#especially the 'evil' cassian lol

[crimesoughtarchive]

“   Do not ask me if you should or should not do.” Holds up an index. “ Before I am a friend I am an honest supporter of the hearts desire. ” spreads fingers outward and then waves it down slowly to her side. “ especially if that desire includes domination of the world as we know it. “

@spiderwarden

Yellow eyes watched her fingers as if mesmerized. Though he shook his head a little to stop staring and meet her red eyes. "As long as I have you at my side, I think that could be something we could achieve." He was sure they could but always wanted to keep a little wariness knowing that there would be those would dare to stop them. Fools who would fall all the same.

[illiicits]

Everything will be okay

Hi everyone!

I would like to start by saying this was very quickly read through and I wrote this while I was at work lol. So I’m sorry if it makes no sense or there are really bad mistakes. I’ll try to come back and fix them. Thank you for reading it and I hope you like it!

Warnings: Azriel x Female reader, some slight dirty talk (not that much), sexual scenes 18+, some cuteness between Az and reader, use of Y/N.

Word count: 5060

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You couldn’t help but envy the beautiful Acheron sister’s. In your opinion Feyre was enough. The Acheron female had infested your beautiful home with something you couldn’t quite understand. You got along just fine with the women, Often hanging out and lending your time to entertain her when she calls. Close friends is what you’d say you are with feyre though mostly one sided at times, on your part.

When the inner circle went to hybron everything went down hill. Chaos was the only word you could describe the event with.

Utter chaos.

Nothing went the way anyone thought it would; especially when evil human queens decided to play with life all for nothing. When two more Acheron sisters showed up out of nowhere you didn’t think much of the effect either of the two newly added children would bring to the inner circle.

When Hybren pulled his stupid little cauldron stunt you were at a disbelief that two arguably already pretty girls turn into stunning gorgeous women.

Watching both the girls stand soaking wet amazed you. The whole experience was a sight to see.

You didn’t not envy the two newly fae women. While beautiful and elegant looking none of the fae could come close to comparing to your kind.

You, yourself, are of rare beauty and pure power. Something the creatures of the world wouldn’t understand if you explained in detail.

You watched sweet little Elain find her mate right away. You watched the fire, hatred filled Acheron sister find her lover too. You couldn’t help the displeased look cross your face at that time. You couldn’t help but to slightly hate the two young sisters who suddenly became so in your face, much like Feyre. You had set aside and locked away your possessive side for Feyre regarding Rhys.

You never had any romantic relationship or feelings towards the high lord. He simply became family after he saved you years ago. You were possessive of all the inner circle, Rhys, Mor, Amren, Cassian, and Azriel. They all were Your family. People you loved and people who returned the love back.

You got along with all of them. Bickering with Cassian, and Mor. Shopping with Amren at times when she could handle socializing with the group, and bringing her food supply when needed.

Azriel though, was a whole other level. We sat in silence in the library, we bickered , we fought and argued. We dance in Rita's, something the shadow singer is not fond of doing and he’d sing with me, though very rarely during the dead of night. When we both happened to meet on a balcony or rooftop of the home.

We’d sneak glances and run off to hide away from the world for a little when things got boring or too intense at times.

His shadows grew fond of you, often eloping you in them and seeking you out when you’re close enough to the shadowsinger. Sometimes, you swear you could hear them whispering the faintest of words to you. Nothing you can fully make out but by the way they were acting you could guess good things.

During Ameranthas rule Az’s demeanor changed. Always brooding, always grumpy, always looking for work; for ways to rescue Rhys. Trying to find a way to sneak in and get him out, maybe even burn the whole damn mountain too. It had killed him during the first couple years the high lord was gone. It took little piece from Azriel.

But somewhere in the last 50 years your relationship flipped. Not somewhere, you remember the night you had crossed the border of friendship into something more. When your whole life changed.

It started in the first few years Rhys was under the mountain. During Starfall.

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“Azriel! Azriel!” You shouted down the hall trying to keep up the pace of one foot in front of the other. It was proving difficult to do in your lilac floral covered gown. One you had gotten just to impress the damn man, one you had gotten just for this star fall.

“Azriel, you big Illyrian baby! Stop running away.” You called to the shadowsinger, a tall frame descending down the hall. A door joining the hallway had slammed shut, you knew it was his bedroom. The only time you went in it was when he had invited you, so you both could share the silence. When he did invite you into his room you’d both more times than not just sit reading out on his balcony or watch the stars shine over the city.

Coming to a halt at the dark wooden door, you stood there hand on the handle catching your breath. You damned your shoes in your head reaching down your leg to your ankle where the straps of your heels sat. Unbuckling them you gathered the pair in your hands and swung open the door.

Az hadn’t turned the lights on yet leaving you slightly blinded by the darkness that engulfed his living quarters. You knew the layout well enough and with the faint glow of the stars leaving traces of light flowing through the arches dividing the bedroom and the balcony, you made your way towards the handsome man.

You sucked in a little breath of cold air, cooling the slight burning sensation you had endure running to catch up. Stopping for a second to take the sight in, you watched Azriel wings flutter with irritation, watched how his back rose and fell with each heavy huff of cold air he let through to his lungs. His back was facing you, top half of his body leaning over the railing his forearm most definitely crossed. He lifted his head and stared at the sky for a couple moments.

He looked transcendent under the starlight. His shadows circling around his shoulders, across his wings, his back, sneaking around his ankles and legs.

Your Eyes narrowed in on the winged Illyrian. You stomped your way over to the tall form. Halfway there you threw one shoe at his back. “What the hell was that Azriel?” You question throwing the next shoe right after. They hit him with a thump and then fall to the ground with a clack.

“I can’t believe you did that!” You yelled in disbelief. “On all the nights, you decided to get moody and be a jerk, you had to pick His favorite holiday, you had to pick the one night we celebrate regardless of him being gone” your frustration rang out into the night stars.

You stopped behind him. Expecting him to hold out longer, but his voice filled the air. “Go away.” Az’s voice felt like it fluttered out into the night air. “No, I’m not leaving, you’re acting like a brat!” You voiced. “ a- a dick! You could easily have ruined the entire night for everyone.” You argued back letting a huff of air leave your lips at the end.

“For fuck’s sake Y/N” he spat out turning around qucikly to face you. “Learn to quit, learn- learn to stop being so goddamn stubborn and pushy!” He yelled back frustrated, running his hand through his hair.

You stood there searching his anger filled eyes. Looking at a man so clearly broken, looking at someone who his whole life hid his pain and suffering from the rest of the world, the rest of the inner circle.

You watched him suck in air and blow it out quickly. His chest rising and falling each time he took a deep breath. Your eyes softened at the sight.

You reached out slowly grabbing a scared hand in yours, “Az, I know it's hard. I know you wish you could do something, anything at all to save him, to - to bring him home.” You spoke softly, barely a whisper afraid the shadowsinger would bolt if you decided to speak full volume again.

“You-” a sigh left your glossed lips. “You need to let go sometimes Az”.

“I don’t.” He replied harshly. “It’s my JOB to be aware, to- to protect everyone.” He ripped his hand from yours stalking towards a lounger.

“I have to keep searching for a way. It shouldn’t be taking me this long to find a way to save him Y/N.” Azriel plopped down on the edge of the lounger. "I'm trying and I’m failing.” He admitted placing his arms on his knees and his head between them.

Your heart ached seeing this warrior so wounded. After fighting battles and doing some of the hardest spying, seeing some of the worst things, hell experiencing the worst. He still feels that everyone else’s trauma is bigger than his.

Walking towards the warrior you reached out and grabbed his hands again. Holding both of them to your chest. “Azriel listen to me.” You spoke trying to comfort your favorite shadowsinger. “You need to let go, you need to learn to live your life sometimes.” You pleaded softly. “I know, trust me, I know that it’s killing you not being able to save him, we all feel like that Az.” You admitted squeezing his hands a little. “We just- we just, I don’t know, we still live. It’s hard and we all are still trying to figure out a way, but azriel you’re not doing anything to help yourself. You stress and stress with no way of lightening the load, or- or even to just relax for a little bit.” You claimed staring down at the beautiful man.

Azriel looked up at you staring into your eyes. He searched your beautiful face. Debating on if he should continue with his delightful thoughts that somehow snuck into his mind. Even though just moments ago he was upset and angry with himself. When you bent down to meet his eyes he caught a glimpse of your cleavage being shown off, more so tonight in the dress you wore than other outfits.

You wanted him to let go and to relax for tonight he could do that. He already knew what he wanted, and has wanted for a little while. He just never wanted to cross that boundary with you. He never wanted to keep something so safe yet completely corrupt in his life. And maybe it was the way you cared for him or maybe it was finally the realization that Rhys may never come home and he should just go for it because he no longer knows if you could disappear next, Or maybe, just maybe it was the tasty fairie wine he consumed earlier that he finally let go of his worries.

“Ok” Azirel's deep voice reached your ears.

“Okay what?” You questioned back. Running your fingers over is his hands you hold in yours. Small delicate fingers tracing rough scarred skin. Azriel even in your heels, that lay by the fence where he stood before, towered over you. The man very much was a giant which worked well for his job for the night court.

Anyone in their right mind should be scared in general of the warrior that sat before you, but you never once had experienced that terrifying feeling people claim they give him. You’ve never once felt like azriel would hurt you. You knew no matter what that him and his shadows would do everything in their power to keep you safe. You don’t know why you felt like that with him. More so than anyone else. You always passed it off as a gut feeling, or being extremely well in tune and good friends.

His voice cut through the small gap of silence that fell between you two. “Ok” he’s hands pulled out of yours.

His hands he had just removed from yours slowly moved to grab the sides of your hips. Bunching the lilac covered dress. You sucked a sharp breath in, air filling your lungs as you looked down at the godlike man with a questionable look casted in your eyes. Hazel eyes filled with lust looked over your face glancing down to your chest that looked bustier than you normally do, then they trailed back up to meet yours.

Heat quickly traveled across your body and up to your cheeks tainting them a light pink. Az hummed, a deep dark sound of approval when he looked at you.

“Will you help me relax tonight Y/N?” He questioned pulling on your hips; bringing you between his knees. His scarred hands lowered to rub the sides of your thighs. Heat began to pull between your thighs as you breathlessly responded to him. “Az? What are you- what are you doing?” Your hands moved to sit on his shoulder bracing yourself from the tug.

“You’ve taken up more of my thoughts than you should Y/N, more than any other woman has before.” His deep voice spoke. “You frustrate me to no end. I watch you smile and laugh and it makes my day so much better. You ease my worries and to help dim the pain and stress I have.” Az stated. “You make me happy and I have fought and fought and fought myself over and over again. Because I’m scared that I’ll end up ruining you with my issues. That you’ll end up being burned and scared.” He continued. “I’ll chase you away.” He choked back a noise in his throat threatening to escape.

Silence filled the air as you tried to understand what he said. Finally you said “you’d never be able to scare me off.” You confirmed. “Nothing would ever force me to stop being here for you, nothing ever.” You exclaimed. “You worry over silly things sometimes.” You remarked with a light smile on your lips.

He leaned forward and kissed your hip over the fabric of your dress. “You don’t know how many dirty thoughts have crossed my mind tonight”. “Watching your lips wrap around the rim of a glass, watching your tongue darting out to lick the frosting left over on your lips.” He looked up. “I’d love to have that pretty mouth wrapped around me.” Azriel said, a smirk starting to make an appearance on his face. His admission sent a shiver through your body and heat building between your thighs under your gown.

You’ve thought about the shadow singer on nights where it was hard to fall asleep. Other times when you’ve had too much to drink at Rita’s, you’ve always been a shamelessly flirty drinker. Often during those nights you’d be dancing with the spymaster after you begged and begged for him to dance with you, something he never usually indulged in, but he could never bring himself to refuse you especially when once he said yes you’d grab his hand with a giggle and the biggest smile would be plastered on your face for the rest of the night.

Most times, you’d end up going home leaning on the tall muscled man talking his ear off as his shadows danced around you. Azriel would drop you off at your bedroom door and bid you a goodnight. Those nights you’d always end up tossing and turning in your sleep so you’d always end up in the dead of night with your hand between your thighs whispering his name.

You breathlessly let his name fall from your lips.

“Yes Y/N?” He questioned back.

His hands slowly lifted the sides of the dress up the pads of his fingers dragging across your smooth skin. Goosebumps raised across your arms and legs. Something so delicious about his scarred hands against the silk of your leg made a small sound escape from your throat. Azriel cupped the back of your knees dragging you forward guiding each leg to sit on the sides of his pure muscle thighs.

You sat on Azirels lap. Breathing heavy and clenching your thighs. Not believing that this situation was in fact real. You begged yourself to wake up from this dream.

Scarred hands stayed under your dress slowly moving them from behind your knees to the sides of your thighs. You felt like you were burning from his touch. That if you looked down under your pretty lilac dress you wore just for this man, the one you're sitting on top of thighs on either side of, that you’d find your flesh melted away, right there where his hands gripped your thighs so tightly it stung.

His hands traveled up higher to your hips. Placing both hands in a tight grip and slowly moving you; once, twice, three times. He slowly guided you to roll your hips with his hands.

Your eyes slowly fluttered shut at the euphoric sensation that started thrumming in your body. Radiating from his hands to your hips then through your body, down your legs, up the sides of your torso to your heart.

“Did you wear this just for me Y/N?” He questioned.

“Did you wear this lilac flower dress that fits you so well to show off those perfect round tits and your silky legs just for me?” He questioned with a deep growl while he fingered the slit open exposing my skin to the cool air.

“Hm, Y/N? Did you dress up just for the terrifying shadowsinger? To get his attention, to please him?” He spoke again.

Not liking that you weren’t looking at him,or replying to him when he questioned you he roughly grabbed your throat, fingers splayed around your neck and on top of your jaw. You not responding irked the spy. He would never let his questions go unanswered in such a serious situation, this was a very very serious situation, so he’d get the answer out of you.

