#even here they could have done most of it offscreen

[steddieas-shegoes]

count on your courage

for @steddielovemonth prompt 'love is what makes you brave'

rated t | 1,508 words | cw: coming out (one goes horribly wrong offscreen, one goes perfectly right), steve gets kicked out | tags: wayne munson is the best uncle, secret relationship, steve has bad parents, hurt/comfort, wayne adopts steve

💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

Steve should've gone to Robin's probably.

But when you're in a state of shock after being kicked out of your house because your dad found a handwritten love note from your boyfriend, you don't always think clearly.

He was sitting outside the trailer, on the gravel driveway, rocks digging into his ass and thighs, thinking about how uncomfortable the back seat of his car was for sleeping. He managed to grab his sandwich bag of savings, which was barely enough for a motel for a couple of weeks, but maybe he'd find a place that would be more understanding.

After Vecna, most places were open to any arrangement on payment as long as they got something.

"Steve?" Eddie's voice filtered to him from the front door of the trailer.

It wasn't until he heard Eddie's voice that he realized Wayne's truck was parked next to Eddie's van, which meant Wayne was home, which meant Wayne would be confused as hell.

Eddie's hands were on his shoulders, worried and tugging him out of his own thoughts.

"Hey," Steve said.

"What're you doin' here, Stevie? You said you weren't comin' over because you have an early shift tomorrow," Eddie's eyes were wide, and Steve realized he must assume there's an emergency.

"Oh. I did say that." Steve sighed. "I actually don't know why I came here."

"Shit, Steve. Did you hit your head? Is it...you know?"

"No. To both. Just-" Steve didn't want to alarm him, but he did have to say what was going on. "My parents kicked me out. Well, my dad did. My mom just kinda...let him?"

"What? Jesus Christ, Stevie. Come inside, you're shivering," Eddie pulled him up so he was standing awkwardly in front of him. "How long have you been out here?"

"Dunno," he shrugged. Which was true. He knew his parents got home around five, and his dad had stormed out of his office around six, yelling about Steve's belongings being where they shouldn't be. It didn't take long after that for all hell to break loose. "What time is it now?"

Eddie looked down at his watch. "A little after nine."

"Huh. I guess close to two hours."

Eddie cussed under his breath, then wrapped an arm around Steve's waist.

It's not like they had to worry about being seen; What used to be a full trailer park now mostly consisted of the Munson's new trailer and Max's trailer that was only inhabited for a few hours a night, if that.

"Ed? Everthin' okay?" Wayne called from the porch.

Steve looked up, panicked.

It's not that he hadn't been around Wayne plenty of times, especially while Eddie was in the hospital. He'd run into him a few times at the trailer as he passed through the kitchen to pack his lunch for work or when he was heading to bed when Steve was picking Eddie up for work.

It was more like he felt like everything was written clear across his face, and if Wayne found out about him, he'd find out about Eddie, and what if he kicked Eddie out?

They couldn't both be homeless.

Eddie didn't verbally respond, but he must have done something to let Wayne know everything wasn't okay.

"C'mon in then," he gestured, opening the front door for them both to walk through. "Get that blanket off my chair for him."

Steve didn't know why he needed a blanket, it's not like it was even cold.

But as he was gently pushed down onto the couch, he noticed how much he actually was shivering, and realized he must've forgotten his jacket in his haste to leave his house. It wasn't winter, but the chill in at night was too much to be outside without a jacket.

The blanket was soft, and smelled a lot like Wayne's cologne, the one he insisted he didn't wear, but Steve could always smell just a hint of it lingering in the air after he left the room. It was a comforting smell, one he'd gotten used to in the background. One he'd come to associate with Eddie, and calm, and home.

He could hear Wayne and Eddie whispering by the kitchen counter, but couldn't quite focus on the words they were saying.

Wayne sat down across from him, right on the coffee table, like it wasn't a piece of furniture specifically designed for holding things that were never touched. Eddie sat down next to him, leaving no space, and no way to mistake how close they were.

He tried to scoot away, just leave a few inches of space so Wayne wouldn't question it. Eddie's hand on his knee stopped him.

"You wanna tell me about what's going on?" Wayne asked softly.

"I'm fine-"

"I didn't ask if you were fine. I asked if you wanted to tell me what was goin' on." Wayne's voice was gruff, but his face was open, his body leaning in closer to them so he could listen to what Steve had to say. "You ain't gotta tell me everythin', but if you're gonna be stayin', I'd like to know why you look scared outta your mind."

Eddie's hand moved to his back, rubbing in circles, comforting. "It's okay, sweetheart."

Wayne didn't even flinch at the pet name.

Maybe he was just used to Eddie being a bit too loose with his words, or maybe he actually knew.

"My parents um," Steve silently asked Eddie for permission to say more. Eddie nodded. "They found a note from Eddie to me. And they figured out some stuff about um..."

"It's alright. He knows about me," Eddie said softly.

"Go on, kid," Wayne said.

"They found out that he's my boyfriend from the note, and they didn't want their letdown of a son in their house anymore. I had to grab what I could in just a couple minutes and get out."

Wayne's hand rested on his knee now. "Thanks for tellin' me, son."

Steve broke.

The tears came so quickly, so viciously, he couldn't breathe. Eddie's arms wrapped around him, pulled him tight to his chest.

Wayne's hand was on his back, an extra comforting weight as he let the events of the evening sink in.

His parents didn't love him, didn't want him, didn't even care to hear about how lucky he was to finally have someone who got him.

But Wayne was here, showing him acceptance.

Eddie was here, holding him and loving him through this.

And when Robin heard, she'd be by his side, making threats that would make him laugh.

Eventually, he would tell the others, maybe even Hopper.

But for now, he held the courage Eddie gave him close to his chest, used this as a practice run.

"I'm gonna make us some hot chocolate. You got any stuff in your car to bring in?" Wayne asked.

"Just one bag."

"We'll get it in the mornin'. You can borrow some of Ed's clothes tonight. And you let me worry about gettin' your stuff. Me and Jim can handle it." Wayne stood up and started walking towards the kitchen. "And Steve?"

"Yeah?" he pulled away to wipe his eyes and look at Wayne, who was smiling at him.

"I don't expect ya to pay rent, but I do expect ya to help with chores. Your days for dishes can be Mondays and Thursdays and you'll be in charge of groceries one week a month. Sound okay to you?"

He blinked back at Wayne, confused.

"You can share a room with Eds, but remember the walls are thin."

"Wayne!" Eddie choked out.

Steve laughed, genuinely happy on a night when he was sure he'd be miserable for days to come. "We'll behave."

Wayne knocked once on the doorway and walked out of sight.

Steve turned to Eddie and kissed him once on the lips, a quick peck.

"You okay with me living here? Wayne kinda just invited me without talking to you," Steve felt himself blush.

"I want you to be safe and happy, right here with me. With us. If that's what you want."

"Yeah. I want that," Steve rested his head against Eddie's shoulder and sighed. "I'm tired."

"You were brave tonight. Takes a lot outta ya." Eddie kissed the top of his head. "I should know by now that I can always count on your courage, though."

"What do you mean?"

"Took me three years to admit to Wayne that I was gay. Took you three minutes," Eddie let out a quiet laugh. "You amaze me."

"You're being sappy," Steve said into his shirt.

"Let me be a little sappy."

Steve could hear the words he wasn't saying, had felt them plenty of times over the last couple of weeks, maybe months. The 'I love you' that was hidden under sappy words, hidden under the blanket wrapped around him being adjusted by worried hands, hidden in hands that were always touching him to remind him he wasn't alone.

They might be hidden now, but they wouldn't be for long.

[ultimateshixiongfuckertournament]

Noncanonicals Tournament Round 1, Match 7

Match 7 is between John 'Jack' Seward from Dracula (shizun/mentor: Abraham van Helsing) and Obi-Wan Kenobi from Star Wars (shizun/mentor: Qui-Gon Jinn)

Propaganda under the cut! (Warning: Propaganda may include spoilers about the characters and their media)

John 'Jack' Seward:

Actual quotes from the letter in which John Seward introduce Van Helsing:

"I am in doubt, and so have done the best thing I know of. I have written to my old friend and master, Professor Van Helsing, of Amsterdam, who knows as much about obscure diseases as any one in the world. [...]

Van Helsing would, I know, do anything for me for a personal reason, so no matter on what ground he comes, we must accept his wishes. He is a seemingly arbitrary man, this is because he knows what he is talking about better than any one else. He is a philosopher and a metaphysician, and one of the most advanced scientists of his day, and he has, I believe, an absolutely open mind. This, with an iron nerve, a temper of the ice-brook, and indomitable resolution, self-command, and toleration exalted from virtues to blessings, and the kindliest and truest heart that beats, these form his equipment for the noble work that he is doing for mankind, work both in theory and practice, for his views are as wide as his all-embracing sympathy."

I feel like this speaks for itself tbqh.

Also, here's Van Helsing's answer to Seward's offscreen summons:

"When I received your letter I am already coming to you. By good fortune I can leave just at once, without wrong to any of those who have trusted me. Were fortune other, then it were bad for those who have trusted, for I come to my friend when he call me to aid those he holds dear. Tell your friend that when that time you suck from my wound so swiftly the poison of the gangrene from that knife that our other friend, too nervous, let slip, you did more for him when he wants my aids and you call for them than all his great fortune could do. But it is pleasure added to do for him, your friend, it is to you that I come.[...]"

The Gangrene Incident is never explained beyond this. Just. Jack sucked Van Helsing canon and real

Rest assured that they are like this from here to the end of the novel

--

See above; also, let's remember the fact that Jackie can apparently do a bang up Dutch accent to give full bodied performances mimicking his professor. Van H also implies that he and Jack are blood-married.

