#etc etc etc its just that for me specifically and what ive discovered; i want to be your run-of-the-mill typical Girl.

[blueaisha]

i keep thinking about making posts abt me de/retransitioning in hopes of reaching anybody that might need it but i don't really think they will and maybe thats for the best cause Tumblr is Insane and i think having even a few-hundred note post would kill me, but, for what it's worth...

the main thing that opened the door and let me be the gender i am and start to explore this was learning that... becoming cis isn't going to magically make me a raging transphobe, lol. changing my gender didn't feel like a big deal, but Becoming Cis, willingly, happily, openly, certainly did. hey, there's a word for people who become cis after being trans for quite some time! Hey, there is kind of a Loaded reputation and association for these people! and fuck, aren't i just lumping myself in with my worst enemies if i do this? if i go against what i've been defending all this time? if everything i've ever said and upheld and even introduced to others was WRONG for me????

so i realized smth i'm disappointed that i didn't learn the day, month, year i started questioning my gender back when i was like, 13: your gender is not inherently tied to any beliefs, opinions, personality traits, actions, etc. it's transphobic if you MAKE it transphobic. it WOULD be transphobic if i was saying "this is how it is for Everyone", or that "trans propaganda" Made Me like this or what the fuck ever, but, these aren't things i believe or agree with, so i don't say them, they aren't what my de/retransition is fueled by, and i'm not spreading these ideas about transness and detransition because I Can Still Vocally Be Against These Ideas Regardless Of My Gender!!!

you can be whatever you want, genderwise, beliefswise, cis or trans or something else, binary or nonbinary or something else, dysphoric or nondysphoric, having or not having this body part, this style you wear, this haircut, etc etc etc. the beliefs youve spent however long sticking to and living by aren't gonna magically fall out of your grasp if you do 'The Wrong Thing' with your gender, any opinion youre proposed with has to go through you first, and if your answer is 'no' it can just stay 'no'. you aren't transphobic for exploring your gender (quite the contrary i would say), and if anyone insists you inherently are regardless of what you do, well... prove them wrong. :P

[coffeeflavoredcookies]

I think it's very nice of Maggie to have written those last couple chapters specifically to make me happy (yes I just reread my fave moments)

[class1akids]

hii, so what do you think will happen to Deku?? ive been seeing soo many people on my tl saying that he'll end up quirkless and i know its not supposed to be like that but now idk anymore and with this last chapter i think he may end up quirkless which i hate btw. Anyways, what are your thots on this and where do you think the memory thing is going?

I'm sorry to say, but I've been a "Deku ends up quirkless" again truther for many years. To me, narratively, it just makes sense for the overall set-up of the main question of the manga: "Can I be a hero?" which has kept coming back in the endgame to come full circle.

In this story, we have learnt that all kinds of people can become heroes: people with "villain quirks" (like Shinsou), people with niche quirks (Aizawa, Monoma), people with troublesome quirks (Mirio), people who don't even use their quirks to be heroes (Hatsume). So I don't see how it would be only the MC, who needs specifically the greatest power in existence to be a hero. Deku needs to be able to face his quirkless middle school self and tell him with all confidence that "you can be a hero too".

To me, given how OFA evolved (the multiple quirks, the shortcuts to 100%, the short learning time), it would make sense if Deku's journey is not to be an empty chalice / tool for OFA, but OFA to be the tool for him to discover his own strengths (physical, mental, battle IQ, etc.), learn how to fight and help him to become a hero.

All Might even did the test run for an Armored Hero, mimicking the quirks of Class A and held up against AFO just as well if not better than people with quirks did. That plot is way more fitting for Deku who has actually been relentlessly studying his friends' quirks and with proto-Deku being an actual tech hero.

And on top of it, I think that Deku staying as ridiculously OP as he is would not give him a happy ending. OFA has no reason to exist once AFO (the quirk) is gone for good. Staying so OP would send Izuku down the road of All Might 2.0 - whether he wants to or not - with no life for himself. He's self-sacrificial enough that if he has the power to do everything, he will keep doing it and run to every corner of the world to help. It's isolating and that rat race is not what makes Izuku as a person happy.

He's someone who likes to hang out with his friends, stop to chat with people he saved and make candy apples to make them smile. That's where his true happiness lie imho.

The only question mark I have is because of Bakugou's ridiculous power-up. I've always thought Bakugou and Deku will end up around the same power level in the end (to keep the whole rivals thing going into post-franchise movies). Probably Shouto too, but that's less of a given.

But now, I'm not sure how Horikoshi will balance this. Bakugou is still nowhere near full-power Deku, but Armored Deku I don't think would be a credible rival to 2xAwakened Bakugou. So because of that, I can imagine, Hori will do the typical Hori-thing and won't commit and will go instead for some half-ass solution of nerfing Deku just so (e.g. having him keep Black Whip or have some asspull of the super strength fuse into his DNA, or get a quirk back from Tomura...) and then keep the fandom arguing who is stronger.

For me, the narratively more compelling story is to have Deku wake up quirkless after the big battle, after he saved the world and getting a few chapters of him getting back to his feet, and not a single soul question whether he still belongs to the hero course because of course he does. And then have absolutely everyone help him - to pitch in money to develop his armor and help him train and everyone (and especially Bakugou) treat him as absolute EQUAL and as an inspiration. And then have him graduate from UA as the first ever quirkless hero ever (and go on to work as hero partners with Bakugou probably).

Hori said that he has a lot of stuff he wants to draw after the war, and I think something like this would make sense.

[no-shxme]

since ive had people asking about it, here's

an overview of my writing process:

its very long (but split into 4 sections) so i will be posting it below the read-more. i fr threw up all over the post and it covers my writing process specifically. because i write unreliable narration >> canonic characters, etc this will prolly not be as useful for like, idk, crack fic writers or whatever else. basically this is what works for me. it might not work for you, but feel free to peruse, im sure no 2 writer's processes are exactly the same. (AND THATS COOL)

Step 1: The Idea & Start

usually my fic starts with a single scene/mood/line, and the whole fic is started around that. (for ex: my fic Teeth started bc of 1 set of lines that we haven't even gotten to yet. [sob]) this also helps me be more motivated, as i become pretty desperate to get that scene/mood/etc written. (as i write i often find new goalposts to write to, which helps keep me motivated, yeah)

occasionally i will write out an initial drabble (like 1 or 2 paragraphs) set in the story idea i have, just to see if i like whatever's going on before i commit.

before i start i decide my setting or at least whatever parts of the setting are relevant. (i wont go into it here bc that's not exactly process.) then i'm game to start.

i've heard a lot of writers struggle with starting a fic and ending it. starting a fic isn't usually a problem for me but if i don't like how the beginning is looking it's usually because i've started it too far away from relevant plot. i don't want to write too much beginning set up, so my solution is always to delete what i have and restart the scene closer to when something happens.

(for ex: when writing everything that went wrong over the summer, the story started earlier and was going to have kayn discover rhaast at the end of the first chapter. but halfway through i decided it was bad. i didnt want to reveal too much and it was kinda boring, became a slog of wordlbuilding. i hated it so i deleted it and instead we meet rhaast in literally the second paragraph.)

imo if you are having trouble with starting stories, literally just throw yourself into the action, its the best way to jog a stuck start. move up the timeline, make things move faster. ask yourself if you really need all the space before the action happens. this method also be used on other scenes, not just beginnings.

it's generally a good idea to figure out what the minimum amount of time you need to complete your story. (this plot that takes place over three weeks, can it be done in three days instead?) but i dont always do that for fanfiction, more my personal writing. fanfiction can be loose and slimy, thats okay. i'm not gonna stress myself over it like i do with my book lol. for me fanfiction is like a vacation. since the characters are already established i can be free to experiment stylistically and try new things.

Step 2: The Writing (The Slog)

(The longest section of this post)

I actually have SO many notes for my writing process so this will be all over the place.