His eyes narrowed on your face watching the pure bliss and lust fall over your pretty features as you rolled your hips on your own. He jerked your jaw down using the fingers that stayed slightly over your jaw.

“Open your eyes Y/N. Open those pretty sparkly eyes for me and you are to not close them again.” He commanded. “You hear me Y/N?” Azriel’s firm voice shook slightly, something you definitely didn’t notice yourself but he felt it. Your eyes fluttered open slowly, you stared down at Az with sparkling lust filled eyes. A small sound emitted from your throat when he squeezed it slightly, trying to get you to answer his questions, to follow his commands.

“Yes, I did.” You gasp out while you slowly roll your hips every so often, begging and commanding for something more. “I wore it just for you, I wanted you to look at me; see that I dressed up for you, I got dolled up for you.” You confirmed. You gasped out when you rolled your hood just right hitting a sweet spot ober and over again. “Hoping, no- no praying you’d notice how I wore one of your favorite colors. Just for you, Az.” You continued staring into his eyes watching them deepen with want and some sort of dark twisted need.

You swing your arms over his shoulders, one hand going into his hair at the nape of his neck, tugging softly at the silky back hair. Az let go of your throat moving his hand to cup one of your breasts over the sweetheart neckline of the dress.

He moved closer to your body. Scarred hands squeezing your hip in one and your breast in the other. He leans forward his lips making contact with the top of your smooth mound. You sucked in a sharp breath, your body is in overdrive. You felt his mouth kissing over your mounds giving each one the same amount of attention. Licking, and kissing, sucking the top each sending heat waves everytime he did. He finally let up his assault on your chest with a quick pop and a slight jiggle of your breast.

Azriel moved to fully sit back in the lounge. His movement fixed the location of how high you sat on top of him. You felt his warmth beneath you; right under your own. You bucked your hips once, twice enjoying the feeling of him pressed into you. Azriel watched as you slowly built your arousal, his rough skin rested on the silky thighs rubbing them- squeezing them. He reached behind you tugging on the lace of the corset that held your dress up.

“Az” you moaned out so softly; barely audible his eyes snapped back up to yours as the top of the dress fell down exposing two very nicely rounded breast. Your Nipples harded from the cold chilly air hitting the warm sensitive beads. Azriel’s eyes darkened watching your chest rise and fall, he swallowed, enchanted at your beautiful body. He always knew you were wonderful. He knew something delicious always sat under your clothes.

He breathed out a breath just anticipating see you all fully under him one day. Cause after he’s had you once there’s no way in hell he’d let another touch you how he will tonight. No one else will ever again get to hear your soft moans and gasp.

Grabbing the sides of his face making him look up into your eyes. You spoke softly “kiss me Azriel. I need- I need you to kiss me.” Az didn’t bother responding to the request verbally as he felt the uncontrollable urge to just have you and need to consume your breath. He wrapped his arms around your waist and kissed you. Lips wrapping together, tugging and nipping each other. His tongue graced your bottom lip and you instantly opened slightly to allow his tongue to dart into your mouth to dance with your own. Kissing for minutes only taking breaks to catch your breath then you got right back into it.

Az’s hands went down to your ass gripping it to guide you to rock back and forth on his clothed cock. Tired of not having enough to feel, you reached down between your thighs to the buckles that kept Azriel tucked away. Pulling at them you finally got them free. Azriel helped you out by pulling his hardened cock out the confinement of his pants.

You looked down between the two of you. Watching as Azriel’s hand that’s wrapped around his length moves up and down. Watching as his head slightly starts glistening with pre cum.

“Such a dirty girl.” Az’s voice cut through the air. Azriel was watching you as you stared at what his hand was doing. “You like watching me touch myself princess?” Az questioned you. You hummed in response, briefly looking up to meet his eyes before they returned back to the show.

Azriel was a big man who was very cocky in his fitness and abilities. You’ve heard the rumors and giggles of the girls talking about the three winged men and their size correspondence of wings. You couldn’t help but giggle slightly at the thought that all the girls were in fact telling the truth when they’d whisper to each other about what possibly hid underneath these warriors' leathers.

“Be a good girl and touch yourself for me” Az stated. You didn’t listen as you moved your hips instead. Back and forth trying to get some sort of friction to help soothe the growing heat and need that was building even faster now.

Azriel let out a lightly growl of frustration when he suddenly took hold of your wrist. “Be a good girl y/n and touch yourself, like I asked.” He angrily said, taking the wrist he was holding with a firm grip as he moved it to the spot between your legs.

Your delicate fingers met with the heat and wetness that had been building that had soaked into your lacy fabric. You slowly took your fingers and ran them over your heat quickly before settling your middle finger over your clit. Light and airy moans escaped you as rubbed clockwise circle movements on the small sensitive bud.

“Just like that baby, you’re doing so good for me” his gruff voice praised. Your eyes fluttered shut as you worked yourself up to a blissful state. You completely disregarded his earlier command of keep your eyes open and he didn’t seem to mind either. “Az!” You moaned out breathlessly going faster.

“Fuck Azriel, oh Az” you cried out throwing your head back.

Azriel aggressively removed your hand from yourself taking quick actions to quickly remove your lace thong. As soon as it was off he quickly continued your earlier actions with his own. Scarred rough fingers met smooth delicate skin as he used his thumb to continue the torture on your sensitive clit. “So fucking pretty, you’re so pretty gods.” Azriel praised. Causing you to grab his wrist between your thighs as your hips started following the movement. Trying to build the sensation of flutters and bliss more.

“ I need mo- more” you whined out in the night air. Bringing your eyes to look at the shadowsinger below you. “You need more, what babygirl?” He questioned eyes darting between his hand touching your wetness then back to your eyes. “Come on love, use those words otherwise I won’t know what you want.” He teased.

“I need you.” You whispered out.

“What’s the magic word princess?” He taunted. “You know I’m not giving you it until you say it, so what do we say love”

“Please Az, I need more” you spoke looking into his eyes. “I need you, please, I want you, oh gods please Az please. You begged breathlessly pushing his hand down and away from you as you lifted your hips up.

“Fuck baby girl, you sound so fucking desperate for me.” He moaned.

Azriel moved to wrap his arm around your middle pulling your bodies closer. He used his other hand to pump himself a few times before running the tip of his cock through your wetness back and forth. Holding you tightly to him, azirel turned his head to kiss from your shoulder to the dip in your neck, up to your jaw and to your plump lips. He claimed your mouth with his as your arms came to rest on his muscled shoulders.

Azriel pulled away, breaking your intense kiss. He rested his forehead against yours as he softly spoke “ if it hurts, or if you want to stop at any time tell me.” He kissed the side of your cheek. “Okay? y/n” he questioned.

You smiled at the man before you “okay Az”. You gave him the green light. He gave you one last kiss before pulling back resting on a hand on your hip while the other held him at your entrance. He slowly helped you sink down onto him.

“Fuck!” He cussed. “You’re so fucking wet for me” he hummed. Moving his other hand that had helped guided him into you, to your sides. He gripped the flesh tightly causing you to cry out.

You felt yourself stretching around his cock as you slowly guided yourself further down until you had his whole length filling you up. You looked down between your bodies catching a glance at his cock disappearing into you as you slowly started bouncing up and down. Your walls gripping him tightly.

“Oh gods Az. Fuck, baby” you moaned to him.

The sound of the two of you filled the air around you. Deep grunts and breathless Moans circled into the night. The cool crisp air helped cool the both of you as sweat started building across your skins.

You kissed Az as you picked up the pace. Bring the both of you closer to your ecstasy. He wrapped both of his arms around your torso giving him leverage to relentlessly meet each one of your downwards movements with a forceful thrust of his own causing him to hit that little sweet spot inside of you.

“Cum for me.” He commanded between his moans and cussing.

And you did.

You cried out in pleasure as he finally pushed you over the edge. A blissful and content feeling finally settling over you as you road out your high waiting for the shadowsinger to find his release too.

When he did he pulled your body closer to him wrapping his muscled arms around your body. Hugging you close, with his head in your neck. He kissed your neck a few times as his pace started to slow. You listened to his ragged breathing that was fanning over your skin causing goosebumps to raise across the entirety of your body.

Azriel kissed up your neck and finally claimed your soft lips with his. Kissing you sweetly and passionately, he slowly brought both of his rough scarred hands to rest on your sides. His thumbs rubbing soothing circles on your soft skin. You both didn’t say anything, too high from the release you both very much needed.

Suddenly the sky lit up bright and you looked up. Azriel stayed staring at his beautiful lover. Watching as the bright spirits reflected a soft glow off her eyes. A smile graced his lips as he watched her own grin start taking over her face. He felt something tug deep within him. Some undeniable force connecting the two of you together.

Suddenly something smacked the side of her cheek. There sat upon her rose tinted skin sat the spirit’s glow. when her eyes met hazel ones she giggled. A wondrous sound Azriel deemed to hear for the rest of his life. More spirits passed them, some flying past without a care for the two, while others when they passed by showered the two with their glowing light.

Soon the two lovers were covered with a star-like glow. Staring into eachother eyes they laughed, with bright big smiles.

You leaned forward lining your face to meet Az’s. “Everything will be okay.” You whispered softly to him.

“Everything will be just fine” Az replied as you wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him sweetly.

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[acourtofmarvels]

Miracle

Azriel x OC

Summary: Azriel's mate is Rhysand's sister. She died a long time ago by the hand of the High Lord of the Spring court. Something happens when the Inner Circle goes to Hybern...

(I should point out this is my first time ever posting something I wrote on Tumblr. I have wrote things before on Wattpad, thought I'm not very good. This is short but I hope at least one person likes it lol.)

I changed the ending of ACOMAF sorry not sorry. I liked the idea of this fic lol

Warnings: uh, murder and violence? (did i do this right?)

Word count: 2647

Azriel was never the same when she died. None of them were. She was family. A sister. A cousin. A best friend. His mate.

She was taken from them in such a surprise. The High Lord of the Spring court took her and her mother, for what? Hatred? Maliciousness? Out of pure evil?

Rhysand got revenge for his sister and mother. Azriel got his revenge for the woman who raised him, and his mate. Alongside the High Lord of the Night Court, who lost his life that day too.

Killing the High Lord and his sons, except for one.

Azriel and Rhiannon didn't find out they were mates for about 100 years. It was a shock to both of them. They never had the chance to accept the bond before she was killed.

"Tell me about her," Feyra whispered, running her fingers up and down her mates bare chest. Rhysand didn't talk much about his sister. None of the inner circle did. It was too hard on them. No one even mentioned her name, especially not in front of Azriel.

Rhysand had told Feyre what happened to his sister and mother long ago. And Feyre talking about Elain and Nesta reminded him of her.

Rhysand smiled as he remembered her. "She was kind, selfless. Stubborn and hard headed," he chuckled a bit. The sound of his laugh warmed Feyre's heart. "Her and Cassian were much alike. The two of them were always causing mischief. It drove our mother crazy..." Rhysand paused, trying not to get choked up. "She was strong. Hell of a fighter. We taught her everything we knew. Illyrian women weren't meant to be fighters long ago, thats why most of them got their wings clipped."

Just the mention of what they use to do in the past made his blood boil. He took a deep breath to contain his anger. "Father never wanted her to fight either. But everyday after training I would come home and teach her everything i learned that day. Didn't matter how tired and sore I was. And she would do it perfectly. Never faulting. She loved to fly. Father never clipped her wings but he didn't want her flying either. I always went with her or covered for her when she wanted to."

"Can I ask about her and Azriel?" Feyra was nervous to ask about the two of them. She knew they were mates but never got a chance to accept the bond.

Rhys moved the hair out of her face, staring down and admiring her. He loved that she got him to talk about Rhiannon again.

And he nodded simply at her question.

"Why didn't they accept the bond?"

"They were going to. There was going to be a wedding. Mother even made her dress. But then she... " He couldn't talk about her death.

"I don't know when the bond snapped into place for them but the night Azriel came to tell me, I knew something was off with him. I have never EVER seen Azriel that scared and nervous. Azriel is so good at hiding his emotions but that night..." A huge smile was on his face as he remembered. "I thought Az was going to shit his pants right in front of me."

"But I was so happy for them. Two important people in my life becoming mates... I envied Azriel for a while. That he found his person. I wanted that." Tears welded up in his eyes as he looked down at Feyre. He lifted her up so he could place a kiss upon her lips. "Now I have and when I look at him I... I feel guilty. His mate his gone."

"I understand. I feel it sometimes too. How can I be so happy when others are not? How is it fair?"

"We never got a proper sending for them. We never got their wings. I-I don't even know what he did with them." As Rhys began to cry all Feyre could do was hold him. She herself cried for her mate, feeling the pain he was feeling through the bond.

Azriel smelled it the second they entered the castle. He knew that intoxicating scent anywhere. No matter if it had been centuries, he would never forget. It had to be old. He knew she had been here before. Just two times in the past with Cassian for whatever mission it had been.

Azriel almost got sick to his stomach when they finally saw it. Right above the cauldron, pinned to the wall like a trophy... Her glorious wings.

Everyone knew who they belonged to the second they got there. Somehow Feyre even figured it out, never even knowing her.

"The trap was so easy, I'm honestly a bit disappointed you didn't see it coming." Faster than any of them could see, Jurian fired a hidden ash bolt through Azriel's chest. Mor screamed.

They had no choice but to go with the king.

***

"They are beautiful... Illyrian wings. I just had to get some for myself." The King smiled evilly. "I have your father to thank for that." He directed it that to Tamlin. He motioned his soldiers to remove the wings from the wall.

What more could he do? Azriel is dying. Cassian's wings shredded. He's turned the Archeron sisters into Fae. He plans to turn the human queens too.

"Daemati are hard to come by nowadays. Your sister was also one, wasn't she Rhysand?" None of them dared to move. Rhysand said nothing, curling his fingers into fists. "Daemati are powerful. To have one at my hands..." He ran his dirty fingers down the wings. He snatched them from his guards and without blinking he threw them into the cauldron.

