#eustace the rat

[samtallchester]

(S)he's so unserious [silly] fr, how do i take them seriously?

[pariahsparadise]

ye of little faith | e. p.

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summary: eustace doesn't believe that edmund has a girlfriend.

wc: 800

pairings: edmund pevensie x fem!reader

warnings: VERY unedited. also it's 1am and i just wrote this in a burst of inspiration, so please don't expect it to be good.

a/n: i don't really know if this will make sense to anyone lol, i think i wrote it in a confusing way, but hopefully it's okay. it's mostly eustace's pov, i wanted to try something new. also, this exact scenario has been in my head for months now.

“There’s no way he has a girlfriend,” Eustace tells Lucy, barging into the room. She immediately knows who he’s talking about, able to hear Edmund on the phone downstairs, voice softer than it usually is, taking the tone he automatically opts for when he speaks to Y/N.

“Why?” Lucy asks, half-heartedly entertaining her annoying cousin while she thumbs through the pages of her book. Unfortunately for her, Eustace Scrubb brightens at the attention, straightening up and launching into a rather well-thought out spiel.

“First of all, it’s Edmund we’re talking about. He’s awkward, way too hostile and bad-tempered. Not to mention, he’s barely of average height, and his hair? Absolutely ridiculous.”

“Y/N likes it,” Lucy says mildly, earning a scoff from Eustace.

“Y/N.” he says with disbelieving scorn, “As if she actually exists. You expect me to believe that a woman as beautiful and intelligent as you lot claim she is would actually be interested in Edmund? And so interested that she calls and writes to him multiple times a week? Yeah, right. I bet that Ed’s hired an escort to help him forget about how lonely he actually is. Or he’s paying some poor girl to play the part of a caring partner.” Eustace has had many such theories, the more creative ones dealing with blackmail and holding family members hostage, but so far, monetary imbursements seem to be the most likely.

“Sure, Eustace,” Lucy mumbles, having checked out of the conversation a while ago. He shakes his head at her disinterest, convinced that he is right, and leaves the room, muttering to himself disbelievingly.

A few days later, a painting gushes out water and swallows them whole, so poor Eustace, although having taunted his cousins with his skepticisms about the magical land of Narnia and called them fools for believing in the same, is forced to confront that he was wrong. 

Eustace is soaking wet and miserable, still slightly panic infused. He can’t believe his eyes, convinced that he hallucinated the last fifteen minutes. Sitting on the ship, the Dawn Treader, he watches as his cousins are recognised as King and Queen. He’s related to royalty. 

With a humorous snort, he realises that this is more believable than Edmund Pevensie having a girlfriend.

Hell, even the talking rat next to him is more believable.

He goes to voice the same, but is distracted by a joyous whoop descending from the sky, followed by a splash in the ocean. Eustace is too busy trying to catch a glimpse of the figure underwater to notice the hopeful glances Edmund and Lucy exchange, the faint tremour in Edmund’s hands as he snatches a telescope from a passing crew member, getting a clearer view.

“It is her!” Ed cries, only barely held back from jumping overboard by Caspian, who laughs fondly at the Just King. Eustace tries to hear what the Prince tells Edmund, but all noise turns to mush the second he sees the young woman surface, a brilliant smile on her face.

At first glance, he thinks it’s a siren. He’s heard stories about their enchanting beauty and ethereal forms, and Eustace does genuinely believe that this woman is too gorgeous to be human like he is. As she swims closer, though, and the ship's crew help pull her onto the ship, Eustace notices the lack of a tail. And though her hair is soaked and strewn across her face, and her clothes suction themselves to her skin, none of it takes away from her radiance.

It also doesn’t distract him from the fact that she’s walking right towards him. 

Eustace’s mouth goes bone dry, and he gulps nervously, afraid she’ll talk to him and afraid she won’t, when suddenly, Edmund swoops past him and towards the woman. He snatches her up in a passionate embrace, hands securing her to him as he twirls her around in sheer delight.

When they kiss, chaste but heady, Eustace decides that he has never actually known anything about anything.

He’s scouring the sky for flying pigs when he hears Edmund’s self-satisfied voice behind him, “And this, my very real girlfriend, Y/N, would be my cousin, Eustace Scrubb.”

“How do you do?” Eustace says weakly, extending a hand, trying his hardest not to faint when you take it.

“Pretty well. If only Edmund would- what was it again?- stop holding my family hostage, I think I’d be great,” you rib amiably, throwing back one of Eustace’s earliest theories back into his now scarlet face.

“No, darling, you’ve got it wrong, I’ve currently got your dogs kidnapped and ready to be shipped to the pound, remember?” Edmund joins in on the fun, his smile widening as he earns a couple of chuckles from you, and a darker flush from Eustace’s cheeks. 

Eustace Scrubb, though unwilling, is forced to admit, after watching the two of you interact, gravitating towards each other naturally, at ease with the love that surrounds you, his cousin’s eyes brighter than he’s ever seen them, that it is very believable for Edmund Pevensie to be dating Y/N L/N after all. 

[eminsunnytoons123]

The teppums Show gang characters!

Part 9, 10, 11 And 12!

Heres now the other four parts i made a week ago =^_^= And also this week i sorta changed when im excited to not Type in overly big letters And I have changed not to invade anyone's privacy, And i have became more polite but i still hope the blue haired auntie/bestie of mine And the other three friends of mine will unblock me And forgive me. =^///^= ♥️

Now some info about them:

Gem the Genie - gem the Genie is Mad monty's teppum counterpart, he is an arrogant, sarcastic, sorta rude, ignorant Genie in the teppums Show gang and Mayhem pirates gang, he is 27 years old like Mad Monty And he is bisexual. He is good friends with glemsom Sebastian And tough Draco, And he describes himself as: "the great Genie of all eternity", And he is from Arabia. He sometimes has friendly rivalry with Mad Monty And his gang. His headcanon voice actor is Orn Arnason, And his voice claim is Genie from lazytown.

Tough Draco - tough Draco is bad polly's teppum counterpart, he is an tough, rude, rough, mean pirate Monkey in the teppums Show gang and the mayhem pirates gang, he is 24 years old like bad Polly And he is pansexual. He makes an friendly rivalry with bad Polly And his gang, And he is best friends with gem the Genie And glemsom Sebastian. His headcanon voice actor is Roger Craig Smith, And his voice claim is Sonic the hedgehog from Sonic boom.

Glemsom Sebastian - glemsom Sebastian is clueless morgan's teppum counterpart, he is an friendly, forgetful, confused, sorta naive but sweet sloth Guy in the teppums Show gang and the mayhem pirates gang, he is 27 years old like clueless Morgan And he is bisexual. He is just as naive as clueless Morgan, And Sebastian is from denmark And "glemsom" in his name Means "forgetful". He makes a friendly rivalry with clueless Morgan And his gang. His headcanon voice actor is Matt Hill, And his voice claim is Ed from Ed, Edd And Eddy.

Alfred - alfred is waldorf's teppum counterpart, he is an friendly, heckling, sarcastic And sorta arrogant old Guy in the teppums Show gang, he is 59 years old like waldorf And he is bisexual, he is dating Chester. He likes to heckle And make fun of the teppums when they do their acts And Show, but he gets along with waldorf very well. His headcanon voice actor is Peter browgardt, And his voice claim is uncle grandpa from uncle grandpa.

Chester - Chester is statler's teppum counterpart, he is an sorta rude, arrogant, sarcastic And ignorant old Guy in the teppums Show gang, he is 60 years old like statler And he is bisexual, he is dating Alfred. He likes to make fun of the teppums when theyre doing their Show And acts, And he gets along with statler very well. His headcanon voice actor is Arthur Anderson, And his voice claim is the Modern voice of eustace Bagge from courage the cowardly dog.

