#even if i ignored that he very much indicates that he doesn't think he'd make a good parent

[galedekarios]

ngl my eyes are rolling out of my head when i see ppl claim gale is stable enough to take care of children.

never mind that nothing he says indicates at all that he even wants them in the first place.

unlike shadowheart, for example. unlike wyll or lae'zel, who have entire adoption subplots in the epilogue.

this is the man who you had to talk down from becoming a god five minutes ago because of his profound loss of faith and feeling left so adrift shook him so deeply and to his very core that he's not even in a secure place in his relationship with the protag yet.

i also don't understand what it is with gale in particular that has people like nah, i'm just going to ignore and chalk it up to insecurity that he doesn't think he would be father material.

where did that come from?

personally, i see it more as him establishing his boundaries in a relationship - since that was his assumption what the conversation would be about in the first place when the player initiates it about opening their relationship up.

also again, i feel like it needs pointing out, but there's more to parenthood than being able to cook or knit.

[hotyanderedaddies]

Trying to Ignore a Yandere Demon Who Wants to Claim You

[Yandere! Demon x GN! Anxious Reader]

·゜·:.。..。.:·☆·゜·:.。..。.:·☆

"Whatever you do, do not-- I repeat: DO NOT acknowledge the demon in any manner. If you do, then he can latch onto you and take you."

The words of the psychic you'd contacted for help kept filtering through your head as you stared blankly forward, forcing your eyes to laser focus in on the bright colors of the TV. The volume was on full blast as you attempted to drown out the sounds of him.

"Darling," that eerie, deep voice echoed out. Its user was so close that could feel its hot breath wafting over your cheek, but you refused to give the slightest indication that you'd heard it.

"If a love demon decides that it wants you, then it'll follow you around nonstop like a lovesick puppy. It'll do anything to get you to notice it..."

The demon playfully ran one of his fingers through your hair, his skin hot to the touch. He completely dwarfed you, looking like he outweighed you by fifty pounds of pure muscle and was taller by at least two feet. His demonic proportions made him look hulking and menacing, yet whenever he looked at you, his mouth pulled into a large smile.... full of razor sharp teeth.

"Will you look at me, Darling?" he asked, sticking out his lower lip mockingly. "I love you. I only want to talk to my darling."

"Don't look at it. Don't listen to it. Don't react to its movements. The slightest indication that you're aware of its presence is a sign the demon takes that you've agreed to be theirs..."

The demon huffed, irritated. He stomped his way in front of the TV and glared at you with his glowing eyes. "I know you see me," he accused.

You refused to stop glancing forward, pretending that you could still see whatever show you were trying to watch.

The demon tore his shirt away from his body, showing off his impressive chest muscles. He held his arms out, as if to show off to you. "Check it out, Darling," he announced, "I'm bigger than most of the other love demons. So I can protect you and take very good care of you."

He slowly approached the couch.

"Because a love demon makes its presence known to only one person: their darling."

"I love you so much, Darling," the demon cooed, placing both of his hands on either side of your face.

You winced internally and tried your best to look deadpan, avoiding the demon's glare with all of your might.

You refused to break, because if you did, then you'd belong to a demon for all eternity.

But damn it, he was persistent.

Ever since he'd made his presence known to you last week, the demon followed you around everywhere you went, trying to get you to acknowledge him:

He'd cause a ruckus in class, throwing textbooks and chairs around, leading to the other students thinking that you were out of your mind and throwing them yourself.

He'd follow you into the shower and jerk off as you bathed, talking about how he couldn't wait to touch you himself.

He'd sing soft lullabies to you as you tried to sleep. And he would frequently get under the covers with you too, snuggling you from behind.

He'd follow you whenever you went grocery shopping, threatening to push one of the elderly shoppers in front of one of the moving vehicles in the parking lot. But you couldn't warn the other person unless you wanted to be taken by a demon. RIP.

He'd even gone so far as to set your dinner on the stove on fire, and you had to mutter loudly that you'd foolishly forgotten to turn the gas off.

He was growing impatient.

"Darling," the demon growled, baring his large teeth at you, "all you have to do is notice me, and I promise that you'll be all mine. All mine, and no one else's. Doesn't my sweet baby want that?"

He bit down on his lower lip for a second before perking up.

Before you could guess what was going on in his mischievous head, the demon pressed his warm lips against yours. They were soft to the touch and warm thanks to his high body heat.

It felt good at first, until he playfully bit down on your lower lip--

With a loud gasp, you jerked back and made eye contact with the demon out of shock. Oh shit...

"Finally!" the love demon laughed as your heart fell to the floor.

He lunged forward and wrapped both of his arms around you, yanking you deep into his embrace as if he were a cage. The temperature seemed to rise rapidly in the tiny living room as the demon began to transport you to wherever he dwelled, and to wherever you knew he'd never let you leave.

"W-wait!" you tried to beg.

"It's too late for that, Darling," the love demon laughed. "You're mine and I'm going to enjoy my prize all night long. I love you, Darling, thank you so much for accepting me."

"If you acknowledge the love demon, they'll take you away to be theirs forever, with no hope of ever escaping them or their crazed love..."

[very-straight-blog]

It really tires me how some fans try to make Aegon look like an asshole who doesn't give a shit about anything. This is a fundamental misunderstanding of his character as such. Of course he cares, that's literally the essence of his personality. He cares. He and Aemond both feel too much emotion, but if Aemond sublimates into self–improvement, trying to be strong, cold and detached, then Aegon is literally an open wound. I want to talk about this, also using Tom's interviews (yes, I think the actor's opinion is valid in this matter) and the few scenes that we have in the first season.

We know that Aegon didn't want the throne and wasn't ready to rule. The scene with Alicent, who explains to him the prospects for the future of their family, seems very traumatic to me. Imagine what it's like to know from your childhood that the lives of people close to you depend on you, on how strong you'll be. Such a burden can destroy anyone. You can't just ignore it.

Next, we're shown how Aegon drinks on Driftmark. And that's a pretty sad sight - several cups in a row, wincing, as if taking a medicine that will help him to feel better.

Actually, I like the theory that he gets drunk after Aemond says that Helaena is his future queen. Another reminder that he'll have to marry his own sister, for whom he has no feelings. And he drinks because he tries to numb his pain.

The same goes for his obviously unhealthy attitude towards sex - he uses it to numb his loneliness. I believe that Aegon literally didn't have the opportunity to feel what love is in any form. His father disliked him and showed it openly. His mother loved him, but she never knew how to express it the way he needed to. He was married to his sister (the tragedy for both of them) and it was a matter of duty, not feelings. At the time of the first season, Aegon is deeply unhappy and this is obvious. I have every reason to believe that his need for physical intimacy is based on the fact that this is the only form of love he can receive. Considering that Aegon is quite smart, I even think that he himself understands how ugly this form is, but there's nothing he can do. During the act, I guess in some unhealthy way it really saves him from loneliness, longing and the need to be loved, but in the end it makes him even more unhappy.

Then it's impossible not to remember the eighth episode and the famous:

It's still clear that family is important to him. Yes, he feels like a stranger among his relatives, but it hurts him just because he cares. He cries and says "it will never be enough for you or father" because he wants it to be enough. He still loves them and wants them to love him back.

"What Aegon wants more than anything is to be told by his dad ‘I have faith in your capabilities as a young man. I see you bringing prosperity to King’s Landing.’ But he hasn’t said any of those things. His dad has completely ignored him, in fact, throughout his entire youth." (с) Tom Glynn-Carney for Esquire

Next, we can move on to episode nine and the fact that Aegon ran away. I've seen a lot of opinions that this is an indicator of selfishness and like...what? He was scared. This follows from the script:

He was scared, he'd never leave his family, much less Sunfyre. It was a decision made in a panic when he realized that his father had died and the moment he had feared all his life had come - he needed to accept the crown to protect his family.

During the conversation in the carriage, we see that Aegon was really hurt that his father didn't love him:

He even said "because he didn't like me" when talking about his father's attitude towards him. He didn't use the word "love" because it was obvious to him that his father didn't love him. He used the word "like", unknowingly emphasizing that he couldn't count on even simple sympathy.

He's also well aware that Viserys could have named him the heir, but didn't do so simply because he didn't want to and because of this, he - the eldest son, feels unworthy of the throne, and also completely lost.

When Alicent tells him that Viserys wanted to make him the heir before his death, an emotional dam breaks inside him, it's literally written in the script:

And at this moment, looking at the dagger, he's not even listening to Alicent, he's completely in his thoughts - maybe, at least for a second, his father cared about him. And when he asks his mother if she loves him, we see how much he craves love, how broken he really is, how important his family is to him.

I know this post is insanely long and I haven't even analyzed the various microexpressions in Tom's acting, but I'm really tired of people wanting to make Aegon something pure evil.

"I also see Aegon as being incredibly complex. He's not an out-and-out psychopath. I see a multilayered character that just has endless potential of pits of vulnerability and empathy and things that we don't see. I think it's his vulnerability that breeds the darkness. It's the way he copes, it's his security, it's his safety blanket, it's an addictive coping mechanism for him to shut things out and to be cold." (с) Tom Glynn-Carney for Entertainment Weekly

[dreamingundone]

When The Morning Comes

Pairing: Jake “Hangman” Seresin x OFC (could be read as reader-insert, no use of Y/N) Summary: Jake doesn’t do serious. He was really upfront and honest about that. So why is he he one getting really tired of saying goodbye every morning? Rating: PG-13 for swears. Words: 3K+ Author’s Note: Here I am again writing fic in the year 2023 because I haven’t stopped thinking about Jake Seresin since last summer. This is slightly Band of Brothers adjacent because I’m incapable of putting away that particular hyper-fixation but you don’t need to know anything about it to understand this. Disclaimer: I don’t own the character Jake or Top Gun: Maverick. Please don’t re-post or translate my work without my permission. There's probably some inaccuracies here though I did my best to Google a few things, but even so, please be nice.

He watches her as she works out of the corner of his eye. He tells himself that he's not seeking her out every time he wanders the corridors at the hangar, but it just happens.

She's impossible to ignore.

There's a sinking feeling in his gut as she very much doesn't make eye contact with him, and in fact, she brushes by him as she leaves the room without so much as a glance.

"All set?" He asks Rooster gruffly, who arches an eyebrow.

"Didn't think you cared so much, Hangman." He gets up from the exam table, hands brushing over the thin line of stitches near his eyebrow.

Jake rolls his eyes.

"Oh!" Rooster says suddenly, eyes lighting up. "It's not me you're here for--"

"Shut up."

Bradshaw's not lying though, which makes Jake grit his teeth even harder.

"Secret's safe with me." He says with a wink, leaving Jake standing in Sick Bay by himself, questioning basically every life decision he's made to get to this point.

.

Six months earlier

"Listen up!" Maverick calls over the din, and when he can't get anyone's attention except for Dagger Squad, Admiral Bates does the job with a sharp whistle.

The hangar goes quiet, and they sit quietly as they listen to the mission briefing. Three months of training, and then they'll be shipped out to God knows where for God knows how long.

While he's pretty used to this particular way of life by now, he sees some of the other squads he doesn't know sharing nervous looks.

There's a group standing closer to the door that he's never had the pleasure to interact with - the medical staff from Sick Bay. The doctors look bored, but there's a new medic who's caught his eye from the minute he walked into the room.

She's taking notes or something, and Jake smirks as she looks up, meeting his eyes briefly. She rolls her eyes and looks back to her notebook, which only makes him smile wider.

He introduces himself the first time he gets a chance, later at the Hard Deck.

"I'm Jake," he says, holding out a hand.

"Good for you." She says, not looking up from her phone.

"Waiting on someone?"

"Someone else, definitely."

There's something about the way she says it - there's no heat in her words really, even though he knows she's trying to put him off. Look -- everyone thinks Jake is an asshole, and he knows he can be sometimes, but he doesn't want to stick around where he's clearly not wanted, even if all he wants to do is sit here with her and learn everything there is to know about her.

"Enjoy your drink," he says, and leaves her there looking a little surprised, if the crease between her brows is any indication.

.

It's a few days later when he has an excuse to see her again, though not under the circumstances he would have wished.

He's being semi-held up between Javy and Rooster, and he's scowling. "I'm fine," he grumbles.

"Sure, tell that to the control panel you smashed your head off of." Javy says, and Jake would roll his eyes, it's just that he can't really see straight, so he thinks he'd just pass out.

Okay, so he had to emergency land. At least he didn't have to eject.

