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rovelae · 4 years

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Why Saiouma isn’t toxic

(CW: in-depth discussion of abuse, discussion of rape/noncon)

Disclaimer(s): This is an intellectual discussion, not a screaming match. If you’re here to argue with facts and evidence, I don’t mind debating with you. If you just want to throw a tantrum because I like something you don’t, I’m going to tell you to take a Xanax and go to bed.

I’m combining the terms “toxic” and “abusive”; though they aren’t technically the exact same, they’re similar enough for the purposes of this essay.

This essay isn’t meant to convince you to ship Saiou. If you don’t like it, you don’t like it. But it’s not right to scream ‘abuse’ where none exists; it hurts fans and content creators, and it “diminishes the importance of that word and it reduces [it] to something volatile and stupid.”

To begin with, we have to identify what makes a relationship abusive. The way I define it, an abusive relationship involves manipulation, an inherent power imbalance, and/or physical or sexual abuse. Most of the hate-posts I’ve seen paint Kokichi as the abuser and Shuichi as the hapless victim, so that will be the focus of this essay.

1. Would Kokichi manipulate Shuichi for personal gain?

There’s no denying that Kokichi is a manipulative person. He’s a liar and he did some awful things in the game. No one’s saying he’s a morally white character. But it would be wrong to say he’s entirely evil, either.

I’ve already covered in this post why Kokichi can’t be said to lie for personal gain, but I’ll quote a bit of it here.

“The motivation [behind Kokichi’s lies] isn’t self-serving—he’s motivated by a desire to end a death game and stop anyone from having to go through what he and his friends have ever again. The smaller lies, though, like lying about his favorite foods? It would be annoying to be tricked like that, but it’s way too much of a stretch to label it psychological abuse.”

We know that Kokichi’s DICE organization has a moral taboo against murder. We know he hated the killing game, to the point where he orchestrated his own suicide in order to ruin it. And almost every time Kokichi lies in the class trials, it’s either for comedic relief or to push the cast toward finding the culprit.

“But Chapter 4!” you protest. “Kokichi manipulated Gonta into killing Miu!”

My response is threefold:

- Miu started it. Kokichi wouldn’t have done anything at all if his life wasn’t in danger and he wasn’t desperate.

- It’s wrong to think that Gonta is incapable of making his own decisions. Kokichi may have influenced him in that direction, but Gonta actively made the choice to kill Miu—his own avatar confirms it at the end of the trial. (See also: Impytricky’s “Gonta Gokuhara Character Analysis: When a Genius is Treated like a Child”)

- Kokichi felt terrible about what happened in Trial 4, to the point where he begged Monokuma to execute him along with Gonta. He didn’t need to do that, and it throws off his whole “I’m the mastermind” act just a few lines later, so we must assume he was being honest about that. It’s clear that he doesn’t enjoy hurting others.

If that’s still not enough for you, consider: desperation, and, by extension, the killing game, brings out the worst in people. We can’t accurately judge a person’s character if all we have to go off of is the worst parts of them. Would Leon have killed Sayaka outside of the killing game? Would Hifumi have agreed to help Celestia kill Taka? Would Gundham have killed Nekomaru?

So, would Kokichi manipulate Shuichi for personal gain? No. His whole character is motivated by a desire to help the others, and his lies are either manifestations of that motivation or harmless pranks meant to entertain.

2. Does the Saiouma ship have an inherent power imbalance?

Shuichi is, by his own admission, weak. Kokichi has a strong personality and likes to be in charge. That doesn’t mean that Kokichi doesn’t respect Shuichi and his opinions. In fact, each class trial is packed with evidence of Kokichi listening to Shuichi’s point of view and respecting his intelligence. For instance:

- Kokichi sided with Shuichi during scrum debates 2, 3, and 4

- Kokichi pointed out most of Shuichi’s lies during the trials (and back routes), but in most cases, didn’t fight him on it

- Shuichi is the only character identified as “trustworthy” by the white board in Kokichi’s room—i.e., Kokichi trusted him to at least be on the right track in the trials.

Kokichi is also shown to care about Shuichi’s feelings in the game, like when he told him he’d rather bring Kaede back to life in Chapter 3, because it would make Shuichi happy. To reiterate: he wants Shuichi to be happy even if it means they don’t end up together. That says a lot.

Additionally, I already mentioned that Shuichi is weak, but it’s important to realize that he isn’t so much of a pushover that he’s entirely incapable of standing up for himself. Look at his interactions with Miu, for example: he sharply told her that “I can wear a hat if I want” when she made fun of him for it, and in her FTEs, he refuses to eat the hygienically questionable food she made for him.

Shuichi’s kind of a simp and tends to get roped into things, yes. But he’s able to stand up for himself—especially after Chapter 6—to the point where he wouldn’t enter into a relationship unless he wanted to. If you think Kokichi would somehow be able to force Shuichi to be his boyfriend, you have no faith in Shuichi—and Chapter 6 proves you wrong.

So, is Saiouma inherently imbalanced? No. Kokichi respects Shuichi’s feelngs, intelligence, and opinions, and Shuichi’s a stronger character than he’s given credit for.

3. Would Kokichi physically or sexually abuse Shuichi?

One needs only to look at Kokichi’s Love Hotel event for the answer. While the Love Hotel isn’t canon to the game’s timeline, the characters are still in character— that is, Kokichi and Shuichi are acting as they normally act.

It’s important to note that Kokichi is the only character who backed off of Shuichi after Shuichi either appeared visibly uncomfortable or told them to stop. Kaede asked for Shuichi’s consent and was given it; Angie, Himiko, Kiyo, Miu, and Tsumugi all took advantage of Shuichi in some way or another; and the rest just didn’t have sexual connotations. Kokichi made advances on Shuichi, noticed that Shuichi was uncomfortable, and immediately backed off.

“But wait!” you cry. “Just because one character didn’t rape the other doesn’t mean they have a good relationship!”

Of course, and that’s important to realize, too. But recall that the purpose of this essay isn’t to convince you to ship Saiouma—it’s to prove that it isn’t abusive.

Keep in mind that this was Kokichi’s fantasy— he would have been able to do whatever he wanted to Shuichi with zero repercussions, and Shuichi probably wouldn’t even remember much when he woke up. And still, Kokichi chose to stop the moment he realized Shuichi wasn’t on board with what was happening. That says a lot.

And what about outside the game? We know from the Salmon Mode ending that Kokichi is desperate for someone to “figure him out.” He’d be very careful not to jeopardize his relationship with someone who genuinely wants to understand him.

And Shuichi does genuinely want to understand him:

So, would Kokichi physically or sexually abuse Shuichi? No. It’s just not in his character.

“But what if Kokichi was lying about EVERYTHING IN THE WHOLE GAME?” you yell. “There’s no way we can trust anything he’s ever said ever!”

If every Danganronpa character was polite, kind, open, and honest, 100% of the time without fail, the game would be incredibly boring. If that’s the kind of media you’re into, I’d recommend something like Reader Rabbit or Winnie the Pooh. Danganronpa is a murder mystery, where characters hurt and betray and lie and actually kill each other. You can’t trust anyone; that’s the whole point.

So I advise you to go back through the game with an open mind and try, actually try, to use reading comprehension skills to understand the characters. Examine their motives, think about what they might be feeling when they make the decisions they do.

Danganronpa is not the kind of game to spoon-feed you easy-to-swallow characters. You have to pick them apart yourself.

As for everything Kokichi has ever said possibly being a lie? Maybe. Maybe every character is lying to you. But if you hate Kokichi just because he’s dishonest, then it follows that you have to hate Rantaro, Kaede, Shuichi, Kaito, Maki, Himiko, Kiyo, Miu, Tsumugi, Kirumi, and Kiibo—which, at that point, why are you even a fan of the game?

And if you deny everything Kokichi said just because you think it’s a lie…

In conclusion

You can dislike Saiouma because it’s not your thing, but it’s wrong to spread hate over abuse that doesn’t exist. Hating and attacking people for having a different opinion than you won't magically sway them to your side. If you can't articulate your points in a way that doesn't antagonize, you probably shouldn't be talking. People like what they like for a reason, and spitting on what they like won't make you any friends.

And throwing around weighted terms like “toxic” when you just don’t like something? That makes YOU the toxic one.

#Rov talks #a lot #Saiouma #abuse mention #rape mention #character analysis #I doubt that the people who *should* read this *will* read it #so this might be more of a vent I guess #Feel free to reblog/quote/repost with credit #References: users oumakokichi; impytricky; and chibigaia-art #The first two do great meta pieces #and the last spits more fax than an office

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jadoue1999 · 3 years

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The X-Men and the member they lost - Chapter 3

Summary: What do you get when you mix Hayward and the Xmen? A pissed off Erik that's seriously trying to not murder the man!

Previous parts: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8,

Chapter 3: The Maximoff Anomaly

They had settled in fast. The older man that had intercepted them was called Hayward. He seemed very distraught at their arrival and made them go into an unused building. The director hadn’t listened to their protesting, he preferred having them out of the way. For what ever reason, Erik wasn’t sure. They soon realized that time worked differently in this universe. While they had already seen the episode and moved on, it had just ended as they arrived. Charles had told him with amusement that Hank would go crazy over the possibilities. Thankfully, the bunker contained televisions that monitored the town and the broadcast. Hayward had deemed necessary to make sure only people close to him knew of their arrival. They were all sitting around a table when he demanded their story. Charles spoke up. “We’re not from your Earth,” he started.

The director had looked at Kurt with a raised eyebrow, “I had that much figured.”

The professor continued, “two weeks back, one of our members went missing and the broadcast was all we could find. Our universe seems to be ahead of you with the episodes, but we are behind in years.”

“How so?” Questioned the woman sitting next to Erik.

“To us, it’s the eighties.” Charles waited a few moments, letting the people around some time to understand. “We come from a world where people are born with mutations, Kurt here can teleport.” The teenager looked at the professor, silently asking for permission to show his powers. Charles nodded and the blue mutant teleported from one side of the room to another. Hayward seemed shocked as the rest of the people gasped. Charles continued, “this is Raven, she can shapeshift.” Erik smirked as Mystique changed into a perfect copy of the director, making him jump out of his chair in surprise. She turned back into her human form and watched with amusement as Hayward slowly sat back down, eyeing her with caution. Probably seeing how unsettled the agents were, Charles decided to end this quickly. “I can personally read mind and Erik can control metal.”

Erik rolled his eyes as the military people looked at them with wide eyes. He wasn’t going to demonstrate his powers; he had done enough of that with Shaw. The team seemed to get the message that there would be no more demonstrations and moved on.

“So,” said the lady next to the director, “why are you here? Other than the broadcast.”

“Oh well, like I’ve mentioned before, we had a member of our team go missing.” The professor wheeled himself close to a screen and rewound the episode to when Peter appeared. “You see this young man? This is Peter, we had no clue where he went. We watched the broadcast in hopes for answers and we finally found him. Though in a tighter spot than we’d expected, but he does have a knack for trouble.”

Erik smirked at the joke; the speedster had always found himself in the strangest place at the wrong time. He was basically a magnet for trouble.

The director broke the silence. “So, this is not Pietro Maximoff?”

Erik shook his head, deciding to speak up at last, “no, he is not your Pietro, this is Peter Maximoff; my son.”

Hayward seemed surprised that someone other than Charles had spoken. “Is he like you all, enhanced?”

“Yes, he is a mutant,” answered Raven, clearly uncomfortable about the man’s tone. “He has superspeed.”

The director closed his eyes and sighed before turning to his colleague. “Bring the files concerning the Maximoff anomaly, they need to know.” The woman nodded and left the compound. He turned to the other members that hadn’t done much but gape at them and ordered them out. Apparently, he didn’t want people to witness what was about to happen. That left the man alone with the X-men. “Look, I get what you people can do, you barge in and act on an impulse; fix what you think is a threat and leave the rest of us to deal with the mess you leave behind. You might think you’re right, but this is my base.” Erik tensed up at the man’s words, this speech being all too familiar. “I don’t want you meddling in my stuff, Wanda Maximoff is a threat that needs to be dealt with no matter the price. You can go get your friend after.”

It was now official; he hated this man.

Though, before he could show him just how much he despised him, his colleague came back. She didn’t react to the lack of personnel, perhaps she had been expecting it. She was holding a significant number of files and what seemed to be a tv remote. Hayward thanked her and opened a file labeled ‘confidential’. It showed a picture of Wanda. Only she seemed younger, and her hair were a dark brown; there was also a man with bleached blonde hair at her side. They were in a crowd of people, their faces twisted in rage as they seemed to yell to something the picture didn’t show.

“This is Wanda Maximoff, back when she joined a Nazi base and accepted to be experimented on. This is how she got her powers.”

“Director, with all due respect, I believe your thoughts betray you,” interrupted Charles, to the man’s frustration. “I think it’s important to complete your statement and precise that she didn’t know what she was getting herself into.”

Erik secretly praised his friend and his telepathy; Hayward was obviously trying to antagonize the woman. It was obvious they now had to take his version of events with a grain of salt.

“Yes...” grunted the director, obviously upset about being caught in a lie. He pointed to the other man in the picture, “this is Pietro Maximoff, Wanda’s twin, the real one. He too had superspeed.”

He switched on a screen that was flatter than any television Erik had ever seen. It showed Wanda and Pietro in what appeared to be a lab. There was a sort of casket all plugged in with tubes. The pair seemed to be arguing with two older men. There was no audio, so their discussion didn’t make much sense. Suddenly, a blue blur raced through the lab, removing all the tubes in mere seconds. The blonde man stopped next to the casket looking thing and threw the last tube on the floor. It was strange, seeing another version of his son. Their powers were very similar yet very different. While Peter’s trail was silver, Pietro’s was blue, he also left some blue energy lingering in the air. It lasted a few seconds as he stopped before it disappeared. From the few dates in the documents and video, this Quicksilver seemed to have developed his powers only for a few months. It was probably why he seemed to be a little slower than his son. Hayward spoke again.

“The twins were working against the Avengers, those in charge of defending our planet. There was an army of robots threatening to destroy the world, they had sided with the robot in charge.” He glanced quickly at Charles. “They eventually changed sides, but Pietro didn’t survive.”

The footage changed to show a man and a child trying to take cover as a trail of bullets grew nearer. Suddenly, they were out of harm’s way and the speedster was in their place. His shirt was riddled with holes that quickly soaked with blood and he fell to the ground, dead. Fear seized Erik as he watched the man fall to the ground; momentarily seeing Peter in his place. Would a similar thing have happened had Mystique not disguised herself as one of the horsemen?

Hayward continued, showing footage of Wanda fighting in a group against other people, explaining how this event had led to the Sokovia accords, which was nothing more than a differently named mutant registration act. Except this one was actually approved. She had refused to sign and went into hiding, only to resurface when a titan had attacked the Earth. He apparently needed something called infinity stones, one of which was in Vision’s head. From the next chain of event Hayward told them, the titan had apparently succeeded in retrieving the stone. The real mystery was how the Vision was back to life; the director insisted that it was Wanda who resurrected him. She had been blipped, like half of the universe, and had came back grief stricken and ready to do anything to have a perfect family life. She had taken an entire town hostage and made them into her puppets. There was no telling what she might do to achieve her goal. Apparently kidnapping an alternate universe version of her brother wasn’t out of her reach. As Hayward continued telling them about Wanda’s life and what she had done, Erik had only one pressing thought: just how powerful was Wanda?

