#everything I’m manifested this year has come to me

[slayingandserving]

everyday I just make my little do to lists and check off my things and hope I’m doing good.

[vanessafaron]

How To Shift Realities

An in-depth guide by Vanessa Faron

Introduction & Disclaimer

By the time you are finished reading this, you will know how to shift. You will have all the information you need in order to shift to your desired realities. Whether you actually apply this information is your call. If you apply, you will shift.

If you come from a shifttok background like me, the chances are you’ve been exposed to an insane amount of misinformation and limiting beliefs. I managed to escape this through my own research but I’m aware not everyone has managed to do this. This is why I’m here. Shifttok is unfortunately still full of misinformation. I am not saying this with any malice or ill intention. I made this account to try and help.

Before I go any further I want to clarify a few things:

I do not think I’m a shifting God. I don’t have the ability to make you shift, you do. I’m merely here to provide all the information that I think is helpful in regards to the Law of Assumption, which is in my opinion, the key to shifting. I truly believe that we need to look at shifting through the manifestation lens in order to understand it.

If this rubs you the wrong way or doesn’t resonate, you don’t have to take my advice. Please be aware I will not be arguing about it anywhere.

Law of Assumption

Now, let's get into it. What is the Law of Assumption?

I don’t find it easy to summarise, but in the simplest of ideas it is that whatever you believe to be true, is true for you. It is not “just another shifting method” it is the reason for everything. This will make more sense later on.

Let me go over a few things you need to know about the Law.

Your imagination is reality. This is the most important bit of information I can give you. We’ve been taught to see the physical world as reality and that our imagination is just imagination. However, everything in our physical world comes from imagination. Our physical world is a direct reflection of us. Our assumptions, beliefs and our state/identity. The physical world is not a separate from us, we are in power over it.

I mentioned that the physical world is a reflection, so to make a simple analogy, think of it as a mirror. Now think of a real mirror. You look in the mirror and you don’t like your reflection. What do you do? Try and change the mirror? No, you don’t change the mirror. You change yourself. You fix your makeup, change your outfit, do your hair, whatever. You change yourself. The mirror now reflects your new look. Your new state. Your new story. This is how you should see reality. The physical world is reflecting your inner world. Therefore, how do you change the physical world? You change the inner world.

I will be using some shorter terms, so just to clarify:

Physical/outer world = 3D

Imagination/inner world = 4D

How to Apply

So how do you change the inner world?

It’s actually very simple. You just have to be the person who has what you want. I know that sounds vague so I will go into a bit more detail.

It all comes down to using your imagination.

Think about what you want. Since we are using the context of shifting, imagine your DR.

You can use various methods to imagine. Whether that’s visualisation, affirmations, scripting, whatever works for you. Use your imagination to see your DR. Use your imagination to be in your DR. Stay in imagination for a time and allow yourself to feel fulfilled. By fulfilled, I don’t mean that you have to feel strong emotions, you just need to feel fulfilled in the fact that you are already there. How do you know you are already there? You saw it in imagination. Imagination is reality.

When you accept that you are in your DR through imagination, your state naturally changes. What is your state? Your I AM. Your I AM/state is who you are. The reason some of you are not shifting is because your I AM is “I am someone who hasn’t shifted. I am someone who hasn’t shifted in the 4 years I’ve been trying.” The second you identify as a master shifter, you are a master shifter. Start saying “I am a master shifter.” Start saying “I am someone who has already shifted. I am someone who is currently in my DR.”

So then what? Simple. You continue with your day knowing that you have already shifted. Remember, you saw your DR in imagination, your reality. You have accepted that it’s true for you because it is. You are already there. You have already shifted. All you need to do is persist in the knowledge that you have already shifted. There is literally nothing else you need to do.

What? That’s it? Yep, that’s it.

What about attempting to shift? Why would you attempt to shift when you’ve already shifted?

What about methods? You. Do. Not. Need. Methods.

Thoughts on Methods

Unfortunately a lot of shifters are very heavily focused on methods. The general assumption of that community is that you just need to find the right method for you. This is false. The shift comes from you accepting your new reality and letting go of the old one. Methods can help you get there but they are NOT what makes you shift. You are what makes you shift. I need everyone to understand this.

I am not saying methods are useless. They’re not. They really do help some people. I never liked them or found them useful but I understand why some people do. If they work for you, wonderful. Use them. However, I stand by the fact you don’t need them. This is a controversial take but you also don’t need to meditate to shift. Again, I’m not saying meditation is useless because it’s definitely not. It is a great tool for regulating your nervous system when unwanted thoughts pop up and for observing your thoughts coming in. You do not need it to shift.

Another limiting belief that some shifters still have is that you need to “detach from your CR” in order to shift. That you have to be in an altered state of consciousness. You don’t. Shifting is instantaneous and it can happen at any time in any state. Wide awake, while asleep, it can happen ANY TIME. You are not travelling to another reality. You are changing the reality around you using the power of your consciousness. We shift awake literally all the time. It is no different when shifting to your DR.

How to Shift

To summarise it down to a step-by-step “method”, here is how to shift realities:

1. Identify where you want to be.

2. Be there in imagination.

3. Accept your imagination as reality. You have already shifted. You are already there.

4. Persist in the knowing that you have shifted and there’s nothing else to do.

That’s it. It is that easy.

There are a few more things I want to talk about to really make sure you are getting the most out of this information.

A lot of us feel 3D oriented, which I totally understand. We got into shifting with the intention of physically being in our DRs. Don’t worry, you will be. However, in order to physically shift you need to internally shift. By doing this, you need to take power away from the 3D. If you see your DR in imagination, then return to the physical world and start thinking “well where is it” or “why am I not there yet” you are not really understanding this.

The second you start looking at the 3D for confirmation that you’ve shifted is when you give power back to the 3D and you start thinking from a place of lack. You have to look within for your validation. The validation will always come from YOU. As I said before, your 4D is where “creation” begins. So when you are feeling doubts, return to imagination to feel fulfilled and then carry on with your day, keeping the feeling of knowing that you’ve already shifted because you HAVE.

YOU SAW IT IN IMAGINATION. YOUR REALITY. YOU HAVE ALREADY SHIFTED. YOU ARE ALREADY THERE.

That is literally all you need to do. Your 3D will naturally conform.

Don’t worry about the how and the when in regards to the physical shift. The how will happen however it happens, and the when doesn’t matter because time isn’t real anyway. You just have to know that it is done the second you see it in your imagination. It is done. The how and the when is none of your concern, you are already there. You’ve shifted! Congratulations!

Another thing I feel the need to address:

I’m aware some of you guys are shifting to escape from your current realities. I was like you and I completely understand and sympathise. I will give you the advice that helped me but if it doesn’t resonate, I apologise and understand.

Circumstances only have an affect on us because we give them meaning. Nothing has meaning until we give it meaning. There’s a phrase that helped me deal with unfavourable 3D circumstances: Observe, don’t absorb. Observe the unwanted things but don’t let it shake your knowing that you have already shifted. None of it matters because you are not here anymore. This did take me a while to come to grips with, so give it time. But keep on applying this and things will seem much easier. I applied this and after a while my anxiety levels were at an all time low and nothing was able to shake the knowing that I was already in my DR. Nothing here mattered. I already shifted.

Summary and Final Thoughts

Finally, to summarise again, here’s how to shift using the Law:

Change your state by changing your I am, using your imagination and accepting that you have already shifted. Persist in that knowledge. That is all.

As I mentioned before, a lot of you guys enjoy methods, which is totally cool, so if you would like to continue with methods, just identify as someone who shifts every time they do their method. If you still wake up in your CR when you do your method, no you didn’t. You successfully shift every time, remember? Just persist in that knowing and it will reflect in your reality.

This is all the information you need. However, if you would like to do your own research like I did, I recommend EdwardArt on YouTube and the Neville Goddard subreddit. They made it click for me.

Now go shift.

[lovewithmary]

Okay I’m gathering all my brain power for these and repurposing my own aus in my head 😼

Anyways imagine Dutch princess reader x lando. Hear me out okay so imagine every year when they hand out the trophies in the Netherlands reader hands it out and she’s friends with max because of him being their pride and joy of the country. Blind item comes in to duexmoi (want the person to be anon but their tag is like orange land or something that plays off orange and the fact that lando has the joke that natherlands is like a second home race)(idk how to spell it I’m not a gossip follower) about a certain Dutch princess with a f1 driver and everyone immediately assumes max and reader. Lando could hard launch them being like wrong orange boy or they could just be spotted on winter break having a vacation together. Imagine they met at like a gp when lando podiumed there (im manifesting for this season) and like when she was visiting garages there he rizzed her up

Idk you could scrap everything and I would still eat it up 🫶😽

WRONG DRIVER — LN4

summary: in which people think that you and max are dating, but lando is determined to prove them wrong

pairing: dutch princess!y/n x lando norris

fc: elle fanning

masterlist

notes: for my pookie @renarots 🫶 also not me saying i have writer's block and don't know when I'll post but when rena sends me an ask I 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ to write

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, and 1230223 others

princessy/n: thank you to f1 for inviting me and for letting me present the awards once again! and congrats to maxverstappen1, landonorris, and charles_leclerc for podium!

comments

user1: THE PADDOCK PRINCESS (LITERALLY) 🫶

user2: max and lando in the likes?/? ↳ user3: they literally got mentioned by Y/N???

user4: Y/N growing up attending gps to actually presenting in one is such a full circle moment for her

user5: Y/N you are literally the most fashionable person when you attend the paddock, please teach max 🙏🙏 ↳ princessy/n: i've tried, but he's too attached to being a walking-talking sponsor for his team ↳ maxverstappen1: says the one who's obsessed with a certain jacket 👀 ↳ user6: WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?

landonorris: 🧡🧡

liked by maxverstappen1, f1, mclaren, and 9438143 others

landonorris: can't imagine being with anyone except you 🧡

tagged: princessy/n

comments

user1: lando saw people were speculating Y/N dating max and proving EVERYONE wrong 😭

user2: the hand placements in the photos AHHHHHH

user3: lando fr said wrong driver

maxverstappen1: now say thank you max for setting us up ↳ princessy/n: thank you max <3 ↳ landonorris: thank you max 😄

princessy/n: THAT BIRTHDAY PHOTO IS A CRIME ↳ landonorris: no it's cute it's my lockscreen

maxfewtrell: the fact i've been present for most of these moments tell me i should hang out with you guys less ↳ princessy/n: don't lie max, you're just waiting for the perfect time to take lando away from me 😒 ↳ maxfewtrell: lando's always been mine, don't lie

user4: lando dating THE Y/N aka THE PRINCESS was not on my bingo card for this year

princessy/n: my love 🧡 ↳ landonorris: my princess 🧡

[majosullivan]

Nevermore Dashboard Simulator

🌷 many-coloured-grass Follow

Can we all agree to stop making jokes about each other’s deaths? Making light of someone’s death even as a joke is really gross

🪦 deadgirlwalking Follow

No I was murdered so I can reclaim it

85,958 notes

⏳ dream-within-a-dream Follow

Okay but can someone tell me how posts here are getting so many notes? There’s like around 100 people at the academy and I’m frequently seeing posts with well over 1,000 notes. Like, it would be one thing if these posts were years old but some of them are from 2 days ago. Did I just miss the memo and everyone here has at least 10+ accounts, like WHERE are you guys coming from?

👻 hourofsecrecy Follow

Can the spirits not show their appreciation for people’s commentery? Can the creatures of the night not find humour in wits and gists of others? What is the difference from the newly departed and the Unseen Ones?

⏳ dream-within-a-dream Follow

Absolutely horrific answer, thank you for your time

26,496 notes

🪱 conqueror-of-worms Follow

Tell me why it’s around eight in the morning and the first thing I see while heading to the dining hall is Lenore PINING Annabel Lee AGAINST A WALL

☠️ spookyxskeletons Follow

🪱 conqueror-of-worms Follow

Care to clarify who the hell you were referring to in this post?

☠️ spookyxskeletons Follow

Yes

3,270 notes

🎈 floatinghoax Follow

After everything the afterlife could have been, you’re telling me that I have to go to SCHOOL and have CLASSES that start at 9AM? Truly tempted to walk straight into the wasteland, there’s only so much a second chance at life is worth

#not to mention with have fucking ROOMMATES #this academy is MASSIVE #you’re telling me there isn’t enough room for single rooms in this place?

7,984 notes

🥀 wilted-rose Follow

I’m curious, who do you guys think you could take in their spectre forms?

🥀 wilted-rose Follow

IN A FIGHT

69,285 notes

🎶 decomposingmusic Follow

You’re not about to manifest your spectre, you’re just dehydrated

🩰 ghosting-giselle Follow

out of the way gay boy i’m boutta separate myself from my remaining mortal ties and embrace the abilites of my spiritual form

🩰 ghosting-giselle Follow

nures rom

173,032 notes

🌙 voyage-to-the-moon Follow

do you think the Deans wake up every day, take one look at us before telling Ms. Poppet ‘PUT THOSE BEASTS IN SITUATIONS!’

2,396 notes

🌃 eveningstar Follow

Does anyone know if Duke and Pluto (the two boys friends with Lenore) are an item or not? Cause any time I’ve seen them interact, Duke has consistently referred to Pluto as Mon Minou (my kitten in french) and I’m not sure if the two of them are together or if they’re just…Like That

🌃 eveningstar Follow

UPDATE: SO IT TURNS OUT PLUTO DIDN’T KNOW WHAT MON MINOU MEANT AND FOUND OUT THROUGH MY POST. HIM AND DUKE HAVE BEEN BICKERING ABOUT IT ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE DORM ROOMS

🌃 eveningstar Follow

Despite what you would think would occur from this development, none of this has answered by original question

#I was just curious if these two were gay or just European #by all accounts they might be both

6,974 notes

🍋 gives-you-lemons Follow

I think I’m about half with through the manor right now? Honestly this lesson is going much better than I expected!

🍋 gives-you-lemons Follow

RATS RATS RATS RATS RATS RATS R&)26?83@/$

5,052 notes

☔️ dew-dropped-nights Follow

[about to be eaten by one of the monsters in the Teraphobia trial] okay but do you think I’m cute? Be honest

4,824 notes

🪐 eureka Follow

Do you think that Annabel Lee and Lenore have ever explored each others bodies

🌷 many-coloured-grass Follow

Can you fucking not do this? Not only are they real people, they’re our classmates and clearly can’t stand each other. Stuff like this is weird and gross

🔮 sorcery-sorcery-sorcery Follow

I bet they fucked nasty up at the widow’s watch

🥂 drinking-into-the-grave Follow

This is actually how Lenore won the Mystery Manor lesson

☠️ spookyxskeletons Follow

Sometimes that butch pussy gets you acting unwise

🏵️ pendulum-in-the-pit Follow

THAT

WHAT

🪦 deadgirlwalking Follow

What’s not clicking

29,496 notes

[suuuupernovaaa]

Neteyam is angry with his beloved, and doesn’t know what to do with those feelings.

The anger deep in the pits of his stomach is manifesting in restlessness. Neteyam cannot sit still. He is pacing, throwing his arms around, shaking, anything to keep the thoughts at bay.

The image of her, bloodied, gone from him forever. He can’t shake it. Her last breath shuddering from her chest, while he wails at her side.

He throws his head back, squeezing his eyes tightly shut, willing the picture away.

“Neteyam?” his mother’s calm voice comes from just outside his mauri pod. “Come,” she beckons, and like a good son, he follows.