Whenever I write ANYTHING my goals are the following:

keep things concise, without crazy exposition or information overloads.

to me writing is kinda like a puzzle, or a combination lock. i have a line or thought and i just continuously swap words around in my head or on a doc until something clicks. my goal is not just something that fits, it's something that fits BEST. (i am not always successful at this.) so yeah sometimes a line sounds good, but how do i make it sound BETTER. i am always thinking about lines. all the time. i am always turning a scene in my head trying to find the best angle. im literally doing it right now.

this is a stylistic choice that might not apply to everyone, but i love writing unreliable narrators and therefore always write them. in fanfiction i like trying to keep the characters close to their canon personalities, so a lot of the following advice is through that lens.

WHEN IT COMES TO PLOT:

by the time i write my first scene i usually have an idea of the ending. i'm not too terribly focused on it but i definitely prefer to know it. its just something i have to reach eventually. usually little plot ideas will start sprouting up like checkpoints between the start and the end, and then it's just the matter of figuring out how to bridge the gaps between them. one of my favorite tricks i like to use for longer or difficult plots is work backwards. (i call it Keyframing)

(for ex: let's say i'm writing a story about a knight who marries a dragon, but i can't figure out how the hell that's gonna happen. an easy way to come up with ideas is think: what's 1 thing that has to happen between the start goal (there's a knight) and the ending (married to a dragon)? it could be something simple. the knight has to get to the dragon's lair before he can get married. okay, great, there's another plot checkpoint. now what's 1 thing that has to happen between the start and getting to the lair? and also what's 1 thing that has to happen between getting to the lair and getting married?

as you keep adding 1 thing to the plot between points, it basically writes itself, or gives you a very good list of things that HAVE to happen in order to progress the story. then you can add embellishments and tweak it, but its a good method i use for avoiding over-complicated plot. periodically i also ask myself: can this be simplified further?

in cases where i don't have an ending in mind (about 35% of the time) i let my characters drive the plot. this is very easy because i write unreliable, character focused narration. all i think is: ok what're they gonna do. how would they do xyz. hows this affect them. i'll also think about my end goal for the character as it slowly develops and ask myself if it's realistic for them. i don't write crack so if it's something a character won't do then i just won't write it. i'll figure out some other goal or method to achieve the same effect, even if the scrapped idea is cute. :C the end result is usually a more convincing character. (once again this is literally just how i write ff. you DONT have to write like this) in many cases the goal is fine but the method isn't, so i have to rethink how the character realistically reaches that goal. (this was very much the case in my fic, One Promise)

WHEN IT COMES TO WRITER'S BLOCK:

here's my methods for getting over writer's block in no particular order:

taking a break. (or a nap)

reading poetry (this helps bc i try to write poetic) or just read, if im in a pickle.

changing location. (if you write on your phone/laptop. just go somewhere else)

delete the scene and restart from a diff angle. (not advised tbh. i dont think this is a good method, even if it works for me. im only listing it bc its something i do.)

to a lesser degree: changing the font, listening to music i would never listen to normally. or not listening to music at all.

walking around in circles talking to myself about whatever line im chewing on. :/

Okay now im just gonna list a mixed bag of shit that pertains to my literal writing process:

i use google docs because i like to write on my phone and my tablet. i will write in bed before sleeping or in the car. ill write wherever. occasionally i will also use scrivener on my pc for writing assistance. or ms paint. (dont make me go into it)

i almost always try to write what the CHARACTER sees or experiences, versus what a narrator would see. (for example, in my fic Teeth, sett's ears are mentioned a lot. it's because talon keeps noticing them.) this is super important in my writing as it also serves meaning and makes things more concise. oh a character is an artist? so they might notice the technique in a painting. versus the same painting viewed by a carpenter, who might focus more on describing the picture frame. i have specific thoughts on (confident) character voice/unreliable narration, but this post is long lol. if anyone wants to hear it lemme know.

for the most part i only try to describe what's necessary. im not trying to introduce too many characters BY NAME or too many places or too much detailed description-dumping, unless im trying to hide something. ESPECIALLY IN FAN FICTION. one thing i keep in mind is that the reader will fill in the gap. like i could write 'a kitchen with green walls and one window' and boom you already have an idea of what the kitchen could look like. i could write a character using a stove and different readers might imagine that stove in two different places, as pertaining to their imaginary kitchen. that's fine. as long as the location of the stove is unimportant then i dont need to describe it. basically if it's not Vital to my vision then i often don't bother writing it. (this also allows me to push themes and sneak things, but this post is too long)

often while i write im thinking ahead, so ill start noting future lines/plot ideas to use at the bottom of the document so i dont forget them. if it's a long fic my lines-to-be-used will be like, pages long lol.

JUST WRITE. I JUST WRITE. sometimes its slop, that okay. i try to write every single day.

whenever i return to a wip i reread it to get in the Groove.

as i write i sometimes make comments (in google docs) on some words that i know are placeholders. like i'll write a sentence and think: i need to change that word, but im too in the flow to do that now, so i just make a quick note so i dont miss it when editing. i have shorthand for it too, like for example, WC stands for 'word choice' and REP stands for 'too much repetition.' sometimes im lazy and dont do this ._.

speaking of repetition, one of my lil tricks is to start a list of repetitive words as i write. i will often throw in the names of characters, and some common pitfall words for me (words that i have a tendency to use too often). this is helpful for....

Step 3: The Editing

okay first i take a break. the length often depends on how long the fic is. if its a shortie then i just play a game or 2 of league or smth. i must banish the story from my brain.

when i come back i give it a read over and edit whatever issues i see, reword, blah blah. i also use Ctrl + F with my list of repetitive words! this way i can clearly see problem areas where i've used the same word too close together. i will also Ctrl + F grammar missteps, namely double spaces, double periods, and double commas.

for word choice ideas i use wordhippo :3c sometimes i recognize that a line needs to cook so ill come back to it.

i also do character checks where needed. (Would they REALLY do that?) at this point i can identify a problem area pretty easily so i dont do it that much anymore.

then as my final editing step i read the whole thing aloud. this step is so important that i never skip it, even on long ass docs. reading it aloud to myself is vital. when i read it aloud i can actually test the dialogue and see cadence issues and random mistakes that i never catch anywhere else. for longer stories this is done chapter by chapter as finished, which is,,, thank god lol.

if im unsure about a story then i'll let it ferment for a while (days, weeks) before i come back and edit, just to make sure im not crazy or smth.

Step 4: The Posting

i post in ao3's rich text format, so it keeps some of the formatting. then i hit PREVIEW and then i hit EDIT again. bc ao3 is finicky about italics and will add weird ugly spaces bc of that. so to get rid of them i use my CTRL + F method again to check for space + periods (literally a space then a period), space + commas, double spaces (again), etc. i also center those *** things that people use as scene breaks bc they're never centered. takes like 5 minutes.

then i post and try not to feel immediately awful lol.

anyway that's my writing process. this ended up super fucking long holy shit. sorry i like, rambled and blabbed. i try to be thorough. there's a lot more that i can talk about not pertaining to the process itself but like, yeahhhh. thanks if you read all this, hopefully its not terribly boring.