“How many people are in this town?” Wondered Charles.

“A little more than three thousand. They’re not all casted as roles, most are simply background characters.”

The wheelchair bound man nodded in comprehension. “Have you identified them all? Warned their families?”

He shook his head. “I believe it’s in everyone’s interest if we keep this low, we don’t want to alarm anyone. Especially when the world just came back.”

“You idiot,” raged Raven, “if they can’t reach their loved ones, they will ask questions. They will panic. Your logic is awfully flawed.”

“This is not your dimension, you don’t get to tell me what to do,” argued Hayward, clearly annoyed with them. “I will try to urge the identification process, but you people stay here. I don’t want more superpowered people and their associates getting in my way.”

With that, the man just left the place, followed by his colleague. Whether it was intentional or not, they left their documentation behind. Erik took one of the many files from the pile and opened it. This one described Vision’s origin and whereabouts until he had been destroyed in-

“Charles,” he said, not taking his eyes off the numbers. “This here says that the android died in 2018, five years ago.”

“We traveled 40 years in the future?” Said Kurt, understandably a little overwhelmed by the situation.

Raven put a comforting hand on the teleporter’s shoulder before looking at her friend. Her eyes showed how the situation affected her just as much as it did them. He didn’t blame her; Erik wasn’t sure if he truly grasped the gravity of the implications yet. For now, he preferred to focus on Wanda and her past; the more he knew about her, the better of a chance they’d have to retrieve his son safely and unharmed. The later wasn’t looking too hopeful. From his own experience with mind control and the co-worker’s reaction to being awoken, Peter would likely have a long and painful recovery once he would be back to himself. He just hoped that the differences between their timelines meant that he hadn’t been controlled since he had gone missing. Perhaps, by some luck, he would have arrived a little before he appeared on screen. He didn’t let himself think of what the speedster could have endured before being put under the woman’s spell. Especially if he had been her puppet for the entire two weeks he had disappeared.

“Erik,” interrupted Charles, “I can hear your concerns and I can assure you; your son is a fighter. His mutation is a natural telepath repellent, he’ll be just fine.”

The man smiled at his friend’s words, momentarily comforted. But then, a terrible thought creeped into his head. “Then tell me, old friend, if he is so immune; what horrible torture would he have to go under, so that his mental shield would be lowered enough for him to be vulnerable?”

The silence that followed his statement seemed to confirm that no one had even considered how Peter could be controlled in the first place. They had been too panicked at seeing the young man on the screen and then focused on getting to him to even think of the logic of his newly casted role.

“B-but he’ll be alright,” stammered Kurt, his tail anxiously twitching behind him, swinging, and curling unto itself. “He’s Peter, he always comes out alright.”

Charles smiles weakly at his student, “of course he will, Kurt,” he reassured him, “but we will have to give him time to heal and let him do the first steps when he’ll be ready.”

Erik shared a worried look with Raven, the professor seemed hopeful that the speedster would turn out fine, but he didn’t seem to realize how ahead he was thinking. They were on a military base that had studied for nine days this seemingly all powerful being that didn’t let you in without her consent and a rewrite of your life. And they hadn’t gotten far. From what they had learned, Peter would not be free of Wanda’s control unless she herself brought down the dome. But how could a grief-stricken mutant with powers never seen before just give up what she perceived as the perfect life she deserved?

...

They had stayed up late, learning about Wanda’s past and being horrified at what she had to go through. Erik wasn’t sure how he felt about the woman. She had gone through awful events, a struggle similar to his own. He did feel pity towards her, but he couldn’t look past the fact that she had his son playing her twisted game. The group had eventually settled down for the night, sleeping as good as they could without beds or blankets. They were suddenly awoken by some agitation on the base. Charles stared off into the distance before turning to his team, “Hayward has kicked off people from the base that were being disrespectful to him, now he’s coming our way.”

Indeed, barely fifteen seconds after he had spoken, the director opened the door. He seemed annoyed. “I’m just here to tell you that a new episode should air in the next twenty minutes.”

The blue teen looked at the man, “what happened outside just now?”

His question apparently wasn’t a welcome one since Hayward clenched his jaw in frustration. He answered nonetheless, “I got rid of nuisances. Nothing that concerns you or your team.”

That shut the boy up, but Raven stepped in front of him protectively. “You don’t get to talk to him like that, or to any of us.”

The director narrowed his eyes at her. “You should be thankful,” he snarked, “I could have you all arrested and locked up for the rest of your days, along with your little friend. Yet I haven’t even told anyone about your presence. I’ve been more than benevolent. So, I suggest you watch your mouth.”

Rage built up in Erik, he had heard these words so many times from government figures that disguised their hatred by saying what they could have done but didn’t. The metal bender was well aware that men like him wouldn’t hesitate to sell them out for a raise. What he didn’t appreciate was the way he threatened to imprison Peter as soon as they would get him free from Wanda’s control. Erik felt the metal in the man’s outfit and forced him closer, bringing him at his level. A sliver of fear was seen for a split second in Hayward’s eyes and a feeling of satisfaction crept into his chest. That man was a coward. “You listen to me,” he growled, “we can take out this base in seconds if we feel like it. I’ve seen your kind before, you crush others to rise in rank, but deep down you’re scared. You’re terrified because you’re aware that you are nothing. And if you drop your facade even for a second, they will see you for what you truly are. So, you take out the competition before it even has a chance to realize its potential. But guess what? You’ve met your match because I see you for what you truly are.” He paused as he stared into the man’s eyes. It was a competition of stares that lasted for a few seconds. Erik’s unwavering gaze pierced through the man’s pitiful attempt at intimidation without much effort. Finally, he let his grip go and kept his ground as Hayward took a few steps back. “Here’s a deal, little man, stay out of our way and we’ll stay out of yours.”

The director glared at him and then switched to the other people in the room, probably wondering if the threats he had said had a chance of becoming reality. Whatever he concluded, Erik didn’t know, but the man left the room fuming. The room was silent for a few seconds before Charles wheeled himself closer. He was about to speak but the metal bender beat him to it. “Don’t try to reason with me, old friend, that man had it coming. I only spoke the truth.”

The bald man shook his head. “Yes, you are right, and I don’t blame you for this, but perhaps threatening the director of the base we’re staying in wasn’t the greatest idea?”

Before he could argue, Raven intervened, “I think you did good. It’s been a while since I had seen one of your Magneto speeches; that Stryker knock off deserved it.”

He snorted at her comparison; Hayward was very similar to their own impersonation of the anti-mutant feeling back home. Kurt seemed a little unsettled by Erik’s speech. But he didn’t have time to make sure the teen was alright. Suddenly, the television in their little bunker flickered on; a new episode was starting. They all scrambled to sit down as the screen showed one of the twins running around with a camera in his hands. The upbeat intro song was echoing through the room.

‘Wanda!

WandaVision!

Don’t try to fight the chaos

Don’t question what you’ve done

The game can try to play us

Don’t let it stop the fun’

He opened the bathroom door, showing Wanda brushing her teeth; she also had rollers in her hair. She closed the door with her magic and Tommy ran downstairs to Vision who was reading the newspaper.

‘Some days, it’s all confusion

Easy come and easy go’

Erik watched the screen anxiously as the family members were shown, what would she make her son do?

‘But if it’s all illusion

Sit back, enjoy the show!’

The twin went in the kitchen, their neighbor was looking in the fridge. After a distasteful close up of the woman’s behind, Tommy was now headed for outside.

‘Let’s keep it going

Through each distorted day

Let’s keep it going

Though there may be no way of knowing

Who’s coming by to play’

A blur came out from the house and Erik’s stomach twisted as his son appeared on screen. He was wearing a grey and black shirt and jeans shorts. He briefly stopped in front of the camera and pulled his tongue out like some sort of rock star. He ran out of the shot and came back holding the long-haired twin under one arm. The screen froze to simulate a family picture being taken. The logo ‘WandaVision’ in red and yellow hues.

“Pietro Maximoff as himself?” remarked Raven unimpressed. “Really?”

Erik didn’t react to her voice; he was all too focused on his son. While he didn’t seem that different than usual, he couldn’t help but notice his hair. His usual silver mess of hair were now a bleached blonde. He stared at the screen in disbelief.

This woman had taken away one of Peter’s most unique traits, a part of his personality, to fit her narrative.

He continued looking at the screen with a mix of rage and anxiety. If she had changed him so easily to fulfill her illusion; there was no telling what else she could do if she found out he wasn’t truly her brother.

***

Notes: Next chapter: the halloween special! (and something else)

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somewhatvaguely · 3 years

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Hey, I saw your post about tom being an enneagram type 2. I agree completely! What do you think the other succession character enneagram types are? I waffle between 6 and 9 for Greg.

I CHERISH this ask, anon. What a good one.

I think it's tough impossible to type people without asking them direct questions, since the Enneagram is less about what they do/how they do it and more about why. And that's harder to see. Then throw in the fictional element, and the fact that it's Succession, a show all about hidden motivations, and uh... but we'll give it a swing.

Logan: 8 (The Challenger). Wants power. Wants control. Easy peasy.

The Golden Trio: I think it's tempting to assume they're all 3's (The Achiever), because when we meet them, they're all vying for Logan's approval and they all appear very driven and image-conscious. That said, I would argue that only Shiv is a 3 at heart. So the others?

Kendall: 1 (The Reformer). He cares about the way things are done, is intense, and has a strong sense of right and wrong - imo, the fact that he's continually ignoring that sense of right and wrong fuels his addiction issues. Even though he can be an egomaniacal hypocrite (affectionate). I am close to labeling him a 3, but what stops me is his early conversation with Logan about Vaulter. When Logan mocks him for wanting to do something "good," as if this is a fatal flaw. Logan hurts him later on by twisting the knife about the boy drowning - his sense of morality. And then Kendall calls him evil to his face in "All the Bells Say," because to Kendall, that is the worst thing a person can be. Even Kendall's image-conscious and egomaniacal moments are tied to his morality. His birthday party, wanting to sing "Honesty" and be hung up on a cross, to be... super subtle about it. In the wake of the Cruises scandal, he doesn't just want to be useful like a 3, he wants to be seen as a woke hero.

Roman: 7 (The Enthusiast). I'll just copy and paste: Unable to discriminate what they really need, become hyperactive, unable to say "no" to themselves, throwing self into constant activity. Uninhibited, doing and saying whatever comes to mind: storytelling, flamboyant exaggerations, witty wise-cracking, performing. (x) and then an unhealthier level: Desperate to quell their anxieties, can be impulsive and infantile: do not know when to stop. Addictions and excess take their toll: debauched, depraved, dissipated escapists, offensive and abusive. Gerri and the photos, tripping Kendall at the party.

Shiv: 3 (The Achiever). Some label her an 8, and I get it. But I think what Shiv wants most of all is to be useful - "to feel valuable and worthwhile" (x), and to impress other people. She often calls attention to her own usefulness in a way that makes me feel awkward, like she's getting off on the idea a little bit. (See her comment to Tom in "Argestes" about how she's outside the Cruises scandal, that's why she's useful - there's just something about her delivery, her tone that stands out to me).

Greg: I waffle on 6/9 too. He does have a bland unflappability, and that weird optimism/trusting nature (9). That said, I feel like when shit hits the fan, he panics on a comedic scale (attack child, what?!) (6). This is a tough one, so I say pick your fave, lol.

I'm going to keep theorizing on other characters (Connor's a 9, Stewy's a 3, Willa's a 4, Gerri's unknowable), but this is what I have for now. Anybody else, thoughts?

Disclaimer: the Enneagram is more like astrology than science, imo, it's just fun to think about, especially in fiction.

#succession #enneagram #gregory hirsch #kendall roy #roman roy #shiv roy #asks

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stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland · 4 years

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Camren Timeline (Tittle edited)

Hello, dear Anon.

I’m gonna answer your questions in order.

1) 2012-2016. This is the timeline that I’m gonna explain just because so you can go check based on the concerts, interviews, etc. Compared to the first years, the timeline from 2017 to today is much simpler because they’ve broken up very few times. This one here that I’m gonna explain (2012-2016), is based on what I know and also my theories. You can, as usual, disagree with me.

In January 2017, Camila talked about the evolution of her music during Lena Dunham’s Women of the Hour podcast, by explaining how she created her life story through the songs she wrote. Starting precisely from the age of 15, when she had her first kiss. She practically and inadvertently exposed the lie she has always been forced to tell regarding the famous first kiss she had when she was ‘17’. [The entire podcast has been removed, unfortunately. But you can go listen to the audio posted by 5HxCC News on Youtube, called ‘CAMILA CABELLO TALK FIRST KISS ON PODCAST’.]

According to the calculations, the kiss must have occurred between December 20, 2012, that is when X-Factor ended, and January 17, 2013, that is when they signed the contract with Syco/Epic in Los Angeles. My guess? It happened that same New Year’s Eve when the Cabellos spent it over at the Jaureguis.

Throughout 2013 until the beginning of April 2014, L and C had a strange relationship. They were friends, but they behaved and did things you wouldn’t do with a friend. Doesn’t that ring a bell? Oh, hello ‘Like Friends Do’!

2014: Become official in early April and broke up in late November. Small parenthesis. They were both 17 years old in April 2014. Oh, hello to you too ‘Used to This’!

2015: From the end of December 2014/the very first days of January 2015, to the beginning of April. From mid-July to mid-October. From the beginning of November to almost mid-December, they did a continuous on-again, off-again that lasted throughout 2016.

2016: from almost mid-January to mid-February. From early March to early April. From mid-May to early June. This makes me laugh. Only the first few days of August, then from mid-August to the end of August, and again, in hops the first days of September, and from after those hops, until almost the end of September. From early October to almost mid-October (broke up only for a few days), and then until mid-November. And lastly, only a few days in mid-December.

2) Camila suffers from one of the variants of OCD since she was 8, and despite seeing a therapist since 2013, her OCD was diagnosed at the end of 2015. C also suffers from anxiety, panic attacks, mood disorders, and depression (all linked to her OCD). These are things that we’ve been able to witness with our own eyes on more than one occasion. She’s always tried to bottle everything up and not show herself ‘weak’ in front of people, in front of us fans. The last thing she wanted was to let people know how much she was really struggling, and therefore, she always tried to disguise it as best she could. Many times, even using her humor as a shield. Picture certain events like a time bomb. Picture her depression as a progression ready to explode:

March 2015, mild. October, November, December 2015, and January 2016, medium. From June to August 2016, high, + explosion in early September, which consequently led to the permanent presence of mama Sinu.

Everything has been derived and therefore worsened by: 1) The rhythms that have always been crazy. 2) Having to deal with many people every day. 3) Having grown up in the spotlight and being constantly observed. 4) Labels that told them what to do (through management) even when they just had to breathe. 5) The expectations and the pressure they’d put on her for being chosen as the chosen one. 6) Having her relationship secretly because they’d rather pass her off as a killer rather than queer/bisexual/gay or in any case associate her romantically with a girl. 7) All the hatred constantly received.

And the list goes on… Anxiety consumed her life for a long time. Now comes and goes.

