#especially when people i've hit on etc. are still around here

[declawedwildcat]

.

[sreegs]

I reblogged it earlier but I'm glad the Something Awful Forums 9/11 thread was archived because it's an incredibly important slice of internet history. For the record I think 9/11 was thousands of personal tragedies for the direct victims of the attacks but one big national farce that led to America's ongoing slide into fascism, and the nationalism and remembrance around it is a joke especially in the wake of the same amount of deaths every fucking day in the US during the height of coronavirus.

Nevertheless I think it's important that if you do not remember because you were too young or just didn't exist on Sept 11, 2001 to read the Something Awful 9/11 forums to get an idea of what the internet was like at the moment when America changed to 24 hour news cycles and renewed hyper-nationalism not seen since WWII.

This all happened before Twitter, Facebook, before Discord. Before smart phones. Before most people had cell phones. When a lot of people still had dial-up internet, even. Some people in the thread were relying on radio because internet and TV weren't keeping up.

It was a live event of internet denizens reacting to the biggest national event (and among the biggest international events) of the past 25 years. It was also a slice of what the internet was like at the turn of the millennium. Not only that, but people accurately calling out who was responsible, and what would result before the attacks even finished.

Keep in mind that the links that follow contain images of the event, lots of Islamophobia, people calling for the Middle East to be nuked, people blaming Palestine, casual racist and homophobic language (this was Something Awful after all), etc etc. They preserved the first 17 pages which spanned about 24 hours during the events. It's the origin of the "WATCH BUSH START A FUCKING WAR" screenshot.

Links under the fold. I've also annotated the pages with notes regarding the timeline and any posts of interest. Note the thread was preserved in Pacific Time even though the page says times are Eastern. That's incorrect. Post timestamps are 3 hours behind Eastern Time, which is the time zone where the attacks occurred:

Page 1 - Note the first post was edited to include images of the second attack. The thread started after the first plane hit. Second plane hitting the WTC happens here too.

Page 2 - Poster accurately calling out Bin Laden was responsible at 9:14 AM EST

Page 3 - "WATCH BUSH START A FUCKING WAR"

Page 4

Page 5 - First official acknowledgement it was a terrorist attack.

Page 6 - Pentagon hit

Page 7

Page 8

Page 9 - Commercial flights grounded by FAA (Federal Aviation Administration)

Page 10 - First mention of towers collapsing at end of page

Page 11 - More reactions to collapse of first tower. People thinking it was a bomb or yet another plane. Rumors about a fourth plane just missing the White House (these are false and predate the actual 4th plane crash by minutes)

Page 12

Page 13 - By this point there's just rampant speculation about more bombs at the WTC, the US Capitol building being hit, etc (all false). Remember this is all just people reacting to TV news and radio and the rumor mill via phone, AIM, IRC, and maybe text messages.

Page 14 - By this point internet news sites are overwhelmed

Page 15 - Second tower collapses. First acknowledgement of the fourth plane that crashed in PA.

Page 16 - There's an abrupt time jump in the threads, I think it was the result of admins pruning the activity or the SA forums going down. This page starts on 9/12 even though it is page 16. American flag signatures and ribbons start appearing.

Page 17

[042502]

・❥・Kiss Without Lips ・Chris Sturniolo.

- ,, summary. Chris went out to party and finds you attractive, he brings out all his knowledge of being a gallant...

- ,, content. Consumption of alcoholic beverages, appropriate language, dirty talk, sex in public, fast fingers, male receptive oral sex, etc.

- ,, writer's note. My first language is not English, so if you find any grammatical errors you already know why :) so please avoid making offensive comments about it and if this is too much for you, go away.

- ,, masterlist.

This was the situation, Dalma wanted to party as usual, I found myself dragged to crazy parties with her.

But today I especially didn't feel like being forced to go to these crazy parties. Especially since they always had the same ending...

"Hello? I'm sorry, have you seen a girl with blonde hair and a low-cut black dress?" He asked the third person at random.

"Girl, there are a thousand girls dressed like that here." The boy who seemed drunk answered me.

I walk a little further and ask another unknown person again.

"Hello? I'm sorry, have you seen a girl with blonde hair and a low-cut black dress?"

"I can't hear you bitch." He screams in my face, I could feel moisture on my face, thanks to the saliva he spat on me when he screamed.

I clean myself frustrated and continue my search, I was finally exhausted then I received a text message from Dalma.

Every party she takes me to ends in her sudden disappearance and after searching for her everywhere, that silly message arrives reminding me that she is abandoning me, again.

"I'm not going." "I respond determinedly.

"Damn girl! It's going to be one of the best parties in fucking history, you don't know how many cute guys will be there.It is truly an opportunity we cannot waste.”

"That you won't be able to waste, I'm not into hooking up with strangers."

"You're boring." He snorted, throwing himself on my bed.

We remained silent until he finally opened his mouth again.

"Maybe Emmett is there." My eyes met hers.

And like magic here we are, both at the crazy party that I didn't want to be at.

"Okay, listen." He took her by the shoulders. "I'm sorry to be harsh, but if you're not with me when it's time to leave, I'll leave without you."Deep down I knew she would leave first without me.

"That seems fine to me." He smiles and pulling my arm we enter the famous party.

The parties we attended weren't bad, we always started well, we drank, met people and danced a lot. The bitch was when Dalma disappeared and I was stupidly looking for her everywhere.

This party was looking good.

"Hey, Emmett must be where the drinks are, do me a favor and bring me a glass of vodka."

He hits my shoulder and walks away, I walk in the direction where Dalma told me the drinks are.

Emmett was a guy I met frequently at these parties and I admit we hooked up, we weren't complete strangers, I've seen him at several parties and we've talked enough not to consider him a stranger.

Since then, whenever we see each other at parties we hang out together there.

Emmett was where Dalma mentions, but he wasn't alone, he was running his hands over the tits of a blonde-haired girl.

Suppressing a feeling of pain and moving forward to grab one of the glasses near where he was standing. I had no intention of him noticing my presence... Or maybe he did.

"Oh, how are you?" He smiles at me when he sees me. "I didn't think you'd come today..."

The creep still keeps his hands on her, it's so disgusting.

I didn't answer him anything, he just raised the glass with my drink and shook it slightly and then guided it to my lips. He smiled and I became serious instantly and then turned my back on him and walked away from him.

"You look hot today!" He yells at me behind my back and gives him the middle finger without turning around.

I spent the rest of the night sitting drinking alone, because of course, Dalma is who knows where.

"Are you waiting for the love of your life?"

I turn slightly towards the new presence next to me, it is a boy with messy hair, a wide smile in a white t-shirt.

"Because if so, I have already arrived." Shows his teeth.

He smiled forcedly, I look ahead again to become serious and ignore him.

"Difficult public..."

"Get lost."

"In your eyes of course." She looked at him in disbelief, he still has that stupid smile on his face. “Why so fucking bitter? Didn’t your boy come?”

"He's with someone else."

Why am I telling you this?

"Auch.” He puts his hand to his chest, simulating non-existent pain. "Don't worry, it usually happens."

"As if it will happen to you."

"Yes, everything happens... Even for guys as handsome as me, you're lucky that today I'm fulfilling favors." I didn't understand what he was referring to. "Who is the bastard?"

Am I seriously going to tell this idiot who Emmett is?

"It's that guy who's sticking his fucking tongue down the blonde's throat." He gestured vaguely with my drink in his hands.

The boy next to me nods, looking in the direction I mentioned, then looks at me.

"I like brown hair girls better." Being an idiot again. "Please blondes are 95% oxygenated, it's not real."

"Good point." I thought of Dalma.

"Do you plan to stay here and watch that idiot have a good time?"

"Maybe."

"Oh please, let's do something fun."

"I hear you?" He laughs and walks closer to me.

"I bet you what you want that I can kiss you without my lips." I frowned in confusion.

"How would you do that?"

"Let's bet."

"What?" I laughed in his face.

"You close your eyes."

I hesitate for a moment but I close my eyes slowly and in an instant I feel lips on mine, I open my eyes instantly.

"Oops I lost ." Whisper close to me, you fucking idiot...

I drop my drink and hold his face with both hands and kiss him deeper. His hands travel to my waist, but they waste no time there as they quickly move to my butt, grabbing it tightly.

My device vibrates in my pocket, we separate and I see that it was Dalma saying that she had once again left with some handsome boy that she would later tell me.

"Do you want to go somewhere else?" I asked him and he gives me another smile.

I don't know if it was because of Emmett's spite for being with another girl and the fact that Dalma abandoned me again, but I really wanted to fuck with this boy.

My back hit the brick wall, his mouth was fused with mine, I felt like his tongue had usurped my mouth, completely dominating the situation.

His hands did not stop mercilessly massaging my butt, while my hands only clung to his hair, messing it up even more.

"Someone can see us." He managed to say when his mouth released me and he began to kiss my neck.

"It's an empty hallway, what if they see us?" He murmurs against my skin.

"Shit…" I let out when he lowered my neckline, exposing one of my breasts to put it in his mouth and suck on it as if he were a little child.

"Imagine that bastard seeing you like that right now." His hand caresses my cheek.“It would be fucking crazy… to see you making out with a stranger in a dark corner of a party.”  I could feel his other hand make its way between my legs, pulling aside my underwear to touch me. “Feeling his fingers inside you, your dripping pussy.”

His fingers buried themselves inside me and did not hesitate to penetrate me decisively. Damn, I felt like two of his long, bony fingers entered and left my entrance without mercy, my lips opened in a gasp.

"Do you want to say something?" He runs his tongue over my bottom lip and my hips move against his hand asking for more. "Do you want to shout it?"

"Fuck…"

His fingers stop and my thighs grip his hand. He laughs with his nose and brings our mouths together again while unbuttoning his pants.

