#even if they're not actively discouraging it sucks

[gateskp]

I'm thinking of yeeting some of my writing onto Tumblr...I really want to share my stories with people, and I don't know how to do that.

My dream has always been to be published and see my stories in book format on shelves in stores, but that dream has been dying a slow painful death. The traditional publishing industry is just...such a mess. It's caused me so much pain over the years that it makes me want to quit. Somehow I haven't yet, but the thought of seeing my books on shelves is a distant dream that I've come to realise just might never happen.

I wish I had friends to share my stories with. But every time I send a manuscript to someone who says they're interested in beta reading, they ghost me. And that hurts just as much, if not more, because I beta read everything they send me. It's happened multiple times, for multiple stories. I've just stopped sharing because of that. I don't even know if they realise how discouraging their ghosting is. I know life happens, but at least say that and back out of the commitment.

Idk, maybe these are just ramblings, I'm trying to figure stuff out. But if I posted stories, would anyone read them? I just...really want to share my words.

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

I really really hate to be that person - especially because I know a lot of people are under the impression that fanfic authors are greedy and we should be grateful for any comments we get, even if those comments are full of unauthorized concrit, even if they're kind of rude, even if they're weirdly self-shaming (sometimes insinuating that people should feel bad over reading the dark or smutty content in the fics or that we should feel bad for writing it in the first place even though you're also reading it??).

But like, lately, I have been getting so many comments along the lines of "this fic should be longer!!" "I wish this was a series!!" "please turn this into a series!" "I would read endless sequels of this!!!" - today someone literally commented on one of my fics saying that it was a war crime that the fic was 30k instead of being 'a whole series'. And I totally understand the mindset that if something is good, you want more of it. If you enjoy something, you want more of it. But these comments are definitely not as flattering as people think they are.

When reading those comments - it doesn't always come off as a compliment. Most of my fics range from 5k to 30k on average, and they are usually oneshots or oneshots that I have split into multiple parts in order to be more readable - most of my longer, ongoing series are abandoned because I didn't have the steam to maintain them. (Most people don't know at all how hard it is to write a good, coherent, well-plotted 100k fic and actually keep up with it.) After I post the fic I have written later this week, I will have written over 400k this year alone, with my entire AO3 having over one million words split between 79 different fics.

So often, having people look at my fics and having their only comment be to 'write more' - feels like an insult. Because I do write more. I have written more. I write consistently. (It just sucks that people have almost nothing to say about what I have already written.)

Having people look at my fics - usually very long fics - and go "hey, this would be better if it was longer!!" or "hey, that was good, but the only productive thing I have to say about it is: make it longer" - it always feels very discouraging.

It doesn't make me want to rush to write more of that fic. In fact, most of the time, I actively avoid working on sequels to fics where the only comments are 'more please' because I know the only thing people will say about the sequel is 'when are you gonna make more?' - and oftentimes, I don't intend to make more.

I have said this in another post, but the ending to my fics are always intentional. I don't write fics with the mindset of turning them into a 100 part series. I write fics with the mindset of making them like a film or a short TV series - telling a capsule of a story with a very intentional beginning, middle, and end. And if I write a sequel, it's because I feel there is more to be told - but I will also cap off that sequel with a very intentional ending.

(Also, don't get me started on the complex of - if fics don't have the classic 'happy ending' people feel like every single thread needs to be resolved until it gets to a more classic happy ending, when I love writing intentional melancholic and thoughtful endings.)

Also - in general, I feel like people don't understand how much work goes into a fic. It might take you about 2 hours to read a fic that's 30k (and a lot of people who are avid readers probably read faster than that, reading it in an hour or less) - but concepting that fic, writing that fic, and meticulously editing that fic so that it can be readable and pleasant for people takes upwards of 20 hours of work. I would say realistically, upwards of 30 hours. And those are just working hours - hours sitting at the computer actively working. That doesn't include the time spent in between workshopping the ideas in my head while I am doing other mundane tasks in life.

It's very, very easy to consume a 30k oneshot in one sitting and then hold out your plate and go "more please!!" without putting any thought into how much work went into the original fic.

All of this just to say - please think about these things next time you are commenting on a fic (or even closing a fic without commenting at all), or doing something stupid like generating a fic with AI - which steals from everyday hard working fanfic writers. Fanfiction is hard work - it's a labour of love, and it shouldn't be about blind consumerism where you finish one and then rapidly start looking for the next one. You should appreciate each one like a good, hand pulled taffy instead of gobbling them all down like cheap candy mass made by factory machines.

Yeah - I think that's it.

-your local over worked (but still passionate) fanfic writer

[khaire-traveler]

This is not an invitation for discourse. I am just stating my personal opinions.

I've been seeing some posts going around lately about myth retellings and wanted to give my opinion on something: I think the helpol community (maybe other polytheistic and pagan communities, too) is honestly too critical and intense about modern retellings (and even some historical ones as well somehow).

