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#eventually maybe you'll do them well
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So this has been said before and by better people than me, but the thing is, anything worth doing is worth doing badly. 
There are people talking about AI art being somehow valid because it means that “anyone can create art” but—anyone can create art [see this post for some lovely discussion and examples.]. It’s part of what makes us human. Humanity has been unique among all of evolution for creating and sharing art, whether that be stories or music or paintings or crafts. Drawing in wet sand, handprints in concrete. Kids make art on our walls; we wash it off and they do it again. We sing in the shower and doodle on scrap paper. We tell stories because we don’t know how not to, even if it’s a simple as what happened during our day. 
The oldest known instruments are bone flutes from 40000 years ago; likewise, the oldest known paintings. There are oral histories that have been passed down for tens of thousands of years. We yearn to create, to share parts of ourselves in one way or another. We yearn to learn about each other from these shared fragments. There are countless museums all over the world with millions of visitors each year who travel just to see what someone else created, what bits of themselves they gave to the world.
AI “art” isn’t art. It doesn’t create from a soul, it doesn’t share fragments of its self. It steals people’s fragments and mashes them together to make something that may be aesthetically pleasing, but that can never be more than that. It can’t tell a truth because it doesn’t know what truth is.
But in this modern world where everything is commodified, every hobby is supposed to be monetized, everything is supposed to pass some sort of “test”, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that aesthetically pleasing is all that matters. It’s easy to want to earn those clicks, those likes, to feel validated by something that was mashed together by your keystrokes. It's easy to embrace the pleasant lies.
It’s hard to be bad at something. It’s hard to spend hours making something, to make yourself vulnerable, and have it not live up to what was in your head. But that’s also the nature of being human. Nobody is born good at something; they work at it. And sometimes that work isn’t aesthetically pleasing. Sometimes the story reads awkwardly. Sometimes you hit a wrong note, or spend the whole song out of key. Sometimes the photo isn’t in focus, and the pot is lopsided, and the cake looks like you dropped it. 
Sometimes you scare your cat with the glorious cacophony of learning. 
You can’t get good without being bad first, and looking at what’s bad, and trying again. Maybe this time, your lines will be crisper, even if your proportions are still off. Maybe this time, you’ll have one good sentence, one good paragraph. This time, you’ll play Chopsticks and only be off on a couple of notes; your scarf is lumpy but it’s warm and vibrant. You remember the crumb layer on your cake and it tastes good, and you meant to take a picture of the flower but you got the bee in focus, and the pot is still lopsided but it looks like a Dali clock and you kind of like it. 
Or maybe not. Maybe it will never be Insta-worthy, maybe it will lurk in your word processor for the rest of time, maybe the sketch never leaves the sketchbook and you never sing on stage. But even if it’s bad—it’s still truth. It’s still a piece of you. And that is still a celebration of being human.
If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing badly.
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aftonsparv-bugzz · 2 months
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i grew up with the mindset that "if i (an adult) cant do it, youcant" and i realise now how wrong and awful that mindset is. truly an ageist mindset. stop belittling young people because you believe they are lesser than you. young people can achieve many things, you just judge them for their age. instead of judging children , how about you judge your mindset and change it. learn that children can do things too, you just judge by age.
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I think
I think that me thinking I'm a compulsive manipulator for most of my "aware life" has something to do with the tism
#i was watching a video on an autistic person 'reviewing' a book used by therapists to communicate with autistic people (and for cbt as well)#(which. cbt for autistic people is not a good idea at all for multiple reasons but that's not the point)#and the person started talking about the fact that they say in the book that allistics communicate by not clearly stating their intentions#(so subtext and hidden meaning behind words)#and i was nodding along like 'yep that's how it works you have to analyze everything or you'll be ridiculed eventually'#and then the autistic person recording said *not* 'we have to analyze what they say'#but 'we have to Not say what we mean in order to communicate effectively with them' and i went wait no that's manipulative#(keep in mind i was watching that video listening in for signs that i am NOT autistic because as my only irl friend says: i am in denial)#and i think that i. started masking as a survival mechanism and imitating nt people#and reading subtext and acting 'allistically' is a big part of that and. my potentially autistic brain was recognizing that as manipulation#(as a means of survival)#like i had times as a kid where not reading subtext made me be ridiculed or ostracized or mocked#so i started doing it as well but my non allistic brain recognized that as manipulation because it wasn't natural for me#and i think maybe that's also why i like analyzing texts and finding new meanings in things so much#and why i care so much about the origins of non-literal expressions like#... i don't have an english example right now but you get the idea#that. realization is very reassuring actually#maybe i'm not as bad of a person as i thought...?#sunny
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satoruxx · 11 months
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thinking about since canonically Geto is more popular with girls than Gojo he’s gotten used to them looking past him to get to Geto but what if Gojo and Geto are out for drinks with the other teachers one night and he gets approached by the reader but he thinks she’s just coming over to ask him for Geto’s number and so he prepares his ‘responsible best friend’ act and then SHE ASKS ABOUT HIM INSTEAD, ALL BLUSHY AND STUFF BECAUSE HE LOOKED LIKE HE WAS GONNA BRUSH HER OFF
AHH I LOVE HIM SM 😔😔😔
pairing: gojo satoru x reader | 1k words summary: fluff, pining, reader is a simp but same, satoru is a good wingman but he needs attention too, au ig bc suguru's alive LMAO, idiots in love? rheya's note: oh my god shut up this is so cute and YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT??? i can just imagine that he's gotten so used to judging whether or not the person is even worth suguru's attention before deciding to pass on his info...and after a while his brain just defaults to thinking that everyone wants suguru but he FORGETS that there are gojo girlies out there (me asf) !! thanks for the ask nonnie babes i love this idea so so much <33
OK SO
it's obvious that there are quite a few women at the bar eyeing the group. young, attractive teachers spending an evening trying to relax and take their minds off of the stress of jujutsu work. nanami is in deep conversation with shoko about something while ijichi quietly listens. further down the table utahime is quietly sipping her drink while mei mei orders another. shoko makes a comment and suguru bursts into unabashed laughter.
the flush of alcohol dusts over each of their cheeks, but satoru remans the only one who has barely touched his glass, the sting of the bitterness a little too harsh for him to enjoy. he opts for instead letting his eyes roam over the faces in the crowd, taking little notice of all the eyes and smiles sent in their direction.
well until he notices you anyway.
you're already looking in his direction curiously, face illuminated by the dim lighting of the bar as your friends giggle around you. when his eyes lock with yours, you immediately tear your gaze away, trying to play it off by immediately delving into conversation, though satoru can tell that there's a flush crawling up your neck now.
he doesn't look away though, too caught up in the crinkle of your eyes and the smile lines that grace your face as you laugh at something. a minute later you're looking back in their direction, and when you catch him staring, you turn away yet again.
satoru glances to his side, knowing that you're probably watching suguru take a sip of his drink and most likely falling for his charming smile.
typical and so predictable.
some time passes like this. you'll look, and turn away, and satoru will watch you do it over and over again. it isn't until a while later that satoru catches your friends pushing your shoulders and giggling, and he knows that they're urging you to come up and ask about suguru. you're shaking your head, the nervousness clear as day as your brows pinch. but eventually you succumb to peer pressure and stand up from your table, taking anxious strides towards him.
and usually, satoru will make a face or turn his back or do something to look as unapproachable as possible. because almost every person who comes up asking for suguru's contact info has been obnoxious as hell.
but you're quite pretty and you look sweet enough, and he doesn't think it'd be right to deter you.
suguru would probably like you too.
so satoru decides to let you try at least, and if you seem to be as nice as you look maybe he'd bridge the gap between you and his best friend.
you make your way up to him, and as soon as he finally gets a good look at you he's thinking you're a lot prettier up close.
dammit.
"hi," you say, face hot as you try your best to maintain steady eye contact with him. you look so nervous, fidgeting with the fabric of your clothes as you attempt to strike up conversation, and he doesn't have it in him to watch you struggle.
"yeah i can give you his number," he says, voice clipped as he tries to hide the disappointment in it. you watch him grab a napkin and begin scribbling something down, confusion clear as he hands you the digits.
"um…?" you look at the napkin and then at him. "sorry, whose number is this?"
satoru balks, lips parting as he mirrors your confusion. "uh…suguru's? the guy behind me?"
realization dawns on your face and you shift your weight from foot to foot.
"oh actually," you suck your teeth nervously, trying to hide behind an awkward little smile. "i came to talk to you."
satoru can only blink, cerulean eyes widening behind his glasses as he stares at you in surprise.
you take his silence as a bad sign, shoulders dropping and embarrassment settling in your frown as you look anywhere but his face. "s-sorry if that's weird. i don't wanna make you uncomfortable or anything so-"
he's grinning before he can stop himself, heart dangerously swelling with affection as he motions toward the empty stool next to him. "not weird at all."
the pleasant surprise on your face makes him bite back a chuckle, and you take the seat. "huh...i wasn't expecting you to be okay with it."
satoru raises a brow curiously, tilting his head. "why not?"
you shrug with a careless grin. "i had a feeling you were gonna brush me off from the moment i first looked over."
satoru winces, and he can practically feel suguru's knowing smirk on his back. he chooses to ignore that for now, eyes trailing over the mirth in your expression, and he can only smile helplessly. "no way in hell."
your laugh comes instantly, sweet and bright, and you take it as a sign to continue talking. satoru listens on, sipping his drink to hide his giddy smile and ignoring the sting of bitterness once again.
honestly, with the amount of sweetness he's just found, satoru would tolerate as much bitterness as he needed to.
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acid-ixx · 3 months
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prequel: again &. again. (platonic! yandere batfam x neglected! gn reader)
directory: prequel, chapter one, chapter two, chapter three
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read until the end for an author's note.
what hurts more when it comes to neglectful batfam that adopted you after jason's death (that eventually turns a 360 after you have left) is probably the fact that they always had time for you, it's just that they never chose to spend it on you; an extra burden to their family rather than an addition. if they had time to spend, they spend it on anything or anyone else but you. it's not that you don't share interests with them, it's just...! they have way more priorities that push you further back into their list of 'to do's'; though you know you'll always be the last of that list.
bruce has to juggle so many tasks as the billionaire playboy "brucie wayne", a father of an ever growing family, and gotham's dark knight vigilante but somehow, you're aware he could easily fit in one or two more children into his already booked schedule— he just never seems to consider you worthy enough apparently. or maybe it was because you were too silent, you set boundaries compared to your other family who are outspoken about what they want, what they need— but there's one thing for sure that sets you off from your siblings; you're not a vigilante.
you were merely a child of a one night stand; a child raised too well. you were behaved, you never complained, and you were just, you. and being normal (at least in their level of extraordinary talents were you a mere droplet) amongst a family of talented individuals makes you easily a ghost. was bruce to blame with his neglect? definitely. if he was able to balance his life so easily, then maybe as the world's best detective would he notice you packing your things day by day without update. maybe that was why you never once hesitated the moment you stepped outside the manor, permanently.
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dick's excuse would always be "sorry, baby bird! but i promised to spar with damian today. ah, but you can watch from the sidelines!" or he would be too busy saving bludhaven to even acknowledge your presence. sure, he smiles at you with those shiny teeth of his, but despite him looking at you, he never notices you for more than a second, right after he would skidadle his way to another sibling's room, bothering them to spend more time with him, never you though. it occurs to you that he has only entered your bedroom once, and that occurrence was years ago. even then, he didn't last a minute inside there before running away once more.
family matters more than anything to dick. hell, he was enraged at the announcement of jason's death and even beat joker to a bloody pulp when he realized tim fell into his hands. he's ready to defend damian, barbara, steph, cass, and duke with his life. it's his duty and obligation as the family's eldest brother, of course. but were you considered family to him? were you considered a sibling in his eyes, or were you just the resident roommate of the mansion? you question that endlessly because everyone, family and friends, seem to be smitted with dick, but you eventually gave up trying to vye for his attention. it's fine, really, if you were just another civilian to him, because he was just another person to you too. just like in a circus, you would always be the intermission rather than the main event. and with that, you take your leave.
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jason was the most forgivable to you, second to tim. he was never there, and he would've probably put effort into spending time with you if not for the fact he despises bruce and the mansion and wouldn't and couldn't last a second stepping into it. he never met you when he was robin, it was only right after his death did he discover were you taken in and that added fact alongside tim being his replacement turned him bitter with resentment. though his hatred for you receded over time, he wouldn't really be caught taking a minute with you because he always sneaks inside the mansion and crime in gotham never seems to lessen. because of that, and your unwillingness to become a vigilante to kick ass with him and the others, he wouldn't be able to fully take an hour with you.
casual talks are unavoidable, though, when at the dead of the night he would be caught sneaking in to eat some leftovers and you were conveniently awake at the same time as him. he'll recommend you some classic literature he read or 'cafes/restaurants that criminals visit the least' lists, but before it would turn into a full conversation, jason would already be wearing his signature mask again, and with a pat on your head and a "talk to you soon, can't guarantee it'll be tomorrow again though, only here for alfred's meals of course," and he'll be gone. you shouldn't have let your hopes high, you wished you didn't because, duh! he wasn't there to talk to you, specifically. you were just there to bide his time! wiping tears away from your eyes, and with a heavy heart, you book an apartment away from the wayne manor with your own atm card; hope irreversibly dead and unable to revive a sliver of faith, even if it was dipped in the lazarus pit would it never come back as the same.
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tim drake is always tired. just like bruce, his days are filled with investigation, crime fighting, and worst of all; high school. that's of course that least of his worries the moment he drops out. tim was never the guy to talk much. he only does when he needs to make an impression for others, or when he needs to manipulate people for potential information. his life revolved around fighting, from when he solved the case of bruce wayne and dick grayson being batman and robin respectively, up to his current identity as red robin and occasionally robin. he'll often be found in the batcave working with babs on a case or working alone in his room.
it's no mistake that you were the most distant to him, never once knowing about his interests or even hobbies and vice versa. it was a given that at the very moment you pass a glance at him, you knew it was a 'mind your business' type of relationship with him. if you were a mere ghost to dick, then you were just a spec of dust to tim. it was unfair to assume he would never care for you, he does! only in a way where you were another person to save if you ever were endangered, but would that be enough to stalk you to the point he gains every insight about you? not really. you weren't one of his friends, like kon who he would spend weekly video game challenges with; and you probably don't exist as his sibling in his own little world filled with coffee and computers. yeah, your feelings about leaving him weren't as bitter as the caffeine he drowns in his system, but you were still hurt either way.
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damian wayne, from his birth, was taught and raised to prioritize his mission as an al ghul, to be the one continuing the legacy and to shed blood on anyone who opposes. when he was given over to bruce, it took a hell lot of effort to turn a new page and become the next robin. it was, with no doubt, that despite his 'redemption', he would be a tad bit crueler to you than the others. unlike tim, who he persistently bothers, you were untalented, worthless, and a stain on the reputation of the wayne's. even jason, his father's greatest mistake, had more value than you.
maybe it was fine-tuned jealousy, maybe he was mirroring his father and dick's actions towards you with his own sick twist of violence. either way, you would rather avoid the boy, lest you face the wrath of his sword. it wouldn't be wrong if you came to hate him, actually you do, but despite your endless game of cat and mouse with you as the unwilling victim of the chase, your poor heart couldn't fathom the thought of not excusing his actions as that of a child's. you tell yourself everyday, 'just ignore it, he was raised like as to be a menace after all' but you can't deny the bitterness and the clenching of your teeth whenever you stumble upon a room and see your father and your younger brother watching a movie together. the resentment eventually builds up until you blow up and just, give up. within your final moments in the manor, you figured to leave some belongings that you collected overtime that were supposedly memorabilias that you wish to show off to your family. like his pieces of art, you could only explain your life in the family as black and white and as bleak as the streaks of charcoal that rubs against the pages.
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when dick was jogging through the desolate halls of the manor, he noticed the place seemed to be more... empty of some sort. and he knows pushing that feeling into the back of his head would only result in more questions than answers. so he decides to enter the spare rooms one by one until he comes across your room (he doesn't know it was yours, though), turning the knob without knocking.
that was when his eyes seem to dilate. his nose catched a faint whiff of bleach (was the room deep-cleaned?), vision seemingly closing in on the few furniture left alongside a diary and other boxes left neatly on your bed, with other smaller trinkets left untouched on your bedside table. he didn't remember you mentioning anything about leaving, hell, he doesn't want to admit his lack of memories about you but—
wait...
didn't he promise to take you out for dinner months ago...?
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reblogs and interactions are encouraged and appreciated.
a/n: this is one of my favorite pieces of writing i have ever done and i like it a lot so i hope whoever reads this likes it too. if you all want to read more of this, then please leave a comment or reblog because i heavily appreciate it and it motivates me further to write this type of content! the reason i have come to a long hiatus is because, as stated, the lack of interaction with content. like i said, i will still write for genshin but i am open to expanding my fandom list. (p.s. i hope you like the way i had to connect their interests or a part of their past to the reader.)
heavily inspired by @klemen-tine's work: Glass Bones and Paper Skin, @gotham-daydreams' work: Not [], and @onmyyan's work: Ain't No Sunshine.
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ozzgin · 6 months
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Yandere! Werewolf Headcanons
I've been stalked by the guilty feeling that my Romanian Werewolf boy got a lot of backstory but not much romance or interaction. So there you have it: some headcanons featuring the ancient Beast, a post-kidnapping sequel.
Content: female reader, obsessive behavior, monster romance, mild NSFW at the end, ridiculously older yandere
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You followed the gargantuan stranger back into the city, leaving the bloodbath behind as if it was just a distant dream. Admittedly, you’d expected to be dragged into some mountainous cave or an abandoned mansion, not the cozy - albeit a little dusty - apartment on a main, historical street. On second thought, he did function as a human outside of his monstrous escapades, so it made sense. “Is this your place?”, you sheepishly asked while he wiped the thick layers of blood off him. “One of them, yes”, he answered curtly. “It’s central”, you remarked, trying to make conversation. “Well, I didn’t know about it back then. It’s been a few decades.”
Your ears perked up at the words. Gazing at his features, he didn’t seem necessarily aged to you. The deep creases contouring his face felt more like a sign that he’s lived sorrows beyond most people’s comprehension. “How old are you?” You finally asked as curiosity replaced your initial fear. He abruptly stopped his movements and leaned back, brows furrowed in deep contemplation. “I’m not so sure anymore. I was born in the 80s”, he concluded. “That’s not too far back, is it?” You inquired, this time more relaxed. “80 BC, I meant. You do the math.”
He freshened himself up as you counted the millennia on your fingers, frowning in confusion. He chuckled at your intense focus, then quickly looked up into the mirror. When was the last time he smiled like this? The reflection was a foreign sight to him. “We’ll get you everything you need tomorrow”, he continued, still in a daze. What a strange idea, having someone to speak to after an eternity. And suddenly, it occurred to him just how rusted his communication had gotten: “I’m so sorry, I haven’t asked for your name once”, he said, embarrassed. “It’s (Y/N). And you are...?" Might as well introduce yourself to your benevolent captor.
The dreaded question. How did they call him back in the day? He hasn't had anyone spell it out for him, nor did he feel the need at any point to say it himself. Why would he? He hadn't anticipated meeting you. With pursed lips, he searched his mind. Eventually, from the depths or memories, from days of yore, it made its way back: "Daos."
Given your first gory encounter (where he quite literally murdered everyone else), you were surprised to find out he's otherwise a calm and polite individual. Well, he's had centuries to mature, you suppose. You've also noticed he has that rather old-fashioned chivalry to him. He's very attentive despite his stoic demeanor, and often follows with acts of service.
"You're insulting me. I can carry this myself with ease", you'll argue. "I never doubted you can. Nonetheless, it is my wish to do it for you."
As the days pass, your reluctance seems to vanish as well. In fact, you've become particularly cheeky, encouraged by his warm, unperturbed behavior. Maybe you haven't gotten the worst deal out there, after all.
"You know, you talk like an old man", you've teased him once. He was visibly taken aback by your statement, and you could discern a faint blush on his face. "Do I? My apologies, I haven't spoken to anyone in a long time. I'm not familiar with modern speech. Have I embarrassed you somehow?"
He spends his free time reading, though he will frequently take you on walks. It's an interesting affair to say the least. You can feel the curious eyes of the passersby and hear their not-so-discreet whispered gossip. You can't truly blame them: Daos is enormous even as a human. He towers above everyone else with his imposing appearance. To match, his voice is deep and coarse as a result of not using it much until recently.
The ancient werewolf is a living history book. If asked, he will narrate to you important events or details you might be curious about regarding his culture. Once, when he'd been in a good mood, he even shared fragments of his life before turning into a creature. He'd been a high-ranked Dacian warrior, spending his days training or fighting. He still remembers the flag he carried with bitter fondness, yet another irony to his fate: a wolf-headed serpent. It was meant to showcase their way of life; barbarians with no fear of death. They'd greeted the Roman Empire with nothing but a sword and a shield, no shred of doubt.
He might've been betrayed by his people, but the pride remains. The pride of a soldier who's never known defeat. You learned quickly that his beastly form doesn't count as a significant change by any means, save for appearances. The man has brute strength even as a human. You'd once strayed from his view, and a stranger approached with a daring whistle, gawking you up and down. Before you could react, Daos clawed him by the throat. You heard the twist of the skin and the creak of the bones giving in to the immense pressure of his large hand.
"It's the second time I have exposed you to such unpleasant sights", he said, discarding the body as if it was any other garbage. "Forgive me, but I will not have you disrespected like this."