I had the intention of leaning over, but he grabbed my arm and turned me around, trapped between him and the brick wall.

"Sorry pretty girl, but I can't handle a blowjob right now." He caresses my entrance with his member.

Shit, he was hard, and without further ado he penetrated me, his hands held onto my waist, the movements were rhythmic and precise, as if he knew exactly how to move.

"Don't stop, please." I moaned regardless of whether they could hear me, although I doubted it because the music was loud enough.

One of his hands leaves my waist and catches my neck, this was enough for my legs to fail me and my walls to close, squeezing his member, I could feel even more at this, a heartbreaking scream comes out of my mouth.

"Fuck!"

I had reached the climax point, he still penetrates me with the same intensity, when I felt that the abandonment inside me was going to come.

"Give it to me."

I asked and I leaned over opening my mouth in front of him, he seemed to resist, but when my tongue made contact with his length he couldn't take it anymore and gave in to my mouth.

I suck for a moment and then I shake it with my tongue out waiting for him, his eyes close and immediately I receive his messy shots.

Never in my life have I had a situation as hot as this. I stand up after cleaning his intimacy with my tongue.

We both put on our clothes and walked back to the party, when Emmett and the girl saw us, to my surprise the girl was running towards me...

He passes by my presence and shouts.

"¡Christopher!" He looked behind me and I see her addressing the boy. "What were you doing? “Hey, you didn’t mention you were coming.” She seems to be flirting with him, because she ran her hands over his shoulders almost in a sensual way.

"I was fucking her." He points at me and I widen my eyes. “You know, I like girls with brown hair.” He smiles cheekily and the blonde pushes him to walk away from our presence.

On the other hand, Emmett looked at us from a distance with suspicion.

"Was it necessary... Christopher?"

He approaches me, pressing his body against me, I could feel how they were attaching themselves to my rear.

"I prefer Chris."

"Well Chris, was it necessary?"

"So much for telling you that I'm a magician."

"Wizard? Like that cheap lipless kiss trick? Scoundrel."

"So much for telling you that I have your thong in my hands." He extends his hand in front of me and opens it, revealing my underwear in his hand.

I let out a surprised moan and hit his arm and tried to snatch the garment from him, but he is faster than me and hides it in his pocket.

"You'll have to come get them..."

Saying this, he began to walk away from me, I bit my lip and ran to catch up with him. He turned around and when he saw me running towards him, he smiled, putting his arm over my shoulders, sticking me close to him, to continue walking together.

- ,, writer's note. Remember to hit the heart and share it with your friends! Thanks for reading^^ If you want to be on the taglist, comment on the post posted on my profile.

- ,, taglist. @luverboychris @l34n @sturncakez @imwetforyourmom

[fjordline]

ok i've been thinking about how to answer The Color Asks for so long now. Once I start talking about colors I never stop, it seems. This is just me attempting to explain my personal thought process and not any universal rules or anything like that.

None of this is going to look very realistic at all. You need to exaggerate a little. That being said, having fundamental knowledge on how shadows and ligh tsources work is very useful. Know the rules before breaking them and all that.

Boiled down to its basics, what I think of is: if a lightsource is cold toned, make the highlight bright blue. if a light source is warm, make the highlight bright orange. Then contrast the light with a complementary shadow color that does not compete for dominance with the light. Or alternatively make the light source more neutral with a complimentary tone for the shaded areas and then add a highly saturated color in the deepest shadows. Having both a highly saturated light source and a shadow color will compete with each other, instead choose one to be the dominant and one to be the um. submissive i suppose.

Just using a random doodle from my sketchbook for the purpose of throwing some color on:

^^^ Here the midtones and the areas in the shade are predominantly of a low saturated cool blueish tone, while the highlight is stark and warm with orange and red light bouncing off. The orange and red hues you often see in skin that is lit by a strong light is called subsurface scattering (sss), one of the most important concepts in art IMO. It livens things up so much.

^^^Opposite from image 1, here the shaded area is a saturated golden color while the light source is a dull blue with hints of more vivid blue throughout. the blue balances the strong yellows and browns. Since the shaded area is bigger than the highlighted area, the subject matter could look quite monochromatic without the blue hints.

^^^Get wild with it. Lets say your highlight is blue toned: instead of just using a blue, introduce purple, teal, turquoise, ultramarine, cyan, etc around where the light is hitting. Add several light sources in different colors, make it not make sense, get crazy.

Though what is important above all else is that the image reads clearly. Unless you're doing abstract art then you'd probably want the audience to understand what they're looking at. That's where values come in, probably the number one cause of confusing pieces of art. If you can turn the painting black and white and still see the subject matter clearly then the values are good.

I find that i love using colors that most people find garish, especially when they're on their own, for small highlights and points of interest. When paired with other more neutral colors, a bright orange or a chartreuse etc can really brighten up a painting. And colors are never what they seem, the human eye will interpret colors differently depending on what color they are next to. Make full use of this.

Hope this long ass post helps anyone who is struggling with color, I know I used to struggle severely myself xoxo

[redmelawashere]

Alright I got woken up at like 3 AM with FORBIDDEN MEMORIES™️ and remember that MelloNear literally had a fandom video game. What other fucking fandom has SHIPPING VIDEO GAMES.

I think it just hit me since recently I've been thinking a lot about how fandom spaces shift over time (especially as we have re-boots, live-actions, or other media that helps reinvigorate fandoms like currently with A:TLA) and honestly, MelloNear has had so many ups and downs and like…as someone who was in this fandom WAY too young and grew up with it I want to see how many people on tumblr, who were there in ye olden wild west days, remember the stuff I do and also for those of you who weren’t around back then but are big now, here’s the insane history that I remember:

1 - LiveJournal (LJ) and the LOST FICS LJ was initially one of the better places to find fics – but a lot of authors jumped ship when FF.NET started to take over and for other reasons that were before my time. Finding fics on LJ that haven’t been deleted was/is hard and their UI is trash I never could get a grasp on it. (The irony of FF.NET now being dead and people jumping ship to AO3 and Tumblr lol.) Astyzia_ii used to write really fucking good MelloNear stuff there. She was one of the first people I ever read that had insanely good Near characterization. Unfortunately, her account no longer exists. But some of the things she wrote were things like:

Near being a total brat (at the time, no one else was really writing Near like that. Including Near lying to Mello about being assaulted by other children at Whammy's, just generally putting him in his place, etc.)

Mello painting Near’s nails black (then this trope just went off on FF.NET and everyone was writing fics like that - I really like when stuff like this comes out of fandom)

Mello finding out that Near, despite being in love with him, thought Mello was so unapproachable he had sex with someone else (implied Giovanni) and Mello is basically confronting Near about it at a time when Near was treated as a prudish virgin in fandom

Finding each other in the apocalypse AU

Mello and Near being like high school sweethearts (salthearts?) and Mello wanting to go to a University in the BIG CITY but would ignore the offer if it meant staying with Near (and super tragic fic too. They pull over on a freeway after an argument about it and then Near just straight up gets hit by a car after pushing Mello out of the way 💀 and you don't know if Near survived)

And obviously, many more really creative AUs

2 - KurosakiAkane and VIDEO GAMES Akane, as Spanish artist and the original “cursed moons” drew some of the most viral and prolific MelloXNear doujinshis and EVEN MADE FANDOM VIDEO GAMES. Like I can’t believe I forgot about this. Akane literally made fandom yaoi video games and they were SO GOOD. What other fandom has shipping video games you’d think it’d be the norm I can barley wrap my head around it

Pretty sure her website (www.cursedmoons.com) is down so you can’t download them directly from there or see her full doujinshis anymore

Her DeviantArt account is still live so you can see some stills and teasers from her doujinshis.

Her LJ account is also still live but more so as an archive.

Her first game “D.nD Poisoned” can be downloaded here if you scroll to the bottom (but I haven’t checked the link so be wary…) but it was basically taking place during Whammy’s days, and yes, Mello has a knife cause he’s unhinged since those were just the times ig.

“D.nD Infection” was her second, unfinished game, which would have been when they were mid-Kira investigation post Mello blowing up the base. I found a website that hosts the short demo she released.

Her games literally inspired a new wave of AUs for the fandom in the fic department and she was just a titan who kept everyone together on all corners of the internet. When she decided to leave the fandom in like 2011 after 2010’s great FF.NET purge of M rated fics it kind of felt like the beginning of the end.  

3 - Doujinshis (fandom comics) Most doujinshi artists had their own websites and MANY were Japanese / Chinese translated into English (pretty sure Akane was the first one to create them exclusively in English...). There are so many archived on YouTube that I used to watch all the time. You can even still find some of Akane’s doujinshi’s on Youtube like:

January

Lost Innocence

The Last Birthday

Game Over

Chocolate Kiss

One of the ones that was most impactful on me was this one that I cannot remember the name of, and it wasn't by Akane, but basically Mello, freshly 16 trying to stay alive, resorts to prostitution, and the big revealer at the end is he’s just kind of left there, alone, opens up his hand and there’s a little white puzzle piece he stole from Near and pretty sure the last line was something along the lines of “no one else” and I just 😭

4 - Lost Art and the Famous Water Colours

A lot of that water-colour MN art you see floating around was from, if I'm not mistaken, a Chinese MelloNear artist and their website I think was just "w" or something and she had created 100s of MN art.

