#even crowley couldn’t believe his decision

[sort-of-a-hero-that-way]

Good Omens s2 spoilers

Did the almond theory reach tumblr yet?

I'm believing this with my entire soul, there was too much emphasis on the drink order, there was a music switch when The Metatron walks away with Aziraphale and looks at Crowley, there was manipulation felt for the entire interaction.

With the almond syrup restoring Aziraphale's purity, it would explain why he's so adamant for his friend to end up in Heaven again, an establishment he knows Crowley despises. It would explain why he's willing to give up his bookstore and human delicacies because "nothing lasts forever" while we all know how much he treasures his books and materialistic joys. It would perfectly tie back to the flashback introducing us to Aziraphale's gluttony. It would explain why he forgives Crowley for the kiss, forgives him for not seeing the Greater Good of helping people with Heaven and for preferring such human acts.

[denimbex1986]

'...“It’s fun playing bad, but actually he’s not,” the actor says, smiling as he reflects on his character, Crowley. “He’s a villain with a heart. The amount of really evil things he does are vanishingly small.”

...As it always has, “Good Omens” dissects the view of good and evil as absolutes, showing viewers that they are not as separate as we were led to believe growing up. Aziraphale and Crowley’s long-standing union is proof of this. The show also urges people to look at what defines our own humanity. For Tennant — who opted to wear a T-shirt emblazoned with the words “Leave trans kids alone you absolute freaks” during a photocall for Season 2 — these themes are more important now than ever before.

“In this society that we’re currently living in, where polarization seems ever more present, fierce and difficult to navigate. Negotiation feels like a dirty word at times,” he says, earnestly. “This is a show about negotiation. Two extremes finding common ground and making their world a better place through it. Making life easier, kinder and better. If that’s the sort of super objective of the show, then I can’t think of anything more timely, relevant or apt for the rather fractious times we’re living in.”

“Good Omens” is back by popular demand for another season. How does it feel?

It’s lovely. Whenever you send something out into the world, you never quite know how it will land. Especially with this, because it was this beloved book that existed, and that creates an extra tension that you might break some dreams. But it really exploded. I guess we were helped by the fact that we had Neil Gaiman with us, so you couldn’t really quibble too much with the decisions that were being made. The reception was, and continues to be, overwhelming.

Now that you’re no longer bound by the original material that people did, perhaps, feel a sense of ownership over, does the new content for Season 2 come with a sense of freedom for you? This is uncharted territory, of sorts.

That’s an interesting point. I didn’t know the book when I got the script. It was only after that I discovered the worlds of passion that this book had incited. Because I came to it that way, perhaps it was easier. I found liberation from that, to an extent. For me, it was always a character that existed in a script. At first, I didn’t have that extra baggage of expectation, but I acquired it in the run-up to Season 1 being released… the sense that suddenly we were carrying a ming vase across a minefield.

In Season 2, we still have Neil and we also have some of the ideas that he and Terry had discussed. During the filming of the first one, Neil would drop little hints about the notions they had for a prospective sequel, the title of which would have been “668: The Neighbour of the Beast,” which is a pretty solid gag to base a book around. Indeed there were elements like Gabriel and the Angels, who don’t feature in the book, that were going to feature in a sequel. They were brought forward into Season 1. So, even in the new episodes, we’re not entirely leaving behind the Terry Pratchett-ness of it all.

It’s great to see yourself and Michael Sheen reunited on screen as these characters. Fans will have also watched you pair up for Season 3 of “Staged.” You’re quite the dynamic duo. What do you think is the magic ingredient that makes the two of you such a good match?

It’s a slightly alchemical thing. We knew each other in passing before, but not well. We were in a film together [“Bright Young Things,” 1993] but we’d never shared a scene. It was a bit of a roll of the dice when we turned up at the read-through for “Good Omens.” I think a lot comes from the writing, as we were both given some pretty juicy material to work with. Those characters are beloved for a reason because there’s something magical about them and the way they complete each other. Also, I think we’re quite similar actors in the way we like to work and how we bounce off each other.

Does the shorthand and trust the two of you have built up now enable you to take more risks on-screen?

Yes, probably. I suppose the more you know someone, the more you trust someone. You don’t have to worry about how an idea might be received and you can help each other out with a more honest opinion than might be the case if you were, you know, dancing around each other’s nervous egos. Enjoying being in someone’s orbit and company is a positive experience. It makes going to work feel pleasant, productive, and creative. The more creative you can be, the better the work is. I don’t think it’s necessarily a given that an off-screen relationship will feed into an on-screen one in a positive or negative way. You can play some very intimate moments with someone you barely know. Acting is a peculiar little contract, in that respect. But it’s disproportionately pleasurable going to work when it’s with a mate.

Fans have long discussed the nature of Crowley and Aziraphale’s relationship. In Season 2, we see several of the characters debate whether the two are an item, prompting them to look at their union and decipher what it is. How would you describe their relationship?

They are utterly co-dependent. There’s no one else having the experience that they are having and they’ve only got each other to empathize with. It’s a very specific set of circumstances they’ve been dealt. In this season, we see them way back at the creation of everything. They’ve known each other a long time and they’ve had to rely on each other more and more. They can’t really exist one without the other and are bound together through eternity. Crowley and Aziraphale definitely come at the relationship with different perspectives, in terms of what they’re willing to admit to the relationship being. I don’t think we can entirely interpret it in human terms, I think that’s fair to say.

Yet fans are trying to do just that. Do you view it as beyond romantic or any other labels, in the sense that it’s an eternal force?

It’s lovely [that fans discuss it] but you think, be careful what you wish for. If you’re willing for a relationship to go in a certain way or for characters to end up in some sort of utopian future, then the story is over. Remember what happened to “Moonlighting,” that’s all I’m saying! [Laughs]

Your father-in-law, Peter Davison, and your son, Ty Tennant, play biblical father-and-son duo Job and Ennon in Episode 2. In a Tumblr Q&A, Neil Gaiman said that he didn’t know who Ty’s family was when he cast him. When did you become aware that Ty had auditioned?

I don’t know how that happened. I do a bunch of self-tapes with Ty, but I don’t think I did this one with him because I was out of town filming “Good Omens.” He certainly wasn’t cast before we started shooting. There were two moments during filming where Neil bowled up to me and said, “Guess, who we’ve cast?” Ty definitely auditioned and, as I understand it, they would tell me, he was the best. I certainly imagine he could only possibly have been the best person for the job. He is really good in it, so I don’t doubt that’s true. And then my father-in-law showed up, as well, which was another delicious treat. In the same episode and the same family! It was pretty weird. I have worked with both of them on other projects, but never altogether.

There’s a “Doctor Who” cameo, of sorts, in Episode 5, when Aziraphale uses a rare annual about the series as a bartering tool. In reality, you’ll be reprising your Time Lord role on screen later this year in three special episodes to mark the 60th anniversary. Did you always feel you’d return to “Doctor Who” at some point?

There’s a precedent for people who have been in the series to return for a multi-doctor show, which is lovely. I did it myself for the 50th anniversary in 2013, and I had a wonderful time with Matt [Smith]. Then, to have John Hurt with us, as well, was a little treat. But I certainly would never have imagined that I’d be back in “Doctor Who” full-time, as it were, and sort of back doing the same job I did all those years ago. It was like being given this delightful, surprise present. Russell T Davies was back as showrunner, Catherine Tate [former on-screen companion] was back, and it was sort of like the last decade and a half hadn’t happened.

Going forward, Ncuti Gatwa will be taking over as the new Doctor. Have you given him any advice while passing the baton?

Oh God, what a force of nature. I’ve caught a little bit of him at work and it’s pretty exciting. I mean, what advice would you give someone? You can see Ncuti has so much talent and energy. He’s so inspired and charismatic. The thing about something like this is: it’s the peripherals, it’s not the job. It’s the other stuff that comes with it, that I didn’t see coming. It’s a show that has so much focus and enthusiasm on it. It’s not like Ncuti hasn’t been in a massive Netflix series [“Sex Education,”] but “Doctor Who” is on a slightly different level. It’s cross-generational, international, and has so much history, that it feels like it belongs to everyone.

To be at the center of the show is wonderful and humbling, but also a bit overwhelming and terrifying. It doesn’t come without some difficulties, such as the immediate loss of anonymity. It takes a bit of getting used to if that’s not been your life up to that point. I was very lucky that when I joined, Billie Piper [who portrayed on-screen companion, Rose] was still there. She’d lived in a glare of publicity since she was 14, so she was a great guide for how to live life under that kind of scrutiny. I owe a degree of sanity to Billie.

Your characters are revered by a few different fandoms. Sci-fi fandoms are especially passionate and loyal. What is it like being on the end of that? I imagine it’s a lot to hold.

Yes, certainly. Having been a fan of “Doctor Who” since I was a tiny kid, you’re aware of how much it means because you’re aware of how much it meant to you. My now father-in-law [who portrayed Doctor Who in the 80s] is someone I used to draw in comic strips when I was a kid. That’s quite peculiar! It’s a difficult balance because on one end, you have to protect your own space, and there aren’t really any lessons in that. That does take a bit of trial and error, to an extent, and it’s something that you’re sometimes having to do quite publicly. But, it is an honor and a privilege, without a doubt. As you’ve said, it means so much to people and you want to be worthy of that. You have to acknowledge that and be careful with it. Some days that’s tough, if you’re not in the mood.

I know you’re returning to the stage later this year to portray Macbeth. You’ve previously voiced the role for BBC Sounds, but how are you feeling about taking on the character in the theater?

I’m really excited about it. It’s been a while since I’ve done Shakespeare. It’s very thrilling but equally — and this analogy probably doesn’t stretch — it’s like when someone prepares for an Olympic event. It does feel like a bit of a mountain and, yeah, you’re daring to set yourself up against some fairly worthy competition from down the years. That’s both the challenge and the horror of doing these types of things. We’ve got a great director, Max Webster, who recently did “Life of Pi.” He’s full of big ideas. It’s going to be exciting, thrilling, and a little bit scary. I’m just going to take a deep breath.

Before we part ways, let’s discuss the future of “Good Omens.” Gaiman has said that he already has ideas for Season 3, should it happen. If you were to do another season, is there anyone in particular you’d love to work with next time around or anything specific you’d like to see happen for Crowley?

Oh, Neil Gaiman knows exactly where he wants to take it. If you’re working with people like Gaiman, I wouldn’t try to tamper with that creative void. Were he to ask my opinion, that would be a different thing, but I can’t imagine he would. He’s known these characters longer than me and what’s interesting is what he does with them. That’s the bit that I’m desperate to know. I do know where Crowley might end up next, but it would be very wrong if I told you.

[At this point, Tennant picks up a pencil and starts writing on a hotel pad of paper.]