[kermiekermie]

btw heres some tumblr etiquette for the new twitter folks (feel free to rb):

yes, your likes can be public, but things you like wont come up on your followers' dash. ALWAYS RB ART AND CONTENT YOU LIKE!!

tags are just for rambling, usually. you can add tags to help people find your stuff (ex: #____ fanart, #character, #fandom, etc.) but you dont need to do that on rbs and just random shitposts. YOU CAN ADD SPACES TO TAGS! also, click enter before adding another tag orherwise youll get one big long tag

YOU DONT NEED TO TAG THINGS AS tw//___ LIKE ON TWITTER! add it in the tags as #tw ___ or #____ tw, then people can just filter that tag! (some people may also have ____ dont look tags that they filter for their personal triggers, use those if theyre your mutual as it makes things very easy imo)

for long posts (like in-depth explanations and arguments, analyzing content, etc.) use a read more divider. this makes scrolling a lot better bc you arent constsntly scrolling past massive walls of text. (on mobile, simply do :readmore: and press enter, and on desktop, click the 3 dots and add it!)

oh my god please fucking tag x reader fics if youre gonna write them i want to strangle the people who dont tag x readers

if u think ppl on twitter block a lot get ready for this! if you have a blank blog, blocked, youre a bot. if you post anything someone doesnt like, blocked. curate your experience! people (me included) arent very lenient with blocking and tend to check blogs much more here bc its easy to do, so just be careful if u dont wanna be blocked.

please respect dnis. its not that hard like actually

you can send asks and submissions anonymously! for asks, click the "send anonymously" button (not everyone has this feature turned on though!) and for submissions, log out and send your submission, and your url will not be attached!

arguing and discourse here is much more civil and in-depth than on twitter, because we dont have the character limit. yes, some ppl will still send you d34th threats instead of articulating themselves, but thats not nearly as common!!!!

don't tag mcyt posts with #minecraft or #mineblr. those r for pretty builds and minecraft updates and stuff. if u do this u are committing a cardinal sin and mineblr WILL deal w you......

genuinely, just be yourself! yes, "tumblr humor" is a thing that exists, but people will follow you for you and your content specifically, so dont feel pressured to talk and respond a certain way. i did that at first and tbh i didnt like it!!!! youre you!!!! express that!!!

i may add onto this post as things come to mind, but thats just what i can think of that i struggled with and others ive seen have struggled with, hope this helps!!

tumblr can be hard to use, and theres not really "big accounts". everyone is just roaming and doing their own thing. there can be a learning curve, and thats ok! its hard to discover new blogs here, but after a while you can get a hang on it and its a lot less toxic than other social medias imo!!!! its very easy to curate what you want to see.

[smileymoth]

@pikslasrce tagged me to post my top albums from this year :))

senses fail - still searching // armor for sleep - what to do when you are dead // senses fail -let it enfold you hollywood undead - hotel kalifornia // boysnightout - make yourself sick // wilbur soot - your city gave me asthma alesana - the emptiness // bedwetters - meet the f@cking bedwetters // bring me the horizon - sempiternal

do not ask me how many times i've listened to these 9 albums idon't even know myself. it's way too much though. i couldn't put all 4 boysnightout albums here so i just stayed at 1 and put it in the very middle because they altered my brain chemistry <33

senses fail gets 2 albums because i didnt spend weeks only listening to those 2 albums for no reason... their lyrics mean sm to me i want to illustrate the albums or songs one day. this goes for both senses fail and boysnightout btw. AND armor for sleep. there's something about that specific album. i realised i really enjoy albums that tell a story. and the fact that i like themes of angst love blood betrayal etc etc is no surprise either. car underwater got played way too many times

i discovered bedwetters thanks to eurovision, they were one of the options for estonia and i ofc found their old and only album (they released a new one a few weeks ago tho) (i dont know why they have 2 spotify accounts. im not asking). i even got to see them live bc they gave a free concert during summer <33333333 i got a picture with the band too !!!!! so cool

the new hollywood undead album got me back into them so im back to being obsessed. i love my silly california guys :3 i've been keeping up with them since and i desperately need to draw them again, this time without their masks!!!! im very glad that i found alesana to be sooo palatable this year because ive tried to listen to them before when i was a teenager and it just... didn't click, even if i tired. so yeah i get to fix that mistake now.

in spring i had a moment where i listened to sempiternal on repeat on the cd player for multiple days straight and in the past month i've, again, been listening to bmth and specifically sempiternal again so it gets a special place, too.

wilbur is just there because i had jubilee line stuck in my head so so so so much and also it's the best study music ever. also wilbur why is i'm sorry boris so silent. i can barely hear it it makes me angry so i always skip it. and then bc its the end of the album it gives me some lmanburg flag cover-art song that i don't like

anyway here's a special mention to these 3 albums because 1) greeley estates - caveat emptor, i just discovered it this week and i am in love. also greeley estates has been in my radar for quite some time now and i find the singers voice to be very pleasant and interesting? the tone does sth for me 2) brand new - deja entendu, for being stuck in my head for a good week because the tommy gun song wouldn't leave my head since it came on shuffle from my saved mp3 list when net was down 3) just surrender - if these streets could talk, because again i was obsessing over this for like a good week before i forgot about it. good album. not available in serbia tho for some reason

can you tell i love talking about music that i like. i know nothing about music it just makes me happy. :)

anyway i am tagging uhhhh @varteeny1234 and @complicatedsurgery and uhhh @cactusringed and uhhhh anyone else who wants + i'm not gona tag you, sly, because you only listen to alex g anyway <3

[sojrner-fishsticcc]

loona pm - further updates!

lots and lots of updates for this post! been trying to make roughly a post per day to not go overboard but still share what im working on cos MAN ive been absolutely going through this project! this rules!!!

so first off, very minor and later addition i finally gave loona glowing eyes! ive been meaning to do that for a while but i finally figured out how to! so yah, she looks v pretty now.

the major thing was animation. WAYYY more animation. i discovered the cpm modeling discord last night and its helped me get a really good grip on how it works (if you ever use cpm, go there because trust me you are not going to figure this stuff out on your own.) so heres just a big list of poses i animated (still a lot left! ahh!!!)

 - walk cycle (improved!) now looking at it after looking away from it for a while it looks a lil goofy so i might rework it at some point but god i cant get over how nice that digitigrade cycle looks.

 - run cycle! (omg its so cool im so so happy with how it came out) like seriously. i am so so proud of this. some of the hair bobbing and the chest and head movements are a bit stiff so i will probably improve on them. still, this is absolutely the part im the most proud of.

 - jumping (meshes super well with running anim, a bit buggy when falling long distances but thats a bug with cpm itself) i recorded this one in game since AHGHHHH it looks so cool in context. the running-jumps are rad as hell.

 - sneaking and sneak walking. like the running, i cant get over how the digitigrade walk cycle here looks. it has a lot of bone clipping that is probably not anatomically correct nor comfortable but whatever. it looks cool and i like it. sneaking is still buggy, so i cant do things like spam the shift key as that little “hello!” thing that some people do, because cpm has some issues switching between poses instantly, so here when crouchign for a split second it displays the default crouch but then corrects itself making it bug out. that sucks but i dont really know if theres much i can do about it.

- punching/swinging with both hands! more of a minor thing, but hey these little details are super important. id love to figure out if i could make a context thing so that it makes a full horizontal swing when holding a sword or weapon. (i didnt feel like recording a gif for this just believe me bro.)

thats about all i have so far. i plan to do much more and fix some minor bugs like symmetry in walk cycles soon but its a bit difficult. also, not only animation got an overhaul- i also finally implemented proper armor mapping that’s compatible with (hopefully!) any armor set! heres a demonstration of that using the minecraft dungeons armor & weapons mods, just bcos they look very cool and they help a lot with details in armor. (oh and btw, i made the hair specifically press down against her head when wearing armor, of you can tell)

as a further plan, i really want to add some extra movement stuff to this. i know that custom player models allows changing the hitbox, health, reach, etc. and i really want to make this loona model run really fast and have a super high jump. like i said in a previous post, im a big fan of the videos \@rohan_furries posts of his mod which adds detailed anthro fox models to mc, and one of the things it does is add a ton more movement so you can absolutely fly around and lunge and stuff. i really want to add that because GOD running around and kicking ass in this model would be i think the coolest thing in the world. i really hope i can add more detail to the animations because i would love to just stack so much detail on this thing until its so so so smooth... but generally i think itll be mostly finished by the end of this upcoming week, including polishing some of the already existing poses. but ill probably still continue working on it beyond then to add some cool movement stuff like i said above, which i dont know if its even possible but GOD if it isnt im going to figure out how to get it working. i also want to get it working with other buggy things, like some modded armor sets arent compatible with the armor mapping ive set up. ill have to ask around on the cpm discord for that because god the people there really seem to know what theyre doing. theyre all rad as hell btw. other ideas ive had include blinking anims, maybe some more polished idle poses, startup and finishing anims that help it transition between poses more smoothly (which i swear to god might be broken but might just be doing it wrong.) and also gestures if i can figure those out. i also might try to change the arms to be made of two segments instead of the current one so i can get a bit more detailed with the posing. im struggling between adding detail and maintaining the minecraft artstyle. im also excited to finish this project so i can do this all over again but better with another model. dont really know what character its going to be, if you have any suggestions send them to me i guess? idk, i might find a cool one or make one of my ocs or make an oc just for this.

