#even though he said other people drinking around him genuinely doesn’t trigger anything

[sillybadger]

meanwhile Guy Who Has An Aggressive Crush on me has revealed two red flags and just. …..when I joked about how I need a man who is obsessed with me I didn’t mean just any man come ON

[jess-moloney-malarkey]

Long anon from the 13th & 17th back. I’ll just sign off with “🖤” from now on so I don’t have to announce that. 😂

The nut jobs (one anon) over on the other blog are bent outta shape over if Jamie will post something for Sam’s birthday today. Like it’s really not that serious.

I wouldn’t hold my breath on Jamie (or Jess for that matter) posting for Sam’s birthday. Jamie didn’t last year and no one was torn up about it. Him not sharing a story wouldn’t “be a big sign things are not OK” as the anon said. I’ve literally never in 20 some odd years said “happy birthday” to my sibling online, yet always called them to say it. I don’t think it’s an issue. I don’t think it’d be “worrying” as the hate blog replied either. I’d start worrying if March fifth comes and it’s silence from him. If he’s silent on his sober date, then we should be more worried than we already are.

Also 👏👏👏 for you on handling yourself with the other blog today. I personally have sent her multiple asks about different things knowing they’re not her opinion and she doesn’t publish them. Some not even too far off from her opinion. Maybe her blog started as genuine concerns for Jamie, but it’s a hate blog that she gets off on the power trip from. She talks a lot about Jess being a narcissist, but narcissists get off on being in power and feeling superior. Both of which we know the woman behind the hate blog does.

As I’ve sent you before, I’m not a Jess stan. Plenty of things don’t add up with her. But, the hate blog comes up with the most heinous stuff that then trickles through the fandom because so many people take her word as law. She spends the majority of her days “researching” and trying to debunk whatever she hyper-fixates on with Jess. The obsession couldn’t be any clearer.

The nonalcoholic drinks thing has gotten way too big. I genuinely don’t think the hate blog’s been a fan of Jamie for longer than Stranger Things because I think majority of people in his fandom have known for years that he’s drank nonalcoholic drinks. Long before Jess, Ruby and Matilda. Hard to argue the man’s been so heavily influenced by three (not counting Lily) girlfriends that they somehow force him to drink nonalcoholic drinks that MAY have small traces of alcohol. Also love that you pointed out multiple people have always drank alcohol around him including his family. They literally always have. A point I brought up to the hate blog that she never published. Some recovering alcoholics don’t find it triggering and he obviously doesn’t. Jamie’s a grown man. He knows his limits.

Sorry I always send long asks.

— 🖤

Hello again! No worries about the long asks!

They also were so hung up on the fact that on Jamie's birthday, Sam wasn't seated DIRECTLY next to Jamie at that party lol. Which, the party itself was a whole other big thing for them that I'm not even going to get into... But anyway, their fixation on social media posts is wild. As if there's only one way for people to communicate and it's through Instagram stories. Jess is always damned if she posts anything, damned if she doesn't post something. If Jamie posts, it's either a cry for help or because Jess forced him to post something. If he doesn't post, Jess is holding his socials hostage and isolating him. There's no pleasing them.

The obsession is astounding though, for sure. Imagine what they could accomplish if they spent this same amount of time on something actually productive.

It feels like they're not even a fan of Jamie really. They just have such a negative view of him in this shadow of Jess.

[stellar-imagines]

HEADCANONS REQUEST: ❝autistic S/O.❞

[ Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia ] [ Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Todoroki Shouto, Kirishima Eijirou ]

「Headcanons of Bakugou, Todoroki and Kirishima with an autistic S/O.」

BAKUGOU KATSUKI

♤ Bakugou will burn the whole world for you if he had to. Everyone thinks that this guy is just too loud, aggressive, and intense but he's the complete opposite with you. Of course, your first impression was that he was loud. Not to mentions, he kind of seemed like an asshole with all the name-calling and yelling he does every single time. Sometimes you think that he's just constantly angry no matter what. You avoided him as much as you could at first, not liking how loud he normally is. He's gotten into trouble for being too loud, scolded by his friends since it drew a negative reaction from you. And he actually tones down for your sake.

♤ As your boyfriend, he tries his hardest for you. He always plays it cool and confident to keep up his image but in reality, he's super worried about you. The first thing he does was to become a better person by learning about you and your autism. He doesn't want to corner you and ask you multiple questions, not wanting to make you feel uncomfortable. So he decides to do his research on autism. Some of his friends had caught him reading books about it and glancing at you occasionally. It ended up with him denying it but everyone was touched to know how much Bakugou cares about you.

♤ Stimming? Man, he's somehow happy to see you do it but he makes sure that you're not harming yourself. He loves it when you’re playing with his fingers but he's lowkey insecure of his hands because it can get sweaty at times. Bakugou may not be able to comfort you with words but his actions speak volumes. He gives the best hugs and lets you play with hands and hair whenever you feel a bit anxious. He helps you explore ways to stim and ended up buying a lot of things for you. But honestly, he likes it when you rely on him to calm your nerves instead of some inanimate object.

♤ This guy never shows interest when someone is talking to him unless it was something that concerned him but when it comes to you, he listens to everything. His friends always complained about how he only pays attention to you and no one else but really, it's a good thing that he only has eyes for you. You may talk constantly about specific things that interest you and be completely unaware that Bakugou might not have the same level of interest. But no, he lets you talk as long as you want, he finds it cute that you can talk so much despite having trouble with normal social interactions.

♤ Overprotective? He's definitely an overprotective boyfriend. He literally yells at others to keep it down when they're being a bit too loud. Bakugou always has this urge to protect you whenever you're outside together. There were very rare occasions where you go out on dates and he's always on alert. The moment he sees a huge crowd, he will steer you away from it and ensure that nothing gets in your way. He's really great at getting you out of situations that overwhelm you and he's surprisingly good at comforting you. All he wants is the best for you and to become the boyfriend you deserved.

TODOROKI SHOUTO

☆ A good boy who understands how you feel. Hate crowds and sudden loud noises that make you jump and cover your ears? Prefer being alone with very few people accompanying you? Having trouble communicating with people? Yep, Todoroki understands it all. This guy enjoys his time with you, he finds your presence comforting since you understood his feelings the best. You two will be sitting side by side just enjoying the silence and avoiding noisy situations. Todoroki is quiet by nature so you never have to worry about him raising his voice all of a sudden like the others.

☆ Super honest with his feelings and when it comes to initiating affection, he always asks for consent. Todoroki is usually blunt with his feelings and he's super patient with you. On the rare occasion you didn’t catch or understand what he was saying, he has no problem repeating and attempting to make things clearer for you. So you really never have to worry about Todoroki getting impatient with you. Really, this kid has the patience of God himself, it makes you wonder what you did in your past life to deserve him. That being said, Todoroki is still the better one at communicating compared to you so he's always the one taking orders during dates.

☆ Consent is super important to him, this guy is deprived of touch for so long. His mother was out of the picture for quite a long time and his father was not the type to dote on him so you get the point. He always asks for consent before touching you. His touch is always gentle and cautious as if one wrong move will trigger you. He just loves it when he holds your hand, you instantly intertwine your fingers with his. He finds it cute how you would swing your hands while you both walk together. He likes it when you get all nervous when he asked if he could kiss you.

☆ Oh my god, this boy will get so flustered if you stim by toying with his fingers. You're just too adorable for him when you happy stim, it tugs his heartstrings. He tries to learn more about autism together with you, thinking of it as a way to communicate with you and to get to know you even better. But of course, there were things that he couldn't learn from you, he decides to read more on the internet or even ask his friends. When you stress or panic stim, he stresses and panics too. He's just so afraid that you might end up hurting yourself and feels very upset that you are feeling this way. He gives you the warmest hug and tries to calm you down.

☆ When you're info-dumping ― Todoroki likes that call it likes that ― you always pull him down to sit next to you. Todoroki can actually sense when this is going to happen and often brings you to his or your room. The two of you will sit side by side as you go on and on about whatever. Todoroki might not really know what you were talking about at first but he's listening to everything. He might not catch most of what you were saying but just seeing you look so enthusiastic and smiley is enough to make him smile. Overall, your relationship with Shouto is made of understanding each other, patience and trust. You both are a match made in heaven.

KIRISHIMA EIJIROU

♡ Kirishima knows that he can be loud sometimes but he's nothing compared to Bakugou's volume of course. He's naturally friendly and cheerful so his voice can get a bit loud sometimes. Feels super guilty and apologetic when he notices that his loud voice made you uncomfortable. He will lower down his volume whenever he's with you, keeps his distance, and ensure that you don't feel pressured at all. Doesn't hesitate to tell people around to quiet down in your presence, he knows that his group of friends can get a bit noisy. He wants you to get along with his friends and as much as he loves his friends, he cares about your well-being. Plus, his friends are nice and they understood your situation.

♡ Always has his eyes on you, like all the time! Even Aizawa has ratted him out for staring at you too much in class. But this is because he worries about you. He will fight anyone who dares to disrespect or make fun of you in any way. He never forces you to go out on dates with him. This boy is content on staying indoors, enjoy a good movie and snacks with you. But when he goes out with you, he orders food for you and asks things on your behalf. Basically, he does all the talking for you especially knowing how nervous you get. It's as if he's your father or something. Kirishima is more of an overprotective dad than a boyfriend at this point.

♡ This guy is big on affection. Though he’s really touchy, he never really initiates anything first. He knows that you sometimes have trouble showing affection back and can get a little jumpy when he just hugs you out of the blue. Kirishima has his own way of telling that he has your consent, he's been with you for quite a long time so there were the signs. Things like when your pinky brushes against his, you want to hold his hand. When you scoot a bit closer while you're both sitting side by side, you want to cuddle. This boy never forces you out of your comfort zone because he prioritizes your well-being.

♡ He doesn't really get it when you're stimming at first, he had questioned your behavior once and you told him how you're doing this to calm your nerves. Kirishima eventually finds the little things you quite cute. He slowly learns what stims you like to do when you're uncomfortable and he will be there by your side doing it with you in hopes of making you feel better. He never cared what kind of things you like to do. You were always repetitive, you always suggested the same movie and anime to watch, he was fine with it. You wanna eat [Favorite Food] again? Go to that little cafe that serves [Favorite Drink] every weekend? He's all for it.

♡ You want to talk about potatoes for over an hour? Hope you don't mind him doing other stuff at the same time. He loves listening to you while he does something else. Most of the time, he would be working out or something while you ramble about something. Different from Bakugou and Todoroki, Kirishima is more of a reactive listener. He shows genuine interest in what you're talking about. He will try to get into all the things you like because he wants to be able to talk to you about it ― plus he can see you look so excited and all cute.

Total: 1739 words Published: 25.07.2021

Thank you for requesting! ｡٩(ˊᗜˋ)و*｡ We hope you liked it! ― author Lou

Thank you for requesting it! Hope you enjoyed this! ― author Natsuki

Requests are closed! Matchups are closed!

Please do not mind the grammar mistakes and typos.

[missjaystone]

“Don’t Wake Up”

Pairing(s): Steve Rogers x Reader | Bucky Barnes x Reader Summary: Work keeps you busy. That's why as long as Steve's gentle and doesn't wake you up, he's free to do what he wants while you sleep, but what he wants is his best friend to feel what he feels. Word Count: 1,800

Trigger Warning(s): Somnophilia, NonCon/DubCon, Drugging Please DO NOT ignore trigger warnings and read at your own discretion.

Life was unpredictable, anybody who knew exactly how their life would go was either omnipotent or the most boring being alive. Early on you learned to roll with life's punches and that's how you were where you were right now. A top SHIELD agent trusted with a great deal of knowledge and an almost insane amount of clearance, working closing with the Avengers. You rose thru SHIELD's ranks fairly quickly, especially for someone of your age. You were mid-level when they unfroze Captain America. You were one of the people entrusted with the task of helping Steve warm up to this new 21st-century society, pun not intended.

Once the initial shock of being thrust into this world had worn off, you and Steve developed a comfortable and vital friendship. You two spoke multiple times a day and saw each other frequently. The two of you were together so often, people used to joke that if one of you was around, the other wasn't far behind and they usually weren't wrong. It was no secret nobody was surprised when Tony loudly made a scene when he saw you two sharing a New Year's kiss. Tony shouting "I knew they'd end up together! I fucking knew it!" to everyone on the Avengers team and a handful of SHIELD agents wasn't how you two intended on exposing your relationship, but life is unpredictable.

Things around you gradually became more complex but that wasn't a surprise, you just kept rolling with the punches. The battle of New York happened, Ultron happened, Hydra's infiltration of SHIELD happened, the team grew, the entire situation with the Sokovia Accords happened, the complexities already on your plates multiplied. Of course, you stuck with Steve thru everything, you never stopped having faith in him. There were a handful of times where you could've turned and stopped fighting but how could you abandon your Captain? You loved him. Over the years all the fights, all the curveballs, everything wore on you both and the two of you had to change with the times and adapt to your surroundings. You were both changing before each other. There were times where you didn't see each other for weeks at a time; Steve would get busy with his missions around the globe and you had a mountain of SHIELD files to deal with; drives that had to be decrypted and stored properly, reports that had to go to a dozen different people, agents to recruit and review, clips to scour with minute details.

Things got a little bumpy when Bucky came to stay at the tower; Steve trying to help his oldest friend get accustomed to everything and you helping any way you could. You couldn't bear the thought of telling Steve when you started to feel uncomfortable around the brunette. The lingering stares, the prolonged hugs, the borderline-peculiar conversations; you brushed it all off. This was a man who spent 70 years as a mind-controlled assassin, he had everything ripped from him and now he had to readjust to modern society. He had to learn how to form relationships again, he had to relearn everything so there were bound to be moments of discomfort as he navigated his way. In all of that, however, you missed the small frowns and brooding moments he had whenever you and Steve were being overly affectionate together. He'd never do anything about it though, you were Steve's. He'd had his fair share of ladies back in their time but you were Steve's girl, you made Steve happy and Bucky couldn't-wouldn't take that from him.

When your workload multiplied again, you weren't as available as you used to be and it wore on Steve a bit. He and his super-soldier stamina had gotten used to a certain level of intimacy that wasn't happening anymore. It came to a head one night when Steve was in the mood but you were too tired to even pretend. Your words were mumbled as you snuggled against your pillow but Steve heard them loud and clear "do whatever you need to get off, baby, just don't wake me up." He asked if you were sure and got a hum in response but that didn't entirely suffice. He gave your shoulders a small shake until you turned to look at him. You looked tired and were so close to kicking him out of bed "Stevie, do whatever you want just please let me sleep."

You two still had sex other times, they were more intimate and personal though. In a mildly humorous way, that seemed to boost your relationship some. You'd wake up the morning feeling surprisingly peaceful for a few minutes before your work to-do list came to mind and Steve found out he enjoyed the idea of doing something he wasn't supposed to. He'd made it into his own little game; how much could he do without waking you up?

Tonight, you had your nose buried in your computer screen and papers were strewn across the bed; you were already exhausted but you still had a number of things to finish. You were pulled out of your hype focused state when the bed dipped beside you. The blue-eyed man offered you a cup of water with a sweet smile "come on, I haven't seen you drink anything in over an hour." You thanked him with a quick peck before taking a long and much-needed drink, thanking him when you set the nearly-empty cup back down.

Time felt like it began to drag on slowly, heavy tiredness slowly enveloping you throughout the next hour. You didn't even realize you'd dozed off until Steve was gently laying you down, pulling the blankets over you. "Steve, I still have work to do," you forced yourself to mumble, everything just felt heavy. "You can't even keep your eyes open, finish it in the morning," he said softly. He hushed you when you tried to object "Captain's orders, doll." You couldn't argue with that. Literally, there wasn't an ounce of strength or a grain of energy to fuel a disagreement. You were out like a light in a manner of seconds.

The blond stayed snuggled up beside you, stroking your hair soothingly to lull you into a deep sleep. No more than ten minutes had passed before the door opened and closed without a sound. An unsure Bucky stood by the dresser with his hands in his pockets and spoke quietly "are you sure about this Steve?" He nodded "I'm positive, Buck. I wouldn't have suggested it if I wasn't sure about it. I see the way you look at her, you deserve happiness too y'know." Bucky started to question him but Steve stopped him "she'll love you as much as she does me, Buck, it'll take some time and subliminal messages but she will."

Bucky looked at your sleeping form in thought, you were a nice person; you were smart, helpful, genuine, charming, you made him feel normal. He'd never be normal but if having you made him feel that way, who was he to pass up the opportunity? He quickly shed his pajamas while Steve moved your bottoms down. They'd been planning this for what felt like ages and they knew there'd be no going back, but it gave them a chance at a future they got to actually choose.

A thick silence filled the room as Bucky moved slowly to hover above you, lining himself up at your entrance with a slightly-shaking hand. With one last confirmation look from Steve, he slowly eased himself into you. He bit his lip roughly to keep from groaning and wake you up. The crushed-up Valium in your water should've kept you from waking up at anything but he wasn't taking a chance and getting too caught up in the moment. He finally broke the silence with a mumbled groan after finally bottoming out. Bucky's eyes fell closed and he stilled to savor the feeling, almost cumming right then.

Very slowly, he started to pull his hips back before pushing back in just as slowly. He continued like this for what he thought was ages and when the only response from you was a mumble here or a moan there, he slowly picked up his pace. Steve was in heaven watching the scene unfold in front of him. There was a slight pang in his chest for betraying your trust and not only letting but encouraging his friend to use you but he had a plan, a plan he was confident in. He started off palming his throbbing erection over his sweatpants before eventually pulling them down and fisting his member. There were a few moments where both stilled in fear when you stirred before settling. Bucky finished first, his hips jerking briefly before they stilled, a satisfied groan leaving his lips as he moved some hair out of your face. Steve finished when he watched him slowly pull out and came with a muttered 'fuck'. Steve quickly grabbed a few tissues, handing some to Bucky to clean you up while he took care of himself. Once the evidence was removed, the men shared a tight hug. Bucky actually looked a little more like himself now, he looked the slightest bit happier and more at peace.

In your unconscious and drugged state, all that you really felt was a sort of tugging pressure but you couldn't open your eyes. You heard voices conversing quietly after the pressure was completely gone and you felt the bed move as somebody got up. Despite your best efforts to listen, you couldn't make out the words. It took all of your strength to open your eyes even slightly but you could've sworn you saw a brunette figure leaving the room. There was no time to process it before your eyes fell shut again and you were entirely asleep.

You still felt a bit groggy when you woke up in the morning but nothing seemed out of place. Steve was quick to appear with a couple of mugs of coffee, handing you yours before he took a seat. He planted a sweet kiss on your temple. When you didn't say anything after taking your mug, Steve looked you over "are you feeling okay, doll? Are you coming down with something?" He asked, some concern in his eyes as he placed the back of his hand to your forehead for a temperature check. You finally took his hand and kissed his palm, sending him a smile "I'm fine, baby, just a little groggy is all. Crazy dream is all." Steve smiled sweetly at you “wanna talk about it?" An image of Bucky on top of you flashed across your mind and you shook your head “I don’t even remember what it was about.” You kissed his cheek softly and smiled. After all, it was only a dream.

[chudleycanonficfest]

Air

Our first story on Day 1 comes to you by @zurisenchantedquill !

Title: Air Author/Artist: zurimadison Pairing: Romione, side Hinny Prompt: Rock Concert Rating: Teen, borderline Mature? Trigger Warning(s) (if any): bit of snogging :)

Full disclosure, I was inspired by the song "Stay Next to Me" by Quinn XCII and Chelsea Cutler

______

Ron

“You have ten minutes,” Ginny says, smacking her gum as she stares at me. “Harry will be here soon.”

I don’t move from my seat on the couch. “So let me get this straight, not only are you forcing me into going to this concert tonight, but you also invited your boyfriend to my flat?”

“You like Harry.” She checks her phone. “Nine minutes.”

I do like Harry, but I’m not going to admit that to her right now. I try a change of tactics. “I had plans tonight, Gin. You can’t just show up unannounced and expect me to drop everything to go out with you.”

“Laundry is not a plan, Ron,” she says, texting furiously as she plops on the other end of the couch. “Mum says I need to get you out of the house because you’ve been moping since your breakup, and I knew that if I gave you warning, you’d find an excuse to bail.”

I can’t help but wince, reminded of both the recent end to my relationship and the correct assumption that I’m hiding away because of it. “I just need some me-time right now.”

She looks at me, cheek lit by her phone screen, and smirks. “Eight minutes.”

Whoever said Weasleys are pushovers has never met my little sister.

Actually, probably no one has ever said that.

I sigh and stand, making my way to my bedroom to change.

“Comb your hair or something, while you’re at it,” she calls. “You look a mess.”

“Thanks Gin,” I yell back, but then I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Sheesh, she wasn’t kidding. 

Seven minutes later, dressed and groomed enough to be presentable, I set off down the road with my sister and her boyfriend. 

“Go on then, who are we seeing tonight?”

“The Black Keys,” Harry answers, grinning. “I’ve been dying to see them for ages.”

I’ve never heard of them before, so I ask, “what kind of music is that? Rock?”

“Technically, more Indie Rock,” Ginny answers, and I can’t stop the small snort that escapes me. She shoots a glare that very clearly warns me not to take the mickey, so I hold my arms up defensively and clear my throat.

“Oh, sounds...erm, fun.” It’s lame, but Harry nods and starts rambling about his favorite songs. For all my trouble, Ginny graces me with an approving quirk of her eyebrow. Thanks Sis. 

The venue is close to my flat, so it isn’t long before we’re through the doors, pushing our way into the crowd. 

It feels like even less time before Ginny is snogging Harry, their bodies swaying in time to the music as her drink slops unnoticed on their shoes. They break apart every now and then to sing a lyric or two, then they’re right back at it.

I try to ignore it as I down my beer, but the venue is so congested that I’m constantly jostled into them. Not that they even seem to notice, mind you, but as much as I don’t care what Ginny does on her own time, it’s another thing entirely to literally have it shoved into my face. 

My bottle is devastatingly empty, so I mutter an excuse and snake away through the crowd, not finding it at all dispersed as I move further from the stage. I spot a bar in the back corner and fight my way over to it, feeling like a hero returning home after battle when I’m able to place my order with the bartender. 

It happens as I’m waiting for my beer. I glance down the length of the bar, more out of idleness than anything else, and I see her. 

She’s got dark curly hair that’s highlighted with honey, a red strapless dress that could bring a man to his knees, and, unless I’m much mistaken, she’s holding a book in one of her hands as she leans across the bar to be heard above the music.

I am struck with the impulse to know the color of her eyes. 

She seems to be alone, and is the only person in the venue actually sitting on a stool. I’m not altogether surprised when, after receiving her drink, she opens her book. She’s so absorbed in her reading that she doesn't notice the people bustling around her. She doesn’t even look up when the bartender hands a drink to someone over her head. 

It takes me two more beers, alone in the corner, watching this woman who has such impressive focus, before I work up my nerve. There’s a small opening in the crowd, so I decide it's now or never and throw myself through it. I slip to her side and deliver the almighty line that I’d been working on for nearly twenty minutes.

“Whatcha reading?”

I honestly expect her to ignore me or maybe genuinely not hear me, but to my surprise, she looks right at me. 

Brown. Her eyes are chestnut brown, with a dark ring around the outside. They appraise me before the corners of her round lips turn upwards almost imperceptibly. “Treasure Island.” She has to shout to be heard above the music.

“No way,” I exclaim, bemused. “That’s one of the few books I’ve actually read! Isn’t it crazy that Ben had the treasure the whole time?”

“He what?” Her eyes go wide as she gazes at me, slack jawed. “Seriously?”

“Wait, you didn’t know?” I ask, clapping a hand over my mouth. “I’m so sorry, I thought-”

“Just kidding,” she interrupts me, then begins to giggle at what I can only assume is my idiotic expression. “I’ve read this a million times.”

Her laugh is infectious, and I silently swear to make her do as much of it as I can. I lean against my forearm on the bar and turn sideways so I can view her better. Something about the way she’s looking up at me makes me feel brave. “What’s your name?” 

“Hermione.”

“Ron.” I extend my hand. She slips her tiny palm into mine. I shake it, but then I don’t let go. 

A drunk patron knocks into me, pushing me closer to her. I can almost see down her dress, I’m standing so close. “It’s too crowded in here,” she shouts as she glances over her shoulder. “So many random bodies pressed together.”

“We should go somewhere.” I’m not sure what’s gotten into me, but I don’t mind it when she rewards me with a tiny smile.

“Where? Outside?”

“I don’t care,” I say. “Your choice. I’ll follow you.”

She surveys me, looking as though she’s deciding. “Aren’t you going to miss the show?” 

“No,” I laugh. “I don’t know this band at all.”

“Me neither,” she admits. She’s nearly knocked off her stool by a surge of the crowd around us, and this seems to seal the deal. “Ok, let’s go.” She stands and winds through the crowd, never releasing my hand. 

_____

Hermione

I lead my tall, red headed stranger to the back patio, feeling instant relief in the cool night air as we step over the threshold. The music is much less loud out here, and it’s not as crowded. I drop his hand as I perch myself on the patio railing, sighing in contentment as my overstimulated senses are satisfied by the calming change in environment.

Ron flags a server for us, so I take the opportunity to examine him while he orders. He’s broad in the shoulders but narrow in the hips, though the shape is flattering in the way his t-shirt pulls across his chest. From underneath the material on his left arm, a full sleeve of tattoos runs enticingly to his wrist, leaving me with a burning desire to see the obscured designs. 

Tattooed and bearded. Just how I like 'em.

The server leaves and he turns his gaze back to me, reminding me of the thing so far that I like the most about him.

His eyes.

They’re almost turquoise-y blue, and seem to ripple like water. That alone would be sexy enough, but there’s something about the way they make me feel. They’re...kind.

He leans his back against the railing where I’m sitting, close enough that my leg is brushing his arm. “So, did you come to this show tonight because you like a little background music while you read?” 

I laugh. “No, my friends dragged me here with them, but I lost track of them pretty much the moment we arrived. Hence, this.” I hold up my book. “What about you? You said you don’t know the band either.”

“Nah,” he agrees. “I was also forced to come out tonight. But, I don’t fancy watching my sister snog her boyfriend all evening so…” He shrugs. His hair moves gently in the night breeze.

“Well look at us,” I say. “A couple of third wheels.”

The server comes back with the drinks: two shots of whiskey and two beers. I thank him as I take mine, and Ron raises his shot glass.

“Left your boyfriend at home, then?” He’s holding the whiskey expectantly, smirking while he waits for my answer.

I roll my eyes. “Very subtle.”

“Oh, you saw what I did there?”

“I did, believe it or not.” I hold my whiskey out as well. “To being single?”

It’s phrased as a question, and there’s a triumphant sparkle in his eye as he clicks his glass against mine. “To being single.”

“Cheers.” We throw back the shot. The alcohol hums just under my skin.

Ron doesn’t return to his previous position, but instead stands in front of me so that his stomach is against my knees. He places his free hand on the outside of my bare thigh, sending tingles down my spine. He meets my eye for a moment, as though asking if I mind, and in response I lean forward and place my free hand on his chest. 

The full, lopsided smile I receive in return is worth it.

“What do you do for a living, Hermione?” His voice is gravelly now.

“I’m in microbiology,” I answer. “I work in a lab.”

“Wow,” he lets out a low whistle. “Smart and beautiful.”

I laugh again. “What about you?”

“I’m a nurse,” he says, puffing out his chest. “I work in the ICU.”

Somehow I understand the kindness in his eyes even more. I’m so distracted by looking into them that I accidentally spill some beer all over my lap. “Oh no, I’m sorry!”

“Watch yourself,” he says, laughing as he grabs a napkin and dabs off my legs. “Why is your drink so full anyway?” 

“Yours is just as full,” I argue, offering my beer as evidence.

He looks between our two glasses and shrugs. “Maybe, but I can drink faster, so it doesn’t count.”

“How do you know that?” I demand, holding the beer up now as a challenge. “Chugging contest?”

His grin is evil and beautiful. “You’re on.”

“Three, two…” We both begin to drink as quickly as we can, though it becomes apparent to me that I’m quite outclassed. His Adam’s apple bobs distractingly and I reach out, tracing my finger down it before I can stop myself.

I freeze, my hand again on his chest, fingers grazing the skin above his neckline. When I meet his eye, he puts his glass on the railing and steps between my legs, wrapping his arms around me to bury his hands in my hair as he pulls me in for a kiss.

The way he feels is so distracting that I drop my own glass, still half full, on the outside of the patio, where it spills in the grass. I’m sure we could get kicked out of the venue for that, but right now I don’t care. I kiss my new friend Ron for all I’m worth. He tastes like whiskey and every flick of his talented tongue ignites tiny fires all over my body. 

We snog for I don’t know how long, until we’re forced to come up for air. He doesn’t step away from me, but keeps his face close to mine as we pant. 

“I can’t waste another second here, can you?” His whisper tickles my cheek.

I run the analysis, weighing my options even as my head spins from the snog. I grip his arms tighter. “We should go somewhere.”

His lopsided smile takes my breath away.

[kyun-toast]

[ATEEZ] Mafia!Hongjoong - Fateful

word count: 2.2k warnings: explicit language, gun use, death, mentions of alcohol summary: a feisty baby for a feisty scorpio a/n: I started writing this so loyal to mafia!ateez but now that I’ve watched kingdom, I’ve changed my mind - I wanna be a pirate hoe.

“You forgot your toothbrush.” You said, sat by the desk, arms crossed. “Good thing I didn’t finish unpacking right, you can take your shit just the way it came in the boxes, hmm?” You didn’t get angry very often due to the pure fact that your expectations for your boyfriend were so low at this point. The way that your words, let alone your face, held no emotion terrified the boy. He shuffled around your apartment, gathering his things with eyes to the ground in guilt.

“Can you hurry up? I have places to be.” You said, fingers massaging your temple.

Stopping in his tracks, the boy turned to you with pleading eyes for the nth time today, “Baby, I’m so sorry, please, I didn’t mean to hurt you like tha-”

“I’m sorry, what? You disrespected me, not hurt me, there’s a difference-”

“Why are you doing this to me? You know I love you.” He pleaded.

“Is that a serious question right now? You cheated with my assistant in your first week as intern at my firm, then tried and miserably failed to gaslight and manipulate me into believing your lies which I find pretty bold considering that I’m literally a lawyer. I respect the attempt though.”

“Baby, it was an acci-”

“No, shut up, I’m not done speaking. And you did this while I bought out this apartment for you because I felt bad for your sorry ass having to live with your dumb friends. I had to spoon feed you through law school and now through life too? You should be grateful that I’m letting you leave with all your things considering I bought them all too.”

He stood there with his hands gathered, staring back at the floor again.

“What. You got nothing to say? I thought so. You gonna leave now or what?” You questioned. He took his boxes, feet dragging across the floor to the door. You rolled your eyes as you closed the door on him. Before needing to look for a new intern and a new assistant, you needed a drink more than anything.

-

It was a regular Friday evening at the bar for Hongjoong and the boys. In celebration of Ateez’s successful expansion of their ‘business ventures’, Hongjoong had decided to spend the rest of the day at their usual spot. Despite having been set up for the sole purpose of laundering their dirty money, Bar 1117 was doing ironically well. Due to the nightlife business booming, Hongjoong had gained another alibi to keep him under the radar and he couldn’t be more comfortable with where his life was at.

“No, I reckon it’s Yeosang” San said, bringing the glass of whisky to his lips.

“I back that, he’s not got the emotional capacity for it.” Woo agreed, laughing.

“Yeah, just because I don’t take any of your shit doesn’t mean I’ll do the same to my wife. I bet Mingi. He’s definitely getting married last.” Yeo rebutted.