I thought you were going to write it down for me then. Perhaps like a clandestine meeting on a bench in St James’ Park, but instead you’d write the information down and slide it across the table…

I should have done! I was drawing a line, which obviously, psychologically, I was thinking, “Say no more. You’re too tempted to reveal a secret!” It was my subconscious going “Shut the fuck up!”

[vavoom-sorted-art]

SURPRISE! Of Kings and Kids - Bonus Chapter!

Neither @gaiaseyes451 nor I could get enough of this story, so here we are, wrapping up some loose ends and reflecting a bit about the events that went down, along with 5! juicy illustrations in this chapter! Enjoy!

Read on Ao3

*~*~*

Crowley sighed and softened his tone, beseeching him to understand. “Aziraphale, there wasn’t even a real choice here.” He continued to wear tight circles into the grass. “There was no plausible world where you chose the innocents over the Messiah. Hundreds of lives over, eventually, billions? I know you, making that decision would eat at you,” but I’m a demon, I condemn souls regularly. “Even if it was the right choice by Heaven’s standards, there wasn’t a good choice.” So I took the difficult part, so you wouldn’t have to hold the guilt. “I think this is as close to ineffable as you get.”

“That’s deceitful! You came to me under false pretenses!”

Crowley stopped abruptly. “Oh come on, do you really believe that?” Aziraphale’s fists clenched when Crowley spat the words at him.  

“We’ve been working together –” Crowley paused, fluttering his hands in a vague circular motion between the two of them, looking for the right term for this. “Well, not together but, but with each other-”

“Around each other.” Aziraphale was scowling, but couldn’t help but interject. “Orbiting one another, in a way.”

“Yes, exactly!” Crowley strode toward him, “we’ve been orbiting one another for millennia and you still don’t trust me?” He made no effort to disguise his incredulity. “For Satan’s sake, Aziraphale, I helped you with your Messiah. I got a Satan forsaken commendation for the massacre of children and I haven’t said shit about it to keep it a secret- to-!” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “It’s just like you spying on me with the magi. I understand, Aziraphale, I know what I am, but what more can I do to prove you can trust me?” He threw his arms out wide and dropped down onto the boulder, exasperated.

Across from him, Aziraphale seemed to be wrestling with his thoughts. “A commendation? Hell gave you a commendation for the massacre?” Crowley kept silent and listened as Aziraphale stammered half-formed thoughts.  “I know – even Hell must know how you are with children – you would never – why would they….” 

Understanding crept across Aziraphale’s face and he refocused his eyes on Crowley. “They suspected,” he whispered, his anger smothered by the weight of the risk Crowley had taken. 

Crowley made no reply, keeping his eyes stubbornly focused on the fields. Aziraphale sat on the boulder next to him. As Crowley stared at nothing he could feel Aziraphale’s eyes on him, after a few moments a timid question broke the silence.

“Did you use any miracles on the magi, that night?”

Crowley jerked his head to look at Aziraphale. He had expected any number of questions about what Hell had wanted to know, why he’d accepted the commendation, maybe even a bit of sympathy. The question about the magi, about his methods was deeply personal, an unspoken boundary. “...What?”

Aziraphale, to his credit, didn’t look away. “Just answer the question, please.” Crowley narrowed his eyes behind the lenses. Aziraphale had never been present to witness Crowley at work, at least as far as he knew. While he did take a certain amount of pride in his skills he didn’t like talking about them – especially with Aziraphale – but now he didn’t feel he had a choice. Well, here we go.

Read full Chapter

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Thanks for reading! Signing off!

and thanks to @goodomensafterdark for the support!

[gaiaseyes451]

Surprise! Of Kings and Kids - Epilogue

The lovely @vavoom-sorted-art and I simply weren't ready to end Of Kings and Kids so we took some time over the end of the year to add an Epilogue! Come over to AO3 to catch up with our ineffables a few years after Christ's birth and to see more, beautiful illustrations!

Again, a huge thanks to everyone for the excitement around this project. Happy New Year!

----

Excerpt from the Epilogue: Continue Reading on AO3

Crowley sighed and softened his tone, beseeching him to understand. “Aziraphale, there wasn’t even a real choice here.” He continued to wear tight circles into the grass. “There was no plausible world where you chose the innocents over the Messiah. Hundreds of lives over, eventually, billions? I know you, making that decision would eat at you,” but I’m a demon, I condemn souls regularly. “Even if it was the right choice by Heaven’s standards, there wasn’t a good choice.” So I took the difficult part, so you wouldn’t have to hold the guilt. “I think this is as close to ineffable as you get.”

“That’s deceitful! You came to me under false pretenses!”

Crowley stopped abruptly. “Oh come on, do you really believe that?” Aziraphale’s fists clenched when Crowley spat the words at him.  

“We’ve been working together –” Crowley paused, fluttering his hands in a vague circular motion between the two of them, looking for the right term for this. “Well, not together but, but with each other-”

“Around each other.” Aziraphale was scowling, but couldn’t help but interject. “Orbiting one another, in a way.”

“Yes, exactly!” Crowley strode toward him, “we’ve been orbiting one another for millennia and you still don’t trust me?” He made no effort to disguise his incredulity. “For Satan’s sake, Aziraphale, I helped you with your Messiah. I got a Satan forsaken commendation for the massacre of children and I haven’t said shit about it to keep it a secret- to-!” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “It’s just like you spying on me with the magi. I understand, Aziraphale, I know what I am, but what more can I do to prove you can trust me?” He threw his arms out wide and dropped down onto the boulder, exasperated.

Across from him, Aziraphale seemed to be wrestling with his thoughts. “A commendation? Hell gave you a commendation for the massacre?” Crowley kept silent and listened as Aziraphale stammered half-formed thoughts.  “I know – even Hell must know how you are with children – you would never – why would they….” 

Understanding crept across Aziraphale’s face and he refocused his eyes on Crowley. “They suspected,” he whispered, his anger smothered by the weight of the risk Crowley had taken. 

Crowley made no reply, keeping his eyes stubbornly focused on the fields. Aziraphale sat on the boulder next to him. As Crowley stared at nothing he could feel Aziraphale’s eyes on him, after a few moments a timid question broke the silence.

“Did you use any miracles on the magi, that night?”

Crowley jerked his head to look at Aziraphale. He had expected any number of questions about what Hell had wanted to know, why he’d accepted the commendation, maybe even a bit of sympathy. The question about the magi, about his methods was deeply personal, an unspoken boundary. “...What?”

Aziraphale, to his credit, didn’t look away. “Just answer the question, please.”

Crowley narrowed his eyes behind the lenses. Aziraphale had never been present to witness Crowley at work, at least as far as he knew. While he did take a certain amount of pride in his skills he didn’t like talking about them – especially with Aziraphale – but now he didn’t feel he had a choice. Well, here we go.

*~*~*

A huge thank you to @goodomensafterdark for supporting this collaboration and a special thanks to @sohoscribblers

[grace-below]

There’s a line in one of my favorite book series (Shadowhunters) that says something along the lines of:

“Is it really love to tell someone that if it came down to choosing between them and the rest of the world, you’d choose them?” (Paraphrased bc I read that book so long ago)

That line is the reason why I will NEVER put the blame on Aziraphale for what happened at the end of S2. It demonstrated Crowley and Aziraphale’s outlooks on everything flawlessly. Crowley tried to do things the “good way”. They cast him out, though, for nothing more than asking questions. So he decided to live for himself after that. And Aziraphale has lived for himself since the beginning, but justifies everything with “no this can be good, too”. And both of them have demonstrated, even if they won’t ever admit it, that they would do literally anything for each other. Except for giving up on what they believe in.

Crowley believes in living his way. Aziraphale believes in living for the world. When they were both asked to choose between the two of them and literally everyone else? Can anyone really be surprised that they made the choices they did? And I don’t blame either of them for their decisions. Crowley chose them, because to him, that is the world. Aziraphale chose the world because he truly believes he can make things better, and he can. And if he can make things better for everyone, he’ll be making things better for CROWLEY.

So, yes, all of us wish that Aziraphale would have chosen Crowley (even though he did, in a very justifiable way) but he couldn’t. And he made the RIGHT DECISION. He was given the choice between what he wanted and what has the potential to save literally everyone, and he chose to take the hard path. He chose the world. And I think Aziraphale understands that. Would he ever let himself be happy if he knew he had the chance to make things right, and gave all of it up for one being, even if said being is what he loves most in the world? And would he have ever let himself think of it as love if, when given the choice between Crowley and the world, he chose wrong?

[dyns33]

Antichristmas

A Sandman / Good Omens crossover, with Dream x reader of course 

Merry Christmas and Happy Yule !

When Morpheus had met Y/N, he had felt that there was something special about her, but he had been unable to say what.

Maybe her soft laugh, her beaming smile, her clever mind. At first, after being unable not to think of her for several days, he had called Desire, to check that it was not one of their games to torment him.

But no, Y/N was simply a human that he liked, who charmed him even more after he invited her to his kingdom and that she got along with all his subjects. But it was against the rules for an Endless to associate with a mortal, so Morpheus had made the wise decision to have the happiness of her company only as a friend.

He didn't tell her right away who he was, what he was, afraid that she wouldn't want to see him anymore, but he was pleasantly surprised to receive a smile when he confessed the truth to her. He loved her even more then, suffering from not being able to confess his feelings to her.

           "I don't see why you two couldn't be together, boss."

           "Quiet, Matthew." Lucienne mumbled, trying to scare the raven away. "Those are the rules, Lord Morpheus has no choice."

           "It's stupid, he loves her, and I think she loves him too, I don't see where the harm is."

           "Mervyn, I believe there are still repairs to be done in the west wing of the castle."

           "But he's right, Loosh. It's not fair. Boss, it's not fair. !"

           "Life is unfair." sighed Morpheus as he surveyed his kingdom. "But that's the way it is. I have responsibilities, and I won't put my world, or the waking world, in jeopardy, because of a foolish passion. I've made that mistake once before, I know how that risk of ending."

Dream had a quick thought for Nada. His dear Nada, whom he had loved tenderly and who was now locked up in Hell. Even if he decided to forgive her, he couldn't get her out so easily, especially not after his fight with Lucifer.

Above all, he didn't want such a fate to happen to Y/N. He would not punish her if she pushed him away, he had changed since that time, he himself had been locked up, but if he broke the ban, the Kindly Ones could demand that he send his beloved to the depths of darkness, so that he understands that he had no right to be with her.

He therefore acted reasonably, and one day had the unpleasant surprise of finding Y/N in the company of a demon.

           "Oh. Hello... My lord." the snake demon hissed, lowering his head in front of him, forcing himself to smile while turning to Y/N.

           "Morpheus, this is my uncle Crowley. Well, he's not really my uncle, but I've known him since I was born."

           "Please tell me your "dear new dreamy friend" is not in front of me right now."

           "Don't growl, Uncle Crowley. No need to be anxious. Like about next week."