I know what it's like coming from that critical point of view. I used to be highly critical of certain retellings and stories that used Greek mythology. They used to deeply bother me, actually, but overtime, I realized that staying mad and fuming about these things I can't change - that will always be created - is really exhausting and even causes me to miss out on some truly interesting stories.

Also, seeing how intense some people can be about retellings has actively discouraged people in the community from writing them. How do I know this? I am one of those people, and I happen to know several others in the same predicament. Some people in the community will rip and tear and claw at retellings as if the retelling murdered everyone they loved. People talk about these retellings as if they're literally destroying the earth itself sometimes - like, seriously, y'all, it's wild.

Once, I saw someone post a short story they wrote - a retelling of a myth that I won't name, as I don't want to give the identity of this person away. This person posted this story with good intentions and was a worshipper of the figures depicted within the story, but still, they got absolutely dragged by larger Tumblr blogs and were torn into and literally chased off of Tumblr. This kind of behavior is not ok for multiple reasons, but the main point I'm trying to make is that we are actively making it harder for people within the community to write retellings. You want retellings from people who actually worship the gods? Then maybe make the community a much less judgmental place because sharing creative works takes a lot of courage as it is. Imagine building up the courage to create and share a retelling just to be ripped into by the very community you are a part of. I'm not saying you can't mention to someone when they've gotten something wrong or have written something potentially problematic, but I am saying that you shouldn't ruthlessly dissect someone's work and rip them a part if they seem to be well-meaning but misinformed (assume the best; not everyone is out to get us; easier said than done, I know). You can give criticism while still being respectful to the original author.

For many of these other authors, however, they likely don't even know that worship of these gods exists in the modern day, and even if they do know, acknowledging it may not be relevant to their story, or even their point. Sure, in a perfect world, these authors would acknowledge our little community and pay homage to actual ancient traditions/culture/etc, but we don't live in a perfect world, and that's ok. It is ok, y'all. Not every author writing a retelling is going to be a literal classics major or historian. Not every author writing a retelling is going to be educated on the actual ancient -or modern - worship of these gods. Not every author writing a retelling is going to pay homage to original source material. Do those things suck sometimes? Yes, absolutely. Do we need to lose our heads over it? No, not really. We can choose to focus on other things - on material and media that we actually enjoy and that do depict things how we'd like them to be depicted.

Now, none of this is to say that there are no problematic retellings or that speaking out on problematic retellings is wrong because hoo, boy, there are quite a lot of those. Some retellings claim to be historically accurate and are, in fact, not; some retellings are written by authors with less than ideal values and ideologies; some retellings are even based entirely on misinformation which can be frustrating to hear about. All of these things are true, but it's also true that not every retelling is out to get us. Not every retelling is trying to attack our small community and the gods we worship. As alarming and offensive as it can feel sometimes, it's important that we take a minute and realize that honestly, authors write stories, and sometimes a story is truly just meant to be a story. It's nothing personal. It feels like we, or our gods, are being attacked, but at the end of the day, we still have our own practices, and we are still allowed to engage with those practices. We are still allowed to worship our gods respectfully, even if others do not. And it is important to acknowledge here that others do not worship our gods. These authors are most likely not worshippers of the Theoi. They most likely do not have relationships with these gods as we do, and unfortunately, they may not have respect for these gods either. It would be ideal if they did, but they just might not, and there's no controlling that.

Honestly, most authors are trying their best. They're trying their best to write an interesting, authentic story that will capture the attention of their intended audience. They want to tell a story based on a mythology that inspired them so deeply, so carnally, that they felt the need to write a whole ass book or create a whole ass game about it. They see stories of tragic heroes, powerful gods, and all those caught in-between, and they think, "This is fucking epic; I'm gonna do something with this." Greek mythology is fucking cool. There's absolutely no denying that, and the fact that so many creators of all kinds continue to create retellings based on the love and passion of a mythology from over 2,000 years ago is pretty damn awesome, actually.

[himbeaux-on-ice]

some new non-comprehensive thoughts on Pride and the meaning of warmup jerseys

(the following is drawn largely from my twitter thread)

honestly, i think the Panthers have like the Sharks taken the best route you can in a bad situation. and there's relief for me in that.

don't cave and undermine all the planning and work you did in order to cover for a few homophobic players. let it land on them. do not stop for their sake. thank you.

idk, personally the teams that backtrack on the jerseys entirely to cover for homophobes in their ranks leave me feeling way more angry and disillusioned than the ones where 90% of the guys are still out there in those jerseys and just one or two dipshits loudly sat out. i would have been way more disappointed by an entire organization making the decision to coddle and shelter homophobes than i am by the revelation that 2/18 players suck but the rest of them got with the program.

maybe that's a low bar. but yeah, i'm weirdly relieved that the jerseys made it to the ice at all. that so many chose to wear them.