His mother leads him to her, where she sits at Lo’ak’s bedside, holding his hand while the healer tends to him.

He stares at her chest, watching it rise and fall, taking in healthy breaths. Her eyes dart around as tears pool in them, threatening to spill over onto her dirty cheeks.

She looks up and sees him, and clouds cross her face. His mother kneels next to her and gently nudges her, until his mate to be releases Lo’ak into his mother’s care and stands up to join Neteyam.

He turns and exits, and his beloved follows.

Far away from any prying ears, Neteyam leads them to the beach, not stopping until they are ankle deep in the quiet waters.

“I’m sorry, Neteyam,” the woman says with fear in his voice, and his anger only grows. “I did try to stop him. I’m so sorry.”

Neteyam hates himself. He hates himself for being blind, and foolish, and angry. This woman was promised to him when they were only children, and he took her for granted these nearly 18 years since. She was always there, and he grew accustomed to her presence. He forgot to delight in her.

Seeing her this morning, on the ground next to his brother, covered in blood and as still as the stars, sent such a panic and rage through him that he realized it for the first time.

The depth of his love for her. The way her smile and voice are like a warm embrace. How much he needs to see and touch her every day. How desperate he is to claim her as his own, in every way.

She is everything to him, and he thought he had lost her.

“When I saw you there, I thought you were dead. I thought I’d lost you forever.” His voice is small, measured, and he is so close to breaking into tears.

She reaches out to him, and he leans into her touch, her fingers gently resting on his cheek.

“I’m whole, ‘Teyam. I would not leave you yet.”

He opens his eyes to see her smiling.

“I’ve been so angry all day that you put yourself in danger.”

Her smile fades and he knows, for certain, that she did not realize he cared that much. He has failed her in this.

“I’ve done you a disservice, by not expressing to you before now how ardently and wholly I love you.”

He would have been too embarrassed to say the words before today, but nearly losing her has changed everything.

“You are everything to me. Absolutely everything,” he says. “I won’t lose you. Not due to your own misplaced bravery, or my brother’s foolishness. You won’t be out of my sight, from this moment forward.”

He doesn’t care how controlling it sounds. He won’t risk her for anything. Nothing else compares to her.

She steps forward and wraps her arms around his waist. He pulls her tightly to him, breathing in the saltwater scent of her braided hair as he rests his chin on the top of his head.

“I love you too. You can be my shadow, if it brings you comfort.”

He can feel her lips turn up in a smile against the skin of his chest, and he smiles too.

Her shadow.

That sounds good.

[bkglovergirl]

Hi there! So I was wondering if you could make a fic about bakugou x reader, where she and bakugou were childhood friends similar to him and deku, but the reader has been obvious about her crush on him, always complimenting him, telling him she likes him, even going to UA with him.

He would always straight up rejects her but lowkey likes her, (moving forward to kats arc where hes being a better person lol) the reader still makes him bentos from time to time, always follows him but it doesn't seem to 'irritate' him as much (hes just so happy with her always taking his side), patching him up ect. you get the picture

that is until a girl from class B started taking a liking to bakugou as well and theres a senario where reader gets the wrong idea and think that they're dating class B bitch who always tries to get on her nerves, but in reality bakugou straight up rejects her

reader changing bla bla bla, bakugou being like "WHYD YOU STOP BABYING ME STUPID ASS??!"

readers like "wtf?" bakugous like, "if you we have a problem talk to me, im your bf after all"

sorry if its long. i had a wonderful dream id like to relive ❤️

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Bakugou X Reader

Childhood friends to lovers

I love the miscommunication trope, the ending is a little bit different.

Word Count: 2.3k

ೃ⁀➷

Ever since you could remember and much to Bakugou’s dismay you, Deku, and him have been childhood best friends. One thing is very well known between the trio. You have the biggest crush on Katsuki Bakugou. You make sure it’s known. The first time you realized you liked him, you told him almost right away. You both were around the age of seven and were at a playground fooling around. Neither of you guys had gotten your quirks and you “trained” at this particular playground every day whenever you could. You were running chasing the “villain” Deku around and around. Both your faces had dirt covered and you knew with how your clothes looked your mom was gonna be upset at you but who cares? You didn't.

“I’m gonna get you!”

“Nuh-uh!” Deku runs behind the slide and you follow after. 

“Boo! Huh?” He had disappeared, quickly you looked around and saw him running up onto the base of the playhouse and into one of the small tunnels that connect the two. You run after. Not paying attention you miss one of the steps on the stairs and fall. Bakugou close behind went to go catch you and it was right then and there his quirk manifested and burned your arm as he grabbed you. “Ow! Ow!” You whined looking up at Bakugou. 

“Are you okay?!” Deku comes running back down towards you both and you are slightly dazed so Bakugou asks again, “Are you okay!”

“Your quirk! Bakugou your quirk!!” 

“I KNOW STUPID BUT ARE YOU OKAY?” You and Deku both give each other a look before looking at Bakugou. 

“Yes, I’m okay!” you lied. “Bakugou, your quirk!” He smiled, and it was almost like you watched his ego form right then and there. 

‘Hell yeah, I got my quirk before you two!' He turns and puts his arm out away from you guys and gives a small blast. “Look how cool it is!” After some of the excitement dies down, you manage to beg Bakugou to give you a piggyback as he walks you home after you both drop off Deku. “I don’t see the point in this.” He adjusts you on his back a bit to make it more comfortable for himself.

“Think of this as payback.” You giggle as you hear him groan. “Hey Bakugou?”

“What.”

“I like you.”

ೃ⁀➷

Years later you guys got into UA together and lucky for you and Izuku, in the same classroom as well. Confessing to Katsuki happens at least every other week, and him rejecting you happens every time. You both have gotten into a schedule. You’d walk to school and on certain days bring him a Bento box. You’d go to class and try and do everything with him if Mr Aizawa allows it. At the end of the day, Katsuki always walks you to your dorm before walking to his. 

You knock on Katsuki's door and hear some grumbling before he answers the door, “Why can’t I get you at your dorm? Why do you always come to mine?” You shrug and hand him the Bento box you made him. “You gotta stop making these.”

“You say that, but you love it!” he rolls his eyes and takes it out of your hands. You both start walking to class together. “So I was thinking you and I could pair up because I heard Izuku and Todoroki are gonna pair up.” 

“Why do you always wanna pair up together.” “To save you from the embarrassment of not getting picked.”

“I would get picked!”

“Absolutely not.” You go to open the door to the classroom but Katsuki quickly opens it for you, you smile and walk in. 

You follow him to lunch and sit next to him. He grumbles his small complaint but quickly eats the food he complained about. He never says thank you or compliments the food, but you know he appreciates it by how empty he leaves the bento once he’s done. “It’s cold.”

“Stop complaining, maybe you should have brought your jacket.”

“Alright asshole my fault I forgot it!” The bickering goes back a forth a bit before you stand up, “Walk without me I need to talk to Denki about something.”

“Whatever.”

ೃ⁀➷

You switch the song on your phone before putting it in your skirt pocket and walk to class. You smile seeing Katsuki ahead of you and run to catch up but stop quickly. Katsuki is handing a girl his jacket and she’s smiling at him. Your heart sinks and you feel nauseous as you watch him open the door for the girl. You look at his face. ‘Is he blushing?!’ you bite the inside of your cheek and walk into the classroom. You hear Katsuki call after you but you ignore him. The small banter between you two is non-existent and the whole class quickly takes notice because you are uncomfortably quiet. The notes Katsuki passes to you go unread and you push them off your desk. Katsuki is panicking in his head, he is going through every single thing he’s done today and he can’t think of anything he has done wrong. You were fine at lunch and if anything happened you wouldn't ignore him, if anything you'd whine and complain to him about it. To Katsuki’s surprise, he’s really annoyed you aren't complaining to him. The bell rings and you quickly stuff your bag with all your things and speed walk to the door. “Hi is Katsu there?!” of course, you would run into her and Katsu?! Who the fuck does she think she is? Everyone is staring at the two of you, you step to the side to let the girl in and she runs up to Katsuki. “Katsu!” Your classmate's eyes follow the girl and look at you thinking the same exact thing you are. You shrug and walk out.

ೃ⁀➷

The next morning you walk to the classroom by yourself. Denki and Izuku come to check on you but you wave them off saying you are okay. Before they both walk away you quickly ask Denki to be partners in training. He gives a look to Izuku before agreeing. Katsuki walks in minutes later, late. He tries to talk to you but Aizawa tells him to get into his seat and he obeys. 

Training starts a couple of hours later, and just like you guessed, no one wants to partner with Katsuki. He watched as you walked over to Denki when Aizawa announced that you all should grab partners. He’s crushed but shakes it off. His pride stops him from walking up to you. Kirishima takes one for the team and partners up with Katsuki. The training goes well, and surprisingly, you and Denki are a great team.

“I think we should be a team more often, Y/N!” You smile, agreeing with him. The next set of teams that are put against each other are You and Denki vs. Kirishima and Katsuki. During the whole fucking battle you manage to avoid Katsuki, you don’t know how you manage to pull that off and neither does he because he tried so hard to come after you specifically. By the end of the battle you and Denki come out victorious and Katsuki is pissed. Katsuki rips off his gauntlet looking at you and Denki walking off together and talking.

“Denki I-”

“Kaminari.” he corrects.

“Kaminari.” You smile. “I just don’t get it. Who the fuck is that girl?! Where did she come from? I’m with Katsuki so much how did I not notice there was another girl.”

“Doesn't he reject you all the time?”

“A part of me doesn't like it’s a rejection. He likes the things I do for him, but his rejection seems like a wait, not a no.” you put your hands up to your face, “I’ve liked him since we were little. The memory of me first liking him is imprinted into my body! How do you just get over that? How do you get over Katsuki Bakugou.” Kaminari puts his hand out to stop you from walking into a wall. You look at him and his face is looking at you with confusion.

“What do you mean by imprinted?” You roll up your sleeve and show him the big scar that was left on your body. 

“This happened when his quirk first manifested. It was by accident and instead of celebrating his quirk he made sure I was okay first.”

“That doesn't sound like Bakugou.”

“I KNOW!” You rest your back against the wall, and Kaminari leans against it facing you. You don’t know how long you talked, but at some point, the talking turned into scheming. Katsuki comes walking up and the girl is right next to him talking away and honestly, he’s annoyed. It takes everything in him not to scream in her face. He sees you first. Then he sees Kaminari leaning against the wall next to you. At the same time, you see him first. Then the girl walking next to him. He takes note that he’s changed and cleaned up after training, you guys aren't even changed out of your hero outfits and are still all messy. The training ended an hour ago. He stops walking which the girl next to him takes as a green light to wrap her arms around his arm. Kaminari notices and quickly stands in front of you to block your line of view.

“Don’t look it’s only gonna hurt more.”

“Come to my dorm.”

“What?”

“Come to my dorm right now.” You grab his arm and drag him away aggressively. Kaminari has to stop himself from complaining your grip hurts.

ೃ⁀➷

Katsuki got up early enough to get to your dorm room. He knows this is the time you leave, he knows your exact schedule to the T. He knows your whole life and who you're close with so he’s honestly so fucking confused why you walk out of your dorm room and run up to Denki fucking Kaminari. On top of that, you hand him a bento box. His fucking Bento box. He’s stunned and stands there like a dumb ass watching as you walk away with him.

Class is giving him a headache. He just feels the need to take as many pain pills as he can. You and Denki have been joking around non-stop and it doesn't help that you sit in front of Katsuki and Denki sits in front of you. The class feels like forever. There is no training today so it is just class and he doesn't know how long he can just sit here and watch as you painfully ignore him. He concludes he’ll talk to you before lunch but that plan is quickly foiled as the girl from class 1B comes barging into the classroom like she owns the place and attaches herself to him. Katsuki watches as you stare a second before Kaminari puts an arm around your shoulder and walks you out of the room as quickly as he can. He makes a new plan that he’ll talk to you at lunch but that plan is also quickly ruined as the girl blocks him at his table so he can’t get up and go to you. So as your plan goes perfectly, he gets a perfect view of you and Kaminari sitting and having lunch together. He then makes plan number three, he’ll follow you around until he gets the perfect moment to yell at you. It’s perfect. He follows you to class with the annoying girl talking away. He sits in pain the whole rest of class as he watches you and Kaminari fool around the whole time.

ೃ⁀➷

“Why are you following me around.” You turn to look at him. You landed at your childhood park once you realized Katsuki was following you around. It’s cold and you hug yourself.

“So she speaks.”

“Don’t be an ass Bakugou. Why are you following me?” Katsuki’s stomach sinks. At least he knows how you feel now.

“Bakugou?! What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

“What’s wrong with me?”

‘Don’t act fucking stupid.” He takes off his jacket and gets closer to you, You take a step back. “See what I mean?! I’m trying to give you my jacket and you step away from me! What the fuck Y/N!”

“Sorry, I don’t want what another girl got.”

“What are you- oh…”

“Yeah oh! Kaminari told me I wasn't being stupid but maybe I am! Maybe I should have stopped liking you when you rejected me the first time! BUT NO!” you get closer grabbing his shirt, “You make it so fucking difficult to not be in love with you!” He stares at you and leans down, as much as you don’t want to, you push him away. “No this had gotta stop. I’m not gonna let you keep toying with me and I gotta stop being so delusional.”

“You aren't being delusional.”

“Really because that girl has gotten more attention than I have gotten from you in years. Every time I confess since we were kids you act like I didn't say anything!”

“I just wasn't ready for things to change.” you scoff at him.

“It was always going to change! Did you like dragging me along? Where did that other girl come from?” you sit down on one of the swings and kick some wood chips. Putting your hands on the chain.

“I just wanted to make sure I liked you and I wasn't just… I don't fucking know! You're the only girl who has been in my life that wasn't my mom!” you glare at him.

“Wow.”

“Listen Y/N, I know it was stupid but I just needed to know before our relationship changed and I fucked everything up.” “So what was this conclusion from your stupid fucking experiment?” Katsuki takes this as a green light to come closer to you. You don’t say anything.

“That no girl compares.”

“Wow, Romeo it took you that long?” Katsuki stands in front of you and puts his hand on top of yours. You look up at him.

“Yeah, I know.”

“I’m not confessing again.”

“I know.” He leans down and kisses you. 