The room filled with a piercing screech and a blinding light from the cauldron. The room shook as if there were an earthquake. When he light faded everyone stared at the cauldron, waiting. Just waiting to see what happened next.

Then it happened. A hand shot out, followed by another as a figure pulled themselves out of it. The King of Hybern smiled wickedly as his plans were coming all together.

Everyones eyes were wide, even the Kings own men were shocked. The woman who submerged out of the cauldron, a ghost, but never forgotten. Her eyes completely white and fogged over. Not a single emotion on her face.

"Come," The King's voice echoed, ordering the female to him.

"Rhia," Rhysand choked out. His sister didn't even look at him. She just went and stood by the King of Hybern, doing exactly as he said as if she were a puppet, and he were the puppet master. "Rhiannon, please. It's me." Rhys was pleading with his sister. To look at him. To show something, anything. Was it really her?

Mor screamed her name through her sobbing. With whatever strength he had, Cassian had to hold her back. He couldn't risk the King of Hybern hurting her too. Cassian pleaded for her also. But none of them could snap her out of whatever spell the cauldron put her under.

"Rhiannon," Azriel's voice was barely a whisper. He was going in and out of consciousness. Feyre watched as the white light flickered for just a second in her eyes.

"Call to her again," Feyre said to Azriel only.

"Rhiannon," Azriel said as loud as he could. Feyre saw that her eyes flicker again. Again, she spoke. "I love you, Rhiannon."

And just like that, her eyes turned back to her normal glowing purple and her hands were around the King's throat, her entire body pinning him down to the ground. Rhysand, Mor and Feyre, the only ones not completely hurt were up to their feet in an instance to fight off the soldiers running to their king.

"You will never be a god," Rhiannon hissed, squeezing onto the Kings neck as hard as she could until his head was separated from his shoulders.

She stood up slowly, rolling her shoulders back and cracking her neck. She turned around to see her family, dripping in blood but all alive.

Rhia looked down at her bloody hands, to her arms, her legs. Her body was completely bare. Her skin still glistening from the liquid of the cauldron. She was alive. She flexed her wings out as she realized she had them back.

She looked down at the ground, seeing Cassian and Azriel. Both of them bleeding out and barely alive. Her eyes met her brothers. He was the last thing she saw before she blacked out.

***

Rhiannon awoke with a gasp, clutching onto her chest, body flailing around in the bed she was in. She began to calm down once she realized where she was. Though the room was different, she recognized the townhouse anywhere. She couldn't remember how she got here or what happened. Darkness. She remembered darkness. How long has it been?

She looked around the room, only now noticing the many people sleeping on the floor and in the chairs. Cassian was hanging off the couch in the room, Mor opposite of him, her feet basically kicking him in the face. Below them layed her brother on a mattress, a woman unfamiliar to her tangled beside him. To their left was Amren, arms crossed over her chest and her head hanging back as she was asleep in the chair.

As she looked to her right she finally saw him. He was using his arm as a pillow as he was sitting in a chair but laying his head on the side of the bed she lay. She reached out to him, his shadows wrapped around her fingers. His eyes shot open and he sat up quickly. She gasped and jumped back, eyes wide.

They stared at each other for what felt like minutes but was only seconds. Azriel made the first move as he grabbed her hand, winnowing them out of the bedroom and downstairs away from the sleeping others.

Images of what happened circled in her mind as she began to remember what happened in Hybern. "I heard you," Was the first thing she said, a sob escaping her mouth. Azriel placed his scarred hands on the sides of her face, tears rolling down his face.

"You were here and I still couldn't believe it. Madja said you may never wake up. It's been weeks. We never gave up on you. I never left your side. I'll never leave your side again." They held onto each other for a long moment, taking in this moment. Azriel dreamed of holding her in his arms every night. Against all odds, against everything, his dream came true. His mate was alive.

There was a loud thud upstairs making Rhiannon jump out of Azriel's embrace. Running, loud, footsteps shook the house as multiple people ran down the stairs. Azriel grabbed hold of her again, needing that closeness.

"Fucking move, Cas!" Was the first thing she heard from her brother as him and Cassian fell off the bottom two steps. Rhysand pushed Cassian's body off of him, looking up at his sister. Matching smiles came upon their faces as Rhysand jumped to his feet, pulling her out of Azriel's grip and into his arms.

"I thought I lost you forever," Rhys whispered into his sisters hair, kissing the top of her head. He pulled away just looking at her face. They're matching violet eyes both filling with tears.

"I couldn't save her," She shook her head. "I fought so hard Rhys. If not save myself then save her."

"I know, I know." Rhys soothed her, stroking his hand down the back of her hair. Rhys found the aftermath of the people who took them. There was at least 20 dead Spring Court soldiers. He and his brothers trained her well. "You're safe now."

"Okay, my turn!" Rhysand was pulled away from Rhiannon harshly. She let out a yelp as Cassian picked her up and spun her around the room.

"Easy, Cass. Don't break her." Amren barked behind him.

He set her down to her feet, kissing her cheeks and forehead. A goofy smile on his face. "I missed you too, Cassian." She leaned up and pressed a kiss to his cheek also.

"Simmer down, Az. You're stinking up the room." Mor joked, making everyone else laugh. "Jealousy isn't a good look on you."

"Aw, Azzy you want a kiss too," Cassian reached for Az, only to get punched in the gut.

"Finally, come here my sweet," Mor laughed, pulling Rhia to herself now. Kissing her cheeks just as Cassian did. Everyone finally got their hugs and kisses with Rhiannon. Most going back for seconds. Even Amren wanted a hug.

Azriel always had to be right beside her, needed to be touching her always. Wether that was a gentle hand at the lower part of her back, or holding onto her hand.

"Rhia there is someone I want you to meet." Rhysand held his hand out to the woman who had been quietly observing the reunion from the side. "This is Feyre. My mate."

Rhia almost began to cry again but she held it back. "Your mate?" Rhysand's smile was so big. "You found your mate." She placed a gentle hand on her brothers face, seeing how happy he was just by the mention of the female.

Feyre waited patiently for Rhia to acknowledge her first. Rhiannon approached Feyre slowly. This was it. This is the moment Feyre had been nervously thinking about for the past few weeks.

"You're so beautiful," Rhia beamed, a bright smile on her face. Feyre and Rhys both let out a sigh of relief. Rhiannon's eyes immediately went down to the tattoo covering Feyre's arm. Her eyes wide at realizing what it meant. "High-" Her sentence was cut off short by Feyre hugging her.

"It is an honor to meet you." Feyre said to her. Everyone laughed at the look on Rhia's face, certainly not expecting that.

"The honor is mine, my High Lady." Rhia did a small bow to her, before taking Feyre's hands in hers. "I've always wanted a sister."

"Hey! What about me?" Mor barked loudly, making everyone laugh.

"Just ignore her, I have no idea who she is." Rhia 'whispered' to Feyre.

"Alright just cause you came back to life and shit, and this is easily the happiest day of my life, doesn't mean I won't kick your ass." Mor jumped toward Rhia who started to run away laughing loudly.

That laugh. That laugh is music to everyone's ears.

"Mother save us," Amren muttered, shaking her head.

As the moment came by, Azriel grabbed his mate, shielding her from Mor. A rare smile on his face.

"Ha!" Rhia laughed, pointing at Mor who couldn't get past Azriel's wings.

"So not fair." Mor pouted, crossing her arms over her chest. "You can't hide behind him forever. He'll have to walk away at some point."

"Who says I'm ever leaving her side?" Azriel challenged. Mor rolled her eyes dramatically.

"So are we gonna be planning a wedding soon?" Cassian spoke up, wiggling his eyebrows and sending a wink at Rhia.

She suddenly got nervous, stepping out from behind him so they could face each other. "Do you still... Do you still want to accept the bond?" Rhia didn't know how long it had been she she died, but she knew it had been a couple centuries. What if Azriel found someone else? What if he's already married and fallen in love with someone else?

It was if Azriel could see exactly what was going on in her mind. Maybe he felt her sense of nervousness and fear through the bond.

"I have loved only you for centuries, and I will love you for many more." Azriel cupped her face in his hands, pressing a kiss to her lips. "I am yours, forever."

"And I am yours."

Acotar Masterlist

[moodymelanist]

Where The Light Won't Find You

Nesta Archeron descends into the darkness.

What if Nesta went into the Court of Nightmares?

So... fully blaming @separatist-apologist for this one. Her evil!Elucien is so sexy that I had to get in on the fun (but for eventually evil!Nessian). No clue when I’ll keep updating this but I’m making myself post this now while I’m excited LOL

Read on AO3 here!

Chapter One

✵✵✵✵✵✵

Nesta

Nesta thought she’d been angry living with her father in that tiny hovel. She thought she’d been furious seeing him do nothing day after day, content to let them starve until Feyre went into the woods, but nothing compared to how livid she was at her youngest sister forcing her to submit. Yet again. Because somehow, little Feyre always knew best.

As she sat in Feyre’s ridiculously opulent living room, wallowing in just how out of place she was, she leveled a glare in her sister’s direction. Feyre was flanked by that arrogant husband of hers, who was clearly enjoying himself, along with Amren and Cassian. Elain was nowhere to be found, and neither was the Shadowsinger, but he at least had the excuse of likely being out on Court business. 

“I’m not moving to the House of Wind,” Nesta said flatly, her tone cold as ice. “I’m not a member of this court. You can’t do this.”

“It’s not up for debate,” Amren replied just as frostily. “You can either go to the House of Wind to train with Cassian in the mornings and work in the library in the afternoons...”

Nesta turned to her sister and completely ignored Amren, careful to keep her face blank even as she raged inside. She hadn’t spoken to Amren since their fight on the pleasure barge earlier that summer, and she had no intention of changing that now. “Or?”

“Or we can take you back to the human lands,” Feyre continued, shifting in her seat under the intensity of Nesta’s gaze. “It’s up to you.”

“Those are my only options?” Nesta almost snarled. Anyone with a brain could see that these weren’t true choices; she was just picking between two prisons. One a gilded cage and the other a guaranteed death sentence, especially if she was returned anywhere near their old village. She hadn’t heard about anything of note after the war with Hybern, but she hadn’t forgotten the grove of ash trees in Graysen’s estate.

“I— yes.” Feyre squared her shoulders and stopped her fidgeting long enough to stare Nesta down. “We discussed them, and we feel that’s the best we can offer you right now.”

“You have no right,” Nesta hissed, practically seeing red from how enraged she was. She was a grown woman – how dare Feyre and her new family act like they had any authority over her. “You dragged Elain and I into this mess. You are the reason I’m like this, why I’m stuck here in this wretched body—”

“Enough,” Rhysand snapped. Night-kissed power leaked from him and Nesta made sure her silver fire didn’t shake their precious mansion in response. As far as everyone knew, her powers had vanished with the Cauldron, and she wanted to keep things that way. “You don’t get to talk to her like that.”

“Be quiet, or you can leave,” Feyre told him sternly before Nesta could hiss something back. Feyre leveled her own fierce glare at her husband before turning back to Nesta. “I don’t care what you say, Nesta. You’re going up to the House and training, and that’s final.”

“How is Elain supposed to see me?” Nesta fired back. “How am I supposed to do anything without assistance?”

“You’re welcome to walk down the ten thousand steps,” Feyre suggested, even though everyone knew Nesta wasn’t physically able to do that. “Or someone can transport you, if they’re so inclined.”

“Elain can do neither of these things,” Nesta hissed. She didn’t miss how Feyre’s shoulders tightened just slightly at the mention of their sister – perhaps Elain wasn’t folding into Feyre’s little plan as easily as Feyre assumed she would. “How am I supposed to see her?”

Nesta hadn’t spoken to Elain much since last Solstice, but it certainly wasn’t for Elain’s lack of trying. Nesta just didn’t have the words to explain how heavily the darkness weighed on her, especially when Elain seemed to be thriving here in Velaris. She didn’t know how to talk about how when she wasn’t numb to everything, all she could feel was rage. 

Still, she would use every opportunity to try and wiggle her way out of yet another one of Feyre’s absurd demands. Elain would forgive her.

“You can work that out between yourselves,” Feyre answered smoothly. “But I’m sure Cassian would be happy to take you to see Elain.”

Nesta slid her gaze over to him, curling her lip as she looked him up and down. He hadn’t bothered to use that time he’d promised her on the battlefield, and she had no plans to ask him for it now. “I don’t want him anywhere near me.”

“Too bad, sweetheart,” Cassian replied mildly. His wings shifted behind him, betraying his true anxiety about the situation, and she held back from calling him out on it. “We’re training tomorrow whether you like it or not. I suggest you get a good night’s sleep.”

“I don’t recall asking for your guidance,” she snapped. It was almost painful to look at him, knowing he’d participated in planning this farce of an intervention, so she pursed her lips and dismissed his presence altogether. She turned her gaze back to Feyre, whose cheeks had turned slightly red in anger. So she could get upset on behalf of her new family, but not for Nesta. Never for Nesta. “I want to speak to you. Alone.”

“Fine.” Feyre waited until it was just her and Nesta before she spoke again. “You can’t insult your way out of this one, Nesta. No matter what you say, I’m done paying for this behavior.”

“You’re not paying for anything,” Nesta cruelly pointed out. She knew Feyre was right about not being able to insult her way out of this, but it didn’t mean she wouldn’t try. “It’s your precious husband’s money.”

Feyre flinched slightly as the mark landed as intended. “It doesn’t matter whose money it is. You’re embarrassing us, and I won’t have it anymore. We won’t have it anymore.”

“I didn’t know my life was under your discretion,” Nesta replied flatly. Her heart pounded fiercely in her chest as the walls continued to close in, but she wasn’t going to go quietly. “I didn’t know you could even feel embarrassment with all the money he throws around.”