--

Even though they are mentor/student, Van Helsing strongly believes Jack is his equal in many ways and confides in him just for emotional stability. Stereotypically the mentor pushes the student outside of his comfort zone, but it is Jack who introduces the professor to everyone else in the story. Van Helsing tells another character that Jack helps alleviate his loneliness. He writes his "in case I die" memos to Jack specifically, because there is no one else who would understand him better.

Oh also Van Helsing has a running theme of barging into Jack's room unannounced, waking him up gently from his sleep, invading his personal space with little protest.

Obi-Wan Kenobi:

None submitted

[thesapphicdiaries]

an unhealthy obsession ;; ellie w. x abby a. x reader ;; pt. 1

and i'll get done for somethin' stupid like disturbance of the peace. | (ghostface au)

NOTES: this is entirely self indulgent tbh ,,, but fuck it !! we ball. future chapters will b linked here <3 reblg if u want to be tagged idk that's it. modern au btw. ellie might be a little ooc? for the sake of the au

TRIGGERS: murder but it happens offscreen + blackmail under the threat of violence n manipulation. there's also smoking wed

You'd be the first to admit your interests tended to ebb on morbid.

Maybe, you muse, it had to do with the source of your upbringing: Jackson. It was a stereotypical small town, where, cliché as it was, everybody knew everybody. The town's history was clean as a goddamn whistle. While places like Seattle— Abby's hometown— were a hotspot for crime due to the sheer amount of people making it slightly harder to get caught unless you were a goddamn idiot, with the close proximity of everyone within Jackson from Dina to Tommy Miller, any crime you could commit would be shut down by the local police force in a month at most.

At least— that was what you thought.

So, you indulged your macabre curiosity elsewhere: you binge watched slashers despite your parents' vehement protests and you researched the violent happenings that often took place outside your sheltered hometown. Hell, you'd even indulged in one of those stupid fucking murder mystery games with some of the allowance you'd managed to spare that wasn't spent on various branded paraphernalia... and the other kind, but nobody needed to know that.

You weren't exactly surprised at how others seemed to be creeped out by you: Friday the 13th wasn't exactly a commonplace interest. Even so, you'd managed to make a few close friends whom you considered enough to get you by.

You jolt as your locker slams shut beside your head, and Abby's cackling is all too familiar.

"Fuckin' dick," you groan, feigning your exasperation— you'd finished putting your stuff away, anyway. "What happened to 'hello'? 'How was your day, Y/N?'"

"Your day's always the same," Abby provides helpfully, and you roll your eyes. "You wake up, come to school, indulge the same 3 people—" Her, Ellie, and Dina— "in the same rotation of conversations until they leave, go home, get violently high, watch whatever weird slasher your fancying that night, and then go to bed."

You blink owlishly. "Got my schedule memorized down pat there, Abs. You been stalking me?" You smirk, playfully, but your brow arches when she falls suspiciously silent. "Uh... alright."

"Anyway, you're having a change of plans," Abby finally says, and your eyes widen as you pipe up to speak. "You'll still get violently high and watch a slasher, don't worry. You'll just be gracing me and Ellie with your company while you do." She finishes, and you fall silent.

'Alright," you mutter. "Do I get to pick the slasher, or are you gonna pick some cornball shit like Chopping Mall?" You huff. Abby begins to answer, but your phone suddenly chimes with a notification from your news app.

Local man found dead from apparent stabbing.

Your mouth falls open slightly as Abby reads the headline over your shoulder. You fail to notice her nervous expression.

"Huh," you mutter, slinging your backpack over your shoulder. "Something interesting finally happened in this town. Neat."

-

The choice in film, much to your chagrin, was Chopping Mall. Fortunately, you were too far gone to care.

Your head lolled of the side of the bed, your back strewn across Ellie's legs as you barely manage to register the words spewing from her mouth as you take another hit from the blunt she'd rolled.

"I just don't get how you like these," she complains. "I mean, it's the same damn formula every time. Does it not get boring?"

"That's the pointtttt," you groan. "The more formulaic they are, the better. Sure, some newer takes can be good: but sticking to the classics is a good play. Better safe than sorry." You wave off her concerns.

"Well, look at this little flim critic," Ellie teases as she stares at Abby, who's staring blankly at the ceiling. You'd never fail to find her lower tolerance hilarious.

"I mean," you and Ellie wait patiently through Abby's long pause. "They're right. Formulaic can be good. Patterns are more predictable— easier to keep up." She says, and you notice her and Ellie share a look.

"But they can also suck," she hisses. "Because if you're predictable, it makes it easier to connect. Like, in these movies how they're always killing off dumb, blonde bimbos— you can tell they're all copying eachother." She complains. You squint at the both of them, but don't comment on the subject.

"There's no right answer," you shrug. "I just find the middle ground. Sure, it's predictable, and boring. But it's also the safe call to make. People criticize these movies, but they make fuckin' millions. The original ones get better reviews, but they end up falling flat in the box office."

You don't realize Ellie and Abby's argument isn't referring to movies in the slightest.

"You sound way too fuckin' smart for the both of us," Ellie says, and you snort.

"It's because I am," your eyes flash toward Ellie's clock. "Shit. I gotta go. Parents will kill me if I'm not home soon." You shoot upward, trying to adjust to your surroundings. You cannot come home looking high out of your fucking mind. "See you guys later."

You watch as the two of them give you a halfhearted wave, and once you shut the bedroom door, you chalk up the strange shuffling to... something you don't want to know, honestly.

You don't realize it's much worse than you thought.

-

You surmise the punishment for being late is slightly lesser than the punishment for coming home inebriated, so you take the risk to sober up in a nearby alley between a convenience store and a small restaurant.

The alley is lit up by string lights and decorated with a few benches— perfectly habitable, and it's not what scares you— what does set you on edge is the unchecked darkness of the forest beyond the alley.

You elect to ignore the unease in your stomach, instead taking a hearty swig of the water you'd bought from the convenience store before coming outside. The tension in your shoulders almost releases, then—

You hear a scream.

A bloodcurdling scream.

Every nerve in your body tells you to run the opposite direction of the plea for help, every goddamn slasher you've watched over the years telling you playing the hero always gets you killed, but it's not heroics that lead you toward the source of the noise.

It's that same morbid curiosity that gets you watching slashers in the first place.

The noises grow louder as you draw nearer, and your eyes widen as you stifle a gasp when you see the bloodied body of Nora lying at the feet of two masked killers. You sigh in relief when you realize the treeline obscures you from view, but the noise comes out far too loud.

It hits you just how fucked you are.

You've made a few essential mistakes in the laws of survival so far, but you're not stupid enough not to run: you make a mad dash, but in a sick (and ironic) twist of fate, you trip over your abandoned water bottle and wince as the solid trunk of a tree collides against with your head with a loud thunk.

Through the blurry haze that is your vision, you see the two killers standing right in front of you. You prepare for the worst, when—

"Y/N?"

Oh, shit.

"El?" You hear the panicked rambling of another woman. "Abs? What the FUCK!?"

You almost kick out when Abby covers your mouth with a gloved hand, but know better than to get violent with the woman twice your size with a fucking hunting knife to boot.

"Ellie, El, this is bad." Abby's voice is shaking. "What the Hell do we do, man?"

The forest falls painfully silent.

"Well," Ellie finally begins. "The best course of action? Kill the witness." You whimper, and mentally hit yourself for showing any vulnerability. "But," she continues. "On the other hand, I kind of like this one."

You will Abby to take her hand off your mouth with a pleading look.

"So," you hiss. "What's your plan, here? I don't have all night. Either get this over with and slit my throat or hurry the fuck up."

Ellie grins. "I've always liked that you were a little feisty, Y/N."

"I said," you grit your teeth. "Hurry up."

"Here's the deal, darling," Ellie tilts your chin up with the hilt of the knife. You look away. "You help us out. And we don't kill you." She wrenches your head forward, just enough to look her in the eyes. "You say no, or you rat us out," she mutters, lowly. "And we slit your throat. Deal?"

It hits you there's not a lot of options on the table. You glance over at Abby, clearly the more emotionally charged of the two, and wonder if you can bargain with her. But, you decide, she's probably just as crazy as Ellie or too scared to say no if her going along with this in the first place was any indication.

And, a darker part of you whispers, you wonder how it must feel, if they're willing to do such heinous things.

Finally, you assent with a shaky nod.

"Alright," you wrench your gaze away again.

"I'll help you."

WC: 1.5K

[ravenalla]

Just watched the new helluva episode and..ugh okay opinions under the cut.

Some people are saying this episode is better than the others of season 2. And while visually it’s stunning and not as directly insulting as some of the others, I think this episode is one of the best examples of how these writers don’t understand pacing, comedic timing, or creating a coherent plot. The cuts between locations happen way too fast, some scenes feel like they were written under a minute just to add fluff (like the Moxxie hat fight, Blitz talking with the woman in the waiting room and the entire joke once again just being a character saying curse words or insults multiple times in a sentence, camera crews conveniently being at the hospital to see Stolas hurt for some reason.) Also god Stella. At least when they made her a one-dimensional boring villain she was competent at being one. Now she just looks like a whiny idiot so they could have her brother be there for no reason.

Speaking of which, that was a damn terrible introduction to Andrealphus. Unless your following updates about the show on Twitter, you don’t know who the fuck that is, why he’s here or what his connection to either Stella or Stolas is until now, there’s only been one passing mention she even had a brother before this. He’s just suddenly there with no proper introduction, and then Striker just appears now to kidnap Stolas in front of tons of other people (I guess him trying to kill Stolas with the angelic weapon hidden in the shadows didn’t matter that much after all) and take him back to an underground lair he has for some reason. He also brings up the classist system and Stolas’s bigotry but it doesn’t matter because he hurt the poor uwu prince baby 🙄 I swear it feels like this show is AI generated at this point, or at the very least the writers know that the pretty animation and shipping fuel will keep diehard fans around so they don’t actually have to make anything tightly written and can just do whatever random hodgepodge of scenes and dialogue they like. Which whatever its clear this show is just “the sex joke” show most of the time, but don’t then try to tell me this is some masterclass of writing and character development when the entire climax of Stolas and Blitz’s relationship problems at Ozzie’s was addresses ENTIRELY OFFSCREEN THROUGH TEXT MESSAGES. Even if you ship Stolas and Blitz, how the hell can you accept that? That’s the sloppiest way they could have handled that, I don’t even like this show and I feel disrespected lmao.