when i finish this model i dont really know what to do with it. its mainly a little project for myself, but i really want to share it with people. ideally id want to sell it for like 10-20 dollars because this thing has taken hours of my time but i still want to share it with people, but im 16 and dont have a way to transfer cash :\ might figure something out, whatever. if you’re interested in getting your hands on it once its finished maybe send me a message? i cant guarantee it but i might if you seem cool.

ok, NOW i need to go to bed since its like LATE as HELL right now. good night guys :)

[ileaveclawmarks]

I think the porn debate is really interesting. Obviously all forms of labour are unethical under capitalism, but I was just wondering what your views were on independently created "ethical"(lol) porn, especially porn featuring performers who are dykes irl and directed by other queer people, and pornography as a creative medium?

this is a really great ask and actually one ive been thinking about for a long time since i discovered on our backs (the first lesbian-run erotica magazine in the US) and the rift it created between its editors/photographers and other feminists who were against depictions of sexual violence, demeaning imagery, pornography. the interesting thing about on our backs is that even its title is an ironic reversal of another feminist publication at the time called off our backs, a feminist newsjournal that published pieces concerned with the liberation of women. it ran for nearly 40 decades, from 1970 to 2008, gaining a major subscriber population and even commissioning artists like alison bechdel (ive posted the art at the bottom).

the publishers of on our backs thought off our backs was prudish and regressive, while the publishers of off our backs thought on our backs was disruptive and harmful. with that said i dont think either group of women could have possibly imagined a world where pornography is so rampant, pervasive, and violent as it is today. i also think the world has a lot of room for dyke erotica that isnt made by or for men in any way shape or form, and theres a sore lack of material made to specifically and unapologetically capture lesbian sexuality. the fact that theres little to none of this type of “porn” to base an opinion on means i cant really comment and the feminist in me hesitates but the dyke in me says id like to see it tried. LOL. to be honest if we could bring back a magazine like on our backs i think that would be enough for me. as far as i know the only magazine doing something similar is rub magazine (which queen bratvampgf has actually worked with before … !) if you want to check it out but as ive talked about with her even it seems to have its problems with the way it edits its submissions, how it treats its models, etc. nothing is perfect unfortunately.

anyways if you wanted to carry on discussing the porn thing with CIVILITY AND RESPECT, there are a couple asks still sitting in my inbox i would have liked to have answered but i wont publicly, so feel free to dm me. Love and light to you

[leareadsheresy]

Horus Rising Part 1: The Deceived

This post contains spoilers for the The Deceived, the first part (and approximately the first half) of Horus Rising by Dan Abnett, first published as a novel on (as nearly as I can tell) April 6th, 2006. This is all material I've read years ago, so I can't provide fresh eyes on it. However, that also means I've been thinking about it for a while.

I considered doing a plot summary but I'm not going to; it was taking too long to type. So. It's immediately obvious what Abnett is doing here with the dramatic irony -- the first line of the book is "I was there when Horus slew the Emperor" and the book remarks of the Justaerin lead by Ezekyle Abaddon that they seem to be of a different, black Legion, etc. -- but I have to remember that this was published in April 2006, during Warhammer 40k 4th Edition. The Horus Heresy wouldn't be its own game until October 2012, six and a half years later. He is laying it on thick because doing a pseudo-historical book series where the whole point is you know where things will end up and the drama and tension stem from how it'll get there still feels novel; it doesn't yet feel assumed.

I do want to call to attention one specific passage, though, early in the book, that is significant to me:

"Except that for all its martial technologies, the enemy lacked one essential quality, and that quality was locked within each and every case of Mark IV power armour: the genetically enhanced flesh and blood of the Imperial Astartes. Modified, refined, post-human, the Astartes were superior to anything they had met or would ever meet."

Around the same time I first read this book I also read Guy Haley's Dark Imperium, the first version before the rewrite to bring it into line with the revised 9th edition 40k timeline. There is a similar passage early in the first edition of that book introducing Primaris Space Marines, which says clearly that the first generation Space Marines are hopelessly outclassed and made obsolete by the Primaris. Reading those two passages in close proximity made it viscerally clear that Black Library, GW's publishing arm, is ultimately all just ads for whatever miniatures they're trying to sell at the moment. This is something I'd been aware of before then, but the juxtaposition of those two passages really drove it home. (The Dark Imperium rewrite removed that passage in favor of something that says there's effectively no difference between Firstborn and Primaris anymore.)

Anyway, I'd also like to draw attention to the way Loken's squad seems to have a dedicated plasma gunner; since Heresy isn't its own game yet, Dan Abnett seems to be writing the Luna Wolves as fighting with M.41-era tactical squads. Though given that Loken is First Captain of the Tenth, you could read that as just being a command squad thing. The book also talks about Devastator Squads instead of heavy support. This isn't important but it's kind of funny, in an "Oh, of course they hadn't figured that out yet" way.

I think the book handles reasonably well that the Imperium of Man are implicitly villainous, while stepping back a bit from fully addressing it. The setup is that the 63rd expeditionary fleet arrives at 63-19 to discover a flourishing human civilization and send a peace envoy to negotiate Compliance, who the emperor of the planet has executed out of turn for saying something offensive. The fleet then sends a force of Space Marines to attack the planetary capital and decapitate the civilization's government. The locals bring up the issue of "Why couldn't you just leave us alone?" but, like, dudes you killed their diplomatic envoy out of hand; what did you think would happen? On the other hand, it's made clear that leaving them alone really wasn't an option -- even if the locals hadn't executed the visiting diplomat and had merely politely requested that the fleet leave, the options were always surrender or war, and this is being presented as A Problem… but the execution of the envoy provides moral justification of the invasion so the audience isn't forced to confront the Imperium being fully villainous right away.

Something I didn't notice when I read this the first time, but which stands out now, is that this part of the book is literally called The Deceived. I think my eyes just skimmed over that title page years ago. The subject of this part of the book is the way everyone relates to Horus, a character who does not get a point-of-view section and who's clearly flattering everyone around him at all times; everyone loves him because he seems to love and value everyone. One of the common complaints about False Gods and definitely one I felt when reading it was that it has Horus slide into treachery too quickly, but in light of specifically this section's title, I think that maybe makes me like what I remember of False Gods more? Horus is already deceiving everyone. One influence on me here is Arbiter Ian's videos where he makes the argument that the Heresy couldn't have worked if the Warmaster hadn't been at least planning for something like it as a possibility for long before the events of this book -- he was clearly moving people and materiel around for a scenario like this for decades. On my first read I think I assumed the book was being coy about it but was leaning towards Horus still being loyal at this time so his treachery would be more tragic later; on my second read, it seems like Horus is already a secret traitor and is playing everyone, which might make False Gods less jarring… but I do think makes this one somewhat less interesting. I would much rather read a book about a mostly-loyal Horus turning traitor than an already-traitor Horus setting his plan in motion. The book is trying to eat its cake and have it, too.

(I said some mean things about Horus Heresy YouTube Lore Explainers earlier, but Arbiter Ian's great, and his historiographic approach to Warhammer fiction is consistently interesting.)

I do not like the way Samus and warp daemons and Space Marine possession are handled, I think for two reasons, one substantial and one petty.

Here's the petty reason: Samus has a series of catchphrases he whispers in peoples' ears before possessing someone and murdering their friends, and some of those catchphrases are effective while others are fuckin' weaksauce. "Look out! Samus is here" is not a scary catch phrase for a daemon. "Samus will gnaw on your bones" is also pretty blunt. "Samus is the man beside you" is great understated horror, but the way his creepy whisper is structured, it starts strong and gets weaker and ends on its weakest point. It really, really diffuses the tension Abnett is trying to set up.