“You spent five hundred gold marks last night, Nesta!” Feyre shouted, her eyes flashing. Nesta refused to be cowed; she’d seen Feyre get upset so many times over the years it barely even registered anymore. “Do you have any idea how much money that is? And how ridiculous it was to see what you spent it on? How humiliating it was for my family to see that?”

My family. Something Nesta clearly wasn’t a part of anymore. “You saving face isn’t my problem—”

“It is now,” Feyre retorted. “You’re going to train at Windhaven with Cassian, and you’re going to work in the library. You won’t be causing any more trouble.”

“I won’t go.”

“We packed up your things and sent them over to the House. Rhys spoke to the landlord, and your building is going to be torn down and rebuilt as a shelter for families displaced by the war.”

Nesta was so caught off guard she couldn’t hold back her power for a moment, gritting her teeth as she fought against the silver fire flowing through her veins. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“It’s already done, Nesta,” Feyre told her. She took a deep breath and schooled her features into careful neutrality, something she’d clearly learned from Nesta, before continuing. “Are we finished having this pointless argument? Everyone is waiting.”

“I’m never speaking to you again,” Nesta vowed, her voice almost shaking with rage. How dare Feyre take away one of the only choices she’d ever made for herself, as if it were nothing? Like Nesta herself was nothing, just a doll to be moved from cage to cage as Feyre saw fit.

“That’s fine,” Feyre replied, shrugging before getting up off the couch. “Talk to whoever you’d like. It won’t change the reality of the situation.”

A few minutes later, Nesta found herself standing in the entry hall with Cassian and Feyre. She said nothing as they made idle conversation around her, confirming details of how they were getting to the House and which of Nesta’s things had been packed against her will. Her skin crawled at the thought of them forcing their way into her apartment, combing their fingers through her possessions, judging her for the way she’d decided to live. 

She wasn’t stupid – she knew she wasn’t living up to the standards everyone had set for her. Rhea had made her expectations for Nesta’s life very clear, and Feyre and Elain had heard her parrot their mother’s wishes for so long that they’d been appalled to see the kind of neighborhood she’d ended up in after the war. But it had been her decision, her choice about where to live, how to dress, what shops to frequent. It was supposed to be up to her to decide when she would see her so-called family; she hadn’t wanted to reveal any kind of weakness to them, so she’d kept herself as far removed as possible.

And now she couldn’t even have that.

Instead of contributing to the conversation, Nesta focused on keeping that raging power of hers under control. She might have been almost blinded with rage, but she didn’t want to explode and accidentally hurt anyone. It was bad enough that she hadn’t been able to keep herself under control during her argument with Feyre; she wouldn’t be making that mistake again.

Any hope of quieting her anger disappeared as Morrigan waltzed into the room, exchanging hugs with Cassian and Feyre before saying something to Nesta about wearing her leathers in Windhaven tomorrow.

Nesta just looked at her, an icy glare firmly in place; there was no need for a mask for that one. Morrigan gave her the fakest smile she’d ever seen before turning back to her friends – no, her family – to continue laughing and joking with them. 

Feyre eventually cleared her throat before walking over to Nesta. “Today you can focus on getting settled on the House and unpacking your things. Maybe get some rest?”

Nesta said nothing, not even looking in Feyre’s direction. She decided to focus her attention on the wall across from her; as children, being ignored bothered Feyre like nothing else. Perhaps it still held true.

Morrigan and Cassian continued poking fun at one another as Feyre shifted awkwardly on her feet. “Alright. We’ll talk soon.”

We won’t, Nesta thought as she continued to ignore Feyre. When Morrigan offered her elbows to her and Cassian, Nesta reached out and grabbed one, keeping her chin high even as she wanted to scream in frustration. She remained silent as Morrigan gave Cassian a look, which he thankfully didn’t return. He winked at Feyre instead before they disappeared, which somehow felt worse.

She intentionally tensed her body as Cassian grabbed her in mid-air. He sighed before flying them safely to the balcony below, and the second his feet were on the ground, she shoved her way out of his grip and made her way towards the door. It was cold out and she hadn’t brought her gloves, but she wasn’t going to admit she needed any extra warmth, lest Cassian get any ideas.

“You’ll be in your old room,” he called out to her retreating back. She didn’t stop walking, placing one hand on the door handle before turning to scowl at him. “My room’s a level above that.”

“Why would I need to know that?” she asked, pulling the thick door open with a grunt. Had the door gotten heavier, or had she gotten weaker? Probably the latter, she realized. She knew she’d gotten smaller and smaller as the months had passed by, but to struggle opening a door was a new low. 

That seemed to be a pattern for her these days.

“Maybe you’ll need someone to read you a bedtime story,” he teased while following her inside. He held the door open effortlessly and she scowled even further at him for showing off his strength. “I hope it’s one of those smutty books you like so much.”

She didn’t dignify that with a response as she walked towards the stairs, eager to get to her room and finally be alone. He followed her and easily matched her pace with his much longer legs as they walked downstairs. “I don’t remember asking for an escort.”

“I’m just making sure you make it there in one piece,” he replied easily. He didn’t seem too bothered by her attitude, which only made her bad mood even worse. “Az is two doors down from me, but he won’t be here much. It’ll mostly be only you and me.”

“Shame,” Nesta said coolly. Knowing it would get under his skin, she added, “At least he’s pretty to look at.”

Cassian laughed. “I’ll pass the message along, Nes.”

“Don’t call me that.” She leveled another cold glare at him as they arrived at the familiar door to her bedroom. “Excuse me.”

“You should eat something first,” he said, leaning against the closed door. “Get a hot meal in your stomach before training tomorrow.”

The thought of eating something knowing she would almost certainly throw it up made her nonexistent appetite even smaller. She didn’t have alcohol to block her nightmares out, and she certainly wasn’t going to warm Cassian’s bed to make herself too tired to dream. “I’m not training with you at that horrible place.”

“Like hell you aren’t,” he retorted. “You know what’ll happen if you don’t. I’m only trying to help you.”

“Right,” Nesta said, smiling in a way she knew unnerved him. She knew Feyre would never let them dump her in the human lands like garbage no matter how many times she threatened it, even though several members of her little family wouldn’t hesitate to. Morrigan and Rhysand would probably fight for the privilege. “You have quite the definition of help.”

Cassian studied her for a long moment before sighing and moving out of her way. “I’ll bring you something to eat later. I’m sure you’re tired.”

She didn’t say anything, instead fixing him with one of her flat looks that she knew made him uncomfortable. She really was tired, and she wanted to lie down more than anything, but she wasn’t going to show any weakness if she could avoid it. She had to stand her ground for as long as possible. 

“Mor or Rhys will winnow us up to Windhaven after breakfast tomorrow,” he added once he realized she wouldn’t be saying anything else. “Get some rest, alright?”

She gave him one last irritated glance before turning and retreating into her bedroom. It felt good to close the door in his stupid, sad face and finally be alone, where she didn’t have to keep up this exhausting façade. She was angry, yes – livid, actually – but putting on her cold mask without the help of a tall glass of wine was proving more difficult by the minute.

Between her indignation at her new circumstances, the strain of holding back her power, and the headache that had been building all afternoon, she’d never needed a drink more in her life. She knew that wasn’t an option and wouldn’t even bother asking the House for it; Feyre or Rhysand had undoubtedly warded against that to make her even more miserable. 

Nobody had a problem with Morrigan practically downing an entire bottle of wine with every meal, but let Nesta spend a few expensive nights in Velaris and suddenly it was unacceptable. The hypocrisy of it all made her want to throw something, but then Cassian would come running in, and she’d rather die than have to explain the source of her outburst to him. 

✵✵✵✵✵✵

Nesta slept fitfully during her first night in the House. There wasn’t much to do other than stew in her anger and promise to herself that she’d get her revenge, but that eventually burned itself out in favor of a full-body ache. 

She couldn’t drink to keep the nightmares away, and when she did manage to fall asleep, it wasn’t long before she was awake and running to the bathroom to throw up. The smell of a hearty dinner just outside of her door made it even worse, her stomach reacting poorly to the smell of it, and she was thankful Cassian hadn’t managed to bring it inside her room like he’d probably wanted to. 

Cassian either didn’t know or didn’t care that she could barely stand when she joined him for breakfast the next morning, but even as exhausted as she was, she refused to let him get the last word in. She hated wearing the tight, fitted leathers he favored so much, but being uncomfortable was more than worth getting a rise out of him. Even when she was a ghost of herself, it was far too easy to rile him up.

When they got to Windhaven, it was all she could do to walk over to a rock and sit down without keeling over, but Cassian and Morrigan seemed to think she was just being defiant for no reason. They would run back to little Feyre and her insufferable husband, to report on her progress – or lack of it – and Nesta would undoubtedly lose something else. She didn’t see how things could get any worse, though, so it was a risk she was willing to take. 

After wiping herself down using a bucket and an absolutely minuscule lunch, she managed to force herself down to the library for a few hours of meaningless work. In her experience, things had always worked out better when she kept up appearances, and she mindlessly shelved books while she thought of ideas for petty revenge. Nothing was satisfying enough for how she’d been wronged, but it was the best she could do, so she forced herself to be content until her mind could conjure up something more satisfying.

Dinner was a lonely affair, made even worse when she gave in and asked the House for a glass of wine only for her requests to be filled with water instead. She’d progressed from nausea and tremors to feeling like she was going to crawl out of her body from how badly she needed a drink. Her skin felt hot and feverish, and she wasn’t sure she’d be able to make it downstairs to her bed without help. Not that she’d ever ask for help – she’d rather die before allowing anyone to see her at her weakest. 

She managed to choke down a couple bites of the food before pushing the plate away from her. It was pure torture getting back to her room, but at least the House provided her with a cool compress after she’d changed into a loose nightgown. She didn’t even have the energy to take her hair down, leaving most of the pins in as she laid down and focused on not dying.

Nesta’s days continued in much the same way. She barely slept from a combination of how ill she felt and the horrific memories she kept reliving, but she forced herself to keep going on half-cocked ideas of vengeance. Cassian forced her to eat breakfast in the mornings before they traveled to Illyria, and if he noticed how she had to force down every bite, he said nothing about it. Morrigan threw her dirty look after dirty look, sometimes paired with snarky comments, and it took every bit of awareness Nesta had not to loose her fire on the female. 

Nesta fought hard to stay upright and further embarrassed and infuriated Cassian in the process, ignoring every outstretched hand and motivating speech in favor of trying not to pass out. She could hardly stay on her feet during her hours in the library, but she never complained, not once. All the while, she felt close to death as her body purged whatever was left out of her system while struggling to maintain its grip on those silver flames coiled inside her.

After a week had passed, her overlords decided to grant her a day of rest. Cassian didn’t pound on her door threatening to drag her out of bed, and she was able to lounge in bed until nearly mid-morning. 

By the time Nesta made her way downstairs, the only sign of Cassian was a short note explaining that he’d left to handle something in Illyria. The break from physical training — or lack thereof — didn’t exempt her from her duties in the library, however, so she ate a few pieces of toast, freshened up, and eventually made her way downstairs. 

The other priestesses had long grown used to her silence, so she wasn’t bothered as she found her cart and began her familiar trek up and down the library’s halls. She was grateful for the lack of supervision; this was the one place she could practice the little bits of magic she’d picked up without anyone paying too close attention. She was terrified the House would alert someone what she was up to if she practiced there, and she wasn’t physically able to get to the much lesser-warded Velaris, so she made do with the time she had available. 

Nesta also wasn’t reckless enough to practice with her fire in the building, nervous that she’d lose control and manage to destroy priceless books in the process. She had to get the magic out somehow, though, so she’d done her own research on magical skills no one had bothered to tell her were important to learn. Instead of expelling a fiery blast like she really wanted to, she focused on what she’d read in one of the tomes last night about winnowing, squeezing her eyes shut while she visualized herself appearing in the next row of shelves. 

There was a muffled thump as the cart landed with her, but thankfully none of the books fell over. She had nothing else to practice her winnowing with, but she knew how imperative it was to be able to transport objects — and eventually living things — with her if she truly wanted to master the skill. She knew her true goal was to eventually leave Velaris, and perhaps bring Elain with her, but for now she was content with having her own method of transportation if she ever needed one. 

Besides, being able to escape at a moment’s notice was a pretty convenient trick to have up her sleeve. 

Nesta cleared her thoughts and bent down to inspect all the books on her cart for any damage, sighing in relief once she’d finished inspecting them. She meant to stand and keep returning books to their rightful place, but her fingers stilled as one of the titles on the bottom row of the nearest shelf caught her eye. 

She pulled it out, her eyebrows flicking up as she spied A History of the Hewn City written in emerald ink against an ink-black cover. Curious, she flipped through a few of the pages and realized she’d never seen anything like it, even though she’d heard many unpleasant tales about what the Court of Nightmares was like. She didn’t have time to read it as closely as she liked at the moment, but it was nothing to make the book disappear from her hands and take up residence inside her armoire instead. 

✵✵✵✵✵✵

Nesta had naively believed she couldn’t be more disgusted with the Inner Circle than she already was, but that was before she started reading into the histories. 

The authors were carefully neutral in their wording, but she’d long mastered the talent of reading between the lines. She wasn’t particularly surprised with how cruel and twisted things were for those unfortunate enough to be born inside the Hewn City, but for all their talk of being a Court of Dreamers, she couldn’t fathom how they allowed so much suffering under their watch. Surely Morrigan couldn’t have been the only person worth saving there. Surely Rhysand wanted to make sure no one suffered, especially not unnecessarily. 

Nesta wasn’t so arrogant as to automatically assume she would do a better job, but considering how Rhysand and Morrigan had done piss-poor jobs of managing the other half of their court, she supposed the bar wasn’t particularly high. They only seemed to bother with the Court of Nightmares when they wanted to rile Keir up — an idiotic idea, considering the Darksingers made up a not insignifant portion of Night’s armies — and things hadn’t changed in centuries. 

