#eugh. dont like that do Not like that. bad. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ajdrawshq · 2 years

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Okay actually a question real quick like what did you think of the whole Stranded Pair fragment thing? I think. I think that when you saw that was during the parts where the live blogging became utterly incoherent right it'd. track. because well damn that whole thing is awful

OH YEAH.. thats the one with Sigma n Diana isnt it. thats the part that i got to when my phone was dead so i didnt have a way to write down my thoughts while things. happened. but yeah that was a fucking mess sjxvkshxn the one thing i can 100% remember from in the moment was like. for a good minute or so i could only think of this

cuz genuinely. what on earth (derogatory). what in the goddamn was that. theres like quite a few scenes or entire parts of the game that made me Uncomfortable and that one is near the top of the list for so many reasons i dont even know where to start. like. ur right the whole thing Was absolutely awful. i almost wanted to rewatch it to at least refresh my mind on the details but i also would rather not relive that

ok yea im trying to come up w some actual Thoughts abt it that arent just vaguely bashing its head in but just. ew. yikes. yknow. to be fair my brain was blank the entire time minus that image specifically so its not like the liveblog missed out on much tbh but. yeah !

#ztd #ive been sitting on this for a bit trying to come up w something coherent and thoughtful but thats uh. probably not happening soon #i keep trying to single out a particular event but its really just. all of them. there was one (1) sort of almost nice moment and then it #all went to shit #i remember u warning me as i was nearing this before my phone died and thinking. boy u were not kidding #if u have any like. actual thpughts to put here please feel free to do so bc i cant gather anything dksvkdbs #other than like. @ Phi damn bitch u lived like this ????????#i knew from the moment i saw Phi had reddish eyebrows that That was the connection more or less but #u could not have paid me to guess that this was how that went down #also its funny how Sigma has like. what 4 kids technically?? and yet hes the worlds least dad ever. go off king give us nothing #also Why was the leadup to Sigma n Diana doing all that..... Like That #like to be fair theres a decent amount of reasons to. in this situation. number one being its boring here so why not i guess #but no they just. right after That conversation???????? bad vibes bad vibes #eugh. dont like that do Not like that. bad.#ty for the ask tho!!!!! :3 #ask #mortellanarts

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snow-and-saltea · 3 months

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yesterday i spent 45 minutes of my life watching a video essay criticising the use of cheap shock values and crossing of taboos for a video game and i went from "he has a point even if he's explaining it in a really inflammatory way" to "oh umm... i can see how he thinks that way even if i don't agree" to "oh this guy's just straight up using people on tumblr as material for an audience to get mad at like other outdated people on the internet. nvm he's just an asshole"

#yuu rambles #it was about the coffin of andey and leyley btw - i agreed w him on the first half of the video about how it felt rather noncommittal to it #concepts and themes but i recognise its not really *trying* to be serious which means its not a reasonable #framework to judge the intention and execution of its work - an apple pie does use butter in it but just bc it does #doesnt mean you get to compare it to steak; a dish that also uses butter. this is intuitively easy to understand for me #but nonetheless it was like 3 am i had stuff to do so i just put it on my background to listen #he makes a diss at “people on tumblr” early on that i just raised my eyebrow at but shrugged it off bc its such an old joke #its lost its zinger; and im p sure its just confirmation bias from going into the tags of the thing you dont like lol if you use tumblr #normally you wouldn't come across things you dont like bc you'd have blocked them. But Anyways #then at the end he got sooo self righteous about how people on tumblr are insane and weird and showed screencaps about how twisted everyone #who likes the game are. there were some screenshots of people's post that were like “incest is bad and shouldn't be explored in media.#paragraph break‚ me who is an incest survivor and finds it helpful for working through my trauma: lol”#those types of post. but then lmfao he started going out of pocket and just mentioned the lists of other people he doesnt like which are #a screenie of a video essay about how kink is important at pride #and then some other stuff i dont remember anymore w the tumblr screenies #it was very mockingly written and said and at the end of it i felt sad i couldnt #block people on youtube lmao. like its not i dont want this guy to comment on my videos. i dont want to see his channel involuntarily #recommended to me ever again. just resorted to the most base sort of trolling behaviour he accused and judge other game devs for in his #video essay. good fucking god. the psychological projection is unreal #i dont have any strong feelings towards the game at the end of it even though i thought i would be like Eugh at first #but my bleh for any cheap gimmicks is overshadowed by my disdain for this guy's reliance on self righteous rhetoric #i discovered another new channel i really like tho after that vid!! bc i had to watch smth else to cleanse my palate lmao #they're jacob geller and freddydude! ive only seen one vid from freddydude about his essay on #detention‚ the horror game set in taiwan during the era of white terror under new cn leadership after ww2 #im personally quite jumpy so his humour and the way he edits his videos to make it silly even though its Scary #made me like it a lot!! im going through jacob geller's other vids but ive watched three specific types of terror #and the one about pinocchio which made me go :00 wow his scripts are super good!#again everything at your own discretion esp w the whole james somerton shit‚ but i enjoyed what I've seen so far #i just wanted to end this in a somewhat positive note JSHDKSJDJD the ramblings Continue...#theres a pedantic error in one of ky tags but im gonna update it when im on comp bc mobile sucks smh my head