He is very much aware he's taken you away from the world out of his own selfish desire. The fact that you accepted it is more than he could ever ask for. That's what he keeps telling himself, even as his eyes wander to your lips whenever you speak. Or as his hand lingers a moment too long against the curve of your back. Or as he hungrily takes in your scent whenever you're nearby.
He might be unhealthily possessive of you, but Daos will never do anything against your will. No matter how obvious his urges are. In fact, no amount of flirting or teasing will shake his resolve. You will have to be very direct with your approval.
Once the reality settles in, he'll become extremely affectionate, bordering on obsessive. To think he could have you in every way possible. Oh, he's waited thousands of years for you. All the suffering, the loneliness, the anger, they're stripped of any meaning now that he has you.
The city strolls at an awkward distance have since become a habitual excuse to hold your hand and show you off to the mortals. The quiet evenings of passing time with a book now include your merely noticeable weight cuddled into his lap. You didn't expect him to be this adoring. Being touch-starved for millennia counts as one reason, naturally, but there's more to it, so much more. And it all leads back to you.
He is a little taken aback when you ask him to do the deed in his werewolf form. "Don't be foolish. I can't overcome my instincts as well when I'm a creature. I could harm you", he'll lecture you. "Besides, you can barely take it as it currently is", he'll add, smirking at your baffled expression. It seems he's picked up on your cheekiness.
After a lot of pleading and waiting for the right moment - when he's ravaging you in a daze - he finally agrees. True to his word, his tune instantly changes. The tender hold turns into a desperate grasp sinking into your skin, and the thrusts become irregular, almost frantic. His drool cools your burning cheeks as you hold onto the coarse fur, feverish and overwhelmed.
His golden eyes rest on the small human squirming underneath him, and suddenly, he can't help but notice: you have the perfect birthing hips.
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inkskinned · 3 months
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one of the things that's the most fucking frustrating for me about arguing with climate change deniers is the sheer fucking scope of how much it matters. sweating in my father's car, thinking about how it's the "hottest summer so far," every summer. and there's this deep, roiling rage that comes over me, every time.
the stakes are wrong, is the thing. that's part of what makes it not an actual debate: the other side isn't coming to the table with anything to fucking lose.
like okay. i am obviously pro gun control. but there is a basic human part of me that can understand and empathize with someone who says, "i'm worried that would lead to the law-abiding citizens being punished while criminals now essentially have a superpower." i don't agree, but i can tell the stakes for them are also very high.
but let's say the science is wrong and i'm wrong and the visible reality is wrong and every climate disaster refugee is wrong. let's say you're right, humans aren't causing it or it's not happening or whatever else. let's just say that, for fun.
so we spend hundreds of millions of dollars making the earth cleaner, and then it turns out we didn't need to do that. oops! we cleaned the earth. our children grow up with skies full of more butterflies and bees. lawns are taken over with rich local biodiversity. we don't cry over our electric bills anymore. and, if you're staunchly capitalist and i need to speak ROI with you - we've created so many jobs in developing sectors and we have exciting new investment opportunities.
i am reminded of kodak, and how they did not make "the switch" to digital photography; how within 20 years kodak was no longer a household brand. do we, as a nation, feel comfortable watching as the world makes "the switch" while we ride the laurels of oil? this boggles me. i have heard so much propaganda about how america cannot "fall behind" other countries, but in this crucial sector - the one that could actually influence our own monopolies - suddenly we turn the other cheek. but maybe you're right! maybe it will collapse like just another silicone valley dream. but isn't that the crux of capitalism? that some economies will peter out eventually?
but let's say you're right, and i'm wrong, and we stopped fracking for no good reason. that they re-seed quarries. that we tear down unused corporate-owned buildings or at least repurpose them for communities. that we make an effort, and that effort doesn't really help. what happens then? what are the stakes. what have we lost, and what have we gained?
sometimes we take our cars through a car wash and then later, it rains. "oh," we laugh to ourselves. we gripe about it over coffee with our coworkers. what a shame! but we are also aware: the car is cleaner. is that what you are worried about? that you'll make the effort but things will resolve naturally? that it will just be "a waste"?
and what i'm right. what if we're already seeing people lose their houses and their lives. what if it is happening everywhere, not just in coastal towns or equatorial countries you don't care about. what if i'm right and you're wrong but you're yelling and rich and powerful. so we ignore all of the bellwethers and all of the indicators and all of the sirens. what if we say - well, if it happens, it's fate.
nevermind. you wouldn't even wear a mask, anyway. i know what happens when you see disaster. you think the disaster will flinch if you just shout louder. that you can toss enough lives into the storm for the storm to recognize your sacrifice and balk. you argue because it feels good to stand up against "the liberals" even when the situation should not be political. you are busy crying for jesus with a bullhorn while i am trying to usher people into a shelter. you've already locked the doors, even on the church.
the stakes are skewed. you think this is some intellectual "debate" to win, some funny banter. you fuel up your huge unmuddied truck and say suck it to every citizen of that shitbird state california. serves them right for voting blue!
and the rest of us are terrified of the entire fucking environment collapsing.
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sardonic-the-writer · 5 months
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𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐗-𝐌𝐞𝐧 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐃𝐨𝐞𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐏𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐈𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞
↳ includes: charles xavier, erik lehnsherr, logan howlett, marie lebeau, and peter maximoff
↳ warnings: x-man type violence maybe? nothing much
↳ notes: just some self indulgent headcanons about how the gang would deal with someone who hates skin on skin contact. this is based on my own personal experiences, so it might not cater to everyone. charles and erik are written to be more of themselves around the first class era, peter is himself as seen in apocalypse, and marie & logan are more set in the first movie's portrayal of them
↳ song: heavy metal lover—lady gaga
masterlist | commissions | carrd
𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐗𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐫 [𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐫 𝐗]
• Oh this is not one bit of a problem for Charles
• He's never needed physical contact to connect with people. Whether that's because of his powers, or his 'natural charm' as he calls it, you aren't sure, but your strange request for no contact never seemed to put him off his friendship with you
• Charles has his own ways of bonding with you, no hugs or handshakes required. Instead of nudges used to alert the other of a particularly funny joke, he'd just send you flashes in your mind regarding the situation. The end result was always the same; with the both of you grinning at each other while the rest of the room was left to make their own assumptions as to what you were thinking about
• "Seriously, it's creepy when they do that. They could be talking about anything." Alex whispered to Hank one day as you and Charles stood across the room from each other, not caring if the Professor was able to hear him or not. The only sign that you were even talking was the occasional huff of laughter Charles would let out as you scrunched your nose up in a toothy grin
• "Oh, I wouldn't say that." Hanks eyes gleam from behind his glasses as he watches the two of his friends. "Charles tells me most of it is just really bad jokes, if you want to know."
• As if on cue, the spell between you and Charles breaks as you delve into a laughing fit, and Alex and Hank can't help but shake their heads at each other in slight amusement as they watch
• He does an excellent job at speaking for you when you can't quite explain to new people why you are the way you are—as long as you'll let him, of course
• Maybe it's because he's been in your head, or just because he knows you so well that he can say exactly what you're thinking before you even know it. And sometimes, he doesn't even need to explain much at all. One carefully worded sentence backed with that steady tone of his is enough to make even the most ignorant of people understand
• "No handshakes for them, please." Charles had found himself saying that sentence more times than he could count since getting to know you, but he never found himself growing tired of it; even when you eventually found the awkward courage to start speaking on your behalf. Especially when you started speaking on your behalf
• Charles is a very patient man, and he couldn't be happier than to wait for you to open up to the world like you had done for him, even if it does take a while
𝐄𝐫𝐢𝐤 𝐋𝐞𝐡𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐫 [𝐌𝐚𝐠𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐨]
• I'm going to be completely honest with you. At first, Erik finds your habit of avoiding touch annoying
• It's a weakness in his eyes that you have every opportunity to avoid acquiring. He doesn't see the point in being afraid of something so miniscule
• When he first meets you, he's probably an asshole about it. Erik doesn't go out of his way to touch you on purpose, but he won't take extra steps to stop himself from doing so. If the back of his hand brushes against yours as he storms away from another one of Charles' annoying lectures? Then so be it. Who cares if you pull back from him like you've been burned, clutching your skin tightly as you glare at his retreating form
• It will take a while for Erik to begin to understand you, much like it does for him to understand a lot of things about the rest of the world. I won't say that he ever officially apologizes for his past behavior toward you, but he definitely drops hints that he does regret it
• "Never thought I'd live to hear the Erik Lehnsherr himself say sorry for something he did. Next you'll be telling me you've always liked humans." Your eyes were wide in faux surprise as you stared at him one day, looking like you had just heard the best news of your life. It was a good thing you and Erik had a much better relationship than when you had first met, otherwise he wouldn't have had a second thought about shutting you up
• "All I said was that maybe I maybe could have been a bit nicer to you." He sighed, already regretting this entire interaction
• "Oh, you're not getting off that easy." You were already scrambling for the door, completely missing the way Erik rolled his eyes and flicked his hand up in preparation. "Charles! Charles, you'll never believe what just happened—"
• He ended up using your belt buckle to drag you across the room before you could embarrass him any further
• Once he's warmed up to you, I'd like to think that he's definitely used the fact that lots of people wear rings and bracelets to his advantage to stop people from touching you at bars or in crowds
• He swears up and down he doesn't get attached to anyone, and especially not someone that associates with the X-Men of all groups, but you've definitely have had a few people look at their hands around you in confusion while he's around. Almost as if someone else had a say in their actions
• "Big softie."
• "You do know I could kill you if I wanted to."
• "I'd like to retract my last statement, please and thank you."
𝐋𝐨𝐠𝐚𝐧 𝐇𝐨𝐰𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭 [𝐖𝐨𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐞]
• Logan doesn't give two shits about your strange request
• Not in the way that he ignores it like Erik, but rather in the way that he literally doesn't give a fuck if you want to be touched or not. He wasn't planning on touching you anyways, so it's not like he really has to think about it
• If anything, Logan is one of the only people who can even begin to understand your mindset. He's never been too fond of people just outright touching him without a warning first, especially if they were strangers, but that's what you get after being experimented on for years
• He'll have to get to both know and like you before he starts taking your words more seriously. Otherwise, all you're getting from him is a gruff noise of disinterest and a roll of his shoulders as he blows past you
• Or ar least that's what he'd like you to think
• "Watch it, pal." You barely had time to process what that noise was next to your ear before Logan was standing dangerously close to you. You were about to ask him to back away before you saw his hand up, and when you looked at his hand you saw it was closed around a strangers wrist; the likes of which was outreached in your direction and just about to make contact with you
• Logans rough tone and sharp glare had sent the fellow stumbling away with an apology, and left you standing there with a bewildered look on your face. It only grew larger when he refused to look at you afterward
• "Don't let it get to your head." Was all he huffed out in your general direction before walking off to continue the mission the both of you were on. Through the com's in your ears, you could hear the rest of the team asking you what was going on, and with a slow upward tick of your lip you finally answered
• "I think Wolverine here has gone a bit soft on my end guys."
• You were given the cold shoulder for the rest of the week by Logan, and every time he glared at you, you couldn't help but try to hold in laughter
• "See, this is why I'm not nice."
• "No no no I take it all back, I swear. You're so mean. You're the meanest, toughest person here, never done a good deed in your life—"
• "Shut the fuck up."
𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐞 𝐋𝐞𝐁𝐞𝐚𝐮 [𝐑𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞]
• She doesn't understand why you'd choose to have people not touch you
• For Marie, not being able to hug someone— to even so much as hold hands with the people she loved —is a curse. She wasn't such a fool to think that her mutation itself was the curse, Charles had managed to drill that thought out of her head a long while ago, but the side-effect that came with it would forever haunt her
• So when she found out that you actively took strides to make sure no one ever touched you (if possible), she was in disbelief
• "I just don't get it." She'd confessed to you out of the blue once. "How can you stand it? If I were you—"
• "But you're not." You cut her off and shrugged, voice devoid of any meanness or annoyance at the turn of conversation. "I get it. I must seem crazy to you. I'd imagine that you'd jump at the chance to be able to touch someone again. But that just isn't me. I can't stand the feeling of being touched. Makes me feel gross; inside and out. I don't ask you to understand it, just that you respect it. Yeah?"
• She had nodded slowly at you, not expecting the sudden explanation. It wasn't unwelcome, however. Quite the contrary. She'd rather understand you than stew in quiet confusion
• From that moment on, even if Marie thinks you're a little crazy in the head, she does her best to make sure that both herself and others take your wishes to heart
• You have to admit, it's nice having her look out for you. And it helps that she's one of the most powerful mutants on campus; one sideways look from her, and she could send anyone in the opposite direction from you if you need
𝐏𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐌𝐚𝐱𝐢𝐦𝐨𝐟𝐟 [𝐐𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐫]
• You're constantly having to remind him that you don't like people touching you
• It's not Peter's fault he forgets sometime. His brain is always going going going from one thing to the next. Thinking about the next mission, the quickest way to get from one end of the country to the other, how to beat that stupid kid at the arcade that keeps leaving him and his high scores in the dust—
• Okay so maybe he could do a bit of a better job of trying to listen
• "Peter, reach for the back of my neck again and I'm gonna break both of your legs." You didn't even have to turn around to know that he was itching to latch onto your neck, most likely to take you on a surprise trip a few states over. Or maybe just to the mall. He was spontaneous like that
• When you did manage to look up from your notebook and back at him, you found that Peter was already a good few feet away from you, holding up his hands with a deceivingly innocent smile; but respecting your wishes all the same
• "You sure you're not a secret nun or something?" He poked fun at the way you refused to let anyone touch you, even going as far to squint at you in an unconvinced manner. You ignored his clear misunderstanding of nuns to snort in amusement
• "No."
• "Could have fooled me, babe."
• He sped away before you had the chance to throw your papers at his head
• Peter's probably the kind of guy to constantly tease you to your face, but the moment you're not in sight and someone's ragging on you, he'll shut them down. He's done it many times to stray students in the hallways of the school who talk just a little too loud about your personal boundaries
• "I'm just saying, man, they're a little weird. The other day, I asked to borrow a pencil, and they threw it at me. While standing less than a foot away. It's just strange—"
• Less than a second later, the student was sent falling to the floor over his shoelaces, which were suspiciously tied together in contrast to moments ago when they had been placed in neat little bows
• The only sign that this hadn't been a freak accident was the telltale burst of wind that sped by the student and their friend, a faint laugh following in its wake
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"Stellar Collision"
Spencer Reid x F!Reader
Category: Smut (NSFW, 18+)
Word Count: 8.2k
Content Warning: Mild injury, Description of injury, Smut, Fingering (F receiving), Penetrative Sex, Using Astronomy as a Plot Device
A/N: Please ignore any inaccuracies with the scientific stuff and the smut- I'm just silly and Asexual. I picture this as late season 4 Spencer, but you can picture whatever Spencer you want bbg.
Summary: Everyone knows you and Spencer Reid work well together- actually, the entire team thinks you two are the most oblivious profilers to ever work for the FBI, but c'est la vie- they figure you'll crash into each other eventually.
=======
Shaking the hand of the lead detective you introduce yourself before gesturing to Spencer who hovers behind you, “... and this is Agent Weirdly Sticky, a.k.a. Dr. Spencer Reid.”
Spencer’s face scrunches in an odd fusion of disgust, confusion, and amusement. He fights off the laugh that bubbles up and just lifts his hand in an awkward wave. Pressing his lips into a thin line to avoid the smile threatening to break out on his face. JJ elbows you in the ribs, earning a small ‘oomph’ as she pushes you aside. 
It had become routine at this point, calling him weird names to break the tension between the team and locals. Spencer’s hands rest on your shoulders to steady you as JJ takes over the conversation. You chuckle, following an officer into the precinct conference room to get everything set up. Hotch doesn’t say anything about your antics for once, resigning to just accept that there was no stopping you. 
“You really need to stop doing that, they’re going to think you don’t take things seriously.” Spencer mutters to you quietly, his hip lightly bumping into yours as the two of you stick photos onto the provided whiteboard.
“Yeah, maybe, but their face is worth it. It’s like they think federal agents can’t joke, so at first they believe me.” You giggle, sliding your hand around his waist, unceremoniously picking him up and pivoting him around you. You swap places with him quickly to tack a few pieces of evidence to the board.
Spencer lets it happen, not offering any help as you move him. Not that you need it, you were more than strong enough. “But “Agent Weirdly Sticky”? They’re going to think I don’t shower or something.”
You laugh, “At least they won’t try and touch you.” Looking at the board, you tilt your head a little. “The handwriting in each of these is so similar but look-” You point at two series of numbers, “one writes their seven with a dash, and the other doesn’t.”
Spencer leans forward to look at it, his eyes squinting as his mouth drops open in focus. 
“I swear you need to start wearing your glasses again.” You snort, reaching out and placing your fingers under his chin to push his jaw closed. 
He bats your hand away, “Glasses obstruct my peripherals.”
“But you look cute with them.” You argue, sliding to stand behind him, “I miss them.” 
Flattening your hands, you place them on either side of his head, blocking his peripherals. He ignores you, trying to focus on the pages in front of him rather than the warmth radiating off of your palms. Only moving when his phone rings, you drop them on his shoulders, turning him a little so you could grab his phone from his front pocket. 
“Hey Garcia, what’s up?” You greet, “...yeah, it’s me, what do you have for us?”
The investigation continues like that, the two of you revolving around each other, splitting up only when necessary, bouncing profiles off of the other.
Everyone knew you worked well together. Spencer was comfortable around you, not as stiff and one track minded as he would be working alone. He turned to you for most things, and sometimes when working through things in his mind he would just stare at you- Managing to find most of his answers in the curve of your nose and the color of your lips. 
You mellowed out around Spencer, his ramblings filling empty spaces almost like a living white noise machine. It was hard for most people to believe how abrasive and short fused you could be working alone. Irritation ran rampant with local PD getting in the way, suspects being difficult, media running with half baked stories; whenever the tension in your jaw threatened to spring into a full on rage, Spencer was always there.  
“You’re telling me you released the profile to the press even though we specifically told you not to?” Your eyebrows raise, hands pushing your sleeves up to your elbows.
“The public needs to know what they’re dealing with.” The detective crosses his arms over his chest, lifting his chin in challenge.
“Yeah? Well now our Unsub knows exactly what to change to avoid us, this guy is smart and he is watching.” Your voice raises slightly, shoulders squaring as you step chest to chest with the man. “From this point on, you release nothing to the press without approval from our Liaison or SSA Hotchner.” 
The detective snorts, shaking his head, “Oh yeah? And who are you to tell me what to do?”
Spencer instinctively reaches out, hooking his finger around your belt loop. He tugs you backwards, putting space between you and the focal point of your mounting rage. You don’t relax, but you let him pull you back.
“I’m the woman who’s gonna punch a hole through your spinal cord.” Your tone is icy, and he can almost hear your jaw pop from how hard you’re clenching your teeth. Spencer keeps his finger hooked on your belt loop, cringing slightly at the threat. 
It’s not that he disagrees with you, it was out of line for them to release a statement to the public without the team’s permission; and it’s not that he thinks you can’t back up your statement, he is well aware that you can. Spencer just didn’t want you to get suspended for assaulting an officer. Again.
Hotch approaches, stepping between you and the detective, and- to your relief- backs you up.
“If you release anything more to the public you can consider that little boy as good as gone. If you want us to be able to catch the unsub before it’s too late, it’ll do you well to listen to my agents.” His sharp gaze lingers on the man’s face before he turns to you, “Go cool off, and stop threatening people.” 
You nod and turn to leave, missing the small tilt of Hotch’s head, gesturing for Spencer to go with. He obliges, quickly rushing after you. 
Pacing around in the conference room, you keep your arms folded, chewing on the nail of your thumb.
“Sit.” Spencer pulls out one of the chairs, and you follow his instruction. Having gone through this routine again and again, you move a few stacks of papers, opening up a space for him to sit on the table’s glossy surface.
“I was reading up on star systems, and typically stars will orbit around each other in small or large groups- but most are trinary with only three stars…” Spencer hops up onto the table, crossing his legs under himself. He settles into his position, leaning his arms on his legs as he watches your face. 
He can tell by the way your head tilts that you’re listening, unconsciously bringing your ear closer to him. Folding your arms across your chest again, you roll your jaw to relieve the tension from the joint. He pays attention to your demeanor, watching the pressure between your eyes melt away. Crossing your legs, you tilt your hips, turning your body to face him though your gaze stays cast to the floor. Spencer responds by unfolding his legs, stretching them out to rest his feet on the apex of your thigh. 
Hands finding their way to the laces of his converse, you untie and retie them as his melodic droning fills the room. You keep yourself from looking at him, wanting to hold onto your anger for just a little longer. Spencer knows that you would’ve stewed in your fury for hours alone- and it seemed that Hotch knew the same. 
“... but then you have star systems that are just two stars- a binary system. The Sirius star system is the most well known, but Sirius A is a lot bigger than Sirius B. Sirius B is a white dwarf- which has around the same mass as our sun but condensed into a star not much bigger than the earth.”
“Without the extra gravity from another star like in trinary systems… Do binary stars collide a lot?” You ask and Spencer beams, happy that you were finally relaxed enough to fully engage.
“Actually, it’s pretty rare for them to collide. They stay stable for the most part, but when they do collide it’s most likely due to their stability being thrown off by the exchange of mass or gravitational radiation.” Unlacing his left shoe fully, you replace them upside down, tying the bow at the toe of his converse. He expected you to do the same with the other shoe, but you leave it asymmetrical. 