5 - ForbiddenSoul562 and FF.NET Beef and Fan Fic Rap Battles

Soul was one of the BIGGEST creators on FF.NET (and luckily, she’s still active both on FF.Net and here on tumblr!) I remember when she had like a fic battle with another creator FragilePuzzle (who is also on tumblr and active – but they post M-ll-M-tt stuff now and pretty sure they deleted all their MelloNear fics... Their active handle on tumblr is mizzmellos I think? Anyways, they’ve also switched from writing to art and its really good!) And there was like a whole “vote who you think wrote the better fic” and it was like Clash of the Titans. Shame that Fragile, as they used to go by, doesn’t like MN anymore since they also wrote a lot of really good stuff. When Fragile stopped posting and Soul went on an extended hiatus that also felt like another beginning of the end loooooool (pretty sure Soul and Mzz had an interaction here on tumblr reminding each other of each other and I had so much social anxiety I was like headbanging watching this interaction go down and if I'm remembering correctly it started cordial but didn't really end well but I could be 100% misremembering the tone of the interaction but if you dig through Soul's tumblr you can probably find it or mzzs for that matter.) 6 - Kids Writing Dark Tropes

I feel like I should make another post and just…describe how Mello and Near were portrayed individually and in a relationship during that time since it was honestly insane. Very toxic, very star-crossed lovers who revolve around each other but are devastating together and are healthier a part, and so much more. I’m much happier with where their characterization and how the fandom has evolved currently from those times lol. But I think over the years I’ve also realized how fucking young all of us were (I was literally like…13 consuming all this media which retroactively, I’m like YIKES 18+ is 18+ for a reason and I even realized some of my favourite authors / creators who I thought were way older than me or like “cool teenagers” were also close to my age and not that much older so no wonder we were all writing crazy unstable relationship shit like that - which can be fun! - but this was literally all. the. time.).

Honestly that’s all I can remember for now but what a wild ride. I know FF.NET is like, a super hard platform to use now (and just gets worse every day 🙃) but if anyone wants some MN fic recs from the vault lmk and I’ll make a post about it.

-Redmela

[agentmmayy]

2023 monthly music rotation

it's been a hot minute since i've made one of these, but here are all my favorite songs from each month of 2023!

january:

one i wanna be with - trella: oh bop!!!!!!!!!!! this ENTIRE SONG just makes me so happy!!!!!!! it’s so full of love!!! every lyric hits but especially i can’t help but wish we met before we did.

february:

antiques - holden laurence: god the desperation in this makes me want to claw my chest open and rip my heart out. the beat fucks in this jaunty rhythm that’s such a juxtaposition to the haunting lyrics and vocals. then the bridge?????? i promise to be strong i promise to believe in love that lingers on i’ll see you in my dreams. I’M CALLING THE POLICE. this is a tess/joel song. not only because of how apocalyptic this feels (which is a whole other discussion) but also meet me in the space between all the words unsaid when we could not speak meet me i’ll be waiting for you there. thanks for coming to my ted talk.

march:

borderline - tove lo: HOT. listen. everything tove lo writes and sings is inherently sexy i don't make the rules. this one especially wtf!!!!!!

unrequited night - lily kershaw: i- please respect my privacy at this time. this is a masterpiece. immediately a song i listened to laying in bed staring up at the ceiling. VERY tlou coded. (but then again every song i listened to in feb/march and lbr this past year was) AND THE GASP AT THE END GETS ME EVERY TIME.

april:

flowers in my hair - calista garcia: sweet, slow, and syrupy. i love this song and how it feels like a breath of fresh air. it’s achingly romantic and has got me singing along and twirling my hair and kicking my feet. though, at the same time it’s so intimate i feel like i’m intruding. 

labor - paris paloma: the intensity of it still continues to blow my mind. it’s unapologetic and awful. it’s incredible. i felt every lyric in my gut. i don’t want to over explain it since i can’t do the song justice but it’s so brutally honest in describing and dismantling traditional roles placed upon women and girls. the entirety of it is like poking at a wound that never closes, a wound that’s been gaping and bleeding for centuries and it makes me so angry. the visceral reaction i had to the lyric ‘if we had a daughter’ girl i- ouuuuugh. i got sick to my stomach. i was screaming crying throwing up etc etc. anyway this song is a masterpiece. still haven’t recovered from it. also it’s a fucking bop. 

may:

‘i’m just learning how to make peace with feeling small’ ‘but i might drive off if it gets too hard’ ‘there’s always a sunset that i wanna run into’ ‘i’m searching but i’m not lost’ and my all time favorite lyric that put me on the floor when i heard it the first time- ‘i’m a growing tree a few missing leaves i can’t shelter you don’t sit under me’ HELLO????? 

vagabond - overcoats: THIS song. this song has been the one i played the most in may because one it’s an absolute banger and second of all it read me for filth and the lyrics are so beautifully crafted and honest and pure and delivered impeccably. it’s a sweet, slow melody and coupled with the lyrics it reached into the depths of my soul and pulled out everything i can’t say and put it into this song like.

fireworks - JOSEPH: now for ANOTHER song that read me for filth. lately i’ve been feeling this exact way since all my friends and people around me have reached certain milestones in life- such as getting married, settling down, etc- that i haven’t and i’m left even more alone and bereft. but THIS SONG said that’s okay!!!!!!!! this song understood!!!!!! it said i’m not alone feeling this way!!!!

every lyric absolutely sent me through the roof but these especially:  ‘all these long songs might be no good for me’ ‘how long will i wait to be happy all my friends ask me’ ‘what if i’m wrong wrong to think there’s more to this story’ ‘an act of faith even though it hurts to shut that door am i holding out forever?’ ‘am i headstrong or foolish every night waiting for lighting to strike whole you’ve got blue skies?’ and my favorite- ‘i wish i could just flip a switch and accept your kind of muted bliss’ WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! once again HOW did they put it into words!!!!!! this song has such a special place in my heart. i can’t tell you how many times i’ve not only listened to it but also screamed along and cried to it 

also, JOSEPH always creates the most compelling and just fun to listen to songs and this is no exception!!!!!!!!! the harmonies are delicious and the music dropping at certain points is incredible and the beat has me dancing around the room. filed right under beach music! 

moonlight - madison rose: i wore this song into the ground!!!!! AMAZING beat and vibe. liberating rejuvenating sexy etc etc.

june:

cowboy take me away - the chicks: me personally!!!!! my favorite version of cowboy take me away. i DO wanna touch the earth and break it in my hands but i ESPECIALLY wanna look at the horizon and not see a building standing tall!!!!!!!!! every summer is cowgirl summer but this song just turned the dial to the max. never have i ever wanted a cowgirl summer more.

july:

satellites - emi larraud: this one was interesting! VERY 80s themed. it's funky. it's powerful. it's just groovy.

august:

wicked game - ursine vulpine, annica: alright i'm a sucker for these intense ballads especially when they remind me of the 100 but seriously. it's sensuous. it's an experience. the vocals are out of this world.

pretty boy - LEON: of course i had to put a LEON song on here. while this isn't my favorite of hers it was just so nice to get a new song from her again. i felt like a wilting flower getting watered. to no one's surprise it's a bop and delivers lines that absolutely wreck me such as you can't outrun getting old, that hidden place where hope lives, well that's the last it goes. ma'am!!!

september:

moonburn - dani sylvia: feeling very seen rn thank you!!!!!!!! literally spongebob leaning against rock.jpg every time i listen. it's- ough. this song has layers and i am peeling them back like an onion. when does the healing start if you leave before daylight. saying SO much in one line!!!!!!! it's the inversion of the typical light vs dark trope for me! and the chorus is immaculate.

super graphic ultra modern girl - chappell roan: chappell hit it out of the park with her first album and THIS SONG SPECIFICALLY. the absolute journey @152glasslippers and i went on listening to this... especially at 22 seconds in. WHEW. super graphic ultra modern girl IS THAT GIRL!!!!!!! SHE IS THE MOMENT!!!!!

october:

honest mistake - bears den: screaming shaking crying throwing up etc etc. bears den always writes songs that lift me by my ankles and shake me until every humiliatingly private thought comes tumbling out in the lyrics of their songs. also i love how consistent they are with the aesthetics and formality of their songs. it's very soothing while ripping me up inside.

mars - noelle: listened to this 60 times in a day. you don't understand i found this song 10/17 and spotify stopped tracking 10/31 and it was my most listened to song of the year. it's dreamy. it's sweet. the vocals are stunning and the music is fantastic.

heart to heart - now more than ever: banger. when that beat dropped i was shook!!!!!!!!!! it's a very early 2000s emo vibe but also delightfully contemporary? the vibes are there. oh and the lyrics and the way they're sung is amazingly bittersweet.

november:

swimming pool - jack kane: one of my favorites of the whole year. if spotify didn't stop tracking before november this would have been my top song. it is 100000% a slow sad groove bop. every time i listen maybe not physically but spiritually i am girl at table.jpg. formally this song is delicious and lyrically it is devastating.

december:

scorpions - distance sprinter : okay this one might be a contender for top song. impeccable. there's crack in this. the beat is OUTSTANDING. i literally can't play this in the car if i'm driving because i will start dancing. the vibes are off the charts. at no point in this song do you expect what's next. the lyrics are heartbreaking and beautiful. there's so much i can say about this song but i am gnawing on the words it's just so good.