“What wh-”

Before Mingi could finish, Seonghwa cut through, “Considering our line of work, no one’s gonna be getting married any time soon. Right Joong?”

Turning to the leader of the boys, Seonghwa saw that Hongjoong had his head turned away from the conversation, eyes scanning up and down a figure at the bar. Hongjoong was never a man to be distracted by anything or anyone, always focused on his business so it was a rare occurrence for him to be looking so intently at a person. The boys catching onto this, they followed his gaze to a man sat so close to the lucky person’s face, his facial expressions showing his desperation for a way to break down their walls.

“This might be interesting…” Wooyoung smirked.

-

“I genuinely couldn’t care less.” You said, head cocked to the side in your hand, staring dead straight into the man’s eyes. However, the man had no intention of ever stopping his speech as he sat next to you at the bar.

“Come on, you really don’t know my father? He was in today’s paper?” He carried on as you zoned out of the conversation and occasionally cringed at the man’s stale breath, wondering how many more men were going to be responsible for the deepening wrinkles between your brows. As you took a sip from your drink, you locked eyes with a blonde-haired man across the room. His features were delicate yet sharp like the thorn of a rose, or a shard of glass, eyes twinkling with mischief. He raised his glass at you and smirked, amused by the situation that you were in.

“Listen here, bitch-” The man grabbed your wrist, forcing your attention back to him, “You’re gonna take the drinks I buy you, listen when I speak and sit pretty like a woman is supposed to.” He spat.

“Grrrr, scary.” You crudely imitated the growl in the man’s voice, still uninterested, “What a man your mother raised. I bet she’s proud, hmm?”

Anger radiating from the man’s body, he grabbed the glass out of your hand and threw it at the wall behind you, missing your face by inches.

“Oh, so now you’re going to scare me into sleeping with you? You need to brush up on some people skills.” You laughed, throwing you head back. You only composed yourself to grab the man’s collar, causing him to stumble off his stool. “You want to throw another glass at me? Try it.”

You hadn’t noticed the blonde-haired man stroll up to your table seeing that you were so caught up in the situation.

“Hi, I’m Hongjoong. How’s your night going? Anything I can help you with?” He asked, rubbing his hands together, surprisingly composed despite the mess. You let go of the man as the name triggered something in your head, remembering it being mentioned a few times behind closed-door meetings with your father.

“Are all the whores around here like this? I came here for some fun and this is how I’m treated? Fuck this place and every one of you here.” The man started at Hongjoong. You sat there, curling your fists ready to punch the man this time but Hongjoong noticed and interjected.

He placed his hands on the ledge of the table, leaning forward to obstruct the space between you and the man. As he did, you noticed the glimpse of a gun hanging from inside his fitted jacket, the slick shine of the metal winking at you in the light.

“I’d rather die than come to this shithole again.” The man carried on and you noticed the mischievous glint that was once in Hongjoong’s eyes finally fade to black.

“Oh, sure thing, I don’t think I want to see you here again anyway.” Hongjoong muttered and what happened in the next few seconds flew by so fast it barely registered in your brain.

The blonde-haired man reached into his jacket to pull the handgun out and shoot the man clean between the brows. At the same time, you pointed the small pistol you always kept concealed on your body at Hongjoong in reflex, having been taught to react to the sound of gunmetal in this way since you were a child.

Once you realised that the bullet wasn’t intended for you, you sensed seven pairs of eyes trained on you. Out of the corner of your vision, you saw that the boys once sat at Hongjoong’s table were all stood up, half of their guns out pointed to the man, and the other half at you, the next possible threat to their leader.

It was then that you realised that this man was the leader of Ateez, Seoul’s biggest underground organization responsible for the running of the city. It may have been politicians and businessmen in the spotlight, but behind the curtains, it was Ateez pulling at their puppet strings.

“Easy with that, angel.” Hongjoong turned to you smiling and raised a hand at the boys to lower their weapons. He continued chuckling, “I felt like you might have an attitude, but I didn’t expect this from you.”

As if it were a regular occurrence, two barmen came round to dispose of the body and your eyes followed, gun still pointing at the blonde man. Using the tip of his fingers, he gently lowered your gun to point at the floor.

“Oh, don’t worry about that,” he said, “I know some people that can sort that out.”

“Yeah those people are my paralegals paying off police in their missing persons hunts and forging their death certificates.”

Everything had fallen into place for you in that brief encounter. You knew that your father and his firm were involved in some dark business, but you never questioned it. Respecting your father’s wishes in telling you that keeping you in the dark was keeping you safe, you let it go.

However, it was only a few years ago that he had begun to tell you about his private dealings as consigliere to the organisation Ateez. That recently, his age-old friend had stepped down as mob boss and handed everything down to his son. Chuckling at how much he saw the image of his friend in the young blood, he mentioned that you would be in a similar position, that you too would be handed the law firm and become consigliere by tradition.

You had always expected to take up this mantle since you were young, as you figured that the men coming to your house for private meetings while you played in the garden did not treat you with unparalleled respect for no reason. You just didn’t realise that it would mean for you to be so heavily tied with the illicit world of the mafia then.

From then on, you trained close by your father’s side, learning the ins and outs of the world of jurisdiction, though you were never exposed directly to the ongoings with the mafia as your father had said, “the time will come when it needs to.”

“Then I guess today is the day.” You whispered to yourself smiling, you held your hand out to Hongjoong. “I’m Y/N L/N, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you, my father has always spoken very highly of you.”

Confused at first, a spark was ignited in Hongjoong as the shine returned to his eyes, and the amused smirk to his lips, your name triggering something in him. Realising that you were the daughter to one of the men he most respected in his life, he took your hand and brought it to his face to kiss gently, “And it’s a pleasure to meet you too, I’ve heard a great deal about you as well, but who knew my future right-hand man would be so hot.” He said as he flashed a sly smile.

The more he observed, the flames within Hongjoong only grew as he could sense the fire in you too. The most beautiful person he had ever set eyes on was to be his consigliere? Couldn’t be any more perfect. He wondered what more you could achieve together and pictured only pure wildfire.

“You better watch your mouth Mr. Kim, unless you want to start a war between the family before I even take up my position.”

“Of course, I have nothing but respect for you and your father. I was told that I wouldn’t be meeting you until he was to step down from his position, but I guess my lucky stars have aligned perfectly tonight.”

“Also, I’m more than capable of dealing with these things myself, there was no need for you to play knight in shining armour.”

“Sure, holed up in your guarded palace of a law firm, you’ve never had experience in the real world. Things are different here and what happened at this bar is just the cusp of it, princess.” He rebutted voice dripping honey, flirting his way through the conversation.

“But who is it advising your every action and saving your asses in the courtrooms, hmm?”

You and Hongjoong continued to jab at each other while the boys sat back in disbelief at the situation. Common people would have run the other way as soon as a gun was shot in their vicinity. So for you to have pulled one out in retaliation and furthering that, started arguing with their Captain, it was a sight to see.

“Bets on who’s going to win this one?” Yunho broke the silence.

“I’m betting tonight’s drinks on the lady.” Mingi said, throwing his black card onto the table.

“Me too, Hongjoong hyung looks too smitten for pride games right now.” Jongho agreed.

“Looks like we’ve got our first to tie the knot then.” San chuckled, nudging at Wooyoung who replied, “Hmmm, she doesn’t look like the typical housewife type though.” Analysing the unmatched confidence exuding from your body language.

Soon after, Hongjoong led you to the table of boys, pulling a chair out for you.

“Guys, this is Y/N L/N, future consigliere to Ateez, and not to mention, my future wife.” He smirked, eyes glowing.

“Carry on and I’ll be future Captain by regicide, Hongjoong,” you shot him a glare as you took your seat, “considering our fateful encounter, it looks like I’ll be seeing you more often with my father now, I hope we can get along.”

You poured yourself a glass of whisky and smiled while Hongjoong could already sense the eventful days ahead with none other than you by his side. -

Mafia AU Masterlist

[tobiosmilktea]

umpah umpah! smau

↪︎ bokuto x f!reader x iwaizumi

[008] — we meet again!

masterlist | prev. | next

a/n: i was listening to hozier while writing this which explains why both bokuto and iwaizumi is whipped for the mc ✨

asking if you were okay was a good question. really, it is—too bad you didn’t know the answer to that very question no matter how grossly interchangeable the words were tossed around and scrambled into nuances phrases. if anything, it made your mood turn even more sour as your two best friends tried their best to calm you down. keyword: tried

kaori was too busy dying of laughter as she would tease the glaring look on your face. “you’re going to pop a blood vessel, honey.” she snickered, holding her stomach as it ached under the constant tension.

meanwhile akaashi was still profusely apologizing beneath the latter’s amusement. a sigh left your lips for the umpteenth time in the span of five minutes as your arms braided over each other in frustration. “what the fuck are you trying to get at, keiji?”

a gasp practically escaped kaori as she slapped her hand over her mouth, “(y/n) used your first name, that’s how you now she’s pissed off.”

akaashi could only roll his eyes. it was to his best bet to ignore any of kaori’s quips as she’s known to escalate things just by the power of that witty brain of hers. “nothing!” the editor exclaimed as he turned back to you, “i just figured it wasn’t a big deal since you and bokuto both said you guys ended on good terms. besides, i warned you to check the list.”

“okay, but that doesn’t explain the fact that iwaizumi is here!” it was at this moment that you were glad the music was pumping loudly through the venue speakers to hide over your shouts.

“i told you they work for the same team, but i didn’t know they were friends until i saw who bokuto wanted to invite!”

you groan, “unbelievable.”

“i just don’t think you should let their presence ruin the rest of the night, (y/n).” akaashi mentions flatly.

“i agree,” kaori suddenly cuts in, “it’s your party, you could kick them out if you want.” she suggests with an impish tone and an expression laced in provocation.

“i’m not going to kick them out, kaori—” you’re interrupted then as she swiftly elbows you in the breast, “ouch! what was that for?”

 “sorry, i was aiming for your ribs not your titty.” she laughs briefly before motioning to a familiar figure making it’s way towards you three. perhaps it was his height that triggered a response in you to cause your heart to rapidly thump against your ribcage, but honestly, it was probably his spiked hair with white tips that was the perpetrator. “is that bokuto? oh fuck, he’s coming, act natural.”

great, you thought. you had to fight the urge to just walk away a leave, but you knew it wasn’t going to end well whatever you did. knowing your luck, you were going to stumble upon this man one way or another.

“akaashi, there you are!” bokuto calls out over the crowd, serpentining his way through groups of conversating individuals to reach his best friend. but in all honesty, akaashi knew what this guy was doing. bokuto didn’t listen to a word he said in his text messages as the volleyball player ended up coming over here either way just to talk to you.

you’re over (y/n) my ass, akaashi thinks to himself, feigning from rolling his eyes again because at this point, it was just a matter of time before everything came crashing down.

it almost felt like a target was on you, perhaps a red laser shining right in the middle of your forehead the moment bokuto flickered his attention to you. “(y/n)! it’s so nice seeing you again!”

you nod as an awkwardly smile melted on your expression, “it’s nice seeing you too, bokuto.” despite your meek demeanor, what you said certainly wasn’t a lie. you would be lying to yourself if you said that you didn’t miss bokuto and his warming aura. you suppose it was the sudden meeting that caused your fight or flight response to suddenly kick in.

bokuto’s eyebrows furrow slightly, “bokuto? what happened to calling me kou?”

as if the situation wasn’t already difficult being in, it was as if he flicked another match into the burning dumpster fire of a party. “well... we haven’t seen each other in years, so i thought it was appropriate.”

“ah...” his voice trailed on as a few beats of silence ensued.

“oh shit,” kaori suddenly curses under her breath as she nonchalantly spilled his drink all over her arm. “um, akaashi could you come and help me clean this off?” she asks in faux concern, not bothering to give the guy a chance to answer as she tugged him away.

you couldn’t help but feel a faint smirk forming on your lips as you watched the two disappear into the crowd. kaori was always good at acting herself out of awkward situations that you honestly had to applaud her. maybe later you would teasingly remind her to audition for the webtoon’s live action just to spite her. it was just a little mindless payback for leaving you alone with your ex-boyfriend.

your striking gazes met again as you turned your attention back towards bokuto. at first glance, he looked exactly the same as you last saw him—then again, the last time you did see bokuto was when you two decided to break up on the day before graduation, you couldn’t remember much of him as it was dark under the midnight sky as tears blurred your vision. even when things ended up mutual with no hard feelings, you still couldn’t help but feel a tug at your heart when you recalled the way bokuto looked at you then.

it was hard to sleep that night. 

it was a bizarre juxtaposition of comparing eighteen year old bokuto to him now. rather than appearing before you with messy hair and tears streaming down his face, he was beaming in some contagious lightheartedness. it was a feeling you never thought you would feel so nostalgic in as he still smelt like fresh chamomile. he was much bigger now, more buff as one would say and not to mention taller as well.

perhaps going professional really treated this man wonders as you had to admit how increasingly more attractive he has gotten.

“you look great, by the way.” bokuto says, pulling you out of your thoughts as you realize how long you have been staring.

“thanks...” god, this is awkward. this certainly wasn’t leaving a good impression on your part, “you don’t look too bad either.”

a red tint burned at the tips of bokuto’s ears as he scratched the nape of his neck like it was some kind of nervous tic. he usually doesn’t get nervous meeting people, new or old, yet there was something about the way you look at him even after all these years that would send his heart rate into the extremes. he hated how this all ended due to your differing aspirations. “congrats on having a successful webtoon. love cemetery is amazing and i’m obsessed if you couldn’t already tell.”

“i never really pinned you to be one of my biggest fanboys, you know.”

“i’ve always been your biggest fanboy,” bokuto assured with a smirk, “how about you, are you still my biggest fangirl?”

you playfully scoffed at his statement, “um...”

“um?” he pressed, finding the amusement in your eyes adorable.

“i dunno, i haven’t really kept up with volleyball after high school.” you chuckled, swirling the contents of your drink in your hand. “besides, i think you have enough fangirls drooling over you.”

“who needs all of them if i have you?”

you rolled your eyes as you took a sip from the alcohol in your hands. “you’re flirting again.”

“isn’t that the reason why you dated my in the first place?” bokuto jested, feeling the burning in his cheeks as he couldn’t stop smiling. this was progress to him knowing that this playful banter was enough to surely get you two to reconnect again.

you peered your eyes at him suspiciously, “you’re planning something, aren’t you?”

“you’re making it sound like i’m evil!”

“well, are you?”

“of course i’m not,” said bokuto, “i just wanted us to be friends again.”

“you’re kidding.”

he shook his head, “never in a million years.”

you weren’t sure if it was his words that made your chest feel warm or if it was the alcohol in your system. regardless, you refused to let bokuto affect you so easily in a span of a couple minutes even if you took your alcohol well.

“at least you weren’t kidding when you said you were going professional.” you hummed, leaning against one of the smaller round tables as you stared into the crowd. you were hoping bokuto would do the same, but he’d rather look at you than a congregation of random strangers.

“and you weren’t kidding either when you said you wanted to become an artist.”

“i mean, becoming a webtoon artist wasn’t exactly what i thought i was going to be, but i’m glad where i am now in life.” you answered as your eyes wandered the room.

“even without me in it?” god, what a flirt.

that infamous laugh of yours emitted from your cherry-colored lips. it was the type of laugh everyone found themselves attracted to and never annoyed, in fact, it was the laugh bokuto hadn’t even realized he missed so much until the moment it left you.

his mindless attempts at flirting was catching up to you now as you couldn’t fight the feeling of the heat rising to your cheeks. “well, you’re right in front of me aren’t you?”

“things are different know, though...”

“right but—” you tried to respond, but was inevitably interrupted by yuko.

she came up to you in a slight hurry, calling out your name before apologizing to bokuto. “sorry to cut your conversation so short, but i need (y/n) to come take care of something for me.”

confusion melted upon your expression as you turned to her, “we do?”

“we do,” she huffs.

“it’s alright,” bokuto says while motioning for you to follow suit of your manager. “let’s catch up more sometime, yeah?”

you smile at him, one that’s less mediocre and awkward and a bit more genuine. “of course,” was the last thing you could say before yuko yanked at your arm once again until you were in just another body in the crowd.

despite yuko’s hand firmly gripped around your wrist to ensure you wouldn’t get lost in the sea of people, it was difficult trying to focus at one thing at a time. at first it was the worry about your manager and her sudden interruption, but now it was trying your best not to spill your drink due to all the drunken bodies bumping into yours. were there really this many people on the invite list?

grumbling to your self, you threw your head back as you finished the last bits of drink in your hand while you were pulled through the crowd like a ragdoll. having to pay for a stranger’s dry cleaning due to a spilled drink was the last thing on your mind right now.

“what did you want me to help you with?” you shout over to your manager once she slowed down.

“nothing,” said yuko over her shoulder, “i was watching you and bokuto talk and you kept getting redder and redder i thought you were going to pass out.”

embarrassment flushed through, cheeks heating up again at the thought. “ugh, was it that obvious?” you groaned as your head fell from the utter humiliation that was coursing through your body at that moment—far too distracted that your humiliation could only worsen the moment you bumped into another.

“sorry, i wasn’t looking—” the apologetic tone in your voice subsided as your eyes flickered up to whoever’s chest it was up to a yet another familiar face.

“(y/n)?” he says.

“iwaizumi?” you say.

your names were jumbled up in unison just as much as your thoughts immediately dissipated into thin air. just my luck, huh? you swore you were dreaming. nothing in the absolute world could possibly make such a ironic turn of events as if you were in some melodrama yourself. call it fate or destiny, but bumping into both of your exes within a span of ten minutes was something you never would’ve wished upon yourself.

“it’s um... fancy meeting you here.” you start the second you flicker a look over to yuko as she could only give you a pitiful smile. “it’s been a while, right?”

regardless of the confident aura you were extruding right now, you were completely freaking out for the third time this evening. you knew today was going to affect you emotionally, but you wasn’t expecting it to be like this. you were expecting to get a bit emotional due to the fact your webtoon that you poured your absolute heart and soul into has come to an end and not because two attractive dudes from your past just coincidentally came back into your life.

and yet it didn’t matter, it wasn’t like iwaizumi could see through that little façade of false confidence in your expression as it felt like he was meeting you for the first time all over again. it fit all down to a tee from the way his adam’s apple bobbed up and down in his throat to his breath hitching from the sight or to the infamous monarch butterflies tickling his gut.

“it’s nice to see you too, (y/n)...” his words trailed as you couldn’t help but notice how deeper his voice had gotten since the last time you’ve seen him. granted, he was fifteen back then and had a lot of time to grow up and become this absolute adonis.

iwaizumi certainly wasn’t planning on coming across you this evening either. if anything, you two both shared that internal panic when your eyes briefly met at the start of the party. however, he couldn’t help but feel a bit relieved knowing that in the end you two did manage to cross ways. he supposes that after seeing you and bokuto talk as if you two have known each other for years created an inkling feeling in his gut.

he hates the way you distracted him the majority of the night. it wasn’t like you two were on talking terms especially after years of not seeing each other, yet it felt strange for him to even let himself feel this way.

besides, iwaizumi felt absolutely terrible knowing satomi was trying her hardest to capture his lingering attention by making conversation about anything—literally anything.

anyone who had been friends with iwaizumi in the past know he’s an absolute sweetheart, but at the same time, he’s honest. he’s not the type to hesitate in telling someone the cold hard truth even if it meant hurting their feelings, yet whenever he would look at satomi, he couldn’t bring himself to say that he wasn’t interested in the conversation.

you cleared your throat, pulling iwaizumi back from his thoughts, “so... i heard that you became the new athletic trainer for the black jackals.” the man before you nods as he was stilling taking you all in. was he staring at you for that long? “i thought were living in california, why the sudden change of plans?”

iwaizumi shrugs as he took a sip of his beer, “i ended up getting a better job offer here, so i decided to move back. why? have you missed me?”

the moment those words left his lips, he immediately wanted to slap his hand over his mouth and cringe. why was he suddenly so flirtatious with you? was it because he saw you and bokuto flirting earlier, was that it?

you chuckled in amusement as you nod. you honestly weren’t going to lie that his words did catch you off guard for a second. something like this was definitely not in iwaizumi’s handbook his (more or less) complicated personality, yet you decided to play along anyway. “of course i have, iwa! i’m not soulless, you know.”

iwa? the man before thought to himself, what happened to haji? he shook the thought out of his as he opened his mouth in attempt to speak, but he noticed your attention leaving his and onto the person beside him.

satomi cleared her throat as she looks at him innocently, waiting for iwaizumi to introduce her to you.

“oh uh,” he motions his head to the team’s physical therapist next to him, “this is yahagi satomi, she’s my—”

“—date for this evening,” she cuts iwaizumi off and answers for him, catching him a bit off guard and confused, yet he doesn’t correct her. granted, satomi was his plus one so it made sense.

you purse your lips as you took in her features. she was a bit on the shorter side with her long copper hair pulled back into a sleek high ponytail as her bangs were styled perfectly to fit her face. semi was right, she is pretty. it was then you stuck your hand out for her to shake, feeling who cold her palm was compared to yours. “it’s nice to meet you. how long have you two been together?” you ask out of the blue.

i mean, what’s wrong with a little curiosity?

“oh no, we’re not together.” iwaizumi is quick to answer, not even noticing satomi’s slight change in expression when she parted her lips to answer herself. “she’s just my plus one because bokuto told us to.”

you nod at his words, trying your best to ignore the intravenous relief that was coursing through you at that moment. you realized how long you had been standing there then, failing to notice that yuko was still by your side the entire time. if anything, she was just trying to help you out once again as she could literally feel the rising tension in the air. if you were to talk to satomi any longer, it would surely go wrong knowing your luck. luckily, she spots sugawara’s silvery hair just a few feet away.

yuko wasn’t entirely sure how in the hell she was going to get his attention to save your asses, but it was going to happen one way or another. she was just glad you were too preoccupied talking to iwaizumi and satomi that yuko was able to text sugawara to come over.

she watched sugawara feel the buzzing of his phone in his pocket, observing his every move as he pulls it out and read the text as the screen light shined over his face. he looked up then, eyes scanning the room briefly before landing upon yuko’s familiar figure standing next to yours.

the manager widens to eyes a bit at him like a warning to come over here.

she wasn’t sure what was so hard to understand from the pure helplessness in her expression, but sugawara was taking his sweet ass time.

yuko grumbled to herself. at this point, perhaps she was just trying to save herself.

it was then sugawara was finally making his way over to you and yuko. “oh hey, iwaizumi! long time no see, sorry to interrupt but i need to borrow (y/n) and yuko for a second.”

you gave sugawara a confused look as it washed over your expression. again? ugh, give me a break. however, before you could excuse yourself from the conversation, iwaizumi grabs your upper arm lightly.

“(y/n),” he stops you in place, “we should catch up sometime.”

you open your mouth to respond, but sugawara interjects before you could. “why not catch up now?” he suggests, causing all four of you to snap your head towards him, “i’m sure i’ll just yuko’s help will be enough, plus (y/n) has tons of time to talk to more guests.”

the silver haired man gives you a sly wink before taking yuko with him and leaving you behind. great.

you honestly couldn’t excuse yourself now as it would be obvious why no matter how many excuses you come up with, so you had to power through. besides, what could go wrong with talking with your first love and some random girl that somehow gives you a weird vibe?

“so how do you guys know each other?” satomi questions you, suddenly interested in your relationship with iwaizumi. it sounds suspicious, yet she was genuinely wondering if she was attempting to make moves on someone like iwaizumi was a good idea.

“we went to middle and a little bit of high school together,” you answer as a matter-of-fact. there was surely no need to lie.

her eyebrows rise in curiosity, “that makes sense... you guys must have been really close, huh.”

you flickered a look to iwaizumi, examining his reaction if he was also noticing her off words. “yeah... really close.” his expression melted into confusion then as you placed your gaze back to satomi.

iwaizumi scratched the back of his neck as the words remained at the tip of his tongue. why weren’t you mentioning that you two dated before? it wasn’t like it was a crime nor secret. he hated to think this, but could it be because you regretted your relationship with him?

he shook the thought out of his head quickly. the obvious answer was no as the breakup was mutual, yet after all these years of drifting apart, was that really the truth?

if he recalled correctly, one of the last words you said to him before you inevitably left for tokyo and never looked back was that you love him and would always be there for him no matter what. you even promised to text him as much as possible, yet after months had passed since you moved to your new life, it was as if the promise was nonexistent. however, iwaizumi couldn’t bring himself to blame you. if anything, he had himself to blame considering how many times he had written that same text over and over again, yet never had the courage to send it.

“(y/n) had to move to tokyo after our first year so we kind of drifted.” iwaizumi answers. even now with the chance open for him to mention your previous relationship was out in the open, he was still do cowardly to say it.

perhaps somethings never change.

fun facts! —

iwaizumi wasn’t really keen on using social media back in high school, which explains why he never really found out about (y/n) and bokuto’s relationship

it wasn’t like (y/n) and bokuto liked posting about their relationship either at the time

satomi and bokuto have always been homies after they have gotten closer when bokuto injuredhis knee and had to go to physical therapy, but he never really talked about his past relationships, hence satomi not knowing about (y/n)

taglist: (comment or send an ask to be added!)

@moonlightaangel @elianetsantana @k4tiepie @memorableminds @skyguy-peach @suhkusa @kitsunetea @airybby @noeminemi @truly-a-snitch @keichan @cosmicmermaid25 @bap-kingdom @saturnfarie @kwdflash @ennos-baby @dinablossom @chrisrue15 @seikamuzu @nestlevanilla @chasekudo @yammmers @pixcldust @iwaizluv @h0ngh0ngh0ng @emogril @tiredandkindaoverworked @atsunakaashi @underratedmage @bokutosuwus @kellesvt @kaiju-teeth @oh-tapeworm @scrappydaisies @alittlebitofrain @mxngy @tpwkatsumu @atsumuwoah @macchiatoast @dicerawr @kageyamasbabygorl @some-random-stranger-007 @vhskenma @wntrmn @little-plants @stargirlara @kissungjae @je11yfishwriter @sbaepsae

[imaginedxlan]

Pike (George Weasley)

a/n: i have an addiction. i’m sorry. take this platform away from me. anyway ENEMIES TO LOVER BITCHES.

You’ve always hated George Weasley. You can’t quite explain why, but the two of you have had bad blood since the moment you met freshman year. it’s nothing either of you said or did, just the general presence of the other always set something off in the two of you. however, you weren’t going to give up partying at his frat just because you hated the red haired boy.

warnings: alcohol & cussing, unconsensual touching but it isn’t graphic(not by george obv), mentions of sex and assault/sexual violence, violence and fratboy!georgie

i’m very serious when i say do not read this if you’re easily triggered or impacted by the theme of sexual assault. there is nothing graphic in this fic but i know it is very easy to be triggered by even the smallest mention. if you ever and i mean EVER need someone to talk to about anything pertaining to the topic, my messages are always open. dealing with sexual assault in any form is one of the most traumatising things a person can go through. please never hesistate to reach out if you’re struggling. i love you guys so much, i never want to go suffer in silence.

if you or someone you know if struggling with a rape or sexual assault, you can call 800.656.HOPE (4673) to be connected to a sexual assault service provider in your area. all my hugs and kisses to you all, i love you with all my heart❤️

saturday nights on campus are nothing short of lively for you and your friends. whether you’re testing your fake ids at every bar on the main street or dancing in a sweaty frat basement, there’s never been a dull weekend.

pike has always been your favorite fraternity to attend . you’d become close with some of the pledges on your floor your freshman year and have become obsessed with shutting down every function they hold at the house. there is one part of pi kappa alpha, however, that you could do without. george weasley.

the six three, red haired monster has been getting under your skin for an entire year now. since you met in your first semester of freshman year, you and george had never been on good terms. between the constant teasing from him or your drunk screaming matches that you’ve initiated almost every weekend, it’s safe to say that you two need to be kept as far away from each other as possible.

your friends have never understood the feud. they’ve always described george as one of the nicest guys they’ve ever met. he takes their coats at the door of every pike party to hide in his room to keep them safe from the drunk kleptomaniacs or vomit that inevitably spews from the mouth of a freshman girl. he’s always kept an eye out for your friends, but when it comes to you he swears if murder was legal you’d be six feet under by now.

as you and your friends got ready in your shared apartment for the night ahead of you, the annual pike’s peak ski themed party, you loathe the fact that you’ll be forced to see him again. you wish more than anything that he wasn’t so close with your friends, but alas, he is.

“y/n, can you please promise me something?” Angelina pleads, making you pause your makeup routine to look at her as if to say ‘go on.’ “no fighting with george tonight, we all need one night when the two of you aren’t at each other’s throats.”

if only it were that easy. there have been times in the past when angie and katie have convinced you to play nice with the boy, but he always ends up starting some type of fight with you.

“angie i’ve told you, i have no problem ignoring him for the good of the group,” you reiterate the countless times you’ve tried to prove to the girls that you’re the bigger person. “it’s him you should be talking to, he always starts it.”

katie sighs, already imagining the screaming match that will ensue tonight. “well if he starts something just walk away, easy as that.”

you mull it over for a minute. as much as ignoring him will make it seem like you’ve run out of insults, your vocal chords could use the rest this weekend. you agree to try and keep your mouth shut around george.

the three of you zip up your obnoxiously bright ski jackets over the black sports bras and jeans you’re wearing. you loved pikes peak, you could put in virtually no effort and still look like you spent hours getting ready.

the pike house is already buzzing with the bass of whatever mix oliver wood put together for the party. it’s not a pike party without ollie behind the dj booth. the high that you’re on as you walk past the pledges fades as your faced with george weasley.

just ignore him.

“look at my most beautiful groupies,” he says with a smile, scanning over angie and katie. “and...whatever that is.”

you can already feel your cheeks heat up with rage and your fists tighten. you take a deep breath and repeat katie’s words just an hour ago, ‘walk away.’ you roll your eyes at the boy and move your way through the party, eventually taking your spot next to ollie behind the dj stand.

“well hey there miss y/n,” ollie greets you, resting his headphone around his neck and pulling you into a hug. “half expected you to be beating weasley to a pulp by now.”

you laugh at his honesty, everyone expects some huge blow up between you and george within the first few minutes of a party. “trying something new, ignoring him for the night. can’t tire myself too much.”

ollie just smiles and goes back to the music. you’re adding songs to the queue and laughing along with him. you almost forgot how much you missed spending time with him, most of your interactions with the boy group ending with a fight with weasley without even being able to talk with the other boys.

across the room, george is watching you actually enjoy yourself and is fuming. he’s so used to being able to get under your skin, so you blowing him off was a major knock to his ego. he thrives on your reactions to his teasing, feeling like he doesn’t even have a purpose at this party now that you’re ignoring him.

you eventually leave oliver behind the booth and find angelina and katie, luckily they’re now where near george, rather dancing with his twin. you’ve always liked fred, but your constant arguing with his brother makes it hard for you to have any sort of friendship with him. this is the first pike party you’ve been to all year that you’re genuinely enjoying yourself. dancing with your friends, drinking without a care. the night is actually starting to look up.

you tell angie and katie that you’re off to the bathroom, the beers and seltzers finally catching up to your bladder. as you make your way through the crowd of people, you finally make it to the bathroom which is in the furthest corner of the house. before you can reach for the handle, someone is grabbing at your wrist.

“let’s go to my room.” the boy slurs, you turn to see a tall boy, far taller than you. you recognise his face but don’t know his name.

“no than-“

“i wasn’t asking,” he cuts you off and grabs your hip with his other hand. “come on i know you want to.”