Lifting your gaze from his shoes, your eyes settle on his face. Spencer chews on his bottom lip, looking for any underlying stress in your features. He finds none.
“So, when a stellar collision occurs, the way it reacts depends on what kind of stars were involved in the collision. Like, if it was a set of white dwarfs, the gravitational radiation would cause them to spiral inwards and-”
Spencer is cut off by JJ poking her head in the room, “Hey, the unsub responded to the statement they released.”
You sigh, “Come on, Gorgeous, you can tell me more later.” pushing Spencer’s feet off of you before standing. You lead the way out of the conference room. As he follows, he tries to ignore the way his face warms when you call him gorgeous. He knew it was stupid to focus on your little nicknames- you use them often enough that he should be used to it by now- but his heart flutters all the same.
Spencer stands at your side, his slender fingers finding their way back around your belt loop. He didn’t think you would do anything, but local cops could be unpredictable.
A few feet away, Emily leans over to Morgan, “So how long have they been dating?” She asks.
Morgan looks at her, quirking an eyebrow, “Who?”
“Reid and his attack dog, duh.” She points to the two agents attached at the hip next to JJ. Morgan snorts, covering his mouth with his hand.
“They’re not,” He shrugs, laughing when Emily’s head snaps to look at him, “I know- I know, we like to say they are, they just don’t know it yet.”
Emily looks back at the two of you, noting how you lean back into him. Your head tilts up and you whisper in his ear, motioning to whatever the unsub had sent loosely. “You’re kidding…”
“I wish I was,” Derek shakes his head, moving to place his hands on his hips, “you’re looking at a four year relationship between the two most oblivious profilers in the FBI.”
The entire team has thought the two of you were dating at some point- even Gideon before he left. In the beginning, Hotch came to the conclusion that the two of you lived together and got into the habit of only calling one on the assumption that you would arrive together. And you did. Always.
With the unsubs response, you and Spencer manage to put together a solid lead to who exactly you’re looking for. You hand the letter to Spencer, and break away to call Garcia- still with Spencer’s phone.
Garcia locates the unsub and the team hits the road. After securing your own bulletproof vest, you approach Spencer. Undoing the velcro on the sides of his vest to redo them. The velcro ripping apart is loud, drawing the attention of Rossi. He makes a face, looking over at Hotch and Derek who shrug in response. 
You make sure they’re snug, sliding your hands along the curve of his waist. Moving on to the straps over his shoulders, your face scrunches a little in focus. Your hands are warm, radiating their heat onto the skin of his neck. Spencer watches you, your lips parted slightly, the tip of your tongue fitted between your teeth. You shimmy the vest, eyes roving over his torso to make sure there were no loose points. 
Satisfied, you pat the FBI emblem on his chest, turning away without a word.
As the team approaches the house, you enter ahead of him. Moving methodically through the hallways, indicating clear rooms through your intercom. You enter the garage slowly, Spencer following closely behind you. 
“FBI, drop the gun and show me your hands!” You have your gun on the unsub, expression stone cold. The man huffs, sweat dripping from his nose and he switches between pointing the barrel of his hand gun at you or Spencer. He seems to settle on the latter and you step forward, rushing the unsub who in turn shoots. 
Spencer expects impact, but it doesn’t find him. Instead, coupled with the dull ringing in his ears from the shot, he can hear the crack of the man’s nose as the butt of your pistol slams into it. You gently push the little boy the unsub was holding towards Spencer, who cradles him to his chest. 
“We have the kid- garage.” He can hear you gasp into your intercom, the breath knocked from your lungs at the impact of the bullet. Slamming the unsub into the concrete and cuffing him, you attempt to take in air. The grimace on your face isn’t from rage, he can tell that much, the tension is sat in your throat rather than your jaw.
Once the man is cuffed beneath you, your knee holding his arms in place as he squirms, you huff. Long, drawn out, breaths are pulled into your lungs. Expanding them slowly as you feel the searing, white hot, tendrils of pain erupting from the base of your ribcage.
===  
“I’m fine,” You assure him for the fifth time since the team got back to the precinct. He goes to say something, but you hold up your hand, your finger pushing against his forehead, “Yes. I promise.”
“But-” He grabs your wrist, “but, even if you were shot in the “bulletproof” vest, the vest isn’t actually bulletproof. You could have bruised or cracked ribs, internal bleeding, even organ damage-”
Wiggling your arm out of his grip, you slap a hand over his mouth, “I got checked out by the paramedics, I’m fine.” He grumbles but nods, his eyes soft as he silently pouts. “Perfect, now go pack up your stuff.”
He slinks away, still pouting. Packing up the things in the conference room slowly, his worry plaguing his demeanor. You frown as you watch him. Making Spencer upset was the last thing you wanted to do.
Morgan slides up next to you, “Hey there rockstar, I know you’re just trying to reassure him. How is it really?”
Sighing, you rub a hand over your face, “He shot me at close range, the bullet pierced through and I’ve got the most wicked bruise and it hurts to breathe- but I’m definitely not telling him that.” 
Morgan laughs, his eyebrows raised in concern. “You know he just worries, let him take care of you.” He pats your shoulder in support, stalking away as Spencer comes back, bag slung over his shoulder. 
Landing back in Quantico, Spencer finds his way into your car- something he had taken a liking to. You were a good driver, and Spencer didn’t really like driving all that much. Having to focus on so many things means that he can’t talk as much as he wants to. But he sinks comfortably into the passenger seat of your car. His shoulders drooping as he leans his head back on the head rest. 
He tucks his duffel under his legs, relishing in the leg room your car offered. Since he was the only one who really rode with you he had the seat set how he liked.
“Are you gonna finish your rant about stellar collisions?” You ask, your voice soft as it carries over the sound of the car’s A/C. He turns his head, eyebrows furrowing slightly in confusion. You laugh, “You were explaining what would happen if two white dwarfs crashed into each other. Are you sure about that eidetic memory thing?” 
He rolls his eyes at your teasing, but he straightens up in his seat, taking a second to remember where he left off. 
“So, the two white dwarves would emit gravitational radiation, or waves, which would cause their orbit to become unstable- which would in turn cause the stars to spiral into each other,” He uses his hands as a model, “and once they collide, the force causes carbon fusion to ignite. White dwarfs are basically dead stars that no longer support fusions, but the fusion is re-ignited by the merge.”
You nod along, turning into the parking lot of your apartment building. Spencer is confused, usually you would drop him off first, but he decides to keep his question to himself, “And since the dwarfs are made up of that degenerate matter, the equilibrium needed to keep the merge stable is pretty much non-existent. So the thermal pressure combined with the unstable weight of them crashing into each other causes a full blown supernova.”
“Supernova, huh? That’s pretty cool.” You grin, putting the car in park. You turn your head to look at him, and he stays silent. A soft smile rests on his face, and he takes the time to memorize the way the warm lighting of the street lamp shines on your soft features.
You turn off the car, pocketing your keys as you open the car door, “I need your help with something really quick, then I’ll drop you off at home, okay?”
“Yeah, no, of course.” He gets out of the car, mindlessly grabbing his bag as he rushes to catch up with you. Unlocking your ground floor apartment, Spencer shuffles in after you. He kicks off his shoes, nudging them into a neat position with his foot before placing his bag next to them.
You shrug off your jacket, hissing lightly as you slowly stretch your arms over your head. Motioning with a small tilt of your head, you lead him further into your apartment, flicking on a few lights as you do. 
After all these years of knowing you, Spencer hadn’t been to your apartment much. He liked how homey it felt, dark wood furniture scattered around neatly, warm lighting, and a little clutter here and there. It was very you.
Opening the door to your bedroom, you usher him inside. Your hand was on his lower back to guide him, “Chill out, Pancake, I just need you to help me change my bandage.” You chuckle, pushing him a little firmer as he hesitates. You separate from him to grab the first aid kit from your bathroom, setting it down on the mattress when you return.
“I thought you said you were fine?” He asks, tilting his head and furrowing his eyebrows a little.
“I am, but I might’ve just told you that because I didn’t want you worrying.” Your confession frustrates him and he crosses his arms, “Don’t look at me like that you Grackle, just help me out, please?”
Spencer nods, dropping his hands at his sides, stuffing them into his pockets. He watches as you shuffle through the contents of your first aid kit. His hand mindlessly lifts to scratch at the inner part of his right elbow. Without looking away from your task, you reach one of your hands behind you. Gently hooking your fingers around his, you push his hand away.
“Okay, so, it definitely looks worse than it is.” You warn, turning to him. Before he can ask what you mean, you start unbuttoning your shirt. His head snaps to look away, the tense joint in his neck cracking at the force. 
His cheeks warm, his hands coming up to fiddle with his tie. Keeping his eyes averted, he wills himself to stop thinking all together. All trains of thought chug their way back to you, your face, your lips, your bare torso- he has to stop thinking. Blank. Blankness.
“Uh, if you’re gonna help me I kinda need you to look,” You chuckle awkwardly. He slowly turns his head, feeling like his head is sitting atop a stack of rusty gears. To both his relief and utter disappointment, you were wearing a tanktop. He doesn’t have time to decide if he should choose between the two, you shrug off the button up before quickly pulling the tank top over your head.
Spencer was afraid he wouldn’t be able to tear his eyes away from your chest, clad in a black bra, but his eyes were immediately drawn lower. At the base of your ribcage sits a large mass of purple and red splotchy skin spreading out from underneath a bloodied bandage. His mouth falls open when he sees it, his eyes flicking between your face and the bruising over and over. 
“Like I said,” you raise your hands, “It looks worse than it is. The bullet pierced through the vest a little and it hit skin.”
“What? Do you have any broken ribs, any organ damage, what if you’re bleeding internally?” He rushes, his hand cupping the curve of your ribs. His thumb grazes over the edge of the bandage.
Tensing at his touch, you respond swiftly, “I have a broken rib, a few fractures and a ton of bruising. The ribs took the brunt of the force, no organ damage.”
“That you know of-” 
You shush him, placing your hand over his. His fingers were warm against your bare skin. Making no move to remove his hand fully, you gently slide his hand lower to rest in the dip of your waist. He lets out a shuddering breath, briefly distracted by the softness of your side. 
Peeling back the bandage, you wince, swallowing the hiss bubbling at the back of your throat. The center of the impact was so red it looked black, the dark purple skin surrounding it giving the illusion of a black hole. Reminding himself of what exactly he was here for, Spencer sits on your bed, guiding you by your waist to stand between his legs.
He gets to work, gingerly removing his hand from your side to grab the contents of your kit. Working silently, he focuses on being as gentle as possible while also assessing the damage. His eyes squint softly, his jaw hanging open as he disinfects it. You watch him, your head tilted downwards, noting every small mole or freckle you can as you try to ignore the burning ache in your abdomen- both physically and metaphorically. 
Having him this close was supposed to be the norm, right? The two of you had been closer than anyone on the team for almost 5 years. But your heart pools into your stomach, settling itself in your wound. Just for the chance to be cared for by his hands. 
Spencer’s hands, warm and lightly calloused, slide along your ribs as softly as he can manage. His long, slender fingers, guiding a new bandage into place.
You had never considered that Dr. Spencer Reid would ever return your simmering feelings. Sure, he went along with your teasing, let you manhandle him, calmed you down, turned to you for everything, cried on your shoulder, comforted you. But that was just him, right? He was like that with everyone… Right?
No. Spencer was sweet, yes, but you knew. He was different around you, more open, more playful. Everyone on the team knows how you revolve, bound to each other via some inexplicable force. He knows how you like your tea, he knows what snacks you like, he knows the ins and outs of your past relationships. But he knows everything, from the probability of finding a four-leaf clover, to quantum physics. You weren’t special.
But once he’s done securing the bandage just beneath your sternum, he looks up at you. His eyes rounded and shining, their honey-like color looking richer than ever. 
And you feel like the only woman in the universe. 
It’s hard not to feel like you’re completely under his spell when the warm hazel color of his eyes bore into your own. The patterning on his irises were just as enchanting, throwing you into the labyrinth that has held your heart at its center for the past 4 years. 
“How often do you need to change it?” He whispers, suddenly finding himself closer to you, his warm breath wafting over the center of your chest. 
“Just once a day after this.” Is your breathy response. Your hands lift, gently pushing the front pieces of his hair behind his ears, “Your hair is getting long.”
“Should I cut it?” He asks, gaze unwavering. You shake your head no, brushing your fingers through his soft brown waves. The touch is attentive and gentle. The air grows thick with every passing moment, bathing every touch in an intimate nature. 
Spencer’s hands linger at your sides, fingers ghosting along your waist. He looks up at you, his eyes somehow softening further. You almost melt on the spot, your hands finding their place at the nape of his neck. Mindlessly, you press the pads of your thumbs into the space just below his skull. The pressure alleviates some of the tension in his neck, his eyes fluttering closed as you begin to move them in a circular motion.
“You really worry too much…” You murmur, face flushing as you watch his expression melt into contentment. 
“Hard not to when you’re rushing at a sociopath with a gun…” He mumbles in response, looking at you through his eyelashes. “Especially when this bullet was meant for me.” His thumb slides over the bandage, his bottom lip jutting out a little as his eyes round at the edges. 
That damn puppy dog look. You hated it. He used it in any situation where he wasn’t getting his way. He knew it worked on you, probably thinking that you just thought he was too cute to resist. Not quite, as much as you did think it was cute- it was just such a turn-on.
Scoffing, you push away the mounting arousal pooling in your stomach, “Neither of us died, so I call it a win…” his gaze doesn’t waver, clearly seeking to break you, “Stop looking at me like that.” You grumble, placing a hand over his eyes. 
Spencer laughs, reaching up to pull your hand away. His fingers curl around you, sliding against the sensitive skin of your inner wrist. “Like what?”
Rolling your eyes you sigh, “Come on, Handsome, don’t be coy. You know exactly what I’m talking about.”
His fingers slide up your wrist, spreading out to flatten your palm. Spencer’s hands are large, enveloping yours easily as he intertwined his fingers with your own. You had spent the last 4 years perfecting the art of hiding the way you feel about Spencer. But it was impossible to hide what he was doing to you here and now.
After years in steady orbit of each other, you were finally spiraling inwards.
He keeps his right hand intertwined with yours, his other hand sliding up your torso slowly. He keeps his eyes trained on your face, watching the miniscule changes in your flushed expression. His fingers slide along the band of your bra. The texture of the lace rubs along the pads on his fingertips. He guides his hand up, breathing shakily as it ghosts over the apex of your chest. You bristle at the contact, your hand gripping his tightly in an attempt to keep your composure. 
The only thing breaking up the silence permeating the room is the uneven breathing shared between you. Spencer takes his time, tracing the outline of your collarbone. He follows the line of it, dipping his index and middle finger into the center crevice of your clavicle. Dragging his fingers up the center of your throat, his short, dull nails lightly scratching the sensitive skin. You let out a strained hum, his fingers feeling the vibration of your vocal chords. His inner thighs press against the outside of your own, reminding you of how exactly you ended up here.
Following the line of your jaw, his knuckles gently tilt your head down. He keeps his eyes locked on you, still giving you that dreaded doe eyed stare. Once his hand reaches your face, he tears his gaze from your eyes, following his fingers as he caresses the soft skin of your cheek.
Turning his hand, Spencer lets his slender fingers flatten against your jaw. His thumb runs along your bottom lip, tracing the warm skin and gently pressing into it. Watching as the color of your lips changes with the light pressure, he finally speaks.
“The reason your heart races, or you feel nervous when you’re in love… is because of the sudden release of hormones. Dopamine, Cortisol, and Norepinephrine spike, but the mood stabilizer, Serotonin, drops.” His thumb gently tugs on your bottom lip.
“Do I make you nervous, Dr. Reid?” You whisper, your lips gently pressing into the pad of his thumb. Reaching up your free hand, you gently slide it under the front of his cardigan. Pressing it into his chest you could feel his heart hammering behind his ribcage.
Spencer nods, his bottom lip fitting between his teeth as he looks up at you. His face is flushed, the heights of his cheekbones radiating heat from the blood pooling beneath his skin. Adjusting in his seat, he pulls his legs towards himself, fitting one of his knees between your legs to spread them apart.
You look at him in surprise, but he dips his gaze to watch what he was doing. He puts his knees together, placing them between your own. Spreading his legs, he hooks them around your calves, forcing you forward. Yelping, you try your hardest not to collapse into him. You manage to get one of your knees onto the mattress before he fully knocks you over. Ignoring the way his gaze lingers on your flushed face, you settle into his lap, knees on either side of his hips.
Spencer could feel the strap of your thigh holster pressing into his leg. He unclasps his hand from yours, sliding it up your knee. He finds the buckles on the two straps digging into the flesh of your thigh. Maintaining eye contact while he unclasps them, you lift yourself off of him so he can take it off easier. He discards it onto the other side of the bed before letting his hand fall back to rest on your thigh. Spencer was constantly searching your face for approval, touching you slow and simple- He always made it a priority to make you comfortable. Mirroring his other hand, the one holding your face slides down the side of your torso to cup your thigh.The pressure of his touch increases, kneading your muscles through your jeans.
Your hands rest on his shoulders, gripping them lightly as he touches you. Growing restless, you reach down to unbutton his cardigan, sliding it off of his shoulders. He assists in taking it off, throwing it haphazardly across the room. His hands return to their places, but he tilts his head a little, his lips parting as his eyes slide across your face. 
Rocking your hips forward pulls a soft moan from his lips, his fingers curling into your thighs. “I- I don’t… think we should do this…” He gasps, contradicting himself as his hands slide up to your hips, pulling you against him again. 
“We don’t have to…” You gasp in response, the stimulation only slightly dulled by the thick material of your jeans. 
“I want to- but, you’re injured.” He mumbles, leaning forward to press his lips against your collarbone.
You shake your head, sighing at the feeling of his warm lips, “You won’t hurt me.” Loosening his tie, you pull it over his head and toss it to the side.
“I could- not on purpose, but strenuous activity should be avoided during recovery.” Spencer argues, his voice weakened by the way your hips slide into his. His breath falls from his lips heavily, fanning your face as you lean in close.
Laughing, you turn your head to press a kiss to his temple, “It doesn’t feel like you want to stop.” You could feel him underneath you, already straining against his slacks. He swallows, his Adam’s apple sliding up and down. The hands on your hips tighten their grip, digging into your flesh. He keeps his eyes on you, leaning forward to press a small kiss to your sternum.
Spencer’s hands knew exactly what to do. Sliding over the apex of your hips, his thumbs pressing firmly into your soft skin. Traveling slowly up, the weight of his palms kneading your sides as the tips of his fingers find the band of your bra. The pressure of his touch lightens as he lifts his palms off of you. His fingers curl slightly, leaving just a few fingertips touching the lacy fabric. 
Reading you like a book, his hands circle around to your back. Finding the clasp, he makes quick work of undoing your bra. He makes no move to fully remove the garment, just flattening his hands against your exposed back. His fingers press into your spine, running along the outsides of it.
You slide the bra off, throwing it over your shoulder to join your shirt and his cardigan on the floor. His eyes leave yours, trailing along your skin, uninterrupted by fabric. One hand stays on your back, the other sliding around your side. The pressure of his touch lightens as he reaches your front, very careful to not disturb your injured ribs. 
His hand flattened on your torso scoops the underside of your breast, his thumb caressing the soft skin. Watching how your body molds to the shape of his hand, his lips part slightly, almost studying you. 
Spencer presses a few more kisses to your sternum, slowly making his way up to your collarbone. Your hips continue to slide against his, pulling soft breathy moans from the both of you. His noises are muffled by your neck as he presses his lips to the center of your throat. It almost hurts how badly you want him, your desire clouding over any possible pain stemming from your ribs.
Moving as quickly and as gently as possible, Spencer twists his body. He slowly lowers your back to the mattress, settling between your legs as he hovers over you. He continued to grind against you, the feeling of him through four layers of clothing was enough to drive you up the wall. 
It dawned on you then how easy this felt.
Just like everything with him, it all came to you like the most natural thing in the universe. The two of you had spent years memorizing everything about each other. You never thought it would translate so well into this situation. Then again, you never thought it was possible for you to end up in this position with him. Your hands find the buttons of his shirt, unfastening them quickly as his mouth finds your throat again. He takes his time exploring the warm skin of your neck, very gently nipping at your pulse. He takes in every noise he draws from you, filing them away in his mind with every roll of his hips. 
Just as easily as the dusk slides into the quiet of night, you turn to putty in his hands.
Trying to focus on getting his shirt off, you’re distracted by the intense way he kisses your neck. You hadn’t really expected Spencer to be so… possessive with his mouth, but in hindsight it made sense to you. 
He was possessive in other ways, always taking the seat next to you on the jet, calling dibs on partnering with you, not letting anyone else help you if he was nearby, getting pouty when your attention was drawn elsewhere. Listening to his heavy breathing as his warm, open mouthed, kisses press into your throat you’re suddenly aware of every way he’s laid his claim on you to the people around you.
To everyone else, you were his.
His hands hold your chest, squeezing and caressing the soft skin. Spencer’s teeth slowly drag along the side of your neck, biting you very gently, careful not to leave any marks where anyone would see. Your breathing comes out heavy and labored, your face scrunching slightly as you feel the strain of your ribs with each breath.