And just the way they tried to make us “feel” for their relationship this episode. Why the hell would Blitz be so shocked Stolas could get hurt, you literally fought Striker before because he was two seconds away from killing Stolas instantly otherwise?? You were hired to be his bodyguard in one episode! Like yeah maybe actually seeing it happen is causing the reality of it to sink in for Blitz, but everything we’ve been shown so far INCLUDING IN THIS EPISODE shows how much he does not care that much about Stolas and at best has a mild acceptance of him (at least outside of seeing stars which everybody’s already talked about how weird that entire thing was). I literally have no idea why we are suppose to be rooting for these two to get together at this point. It’s just watching uwu Stolas get hurt over and over again so we can pity the guy and wonder why Blitz wont love him boohoo 🙄 it’s annoying and not fun to watch. Also this might be more of a nitpick, but did anyone else think characters looked weirdly off model a lot in this episode? Like yeah the animation was impressive at some points during the action scenes but during regular dialogue it looked like it was done by a completely different studio than the other episodes, especially with Stella, Andrealphus, Millie, and Moxxie. Not sure what that’s about or if I’m just imagining it.

[bye-bye-sunbird]

Sunnie, I'm having anxiety rn so is it ok if I ask for a lil fluff with Capitano please? 🥺 Maybe he notices her trembling and hugs her or smth

Warning: Offscreen animal death.

It was snowing the day Capitano returned from his mission. Large flakes fell from the leaden sky and the world seemed colorless, as it often was. There was just a small ray of sunlight that pierced through the sky, but even that was losing its fight against the dark clouds. It was going to rain soon.

His horse, a dark creature every bit as large and intimidating as its rider, walked silently as Capitano held its reigns in his hand. He detested riding for too long, and now so close to home, he deemed it especially unnecessary.

It is impossible to imagine anything less welcoming and more solitary than the castle's entrance. He cared little for the gloomy appearance of the stone sculptures and dead garden, but an effort had been made to give it some life after the arrival of its most beloved inhabitant by planting pine trees and winterberries, which, somehow, made the place look even more somber. But you seemed to like walking there, perhaps because as gloomy as it was, it did not compare to the oppressive darkness inside the castle.

As he entered, a slight sound was heard; a heavenly, divine, ineffable sound, as sweet as that dying ray of sunshine. It was a hymn that came out of the garden's labyrinth; your voice.

You were singing, or crying, he couldn't tell one from the other at times.

He approached swiftly; him and his horse barely fitting between the walls of stone. He found you kneeling next to the labyrinth's main sculpture -a wicked beast of stone-, rocking something out of sight. You didn't have your cape on, and you were shaking like a leaf.

"Child, what are you doing out here dressed like that? You are going to get si--"

You turned to him, tears running down your face. You looked like a scared little girl as you gently show him what you had wrapped in your cloak, with a kind of reverence and pain. It was a small yellow bird.

"It's dead," you say, a sorrow in your tone so immense it pierced him like a sword, "One of its wings got stuck in the statue's jaws, I found it on the ground."

He looked closer at the bird, which turned out to be a canary. A house bird that had probably escaped from its cage and ventured into the harsh, icy winds of Snezhnaya. What a grim, ominous sight... no wonder you were so upset.

"I-It wasn't dead when I found it" you continued, "I thought about bringing it inside but Tempest would've harmed it."

That was true, he thought. You adored the cat he had brought you, but it was a wild, foul-tempered little beast that followed you everywhere you went. Tempest was a fitting name.

"I then thought about the greenhouse, but when I stood up it was... already..." you whimpered, "It was only a moment, I swear...", your trembling got worse as you held back the bird close to you.

Not even a second passed when you felt a heavy and warm fabric fall on your shoulders. Capitano was kneeling in front of you, without his coat, which now protected you against the viciousness of the weather.

"There is nothing you could have done," his words were bitter truth.

He knew you'd rather have a knight with a gentle face and honeyed lies, so it was surprising for him to see you lean towards him and hide your face in his chest. He lets you cry for a minute, delighting in that first voluntary closeness. It's the first drop of water that brought him back to reality.

"Come now, little dove. You are going to freeze to death yourself."

You nod gently, and stand up, still wrapping the bird in your arms.

"I... I can't leave it here."

"Then don't," he grabs you by your waist and places you on the saddle in a swift movement as if you weighed nothing at all. "Host a little funeral for it if that's what you want. But first, you must take a bath and get some warm food in your stomach."

You look down at the bird with a puzzled look.

"I'll guard it against the cat while you do what you are told."

[theysangastheyslew]

Hey!!!

I want to share more suffering with you, homie haha *crying*

What do you think of the episode? Especially 132 part ofc!

Hi friend! :'))))))))) Ooooooh honey that gif is such a mood XD I’ve been trying to collect my thoughts and this is the best I can do atm. Sorry it’s kind of wordy but here we go 🥲

Ok! So ever-present pacing issues aside, the overarching story made for a solid episode and the animation was incredible. Hell, even the things I disliked objectively looked well-done out of context. Overall, that was no small feat to pull off, especially in such harsh working conditions. I truly do want to acknowledge that.

But in regards to 132, you guys already put into words how I feel better than I could. I may not have anything new to add, but I’ll say what I liked first and then put my issues under a cut.

As someone who actually really likes Yams’ art style, I loved that they consistently kept Hange’s face accurate to the manga. It was really inconsistent throughout the final season and they struggled to not make it too short a lot of times. Hange was always still stunning of course but the difference always stuck out to me. Here everyone was drawn well, but you can tell she got some extra attention.

The way they inched Levi closer to where Hange was sitting while talking with Yelena. Insignificant yeah but consistent with their past behavior. Also I’m glad they tweaked the position of his bandages so it looked less like they were painfully tugging upwards on his nose.

The pained expressions of the kids and Hange watching Levi struggle to even hold his gear

The “unrequited love” exchange. It had most of the softness and emotion from the manga even though the weight of that line will never be realized in non-written form. The camera lingered on each frame in a way that conveyed the sentiment. This is what got my hopes up that they would stay truer to the source material with DYH.

I'm so glad they left in Hange's lines to Flochroach about not giving up. Helps show—once again—that they wanted to live

The choked way Levi said “Devote your heart” + Hange’s widened eye and soft gasp at his words. Though not tearing up like in the manga, the shot still looked lovely for the half second it lasted. He doesn't pause halfway through saying it though so this one I'm still wrestling with.

Of course, the last stand. Onscreen, Hange took out at least 16 colossals (including the ones we see trip and get trampled) and definitely more offscreen (when they cut away to show other characters) and for the last few, did it while in the most pain a human body can feel. 7/10 for combat, my ass. Idk about y’all but I can’t stop hearing Romi Park’s screams in my head. I knew it would be nauseating and brutal but dear God. At the same time I cannot put into words how proud I am of them. That's my commander 💜

Ok “like” is definitely not the right word for this but I had wondered when I first read 132 how Hange’s gas tank was so well-insulated that it didn’t ignite, and.. well I got my answer.

I’m thankful that they didn’t show a glimpse of Hange’s bloody, crushed remains the way you see in the og panel. That at least felt respectful to me. This is wishful thinking I know but the defined charred outline makes me choose hope they fell more off to the side from where the titans were walking so at least there was maybe still a body left to recover someday.

The afterlife scene, the kids all sobbing their hearts out, Levi holding his own hand in the aftermath trying to process what just happened, and Onyankopon confirming the plane’s significance all really were appropriately gut-wrenching.

I really recommend taking a little break between The Rumbling and Sinners. It definitely makes the shift in emotion less jarring and less

When I did that with my rewatch it helped with the flow of things.

Ok, now twist me up and call me a pretzel bc here there be some salt :|

I’ll try to leave out my og issues with the manga chapter itself (like how painfully obvious it was all just to make Armin commander and how unnecessary Hange dying was IN THE FIRST PLACE and IF it had to happen at all how it could have been done at the final boss skelepalooza showdown, etc.) and just focus on the episode.

Goes without saying but it bears repeating: pacing. 75% of my issues with the execution of DYH would be gone if they just slowed down a bit. Just let the weight of it sink in a little. That this moment —all shreds of shipping aside— is the end of the line for these two heroes who have been supporting each other for ten years while bearing the weight of the world on their shoulders. But Mappa completely reversed the timing of the sequence of events. In the manga we had a longer, more intimate farewell followed by a last stand that was so short even when you knew it was coming it left you reeling from how fast it was from start to finish. Whereas here they hurried it along to get to the “main event”. Hell, it flows better in gif sets than it does in the actual show.

To me, it felt like Hange’s demeanor didn’t really change from talking with the kids to speaking with Levi, making their false bravado seem like less of a front. I know their tone was meant to sound like they were keeping up appearances, but with how often Hange just gets reduced solely to being a titan freak the way they had Romi say the lines made it sound like actual excitement, especially with the way they drew Hange's facial expressions (more on that next)

Hange’s little smirk after the salute. I kinda get what they were trying to do here but to me it came off as very flippant and dismissive of Levi’s choice of words, especially since they all but got rid of their lips trembling and eye beginning to well up with tears. I wish we’d gotten the big fake smile and laugh because that would have shown better that Hange was overcompensating by trying to put their brave face back on after starting to lose their composure. Their fear is obvious in the manga but it just simply didn’t come through as well throughout this entire exchange.