[wintersera]

special gift || g!p karina x f!reader

notes: merry christmas!! hope y’all enjoy this smutfic… also “short fic” my ass i got carried away again 😭

cw: g!p karina, top!karina, bottom!reader, somnophilia, established relationship

wc: 1.7k

having a girlfriend who was one of the top idols in the industry was seriously a pain in the ass. sure you were lucky with dating THE karina from hit south korean girl group aespa, but fuck, you hated whenever jimin was basically never at home. during comebacks she was always booked and busy, and unfortunately this year, her schedules were packed tightly; solo gigs, advertisements, photoshoots on top of show after show, variety show shoots, etc.

you had cursed lee-fuckass-sooman for being such a shitty ceo and never letting his idols take a short break, even for christmas. all that cursing and manifesting towards that man in hopes that he would do something pulled through, because guess what, you woke up to the sound of your phone going off, a text message from your beloved girlfriend.

you honestly were tired as fuck, you knocked out as soon as she said ‘wait for me’, but with all the anticipation and adrenaline of seeing your girlfriend for the first time, in what? a few months, you were too excited to sleep any longer than an hour.

up at the ass crack of dawn cleaning your entire apartment, every single room had to be spotless, cleaned to perfection, shiny to the point of where you can see your face. not only that, but with christmas being literally today, you had to put up last minute decorations since you were too lazy to set up everything during your finals week, although you were busy as hell, so you couldn’t really decorate regardless, anything for your girlfriend i guess.

cleaning the entire apartment took hours, you were at it for so long that you didn’t even realise it was noon, and then decorating took way too long that in a flash it was already the evening and the sun was setting. oh shit, you realised jimin would be coming home soon, and you had no present to give her.

unless….

anyways, as a little treat, since jimin hadn’t seen you in so damn long, you thought it would be nice to dress up for her. even though you will be staying inside with her all day, dressing as santa would be on theme. rummaging through your closet, you find an off shoulder santa dress you bought last year for a party, pairing that with a set of lingerie, yeah you could be jimin’s ‘present’.

it was getting late, really really late, and even though you knew jimin said she was gonna come home at god knows what time, you couldn’t help but feel a little disheartened. you checked your phone, 11:07pm, no messages, no calls from her. you wondered if she stayed behind, knowing her, she would’ve stayed helping someone out if they really needed her, she was kind like that.

you laid on the couch feeling sleepy, all the effort put into making your apartment look presentable and christmas-y took a large toll on your body. seconds go by and you feel your eyes shutting, and your body relaxing.

thirty minutes.

the jingling of jimin’s keys could be heard from a few metres away. she knocked excitedly at the door expecting you to open up and jump into her arms, but nothing. she thought it was a little strange, you’d always opened the door and greeted her with a grin whenever she was able to visit, however you didn’t answer, not even your phone.

jimin thanked you for giving her spare keys just in case a situation like this happened, or a situation where she wanted to surprise you after your uni classes. has it happened? a few of times, yes. she came to your apartment and diligently waited for you with a cake on the table. but besides that, jimin waltzed into the apartment sighing and unzipping her massive puffer jacket “baby i’m home” her voice trailing off as she notices you sleeping on the couch “aww, did you doze off waiting for me? you’re so cute y/n” she was kind enough to lift you up and carry you to the bed, but only a few seconds later she realises what you were wearing.

jimin gently places you on top of your blanket, her face tinted a slight shade of red, your skirt hiked up a little for her to see. she pressed a shaky hand on her lips, wondering if she should really do what she was thinking, knowing you, she thought it would be okay. you’ve established this before, if it comes to jimin coming back to yours and you’re fast asleep, you told her it would be one hundred percent okay for her to wake you up by fucking you.

she sighs heavily and coughs, her hand shakily steadying herself on the bed, hovering right above you. with ease, she took off your dress leaving you with your lingerie on “why’d you have to be asleep. i’m so hard right now you don’t understand” her pants becoming increasingly uncomfortable with every passing second. caressing your skin gently before she unhooked the bra hook at the front, she begins to tease around your already hard nipples, building up her own arousal. a soft mewl escapes your lips, jimin’s teasing gradually turning into heated touches. each touch amplified your moaning, which in favour made jimin reach her breaking point, sliding her cargos off easily, she frantically tugs at the waistband of her boxers before tending to your panties.

spreading your legs apart so she can slot herself in between your thighs, you gradually come into consciousness, blinking your eyes a few times before your vision clears up “mmm… jimin?” you whispered, voice a little husky.

“finally, you’re awake. can we, you know… have sex?” she asks seriously. you giggle at the older girl, you look at her dearly.

“of course we can” noted, she draws herself closer, so close that her lips tickle your own. your arms wrap around jimin’s neck pulling her down, kissing her sweetly and softly. as she gives into the slow kiss, jimin adjusts herself comfortably between your legs, her hard cock against your bare pussy “you’re already hard” you say as you break the kiss.

“you look too cute, i couldn't help it” giggling as she pecks your lips twice before she turns your face to the side slowly kissing your jaw all the way down to your neck “were you dressed as my christmas gift?” huffing each time she stops kissing your neck.

“y-yeah” voice wavering “sorry i wanted to greet you, but i got too sleepy” you whimper softly as she pushes the tip of her cock slowly inside of your pussy.

“that’s okay, i know you did this all for me” you hum happily as she kisses your cheek, “you’ve made christmas so special, and i didn’t get you anything either, so let me treat you tonight” jimin licks her lips in arousal, attentively watching you wince as she pushes the rest of her length inside. one thing jimin loved about being intimate with you is the way you were so reactive to her touches, she always loved how easy it was to make you call out her name while your hands gripped her arm. the way you got so lost in pleasure, the way you sweetly moaned with each thrust, how you had to have your hands somewhere on jimin’s body just to feel even closer, jimin loved it all.

jimin began rolling her hips, her cock being long enough to hit almost every spot that made you squirm beneath her “how are you feeling, does my cock make you feel good?” you couldn’t answer simply with words, rather you responded with rapid ‘hm’s’ and ‘mhm’s’ all while she drove herself deeper. she leaned down and pressed her lips against yours once again, this time sliding in her tongue. you moaned into her mouth, her passion and skill making you feel dizzy and weak from the overwhelming pleasure you were receiving. jimin grinned into the kiss, knowing that she was the only one who could make you feel this way made her heart flutter.

she kept pumping in and out, quickening up the pace in one second, and then stopping abruptly the other second, just to see you hit her shoulder lightly and tell her to speed up while you moved your hips around her shaft, then suddenly speeding up again, catching you off guard and making you yelp.

she continues to rock hard and fast, giving you no time to think for yourself. your stomach plummets feeling like you were about to explode “fu.. fuck. jimin, i- i feel like i’m gonna cum” any other words after sounded like a bunch of garbled nonsense, the words ‘close’ being repeated a few times. to bring you closer to the edge, jimin took her fingers, put them softly into your mouth for you to suck them obediently, took them out and rubbed your clit slow circles. you moaned loud in response, her fingers skilfully playing with your clit as her thrusts grew harsher and consistent.

“ah… me too, god i’m so close-“ jimin kept going, her harsh thrust weakened her arms, forcing her to press her body against yours. she couldn’t take it much longer, her cock twitching and her tip overly sensitive “gonna.. i’m gonna cum, fuck” her hips jolted, her face nuzzling in between your neck as she attempts to hide a long moan. not so long after, you followed in suit, feeling her warm semen filling the insides of your pussy made you lose it. you gripped jimin’s bicep as you threw your head onto the soft pillow, legs twitching in response to jimin’s fingers still rubbing your clit.

a few seconds of relishing in ecstasy go by, you and your lover breathing heavily, catching your breath while you caress jimin’s hair lovingly. you tapped her shoulder “you okay baby?” she got up from between your neck, her baby hairs sticking to her forehead,

“merry christmas babe” smiling sweetly as she kisses your forehead, “i’m okay, it felt too good i almost blacked out” she pulled out, watching you again as you frowned subtly. jimin held back a giggle, you were just too cute “come on babe, let's get up. i’ll run a bath for the both of us”

“you’re so sweet jimin, i love you so much”

“i love you too y/n, merry christmas you cutie”

[charmedreincarnation]

Hey angels! I’m still on break but I wanted to show you guys how powerful the law is, and how it’s in effect with everything even when we don’t notice!

Here’s everything I’ve manifested in this year alone !

🌸70,000$ in school scholarships. My tuition does not even cost that much so most of it will be coming back to my credit card shortly

🌸an older sister. I’m the oldest child in my household, and as any older sibling knows it’s so hard. You have to lead, yet have no one to look up to for advice yourself. Anyways my dad got in touch with his old wife, and my mom who was once reluctant to let my half siblings in my life, now encouraged it! My older half sister is literally just like me. We now FaceTime, she defends me when I’m scared, she buys me stuff all the time because she has hella money, and I go to her apartment for sleep overs. I am very lucky and happy to finally have the older sister I’ve always wanted.

🌸an old friendship! I remember in 2020 I was friends with this girl and we were both super depressed, had similar circumstances, and were into manifesting+astrology. I’m sure she’s one my twin flame, and the friendship ended over the dumbest thing ever. Anyways for a year I used dumb methods like the 333 method, sp methods to get her to text me, stuff like that. I ended up giving up but earlier this year I was thinking about her, yanno just wondering where she is. She sent me a heart felt apology the next day. I manifested her without even trying!

🌸All As in school without trying.

🌸losing weight the more I eat. Y’all I’m 5’5 and 112 pounds, yet I eat like an Olympic gold medalists. I don’t even eat healthy and knowing myself.. well that’s something that’s not going to change lol. Anytime I would eat a lot, I would just say the more I eat, the more I lose and the healthier I am…and I never gained a single pound. Only lost! Don’t worry I’m still healthy and my doctors say I’m in a healthy range still, so as long as that continues healthily I’m fine.

🌸my family winning the lottery through the void state. I won’t say specific numbers but it’s in the 7 figure range, and was my first void success! I’m going to keep manifesting and exploring the void to have more stuff in the future!

🌸(dumb) but clearing my name in the unique situation. i remember just affirming the truth always comes out and she got exposed a few hours later. aside from the hate from her anons, I left the situation unscathed for the most part 😮‍💨

🌸not having seasonal depression this year. I did not manifest my depression or anxiety away for personal reasons, before anyone starts! But due to the combination of manifesting and just having a better overall life, it honestly did not affect me much this year.

🌸getting results from subliminals without even listening to them. I left my subliminal era a couple of years ago, and I don’t really use them anymore. But sometimes I come across a really cool one with dope benefits, and I want to use it bc.. why not lol. But I don’t really like listening to them, so I just wrote down that I can listen to it once and after that my brain memorizes the sequence and it works it out repeatedly even when it’s not playing and I’ve definitely noticed results.

🌸manifesting my best friend’s cancer away! I already made a post about this, but this was my favorite manifestation of this year.

🌸every single one of my shifts

🌸so many free things!

🌸and so much more, but these are my favorites!

[bts-princess7]

Best friend’s dad (KTH X fém!reader)

Summary: your best friend since high school has always loved having you over, but he dad barely tried to say hi to you. If he ever did talk to you, it would be him telling you you did something wrong. That is, until the night of her graduation, when he’s forced to give you a ride.

Genre: angst, smut, teeny bit of fluff

Warnings: age gap (Tae is 42, reader is 20), penetrative sex, unprotected sex, choking, Tae is mean, slapping, Tae is a lil crazy, rough sex, sorta kidnapping, orgasm denial, oral (f&m receiving), spanking, hair pulling, hickeys, cute lil ending.

A/N: lmk if I should do a part 2 bc I have some ideas🤫. Not proofread cus i rlly wanted to post it & it’s long (the story & sumthn else). Enjoy!!

You sat across the table from your best friend, Milly’s dad. Milly had been your best friend since you transferred to the school, she was a year younger than you and it was hard for the both of you after your grad last year.

Currently, you were at Milly’s grad, her and her mom were in the bathroom, leaving you alone with her dad, Mr. Kim.

Your best friends dad had never liked you, even though he’s never said it out loud, his body language made it pretty clear.

Whenever you were over he would either hide in his room or stay on the couch the whole time, trying his hardest to ignore your presence. “What do you want?”

His voice made you jump, only then did you realize that while you zoned out, you were staring right at him. “Nothing,” you rested your chin in your hand, looking at the entrance. You desperately tried to manifest Milly and Mrs. Lin in the doorway.

Taehyung and Serine had gotten a divorce a few years ago, she had no bad blood with him, but you weren’t sure that went both ways. They got together the odd time for important events such as graduation.

You couldn’t blame her, she was such a sweet person and he was the complete opposite. Although, you could also tell why she’d put up with him for so long.

The man was gorgeous, and from what you could tell from family photos, he hadn’t aged since he was 26. There were a handful of him when he was with a younger Milly, those were the only ones around his house.

From the first time you met Taehyung, you always knew his looks were the very first thing people noticed, it was what you noticed. “Y/n,” he snapped you out of your thoughts once again. Somehow, anytime you did zone out, your eyes landed back on him. “You keep staring, what do you want?”

His voice was low and stern, as if he’d rather not be in the same country as you. “I already said it was nothing,” you rolled your eyes.

“Don’t roll your eyes at me,” he sneered, an intensity in his voice. “All I did was ask you a question, don’t be a brat.”

You straightened yourself, pointing a finger at him. “I ans-“

“We’re back!” Mrs. Lin gave you a sweet smile, taking her seat next to you. You curled your hands in your lap, deciding to keep your mouth shut.

Taehyung raised an eyebrow at you, you swore you saw his lip curl up in a smirk. He knew he won the argument, as he usually did when the two of you argued.

“Are you guys done?” Milly gestured to your empty plates, you both nodded. She’d received her certificate and the school provided a full meal, you were a bit jealous, her meal was better than yours.

“Perfect, then we can head to the after party!” Milly clapped her hands, grabbing your wrist and pulling you up.

You made your way to where both her parents cars were parked, she opened the front passenger door and got in, you tried to open the back but it was locked. “Milly, the doors locked.”

She rolled down the window, Mrs. Lin came up beside you. “Everything alright, dear?” She asked you, placing her hand on the small of your back.

“Yes of course, the doors just locked.” You told her, Milly pressed the unlock button on the door.

“I’m going home, you girls have fun.” Taehyung walked past you to Mrs. Lin’s car, waving you off.

“You’re not coming to the after party?” She stomped around the back of the car, grabbing the sleeve of his leather jacket. If there was one thing you knew about Taehyung, it’s that he knew style.

“If you’re taking the girls then there’s no point of me being there.” He shrugged her off, she let out a frustrated sigh.

“Y/n can go with you,” she looked at you with desperate eyes. You knew she wanted Milly’s dad to be present, but this was the one thing you wouldn’t do. You shook your head. “Come on, it’s a 10 minute drive!”

“Mrs. Lin that’s not a good idea, maybe Milly could go with her dad?” You looked at Milly, she ignored you and rolled the window back up. She knew how much you two hated each other, and you also knew she wouldn’t waste the opportunity to throw you into a situation like this. You looked back up at Mrs. Lin, she looked at you with pleading eyes and you couldn’t say no. “Fine.”

“Thank you!” She came over and gave tou a tight hug, you smiled into her shoulder. She hurried around the front of the car and got in behind the wheel. “Just follow us to the hotel and let us know when you get there.”

You nodded and she pulled away, there they went, your only chance of peace. You looked through the empty parking spot at Taehyung, his eyebrows furrowed and a heavy scowl pointed in your direction. “Fuck,” he shook his head.

You huffed, reluctantly making your way to the car. You pulled open the passenger side door, sliding onto the cool leather seat of his car.

As soon as you closed the door, you were flooded with the scent of his cologne. It was a sweet, woody scent, you could also smell a faint hint of cigarettes. You knew he smoked, but he was pretty good at hiding it.

He slid into the drivers seat, shoving his keys into the dash. You looked away from him, staring straight out the window in front of you. He pushed the car into drive and pulled out of the parking lot, the light turned yellow as soon as he turned onto the road.

Little did you know, this was going to be the theme of the night. Each red light irked him more, and you could tell. His jaw was clenched, knuckles turning white from his grip on the steering wheel. “Roll down your window,” he grumbled.

You did as he said, he rolled down his own and pulled a cigarette out of his pocket, taking advantage of the red light to light his cigarette. He lit the end and threw the lighter onto the centre console before pressing the gas once the light was greens.

He hollowed his cheeks as he breathed in the smoke, highlighting his cheekbones in the dim light. Damn, he looked good. He stuck his head out the window and blew out the smoke.

“I think you do want something, because you’ve been staring at me all night.” He took another puff, this time blowing it in your direction.