           "It's perfectly normal for me to be nervous about next week. This holiday... It's ridiculous. Even you should find it ridiculous. Christmas... I forbid you to celebrate it !"

           "That would be ironic and petty of me." Y/N sneered, kissing the demon on the cheek, before taking Morpheus' hand, to guide him down the street, to the cinema where they had a friendly date.

This was the first sign that greatly disturbed the master of dreams and nightmares, convinced that Lucifer was going to try to attack him by attacking Y/N.

The second sign came very quickly, when he was invited to his friend's house a few days later. As he stood in the entrance, he came face to face with a hellhound, a repulsive, dangerous, evil beast.

Except that Y/N didn't seem to see what he was seeing, kneeling beside the creature to hug it, while it was licking her face.

           "Hello, little pooch. Yes, I've missed you too. You've been good ? This is Morpheus, my friend. You're nice to him, okay ?"

           "... Where did you find that... thing ?"

           "Dog ? He was the one who found me. It's been a while now, he's not very young, but he's really adorable. Crowley keeps him from time to time. My other uncle doesn't like him a lot. I can't blame him for that, Dog can be complicated."

A third sign not seeming necessary, Morpheus took the decision to intervene directly in order to avoid a catastrophe.

Of course, if he didn't want to start a war, he couldn't destroy the demon or destroy the hound, so he locked the animal in a nightmare, and he calmly went to order this Crowley to stay away from Y/N if he didn't want to get in trouble.

Contrary to what he had thought, the young woman was not really grateful when she learned what he had done.

           "Uncle Crowley called me to say that you threatened him, and took my dog ! And before you went and yelled at him, you said he couldn't come near me anymore, you didn't mention the phones, so you have no right to blame him !"

           "Y/N, you have to understand, he's a demon. He's dangerous. And your dog isn't a dog, he's a hound from hell. I think they're trying to harm me in hurting you, and I refuse to let that happen. I'll get you another dog. Christmas is tonight after all."

           "But I don't want another dog ! Look... I get what's going on, and I think it's lovely that you want to protect me, but Dog won't hurt me, and neither will Crowley. Yes, they are demons, but they are nice !"

           "Demons are not nice." he insisted, taking her hand, hoping that she would listen to him. "It's in their nature to be evil and cruel. They can't change that, and they don't want to either. They were made that way and nothing can ever change that, they can't be trusted. They need to get them back where they came from as soon as possible."

Again, this didn't seem to have the effect Morpheus was hoping for. Y/N suddenly looked terribly hurt, her eyes filling with tears and she pulled her hand from his before running off.

Thinking that the grip of the infernal forces was already very strong on her, he returned to Crowley's place, where he was surprised to find an angel.

           "Hello, gracious Dream Lord. I'm Aziraphale, a friend of... I know Crowley, a bit. He explained to me that there were some issues between you, him, and Y/N."

           "You know Y/N ?"

           "Of course, she's my niece. We were her godparents at first, but I found the joke a little too offensive after some time."

           "I do not understand." Morpheus said slowly with a threatening voice, his shadow then filling the whole room. "You know there's a demon lurking around an innocent human, and you are not interfering ?"

           "A... Oh damn it. She didn't tell you ? She said she was going to tell you about it, what happened ? I'm sure you did something stupid, you're known for that. Without wanting to offend you."

           "Speak."

           “Y/N is not an innocent human. I mean, yes, she is, but she wasn't supposed to be. She is... the Antichirst. Crowley and I had been tasked by our respective camps to watch her, but we didn't want the world to be destroyed, nor did we want this lovely child to be unhappy, so we showed her another way, and now, even though she has certain powers, her dog is from hell, and she could still cause the Apocalypse, she's only Y/N, my sweet, lovely Y/N. Please tell me you didn't upset her, or hurt her."

The mistake, or rather the mistakes of Morpheus were all then obvious to him. The christmas jokes. The presence of a hound from hell, like the one who was to join the Antichrist on the day of the end of the world.

And above all, Y/N's sad look, when he said that demons couldn't change. That they were evil, untrustworthy, and had to be cast out. If he thought that of the creatures of hell, what would he think of the Antichrist ? Could he believe she wasn't evil ?

Without taking the time to greet the angel, he used his sand to appear in Y/N's apartment. The poor darling was crying on her couch. She didn't jump when she saw him, wiping away her tears as she stared at him with contempt.

           "What now ?"

           "I spoke with your other uncle."

           "Aziraphale ? And what did you talk about ?"

           "He explained everything to me."

           "Oh. I see. And you came to send me to hell, me, the Adversary, the Beast, who doesn't deserve to live ?"

           "No. No, I came to apologize."

Slowly, Morpheus reached into his long cloak, and stepping into the darkness, he dragged the hound out. The creature growled when he put it on the ground, before seeing its mistress, barking happily as it ran towards her to jump on her lap, licking her face and wagging its tail. Like a real dog, a nice normal dog.

This made Y/N smile, cry a little more, cuddling the animal.

           "I thought... I thought you were in danger. I apologize. I'll also go ask forgiveness from the demon Crowley, for this misunderstanding."

           "I don't know if Uncle Crowley will brag about it for eternity or if he'll be afraid his side will think he's definitely betrayed them." she sneered, before looking sad again. "Dream... About what you said..."

           "I was wrong. It was unfair and cruel."

           "I know. It's fine. Your brother warned me."

           "My brother ?" he asked, raising an eyebrow, surprised that Destiny could have gotten involved in something.

           "Destruction. He came to see me after I didn't cause the Apocalypse. He said it was normal for Destruction to come and talk to the Destroyer of Worlds at least once. He wanted to thank me and congratulate me. He said that my choice reassured him, showing him that he might have taken the right direction, by leaving, even if it had hurt his family and they still did not understand it. He advised me to be patient if I used to meet them, because they could be a bit stupid and judgmental."

Not knowing what to say, Morpheus said nothing. He still found it difficult to talk about his brother and the decision he had made.

It was true that he did not understand.

But that didn't mean he was judging Y/N. He was not unhappy that the world had not been destroyed, and so he was grateful to her that she had not followed the path that Lucifer had wanted for her.

A path that had allowed them to meet. Even though she was his enemy's daughter, she was different. And she wasn't human. And she was in no danger of being sent to hell, where she couldn't be locked up anyway, since she was born to reign there.

           "So... Now that you've apologized and aren't going to curse me, what do we do ?" she asked looking at him with mischievous eyes.

           "I thought we could go for a walk, stargaze, and celebrate Christmas."

           "It's an idea. Although Uncle Crowley will be furious. He says I only have the right to celebrate Antichristmas. Don't sigh, it's his joke, and I think it's not that terrible, whatever Aziraphale thinks about it."

Morpheus sighed anyway, reaching out her hand to help her up and guide her outside. As they were about to leave, he looked up to find a sprig of mistletoe hanging from the door. He looked at Y/N, who had followed his gaze.

           "That's not me." she said quickly looking around. "Nor my uncles."

           "No. I know who did this." Dream muttered seeing Matthew sitting on a tree, proud of himself.

           "Well. I don't celebrate Christmas, but tradition is tradition."

           "Indeed, you always have to respect the rules."

The hound and the raven made little sounds of joy as they kissed, before heading back inside, forgetting about the ride, the stars, Antichristmas and the rest of the universe.

[a-humble-bagel]

 so i finished good omens season 2 a couple days ago and i have a lot of thoughts about the ending, and how i’m not a big fan of the coffee theory. i think that aziraphale’s decision at the end of the season was actually very in-character, and i honestly love how that ending showed a key difference between aziraphale and crowley, so now im going to explain why i think that. 

(this post ended up being about 1,800 words long, so if you don’t feel like reading that much, than just skip to the conclusion/tldr at the end :] )

the last ten minutes of season 2 absolutely ripped my heart out, but i think one of the worst parts is that it honestly feels completely in character for aziraphale because unlike crowley, aziraphale never lost faith in the system. in season 1, for example, he consistently tried to go through the system to try to stop armageddon, even getting to the point where he decided that the archangels were the problem and decided to try to talk to god personally.

crowley, on the other hand, didn’t even think about trying to convince the demons that armageddon was a bad idea, because, unlike aziraphale, he doesn’t believe in the system. to aziraphale, the flaws in the system were individuals like micheal, uriel, and, in season one, gabriel, and never the actual system. it always seemed to him like the archangels were the ones making mistakes, and he always strove to do what he felt was the ‘right’ decision according to his own moral compass. 

@inhonoredglory wrote a really good analysis here that i very very highly recommend reading, but to summarize, @inhonoredglory talks about how crowley was the one who helped aziraphale learn that he doesn’t have to follow heaven’s command and to do what his heart deems is right, even if it feels like he’s breaking the rule, and how aziraphale isn’t blind to heaven’s problems but wants to fix them. he’s never stopped wanting to do good. 

in addition to this, while aziraphale is still trying to be a good angel, crowley has kinda given up on the whole being a demon and making life worse thing. so while neither aziraphale or crowley follow what their respective sides want, they’re doing it in very different ways. aziraphale is doing what he believes an angel should do, not what heaven believes an angel should do, while crowley doesn’t try to do “demonic” things at all anymore, he’s just kinda living life. 

aziraphale wants to do good. crowley wants to live life. those are the two paths and the two different opinions that played a large role in season 2 ending the way it did. it’s a difference the two have always had, but up until this point in the series, those motivations led to them wanting the same thing (stopping armageddon). however, when the metatron offers aziraphale gabriel’s job, suddenly aziraphale’s and crowley’s desires are leading them to two different paths. 

but obviously there’s a lot more to their relationship than that. i mean the whole series revolves around how much aziraphale and crowley love each other. like @inhonoredglory said, it was crowley who showed aziraphale that he could defy heaven and that it was better to do what his heart said than what the archangels told him. they clearly both love each other so much, even if neither of them are actually willing to say it. that’s why i think that, as tempted as he was, aziraphale wasn’t originally going to accept the metatron’s offer because he couldn’t just leave crowley, but after the metatron said that he could make crowley an angel again, well,

it was basically all aziraphale wanted wrapped up in one thing. he would be able to do real good and make a change and fix all those problems in heaven, and he’d be able to do it with crowley there with him! it was like a dream come true! it’s tricky to remember since we all (or most of us at least, including me) think of this as them breaking up, but it’s important to remember that neither crowley nor aziraphale actually wanted to leave each other. they were both asking the other to stay with them. i mean aziraphale literally says that he needs crowley.

but with all that, why would aziraphale still end up choosing heaven over crowley if he was really acting of his own volition?

im gonna get to that in a minute, but first let’s take a minute to talk about crowley..