It was a dangerous idea, one that could get her killed, but she wasn’t afraid. She’d survived countless horrors already, had taken what she wanted from the Cauldron, even killed an ancient king; what challenge did Morrigan’s father present to her? 

Nesta wanted them to regret the moment they’d chosen to try and tame her like a dog. She wanted them to be afraid to even think her name, let alone utter it out loud. To not dare risk invoking her wrath the way they’d been terrified of Stryga or the Bone Carver or even Bryaxis. 

The Old Gods were all gone, anyway. It was high time for someone to take their place. 

Think of the looks on their faces, she thought once she’d turned out the lights. I wonder if they’ll try to teach me a lesson then. 

When Nesta finally slipped into unconsciousness, her dreams were filled with a crown of bones. 

✵✵✵✵✵✵

Once Nesta had settled on a way to make them pay, it was like a fire had been lit in her mind. She had somewhere to focus her energy other than simple bits of magic during her menial work in the library, and if Cassian noticed, he didn’t comment on it. 

Still, as motivated as she was toward her new goal, she knew she’d need help achieving it. She didn’t know the extent of her powers, too nervous to be caught testing their limits, and she didn’t remember the Hewn City well enough after just one visit to risk winnowing herself. She’d have to goad one of the Inner Circle members into taking her, and the only person she could think of fit for the task was difficult for Nesta especially to get a hold of. 

But just when Nesta wasn’t sure things would work out, she received a summons to the river house for a family breakfast. As irate as she was that Feyre didn’t think she’d meant it when she said she didn’t want to speak to her ever again, the more logical part of Nesta’s mind knew this was the best opening she could hope for. 

Morrigan wouldn’t pass up on the opportunity to lord her perfect, golden self over Nesta. If only she knew what doors she was about to open for the eldest Archeron. 

Nesta kept her mental shields pulled as tightly around her mind as she could once Cassian set her down in front of the estate’s overly grand entry. He looked like he hadn’t been sleeping well, but considering he hadn’t cared when she’d been the one with dark circles under her eyes, she couldn’t find any sympathy for him within her. 

“Good morning,” Feyre greeted them at the door with a smile. It dimmed considerably when she realized Nesta wasn’t really looking at her, but she carried on anyway. “Come in, come in, you must be starving!”

As if on cue, Cassian’s stomach rumbled. He stepped around Nesta and slung an arm around Feyre’s shoulders in a half-hug, the pair moving into the house while forgetting Nesta standing outside in the entryway. Typical.

She shut the door behind her and slowly made her way to the dining room, following the sound of voices to find most of their group assembled. Amren was thankfully nowhere to be found, but Rhysand and Morrigan were chatting happily at one end of the table while Azriel piled food onto his plate on the other. 

Nesta didn’t bother to hide her scowl once she realized the seating arrangements would force her to sit next to Cassian. They expected that from her, so she would play up her discomfort at sitting next to the hulking bat, deepen her frowns and sharpen her insults the moment it was her turn to put on a show. 

All the better to sate the dark, twisted thing inside her that wanted blood. 

Breakfast thankfully passed quickly enough, Nesta managing to eat some oatmeal in addition to her toast. For once, Cassian kept his comments about her eating habits to himself, though she certainly felt his eyes on her as she added some sugar to her tiny portion. She didn’t bother to acknowledge anyone at the table, least of all him, only murmuring her thanks to Azriel as he poured her another glass of water. 

By the time the rest of the group had eaten their fill, Nesta was nearly vibrating out of her skin with the need to get away. Azriel left a few minutes early after one of his shadows whispered something in his ear, and Rhysand, Feyre, and Cassian wandered off toward the outdoor patio, leaving Nesta and Morrigan alone for the first time in a long while. 

Nesta took a deep breath once she realized they were alone, smoothing her hands over the simple gray dress she’d chosen to wear today. It was still a little too loose around her frame, but that had been a calculated decision; if she looked too put-together, perhaps things wouldn’t play out the way she’d want them to. 

“You were quiet for once,” Morrigan commented as she conjured up a flute of wine sparkling with more bubbles than Nesta had ever seen before. “Have you learned your lesson about keeping your forked tongue between your teeth?”

Nesta clenched her hands into fists to avoid doing something she shouldn’t — drinking, using her power on Morrigan, getting up and walking away forever. “I don’t recall needing to learn any lessons, Morrigan.”

“Always so formal,” Morrigan replied with a snort. She tipped some orange juice into her flute and downed half the drink at once. “Mhmm. I would offer you some, but…”

“I prefer my drinks untouched,” Nesta responded, looking over Morrigan with thinly-veiled disdain. “I’m sure you understand.”

“And here I thought beggars couldn’t be choosers,” Morrigan said with a sharp smile. 

Nesta took a deep breath and forced herself not to rise to the bait. She needed Morrigan on this more than she needed to respond to the other female’s barb; this could just be another transgression on the list. 

“Amren said it would be better to throw me into the Court of Nightmares,” Nesta eventually said, her voice the perfect mix of accusatory and irate. Her feelings for Morrigan were no secret, and there was certainly no love lost in return; she was the best candidate for what Nesta needed done, so Nesta could only hope Morrigan’s disdain for her would be enough to set the wheels in motion. 

“We all heard,” Morrigan responded warily. She narrowed her brown eyes into slits, as if she expected Nesta to lash out at her over it. “What about it?”

“Do you still agree with that assessment?”

“I do.”

“So take me there and be done with it.”

Morrigan raised a golden eyebrow. “You want me to put you down there?”

“Better there than the human lands,” Nesta answered, keeping her voice flat and cold. All the better for Morrigan to make her own assumptions about Nesta’s motivations. “I’m done with this charade.”

“You’ll fit in perfectly,” Morrigan answered with a cold smile. She pushed back her chair and stood as she added, “In fact, I’ll take you down there right now.”

Read Chapter Two Here!

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[the-kittylorian-writes]

Today in I should be having lunch but I wrote this instead:

Now that we’re done with ANDOR’s second three-episode arc…

Possibly a number of viewers would keep believing that the show is going at a snail’s pace and all its moving parts are still clicking into place, and we are already six episodes in.

But ANDOR really is different in tone, mood, and in its overall storytelling. It digs deeper into every explorable crevice (sounds gross but yea) rather than pushes linearly, which has been the style of classic novels (like—no surprise, Victor Hugo’s LES MISÉRABLES.) It moves like those novels that explore a person’s eye twitch in five paragraphs before moving on to describing the cold somber afternoon and its townspeople in another twenty before we can even get to some discernible dialogue.

It’s definitely not for everyone, especially those who lead busy lives and love the rush of everyday fastness and snappiness. The culture behind ANDOR is distinct from the culture behind THE MANDALORIAN, for example. ANDOR is ponderous and psychological on the get-go while THE MANDALORIAN is striking and exciting with its straightforward elements. Both have their strengths and weaknesses.

The Rebellion had a philosophy and a common cause which glued the alliance together, and seemingly for ANDOR, what starts as a common hate for the Empire slowly becomes open concern and love for a fellow “struggler,” and in a wider search for every one of these strugglers, no matter the origins, status, and species (where are the Bothans and their spies? Coming soon to an episode near you? Lol), the Alliance was born.

I won’t go into further tirade about how ANDOR is both flashy and deliberately crawling at the same time, but the show is unmistakably something that can make one think if they allow a space opera fantasy to. STAR WARS means differently to different people, and ANDOR goes into a discussion of the heart, mind, and spirit—in all its pragmatism and idealism—which ignited the Rebellion against a huge, galactic Evil still lurking in the shadows, a machine fed by the resigned and the ambitious.

I really hope ANDOR doesn’t let the fans as a whole down in the end! 🥲For me, this seems like a good thing to get the franchise back on track, and by the gods I will check out once I see a flock of shiny vespas on a planet other than Coruscant or Nar Shaddaa whiz over to Cassian and the gang to the rescue. I’m kidding. Or not. 😅😅

SPOILERS: Cassian began to believe the moment he took Nemik’s manifesto book… and he must have kept it for a long time.

[jyndor]

I don’t know what other people are saying, but I was thinking Syril has a better chance of becoming a spy or ~something (not necessarily a rebel) purely based on interviews from the actor who plays him and Tony Gilroy. Dedra I think is a true believer tho. What’s important to note though is that the show is going to have two seasons, and apart from Cassian and Mon Mothma, I think anyone could end up anywhere.

so idk what Kyle Soller or Tony Gilroy said but now I'm curious. brb

okay so I saw some stuff people have said about him, and basically it kind of confirms what I believe - that he is a prime target for fascist propaganda, and that everything he presents to us at this moment is ripe for being radicalized in a very right-wing way because he isn't critical of the system like Nemik is, or even like Cassian is, he is frustrated and downwardly mobile but not concerned with the system so much as he is concerned with his place in it. Denise said something like, he wants to improve his station - so he might not be an ideologue in the way that Dedra or Nemik are (with like manifestos not that they are the same lol), but to me his ideology is just... like a normal, ignorant marginally conservative person. And over the past few decades conservatives in my country at least but a lot of other countries too have mostly devolved into fascists.

i also saw that Tony wasn't sure if Syril was going to go bad or good, juxtaposed with how Dedra was ALWAYS going to be imperial. i mean bear in mind that originally Cassian was actually an imperial spy (lol thank god that changed) in rogue one so things do change over time in development, but yeah I can understand the urge to show the prime target for fascist propaganda breaking out of that mindset and becoming a revolutionary but I also feel like that would veer into ironically the lazy, easy choice.

here's why I believe that Syril should go down the fascist rabbit hole and be radicalized, and more importantly why I don't want to see him become a spy for the rebels:

we've seen it before. I don't think we need another imperial realizing that the empire is evil, especially not when he looks like that. he is coded as a nazi's ideal kind of guy, save for maybe the brown hair. I think it would be far more realistic to have someone turn who is likely to struggle within the framework of an imperial regime (someone like say gorn - it cannot be a coincidence that he is played by a dark skinned Black man - I know that isn't the reason why he turned against the Empire but I mean... his lover was from Aldhani, non-human, and his story is dealing with genocide and bigotry).

I think there is a chance to show how someone who isn't the "ideal" in an imperial context doubles down on their ideology in spite of whatever bigotry and challenges they might experience (dedra) versus how it might actually open someone's eyes to the whole system's rotten core and brutality (gorn). instead of dedra having empathy for anyone else, she sees her disadvantages as a personal challenge, not the failing of a system. this is like how white women have often defended white supremacy in order to protect ourselves from the true enemy, capitalist patriarchy and colonialism (because the white supremacist colonial view of gender is what harms us). dedra meero is that to a t. and we should all remember that as we watch her navigate a system that is not super friendly to her, but that she can ultimately use against others to her own benefit.

this is why I think blevin might actually be a spy. sure, it could be the same thing - someone who clearly has experienced a similar sort of disadvantage in the isb and has learned how to work within it. of course he may not be a spy but like, lol idk I just something set off my spidey senses.

honestly most cops are conservative/a lot are fascist, and they are class traitors by default so I don't really need to see another cop deciding that the system is wrong. it just feels like... idk it gives me a bad taste in my mouth. I don't have a problem with him having conflicting feelings about shit because that is how people work, we aren't just mindless zombies, but without critical thinking people do just end up accepting what authorities say without questioning them and their intentions.

but also of course they may go in the direction of him turning anti-fascist, I just think that would be a little unrealistic and a bit cheap, especially when you've got nemik talking about ground-up organizing and so much emphasis on indigenous rights, colonialism and genocide.

I would honestly be disappointed if they took him in that direction, as opposed to keeping him as a foil for cassian and how he's "radicalizing" (personally i feel like cassian andor should always be anti-imperialist and anti-fascist, but whether or not he's read theory like mr karis marx over here okay sure fine whatever he can read some theory i guess). it's already very easy for white audiences to empathize with a character like syril karn, even though he's a racist and a piece of shit, and I just feel like white audiences would expect him to end up a good guy because that's what always, always happens in copaganda and shit.

anyway I guess my thing is, anon, and I'm not saying to you so much as to people in general, we as viewers of a show like this (but of any content imo) should examine our initial reactions to characters and events to figure out why we have them. why are so many people stanning and woobifying syril karn? he's hot, okay but like everyone's hot in this show lol. why him? is it because perhaps a certain percentage of the audience is going to automatically relate to a white character over someone coded as non-white? is it because it feels better to like a character who feels familiar - maybe who reminds us of ourselves or our friends and family?*

and is that why there is such a need for this guy to be good when every indicator in the show right now is that he is going to be very, very bad? maybe it makes us feel better about the cops in our families, our friend groups, etc? maybe it makes us feel like it's alright to "agree to disagree" with people who excuse or outright support MAGA and Trump and the GOP, even though it puts other people at risk?

we're so used to seeing the renegade cop in stories about an abusive system, that it's easy to think that is reality when it is NOT. that guy went into police work for a reason, even if his uncle harlo thinks he wasn't cut out for it. maybe he'll be a white ally idk lol i bet they would do it well enough i just feel like that would be a very tone deaf thing to do and also a stupid trope i've seen a million times.

*not me lol I am not a cop and don't know any well, and I have blue eyes and am pasty but that's it. kyle is cool though i like that guy when i saw him with his red hair and mountain man beard i was like ???? man they really fashed him up LOL

[offtorivendell]

Why do Gwynriels think the BC is good for their ship?! Like 90% is talking about how much he wants Elain then the other part is her weird powers lol. What am I missing???

Hi Anon,

So I can acknowledge that some people might find the last part of Azriel's bonus chapter as hinting at a GxA romance when taken on it's own - though I agree that it would be A Choice to make the swap to G at the end of a bonus chapter that 1. centred around Elain, and Azriel's desire for her, and 2. was only available from an obscure US bookseller that it seems not even most Americans have heard of (and is only available in one or two languages!) - but I still don't think that it hints at GxA when read in context of ACOSF as a whole, let alone the entire ACOTAR series (though of course, I could always be wrong).