Sooo Hange almost tears up when Pieck said their words inspired her yet minutes later when their Best Friend tries to say goodbye there’s nowhere near that kind of reaction? Sure, Jan

Levi’s face. Ok look. It’s not a lack of emotion on his part that bothers me. It’s that it’s an entirely different one to begin with. He looks bummed at first yes, but then that changes to what I’m guessing is supposed to be determination which comes off as anger or annoyance (kinda like what changed with his scene with Armin on the stairs). They removed what made this parting different from previous ones, which was the sense of open vulnerability and the dawning realization that now he’s going to have to let Hans go too. See it's not like they were in the middle of the battle just yet. This situation came on suddenly and unexpectedly; it wasn't "supposed" to happen. One second they were on track and the next Hange is being torn away by fate. And yes, the highlights play a part in that transition. Anyone who draws eyes knows the importance of placement and intensity and the major impact they have over the final expression. And when drawing a comic you certainly don’t take up valuable page space with three panels focusing on the hope draining out of someone’s eyes if it wasn’t supposed to be the focus. I mean for fuck's sake, even the Final Season!Nendoroid Levi got it right. Plus, if they could make a point of getting Eren's eyes right during the raid on Liberio they could have gotten it here.

When the camera cuts to the kids watching the titans fall the angle doesn’t let you see that Levi can’t bring himself to watch for more than just a second

NOT MAPPA’s FAULT but since I’m being whiny right now I’m going to add that while ACWNR is a mixed bag to begin with, WIT’s adaptation not including Levihan’s introduction saddens me bc Levi asking Hange to keep watching loses a bit of extra oomph.

Really it just comes down to the fact that there was nothing wrong with the original page. It wasn’t overdone or dragged out by any means but considering many other scenes got shot-for-shot depictions I don’t think we were asking for anything outrageous by wanting a faithful adaptation. The couple frames we got that were almost perfect were so freakin fast you barely had time to process them before it cut away.

I wanted to like it, I really did. Especially since MAPPA did so many things so incredibly well as a whole. My expectations weren’t high, and I did want to give it the benefit of the doubt. But when it came to DYH, it felt both watered down and disjointed, like a completely different scene.

But so it goes. At the end of the day, Hange still dies a horrifying death for plot convenience, and Levi is left behind to suffer once again. It was always going to hurt and I was never going to be ready for it, no matter how it was done.

[anna-neko]

cannot stop thinking about a few things from last few eps.... this been marinating in there all night

Intent is a funny thing, ya know? The collar may say "blast those fools except Scary" but clearly Mr Stampler meant the order as "kill those meddling little boys" *cough* that panicked "don't let me kill you...."*cough* fuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Willy doesn't know Scary had a very traumatic experience earlier and has been disassociating as Terri for a bit. He doesn't know (weeeeeell, perhaps suspects. He never was too too trusting to begin with) that while she was separated from him for a few days, his control on her has weakened a touch. If she was so easily willing to murder the others at Rebecca's house just a few days ago, surely she won't mind it right now. Of course he is nice at first contact, keeping up the friendly charade as long as it suits him

but.... still.... guns. The kid-dads are on Earth with guns. The second Terry jr sees them float in he starts SHOOTING A GUN Not cast something. Not wait for them to land, get close to lead Scary away and oooh noes, the boys have been sniped by a mysterious assassin while offscreen! ...etc etc etc No, he shoots on sight. Willy absolutely set up the pieces in such a way that he gets what he wants & she wouldn't know ~ have no reason to suspect ~ she been played

Couldn't just write plainly "murder anyone w/ her" on those collars, not when there was a chance she may get close enuff to read it. noooope. "blast" or "stop all of them" could mean anything, plausible deniability y0! Scary needs to clearly see the weapons in this scenario, watch her [former?] team-mates be shot by those she knows. Bonus points if by stepdad - person she dislikes the most. But any of the kid-dads landing the final blow leads to exact same results.

She will end up alone.

Alone & isolated from her peers, toxic angst swelling inside by the second, zero doubts of Willy being her one and only true friend

but also - speaking of guns None of us question the sniper is Grant. Oh, we absolutely claw at the walls and wail in despair as it happens, but .... its fitting, isn't it? Poor lil Grant Wilson, the broken kiddo who was very much into shooter games. Of course he'd be the one to pull the trigger ("I'm up bad and broken, and wrong, and villain person. And it's important to me that you... I can't pass that on to you, okay? You can't be anything like me. So you gotta promise, don't ever kill anybody. Ever")

but hang on.... ALL the kid-dads have guns at this time. And why not Lark, who clearly is just as much about the guns. He was only giving one to his nephew literally at start of ep1! oooh right.. Lark comes prepackaged with Sparrow and the lvl of bitter betrayal at having him be the shooter just isn't the same . He already unleashed literal End of the World himself, the element of surprise won't work twice Terry jr could only fall by Grant's bullet.

______________ and while am spreading psychic damage out here - pray Scary herself never figures out she is partially responsible for that "kill" order How you may ask? weeeeeeeell *steeples fingers* think back a few eps and lets add up a few facts, shall we? Willy has been manipulating Scary for a while now, but he never actively tried to kill the others (even after separating them RE: Tony Pepperoni incident) Taylor's beheading was carefully done. Intensely shocking & upsetting, but non-lethal. Ever wonder why?

Sure, a group would have an easier time at getting all the anchors, but she's been more powerful than them for quite a while now; it is no longer as dangerous for her to go out there alone. But he didn't outright murder them..... because home & Earth dimensions hopping!!

the "amigara falls" door needed all 4 teens ~ alive and well as it were ~ to be able to travel between Earth & Forgotten Realms! Recall how furious he was with her when she sent that selfie of having "killed" them (you're fucking stupid for killing them because now we have to find another way into Faerune or Earth, I guess)

But now all anchors are taken care of, she has so conveniently just appeared right next to his other "travel keys" (collared kid-dads).... nobody else is as useful as this pathetic lil goth girl who's been dutifully accumulating power (for him to later suck outta her like a gusher, and throw away the empty shell)

./.....this has been a 6am brainrot......

[gavillain]

How do you think KH2 compares to KH1 in terms of the direction they went with story and characters?

I am well aware that I'm in the minority here, but I always thought Kingdom Hearts II was a big letdown after Kingdom Hearts I. I still ENJOY KH2 and I have fond nostalgia for it, but it's just as not as good as the first game, imo.

My biggest problems with it:

The Disney Worlds are entirely superfluous. You could literally cut every single out, even the ones where Organization XIII appears, and it would not change the plot at ALL. And that was NOT the case for KH1, where every single Disney World DID have a purpose, whether it was to advance the main plot (Wonderland, Deep Jungle, Agrabah, Monstro, Neverland) or to underscore major themes or ideas (Olympus Coliseum, Atlantica, Halloween Town). In KH2, you're basically playing through shittier versions of the Disney movies without it impacting anything until the time comes for you to actually go do important stuff in Hollow Bastion or Twilight Town. And the Disney worlds are the majority of the game! So it just feels like most of the time, you're just wasting time with filler.

The twist that Ansem wasn't Ansem and that he was ACTUALLY a guy named Xehanort, and Xehanort has a second incarnation who is leading the Organization while the REAL Ansem is a good guy who has been in disguise as DiZ working to undo the damage his apprentice has done was a dumb twist. It undercut Ansem's motivation and characterization from the first game, and it was just needlessly convoluted and started the trend of the series just being convoluted for the sake of being convoluted.

Riku had an incredible arc of character growth in Chain of Memories with him deciding the walk the Road to Dawn and use light and darkness together in his own way. That got thrown out the window so that Riku could be emo and mopey, turn into Ansem for some stupid reason, and be on the periphery of the plot. I get that they needed him to be offscreen for most of the game, but having him arbitrarily take like twenty steps back in his arc wasn't the answer.

They set up Organization XIII and the Nobodies as being morally gray sympathetic people trying to regain their hearts, and we have Roxas as a sympathetic person grappling with his existence as a Nobody and the question of what measure is a non-human... aaaaand all of that kinda just gets brushed aside in the main game where Organization XIII is just unambiguously mustache twirling evil, and Sora just has to kill them all. It's weird, and it doesn't jive. If you're gonna try to make your villains sympathetic, it can't just be an informed attribute where one character feels sorry for them for a reason they never showcase. Axel and Roxas aren't even in Organization XIII for most of the game. No one is conflicted, no one has any redeeming qualities. And that's FINE. You can have pure evil villains, and they WORK as pure evil. But the weird informed "oh you poor thing" quality doesn't go anywhere and it muddies the waters in a way that just makes what you as the protagonist have to do in the game feel... icky. And it's never examined.

The game design does away with like 90% of the platforming, so the level design is almost exclusively big empty rooms. You run from one side of the big empty room to the next, you trigger a cutscene, then you run across another empty room for another cutscene, and so on. I found it very boring to actually play outside of the boss battles, and there's just no exploration element in this one. Which, compared to KH1 where exploration, climbing on things, finding secret passageways, and completing puzzles was such an integral part of the gameplay.

Oh and they try to compensate for that shortcoming by adding in a bazillion annoying minigames that are equally boring. Thanks, I hate it.

This one's mostly a personal gripe, but I missed the Disney Villains council from the first game. They were fun, and tbh I feel like they were MUCH better villains than Organization XIII, wherein most of the members were glorified boss battles without any real character depth. Maleficent also kinda gets turned into a sap, and the lifelong Maleficent fan in me hated that. She gets an interesting arc, but at what cost? XD

Kairi has nothing to do, and she is pointless in this game. And characters can exist without a utilitarian plot purpose, but they never really find anything interesting for Kairi to do even just in a flavor way. She's just kind of in the game because she was important in the original and they didn't want to leave her on the island for the entire story.

WHERE THE FUCK WAS DODGE ROLL IN THE ORIGINAL GAME??? I know they added it in Final Mix, but in the base game, it just doesn't exist, and there's just no good way to dodge for the majority of the game. And to add onto that, I hate the way you have to level up Drive Forms to get abilities that make traversing the game easier, but they only level up in arbitrary ways and it's hard to even get to use them because the drive gauge takes forever to fill up. You really only can get the movement abilities in the late game where they don't even really matter anymore.