"Put him here." He hears her voice, kind but authoritative. "Lieutenant Seresin, I thought I told you the other night I wasn't interested."

Javy snorts, and Rooster bites back a grin.

"Desperate times calls for desperate measures." Jake says, groaning as he lies back on the exam table.

Then she's there, looming over him, and the irony isn't lost on him that this is the first time she's looking him directly in the eye. Well, her and her flashlight, anyway.

"Pupils a bit larger than I'd like." She mutters. He finds himself really unable to do anything other than watch her as his vision wavers. "Concussion, obviously." She says. "Is the light bothering you?"

"A little." He answers.

She hums in sympathy. "You need stitches. Give me a minute." She says, and then her warmth is gone, and the bright light overhead is all he can see, making him close his eyes.

He sighs. This really isn't the impression he wanted to make.

Dimly, he registers Javy and Rooster leaving the room, saying they needed to go tell the rest of the Daggers how he was doing. He's sure Phoenix and Bob are pacing somewhere. Mav, too.

"Stupid." He mutters.

"What?" She asks, sounding offended.

"Nothing. Not you." He says, eyes opening as she leans over him again, hissing when she wipes an antiseptic over his forehead. "A little warning would have been nice."

"Don't be a baby." She chides, face full of determination. "Stay still."

He lets her work for a few minutes before he tries again. "I meant that I felt stupid for this."

She meets his eyes quickly. "Sounded like you did what you had to do so you didn't kill yourself."

"You were listening?" He asks, surprised. He feels dumber that he didn't realize that. Of course the medics were on standby.

"It's my job." She says. She pauses for a minute, glancing at her wrist. Her wristwatch is turned the wrong way round, so the face of it is on the inside. It's very military, and it makes him smile. It's how he can spot another Navy guy a mile away.

Hers is different than his, though, the face worn and scratched.

"Is that thing even ticking?" He asks as she gets back to work.

Her tongue is between her teeth as she completes the next few stiches, the sight making him a little distracted.

"It was my great-grandfather's."

He feels like he's bothering her, so he doesn't ask any more questions, but she surprises him by continuing.

"He's the reason I wanted to get into medicine. He was an Army medic."

"And that was his service watch?"

"Made it through the drop to Normandy and back."

Jake's eyebrows rise. "A paratrooper."

She nods. "He died before I was old enough to figure out what I wanted to do, but this watch has kept on ticking. Feels like I've got him over my shoulder advising me on what to do."

"That's really nice." Jake says honestly, and again he catches a surprised look on her face.

"I'm sorry," she says, maybe seeing the way his features droop. "You can sit up," she says off-hand before continuing. "I wasn't really fair to you. I've just-- to be honest, I've heard some things. Made me think..."

Jake nods. He knows what everyone says. And to be fair, he's never given anyone other than his friends any reason to doubt the rumors about him. What's the point? He'd rather let everyone on North Island think what they want than spending time fighting his reputation. It's not worth it, especially when he leaves often for months at a time.

"Anyway. That wasn't fair. I'm sorry."

He shakes his head, pasting on a smile he doesn't really feel. "No harm done. I don't really... I don't really do serious. So the rumors aren't far off." He doesn't know why he says it. It's the truth - he's scared of getting attached. He's no good at being someone's boyfriend and he knows it. But still -- it feels weird to say it out loud to her.

"Well. Okay then, Lieutenant. You're going to be grounded for awhile, unfortunately. Come back next week and we'll see how you're doing."

.

Over the next few weeks, they do more mission prep, which means the medical team and the Daggers are together more often than not. They'll all be together as a wing on the carrier, and it's important that everyone knows all the details of every minute of the mission.

They have enough downtime too, and that's where he really finds himself in deep trouble. All because of her.

Phoenix has taking a liking to her, and really, everyone else has too. It's hard not to like her.

He's watching her now, contemplative eyes as he tilts his beer bottle back to his lips, and his heart does a funny little flip at the sound of her laugh.

He's surprised when she makes her way over to him at the end of the night, elbowing him lightly.

"All alone, Hangman?"

He smiles wryly. "Only got room in my heart for one lucky lady, Doc."

The nickname was her great-grandfather's, and it's stuck to her too. The first time Mav called her that, she got a little misty-eyed, and Jake found it so endearing he could barely look at her.

She rolls her eyes. "You get back up in the air tomorrow."

He nods, having been cleared by the medical team earlier that day. He can't wait. He misses the adrenaline and the sound of the engines roaring underneath him.

"Thanks to you," he says, nudging her in return. She'd been like a drill sergeant the last few weeks, watching him like a hawk to make sure he stuck to paperwork and didn't overwork himself while he recovered from his concussion.

"Just doing my job." Her standard answer. He thinks it's interesting that someone so confident has a hard time accepting any praise.

"No, it's something else." He says, taking another pull from his bottle. "You were born to do this, I think. You've got a special touch."

She blinks rapidly, and for a horrifying moment, he thinks she might cry. She clears her throat. "How many of those have you had?" She gestures towards the bottle in his hand. "I said one beer, Seresin."

"Not even a full one." He assures her. "And I mean that, Doc."

The way she's looking at him sends his heart racing. Is she--? No, he's imagining it, that she looks like she's leaning in a little, her lips parted invitingly. That's impossible.

"Thank you, Jake." She says softly, and it's the first time she's ever called him by his first name. It takes everything inside of him to stop from leaning into her a little bit more, and in the end he doesn't fight it.

They sit there, side by side, shoulder to shoulder, in a comfortable silence for the rest of the night. And if her pinky brushes his just a little on the bartop, he doesn't draw attention to it. He just lets it happen, enjoying the warmth unfurling inside of him.

.

The briefing where they get their assignments for the mission is tense. This is a dangerous one. Top secret, and not even the medic team is allowed in the room with the Daggers while they get briefed.

There's some speculation that they won't even come along - that this mission is so secret, the fewer eyes on it, the better.

It makes something twist inside him, the thought that he might not see her until he comes home from deployment. He hasn't had that feeling in a really, really long time.

Afterwards, he's wandering the corridors aimlessly when he quite literally runs smack into her.

"Oh!" She says, surprised, and he grabs at her arms instinctively, holding her upright.

"Sorry, Doc."

"Are you okay?" She asks, narrowing her eyes at him.

"Fine. I--" He looks up, meeting her eyes. "Will you go to dinner with me?"

She swallows. "What?"

"Look, I'm not looking for anything serious. I'm starting to think you aren't either. But I also like you, and I'd like to take you to dinner. If you want." It all comes out in a rush.

"Okay." She says quietly.

"Okay?"

"Okay." She repeats.

.

They don't even make it through dinner.

He's so distracted by the sight of her in civilian clothes that he can barely form a coherent sentence all night.

It must show on his face, and he really feels like an asshole for it, but she also responds to it, so he doesn't stop himself from staring at her, not this time.

Somewhere in the middle of the dinner course, she puts down her fork. "Are you going to take me home now?"

He doesn't think he's ever scribbled his signature on a check so fast in his life.

After that it's all a blur of heated gazes, wandering hands, and finally, mouths meeting. It's all flushed skin and, for Jake, trembling hands. He tries not to examine that particular fact too much.

In the morning, she leaves before he wakes up. He feels a little weird about it, but it's also how it has to be. It's how he's always done things. And if that's good for her too, even better.

.

They go on like that for weeks. He tries not to think about how each morning it's harder and harder to watch her get dressed in the haze when she thinks he's still asleep.

He tries not to think about how she always looks back over her shoulder before she goes, something soft in her eyes.

He tries not to count down the days between now and his deployment date.

On a Friday morning, he's making no show of the fact that he's awake when she slides out from under the sheets and starts dressing.

"You could stay." He says, voice a little hoarse.

She pauses, but pulls her shirt over her head. "Don't do that." She says, voice quiet but firm.

"Just for breakfast."

"This is what you wanted, Jake. I'm just trying to make this easy for both of us."

His face twists. "And I can't change my mind?"

"Actually, no." She says, voice harsh. "Because you've said to me a hundred times that you weren't looking for anything serious. Staying longer, spending days together... that's serious. I'm just doing what you wanted."

Maybe I don't want that anymore. The thought rattles around in his brain, but he doesn't say it.

"It doesn't have to mean anything." He says without thinking, and the look she gives him is withering.

"You've been doing your best not to let any of this mean anything, Seresin."

"We're going by last names now?"

"For fuck's sake, Jake!" She hisses, tugging her pants on. "I should have trusted my instincts with you. I should have listened to my gut."

He sits up straighter now, hurt lacing his tone. "So you've just been miserable for the last few weeks, right? None of this has been pleasurable for you, and that's my fault."

"I didn't say that."

"You know what? Don't let me keep you. Must have been a moment of insanity." He says, voice hard. "You're right. Keep it simple, keep it meaningless. That's perfect."

She doesn't say anything else as she gathers the rest of her stuff and slams the door behind her.

He doesn't see her again until the final mission briefing before deployment.

They're being deployed to the same carrier. That wasn't supposed to happen. The whole reason he decided to take a chance, to finally act on these feelings that he's afraid to identify... it was spurred on by the idea that he may come back in a year to find her elsewhere.

Their eyes meet across the hangar. There's nothing friendly in them now.

He swallows hard. This is going to be a shit-show.

.

They're out in the middle of the goddamned ocean when he, yet again, has to race to Rooster's rescue. It's not nearly as terrifying as the last time it happened, but he's still furious at his friend for risking his life once again. Rooster skids into the carrier with his landing gear barely hanging on, and the rough landing has him doing his best impression of Jake himself all those months ago when he nearly smashed his face into the control panel.

He has to help Rooster get to the Sick Bay because he can't do it on his own, and no matter how much he wants to avoid seeing her, he needs to get help, and Doc is the best, there's no doubt about it.

They ignore each other, though he watches her. He can't help it. She handles Rooster like he's the most important person in the room, and it twists something inside Jake, though he knows that's what makes her invaluable.

She leaves before he can say anything to her.

"All set?" He asks Rooster gruffly, who arches an eyebrow.

"Didn't think you cared so much, Hangman." He gets up from the exam table, hands brushing over the thin line of stitches near his eyebrow.

Jake rolls his eyes.

"Oh!" Rooster says suddenly, eyes lighting up. "It's not me you're here for--"

"Shut up."

Bradshaw's not lying though, which makes Jake grit his teeth even harder.

"Secret's safe with me." He says with a wink, leaving Jake standing in Sick Bay by himself, questioning basically every life decision he's made to get to this point.

In the corridor outside Sick Bay, she's lingering. Pacing.

Jake stops. He's not sure how to get past her without speaking to her. And truthfully, he knows he owes her an apology. He owes her more than that, but he doesn't know how.

"He's going to be okay," She says. "Just so you know."

"I know. Had you fixing him up, after all."

"You sounded scared on the comms."

He shakes his head. "He's reckless."

"He's your friend. It's okay to worry." It's okay to feel things, she doesn't say, but he hears it like she shouted it.

He puts his hands on his hips. "I worry a lot, actually. I worry about a lot of things."

She's just watching him warily, and he goes on, actually unable to stop rambling.

"I worried from the second I met you that I was going to fall in love with you, and that's exactly what happened."

Her mouth falls open, and he plows on.

"I worried that if I let myself get too close, I'd never recover when inevitably you found someone better than me. I didn't think we were getting deployed together. I thought I'd never see you again, that I'd come home and you'd have found someone that deserves you. So I put a boundary there, and I never should have. Even when you respected it, I got angry with you. Because I did want more."

"Jake, what the fuck?" She breathes, and he laughs.

"I know. I'm an asshole, and I'm sorry. I just-- I couldn't stop myself. With every little thing I learned about you, I just fell a little harder. And that was never the deal. So even when you acted like... like you could've felt the same way, I didn't give you the chance." He smiles, but it's more like a wince. "Call it self preservation, I guess."

"You're so stupid, Lieutenant Seresin." Her voice is shaky. "As if I would have thought about anyone else for a year, even if we were separated."

His head snaps back up to meet her eyes. "Doc?"

"I've been falling for you this whole time too, you idiot. And the only reason I didn't want to stay that morning was because I'd worked so hard to stop myself wanting more than you were willing to give."

"I'm sorry."

"You keep saying that."

"I can keep saying it, if it helps."

She takes two quick strides in his direction while they're alone, and kisses him. Quick and hard, it sets his skin afire and his heart pounding.

"Back to work, Hangman." She says against his lips as she lowers herself down to her feet. "We'll talk about this later." Her thumb presses into the dimple on his cheek.

