#every character in this show drives me crazy i love them sooooo much

[bluebugjay]

I could write essays on Charles' character. He's so tragic. That trope of 'you've become the very thing you wish to destroy' isn't in act here but it is his exact fear. He was brutally murdered by his friends, friends who we are shown beating up another kid as well, so assumably this isn't a rare thing for them, plus his abusive father. In life he was surrounded by violence.

And now in death he chooses to label himself 'the brawn' , Edwin relys on him to be the fighter as he can't even throw a punch, he's the only one of the main characters who has a signature weapon (his cricket bat) , when he gets angry or defensive or scared he gets violent. Because of course he does, look at his life.

He gets so scared of being like his father or even his literal killers that he puts on a positive mask all of the time (30+ years) to hide the anger and the sadness because he's a 'good guy' and he's only seen bad guys handle their emotions the way he does. He gets defensive over Brad and Hunter to the point of fault because he's desperately grasping for a man who isn't the worst. He's looking for hope that he isn't just like the others. He says "We've tried it your way, and it did nothing. Let's try mine." referring to his 'way' as fighting, which immediately seems weird considering Edwin and Crystal argue more than any other characters in the show but that's just the thing, they argue. They're quick with their words and sharp and harsh with them but they don't get aggressive and that's what Charles picks up on. Their anger doesn't become aggression but his does and he villainises himself for that.

Truth is, he could never be like his father or his friends turned bullies because he's their victim and he died their victim, (Night nurse: You never made it better and then you died) His aggression only occurs in defense of others, in the Devlin House he swings at the Dad whilst saying "Think you're big and tough with that axe? Big guy, killing a bunch of women?" he fights in defence of them. Then when he attacks the Night Nurse its in defence of Edwin being sent to hell, them being split up and also probably for how she tricked Crystal into having hope she'd found her family. (though spurred on by the Night Nurse forcing him to relive his traumatic memories too) It's always in defence of someone, to protect them. Which is the exact opposite of why his father and bullies were violent.

This is what's so good about dbda because obviously aggression is a flaw even with the best morals backing it up. Crystal calls him out on his anger issues, saying her and Edwin are on eggshells around him and later on Charles breaks down crying to Edwin who insists he is a good person because he cares about being one. Charles is allowed to have this journey that is most likely still ongoing, dealing with anger and grief and fear and masculinity and violence. We never doubt he's a good guy despite his flaws because he simply is, and all of the other characters know that as well.

[mhokday]

BEAUTIFUL PERSON AWARD! Once you are given this award you're supposed to paste it in the asks of 8 people who deserve it. If you break the chain nothing happens, but it's sweet to know someone thinks you're beautiful inside and out💫 (HI NICOLE I MISS YOU SO MUCH I HOPE YOU'RE OKAY ALSO IF YOU HAVE ANY THOUGHTS ABOUT LAST TWILIGHT STARTING FILMING PLEASE SAY THEM INTO THE MIC 🎤)

MONICAAAA!! II HOPE YOU ARE DOING WELL TOOOO IM DOING FINE HAHAHA AND I ALSO MISS YOU SO MUCH ;-;;; SORRY I TOOK SOOOO LONG TO RESPOND I WAS WAITING UNTIL I HAD COHERENT THOUGHTS ABOUT LAST TWILIGHT AND NOW I REALIZE I NEVER WILL . I'M JUST. AAAAAH!!!

anyways im following every single update of the filming and u dont know how happy it makes me to just see jimmysea filming something again and with p'aof nonetheless i still can't believe this is real and happening.

LIKE THE WAY MORK LOOKS AT DAYYY OHHH I'M GONNA BE SICKKKKKK their chemistry is insane at how it can shine through SO MUch in one still. like the fact that mork looks at day like he hung the moon makes me feel very ill . CALM DOWN BUDDY NOBODY IS TAKING HIM AWAY FROM YOUUUU

also it drives me a bit crazy how when i look at them i dont see puentalay at ALL. i love that. like you still have the sweet chemistry between them but their characters feel completely different. and you can see this all in a photo. acting kings. like mork seems so rough around the edges and day seems so jaded and just the dynamic feels so different from puentalay first meet its so crazy i love it.

ALSO DAY LOOKS SO CUTE HERE IM SOOOOO SAD. he seems different than my impression of him from the mock trailer like he looks so much babier but i am not complaining ! anyways if i think too much about this show i will combust. so i will just leave you here. i am so excited i could cry. the day i get jimmysea back on my screen is a day everyone should fear

[beepboop358]

A Prom in S4 Theory & Music Coding Predictions

Some leaked set pics indicate that there MAY BE a junior/senior prom at Hawkins High, which they are calling the "Lover's Ball". It's unclear if this prom will be included on screen, or if it will just be mentioned as an event coming up at Hawkins High because this flyer could just extra set decor. Regardless if the prom happens on screen or not, there will probably be some tension about 'who's asking who' to the prom that we will see in s4. Given that this picture was just leaked a few weeks ago, it probably falls closer to the end of the season sequentially.

Having a big school dance in s4 is suspiciously close to how they had the Snowball scene in s2. This would certainly follow the even/odd season patterns, (and actually add to the list of the patterns), which kind of makes me think we will see this prom on screen, or at the very least it will be mentioned in the course of the season.

The Duffer Brothers love Steven King and reference his work and especially 'IT' a lot in the show, but they haven't done anything with Carrie yet so maybe we will get a Carrie moment this season at the prom...

Carrie was on the video store fridays movie inspiration board for ST4.

At the "Lover's Ball", there will be definitely be some music coding relating to Byler. Since music coding is kind of a key thing in the show, I've been rifling through 80's songs to try and find some that may fit with s4's themes/character storylines (and I may do a seperate post about that later), but for this post I'm just gonna focus on what they might use at the prom for relating to Byler.

Since the season is most likely going to take place in 1986, I only selected songs that had a compatible release year so it would be historically accurate. (these songs would also be great for a byler playlist!)

Some strong contenders for the songs that might play at the prom to reference Mike and Will's relationship could be:

"True Colors" by Cyndi Lauper (1986)

This song is honestly too good of an option for them not to use. I'm reallllyyy crossing my fingers for this one.

It's hard to take courage In a world full of people You can lose sight of it all And the darkness inside you Can make you feel so small

"And I see your true colors Shining through I see your true colors And that's why I love you So don't be afraid (don't be afraid) To let them show your true colors True colors are beautiful (you're beautiful, oh) Like a rainbow Oh oh oh oh oh like a rainbow"

If this world makes you crazy And you've taken all you can bear You call me up Because you know I'll be there

"Heaven" by Bryan Adams (1984)

This first verse is literally just the story of Byler... 😭 The rest of the song applies but that verse verse is just sooooo accurate. (I'm crossing my fingers for this one too)

"Oh thinkin' about all our younger years There was only you and me We were young and wild and free Now nothing can take you away from me We've been down that road before But that's over now You keep me comin' back for more

Baby you're all that I want When you're lyin' here in my arms I'm findin' it hard to believe We're in heaven And love is all that I need And I found it there in your heart Isn't too hard to see We're in heaven

Oh once in your life you find someone Who will turn your world around Bring you up when you're feelin' down Yeah nothin' can change what you mean to me Oh there's lots that I could say But just hold me now 'Cause our love will light the way"

"Take My Breath Away" by Berlin (1986)

This song is on Will's Spotify playlist, and I thought it could also be used at the prom since it's a romantic song. I see it as an 'entrance to the prom' moment song, almost like a 'first look' - like the Mike and El moment at the snowball when she first walks in, but with Mike and Will this time. I think the lyrics clearly hint to this kind of 'first look' moment as well.

"Watchin' every motion in my foolish lover's game On this endless ocean, finally lovers know no shame Turning and returning to some secret place inside Watchin' in slow motion as you turn around and say...take my breath away"

Watchin' every motion in this foolish lover's game Haunted by the notion, somewhere there's a love in flames Turning and returning to some secret place inside Watchin' in slow motion as you turn my way and say...take my breath away"

"In The Air Tonight" by Phil Collins (1981)

This song was originally meant to be included in the snowball scene from s2, but it ultimately was not used and "Every Breath You Take" was used for this scene instead. Since it was intended to be a part of the s2 dance, that's why I think it may be used at the prom this season. (you can read the scripts on 8flix)

——— I forgot to include this explanation originally BUT, I think this song might be used to show some anger/resentment between the two, and to show a decent amount of tension, depending on their development this season. Like maybe Mike is kind of leading Will on in private by continuing to initiate intimate scenes between them, but in public Mike is still trying to put on his “straight boy act” and kind of being a jackass about it, and this song could be used to show the tension between them that has caused.

"And I've been waiting for this moment, for all my life, (Oh lord)

Well, I was there and I saw what you did I saw it with my own two eyes So you can wipe off that grin, I know where you've been It's all been a pack of lies.

Well I remember, I remember don't worry How could I ever forget It's the first time, the last time we ever met But I know the reason why you keep this silence up

No you don't fool me The hurt doesn't show, but the pain still grows It's no stranger to you and me"

"In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel (1986)

Some of the lyrics in this song just SCREAMS byler, just look at the 1st, 2nd and 4th paragraphs. I would be suprised if they didn't use this song in either s4/s5.

Love, I get so lost sometimes Days pass and this emptiness fills my heart When I want to run away I drive off in my car But whichever way I go I come back to the place you are

All my instincts, they return The grand facade, so soon will burn Without a noise, without my pride I reach out from the inside

In your eyes The light, the heat (in your eyes) I am complete (in your eyes) I see the doorway (in your eyes) To a thousand churches (in your eyes) The resolution (in your eyes) Of all the fruitless searches (in your eyes)

Love, I don't like to see so much pain So much wasted and this moment keeps slipping away I get so tired working so hard for our survival I look to the time with you to keep me awake and alive

"Heroes" by David Bowie (1975)

David Bowie was bisexual. A cover of his song “Heroes” is used in the show twice already, sung by Peter Gabriel. The song plays when they pull Will's fake body out of the water in season one and Mike cries in his Mom's arms, with some very queer-coded lyrics in the background, and after Hopper's letter in s3 (which is very Byler-centric)

"I will be king. And you, you will be queen 'Cause we're lovers, and that is a fact. Yes, we're lovers, and that is that. Though nothing will keep us together. We could steal time just for one day We can be heroes forever and ever. What d'you say? I, I wish I could swim, like dolphins, like dolphins could swim I, I can remember (I remember) Standing by the wall (By the wall) And the guns shot above our heads (Over our heads) And we kissed as though nothing could fall (Nothing could fall) And the shame was on the other side. Oh, we can beat them forever and ever. Then we could be heroes just for one day We're nothing, and nothing will help us Maybe we're lying, then you better not stay But we could be safer just for one day"

I just thought the above songs might be some highly likely possibilities given that they fit the year of the s4 and also make references to not only love, but the idea of hiding, pain, shame, longing, etc., and can make some (partially stretching here) references to other things in the show such as:

RAINBOWS and TRUE COLORS, SHINING THROUGH (rainbows imagery is always associated with Mike & Will in the show and a is symbol of lgbtq+ pride, True Colors shining through = who you really are on the inside finally coming out)

IF THIS WORLD MAKES YOU CRAZY ("crazy together", "only love makes you that crazy" and references the "world" motif in the show)

YOUNGER YEARS, ONLY YOU AND ME, YOUNG, WILD AND FREE (references "not wanting things to change" and wanting "to make things go how they were" part in Hopper's letter, and the "But we're not kids anymore" comment during the Byler fight)

ENDLESS OCEAN and SWIM, LIKE DOLPHINS (references water's significance in the show)

FLAMES (Will in front of the burning car in s4 teaser?)

LIES and LYING (Mike lying to El about how he feels)

INSTINCTS RETURNING, FACADES BURNING, WITHOUT MY PRIDE, I REACH OUT FROM THE INSIDE (Mike's feelings for Will are his instincts, the facade is the act he put on in s3 to seem straight, burning could reference Will & fire, and I think the last 2 lines of that 2nd verse reference vulnerability- perhaps in an apology/confession)

I GET SO LOST (confusion about his sexuality, feeling lost without the other) and SO MUCH WASTED TIME (known each other since kindergarten but were unaware the other felt the same way/was dealing with same things, they could have been even closer)

KINGS and QUEENS (the d&d game mike wrote where he has king Tristan give him a medal in s1)

STEALING TIME (references "turning back the clock, to make things go how they were" part in Hopper's letter and the time theme in s4 and time is central to the s4 plot)

AND WE KISS - AND THE SHAME (references the shame they both feel about being gay since it was so stigmatized in the 80's)

Byler @ Prom Possibilities:

If Mike and Will did dance together at the prom, they will probably get bullied because they live in a small conservative town. They will probably either run out, upset, or Eleven will step in to protect them which could lead to the Carrie moment.

Or Mike and Will will not dance together in the actual dance room, but instead sneak off to somewhere else in the school and have a private Byler dance moment where they can't be teased and it's just them together.

OR Mike and Will are still acting weird at this point in the season because neither of them is communicating what needs to be said out of fear, or one of them has confessed or done something to indicate how they feel, but the other hasn’t so everything is weird between them. There would be lots of tension from this and we would get lots of longing looks and adoring moments between the two of them from the sidelines. (I think this one is the most likely)

[lgcmax]

hellooooo my legacy loves !! i hope life’s been treating you all well ! i know right now things are still pretty difficult ( as been all of 2020 tbh ), so i just wanted to flood the dash w a little positivity !!  you know, sometimes i feel bad because it seems that i can’t connect with everyone as much as i’d like, and it sucks !! but between my spotty activity at times and bad response times i didn’t want you to think i loved you all any less. so !!! below you will find a love letter to all of you lovely muns as well as some individual comments about my favorite thing about your muses everybody ! also, if you have lgc friends who aren’t really dash scrollers feel free to share this with them so that they can see !! anyways, go ahead and enjoy 😇💖

dear legacy,

okay - let me start by saying - i care for you sooooo so much !! and that goes for ALL of you reading this !! even if we’ve never talked, or you just joined, or we talk like every other month but never seem to catch each other at the right time ? i care for you !!! and don’t you ever forget it. honestly, legay is one of the healthiest places i’ve been in to develop my muse in a safe space, void of any judgement or just weird vibes. and that has to do with all of you, and i’d like to thank you for that !! our mods, of course, get a special hug for all that you guys do - i know that things can get hard, and we test your patience sometimes ... i get it !!  but to us, you’re kinda like our rp parents ?? we might nag, joke, and annoy but it’s all out of love, we promise ahaha !! anywho, once again everyone i’ve met in legacy, has no lie been so special to me ?? and i want you guys to know that !! literally all of you, even if it was just a quick message, have made an imprint on the great rp experience i’ve had here and i’d like to thank you for that ! and no this isn’t me leaving, i promise i’m gonna stick around for a loong time to come ahaha. but honestly, who would’ve thought ? i was bouncing around from rp to rp, and i didn’t recall, if i’m being hoenst, expect anything to come out of me giving this place a shot for the 2nd time ? but i’m so grateful to have gotten such a wonderful experience that made me not want to leave. there’s always things to do, muses to meet, and it’s crazy how well everyone keeps the dash flowing ! i’m always excited to look at what you and your muses are up too, and honestly i’m lowkey invested in all their little relationships lol ?? but that’s what makes this place so special ! the friendships, the enemies, the romance, and everything in between has made this into such a unique writing atmosphere to be a part of. so for that, i say thank you. and here’s to more legacy for years to come !!

now for the special portion of my letter !!! in alphabetical order, you will find a compliment of mine for your muse below !! phew, here i go :

(  and pls ... if i forgot u ... i apologize 20000x !! PLEASE tell me lol !! obviously this is for muses who are here at the time of writing this 10/2/2020, and i may update ! but if your muse is here at that time and you don’t see them PLEASE tell me i want to write them something but i might have accidentally deleted someone’s in the process of writing so many ! )

phunsawat kannika first of all i have the fattest crush on her fc ojoijjoioij !! anyways, i love the commitment to all her pages, all her character inspos are my favorite, and i’m really interested to see her adjustment to korea ! i think she’s doing a great job already and will show that she can go even further !

yoon aria i haven’t got to say it yet but i LOVE how much of a meme she is oijoiiooij !! esp since she’s a model, it’s fun to have one who’s this cool model on camera but honestly so real and fun ?? like it gives her so much depth and i’m sure she’ll develop a loyal fanbase of like-minded goofs ? i want her and nari to interact tbh haha !!

lee benji my KING ! i love seeing benji develop his sense of purpose and try to see what he wants to become in the long run, and also how he’s stayed true to himself even after mocing to a whole different country ! and of course, his commitment to caring for others !

pongsak tee i ship jinseo and tee oijojoijoij !!!!!! anywho we love the thai representation, i really have enjoyed seeing tee’s progress over the past few months and how he’s adapting to slowly coming into the starlight ? it seems he’s still managed to maintain his kindness and i really enjoy that about him !

im nari is void because she is my muse but i love her very much hee hee !!

kang eunho first off as i’m writing this i see eunho’s first words for his babysitting solo is him flipping out over how cute babies are and i just think that’s adorable lol. but anywho ! eunho’s such a little sunshine and def gives me baby energy ?? light of my life. he’s like legacy’s daily dose of vitamins !

im bomi hana ... my favorite girl who i’m in love with ojjojjoijioji !! i think hana is so weird and goofy in the BEST ways and she’s an example of someone who’s not a famous girl, but a girl who happened to get famous ? i love her for her quirks and all her uniqueness, gamer girls ftw, 10/10 main character material !

hwang minjun i also love shinha and minjun too lmao !!! they are ... v cute !! i love how warm minjun’s heart is from what i’ve seen, and how open and accepting he is to all types of people and welcomes them to his warm fuzzy heart !!! also i would like to personally thank him for taking max in when they were in tokyo max DOES NOT deserve !

kim jinah ah i love her sm !! i know it sounds like max talking, but i love how she’s basically one of the bros lmao ?? but really ! i love her dually embracing of her cuter side and her more casual one, and how she just seems like the type of person you can have a drink and a good talk with ? and her interactions w junghwan stand out and give her an unexpected soft side !

lee yushin i feel like yushin is the younger brother we all wish we had but don’t deserve !! just a real fresh breath of air, definitely a little goofy but just as sweet ?? has the capability to win over even the coldest muses hearts ! and i am rooting for actor yushin 100%. you got this bud !!!!

kim nami somehow nami always pops up first on my dashboard but i’m not mad about it at all lol !! and i think nami is actually very multi-dimensional ! she already seems pretty sure of where she wants herself to go, and i think she’s going to make a really good senior to mentor junior trainees once she’s debuted for a bit ! she def will come correct !!! 

lin yue the way i’m SO invested in guessing what she’s eating but never can .... ahh !! also she loves martial arts which means nari would love her if she knew her uwu. anyways to me she’s quite the baddie, i feel like she’s got her toes dipped in a lot of things and therefore will be very versatile in what she can do ? i really love that ( outside of her outstanding visuals ) she actually has a v good personality and niche interests !

ahn dohwan i have promised myself i wouldn’t put any emphasis on fcs but since vernon is one of my ults i literally have to say: TASTE. anywho lmao !! dohwan gives me cafe boy vibes ?? hear me out. could totally see him making someone a macchiato while listening to their problems and offering advice ? he just seems like a v good listener & adviser ! i think once he debuts for real for real he’s gonna have a lot of bf material made by fans haha !!

leong charlotte first of all i just need to comment i saw a while ago on the dash when charlotte covered i wait and that was ?? iconic ??? we stan ??? streamday6pls ahem anyways ! her being in a band itself makes her an instant baddie, but beyond that she also seems v kind & passionate from what i’ve seen ! she’s got the cute & the fierce, and because of that i think she’ll be fierce competition in the industry once she debuts !

choi max is my muse however as my first bb here i love him deeply heart heart !!

jung ahin i will not lie i did not know seungwoo before i saw ahin, then realized he kinda looked like wonwoo and started to simp ?? IOJOIJOJ anyway this is more of an ooc note but thank u ahin’s mun for bringing me to the light 😇anyways !! i want ahin to do more things to make himself happy bc i think he really is this close to living his best life !! i want something really really good to make him super happy yk ? also i support his english learning journey !

kang jaemin HI ME REALIZING I NEED TO MESSAGE U BACK I’M SORRY SCREECH anyway !! he has a very warm presence, i feel like even when he debuts he’ll be the approachable type ? but also he’s just so smiley and i love it !! such a little fuzzball !! i do feel like more is going on in jaemin’s head than people would think, though ??

lee jaewoo listen jaewoo is my baby ok ... and he’s nari’s too ! also btw did you ever get that birthday text from her own his acc ? anyways i’m going wayy of topic let’s regroup lol !! i honestly admire the level of passion and drive he has so young, and he’s already come so far ? jaewoo has a lot of love in his heart for people and i hope he keeps that even after years of acting ! he truly is the light of lgc agency uwu !

seo yura i feel like yura is v real ! i think she only hides the things she feels are nessescary about herself, but to me she still comess off as really genuine ? it seems she has many types of connections present in her life, which i really like ! i think she’ll do really good at holding her own once it’s time for her official debut and i’m excited to see what’s ahead !

kang jun i think jun doubts himself far more than he realizes just how much he’s capable of !! jun is so adorable and he might hate me for saying that but it is what it is !! i don’t think he’s recognized his true power yet, and though that’s sort of good at humbling him, i think he will be a beast when he becomes fully confident ?? and i believe he will !! i think getting a proper fanbase will show him just how much he can do !

 ji haneul okay haneul made it to type zero, so tbh he already has his life together more than half of us ?? IOJOIJOJ no but for real i think haneul is a true  ✨professional ✨even if he wouldn’t believe me if i told him ? although HE might not be so confident in it, i think haneul’s growing into his more mature self well and it’ll actually help him in the long run as he starts his journey in the idol industry !

kang jina you know what ? i think jina would be a really good leader in her group, if she were to debut as an idol ! i think she has really good communication skills and seems to just vibe with everyone around her ? which is important, as a leader ! but i also feel like she could lighten the mood and kay down the rules depending on which is needed ? that’s just how i feel ! i think she’d do well <3

seo geonwoo first of his theme is so aesthetically pleasing wow ?? anywho ! i do really enjoy geonwoo and honestly need to pay him more attention !  i honestly respect the fact that he knows his own power, and isn’t afraid to be confident in himself ? he just seems v sure of how he wants to live his life which makes him seem v stable, and def in the right direction ! i think he most often knows whats best for himself, and that’s a really valuable skill to have !