Spencer’s large palms slide down your torso after one last squeeze, finding the hem of your pants. He quickly gets your belt off, letting it clatter to the floor and unbuttoning your jeans. Pulling away from your neck. his eyes meet yours as he hooks his fingers over the hem of your underwear. He shimmies them down the length of your legs along with your pants, tossing them across the room carelessly. Pupils dilated wide, he drinks in the look of you like a starved man. His hand finds its way to your cheek, his eyebrows furrowing slightly at the pained look on your face. His thumb presses against the space between your brows, smoothing out the tension building there as your chest rises and falls heavily.
“Try to relax your breathing,” He whispers, pressing his lips to your cheek. His hand slips away from your face, the soft noise of his silver belt buckle unfastening filling your ears. Attentive kisses are pressed along the perimeter of your face, urging you to try and calm your racing heart. 
The air around you is cold, a stark contrast to the ever growing heat pooling between your legs. His warm chest presses against yours, one hand curling around your knee, the other sliding along your bare inner thigh. 
A soft moan falls from your lips, “You’re not exactly helping,” You whisper, feeling his lips press against your temple.
“It doesn’t feel like you want to stop,” He replies, throwing your words back at you as his fingers slide against your clit teasingly. You writhe underneath him, your hands sliding up to tangle in his hair. Trying your hardest not to move too much as his fingers slowly circle the bundle of nerves. If you move too much and aggravate your ribs, you might have to stop. His slender fingers slide along you, dipping into your entrance briefly before continuing to tease. You whine, lifting your hips to meet his hand as best as you can. 
As much as Spencer wants to keep teasing, his need to please you overwhelms any other desire that may be festering. He pushes his middle finger into you, kissing the corner of your mouth as a guttural moan is pulled from your lips. 
His thumb finds your clit, rubbing soothing circles into it as his finger fucks into you. His face remains pressed into yours, kissing along your cheekbone lovingly. Adding his ring finger, he pushes it into you slowly and allows you to adjust to the difference in size. His long, slender,  fingers slide in and out of you, the ministrations deliberate and slow. 
Despite the slow pace of his hand, the length and size of his fingers provides overwhelming stimulation. You had always loved how large his hands were, spending nights wondering and fantasizing about how they would feel touching you like this. But this was way better than any piss poor scenario you could dream up. 
Your head falls back onto the pillow, mouth hanging open as deep, breathy moans fall from your lips. Hissing a bit, you try to calm your breathing.
“Don’t stop…” You sigh out, knowing he was noticing the way your breathing changes in kind to the pain spreading from your fractured bones. Spencer listens to your request, his fingers curling slightly. The sensation draws out a loud gasp as the tips of his fingers press into you. Your hands move down his neck, sliding along his back. 
Your head swims with intense pleasure, not bothering to care about how badly your ribs hurt with every breath you take. Spencer’s name falls from your mouth like a mantra, eyes closing as you focus on not writhing underneath him. Hands pressing into his shoulder blades you pull him flush against you, feeling his hard length against your inner thigh as he pushes you closer to the edge with his fingers. 
The way he presses into your inner thigh pulls a small noise from the back of his throat. He speeds up the way his fingers fuck into you, rutting against your thigh instinctually to keep the friction going. His thumb presses into your clit, the pressure firmer as he continues to circle around it. The feeling draws out a strained moan from your lips, your hips jerking involuntarily. 
Spencer can feel you starting to fall apart underneath him, his lips pressing firmly into your neck. His soft gasps and moans muffled by your warm skin as he uses your thigh. Tightening around his fingers, your legs shake, and you mumble his name over and over. Biting down on your lip, his free hand slides just under your breast, holding your torso down when he feels your back begin to lift from the bed. Your orgasm crashes over you and the room spins, tremors vibrating through your spine.
You gasp, panting to try and catch your breath. His lips find your face again, smothering your cheeks and nose with affection as you come down from your high slowly. His desperate grinding against your thigh pulls you back to reality and you gently push on his shoulder to get his attention.
“Spencer… I need you…” You whine, your hands cupping his face. Taking his bottom lip between his teeth, he nods. There’s a soft twitch to his face when he pulls his hips away from your thigh, his eyes searching yours for final approval. You nod, adoring the amber color at the center of his irises.
Gripping himself in his hand, he takes a second to slide his tip through your folds, pulling a desperate moan from the both of you. The tenderness left from your last orgasm causes you to whine and throw your head back onto the pillow. 
“Wait…” He gasps, looking up at you, “I- do you have a condom?” 
You can’t help but laugh a little, shaking your head, “I’m on birth control, it’s fine… please.” Your fingers curl and play with the long hair at the nape of his neck. 
He hesitates, seemingly working through the probabilities and statistics of not using one, but he nods. Spencer looks back down, lining himself up with you. One hand on your hip, the other wrapped around himself. 
“Tell me to stop if you need to,” He says, voice shaking with his heavy breathing. You nod, eyes locked on his features. The shadows of his face as he hovers over you are dark, seeping into the dips and curves of his brow and cheek bones. He looked ethereal.
When his tip pushes into you slowly, you gasp. His mouth finds yours, kissing you needily as he works his way inside of you. 
Spencer breathes heavily into your mouth as his fingers dig into the flesh of your outer thighs, “I… I love you.” He declares, his lips moving against yours with fervor.
Your fingers tangle into his hair, his kisses not allowing you to verbally reciprocate. You loved him. There was no doubt about that. But when he’s fully inside of you, filling you completely, there is nothing you can do to stop the way you ignite underneath him.
Moaning into his mouth, your legs shake from your earlier orgasm. He gives you time to slowly adjust, shivers running up and down his spine as your muscles flutter around him. Spencer slows down his kisses, resorting to soft presses as he waits for your signal. 
After a moment you nod, whispering a soft “I love you” and kissing him in return. With your quiet permission, he pulls his hips back. Letting out a strained groan, his lips loosely against yours, he rolls his hips back into you.
The feeling of you wrapped around him completely, your hands in his hair, your mouth against his. There is nothing that can compare to this. Nothing.
Spencer rocks into you slowly, keeping your hips pressed against the mattress. The angle is perfect, and the least likely to aggravate your rib cage. He’s fully in tune with how you feel underneath him, his hands gently sliding over your hips in a soothing motion. Feeling no need to rush, he pulls back from your lips to watch the way he slides in and out of you.
“I… I would beg you to go faster if my ribs didn’t feel like they were on fire.” You hum, your hands brushing over the perimeters of his face. His face scrunches a little and he almost slows to a stop, but you shake your head, “Don’t- don’t stop, please, I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?” He whispers shakily, one of his hands sliding down to press circles into your overly sensitive clit.
A whine falls from your lips at the feeling, “Yes, yes… I’ve never felt so good…” Your muscles flutter around him, the added sensation pulling your thoughts from the deep ache ringing from your torso. His lips meet yours again, one of his palms cupping the back of your hand. Pressing your hand firmly into his cheek, his mouth moves against yours in slow, loving motions. The amount of tongue he used was a pleasant surprise, his kisses never seeming to still. 
Keeping up his languid pace, Spencer memorizes the way you feel- which isn’t hard with his memory, but he files away every moan, every flutter of your core, every lingering kiss. It was all so perfect. 
The remnants of your first orgasm buzzes in your core, your entire body felt like it was on fire. You could feel yourself reaching the edge, your kisses getting sloppier and his name falling from your lips in quick succession. His hips roll deep into you, making up for the slow pace with the thumb rubbing evenly over your clit. 
His shoulders tense, the kiss between you breaking into just a sequence of heavy breaths against your lips. Hips twitching, the feeling of you around him almost unbearable as the pleasure causes his head to swim. All of the facts and knowledge constantly swimming through his mind fall silent, replaced with your soft whines and the feeling of your soft skin under his palms. 
“Spencer… god, please- come for me…” You murmur against his lips, your hands moving into his hair and sliding down the back of his neck. Your nails lightly scrape along his sensitive skin, coaxing him over the edge. It’s all he can do to keep his slow pace, lifting his face away from yours to look down at you. Your eyes are slightly glassed over, looking up at him with a pleading gaze. The eye-contact is the final push he needed, his fingers circling around your clit quickly. 
You gasp at the change in pace- the feeling of him inside of you, the length of him brushing against your sweet spot, his sweet gaze on your face all cause your muscles to contract as your second orgasm crashes over you. Spencer follows quickly behind you, groaning loudly as his hips stutter and he pushes himself into you as deep as he can. His release coats your insides, the added sensation pushing you even farther. Mouth falling open, his moans spike to a slightly higher pitch as he slowly rides out his own orgasm. 
Heavy gasps fall from your lips as the two of you come down from your high. Spencer’s lips press against yours sloppily, his hands reaching up to hold your face firmly. He pulls out of you slowly, listening to the soft whine that falls from your lips.
Overly sensitive from the two back to back orgasms, your head swims. Spencer attempts to pull away from you more, but your hands loosely capture his wrists and pull him back. Lips meeting again in a lazy fashion, your mind is in a daze, “I love you…” is softly mumbled into his mouth, your hands holding his to your face. 
“I love you too… How do your ribs feel?” He asks, kissing up the bridge of your nose.
You sigh into his affection, your thumbs rubbing the outside of his hands, “I feel great… it’s like a forgotten bruise.” Your lips pull into a sloppy grin.
“That’s because pain can be reduced by orgasms,” Is his response, pulling a soft laugh from you, “Potent analgesics, which are basically pain killers, are released in the endorphins during sex.”
“Maybe we should do this until my ribs are healed,” You hum, pressing a few soft kisses to his cheek.
Spencer laughs a little, shaking his head, “Let me get you cleaned up.”
He attempts to pull away again but you keep his hands held in your grip. You were still exhausted, your hold loose. Spencer could easily wriggle away, but he humors you with a few more kisses.
“Stay… I want you to stay.” You whine, tilting your head and kissing the corners of his mouth. “Please?” 
Spencer nods, moving to settle next to you. Being mindful of your injury, he wraps an arm around your shoulders. Scooting closer and  pressing his chest against your arm, he kisses your temple sweetly. The gravity of your connection holds your cores together in the wake of your collision.
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I know it would probably be a logistical nightmare to also make this accessible to the actual people represented, but I think it would be cool to have a game where the whole point is that every character has different limitations, that make it impossible or at least incredibly difficult to get past the whole game without switching them every once in a while, and the way you switch is by going to another character and asking their help with something.
Like you start out the game with one character and go "oh huh, the colour sceme of this game is really cool, really interesting use of such a limited palette", play through the puzzles for a while, and then encounter something where you're supposed to arrange some slightly differently coloured puzzle pieces to the right order by shade or something, and it's goddamn impossible. No matter how many methods you try, it's just not clicking, no matter how logical your solutions seem, no matter how clearly they can't be arranged in any other way that'd make more sense.
And maybe you go online to ask people "hey I'm stuck in the colour puzzle, what the hell am I supposed to do to get past this?" and someone tells you to go find one of the other playable characters and ask for their help. Which sounds patronising and stupid but you're stuck so you might as well give it a try. You go to one of the other characters, choosing the dialogue option to go "hey I need a hand with something, I can't do this on my own", and when they go "sure, let's go", your controls now switch to the other character.
And the colour scheme switches immediately. The aesthetic limited palette has changed to a far wider range, there's details in the environment that you hadn't noticed, like the muted faint flowers on the ground are actually bright red, the greyish shirt that your first character was wearing is actually striped with orange and green. The first POV character is colourblind, this whole time you haven't been able to perceive the difference between green and red. Solving the colour arranging puzzle with the other character is a breeze.
And this is the repeating theme of the game - every character has their own limitations, and while none of the puzzles are easy, you learn to think "maybe I should ask someone to help me with this" whenever you've been stuck for an unreasonable amount of time. You need to grab a buddy along for the quests, or you'll need to go back to get one eventually, and the way the game is structured somehow ensures that you can't just tactically dodge the limitation puzzles beforehand. Deaf character's POV doesn't have the audio clues that different pieces of the same puzzle make a different clicking sound, the puzzle with garbled numbers on it stops being garbled when you're not playing the character with dyscalculia.
You slowly get to know the whole cast, and occasionally help them out with things, too. You know which character could probably help with something you're stuck with, but while they'd be glad to come help, they're unfortunately stuck doing some task that could take you 20 minutes but is going to take them all afternoon, and you can offer help. Sometimes the helping-a-buddy-out minigames don't come with any direct transactional reward, you can just help a friend with something just because you can.
And the game's whole goal isn't to just illustrate how different people have different strengths, and sometimes things that are easy for you are hard for someone else, and vice versa, but to condition the player to think "maybe I should just ask someone to help, instead of wasting time struggling on my own."
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cattamouche · 3 months
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scaramouche has flawless skin. his complexion is unnaturally perfect, with a kind of smoothness to it only found on porcelain dolls. it consistently leaves you wondering how on earth people haven't caught on to the fact that he truly isn't human. he was delicately crafted by the steady hands of a god, it's crystal clear.
his eyes are bright, yet sharp and intimidating. his nose is sloped just right, and his lips are small but plump, with a permanent light rosy tint to them. honestly, you wish raiden ei had done a quicker and sloppier job, maybe then he wouldn't be turning so many heads on the regular. you think you should offer putting a paper bag over his head one of these days, maybe that would keep the terribly possessive part of you at bay.
and when your jealousy starts to get the better of you on this day, a petty idea strikes you. swiftly, you creep towards your shared bedroom and pick out a light pink lip gloss from your vanity. when its time to bid him goodbye for another one of his missions, assigned by the dendro archon herself, he doesn't suspect anything. in fact, a kiss goodbye from you is expected. if you were to skip it he'd insist, standing still at the doorframe staring right into your eyes with a quizzical look and a hint of disappointment, almost looking like a sad wet cat.
once you've planted a kiss on his pale cheek, you're only graced with the littlest of time to admire your work. it's not too bright to look ridiculous, but it's also not too faint to go unnoticed. a job well done indeed. so when you close the door behind him, you can't help but let a little laugh slip. you'll get a bit of a scolding once he's back, but the mark of your lips on his cheek, the clearest sign that he's taken aimed at anyone that looks his way, is worth it.
and if you admit to your jealousy when he eventually comes home and asks you for the reason of this little stunt, all he'll do is sigh and ask you to refrain from doing it again. and what he chooses to keep secret, locked away within the hollow spot of his non existent heart, is that he finds your possessiveness endearing. that it's ridiculous for you to let such a thing bug you when he would never give anyone else the time of day. certainly not in that way. instead, he chooses to pull you into a loose hug and change the conversation into how you spent the rest of your day.
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qdbs-writes · 1 year
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How do you think the Cullens would act around a disinterested crush? Maybe they're fated but reader isn't having it lol
(I love your twilight writing btw thank God someone is still doing it 🤤🤤)
ah it has been many moons since I've gotten a twilight request yay!
Cullen Clan Reacting To Their Crush Being Disinterested In Them
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Carlisle Cullen
Being alive for just over 400 years tends to give one a good perspective on life and the bigger picture, and Carlisle sure has a pretty good idea of how all things pan out. So you're not interested in him? That's fine, Carlisle can wait for as long as you need to change your mind.
In the meantime, Carlisle will continue to maintain your friendship and continue to show just how hard he's worked to become the kind caring father figure he is. He knows you'll fall for him, eventually.
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Esme Cullen
Obviously, she's not going to stop caring about you just because you don't return her feelings. But she might switch up how she shows her affection.
Rather than flirty winks and suspiciously candle-lit wine tastings, she'll back up to more traditionally motherly affections. Making sure you're eating right, baking cookies, etc. And of course, giving you homemade soup when you're sick is still one of her favourite things to do, no need to stop now.
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Edward Cullen
Of course, you're not interested, how could anyone love a monster like him? Who did he think he was, thinking he was worthy of your love? Or so his inner monologue goes.
But it's really not that dramatic, it almost never is, Edward just sprung his crush on you suddenly and it caught you off guard. It was largely the excessively long preamble about how he was an irredeemable murderer that put you off first, but of course, he won't realise that until considerably later.
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Rosalie Hale
She's a little relieved actually. All her mortal and immortal life, Rosalie has been aggressively pursued by people she wasn't particularly interested in, so the fact that she can crush on someone who isn't really that interested is a wonderful change of pace.
For the first time ever, Rosalie has butterflies in her stomach, she fumbles with her words when she speaks to you, and she feels like a silly, mortal teenage girl again, begging her mother to let her go to the dance just so she can sneak away to catch a glimpse of someone just like you.
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Emmett Cullen
You and Emmett had been good friends for a while so when he casually drops a blissful "We should get married" into the conversation, you initially choke on your drink in laughter.
Emmett's a little heartbroken that you'd laugh at something like that, considering that he was being 100% serious. But since you've known him, the both of you have been constantly cracking up jokes, trying to get on each other's nerves, so no wonder you thought this was another one of his pranks. He decides to take this reaction as a blessing, you have no idea he's actually into you, now he knows he has to work out a different way to confess his feelings for you.
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Alice Cullen
She's a little confused obviously, having multiple visions of the two of you in a romantic relationship kind of gave her the impression that it might've been going to come true, but your disinterest says something else altogether.
But the worst part is that those damn visions of you and her together keep coming back, taunting her, luring her in deeper to despair with the thoughts of what might be. It's all getting so intense, so she decides to skip town for a bit, see if that changes anything, or at least helps her clear her head.
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Jasper Hale
Oh well, so you're not interested in a romantic relationship, so what? Doesn't mean you can't still be friends. Doesn't mean he can't be the charming Southern gentleman he is. Doesn't mean he can't still pull out chairs or open doors for you. Or send anonymous bouquets to your house. Or leave your favourite snacks in your locker when you're having a rough day. Of course not.
It doesn't mean he can't worry about other people who might want to date you. Doesn't mean he can't scare off people who'd be bad for you. I mean, what else are friends for?
3K notes · View notes
trivia-yandere · 20 days
Text
divine intervention
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you'll do anything to have your own baby one day - even to go against your morals and allow a wiccan to help you. same universe as metamorphosis
warning: cheating/affair, cursing, mentions of infertility and miscarriages, blood (reader is cut), rituals, smut, licking, voyeurism, breeding kink, creampie, character death, nipple sucking/play, dirty talk, oral sex, fingering, overstimulation, squirting, rough sex, fingering, begging, character deaths, slight degradation/humiliation, deepthroating, face slapping, blood drinking/cannibalism, rough sex
word count: 10.243
Halloween Masterlist
@sweetempathprunetree @darkuni63 @momnomnom @bangtans-momma @chimmy-licious @investedreader
You’re wet and cold, body trembling as the harsh rain fully covers your frame. You’re blinking away droplets of rain water from your eyelashes, eyes staring right at your target. You stopped dead in tracks when you noticed the familiar car park right into the parking lot and got out of said car - the passenger door had opened as well.
You had gotten out of your car prepared to confront him, but you didn’t. Your heart sank when  they both entangled their fingers together, hearing a few struggling laughter even through the rain, as they ran towards the motel doors.
You watched as your husband entered the motel room with the woman - obviously who he was going to leave you for - and closed the door behind them. Through the closed blind, you witness the lights flicker on and behind them, their silhouette engulfing in a hug.
You swallow thickly, your throat hurting as you think about the fact that your marriage was going to be ending - and yet maybe you should’ve listened to him the first time when he asked for said divorce. You had only thought he was upset with you and eventually, the both of you would come together once more.
Your legs pick up and you’re stomping towards the motel room. Your heart is already shattered and now you’re angry.
You didn’t deserve this. You were a good wife to him and you remained by his side with all the bullshit he went through - all the shit he has put you through. In the end, where did it leave you both? Down the path of a divorce while you sit at home alone and he’s out with another woman.
You stop right outside the motel door, contemplating if you should be doing this now. It was a week prior when you caught sight of the motel receipt - you had been washing clothes and decided to wash his. You checked his pockets to assure nothing would be damaged and in the end, only your heart was. No man is going to a motel in the same town he lives in if it wasn’t because he was creeping with another woman.
There were signs - of course there were signs. You chose to ignore them all. The sudden “work phone calls” and “staying overtime” should have struck you as off - but you were blinded by love for your husband that you didn’t allow yourself to see what the fuck was in front of you.
Your fist connects with the door rapidly, banging against it with all your might that your knuckles begin to throb - but you didn’t give a damn at this moment. You had gone to the same motel each night that he had not come home and waited to see if his car would be here - and tonight you happened to be lucky.
There’s shuffling behind the door and when it swings open is when you attack, your fist connecting to the face of your husband. The woman screams in shock and comes between the two of you.
“What the hell-”
Maybe it was the adrenaline that gives you such strength and courage. Maybe the rain and heavy wind has caused you to get sick faster than usual and now you have super powers; who the hell knows? It only took one punch for the woman to fall onto her ass and clench her nose and by the end of it all, you know that you’d feel guilty because surely this wasn’t her fault. She didn’t owe you any loyalty.
“Y/N!”
Your husband is grabbing your shoulders, eyes wide at the act of being caught red-handed. “How did you-”
“Shut the fuck up.” You hiss, having no desire to explain yourself to him. It was you that needed to be asking the important questions. “This is the overtime you’re putting in?” you ask him. “This,” you point to the woman on the ground. “is the work calls?”
Your husband shakes his head, unable to form words. What could he truly say? It was obvious that this was an affair and you weren’t dumb enough to fall for any more lies when it was slapped in your face like this. 
“Listen-”
“When did it start?” you interrupt once more. “How long-”
“I asked for a divorce!” your husband hisses and instantly sighs. He didn’t want to do this here. “Can we talk-”
“We can talk right here.” you say, yanking yourself away when he goes to reach for you. “So that’s it? You want a divorce?” you scoff. “After I stayed when all your business ventures went to shit? All your investments went downhill?”