Diana the mermaid - Diana the mermaid is Camilla chicken's teppum counterpart, she is an sweet, friendly, sarcastic, kind-hearted And polite mermaid Lady in the teppums Show gang, she is 24 years old like camilla And she is pansexual, she is dating Hector the brilliant. She is the only teppum that uses wheelchair because she has an mermaid tail And cant walk out the water without her wheelchair, And she does her cool wheelchair tricks, but Hector sometimes gets scared and worried when she does that. Her headcanon voice actress is Laura Bailey, And her voice claim is Lagoona Blue from Monster high.

Victoria the fennec Fox - Victoria the fennec Fox is yolanda the rat's teppum counterpart, she is an sarcastic, arrogant but an friendly, caring And kind fennec Fox Lady in the teppums Show gang, she is 19 years old like yolanda And she is bisexual And polyamourous, she is dating litvik the King cobra And quade the fennec Fox. She likes doing her makeup, baking cookies And cakes, jewelry... And her favorite colors are maroon, hot Pink And Purple. Her headcanon voice actress is Niccole Thurman, And her voice claim is squiddly diddly from jellystone!.

Sindy the verdin Bird - sindy the verdin Bird is Gloria estefan's teppum counterpart, she is an sweet, cute, friendly And playful verdin Bird in the teppums Show gang, she is probably 5 years old like Gloria estefan. She is one of madame camela's lovable And playful pets, sindy is from the dessert And she has an cute squeaky voice. Her headcanon voice actress is Tara strong, And her voice claim is Bubbles from the original powerpuff girls.

Raphael abadie - Raphael abadie is Lew Zealand's teppum counterpart, he is an sassy, friendly, geeky, polite Guy in the teppums Show gang, he is 26 years old like Lew Zealand And he is bisexual, he is dating insane Axel. He has his seahorse frisbees, And he is from Brooklyn And has an thick Brooklyn accent, sometimes others think he is from France due to a berret hat on his head. His headcanon voice actor is Kyle Rideout, And his voice claim is Vinnie from littlest pet shop.

Federico agosti - Federico agosti is Marvin suggs' teppum counterpart, he is an sassy, flirty, friendly And sarcastic Guy in the teppums Show gang, he is 28 years old like Marvin and he is bisexual. He has his murfies-murries, And they do the instrumental for him while he sings, but he sometimes gently taps them And thats their sign to start making the instrumental, And the murfies-murries have a squeaky accent like roly-pollies from sillyville And their gender is Unknown but they look like girls. He is from Italia And he has an thick italian accent, his headcanon voice actor is Tim whitnall, And his voice claim is Mr carburettor from roary the racing car.

Rodan the Diamond Giant - rodan the Diamond Giant is sweetums' teppum counterpart, he is an tough, sassy, sarcastic, arrogant And sorta scamming Giant in the teppums Show gang, he is 32 years old like sweetums And he is bisexual, he has a crush on Sir Matthew Rosa. He LOVES Diamonds And any Shiny Crystals like rubies, peridots, pearls... Etc. And even tho he looks scary, he IS actually a very sweet Monster. His headcanon voice actor is Kevin Micheal Richardson, And his voice claim is shredder from the 2012 teenage mutant ninja turtles.

Master Vincent - Master Vincent is uncle deadly's teppum counterpart, he is an spooky, sassy And sarcastic but also an sweet, peaceful And friendly komodo dragon Guy in the teppums Show gang, he is 56 years old like uncle deadly And he is pansexual. He likes peace And peaceful things, but he also likes anything spooky And paranormal, And he sometimes scares others And calls himself "the dragon of the teppums Show". He is even madame camela's best friend And professionalist in wardrobe. His headcanon voice actor is David Graham, And his voice claim is grandpa pig from peppa pig.

French hash slinger - french hash slinger is swedish chef's teppum counterpart, he is an friendly, kind, polite, sorta clumsy hash slinger in the teppums Show gang, he is 35 years old like swedish chef And he is bisexual. He makes delicious french meals And dishes. He has his eyes closed but he sometimes Opens them when he is surprised, shocked or scared. His headcanon voice actor is Peter O'Toole, And his voice claim is Anton Ego from ratatouille.

Daniil the dall sheep - Daniil the dall sheep is constantine's teppum counterpart, he is an rude, tough, arrogant, ignorant And evil dall sheep Guy in the teppums Show gang, he is 25 years old like Constantine And he is bisexual, he is dating Catherine the camel. He disguises as timrek by taking off his dall sheep Horns And putting it on timrek's head, he nearly looks like timrek but he has black gloves, black earring, black eyelids And timrek's clothes but with more darker colors. He is from russia And gets along with Constantine very well And gets ideas from him. His headcanon voice actor is Bryan Cranston, And his voice claim is Vitaly from madagascar 3: escape from Europe.

Henrietta sunflowera - Henrietta sunflowera is Mildred huxetetter's teppum counterpart, she is an sarcastic, mature, polite, arrogant Lady in the teppums Show gang, she is 52 years old like Mildred And she is bisexual, she is dating Harry the janitor. She likes gossiping And drinking tea with The ladies And woman her age, i can say older women. And she Sounds like a man just like how madame camela And stephany sound like men. Her headcanon voice actor is Bob Peterson, And her voice claim is roz from Monsters inc.

I'll make new parts tommorow =^///^=

@splashy900 @kxllboii @cheezecirno @aquamarine-dream-queen @dayzsaclark @oscarandgrinchfan @moshywoosh @ilovescaredysquirrel2 @nuggetaubrey @nightkit92 @familyoffood @mysafespaceblog13 @thelazzyblogzz @sugar-miss1 @shrimpathizer @shypeachrunaway @iggyguyy @sophia-does-skits @typical-sophie @peaceforpeople @ben5569 @princessmishka22 @xxkurosakutisaxx

[stromuprisahat]

One-eyed Prince Aemond, nineteen, was found in the armory, donning plate and mail for his morning practice in the castle yard. “Is Aegon king?” he asked Ser Willis Fell, “or must we kneel and kiss the old whore’s cunny?” Princess Helaena was breaking her fast with her children when the Kingsguard came to her…but when asked the whereabouts of Prince Aegon, her brother and husband, she said only, “He is not in my bed, you may be sure. Feel free to search beneath the blankets.” Prince Aegon was “at his revels,” Munkun says in his True Telling, vaguely. The Testimony of Mushroom claims Ser Criston found the young king-to-be drunk and naked in a Flea Bottom rat pit, where two guttersnipes with filed teeth were biting and tearing at each other for his amusement whilst a girl who could not have been more than twelve pleasured his member with her mouth. Let us put that ugly picture down to Mushroom being Mushroom, however, and consider instead the words of Septon Eustace.

Fire and Blood (George R. R. Martin)

Aemond is truly such a momma's boy.

It would seem even Helaena had some personality! Girl's pretty sassy that one time she's allowed to speak.

What's interesting- when the narrator speaks about Rhaenyra, Mushroom's considered legitimate source, but a child giving head to Aegon is just "Mushroom being Mushroom". Biased too much?!