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radlegowaffle · 17 days

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love bluh bluh bluh

#初音ミク #ラビットホール #rabbit hole #hatsune miku #vocaloid #illustration #artists on tumblr #dooblenauts #i liked how this looked better while i was working on it #now it looks. so bad #the handcuffs look stupid. the background is stupid. the shading and rendering is stupid #why am i so afraid of trying new things my rendering now sucks idk what im doing its so unpleasing to look at #eugh. eugh #trying to get my shit together by trying to get a better sleep schedule. as a first step #cause that shits been fucked for ages #i slept at midnight and woke up at 6am and stayed up ALL day. i was SO proud of myself #then when i went to sleep at 8 or 9 last night i stupidly took a lil bit of a gummy to pass me out easier #it was apparently too much and i woke up at midnight freaking out #now im pissed off at myself for waking up at 10am cause of a fuck up i should have avoided but i wanted to go to sleep quicker #why do i suck. why do i suck!!!!!!!!!!!#anyway gonna burn myself out on drawing cause im useless and cant do anything else otherwise #hoping someone will be like 'hey nice art! heres some money draw me a thing'#but thats probably not gonna happen in a VERY long time #so im probably just gonna be useless for the rest of my life #dont take this as me trying to gain pity or anything im going through a mood and just really pissed off at myself 😭

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narutomaki · 1 month

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I hate that I hate doing things in my own dude but it's so fucking boring !!!

#i dont go out to eat and i dont go to the movie theater so like the two biggest Default Hang activities are completely non-options for me #i dont like seeing movies in theatre 1) the local one sucks and 2) i cant sit still for over a half hour in a chair that makes me want to #become an arsonist.#ive been to Fancy Good Fun movie theatres and seen Incredible Higjly Rated films and still been like #20 mins in. is it going to be over soon? can i leave? please?#i like going to the library and shopping and walking down by the river and in the woods #but i also Dont Like The Beach because sand makes me want to become a fucking terrorist and the water safety index thing #sent me on a spiral sooo bad ♡ also im too body conscious to enjoy myself #the public pools okay excepts its expensive and over crowded 100% of the time #rock beachs are good i like swimming i just eugh #i also. dont like going to the gyms indoor pool.#its so fucking echoy in there i get a migraine thinking about it #i do like their sauna tho but. again. priced out of that experience! wahoo! also the stairs there are designed to torture me #i like eating outside i like picnics in theory i just cant get comfortable sitting in like 98% of places for more than like 30 mins.#at some point some part of my body is going to start hurting so bad i want to throw up.#i like playing video games and board games but i dont have any consoles or board games so like.#man. idk!#i hate doing things alone bcus i Was Alone for 3 years with my only social contact being my abusive family #i would speak to them maybe 3 times a month and get out of the house maybe 2 times and #idk! idk its just like! okay! im done being socialy isolated!!!#>every activity that you can do to hang out with people is unappealing to me or causes me physical damage #😭 okay nvm!!!

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skunkes · 10 months

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in a weird position where i threaten to quit art to myself every other week, but I could never do that. I'd always come back to it.