Your husband's eyes widen at your words and he takes a step back.
“Don’t look like that now.” you scoff. “It was my money that kept us afloat.”
“My apologies, Y/N, for not being a trust fund baby!” your husband retorts. “I don’t have mommy and daddies money to fall back on like you do!”
You lick your lips, swallowing back more harsh insults you could dish out. You nod your head with a shrug of your shoulders. 
“We’ve been together for years and the relationship has gone nowhere.” your husband states. “I thought a divorce would be mutual-”
“Mutual?” you snort. 
“You know what I want, Y/N.” he murmurs. “We both know what we want and you cannot do it. I can’t…” his eyes blink away from your face, unable to look you in the eye as he says it. “...I don’t want to adopt. I want to have my own child. And you don’t want to do surrogacy-”
“You’re divorcing me because I cannot carry a child.” you state. “I see.”
“It’s deeper than that, Y/N and you know it.”
“What else is there?” you ask. “We were fine prior to me finding out.” One too many miscarriages to be exact. You recall the day your heart sank when you were told the low possibility of you actually having a child - and you refused to keep trying to just get let down.
“Tomorrow,” you began, eyes glancing at the woman. She doesn’t look at you and you wonder just who she is and what her intentions were with your husband - now ex. Was she planning on getting into a relationship with him or was this just them fucking in cheap motels? “you can come get you stuff from the house.”
Your husband swallows but he nods.
“I’ll have my mommy and daddy call our family lawyer.” you say, voice laced with sarcasm and venom. “We’ll sort something out. I’ll tell you this now that the most I’m willing to let you keep is your car.”
Your husband watches you leave, back out in the heavy rain. You enter your car and sit for a moment, mind racing with the events that just transpire. The rain hides your view of outside your windshield and you have yet to start your car. You sit idly in the cold car and listen to the sound of said rain hit against it.
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It doesn’t get easier with time, you note, and your home only feels empty and cold without his presence. You told yourself this was for the best - this is what he wanted after all. Soon, the divorce will be finalized and he will be someone else’s problem.
Even now you sit alone in a diner, stirring your tea. It’s quiet and only low music plays through the speakers. It’s also not busy, an older couple sitting a few tables away.
You shouldn’t be here now. This is where you and your ex-husband came at any given moment as it was 24 hours and it’s pathetic that this is where you went because you didn’t wish to be home.
“You’re sad.”
You’re startled by the voice speaking suddenly and your eyes blink upwards to the woman sitting across from you. She appears to be out of place here. She seems to be wearing robes - a crimson color with a spec of gold trimming. Her head is covered by a hood of the same color and you’re unable to make out her face just yet as her head is bowed. Her hands are placed onto the table and you noticed she’s wearing gold jewelry 
You sit straighter, unaware who this woman was and why she was here. You had not heard her sit down, either, and that strikes you as odd.
“Is it that obvious?” you murmur, scoffing to yourself. 
“Your aura is sad.” the woman speaks. “You’re hurting. Emotionally, of course.”
You realized that this entire time you had been stirring your tea. You stopped and took out the spoon from the tea cup and placed it aside. You slowly nod your head. “I suppose you’re correct.” you say, unsure why you’re speaking to a complete stranger who appeared out of thin air. 
You take a sip of your tea, the flavor of chai hitting your taste buds only makes you hum. At least there was one good memory of this diner and it was the tea. Nonetheless, you turn your eyes back to the woman. “I must look utterly miserable if you noticed how sad I looked.” you attempt to joke - to lighten the mood.
“I can’t see you.” the woman says and now you notice that she indeed could not. She lifts her head to your direction and her eyes are white. It catches you by surprise and she appears to be looking right at you.
“I-I didn’t know that.” you murmur, now feeling embarrassed that you hadn’t noticed in the beginning. “How could you tell then?”
For a moment, the woman is quiet and you could practically feel the hair on your arms rise. You’re unsure what to say yourself - you had several questions. Who was this woman and where did she come from? How could she feel your sadness as she did not know you or your situation?
“I could sense it - a great deal of pain coming from you.” the woman speaks. “You’re lonely.”
You snicker to yourself, quite bitterly. A blind woman can tell that you were a lonely mess of a woman.
“I lost my husband.” you say, taking another sip of your tea. “He isn’t dead, though. Just dead to me.” you tell her. 
It’s crazy that you sense no threat to this woman who would have struck you as weird if it was any other moment. You didn’t have the desire to speak to your friends about your divorce just yet and get a “I told you so” reaction from them like you had with your parents. This woman didn’t know you and maybe that was better.
“I married him because I loved him and I thought he loved me.” you continue. “But when times went hard, I suppose “til death do us part” was just easier said than done.” you shrug your shoulders. 
“I can feel you’re upset about him, however…” the woman tilts her head a bit, as if reading more into the situation. “...you aren’t just upset about him.”
You nod your head - even if she couldn’t see you do so. “Yeah.” you admit. “I have no husband and I cannot have children. So,” you laugh at your situation. Obviously you’ve done something in your past life to deserve this, surely? “I suppose I’m upset with myself and life in general.”
“Have you always wished to be a mother?”
You have.
You always pondered what motherhood would be like for you. You recall how you and your mother did things together - how loving she was. How understanding she could be. She would scold you when you were wrong, sure, but she loved you nonetheless and truly did want what was best.
You had the financial stability to raise a child in and that was one of the reasons why you wished to be a mother, as having a child without that support would never be an option for you.
“Yes.” you respond to the woman. “I suppose…the universe has other plans for me.” you say with a shake of your head. “I could always adopt but…it’ll be a little harder now that I’m going through a divorce.”
Fuck your husband, truly. You begin to think about what if you just agreed and went through with the surrogacy - maybe then you’d have a husband and a baby.
But your mind told you that it wasn’t realistic. That if he loved you, nothing would have tore him away from you.
You swallow.
“I’m positive you can get pregnant.” the woman speaks and you want to thank her for her positivity - but if the doctors didn’t see you going through with a pregnancy, then you’re sure you couldn’t. “Your spirit just rejected the man you wished to have a child with.”
You raise a brow at her words. She was a spiritual woman, obviously, as she states she could feel your aura. 
“You think so?” you ask her. You wouldn’t push her away as some sort of crazy woman with too many screws loose. 
The woman nods. “Our spirit...sometimes will not accept who we wish to procreate with.” she speaks. “It’s an act of protection. This man was not the man for you.”
You smile.
The woman's words are kind. She was trying to be positive, you note, and assure that you felt better. You were grateful for her words.
“I could help you.”
“Help…me?” you’re taken aback. “Are you a type of…spiritual doctor?”
The woman’s lips twitch upward. “I’m a wiccan.”
It’s quiet for a moment as you process her words.
“Wiccan…?” you swallow with a slight nod. You should be more frightened than you truly were at the moment for the unknown surrounding this woman. “...how could you help me?” you should be even more frightened by how willing you were to hear her methods.
“There’s methods we can go through to assure you conceive a child.”
This was crazy.
There was no way you could be considering this.
“I…I’ll just end up miscarrying.” you murmur with a shake of your head. 
“I’m positive,” the woman begins. “that you will be able to birth a child.” she sounds certain of herself.
“What is the catch?” you question. “Do you want money?”
The woman shakes her head and she laughs at your words. “Money is not my motive. I want to lift the sadness that surrounds you and fill it with happiness. A child is one of the greatest blessings there is in life.”
You proceed to drink the rest of your tea in one sitting, mind scrambling at the woman's words. 
“If I consider this…just who am I getting impregnated by?” you ask. 
The woman stands suddenly and you see just how long her robs are. “I could give you a week to settle in on it.”
“I-I…how would I see you again?”
“I know where to find you.”
Her words should strike you as odd and you should be frightened that they do not.
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“You want to be a single mother?” your mother inhales deeply, her manicured nails on her temples rubbing them in circular motion. “I know going through a divorce isn’t easy but…” she doesn’t finish her words. 
It’s obvious in where she stands. Why in the world would you choose to be a single mother? Though she never liked the idea of you, in her words,  dating a man that was “less than”, she never downright forbade you. If you were happy then it was all she truly wanted.
However, now you were going through a divorce by said man that she always knew was less than deserving of you - and the thought of cheating on the person who gave him a chance was downright insane. 
“I can introduce you to some people!” your mother suggests.
You groan. Great. Your mother was trying to set you up with someone of high status that could care less about you entirely and would only be doing so because they were looking for someone with status.
“Mother,” you wave your hand in front of you dismissively. “Please. I’m going through a divorce and the last thing I want is a partner.”
“But you want a child?” your mother snickers, unable to wrap her head around single motherhood. “W-What…” she swallows. She doesn’t want to be harsh on you in such a fragile moment in your life, but you’re positive you know where she’s going.
What if you have this child and cannot find any man willing (in their eyes) to want to marry a single mother?
You weren’t old and you still had time - but you weren’t sure you wanted to be with anyone. You dipped your toes into married life and this is where it got you - single and still without a child.
“At least if I had a child, it’d be mine.” you sigh. “If I got pregnant sooner, imagine the headache of joint custody.”
Your mother isn’t keen on imagining it. You lean back into your chair, eyes glancing upwards at the high ceiling chandelier. You release a sigh. “I just want to have someone love me forever.” you whisper to yourself. “I want to be able to carry a child. Feel it move inside of me and watch as I grow week by week. Is that too much to ask for?” you question truly.
You glance back at your mother. She’s shaking her head and you’re understanding that she could never truly get where you were coming from. “I will support you in anything you decide to do.” she speaks. “If this is what is going to make you happy…”
You inhale deeply, closing your eyes. You see the woman dressed in the red robes, her white eyes seemingly watching you. It has almost been a week and your mind refuses to go elsewhere.
This is what you wanted, right? You wanted to be a mother and raise a child - even if you didn’t have a partner alongside you. You were only growing older and did you truly wish to get to know someone else and go through the same obstacles you’ve already gone through with your first husband?
“It is what I want.” you exhale, your chest tightening and heart beating rapidly at how long you’ve held your breath. “More than anything…”
It was deep in the night when you saw the woman once more. You had showered and scrubbed your skin clean. The red flags weren’t going off in your head and you never questioned just how the woman knew where you lived. Maybe you’d blame your desperation for a child on why it didn’t strike you as odd.
The woman was not alone. Behind her strolled three more women, all younger than her and instead of being dressed in crimson robes, they sported a dark emerald color. Their hoods are all covering their heads and it’s only when they enter your home do two of them remove it in sync. 
One woman has long coily hair that matches her eyes - dark yet vibrant. Her skin is smooth and underneath the dim light of your home, it appears to glow a deep color similar to espresso. The second woman's hair is short and stops right at her shoulders in a blunt cut - a fierce ginger color that is so bold and it compliments the brownish-green hue of her eyes. You noticed there’s piercings on her skin, four gold ones on the bridge of her nose alone while there’s a few hoops outlining her ears. There’s two small gold hoops on either side of the woman's lips. The final woman keeps her hood on and only could you see her eyes as it appears to be a silk gold scarf wrapped firmly around her neck and mouth, loosely hanging. Her eyes are pierce and it reminds you of that of a cat.
You swallow, captivated by all of the women  - each so different yet so inviting and it takes you a moment to look away. Only when your eyes begin to grow irritated by the lack of blinking moisture do you halt.
“I’m sorry.” you say, body heating with embarrassment. You’re unsure what to say and positive that you didn’t need to apologize as you didn’t do anything. You were nervous and even now, there weren’t any alarms going off in your head. “I have questions….”
It’s the blinded woman that speaks first. “Ask and we shall answer.”
You swallow. Your arms cover with goosebumps as you were wearing little - at their request. It’s a satin night gown that stops at the middle of your thigh and you were instructed on it to be a dark color - preferably black.
“H-How is this going to work?”
The woman offers a soft smile. She begins to walk into your home - deeper as if she’s been here before. You watch, eyes witnessing the way she appears to walk without any issues and you ponder if this woman was truly blind.
But then you had to consider that upon being introduced to you, she stated that she was wiccan - and maybe that had something to do with her overall demeanor. How she could sense your sadness to even now, her showing up at your doorstep and you had not told her explicitly where you lived.
“If I can ask,” you speak up, bare feet patting against the hardwood floor as you follow close behind them. “how am I supposed to be impregnated without…a man?” it’s a logical question that you feel needs an answer - you suppose maybe they had something on them; a vile maybe that could be inserted inside of you. Yet, how good could that be? The sperm could surely not survive that long outside of the body.
But then again, you tell yourself, the woman claimed to be wiccan.
You take a deep breath. 
“There will be a man.” one woman speaks up - it’s the one with coily hair. She turns to you and you halt dead in your tracks. Her voice is low in tone but purely feminine. “It will work as long as you follow our instructions.”
“Indeed.” another woman said - the one with the golden scarf around her speaks. The older woman stopped inside your sitting area, the large room was perfect for the ritual.
“I...am prone to miscarriages.” you murmur. “I wouldn’t wait to wait any of your time if-”
“You let us worry about that.” the woman with the piercings speaks. Her hands place themselves onto your shoulder, her touch warm and soothing. “Come, sit.”
You’re directed to the floor - your sitting room is a large space with several lounge chairs and couches, yet you are instructed to sit on the large rub right in the middle of the room. 
The other woman surrounds you and within a second, the lights in said sitting area are turned off and it’s pitch black. You yelp, clenching your hands to your chest as your heart beats outside of it. 
Before you could speak, there’s a dim light flickering on and around you - candle light. It’s eerie, you’d admit. The orange light flickers off of the faces of the woman surrounding you, the older one right in front of you. Her white eyes appear to be looking down upon you. 
“I-”
“Do not bring yourself to worry. You are completely safe.” the woman speaks, as if reading your mind. “Lay down.”
You take a deep breath and proceed to lay on your back. You want to ask even more questions, but you believe it’s far too late for that now. 
You hear the woman speaking - more like chanting. Your ears perk to understand what they’re saying; but you cannot. Your eyes glances around the dim-lim room at what they were doing. They begin to saunter around you in a circle and you hear a slight sound - as if something is being poured. Your eyes squint to understand what it was - sand? It’s dark, however, as if pure black instead of the light tan the sand color usually would be. 
Your heartbeat quickens, your palms growing sweaty.
The woman is directly behind you now. She peers down at you, white eyes boring into you. You’re quiet and unmoving, far too frightened to say anything. 
Your eyes catch it as she draws closer, the silver dagger in her hand that she comes at you with. You’re paralyzed but your eyes grow wide when she drops the dagger onto your breast and slices either side of them. 
The chanting only grows louder and your mind is screaming at you, the irony smell of your blood only adding to the effects of what the fuck you gotten yourself into.
Your vision begins to blur and the room looks as if it’s smoky - your heart rate skyrockets. It didn’t smell like a fire and neither of the women appeared alarmed that one of their candles was causing it. 
There’s a shadow casted above you that you’re unsure about - it’s sudden and you’re pondering if you were just seeing things. But the shadow only grows larger and your eyes squint to look deeper into the smokey dark.
As the candle-light’s flickers, your heart races faster. Your eyes are wide and unmoving as the tall figure saunters over to you. It’s large and looks purely hellish; demonic. Its skin is a dark red, similar to the woman’s crimson robes. Its eyes are staring down right at you, pupil dark while its iris glows a lime green. On either side of his forehead are goat-like horns and you notice behind his back appears to be like wings similar to that of a bat.
“What is this?”
This had to be some sort of demon - it’s voice is deep as he speaks.
“You were summoned under a contract.”
The demon snarls, his head whipping towards the older woman. His eyes glances around the sigil onto the ground and a few crystals on all five points. An obvious attempt as a protection spell.
“What is it that you want, witch?”
Your eyes are unable to move from the demon before you and for the first time, you’re completely too shocked to speak or react. Your body feels as if it could faint at any moment, but that would require you to get your eyes off of this demon; and you were unable to.
“Isn’t it obvious?” the older woman points down at you. “She is presented to you just as your kind wishes those who seek a child to be.”
The demon glances back at your figure for a moment. He can smell your fear and hear your heart beating - almost as if it’s going to explode. You were human and he could snap you in half with no effort. 
The demon lowers himself to face you, nose inhaling the scent of your blood. 
“Is that all you want?” the demon speaks, but not to you. “What’s your motive, witch?”
“I have no personal gain.” the woman shrugs her shoulders. “I’m one woman that has a desire to help another.”
“Personal gain is what demons have.” one woman speaks, you’re unsure which of the three. 
“Don’t act holier than thou, witch.” the demon seethes. “You summoned me for my help.”
The demon's teeth are sharp as he snaps at the witches - but that’s before turning back to you. You feel your stomach churn when his eyes reach yours and you find yourself gulping.
The demon’s wings begin to flock. It appears to have bat-like wings,a thin membrane of skin connecting from its wings to its back.
The demon lowers to you once more, but this time as his body descends into the shadows, when it emerges his look is different.
Human.
Your eyes scan the features of the demon. Its eyes that were once glowing were now a dull dark brown, one single lid and one double lid eye stare right back at you. He has a heart shaped face and his horns have disappeared and replaced itself with a mop of dark hair. His lips are what catch you first - they’re a rosy pink color, his top lip slightly fuller than his bottom.
Your lips release a short gasp at the sudden change from demon to man - and now you understand the countless stories you’d hear growing up that demons (either if you believed in them or not) could easily persuade anyone away from good. Your once frightened demeanor began to relax at the new sight of an attractive man; not a monster.
Dark eyes never leave yours as the demons head lowered to your chest. A pink split tongue pokes out between his lips and you feel it upon your chest, warm tongue gliding against your bleeding cuts.
“You humans are fragile.” the demon speaks - his once deep voice now sounding more human, but still deeper than you imagined any man to have. “You aren’t a witch, girl.”
You shake your head even though you’re sure it was a statement and not a question.
“How do you plan on caring for a child with a demon?” he asks, but it wasn’t as if he truly cared. He was a fertility demon, after all. He had hundreds of children and the majority of them were humans who were done exactly like this - only different was this was the first time said humans had not sought him out directly. 
You open your mouth to speak but you’re unsure of the answer yourself. You didn’t know that these women - witches - were going to summon a demon to impregnate you.
“She’ll have our help.” the blind witch speaks and for a moment, you forgot that they were still there watching you and him. 
The demon scoffs. “You witches are always up to something at the cost of my seed.” he murmurs. “I won’t be released until I impregnate you, human.” he inhales, smelling the scent of your arousal along with sensing just how confused, concerned yet horny you were all at once. “My name is Taehyung.”
“Tae…hyung.”
The demon - Taehyung - snickers at you saying his name.
Taehyung’s split tongue continues to swirl across your soft skin, the irony taste of your blood causes his taste buds to dance. A clawed hand grips at your thigh, gliding up your skin and pushes the night gown upwards as he does. 
Sharp teeth bite down harshly on your breast and the sudden rush of pain causes you to shriek loudly. Taehyung is rough and swift, ripping off your silk nightgown in a quick movement. It’s shredded and tossed aside without a care by the demon.
You’re now naked on the floor surrounded by witches and a demon - a night like this could not be dreamed of enough.
“Humans have the best tasting blood.” Taehyung all but purrs, tongue licking his lips of your blood. 
Your eyes watched as your nipples were his next interest. The split appendage licks at your hardened nipples, suckling and tugging on them without stopping. Your thighs quiver and you cannot help but moan at the dirty sight before you. Taehyung is starved, tugging your nipples so roughly as he sucks, but this wasn’t enough for him. He was a fertility demon, after all.
Taehyung twirls his tongue from your swollen nipples to down your stomach. His fingers nails are sharp as they swipe at your thighs, forcing them open. He can smell your arousal dripping for him; sweet like honey.
“Delicate humans such as yourself need to be prepped before breeding.”
Your eyes widen when he sinks down between your legs, so dangerously close to you that it causes you to yelp with embarrassment. 
Your head draws back and your eyes shut when you feel Taehyung’s tongue lick a stripe at your clit before latching itself completely onto it. He suckles on it sloppily, rolling his tongue over the sensitive bud. His hands keep you firmly in place, sharp nails digging into the skin of your thigh and you’re sure they’re drawing blood. 
Taehyung’s eyes flicker up to you, snickering at the way you’re biting back your moans. Your teeth are biting your soft lips and you’re jerking with each passing lick.
This is not Taehyung’s first time doing this with a human - he has so many times before. He knows exactly what to do to pleasure them. His right hand leaves their grip upon your thigh to push past your folds. “So tight,” he murmurs against your clit, his fingers going to sink inside of you.
You’re breathing hitches as his fingers dig deeper inside you, brushing against your walls. He doesn’t allow you any grace - his tongue still flickers at your clit teasingly. It wasn’t like you haven’t received oral sex before - but not like this. Taehyung was obviously not human; his fingers appeared to go deeper and deeper with each thrust, jamming into you at an alarming speed. 
“I know you’re going to cum, human.” Taehyung’s voice appears in your head and for a moment you’re startled, eyes shooting open to look at him - his tongue has not left your clit, but then you hear it once more. “It’s amazing what a demon could do for you, right?”
You want to ask what the hell is going on and just how he’s in your head - but your stomach churns and once more, your thighs quiver. His fingers jam into your sweet spot with urgency and his words were ringing true - you were going to cum and so fast, too.
Taehyung doesn’t stop - instead he removes his fingers to replace it with his tongue, the muscle only adding to your climax. He buries his tongue deep against you and you’re unable to move away.
