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#every release he's done the last 2 years ive loved
insomnianoctem · 1 year
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Heartbroken to see Peyton Parrish use an AI music video </3
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jellybeanium124 · 2 months
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TUA 4x05 reaction
I'm sorry... are lila and five gonna be stuck on the subway for six years five months and two days... jesus. if I had a nickel for every time five got stuck somewhere hellish I'd have two nickels which isn't a lot and frankly it's not that weird that it happened twice
lila is gonna want nothing more than normal after this
fuck... 6 years without a shower or toilet coz there ain't either of those on the subway. icky. well. five's done it before.
imagine telling early season 2 five that he'd eventually be stuck on a magic subway with lila for six years. imagine telling early season 2 lila.
they are gonna be weirdly codependent after this
klaus. burn the coffin. dig up thru the dirt. light that shit on fire. worst comes to worst and you die and come back
this season's also been way more gore intense than any of the others, methinks
if five and lila kiss I'm gonna release the wasps
they keep calling the umbrellas kids even tho ben, the youngest, is canonically 35. 35!! and gene and jean and sy keep calling him a boy. he is in his 30s. diego, 4 months older than him, has 3 fucking kids. bruh
ghost dog!! sure!! lmao
claire sees her mom be a badass for the first time :o I love that trope when a kid sees their parent being a total badass for the first time and it completely upturns their worldview lol
diego meeting a walking object lesson is ok. because sometimes people need to meet a walking object lesson sabhdjf
DIEGO LEARNED PUNJABI 😭😭😭 BRUHH...
man I want that cable knit sweater five is wearing
I stg if lila/five becomes a thing I'M gonna be the one vomiting bc what the hell
that is NOT the kind of enemies-to-lovers I want 😭
I literally said "stop" out loud
hey guys would it make me a horrible person if I would've prefered major character death
why was there so much kissing
ELEVATOR FIGHT ELEVATOR FIGHT!!
rip funny elevator fight. anyways get those bitches, luther
WHY DID LUTHER HAVE TEAR-AWAY PANTS 😭😂
luther only owns tear-away suits. for stripping. I love him. anyone who hated luther ever is wrong
the entire season everyone is fatshaming diego for having a straight up not-even-visible tummy. then his shirt comes off and he has a six pack. bruh.
ritu and aidan are screaming for help. obviously. I am looking at them and someone needs to help. who decided that five and lila should lose focus and have a consensual workplace relationship
I'm barely fuckin joking adain and ritu were clearly having the time of their lives together in s2 and s3 but adain is delivering his lines like he wishes he was doing literally anything else
oh jesus five, don't electrocute yourself on the track
ive. you gotta tell lila about the book you found from yourself left for you. dude. for the love of fuck.
why is five talking like lila owes him?? you really are acting your age, old man. she doesn't owe you shit just coz you held her when she was sad
reg is literally buttering viktor up just like he did with klaus last season
jennifer disappeared??
nope nevermind
OH FUCK. SY IS AN ALIEN. LIKE REG. SAME ALIEN. SHIIIIT
HE'S ABGAIL?!?!?!
oh my gd so sy was a real guy who abagail killed and scooped out to wear as a skin suit. so that's why "sy" had the marigold.
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premium-value · 10 months
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this is not goodbye by Premium Value
i started making vaporwave in 2020 because ive loved vaporwave for a long time and it occurred to me that it seemed easy to get into just for fun. it was an easy creative outlet during the worst of covid, and it kept being satisfying. looking back a lot of the stuff i made early on was crap but it was still fun. in late 2021 i got reached out to for an opportunity to have one of my albums featured on this new digital label along with a release on cassette which id get a cut of. i had to make some adjustments which resulted in it eventually being a double-album feature to make it feel substantial enough, but i was really excited. essentially over the course of the next year and a half barely any progress was made on their end, id get very little communication, and while that was happening they were still releasing other albums from other artists. this sucked big time. i eventually got fed up and told them i was out, to which they responded seemingly in earnest, but it felt hollow and like they were trying to make amends far too late to save face. this year and a half led to me making probably some of my best stuff, but it was also the beginning of the end. i was running out of ideas. it wasnt until this year when i really started losing steam, both running out of ideas and motivation. again the stuff i have made this year is among my favorite releases, but lets be real including this i only released 4 completely original albums, 1 expanded re-release and one triple album re-release with just a handful of new songs. it feels like every new release i really have to strain to come up with stuff, let alone try and put it all in a cohesive album concept. when i started, up until early 2022, i was releasing an album every month. i was throwing everything i could at it, and then with the label deal sitting around and me burning through my ideas i finally slowed down to an album every other month. this year there were more and more gaps as i allowed myself some room to breathe and come up with stuff. and it was around the middle of the year when i finally cut my ties with that group and that label. if youre a part of that label and you see this and you figure out this is about you, just keep it to yourself. no drama, not necessarily any bad blood, it just sucked and im done with that part of my life. im now officially giving up on any official obligation to regularly make vaporwave. it served me as a huge passion while it lasted, and it is still fun to make stuff when it comes out good, but its just so much harder now. so maybe ill make another album next month, or the month after. maybe ill make another album in 3 months. maybe 6. maybe a year. maybe 5 years. maybe never. i dunno, i leave that up to future me. i still love vaporwave and id love to have more ideas. maybe i need to explore more rabbit holes of music to inspire me. maybe i need to explore making original music more. who knows. to sum up, this is not goodbye. it's "ill see you when i see you." so ill see you. love you. 
track list:
feeling - 6:46
Say You Love Me - 4:02
Talk to Me - 2:30
does he know - 6:34
感情 - 5:27
this is not goodbye - 3:26
released december 4th, 2023
all sample credits included on bandcamp page
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wandringaesthetic · 11 months
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Some very belated thoughts regarding Final Fantasy XVI (and Game of Thrones)
If you've ever had a conversation with me about A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones, you would know that my exhaustion regarding it is endless. I read the first three books circa 2003, when I was in highschool.
There was the slow release of the books. There were the absolutely depressing things that happened to the characters. There was the show, which I initially viewed with enthusiasm but then I couldn't stand the mention of for reasons I couldn't articulate. I fell behind on the show, and then it caught up with the manga, and then the show was about to end, and I thought, well. If I ever want any closure on this story I had better finish watching the show, because god only knows whether or not GRRM is ever going to finish the books. So I watched every season so far in preparation for the last one, some 15 years, two college degrees, a marriage , a child, and several jobs later than when I first started this journey.
And we all know how that ended. D&D apparently had information regarding how GRRM is planning on ending the story, but I'm pretty sure they misunderstood the themes badly enough that GRRM, if he ever gets there, is going to take a very different route to those conclusions.
Meanwhile, Jon Snow is still at least mostly dead in the books.
I will never know peace regarding Westeros. It's fine. (It isn't).
Other than being left hanging, a major reason A Song of Ice and Fire absolutely exhausts me is the misery train. I remember seeing a gifset, early in the show days, with images of the Stark Family with the words "we are never ever ever getting back together." Nothing good ever happens here. No one is getting back together.
And this is where FFXVI departs from Game of Thrones. You'll get your childhood friend slash adopted sister back. You'll get your brother you thought you killed back. You'll get your dog back. You'll get your beloved chocobo back. (Reuniting with Ambrosia made me maybe the most emotional that anything in the game did, I so did not expect it.) You might die at the end (maybe, it's up to interpretation) but there will be some relief from your loss and misery.
Allegedly, early in development for FFXVI, Yoshida made the whole team watch the first four seasons of Game of Thrones. There's a kinship here, and it's intentional. As much as part of me groans at this, there's a precedent for this in Final Fantasy. Yoshida has long been an admirer of Matsuno, and Matsuno directed Final Fantasy Tactics, a game that was not influenced by Game of Thrones (I don't think it was translated into Japanese at the time), but that was influenced by The War of the Roses, especially as told by Shakespeare, something A Song of Ice and Fire was ALSO influenced by. Yoshi-P should have made the whole team watch Henry IV part 1, 2, and 3
Anyway! FFXVI has a kinship with GoT, especially early in the game. There are a lot of warring factions. There's a lot of moral dubiousness. There's sex and violence and swears. But somewhere in the middle it breaks down and becomes so extremely Final Fantasy. Perhaps (as someone who really loves Final Fantasy) TOO Final Fantasy.
Early in the game, you have human enemies. The ironblood, the empire, Benedikta and Kupka.
But pretty soon, you find out that there's something Beyond, gunning for you (Clive) specifically. Arranging his life in a certain way so that he will acquire certain powers.
Something Final Fantasy does Very often is a villain switcheroo. Either a henchman of the villain overthrows who you thought was the main villain and becomes the main villain, or some Dark Force was influencing the main villain this whole time. This is done sometimes well and sometimes poorly.
So, Ultima, he's some kind of ancient alien. He claims he's a god and probably isn't, exactly. He's going to suck up all the lifeblood of the planet and cast the spell that ends the world. He takes up all the light and air from any part of the plot that does not involve him.
He is playing Final Fantasy villain greatest hits, is what I'm saying. But he sucks. He sucks so bad. He is near the bottom in my ranking of Final Fantasy villains. If I had to choose villain rep from this game for a future Dissidia game, I would choose Barnabas Tharmr over him.
(I feel the Final Fantasies that don't have strong villains are that way because the real villain is organized religion, or time, or despair, or something like that, but that's another essay)
This kind of singular, definitely evil, otherworldly antagonist is the opposite of what makes the morally gray, messy, many factions storytelling of Game of Thrones work. So in the end all of the GoT stuff is set dressing. It means very little.
Part of me wants to see an FFXVI that didn't pull its punches, in which Joshua really died in the prologue, in which none of the dominants or their nations are really right or good. Where it's about power. Where we maybe focus on the messy liberation of the bearers.
But that story maybe ends more like A Song of Ice and Fire might end (if it ever ends), where most of our characters are dead, where the people left just barely survived because they banded together against the oncoming night or blight rather than fight each other over scraps.
And that story is... Exhausting.
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steveezekiel · 5 months
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THE MOVE OF GOD 2
9 BUT as it is written: “Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, Nor have entered into the heart of man The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.” 10 BUT GOD HAS REVEALED THEM TO US THROUGH HIS SPIRIT. For the Spirit searches all things, yes, the deep things of God. 11 FOR what man knows the things of a man except the spirit of the man which is in him? EVEN SO NO ONE KNOWS THE THINGS OF GOD EXCEPT THE SPIRIT OF GOD. 12 NOW we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, THAT WE MIGHT KNOW THE THINGS THAT HAVE BEEN FREELY GIVEN TO US BY GOD." 1 Corinthians 2:9-12 (NKJV)
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At each stage or every juncture of your Christian journey, you need to check and ask from God to know whether you are still on course in the fulfillment of His Purpose for your life.
Any number of Believers have derailed from the right path, because they allowed Rigidity. Such people are not seasoned, not current, they are far away from God. a. They are still working with past instructions, stale messages or instructions, they received several years ago, and they have not met with God recently to know what He is saying. b. They knew nothing about His move and progressiveness. They often criticize the new move of God, because they are out of touch with Him. c. Such Believers would not endeavour to go to God and ask about His mind, whether they are right or wrong on the things they criticized. And the going to God for inquiry should be done with an open mind to know His move or doing presently, otherwise nothing would be gotten out of it. THEY have derailed, and deviated, but they could not discern it.
Every Believer, and much more a Minister, should be current and be sensitive about the move of God and His leadings.
God changes patterns, strategies, every now and then, thus, you have to be sensitive in hearing His voice and knowing what He does per time—what is going on in His Kingdom per time.
How to position yourself for fresh instructions daily: (i) Cultivate the habit of dialoguing with Him Always. (ii) Always have a time to fellowship with God, and talk things out with Him. (iii) Appreciate every little result. Nothing should be too small or minute to thank Him FOR. a. When this is done, you receive fresh revelation on what next to do. b. God will not speak further until you are back with Him in appreciation, about the last assignment, and give Him the feedback on whatever you had done. c. In the place of appreciation and acknowledgement, He would give you New ideas, fresh Revelation, on whatever to do next. d. Appreciate and acknowledge Him in all He has done—thank Him for His past faithfulness. (iv) Tell Him of His goodness and faithfulness in all your doings in the past, and how He has helped you to accomplish in all you did. He wanted to hear that from you: "I WILL SING OF THE MERCY AND LOVING-KINDNESS OF THE LORD FOREVER; WITH my MOUTH will I MAKE known YOUR FAITHFULNESS FROM GENERATION TO GENERATION" (Psalm 89:1 Amplified Bible, Classic Edition). a. God wants whoever He has blessed to offer a Sacrifice of praise and Thanksgiving: "THEREFORE, LET US OFFER THROUGH JESUS A CONTINUAL SACRIFICE OF PRAISE TO GOD, proclaiming our allegiance to his name" (Hebrews 13:15 NLT). b. When this is done with a good heart, you cannot but receive a fresh revelation, a new direction, or an instruction, on what to do next.
Praises release God's favour.
When you praised God, you will experience an increase: 5 LET THE PEOPLES PRAISE YOU, O GOD; Let all the peoples praise You. 6 THEN THE EARTH SHALL YIELD HER INCREASE; GOD, our own God, SHALL BLESS US. 7 GOD SHALL BLESS US, And ALL the ENDS of the EARTH shall FEAR HIM" (Psalm 67:5-7 NKJV).
God can only lead a person who acknowledges and praises Him.
God does not, and would not lead a murmurer, someone who complains, because it is a sign of rebellion. God leads the praisers!
When you praised God, you put yourself in the position of receiving or having more from Him.