3) Yes, of course Laurinah were there for her. As were Ashlee, Normani, Ally, Hoko, Michel'Le, Lauren (Fuller), Roger, and a few other crew members who were with them on the tour. As were her family, Jenny, Sandra, Marielle, Mariana, Brooke, Megan, Tica, Rebecca, Guido, Steven, Javi, and her other Miami friends.

Guys, Camila is a private person. The fact that she’s private, however, doesn’t mean that at the time or now, she doesn’t have other friends. It wasn’t just Lauren, Dinah, and Ashlee. And as for 5H, of course Mani and Ally were there for her too, contrary to what they want us to believe. Just think about it. And don’t think that only Dinah was their captain. Who was the one who went to Taylor’s ‘1989 Tour’ concert with Camila? Who was the one who went with them to the famous 1975 concert in Los Angeles on April 16, 2014? Who was the one who tried to protect them from the paparazzi in London in 2015? And instead, who was the one who always helped them lie during interviews? Who was the one who could never manage to control her expressions at first glance in questions that caught them off guard?

Ally and Mani were captains as much as Dinah. There are billions of interviews that prove it. In their own way, they always helped and teased them. Think of the video where Ally fakes a laugh as Lauren loudly slaps C’s ass, who screams “Lauren!” Think about the performances of specific songs. One, for example, is ‘They Don’t Know About Us’, and Norminah always teased them especially during that song. Think about when fans asked Ally if Camren was real and she ran away, laughing and not answering. Think of Mani during the ‘BOSS or TOSS’ game. There are millions of other examples.

4) 3 times. But, as we saw with Dinah in that 2017 video, they may have given her intravenous therapies when she needed it. It’s common, especially for overworked artists.

Oh and, guys. I saw that the audio of the uncut interview with Hitz FM station that the girls did in Malaysia on July 6, 2016, which was released on August 5, has returned to spread. I don’t know why it’s back to spreading now since I heard it already, if I’m not mistaken, in 2017, and saved it a couple of years ago. But anyway, that’s not the point. The point is, I saw that they wrote what Camila says, and it’s wrong. Listen to the audio even at full volume if you want, but C doesn’t say ‘False’. This is what happens:

I (Interviewer): “This one an interesting one. Are Camila and Lauren dating?”

L: “No”

C: “Ugh, Jesus Christ”

I: “Yeah, I know” at the same time as what he says, C laughs awkwardly as a result of her comment “It comes down on Google 'cause people are googling it!”

L: “No! It’s amazing how people continue to do that”

I don’t know if whoever wrote that heard wrong or what. If it’s one of those “which name do you hear, Yanny or Laurel?” cases, you know? But I just wanted to point this out to you. That’s all.

Okay. Love u, guys. Stay safe, please. With love, Faby.

___

I decided to post this twice because I want to add this to a masterpost (Once I figure out how to do that)

But for real, this timeline is insane. I knew about a lot of those stuff except the last one about that interview. insane.

#submission #anon #ask #camren timeline #F #f anon

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chaoticspacefam · 3 years

Note

wonder if part of why the swtor jedi-sith conflict plays the way it does with “sith stans” and etc because the sith empire are functionally saturday morning cartoon villains - “murder and mayhem await!” compared to the more, i guess, believable evil of the republic/jedi following good ideals to bad conclusions and justifying war crimes

I'd certainly say it doesn't help things, you're right! I have...a lot of issues with the Jedi and their portrayal (especially in the Legends/SWTOR era), but I also recognise that a lot of that is very personal to me and that another fan might feel differently. Long, ranty post ahead so if that's not your deal, skip this one.

TL;DR: thinking critically about the behaviour of the Good Guys bad, I guess, since they're the good guys and you're obviously not allowed to use your own agency to decide something they do makes you deeply, viscerally uncomfortable. And God help you if you disagree with anything they do and cite personal experience behind your (very justified) avoidance of that rhetoric/teaching, because Bad Things Justified If Good People Do Them and how dare you have different personal experiences and responses. If that's what you do, you're doing fandom wrong /s Also, bad writing choices of the writers themselves that perpetuate toxic, harmful viewpoints and/or stereotypes don't mean anything when said viewpoints/stereotypes are the Bad Guys because...Bad Guys Aren’t Supposed To Be People With Rights, Thoughts and Feelings Too, They’re Just Evil, (cringe)

Disagreeing with someone’s opinions is fine, but if you’re going to deliberately expose yourself to content you don’t like and then attack the person that is making the content because they made it and it upset you when you went looking for it....you are, in fact, the one at fault babes. No one is holding you hostage, you can block tags or unfollow a person (especially me. I really don’t care honest to god, if my posts are not your jam just leave. please.) if you hate what they post so much and are unable to just scroll past things you don’t like to stay for things you do. I’ve done it and will continue to do so, and my fandom experience is happier for it. Also, people are human and sometimes we’re tired and we make mistakes like we miss a trigger tag, and you are within your right to come to the person and point that out, but you are not within your right to threaten them because they made a mistake. Then you’re just a dick.

But I still wouldn't be the one going around (passive) aggressively attacking other fans for disagreeing with my opinions and again, this is based on personal experience, but I've seen a lot more of that stuff from "pro-Jedi" people who seem to be conveniently okay with shit like mass-genocide and cultural erasure because "the Jedi are the good guys and the (OT) Sith are fascists!"

I don't interact with the subsect of fans that do think "the (OT) Empire did nothing wrong hurr durr" unironically (and for good reason, I don't agree with that viewpoint either and the fact that half the time the "defence" of these other fans is "well you're pro-fascist then!!" lmao) but there's a very big gap between the OT Empire which is rightfully a mirror of fascism and dictatorial governments and I do, in fact, raise my eyebrows in heavy criticism and disdain at the writers of the TOR-era deliberately choosing to "justify" the ultimate end being said fascist Empire by making the Sith species (and as always I preface this by saying I am in fact white & therefore know I have priveledge and can only "relate" on a much shallower level as POC fans, but there are places where I do find them more relatable than the TOR-era Jedi which reek of conservative, pearl-clutching Christianity (which I spent way too much of my life having forced upon me by the bible-bashing Evangelists(tm) in my family) to me and I just don't have the fucks to give to spend time fixing something that's honestly traumatising for me to be reminded of):

-heavily Indigenous/POC-coded

-"tribal" and not in a properly-researched and respectfully portrayed sense but in a very deliberate "these people are savage and need to be colonised and "sophisticated" by the More Acceptible (Human) Dark Jedi" even though they had their own society, belief systems, and even had technology - just not in the "socially acceptible, conventional sense" I guess

-perpetuating this by adding slavery and all of that can of worms into the mix too, just to drive home the "evil and bad" prototype ig. I'm not even gonna speak more on this part because it just makes me angry.

-Deliberately giving them more "alien" or inhuman characteristics, which while by itself is not necessarily a bad thing, put it together with all the other things?? Big. Fucking. Oof.

-Were literally exterminated and the survivors selectively bred for ONLY the "bad and evil" traits for not agreeing with the Jedi's beliefs. Their own practises and beliefs were automatically "evil" and "wrong" just because they didn't want to "convert" (sniff sniff, Christianity, is that you?)

A direct quote for those who can't be bothered to click and read the link:

For nearly two thousand years, superstition, loyalty and sympathy were bred out as the two groups interbred, and qualities such as cunning, ambition and affinity to the Force were favored, which shaped Sith society over the centuries.[3][21][22] In the Sith Empire, as time progressed pure-blooded Sith were steadily bred out,[6] resulting in only a few pure-blooded Sith left in the Sith Empire by the time of the Great Hyperspace War.[13] Long after, the true species in the Empire were believed to have gone extinct due to the interbreeding process.

And conversely the Jedi:

-Deny young children contact with their parents, siblings and families from the moment their Force sensitivity shows (hmmmm. )

-Continually and actively support the condemnation and Exile of "imperfect" Jedi, hell, it's even pointed out on Wookieepedia, that any Force sensitive, even those who are not aligned to either faction, but that train with or follow teachings that are not Jedi Approved (tm) is labelled as a "Dark Jedi" by the Jedi Order

Although "Dark Jedi" originally referred to a Jedi who had fallen to the dark side, it could also refer to uninitiated Force-sensitives who received no Jedi training but began their careers under another Dark Jedi. Others were simply dark-side users who did not follow the teachings of the Sith or other dark side organizations.

because "oh noooo you do not follow the way of the Truth and the Light you horrible person how dare you defy The One True Correct Teaching, that makes you the Devil Incarnate no matter what" UGH.

-Continuously push the idea (very heavily) that Emotions Are Bad, which just creates a bunch of emotionally-stunted powderkegs unable to recognise, confront and deal with said emotions (and as I've said, I would know, I was one and maybe still am in some ways lmao) , then blames said powderkeg for exploding because they were never taught how to handle the emotions in the first place.

(Fuck "there is no emotion, there is peace", that's not how people work and never will be lmao)

I don't really know what else to say about this to be honest, because even though I've only been on tumblr about a year now, I'm already tired of this constant "I'm right, you're wrong" finger-pointing between those people in the fandom.

Cause to some of these "pro-Jedi" people it's an unthinkable crime to dare to have a different opinion to them and just want to be left alone, I guess. I've literally been attacked for saying "I don't like the Jedi and find dealing with their dogma too traumatising based on personal experience and trauma from my childhood so I'm going to avoid it but you do you"

I've had American Christians (tm) clap back to that with the ever-wonderful "LMAO bitch you don't have religious trauma, you didn't grow up in the bible-belt, stop trying to be edgy, shut up and go to therapy"

(all of this is sarcasm, for those who need me to spell it out for you. I'm still traumatised by the shit I went through and have to constantly check myself and my own feelings because of the toxic "habits" those teachings tried to push onto me as a child and I have zero tolerance and patience for your (not you, ssalmon, but the royal "you" as it were) victim-blaming abuse apologism "gotchas")

because 1) clearly American Christianity and the bible-belt are the only insidious and harmful subsect of Christianity and it's not like the concept of Evangelism as a whole is inherently toxic, harmful, and traumatising to those subjected to it right 2) Obviously there's a Stated Right Way To Be Traumatised and anyone who falls outside of that (Non-Existent) handbook is "faking it for attention" 3) bold of them to assume that curating my own fandom (and life) experience, and refusing to engage with things that trigger me, isn't something that I literally fucking learned in therapy lmao

Also, I find it funny how these are the people going around attacking people like me, who are literally minding our own motherfucking business, but then claim to preach “love and tolerism” and all this other bullshit. Karen, sweetie, only one of us is going around telling people they deserve to be murdered/stabbed for disagreeing with thier opinion about a videogame and pointing out that “hey, that’s...very yikes maybe don’t do that, step back and calm down” and it ain’t me (true story, this happened a couple of months ago and I don’t wanna dredge the post up because it’s very upsetting to think about) People are allowed to have opinions, and they don’t have to agree with your opinion just because that’s what you think, and the second that you sink to sending people death threats because they don’t share your opinion, you are, in fact, the asshole in that conversation.

It was even funnier because the person in question followed me first, I initially thought they were pretty cool so I followed back, then they threw a massive temper-tantrum and threw a bunch of very upsetting and triggering shit at me without my consent because I didn’t agree with them (I’d even put my opinions in tags on MY blog in an attempt to be courteous and not hijack their post with negativity, in hindsight perhaps I should have made my own post in the first place and I do acknowledge that BUT if that’s all they’d said I would have apologised and moved on, quite gladly, there was no need for them to explode the way they did at me for...making a mistake because I’m a stranger on the internet who didn’t know them & wasn’t a mind-reader and I happened to miss a trigger tag that I didn’t think of at the time lmao)

This post is getting awful long and rambly so I'm going to shut up now, but that's my take on it I guess, I hope that's what you were getting at and if it's not I apologise, I've been taking a huge step back and actively just avoiding any and all major posts related to this discourse as of a few months ago because it just infuriates and upsets me too much, it’s not worth the detriment to my mental health, I’m just here to make friends who are also hyperfixated on SWTOR and have fun vibing and talking about our characters, not get into one-sided morality debates with pearl-clutchers. 🤷

#swtor critical #fandom critical #jedi critical #tw: stabbing mention #tw: death threats #tw: genocide mention #elven rants #elven screams into the void #<< vent-y/ranty tags. block these + any specific faction/character criticals if you don't want to see posts like this #i think i've got all the triggers but if i've missed something just approach me like a normal human being and ask me to tag for it #and i will lmao that's literally in my blog's blurb but Some People can't read ig #🤷#i'd even tag some of this as #purity culture bullshit #because imo that's what it boils down to in essence #''love and forgiveness the only morally good pure way to live hee hee anyone who does not do this exactly is Bad and Evil''#i am begging you to find other braincells purity police. and then actually learn to USE THEM. please

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shining-red-diamond · 4 years

Text

Ch. 23: Eye of Horus

Cast of Characters//Ch. 1//Ch. 2//Ch. 3//Ch. 4//Ch. 5//Ch. 6//Ch. 7//Ch. 8//Ch. 9//Ch. 10//Ch. 11//Ch. 12//Ch. 13//Ch. 14//Ch. 15//Ch. 16//Ch. 17//Ch. 18//Ch. 19//Ch. 20//Ch. 21//Ch. 22//Ch. 23//Ch. 24//Ch. 25//Ch. 26//Ch. 27//Ch. 28 (coming soon)

Words: 1.2k

Genre: Fluff, some angst

Pairing: ATEEZ OT8 x OCs

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: brief sensuality, mentions of illness

Soft kisses on her cheek pulled Grace-Anne from her sleep. It was part of Seonghwa’s morning ritual to wake up his fiancée, and he did so by kissing her in various places on her face. Him being so touchy-feely was only saved for Grace-Anne when it was just them alone, and it contrasted with his “no nonsense, serious man” persona. He was still a kind soul, he just wasn’t a fan of PDA except for hand holding. Behind closed doors, he was all over her.

“Good morning,” his deep voice sang softly.

“Hi, you,” Grace-Anne’s morning voice croaked, causing Seonghwa to chuckle. “What time is it?”

“Same time I always wake you: seven in the morning.”

“I figured as much. Are we in Egypt?”

“Come look,” Seonghwa smiled as he motioned for her to come to the window.

Still a little disoriented, Grace-Anne slowly stood from her side of the best and trudged over to see what was happening. Once she glanced outside, she felt fully awake. The sky was a beautiful blue as the sun was still rising, the desert sand a golden hue, and the breathtaking ruins of the pyramids added to the eternal sunny desert. A few men on camels could be seen riding as they led a few more, and a city could be spotted in the distance; but it was on the other side of the pyramids.

“Won’t people notice the ship?” Grace-Anne asked.

“The camouflage is up,” Seonghwa reassured. “So we’ll be okay.”

He kisses her cheek just before she turns to get dressed.

“No good morning kiss?” teased her fiance.

“You already gave me one,” giggled Grace-Anne as she grabbed her clothes from the armoire.

Seonghwa snakes her arms around her, capturing her in an embrace. He kissed right below her earlobe and whispered, “I want a proper kiss.”

Grace-Anne scoffed playfully. “Someone’s needy.”

Turning around in his arms, Grace-Anne pulled him towards her until their lips touched in a warm kiss. Seonghwa had a habit of being sneaky in stealing kisses from the woman he loved, and she always played along with his antics. Sometimes, he’s so sneaky to a point it ends up with the two having laugh attacks. But this morning was just him being romantic and wanting her touch.