The overstimulation is causing your eyes to water. A single tear-drop falls from your eye in contrast to the slick of arousal that falls onto Taehyung’s tongue and down his chin. This was all too much to handle, the pleasure causing you to shake underneath his hold. You’re spasming against his tongue and Taehyung only watches the way you fold against him, a low squeal releasing from your throat.
Taehyung could have just fucked you and gotten it over with - but what’s the fun in that? Even if he was a demon, he still was a man that enjoyed sex and it was far more enjoyable when the other was into it.
You tug at Taehyung’s hair, unable to take anymore pleasure - and you’re already groaning at the blurry sight of his between your legs already that causes another orgasm to run through you.
Taehyung leans back, licking his lips of your arousal. His eyes watch the way your thighs shake and your breathing heaves, chest rising and falling in rhythm. 
“Should I breed you right now?”
Your head shakes, unable to comprehend how he was speaking to you in your mind right now. 
Nothing was private - not when there were witches watching. That was new - he was a fertility demon and never had an audience before for something this sacred. The only way for an ounce of privacy would be to speak with her through her thoughts.
Only something two bound people could do - something he had done when he had consumed her blood. Eventually it’d wear off if she did not accept the bond; and he was not expecting or bothered if she had or not.
“P-Please.” you murmur, nodding your head at Taehyung’s words in your mind. You truly just wanted him inside of you, completely forgetting that the two of you weren’t alone.
“You humans…” Taehyung doesn’t finish his words and instead, begins to undress his lower half, doing exactly what you were begging him for.
Taehyung’s cock is pretty - it’s pink and veiny and appears utterly suckable. Your mouth salivates at the thought of sucking it before he fucks you and it’s your perverted thoughts that causes him to laugh at you.
“So eager to taste me, little human?” Taehyung’s voice rings in your mind and hastily, you nod with a lick of your lips. “I’m not so sure you could take all of me.”
Taehyung does check to find out, pulling himself closer to you so that you could wrap a hand around the base of his cock - it’s thick in your grasp. You slowly feel him, astonished at something so pretty - maybe demons were meant to be this dangerous. You weren’t the least bit scared as you should be at a demon masking himself as a human to fuck a baby in you - you would go to Hell right now if he fucked you right along the way.
And that’s how demons tricked Humans, you note, in ways such as this.
Your mouth suckles on the tip of Taehyung’s cock, twirling your tongue greedily. Your hands stroke the base of it for added pleasure.
Taehyung groans, his eyes piercing as he watches you take him so good - like a touched starve whore. He can sense the excitement running through you right now, so eager to please him that you were doing an amazing job.
Taehyung grips your hair roughly. “Take more of me, little human. I know you can.” his voice speaks to you, his cock going deeper into your mouth.
There's saliva rolling down your chin as Taehyung begins to thrust inside your mouth. The sight had to be as filthy as when he was eating you out but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. It was something flowing inside of you that wanted to pleasure Taehyung - that needed to feel his cock inside of your mouth before he fucks a baby into you.
“Such a pretty whore you are.” Taehyung growls audibly. “Should I take you back to Hell with me and fuck you all the time?”
You whimper against his thrusting cock and Taehyung chuckles with a shake of his head. One hand lays itself under your chin so he can look into your watery eyes as his cock flows in and out of you. He growls, so pretty - so devilish. Those eyes were anything but holy.
“I’ll make you my personal whore…mine to fuck until the end of time.”
Taehyung releases himself from your mouth. You cough, saliva pooling onto your chest and you heave. He wastes no time in tearing your legs apart, cock right at your center. 
“You want me to be bred, don’t you, little human? No human could give you what I could.”
“Please…” you beg, eyes watery and hips buckling to feel him inside of you. You were needy, clenching around nothing. 
Taehyung gives you what you beg him for. He enters you with one thrust, your back arching at the sudden fullness of his cock. One hand pushes you back onto the ground. He then places the same hand against your stomach, beginning to thrust deeply inside of you.
Each thrust has you hitting against the floor roughly, your eyes rolling at the sensation. Your velvety walls tighten around his cock, greedy to milk him dry if that’s what it took.
“Little whore you are. Want a child so bad that you’d have a demon.” Taehyung’s taunting you, but his words do nothing but make you wetter for him, legs widening to take him even more - and it drives him crazy.
Taehyung growls, determined to send you over the edge. He forces your legs apart, pounding into you at an alarming speed for a human but even then you don’t appear to be threatened. You’re a weird human, he notes, fully accepting her fate - and maybe that was easier. Accept that you were fucking a demon and soon will be having one; there were precautions that you would have to go through. Such as completely cutting the child’s demonic abilities off that would kill the demon half of them - such acts would cause great pain for the child when the time comes.
Taehyung had children - majority of them walking earth with no ties to the demon world or the Brotherhood he was a part of. Those who were demons were so far removed from him that neither of them cared for a relationship as their birth was just business.
Taehyung ponders what you would choose - having a half demon child wouldn’t be easier for you to handle and he’s positive these witches didn’t give you any warning about what hell the pregnancy would be, let alone half demon spawns running around your house.
Taehyung snorts. You were so cock drunk right now that nothing mattered to you. He thrusts deeper inside of you, your pussy gripping him with greed that could only be seen as a sin. Your arousal pools beneath you and onto your rug, sure to stain it with the memories of this night.
“I can smell you, human. You’re gonna cum again.”
Your breathing increases and Taehyung is correct - you were going to cum. It’s a knot deep in your stomach that longs to be released.
“Let’s cum together, human.”
With both hands, Taehyung hoists your bottom half off of the ground and begins to pound into you, the sound of skin slapping echoing off of the walls of your sitting room; all mixed with your high-pitched shrieks. 
Your eyes begin to roll once more and you're so close that your eyes begin to tear up with how good it all feels, the eyes of the witches fading into nothingness.
Taehyung’s nails dig into your skin as a few sloppy thrusts hit your sweet spot and he’s cumming deep inside of you, a warm seed painting your walls heavenly - it causes you to cum along with him. Your lower body shakes, your body erupts with warmth.
“Don’t think I’m done with you, human.” Taehyung’s voice growls in your mind. “You want to be bred, I’ll make sure I do just that.”
Before you could speak, Taehyung flips you on your stomach and forces you onto your knees. He enters you once more, continuing his pounding speed inside you.
Maybe Taehyung was determined to break you - you were so fragile and didn’t  know what you were getting yourself into. If you told him to slow down, he would - but you hadn’t. Your mind is screaming with just as much pleasure as your shrieks were. You were leaking all over the place and looked like a bitch in heat.
Taehyung’s unsure why it angers him to see you in such pleasure - was it because you weren’t afraid of him and the consequences of being bred by a demon? Was it because you were taking him far too well that he was beginning to enjoy it?
Taehyung yanks you back by your neck and presses himself against you, hips buckling inside your squelching pussy. His sharp nails dig into your neck as he squeezes it, free hand resting on your clit and begins to rub circles on the sensitive bud.
“You’re a filthy little human, aren’t you?”
Taehyung’s fingers roughly rub at your clit for added stimulation. You scream out, not caring how dirty you probably looked to the on-lookers. 
“I just might come back for you, little human. Fuck a few more babies in you since you seem to want my seed so much.”
“P-Please…” you beg, a few tears dropping from the corner of your eyes - how pathetic you must’ve looked, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. The pleasure is too much and you’re now begging him to cum. “Please make me cum….!”
Taehyung snickers, fingers rubbing through your folds with alarming stamina as his hips fuck into your tight walls. Your eyes are swirling to the back of your head again, feeling so full of him that you never want him to stop - you never felt this way before with your husband or any other man. It had to be because Taehyung wasn’t human but just looking the part for your sake.
You cry out with an embarrassing heat running through you as arousal-filled juices leaked out of you and down your thighs. It hits the floor with a splash, similar to water hitting the ground. You begin to shudder, body going completely limb in Taehyung’s embrace.
Taehyung taps your clit a few times, satisfied that you’ve came so hard again - and he was sure he could fuck you all night, but he would. You were a human and humans couldn’t do such a thing.
“Gonna get you nice and full, human. No human man would be able to give you such an honorable gift.” Taehyung brings his soaked hand and slaps your cheek as if to signal your attention. “Such a cock-hungry whore you are…you’ll be begging to be full of me again.”Your body continues to tremble, fully reliant on Taehyung to hold you upright. You’ve already cum enough.
Taehyung himself is cumming, and yet he still has an unholy amount of stamina - and cum - to give you.
Your face burns when it’s shoved into your rug, cheek slamming against it as Taehyung forces your ass into the car. You’re drooling onto it, pussy clenching around his cock, milking even more of his cum. He’s pounding inside of you at a dangerous rate, cock hitting even deeper and managing to fill you up with more and more cum.
“I’ll make sure you’re pregnant by the time we’re done here, human.” Taehyung snarls, attempting to use your body to his full advantage.
 A part of Taehyung upset that you still had no protest in you - to think a human could take him is preposterous. And yet - as you lay trembling beneath him, cock buried so deep inside of your pussy, his mind reads how you’re unable to speak, but yet begging him to continue.
You whimper when you’re filled once more, cum painting your walls entirely. This had to be different - this one actually stings a bit, almost as if it’s too much to handle as a human.
Taehyung is panting, his lips dangerously close to your ear. His cock twitches as he continues to cum inside of you, fully determined to do what he was summoned to do - breed you.
Taehyung doesn’t move nor does his cock soften inside of you. You remain still, as well, eyes heavy and you’re truly exhausted with the entire experience.
“You can leave now.” says the blind woman, her eyes glancing between you nearly unconscious and the demon. “I’m sure she’s with child and will show sooner than she expects.”
Taehyung remains quiet, there’s a bit of cum that falls out of you as he releases himself. He lets the grip of your hair go gently, allowing you to fall limp onto the ground.
Taehyung does leave - without another word - in a gush of black smoke.
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It took you 7 months to learn the incantation to summon Taehyung.
You were large and it appeared as if your stomach never stopped moving but you’re positive that there isn’t only one child inside of you. Your eyes would catch more than two handprints and footprints at a time while they moved.
You accepted your fate rather quickly, drinking whatever medicine the witches had given you that would help ease the pain your children had caused throughout the pregnancy. Your body changed, of course, and you were always tired, hungry and thirsty.
Your thirst went beyond normal food and as the witches told you, your children wouldn’t accept just regular food. When you had tasted blood for the first time you thought it would disgust you, but it tasted so heavenly that you completely devoured several blood bags right before the witches.
It took everything in you to not attack your parents as they visited you in your home. You could smell their blood - thanks to your children - and they fought with you constantly to have a taste, but you managed to hold them off until they left and ate a large, raw and blood steak to satiate their desires.
What was new to you at the time was the demonic powers you’d possess because of the fetuses inside of you. You had since caused a fire in your home just because you were craving something you couldn’t have. In the next moment, the first was put out and seemingly out of thin air, what you were craving sat directly in front of you.
The teleportation had to be something to get used to - but you could say that you were completely fine with it. Possibly better than any other human woman would be at carrying demonic children.
You’d often ponder if they’d look like Taehyung - if they’d have baby horns and red skin; or a demon side to them at all. The witches had told you that they had a spell to cast off the demonic side to your babies, and yet you’re unsure if that’s something you’d want.
Your mind often lingers on Taehyung and had since the next day you woke up without him - and had not seen him since.
You hear Taehyung, as weird as it is. In your head, he often speaks to you at random times. It’s as if he was there, but truly wasn’t. He would answer certain questions you have about your demonic abilities and cravings.
“You’re carrying more than one spawn, they’re expecting to be fed more than acai bowls and water.”
“You caused the fire in your home, but they managed to protect you from it.”
“That sharp pain in your rib was one of them breaking it with their kick - the other healed you in a matter of seconds. You’ll have to get used to them fighting each other in the womb. It’ll only get worse when they’re actually born.”
Taehyung speaks with you - but he doesn’t show himself and a part of you wonders if he ever will.
Was it weird to want Taehyung around? You learned that he was a fertility demon and he had many children - both fully human now and fully demon. You’re unsure how you feel about being just another vessel for him to impregnate.
It took you 7 months to learn the incantation to summon Taehyung - to not summon him at all.
No, instead you summoned someone else, another demon. And now you’re frightened to have them standing tall before you.
Your breasts are bleeding, having used your blood to summon this demon.
“You,” 
The demon doesn’t appear demonic like Taehyung was when he was summoned. He comes as a regular human man, but you’re wiser to know that he is anything but. 
The man steps forward, dark hair bouncing on his shoulders. 
Your dagger tightens in your grip and you raise it shakily in case you need to use it.
The demon chuckles. “That dagger won’t hurt me.” he says tauntingly. “Besides, if you were in any danger, your children would sense it and fight me off.”
You swallow.
“You smell like Taehyung…his being is embedded in you. Not only by pregnancy.” the demon sniffs the air, tilting his head. “You…you are the reason he has the Brotherhood in shambles. And to think they said I would be the one to go weak.”
You’re unsure of what the man is saying and you don’t question him. Your heart beats rapidly as he comes closer.
“W-Who are you?” you ask. “I-I tried to summon Tae-”
“My name’s Jungkook.” the man speaks. “You summoned me.” he says. “Obviously, you have yet to learn the correct incantation to summon a specific Brotherhood member so it chose a random one. Just my luck.”
Jungkook recalls how many years it’s been since Taehyung had found out about his child, stating that the Underworld were claiming him to be weak - how the tables have turned.
In such a short amount of time, Taehyung had resigned from his role as a fertility brotherhood member - something he has been for centuries - and it only meant that he had found a bound partner. Jungkook was no fool to why Taehyung had gone distant and it only meant that his partner had to be human like his once was.
“You haven’t seen Taehyung and that’s why you tried to summon him.”
You nod your head meekly, lowering your dagger.
“Typical of my brother to run away. Jimin.”
You go to speak but are interrupted when another man appears seemingly out of thin air. You yelp, flinching back.
“What do we have here?” the man, Jimin, speaks. He smells the air, nose flaring. “Tae…he has hid you well. Better than you had.” he says to Jungkook. 
“Leave.”
Taehyung appears like the rest had, this time directly behind you. You’re shocked to see him again for the first time in months. Your heart leaps at the sight of him, and your stomach begins to move radically.
“Ah, they know you’re here.” Jimin says, a taunting tone in his voice. “The former fertility demon becomes a family man.”
“I suppose we both made a mockery of the Brotherhood.” Jungkook speaks, not forgetting how Taehyung once treated him and his pregnant partner. 
“You still live in the past, brother?” Taehyung snorts with a shake of his head.  “I’ve accepted your bound partner and your child. I was there at the birth was I not?”
“Speaking of births,” Jimin leans down to your sitting position, a hand placing itself onto your stomach. “You’ll be due soon and we’ll be there.”
“It’s tradition, brother.” Jungkook says mockingly. “To welcome your son and daughter to the Brotherhood.”
Your eyes widen.
You knew you were having more than one child - but you never knew the gender.
Your throat tightens at the thought of having one of each.
“Your first set of children to do so.”
“And only. Right, brother? You are no longer a fertility demon.” Jungkook tilts his head. “Such great news that I cannot wait to share with the rest of our brothers.”
Taehyung turns his eyes away and down at you. He doesn’t speak.
“Yoongi said something was going on with you. You’ve gone soft, brother? That’s a good thing.”
“Soft is something I am not, brother.” Taehyung retorts to Jimin. “Just because I once gave life to many does not mean I have not taken the same if not more.”
You listen to the three of them bicker, trying to wrap your head around what was going on.
“Leave and return to the Underworld and be sure to remind anyone just why I remain an Upper Level demon, brother.” Taehyung hisses, now stepping in front of you. 
Jimin stands, eyeing Taehyung. 
“We’ll be back when the babies are due to be born.” Jimin smiles devilishly. “Finding a bound partner is a blessing, brother.” he laughs at his own form of a joke.
They’re gone in a blink of an eye and now you’re left with just you and Taehyung.
You don’t speak, unsure on what to say. You haven’t seen Taehyung in so long that the sight of him makes you nervous.
“You didn’t have to summon me to see me, human.”
You sit a little straighter, dagger falling from your hands.
“All you had to do was call for me.”
“I-I don’t know how.” your body burns with heat as his eyes turn to you. “I-”
“I hear you. I always do.” Taehyung murmurs. “I can feel you. Your heart beat is linked to mine. When it risen was when I decided to come.”
You lick your lips, racking your brain around the words the three demons used.
“A bound partner is exactly what it sounds like.” Taehyung says, reading your mind exactly. “You’d be bound to me for eternity and taken to Hell. I have been bound to you, Human, since the day we conceived our children. You are not bound to me.”
You furrow your brows. “How could you be bound to me?” you ask. “I don’t remember anything?” “A blood binding. It started when I licked your blood…” Taehyung’s eyes drop to your cut breast, a sense of deja vu. “You drinking my blood would be one of many bindings.”
You swallow, the act of tasting blood causing your mouth to water.
“However, I have chosen not to do that. You have come to me to help you and that I shall.” Taehyung drops to his knees to look at you. 
“And if I want you to?”
Taehyung snorts. “You are a weird human, Y/N.” he murmurs, dark eyes watching you. “You refuse to back down even now. Most demons wouldn’t spare your soul like I am.”
“You aren’t most demons. You’re an Upper-Level one.” you say boldly - unsure the hierarchy of demons were. “I want to be bound to you.”
“You don’t, human. Your emotions are all over the place.” Taehyung snickers. “Our children are causing you to feel this way because they crave their demonic part - which is me.”
“I want to be bound to you.” you repeat again, mind flashing with that night months prior to how well he had fucked you.
“And spend an eternity in Hell?”
You lick your lips. “Would we be with you?” you ask, voice low.
“Yes.”
“Then yes.” you nod your head. “I’ll spend an eternity in Hell.”
Taehyung watches your expression, truly believing you to be a weird individual.
You had a life on Earth. You had the funds to raise children and a family who supported you. 
Why would you give it all up to join a demon in Hell?
“I was told you gave up your position.” you speak up to interrupt his thoughts. “I’m not sure what any of this means…”
“It means these are the only children that would be born by me that the Brotherhood would acknowledge.” his eyes flicker to your moving stomach, sensing that his children were content inside of you. “I won’t be having any more.”
You place a hand onto your stomach, a sudden kick right where it lays. 
“I summoned you because I wanted to see you again.” you admit, but you’re sure he knows this if he was correct about his claims. “I want to be bound to you. This…” your eyes turn to the space you were occupying - but not just the space, the Human realm in general. “...It’s lonely. I’m surrounded by people but I’m still lonely. I get pitiful looks from my family constantly and…”
You don’t want to ramble about your human life and problems.
“...would going to Hell hurt?”
“Of course.” Taehyung doesn’t attempt to sugar coat anything. 
“Will you be there when I get there? Would they?”
“Of course.” Taehyung repeats. “Hell…the Underworld as a whole is far different than the Human realm. You wouldn’t be able to return and see your family.”
You swallow, eyes on Taehyung’s.
“They would think you’d died. That, or their memory of you would be wiped entirely.”
Taehyung watches your reaction for anything. He knows humans and their emotions could be radical and they tend to keep their families close to their hearts.
“What were you planning on doing?” you asked. 
Taehyung doesn’t answer because he himself wasn’t sure. He could bind their demonic side until they are of age - but that would only cause more work for the Brotherhood to teach a human raised demon how to live their lives in the Underworld. 
There was the possibility of allowing them to keep their demonic powers in the Human realm, but demonic babies, toddlers and children were Hell to raise on a plain that didn’t possess the same abilities as them.
Taehyung supposed that he was leaving the decision up to you entirely to decide what you wished to do with them. One thing’s for certain, now that the Brotherhood knew of your existence, it was a matter of time before the Source did.
Your hand grabs the dagger and instantly, you slice his neck. Taehyung doesn’t react like a normal person would and it’s because you assume he doesn’t truly care - he’s had worse attacks. 
Taehyung is more shocked that you slice his neck to then lick him, a way of completing the binding ritual yourself.
Taehyung’s blood is thick and rich, your tongue stroking the wound to get a better taste of him, hands throwing the knife and falling onto his chest. You grip his shirt to bring him closer, your senses heighten for a moment. It appears your children were awake, moving non-stop inside of you.
“You’re a weird human.” Taehyung’s voice sounds throughout your head. “Going to Hell because you’re lonely and hormonal.”
You snort, teeth grazing the side of his neck. Your hand falls slowly from his chest to his lap as you lean back. You lick your lips, tilting your head curiously. 
Taehyung’s eyebrow lifts slightly. “My brother’s partner…wasn’t like you.” he notes, recalling the way Jungkook’s bound partner remained kind and reclusive.  
However, you were carrying two demonic spawns that were feeding off of you on the daily and maybe they were slowly turning you away from whatever human-like emotions you had. 
“What do you want me to do?” Taehyung asks you, your thoughts clouding his and he’s certain you want to ask him something. 
“Nothing too drastic.” you shrug your shoulders. “Just kill my ex-husband.”
Taehyung blinks at you and you do the same.
“Of course.” Taehyung responds, leaning away from you to stand straight. “I’ll be back shortly.”
Your hand lays on your bump as Taehyung is gone in a blink of an eye, a satisfied feeling running through your body.
halloween masterlist
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noirscript · 2 months
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call avoidance.
Yandere Hotline: 3/?
featuring: implied drugging. implied tresspassing. lots of male masturbation. unsolicited phone sex (?). implied kidnapping. AFAB!Reader (yan calling reader mommy)
note: this is written while half-asleep. not edited. brain go brrr. i'll add the src some time.