TOP SONGS OF THE YEAR: these have 5 stars. to me. 6 stars even.

antiques - holden laurence

unrequited night - lily kershaw

vagabond - overcoats

fireworks - JOSEPH

moonburn - dani sylvia

swimming pool - jack kane

scorpions - distance sprinter

[kittenintheden]

okay listen I'm so tired lol

I am a fandom old. I've been around the freaking block like eight dozen times. I'm at the point in my life where I enjoy media because it's FUN and ENRICHING for me personally, rather than something I base my identity on. I adore the community that happens in fan spaces (mostly).

here is why I never trust an anon that's clearly just being a dick: I've been in way to many scenarios where people who aren't even invested in the thing just think it's so fucking funny to watch segments of a community fight with each other. it tickles some part of their lizard brain. their mom never taught them not to be an asshole to strangers. idk.

there's a political term that you may or may not be familiar with called astroturfing. it's frequently used in marketing and politics to falsely create the image of vast public support for something that doesn't actually have all that much natural support. for example, people who don't especially have strong feelings about trans issues being encouraged/paid/instructed to respond to any and all trans support a certain way. responding to blogs, sending letters to the editor, posting on message boards, etc. their goal is to create a broad public perception that most people are anti-trans (untrue).

and it works. entire fucking laws and legislation and protests and fearmongering come out of that shit. people make up FAKE PROBLEMS (cis men dressing up like women to go be pervy in public bathrooms???) and spread the word via bad actors and controlling the public discourse. the media conglomerate that gamed Facebook to disproportionately support asshole authoritarian alt-right clowns and got them elected was EXCELLENT at it.

a similar thing can happen in fandom, ESPECIALLY when that fandom is a haven for women, POC, queer folk, and other minorities. you guys might remember GamerGate and SadPuppies? yeah all those fuckers are still active and still purposely being shitty at every given opportunity because they think it's funny to make the "libs" fight amongst themselves.

look up #yourslipisshowing if you're not familiar. it was a movement by Black Twitter (specifically Black WOMAN Twitter) to expose bad actors who would create accounts posing as Black woman activists, learn the surface-level terminology, and just purposely cause discord in leftist spaces under the ever-familiar activist method of "being morally pure is a thing that can exist."

anyway: any time I get an ask or comment without a name attached that is very obviously intended to poke me in a sore spot, I delete that shit and assume it's some fucker trying to start fan drama for kicks. even if I'm wrong, I still don't need to feed into that shit. this is my fun, happy space. I'm an activist and do activist shit and get angry at the world in real life, I don't need it in my little fandom corner of the internet too.

which is not to say that shitty fans and shitty fandom takes don't really exist. they very much do. but I don't give them much air unless there's an actual name attached. and even THEN it can be hit or miss because people can and do create fake accounts if they're especially dedicated to being a shithead.

so: if you're minding your business and some goober comes into your ask box with shit that's clearly intended to push a button, give it like 24 hours to cool down and decide if it's actually worth it to respond. for me, most of the time I determine that it's not.

don't get me wrong. calling out bad behavior in fandom IS IMPORTANT and SHOULD BE DONE. I just also think it's important to try and find the joy and camaraderie in these spaces as much as possible and that people who try to disrupt that for jollies suck real bad and give a disproportionate perception of "what X fans are like."

in summary, my philosophy is be the best person you can be, be as kind as is warranted, focus on the parts of your fandom that make you happiest, and carry a big stick for when the jerks won't take a hint.

also like. shitting on other characters to prop up your fave is such a freaking middle school move. are you in middle school? if so, I'm sorry. if not, I'm still sorry, but for a different reason.

[genericpuff]

Hey, I've worked a bit in animation and just wanted to point out that shows very often get pitched and bought out, and can sit in the back burner for a really long time depending on the market! Seems like with all the strikes and post covid lag, and a market thats already saturated with greek mythology atm (think percy jackson live action coming soon, youtube series, other webcomics, etc.), lore olympus is probably floating in the air atm until the time is right. These kinds of things can take years to happen, even 10+ years! Some of the most popular animated shows were pitched years before they were picked up and sent into production. Hoping in the time its on hold, they get some really good writers to clean up the story. I don't mean to disregard your post, but just a lil bit of info on how that nature works in animation. I love lore rekindled too, keep it up!

Oh hey thanks for your input! So I do actually have a diploma in animation (though I never ended up working in the larger industry) so I know a bit about how things like that can happen. Nimona's a great recent example, it was bought in 2015 by 20th Century Fox but never made it through development because of Disney purchasing them and bringing the project to a crawl due to it being LGBTQ+, then they shut down Blue Sky and that kept the project in limbo until it got picked up by a new studio and brought to Netflix. So it took well over 10 years for that one to finally hit the screen.

That said, most of that post is addressing the fact that if LO is going to get a TV show (I'm really strongly believing it isn't at this point, esp not with JHC but that's me) then stalling it out for 10 years or however long probably won't be the best move. Especially not with how things are going with animation at large.

While LO is the biggest on the WT platform, the platform itself still isn't as prestigious here in the west as say, DC or Marvel. Its platform and its comics just don't have that sort of longevity out here. LO is also undoubtedly nearing the end of its run and it's struggling to stay relevant as it is - so to make a show years down the road when it's long gone out of everyone's minds (which it will be as soon as it ends and WT starts shilling the next big thing) just sounds like a missed opportunity. It could rejuvenate interest, sure, but it could just as easily flop due to its fanbase having moved on/lost interest/etc. LO is pretty much reliant on WT's advertising at this point, it's not a good sign that WT has to keep putting notifications to read LO everywhere on the app. WT loooves the "strike while the iron is hot" methodology and now with the show they just drag it out? It feels less like striking the iron while it's hot and more like trying to get a fire going, period.

Like, when Nimona got its movie, it was like "omg Nimona's finally getting a movie!!!" but I can't help get the sense that if LO goes through that same treatment, the response is gonna be, "that gross comic with the underage girl and old man billionaire is still getting a TV show??" Maybe that's a mean assumption to make but if LO is struggling to stay relevant and in a positive light now, god knows what that's going to be like years from now if and when they do release a show.

Especially when it comes to comics like LO which generate so much criticism, I feel like it's going to go through the same thing Twilight did, where people adored it during the peak of its run but as soon as the series was over and the hype left everyone's brains it gave people room to actually reflect on it and realize how icky it was LOL (and if it goes the full way of Twilight, people will read it as a joke over how bad it is).

There are also theories in the community that a lot of what WT is doing with LO rn (paying for Rachel to be in the top billing spot at NYCC, getting her a second Eisner, etc.) could very well be them trying to "shop it around" for investors or a new network, by putting Rachel in the spotlight and going "see! look at how successful this comic is! buy it!" That's just a theory of course, but it really isn't a good look when LO wins awards and people ask why. It feels like WT's is trying to throw money at a problem without realizing what's causing the problem in the first place. It winning an Eisner or being hinted at a TV show or getting a top billing spot at NYCC won't give it legitimacy because the comic they're advertising is still garbage, they're trying to convince people it has merit when it doesn't. If anything, it'll make LO and WT lose even more credibility because it makes people wonder why the fuck a comic like LO is winning those awards and why it's being given more attention and opportunities over other comics on the platform that are far more deserving.

Anyways, this post is kinda all over the place, but that's my two cents, my point really is that if there is a show happening, it's definitely not happening soon (in spite of Rachel saying "yeah it's happening!") because there's no clear timeline or progress that's been made or even team in charge of it at this point - and if it happens down the road, its only chance of doing well will be if it gets a major overhaul in its writing IMO because the comic is way too much of a mess rn for television LOL

That said, I'd love to genuinely believe that the show will happen someday, but I feel like the best time for it to happen has passed, especially with the comic losing the quality and prestige it was sold to JHC for since then. That's just me though.

[tavina-writes]

i find it extremely funny that we (mxtx fandoms in general but mdzs especially) will get into huge shouting matches about timelines and research and accuracy and meanwhile she was like "the death of the nie bros' dad, an event extremely important to explaining the buildup to the war that affected literally every single member of the cast, could have happened anywhere in these five whole-ass years" and "yeah they totally had potatoes don't worry about it lol". truly airplane was an autobiographical character.

You know nonny, I DO find this intensely funny at times. My uh, main source of "shaking my head at this" happens when inevitably, meta goes around and we rush back and forth going "X WAS A GOOD PERSON" and "X WAS EVIL! EVIL!" etc, which happens every now and again and always makes me a bit like "ah, yes, it's difficult to convey nuance and also differing points of view that may in whole or in part also be legitimate and valuable to discuss on a place like tumblr/the internet in general because it is difficult to grapple with uncertainties and we often want to nail things down one way or another so we can figure out if we're right or not" <- but this often comes out as me writing a joke post. Or a saltier post than I intended. Sometimes because I'm tired and sometimes because I just happen to be a salty individual on main.

And I do think fandom is a place where like, multiple interpretations of an event or a statement or a character's "morality" and themes and choices are often equally valid. And fandom should be a place for that, that's what makes fandom fun. If there was a One True Interpretation of the text there'd be no need for interpreting text at all, and that's distinctly sad for me. That's no fun. Anyone who tries to use their knowledge to cudgel people into the One True Interpretation is wrong, btw.

Though I think, and here's where I feel that research and accuracy is a nuanced thing and should actually be of consideration for meta/fic/engaging with fandom in general, and why perhaps people strive for it -- the "lol, potatoes" and "poetry from whatever era I want" is fun! MXTX, however, is still writing about a fantasy version of her own culture, which offers along with it a foundational basis of knowledge that makes this...easier? And again, here's where the part of me that does enjoy these anachronisms and inaccuracies (because they're fun and since we have flying swords why not potatoes) wars with the part of me that's also like, "okay but there is a difference between 'not knowing enough to be respectful of the background surrounding the characters and why that might inform their actions' and 'I've decided that peppers, which did not exist in Eurasia prior to the Columbian Exchange are a big thing here now.'" The difference is respect. Different members of fandom will draw this line in different places and it hits different on different days.

And this is one of the struggles of engaging with foreign language media a lot of the time - we try to strike a balance between engaging with it based on our own experiences and backgrounds and not accidentally saying anything offensive or strange or 'that would totally never happen' or 'he would not fucking talk like that' and I've found, with my time in this fandom, most people who are concerned with accuracy and research are largely trying to be respectful and avoid such gaffes.

Over the two or so years I've been here, I've also reacted to people who've insisted their interpretation is the correct one when it was definitely a case of 'the version Chinese culture that I'm familiar with 200% does not work like that', and saltily wandered off to vent about how 'this is inaccurate and also rude' or try to explain why it wouldn't happen like that. Maybe this comes off as preachy at times, or overly concerned with "accuracy," but that is typically where that sort of reaction comes from for me. I expect this is probably true for other people as well!