it's like. at least some people cared enough to stick by us and not be cowards, y'know? even though dipping out was an option, somebody answered in the affirmative when asked if they'd stand with us. several somebodies did, actually.

when teams pull back entirely, we don't even get that much.

people talk about the "epidemic" of homophobia in the NHL and whether it should change how/if teams do Pride nights, but i would take an epidemic of 1-2 idiots per team sitting out of warmups over having an epidemic of all teams deciding not to do Pride at all because of those few. i would, genuinely.

are they "hijacking the events" or "taking away from the meaning of them"? idk man. these days bigots show up where queerness is visible to spout their bigot shit regardless. i have two pride flags in my hockey twitter display name, trust me, i know. at least when it happens like this, there's also people and an organization supporting us instead of just leaving us to deal with it alone.

does finding out some guys are homophobes suck? yeah. but we always knew these people existed. they're just showing themselves out loud.

and that blows. and it hurts.

but also, the entire rest of the team and the organization showed who they are tonight by not protecting or accommodating them, too.

i'm seeing so many people feel hurt by the two dumbasses who wouldn't stand beside them rather than encouraged by *every* other member of the team who *chose* not to cop out. and like. i get your hurt. but everyone else CHOSE to stand with us.

think about that for a second. sitting out was clearly an option here, if they put up enough of a stink. and yeah, two guys took that out. but *every other player* DID NOT. on the Sharks and Flyers, all but *one* guy apiece got with the program. some of them even did really meaningful community work!!

and the Panthers franchise decision-makers stood by their choice to do this, loudly and with meaningful activism attached, in FLORIDA, even when two of their own players pulled the religious protest card and copped out.

i extremely, massively respect that. i really do.

maybe i'm just a terminal optimist by nature, but. to me, what we are seeing is that when given the choice, so far the vast majority of players on these teams are still choosing to participate when given the option. when it's not taken out of their hands entirely by people upstairs.

the outliers suck, but they are just that. outliers. and i hope they feel like it.

personally, i'm not leaving this sport i love just because it's got a stubborn lingering jackass infestation. they can't have it. no, *you* move.

also, shoutout to the guys who extremely voluntarily opt-in even though it's not even their team's Pride night. genuinely means something

people vocally being asshats is discouraging. yeah. it always is. it stings.

but all is not lost. not by far. keep your head up. and stay loud. 💜

[windienine]

ugh soulsov on the brain again. spoiler-laden ramble time.

-

i think my favorite part of the game's story overall so far is the really clear dynamic between "person who passively lets himself die" and "person who really, desperately, actively yearns to be alive"

that yearning is ysmé's core character trait. all of her really jarring traits-- the lies, the pageantry, the honest and open disdain for everything about the mosaic-- it's because she desperately wants something better for herself. when she's asked if she's here to save the world, the "yes" that comes out of her isn't mocking or trying to get the moment over with. she wants to save it! the mosaic isn't in imminent danger, but it's rotten from the inside and it makes her angry and desperate enough that she'd do anything to change it!

loïc has a lot of that exact same disdain, just... quieter, kept to a few polite words or his internal monologue. he doesn't like living in a rigid theocracy, and even before things with lia escalated to the point they did the game makes a point that he is not a practicing religious guy, he saw the beating heart of what the mosaic lives on and thinks it sucks.

the difference is that loïc's honest response to this is "the world is a terrible place (though i won't say that openly, it might discourage somebody) and i hope i can make it a bit better-- for somebody, for anybody, for you-- before everything eventually crashes down."

and ysmé's is "fuck you. fuck this. fuck the Church, fuck the tower, everything has to change and if that means setting everything that makes this world recognizable on fire and building something better out of the smoldering ashes then i will be all the happier for it."

loïc lived pretty comfortably in polite society for most of his life until losing his kid made him abruptly fuck off to nowheresville in search of a cure (or, rather, to carve himself up to give to people piece by piece until there was nothing left to lose, yay suicidal tendencies) and whatever the hell is up with ysmé she doesn't even have a surname. girl's a wanted criminal who has gone total scorched earth on everything, even if she hasn't held that status for very long.

and you can't really have positive change unless you have a little of both of these attitudes. loïc's got this understanding that people are worthwhile just because they're people and violence should be avoided whenever possible, and ysmé has a powerful will and an ability to imagine a future where things are better (even if only for her/by her standards.) i want to learn more about what she actually wants out of freedom as a concept. (girl, why are you wanted by the Church? what HAPPENED to you?) the two of them already have a lot to learn from and gain from existing around one another, in terms of compassion and drive, respectively.

alternatively, because things will inevitably get worse with these two before they get better, ysmé fully has the potential to force her (often impersonal and cruel) worldview onto loïc and force him to bloody his hands when the going gets tough, and loïc can sit back and let it happen with a smile on his face because inaction is so much less painful than taking the reins and making his own decisions that will inevitably accomplish nothing and go nowhere like they have for months now. besides, he's already committed to helping her. what's he going to do if she goes too far and actually kills someone this time? decide helping her was meaningless, too?

the prelude's narrative needs you to be in loïc's head, hearing his thoughts, and generally sharing a good deal of his ideas for most of its runtime, but i feel like that's going to change in future chapters as we see more of ysmé's past and perspective.