"If I have to, Doc." He says, and this time when he watches her walk away, he knows it's for the last time.

He's not going to let her out of his sight for a long time, if he can help it.

[jangofettjamz]

Turn It Off!

Gentle!Wednesday x Autistic!Male!Reader

Summary: Wednesday comforts you after Enid almost sends you into sensory overload.

Words: 1076

Wednesday POV

Normally I would resent anyone who would even dare to think of asking me out, but that all changed when a particular psychic boy asked me to be his friend, and soon to be boyfriend.

Y/N L/N, a real gem among idiots.

I instantly took a liking to him, he's different from everything else and I soon came to find out why.

Y/N has autism spectrum disorder, which would be a valid explanation for some of his behaviour since coming to nevermore.

He's extremely shy, when he asked me to be his friend he almost broke at the seams. He's really nervous during any kind of social interaction with those he doesn't know.

Loud noises are especially irritable for him. Wolves howling in the quad would be torture for him, making him put his headphones on the second he sees them about to howl.

Meltdowns. Some imbecile thought it was funny to blast an air horn into his ears during lunch break, the result was Y/N having a meltdown with no one able to help him.

When we started talking I knew he felt a connection to me, he was a bit scared of me but also intrigued.

He's vastly intelligent, easily an IQ of 160. He's truly gifted with intelligence and that's coming from me. I'm not one to be humble.

When we started dating I took him to the weathervane, I didn't want to scare him like I did with everyone else. He's a fragile boy and didn't deserve that.

I wanted to protect him, to care for him and help where everyone elsen had failed him.

I love everything about him. I love the he'd hide his hands in his sleeves when he's shy. I love the way he talks about his favourite things in great detail. I love the way he could come to me when he's upset.

I love him, so very very much.

-

Me, Enid and Y/N are currently studying for our botany test next week. Enid, as usual, is procrastinating while me and Y/N have been studying since the test was announced.

We both go to reach for the eraser on the desk next to us, only for our hands to touch. I kissed the top of his hand making him blush madly, he really is cute; I hate myself for using that word.

Enid is dancing around her room being the foolish lycan that she is, she never ceases to amaze me how foolish she can be, its actually quite remarkable.

Suddenly, she decided it was a good idea to start blasting her incessant music out of her speakers, causing Y/N to cover his ears and whimper out of discomfort.

"Enid, turn it off" I said with a warning tone, though she only chose to ignore me and do her embarrassing dance moves in front of my face. Y/N began to whimper louder, making my anger with Enid rise to new heights.

"Enid turn it off!" I said louder; no effect was made.

"Why? It's getting boring in here, let's have some fun!" She said loudly, only adding to Y/N's discomfort. I was furious.

"ENID!" I shout, startling the both of them. "Can't you see that Y/N is getting upset because of your music blasting his ear drums apart, he's sensitive to noise you imbecile!" She looked over to Y/N to see him curled up in a ball with his hands over his ears, a guilty expression painting her face.

I point my finger to the door. "Get out" is all I say. She obeys and walks out with her head hung low. She knows about his noise sensitivity and yet she still does this, the audacity of some people.

Though my anger was strong and prevalent, I still heard faint whimpers from my side of the room. Y/N was still feeling uncomfortable after all that noise and was curled up in a ball on the floor by my desk. Thing was trying his best to comfort him, but nothing seemed to work.

I walk over to him and sit down opposite him with a gentle smile on my face. I patted my knees indicating for him to sit in my lap, he nodded and crawled into my lap and I hugged him tight, he preferred pressure over feather light touches.

He sniffled quietly, hoping I wouldn't notice. He looked away from so that I wouldn't see the tears streaming down his face like a river, as if I'd resent him for it. I pulled his face by his chin to look at me and offered a reassuring smile. I only ever smile for him.

"It's okay to cry in front of me, I won't be mad. Please don't be afraid to cry in front of me, I don't want you to be scared of me, darling." And with that he broke, he hid his face in my shoulder as I stroked his back, my blazer becoming wet with tears but I didn't care.

"I'm sorry Wednesday, I know you hate emotions." He said through his sobs. I felt my heart break a little, he thought I'd hate him for it.

"No it's okay, sweetheart, it's you so I don't mind at all. I would never be disappointed in you for being upset. Enid is the one I'm disappointed in, she should've been more mindful of your needs."

I pulled back from him. "Can I kiss you?" He nodded and I planted a gentle kiss to his lips. "Wanna cuddle for a bit?" He nodded again and I guided him to my bed.

We sat on the bed and I held him with a vice grip from behind. I wanted to reassure him that he's okay to be emotional around me. I had not realised he feared me so much.

"I won't leave you for being emotional Y/N, you know that right?" I whispered behind him. "I'm always here to listen you, I know it can be hard to operate somedays and it can be overwhelming for you, I'm hoping you'll let me in and help you and comfort you in any way I can." He turned around, he looked taken aback by what I said, I meant everything.

"You would do that? For me?" I smiled and nodded

"I'd do anything for you, mi amor." He leaned forward and kissed me gently, smiling against my lips which I happily returned.

Maybe I'm not unlike my mother and father after all...

[antimony-medusa]

Okay this is 100% discourse, so maybe avert your eyes if you don't want to see me wail at the heavens, but for a fandom so anxious about boundaries, we haven't actually been very good in practice at respecting the actual stated boundaries the streamers put down, and I think it shows what we're actually policing, which is not things to make the streamers comfortable, it's stuff to make us comfortable.

This ranges from inventing new boundaries for people (you can't use neopronouns for ranboo, their pronouns are he/they; there's no boundaries on dark content for streamers so obviously we have to invent and enforce dark sbi rules ourselves) and then harassing people based on those boundaries that we just made up, to ignoring the actual things that the streamers said if we don't agree with them (cc!dream said he was uncomfortable with gore art back during the revolutionary war/exile but he's a villain, right, so we can just do whatever we want with the character, right?) and just doing whatever we want.

This is a recurring problem, with people violently policing boundaries that the fandom has all agreed on, to the point of doxxing and harassment and death threats, and ignoring boundaries that they have decided "don't make sense".

Like here's the example I put in the tags earlier, which is Technoblade related. Everyone knows that family dynamic is great and shipping is a no-go, right? But if you actually go looking for the clips, (or listen to streams in the background recursively while you're doing other things), you'll find that what Technoblade said about shipping was that it was "kinda cringe" (I think the list of things he said was cringe included reading percy jackson books and talking like you're better at video games than you actually are), and he was MUCH stronger in saying that he didn't like family dynamic in canon, saying that he didn't like it, that it was non-canon, and he'd never betray his family like that.

But if you look at the entire "found family" tag on Ao3, 19,860 stories, Technoblade is tagged into 29% of them. That's 5,760 fics just blowing right past what Technoblade said. Boom. Taking that character from his political anarchist setting and setting him right down in a royalty au w. younger siblings.

Because obviously a family dynamic isn't actually going to hurt someone's feelings or make them feel weird, the fandom has agreed, so what he must mean was that saying that family dynamic was actual literal canon is the only bad thing (I have been clotheslined by family dynamic written into stuff tagged as "canon compliant" multiple times as well,) and we can continue with the fun family stuff, right? Because someone saying they don't like family dynamic doesn't make Sense, in the way that I like it, the fandom has agreed, so we can just ignore that clip. Honestly I think that a ton of people have no idea that Technoblade ever said anything negative about family dynamic, because that clip is never brought out or talked about. I literally only know about it because I've watched that stream.

Meanwhile, the much less firmly stated boundary when it comes to shipping is absolutely doubled down on and brought out to justify mobbing people off the internet, because everyone already knows that shipping is bad and terrible and tainted and horrible to do and we don't like it, so even the slightest indication that it's out has to be grabbed and used to police people. So that everyone can be very to sure themselves that what they're doing is not weird, and the streamers are okay with it, and if I showed them my fic they'd say they liked it.

They're not going to give the Ok to your fic, because the fic isn't FOR them, and it shouldn't be. It's for the other weird fans who can't stop thinking about the block men characters, it's not for the actors. The actors have their own lives, leave them alone.

To be clear, I am not saying that we should stop writing family dynamic to respect Technoblade's feelings. Among other things, I don't think he's checking his character tag on Ao3 right now. But like, I've talked before about the way that boundaries culture ends up working in practice, and how constantly bringing problems up to streamers just ends up showing them all the things that are the most weird to the streamer. You only have to look at what most of Benchtrio has done in terms of boundaries, which has been transitioning from very explict boundaries with details on everything to just saying "just use your manners," stopping answering questions, and telling people to actually think about what they're showing the streamer instead of expecting someone to weigh in on it for them.

But even when it comes to the boundaries that we do have, that we know about, the way people enforce them seems to be less about actually respecting what the creators like, and more about making sure we're morally pure and never have to see something that we personally don't like, and we don't happen to have any of that nasty boys kissing content in our work, because we all know that's terrible. (And as someone who's seen crackdowns on LGBTQIA content several times, that certainly has unfortunate overtones.)

As long as it's all kept away from the creators, I really think that fluffy cuddly family dynamic and kissing fic and hardcore whump all falls into the category of "not for the creators, they might find that one weird, but you do you". Like keep it away from the streamers, use your brain, but like, it's all a bit weird and for fun. Let it be weird and for fun in a secluded part of the internet, keep it away from the streamers, tag your shit for people who don't want to see it, and go to town.

So just like, I really think that "creator boundaries" should be more about using your brain as to what you show the streamer, and less about harassing someone off the internet cause they drew kissing art.

[onyxbird]

OK, turns out I'm not done way overanalyzing the hospital scene from "The Nigerian Job." But in the interests of not continuing to spam the poor stranger who touched off that conversation, I'll dump the new overanalysis into its own post. @trivalentlinks @wolves-in-the-world

As I've been thinking about this, I'm just fascinated by what the setup seems to imply about their choices here:

1. Nate and Hardison are both handcuffed to hospital beds--Nate unconscious, Hardison apparently only still on the bed because he doesn't know how get himself out of handcuffs.

2. Parker is free of her cuffs and pacing. (She gets handcuffed to the bed after feigning nausea to lure the doctors in.) Her dialog implies she has already formulated a plan for getting at least herself out (that will be ruined if Eliot kills someone).

3. Eliot is sitting in a chair, handcuffed to the arm. Going off of other Hollywood hospital scenes, I assume Eliot being in a chair reflects both being very minimally injured and some off-screen grifting on his part. He'd want to be cuffed to the relatively light-and-compact chair instead of a bed, since he could maneuver and fight without necessarily having to get the cuffs off first, which would be consistent with his assertion that "I can take these cops"--he's got an escape plan, too.

The dialog also indicates that 1) they have been in the hospital with Nate unconscious for at least 20 minutes (because that's how long ago they were fingerprinted) and 2) everyone else has been conscious since before getting brought to the hospital (Parker: "Cops and firemen got there just as we were waking up.").

So, all three of them sat there for at least 20 minutes waiting for Nate to wake up, knowing their time before their identities were uncovered was ticking away, and none of them just ditched the others and left.

Eliot and Parker both had exit plans that were plausible given their skills displayed in the rest of the series--Eliot almost certainly could have gotten the jump on the cops immediately guarding them, probably using the chair as a weapon, gotten the handcuff keys from them if necessary, and plowed his way through any remaining resistance; Parker could have found an openable window or a vent system or a route through a drop ceiling or something to sneak out. Eliot had even more of an advantage that his "roommate" was unconscious--Parker and Hardison wouldn't have known he was abandoning them until they heard him fighting the cops, and that would have been too late for them to ruin his plan by eliminating the element of surprise.

Like, part of me wants to say I'm probably reading too much into this--the writers needed the rest of them to still be there when Nate woke up or it would break the story... but that "problem" only exists because they chose to knock Nate out for 20+ minutes*. If the team was supposed to still be hostile and in every-man-for-himself mode, then all they would have had to do would be have Nate wake up with the others and them all start bickering as soon as the cops leave earshot.

They waited for Nate. The dialog didn't suggest that they were waiting for Nate to make the plan--maybe they wanted to make sure everyone made it out; maybe they just wanted to make sure Nate was OK, but either way they all stuck around for 20 minutes when it probably wasn't in their personal best interests in terms of escape and 2/3 had exit plans already. They may not trust each other yet, but they do seem to have decided to make sure everyone's accounted for before they split up.