If you are stunted, you need to check your life.
You may have cut off from the original path, the line He places your feet—which He wanted you to follow.
God may want to change your focus, that could be the reason He halted you.
Look inwardly, be quiet, and be prayerful, and be meditative; He will open up to speak to you.
You may also need to repent if you had derailed from the right path He sets your feet.
The leading of God is of paramount importance.
If God does not lead you, how would you profit? (Isaiah 48:17).
If He does not lead you, how would you know the way to go? (Psalm 25:9).
If He does not lead you, how would you increase and make progress in life (John 15:5).
Cooperate with God to know His current move in your life, about the work you do, and about His Kingdom on earth.
And most importantly, endeavour to key into His programme for your life as an individual Believer If you discovered it.
Prayer
You will not become a monument in Jesus' name.
And you will not fail in Jesus' name.
Whatever ailment in your body is rooted up in Jesus' name.
Healthy living is your covenant right as a Believer in Christ Jesus, thus, you would no longer be afflicted with any sickness or disease in Jesus' name. Peace!
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kazuhasbunny · 3 years
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ok idk if this is yr thing but. hear me out. razor with a gf (dats u) thats one of those little catgirl characters, and u go into heat every spring for a few weeks and just get so slick and needy everyday that hes just on a constant clock of having to fuck u until yr full and satiated until the next day when they gotta do it again. like when yr in heat u just produces so much slick and desperately need an outlet for it but he likes to tease u yknow, hes a mean little puppy, so he'll just rub his cock up against yr pussy but wont slide it in until it gets to the pt where yr almost crying begging for him to fuck u as hard as possible, u just need it so bad it almost hurts and when he finally pounds into u for like an hour, like youve cum all over him and its dripping out but its gotten him so horn knee he keeps fucking u even after the rut is over ❤
or 👀 razor but hes an actual wolf boy and he goes into heat every year for a few weeks, hes only ever gone into heat 2 or 3 times before but this is the first time hes had a partner w a little pussy to help him thru it so he just goes absolutely feral rutting into you as hard as he can. his claws r digging into yr thighs and yr neck and his teeth are bared, hes snarling but hes not angry, no, yr pussy just feels so good he doesnt know what else to do but just fuck you over and over and over again until youve cum countless times on him and hes pumped u full of himself and when hes finally done and he pulls out of u hes just so loving and apologetic-- he'll kiss u so softly and run his big hooked claws over yr thighs and yr soft bruised body ❤ but then he looks down and he sees yr legs r still open and his cum is still dripping out of u, yr pussy is so blushy and abused that it just starts him over again and his eyesight gets blurry and aw shit, here we go again
wolfboy razor in heat but his partner is too tiny for him to fit in at first, so hes gotta restrain himself and pump his cock to get off with one hand but the other hand is fingers deep into their pussy to get them loose and slick for him, then he just grabs their hips and slides his shaft between their folds to tease a lil bit, then boom hes forced it in all at once and the feeling of such a tight pressure squeezing around him almost makes him cum without even fucking them thoroughly-- his partners squeals and begs to slow down bc it almost hurts too much just make him even more lost in it and even more desperate to get off. he tries to apologize for the rough entry but he can barely focus on anything else but his instinct to breed them full so he rubs the little nub on the top of their stretched open entrance and uses his clawed hand to pull their folds open for easier in and out fucking
(wolfboy razor in heat cont.) at some point hes bred them so full the area below their bellybutton is almost slightly inflated w cum and he can see the shape of his cock showing thru, so he finally pulls out and releases his last load onto their abused red folds and gently fingers them/caresses their entrance to help them ride thru the aftershocks while his seed is still dripping out of them in ropes. his partner is exhausted and their eyes r shimmery w unshed tears after his rough fucking but when he kisses their neck and leaves gentle little nips on their throat and kisses them so much their lips turn as red and puffy as their clit its all worth it. heres hoping theyve got some plan b bc hes gonna be doing this for weeks, (unless they wanna be full of his pups and finish his heat early)-- but only after hes waited for their pussy to recover, yknow he always leaves them painfully sore yet satisfied so hes gotta wait b4 he can enter again and continue the cycle
of course, if they dont wanna let him abuse their pussy too much, hes always down for just laying back w his cock out so his partner can slide their mouth down onto him and let him grab onto their soft hair to face fuck em 👀 bc ive had a lotta thoughts abt razor w a thing for blowjobs
(okay since im on pc rn im gonna answer asks that are prolly from same anon thats like , long)
okay but .. bj with razor though .. just showing him that there's other ways to show how to please him ... since your pussy is definetly gonna be abused by the end of the day due to so much fucking ... him just using your mouth as a fleshlight and throatfucks you surely leaving you with a sore throat next morning .,, hmmmh this . the . im . hsdsnsmndmsndmnsmnm
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yeoldontknow · 3 years
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დ content tag game დ
tagged by the loveliest angel @augustbutwinter to do this fun tag. thank you so much my love! 
1. what fandoms have you written for (but do not currently)?  - harry potter, muse, merlin, supernatural, doctor who, sherlock
2. what fandoms are you currently writing for? - kpop only
3. how long have you been writing? on this blog?  - my first actual fanfic would have been when i was about 8? it was for sailor moon but it was literally only in a journal i had. i presume that counts. so that would put us at 24 years lmao - on this blog specifically, since april 2017
4. on which platforms do you post your stories?  - here and AO3
5. what is your favourite genre to write? - aaaaangst lmao and horror/suspense. i love really dark things, and have always had a fascination in writing things that disturb me? i think its from an analytical or psychological perspective, exploring the limits of humanity and processing for myself why these things make me uncomfortable/where i feel them on my body/what is fear vs disgust idk. also very much enjoy fantasy/supernatural. 
6. are you a pantser or a planner? - almost always i have a plan, however there are some fics that come out of nowhere and i just have to write them. examples of this are enough and love; always
7. one shot or multi-chapter? - i usually try very hard to keep things as a one shot, and reserve series for things that actually have substance enough to extend past 3 chapters. lately, all my ideas have been very plot heavy or come from worlds i am very interested in exploring and/or have aspects of emotion i want to work through. if i cant keep it to a one shot (like...under 30k) i will make it a series and ill be angry at myself lmao
8. what is the perfect chapter length in your opinion?  - anywhere from 5-9k is a solid, average chapter length for me. some chapters, in hero for example, need to be more than this because theyre the heavy plot chapters. i have been trying not to focus on lengths anymore, just want to write until the story is told
9. what is your longest published story? is it complete?  - the longest story ive ever written is 154k in a different fandom and yes its complete. at the moment, hero is breaching 98k and i imagine it will be my longest when its completed
10. which story did you enjoy working on the most?  - when it comes to series, hero and time runner will, and always will be, the most special things ive ever done. i feel at home and myself when im writing them. im in love with writing them. the ideas are so strong, and the characters are so loud and clearly defined it just is the best time making art ive ever had. - for one shots, light sakura was truly catharsis. i needed to write that. its the most personal, vulnerable thing ive ever written and will probably never produce something like that again unless theres another major event in my life. also absolutely adored writing molotov cocktail and empty vessels. those are both the easiest 30k ive ever produced
11. favourite request you’ve have written and why (if any?)  - brooklyn is burning was technically a request and im extremely partial to it
12. are there reoccurring themes in your stories?  - oh yeah. usually my female characters are working through bad relationships or finding their voices, seeking identity and power in worlds that dont necessarily provide that. i write what i feel and what ive lived, the worlds around the characters are just exaggerations of reality and my imagination. theres always a little piece of me in my stories, and usually that piece comes down to them learning to trust which is something i struggle with
13. current number of wips?  - please i cannot share this number, not when im ashamed of the amount lmao
14. three things you have noticed about your own writing? 1. smut is insanely hard for me 2. fluff is almost impossible, and could be considered my weakness. happiness is an external feeling, an outward experience. im a very bodied writer and finding joy or finding small bits of romance is difficult (largely because i live alone) so i will over explain aspects of the idol character or highlight small actions in the effort of holding onto them 3. i am still learning to trust the process
15. a quote you like from a published story.
‘Don’t confuse loyalty with strength,’ you say, as he releases you. You remain still, forehead pressing against the bars to get as close to him as possible. ‘I have no allegiance to you. My silence is not owed to you.’
‘Really?’ he says with disdain. ‘It was given so freely the last two days.’
‘Your ignorance proves you have never truly known a woman,’ you taunt. ‘We are always at war, even if we are silent.’
- from: hero - chapter 3
16. a quote from an unpublished story.
Would it have been easier for you both to survive if you could be a needy, fragile little thing - not ready to die, not ready to leave him on his own?
The night before, Chanyeol held you close, kissed you until your throat felt raw, and made you realize he didn’t want it, didn’t need it. He loved the war in you, handled you like a blade between his fingers, skin unmarred by your sharp edges. He didn’t want it, but you wanted it, at least a little. You wanted him to know there were still traces inside you of the girl you lost.
from: time runner - chapter 7
17. space for you to say something to your readers.
hello beautiful loves. every moment you even click on one of my works an angel gets its wings <3
tagging: @yehet-me-up @kyungseokie @jenmyeons @j-pping @jamaisjoons @yoonia @kithtaehyung @inkedtae @kookdiaries @kookingtae @xiaokoo @sunshinekims @biaswreckingfics @ditzymax @sugaurora @bangtanhome @yeojaa @sahmfanficbts @xjoonchildx @writtenwhalien @jinpanman @cutechim and anyone else who would like to do this <3 as always please only do so if comfy! 
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moonlit-imagines · 4 years
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Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s Daughter (The Intense Years)
Tony Stark x daughter!reader
warnings:
a/n: y/n is 16-17, also ive really never written anything about team iron man so this was weird, someone needs to tell me i dont need every single movie detail in here
prompt: takes place from cacw and smhc
The Early Years (1) The Teenage Years (2) The Aftermath (4) Continued (5)
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after the events in sokovia, you set up the relief fund for displaced sokovians and dealt with physical clean up while the avengers...
well, they had to deal with the press—and the governments of the world
getting to know your new suit AI, JOSHUA
briefly looking for bruce; no luck there
you ended up doing the MIT september foundation presentation with tony
and ending the presentation after pepper’s name popped up on the screen
“it’s probably best we get out of here”
you were his entire support system while he was going through his break with pepper
meeting charles spencer’s mother, who really gave your dad a piece of her mind
“my son died, but your daughter gets to live on. if you lost her, maybe you’d show some sympathy for murdering my child”
*awkward silence from you*
*awkward silence from tony otw to the compound*
HATING the sound of the sokovia accords, yet understanding why they’re being ratified
being torn between signing them or not and having a huge argument with the other avengers
“y/n, why dont you listen to your dad for once and sign the damn thing”
“uncle rhodey, you know why i dont want to sign. if they have us, they have access to our suits. you really think the UN should be telling us how to use them?”
“your defense doesn’t even make sense. i had the war machine or iron patriot or whatever the hell you want to call it, but the military was calling the shots”
“and look where you are now”
“right, well i wouldn’t expect a kid to understand”
“are you kidding me, rhodes? you’re gonna play the ‘im older than you’ card?”
comforting wanda while she feared being taken
and as soon as you heard about what happened in lagos
“think about it, maximoff. if you didnt do what you did, do you know how many more casualties there may have been?”
“but i killed innocents”
“no, rumlow killed innocents. you contained that blast better than anyone else could have and you prevented a whole bunch of deaths, give yourself some credit”
okay, so you weren’t the best at talking someone down while they were upset
staying in berlin with your father while the whole bucky thing began to get sorted out
but he sent you out to stay with nat while he had some “private time” with steve
tony keeping you close to him during the power outage at the base
until it turned out you brought your suit and tony did not!
everyone was looking at you to take down bucky, but it just seemed like a bad idea, you didn’t want to hurt him because you didn’t want to hurt steve
stalling to try and buy steve time to subdue his friend
“y/n, come on, for christ sake!”
“got it, dad! i know what im doing!”
“i dont think you do!”
feeling your stomach drop when bucky shot into your dad’s hand, if it wasn’t for his latest invention, he may have gotten seriously hurt
you had a slight change of heart after that, you couldn’t bare to lose your dad. not after all those close calls...
getting yelled at by secretary ross and the wonderful 36 hour ultimatum you, nat, and tony received
“i have a plan”
“don’t say the spider boy”
“fine, i wont say it”
a nice trip to queens :)
when this parker kid finally got home, tony left you to socialize with his aunt
small talk is sometimes unbearable
“so, what’s it like being tony stark’s daughter?”
“honestly? im always tired”
peter becoming a tagalong on your mission, which you didn’t really think was appropriate
“dad, i dont really think we should’ve brought the kid...”
“why? you’re about the same age as him, its not much different”
“um...no, i meant this isnt his battle. i don’t care how old he is”
face off between tony and cap where you literally just swallowed all your pride and apologized because you couldn’t handle the fact that the team was being ripped apart like this
team ups with Spider-Man
“so, uh, do you hate me or something?”
“hey, kid? we’re kind of in the middle of something, i’ll get back to you on that”
“it’s a yes or no question, y/n”
“pass”
so, things didn’t exactly go as planned...
your (former) teammates were taken to the RAFT and you couldn’t pull it together in front of them
they were pretty pissed at you
“im sorry, im so sorry, i should’ve done better”
they ignored you (up until scott lang)
“all you stark’s are the same”
“stay out of this, bugboy”
taking to the remote hydra base in another famous father/daughter teamup
“just like the old days, right kiddo?”