There's nothing else on this earth I'm capable of doing, why not continue it even if its bad. But it also feels weird, bc I'm doing it bc my body seems to need to, while knowing that I'll never be happy with it and that I'll never really learn what I need to learn to be happy with it. Knowing that I have no way to Learn bc its not something that can actually be learned. Im just missing what everyone else seems to have

#talkys #rollercoaster of emotions in todays posts sorry #idk. like. we've already established doing studies kinda makes my work stiffer #i only learn from copying bc i have no insps. and nobodys making the art i wanna make #but like. i dont even know what i want my art to look like which makes it harder #i draw and im like eugh these proportions are TOO realistic but these are TOO cartoony #/brain telling me the more cartoony ones are incorrect. and finally me not being able to tell what even looks good #bc it all looks bad. idk why. bc i cant find that blend. it just all looks bad.#it looks like misinformed art. like That Infamous Artist.#idk what i want it to look like all i know is it looks bad #how do you even fix that. what studies could i possibly do #especially when i dont even have a reason to draw lol....idk. idk. sucks.#long post

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termagax · 2 months

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like i think to fish theyre just both people who shouldve died a long time ago and now they arent allowed to. because they need each other. and they both crave that and resent it.

#they WANT to be so important to him that he would fall apart without then AND they resent that they cant fall apart without hurting him #they were having a perfectly decent apathetic slide into eternal misery and then he had to go and ruin it with love. whatever.#like they want to be this essential part of his life because they loooove having that power over him they really really do #and theyre mean about it too. but like. they dont like that it goes both ways #they dont like being looked after or cared about because they get too used to it and they feel themselves falling in love w him again and #they run away. and eventually they come back or he comes back to them. and they tell themselves its just transactional like #they have something he needs and he has something they want #animal sir chloe style #but just like that its like. its NOT that. they need him so fucking bad and they feel better when hes around even when they hate his ass #and espeically after they start 'working' for jr with him its like. they really really love him so bad and they hate it.#these stupid assholes making them feel alive again. making them feel FEEELINGS. liek a PERSON. eugh #and i think they hate how scared they get when something happens to roadhog. theyre supposed to know better than that basically #they feel like needing him is vulnerable because it opens the door for him to hurt them again which is why they so enjoy being the one in #control + being the one who leaves #and the one who lashes out and ect ect. but they cant help themself and they hate hirself for it. so like. well the only solution is that #you shouldve killed yourself two decades ago so i couldve wasted away mad at you like i was supposed to and wed be done with it.#fishs got a case of wanting to die in such a way where they wont take any active steps to get there #but they resent being alive and they resent every minute of pain they endure by being alive. hence the very sex booze violence lifestyle #but the frustrating thing about him is that they. most of the time. like being alive with him. so they have to endure more #more pain and heartache and frustration. and they dont want to but they cant do anything else. they cant even leave again at this point #anyways. my fishy #🐟#they have every disease

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catboyfurina · 5 months

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this is tumblr so the answer is absolutely yes but i have to phrase it this way because i am a tumblrina.

do u ever think about how so many people would be perfectly satisfied working manual labor jobs if it werent for the exploitation of it... like if the jobs that Need Doing hired More people for Shorter shifts and paid them a Comfortable wage there would be so many people that would be into that. like SO many people in my experience talk about how nauseating the idea of an office job in a cubicle is and yet ! for some reason! the jobs that pay money are all that sort....

#beeep #like i for example would probably not do the manual labor job it just. does not work well with me. but i also dont think #cubicle is the worst thing? except #that i do think marketing is the worst thing and id prefer some sound proofing so like. definitely not my ideal. but i know so many #ppl are like doing the same thing every day eugh eurk yuck #and it just seems like. if working with your hands didnt mean straining your body to injury for pennies then probably more ppl would want t #and my brief stint at a factory taught me im not cut out for the standing lifestyle but if you just let people have podcasts and dont abuse #them its not so bad.... like so many Terrible Jobs mostly seem like the bad isnt Inherent #like wouldnt it be nice if jobs were focused on the goal of what is needed rather than maximizing profits by destroying people #wouldnt that be nice #that would be nice #this isnt even communist cus like. im still envisioning money being involved....but like lbr the republicans would call me a communist #for being like wouldnt it be cool if we lost some profit to improve peoples happiness #like maybe do like 5% less time efficient but 50% more happy. this seems worth it.