This post is also not intended to judge anyone who prefers the pairing - it's all subjective, you do you.

In terms of G being a lightsinger... if she is, I suspect she's just a baby lightsinger, and possibly doesn't even know what her powers are just yet - she thinks she's part river nymph, which she may still be, but that could also be a cover she was fed as a child for her own safety - and as I've said before, I don't think lightsingers are inherently evil. SJM loves to subvert the monster trope, for one, and two, given the political upheaval that occurred when the High King Fionn was overthrown all those centuries ago, if the lightsingers were involved with the plot against him, whatever it may have been, then I could see them being ostracised and targeted for retribution in the years since. What Cassian told us may have been a twisted narrative of what lightsingers truly are.

I'm a subscriber to the theory that Elain could be a lightsinger, which is described in detail in this post by @wingedblooms, or a lifesinger, as explained by @silverlinedeyes. I also think other lightsingers may live in the library - including, possibly, Clotho and Merrill - so I'm not sure G would be "unique" in that regard, if she's truly more than a faerie with river nymph heritage.

Given the light and shadow dynamics, and Elain's link with both:

Could Elain be light and dark = grey?

There are so many unanswered questions from the first trilogy.

Are Azriel's shadows only dark, or is dark light just one shade that the "shadows" can take on/give out? Could they actually exist on a scale, from dark through neutral/invisible all the way to golden sunlight?

Are shadowsingers and lightsingers the same thing, or even inherently linked* somehow?

Is the shade of the "shadow" magic controlled by mood, maybe like a patronus charm?*

How does Truth-Teller fit in?

* I have so many questions, and I do mean to write a theory about all of this, but my motivation and time have been lacking for a while. 🥲

As I've said a few times before, I don't know why we would have anyone other than Elain Archeron be the character involved with the mystery of the shadows.

In terms of the image of Gwyn's teal eyes sparking in Azriel's chest, I wouldn't be surprised to learn that it was Clotho who sparked Gwyn's image, maybe with the help of a spelled song from all of the priestesses singing in the cavern below, especially because we know Azriel speaks the language of stone. Could the mountain in/from which the House of Wind is built somehow be taking on the magic of the priestesses' songs and passing it on to Azriel?

There's a lot of possibilities beyond a GxA romance being hinted at, imo, in the last part of Azriel's bonus chapter. Not to mention, Elriel have got it bad!

[bookofmirth]

I'm sorry, but I just saw someone say that they're glad Nesta has a friend in Gwyn and then they go on in the same sentence to say Gwyn in a Lightsinger that is going to betray everyone so that's why e//riel isn't going to happen. So your willing to let Nesta be betrayed by the one real and true friend she has made on her own and that helped her heal and go through an incredible journey--because there just can't be any way gwynriel was built up at all and could possibly be a thing and it's only ever been e//riel the whole time that's been slow burning.

It just frustrates me to see people pit friends against each other (nesta and gwnyn and even emerie) because it just debases the entire valkyrie story line that they say they love so much. Fine, be e//riel but why does gwyn have to be a lightsinger then?? she can go off with balthazar or be by herself because she can. she can be a strong independent woman without betraying the people she loves and who love her. I just. sigh.

Sorry. I needed to rant to someone.

but howwwww lol

Do people not realize that Gwyn being evil, even if it's through no fault of her own, completely undermines the friendships in acosf? The friendships that were just as, if not more important to Nesta's healing as her romantic relationship with Cassian? Maybe acosf was a shoddily-built house but I don't think sjm is going to completely bulldoze it, especially if that would put Nesta's growth back at square one...

Also, I'll be the first to say it publicly, but sjm's villains SUCK because they are so two-dimensional, they have zero personality, their motivations don't make sense, they are just Evil. That automatically disqualifies Gwyn from ever being evil just for the simple fact that she already has a personality.

[vidalinav]

Burning Questions I Still Have:

You know SJM really hasn’t given us too much substance in these book talks so I’m just going to put down these questions as my own way of expanding the topic of the book beyond Eris, Azriel, and the copious amount of sex they’re going to have (Nesta and Cassian) though all of that is very exciting. 

1. How much does Mor factor into this story? Are we going to see her at all or would she be more focused in on an Azriel story if we get one? 

2. Does Elain have any say in sending Nesta away? Will she have some involvement in Nesta’s healing? Will we see her in Illyria, visiting her sister perhaps, or will it be short instances? 

3. Does Nesta make new friends? Assumedly she does, but right now it’s looking very established character centric, but you know with these lack of spoilers. (rolls eyes)

4. Will the witch concept brought up in ACOWAR come up in ACOSF? Is Nesta technically a witch? Because her power extends beyond her natural reserve “technically.” Will we see other witches? Witches vs Illyrians... Maybe?

5. What is the main conflict in Illyria? And how will it be resolved? So far we know it has something to do with rebellion, but how do you fix that realistically? 

6. How will the women in Illyria gain some autonomy, because lets be honest, everyone learning to fight is and is not going to fix everything? 

7. Where is Bryaxis? 

8. Eris has a deal with Rhysand to help him kill his father. How would that work? Does it involve Nesta, does this then involve her more in the Inner Circle’s antics in which she’ll gain a job in some way? Whether she wants to or not. 

9. How does Nesta suffer? We know emotionally, yes. Power, yes. But how does that come about when there’s so much potential conflict in this book. 

10. What is the main conflict of this story? There seems to be many, that I’m sure will be extended to the other books that come out, but to what to extent does this book extend to the others. Will we see all of the same characters in the books after this one? 

11. Eris’s mom and Helion; Helion and Lucien. Enough said. 

12. Nesta dealing with her father’s death. 

13. Cassian’s mom, who is supposedly dead. (Jury is still out on that one; no dead body, no dead)

14. What’s that shadowy evil substance that Mor discovers by her estate?

15. Will Mor get a story? Especially since if she does then she’d be the first LGBTQ character from the SJM universe to have their own book... I think. Don’t quote me on that. But she’s got a lot to deal with too and I think she deserves a book. She’s a very interesting character. She reminds me of a mixture between Aelin and Bryce and the more secretive aspects of Nesta. 

16. Will Elain ever get a mate or significant other? Honestly, I’m on the fence with this. Mostly because one, Elain is purely side-character to me. She’s interesting, but not enough right now to warrant a whole book. I also just think that right now she’s kind of useless, and I don’t mean that to be mean, I just mean that she doesn’t have a purpose yet and most of her personality right now is purely fodder. It’s her main personality I say. Maybe not the honest to god deep one, but she’s got at least the surface level personality with hints of iceberg feelings. 

Interestingly enough it makes more sense I think to have the next book centered on Lucien and Azriel if they’re going to settle that conflict. Even though I hate love triangles in any sense, but none of them love each other right now anyways... And I think that it would be hard to figure out these three relationships when they’re already linked together in ACOWAR and ACOFAS. 

17. Will we ever know why Amren and Nesta got into a fight? Will their relationship be fixed? Also where she at in this whole conflict of interest that is this book and Nesta being sent away? Will we see her often? 

18. Will Rhysand have a good amount of time in this book? What is his involvement with Nesta--his sister-in-law lol? Will their relationship reach some level of understanding? Will they hate each other for ever? Will they have some semblance of mutual respect and a common denominator that is the love for Feyre and their protectiveness for their family? 

19. What are Cassian’s conflicts? To be quite honest, I feel this book is very Nesta centric, and I do hope that Cassian is not just thrown in there for romance and that’s it. BUT we know the Illyrian conflict, the Mor/Azriel conflict, the issue with being born a bastard, not belonging with his people. The Nesta conflict, the war probably. But like besides Nesta, all of these conflicts have existed for as long as he’s lived. So is that really a conflict or an issue to be dealt with... A lot of this will be resolved through the “Powers of Love” lol and whatever else they can do in Illyria, but then what else? Internally, I don’t feel he has too much to deal with because well... a lot of his problems center around other people. 

20. What will Feyre being doing? Let me be honest, I don’t like the thought of Feyre being pregnant. I understand her body her choice, but this girl literally went from let’s spend time with each other to let’s have a baby, because maybe it won’t happen in a few hundred years. But let’s be honest, if I was her I would not be thinking that it would happen in a few hundred years. Things happen in the most inconvenient times, and right now with all this, it’s very inconvenient. I also think I really don’t like it because right now she is really playing into that role of a wife and not as everything we know her as. I mean she’s allowed to relax, to be loved and what not, but I don’t know. Lame, I think, that she became high lady in name, but probably not in any sort of empowerment way, and I think that’s sad because she could do an awful lot of good, and should do it, because right now her court has soooooo many issues, even issues that Rhys kind of just puts in the back burner and hopes for the best. She is the equal to Rhys, but so far she’s not seeming so equal and she also seems to have lost some purpose. So I’m also wondering if this want of a child and planning for it is Feyre’s way of being useful again... because she spent so much of her life taking care of other people. Which again..... ehhhhhh. 

21. What the f*** are Nesta’s powers? What do they do? I hope it does not end in some vague inclination like Mor’s truth power whatever. But like, she should be all powerful, death god status. I want to see Nesta as the goddess she is. 

22. Koschei??? The stealer of the hero’s wife or whatever as he’s referenced in Russian lore... I think? Is he going to be more involved in Vassa, or Elain even (because Elain right now has always been the damsel) or Nesta, because of the queens and “their powerful ally.” Wouldn’t he be the best teacher for Nesta’s power really, when he’s a powerful sorcerer in the book/death god that has worshippers and what not and collects women.   

>>> My theory is that if Elain and Lucien are the next pov’s then maybe Nesta will be kidnapped by Koschei at the end, and Elain gets to really show what she’ll do for her family, and what she’s made of. But it also keeps the story going without cutting it off completely, and we keep the bigger conflict which is that there’s a whole world of problems and rulers and that Nesta’s story can’t really end at this book, because again she’s suppose to be all-powerful, cauldron incarnate, the wind has heard of her, spreading the news around, and that she does need to learn her powers and I doubt anyone can really teach her, but she for sure probably can’t teach her self. 

23. Will the love triangle situation not be between Elain, Lucien, and Azriel, but Vassa, Elain, and Lucien, or maybe a love square like A Midsummer Night’s Dream? That would be kinda cool. I just don’t really know if Azriel will be a love interest for Elain, even if he has that fondness for her. Azriel has a lot of problems, but he’s also like... I don’t know. Off topic. 

24. The Queens--what the hell? What about that one who turned old and is now immortal? They were chilling in Vassa’s kingdom. Where are they so Nesta can beat their asses? Also, these human kingdoms--what? What are they doing now that their queens are just in hiding and that allied with Hybern to be fae? Do they know? 

25. Magical humans--fae blood sometimes trickle into human lines from that one fae whoever she is. Doubt she’s the only one. Probably will have magical humans, realistically. 

26. Vassa--all of Vassa. Maybe Vassa and Mor.... You never know. I doubt they’ll get that curse reversed and she’ll be completely human, so maybe she’ll a be a shifter of a sort. If I can remember she’s like the only successful experiment. So maybe she got some fae blood and she can live for a long time and can be with Mor. I certainly hope Mor does not give up her immortality for her love interest, which I’m assuming you can do like in TOG. 

27. The fae kingdoms, that conflict needs be somewhat resolved. Doubtful. There’s three main ones I think. No one’s been signing treaties. How? That is all. 

28. Azriel powers, shadows, how did that happen? Does it elude to something bigger. 

29. Cassian’s background. Who the hell is he? Will we know papa? Mama? Past? He’s the most powerful Illyrian commander, he can’t be normal. The laws of fiction dictate otherwise. 

30. Last names? Middle names? Titles. Give me everything Sara. 

31. Eris. After daddy is dead, what next? Is his conflict so small and easily taken care of. He is very interesting to me. 

32. Did they actually take care of the cauldron? Miriam and Draken, will we see them again and their ideal world? 

33. Will Nesta travel? Because she should. She deserves to, it was her plan in ACOTAR, but then she stayed, and now she’s a shell. Please have Nesta see the world. With Cassian or without. Don’t care. Maybe both. 

34. How is a treaty going to be established, when humans hate fae, fae enslave humans, and the fact that there is so much more than fae that exist as we know????? Hmmm???

35. Oh Tamlin! Where he at? What he been doing? How will he help this conflict? Assuming he’s probably going to factor more in Lucien’s story, I’m almost positive he’s the next POV. It wouldn’t make sense otherwise to my fanfic writer/ obsessive reader brain.  

36. The objective of different worlds. I know SJM probably won’t get into it too much and it would probably be very complicated, but other worlds. Are people still coming in? Do some want to leave? Is it easy to travel between them--provided you know how? *whispers* can Nesta do this?

37..... I don’t know. I will add more if I can think of any, because I probably can. Honestly this was like therapy and made me feel so much better than any of SJM’s lives about the future of this series.

38. ADD YOUR OWN; unless I wrote almost everything. But doubtful!

[lectophile]

I think everyone got the whole three faced goddess for ACOTAR all wrong.

The three faced goddess was often also associated with Persephone, Demeter, and Hecate.

Persephone is the maiden — as is Feyre.

Persephone is forced to live half her life in the human world and half her life in the underworld. Feyre is known as the High Lady with the human heart.

Persephone is queen of the underworld. Feyre is high lady of the night court, and of the court of nightmares.

Persephone was abducted by Hades. Rhys is seen in Prythian (by those that don't know him) as the high lord of the night court, which to them is the court of  nightmares. Though Feyre went on her own accord, Tamlin believed Feyre was abducted by Rhys through mind games.

Rhys even told Feyre that he felt that the mating bond made him seem like the evil man that took the bride of spring. Persephone is associated with spring due to being the personification of vegetation. Associated with spring, Feyre being called the bride of spring. Idk, maybe a reach but I saw it.

Demeter is the mother — as is Elain.

The Olympian goddess of harvest and agriculture. Elain loves to garden and is known as the gardening sister with a very skilled ability with most kinds of gardens.