now i’ve been talking a lot about how crowley doesn’t believe in the system anymore, but let’s go into the details now. the opening to the entire season shows crowley basically creating the stars and space and more or less the universe, and then his disappointment at the fact that most of his work won’t even get to be appreciated. he’s clearly upset and plans to ask god about it, assuming he can’t get into trouble for asking a few questions which we know from season one is how he got kicked out of heaven, so it’s very probable that he questioned god, disagreed with god, got kicked out and didn’t seem to care about being “good”.

aziraphale questions whether what heaven is doing is right, where as crowley just questioned god. so, crowley got kicked out because he questioned the system (god) and was met with an “i’m right, you’re wrong” attitude. after all that, why would he trust the system? why would he believe that heaven could be reformed if he’s seen some of the worst stuff it could do? why would he ever want to be an angel again when the first time around, he put all his love and effort into something only for it to be underappreciated, and when he dared to ask otherwise he got kicked out?

also, when he snuck up to heaven, crowley discovered why gabriel went down to earth (or part of it at last). gabriel said no to armageddon 2, he defied the will of the archangels and the metatron (and we assume god as well), and for that he was going to lose all of his power. he only had power as long as he agreed with everyone else, and when he disagreed all of that power was taken away, just like it had been taken away from crowley.

so, as far as crowley sees it. heaven is broken and corrupt and unfixable, and the only way he’s able to do what he likes is without both heaven and hell. after all, that’s all he’s wanted, to be able to do what he wants. he wanted his creation of space to be allowed to develop, he wanted to be left alone by heaven and hell, he wants aziraphale to be there with him. so, to crowley, aziraphale saying he wanted to take over heaven and make crowley and angel again would have seemed like the worst possible thing in the world. being an angel in heaven would take away almost everything he wants, except aziraphale. 

so, we have crowley, who needs aziraphale, and needs freedom from heaven and hell, and we have aziraphale who needs crowley, and who needs to be able to do good. now, let’s quickly talk about the metatron’s offer before we get back to aziraphale’s decision. now, when the metatron is talking with aziraphale, it’s clear that at first aziraphale is just being polite. he clearly wants to get away and go back to crowley, until the metatron mentions crowley. even after that, aziraphale still seems very conflicted.

i’d also like to point out that while i don’t believe the coffee theory, the metatron is definetly manipulating aziraphale, he just doesn’t need any magic to do it. the metatron goes out of his way to seem approachable and just like aziraphale (by getting him human coffee), the smile drops from his face and ominous music plays as he and aziraphale leave the bookshop, and, even though he tells aziraphale to ‘take all the time [he] needs’, he’s right back to ask him if he’s made up his mind after only a few short minutes, after he sees crowley storm out. not to mention, the metatron definetly knows more than he lets on, he mentions that crowley was always “asking damn fool questions” which we can assume are the questions about space that got him thrown out of heaven. 

@halemerry​ wrote a really good analysis of the metatron’s manipulation here that goes into a lot more detail than what i just said and i’d really reccomend reading it.

so now aziraphale has to choose between doing what his heart says is the “right” thing to do, and what his heart desires (crowley), and he’s being pressured and mainpulated by the metatron into choosing the first option. now, throughout the series, he’s often conflicted on whether or not he should do what feels right, and crowley has helped him learn that it’s better for him to do what seems good to him. it’s just that in the past that always aligned with him and crowley working together.

and so, no matter how much it’s hurting him, aziraphale chooses to go up to heaven because now he can finally do good. he feels that it’s what he has to do, no matter how painful it is. and when he hears about “the second coming” his determination grows. he has to be up there, someone has to keep things in line, someone has to fix the system. but, what about the smile? why would he smile? well for the same reason he smiled in the bookshop just before he left:

and the same reason he smiled before getting in the elevator:

he’s putting on a brave face. i mean moments before he smiled in the elevator he looked like he was on the verge of tears, but now he’s smiling and trying to pretend as though nothing is wrong.

and that is why aziraphale choosing to go to heaven is in character. because he’s always believed that the problem was the people in the system, not the system itself, because crowley helped him learn to do what he feels is right regardless of his own personal comfort with that, because he doesn’t have the context crowley does of knowing what it’s like to be a high level angel and knowing what exactly got gabriel punished, and because, yes, he is being manipulated by the metatron, but all the metatron needs are words, not coffee. 

tldr: aziraphale would choose to go to heaven because he thinks he can fix it, he doesn’t have the context crowley does, the metatron is manipulating him (but not with magic), and he’s learned (through crowley) to do what he feels is right regardless of how uncomfortable it makes him feel. it’s just that in this case, the thing that will let him do the most good is leaving crowley

[that-one-enby-ranger]

Dawn

Day 1 of the Ranger Gathering 2024 - Dawn

Gilan had decided to get up early, before Halt, so he could go outside, sit on the front porch to the cabin and watch the sun rise behind the hills in the distance. It was cold, but with his cloak wrapped around his shoulders, and his arms wrapped around his legs, he had a way to keep warm.

To say Gilan was nervous was an understatement. Today Crowley was due to come to the cabin and replace Gilan’s bronze oak leaf with a silver one. Today Crowley was due to the cabin to appoint Gilan an official Ranger. Today Gilan was graduating. 

Almost as soon as Gilan had been apprenticed to Halt, he had been excited for the day where he could have his own fief and be independent while he helped the kingdom. But during the past few months, as his graduation day came closer, he became more and more nervous. And the more nervous he got, the more he felt he wasn’t good enough to be on his own.

Realistically, he knew it was just his head and nerves messing with him. But no matter how many times he told himself that it would be fine, he couldn’t believe it. He was good, more than good, he knew that, sometimes he had even thought himself better than some of the other apprentices. But compared to the other rangers, he felt small. Compared to the other rangers, most of whom had years of experience, he would be just as skilled as a first year apprentice. 

His leg was bouncing up and down with nerves. He continued to stare straight ahead at the hills, waiting for the sun to come up and get rid of the last bit of night left. As he stared, he felt tears starting to prick at his eyes. Tears from the fear of being by himself, having to make his own decisions, and not having Halt nearby to help him out with everything.

Just as a tear rolled down his cheek, flutters of light began to peak out from behind the silhouetted hills, the sun making herself known. Gilan watched as a couple more tears ran down his young face. He was going to wipe them away but didn’t, knowing there was noone around but the early morning birds to see him cry. Plus, he thought to himself, there was only one other person in the cabin, and Gilan didn’t care if Halt saw him cry. He knew his mentor wouldn’t judge.

The heat of the sun warmed his face and dried up some of the old tears, although it didn't stop some new ones from falling. 

A few more minutes passed, and as the sun lit up more of the landscape, he felt his spirits lift a little more. He felt renewed in a way. And while he could still feel the tears tracking their way down his face, he started to feel a little less sad. The sun seemed to be lifting his spirits. That little fact was the thing that fully convinced him that it was all in his head. He would be fine. In his experience, even when mistakes were made, and things went wrong, most of the time things had a way of sorting themselves out. Everything would be fine.

And this time, Gilan believed it.

[thedemonastrophel]

Aaa quick one shot that doesen't fit into a story but I wanted to post it somewhere other than ao3

-----

“Well Mr. Crowley, it’s time to make a decision, one will be destroyed. Your beloved humans, or your beloved.”

Crowley glared at the hooded figures, practically snarling at them, bearing his pointed teeth.

They knew nothing of what he had with Aziraphale.

They knew nothing of what it was like to be human.

They knew… nothing.

“What are you talking about. ‘Course I choose Aziraphale!”

“Tut tut, not so quickly sir demon. We will give you five minutes to discuss.”

They vanished, and Crowley sat there dumbfounded.

“Wha- what the heaven just happened?!”

Aziraphale looked at him sadly.

“I think.. You and I have some things to discuss.”

He stared at his Angel momentarily, Aziraphale looked at him, and sighed.

“Do you remember the first day you came into my bookshop? The first day when you put your glasses down, and you spotted a book on my desk.”

“Aziraphale-”

“No. No, let me finish.

It wasn’t the first time you had gone to my bookshop, but it was the first day. The first day of the rest of our lives, after armageddon. Do you remember Crowley?”

“I- Aziraphale this is hardly the time for this.” He spat, trying to conceal the bite in his voice.

He was so frustrated but he couldn’t deal with this. Not right now.

“You asked what the book said; you couldn’t read it.”

Aziraphale looked at him, expecting a response.

“This isn’t relevant! Aziraphale now is not the time for this.”

“And… you asked me if I knew what it meant, what it said. I told you I didn’t, that was a lie.

As angelic beings- and don’t try to deny it because you are even if you have fallen -we can understand every language in creation. But not this one.

Did you ever stop? And think? And wonder, why that was?”

Crowley was on the verge of tears now. Aziraphale was surely being stupid. They were moments away from either the destruction of the Angel, or the destruction of the world. This was not the time to be speaking about things like this. Reminiscing.

Aziraphale eyed him.

“When I told you I couldn’t read it, that wasn’t true. I can read it. And I believe it has something to do with the fact that the book was intended for me.

It’s akin to the likes of Agnes Nutter, but far older. Made by something significantly more powerful.

It was written in a language that no one should understand. Not you, not I, nor angel nor demon from Heaven or Hell. No one should be able to comprehend or read that language. Save, for the highest authority.

God Herself wrote that book, at least that’s what I believe. But I could read it. I think that book was intended for me, Crowley.

Why it was I’m not sure, your heart is more pure than mine at this point. There’s no denying it.”

Crowley had given up trying to interrupt him as it clearly would have no impact, opting to let him speak. He was at least a little curious where this was going.

“In that book, on the very last page there was a date, that date was today. Do you want to know what was written underneath the date?”

Crowley shook his head slowly.

“I-”

“It said; ‘On this day, Angel, will be the day that you shalt die.’

I am not meant to survive this. I.. will not make it out of here alive. I can’t- It-”

He stopped, shaking.

Crowley knew what he was going to say, but he continued anyways.

“It’s not me or the world, Crowley. It’s saving the world, or saving no one.

I’m going to die either way, it doesn't matter what you choose.” His voice was cracking.

“Please. Save the Humans. Try- try to move on if you can I- I know it will be difficult.

I believe in you, I love you- I'm sorry.”

Crowley’s breath was shaking, barely able to keep it together himself. He just stared at him, tears, at this point were spilling onto his cheeks. Unable to form words, he instead just leaned forward. Gently, cupping Aziraphale’s cheek in his hand, and he kissed him.

It wasn’t like the first time, it wasn’t like any of the times after.

It was sad.

It had thousands of ‘goodbyes’ and ‘I love yous’ burned into its very existence. It had thousands of years of words behind it, all unspoken.

The loudest message, the loudest of all, the one that screamed, desperate to be heard, was the longing, the regret.

They knew they would never see each other again. They knew this was it.

This was the end.

The robed figures reappeared, they looked at him.

“Well demon, what is your answer?”

Crowley stared at them, he stood up straight wiping his eyes, his glasses long discarded at this point. He squared his shoulders and stared at them.