“I don’t want shit,” you scowled, waving your hands in front of your face. “I didn’t even want you to drive me here, if it weren’t for Serine I’d be with them and you’d be at home drinking until you get a massive hangover.” You pointed an incriminating finger at him, crossing your legs.

He slammed on the breaks once he pulled in the parking lot, he threw his cigarette out the window and rolled them up. He twisted his torso to face you, his strong hand came up to grip your face, turning your head to face him.

His eyes were fiery, boiling into yours. It made your stomach flip, your hands flew to the sides of your seat. “You don’t fucking talk to me like that in my car, you got that?”

His hand squeezed your face harder, making you let out a little whimper. He shook his head, laughing lowly. “Don’t you start acting like you’re scared now, if you can be all bratty with me in the restaurant and have the audacity to bitch at me in my car,” he paused, savouring the terrified expression on your face. “Then you can deal with the pissy attitude you’re gonna get from me.”

You let out a huff, you were about to cross your arms when he pulled your face closer to his, your nose nearly touched his, you could smell the cigarettes on his lips. “What are yo-“

“Shut up,” he slapped the side of your face. Your jaw dropped, you couldn’t believe what he just did. You never thought you would ever be this close to Taehyung, the intensity of the situation almost arousing you. Before you could say anything else, his hand came back on your face. “You fucking like it!”

“I do not!” You yelled back, as best as you could with his hand squishing your cheeks together. Your eyes met his, the pure anger in his eyes still present, but fading.

“I don’t believe you,” he tilted his head to the side, looking deeper into your eyes. “I can tell just by the way you’re looking at me,” he smirked, then a look of realization came over his face.

His thumb came up and rubbed against your bottom lip, your thighs squeezed together, gaining his attention. “That’s why you keep staring at me, isn’t it?” He patronized, his free hand slid up your knee, slipping between the slit of your dress. His warm fingers grasped your upper thigh, digging into the skin. “Every time you zone it’s cus you’re thinking of me, isn’t it? They aren’t very holy, are they?”

“Mr. Kim this is-“

“That’s not what you call me in your dreams is it?” He moved forward, pressing your back against the passenger side door. He was so close to you, his thumb tugged your lip down, eyes scanning your body.

You cowered under his gaze, your hands came up to his wrist, trying to tug his hand away from your face. “It’s not what you think, I was just thinking!” You tugged harder, he gave you a shove and pulled his hand away.

“You want my hand off your face?” He growled, unbuckling his seatbelt, he leaned over the console and wrapped his hand around your neck. You were so caught off guard that you couldn’t stop the moan that slipped out from your lips, he looked at you with a fierce look in his eyes. “You like that, huh? I fucking knew it,” he shook his hand, your torso bouncing forward.

“No!” You countered, his hand came away from your thigh and grabbed your wrists, pinning them over your head onto the window.

“Stop arguing,” he commanded, squeezing your back tighter.

“Gonna be- late,” you managed, trying to take deeper breaths.

“Then admit it,” he sneered, bringing your face impossibly closer to his. “Admit that you have dreams just like this.”

“Tae- let me-“

“It’s so simple, all you have to do it admit it. Admit that you have nasty dreams about me, admit that just the thought of me gets you wet,” he growled.

“Fuck fine!” You broke down, he loosened his grip on your neck. “You make me so wet, I have horrible, sexual dreams about you all the time!” You took a deep breath, trying to look away in embarrassment.

“Now you’re shy?” He teased, sticking out his lip in a mock pout. “Look at me,” his hand came off of your throat and back up to your chin.

Reluctantly, you turned back to him, your cheeks were bright red and your face was contorted in a look of shame.

“From now on, you call me Taehyung, you got that?” He waited for you to nod before continuing. “You’d better listen to me for the rest of the night or else you won’t be getting a ride home. Got that?” You nodded again. “Use your words, bitch.”

“Yes Taehyung,” you forced the words out of your body. No matter how scared of him you were, there was still a bone in your body that told you not to submit to him.

“Good girl,” his voice was deep. His usual, deep honey-like voice was raspy and thick with lust. You let out a small gasp, you couldn’t believe his words.

Taehyung gripped your chin between his thumb and forefinger, holding you still while he moved closer. His lips met yours softly, he only stayed for a moment before pulling back. “Don’t wanna be late,” he mocked you, opening his door.

You rolled your eyes once he got out, you got out of the car and followed him towards the entrance. He held the door for you, you hummed in acknowledgment and paced to the front desk. “Hi, we’re here for the grad after party,” you gave the man the name of your old school.

“Of course, it’s on the fifth floor.” He gave you a plastic hospital looking bracelet that the valet would check at the door, he gave another one to Taehyung.

He followed you to the elevator, you clicked on the up arrow and stepped back from the door. A group of people filed out, leaving the elevator to the two of you.

Taehyung pressed the 5 button on the elevator and the doors closed, your stomach tensed when he turned back to you. He didn’t say anything, he moved beside you and stood at your side, the cool leather of his jacket brushed against your arm.

On the second floor the doors opened again, a group of people came in, all in suits and chatting about business. They clicked a button and the elevator started moving again, you let out a squeak when you felt his hand brush against your ass.

You looked around, no one heard you. Your eyes panned up to Taehyung, he sported a smirk and only you knew why. His hand slipped from the small of your back to your ass, large hand squeezing the soft flesh.

You reached behind you and grabbed his wrist, giving his wrist a squeeze as a warning. All this did was make him squeeze harder, your muscles clenched.

Suddenly you were saved by the ding of the elevator. Taehyung pulled his hand away and you squeezed past the people in front of you. The hallways had arrows pointing to the room where the party was held.

“Go have fun,” he gestured towards the door. “I’ll be near the door whenever you’re done.” He reached out to grab the door knob, pausing to look back at you. “I shouldn’t have to say this, but you’d better not get too close to anyone, understand?”

“I won’t,” you promised. He still didn’t move, you swallowed hard. “I won’t, Taehyung.”

“There we go,” he gave you a small smile. He opened the door and you showed your bracelets to the bouncer. Once you got past, he leaned down to your ear. “Milly and Sienne don’t hear about this, or I’ll have to do something about it.” With this, he disappeared into the crowd.

You stood still, eyes scanning the crowd for Milly, before you decided to stop and think for a minute. You hadn’t even thought of what happened with Taehyung, the stoic man who’s barely uttered more than a sentence to you at a time, just made you confess to your dreams, kissed you, and threatened to leave you on the side of the road if you didn’t “behave.”

As much as you’d fantasized about him touching you, you never thought he’d patronize you in that way. Who the hell was he to tell you to behave, tell you to be good, he wasn’t your father.

You crossed your arms, there was no way he was gonna do that to you again. No fucking way. Just thinking about it made you feel stupid, all those years of standing up to him and arguing just so that you would cower under a single touch.

You weren’t some weak kid, you were an adult and he wasn’t gonna treat you like that. You turned around to go find him and give him a piece of your mind, when you ran right into Milly.

“Y/n! I saw dad a few minutes ago,” she stopped, raising an eyebrow at you. “You don’t look very happy.”

“Of course I’m not happy, Milly.” You sighed, taking a deep breath. “I just spent 10 minutes in the car with your dad, I don’t mean to be a downer, but he’s really just-“

“Difficult? Yea I know, but seeing the look on both of your faces was so worth it!” She laughed, pointing at your angry expression. “Now come on, you’ll never have to have another car ride with my dad after tonight, promise.” She drew and X over the left side of her chest, giving you a sympathetic smile.

“Fine, but only because it’s for you.” You rolled your eyes, you were so easily persuaded by her. You always remembered that she was the only reason you put up with the man, especially after arguments.

The rest of the party was amazing, they had an amazing playlist and you and Milly danced for hours, with people, with each other, with her mom. The party seemed to go on for hours, and Taehyung was no where to be found.

By the time midnight rolled around, you and Milly were both ready to go home. You to your apartment and her to her mom’s, you followed her to find Mrs. Lin. “Y/n, you’re going with dad, remember?” She yawned, but her comment snapped you back to reality.

Of course she wasn’t gonna let this slide, you said goodbye and wandered through the crowd to find Taehyung, or anyone you knew who could drive you home.

You recognized your French teacher and almost tapped her shoulder before someone yanked yours, you turned around and sure enough, it was Taehyung. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Trying to find you,” you told him, then softer. “Or another ride.” You gasped when he grabbed your arm, squeezing your wrist as a sign of warning.

“Tae, you’re good to take her home, right?” Mrs. Lin came up behind him, he quickly let go of your wrist, turning to face her. “Because if not I can just bring her back home and-“

“I’ll be fine, it’s on the way home anyway.” His voice sounded nonchalant, but you knew there was rage somewhere in there. He was right about that though, your apartment was in walking distance.

“Thanks Tae, call me if anything’s wrong!” She skipped to the door, where Milly waved in your direction.

“Let’s go,” Taehyung stormed out in front of you, not bothering to pull you along. You hurried after him, his stride was much longer than yours, so you had to take two steps more than he did just to keep up.

“Slow down!” You shouted, he paused and turned around, taking a step towards you. He pointed a threatening finger in your direction, getting closer to your face.

“You shout at me one more time and you see what fucking happens, you hear me?” He growled, his voice deep and stern.

“What the fuck, I’m-“

“A fucking brat, that’s what you are.” He grabbed the sides of your face, gripping it roughly. “And someone’s gonna have to teach you how to behave.” He pulled his hand away just to slap your face, grabbing it between his hands again.

“Let go,” you grabbed his wrist. You tried to pull his hand away, but his grip was too strong.

“Why?” His voice was soft, almost condescending. “Just a second ago you wanted me to wait for you, and now you’re trying to get away?”

He pulled his hand away and pressed the down button on the elevator behind him. The hallway was empty, to your liking, you didn’t need anyone seeing this and didn’t want anyone to either.

The elevator ride was silent, he stayed on the opposite the elevator, not bothering to spare you a glance.

You followed him to his car, once again silently sliding into the passenger seat. The car ride home was dead silent, he didn’t even turn on the radio. The only noise there was was the hum of the engine and other cars outside.

When you turned onto your street you went to unbuckle your seatbelt, but he didn’t slow down. “Hey slow down,” your voice broke the silence, but it didn’t phase him.

His foot stayed steady on the gas, driving past your apartment. “What the fuck! Taehyung! Slow down, you missed the apartment!” You cried, you reached down to pull on the door handle but the door was locked, of course it was. “You’re crazy, you’re fucking insane!”

“What did I say about yelling, huh?” He demanded, taking a sharp turn down the road and into the driveway of his house. “I told you to keep your voice down, and you didn’t listen to me.”

He parked the car and shoved the keys into his pocket. “Now, you’re gonna see what happens when you don’t behave.” His hand flew down to his hips, unbuckling his belt and pulling it out of the loops. “You’re gonna come into the house with me,” he explained.

You tried to push him away, but to no avail. His big hand gripped the back of your neck, pressing the right pressure points to make your body stiffen. With the other hand, he shoved part of the belt into your mouth and tied it right around the back of your head. “And you’re gonna be quiet, try not to wake the neighbours.”

Taehyung got out of the car, unlocking your door only when he was close enough to grab you. He dragged you into his house, locking the car and the door before finally turning back to you. “You know, I bet we’d get along just fine if you weren’t such a bitch.”

His words stung, he’d insulted you before, but somehow they hurt more now that you were in such a vulnerable situation. He took the belt out of your mouth, discarding it on the floor. “But that’s what you thrive off of, isn’t it? You live for these arguments, don’t you?”

You shook your head, he moved closer to you, making you backup until you body was pressed between his and the counter. “Of course it is, you told me it is.”

Your hands came up to his chest, hesitating between pushing him away or letting it happen. “Are you gonna go back home?” His question surprised you, you thought you could hear doubt in his voice. “You gonna go home and rub one off, huh? Think about me again or stay and see what happens?”

“I- uh stay,” you murmured, avoiding eye contact with him. He let out a low hum, presumably one of satisfaction, and turned your head back to face him.

“Look at me,” he instructed, hand falling down to the flimsy strap on your shoulder. His other hand held his weight on the counter behind you, his eyes panned your body once again, observing your curves in your skintight dress, your chest heaving up and down, and your thigh that stuck out of the slit of your dress.

His eyes came up to meet yours once more, a coy smile displayed on his lips. “Good girl,” he whispered. The words sent shivers through you, your fingers gripped the smooth leather of his jacket. His eyes poured into yours, the rage barely present and lust taking over.

His lips smashed into yours, locking you in a kiss that was much more intense than the peck you shared earlier that night.

His hands came up and grabbed a fistful of your hair, directing your head however he wanted. His other hand slid both of your straps off your shoulders, the lacy bra you wore becoming more and more exposed.

His hand came down to your chest and squeezed one of your tits, making you moan into the kiss. His thumb swiped over the middle of your breast, feeling your stiff nipple through the thin fabric of your bra.

His hand directed your head to the side, his tongue prodded at your bottom lip, your lips parted for him and let his tongue inside. He tasted like bourbon and cigarettes, he must’ve gotten his hands on a drink at the party.

Your tongues danced together, him quickly gaining dominance. His teeth bit at your bottom lip, dragging it out then letting go when he pulled back. “Come with me,” his arm slid around your waist and lead you to his bedroom.

His hand came to your back and gave you a harsh shove, sending you flying to the bed. Your body was squished against the bottom of the bed, bent over on the mattress.

You tried righting yourself when a hand came down on your back shoving you down against the mattress. “Feeling brave now, Y/n?” His fingers dig into your back, you were sure they would leave bruises.

You mumbled in response, your head was turned to the side on the mattress. “I thought I told you to use your words.” He tsked, pressing you harder into the mattress. “Answer my question, are you still feeling brave?”

“No,” you squeaked, struggling against his hand. The attitude you previously had fading, you weren’t scared of him, but you knew he could over power you in a second.

“That’s right,” he grabbed one of your legs and lifted it, sliding your body onto the bed with ease. “Because I have you all to myself now, I can do whatever I want.” He leaned down and moved your hair away from your neck, his lips pressing against the sensitive skin.

His tongue came out of his mouth and wet your skin, he sucked small marks into the side and back of your neck. Deep red blotches appearing each time he moved away, you let out a whine.

His hand slid down your back, taking a handful of the soft flesh of your ass. He moved your dress up, the fabric pooling at your waist. He let out a groan when he reached down between your legs, you bit your lip and grabbed onto the arm that steadied himself on the bed.

“Fuck, look at you.” His fingers reached past your panties and rubbed through your folds. His finger stopped at your clit, giving your swollen nun a few rubs.

“Fuck Tae, please!” You cried, trying to grind onto his fingers.

“Now you want it, huh?” He sneered, he sounded like a hungry animal watching his prey. “Hate to break it to you, but you’ve gotta earn it.”

He took his hand away from your core, you whined out in loss. He grabbed your shoulders and pulled you up to your knees, you arched your back, waiting to see what he would do next.

He sat on the bed in front of you, putting his legs on either side of your body. “You’re gonna suck it, baby.” He patted his lap, an obvious bulge forming in his jeans. “Okay?”

You nodded, he smiled and reached up to move your hair out of your face. Your hands hesitantly reached for his jeans, toying with the button and zipper.

You felt dirty, what you were doing was dirty. Your fantasy was finally coming true and yet you were hesitant, you reached into his pants, pressing your palm against his dick.

Taehyung let out a groan, he didn’t realize how touch starved he’d been. He barely got out and hardly ever bothered to touch himself, he’d always suspected you were sweet on him, but now he knew he was right.