Demeter is also seen as the harvest-mother. And I think we can all agree that Elain does give off (atm) an especially mother-like countenance with her kind character. I always felt that if the three Archeron sisters had been allowed to be humans their entire lives, Elain would have been the first to settle down and have lots of children. So idk why but the idea of her being a harvest-mother is especially fitting in my mind.

Demeter is associated with the earth goddess Gaia through her association with the goddess Cybele. Elain seems to be the most in tune with the earth, with her love for gardening and her seeming perfectly fitting personality and character in the spring court, which is all about nature and flowers and life.

Demeter also invoked the guise of Thermasia, who is a symbol of warmth, and I think that we all agree that SJM has painted Elain as someone drawn to warmth. She looks great in pastel colors and warm pinks and reds—not so much in dark, cool colors like black.

And then we have Hecate as the crone — as is Nesta (which we all knew).

Hecate is seen as the goddess of necromancy (*cough* *cough* mask) and the moon. I already alluded to the necromancy, but the moon—more specifically its cycle—is associated with rebirth of the soul. Nesta’s soul was reborn as that of an ancient death goddess when she was Made.

Hecate was drawn and protected those shunned, ostracized, and less conventional people like her. Nesta was drawn to Emerie and Gwynn. Also, she did as much as she could for the priestesses in the library through her trying to get them to join the training with Cassian. 

Hecate is often seen carrying twin flames mounted on torches. Nesta’s power was death in the form of cold fire which was often seen with a glimpse from her eyes—twin flames.

Hecate is known for and associated with witchcraft. I think we all remember Nesta’s iconic “I’m a witch” lines throughout ACOWAR/ACSF.

Hecate is also believed to have the power to speak with spirits, ghosts, and such; she also helped Persephone adjust to her life in the underworld and was therefore believed to possibly carry the power to help people transition into their next lives. I think we see this somewhat during the birth scene in ACSF when Nesta stops time to prevent death from taking Feyre to her next life.

I just always got an off feeling with Feyre being the mother just because I didn’t see anything other than her actually being a mother and being pregnant that could make her fitting for the association with the mother. It’s okay if you all disagree, I’m just reading into greek mythology and felt the need to write this small report on this “text to world” (lol) connection I made.

[elriell]

Putting my shipper goggles off for a moment, I have a feeling that the background plot for the next book will somehow involve illyrian society reshaping or changing. With Gwyn and Emerie being the first women to ever to touch the top of the mountain, the Valkyrie stuff, but I also keep thinking about how cassian said that azriel would rather destroy Illyria than save it. I don’t think that was just an innocent line - I feel like we might see azriel’s interal struggle over Illyria in whatever changes happen.

Ummm, I kind of respectfully disagree 100%. For a multitude of reasons, first and foremost being we already know what the conflict is/who the antagonist is... It is the big bad Kos. This is guaranteed, so I don’t see why they would need to even further complicate the main plot.

Not to mention there wasn’t any real mentions of Illyria or anything to give us that vibe outside the girls and the blood rite. The uprising was quelled in 0.2 seconds, and I don’t think that line means much for the immediate future.

There is way too much to overcome outside of Illyrians. And honestly if we barely saw in Cassian’s POV I can’t see her focusing on it in a big way for Az.

I would love for him to come to terms with his people and if he could do it through Emerie especially that would be amazing. Although I feel like it would need to be a central plot line (like we thought ACOSF would be) because there is so much there... Their treatment of woman and old ways. It is way to much to pile on top of evil queens and death gods... 

Yeah, I just can’t see it. I thought it was pretty unanimous that the next book follows the same villain. 

But thats just me lol

[verifiefangirl]

Az thinks Nesta is gonna be the one that freaks out (as long as he treats her right she’s fine with it) but it’s actually Feyre. He has never been more scared of his high lady than the moment she caught him in bed with Elain ~ stars-falling

Shadow ties 

Sorry lol I know you said bed! But I just thought it would be more comical this way! 

They would think they had the house to themselves when Elain gets that evil glint in her eye. 

It would start off as an innocent wing brush that would turn into a tortured groan. 

As more and more layers came off between them, right there in Azriel’s office. He had been trying to get some work done before his teasing moonflower came in. 

She had bound his hands, with his own shadows! They were enamoured with her just as much as he was. 

Raising havoc on his sense. She caressed his truthteller at his hip before dislodging the legendary blade and placing it against the holster on her thigh, where her own blade usually sat. 

Whispering words of worship as she rucked her skirts around her hips and straddled him on the chair. 

His tunic long gone, pants unbound and hair dishevelled. His lust lidded eyes would drink her in. 

Not completely discarding her gown but pulling her breast free so his mouth could toy with them.

She would control the tempo of their joining and it was the best kind of pain. 

He was in mid-pleasure, shouting some filthy nonsense to Elain when Feyre walked in. 

“Fuck.” He would curse as her eyes would widen at the scene.  Covered in numerous bites and scratches. He looked as if he had gone to war with a wildcat. 

She looked like she couldn’t decide on whether to ooggle or cover her face.  

Az has been walking on eggshells since his family found out about Elain and him

He couldn’t bare to look Feyre in the eye anymore after she caught their salacious afternoon. 

Az handing Rhysand his weekly reports but then noping out of there as soon as he sees Feyre. 

If he thought she paid attention to his interactions with Elain before. She had laser eyes on them. 

Him gently putting his hand on Elain’s lower back to inform her of his presence while he reached around to grab a piece of her amazing baked goods. Feyre releasing a strangled sound at the display.

Elain rubbing his tensed shoulders on the couch, Feyre looking like she was watching some sort of porn.

Cassian would cackle with delight whenever Az started sweating at his High Lady’s inquisition. 

His Highlady didn’t deserve to be put through seeing him like that. Bound and needy and she especially didn’t want to know how kinky the couple liked to be. 

Rhys would smirk at him pride every time he saw Az with Elain because no one really knew what kind of lovers Az took or what kind of lover he was. 

Everyone was relishing in his fuck up since he was like the golden child that could do no wrong compared to Mor and Cassian. 

She cornered him after his training session, sweating and flushed. It was like she was taken back to that afternoon seeing him in that state.

“What’s the kinkiest thing you and my sister have done?” The question was made more unnerving with her unflinching stare and a blank face. 

His wings would rustle anxiously. 

He would look around for some way out of this situation but there was none. 

Sucking it up, he would rub the back of his neck and whisper it in her ear. The screech of delight and disgust his highlady would let out was enough to alert the whole of Velaris. 

Taglist

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[skyefullofdaisies]

I got sucked into ACOSF Book-Tok and it really surprised the amount of hate on there. Everyone brags how positive, peaceful & friendly BookTok is but it’s really pretty toxic in a lot of ways?? Especially depending on the book series that is being discussed. Anyway, I’m so tired of seeing Elain dragged through the mud of ACOTAR-tok. Everyone is so hateful towards her character.

“She’s so boring. She’s one dimensional. She needs to be killed off. She isn’t good enough for Lucien!!” Etc etc.

Of course she comes across as boring. She’s, basically, a background character in the entire series since the first 3 books are about Feyre. The 4th is mostly about Feyre and Nesta’s bitchy self. The 5th is all about Nesta so Elain hasn’t even BEGUN to be fleshed out yet. Plus the amount of hate from the Lucien stans for Elain because she doesn’t want him is unreal. When Nesta didn’t want Cassian no one was tearing her up for it. Elain associates Lucien with her trauma. Associates him with losing her human life and fiancée. Her not wanting anything to do with him isn’t surprising. I don’t like that Lucien stans are pretty much trying to force him on her or she’s just trash. That’s gross and almost like forcing Rhys to be mates with Amarantha. Not quite because the situations aren’t the same but there are some comparisons there. Elain has made her feelings clear which is why I’d like to see the popular Evil!Elain theory happen or show what rejecting the mating bond does with Elucian. I write this here because when I put my thoughts on Tik Tok some Lucien stans/Elain haters had a shit fit in the replies to my comment until I just deleted the entire damn thing to get them to shut tf up about, lol

[vaguely-concerned]

I am reading the Rogue One visual guide and I’m going to ramble at you about it

Starting with Baze and Chirrut facts because nothing is more important than Baze and Chirrut

- The Guardians of the Whills believe very deeply in the Force but their cosmology doesn’t center any fight between light and dark and they believe mortal minds can ‘encompass the totality of the Force’ with the right training (seemingly even for non-Force sensitives). *thinks of a little green baby who’s going to need some help with his place in the universe one day and how reductive the light/dark side dichotomy can be* good to know good to know. yes everything eventually comes down to baby yoda and his poor stressed out dad. protect them

- “Opposites in balance. Chirrut Îmwe and Baze Malbus share a homeworld and a history, although they strike a compelling contrast. Baze is a hardened pragmatist, while Chirrut’s faith flourishes even in trying times. They both claim to act as the protector of the other.” 

in every way they are #goals. bffs/partners to lovers is Everything. ‘They both claim to act as the protector of the other’ is very funny and very sweet and very true; my favourite thing

- this book describes chirrut as baze’s ‘best friend and moral compass’, which is a funny way of spelling ‘husband of 30 years’ but who am I to criticize 

- baze is just. he’s so good. they say here pragmatism is his biggest trait but you can tell how much love has been at the center of him (and probably continues to be under it all) from the totality of his rage. I don’t think you can be this deeply hurt without loving just as deeply first. (like chirrut says, he used to believe more than anyone and now he’s thrown aside literally everything about the guardians except chirrut) it’s like he’s suffered a moral wound just seeing what’s happened to his home and it won’t heal and it never does, he just loses chirrut too and then at least it’s over. jesus christ it’s so soul crushingly sad in a quiet undramatic way 

- “Though both are Guardians of the Whills, Baze and Chirrut could not be more different in their approach to combat. Traditionalist Chirrut still carries weapons associated with the ancient order, while Baze adopts an implement of modern warfare. Their methods suit them individually, and both are effective extensions of their distinctive personalities. Though Baze may chide Chirrut for his antiques, and Chirrut may decry Baze’s reliance on soulless tools, they trust each other’s defences to such weapons.”

THEY TRUST EACH OTHER’S DEFENCES TO SUCH WEAPONS. YOU HAD TO WORD IT LIKE THAT HUH. YOU HAD TO GO AND MAKE IT CLEAR THEY’RE EACH OTHER’S MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WHOLE WORLD. WHAT. THE FUCK

- it’s implied baze’s hair used to be shorter when he was a Guardian! he’s just let it grow past what’s customary for them (and an excellent choice too his hair is wonderful)

- his repeating blaster is described as ‘modified and highly illegal’ hahaha

it also weighs 30 kg and is meant to be mounted on a tank

baze is the best

- chirrut built his own lightbow! apparently used to be a thing the guardians did to symbolize the end of their training. I wonder if baze used to have one too? even more I wonder if they’ve always been part of the same uh ‘divisions’ or what have you within the guardians, because I think there are some implications that baze has been more of an assassin/focused on violent conflicts even before the empire came and chirrut hasn’t

- this book does not adequately capture chirrut’s trickster/funny side, making me wonder how much of that was an addition by the actor and how much was planned out

- honestly... more baze & chirrut (well baze/chirrut let’s not play here) prequel books WHEN. what does their living room look like (because we do know they live together) how did they meet, when exactly did baze lose his faith and chirrut his sight, what was their first kiss like 

inquiring minds want to know (it’s me I want to know) 

- unless the wording is deliberately misleading here chirrut was not born blind (though he won’t discuss how he ended up this way) and he’s learned his current fighting technique over a prolonged period of time 

- bodhi is a bit of a gambling addict! and specifically one who’s pretty good at it; even after the empire knows he’s a defector he gets past their restrictions because he’s saved up all the credits/favours/even id-vouchers he’s owed by other imperial grunts fsdhfksdjf precious I love him 

- saw gerrera’s medical droid a) has been modified so its programming won’t stop it from being able to dispense drugs at dangerous intervals, b) professes sheer bafflement that saw is still alive and c) is ‘frequently deactivated to prevent it from building an ethical case to discontinue treatment’. I find the whole thing darkly hilarious.  