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Dealing with mad people can drive anyone insane. But if you're given a hefty sum to keep the insane ones company, you'll take. Life is tough, but you can choose your own hell.
"Got you some drink. Your favorite flavor," Heidi, your 'neighbor' in cubicle, said cheerfully as she placed the drink and sandwich on your spot.
"Well, who are we kidding." You shook your head before placing the plastic cup in your trash bin along with the tasty sandwich that came with it. "They're really persistent, you know?"
You smiled sheepishly as you arrange your cubicle to start a new day. Unlike your workmates, your place is quite neat and devoid of anything that would identify that spot as yours.
No personal images pinned on the corkboard. Not even a framed picture of whoever inspires you to get up and work hard without becoming insane yourself.
Upon accepting the job offer, you made sure to draw the most visible line to keep your personal life to yourself. You've heard some stories—some myths—about some agents disappearing without any trace overnight. Like they never existed in the first place.
"I hope they fuck off, you know?" You sighed before putting on your noise-cancelling headphones. "May we survive this shift," you grumbled as you wait for the first call with baited breath.
You have frequent customers. Most of them were pleasant to talk to. Let's just say that they're not exactly the dangerous type of callers. Those type clients were, most likely, drawn to the idea of being a 'yandere' as a fantasy. Sometimes, there's a hint of sexualization.
Almost every person on the floor are taking calls. Including you. However, your gut's been telling you to ignore the call. Maybe it's one of those unhinged callers who believes that you're theirs. Like they own you and all of your time.
You still have some available credits for call avoidance since you rarely used your credits. Surely, this one call will not affect your performance rating.
While waiting for the phone to stop ringing, you decided to clean up your work email. Being bombarded with useless newsletters about food and books on sale is the worse. Not only does it make your inbox crowded, it's also spammy.
You were fightung the urge to just select all and delete everything at once when you suddenly heard a notification. One after another.
One from your email, another one from your messaging app, and lastly—from the internal chatroom.
You opened the email with an attachment. It was a blank email but as soon as the preview for the attachment appeared, you almost gagged.
It was an image of a man's cock. There were translucent liquid splattered everywhere while the tip of his dick is on a cup—filled to the brim with iced coffee with foamy top. Your favorite.
Your hands were shaking as you exit the window of the website. You clicked the messaging app first. 'Perhaps it was just a promotional message from one of those companies.'
But no.
It was a message from a private number. You don't have any idea how they did it, but they kept sending you images. Most of them were blurry, but the ones with better quality almost made you vomit.
It was taken in a small room. At first, the room was dark, but eventually the image light up. His face was blurred, but you could clearly see what he was doing.
He was fucking your pillow. The one you've been using since you've moved in a better place with better security.
You were confused. And scared.
How could he easily enter your place? Your keys are with you and only the management has access to other duplicates.
"No way..." you whispered as you close the messaging app's window.
One bomb was dropped after another. And you knew something's off.
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[NOTICE OF TERMINATION]
Due to multiple reports of call avoidance and drop calls, the management has decided to relieve you from your position as an agent effective immediately.
As we value your well-being, rest assured that you will be receiving your full payment for the next three months along with the other benefits that the company has sworn to provide you.
We sincerely appreciate your efforts for the last three years. We wish you all the best from this day forward.
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You were devastated, yet relieved upon reading the letter. You've been wanting to receive this for months. It was the only way out of this place and this industry. You've also managed to save up a lot that you can start fresh somewhere. Far from this place.
Another phone call managed to bypass the automatic system of the place. You took a deep breath before accepting the call.
"Hello?"
"I can't... wait... haah..." the man on the line was clearly doing himself. By the eay he sounds, he's probably close. "We'll move to a big house... haah... hngg... a baby, a babyyy... nhnn... come home..."
Your eyes widened upon hearing your name. Not the screen name you gave them, but your legal full name.
"Let me... hngg... make you a mommy... d'you want that, huh?" You could a wet sloppy noises in the background. "Tiny baby... sucking on your tits... while I make a mess out of you?"
"Ap—"
"No need for... apologies..." he was breathing heavily. "I'll see you soon, okay?
"Heimdall."
He chuckled. "That's me, my princess... took you long enough to say my name."
"How did you get into my house?" you asked while gritting your teeth.
"Patience, my love. We could talk all about it once you're home. Should I get you something to eat? Chicken? Cake? Sandwich? Coffee?"
"I'm done with you."
You immediately pressed the end call button before gathering your things and left. Not even a farewell to your friends.
But there's something you should probably know.
Heidi can't wait to be an aunt and to be your sister-in-law!
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blindmagdalena · 2 months
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Center Stage in a Gilded Cage
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18+ 3k. homelander x f!reader. pre-s1. stalking, kidnapping, imprisonment, forced relationship, slow burn, somnophilia, drugging, eventual smut. 1/8. gif AO3. directory.
Homelander was born with only one terrible poverty: loneliness. He's been starved of love his entire life, made sick by his hunger for it, but he believes you might have the cure. If you want to survive, you'll find a way to give it to him.
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Homelander has never been able to understand people who bird watch. Of all the things a mundane person could do with their abysmally mediocre life, why devote what little free time they have to observing a creature even more dull than they themselves are?
Perhaps it's the gift of flight. By far, it is the ability of his that garners the most attention. Or maybe it's the power trip one experiences when observing something simpler and weaker than yourself for sport. The novelty of becoming endeared by their strange little behaviors and quirks. It's this line of thinking that eventually walks Homelander down the path of people watching. During his downtime, in the quiet moments he spends perched atop skyscrapers and apartment complexes, he finds himself watching the people miles below him scurry about like insects through a colony.
Over time, he begins to recognize regulars. People moving back and forth, day in and day out, no different than ants moving grains back and forth. He has to laugh. It's no wonder god abandoned man. Man is fucking boring.
Even the god they made for themselves thinks so.
To ease the monotony, he concocts little stories for the ones he recognizes. He imagines the kinds of lives they live outside of their commutes and the routines he observes. He names one of them Peter, and every day he invents a new reason Peter is yet again running late for his train. Because he's always late, Peter never stops for the woman selling street meat on the corner across from the station.
Homelander imagines that the meat she peddles is people, and that she's got her eye on that speedy little rabbit, Peter.
And then one day, he notices you.
It isn’t that you’re especially beautiful or noteworthy. Just like all the other busy little bees, you go about your same routine each and every day of the week. Sometimes you're in a rush, other times you enjoy your stroll. Regardless, you always find time to stop and give money to the same homeless man occupying one of the few alleyways protected by an awning. Sometimes you linger to chat, other times you can only stop long enough to drop something into his hands.
It isn't always money. Oftentimes you have food for him packed neatly into a little take-out box. Despite the packaging, it looks homemade. You always have a warm smile for him, even when you’re obviously frazzled.
To the rest of the world, this man may as well be fucking invisible, but here you are handing him a box of home cooked food like he's someone who matters. Homelander is the world's greatest hero, and yet some bum on the street is being fed with more love and attention to detail than he ever has.
It's a goddamn joke. More and more, it becomes apparent to him that you’re pathetically lonely. After a few days of observing you amongst the others, he starts trailing you more actively, forgetting all about Peter and his eventual butcher.
He wants to know more about you.
You live alone, working and cooking for only yourself and your stray pet. Sometimes you cook for your coworkers or the odd friend who stops by before leaving you alone all over again. He watches from a distance while you toil away, cooking more food than you’ll eat in a week for people you see for a fraction of each of your weekdays. It couldn’t be more obvious that you’re desperate for someone to take care of.
In a way, he can relate. 
Maeve has been more distant than ever, choosing to engage him only when there’s a camera present. When it’s only the two of them, she just drinks until he barely recognizes her. Madelyn has begun her “fertility journey,” words that set his teeth on edge, and has barely had a real moment to spare him as of late. The rest of his team doesn’t help abate his loneliness either; Marathon is a washed up hack who can barely sprint these days, Lamplighter is only ever interested in clubbing, the Deep couldn’t hold a conversation in a bucket, and Noir is a mute.
And so he soothes his solitude with thoughts of you. When he isn’t with you, he daydreams about it, imagining what life would look like if your worlds were to intersect. The more he learns about you, the more vivid his fantasies become, and the more intensely he aches when he still finds himself alone in his bed at the end of each night.
It spurs him to visit you more and more.
One particularly warm summer night, you leave your window wide open. He takes it for the invitation it is, drifting towards it under the cover of dark. Your screen is loose and pops out noiselessly. Not exactly safe, even if you do live on the fifth storey.
You just never know what might come lurking out of the shadows.
Slipping into your living room, he’s met with the sound of white noise playing from your bedroom. Is it the sound of the streets below that bother you? You’d never hear it from his penthouse a hundred feet in the air. You could leave the windows open all you like and hear only the roar of the sky, not unlike the ocean waves your phone is poorly mimicking.
He could take you to the actual ocean. A beach house far away from the buzzing neon lights and incessant honking and revving of traffic. Walking through your apartment, he makes his way to your tiny kitchen. The one in his penthouse puts yours to absolute shame, and yet the only thing in it that’s ever been used is the fridge. He’s certain he’s never opened the double oven or so much as turned on the gas range. Meanwhile, your kitchen is riddled with use, each cupboard stuffed with mismatched cookware and the like. It smells of grease and spices and love.
The sad irony of it is almost too much to stomach. You don’t belong in this cramped little sardine can. You should be in a proper kitchen. 
You should be cooking for him. The thought comes to him like a flash of genius. Of course. That’s the answer that will solve both of your little dilemmas. If he is a bird watcher then you’re a songbird snared in a net. It would be inhumane of him to leave you to die before you’re ever appreciated–ever seen–by anyone who matters.
You would worship him for rescuing you. His wealth and power would see each and every one of your material needs met with ease. You would never work for anything again. All you would ever have to concern yourself with was being loved and loving him.
He walks to your room with a hand pressed absently over his heart, cradling the anxious little bundle of nerves that have gathered there. He can tell by your breathing that you’re deep asleep, and yet he finds himself uncharacteristically nervous as he approaches.
His first time being so near to you after weeks of simply observing.
Swallowing the lump in his throat, he steps towards you. The sound of him is masked by the ambient noise spilling from your phone, not to mention the fan you have pointed directly at your bed in a desperate attempt to save yourself from the summer heat.
You clearly weren’t built for this paltry life. Mary was no one before God chose her for greatness. Is that not what he’s about to do for you? It’s the will of a god that elevates you.
He kneels by your bedside, bringing himself face to face with you. Your breathing is even, each huff smelling faintly of mint. Your lips look soft, slightly parted in sleep. Everything about you is gentler, more relaxed than you ever are in the day to day grind of your life.
You could look like this all the time without it. He has the power to change your entire life with nothing more than a couple of numbers shifting from one space to another. Money has always been inconsequential to him, so abundant that it hardly means anything anymore. You, however, are ruled by it.
For the first time in his life, he recognizes the power in his wealth.
He brushes the tips of his gloved fingers along your cheek, down your jaw. He’s never used his hands so tenderly as when he traces your sleeping eyelids with his fingertips, imagining what dreams chase behind them and make them flutter.
You don’t stir. 
Emboldened, he follows the curve of your bottom lip with his thumb, imagining how soft you would feel against the bare pad of his finger. Leaning in closer, he indulges in the warmth of your breath tickling his lips. You’re a sound sleeper, the thud of your resting heart beating steadily in his ear.
Closing his eyes, he bridges the distance between your lips, pressing his own lightly to yours. For a second, he thinks he’s woken you, that you’ve caught sight of him and your heart is drumming loudly in his ears. He draws sharply back, but sees that you’re still deep asleep, your features peaceful.
It’s his heart that’s racing, a thundering sound that blocks out every other noise in the room. He’s breathing shallowly, excited in a way he hasn’t been in a long time. There’s a flush crawling up his throat, and it’s at that moment he breaks out into a wide, wondrous smile.
There’s no question of it now.
He has to have you.
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The plan to acquire you ends up requiring very little setup. If Madelyn cares why Homelander’s suddenly spending so much, she’s yet to make a comment. 
Bitterly, he thinks it likely that she’s glad to see him distracted. 
He starts preparation by appropriately stocking his kitchen; you’ll appreciate the supply of ingredients, he knows. The quality of what he obtains for you is leagues above what you can afford, as is the cookware. He buys you new clothes, jewelry, imagining every step of the way how you’ll look in each piece. How you’ll look as he takes them off. He’s seeking to upgrade your life in every conceivable way, like bringing a cat home from the pound and teaching it the meaning of luxury.
You’ll want for nothing. You’ll be so grateful to him. And you, the sweet and perfect little thing that you are, make yourself painfully easy to ensnare. You come home under the cover of dark like clockwork, perfectly oblivious to his approach. You’ve just managed to fish your keys out of your bag when his hand closes a kerchief over your mouth and nose, stifling your cry. His other arm slips around your waist, holding you steady. The cloth smells overly sweet, ether-like, and though that scent has no effect on him, you respond to it almost immediately.  “Shhhhshhshh,” he soothes, letting the anesthesia do its job. Fuck, you feel good in his arms, back held tight to his chest, your delicate hands prying at his wrist as you kick, claw and scream–albeit muffled–into the cloth. He holds you with ease, keeping you close to his body, angling you in such a way that you won’t hurt yourself.
Despite your tenacity, you fight a losing battle. Your efforts grow weaker and weaker as you lose your grip on consciousness. He hushes you all the while, encouraging you. “That’s it, let it go. I’ve got you, I’ve got you...” Finally your head falls back against his shoulder, your face lolling into the crook of his neck, the rest of your body falling slack in his arms. He pulls the cloth away from your mouth, tucking it into your bag for now. He turns his head to yours, lips barely ghosting along your forehead. He takes in a deep breath of you, his eyes falling shut. Beneath the sickly sweet smell of the chemical mixture he knocked you out with, he can smell the remnants of your perfume. It’s not his favorite fragrance, but the underlying warm scent of you is intoxicating. He’ll collect whatever belongings you decide you want with you when he returns, if anything, but he doubts you’ll miss much. Your stuff will seem like a heap of rags and garbage by comparison. He’s looking forward to how the perfumes and lotions he’s bought you will smell on your skin, and how you’ll look in the clothing he’s picked for you. He adjusts you into a bridal carry in his arms and gently kicks off from the ground, holding you firm to his chest. The city is beautiful at night, a landscape of stars mirroring that of the sky above it. He’s always loved it here, and yet he’s shared it with a painful few.
Madelyn never lets him take her to the skies. Maeve had been wowed initially, but she had quickly grown disillusioned with it. With him.
You’ll be different. The trip back to his penthouse feels agonizingly slow, but he maintains a lesser pace to keep the wind from rashing your skin, savoring the featherlight weight of you in his arms at last. He lands deftly on his balcony, stepping through his open reinforced glass doors. After laying you down in his bed, he takes a moment to slip off your shoes, setting them aside. He eases your purse off of your shoulder, and places it on the nightstand. After sprawling a thin blanket over you, he takes a step back and puts his hands on his hips to admire the perfectly domestic scene he’s set.
Slowly, he breaks out into a smile. His bed swallows you up, makes you look small and lonely. He’s the missing piece, of course. He’s already looking forward to seeing himself complete the picture in the mirror above you. He imagines coming home to you like this, curled up in his–no, your shared bed, blanket pulled up over your shoulders to block the chill left by his absence.
Oh, how you’ll miss him when he’s gone.
You’ll have nothing and no one to concern yourself with except for him. No burdens, no dread, no stress. You’ll live in peace and security the likes of which you can scarcely imagine, spoiled rotten by the bounty of all that he is.
Neither of you will ever be lonely again.
Tilting his head slightly, he listens to the sound of you. Your breathing is shallow, the beat of your heart steady. Normal people don’t realize it, don’t have the capacity for it, but a heartbeat is as distinct as a fingerprint. Over the years, he’s learned to read them as such. He’s memorized yours. There isn’t much for him to do in the time that you’re asleep. He knows precisely how long you’ll be out; the anesthesia blend he gave you was straight out of Vought’s lab, and the dose he gave you leaves him with at least an hour before the two of you meet properly. The anticipation is enough to make him giddy. For all that Homelander knows about you, there is plenty he does not. The externals of your life have only provided him so much, but that will come in time. He didn’t bother with perusing your social media accounts, not being particularly proficient in them himself. 
Besides, he wants getting to know you to be an organic experience.
He remembers to take your phone out of your bag and dispose of that rag he used to dose you while he’s at it. He unlocks your phone the way he’s seen you do a dozen times before, and spends some time ensuring that no one will be expecting you anywhere any time soon. All it takes is one quick email and you no longer have a job. A few social media posts later, you’ve informed anyone who might think of you that you’ll be enjoying an impromptu sabbatical in Europe.
The power of technology. After that, he pops your phone into the safe behind one of the dozens of portraits on his wall.
When he hears you starting to stir, renewed butterflies start fluttering about in his stomach. You have no idea that your entire life–no, your entire perception of reality–is about to change. No more dodgy commutes, no more living paycheck-to-paycheck. You’ll be free to admire the world from the lap of luxury–his lap, to be specific. You make a quiet moan, the chemical fog wearing off gradually. He moves swiftly to your bedside, primed with a welcoming smile, hands on his hips. “Riiiise and shine, sleepyhead,” he coaxes, leaning forward at the waist. Still disoriented from the drugs in your system, you stare at him as if you’re dreaming. He doesn’t blame you. In almost every other reality, there’s no explanation for the fact you’re seeing America’s favorite hero, the Homelander, standing above you. He knows the side effects of the drug have left a strange buzzing in your ears, and that your tongue likely feels heavy and cottony. He’s already got water for you on the bedside table. “Home…lander?” You manage to get out. His smile broadens. That’s the first time he’s heard you say his name. You look cute like this, bleary-eyed and needy. He’s grown accustomed to seeing you as a put together provider, self-sufficient and tending to the needs of those around you, but rarely your own. Seeing you unraveled feels like a secret intimacy for him alone. “The one and only,” he preens. Now that you’ve seen him posed valiantly by your side, he takes a seat on the bed next to you, reaching out to brush his gloved knuckles along your forehead. He attributes the slight flinch to your drug addled confusion. Poor thing. If he’d had an alternative to using a sedative, he would have preferred that.
Not that it matters now. You’re finally here.
( chapter two )
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pricegouge · 2 months
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Haul
Part Three MDNI
Master list | on ao3
slasher!trucker!141 x reader
series cw: dark fic. major character deaths, rape/noncon
chapter cw: noncon nudity, noncon touching, graphic depiction of injuries
It takes some test runs, but you eventually figure out your arm and shoulder are okay, though your collar bone likely isn't. You're lucky there - as far as you can feel, if it's fractured at all, it isn't compounded and you'd much rather heal a clavicle than a shoulder. Your cheekbone's fucked though; you can feel how it sinks into your face in a way it never has before, and blood pools in your sinus cavity, infects your saliva. It's likely going to need surgery, though you doubt your current ride is headed to a hospital. If you survive this, you'll end up with a pretty lopsided face, you figure.   If you survive this indeed, though.
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You count distance in the taste of fabric on your tongue. As hours and miles pass, the cotton fades from heavy copper, to salt-lick piquant. The trailer heats with the rising sun, metal hull hotboxing you in. The tight space you're kept in is padded, probably for sound proofing though you're almost grateful for it, given how it prevents you from burning yourself on the corrugated siding.
It's hard to guess how much time passes. It feels like days, but the trailer does not go through a cooling cycle, nor do you die of dehydration, so you assume only a handful of hours pass. You spend them drifting in and out of consciousness, wishing you had enough wherewithal to try escaping. Unfortunately, with the heat and the dark comes exhaustion, and with the adrenaline crash comes intense pain so you do little more than catalog injuries when you can concentrate enough to do so. 
It takes some test runs, but you eventually figure out your arm and shoulder are okay, though your collar bone likely isn't. You're lucky there - as far as you can feel, if it's fractured at all, it isn't compounded and you'd much rather heal a clavicle than a shoulder. Your cheekbone's fucked though; you can feel how it sinks into your face in a way it never has before, and blood pools in your sinus cavity, infects your saliva. It's likely going to need surgery, though you doubt your current ride is headed to a hospital. If you survive this, you'll end up with a pretty lopsided face, you figure.  
If you survive this indeed, though.
Poor Ash. She may have been a pain in the ass, but no one deserves to go out like that. It's hard to stop the tears when you think of her but you try anyway, knowing full well that further inflaming your face isn't going to do anyone any good. You wonder why they kept you alive - why Ash didn't make the cut. Or, did, you suppose. Maybe they felt two victims would have been too difficult to deal with. Maybe they thought Ash, who was still able to get around quite well, would've been too much of a handful. 
Maybe you're trying to reason with hurricane season, as it were, find rationality where there was none. These men were motivated by something you'd never understand and perhaps it was best not to waste your efforts on it. Still, it's hard to move past Simon and Gaz's brief exchange. 
'For cap?'
'For all of us.'
The thought of being shared by them made your stomach turn, but the thought that there was another one - one they evidently often brought victims back home to - that was even worse.
'Captain,' you sneer. You can't help but picture some old geezer who couldn't pull his own victims anymore; real Texas Chainsaw shit. The boys would probably have to hold you down so he could wax poetic at you about what a good hauler he used to be, help him lift a tire iron so he could get his rocks off. It would be enough to make you laugh, if it didn't feel like the tire iron was already whaling on you.