Look, I know most games have the camera being controlled by the R3 analogue stick, but I genuinely hate that. Having it controlled by R2 and L2 in KH was so much more intuitive and made me so much less motion sick. I wish they'd had a way to toggle the controls for that.

But there are a few big positives that I have to say:

The whole end scene on the beach with Sora and Riku is amazing. one of the very BEST moments in the entire franchise. Even though I didn't like Riku's arc, him and Sora getting to just sit and talk at the culmination of a hard won victory was wonderful, and this scene was a great cherry on top for their stories over KH1, CoM, and KH2. Also, I will go down with this ship.

The Roxas prologue may have gone on for a bit too long, but it was GOOD. It was well written, Roxas was interesting, and the way they used the end of summer vacation as a metaphor for the end of existence hit SO hard home for childhood me playing the game. VERY powerful, very well executed, no notes.

As previously mentioned, I like where Maleficent's arc ended up going with her trying to return to power in her own way with the deck stacked against her. I don't necessarily think it was handled especially well for most of the game, but I enjoyed getting the chance to root for my favorite villain to usurp her rivals. And that has definitely influenced my writing a lot.

The combat gameplay is really fun, and even though I don't like the mechanics of the Drive Forms, actually using them in combat is super fun. You feel POWERFUL, and it's exhilarating!

The music is amazing. It's Yoko, so of COURSE it is.

I like what they do with Pete. I know most people don't and think he's just KH's Team Rocket, but I thought Pete was fun. And I like the depth they managed to give him too.

Olympus Coliseum's story is genuinely great. I like how it's actually mostly a NEW story instead of just a retread of the movie. Hades is in peak form, and playing around the Underworld is just the best.

The Disney Castle / Timeless River story was likewise really good. I think those two and Olympus were the only two Disney worlds that I thought were actually worthwhile.

So, yeah, there's a lot that I actually genuinely really like about KH2, and I'm nostalgic for it, but I have major beef with it too. It's not as good as KH1 (which, for the record, I thought was damn near perfect), but as its own thing, it's definitely better than a lot of the subsequent installments.

[ladyluscinia]

Pettiest, most unprovable thing that I still scoff and roll my eyes at like they just failed a freebie question on a test is when people headcanon Spanish Jackie doesn't like Izzy.

Izzy makes a quip about hating her bar yet Geraldo, a husband who doesn't seem to get out much and comes from a gang - not pirate - background knows him by sight. And is surprised he's been away so long. Jackie is about to add Stede's nose to the jar and a hesitant interjection that Izzy was in there looking for him stops it instantly.

"But wait," you ask, thinking that somehow I've not already thought of this, "Doesn't it make more sense that she stopped because of Blackbeard aka most intimidating guy around???"

You would think, maybe, except minutes later Geraldo is dispatched to lure Stede to the Spanish Navy to die. If she actually cared about Edward's opinion then nothing has changed. I guess the Geraldo trap is trying to be covert but it's not terribly effective? Edward literally follows them. She still very pointedly avoided interfering in Blackbeard's business and then turned around to immediately interfere. However. Something that could have changed the moment the door hit Stede on the way out is Jackie asking what exactly Izzy and Stede discussed... and realizing "Ohhhh wait Izzy wants this dude dead. We're cool. Kill him."

"Well maybe Jackie is just doing her own thing," you suggest. "Playing whatever side. Trying not to directly antagonize Blackbeard but she doesn't actually give a shit?"

Well that would be plausible, EXCEPT! Skip ahead! Izzy goes straight to Jackie after getting kicked off the boat. She's ordering him a drink and ready to hear his proposition immediately. They talk offscreen. They summon Badminton to her bar. So two things to point out here:

If Jackie was taking a "play nice with Blackbeard in public" stance then what the hell is she doing this for? I maintain the plan was under the table and had minimal risk from the British, but I think there was fairly high risk of Edward finding out. She doesn't get much out of this besides Stede dead, and while she bears a grudge idk if it was a "kill Blackbeard's new boyfriend and hope he doesn't get pissed about it" grudge. But if Izzy being all upset about this is a genuine point in the plan's favor on its own...?

Izzy spends his whole goddamn visit bemoaning his relationship woes. And Jackie sits there and listens! Do we think she can't shut Izzy up? Or make a quip about it to poke fun at Izzy? Nah, Jackie is fulfilling the sacred and time-honored role of bestie who listens to everything Stede has done and solemnly declares "That bitch" even when Izzy is being objectively way too dramatic about this. She also probably advocates for dumping Edward.

I lied. 3 things. Jackie invites Badminton and his navy guys to her bar. She doesn't like them, she's probably only doing this because she gets to hold something over them... again, this is so much just for Stede since she has the least investment in his death. But if Izzy needs her to do him a solid and she actually likes him enough to care? Makes sense.

Izzy obviously gets Jackie in the divorce and she's the one supplying both a steady stream of breakup booze and alternating grounded and truly unhinged advice. She's the shoulder of solidarity. The Evelyn to his Mary. I will be taking zero notes on this because I'm right 😌

[homoquartz]

k now that it's over here's my thoughts. they're the negative ones so they're under readmore. i'll post my positive ones the way i normally do.

i want to start by saying of COURSE i love this show. like of course i do. so:

second seasons are almost always written kind of badly so i am trying to be fair here. i also know strikes and time constraints BADLY fucked the script.

but even so, some of the pacing is fucky in a way that feels confused. like some scenes were cut so short i thought there was an editing error. relationships seemed to develop offscreen, when it feels like those scenes should have been prioritized over some others if folks knew they were gonna have to make cuts. and for whatever reason, some scenes or concepts were held onto when there simply wasn't any room for them (ned being the most egregious imo).

i predicted that they would react to the fan obsession with izzy by giving him too much airtime and i was right. he had more time and character development (though i think his character was changed unrealistically at times) than anyone else by MILES. i am an izzy hater, but even if i wasn't at a certain point i would BEG him to give up the fucking mic.

ESPECIALLY because he has now overshadowed Jim (!!!!!!), who was groundbreaking as a queer nonbinary POC lead. season 1 Jim was practically co-lead and now had NO motivation outside kissing girls this season. AND we STILL don't know anything about olu, roach, or frenchie. our characters of color were badly neglected i think. yi sao may be the only exception, i think she was done well with the time given.

speaking of olu, his romance with the pirate queen was pivotal to the main plot of the season but we get like NO time with him! let alone his relationship with yi sao. imagine a few cut izzy scenes to flesh out olu's situationships. all of them.

i believe at least part of the reason they dropped olu/jim was because jim's actor advocated for jim to date women. That's fine. but it was handled SO disrespectfully given their romance arc in season 1!! not even a conversation?? and to shoehorn in archie when jackie and yi sao and mary/anne were right there?? Lazy imo, and poor streamlining

and speaking of other characters, there were too many. season 1 connected all the antagonists together nicely, with the main big bad being the british. now the big bad is ??? sometimes ned, sometimes yi sao, sometimes nose guy, sometimes jackie, sometimes ed.

season 1 had episode-long enemies, a la calico jack and the french party, but the episodes SAT with those enemies and made them meaningful. ned just kind of appeared and died. if stede needed a reason for his ego trip, or to show off his people management skills, it could have been like. literally one of a million other situations. if we needed ed's suicide attempt to be via ned, ned could have shown in episode 3.

no one's relationships had time to develop naturally like they did in season 1. you didn't have time to understand anyone's motivations. stede and ed were a "couple" for all of half of two episodes. for a show about their romance there was surprisingly little time dedicated to the beats of their relationship. though it would have been painful, i think this season would have deeply benefitted from ed and stede not getting together until the finale. their actions and motivations don't make sense unless you take the kissing out of it. I'm sure a good deal of that is due again to cuts made by HBO.

i'm very disappointed, but that doesn't mean i'm ungrateful. this show is still extremely important, i am praying for a third season renewal, and i hope that season turns the ship around.

[likeadragonfruit]

Unalaq is probably the worst received villain from The Legend of Korra, but there was something about him that bothered me from the first episode to the last, even if those issues evolved and shifted.

What Unalaq was

I’ll start off with his design that Bryan admits to being too similar to Tarrlok 

Despite my earlier speculation of possible parallels to Azula, Unalaq is probably best described as a mixture of Azula, Ozai and Iroh

One part Azula, as in written most likely in a manner like Prince Azul from the series Bible/original outline of ATLA. 

(Yet another) villainous father, like Ozai and Yakone before him. The major difference being that while the other two have moments of confirmed or attempted physical abuse, Unalaq’s is confined more to verbally berating his children. 

An evil mentor archetype similar to the original plan for Iroh in the series Bible/original draft. Though here, Unalaq is manipulating Korra to his own ends rather than sabotaging her the way first draft Iroh was supposed to be sabotaging Zuko. (Being Korra’s uncle just hammers the parallel in more)

The Ozai and original version of Iroh similarities are further reinforced with Korra’s choice between him and Tonraq/Tenzin as a compressed version of Zuko’s choice between Ozai and Iroh

All in all, Unalaq almost seems like a greatest hits of previous villain concepts, for what for a time could’ve been the final season. Yet the concept falls flat because of the weird choices around his goals and motivations.

He’s supposed to “have a deep connection to spirits” and be frustrated with the disconnect between humans and spirits

But he’s also a schemer who got his brother banished so he could become Chief of the Northern Water Tribe

And everything he does in the season, manipulating Korra, trying to get Tonraq imprisoned for life, occupying the Southern Water Tribe is in service to reopening the spirit portals supposedly

But not just to reopen the spirit portals, but also free Vaatu, for whom Unalaq was working for/with the whole time?

Unalaq claims to disbelieve that Vaatu is as dangerous as he seems, and claims that Wan only brought chaos

So his solution is to side with Vaatu so he can counter the Avatar?