ok miyoung first off i DEFININTELY whole-heartedly ship miyoung and hunji, i do !! 😌 but yes miyoung def has romcom protagonist vibes, and i mean that in the best way possible ?? like she’s got quite a lot of things going on for her simultaneously, all while trying to discover things about herself too ?? i empathize with the level of chaos in her life but i think she’s handling it all very well and it’s exciting to read about !

son nabi nabi my ANGEL. i didn’t even know nabi too well prior to us plotting but now i’m so glad that i do !! she has the kindest heart and is willing to go out of her way, even for people she isn’t that close to, just out of the good of her heart ? and i think that’s so powerful ! she’s so baby and i vow to protect her from all the horrors of the entertainment industry because she’s a prime example of light amongst darkness !

ahn jaehwa you knowww jaehwa’s my girl 😚 i just love her adventurous spirit, and how she definitely is filled with more mischief than she may show on first impression ? i think she can use that to her advantage, and it will translate really well as charisma !! her and max’s first interaction showed me just how much of a daredevil she can be and i love it ! psa, we need to plot again !  

lee yohan first of yushina nd yohan’s broken friendship is some .... tea 🍵 i’m intrigued ... really i am !! i kinda wanna give him a massage chair for his birthday because i feel like there really is a lot of internal conflict going on in his head ? def hoping he achieves the dream od getting famous before he’s forced to enlist and drop his dreams, and in return for my support i am expecting free starbucks coffee on him, lol !!

bae nathan i honestly didn’t even realize just how iconic nathan is until we started plotting ? him and max share a lot of similarities, which i love, but beyond that he just is such a real dude who kinda just seems ... ok with being not perfect ? and i enjoy that ! he’s accepting the fact that he makes mistakes and knows that that’s ok. i feel like in the future he’d have a fire podcast ?? like i just feel like it’d be so real and entertaining !

han allie first of all, happy ( belated ? ) birthday to allie !!! second of all, producers in general are always just so interesting to me ? i feel like even though she’s still finding it, allie’s rather focused on creating a sound for herself and making it different ? def has the drive to make her dreams a reality, and i know she’ll do well ! allie, fighting !

kim junghwan i think junghwan has a heart of gold ! he’s good at working with others and def would have nice personality to just sit and talk about life with ! i think he also has a lot of hobbies and interests that are v cute and soft boi, so he’s definitely gonna attract the soft stans !! he’s another person i feel would make great leader material some day. also ship him and jinah all the way 😉

kim alex first off i LOVE luna she is my pride and joy .... i feel v embarrased i think we were supposed to thread and i forgot ! but that beside the point !! i feel like he does have crazy duality ?? at some points it’s like “wow, nice man, pet parent of the year” and other times it’s like “wow this man is wilding did he just say that ??” but ... the way i love both !! it’s so interesting seeing his conflicts and how he deals with other people, but maybe that’s the messy mun in me 🙊

ahn jaesun jaesun !! a king. first off i said it to danbi’s mun before but i am just putting it out there i love him & danbi together i do, i ship it !!! secondly i think, maybe because he’s been around for a quite awhile, but you ( the mun ) seem to have a very good grasp on his character ? i think he’s had really significant but gradual development, sort of coming out of his shell and expanding the things he’s willing to take on ! and i love that for him.

yoon shinha let me repeat that minjun and shinha - i ship it !!! i don’t even know hwo to describe it but i just love the energy shinha exudes !! it’s fun, playful, and full of energy, and i think that’ll transfer really well on stage !! he’s the type of guy who’s just down for whatever and i feel like he could befriend anybody if he really wanted to ! i like that about him and think he’ll have no problem getting along w whoever he works with in the future !

kyo miyeon my queen .... oh how i love her ! 😣❤ i think miyeon’s got a cold exterior with a soft interior ?? like she’s sososo composed and a little cold on the outside, but in reality she’s just over here loving animals and the simple things in life ? i think once she debuts she’s going to have fans have v passionate debates about whether they like her cool or soft side more since they’re both so prominent and so good !!

løvehjerte emil first off emil being from denmark and his name immediately stood out to me when he was accepted, and to me makes him v unique ? also doyoung rights ;) i like how well he seems to adapt to the situations presented to him, even if they’re new and unfamiliar to him ! i think he has his ability to keep his cool, but is still learning a lot from being a trainee and proving he can definitely grow beyond what he’s already accomplished !

jung miso miso is the baddest b no one can change mt mind oijoijoijo !!!!! but no for real i always have admired miso even if i haven’t got to interact w her on my muses too much ? at first i def got vibes of the popular girl everyone wants to be just like ? but i’ve realized she’s a loot more ! she has ( shrek vc ) layers, and i think it’s good to see someone who has a lot of things people would see as ideal, but without being unobtainable !

nam yunho yunho intrigues me so much !! i’m sad max hasn’t gotten to interact with him yet lol !! i feel like in this i keep comparing muses to character types but - just take a journey with me ok soijioiofoijfio !! i so see yunho as one of those guys in the movies about small town who’s family has has a business there for years and he’s the chill guy who shows the main character around town ? AND THAT’S A GOOD THING LMAO ! i feel like he’s just immensly chill and always is just vibing and down for a good time ! <3

jo jiwoo i think jiwoo is so exceptionally cute !! but don’t underestimate her because to me she also does have a very fiery spirit ?? and i love it !! def would have the potential to be a maknae on top and i am here for it !! but since she wants to be an actor i def see her even stealing the hearts of the staff ?? the best example of a puppy in real life i’ve ever seen !

na sera first of all being a twin is automatically cool so there’s that ?? but also !! i like how hard she’s fighting to prove her own, individual self worth ! i’m definitely excited to see how she’ll find her “thing” that really riles her up and makes her feel passionate ? and that maybe she’ll decide the idol thing is for her and go forward with it as a career !

min soyoun i think soyoun’s definitely go the girl next door charm, she defintiely seems like the type who you could be friends with easily, and i think she’ll maintain that even when she’s more famous ! she gives me free spirit vibes, and i think that even if she doesn’t know how, life will somehow work to make sure she always does well ! she’s defintiely proved her individuality and i think she’ll stand out from most around her !

geum danbi ugh danbi ... the way i’m obsessed with her ! i mentioned this already but her and jaesun ? cute we ship it !! i am a stan, i am ! anyways i think that danbi is so powerful, and i don’t mean that jokingly ! she does hold a very commanding presence for me, and i really respect her resilience in continuing to fight for her debut, even after being discouraged numerous times in the past ! i think that’ll make her debut all the more worth it, as she has taken the time to get even better and improve her skills !

jang taesung taesung ... the way i really am fascinated by him ! i don’t even interact w him on my muses but he’s still so entertaining to me !! he’s so casual and i just enjoy seeing his interactions ? he isn’t afraid to be authentically him, and though he doesn’t really show it in his words all the time he’s got a lot of emotions swirling around there ! he do ... he do be messy sometimes i get it ?? he’s a lil problematic ?? but it entertains me so we will take it !

song ahri ok i don’t want to claim this bc i’m not COMPLETELY sure but do i have permission to ship her and geonwoo .... i saw their thread on the dash and they’re so cute what 😚💖 ( revision : they are together i can say this lol !!! ) anywho onto ahri things ! she just seems like the sweetest person EVER she’s v gentle with her words and actions, and definitely seems like a comforter of sorts ? i think that, whoever she gets close to, would def have her to lean on in hard times ! she’s like 

son seolmi first of congrats on seolmi as the new musical actress !! we need more of them >.< but i feel like when seolmi looks back on her training experience she’ll be very proud of herself ! she has made a lot of improvements over her training period, found her passions, and worked to prove herself ! but i think, although she’s working v hard, she’s also doing twice as good at maintaining her friendships and being good to the people around her !

seo minseok minseok a true angel !! i know we haven’t gotten to write together in a while, but seeing his thread w nari we had i saw how kind he was ! he’s loyal to the people he calls friends, open to trying new things, and i think in the future when he gains experience he’ll be a really great mentor to the people who he precedes ! 

oh max ok first off i feel like i cannot not say this everytime i see him on the dash or a thread with him i’m constantly in a state of confusion about which max it is oijoioiiojaojoi ?? but !! i’m despite their names, they’re actually pretty different ! because unlike max choi, oh max is has a very loving and warm personality, and even though he comes from money you couldn’t really tell by his personality ?

park dohyun i def want him and max to interact together, side note !! because they’re both goofs and, of course, we need as many lgc boys connections as we can ! but anywho, i love dohyun, as i feel muses such as him are v necessary ! he definitely provides comic relief, and even though he doesn’t like to reveal his emotions, that just reveals another component to his emotional depth ! even if he isn’t someone who is vulnerable, i think it is great he does his best to make others happy !!

lee jiho i mean can i pls just adopt jiho as my child ?? he’s so cute oijjoijoij !! i think all though he’s ambitious and knows what he wants in life, he’s also realistic with himself and knows what he can expect and how to work toward a clothes ! it’s a trait not everyone has so i like that he does ! i think he’s also enough of a positive thinker that throughout any troubles he may have, he’ll get through it with a nice mindset !

lee hanbyul i think that once debuted officially officially, hanbyul will definitely grow in popularity almost immediately ! she’s already done well at gaining the hearts of fans even when she was a trainee, and with so many friends and opportunities under her belt she’ll get big in no time ! i think she’ll definitely be well known and that she’ll bring multiple fandoms together because it’s just hard not to like her !

jung jihye i love jihye !! she’s so raw and rolling with all the punches life has given her ? even after a rocky start to her career, she’s ready to give it a second chance, and although she went through a lot of bullying discovered a newfound love for acting ! i think that her dedication to being happy will show in her passion for whatever she acts in in the future, and i’m excited to see how the public perceives her !

tsai sunisa isa is the ultimate chill dude haha !! i think that he’s very calm and level-headed, while not coming off as careless ? although he’s very casual, he clearly does care about the other’s around him, and i think for him that shows in the little details rather than the big things ? i think he’s the type of person who does well at picking up on the energies of others, and noticing small details about them !  v v cool 💖😌

shin yeseo u KNOW me and max are collectively whipped for her oijoijoi !!! no but honestly, from what i’ve viewed of yeseo from an outside perspective, she’s goes beyond the socially required level of thoughtful ? she really does listen to everyone’s perspective and do what she thinks is best for everyone involved and i really like that ! i also like that the simple things are enough to make her very happy, and that she puts her all into the ones she cares for ! 

kang yonghwa i love how in love yonghwa is in with life, and how bright his spirit is !! he has such a ... sunshine spirit ? that’s the best way i can put it ! he’s just so positive the majority of the time, and i feel he has the ability to see the best traits of others and bring that out of them ! i also love his sense of adventure, and i think he’ll be a favorite for fans in no time ! kang yonghwa, 10 / 10, our best boy !!

kim hyunbin hyunbin reminds me of a cartoon character, in the best way ! he’s definitely very theatrical, and also has a more playful, teasing side to him ? i think that everyone needs a hyunbin in their life because he’s very considerate of the emotions of the people around him, and on top of that has a lot of interests and boosts any social scenario !

choi jinyoung jinyoung ... an angel ! it’s so my fault we don’t but we should plot more ! uwu anywho ! first off, happy belated birthday to him ! i noticed that during our to the max thread, despite being a little overwhelmed by human tsunami max choi, he stayed very polite and was open to trying a new experience out, and for that i really gained respect for him ! i think he’s a v soft boy but i don’t think he’s weak at all, in fact maintaining his kindness for others has shown my just how strong he is !!  😇😇

oh eunhye just like her article says, eunhye has a real knack for entertaining and i think it’s already begun to show ! i think her authenticity easily transfers to the camera, and that it makes people love her all the more ? she has the type of hypnotizing personality that makes people want to get to know her, and i don’t think it’s coincidence that she’s had the opportunities that she’s had already come to her !

oh gitaek congrats on becoming a producer gitaek !! clap clap !! hehee but i think gitaek is very adaptable ! even in environments when he doesn’t want to do anything, he’s going to push through - like dancing, for instance ! also him and hyunbin’s dynamic ?? v interesting. i’m invested on seeing where it goes ! i think gitaek has a lot of potential, much of which he’s already showing, and i think he’ll have no problem discovering himself fully and becoming big !

son alec just gotta say i always mix him and alex up on accident i wanna scream oijooi !! but also while scrolling his page and saw this: “ old people are amazing, is the conclusion he’s come to yet again  ” and i just wanna say i love him for that ojojoioij !! but anyways, alec gives me the vibe of a young adult still sort of finding their way, and i really love that ! he enjoys what he does but still has doubts, and i think that little back and forths very important ! i hope he becomes a super famous actor and achieves all his dreams !

son jieun i love how much jieun cares for her friends !! she was bold enough to straight up call taesung out for mistreating allie and tbh ... kinda in love with that energy ?? i think her bravery goes beyond even just this though, as she’s already tried many new things that others may have strayed away from in fear ! her sense of justice and determination is something i admire and honestly i feel like if it wasn’t for her obvious career path she’d be a great lawyer haha !!

nam jueun it’s the way i want to claim that i indeed am one of seojin & jueun’s biggest fans ... i am 😌✌ but listen !! i have to respect jueun for the way that she’s managed to repair a damaged relationship AND work on herself and her career at the same time ? and both are going good ! she’s also got a real edge to her, and i feel like she doesn’t realize just how cool she is ?? we stan !

park seojin now we alr know ... seojin is one of the muses i am most whipped for in legacy i cannot lie i’m sorry !!! listen ,,, i love my tsundere !! he’s had exceptional development, but in really small yet significant ways, and he’s grown so much in the time he’s been here ! in terms of max, he’s definitely starting to take on a more nurturing role, and in term of himself, getting a better idea of who he is as an artist and a person and i think that’s gonna really show when his band debuts ! also think he’ll be a strict yet incredibly respected mentor when the day comes ? anyways i’ll just say i l*ve park seojin and go 😭💔

lee jiae lee jiae, the apple of my eye !! i was astounded how much kindness could be fit into one small body ?? even in situaitons she doesn’t like, she maintains her bright spirit that brings people to her in the first place, and i think that comforts the people around her if they’re having a hard time as well ! but i think she also does have a bit of a chaotic side when panicked and i do love it i do !! do not underestimate lee jiae everyone i am betting all my money on the fact that she can beat some ass !!

hwang sori first of all her theme made me gasp it’s literally so incredibly gorgeous omg ?? but !! the first thing i read was hwang sori is an ugly crier and that made ME ugly cry with laughter LMAOWAOOA !!  even though she’s relatively new i’ve already come to love how out of the box and unapologetically her she is ! she has so much to offer, both on and off stage, and i know she’s destined to be a star ! i’m already so invested and excited to see what she does in the future !

lee aaron aaron !! our dad of the year sobs. of course, my favorite thing about aaron is how nurturing he is ! he has no problem taking care of others, and i think that although it’s easy for younger / less experienced trainees to be intimidated by those above them, aaron removes that stigma completely ! truly a gentle soul. my only complaint about aaron is that he’s so selfless that i feel he sometimes forget about himself, so aaron please eat more and take care of your health oijoijoioij !! 

lee youngmin the way i love youngmin !! i was so touched by his patience when he helped my baby nari get herself together when it came to learning lines for cram school ! it proved to me that he’s a v caring person, and even if acting was sort of a sore subject for him, he still went through with helping her ! and that brings me to my next point - congrats for joining the actors youngmin !! i admire him for giving something he’s apprehensive about another shot, and i’m so incredibly excited to see how it goes for him !

song yifei ok even though i don’t know yifei too well yet seeing her intro did help me see why i’m going to love her so much !! i appreciate her adaptation to such an unusual environment like korea, and although i’m sure she’s homesick and a little lost she’s already doing her part to adjust to life in korea ! starting so young, i have to admire her work ethic and her strength by not giving up ! i’m excited to see what she can offer us all ! 

hwang minsik ok so !! even though minsik is quite the introvert, i think it’s v cool that he has worked past that, and although it may have been uncomfortable, got more comfortable performing in front of others ! i think that being in his head for the majority of the time will actually prove to work in his favor, as it’ll be easier to transfer all the emotions he’s feeling into his music when he locks down and pursues his dream of being a producer !

tsuchiya mitsuki from what i’ve seen, mitsuki seems to be very considerate of others, and i like that she celebrates other’s accomplishments outside of just her own ! the entertainment career can be a very risky and sometimes scary one, but i think that she’s doing a great job at rolling with it and putting her all into forming it into a serious career path for herself !

yamashita ichika i think she put it best - she’s new to korea, but not this world !! i love love LOVE how sure of herself ichika is, and though it may come off as blunt, maybe y’all aren’t just ready to accept the truth she’s spilling ... 👀 lMAO no but for real !! she’s a woman who knows what she wants and i never will be mad at that ! you can never say that ichika doesn’t keep it real and i think that’s something we need to learn from her !

hwang subin i think subin is incredibly self-aware, which really is such a super important trait to have ?? he’s had a lot of conflicts over his training period, but he’s overcame them, and to me he holds a lot of grace even in those scenarios he has this sort of ... calmness to him ? idk maybe that’s subjective but that’s how i feel ! i think in the end he’s going to turn the pain into power, and he’ll be one of the people really idolized for their resilience !

kim minjee i feel like along her path to fame, she’s learning all sorts of new things about herself in the industry, and that feeling of self-discovery is awesome ! i think she’s a really good example of the changes people go through throughout their path toward stardom ! i think she does her best to embrace both the highs and lows life brings her, which i think is preparing her to be a really steady person when it comes to being famous !

im hyunjin my baby !! the way i love him beyond measure !! he gets along with max so well and i love how well they balance off each other’s energy ! he’s got a boyish charm that helps me remember that yes, a lot of the trainees are still kids at heart, and that reminder is v refreshing ! though a lot has been thrown on him with this trimester, he’s been a good sport, and i think he’s such an accurate representation of someone who’s growing up in the spotlight ! i think it’s enough for me to excuse him mixing up the maxs. 😚😌

okamoto akira what a wonderful soul ugh !! he really did impact nari’s heart with his unconditional kindness. i think he’s grown even in his time in the rp alone ? he’s so kind to others, and i love how he holds interest in other people and their stories ! even though he’s still getting adjusted to life in korea, i think he’s doing a great job at getting his name out there while making a good impression of himself. but like i said about aaron pls, akira, take care of yourself more !! you deserve the best, heart heart !!

jeon haeun haeun has such an intense drive when it comes to her love for dance and performing, and i hope she never loses that ! it’s the most important thing, after all ! she’s got such a spunky personality, which will work in her favor as it will keep eyes on her even after she’s off the stage ! she’s a baby, being so young, but already has proved herself to have a worthy place in legacy, and i think she’s even got the capability to teach the older trainees a thing or two, haah !

park viggo i definitely respect viggo, because of the insecurities that have developed from his biological parents putting him up for adoption, he’s shone so brightly already at such a young age ! and i just read his solo w / his encounter with his biological father and - literal chills ?? but .... phew ! i’m so impressed by how he’s had so many horrible experience influence his life, but not let it overtake him ? he’s so strong and if he can handle what life has already thrown at him, i know he’ll have nothing but good to look forward to from now on !

techaapaikhun kit i don’t think i’ve had the chance to tell you yet .... but god i LOVE kit oijoioi !! he’s such a loveable ball of fluff ! he has a very big heart, and i feel like even when he doesn’t know exactly what to do or what’s going on he’s still very much 😊💖✨ ?? you would never think he’s a foreigner because he just seems in high spirits ! also him and daehyung’s interactions ? 10 / 10 in terms of entertainment, definitely deserves a read !

ahn yein i love the short queen energy this woman exudes !! her duality is already quickly becoming my favorite thing about her ?? she’s so this and this ! i truly cannot wait to see how she’ll let her musical style influence the type of music she produces, and i think she’s a producer full of energy who has the potential for being famous for her music and her own personality !

seo yumi though yumi did go through a lot of hardship with her first debut, i really respect her for fighting to prove she deserves a spot in a group for a second time, even if the first time wasn’t even her fault ! i think because of it, even if her light’s dimmed a little, her enhanced discipline will work in her favor, as well as her prior experience, and potentially give her a step up among others ! which, hopefully, will make the hardships she went through not to be in vein !

han insoo insoo’s gone through quite a bit, and though i’d imagine that to be incredibly tough on him, he hasn’t lost his shine ! he still has a brightness to him when interacting around the people he loves, and i think that’s what it takes to be in a band ! i wish nothing but the best for him, because honestly, i think he’s just trying to get by and have a good time, and i really have to respect it !

choi jongsuk okay so from what i see jongsuk is a tad manipulative in the way he interacts with people ... and yet ... i stan ? obviously this isn’t a very good trait, but it is entertaining, especially for a messy mun like me haha !! i think, if he wants to, he can actually use his particularly good social skills to his advantage, and become a charmer among his fans !

choi daehyun omg prince daehyun rise !!! i always love the spoiled rich boy types, because to me, they have the most room for growth ! if i’m being honest with you as ... awful as he  might be i think he’s one of those trainees who would 100% give everyone a run for their money ? because if he doesn’t have anything ( beside money ofc ) he has confidence, and well .... confidence is a dangerous thing !! i’m really really anticipating seeing how he’ll get along with the other trainees, and his journey in legacy !!

chwe hunji phew .... my adoptive son !! i admit i am slightly biased to hunji i am i am what about it !!! 😌💖 i gush about him all the time so i’ll keep it ( relatively ) short - i don’t think hunji realizes, but given the whirlwind of events that’s happened in less than a year, he’s doing a fantastic job of both grieving and growing !! he’s been able to look out for those who need him most even in his darkest times, put up with max’s shenanigans even amongst trying to decipher his feelings for him, and adapted to a ever-changing climate that comes with being a trainee in his hardest year ! not to mention how much he’s grown since his arrival !! his development ?? chef’s kiss !

kang dongwon first of all already massive respect to dongwon for doing school and training at the same time ?? that’s already difficult in itself ! but i think he’s taken a lot of risks despite not necessarily wanting to, like expanding outside of activities he’d expected that he would do ! it’s good for him to dip his toe into numerous places, and he’ll be less thrown off if he’s asked to do something unexpected in the future. also him & his relationship w his siblings is the best haha !!