Here's the substantial reason: If you're going to do a book series where one of the plot points is Space Marines and Imperial civilians raised in the radical atheism of the Imperial Truth, totally convinced there's no such thing as gods or spirits or supernatural forces, first encountering daemons and warp possession and having their view of the universe shattered, it is no good to set it when someone higher up can immediately show up and go "Oh yeah we totally know about those already but it's a secret; don't tell anyone daemons are real, also, this is just like those other times you fought possessed people who just happened not to be space marines, remember?" And granted it's Horus who provides that explanation but it's too obvious -- if he's jerking Loken around, he should have been able to present an alternate take on things that both left Loken more reassured while leaving the audience wondering whether Horus knows more than he's saying or not, instead of just immediately telling the truth in a way that reassures us the Astartes aren't actually facing an outside context problem, don't worry, we've totes got context for this. Like, the book sets up a really interesting source of drama and immediately diffuses it, like Samus's whispered chat in macrocosm. And that kinda relates to what I said above about Horus already being a secret traitor: This is the wrong point in the Heresy to start the Heresy novel series. A better version of this story would have had Samus's possession of Xayver Jubal be a more jarring, less explicable event, with Samus himself being creepier, and set Horus himself earlier along on his development towards treason.

That said, the Horus Heresy wasn't originally planned to be a 64-volume series. GW originally greenlit three books: Horus Rising, False Gods, and Galaxy in Flames. In light of that it's clear why they jumped right into Horus's, uh, heresy. But the book is shooting for two different goals and falling just short of each.

(There's also the arguable issue that it's hard for warp fuckery to be a truly outside-context problem for the Astartes, given how much warp fuckery they had to face up against during the Unification Wars, but you could even use that -- if the Unification Wars were two hundred plus years ago and knowledge of warp fuckery had been suppressed in the name of the Imperial Truth, then ancient stories of Astartes fighting things like this coming up in the wake of Samus's massacre could be a way to establish the horror of the situation. Later on the book goes into the warrior lodges, secret societies where Space Marines are encourated to speak freely to each other outside the boundaries of rank and regulation -- the book could have had old stories of daemonic possession come out there, while being suppressed outside of the lodge meetings.)

Anyway those are my thoughts on Horus Rising Part 1: The Deceived. Subsequent entries to this blog will probably be shorter than this. This took a long time to compose.

[literalite]

!!!NOT A WCIF!!!!

hiiii <3 big ask big answer is what i'm expecting would LOVE to know your top 5/faves across various media that are new(in release or just new to you) this year! so: shows, movies, games, books, songs/albums, new artists you've discovered etc

HI IMO 🫶 happy bday btwwww!!!!! heres my top five seven of this year in no particular order 😈

LAUREL HELL by mitski (2022)

one thing about me is that i LOVE mitski... i've been waiting for the new album ever since working for the knife dropped in 2021 and she did not disappoint literally so many of the songs were SO relatable and applicable to my life its safe to say she carried me thru early 2022... heat lightning and should've been me are my two fav songs from the album but literally the whole thing is no skips for me

EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE directed by daniel kwan and daniel scheinert (2022)

no bcos i walked into this movie hearing so many good things about it i was kind of worried ab it being underwhelming to my expectations But It Was Not. it made me bawl the first time i watched it highkey 🤭 something about the specific flavour of parental... disappointment?? love??? it was beautifully crafted and stephanie hsu's performance to me was unforgettable im probably going to go watch her entire portfolio ive watched the vid below like 10 times

MOB PSYCHO 100 from one and studio bones (2016-2022)

jort recommended this show to me and i finally bit the bullet and watched it in may... ITS SO BEAUTIFUL. IT JUST. clenches fist idkkk this show just is stunning on so many levels visually its my fav anime i think??? so many frames that will live in my head forever... also the nature of the narrative about Kindness without the like framework of whether its "deserved" or you're worthy of giving or receiving it really spoke to me. hats off to jort for this i'm rlly glad i got to start it while the show was airing

SMITHEREENS by joji (2022)

unfortunately i am genuinely a joji fan so i was super hyped for this album... he's got such a melancholy(?) tone to his music that rlly speaks to me i think if i seriously made music i would probably want to emulate that if even a little. my only criticism is i wished the album was longer HDKSHSK die for you and 1am freestyle r my favourite songs from it

NOPE directed by jordan peele (2022)

what hasn't already been said about this movie. IT'S SO GOOD. i love my horror movies but i will freely admit that like 80% of the films in the entire genre are just objectively Bad especially american made horror movies 🤭 jordan peele completely sidesteps that issue and nope has to be my fav of his works so far i think. it has layers like an onion i'm still thinking about it like months after watching it... mr peele already had a fan in me for life but this solidifies it

ANDOR created by tony gilroy (2022-?)

okay hear me out i know its star wars (👎) and thus my opinion on the franchise has generally been biased but this show literally knocked my ass into the water it was so unexpectedly good? and not good in a pitying oh at least x character from x series made a cameo NO the show like knew exactly what it was trying to say and said it beautifully. diego lunas performance was genuinely so moving i highly recommend everyone even if u havent watched star wars!! u dont need like all the context just watch a new hope and rogue one after the show? maybe

ICYMI by eden (2022)

finishing off with my personal fav artist of all tiiime 🥰🥰🥰 ive been literally obsessed with his music the second i found it so i was waiting patiently for this album for ages. no skip ass album i just fucking love his music it feels like im levitating it feels like my soul is being read. if i made music and it had even a sliver of this albums energy i'd die a happy man. i literally listened to nothing but it for like a week straight i think. my fav songs from it are balling and closer 2

[foreverandmoretarot]

how to know if you have a soulmate and get signs from them?

hi! thank you sm for asking! i want to start off by saying everyone has a soulmate. you may have one, or multiple, but at least one. it could be romantic or platonic too.

i'd say most people probably won't meet their soulmate in this life. it takes a lot of personal growth to actually reach them, and most wont want to experience the necessary struggles.

i have an oddly strong connection to my soulmate, so it makes communicating and reaching him a lotttt easier, but even then i'd still say this journey is one hell of a ride.

another thing to take in account is if your soulmate wants to/is in the right space to meet you. they may still be working on themselves, feel fulfilled with the people in their life, have different beliefs than you, live far away, etc. but i dont say all this to discourage you!! trying wont hurt, and even connecting with them spiritually rather than their human self on earth can be just as fulfilling!

so onto your second question, how do you get signs from them? my main "sign" is telepathy, which is a weird concept for me to explain skdkd. ive never really explained my personal methods to anyone, so sorry if this comes off odd. for me, i think of it as giving him access to my current thoughts rather than sending a message all the way over to him.

im sure your next question is, how do you send a telepathic message?

the most common way is to visualize your message through images, and think of the person/entity and imagine it traveling towards them. that method has worked 50/50 for me

what i do instead isnt really a method, rather something i realized i could do and brought results. i sort of focus on something and say a word/phrase inside my head. you know that little voice you use to think that isnt actually saying something but you can hear it? some refer to it as your inner monologue. its like that, except theres also this "white noise" type sound/feeling i add. it helps when theres no loud sounds around me, i close my eyes, and repeat the phrase a few times to make sure it sent clearly. sometimes i also visualize the words to help

another method is dreams! meeting up with your soulmate in a lucid dream, using dream meanings to get messages, etc. i like this one because its really relaxed and you may find dreams easier to interpret than other spiritual methods

theres also tarot cards and pendulums. i'd say these ones are a little tricky because unless you do it yourself- you may not fully trust the person to be interpreting it properly or having your best interest at hand. i'd say take whatever resonates!