“no just get off of me!” you yell trying to push his hands away from you but his death grin on your body doesn’t seem to be loosening. using your free hand you start beating the boys chest and that seems to just make him angrier. “you’re hurting me! just get off, i’m not coming to your room!”

even though you feel like your screaming the loud music seems to drown out the noise from anyone who could come and help you. even though the boy is obviously stronger than you, that doesn’t stop you from continuing to hit him in the hopes that his drunken state will take him off of you. your efforts are to no avail as his mouth connects with your neck, sucking harshly, making you scream out again. your head is thrashing, continuing to attempt to free yourself from his grasp.

“no! stop get off of me, please!” you shriek, tears beginning to stream down your cheeks. before you can realize what’s going on the boy is ripped from you and pinned up against the wall. you don’t even look to see what’s happening, just trying the catch your breath.

“she said no!” you immediately recognize the voice. george weasley. he fist connects with the boys jaw, almost knocking him unconscious as he’s still pushed against the wall. “what the fuck is wrong with you pucey! don’t you ever fucking touch her again!”

george still screaming as the boy you know realize is adrian pucey, is wailing in pain as george’s fists continue to meet his body. you don’t want to watch this anymore so you grab george’s hand before he can hit adrian again.

“stop, please.” it’s softer than you wanted it to come out but george still hears you. he drops adrian to the ground and takes a hold of your shoulders. even in the dark he’s examining your face for any sign of adrian’s abuse, his eyes land on the growing bruise on your neck and his fingers lightly trace over the mark. his other hands goes to your face, using his thumb to wipe the stream of tears.

“are you okay?” he asks quietly, eyes still trained on the hickey adrian unconsensually left on your neck. “i would’ve killed him.”

“why are you doing this, weasley?” you step back from him, crossing yours arms over your chest. “go on and tell everyone how you had to pull pucey off of me. how i was crying like a little baby. how helpless i was, i know that why you’re here.”

a flash a hurt crosses his face, he shakes his head. “is that really what you think of me?”

“of course it is, you’ve never given me a reason to think anything else,” you reply, wiping the remaining tears from your cheeks. “just leave weasley, i can’t take whatever’s going to come out of your mouth, not tonight okay? i could’ve handled this myself.”

“yeah you were doing a great job of handling it before i came it,” he scoffs and goes to walk away, kicking pucey one last time for good measure, but stops himself. “would you just stop arguing and follow me?”

you go to protest but figure you’re not in any mood to argue with him. he reaches his hand out to guide you through the sea of people but your arms stay folded against your chest. he rolls his eyes and leads you up the stairs and into a bedroom. you’d never been in his bedroom before. he goes into his closet to pull out a sweatshirt and tosses it your way.

“i’m not wearing this,” you tell him, throwing it back at him and he groans at your stubborn attitude. “why am i in your room, weasley?”

“does the word thank you not exist in your vocabulary?” he asks with a bitter tone. “i don’t care if you wear it, i’m leaving.”

he slams the door behind him and leaves you by yourself again. you look in the mirror on his wall at the disheveled sight looking back at you. your mascara collected under your eyes from your tears, the dark hickey from pucey on your cheek, bruises forming on your wrist and hip. you thought you had cried all the tears out before but seeing the damage he had done pulls sobs from your lips. you’re shaking at the memory of what happened, the thought of what could have happened. you collapse on george’s floor.

almost immediately the door swings open. you’re hoping maybe george told angie or katie and they were coming to take you home but it’s just george standing there. he never left his door, seeing pucey attack you like that made him fear that it might happen to you again. he quickly shuts the door behind him and crouches next to you as you struggle to catch your breath.

“hey, hey what’s going on you were fine a few second ago,” he tries to read your face but it’s hidden in your hands. “look at me, y/n, please.”

you lift your face to look him in the eyes. your puffy eyes and red cheeks make his heart sink. this is the first time he’s looked at you and felt something other than utter annoyance. you look so sad.

“i-i’m so s-scared,” you stutter through your speech. “if you hadn’t come he could’ve, it would have turned into -”

“don’t talk like that,” he begs you, still staying a bit of a distance from you. “i was there, i stopped it. you’re safe now.”

once you calm down he pleads for you to lay down and get some rest. you finally take the sweatshirt from him and wrap it around your body. he leans down to crouch in front of you, your eyes still welled with tears. he pats your head and goes to leave. in reality he would be posted outside the door for the rest of the night, but he’d never tell you that. As he shuts off the lights and opens the door, you squeak out a plea, “can you stay? please.”

george hesitates, he knows showing any kind of compassion for you in this moment will inevitably put a rift in your strict enemies only relationship. the one he’s been so set on keeping since he started developing feelings for you last semester. the only way he could keep you close while also concealing his feelings was to pick those fights with you every weekend. this would change everything.

however, seeing you curled up in his bed, shaking under his blankets, your eyes wide with fear broke something in him. he let out a deep sigh before closing his door again and locking it behind him. he stands in place for a minute, unsure of what to do from here.

“george,” you call out, voice cracking. you hadn’t called him by his first name in months. “thank you.”

“you haven’t called me george in a while.”

“shut up, weasley,” you immediately reply, making george chuckle. he decides to sit on the edge of his bad facing you, watching you continue to shake as sporadic sobs come from your frail frame. it’s breaking his heart. He eventually comes up to lay beside you, careful not to touch you. partly due to the fact that he knows you’re probably traumatised by pucey’s attack on you and also partly due to him knowing he may not be able to control himself from taking you in arms until you stop your terrible shaking.

it wasn’t george that first moved closer, it was you. you weren’t sure if it was the fact that he just saved you from a potentially life shattering situation or the fact that his room felt like subzero but you wanted to be close to him.

“why is your room so cold?” you ask with a shiver. “i feel like i’m in the arctic.”

“don’t be such a baby it’s not that cold,” he scoffs, giving you the same tone he always has. something in you is disappointed, partly hoping that maybe this changed something. maybe you were overthinking him being so doting on you tonight. of course things wouldn’t be different. why would you want them to be? what he did tonight he would do for any girl in thai party. while you don’t get to see that side of him, angie and katie have always talked about how protective he is, you just never thought it would extend to you.

“why’d you help me?” you ask, staring at him dead in the eyes. his breath hitches, he’s not sure why. he would do it for anyone, no questions asked. he’s never been the guy to look the other way when a girl is hurting, but what was he doing all of this for you. surely he wouldn’t bring just anyone up to his room, he wouldn’t stay if they asked.

“i wasn’t going to let pucey hurt you like that, i wouldn’t let him do it to anyone,” he replies, hoping you’ll be off the topic from now on.

“you would’ve killed him if i hadn’t stopped you.” george thinks back to the moment. how angelina had pleaded for him to find you after you’d been gone for so long. how he heard your cries over the music, you screaming no. how pucey had himself attached to you and the rage bubbled over in him.

“would you come off of it?” he asked sternly, fearing if this conversation moved any further he would be confessing that he’s never actually hated you. “i forgot how annoying you were for a second there, i’m getting out of here.”

your heart sinks at his words. you were already in shambles and he decided to be his same old asshole self. it hurt. you immediately sat up and watched as he grasped the door handle but didn’t turn it.

“classic, something gets hard and you’re running away,” you spit at him. you needed someone there, you needed him there, and he was running off. “go on weasley, be the little bitch you are, run off and tell everyone how big bad george weasley beat up pucey just to leave me up in your room where he could for sure do it again.”

“you just love running that fucking mouth of yours don’t you?” george snaps, his face beginning to heat up. this is always how it starts. his tone is playfully arrogant until it switches completely. “you think i would just leave you in here where anyone could come in? are you really that stupid? i would’ve staid outside the fucking door all night if that’s what it took for you to sleep after ehat happened, i just can’t be in this fucking room with you.”

you roll your eyes at how dramatic he is. as if staying in a room with you for one night would kill him. in his mind, however, it might. seeing you curled up in his bed, in his clothes, begging for him to stay, it’s all too much for him to handle.

“yeah sure you would. you wouldn’t go chasing after your brother the second he called that some girl was asking for you. this is all for show, you’re trying to make me seem like the one you can’t coexist with you,” you shout. “then everyone can blame me for this stupid fucking fight we’ve been having for an entire year. you can be the innocent one, that’s it isn’t it?”

george can’t believe how blind you are. how you’ve failed to notice that every time you get up in his face to yell at him he loses his breath. that you can’t see that teasing you is his only way to keep you coming back to pike. that he almost killed pucey because he likes you. he so painfully likes you.

“you’re an idiot you know that?” he yells, taking his hand off the doorknob. “seriously how dumb can you be? you really think i’m doing all of this for my image?”

“then answer my fucking question, weasley,” you spit at him, becoming angrier every minute that he won’t admit his own obsession with how everyone perceives him. “why. are. you. helping. me.”

every word comes out dripping with the venom of your rage. getting george to admit he’s a self centered, self serving asshole will give you all the evidence you need to show katie and angie that this feud is his fault, not yours. he begins to pace around the room, hands going to his hair as he looks deep in thought. your eyes never leave him, watching as he slowly unwinds in front of you. it’s happening, he’s going to admit it.

“you want to know why? you really want to know why i’m doing all this? why i dedicate my fucking saturday nights to fighting with you? that’s what you really want?”

“that’s what i asked isn’t it?”

“because i fucking like you, okay?” he shouts, making your heart stop. your jaw is practically on the floor, this is not the confession you were expecting. his face softens along with his tone, “i like you.”

he’s quiet, almost inaudible over the muffled bass of the music coming from downstairs. you face hasn’t changed, your brain is empty. your completely unable to move. you begin to shake your head after a minute, repeating the words ‘no’ and ‘you’re lying.’

“fuck this,” george finally speaks up, going back to reach for the door. “have a nice life, y/n, don’t bother coming back here after tonight.”

“george stop!” you yell which makes him stop in his tracks. his first name again. it makes his heart ache. he can’t get involved, he can’t fall into your trap. he continues to make his way to get as far from you as he possibly can. “george i mean it! stop running away from me.”

you’re now off the bed, following close behind him. you’re swimming in his sweatshirt, the material falling just below your knees. you don’t know why you suddenly have the urge to touch him, to be with him but it’s there. him threatening you to never come back made your chest tighten, not because you’ll be missing parties, but you’ll be missing him. memories of your screaming matches flood your brain, the absolute high you’re on as you’re staring up at him after shouting something offensive his way. the way you can never seem to catch your breath when he’s around you. the fact that you continue coming back, knowing he’s going to hurt your feelings in some way or another, because it means you’ll be with him. as toxic and backwards as it seems, you’ve never hated george. you were utterly obsessed with him. when you finally reach him, grabbing his hand to stop him fleeing, his whole body snaps to turn toward you. he looks wild.

“what could you possibly have to say to me?” he shouts, making you step back. his words are fueled by anger and hatred. when he sees you back away from him, he immediately regrets his tone. “come to gloat? to make fun of me? save it, y/n. i don’t want to hear it.”

you don’t say a word. on the crowded staircase of your drunk classmates you do the last thing you could have ever imagined doing with george weasley. you kiss him.

he’s completely taken aback, freezing in his place as soon as he feels your soft lips against his. one hand is wrapped around the back of his neck and the other is holding his cheek. eventually, reality hits the boy and he’s pulling you into him by your hips. you wince in pain from the tender bruise aching on your hip from pucey’s hands and george immediately pulls away to see if you’re alright.

“god, i’m sorry, i’m so sorry. i didn’t realize he hurt you so bad,” he starts to ramble on, keeping his hands off of you to keep from hurting you. “y/n, i’m — i just — i don’t know what to say.”

your hand is still on his face, your thumb stroking over his cheek bone. you can’t believe you had just kissed the boy you had sworn to hate for the rest of your life. pulling your hands away from your body you take a hold of his that are hovering inches away from your hips. you move they to lay against your waist and move yours to return to his face. you lean yourself back up toward him again, capturing his lips for the second time tonight. he didn’t hesitate this time, pulling you closer to him.

as soon as you pull away from each other, you’re soon walking back to his room hand in hand. he closes the door and flicks on the lights. being with him now feels astronomically different. the tension that once plagued any room you two shared has melted away.

“i didn’t want to pressure you into doing that,” he says softly, his palm resting on your cheek as the two of you sit only inches from each other on his bed. “especially after what pucey did to you, i’m sorry. i shouldn’t have been so harsh.”

you stop him from spiraling any further into a pit of blame. “i feel safe with you georgie, i wouldn’t have stayed in here with you, kissed you, if i didn’t. you know i’d be the last to admit this, but you saved me, i owe you one.”

a small smile tugs on his lips. he can’t help but feel his heart hammering against his ribs like it’s going a thousand miles and hour. “consider the debt repaid,” he replies, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. “i don’t think i would’ve ever been able to face you after tonight if you hadn’t come running after me.”

your smile mirrors his, unable to contain the butterflies in the pit of your stomach. the two of you just stare at each other for a while, trying to imprint this moment in your memory forever.

“can i kiss you again?” he asks, his lips so close that you can feel his breath against yours. you nod against his forehead, silently begging to feel his warmth again.

kissing george is like nothing you’d ever felt before. you spent your entire life kissing boys that meant nothing to you, this feels like home. his tongue slips into your mouth, exploring every inch of you, memorising how you feel as if you’ll be stolen from him at any second. he’s thought of this exact moment for months, every time you fought, every time he spoke to you, he imagined what it would feel like to have you like this.

“still feels like a tundra in here,” you tell him after you pull away. he takes you by your good wrist and urges you to lay next to him, his arms wrapping tightly around your body wishing he would never have to let go.

“better?”

“better.” you reply, letting you hand rest against his chest, feeling his heart beat. “this is not how i imagined this night going.”

“neither,” he says, running his fingers up and down your side. “never thought i’d get to hold you like this.”

your cheeks heat up, not from your usual rage but from the sudden rush on nerves. you don’t know how to act around him when you’re not about to beat his face in. he gently pulls your face from where it’s hiding in his chest to admire you. he presses his lips softly against yours, then moves to either cheek, then to your forehead.

“what happens now?” you ask, suddenly hit with the realization that you can’t go on with the feud that’s been bubbling between the two of you for the past year. you’ll have to tell your friends that you don’t hate each other anymore, that you did the unthinkable and kissed george weasley.

“i don’t care,” he says simply. “we could continue fighting until my dying breath, i just don’t want to be without you. ever.”

“what a little sap-fest you’ve become,” you tease holding yourself up on your elbows to get a good look at the boy. “who knew the george weasley could be so sentimental.”

“oh shut up,” he nudges your shoulder, pulling his arms from around you to rest behind his head. “you’re the one who kissed me, y/n, you started this.”

you let out a giggle, resting your head against his chest. you talk for hours about everything and nothing at all. eventually you hear the music die from downstairs, your phone buzzing with texts from angie and katie worried sick about where you ran off to. you tell them you’re fine and you’ll explain tomorrow. it’s an unspoken assumption that after all these months of fighting, you’ll be sleeping in george’s bed, cuddled up to him like you have been for the last few hours. you turn from your phone to see him stripping his shirt from his body, going to pull his khakis from his body and your heart stops.

“george i-” you start, not being able to form a coherent sentence. “i’m sorry but i can’t do anything like that, not tonight, not after what happened.”

his face turns down in worry, swiftly pulling a pair of sweats from his drawer to cover his bare legs. “oh my god, no y/n that’s not where i thought this was going at all. i usually sleep without a shirt on but it that makes you uncomfortable i can put one on. i’m so sorry i wasn’t even thinking.”

you sigh in relief, of course he wasn’t going to ask you to do anything like that after what he saw. you can’t believe you assumed that of him.

“no, no i’m sorry i know you would never,” you reply, rubbing your face between your palms. “i’m just on edge.”

he sits next to you, already holding a pair of boxers for you to wear and places them in front of you. he runs his hands up your arms. “don’t apologize to me, you’re allowed to be on edge after that. i should’ve been more conscious of that. i can go to the bathroom while you change if you want, unless you want to stay in your jeans.”

you shake your head, pulling the denim off your legs and replacing them with george’s boxers. you’re safe with him, you remind yourself.

“thank you, george,” you say quietly. “for everything.”

“i’d do it again, a hundred times over if i had to,” he tells you, pulling you into his arms to hold you. “do you want to talk about it?”

you shake your head no and he nods. he lays the two of you back and pulls his blankets other you. your head lays against his bare chest, feeling the most secure you have in your life. george’s breath eventually steadies as he slips into a deep sleep. it’s the easiest he’s ever been able to fall asleep, feeling completely comfortable with you in his arms. you fall asleep soon after him, the arms of george weasley and the walls of pi kappa alpha lulling you into the sweetest dreams.

[indiigne]

daniel sharman, cis man, he/him, 35 // jean-baptiste valois, the dauphin of france has just arrived in florence. they’re said to be excited about being in florence. when asked they’re likely to say they’re brave, but the staff says they’re more along the lines of haughty. laughter strained by the burden of kingship, the fleeting touch of a one night lover, and empty, tipped over goblets of wine. ( maric. he/him. 21+. )

basics

full name: jean-baptiste tristan étienne valois

nicknames: jean, baptiste

age: 35

nationality: french

gender: cis man

pronouns: he/him

orientation: bisexual

occupation: dauphin of france

physical

eye colour: blue

hair colour: dark brown

height: 6'2

headcanons

jean has perpetual party kid syndrome. he's often seen traipsing about, partying, or speaking to people he'd rather be in bed with. he's not very serious on the surface, but he wants to be eventually.

he feels very nervous around his father, mostly because he wants to impress him, but he knows he won't with his current attitude. he knows he's too old for a party boy lifestyle, but he fears being genuinely serious.

he's also never been in love, a point he’s terribly sad about. he's always wanted to be in love, but he's never had the opportunity. he's slept around and been a bit rambunctious, but he's never genuinely felt a connection to those people.

biography-ish

he’s definitely always been a mama’s boy. as the eldest, he was doted on by his mother and very much confides in her often. it’s not that he’s scared of his father, but he doesn’t want to disappoint him. with his party boy attitude, he’s often disappointing his father anyway, but he likes enjoying himself. drinking and partying gets him out of his head. 

he’s excited about florence because he knows he’ll be able to see his other noble friends and get silly and let loose with them.

he’s always been a nervous traveler, though; he fell from his horse as a boy. he’s never let himself live it down. so traveling is hard for him, even though he pushes his fear away and rides nonetheless. 

( trigger warning: illness ) he’s been betrothed once, but she tragically died of consumption before they could even meet. he was upset that she passed, but he didn’t want to marry her since they were betrothed so young, and he feared he wouldn’t fall in love with her. even still, he’s a bit nervous to find someone to be the queen of france alongside him when his father passes.

he loves his family more than anything, though, and he would eagerly lay down his life for all of them. behind that silly exterior, he’s quite serious about the welfare of his siblings and his family.

if you have any questions about him, hmu on discord (which changes frequently so hop on this quick at “raw derrick#5663″ without the quotes!

[blossom-hwa]

volleyball players!golcha + a supernatural twist

so casey (@thepixelelf) came up with this brilliant idea (original blurbs here - read them they’re so fun + will help you understand what’s going on in this post) but essentially this is golcha as a volleyball team EXCEPT they all have superpowers

and no this isn’t some saving the world type shit everyone at the school just happens to have some superpower so they’re just trying to navigate the hell that is high school while dealing with powers so CHAOS

anyway please enjoy these brief blurbs and reblog if you did, and again do not forget to check out the original post here because why not it’s FUN

pairing: golden child x gender neutral!reader

wc: 11.7k (total)

genre: fluff, a bit of angst in some parts, volleyball!au, superpowers!au

triggers: cursing

Volleyball!au Masterlist (casey + lina) | Golden Child Masterlist

daeyeol - golden tongue

daeyeol has a golden tongue which basically means he can be very, very persuasive with his spoken words when he wants to

like casey said it comes in handy when he’s arguing with the basketball team for gym time but in 99% of other situations daeyeol tends to... be very awkward and stilted in a way that isn’t characteristic of those with a golden tongue

the boys sometimes tease him about it because a tongue-tied golden tongue? that’s not supposed to exist

but he’s just afraid of accidentally manipulating people even though he really does have a pretty good grasp on his power :/ like sungyoon will try to remind him that but daeyeol’s still wary

on the court though he literally just exudes confidence. like daeyeol is GOOD at volleyball and he knows it

even if his teammates clown him they listen to him when he’s running drills/coaching because daeyeol knows his shit. he’s been playing volleyball for years at this point AND has an older brother who played as well he knows what he’s doing

he’s been playing the longest of all of golcha and it shows in games! he’s one of the best players if not the best

really the other boys do look up to him even if they show it in a roundabout way

(daeyeol complains about the lack of respect all the time but tbh he doesn’t really help his case when he’s soft for every single one of the boys)

side note: he has a bit of a special bond with bomin :) as in bomin clowns the everloving fuck out of him but he also always goes to daeyeol if he’s not feeling good and daeyeol is always there to listen it’s super sweet

(more on that in bomin’s part :D)

does interviews with the school newspaper after games and he’s just so different from normal because volleyball is one of the things besides academics and stuff that he’s confident in

as a side note he got voted most boyfriend material in one of the school newspaper polls because he looks perfect and is the sweetest (have you seen how he gets so soft with the boys in every video online? don’t argue with me) and it made its way into the yearbook

older brother and alumnus sungyeol clowns him every other day for it

daeyeol gets revenge by reenacting sungyeol’s worst volleyball fails and sending them to his friends

has a whole folder on his phone of reenactments at this point

anyway like i said daeyeol is a little awkward in everyday situations so enter you: confrontational + rash with a sharper tongue than is probably necessary and an affinity for changing temperatures

well. more like you can ratchet the temperature up at will. bringing it down is much harder

it’s useful when it’s winter and everyone’s freezing but the temperature also likes to creep higher when you get pissed off which is sometimes not nice when it’s like negative degrees outside and inside it’s like 100

the only way to cool the room when the second thing happens is to calm you the fuck down! or turn on the air conditioner

and the first is easier said than done

it’s not like it’s only unpleasant for other people though bc you’re not immune to the heat and also because you’re the one like. producing the heat?? your skin gets boiling hot to the touch if you’re upset enough and several times people have gotten fucking burns by touching your arm to try and calm you down

usually it’s fine bc you have a good grasp on your power when you’re calm but if someone says something offensive/stupid.... god help them

anyway even though daeyeol doesn’t like to use his power much he’s still one of the people that others go to when situations need defusing because they (mostly) respect him as an older and more mature person (i say mostly because the amount of disrespect he gets from his volleyball team on the daily... yeah let’s just trend #prayfordaeyeol)

and that’s how you meet! you’re yelling at someone for saying something fucking stupid and daeyeol walks in right when you’re threatening to hit said person if they don't shut up rn

daeyeol manages to calm the situation but not before everyone stupid enough to still be in the room is sweating buckets including him

this just... continues

like daeyeol becomes the go to for situations involving you specifically bc you respond better to him for some reason 

and you get to know each other just from daeyeol walking in on you threatening to throw someone out of the window and saying no! nope :) no you’re not throwing anyone out of any window :) come on y/n let’s go :) while subtly dragging you out of the room

the thing is he listens to you. he actually listens to why you got pissed instead of just telling you to control your anger. like he does emphasize the fact that you need to control yourself because what if this happens around people without powers? but he listens and that helps more than anything really and you actually start getting better at controlling yourself 

and somewhere along the way things just click between you two and you become friends. you like him bc he’s v kind if awkward and he’s the only person who’s never tried to calm you using golden tongue manipulation and he likes you bc you’re so outspoken and bold

then one day you get genuinely so upset about something someone said and daeyeol doesn’t care about your blistering hot skin he doesn’t care if you’re raising the temperature in the room he doesn’t even care if he gets burnt he just kisses you on the forehead softly and holds you close even as you’re overheating

which just drains the fight out of you and you kind of collapse on him and stay like that for a while

he then takes you out for cold drinks (because you’re still overheating a little) and kisses you over an iced americano and boom relationship

the other boys find you very fun to be around and marvel over your relationship bc you’re confident and loud meanwhile daeyeol is a bumbling mess when he isn’t using his power or he isn’t on the court

but it works ok it just does. don’t question it

(jangjun does once and even with his super strength he ended up lying on the court bc the element of surprise is the only thing that can really get him)

(and lucky for you you know exactly how to take advantage of that <3)

(daeyeol just thinks it’s hot + impressive and kisses you right after)

(bomin + 99 line gag but you threaten to give them the same treatment and they shut up)

sungyoon - telekinesis

so as casey said sungyoon comes from a long line of telekinetics except he’s not entirely sure why he’s even at this school because... he has never shown any manifestations of this power

not to his knowledge at least

i say this bc people have seen stuff twitch when sungyoon’s around, he just never notices and thus concludes that either people are fucking around with him and it never happened or it was just a coincidence

anyway he doesn’t really care much, like sure he sometimes gets insecure/unsure of himself in a school full of kids with superpowers

but like i said this school is just a safe haven for those born with powers, they’re not training or anything they just learn to control what they have

and since sungyoon doesn’t have much to control he’s doing fine as far as everyone is really concerned

it’s also kind of nice being the only normal one on the volleyball team like everyone else has wack-ass powers that fuck shit up but sungyoon is like the calm in the middle of the storm like hi yes i am also part of this team of idiots but at least i don’t break equipment or injure people inadvertently

for this reason some people think sungyoon is the only sane person on the team 

they are wrong

sungyoon can and will go batshit insane at the first opportunity

he is also a massive tease and if anyone asks him to do anything he’ll make it a back and forth for like 5 minutes before deciding whether or not to actually do it

bomin: sungyoon can you help me get the mats

sungyoon: why

bomin: p l e a s e

repeat for at least five minutes and you now have a regular day to day conversation with sungyoon

but sungyoon really is passionate about volleyball okay, like he loves the sport so much

he used to get worked up about it so much that he’d over-practice and actually play worse :/

got over that with joochan/daeyeol’s help (he and daeyeol weren’t on good terms for a week or two though) and now they’re one happy dysfunctional family :)

if you bring up that time in sungyoon’s life you will be subjected to his death glare so maybe just... don’t

like even jangjun doesn’t talk about it and that’s saying something

anyway moving on 

in terms of powers you’re the opposite of sungyoon. aka you have wack-ass telekinesis and you have no idea how to control it

which?? somehow sungyoon comes in handy with this

because despite not really having powers himself, he watched his sister learn to control her abilities and also listened in on his parents’ advice to her because most of the time controlling powers really just amounts to controlling emotions

aka why sungyoon is (for the most part) so calm and mature

when he’s not purposely being a little shit to golcha of course

but you and sungyoon are kinda... at a loss bc it’s not like you go absolutely off the walls batshit insane?? like you’re a relatively calm person and even though the powers do manifest when you’re feeling a strong emotional upsurge

other than that they’re just... seemingly random???

regardless of that sungyoon makes you start on breathing exercises n shit and you would honestly probably complain if you weren’t sick of your powers manifesting every five fucking seconds. like at this point you’ll try anything

cue long sessions after school in the gym of sungyoon practicing spikes while you sit in the corner controlling your breath to the beat of balls bouncing on the floor

sometimes a few of the other team members join in but more often than not it’s just you and sungyoon

as time passes, in between cleaning scuff marks off the floor and picking up balls that just have flown everywhere, you and sungyoon get closer

and somehow... you don’t know exactly what happened but your powers aren’t so out of wack anymore

sungyoon can’t completely explain it either but like? neither of you is going to complain

you kind of think it might have something to do with how sungyoon is just a calming presence. like when you talk with him and stuff you’re less likely to inadvertently make something move or whatever

it’s not just with sungyoon too - it kind of seems like if you’re focusing intently on something, then the mini episodes don’t happen

sungyoon hypothesizes you might be a little like youngtaek as in you need something to concentrate on because if you zone out shit happens

you maybe zone out less than he does but maybe it’s a more subtle thing with you than with him who knows

anyway

one day you two go to get coffee after leaving the gym together and sungyoon looks weirdly nervous and you ask if something’s up while praying you don’t send all the sugar packets flying everywhere 

and then when you leave with your coffee he asks you out

like really. he asks you out. you can’t believe it

so the lid flies off your coffee cup and liquid splashes everywhere

now you have burns all over your hands from hot coffee and sungyoon is freaking the fuck out and luckily donghyun was just leaving school so he gets called over to take care of your burns

anyway after that sungyoon is still a flustered mess and you’re trying to tell him you’re fine, look all the redness is gone and also yeah sorry about that i’d love to go on a date with you

CUE SUNGYOON’S COFFEE CUP FLYING OUT OF HIS HANDS AND SPLATTERING ALL OVER THE GROUND

you swear it wasn’t you and sungyoon KNOWS he didn’t just drop it so the only conclusion left is that sungyoon did it

oh my god he actually has telekinesis!