“i guess so”
“hey, cheer up, it’s not all that bad”
waltzing right in there to meet your friend and foe
seeing the video of your grandparents dying
*being killed
absolutely stunned by seeing such a gruesome thing
even after all you’ve seen, this really got to you
you were robbed of ever meeting them, which made you angry, but you couldn’t stay angry because there were so many things out of everyones control
realizing that this was a good time to hold tony back
“JOSHUA, lock down y/n’s suit. protocol: baby gate”
apparently your dad still had some old protocols in your suit that you hadn’t found yet
“JOSHUA? reboot! override protocol: baby gate”
“i’m sorry, miss y/n, but i cannot do that”
watching your father attempt to get revenge
and get critically injured
simultaneously working on opening the suit back up for a bad plan
finally getting the emergency release and stumbling out of your suit, rushing towards the conflict and throwing yourself in the middle of it
“please, dad. enough damage has been done.”
“y/n, get out of the way”
he saw you shaking and crying and he realized what he was doing
attacking the only family you guys really had
getting shoved out of the way so that they could end this fight once and for all
JOSHUA finally rebooting and bringing the suit over to shield you while you helplessly watched the end of this fight
when bucky and steve left, your suit disarmed and you crouched down beside your father
“come on, let’s just go home”
“im sorry”
“i know, it’s okay”
trying to comfort your dad after his defeat
you picked up cap’s shield and returned to your suit, it was time to go home
after a brief time of recovery (while you helped work on uncle rhodey’s prototype prosthetics), there was a slight change of plans for you
“okay, so for your punishment after what you pulled during my...divorce with cap, you’re going to babysit the spiderling so you gain some perspective”
“hold on, what?! what do you mean ‘perspective?’”
“i mean you dont know what it’s like to be in charge of the life of a teenager, so now you get to find out! congratulations on your promotion!”
it was not fun at all because peter kept blowing up your phone and you kept having to tell him there was nothing for him to do
Y/N: I’ll let you know when there’s a spider-level threat, kapeesh?
P. Parker: Yes, ma’am, sorry.
peter going behind your back to do some “superhero work”
and you having to swoop in to fix everything last second
“come on, you stole my thunder, y/n!”
“no, peter, i saved your life. next time you have a lead, call me first”
and then he didn’t 😌✨💕
“Y/N, incoming call from ‘big fat meanie’”
“put him through, JOSHIE...hey dad, how’s dubai?”
“taking care of a kid is harder than it looks, isn’t it?”
“don’t start with me”
damage control ahahah 🤡
“peter, why cant you just call me in? you don’t stop texting me for months but for this you go radio silent? you almost died. and you put a bunch of lives in danger! do you want me to have to go to your aunt and tell her you died?”
“im sorry! i just...i dont want to be a sidekick”
“kid, you’re gonna have a long time to make a name for yourself...but not if you’re dead!”
he started crying and you were very uncomfortable so you tried to hug him? it helped.
letting him off easy (just like your dad did to you growing up)
but apparently tony came back and took the suit anyways and you were pretty pissed about it
avengers moving day :) yes, part of your punishment was helping happy with moving day and hearing him gush about how you were “growing into such a responsible adult”
“happy i dont know if you noticed but ive basically been an adult since i was 12”
“keep telling yourself that, kiddo”
seeing an explosion and immediately knowing it was peter
“i’ll see you later, happy, love you!”
investigating the crash site and whaddaya know, there’s peter and his first bad guy, you were kind of proud
“peter, you okay?”
“nope!”
“okay, cool”
more damage control lmao (a/n: yall sick of damage control yet?)
a congratulatory call from your dad
“hey! you did pretty good, all things considered. why don’t you take the kid to the avengers compound for his special surprise?”
“aye aye, see you soon.”
“love you, kiddo”
“you too, dad”
quick fast forward to peter rejecting the position as an avenger while the press was outside, yes, you were surprised
but then your dad finally proposed to pepper, it was a pretty cool engagement announcement
“y/n, will you be my maid of honor?”
“duh!”
happily ever after (a/n: until the next part is up)
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stanharu · 4 years
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beastars episode 24 thoughts!
this post got kinda long i have Many Thoughts on this one
Overall I had fun watching this ep but I could really tell it was rushed and there was so much that got cut, which makes me super sad. our fears about the finale having pacing issues due to all the added scenes & rearranging were confirmed & it rly sucks, but i'll elaborate more on that in a bit.
this week's ep covered the end of chapter 92, chapters 93-97, and included small bits of chapters 98 & 99.
so the ep starts with the ED and the latter part of the tunnel scene with ibuki and louis. i liked the visual effect they used to show that they were in the dark. louis' voice acting was also On Point. for the most part i think this scene was done pretty well but I can tell it's being rushed also. I really wish we got more buildup and narration instead of just jumping straight to ibuki telling louis to shoot him. the way it is in the anime feels less impactful imo.
also im sad we didnt get to see this in the anime
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before i move on, i wanna talk a bit about louis and his relationship w/ the shishigumi and ibuki. i feel like in the anime quite a few of the lil moments that really endear you to the shishigumi and also ibuki were either cut or kinda glossed over, which is strange to me considering how much effort and care went into the ED. it's very emotional and good but i feel like maybe anime onlies are missing out only seeing the anime and the MV. but idk.
legosi and riz's fight was quite rushed as well. there's so much narration and dialogue missing from it and that really rubs me the wrong way. It wasn't all bad but compared to the manga I just don't think it's as good. I will say tho that I really liked the sequence w legosi and the moths. I thought it looked really nice and was pretty well done.
also i liked how the backgrounds had some anti-yahya graffiti, its a nice touch imo
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it says "high quality horse meat"
I was happy to see legosi do the "tell me more" pose but I'm honestly disappointed that the anime took out the whole exposition about why legosi did it. like i feel like without that it's just legosi being weird when he has a reason for it!!! This is just one example of the anime taking out crucial narration during the fight.
I also think it's kinda weird how they changed how louis shows up at the fight. im not sure how i feel about riz just charging at him like that, but i liked how legosi kicked him before they ran lol.
i dont have much to say about pina's small scene but I did wanna say that during my first watch thru of the ep i was too distracted trying to read the graffiti behind him that i didn't notice him getting his phone out of the dumpster and calling the cops lmao
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it says "devour yahya"
and now... here we are... the predation scene.
overall i thought it was pretty well done but, like the rest of the ep, i could tell it was also being kinda rushed. some important beats werent given enough time to really sink in, and there's a few bits of narration taken out of this part as well that i find disappointing :^(
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tho i did like how the anime called back to this scene in s1 when legosi mentions utilizing his strength.
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also this part where louis is remembering ibuki had me like😭
I also really liked seeing louis cry. I was crying too sjdflskjdflsjkdf. i thought that scene was really good, its prolly my favorite part of the ep tbh. getting to hear the whole predation scene voiced made me kind of a mess lol. i really liked louis' expressions throughout this whole ep too. studio orange used their whole louis expression budget on these last 2 eps lmao.
seeing legosi instantly get all beefed up was great too. he looked a little ridiculous but i kinda loved it lol. he's so huge and poofy. i love him.
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big pomeranian
anyway, im also sad they took out louis' line about being reduced to a flashback character lol. instead he tells legosi "be a hero" again which... im not sure about that change. i liked the part with riz thinking back about tem tho. tho imo the way riz realizes he's in the wrong feels pretty sudden. again adding to how rushed the whole ep feels.
before i move on again i just wanna say legosi looks so cute. even all puffed up and covered in blood. how does he do that
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baby boy baby. i wanna ruffle his cheek floofs.
i think one of the things im most disappointed about from this whole ep was how the fight got wrapped up. i really like how the cops show up and totally shift the tone in the manga jslkdfjskljdf. im also really sad we didnt get this interaction
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tthe anime really took out most of the sillier moments from the finale, which makes me pretty sad to think about. i know the anime and manga have different tones but pls let the boys be silly sometimes!!
the next part where legosi and louis finally establish their friendship was really cute tho ❤️ even tho it was pretty different i enjoyed it a lot.
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BABIESSSS 🥺😭❤️❤️
the wrap-up for this arc and this episode gave me whiplash sdjlfkjsdf. it literally speedruns thru legosi's predation conviction, being released, louis & haru's graduation, and legosi deciding he's going to drop out of school. that is SO MUCH AT ONCE. also i was holding out hope that legosi would have his new years call with haru after the fight instead but that didnt happen!! so it just got cut!!! kinda mad about that tbh. legosi and haru having a lil scene at the very end made up for it a lil bit but that's still one of haru's few moments in this arc that's just not included.
we didnt even get the part wher legosi learns he can't marry haru bc of his conviction.
ive been really hoping for a season 3 announcement once this season ended. with all the background allusions to yahya, the added plot point of someone stealing elephant tusks, and sebun and melon's lil cameos in this season, it seemed to me that studio orange was kinda teasing a 3rd season. but now, with the dismissive way the anime ended, and paru's note from earlier today, im less sure about the possibility of a 3rd season. i'd still like to see the rest of the series animated, but i guess we'll just have to wait and see if more anime is announced in the future.
if we do get another season in the future i just hope that we swing back around and actually address the things that got completely glossed over in the last couple minutes of this episode instead of charging forward w/o touching them again.
i really think the finale for this arc should've been two episodes at least. not including the tunnel scene. i think then things wouldn't have felt so rushed. people have been saying this season really would have benefitted from at least 1 extra episode and i cant help but agree. some have even suggested a whole 24 episodes just for this arc, but i think that this arc couldve been done properly with 12 or 13 episodes if there was some better prioritizing on what to include and what to cut.
like i dont mind not getting the parts about legosi's family if they can be addressed somehow in a future season (or if theres no more future anime seasons thats a plot thread that doesnt have to be worried about). i could have lived w/o seeing sheila & peach's chapter animated if it meant more time for the focus of this arc. and was the kangaroo red herring really necessary?
adaptation wise, i dont think this season was as good as the first. i still think it did fairly well, but i know that it could have been much better. ive been excited to watch this season with my friends once the dub releases, but now im wondering if i should just tell them to read the manga instead. sighs idk. perhaps it comes thru better as a bingewatch, or perhaps im being a bit too harsh. idk. at some point ill do a rewatch and see how i feel about the season as a whole, but that wont be for a while.
if you've read this far, thanks for reading my ramblings!! it's been fun to make these posts every week and im gonna miss getting new episodes every week.
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rel-ish · 4 years
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bdg content that isn't unraveled
ALRIGHT
we all know and love polygon's unraveled series, but you know what else deserves attention? brian david gilbert's original content!! ive seen people recommend different shows and things that he's done replying to other posts but haven't seen a masterlist of everywhere you can find his stuff, so here it is (including links!) :
HIS PERSONAL CHANNEL
a collection of mostly short surreal humor videos with a couple series thrown in for spice.
my personal favorites: how to make jorts, the series Dances Moving (only a ~25 minute series but a true gesamtkunstwerk that will punch you in the gut), and Bri and Jo's Tryin' Show (aka what evolved into lmam a few years later. if you look in the descriptions after episode two, you'll find the link to the full streams!!)
LET'S MAKE A MUSIC
a wonderful series of 30-minute comedy podcasts where Brian, his sister Laura Kathryn Gilbert, and their roommate Jonah Scott take suggestions from twitter users and use them to a write a new song every week! they're currently on a hiatus (might be coming back at some point?) but there are 41 episodes to feed the content hunger
my personal favorite episodes: Thankstaking with Mr. Dad (2), Smooth as Wax (5), and Horsecar (34). find their music here on bandcamp where you can download the songs for $1 each or $5 for an album to support them
THE ALTOGETHER
a band consisting of bdg, Jonah Scott, and Jonah's sister Sierra. they recently leaked that they're releasing an LP soon and ive been thinking about it for days. find their music on youtube (linked above) or spotify. im listening to them while putting together this very long post
my personal favorite songs: Follow Through, Clean Slates State, and Let's Be Realistic. also every single other song
LESSER KNOWN POLYGON SHOWS
this is last because it's not necessarily his own content, but content that still deserves attention
Gill & Gilbert: a variety show (sort of) about video games (vaguely) where bdg and Patrick Gill play video games with weird challenges (like having to carry each other when they climb on a colossus in Shadow of the Colossus, or piling bananas on their shoulders while playing Donkey Kong). probably my favorite thing on youtube right now
my personal favorite episodes: the two I just mentioned and cucco nugget feast, though I would recommend watching this in order. they develop a lot of running jokes that are more way fun if you’ve seen it all
Week in Revue: I think one of the first things Brian did for polygon where he rapped/sang about video game news. like most polygon shows, it evolves into a psychological horror. this one I would recommend watching in order as well
Good Cheap Games: only four episodes long but very interesting videos mostly about his thoughts on indie games. a very weird experience as he is outside in one episode, a place I didnt know he was aware of. not listing favorites because there are only four episodes, watch them all
I think that's everything I know about but if you have anything else, please feel free to add on!
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f0rever15elf · 4 years
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I Just Need Five Minutes: Part 1
Part 1 of the Maxwell Lord “I Just Need Five Minutes” Series: Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4, Part 5 (Coming soon) Pairing: Maxwell Lord x f!reader Wordcount: 2,325 Rating: G  Warnings: Death mentions Part 2 (Coming soon...)
Summary: Lord Corp has become the top business contender on the global stage, lead by none other than Maxwell Lord IV. His rise to glory has taken him from the lives of those he once loved, and you can only watch as he slips further and further out of reach. You had to stop it, before it was too late. You had to get inside. 
A/N: This story is going to call a little bit on the comic book backstory of Maxwell Lord IV, most of which can be found in his wiki article, if you’re interested. I’m excited to write for Maxwell, his character has so much potential. And hopefully this will tide me over since the movie release has been delayed again.