“Take it out,” he instructed, rolling his hips up into your palm. “Don’t be shy now, you’ve finally got what you want.” His fingers brushed underneath your chin, biting his lips.

Your hand dipped into his boxers and wrapped around his length, you carefully pulled it out, your mouth watered at the sight.

You’d always assumed it was big but you never expected this, his cock was long, from what you could tell it was 7, maybe 8 inches. The thing that surprised you the most was how thick it was, you could barely wrap your whole hand around it.

“Looks so good,” you licked your lips, your teeth coming out to bite your bottom lip.

“Have a taste,” he wrapped his hand in your hair, pushing your head down a bit. You dropped to your elbows so you were face level with his cock, you looked at him with a look of want.

You licked a stripe up the bottom of his length, feeling the ridges of his veins against your tongue. He let out a delicious moan, encouraging you to do it again.

Your tongue licked through the slit on his tip, gathering the pre cum rolling out of it. You wrapped your mouth around his head, letting out a groan at his taste. “I think you can do better than that, huh?”

His hand gave your head a small nudge, pushing you down further on his length. You let him push you, controlling your movements. “Fuck yes, use that fucking tongue.”

He pushed you down until you gagged on his cock, barely making it halfway down. You moaned around his length, hollowing your cheeks around him. He moved you up and down faster, wet, gagging sounds coming from your mouth as you moved.

The phone rang, making you jump, but Taehyung still had his hand on the back of your head, easing you back down. He reached over and grabbed his house phone, “It’s Milly, so you’re gonna have to be quiet for me.”

He gave you a stern look, answering the phone. “Yea?” He answered the phone dully, rolling his hips up into your mouth, testing your gag reflex.

“Hey dad, is Y/n at your place?” Her question made him tense, you froze, but his hand kept moving.

“I dropped her off at her apartment, why?” His voice was stern, you assumed he’d know how to handle it, you could tell by the tone of his voice.

“She won’t answer my calls, and when I checked her location it said that she was still at your place.” Milly whined, Taehyung rolled his eyes.

“She might have left her phone in my car,” he explained. “Even so, it’s like 1 in the morning she’s probably asleep.”

He looked down at you, biting his lip as he made you move faster, making it harder for you to stay quiet. “I’ll just go check on her tomorrow, night dad.”

“K, goodnight.” He didn’t wait for a response and hung up the phone, throwing it back onto the receiver. “Good girl, staying quiet for me.”

You hum in response, feeling his cock twitch on your tongue. He pulled your head off of his cock, the flushed head of his cock hitting the fabric of his shirt.

“Strip,” he told you. You didn’t waste time, you stood up off of his bed and reached for the zipper on the back of your dress.

“Can you help me?” You turned back to him, biting your lip. You widened your eyes, he nodded and you moved back to him.

His warm fingers came up to the zipper, they brushed against your back, making you shiver. He pulled the zipper down, taking his time. He gave your ass a small tap to let you know he was done, you shimmied the straps down your arms, pulling the dress off of your chest until it looked at your feet.

“Turn around,” he instructed. You did as he said, holding your hands together in front of you, heat rising to your cheeks. “You look so good,” he muttered, licking his lips. “Come here.”

Taehyung held out his arms, guiding your body to lay across his lap. His fingers hooked into the sides of your panties, pulling them off in one go. “So wet, and all for me.”

His fingers spread you open, letting him get a better look. “As much as I’d love to just dive in, I didn’t forget how bratty you were earlier.”

His hand came up to caress your ass, lifting his hand off for a moment and coming down with a loud smack. You let out a yelp, tensing as he rubbed the wounded flesh. “That hurt!” You grumbled, looking up at Taehyung. His lip stuck out in a mock pout.

“Really? That’s the point, baby.” He layed another harsh smack on your ass, leaving a handprint from the force.

You whimpered, holding onto his strong thigh beneath you. He was relentless, going from side to side making it feel like he hit harder each time. By the time he was done, your flesh was bright red and sensitive. “Had enough, Y/n?”

“Yes,” you mumbled, voice shaking while you tried your hardest to hold back tears.

“Learn your lesson?” He asked, rubbing your ass to soothe the burn he’d caused. “Won’t disobey me again, right?”

“No, I’ll be good.” You promised, sniffling.

“There you go, pretty.” He pulled you up onto his lap, you threw a leg over his and straddled his lap, folds sliding on his angry cock. “You’re okay,” he chided, brushing tears away from your cheeks with his thumb. “So pretty when you cry for me.”

He brought your face closer to his, capturing your lips in a sweet kiss. He was softer than before, but it didn’t last long before he flipped you onto your back. “Stay,” he commanded.

He slid off the bed, dropping his jeans and boxers, he shrugged off the jacket, revealing his toned arms. You’d seen him without a shirt previously, and for his age, he was built well. His torso was toned, his skin was smooth and everything in his body seemed to be fully functional, you were about to find out just how functional one part was.

He pulled his shirt over his head, muscles flexing as he threw it to the side. His shoulders were broad and tanned, you licked your lips as he crawled back on top of you. “Why don’t we lose this, yeah?”

He tugged on the middle part of your bra, you nodded and let him reach behind you, undoing the clasp and pulling it away. He shoved his face between your breasts, sucking spots into the soft flesh. “Oh fuck!”

You moaned when his teeth grazed your nipple, wrapping mouth around it and tongue toying with the sensitive bud. He took his time moving to your neglected breast, giving it the same treatment as the other one.

He made his way down your abdomen, making eye contact with you as he reached your pelvis. His hands roughly groped your thighs, forcing them apart.

“Didn’t get to taste you earlier,” his thumb toyed with your clit, making your hips stutter. He licked a stripe up your core, gathering your slick on his tongue. “You’re so sweet,” he told you, dipping his tongue into your folds.

You let out moan after moan, feeling him dip his tongue into your hole, which immediately made you clench around him. “You like that, huh? Fucking dirty girl,” he shook his head, tongue flat against your clit.

“Taehyung- fuck!” Your hand flew down to his hair, gripping his firm black locks. He kept going, suckling your pussy like a madman. You felt one digit enter you, his fingers felt so much better than yours. They were long and slender, reaching places inside of you that you could only dream of.

“Pull me closer, fuck,” he groaned, affected by the grip you had on him. You tangled your hand tighter in his hair, gripping him against you tightly.

Your hips quivered, shaking under his touch. “Fuck, fuck so close,” you whimpered, your breath becoming shallow when he added another finger. You clamped your fingers tighter around his hair as your orgasm approached, when he suddenly pulled away.

Your grip weak, he was able to slip out of your grasp. “So soon? I barely touched you,” he tsked, shaking his head. “Think I’m gonna let you cum on my fingers, huh? Oh I don’t think so,” he chuckled, he could tell you were pissed.

He waited for you to say something, but you kept your mouth shut, you knew he’d wait longer to give you what you wanted if you argued with him. “Good girl, I guess you’ve learnt your lesson.”

He knelt over you, dropping down to his forearms to press his lips to yours. You welcomed him in immediately, shoving your tongue past his lips. You took a deep breath through your nose, basking in his scent.

You could feel his cock rub against your leg, pre cum dripping from his tip and rubbing onto your smooth thigh. His lips sucked on yours, tongues diving into the others with an unmentioned passion.

Taehyung pulled back, his lips were pink and swollen, you were sure yours looked the same. “You want this, baby?” He reached down, fisting his cock and tapping it against your leg gently.

“Yes, yes please.” You begged, but he didn’t move. “Taehyung please,” you reached up and grabbed him by the hair, pulling his upper body onto yours.

“What do you call me in your dreams?” He demanded, planting a wet kiss on your jaw. “I can’t believe you call your best friend’s dad by first name, do you baby?”

“Please, I need your cock,” you paused, he looked up at you. “Dadd-“ you murmured.

“What’s that baby? I couldn’t hear you,” he teased, ready to line himself up with you as soon as you said it.

“Daddy,” you caved, feeling heat rise to your cheeks.

“No need to be embarrassed,” he ran a finger down the side of your cheek, making you look up at him. “If that’s what you think about then that’s what I wanna hear.”

You felt the tip of his cock prod at your entrance, he took his time to push in, stopping once his tip was in. “You ready, babe?” He purred, propping himself up with his hands beside your head.

“Yes, daddy, please!” You whined, trying to grind down on him.

“You’ll get what you want,” he promised, thrusting his hips all the way in. You moaned at the stretch, it felt like he was ripping you open. “Pussy’s so tight, doesn’t get enough attention, huh?”

You shook your head, wrapping your arms around his neck. His hips started moving faster once you adjusted to his size, hitting your sweet spot with every thrust.

“Fuck fuck fuck! Right there, fuck yes!” You moaned, your high creeping up on you again.

“You gonna cum again, baby? Gonna cream on this cock?” One of his hands came off of the mattress, wrapping around your throat and restricting your airways just enough so you became light headed. You grabbed his wrist, letting out a loud whine.

His pace was relentless as he pounded into you, the hand on your neck keeping you from sliding up the mattress. His hand tightened and loosened every so often, letting you catch your breath then immediately taking it away.

His hair stuck to his forehead, his mouth hung open slightly, letting groans escape his lips every so often. His muscles flexed each time he changed his grip around you’re neck, his v line becoming more and more prominent with each thrust.

You felt like you were on fire, your bodies were soaked, your thighs felt sticky with your slick and your core ached, needing release. “Please let me cum, daddy. Please, I need to!” You begged, tears brimming your eyes.

“Gonna cry for me? You need to beg for it, cry for it.” His thrusts slowed down to an agonizing pace, you knew it must be driving him crazy, but the lengths he was willing to take torment you were far wider than you would like.

“Daddy please, please I need you to make me cum! Need to cum on your cock, please, daddy.” You begged, wrapping your legs around his waist. He snapped his hips deep inside you, causing the tears to fall. “P-please I need you, need to cum on you, want you to cum in me, so bad. Need you to fill me up, please daddy, please.”

You sobbed, trying to pull him closer. “On your knees,” he pulled out, landing a slap on your thigh.

Complacent, you rolled onto your stomach, propping yourself up on your knees. “Making your cunt drip, so wet for me.” He pushed back into your pussy, plowing you into the mattress with the force of his hips. “Ah fuck, pulling me in so well.”

His hands flew up to your waist, squeezing it roughly to keep you close to him. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, letting out loud whines the closer you got. “Please, please let me cum! Please daddy I need to,” you sobbed, your release was so close, you weren’t gonna last.

You felt his hand comb through your hair, which was sweaty and going in every direction. The breath was knocked out of you when he wrapped his hand in your hair, pulling you up so your back was pressed to his chest.

“You wanna cum, huh?” His hips snapped at an incredulous pace, the hand holding your hair came to wrap around your neck, making it easier for him to control you. His other hand slid down the front of your body and rested on your clit, not moving.

You bucked your hips in anticipation, feeling the need for more friction. You nodded desperately, reaching around him to hold yourself up with his waist. “Please daddy, please!”

“Sure baby, I’ll let you cum.” His fingers started moving slower than his hips were, the muscles in your stomach tensed. “But where am I gonna cum?”

His fingers sped up, one of your hands flew up to his wrist, digging your nails into his skin. “Here,” you muttered, tapping his hand that was rubbing your clit.

“Yea? You want my cum inside you?” He sped up his fingers, making your legs twitch. He took his hand off your neck, pushing you back down on the mattress. “Gonna fill you up, little girl.”

You whined at his words, your legs barely held you up on the mattress. Taehyung noticed, and he wouldn’t miss a chance to manhandle you. He pulled out for a fraction of a second, flipping you onto your back and thrusting back inside with ease.

“Look so good filled with cock, little brats not so bad anymore, are you?” He reached up and grabbed one of your tits, his thumb toyed with your nipple. His other hand came up and massaged both of your tits, pressing them together and manipulating them however he wanted.

“No m’ good,” you whined, your eyes meeting his. Your eyes were blurry and wet, you were sure that your eyeliner was running, your face was wet from your tears. Your eyes were begging his, begging for release, for his release.

“That’s right,” he groaned, taking his hands away from your tits and admiring the handprints he left. He set his hands on the mattress on either side of you, he panted heavily, hips stuttering every so often. “Good for me.”

“Tae- Tae I’m gonna- fuck!” You reached up and grabbed his shoulders, digging your nails into his shoulders, making him hiss. His fingers came down to your clit, rubbing fast circles. “Gonna cum!”

“S’right baby, cream on my cock.” He panted, your legs convulsed on his shoulders, hips shaking with each thrust. You let out a loud moan, finally reaching your climax.

You came and you came hard, your eyes rolled to the back of your head. You could feel your orgasm running down your thigh, the sound of him thrusting into your getting sloppier and more wet. “So fucking wet, I make you feel good huh?”

Taehyung took his hand away from your clit, when your eyes focused again, you were met with the sight of your dreams. His hips snapped into yours, he let out moans that your were sure to remember and that you’d never want to forget.

He bit his lip, you could feel his cock twitching inside you. “M’ sensitive,” you whined, thighs trying to clench around him.

“I know baby, I know.” He moaned, dropping to his elbows. His face dropped between your soft breasts, lips leaving soft kisses. “Wanna cum in you, wanna fill you up so bad,” he muttered, you felt his voice vibrate against your chest.

“Yes, yes daddy I need it!” You wrapped your legs around his waist, your fingers wrapped around his hair, giving it gentle tugs every so often.

“Fuck!” He moaned, hips coming to a stop, stuttering when he was deep in you. His heavy cock twitched against your walls, finally releasing into you.

“Oh that feels good,” you moaned, softening your grip on his hair. Your hands raked through his raven-coloured locks, scratching his scalp gently. You felt his seed shoot into you, making your insides warm.

“Yea,” he mumbled, taking a minute to calm down. He let out a sigh, scooting you up on the bed so his feet weren’t hanging off the edge.

There were so many emotions flowing through you right now, you were confused and curious. An hour ago you were arguing with man, now he’s inside you and laying on top of you. “We’ve gotta get you home,” he groaned, propping himself up.

“Home?” You shot up, smacking your head on his chest. He chuckled, leaning down to peck your forehead.

“Yea, Milly’s gonna be at your place as soon as the sun comes up.” He yawned, stretching his arms. “At least that’s what I expected from her.”

“Oh, yea you’re right.” You nodded, pushing your hair out of your face.

“Aw did you wanna stay the night?” He teased, raising an eyebrow and giving you a cocky smile. “Had that much fun, huh?”

You nodded, looking up at him with puppy dog eyes. “Do I have to?” You stuck your lip out in a pout, despite all of your past arguments, you wanted him to want you just as much as you wanted him.

“Tell you what, I’ll help you get cleaned up, give you some comfy clothes, then I’ll come back to your place with you. How does that sound?” He asked, tilting his head to the side, giving you a soft smile.

“Good, let’s do that.” You agreed, he nodded, standing up. He gently pulled out of you, watching as both of your releases flooded out of you.

“That’s hot,” he raised an eyebrow and bit his lip. He slid his hands under you, lifting you into his strong arms.

He brought you into the bathroom, setting you down and turning on the water. Once it was warm enough, he opened the curtain and let you in, stepping in behind you.

He was gentle, shampooing both of your hair and helping you rinse it off. His hands were gentle along your body, carefully washing the slick off of your body. He admired the bruises he left on your neck, both from his hands and his mouth. “Might have to leave more,” he mumbled.