park sarang first off seojin and sarang together are such a cool duo !! the concept of siblings in the industry is honestly so cool ?? but anywho ! but i soso admire sarang !! even though she was initially was following her brother’s dream, it’s gradually morphed into her own, and she really has developed an individual name for herself, which shows her passion and determinism ! i also love how they have a healthy relationship, even with normal sibling fights, without getting into super super competitive territory ?? that just shows her capability to love & that’s great !

kim jinseo first off !! his familial relationship w shinha ? we love to see it ! cutest cousins on the block ! but what i admire about jinseo is how stable he is ! i think he can help people and handle his own problems without getting too stressed, he’s a good problem solver and i think he can calm down and figure out the best way to approach a situation ? also once again him & tee ? cute, we ship it 😊

kim ara first off, friend of the year award goes to ara for helping hanbyul through her breakup and working around processing her emotions ! and also that she’s pretty mature in handling her own breakup w / nathan ! that brings me to the point that i feel ara is a thoughtful person, who definitely sees the good even in bad scenarios and tries to think of the positives that come out of her life, even if it can be difficult to do so !

jin eunji now we know that’s my queen !!!!! i honestly love seeing eunji’s development, and she’s much more of a deep character than she shows on the outside ?? and there’s even more left for others to discover about her ! she’s trying to work through her shit but I like her because she’s the realest depiction of someone who’s growing - because it’s not particularly nice or cute ?? it’s rough but it’s real, she’s struggling to grow and move through her emotions but she’s growing nonetheless and i love that for her !!!

park seon seon is def the type of girl who is just sort of taking it day by day, and i respect it so much !! she has a lot to discover of herself and what she wants to do, but quite honestly i like that about her !! i think that she’s still young and def doesn’t need to stress about it, and i like that she’s just sort of flowing in whichever direction that life wants to take her ! i can only imagine how far she’ll go when she discovers her true potential !

lim sanghyun i feel like sanghyun really is prepared for any situation that’s thrown at him, even if he feels like he can’t do it !! i mean, since birth he’s had tons of bad cards thrown at him, and yet he always manages to turn them into something good ? although it may seem like he doesn’t have good fortune, to me, it seems he has the opposite, because he always finds a way out the trenches !! i think sanghyun’s legacy’s phoenix !

choi daehyung omg daehyung has been a favorite of mine since he came !! i love peeking at the many relationships he has bc they’re tbh so interesting !! he's honestly fit to be a main character in a show ? and i think, despite what daehyung thinks, he’s grown a lot in the time he’s been here ! to me, he’s more aware of his emotions, and more reflective of the choices he makes ! sure he’s got some things to work on but let’s be real .... don’t we all ?

lau mike mike is such a breath of fresh air !! def a roll with the punches kind of guy - reminds me of those popular kids where it’s just like ... dang, things always seem to be go well for them ?? i’m jealous ?? but i think more of that has to do with mike rather than him just having good luck ! he does good at adapting & working hard, from moving to korea, to changing careers, to now training ! he seems to excel and everything he does and i have no doubt that will help him out in the long run !

li zimeng meng is so pretty !! but she’s also SO much more !! this whole thing of her feeling average, and like she didn’t really stand out in comparison to the other trainees .... it’s so real !! and honestly, so good for her ! even though she doesn’t feel special always, i KNOW she is, but i think it’s also great she has this good foundation ? because rather than being good at only 1 thing and realizing in the long run she hates it, zimeng has the potential to be super well-versed and i think she’ll be more aware of what she needs to work on to improve !

tsai king truly our king ... and i don’t mean that ironically !! i looove king’s development, i truly love to see it !! though he’s still got his pride, i think he’s transformed his confidence from blind cockiness to a reason for him to want to work hard and succeed ?? king definitely had things to work on, but he has worked on them, and i think he’s truly proved his place in legacy in the long time he’s been here !! also thoroughly impressed w how much he’s done !

bae doha i think that if I had to describe doha, it would be “ proceed with caution ” !! he’s a cautious person, i feel, who wants the balance between having a good life and keeping himself grounded ? which is a really good type of personality, and I think it would make him a leader for those around him ! he’s also very observant, and i think that will make him much more meticulous of a person as an actor !

song shaun first of all i gotta still thank shaun for doing tiktok dances with max back in the day !!!! that was iconic and i will never forget it lol !! and i'm so glad he’s back. anyways, i think shaun is definitely the type of person that’ll stay true to himself even after becoming famous, he seems v carefree, but also w/o not losing that ambition to work hard ?? 

pongsak arinya arin is so freaking adorable !!! i think she’s like a puppy and I love it !! she’s so curious about the way around her, i think she just loves what life has to offer her and in turn life loves her ?? she has such a playful and optimistic light about her and to me, it’s impossible not to want to be her friend !! her fans will easily love her <33

jeon haru to me, haru seems like a team player !! he listens to the input of other’s, and i think before rushing to do what he wants to do, it’s in his spirit to think of how his actions affect other people ! and i think that’s shown in how he’s babysitting on the show, even though he’s a little panicked ! i also think he’s a good self-soother, he’s good at helping calm himself down and make himself feel better, and to me that’s so great !!

liu jiao I think she’s doing a great job at making her reality one she enjoys ! she’s struggling to find the differences between her dreams and her moms, what she wants and what she doesn’t ! and still, i believe that she’s doing well and spreading love to those around her despite ! i hope she finds full inner peace and that she can live a life of happiness ( and a little wrecklessness tbh ) without any worries !!

[icharchivist]

first: WAHHHHHHHHH 😭😭😭 I got so emotional!!! so emotional!!!! so much that I can’t even do this first second pattern bc I have SO MANY thoughts!!!!!!! I’m writing this in my notes instead of straight into the askbox so u know it’s serious business™

ok so debut night!!! I was like ahah yeah it’s a tragedy whatever it’ll be fun to start out with and then the voice acting was SO good that it knocked me out of the park and I almost cried haha. it’s crazy how good the voice acting in a3 is like I love how the dialogue and voice acting works well together bc like it’s limited but so effective!! u can so very clearly see and understand the style they’re going for. especially like tsumugi’s death scene... the Talent jumped out it really did... uh and ok so. I think I may be a littleeee confused abt the play bc I had always interpreted tasukus last lines as raphael to be like abt his being secretly in love with michael. but now that I’m actually reading the line that’s like oh don’t fall for a human it only ends in misery I know that all too well or whatever... ig the implication is that raphael was in love with another human / the same lady michael was in love with in the play. side note I had to go back and edit the proper names in instead of tasuku and tsumugi lol... but speaking of!! speaking of the voice acting and the play itself I 1) love how blatantly obvious it is when tsumugi goes for that grander, tasuku like style of delivery!! like u could just so easily feel the difference it was wild... and 2) tsuzuru is once again spot on with his writing, lol... I felt that like raphaels inability to save or help michael really parallels how tasuku feels abt tsumugi so well, and it’s wonderful that they r able to resolve things and tasuku can properly compliment him on his acting where the angels fail to do so. it’s very good. and I think the play rly highlights (for me at least) that like. to tasuku, it was tsumugi who was sort of an unreachable existence. like were he to idolize and respect someone’s acting, it would be tsumugi. and I think that like caring carries over into their roles really well, because I think in michael’s love for a human tasuku sees like... tsumugi’s style of acting. the heart that he’d lost while within the god troupe. mb I’m losing my mind a little but ah. the play rly works with their relationship so well!! im very excited to see the other winter ppl get main roles tho—same for all the troupes!!! now this ask is too long so I’ll have to do another part lol

going to start off this second part of the ask abt hisoka bc oh my GOD. hisoka. like I was just thinking “hm where r the winter troupe cgs anyways” and then BAM. hisoka CRYING???? especially since he doesn’t seem that emotional it was a really hard hit!!! and who tf is august.... ok well actually theory time!! skipping ahead to the end theres that note that like mentions December and April and. not to expose my friend but very many years ago (a couple years before a3 was launched, at the very least) she wrote this story where there were like 12 orphan assassins and they were all named after months. I remember the main dude was named dec lol. coupled with my “hisoka is capable of murder” bit? listen.... I’m not saying anything but I’m also not not saying anything if u feel me. also I feel like assassin / thief with mysterious background is a common trope!! that was silver from the pokémon adventures manga too... why is this my reference point lmao. anyways I’m unclear if assassins would make it into a3 but like.... if the yakuza and supernatural stuff makes it in...

okay moving away from conspiracy theories and into emotions!!! the quotes from like EVERY mankai actor before the final production made me SO emo... and yay!!! they won!!!! (though admittedly I almost had a heart attack when no one clapped) but they won!!!! that ending cg!!!! and I adore how sakyo immediately goes after god troupe man (I know his name is reni I just don’t feel like calling him that) for the money lol it’s just so sakyo-like. also I love the lil mixed troupe interactions!! I found the game night ch so fun.... ahh, now I wanna reread that ch since it was so good lol

all in all I was super satisfied ahh!! I am SO excited to start up spring troupe again (HELLO character development!!! and chikage) and I’m even MORE excited to get thru all the act 1 events!!!! as a final note, is there any way to reread or replay the flair conversations? I didn’t want any spoilers for the plays while I was doing the practices for them so I kinda sped thru the first time ahah...

HELLO FRIEND IM SO HAPPY TO GET SUCH A LENGHTY ASK ABOUT WINTER IM LKDJFLKDJFLKFD  Winter makes me feel shrimps emotions (i know the whole “shrimps can see more colors than humans can’t comprehend” thing has been disproved but i’m not letting go of that expression, i REALLY feel emotions humans can’t comprehend anymore and i’m going to make it everyone else’s problem)

1) First about the voice acting, rIGHT this is just so fascinating to me!!! I remember after act 2 i came back to reread the main act 1 chapter and i was so thrown out by how GOOD the voice acting was, especially for the first few troupes having to convince you they’re not comfortable or good at acting yet. Winter whole thing is that they’re more subtle and mature and you really feel that with their voice acting, Tsumugi’s voice especially knock it off the park anytime he’s on screen. 

2) Second: what does it say about me that i’ve never, ever considered your reading a possibility because i was so set on “oh Raphael you’re in love with Michael sooooo bad you see it as a tragedy already because you can see him throw his life away” i didn’t even consider “maybe Raphael went through that too”. Though i guess if we’re going with that reading i can totally see “The Woman” they let themselves consumed by easily be a representation of acting or even more the God Troupe, with Raphael/Tasuku knowing to step away before it consumes him completely while Michael/Tsumugi, by his love and passion, pushed himself until he broke, which fits and it hurtsssss god Winter plays hits so hard.

3) Third: oh god yeah when Tsumugi goes for Tasuku’s acting it’s just. It makes me SO uncomfortable, i’ve experienced this scene like three times by now and the third time i was just “can i skip it i can’t go through this again i can’t Tsumugi i love you i can’t do this”. It doesn’t match the play at all and it just throws everyone off balance, and Tsumu you could have told theM YOU WANTED TO DO THAT.... god

4) Fourth: I LOVE YOUR READING SO MUCH I LOVE IT I LOVE IT YES YOU’RE RIGHT!!! Just as we follow Tsumugi let his passion consumes him until he breaks, Tasuku’s character arc really jumps out in Raphael, like, everything you say!!!  The way Tasuku/Raphael knew how the feelings Tsumugi/Michael felt would hurt him on the long run but he didn’t know what to do about it until it was too late, the regrets and the way Raphael voices his frustrations.... Tasuku struggles to be honest without acting (Tasuku pls i love you) but having such a role really help him expressing all he feels about Tsumugi and i’m HHHH this is so good so so good!!! but yeah i also love that Tasuku finally manages to actually compliment Tsumugi naturally, that he understands he can’t let him destroys himself again and it’s just gnhhhhh Tasuku is so kind and considerate and i care about him so much....!!!

5) Fifth: “i’m losing my mind a little” winter mood, winter mood winter mood- (though every troupe’s mood tbh but Winter is gnhhhhh kdhd hdhjf??? you feel me) (i am BIASED i can’t help it TwT) but yeaH i’m looking forward to see how you react to the others plays because the roller coaster juST BEGUN!!!

Onto part 2... Winter Troupe Chapter Feels... 2!

6) Sixth: DLFJDFKLDF HISOKAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE HIM SO MUCHHHHH. Hisoka crying fucked me up so bad!! so so bad!! Like on my first read i didn’t know what to think of him as he starts out very apathic to his troupe and then the more it goes on the more you can feel he starts to open up and i’m soft for this sort of slow burn, but then this whole scene happened and it HIT ME IN THE FACE, he was crying, i was crying, we were all crying, the Unopening Door opened a flood of emotions i can’t cope with. He sounds SO VULNERABLE during that scene and i know all of the Winter Troupe united on “taking care of him” but that’s really the moment i went “i care you and i will keep taking care of you” and look at me now. Thanks funky little scene for ruining my life. I’m glad you liked it i’m aldhjflkjdfkd Hisokaaaaa.....

7) Seventh: I am not commenting on the theory but 👀 that’s so highly specific your friend has a galaxy brain i love it. and i love the idea of “well we have yakuza and supernatural entity what’s an assassin adding himself to it” dLKFJDLKF i know everyone in Mankai calls Izumi out everytime someone joins but that’d be peak. I’m not going further about what December and August and April are all about but i love this plotline sO much, the few mentions of August when Hisoka regained his memories for a minute still haunts me, the guilt he seems to feel and this pain i’m just... godddd such a good set up. I love this plotline.

8) Eigth: EMOTIONS!!  Oh GOD YEAH THE ENDING WITH ALL THE OTHER ACTORS... I cried so hard it’s just. It really shows you it’s not just the culmination of the Winter chapter but of all the act 1 main plot and it really makes you feel how much of a journey you’ve been onto!! A3 is so good at showing you the growth of its characters that especially by the end of Winter you really saw how all of them grew in their respective chapters and how cozy they felt in their new home in the remaining chapters, and the fact this chap has those defining character arc’s lines really drive home “oh my god that was a journey” i love them sO MUCH.... 

9) Ninth: wE WOOOON!!! They’re all so good i just. i’m gonna cry just thinking about it dlfdjlfk i know like, the game has so many content so you know it can’t end at the end of Winter but the suspense really was there. BUT YEAH LMAO I LOVE SAKYO DOING THAT IMMEDIATLY, man sure has the eyes on the prize and we love him for that.  AND THE GAME NIGHT SCENE they are all sO CUTE and sWEET and they’re a family now and i’m hHHHHH i love a3 a normal healthy amount that isn’t just making me cry thinking about how all of them grew so close even through mixed troupes.

10) Tenth: I am SO happy you were satisfied with the plot so far!! I’m genuinely so happy that you decided to take that journey with us and that you shared all of this with me, and i’m so so happy you liked it!! There is still so much content and all of it is so worth it! 

11) Eleventh: Yes!! The flair conversations are all readable on the Mini-Chat tab! So they’re easily accessible and they’re sorted in a way that’s easy to read so you can feel comfortable skipping the flairs if you want until you have seen the stories the flairs are all about. They’re all kinda set during the rehearsals (except for some crosstroupe conversation that wouldn’t make sense if they were like how the Summer Troupe talks with the Spring Troupe in their Flairs DKLFJDF but it’s okay what is a timeline anyway) so some of them are set pre-development and it’s wild to get back to them. I love rereading Flairs i get emotional everytime.

ANND That’s it for this ask! i had a blast reading through your thoughts and i’m so happy and excited!! i’ll send you the drive now so you can start digging through it whenever you feel like it :3c good luck grinding for act 2, meanwhile i hope you’ll have fun with all the act 1 events i compiled for you!!

(side note i need to update the drive too but it’s mostly act 2 content anyway, the only two act 1 things i need to update on it is Sakuya’s birthday card i think?? i think Itaru’s is already in act 2 so i’ll try to get around to it eventually but it’s so far away anyway) (edit: i forgot that the three cards i got for the latest revival are from act 1 DLKJFD okay so i’m missing three cards -)

The drive has backstages and event stories and it may be a lot and overwhelming ahah. Focus on the event stories for the plot and go back to the backstages whenever you feel like it, no need to read them at the same time, unless you want to in which case everything is set up for you :3c and there’s a file with cards that aren’t associated to events too so... lots of goodies hanging around. I’ll send it to you in DM ;O 

Take care and thank you so much for all your thoughts! my inbox remains wide opened for any others thoughts you may have as you go further into it :3c

[theexecutionerssong]

Hey Gaëlle ! Est-ce-que tu aurais des recommendations de fic Destiel ? Sans trop de smut, surtout pas beta/Omega (c'est même plus du smut à ce niveau-là...) et beaucoup de pining ? ( Je devrai être en train de réviser mes partiels d'ailleurs... 😅). Merci beaucoup ! 😌

Hellooo ! Alors tu as frappé à la bonne porte parce que je lis jamais de smut, ou alors quand c’est dans des longues fics, je passe juste ces passages là. (mais j’aime beaucoup les fic a/b/o qui ont pas de smut, parce que les sentiments sont quintuplés donc pining + angst on a whole other level). Y’a peu de fluff dans mes fics préférées, love me some angsty life and death moments, mais ça finit toujours bien. Enfin. Vérifie les tags quand même :)))) J’ai mis les liens, si y’a pas c’est qu’elles ont été supprimées mais j’ai les pdf donc hit me up.Et révise tes partiels !!!!

CANON

A turn of the earth -https://archiveofourown.org/works/5138552/chapters/11825306

Dean’s your typical half-orphaned, monster-killing 22-year-old until a trenchcoated stranger crashes into his back windshield one September night, claiming he’s an angel that knows him from the future and that he’s on the run.

Frigging fantastic.

(Or, in which Castiel gets stuck in Dean’s timeline preseries and Dean kind of hates it—until he doesn’t.)

Probably my favorite fic set in Canon. It’s set around season 11, and I love how we dive into Dean’s past pre-series and then as time goes by, we catch up with the show timeline’s. It’s incredibly well written.

525,600 Minutes - https://archiveofourown.org/works/507228/chapters/892693

A man wakes up alone on the streets of Detroit. Lost and somehow forgotten, he's dressed in blood-soaked clothing without memories and without a name.

This is his journey to find it.

It was first published in 2012 set after s5, but it was rewritten last year. I still have the old version for nostalgia’s sake but the new version is even better. It’s got some amnesia so great for pining :))))

The inexhaustible silence of houses -https://archiveofourown.org/works/560268/chapters/1000755

Almost two years after the world doesn't end, Castiel falls from grace—and loses his voice in the process. It is the impetus for confession and change; before long, he is settling into a loving relationship with Dean, the Winchesters are tired, and hunting for a place to land has taken precedence to hunting anything else. Dean and Castiel fall in love with the strange little house on the end of Swallowtail Drive, and for a little while life is as it should be—sweet, affectionate, and beginning afresh.

But more and more Castiel sees and hears things in the house that beg the question of whether or not a place itself can be alive. The walls and rooms seem to shift and grow and breathe, and one night, Dean comes home from a hunt changed in a way that Castiel cannot explain. In the months that follow, their domestic bliss takes turns for the dark and sour, and the confusion of their circumstances will ultimately test everything Castiel knows about the man he loves, and everything he believes to be true.

Listen, I cried. I cried SO MUCH. There was a lil fandom war going on for a time between which was the hardest, this one or Twist and Shout, and both destroy me completely. But this one is set in canon and closer to the characters, to me, so I’ll always recommend this one first (unless you want a happy ending, in which case, don’t read it)

Only if for a night - https://archiveofourown.org/works/826303

Castiel is captured by a djinn. Dean goes slightly crazy, and Cas discovers a thing or two about himself.

I’m a sucker for Dean/Cas in Djinn verse and this one is by far my favorite.

The Bird That Feels The Light (not slash) https://archiveofourown.org/works/210860

AU from 5.18 (or thereabouts). Castiel awakens in the middle of a smoking crater, stranded and very much human. According to the people who have discovered him, it’s six months to the day after Michael and Lucifer faced off on the field of battle outside of Detroit, and Castiel isn’t the only one to have returned. When, at his insistence, they take him to this other person, he finds a child –a little boy– and realizes that, contrary to all his expectations, he has been reunited with Dean Winchester. The world has changed in their absence, and not for the better. Sam is gone, whether dead or simply missing is uncertain. Castiel is given the name of a man in Idaho who may have answers for him. He is faced with the task of travelling cross-country with Dean, who is dependent on him now in ways he never was before, in order to discover the truth. But along the way, as he and Dean learn to know and trust each other once more, Castiel begins to realize that the answers he thought he wanted might not be the ones he needs.

It’s not slash at all since Dean is a kid but I’ve read it probably about 20 times and I still love it as the first time. There’s just something about human Castiel carrying a 4 year old Dean across the world and fighting monsters and demons and humans to survive that gets to me.

Hands, From Which All Things Are Built - https://archiveofourown.org/works/747324

Castiel travels with the angel tablet and without the Winchesters. One day, Dean gets a text from some anonymous number. (They speak in the language of need.) A post-08.17 Goodbye, Stranger story.

If you want pining, this one is definitely for you.

Last Man Standing - https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8363328/1/Last-Man-Standing

This one is set just after the season 7 finale, it’s a Purgatory fic with so.much.pining I always need to hold a pillow to my chest when I read it or I go insane sdfghjkl I haven’t read it in probably 4 years but I remember absolutely loving it.

Outrun my gun - https://archiveofourown.org/works/281887/chapters/448388

"The two of you are so stubborn you've made Heaven blink." Finally convinced that Sam and Dean will never say yes and accept their destinies, Heaven and Hell come up with a new plan, one that will redraw the Apocalypse and make everything run much more smoothly. All they need is Dean Winchester's soul.

Don’t mind the MCD tag, it’s got a happy ending. Also a classic set in canon, it’s from 2011 so quite oldish but it’s incredible how the characterization is on point. Love love love it.

AU

Tramps Like Us

Dean Winchester's life is falling apart. He's lost his job, his apartment, and his brother, all in one day. He seems to break everything he touches. Frustrated and alone, he drives off into the night with no idea where he's headed. But then he meets Castiel Novak, a quiet and reclusive man with a haunted past, and suddenly he finds himself with a very specific destination in mind.