Into the shadowy depths of their hoods. He shuddered, took a breath, and spoke.

Slowly, ever so slowly, letting every word hang heavily in the air.

“I choose-” He swallowed. “I choose neither. I’m not going to sacrifice Aziraphale. But I am going to save the earth. So, out of the options you have given me, neither.

Aziraphale started to panic behind him.

“Crowley you can’t-”

He stopped, whipping around and whispered in a dry voice;

“Aziraphale trust me this one time, I swear to anyone who may be listening. If there was any time for you to trust me now is it, just let me do this.” He turned back around.

The hooded figures regarded him curiously.

“You know the stakes, surely. If you do not choose either, everything will be destroyed. You know this of course, so why. Why are you being foolish Crowley?”

A sharp cold shot through him. He reached his hand out to Aziraphale, holding him, lifting him to his feet.

He held his hand tightly.

“Because” He hissed. “I. Am still. A supreme Archangel. Whether or not I have access to my abilities, I was one once, I still am. You are not above me.

I can save both.”

He turned, Aziraphale’s wings bursting out to join them in this plane of existence, and Crowley’s doing the same.

The white against the black, the dark against the light. The light, the dimming light- his wings were darkening- why were they darkening?! Aziraphale didn’t know.

But Crowley did.

Crowley turned and he kissed him again.

This time it was not longing and regret, it was determination. He knew what he was doing, this was not a kiss of love, this was a kiss of magic.

A miracle in its own rights, not a demonic one, not an angelic one, simply a miracle. Bigger than any he had performed, but he stood there. And he kissed him.

Aziraphale’s wings began to darken. The feathers gradually turned black, black like soot, black like the inky darkness of the night.

And it spread.

It spread from the tops of his wings, down. Down, melting like an inkwell, a pen, a pen that was leaking, dripping, dying.

It spread across his wings, his feathers, his white pristine feathers. He was falling.

He hadn’t done anything necessarily, no, this was intentional. This was Crowley’s doing.

But why?

The hooded figures looked at each other, then they looked at him, questions brimming.

“What exactly do you think that is going to do?”

Crowley stopped. Aziraphale’s wings were dark, as dark as his. He stared at them defiantly, his amber-gold eyes practically glowing. He stared at them.

“I don’t need your help. I’ll save this world on my own, and Aziraphale with it. I will save every single bloody human on this planet- on this damned damned world. I don’t need your help.”

The beings looked at each other from behind their shadows of secrets. They seemed to be considering his words.

“Very well, do as you wish. You do not have much time, but if you think you can save them. Be our guest.”

With that they vanished.

Aziraphale and Crowley were back in the bookshop, both too stunned to speak as they collapsed onto the floor and tried to process what had just happened.

[bamfwizard]

WHOO BOY DO I HAVE SMTH TO SAY ABOUT THE COFFEE THEORY (GO2 SPOILERS lol)

I am a believer in the Coffee Theory. Do I hate Azi? Couldn’t if I was at gunpoint. Do I blame him? Absolutely not. Do I think he’s brainwashed and totally out of control? Nope. Do I think he still is conscious and making decisions based on religious trauma and his heavenly conscience? Yup.

Now, there’s two things I think will happen, and I’m just gonna call em the Basic Path and the Raine Path, and I’ll explain why.

On the Basic Path, pretty much the entire Coffee Theory is true. The Metatron used a combination of miracles and/or almonds (which some speculate have the ability to brainwash) to control Aziraphale and manipulate him into betraying Crowley. I STRONGLY believe that Azi’s words and actions during the final scene were just a smidge to OOC. Not entirely OOC, but odd enough to suggest that he’s being influenced. He just acted too damn cold for someone who was so warm and excited to get away for a moment with Crowley, dance with him, party with him. He turned him away, straight up said “there’s nothing more to say” and let him go.

So I raise you: The Metatron wants Crowley. He’s likely willing to use Azi either as a bargaining force, or if needed, as bait. He’s seen them, and he knows that Crowley depends on Azi to live. He probably knows that sometime soon, Crowley will run back to Azi and apologize and try to mend things, despite his attempts to forget him. God knows what the Metatron could want with him, but as he had security clearance in Heaven and was important enough to be given the gift of creation, I think it’s fair to assume that Crowley was very, very powerful as an Angel. And whatever the Metatron wants won’t be good.

That brings me to the Raine Theory. Y’all TOH fans (I see you depressed gay weirdos) know what I’m about to propose. AZI IS FAKING IT. You can’t tell me with a straight face that him acting off doesn’t feel like Follies at the Coven Day Parade at least a little. So what if The Metatron DID miracle the coffee to be able to control him (maybe if he had miracled Azi directly it would have caused problems so he had to do it indirectly) but Azi used one of those miracle cancelling slips? He’s already demonstrated a great amount of skill in misdirection and even saved his own ass by swapping papers via magic. That last look that Azi has, the solemn and tearful look with his fingers pressed to his lips, screams “I wish I could have returned it”. He looks hopeful and determined in the elevator. He may be convinced that he’s saving Crowley, or that he’ll take down the Metatron with the help of inside forces. And Crowley is probably *sigh* going to intervene and try to help.

I don’t think it’s fair to outright dismiss the Coffee Theory, nor is it fair to outright dismiss Aziraphale’s actions as OOC, because they were heartfelt and followed his moral code. I just wanted to throw my opinion in the fray because I’m REALLY hoping for the Raine Theory to pull through because I can’t get enough of the faking-being-hypnotized trope

[deatmat]

Now that is morning, here’s the episode 6 rant I promised. (go2 spoilers ahead!!)

I woke up this morning to a dozen posts on my dash complaining about Aziraphale and his behavior in the last episode. Many were just screaming, as I can understand, but many were complaints about how out of character his decision was. I’m here to disagree, and please bear with me on this. 

In the previous season, Aziraphale is constantly seen to be the one resisting ‘their own side’. He doesn’t run away - though perhaps this is more out of love for humanity than it is for g*d - he puts up resistance in making the agreement, and he worries a lot about whether he’s doing good or not (garden of Eden for example).

Beyond resisting to carving out a place for himself, he also maintains faith throughout the series that Heaven will pull through and do the right thing. While thwarting Armageddon, he constantly reports back to heaven expecting a pat on the head. It genuinely surprises him when Gabriel and the other angels say they want the end of the world to come. Even after their initial refusal to change plans, he still tries and tries and tries. When all else fails, he go to the Metatron trusting that g*d must be in agreeance that wiping out humans is not the right thing. It is only then, after so many denials and attempts to fix things that Aziraphale finally takes matters into his own hands. Though, it’s important to note he didn’t make this decision for Crowley, but rather for humanity and his care for them (this is apart of his decision in 2x6 I believe so keep this thought in mind). It’s clear he has a lot of conflict around g*d v.s. what’s right, and he wants to think that heaven will eventually come to play into both. 

Now into season 2. Right off the bat we’re faced with the conflict of staying loyal to heaven or not. The moment Aziraphale notices Crowley is leaning even the slightest bit towards disagreeing with g*d, he appears incredibly uncomfortable and abandons his efforts of trying to befriend Crowley, doing his best to actually evade the situation. From the very start of the season, it’s clear who’s on who’s side with Crowley obviously not caring about sides (as always) and only about the circumstances while Aziraphale’s chooses not to question the ineffable plan. 

When the scene is transported back to the present day, our first view of Aziraphale is him helping out Maggie and doing other such good deeds. Crowley makes a comment in the first episode that he’s still performing angelic miracles and helping out humanity. This isn’t a huge detail, but I think it’s interesting to see him still believing in doing the ‘good’ thing. 

Now here’s the part that makes the ending really fit with the rest of the season: the minisodes. Neil Gaiman had mentioned in an answer to asks that the minisodes would all pay out and tie into the ending (I can’t find it but I remember seeing it). I had thought this meant they’d be clues to how Gabriel lost his memories and such, so I spent each minisode/flashback on high alert. Yet, I couldn’t find anything that really made them tie together, beyond similar places being meeting sights for Gabriel and Beelzebub. 

I was looking for the wrong thing. I should have been paying attention to Aziraphale. Very quickly into the second/third episode I knew there was a trend between Aziraphale’s conflicting morals and the flashbacks. My father who’d been watching with me also picked up on this. He seemed to be obsessed with doing the right thing and struggled with going against g*d’s will. By the end of each event though, he would decide to do what he thought was good even if it was against g*d’s plan. 

For example, in the minisode with Jobe (spelling?) he starts off believing that he shouldn’t let the poor man have his life ruined. He triple checks the permits, he argues with the other angles, he tries to come up with reasons why g*d would do this to her favourite human. He looks for loopholes, he finds none. Eventually he thwarts it, going against the will of g*d and her angels for the sake of his own morals. He did what he thought was ‘good’. This is also the time where he decides to become a little like Crowley in his relation to his head office. He is an angel who will go as far as he can with heaven. The rest of the way? That’s up to him ad his morals.

With the graveyard flashback, we see this again. Aziraphale struggles with deciding whats better: letting humanity suffer, or abiding by the laws of g*d and heaven? He balances the scales, and he picks the option he deems helps humanity more and therefore is the good thing to do, even though it goes directly against proper christian burials. This episode we really see Aziraphale going back and forth on his opinions. He screws up a bit, but it works out eventually in some way and he’s left feeling good about himself for helping someone out. There’s another aspect of this episode that I think is great foreshadowing but I’ll leave that for later. 

The zombie episode is a little different, and I can’t find the exact ways this is shown only because that episode is hazy in my memory but I do believe the theme carries over. I do know that the scene with Crowley and Aziraphale drinking together, the whole being a shade of grey detail shows Aziraphale coming to terms with the idea of him doing his own kind of good. 

So the decision comes, he’s meant to choose to do his own kind of good. Of course he’s going to take up the Metatron’s offer. He believes fully that becoming head is the best way he can enforce his own good. He’s against heaven and their rules, and he always tries to do what’s right despite them, but all of that could change is he becomes the one to help make the rules. He can do good and still be right with g*d! This choice he’s been struggling with his whole existence no longer has to be a choice! This is great news! He blindly believes in good, still trusts g*d’s will and sees this as heaven’s chance to pull through. It’s ridiculous and as the viewer we know it’s wrong, but Aziraphale’s character isn’t built to understand that. 

Then, there’s the matter of Crowley. Remember when I said to keep that bit about Aziraphale doing things for humanity and not Crowley in mind? Crowley is undoubtedly Aziraphale’s best friend, but he’s only shown once to do something for him (as far as I can remember at least) and that’s giving him the holy water. Beyond that, Aziraphale makes his decisions for humanity. Yes, becoming supreme archangel means leaving Crowley, but it also means saving humanity and doing what he thinks is ‘good’. He’s going to choose humanity, because he always has, even though we as the audience know this isn’t going to help people as much as he thinks. 