The best I can come up with is that Unalaq got deceived by Vaatu, much like Wan did. Except that falls flat because what could’ve been so convincing to ignore every warning that Vaatu wanted to end life as everyone knew it?

And in the end, it doesn’t matter what Unalaq wanted since Unavaatu only wants what Vaatu wanted: 10,000 years of darkness (not even getting into the rest of the mess with Vaatu)

What bothered me about Unalaq

Initially, what bothered me about Unalaq was the missed opportunity of him as Korra’s teacher. From the little we see of him instructing Korra, he was a better teacher than Tenzin. Korra still had to work on spiritually and relating to spirits, but Tenzin’s methods weren’t likely to work. (In fact, when he has tries to guide her into the Spirit World, Tenzin explicitly fails.)

Unalaq not only seemed to have a better teaching relationship with her, but also could’ve been an opportunity to explore Water Tribe spiritual traditions and let Korra connect herself to that, rather than the franchise’s insistence that airbenders have a monopoly on spirituality.

The worst part is even under the framework of a villainous Unalaq, they still could’ve done more with the concept. Unalaq teaches Korra is spirit transformation technique offscreen, and despite Korra later having bitter feelings over it because Unalaq only taught her things to manipulate her, it’s still something she uses for the rest of the season. Some extra time with the two of them practicing could’ve fleshed out the relationship, lessons Korra learned besides bending, provided further opportunity to flesh out Unalaq’s philosophy and beliefs, with room to foreshadow the flaws.

The other thing that bothers me, aside from the whole working for Vaatu angle, is that if Unalaq really was about opening the spirit portals, all he needed to do was convince Korra that leaving them open was a better option. Which she decided to anyway, making freeing and fusing with Vaatu pointless. But that goal was also undermined by his need to have Tonraq imprisoned. 

Also, what is with Tonraq and Unalaq’s relationship? Why are they like this? How does this fit with the rest? I have no answers, only more questions

[ultimateshixiongfuckertournament]

Noncanonicals Tournament Round 2, Match 4

Match 4 is between John 'Jack' Seward from Dracula (shizun/mentor: Abraham van Helsing) and Han Ying from Word of Honor (shizun/mentor: Zhou Zishu)

Propaganda under the cut! (Warning: Propaganda may include spoilers about the characters and their media)

John 'Jack' Seward:

Actual quotes from the letter in which John Seward introduce Van Helsing:

"I am in doubt, and so have done the best thing I know of. I have written to my old friend and master, Professor Van Helsing, of Amsterdam, who knows as much about obscure diseases as any one in the world. [...]

Van Helsing would, I know, do anything for me for a personal reason, so no matter on what ground he comes, we must accept his wishes. He is a seemingly arbitrary man, this is because he knows what he is talking about better than any one else. He is a philosopher and a metaphysician, and one of the most advanced scientists of his day, and he has, I believe, an absolutely open mind. This, with an iron nerve, a temper of the ice-brook, and indomitable resolution, self-command, and toleration exalted from virtues to blessings, and the kindliest and truest heart that beats, these form his equipment for the noble work that he is doing for mankind, work both in theory and practice, for his views are as wide as his all-embracing sympathy."

I feel like this speaks for itself tbqh.

Also, here's Van Helsing's answer to Seward's offscreen summons:

"When I received your letter I am already coming to you. By good fortune I can leave just at once, without wrong to any of those who have trusted me. Were fortune other, then it were bad for those who have trusted, for I come to my friend when he call me to aid those he holds dear. Tell your friend that when that time you suck from my wound so swiftly the poison of the gangrene from that knife that our other friend, too nervous, let slip, you did more for him when he wants my aids and you call for them than all his great fortune could do. But it is pleasure added to do for him, your friend, it is to you that I come.[...]"

The Gangrene Incident is never explained beyond this. Just. Jack sucked Van Helsing canon and real

Rest assured that they are like this from here to the end of the novel

--

See above; also, let's remember the fact that Jackie can apparently do a bang up Dutch accent to give full bodied performances mimicking his professor. Van H also implies that he and Jack are blood-married.

--

Even though they are mentor/student, Van Helsing strongly believes Jack is his equal in many ways and confides in him just for emotional stability. Stereotypically the mentor pushes the student outside of his comfort zone, but it is Jack who introduces the professor to everyone else in the story. Van Helsing tells another character that Jack helps alleviate his loneliness. He writes his "in case I die" memos to Jack specifically, because there is no one else who would understand him better.

Oh also Van Helsing has a running theme of barging into Jack's room unannounced, waking him up gently from his sleep, invading his personal space with little protest.

#you have to understand just how MUCH jack wants to fuck van helsing#so badly#he is constantly heart-eyes at van helsing even when he thinks van helsing might be a bit mad#like literally he writes about how GOOD van helsing would be at being a madman if he were to do so because he's the bestest at everything 😍#he and van helsing talk about the two of them being as one#they mirror the ultimate main couple in that - just as jon and mina write their 'if i should die' notes to each other -#van helsing writes his to JACK as the one whom he loves most#anyway in conclusion jack wants van helsing and his 'all encompassing sympathy' SO bad#and honestly i think getting some of that aged D might fix him#like not all of his problems because dear god man. but like. at least a few could be solved with a good solid dicking

#did we. or did we all not read jack asking van helsing to be his pet student AGAIN

#when it comes to mentorfucking#there's no greater mentorfucker than jack seward

Han Ying:

He idolized and was mentored by Zhou Zishu to the point of recruiting other young martial artists to revive ZZS’s dying sect and willing to die live happily ever after for it.

#han ying wants to fuck zhou zishu SO BAD#han ying#shizunfucker tournament

#my sweet ying'er wants to fuck zzs so bad he's gagging for it

#HAN YING HANDS DOWN#would have licked his boots if he asked

[tobiasdrake]

The final camera. Tension continues to build. Who's going to die? How? Why?

Yup. Here we are. Setting up a secret spycam at the entrance to an all-girls' school for what Shachi assures me are definitely freedom-fighting reasons. Most certainly.

On the plus side, that camera is super visible, especially when you consider the stairs leading up offscreen to my right, giving people an easy vantage from which to see the poorly-concealed cam. Yuma didn't even bother to try and stick it in the bushes.

So there's a strong chance that, within a couple days, someone will stomp on it while screaming "FUCKING PERVERT." An assessment that I'm not entirely sure I disagree with.

None of these places seem to be bustling with police activity, which makes me really suspicious about why you sent me here, bruh.

Sure, I can call and let him know it's done. We'll see if he picks up. He has a pretty high chance of being either the killer, the victim, or the falsely-accused by Amaterasu in this case. For a man of his grand importance, who we've been told has one of two guns in play on his person, and who is the nicest cinnamon roll ever to lead a rebellion? Yeah, there's no way he's going to be a mere witness.

Plus he seems to know a lot about homunculi, which is either good or bad for his chances for survival. If he lives, he can tell us things like Kurumi did. But if he dies, he can take his knowledge with him and leave us fumbling around in the dark some more.

...oh, or maybe Serval is trying to kill us in order to tie up loose ends. That's also a possibility. I'll admit, I did not see that coming.

Wait, is Shachi's transceiver going to explode? I thought that meant ours was going to explode.

Well. Fuck. The game is afoot. That happened abruptly. Serval is immediately suspicious, but in that "too suspicious" sort of way. Like, the only person who could possibly be responsible for this is Serval, which makes Serval's culpability way too obvious to be true.

Yeah, I didn't think we were crossing two separate districts in five minutes' time. Okay, time to go find Shachi's smoldering corpse and begin asking the questions. Like. Why was he in the phone booth where we planted the first cam?

But there doesn't appear to be a body in it. So maybe the bomb wasn't Shachi's transceiver. Maybe the cameras are the bombs.

That would explain the bizarre placements, if the Resistance wants to do some shock-and-awe property damage bombings but without hitting any civilians in the process. These are all in locations that are remote enough that they could be detonated without hitting anyone but close enough that people would notice.

Like, if they wanted to kill people, we'd set the bomb inside the cafe. Not at a bus stop outside the cafe.

Y'know what? I support this. They're making a public spectacle and being disruptive without hurting anyone in the process. This is way better than anything they might have done with those cameras.

I assume they probably still have a camera built-in, so Serval can tell when there's no one in the blast radius.

...okay, so they just got lucky that there was no one in the blast radius. My bad.

My dude isn't wrong when he suggests that there will be casualties on the road to revolution. In a fascist dictatorship, there are few if any non-violent roads to change, and violent means lead to violent consequences.

But he's saying it with the Wicked Bad Guy tone and language, so he's obviously talking about the Resistance killing civilians rather than rallying soldiers to die for liberation. You know how media is. "Anti-fascists are JUST AS BAD as the fascists! Maybe worse!" Writers sure do love their aggressive centrism.

Which brings us right back around to "Meet the new boss, same as the old boss." This is not a democracy. These people have no power over their government, and their government is cruel and corrupt enough to not care about collateral damage. There is nothing to be gained by targeting civilians for reprisal.

[2af-afterdark]

MC camshow - Leviathan

Rating: Explicit

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: F/M

Fandom: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!

Characters: Leviathan, Main Character

Additional Tags: AFAB!MC (they/them), Demons are very large compared to humans so MC is sometimes referred to as being tiny, sex toys,

Summary: Levi discovers the secret the exchange student is keeping.

A/N: I was planning to make some headcanons for the men finding MC's camshow… but then they got super long and now they are split up.

Word Count: 1200

When he helped them set up their computer and camera he did not expect what he would find!

He had been stumbling around a website of questionable content when he decided, on a whim, to search for any live shows happening at the moment. They were sorted by the most popular, but he had no interest in a room where he'd have to compete for attention with a bunch of other people so he scrolled further down. About midway down the page he found a room currently ongoing with only about a dozen people, but that isn't what really caught his attention. No, what really drew his attention was the name and thumbnail of the room; HUMAN CAPTIVE AT YOUR MERCY with a thumbnail of a masked person in chains.