(the rest of golcha: yeah let’s just pretend we HAVEN’T been saying this for literal years)

anyway let’s just say that between sungyoon confessing + figuring out he actually has telekinesis powers it was a very eventful day

golcha loves you but is also wary of whenever you’re around bc sungyoon tends to get v nervous and maybe the net starts lifting out of the ground if you surprise him with a kiss

but it’s fine! you’ve learned all of the techniques sungyoon taught you, now it’s just time for him to get a taste of that too :)

and sungyoon would probably bitch and moan if it was with any other person but it’s more time to spend with you so is he really gonna complain? 

no <3

jangjun - super strength

ah yes. resident ‘i’m doing my best to control my powers but sometimes i get too excited and whoops now there’s a hole in the gym floor’

once again credits to casey for that idea (she actually wrote a drabble for it which you can find here)

he’s gotten better at controlling his powers but uh sometimes excitement gets the better of him all right

look he’s trying!! ok!! he really is

especially when it comes to volleyball - he’s really serious, does his absolute best not to cause any damage to the gym because one time he cracked the wood floors and let’s just say admin was not happy

worst day of jangjun’s life trying to explain that shit to the principal

so yeah he’s doing a lot better now with controlling his power

but at the same time let’s not ignore half the reason why there are far fewer accidents than before - you

you and jangjun meet like halfway through your first year of school during gym class when jangjun hits a ball a little (a lot) too hard and it ends up knocking you the fuck out

a healed concussion + a million apologies later, you and jangjun are laughing your heads off in the clinic with the nurse screwing her eyes up in confusion like?? this boy just smashed a volleyball into your head and now you’re laughing with him wtf

but jangjun’s so funny and friendly that it’s hard not to become his friend so after that you two are essentially inseparable

so when jangjun decides to play for the volleyball team you sign up to be team manager

(you also help him practice and do you best to keep his power in check)

which works out! because you’re responsible and organized but most importantly you have power over air

and given enough warning (which, as you gain more experience, doesn’t have to be a lot), you can manipulate the air to stop some of jangjun’s more aggressive serves from hitting the ground too fast and causing major damage to the newly-renovated floors

daeyeol + the coach thank every higher being for your existence at each practice

youngtaek + joochan started a cult in your name after you saved both of them from one of jangjun’s spikes hitting them in the head

yeah let’s just say golcha is v thankful jangjun gave you that concussion back in first year

ANYWAY

one day you’re picking up some volleyballs that are lying around while the boys play a practice match in the middle of the gym

and because your back is to the fucking court. you don’t get any warning except a few sharp screams before a ball just motherfucking smashes against the back of your head and knocks you the fuck out for the second time in your life

you come to on the ground with donghyun passing his hands over your throbbing head

and the first thing you do when the pain is gone is look up and ask where jangjun is

half the team has disappeared from the gym but donghyun tells you he had a major mental breakdown when he saw you unconscious on the floor and just ran out. the others are already trying to find him but you don’t care you just run out to try and find wherever the fuck your best friend is

you find him crouched in the corner of a stairwell with his head in his hands and you’re like jangjun what’s wrong oh my god are you okay?

and he just looks up like oh my god you’re okay. you’re okay right?

you nod like yeah?? donghyun worked his magic of course i’m fine now but what’s up with you? were you crying?

he just clams up then which obviously confirms your suspicions and you’re like dude... why were you crying. i’m really fine

and then he explodes like - i fucking hate my power sometimes i hate that i can’t control it i hate that i accidentally break people or hurt people when i don’t mean to and it’s even worse when it’s people I care about like fuck y/n why can’t i just have a power that doesn’t cause all this stupid shit - 

so you just lash out with a gust of wind and shake the railing on the stairwell

jangjun’s like why did you do that

and you say every power has a destructive side. i can hurt people on accident. if i got really riled up i could slam someone against a wall and knock them out the same way you did with me. it’s happened before

jangjun flinches but you just step closer like jangjun. you’re doing fine. your power is cool as fuck. i admire the control you have over it and no don’t argue, i’ve watched you over the past few years and do you know how much you’ve improved?

it ends up with you hugging jangjun and despite all his muscle he just collapses like a rag doll in your arms and on impulse you kiss his forehead like it’s ok, i’m fine, you’re fine. we’re all fine

and that little impulse kiss changes everything. even though neither of you really says anything explicit at first, something shifts between you and even though jangjun was touchy before, now you hold hands between classes and hug before practice and golcha is just like... /eyes emoji/

jangjun brings it up one weekend when you two are trying (key word: trying) to study and you just kind of shrug and ask what do you really want to be? labels or nah? bc honestly you’re happy as long as he’s around

which makes jangjun’s heart flutter and maybe the pen in his hand explodes all over his notes (not like they were legible anyway, you just promise to lend him yours) and voila! you’re dating

it’s super cute but also super loud

like jangjun will yell across the court like HEY WATCH ME ROLL AROUND ON THIS VOLLEYBALL Y/N (or whatever the fuck he was doing in the breathe mv behind) and you yell back like FUCK IT U P JANGJUN!!! 

coach maybe praises your existence a little less now but daeyeol just reminds him that you’ve saved every member on this team + him at least once by now and the cult revives

as your bf jangjun strong-arms (literally) youngtaek/joochan out of the way as the head of the cult now

you two are very supportive and very loud in your support

you’re essentially each other’s professional hype-people and like to celebrate with kisses while everyone else gags

it’s disgustingly cute

someone always yells something about pda and then jangjun just kisses you harder

cue the boys screaming and you laughing and an unamused (he’s amused he’s just trying not to show it) daeyeol

coach is the only one who’s really unamused but at some point he just gives up because jangstar does what he wants as long as you’re fine with it

/shrugging emoji/

youngtaek - pyrokinesis

youngtaek has power over fire but it’s not really so much that he can control fire and more like he just... zones out and oops his notes are burning

it’s usually best to keep him and daeyeol’s s/o in separate rooms because fire + ratcheting up the temperature does not equal a good time

like casey said when he’s focused it’s all cool and he has a decent measure of control over his power but when his eyes go dazed and he’s staring into the distance then you better pray the room has a bucket of water or a fire extinguisher nearby

it isn’t usually a problem because this is a school for kids with powers and youngtaek isn’t the only pyrokinetic here but it is a hassle when sometimes youngtaek zones out on the court and hits the ball and suddenly jangjun’s screaming because he got hit by a volleyball on fire and now his uniform is on fire and everything is on fire

oops

but anyway with anything that isn’t a) volleyball or b) music youngtaek has less than half the attention span of a goldfish which means he may or may not be lagging behind in several classes

and it isn’t enough for him to be in danger of failing just yet but his teachers are like youngtaek i think you might need a tutor if you want to do more than just pass the final

he also needs better grades if he wants to keep playing volleyball so he decides to find a tutor

so he asks daeyeol about it bc despite his dyslexia daeyeol is a pretty good student but he’s busy as an upperclassman and all so he refers youngtaek to you!

you have the power to memorize anything you put your mind to. like if you really wanted to you could memorize an entire map of the city or its skyline but you just don't care enough to do that

only things you care about are school + your hobbies + your friends/family

anyway you meet up with youngtaek and from the start it’s kind of a mess because he zones out in the middle of you teaching him math and somehow sets the table on fire

after that you make sure to keep a bottle of water nearby (it comes in handy several times)

but despite the slightly disastrous first meeting you take a liking to youngtaek because beyond everything he’s genuine and honest and just a really good person regardless of the fact that he’s a little fire-happy

so tutoring sessions start ending with walking each other to the bus stop or getting a drink together or whatever and it’s really nice and sweet, youngtaek’s happy to be doing better in his classes bc you’re so patient and a really good teacher 

and one day he blurts out that when he heard about your power he wasn’t sure you’d be a good teacher because everything seems to come easily to you

then he covers his mouth because holy hell he wasn’t supposed to say that youngtaek come ON

you calmly put out the little fire on the side of the desk before telling him it’s fine, you get that a lot but really being able to memorize things isn’t as helpful as people seem to think

like sure you can memorize the fact that 2+2=4 but if you don’t understand addition as a concept then you won’t be able to do 5+5=10 or something like that

and you can’t exactly just memorize concepts. so with memorization comes a lot of hard work in trying to understand it all

and from this little conversation youngtaek comes out with so much more respect for you?? like god damn he now sees just how hard you work for everything you care about and youngtaek likes that. he likes it a lot

so yeah both of you have budding feelings at this point but because i'm the author i get to say you’re idiots in love so you don’t say shit

until after finals you and youngtaek go to a party daeyeol’s hosting and you both get tipsy-drunk-ish and by the end of the night youngtaek’s face is buried in your shoulder and before he passes out fully he mumbles that he likes you so much it doesn’t make sense

and you’re drunk too so all you do is kiss his forehead and fall asleep

unluckily for you a mostly sober kim donghyun got a video of all that so when you both wake up a couple hours later it’s to several still-awake members of the volleyball team + your friends all up in your faces like oh my god they’re in LOVE

youngtaek wakes up with all the noise and just blinks sleepily and you kinda pat his head and tell him to go back to sleep while giving everyone else death glares like SHUT THE FUCK UP SO HE CAN SLEEP

but you don’t know about the video >:)

so one of the sober boys ends up bringing you two home and when you wake up the next morning donghyun has added you both to a group chat and sent the video there

you scream into your pillow

youngtaek screams into his pillow

and you both proceed to do absolutely nothing about it until joochan locks the two of you in one of the music rooms and slides a copy of the song youngtaek wrote about you under the door 

you get to the paper before youngtaek can burn it and it’s messy it’s awkward it’s hilarious but you two end up together by the end of the day so it worked... kinda?

your presence helps youngtaek a lot by giving him something more to focus on throughout the day and subsequently not set everything on fire

though mind reader bomin complains because he used to zero in on youngtaek’s mind when things got too much since quote unquote ‘there’s not much going on up there’ (credits to casey + fact in star) but now if youngtaek’s brain isn’t playing the music from the mii channel it’s thinking about you which isn’t ideal

youngtaek may or may not have attacked bomin after that

you may or may not have had to pull him away when bomin’s shirt started smoking

but it’s cool the smoking goes away when you kiss his forehead and youngtaek just beams like the entire sun

seungmin - foresight

like casey said seungmin has foresight and it’s anything but useful

he’ll either get glimpses of dumb unimportant shit like haha the day’s lunch includes rice or visions of stuff he can’t avoid like hey youngtaek’s going to trip on air oh oops he just did aaand now his shirt is on fire

honestly if he was going to have foresight he could at least like?? predict stocks or some shit?? why the fuck does it MATTER if youngtaek’s about to fall if seungmin can’t even help him

not like he’d help even if he could because seungmin isn’t an angel and youngtaek falling is funny but still it’s the principle of the goddamn matter

sometimes he gets glimpses of whether or not golcha will win their volleyball matches but like casey said he doesn’t say anything because he doesn’t want to ruin the team spirit before the game’s even over

plus who said the future was fixed in stone? like none of seungmin’s momentary glimpses have been wrong yet but there’s always a chance... right?

seungmin isn’t going to discount that possibility yet at least

but he didn’t always think that way - you’re actually the one who opened him up to that point of view

you’re an ordinary person with no powers or anything but you work part-time at the juice bar across the street from his school and sometimes golcha will go there after practice to get something to drink

and you have a special soft spot for seungmin because he’s the first of the group who started frequenting the shop

and on that first ever visit he helped catch you when you slipped bringing a tray of drinks to a few people sitting in the corner

even though you both ended up on the floor covered in juice he still managed to break your fall enough that none of the glasses broke and while giving him his drink you kind of joked that it was like he knew what was going to happen before it did

which... is not exactly false

seungmin was waiting for his drink when he got a little glimpse of you falling and him helping catch you but then it all happened before he could even process the vision so like yeah he did see it but not soon enough to prevent anything

like usual

anyway you promise seungmin a free drink the next time he comes in when you’re on shift and so he does come in though he insists you don’t have to give him his drink for free

you just say well buy me a drink then. two for one

(listen he’s cute and he broke your fall and he seems polite. who’s gonna sue you for being a little flirty)

and so a beautiful relationship is born :)

seungmin really likes you a lot like so much?? he used to laugh at youngtaek for being so whipped for his partner but now he thinks he kind of understands it

the one thing to worry about is the fact that you don’t have powers and he does but it’s not that big of an issue really. like foresight is one of the abilities that doesn’t really manifest itself physically beyond maybe having a bit of reaction time? but considering his foresight is literally useless even that’s debatable

well actually there’s another thing to worry about: the boys finding out he has an s/o and teasing him to high hell

which they do while also demanding free drinks as seungmin’s friends

on days when you’re feeling nice you’ll do it but money always appears in the tip jar that pays for the free drinks

(it’s daeyeol. he feels bad)

anyway you don’t know about the foresight/powers thing until daeyeol calls you one night to pick seungmin up from a party one night and on the way home he stops you from almost getting run into by a speeding car

WHILE TIPSY/DRUNK

once you’ve recovered you ask him how he reacted so fast and he just kind of tipsily smiles and says ‘i saw it was going to happen’

you don’t ask him anything then because he’s drunk and sleepy so you just drive him home but the entire time you’re thinking about all the little things that have just... seemed questionable during the time you’ve known seungmin

and it’s weird as fuck but at the same time you can’t figure out any other explanation? because once is normal, twice could be a coincidence, but upwards of ten incidents is not right

it feels like you’re bella confronting edward about being a stupid vampire (no i never read twilight and i'm not sorry about it) but a couple of weeks later you ask him

he doesn’t actually remember the drive back home that night because he was kind of too wasted but he definitely does remember the other incidents including when you two met skdjghs

he spills after a few minutes of awkward silence and begs you not to tell which of course you promise to because why the fuck would you not? if the truth got leaked that would be disastrous and it’s not like you’re scared or anything, seungmin’s (mostly) harmless even if some of the other abilities like youngtaek + fire or jangjun + strength give you pause

but you get to talking about his power of foresight and seungmin kind of shrugs at one point while saying that he doesn’t know why he gets glimpses, it’s all inevitable anyway so what’s the point

and you just say maybe it isn’t that way. maybe he’s seeing one future possibility, maybe even the most likely one, but that doesn’t mean it’s the only one set in stone right?

seungmin loves you a lot for that. like so much. it’s a new perspective and it gives him more hope than he used to have and you just KNOW the conversation ends in kisses and cuddles

because while he’s not going to actively try and prevent what’s about to happen if it’s bad (like he can’t exactly influence the outcome of a volleyball match beyond just doing his best - plus, his foresight doesn’t give him enough time to really react to most things), it gives him some hope that even if his foresight says something will turn out bad, there’s a chance it might turn out well :)

anyway seungmin pocket boy you two fit right into each other when you hug which results in the other boys cooing but seungmin’s strong even if he’s small so they get a few new bruises that donghyun just refuses to heal

we love evil donghyun

you also go to their volleyball matches and seungmin trusts you enough to tell you what glimpses he got of the game but you always remind him the future may not be set in stone and regardless of what he sees you always cheer him on just as loudly

all the boys come piling into the juice bar after games and you smile and give seungmin a free drink while everyone else has to pay

they decry favoritism but you just shrug and kiss seungmin over the counter while they scream

dramatic assholes

jaehyun - gravity manipulation

so like casey said jaehyun can manipulate the gravity of objects, either send them floating up in the air or slamming down on the round

which sucks if the object in question is a volleyball and it comes pounding down on his toes when he isn’t paying attention

this happened at the first ever volleyball practice he attended and the boys (read: jibeom) have yet to let it fucking go

his husky voice doesn’t help because when he complains jibeom the boys just imitate his voice which derails the entire practice and now coach + daeyeol + team manager who’s jangjun’s s/o are all lying facedown on the ground like when will this madness end

never. the answer is never

but it’s ok jaehyun gets his revenge when they’re all practicing and he sends jibeom’s ball flying up into the air and refuses to let it come down and when he does the ball drops right on jibeom’s head and whoops look who’s got a concussion hey donghyun can you fix this

jaehyun is also one of the few occasional lifesavers (literally) besides team manager + donghyun because given enough warning, he can manipulate the gravity on one of jangjun’s maybe too strong serves and make it come down more softly than it would’ve otherwise

the problem is he isn’t super adept with his power

more experienced students will be able to manipulate gravity very subtly, but jaehyun more or less has three settings - floating, slamming down, and very occasionally something in between

which isn’t exactly ideal but jaehyun’s working on it, it’s fine, he’s not too pressed about it

anyway you’re a student at the school for students with superpowers in the next city over and you play basketball

you don’t know jaehyun but he sure as hell knows you because even though he stopped playing basketball a few years ago to focus on volleyball, he still loves the sport and he happens to think you’re one of the best players he’s ever see

also you’re really cute

jaehyun goes to every single basketball game that’s against your school just to watch you play 

he doesn’t really do much other than watch because a) he’s so focused on your performance that he doesn’t register much else and b) everyone would clown him for cheering your team on skdjgskjg

also jaehyun’s just shy. like really shy you couldn’t catch him approaching you/showing interest towards you unless someone forced it out of him

which is what his lovely friends from 99 line decide to do

they obviously know about his crush like joochan was with him the first time jaehyun went to watch a basketball game against your school so he SAW the heart eyes

he took a picture and sent it to jibeom who sent it to donghyun and now it’s the profile picture for their group chat dedicated to making sure jaehyun asks you out

jaehyun has no knowledge of this group chat because he’s oblivious

anyway one day after a game they’re in the parking lot bc jaehyun’s driving this time and jaehyun is babbling about oh my god y/n was so great this time they’re literally so good at basketball holy shit?? and while he’s talking he doesn’t notice jibeom/joochan/donghyun like. subtly pushing him closer and closer to your team who’s just waiting around the bus you’ll take to get back to your school

and only when you look up does jaehyun realize he’s now close enough for you to have heard literally everything he just said in the past minute or so 

cue the awkward crow noises as you and jaehyun just stare at each other

suddenly the backpack in jaehyun’s hand just drops onto his foot and if it weren’t for the steel-toed sneakers he’s gotten in the habit of wearing then he’d probably have a broken foot

as such he kind of lets out a quiet dying screech (it HURTS) and now jibeom/donghyun/joochan are dying like three feet away meanwhile your friends are screaming into their hands like Y/N IT’S A CUTE BOY YOU LIKE CUTE BOYS TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY YOU IDIOT

and when nothing happens for five seconds beyond jaehyun’s ears turning tomato red joochan steps forward and is like hello my friend here is whipped for you so if you’re comfortable would you please give him your number because he’s been dying for it since like. last year when we saw you play for the first time

jaehyun nearly launches himself at joochan like SHUT UP DUDE but then you’re handing over your phone while looking away because fuck jaehyun’s really cute and you wouldn’t mind getting to know him okay??

(who wouldn’t though that’s the real question)

anyway the two cities aren’t too big so it’s not that hard for you and jaehyun to meet up for coffee at some point (which jaehyun surprisingly gets the courage to initiate - he reasons it as he’s the one who was interested first so he kind of has to be the one to do it but that doesn’t mean he’s screaming throughout the entire text conversation) and after a semi-awkward first interaction you two surprisingly hit it off and after a few weeks you’re dating

you’re the ultimate athletic couple like jaehyun does volleyball and you do basketball and sometimes you play each other in the park or jaehyun starts teaching you how to play volleyball and it’s really cute

over the summer your friend group + golcha goes to the beach to hang out and jaehyun sees firsthand how much you’ve improved at volleyball 

i didn’t mention it earlier but your power is water manipulation which not only comes in handy with putting out youngtaek’s inadvertent flames but also is very useful in splashing your friends + golcha all at once at the beach when no one else is looking

of course everyone just piles on you and sends you flailing into the ocean and maybe you choke on seawater because you’re laughing so hard but jaehyun pulls you out and your first kiss tastes like salty ocean and even with the rest of your friends + golcha screaming it’s perfect 

water manipulation also helps when they dump you both into the ocean and you just kinda make a bubble where it’s deep enough and kiss jaehyun there (yeah pjo the last olympian vibes deal with it)

daeyeol gets worried when you don’t come up and then you surface a second later in his face and he screams it’s glorious

you use your power to strip away your sweat after basketball practice and jaehyun begs you to do it for him too after volleyball practice when you’re there which of course you do because you’re a nice s/o

when he gets a little better at the subtleties of his power jaehyun likes to lift you up using his gravity manipulation and spin you around it’s really cute

you show up to jaehyun’s volleyball games against your school to cheer him on despite the fact that one of your friends is on your school’s volleyball team skdjgshkd (and maybe jaehyun accidentally drops the volleyball HARD on his foot the first time you scream his name)

jaehyun starts doing the same when it comes to your basketball games he is no longer shy about screaming your name from his school’s side of the bleachers :)

his friends call him a traitor but jaehyun doesn’t really care because he’s the one who gets to kiss you after your games so who’s the real winner here?

him obviously

jibeom - invisibility

casey i think this blurb was my favorite, it’s so fucking funny and literally so jibeom

so like casey said jibeom can turn invisible which is really fun for him and a nightmare for everyone else because he’ll just sneak up on people and be like BOO

if you have a weak heart you better stay vigilant

but there are also issues because like casey came up with sometimes jibeom accidentally turns invisible during a fucking game and gets confused as to why no one’s serving to him until one of his teammates or the coach on the sidelines notices he’s gone and is like JIBEOM YOU’RE FUCKING INVISIBLE

it’s fine the school only ever plays sports against other supernatural schools to avoid spreading the secret about superpowers to regular humans so people are used to this kind of shit but it’s embarrassing for jibeom skdjgshjg

he’ll try to put his ability to his advantage by turning invisible when he’s supposed to be running laps/doing drills and hoping daeyeol/coach/team manager don’t notice

at this point though they always do and then it’s another five laps/set of drills for him

big sad

anyway jibeom’s just living his invisible life you know being a little shit with everyone

mocking jaehyun’s voice and turning invisible when jaehyun tries to swipe at him

sneaking up behind his friends and scaring them even if it means he gets decked in the face (that’s one thing he won’t repeat with jangjun. like the dude doesn’t get scared easily but if he gets startled... the super strength is not a blessing for jibeom if he doesn’t move fast enough)

and then you transfer to the school

so you used to go to the school jaehyun’s parter goes to but your family moved or smth so now you’re here and jaehyun’s the only person you even vaguely know so you kinda stick around and become friends

and of course jaehyun introduces you to the rest of golcha

now jibeom is in the gym. invisible okay. waiting for jaehyun to show up so he can do his daily scare-jaehyun-because-i’m-a-little-shit routine

then you walk into the gym with jaehyun and the first thing you fucking say is there are thirteen people in this room (10 golcha members + you + team manager + coach) but i only see twelve so who’s the invisible one walking up right behind jaehyun

jaehyun fucking screams, a whole crate of volleyballs goes tumbling to the floor because gravity manipulation + jaehyun getting scared go hand in hand, everything is in chaos, youngtaek+joochan+jangjun are crying of laughter at jaehyun’s reaction, and jibeom is now standing visible behind jaehyun wide-eyed and surprised because how the fuck did you know

turns out your power is being able to sense/locate invisible things including invisible jibeoms so the rest of golcha + manager + coach think you’re a lifesaver because finally someone can find jibeom whenever he disappears

wrong

like yeah if jibeom has disappeared in the middle of practice you’ll yell and be like KIM JIBEOM GET YOUR ASS OUT AND PRACTICE YOU DUMB PIECE OF SHIT 

is it a surprise that you and daeyeol’s partner hit it off in less than five seconds

but if jibeom’s disappearing just to be a little shit you’ll purposely point people in the wrong direction like you’ll reassure youngtaek that oh no jibeom’s over there trying to scare seungmin and then jibeom appears right behind youngtaek and now both of you are cackling on the floor and youngtaek is about to set your backpacks on fire

you may have joined the school late but now you are an honorary 99 line member regardless of what year you were actually born in i don’t care they don’t care they’re just happy to have another ball of chaos to join their ranks

coach considers banning you from the gym but daeyeol reminds him that if he wants to ban you he’ll have to ban everyone else who comes in to visit and cause chaos aka his partner and you know daeyeol needs his hugs before practice so that isn’t going to happen

so you get to stay

most of the time it’s fine like you just sit in the bleachers and do homework while occasionally yelling at jibeom or other slackers, it’s only really during breaks that you act up

so anyway even though you’re an honorary 99 line member you spend most of your time with jibeom pulling dumb tricks or being unintentionally funny as fuck

therefore it is only logical that the rest of 99 line starts pushing you two together

fucking meddling brats

they do all the normal stupid shit like announcing outings to malls and ditching you two alone, deciding to go to the movies and ditching you two alone, you see the idea

look they’ve got pea brains they can’t come up with much

but get this: you and jibeom are already dating

yeah. you both started fucking dating a few months after meeting because you were both having a late night study session at your house and your tongues were loose with exhaustion and you may or may not have said some stuff you weren’t planning to

you almost kissed but then you were like it’s almost midnight and we haven’t brushed our teeth so maybe not tonight

it’s fine jibeom got a kiss the next day (the whole day he acted like he wasn’t waiting for it at all and you teased him for that before finally leaning in)

you haven’t kept your relationship secret out of shame or embarrassment or anything you both just kinda want to see how far 99 line + rest of golcha will go to get you two together. plus it’s nice when they buy you movie theater tickets when they just plan to ditch so you don’t have to pay for the date you end up having

it’s really fucking funny the more frustrated they get so you and jibeom don’t let up until daeyeol catches you two kissing just outside the locker room after you thought everyone left (NOTHING FUCKING NASTY OKAY THIS IS A SFW PLACE AND BEYOND THAT - NO ONE HERE IS GOING TO DO A N Y T H I NG OUTSIDE A L O C K E R R O O M)

shit goes down in the volleyball group chat that night but you and jibeom are just sitting together on his couch laughing at everything

99 line definitely holds a grudge

daeyeol won’t shut up about how he needs to clean his eyes out with bleach (as if he doesn’t want to kiss his partner every five seconds jfc)

coach just despairs over the chaos you two bring

but you and jibeom don’t care :) 

side note you know what’d be fun - if you don’t have the slightest fashion sense like jibeom and you two become known for wearing stripes + whatever your favorite design happens to be all the damn time

idk i just think it’d be funny to watch everyone trying to clown you but literally neither of you giving a shit

donghyun - healing

so like casey said donghyun has healing abilities

and first and foremost he would like to say he’s tired of healing the injuries these idiots get every practice

i mean he’s not going to refuse treatment for like a jammed finger or a sprained ankle because that’s normal in volleyball or even burns from youngtaek/joochan because that’s just accidentally losing control which could happen to anyone but like??? falling over because you tried to prank jangjun and he basically backhanded you out of surprise??? that’s on you jibeom

kidding kidding donghyun will heal whatever’s been set on golcha but he WILL complain about it the whole time

that’s his right ok if he has to deal with this bunch of idiots (who also don’t fucking clean up after themselves) he’s going to complain about it with his whole chest

which is not a very broad chest but donghyun can talk a Long time so that more than makes up for it

gets teased by all the other team members but they’re really grateful for him not just because of his healing abilities + affinity for cleaning but also because he really does care for them

and as much as he complains he’ll do as much healing as needed, even if it drains his energy

but there are two major cons of his abilities

1. using his power too much (like all other powers) drains him of energy, so if he heals one too many injuries at a time then he’s in danger of also passing out

it isn’t usually a problem because it’s not like golcha gets injured every five seconds but some practices are more accident prone than others

once joochan fell and broke his leg and donghyun passed out trying to heal it and ended up in the hospital too. not fun

2. he can’t use his power on himself. like if sungyoon fractures his finger donghyun can fix that no big deal but he can’t do the same to himself healing just doesn’t work that way

it is for this reason that each sports team has a designated healer who isn’t a member of the team - of course if the team has a member who is a healer that’s useful, but they need to keep their energy up + they can’t heal themselves which is a problem

anyway the last healer for the volleyball team graduated last year so you come in to take their place

you’re super nice to golcha like you heal their injuries whenever anything happens no matter how stupid it was and they start making jokes about how you’re more helpful than donghyun haha because you don’t complain/nag about everything

and like donghyun knows they’re teasing but at the same time... it kinda hurts

what makes it worse is that you’re nothing but nice to him as well? like it’d be so much easier to dislike you if you were rude

so donghyun just kinda... avoids you and doesn’t say anything about it to anyone. does his absolute best to avoid getting injured so he doesn’t have to be around you any more than necessary

and several times you try to make conversation but he just brushes you away which leaves you confused and makes donghyun feel worse but he really doesn’t know what else to do

then one bad day he jumps up but misses the ball and falls on his leg hard. like really hard and there’s pain shooting up his side but he can’t feel a break or anything so he just gets up and tries to keep playing, like practice ends in five minutes anyway he may as well continue 

but you call out and say to stop practice, donghyun’s hurt 

except donghyun has had a really bad day and this is just the icing on the cake so he may or may not yell at you to go away, he’s fucking fine, and when you keep pressing he just grabs his stuff and leaves

the second he gets home he collapses on the floor and just... stays there because yeah he may not have broken anything but his leg hurts like a bitch and then he starts crying

skips school the next day because he feels like absolute shit (mentally and physically) but 99 line comes to visit and they’re like so. explain what happened yesterday at practice

and donghyun is ready to get defensive but they’re more confused than anything, his outburst wasn’t like him at all and why would he yell at you? you never did anything wrong

that’s when donghyun breaks down and tells them everything about how he’s felt over the past few months with you as the new healer

it ends in a big cuddle session between four idiots and apologies and donghyun promises to apologize to you tomorrow 

which he does. and surprisingly you’re really gracious about it, it makes donghyun feel worse yet again because you’re so genuine and nice and you even offer to heal his leg again because it looks like it still hurts

the teasing decreases and donghyun feels much better, he also stops brushing you off and actually begins hanging out with you a little outside of school/practice

and while working late on a group project for history (your other group mates ditched you two and donghyun is still seething over it) he realizes that this has evolved into a stupid crush

said crush is only compounded when you tell the teacher half of your group did absolutely nothing without donghyun having to say anything

but of course since donghyun 1. is an idiot and 2. pretended to hate you for several long months he doesn’t say anything

until you fucking ask him to the end of the year dance. you ask him to the dance and donghyun thinks joochan has given him electric shock because his brain definitely has to be malfunctioning

after five solid seconds of short-circuiting he nods like an idiot and haha you’re going to the dance together

golcha boys won’t shut the fuck up about how cute it is or whatever 

donghyun blushes red while you just smile serenely and promise not to heal their injuries for the next week so they better avoid getting hurt

yeah donghyun is definitely in love with you

you’re probably a more low-key couple, you enjoy study dates or quiet activities more than like. amusement parks or whatever kind of shit joochan/jangjun subject their partners to

you might kiss in public if the moment feels right but more often than not the only real pda you show is holding hands which makes golcha coo

donghyun would rather hug you sweetly in private without worrying about his teammates trying to ruin the moment anyway

you agree but then proceed to kiss his nose in front of everyone and whoops he’s a blushing mess and golcha (+ the coach) are screaming

sigh

joochan - electricity

ah yes, the ultimate question: which hurts more, electric burns or fire burns?

join the golden child volleyball team and you can experience both firsthand!

jk (not really) but between joochan and youngtaek, golcha kinda has their pick of what kinds of burns to get (other than like. rope burn or burns from sliding on the ground idk)

like casey said it’s v lucky donghyun/his partner are around to heal them because really trying to slap a volleyball with a burnt hand is not fun

most of the time though joochan’s fine, he’s just full of energy and gets staticky when excited and like casey came up with the boys will sometimes dare each other to touch his hair when it’s sticking straight up and get shocked

or if you’re a bitch like jangjun you’ll take someone’s hand and purposely place it there so they get shocked

(jangjun’s also stupid though so he gets shocked by proxy if joochan’s staticky enough)

(i mean at least it makes everyone laugh???)