Even if Crowley was apart of his decision - had even a chance at being equally weighed next to humanity -  I don’t think he would choose him. Aziraphale loves him (interpret that as platonic or romantic, it’s still true) and so he wouldn’t want to leave him behind but the Metatron thought of that. He gave him the option to ‘save’ Crowley. He gets to stay with his best friend and do good in the world, this is amazing! Actually, I think Crowley not being an angel is the biggest thing that comes between their relationship, and in Aziraphale’s mind, this fixes that. He’s probably been having a moral dilemma about loving someone he views as inherently bad, but just like how this decision gets rid of his g*d v.s. what’s right debate, this gets rid of that struggle too. 

And yes, Crowley being a demon is actually a problem for Aziraphale. Think about the whole series, both seasons and the book. How many times does Aziraphale say ‘but you’re a demon’ or ‘you’re the demon so you do ‘x’ thing’? He constantly and consistently uses Crowley’s identity to not agree to deals like the arrangement, to try and convince him to do the dirty work like taking care of Adam (’You’re the demon. I’m the nice one. I don’t have to kill children.’), and to put him down (’I’m a great deal holier than thou. That’s the whole point’). In the graveyard scene he make rebuttals that of course Crowley is willing to go along with this because he’s a demon and blah blah. He’s not very fair to him about it. 

So he hates that his friend is demon. He sees being a demon as a punishment. He believes Crowley can be fully good if it weren’t for his demonic nature. When presented with the opportunity to ‘redeem’ and ‘save’ or even ‘relieve his friend from their punishment’, he’s not going to see anything wrong with that. He probably doesn’t understand at all why Crowley would refuse such a thing. Really, he probably thinks of it as a point against Crowley, a reason for him to be ‘bad’. Maybe that’s why he leaves him behind, I don’t know. 

On another note, it’s also important to look at how their relationship has behaved this whole season. They barely talked to each other for one. I think there are only a handful of scenes were they interact positively or even are just in the same room together. This wasn’t a collaboration like with Adam/Warlock. This was them working on two different aspects of the same thing and Crowley not being happy about any of it. He just wants to protect Aziraphale and the life they’ve built; he doesn’t care about heaven or hell, he’s done with those guys and truthfully always has been. Crowley has never cared for sides, he’s always just done what he wanted to. He’s never even tempted Aziraphale to becoming a demon, only got him to do things he found enjoyable and wanted to share like eating food and drinking wine. 

Aziraphale cares about sides though. He cares about morals. He sees Gabriel on his doorstep and knows he must help him out. This causes a bit of a rift between Crowley and Aziraphale, and it’s one of the first times in this season where we see Aziraphale actually tell Crowley what to do. He refuses to budge on helping Gabriel, and it forces Crowley to do so, though he does walk out on him first. See how Aziraphale had to pick between heaven and Crowley on a small scale there and still picked heaven? 

Aziraphale actually is quite bossy this season and ignores Crowley’s wishes the whole time. He pushes to drive the Bentley (I’m not going to go into what I think about him adjusting the Bentley...), he lets Gabriel stick around, he argues with Crowley in both present and flashback scenes, he ignores Crowley’s warnings when he’s trying to tell him about the demons out front. It just felt to so painfully like one sided decisions when watching. I was at unease during the whole of the season. It didn’t feel like the same Aziraphale and Crowley, and I can’t help but wonder if it’s because of Aziraphale’s bias towards doing the right thing. 

Anyways, Aziraphale’s decision to be fill in for Gabriel caused me to scream and cry and yell at my TV about how stupid he was, but it was undoubtedly in character and the set up for it was beautifully done. I mean, it dealt with a lot on struggles from over the season, the relationships were set up for a fallout, the characters are perfectly designed for it, and it’s even mentioned early on that there needs to be a replacement for Gabriel. When I give it a second watch through, I know I’ll probably notice way more but I truly think that Gaiman made an excellent and creative choice and it’s a shame people are trying to bash on it saying this isn’t ‘their Aziraphale’. Characters are flawed, and sometimes those flaws are also their strengths, but it’s unfair to expect they aren’t going to do things that piss us off. Aziraphale and Crowley acted as their characters would given their morals and personalities, and I think those same traits will help them resolve things in the next season. 

Maybe I’m looking to much into this - a good old curtains are blue scenario - but regardless, I loved every bit of season 2 and I can’t wait for more. 

[depression-crowley]

listen, I love the coffee theory as like a fun fan theory. it’s reminiscent of jonlock back in the day (though I believe food being sex is quite apparent in good omens, esp season 2). but, you have to see that Aziraphale leaving Earth for the leadership of heaven is pretty in character.

the entirety of season one is convincing Aziraphale to stay and fight for Earth. Crowley fights tooth and nail to get Aziraphale to understand that earth is worth fighting for. Crowley understands the ramifications of the “end of the world”. and Aziraphale gets that, but he still views Heaven as the good guys.

I think Aziraphale believes that the problems in Heaven lie not with the religion but the leadership. Gabriel and Michael were the issue, the angels in charge were the issue. But God is good. And God would never want those angels in charge to act like that, right? And remember, Heaven never kills anyone. They just don’t stop Hell.

God would want what’s best for humanity…right?

Now, maybe that’s true? Maybe Aziraphale’s naïveté will actually be right and show that he’s not making a decision that destroyed not only his situationship with a demon, but the entirety of his life on earth. We don’t know God. We’ve heard her voice in the first season, but she doesn’t speak anymore.

But, with Crowley’s reaction, I would have to say that it doesn’t seem as true. Crowley knows there’s a fundamental problem. He couldn’t even question the will of God, couldn’t question anything, and thusly was “terminated”.

Crowley’s willing to give up everything for his angel. His plants, his car, his world, and Aziraphale would never do something like that back. Aziraphale never gave up that Heaven is good. He would never abandon all that he knows for Crowley. He would never give up Heaven for Crowley. And that’s why this needs to happen.

Crowley will drop everything, go off to a star system, never talk to Hell ever again. He doesn’t believe in good guys or bad guys. He doesn’t care. He just wants Aziraphale. That’s all he needs to continue.

Aziraphale needs to be good. Has to be good. He will ruin people’s lives for “the greater good”, not seeing the flaw in his ways until it is too late. He cannot give that up for Crowley. He will lie to Heaven, but only because he believes he is doing good. And Crowley is capable of being good, so he’s alright in Aziraphale’s eyes.

Aziraphale will only give up the bookshop for Heaven. And to get Crowley to the “good side”. But he would never run off if Crowley asked.

So, this whole ending needs to happen. Whether it’s to prove God is good or Crowley’s right, or maybe they are both correct, who knows? God works in “mysterious ways”

any way, just needed to rant a lil about them cause i have so many feelings. feel free to disagree or agree.

[doonarose]

I’m 90% sure Crowley wilfully, consciously, and with enormous risk, exposed his true self to Aziraphale during the whole Job incident and the other 10% of my thinking is that he did it unconsciously. It being a genuine woopsie makes no sense. Because he’s clearly a decently powerful demon with decently important demon tasks to go about. Taking care of the Job business was a Big Deal, but I presume it took even more power to hide the fact that the goats were just ravens and he did it flawlessly, because at the very end of that scene, you can hear the ravens cawing as they fly away. Transformation complete.

But then they’re bleating in the scene where Aziraphale discovers them. Admittedly, they’re bleating before Aziraphale is even there, and perhaps this means Crowley wanted them to remain part of their original form, or he has a soft spot for goats, who knows.

But Crowley, with his power, could have changed that within the blink of an eye when Aziraphale turned up, or even after the very first one – if we imagine he forgot and it was entirely an accident that the first bleat in front of Aziraphale occurred – he could have reverted to the cawing and gaslit the angel into ignoring it. Instead, in the scene and the one that follows, he very much does the opposite, he leans into being found out, he encourages it. There are suddenly quite a lot of goat sounds. I reckon he enables it and gives Aziraphale the opportunity, the chance, to know, with the bleating.

Except, importantly, Aziraphale would only hear it and then needle at it and hope if there was already hope, if he already believed Crowley was capable of doing the right thing. And while Crowley couldn’t just come out and say he was trying to do the right thing (4500 years later…), he allowed for a glimpse of it and Aziraphale whole-heartedly believing – Oh, there are those goats that Crowley definitely didn’t kill – meant he was trustworthy and could be let in on the secret. Again, at huge risk to Crowley, after 1500 years of being utterly alone with his struggle, here was an ally. Unfortunately, that then meant Crowley had corrupted the Angel, going on any angelic or religious definition of corruption, and Aziraphale’s fall was inevitable. Which leads into them colluding to save Job’s children, and ultimately with Aziraphale having to lie the way he did. And then 4500 more years of that. And if Crowley reported any of it, yes Aziraphale would qualify as a fallen angel and we see that that’s how everyone in heaven thinks when he’s ready to go off to hell. But Crowley doesn’t report him, because his intent was never corruption, and, it turns out, God either doesn’t know or doesn’t care. But it sets Crowley up with a lot of guilt that, weirdly, Aziraphale is unaware and quite immune to.

But anyway, I think Crowley made a conscious, desperate decision to present Aziraphale an apple of knowing him, at great risk and detriment to both of them, and he has always felt guilty about it but also he must have been so, so desperate to do it in the first place.  

[minefield-of-a-ninja]

28 DAYS: CHAPTER SEVEN

Summary: Dean Winchester is an addict and an alcoholic, a USMC veteran, a father, and an older brother. As Battalion Chief with Lawrence Fire & Medical, Dean comes under investigation when he makes a dangerous and impulsive decision, defying his superiors and abandoning the team he is supposed to lead. He is given a choice to go to rehab for 28 days or jail. His lawyer insists on rehab, and Dean begrudgingly abides.

Chapter warnings/tags: mentions of underage sex work

Words in this chapter: 3,100

Author’s notes: Allegedly, the Dean v. Dean scene from “Dream A Little Dream Of Me” was supposed to be John v. Dean but JDM couldn’t make the schedule work. That got me thinking about how else I could use that pivotal scene in this AU. You’ll see that scene sort of sprinkled throughout this chapter.

Thanks for your patience as I adjust to my new work schedule. I have the next two chapters as well — they just need some marinating and beta-ing.

Many thanks to @brrose-apothecary and @stusbunker for pre-reads and for being my friends.

CHAPTER SEVEN

“I do hope he makes it.” Rowena waves as she, Gabe, Dean, and Meg watch Crowley make his way to the exit.

Crowley turns before walking out the door, tossing Rowena a nod before flipping two backward Peace signs to either side of her, effectively telling Dean, Gabe, and Meg to fuck themselves.

“Rude,” Meg murmurs into her coffee as Gabe wraps an arm around Rowena’s slight shoulders.