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spaghetticat3899 · 7 months

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I’m gonna go back in time and kill my parents for procreating and making me, and giving me the AuDHD trait of hearing every tiny noise and hating it

#spaghetti speaks #I can’t ever have a break when I’m on break because people CLEAR THEIR THROAT EVERY 30 SECONDS #I want to claw at my ears I H A T E #I hate all noises having to do with the respiratory and digestive systems #I can hear it all- I cannot escape all the mouth and organ noises- AAAAAAAAAA #“You’re being dramatic calm your tits”#I feel every noise I hear in my ears #i hate it so much #its nice with music because it’s like I can feel the instruments in a song #but everything else it’s EUGH #I don’t want to hear your lip-smacking throat clearing sniffles bad singing/humming #I DONT WANT TO HEAR YOUR UNFUNNY TIKTOKS EITHER #i’m ranting #I’m just annoyed I can never enjoy my breaks because of my stupid sensitive ears

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lesbianaelwen · 7 months

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i Unfortunately haven't been able to be on here bc i've been so fucking busy but i Have been keeping up with d20 stuff and just. burrow's end is so good for me specifically

#as a hardcore dystopian lover (and i mean yes thg but also like speculative fiction like parable of the sower)#this is so good for me and i cant wait to see how these stoats are animal farm-ing this #i remember there was a video d20 put out before it premiered where aabria said this is basically her graduate thesis i believe?#i cant find the video now but i heard that and i just Know this is going to be great #ill try to find it again if i can when i have time but YESS lets get into the epistemological reasoning these stoats have made to justify i #plus whatevers going on w radiation?? fun times #i do heavily appreciate aabria's ability to do body horror w/o being ableist too!! you dont have to be all #“oooh this thing that Can Happen is horrifying oooh!” NO. MAKE THAT ELK SPIKY #decomposition is Right there. its not a hard bar but for some reason so many ppl become pole vaulters instead of just walking below #does that metaphor make sense? ive been writing so much you guys :( my brain is a little bit melted #this is a direct @ at a certain book btw that is talked about as 'such good body horror and sooo scary." guys it was so bad.#like heavily ableist but also just not written well. eugh :|#anyways. fun times and Heavily looking forward to the next episode. i have to go write more now ;-;#like this is from something i started last night:#''Mrs. Hutchinson's privilege blinds her to the institutional violence and dehumanization in ''The Lottery''#and thus is exploited herself for a gruesome generational ritual.''#i dont love the word exploited and ill probably change it but like. thats the level we're working at. yippee #okokok bye now

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sol1loqu1st · 8 months

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idk if it's dysphoria or just regular ol insecurity or if maybe i just have a more Autistic Face/Body Language than i realized but when i see pictures of myself smiling there's like a 90% chance i look at them and kind of flinch. i've never seen a picture of someone else smiling and thought they looked bad but i feel like i look like a huge dork in pictures when i'm just candidly happy and it makes me really sad that other people just sort of effortlessly look good in photos and no matter what i do i look like the Bullied Social Reject Who Gets Asked To Prom By A Popular Kid Who Wants To Come Off As Kind And Empathetic

#eugh sorry this is such a shallow insecurity #literally one of my biggest sources of dysphoria is just. My Lips. as a kid i would constantly get asked if i was wearing lipstick #and that question lessened overtime because it's like. expected that someone who's usually read as a woman would be wearing lipstick #i used to literally practice holding my face/doing expressions in the mirror in a way that would minimize how much my lips stood out lmao #it's not even a feminine trait!!!! like it's not my fault western beauty standards expect men to have thin colorless lips #almost all the (cis) men on my mom's side of the family have Big Red Feminine Lips and it's. like. fine. lips aren't fucking gendered #but dysphoria knows know logic and that compounded with the fact that my expressions genuinely tend to be a little wonky #just. makes me feel Really Bad about my face in pictures #idk i just Hate My Smile and i feel like it makes me look ugly and like. i'm not gonna go get plastic surgery about it or whatever because #for me at least that feels really extreme and like an insecurity rabbit hole i dont want to go down #but also like. i just hate that i look shitty in almost every picture #and the only good pictures of me are carefully posed to look Pensive And Vaguely Sorrowful(tm)