angel numbers

letters and objects. you can write a letter to your soulmate and at the end, ask for them to put an object, animal, word, etc in your life to show theyve read it. some burn the letter, bury it in soil, or place it in nature. for example, if you had the word stork, you'll see one randomly where you wouldnt expect. or if you had the word dictionary, someone would bring it up in a conversation. the sign while definitely stick out

songs. not as often now, but when i'd listen to music, a specific line of a song just really stuck out to me. it was like when you get a shiver down your spine except with my mind? i think those could have been things he wanted to say to me. but id recommend listening to random playlists and you might find songs with lyrics that resonate a lot

these are just some things ive used that worked for me, you may discover your own methods in your journey! i think theres beauty in letting the universe show you things in a unique way meant specially for you. music is an important part in both his and my life, which is why i think the song lyrics is a way for us to communicate. even though ive never heard of someone having that sign, it works for me. so overall dont stress it, dont force yourself, and have fun loving your other half :)

[mysticetus]

thank you so so so much for the detailed ask!!! i've recently considered going into that field and that information / suggestion is super helpful for my decision :) i didn't know you were a biology major! that's so cool! how has it been so far? what kind of courses you took in high school do you use now / what do you feel are specific essential areas? i hope that doesn't sound like a strange question to ask, i've got some memory issues and knowing what specifically to focus on before i get into college could help a lot :)

no problem its not often i get to talk about the work that i do so im glad to write stuff.

when it comes to academic advice i have to preface it by saying things depend greatly on what is available to you, since “biology major” can fall under a ton of different things and im not sure theres a universal system for it … some examples ive seen are biology BS (bachelor of science) which is more useful for microbiology and if you want to go into research, biochemistry, or the medical field … biology BA (bachelor of art) which is better for macrobiology like zoology, and people looking to go into education. Theres also ecology and evolutionary biology, and more specific majors like botany, marine bio, etc ….

or your college might just have a single biology major. it really depends. my college happens to have a robust bio department and thats the main reason i wanted to go here. they usually have information on offered majors on their website but i assume youre looking at that anyway lol.

A nice piece of advice i received from someone in the field was when i attended the necropsy of an adult female sea lion, the woman performing it recommended we get a general biology degree rather than marine biology, since general bio offers you more opportunity. For example if you want to work in like… idaho studying golden eagles or kansas looking at salamander species you cant much use a marine bio degree for that. But a general bio degree is helpful in most marine bio environments. (Also marine bio is extremely competitive and the work is usually expensive but thats another conversation…)

in high school the class most useful to me was definitely physiology which was a science elective for me. It went over like…bone names and organ systems and how muscles work and all that … its still useful to me. You could also look into APES (ap environmental science) if thats something available to you. but generally i think you should take classes that are interesting to you! bio is a huge field and you may discover something really amazing if you just follow your nose.

and high school isnt all there is, you could see if theres a local museum or wildlife rescue center that takes youth workers/volunteers. More often than not facilities like this are non profit and depend on volunteer work so they might have something available. For paying jobs you could look into pet stores, sounds weird but there was an aquarium store in my town that had tons of species and the employees there are mostly really nerdy teenagers. similar situation with a reptile store near me, they literally breed chicks to feed the snakes. animal husbandry is a great way to observe like. Feeding behaviors and ecological roles. Doing work in actual places where a bio degree is applied helped inform my decision and i also learned a lot on the job. i never really freaked out about extracurriculars i just did this stuff because it seemed cool but it definitely helps with getting into college in the first place.

hope this helps

[redstone-sun]

44

44: rant about something writing related

ok you asked for it

so on the current project that im working on im about twentyish pages into the second draft and god do you really see all the flaws in your writing when you have to write it out a second time and the problem ive discovered is that i use the typical fanfic epithets BUT only kind of, and mainly like 'the man' and 'the place.' 'the place' a whole lot more somehow, and i dont really know how to explain it! its a pain. the other problem with this fic is that its making me spell things in the british way all the time and manoeuvre is just. a bad way to spell a word. also i switch up my s's and z's ALL the goddamn time for zailor reasons. dont get me wrong i am so proud of this fic as its the longest and i think best developed thing ive ever written, but we've hit what i like to call 'supernova time' where writing is a little bit like getting hit by a train over and over and its an absolute slog and i just want to get it done so i can get validation from my peers. i have two beta readers(alpha readers? cowriters?) who i adore so much but they can only do so much before i have to get the stupid fic done myself and i will, someday, and blow everyone in the aubreyad fandom away and probably like four hermitcraft fans who have no idea what's going on. this fic has been such a labor of love because i know its not gonna get numbers and i know its not going to be comprehensible to anyone who doesnt have extensive knowledge of sunless sea lore but im really proud of what i have made, what lore i have extrapolated into absolute nonsense, and the characters ive written and traumatized. did i say traumatized i meant developed. i can never tell when i should expand a certain part or shrink it, specifically like 'jane goes to the store and comes home, where the plot was waiting for her' versus 'jane put on her red shoes to go to the store to buy milk and eggs and--' etc etc etc to the point where she DOES get home and the plot's still there but its taken a significantly longer time to get there but we know so much more about jane now. i started writing this fic in january and its longer than the great gatsby and by god someday its gonna be out in the world but its gonna be a while before then.

its 1am and im sick as hell rant over mic dropped ty for the ask <3

[mrstsung]

I shall ignore canon and make it my own! Shang tsung is my husband. And my hcs of him are canon now. So shang tsung can be as soft as he wants to be >:p. Its my city now.

Shang tsung: that's the spirit honey. I change the rules all the time!

Fr tho i just kinda hate when people be saying. "Oh that character wouldn't love you" or "well he's actually a evil guy so he wouldn't actually be with someone like you" screw you. He actually does.

And i hate when people be writing x readers who basically say fuck you to the softer or domestic type readers out here like myself. Like sure strong,powerful,god/dess or magical readers are nice. But like what if i dont what any of that crap? I can't relate to that at all. Even in the best case scenario type of writing. It feels like someones oc and not an x reader.

But i feel bad for people who do like villains in mk and get little to nothing in kontent.

Hell most of the shit i see is for very very very specific characters. And they are all good guys.

-_-* >:(

Like any kontent i see of shang tsung it's become more of peoples ocs and not x readers for everyone to enjoy. Or it completely ignores us more well softer readers or readers that dont want anything grand but a nice domestic life or something as a break away from the normal bullshit and violence of mk. (Which is awesome none the less but still this should be a small break from the normal narrative which is fighting/action)

Like i feel like such a small minority when it comes to wanting more softer and domestic shang. (Like he's still a sneky bastard and does questionable things. As thats just shang tsung. But i mean while he's doing his scheming things he's also loving on his honey. Like bro)

But also i dont care for hcs that truly wouldn't do anything for the character. I feel that sexuality,gender,etc hcs should stay personal. And not be used in fics of any kind. Because thats also very personal to me in general. Im loud n proud myself but i dont like placing them on established characters. Only on my ocs or original works. Because i feel its performative and not actually helping the lgbt community. Even as someone who is queer n fluid af myself. I gotta keep in mind of my own biases and or privilege too. Im not saying others can't write these. Im just saying what i like n dont like writing and why. And why i wont write any hcs that have anything to do with specific and personal things such as gender,sexuality,and identity. Because thats a personal thing for me. And i dont feel comfy placing that because ive done that. And people get pissy with my opinions when they asked me for my hcs. Same with spiritual beliefs and political beliefs and views. Thats personal and i dont use them in writing for x readers or hcs. Only personal fics i will never ever share. Like y'all do what you want. But if you ask me for hcs that involves my hcs of things of that kind. I wont add them. I will however do hcs of them helping you discover yourself and things of that nature. Ex. Like x reader where reader comes out to a mk character. Or hcs of character with a genderfluid or any kind of queer reader. Thats fine. But as for hcs for character specifically? No. I dont write those.

Anyways. Enough rambles.

More kontent soon.

[a-slut-for-smut]

One Big Slutty Fuckoff List of Gloriously Smutty Alutegra fanfics :D

Greetings, fellow Alutegra sluts out there! I am but a humble whore for Alutegra for well over a decade, but finally decided it was high time to curate some of the finest, most exquisite smut of our OG girl boss/malewife ship. What spurred this on, you ask? Welp, I am guilty of sluttily luring in some of my moots aboard this ship and been promising to deliver this for AGES, so here we are years later (sorry i operate on grandma speeds!!!)