“Can I get dressed and make breakfast now?” she requested after breaking the kiss.

Seonghwa sulked but let her go attend to her ship duties. He then busied himself making the bed and packing his bag before meeting with the captain for the daily agenda. Today was one of the days where he packed Grace-Anne’s bag for her as she spent longer in the kitchen this morning, which was not uncommon as she would make Celestia’s specialized meal depending on what everyone else was eating for breakfast.

Once all of the essentials were packed in both bags, Seonghwa made his way to the board room and was surprised to find the captain standing at the corkboard pinning some new information.

“Are you feeling better, captain?” he asked.

“A little,” Hongjoong answered honestly, dark circles under his tired eyes. “My stomach still feels weird, so I’m not sure if I’ll go exploring the pyramids. What I can do right now is give everyone the brief.”

If Hongjoong wasn’t going to lead this exploration, who was going to be in charge? He was typically the one who kept everyone together, so Seonghwa wasn’t sure what he or Yeosang or even Dahae would do if the position was handed over to any of them.

He put the thoughts aside as the rest of the crew piled into the board room, Celestia immediately sitting in one of the chairs.

Hongjoong took a breath before addressing his crewmates. “Good morning,” he smiled weakly. “I hope everyone slept well and has what they need for exploring today. However, I won’t be joining you on this one.”

A few shocked murmurs erupted from the crew, and Dahae was quick to calm them. None of them could wrap their heads around the idea of exploring without their leader. Hongjoong was the one who knew how to keep everyone together, knew his maps, and made the big decisions. The fear of falling apart dangled in the back of their minds.

“I’m still having side effects,” Hongjoong explained, “so I’ll be putting Seonghwa in charge for now.”

The First Mate wasn’t expecting to be the one chosen to lead temporarily, and he didn’t have the map skills Hongjoong had; but he knew San could help him decipher it if he was healed.

“First,” continued the captain as he went over the agenda, “we need to establish the rotation for Celestia’s caregiver during explorations. Who’s going to take the first shift?”

“I’ll stay,” volunteered Phoebe, raising her hand.

“Excellent. Now, I’ve asked Celestia to look over the notes for Egypt, so she’ll be handing those to Seonghwa.”

“I made my own notes as well,” Celestia replied as she handed a sheet of paper to Seonghwa. “It’s just a little cheat sheet of symbols and artifacts mentioned in maps for this location.”

Upon him reading over her notes, Celestia had made bullet points and labeled what each key point meant:

-Ankh: classic hieroglyph used in a lot of fictional storytelling; symbol used for “life” and actually holds a lot of power in Egyptian beliefs -Treasures can vary between different artifacts like vases/pots, jewelry, heirlooms, and blue gold in some cases -Pets were considered sacred treasure to the culture and some royal figures had their pets buried in the tombs with them

Much more had been jotted down, but the thing that stood out to him was three underlined words: Eye of Horus.

“So, are we looking for a tomb or something?” Taeran interrupted, pulling Seonghwa from his thoughts.

“No,” Celestia shook her head. “It’s a secret room that holds all kinds of treasures the great pharaohs of Egypt valued: gold, precious stones, even sacred items. There are symbols of the ankh and Eye of Horus in there somewhere, but it doesn’t say where exactly. Those are where you’ll find the next diamond piece.”

Everyone, including the captain, looked at Seonghwa now to make the next move. It was all new to him now that he was temporarily in charge, but he straightened himself and cleared his throat.

“Thank you, Celestia,” he spoke. “Let’s get everything ready before meeting at the door.”

“And you’re sure you’ll be okay without me?” San asked as he strapped on his backpack.

“San, for the last time,” his wife giggled, “I’ll be okay. Phoebe will be my guardian angel, and Byeol will snuggle with me. Hongjoong will be here, too, but he’ll probably be resting mostly.”

San sighed in defeat. He couldn’t help that he worried about her so much, especially if she were to go into labor when he wasn’t on the ship to attend to her quickly. However, he knew she was in good hands.

“Alright,” he smiled slightly. “I love you, angel. I know I worry to death about you, but I just want you and the baby to be okay and healthy.”

Celestia cups his face and promises, “We’re okay. If something was wrong, you’ll be the first to know.”

His gloved hands went to her swollen waist and pulled her in for a long and deep kiss. He then knelt down to her belly and kissed it before whispering, “You be good for mommy, now. Okay, Princess?”

Tags: @treasure-hwa @ateezlovenet (Let me know if you’d like to be added or removed)

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teenslib · 4 years

Link

IT’S FINALLY DONE! Every year, the Rainbow Book List Committee has more books to review, because literature is slowing getting queerer, and children’s and YA lit are at the forefront of that change. This year, our committee of 13 people had to review nearly 500 eligible titles, and 130 (well, 129) were good enough and queer enough to make the list. There were so many terrific books that we got a special dispensation to create TWO Top Ten lists--the first time the committee has done so! The Top Tens are below, and please visit the link above for the full list.

I’m proud of our committee’s focus on diversity--along lines of race, ethnicity, queer identity, and even genre. At least half of the Top Ten Books for Young Readers and seven of the Top Ten for Teen Readers are about characters of color, and most of those were written by authors of color. We also tried to feature as many different letters of the alphabet soup as possible. I’ve noted the racial and LGBTQIA+ rep for the books that I’ve read.

Here are the Top Ten Books for Young Readers:

Ana on the Edge by Sass, A.J. Ages 8 to 12. Sports Fiction/Figure Skating. MC is nonbinary and Jewish-Chinese-American. Ana is a champion figure-skater. She hates her new princess-themed program, but how can she tell her mother that, when it cost so much money? And why does it bother her so much, anyway? When she finds the word ‘nonbinary,’ she realizes why the program doesn’t fit, but she still has a lot of work to do repairing relationships that have suffered in the meantime.

The Deep & Dark Blue by Smith, Niki. Ages 8 to 12. Fantasy. One of 2 MCs is a trans girl, all characters appear to be Southeast Asian. A pair of twins flee after a political coup that puts their lives at risk. They decide to disguise themselves as Hanna and Grayce, two girls living in the Communion of the Blue, an order of weaving women who spin magic like wool. What one twin doesn’t know is that, for the other, being Grayce isn’t a disguise. This is a beautiful story about self-discovery, acceptance, and affirmation.

Drawing on Walls: A Story of Keith Haring by Burgess, Matthew and Josh Cochran (Illustrator). Ages 6 to 14. Biography. MC is a white gay man. This colorful picture-book biography traces the life and art of Keith Haring.

The Every Body Book: LGBTQ+ Inclusive Guide for Kids about Sex, Gender, Bodies, and Families by Simon, Rachel E. and Noah Grigni (Illustrator). Ages 8 to 12. Nonfiction/Health. Various identities and races included. Filled with self-affirming information, The Every Body Book uses inclusive language, illustrations, and facts to cover a number of important topics for young people including consent, relationships, gender, sex, puberty, and hormones.

King and the Dragonflies by Callender, Kacen. Ages 8 to 12. Realistic Fiction. MC is a gay black boy, his best friend is a gay white boy. King’s family–especially his father–have strong opinions about what it means to be a Black man, and they don’t allow for being gay. But King admires his friend Sandy for escaping an abusive home and living his truth no matter what. If King comes out, too, can his father learn to change?

Magic Fish by Nguyen, Trung Le. Ages 12 and up. Realistic Fiction/Fantasy. MC is a gay Vietnamese-American boy. A young Vietnamese-American boy literally can’t find the words to tell his parents that he’s gay, but cross-cultural fairytales help bridge the language barrier in this beautifully-illustrated graphic novel.

My Maddy by Pitman, Gayle E. and Violet Tobacco (Illustrator). Ages 4-8. Realistic Fiction. MC’s parent is nonbinary, MC and her parent are white. My Maddy is a heartwarming story about a young girl and her parent. Readers learn that not all parents are boys or girls; some parents are just themselves. In this young girl’s case, that parent is her Maddy, a loving, caring parent who lives outside the gender binary.

My Rainbow by Neal, DeShanna, Trinity Neal, and Art Twink (Illustrator). Ages 4-8. Realistic Fiction. MC is an autistic black trans girl. Autistic trans girl Trinity wants to have long hair, but growing it out is too itchy! None of the wigs in the store are quite right, so Mom makes Trinity a special rainbow wig.

Our Subway Baby by Mercurio, Peter and Leo Espinosa (Illustrator). Ages 4 to 8. Adoption Non-fiction. MCs are white gay men, the baby they adopt is Black. Loving illustrations help tell the story of how an infant abandoned in a NYC subway station was adopted by the man who found him and his partner.

Snapdragon by Leyh, Kat. Snapdragon. Ages 10 to 14. Fantasy. Haven’t read this one yet, so I can’t comment on its representation. Snap gets to know the town witch and discovers that she may in fact have real magic and a secret connection to Snap’s family’s past.

And here are the Top Ten Books for Teen Readers:

All Boys Aren’t Blue: A Memoir-Manifesto by Johnson, George M. Ages 14 to 18. Memoir. Author/MC is a gay Black man. “Memoir-manifesto” is a well-chosen label for this book, which relates stories from the author’s childhood and young adulthood and contextualizes them within a queer Black experience. Although the author’s family is loving and supportive, pervasive heteronormativity, queerphobia, and anti-Black racism threaten his mental, emotional, and physical safety.

Camp by Rosen, L.C. Ages 14 and up. Realistic Fiction. MC and his love interest are gay Jewish boys. For Randy, going away to Camp Outland is a breath of fresh air, a time to be exactly who Randy can’t always be at school. But this year will be different. This year, Randy won’t be the flamboyant theater kid, this year Randy will be exactly the type of bro Hudson would want to date. Changing a thing or too will be necessary for Randy to succeed, even if that means leaving some friends behind.

Cemetery Boys by Thomas, Aiden. Ages 13 and up. Paranormal/Romance. MC is a trans Latino, his love interest is a gay Latino. Yadriel accidentally summons the wrong ghost in an attempt to prove himself a real brujo to his family who struggle to accept his gender identity. Though he thinks he is summoning the ghost of his cousin, he actually summons the ghost of Julian Diaz, and finds himself with not one, but two, mysterious deaths to investigate.

Circus Rose by Cornwell, Betsy. Ages 12 and up. Fantasy. One MC is white and one is mixed-race, one is a lesbian and one is questioning. Ivory and Rosie are twins and half-sisters, born to a bearded woman who refused to choose between her lovers, and raised in their mother’s circus. After a long foreign tour, they come home to find themselves under attack by religious zealots. As tragedy follows tragedy, will Ivory be able to save her circus family?

Elatsoe by Little Badger, Darcie and Rovina Cai (Illustrator). Ages 12 and up. Mystery. MC is an aro/ace Lipan Apache girl. In this OwnVoices novel, Elatsoe is on a mission to discover who killed her beloved cousin, and why. If not for her cousin, then she is doing this for her people, the Indigenous Lipan Apache tribe. Elatsoe has the ability to raise ghosts from the dead, a tradition that has been passed down through generations. On this journey it will take vulnerability, wit, and the legends of her people for Elatsoe to understand all that is hidden in the small town of Willowbee.

I’ll Be the One by Lee, Lyla. Ages 13 and up. Realistic Fiction. MC is a bi Korean-American girl, her love interest is a bi Korean boy. Skye Shin dreams of becoming the world’s first plus-sized K-pop star, and a reality TV competition may just be her chance. To win, she’ll have to deal with fatphobic beauty standards, fierce competition, and intense media scrutiny–as well as unexpected attraction to one of her competitors.

Miss Meteor by Mejia, Tehlor Kay and Anna-Marie McLemore. Ages 14 and up. Magical Realism. (I haven’t read this one, but I think both MCs are WLW Latinas.) Lita is a star – literally. After falling to earth several years ago, she’s now living life as a teenage girl. When the annual Miss Meteor pageant rolls around, Lita decides to enter – but will her ex-best friend Chicky be willing to help her? Will the pageant help her forget about the past and imagine a new future? Lita learns that winning isn’t about being perfect, it’s about showing your true self to the world – even the parts that no one else understands.

You Should See Me in a Crown by Johnson, Leah. Ages 12 and up. Realistic Fiction. MC is a black WLW (woman-loving-woman). In this affectionate rom-com, Liz Lighty finds herself an unlikely candidate for prom queen at her affluent suburban school. Shy, awkward, Black, and low-income, Liz has never felt like she belonged, and she can’t wait to leave for her dream college. But when her scholarship falls through, it seems her last resort is to win prom queen, and the scholarship money that comes with it. Liz’s plan is complicated when new girl Mack decides to run for prom queen also…and ends up running away with Liz’s heart.

War Girls by Onyebuchi, Tochi. Ages 12 and up. Science Fiction/Afro-Futurism. Both MCs are Nigerian, one is a WLW. In a not-so-distant future, climate change and nuclear disasters have made much of the earth unlivable. In the midst of war in Nigeria, two sisters, Onyii and Ify, are torn apart and face two very different futures. As their lives progress through years of untold violence and political unrest, battles with deadly mechs and cyborg soldiers outfitted with artificial limbs and organs, they are brought together again and again and must come to terms with how the war has impacted their lives.

When We Were Magic by Gailey, Sarah. Ages 14 and up. Contemporary Fantasy. MC is a white bi/questioning girl with gay dads, her friends are racially, ethnically, and queerily diverse. This firecracker of a novel follows a group of friends who attempt to correct the accidental murder of a classmate. When We Were Magic combines magic, friendship, and awkward moments to create a captivating story. Each character brings their own uniqueness to the strong group of friends, but despite their differences, their loyalty remains. Author Sarah Gailey has written another page turning novel, with the quirky strange content to boot.

#Rainbow Book List #LGBT literature #queer books #queer YA #queer children's books #Book Recommendations #we need diverse books

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parasighting · 4 years

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Top 20 albums of 2020

New place for Parasighting (here you can find the old blog), as it seems that Facebook and several social media platforms in general don’t very much agree with Blogger. Oh well, if we don’t change we die, isn’t that what they say? So, this will be the new place for posts from now on, including the Rodon Underground playlists (that is, if I manage to wrap my head fully around how Tumblr actually works). For now, and as a fitting starting post, here are the best 20 albums of 2020, always in my opinion and always in a mood for fisticuffs:

1. Fontaines D.C. - A Hero's Death

This normally shouldn’t come as a surprise, but it’s not like we haven’t had our fair share of scares in our lifetime when we’re dealing with a sophomore album following after an explosive debut. Last year’s Dogrel gave everyone what they wanted/expected, since basically it was, more or less, a gathering of all the great singles Fontaines D.C. had released in a 2-year period prior to that. As it seems, we are indeed dealing with an absolute gem of a band that, this time around, did anything but staying safe with an already tried-out and successful formula. Instead, they chose to give all weight to feeling, proving their songwriting genius at the same time. A Hero’s Death doesn’t contain intended typical radio hit songs (although it plays a lot on today’s radio, something hopeful for the music industry in general), instead it’s full of meaningful introvert compositions saturated in melody and atmosphere, while Fontaines D.C. themselves, despite their huge and abrupt success the last years, keep a low profile and support their material exemplary. This record is music history, and one to be mentioned for years or even decades from now in music in general.