He rinsed off your bodies and shut off the water, he quickly dried himself and handed you a clean towel, leaving the room while you dried off. He came back in boxers and holding a pile of clothes, “Here.” He handed you a pair of sweats and a large t shirt.

“Thanks,” you bowed your head slightly, he bowed right back. He threw on a pair of shorts and a hoodie, the fabric going over his head and slicking his hair down.

You looked in the mirror, wiping the makeup off of your face with a Kleenex, or what could come off without makeup remover anyway. “Is your phone in my car?” Taehyung asked, picking up your clothes off the floor and handing them to you.

“No, I dropped it in my shoes at the front door.” You stretched, your joints were stiff and your legs were sore because of him. You bent down to touch your toes, letting out a groan. “Tae!” You squealed, jumping when he layed a smack on your ass.

“Your fault for bending over,” he smirked. You slid your feet into your wedges, they didn’t work with the outfit but no one would see you at this time of night.

He followed you back to your apartment, hand steady around your waist. You made your way up the stairs, being as quiet at you could while you unlocked the door.

“Nice place,” Taehyung looked around, letting out a small hum in recognition.

“It’s small, but it works,” you shrugged. You both kicked off your shoes and he followed you to your bedroom. “You’re really gonna stay, all night?” You asked, closing your door.

Taehyung moved closer to you, pressing his body against your until you were sandwiched between him and the door. “As long as you want,” he promised. His hand came up and rubbed the side of your neck, you let yourself lean into his touch.

He bent down and let your lips meet, his lips moved passionately against yours, you wrapped your arms around his neck, you were sure you’d remember this.

His hand toyed with the hem of the shirt he lent you, his fingers slipping into the band of his sweatpants. “You should take these off.” He pulled away for a second, quickly coming back to your lips.

“You want them back?” You asked, letting him pull them off of your hips.

“No,” he pulled back, tugging his sweater over his head. His toned, bare chest on display once more, you didn’t hesitate to reach out and touch him, feeling your way along his carved chest. “I just think sleeping would be more comfortable without all this in the way.”

He gestured to the small bits of fabric that were left on the two of you, “Nude?” You asked, already knowing the answer.

“Nude,” he agreed. You stripped out of his clothes, leading him over to your bed. You were tangled in the sheets, both of you trying to find a comfortable position.

You found yourself facing his chest, arms wrapped around him. His arms were wrapped all the way around your waist, holding you tightly so both of your bodies were pressed together. You sighed into his chest, breathing in his scent and basking in the warmth he provided.

“Just so you know,” he whispered, combing his fingers through your damp hair. “Mornings with me can be, pretty hard.”

“I’m sure I’ll be able to handle it,” you gave his chest a gentle peck, wrapping your legs around his.

“Good girl.”

[angelicbeaut]

Decide.

I remember when I started my journey learning of myself and my power, I was very insecure in my ability, which by the way is totally normal. It didn’t seem natural for me to just decide what I wanted and have it, it seemed too easy, because a lot of us did not grow up having things so easily so there can be some resistance within us to accept our desires. Again, normal.

However, we have to understand that there are infinite realities, infinite scenarios, infinite lives that we can live. It doesn’t have to come with emotion, it doesn’t even have to feel real at first, but you yourself have the power to choose who you will be. That is the point of life, and if you have discovered this, congrats you have won.

There are many things I have decided over the years. At one point in life I decided I was ugly, and I experienced nothing but that. However the lovely part about deciding is that you can always change your mind. As of now, I have made several decisions that have completely altered my life:

I decided my mom was going to mom into a new house in a wealthy neighborhood by a park I grew up going to but could never afford to live close by to. She called me last week and told me about a house, in the wealthy neighborhood, by the exact park that she is buying this month.

I decided that I was beautiful, and that every person I like is obsessed with me and from that point forward I have randomly manifested love interests I haven’t even spoken to in years calling me wanting a chance, flowers, dates, compliments, secret admirers, and more.

I decided when I was around 16 that I was going to be a rich housewife. Now this is more of a in the future thing, but I have no doubt I will live that life because I have decided. I can see it so clearly in my mind that I have quite frankly already been there, and I know it to be true. So much so that everyone in my life has told me they don’t see me in any other type of relationship when I get married except one of that nature. Right now I’m preoccupied with just being a girl, but again, I KNOW it is going to happen, and my life is aligning every second of the day for me to get exactly what I want.

I decided in high school that no matter what happened during the year, I never ended with less than a B. missing assignments, things turned in late, missing class, whatever it was, didn’t matter and doesn’t matter, and to this day, I have never received less than a B, even in college. It’s something I’ve always believed and it’s never failed me.

These are just a few things, but most importantly, once you decide. STAY STEADFAST IN YOUR DECISION. You need to understand that things are always happening, things are shifting every second in your favor when you hold on to your belief. They quite literally have no choice. EVERYTHING IS YOU, EVERYTHING MOVES ACCORDING TO YOU!

If you decide you can’t manifest, you won’t. If you decide this is fake, it has no choice but to be fake. You will forever be stuck in a loop unless YOU choose otherwise.

So sweets, what’re you going to decide today?

luv, che 🌷

[harmonicakai]

Was It Something I Said?

Part 5 of the "Anyone Else But You" series

Pairing: Huening Kai x Reader

Summary: It gets harder and harder for you and Kai to pretend like there isn't something going on between the two of you.

Tropes: enemies to friends to lovers, slow burn, mutual pining, fluff, angst, stylist!reader

Word Count: 3.7k

Warnings: swearing, mentions of sex (mdni!!!!), reader is insecure, miscommunication, alcohol, injuries

A/N: ahhh this series is almost over!!! i'm gonna miss it so much, but there's still plenty to come :-)

FIC INSPIRED PLAYLIST <3

“Did I fuck it up again? Are we destined to be friends? I wanna give you more than that” —Be Around Me, Will Joseph Cook

Kai and the boys have been in Japan for two days now, but with the amount of times that he has you on the phone, it feels like he never even left. Even if he refuses to talk about what happened at the album party, things are going pretty well between you and him.

You’re about to head out the door when your phone rings. You don’t even need to check the caller ID.

“Y/N, you didn’t call! The show’s about to start and you didn’t call!” Kai’s voice rings out of your phone’s speaker. While you can tell he’s mostly joking, he’s also a little worked up.

“Kai, we just talked, like, two hours ago. You know I have that date tonight.” Oh, he knows.

“Yeah, but I like when you call right before I’m about to go on stage. You’re my good luck charm.”

“You’re just being superstitious.”

“I wish you could see me pouting right now.” His sad puppy dog visuals pop into your head.

“Ugh, fine,” you relent. “You’re going to do amazing, Hyuka. Fighting!”

“That’s my girl!” he laughs, immediately ready to give his all on the stage. “I miss you so much.” 

His affection catches you off guard and you go quiet. 

“Hello?” he asks. “Y/N, are you there?”

“Yeah, sorry, I’m still here. Call me back so I can know how it went, okay?”

“You know I will,” he assures you. There’s obvious disappointment in his voice.

“Hueningie, it’s time to go!” you hear Taehyun call in the background.

“I have to go. Bye. Have fun on your date!”

“Bye,” you say. He ends the call and you feel an ache in your stomach. You miss him too, so why couldn’t you have just said it back?

When you finally get out the front doors of your building, Seongjin’s already waiting for you, flowers in hand. You note his outfit, something similar to what you have pinned on your “boyfriend manifestation” moodboard.

“Hey,” he says, holding the bouquet out to you. “These are for you.”

“They’re lovely,” you smile, bringing them to your nose to sniff them. You love the smell of roses. “I don’t think anybody’s ever gotten me flowers before.”

“Well, there’s more where that came from.” Seongjin’s hand finds its way into yours. He’s bold and romantic, even dressing exactly how you’d like him to. He’s checking off all of your boxes, and yet something feels off.

As the two of you walk towards the city’s center, you actually have no clue what he’s planned for tonight until he stops outside of a restaurant that you’ve had on your bucket list for years now.

“You’re joking!” you say in disbelief. “You have to get a reservation months in advance to eat here, and even then it’s impossible.”

“I called in a few favors,” he grins, holding the door open for you. You blush, wondering what you’ve done to deserve even a fraction of the effort he’s gone through.

The dinner’s going okay. There’s just something about the way that Seongjin’s meticulously planned everything, even his responses to your small talk, that makes you suspicious. He feels too perfect, almost unreal.

You find yourself focusing more on the delicious food than on any of what he’s been saying.

“You know,” he starts, “I only went to that album party because I knew you’d be there.”

The hint of Seongjin speaking in a less rehearsed way grabs your attention. You look up to see him grinning.

“No, you didn’t,” you laugh, dismissing him. “You probably didn’t even know who I was before Yeonjun introduced us.”

“Of course I did. I’ve thought you were cute for a while now. The way you’re always running around with your arms full of clothes. I can’t wait to debut so you can dress me up.”

You can’t believe that anybody had even noticed you around the building, let alone taken a romantic interest. If only somebody else felt that way. 

“Well, does that mean you’re not a big fan of TXT?” you ask, sipping your wine. You’re mostly joking, but also curious what his honest opinion of the group is.

“I mean, obviously, I think my uncle makes great songs for them. But besides Yeonjun, I don’t think they’re the kind of guys I’d really hang out with, you know?”

Your face heats up at his answer and your energy shifts. “No, I don’t know. Care to explain?”

“The other guys just seem so dorky. Not to mention half of them were wasted at a work event. Like that Huening kid whose outburst interrupted our conversation. What was that about anyway?”

“It’s none of your business,” you scoff, setting your silverware down. “And he’s not a kid. He’s almost twenty-two.”

“Look, Y/N, I know you’re close with them. I didn’t mean to make you upset. We don’t have to talk about this anymore.”

“You’re right, we don’t,” you say, standing up and gathering your things. “Thank you for dinner. I’ll see you around, I guess.”

On your way home, you start to wonder if you’ve made a mistake blowing off someone so well connected, but the way he talked about your friends makes your blood boil. 

Then again, things had been going just fine before then. Maybe you should’ve just smiled and nodded like you usually do. You’re not sure when you’ll ever get asked on another date again, let alone one that was planned so well.

Suddenly, your phone rings and for some reason, you answer. “What do you want now, Kai?!” you snap into the speaker.

“Whoa,” an unexpected voice replies, dragging out the word. “Actually, it’s Yeonjun.”

“Ugh, I’m sorry,” you groan, embarrassed at your attitude. “Hi, Jun.”

“So, I’m guessing your date didn’t go very well?”

“I think I’m going to get fired,” you huff, finally reaching your building again.

“That bad, huh? Tell me what happened.”

“I don’t know. He’s handsome and thoughtful and everything I could ask for really, but there wasn’t any sort of spark. Plus he called everyone in the group except you dorky, and that’s when I just got up, thanked him, and left.”

“Everyone else is dorky, Y/N. You really couldn’t wait until the end of dinner because of that?” 

“Fine, it’s stupid when I say it out loud. But the damage is already done,” you sigh, digging through your purse for your keys.

“I’m sure he’d reconsider if you apologize,” he reasons with you. You’re not sure that you actually have anything to be sorry about.

“I shouldn’t have to! He was making fun of Kai!” That’s it, you realize. That’s the reason you’re so upset. Of course this is somehow about him.

“Ah, I see now,” Yeonjun says, dropping the issue. “Well, hopefully you won’t run into him at work much.”

“Hopefully,” you agree. “How was the show?”

“It was amazing,” he muses. “I really played off the crowd’s energy, and they loved my solo stage.”

“That’s awesome, Jun,” you smile back. Ever since you and Kai have grown closer, it’s felt like Yeonjun has taken a backseat. “Anything interesting happen?”

“Soobin tried to do the Water challenge,” he laughs. “We all ran to cover him up, though. Beomgyu played the guitar, and MOA kept mentioning how Taehyun looked like Ash Ketchum.”

“Maybe you guys need to do a Pokémon concept,” you think out loud. You don’t fail to notice that Yeonjun has conveniently left out Kai from his recap, as if he’s testing to see whether you’ll bring him up first.

“Would I get to be a fire type trainer?” Yeonjun asks. So, he really isn’t going to mention how Kai did tonight. You bite your lip, resisting the urge to ask about him.

“Yes, of course. I think Soobin would be water, Beomgyu grass, and Taehyun psychic. Actually, wait. Maybe Beomgyu would have fairy types.”

“And Kai?” Yeonjun finally relents. You breathe out in relief at the mention of him.

“He’d be electric,” you decide. “Or normal. Whichever ones are the cutest, really.”

“You wanna know how the concert went for him, don’t you?” he asks.

“No, it’s okay, Jun,” you brush him off. “We can talk about whatever you want.”

“Y/N. It’s cool. I’ve just been messing with you.” You can practically hear him smirking through the phone.

“Oh,” you twiddle your thumbs. “Well, yes, then tell me how he did.”

Yeonjun sucks in a breath. “First off, I don’t want you to get worried.”

“Okay? Why would I be worried?”

Yeonjun hesitates before answering you. “He’s at the hospital right now.” Your stomach drops.

“What?! Is that what you were hiding from me?”

“I knew it would make you upset, Y/N. It’s not a big deal. It’s probably just a sprain, alright?”

“But he’s hurt,” you sigh. “Is that the reason you called me and not him?”

“Can’t I just want to hear my dear friend’s voice and ask how her date went?”

“Mhmm, sure.” You side eye him through the phone, plopping down onto your bed. You’re too tired to change out of your date clothes.

“Okay, fine,” he continues. “Kai did ask me to call you while the doctor checks him out. He knew it would probably be all over social media and didn’t want you to worry.”

“It’s probably my fault he injured himself,” you mutter, kicking off your shoes. “I hope it’s not too bad.”

“Y/N, he’s fine,” Yeonjun assures you. “And how could it possibly be your fault? We aren’t even in the same country right now. The stage was probably just wet because of the rain from earlier.”

“I think I made him upset right before you guys went on stage. He said he missed me and I didn’t say it back, but I think he wanted me to.”

“Hmm, I guess he did seem a little down now that you mention it.”

“Well, tell him I said sorry.” Knowing that he was noticeably off tonight because of you makes you feel horrible. If you had just said it back, he probably could’ve focused on the show better.

“I mean, if you want to wait and tell him yourself, he’ll probably be back any second now.”

“I don’t really feel like talking anymore. Night, Jun. I’ll see you later.” Before Yeonjun can say bye, you’ve already hung up. You’ve never been more confused over your emotions than tonight.

Throwing a pillow over your head, you scream into it. Your love life is in shambles and all you can think about is Huening Kai’s stupid, possibly-sprained ankle.

—————-

When Kai’s plane lands, you’re the first person he wants to see. Before he even left, he made sure that you had a key to the apartment, something Yeonjun was always too lazy to do.

You haven’t brought up the disaster of a date you went on while he was away, and to your relief, he hasn’t asked about it either. It’s almost as if he doesn’t care that it happened.

Getting him to agree to watch the new Mean Girls remake for your weekly movie night was much easier than you expected. You had even prepared a whole speech for why he should relent even though it was supposed to be his choice tonight.

“It’s a musical,” you reasoned. “You’ll like it!”

You were very, very wrong. The movie was horrible, but at least that meant that the two of you could hate-watch it together.

“Those lyrics…” he starts, rubbing his temples as the closing credits played.

“And the costumes!” They were not going to age well.

“That was really bad,” he laughs. “That’s the last time I’m letting you pick when it’s my turn.”

“I have a feeling I’ll still be able to charm you in the future,” you say, batting your eyelashes.

“That is so not fair.” He crosses his arms. “Why are you so cute?”