It couldn't be, could it? His throat was dry as he clicked on the room, making sure his screen name was entirely different from his real one. They were already in the middle of a conversation with another member of the room when he entered, but they greeted him as soon as they were done. Oh shit! It really was them! The background was some terribly flimsy paper with a dungeon motif so he couldn't see their room, but that was definitely their voice that called his name.

At first, he thought it wasn't much of anything since all they were doing was sitting and talking to the chat, answering questions and asking how their days were. They were as sweet as ever when they spoke to everyone and even got thrown a couple of tokens here and there just so they would pay special attention to one person over another.

"Alright. I think that's about everyone that's going to show up today, so why don't we get started."

It was a total tonal shift. The casual conversion evolved into them leaning back to show off the barely-there underwear they were wearing. They held up their arms to show off that there were wearing the same shackles from the thumbnail and a small meter appeared on the side of the screen with tiers and goals.

The audience wasn’t huge, but payments started flowing in. They only smiled as they picked up a small pocket knife from somewhere offscreen and ran the bladed tip over their breasts, teasing at the thin straps that held their bra up

When they finally hit enough tokens, they slip the blade under one of the straps and cut away their bra so it falls down to expose their already hard nipples and full breasts to the camera. They look embarrassed as their eyes start to water and they whine about cruel everyone is for treating them so badly.

Levi was embarrassed and humiliated to admit that he was getting hard watching them. He palmed himself through his sweatpants, watching as the little bar got higher and higher and they fulfilled each tier. First, it was cutting away their clothing. Then it was pushing their tits together while the chat typed out all the things they wanted to do to their human captive. Eventually spreading their legs and digging their fingers into their cunt while they whined the names of some of the people paying them to. There was a tier above that that said they would ride a dildo, but the payments were slowing down and it didn’t seem they would make it.

In a moment of weakness, Levi donated the last of the tokens needed to reach the next tier (which was no small amount). They honestly looked so happy to reach the tier and the chat was blowing up about finally getting to see their cute captive get stuffed.

They grabbed a dildo and started rubbing it between their slick folds, teasing their entrance with the tip without putting it in, apologizing that they had to go slow because demon dick was just "too big for their small human body". They claimed that, even with all the prep they'd done with their fingers, they couldn't take something so large so quickly.

Big. They thought demons were big. Did that include him? Would they rub against his cocks and tell him that he was too big for them?

Something inside of him snapped. If they wanted to play captive, they had to really get into the role. Captives didn't get a say in what was done to them.

He typed in the chat that they were prepped enough and that they could just shove it in. The rest of the chat agreed and started to egg then on. They cried that their body couldn't take it, but they were definitely pushing against the base to start shoving it in. He swallowed hard as he fisted himself, squeezing tightly as he imagined leaning over them and trying to fit inside their tiny human body that was already having trouble taking a single dildo, let alone both of his cocks.

They practically screamed as they finally pushed it all the way in, tears in the corners of their eyes as they fucked themselves on the toy. The chat was going crazy, saying that they really looked like a good little captive that deserved to take a real cock rather than a toy. They were being thrown orders to show their face, no their pussy, play with their tits. Everyone wanted something different.

But there was one thing that made Leviathan practically cum on the spot. They started crying out his screen name, thanking him for stretching out their pussy and promising to be a good captive if he would just let them cum.

……….

He typed out that they weren't allowed to finish themselves no matter how good it felt and attached another payment. They whimpered, but said they understood. Then it was just a mess of the dildo sinking into their cunt over and over, stopping every now and again so they didn't cum.

His vision was going blurry watching them ruin themselves on the dildo, his eyelids fluttering closed as he reached his own peak and spilled into his own hand. Only then did he finally tell them they could cum. And cum they did.

It was so loud that he wasn't sure if the sound he heard was coming from his own headphones or from their room downstairs.

They only lied there for a while, chat actually wondering if they orgasmed to death before they finally got back up. Their eyes were glazed over, the side of their mouth covered in drool, and their lips trembling as they spoke.

"Thanks for showing up tonight everyone. I always love being at your disposal."

Chat, despite how it had been talking about them the entire event, suddenly turned back into being calm and told them to go take care of themselves and that they couldn't wait for next week. Then the stream ended.

Levi leaned back in his seat, hand still a mess and dicks hanging out. He stared at the ceiling, debating his sanity as he looked at the time. He'd watched them the entire stream and was already reliving it in his head.

Yeah… maybe he was looking forward to next week too.

[mariana-oconnor]

The Silver Blaze pt 1

Blazin' time.

Like I said on my commentary for Wisteria Lodge, I do remember this one. I will try not to give anything away. Although, again, I don't remember whodunnit, just whatwasdun and various assorted clues, which will probably mean that I will realise whodunnit as we go.

I also don't remember if the culprits die offscreen in a random shipwreck. Has anyone done a statistical analysis of the bad guys comeuppances in the Holmes stories? Probably. I feel like 'death by convenient shipwreck' is going to be up there.

“I am afraid, Watson, that I shall have to go,” said Holmes, as we sat down together to our breakfast one morning.

Woop, in media res this time. No commentary about how this is in the few months following Watson's wedding. Just BANG Holmes g2g.

When, therefore, he suddenly announced his intention of setting out for the scene of the drama it was only what I had both expected and hoped for. “I should be most happy to go down with you if I should not be in the way,” said I.

I think we underestimate what a relentless gossip fiend Watson is. He wants the tea, but he's far too respectable to just go over there and find out for himself, so he's been sitting there hoping that his bff will give him an excuse to go be nosy. And being an excellent bff, Holmes is doing just that.

We're going on a horse hunt, we're going to maybe catch a famous one... And we are going to judge literally everyone involved, because that is the Watson way.

Watson this time doesn't even mention his patients - or his wife - ACD has clearly decided not to bother trying to fit this into the continuity. How very fanfic of him. I support this choice.

“Our rate at present is fifty-three and a half miles an hour.” “I have not observed the quarter-mile posts,” said I. “Nor have I. But the telegraph posts upon this line are sixty yards apart, and the calculation is a simple one."

I was about to make a commentary about why Holmes was doing this, but then I remembered that I used to do pretty much the same thing on the motorway when I was a kid. Not with telegraph poles, but with the little markers for the emergency phones. So I really do not have a single leg to stand on. The only thing I can mock here is that he knows how far apart telegraph poles are and honestly I find that kind of a reasonable thing to know.

Yay maths!

"I presume that you have looked into this matter of the murder of John Straker and the disappearance of Silver Blaze?”

I did not remember the murder. I did remember the horse. I guess that tells you what 10yo me's priorities were. Although I never quite made it as a true horse girl.

"On Tuesday evening I received telegrams from both Colonel Ross, the owner of the horse..."

Another colonel. There are so many colonels. Far too many colonels. Other ranks are available.

"...Mapleton, which belongs to Lord Backwater..."

Lord Backwater? Really? Were you just not trying with names at this point Holmes? Lord Backwater who lives in the middle of nowhere? According to Google he also appeared in The Noble Bachelor, so maybe I should have noticed this then, but still.

Lord Backwater, who is probably good friends with Sir Yonder, Her Grace the Duchess of Inthastix, and Col. Rustical.

I'm going to stop now.

We do have the return of the 'gypsies', so I'm anticipating at least one person suggesting that they had something to do with it, because of course someone will. But they won't be the actual thieves, I'm pretty sure, just another red herring based on prejudice.

"She took no liquid, as there was a water-tap in the stables, and it was the rule that the lad on duty should drink nothing else."

Well that's a way to stop people from getting drunk on duty, I suppose. Although if they wanted to, they could just hide booze in the stable. Is it also intended to prevent them from being drugged? That's pretty extreme, considering their food is coming from the house anyway.

"As he stepped into the circle of yellow light thrown by the lantern she saw that he was a person of gentlemanly bearing, dressed in a gray suit of tweeds, with a cloth cap. He wore gaiters, and carried a heavy stick with a knob to it."

I will not make the joke. I will not make the joke. I will not make the joke.

A wizard's staff has a knob on the end.

...that was not the joke I was intending to make, but sure. Let's go with that. Enter stage left: A wizard with a knob on the end of his staff.

“‘Oh, indeed! What a stroke of luck!’ he cried. ‘I understand that a stable-boy sleeps there alone every night. Perhaps that is his supper which you are carrying to him. Now I am sure that you would not be too proud to earn the price of a new dress, would you?’ He took a piece of white paper folded up out of his waistcoat pocket. ‘See that the boy has this to-night, and you shall have the prettiest frock that money can buy.’"

If this guy isn't a deliberate plant, he is the worst at this. 'I understand that a stable-boy sleeps there alone every night.' How tf do you understand that if you came upon this place by accident. Also, creepy thing to say. Also 'I got lost on the moor, but I just happen to have this piece of paper in my coat for the stable-boy who is guarding the stable tonight, purely by accident.'

And that's not even getting into the creepy condescension of the 'you shall have the prettiest frock' bullshit. He's got to be doing this on purpose, right. You don't just walk up to someone and start throwing red flags at them while wearing a hat saying 'I'm totally trustworthy, wink'.

“‘Good-evening,’ said he, looking through the window. ‘I wanted to have a word with you.’"

Woman literally ran away from you rather than speak to him, and he's just like, 'I should keep going'. Read the room, or the...stableyard, I guess. But still, this man must be putting this on. I cannot believe anyone is this bad at anything. He's a deliberate decoy made of red flags.

"The girl fled away to the house, but as she ran she looked back and saw that the stranger was leaning through the window."

Right, so he left the message with Ned Hunter, then. Who may or may not be an accomplice in this.

"The door was open; inside, huddled together upon a chair, Hunter was sunk in a state of absolute stupor, the favorite's stall was empty, and there were no signs of his trainer."