A couple things to know regarding this rec list (which may be particularly helpful for curious newcomers, horny vets feel free to scroll on down):

1.) As the title suggests, this is a smutravaganza so mostly is rated E, some M. Sorry folks, im sure there is a ton of amazing non-explicit fics but this is all i read! Also, given the very nature of the series (iirc it originally has hentai roots) it doesnt shy away from sexually kinky themes. Honestly name a kink and its probably not only been explored but likely grounded as far as canon goes. What do i mean by this? I'm only going to name a few but if any of the following get your juices flowin then Alutegra is the ship for you:

Dom/Sub BDSM (emphasis on consent)/Power play vibes- Integra is master, Alucard is her servant. As my boy Oscar Wilde said “Everything in the world is about sex — except sex. Sex is about power.” Honest to God, I don't know any ship that embodies this quote any better.

Bondage- Alucard is first discovered by Integra in a strait jacket/chains etc, and if memory serves me correctly makes several appearances throughout the series

Genderbending/fluidity- well im not sure this is the right term, but in canon Alucard can shapeshift/says he doesn't identify with a specific form/body (whether this applies to gender is up to interpretation i guess?). His "Girlycard" form is generally seen as his female form in the fandom.

Monster porn- Well, Alucard is a vampire and can shapeshift. Including a wolf/dog beast. Sky's the limit folks

Tentacle/cosmic horror porn- Alucard can conjure these shadowy tentacle thingys and a million extra eyes which serves as some sort of relevant symbolism that ive completely forgotten. Shit's hot tho (i got a cosmic horror kink shutup)

Non-penetrative sex & forbidden/taboo vibes- in canon, its established that only virgins can be turned into true vampires, everyone else turns into inhuman mindless ghouls. That said, the authors who write within the bounds of canon find very, VERY creative loopholes. Also the sheer level of pining (for penetration especially) might drive you insane no joke (proof: me). Mad respect to these authors- trust me this is sayin a lot coming from someone who actively prefers full-on penetration smut XD

2.) I am by no means a resource for canon- I watched both series YEARS ago, so my memory of the plot is shaky at best. What truly gripped me about this series is the Alutegra relationship, the true struggle in how to define their bond (or if it even can be, kudos to the fic authors that try). They are both utterly compelling characters in their own right within canon (truthfully I crush harder on Integra than Alucard) and i think the fandom absolutely recognizes that. Much of the gravitas of their bond is tied to canon, so most fics seem to understand/reflect this. No warm fuzzy coffee shop/high school AUs here folks, prepare yourselves for a truly smutty angst fest.

OK enough of that, to the smut! I'm really just commenting on the porn vs the plot so no summaries here. Oh and if any of you know the tumblr URLs of any of these authors lmk so i can tag them. Also im sure ive missed some gems, feel free to share and i'll look to add later

Welp, im going to hell and im taking you all with me- get sinning and enjoy the feast you horny hoes

One-shot porn

What It Wants and Where It Goes - by @crystallinee-waters

Femdom but goddamn its written in a way that made me ache. Alucard's sheer level of contrition, desperation for forgiveness goes beyond your standard simp energy. Top tier, i fucking LOVE how their relationship is depicted. and fun fact, i may have helped the author brainstorm some of the smuttier details <3<3

Mine - by @crystallinee-waters

Goddess at femdom and pining, but holy hell the way how explicit sexual content is approached is just *chefs kiss* I needn't remind you folks- consent is sexy as fuck and this authors fics are proof of that *sidenote - im keeping this list to smut but do yourself a favor and read ALL these authors fics, im a whore for her interpretation of their relationship

In This Darkness, I Have You by @goblins-riddles-or-frocks

What is the point of a vampire/human porn-rec list if you don't include menstrual cunnilingus smut? Also feels. Lots of feels.

Girls & Wolves by Calesvol

mmm hate-sex at its finest folks. Gotta fuck em into obedience yallwhatimsayin??

Homeostasis by Calesvol

A semi-sequel to Girls & Wolves. Very kinky smut but laced with hurt/comfort.

Kingdom of Heaven by Iggy_Lovechild

more hate-sex basically, yay. Also has a shit-ton of smutty one-shots, far too many to list- enjoy

A Queen's Throne by Anilucard

a smutty ode to Alucard's wicked, wicked tongue :D

With the Thorns Underneath by wllw

Holy femdom batman!

Loopholes by @and-i-write-sins

eyyy remember when i mentioned creative loopholes? LOL

you'd make a dead man come by valenstyne

LORD HAVE MERCY! i'll let the fic summary speak for itself: There’s more than one way to stake a vampire. Metaphorically speaking.

Pain by hypnonaut

lol this one just gets progressively kinky as it goes, but Alucard's adoration of Integra is both sweet & sexy

Tentacles of the Night by LaviniaLavender

eyyy remember when i mentioned tentacle porn? LOL

Simple Motions by @ironcladvalkyr

eyyy remember when i mentioned genderbending? but to expand on this this is probably one of the hottest things ive ever read and top tier aftercare/pillow talk

To be watched, in such silence by @ironcladvalkyr

short but smutty, the way Alucard goes on about how Integra turns him on is yums

darling, I wish you were red by @lunarcrystal

yay for cunnilingus and pining!

These fics from Cardinal_Daughter - you have to be logged in to see

Clingy - Timeline of their relationship via Integra POV.

Adore - post-canon angsty smut

Remembered - no smut but this was so achingly angsty i had to shout out

Multi chapter porn

And Though You Turn From Me - by @when-rivers-run-red

THE PINING, THE NOTICE ME SENPAI FEELS, THE TENTACLE PORN AUGHHHHHHHHH this one is a recent favorite folks, do not skip!!!

Eternal Sin by @therustycage

This post-canon multi-fic is one of my favs. Love the Alutegra interactions on how to tackle the obstacles presented in the finale, the pining, and the plot is definitely something to chew on. Slow-burn but tis a good burn

Embracing Sin by @therustycage

Sequel to Eternal Sin. Basically fluffy-porn and time travel. Delicious.

Satis by @lesmismignon

A heavy weight champ of Alutegra post-canon fics. Integra's POV on how she wrestles her feelings for Alucard- just INJECT that shit straight into my veins MMMM! Alucard's pining is top notch/the slow burn makes the smutty bits that much more exquisite. Honestly just read all her fics (one-shots) they're great

The Return by ButifulDeath

Post-canon porn with interesting plot, and fuckin hell dat smut is just *chefs kiss*

Samhain by ButifulDeath

fluffy porn one-shot sequel to The Return and it is hothothot

Like Real People Do by @my-mild-ginger

ahhh so i actually havent read this one yet as its a chonky 40 chapters (currently), seems much more fluff vs smut for those that prefer that balance

[meruz]

once again i am answering asks in a big compilation post. included is... gotham, patrick stump, tips about drawing backgrounds, tips about drawing in general, links to my faq, and infinity train

like.... the tv series? No... I’ve drawn dc comics fanart before, though. But it’s been years since I’ve been really into it. I like jumped ship like 10 years ago when the New 52 happened LOL.

AFJHDSLKGH I’m sorry I (probably) won’t do it again??

Actually full disclosure I have a truly cringe amount of p stump drawings/photo studies in my sketchbook right now LOL. He’s just fun to draw... hats, glasses, guitar, a good shape... but I don’t think I’ll rly post those until I can hide them in another big sketchbook pdf.. probably Jan 2022. Stay tuned........ (ominous) 

(ominous preview)

These are all sort of related to backgrounds/painting so I grouped them together even though they’re pretty much entirely separate questions.... ANYWAYS

a) How is it working as a BG artist? Is it hard? What show are you drawing for?