“It’s my superpower,” you say, grinning. A few months ago, you would’ve never said something like that, but Kai makes you feel so much better about yourself.

The way you’re looking at him makes him blush, and he glances away hoping you haven’t noticed. His gaze focuses on the clock on the wall.

“Oh, Y/N, it’s past two.” Kai says. Time always seems to disappear when you’re together. “Do you want me to walk you home?”

Thunder booms outside the window and you can hear raindrops hitting the roof.

“That might be a bad idea. I can just call a car,” you say, grabbing your phone. He stops you.

“Just stay here,” he offers. “I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“You can’t sleep on the couch,” you disagree. “Yeonjun will think we’re mad at each other.”

“Well, if we sleep in here together, he’ll probably start planning our wedding.”

“I guess we’re losers in this game, huh?” you say, immediately cringing at the pun. The two of you exchange glances before cracking up.

Kai always takes longer to stop laughing than you. “Okay, how about this. You take the bed and I’ll sleep on the floor,” he says, still giddy.

“But it’s your bed! I can sleep on the floor.”

“I am not letting you sleep on the floor. You’re my guest.”

“This is stupid, Kai. Yeonjun doesn’t know the difference whether one of us sleeps on the floor or in the bed. We might as well just share.”

“But you snore, remember?”

“There’s actually no real evidence to that claim,” you refute.

“Well, it’s a twin sized bed. I might crush you.”

“I don’t need that much space. We can even sleep head to toe, if you want.”

“My feet stink. Your feet stink.” The effort he was going through to not share a bed with you was eating away at you. You’re sure he’s slept with his group mates plenty of times before, so what difference did it make?

“Oh my god! Fine, sleep on the floor.” You throw a pillow and one of his many plushies his way, turning on your side to face the wall. 

“Are you mad at me?” he asks from behind, his voice now quiet and careful. To be honest, you’re not quite sure whether you’re being serious or not.

You turn over to look at him, sitting on the edge of the bed, petting the plushie’s head.

“Kai,” you sit up. “Kai, look, I’m sorry. I’m not mad.”

“I feel like I’m always putting my foot in my mouth when I’m around you.”

“You’re not. I wouldn’t spend so much time with you if I didn’t want to.” You cup his cheek, running your thumb over one of his moles. “I promise.”

Yeonjun isn’t afraid to check you when you’re in the wrong, but Kai is too sweet to deal with any sort of confrontation. It’s something you’ve been having to adjust to lately.

“We can share the bed. I didn’t mean to make it seem like it was a bad thing,” he says. Sometimes you think he can read your mind.

“Okay,” you say, making room for him. He turns off the lamp and climbs in next to you, making sure to leave a big enough gap so he doesn’t touch you. Even in the dark, it’s obvious that he’s lying halfway off the mattress.

“You can come closer,” you say. God forbid he falls onto the floor in the middle of the night and it’s your fault for hogging all of the bed.

He moves inward, your faces so close that your noses are nearly touching. You could probably count his freckles from here.

Sure, every once in a while, you’ll lay your head on his shoulder or he’ll lay his in your lap, but this is much more intimate. Suddenly, your heartbeat feels too fast to fall asleep anymore.

“Y/N,” Kai whispers, although he already has your full attention. You like the way he says your name. His fingers grip your waist under the sheets, bringing you even closer. 

You tremble under his touch, his eyes locked on yours. This is a dangerous game.

In seconds, his mouth is pressed against yours, desperate and hungry. You’ve been kissed by boys before, but never like this. You can’t get enough of him.

You run your fingers through his hair, still soft even after several sessions of bleach. Like that night in the cab, you feel him hard against you, except now it’s intentional. It feels good.

Kai climbs on top of you, finding his way between your legs without breaking the kiss. You wonder how often he’s done this.

“We shouldn’t,” you breathe as he presses kisses along your collarbone, although it’s lost between your heavy sighs.

His hand grazes the waistband of your shorts. Visions of him doing the same with other girls—specifically the one from that morning—pop into your head. Panicking, you pull away from his kiss, using all of your strength to push him off of you.

“Y/N?” he asks, his lips puffy and his brows knitted in confusion. “What’s wrong?”

“I have to go,” you say, tugging down the hemline of your t-shirt, which had ridden up during the exchange. You hop off the bed and attempt to find your sneakers in the dark.

“Please don’t go,” he pleads with you, grabbing onto your wrist. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. It was stupid.”

You turn back to him, tears welling up in your eyes. “It was stupid?”

“No! That’s not what I meant. I just—I don’t want to do anything that could ruin our friendship. You mean too much to me, Y/N. I shouldn’t have kissed you, no matter how much I wanted to and no matter how good it felt.”

“It felt good?” you say, stepping towards him. It’s a relief to know he at least enjoyed it as much as you did.

“Really good,” Kai admits. “But it shouldn’t have happened. I can’t risk losing you.”

“Right.” It’s a really good point. “I don’t want to lose you either.”

“So… no kissing.”

“No kissing,” you agree.

“Anything else off the table?” He asks this in a way that you can’t tell if he’s flirting with you or not. You decide to take the risk and step closer to him. 

“I think cuddling is fair game. It would be too great a loss to our friendship.” You hold his hand.

“Mhmm, definitely.” He helps you climb back onto the bed before following suit, pressing his chest to your back, enveloping you in his warmth.

“You know, if I had you around in the wintertime, I’d save a lot on my heating bill,” you point out. 

“Go to sleep, silly,” Kai laughs, nuzzling his head into the nook above your shoulder. 

“Fine. Goodnight,” you yawn, your eyelids feeling heavier by the second.

“Sweet dreams, Y/N,” he whispers, although you’re already sound asleep, your soft snores filling the room.

—————-

When you wake up, Kai is gone. He’s left a note on the bedside table that reads: Went to get breakfast. Be back soon :-)

You stumble into the living room, rubbing your eyes as sunlight streams through the balcony doors. Yeonjun sits at the kitchen table, eating a bowl of cereal and watching footage from the group’s latest dance rehearsal.

“Be honest, did you and Huening fuck last night?”

“Good morning to you, too.”

“Come on, Y/N. I heard some suspicious shit when I went to the kitchen to grab water and unless he’s doing some magical switcharoo, you’ve been the only girl around for the last few months.”

“Is this some weird cross examination? Are you going to compare my story to his?” You try not to smile at the notion that Kai has stopped seeing other girls, but it makes you giddy.

“I wish. He wouldn’t tell me anything,” Yeonjun huffs.

“Well, if you must know, we made out for a few minutes. I panicked. He panicked. We both agreed to never do it again. End of story.”

“That’s no fun.”

“It’s not, but it prevents us from doing something we might regret and breaking up the entire friend group.”

“Do you like him like that?”

“I don’t know. It doesn’t matter.”

“It kind of does, Y/N. I’m pretty sure that boy is head over heels in love with you.”

The thought of Huening Kai being in love with you stops you dead in your tracks. Your Kai, secretly pining for your affection? You decide that it’s nothing more than a fantasy.

“That’s impossible,” you shrug. “It was just a moment of weakness between two friends. Nothing more, okay?”

Before you can discuss this any further, Kai is walking through the front door, coffee and pastries in hand.

“Y/N, you’re awake! I was scared I’d have to get you out of bed myself. Yeonjun was warning me how grumpy you are in the mornings.”

“She’s a monster,” Yeonjun says. You flick him on the side of the head. “Ouchie.”

“I don’t doubt it,” he giggles, unpacking enough doughnuts to feed an army. “I didn’t know which one you wanted, Y/N, so I just tried to pick ones I thought you’d like.” 

“I love honeydew, so you picked well,” you say, taking a bite of one with bright green filling. “Mmm! Where’d you get these?”

“Old Ferry Donut. It’s across town, but totally worth the trip. I go with my sisters all the time. You should come with us next time.”

“Ooh, introducing Y/N to the family. It’s getting serious,” Yeonjun teases. Kai shoots him a dirty look. He takes the hint, grabbing a couple of doughnuts on the way back to his bedroom.

“He can be such a dick sometimes,” Kai sighs.

“Yes, but he’s our dick,” you insist, trying not to let him ruin the moment.

“I suppose that’s true,” he laughs. It always makes you feel good about yourself whenever you manage to cheer him up. Usually, that’s his job with you. “I’d really like for Lea and Hiyyih to meet you, though. I think you’d all get along super well.”

“Then let’s set something up. I’m free all day,” you say, your mouth full of food.

“Really, Y/N?” Kai asks. You nod in agreement and his eyes light up at your enthusiasm. “This is awesome! I’ll text them right now!”

Maybe, just maybe, he really is in love with you.

—————-

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P.S.: Please shoot me an ask or a reply if you’d like to be added to (or removed from) the taglist! Also, I struggle to keep up with different lists for individual members, but if you really don’t want to be tagged on all of my works, just let me know and I will do my best to keep things separate <3

[solselah]

GODDESS MESSAGE

𓋹

PILE 1 :

𖤓HATHOR𖤓

Omg so immediately she wants to work with you as far as transformation is concerned!!! She can empathize and understand your emotional pain and physical Boundaries !! She sees that in love you have been so fucked over. Especially with the cheating and not being honest & non comital in totality she really wants to help usher in a new person , a new energy for you ! Even if they start as one of your closest friends ! She wants you to be Content and balanced !! She’s also letting you know , that person who fumbled you is definitely getting their just do with karma! And it manifest in a very specific way for this person , I’ll tell you now she is the reason why ! She’s teaching a very strong karmic lesson to this person & my love, to you as well! The twin flame card is here but I’m not feeling that energy at all , I’m more so feeling that this illusion has crumbled to pieces !! You wouldn’t even “care” if they were considered your twin flame honestly the hurt to you Goes way beyond a “dynamic” your over it ! And she can so sense it ! It’s up to you to be truthful and open to her if you are or plan on working with her energy ! Just know it’s a journey & also not everything is rainbow and unicorns with her ! She’s going to reveal to you some real sh*t !

𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹

PILE 2:

𓋹 🐈‍⬛ BASTET 🐈‍⬛ 𓋹

Bastet would like to tell you that there is some spiritual conversations going on in the spiritual realm about you !! She is showing up to help you out with your life’s purpose , giving you the push and encouragement you need to actually put yourself out there !! She intends for you to come into union with your passion! The issue here is that you are totally not willing to fully receive ! She is very strict about this message but in order to walk with her on this journey she would like to take with you , you would have to open up just a bit more ! Like you do your part she will do hers !! She also has some secrets she would love to disclose to you !! I’m talking she can be your spiritual ears when you aren’t around ! She has your back !! You just have to be actually willing !!

𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹

PILE 3:

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ NUT ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

okay so this beautiful goddess sends you intense messages not sure if you have put a name to who is sending these messages but I hope this helps !!

You dream and almost instantly forget once you wake up , she is in charge of taking up that empty space !! I think she is proving to you that parts of you are very closed off like even to the point where it has gotten spiritually silent for you ! That is intentional and will not LAST ! But she moves in complete silence when it comes down to it. She wants you to know YOU ARE SO PROTECTED! Don’t you even dare try to question that ! Like to the point you question her she might let a small mishap happen just so you see her energy LIVE IN ACTION !! She is Very big on lessons with you!! She can see future YOU , and honestly you are going places my friend ! So idk if you would officially decide to work with her but I do know she is there & around ! It’s like she is your encourager someone on the “sideline” for you spiritually!

𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹

PILE 4:

𓍝 MAAT 𓍝

“Give me the energy “

You could be so “bleh” right now like things just don’t seem worth being excited over, for you! She wants to bring you to a grounded space ! It’s obvious you aren’t the same person that you were like last year emotionally ! And she can see you doing better if you were to focus on your emotionally health ! Like she even encourages therapy or a tool that you can utilize to express exactly how you feel ! She also would love to just hear from you ; she can be that for you ! That support.

Although she will tell the truth EVERY TIME! And it may sting real bad , it’s imperative so that you can get up out of this state. It feels good to you right now but she can sense other things that you may not be able to at the moment. So she’s here to ground you , help put your feet on solid ground!!! I also see incense she may want you to burn some for her !! Also I’m getting heavy Aquarius energy along with Uranus energy !! She is highlighting a spiritual cleanse you may need to do !!

𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹

Hope you enjoy ❤️

IG:@soleccentric

[sweet-as-an-angel]

Heya!! can i request for yandere john wick (headcannons or give anything will work)

You probably know which Anon i am. Please forgive me i got a little too happy cuz you write so good for such good stuff!

Yandere John Wick Headcanons

Warnings: Obsessive Behaviour, Stalking, Snooping, Very Brief Implication of Smut, Just John in Love <333, No Pronouns used for Reader except ‘You.

A/N: I wanted to get these out before I watch the new John Wick film; one which I have been waiting for for the last 4 years <3

O B S E S S I V E

Absolutely an obsessive lucid yandere – he may be in love, but he’s not delusional.

Regardless of whether you came before or after Helen, John knows how cut-throat his profession is; how quickly everything can go from an is to a was.

Thus, nothing is certain. Not you, not him, not your relationship.

So when he realises he’s in love with you – a process as gradual as the construction of Earth itself – he’s never letting you out of his sight.

This might manifest as something as subtle as him visiting you more than usual, staying, longer during movie nights, trying to get you to spend the night more often; inconspicuous displays of a strengthening friendship you and John had accrued over the last couple years or so.

But, unbeknownst to you, he’s around even when you’re unaware.

An unmarked black car parked a house or two down the street, shielded by the shadows of the trees as moonlight casts a stark white against the black.

An inconspicuously-dressed civilian who’s been sat on that park bench for the last two hours as you read your book.

And, eventually, the tiny camera attached underneath your sofa, monitoring every coming and going of your house.

You know about none of this, of course.

Sure, you may have suspicions that the car down the street – one you’ve never seen before in your life – could be doing something… but who were you to judge ? There could be a perfectly logical explanation !

But John keeps enough of himself – and you – in the dark so you’d never suspect him.

I mean, why would you ? He’s John Wick ! Nicest, quietest guy on the block.

If ever he’s on a mission; John relies on that camera more than he’s like to admit.

In his downtime, while resting up at the Continental, he’ll check his phone, see that you’ve gone to the kitchen to make something or other, and wait for you to return to the sofa until he can put his phone away.

Even with his logical mind, he can’t help but fall partial victim to his superstition that, once you reach the sofa, nothing bad can happen to you.

The idea of putting up more cameras has crossed his mind.

Multiple times.

But you’re attentive. You’d notice something as small as a little blinking light a mile off.

Hencewhy he takes to manual surveillance when he’s not out earning a thriving.

He also lowkey interrogates you.

“You found a boyfriend yet ?”

You give a sharp laugh.

“If I had, you’d be the first to know,”

You already tell John practically everything that happens to you – as best friends do – but whenever you ask John something similar, he’ll skirt around your questions.

“No time for that,” he’ll tell you whenever you try to identify the new mystery partner in his life.

“You’re always so busy, John-John !”

Ah, his nickname. A mythic specialty no other has had the privilege to call him.

And John gives a rare smile.

“I’m never too busy for you.”

And you know he means it.

Whenever you need him, he’s there.

And you try to be there for him as much as possible, but given how elusive he is, he rarely seems to need it.

You want to help as best you can, regardless.

So, one day, out of the blue, you hand John a set of keys.

He’s a smart man. But he can’t wrap his head around what you’re trying to tell him.

And when he stares at you with a narrowed look, your eyes roll, the edges of your lips curling up.