I feel like everyone has read Tramps Like Us but just in case, I’ll put it on the list. Not sure what I can say that hasn’t been said by half this website already but well… it deserves the hype.

Til The Last - https://archiveofourown.org/works/1001935/chapters/1984189

When the war came, Dean Winchester was determined that he was not going to get involved. He had more important things to worry about than some rich man’s fight. He had work on the farm and he had taking care of his family. Nothing else was worth his worry. But in August in the Year of Our Lord 1863, when the soldiers came knocking, they weren’t asking. They dragged Dean away. 

Dean and Cas have been best friends since they were kids. When Dean is drafted into the Confederate army, to what lengths will Castiel go to ensure that Dean makes it back home alive?

OH BOY. OHHHHH I could talk about that one until the day I die. It’s a complete AU but it has great parallels to canon, it’s incredibly well written, humanity in all it’s ugly truth and “I will fight for you ‘til the last, Dean Winchester” jesus christ it’s so good, so good

Out of the Deep - https://archiveofourown.org/works/548878

Stay away from the light-beds. Stay in the deep.

It is the first thing hatchlings are taught the moment their fans unfurl and they can swim without their parents to buoy them along. It is the first rule, the first law. It is the beginning of every boogey-monster bedtime story told when they settle against the cliffs to sleep.

Castiel should have listened better.

I love everything she writes but I think this one if my favorite. It’s sooooo long, and angsty as fuck but all ends well and it has some very fluffy moments. If you’re into this kinf of AU then 100% go for it.

To Raise a King - https://archiveofourown.org/works/1961403

This must be some kind of horrible joke at Castiel’s expense. Is he truly expected to protect a King? One who has been their enemy for as long as he can remember? He is much more suited to being a part of the army, or at the very least someone who helps to train the knights. That would be far more preferred than having to watch over the King. It means Castiel would get to keep fighting – and that’s the only way he knows to give meaning to his life.

An AU too, Cas is tasked to watch over Sam and Dean -there’s an 8 year age difference between Dean and Cas. I loved it because it’s set over about 15 years and Cas is asexual and I love time period AU in general :’)

Painted Angels https://archiveofourown.org/works/1085792

Author Castiel Novak has finally hit the big time, with a book based on his failed college relationship with a brilliant painter. He's put all his pain behind him, but at a book signing, he comes face to face with Dean Winchester for the first time in twelve years, and the reunion doesn't go like Cas hoped. Dean's a broken man, with a lot of scars and secrets, shoulders weighed down by his demons and self loathing. Cas sees a second chance with the man he's never stopped loving, but Dean's moved on, and is about to get married. Sam launches a "brilliant" plan to reunite his brother and his best friend, but Cas is worried it will all blow up in their faces, and he'll go through the agony of losing Dean a second time.

This one is hard to read because for the most part, it’s heartbreaking. There are happy flashbacks all along but it’s still hard when what happens in the present it’s a fucking tragedy. But I would still read it a thousand times over, and the timestamp completely make up for all the pining and the angst. It’s rare to find fics that last an entire lifetime.

[jbuffyangel]

Strength: Arrow 8x05 Review (Prochnost)

We’re headed back to Russia for some Queen family vacation fun, except their version of “fun” is kidnappings and fight clubs.

Let’s dig in…

Oliver, Mia and William

Do you remember how we used to pray for a scene of Oliver teaching Felicity the bow and arrow? 

The scenes with Helena fueled my hate fire for years. The closest we ever came to Olicity “training” was Oliver offering Felicity a few punching pointers

and the glorious salmon-ladder-leads-to-sex scene.

I’m not complaining! All I’m saying is we could’ve had a bow-and-arrow-training-leads-to-sex scene too. I have several insert-scenario-here-leads-to-sex scene ideas this show has yet to explore.

Anyway, if we can’t have Felicity training with Oliver then second best is their daughter training with Oliver. The intro to “Prochnost” is almost three minutes long and it’s pure fan fiction from start to finish.  

Source: felicitysmoakgifs 

Oliver teaches Mia how to tennis ball and uses cooking as analogy before he remembers she’s 50% Smoak.

It is clear Mia still has a lot to learn not only from a vigilante perspective, but also in terms of her archer skills.  

When we met Oliver Queen in the pilot his skill set was perfected. He was a fully formed bad ass. 

We haven’t seen Mia train other than a montage with Nyssa Al Ghul in 7x16 and I am thoroughly enjoying there’s still a lot she can learn from her father.

Source: 1-crazy-dreamer

Oliver reviews all of his trick arrows with Mia, but doesn’t want them to become a crutch. 

Source: lucyyh 

What he doesn’t say is trick arrows became more of a necessity in disabling criminals after killing them was no longer an option. We’ve come a long way with Oliver Queen. If you had told me father/daughter training sessions were in our future when I watched the pilot then I would’ve laughed you out of the room because that’s a special brand of CRAZY.

Of course, a training scene without the stick thingies wouldn’t be a training scene on Arrow. 

Source: miasmoakdaily

Yes, I know there’s a technical term for the stick thingies, but if I haven’t learned it by now do you think I ever will? No is the right answer.

Oliver: Nyssa taught you well.

Mia: Mom made sure of it.

I think Arrow makes an important point during this scene. Nyssa Al Ghul is good, but she’s no Oliver Queen. There’s been many seasons where it feels like the writers down played Oliver’s skills to give the other team members something to do *cough*L*urelLance*cough*. 

However, the writers seem particularly focused on showing how Oliver’s skills are a whole other level now. Remember, he’s the guy who killed Ra’s Al Ghul – probably the greatest fighter of all time. It’s why Riccardo Diaz being a formidable threat was so laughable. When Felicity reached out to Nyssa she was asking the best for help, but there truly is no substitute for Oliver Queen.

Source: miasmoakdaily 

Mia “The Machine” Smoak-Queen (her official title btw) doesn’t need a break, but I love how Oliver worries about her nonetheless. DADDY OLIVER IS SO SOFT.

Source: amunetblack

Mia gently reins in William’s ramble and this is the brother/sister banter I am here for. Look, I know we’ve clocked a season and a half with these kids and I should be used to moments where they remind me of Oliver and Felicity, BUT I CAN’T GET USED TO IT. It still fills me with absolute glee anytime it happens.

Children are individuals with unique personalities, but one of the more fun aspects of parenting is seeing traits of other family members, or maybe even yourself, emerge in the child you’re raising. I feel the same glee when my daughter reminds me of my husband or mother. And since William and Mia are my fictional TV children why should I be any different?

There’s a Curtis reference in this scene, so naturally I doze off when that happens, but the cliff notes version is the energy wave that destroyed Earth 2 can be recreated. There’s a Russian general trying to replicate it via pulse wave generator weapon and Team Arrow needs to get the plans.

I think. Plus they need plutonium which Diggle volunteers to get.

Oliver invites the kids to Russia with him and they are equally as shocked as I am. 

Really? We’re going to Russia? I mean, I know we’re going to Russia, but Oliver’s casual invitation makes this trip sound like the equivalent of a grocery store run. The kids are so excited to be invited they think they’re going to Disney World with Dad.

This is so not going to be Disney World. TELL THEM THIS IS NOT GOING TO BE DISNEY WORLD OLIVER.

Oliver: I’m a better man. Different man. I think I can teach them the good without showing them the bad.

Oliver thinks this is going to be Disney World. 

Diggle accurately points out visiting the place which was home to the darkest point of his life may not be as simple as Oliver would like it to be. His answer is equally wonderful and sooooo WRONG. It’s WONDERFUL Oliver believes he’s a better man. It took us 8 long years to get here and his statement is no small thing. Round of applause for our boy.

Unfortunately, this is where the wonderful ends. Oliver is determined to only show his children the good. I guess it sounds ok when he says it, but upon closer examination it misses the forest through the trees. Everything that happened to Oliver Queen, good and bad, has formed the person he is. He cannot extricate the bad from this story anymore than he can the good. They are a sticky wicket forever entwined together. Take out one and you don’t get the full picture. And what his children need and deserve is the full picture.

That’s not to say Oliver’s filter is entirely wrong. There are certainly topics and information children are not ready to hear, can’t understand, or wouldn’t be appropriate to tell them. Every parent has some kind of filter when raising their children because that’s what good parenting requires.

This is appropriate when children are small. As your child grows into an adult then your relationship with them must become more adult, which requires more transparency. This is the problem between Oliver and his children. He is parenting like William and Mia are still little. And they are not.

If plans for a pulse generator sound like a flimsy excuse to go to Russia then you’d be right. The real reason we’re going to Russia isn’t because of some rando general. It’s to say goodbye to one of Arrow’s greatest supporting characters - Anatoly Knyazev

“My brother.”

I block out most of Season 6 because half of it was a walking horror show, so I don’t remember where Oliver and Anatoly left things after he joined and then betrayed Team Bad Guy. 

I guess their cool now? I don’t really want to spend all kinds of time on Oliver and Anatoly hashing out their issues, so if a hug gets the job done then I’m good. Also William speaks Russian. Queen men speaking foreign languages is hot.

A+ reaction Steve. 

Source: arrowdaily 

Anatoly was bored in the Maldives, now owns a bar and has a delicious pina colada recipe so that pretty much catches us up on him. He offers to help find Burov, but Oliver doesn’t want Anatoly’s “friends” involved because they are Bratva and he’s not discussing the bad parts of Russia with his children. I think the good parts of Russia ended at pina colada, Oliver. See how this is going to be a problem?

The best place to meet up with Burov is a local fight club. This prompts William to share where he met his baby sister and gives us Oliver’s best dad reaction to date. 

Source: 1-crazy-dreamer 

Bless you William. You do God’s work my boy.

Mia: Why did you bring us on this mission if you aren’t going to let us help?

Oliver: This is the Bratva. They are terrible people and you guys are my kids.

Mia: Yes, but we’re not children.

Oliver: Well you are when I look at you.

Aww… my sweet, lovable, wonderful Oliver. 

Do we ever stop looking at our children as children? Probably not. I know I will always be my parents’ baby girl and my daughter will always be mine. It is difficult to fully accept a human being as an adult when you’ve changed their diapers. And in Oliver’s defense he changed Mia’s diaper about five minutes ago in the present timeline, regardless of the future adults standing before him. We must give him some time to… adjust.

But Mia is Mia and doesn’t listen to anyone, other than William (SOUND FAMILIAR?) and he’s firmly on her team this week, so they go to the fight club and watch Dad in action. Mia has heard the stories of her father all her life but seeing him in action is an eye-opening experience. She is difficult to impress, but her dad is AWESOME. Yeah, we think so too honey. Welcome to stanning Oliver Queen.

Source: olivergifs

Unfortunately, the Bratva aren’t cool with the deal Oliver made with Burov and kidnap him along with Mia. Her Spidey sense was tingling, so she went to check on dad. Oops.

Source: feilcityqueen 

If there is one lesson the Arrow villains consistently fail to learn it’s DO NOT MESS WITH PEOPLE OLIVER QUEEN LOVES. He gets very angry and wildly unpleasant, which leads to many broken bones and occasionally murder. You put hands on Felicity Smoak and even I’m down with Oliver ripping off your head.

Of course, Oliver wakes from unconsciousness and his immediate question is if Mia is okay. Can’t-Admit-I’m-In-Love-With-You Oliver, 

Boyfriend Oliver,

Fiance Oliver, 

Ex-boyfriend Oliver, 

Husband Oliver, 

and Dad Oliver  are all the same Olivers.

Mia doesn’t understand why everyone in Russia knows who Oliver is and quickly deduces Dad was Bratva. Our princess is a smart cookie! Oliver is ticked Mia didn’t listen to him and there is truly no greater justice in the world than God creating a child who is exactly like you. Robert and Moira are having themselves a nice little chuckle.

Source: lucyyh 

The Bratva threatens to torture Mia if Oliver doesn’t tell them what’s on the zip drive. Mia is very brave and tells Daddy not to say anything. Pfft. Not likely Little Miss Square Bear. He points a gun at Oliver’s precious girl and counts down from five. The Green Arrow breaks like a pretzel. Honestly, I’m shocked Oliver didn’t give the guy the whole store after four.

Source: olicitygifs 

Unfortunately, nobody believes Oliver is telling the full story and a very large knife is brandished in Mia’s direction. Seriously? The one-time Oliver tells the truth he’s accused of lying. How ironic is that? The goon was at least 20 feet away from Mia, but Daddy was ready to flay him alive seven different ways. 

Oh. He was only cutting the restraints. Okay, we’ll knock down the flaying to five different ways.

The Bratva force Mia to play the Ring the Bell game. I don’t know if that’s what it’s called, but it works for my purposes. Oliver is very much HELL NO CHILD, but really her only other option is death. Of course, if she doesn’t ring the bell she dies too. ISN’T RUSSIA FUN? 

Mia kicks major ass, but is unable to ring the bell in under 60 seconds. This might have something to do with her wasting time to look back at the clock and then waiting an additional 3 seconds to reach for the friggin bell, but that’s just details. Be less stupid Arrow.

The Bratva don’t shoot her because… they’re nice gang of Russian mobsters now? 

Source: arrowdaily

This made very little sense other than Arrow doesn’t want to shoot the female lead of their new television show. On second thought, good enough for me. Oliver shoots death daggers at the man who scared the friggin bejesus out of him and it’s pretty much a certainty he will be flayed eight different ways.

William has a full-on panic attack over his father and sister’s kidnapping and it’s pretty much the cutest thing ever.  Then L*urel actually provides some necessary and helpful information. Is that the second week in a row this happened? I’m scared fandom. Hold me.

L*urel: Aren’t the people in your family constantly injecting each other with tracking devices?

William: Normally I would say God I hope not, but now I guess I can see the advantages.

He’s able to track them down, but L*urel and Anatoly show up right after Oliver has already freed himself by dislocating his thumbs. I love that trick. Mia’s reaction is the perfect combination of horrified and impressed. She really wants that trick to be on the next lesson plan.

Mia is bumming hard over not ringing the bell and boozes it up with some scotch. THY NAME IS GENETICS.

Oliver has had enough of his kids almost dying and is putting their asses on a plane back home BECAUSE THIS ISN’T DISNEY WORLD. 

William jumps firmly on Team Mia and reminds their father he’d be dead without them. Oliver has been dislocating his thumbs on his own for awhile now children. I think he’d survive without your help.

It’s time to set these kiddies straight.

Source:  oliverxfelicity

Mia tries to argue the whole adults saving the city angle, but that’s not going to fly in this timeline cupcake. 

In this timeline, Oliver smooshed those perfect chubby cheeks one more time before he left to save the universe 

Source:  oliverxfelicity 

and his rebelling teenage son, who was ousted from the present storyline to make a ridiculous plot point work in the future storyline, ignored his phone calls. (I’m never getting over the whole William never moves in with Mia and Felicity thing. NEVER.)

So, all of his children can take several seats and do what they’re told or they will be grounded! That includes no computer for you, William and Oliver will be taking that bow and arrow back little miss Mia.

Side note: This was a perfect time for William to explain WHY he didn’t return any of Oliver’s calls or if he even received them, but NOPE. Why would these writers attempt to clean up this mess of a storyline with reasonable explanations? Better to just ignore the Grand Canyon sized plot holes and keep driving through. 

Stephen Amell does a wonderful job in this scene as Oliver’s voice quivers with emotion. He’s skating the edge of keeping his composure and losing it all together perfectly this season. Neither Mia nor William have offered much understanding for where Oliver is coming from. Yes, they are adults but 1) No matter how old they get they will always be Oliver’s children and 2) HE MISSED TWENTY YEARS.  

Oliver has been very clear this was not a choice he wanted to make. Mia and William are not the only ones who lost something precious. Oliver lost a lot too. Part of being an adult is letting go of the natural narcissism we all have as children. So, if Mia and William want to put on their big boy and big girl pants then they need to show their father a little understanding and compassion.

Mia: And because you made the choice to protect us I had to spend my whole life alone. I didn’t have a chance to get to know my brother to get to know you.

Mia is not ready to do that yet. She throws Oliver’s choices in his face once again. He is still the one she wants to blame. If this reaction frustrates you then that’s understandable because Mia is supposed to be frustrating right now. It’s odd for us to be identifying through Oliver, but that’s what happens when the hero becomes fully evolved. This entire episode is about showing how much Mia still has to learn not only physically, but emotionally too.  

Source: oliverxfelicity

Oliver is getting used to Mia’s blame by now and it doesn’t really change his opinion on this situation. The worst part of this argument is Oliver believing his children hate him. His worst nightmare was Mia and William not understanding his choices and resenting him for it. Oliver’s greatest fear isn’t death. It is his children believing he abandoned them.

Mia being angry at Oliver over not growing up with William is really not his fault and it’s bizarre how the writers are insistent on lumping that in with everything else she’s ticked about. I did a deep dive on Mia’s emotional and psychological viewpoint last week and I won’t repeat it here because everything still stands. But how is Felicity never going back for William Oliver’s fault?

I’m not putting the blame on Felicity here either. It’s a ludicrous plot point that makes absolutely no sense, so it’s pointless to even try to argue the logic. And yet, that’s exactly what the writers keep trying to do. But it merely shines a brighter spotlight on their illogical reasoning behind the decision.

We are already sympathizing with Oliver because we know how heartbroken he was to leave his children. We know he sacrificed everything for a bunch of ungrateful twats who caught a lucky break for existing in the universe. But forcing Mia’s character to continually blame Oliver for EVERYTHING can rapidly make this character unlikeable. Particularly since her father left to SAVE THE UNIVERSE. The writers need to tread carefully. This has the same nonsensical threads of the Season 4 break up. Or, even worse, Mia channeling the same the anger/blame/bitterness of Season 1 & 2 L*urel Lance. Nobody wants a repeat of those hot messes.

Oliver is floundering. He missed twenty years of his children’s lives. They’ve arrived from a different time as adults. Oliver was still learning how to be a parent and then the universe flipped the board. He has no idea how to do this and the one person who can help him isn’t here. If there was ever a time Oliver needed his Felicity this is it.

So, the only guiding light Oliver has right now is the promise he made his wife and mother of his children. 

Source: oliverxfelicity 

Not to get too nitpicky on the details Oliver, but as @callistawolf​ pointed out in our Watchover episode of 8x05, we never heard him make any promises to Felicity about the children. 

In their final goodbye, it was Felicity promising Oliver to do whatever was necessary to keep their children safe (re: Nyssa Al Ghul). So, let’s just create our own head canon there was some Olicity discussion about the future kids being in present day off screen and he made the promise to her then. Cool? Cool.

OR Oliver is merely trying to score points in an argument via emotional manipulation, which hey man. More power to you. Whatever it takes to keep kiddos safe, I guess. I did have to chuckle about Oliver keeping his promises to Felicity NOW that she’s off the show. Where was this guy in 6x23? Or maybe I sobbed quietly. Probably a little of both. Regardless of the reasoning, it’s an EPIC speech. Dad for the win.

Oliver decides it’s time to get boozy. Amen brother. Pass the scotch. 

Anatoly is no Felicity Smoak, but in the ever-spinning weekly wheel of characters trying to fill her role, he asks the obvious question. Is Oliver sending his children home because he believes they cannot handle Russia/vigilantism/life?

Of course, the answer has been obvious from the moment Oliver decided to only share the good. It’s not about what his children can handle. This is about what Oliver can handle.

Anatoly: That is understandable. You’re ashamed. You have truly done some terrible things.

Oliver: Thank you for the reminder.

Anatoly: But you also have done some good things. It’s important that the kids see both.

Can’t you just hear Felicity Smoak saying these lines? Only in an adorable ramble and less booze? I miss her. Just leaving this here.

I absolutely understand Oliver’s refusal to share the darkest moments of his past. It’s not like my dad has gone chapter and verse into his Vietnam experiences. But I know he was there. I know some of the stories. Maybe Oliver doesn’t need to go into detail about the time he skinned a guy, but he can be honest with his children about being in the Bratva.

Anatoly: That’s the thing about teaching. It’s not about what you want to say. It’s about what they need to hear.”

This part of the speech is all Anatoly. 

Source: 1-crazy-dreamer 

He taught Oliver living was not for the weak because this was the lesson Oliver needed to hear.  Maybe he missed out on teaching William and Mia how to tie their shoes or ride a bike, but nobody understands what it means to be a hero better than Oliver Queen. The Crisis is coming and if Oliver is marching slowly but steadily to his death then he must pass on all he’s learned. There is still so much to teach Mia and William about Oliver’s life and who he is. Those lessons can only come from their father.  What William and Mia need to hear is the truth.

“You were so little. I think that’s what I’ve always wanted all these years. Is for you just to stay little, quiet and safe. But you’re not any of those things. You’re loud and fearless and it scares the crap out of me.” Derek Shepherd, Grey’s Anatomy

His children are loud and fearless and it scares the crap out of Oliver Queen. But there’s a deeper fear driving his hesitation. Oliver is afraid that if he tells Mia and William the truth about his past then they’ll only hate him more. He is constantly afraid of losing his children’s love.

But truth is the path to understanding. Anatoly is right. Oliver must give Mia and William a chance. The real truth is there’s nothing he has done or will ever do that will make his children stop loving him. Sure, Mia is angry at Oliver, but she’s only angry because she loves him. She craves her father’s approval more than anything.

Oliver changes his parenting tactic. He cannot shield his children from the very life they have chosen for themselves. He asks Mia to fight in the ring with him and William to help get them in. Oliver treats his children like they are part of the team – like partners.

Mia has been trying to show her father what she’s capable of since the moment she came to the present. Underneath all that anger and blame, is a little girl who just wants to make her daddy proud. What Mia needs to realize is she already makes Oliver proud merely by existing. However, he offers her the support and belief she’s been craving as they enter the ring together. 

Source: oliverxfelicity

The look on her face says everything about how Mia truly feels about her dad.

Source: arrowdaily

FATHER DAUGHTER FIGHT CLUB. From the moment, we met Blackstar in the ring I hoped she was Olicity’s daughter and we would somehow, someway get a scene of Oliver and Mia teaming up. But I never imagined these circumstances. It’s awesome.

After kicking butt as a team and a family, Oliver opens the door to his past and lets his children walk through. And what better place to start than the beginning?

Source: olivergifs

The truth is a tie that binds and it will be the foundation of Oliver’s relationship with his children. Something he never had with his parents until it was too late.