I think you’re the first person to ever ask me about my job! Being a background artist is great. It’s definitely labor intensive but I think that could describe pretty much any art job (If something were rote or easy to automate, you wouldn’t hire an artist to do it) and I hesitate to say whether its harder or easier than any other role in the animation pipeline. Plus, so much of what truly makes a job difficult varies from one production to the next, schedule, working environment, co-workers etc. But I will say that I think while BGs are generally a lot of work on the upfront, I think they’re subject to less scrutiny/revisions than something like character/props/effects design and you don’t have to pitch them to a room like boards. So I guess it’s good if you don’t like to talk to people? LOL

A lot of my previous projects + the show I’ve worked on the longest aren’t public yet so I can’t talk about em (but I assure you if/when the news does break I won’t shut up about it). But I’m currently working on Archer Season 12 LOL. I’m like 90% sure I’m allowed to say that.

b) ~~~THANK YOU!! ~~~

c) What exactly do you like to draw most [in a background]?

@kaitomiury​ Lots of stuff! I really like to draw clutter! Because it’s a great opportunity for environmental storytelling and also you can be kind of messy with it because the sheer mass will supersede any details LOL. 

I like to draw clouds... I like to draw grass but not trees lol,,, I like to draw anything that sells perspective really easily like tiled floors and ceilings, shelves, lamp posts on a street etc.

d) Do you have any tips on how to paint (observational)?

god there’s so much to say. painting is really a whole ass discipline like someone can paint their whole life and still discover new things about it. I guess if you’re really just starting out my best advice is that habit is more important than product. especially with traditional plein air painting, I find that the procedure of going outside and setting up your paints is almost harder than the actual painting. There’s a lot of artists who say “I want to do plein air sometime!!” and then never actually get around to doing it. A lot of people just end up working from google streetview or photos on their computer.

But going outside to paint is a really good challenge because it forces you to make and commit to lighting and composition decisions really quickly. And to work through your mistakes instead of against them via undo button.

My last tip is to check out James Gurney’s youtube channel because hes probably the best and most consistent resource on observational painting out there rn. There’s lots other artists doing the same thing (off the top of my head I know a lot of the Warrior Painters group has people regularly posting plein air stuff and lightbox expo had a Jesse Schmidt lecture abt it last year) but Gurney’s probably the most prolific poster and one of the best at explaining the more technical stuff - his books are great too.

e) Do you have tips for drawing cleanly on heavypaint?

@marigoldfool​ UMM LOL I LIKE ONLY USE THE FILL TOOL so maybe use the fill tool? Fill and rectangle are good for edge control as opposed to the rest of the heavy paint tools which can get sort of muddles. And also I use a stylus so maybe if you’re using your finger, find a stylus that works with your device instead. That’s all I’ve got, frankly I don’t think my drawings are particularly clean lol.

f) Tips on improving backgrounds/scenes making them more dynamic practicing etc?

Ive given some tips about backgrounds/scenes before so I’m not gonna re-tread those but here’s another thing that might be helpful...

I think a good way to approach backgrounds is to think of the specific story or even mood you want to convey with the background first. Thinking “I just need to put something behind this character” is going to lead you to drawing like... a green screen tourist photo backdrop. But if you think “I need this bg to make the characters feel small” or “I need this bg to make the world feel colorful” then it gives you requirements and cues to work off of.

If I know a character needs to feel overwhelmed and small, then I know I need to create environment elements that will cage them in and corner them. If a character needs to feel triumphant/on top of the world then I know I need to let the environment open up around them. etc. If I know my focal point/ where I want to draw attention, I can build the background around that.

Also, backgrounds like figure compositions will have focal points of their own and you can draw attention to it/ the relationship the characters have with the bg element via scale or directionality or color, any number of cues. I think of it almost as a second/third character in a scene.

Not every composition is gonna have something so obvious like this but it helps me to think about these because then the characters feel connected and integrated with the environment.

Some more general art questions

a) Do you have any process/tips to start drawing character/bodies/heads?

I tried to kind of draw something to answer this but honestly this is difficult for me to answer because I don’t think I’m that great at drawing characters LOL. Ok, I think I have two tips.

1) flip your canvas often. A lot about what makes human bodies look correct and believable is symmetry and balance. Even if someone has asymmetrical features, the body will often pull and push in a way to counterbalance it. we often have inherent biases to one side or another like dominant hands dominant eyes etc. you know how right-handed artists will often favor drawing characters facing 45 degrees facing (the artist’s) left? that’s part of it. so viewing your drawing flipped even just to evaluate it helps compensate for that bias and makes you more aware of balance.

2) draw the whole figure often. I feel like a lot of beginner artists (myself included for a long time) defer to just drawing headshots or busts because it’s easier, you dont have to think about posing limbs etc. But drawing a full body allows you to better gauge proportion, perspective, body language, everything that makes a character look believable and grounded.

Like if you (me) have that issue where you draw the head too big and then have to resize it to fit the proportions of the rest of the body, it’s probably because you (I) drew the head first and are treating the body as an afterthought/attachment. Sketching out the whole figure first or even just quick drawing guides for it will help you think of it more holistically. I learned this figure drawing in charcoal at art school LOL.

oh. third mini tip - try to draw people from life often! its the best study. if you can get into a figure drawing/nude drawing class EVEN BETTER and if you have a local college/art space/museum that hosts those for free TREASURE IT AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT, that’s a huge boon that a lot of artists (me again) wish they had. though if youre not so lucky and youre sitting in a park trying to creeper draw people and they keep moving.. don’t let that stop you! that’s good practice because it’s forcing you to work fast to get the important stuff down LOL. its a challenge!

b) I’ve been pretty out of energy and have had no inspiration to draw but I have the desire to. Any advice?

Dude, take a walk or something.... Or a nap? Low energy is going to effect everything else so you gotta hit that problem at its source.

If you’re looking for inspiration though, I’d recommend stuff like watching a movie, reading a book, playing video games etc. Fill up your idea bank with content and then give yourself time/space to gestate it into new concepts. Sometimes looking at other art works but sometimes it can work against you because it’s too close. 

Also something that helps me is remembering that art doesn’t always have to be groundbreaking... like it’s okay to make something shitty and stupid that you don’t post online and only show to your friend. That’s all part of the process imo. If you want to hit a home run you gotta warm up first, right? Sports.

I should probably compile everytime i give tips on stuff like this but that’s getting dangerously close to being a social media artist who makes stupid boiled down art tutorials for clout which is the last thing i want to be... the thing I want to stress is that art is a whole visual language and there are widely agreed upon rules and customs but they exist in large part to be broken. Like there's an infinite number of ways to reach an infinite number of solutions and that’s actually what makes it really cool and personal for both the artist and the viewer. So when you make work you like or you find someone else’s work you like, take a step back and ask yourself what about it speaks for you, what about it works for you, what makes it effective, how to recreate that effect and how to break that effect completely, etc. And have a good time with it or else what’s the point.

for the first 2, I direct you to my FAQ

For the last one, I don’t actually believe I’ve ever addressed artwork as insp for stories/rp but I’ll say here and now yeah go ahead! As long as you’re not making profit or taking credit for my work then I’m normally ok with it. Especially anything thats private and purely recreational, that’s generally 100% green light go. I only ask that if you post it anywhere public that you please credit me.

(and I reserve the right to ask you to take it down if I see it and don’t approve of it’s use but I think that case is pretty rare.)

a) @lemuelzero101 Thank you!!! I haven’t played Life is Strange but actually  that series’ vis dev artist Edouard Caplain is one of my bigger art inspirations lately so that’s a really high compliment lol. And yeah I hope we get 5-8 too...!

b) Thank you for sticking around! I’ve been thinking about Digimon and Infinity Train in tandem lately, actually. They’re a little similar? Enter a dangerous alternate world and have wacky adventures with monsters/inanimate objects that have weird powers... there’s like weird engineers and mechanisms behind the scenes... also frontier literally starts with them getting on a train. Anyways if anyone else followed me for digimon... maybe you’d like Infinity Train? LOL

c) @king-wens-king I’M GLAD MY ART JUST HAS PINOY VIBES LOL I hope you are having a good day too :^)

a, b, c, d) yessss my Watch Infinity Train agenda is working....

e) aw thank you!! i think you should watch infinity train :)