Listen to A Hero’s Death

2. C.O.F.F.I.N. - Children Of Finland Fighting In Norway

Many have wondered about the air in Australia. Or the water. Or maybe it’s the crazy wildlife that makes one either to be on their toes all day or to “yolo” it like there’s no tomorrow. These lads right here sure seem to be the latter. It would be futile to try and get right now into the history of Australian music and what this country has offered the world, especially when it comes to garage/punk. So, it shouldn’t surprise us that C.O.F.F.I.N. have released this record this year but, then again, uncontainable excitement gets usually mistaken for surprise. It’s not that they had been under the radar or something until now, but Children of Finland Fighting in Norway is the flag all Turbojugends around the world should gather behind this year. This album is the Apocalypse Dudes of the band and, mind you, I’m not talking about copying Turbonegro or anything like that. I’m talking about the spontanity and the pure energy that is emitted here throughout. The band, although they surely step on the foundations of (especially the scandinavian) rock ‘n’ roll history, the final result can’t be mistaken with any other band. A look on the videos the band has put out will give you a total idea that here we’re dealing with original Aussie craziness, and that is something not to be messed with, if you ask me.

Listen to Children of Finland Fighting in Norway

3. Napalm Death - Throes Of Joy in The Jaws Of Defeatism

I don’t think that the name Napalm Death needs much introduction, even to those who have little contact with the extreme sound in general. Pioneers of hardcore punk, grindcore and so many sub-genres at their birth, they have been shaping much of the contemporary extreme music scene through the years. And, in order for this to be achieved, it couldn’t be without constant musical unrest and experimentation. Shane Embury & co returned in 2020 with their 16th album, in which they push their (and music’s in general) boundaries to new territories. Of course, this in no way means that it is a soft or mellow record, even for Napalm Death standards. Instead, the band incorporates even more diverse elements from bands that one could say have been their followers, only to prove once again that they are the true pioneers. Throes of Joy in the Jaws of Defeatism is a full record where something exciting happens each minute, and this is the chance for any listener that (maybe has been living in a cave up until now and) hasn’t yet captured the grandeur that a band like Napalm Death exhales.

Listen to Throes of Joy in the Jaws of Defeatism

4. All Them Witches - Nothing as the Ideal

What is “rock” anyway? If there was a faceless recipe, then everyone would be able to just follow the rules and do it. Instead, through the over-production in today’s music, it’s damn hard to find something original and spontaneous, as most bands can’t do anything better than copying a “recipe” or reverse-engineering their idols, at best. And this is why bands like All Them Witches shine brightly and justly from within the pile. Nothing as the Ideal elegantly showcases that this band basically carries a significant amount of all the weight of today’s rock music. Yes, they started off having been labeled as “stoner” or “desert” or whatever, but the signs were always there. Dying Surfer Meets His Maker was the first blast, but, with this one, All Them Witches establish themselves among the leaders. After all, how can you go wrong with a band that sounds better playing live than on their studio recordings?

Listen to Nothing as the Ideal

5. Hurula - Jehova

It’s safe to say that the name Robert Petersson is nothing short of a landmark when it comes to Swedish punk. Showcasing some fine moments of hardcore skate-punk with Epileptic Terror Attack, hardcore rock ‘n’ roll with Regulations, melodic punk with Masshysteri (among others), finally Hurula is his personal musical vehicle, where he is in absolute command of everything. And, although this is already his fourth full-length release and, thus, it’s not like we had no idea about the potential, Jehova proves to be his grand opus so far, in a sort of unexpected way. The general orchestration remains “rock”, but the multiple melodic layers all over make for a unique experience for the listener who is not limited within specific musical genres or styles. The Swedish lyrics throughout might make it a bit unaccessible to many, but don’t let this minor detail keep you from discovering an incredible record.

Listen to Jehova

6. Wailin Storms - Rattle

Wailin Storms are a “where had they been hiding up until now?” case. Although they released their debut album not before 2015, Rattle is already their fourth one, and what a kick in the head it was for me discovering them last year! Going through their discography in retrospect, one should not be surprised, of course. The North Carolina rockers always carried their certain and specific type of lyricism amid their heavy and, at times, almost noise/sludge guitars. Fitting all this alongside the mystical atmosphere and Justin Storms’ agonizing vocals, the speakers exhale a strangely attractive as well as condemning dark beauty through the speakers. Many things come to mind as to what one could say Wailin Storms sound like through their definitely personal identity; in my ears, it’s kind of like the Black Angels jamming with Unsane and smoking whatever Electric Wizard passed them through. If this doesn’t make you want to check out Rattle, I have no idea what could.

Listen to Rattle

7. The Hawkins - Silence Is A Bomb

All those that know me, also know what a huge sucker for swedish rock ‘n’ roll I am. But, ever since the great scandinavian rock ‘n’ roll revolution by Gods like the Hellacopters and Gluecifer started to happen, a lot of things have also happened in the meantime. Especially to the younger rockers, the aforementioned bands now carry a “classic rock” label, but then again that kind of makes sense if you were born around the years Supershitty to the Max! was released. Time for the new generation to show what they’re worth, then. Through the flood of copycat and mediocre bands (justifiably, in a way), luckily from time to time there will be one or two cases to stand out, and these four kids from Arboga, Sweden surely make the cut. Although their debut album three years back was definitely a beautifull high-energy record, Silence Is a Bomb is what adds a special kind of maturity in rock ‘n’ roll, while still maintaining its edge. The Hawkins take their Hellacopters, but they also add several doses of Queen in them, maybe making the final mix too soft for purists; but who cares about them anyway?

Listen to Silence Is a Bomb

8. Chubby & the Gang - Speed Kills

It feels like nothing short of a fresh breath of life, a feeling that there is still hope in this damn world, when debuts like this one right here appear out of nowhere. Chubby & the Gang are just some kids from West London who, with Speed Kills, give you, if not something else, a feeling that here we’ve struck pure gold. Carrying a hardcore tone, apart from that they’re just a bunch of absolutely fresh and fun punk rock ‘n’ rollers, and, if this is not exactly what we need these days, I just don’t know what is. With gang vocals throughout the whole record and with the average running track time below two minutes, this band has automatically climbed near the top of my bucket list of bands I want to see live at first chance.

Listen to Speed Kills

9. This Is Nowhere - Grim Pop

Plainly put: In a fair world, This Is Nowhere would be globally greeted as one of the greatest bands of today’s psychedelic heavy rock; and this is not an exaggeration. Then again, them being from Greece and their members being scattered in three different countries are not factors that objectively help. Even at that, it’s astonishing how they’ve obviously achieved a certain chemistry between them through the years in order to achieve such a feat, like Grim Pop definitely is. Their two previous albums contained a significant amount of all the mystical energy the band emits on stage, but, if you ask me, there was always something missing; something I couldn’t quite put my finger on. Well, with Grim Pop, it’s like everything is finally falling into place. This Is Nowhere have irrevocably and definitively left terms like “stoner” or “psychedelic rock” behind; instead they have unrepentantly dived into the ‘60s, distorted everything they found there through their personal prism and created an inviting sound vortex ready to suck you into its very own black hole. Who cares if we never return?

Listen to Grim Pop

10. Στράφι (Strafi) - Παραδομένοι στη Γιορτή (Paradomeni sti Giorti)

If you asked me some years back, I could never imagine myself including a street punk record in a yearly music list. I have to admit that Strafi being from my hometown Larissa played its role; but this role played a part only for me to take note of them. Because genre-wise, the band’s sophomore release is just perfect. Having gone over the somewhat general “shyness” of their beautiful debut album, here the band presents an absolutely confident and sturdy face. The sound production contains no faults, the compositions are meaningful and inspired, the lyrics carry a level of poetry rarely found in the genre (and yes, one would have to speak Greek in order to enjoy them, unfortunately for many). Really, this is one of the cases that there’s not much to be said, as music takes over all the talking. We need more music coming straight from the heart, and Strafi are here to deliver exactly this.

Listen to Παραδομένοι στη Γιορτή

11. Minerva Superduty - In Public

Another Greek entry, one that the world definitely has to discover. I find it a bit strange how Minerva Superduty started their discography, which was with an instrumental metal record that, amid its creativity, left the listener with a somewhat lack of closure and fullness. 2016′s Gorod Zero came to showcase a new potential for the band, and In Public, coming just days before last year’s end, fulfilled this potential to the fullest; well, until their next album, at least. Minerva Superduty merge their mathcore foundations with Converge-like hardcore and, under just 20 minutes, they deliver the absolute soundtrack for the chaos 2020 has left the world with. Do not let this gem pass by.

Listen to In Public

12. Yovel - Forthcoming Humanity

Blackmetal is a genre that has been through a lot. Of course, through its extremity, it has given way to experimentations that could never have taken place within other kinds of music but, on the other hand, this very extremity has always served as a twisted fortress for far-right and generally fascist ideologies. Yovel emerged in 2018 to rectify this problem and restore part of blackmetal’s infamy. Hɪðəˈtu had made clear of these intentions of the band, but Forthcoming Humanity drops like a milestone to declare that this was anything but a one-time wonder. Yovel take blackmetal forms and orchestrations but add atmospheric (not shoegazey) elements borrowed from folk music and create a concept album that speaks loudly against racism, fascism, bigotry, oppression. Interludes dressed with poetry and melody give place to wrecking sound outbursts and, if there is one thing they do, that’s passing on the message clearly and successfully. Yovel are here to stay, and that’s one encouraging thing about extreme music today.

Listen to Forthcoming Humanity

13. Oily Boys - Cro Memory Grin

Ahh Australia again. And a debut that has surely turned heads. Oily Boys come from Sydney and this is their hopeful debut, that being an understatement. This new band delivers an outburst of a record, bringing to mind New York hardcore at one time, taking you to sick psychedelic noise rock at the next. It all feels so cold and unhospitable in here, yet something urges you to look at it straight in the eyes. Of course, there are a lot of Converge elements in here, but this never stays in that place, as, before you know it, it jumps to post-punk and to other experimental lengths, always maintaining a chaos that may be baffling but, then again, you don’t exactly want for it to fall into order. Fans of Old Man Gloom will also find many things they like in here. Bizarre listen for bizarre times. It’s an uncomfortability we just cannot ignore.

Listen to Cro Memory Grin

14. The Good the Bad and the Zugly - Algorithm & Blues

The Norwegians with the funny and long name (one can only wonder after how many beers it was conceived) struck for the fourth time in 2020. Although their debut Anti-World Music in 2013 made an impact in the scene breathing Turbonegro with a hardcore twist, personally I can’t say the same for the next two albums; it always felt to me that something was amiss. Maybe it was that humor was taking over a bit too much or something. Mind you, the Good the Bad and the Zugly are not a joke band by any chance, but the playful sarcastic elements were always a basic ingredient in their overall sound. Coming on to Algorithm & Blues then, I think this time around thay have managed to balance it all out perfectly. With Ivar Nikolaisen being the lead vocalist of the mighty Kvelertak for a couple of years now, this might be a factor that has made the band mature compositionally. Algorithm & Blues is more melodic, more substantial, more sing-along-y, but it never loses its humorous charm, preserving the band’s identity. And with song titles like “Fuck the Police” and “The Kids Are Alt-Right”, you know they’re also on the right side.

Listen to Algorithm & Blues

15. Pallbearer - Forgotten Days

One of the most tired genres of extreme music is definitely doom metal. Ever since the “stoner” plague came into existence, the world has been saturated with kids that, discovering the pentatonic scale, thought they were the new messiahs drowning us in a sea of boredom. It was not all bad of course, but, having to surf through oceans of mediocrity in order to find something that stands out, can be quite tiresome. Pallbearer from Little Rock, Arkansas surely did stand out at the start of the last decade but I think it’s taken them a while to perfect their craft. Alas, Forgotten Days. The monster riff that starts off the opening title-track is more than enough to set the mood straight. Black Sabbath riffology, Candlemass atmospheres, even Electric Wizard and Cathedral hooks; all done in a modern manner breathing life into the genre which, with bands like Pallbearer, can look hopefully into the future. The incredible cover artwork and the lamentful lyrical themes revolving around family loss surely add to the big picture. This is the definite release of 2020 for doom fans.

Listen to Forgotten Days

16. Video Nasties - Dominion

Another debut of another band to definitely watch out for. Video Nasties from UK start off looking like they know exactly what they’re out for. The whole image is brought out from ‘80s horror video tapes and this is enhanced by the movie samples all over the place paying homage to John Carpenter. Musically, here we have some exceptional death/black ‘n’ roll, and what a pleasure it is when done right. Yes, the band takes a lot from Swedish melodic deathmetal but, to my relief, they surely sound like they detest metalcore and its sub-genres as much as I do. Dominion is an absolutely enjoyable record that flows beautifully, always maintaining its theme and atmosphere and calling for repeat plays. Fans of death, black, thrash and extreme genres in general will surely feel at home here. Sometimes it’s as simple as that.

Listen to Dominion

17. The Frights - Everything Seems Like Yesterday

The Frights from San Diego, California started in 2013 as garage surf punks carrying their own distinct feeling and melody. They were always enjoyable with the lyrical themes being more esoteric, something that set them apart from the usual stuff in the genre. At first, the songs of Everything Seems Like Yesterday were intended to be released by the band’s main man Mikey Carnevale as a solo effort, but something apparently changed his mind. Many were obviously surprised by this new acoustic direction the name Frights has taken, but, setting aside specific expectations, the best thing one has to do is appreciate the artistic worth independently. And how rewarded they’ll be doing that with this album! Everything Seems Like Yesterday is a beautiful introvert, substantial and entirely acoustic album, ideal to keep you company after a hangover or through many types of hard times. It’s one of those times that this type of quiet sounds just liberating.

Listen to Everything Seems Like Yesterday

18. Umbra Vitae - Shadow of Life

With Jacob Bannon from Converge and Jon Rice from Uncle Acid & the Deadbeats on board, here we’re dealing with nothing short of a super project. And especially when Bannon (apart from all his many other musical projects) decides to venture into death/black metal areas, this is absolutely something you don’t want to miss. Shadow of Life is anything but your average deahmetal fix, and it demands your undivided attention throughout. Explosive in its grim and dark temperament, and with stunning artwork dressing it perfectly, this is an album that grabs you by the throat. Not that you haven’t offered it willingly in the first place.

Listen to Shadow of Life

19. Idles - Ultra Mono

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for many years, there is no way that you’re ignorant on the Idles phenomenon. After Brutalism and Joy as an Act of Resistance, I don’t know what we all expected from them. It’s not the easiest task to surpass two albums that have set new standards in today’s punk music (”punk” being used as broadly as possible, as a term). And, to put it bluntly, Ultra Mono doesn’t do anything like that, like, it would be something impossible, especially so soon. Then again, Idles are a band just incapable of releasing a bad record and, although it didn’t make it to the top spots of 2020′s list, Ultra Mono is an Idles-trademarked sharp and edgy album (musically and politically) that preserves them at the top where they indicate to the rest of the world where music is going.

Listen to Ultra Mono

20. Protomartyr - Ultimate Success Today

Protomartyr from Detroit have always served their unique blend of post-punk. In Ultimate Success Today, they continue their gloomy journey in symphony with this dark world. Joe Casey, always carrying a Nick-Cave-like vibe in his tone, delivers his grim lyrics atop the heavy basslines, the strange drumbeats and the almost free-jazz saxophone. Always melancholic and dystopic, Protomartyr is the band this world needs and deserves.