[kingbuffy]

God, have we not evolved? Haven't we been over this topic a million times before?? When you're shipping a non-canon mlm ship, and one half of that ship has a canonical relationship with a woman, stay with me now, that does not mean you have to bash her and spew hatred for her to prop up the mlm relationship. In fact, I would actively discourage doing that.

This is about my frustration with the way a lot of wintersberg fanfic treats Mia Winters btw. The thing that sucks about this, is like there's no nuance, because Mia is a morally grey character, a lot of fanfic just jumps to demonizing her. I would LOVE a wintersberg fanfic to thoughtfully unpack how Ethan would deal with his feelings about Mia were he to have the time. Mia did a lot of things that hurt Ethan, even if she had the best intentions, they still cost him everything. Why can't there be nuance acknowledging that? Mia's done a lot of shady things regarding her relationship to the Connections and Miranda, but Ethan's feelings about her would be complex, if he knew everything I think he would be very angry, but I don't think he would just stop loving her like a lot of fanfiction jumps to. Plus, she's clearly gone through her own mega trauma like Ethan, she just processed it differently than he did. She loved Ethan, it's why she thought she was doing right by him by not telling him the truth. Like, as someone who really loves wintersberg because I think it's fun, the Mia hate is not necessary for the ship to work. They're both dead, it's not like Capcom's gonna make them canon; you don't have to convince them you weirdos.

Also: the fanfic's not finished yet, but Deal by @tabikato seems to actually care about Ethan's complex feelings about Mia without it feeling like character bashing, which I really appreciate. It's also a pretty convincing wintersberg fic, which is a plus. Wintersberg fanfic has a habit of going way too fast into the romance, and I end up not buying it. Karl's an asshole and Ethan's very stubborn. It's gonna take a lot more than Karl's crush to bring them together.

[rindemption]

You know what? No, this needs to be talked about

Back in the beginning, Male V Monday was started as a way to help masc V ocs get more love because they were pretty much ignored. It was for fun, there was no requirement to post your male v photos on that day only, and at the start, it was mostly people reposting their own work celebrating their ocs.

Fem V Friday was started.... for equality? Jealousy? I'm not actually sure, someone else came up with that idea and it took off too, and that was when it started being a "post your new photos on a specified day" thing.

In the beginning, when the fandom was new and still growing, it was just a fun activity. A way to help people reliably find content they wanted and a way to help newcomers get traction.

It's not anymore

Now it's almost an obligation. I've felt it myself, I've lamented it between friends. If I post something outside of those specified days, they get ignored. Especially a male v posted on Friday.

So when people complain, it's for a reason.

Also, how dare you claim that the reason someone isn't getting notes is because their art sucks. How dare you say "it's you boo". How dare you discourage anyone from making art. How dare you try to act like you're so much better than someone just because of notes on a social media network, just because you personally don't feel the pressure, just because you've ignored what it is they're even justifiably complaining about. Grow the fuck up

[orange-orchard-system]

honestly the whole "but I never noticed!" stuff sucks because I have experienced something similar where, well they told me I was being offensive for me trusting them with something that was scary for me! they just assumed I was being offensive to people with DID because I said: I think I got a headmate?. and instead of just idk handling it in a good way they said I was being really bad and refused to let me talk about it. I ended up discovering im a DID system 2 years later- and btw we've been a system for longer than that, ig you can't peer into someone elses brain after all/s

(Apologies for answering this late; thank you for your patience)

The idea that questioning whether you are an identity or have a disorder/disability (let alone those who are questioning a neurodivergency that may or may not be a disorder, a mind-blowing idea for so many) is somehow offensive to people already sure of those parts of themselves has never ceased to baffle me. That is not how questioning works at all – it's a personal journey of self-discovery and self-exploration, not an insult or slight against someone else!! Ugh. No idea where people get this idea from. But I digress.

You never really can tell for one hundred percent certainty what's going on with someone else's brain (or their body, for that matter), and discouraging people from trying to figure themselves out rarely ends well. Even if you don't think they're on the right path, it's much better to give that concern with compassion than to just shut them down; even if you're right about them being wrong, do you really want to become "that jerk who acts like they know me better than I know myself"?

It's incredibly disappointing whenever people act like this. It's not activism, it's not helpful, it's just plain being rude.

[mayxthexforce]

Posting it separately because I have no intention of starting discourse in a post where OP's only point was that priests are hot in a forbidden fruit type of way.

I'm so tired of seeing this take on Jedi and I wish there was a tag to blacklist to avoid it.