- there are literally whole subplots going on in the crowd scenes on Jedha about a mad evil surgeon who ‘decraniates’ people (essentially turning them into mindless servile husks with all of their head above the nose cut off, somehow), a masked cop from the Milvayne Authority who’s gone rogue to do the right thing and hunt him down against orders, a death cult, a bunch of different religious sects, a translation droid who has befriended a group of local orphans and shares his credits with them so they can eat and he’s SAVING UP FOR A PROCESSOR UPGRADE SO HE CAN BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND THE NATURE OF SPIRITUALITY ;_____; what the fuck I want a tv-series about this droid IMMEDIATELY 

- this book shows you just how crucial K-2 is as an asset and what a masterstroke cassian’s reprogramming of him is... and it says some very, very sweet things about cassian as a person under all the trauma and spy stuff that he essentially treats him as his best friend instead of a tool. cASSIAN he deserved to survive and have SO much therapy ;_____; ah well at least we’re getting a prequel series about him right? pls be good

- oh cassian was a proper separatist during the clone wars! he probably has some very interesting points of view about the republic pre- and post empire huh (this is what I love about the clone wars era; they have built SUCH a believable and interesting political world here, all shades of grey. there were separatists with very valid points even thought they were lead by a guy named COUNT DOOKU played by CHRISTOPHER LEE, the first sign that you should look inwards and ask yourself... wait are we the bad guys)

- it’s so much more understandable to me now who in the rebel leadership is for following jyn’s plan and who is not. (namely: the ministers of finance and industry are both Not Into challenging the empire directly, kind of understandably)

in depth description of weapons technology... I sleep. deep dives into the political structure of the alliance leadership and their backgrounds and motivations? I have never been happier

(this. sort of should have been in the actual movie tho things would have made more sense)

- BAIL ORGANA Leia’s actual dad out there lookin’ fiiine, being righteous and good, almost making me forget he’s going to die SO SOON oh fuck :( 

- orson krennic is, presumably straight faced, described as ‘a cruel but brilliant man’ which is PATENTLY LUDICROUS because krennic is by literally every indication a fucking idiot, he needs galen to do all the real work for him, he mouths off to DARTH VADER and then tarkin just effortlessly swoops in and fucks him over in the end, easily outmaneuvering him... orson krennic is a fucking loser I don’t care if he’s the one who introduced brutalist architecture to coruscant

lol lol lol *arrow pointing towards krennic’s head* ‘Keen mind dissects architectural puzzles and conspiratorial plots’ okay I see what happened here orson krennic wrote this book 

- oh galen erso is kind of one of the most interesting and heartbreaking characters in all of star wars. (and I do not say this just because of mads mikkelsen’s cheek bones) he’s incredibly intelligent but from a really poor family and wanted to eliminate the difference between rich and poor and invent a new form of infinitely renewable energy... and technically he did achieve that, except his old college buddy orson krennic immediately found a way to use his technology for genocide and he didn’t realize until it was too late :’) there is something so comforting in the fact that in the end galen still got the last laugh in the most epic but unsung way. he’s the sort of quiet Magnificent Bastard who doesn’t even care he’ll never get the credit as long as it worked. u did good on that one jyn

also several of the scientists galen is leading on eadu are in the same category as him -- captured and forced to work for the empire. so that’s great and not at all upsetting 

- galen and lyra’s falling in love story is kind of sweet (though naturally it pales against baze and chirrut’s whole deal but then who could compare) and the sheer effort and detail that’s gone into building the farmstead in the beginning we end up seeing for 5 minutes... dude (it feels very convincingly like somewhere a family would live though) 

- *sees that ‘databook’ is a concept that exists apparently; groans in fic research I thought ‘holodisc’ might do the job but maybe this is a better fit*

- I will say that my largest gripe with this movie is how glaringly unnecessarily male it is. there’s literally no reason for most of the rebels and ESPECIALLY all of the scientists to be male but here we are. 

well the stormtroopers could all canonically be any gender behind the armor so uh that’s. something lol

- despite being all desert-y jedha is apparently quite cool! temperature-wise I mean though the huge ancient statues lying everywhere are pretty awesome too

- wow stormtrooper armor really does just suck huh. it’s like ‘well it might protect you from a blaster bolt if you stand upwind and angle yourself just right, who knows’. I guess this is why everyone and their grandmothers are drooling over mando’s beskar lol

- star wars’ insistence on sticking to single-biome planets is so silly and I love it. stick to that incomprehensible world building decision lucasfilm I respect you

- mon mothma! basically the most important character in the star wars universe who most people won’t know about lol she’s like the anti-palps. for the most part she is one of the most Big Goods in all of star wars (along with bail) but also she’s played by the actress who voices moira in overwatch so I do instinctively distrust her whenever I hear her talk haha. called palpatine a ‘lying executioner’ to his face which is both admirably bold and remarkably restrained, considering all the things palpatine is.

- oof the two people mentioned the most on anakin/vader’s pages are palpatine and obi wan. that’s. hurtful and bad and awful. the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making me watch ‘clone wars’ because watching ‘clone wars’ actually made me care about anakin skywalker :(

-ah shit this is a lot of pages about pasty empire dudes i’ll uh come back to these lol

[moodymelanist]

I need to know how you’re able to turn Evil Nesta and Soft Nesta on and off and Neglectful Cassian and Adorable Cassian on and off so well!! I love reading your fics and I’m just so curious the mechanisms behind them ❤️❤️❤️

Ahhh thank you so much for reading 🖤

This is actually my first time writing evil/unhinged Nesta! I’ve certainly touched on her anger and other similar “negative” emotions before but it’s not hard to tap into how pissed I felt about the deal she got in acosf (particularly when the first six chapters leaked). Nesta deserved the change to rage about how unfair her circumstances were (especially after she was Made against her will) and I hate how acosf essentially defanged her without really resolving the way she felt about herself. And especially as someone who’s struggled with anger issues herself (don’t worry y’all I did anger management lol) evil!Nesta is almost… wish fulfillment, particularly the CON fic.

As for Cassian, I’ve definitely touched on him being neglectful before, and I hate to say it but the canon story makes it easy (particularly some of the things he said in ACOFAS and ACOSF). I even took some of his direct quotes for some of the arguing scenes I’ve written (particularly some of the scenes in my Neris fic, Set My Soul Alight). I love Nessian and I love Cassian but boy does he make it easy to make him the bed guy.

But that being said because I love Nessian so much that makes it easy to write them being soft and loving and being the partners they both deserve. I usually stick to modern AUs so it’s easier to set up the love they have there, but if I do venture into canon and put them together, my love for them as a unit makes it easy to write the soft and happy moments they deserve 😌

[psifitopia]

late liveblogging

I’ve decided to go ahead and do a “live” blogging of Murdoc + MacGyver + Murdoc.   Hurray for CBS All Access!  I just have so many reactions to this and I notice more stuff as I keep rewatching.  lol  This is actually the fifth or sixth time I’ve watched this episode.  I can’t get enough of it. 

To be fair to him, Mac did lock his door, after coming in.  Not that did it did him much good, of course. 

I gotta agree with Murdoc.  They really need to get rid of the George Washington mask.  

Owch!  That’s gotta hurt.  Mac is TICKED!  Haha  Murdoc, you’re winded.  

Do you really care if the water is filtered, Murdoc?  It’s no wonder Mac gets impatient with you. 

There it is he USED to admire Liu for being dangerous and violent.   Maybe it’s different, when it’s aimed at Cassian...or Murdoc’s heart is changing.   MacGyver is so unimpressed right now, even when giving credit where due.  Apparently, Murdoc is better at hunting than rescuing. 

“I care about you so much...”   And you do such a crap job of showing it, Murdoc.   Honestly.  

Mac’s hot, when he’s angry.  He’s cute, when he’s annoyed. 

Murdoc, what is up with Bozer?   Be nice to him!   I love how he greets them with such fondness.  I also love Jack calling him “Doc.”   There’s just something cute about there frenemy relationship.  Poor Nasha.  

Honestly, Murdoc, do you not realize you can’t just demand inspiration?  A little patience is called for here.  I love Murdoc’s weird speech patterns.  “Hashtag disappointed.”   “Evil before beauty.”  His accent does such an interesting thing right there.  It’s cute.  

And, evidently, Murdoc does not have a nose like a bloodhound.  

Defensive much, Murdoc?  Mac, that is not the first time Murdoc has displayed human emotion around you.  Far from it.  

Wife, ha!   That was a shocker.  

Poor Nasha.  And dayum, Murdoc does clean up pretty!  I love it, when Dastmalchian’s characters wear a suit.  

Jack, Jack, that is not helping, dude.   Yeah, fine, go be action man. 

No, Murdoc, it is not surprising that you lied.  Of course, I’m personally not surprised you convinced someone to marry you.   Good looks and intelligence will get you places.  

Wow, Mac, you’re hitting below the belt today.  Of course, it’s justified, but it’s unusual for you, bud.   Try not to antagonize the stressed out, homicidal parent, too much, though.   Heh  I love Murdoc’s appreciation of sarcasm in others.  It’s good to know he mostly can take what he dishes out. 

Christopher Robin!   hehehe  Does that make Jack Pooh Bear?

What’s scary is Murdoc, murderous as he is, really doesn’t have a temper.  He gets impatient and mildly annoyed, often enough, but rarely angry.  Him with a temper...yeah, let's not leave Cassian with his mom.  Bad idea. 

And, wow, she really does not want to discuss custody.   Poor Cassian.   At least he knows his dad loves him.  Macgyver, come on.  I know you’re ticked, but the kid really is in a bad spot, here.  

Murdoc, you told him to shine.  Let him!   You know he does stuff for reasons. 

That’s one determined woman.  Of course, given how the episode ends, maybe she had others take turns doing it.   And, again, he USED to admire that about her.   Murdoc.  Any chance you’re finding better people to admire now?  Hmmm?

Reese’s Piecies.  LOL  Murdoc, you are so strange.  Again, give MacGvyer a chance.  Does he look like he’s given up?   I’m not sure if Murdoc's jealous of Nasha or just reacting badly to everything, because he’s worried about Cassian.  Probably both, but I think his worry is fogging his head.  He usually keeps up with MacGyver better than this. 

“Waste removal.”  Rude, Murdoc.  I really do love that.  “How’s your day going to far?  I mean, besides this part, of course.”   The banker’s reaction sells that so well.  He just does not know what he should say.  Humor the lunatic, not humor the lunatic?  

Yes, MacGyver speaking Spanish is beyond hot.   No, Murdoc, you are not the fun team.   To be fair, though, he did handle that sarcasm about the mirror really well.   Poor MacGyver just cannot stop with the remarks.  I do love the way Lucas Till portrayed him in a state of slowly simmering rage.  

Mac, he didn’t kill you, because 1) he never does and 2) you had quit the Phoenix and weren’t a problem for him.   I have to say, though, that whole “You’re asking a sociopath his motive for committing murder?  That is so cute!  Next question!” thing?   That seems pretty evasive to me.  I’m wondering why Murdoc didn’t want to actually answer.   Murdoc just refuses to take this seriously and I don’t think it’s solely because he’s psycho and doesn’t care.   

“I want to be your Mona Lisa.”   That line is gold, because it can be taken SO many different ways.   

And, again, Murdoc saves MacGyver’s life.   If he does that one more time, saving Mac’s life is going to outnumber the times Murdoc’s tried to kill him.  (I don’t count the kidnapping in X-ray + Penny.   I don’t think he intended to kill MacGyver.  It was all a ruse to get Fletcher into the Collective.) 

This fight scene is so good.  Like, Amber, why are you trying to kill your husband?  Why so angry?  Then, again, this might be a standard greeting between them.  Murdoc doesn’t seem especially surprised.   And, wowza, that boy is strong.   It’s gotta take some strength to swing her around like that into a table!  

Yeah, Murdoc, isn’t your wife a better player than that?  To just leave the kid unattended and miss that she’s been tailed?   Poor MacGyver, having to play referee.  

Did they spend an hour just staring at each other challengingly?   Ah, the lovely couple snark! 

I will always die laughing over “cookie” and “cupcake.”   So adorable! 

Um, Amber?  You don’t get to criticize Murdoc’s parenting skills.  Cassian seems like a great kid and he at least has been trying.   LOL  Poor MacGyver trying to keep two assassins from metaphorically being stabby.  

Thirty-five aliases!  Ding dang, Murdoc.  Okay, really, now you have no excuse to not retire.  Also, that comedy au of Murdoc being a landlord with quirky residents makes a bit more sense now.  

I have never heard a golf tee called a golf pencil.   Murdoc.  Hon.  You really shouldn’t call other people scum.  I mean, you are a paid killer, y’know.

I don’t think Murdoc expected you to be this angry at him.  You actually surprised him.   And MacGyver’s expressions during Murdoc’s story about meeting Amber is just so much win!   Damn, though.  I don’t expect MacGyver to care, but I do wonder if he realizes he’s succeeding in hurting Murdoc.   I’ll give you dollars to donuts that Murdoc is hiding a world of hurt at being told his son is better off without him.   He loves that boy. 

Ah, I do love Jack.  His skills really are under-rated.   Jack, are you taking Bozer’s shoes as compensation for the loss of your cellphones? 

Murdoc is such a contradiction.  The whole pumping out the air thing is awful, but it really does seem he wanted it to fail.  After all, Nasha probably would have died, if he hadn’t put that warning on the rifle mechanism.   

Oh, ouch.  That little muscle twitch in Murdoc’s cheek!   I mean, wow!  Dastmalchian is such a fabulous actor and you can just see Murdoc heading for a meltdown.   MacGyver, that comment was really unkind, even if it is Murdoc. 

I love that except for one comment, MacGyver just lets Murdoc have his little tantrum.  

Talk about being made of iron!  That’s a messy way to catch up to people.   You have to give Murdoc credit for bravery.   The dude is badass!   He can barely walk, but he takes out three other assassins.   Four, if you count that he could have killed Amber. 

How many times has Jack or someone asked Murdoc what was wrong with him?  Now, it’s Murdoc’s turn to ask someone that.   No, Amber, you def were not cut out for motherhood, but, uh, were you betting Murdoc wouldn’t kill you?!  You took a heck of a risk, girlie.  

Murdoc’s expressions.  That wince.  You can almost see his brain chewing on itself.  He’s so close to a breakdown. At least he had the sense to clean up a bit, before getting to Cassian.   I love every time Murdoc and Cassian interact.  There is so much love and concern between them.   Poor Cassian seeing his dad injured!  And Murdoc assuring him and holding his hand.  This gives me so many feels!   Honestly,  I think this is where MacGyver really begins seeing humanity in Murdoc.  

Seriously, Murdoc just looks so honestly pleased that Nasha got rescued.  

He’s going to jail for the sake of his son.   I love that they’re developing his character beyond merely walking evil.  I hate that trope.  It’s boring, imho.  I prefer complexity.  

I really think he means it, when he says Matty and MacGyver are two of his favorite people.   And, I do wonder.  What kinds of preparation are being made to his cell?   I have a feeling she means a lot more than just putting out some sheets.

Matty is being so kind, here, really.   She’s not cutting him slack, exactly, but she’s being compassionate.   I think she gets how hard this is for him.  She really is a great character.   Oh, Mac.  Of course, he’ll get the address.  

Uncle?  Brothers?   Murdoc, you can’t hide forever.   

Ah, Mac, you’re finally catching on.  Don’t shoot him down too quickly.  I have a feeling you’re going to need him and you’re the best influence he’s ever had.

Murdoc, it would really help if you didn’t hide your advice and warnings behind sarcasm.  

Oh, Nasha, you don’t know how Mac’s life works.   It’s never over and Murdoc will never be gone...I hope.