[elinor-bolton]

So I wanted to write about the textual evidence regarding Aegon II and the child fighting pit, and why its extremely dubious that it happened at all based on the text of Fire&Blood

So just a little bit of background on fire & blood. Fire& blood, the book containing the information the house of the dragon is based on, was written in the asoiaf universe from the perspective of Maester Yandel, contains sections from the perspective of Archmaester Gyldayn. It containes six chapters detailing the Dance of the Dragons, taken from several people’s accounts that were there at the time. The perspectives that matter in this particular bit of the story are those of Septon Eustace, Grand Master Munkin, and Mushroom, the fool. One should note that all of these perpectives contain inaccuracies, and often conflicting stories, but Eustace was known for being a supporter of the Greens and Mushroom was said to have greatly loved Rhaenya and was known to add an air of scandal to any of his accounts (ex during the early days of the Dance, Jacaerys was sent to the Vale to request aid from Lady Jeyne Arryn, the ruling lady of house Arryn, known as the “Maid of the Vale” because she never married. According to Mushroom, she agreed to lend her support only if Jace could make her climax with his tongue. This is obviously ridiculus, as, besides the obvious, not only was Jace 15 and Jeyne 36 at the time (Not the pedophilia doesn’t happen a lot in asoiaf, it is generally doesn’t happen with an older woman and a younger man) and Jeyne was well accepted by the history books to be only interested in women. She had a lifelong “companion” in Jessamyn Redfort and was known to have died in her arms at the age of 40.) But back to my point. The perspectives were biased and Mushroom told scandalous stories. We do know that Septon Eustace was the only one who we can be certian was in Kings Landing for the events of Ep 9, as he preformed Viserys I’s last rights. We do know that Mushroom was not at KL directly after Viserys I death, as he was at Rhaenyra’s court at Dragonstone.

So, we get to the events of Ep9. All accounts agree that Aegon was not with Helaena and their children when called in by the council. Munkin’s account simply states the prince was found “at his revels” Eustace’s account says that Aegon was found “abed with a well-kept paramour, the daughter of a wealthy trader.” Mushroom, who was definately not present told a very different story. He states these “revels” “were at a Flea Bottom rat pit, where feral children fought each other for the amusement of watchers, while Aegon, drunk and naked, was pleasured by a young girl.”

Now we know these rat pits existed, and several members of the Dance may have visited them, including Aegon (once again, by the account of only Mushroom), Daemon and Baela (see the end of the linked above article on”rat pits” However, literally the only person who says the Aegon was there was Mushroom, who very much was not in Kings Landing. I’m not in any way trying to argue that he was “in bed with a well kept Paramour” (honestly he was probably drunk at a brothel) But I think it’s absolutely ridiculous and incredibly biased that the writers of the show decided to take the obviously unsubstantiated account of the story and use that to make Aegon seem worse. It’s just part of a larger pattern of the writers picking the absolute worst accounts for Aegon’s character building and completely ignoring the objective accounts for Rhaenyra (Such as the fact that in the text she definitely ordered the death of Vaemond, who did not call her a whore (Although he did accuse her of committing adultery which was high treason so) Instead the show has Viserys”ordering his death” and Daemon acting on his own to behead a noble without trial (aka literally the thing that Joffrey does to Ned Stark that starts the war with the North) which is a super big issue the narrative just glosses over, but once again i digress

[bohemian-nights]

You’re nothing more than a raging misogynist and rape apologist who use bad faith arguments every single time:

“Following the ancient tradition of House Targaryen, King Viserys wed his son Aegon the Elder to his daughter Helaena. The groom was fifteen years of age; a lazy and somewhat sulky boy, Septon Eustace tells us, but possessed of more than healthy appetites, a glutton at table, given to swilling ale and strongwine and pinching and fondling any serving girl who strayed within his reach.”

You do understand that Aegon II pinching and fondling maids is sexual assault, right ?

Then add this quote, from Septon Eustace who doesn’t like Rhaenyra and favor Aegon II:

“Prince Aegon was “at his revels,” Munkun says in his True Telling, vaguely. The Testimony of Mushroom claims Ser Criston found the young king-to-be drunk and naked in a Flea Bottom rat pit, where two guttersnipes with filed teeth were biting and tearing at each other for his amusement whilst a girl who could not have been more than twelve pleasured his member with her mouth. Let us put that ugly picture down to Mushroom being Mushroom, however, and consider instead the words of Septon Eustace.

Though the good septon admits Prince Aegon was with a paramour when he was found, he insists the girl was the daughter of a wealthy trader, and well cared for besides. Moreover, the prince at first refused to be a part of his mother’s plans. “My sister is the heir, not me,” he says in Eustace’s account. “What sort of brother steals his sister’s birthright?” Only when Ser Criston convinced him that the princess must surely execute him and his brothers should she don the crown did Aegon waver. “Whilst any trueborn Targaryen yet lives, no Strong can ever hope to sit the Iron Throne,” Cole said. “Rhaenyra has no choice but to take your heads if she wishes her bastards to rule after her.” It was this, and only this, that persuaded Aegon to accept the crown that the small council was offering him, insists our gentle septon.”

Septon Eustace, a Green supporter/whitewasher, doesn’t even negate the fact that the girl who he’d been caught with was at most 12 year old. He specifically negates that Aegon II’s paramour was too low born. That 12-year-old child can’t give consent. ‘Even’ in this medieval setting.

I'm not repeating myself so here!

Furthermore, are you a Rhaenyra stan? Welp, guess that means you’re a raging anti-Black racist who hates other women since you obviously condone her trying to murder Nettles(who she thought could be pregnant) in her sleep for the crime of sleeping with her pure Valyrian husband(see how that works🙃).

[flickys-courage-club]

[CW⚠�� WEIRDCORE/DREAMCORE]

Courage The Cowardly Dog characters if they were in Weirdcore/Dreamcore AU.

This AU has their designs made morbid based on a type(s) of aesthetic(s)

Courage is a dog puppet with stitch marks all over his face and body. He can't talk since his mouth is stitched shut, he has buttons sewn into his eyes which are bleeding out of them. His design is based on plushies with button eyes and marionette puppets

Muriel and Eustace are faceless

Katz has spider features such as having six eyes and spider legs on his back. His design is based on cats, spiders and horror aesthetic

Le Quack is a duck accordion toy that plays his background music, based on those monkey cymbal toys

Cajun Fox's appearance is of an actual fox

Bunny and Kitty are both plushies made of cotton and wool. Kitty's mouse toy is a living mouse and appears on her shoulder

Banana Suit Dealer is faceless

Ma Bagge's face isn't shown but it only shows her glasses

Fusilli is a ventriloquist dummy with four crocodile eyes

Black Puddle Queen has a more monstrous siren appearance along with her outfit and hair covered in coral, shells and pearls. Design based on ocean academia

Clutching Foot's faces have hundreds of eyes

Shirley has a crystal ball head

Computer is a computer head

Weremole is more werewolf looking

Dr Zalost has rat features and Rat is a reanimated ragdoll plush

Benton Tarentella is a camera head

Errol Van Volkheim is a picture head

Courage's parents/Henry and Teresa are ragdolls

Mad Dog has chains around his arms. His design is based on hatecore aesthetic

Cruel Veterinarian's design is based on digital horror aesthetic

Freaky Fred's pupils are dilated and has a large unsettling grin. His design is based on analog horror and Sweeney Todd

Banana Suit Dealer is a faceless banana

Charlie's design is based on foodie aesthetic

General and Lieutenant are both faceless

King Ramses's design is based on horror and analog horror aesthetics with his slab attached to his chest and has scarecrow like features

Cat Thieves/Jim and Paul are conjoined twins

Schwick has a human body with beetle features

Di Lung has features of the Chinese lion

The Empress's design has features of the Chinese dragon

Goose God is a lightning bolt head

Storm Goddess is a cloud head

Hunchback's only facial feature is his eye

Bigfoot's face has hundreds of eyes

Newsman is microphone head

Duck Brothers are all conjoined together

Dorothy Bagge is faceless

Stitch Sisters are ragdoll puppets

Space Chicken's design is based on spacecore

Dr Gerbil has a human torso with rodent features

Dr Vindaloo's design is based on analog horror aesthetic

The Perfectionist Teacher's face is blurred

King of Flan is a flan head

Velvet Vic is a record player head

[jacaela]

Ser Criston Cole spoke up. Should the princess reign, he reminded them, Jacaerys Velaryon would rule after her. “Seven save this realm if we seat a bastard on the Iron Throne.” He spoke of Rhaenyra’s wanton ways and the infamy of her husband. “They will turn the Red Keep into a brothel. No man’s daughter will be safe, nor any man’s wife. Even the boys…we know what Laenor was.”