It's just the blandest, most surface level, Palpatine's propaganda believer level of understanding of the Jedi code. It's some "Oh the Jedi are not like US, they don't form bonds with people, they're incapable of love because they won't fuck me specifically" speech you'd hear from an antagonist in the SW universe. An emotional bond is not the same as an emotional attachment. Are some Jedi weird about intimacy due to the no attachments rule? Yes, Obi-Wan Kenobi himself was like "I should be punished by the council for wanting to hold Siri's hand while she's sad." when he was A LITERAL CHILD and actively misunderstood the Jedi code.

The Jedi code discouraging attachments because they lead to possessiveness and selfishness is nowhere near the same as the Jedi being unable to love or bond or be intimate with people, and especially not the same as them refusing to do so by choice. They're defenders and protectors of life, someone who doesn't love, who refuses to love and bond, cannot be a Jedi. Look at Dooku and Pong Krell, they sucked and fell to the dark side because they didn't love selflessly, because even before falling to the dark side they had selfish and straight up hateful detachments to those around them. The whole point of the original trilogy was that Jedi must love without attachments, and that's what saved the galaxy: the fact Luke loved his father but was willing to let him go, and Vader loved Luke more than he hated the Jedi.

Also??? Saying "the Jedi have too much compassion and empathy to have casual sex"??? Tell me you were raised by the weirdo kind of conservative that based people's worth on their genitals and how much use they gave them outside of marriage without telling me.

And as a side note, IMO the Jedi aren't like priests. The Jedi are not a religion. Because a religion is a particular system of belief in and worship of a superhuman power or powers, especially a God or gods. The force is not a superhuman power in the SW universe, it's in everything and everyone. It'd be like saying that believing in gravity or in microorganisms is a religion. We've been shown many Jedi who have their own religious beliefs. The Jedi are more like scientists than priests, you can have a Muslim scientist, a Jewish scientist, a Catholic scientist; just like you can have a Jedi who worships the Naboo goddess of protection, or Twi'Lek Jedi who worship their own goddess, or Mirialan Jedi who wear headscarves for cultural and religious reasons, or Wookiee Jedi who celebrate life day. Jedi, like scientists, just so happen to have a higher understanding of the workings of something that very much exists than the average person. Because while not everyone can be a Jedi or a Sith, just like not everyone can be a scientist, anyone can study the force. We have characters like Henrietya Antilles who wrote entire books about Sith culture and artifacts and their uses, and she doesn't have a pinch of force sensitivity in her.

[craske]

I don't want to sound pretentious when i say all this (and this ended up being really long??), but i really do think you don't need to uphold your online presence so consciously, or even at all. There's nothing wrong with being "inactive" because trying to show up for everything is some sick standard social media made up. Maybe it might be difficult to uphold an idgaf personality, but i can say from my experience it could be better to try a little bit at a time. I can say that they really do mean it when you can have quiet admirers, from my experience all the more. Maybe they're too shy to put silly tags when they reblog or just put a like on your post. And I don't think you have to worry too much about sticking to one piece of media and be afraid the people following you won't like you anymore for posting different content. At most, I just believe they won't really care enough to unfollow you or stop engaging entirely. The most important thing to me is that you stick around doing the things you actually want to do, even if you're just showing up every month or so, or black out for a year or more. Because the people who do care will be overjoyed to see you whatever you post or share, especially when you come back after a long time. It really is discouraging when you don't see that actively, maybe because we're so used to seeing numbers that relate to our worth. But i like to imagine we're waving at each other from a distance or smiling through a window, as horrid as online landscapes can be nowadays. I know i'm running my mouth here but i just wanted to share my experience because i um. 🙋 also think youre really cool and awesome and i love whatever work you do and the fact you share it is an amazing thing enough i feel privelaged and youre humor is funny and whatever new stuff you post is just introducing me to things i'll also think is cool down the line and i really do wish i can share my appericiation more and evolve from being a quiet admirer /inhales/ 👍 i would say this is a sort of love letter from the gas station but i also mean it as kai 👋 i hope you're doing well in uni or that it gets better soon or in whatever it is youre doing now. and whether or not youre online, i hope youre doing the things you enjoy 🫶

okay i needed some time to figure out how to respond to this ask because theres a lot (in a /pos way dont worry) so ill start off with saying that i really really and i do mean it Really appreciate what you said here. Especially lately, ive been struggling with being active online outside of small spaces where there are just me and a few other people. might be me feeling overwhelmed when i say something into the void with a high chance of no response, though i wont fault anyone for that. i myself know interaction is scary so i do get it. ever since i started using the internet ive stuck to my small online bubbles so yeah interaction kind of intimidating online

and though i agree it does feel discouraging to sometimes see no feedback or much of a reaction, i try not to be bummed out about it myself because im also a silent admirer of many artists online. so like ive said before i do understand that sometimes people are shy and dont interact directly and theres no pressure really to change that. just the idea that there are people that like what i make is really nice, even though i suffer from the same issue that maaany other artists have and i need to actively remind myself of that.