(yes this was inspired by that one video where he and bomin (i think) are playing with the lie detector (or was it the jangstar episode with daeyeol?? i can’t remember) and he put his hand over bomin’s/daeyeol’s and got wrecked too)

jesus christ this is supposed to be about joochan not jangjun let’s get back on track

anyway when joochan gets worked up either out of excitement or a more negative emotion the one thing that never fails to calm him down is music

he can play several instruments and sings very well 

so if it’s been a bad day or he’s feeling anxious, he’ll either go to the school music rooms of his own accord or daeyeol will notice and send him there to calm down a little before practice

which is where he finds you!

joochan’s playing the piano one day, singing n stuff and completely oblivious to you sleeping under the goddamn piano

how did you end up there? you were waiting for a friend/sibling (whichever one you choose) to finish up some after school activity so you could walk home together and you were sleepy and under the piano seemed like a decent place to nap so you set an alarm and passed out

look high school is draining so if you’re not making the best decisions by the end of the day who can blame you

and the piano is a real grand (let’s pretend the school has money shall we) so unless joochan was really looking (which he wasn’t), he wouldn’t have noticed you at the back

joochan’s there for a couple hours playing peacefully

AND THEN YOUR ALARM FUCKING RINGS 

joochan screams and falls off the stool

you shoot up and hit your head on the bottom of the piano

for a moment you two just groan in pain and then you look at each other and are like. what the fuck

and then it’s your turn to scream

anyway you both stop screaming eventually (miraculously no one comes in) and you try to explain to joochan as best you can and he just stays silent and you’re apologizing and then he busts out laughing

and somehow both of you are laughing through the pain and even though joochan wasn’t feeling too good earlier he feels even better laughing with you

when you eventually leave you have a new number in your phone and the promise of seeing joochan tomorrow :)

first thing joochan does when you go is text the 99 line group chat and be like guys someone fell asleep under the piano while i was playing and then woke up and my butt hurts from falling off the stool out of surprise but i think i’m in love

donghyun: stop being dramatic

jibeom: yeah what’ll happen when you accidentally shock them for the first time

joochan: you guys are horrible

but it turns out jibeom is... actually a little bit right

and it’s even worse. because your power is over water

water + electricity Do Not Mix

it isn’t usually too big of a problem? because it’s not like you conjure water out of anywhere or are always soaking wet bc you need water around to manipulate it, you can’t create it yourself

so like it’s kind of fine

except for some reason you react a little worse to joochan’s electric shocks (even mild ones) primarily due to your power which isn’t fun at all

it’s not just you, water manipulators are known to have more averse reactions to electric shocks than people with other powers

but it sucks because you really like joochan and he really likes you and both of you definitely want to ask each other out but how is this going to work if just being around joochan might be a hazard to you?

and for the first time joochan just... he really hates his power

like he’s given people some small burns before on accident but they weren’t big

with you though, even if it’s a small shock you react more badly than anyone expects and joochan really fucking hates it

after several volleyball practices where joochan is really out of it, daeyeol is about to ask what’s up but surprisingly jangjun steps up and says let me handle it

because after getting together with his partner, he thinks he has an idea of what joochan’s upset about

and when he asks joochan spills everything

it’s the first time joochan has really seen jangjun serious about anything other than volleyball or his partner

so jangjun tells joochan about what his partner told him, and really knocking someone unconscious once or twice isn’t as bad (though still bad) as getting electrocuted by a stray fucking spark

but similar advice applies. all powers have a destructive side and it shouldn’t stop joochan from living, he just has to learn to control himself as best as he can. there’s nothing more he can do but that

and this gives joochan the courage to ask if you want to talk about it

i’m going to say it ends well because i’m the author and i’m not going to give joochan a sad ending (he’s joochan what the fuck how could you do that to him) but you do acknowledge what could happen if either of you loses control

which just makes you two more determined to completely master your abilities so you won’t inadvertently hurt each other

really it’s sweet. joochan is still excitable but sparks fly off of him a lot less and the few that do you take care to avoid until his hair stops sticking up with static

and you take care to keep water away from him when he’s full of electricity

when joochan kisses you for the first time your lips tingle like his electricity is bleeding into you but it’s pleasant and sweet unlike his sparks and it just makes you want to kiss him all the time

(you tell that to him and he has to take like five minutes to figure out how to breathe again)

99 line won’t stop clowning you two for how you met and jibeom shows you the text about being in love that joochan sent 

legend says you can still hear jibeom’s electrocuted (not really he’s just being dramatic) screams in the gym late at night

yeah it’s cute you like bringing joochan roses bc they’re his favorite flower and joochan likes to bring you your favorite snacks and jangjun + his partner view you two like younger siblings in a way bc of the nature of your relationship

one big happy family until joochan’s hair sticks up and you have to yeet away

it’s fine though as long as you give him a kiss after he’s calmed down :)

bomin - mind reading

this one turned out so long compared to the others why

for context this was 1.7k and the others were all comfortably between 1k or 1.2k i'm gonna scream

anyway. bomin. mind reader like casey said. he’s kind of got it bad

well all mind readers do until they learn to block off their ability until they actually want to use it

which bomin is learning but he’s young and he found out his powers a little late so he doesn’t have as much experience

meaning whenever he goes to school his head kind of feels like it’s going to explode :/

it’s okay in volleyball - actually if anything it’s kind of useful

because yeah bomin is focused on the game, but he keeps a bit of his mind open to his teammates’ thoughts so he knows where to move or where to keep open and all that

and if the other team is a bunch of assholes he doesn’t stop from reading their minds a little so golcha’s ready to take them on :) small advantages

so where volleyball is concerned it’s not that big of an issue, even when the gym is full of spectators bomin can usually focus even without latching onto an empty mind because there’s so much going on in the game and he has to concentrate on that

however in uninteresting classes or when he’s just having a not good day...

luckily it’s gotten better after a year or so, like bomin can mostly filter out the world if he focuses on just one person’s thoughts

which is usually youngtaek (as casey + irl bomin came up with) because quote unquote ‘there’s not much going on up there’

yes i know i said that already in youngtaek’s part but it’s still hilarious to me and now it’s bomin’s turn so i’m saying it again. sue me

except now youngtaek has a partner about whom he thinks all the fucking time if he isn’t focusing on music/volleyball/class (though the last one is a little less frequent) so concentrating on youngtaek’s mind is now not exactly an option for bomin

no one’s mind is really empty at this point or at least not empty enough for bomin to use as a sort of safe space so he just resigns himself to having to go through all of this until he finally gets the hang of blocking off his ability

so the school year ends and daeyeol/sungyoon graduate wonderful blah blah blah long story short bomin is in all new classes with many new people and it is... a bit much

but life goes on and there’s not much bomin can do about things except work on his own power so even though he’s kinda crumbling around the edges he just smiles and bears it

and then he gets paired with you for a school project. at first it’s not anything special, just a regular project right

but then you guys decide to meet up at a cafe to work on it and it’s more crowded than either of you expected and bomin hasn’t had the greatest day so he just... stops in the middle of the cafe with this weird expression on his face because he’s just really overwhelmed

he doesn’t expect you to grab his wrist and drag him out of the cafe and into a quieter area of the street

and he really doesn’t expect you to say hey. focus on my mind, okay? my mind. focus. 

but he manages to and there’s just blissful emptiness and bomin latches on like it’s his lifeline (in a way, it is) and after a few minutes he manages to get his head together

turns out you have a sibling at home who’s also a mind reader and when they were still learning to control their power you learned to empty your thoughts temporarily so they’d have a place to focus on if things got to be too much

you also have a golden tongue (that you always control carefully) but it helps calm bomin down after he says it’s fine if you use it

after that you tell him if he’s having a mini crisis he can always find you

and bomin just about cries because after daeyeol/sungyoon graduated he kind of felt like his support network at school was missing something bc as much as he clowns them (daeyeol especially) he really relied on both to talk to about his mind-reading issues

now that you’re offering to support him... it just means a lot

definitely doesn’t help that he’s had a bad day in general and his emotions are kinda fraught at this point

you don’t end up getting anything done that day, you just take bomin over to your house bc no one’s there and your family won’t mind even if he’s still there when they get home, so you just take the time to get to know each other a little when bomin feels good enough to interact

he apologizes a lot for nothing getting done but you just hit him and tell him to shut up, it’s not his fault and you still have a couple weeks to work on it so it’s fine

you guys work on the project and it goes well in the end but even after that you and bomin still stay in contact

since you have a sibling who went through the same stuff bomin did, you have some tips to share about blocking out other minds even if your power isn’t the same

plus your golden tongue is really useful in calming bomin during the moments he needs it. you always make sure to get his permission to use it before you do though

when bomin asks about it you say it’s because of consent and stuff and if you don’t get permission it feels more like manipulation than helping? 

to him the similarities between you and daeyeol on that end are uncanny (even if you’re less awkward sorry not sorry daeyeol) and bomin just admires you all the more for it

anyway life’s going well, you and bomin are really good friends now but maybe like halfway through the year or something bomin senses that you’re becoming a little more closed off?

like he does his best not to read your mind but sometimes he gets accidental glimpses and though they’re usually pretty free (as in you don’t care what you’re thinking about around him) he now gets less of these glimpses and when he does, your mind seems emptier than usual

and he doesn’t want to bring it up? because that equals admitting he reads your mind sometimes no matter how accidental it is and with your emphasis on consent with your power bomin isn’t sure how well you’d take it

but then you avoid him for like two weeks so bomin breaks down about it to daeyeol over the phone and yeah it’s time for you two to talk

it takes some awkward silence and prodding and really big effort on bomin’s part to not willingly see what you’re thinking but the gist of it is

you have a fat crush on bomin and you’ve been avoiding him because you don’t want him to accidentally see any of it

bomin is like... y/n what the heck i have a crush on you too why didn’t you say anything :(

anyway it’s time for big reveals i guess so bomin admits he accidentally sees into your mind every so often and he feels really bad about it but you’re super understanding bc of your sibling of course

and bomin feels kind of stupid for worrying so much he should’ve thought of that but oh no now you’re hugging him and saying sorry into his shirt so pretty much all thoughts fly out of his mind because maybe this is a little like heaven to bomin

dating you is so refreshing. he’s so happy to have someone around who completely understands like yeah there are other mind readers in the school but it’s not as common a power as others and they’ve been masters at blocking out the world for a long while that they’ve kinda forgotten about how it feels to a beginner

but you’re so sweet and understanding and bomin feels even better when he meets your sibling who teases you two of course but also serves as another pillar of support for him

it’s not just one-sided either. like even though bomin tries not read your mind without permission, he’s still good at picking up on your moods even if you’re not explicit which makes it so much easier to trust and confide in him

and even if you’re not in the mood to talk he gets that too - he won’t force you to do anything

on the occasions when even you can’t pick through your own thoughts you let bomin take a peek in and even if he can’t help in the moment it’s enough that someone else knows and understands :)

you’re so fucking cute together. like the rest of golcha coos over you. even donghyun who’s the most low-key with his partner jfc

daeyeol and sungyoon come back from university to visit and bomin’s like. we’ve got to hide

you: why

bomin: just trust me

long story short you do not (you: they’re your former teammates and friends! how bad can it be?) and uh by the end of the day maybe you’ve had enough teasing about you/bomin for the rest of your life

but when he’s not teasing you do hit it off with daeyeol bc of the same powers thing and secretly bomin’s really happy that two of the people he treasures the most get along so well

yeah you and bomin are just super cute and rely on each other a lot in a healthy way and you’re always there for each other

everyone wishes they had as nice a relationship as you two :)

you: you shouldn’t. bomin teases me every five fucking seconds about something i did like three months ago

bomin: and yet you love me :)

you: debatable

bomin :|

(it’s ok you kiss him later and he gets smiley again which you delight in seeing even if he does go back to teasing you five seconds later)

If you enjoyed, please don’t forget to reblog and leave a comment to tell me what you thought! Thank you for reading and have a lovely day <3

(1 reblog = 1 prayer for the team coach he needs some support dealing with all these brats)

[moral-turpitudes]

Just Business:

Trigger Warnings: Angst, Some Fluff, Slight smut?, Swearing, Drinking, Neglect, Fighting, Blood/Gore, etc.

Word Count: 3,195

Characters: Thomas Shelby x Female!Reader 

Requested by: Anon

Request: “Could you make one with Tommy where he married the reader for business purposes and she wants to make things work but he’s cold towards her so she spends most of her time with Charlie, and when the whole family have to go back to Small Heath they become close but he gets jealous. Angst/Fluff and Smut if you think it fits.”

Summary: A marriage done for business seemed fitting at first, but as tensions rise among the family, Tommy eventually finds it in him to love again, but it falls on deaf ears as Y/N struggles to cope with his antics. 

The clock struck midnight as you lied awake, the door ajar where Tommy had left to go to his study. He’d often leave you in the middle of the night when his thoughts became too much and when his emotions would threaten to take over. He had only cried around you once before, and it was when his wife Grace, had passed. Other days his mood would swing like a fragile ball on a pendulum, and you being one of his assistants at the company, you got to see almost every face of Thomas Shelby first hand, except one of genuine love. His love seemed to only be reserved for ghosts.

The next morning you would awake and hear Charlie crying, and scuffling down the hall looking for his father. He was a toddler, hell-bent on trying to run through the house any chance he got, so mornings were often spent chasing him around the vast expanse of rooms. Unfortunately, Tommy was already gone for the day, leaving you and the nanny to care for him until it was time for you to come in during the afternoon.

At some points while at home, you swore you could feel the portrait above the stairwell giving you daggers as you carried Charlie up to his room, Grace’s glistening, painted eyes boring a hole into your soul. Tommy hadn’t been the only one affected by her sudden death though, as the whole family was facing his wrath lately.

Your marriage had been a quick business arrangement ordered by Polly. She grew tired of Tommy’s antics, thinking him finding someone else would help him move on despite Grace’s death being only 6 months prior. And so here you were: a diamond ring and signed paper here, a nice dress and a family portrait of fake smiles there, and nothing but tense conversations and awkward attempts at affection getting you by until now.

Tommy was never one for love, at least not with you. You knew that deep down the only time that he seemed to love you was when he fucked you on the nights that the business became too much for him. When he’d come home needing some sort of release that wasn’t opium or whiskey, something to keep the memories of Grace and the shovels at bay, if only for a little while.

As the clock down the hall drew nearer to noon, you finally got Charlie down for a nap and got ready for work, a tear threatening to flow down your cheek as you put on your makeup, thinking about how much you had loved him secretly, even before Grace died. You’d always steal glances at him and would stay after to help him with paperwork, and it didn’t take long for Polly to know. She hated Grace, seeing as she betrayed them years before, almost destroying the family. But she’d always see the way you interacted with him and the rest of the boys and Ada, and how you immediately helped with Charlie when things got too much for Tommy. She loved you and the rest of the family did too, seeing as you were one of his most loyal assistants, and so it only made sense at the time that maybe you would be the perfect fit for Tommy. You never wanted his wife dead, and you could’ve gone your whole life just admiring from afar like all the other women would do on the streets, but you didn’t think you’d end up how you were now. Taking the place of his dead wife, being a step-mom to Charlie, and trapped in a loveless marriage to the man you felt so strongly towards.

As you blotted your tears away, you quickly finished up your makeup. Attempting to look somewhat alive despite your loneliness inside. If it wasn’t for this union being for “the sake of the business” as Tommy harshly put it when you’d overheard him talking to Polly, you’d be out finding someone who actually loved you, but in your twisted turn of events this was what had to be done.

The nanny came by the room, giving you a sympathetic glance as you tightened the belt around your waist that was accentuating your dress, you mentally kicking yourself for wearing such a revealing dress without thinking about the cold weather outside.

“I’ll have Charlie for the rest of the day as usual Mrs. Shelby, and I’ll let the maid know to straighten up and the cooks to start prepping for dinner later.” She said softly.

“Alright, thank you...truly. I...I mean we don’t know what we’d do without you all. I know Tommy doesn’t say much...but thank you for all your work.” You say, giving her a small hug. She was your only friend in the house it seemed. She’d help you when you’d drink yourself into a crying fit when Tommy was off on business, and she’d listen to you when you needed reassurance on if it was the right choice by marrying him.

“If he didn’t love you, you’d be sleeping elsewhere my dear. He’ll wise up, just give him time.” She would say, helping you back to the bedroom on those cold, dreary nights.

As you left the insanely large house you drove out onto the gravel roads, nearing Small Heath gradually. Your heart raced as you parked the car along the black dirt roads, the smell of burning wood filling your nose as the sounds of pounded metal filled your ears from the warehouses in the distance.

Other women and children would move out of your way as you swiftly walked down the narrow sidewalks and through the doors of the shop. The sound of papers flipping and typewriters clicking as you made your way silently over to your desk that was next to Tommy’s office.

“Good afternoon Y/N how was the drive?” Polly asked sitting near you. You sighed and looked at the stack of papers on the desk as you answered.

“It was fine. Quiet as usual up until arriving here of course.” You said with a small smile. You hoped she wouldn’t see the silent pain behind your eyes but you knew she did because she lingered there for a bit longer.

“Trouble at home?” She asked, her eyes flicking to Thomas as he sat in his office smoking a cigarette and looking at his own stack of papers.

“Always.” You said shortly, getting out your own cigarette and lighting it.

“Am I doing something wrong Pol? I’ve tried my best to be there for him. To be there for Charlie. To try to love him even though he couldn’t give a damn about me...” You said looking out at the lobby of the shop, wanting to be anywhere but here.

“You’re doing the best you can my dear. I’ll have a talk with him.” She said, an annoyance in her voice as she said the last part.

“Thank you.” You said as she walked off, knocking hard on Tommy’s door. You could see in through one of the windows, but you willed yourself not to look at him as your anger bubbled up inside you.

The stack of papers in front of you seemed like a mountain at the time, business proposals, unsigned license agreements, betting numbers, bank statements, anything and everything under the sun needing to be signed by the end of the day, and so while you heard Tommy shouting at Polly, you poured yourself into your work.

After awhile you saw Polly leave in a hurry and so you got up, following her out the door with your coat draped over you.

“Where are you going Polly?” You asked, the chilled air almost taking your breath away.

“To the Garrison. I need a drink. Do you care to join?” She asked.

“I thought you’d never ask.” You said sighing in relief as you both hurried into the bar. The familiar scent of smoke and whiskey filling your nose as a few people sat inside drinking their woes away.

“What will it be?” The bartender said.

“I’ll have a gin and tonic, what about you Y/N?” Polly said.

“Whiskey.” You said eyeing the bottle you’d grown to love only because of your bastard of a husband.

“He’s already rubbed off on you. Whiskey was never your drink till now.” Polly said sipping her gin.

“Well, now it is. Needed something strong enough to deal with his bullshit.” You said, knocking back a shot.

“What did he say when you talked to him?” You asked, bracing yourself for the worst.

“He told me that he’s wanting to move you and Charlie back here to Small Heath due to the recent gang problems.” She said.

“Is he mad? He can’t up and move right now! Why would he do that? He doesn’t care about us! I practically see his son more than he does.” You said, grabbing the bottle from behind the counter.

“Hey that’ll cost ya!” The bartender said. You and Polly shot him a look and he glanced at the huge rock on your finger.

“Oh...I apologize Mrs. Gray...and...Mrs. Shelby. It’s on the house.” He said before turning to serve the other patrons.

“Why would he fucking move us down here...if he doesn’t love me why would he want to protect me? I was just a fucking business deal after all...right?” You said, a tear slipping down your face as you knocked another shot back.

Polly glanced at her drink as she let you continue.

“He told me he wants to keep you safe because he loves you, I know my nephew well enough to see that he does love you, he’s just god-awful at showing it recently.” Polly said.

“Well when he wants to actually care about me more than his dead fucking wife then let me know.” You said before taking the shot glass and whiskey bottle and walking to one of the booths in the back of the bar.

Polly sighed and finished her drink, watching as a blonde haired man came over to your table and sat next to you, draping an arm around your shoulder.

The shots slowly made their way into your system as you poured yourself another one, barely acknowledging his presence at first.

“Why are you alone and wearing a dress like that with a ring around ya finger aye? Old husband getting ya down?” He asked, whiskey tainting his breath as he spoke in your ear.

“How about we go somewhere more quiet. I can love you like he couldn’t.” He said. You knocked back a couple more shots and smirked as you awkwardly ignored his advances and made flirty conversation to pass the time. Polly stiffly turned back to her drink, striking up a conversation with the bartender as you soon let your hand wander down the mans chest as he got closer.

You felt wrong for making moves on him as he wasn’t your husband, but at this point you had no love to really lose, or so you thought.

Just as you and the blonde haired man started making out, you heard the doors to the Garrison fly open, revealing your emotionless shell of a husband. His stoic face looking towards the bar to see Polly nursing another gin and tonic and chatting up the bartender.

“Thought you were working, Polly.” He said annoyed.

“I am. I’m trying to work on your love life because you won’t. I love you but you don’t know a good thing until it’s gone.” She said, her words stinging him a bit as he thought of Grace.

In the distance he heard a familiar giggle and his head shot up, his eyes glaring at the woman he desperately came to love, wearing a revealing evening dress, kissing and giggling with some blonde haired worker from god knows where.

“Is that what you call working on my love life Polly?” He said pointing to you in the distance, your face burning as the now half-drunk bottle of whiskey coursed through you, helping you not to have a care in the world as you giggled at the mans joke as he reached for your waist.

“If that’s what gets you to see reason, then yes.” Polly said sipping her drink as she watched you two making out.

“As much as I want to I can’t. I’m sorry...I’m married...” You said breathlessly, stopping his hands from traveling further.

“He doesn’t have to know.” He said.

You looked up through your slightly blurred vision to see the familiar peaked cap of your husband getting closer to your table.

“He already does.” You said, a nervous edge to your voice as you watched everything unfold before you.

Tommy yanked the man off you by the back of shirt and spun him around to where he was facing him.

“What are you doing here messing around with my fucking wife aye!?” He said pushing him roughly into the wall before landing a fist to his jaw.

The man smirked, spitting out blood right onto Tommy’s shirt before speaking.

“I was just about to do what you couldn’t.” He said.

You cringed and took another shot as you heard the sound of the mans jaw break as Tommy’s fist landed on his face once again, rendering him unconscious.

As you watched in silence, he grabbed his cap and cut a gash in his face that was deep enough to need stitches.

“Tommy stop!” You yelled, struggling to get up and stumbling towards him, nearly knocking him over. His breathing was ragged as you clutched onto him, his arms gripping your waist and steadying you.

“I-I can explain...” You said wiping a stray tear from your eye as you felt your mascara streaking down your face.

“Explain fucking what Y/N!? That you wanted to fuck him? Am I not enough for you? You had to go find some random man just because I’m busy?!” He said shouting loudly.

You shakily stepped forward looking him in his eyes which were burning like blue flames from jealousy.

“If I did why would you care? Just say it Thomas...you don’t fucking love me! You love Grace, and no woman will ever amount to her even though she’s six feet under. You’ve never loved me...and you just expect me to act like everything’s fucking fine, but it’s not!.....Hell! I even see your fucking son more than you do, now how is that love Thomas? If you don’t love me just say it. Because I’ve loved you as best I could...and I’ve loved you long before that. If you did love me, and I mean actually loved me...then this wouldn’t have been a “business deal” it would’ve been a proper fucking marriage!” You yelled, throwing your shot glass on the ground, watching as the glass shattered into a million sparkling pieces on the wooden floor.

He stood there silently as you stumbled off towards the restroom, shooing Polly away as you closed the door behind you and locked it. You practically collapsed on the floor sobbing as the cold tile soothed your burning skin, the room spinning the longer you laid there.

“What are you going to do Tommy?” Polly asked as she eyed him from her seat at the bar.

“I’m going to try to get my wife back. It’s not a fucking business deal anymore Pol. Never was. You think I didn’t notice the whispers from you and the lads when she’d leave the room? About how she liked me and how we’d be good together? You think I didn’t notice her eyes watching me as I worked despite being married to Grace? Of course I loved Grace but she’s not been the easiest fucking thing to get over. I know I’ve been a terrible husband, I can see it in Y/N’s eyes every day...I can see her withering away from me as well as Charlie and it kills me inside...I’m just not the best at loving people and you know that...ever since Grace died it’s like a part of me has too, but I’m going to get that back. I have to.” He said, his eyes glistening a bit as he headed for the restrooms.

He knocked lightly and waited before calling your name, panic coursing through him as you didn’t answer.

Without a second thought he shoved his shoulder into the door, busting the lock and stumbling in to find you on the floor barely conscious.

You mumbled something unintelligible as he crouched down and picked you up, bringing you out to his car as Polly followed quickly behind.

“My god where are you taking her?” She yelled over the start of the engine.

“Home. Tell the lads I’m taking the day off.” He said before speeding off towards the house.

Once there, he carried you to the lavish bathroom that connected to your all’s bedroom and sat you down in a chair. He quickly got a cold rag and wiped it on your forehead and around the rest of your face trying to keep you conscious. You perked up slightly at the cold sensation but were quickly overcome by the all too familiar feeling of nausea, your body cursing you as you stumbled towards the toilet almost blindly. Tommy held your hair back as best he could, waiting for what felt like ages for you to stop getting sick. With a weak hand you flushed and stumbled up, shakily brushing your teeth and staring at your tragic reflection in the mirror as Tommy kept an eye on you from the door frame. He held a pair of your sleepwear and one of his t-shirts in his beat up hands.

You looked at him as you grudgingly took the clothes from him, changing into them carefully as your balance was still shit.

After wrestling them on, you went straight for the bed, barely acknowledging Tommy’s presence as he watched you carefully.

“I’m going to bed Thomas. You can leave for all I care.” You said wrapping yourself in the plush covers and closing your eyes.

“I’m not leaving Y/N.” He said as you heard his footsteps softly move towards the bed. The mattress shifting a bit as he climbed in next to you, letting you snuggle up against him.

“You should be at work.” You mumbled.

He stroked your arm lightly as he laid there, an unlit cigarette dangling from his lips.

“I’m not going anywhere. Not while my wife’s a mess.” He said.

“Why should you care?” You asked, sleep threatening to take over.

“Because I love you, Y/N. I’ve just been terrible at showing it. To both you and Charlie. I love you and I’m not going to lose you. I can’t lose you.” He said quickly, knowing you’d fall asleep at any moment.

“Tell me you love me when I wake up then, because I won’t remember this.” You said, listening to his heartbeat as you let the darkness overtake you.

“I will, I promise.” He said, gently kissing the top of your head as he laid there with you, hoping sleep would take him too.

Tag List:

(If you’d like to be added/removed from the Thomas Shelby tag list, just shoot me an ask/message)

Main Tag List

@msbzowy, @nofckingfighting, @aranoburns, @sighonahurricane, @ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes, @gaytommyshelby, @wowjeena, @fifty-shadesof-tommyshelby, @inglourious-imagines, @thebloodyshelbys, @tsolomons, @blinder-secrets, @reveparade, @shelby-fanatic, @ta-ka-shi-ma, @psychkunox, @peakyxtommy, @captivatedbycillianmurphy, @dreamwastakenx, @lovemissyhoneybee

[buckysflannelpajamas]

Bleeding Hearts

Summary: Being Tony Starks daughter has its pros and cons. One of the pros being you get to live with your best friends, the Avengers. One of the cons you will soon find out is having to deal with the one and only, James Buchanan Barnes...

Takes place during the imaginary time after Civil War where everyone love in the tower and goes through to Endgame.

TRIGGER WARNING: victim blaming (though he doesn’t mean it) and mention of attempted r*pe and past attempted s*icide

Beep

Beep

Beep

Ugh. What is that sound? It’s disturbing your sleep.

Slowly, you open your tired eyes to find yourself in a dull grey room. Your heartbeat starts to pick up when you realize this isn’t your room.

Where are you?

The sound of the beeping quickens as your eyes race around the room, trying to figure out where you are. Dull grey walls, uncomfortable bed, heart rate monitor, IV bag… you must be in a hospital.

Shit, what happened?

You can’t help but notice that the IV is connected to a needle in your vain. Your heart rate continues to rise. Fuck, you hate needles! You move your hand to pull it out, only to be stopped by a large hand gently grabbing yours.

“Woah, woah, woah. You're ok, just take it easy.” A cold hand presses your shoulder gently to get you to lay back down.

“Bucky?” You recognize the voice immediately. Why are you in a hospital and what is Bucky doing here? Just as the questions enter your mind, fuzzy memories of the night start to drift back.

Arthur, the car, Bucky, the ambulance.

Oh shit, what did you get yourself into.

“You’re in the hospital.” Bucky starts. “You, Uh, had a ruff night.” Seeing that you’ve calmed down, Bucky carefully takes his hands away.

You don’t say it, but deep down you don’t want him to take his hands away.

“I know, I remember… well, kind of.”

“That’s good. You must not have gotten too high a dose.”

“I’m so fucking stupid.” You groan to yourself.

“You got that fucking right.” Bucky agrees.

Wait… what? Wasn’t he being nice to you last night?

“Excuse me?” You question, unsure you heard him correctly.

Bucky takes a step back from you, starting to pace. “I mean, what were you thinking?! Leaving the compound unsupervised!”

“I took a few steps outside! I didn’t think it would be a big deal!” You defend. It was one thing if you were upset at yourself about what happened, but Bucky has no right to be.

“Well it was! You’re fucking lucky that it was just some scumbag actor that took you and and not a group like Hydra! Also, seriously? Hasn’t your father ever told you to not take your eyes off your drink?!” Bucky continues to rant. “Or maybe you thought it’d be fun to be rebellious and try whatever drug he offered you?”

Your mouth hangs open in shock. How dare he! How dare he have the audacity to suggest that you were stupid enough to just take drugs from a stranger!

Bucky opens his mouth to yell again but you interrupt him. You’re tired of taking his shit and letting him do all the talking.

“Fuck you!” You shout. “How dare you suggest that I would be stupid enough to take drugs from a stranger! And don’t get on to me about watching my drink. I assumed that I wouldn’t get drugged in my own house while surrounded by Avengers!” As you rant you decide that it was time to put it out all in the air. To let him know how wrong he is about everything. “Also, what’s your fucking problem with me? You say I'm too happy and nice, well so is Steve and I don’t see you screaming at him? And by the way, I’m not this happy-go-lucky person all the time! New flash Barnes, everybody has shit they deal with, some are just better at hiding it than others!” Your fists are clenched and your chest is heaving as you continue to yell. “You wanna know why I have daddy issues? Cause I tried to fucking kill myself a few years ago! And my dad, instead of letting me recover and go to therapy in the medical wing of the tower, he sent me off, knowing how terrified I was of doctors and hospitals. And to top it all off, he didn’t even visit, make a phone call or even write me a fucking letter! Not to mention that he hates that I do art and has never once said he is proud of me! I mean, he likes that fucking spider kid more than me!”

“Y/n I’m sorr-“ Bucky starts.

“I’m not done.” You cut him off. “I’m sorry about what Hydra did to you, I really am. But everyone has their own shit. The rest of us just chooses not to take it out on other people.” You sigh, finally done.

Bucky stares at you silently, unsure of what to say. You had just dropped a bomb on him and he was thoroughly unprepared.

“Get out.” You tell him quietly, too worn out to yell anymore.

Bucky doesn't put up a fight, simply nodding. He walks slowly to the door, hesitating before leaving. “I’ll tell Tony you’re awake…. I’m sorry y/n.”

As soon as Bucky closes the door, you let out a sigh as you fall back against the bed, already wanting this day to be done.

~

You're sitting up, sipping on the small juice box the nurse had left by your bed while flipping through the channels on the hospital TV.

The door to your room creaks open, Tony coming from behind it.

“How ya holding up kid?”

You shrug, setting the juice down and muting the TV. “Fine I guess… the juice here is good.”

Tony walks further into the room. “That’s good.” He takes a seat at the end of the bed.

A few moments pass, neither of you knowing what to say. The tension in the room is thick and one of you would have to be the first to cut it.

“Dad.” You finally speak. “We need to talk.”

Tony sighs, an awkward half smile making its way to his face. “Why do I get the feeling that you're not referring to last night?”

“Why-“ your voice cracks, your emotions weighing heavy on you. “Why did you send me away?” You start to tear up. “Why didn’t you call or visit?”

Tony clears his throat, clearly feeling the same emotions bubbling up as you. “I didn’t know what else to do.”

This pisses you off. “You could have had me stay in the hospital wing of the tower! You could have been there for me instead of sending me off like some kind of unwanted burden!” Tears start to leak out of your eyes. “Just like my mom did.” You mumble, voice barely above a whisper.

You had never met your mom, didn’t know anything other than that she was one of Tony’s one night stands. She never cared about you, didn’t even care enough to name you. She simply left you in a basket in the lobby of Stark industries with a note claiming you were his daughter.

Tony moves right beside you, taking your hands in both of his. “You can’t possibly think that.” His voice is strained and you can tell he’s only moments away from crying.

“What was I supposed to think!” You cry.

Tony’s lip quivers as he speaks, two heavy tears falling down his cheeks. “I made a mistake.” He admits. “I thought you would do better being around people you could relate to. That’s why I sent you off.”

“And the reason you didn’t call or visit?” Your shaking hand wipes tears from your eyes.

“When- When you found out I was sending you to a facility upstate you told me you hated me. That you never wanted to see or hear from me again.” Tony pauses. “I thought I was doing what you wanted.”

Then it hits you, it was all your fault. If you had never said those terrible things to your father he may have come to see you.

“I’m so sorry.” You whisper. “It’s all my fault.”

“No, hey, don’t do that.” Tony pulls you close, letting your head rest on his shoulder as you hug. “It was my mistake, I shouldn’t have listened to you. It’s my fault.”

“Dad, you think everything’s your fault.”

“So do you.”

You both laugh lightly. Like father, like daughter.

Tony pulls away from the hug, just enough that you can look him in the eyes. “I just need to know… why’d you do it kid?”

You sigh, frowning. “It’s not anything in particular… it’s just, in the moment, you feel so sad and worthless that you think the only way you can escape the pain is to- is to end it.”

“I’m so sorry you ever felt like that.” Tony apologizes. “I should have known.”

You shake your head. “You can’t fault yourself for that. I hid it well, you couldn’t have known.”

“Still, I just-“

“Let’s not not ruin the moment with ‘ifs and buts’, ok? We’ve finally got it out in the open and now we can move on, right?” You suggest.

Well you worked out most of your problems. He has still never told you that he’s proud of you, but that’s an issue for a later date.

Tony nods, wiping the tears from his eyes. “You’re right, and besides, you have a visitor coming soon.”

You look at him in confusion. Who did he tell?