That's sooooo funny, crispin

 Prince Aegon was “at his revels,” Munkun says in his True Telling, vaguely. The Testimony of Mushroom claims Ser Criston found the young king-to-be drunk and naked in a Flea Bottom rat pit, where two guttersnipes with filed teeth were biting and tearing at each other for his amusement whilst a girl who could not have been more than twelve pleasured his member with her mouth. Let us put that ugly picture down to Mushroom being Mushroom, however, and consider instead the words of Septon Eustace.

Though the good septon admits Prince Aegon was with a paramour when he was found, he insists the girl was the daughter of a wealthy trader, and well cared for besides. Moreover, the prince at first refused to be a part of his mother’s plans.

Eustace was too shy to talk about her age.

The groom was fifteen years of age; a lazy and somewhat sulky boy, Septon Eustace tells us, but possessed of more than healthy appetites, a glutton at table, given to swilling ale and strongwine and pinching and fondling any serving girl who strayed within his reach.

[horizon-verizon]

In the book, Aegon II is just very promiscuous, not a rapist. So I don’t get Black stans saying that the show whitewashed the Greens. And in the book Aegon only takes the crown to protect his family and before that says “My sister is the heir not me.” He even refers to her as his sister rather than his half-sister, when Rhaenyra calls him her half-brother, always. Aegon wasn’t a good person in the book either, but he certainly wasn’t this monster before he took the throne like Aegon is in the show. The show is a pro-Black fanfic.

A)

"Promiscuous" implied consent between all parties. These passages beg you to reread them:

Following the ancient tradition of House Targaryen, King Viserys wed his son Aegon the Elder to his daughter Helaena. The groom was fifteen years of age; a lazy and somewhat sulky boy, Septon Eustace tells us, but possessed of more than healthy appetites, a glutton at table, given to swilling ale and strongwine and pinching and fondling any serving girl who strayed within his reach. 

(A Question of Succession)

Then add this coming quote, how Septon Eustace (who doesn’t like Rhaenyra and favored the green [you know this by watching how he uses language when talking against Rhaenyra’s weight and for...well you shall see....]) defends Aegon, just as you do:

Prince Aegon was “at his revels,” Munkun says in his True Telling, vaguely. The Testimony of Mushroom claims Ser Criston found the young king-to-be drunk and naked in a Flea Bottom rat pit, where two guttersnipes with filed teeth were biting and tearing at each other for his amusement whilst a girl who could not have been more than twelve pleasured his member with her mouth. Let us put that ugly picture down to Mushroom being Mushroom, however, and consider instead the words of Septon Eustace.

Though the good septon admits Prince Aegon was with a paramour when he was found, he insists the girl was the daughter of a wealthy trader, and well cared for besides. Moreover, the prince at first refused to be a part of his mother’s plans. “My sister is the heir, not me,” he says in Eustace’s account. “What sort of brother steals his sister’s birthright?” Only when Ser Criston convinced him that the princess must surely execute him and his brothers should she don the crown did Aegon waver. “Whilst any trueborn Targaryen yet lives, no Strong can ever hope to sit the Iron Throne,” Cole said. “Rhaenyra has no choice but to take your heads if she wishes her bastards to rule after her.” It was this, and only this, that persuaded Aegon to accept the crown that the small council was offering him, insists our gentle septon.

(The Blacks and the Greens)

Septon Eustace -- a green supporter/whitewasher -- doesn’t even negate the fact that the girl who he’d been caught with was at most 12 year old, btw. He specifically negates that she was too low born.

That 12-year-old can't give consent, anon. "Even" in this medieval setting (real medieval nobles still preferred to have people marry at least 15-16 AND Westerosi nobles consider a girl marriageable once she has her period, but safer to have sex with later).

And yet, later we hear this:

Word of Rhaenyra’s coronation reached the Red Keep the next day, to the great displeasure of Aegon II. “My half-sister and my uncle are guilty of high treason,” the young king declared. “I want them attainted, I want them arrested, and I want them dead.” Cooler heads on the green council wished to parley. “The princess must be made to see that her cause is hopeless,” Grand Maester Orwyle said. “Brother should not war against sister. Send me to her, that we may talk and reach an amicable accord.”

Aegon would not hear of it. Septon Eustace tells us that His Grace accused the Grand Maester of disloyalty and spoke of having him thrown into a black cell “with your black friends.” But when the two queens—his mother, Queen Alicent, and his wife, Queen Helaena spoke in favor of Orwyle’s proposal, the truculent king gave way reluctantly.

(The Blacks and the Greens)

AND

Aegon II was two-and-twenty, quick to anger and slow to forgive. Rhaenyra’s refusal to accept his rule enraged him. “I offered her an honorable peace, and the whore spat in my face,” he declared. “What happens next is on her own head.”

(The Blacks and the Greens)

The event with Aegon supposedly sincerely saying “What sort of brother steals his sister’s birthright?” (as Eustace says) CONTRADICTS Aegon’s later words, tone, and actions regarding Rhaenyra are completely in tone. 

And his entitlement and misogyny were set in the story long before he was ever pushed or guided onto the throne. In the first quote above, we learn of Aegon’s personality: hedonistic and lazy. Both traits when combined you do not want in someone who could gain absolute power and authority. Why? Well, we saw immediately when the book lets us know he “fondled” and “pinching” serving girls. No respect for the boundaries of those subordinate (or perceived as such) to him and the entitlement driving him to act maliciously to the underserving for his own selfish pleasures.

Anon, do you actually think those girls could and would say no to a prince, or outwardly show and say no in the fear of his position and and insistence? 

Do you actually think they wanted to be fondled? 

Do you actually think that someone that entitled and with all that power and privilege and willingness/desire to fondle and ignore boundaries, wouldn't push an errant, unfortunate serving girl, push her against a wall, order her into a room, and then force himself on her?! This is a rapist’s MO, anon. Do your research, or just think.

Do you actually believe, that someone who has been told their entire life that they deserve the throne because they had a penis and later says several times that he would kill Rhaenyra to keep his throne, doesn’t want the throne for himself even just a little (esp after being convinced she'd kill him otherwise...which if you spent your entire life seeing your sister be heir and actually accept it, why does it take one guy to tell you--and only now--that she is definitely going to kill you? He had his whole life to feel she'd actually kill him, why now?)?! Or doesn't thrust himself on girls he feels he has entitled, free access to because his position as a male royal already (to him) grants him that ability?

How does Eustace’s words about Aegon’s compassionate/brotherly affections not come across as a lie (less likely, admittedly) or at least something that exposes Aegon as untrustworthy and selfishly power-hungry in light of the very possessive tone he takes whenever he talks about him and others going against Rhaenyra?! He never cared or respected Rhaenyra, not really! 

Aegon praises Aemond for killing Lucerys, and we are meant to see him as wanting to be brotherly to Rhaenyra?! 

Aemond Targaryen…who would henceforth be known as Aemond the Kinslayer to his foes…returned to King’s Landing, having won the support of Storm’s End for his brother Aegon, and the undying enmity of Queen Rhaenyra. If he thought to receive a hero’s welcome, he was disappointed. Queen Alicent went pale when she heard what he had done, crying, “Mother have mercy on us all.” Nor was Ser Otto pleased. “You only lost one eye,” he is reported to have said. “How could you be so blind?” The king himself did not share their concerns, however. Aegon II welcomed Prince Aemond home with a great feast, hailed him as “the true blood of the dragon,” and announced that he had made “a good beginning.”

(A Son for a Son)

I don’t know about you, anon, but I say that a true brother would not want to kill their sibling’s child or want to have them dead so much.