And did William and Mia stop loving Oliver after they heard the truth? No. They understand him better and love him all the more for what he’s survived. 

Mia: Don’t forget to send me that picture of my dad with that haircut.

Anatoly: Don’t forget to ask about Bratva tattoo. We have matching.

Oliver: Used to. Used to actually.

William: Oh I’m gonna need to hear that story immediately.

Well... son this raving loony burned my tattoo off my chest after several hours of torture. 

The warm banter of this scene isn’t to make light of what Oliver Queen suffered. It’s to show the power of telling our stories. Pain and fear lose control over us, bit by bit, the more we talk about it and share with our loved ones. We let them inside the good and bad, so we don’t have to carry it by ourselves anymore. Overtime, we begin to see our suffering for what it is - something we survived. Children, in particular, have an ability to find the light in the dark. We can see our life through their eyes and remarkably, yes even find the humor in what was once unspeakable pain. And come on - Oliver’s flashback hair is always funny.

Family is the source of Oliver’s strength. It always has been. It’s what helped him survive the unsurvivable.

He can only become his children’s strength by teaching them how he became a better man. William and Mia can only understand who their father is, and how to be heroes, by knowing the good and the bad. Hiding either tarnishes the beauty of his story. Oliver is finally strong enough to tell it and his children are strong enough to hear it. And that’s how the past, present and future will find harmony, acceptance, forgiveness and love.

Source: oliverxfelicity

Diggle and Roy

John enlists Roy’s help obtaining the plutonium.

 Source: thistributeisonfire

We’re going to run through this pretty quick because this storyline is all about getting Colton Haynes back on Team Arrow for the final episodes. 

Diggle tells Roy what happens to him in the future. The cure for Roy’s bloodlust wasn’t hiding out on Lian Yu for 20 years. It was rejoining the team and fighting for the city again.

Diggle: Maybe this time you don’t have to wait that long.

Diggle’s ENTIRE motivation is to change Roy’s future and it’s not difficult to figure out why. Obviously John cares about Roy and wants to help him. However, Roy also makes a very good test case. Diggle is also desperate to change Connor, JJ and Zoe’s future as well. If they can make their own hope in the present then maybe things can be different for his children in the future.

Source: 1-crazy-dreamer

We all need love and support. None of us can truly survive on our own - particularly when we are suffering. Roy fights John at first, but eventually he comes to realize he’s right. Roy found purpose and family when he met Oliver so it makes sense to him they are the reason he gets better. So why wait? He comes home and begins the path to healing twenty years earlier. And thus, a major storyline from Season 7 flash forwards begins to change.

ROY MADE SENSE Y’ALL!!! 

L*urel L*nce

I truly could not figure out why L*urel was in Russia. I guess to help Oliver track down these plans, but she spent the better part of the episode staring at her fingernails. That’s not even an exaggeration. KC stared at her fingernails for an entire scene.

Source: thistributeisonfire 

Her interactions with Oliver are even more bizarre.

Source: 1-crazy-dreamer 

I’m sorry, but does L*urel go here? Bl*ck S*ren has been on the show since Season 5. You’d think at this point she’d know Oliver Queen can easily handle one guy twice his size. I’m chalking up this stupidity to the acting version of a layup, so Stephen Amell can spike it with the epic comeback of, “I’ll give him half a chance.”

I guess L*urel is primarily in Russia to betray Oliver Queen and steal the plans or something, per Lyla’s instructions.

LL: And here I thought I was supposed to be the bad guy.

At last count Lyla never murdered innocent people, so I think she's still ahead by the numbers Bl*ck S*ren.  This is the problem with L*urel’s character this year. The comparisons her character makes this season are INSANE. Putting on a new suit and calling yourself Bl*ck C*nary doesn’t automatically make you morally superior to everyone.

At least when Season 7 L*urel was playing attorney she had a healthy perspective on herself.  I was a big fan of the snark last season and found her character to be refreshingly amusing in her biting honesty, but this year the writers lost the snarky humor and have gone straight to obnoxious hypocrisy and judgment.  Sometimes she’s just downright mean in a way none of the other characters deserve. Yes, Lyla is being shady, but this in no way erases the horrors of your past L*urel. 

L*urel: If saving it means going back to the person I used to be then what the hell is the point?

We all know this whole betray Oliver thing the Monitor is playing at with L*urel is a trick. She’s not going to betray Oliver and prove herself a worthy and useful hero.  Ok. Whatever. I know I’m supposed to get excited about her big speech, but this line kind of gnawed at me. 

L*urel is unwilling to save an ENTIRE EARTH because she’d have to do something shady. She’s not willing to do any dirty work if it sullies her good name. So, Earth 2 only matters as long as L*urel gets to be a hero on it? I guess I should be happy L*urel is holding onto her moral center, but if there’s anything Oliver Queen’s story has taught us sometimes heroism requires doing unpleasant things for the greater good.

Take Lyla for example – a person L*urel feels quite comfortable judging. Lyla has been lying to her husband, something she does not want to do, for the greater good. I think we know enough about Lyla’s character by now that even though her actions are hurtful we can trust her reasons. 

LL’s primary function this week it seems is to rat Lyla out to Diggle and Oliver.

Source: stevesrogered

I guess we’re supposed to rejoice there’s no price L*urel is willing to pay for her morality, but this is still the same person who has yet to take any responsibility for the people she’s murdered. The line just sounded so arrogant and self serving to me. I don’t know. Maybe it was just KC’s delivery.

It’s been difficult for me to imagine what role either L*urel or Dinah will play in the spin off and seeing as how the writers are struggling to find a purpose for their characters in the final season of Arrow I am not encouraged. That said, L*urel’s scene with Mia was one of the few bright spots for her character in this week’s episode.  Mia believes she’s not cut out to be a hero because she failed to ring the bell like her father and Zoe’s death still weighs heavily on her conscious.

Mia: Every time I try and live up to my dad or to prove I can do what it is you all do. I fail.

L*urel: If you’re trying to live up to us, don’t. We are just as flawed as anyone. Especially me. All you can do is live up to yourself.

Damn L*urel. That was really good advice and a truthful reflection of the person you are. CAN WE HAVE THIS ATTITUDE CONSISTENTLY WEEK TO WEEK PLEASE WRITERS? This is the first time I can see a version of L*urel working in the spin off, but that’s always the problem with the writing of her character. We never know which version we’re going to get.

Season 8 is slipping back into very bad Season 1 habits. There’s a lack of cohesiveness with L*urel and they really need to get this sorted out before the new show hits the air. Otherwise, we’re going to have the same problem we’ve always had with her character. No matter how many versions of L*urel’s character these writers create they never figure out who she truly is because they don’t want to devote the necessary screen time. This leaves us with a half baked canary every single time.

If L*urel is going to play Rupert Giles to Mia’s Buffy in the spin off then this scene is a good indication of how it could work, but that’s only if this path stays on track which seldom happens with this character. The key to LL is a very specific supporting role. She worked great in Season 7 because her focus was getting Oliver Queen out of jail. Then,it was about fleshing out her redemption and shipping her back to E2 to make amends.

L*urel lacks a concrete To Do list this year. They toss her into scenes and she takes up space looking at her fingernails. Or she arrives a few minutes after Oliver frees himself to scream down a door he could have easily opened. Or she says something hypocritical and nasty. REALLY? This is the best these writers can come up with? Sadly, history points to yes.

Keep her scenes short. Keep her scenes specific. Keep her scenes supporting. That’s the only way this character works. And believe me I wish it was different, but there doesn’t seem to be any version of L*urel L*nce these writers can keep a handle on.

You know what I appreciate about this scene between Anatoly and William though? Anatoly addresses his less than honorable past and apologizes. I can’t fully remember what Anatoly did to William - I think it might have been related to kidnapping or a bomb or a nuke or all three. See? I told you I don’t remember S6. My point is - can we expect an apology from L*urel for being an accessory to William’s mother’s murder? I won’t hold my breath. It would be extremely helpful if they addressed LL’s past in an honest way and actually had her show remorse to one of her victims, but again that requires more screen time and effort than this show is ever will to give her character.

SO WHY DO THEY KEEP HER AROUND?

Stray Thoughts

Connor isn’t in this week’s episode because he’s checking in on Sandra. Soooo… Connor can visit his mother but Mia and William can’t visit theirs? I know this is yet another EBR plot hole, but find a better reason for Connor to be MIA writers. It just makes the Smoak-Queen family look uncaring, which we know they are not. And if Connor can get an off camera mother moment mention then why can’t Mia and William? THESE ARE THE THINGS THAT ANNOY ME.

“Has anyone fought six men before?” Mia and Oliver’s side eye is hilarious, but didn’t Mia fight six goons by herself? And we’ve watched Oliver take down twenty without breaking a sweat. Raise the number in the ring a little if you want me to take their hesitation seriously.

Diggle is absolutely horrified to find out Lyla is working against the team with The Monitor. “I didn’t want to believe it was true.” Boy, really? Who are you kidding? This is Lyla Michaels, super spy. She’s been lying and doing shady things from minute one. She’s the Oliver to your Felicity. Get out of here with that nonsense. This is totally something she would do and you know it. Lol

William doesn’t like the field, but the allure of beautiful couture convinces him otherwise. At least he didn’t have to go on a skeevy date with Ray Palmer to wear it. Source:  felicitysmoakgifs

William’s “Wrap it up” sign while Mia was fighting was such a funny and wonderful way of showing their team within a team.

“I can be the fun uncle.” Raise your hand if you want Anatoly as a fun uncle. 

He was a complicated, but ultimately wonderful character who made Arrow a better show. 

Goodbye Anatoly. I will miss you. source:  oliverxfelicity

Disclaimer: Any gifs on the blog are not mine. If you would like a gif removed from my reviews, please message me. 8x05 gifs credited.

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[wonwoosthetic]

Memories That Brought Us Back Together || Chris Evans

MASTERLIST           WHO I WRITE FOR

Hey everyone! I hope you are having a great day and that it will get even better after reading this imagine :) I’m really happy with how it turned out and I hope you enjoy it just as much!

A huge ‘Thank You’ to the person that requested this, I hope I didn’t let you down :) <3

Requests by anonymous: About the Chris Evans imagine.. maybe one where the reader and chris have broke up and they meet after a year in a party and at first it is awkward and they start a small fight but after that they remember the good old days together and after hours of talking they decide to give another try to their relationship..(can you make it fluffy pls)

None of the gifs in the imagine belongs to me!

This is the longest imagine EVER - seven-word pages long! I hope it was worth it ;)

Pairing: Chris Evans x Fem!Reader, some of the Marvel cast are included

Warning: cute flashbacks? :)

(He’s always looking dashing, but I think he is sooooo handsome in that video, omg)

Memories That Brought Us Back Together

The elevator music was calming every nerve in your body but had no chance of covering up the music coming from the upper apartment, that you were making your way to. Scarlett on your right, Mark on your left. You shouldn’t have been as nervous as you were, but oh boy, the anxiety was real.

RDJ’s parties were known to be loud but think about the noise coming from his penthouse when the entire cast plus family, and crew were celebrating the massive success Avengers: Infinity War had brought. Being a part of this franchise was nerve-wracking enough but thinking about seeing your ex-boyfriend again, was even worse. You were quite lucky, not having to shoot any scenes with Chris during the filming of Infinity War and the fourth Avengers movie, but you couldn’t say ‘No’ to this celebration – you really tried – but Scarlett and Ruffalo showed up at your house to drag you to this party. Scarlett knew about your worries, but she also had an idea of what could happen that day, obviously not telling you anything about her ‘plan’.

The elevator doors opened and the three of you were hit with the sight of dancing bodies, the smell of alcohol and people walking around and talking. Scarlett touched your arm, making you turn your head towards her “Promise me, you’re gonna talk to him. You didn’t really end on good terms and he’s still thinking about you. And you’re not better in any way.” “I’m not that bad and please it’s been over a ye-“, you protested but Mark interrupted you “Oh no, (Y/N), don’t even try talking yourself out of this. You’ve been horrible and Chris as well. My gosh, just talk, you can’t get out of each-others way forever.” You gave him a look that said more than words ever could, but to describe it, it was a ‘Shut your mouth’-look. But you also knew, that the both of them weren’t wrong, Chris and you sadly didn’t end well on good terms, due to the both of you just fighting over the littlest of things – it was all getting too much for you, so you just walked out of your shared house and left a relationship worth five years of memories, love, respect, and passion behind.

“Guys, Jeremy’s over there, I’m gonna go. Have fun”, Mark excused himself and started walking off “And talk to him!”, he shouted before disappearing into the large mass of people.

“Come on, let’s get us some drinks”, the actress next to you suggested and dragged you to the bar.

The big living room was filled to the brim with people, making it hard to walk through – you had no idea, that many people wanted to take part in this celebration. Reaching the lounge, a bartender was right at your side, asking for your orders “What can I get you?”, he was very polite. “A Gin for me, and she gets a Vodka-Tonic “, Scarlett ordered, not even letting you decide. The bartender walked off and you gave your friend a look of disbelieve “Are you crazy? Vodka-Tonic? What makes you think I’ll drink that? You knew I wanted to drive home earlier tonight.”

(please ignore the text on the gif)

“Oh right, sorry”, she answered, her voice filled with sarcasm “I completely forgot.” “Scarlett, I mean it. I don’t want to get too drunk”, you made clear. She looked you right in the eyes “Loosen up. I’m gonna make sure you don’t get wasted”, she turned her head towards the bar and glimpsed at the wall “I just want to get you to talk.” You got quite annoyed “Oh my gosh, Scarlett, we’re gonna talk tonight. I don’t want to, he doesn’t want to. Please, just let it be.” “No! I won’t just let it be! He wants to talk to you, just as much as you want to make things right with him. We’ve all been worried about you. You were the golden couple, everyone adored you, strived to be like you.” She knew she hit a nerve there and you knew she was right. You were America’s number one couple, your split-up was huge, it didn’t only hit you, but everyone you’ve ever worked with as well, especially your best friends – the Marvel cast. You didn’t want to walk out on him and regretted it like you had never regretted anything else in your life – you wanted to make things right, you just didn’t really know how. The mixologist came back with two drinks in his hands and slid them across the wooden counter into your direction. After giving him a small ‘Thanks’ by raising the glass, you swallowed the beverage in one gulp. “Another please!”, you shouted from across the bar, letting the bartender know, you want to get at least tipsy. Scarlett gave you a shocked look, that was followed by a knowing smirk – she ordered another one as well. The drinks got done quicker and you bumped your filled glasses onto each other and got them down your throat immediately. The two of you ordered another one. After receiving it, you turned around, leaning onto the counter with your back, while Scarlett was getting ready to leave you alone “I’m gonna head of the toilette, be right back”, she excused herself and walked off – she didn’t need the toilette but saw Chris on the other end of the bar. Walking towards the ladies’ room, she passed Chris and touched his shoulder “She’s up there”, nodding in your direction “Please talk to her, she’s too stubborn.” Her comment made him smile, he remembered your stubbornness from the five years of being together. She walked off and he kept his gaze on you – you didn’t notice anything. Your eyes were wandering across the room, noticing the similarities to Tony Stark’s apartment in the Avenger’s tower in the movies. You remembered Robert telling you, that he had been looking for a penthouse that was either very similar to his character’s or one, that he could renovate to make it look like the Avenger’s apartment – and he finally found one.

After deciding that the room was way too loud and crowded for you to be on your own, you decided to leave it and made your way upstairs. The upper floor had about five bedrooms, with individual bathrooms and a very big balcony that you were able to enter from the hallway. You opened the sliding glass door and came to contact with the cold breeze of that night and the typical New Yorker industrial smell. Walking up to the glass railing, looking down on the street and into the night sky. You stood there slightly tipsy thinking about every mistake you had made in your relationship with Chris and came to the conclusion that there were too many to remember them all. The feeling of regret came up again, the same you had right after leaving the house a bit over a year ago.

Your daydreams were interrupted by a male voice appearing next to you, making you jump slightly

“Looks just like Stark’s right?”

Your head shot into the direction the voice was coming from – Chris. He was leaning on the railing with his arms, gazing into the distance. Your nerves were fiddling up and you tried to stay calm

“Yeah, I didn’t think he would actually find one like this”, you kept your gaze down.

Your ex-boyfriend looked lovingly at you, thinking about his immense mistake of letting you go. There was an awkward silence between you two before he decided to speak up again

“H-How are you… doing?”

His voice was gentle, sweet, and it really sounded like he meant it – he did. He had heard about your sorrow, the fact that you didn’t leave Scarlett’s house for a month, where you stayed for five months before finding an apartment, and that you even thought about not being a part of Infinity War, and it was all his fault.

You turned your head once more, this time looking him directly in the eyes “How do you think?” Your eyes started watering up ‘Don’t cry in front of him!’, your inner voice warned you. You started blinking quickly, hoping for the tears to just go back. “I-I… I’m sorry”, he shook his head. An uncomfortable feeling started making its way up – you didn’t want him to feel sorry, it was your fault. “You shouldn’t be the one saying that…”, you looked at him sadly, pleadingly. “Yes, I should. I was the one that made you leave the house. I was the one that started those useless fights. I mean over butter?!”, he defended you and lastly asked himself even why his anger rose over the smallest things. His comment made you slightly smile though “Yeah, the fight because of the butter was useless.” Chris started laughing, only by looking at your smile. “But we didn’t fight that much”, you tried making him feel better, even though you knew how much you had fought. “(Y/N)”, he looked at you sternly “We fought A TON”, but still had a smile on his face. “Maybe, but we didn’t only fight… We had a lot of good moments together”, you didn’t want him to take too much of the blame. He started laughing out loud and clapped his hands “Oh yeah! Like when you brought home a random dog and tried hiding her from me!” “But she was so cute and a stray!”, you started laughing at the memory.

--- Two Years Ago ---

Chris and you just found a beautiful house on the outside of Boston, fifteen minutes away from his parents, with a huge garden, perfect for Dodger to play in. Chris was at his parents’ house, getting some of his old stuff to bring to your new shared home, while you were taking your dog on a walk when you heard a duffed bark from the bushes. You started looking around, thinking that you may have just heard it in your imagination, but Dodger’s ears were up. “What is it, Dodger?”, you asked the dog in a high-pitched voice, not expecting an answer. He started sniffing around, came to a stop and started barking at the bushes. “Shhh”, you shushed him, making him quiet down. The dog started making its way into the plants and moved around a bit, when all of a sudden, he came back out, but not alone. He held, what looked like, a Golden Retriever puppy in his mouth and carried it to your feet.

“Oh my gosh”, you looked shockingly at the scarred puppy “Well done, Dodger” and petted your own dog. You felt so sorry for it ‘Who would leave a puppy out here?’

Not even thinking about it for too long, you decided to take the little dog with you, and held in your arms, the entire way home. After entering the house, you put the Golden Retriever down, to unleash the big dog and take your shoes off. You tried leading the stray into the kitchen, to give it some food, due to it looking very fragile. It followed you carefully, sniffing your hand every so often, with Dodger protectively right behind. After successfully reaching the kitchen, you grabbed one of the many bowls you had, filled it up with some dog food and placed it on the floor, in front of the puppy. The stray looked suspiciously but started eating right away. While it ate, you tried petting it, which was very easy – it trusted you. “We can’t tell Chris right away, just so you know. I don’t think he would approve of another dog. Just know that I love you”, you smiled at the little one.

Suddenly you could hear a car door being slammed from outside, and you immediately knew that your boyfriend was back. “Crap”, you cursed while standing up quickly, making Laila (yes you already gave her a name) flinch, and ran towards the living room and jumped onto one of the sofas, quickly grabbing a magazine and pretended to read it.

The front door open, revealing a very happy thirty-one-year-old “I’m back home!” Dodger already ran into the hallway, ready to welcome his owner, who was carrying two boxes. He put them down and welcomed his dog as well, before making his way to you. You were still sitting on the couch with pouting lips, waiting for Chris to kiss you. Your boyfriend walked up to you and planted a kiss on your lips “How was the walk?”, he asked, walking back into the hallway to grab the boxes he had left there, only to place them on the dining table in the living/dining room. You got up from your position and strolled into his direction, leaning on one of the chairs next to him “Oh, you know, nothing, nothing exciting.” He gave you a weird look but didn’t question it any further. Chris decided on getting a drink from the kitchen, making you run up to the closed door, which led separated the two rooms.

“What are you doing?”, he wondered while laughing. “There might has happened something, today, while I was walking Dodger. Just-just a little thing”, you answered slowly “What is it?”, he asked, looking at you with loving eyes “Please it can’t be that bad.” “Well, it isn’t… I think. Just- ugh, I don’t know. Go look”, you didn’t really know how to tell him, so you decided to just let him see it for himself.

He walked past you, opened the door, and immediately came to sight with the small puppy, trying to crawl into the bowl, to get the last bits of food “That is not our dog”, Chris pointed at it. You walked past him and crouched down to get him out of the bowl, and sat him down on your lap “I know, but look at it”, you picked the Golden Retriever up and held it out, for your boyfriend to look closer. He laughed and got down on his knees as well “Alright, yes, it is cute, but it’s not ours, we can’t keep it”, he held his hand out to earn its trust. “But he was in the bushes! In the bushes Chris! Who would do that?! Not one that wants their dog back”, you defended yourself. “OK, but you know it just as much as I do – we can’t keep another dog in the house. My parents are already taking Dodgers when we’re filming, they won’t be able to look after another one. Let’s take him to the vet, they’ll know what to do.” “But-“, you really wanted to keep it, but he was right and you knew it, you couldn’t keep another one. “(Y/N)”, he said your name sternly, like a parent telling their kids off. Your stubbornness kicked in “No! I don’t want anyone else to look after him or her!” Chris looked at you “Who do you think could take better care of him or her? Us – a couple who is sometimes gone for months? OR – a couple who is only gone for a couple of hours a day, and can take it on walks, and play with it.” You huffed “Alright, alright, you’re right.” You didn’t want to give in, but you knew that someone else would be able to really show him, love.

The both of you got up, with Chris holding the puppy, making your way to your boyfriend’s Range Rover. You left Dodger at home, knowing he wouldn’t do anything bad, like destroying any furniture.