*I'm going to ignore the fact that Nate probably has some serious brain injury if he was unconscious for 20+ minutes because Leverage clearly works on Hollywood harmless knock-out logic.

[orcasoul]

I'll Come Back For You

Summery: Letting go is hard to do for both of you. But as they say, if you love someone, you have to let them go.

Warnings: Death, Grieving, Mention of Injury, Swearing, No Use of Y/N.

Italics indicate inward thinking.

Joel sat on the porch swing, staring lovingly at how the late evening rays illuminated the varying deep shades of your hair, how it flowed down past your shoulders and blew gently in the summer breeze. God you're a work of art. He'd taken so much for granted before, but now, every time he casts his gaze upon you he savours each and every second.

The slope of your nose, the faint lines at the corners of your eyes, the few strands that have began to turn grey, even the way you hold yourself. If Joel had his way, these moments would never end. These are the moments when his life makes sense. Where he can breathe and just.... be. Where the gnarled roots of wretched sorrow and anger briefly release their strangling grip on his tormented soul.

In these precious moments, in your presence he can once again feel a spark of life ignite inside him, can almost feel the broken shards of his heart piecing themselves back together. He doesn't care how many times Tommy and Ellie have expressed their concern for his mental well being, or how they've begged him to open up to them and not shut them out. He doesn't need their pity or 'support'. You're all he needs.

"You're staring again," you chuckle, while turning to stare at Joel's warm eyes. A fond smile twitches at the corner of his mouth. "I'm sorry, I guess I am," he replies softly, but his tone is anything but apologetic. "I just can't help it. You're so beautiful." You smile sadly, looking down at Joel's hand. You reach over, instinct and love propelling you to take hold and lace your fingers with his.

But at the last moment, you stop and drop your hand to your lap. There was no need to look at Joel to know the anguish and longing written all over his face. Hell, you feel it too. The deep rooted need to feel each other's skin and warmth is overwhelming for you both. But it's no use. It can't happen now.

"So are you," you whisper affectionately. Your smile fades and Joel furrows his brow in confusion. "You've been awful quiet this evening, sweetheart. Something on your mind?" Joel asks, his voice laced with concern. You close your eyes and sigh. You don't want to answer. You don't want to have to do this, but it's for the best.

This cannot be ignored anymore. You refuse to sit by and watch the man you love retreat further and further into himself, downing in a sea of sorrow. As long as you are here, you are a painful reminder. You had hoped your presence would have helped Joel to come to terms with what happened, reassuring him that it was beyond his control.

There was nothing anyone could have done. But for all your efforts, you can see now that your being here means Joel is stuck in limbo. He needs to find a way forward, to find something to keep fighting for, and you fear that can't happen unless you give him the space grieve and heal.

"Joel...," your voice wobbles as you struggle against the lump in your throat. "It's time. You need to let me go. You have to allow yourself to move on." Joel's soulful brown eyes meet yours, glistening with unshed tears and you feel your heart breaking for him. 'I... I can't," his voice almost sounds pleading, "I can't do this without you."

He desperately wants to hold you, to keep you in his arms forever. He's never loved any woman the way he loves you. Love isn't a strong enough word to describe the depth of his devotion and affection for you. You are (were) his life, his joy, the very beat of his heart, a missing piece of his soul.

He can't do this, not again. How can he even put one foot in front of the other if you are not in step with him? Without you he will remain hollow, aimless, just a simple lifeform existing from one day to the next. You take a shuddering breath, hoping your next words can convince him.

"Yes, you can, baby. You're the strongest person I know. I know it will be hard and I'm sorry... "I"m so sorry it has to be like this-," "Don't," Joel cut you off gently, shaking his head, "You have nothing to apologise for," "Neither do you," you reply, matter of factly. Joel looked straight ahead, his jaw ticking as he tries to tamp down the anger festering away inside of him.

The self loathing he deserves for failing another person he loves. "I should have been there to protect you." "Oh Joel," you sigh, sadly, "How many times do I have to say it? We cannot control everything around us. You need to accept that life has it's own plan and what will happen, will happen. It's. Not. Your. Fault." You enunciate the last sentence with conviction, tears threatening to chock you at the obvious ruination haunting Joel's visage.

Even from his side profile the pain is clearly evident. A moment of silence follows, after which, Joel turns to face you, eyes redened, tears now trailing the curve of his cheeks. "I love you so much," his pained words are barely above a whisper, as if his grief is physically crushing his windpipe. "And I love you. I always have," you reply softly as your own tears begin to fall.

You want nothing more than to comfort him, to take him in your arms and shield him from his suffering, to wipe his tears away and kiss his soft salt and pepper curls. But it's impossible and you feel so helpless, so useless.... and you hate that. How cruel its, to be so close and yet, so far away.

"And that's why...," you take a deep breath, your own sorrow weighing heavily on you with what you now have to do. "I have to go." Joel's eyes widen but before he can protest, you continue, "I'm sorry," the regret choking you is stifling, "I wanted to help you find a way through this, but I can see now that I'm doing more harm than good. You need to be able to mourn, Joel. And you need to accept the love and support of those around you. You still have family here and they want so desperately to help you, but you've pushed them away. I can't bare to see you wasting away like this."

Somewhere, deep down Joel knew that this time would come, he knew you couldn't stay here forever, but how the hell can he let you go? It would be like expecting him to live without breath in his lungs. "Please, y... you can't go..." Joel's voice wavered as he continued., "I... I can't lose you again, sweetheart." You try to reassure him with a gentle smile, "You'll never never truly lose me, darling."

A sad sigh escapes you, "But you will lose yourself if you continue down this path, and I won't let that happen. Ellie and Tommy are so worried about you. You need them, even if you don' realise it." "How am I supposed to live every day without you? I just...," Joel lets out a shaky breath, rubbing his hand over his face, "I Cant. I've lost too much. I can't do it again."

The defeat in Joel's voice, his eyes, his posture causes your gut to twist up. You want to stay, it's tearing you apart inside, feeling as though you're abandoning him in his hour of need. But staying would only make things worse in the long run. Sometimes you have to make difficult decisions for the greater good. It will be hard for him, but he still has so much to live for, so much love to give, even if he's blind to it right now.

"Joel," you began, voice gentle but firm, "You can. The Joel Miller I know can do anything he puts his mind too." A barely visible smile appears at one corner of Joel's mouth, but as soon as it appears, it's gone. "I want you to do something for me, darling," " anything!" Joel replies in earnest. If you could physically caress his cheek right now, you would. It feels so wrong to not be able to touch him. All you can do is shuffle closer and lean into his tired face.

"I want you to promise me that you'll keep going, that you'll allow yourself to feel everything you need to, and that you'll lean on your family. Promise me that you'll live the best life that you can for yourself, for them... and for me, please." Joel is lost for words. He's done a lot of bad things in his life, but he must have done something good at some point for the universe to bring you to him. He doesn't deserve the endless love and concern you continue to bestow upon him, even in death.

Your bright and hopeful eyes bring Joel a sense of clarity. This is the last thing he can do for you, the last thing you'll ever ask of him, and he will do it, for you. No matter how difficult it will be. He suddenly doesn't feel so lost and adrift anymore. You have given him a new purpose. He will honour your last request until his dying breath. After a few seconds of quiet contemplation, Joel whispers, "I promise."

You release a sigh of relief, a heavy weight lifted from your shoulders at Joel's reassurance. He'll be alright. "And I promise you, when the time comes, I'll come back for you. One day, we'll be together again. But I have to go now," you pause, trying to fight the tears that threaten to fall again, "I won't say goodbye, cause this isn't goodbye. It's see you later."

Joel swallows the sob trying to climb up his throat. His heart is screaming at him to beg you to stay, but he knows when your mind is made up, it's made up. And you've decided he needs this. As much as he can't fathom not seeing you again for god knows how long, he takes comfort in knowing this separation is temporary. He will hold you again, laugh with you again and spend eternity by your side.

"I love you," Joel sniffled, knowing this is it, woe burying itself deeper into his soul. "I love you too," you declare, devotedly. "see ya later?" The words leave Joel's lips as a hopeful question. "See ya later," you confirm lovingly, and with that you fade into the soft golden twilight.

6 Years Later...

Joel couldn't focus, his eyelids like lead and his body trembling. The voices around him seemed distant and muffled one second, then loud and sharp the next. Throbbing pain bloomed through his torso, exacerbated by each breath he took. "What do you mean there's nothing more you can do?" Was that Tommy? "You can't just give up on him!" Tommy shouted, his voice a mixture of anger and fear.

"I'm so sorry, but all we can do now is try to make him as comfortable as we can." Darkness encompassed Joel as the voices began to fade once more. When his eyes opened again, he's met with the grave faces of Ellie and Tommy. He tries to sit up but his limbs feel too heavy, even turning his head is a challenge, and the oppressive atmosphere shrouding the room tells Joel the situation is... bad.

"What-" "Shhh...," soothed Ellie with tears in her eyes. "You're in the hospital." Joel swallowed thickly, wincing as his body screamed in protest at the slightest movement. He slowly turned his head to see Tommy standing at the other side of his bed. His blotchy, tear streaked face caused Joel's stomach to twist up in knots. At that moment, it all came rushing back to him.

The ambush while on patrol with Tommy, the broken baseball bat protruding from him (again), Tommy heaving his battered body onto his own horse so he could keep him upright on the journey back. He's been in dire situations more times than he'd like to remember but this time it's... different, both Tommy and Ellie's sombre mien thickening the atmosphere as every second passes.

And that's when it dawned on Joel; This isn't just bad, this is something he won't come back from. "Tell me...," Joel mumbled, weakly. Tommy cleared his throat, trying to keep his voice even, "The uh... the doctor..," Tommy lowered his head, shaking it as if in disbelief. Normally, Joel would snap at Tommy to 'spit it out' whenever he fumbled his words, but not this time. Not when his baby brother is clearly struggling to keep it together.

Tommy sighed, lifting his gaze to meet Joel's. "The doctor said you have internal bleeding and uh... there's nothing more they can do." Nothing more they can do. The words echo loudly in Joel's ears. He's had many close calls over the years. He'd used up his nine lives a long time ago and now his number was up. Our luck had to run out sooner or later. Tess' last words return as a grim reminder of the fragility of life in this world.

A part of Joel always knew he'd meet his end sooner rather than later, but being faced with that reality now.... well, nothing could have ever truly prepared him for this moment, the finality of his tumultuous life. Joel remained still, staring up at the ceiling while it sank in, a barrage of emotions crashing over him, simultaneously; Fear of the unknown, worry for the family he'll leave behind, regret for so many past mistakes, but also... acceptance. After everything he feels unexpectedly ready.

He'd kept his promise to you everyday for the past six years. He'd rebuilt his fragile relationship with Ellie. It took many deep and uncomfortable conversations and he always gave her space when she needed it, but slowly the cracks disappeared and the two became closer than ever, he even became a doting grandpa to JJ and a devoted uncle to Dylan.

The past mistakes with Tommy could never truly be erased, but he and Tommy both came to realise that they couldn't and more importantly, didn't want to dwell on it anymore, even Maria had come to accept Joel and gave him a second chance to start over with no animosity between them. He'd done that for you, just as you'd asked of him. Everyday Joel had kept your memory alive as he'd lived the best life he could, and now he's reached the end.

"Joel...," Ellie's quivering voice broke through Joel's hazy mind. The woefulness behind her tears caused Joel's heart to clench. "Come here, kiddo," comforted Joel as he slowly lifted an arm to embrace his adopted daughter. Her warm tears fell onto his neck as he gently rubbed the back of her head. "It's...okay. It'll be okay," he gulped while trying to be strong for her. "How can it be okay? How will any of us be okay without you?" Ellie wept, voice shaking with each breath.

"You're strong and you h... have people who care about you. Don't make the sa... same mistake I did," Joel told her as he thought about how he spent so long pushing people away. "I love you," she breathed out quietly into his ear, and Joel closed his eyes, sighing in contentment. "I love you too, baby girl. You take good... care of JJ,... you hear me?" "I will," Ellie promised. Joel then looked to Tommy, who's head hung low in shame and remorse. "This is my fault," his jaw clenched in anger, the same way Joel's always does, "I'm so fucking sorry. I should have been quicker, should have killed that bastard sooner!"

"Hey...," Joel gently interrupted, "It's not your... fault. We were outnumbered." Tommy shook his head, seemingly unable to accept his failure. "Tommy," Joel began, in a no nonsense tone, causing his brothers' eyes to meet his own, "You got us out... of there and got us home. That's what... matters! So don't you dare b... blame yourself for th... this.