B)

Rhaenyra calls him “half brother” because he literally and eagerly stole her throne AND before that, for years he and his other brothers have been in a "rivalry" with her sons. Because of Alicent telling them that Rhaenyra's sons were bastards and, as a woman, she didn't actually, deserve the throne anyway--

plus any/all the probable throwaway remarks Alicent makes on Rhaenyra's supposed amoral character ("disrespectful", "disobedient", "whorish") that show how Alicent feels about her without her necessarily instructing them since they have been old enough to use basic cognitive functions and reasoning--

Honestly, if she called him worse or an actual pejorative, it'd match the depth of how Aegon wronged her and her own kids.

Aegon and his brothers likely would have willfully antagonized them, initiated much of their fights (verbal or else), & went out of their way to make them feel very unwelcome in the Red Keep. The greens' and the blacks' children have been hating each other.  It's not hard, if you know what prejudice looks like and accept its existence, to use the brain and imagine scenes like I've described.

They may as well not be actual family, because the greens have already treated her and hers as not family, even as enemies. Do you think she should lie more than she already has/hasn't? During a time that they have, again, denied her something that her own father allowed her?

Aegon doesn’t treat her with respect, Alicent doesn’t, Aemond doesn’t, didn’t, and never will? Aemond, who fought with her sons and threatened their very lives after openly calling them bastards before one took out his eye? Aegon, who also has no reason to respect Rhaenyra after Alicent has been telling him to not do so for years?! Alicent, who turned on her when Rhaenyra was 10 the moment she birthed this same man, Aegon the Elder, after hearing Viserys refuse to change his mind and replace Rhaenyra with her son? 

Rhaenyra should feel close to these people? Should regard the boys as her "brothers"? Why should Rhaenyra feel and speak anymore graciously than she already does?:

“As for my half-brothers and my sweet sister, Helaena,” she announced, “they have been led astray by the counsel of evil men. Let them come to Dragonstone, bend the knee, and ask my forgiveness, and I shall gladly spare their lives and take them back into my heart, for they are of my own blood, and no man or woman is as accursed as the kinslayer.”

(The Blacks and the Greens)

There is a reason why she doesn't say "half-sister" regarding Helaena, whose role in all of this seemed always nil, and is thus the most "innocent". Plus her personality is itself more happy-go-lucky than ambitious.

If Rhaenyra were a male heir, no one would say she shouldn’t call her brother her/his “half-brother” as if that were the worst thing she/he could have done to the green boys. They would call her/him gracious or patient. Or, if they were inclined to, even “weak” like people (including those who supported him before) did with Aegon the Uncrowned. 

Because by all means, if someone is stealing your designated seat of power that you were assigned and entrusted with with since you were 7 years old (and you are now a grown person with kids of your own, in your early 30s) and you don’t do try to force them back, you would thought of as not worthy of that throne. This is how a medieval mind works. and even modernly, if someone intentionally takes what you’ve prepared for for years or destroys it....am I then expected to repress or ignore this and act as if the person is my friend? As if they are worthy of my respect or grace?

Anon, what sort of servile self-denial are you trying to espouse?

C)

There are truly way too many ways that I and others have already argued how this show removes or reduces the greens' canonical evil, misogynist, and selfish ambition into "accidents" or makes it non-existent, unimportant, or subsidiary. The entire premise of the Dance is that the patriarchal system and a few of its agents choose to usurp her for their own want for power, and thinking that they are entitled to do so because she had a vagina and not a penis. And the results are:

their (the greens’) entire line was wiped from the map

Rhaenyra’s line survives but she dies horribly and the Targs lose the very dragons that are part of not just their own selves but is also the magical balance of this universe/weapon against the Others in the coming Long Night

and her sons live out the rest of their childhoods politically vulnerable -- one the rest of his life psychologically in despair and unworthy (after seeing the same person you defend feed his mother to a dragon)

If you were keeping track of the story GRRM writes, you should know this and make these connections.

How Ryan and his team write is to remove all means of agency and accountability from his characters so that we only have victims to feel sorry for, and it's even a knock against the villains of the story. Seth Abramson talks about Ryan’s “theory of accidents”. How Ryan believes he is adding complexity by making characters reactive instead of proactive and asking unnecessary and motive-dismissing “what ifs”. 

But all Ryan is doing is showing:

how he wants this series to revitalize public interest in ASoIaF TV after GoT’s horror show of an ending

how he seems to either misunderstand or believe the conservative, misogynist, classist greens were in the moral right and political defense when actually it's the other way around (thus you see misogynist, tradcath and tradfems, racist, classists feeling validated and popping out the woodwork in the fandom, vocally expressing their thoughts unmatched in the previous years of asoiaf fandom)

how superficial his motives towards this franchise is

If you really want to know how this show does this, you should look at my blog under the tags “history is a series of accidents”, “Rhaenicent,” “hotd characterization”, “aemond’s characterization”, “aemond and alys”, and “Aegon ii’s characterization”.

But if you don’t I suggest you do not bring up arguments that are dead wrong. 

[lya-dustin]

Someone will remember us

Chapter 13

Gif by @daenerys-stormborn

Taglist: @arrthurpendragon

“I am not sorry, your grace. I will not apologize for defending someone who could not defend herself.” Aemma stands her ground and wears a dress with shortened sleeves and refuses to hide the bruises in her arms. “If you wish to punish me, do so, but know I do not regret my actions and Septon Eustace knows my conscious is clear.”

“I will not punish you, child. You did what you felt was right, and we do not punish righteousness here.”

Alicent has resigned herself to know Aemma will never forgive her for what happened with Helaena and half the court agreed that Aemma did no wrong.

Helaena is more reserved now. Prays daily that her wedding night results in a baby so she and Aegon will not have to lay with each other again.

Aegon fears her, hides it, but Aemma knows he won’t ever do that again now that he has awoken the dragon.

Cole seems to have developed a certain level of respect towards her and even apologized for having been too rough on her.

Aemond was hesitant to speak to her, but in the end complimented her on her wicked right hook. Even said he would have done the same if he had gotten there before her.

But that pales in comparison to how the smallfolk see her now.

This morning, when she and Teora rode out to give alms and check on the progress of a new home for orphans just outside King’s Landing, Aemma was given a new name.

Little Queen.

One of Queen Alysanne's many names. Once again, Aemma cannot do anything without being compared to this magnanimous and perfect queen.

Little Queen! Queen Aemma! They had shouted as she rode past in her open curtained litter.

They love you, Teora had said when they started calling her that.

If they love you, they will fight for you, grandmother had taught her.

If they love you, they will draw you in you and your silver dragon eating Queen Alicent even if people scurry to clean it off before anyone else sees it.

Love just like truth is a dangerous thing.

“Still, your highness, I recommend that you control your anger. People will be looking at you to see what weaknesses they can exploit for their gain.”

“How fortuitous that she has us to protect her.” Teora said in that tone of hers. That tone that says you will die screaming if you touch a hair on her head, but I mean it in the nicest possible way.

-----

“They love her more than they loved her mother.” Vaemond is proud of Aemma , proud of how like Laenor she is.

Laenor who made friends with everyone and was always pleasant to be around. They missed him dearly. Damion, missed him most of all, he had been the one closest to him as children.

“Rhaenyra has not endeared herself to the people like she has, brother. Aemma drinks tea with tradesmen’s daughters, buys from even the poorest of the vendors and even plays with the street rats, but there is an issue, Vaemond.” Teora has no idea how she can break the news that little Aemma is ill and maybe so for her entire life.

“Her violent outburst was completely justified, but we will see she learns to channel it better. That is not a real issue, sister.” Vaemond dismissed her worries.