Masterlist  |  Ao3
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He was a genius. Shrewd, cunning, and charismatic. His way with words had everyone coiled tightly around his finger; he could sell holy water to the Pope if he wanted to. And with that silver tongue, that guise he wore to stroke the egos of those who ate from his palm and were none the wiser, he continued to climb higher and higher. More and more power fell into his grasp.
But a glass can only hold so much, and as his brimmed and spilled over with power and influence, so did he lose his humanity.
“Maxwell...what have you done?”
~~~~
The sun shines brilliantly in the summer sky over the wide yard in front of the Lord estate. In the lush green grass, two children play, no more than five or six years old. A boy and a girl, giggling and laughing over jokes and stories told in funny voices. It is the picture of innocence, purity. The little girl picks up a flower from the small pile they had collected, tucking it behind her ear before finding a matching one, tucking it behind the boy’s.
“We match now!” she beams in a way only a child can. “It means that you and I will be together forever!” The boy blushes at her words, soft blonde hair blowing gently in the summer breeze. His face is gentle and kind, shy even as he watches her with bright brown eyes that shine in the light. Tentatively, he sticks out his hand to her, pinky finger extended.
“You gotta promise! It doesn’t work if you don’t promise!” His serious voice makes the girl giggle before she makes a serious face, wrapping her pinky around his tightly.
“I promise! Forever and ever.” The boy smiles and nods as she says so, repeating her words back to her before they both erupt into giggles. From the balcony, the mothers of the two children look on fondly over their cups of tea. The sound of the children laughing danced on the warm breeze, pleasant in their ears. If only things could stay like this forever.
~~~~
Your pinky twitches as you stand before the gilded doors of the Lord Building, looking up at its windows, blinding in the sunlight. You would get in. You had to. Things had been put into motion that you need to stop, but the only way to do so is from the inside. With a shake of your head and a sigh, your turn on your heel, heading down the street towards home. It seems that nearly every screen you pass on your way has Maxwell’s face on it, selling empty promises and loaded bargains. And every time you see his eyes, they look a little less like the boy you use to know.
~~~~
“Max can’t meet you today, dear,” your mother says, petting your hair. To an adult familiar with grief and loss, the tightness in her voice would betray the tumultuous emotions she feels. To you, she just sounds uncomfortable, and you tilt your head in confusion. Fourteen years doesn’t provide much time to become familiar with the concept of loss, so you shrug, saddened you wouldn’t get to see your friend today.
Gone were the days of sitting in the grass to play, tucking flowers into each other’s hair. Maxwell was always busy helping his father to run the family business, and you would go months without so much as a word from him before he would show up at your door with a lily, smiling that dimpled smile at you. Promises always poured from his lips that it wouldn’t be so long next time before he came to see you.
But today… Today would change everything. Today, Maxwell’s father died.
~~~~
The door to your apartment slams shut behind you with a thud, shutting out the hustle and bustle of Metropolis. It’s small, but cozy, filled with your plants to bring a little life to the drab living room and kitchen. Taking a seat in the living room, you pull out your computer from your bag as you flip on the TV. It’s Maxwell’s face again, smiling at you with the look of a used car salesman who swears he wants only the best for his favorite customer. You know it’s not a real smile. Maxwell has a dimple when he smiles, and this charade didn’t. You shake your head as his promises of whatever you want in this perfect future fill the room, your eyes refocusing on your laptop, refreshing your emails. One meeting...that was all you needed.
~~~~
You let out a frustrated sigh as the door slams closed, your mother letting out a cry of surprise at the sound before coming to find you, resting a concerned hand on your shoulder as you throw yourself onto the couch.
“He still won’t see you?” Her gentle words just cause your heart to ache further and you nod.
“His mom greeted me, invited me in and made me tea. We chatted, but as soon as I asked about Maxwell, she stood up and ushered me from the house, asking me to not come by anymore since I couldn’t seem to stop asking for him.” You turn to look at your mother, tears in your eyes. “Why won’t he see me, Mom? Did I do something wrong?” Your mother’s heart shatters at the broken light in your eyes. She knew how much Maxwell meant to you, and that having him refuse to see you was tearing you apart.
“My sweet, you’ve done nothing wrong. Maxwell has a lot of responsibility to take on now that he’s running his father’s company. He’s very busy and doesn’t have as much time to see friends as he use to.” She brushes your hair behind your ear with delicate fingers. “I’m sure he still cares about you.”
“I miss him, Mom. I miss my best friend. It’s been three years since I’ve seen him...” Seventeen years of life and you still struggle with keeping your emotions in check, especially when it comes to Maxwell.
“I know sweetheart...When the time is right, you will see him again…”
~~~~
The alert from your inbox pulls you from your reverie, your eyes refocusing on the screen. As they do, your heart stutters in your chest
‘To Whom It May Concern,
We graciously thank you for your interest in Lord Corp. Mr. Lord has personally reviewed your product and would like to arrange to meet you on Wednesday at 3 p.m. You will have thirty minutes to make your sales pitch and answer any questions he may have. The front desk will direct you when you arrive. Please bring a valid photo ID and copies of your pitch for convince. Do not be late, Mr. Lord’s time is incredibly valued.
Cordially,
Sam Preston
Personal Assistant to the CEO’
You had gotten it. That moment you needed on the inside...you had finally gotten it. A relieved smile graces your lips as you begin to amass your files. You had one shot at this, it had to be perfect.
~~~~
You stand alone in the cemetery as you watch the caretakers laying new sod over the fresh grave. Your heart feels hollow, and only the black lace veil conceals the tears streaming down your cheeks from the world around you. Today was beautiful; cool and still with the birds singing in the trees as the sun warmed the earth. It was too beautiful for a day filled with such grief.
As the caretakers pack up their tools, one stops to rest a hand on his shoulder, passing along his condolences before continuing on his way. You nod gratefully before kneeling beside the headstone. It is modest, small and simple with a delicate engraving of a singular rose by your mother’s name. Black-gloved fingers trace along each petal and letter, your shoulders shaking with silent cries. You were now well and truly alone.
You shouldn’t have had to be alone. He should have been there with you, you had made a promise to one another. You were there when his father passed, and his mother. He didn’t even have the time to attend his own mother’s funeral, but you did. You mourned for him as they lowered a woman close enough to be your second mother into the ground beside her husband. So why were you alone now?
Where are you Maxwell?
~~~~
Your hands work to smooth the front of your dress down before you enter the lobby of Lord Corp. Slate gray with a simple black belt that held nicely to your figure but didn’t reveal too much. Professional and classy, with a dash of sexy. Nothing beyond anything any self-respecting company owner would don. Head held high and the bag you specifically reserved for important business trips and meetings over your shoulder, you make your way inside, up to the front desk.
“Welcome to Lord Corp, where the future is yours, do you have an appointment?” The intern who greets you sounds like every last bit of his soul has been sapped from him, and you pity him. Giving him a sad smile, you nod, pulling out your ID.
“I do, at 3 pm with Mr. Lord.” You give him your name as he takes the card, looking you up in the system before nodding, handing you back your ID and a visitors badge which you quickly put around your neck.
“Lily Solutions, you’re still on schedule. I’ll have you head down the hall. Take your first left, you’ll find the elevators. Take it all the way to the top and have a seat on the bench outside the double doors at the end of the hall. Sam will come and get you when Mr. Lord is ready for you.” You smile sweetly at the young man, thanking him before following your instructions. Your ears pop on the way up and you grimace, pulling out the folder with your ‘sales pitch’ inside, flipping through to make sure everything is in order. As the doors slide open and you make your way down the hall, you sigh. This floor was so much more opulent than the ground floor and you feel so out of place. Floor to ceiling paintings like the walls, depicting grandiose battles. Priceless vases and sculptures sit along marble pedestals. It’s like walking through a museum rather than an office, and your jaw clenches as you think about how he had come to acquire some of these items. When you reach the bench, you take your seat and cross your ankles to wait, trying to calm your racing heart.
“Lily Solutions?” The voice that calls out for you immediately grates on your nerves, high pitched and nasally. Looking to your right, so you a man in a pressed navy blue suit make his way towards you, and you stand to meet him, taking his extended hand. “I am Sam Preston, Mr. Lord’s personal assistant. Did you bring your requested documents?” The way he looked down his nose at you makes your blood boil, but you paste on the sweetest smile you can, nodding as you hand over the folder.
“You’ll find copies of all requested articles inside, neatly labeled for yours and Mr. Lord’s personal convenience.” Sam makes a disinterested sound in the back of his throat, snapping the folder shut before checking his watch.
“Very good. This way.” He strides past you and as soon as he is in front of you, you drop the sweet smile. Maxwell, why hire someone like him? You shake your head as Sam opens the door at the end of the hall, getting your salesman smile in place. “Mr. Lord, your 3 o’clock is here from Lily Solutions.” Sam ushers you inside and you are taken aback once again at how over the top the design of the office is. Floor to ceiling windows line the whole back wall with arguably the best view in Metropolis and the curtains that hang every so often are of a rich red velvet with gold filigree.  The marble tiles cause the click of your heels to echo as you make your way to the center of the room beside Sam, your eyes locked on the man sitting at the large mahogany desk.
It’s been seventeen years since you last saw Maxwell, and your heart ached for the man who appraises you with shrewd and cunning eyes. With a wave of his hand, Sam nods, leaving the folder on the desk to make his way out of the room. The large oaken door closing echos ominously through the room as Maxwell stands, coming around his desk to face you, hands in his pockets. If he recognized you at all, he didn’t show it.
“Thank you for taking the time to meet with me, Mr. Lord. I realize your time is very valuable, so I won’t keep you long.” Maxwell chuckles humorlessly at your greetings, leaning back against his desk.
“You say that, but you bring me this fake, garbage company in an attempt for a sales pitch?” His voice is rough and hard as flint, no trace of that gentle sound he once had. “What game are you playing?”
“No game, sir.”
“I don’t believe you.” He pushes off of his desk, walking back around it. “Everyone has a game they play, and if you’re not going to tell me yours, I’ll have you escorted out.” When he picks up the phone, your heart leaps into your throat and you dart forward pressing down on the receiver, cutting it off. He glares at you in disbelief. The audacity, he thinks, is astounding and he would make sure you suffer for it.
“Maxwell, please.” His eyes flash at the use of his first name, something in the way it sounds in your voice bringing him to pause. “I just need five minutes.”
~~~~~
Taglist is open!  Requests are open!
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otp-armada · 4 years
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Right before I woke up this morning, for a moment, my mind dreamt of a scene of Clarke on the Ring. She makes it to the rocket on time. It's her and Bellamy standing at the observation window, watching Earth burn. It's the two of them looking to the future, their people's and their own, together. 4x13 ends with a flash-forward of six years, but one of Spacekru as a family. As we see the eight of them laughing together at a dinner table, the camera pans to a weighted, happy glance shared between Clarke and Bellamy, him lifting their joined hands to his lips, two matching, thin rings of gold metal on their fingers. And that's how the audience comes to know they have coupled up. Boom. Out.
My ears are ringing from the collective shrieking we would have done.
My waking hours are here, and I'd like to play this scenario out to my specifications.
The first half of 5x01 is Spacekru flashbacks, showing us how they bonded to become a family and how Bellarke got together.
In the long, quiet comfort of the Ring, our heroes give voice to their past traumas and heal old grievances.
Clarke tells Bellamy about her father, Bellamy shares stories about his mother. She tells him about her father's kindness and gentle nature, his limitless heart. Jake's teases about Clarke drawing on every plain surface she could find, a habit that began with her childhood. Passionate as she was for sketching, she was in the midst of early medical training. Her exposure to the Council and the Chancellor is what gave Clarke her political acumen. Clarke recounts the games they used to watch with the Jahas. Before long, she's explaining the rules of soccer to a confused but amused Bellamy. Bellamy tells her what little he remembers about his parents before his father died. Aurora's smile. Her sacrifices for her children. Her tenacity. Her love of mythic stories she passed onto him. The overwhelming sense of responsibility she instilled in him from too early an age. Bellamy talks about the challenges of a life spent hiding a little girl under the floorboards from the Ark. Bellamy shares the rewards of being the only pair of siblings to have existed in nearly a hundred years. Unbidden by the role of big brother in Clarke's company, he gives voice to the constraints placed on his life. The hardships of living in Factory Station, while Clarke shrinks in guilt over her bountiful upbringing in Alpha. They both recall the pain of watching their parents get floated. There, in front of their eyes one second, gone forever in the blink of an eye. Clarke discloses that, while privileged, she was a lonely child. Were it not for Wells, she would have had no friends. She talks about him, what Bellamy never got to know about Wells Jaha.
The atmosphere shifts, and their conversations progress to contemporary times.
They discuss their respective tendencies to want to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders. It takes time, but Clarke finally divulges why she felt compelled to leave Camp Jaha. How bereft she felt. Her nightmares and loneliness in self-imposed exile. Wandering around the freezing cold of the woods. Bellamy can't rein in the pain as he reminds Clarke that she didn't bear it all on her own. She couldn't have, not when he was the one left behind to pick up the pieces Mount Weather shredded. He was the one seeing their faces every day. She asked him to come back with her, to their people, once before, and he did. But when he asked her to do the same, she left. They both know it's not apologies he's looking for. It's a promise, a reigniting of an old promise made between two lost souls needing the other when the world threatened to drown them. They readily give in.
Their conversation takes an unexpected turn when Clarke explains why she gave in to Bellamy's plan to go undercover in Mt. Weather. For her to be strong enough to save her people, she couldn't let love hold her back, make her weak. From the second Bellamy left her sight, she regretted it. They both recognize it as the confession she didn't intend to say. Shock settles in. With newfound confidence, it triggers an admission of Bellamy's own feelings. Cue canon Bellarke.