--- Back At The Party ---

“That was the first time Dodger ever destroyed the couch!”, you laughed out loud. “Oh yes, and he did it well!”, Chris stated, remembering the condition of your sofa when you came back from the vet.

“You were the only person, I ever gave in to”, your loving gaze was full on the actor, who was now very close to you. “Ehhhh, well, not always. You’re an extremely stubborn person”, you rolled your eyes at his comment “Like that one time, we looked after Stella.” The both of you started laughing uncontrollably remembering the fun time you had “But who knew Dodger would do that!”, you defended your decision from back then.

--- A Year, And A Half Ago ---

“Come on Stella, one more bite”, you were trying to feed Chris’ little niece, you were babysitting. She was shaking your head, refusing to eat one more spoon of the potato-mash you made for her. “Pleeeaaseee”, you pleaded her, but she ignored it. Her eyes were following your dog, who was walking around her high chair, every now and then smelling her feet, making her smile.

Chris entered the room “Still trying to get her to eat that?”, he smiled “What do you mean THAT? It’s mash, it’s delicious”, you explained. “Clearly not to her”, your boyfriend pointed at the toddler in the high chair, his sister borrowed you for two days and a night. You huffed and placed the bowl on the table, making the actor smile, walk up to you, and place a kiss on your head “I still love it”, and took the bowl of potato mash to eat it himself.

You stood up and took Stella out of the chair, to take her into the living room. You placed her on the carpet in front of a couple of her favourite toys, according to Chris’ sister. You started playing with her, making the little girl smile. “Why do you don’t like my mashed potatoes?”, you asked her while playing on the mini xylophone. The toddler laughed at you and took the wand out of your hand, to play the instrument herself.

Dodger walked over to the two of you, sniffing around the room. Your phone, which was still on the dining table, started ringing, making you turn your head around. You rose up from the ground and were about to walk away when Chris peaked his head out the door from the kitchen “Don’t leave Stella alone on the floor with Dodger”, he warned you. “He won’t do anything”, you answered, “He doesn’t even bite.” “I’m not saying he’ll bite”

You reached the table and saw Chris’ sister was calling you, so you picked it up “Hello?”, you answered the phone. “Hey (Y/N), I’m just calling to see if everything’s alright”, she stated. “Yes”, you laughed at her protectiveness “Don’t worry, everything’s fine. Enjoy your evening, don’t think about her too much, she’s a princess.” It was the first time her and her husband left the kids to have a date night -  Scott took the older one of the kids, Miles, and you looked after Stella. “I trust you guys, it’s just really hard not to think about them” “I get it. But don’t worry, everything’s perfect. She’s playing with her xylophone right now”, you explained. Chris walked out of the kitchen and made his way to the living room with a plate of fruit for Stella to eat, due to her not wanting to eat the mash. “Oh, alright, well then. I’m gonna go and call Scott to see-“ She was about to continue when your boyfriend shouted from behind you “Oh no, Dodger”, he clearly wasn’t able to control his laughter. Your sister-in-law immediately started to worry “Wh-what’s going on??!!” You ran up to the couch, only to see that Dodger had planted himself onto Stella. You started laughing so hard, it was difficult to answer the worried woman on the other line “I-it-don’t, oh my gosh, don’t worry. Dodger just-just planted himself onto your daughter.” Your statement made her giggle, and suddenly the three of you were laughing uncontrollably. “OK, just make sure she’s alright. Have a good night”, she said goodbye. “Good night, bye.” And you ended the phone call.

“Get him off her!”, you told Chris, but he was laughing too hard and making a video of what was happening in front of him. “No, Stella, say ‘Get off Dodger’”, he answered, and was then telling his niece what to do. “Stella, tell him”, you tried encouraging her “Come on, get up.” “I can’t”, she answered, struggling to get up, due to the weight of the dog. You sat down next to your boyfriend, still laughing. After a couple more struggles, she finally managed to get out, and immediately sat on a chair in front of the sofa you were sitting on. Yours and Chris’ laughter calmed down and he wrapped his left arm around you, for you to lean your head on his shoulder. “When we have kids and something like this happens, I won’t just let you stand aside and film the whole thing. Just so you know”, you joked. Your comment made your boyfriend turn his head to look “When we have kids?”

You raised your head and looked at him “Yeah”, you simply stated. “You thought about us having kids?”, he was still in shock but was also extremely happy to hear those words come from your mouth. “Of course. You haven’t?”, you wondered, hoping that you didn’t just cross a line. “No, I-I-mean, of course, I have… I just… I don’t know. That just came quite shockingly”, he smiled at you. You made yourself a bit taller and kissed him lovingly.

--- On The Balcony ---

The memory brought tears to your eyes, that you couldn’t hide anymore, and the tears started streaming down your face. Chris wasn’t a lot better – his eyes were filled with tears, but he was able to get them to go back just by grabbing the bridge of his nose, between his eyes.

“I loved the idea of having kids with you”, you started another conversation with him.

He looked at you with pleading eyes “Then let’s continue what we had” You turned your head to look at him with a slight frown on your face “What?” He got closer to you and took your face in his big hands, wiping those tears of yours with his thumb away “Don’t cry – you’re way too beautiful for that” You smiled at his comment. You looked into each-others eyes – more love couldn’t be there. “Let’s go back to those good times. We didn’t end on good terms, we both know that. But that doesn’t mean that we can’t just get over that and take off again from the good memories… They’re so many of those”, he suggested. You nodded smilingly “I think that would be a good idea.”

Your comment made the both of your grins widen, to the point where it hurt to smile so much. He slowly leaned down, due to your height difference, and put his soft lips on yours, making all those butterflies, that you thought were dead, come back to live in your stomach. If he hadn’t hold your face his hands, making you able to stand, your knees would have given up.

After a good minute of kissing each other with all the passion that you missed in that year apart from each other, your faces separated, but your foreheads kept leaning on each other. “I missed you”, you commented, resting your forehead on his. “I missed you so much, you have no idea”, he stated right back at you. You separated a bit more, your hands now on his, which were still on your face. Chris opened his mouth “I love you. I still do. I never stopped” Tears started leaving your eyes again “I love you too.” He kissed every single one of the tears you shed until he reached your lips again.

Suddenly there was clapping being heard from the inside of the building, making the two of you separate. There was the entire Marvel-cast looking at you, clapping. RDJ was the one to start “Finally! My gosh, do you know how long we’ve been waiting for this!” Everyone started laughing, and your boyfriend looked deeply into your eyes “Yeah, I’ve waited way too long as well.”

---

Oh boy, 4006 words! A new record has been set on his blog! :)

Thank you for taking your time, and, I really hope you enjoyed reading it!

I’m really proud of how it turned out, so yeah :) Thank you to the person who requested it :) <3

[apartyofone]

Euro finale

Last of my notes:

The cabbie from Nice airport was talkative and friendly - already a change of pace from the icy cold Swiss. When I told him the name of the hotel he smiled and said - you're in for a very special stay! Wow - ok that sounded interesting. He dropped me off - and within 5 minutes I started to understand what he meant. The name of the hotel is Hotel La Perouse. I suggest anyone reading this account should Google it because my description is probably not going to be worthy of this grand place. Eh, never mind - I'll save you the time.  

https://www.hotel-la-perouse.com/

The hotel itself is built into the contours of a cliff that divides Nice - to the south is the long beach and promenade. (Sadly - the place of that horrible terrorist attack in 2016 -

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2016_Nice_attack

But here’s a look at the hotel:

Yeah, it was that good.

The fun started when I checked in. The porter grabbed my too-heavy suitcase and made for the elevator. Which only went to one other level - 5 floors above the street, just one stop. Straight up the cliff. We wound around the hotel to elevator #2. That went another 4 floors. And then the final elevator - up to the top 3 floors! I finally memorized the route by day 2! My room was not facing the sea - damnit - but that probably meant my 300 Euro room would have been 500 or more. That's fine. I had a lovely cool patio against the cliffside, private and surrounded the dry native vegetation clinging to the cliff. The room itself was spacious and modern. In fact every hotel I chose on this top was fabulous for one reason or another. Even Geneva with it's strange sexual symbols throughout the place! Maybe those Swiss aren't so cold after all.

Now I was energized to explore this amazing town. The cab ride had been straight from the airport but the cabbie had told me about exploring the old town sections. That proved to be one of the highlights of this trip. I spent the rest of the afternoon exploring the narrow streets and alleys of this ancient town. While I couldn't say that it was crowded with tourists, there were always a few people around. Every different little alcove had its own character to it. So many restaurants - many of them shuttered in the heat of the afternoon. I walked probably 4 miles around just one part of the huge old city, poking my head into courtyards and building if the gate/door was open. No one objected to the obvious tourist having a look around. Warm and welcoming - that's the theme of this part of France. At least where ever I journeyed. Maybe I was putting too much stock into the difference in Switzerland to France? Could be.

I knew I was coming back to this maze of streets on my final day, so I decided to extend my touristic range. I booked a trip through the hotel for a brief glimpse of Monaco and Monte Carlo for the next morning. Then I walked around the cliffside, away from the beach promenade,  to the less touristy area of Nice, near the harbor. The hotel did a great job of recommending restaurants and I found - and enjoyed - a seafood place right across from the yacht moorage. After exploring a bit of the residential blocks going into the hills I trudged back to my hotel. I think I logged a good 6-8 miles of walking! Had a nightcap in the delightful bar area near the pool and struck up a conversation with a lovely lady who was leaving the next morning. Unfortunately I couldn't talk her into extending her stay. But I might have a place to stay in Paris next year. : ) My bag might be heavy yet again.

My final day of vacation - and I think I took advantage of every single moment. After a nice breakfast with my new friend, I put her in her cab for the airport and I met my tour guide Joseph. I booked a  half day tour into Monaco - and it turned out to be almost a private tour! Only two other people on the tour bus - a couple from Italy - and two tour guides! The couple paired off with the Italian speaker, and I was with Joe, a fascinating Frenchman. Around 60 years old, Joe has spent his entire life in the tourism and travel industry, from hotels and hospitality, to cruise ships and now doing tours in Nice and Monte Carlo.

You know how there are some people that you instantly bond with? Well, Joe was one of those guys. (And let's face it - this is a pretty rare occasion in my rather closed off life). If I had more time I think he and I would have had some interesting times, showing me all of the real parts of Nice that tourists never see. I kept his card - I WILL look him up when I go back.

The hours we spent together were pretty amazing. Yes, we hit the tourist joints of Eze - an amazing enclave clinging to the side of the coast above Monaco - and through Monte Carlo. But he detoured to a different route back to Nice, through the chiseled hills that wind around the coastal communities. Not for the first time on this trip I thought my time in Geneva was such a waste! I could have spent days enjoying this amazing place on the earth. Ugh - next time.

Monaco is post card pretty. I only had a chance to see a few of the best sights. Oh yeah, and I ran into Prince Albert.

http://apartyofone.tumblr.com/post/173125069279/so-i-was-strolling-around-in-front-of-the-royal

Joe had a tour group booked in the evening but he pointed to his favorite restaurant, on the main square of old town Nice. I gave Joe's name to the restaurant host.....and I found myself at the best table in the place. The owner came out and trying to speak English grasped my hand. I took that to mean that any friend of Joe is welcome! He left a carafe of his house wine and so the meal began. I didn't even order. Out came this amazing fresh grouper served on saffron rice. All day I started to understand the relationship to north Africa, just across the Med. Now the spices in the foods were reflecting this complex cultural crossroads.

The sun had long gone down and the alleys of old town were dark - highlighted only by the numerous small restaurants tucked in the ancient buildings, tables spilling outside with bursts of sounds and songs. In any other city I probably would have felt a little threatened or worried about the darkness; for some reason (maybe the wine?) I felt very safe as I wondered through the lanes. Finally my feet gave out on me - thank God I had invested in great walking shoes for this trip unlike Euro 17 - and I regretfully ended up at my hotel. I resolved I would be back for more - much more.

I lingered at the outdoor bar for another hour just reflecting on my day. Alas, didn't find a new friend that night. But as I had a crazy early day - travel day - it was just as well. I walked up to the roof top one last time and took pictures.

After packing for my long journey home I finally fell asleep - satisfied that I had made the most of this Euro journey.

++++++++++

I started the day on the roof of the hotel. I wanted some sun rise pictures over the beach and sea. I was sooooo blessed with the weather on this trip. Joe had told me that the previous FOUR WEEKS had been almost non stop rain. Glad that my only bad weather was in London - almost appropriate there.

I knew my travel day home was going to be hellish - it didn't disappoint.

9 AM - Train from Nice to Paris - thank god not on strike. The seatmates in my first class car were all Americans in a group tour. They were buzzing about how they found a pick pocket and outed her to the police.

3 PM - Arrive in Paris, the Gard Lyon Station. I had hoped to dine at the famous restaurant above the station. By the way - if you need to ever book travel in Europe I recommend this site: https://www.seat61.com/. It's the ultimate guide to train travel and more. He recommended this amazing art deco restaurant at the top of this legendary station. Alas.... there was no elevator to the restaurant. And me, stuck with my fucking heavy luggage, was not going to be trudging up 3 flights of stairs. Oh well, next time.

5 PM - Arrive at De Gaulle Airport for my trip back to the US. Check in was so easy compared to what we have to endure in the US. I felt every bit as safe flying out of Europe as with the heavy handed US TSA. Had an amazing pre flight meal - even the airport restaurants in France are superb - to use up my last Euros. Boarded right on time for Norweigen Air flight.

12:00 Midnight, JFK Airport. Slept most of the flight on this most comfortable airline and airplane. Most notable thing - I was on aisle seat with two young males in the middle and window seat. On a 9 hour flight they didn't move once - not to the bathroom or even for food/drink. Zombies? Maybe.

My kids S and C were there to pick me up. Neither one are great city/freeway drivers. But they decided to stay up late and team up to bring me home. I slept most of the 1:45 trip home.

And finally we were back. The longest time I had spent away from my home for....wow....maybe decades. I recall some long sales trips when I worked with Mattel a long time ago.

I was  happy physically to be home. Mentally? Not so much. This trip satisfied many questions for me, in many ways. I had wondered if my view of Paris especially was colored by a first time infatuation. No, my love for that place is set in stone. My mind is even more made up.

I suppose too my unhappiness - maybe desperation!? - of our current domestic political situation is driving me away. Even if that cunt Trump is tossed out in 2020 the devastation he has left has scarred this country. I don't really want to be a part of the damage control - not with the sunset of my life before me.

++++++++++++

What will I remember from Euro 2018? So much.

 The book scene in London was energizing.

 Exploring more of my love of WW2 history. 

Immersing myself in Paris. 

The cold hardness of Geneva.

The warmth - people,  places and things - of Nice. 

A glorious 18 day sojourn, filled with memories and pictures.

Solo travel isn't so bad. Especially in the few spots where it isn't so solo.

This trip has only encouraged me to renew my mind, body, spirit- and passport - for more trips to come.

[jishua-moved]

11 Questions

I was tagged by the lovely Miss Elli <3 @jieqs I hope you’ve been well, sweetie!

Thank you for the tag! ~~

So, you gotta answer the 11 questions, then make up your own 11 questions and tag other ppl.

I tag: @verngyu @baekbyun @suneokmin  @choco-seventeen @verngyu @mxxn-taeil @mimisgf @22wooji @wesaverockandroll  @ohhhappydae @swimmingfool @jeongahn @jeong-hanie @je0nghans @jeongguktm @wooziology @vitaminniedk @boovely @sparkleskwan @sapphire-scorpion @jamlessjisoo @@woozismonth @wonnmoo (asdfghj I tagged a lot of you cuz it’s been ages since I talked to most of you but I always see you on my dash and activity and just know that you guys are loved.)

Questions for you:

Have you met/plan to meet any of your online/tumblr friends?

Have you ever received or a sent a letter/photocard overseas?

What’s a great recipe you’d recommend? Or your favorite dish?

Scariest movie you've ever watched?

Best summer vacation you’ve been on?

Earliest childhood memory?

Plans for the last month of this year?

What do you want to be when you graduate and when do you graduate?

If you had all the money in the world, what would you do with it?

If you were offered a position of an actress in svt’s mv, what would your reaction be, how would you act, etc and would you even take it?

Some good advice for someone going through hardships, depression, anxiety, etc?

My answers to @jieqs ‘s questions are below the cut!

1. What are three favorite photos you have of your bias(es)?

I have them all under my fave tag!

2. If you were able to lucid dream (be in control of your dreams), what would you do?

I actually have had some lucid dreams and omg they were sooooo incredible but I don’t think I've ever been in control. If I could be I'd actually make sure to stay asleep until the dream is over because I always wake up at the most interesting part xD

3. Do you wear your shoes inside the house?

Nope, but I do wear slippers most of the time unless I'm wearing socks. Then I only wear slippers if I go into the bathroom or to the kitchen.

4. On days you don’t have to go out and can stay home, do you change into anything or something different than what you slept in?

Also nope. I sleep in my pajamas and I stay home in them. I’m just too lazy asdfgas and never felt the need to change into sleeping clothes/stay at home clothes. I feel like I will do it once I'm married tho lol.

5. Give me an opinion about socks.

Socks are great cuz I'm legit always cold so I have to wear socks to stay warm, esp during my period but I cannot sleep in them whatsoever.

6. Is there a certain routine you do that you think nobody else does? (Example: I usually warm up salsa (I don’t even eat salsa aksljgksjl))

ajhdsgahs I'm not that special. I had to sit here for a solid 15 mins to come up with something... I wake up every day before sunrise to pray *shrugs* that’s all i got, man.

7. What other fandoms are you in? Have you left any?

I’m into gaming and that’s probably the only solid fandom I've been in since forever.

As for the ones I left or am in and out of (sorta) : the hunger games, teen wolf, the maze runner, taylor swift, game of thrones, the vampire diaries, scream queens, reign, marvel, etc, etc

Recent fandoms I joined/am into currently: stranger things, buzzfeed unsolved

8. Gush about a favorite person or character!

Let’s go with person cuz she’s the one who popped into my head as soon as I saw this question.

She’s something special, literally. She’s super smart, wise, beautiful, has an interesting sense of humor and a voice of an angel. She has an impressive amount of skills and hobbies, can handle legit anything you throw at her. Is one of the most patient people I know. Always has some good advice/solution for you. Strong. Inside and out. Has a heart of gold and even though she can mess up sometimes and maybe not care as much as you want her to but she will try because she does care even if she’s bad at showing it sometimes... If that makes any sense at all.

She’s someone who drives me crazy half of the time but someone I always come back to because I love her with all of my heart... And every time I have a solid conversation with her I am reminded how much I really love her. My complete opposite who never fails to surprise me with her softness. My weakness. Someone I already miss a lot ;-;

9. If you could do anything right now, what would it be?

Go to the national library with my irl bff ;-; We really wanna see those damn books.

10. If your room has windows, do you prefer the shades/blinds/curtains covering the windows or not at all?

I have curtains in my room currently but I don’t really stay up there. I’d definitely prefer curtains in my house or like automatic blinds with a remote.

11. You’re suddenly your bias(es)’ guardian angel for the day! What are you protecting them from or guiding them to do?

who is even my bias? *shrugs* let’s go with Josh then. I’d protect him from simple accidents, harm, etc. The usual since he’s not clumsy or anything and I'd protect him from feeling inner loneliness, making him realize of his self-worth and whatnot. I would guide him to speak up more, interact more, bring him out of his shell and stuff like that. Because Joshua is usually very quiet and doesn’t receive as much attention as some of the other members (imo idk) . And he’s got so much talent and potential and I really hope he can show more of it someday.

[team-target]

Small Pup Playlist (and what I have to say about the songs)

I made a playlist for @pupspit (I await your own playlist!) I love dat hipster shit... https://open.spotify.com/user/12121736443/playlist/5NT6E4Y7Ad4qn1I90wmDCQ 1. Mew - Witness: You got me into Mew (and I thank you so much for that!) and they’ve become one of my favs. +- is the album I first listened to, so here’s one from it. 2. Dude York - Long Distance Christmas: An awesome Seattle band that I have to see live at some point. This is from their new EP. 3. Diet Cig - Sleep Talk: This band is adorable! Probably the most adorable band I’ve ever seen. Their new album is pretty good, but this is from their previous album. 4. Why? - Fatalist Palmistry: My friend Molly and I had an agreement where I’d buy tickets for her to see her favourite band and vice versa. We saw Why? in Berkley a few months ago and they’re amazing. Alopecia is the best album to start with. 5. Tacocat - Horse Grrls: Another awesome band from Seattle. I got to see them live, and I met the singer Emily. She gave me a copy of their new album and she liked my Target hat, so I love her now... 6. Chromatics - Cherry: I’ve played this song a lot this year. It was randomly on my YouTube feed and I really dug it. Great night driving/hookah song. 7. Matthew Sweet - I’ve Been Waiting: Got to see him live a few months ago too. His songs are sooooo 90s, but they’re all great. Fun fact: the music video to this song introduced me to Lum. <3 8. Eels - Fresh Feeling: I looked up this band after listening to Novocaine For The Soul. They’re pretty cool. This was my favourite find, another great late night driving song. 9. that dog. - Being With You: I only know of these girls because Weezer were discovered opening for them. However Retreat From The Sun is an amazing album beginning to end. I know I’ve told you to check them out a few times, but they’re so good! 10. Real Estate - Darling: From their new album. Again, another great night driving song. Every song these guys do is great to chill out to. Talking Backwards is my fav from them. 11. Honeyblood - Gangs: Discovered these girls from KEXP (always looking to Seattle). I’ve heard both of their albums and it’s all really good. I like the harder sound from Babes Never Die, tho. 12. Winter - All The Things You Do: Samira Winter is perfect. She combines Dinosaur Jr. with Grimes and MBV. I’ve just started to listen to her, so this is my only recommendation ATM. 13. Cursive - The Recluse: This was recommended to me by Spoofy. I don’t know anything about this band, but I dig this song a lot....enough to put it on my show. 14. Weezer - Sweet Mary: IT’S NEW WEEZER......NEED I SAY MORE?!?!?!? 15. Crowded House - Fall At Your Feet: Honestly one of my all-time favs. Neil Finn is a God, and he’s probably written 9/10 of the most romantic songs ever written. 16. Figmennt - She: Another KEXP find. They’re a British shoegaze band. I’ve only heard three songs from them, but it’s all good so far! This is probably my fav. 17. Alvvays - Plimsoll Punks: I’VE WAITED THREE FUCKING YEARS FOR THIS ALBUM! WORTH THE WAIT!!! 18. Republic Tigers - Merrymake It With Me: I’ve recommended these guys to you for sure. They only released two EPs and one album, but boy are they great! This is the last thing they put out. 19. Clutch - A Shogun Named Marcus: A Beavis and Butthead discovery! Then I found out my friends Will and Adam love this band! They’re a lot like Butthole Surfers to me. 20. Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr. - Nothing But Our Love: Another one of my all-time favourite songs. Another YouTube recommendation. They had the best band name ever. 21. Big Troubles - MIsery: I only know this song from the show Good Vibes (funny as hell; watch that too). I know nothing else about this band. lol Great song tho. 22. Pavement - Harness Your Hopes: Pavement are awesome, but you already know that. The intro is very Smashing Pumpkins. 23. Little Racer - Vanessa: KEXP find again. Don’t know dick about the band, but I like this song a lot. 24. Grimes - Realiti: I’m kind of iffy on Grimes in general, but I absolutely adore this song. Hey, guess what? It’s another great night driving song. 25. The Naked And Famous - Young Blood: This was a big hit a few years ago. The band is 50/50 for me, but this is a great song. 26. La Sera - Break My Heart: Another of my favs. It sounds so much like Blondie! Katy Goodman is Queen Bee. 27. Analog Rebellion - Nothing Is Wrong: KEXP FTW. Full Frontal has the best album cover ever. I’ve only heard bits and pieces from this band, but it’s all pretty good. 28. The Notwist - Consequence: Before the Why? show, the theater was playing a bunch of random songs. This was one of them. I adore this song. It’s the most romantic song (not written by Neil Finn) I’ve ever heard. They’re amazing, highly recommend! 29. The Crüxshadows - Deception: My friend Will used this song as his character’s theme in a vampire game. I don’t know anything else from the band, but this is an awesome song. 30. Gotye - Eyes Wide Open: Something That I Used To Know is a great song, but the whole album that it’s on (Making Mirrors) is really good. Like, 10/10 good! 31. Foals - Mountain At My Gates: My friend Adam introduced this band to me. So far it’s pretty good! Check out the video for this song.....it’s crazy! 32. The High Curbs - Want: KEXP, you magnificent bastards! Their first few albums sound like shit (recording-wise) but their new shit’s fucking awesome! 33. Ducktails - Letter of Intent: My favourite night driving song. This song just makes me think of San Francisco. I wish this song wouldn’t end. The album is pretty good too. 34. Interpol - Anywhere: I needed to end the playlist with something great, so here’s Interpol. I wish I had 1/25 of Paul Bank’s writing prowess. 