Before you can even ask, the sound of pounding feet coming running down the hall and into your room.

You resist the urge to roll your eyes.

Peter Parker. And he’s brought flowers.

“You told him?” You angrily whisper to your dad.

“He was worried about you when he didn’t see you at the tower.” He whispers back.

“You could’ve-“ you start to speak but cut yourself of as Peter makes his way over to you.

“Hey Peter.” You sigh. Your feelings towards the boy were complicated. On one hand, you resent him for his relationship with your dad, but on the other, the kid was really sweet and hard to dislike. He was almost like an annoying little brother to you.

“Hey y/n! I’m sorry about uh…” he trails off, not sure what to say. “I brought you flowers!” He changes the subject. “I didn’t know what kind you like so I got you a mix!” He smiles brightly.

You smile back softly, taking the vase of the artificially dyed flowers and setting them on the bedside table.

“Thanks Pete.”

Tony smiles at Peter. “That’s nice of you kid.”

Peter shrugs. “It’s no big deal, I mean, that's what you do for people in hospitals right?”

You nod absentmindedly as you read the card attached to the vase. You furrow your brows as you read it aloud. “Congratulations, welcome to motherhood…”

Both you and Tony give Peter an amused look.

Peter blushes, slightly embarrassed. “I didn’t read it.” He lets out a soft, awkward laugh.

You smile at him genuinely as you chuckle. “Don’t sweat it kid… Now, does anyone know when I can get out of here? I’m dying for a cheeseburger.”

“I’ll let the doctor know you're up and we can go from there.” Tony gives you a pat on the shoulder before getting up from the bed and moving towards the door. “Com’ on Pete, let's give her some privacy so she can change.”

Peter nods, following after your dad. “Later y/n!”

“Later Pete.”

~

3rd person, Bucky’s perspective

“I fucked up.” Bucky admits as he walks into his shared apartment.

Steve, from the couch hears Bucky come in. “Bucky what the hell happened? Is y/n ok?” He jumps up from his spot and makes his way over to Bucky.

Bucky furrows his brows. “Haven’t you talked to Stark?”

“No.” Steve replies. “The only person I’ve heard from all night is you when you told me that y/n was in an accident and that you were at the hospital.”

“She…” Bucky pauses, debating on how to relay the information. “She left with this guy, some actor… he had drugged her and took her to a motel.” Bucky notices Steve clench his fists.

“Did he-“

“No.” Bucky responds immediately. “I got there just in time.”

Steve sighs, visibly relaxing. “Thank goodness. How is she doing?”

“She's fine. She’s pissed at me but fine.”

Steve groans. “What’d you do now?”

“I yelled at her...Basically said it was her fault.” Bucky admits.

“Why the hell would you do that?!” Now Steve is pissed. “She’s been nothing but nice to you and all you do is treat her like trash!” Steve starts to rant.

“I know, ok! I messed up and now I don’t know what to do!”

Steve rolls his eyes. “Why do you even care? You act like you hate her.”

Bucky groans. “I don’t hate her! Look, I don’t know why but I can’t get her out of my mind. She’s so sweet and perfect and beautiful! I guess I was just pissed because I knew I could never have her! So acted like an ass to make her hate me so the feelings would go away. But it didn’t work, and I only yelled at her this morning because I was so upset with myself for not being there to protect her sooner.”

“You’re an idiot, Barnes.”

“I know.” Bucky sighs. “And I want to fix it. I don’t expect her to ever want to be with me after the way I’ve been acting, but I’d like to at the very least let her know I’m sorry.”

“Maybe start with saying you’re sorry.”

“I don’t think she's going to want to listen to anything I have to say.”

“Then write a note.” Steve suggests. “And attach it to a pack of sour gummy worms.”

“Gummy worms?”

“She loves them. Give her some of those and she might accept your apology.”

Bucky nods. “Anything else I should know?”

“Well she loves Star Wars…”

~

When Bucky heard y/n had called the Avengers to a meeting, he was surprised to say the least… and a little nervous. Was she going to demand he be kicked out? Not that he will put up a fight, he knows he deserves it.

“Any idea what this is about?” Sam, who is sitting next to Bucky at the table in the meeting room, asks.

Before bucky can respond, y/n walks in, not an ounce of unease shown in her presence.

The Avengers all stop murmuring, giving y/n there full attention.

“I’m sure you’re all wondering why you’re here. I’m not going to pussy-foot around it. It’s going to come out to everyone eventually so I thought it would be best that it comes from me. Last night an actor at the party drugged me, took me to a motel, and attempted to rape me.” She doesn't even hesitate to say it. “I’m fine, he was stopped in time and arrested. No, I will not be talking about it further or answering any questions. If you’re upset, talk about it to someone who’s not me.” She pauses, looking over the faces of everyone in the room, excluding Bucky. “You’re all dismissed.”

Y/n leaves the room, leaving the team to sit and absorb the information just dropped on them.

Before y/n can get too far away, Bucky follows after her, rushing down the hall to catch up to her.

“Y/n wait!”

“I already said I’m not talking about it.” She continues walking down the hall.

“I’m sorry!” Bucky shouts, before she is too far away to hear him.

Y/n surprisingly stops and turns around. “You’re only sorry because you pity me, not because you actually mean it.”

[suphoshi]

THE SUN, THE MOON, THE STARS | Byun Baekhyun x reader

PART I | PART II

Genre: Best friends to lovers AU, angst, some fluff, v v small amount of smut (i mean nearly non-existent, but def there)

Warnings: Horrible coping mechanisms (lots of drinking ((small mention of underage drinking)), making out/sex with strangers), possible trigger for depression, assault

Baekhyun holds the sun, the moon, and the stars in his eyes. How could he ever expect you not to love him?

-

click here for part I

PART II

Word count: 10,617

“Are you coming to the party next Friday?”

Sehun caught you walking home later that week and insisted on walking with you despite all protest. You had been avoiding everyone again, but most of the time Sehun slithered his way into your life regardless. He was like a parasite.

You met him through Baekhyun, another failed experiment at getting you a boyfriend or any other friend besides him. You did like Sehun, liked how sweet and caring he was, how soft. But still… it didn’t work out in the long term. He knew your heart only bled for one person.

“I didn’t know about a party.” You said, lifeless. He matched your pace even though his long legs usually had him speeding past you.

“Baekhyun’s having a party, like a coming home thing and he’s gonna play some of his music for everyone. You should come. He would want you there.”

You stopped in your tracks and he didn’t notice for a little while, turning back a few feet away. You stared at him with accusation. Annoyance.

“How would you know what he wants? We don’t even talk anymore. Why would he want me to come?” You spat out with frustration. Sehun sighed and walked closer, hands tucked in his pocket.

“I just... I know him. And I know he would want you there, okay? You’re his best friend.”

You laughed at that and felt your eyes roll without a thought, arms crossing over your chest.

“No. I was his best friend, past tense. We’re both different now. And he’s moved on.” Your heart stuttered as you spoke, but you pushed past it with a stoic face. “I’m fine with that, so don’t bring it up again.”

You moved to brush past him, but his hand wrapped around your wrist, pulling you back to face him.

“He asked about you.” Your world froze over at his words. He looked at you with such sincerity that it made your nerves tremble. “In all of his letters to me, he always asked about you, but asked me not to tell you.”

You couldn’t peel your eyes from his, waiting for the punch line to his very obvious joke.

It never came.

“He did. He always asked if you were okay. If you were eating well. If work was too hard. He asked about everything.”

Standing there on the sidewalk with Sehun, it felt like you were suddenly you were thrust into some type of twilight zone and your chest was aching again. Confusion flooded your features as you looked at his hand still wrapped around your wrist, tears filling your eyes.

“W-why would he ask about me? Huh? Why? Why couldn’t he just talk to me?” You asked and he shrugged, shaking his head.

“I don’t know.”

That look on his face, too genuine, too caring – It made you want to scream. Made you want to run and hide and never come out again.

“Can I… see them?” You asked despite your mind’s screaming protest. Sehun stared at you for a minute, as if he realized he may have made a mistake before nodding.

An hour later, you found yourself in the middle of Sehun’s room reading Baekhyun’s letters. He was being honest when he said he always asked about you. He talked a lot about training and writing music, adding lyrics here and there for Sehun to discuss with him. You smiled reading them.

‘Your love was what I needed to breathe

A rope to pull my two hands above water,

I was drifting in the middle of an ocean

And you were the heaven that let me live’

When you got to the end of each letter, your heart broke piece by piece.

‘How’s ____ doing? Don’t tell her I’m asking; she’ll get upset cause I’m not writing her myself. She looked sick the last time I saw her. Is she losing more weight? Make sure she eats well. She’ll get sick if she loses anymore weight. And tell her to stop drinking, she drinks too much. Hopefully, she doesn’t hate me. I’ll write you again next week.’

Sehun had left you to read them on your own, and you were grateful. Tears fell down your cheeks at an alarming rate, heartbreak overtaking you with each scratch of his pen.

‘If she won’t listen, maybe you should take her to the hospital. She’s going to go into liver failure, I’ve never seen someone drink like she does. Or call her mom, she’ll lock her up for sure, then I won’t have to worry about it. I’m kidding, but can you please keep an eye out for her? Don’t let her drink alone anymore, she deserves better than that. Hey, next time, will you send me a picture of her? Not for anything serious, I just… kind of miss her smile. Kind of. Anyways, I hope she’s doing well. And you, too. Send me a picture. See you soon.’

You smiled at the thought of Sehun sneaking a picture of you while you were together. Baekhyun hated when you drank, but the only thing you did when you were with Sehun was drink. Hopefully, he got one before you were two bottles deep at dinner and acting like an idiot.

You folded the letters back up and put them in the box they came from, opting out of reading anymore. Putting your heart through more useless turmoil didn’t seem necessary.

“You okay?” Sehun asked when you exited the room. You let out a deep sigh and sat on the couch beside him. His eyes remained fixed on you, and it was hard to even form a coherent thought over the racing questions you had flying through your mind.

“I can’t believe you wouldn’t tell me.” You mumbled. It was the only thing you could think of. The only words you could form after the bomb he had dropped.

“Don’t be like that. He was my friend before you were.”

You rolled your eyes, turning to fix your stare on him. You were confused. Lost. Not a single thought coming to mind on what to do.

Sehun gave you an encouraging smile, pinching your cheek lightly. “Come to the party on Friday. He’d want you there.”

You stayed silent for a long time, waited for Sehun’s hand to drop back down before you stood up and walked towards his door in silence. It was while you stared at the deep cherry wood that you made your decision.

“Text me the details.”

-

The following Friday came too quick, not giving you enough time to mentally prepare for seeing him again. You had made a vow to avoid him for the rest of forever, but now that didn’t seem possible. He must have missed you to ask about you; must have wanted to write you himself but didn’t. You wanted to know why, had to know why. It felt like if after that night, you couldn’t answer that question, your life would be over. Your friendship. Your love. You both deserved the chance to explain.

Sehun had texted you the bar he was performing at earlier that week and you arrived early so you could take a couple of shots to boost your confidence. Not ideal, but effective.

Baekhyun’s solo career had started to become popular over the years, after a lifetime of hard work and failures, it seemed like he was making it. That’s why it didn’t surprise you to see a few reporters standing outside. You had always been proud of him, but since he was finally getting the recognition he always wanted, it was a new form of pride. Sometimes though, you wished you could go back to the days when he played music just for you, too shy to show anyone else. Those were your favorite days. Him biting his lip nervously while he watched you put his headphones on before pressing play. The smile he beamed when you started nodding your head along with the beat. You loved that he could smile at you like that, even if it was years ago. Sometimes you would nod your head along without listening, just so you could see him smile.

When you made it inside, you found yourself engulfed in a crowd of people, body relaxing immediately with the bass of music that rattled your bones. It was funny how when you were a teenager, that same loud music used to scare you beyond belief. Now you relished in it.

You sent a text to Sehun to let him know you were there and shoved your way to the bar, ordering a drink. The smooth alcohol settled your nerves almost instantly, body relaxing despite the anxiousness you had been feeling earlier that day.

When Sehun found you thirty minutes later, his hand wrapped around yours and he led you to the booth he had secured. Everyone seemed familiar there, Chanyeol, Sehun, and a few other friendly faces. They all smiled at you, kissed your cheek, patted your head. It was a normalcy you didn’t realize you were missing.

“Baekhyun!” A shouting voice diverted your attention from your drink, looking up to find the man of the evening. He looked so perfectly Baekhyun that it made your heart swell up. His hair was short, styled differently than you were used to, but you loved it. The smile that settled on your cheeks was involuntary.

He smiled and greeted everyone, eyes settling on you for only a few seconds, a look of confusion and something else you couldn’t pinpoint ringing through. It was gone just as quick though, nodding his head and turning the conversation back to everyone else. You needed to talk to him. Needed to tell him about the letters, ask what they meant, needed to tell him that you missed him too.

Your heart sank when Yuna came a few minutes later. She clung to his side like a koala, arms wrapping around his while she smiled up at him like he was her sun. As if she could see everything inside of him like you did, all of his constellations, all of his galaxies. When she pressed a kiss to his cheek, you noticed the way he glanced towards you, but chose to ignore it, downing the rest of your drink.

You hated that she was perfect, all long legs and sparkling eyes. You suddenly felt stupid in the dress you had bought that morning. Small. Insignificant.

All too quickly, Baekhyun was saying goodbye to everyone, catching you by surprise. You thought you had more time. When his eyes landed on yours, you waved at him, forcing a smile to your cheeks despite the desperation you felt in your chest. Your questions, they would have to wait until later.

It was the strangest thing. His eyes were angry. Frustrated. Concerned. Upset. All at you. Like you had done something wrong. Like you had made a mistake, but as quick as it was there, it was gone. Again. Forever hiding his feelings from you. You watched his back as he walked away and wondered for a moment if you should leave. Wondered if you should run and never look back.

You didn’t.

You had always loved watching him on stage. Loved that everyone else loved him too. He worked so hard to tell people his stories through songs and his voice was so pretty. When he finally came on stage, you danced with Sehun, Chanyeol screaming from across the table like he was in a stadium. It was nice. Normal.

Everything was normal.

You were happy.

When he announced his last song, you whined, drinks making your head swim as you remembered the way Baekhyun used to ruffle your hair when he heard you whine like that, laughing at your pouty face, pinching your cheeks. The memory alone made you smile, but it was quickly stolen back when he began speaking again.

He called Yuna to the stage to sing with him and your heart sank back into reality. He was never yours. Not really. She sang so pretty. You almost wanted to close your eyes and be carried away by her voice. But you didn’t. You couldn’t look away. Couldn’t tear your eyes off what was happening in front of you. They sang their love story, one you never got to see.

‘You’re a part of me I can never lose’

Everything hurt. You watched the way they smiled at each other. Watched how Baekhyun kissed her knuckles and she blushed. She intertwined her fingers with his and you wanted to vomit. Wanted to sink into the ground so deep that the earth’s core enveloped you in its flames and made the pain stop. Made everything stop.

As the song was ending, Baekhyun reached into his pocket and you already knew what he was reaching for. You knew it like you knew the color of the sky. The grass is green. The ocean is blue.

‘I think he’s going to propose’

Your hands were shaking, eyes wide and full of tears at the scene playing out before you.

‘I just want you to be happy’, words you said just a few days before echoed around in your mind and with every inhale of air that came into your lungs, you wished your heart would just stop. He got down on one knee and you felt the crippling heartache take over your limbs, tears filling your eyes and falling in a matter of seconds.

Sehun grabbed your hand but you felt suffocated, the world drowning you from the inside out, so you pushed your way out of the booth, feet pushing forward despite the crowd of people around you.

“Yuna, will you-”

His voice was cut off by you slamming your hands over your ears, trying to desperately shove your way out. The sobs you tried to hold in until you made it outside were slipping now, heart pounding in your chest.

Marry? Why would he marry her? Sure, she was perfect, she had a good job in the same industry as him, she was pretty. But marriage? It was too permanent for you to handle. You shouldn’t have come. You should have run when you saw the turmoil on his face and never looked back. Never ever looked back.

There were too many people and you tripped on someone’s shoe, falling to the ground as your own shoe came off. Someone’s hands grabbed your arms, pulling you up and you saw through wet eyes that it was Sehun.

“Are you okay?” He asked and you shook your head, a sob escaping your throat while he pulled your head to his chest.

“I can’t breathe,” you choked out. “I can’t breathe.”

The panic you had been encasing for weeks, the anguish, the sorrow, it all ripped through you right then and there, a tornado turning towns into desolation, leaving you in ruins.

Sehun took your other shoe off and dragged you through the crowd, hand wrapped around yours so tight that you were sure it was the only thing keeping you from dissolving into nothing. Once you made it outside, he walked you to his car and buckled your seatbelt while you let it all go. The choked back sobs came out freely, tears pouring down your cheeks while you clutched at your chest. This was not how life was supposed to be. Baekhyun was supposed to marry you, he promised when he was 10 that he would after you beat up a kid who called him ugly. He promised over and over again that he was yours and suddenly he wasn’t. Suddenly he promised someone else forever and how was that fair? How was any of it fair?

You looked out the window after a few minutes and saw Sehun arguing with someone, only realizing once he walked back to the driver’s side that it was Baekhyun. He stared at you through the window, eyes worried. Scared. Sad. As if he cared.

You looked away, leaning your head back against the seat as the next sob wracked through you. You had never felt so alone.

Sehun took care of everything. Walking you up the stairs to your apartment while you moved on autopilot. Unlocking the door, taking off your shoes, hanging up your jacket. He opened the door to your room and guided you inside before standing back uncomfortably, hands stuffed in his pockets. He didn’t know how to handle you like that. How to hold you while you cried, how to hold you when you were broken, no one did. No one except Baekhyun.

The thought alone sent you in a rage, eyes locking on the picture you had kept up on your nightstand. Despite everything, all of the time you had spent apart, you never found the courage to let it go. A photo of you and Baekhyun from years before, you on his back, arms wrapped around his neck. He was smiling. You were smiling. You remember being so happy. So warm. It was a dream. It was always a fucking dream.

You moved in a blind fury, lifting it up and throwing it at the wall while a scream paralleled the shattering glass of the picture frame. It wasn’t enough. You shoved past Sehun and into the kitchen, took out your first aid kit and emptied it into the trash. Grabbed the overwhelming amount of tea cups from your cupboard and threw them at the wall one by one because all you could think of when you saw them was tea and honey and the way he was supposed to heal you and never ever break you.

You sobbed as you threw them wildly, ignoring the way glass cracked under your feet as you tried to find a way out of the heart shattering disappointment that washed over you like a hurricane.

You turned to grab more and found the cupboards just as empty as you wished to be. Knees falling to the floor, head falling into your hands while you cried, rocking back and forth; you begged for God to take it away. Begged him to leave you empty forever if it meant you could avoid this pain.

Sehun’s arms wrapping around you brought back a sense of reality that you weren’t prepared to face. The ground beneath you shook as you let him pull you into his chest and hold you like a child, pet your hair, hush your cries despite the fact that it felt like you wouldn’t ever stop.

Hours passed before you picked yourself up off the floor, untangling yourself from his arms. You moved into your room and stared at yourself in the mirror for far too long, wished you were anyone but you. At the sight of your lip quivering, eyebrows scrunching up like you would cry again, you moved to the bathroom.

You stood in the shower until the water ran cold and even then, you sat there until your fingers were wilted and your limbs were shaking. Turning off the faucet was a task on its own, let alone climbing out onto the cold tile. Your limbs felt like cement as moved, leaving a trail of water behind you. You felt pathetic wrapping yourself in a dry towel, somehow finding more tears left to cry as you exited the bathroom. Pathetic when you saw that Sehun sat just outside the door, waiting for you. Pathetic when you pulled one of Baekhyun’s t-shirts over your head. Pathetic when you dragged Sehun into your bed and asked him to hold you.

He rubbed circles into your back, apologized over and over for something that wasn’t his fault.

“He was supposed to love me.” You whispered.

He didn’t reply.

When you woke up the next morning, he was still there. You laid in silence next to each other, staring at the ceiling as if all the answers were there. As if you could fix every problem, solve all of life’s riddles with the secrets trapped in the chipped white paint.

“I think I’m gonna go home.” You said softly and Sehun looked at you.

“Home? Like... Home-home?”

It wasn’t something you had considered ever since you left.

Life wasn’t always simple with Baekhyun, but he made it seem like it could be. Maybe that was why you loved him so deeply. Your family was toxic and manipulative, always trying to force you into a life you never wanted, a high-class lifestyle that came with devastating cost. You never wanted it, and your parents despised you for it.

Your father arranged for you to marry a man before you made the decision to leave, gave you no options, left you no room for an opinion.

‘He’s over 40 years old dad, I’m 21. I can’t marry him- I won’t.’ You remember the finality in your tone – the severity, but somehow, he found it amusing, a chuckle escaping him as he stabbed a piece of food, chewing on it like an animal. He made you nauseous.

‘You will if I say so. That’s what you do for family. You yield.’

It never occurred to you until then that your father never loved you. Never cared about you more than an inheritor to a business you never wanted. A life you never claimed. You’d always thought that if it came down to it, he would choose you before anything else, but suddenly it was crystal clear. Money is power. Respect. Assets. You gave him none of that. Why would he have ever loved you?

The first few times you met him, the man he wanted you to marry, he was nice. Took you to dinner, bought you gifts, sent you encouraging messages about school and work. You would never be attracted to him, never have kids or sleep with him, but you thought that you could get away with marrying him despite that. To make your father happy. To get him off your back. It was nice for a while.

After a few months though, he started taking you to bars with his friends and getting drunk, trailing his hands over your hips like you were a possession. Like he was staking his claim. It made you feel small.

You went to a company dinner with him one night and he pressed you against a wall, vodka breath dripping down your cheek where he kissed you. You told him to stop, but he wouldn’t. He gripped your arm tighter, kissed your neck, traced his hand down to the hem of your dress where he hiked it up despite your pleas.

You were able to wriggle your hands free from behind you and clawed at his face before he finally backed up enough for you to run.

When you made it home, you cried to your father, told him everything that happened, and he didn’t once ask if you were okay. Didn’t apologize. Instead he looked you up and down and chuckled, eyes turning back down to the paper he was reading.

‘Well look at how you’re dressed. How would he know what your boundaries are?’

Embarrassment crept up your cheeks. Shame.

You never knew what it was like for your father to love you. Never knew what it was like for him to care or worry. But somehow, his words still left a hole in you that would never be filled.

You cried in your room for hours that night. Alone, afraid of what life held for you.

It was almost midnight when there was a knock at your window. Baekhyun always came in through the window. Your parents hated him, hated that his parents weren’t as successful as them, hated that he was your friend and hated that they couldn’t get rid of him, no matter how hard they tried.

‘I’ve been calling you for hours, don’t you check you phone?’ His voice came out harsh initially, but he paused, spotting you at the bottom of the bed. You looked up at him, mascara running down your cheeks, hair a mess, a disaster in a cocktail dress that wished life had been different. Wished she had parents who loved her, wished she had anyone at all that loved her.

‘What happened?’ He asked, stepping closer and kneeling down beside you.

The concern that radiated off him warmed you from the inside out, and you wondered if you deserved it. Wondered if you deserved the gentleness in his touch, the kindness in his voice. Your own parents didn’t care about you, why should he? Why should anyone? You watched his eyes scour your tear-stained expression, watched them land on the bruise that was forming on your arm, and you sobbed.

His hands grabbed your face, thumbs brushing your tears away and you shook your head, unable to speak. You simply cried harder at his silent understanding. He sat down and pulled you into his lap, hugging you so tight that you couldn’t fathom the thought of him ever letting you go. Your hands gripping his hoodie, nose buried in his neck, he breathed life into your soul. Made you feel safe.

He let you cry into his shoulder until you fell asleep, rubbed gentle circles into your back, let you stay pressed against him like that for hours, past his legs going numb, past his arms stiffening and growing tired where they held you. When he finally built his energy back up, he lifted you off the ground and laid you in bed. You gripped his hand tightly as he pulled the covers up over your shoulders and stared at him with wet eyes, fear gripping your vocal cords.

‘Please don’t leave me alone…’ you whispered. His eyes. He really looked like he loved you. He climbed in beside you without hesitation, pulled you into his arms and held you without contempt. Without shame. He ran his hands through your hair, whispered the sweetest things to you all night until you fell asleep again.

You moved to Seoul the next day. Left without a goodbye, without a second glance back. Your parent left you cruel messages, made you feel like garbage and promised you would come crawling back, but none of it mattered. You had Baekhyun, so it was okay. Your parents didn’t care about you, but he did. You knew he did. So, you got a job at a marketing company and worked your way up the ranks, rented the cheapest apartment you could find, made life work so that you could stay with him. When Baekhyun finally debuted, you were there, just like you had always been. You were there when he failed, when he failed again, when he cried, when he laughed. You were always there, through everything. He was supposed to be your forever person.

Now he was someone else’s.

You looked back at Sehun and smiled sadly.

“Yeah... Like home-home.” You mumbled and tears filled your eyes again.

He looked at you like you were broken, pulled you into his chest like a child, kissed the top of your head and told you everything would be okay when it so obviously wouldn’t. “I’m sorry, ____…”

Everything felt so wrong. Empty.

-

Over the next week, you made your way back home more, visiting your father at work, learning a lot about the company. It was the lidocaine that your soul needed.

Sitting around the dinner table with your parents was so strange. It was like sitting with two strangers. You didn’t know them, and they certainly didn’t know you.

“I think you should move home this weekend. Stop with the back and forth. You can come back and work for the company, I’m getting old and you need time to learn the ropes.” Your father said without looking up from his plate of food. You felt the uncertainty fill your veins and rested your silverware down, looking at him.

“I’m not sure yet. I really like where I’m working right now, so I want to be sure before I leave.” You replied, dissecting his expression.

Indifference. Frustration?

He sighed and looked up at you, a feigned smile taking over his features while he pretended to hear your concerns. Why did everyone feel the need to lie to you?

“Well now that Byun Baekhyun is getting married, I was hoping you would have no further ties.” The way your mother said his name sounded like she was spitting out bad food. Of course, she knew. It was her life’s work, minding everyone’s business but her own. She prided herself in it.

You looked towards her and met her cold stare; the same one you had been seeing since you were a child. It reminded you of something old, a memory you had nearly forgotten. You were sick. Stomach screaming, body shaking with pain, you threw up on your pink fluffy pillow and somehow found the strength to walk to their room. You held your hand up to the doorhandle and almost turned it, but fear froze you. She had yelled at you that day, told you to stop being such a bother. Such a nuisance. You almost walked in. Almost told her that you didn’t feel good and needed help, but her eyes. Cold and scary, empty. You couldn’t move.

The housekeeper found you passed out on the floor an hour later in front of their room.

Appendicitis. You sat in the hospital for days getting antibiotics after surgery.

Baekhyun came every day. Your parents never did.

“Sorry to disappoint.” You mumbled and she scoffed.

“If you’re sorry, then stop being a disappointment.” She said before taking a sip of her wine.

“Come home, ____,” you looked back towards your father, his firm words coming before you could say anything in response to your mother. “It’s what’s best for the family.”

You stared at him and debated the idea of coming home. It wasn’t like you belonged anywhere else anymore. Like you had any other responsibilities to keep you away from the one you were born into. At least there, you would eventually have control, some say in the way your life would go.

The ringing of your father’s phone snapped you out of your thoughts, shaking you back to reality, and you cleared your throat, standing up from your seat.

“I should get home. It’s late.”

They didn’t walk you out. Didn’t ask when you would be back again. Didn’t ask if you had a way to get home.

You walked to the bus stop a few blocks away and laid with your head pressed against the window, flashing lights nowhere near distracting enough for the ache you felt in your heart. Once upon a time, you thought someone cared about you, but that was no longer a truth you could live with. Would you ever belong anywhere? Would anyone ever really want you?

“Let’s have ice cream before bed!”

You watched a little girl tug on her mother’s hand with a bright smile and couldn’t help but wonder what that must have felt like. To have a mother who held your hand. A mother you could smile at.

“Should we?”

The little girl nodded her head wildly and you smiled involuntarily. It was sweet. But it was also bitter. Left you feeling incomplete. Unfulfilled.

You got off of the bus a few blocks from your apartment, not ready to be home yet. Instead, you found yourself wandering into a convenience store. It was late and cold, and no one was out at that hour, but still. At least it wasn’t as quiet as being in your apartment.

You bought a few bottles of soju and drank them outside, eyes focused on the cement ground to keep yourself from looking at the sky. You couldn’t bear to look at the stars for a while. Couldn’t bear to see them for the reminders they brought, the never-ending sorrow.

You drank for hours alone, until the world felt a little lighter. Like you could breathe again without feeling so desolate.

When you pushed up from the table you were sitting at, you had to wait a few minutes to regain your balance, but once it returned, you walked with no set course in mind. The sound of the river had your heart thumping, so you walked closer, hands stuffed in your pockets, chest warm and fuzzy with excitement.

The twinkling stars that blurred into Han River left you feeling magical. Like thousands of tiny fairies floated under the moonlight, dancing, and twirling to a song you couldn’t hear. You sat down on the grass and watched, wished you could be a part of that magic so that you didn’t have to feel so alone.

You laid back and found yourself staring at the clearest sky you had seen in weeks. Fairies danced up there too, shooting back and forth, putting on a show just for you. You found yourself smiling, cheeks warm and red. You wished and wished, as hard as you could, that they would let you dance with them, suck you up into the sky and hold you close, never let anyone leave you feeling lonely again.

Your phone started buzzing in your hand and you answered it blindly, holding it up to your ear while your other hand reached up towards the sky.

“Where are you?” Sehun’s voice bled through your phone, but it did nothing to break you from your conversation with the stars.

He sighed on the other end. “I’ve been waiting at your house for an hour and you’re not here. It’s 1am.”

You smiled at the sky again and felt the moon coming closer, ready to answer your prayers and take you home (home?)

“Does your mom tell you she loves you? Your dad?”

He disregarded your words and you heard him sigh in the background.

“Are you near the river? I hear water, where are you? It’s freezing out, you should come home.”

The concern that radiated through his tone made you smile even bigger, but somehow the hollowness continued to rattle around inside of you.

“Mine have never told me they love me. I don’t think anyone has ever told me they love me.”

The realization had your throat swelling up, childish tears falling down the sides of your face while you let your hand fall back down from the sky.

“I don’t think…” Your face crumpled, lip quivering, a cloud blocking the view of your moon. Your stars. “I don’t think anyone loves me.”

Sehun began speaking again, but you couldn’t hear him over the screaming in your heart, the ache in your chest. You hung up his call and cried at the midnight sky, sobbed to your hearts content, and still found the tears to continue crying. It left you exhausted. Drained. Empty.

Your vision seeped black, and somehow, the cold air comforted you, made your eyes feel so heavy. It blanketed you in indifference and welcomed you like a friend.

You didn’t know how much time passed when your eyes opened again, voices shouting in the distance, but it was still dark out. Cloudy skies still covered your view of the moon, but it hardly mattered anymore. You felt cold, uncomfortably so. When did you start shaking so hard that your bones ached?

The shouting grew closer, but you couldn’t speak. Couldn’t move. You felt frozen in place, hands buried close to your chest, legs stiff as ice.

When you heard a familiar voice, you wanted to ignore it. Wanted to disappear behind the clouds with the stars and never come back. But it was his voice. The voice that belonged to the only person you loved. He shouted your name, and you craned your neck towards his voice. He was far away, but you’d recognize him from a different planet.

“Baekhyun…”

He saw you at the same time that you saw him, your whispered voice carrying yards away, and he ran to you. Ran like his life depended on it.

He stooped down on his knees above you, pulling your face into his hands, eyes frantic and worried.