Once the air between them is clear, it was only fair that the effects of Mt. Weather be a topic Clarke and Bellamy discuss with the third member of the room that fateful day. It leads them to the complicated subject of Jasper, the three of them breaking down in tears over their fallen friend.
Six years of peacetime spent in Clarke's company shapes perspective on the girl herself. She's not Clarke Griffin, the fierce and stoic Skaikru leader, equipped with all the answers. She's not Wanheda, the great legend. She's just a girl, with vulnerabilities, insecurities, fears, and demons, just the same as any of them. She becomes a person to them. Real flesh and blood. A human being who does indeed break. And no one is more startled by this revelation than Raven. It's another contentious relationship of Clarke's requiring time to mend. Although sharing feelings doesn't come easily to Raven, the two eventually crack their sibling-like rivalry where Abby and Finn are concerned.
It's the presence of a fellow cockroach well-versed in the glamourous lifestyle of isolation that gets Murphy out of his self-destructive streak. In their own ways, they have both been the outsiders. They make an uncanny pair of confidantes, so says the rest of the kru. But somehow, it works. Trust doesn't come easy for Murphy, and he and Clarke have their fair share of issues. Close quarters force the two of them and Emori to work it out. For all that Clarke excels at contrition, deserved and undeserved, she's also never been one to beat around the bush, no matter Murphy's preference to lash out in his signature style of sharp sarcasm at moments of his choosing. As it is for Bellamy, Clarke's belief in Murphy as a good man is an overwhelming force, one he is not sure he's worthy of, but privately welcomed nevertheless. In time, there arrives a sense of respect and loyalty between them no one foresaw.
Clarke's penchant for extending her hand to the outsiders doesn't end with Murphy and Emori. Clarke was the first to bring Echo on board and, she is the first to treat their errant Azgeda former spy as family. Post-season 4 to the series' end, Echo's character development is at the forefront of her story arc, never filtered through a subpar pairing needed to fuel an insipid love triangle where her leg of it is marked for eventual demolition.
Since I am bound by limitless imagination, let us pretend this was a 2-hour season premiere.
The flashbacks take us through the six years to the present. Spacekru's happiness is juxtaposed, as we transition to below the ground, by the hellscape Wonkru is trapped in. The second half of 5x01 is Wonkru flashbacks, a la 5x02.
5x02 takes us back to Eligius IV, to the passing of Order 11 (is that what it was called?). A young pilot named Shaw chooses to defy his captain's orders, releasing their prisoners. They proceed to take over the ship, killing Shaw's crewmates and captain, Charmaine Diyoza assuming command. She corrals Paxton McCreary and his men to her side. With their mutiny a success, Diyoza tells Shaw to plot a course for Earth. All the while, we see Shaw wrestling with the bloody aftermath of his decisions. They reach Earth's orbit, ready to go home, unknowingly under the watch of 8 survivors in space.
The Eligius prisoners touch ground on the last arable patch of land on Earth and quickly find themselves ensnared in a series of traps by an unknown number of assailants. Their assailant turns out to be a solitary preteen. They capture her, interrogate her. She speaks a language they've never heard. I'm making it a point to emphasize those infernal shock collars do not exist in my little world.
5x03 plays out similarly onboard the Eligius mothership. Our kru arrives, not to borrow a cup of sugar, but to steal the hydrazine for their journey home. Clarke, Bellamy, and kru debates the morality of killing 300 strangers in their sleep before deciding to use them as leverage. Raven and Murphy stay behind. Six Spacekru members fall to Earth and are captured by Eligius. They are taken to Diyoza, where they find a little girl dressed in Grounder garb. Bellamy and Clarke use their trump card to free themselves, Madi, and use their resources to locate Wonkru, with an additional promise to share the land and their knowledge of life on Earth.
5x04 plays out the same, more or less, without the awkward tension of a Bellarke trying to reacclimate themselves to each other's presence again. Diyoza brings Madi, Bellamy, and Clarke to Polis, where Bellarke negotiates for Wonkru's release. They meet Blodreina and her cult of warriors. Fandom squeals seeing Octavia greet her sister-in-law. Wonkru (and Blodreina) comes to realize that they have found a surviving Nightblood. Diyoza betrays the accord, taking Abby and Kane to Shallow Valley and leaving Bellarke and Madi at odds with Octavia.
5x05 sees Bellarke continuing to act in concert as a team, eager to reunite with their lost people while keeping a protective eye on Madi. Tensions brew between them and Blodreina. Marper and Echo return and they all turn back to Polis.
Blodreina refuses to grant pardon to Echo. Spacekru fights on her behalf, while Echo is willfully recruited for Octavia's mission. Madi meets Gaia under Clarke's watchful eye. When Madi is introduced to the Flame, Clarke tries to persuade her not to be swayed by the Flamekeeper's influence. Because this is my fantasy and I can do what I wish, it turns out that Clarke and Bellamy are expecting their first child. Clarke, believing the Flame to be a curse for its bearer, wants to spare Madi a bloody fate. She wants to abolish this aspect of Grounder culture, fearing the chances her child may become the next natural-born Nightblood. She dreads the possibility of her child as the next participant in the Conclave or the next Commander.
Another sidenote I am interjecting. Here, toxic motherhood isn't a defining characteristic of Clarke's, to aid in her isolation and subsequent, continual emotional decline. In my world, she gets to be a protective mother, a loving wife, a compassionate friend, and a caring daughter, all rolled in one little blonde package. She gives love freely, as she does in canon, but receives it in kind. She doesn't sink to rock bottom, nor must she, to be the heroine she is. She draws on the good and the bad experiences she's had to teach others. She imparts her lessons to those in need. Love is a commodity her life isn’t devoid of.
Clarke and Bellamy argue over what to do about Blodreina. Neither wants her to be harmed, but Bellamy maintains that she is, above all, his sister. He needs to believe Octavia is still within reach. He cannot abandon her now that they're together again. Clarke petitions Bellamy to take their family to Shallow Valley before it's too late. They compromise, agreeing to remove Octavia from the board long enough for Indra to take Diyoza's proffered deal. Their plans fail, as per 5x08, and Octavia arrests Clarke, an execution set for after the baby’s birth. We retain the glorious Blake scene of 5x08. It breaks Bellamy's heart to hurt Octavia, but she forced his hand. He has to protect his wife and their baby.
Tensions come to a head between husband and wife, courtesy of 5x09. Bellamy, having exhausted all other options, decides Madi must ascend to Commander to accomplish their goals. It is the only way to protect them all and save the valley. I am once again interrupting my spiel to remark that Clarke knows, unequivocally, she is included on the shortlist of family Bellamy is most ardently trying to protect. Forget "included," she's at the top. Clarke, ever the protective mother, disagrees, citing endangerment to Madi from Octavia and her patriots. Clarke argues that, of Diyoza and Octavia, Diyoza is the lesser evil to their family. As long as they remain within Diyoza's rules, they have nothing to fear from her. Bellamy, seeing Clarke's deep-rooted fear, agrees.
They are delayed by Marper, who wish to stay within the bunker, living off the revitalized algae farm. Bellamy and Clarke don't want to leave them behind until Monty points out that they, for once, deserve the chance to choose their fate, as all of the people of Earth. Octavia recuperates in time to arrest Bellamy, sending him to the fighting pit. Clarke fights to defend him but is detained. Clarke wants to fight alongside him, but they both know she has to live to raise their baby. They are permitted a final goodbye, and they have an emotional last exchange, a.k.a. Kabby parallel. Like Kane before him, Indra is forced to separate another family.
Octavia assures Bellamy that the baby will be under her protection. By now, Bellamy has reached the end of his rope with his baby sister. He loves her, but he can't distinguish her from the monster she's become, and it's about to cost him a life with his family. Disgusted, Bellamy scoffs at her overtures. He reminds her that his child deserves to have its parents. Clarke's earlier words come back as he tells her that she is his family's worst enemy. It wasn't enough for Aurora to leave him responsible for raising his sister at six years old. For the first time, his life is right, and she's the one who's about to take it away. He reminds her what it was like to lose her mother at 17, to never know her father. She knows how devastating it feels. Yet, left up to her, his child would be an orphan. He finishes with a devastating blow: it'll be those he holds as his family who will take care of his wife and child.
Clarke breaks free of her restraints, making plans to cause disruption to the bunker and getting Bellamy out in the ensuing chaos. She is stopped by Monty, who wants to use the opportunity to give Wonkru a better choice. Clarke tells him she isn't gambling Bellamy's life. Monty breaks again, pointing out that the last time he helped her and Bellamy, they split blood, and their plans still failed. Clarke reluctantly relents out of guilt, knowing how Mount Weather continues to haunt Monty. She does, after all, trust him with her life.
Bellamy fights Indra in the pits until the proceedings are interrupted by an intervening Monty, brandishing a pure, white flower in a sea of blood and darkness. Just as he begins to sway Wonkru to his non-volatile solution to the impending war, Blodreina forces compliance by burning the algae farm.
As Wonkru mobilizes for war, the fractured Spacekru and Madi take the rover to the valley to find their friends. They destroy the worms in transit.
They save an incapacitated Abby, who later recounts the Dark Year. Bellamy can't stop the horror he feels at the ordeal his sister has lived through. He feels a pang of guilt he knows is irrational while wrestling with the knowledge that she is still responsible for her choices now.
They reunite with the rest of Spacekru and are surprised to learn McCreary has taken control of the camp. With Diyoza and Kane's assistance, the eye in the sky is reinstalled, giving Eligius the advantage. As much as they want to prevent this war, they cannot leave Wonkru to die in the gorge. The group breaks off. One team is sent to disable the eye in the sky. The other team uses Madi's knowledge of the valley's layout to head off to fight alongside Wonkru in the gorge.
By the time they arrive safely, only Octavia, Indra, and Gaia are left alive. Bellamy convinces Octavia to retreat instead of sacrificing herself. He tells her she has to live with what she's done instead of taking the easy way out. For the most part, I'm picturing the scenes play out as they did in canon. At base camp, Wonkru is in disarray. Too many bodies are left littered from this war, with Blodreina at fault. To stop the in-fighting, Madi attempts to assume control by invoking her natural right to lead as a Nightblood. Some dissent, claiming she is not yet Commander. With support from Gaia, Octavia, and Bellamy (who makes sure this is what she wants), they sway Wonkru to Madi's side. Freshly invigorated, Wonkru prepares for a second assault.
Back on the Eligius ship, Clarke, Raven, and Shaw release an imprisoned Diyoza. They allow themselves to be captured and taken to the ship's central control. While McCreary attempts to force Raven to pilot their ship, she and Clarke regain control. Meanwhile, Bellamy convinces Madi to let the prisoners live.
From here, may I present two alternatives:
Scenario 1: Clarke kills McCreary before he can launch the missile from the mothership. With Spacekru controlling the ship's weaponry and Wonkru overtaking the prisoners, Eligius capitulates. After much deliberation, a new accord is reached, allowing for all survivors to live in peace as a singular society. Spacekru gets their 80 acres. The last of the 10(2) become parents to the next generation. It takes time, but Bellamy and Octavia's relationship heals. Eventually, she earns back her place in his life as his sister. She becomes one of many to welcome Bellarke's little one to the world, ecstatic to be a loving aunt. Generations later, the Earth recovers.
Scenario #2: The missile is launched. Earth's survivors must escape to space to survive. Marper opts out of cryosleep and has a son. It takes Monty ten years to realize Earth may never recover from its last doomsday. He wakes Spacekru+ to determine options. Between him, Raven, and Shaw, the three configure a self-running algorithm to decode the Eligius III mission files. They wire the pods to awaken its occupants every decade to check the algorithm's progress. The McIntyre-Greens go into cryosleep with some gentle persuasion from Bellarke. They won't leave their people behind. Thirty years later, Earth remains dormant. The files reveal the existence of a planet that could support human life, lightyears away, in the binary star system in the Goldilocks zone. They plot a course.
No, it's not as thrilling as the original ending. But if our heroes are going to traipse across the universe, only to return to their home planet, then Marper will not be sacrificed for nada. They will live out their days, a little older, a little wiser, but surrounded by their friends. They will not say farewell to their son at his ripe old age of 26.
There isn't much I would change about season 6, not where its major storylines are concerned. Clarke meets Cillian for his insight on Abby and Kane's deteriorating conditions. I would alter Madi's arc to where she takes the Flame in Sanctum and uses the time while the grounders are in cryosleep to train under Gaia's tutelage. Madi becomes attached to Bellarke, and it leaves her susceptible to Sheidheda's influence when her newfound familial figures find themselves at risk from the Primes. She'd see Sheidheda as a necessary evil to save her people, not unlike Clarke submitting to Lxa's clout. I would have Sheidheda preying on Madi's fears that she'd be alone again as she was during Praimfaya if she doesn't respond with vigor.
Season 7 gets a similar, substantial overhaul I've been thinking about for months but haven't yet written down.
The end.
(When am I going to stop with these sidenotes? After this last point, I promise.) Jason ran too tight a ship to let his post-apocalypse masterpiece become overtaken by frivolous romance. Without this pitfall, what stopped him from coupling Bellarke up before the end? Nothing. He could have a Bellarke that remained symbolic of the show's themes and mythos. A show that thrives on chaos would never run out of conflict to stir the pot. Falling apart and weaving themselves back together has been the model of their relationship since season one. Why couldn't they do this and be a couple? Why couldn't they have the Memori Model? They could have, but Jason chose the path of the slowburn. There's no fault in this. There is a fault in choosing to rescind the previously established story when it comes time for the threads to finally tie together. And I will never forgive him for it.