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vzajemnik · 9 months

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feeling like shit like a loser like everything ive done this past year didnt matter

#🗞️#had a dream a guy from my past (that bitch as i call him on here) messaged me and i just let him........#i replied INSTANTLY and just let him act like nothing bad happened between us #and it fucking sucks bc i know id do sth like that irl but i was SURE id be more. idk. snarky towards him. not reply instantly. or whatever #the convo was also sooooo eerily similiar to how we used to text and god i hate it so much #at least one of us had to be drunk to text the other person and he was drunk out of his mind texting me and oh my fucking godddddd #maybe im so pissed at myself bc idk i feel like i should have a reaction of. ew i dont even wanna think about him ever again #thank god we havent seen each other in well over a year #thank god we havent talked tor even more than that #but no im just lying there feeling like shit bc a part of me knows if hed message me irl i would jumo to reply instantly etc etc #WHAT even. god. eugh

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evandorepart2 · 1 year

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ok anyway im leaving in. the day after tomorrow at like 2am so im just saying its tomorrow cause im literally just gonna stay up till then theres no point in sleeping. BUT two things. one i need to finish packing. my clothes are dry so i just have to bring them upstairs and pack. sort of stressed out bc like. i like my outfit i dont want to change it but everyones telling me its too hot for a leather jacket like i know!!!! but its my jacket :(

anyway i just have to do that so ill do it now and then…on top of that i wanted to get the draft for my ghost story done but i havent been working on it at all >_< ive just been reading comics the past couple days. so tomorrow. for sure. i will definitely work in getting the draft done totally.

but ugh im kind of nervous i havent seen these people in so long and im not great socially. also i dont go on trips in general so like. i hope i have energy for a full month yknow. i have a tendency of isolating myself when im stressed out but i dont have any space to do that…not that i should but whatever you know

#LIKE. im just eugh like im Bad at small talk. im better at dispensing information and leaving it that #or listening. ive been practicing listening a lot more so i dont overtalk and everyone gets a turn #OH RIGHT!!!! i hope. cause i have 4 cousins. two are toddler age #one is a little younger than me so like 13 but hes a boy idk how he is cause he might be annoying no offense <3 #and then an older girl whos around my brothers age so a few years older. and we never rlly talked cause it was always my brorher and her #last i saw them i was like. god idk it couldnt have been too young cause i got black out drunk before i stayed with them #so. 11? 12? definitely younger than 13 i know for a fact #im bad with times tho #anyway its been a while and im a lot older now. so i hope shes there so we can talk and be friends idk #apparently my brother isnt close to her anymore? he called her a bitch last time we talked abt her so. hope i do see her #and my aunt! i always liked her a lot and my brothers prob gonna be busy with our uncle. ill be stuck with the younger kids but thats ok i #dont mind since im used to handling my sister. apparently theyve wanted to meet me for a long time so i am super excited #i dont think anyones gonna expect what i look like tho lol i dont think anyone could have guess me being punk #not even me like i distinctly remember in elementary my friend. we were talking about mcr and emo / punk stuff and he was like. you coukd #never be like that. ummmmm well guess what dickhead!!!! jokes were actyally still close lol #ANYWAY i am fucking excited and nervous and have to find a normal way to bring up 18th century fashion or perhaps history of contemporary #folk

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dilfian · 2 years

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4 hour work<3 just that easy<3 kiss my ass l*wes<3 lol