And by no means like, do we only engage in fandom because we want to be educated or educate others, and by no means is that an obligation of any fic writer or meta writer or casual fandom goer. We engage with media because it engages us, and we engage with fandom because we love community, and sometimes its no more complex than that.

I enjoy research and art history so that's typically why this appears in my fic, and I started out on doing it to better connect with my own heritage, which I've found more important to me as I've gotten older, so that's where it comes from for me.

Apologies nonny, this was probably not the answer you were looking for and I do commiserate, I'm just chronically unable to be funny on main. 😔

TLDR: there's always nuance in everything unfortunately. Even if this is the no nuance webbed site.

[hillbillyoracle]

I get why tradwife content is so appealing - but it's not for the reasons they think.

Some information upfront: I am trans (nonbinary - GNC), hormonally intersex, queer, and have been partnered with a trans woman for going on seven years. I became progressively disabled and eventually was not able to go to school or work. I slipped into the housespouse role, especially as I started to regain some measure of functioning. Even though it was never my goal to be in this role, especially not for this long, for the last several years I've helped run progressive spaces and resources for non-traditional homemakers.

I say all this to situate what I write next. Please note: once again, I use AMAB and AFAB because not everyone around me IDs with their AGAB but what I want to talk about here breaks down along AFAB and AMAB lines in my experience. Yours may differ.

I considered writing up this morning - my family's Christmas - as an example of the various kinds of normalized incompetency I see in the AMAB folks around me embodying but I imagine most people who are going to relate to what I'd say on any level have their own stories. I think we're reaching a point where even sharing examples for the purpose of teaching can be demoralizing because we really just wind up seeing how completely mundane AMAB obliviousness or even outright hostility is. I don't want to add to that. But picture a fairly stereotypical scene - my AMAB partner making us late, AFABs all doing the invisible labor of making it go smoothly (grabbing cups before full grown adults knocked them over, dealing with trash and tidying, sorting and organizing, noticing each other's feelings and tending to them, etc) while AMAB folks laughed about how little the knew about the presents that had been purchased and generally kicked back. That was my morning.

It's not an experience that seems that miserable on it's face. No one said anything cruel. No one got hit. None of us are sitting in an ER. We're alive. But you could look around the room and see how my sister and I especially were just fucking tired by the end of it. AFAB exhaustion is just the going rate for family holidays it seems.

At one point this morning, when I tried to voice my frustrations to my partner she flat out said to me "No one asked you to do that." People who've shared some of my experiences will get why that statement always stings without me having to say it. It's the ultimate get out of jail free card for her - you know you will still face the consequences if you didn't get that work done and now it won't even be appreciated or the cost to you considered. It can be genuinely heartbreaking to hear. Implicit in it is the expectation that you always have to ask for what you want and need - though you usually won't get it without also giving detailed instructions every single time making it easier to just do it yourself - with no amount of learning patterns or generally empathizing being necessary on their part. Problem solved I guess.

Which brings me to my opening statement. The appeal of tradwife content is in the idea that it is possible to be happy in a relationships in which your needs are not anticipated, desires are only rarely considered, and your emotions are not responded to.

And I know they would argue differently - that's fine - but I've watched people in my communities flirt with the ideas before and I can tell you, it is not coming from some genuine belief in the bioessentialism that the TradWife crowd espouses. It's firmly rooted in disillusionment with the narratives we've been fed about what good and healthy relationships "should" be.

Let's use an imperfect analogy. All the content out there about building healthier relationships are like those authors who teach other people how to write and publish their first novels. Even among avid followers and people who follow the course - not all of them are going to wind up getting publishing deals like author teachers did. But when that's all you ever see about books on your feed, it starts to feel like everyone is figuring out how to do this and you just...suck for some reason. Now imagine that you publishing a book was seen as a vital part of the queer movement and everyone you knew had written these great books. Imagine that talking about how difficult you're finding it to write this book was not only seen as a threat to the larger movement but also made you a leech or otherwise dangerous or bad. That's what so much relationships content feels like these days.

There's a lot of nuance to this I'm not going to be able to capture; how the taker/giver dynamic still often gets reproduced in AFAB/AFAB relationships but generally along lines of any privilege disparities rather than strictly presentation, how transmasculine folks occupy a very liminal space in this conversation because other forms of privilege can impact it how the dynamic plays out so much, how trans/queer theory hasn't developed many robust models and methods for thinking through how queer and trans folks repeat toxic conditioning in their relationships with each other, etc.

But at the end of the day, the reason I see most people dip into it - why I myself have read through their blogs looking for answers - is because the messages we're told about what relationships should be like don't match the reality of the choices we really have available to us, especially when it comes to being with AMAB folks.

The fact that so many people cannot seem to sit with is that some people have no choice but to be single and some people do not really have the choice to be single. Health care, survival needs being met, access to family members and friends, transportation, etc can all be dependent on staying with someone who does the least. Making the best out of mediocre and unfulfilling relationships is a strategy for survival.

TradWife content not only makes overfunctioning seem possible long term but meaningful in some way that the relationship itself is not. I'm sure many of those content creators really love their husbands. But emotional intimacy is rarely discussed in these spaces. It does not seem to be highly valued. And it can almost be a relief when compared to spaces that harp on the basics you're giving but not receiving so regularly, where you not leaving is seen as enabling or leeching/gold digging stead of the economic dead end that it actually is. It is both a haven and a new hell.

Queer, trans, and disabled homemakers are effectively in the alleyway between houses, instead of in a house of our own. We're running between the eaves trying to stay dry. In one space we're told that our queerness/transness is good but our unhappiness in our relationships are seen as a threat to the cause and our difficulty leaving is seen as regressive and even exploitative (which ignores all the domestic labor we do). In the other space, we're told that our domestic labor is a beautiful gift and that there's something transformative about giving without expecting in return - a tempting ideal - but that our transness and queerness are the reason for our unhappiness.

This is all just to say I get it. While I don't support TradWife content and always shoot down bioessentialism in the spaces I'm in, I also get the appeal of the idea that the work itself is something you're meant for, that that kind of caring can fill the void of never really receiving it. I get the appeal of a space that values your labor instead of erasing it as just expected and calling you a leech.

I'm glad there's good content out there for building healthier and more enjoyable relationships for those who can both genuinely pursue it. But the older I get, the more I've seen that that is a very small portion of those in relationships and those available. Many of us are even more constrained n our options and maligned in our choices. The dearth of resources on making things work in the relationships that are okay but ultimately unfulfilling means people will continue to turn to things like TradWife content.

[mamadoc]

1, 2, 11, 20😊

1 - Talk about someone who changed your life.

Okay. I took far too long to think about this. Since we're all in a post 6x6 and TTPD era, here's a vulnerable, tortured answer.

I had a very close friend for several years. My husband and I were very close to her and her husband. Our kids were friends. We went to the same church, all loved to travel, had similar interests and tastes, had all lived internationally, went on double dates, etc. We even considered having them raise our kids if my husband and I both passed away. In sum, we were super close.

Then COVID hit. As a doctor COVID was difficult. I struggled a lot because I was taking care of sick patients. I recall one tearful day of talking to a pregnant mom who was about to be transferred to the ICU and was saying goodbye to her other children. It really wasn't safe or comfortable to go to work for a long time. I wasn't really dealing with it well, especially with the people around me treating it like it didn't matter. I was really depressed for the first time in my life.

This friend didn't understand that or if she did, she didn't care. So, when I said I wasn't interested in going out in public and having any type of birthday celebration for my birthday (who wants to celebrate turning 41 anyway?), she started attacking me on a personal level. I was already in a dark place and instead of being a good friend and supporting me, she just keep sending me hateful messages.

That was the first and only time in my life I considered suicide. I reached out for help and got it. I wasn't in that dark pit for a long time. I'm much better now. I mostly have my sister to thank for that.

I brought her flowers for Valentine's Day with an apology note a few weeks after that. She never apologized. I brought treats to her a few weeks after that with an apology note explaining why I felt so hurt. I tried to call to explain how I felt so that I could heal. She never answered the phone.

I'm still not sure what I have to apologize for or why she never seemed to accept or offer an apology. But that was two years ago. We still don't talk. Our husbands don't talk. Our kids don't play together anymore. For a long time, I didn't like going to church because I knew I'd have to see her.

Most of that is better now. I'm just sad for a lost friendship and for the dark place I had to crawl out of.

I've used a slight modification of her name for a character in one of my stories who betrayed Lucy. I thought that might be therapeutic, but it just brought the situation up to the surface again.

Uhhh... I can't believe I just wrote all of that. I'll try to keep the rest of the answers a bit lighter.

2 - Talk about something you really want to do.

I LOVE to travel. I've been to 47 states and 16 countries. My husband and I had all of our plans in place to get to all 50 states before we turned 40. Then COVID hit and all of our plans were dashed when travel shut down. We're going at a slower pace now, but we're getting close to it. #48 (NM) in October, #49 (HI) July 2025 as a 20th anniversary trip, and #50 (AK) the summer of 2026.

11 - Share something you're proud of.

According to AO3's stats, I've posted over 339k words since I started posting 7 months ago (plus another 9-10k chapter I hope to finish tonight). I know there are those that blow me out of the water (Ahem, ahem @girlintotv and @centralperkchenford) with their numbers, but I'm pretty proud of that as a first-time writer and working mom with 4 young kids.

20 - Share with us a random fact or two.

I'm afraid I've already overshared. *yikes* But here we go.

I'm the oldest of 6 kids. The first 4 of us are all 23 months apart, then 27 months apart, and 25 months apart. So, we're essentially every 2 years for 10 years with all of our birthdays clustered together. 3 boys and 3 girls.