“She is ill, a sickness other Targaryens had according to Gerardys had as well.” Teora knows not to draw things out, but she can barely speak when the thought of little Aemma one day falling and never waking up. “Archmaester Vaegon called them atonic seizures, where parts of the body or the entire body suddenly seize to work for seconds or minutes at a time. Septa Rhaelle called them drop fits. Aemma had one the night the Queen attacked Rhaenyra, but they are happening ever since she visited her mother.”

“Who else knows?” that is her brother’s first question. Teora knew it would be, it would hamper his ambition if her claim was denied to her.

“Helaena Targaryen, she says the girl called them dragon dreams. Aemma claims she saw Prince Aemond lose his eye when she had her first drop fit and that she has seen Jace be shot down by the Triarchy over the open ocean and drown with his dragon.” Teora answers. While there was some credibility in these visions and the first had happened, there was a possibility that Aemma was just imagining things.

“What does her mother say about the matter, does she believe Aemma is a dreamer?” Rhaenys finally speaks up, she is observant and to observe one must listen more than they speak. A habit she had passed onto her granddaughters.

“She is unaware that two of them came with visons, Aemma claims that she had no opportunity to speak about it.” While it could benefit them should Rhaenyra chose to name any of her sons as heirs, she needs to be warned against dangers.

“Good, we lose our advantage if she does. I do not trust her nor Daemon, with Baela and Rhaena betrothed to the Strong boys they may seek to usurp her claim.” Vaemond speaks the part even Rhaenys has been reluctant to admit.

Who is to say Jacaerys will not wish to usurp his sister?

“Rhaenyra will now when the time is right, perhaps the gods agree with you, brother, but gods are fickle things.” Her goodsister gives into Vaemond’s paranoia for the moment.

“Vaegon lived to be eighty, perhaps she will share his longevity.” Vaemond drinks and thinks he is hiding his concern well enough.

He was only on their side because Laenor’s only child was Rhaenyra’s heir. Should one of the Princess of Dragonstone’s bastard sons were to rise as their King, they would not be on her side.

“Septa Rhaelle died from a fall at the age of thirty, brother. Her mother worries an accident could happen or that the Queen’s party will use her illness to have her declared unfit.” Teora hates being the bearer of bad news, but it must be said. “Luckily for us, all her new limitations coincide with things young ladies must give up for propriety’s sake.”

“We must not hinder her growth, King Aenys’ ill health in his boyhood was cured by his dragon, if she is kept from her dragons her health will suffer. Allow her to fly and ride as she has always done, people will become suspicious if we keep her mother’s oppressive measures, Teora.” The princess orders, disliking the list of Maester Gerardys’ preventive care suggestions.

“Her mother will not like it.” Teora has no reap argument against it, but she is under orders to keep her charge safe.

“Leave Rhaenyra to me, goodsister.”

-----

Aemma spins in a fit of giggles as she spins in her Maiden’s Day dress.

It is fine white dress as pale as snow that makes Aemma feel like a maiden at last.

Not the pimply three- and ten-year-old girl who is already taller than some of the boys and too new to her long legs to be graceful all the time.

She is a daughter of Old Valyria and the heir to the Princess of Dragonstone, tomorrow she will be a maiden, the most beautiful maiden in the entire realm.

There is no adornment whatsoever on the dress and Aemma is not to wear any jewelry. Her hair will be brushed and left down to show she is a maiden, and her dress is to be of linen for purity.

She will light the first of the tall white candles at the Maiden’s feet and hang the first and finest garland of parchment around her neck and sing all the songs about the Maiden.

Aemma has been preparing for this day for years and it had finally come.

There was only one trivial problem, the King had asked the Queen to be the one to host her ball afterwards.

Mother was deeply offended, as were Vaemond and Teora. Grandmother did not care, said the queen was the queen and they were their guests.

She is to fast and purify herself by not being in the presence of boys until that day. She and her ladies spend all their time together, talking and praying and practicing their dancing for tomorrow.

Still that night she sneaks out through the servants’ hall and through the secret passage one of the ratcatcher’s had taught her when she was ten and she in turn had taught Helaena and their brothers.

Aemma finds Aemond there.

“Where are you off to?” she asks him.

“Anywhere but here.” He says and follows her as she takes the passage they had marked. It led to the Godswood, no one would be there at night.

Well, young lovers meeting up in secret went. They say Jaehaerys and Alysanne would go there and just be alone together. That Saera had fornicated against the trunk of the weirwood with each of her lovers, swearing with a hand against the holy that they were her first and only lovers.

She shouldn’t know that particular story, but she had stumbled upon a drunk Mushroom and two serving wenches who asked him for it one time she was in Dragonstone.

But that is not why she wants to go there. Aemma just wants to see the stars and read them like grandfather and grandmother taught her.

She knows most of the constellations now, knows how to find her way with them when she flies at night. She has not mastered them, but Maester Kelvyn at Driftmark knew a lot about cartography and had one of the few treatises on it by the Valyrian scholar and King of the last dynasty, Ptolemy of House Soter.

She would have brought the book here, but Maester Kelvyn said she was too little and the books too precious to be given to her.

So, he had given her a copy made by an acolyte before she left. Well just the easier to read diagrams detailing constellations and where the sun and the other planets were.

She had read it at night on the Silver Queen, mapped out the constellations. She was dying to map out the stars in Kingslanding since she got her.

“Why are you going to the Godswood at this time?” Aemond once they crawl out the tunnel hidden by a hedge.

“Our maester gave me a copy of Ptolemy’s star diagrams, I want to see if I can see how different their placements are from where they are in High Tide and Dragonstone.” She answered holding up the makeshift book she had held tightly to her chest.

“Does Teora know?”

“She thinks I’m somewhere in the pile of highborn girls and pretty pillows on my bed.” Aemma shook her head. Teora had been sound asleep, confident that her charge could not escape her pretty prison tonight.

“Aren’t you supposed to be kept away from boys until after the Maiden’s Day service?” he was full of questions tonight and she tells him so.

“Who is to know? Will you rat me out, Almond?” she taunts him with that old nickname he hated so much.

“Don’t call me that.” He glares at her with his one eye.

Still, they sit together under the tree, look at the stars and talk about everything and nothing at all.

Their conversation goes from stars to heroes.

“Do you think people were afraid of Symon Star Eyes?” he asks as they lean against the trunk of the great weirwood. He is only less than an inch taller, Aemma always catches up to him with every growth spurt.

“Only the stupid ones.” She answers honestly. Only the stupidest of the stupid people are afraid of what makes everyone different.

Their ignorance and inability to accept people as they are makes them bigger fools than all the fools in the world, Mushroom had said when Aemma and her brothers had gotten even with the visiting lord who had been cruel to the dwarf.

“Orwyle suggested one of those painted eyes from Volantis to make me feel less uncomfortable. Even had it made to match my other eye.” Aemond has always been reserved, only a handful of people could get him to talk this much. “Mother and father say it’s my decision, but mother insists on having the procedure done before my four and tenth name day.”

Alicent just wants her son to have a normal existence, likely why she pushed at it.

“What do you think?” she asks him, she wonders if anyone has asked him for his S

“I do want one, just not a cruel imitation of the one I lost.” He struggles a little to get the courage to voice his opinion out loud. “I like the sapphire, reminds me of what Cole said when I struggled with retraining myself after I was blinded. He said if losing both eyes did not stop Symeon Star-Eyes then losing one eye should not hinder me in my progress.”

“Then get the sapphire, if that is what you want. It’s your eye and if you want your mother not to fight you about it, win grandfather and your grandfather and make it three against one, well two, Cole always sides with your mother.” She unconsciously leans closer to him; he stills when she leans her head against his shoulder.

He is so different from her and her brothers. They don’t mind showing their affection with physical touch. Here just physically touching anyone, especially Aemond and Helaena, was never done.