#xoxo #actually i'm missing a whole table i consolidated too. oops. blanked when i took pics.#but yeah i didnt see o until almost 2 1/2 hrs after i clocked in lol i was like??? o?? where have you been.#apparently md (who was prev dl i believe. or de? idk. former mst manager who is now an asm) had her helping with things.#he was trying to get the middle aisle display set up and she didnt know what to do. so i told her she could tell him i was there and could #help out. she told him and came back and said he was excited LOL i went oh good. glad someone still appreciates my work.#anyways i emptied 2 carts of shade perennials and redid all the shade perennial tables.#then i pulled camellias and star jasmine from the front and made 2 rose tables. they needed to be spaced out and we have enough.#thennnn went inside and work with md and also the new mst manager and we settled on how many palette stacks and what to put there etc etc #and then o and i filled it up with the palms and i refilled the 3 tier. cause i walked in yesterday going ???#said word for word in the gc 'what in the seven hells is that' sbdndnf they just filled it all wonky with whatever plants ya know. eugh.#and then o and i moved the palette shelf to the back after i had reorganized that too. yeah. it was a good shift.#all in 4 hrs. i just got home. going to eat food.#also o went to the store manager and told him they should keep me at the store lmao. so he's been told by a lot of ppl now.#also md apparently said i should apply for green team.#i really dont see how it would work esp at this store. or just the tasks in general. its at the very bottom of my job list.#but i feel bad leaving everybody. . .😔 anyways

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lesbiten · 13 days

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also can i ask. why was everyone *so* pissed at sam for killing lillith. like i get it, lillith dying was the final seal to let lucifer out. i get that. but would she not have just...killed herself? had ruby kill her? at least sam did it with good intentions

#noah fence but dean is more to blame for the apocalypse than sam #as much as i love like. fucked up and twisted sam and hes my favorite sam in the whole series #i dont appreciate that he gets the blame for soooo much that is at least partially if not like. mostly deans fault #just bc he has a bad track record #like dean maybe your brother wouldnt be desperately seeking attention and love from a literal demon if you treated him better #i struggle so hard to like dean because its so hard to watch this show not liking the main characters but sometimes its so...eugh #its just that sometimes he has interesting character moments and other times its like the writers were just like. lets make dean look like #complete asshole just for the sake of conflict when he has no reason to act like that #you can argue for years about which one of them is 'more like john' and they argue about it amongst themselves in the show #but the trick answer is that they both are. LMFAO. sam is just 'mean because he thinks its the right thing to do'#and dean is just 'mean because he needs to take it out on something and youre the sponge in front of him'#both are frustrating to watch at times #simon says

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sillycyan · 4 months

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Is it just me or music where you can even slightly hear it be auto-tuned is just so bad..

#yall be eating it up somehow but like eugh..#AND THE PERSON WILL BE REALLY GOOD AT SINGING WITHOUT IT BUT ITS SO EUGHH LIKE STOPPP #this lowkey is abt the new mean girls movie but also just any music #like you can hear how they tuned their voice and it ruins it so bad.. if you can’t sing DONT and if you can just do that no tuning l

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sleepyjim · 6 months

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first night without taking benadryl to sleep and Uh its bad again what the fuck man context and also giant rant in da tags

#basically for several weeks before leo benadryl era(tm) i could not sleep at all for many days at a time i was just Not Tired At All #and my sleep schedule was so fucked up and bad and terrible i would sleep for a whole day then go many days without sleeping over and over #And It was Bad so like last week i got sick of it and took like a billion shots of benadryl juice(tm) and Slept and it waswonderful #so ive been doing that every night since then and ive gone to sleep at 10 and woken up at 8 every day and world was so beautiful forever #cept like four days into leo benadryl era i figured i had gotten into a routine so i Did Not take anything that night and #didn't feel tired. At All . ruined everything for a whole day #so i continued #but now we're out of benadryl cause ive drank it all #and im not allowed to buy it myself cause its a drug #and i cant tell my mom cause she doesnt understand #and im like . Stuck Now lmao i really really dont want everything to suck again i was doing so well this past couple days #its 2 am an im not even sleepy and if i dont sleep tonight then i will during the day and then everything will get fucked up bad again #idk!!!!!!#i dont know what to do man #i think i either got like too uh relying on the benadryl maybe or perhaps theres Sonething Wrong With Me #while we were in the RV i was scared for like a day thatmy body just straight up forgor how to sleep #and idk if that's actually possible but . :/#i have to go to a thing with my mom tomorrow too so im sposed to get up along with everyone .at like 6 in the morning and so i have #like 3 or 4 hours to sleep and im so Eugh man cause thats like a third of the amount of time a sleep i need to function #i am suffering !!#i cant even sleep if i tried tho Fuck my baka life forever #anyways #text #jason rambles

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