I had the chicken pox for my eighth birthday. My grandparents came to visit for my birthday, but they were afraid of getting shingles. So, I had to stay in my bedroom on the second floor, and they stayed on the first floor for the whole time they were visiting. I still remember standing in the hallway near the dining room while they sang happy birthday. One of my siblings blew out the candles for me and my mom brought me a piece of cake in the hallway. (Man, I'm still rocking those depressing TTPD vibes, aren't I?) I was officially not contagious the day my mom came home from the hospital with baby #5 in our family, and I remember being so excited to be healthy enough to hold my baby brother.

Sheesh. Now you probably won't ever ask me anything again. Between TTPD, 6x6, and the angst I'm supposed to be writing right now, I'm coming up with some strange answers.

Sorry to be the Eeyore in the crowd. Thanks for asking me to play though.

Ask game

[idsb]

so I haven't really found the words to talk about this yet but I'm finally starting to, so here goes -

I'm finding myself with a very minimal, fringe sort of scattered friends in this town. at best I don't fit in with, nor do I have the desire to fit in with, really, any of the travelers or backpackers or working holiday visa people who inhabit this place (btw; anon who warned me not to go here.... 'bogan' isn't what I'd call it but your read on the vibe was right); at worst I'm finding myself on the borderline of being straight up bullied the way I was in high school - no one outright saying mean things to my face, but that very high school esque cocktail of snarky and condescending side comments, people always going off to talk without me, laughing, and stopping laughing immediately once they're back near me, being rude enough to know it's rude but just the right balance where if I say something about it I'm the one who looks weird. how isolating that is and how it pushes you down and down and down and down inside your head. I think as an adult, once you grow up and find yourself out in the world, and get to choose the people you're around, you forget what that was like. Working in the music industry specifically and knowing only one soul in real life with a "regular" job (hi Jo), I've completely forget what that's like. In the spirit of "emotional maturity", I've probably found a way to tell myself it's all kid shit and I made it seem worse than it all was, etc, and maybe it's just people being people.

Maybe that's true.

Specifically, though, the thing I've found myself being harassed over, the main tension point, is my music taste. I've been put into this twilight zone of a reality where everyone around me straight up hates Taylor Swift (in the year 2023 I genuinely didn't think that existed more than a few fringe rondo's, but apparently all those fringe rondo's live in this town), and the ones who don't say "fuck this bitch" out loud every time her music comes on, are, at their warmest, completely indifferent to the fact that she's even alive. I haven't met one person here who would even say they enjoy 1989 or whatever. I work around 20-25 y/o's mostly, and yet I put on Lorde and Maisie and Sabrina and Backseat Lovers and The 1975 and all the pop stuff I'm aware myself and that age group really like (with a bunch of famous Aussie artists thrown in), and I'm asked if we can stop with all the "weird music" and "play things everyone knows and likes" - another twilight zone thing because I had no fucking idea every girl ever wasn't on this type of pop. I put on classic throwback Fall Out Boy and All Time Low and Paramore or even Halsey's hit songs and I'm asked why everything I listen to is "so depressing". I get fully HARASSED about my music taste by the people I work with every single day. like, multiple times an hour snide comments about "weird people music" and shit like that when I really thought my taste was pretty mainstream. then they all put on either like, the most generic of generic Top 40 radio that I didn't even realize people willingly put on; just thought big labels decided it was gonna be successful so shoved it onto commercials and radio and a bunch of Spotify playlists until they gave up, OR music that I literally would need to be borderline overdosing on cocaine to enjoy - I'm talking blasting dubstep club beats and the like... at 5:30am in a coffee shop. And I haven’t said a word to them about it or been mean about it at all, and I try really hard to be polite to them but it just doesn’t matter how nice I am; they feast on me like a pack of hungry lions anyway. I moved here to be outside, and people only ever want to go to the club. Even people I get along with want to go to the damn club every other night at the least, and I’m weird for not wanting to be anywhere near something other than a bar we can have some drinks and laughs - I didn’t even know people still went to clubs, especially not vagabond travelers in an eco tourism hotspot.

And suddenly I am my high school self all over again; feeling completely fucking normal but not falling in, not able to make myself fit no matter how hard I try. I talk to people and people laugh at what I say when we have to make conversation, because, well. I'm fucking likable and I can chat up anybody. and then, for no real reason, 20 minutes later they remember they're supposed to be bullying me and go back to it. just like how it was for me in high school, where I won the “most talkative” superlative and yet when I walked on stage to graduate half the class shouted at me that I was “scum” (lol).

So anyway. That's all to say, I photographed full-band live music last night for the first time in 3 months. And suddenly, doing that, too, I was back in high school. Living in a normal world that everyone else is at and is aware of, but in my own secret pocket of it I've carved out: a pocket where I fit. where I'm still a loser by the standards of everyone around me, but a loser who is doing something objectively cool and objectively impressive, something I thrive at that no one can talk shit about because I'm GOOD. someone I knew but have nothing in common with came up to me last night and said, “I got that you took pictures but then I saw you on stage and was like OHHHH”. and I might not belong anywhere else, might not get along with anyone else, but the second a camera is in my hand and I'm crawling behind a drum kit and jumping off a stage an artist is playing a show on, and the band who I’m acquainted with is smiling at me and they love it, and everyone sees me doing it... I belong there, and I know I belong there, and no naysayer can do or say a word about it... that's what it's all about. like the loser theater kid who comes alive on a stage in front of people when they perform and no one can argue with it anymore. I remembered why I do what I do last night. How I found it (or maybe how it found me) suddenly makes sense all over again; not some poorly made impulsive choice by a girl who was too influenced by wanting to be around the boy bands she liked, committed too hard and got stuck - which is how I've seen it in adult hindsight. live music is the faction of the world that I am just the perfect puzzle piece for. somehow the most niche thing in the world - and it does seem niche once again when surrounded by people like this - is my only solid ground in this life. I am my truest self when I am running around with a camera while someone's singing; a self that anyone can see and immediately will get it. and that's just how it is.

[landwriter]

oh my friend tell me about that just like love follow up it sounds BRILLIANT

Oh boy oh boy! Okay I've already shared so many snippets and too many tidbits so I'll just tell you *about* it.

tl;dr: If Just Like Love was about what how the Corinthian and Hob Gadling come into each other's lives in the absence of Dream and happy ignorance that it's he who haunts them both, then the sequel is about everything they manage buy with that ignorance, and what they bear in finally paying it - when the ghost they've been moving and speaking around this whole time comes back to them both.

Just Like Love jumps off from 1989 show canon and is basically set up like, okay, if just enough information was withheld, these two characters could meet, and they would be changed enough for canon to shift. Maybe the could even save each other. Or there could be a promise of it, at least. I sincerely meant to just write dirty sex but the themes. You know how it is. The symbolism got me again, boys, I'm hit, etc.

But the other thing that is withheld is Dream himself, because of his very special ability to get in his own way and make that many other people's problems. At the core of him I envision this huge bezoar of entangled duty, fate, and repression. None lend themselves well to accepting change for oneself, or allowing it for one's creations. Certainly not to being accused of it by a mere man. Being named in 1889 by Hob as a needing thing - who seeks not knowledge but base company and friendship - is such a grave insult to him. He isn't known for accepting help in canon. He thinks himself an island and indeed every time he has reached out in hunger it seems to have ended in catastrophe.

This is in contrast to Hob and the Corinthian both, unabashedly hungry, hedonistic creatures, who nonetheless are fated for their deepest and most lasting bond being to:

someone who both Made Them (as far as Hob knows!)

and can Unmake Them (as the Corinthian certainly knows and Hob surely must wonder about),

and reviles such base things as want. What is wanting something when there is duty, after all?

read: Dream, Oneiros, Protestant Work Ethic of the Endless :)

(a fun show note! Dream finds the time to condemn them both for not 'doing'/creating to his standards - the incredulous 'But what have you done?' in 1489; Dream's bit I can't summon off the top of my head at The Corinthian's unmaking at the Cereal Convention. meanwhile these guys are here to drink wine, swive women, soldier and feast)

Back to the rest of the missing information about each other: Hob does not know that the Corinthian was an accomplice in Dream's imprisonment. Hob does not know the Corinthian was made by Dream. Hob does not know he wasn't made by Dream. Hob doesn't come along on the Corinthian's Morning Arson Jaunt in Just Like Love - he doesn't even know Dream is imprisoned. Why would he? It's not like the Corinthian is especially keeping a secret here. The information is simply irrelevant because the Corinthian has no idea Hob even knows Dream. Let alone that it's Dream, in both his presence and absence, that has brought them together. They could have been allies in this, and it would have gone differently.

But instead the Corinthian frees Dream, alone. Because he was made with his master's arrogance. He wants Dream to chase him. To see him. To not find fault with the shape he was made in by Dream's own hands, and instead of casting him aside anew, to see the worth of him. Hob, in naming him and seeing him and wanting him still, gave him, I think, the last fateful drop of surety. And I think it's sort of a perfect tragedy, actually, because these two characters find something like what they were looking for in each other, and the relief of that is what sets them both on this path to misery, delivered in the shape of their missing North Star, carrying all the knowledge they were earlier spared, a fundamental disbelief in change, and the unfinished business of unmaking a wayward nightmare.

Which is to say: Just Like Love's sequel is a totally fun lighthearted madcap romp of Hob finding the Corinthian in America, going on adventures together, and caring for each other in way neither has had the luxury of ever before - of seeing and naming and changing one another: monster, hungry, not-quite-human, not-quite-nightmare - living, briefly, in their own little world; until Dream returns and finds them both, together, and the story stops asking how they might change one another, and starts asking if it will be enough.

[dufferpuffer]

What are your thoughts on snack as a ship.

There are many fics out there. Some as the teen versions and others as adult them.