“And I am not saying that because my favorite color is blue.” She adds knowing it will make him smile. He hardly smiles these days, his mouth is curved to look as if he was ---like uncle Daemon, unfortunately---, but Aemma feels proud of herself more getting him to smile even a small one.

“We should go back, people will be asking why the little queen looks too tired in the morning.” He moves away, dusts off his sleeping clothes and offers her a hand when after standing up.

“It is still early, not even the hour of the ghosts yet, but if Prince Aemond Star-Eye wishes to escort me back to my tower, I won’t say no.” she dusts off her robe and takes his hand.

“Don’t call me that, people will talk.” He looks away almost blushing. It’s very cute, if you ask her.

“Let them, I do not care. Haven’t you heard; I am Queen Alysanne come again.” She whispers and he shook his head with a quiet chuckle.

“Will they think I am Jaehaerys if I do this?”

Before she knows it, under the light of stars, during the hour of the Eel, Aemma Velaryon, first of her name, has her first kiss.

----

Notes:

so the Blacks are pushing the Aemma is Alysanne reborn schtik to make it impossible for Aegon ii to have the support of the smallfolk. in the books, rhaenyra was actually popular with the smallfolk until she taxed them all to hell and back after the greens purposely bankrupted the crown.

Aemma is being groomed to be queen and at the tender age of 13 has learned that she can make a situation be really uncomfortable should she feel like it and that it may become a problem should it get out of hand.

Maiden's Day is mentioned in Feast for Crows where Margaery is preparing for it before her arrest. there isn't much info on it, but i suppose its like idk a first communion and a quinceanera/sweet 15 sort of thing.

Claudius Ptolemy(Ptolemy I Soter) was the Macedonian general put in place by Alexander the Great in Egypt and also an historian, mathematician, astronomer and the writer of the Almagest, a 2nd century mathematic and astrological treatise that was widely used for 1200 years until it was discovered that the sun is at the center of the universe not the earth. here he was a king of valyria as I am basing Valyria as an amalgamation of Alexander the Great's empire and the Almagest exists.

glass eyes were made in the 16th centruy in Venice, but before then they had painted enamel, gold, and other gemstones.

Symeon Star-Eyes was a blind hero of the First Men who was a knight and had star sapphires put into his eyes, Aemond is implied to have been inspired by him.

So Westeros has names for hours, at least for night and I found this great explanation of the names on a reddit thread called Hours of the Bat, Eel, Ghost, Owl, Wolf and Nightangale: hour of the bat(dusk), hour of the eel( early night), hour of the ghosts (early night to midnight), hour of the owl (midnight to like 2 am), hour of the wolf (2 am to 4 am) and hour of the nightengale (moonset and dawn)

[autumnalwalker]

Word Search Tag Game

Thank you for the tag, @oh-no-another-idea.

My words to find were violent, damage, hurt, & hope.

Passing the tag to @mjparkerwriting, @kahvilahuhut, @luminouslittlemoth, @enchanted-lightning-aes, and an open tag for anyone else.

Your words shall be blasphemy, collateral, smirk, & pummel.

Violent: Empty Names - 14 - Down Low

Eris snorts a laugh and shakes her head.  What would her parents think if they could see her now, making offerings to some strange god in a cave.  Actually, a bit of blasphemy and idolatry is probably better than whatever violent criminality they assume she gets up to these days.  Maybe they’d write back the next time they got one of her annual letters letting them know she’s still alive.

Damage: Empty Names - 4 - Prince In Gold

“It was a couple weeks after you left,” Sullivan begins, “and with you and Carnette both gone I wasn’t taking it well.  No, don’t apologize, I’ve moved on.  Anywho, I hit a point where I needed something, anything, to get my mind off it, if only for a night.  So I called up Lucinda to see if she could set me up with a gig on short notice to blow off some steam.”

“Lucinda?”

“My old fixer.  Little old lady.  Hair looks like it used to be red.  Vampire.  I think you met her at the wedding.”

“Sounds familiar.”

“Thing is, I hadn’t seen her since the wedding either and she wasn’t answering my calls, so I decided to go drop in on her in person.  She shot me.”

“Rude.”

“Eh, I was in her house uninvited, and she’d just climbed out of her coffin for the night.”

“But what if it hadn’t been you?”

Sullivan shrugs.  “Guess they would have died.  But I just told her the bullets normally get shot at me after she gives me a job.  In light of my comedic genius - you had to be there for the full effect of the delivery - dear old Lucy graciously forgave my unannounced visit and presented me with the predicament that had kept her up all day.

“Apparently some punk kid of a mage got her hands on the staff of a long-dead wizard and was going around calling herself the second coming of Morgan le Fay or some shit.  The kid was a useless newbie, but the staff itself packed enough of a punch for her to set herself up as Crossherd’s newest cult leader and wannabe mob boss.  The powers that be wanted this nipped in the bud before it got to be a real problem - especially if the kid started buying her own con and autogenesis kicked in - and my lovely Lucinda of the immortal wrinkles had been running herself ragged the past week trying to find someone who could take care of the problem with minimal collateral damage.  It was exactly the sort of outlet I’d been looking for and I volunteered to do it that night without pay.”

Hurt: Empty Names - 16 -Mall Rats

“Being a repeat customer and referring my services does not entitle you to information on my other clients.”  Eustace says sharply.  “If anything, you’re the one who owes me by this point.”

“Not even just this once, Eustace?”

“No!  Half my business is staked on my reputation for discretion.  If I lose that I lose everything.”  The creeping anger in his voice is at odds with the calm expression still on his face.  Sullivan hums with amusement at that.

“Oh, I know that quite well.  Like I said, we have an understanding, don’t we Eustace?”  Sullivan leans in closer.  “And understanding like that goes both ways now, does it not?  I know how your profession works, and you know how mine works.”

“Threats now?”  Eustace scoffs.  “If you understood me half as well as you say you do you’d realize that this isn’t even my real body.  There’s nothing you can do here that can hurt me in a way that matters.”

“That’s quite the interesting theory you have there,” Sullivan lilts.  “I’m sure my dearly departed wife would have quite a few things to say about that.  Eh, Eusta-”

“Enough!”  Eustace slams the counter, failing to make Sullivan flinch.  “Yes, that’s my bloody name, you don’t have to keep saying it over and over.  Do you think you’re being endearing?  Gods!  I swear you get creepier every time you darken my doorstep.  Now get out.. of… my… shop…”  His voice goes low as the words trail off in dawning realization.

Sullivan’s ever-present smirk grows a degree wider.

“It’s true, isn’t it?” Eustace stammers, “What they say she did to you.”

The smirk shows teeth.  Even through the wax figure proxy body, Eustace shivers.

Hope: Empty Names - 13 - Open Office

“Hey,” Road waves back as Lacuna and Eris approach down the block.  “You’re right on time.  Ashan just finished his inspection of the property’s wards.”

“Indeed,” Glassheart says with a nod toward them before turning back to Bridgewood.  “As I was saying, your contractors do impressive work.  The perception filter should more than suffice for redirecting anyone without prior Backstage exposure and the underlying structure of the kinetic barrier is unusually stable for being on a command word toggle.”

“I should hope so,” Sullivan lilts, “I spared no expense.”

“That said, I have concerns about some of the retaliatory measures on the mid-layer defenses being overkill.  Intent detection is notoriously fickle and I have no wish to see one of our potential clients arriving in distress only to be exsanguinated upon setting foot on the lawn.”

Lacuna pauses mid-step, one foot on the concrete sidewalk and the other hovering midair just past the fence line.

“It’s fine, just look,” Bridgewood insists before grabbing Lacuna’s wrist and pulling her over the property line, twirling her around him despite the height difference, and letting her go to stumble backwards until Road catches and steadies her.

“See?”  Bridgewood preens while gesturing to Eris.  “Muscles here looks about ready to pummel me and yet all of her blood is still in her body.”