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scandeniall · 4 years
Text
Dear Diary
song 1: dear diary |  good & bad masterlist | prev | next
Pairing: sakusa x reader
Summary/warnings: life has been kicking your ass yet you don’t want to tell sakusa/profanity
WC: 1.5K
“How’ve you been,” you paused debating on answering honestly or not. Switching your phone to speaker, you fiddled with the covers resting beneath your fingers before sighing out. “I miss you Yoomi.” A silence comes settled through the phone line. “How are you doing?” The insistence of your well being causes another sigh to escape your lips. Of course he could tell that something was off even through the phone and a part of you curses his observational skills. “Im just--really fucking stressed,” you mutter out reluctantly. 
“Have you been taking care of yourself? Eating real meals and getting proper sleep?” The questions being rattled off on the other side of the phone causes you to crack a small smile at his concern. You could only imagine the furrow in his brows at the thought of a lack of concern for your own health. You almost miss the ending of the questions as he tells you not to lie to him. Your silence causes Sakusa to sigh on the line. 
“Sometimes I hate how much you really know me.” You voice the thoughts that had previously been in your head. Sakusa could hear the slightest of background noise as you maneuver yourself under the warm comforter and shifted to get comfortable. “Do you need me to come home.” The words aren’t phrased as a question, and that causes you to quickly shake your head despite the fact that he couldn't see that.
“No-no. Yoomi, it's fine. I just- I just need to get my mind right and relax. I just needed to hear your voice tonight, that's all.” You tell him, despite wanting nothing more than for him to be back with you.He’d been on the road for the last month, a series of away games and such. And right before he left, you’d been out of town on a major business trip. It seemed as if time nor luck were your friend. It’d been at least a month and a half since the two of you were anywhere near one another. He’d still be gone another month and all either of you could do was wait it out. 
The silence that followed your response was telling. You could already imagine the way Sakusa has his eyes narrowed in thought. Thinking about whether he should push for your well being or let it go for now. The quietest sigh escaped his mouth from the other side of the phone. He’d made his decision. “I miss you too. I’ll be home soon.” 
Life after that phone call seemed to grow progressively worse. Not only had you and Sakusa not been able to squeeze in another talk in the following week, but life sucked. Your job has been giving you more and more responsibility, and allowing you more freedom. On one hand that was great, a celebratory text sent to your boyfriend at the talks of you in for a promotion, however it was tiring. You were coming home later and later, exhausted and starting to neglect your own health.
It’s not you were intentional in the neglect. It just felt too damn hard to come home after a long day and cook a healthy and fulfilling meal. When you were home you were suddenly reminded of just how empty the apartment was without Sakusa. Dust that was normally absent due to his cleanliness began to appear. Dishes piled up more than he would have liked. Whenever you did bother to straighten up at least for his sake, it drained you. 
Adulthood was really kicking your ass and it came to a head one night when you woke up sweating. As if life couldn’t drag you down even more, your AC had gone out right during the hottest part of the summer. Come morning you found out that your landlord had gone on vacation and could not and would not be able to fix the unit for at least a week. 
So you’d done what you usually did. Sucked it up and forced yourself to push through. Not a word of your woes to Sakusa who had more important matters to attend to other than your slump. You went to work, exhausted yourself there and dragged your feet into the dreaded heat of your apartment. 
Upon entering you were automatically hit with a wave of heat, making your already sluggish steps heavier. Kicking your shoes off you offhandedly waved hello to the person seated on the couch before dragging yourself towards the kitchen like it was completely normal. A moment later you stopped in your tracks. “Yoomi?”
The slightest nod from your boyfriend caused you to blink in surprise before launching yourself into his arms. “What are you doing here,” you muttered as his hands ran up and down your back. Pulling away slightly you eyed him. He looked tired. Eyes unusually sunken and you noticed the tiniest sheen of sweat across his forehead. You went to pull away knowing the touch paired with the heat would likely make him uncomfortable. To your surprise, the hands wrapped around your middle didn’t make any moves to release you. “You needed me so I came home.”
You felt a squeeze in your heart as your arms tightened wrapped around his shoulders. “But I didn't say anything—“
“Your voice. On the other week. And then your texts were different.” Of course he noticed. The conversation had already signaled to him that you weren’t the best. Your shaky exhales as you insisted that you were fine and that he didn’t need to come home. Then he noticed the jokes within your texts began to slowly subside. You’d also found yourself saying that you missed him more than usual. “So you came back?”
“I have a 3 day weekend this week. Then I’m back to practicing.” You nodded in understanding the two of you releasing one another and you noticed Sakusa frown. “Why’s it hot?” You explained about the broken AC and about the suffering you’ve endured for the past 2 days. “Did you get any more fans?” He looked annoyed once you denied purchasing any additional appliances knowing he’d had to get that done for you. “You know you’re more susceptible to nosebleeds in the heat right?”
“Thank you Dr. Omi,” you teased, laughing at his scowl from the nickname. The two of you settled onto the couch, your head coming to rest on his shoulder. “It’s common knowledge.” His replies allow a lightness to settle in your heart. One you hadn’t felt in weeks. The two of you settle into a silence for a little while his hand rubbing soft circles on your knee. “You need to take better care of yourself. And tell me when you need me.”
“I didn't want to take you away from your busy schedule,” you hum out. You feel the movement against your knee stop, a former grip replacing it. “I don't care how busy I am, I’m here. Now stop being annoying and tell me things.” You feel yourself jokingly roll your eyes before agreeing. However that wasn’t enough as you heard the scoff from next to you. 
“I’m serious. You remember what you told me back in college”
“Pretty sure I told you a lot of things back then,” you tease, taking his closest hand and interlocking your fingers. “You believed in me,” he started catching your eyes. “Told me you always knew there was no limit to me. That means I can handle it. Don’t feel like you’re annoying me.” Your eyes widened at how he remembered that very specific moment. 
It was around 4 years ago. He’d just told you that he signed to MSBY, something everyone around him was dying to know. Yet you were the first person he told. He remembered how your eyes beamed as you sat on his lap, your phone camera in his face recording the moment for memories sake. He didn’t even bother swatting it away like he usually did. He’d allowed you to place messy kisses all across his face despite the feel of your tacky chapstick. “Why do you remember that,” you questioned a soft smile gracing your own features. 
You notice the shrug of his shoulders as he helped to to sit you sideways into his lap. “Doesn’t matter. Now tell me what’s wrong. And then we’re going to get some fans.” You nodded leaning so that your lips met his for a soft kiss. “I really missed you,” you murmured into the kiss. And while he was only there for the weekend it was enough. He came home for you. The one who has loved and supported him with open arms for the past 5 years. He’d be damned if he didn’t try to make up for it. 
So you told him everything on your mind. Laughing every time he scolded you for the little things. “Don’t let the dust build up by the time I get back next month.” To “You need to sleep more.” And in return you got the same. You got the story from the exhaustion laced in his eyes. The hours it took to get to you, and the germs he forced himself to sit through to make it happen. And despite the annoying heat in the apartment, neither of you have felt that good in a while.
a/n: wow i FINALLY got at least 2 consective songs in a row done so now my prev/next is relevant for at least 2 parts. This took a different route than I initially planned for, nor is it exact in its storytelling. It was also started 2 months ago and finished now bc it was kinda hard for me. Anyways hi um did you catch the no limit to you ref? bc yeah i love that and to date still my fav piece ive ever written. you dont have to read that to understand this but its 5.4k words if you have some spare time.
anyways: im about to be on an 8hr car ride so feel free to request stuff. rules 
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toomuchtv95 · 4 years
Text
My Savior Part 8
Characters: Jay Halstead x Reader, 
Word Count: 3.1k+
Chapter Warnings: Child Birth (Nothing Graphic), Swearing, Fluff, SMUT
A/N: Okay I have no idea if this how child birth really goes. I tried to do research but of course I kept getting mixed answers. So I’m sorry if that not how it happens. I have never had a child or be in labor.
So this is the end of this series. I enjoyed writing and I hope you guys enjoyed read it. Now I do have a Quarantine Update post that you should check out to see what’s next for me and my writing. (Hint: it may involve a new series in...) 
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You were in the kitchen brewing coffee and making breakfast for Jay while he was in the shower. Being 8 and a half months pregnant, you were due in the next few weeks and you a nervous wreck. Even though you nervous, you were ready to meet your daughter and become a mother. Jay was working half days until the baby was born and then Voight gave him two weeks off to help you out. You have been up since the crack of dawn because you are up every half hour peeing and with your daughter kicking constantly you just couldn’t sleep. So, you snuck out of bed before Jay and headed into the nursery to finish packing your hospital bag. Then once you finished that you headed into the kitchen to cook breakfast.
You stood at the kitchen sink cleaning the dishes when a pair of arms wrapped your shoulders. “Morning beautiful.”
“Morning handsome.” You wiped your hands on the towel before reaching up and covering your hand over his. “I made you breakfast.” Jay kissed the side of your head before releasing his hold on you.
“That’s why I love you.” Jay reached up in the cupboard to grab a mug for his coffee.
“Oh, that’s why you love me?” You turned towards Jay as you grabbed a plate from the same cupboard. “Not the fact that I’m carrying your daughter or any of the other stuff you said in your vows.” You plated Jay’s breakfast as he sat at the counter sipping his coffee.
You walked to the side of the counter, placing Jay's plate in front of him just as you were about to walk back to the stove Jay grabbed your arm pulling back towards him. "I guess I love you for those reasons too," Jay spoke low as he leaned in to kiss you. You reached up to cup his face as you deepened the kiss. “I love both you and our daughter.” Jay pulled away and pushed a strain of hair of your face before leaning down and kissing your stomach.
“Okay good just making sure.” You chuckled as you kissed the top of his head before pulling away. “Well, I’m going to hop in the shower. Be safe out there today.”
“Always am.” Jay pecked your lips once more as you walk away. “Love you.”
“Love you back!” You called back as you walked up the stair to the second floor.
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“Y/N? What are you doing here? Is everything okay?”  Will approached you as you move towards the nurse’s station caring for your hospital bag.
“I’ve been having contractions since last night. They start as irregular but since this morning they are about 20mins apart and last about a minute. My water hasn’t broken get but I thought I come here and just in case I can’t get a hold of Jay later and I refuse to call for an ambulance.”
“Woah what do you mean? Where is Jay?” Will motioned for the nurse to bring a wheelchair over to the two of you.
“I don’t know. I called him but he didn’t answer. I just assumed he was in the middle of an interrogation or something.” You held your stomach as Will helped you into the wheelchair. “I mean he’s got a little time before the baby comes.”
“Okay. Let’s get you upstairs and settled. And Maggie keep calling Jay and make sure he gets his ass down here.” Will ordered Maggie who was standing behind the nurse’s station. “Everything is going to be fine.” Will patted your shoulder before pushing you towards the elevator.
Once you got settled upstairs in a room, your doctor came in to go over everything and to check for dilation. You were only about 2 centimetres dilated which means you were going to be here a while. Will returned to the room with a concerned expression on his face. “What’s wrong?” You adjusted yourself on the bed carefully not wanting to pull out your IV from your hand.
“Okay, no need to panic. But I wasn’t able to get a hold of Jay but-”
“Are you kidding me?! His wife is in labor and you can’t get a hold of him!” Anger boiled underneath your skin. This isn’t happening. Jay can not miss the birth of your daughter.
“Okay. Listen to me.” Will walked over to the edge of the bed. “I called the district and I talk to Trudy. She then got in touch with Hank. They are out in the field and Hank is took care of it. He’s on his way.” You sighed in relief. You knew Jay would never miss this because if he did, he would never forgive himself. “But until he gets here, I am here for you.”
“Okay good cause I need you right now.”  You reached out for his hand which he lent.
“Contraction?” Nodding your head, you squeezed his hand tight as the contraction passed. God did you wish Jay were here instead of Will, not that you were thankful for Will, but you wanted your husband.
"Okay, I lied. I thought I could do this naturally. But I want the epidural." You held on to Will's hand practically begging.
“Okay, I will go talk to the doctor." Will lets go of your hand to go find the doctor. You let out a huff as you laid back on the bed. After Will talked to your doctor, he returned and told you that the anesthesiologist will be in a soon as he could. “You wanna go for a walk while we wait for Jay?” You nodded your head as he helped you off the bed. You wrapped your one arm around Will’s upper arm and leaned against him for support while your other hand wrapped around the IV pole.
“You know this morning I was hoping it was just Braxton Hicks since I’ve been having them the last couple of weeks. But as they started to get consistent, I knew it was happening and it’s surreal.” You and Will slowly started making a lap around the floor. “I’m scared.”
“You are going to be a great mother. You and Jay are going to fantastic parents. All first-time mothers are scared it’s perfectly normal.” Will kissed the top of your head as you rounded the corner. “And I think my job here is done.”
You looked up from your feet to see Jay rushing in with his vest still on. Jay rushed over to the two of you. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t expect to be out in the field today.”
“It’s okay. You’re here now.” Jay unclipped his vest which Will took and left the two of you. “I asked for the epidural. I know I said I wanted to do this naturally, but if the pain is bad now it's only going to get worse." You wrapped your arm around Jay’s for support as you leaned into him.
“I told you. I will support whatever you decided.” Jay kissed the top of your head. “Now tell me everything I missed.”
“Well, my contractions are about 20mins apart and are about a minute long.” The two of you walked down the hall back to your room. Once the two of you walked into your room, you stopped when you felt a warm liquid trickled down your leg. “And my water just broke now.”