Listen to Ultimate Success Today

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randomrainman · 4 years

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american conservatism and the minds of people: a black man’s perspective.

Hi, it is I.

I often think long and hard about the mind states of the people around me, and my inevitable conclusion is that the vast majority of people are monumentally and irrevocably fucking stupid. As it turns out, people have a really hard time letting go of things with which they have grown familiar or fond, and therein lies the basic principle of conservative thought.

“But aren’t some things okay to keep?”

Well, obviously, not everything needs to be thrown out in order for improvement to occur. In the Army, we have things labelled “sustains” and “improves”. The two terms are pretty self-explanatory (as are most things in the military): sustains are the things that work, and the improves are the things you either completely nix or need to, erm, improve. Of course, this begs a question: as it relates to a society of living, (mostly) breathing human beings, how does this apply?

"Don’t throw out the baby with the bath water,” it is commonly said. I am not entirely sure who was throwing away bathing children, but that’s a discussion for a different time. The baby in this idiomatic expression is whatever it is we are supposed to be maintaining. Let’s start with an example: police.

Obviously, it is entirely infeasible to literally abolish police. We absolutely need the police force as an institution, and good and effective policing is a pillar to a modern, functional society. However, we can abolish unprofessional, unnecessarily violent, racist, or otherwise unbecoming behaviour from police departments, and also demonstrate that such things are intolerable and met with appropriate punishments every time these rules are broken. NWA didn’t make “Fuck The Police” because they wanted to express interest in having thoroughly arresting cop sex; it exists because they don’t trust the police.

youtube

Above: An Autistic Swedish dude spitting shockingly accurate commentary-by-proxy about American society. Flames!

Due possibly in part to dubiously worded slogans such as “defund the police”, modern conservatives balk at the thought of changing anything of significance about how policing in many communities in the United States is conducted, even going as far as to label the reform for which we call as an attack on the very idea of police.

That said, historically, the very pillars of police forces in the United States have their foundations in slavery and post-slavery racist institutions, which means that, while much has changed on the surface, the way police implement policy reflects structural and societal racism. As a result, simply attacking individual instances of misconduct will almost always fail to elicit any meaningful progress, which is why some do seek to dismantle police departments (an option I cannot fathom as being realistic, especially not in the short term).

The lack of a centralised police organisation from which to implement policy certainly does not help, and while some police departments, to include the Department of Justice itself, have introduced implicit bias training, it would appear that change was difficult to measure. Additionally, many police departments have not addressed the more overt problem of explicit racism in law enforcement, which is a nigh-impossible thing to tackle expeditiously without a top-down structure to deal with it. It has improved steadily overall, however, but not without significant disapproval...

Pictured: “disapproval”. A civil rights demonstrator is attacked by a police dog in Birmingham, Ala., in 1963. (Photo credit: AP)

The Origins

As I noted earlier, there is plenty of shit people want to keep, and most for relatively understandable reasons -- after all, those things provide a sense of familiarity. “It’s always been this way -- why change it?” they ask. One needs only to look at our, um, flowery history to see countless examples of things that required change...

The transatlantic slave trade transported up to 12 million forcibly enslaved Africans to the Americas, many of whom arrived in what is now the United States. As unspeakably horrifying as the actual journey was, this was only the beginning of the tribulations that would befall the slaves and their descendants in the future.

While Europeans played a large part in introducing the idea of race-based caste systems into colonised lands, the American brand of discrimination is different in the fact that the idea that Blacks and Native Americans were genetically inferior to whites was endemic to our inception, and thus, formed the basis of the things enshrined into American democracy.

Photo credit: Alexander Gardner / Wikimedia Commons

Abraham Lincoln entered the chat.

Naturally, having someone even so much as threaten the idea of racial dominance after literal fucking centuries of treating Black people as property did not sit well with the slave-owning populace (even if Lincoln’s motives were not exactly altruistic). While the Southern states did in fact operate an agrarian economy heavily dependent on chattel slavery, it was that notion of superiority combined with societal comfort they felt that ultimately catalysed the secession of the Southern states from the Union...

Pictured: Civil War reenactors (from the Confederate side) simulate the Battle of Antietam, the bloodiest battle in US history. Also, why the fuck is Civil War reenactment a popular thing to do? It’s deeply weird. (Photo credit: MPRNews.org)

...and then they decided to have the deadliest fucking war in American history over that comfort. Spoiler alert: the Confederates lost both the war and their precious bullshit institution of slavery -- but even after the Emancipation Proclamation was issued, many Southern slave owners did not even pass the news of freedom to their slaves for months.

In keeping with the preservationist and racist mindset which occupied most Southerners’ brains, any attempt to integrate Black people into society during the Reconstruction period was stymied at every turn. To them, despite Black people being de jure full citizens in accordance with the Civil Rights Act of 1866, we were still subhuman. Due to Jim Crow laws, Ku Klux Klan terrorism, and other assorted nonsense, we made virtually no progress toward equality until the Civil Rights Movement and resulting laws such as the Civil Rights Act of 1964, the Voting Rights Act of 1965, and the Fair Housing Act of 1968.

“Well, you got what you wanted! YOU’RE EQUAL! Quit yer bitchin’!”

Ah, if only things worked that way in real life. As previously noted, even if things are codified into law as changes, there are still people who try really hard to keep everything exactly the fucking same, so it does not end up happening in practice. Things such as residual effects of redlining and continuing disproportionate and excessive imprisonment of minorities, amongst other issues, still affect people in the present day. In other areas, people exploit loopholes in order to lawfully discriminate against others they might deem “undeserving”.

Lots of things, especially when it comes to role of minorities in society, have historical precedents. When arguing said precedents with conservative types, the conversation almost always leads to one of several (predictable) conclusions: the person believes that 1) negative historical events (e.g., slavery, Native American genocide, etc.) were not that bad; 2) those things did not happen at all; or 3) those things were bad, but somehow do not affect modern society.

Obviously, all three are emphatically wrong. This is why typical conservative behaviour, even in this modern era in which information sharing is instantaneous, does not surprise me: often, the rhetoric is not rooted in reality, and often resorts to appeals to emotions to elicit a knee-jerk response. This is not to say that this does not occur on liberal ends of the spectrum, but modern conservative rhetoric is rooted primarily in unjustified fear of change and anti-intellectualism.

Pictured: A screenshot I took of someone on a pro-President Biden post desperately trying to be oppressed.

This kind of shit is utterly exhausting. Neoconservatism, in a nutshell, is people literally inventing problems and subsequently getting angry at their own creations. It is the equivalent of setting up a bear trap, immediately stepping in it, and wondering why the fuck you’re stuck in said bear trap and your foot doesn’t work anymore. During the Obama administration, the only thing I would witness is people insisting (without any evidence, of course) that President Obama was the Antichrist and that he would usher in the New World Order and take everyone’s guns. All zero of those things happened, of course, but when Donald Trump assumed the presidency, the rhetoric completely reversed, and he was named “God’s chosen" by evangelical figures, despite him having broken perhaps all of the Old Testament’s Ten Commandments. Of course, as you can see with the above screenshot, clearly, they have returned to the Obama bitching method, but diminished, partially because President Biden is also an old, white male, and they don’t need to ask where he was born.

Pictured: what happens when you fuel millions of self-victimising people with QAnon conspiracy theories and possibly loads of Bang energy drinks. Photo credit: ABC News

The hypocrisy is absolutely palpable amongst these types of people, and if I tried to sit here and continued to provide examples of conservative figures contradicting themselves, I would die either of old age or myocardial infarction, whichever happened first. The difference in the reaction to Black Lives Matter protests versus the storming of the U.S. Capitol on January 6, 2021 makes the double standard quite transparent: justice and equality, while technically codified into law, are clearly are not administered equally in modern-day America. We’re still not like the others.

Our brand of conservatism, by and large, is the enemy of those two very important American ideals.

|the kid|

#conservatism #conservative #liberal #Donald Trump #Joe Biden #President of the United States #creative writing #article #political ideology #critical thinking

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shazzeaslightnovels · 4 years

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Toradora! 2

Author: Yuyuko Takemiya

Illustrator: Yasu

Label: Dengeki Bunko

Release Date: 25 May 2006

My Score: 4/5

English Release: Seven Seas Entertainment is currently publishing this series is English so please check it out if you are interested in the series.

This volume starts on the last day of Golden Week. Taiga has been basically living at Ryuuji’s house and has been eating there and going grocery shopping with him pretty much every day. She’s also introduced him to the cafe where Minori works and he keeps on requesting to go there to see her. They go there and they happen to meet Kitamura, his parents and Ami, the cover heroine for this volume. Ami is a super model and is Kitamura’s childhood friend. She seems like a really nice person to most people but is quick to drop the act and behave vilely to people she doesn’t like and she really doesn’t like Taiga.

Ami’s the kind of character who would suck in real life but is really fun to watch and read about. She’s just such a bitch and I love her for it. I really enjoyed seeing Taiga bring out this side of Ami that’s really repulsive but is also far more honest and courageous than her usual self and I loved seeing the ways they insulted each other (”oh, look, doesn’t this piece of trash remind you of Ami?” “Ah, this is such a tiny piece of trash, it sure does look like Taiga.” XD). I also love the way she sometimes refers to herself as “Ami-chan”. It’s just a fun character quirk and I now have the headcanon that Ami is a Rei Hino fan.

This volume also contains the short story “The Palmtop Tiger of Happiness” which focuses on a 1st-year member of the student council who has yet to make any friends. There’s an urban legend at school where if you touch the palmtop tiger, you will gain happiness, and the first-year is determined to do just that. It’s rather amusing the see our main characters through the eyes of someone who knows nothing about them but I didn’t find the story all that memorable in the end.

Overall, this was a very good and entertaining volume. The reason I didn’t rate it a full 5/5 stars is because, again, all of Taiga and Ryuuji’s protests that they are in no way a romantic couple, makes me want to hope that they do not become one, even though I know better from watching the anime. Like, Taiga and Ryuuji are a good ship but my aromantic heart just wants them to be platonic found family. There also some jokes about Ami’s weight that didn’t age well.

Adaptation Notes:

Episodes 3 & 4 of the anime are either anime original or side stories from the spin-off volumes or adapted from a later volume. Both episodes help the viewer to understand why Ryuuji and Taiga like Minori and Kitamura so I’m glad they added those plots. As a result, the anime adaptation for this volume is coverd in episodes 5-6. First off, a scene where Taiga puts her finger in Inko’s beak and gets it stuck is cut, and it’s changed so that Minori isn’t working at the cafe on the day they meet Ami. Given that Minori’s presence didn’t change much in that scene, this is an understandable cut to save time, especially given that episode 3 covered Minori’s array of part-time jobs anyway. Then it’s changed so that Ami and Kitamura did not come to the cafe to eat with Kitamura’s parents. In the light novel, Ami does not attack the stalker when she sees him following while they’re doing the volunteer clean-up. Instead, she finally tells Kitamura about her stalker and discusses it together with the rest of the gang and they come up with a plan that they put into action the next day to catch the stalker in the act and photograph him so Ryuuji goes out with Ami while Kitamura, Taiga and Minori follow them. It goes horribly wrong when Minori is called into work and Kitamura and Taiga fall in a ditch. Afterwards, things go pretty much like the anime where Ami confronts him and she goes to Ryuuji’s house afterwards to calm down. By the way, in this scene in the light novel, Ami is still wearing her school uniform, not a tank top and shorts like she does in the anime. Their conversation is changed quite a bit but retains the meaning. Interesting to note that Ami tells Ryuuji that Kitamura has someone that he romantically likes in the light novel. Despite the changes, this is still a faithful adaptation and I love a lot of the gags and faces.

While there is an episode of the anime entitled “The Palmtop Tiger of Happiness”, the plot is very different and I wouldn’t call it an adaptation of the short story.

Interestingly, the manga follows the anime’s lead with the climax of this volume and makes it so that Ami attacks the stalker during the clean-up scene, but it keeps Ami in her school uniform for her conversation with Ryuuji at the end. Otherwise, a couple of interactions were cut, mostly scenes where Minori comforts Taiga, but it is very faithful to the original light novel. A lot of good gags and funny faces here as well.

Will be reading volume 4 soon.

#Toradora #Yuyuko Takemiya #Yasu #Dengeki Bunko #January 2021 #4 stars

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ladyautie · 4 years

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get to know me more!

@funyasm tagged me and I’m bored after writing my chapter, so here it is!

✨ what do you prefer to be called name wise?

My name’s Sophie. My friends call me Spencou or Spence. We met on a Role-Playing game forum where I played a character named Spencer. We’re used to call each other by our characters’ names and nicknames, most of the time. My brother calls me Sis’.

✨ when is your birthday?

15th november 1993.

✨ where do you live?

Paris, France.

✨ three things you are doing right now?

I’m watching an episode of AT4W on youtube, scrolling on Tumblr and I’m drinking a coffee.

✨ four fandoms that have piqued your interest right now?

Definitely It and especially Eddie Kaspbrak and the ship Reddie. I’m kinda obsessed right now, writing fanfic, reading fanfic, daydreaming about it and all.

I just played the Last of Us 2 and I’m currently watching a let’s play from my favorite youtubers, Mari and Stacy from Geek Remix. I’ll probably read a few fics as well.

The tv show Barry (HBO) is a definite special interest for me. I’m probably going to watch it all once again real soon and I’m planning on writing a fanfic or two in the future. I’m dying for the third season to come.

Finally, I’m probably going to be super into The Umbrella Academy once again, when the second season will be released. I’m just really into Vanya, Klaus and Allison and I can’t wait to see more of them.

✨ how is the pandemic treating you?

None of the people I know have been contaminated, so I’m lucky about that. I’m not quarantined anymore, back to work, and the transition is not easy.

I feel like I’m more openly autistic than I used to be and that I can’t stand the rest of the world for a long period of time. I’ve experienced multiple meltdowns and shutdowns and I have real difficulties to socialize with most people or to focus on my work.

I feel incredibly naked and vulnerable whenever I’m leaving my flat without my mask on, so I think that’s definitely something I’m gonna have to work on in the future.

Leaving Paris and meeting my folks for my mother’s wedding, I found myself surrounded by people who mostly didn’t care about the virus, kissing each other on the cheek in true french fashion to say hello, hugging, not wearing a mask, not respecting any kind of social distance.

I was quickly overwhelmed by all of that, plus the noise, and I had to isolate myself in my parents’ car, sobbing hysterically and willing to suffer in a overheated car if it meant having a bit of peace.

There are definitely going to be long-term consequences. I can only hope that my physical health will remain okay, though.

✨ song you can’t stop listening right now?

Keep On by Sasha Sloan. I just really love the lyrics and the message.

✨ recommend a movie.

Whenever I have to think of a movie to recommend, Frank by Lenny Abrahamson is the first one that comes to my mind. This movie is an obsession for me since the first time I watched it and I often find myself watching it again and again. Despite its heavy subjects, it’s definitely a comfort movie for me.

Too often, movies featuring mentally ill characters will aim for the characters to “get better”, which doesn’t mean for them to find healthy ways to cope with their issues, but usually for them to look more “neurotypical-like”, if you know what I mean. Frank doesn’t go that way at all. On the contrary, it pushes the viewer to empathize with the main characters and to understand their point of view, their way of being.