“Keep pulling shit like that and we’ll see how long we can say the same for you,” Eris says.

“Oh, I’m afraid that ship has long since sailed, but you -”

Road coughs pointedly, eliciting a put-upon sigh from Bridgewood.

“But you have my apologies, the both of you.  I recall now that you requested a warning in the future before engaging in practical japery, and you have my word that I will endeavor to do so in the future.”

It is perhaps the third least sincere-sounding apology Lacuna has ever received.

[stromuprisahat]

Baela’s time on Dragonstone had been more troubled, ending with fire and blood. By the time she came to court, she was as wild and willful a young woman as any in the realm. Rhaena was slender and graceful; Baela was lean and quick. Rhaena loved to dance; Baela lived to ride…and to fly, though that had been taken from her when her dragon died. She kept her silver hair cropped as short as a boy’s, so it would not whip about her face when she was riding. Time and time again she would escape her ladies to seek adventure in the streets. She took part in drunken horse races along the Street of the Sisters, engaged in moonlight swims across the Blackwater Rush (whose powerful currents had been known to drown many a strong swimmer), drank with the gold cloaks in their barracks, wagered coin and sometimes clothing in the rat pits of Flea Bottom. Once she vanished for three days and refused to say where she had been when she returned. Even more gravely, Baela had a taste for unsuitable companions. Like stray dogs, she brought them home with her to the Red Keep, insisting that they be given positions in the castle, or be made part of her own retinue. These pets of hers included a comely young juggler, a blacksmith’s apprentice whose muscles she admired, a legless beggar she took pity on, a conjurer of cheap tricks she took for an actual sorcerer, a hedge knight’s homely squire, even a pair of young girls from a brothel, twins, “like us, Rhae”. Once she turned up with an entire troupe of mummers. Septa Amarys, who had been given charge of her religious and moral instruction, despaired of her, and even Septon Eustace could not seem to curb her wild ways.

Fire and Blood (George R. R. Martin)

[princesssarisa]

Since I've been re-listening to the classic fairy tale radio show Let's Pretend, I've been thinking of Arthur Anderson. He was a mainstay character actor on Let's Pretend throughout most of its long run, from age 14 until age 32. But he was probably the cast member with the most notable career beyond radio.

Most famously, he was the original voice of the Lucky Charms cereal mascot Lucky the Leprechaun. He voiced Lucky in commercials from the 1960s through the early '90s, and to the end of his life, people would ask him to sing his musical catchphrase, "They're magically delicious!" I'm sure he was still the voice actor in the very first Lucky Charms commercials I vaguely remember seeing as a toddler. But that wasn't sum total of his non-radio career.

As a teenager, he played the slave boy Lucius in Orson Welles' famous 1937 production of Julius Caesar. He was the real-life equivalent of Zac Efron's character Richard Samuels in Me and Orson Welles, although that movie is heavily fictionalized. He was already a regular on Let's Pretend when that production took place – I don't suppose Me and Orson Welles shows Zac Efron performing in a fairy tale radio show, but if not, it should have.

Later, he played small roles in films like Midnight Cowboy, Green Card, and I'm Not Rappaport, and on various TV shows too.

In his old age, he was the second voice actor for Eustace Bagge in Courage the Cowardly Dog.

He also wrote two non-fiction books: Let's Pretend and the Golden Age of Radio, and his autobiography, An Actor's Odyssey: Orson Welles to Lucky the Leprechaun.

He lived a good long life, eventually dying in 2016 at age 93.

While I don't have a complete list of his Let's Pretend roles, these are all his roles in the episodes I've heard:

*The title character, Bud, in The Youth Who Learned to Shiver and Shake (the only episode I know of where he played the lead)

*The Giant in Jack and the Beanstalk

*The Witch Doctor in The Little Mermaid (they gender-bent the Sea Witch to add another male role to the story)

*Falada the horse in The Goose Girl

*Alan-a-Dale in Robin Hood

*The Bumblebee King in Thumbelina

*The Crow in The Snow Queen

*The Blacksmith Elf in The Night Before Christmas

*The greedy man George Brown in the show's other Christmas special, The House of the World

*The Prime Minister in The Brave Little Tailor

*The Chamberlain in The Chinese Nightingale

*The King's Counselor in Drakestail

*Sir Ector in King Arthur

*The Emperor in Princess Moonbeam (the show's adaptation of the Japanese story The Tale of the Bamboo Cutter)

*The Witch's servant Jacques in Jorinda and Joringel

*The mean innkeeper Mr. Schwarz in The Elves and the Shoemaker

*The mean innkeeper Mr. Crafty in The Donkey, the Table, and the Stick

*Thomas, one of the two heroic brothers, in Bluebeard

*The rat-turned-coachman in Cinderella

*The wise old man (and a talking parrot) in Why the Sea is Salt

*The father kings in Sleeping Beauty and The Six Swans

*The Witch's guard dog in Hansel & Gretel (just barking)

The next time I want to listen to a marathon of Let's Pretend episodes – as I sometimes do – I just might have to make some Lucky Charms ice cream or Lucky Charms marshmallow treats to go with it, in honor of Arthur Anderson.

@ariel-seagull-wings

[rhys-ravenfeather]

👏Okay, funny story-from-Rhys’ childhood-time! 👏

So, as a kid, my VERY FIRST experience with Narnia was a passage from one of my English books. At one point in this passage, a character named Eustace expresses disgust at a talking rat or something?

Keep in mind, this was a good few years before Disney’s first Narnia movie came out.

I had never read any of the books before.

I was not a Narnia kid.

I was, however, a Courage the Cowardly Dog kid.

So all I could think of when I read that was crotchety old Eustace Bagge getting grossed out bc of a rat :P

[bohemian-nights]

I think I know why Dumbnyra stans never write down Rhaenyra's lines: they're hella hateful or desilusional.

Rhaenyra hates gay people, smallfolk,POC women and bastards which aren't of hers. *They are vermin. Drunks and fools and gutter rats.*/ *My lord prince husband would never entertain himself with such a low creature*/

No anon those lines are lies spread by the evil green henchmen Septon Eustace. Miss Maegor would never say that. Miss Maegor loves the gays, the Blacks, and the small folk. She’s not a racist.

It’s not like we have any proof that House Targaryen is built on the belief that they are better than everyone else cause they have magic dragon blood and purple eyes and blonde hair. Or that they have to keep the bloodline pure to continue on being super special dragonriders.

It’s not that something like homphobia or classism exists anywhere in the books.

It’s not like the lords ladies and kings of the realm have ever looked down on the small folk. Or like gay people have to hide their

It’s not like we have proof that Missy Anne’s own grandmother was a racist or her descendant, or even her late husbands father called a certain Black girl dirty and ill favored or anything.

It’s therefore impossible for Miss Maegor to have actually said any of those lines cause racism/classim/homophobia doesn’t exist. The Greens are the real racists/homophobes/classists.

[flickys-courage-club]

My Headcanons for Courage The Cowardly Dog:

Courage

Muriel Bagge

Eustace

Computer

Katz

Le Quack

Cajun Fox

Queen of the Black Puddle

Clutching Foot

Weremole

Bunny

Kitty

Freaky Fred

Shirley the Medium

Banana Suit Dealer

General

Lieutenant

Courage's parents

Benton Tarentella

Errol Van Volkheim

Fusilli

King Ramses

Cat Thieves

Charlie the Mouse

Storm Goddess

Duncan

Dr Zalost and Rat

Dr Vindaloo

Goose God

Bigfoot

Hunchback

Ma Bagge

Mad Dog

Cruel Veterinarian

Schwick

Newsman

Di Lung

Duck Brothers

Stitch Sisters

Dr Gerbil

Perfectionist

King of Flan

Space Chicken