Still, you suppose knowing your fate lies with an old man and his lackeys is better than the alternative; even in your current state you know a truck with a soundproofed false back generally spells human trafficking for anyone with the misfortune to find themselves stuck in one. Your prospect doesn't make you happy by any means, but you suppose the enemy you know is better. Even if that enemy is a group of known killers. 
It's not too long after the trailer starts to cool that the quality of the roads changes; long, smooth interstate giving way to potholed, winding highway. You grit your teeth each time you're jostled, groan every time you remember your jaw is actually your biggest source of pain. 
The passiveness with which you wonder about our whereabouts surprises you, but you're so exhausted you don't hold yourself too accountable for that. It's not until the truck slows to a stop that you sit up straighter, heartbeat hammering when the back up alarm confirms your fears that you have arrived at your destination. They let you sit for a while after. Long enough to get cold. There's the occasional sound of air brakes firing and you figure you're in some sort of lot. You try yelling for help a few times, but between the gag in your mouth and the soundproofing around you, your cries go unanswered.
At least you hope that's the reason. Otherwise this entire lot is filled with people who are in on this potential trafficking ring and Simon's words echo even more ominously in your ears. 
A quiet rattling form the end of the trailer tells you when they open the doors hours later. The truck engine roars to life seconds after, backing up the final few feet necessary to slam into the loading dock hard enough to make a gruff voice from within yell. 
It's unfamiliar, makes you steady yourself harder against the unknown quality of it. You figure this must be Cap, feel some small sense of satisfaction when the old, ragged voice matches what you'd pictured. You listen intently as pallets are cleared away, the loud clatter of the jack ringing even through your soundproofing. There's a lower murmur of laughter, the boys regaling the older man with a story you can't quite hear but can definitely infer. When the truck is fully unloaded, their heavy boots tread the short runway - Johnny's truck, then; you'd wondered who you'd been riding with -, their voices coming clearer as they draw near. 
"- banged up, but mostly from the crash," you hear Simon rumble. 
Johnny's next, his grating brogue echoing within the trailer, "Well, except her nose. We can thank Gaz for that one."
"She can thank herself for it," Gaz snarks back, and you would bite your tongue if you could. There's a beat of silence. You can almost feel the heavy gaze their silent captain turns on Gaz, prompting him to elaborate, "She ran. Not very fast. When I caught up, she tried bite me so I headbutted her a little."
"A little!?" Johnny cries, but is cut off by a gruff scoff.
"No way to treat our new guest, Kyle. Go on, make it up to her. Bring her out here."
You expect something dramatic, like a flood of blinding light or strong hands reaching in to yank you out. Instead, when the panel is pulled back, the indirect light from the building is mostly blocked by the row of bodies in front of you, and Gaz squats off to the side, body language friendly and inviting despite the coldness you can feel radiating from him. This man hates you, you can feel it. You remember how he wanted to kill you, wish you could tell him the feeling was mutual. Rather, you stare at him loathingly until he tires of your inaction, leans in to grab you by the zip ties that bind your feet and cuts them with a knife you didn't even see him pull. When he grabs your wrists and pulls, you resist as much as you're able but in the end you're no match and he pulls you from your hideaway with little more than a grunt of pain and annoyance when you elbow him in the ribs.
"Feisty one, is she?" the captain's low growl observes and you turn to the newcomer with fury in your eyes which stalls out when you take him in properly for the first time.
You're disappointed to discover he's not as old as you'd been expecting. Nowhere near, in fact. Mid forties most likely, early fifties at absolute most. And densely built enough to speak of a physicality far younger. None of them were small, but the captain still managed to look big among them - nearly as tall as Simon and just as broad as Johnny, though it looked a little leaner on him given his height. You think the worst part about him is how genial he looks. Like Gaz, he's a brand of handsome that comes with charm and approachability, and you wonder how long it will take for that facade to crack like Gaz's did. Worse, if it ever will.
Certainly, his voice is disarmingly sweet when he greets you, coos and calls you a dove. "Weren't lying were they, love? Did a number on the poor girl, Ghost."
Simon - Ghost? - grunts in acknowledgement, motions for you to step closer. You don't, of course, and get a sharp shove from Gaz which sends you stumbling toward the larger men, caught by a firm hand on your bad shoulder. You yelp, breath heaving behind your gag as Cap adjusts his grip, studying you by your hip instead as his eyes dart to Simon.
"Shoulder. Maybe collar bone. Happened when she flipped her car." When you flipped it. Right.
The older man tuts dissapprovingly. You try to swat his hands away but stumble without his support. He ignores you anyway, hand returning easily while the other reaches up to carefully grip the edge of the duct tape. "Can't be easy to breathe in there, can it doll? Not with that poor nose. Let's get this off, shall we? Easy," he soothes, voice a low pur. His task hurts like hell anyway, the sticky strip pulling your tender, swollen skin. He's gentle about it at least, murmuring sympathetically when you can't contain your whimpers. You don't judge yourself too harshly when a few tears slip through, but do very much so when his thumbing them away twists your stomach unexpectedly. 
It's just because you haven't seen tenderness all night, you reason, and resolve yourself against him, even as he removes the gag with utmost delicacy.
"That better, dove?" he asks when your breaths come quicker, deeper. It's like resurfacing after being submerged for too long, clarity coming to you like a cold breeze on soaked skin: this is a calm meant to put you at ease, but you will die here if you become complacent.
So when Cap tells you to call him John and asks what your name is, you spit at him, blood and mucus staining his shoes.
The boys go quiet, like a record scratch moment in an old b-movie. You stare up at John defiantly, waiting for him to scream at you, hit you - anything.
Instead, he just pulls a pocket knife from his pants, grabs your bindings when you go to flinch away. "You've had a long day, love," he starts as he slips the thin blade between your wrists. Your skin is tender there, rubbed raw from the tight binds. The cool blade feels sharp despite the care he takes to aim the edge away from you, never once letting it touch your skin. "You've had a long day, so I'm going to let you get away with that this time." When he pulls against the zip ties, they cut into your skin briefly before giving with a sharp twang. He pulls one of your wrists into his free hand, rubs the raw skin there with a calloused palm before taking the other wrist in his grasp and giving it the same treatment. "But the next time you misbehave will not go well for you. Understood?"
Of course, you don't listen. Fuck this guy for real, you figure. What's the worst he can do? Kill you?
This time, when you go to spit at him, he catches it against his palm, wide hand slapping over your mouth so hard you're breifly concerned for your good cheek. You gasp in shock and pain, nearly choking on your own spit. John steps closer, one boot knocking your foot wide to let himself between your legs. He's so close, if he moved his palm you'd be breathing the same air.
As it stands, you can barely breathe at all, nose flush against the fat side of his hand. His own breath fans across your skin, heavy and hot as a bellows. The quality of it is thick, humid. You're glad you can't smell anything because it feels like it reeks. 
"Simon, she give you a name?"
Ghost's uncomfortable movement is obvious in its silence. "Took to calling 'er Betty."
"Betty," John repeats, lips curling in amusement. "Like an old timey, proper little wife. That you, pet?" You wanna shake your head, fear for your sinus cavity if you do. "Not yet, eh? Gonna have to train you up first. Ease you into it." As if in demonstration, his body sags into your own, presence oppressive. "That's okay, pet. We'll start you off easy. Get you nice and clean, get you fed. In the morning, Kyle will help with your injuries and when you feel more like a proper lady, we'll try again, hm?"
You can't say anything, so you don't.
"But in the meantime, I can't let that kind of behavior go unchecked. Boys," he calls, eyes still boring into you. "Which one of you wants to help our guest clean up?"
The general din of excitement makes you flinch, eyes going wide as if pleading with the man who holds you so cruelly will do any good. When Johnny suggests they play rock paper scissors to decide who gets the honors, it's suddenly, belatedly clear to you that your murder would almost be a kindness. No, the worst thing this man could do for you would be to keep you. John sees it the moment you realize this. His grip eases, eyes softening in some gross perversion of kindness. He strokes your cheek soothingly when Simon goes out in the first round, smiles condescendingly when you flinch at Johnny's crow of victory. John tuts at you, but says no more as he turns you toward the Scot.
"All yours, Soap," he rumbles, pushing you not ungently toward the other man. "Spic and span, you hear?"
"Aye, sir. Thank ye, sir." Johnny's hands are much harsher than John's when he guides you from the trailer, giving you no sympathy when you flinch under the harsh warehouse lighting. You try to take stock of your surroundings as you're pulled along: spare, dusty racking; a forklift in need of repair. There are multiple loading docks, most of the viewports obscured by backed up trucks. One sits vacant and you briefly wonder if there's even more of these monsters waiting in the wings before you're pulled past a dank little office. You catch sight of outdated equipment - a rolodex, a CB - but it's the shadow boxes full of military honors that your eyes lock on the longest.
Of fucking course.
The door Johnny leads you out through is tucked off the side of the building. You stumble when he pulls you down through the door, feet unsteady where they kick up dirt. It's cold outside, colder than it had been in the dankness of the trailer. You can't help but shiver, bite your tongue as best you can when your companion takes that as invitation to draw you in close and rub a big, solid hand up your arm. 
"We'll have ye warmed up in no time, lass," he promises, but you can hear the amusement in his voice. This man murdered your friend with a crowbar and dragged her around like a slaughtered animal. You expect no kindness from him. 
He orders you to strip before turning to a small station built into the side of the warehouse. You do not strip, electing instead to take off running in the opposite direction, cursing as the gravel churns loudly under your shoes. Soap swears, his own heavy boots following at a pace you didn't think his burly body capable of. Your breaths burn your chest, each pull coming labored in your blind panic but you refuse to slow or relent, ignoring the flaming pain in your shoulder every time you swing your arm forward for propulsion.
Well, you ignore it until the ground comes tilting up to meet you, your body crushed beneath the considerable weight of one grunting, cursing Scot. You sob at the pain, or maybe the fear - hard to tell. When he levers himself off you, he wastes no time grabbing your ankle as he stands up, towering over you. If you were capable of stringing two thoughts together, you'd wonder if this was the last thing Ash saw: pale blue eyes gleaming in the low light, the cruelty that twists his face. Instead you wonder how likely your arm is to maintain full mobility after a night like this. 
Not very, you decide, sobbing in pain as he drags you back to the warehouse. He's muttering something above you, but you can't hear him over your own cries. When you kick at him futilely, he yanks on your ankle until you fear for it and you don't try it again. Not even when he gets you where he wants you, back under the wan outdoor lighting of the station he'd turned to before, crouching down next to you to rip at your shoelaces.
"Please, don't," you murmur instead, fear churning in your belly as he continues to strip you. You'd known it would come to this, known the moment the captain had mentioned something about a wife. It doesn't make it easier, doesn't make the prospect of the gritty sand underneath you any more comfortable, or your repulsion for the man above you any less sharp. "Please, please, please let me go. I could -."
"What? Suck me off?" Soap laughs harshly, "Think ah'm gonnae ge' tha' anyway, hen."
You were going to say keep your mouth shut, but you suppose that never works anyway.
The sound you make when he pulls your pants off is wretched, but the shriek he earns when he pulls a knife on you is worse. His laugh is mean, reveling in your fear for a moment before cutting your shirt from you with one deft movement. He's pulling you to your feet before you can really process why and shoving you against the metal siding of the warehouse.
"Stay there," he warns and you're unsure if his tone or the throb in your shoulder is a more effective threat. When he walks back toward the station he'd been after earlier, your gaze turns to follow until you catch sight of your own shoulder at the bottom of your field of view and you draw short, taking in the severe swelling there. You prod at the edges of the mottling, wincing at your own ministrations. 
Absorbed in your own injuries, you don't notice when Soap turns on the spigot, or when he aims the nozzle of the high pressure hose at you. He calls for you to hold your breath, but gives you no more time than that which is necessary to look up, confused, before he's spraying you down.
It's freezing, the flow hard enough to bruise where it jets against the fatty bits of you; feels like it might sheer straight through hide where your skin thins around joints. You gasp, get a mouthful of aerated hose water. Spluttering, you try blocking the stream with your hands despite it feeling like your palms are being struck by a thousand rulers.
"S'wha' we use tae wash the trucks!" Soap calls, cackling loud enough to be heard over the spray that engulfs you. You can't get away from it no matter how much you fold into yourself, catching the jet alternatingly on your hip, your ribs, your ass. It does a better job of indexing your injuries than you did, the blooms of pain where you accidentally turn a bruise toward it letting you know that the hip which took the brunt of the collision is sore, that there's a spot on your good shoulder where Gaz tackled you which smarts. Your knees and elbows are all scuffed up, dirt grinding in before being stripped away. You feel like you're being sandpapered down; buffed until you're gleaming despite knowing how the dirt he kicks up clings to your skin wherever the hose isn't actively being pointed.
Soap keeps it up for another minute or so, only turning it off when your shaking gets so bad you think you're like to fall apart. "Quit yer whinging," he warns, creeping closer as he adjusts the nozzle to another setting. "Jes' havin' a laugh, bonnie, no need tae get all bent outta shape."
You want to tell him you're not laughing, but a small voice in your head says you should be grateful he didn't turn that hose on your face, so you keep quiet to prevent him getting any ideas.
When he's close enough to touch, Soap reaches out and grabs your wrist, spraying your pebbled skin down with a softer shower of water that would set you at ease, if not for how cold it is. From your arm, the stream moves up over your head, mussing your hair beyond recognition before trickling down your battered face. Here, the cold water feels good against heated skin and despite yourself, you heave a sigh of relief, tilting slightly into the unexpected relief. 
"Like tha' hen?" he asks, and you hesitate briefly, wondering how much satisfaction you want to give him. He doesn't give you a chance to decide, ruining your brief moment of reprieve by reaching out and tweaking one hard nipple.
You squawk, swatting at him. Johnny laughs long and loud, letting the stream from the hose fall dead as he watches you fume, shaking.
"Look like one ah them wee doggies, lass," he chuckles, "angry cause ye cannae even bite properly." The bastard flicks your cheek, feigning a sympathetic coo when you flinch away. "Tha's righ', bonnie, nothin' ye can do tae fight back," he murmurs, gliding his fingertips against your cheek in a move he probably thinks is soothing. "Ye jes' remember tha', eh? Might keep you alive."
You swallow back the lump in your throat, eyes boring a hole into his shoulder because you can't stand to look him in his terribly cold eyes. When Johnny moves again, his touches are back to the easy, soft caresses from before as he hoses you down. He's surprisingly good at it, despite being armed with only a shammy and a gnarly looking bar of soap. At least he knows to avoid your hair once he realizes he'll need conditioner. That damage is already done, but you appreciate him not dragging his fucking fingers through it on top of everything else. You try taking the soap from him once but he just tuts at you warningly so you go back to shivering, crossing your arms over your chest in an attempt to preserve body heat and keep yourself marginally modest. You can't decide if he's being obstinately particular just to torment you longer or if he's genuinely just like this until he raises your good arm above your head and finds your armpit overgrown.
He grins, sending you a delightfully scandalized look. "See Ghost chose well. Cap's gonnae love ye," he chuckles, and you feel your panic heighten when you think of the threatening older man again. Soap notices. "No need tae worry, hen. You jes' keep bein' good fer us and Cap'll be good tae ye."
For some reason, you don't trust this man's definition of being treated well.
After getting you all washed up, Johnny marches you back into the warehouse where the other men gather around a small, dingy breakroom table pecking at microwaved burritos. They're laughing uproariously as you arrive, Gaz talking animatedly about a loading mishap back in Arizona. The noise drifts off when they spot you, eying you over like a scrap of meat. There's no covering everything and despite yourself, you're almost grateful when John stands, bringing you a blanket he had folded on the seat beside himself. 
"Feeling better, doll?" he asks, patting you dry with a gentleness you didn't expect from the big man. He frowns at the swelling of your shoulder, eyes darting between you and it with an exaggerated level of concern that makes you want to hurl.
You avoid his gaze, your own flickering around the room as you ignore John, trying to gather your resolve enough to appease him. It's a struggle until your eyes find Simon's, apathetic as always despite the disapproving set of his scarred mouth. 
"Yes, sir," you murmur, watching raptly as Simon disguises a quick nod as a glance at his plate. Your heart rate picks up, an impossible tendril of hope slithering up your aorta when John hums contentedly at your words.
"That's a girl, love," he starts, warm palm falling heavy on your back as he starts to guide you back through the warehouse. "Gaz, bring the soup. You're hungry, right pet?"
You are, but Gaz doesn't wait for confirmation, falling in stride as John guides you toward the quaint office you'd caught a glimpse of earlier.
"Now, one day, you'll be able to stay up here with us," John promises, gesturing magnanimously across the dingy warehouse as if it contained all the gold of El Dorado within its rickety racking. "But until then, we're going to have to keep you below." 
Gait faltering, you glance up at the older man fearfully but he pays you no mind at all. "Don't worry honey, only temporary. And I'll have the boys visit you daily to keep you nice and stimulated, hm? Gaz," he barks before you can reflect too much on his choice of words. Kyle, evidently knowing exactly what's expected of him, places the soup bowl he's been carrying on the cluttered desk before moving some chairs, rolling the rug back enough to reveal a cutaway door in the cement slab.
You still, every muscle in your body tensing up when John tries to coax you along. "'S'not so bad, sweetheart, I promise. Come look, yeah? Think you'll have a nice little time if you just give it a try."
Like hell you'll give it a try, knees locking up so tight you look like a GI Joe when John guides you first down the stairs. It's cool, the descent marked by the wet gradient of the cement slab as you pass further underground. It's deeper than you'd expect, the dug dirt bottom damp under your feet when you alight on the landing. There's a short hall ahead, braced by rotted-looking timber. A lone door on the opposite end, braced on one side with a long line of bolts and locks. A single light hangs from the short ceiling, low enough you could smack your forehead off of it if you're not careful. 
"Had Simon come down while you were out, get it nice and ready for you," John brags. You doubt the room on the other side of that door could be made live-in ready even if Simon had been given three years to work on it, but you know better than to say as much. 
This time, when John prods you forward, your legs don't obey. "CanIsleepwithyou?" you blurt, a last ditch effort you're not sure you want him to accept.
But John just chuckles. "Eager, eh pet? Don't worry, you'll earn that right soon enough. Now go on, I'm sure you'd like some nice new clothes to put on, hm?"
Damn him, but you do, so you slink forward, ducking under the hanging light as you pass. The door creaks when you pull it open, weight heavy despite how meager it looks. It feels solid, unbreakable, and you notice quickly that you won't be able to barricade it if you have to pull it open. John does not notice your hesitance, following you into the room with a proud little smirk on his mustached face.
"Well, what do you think?" 
Not much. The floor isn't finished, just cold tile pressed into the dirt. The walls and ceilings are, though, and you briefly feel grateful for it until the batting on the door registers and you realize it's for soundproofing purposes. There's a bed in the corner, larger than you need yourself and made up in cutesy sheets with a strawberry motif. A pile of heavy quilts sits folded at the foot and despite yourself, your fingers twitch eagerly at the prospect of sleeping soon, warm and snug under all that weight. 
"We've got some clothes for you here," John continues. You get the feeling he doesn't need a lot of input so you stand there quietly as he opens a foot locker for you, tattered and olive green. Inside sit two neat stacks of clothes, battered looking but approximately the right size. You remember Johnny's comment about the Captain liking your pits and wonder if they always bring him back a certain type.
And if so, where they are.
"G'on love, pick out something you like," John leers, and you realize you won't be able to get away with waiting until he and Kyle leave to get dressed. 
There's a marked efficiency to your movements. Grabbing the first top you see, you briefly check the tag before doing the same with the bottoms at the top of the pile. Close enough for rock and roll, you figure, dropping your blanket to the cold floor and pulling the clothes onto yourself as quickly as possible. Kyle's eyes are heavy, John's heavier. Your skin crawls, the goosebumps which never really went away after your little bath returning with a vengeance. To your immense displeasure, John has to help you pull your bad arm through the sleeve and he tuts sympathetically when you whine.
"Sorry, sweetheart. I'll bring you down some button ups tomorrow, yeah? You nod when he pauses too long, realizing you're not going to be let off the hook without a proper answer. You creep toward the bed when he hums in acknowledgement, but he tuts in warning again, nodding toward a little desk shoved off to the side of the room. You sit obediently, thanking him with a little murmur when he ferries the bowl of soup from Gaz to you. He hovers, watching raptly until you bring a spoonful of the room temperature meal to your mouth. 
"Good, right?" he asks, before you can even get a proper taste of it. 
You take your time swallowing, playing up the pain in your cheek as you try to suss out a good response. It's just microwaved soup as far as you can tell, but you figure saying as much won't garner you any favors. Instead, you hum appreciatively and shovel in another bite before John can ask you any more questions.
It works, mostly. John takes a quick lap around the room instead of standing over you, sighing now and again at whatever he finds while Gaz continues to stand in the doorway, evidently unamused. 
"It needs work, I'll give you that," John eventually concedes as you slurp at your meal. You hadn't realized how hungry you were until that sweet sweet MSG hit your tongue. "It needs work, but if you're good, we can spend some time down here fixing it up for you. Would you like that?"
You stall, spooning through some of the chunkier bits at the bottom of your bowl. It was kind of them to give you soup, you registered belatedly. Solid foods would have undoubtedly fucked up your mouth. Instead of answering, you ask John what would happen if you were to be bad and watch as his genial nature flips like a switch.
"Got a couple of news articles upstairs if you'd like to read 'em and find out."
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