about sticking to one fandom its a very recent but big issue to me because ive been DEEP in the persona pit for like 4 years, and i certainly built an audience around that. i know there will always be people that stick around no matter what but despite that theres always that nagging feeling that maaybe things will crumble. obviously thats not true but human mind fucking SUCKS

as the final note ill say it again that your message means a lot to me and i thank you a lot for it <333 im soo flattered by your words and they made my past two days, thank you soo much

[iztopher]

watched the barbie movie! had a bad time, unfortunately. inaugural use of my hater tag.

fourteen year old iz who wanted to explore femininity and was being actively discouraged by their mom and whose moral ocd made them think that wanting to like their appearance and making any changes to it made them vain and selfish and a terrible person (i'm talking like, cried after getting my nails done level of Bad because it made me irredeemably vapid) would have gotten soooo much out of it. twenty four year old iz? felt really alienated and gross.

on one side of things i feel kinda foolish for expecting more, but the thing is i don't think my expectations were that high. i was absolutely not expecting the barbie movie of all things to outright embrace or even support gender nonconformity, i was just expecting it to... not feel actively hostile to it, especially seeing trans people love it and say it spoke to them! which, to be clear, I don't begrudge anyone that and I can see why people would get a lot from it in that way. I'm really glad they did. it just made my expectations higher than they should or would have been.

like this movie was so very There Are Women and There Are Men. there are barbies and there are kens. in a way where the audience was expected to align themselves with one of those, no other options, which is about what I expected, but what I hoped for more from is what those women/barbies and men/ken were allowed to be like?

like, idk, there's a whole room of Empowered Politician Barbies and they're all wearing short tight pencil skirts and there isn't a single one there wearing so much as a pastel pantsuit.

but the really egregious thing that made me so viciously uncomfortable is seeing sasha, this girl who wears dark colors and long sleeve shirts with baggy pants - this girl who looked like me in middle school and high school - enter barbieland and immediately be magically shoved into these pink and purple pastel frilly dresses. to see that used as a way to symbolize her opening up, becoming a more warm and accepting person. whether intentional or not a big message of the movie ended up being women can be anything, but there's only one way they can be any of those things.

and it just... kind of sucked. it felt bad to see this celebration of a world that i and people i care about have no place in lol.

[icemankazansky]

(tw vent if that's okay if not you can just delete this, thank you <3) honestly though the hate in this fandom is... so discouraging. like ive been writing fics for top gun & tgm but the fact so many people are so set on being hateful & not respecting others, and now there's a whole burn book blog like... idk i just don't feel like i should put myself out there. which is really sad because i really want to interact. and i know the fandom wasn't like this prior to tgm, and that makes me sad too because i came in after tgm came out, and I just feel so sad that even though im not part of the problem i'm still part of like, the wave of people that flooded the fandom. which would have happened even without me being here, but idk, i just feel... sad, like it feels like tgm (even though it's a really good movie that a lot of people genuinely and innocently love) really screwed ao3 up and sorta just hurt everyone and is still hurting everyone. idk.

it just sucks that fandom is supposed to be a place that brings people together and makes happiness and instead I just feel so drained and upset when I think about posting fics and exposing them to the fandom and apparently whole discord groups to like, pick apart. it's just really sad and sucky.

anyway if you made it this far thank you very much for listening, I really appreciate it and I hope you're having an okay day even after that topgunburnbook thing and all this drama

Oh, my dear. As Saint Kesha says, "Don't let the bastards get you down. Don't let the assholes wear you out. Don't let the mean girls take your crown, don't let the scumbags screw you 'round, don't let the bastards take you down."

First of all, don't worry about the burn book people at all, because most of their posts have zero notes. It's just a couple bitter people who think being mean is edgy, and no one is even following them. So, that is a non-issue. It doesn't affect you.

And don't worry about AO3. You didn't do that. It does suck, but it's not your fault, and it's not the end of the world.

The thing that happened when Top Gun: Maverick came out and brought new fans into the fandom is that the fandom got big. And that is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, you have all these wonderful creators who are just discovering the movies and the characters, and they're bringing in great new stories and art and meta. I've met a lot of wonderful new people who are just like you: They just want to have a good time in this fandom and interact with other fans who share their passion. And honestly, most people are like that.

The problem is that big fandoms have big fandom problems. Think of it like this: Before TGM came out, the Top Gun fandom was a small town. Everyone active in fandom literally knew everyone else, either firsthand or from a, "Hey, you wrote _______; I love that story! Oh my gosh, and you're _____'s friend? That's awesome. She's the best." This creates a harmonious atmosphere, because everything is personal, it's small enough to be self-governing, and because everyone knows everyone, everyone is accountable for their actions.