One fic i really enjoyed but it had the plot of taking James away from Sirius for plot purpose. You know because James wants to keep bullying. So it was like Sirius+remus on one side where snack takes place while James and peter on the other side with jily happening on the side.

I really loved this story and the characterisation was good too but I can't see Sirius especially teen Sirius willingly breaking up with bff James. I think it would have been more fun if James tried to make friends with snape for his bff sake . Only for Sirius you know. He would not do so for lily but Sirius just has that power over him with puppy dog eyes.

Another fic I read was about ootp snack. Again it was done nicely but again here remus characterisation was a little skewed because for me post azkaban Sirius and remus didn't have a good buddy ship. They were just hanging in there for old times sake.

I mean it was not like someone hit a pause button on their friendship for 12years. Their friendship was already in ruins before James death. So i was a little icky about remus being like a normal friend and giving relationship advice and you know teasing Sirius. Because I can't see a traumatized Sirius willingly making fun with a remus. Cause one thing which I highly appreciate about canon Sirius is that he after being stuck so long, didn't seem to be struck in the past, he kept on pushing and moving forward while lupin often came across as missing good old times. They both had loads of free time in their respective isolation years but their reaction to it is different.

Anyways I really don't like how snape becomes super comfortable around lupin when he begins a relationship with Sirius in snack fics . He is scared of werewolf and fear is not rational. He won't be practical and think oh well it is not the full moon night, i an safe.

Wouldn't it feel real that even after years of being in a relationship, snape still avoid being alone with the resident wolf. In turn remus hating being avoided by thr person his bff will marry and instead of clearing the air out like a normal person, he antagonize snape. Sirius struck in the middle. Both sides ranting to him. Making him Choose, in snapes case as an ultimatum and in Remus's case passive aggressive tone. I mean Remus can play people, he can make it so that Sirius leaves snape because his bf is making his friend uncomfortable and remus is little munchkin who shouldn't be troubled.

Sorry i got carried away.

So the ask is - 1)snape and Sirius relationship thoughts - both a teen/ yong adult snack and adult traumatized snack , if you could go in that much details. + 2) How remus and snape interact , their dynamic in the role of friend and boyfriend+ 3) remus's behavior if ootp Sirius and Severus date. ( like genuinely what will he do because I can't see him being overly supportive and teasing Sirius and befriending snape etc)

Bonus : Lily and snape circling around each other (a non voldy au where they are young adults) being the partner of the main marauders knowing all too well that j and s will always be friend so they will have to suck it up if they want to stay in relationship with their respective partner.

Omg the possibilities of drama in this scenario. I mean people often tight love stories about enemies to lovers but the fun in exploring James 's reaction in learning his bff is dating snivelus. The betrayal but then it is Sirius so he will just wait until they just break up. 😂

I don't even know if you have interest in all this, please ignore if not.

Anonymous asked: What’s your take on Sirius/Snape?

Thank you for the asks!!! I've never thought too much about Snack (Sirius/Severus) before, so this was a lot of fun! They have a lot in common, but went in incompatible directions: + Both had unhappy childhoods, with a family that abused them. + Both are incredibly loyal and fight to the death. + Both are intelligent problem-solvers who boldly face challenges head-on. + Both are honest people. They blatantly say what they think. + Both are sarcastic, witty, sometimes a little cruel - but are caring at their core. – Sirius, raised in a Pureblood 'Slytherin' house, rejected every part of that heritage and built himself a new identity. – Severus, raised in a muggle house, found appreciation for his magical skills and purpose amongst Slytherin/DE's.

...I don't think there is much hope for them being friends if Sirius meets James first. James shines brightly with everything he wishes his life was: Laid back, messy, relaxed, free... Like a moth to a flame.

I agree that Sirius leaving his friends seems out of character. I think it flows better if there is a change in the environment that forces change in a character, such as: If Sirius never met James on the train - and sorted into Slytherin. ((1700 words; 3 parts: 1970s, 1990s, Remus))

1970s

If a bitter, lonely Sirius Black unsatisfied with his home life could sit down and get to know Snape, (not just butt heads like a pair of goats)... I think after a period of rivalry (them both being the two smartest in their house) they would become inseparable. Once they realized they could understand eachother so deeply, and are fascinated by eachother's worlds (muggle and pureblood) their loyalty would WELD to eachother.

Shaggy, black haired twins. The Snake-Eyes of Slytherin. The King of Transfiguration and the Prince of Potions.

- People assume Severus is Sirius' brother instead of Regulus. - They would mark their shared research/journal entries 'S.S.' in two different inks. - They would steer clear of Death Eaters – and Severus wouldn't need them in order to feel accepted. He has Sirius. - They'll be a couple of menaces: sarcastic and snarky, more interested in their own feelings above all others... - A little bullying. Sirius likes to talk smack on those he doesn't respect, but nothing serious. Maybe a hex or two. (James was more the physical bully, anyway - Sirius was at the sidelines jeering.) - Without being bullied, without facing constant pain and humiliation, without having to work out counter-jinxes... I don't think Severus would get interested in Dark Magic. - Neither of them would be able to stand James. His life has been easy, he was loved and supported... yet he has the nerve to look down upon Slytherins? He doesn't know what they have BOTH been through.

Would Severus still be friends with Lily? From his end, I think so - he is very loyal. But would she get along with Sirius' boisterous attitude? Would she think he is changing Severus for the worse? Would she get a little jealous...? It used to be just them in a world of Muggles, playing with their magic... and now Severus is smitten. Would she worry that Sirius Black is isolating him socially because they so deeply rely on eachother?

...Would she become closer to James, Remus and Peter? THAT is an interesting group... That's enough about teenagers. I want men. Man time.

1990s

Sirius and Severus have even MORE common-ground. Like grudges :) ...But they are also broken in more ways that make it difficult.

Severus has had to learn to mask his emotions. To lie. To sit back and watch horrible things happen so he can act at the best time. ...These are characteristics Sirius struggles to comprehend. He is still just as honest, just as brazen, just as bold as ever. - Sirius see's things like lying as being scummy, weak, turning your back on your morals, on who you are... for the sake of staying alive a little longer!? Cowardice! - Severus thinks Sirius is immature. Dying so easily is just selfishness masquerading as selflessness. Stay alive and fight, even at the cost of everything you are.

+ They are both stubborn; unlikely to like someone they have decided to hate. + They have both lost the light of their life to something that was partially their fault. + They have both had their lives, their dreams for the future, utterly destroyed. + They have both been trapped in a form of 'servitude' ever since that day. + They are both tired, with foul tempers. + They are both, more often than not... alone.

They are very alike... but they feel like they share nothing. The way they see the world is alien to eachother. It's a large bridge to cross... and they are both the sort to not want to bother crossing large bridges.

But they do share one all-encompassing important thing: Harry Potter is the core of their lives.

THIS is an excellent post - (my reblog in case it's taken down) That is one compelling way Sirius and Severus could make a connection and have a civil conversation.

Sirius seeing Snape in Harry's trauma/abuse surviving behaviour. Sirius has so much time to introspect, to get drunk and remember the past... now that he sees how similar Harry is to how Severus was, the fact he bullied him hurts. It's like he has bullied Harry.

Sirius is an honorable man. When he see's he has done wrong, he will bow his head and apologize... ...However, Severus isn't the type to take an apology without snark. "A little late, isn't it Black? It really took you 20 years to even consider me human?"Snape would deny having much in common with Harry. It's mostly denial ('Potter is a brat like his father') with some embarrassment, too. Snape being a prick about it would set Sirius off, of course. "Oh you can NEVER just take a good thing, can you Snivellius..." They would fight again... but I think, as Order meetings continue: - Sirius will be nicer to Severus. He has lost the taste for being nasty. - Severus will lose his taste for more than basic comments at Sirius' expense. Deep down he appreciates the apology - very few have ever apologized to him before. - The fact he treats him differently means even more. He has stuck to his words. Without the bite of hatred they start finding eachothers words humorous. Entertaining. A battle of wits rather than a battle of blood pressure. Severus visiting has gone from a test of patience to something Sirius gets excited about! It gets so boring and lonely... everyone is always so down-beat because of the war, so stressed... nobody anyone wants to BANTER. And-! Severus can tell him how Harry is doing!!!

The change in their dynamic is immediately felt by others... ...but nobody knows what to make of it. All they know is that sparks aren't flying anymore - from their tempers or their wands. They're smiling more. - Big toothy grin's from Sirius, licking his teeth and flicking his eyebrows as he thinks of something else clever to say. - Small curling smirks from Severus, leaning against the table as he shoots back some biting remark.

Snape often needs to thunder off somewhere. Things are only getting harder. The quiet, cold walls of Grimmauld Place and Sirius' eagerness to listen to anything, even complaints... it's soothing. Sirius knows so many of his secrets already. He can really let loose - and Sirius can take all of it. The anger, the sorrow, the frustration, the regrets... he finds it 'entertaining' - and always manages to bring his mood back up.

The kids don't really notice, they aren't that emotionally aware yet... ...But Harry notices when Sirius tells him off for being irresponsible in one of Snape's lessons.

"...How did you know that?!" "Severus always complains about you - but this time he was right: That WAS needlessly irresponsible. Potion making can be very dangerous." Harry completely ignored the scolding. "You and Snape... talk!?" Sirius blinks, looking a little confused. Did he and Severus... 'talk'? "...He IS a member of the Order, Harry..." Sirius chuckled, but knew his godson had a point: It was very odd that he had been spending more time with Severus... and that Severus was spending more time over.

...Severus was someone Sirius could talk to about anything. Even the horrors of Azkaban. He's seen equal or worse. Few people can keep him on his toes as much as Severus, and those that can... are rarely in the mood. But when he is trading words with Snape his brain feels like its coming back to him. It reminds him of talking to James sometimes... Was Severus always this endearing sarcastic...? Was he always this intelligent...? Was he always this quick-witted...? The boy in his memory is one that spat out curses (magical and mundane) like spitting watermelon seeds... but maybe he just wasn't really listening? He wasn't seeing him for who he was, all this time?