It’s so incredibly comforting to watch a movie featuring mental illness realistic and not romanticized and to have the movie say “you’re different and you have issues, but you’ll find your tribe someday and be able to find your own happiness, even if it’s unconventional by society’s standards”.

I don’t know, I just have so much feelings about this movie. Plus the music slaps, the humor is hilarious (kudos to the random French guy who can perfectly understand English but refuses to utter a single word if it’s not in French) and the actors are truly on point (I can only salute Domnhall Gleeson, among everyone else who is also worthy of praise, because he definitely managed to make me hate his character in a way I almost never hated a character before).

Watch it!

✨ how old are you?

I’m 26 years old.

✨ school, university, occupation, other?

I used to be a librarian, but I couldn’t find a stable job in this field, so I passed an entrance examination and I’m now working in the tax administration. Yeah, not really glamorous, but it pays the bills and I’m accommodated for my disability, so it helps.

✨ do you prefer hot or cold?

Definitely cold. When I was a kid, I used to swim in mountain lakes, at temperatures close to 13° celsius, and I still take my showers mostly cold. I can’t stand heat, I get headaches very easily when it’s sunny and I’m getting confused easily whenever it’s too hot. I recently had a nosebleed at work so intense that I found myself spitting blood (it went better once I got a fan, making the temperature bearable).

✨ name one fact others may not know about you.

I used to be allergic to my own sweat when I was around 18, until my early twenties. Whenever I was doing a mild physical effort or getting stressed out, I would get hives and itchy skin rash all over my whole freaking body, which was so exhausting that I would fall asleep immediately as soon as the rash was gone.

It disappeared as suddenly as it appeared, without me ever doing something about it. I still don’t know why I experienced that and if I’m going to experience that ever again. I hope not.

✨ are you shy?

My autism makes social interactions complicated, but I’d say I’m mostly impaired by my social anxiety and the various traumas I’m dealing with daily.

Traumas I got after having been bullied pretty badly by kids and teachers during my school years, my stepfather being borderline abusive and different traumatic experiences, including my childhood crush dying from a ski accident when I was 15 or so (and me never being able to tell him that I loved him) and people betraying me so many times that I can’t even recall every little thing.

As a result, I find myself doubting constantly that I’m worthy of love, affection and respect and I often wonder when I’ll do or say the “wrong” thing that will cause me to lose everyone I care about. I also have a hard time knowing who I am and, as a result, allowing everyone to know who I am as well.

I often don’t know what to say and will find myself keeping my mouth shut, even on topics I’m knowledgeable about, because I’m scared of people shutting me down, among other things. My friends make it easier for me to talk about things I like and all, but I’m still heavily doubting myself.

I try to challenge myself regularly. I’ll force myself to take part in events that are taxing or that are forcing me to perform in front of people. That’s how I found myself taking part in the casting part of the french equivalent of “American Idol” (I merely met the pre-judges, but I did manage to sing my whole song in front of them). I needed to prove to myself that I could do it.

✨ do you have any preferred pronouns?

I’m using she/her, but I don’t mind people using they/them to talk about me if they don’t want to be gender-specific.

✨ any pet peeves?

I hate how people can freely and openly be homophobic, racist, ableist, transphobic, sexist and so on, but as soon as I open my mouth to let them know that what they said/did wasn’t appropriate, I’m labelled as one of those “hysterical feminists” or a “party pooper”. s/ Sorry if your antisemitic joke isn’t making me laugh, my “dear” colleague... /s I hate whenever people infantilize me, especially my mom. She’s still keeping an eye on my bank account, despite me telling her that I didn’t want her to do so again and again. I don’t dare to block her out, because I’m scared of her emotional reaction. I hate the ugliest parts of fandom, notably the obsession with “who’s topping / who’s bottoming” whenever there’s a gay pairing or the racism / ableism / transphobia / homophobia I’ve witnessed again and again.

I don’t dare to engage in the Last of Us 2 fandom because of that and the way some people describe the character of Abby (a very muscular woman), focusing on her physical appearance and calling her awful names (being downright transphobic when they thought that she was the transgender character that Naughty Dog announced there would be in their game).

✨ what’s your favorite “dere” type?

I had to google it, because aside from Yandere and Tsundere, I didn’t know a thing about it. I guess you could say I’m a Dandere (someone who is quiet and asocial. They are afraid to talk, fearing that what they say will get them in trouble.).

My favorite type is Kuudere though, when it comes to anime in particular (someone who is calm and collected on the outside, and never panics. They show little emotion, and in extreme cases are completely emotionless, but may be hiding their true emotions. They tend to be leaders who are always in charge of a situation.).

My favorite anime character, Kiyotaka Ayanokōji from the anime Classroom of the elite, is the most extreme case I can think about. He’s completely expressionless for most of the anime, talks with a very dull voice and it’s impossible to know what he’s thinking about at all times or what’s his overall plan. His hidden depth makes him all the more fascinating. He managed to keep me interested in a mostly meh anime.

✨ rate your life 1-10. 1 being really crappy and 10 being the best you could ever be.

It’s a bit hard, but somewhere around 5 or 6? I went through tons of crap in my life but I’m still here and able to live on my own, even if my quality of life isn’t all that good. I live with nearly daily suicidal thoughts since I was a teenager and have to compose with my meltdowns and anxiety attacks as well. I feel “other” most of the time and I can’t relate to most people I’m meeting and interacting with, which can sometimes feel very lonely.

On the other hand, I have wonderful friends who are willing to put up with my trauma crap and are overall amazing to talk to and be around. I have a cat I love dearly. They’re the reason why I’m still alive to this day, giving me a reason to say fuck off to my suicidal thoughts.

✨ what’s your main blog?

My main blog is Ladyautie and is about autism. I have another blog, reddie-4-more, focusing on the It movies and Eddie Kaspbrak and Richie Tozier.

✨ is there anything you think people need to know about you before becoming friends with you?

So, uh, don’t be weirded out by the kind of things I can tell you about my past. Even if it seems a lot, all of it is definitely true.

For example, I was almost kidnapped when I was around 8 or 9 by a random guy, while I was camping with my father.

My father and my paternal grandmother actually kidnapped me and my brother when I was around two and I stayed with him until the social workers determined that my mother had to raise us again because our well-being and overall life were threatened.

Lots of events of my life seem far-fetched or out of a movie / a book or something and I had people telling me that I must be lying or that I’m over-exaggerating, something that always hurts deeply.

I’m terribly awkward and more or less openly autistic, so you’re definitely going to notice something different about me. I can’t change for you and I’m not willing to hide my traits only to make you feel more comfortable about frequenting me, so if you can’t handle my socially anxious and disabled ass, then just leave.

I need people to actually tell me what they think or feel. I’m very “first degree” and I’m pretty bad at guessing what people are thinking about. Don’t be afraid to be frank.

Finally, never, and I mean never, infantilize me. I’m a 26 years old woman. I’m not a kid.I’m fine with my friends offering to help or making sure that I’m okay or so, but never assume that I don’t understand something and don’t force your help on me if I say that I’m okay.

That’s it, those who want to take part in this exercise, don’t hesitate!

#tag game #not entirely autism related #suicide mention

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headfullofstories · 4 years

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Truly Monstrous Luck - part 5

I stand outside of the 6 story red brick apartment complex where Justin lives. Yvonne brought me to the bank earlier to get a new debit card so I could take the subway by myself, but I ended up asking her to come with, anyways. I didn’t want to be around all those people alone yet; I’m worried that the voices from yesterday will come back again.

“You gonna be okay?” Yvonne asks, resting her hand on my shoulder. “You don’t need to tell him anything you don’t want to.”

I nod, and hold onto her arm for a moment. “I’ll be okay. Don’t worry about me.”

She glares at me, a playful glint in her eye. “I will worry as much as I want,” she ruffles my hair a little and softens her expression, “and you are absolutely someone worth worrying over.”

I nod grudgingly, and take a few deep breaths before letting go of her arm and starting towards the door. “I’ll try not to take long.”

“That’s fine baby, take all the time you need.” She responds, “I don’t have anywhere I need to be, I have a friend covering my sector of the city today.”

“Are you sure?” I stop in front of the door now, “I don’t want to leave you waiting out here.”

“I’ll be fine, Victor,” she insists, “this trip is about you. Now go talk to your brother!”

“O-okay.” I agree, reluctantly, and turn to head inside.

The stairwell is a little creepy as I head up to Justin’s apartment on the 3rd floor, the light on the second floor landing is out and there aren’t any windows, so it’s darker than normal. I grip the straps of my backpack tightly as I ascend, keeping my head down as I count the stairs between landings - 8 per flight, 2 flights per floor, for 2 full floors. I make sure I step on all 32, taking 3 steps on the landings. I settle into the familiarity of the numbers by the time I reach Justin’s floor, turning to the left as soon as I leave the stairwell and pulling out the key to his apartment. I knock on the door as I turn the key in the lock and push my way in.

Justin has a studio apartment, the same place he’s been living for 4 years now. I used to live here, but I moved out last year since living with others has never worked great for me, and it was a really good year while it lasted, but of fucking course something had to fuck it up, and now my former landlord thinks I take hardcore drugs because she didn’t bother to read the label on the vial.

When I walk in, Justin is on his bed typing something on his laptop. As I close the door behind me, he slams his laptop shut, slides it onto his mattress, and runs over to hug me. He’s taller than me by a couple inches - he can rest his head comfortably on top of mine if he’s standing up straight. He wraps me in an overly tight hug, which I reciprocate after a moment of stunned stillness.

“Oh my god, Vic, are you okay? What happened yesterday?” He asks, voice full of anxiety, and he pulls away to look me up and down. “How did you get even paler? Did you catch a cold in the rain yesterday? Where did you stay? Please don’t say you slept on the streets. Why didn’t you come over here?”

“I’m sorry for not coming over.” I mumble, “a, um, a pickpocket took my wallet, so didn’t have any money or a bus card to get over here…”

He looks at me for a moment after I start speaking, and something seems to click after I finish my statement, and he gasps a little. “Oh shit, was that too many questions at once?” I give a small shrug in response. “Fuck, I’m sorry Vic, i just… I got really worried about you last night.”

“Yeah, I know, I’m sorry J.” I mutter, “I would’ve come over here, but…” fuck, I’m actually telling him. Why am I telling him? I don’t have anything prepared, I don’t know how to explain what the actual fuck even happened. Hey bro, I got bit by a vampire on 1st avenue? He’s never gonna believe me.

I take a deep breath and silently hope he’ll believe anything I’m saying. “When I was walking over here yesterday… I got attacked.”

“Attacked?!” He screeches, voice cracking. “Are you okay? Did you get hurt?”

I hesitate for a moment, avoiding eye contact as much as I can. “I’m… I’m mostly fine, but… fuck, I’m gonna sound so fucking crazy.”

He shakes his head a little, “Whatever, maybe I will, but… tell me anyways.”

I look straight into his eyes now, give a little nod, and steel myself as I continue my explanation. “The person who attacked me… he was a vampire. Like, a real, blood-sucking vampire. He was stalking me for a couple blocks, and… he pulled me down an alley and… bit me.” I tug at the collar of my shirt and show him the small mark on my neck.

He looks at me, utterly stunned. “A… vampire bit you. Yesterday, in the middle of New York City.”

“I told you I sound fucking insane.” I grumble. “But I swear I’m not lying. I have the fucking fangs to prove it!” I open my mouth to show him my elongated canines and almost start crying.

The color drains from his face. “Holy. Fucking. Shit.” He whispers, and pulls me back in for an even tighter hug. “I’m so sorry, Vic. I… I’m your older brother, I should be able to keep you safe… god, I’ve never been able to keep you safe…”

“It’s not your fault, J.” I insist, “Bad things happen and sometimes no one can stop them from happening. I had shitty luck, I was in the wrong place at the wrong time, but… hey, at least I half died in the coolest way possible.”

He laughs a little at that. I like it when I can get him to laugh; it doesn’t happen very often, especially not recently, but it makes me feel amazing when I can manage it. It makes me feel like maybe I’m not as much of a burden as I tell myself I am.

“You… you’re gonna be okay though, right, Vic?” He asks cautiously as he pulls me back and looks me in the eyes, “have you had any… I don’t know, urges? If you killed someone, I’ll help you hide the body. I promise, whatever you need.”

I shake my head. “I’m fine. I had really bad urges right after, but… this really nice lady found me before I woke up, and gave me some… cow’s blood. She brought me to a… facility… that helps people like me.”

He lets out a sigh of relief before he responds. “Oh, thank god. Do you feel safe there? Are the people nice?”

“Yeah, the people are all super nice.” I confirm. “The lady who found me especially, and this vampire dude.”

“Is that where you stayed last night?”

“Yeah. They have a bunch of studio apartments where people live, and I have a room there right now.”

“That’s good, that’s good…” He mutters, and I can see the gears turning in his brain as he thinks of things to ask. “Be… be careful, okay? Try not to kill anyone; I’ll help you hide a body, but I’d really rather that didn’t come up.”

I chuckle a little at that. “Yeah, I’ll do my best.”

He pulls me back in for another hug, and just holds me for a little while.

“Do you need to leave soon?” He asks after a few minutes.

“Yeah,” I mutter, “the lady who found me came with me, I didn’t want to take the subway alone yet.”

He squeezes me tighter, and pulls back a little to knock our foreheads together. “Be safe; I can’t imagine vampires are terribly popular.”

I nod, and slowly back away from his touch. “I’ll call you when I get back, okay?”

He nods. “Love you, Vic.”

I give one last nod, and turn to leave. “Love you, J.”

As soon as I close the door behind me, tears start streaming down my face. That went so much better than I thought, but it took a lot out of me. Fuck, he actually believed me! That alone would be enough to make me start crying tears of pure euphoria, but combined with the emotional stress the tears come all that more easily. I stand there for a moment, do my best to stop crying, and head back down the stairs.

Yvonne is sitting on the front steps when I walk out, and as soon as I open the door she jumps to her feet and spins around to look at me. I just walk right up to her and give her a hug.

"You good, baby?" She asks cautiously; I nod and hold onto her tighter.

“I told him what happened,” I mutter, “and he believed me.”

“That’s good!” She exclaims, “Did he take it well?”

“I… I think so.”

“That’s really great, Victor.” She restates. “Do you want to head out?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, let’s go.”

The sun is out today. It’s noon right now, and the subways are busy, mostly with big groups of high school kids. The city is so alive, and for the first time since I moved here, I feel a little out of place. The car we’re in is packed full of teens heading into Manhattan, and surprisingly they don’t take any notice of us.

“Hey, Yvonne?” I ask her after a few minutes, “I really don’t want to seem rude, but… why…"

"Why aren't people looking at me?” She finishes, and I nod a little.

“I’m really sorry if that’s rude.” I mumble, barely audible.

She smiles a little. “That’s fine, Victor, it’s good you asked me instead of accidentally offending a stranger. I have a minor glamour on, so I look a little more human to normal people.”

My eyes go wide at that. “Magic? Can I see? Please?”

She snorts at that. “You’re very easily excitable, huh?”

I nod vigorously. “Can I see it? I wanna see how you look to all of these people!”

She gives me a little nod, and her form begins to shift, like there’s a fog around her, and her features begin to change slightly. Her green skin changes to a shade of brown the color of grizzly bear fur, and her tusks disappear. Her eyes remain the same piercing silver, and her hair remains in midnight black dreads, but the ends are dyed green. My eyes go even wider with awe. She smiles a little wider as the glamour fades away once again.