After TGM came out, Top Gun fandom is no longer a small town. It's a big city. And it has the same problems that all big cities have. People generally don't know anyone except the people in their immediate circle, so that causes factions and in-grouping, and an "us versus them" mentality. This is why you get shipping wars and stuff like that. The fandom is too big to self-govern, and everyone is here to have fun, so it's not like we're going to elect a governing system, but between that and the fact that everybody doesn't know their neighbors personally, there's no accountability anymore. So for one, there's crime now. For example, there has been a lot of theft since more people joined the fandom. New fans are just straight up stealing content from other people and acting like it's their own. And what are we going to do, call the cops? No. It's just something we have to deal with because we live in a big city.

And, yes, the relative (and, on Tumblr, often literal) anonymity of being in a large fandom where no one knows you does encourage some people's terrible behavior. I talked about psychological and sociological studies of anonymity a little while ago, and the gist is: When anonymity is an option, the general chaos of the system does increase, but individuals just act like themselves, but ... moreso. Think of it like the Captain America serum or the mask from that Jim Carrey movie. Anonymity, even perceived anonymity like being just one person in a large system, just shows what you're really like inside. It dials you up to 11. And most people are kind and leave thoughtful questions or wonderful comments in ask boxes, or just go around with positive thought memes made up of happy emojis just to brighten others' days. That's most people. This small, ugly portion of the fandom that is using the fact that they cannot be held accountable as an excuse to hurt people is aberrant. They're the ones who don't belong here, and you can't let the fear of being their target keep you from enjoying all the good things a big city can afford you. Like, small towns are the bomb, but there are wonderful things that big cities can support that small towns can't. Like International Street where you can get different food from all around the world. Big art galleries. More resources for mentorship. More clubs and opportunities for you to find exactly your niche, and people who share it with you.

You didn't do anything wrong. Things grow and expand. You should be enjoying everything this city has to offer. If you feel comfortable, I would love you to come off anon and message me, and we can talk about getting you comfortable putting yourself out there in this fandom, and maybe I can connect you to some resources or some other really great people in the fandom. We want to hear from you. We want to talk to you. We want you to publish your work. We're happy you're here, truly.

[armoredisopod]

Can't even pretend to be excited about this bruh the main map sucks in terms of actual map design and the damn risk contracts so i just copied this guide and called it a day

Despite all its flaws i really do think the Pinch-Out format can be good and the new dailies focusing on fun mini-game challenges instead of the old CC stat bloat dailies is legit very good!! it's just that this event (and to an extent CC Pyrolysis) really doesn't inspire confidence and i feel like they're actively discouraging day 1 clears with the bullshit initial risks which doesn't really help any possible discussion to be had about this gamemode

Also fun fact max risk is practically impossible because of all the stat boosts making Dorothy basically invincible and you can't leak her and i think that's really funny

[avathestarwarrior]

Hey there Ava, I wanted to say something in regards to those posts you recently made about your characters and art as a whole. Apologies in advance for the essay ahead, I had a lot to say and I really feel passionate about this because, hey, I've been there and I don't want to see you discouraged over this. First I want you to know that you aren't alone- when I was your age and still learning the ropes of art I felt exactly the same. All my friends around me what felt like suddenly jumped in their skills and only perfected their characters (design and story/personality-wise) while I sat stagnated in both. My characters were one-dimensional and I had little to no understanding of the major principles of art. And without a doubt, it is discouraging because they're being noticed for it and I hadn't made any ground in improvement at the time. This is a horribly common feeling especially for those without any access to formal training/teaching and beginners alike. Most of my friends lived in places where they could easily gain professional guidance and tools (usually through college, many countries allow you to jump to college while still in mid-teen years onwards), while I remember having to teach myself everything and struggling to learn even the most basic digital programs. Neither my high school or college (that I went to art classes specifically for, even the introductory ones) ever went in-depth when teaching the basics, and so generally I never had that strong foundation all my friends built onto. It's painful, but it's going to be okay because there are ways to help this. Now real quick, I'm going to go ahead and address what you were saying about your characters and art. Being completely honest, you were one of the first people I followed when joining this site, and I've really enjoyed seeing your work. While you may think that others would ignore your work over currently higher-skilled artists, I need you to know that there is a certain joy in watching someone find their way in a skill and grow within it. Drawing and designing characters (and yes, even writing them regarding their backstories/personalities) is a skill. For some, naturally they jump off and fly right away, with little to no friction. But for others? There may need to be a little more guidance and work. Some people also learn more slowly than others, and that's nothing to be ashamed of. You do not "suck" at these things. You just may need more supplementary sources to help guide your growth is all. That leads me into my next point;