“Okay. I’ll go get the doctor.” Jay slowly helped you to the bed and was about to walk away when you grabbed his arm.
“Wait I’m having a contraction.” The pain has increased since the last contraction which means you are getting farther along.
"Okay, I'm right here." You leaned forward into his chest as he rubbed your back. "Just breathe. Just like we talked."
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You were holding your daughter who was born less than an hour ago and you never wanted to let her go. After 16hrs of labor, she was finally here, and you didn’t have words to express what you were feeling. Jay had stepped out to make some calls, probably to let the team know, and when he returned, he wasn’t alone. “Someone wants to meet their niece.”
“I would have come sooner, but I wanted to give you guys time.” Will walked over to you before slowly taking her out of your arms. Jay sat back down next to you on the bed and you instantly laid your head on his shoulder. “Well does she have a name yet or I’m just going to call her ‘she’.”
"Riley Patricia Halstead," Jay spoke up from behind you causing Will to look at you two surprised. Both you and Jay decided to name your daughter after the brother’s dad. When the two of you were picking out names, you had brought it up to Jay and after losing his father last year, the two of you agreed that it was a name you wanted to use.
“You named her after dad.” Will smiled down at his niece as he light rocked her back and forth. “He would have loved it. Even though you wouldn’t have shown or expressed it." Both Will and Jay chuckled as Jay rubbed your back.
“We have something to ask you.” You spoke up as Will gently laid Riley in the bassinet that stood next to the bed. “We want to know if you would be Riley’s godfather.”
“Are you kidding me? I would be honored.” Will hugged both you and Jay before leaning down to kiss Riley’s forehead. “I’ll let you two rest. I’ll be back later.” Will waved goodbye to the two of you before leaving.
"Well, we did it," Jay muttered against your hair as you laid your head on his chest.
"Yeah, we did." You lifted your head off his chest before leaning over and kiss him. “3 years ago, I never thought that this would be possible. If it wasn’t for you coming to the bar to question me. We probably wouldn’t be where we are now.” Jay reached up to cup your face and connected his lips to yours. The moment ended when your daughter started to cry from the bassinet causing both you and Jay to pull away.
The next day
"Home sweet home." You were released from the hospital an hour ago and would have been home 20mins ago, but Jay drove 5miles an hour.
“I am so happy to be home.” You slowly walked into the living with Jay behind you carrying the car seat in one hand and the diaper bag in the other. The two of you made your way over to the couch, Jay set both the car seat and diaper bag on the floor, then turned to face you. You grabbed Jay’s hand as he slowly lowered you on the couch.
“You okay?” When people said childbirth was painful, they weren't kidding, especially after birth. Your body just went through 16hrs of labor and your body was sore and tender.
“I’m okay. Just sore.” Jay helped you adjusted the pillows so that you were comfortable since you didn’t plan on leaving the couch for a while.
“Can I get you anything?” Jay stripped out of his jacket before, tossing it on the back of the couch.
“Help me get my off hoodie so I can hold her.” As you unzipped your hoodie, Jay grabbed the sleeve and helped you out of your hoodie. “I love you.”
“I love you back.” Jay smiled at you before crouching down and taking Riley out of her car seat before standing back up handing her to you. As you rested Riley on your chest you gently rubbed her back.
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3 months later
This was your first week back to work and you were exhausted. You were thrilled to go back to work and out of the house a few times a week. You decided to go back as part-time until you were ready to go back to full time. Arriving home after a long day at work, you kicked off your shoes, set your bag on the table by the door, and hung your coat up on the coat rack. As you threw your hair in a messy bun, you rounded the counter to see Jay on the floor changing Riley's into her PJs. A smile spread across your face as you leaned over the back of the couch and watched Jay.
“Your one hot dad.” You teased at him as he finished changing Riley. You pushed yourself away from the couch and stood in front of Jay.
“Oh yeah? You wouldn’t be lying to me, would you?” Jay teased back as he picked up Riley. Sitting on the floor next to him, you kissed Riley on the head, before leaning over and kissing Jay with lust.
“Does that answer your question?” You smirked at him. Since Riley's been born, you and Jay have been having a little hard time finding time for intimacy, not that you two haven’t tried. Every time the two of you tried, either her has gotten called away for work, or Riley woke up from her nap. But the last few nights Riley has been sleeping pretty much through the night and tonight you and Jay are going to have a night together. “I’m going to go upstairs clean up and slip into something more comfortable.” You ghosted his lips as you got on your knees.
“Women you are going to the death of me.” Jay groaned.
“If I were you, I would really hope and pray that your daughter goes down without a fight.” You whispered as you planted a soft kiss on his lips before disappearing.
As you walked into your bedroom, you stripped out of your scrubs and headed into the bathroom. Turning on the water in the shower to let it warm-up as you headed into the closet and grabbed the Victoria Secret bag that you hid behind your clothes. You adjusted your bun on the top of your head before stripping out of the rest of your clothes before hopping in the shower. After getting out of the shower, you wrapped yourself in a towel and wiped the fog away from the mirror. After applying lotion on your freshly shaved legs, you put on the new matching bra and pantie set that you had picked up last week, and then applied some lip gloss. You put on your slick robe that hung on the back the door before exited the room.
“Okay she is down for the night and if we want to keep it that way, we better keep it quiet.” Jay closed the door behind him just as you walk out of the bathroom. “Please tell me that you aren’t wearing anything underneath that.”
“Why don’t you come over here and-” He silenced you with a kiss, molding his lips fiercely to yours, licking at the seam of your mouth you instantly for him just like you always do. He pulled you close, so there was no space between the two of you. Sliding his hand away from your face down the length of your body until they stopped at the belt of your robe. Slowly untying your belt, his lips never leaving yours, and when he depended the kiss a moan rippled through your throat.
“Your beautiful, you know that?” Jay slide the robe down your arms and fully removing the robe. You were far from the body you use to be before giving birth, but Jay could care less about what you looked like. He loved you for who you were inside and out.
“I love you.” You whispered as you cupped his face and connected your lips to his. Jay slowly walked you back towards the bed stopping right at the foot. His lips traveled from your lips to your jawline, then moving to the spot that connects your shoulder and neck. Jay’s hand traveled up your back and unclasp your bra then discarding on the floor.
With one swift movement, your back hit the bed, and Jay was on top of you. He slid his hands down your body coming to a stop at your hips and slowly inched down your panties until you were completely naked. You reached for the hem of his shirt needing him to get naked right this moment. Once you helped him discard his shirt on the floor, you reached from his belt and quickly worked on removing both his jeans and boxers in one movement. “Someone’s eager.” Jay chuckled as he hovered back over you.
“Maybe it’s because we haven’t had any sex since before your daughter was born.” You wrapped your arms around his shoulders as you pulled him closer to you. “Now you can keep talking or-” without letting you finish, Jay thrusted forward causing you to let out a moan. You arched your back upwards, taking more of him inside of you.
“You were saying?” Jay smirked down at you before leaned down and kissing you.
You instantly wrapped your legs around his waist as he withdrawal slightly before thrusting again. “Absolutely nothing.” You unwrapped your arms from his shoulders and grabbed hold of his face and stroked his cheekbones. He began to thrust harder and faster, his hips slapping against your ass as he reached maximum depth. You shout his name as another orgasm rips through you. You let out a quiet scream, as waves of pleasure rock you. Once his crock stopped pulsing, he clasped onto you, while the two of you panted. He slowly withdrew from you and tumble onto the bed next to you.
As he climbed out of bed, you smiled as you watch him disappear into the bathroom only to appear a moment later with a washcloth. “Have I told you how beautiful you look?”
“Only a handful of times.” You smiled up at him as he cleaned the two of you up. Once he finished cleaning you, he discarded the washcloth in the bathroom before returning. After he emerged from the bathroom, you extended your arms and without hesitation, he climbed on top of you placing a soft kiss on your lips.
“Your okay right?” Jay pulled away before collapsing on the bed next to you pulling you into his side.
“I’m good. I promise. Pretty sure I’ll be sore in the morning though.” You let out a chuckle knowing he was only asking because it’s been months and then with giving birth your body went through a lot.
“I love you.” Jay stroked your hair while you rested your head on his chest.
“I love you back.”
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iamrealbuilder · 4 years
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Bill Buchalter interview
Bill Buchalter was a level designer for Sunstorm Interactive. He’s worked on 3 official add-on of Build Engine games: Cryptic Passage for Blood, Suckin’ Grits On Route 66 for Redneck Rampage, Caribbean Life for Duke Nukem 3D. Interview, November 2020: Corentin: Can you introduce yourself?
Bill Buchalter: My name is Bill Buchalter. I’m an avid gamer of all kinds – video games, board games, and especially tabletop RPGs. I’m currently a freelance writer for AAW Games (Adventure A Week Games) writing mini adventures for Dungeons & Dragons 5E. I live outside Indianapolis, IN with my wife Jane, our three kids, and our dog Roxi. When I’m not gaming, I also enjoy music, playing guitar, hiking, and camping.
C: With Sunstorm Interactive, you're credited for level design on Cryptic Passage, Caribbean Life and Route 66. How did you start working with Sunstorm and what do you remember from that time?
BB: In the mid 90’s, maybe around 1995 or 96, I was very into playing Duke Nukem 3D. Like most PC gamers at the time, I had played Castle Wolfenstein and Doom, and Duke Nukem just blew me away. Back in those days, when we played online, we would use a 3rd party program called KALI. You dialed up on your modem, logged onto the internet, and then used KALI as a portal to chat with other gamers and find someone to play with. The KALI software would then allow you to network together over the internet and play PVP matches. It was crude, and the lag could be horrible, but we didn’t know any better at the time and we loved it!
I remember I was in a B. Dalton bookstore in the mall one day (another relic of the 90’s that is long gone!) when I found a book called the “Duke Nukem 3D Level Design Handbook”. I was intrigued, and as I flipped through the pages it talked about a program on the Duke Nukem CD called Build, which allowed you to create your own levels. I had no idea Build existed, let alone how to use it. I bought the book and spent the next couple weeks diving into learning how to use Build. I was hooked!
Making my own maps quickly became an obsession. I would share them with my friends on KALI and I quickly earned a reputation for making user maps. I remember there was a map building competition, but I don’t recall who sponsored it. A guy named Robert Travis won the competition. When I saw his maps, I was blown away! His designs were so much more advanced than mine. He was using tricks I had never thought of to get lighting effects and set moods. I had to reach out to him to pick his brain.
Robert responded and we began talking and quickly figured out that we both lived in Indianapolis. He was working for Sunstorm at the time and invited me to come to their office to discuss level design. I met him there one evening, and he showed me some of the stuff he was working on. We ended up playing Duke all night on Sunstorm’s network with some of the other guys in the office. I was in heaven!
Robert introduced me to Anthony Campiti, the lead producer on Sunstorm’s next project – Cryptic Passage, an add-on for a Build engine game called Blood. They invited me to design some levels for the game and I jumped at the chance. Robert assigned me to design an opera house level and immediately I got pictures in my head of the theater scenes from Interview with a Vampire. I went home and worked furiously on designing the level. I was still rough, but with Robert’s help I tweaked things here and there and slowly learned his techniques. In the end I was really pleased with the level I’d designed. Robert and Anthony were happy too and asked me to design a second map specifically for deathmatch.
The next project Sunstorm was working on was Suckin’ Grits on Route 66, an add-on for another Build engine game called Redneck Rampage. Robert again asked if I’d like to be a part of that team and assigned me to build a truck stop level. Using a lot of the things I’d learned on Cryptic Passage, and the campy feel of the Redneck Rampage game, I had a lot of fun designing that level.
The last project I worked on for Sunstorm was Duke Nukem Caribbean Vacation. By this time Duke’s popularity was beginning to wane, and Quake was taking over. Robert was already starting to experiment and learn how to use the Quake engine. I was a new dad at the time (my first daughter had just been born) so unfortunately, I didn’t have the spare time to devote to learning a new engine. I barely had the time to design my level for Duke Caribbean, but I did manage to finish the casino level for that project. I do recall that Robert ended up going through in the end and changing a lot of the aspects of my level to fit the theme they had in mind. I remember being a bit disappointed and not really feeling like the level was “mine” because of so many of the changes. It was the last project I worked on for Sunstorm.
I kept in touch with Robert and Anthony for a while after that. They were branching out, working on other projects, and even trying to develop their own FPS game that I don’t think ever really got off the ground. Sunstorm was having the most success with their Deer Hunter line of games that at the time were selling well in Wal-Mart. Sadly, I eventually just lost touch with those guys.
I’m sure this is WAY more information than you were wanting (I’m a writer… I can’t help but go off the deep end!) but you dusted off some fond, old memories for me, so I apologize for walking so far down memory lane!
C: I see that you're still making maps, different kind of maps! This makes me wonder if maybe you were involved with W!Zone (a pack of maps for Warcraft 2 released by Sunstorm). Can you tell us a bit about that if possible?
BB: I didn’t have any hand in the W!Zone project for Sunstorm, but I loved the Warcraft series. As was common for many video gamers like me, who had roots in fantasy games like D&D, I played a lot of Warcraft and eventually got sucked into the world of MMOs with Ultima Online, Everquest, and World of Warcraft! If only I had back the time I sunk into those games!
These days I’m exclusively writing and designing for Dungeons and Dragons. I started about ten years ago writing for D&D Organized Play in a campaign called Living Forgotten Realms. I co-authored two adventures for that with my good friend, Michael Pearman, and authored a third adventure on my own. As you know from tracking me down via AAW Games, I’ve now authored six adventures for them, five of which are already published and one that is still in the works but should be released soon.