Tommy was speechless for a moment. He grabbed Joel's hand and asksed, "Who's gonna keep my ass in check around here now?" "I'm s...sure Maria has that covered...," it was becoming more difficult for Joel to talk, "and if not this one will do the job," he quipped, pointing to Ellie with a small chuckle but he immediately winced as shooting pains radiated around his lower abdomen. "Easy...," Tommy rested a comforting hand on Joel's shoulder.

As the hours wore on, Joel became weaker, his breathing more laboured. Medication helped to ease the worst of the pain, even though, at first he refused it, insisting that it was pointless to waste it on him. It was only after Ellie had begged him to take it, that he finally relented. Maria and Dina came to say a teary farewell but left the children with a babysitter, as Joel didn't want their last memories of him to be a bruised and bloodied man on his deathbed.

Day bled into night. Ellie and Tommy kept vigil at Joel's bedside while he slipped in and out of consciousness. Joel became even more breathless, his golden hue became pale and clammy. It wouldn't be long now. A sombre silence filled the air, holding more weight than any words could. But even if Joel wanted to speak, he found he suddenly lacked the strength to even open his mouth. An exhaustion he'd never experienced before swept over him like a warm blanket, along with a bone deep, desperate need to sleep. Just for a bit. I'll sleep just for a bit.

*****

"Joel?..." a warm hand on his cheek and a soft voice he'd know anywhere, resounded in his ears like a sweet melody. His eyes shot open and he gasped in shock as he took in the image of you standing beside him and... touching him! Maybe he's dreaming? "Hi, baby," you smiled down at him with tears in your eyes, stroking his patchy jaw, tenderly. "You're here," he sputtered in disbelief.

"I promise I'd come back for you," you replied soothingly. And that's when Joel knew without a doubt he's not dreaming. As if on instinct Joel reached for your hand, clasping it in his own, bringing it to his mouth and pressed his lips to your soft palm. "I missed you," he cried, unable to believe that the moment he's waited years for is finally upon him. How he missed your delicate touch.

He'd dreamed of your embrace every night for the past six years, and now at long last, it's real. Joel swung his legs over the side of the bed, pulling himself up, the absence of pain and the rejuvenation of his 'body', another confirmation of his new reality. Joel wastes no time pulling you into his broad chest and you wrap your arms around his waist, burying your face in the crook of his neck.

You breathe in his woodsy and coffee scent, while at the same time Joel's nose buries itself in your hair, slowly inhaling your scent, one hand splayed across your back and the other cupping the back of your head. Tears stream down both of your faces as years of longing and loneliness come to an end. Now only forever awaits. "I missed you too," you wept, "So much." "I did it, darling. I did it all for you, every day," Joel whispered into your ear. You pull back, enough to look into his eyes, eyes filled with relief and love.

Gently holding his cheek, you reply, "I know. And I'm so proud of you. Now you can rest, my love." As the tears begin to dry and emotions calm somewhat, Joel realises you two weren't the only one's crying. Turning around his heart sinks and chest tightens as he has to witness Tommy holding a sobbing Ellie, while his own tears silently fall. On the bed, Joel's body lies motionless, drained of colour but with a serene peace adorning his relaxed features.

He remains frozen to the spot, wide eyed until you slip your hand into his, giving him a supportive 'I'm here' squeeze. "They'll be okay." You smooth your other hand up and down his arm. "They have each other and their families. They'll take care of them. And when the time comes, we'll all be together again." Joel answers with a silent nod, squeezing your hand in return. You know Joel through and through, and you know that he's always taken it upon himself to care for and protect those he loves.

But now that responsibility is his his no more. It'll be hard for Joel to relinquish said responsibility, which has been the staple in his life, but he has faith in Tommy, knowing he'll look after Ellie. They're family, blood or not. He can rest in that knowledge. "Joel...," he brings his attention back to you, raising a quizzical eyebrow at the smile plastered across your face. "I brought someone with me. Someone who has been waiting a long time to see you again."

Realisation of whom you are referring to flashes across Joel's face, but before the name can pass his lips, he hears the sweetest, most perfect voice say the word he hasn't been called in over twenty years. "Dad...," With bated breath, Joel slowly turned around, his mind struggling to function properly. There she is! His baby girl, standing in front of him, just as beautiful as he'd remembered her.

"Sarah...," Joel whispered in awe, frozen to the spot where he stood. 'Hi, old man," she smiled as she closed the gap between them. Her close proximity snapped Joel out of his statue like stance, quickly pulling her into his arms and holding her tightly to his chest. "I missed you," she cried into his chest, while wrapping her arms around his waist. "I missed you too," Joel choked out, "It's okay baby girl, I'm here, I'm here," he comforted her as his own tears joined hers.

He tenderly drew her head back, cupping her face in his hands, his eyes absorbing every beautiful inch of her features; Her expressive eyes that has passed onto her, that killer smile he'd always thought of so fondly, the blush of pink that always tinted her cheeks. God how he'd missed her. "You're grey," Sarah teased through her tears, running her fingers through his soft curls.

Joel chuckled, his eyes crinkling at the corners with warmth and admiration. "Your beautiful." He pulls her in for another hug and turns his head to you. You are crying silent, happy tears for them both. Joel reaches out, silently beckoning you over. With his daughter under one arm and the woman he loves under the other, he now feels complete.

His post cordyceps life has led to this very moment, to be with the people he loves the most. Of course his heart aches at the thought of leaving Tommy and Ellie behind, but it won't be forever. You're right. It's his time to rest. Sarah takes his hand in hers, her thumb rubbing over the scars on his knuckles. "Let's go home," she said, softly, "We have much to talk about."

With one last glance over his shoulder and a nod of confirmation, Joel is ready. A bright mist hovers where a wall should be, a calm and quiet ambience emanating from within. Together, with linked hands the three of you slowly disappear as you walk through the veil into forever.

[yuri-is-online]

congrats on the 300 followers, you deserve it and more 🫶 for the event can i request prompt 21 with ace and deuce? have a nice day ^^

21. Missing lunch and sharing a snack

Thank you very much friend <3 Good choice, this is such a cute prompt for these two.

notes: they/them pronouns used for Yuu, Check out the rest of the event requests here.

Ace

"Just so we're clear, we are absolutely blaming this on Grim." Ace is doubled over, out of breath but full of rage as you simply lay in the grass of the courtyard, peacefully accepting your fate.

"Why does it matter?" You smile ruefully pointedly focused on the vast blue expanse of the sky from your position lying on the courtyard lawn. "Why does any of it matter? Are we not just here to suffer?" Technically speaking, if you had been in the mood to debate with Ace, your current situation was very much his fault, Grim had actually been following the directions Crewel gave rather nicely until Ace decided to tease him.

"It was one detention period." He huffs, clearly at least a little aware of his situation. And yet you cannot shake the feeling that Ace seems determined to abandon you to your misery without any apologies for making you both miss lunch. You can see him eyeing the hallway debating it.

"Just leave me then." You don't want to go but you also don't want him to pretend to want to stay. "You still might be able to make it to lunch if you sprint." You both know that isn't true, but that apparently doesn't stop Ace, he runs off so fast you'd swear Riddle was after him. Typical, you set an alarm on your phone for fifteen minutes in case you fall asleep and settle yourself deeper into the grass. Part of you wonders why you even rely on Ace so much if he gives you just as much grief as he does help. Sure, Deuce and Jack always insist that he scams you less, but does he really? Not that it really matters right now, you think, eyes fluttering shut as you try to ignore how hungry you are.

"Hey you aren't actually asleep, are you?" Something rustles next to you, a comforting weight settling into the grass on your right, but it is not enough to make you stir. Something wet and cold taps your lips and you're up with a start, fumbling with the drink Ace has decided to literally drop on your head while he cracks open a canned soda. "What?" He isn't smirking to your surprise, strangely serious as he passes over a pastry from the vending machines you only just now remember are in the very hallway he'd dashed off to earlier. Ace wants to make a joke, or tease you a bit but the light in your smile at his thoughtfulness keeps all the pretense down. But he can't stifle the blush that comes from your head hitting his shoulder you the crack in his voice when he responds to your sleepy thank you.

"You're welcome, Yuu."

Deuce

You can tell the cause of a headache depending on the part of your head that hurts. Today, there is a ring of pain running around your forehead like a headband indicative of a tension headache; you must have been more stressed about this exam than you had originally thought.

"Here try this." Deuce gently places an ice pack on your forehead, flinching as you wince at the temperature. You gently take over holding the pack from him as he turns to fumble around in his bag as you stare at the wall and try to focus on breathing.

"Sorry about this." Deuce had noticed you weren't feeling well almost immediately and insisted on taking you to the hospital wing before going to lunch. "You can go on ahead and meet up with Ace and Grim."

"Not going to happen." He laughs slightly. "You won't stay here till the nurse gets back unless I force you."

"It's just a headache, I'll be fine before the nurse even gets back. If you don't get going soon you'll miss lunch." The last thing you want is to cause even more problems for Deuce, he's always going out of his way to help you. The least he can do for himself is eat. Finally Deuce finds what he's looking for and settles next to you on the bed.

"I'd still be worried." He's unflappably honest when he is unaware of himself, if Deuce could notice the way your breath hitches at the slightest contact he would be much more of a mess. "Can you eat?" He holds up half of a sandwich, still wrapped in wax paper you swear you recognize from the Heartslabyul kitchens.

"Did you steal that from Trey?" That does fluster him.

"N-no." You gently take the sandwich with a light laugh. "I made it myself y'know. Trey's not the only one in Heartslabyul that can cook." Your head feels a little lighter, stress melting bit by bit.

"It's good, 10 points for Deucey." He puffs up in pride.

"If you ever miss lunch just ask me, as long as you're in Twisted Wonderland I'll take care of you."

[scribbledghost]

HELLO HELLO HI AGHH SO SORRY ABOUT THE SPAM LIKES BUT I’M LITERALLY. so in love with your work its crazy especially THE NEIGHBOR AU??? I was thinking maybe like reader is horribly drunk and ends up outside simon’s door and reader is all talkative and stuff IDK UP TO YOU but they eventually wail that they like someone so much it’s driving them crazy and he’s just like Oh . they like someone (he’s so oblivious it hurts) ANYWAYS IDK LEAVING IT TO UR IMAGINATION but at the end they’re really giggly and kiss his cheek before they leave and he’s like huh. maybe that person is me (in denial) UGH MY IDEA IS SO LAME BUF I’M DESPERATE FOR NEIGHBOR!SIMON CONTENT I LOVE U SO MUCH MWAH

NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR SPAMMING IT IS FINE I LOVE U 💖💖💖 ALSO this idea is so CUTE THANK YOU

It's very, very late one Friday when there's a knock on Simon's door.

He's immediately suspicious, so he makes sure to tuck his pistol away in a concealed holster before he answers.

Except it's... you??? Why are you awake this late?? Much less at his door??

And you're babbling. About what, Simon isn't exactly sure, though he's fairly sure he catches some minced apologies here and there for showing up at his door so late.

That's when he realizes: the slurred speech, the mild stumbling, the lack of a vocal filter... yeah, you're sloshed.

He sighs and helps you inside. Sure, you live right next door, but he's not about to just shut the door on you.

You sit on his couch while he tucks his pistol away in a safe, and when he comes back, you seem... melancholy. Upset by something.

He sits next to you for a minute, puts an arm around your shoulders, and asks what's got you down.

It takes a moment, but you just start. Blubbering. Mumbling that there's this guy you're crazy about and it's driving you nuts and there's nothing to indicate he feels the same.

Simon ignores how his heart plummets when he hears you have feelings for someone.

He listens patiently as you gush about this mystery man, his soul growing green with envy at every word.

"He's quiet but he's sooooo nice even though he acts like he's not but he is, he's always nice to me and he helps out all the time even when I tell him he doesn't need to and he's so pretty I can't stand it and -"

He. Kind of tunes you out and sulks a little. Let's be real.

Though, if he'd stayed present and listened, he would've picked up on how you mentioned some things that make it very clear you're talking about him. Shame. Real pity, it is.

Anyway, once you sober up enough for him to be comfortable sending you home and you agree, he walks you to the door.

You're giggly now. A little clingy, even. Not that he minds that in the slightest.

Then, just before you walk away in the direction of your place, you reach up and -

You kiss him. On the cheek.

He freezes, sort of unable to get his mind to restart until you thank him and start walking home.