“Ya know, Ro, statistically, only three-tenths of us make it,” Gabe says. “So it’s better for us if he doesn’t.” 

Meg does a spit take of coffee while Dean barely keeps his own in his mouth to swallow. “Fuckin’ savage, Gabe,” Dean chuckles, slapping Meg on the back. “Breathe through it, sweetheart.”

“That smarmy dick — affectionate,” Gabe pretends to assure Rowena that the insult is meant with the best of intentions, “deserves the very best.” 

Rowena turns and sniffles into Gabe’s embrace.

There’s a lot of affection within their small group. Dean’s stopped questioning the fraternizing rule, though, because Meg does wonders for the tension in his neck and shoulders with her tiny little hands.

“I’m gonna hit the gym. Anybody wanna join? Dean-o?” Meg tosses her empty cup in the garbage before arching and stretching to make her spine pop and crack.

Part of his recovery from addiction and his injuries is structured and supervised exercises. It’s done nothing for his persistent hard-on, but it helps with boredom, anger, and the satisfaction of succeeding at something, even if it’s not much.

Dean turns his back on Gabe and Rowena’s canoodling. “Sounds good. What time?”

“Ten?” Meg claps her hands together enthusiastically. 

“Yep,” Dean answers, dumping his cup into the trash before they go their separate ways — Meg to the women’s sleeping quarters and Dean to the men’s.

It’s been 10 days since the fire. It feels like weeks to Dean. He read once that it takes 21 days to create a habit and 90 to make it stick. He always thought that seemed arbitrary, but he’s starting to believe it because his day-to-day here is quickly becoming routine.  

When he gets to his room, he finds Jack in bed with Red Hood Arsenal Vol. 1, covered in candy wrappers.

Dean arches a brow as he yanks his drawer open. “You ever get outta bed this mornin’?”

“Not really feeling social today,” Jack murmurs, gnawing on a piece of chocolate and nougat. 

Dean digs around for a pair of basketball shorts and a t-shirt for the gym. “Well, ya should eat somethin’ real before they close the kitchen.”

He shoves the drawer closed before turning to face his roommate.

Jack keeps his eyes on his comic as he replies. “You’ve only been wearing that sign for a day. Have you already forgotten my eating habits are none of your business?”

Dean drops his eyes to the sign around his neck as he tongues the back of his teeth before roughly grinding them.

“Nope. Haven’t forgotten.” His stomach tightens and flips, and his face starts to heat. “Ya know... I just-”

“Still none of your business.”

Jack’s tone, assertive nature, and blunt words make Dean tense. He wants to yell. Yelling relieves tension for him. Punching things also relieves tension, so Dean decides to keep his mouth shut and get dressed to work out, even if he can only punch with one fist right now.

He passes Billie’s office on his way to the gym. Her door’s open, so he pokes his head inside. “Hey.”

She silently and expectantly looks up from her desk, pen frozen in her hand.

“Just...” Dean juts a thumb over his shoulder as he steps fully into the doorway. “Headed to the gym. Thought I’d say hi.”

Billie raises her eyebrows and chin before nodding. “Well, hi.”

Her less-than-enthused response further agitates him. “Man, I’m just pissin’ everybody off today,” he mutters.

“You’re not pissing me off.” Billie carefully sets her pen aside before pushing her chair away from her desk. “Come in, Dean.”

Dean walks inside, feeling rejected. It’s uncomplicated when he thinks about the reality of the last 15 minutes. These people are practically strangers, Jack’s a 17-year-old kid, and Billie’s a fucking shrink so he shouldn’t give a shit what they think. Yet these perceived slights would’ve sent him straight to a bottle of pills or whiskey and searching for pussy outside these walls.

“Your door was open. I just thought I’d say hi instead of just walkin’ by like you don’t exist.” He walks over to her designated visiting area and takes a seat.

“And that’s very kind of you.” Billie settles in one of her chairs across from him.

“So then why’re you just like ‘hi???’ like I’m annoying you,” he asks.

He fully realizes that he sounds like he’s trying to start a fight, but he does nothing to dial it back.

“You’re not annoying me. I wanted to be sure you didn’t need something first.” She pauses. “Did something happen with Jack or Meg?”

Dean shrugs. “Jack acted like I tried to set his stuffed dragon on fire when I reminded him the kitchen was about to close.”

She isn’t making notes right now, which relieves Dean. “Can you expand on that?” 

“Well, he brought up my stupid-ass sign.” He flicks the sign making it flop against his chest ineffectually.

Billie nods, appearing to also curb a smile of amusement, which lightens his shit mood for some reason. “That’s what the sign’s for, Dean.”

He scoffs. “To repeatedly remind me that I’m a pain in the ass?”

Billie narrows her eyes and sighs. “No. The signs serve many purposes, none of which are to remind you that you’re a pain in the ass. They help maintain boundaries and remind everyone to focus on themselves and their own recovery.”

Dean chews the inside of his cheek. “So, if the 17-year-old kid I’m rooming with starves to death, I’m just supposed to keep my eyes on my own prize.”

He’s being dramatic. He knows he’s being dramatic. It’s a great outlet, though, with the absence of his other sorely missed vices.

“First of all,” Billie begins to count her retorts on her fingers, “Jack isn’t going to starve to death-”

“I’ve never seen him eat anything but candy!” Dean cuts her off with exasperation.

“Dean.” Billie drops her hands in her lap.

“Sorry.”

Expressing his frustrations and regrets isn’t something he’s comfortable doing because he never learned to do it any other way than physically fighting, fucking, or getting wasted. That’s not BIllie’s fault; it’s just facts.

Billie calmly begins again. “He will not starve. Nor will he learn to feed and care for himself adequately if we don’t let him figure that out on his own.”

Dean sighs, looking up at the ceiling. “Can’t save everybody,” he mutters.

“Correct,” Billie answers. “What else?”

“I need to focus on my own recovery.”

“Yes.”

He brings his gaze back to hers. “Sorry for...” He waves his hand in the air as an explanation. “Barging in, whining...”

“No apologies necessary. You aren’t whining, you have questions. Bucking the system demonstrates healthy curiosity.” Billie peers at him above the tent of her fingers. “You know, some might assume, as a Marine Corps veteran raised by a Marine Corps veteran that you’d follow orders without a second thought. But you don’t.” 

Dean stares back quietly. He and Billie have made progress. He trusts her to do what she says she’s there to do. The problem right now is she’s probing a scab he isn’t willing to expose.

“Well, I got people who look to me for answers — my team, my kid.”

Billie nods. “Yes. And you’ve amassed a group of people here who also see you as a leader, and as a natural leader, it’s important to be mindful of your intentions and of the impression you leave on others.”

“When you say it like that, I feel like a fuckin’ asshole.”

Billie shakes her head. “You’re not an asshole. Go to the gym.” She motions to his outfit as she stands. “During our scheduled session this afternoon, we can talk more about that.”

As he gets up and walks to the door, Dean’s chest feels heavy even as his heart spits and sputters.

The gym doesn’t help clear his mind or calm his anxiety. He’s stuck in the spiral of memories from his last argument with John. 

“I’ve been back for five days, Dad, can I just get my bearings before you start-”

“Your brother is leaving, and you won’t lift a finger to stop it. All you’ve done is whine about how you’re gonna miss him when he leaves!”

“He got a full ride.”

“And you’re gonna what, help him pack?! Came back from that war as mindless and obedient as an attack dog — good soldier and nothin’ else.”

That’s fucking rich, coming from John, who only ever treated Dean like a soldier. Dean learned so much more about life and relationships over there than John ever taught him.

“That’s not true.”

“No? What else ya got, then, kid? Your car? That’s mine. Your favorite leather jacket? Mine. Your music? Mine.”

John’s ever-panning searchlight of fury has all but lost Sam and is fully focused on Dean. While Dean doesn’t love being under his dad’s scrutiny, he hopes that his presence buys Sam a few more minutes to get his shit together and get out.

“Your entire fuckin’ personality is me and that kid brother of yours.”

Dean’s slumped against the living room wall with his dad looming over him, red-faced, sweating, and spitting rage.

“You’re fuckin’ obsessed with keeping us here. Sam was built for somethin’ better-”

“I’m obsessed?” John rapidly blinks, clutching his left arm. “How the fuck did you handle not havin’ little Sammy on your heels in Afghanistan? You got nothin’ outside of this family, and you know it.”

“You’re fuckin’ drunk and high.” Dean shakes his head and pushes away from the wall. “You need to sit down.”

“Listen here, you ungrateful little shit-”

“Yell all you want, I’m still leaving!” Sam strides into the living room, hoisting his bag over his shoulder.

Dean takes a step forward, and John takes a step back.

“All that shit you dumped on me about protecting Sam? That was your shit.” He pokes a finger into John’s chest. “You’re the one who couldn’t protect your family, and now that we’re adults with our own fucking lives, you can’t handle it.”

“Keep talkin’, asshole.” John is panting heavily, and his face is turning darker red. “You think you know what it’s like to raise a kid-”

“Yeah! I do!” Dean walks John right back to the couch where John drops to sit. “You were never fucking here for Sam, I always was. All you ever did was train me, boss me around — Daddy’s blunt little instrument — I was never your kid.” 

“Oh, please...” John groans, his words slurring as he squeezes his arm harder and he drops his chin to his chest.

“But Sam... Sam you doted on. And now he’s leaving. Talk about what’re you gonna do now, huh? What’re you gonna do, John?”

“Dean...” Sam’s voice is hollow.

“Geez, what happened to you between finally gettin’ rid of that cranky old queen and now?” Meg asks.

Dean breathes and grits his teeth as he mentally counts his wall push-ups. “It’s a whole thing.”

He doesn’t want to get into John with Meg. Not right now. The thought of getting into his history with his dad at all makes him feel like jumping out the window.

Meg furrows her brow and nods. “You’re too hard on yourself.”

Dean shoots her a look, thinking she’s teasing him. What he finds when he really takes her in, though, is so raw and delicate that he can barely stand to look at her. 

“Yeah, I’m my own worst nightmare.” He completes his wall exercises and eases to the floor for the rest.

“Don’t do that,” Meg says. She stands over him with her hands on her hips.

Dean tosses his hands in the air in surrender. “I’m kidding. OK?” He starts his hip stretches and the pain carries a signal of satisfaction and success to his brain.

“No, you aren’t.”

Dean groans at the stretch. “What’s with you? This is our thing. The self-deprecation thing.”

Meg sighs and drops to the floor beside him to do some of her own exercises. “Dean, you’re one of our 2.1.”

Dean shakes his head. “What?”

“I did the math; three-tenths of seven is 2.1.”

Dean scoffs and rolls his eyes so hard they take his whole body with them. “Are we including Crowley in that seven?” He goes back to carefully lifting and stretching his hips.