[zoetekohana]

So, I finally watched Suicide Squade. A few thoughts...

Honestly, who was in charge of editing this film? Why did this film start with two scenes of Deadshot and Harley in Belle Rev prison? It was so unnecessary since not long after that Amanda Waller introduces them (with flashback scenes) as she list the members she wants to assemble for her Task Force. It’s so misplaced and unnecessary. They should have left those scenes out... 

Another weird editing choice: Right after Amanda says Harley is crazier and more fearless than the Joker, J drives the car into the water and Harley screams she can’t swim. That’s really crazy and fearless alright. (Not saying that she should want J to drive the car into the water even though she can’t swim. I’m saying that no one is more psychotic than J. And that again the editing is so off.)

I do like the comic book feel of this film, but why is it so dark? Really, I hope that after the success of Wonder Woman the following DCEU films learn from it and use more colour.

This film has great casting, though. Especially Viola Davis as Amanda Waller, such an a+ choice. Margot Robbie, Will Smith and Jay Hernandez were good choices as well. And surprisingly Jai Courtney is actually acting good for once? I like him as Captain Boomerang?  Well, mostly great casting. I do not like Cara Delevingne as Enchantress. What is up with the hip and arm swaying? I can’t stop laughing. And Joel Kinnaman is so stiff, sorry to say.

But too bad the script doesn’t do this cast justice... Like wtf, why would Enchantress, after inhabiting June Moon’s body, not take her heart herself? Waller says they went to the cave where she turned up and found the heart. THIS MAKES NO SENSE WTF. 

Also, I’m already calling it, Enchantress will go rogue on Amanda after all and be the main villain. Too much emphasis on her being the strongest metahuman and Amanda “controlling” her.

I like how Echantress transformed with the handholding of her and June. 

And she’s already eyeing her heart...

This is too obvious.

I really couldn’t care less about the Rick/June romance. 

The special effects for El Diablo are amazing.

I have such mixed feelings when it comes to Leto’s portrayal of the Joker. At times it’s so spot-on and then there are moments where it’s “Yeah, you tried too hard.” (Then I remember all the recounts of Leto being actually crazy, and then I’m all nope, don’t like.) His Joker laugh sucks, though. Like what is it? It sounds more like he’s choking on laugh gas?

And I was right. Enchantress is the big bad. This was too transparent.

“Rescue HVT-1.” “What is that?” “The only person that matters. The one person you can’t kill.” Sooooo they can kill every other innocent soul? And if HVT-1 is so important, why not mention a name and/or show a picture?  This script and dialogue, I can’t...

Katana is AWESOME! This film could have used more of her. (Like why did they not explain why she’s helping Waller and Flag?)

So what was the purpose of Slipknot? He just climbed a wall and got wiped out by that killerapp. He had like five minutes of screentime? And iic he was in all the promo’s, but ultimately he was just “Slipknot who can climb anything.”  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Should have seen that coming after his intro: “He can climb anything.” Big whoop?

I personally prefer watching a romance between Flag/Deadshot over Flagg/Moon.

I really cannot stop laughing at those weird squiggly dance moves Enchantress performs. Hahaha, who thought this was a good idea?

“You mind if we tag along?” Why would Rick say this to Deadshot? What even? You put a killerapp in his neck, he is forced to tag along with you.

So the HVT-1 was Waller. I should have seen that coming, but nonetheless I like that twist.

But why do they rescue her only to put her on a chopper without escorting her? I just do not get that logic. Such a lame set-up to have her taken by Enchantress so she could restore her heart. 

“With my heart returned I can finish my weapon. Now tell me how to destroy your armies.” How to destroy your armies... How.... With the weapon you’re going to finish perhaps?

Why did Harley check her neck after Rick destroys the killerapp device? Her nanites were shut off earlier.

Why not show what Katana and Boomerang’s visions that Echantress is showing them?

YES! EL DIABLO FIGHTING FOR ACTUAL GOOD IS SO AWESOME.

And of course he self-sacrifices himself after he so quickly loses his upperhand on the brother. That “impact” fell flat, which is too bad because I really loved Diablo and his character arc. :(

Also, of course Enchantress’s weapon is the typical light sky beam. 

Wait, how did June survive?

I do love Deadshot’s storyline with his daughter.

The “Heathens” song by Twenty One Pilots is a great choice for the end credits roll. 

Wait, why does Bruce need the metahuman file from Waller? He already knew about Flash and Aquaman in BvS (those were the pages they focused on, aside from Echantress).

Whatever happened to that security guard who had to pass the phone from Joker to Harley? 

There’s also too much focus on just Harley and Deadshot? I get that they're more fan favs and are portrayed by the two more famous actors, but still... it's an ensemble cast. I would have loved to get more insight on the other characters. 

This film.... really, it could have been great, I get what they were going for, but the writing is ultimately too messy and such poor execution (I assume there was executive meddling?). 

[sabergowitz]

GHD

Groundhog Day Broadway reaction post!!!! I’ve been waiting to see it for like a year and a half, and boy howdy do I like this show. I saw one preview, opening night, and once front row! General thoughts, plus a section at the bottom for opening night specifically (aka me stressing unnecessarily about his injury)

Disclaimer one: I wrote about spoilers, stuff I like, stuff I don’t like, staging, the whole nine. largely show-chronological. may not make sense to you unless you’ve seen the show

Disclaimer two: I wrote this on a bus in the middle of the night so it is not the most coherent. 

tl;dr all the people who say “i’m too busy literally spinning on bill murray’s dick to even consider seeing this show” can suck my fucking toe

ACT I

one of the screens in the beginning shows phil talking about the weather on mars? wot is tha abah

that beginning-of-frozen/come from away swag in ‘there will be sun’, that mountain sound. one of the reviewers pointed this out too

I saw one of the reviewers say that not one song was memorable to them after the show??? I don’t know what they were smoking, because I’ve had ‘day one’/””””small town usa”””” stuck in my head since I first saw it

the punxsutawney jingle is so disneyland-ready it’s scary

barrett never enunciates "flood" story. the first time I heard it I was like "blood story? wat"

Also re: barrett -- she fits the character so well and I LOVE her singing voice!!! I think her acting is mostly In Service Of andy, which, duh -- but I’d like her to (and I have confidence she will) make it her own/a little more individual/idiosyncratic. Just the three performances I’ve seen I think she’s growing into it/getting more comfy :3

the "with a kiss- twist!" gets a little laugh, but following it up with "/fuck/" just tickles me every time hehe

love how the point they freeze at in ‘there will be sun’ is right before the sunrise/"oh if i could i'd will these clouds away" stuff - which all happens once phil is freed, and he watches the sunrise with rita :')

I LOVE ned’s chopped and screwed jingle on the third go around. it's like five seconds but it's so good at setting the mood. I am Frankly Appalled that the jingle isn’t on the cast recording, you don’t get the full impact of ‘night will come’ then

did not see ned’s pedo stache on my first two viewings, it grrrrosses me out and is not even ghd-movie-canonical, why this

the drunk driving joke always gets a big laugh which makes me a bit uncomfy

‘nobody cares’ is so FUCKING good. I esp like "shoot some cans, crack some cans, shoot the breeze". I wish they’d perform it at the tonys but alas….

… okay an Aside for tonys performance thoughts: I’d love them to perform ‘nobody cares’ but it would kind of waste andy and I feel like they’d want him prominent. Plus the big car is run on the turntables, which they wouldn’t have on that stage, but maybe they could just block it differently. ‘hope’ would obviously be fucking incredible but I think it’s too Dark and staging-complicated for the tonys. I have a feeling we’re gonna get ‘if I had my time again’ which is fffffine but a little generic for my taste. Obviously the solution is ‘seeing you’, pls. okay moving on (ETA: they are apparently doing a medley that includes one of the Days. I am Nervous about this choice)

still don’t know how they do the bag blowing across the stage so well in ‘philanderer’! I don’t see a string or anything and it blows so realistically

also, important note: when he goes behind the door with nancy and is making ~sex noises~, he is actually in real time also thrusting/writhing up on her, I saw it with my eyes lordy lou

"me, in all my finery! and you, in your - practical attire!" makes me laugh EVERY time I just love how andy delivers it

the shining armor masturbation joke never lands and I think barrett have given up on trying to telegraph it super clearly haha

"same! that is my favorite drink!" handonchest.jpeg

rita's constant response to phil’s sleaziness is "grow up" -- which, I understand that is what they're trying to push thematically for phil? but like grown ass men aren't doing gross ass shit every day???

“for me modesty is second only to humility" is the laugh line for me but "my humility is legend" always gets it

in ‘one day’ when rita sings “metrosexual”, phil points to himself like “me? why you gotta call me out wtf”

in the snowball fight scene, once when rita’s turned away, phil turns to the kids and mouths “FUCK OFF” with hand gestures, I screamed

love how phil’s “fictional man” hits at the same time as rita’s “actual man”, and they’re both right, and they’re both wrong

ACT II

okay ‘playing nancy’. I see what they were going for with this song, but I think we can all agree that “it’s better to be leered at than not desired at all” is A Bad Take, Greg. whatever, none of the reviewers like this song either, it gives people time to get back to their seats ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ not only is the content strange, but it’s kind of boring musically/melodically too. also I think it’s fucky that they have nancy be a sympathetic character for “taking what men give her”, but shit on rita’s ‘one day’ farm girl for doing the same thing? idk, I haven’t really unpacked all my thoughts about it but it’s not keeping me up at night. they tried, they largely got there, whatevs

the shooting scene before ‘hope’ was so shocking to me when I first saw it, but ‘hope’ itself was just thrilling and exciting. music fixes everything I guess

I love ‘everything about you’, it really struck me in the sternum the first time I saw the show. I’m a BIG sucker for very simplistic imagery communicating larger ideas of love or death or whatever (see also: underwater from caroline or change, origin of love from hedwig and the angry inch)

also “you thought jesus was going to appear from the dark” in your bedroom is totally ripped from the headlines of tim minchin’s life (right? I remember a very similar anecdote from an interview of his) ETA: YES

‘if i had my time again’ is fun and fine!! for me there’s not enough blocking/telegraphing of phil ~truly falling for~ rita. you get some of it in the tilt-a-whirls but it’s pretty hard to follow visually. this song is like a slightly less effective ‘when you’re home’? “feels like you’re showing me around your hometown”, yanno.

“and I would be a lot more zen” immediately followed by “and I would punch a lot of men” same girl

also phil holds the hot dog for SO LONG in this song, I didn’t realize. like for more than half of the song he’s holding this hot dog rita handed to him near the beginning ahahaha

andy karl gets the tony award for best coat-ography, whipping that shit around his shoulders twenty times a show

ned ryerson’s ballad about death is one of my favorite songs, which is a sentence tim minchin made me type with my own two goddamn hands. and john sanders sings it sooooo well I love it. (I like him singing it live better than some of the vocal choices he made on the cast recording)

if I think too hard about what phil is actually doing?? or trying to accomplish?? during that moment it fucks me up so hard. sisyphian 4 real

also the staging at the end of the number, phil (who is dark) following in step behind ned (who is lit) fuck meeee

‘philanthropy’ is the most joyous I have ever been in a theater fight me

also vishal did the whole number and then came back on and was supes sweaty in a tuxedo plus coat, poor thing

and then when all the sound is sucked out of the room and seeing you kicks in I’m d o n e :’’’’’’’’))))))))))

when the final scene comes around and it was clear he had been freed, a lady behind me scoffed and said too loud, “he’s broken out of it now. watch.” and I was like DEBORAH WE’RE ALL AWARE OF THE MOVIE your insight is not necessary pipe down pls

matthew warchus has a talent for ending shows with lovely simple artistic vignettes (ms honey and matilda cartwheeling towards a tiny house, phil and rita with their arms around each other bathed in sunrise) :’)

OPENING NIGHT

maybe it was just me because i had too much coffee beforehand? but I think during the first half I/the audience, plus andy himself, were a little tense/stiff/high strung? not quite ~in the groove~. it is a very anxiety-inducing first half to be fair. (plus it was literally opening night, so.) some of the audience was v aware he was injured: at one point putting on his shoes he almost slipped off the bed platform and a bunch of people gasped/winced. I swear I saw him at one point (when he was stage left, not in the spotlight yet) wave off “no im fine” to someone in the wings. I took deep breaths during intermission to zen out tho, and once he nailed ‘hope’ I was like pshaw we good

he was not quiiiite limping but almost. was stiff. at "with what a dixie cup" I saw him like ~hobbling off the stage :( and he was pulling his punches somewhat with the physical comedy, but I only knew that because I saw him do it at full strength at the preview. I don't think it was obvious to first timers. he didn't go Full Loony Slapstick Panic Attack, it was more like real ass nervous and Stressed, which just made ME stressed because I didn't know if he was struggling injury wise or not

he really gave his all in the slick dancing of ‘philandering’ tho. and everyone was cheering him on, it was great

“one lonely people? c’mon...” *extends his leg with knee brace up onto a diner stool, gestures to it, massages his thigh, literally two distinct applause breaks* “aren't you even curious?”

he kept bending down as the snowball fight scene warrants and I was like BUDDY PLS

in ‘hope’ “there will be mornings you’ll be utterly defeated by your laces” got LAUGHS, I was upset. but people gave crazy cheers each time he woke up again. he just crushed it like fuckin YEAH

when the bell chimes started in for philanthropy my heart rate skyrocketed. instead of doing a silly gangly full on sprint like he did uninjured, he did like, tiny running? in the style of a powerwalker? it was still very comedic and good

‘seeing you’: he broke down/cracked a bit on “I know nothing” and paused, looked upstage, looked at barrett, looked out at the audience, and continued. READER I CRIED

[ninjacupcake333]

I was tagged

by the wonderful user @peaceful-waldeinsamkeit (thanks for the tag! :D)

Rules: Answer all the questions, then add one of your own, and tag as many people as there are questions

1) Coke or Pepsi?: I feel like I’m the only person who has never had a preference regarding this debate, I like them both

2) Disney or Dreamworks?: That’s tough…………honestly I love them both equally, I can’t decide!!! >3<

3) Coffee or Tea?: COFFEE!!! I drink two cups a day and I’m actually really REALLY moody without it, like honestly, I am a bitch without coffee (ask my brother)

4) Books or Movies?: Books, Hollywood always screws things up imho

5) Windows or Mac?: I’ve never used a Mac sooooo Windows

6) D.C. or Marvel?: I don’t read a lot of comics, but when it comes to movies and show I’ve never really seen any DC ones (besides like…..batman and suicide squad and teen titans which I adore), so although I adore teen titans I have to go with Marvel cuz I’ve seen more from them 

7) Xbox or PlayStation?: Don’t play a lot of games, but I’d have to go with Playstation. Gotta love kingdom hearts guys. Plus I just bought a PS4 so I could play FF15 soooooooooooo

8) Dragon age or mass effect?: ……..i’veneverplayedeither…………..I’ve heard they’re good though, would people recommend this??? (cuz I have the PS4 now so I could play them if I wanted I think)

9) Night Owl or Early Riser?: Night owl. If I have nothing to do the next day I’ll stay up til 3 and wake up late in the afternoon

10) Cards or Chess?: I don’t do a lot of either, but I play cards more, and I’m REALLY bad at chess (despite my brother saying I’m really good at chess, which whenever I play I usually have no idea what I’m doing soooooo)

11) Chocolate or Vanilla?: Chocolate. I’m like that guy from Spongebob. I’m the girl that buys those pound-of chocolate bars at Trader Joe’s whenever I get the chance and eats it within a week

12) Vans or Converse? I wear converse literally every day. Even when they get destroyed they’re comfortable!

13) Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar?: ………..uh…….gesundheit?

14) Fluff or Angst?: I’m honestly not sure……fluff I guess? it’s cute sometimes, and angst just makes me feel bad

15) Beach or Forest?: atm I’d have to say forest, I did a LOT of hiking when I was in Japan and it was amazing, but whenever I go to the beach anymore I just end up sitting in the sand doing nothing. I don’t really swim anymore

16) Dogs or Cats? Yes

17) Clear Skies or Rain? Clear skies, rain makes me REALLY tired

18) Cooking or Eating Out? I can’t cook, but I also don’t like spending money, so neither I guess? though eating out has the social aspect to it, so if I HAD to pick one I’d say eating out if it was with friends

19) Spicy or Mild Food? Mild, I don’t handle spicy well……

20) Halloween/Samhain or Solstice/Yule/Christmas? THIS IS HALLOWEEN, THIS IS HALLOWEEN (goes off into song)

21) Would You Rather Forever Be A Little Too Cold Or A Little Too Hot?: A little too cold, my thermostat’s usually really low so that’s basically my reality anyways

22) If You Could Have A Superpower What Would It Be?:  I’ve heard legit arguments against this, but despite that, I’d wanna be able to read minds. Not all the time, but in like….a controlled sense. Like read a certain person’s mind at a certain time, but be able to shut it off when I want so I don’t have a stream of incoming thoughts from people. Mostly cuz I’m really bad at being able to tell when someone’s joking about something or picking up on context clues(like REALLY BAD) so that would help a lot, plus I get really paranoid about what people actually think about me (AND IT WOULD HELP WITH MY CURRENT CRUSH SITUATION THAT’S DRIVING ME CRAZY ATM CUZ MY CRUSH EITHER CAN’T MAKE UP HIS GODDAMN MIND OR JUST DOESN’T WANT TO AND IT’S DRIVING ME CRAZY CUZ I CAN’T TELL WHAT HE’S THINKING) I would never actually use it against anyone, I just want it so I can freakin relax for once when it comes to being social

23) Animation or Live Action?: Animation. Bout sums that up

24) Paragon or Renegade?: ……………………..what does that mean? pertaining to what exactly? is this a reference? I’m confused.......

25) Bath or Shower?: Shower, I don’t have time for baths (though I have to say I HAVE been wanting to try bath bombs, they look fun....)

26) Team Cap or Team Iron-Man?: (don’t kill me dad) Iron man. Idk why but something has always bugged me about Captain America’s character, and I love the Iron man movies more than the Captain America ones, so Iron man (SORRY DAD SPARE ME >3<)

27) Fantasy or Sci-Fi?: Fantasy, sci fi doesn’t really catch my interest as much. It does sometimes, but I always end up liking fantasy stories better

28) Do You Have Three or Four Favorite Quotes If So What Are They?: also something I’ve never really thought about……..

Well I can’t remember the exact wording, but I guess my favorite quote would have to be “Growing old is mandatory, growing up isn’t”

And I guess if I’m choosing more than one, my second one would be lyrics from a song by Icon for Hire “You didn’t shoot for the moon just to hit the stars” (from their song “Demons”)

I don’t really have any others though tbh, if I find any others or think of any I’ll edit

29) YouTube or Netflix?: I watch a loooooooooot of markiplier and game grumps, so youtube

30) Harry Potter or Percy Jackson?: YES

31) When Do You Feel Accomplished?: When I complete something that I’ve been wanting to do for a while. I never feel motivated to do anything anymore, so those moments where I do actually get motivated enough to pick myself up from off my couch and like….draw something, or read something, or play something that I’ve been wanted to for a while, it’s not much but it’s a good feeling

32) Star Wars or Star Trek?: neither (PLEASE DON’T KILL ME)

I’ve never watched Star Trek, and I had a kiiiiiiind of bad experience getting into Star Wars (thing with an ex, nothing really bad, just uncomfortable) so I never really got into it further

33) Paperback Books or Hardcover Books?: Hardcover. They’re just so much nicer! Plus I always end up bending the covers of paperbacks cuz I carelessly pack them when I wanna take them with me places....