As he watches to make sure you get in the house okay, he thinks to himself...

Maybe it was him you were talking about earlier.

He shakes his head. Nope. No. Couldn't be.

(He still falls asleep with a small smile on his face later at the idea, though).

[crusty-chronicles]

Forgiveness And Acceptance

Ch 1: What Goes Bump In The Night

MASTERLIST

Synopsis: You feel guilty for Kite's Chimera Ant form. You don't think he really loves you, but you love him. So much so you let him use your body for his pleasure. Anything to rectify abandoning him during the fight with Pitou. Kite however, is trying to show you that's not the case. (Reader is based from the Moon and Sun insert)

NSFW, MINORS DNI

Warnings: brief cock warming, AFAB reader

An: Kite lovers, come and get y'all juice. Also I've decided to make this a mini series so keep your eyes out. Updates will be extremely slow.

------------------------------

It was never easy suppressing the memories of what happened with the Chimera Ants. Everything from the fighting to the casualties. The ants themselves being integrated into society. Sometimes it was easier to pretend it never happened at all.

The fight with Gon. 

Losing your nen. 

Almost dying a second time.

All of it you never liked to look back on. Never liked to think about. But there was a constant reminder you just couldn't ignore.

 Kite.

Pitou had killed him. Using his body as their puppet. And by some fucked up miracle, you were able to bring him back. Like with Palm, some things had changed. 

He was bulkier now. Not as lanky as he had been, with a few extra inches added to his height. Hair no longer an ethereal silver, but now a fiery auburn. The only indication he wasn't fully human anymore being the rat tail sporting from his back. 

He was different, but he was Kite all the same.

And although he came back mostly the same, it was still your fault he died in the first place. You were the one who ran away like a coward. You were the one who didn't bother looking back. You were the one who left him behind.

So imagine your shock when one of the first things he said after finally seeing you again was, 'I like you, too. I never got the chance to respond that night.'

Words of affection instead of hatred. 

You just couldn't wrap your head around why. Surely that couldn't be his initial response after finding out you were the reason he wasn't human anymore. It couldn't be.

But it truly was the first thing that came to mind. He died to protect you and the boys. And after hearing from Ging that you were okay (that you were all okay), the only thing he could think about was you. 

What he would say. 

What he would do. 

It was thanks to you that he was still here, after all. 

Then he remembered your confession back at the NGL, and how he never really said anything in response. Not because he didn't feel the same way, god no. He sure as hell felt the same way. But it was the setting, rather, that had him holding back. It was too dangerous to have been focusing on anything else.

So it was decided he'd give you a proper answer. Even if yours had changed. Six months was a long time. Maybe you wouldn't want him anymore now that he wasn't human. He wasn't that different from before, but maybe enough had changed for you not to find him appealing. Maybe you'd fallen in love with someone else.

And for whatever reason, that possibility hurt the most. 

His instincts, however, were telling him a very different story. That he was overthinking it and you'd still feel the same. That he had absolutely nothing to worry about. His hunches were never wrong, but for the first time Kite was doubting himself.

But when you assured him your feelings hadn't changed, all his previous worry and doubt disappeared. You still wanted him. Even if he wasn't the exact same as before. Everything seemed to fall into place after that.

Loving you had never felt so right.

It'd been a year since then. A year of being together. A year of trying to move past all that happened. And while many things had changed, some stayed the same. Like you and your disdain for the outdoors.

"You'd think as a researcher I'd be typing away indoors. You know, so the computer doesn't overheat?" It was a cheap excuse, but that didn't mean you weren't right.

"Half the fun is being outside. Getting experience out on the field," Spin gestured around to emphasize.

You gave a small grumble of 'Oh yeah. Plenty of experience.' Scratching at one of the many bug bites you'd gotten. The screen of your laptop lighting up with a notification.

N E W - S P E C I E S - F O U N D

A picture of a funny looking rat under it. You quickly started filling in its potential genus and feeding habits. Occasionally glancing over at Spin who was going through notification by notification.

She was way better at this than you. You don't know why you were paired up with her when she could accomplish much more by herself. You were basically useless.

Well, you weren't all that useful without your nen.

"I can't help but feel like I'm only here because of some special privilege." Because you were dating Kite.

It was true you had decent analytical skills, but you couldn't focus your eyes anymore to get the finer details. You weren't as precise as you used to be. Feeling as if you were given this job on a whim and not because of the few skills you still possessed.

"The only 'special privilege' he gave you was sleeping in his bed, if you can even call it that." Spin teased.

Your face immediately heating up. And although you were flustered, you seemed to shrink in on yourself at her words. The exact opposite of the response she was hoping to get.

"Hey, I'm being serious. He doesn't treat you any differently than us. Trust me, I'd let you know." She placed a hand on your shoulder and gave a reassuring squeeze.

"Kite's really sweet on the people close to him. You probably feel it more because you're with him every day. And we all like having you around, so don't you worry about feeling out of place. Okay?"

You nodded, giving a small smile in return.

"Okay... Let's finish up here and meet up with the others."

"Now you're talking!"

------------------------

It was about an hour later when the two of you finished logging in data. Both rushing towards the jeep that could only fit so many people. Lin and Banana already there. It wasn't long before Mon, Stick, Podongo, and Kite showed up.

Everyone giving in their report for the day. Turns out 53 new species had been discovered. Mostly insects to your dismay, but still something to be celebrated.

"Good work everyone. Tomorrow should yield higher results considering one of the Chimera Hybrids who lives around the area volunteered to help. For now, let's head back." Kite instructed.

And as everyone started pilling into the small jeep, his gaze finally softened. Redirecting his attention towards you and reaching for your hand to have a brief moment of intimacy.

Relishing in the way your unoccupied hand went up to brush some hair out of his face. Almost leaning into you. He was sure this was the most touchy he's ever been in his life. (Well previous life) Wanting to always have you close.

It was a damn shame because he knew you were the exact opposite. You were fidgety with most contact. Especially around your face. And whether that was a result of your upbringing or what he'd done as Pitou's puppet, he couldn't say. But he disliked the reason for it all the same.

You were a lot more comfortable with touch now than when the two of you started dating. Reciprocating kisses and cuddles and occasionally initiating them. But it was still a longshot from being completely okay with it.

------------------------

You just about collapsed on the couch of your shared apartment. Exhausted mentally and physically. Knowing tomorrow would be an even longer day.

"You did great today, you know? You logged in more than usual." Kite praised.

You let out a tired groan and sunk further into the couch. You'd only done 13 of the 53 entries.

"But you can't sleep just yet. You haven't eaten all day." He snatched the pillow covering your face. Watching as it scrunched up in reaction to the light.

"Noooo. M' tired. And I did eat." You rolled onto your side to escape the brightness.

"Y/n."

At his scolding tone, you turned around to face him. A pout evident on your face. Knowing he hadn't bought your lie.

"It's no fair. You're looking at my aura!" At your accusation, he placed a kiss on the backside of your hand.

"I'm not. I promised I wouldn't until you got your nen back, remember? I can tell you're lying because you're always more exhausted when you haven't had anything to eat," Kite explained.

It was still strange to you how someone could know you so well. How Kite seemed to pick up on the smallest of things. You supposed you were the same way with him.

"Fine...But I know you haven't eaten either."

His soft expression turning into shock at your words.

"Don't even try to argue with me. We both left in a hurry this morning, so I know for a fact you had nothing all day. Order something for the two of us. And you better use my card this time." Your scolding tone mirroring his.

Except yours was a bit more practiced. Having been used on the boys and Alluka. He was sure you'd make a great parent. He shook the feeling off, though.

Not liking the way his chimera ant counterpart seemed to stir at the thought.

--------------------------

You went through each and every item on your list for the morning. Making sure to triple check you had everything in your suitcase. You'd only be gone for five days max, but it was better to be safe than sorry.

"Are you sure you don't want-" Kite started before you cut him off.

"I'll be fine. It's just a doctor's appointment. Besides, you've got an important job to do here. It wouldn't be right for me to take you away from that. What's the worst that could happen?"

You felt arms wrap around your waist from behind. Face pressed into the junction of your neck before he spoke.

"I love you, so please be careful."

The warmth allowing you to relax into him. Taking in his comforting scent before leaning back and looking up. Letting yourself believe he truly meant it when he said he loved you.

"I promise I'll be safe. You take care of yourself, too."

Although those weren't exactly the words Kite wanted to hear, he'd take them. You didn't have to say you loved him back for him to know it. Your actions told him plenty.

It didn't mean he hoped any less to hear them.

It was dark when you finished packing. The two of you preparing for bed. Sleeping arrangements had been another tricky thing when you first started. Neither of you wanting to sleep alone after everything that happened. The first couple of nights awkward with each keeping strictly to their side of the bed.

But within a month something had changed. You awoke one morning engulfed in warmth. One that almost lulled you back to sleep. You curled up a bit more before realizing something was over your waist. You tried to get up to see what it was, but stopped at the feeling of getting tugged closer to the warmth behind you. It was then that the dots connected for you.

In your sleep, you must've subconsciously moved closer to Kite. And his body's response was to pull you closer. Arm thrown over your stomach with his face pressed against your back. The feeling of his weight pressed against you ever so comforting.

So much so that when he woke up and started to apologize, you told him you wouldn't mind it happening again.

It'd become a habit since then. Meeting in the middle instead of opposite ends. Kite cuddling you close while you leaned back into him. On rare nights, even intertwining hands with the one thrown over your waist.

Tonight was no different. Small puffs of air hitting your neck as you drifted off. A feeling of content and domesticity washing over the both of you before completely knocking out.

-----------------

Kite didn't remember a lot from when he was under Pitou's control. There were a few flashes here and there, but nothing other than that. At least, that's how it started.

Soon enough, the memories started coming in the form of dreams.

Of nightmares.

And some nights it just became too much. He supposed he wasn't alone when it came to being haunted by his past. You both had your share of night terrors. Waking the other when things became too much. Seeking out their warmth to make sure they were real.

That they were safe.

Something about this particular dream though, had him trembling in his sleep.

A memory of being inside the nest. Fighting ant after ant until he was dismembered completely. Pitou stitching the pieces back together so the process could continue all over again.

It was one he'd seen before. One that although he didn't like, wasn't as bad as the others.

The next memory had you in it. Back when the circles under your eyes had been at their worst.

You stood in front of him, taking a step forward. His body immediately lunging for you against his will. Over and over again he'd hit you. Trying desperately to pull his punches to no avail.

And over and over again you would get up and smile so warmly at him. Never once defending yourself. His mind warning you to stay back before he hurts you any worse. But you didn't stay away.

"I know you probably hate me right now, but it's okay. You can let out all your frustrations on me. I'll be here every day until we get you back to normal."

And again came your loving smile.

He wanted to scream. Wanted to tell you he could never hate you. That he was being forced to hurt you. But he was simply a prisoner in his own mind.

Seeing you suffer by his own hands was the worst kind of torture.

He jolted awake. Shooting up and unintentionally untangling himself from you. Breathing erratically as he shook.

He hurt you.

He had hurt you.

Was...was that why you seemed to hate his touch? Why you used to flinch away when he cupped your face?

His distress had inadvertently woken you up. The lack of his warmth pressed against you an indicator something was wrong. And when the sound of his shaky breaths reached your ears, you bolted up.

Looking around to see Kite trembling with his head in his hands. Your body immediately kicked into action. Not wasting any time pulling him into your embrace. Resting your head atop his as you tried to provide a bit of comfort.

"Hey, hey, hey. Baby what happened? It's okay. I'm here."

Your very being engulfed him. Creating a small bubble of safety from everything negative. Your scent of rain invading his senses and pulling him back from his nightmare.

"I'm sorry." It was whispered against your skin.

The words temporarily catching you off guard. He must've seen something rough tonight. You held him a little tighter as you ran a hand through his hair.

"You're okay. You don't have anything to apologize for."

You felt him shake his head against you before returning your embrace. Arms pulling you impossibly closer.

"I'm so sorry."

Something was definitely wrong. Because while Kite was aware of you, he wasn't aware that he was here with you. Not stuck in whatever horrible dream decided to rear its head tonight.

You went to cup his face. Guiding it gently away from your neck so you could see each other properly. Your heart just about broke seeing him in full.

Eyes holding a heaviness you could only describe as regret peered up into yours. Quick stuttery breaths as he tried to ground himself in your touch.

"Oh love...What did you see?"

Lips quickly pressed themselves against yours in response. Your body tensing up for a moment at the sudden contact before giving in. Letting a hand wander to the back of your head and pull you in deeper.