“Yeah... better odds for the rest of us that way.” Meg twists her spine so she’s facing Dean with her knees pointing in the opposite direction.

Dean snorts, and Meg chuckles as they watch each other try to get better.

Then her face softens as well as her voice. “You’re gonna make it, Dean. Because you’re a fuckin’ badass.” 

Dean swallows back a lump from trying to form in his throat. 

“You’re here because of a blip.” She rolls her watery eyes. “You are better than this. You’ll come out on the other side stronger because you’re already so strong.”

Dean draws a shallow, shaking breath. “And what about you?” He’s almost afraid to ask, but she doesn’t disappoint.

Meg smirks. “I figured out one thing about this world — just one.” She twists back to lie flat on her back, looking up at the ceiling as she pulls each knee into her chest. “You find a cause, and you serve it. Give yourself over, and it orders your life.”

Dean nods, rolling to his side. “Sex work and heroin didn’t give you the kinda order you wanted?”

Meg chuckles and switches knees. “At one time, my pimp’s mission was it for me. But things change, right? We learn, we grow... Now?” She turns her head to look at him again. “My cause is getting sober.”

Dean purses his lips. “So you and I’re the lucky two?”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

He wishes her insistence that he’s so strong made him feel that way. Instead, he feels like there’s a light shining on his weaknesses. If there was a way for him to be all the good things people claim to know about him and nothing else, maybe he could finally stop hearing his dead dad’s voice in the back of his mind, telling him that he’s worthless. 

“We’ve been here for over an hour.” Meg sighs then rolls away from him, to her side, and up onto her hands and knees. “Let’s go eat and chain-smoke before group.”

She hops to her feet before reaching out a hand to help Dean up. He smiles softly before accepting her offer.

“Do you feel akin to Jack?” Billie asks.

It’s their scheduled session in the afternoon. Dean is exhausted. There’s so much talking and listening and correcting — yourself and others.

“I’m old enough to be the kid’s dad, so I guess? Things’re different than they used to be.” Dean shrugs.

“For who?”

Dean drops his head to the back of the chair and sighs. 

“You’ve had a long day, I know,” Billie says, and Dean rolls his head to the side and peeks at her with one eye. 

“Therapy and recovery aren’t quick and easy.” Billie shakes her head. “If they were, everybody’d do it. Right?”

Dean snorts. “I guess.” He sighs again, this time much less dramatically, then sits up straight in his chair. He clears his throat before moving forward with what he knows he has to talk about.

“Sometimes… we didn’t have what we needed— Sam and I— because Dad was... whatever and wherever, and I did things. For people.”

Billie nods.

Dean is surprised to find her unsurprised by his confession. He thought his juvenile records would be sealed no matter what. Maybe she just knows because she’s a brain doctor.

“I wasn’t a hooker.” 

“OK.”

“I just did what I had to do.”

“I understand.”

“Like the time I stole bread and peanut butter from the 7-Eleven and got thrown into a boys’ home.”

Billie nods.

“And the time I let the PTA president suck my dick for dinner five nights a week for Sam and me.”

Billie narrows her eyes slightly, still listening, still not taking notes.

“Or an extra hundred in cash for clothes for the kid who grew outta mine the second he turned 16 just to let the guy on the corner watch me eat out his wife.”

Dean wipes at his nose and then looks out Billie’s windows. 

“Thank you for telling me, Dean.”

Dean nods and swings his gaze back to Billie. “It’s just... Meg says I’m this badass, gonna pass outta here with flying colors, and Jack... thinks I’m a nag.”

Billie bobs and shakes her head. “No one’s just one thing.”

“Are we having the ‘not everyone is thinking about you all the time’ conversation?”

Billie smiles. “While you were your little brother’s hero, you were someone else’s prey.”

Dean’s jaw tightens, and he looks out the windows again. 

“While your daughter sat broken-hearted on one side of town, you single-handedly carried Cyrus Styne to safety.”

Dean closes his eyes and lets a tear roll down his cheek. “So what’s in between?”

“It’s not about other people’s perceptions.”

Before looking back at her, Dean drags his hand over his face. “Then what’s it about?”

“You had to eat and care for your brother, right?”

Dean nods. “Yeah.”

“What about Emma?”

Dean flicks his gaze up to Billie’s. 

“Do you see a likeness between Emma and the teenage boy you saved from her high school?”

Dean smirks. “Besides the fact that was her high school?”

Billie smiles and nods. “Besides that.”

“You think I’m avoiding her.”

Billie tilts her head. “Are you?”

“Dean. Hi. How are you?”

“Hey, Lydia. I’m... OK. Is Em around? She blocked me on her phone. I really need to talk to her.”

Lydia is quiet on the other end of the line for a beat. “Just a minute, OK?”

Dean watches the clock on the wall above the phone tick by almost a full 60 seconds before Lydia’s phone is unmuted. There’s a bit of muffled shuffling at first, then...

“Hi, Daddy.”

Chapter 8 

Please let me know what you think!

Series Masterlist

MJ’s Masterlist

[billpottsismygf]

Okay, rewatch complete and my feelings are just so *mixed*. When I was halfway through, I wrote this whole thing about the weak plot and bad pacing, but having watched episodes 4-6 in one sitting today, I’m now feeling much better about it. In fact, the emotions of the last scene were even more hard hitting this time, and I no longer have as much of a character issue with Aziraphale’s decision as I did my first time through.

To get my bad thoughts, all written yesterday, out of the way:

The plot is so weak and the pacing is all over the place. What is series 2 about? Crowley and Aziraphale take in an angel who has lost his memory, they successfully hide him for a few episodes while trying to set up two shopkeepers, then we find out what was going on. The End. Series 1 works because we get all this amazing character stuff for Aziraphale and Crowley on top of an engaging romp about the end of the world, with a huge cast of characters and lots of moving parts that all come together at the end for a satisfying finale.

I found episode 3 a particular slog, which is a shame because I do actually like the Georgian setting of the flashbacks, but it gets very flimsy very quickly. I just don't believe Elspeth's sudden desire to kill herself (with an apparent sudden change of heart re: bodysnatching, since she says she doesn't want anyone digging her up), then another sudden turnaround once she's been given the money. I liked the general message they were going for wrt poverty and Aziraphale's ignorance of how the world really works, but it just doesn't quite work for me.

I also don’t buy into Nina and Maggie at all. If it was established that they knew each other a little already, then it might work, but Maggie’s deep investment in Nina liking her just reads as either overbearing or unbelievable. They’ve clearly never spoken about anything other than coffee before, and Maggie has a crush fair enough, but after one somewhat awkward evening locked in a shop, she’s crying and declaring herself in love. I like both of the actresses, but I’m not sure they completely sold it either. (I feel bad pointing out particular instances, but when Maggie’s “crying” when Aziraphale goes to ask about the song, she doesn’t even believably read as upset, let alone crying.)

There's also just the, fanfic-ness of it all, especially with Gabriel and Beelzebub. I've always seen that pairing as a bit of a crack one, though I'm glad there are people who enjoy it, and for it to become canon like that... Maybe if they were still bitches at the end? But the mushy lovey dovey 'wherever [they are] is my heaven/hell' stuff just doesn't read as in character for either of them. It's like they switch into totally different characters at the relationship reveal (though on the rewatch, I did appreciate knowing why Beelzebub was so keen on finding Gabriel).

Really the main things this series has going for it is, firstly, that it is often pretty funny, and, secondly, the chemistry between David Tennant and Michael Sheen, on top of their individually brilliant performances. I am deeply invested in their relationship at this point, as well as the wider implications for Heaven and Hell, but if I weren’t I don’t know that I would be all that excited for series 3. 

I do think series 3 will be better, as this was always described as the series that got us to where series 3 needed to start from, but this is so obviously a filler that it’s hard to see why it was made in the first place. I imagine we needed that break up scene at the end to lead into the final series, but I wonder if that couldn’t have been achieved with a special, or honestly if we couldn’t have just found out what happened through flashbacks within series 3 itself.

Now, onto the good, written today:

The second half of the series is actually much more enjoyable. I adore the entire conceit of having a Regency ball, and it works so well alongside the gathering menace of the swarming demons. I also love the entirety of the 1941 flashback, even if it doesn’t have much to do with the main plot - sidenote, but the thing of calling the flashbacks ‘minisodes’ is very odd given that they often take up the vast majority of their respective episodes.

Now that I was expecting the Gabriel and Beelzebub stuff, it wasn't quite as jarring as the first time. I stand by what I said above about the out of character-ness, though.

The Nina and Maggie of episodes 4-6 are also much more believable, because they're actually talking. They're taking part in the main plot, too, and they get to have agency at the end and tell Crowley off for trying to manipulate their love lives.

As said above, this time the entire final scene between Aziraphale and Crowley packed an even bigger punch. I loved it the first time round, though of course I found it devastating, but this time knowing where it was leading, it hit me all the more. It’s a real showcase of both Michael Sheen and David Tennant’s acting chops, as well as the complex relationship between their characters.

Derek Jacobi, master that he is, is of course completely fantastic as the Metatron. I wonder if he’ll have a bigger role in series 3 (if we get it). I really hope so; I’m always delighted to see more of him. Muriel is so adorable as well, and I find the rivalry between Uriel and Michael so enjoyable.

This series is such a mixed bag and I just cannot settle on a consistent opinion. I think perhaps it would have fared better with either a more complex plot, or fewer episodes. I’ll probably do another rewatch soon, but on a much slower episode-by-episode basis.

[torotits]

there’s no denying that they ultimately both just want to be together they just, by nature, interpret that two different ways and even though season 1 seemed to establish an “our side” that separated them from heaven and hell, like they presumably wanted, it couldn’t allow them a space to develop a relationship any further and it seems that aziraphale’s final decision was based on what he thought would make crowley happy, what would please him, because he saw how happy crowley was as an angel and aziraphale still has a foot in heaven so he’s blind to see how maybe 6000 years could change how happy crowley is with himself as an angel, demon, or “us” and just believes they need to go back to the purity of heaven for everything to be right for them, even though he could literally see maggie and nina’s relationship play out as a perfect example of people growing and changing to fit each other even with the underlying love between them they had to change themselves and fix their hearts before they could truly gain an “our side” because an “our side” was always more than just not working for heaven and hell, it was like a promise that they would always be a constant regardless of the rest of the world but aziraphale seemingly could not fully see what that took as he knew how badly they both wanted that, he thought that the Right thing would be to go along with heaven (as they are the Right Side) as he thought that would make crowley happy despite knowing crowley just wanted him.

and i severely doubt that it could’ve been some sort of Heaven Brainwashing that made aziraphale accept the offer bc it is simply in his nature that he would choose to accept that offer because he has been told time and time again that heaven is the Right answer (despite countless times he has chosen crowley) and he saw this as a way to keep everything he loves without doing wrong because metatron promised him everything and he needed to make not only crowley happy but heaven