34) Fantastic Beasts or Cursed Child?: I haven’t actually read/seen fantastic beasts yet so I can’t answer this. My brother got me the book for Christmas, but I haven’t gotten to reading it yet, and I haven’t had time to watch the movie. I HAVE read Cursed Child though

35) Rock or Pop Music? I’m in a rock band so if I didn’t say rock I’d feel like a heathen

36) What Is The Most Important Thing In Your Life?: musiiiiiiiiiic. it’s been a HUGE part of my life since 4th grade when I first started playing flute/when my dad first gave me fall out boy’s “from under the cork tree”/ green day’s “american idiot”. I went to an arts school for instrumental music and everything!

37) Mountains or Sea/Ocean?: going back to the hiking thing, mountains

38) How Do You Express Yourself?: …………….going back to the motivation thing, I can never bring myself to do the things that would best help me express myself……….I’m awful >3< though I’d have to say either drawing or playing an instrument (lately bass guitar) would be the ways I express myself best when I actually try

39) What’s The First Book/Film That Really Counted To You?: Probably Percy Jackson tbh. It’s the first series I’ve read that I stuck with for as long as I have

40) What’s Your Element (Ar, Water, etc.)?: FIRE!!! I literally wear a bracelet/necklace everyday with the alchemic symbol for fire on them

41) If You Could Travel Anywhere, Where Would You Go?: Either back to Japan (CUZ I FUCKIN LOVE JAPAN OMG) or like……I’d love to go to Paris or Italy tbh

42) If you had any job in the world, what would it be?: My UNREALISTIC dream job is to be in a famous band as the bassist, I love just being able to play with my friends and if I could make a living off of that, that would be amazing

My REALISTIC dream job is to teach Japanese.  I’ve always loved the idea of being a teacher, but I never knew for what subject, but when I started college I knew I wanted to teach foreign language. I started with french, but I ended up switching to japanese cuz i had more of a passion/interest in it.

43) If you were granted three wishes, what would they be?

1. WORLD FUCKING PEACE I MEAN SERIOUSLY HOW FUCKING HARD IS THAT

2. a bit selfish here, but for me to have enough resources to be able to live comfortably

3. for everyone else to be able to do so as well

44) If You Had To Eat One Food For The Rest Of Your Life, What Would It Be?: Literally any kind of pasta. That’s all I ate as a kid and I still freaking love it

45) What’s Your Spirit Animal/Patronus?: According to Pottermore, my patronus is a black mamba

I REALLY DO BELONG IN SLYTHERIN!!!! 

46) Would You Kill Yourself And Save Your Friends or Kill Your Friends and Save Yourself?: Uhhhh probably myself to save my friends, that’d be fine

47) If You Had To Become A Mythical Creature Which Would You Be? Now THIS I’ve definitely never thought of……um……I meaaaaaaaaan……I guess if I HAD to choose I’d go with elf probably. That’d be cool

NEW! 48) If you could have one thing in the world right now, what would it be?

I don’t actually know/follow 48 people, so I’m just gonna tag people that I know well IRL (you guys don’t actually have to do it if you don’t want ^^;;;;;)

@dreamer-21 @prince-of-pineapples @phantomcat94 @facheux-grantaire @kingkuroko11 @thenerdwholeaptthroughtime @dasteacup @orangeincubator @kastanas

[starsburnouttoo]

boring tag

because of @kitkatdana​

1. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR CLOSET DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED? I close them, i’m OCD about all the doors in my room.

2. DO YOU TAKE THE SHAMPOOS AND CONDITIONER BOTTLES FROM HOTELS? I probably have, honestly don’t remember.

3. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR SHEETS TUCKED IN OR OUT? I have a sheet too big for my bed so its wrapped around kinda weirdly and never comes undone. (life hack?)

4. HAVE YOU STOLEN A STREET SIGN BEFORE? No because what would I do with it? I mean, I’d hang up a stop sign on my bedroom door maybe but that might be too cliche?

5. DO YOU LIKE TO USE POST-IT NOTES? I like to make small notes and I like to write things out in my notebook but post-it notes specifically? nah, not really.

6. DO YOU CUT OUT COUPONS BUT THEN NEVER USE THEM? I take the whole page and just rip out the coupon I end up using.

7. WOULD YOU RATHER BE ATTACKED BY A BIG BEAR OR A SWARM OF BEES? Big bear because it’s only one and I feel like they’d be easier to out run than a whole swarm of bees. Also at least with a bear it’s a quicker death, with a swarm of bees I’m not even sure i’d day. 

8. DO YOU HAVE FRECKLES? Nope, I have a lot of moles/beauty marks though.

9. DO YOU ALWAYS SMILE FOR PICTURES? I do because I don’t want to look back at a photo and regret the facial expression I made -- it happens a lot surprisingly.

10. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? I... don’t know? I don’t like when I get blamed for stuff that isn’t my fault? 

11. DO YOU EVER COUNT YOUR STEPS WHEN YOU WALK? I don’t actually count but I think about how, like, “this room is only about 20 steps from mine.” and that sort of stuff.

12. HAVE YOU PEED IN THE WOODS? No... I don’t go into the woods?

13. HAVE YOU EVER POOPED IN THE WOODS? I literally do not go in the woods and the few times I have gone camping their were restrooms for this stuff.

14. DO YOU EVER DANCE EVEN IF THERES NO MUSIC PLAYING? All the timeeeee I can’t seem to be still, I’ll move from side to side a lot or bob my head or do that shoulder beat thing, ya feel? 

15. DO YOU CHEW YOUR PENS AND PENCILS? So, I chew on those pen caps from those pens that are clear and only have a blue cap? they’re like hard plastic? I feel like they’re in the top 3 most used pens... but I like to chew on those caps specifically, other than that no.

16. HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH THIS WEEK? Okay so literally slept with only one but like sex? hehe ;) I’m a virgin.

17. WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED? twin but that was because I have a bunk bed. i’m buying a queen soon :D

18. WHAT IS YOUR SONG OF THE WEEK? Song of the week... uhm... okay so “Trapdoor” by Twenty One Pilots is really good but also “I Hate U I Love U” by Gnash because mood.

19. IS IT OK FOR GUYS TO WEAR PINK? Yes, honey do what makes you happy. You like the color? wear it. You want to make a point that men can wear pink? do it. You want to support breast cancer? love it. you just couldn’t find another shirt to go with your new jeans? you look so good! I love it, wear the hell out of pink.

20. DO YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS? Actively? No... I watch a lot of anime from time to time, though... which, ya know, animated cartoons are still animated cartoons. Toe-may-toe toe-mah-toe.

21. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MOVIE? Least favorite? err I hate every scary movie to have ever existed but I also can’t find it in me to like anything from harry potter, star trek, star wars, lord of the rings.... those series.

22. WHERE WOULD YOU BURY HIDDEN TREASURE IF YOU HAD SOME? my grandpa owns two mountains... I won’t say where... you never know if I’ll get treasure worth hiding, my guy.

23. WHAT DO YOU DRINK WITH DINNER? tea, literally any kind of tea.

24. WHAT DO YOU DIP A CHICKEN NUGGET IN? Ketchup, ranch, chick-fil-a sauce... yes.

25. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? Alright so I’m weird and I really love potato salad, like, no joke, but there was potato salad in my dream last night? I like cereal a lot, its so good, but I would die for oatmeal creme pies... devilled eggs...

26. WHAT MOVIES COULD YOU WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL LOVE? Okay any disney movie ever, but to specify I love Beauty and the beast, Mulan, Aladdin, Tangled, Frozen (I only saw it twice so it wasn’t killed for me, I genuinely like the characters), Anastasia.... yeah I like them all.

27. LAST PERSON YOU KISSED/KISSED YOU? Ugh okay so my last kiss was in 8th grade and yall know how those middle school relationships are all mistakes right? So yeah, it was this guy who was the pastors son at my church... his name is josh... he’s in college now... yeah. ew.

28. WERE YOU EVER A BOY/GIRL SCOUT? I went to the first meeting because my brother was going to the boy scouts meeting (he wanted to learn to use a pocket knife and tie cool knots) but the girls just sold cookies and i thought that was lame so... no.

29. WOULD YOU EVER STRIP OR POSE NUDE IN A MAGAZINE? I would strip but completely naked? Nah... do I get like a sheet to cover with or something? 

30. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A LETTER TO SOMEONE ON PAPER? Last week... I write thank you cards a lot (not that I give them out a lot because I feel like people would think I’m weird for thanking them for... like... i dunno... loving a similar band to me and having a nice conversation or something.)

31. CAN YOU CHANGE THE OIL ON A CAR? No but all my brothers can so I don’t need to know... hopefully...

32. EVER GOTTEN A SPEEDING TICKET? nope... because I’m learning to drive still.

33. EVER RAN OUT OF GAS? uh... no. I haven’t learned how to drive in the time span between this question and the last one.

34. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF SANDWICH? I really like subway because of their samiches. i couldn’t say any specifics because I like.... like, all sandwiches.

35. BEST THING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST? okay so breakfast tacos from Dans... oooooor cereal.... ooooooor breakfast tacos in general. oooooor Waffles from Jim’s because they put whipped cream, chocolate chips, chocolate drizzle, etc.

36. WHAT IS YOUR USUAL BEDTIME? my bedtime is 9 but anytime after 6 pm works too... if its later than 10 I’m suicidal.

37. ARE YOU LAZY? If I’m determined to get something done I will do it, just leave me alone and I’ll do it. but if I really just don’t want to do something or don’t care... yes. i’m so so so so lazy.

38. WHEN YOU WERE A KID, WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN? Okay so one year, and keep in mind this is the most embarrassing costume i remember, I dressed up as a party rocker based on the song party rock anthem... because I was extremely crazy about that song when I was like.... 11.

39. WHAT IS YOUR CHINESE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN? I’m a dragon my guy. but like...  hopefully a water dragon or ice dragon or earth dragon.. i don’t wanna be hot headed.

40. HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SPEAK? English.... and I passed Spanish....

41. DO YOU HAVE ANY MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS? I mean... I have none but my household has a ton and I like to take the Mens Health ones because none of my brothers want them and the cover guys are sooooo hot.

42. WHICH ARE BETTER: LEGOS OR LINCOLN LOGS? Legos by a long shot.

43. ARE YOU STUBBORN? Nah.. I mean if its a morals thing fuck yeah but if its like... “should we go to chick-fil-a” I’d be like “I kinda want chinese” and the someone would say “but I want chicken” so I’d be like “okay”

44. WHO IS BETTER: LENO OR LETTERMAN? Uh... you see.... I like the name Leno better than letterman but i dunno these people?

45. EVER WATCH SOAP OPERAS? No dude... like... if I did it would be more ironically... 

46. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? funny story but one time I thought I would die if I jumped off of the air vent that was outside my house... it’s like 3 feet tall... so yeah... anything above 3 feet scares me I guess. xD

47. DO YOU SING IN THE CAR? does satan’s name resemble santa’s? 

48. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER? almost alwayyyyyys... if I don;t i’m thinking hard or just in general talking to myself.

49. DO YOU DANCE IN THE CAR? Yes. Especially to the good songs. so... a lot.

50. EVER USED A GUN? Yes and i like pistols but the.... whats it called.... the force after you shoot a big gun that makes you jump back... yeah I don’t like that.

51. LAST TIME YOU GOT A PORTRAIT TAKEN BY A PHOTOGRAPHER? Okay so... no?

52. DO YOU THINK MUSICALS ARE CHEESY? I think that certain musicals are borderline obsessive with songs that just don’t go well for a serious mood... like, they’re too cheesy and annoying to be a good romantic song... but a lot of musicals are really well put together too.

53. IS CHRISTMAS STRESSFUL? Ugh, yes. I have 3 separate families to visit okay? Literally there is over 50 people to shop for and that’s not including friends and I’m unemployed so yes. yes it is. 

54. EVER EAT A PIEROGI? no.. I dunno what that is.

55. FAVORITE TYPE OF FRUIT PIE? pie is so gross but I like the topping of pecan pie.

56. OCCUPATIONS YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID? uhhhh I gotta list. here we go: chef, baker, singer, actress, model, pilot, therapist, vet, successful, talk show host, americas got talent judge (like... i reallllllllllly wanted to be a judge--- still do a looooooot but I have no fame so...)

57. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS? nah but I make jokes about them being around a lot.

58. EVER HAVE A DEJA-VU FEELING? ALL THE TIME except its not exactly like a full on minute of deja vu its like a hand motion or a sign I saw on the wall or someone saying something that I swear I’ve heard before.

59. DO YOU TAKE A VITAMIN DAILY? no but I did as a kid, especially when my mom bought the sour gummy ones.

60. DO YOU WEAR SLIPPERS? no but I wear sandals and socks around the house a lot.

61. DO YOU WEAR A BATH ROBE? no but I own, like, 2.

62. WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED? a t-shirts with literally anything ranging from jeans to leggings to yoga pants... etc.

63. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CONCERT? One Direction on September 21st, 2014 in Houston.... the arena was huge... a million girls and I got sick during the last song... whoops.

64. WALMART, TARGET, OR KMART? target....? 

65. NIKE OR ADIDAS? I wear so much nike stuff because its so comfortable but adidas shirts and jackets look hella comfortable.

66. CHEETOS OR FRITOS? cheetos my main dude. I had an on going joke with my little brother once when we were at a concession stand and I couldn’t see what was there and he was tall so he read to me, “cheetos... fritos... doritos... and sunchips” and we died laughing because of all the rhyming. 

67. PEANUTS OR SUNFLOWER SEEDS? I like the taste of sunflower seeds better but they’re so time consuming to open with so little food as a result that peanuts are just easier.

68. EVER HEAR OF THE GROUP TRES BIEN? Nah my guy. How about Three Days Grace? xD

69. EVER TAKE DANCE LESSONS? No but my spanish teacher had us learn a hispanic culture dance for one of our final projects. I had the cumbia.

70. IS THERE A PROFESSION YOU PICTURE YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE DOING? I don’t care as long as they’re enjoying what they do. 

71. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? like... taco? cause yeah?

72. EVER WON A SPELLING BEE? Okay so uhhh no but I went to this education festival thing and they had a spelling bee booth and I spelled the word they gave me wrong but I still won a reallllly nice notebook (as a writer I really do mean that) and it was the first notebook I ever filled up. (it lasted from march 8th, 2016 to November 11th, 2016.)

73. HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE YOU WERE SO HAPPY? Uh.... maybe? I dunno?

74. OWN ANY RECORD ALBUMS? No but they sound cool.

75. OWN A RECORD PLAYER? I have literally no idea whats in my garage. I doubt it.

76. DO YOU REGULARLY BURN INCENSE? Yes... I have like 20 in my room and I burn one every few days... or a candle...

77. EVER BEEN IN LOVE? Yeah.... yea...... uhhhh.... yeah. 

78. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN CONCERT? Twenty One Pilots, again, tbh, gnash, NF, and i’m sure there will be more in the future.

79. WHAT WAS THE LAST CONCERT YOU SAW? Troye Sivan on October 24th, 2016. 

80. HOT TEA OR COLD TEA? uhhhhh all tea, don’t discriminate. 

81. TEA OR COFFEE? both... but like tea.... is more appealing. 

82. SUGAR COOKIES OR SNICKERDOODLES? sugar cookies all the way.

83. CAN YOU SWIM WELL? i know how to swim.

84. CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH WITHOUT HOLDING YOUR NOSE? yeah

85. ARE YOU PATIENT? sometimes. if its something I wanna do then nah... but if its like... waiting for a friend to do something yeah.

86. DJ OR BAND AT A WEDDING? DJ... (I forgot to add this to the job list but I wanted to be a DJ once... and a break dancer once.)

87. EVER WON A CONTEST? I got 2nd place in an 80′s themed costume dance contest...??? I dunno.

88. HAVE YOU EVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY? yeah but it was to smooth out a few scars.

89. WHICH ARE BETTER: BLACK OR GREEN OLIVES? olives can burn in hell.

90. CAN YOU KNIT OR CROCHET? ahhhhhh I wish no.

91. BEST ROOM FOR A FIREPLACE? any room that gets cold??? 

92. DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED? only if my partner does but me??? yes.... yeah I’d loooooove to be able to call someone my partner for life and just have that assurance that they actually want to be with me...

93. IF MARRIED, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED? never... yet...

94. WHO WAS YOUR HIGH SCHOOL CRUSH? she actually might see this somehow so i won’t say the current one but I liked this girl name Olivia all through middle school until 9th grade... so you know? 

95. DO YOU CRY AND THROW A FIT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN WAY? Playfully? dramatically? but never seriously.

96. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? so I have 2, one is named Pikachu and one is named Bruce Banner... or Willis... or Wayne.. whatever you want for Bruce.... they’re small.... and precious... and chihuahuas.

97. DO YOU WANT KIDS? I don’t want to give birth, I want a ton of kids though so... well see?

98. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? I like maroon... and purple... and blue... and black.... silver... white.... yeah.

99. DO YOU MISS ANYONE RIGHT NOW? nah.... not really.

100. WHO ARE YOU GOING TO TAG TO DO THIS VIDEO NEXT? its not even a video but uhhh @sweatersnshades @depressedtopramen @guacnroll @ashlapash579 @sleeping--light @beverlynotcleary @pups-art @stark-nakedness because all of yall are my fave accounts and some of the coolest people I’ve got to see.... yeah :D

[whathelluci]

Lucifer 2x11 Thoughts

As much as I spend almost all my time on Tumblr, I’m not a regular blogger, I do it quietly and that’s what I prefer. I reblog this and that like on the rest of my other blogs, and I do speak out when I have strong bursts of emotion (also known as ‘feels’) that cannot be contained.

And since waiting forever for this episode, I cannot keep it inside and I’m letting it all out.

You guys watched it on Monday night, where I live I watched it at Tuesday morning. Bad news, I had classes. Good news, I only have 2 classes on Tuesdays, but that didn’t stop my heart beating so fast or my stomach churning or me looking at my watch every five minutes to get these freakin’ classes over with. And I went home as fast as I could without looking weird, Fate seemed to be on my side when I hailed transport immediately and took the last seat. And I was sooooo excited for this episode I woke up at 4am, my mom usually makes me lunch when I get home, and usually I don’t finish them on Lucifer days.

Aaand right into the episode. 

I must have paused the video in every moment I mentioned here because I couldn’t contain myself from squealing and laughing.

Luci adorably stuttering

Luci and Chloe leaning closer to each other while talking. Chloe nodding in agreement with Luci about stupid ketchup while mere inches from kissing him

Their second attempt date dinner ruined too dammnit let them have a proper date 

Luci desperate for Chloe to understand. “We were having a moment. Don’t be angry.” He just loves her so much.

“She just kept me from making a big mistake.” Sweet sweet babies huuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrtttttt

Chloe seriously stuttering it wasn’t a date while blushing and Trixie knows better than her mom

Luci not accepting unannounced ladies anymore because he’s so upset that his and Chloe’s moment was interrupted

“It’s about Chloe.” Hook, line and sinker

In contrast with Lucifer and his relationship with God and His plans, as much as he’s disliking Mom he’s still wanting that relationship with her and looks so happy of her “approval”

denial jealous chloe is my new favorite

Loser from Lux is you, Luci

dan and maze is my new favorite too

everything in this show is my favorite

I like how they don’t have Dan’s character as the “split up from divorce and got left behind” thing. Like he really reflects what he said “People will go crazy lengths for the ones they love.” He did it with Malcolm and then Perry Smith

I SCREAMED SOOOOO LOUD AT LUCI IN A WHITE SUIT. I CANT BELIEVE I HAVENT SEEN A GIFSET OF THAT. HE LOOKS SO HOOOTT. CHLOE INTERNALLY THOUGHT SO TOOO

“Opposites attract.” CHLOE SAID THAT TOO ABOUT LUCIFER AND FATHER FRANK

“She’s spoken for.” “Hehe, no, I’m not.”  JEALOUS LUCIIIIIIII HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

BI DEVIL BI DEVIL BI DEVIL BI DEVIL BI DEVIL

I MEAN, CHLOE SERIOUSLY INTERROGATED EVERY SINGLE OF THOSE PEOPLE BECAUSE SHE’S JEALOUS

i absolutely love this show, but i mostly covered my ears and blocked the activities of Luci and *ahem* people that are not Chloe

Chloe had to ask if there was special intimacy and dinner along with the sex, wondering if Luci treats her the same with them

bUT THEN, everyone said HE was just a one night stand 

LIKE OH MY GOD, I WAS TOTALLY THEORIZING THIS BEFORE THE EP, CHLOE MIGHT BE JEALOUS OF LUCI’S EX-FLAMES BUT THEN SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO WORRY BECAUSE LUCIFER’S RELATIONSHIP WITH CHLOE IS THE LONGEST AND MOST MEANINGFUL AND THAT’S BEFORE THE SEX

tom ellis looks so good at acting hurt

Dan comforting Luci I want more of that 

maze is so adorable 

they seriously did just not with that Lucifan girl

That was the hottest car driving in existence fight me

Maze is awesome bitches

Amenadiel is like adorably confused 24/7 now

“DO YOU THINK I’M BOYFRIEND MATERIAL????”

BOYFRIEND

HE SAID BOYFRIEND

I WAS EXPECTING FOR THE KISS BUT I NEVER EXPECTED THAT

HE WANTS A MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIP AND HE WANTS THAT WITH CHLOE

BOYFRIEND

HE SO WANTS TO BE WORTHY FOR HER

“Humans and the Divine don’t mix.” I wish they would expand on why. Like humanity and divinity aren’t compatible, i wonder if it’s just that or something more

as much as i adore Luci’s hurt face please stop hurting him

“can i keep him”

Devil is a pro-feminist don’t mess with him

Lucifer Morningstar says he’s unworthy, but still he says he’s a good guy 

Lucifer Morningstar thinks he’s unworthy for Chloe and says she deserves someone better even if it’s not him

Lucifer Morningstar lists off things about her that makes her special and saying it like it annoys him

Lucifer Morningstar knows every murder breaks her heart without her admitting it

Lucifer Morningstar says her middle name is boring but says it anyway

Lucifer Morningstar being hopelessly in love with Chloe Jane Decker and doesn’t think he’s best for her

Chloe Jane Decker kisses the man who is best for her

It’s feels amazing to be a Deckerstar shipper