When I do manage to find time for video games, Diablo III is my game of choice these days. I’m looking forward to Season 22 starting here shortly, and like many others, I’m really hoping for something great with Diablo IV. I’ve been a huge fan of the series since the beginning, and even wrote an entire campaign for D&D 5E that translated the story of Diablo III into Dungeons and Dragons for the players in my home game! Thanks again for the opportunity to share some of this history. It was fun putting it all down and reliving those days!
C: There are two signatures in the Truck Stop level for Route 66. Do you remember anything about that ? There also several levels with no known credit : Fun Park, House of ill Repute, Mystery Dino Cave, Bigfoot Convention.
The signature on the truck stop is Route 66 was a joke! I was the only designer on that one. I just signed it "Billy Joe Jim Bob Buchalter" as a joke for bad redneck name. I wasn't the kind of guy that had to sign my maps the EXACT same way every time. :)
Other than the truck stop, I don't recall designing any other maps for Route 66. I pretty sure none of those you listed below were mine, but I don't recall whose they were.
Finally, here are some final comments Bill made after reading through some forum posts:
Wow, I am really quite humbled that you guys looked so deeply into my work! The fact that you could recognize my build style is pretty cool - I didn't even know I had a style! LOL. The truth be told, the reason you probably had so much trouble telling my levels from Robert's is because he was a big influence on me. I learned a lot from him and incorporated a lot of that into the stuff I built.
Its funny how reading through that thread you linked brought back memories... I remember now that my biggest disappointment from Duke Caribbean was that my only level in the game ended up being a secret level - that some people wouldn't even find it or ever play it. I was actually pretty excited about that level. I was the one that suggested a casino because my folks had retired to Vegas, so I'd been in a lot of the casinos there and had some great ideas for the map. I'd forgotten all about the restaurant I worked into it, and the big fish tanks.
There seems to be some debate about Robert. From what I remember, he was a really good guy. Maybe a bit tough to work for, but only because he really strived for our designs to be the best they could be, and he demanded that of both himself and the other designers. As I said before, I learned early on to accept criticism and critique and not take it personally. It was just Robert doing his job. I'll be the first to admit that I designed better levels thanks to the stuff I learned from Robert.
Someone on the message board made a very astute comment, basically to the effect that "Bill had to have other work out there. Sunstorm wouldn't hire an unproven guy off the street." But truth be told, that's exactly what they did! I hadn't done a single thing before working there. But I think a few things played in my favor. First, I lived in Indy, just 15 minutes from their office, so it was easy for me to go in and work directly with Robert. Second, while I didn't have anything officially published, I did have a disk full of the maps I'd designed on my own, and Robert thought I showed promise. I would design at home a lot, then go into the office a couple times a week and sit with Robert while he critiqued my work and offered advice on how to improve it.
I'll be honest - I'm blown away at the number of people STILL playing these old maps we made so many years ago. I watched a couple YouTube videos of a guy playing and reviewing Duke Caribbean and Blood Cryptic Passage. His high praise of both Full House and the Opera House really made my day. It's nice to know that people enjoyed my work.
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Thanks a lot to Bill Buchalter for taking the time to answer these questions! Thanks also for sharing... “Big City” !
A Duke Nukem 3D map he created back in the day before joining with Sunstorm Interactive which was never released before! Screenshot:
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Map download:
https://msdn.duke4.net/bigcity.zip
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External link: Duke4 forum blog megathread: https://forums.duke4.net/topic/11471-blog-interviews-of-build-engine-video-games-developers/page__pid__353013#entry353013 The forum posts Bill read, mentionned above, can be found here: https://forums.duke4.net/topic/9418-duke-caribbean-multiplayer-levels/
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riceccakes · 4 years
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Earth, Wind, and Coffee: Chapter Three Analysis
chapter one analysis | chapter two analysis
back again for another chapter analysis. i think ive been looking forward to this chapter the most, it’s where some big decisions were made!!! this analysis is a long one, i hope that’s all right! i kinda got carried away. so, let’s dive right in, shall we?
some fun stuff before we start!
chapter three was supposed to be the last chapter of the fic
idk if any of you were there when i first started writing this fic, but it was only going to be three chapters with a possible epilogue. however, everything changed when i finished the end of chapter two. (lil atla reference there for ya) (sorry i know that was bad, moving on). like i said in my last analysis, i had an idea of what i wanted to happen (the separation of korrasami) so that they could come back together. it was just a matter of what separates them. so, i’m not sure where i got the panic attack idea but once i did, the rest of the story changed. i realized i couldn’t quite possibly finish the story in one chapter so i split the ideas i had and decided on it being four chapters
now, this being said, maaaaajor changes were made in my story outline. most notably: korrasami was going to be a couple in this chapter
this was originally going to be a full fledged “they meet, they get to know each other, they fall in love, happily every after” but the thing was, i planned on treating their romance as korra’s recovery; that being with asami is what made korra better, that all she needed was a partner, someone to love, and that is not what i wanted to portray with this story. i’ve never been a fan of stories that give a character a love interest and all of sudden their problems are fixed and they’re completely happy, and here i was about to do just that. i knew i’d never respect myself if i continued down this narrative, and when chapter two ended with korra’s panic attack, i realized her growth needed better love and attention. so, i changed what happened and gave her some therapy
this change in the storyline also let me explore more of kuvopal !!! (is that their ship name?)
so, back to LOVE WITCH for a second (because that glorious fic really did steal my heart) not only did it make me love kuvira’s character more, it also got me into the kuvopal relationship! and yet again, i wanted my own go at it. with the original timeline, there was just no space for me to include the lil bread crumbs of their relationship. however, however, however; by splitting the ending between two chapters (and adding some stuff in between) i was able to lay some foundation for them, which im very happy about :)
into the chapter we go:
let’s talk about the meeting! the whole reason this fic came to be! i’ll start by saying i always knew the project was going to get pulled out from under asami. 1) because thats some angsty/hurt shit right there and im a sucker for writing angst 2) i didn’t feel like creating a whole ass presentation because knowing my ass i would’ve made a powerpoint about it so i had every detail down to the font asami used and 3) getting the presentation taken away from asami was a pivotal point in her character arc.
i actually started the chapter in two different ways. at first, i’d written her whole entire morning with there always being one thing that was off. like, instead of a perfect omelette, it was going to split and asami would’ve had a scramble, still good, but not her favorite. instead of going through all green lights on her way to work, asami was gonna meet every. single. red. light. i would’ve gone through with this if it hadn’t felt strange; i wanted to give the impression that something bad was going to happen but i felt like having something go wrong with every thing in her morning was gonna be a dead give away that some even bigger big bad was about to happen, if that makes sense. so instead, i went with the picture perfect scenario, almost too perfect, if you ask me. and indeed, it was too perfect, because hiroshi was too much of a coward to tell his daughter any sooner that his board agreed to get a new presenter
im just gonna cite a bunch of my favorite lines/bits from this chapter because i really enjoyed writing it xD
Iroh has already begun but Asami hears no words, only a blaring ring in her ears. Her face feels hot and she wonders how red she is. She stares at the black binder, notes the natural grooves and curves of the material, the plastic covering over top of it, the metal spine peaking out at the bottom. She’s only brought out of it’s dark trance when she feels a hand be placed on her arm; Kuvira. 
when you’re upset, do you ever just, hyper focus on one thing and its like you’re analyzing it under a microscope for the first time? yes? no? well, i do that, and personally, i do because if i focus on my anger/hurt emotions any more, im going to explode and i dont want to explode. so, this instance about looking at the grooves in the binder and each of the components of it just hits with me, idk if does with you too, but like bruuh.
Asami has her hand over her mouth, silently sobbing, feeling as if she’ll throw up. She leans her head on her wheel, her mind wanders to what could’ve been, what should’ve been. She feels as if her car is closing in on her, that the metal is compacting. The seatbelt keeps her locked down to the driver’s seat and she can’t leave if she wants to. The Satomobile holds her hostage and she lets it. Even while it’s hurting her, even while it’s harshly molding itself onto her, she stays at her father’s heel because, what else is she to do?
this is one of my favorite things ive ever done with asami’s character, is using future industries/satomobiles as a sort of vehicle (heh) for her relationship with her dad. this paragraph just kind of hurts, but the good hurt? but also not good hurt? it’s just, (and not me over here boasting about my writing or anything) it’s so poetic that she has this breakdown and she’s so upset with her dad, i mean “what should’ve been” like, asami KNOWS that the shit that’s just happened is more than wrong, yet asami is still somehow wondering how she can please her dad and it’s in the literal legacy hiroshi built for himself. “she stays at her father’s heel because, what else is she to do?” i remember writing that and being like “shit, am i really gonna do this? yeah” ugh, i could go on forever about how i love this section, but i’ll stop here for now.
Asami begins yelling, screaming at the top of her lungs, letting all the thoughts, all the insecurities her father gave her finally be released into the world. Kuvira lets her, simply nodding and following along on the couch while Asami paces her living room. She spews out word after word, about the work, about the presentation, about Iroh, his position, her position, the company, the CEO, and she only stops when she feels the weight of her father rest on her shoulders.
back with more diction; i really love this paragraph because of how we circle back to hiroshi. note how i first say “the CEO” and then a few words later say “her father” because, in a way, this is asami’s confession that hiroshi is CEO first and father second, if i haven’t already explicitly said so. it’s so heart wrenching and sad but my favorite thing about it is this isn’t even about korra. like THIS right here is a prime example about how i realized this fic became more than just a love story. in the planning stages of this fic, asami was going to go through getting the presentation taken away from her, but what was she going to focus more on? the fact that korra wasn’t around anymore. and yes, asami still does think about korra after this, but so much more happens for her. asami gets to know kuvira more, asami gets to know her lab partners more, (and my personal hc is that they’ve all been lab partners for two years and only NOW asami is getting to be friends with them in their senior year, but hey, better late than never!) and to me, what’s even better, is that a bunch of realizations come to asami w/o korra being there. asami is growing and the idea of being able to grow without needing to have a partner in order to grow is so important to me, not only for the fact that growth should be endless and something you do all the time for yourself, but asami literally wants to share it with korra. not boast about changing and growing and becoming better, but just be better with korra. sdlfakds i swear, im fangirling over my own writing, oops
okay, moving on from The Meeting and onto the rest of the chapter
this dock scene was also another part i wrote beforehand and it had a completely different ending in that asami was going to ask korra out on a date. of course, korra would’ve said yes, and then yay yay happy ending. this didn’t happen and i’m glad it didn’t. in one version of this dock scene, asami was actually going to be upset with korra for disappearing, and even worse, mad that korra wasn’t there to comfort her after the presentation. oof, i know. so so glad i didn’t continue down that line, cause it is toxic, and my girls aren’t like that at all.
Once Korra’s eyes meet hers, Asami says, “That doesn’t mean you always have to be on your own.” She smiles at Korra, at the girl who’s turned her world upside down. Her hand remains on Korra’s cheek and she feels the girl sink into her palm. “I’ll be here for you, and it seems like Tenzin will be too, what with saying he was calling you more. And you have his family, and your own family, even though they’re away, they’re here to support you, we all are. You can still be strong and turn to other people for help. It takes great strength to ask for help and I know for a fact you’re strong enough, those bags of coffee beans were nothing for you.”
i like this line of dialogue here for a few reasons, mostly because asami is so soft and so right and the joke at the really helped lighten the mood but didn’t take away from what she’d just said before. i don’t have too much else about the Reunions section, though if you guys have any questions or anything you wanna point out, please do so! i think what i will say is that i tried to be as real and gentle with korra’s progression. i was so nitpicky about everything i wrote because i didn’t want to get any of it wrong or over dramatized or fake. recovery from anything is so important and it takes time and it’s not a straight line so i hope i did a good job with it the rest of the fic. 
moving on, i love the found family trope and this leads me into the next section, New Friends
when i think about this section, i like how soft it is, and i really enjoy the ending bits: korra recounting memories from the south, asami meeting tenzin. i think what i like about the end of this chapter is that, it kind of leaves the question: what’s next?
asami has grown, she’s changed, she sees the errors of her father’s ways but she’s not excusing them. korra has grown, she’s changing, she’s taken the first step in recovery. now it’s just a matter of, what happens with this growth now. and i really loved how i wrapped up the fic in the next and last chapter, so i hope you enjoy it too :))
honorable mentions:
there were a lot of changes in this chapter and one of them got changed twice! korra was gonna get a therapist but then i was like, we gotta get the krew together, and then i was like supppppoorttttt grouuuppppp, because lets be honest, all the krew has stuff they need to work through, and i know therapy isn’t for everyone, but mental health is so vital and important. asami is an advocate for therapy in the chapter but there are also other means to take care of yourself and your mental health and while i’ve never been to a support group, i understand finding comfort in knowing you’re not alone.
i guess what i’m trying to say is please take care of yourself and dont be afraid to lean on others. i know not everyone has the means to get a therapist/psychiatrist and i know that your friends aren’t made to only be your therapist. buuuut, don’t be afraid to reach out, there’s nothing wrong with needing help and support :)
anything i would’ve wanted to change?
honestly, i think the only thing i would’ve wanted to change was mako’s speech during the support group meeting. for me, it was a lil bit too poetically out of character. not to say i want to change the content, but rather the manner in which it’s presented. other than that though, i really loved writing this chapter :)
so this analysis was reeeaaaalllly long, i understand if not everyone made it to end. anyways, thanks so much for reading this analysis and the fic! once again, i’m very much open to questions and any comments, i love them very much! i’ll see you guys in the next analysis of the final chapter :)
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