He pulled back only to reattach himself to your neck. Placing desperate kisses against your skin.

"I love you. I need you to know that. Let me show you. Please."

He needed to know you were still here with him. That he wasn't stuck in his nightmare hurting you. That what he was wasn't driving you away.

The chimera ant part of him wanting to prove his devotion through intimacy. Too broken down at the moment to resist its primal need for your warmth.

"What do you need?" You asked.

You would give him anything he asked for. Whatever it took for him to feel better. If he didn't want to talk about what he saw, then you wouldn't push.

"You." Was Kite's answer.

He needed you.

Needed to be as close as possible with you.

"Then I'm yours."

He pinned you swiftly to the bed. Nudging your bottoms off while he continued to place light kisses against your neck. Giving a harsh bite when the scent of your arousal reached him.

Pulling down his own pants and boxers in a rush to free his hardening member. At the feeling of it brushing against you, you spread your legs apart.

Your lips once again enveloped by his. Tongue asking for permission before you readily granted it. Exploring every crevice in your mouth before dancing with yours in a steady symphony.

A soft noise leaving you, only encouraging Kite further. He pulled away, resting his forehead against yours as he lined himself up.

Reaching for your hand and intertwining it with his.

The head of his cock slowly bullied its way inside you. Stretching you out in a way that was almost painful from how big he was. And little by little he filled you. Letting out strained pants as he did so.

Sheathing himself into your cunt until his body was flush against yours. Fiery hair creating a curtain that seemed to shut out the rest of the world. Letting himself be completely vulnerable and giving you his love in the rawest form he could.

Your eyes met as he kept still inside you. The heaviness being replaced by something softer. His breathing steadying at the feeling of your warm heat around him. A snug fit considering you hadn't been prepped beforehand.

"Do you want me to..." You started. Legs wrapping lightly around his waist. Wanting to know if you should move or not.

It wasn't the first time sex was used as a means of comfort. A way to forget about everything for just a moment. And if he needed your body to find a bit of peace, then you would give it to him.

Because you loved him with everything you had.

Even if he didn't feel the same.

Even if he thought of you as just a body to keep him warm.

But instead of thrusting into your cunt, Kite sunk down on top of you. Wanting nothing more than to just be as close as possible to you. For your being to completely drown out everything else.

"Can we stay like this? I-I just need to feel you right now." Voice so incredibly soft as he turned the both of you on your side. Once again pulling you against his chest. Holding onto you as if you were a lifeline.

"Anything you want. Let's try to get some sleep now, yeah?" You cradled his head close from its place against your throat.

A nod with one last brush of his lips against your skin. The both of you managing to drift off sometime into the night.

----------------------------

An: Me starting another series??? Yes but Kite deserves so much love and it's unfair how little fics there are about him. 🥺

[dr-docktor]

Ok I have an outline for a swap au/curt falls au

I've had this SaF au rotating in my head for a hot minute and I got some details down and I want to write it all down somewhere so here! Fair warning: it’s pretty underdeveloped but as I get suggestions and stuff I hope to develop it more:-)

Quick thanks to @randeeznuts for letting me yell at him about this in Discord <3

Its a Curt Falls au where, of course, Curt is the one to fall instead of Owen. It's still Curt's banana peel, however.

After the incident, Owen retires. Mourning the fact that he and Curt never got to run off together. Instead he picks up what little he has left of that fantasy and tries to pull it together.

A tiny cottage on a lake, a hairless cat named Penelope, a vegetable garden... You get the idea.

And all things considered, he could be doing so much worse. Penelope is spoiled rotten and the vegetable garden looks gorgeous no matter the time of year. Ignore the thousands of abandoned hobbies scattered across the coffee table and carpet. Ignore how he hasn't cut his hair since he chopped most of it off in some grief-driven rage 3 years ago. Ignore how his back porch reeks of cigarettes as his smoking habit has gotten so much worse. Ignore the fact that all he can think about some days is how efficient the little pronged rake in his hand is just as efficient at tearing up weeds as it is tearing through flesh.

Admittedly, I'm not 1000% sure how or why he decides to go back into the field for this one mission. My best guess is Cynthia finds his ass and is like "Hey bestie, I need a huge favor." I will expand on that later, I swear.

I imagine the main plot points of the show continue. You got Tatiana, the casino, etc. etc. etc. (once again I will expand on specific changes later) I also imagine most of the comedy with Owen comes from him being the sort of straight-man (haha) in most situations.

Being able to bounce off of whatever insane event is happening around him with utter seriousness and sarcasm. Because he just wants to get through this and get back to his cat. (the cat-sitter doesn't even know her favorite food! Much less her routine oh how will she live happily???).

He also never clarifies to anyone if Penelope is an animal or human so people are just consistently arguing about if he's talking about a child or a cat. Tatiana and DMA keep interrupting BVN's speech to debate this. Tatiana claims that its clearly a child, that Owen's eyebags and stubble indicate a stressed-out single father while DMA firmly thinks she is a cat for reasons he will not explain.

SPEAKING OF DMA :-) I think the guy needs no further introduction. There's still a lot of gaps in development, specifically centered on why Curt would ever join Chimera. I very firmly believe that they didn't torture Owen. But given how loyal and stubborn Curt is, I don't think they'd be exactly gentle while trying to persuade him. This might change later on, who knows.

Curt's version of the DMA is so interesting to me because I think he'd be a lot more reactive than the Owen DMA if that makes sense? Like very quick to explode with anger. Like he acts all smug while insisting Penelope is, in fact, a cat and not a human child. But as soon as he's asked why he thinks this, he fires back with a "Because I can just tell, okay?!?!??!" and then awkwardly trying to redirect the conversation.

I also think Curt's DMA accent would be along the lines of New Jersey or Boston. Mainly because it's an accent he can mimic SUPER well (thanks Ms Mega!). I've always had the headcanon that Curt is really good with languages and accents which sort of contributes to this.

In terms of physical appearance I don't imagine this DMA to look like Joe Walker. But I don't really have a solid grasp on what he does look like. However, I really like the idea of him wearing these black goggles on his head that he finally puts over his eyes during the torture tango.

Just imagine the light of electricity getting reflected in these bad boys during the torture tango. While Curt's got this massive grin that, in any other context, would come off as friendly and dorky (if not a little bit smug). Scary!

Also, because it's Curt, I imagine he fidgets a lot. Maybe in the background of scenes where he's not doing things he'd be practicing tricks with a butterfly knife or cracking his joints.

Ok back to plot stuff.

I like to think Owen figures out the identity of the DMA at some point shortly before the reveal. There's a clear moment where the clues click together (Like those jigsaw puzzles sitting abandoned on his coffee table). But Owen sort of shrugs it off just out of sheer denial. He knows its true, but it's not until the reveal where he's forced to confront it.

I know realistically this would end in only one of them walking out of the staircase scene alive (I couldn't even tell you which one). But my heart really wants for there to be a happy ending. Like most of this, I'll figure it out eventually.

[dross-the-fish]

So, Adam and Erik have similar backstories, what's the difference between them?

There's not as much overlap as you might think tbh. Erik suffered a lot of abuse but to some extent his isolation was self-inflicted. True he retreated underground to escape from a world that treated him like he was a monster but we still see he has the ability to maintain relationships of a fashion, such as with the Daroga, and he does go up and do mundane things like shop while wearing a prosthetic nose. He's not totally isolated. He even indicates that if Christine were to marry him he'd be totally chill to go back and live in an apartment like everyone else, he just doesn't want to do it alone. Erik is a character who's suffering is enhanced because he's always adjacent to getting what he wants, he can exist in society but never as well or as comfortably as other people, it's like getting table scraps at a buffet, so of course he's angry and resentful. The Creature doesn't even get that. There isn't a single soul he encounters who acknowledges his humanity, except for Captain Walton at the very end when it's already too late for him. Also the fact that the Creature's main target is his creator frames the story a lot differently. Erik wants a living wife, Adam just wants companionship, any companionship but preferably he wants his creator to take some responsibility for making him. I also feel like their anger is very different. When Erik kills it's a fit of rage and histrionics, it's impulsive and there is a desperation to his actions that almost seems to indicate that he's spiraling. When he finally gets to the point where he threatens to blow up a quarter of paris if Christine doesn't marry him you really feel like he's reached the end of his rope and completely lost it. There's a sense of a ticking clock that's about to hit midnight and this leads me to the theory that Erik knows he doesn't have much time left, that's he's quite possibly dying and he's desperate to have what he wants while he still can The man is completely gone and doesn't care who he takes with him anymore because he has run out of time. Adam meanwhile feels a lot more calculating. There's a deliberation to what Adam does that is pretty chilling to think about. For as much as Adam cries about not being treated like a person he doesn't really see the people he kills as people either, all of his victims are extensions of Victor. Adam is obsessive and driven similarly to Erik but the goal and the execution is different. I've always felt The Creature's was a very cold sort of anger. It's very, "Fine, if a monster is what you want then a monster is what you get. I am what you will make of me." If he can't have love he'll take hatred but he won't be ignored and he's certainly not going to go away. Even after he knows he can't get what he wants he keeps going just for the sake of revenge because that's all he has, it's the only relationship he can ever have to Victor so he'll take it.

[legolasghosty]

if this doesn't scream boggie, i don't know what does: They smell like sparkles and sunshine and I want to kiss their stupid face so bad

Bobby slammed the apartment door behind him, heading straight for the couch. He didn't slow down until he was flat on his stomach, his burning cheeks hidden by a Gayosaurus throw pillow ("Like a normal gay, but more awesome!") that Willie had found somewhere six months ago. Bobby wasn't ever sure where he found this sort of thing. He'd given up on asking when they were still in college, the two of them and Alex randomly paired up in a freshman dorm.

"What happened here?" the previously mentioned pillow finder said from somewhere above Bobby.

The soft click of Alex closing their front door properly was followed by the drummer's sigh of, "Reggie, what else."

Bobby felt the couch dip near his feet as probably Willie sat down. "You wanna talk about it, dude?" they asked. Bobby couldn't decide if their tone was sympathetic or teasing.

"No," he mumbled into the pillow.

Look, dating your bandmates didn't work out well. Reggie and Luke had been together for a bit when they were all in college and it had burned hot and fast. Bobby had been sure the band would break up for good when they called it quits. It had taken a whole new person, Luke's now queerplatonic partner and their band frontwoman Julie, to get the two of them to talk it out and become friends again. Even then, it had been a rough couple of months for all of them.

So, no matter how pretty Reggie was or how sometimes Bobby thought he leaned a bit closer to their shared mic than necessary, they couldn't be a thing. It wouldn't work.

"Dude, you can't just keep ignoring it and hope it goes away," Alex sighed, now sounding much closer. "Remember how I tried that and it failed? Epicly?"

Bobby lifted his head just enough to shoot Alex a glare. "That's not the same thing," he protested. "No offense, Willie."

"None taken," they chuckled. "But Lex has a point. Shoving it down doesn't work, and it might just turn out better than you think."

Bobby dropped his face back down to the pillow and flipped them both off. "No."

He felt a foot nudging his shoulder, indicating that Alex had found his perch on the back of the couch above him. "Bobby, Reggie likes you back, you guys just have to get your acts together and talk about it."

"Hypocrite," Bobby mumbled. But he groaned and rolled onto his side, glancing up at his roommates and best friends. Maybe talking it out would help erase his stupid crush on his bandmate. "I know he maybe thinks I'm cute or whatever, but it wouldn't work. The band almost broke up when Luke and Reggie did, and I can't be responsible for doing that to you guys. I just can't."

"Okay, I get that," Alex began. "But what makes you so sure the two of you wouldn't work? I mean yeah, Luke and him didn't go so well, but there were a lot of reasons for that."

"Very much including the fact that they were 19 and neither of them had actually been in a serious relationship before," Willie added. "And I love them both, but their communication skills aren't the best now, let alone two years ago."

"You and Reg are good for each other," Alex continued, giving Bobby that heavy, open stare that he usually masked behind several layers of sarcasm. "He gets you out of your routine and trying new things. You help him slow down and talk things out."

"You're both better people for being around each other," Willie agreed, one hand resting on Bobby's ankle. Then the corner of his mouth quirks up. "Not to mention the fact that you guys practically make out at the mic every other song."

"We do not!" Bobby insisted, forcing himself up on one elbow. "Mic sharing is totally normal."