Remus

Remus cant tell what the odd dynamic between Sirius and Severus has become - and he doesn't really care enough to ask. He doesn't spend much time thinking about Snape. He never has. Severus was abrasive and stuck his nose where it didn't belong. Their time teaching together didn't exactly make them buddies, either.

He's just happy the man rarely interacts with him. He has little to say to Severus. Now that Severus has 'done his duty' warning the world of his condition he has little to say to Remus, too. If they had their way they'd probably never speak a word to eachother ever again.

Sirius is far better company. They weren't on the best of terms during the first war... but it is nice having an old face back in his life. Someone he knows he doesn't have to pretend with.

...SO its rather annoying when Severus gets dragged into their conversations. Sometimes he just arrives, complaining about things. Every time Sirius turns his head and starts 'playing', the conversation they were having overridden as a new shiny toy walks in. Its not even to bully him anymore! THAT he could understand: Sirius always liked riling people up, especially Severus - and these days he was desperate for any form of fun. No... this was madness. It was mutual. Severus will always pick the seat next to Sirius. They will chat and scoff and bicker, leaving Remus standing there like a houseplant. Passed up... for Snivellius. It seems ridiculous...

He doesn't want to admit that he is sore that Sirius is passing him up for a 'new friend'. He doesn't want to admit that he likes being the one shoulder Sirius can lean on. Admitting those things makes him feel selfish and petty.

Lupin has always been good at remaining civil. I don't think he would care if they formally started 'dating'... just surprised. I agree with you - I don't think his friendship is strong enough for him to put effort into becoming more than just 'civil' with Severus.

But I am torn on whether Remus will inevitably grow a little more distant as he leans more towards Tonks and the Weasleys... ...or whether he would humbly make an effort to sit down and talk to Severus, man-to-man, friend-to-boyfriend... and find all the common ground they also share with one another. (But I have more interest in Snupin - I don't want to bring that bias here, lol.)

[rowiewritesstuff]

Hello there ! I would like to ask for a match-up please♡ <:) possibly with TFP Autobots or Cons (only if you feel like doing it♡)

My name is Michaela and i'm 19. My height is 5'3 (159cm) and i am a ginger with mid long hair, freckles all over my face and honey brown colored eyes. My skin is pretty pale so i ususally wear light colored clothes like soft green and cream colored shirts (i mostly wear very baggy clothes cause i'm pretty slim) etc.♡ ^^

I'd say i'm pretty calm/shy person but sometimes my zoomies hit in and i have the urge to run around and playfight with anyone and anything i see (i love playfighting) :D i also very much enjoy spiritual conversations, stargazing, playing games and i'm also a sucker for atronomy. I love learning all about space. I'm pretty loyal and affectionate (ahem touch starved ahem) person what comes to friends and family i'm very protective of them. I am used to helping people so of course if you ask me for any help or anything in particular i am here to help. <3 I often try to play things cool and calm when anything bad happens but i am actualy screaming on the inside. I'm very careful and fearfull. I'm also trying to be open minded as much as possible and kind to everyone as long as they are kind to me back. I am basically your mirror. I also LOVE animals. Mostly parrots😭❤️ they are just so adorable when they show you affection🥺 the type of person when they see a random cat on street to stop by and just pet it or any animal😭❤️

Now what comes to my body i have a pear shaped body with pretty thin waist and a lot of small and big marks all over my arms, hands and legs. I sadly suffer from asthma so i need my inhaler at all costs if i ever get a asthma attack <:/ i am also lactose intolerant so milk is another no no for me. I rather spend time indoors but still i'm open minded for a nice car ride to any lake or water. I love swimming especially in sea.^^♡♡ my fav colors are orange, yellow, turquoise, black, soft green and white♡

I think that's all. I apologize if this is chaotic but i've never wrote a request :( i hope it's not too much♡♡ if you couldn't come up with anything feel free not to write anything at all <3 thank you so so much !♡♡♡♡

A daily note to take care of yourself, to drink water and eat enough food to keep yourself healthy !♡ ^^

I match you with: Optimus Prime!

You met Optimus during a Decepticon attack. You of course were taken to the base and assigned a guardian- Optimus Prime himself. Optimus first kept you at a distance, not wanting to get too close to you in fear you’d be used against him by the Decepticons. 

One day when Optimus was driving you home you yelled at him to stop. You were both in a secluded area out in the country. You jumped out of his cab as soon as he came to a stop and squealed in delight. He transformed thinking something was wrong but saw you looking at the sky.

“What are you looking at?” Optimus asked.

“The stars, the moon- everything.” You sighed happily. “In the cities, the smog makes it hard to see the stars. Here, you can see everything. It’s amazing.”

Optimus looked at you in awe, then to the sky. He’d forgotten what it was like to just enjoy the wonders of the world. He sat down and looked down when he felt something on his hand. You were cuddling to him for warmth as you fell asleep. He made sure that you got home safely, even going as far as placing you gently in your bed from your open window.

Optimus began taking you on regular trips to see things you liked. One time he took you to the ocean so you could play in the water. You didn’t care you were missing your swimsuit and simply ran in head first. Ratchet later scolded you when you got sick.

One day he took you to the jungle to see some monkeys and parrots, and you ended up being attacked by a tiger. He quickly scooped you into his hand and away from the tiger trying to eat you. 

When you started to breathe oddly after the tiger attack, he ran to Ratchet. Ratchet shook his head at you and handed you your inhaler. Optimus asked you what it was, and Ratchet explained. Optimus was concerned and began treating you even more like precious glass.

When it came to Decepticons, you were very cautious. You would always run and hide and call the base. One day a Vehicon scooped you up to hold you hostage against the Prime and you were terrified. You were frozen in their servo while they mocked Optimus.

“Let them go!” Arcee growled out.

“Fat chance Autobot scum!” They squeeze you tighter and you begin to panic. Your asthma begins to act up and the Vehicon looks down at you in confusion. “Is it broken?” 

Bumblebee takes the opportunity to slam into the Decepticon and snatch your body flying through the air. The rest of the Autobots quickly defeat the Vehicons and take you back to base to get your inhaler. From that moment on, Optimus was so scared you’d die before he could confess his feelings.

Optimus picked you up and placed you on his shoulder as he went to the top of the base. He sat down and offered his hands to climb on. He looked down at you with love. “I… must confess something.” 

You looked up with a knowing expression. “I love you too, Optimus.” 

The shock on his face was priceless. He then smiled softly, pulling you closer to his face. “Thank you, little star.”

[sixthsensewulf]

Something just annoys me when people say that Neverafter failed as a Horror Season. .

It was a horror season. It just moved through various horror sub genres. Did the vibe change after episode 3? yes. Did it still be a Horror season? Also Yes.

The Subgenres: Body Horror. Comedy Horror (That was the most one used, because it was 7 comedians in a HORROR SETTING), Dark Fantasy, Folk Horror, Cosmic Horror.

Horror doesn't need to be scary 100% of the time. Horror can just be creating a world of dread and uncertainty. A world where anything can happen. It was tense, it was spooky, it was a horror season.

Fucking hell. .take the video game Alien Isolation. The xenomorph learns how you play, but occasionally you know it's around, but you cant fucking see it or it's not that. That is the horror of the game. That is the tension. The pay off, you get enjoyment out of it.

Also I read a lot of horror books at the moment. The times I have been scared by a scene in a book, i can't count that high, but the reason why? The tension and the building to a reveal. The pay off. It's amazing. For Example: I got creeped out in The Ritual because of the style of writing and descriptions of the forest. You don't even see or read the description of what is chasing the main characters until literally the last chapters. I'm not kidding. That book is pretty much a Folk horror.

I've read some crazy body horror / splatterpunk that I'm not going to describe fully. Been creeped out so often and scared.

Also read some insane haunted house / psychological horror books as well. Those scare you because of the tension, the atmosphere and the build up to a moment. Like I have been fooled by a moment, where I think a scare or a jump is coming then nothing until it actually hits you.

The reason why people occasionally say it failed as Horror Season, just have one view of what a horror style TTRPG is. The common examples I believe are, Call of Cthulhu, Vampire the masquerade and Curse of Strand. Or just think horror is just how much we can scare people, jump scares galore right. It's not.

For example horror moments I loved in Neverafter:

The Spider fight. . Anything and everything could have gone wrong. And pretty much the aftermath. the description of the town being that fucked up because of the spiders.

PiB with the giants at the end - if he rolled badly, who knows what would have happened. But also he is a tiny black cat.

EVERYTHING WITH THE STEPMOTHER. Just my god. The description of her eating her children. Like the description of that moment of the group fleeing from her in the Library. Her treatment of Pinocchio. "I don't even have a name in my own story" speech (yeah that creeped me the fuck out)

Everything about Candlewick. . Yeah it was played for laughs because of Lou throwing away a Nat20 but Candlewick was just terrifying. My favourite Zac moment of that "so Brennan, who is being eaten"

Honestly the whole deal with the world between pages - that's Cosmic Horror, especially with the ink pot etc.. not going to lie, I was on edge with that episode, because my mind was going, something is too good to be true here, something is going to happen.

Ylfa - yes, 100%.. just her story, on one hand it's heartbreaking but the other the description of her eating the wolf to become the wolf..

Rosamund - got to admit I think why people think it failed as a horror season is because they were expecting more scenes like we got at the beginning. That opening sequence is incredible. The other briars moment that sticks in my head is the final fight one with Thumbelina.

Sorry for the ramble rant about Neverafter.

TLDR: THERE ARE MORE SUB GENRES FOR HORROR THAN PEOPLE THINK. BESIDES IT WAS A HORROR SEASON BECAUSE OF THAT.