When I said that you aren't alone in this, I don't just mean "I've been there". I also mean, there's an insane amount of free sources that are online you can use to push yourself forward. Pinterest has a lot of good references ranging from 'how to draw this' to 'something I can use for inspiration' and you can easily amass a huge collection for just about any of your drawing needs. Also YouTube! I stagnated in my art and designs for years, but when I started actively seeking out tutorials my skills slowly-- very slowly-- grew and I was able to not only learn new things but also build off of them from there on. Some of my favorite tutorial/art/design tips channels are: -Marc Brunet (short and sweet, easily digestible tutorials on drawing from a professional game artist turned art teacher. Just about anything drawing related is on his channel). -Brookes Eggleston - Character Design Forge (a channel specifically for improving character design (and a few tips on personality qualities as well) and some of the principles you can use to apply when designing). Both of these channels also have tips for the whole mental aspect of these things, which is very encouraging and helps when trying to get out of a mindset that may be hindering you and your progress, including artblock and feelings of inadequacy. I apologize again for the long ask, but I really hope this helps you in some way! Know that you're not in this journey alone and that with some time and a little bit of guidance, you will improve-- which I want to also say that it's much easier for others to see than for you to. At the end of the day, try to be a little more compassionate towards yourself, because it can only get better and I know you're doing your best. The fact that you're posting your art and characters online like this is already inspiring enough to many who are afraid to even start, and I genuinely mean that from experience. As scary as it is, maybe ask some of your friends or artists in general that you look up to for tips, most people are happy to provide insight on their work when asked politely- and definitely seek out some resources for yourself as well, those that I mentioned are without a doubt a good start. I wish you all the best of luck, and please take care! <3

Thank you there friend for this long ask. After reading this, I think I forgot something important! I already know these things and I have't tried it out recently! Thank you so much for reminding me and everyone who might come across this that we are indeed not alone. I am truly touched and I'll make sure to never underestimate myself again! Sadly I don't know exactly who you are (Although I assume you were like the first one to like the rant post I just made) but thank you again. And I hope that maybe you can like DM me? Anyways, thank you so much!

[betweenlands]

I had to blacklist it and unfollow a bunch of people too :// I'm still looking at some posts occasionally since it's not triggering my romance replusion too badly *yet* but it's very discouraging lmao. not to mention the amount of people who went around talking about how 'well arospec people shouldnt be upset about people simply reblogging/making shipping content' when?? I haven't seen a single person talking about how shipping content is bad just how much it sucks for it to be considered *the norm* for interacting with anything and to have no way to avoid it. arospec ppl will say one single thing that mentions not liking romance and a billion people come out of the woodwork to ""explain"" how we're wrong, except this time they're saying we're completely against shipping instead of homophobic (not that we don't usually get that too lmao) (also absolutely understandable not posting this ofc!)

no yeah this is very much the vibe. literally i have seen nobody going "the shipping is bad" (at least on this site). every single post i have seen abt it has either been "please don't be an asshole about people not interpreting something as romantic" or "please tag shipping so people can blacklist it"

like. okay. i'm sure in some cases people's wording is just a little unclear, and i do not want to Go After anyone for this. i'm sure our wording has been a little unclear, and in some cases may have come off as aggressive even when not intended to. but there's a difference between that and "if i see anyone /p this it's On Sight" which i have seen. multiple times. repeatedly.

and also i cannot make it clear enough how much i don't mind shipping! i just mind when it takes up the entirety of a fandom to the point that characters get Actively Mischaracterized for ships and it becomes almost impossible to find content that isn't ship-focused in some way. like uh. what's currently happening with [DATA EXPUNGED]

just. tag things. it's just one tag. or have like a disclaimer that you don't tag ship content on your blog so people can curate their experience accordingly. that's all people are saying (well, that and stuff about amatonormativity, but. i don't think people are ready to be normal about that conversation honestly)

[the-invisible-queer]

sorry about that, I just get frustrated when my parents act like my life is going nowhere in my 20s and using the "getting older/won't be here any longer" card. Like they try to mean well but they leave me emotionally drained and exhausted

You don't have to apologize

TRUST ME

If ANYONE understands feelings like a failure and having your parents hammer it in THINKING they're helping ITS ME

I get the "I'm worried about what's gonna happen to you when I die" speech from my dad almost everyday.

You have to understand I am 27 years old. I was the golden child of my siblings. I was supposed to be the first to graduate college. I was supposed to get my PhD. I was supposed to do GREAT things.

Instead I'm mentally ill, unemployed, dropped out of college TWICE, have had 4 suicidal episodes this year and it's only April.

I understand how much it sucks to feel like you're not doing enough.

ESPECIALLY when you're trying your best but your best is never acknowledged.

Sometimes your best is even insulted which then makes you just want to give up completely because why are you even trying when no one cares?

I fully understand the struggle bestie.

And I'm not gonna tell you it gets better because I don't fucking believe that myself. They've been telling me that since I was 11 and it's just gotten worse.

But what I will tell you is don't give up.

Sure it's scary. Sure it's hard as fuck.

Don't let the discouragement win.

Everyone has a purpose. And maybe your purpose isn't something as big as curing cancer.

I believe my purpose is to support my little brother because I believe that he's going to go on to do GREAT things.

He has a passion for getting kids out of gang activity and I think that's his calling. I think he's going to achieve amazing things with his music.

And it is my job to support him and help him get there.

And that's enough to keep me going.