"Mic sharing, yes. But you two take the phrase 'eat the mic' a little too literally," Alex laughed. Then his amusement faded. "But seriously. You like him. He likes you. And we're all semi-functioning adults who can at least pretend to be emotionally mature. At least talk to him."

"Even if you decide not to give it a shot, at least you'll have been honest with each other," Willie said.

"But what if it messes everything up?" Bobby asked, hating how small his voice sounded. "I mean, yeah, he smells like sparkles and sunshine and I wanna kiss his stupid face so bad, but I don't want it to destroy the band. Or our whole... family."

Willie's expression is now solidly in the sympathetic zone. "But what if it makes it better?" they countered. "I mean, Lex and I were great as friends, and we're better as partners, and we're both better friends to the rest of you because of being together."

The smile Alex gave them for that is enough to make Bobby fake gag and throw the Gayosaurus pillow at them. But... maybe they're right.

"Hug time?" Alex questioned.

Bobby just nodded, suddenly feeling heavy at the possibility of having Reggie as something other than a bandmate. But heavy in a good way, like crawling under his weighted blanket at the end of a long day.

Alex dropped down onto the couch beside him, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and pulling him in. Bobby let Willie resituate both of their legs on his lap. He usually wasn't one for being manhandled by his friends, but it was nice to let them take care of him every once in a while. He tried to focus on the clean and salty scent of Alex's hoodie and the easy movement of Willie's thumb on his ankle.

Maybe, just maybe, they had a point. At the very least, he owed it to Reggie to let him be a part of the conversation, right? Bobby let out a soft sigh. This meant he'd have to actually have a conversation about it with the bassist. But he was getting better at those at least. It was 'healthy' or something. Maybe it would be okay. Maybe they would be okay.

"So..." Willie mused after a while, "what do sparkles and sunshine smell like?"

"Screw you," Bobby groaned, hiding his face in Alex's chest.

[eldritch-spouse]

Pinnie. I am going to eat your ocs I love them so much ahhfjwhdjiixjs /pos /gen

((If you want, how would member of the clergy react to being like- bitten?? In a loving playful way?? Cause I like- gnaw on things/people I like and I wanna make sure I don’t get my ass kicked))

-Valentine’s Anon <3

[I'm sorry, I don't use a lot of tone indicators, is "/gen" supposed to say "genuine"? Also, thenk ye eitherway.]

Reaction to being bitten (cuteness aggression?)

Morell will manually grab your jaw and shut it. Listen. He's poisonous. If you end up actually tearing a chunk out of him, which is unlikely, you'll probably have a quick reaction to his natural poison and die. It's really cute of your feral ass, but he would rather not see you spasm on the floor and froth violently because you were impulsive enough to ignore his warnings.

Santi moans. Because what else were you expecting, really? Although his skin is mostly very dark, he encourages you to bite harder so that a mark will be left. He loves wearing claims on his body, you're allowed to bite anywhere. He doesn't just return the favor, he's very opportunistic and will get as much saliva on you as he can. Then wait for the effects to take...

Grimbly's instincts tell him you're hungry when you're doing that. So he's probably going to get flustered and suggest you go out somewhere to eat. It actually makes him jump and yelp, even if your teeth are quite blunt, his lizard brain says you're going to tear him open using fangs you don't physically have.

Gallon will let you bite him and then promptly trap you. Have you ever seen those cartoons where a character gets their tongue stuck to something frozen? Yeah, that's you smartass. Then, he'll act as if you won't let go of him, which is quite rude, you know? He thinks it's honestly hilarious, you can eat a piece of him if you want, but he doesn't taste all that good.

Nebul will always see biting as a punishable offense. If you want to be a dog so bad, he'll get you a little muzzle. It's only coming off if you ask politely, and after an adequate apology, naturally. Matter of fact, maybe you'd like a chew toy too. Sit still, he's sure he has a bowl somewhere. Now that you've fully embraced your role as a mutt, things will be much easier. He's scary, you'll never know when he's joking or serious.

Vinnel wonders if you just enjoy the taste of fabric. Also, stop that, you're getting him soggy. In his dickish ways, the performer will rip someone's shirt off and offer it to you, so you can chew and drool on it rather than him. He may look like one, but he's not a doll, so kindly don't mess with his life support. He'd bite you back, but it's not worth the risk, so he just laughs and pinches you hard when you start chewing.

Patches shamefully enjoys the pain, so he won't really say anything about your weird habit. He's going to sit there awkwardly with bated breath, silently wishing you would bite harder, and in more places. He's probably the one who loves this habit of yours the most, all things considered. You'll probably get him to moan too at some point.

Fank-e thinks this is hilarious. Yeah sure, bite him all you want! It looks silly! You will most likely damage your teeth, he doesn't feel a second of it. But hey, if you're biting him, it means you're paying attention to him, so in his eyes, it's a good thing. Does he taste good?

Belo doesn't immediately understand what this behavior means, so when you bite him, the angel's just going to be upset and ask you why you're so mad at him. Once it registers, he's going to ask you not to do it so often for a couple of reasons. One, it's distracting, two you're soaking his fur, three- You're probably also eating some of his fur and that can't be good for you.

Sybastian is probably one of monsters you definitely don't want to bite, because he absolutely bites back, and a love bite from that bear trap of a mouth is a total gamble in terms of how maimed you'll get. He welcomes biting however, so do it at your own risk. More than that, he prefers licking, which is less dangerous for the two of you.

You have a lot of nerve to bite Krulu. You know he could just make your teeth fall off one by one if he wanted to, yes? Although he senses your affection, you must learn other methods of displaying it adequately. Do it too often and Krulu will pretend to return the gesture just to frighten you.

[fallloverfic]

@nnayomaise mentioned you on a post “i don't think enough people understand that, as a...”:

@fallloverfic i think he had to be suicidal before his dungeon, (not as much as he is in the current story ofc) but purely because he chose to become a dungeon lord knowing that it would eat all of his desires and he would wither away and die- and for him having a place to go, he could very easily have left his dungeon and gone back to the canaries (yes they would've killed him but they likely would've just revived him) which would be the right thing to do, he knows this

​(continued): "he knows the process of how they remove dungeon lords, he knows this is how canaries literally save the world from the dungeons, he probably thought a lot about backing out and essentially returning to reality but the goat manipulated him into staying then ate his desire to return"

I don't personally think anything about his decision to go with and stay with the mirror/goat indicates he was suicidal at that point, and you kind of disprove this yourself by indicating the goat - an outside force - was manipulating him into his decision(s). To each their own headcanon, obviously, and I like crunchy background for Mithrun, but here's at least why I don't think we have canon evidence for Mithrun being suicidal before he was abandoned by the demon.

In Bonus: Miscellaneous Monster Tales -6-, we learn just how dangerous magic mirrors are:

The manga notes this is specifically a moment of weakness, to an object specifically designed to steal his heart. Sometimes we all get caught on bad days. This was one of Mithrun's (he made the mistake of not ignoring the mirror). He was strong back then, but he wasn't invincible.

As the Adventurer's Bible notes about the Central Watchtower (his dungeon), "Since it hadn't had a lord for a long time, it was believed to be nearly collapsed. Mithrun was dispatched to investigate a nearby rash of disappearances and got taken in." (133). This was relatively routine/not a big deal, but it got him in a chance moment. The goat struck while the iron was hot. As the Adventurer's Bible explains, "Once, while under the impression that his older brother had stolen his beloved, Mithrun wished for a life where he hadn't joined the canaries. As a result, he fell under the spell of a demon" (74). This is framed largely as an accident/bad luck: we can't all be vigilant forever, after all. He even comments about these things to Kabru earlier, "You wished for those things... . . . You wished, so the dungeon provided. . . . Don't wish often." (p.157, Chapter 61: Roasted Walking Mushroom, Volume 9). Even casual wishes can have major consequences, and that desire attracts the demon (e.g., when Marcille is trying to get control, the demon acts on her subconscious desires for protection, and the only solution they have is to trap it in a book):

A moment of weakness against resolve to continue can perhaps imply he had depression he wasn't addressing, and was likely desperate and missing things he'd sacrificed, and was vulnerable to manipulation, but none of that really indicates specifically that he was suicidal. Knowing a bad thing could happen to you - even perhaps a form of death - when performing your job doesn't necessarily make you suicidal, though it might make you a bit reckless and/or foolhardy. Firefighters are not, by definition, suicidal. And there's really no evidence that Mithrun was in his right mind when he made his wish/went with the demon. As we see with Sissel, Marcille, and Laios, the demon is a master manipulator who knows how to overwhelm its targets, where even casual things you don't actively think about can lead to your undoing.

"and for him having a place to go, he could very easily have left his dungeon and gone back to the canaries (yes they would've killed him but they likely would've just revived him) which would be the right thing to do, he knows this"

How easy would it have been for him to leave? We can see what it took to get Sissel and Marcille to leave (Sissel ultimately fell to the demon, Marcille was a special case that involved large groups of people working together to find alternate solutions), and even what the demon used to keep Laios from enacting his plan when Laios becomes lord of the dungeon (chapter 88 is really great for showing just how skilled a manipulator the demon is; and even with fail-safes, Laios + Co couldn't get around this). And it's clearly indicated from at least Kabru's perception of Mithrun's backstory that Mithrun worked hard to stop anyone from coming in to get him while he was dungeon lord. It's easy to, academically, know how to solve a problem. It's another to make it work in the field. The only reason anyone was able to drag him out was seemingly because the demon "hadn't eaten enough to build up sufficient power" and "vanished" (p.185, chapter 62: Six Days, Volume 9). Mithrun had no apparent desire to leave, and was actively working to stay, likely in part because he was under the demon's spell. He even notes in the Complete Adventurer's Guide that the demon's love is compelling to the point of mental collapse. His knowing, logically, that leaving would have saved him, did nothing for him, because a lot was working against him, including powerful magic and his own human weakness for things he could have if he stayed. And him choosing to stay, despite likely somewhere in his head knowing what would happen if he didn't leave, again doesn't make him suicidal. I doubt he was thinking of the consequences all that much: he was too focused on the fantasy the demon made for him. When you're in the middle of a high, you typically aren't thinking of the comedown.

There's also another reason he probably wasn't thinking about it, that we see with Laios (and Marcille, and even I think with Sissel): a lot of us always think we'll be the one to get one over. We think we're smart enough or strong enough to succeed where others fail. Only Laios managed to succeed in part because his plan was so ridiculous and the demon's own overconfidence got in its way. In the Adventurer's Bible, Mithrun notes that before the dungeon, he "looked down on everyone." (76). He was arrogant. I imagine that part of why he probably wouldn't have given up had he thought about his potential fate was that he thought he'd succeed in surviving. His story is very much one of hubris (e.g., his thinking for why the demon took away his eye and ear ends). In the Adventurer's Bible, we see his confidence when he approaches Milsiril to talk to her (86), and we see how he is in combat. He was confident, and self-avowedly arrogant. That's a dangerous mix.

There is some vagueness for how other dungeon lords who weren't Mithrun, Marcille, Sissel, and Laios got out of their situations: we know there are a number, because we see them in the Complete Adventurer's Bible during the group chat scene set up by Pattadol. If it's explained somewhere how they were rescued/removed, and if for some reason Mithrun knew that could be him, too, but he chose not to for specific suicidal reasons, I have no idea. cartchytuns in the notes noted that they were probably freed when Laios got rid of the demon at the end of the story, since the demon in every dungeon was all the same demon, and I think that makes a lot of sense! If this is what happened, that means even fewer dungeon lords left the dungeon of their own volition/abilities, and that decreases the likelihood that Mithrun was able to, and increases the validity that he just actively chose not to.

Mithrun was jealous, angry, arrogant, and had seemingly some form of imposter's syndrome, possibly due to being an illegitimate son when his legitimate brother was someone he viewed as inferior, but his supposed superiority didn't save him from getting sent to the Canaries, which he is bitter about. He perhaps sometimes wished at least somewhat for things he didn't and perhaps couldn't have. As he notes in the Adventurer's Bible, "And instead of [his brother], my parents sent me to the Canaries. I couldn't forgive any of that." (76). He was also good at hiding/masking all of this and pretending to be light-hearted/have no problems and "perfect" (in Milsiril's words). He was very clearly deeply unhappy and hiding it. His already being suicidal is a neat headcanon! And good luck with it/any fics! The fun part of the story's ambiguity is how much we don't know and how fanworks can fill in those gaps! But as of this moment, I really don't see canon evidence for him being suicidal before he was abandoned by the demon.