“What are you doing? What happened?!” He pulled his jacket off and covered you up, arms wrapping around you and pulling you into his lap. He was shouting the same questions over and over and if you weren’t so cold, you would have told him to be quiet, but God, you were freezing.

Sehun ran up behind him seconds later, but it was Baekhyun who picked you up off of the ground. You closed your eyes and time seemed like a dream, the walk to the car, your head on his lap, his hand in your hair.

When he carried you into his house (you knew it was his because he and Sehun had argued about it on the ride there), he took you straight into his room and laid you in his bed. His sheets smelled like home (home?), and that meant too much, brought tears to your eyes, but you didn’t object.

It was still too cold, and your toes felt numb, arms wrapping around yourself tightly with a whimper. Baekhyun looked back and quickly said goodbye to Sehun before closing the door and walking back to the edge of the bed. He looked down at you for a few seconds, looked at you shake, and felt his heart break at the tear that slid past your closed eyes. He pulled off his sweatshirt and climbed into the bed beside you, covering you both up with his blankets before wrapping his arms around you and pulling your head into his chest.

Being that close to him for the first time in so long, it was too much, but still not enough. To smell him, to feel his hand on the back of your neck.

“Why did you do that? Huh? Why would you sit out there like that? You could’ve died.” He said and you felt sick to your stomach, eyes squeezed shut, hands against his chest.

“The stars…” you mumbled mindlessly; exhaustion overtaking you. “I miss your stars.”

Despite everything being so wrong, it still felt right. Being in Baekhyun’s arms felt right. Like the earth finally met her sun after eons and got to feel it envelop her from the inside out. Worlds colliding.

You drifted off for who knows how long, heart at ease, but woke up feeling completely different. The alcohol no longer settled in your bones. The cold no longer numbed your senses. Your eyes fluttered open and you were met with the sight of his chin. His golden skin dripping down his neck, your hands gripping his shirt, as if he were still yours. As if you had the right to cling to him forever.

It was the second that the thought hit you that you found his arms around your waist too heavy. His breath too close. You tried to peel yourself away, but his arms didn’t yield, just pulling you closer in response.

“Don’t go. Not yet.” He mumbled and your throat burned with tears. Didn’t he know how destructive this would be? How damaging?

“I can’t stay.” You choked out, voice thick with panic and dread. He pulled back some to see you and his hand rested on your cheek for too long. His eyes raked your face, and you searched his expression over and over, pretending not to see the guilt in his stare. The devastation.

Tears slipped down your cheeks and he wiped them away just as quick.

He took a deep breath, and it came out too shaky. Too honest.

“Please stay.” He whispered, and you shattered.

You met his gaze again and you saw all of the stars in his eyes that you dreamed of as a teenager and he let you in. Let you dance among the starlight like it was the only place you belonged.

Cassiopeia.

Hydrus.

Orion.

Andromeda.

It was everything you dreamed of.

You cried harder when he kissed you. Cried when you realized, those were the gentle lips you had dreamt of for years. His fingers pressed against your cheek, hair brushing against your forehead. He fit with you so perfect and it broke you. Left you like ground out glass that would never be the same again.

He pressed you onto your back and pulled your shirt over your head, ignored the blush in your cheeks when he kissed your neck. You moaned out his name over and over and he praised you for it, rewarded you with his touch each time. You prayed he would never stop.

He was just as soft as you imagined. He held you, kissed you, told you over and over how perfect you were. How beautiful.

When he let you on top, you couldn’t help but smile at how needy he was. You kissed his jaw, his neck, the small freckle just above his clavicle. He whined when you stopped, and you couldn’t help the laugh that fell from your lips.

He didn’t let you stay on top for very long.

He took you with his mouth pressed against yours, breath hitching, eyes glazing. He mumbled sultry words in your ear (‘you feel so good’) and you loved him. You would love him forever.

After you both reached your peak, he tucked you safely back into his chest and you loved that you could hear his heart beating his chest. Loved the way he tangled his hand in your hair and kissed your forehead. He breathed you in and you did the same, hand on his waist, heart in the sky.

You drifted off in his arms again and didn’t even notice him get up. Slept for hours despite the cold beside you and when your eyes finally opened again, finding him gone, you kind of expected it. You pulled your clothes back on and tried to ignore the chill in your bones because, everything was okay. It should have been okay.

You tip toed out into the hallway and watched him in the dark, him leaning against his couch, hand rubbing his face while he spoke hushed words into his phone.

You leaned your back against the wall away from him, stared at the gray paint in front of you and wished you could feel shocked. Surprised. Hurt.

“I’m sorry, I just can’t come tonight…” he said softly, and you wanted to leave. Wanted to avoid any more of his words, his lies, protect what shreds of heart you had left, but you couldn’t. You couldn’t move. Couldn’t think.

“Yuna don’t be like that. I can’t come because I’m busy. I’ll come tomorrow.”

How funny, you thought. That your heart could still bleed even though you had nothing left to give. You felt embarrassed, ashamed, and you couldn’t even blame him. You knew he wasn’t yours. He would never be yours.

“Yes, I promise. Bye.”

You could see him out of your peripheral vision, the toss of his phone on the couch. Running his hands through his hair. The deep sigh he let out while he looked up at the ceiling.

You wished things had been different. Wished you were nine years old again, running around your room and playing dragons, fighting off demons that made sense with the boy who breathed sunlight.

When he turned to walk back to the room, you could imagine the shock on his face when he saw you in the shadows of the hall. The worry. The regret. You stared at the wall across from you like you could hide in it, camouflage yourself for years and never come back to reality.

He stepped in front of you, hands gripping the sides of your face, lips pressing to yours and kissing like he actually meant it. Like you weren’t already gone. He pulled back after a few seconds and watched the way you withdrew. The way the light left your eyes when it had been right there an hour before.

“Let me explain.” He started, and your hands wrapped around his wrists.

He looked so desperate that you almost wanted to listen, but you couldn’t. Fear. It gripped you from the inside out and you couldn’t find the courage to hear him. You couldn’t handle the build-up, the continuous let down, the never-ending cycle where only you ever ended up losing.

It had to stop.

“No.”

You pulled his hands away, let them fall back to his sides, chose to stare at his chest to avoid the tears in his eyes. Panic rose in his features, but he couldn’t speak. Eyes darting back and forth as if he could search yours for an answer. As if he could build a place for himself inside you the way you continuously tried and failed to do the same with him.

“I’m done.”

It was amazing, that you still had tears left to cry, despite the emptiness that seeped back into your soul. You clawed you’re way back to empty. Back to the nothingness that creeped around you like an old friend because it was better than the heartbreak. The devastation.

You left the apartment without and word, and he didn’t follow.

The way the wind blew through your hair reminded you that you’re small. A tiny insignificant piece of the universe that meant close to nothing, but it just didn’t feel that way. The crack that spread through every fiber in your heart felt as though it mirrored in the way the wind broke through the trees. You felt like God knew how broken you were, and he let Mother Nature play out your heart break for all of his angels to see. Taught lessons on how to grow roots deep in the earth so they couldn’t be knocked down as easily as a stupid girl whose heart felt too much for a boy who couldn’t give her everything.

You wiped the tears from your cheeks and looked up the sky, but the stars weren’t there to greet you anymore. It was just darkness left, mirroring the way you felt, and it was okay.

The stars didn’t exist for a girl who deserved nothing.

-

Two weeks passed by like it was nothing, and you impressed yourself each day. Get out of bed, shower, brush your teeth, go to work, eat, sleep. You followed each step as if it were your religion, never stepped out of line, never tried anything new. You stopped talking to your friends, blocked everyone’s calls, everyone’s texts. You even stopped drinking. Stopped dreaming about your future, stopped smiling.

It just… it was better that way.

That’s why the world felt like it was ending when you left your apartment one morning and your father sat outside of your building in his car. You didn’t want to see him. Didn’t want to talk to anyone or explain your absence, especially to someone who didn’t care, but it was unavoidable.

If you didn’t talk to him then, he would hassle you forever.

You got in the car after a few minutes hesitation and the driver immediately took off down the road. An hour later, you sat with a napkin in your lap at a too fancy restaurant for 10 a.m. on a Wednesday. You nudged your salad around with your fork and wished he would speak. Get to his point so you could get back to your schedule, your new normal.

“Come home. You can pack your things and I’ll have someone pick you up tomorrow.” His voice came out harsh. Careless. He didn’t seem to mind the hollowness in your cheeks. The dark circles under your eyes. It was only ever about the business. Family. “I let you have your fun for two years and you haven’t accomplished a thing besides embarrassing yourself as a groupie for an unsuccessful musician with no talent.”

You didn’t want to argue. Didn’t want to talk about any of it. So, you stayed quiet, eyes trained on the plate in front of you without answering him.

“I talked with Mr. Ahn a few days ago and he’s still willing to marry you. I think it’s what’s best for us.”

Your fork clattered on the glass as shock jolted through your limbs and you looked up at him for the first time. “Mr. Ahn?”

You could practically feel his lips on your neck again, the sight of his glassy eyes that didn’t care how much you said ‘no’. How much you begged him to stop. His fingers digging into your arm, pulling up your dress.

He hummed in response and you couldn’t help the scoff that left you. He looked up for just a moment, and the absolute lack of empathy that resided there made you sick.

“After what he did to me, you think I would still marry him?”

He smiled as he cut into another piece of his steak, but it didn’t meet his eyes. “I think I mentioned it before, years ago…” You stared at him with amazement and wondered how you got there. How you got through life with a parent like him, a soulless human being with no care for anyone but himself and his money.  “for family, you yield.”

The feeling that sunk in your chest was more upsetting than his actual words. Disappointment. Pity. You didn’t feel sorry for him, but for the ten-year-old girl in the hospital with no parents. No gifts. Your heart broke for her, her loneliness, and you wondered how you let him control your life through that. How you ever let him take you over and make you into the lonely mess of a human being you were now, when that ten-year-old girl deserved so much more.

Anger raged through your stomach at the memory of your young eyes in the mirror, the emptiness you always felt.

‘I don’t think anyone has ever told me that they love me’

You blamed him.

The fake laugh that took you over came in waves, red filling your vision like a fog, the feeling that you would explode any second nearly crippling. You stood up from the table and grabbed your bag, no more restraint to keep you there. No more ties.

“There’s a reason why we’re so different, ____.” He spoke, halting your steps as you turned away. “You’re weak. Always have been.”

You turned back and found it shocking that he actually looked at you. Saw you. You shook as you faced him fully and spoke even though you found it difficult to breathe.

“I’m weak?”

He nodded and wiped his lip with a napkin, looking out the window beside him. “I knew it as soon as you brought him home. Byun Baekhyun.” Disgust filled his features. “Like a lost puppy you had found in an alley. I knew you would abandon us for him. Neglect your responsibilities.”

You hated that he knew his name. Hated that someone so dark knew that someone so light existed. Someone so loving and kind and caring.

“You fall too easily. Too unrelentingly. You yield for something as minute as love but overlook the importance of family, the only bonding thing on earth.” He paused, looking at you again. “You are weak.”

His words were pointed spears, aiming to take you down, ruin you from the inside out, but it didn’t hurt. Didn’t leave you crumbling like he thought it would. Like you thought it would.

“Yielding for something you believe in, something you love-” you smiled though a tear slid down your cheek, courage you’d never felt in front of your father before surging through your words as you took a shuddering breath. “I have never felt weak with Baekhyun. He held my hand when I cried. Kissed me when I felt like dying. Made me laugh when I thought I would never laugh again. When I’m with him, I can see every star in the galaxy, and he has never made me feel as small as you do. He has never made me feel like I was just a pawn, a character in his story, as if I don’t have my own. So, don’t you dare say that my love for him made me weak.” You wiped the tears from your cheeks and stared at him resolutely, gaze unwavering. “My love for him is the only reason I survived the hell you put me through.”

You turned to leave, but paused, looking back at your father one more time. “Don’t ever come near me again.”

You watched him stiffen, brows furrowing, fists clenching.

That was the last time you ever saw him.

-

It was Sehun who picked you up down the street, let you sulk in silence on the way back to your apartment. You sat in front of your building for far too long, not ready to be alone, but still not ready to speak.

“Baek-”

You cut him off immediately, rocks in your throat “Don’t say his name.”

Your heart ached. Beat with trepidation, hesitancy, as if simply existing was too much for you to cope with at that moment. Your breathing grew heavier, eyes burning.

“Your parents made him push you away.”

The world reset.

The cars outside slowed down and moved in reverse, rain started falling against the car, beating lightly against the windows, mirroring the silent tears that fell down your cheeks.

You turned to look at him and felt dread settle in your bones. “What?”

His expression grew darker, hand clenching around the steering wheel as you tried to make sense of what he had said.

“In eleventh grade. They called him over to your house and threatened to uproot his life. His family. His music. All because they knew you would never leave him if he didn’t let you go.”

Your eyebrows scrunched together, pain ripping through you like a knife, bleeding you dry, sinking deeper and deeper as the world began catching up to you.

Suddenly everything that made no sense, made perfect sense. The years when he would hold you and keep you safe and brush away your tears in comparison to the recent ones, when he left you alone, begged you to leave, always rejected your advances. The years you had spent with him holding you at arms-length. The too often times he shut you out and pretended you didn’t exist.

You couldn’t breathe.

“He’s loved you since you were eight.”

His words were the last push you needed, peeling yourself out of his car and sprinting down the street as if you were flying. You couldn’t see faces as you passed them, couldn’t make out street signs or hear anything over the blood rushing through your head. His apartment wasn’t close enough, miles in between you and the words you needed to hear. The truth.

The rain fell upon you like in a downpour; wet slaps against the cheeks that masked the tears that flew down even faster.

When you sprinted up the stairs to his door, all you could hear was Sehun’s voice echoing in your head.

‘He’s loved you since you were eight’

You pounded on his door with no shame, yelling through choppy breaths. You called his name over and over, until your throat grew hoarse. Knocked for so long that your knuckles turned red.

“Baekhyun, it’s me! Please, open up!”

No response.

“Please, I’m sorry! Sehun told me, I’m so sorry!” You pressed your head against the cool wood of his door and covered your face with your hands.

‘Does he hate me?’

You turned around and sunk down onto the floor, let your knees fold into your chest so you could rest your head on them.

Memories of the days when Baekhyun would pull you into his chest and hold you there for hours floated through your mind and after all the years that you thought he was blind, you wondered how you could have ended up the same.

On your sixteenth birthday, Baekhyun woke you up with a kiss. You had wished for it the night before, always dreaming of your first kiss being him, but never expecting it would happen. He insisted over and over that he didn’t do it, but you could feel the press of lips against yours, like a ghost – there one second and gone the next. When you asked him about it, he laughed, ‘why would I kiss you?’.

The memory broke your heart. Not just for you, but for him. How terrifying it must have been to continue caring for you even from a distance when someone was threatening to destroy his life for it. Someone like your father. Your mother.

More tears filled your eyes and you sighed with embarrassment, exhaustion settling in as your shoulders sagged.

The beeping of a keypad had your eyes fluttering open sometime later and your heart fluttered at the feel of a hand running through your damp hair. You looked up with tired eyes to see Baekhyun and thought it was a dream, his had resting on your cheek. The overwhelming guilt took you over from the inside out and tears immediately filled you up you as he crouched down in front of you.

His eyes were so soft, so gentle, so loving.

You reached timid fingers out and touched his cheek, watched him lean into you without fear or resentment. You wanted him so badly, wanted him wholly and forever. Couldn’t you have him? Couldn’t life be simpler?

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You asked with tears dripping down your face, throat tight and forehead crinkled together.

His eyes shimmered with sadness, eyebrows furrowing together as he swallowed hard.

You were the most pitiful thing he had ever seen.

He hooked an arm under your legs and pulled you to wrap your arms around his neck before hauling you off of the ground.

You held onto him so tight, probably too tight, but he didn’t complain. He walked you straight to the bathroom, sitting you on the toilet and stripping your rain-soaked clothes off before replacing them with one of his sweatshirts. He took your hand and led you into his room, helped you into bed before climbing in beside you.

You couldn’t bear to look him in the eye. Couldn’t bear seeing his stars and fearing they would show his resentment. Scared that he would hate you the way that you hated yourself.

“Look at me.” He said softly, and you shook your head, heart beating too hard against your ribs, like it was trying to break free.

It was too much. It was all too much.

His hands found your cheeks, tilting your head to look up towards him. You bit your lip uncomfortably, tried to avoid his eyes for as long as you could, but it was pointless.

“Sehun told me.” You started, eyes flickering up towards his. “About you and my parents.”

He was expressionless. For the first time in so long, you couldn’t understand anything he must have been thinking.

You looked back down at his chest and tried to keep your composure. “I’m so sorry.”

He pulled your face into his chest and immediately hushed you, kissed your forehead. Comforted you when it was the last thing you felt you deserved.

“It’s okay. It’s not your fault.”

You grounded yourself with the sound of him breathing and told yourself over and over that it was okay because he was there. He was there and holding you and life made sense. This made sense.

When he pulled away, he brushed the tears from your cheeks and pressed the softest kiss to your lips. Sweet and tender and loving and Baekhyun.

“Don’t worry about the past. Let’s just worry about now, yeah?” He asked and you tried to understand, but you couldn’t.

“What if they ruin everything? What if my dad takes your music away?”

His smiled melted you, had your cheeks warming, heart racing. He reached soft fingertips up and brushed a few stray hairs out of your face. “You’re the only music I need.”

Your stomach fluttered with thousands butterflies that you’d buried years before at his words, the sparkle in his eyes. And then you remembered.

“What about Yuna?”

He sighed at your words, cinnamon breath washing over you like a welcome home. “I broke up with her the day before I found you at the river.”

Your eyes widened a little, confused. “But I heard you on the phone-”

“I was meeting her so she could get her stuff from my studio.”

A weight you didn’t realize was there lifted off of your shoulders and fluttered away.

His lips curled up into a knowing smile and you couldn’t find the heart to match it. All of the years you had spent blinded by your own love you couldn’t even see how much he was doing for you. How he was putting his life, his family’s life, in your father’s hands every time he picked you up while you were drunk. Every time he spent the night watching movies with you when he didn’t want to. Every night that he held your hand when life got too hard for you to handle alone.

“Hey,” his whispered voice called for your attention and you gave it willingly. When your eyes met his, your lip trembled. “can I tell you something?”

You nodded your head immediately, probably too eager.

He smiled and you watched the stars float from him. Watched them swirl with magic and pull you in the way they always did. Every milky way, every planet, every sun, every moon, all of the stars.

“I love you.”

They swallowed you up and welcomed you home.

Words you were hearing for the first time, swimming through your mind, from the only boy on Earth you ever wanted to hear them from. And they were real. And suddenly you realized it wasn’t the first time you had heard them before.

He loved you when you punched that boy in the face who called him ugly.

He loved you with tear stained cheeks in the hospital with no one left to hold your hand but him.

He loved your whiskey stained breath washing over him the first time you kissed him and hated himself when he pushed away.

He loved you with sand coated cheeks and messy hair crying in a sandbox at age eight.

“I’ll love you forever.”

His words settled into the deepest caverns of your heart, sprouted light and sunshine from your insides and suddenly, you were one of the stars he held inside. You were his sunshine in the same way he was yours. Type la supernova. Two stars colliding and bleeding their love for the entire galaxy to see.

Your fingers brushed against his cheeks, soft skin melting with the tips of your fingers. You pressed your chest impossibly closer to his and fell so far in love with the way his heartbeat matched yours. His eyes raked over you with curiosity as his hand traced down to your waist, noses bumping. You pressed your lips to his and felt your worlds colliding, not a single care for the destruction it could reap elsewhere.

Your parents didn’t matter. All of the longing, all of the tears, all of the heartbreak. None of it mattered when Baekhyun was there, and you swore that no matter what happened, you would fight for his sunshine. Through every lifetime, every hurricane, every avalanche that would try to break you, no matter what.

Baekhyun would be your galaxy until the end of time.

‘I’ll love you forever’

-

A/N hi. it me.

I really hope you guys enjoyed this story, my bby Baekhyun is literally one of my soul mates, I know that (he doesn’t know it, but I KNOW it ok? ok.), so I literally LOVE writing about him. Please leave your girl some messages/likes/reblogs, you guys left me so much love this last time I literally bragged to all of my friends how sweet you all are!! Thank you so much for supporting me, on the days that I feel low or less than, I come back and read through all of your comments and just fall in love all over with every single one of you. Have the best day y’all, I know you deserve it!!

[pars-ley]

Little Blue

Pairing: Jungkook x Female reader

Summary: A wild party ends with traumatic events for your best friend but as the night continues you realise just how much your support has always meant to him.

Genre: One-shot / Triggering topics / Friends to Lovers!au / College!au / Smut / Angst / Fluff 

Trigger warnings: Drug use (spiked drink but not with roofies) / Sexual assault / Attempted rape (no actual rape) / Violence (someone gets punched)

Warnings: Unprotected sex (you know the deal, wrap it up) / Finger foreplay / Ever so slight female cum play / cumshot (pearl necklace) / Language

Word Count: 5.5k

Notes: This was a request I had serious anxiety about and wasn’t sure whether to do or not but after some careful consideration, I decided to take a serious route with it and use it to bring awareness of these situations, the repercussions and the aftermath. I wanted to highlight how these topics (that happen everyday all over the world) can be, not just for male victims but all victims. That they are serious and wrong, no matter who the affected party are and that it is the victims choice how they deal with it after these types of horrible events transpire. Please do you not read if you think you will be affected by any of the warnings.

Here are some links for anyone who has been affected by the type of events that are written about in this story:

http://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/  https://rapecrisis.org.uk/ https://www.victimsupport.org.uk/ https://www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence https://www.survivorsuk.org/ Most of these are English links but they have a lot of helpful information in them. The last link is specifically for male victims.

Beta read by @unoriginal-username15432​ Thank you so much for all your help and confidence boosting when I came to you an absolute wreck, you’re amazing. Thank you to @ditttiii​ @moccahobi​ @sugarly-laysa​ @joheun-saram​ for reading and giving me feedback and encouragement to do this right. Your help and support means the world to me 😘

You watch as Veronica slips a little blue tablet into a drink, looking on as it fizzes wildly in a spiral, inside the see-through glass. 

I had no idea she was a pill popper. That would explain a lot.

Staring after her as she carries two drinks into the living room, beyond my view, swaying her hips confidently with a smug grin stretched across her full mouth. At least, you hoped the pill was for her.

Which poor, unsuspecting soul would be her victim?

You would have to keep two watchful eyes on her tonight, as much as the thought pained you of having her not only in your sights but in your mind, it was necessary to hinder whatever evil she was plotting today.

Hating Veronica was easy. Avoiding her was not. Not only was she an unremarkably, average student at your university, she also seemed to be at every party. That stumped you however, as you had yet to meet a single person who genuinely liked her.

Her personality consisted of bullying, harassment and being the worst spoilt princess. She always got what she wanted, one way or another and she enjoyed making other people suffer in the process.

"Hey, y/n?" Hoseok’s voice calls out, lighting up your dark thoughts. He has that ability, like a gift from the sun itself. Turning and raising an eyebrow in expectation at his question.

"Have you seen Jungkook?" He asks, closing the distance between you, bringing his sunshine smile and almost blinding you with it.

Shaking your head, you reply, "No, not for a while actually." That was unlike him, usually, your best friend was glued to your hip, you were inseparable, especially at parties like this. 

"We're betting which one of us will be the first to get laid tonight, we want him in on it." He babbles excitedly and with that he enveloped the sun with a dark cloud, as you’re reminded how clichéd horny, young adults can be.

Rolling your eyes, you down your drink, wincing at the burn as the fiery liquid cascades down your throat. You welcome the numbness that follows and it makes you forget the things you should be doing. The idea of Jungkook hooking up with anyone, now overtaking your gin hazed brain, turning your insides into snakes as they churn relentlessly in the pit of your stomach. 

"I can't find him anywhere. He didn't leave, did he?" He shrugs, continuing his alcohol induced thoughts when you don’t respond.

Swallowing the snakes down, keeping your secret down along with them. "I don’t think so, I'll go see if I can find him."

Hoseok nods. "Thanks." He said as he heads off with a grin, taking the sunshine and leaving you dulled by the implication of his words.

You survey the living room, only his face in your mind as you frantically scan the crowd.

With no sign of him, you head out and away from the noise that feels like a ruthless power tool, ramming itself repeatedly into your brain.

You climb the stairs, each step causing your anxiety to grow as a thousand images of what you might find race through your mind. Even when you blink, you can still see them behind your closed eyes, like a projector flickering a private tortuous movie just for you.

Checking the upstairs bathroom, you find a girl draped over the toilet, her head in the bowl, heaving the contents of her liquid stomach and unleashing it with force. Quickly closing the door, for your sake and hers, you continue onto the other rooms. 

Please, don’t let me find him in any of these rooms with another girl. Please, don’t let my dreams and wild fantasies evaporate instantly before my eyes.

You pray to yourself as you scan the empty rooms filled with darkness and focus on the ones with closed doors and invisible ‘no entry’ signs.

Muffling an apology to a couple entwined in the sheets and with each other, a mess of limbs and moans as you quickly retreat and continue on. Unease sitting in the pit of your stomach, growing with each move  you make forward, with one less room to check.  

It’s not until you hear muffled talking in one of the end rooms, the pit turns into a volcano, threatening to erupt. You listen at the door, hoping it wouldn’t be Jungkook’s voice you heard whispering through the grainy, wooden barrier between you. 

Your hopes were dashed, when you hear him cry out, “No, let me go!” You would recognise the sound of him in distress anywhere. Your body alights like a beacon at the sound of his anguish.

Flinging open the door you freeze, unable to move, unable to do anything except stare at the sight of him on top of a girl, her legs slither and wrap themselves tightly around his waist. 

The serpent of temptation. Who was Eden’s evil mistress?

Though the two of them were fully clothed, it didn’t cease to stop your heart from shattering into tiny fragments before the scene and send them darting into the concealed female beneath him. Your eyes burning a hole into her face, covered with her long, dark hair. When she blows it away you feel like all the air in your lungs has been driven out by a ghostly fist. 

She’s not supposed to be up here, she’s supposed to be downstairs where I was surveying her. Fuck. Veronica.

Veronica. Little did you know, her unfortunate victim, or poor, unsuspecting soul, as you deemed to refer to him earlier, was none other than Jungkook. Your Jungkook.

Confusion furrows your brow. 

He hates her, he hates her as much as you do, so why on earth would he be…

“Come on Kookie, you clearly want me. I can feel your dick, it’s hard as rock.” She whines at him, her tongue hissing sin into his ear with every word. The sound of her poisonous voice makes your blood run hot in your veins.

“What I want is for you to let me go.” He pleads with her, attempting to pull his body away from her but to no avail.

You watch, rooted to the spot. Confusion muddling your mind. 

The little blue pill.

Suddenly, it all makes sense and it’s now laughable at how blindingly obvious the answer is. 

“No. I want you.” She says hard and firm, her hands snaking under his hoodie, touching his bare skin with her scaly fingers, travelling down to his crotch.

“I don’t want you.” He retorts, through gritted teeth, struggling from the vice grip of her iron clamped calves and halting her hand before it can go further.

“Whats going on?” You hear a hoarse, wavering voice interject. When both their eyes land on you, you realise the words must have escaped your mouth.

Jungkook’s eyes pop when they see you, a deer caught in headlights. Panic stares back at you, alarmed and frantic.

Veronica's legs fall open onto the bed,  immediately releasing him from his cage.

He jumps up and over to you, faster than you thought possible, unless it was you who was moving in slow motion. "Y/n, it's not what you think…" He insists, arm on yours, face in your eye-line. Does he think that will stop your angry glare reaching her?  

"What I think…" You spit through gritted teeth, as you stalk around the bed. “Is that she’s trying to take advantage of you.”

“Then yes, it’s exactly what you think.” Jungkook says quietly, somewhere behind you. Your eyes are too full of red rage to notice if he’s even still in the room.

She slides herself off the edge of the bed, her bored expression doesn’t fool you. The fact she stands to square up to you, shows you foiled her plan of getting him to bite into that bittersweet fruit.

“This doesn’t concern you, y/n.” She growls, her hands balled up into fists either side of her taut body.

“Did you drug him?” 

You wait, watching her reaction. The way her eyes widen for a moment, clearly not expecting your question. The way she no longer meets your eyes with her glare, she can hardly look at you at all, and that’s all you need, to know you’re right. 

“W-what?” She stutters, attempting to pick herself back up after faltering.

“You heard me. Did you give Jungkook the drink with the pill in?” You take one last step towards her, your limbs tense and still like stone. Every muscle in your body coiled tight and ready to spring, hands shaking with rage at your sides. 

You were so close, her rapidly increased breathing fanned your face, the scent of vodka strong enough to make your eyes water.

Tensing her jaw as she grinds her teeth, her eyes narrowing in disgust at you. 

At me!?

“He’s not your boyfriend! And it was just Viagra, jeez! One little blue, that’s all. Why don’t you mind your own business!” She shouts, face red with anger as she shoves you hard on the shoulder. 

You steel yourself, so you were ready for the impact,with feet planted firmly into the carpet.

Better luck next time, bitch.

You reel forward, lunging at her, all your power driving your fist into her face. Knuckles smashing into her cheek, hard, as a loud thud echoes across the room. She falls backwards, landing against the bedside cabinet. 

Strong arms suddenly encase you, pulling you away.

“Y/n.” Jungkook gasps into your ear but you can hardly hear him through the pounding of blood in your ears, as anger threatens to overtake you completely.

“Drugging someone and trying to force them to have sex with you is attempted rape! You sick bitch.” You scream at her, violently fighting the arms that hold you, furious tears spilling out of your eyes and leaving wet trails down your cheeks in their wake.

“Let’s go, please y/n. I want to go.” He begs. Even though the temptation to pound her face into the ground is almost all consuming, you listen to Jungkook and let him guide you away. 

It’s not about me, it’s about him. He’s my priority, not her. 

You wipe your damp eyes with your shirt sleeve as you leave the room, hand entwined with his, as he leads you away, down the stairs and out of the house. Not a second glance to anyone. 

Once outside in the cool, crisp air you can feel your head start to clear, your fury dies down into fierce concern for your friend. 

“Hey, you ok?” You squeeze his hand.

He nods, looking mournfully at the ground. “I’m sorry y/n, I didn’t mean to ruin the party.”

Your heels stop in their tracks as you tug on his arm and spin him to face you. Cupping his cheek and forcing him to meet your gaze, “It’s a dumb party, they’ll be plenty of others. You have nothing to be sorry for. It’s her who should be sorry.” You practically growl. 

The corners of his mouth pull up in a slight smile. “Thank you for sticking up for me...and for being there for me, always.”

You squeeze his hand again and continue walking. “You want to stay at mine tonight?”

He nods, eyes back on the ground. 

You both walk along in silence for a few moments. He rubs roughly at his face and asks, “How did you know she drugged me?”

“I saw her slip a pill into a drink. She disappeared and I was looking for you, I put two and two together once I found you.” You look over at his solemn expression. “What happened?”

“She bought me over a drink, it was uncharacteristic but I thought maybe she was just trying to be nice. She left me to it, so I drank it. I started to feel...something, so I went upstairs into the bedroom and she burst in. She straddled me and pushed me onto the bed but when I rolled over to get up, she pinned me with her legs.” He scratches the back of his neck as you head up the stone steps in your apartment building. “I didn’t know what to do, I wanted her off me but I didn’t want to get physical and hurt her. It was kind of scary.”

Your heart felt heavy with empathy for him, like a rock slowly sinking down into the pit of your stomach, but with it rose the anger in your belly. 

If you didn’t hate Veronica with burning passion before, you certainly did now. 