I guess the 'you can only drink from the stable tap' rule didn't work, then. Who could have seen that coming? I guess Sus Wizard could have drugged Ned's food through the window. But that doesn't explain how he could have opened the stable, though. I'm inclined to think that Ned was in on it, but then I am a naturally suspicious person, and this feels like an inside job. I know earlier in the story it says that all of the stable boys are of excellent character, but that's hardly evidence. Locked stable - someone got in and got away? Inside job seems the most likely. Then drug yourself to say 'who, me? couldn't have been!'

"...he was wounded on the thigh, where there was a long, clean cut, inflicted evidently by some very sharp instrument. It was clear, however, that Straker had defended himself vigorously against his assailants, for in his right hand he held a small knife, which was clotted with blood up to the handle"

Or... he cut himself with his own knife.

"But from that morning he has disappeared, and although a large reward has been offered, and all the gypsies of Dartmoor are on the alert, no news has come of him."

Oh, hey. So no one is blaming the travellers. I stand corrected. Cool cool.

"He did not attempt to deny that he had acted as described upon the evening before, but declared that he had no sinister designs, and had simply wished to obtain first-hand information."

Is the sus wizard just an incompetent creepy buffoon? Is he really not involved at all? If so, wow. Guy needs to work on just... everything. Absolutely everything.

“Is in not possible,” I suggested, “that the incised wound upon Straker may have been caused by his own knife in the convulsive struggles which follow any brain injury?” “It is more than possible; it is probable,”

Yep. Glad we're all agreed on that. This would be a lot easier to clear up with DNA, but alas you are trapped in the Victorian era still.

"Two gentlemen were awaiting us in the station—the one a tall, fair man with lion-like hair and beard and curiously penetrating light blue eyes; the other a small, alert person, very neat and dapper, in a frock-coat and gaiters, with trim little side-whiskers and an eye-glass. The latter was Colonel Ross, the well-known sportsman; the other, Inspector Gregory, a man who was rapidly making his name in the English detective service."

At first I thought the animal description was of the colonel, but no, obviously it is of Inspector Gregory (not to be confused with Inspector Gregson, who is the bulldog). Lion is a little more generous a description than 'ferret'. Poor Lestrade.

"At the same time I recognize that the evidence is purely circumstantial, and that some new development may upset it.”

Holy shit! Someone is acknowledging that evidence is circumstantial! This is huge. Congratulations Inspector Gregory you win a sticker for achieving competency level 1. Woo!

“We have quite come to the conclusion that he wounded himself in his fall.” “My friend Dr. Watson made that suggestion to me as we came down. If so, it would tell against this man Simpson.”

Aw, Holmes giving Watson the credit for figuring that bit out, even though he'd already worked it out himself. That's sweet.

“Why should he take the horse out of the stable? If he wished to injure it why could he not do it there?"

Alright, interesting question. Who would want to steal the horse, rather than injure it. People who care about horses for reasons other than money. This again points to people in the stable, or people who work with horses (Also just... reasonable people, because hurting an animal like that is pretty horrible, but we're looking for plot relevant reasons). So someone from this stable, or someone from the nearby Lord Backwater's stable (where they conveniently have the second favourite, who presumably would win if Silver Blaze was out of the way).

"Above all, where could he, a stranger to the district, hide a horse, and such a horse as this?"

I have an idea about that. But I won't say because I think I am remembering things now, and I won't give it away.

Has anyone seen the film Charade? You should, it's pretty good. Also relevant here for reasons that I won't say because spoilers.

“We have found traces which show that a party of gypsies encamped on Monday night within a mile of the spot where the murder took place. On Tuesday they were gone. Now, presuming that there was some understanding between Simpson and these gypsies, might he not have been leading the horse to them when he was overtaken, and may they not have him now?”

...

And you were doing so well.

Apparently there's no connection to the other stables, although there has to be a connection to something somewhere. So far we have three places the horse might be: wandering the moor, with the travellers, or in the other stables. I suppose he could also be being hidden in the same stable as before for some sort of insurance grab. What was insurance like in Victorian times?

Wandering on the moor is a possibility, if he escaped his horsenappers, I'm pretty sure the travellers are, like I said before, a racist red herring to play on readers' prejudices, so that leaves one of the stables. Given that the stable Silver Blaze was taken from only has four horses max, it would be really difficult to hide a horse in it without someone noticing. That leaves the other stables. OR... a fifth option that we haven't been introduced to yet. Maybe he's pulling the carriage that they rolled up in? That'd be a funny ending.

[bowelfly]

while i usually keep this blog focused on art and bugs, movies are my third big passion, and since i don't believe in streaming services i don't have a spotify wrapped for 2022 to show off but i do have a letterboxd account so i felt like going through my 2022 movie watching stats. this post is basically for me alone and will be obnoxiously long so i'll put in a read more thing here out of courtesy:

ooh so close to almost 1000 hours of movies! still 718 films is pretty good, though that does also include around 80 or so shorts, mostly animations, that i also logged.

i was averaging around 2 movies per day for the year. being 500 miles away from all your friends, family, and partner does give you a lot of free time it turns out. the most movies i watched in a single week, december 10-16, was 28. the weeks i only watched a couple things were either when i was visiting my partner or too depressed to even watch movies

one of the things i've done this year to keep myself sane in isolation was to stream movies for friends. however since i have multiple non-overlapping friend groups, there were a number of movies i watched multiple times because i have a deep psychological and emotional need to share weird shit with the people i care about. NOVA SEED, FANTASY MISSION FORCE, and BUDDHA'S PALM were the triple crown winners this year.

i only watched 7 movies that came out in 2022. my sweet spot is genre movies made from the late 70s through the mid-90s which you can see clearly if you look at my lifetime stats. predictably, i have very strong opinions about practical effects and stunts and film stock

my ratings spread for 2022 is about what it normally is for other years with a lot of things ending up in the 3.5-4 star range. maybe i'm just generous with my stars or maybe i just like what i like and try to not watch things i won't like unless they're bad in a fun way but i really feel like i've been moving away from the whole so-bad-its-good thing over the years and focusing on things that i unironically like--though these are often films that other people do categorize as bad or so-bad-its-good.

my most watched actors is a bunch of golden age hong kong dudes because i went super hard on the kung fu and wuxia films this year. like about half of these are big name stars and the other half are less well-known character actors that still are in like 200 movies playing assorted emperors and evil administrators. really glad to see my main man lo lieh running away with first place. he's most well known for playing evil white-haired kung fu masters usually named pai mei or variations of that, but he's also played the protagonist or antihero of a number of great films like FIVE FINGERS OF DEATH or THE FUGITIVE (1972, not the harrison ford one). my favorite role of his is without question Bi Gu of East Island the rascally kung fu wizard who hollers his name from offscreen before every time he enters a scene in BUDDHA'S PALM (1982).

also very pleased to see one of my favorite american character actors, brion james squeaking his way onto the list, though sad that he got separated from his best friend and frequent collaborator tim thomerson, who i think is just below the cut here.

most watched directors. i've been a huge fan of the very recently deceased albert pyun for years now, largely on the strength of his absolute god-tier masterpiece NEMESIS (1992) though he has a number of other very entertaining movies (RADIOACTIVE DREAMS, CYBORG) and also a cavalcade of very bad movies that are nonetheless all fascinating in their own ways. i could go on about him at length but this post is long enough. maybe another time.

other than that, chor yuen (THE MAGIC BLADE, DESCENDANT OF THE SUN) and chang cheh (CRIPPLED AVENGERS, FIVE ELEMENT NINJAS) are gods of early wuxia cinema and fucking rule, and keita amemiya's 90s work (ZEIRAM, MECHANICAL VIOLATOR HAKAIDER, CYBER NINJA) are pinnacles of kickass japanese practical effects work.

i also watched a lot of russ meyer and john waters films because i'm a pevert.

this is mostly just a reminder to check out my WUXIA WIZARD WARS tumblr post and letterboxd list if you like movies about wizards shooting lasers at each other and summoning fucked up monsters and shit like that

finally, because i have a brain disease, i made a list of the 100 best films i watched this year, mostly first-time watches but probably like 15-20 rewatches that i especially enjoyed or think more people should know about or give another shot. if i didn't already have way too many projects i'd consider setting up another sideblog just going through all these one by one with reviews and screenshots but that's a lot of work and i am a tired old man. i might give an occasional highlight post like i did for THE BARON AGAINST THE DEMONS

and i guess that's about it? this has been an especially heavy year for golden age hong kong kung fu and wuxia films but i explored a lot of other interesting places and times and genres and microgenres and have a lot more i plan on checking out next year. i've got stacks and stacks of unwatched japanese V-cinema and pinku violence and kaiju and tokusatsu films; tons of giallo and hammer horror and eurotrash lesbian vampire flicks; classic westerns, revisionist westerns, spaghetti westerns; SOV horror, eastern european stop motion, hong kong CAT III sleaze, russian postapocalyptic dirges, poliziotteschi, krimi, and noir films; AIP and PM Entertainment action schlock; italian mad max ripoffs, italian alien ripoffs, italian conan ripoffs; approximately 300 movies with NINJA, BLOOD, or SHAOLIN in their titles; and probably some other shit too.

finally, if you've made it this far and you're a nasty little film freak like me i'll let you in on a secret: i have copies of every single one of these movies on my hard drive. literally thousands of movies dug out of dozens of digital dumpsters with my own two greasy grabby raccoon paws. if any of them particularly catch your interest but you can't find a copy, well you can maybe slip old professor bfly a little private request and get yourself a copy of whatever you need. it may take some time since i only have so many google drive accounts unless someone wants to subsidize a deluxe mega.nz subscription for me to mass-upload things to. i also have a soulseek account sharing the entire hoard but it's very slow and not always online but you can DM me for that as well. again though you may have to be patient because i am old and tired and slow and have a full time job and a hundred dumb hobbies and social anxiety and generalized brain damage

happy new year everyone now go watch a movie about some dudes kicking the shit out of each other for me