“That is the coolest fucking thing I’ve seen in the past 24 hours.” I state.

“Kid, if that’s the coolest thing you’ve seen, you have a lot to learn.”

“I want to learn all of it.”

She laughs lightly at that, “Well, I guess that’s not a bad way to spend eternity.”

I smile back at her, and we sit in near silence for the rest of the ride.

#original story #spooky monsters n shit

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songsorter28 · 4 years

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Blackpink: The Album Review

Okay, this is the first time i’ve done this and the truth is i don’t know how, so i’ll just try my best.

First of all: I am a Jennie biased blink. That means I have no trustworthy sense of criticism when it comes to them and if you do, this is probably not the place for you. I will try to talk about this album with a sense of criticism, but sometimes, i’m just gonna like a song because it’s blackpink and y’all just gotta deal with it.

BUT, I am not afraid of saying i don’t like things that the pinks have said it to like, which is actually how i’m starting this review. So, if you guys are all about loving the girls and emotion and “think about how they must feel” this is a decision made by the girls, this place is also not for you either. I am a blink and i share a lot of love for those four women, but i am also a consumer of their work as artists. I will complain if I didn’t get something I thought was necessary as a viewer and listener for my money and attention to be spent. I will not, of course, hate on them in any way.

Ok, before anything:

1) English isn’t my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes. 2) Here, we’re gonna talk about the cover, pre-release single choices, writing credits, tracklist and my honest opinion about the album as a whole.

a) The Cover:

There’s not a lot to talk about but the fact that it’s gorgeous, but simple. I didn’t understand why a crown if the name was The Album (something unoriginal to be honest, but i’m not 100% against it) and there’s no reference to royalty throughtout the album besides maybe Jennie’s rap “didn’t want to be a princess”. I did find the cover visually pleasing tho, could be much more embarrasing.

b) Writing credits and Track List:

This one is quick. I’m extremely glad Jennie and Jisoo were credited as songwriters (Jennie as well as a composer) but Teddy gotta give Danny Chung to god. He hates rapper Jennie and he’s the reason Lisa doesn’t write. He’s always in charge of the raps so teddy gets confortable and Lisa doesn’t get a chance to write her own verses, which is something the sure thing cover showed us she can do. Also, he hates rapper Jennie to the point where she had to write her rap on the title track (wich is good, but, you know what i mean) and wasnt even given a chance to write more than 8 seconds. Melanie I hope this is the last time you were here. Loren you can stay. Tommy and Ryan yall were cute we had fun but it’s over let’s move one (seriously, these producers really made me appreciate Teddy more lmao pls sir never leave us). Okay that’s it. Now, to the track list.

I will be talking about the fact this shouldn’t even be called a full album on the My Honest Opinion About The Album As A Whole topic.

1. How You Like That

I say my opinion more detailed on the next topic but at at essence. Cute. A good opener to the album and what is to come, but too much of a bside to even be a pre release single.

6.5/10

2. Ice Cream

Again, my opinion it’s on the next topic. Cute song. Loved Chaennie’s high notes and wish i didn’t know english so the rap didnt sound that silly. Not as bad as blinks and non blinks make it out to be.

6.12/10

3. Pretty Savage

I kinda also talked about that in the next topic lmao. It has everything a blackpink song should have. There’s been some controversy about Lisa “born skinny bitch” but Lisa was talking about herself since she has been body shamed through her whole career. She was right and she should say it. You’re entitled to feel uncomfortable but that’s just the thing she wasn’t talking about me or you. She was taking her pain and wearing like an armor. This was a diss track for the haters. Taking that away from her because of our own issues it’s kinda mistreating hers.

8.82/10

4. Bet You Wanna

Yes you guessed it right I talk more about it next topic. It’s a bop. Loved Jennie here. She has such a versatile voice I was very proud to hear her. And Cardi was also good. Just hope Lisa will get her rap part live cause she didn’t have much lines here. But I loved Jenlisa’s brigde. Rosé’s adlibs peak perfection and Jisoo’s chorus and english that’s what i’m talking about. The chorus can be a little repetitive and it kinda ends a bit suddenly but it doesnt bother me much.

8.37/10

5. Lovesick Girls

WHAT TO SAY ABOUT THIS MASTERPIECE OTHER THAN BEST BLACKPINK TITLE TRACK? Love that for me. It was so different than anything they’ve done so far, the lyrics were AMAZING, the message behind it also, the visuals in the MV, storylinne, RAPPER JENNIE OMG, she got the most memorable line “didn’t want to be a princess, i’m priceless” i love her tf the shade to the yg princess title and her scene in the car and in the mental hospital(will not touch on the controversies cause that was annoying) also Lisa’s rap/singing with a flow in the begining her voice OMG I WAS SHOOKEDT. Jisoo’s high note in the brigde? Rosé?? perfect.

10/10

6. Crazy Over You

Rapper Jennie for the last time with a 8 second rap again but LET’S BE POSITIVE. A bop. I loved the i. went. crazy. over. you. I love the lyrics. It bother a bit this much english but it’s bp’s idendity so i’m fine with it.

8.5/10

7. Love To Hate Me

This was a predictable song in the best possible way. Easily one of their best songs. There’s honestly nothing left to say. Also. Lisa’s rap. Maybe Danny Chung deserves some points. It even felt like she was a feat in the song like her flow yall just perfection.

9.4/10

8. You Never Know.

Great song I left with depression.

I like how this album talks with haters and blinks, it really shows a different side from the pinks. Only a few know the emotion Jennie starting off “but you never know unless you walk in my shoes [...] cause everybody sees what they wanna see, it’s easier to jugde it than to believe”. It was written by Loren, a close friend from the girls and the boy who’s Jenlichaeng boyfriend in the LSG’s MV and Bekuh Boom, a producer who’s been with them for really long, but if anyone got a conspirancy theory that they were involved in the songwriting process of the song, sign me up. You don’t need proves. I believe you. ALSO JISOO GOT MOST LINE ON THIS ONE and we got singer Lisa. After a while, it become my favorite song from the album. Now, it’s my favorite song from their discography. Debate your mother.

9.62/10

c) Pre-Release single Choices:

I can’t stress about this enough. Whoever was in charge for the single choices needs to go to jail. Not that HYLT is bad (at all) but comparing to the rest of the songs, it look MUCH more like a powerful bside than Love To Hate Me and Pretty Savage ever will. I will lecture later how Pretty Savage was the perfect choice to first release single, just wait. Now, to the controversial Ice Cream. To be honest, i found the song super cute and i think the MV was one of their best. It was different and refreshing, love that for me. But the whole sequence of events that turned out to that disasterous twitter timeline, with constant attacks to the girls especially Lisa over things they cannot control such as line distribuition and a sabotage from antis on yt comment section, was something I kinda already saw it coming. Ice Cream is Blackpink’s most successful single to date, but it was a bad choice from the start (I will talk about that in a second). For starters, YG decided not to promote the song well. While announcing the single, they gave us a poster with pictures from a summer package released months before. And each week they kept doing that, only using actual teaser photos in the release week. The hype was pretty much out. I can’t say my timeline is 100% blink because i have way too many fandoms that i’ve been following for longer than i’ve known kpop, but compared to the HYLT hype, they were pretty down and that’s on YGE. Also, ever since coachella, it’s been antecipated by fans and artists the possibility of a Blackpink x Ariana Grande (one of the most popular singes these last couple of years). The idea of an Aripink collab got blinks (who were already with an eye wide open after Blackpink was seen with Tommy Brown, Ari’s basically oficial producer, who has been producing for her ever since her second album and was reponsible for many hits of her latest project, Thank U, Next, such as 7 rings and Thank U, Next) even more hyped when YG announced (one of those old photoshoot posters. I’m sorry I will never let that go that company is so trash) that Blackpink’s second release was going to be a collaboration with a western artist, and Ariana herself like Jennie’s instagram post about the next single. I cannot put in words the reaction of my twitter timeline when YG confirmed that the collab was actually with Selena Gomez.

Now, on a more personal note.

You see, I actually like Selena. I like her songs, besides the critics. Perfect is pop perfection. Waverly Place is the best disney show ever since That’s So Raven. But, to a collab made to the US market, and besides the success of Rare, Selena isn’t a sales force like Adele or Taylor Swift, nor a streaming force like Ariana Grande. Nothing takes my theory that this was supposed to be an aripink collab but, for some reason, she dipped and then interscope (blackpink us label and selena’s label) picked her. Selena showed us a good time and promoted the girls more than YGE did but, it wasn’t a surprise when the song didn’t get a top 10 (a top 13 is really good tho, don’t get me wrong).

Now back to the story telling

Selena was more than a feat, she sang the whole damn song, getting more vocal lines the the entire vocal line. She’s only a few seconds behind Lisa, who got the most lines in general. I understand that it is a collab, but this is the girls’ single. Why would they want to listen to them for only 16 seconds, the amount of time Rosé got? That set a bunch of solo stans (something that exists more in this fandom than everywhere else) to boycoitt the release, a huge fansite even taking out their funds for the full album (that was low, even for a solo account. JisooBar, you aint seeing heaven). Did i think it was a little of overeacting? As someone who’s an army that had to handle Not Today’s line distribuition, and especially since we’re talking about the main vocalist, someone who will for sure have more lines in the future (as she did), kinda. But, like i said, it was a bomb getting ready to explode at any minute. If it wasn’t that it’d be something else. That being said, NOTHING will ever justify the nastyness y’all did with Lisa and even Jennie’s comment section. Nothing. That was ridiculous even for solo stans. BUT for people who got worried about Lisa’s lack of posts after the release, don’t worry. She didn’t post a lot because Thailand is going through some stuff and I don’t think she has YGe’s permission to talk about it (when I catch the ones in power on that company istg).

Wow, that was long. At essence, it was a bad choice for several reasons, but i enjoyed the song a lot. Can’t wait for the live performances with chaesoo’s lines.

Now, back to HYLT. It was greatly promoted, it stopped Zico’s (huge in korea) releases and a bunch of other big artists in South Korea. Got 7 Perfect All-Kills and would’ve gotten more than 12 if the charts weren’t reforming at the time. It also broke a lot of records, and repeated Sour Candy’s position on the bb100 on #33. It’s another very Blackpink song that I enjoyed but kinda aged. Many non blinks didn’t like it but it’s not like they were ever going to admit they liked a bp song. They’re annoying. The song’s biggest problem is probably the 2015 edm in the chorus. Like. Teddy. You gotta let that go. It’s time. He kinda heard us in the album. But, these kinds of songs are very liked by the general public, especially the korean one. An interview was made asking the general public if blackpink should change concepts and they said a bit fat no. So that tells what you need to know. And that it why i think Pretty Savage should have been the first pre release single.

Okay, let me tell you another series of event. Back on november 2019, when we were starving because YGe does not like money, BlackpinkBar, a big fansite, payed trucks to be sent to YG building during a whole day demanding for better treatment to Blackpink. You can find all the demands online, but at essence, when it came to music related, blinks always mention: Jisoo’s lines, screen time and blackpink in your area, Main Rapper Jennie, Lisa dance break, Rosé’s high note. On HYLT, we got nothing. And everyone had to shrug it off saying it was just a pre release single, BUT it would be better hyped by blink and the hype to the second pre release would’ve lasted longe if PRETTY SAVAGE, who has basically all of that, was the pre release single. It would’ve assured us of so much. Jisoo said bp in your area twice, she RAPPED, she was singing, she could’ve had more screetime and center time especially bc she’s on all chorus. Jennie Main Rapper would go back and we wouldn’t have to be blue balled (which caused the ice cream meltdown)every single release and only having to wait till the title track and only to have a 8 SECOND RAP. I won’t talk about that now. Moving on. Rosé wouldn’t get a high note, but she would’ve gotten the brigde all to herself and the next pre release single, bet you wanna (wait for it), she would get those incredible adlibs. And Lisa’s dance break. Not only this is bp’s most danceable song and has a bunch of lisa’s raps, it also has jennie’s outro, where for a least 20 seconds lisa could’ve thrived. Yall we were robbed.

Now, real quick, back to Ice Cream. In a perfect world (or just a world where YG’s current ceo) had brains, if they wanted a collaboration to show the pink side of blackpink, with a poppy song and sassy lyrics, the artist not to be in the whole song, and to have an artist who would driven attention from the locals and is a big streaming force, THEY WOULD’VE CHOSEN BET YOU WANNA. My biggest problem with bet you wanna is Lisa’s lack of lines, which could cause stuff and well we just miss her they could have added a rap even for 8 seconds, BUT, seeing her all around pretty savage and knowing she’s gonna have Cardi’s rap during live performances would cool things down. Since we were in the middle of a pandemic, instead of a mv like ice cream where they had to do it separately, they could’ve done something like IU’s eight. A huge part in animation and a few with people. Literally YG why are you so dumb. Bye.

d) My Honest Opinion About The Album As A Whole:

I did some math (lol) and my rank for The Album is 8.4. It’s easily one of the best releases from this year and I loved it so much, but something were left to be desired and i think i could pass everything and just turn a blind eye at things, except one: the fact we waited for 4 years, watched all ggs and yg groups getting comebacks last semester and only got 8 songs. Loona is releasing a mini album with that amount of songs. Stray Kids and BTS’s mini albums are longer than that. It was bad enough KTL had 4 songs and a remix (a joke) with 2 songs lacking raps and no rapper jennie only for them to carry YG’s dirty name after what their protected boys did. I legit hate it here they didn’t even had 30 minutes, their longest song wasn’t even 4 minutes. Also, before anyone says anything about the girl’s interview about quality over quantity. I’d like to say that i understand them having that when it comes to have one comeback a year and i’m honestly okay with that. But their first full album? 8 songs? Are you kidding me? Like I said, I’m a consumer. I refuse to receive this half assed excuse about quality over quantity when they had more than enough time to produce and write more than 8 quality songs? what, is impossible to write more than one song per moth? these songs have formulas, they can be made more than 8 times. A blackpink album its more than a thousand reals here. That 90% of a sallary. And please don’t come with the “if you don’t want it just don’t buy it” “you can just unstan them” bc that’s not the case. I love their songs. I love the girls. But I’m a consumer of their art and if they want to be takend seriously as artists, they gotta do more than 8 songs on a full album. It’s unfair to anyone that isn’t a diehard fan willing to sell out an overpriced photobook in hours. That’s not the only kind of fan blackpink needs. they need the store locals, the people who are not on twitter or tumblr or instagram. Cause those locals are gonna stay like they stayed with adele and taylor swift. stan twitter is much more likely to leave them with time.

Side note: I’m tired of commenting on rapper Jennie so I’ll just say Jennie deserves better than 8 second raps as the main rapper of the group. That doesnt mean I want Lisa to not rap or to Jisoo not to sing, as many will say bc apparently that’s what people hear when we say main rapper who trained for 6 years to be a main rapper should rap on at least most title tracks even if not on all songs.

But yeah, that’s it. Besides the unfortunate final note, I loved The Album and now Blackpink it’s my second most listened artist of all time. They were top 13 before the album.

#Blackpink Jisoo Jennie Rosé Lisa TheAlbum The Album AlbumReview Album Review Kpop

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