She will pay for this. I will destroy her reputation and make her life hell, for Jungkook.

She should be arrested and rot in a cell, but it is not your place to do it. 

Besides, if you knew anything about Jungkook, you had a feeling he just wanted to move on and forget about it. You, however, could hold a grudge for a millennium.

You unlock your front door and head into the kitchen, relief of being back in your apartment floods you and flows like waves through your limbs.  

Jungkook heads off to the living room. 

As you boil the kettle, tea being the cure for every possible mood or trauma in your family, you peek out at him.

Where you usually find his muscular branches draped all over your couch, quite content, today was a different story. He sat awkwardly looking out the window, knee’s shaking and hands constantly wiping down his thighs, palms rubbing against the rough material. 

Once they’re done, you place the two steaming mugs of tea on the coffee table and join him on the sofa. Wrapping your arms around his waist and leaning your cheek against his shoulder, this wasn’t an unusual action between the two of you but today... he flinched under your touch. 

Gently, he removes your hands and slid himself to the opposite end, grabbing a pillow and cradling it in his lap. His eyes fixed onto your woven rug, as if it held all the answers he was searching for.

Although you tried not to let it get to you, you couldn’t completely ignore the pain in your chest from his rejection. Even if you wholly understood why. 

He’s been through something major tonight and he was bound to be feeling a mixture of emotions right now, it still hurt not to be able to comfort him like you yearned to.

“Y/n,” His quiet voice whispers into the silence. Cheeks flushed, knuckles white from his grip on the pillow, as he leans forward, burning a hole into your floor. You angle your body towards him and wait.

“How long...until...the pill...wears off?” He asks so quietly, you have to strain towards him to hear.

Heat inflames your cheeks as you’re hit with the realisation that Jungkook is sitting, at arm's length away from you, with a very solid erection.

You instantly clamp your thighs shut to try and halter the intense throbbing in between your legs. Your core ablaze with liquid heat, as you try to push the image out of your mind, now was, absolutely, not the time. “Um, I’m not sure.” 

He looks up at you, with eyes so intense they bore right into you, every thought you’ve had, every secret laid bare and for a moment you want to tell him, you want to tell him what you desire more than anything. But you break the stare and find yourself closing off once again.

“Why don’t we do something to take your mind off it?” You ask, not sure if your question was for his benefit or yours. “I could put on a film? Or we could play some video games?”

“Video games sound good.” 

You rush over to the playstation, grabbing two controllers and bringing the console to life with the tap of a button. 

Letting out your drawn-in breath, relieved to have something to distract you both from the penis in the room, you use this time of setting  up the game to calm your racing heart and try to extinguish the unwanted thoughts that have come to life in your mind. The what if’s and maybe’s are not a road you should be exploring, not if you wanted to keep Jungkook in your life.

Your turn to hand him a controller but as you do, your foot catches on the edge of the rug and you feel yourself falling forward, grabbing anywhere that you can to stop yourself from smashing face first into your hardwood floor.

You manage to grip onto something; his hoodie, whilst his hand, thankfully, finds your elbow and steady's you. 

Straightening yourself up and being only inches away from jungkook, you find yourself lost in a daydream of what might be. His scent swirled everywhere, fresh like the outdoors, as if you were standing in a meadow with the green breeze caressing your face and encircling you in a floral cage.

Your eyes roam up to his face. When his tongue shot out, wetting his mouth, you couldn’t help but pull in your bottom lip and pinch it between your teeth. All your blood raced down to your core, igniting a heat there that had you breathing hard. No, now is not the time to make your confession.

When your eyes finally met his, you were taken aback by the fever in them, as you stared deeper into his ebony pools, you could almost feel yourself drowning in desire.

He reaches up to your cheek and gently trails his fingertip down, stroking your moist lips. You let out a whimper, unable to hold it in, but still trying to keep your feelings enclosed in the prison you built for them long ago.

“Jungkook, I—”

His lips are on yours, smothering your important words down into a pit of lust but as your tongue dances hungrily with his, it’s not your words that feel important anymore. 

His strong hands are on your back, pulling you to him, warmth from his touch searing through your clothes but you want more, need more. 

You grab his top and pull him even closer, your wild mouths a clash of tongue and teeth. His solid erection pressed against your lower stomach is enough to make your core throb with violent need.

Is this right? Considering recent traumatic events, this felt wrong. This is not what this moment was supposed to feel like.

He pulls away, leaving you gasping for air and clarity. “Y/n, tell me if you don’t want this. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, I’ll understand.”

He searches your face vehemently, looking for the source of your hesitation.

“I do, I really do but are you sure you want to do this?” I press. “I want to be here for you, with everything that’s happened, I just want to make sure you’re ok?” You insist.

He meets your eyes again, pleading with you. “I want you, y/n. I need you. I don’t want to think about what happened tonight anymore. I’m ok, honestly.” He smiles at you, the sight pulls on your heart and has it doing wild somersaults in your chest. “I want this.” He brings his forehead to yours, the moment so gentle you wanted to hold him close and never let go.

You hesitantly lift your mouth to his; wondering and worrying that you’ve fallen asleep at Hoseok’s house party and all this will be a dream. His moist lips meet yours in a frenzy and as your core ignites like dynamite, slowly, you start to return his hunger. Easing yourself against him, you loosen into the kiss, your concern gradually falls away along with the walls you spent years building to hide your devotion for him.

His hands wrap around you, pulling you closer still. You break the kiss once again to lift his t-shirt off, over his head in one fluid movement, desperate to see and feel underneath. You run your hand over the smooth planes of his chest and the bumpy muscles down his stomach, moaning in sheer appreciation. 

Finally, you can show him what he means to you and how he makes you feel inside.

Your hands find their way to his belt, yanking the leather open and whipping it out of his belt loops, making a loud crack echo through the room. 

His eyes gawk widely at you, surprise glittered in them. His chest moving fast from his rapid breaths, as he closes the slight distance between you and fumbles with the top button on your shirt, giving up quickly and wrenching the material apart, buttons flying and tapping as they scatter the floor all around. 

His hands are on your breasts, massaging, tugging them out of your bra, cool air hitting them, making your nipples pucker into hard buds. He unclasps your bra with one hand, yanking it off aggressively.

“God, y/n.” He lets out a tortured whine. Before his mouth is around your nipple and all you can feel is warm and wet slowly sucking pleasure out of you. 

The noises that escape your lips shock even you. 

His hands run up the length at the back of your thighs, your feet coming out from under you as he carries you to the bedroom, with your legs wrapping tightly around his waist. 

Your hands finger through his silky hair, lips on his face, throat, whatever skin they can find.

Your back finds the bed as he climbs on top, towering over you, and all you can see is Jungkook. He glows like the large moon on an inky night, finding you and giving you some semblance of relief from the relentless darkness.

You're at the button of his trousers, popping it open and pushing them down his strong thighs with your feet. 

He gives you a lingering kiss that then trails quickly past your bare chest and down your stomach. 

Pushing your skater skirt up so it fans out across your ribs, he hooks a finger under the hem of your pale, pink panties and looks up at you with a questioning gaze. All you can do is eagerly nod your head in response, giving him permission.

He slowly peels away the lace that covers you, when the air hits you can feel just how wet you are, a coolness spreading across your exposed folds.  

This is it, everything I've fantasised about during lonely nights with wandering fingers or meaningless hookups with nameless men, picturing his face and his hands instead.

He moans, biting his lip as he stares at your most intimate area with insatiable hunger. 

His fingers sliding their way from your entryway to your swollen bud, the moment he touches it your body jolts with delight.

His digits slide into you before you have a chance to catch your breath, beckoning inside you, stroking the rough spot that sends shudders of pleasure throughout your body.

He sucks in a sharp breath with a hiss. “You’re so fucking wet, y/n.” He groans, jutting his hips against the bed. “I need you, so bad.”

He withdraws his fingers, making you feel empty and even more needy. Your body alight with electric lust and your heart aching with unspoken love.

What if this ruins everything? What if he’s only using me, in his current situation?...Honestly, do I really care? 

You didn’t. Not in this moment, watching him lick your arousal off his digits as he pulls out his generous erection. The tip pink and angry, begging to be touched and glistening with precum. 

He was your living fantasy and he was perfectly acting out every scene you’d created in your mind. 

You grip his big shoulders, fingernails making crescent moons in his skin, and pull him down onto you. Your legs wind around him, pushing him to line up to your slick entrance as his eyes boar hungrily into yours. 

He seems to hesitate for a moment, his stare searching for an answer to an unasked question but you don't want to think about regrets or repercussions right now. 

“You ok?” You ask, breathless. 

He nods, “Are you sure you want to do this?”

Using your feet against the top of his thighs, you push him into you, answering with actions instead of words.

He moves slow, allowing both of you to savour the feeling. Bolts of pleasure shooting through you, like lightning illuminating the night sky. 

Your walls stretching over him is truly euphoric, a moment you have waited years for, as he slides deep into you, reaching everywhere possible.

"Oh my god." He exclaims when he's leveled in you. "Fuck, you feel incredible."

His words cause a shiver of added need through you, your hips start rocking and rotating under him on their own, you’re blind with lust, heat encasing every part of your body. 

All you can smell, feel, think is him. He is your undoing and you're more than ready to be undone. 

He groans loudly as you writhe under him, encouraging him to move, pleading with him to move.

He slowly retracts his hips, anticipation causing you to quiver before plunging deep and hard, tearing a gasp from your throat with each thrust.

“Holy shit, Jungkook!” 

He smirks at you. The sight is enough to make you clench around him, causing him to jolt and groan, biting his lip so hard you think he might draw blood. 

He moves onto his knees, tilting your pelvis higher and as he glides back into you, he reaches new places, new depths, new pleasures. 

His thumb finds his way to your sensitive button as he massages it with your slick arousal. 

Your body is on fire, his touch igniting a trail behind him.

You can feel yourself nearing the edge, torn between being eager to jump off into the precipice but not wanting the journey to end yet. 

“I want you to make you cum.” He whispers, as his punishing rhythm on your swollen bud builds the pressure deep down inside you.

The sounds coming from your mouth don’t sound like they belong to you, they’re desperate, needy sounds, full of bliss and torture at once.

He bucks into you, hitting that sweet spot with each forceful thrust, your legs trembling around him as you gasp for air. Incoherent words escorted by his name, stumble off your lips as he incessantly thrums on your clit.

“Cum for me.” He whispers again, his eyes watching your face with fascination. 

At his words, your body jolts and back arches as your orgasm ripples through you, sending waves of pleasure cascading around your nerves. 

Every fibre of your being alight with electric thrill. 

Your loud moans echo, filling your bedroom, as you grind against his rock hard dick while your walls clench tightly around him.

“Shit, y/n!” He exclaims, as he abruptly withdraws from you and spurts his warm, liquid lust across your stomach while his fist gently milks him. 

Your pulsating core eases, replaced with tingling satisfaction as you try to even out your rapid breaths. 

He collapses on the bed beside you, pants mimicking yours.

But as you come down from your high,  floating back to earth and reality, a rock lands in the pit of your stomach. 

You just had sex with your best friend. Your best friend, who you have been in love with since you were kids, unbeknown to him.

What the fuck do I do now? Where do we go from here? 

A wave of nausea washes over you as your mind is filled with an all consuming dread. 

As a million thoughts race through your crowded mind on how to try and save your friendship, he brings over a flannel and starts gently wiping his orgasm off of you, being so attentive you want to cry.

All the years of holding in your feelings and unspoken words, the love for him blooming inside you like a flowery meadow in spring, now threatens to overflow and spill out revealing you.

When he returns, climbing back onto the bed, he angles himself to the side and props himself up on his elbow, facing you. 

His fingertips skate across your stomach, tracing small circles and sending goosebumps shivering along your skin.

You look up at his perfect face, innocent eyes meeting yours and you’re overwhelmed by how much you just want to protect him and keep him safe from anything that hurts him.

You put your arms around him, hugging him tightly, as if that will be enough to fix it all.

I wish.

"I won’t ever let anything happen to you again.” You say against his chest.

His fingers come up, stroking your hair softly. “I know, thank you, for being there for me. I will always protect you too, you know that.”

You feel him kiss the top of your head and sigh. “Y/n, about what just happened.

Oh no, here it comes. I have to do something, I have to protect myself from what he’s about to say.

"Kook, listen," You cut him off, before he could tell you what you were dreading to hear; that it was a mistake, a momentary lapse in judgement, a friend helping out another friend. 

If you hear those words, you don't think you could hold back the emotion that's currently pricking at your eyes. 

I need to take control of this situation. Hopefully, I can salvage some part of this friendship.

You take a deep breath, preparing the words, when his finger on your lips catches you off guard. 

"How about you listen," he raises an eyebrow, challenging you. When you close your mouth, he continues, "I have waited for this moment for a long time, so however you're about to shoot me down, could it wait until tomorrow? So I can at least enjoy this feeling of pretending what might have been." 

There's a sadness in his eyes as he speaks, a pleading in them. 

His words run over and over in your mind, while you try to reason with yourself that he can't possibly feel the way you think.

Surely, he can't mean he has feelings for me? I can't afford to give myself hope with that thought.

You swallow it down, along with any words that were fighting to come up. 

You watch his hand, his fingertips tickling faint lines up to your chest, making your nipples pucker in response, they finally come to rest against your lips, tracing the edges.

"Can I kiss you?" He asks, "One last time." 

Last!? It can't be the last time, we've only just started. 

It can't be the last time I'll ever get to feel his soft lips against mine. 

I can't go back to pretending not to want more, not to care, not to love him so much it kills me inside. Like a poisonous ivy plant squeezing my lungs and capturing my heart, I've had a taste of what it's like to live and breath free of that, with vibrant tiger flowers blooming in place of it and I don't want to stop feeling this way.

You find yourself leaning up and crushing your lips to his. 

He's frozen with surprise for a moment, before his hands wind around your waist, scooping you up and pressing onto you, bodies almost one.

His lips trail down your neck.

"Jungkook?"

"Hmm." He moans into your throat, the vibration making you shudder.

"I don't want it to be the last time." You hear the words escaping your mouth, as if you're watching from the outside and no longer in control of yourself.

His head snaps up, doe-eyed and mouth shaped in a little o. "You don't?" 

You shake your head. "Not at all."

He beams at you, taking your face in his hands and touching his lips to yours so passionately, it brings all your emotion flying to the surface. 

"God, y/n, I am so in love with you, I have been for years." he smiles against your lips and you can't help but mirror it in response. "Please, put me out of my misery and tell me you feel the same."

You can feel his hands shaking against your face and suddenly feel incredibly stupid for not realising his feelings sooner.

Who would have thought? Not me, clearly.

"I do. I definitely do." You pull him behind the neck, bringing him down to you, so close not even a sheet of paper could get between your skins. 

As you kiss, tongues dancing wildly together, hot and hungry for each other. 

His body weighing down on you, making you crazy with desire again.

"I want you." You say between kisses.

"You can have me as much as you want, I'm yours." He says, leaning his sweaty forehead against yours. "Besides, that pill hasn't worn off yet."

Arousal shoots down to your core like a bullet at his words. 

You push him, flipping him over and straddling his muscular body. "Well, lets see what we can do to take care of that."

As you lean down to kiss him once again, knowing that...he's mine. And I'm his.

[lumpy-veev]

Your Ship In 5 Minutes ー Part 2!

The Box Charts!

Continuation of this! I might accidentally repeat somethings, so bear with me y’all.

(Everything below the cut!)

How it Happens: It’s a slow burn, that’s for sure.

The two of them started talking pretty early on, when Byron and Edgar were first introduced to the roster. This would be about when Frank and Mortis had just talked things out. Edgar and Emz became friends (after a rocky start), which gave Byron and Mortis an excuse to interact more.

Mortis fell first, but he didn’t act on it immediately because he didn’t know if he was actually in love or just wanted to get into a relationship for the sake of familiarity. So he just spent more time with him until a friendly acquaintanceship became genuine friendship. From there Mortis realized that oh shit! This was the real deal!

Byron, on the other hand, very much did not know why his stomach twisted every time he made Mortis laugh, or why he enjoyed their conversations over drinks so much, or why his face kept heating up when he watched the way Mortis moved during a Brawl. He’s confided in his friends (Edgar and Colette, Belle, Piper and Barley), and all of them said the same thing.

“You’re in love, you idiot.”

Byron vehemently denied it at first, and even when he finally accepted that maybe he was in love, he never planned to do anything about it. Internalized homophobia’s a bitch, and he was convinced that Mortis would never reciprocate.

Which was why he was completely blindsided when Mortis confessed.

(He didn't even accept the confession immediately. He told him that he needed to think about it, and then proceeded to lie awake in bed all night reconciling with the fact that he is thoroughly gay, and really wants a bat boyfriend.)

Showing affection: You’d expect Byron to be the words guy, but he’s never really... been held before? Or held someone before? Or ever actually been able to give/receive physical affection other than a friendly shoulder pat in a while. Words just seem to fail him whenever he tries to tell Mortis he loves him, so instead more often than not he’ll go for a hug from behind and a kiss on the cheek. He still gets giddy when he realizes that this is something that he’s allowed to just do. Byron’s also one for gift giving! Catch him giving jewelry that incorporates vials of poison to Mortis. 

Mortis has no qualms with telling Byron how much he loves him, and sometimes throws love at him out of the blue just to watch him fluster. If Byron isn’t doing anything dangerous (ie. mixing chemicals), he’ll act like a spoiled cat and bother him with/for affection. Whenever there’s a brawl that Byron’s in, he’ll be standing in the sidelines yelling “YOU’RE BRILLIANT!” at the top of his lungs. He’s the only one who can get him to flush red with something other than anger.

Handling Conflict: Neither of them are ones to start arguments. If there’s something wrong, they can usually talk things out and explain how they think. But sometimes, shit goes sideways, tempers flare, and an argument happens. If a shouting match occurs, they’ll take some time to cool off, vent to a willing ear, and then eventually make up.

Byron handles the aftermath of a conflict by trying to compartmentalize his feelings. He’ll try to act like everything’s fine, and that he feels fine, and it didn’t bother him all that much when in reality, depending on what the argument was about, it very much did bother him. If he thinks he’s in the wrong, he’ll swallow his pride and apologize, but otherwise, he’s a mask of smiles.

Mortis is a bit more hot-headed, but he never wants post-argument tension to last. If Byron doesn’t do it first, he’ll apologize no matter whether or not he was in the wrong. He’ll apologize for what he thinks he might’ve done wrong, and then try to explain why he blew up. 

It’s not too hard for them to forgive each other. Staying angry is tiring, and no one wants to stay mad at their s/o. 

Dealing with jealousy: These two dramatic, victorian-vibed gentleman get jealous surprisingly easily, but it’s hidden by the fact that there are few chances for that jealousy to show. 

They'd act kinda similarly if someone triggered their jealousy, which is they'd walk over, insert themselves into the situation with a little "who's this insolent little fool you're talking to?" and make it so it's pretty obvious they aren't just friendly acquaintances.

Byron would walk up, loop an arm around Mortis's waist, and rest a hand right above his hip. It's always paired with a stony stare that he'll level at the offending person until they go away. Lets 'em know pretty quick that Mortis is most definitely off limits.

Mortis would be a bit more bold, shutting things down quick with a kiss on the cheek and malice, thinly veiled by a smile, directed at the offending person. He'll link an arm with Byron, and interject with his own sweet talk whenever the offending person is tries to flirt with him. The offending person, if they're smart, usually realizes they don't have a chance immediately.

Relationship attitude: Both of them would be dedicated lovers. That doesn't mean they shower each other with love everyday, all the time, cuz that's not dedication, that's the beginning of any relationship. But they do have specific days where they do sweet romantic gestures for each other, and they rarely part ways without a kiss and a quick "Love you!"

Byron's never been used to affection, and while that gets better as time goes on, the most PDA thing you'll catch him doing is light kisses, light flirts, and hugs from behind. He also doesn't like acting all lovey-dovey in public because he's got an *image* to uphold. Byron will be more open with people he trusts though!

If Mortis wants to kiss his boyfriend, he's gonna kiss his boyfriend! He'll obviously respect Byron's boundaries, but he runs on the belief that "If I'm not embarrassed, then the embarrassed one is you," the you in question being any onlookers.

Attachment: Since both of them are people who fight to the ‘death’ for a living, neither of them really feel overprotective of the other. They’ll watch each others’ backs, but they trust that they’re both completely capable of protecting themselves. Mortis does have feelings around protecting Byron though (see the first post). 

As for independence, not exactly sure what to put here? They’re both pretty independent, it’s not a very healthy relationship if either of them needed each other. They’ll spend a lot of time together, but that’s cuz they want each other. 

I put Mortis’s dot a little bit more to the left because sometimes he has to fish Byron out of caffeine-induced multiple-nighters after he had a chemistry idea and forgot that he needs to take care of himself. But I guess that’s not wanting to be separated and more worrying about your part-time mad scientist boyfriend.

[shurisneakers]

espresso [13]

Summary: In which your best friend’s brother begins to set you up on dates when you mention that you haven’t been in a relationship in years, but things don’t go as expected.

Warning:  angst, pining 

Word count: 2.1k (???)

A/N: hi !  all my love to @samingtonwilson​ for making me not sound like a 6 year old when i write this never-ending series and for being a true queen ! we stan an icon

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Previous part- Part 12 || Espresso Masterlist

To Bucky:

Can we talk?

From Bucky:

Coffee shop at 7?

To Bucky:

Okay.

It almost felt like déjà vu. But this time you were nervous, and not nearly as much as you were confused– a stark contrast to the meeting you had at this very location months ago to start this deal.

It was deserted– for now.

You knew the crowd would pick up gradually as students filtered in for their daily dose of caffeine, so you didn’t have much time.

You took a deep breath, pushed open the door, and let the bell above you jingle. A joyous sound for something so… jumbled up.

Bucky perked up at the noise, pausing momentarily from cleaning the counter.

I got this. I got this.

“Hey.” He sent a tiny lopsided smile your way as you took your place at one of the stools before the counter.

I don’t got this.

“Hey.” The confidence you’d felt just outside was beginning to slip away.

Fuck.

“Can I get you something to drink?” he asked politely, gesturing around to the menus in front of you. It was almost eerie how uncharacteristically silent your surroundings were.  

“No, I’m good. Thank you though.”

He nodded as he pulled a stool towards him to sit. The counter separated the two of you. “We have about thirty minutes before the usuals start coming in.”

“Okay.”

Be brave. Be brave. Be brave.

“Did you read it? The letter?”

“Yes.”

“And?”

And it scared the shit out of me.

“Fucking hell,” you cursed, sighing lightly. “I’m so confused, James. It was so fucking confusing.”

“Why?”

“Because of the dates. Every time I thought there may be a hint of something more, you’d set me up on another date with some other guy who I didn’t even like. Did you do it on purpose?”

“No. Not consciously at least. I would never,” his voice slowly trailed off.

“But?” you pressed.

“But I did spend time thinking about it and… reflecting, I guess. And I think my defense mechanism or insecurities or whatever did have a role in it, but I never noticed until you pointed it out.”

“That’s a fucking dick move, you know.”

“I know,” he swallowed, tired eyes on the counter flitting up to meet yours. “I’m sorry. Truly. ”

“And what is it with these?” You pointed to the cups in front of you. “Why is everyone so obsessed with these?”

He leaned forward on his forearms. “I used to write little pieces of poetry whenever you came in. Or messages when you didn’t look like you were having a good day. Just innocuous stuff.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I thought you saw them but didn’t care. A bunch of times you threw them away pretty quickly so I kinda figured you were doing it to save me from humiliation. So I just stopped after a while.”

“I didn’t see them.”

“Yes, I know that now.”

“Do you remember some of the stuff you wrote?” you asked hopefully. “Do I get to read it now?”

“All of it.” He laughed and pulled away from the counter. “But you’re not going to see it again. It’s too embarrassing.”

“Why do you hate everything you write so much?”

He shrugged. “I tend to get dramatic a lot. And emotional.”

“That isn’t a bad thing.”

Wordless, he just picked up a cloth to wipe at some glasses he knew were already clean. Until, “Any more questions?”

“Why didn’t you like Rumlow?”

“Oh, come on.” He looked at you like you were kidding, disbelieving. His expression fell when he realized you weren’t.  “Really?”

“Really. We’re getting all the skeletons out now.”

“Because-” a disgruntled sigh, “because he was absolute garbage! He was a fucking dick and I already hated him, but then he went and did that whole thing with Dot-“ he gestured wildly to make up for unfound words.

“-And after that I literally couldn’t look at his face without wanting to punch the living shit out of him.”

If it wasn’t clear by now, you could tell by the clench of his jaw that talking about Rumlow triggered something in Bucky.

Deciding to spare his anger before it spiraled through less important explanations, you pointed at the bandage wrapped around his knuckles. “What happened here?”

“Punched a wall.” That was a lie, you could tell. But you didn’t push it any further. “Pulled a Kyle.”

You rolled your eyes at his outdated joke, but he didn’t seem to mind, going back to wiping at the mugs in silence.

You just watched him breathe through it, his shoulders dropping tight tension as seconds passed.

“You know, you never actually told me what happened at the bar,” he spoke up, attempting to change the topic smoothly, but it didn’t go unnoticed.

“How much do you know?”

“Only what Dot told me, honestly.”

Fucking Dolores.

You groaned. “Dot? Fucking Dot knows about what happened?”

“She doesn’t know anything,” he interrupted before you had the chance to whine more.

You looked at him quizzically.

“It wasn’t my story to tell. She just said that your reaction made her realize there was some kind of history between you and Rumlow because no one leaves so suddenly in the middle of a conversation.”

You were gonna regret this but-

“Why was she in your room that day?”

He titled his head in confusion. “Which day?”

“Your birthday. I came to give you your present and she was wearing your shirt.”

It was like you couldn’t help yourself.

You cleared your throat after a beat, straightening your posture. “Actually, I’m sorry it’s none of my business. I didn’t-“

“Becca spilled her drink on her,” he explained coolly. Not defensive in the least. “I just gave her a shirt so that she didn’t have to stay in that for the rest of the night. Nothing happened between us.”

Oh. Becca had mentioned that she’d spilt her drink on fucking Dolores. Okay, maybe you didn’t connect the story. In anger. Maybe a little jealousy.

“I’m sorry, it wasn’t my place to ask.”

“It’s alright. I was going to clear it up that day but you left so suddenly.” You almost snorted as he continued, “She asked about you after the bar. She was a little worried.”

Slowly, the guilt of disliking her so badly was starting to creep into your mind. You’d always known there was no real reason to.

You owed her an apology basket.

Maybe two.

“What’s going on in your head? I can feel you thinking too much all the way here.”

“Who the hell writes people rejection letters, Bucky?” The thought was absurd enough to warrant a smile from you and a small laugh from him.

“Told you it was dorky.”

“Didn’t realize it was to this degree.”

“Yeah, well.” He shrugged, not saying anything to defend himself.

You glanced at the clock above the register. You had only ten minutes to go, and almost all the questions you had thought of had been answered.

Almost.

The one thing you wanted to know itched at you, aching to get out but you weren’t sure you had the confidence to just fucking ask-

“You good? Sure I can’t get you a-“

“Do you have feelings for me?” you asked directly. A straight shot.

His eyes widened slightly in surprise. To be honest, you were almost shocked yourself at how blunt you’d just been, but you were so tired. So tired. You wanted it done, out in the open. Clear air for once.

“Like, right now. This instant.”

“Y/N, I-” A sigh. A slow comb of his hands through his hair. A glance to the side.

“The letter, James.” You didn’t break your stare. Didn’t dare. Your heart felt two seconds from bursting through your chest. “You wrote it in the letter that you used to.”

No movement aside from a shift of his gaze downward, focusing on restless fingers. He pursed his lips, another sigh. But he said nothing.

Seconds of silence passed.

It almost felt suffocating.

Your eyebrows were knit together. “Bucky-”

“Yes.” You fell silent as his eyes met yours with little hesitation. “Yes. I do.”

You didn’t know what you were expecting him to say, but you froze. You opened your mouth but shut it again, unable to form any words. Well fuck.

His shrug was nonchalant, but the fall of his shoulders to a defeated slump was anything but. “Y/N, you have to know that our friendship means the world to me, and if this is going to change everything, then please, please stop me right now.” “I-”

“You’re my Mario,” his voice cracked but the corner of his lips tugged upwards. “I can’t afford to lose that.”

You didn’t know what to say. Of course everything it would change things between you. How could it not?

It’s not like you wanted to give up what you had with him. You didn’t know if you were being selfish, but the intensity of whatever it is that you were feeling was there and it hurt.

“Don’t-” he interrupted your train of thought with a restrained, almost forced smile. An attempt at confidence, perhaps. “Don’t overthink this. You really don’t have to say anything.”

“I just-” Bucky continued, another dramatic gesturing of his hands when words fell short. “Figured it was ‘bout time you knew. Properly.”

“Since when?” you sounded unsure.  

“How long? Oh, man.” He laughed softly and shook his head. “Shits, I think it’s been a good couple of years now.”

Silently, you mulled it all over. Sat with it all for a minute.

He smiled, genuine now. No longer forced and tight, but relieved at the loss of the weight on his chest.

He set down the glass he was holding and swung the rag over his shoulder.

“I’m… fuckin’ shit at communication, Y/N,” he admitted as your lips pursed. “You know that. I couldn’t tell you, I couldn’t tell Dot. I couldn’t talk to Becca, forget anyone else. It’s so fucking hard for me to talk about-”

“Feelings?”

“Feelings,” he confirmed, nodding. “Emotions. It’s almost like I can’t. It’s easier just shut up and listen to others talk all the time.”

It made sense.

Even though he asked you not to overthink, everything he did was thought over, and then thought over again, and again and million more times just out of selfless concern.

“It feels selfish. And I hate feeling that way.”

You knew he wasn’t very open but this-

This was new to you. It didn’t shock you like you’d thought it would, but it was still… a little difficult to hear.

“What you feel is important too, you know. Not that you should feel that way, but it’s okay to be a little selfish,” you replied, voice soft.

“Yeah well-“ He paused before shaking his head. “Communicating is just something I have to work on, I guess.”

“Me too, apparently,” was your mumbled response.

All of this could have been avoided if you’d just had this conversation months ago. Like proper adults. Mature adults.

“We both have some serious issues,” he said lightly, cracking a smile at you.

You didn’t respond. You just played with the hem of your scarf, unraveling a piece of thread from the rest of it.

You could hear the sound of cars pulling up to the shop. A glance at the clock confirmed an incoming crowd.

But something felt incomplete.

You felt uneasy.

“Ah fuck, here they come,” he cursed, a quick smoothening his hair before pulling on his barista cap.

You took it as your sign to leave, gathering your few belongings that sat scattered before you.

“I’ll see you around Buck-”

“Y/N.”

You lifted your head to meet his stare.

“I know I shouldn’t really be asking this, but are we- We’re good, right?”

You stopped your own restless fidgeting.

You couldn’t tell him you weren’t sure, could you? Could you tell him that and that you were relieved?

Relieved that it hadn’t been in your head, that there were feelings on his end. Angry, though, that even if his intentions with the dates had been pure, what he did kinda sucked. That misunderstandings which could’ve been solved with a little maturity and a little communication lingered for so long, caused so many sleepless nights.

Could you tell him all of that and how it all hurt?

You knew he wasn’t looking for reciprocation. You knew he didn’t deem himself worthy of it. Even though he was good. Through it all, he was still good. Probably always would be. Too scared to hurt others, too scared to put the weight of his feelings on anyone else.

Maybe that’s why it was so confusing.

It was so fucking confusing.

His stare didn’t waver even as the bell above the door rang, signaling a new customer. Never a lapse in intensity.

“Yeah. I think we’re good.”