“They’re keys, John,” you say. And you gesture around the living room, general in your manner. “To my house.”

And John stares at you for a moment. Then two.

“(Y/N), I’m not trained to be a housekeeper.”

“Oh my god, John–”

You have to explain to him that you’re not trying to get him to clean your house or care for it. You’re opening it up to him.

“I trust you more than anyone else to know how everything works here,” you say, a hand on his shoulder. He’s trying to keep dead eye contact with you, but the feeling of your fingers holding him with a softness he’s never known is like being branded.

“So,” you smile. “If you ever need it for anything, you can get in.”

Honestly, John has been granted few mercies in his time; makeshift alliances with murderers who were loyal to none, not even themselves, his life saved only by his ability to barter and his renowned skill for death. And never are these mercies granted without a price.

So to have you gift him a set of keys to the place you are most vulnerable takes John a while to come to terms with, shall we say.

Remember earlier when I mentioned John’s idea to install more cameras ?

Well, now you’ve given him a perfect in.

Plus, he now has access to all your personal belongings.

At first, he did try to restrain himself.

Trust me, he did.

But, as the days grew into weeks, your keys sat on his bedside, glinting under any source of light that could find its way inside.

And, as if the Gods aligned circumstance on his favour, you would be away from home for a week.

A trip to such-and-such a place – John had the address memorised even before you did.

You’d best believe that, although he initially had his reservations about 1.) you going on the trip, and 2.) using your absence as a means to snoop around your home, John is not immune to whim and fancy. Especially when it came to you.

He’s phantasmic; he leaves no trace, not even fingerprints as he prowls your apartment, looking for…well, anything, really.

He avoids stooping so low as to rifle through your underwear drawer like a stalker. Instead, he uses what he likes to call ‘environmental storytelling’ to make deductions about you.

He’s a very intuitive, perceptive individual, so the story of your everyday routing unfolds for him as if he were reading a book.

And, yes, the temptation to peek at the…less savoury pieces of your inventory did become overwhelming when he could no longer be satiated with the literature you consumed, the worn look of your favourite outfit, your secret money stash you kept in the biscuit tin in the kitchen.

To make a long story short, John walked out your house with a short of yours.

And, when he got home, he did the only thing he could think to do.

He put it on a pillow and pretended it was you.

Cuddles with it whenever he’s missing you. Or sad.

Maaay have cried into it on more than one occasion.

Maaay have done…other things to it when he wasn’t feeling upset.

He’s absolutely paranoid that you’ll find it one day, despite his aptitude at covering his tracks, so he tries not to invite you to his house as much as he can.

However, as your friendship progresses further, that’s unavoidable.

While you may not be dating yet, just know that John holds you in the highest of regards, and he’ll never let anything – including himself – hurt you.

Just ignore his eye wandering to the walk-in cupboard in the hallway; that’s just where he’s kept his imitation of you.

Reblog for more content like this! It helps creators like myself tremendously and it is greatly appreciated :-)

Masterlist Masterpost

Yandere Masterlist Juicy Original Content <3

[zzeraphilm]

little white lies

Shinsou Hitoshi x GN!Reader word count: 2,517 summary: shinsou and y/n's childhood dream was to become heroes, side by side. but as you grow up, reality hits hard, and sometimes lies make the pain easier to bare.

Tiny pitter pattering feet crunched the granite beneath them. Two little children, imagining their powers, capturing villains and saving the world. With their school jumpers tied around their necks, their makeshift capes fluttered in the wind as they ran around the monkey bars. 

“Ah ha! Stay back villain! The twin heroes Étoile and- Hitoshi, did you think of a hero name yet?” Y/N, the taller of the duo, snapped at the little boy beside them. 

“Uhm, not yet I’m still thinking about it.” He mumbled.

“You should do some research! My dad showed me all of the ways heroes can be named! I picked mine because it means star in French! One day I hope to be a shining star that saves people!” 

The thick head of purple hair bobbed up and down, nodding along to the ramblings of his friend. Since his first quirk manifestation, he has been scared to show Y/N his ability, brainwashing isn’t particularly associated with heroism. In Shinsou’s eyes, Y/N was blessed with the perfect quirk to become a hero unlike him. He remembers the day their quirk manifested, they were on their way to school and the scatterbrained Y/N tripped on the cracked pavement, bracing for impact they felt a beam of light pushing them upwards in the air. From their fingertips, the rays of sunlight had curved into a little cloud for them.

They were smiling ear to ear, their happiness so infectious that Shinsou couldn’t help but cheer. From then on, in class Y/N would mould the various rays of light from a lamp or fire into a multitude of objects, shapes and weapons. Their class praised Y/N, knowing their future success as a hero was guaranteed. Shinsou couldn’t continue to be petty around Y/N, his friend was quite literally the light of his life, and he just wanted to remain by their side. 

Towards their second year in Middle School, Y/N’s life took a drastic turn. Their family had to relocate out of their town, meaning Shinsou would be left for the dogs in his high school who would torment his dreams of becoming a hero alongside Y/N. They promised to continue to talk everyday, Y/N would send extensive messages, updates about their life in their new town. How they befriended many people and have started their own Hero Appreciation Club at their new school.

Shinsou buried his jealousy like second skin. He lied through his teeth like it was biological to him. Y/N knew of Shinsou’s quirk, they reassured him that despite everything, he could become an incredible hero. But with the world around him painting him to be the perfect villain to Y/N’s hero, he despised the thought of being a hero. So when on their weekly phone call to each other, as Y/N rambled about attending a hero school and how they wanted to live up to their childhood dream. Shinsou agreed, said he felt the same and promised to live up to Y/N’s wishes. That was when the lies first started. 

Shinsou got into UA’s General Studies course, his grades were excellent and the prestige of UA’s reputation around the world was enough for his parents to agree in his admission. Despite knowing that he had tried so hard to get into the hero course. It was futile, because a useless quirk as his would never work in a battlefield situation. 

Y/N succeeded in getting into the hero course at Shiketsu High School, at the news of their admission into the hero course, Y/N cheered endlessly on the phone with Shinsou. So excited to finally see their dream come to fruition. Upon asking if Shinsou held up his end of the plan, he said he did. That he got into UA. He just didn’t mention which class, so Y/N assumed that everything was fine. That they would soon be reunited as heroes. 

Being a part of the hero class meant Y/N was constantly busy, unlike Shinsou. His high school life was as ordinary as one could have it, he had thought multiple times to drop out and go to a regular school. It would’ve made no difference, yet whenever him and Y/N spoke, he felt guilty. A sticky, black tar-like feeling at the pit of this throat. He didn’t want to disappoint them. He wanted to be the boy that was always by their side, in every dream and every thought. He just wanted to be beside them again. And if that meant he had to maintain this facade of a hero-to-be, then so be it. As long as it remains just between him and Y/N. 

“Then we had to do these 2v2 fights in a hypothetical villain attack. It was crazy, I think I really got into the character of a villain!” They laughed through the screen, as they tilted their head at Shinsou’s nonchalant hummed response. 

“Toshi, how’s your hero studies been going? Do you guys have a lot of written content to cover?” 

Shinsou stopped scribbling in his notebook, he couldn’t have Y/N think that they failed to get into the hero course, and was merely a general studies student. He broke his train of thought with a cough.

“Yeah kinda. Uhh, Mr Aizawa is getting us to make notes on past rescue missions for an assignment.” He had lost count over how many lies he had said, maybe this was the 100th one but he couldn’t remember. Just as long as Y/N believes him. 

“Oh wow! To think Eraserhead would be such a strict guy. My teachers think it’s best to learn through doing, so my hands are too sore to even pick up a pen nowadays!” Before they could finish their sentence they yawned loudly. “Ah, I’m so sorry Toshi, I’ve been so tired lately.” 

Shinsou couldn’t help but smile at how cute they looked trying to stop themselves from falling asleep. 

“Then go to bed stinky. You gotta wake up early tomorrow,” With a light hum and a slow nod with their head, Y/N waved him goodbye. 

Shinsou was afraid of course, if Y/N found out the truth, that their childhood friend was a disgusting liar with a villainous quirk so of course he would manipulate them into believing everything he said. His mind was full of self-sabotaging and self-despising thoughts. He could only shove his mind into his studies to cover up the screams in his head. 

News of the attack in USJ spread across the school like wildfire, the thought of a villain attack sent a shivers down the spine of every student. Of course, the news spread to the rest of the country, with Y/N spamming Shinsou’s phone with endless missed calls and messages. Shit. He was so busy lately with his studies that he forgot about Y/N thinking he was with the hero class. 

12 missed calls from Y/N ☆ Hitoshi answer me Pls Pls answer me R u okay?!?? Pick up my calls!

“Hello?” 

“Hitoshi! Where are you? Are you okay? Did you get hurt? I saw the news and- oh God I can’t even- Please tell me you’re not hurt!” 

Y/N’s mind was spiralling out of control, endless visions of Shinsou hurt and pinned down by a villain flooded their mind. They felt sick with anxiety, they had cried themselves to sleep the night before thinking the worst because Shinsou hadn’t responded to them. 

“I’m okay. I’m fine, luckily I called in sick.” He mumbled. 

Relief flooded over their body, Y/N physically felt the weight of worry be lifted from their soul. 

“Thank goodness, how are your classmates? Are they recovering okay? I’m so sorry you guys had to go through that. You know can always talk to me Toshi. I know we’ve been busy lately to even talk but I’m always here for you.” 

Shinsou felt dirty, he felt disgusting for the lies that he had laid. He had dug himself in his own grave by this point. 

“Yeah, thanks Y/N. I’ve- I’ve got to go there’s some stuff I’ve got to do.”

“Of course Toshi, just message me when you get home! Stay safe.” Click. 

The two tried to speak regularly, but with the stress of their hero activities and Shinsou’s growing guilt turned resentful - they hadn’t spoken in over a month. The UA Sports Festival was fast approaching and Y/N had already been bragging to the rest of their friends about Shinsou. How excited they were to see him on the screen, hyping everyone in the room with their shining persona. Any mention of Shinsou, Y/N instantly beamed and everyone knew from a mile away how much the boy meant to them. The rest of Class 1-A at Shiketsu had their eyes glued to the screen upon the announcement of the UA Sports Festival. Y/N was busy writing their message to Shinsou wishing him luck. Despite the extensive chat history largely consisting of missed calls and messages from Y/N.

Shinsou tried to block out Y/N from his life the last few weeks, muting their messages and focusing their studies. Seeing Class 1-A at UA going about their days ignited a fire within him. He had been so spiteful of himself, for lying to Y/N about his hero journey, it only justified his own beliefs that he couldn’t become a hero like them. To then seeing the danger 1-A posed for the rest of the school, he felt cluster of emotions, ranging from spite, hatred, jealousy, envy and disappointment. Mainly towards himself. His self-sabotaging behaviour had only fuelled his disbelief over himself, seeing others succeed in the dream he and Y/N had made him sick. 

By now, he did not care for Y/N, he had become blinded by his envy. His self-hatred. His new found desire to win. 

“Guys it’s starting!” Y/N had invited their classmates and close friends to their parents’ home to watch the sports festival together. They huddled around the television screen, on the sofa, the floor and even on top of each others laps. Bags of chips and snacks messily spread across the table and multiple cups of juice were handed out. They were all excited to see the infamous Shinsou Hitoshi that their beloved classmate would fawn over. 

The silent shock that cast over the room was deafening, Shinsou walked out along with the general studies class and all of a sudden the attention was towards Y/N. It moved so fast that they barely noticed they had moved onto the next class. Nobody wanted to call Y/N’s bluff and continued to watch in silence. Each move that Shinsou took didn’t live up to the heroic version of him in their minds. Some even saw him as, villainous. Y/N didn’t speak, didn’t take a sip or eat anything. Their eyes were glued to the screen, jaw tightly locked in position and their fists balled till their skin turned white. 

The day was supposed to be a fun, class get together at their friends house to cheer for their favourite UA student. No one would’ve guessed that it was all a lie. Some of their classmates knew of Shinsou’s quirk briefly, some had no idea that he could brainwash people. So during the student-student battle rounds, they were left shocked at how unsportsmanlike Shinsou was, the way he manipulated his quirk to win. He was nothing like how Y/N described him, this boy who was full of wonder and was always determined to be by Y/N’s side. Some of the students felt sick, some of the students resembled the same kinds of people that swayed Shinsou away from his dreams of becoming a hero. Before the fight between Midoriya Izuku and Shinsou could take place, Y/N turned off the TV and walked out the room. No one tried to console them. 

Well done for today. Call me when you’re free.

“Y/N, you there?”

“Shinsou why did you lie to me?” 

His heart almost skipped a beat at his exposure. 

“I didn’t mean to lie to you.”

A new found anger filled Y/N’s voice, they screamed. “But you did! For almost half a year! You pretended to be a part of 1-A, I thought you almost died at USJ! Yet I see you on national television using your quirk like your some sort of-“

“Some sort of what?! Villain? I fought damn hard today, I’m not having you prove them all right!” 

The call cut abruptly, both Y/N and Shinsou were left aghast. Years of dreams together and years of friendship. Suddenly began to melt away. Had their feelings for each other, their dreams to be together side by side as heroes come to an end now?

Since they last spoke on the phone, Y/N became fully integrated into Shiketsu High’s hero course, ignoring the rest of the world around them. Allowing themselves to be swallowed whole by their hero activities. Despite their hard work, their mind was always elsewhere. Their last conversation with Shinsou left a bitter taste in their mouth that nothing could clean out. Maybe if they had been more understanding, they could’ve fixed everything. 

Unlike a few of their classmates, Y/N pass their Provisional Licence exam with a breeze. Only a few more steps closer to becoming a pro, was all that was driving Y/N to continue with their studies. Their endless spiralling thoughts had consumed them to the point of delusion that only a harsh voice from a certain pro-hero caught broke their train of thought.

“Are you Y/N L/N?” 

They whipped their head around to face the Erasure hero, Eraserhead. Aizawa Shota, who upon close inspection, was the older spitting image of Shinsou. Y/N cursed how the image of Shinsou followed them everywhere they turned. 

“You’re friends with Shinsou Hitoshi from UA, yes?” They gave a hesitant nod. 

“Well he reached out to me to train him, tell me. Do you think he can do it, train to become a hero?” His stagnant voice held no indication of hope nor malice. So this was Class 1-A’s teacher.

Y/N could only recall the memories of their childhood with Shinsou, where despite his smaller frame compared to other kids, his slight stammer as a child. He would always stand up for Y/N no matter what, he would always hold their hand whenever it would get dark sooner than expected. How Shinsou would always give them the other half of his candy to make sure that Y/N would always have something to eat or smile at. How no matter what Shinsou would be by their side, even if they were apart, the spirit of him was always leaning over them. Y/N knew, from the very first day they met him, that Shinsou was their hero.

“Yes. I know he can become the greatest hero, because he’s always been mine.” 

[versethetic]

NOT PERFECT. JUST LOYAL.

i like to keep things real here so i tend to share my slight struggles with loa so that others who’ve gone through the same thing don’t beat themselves up over it.

but i’ve actually only fully understood what it means to live in imagination for a little while now;, and then put it to good use just a couple weeks ago.

despite knowing about the law for over a year…💀

OVER. A. YEAR…💀💀💀

even then, i got so caught up in making the images in my head perfect, or making sure i’m “saying the right affirmations" which obviously didn't help my case

i love reading loa posts because they make me feel nice and inspired and just remind me of my power but i somehow equated that as me overconsuming info and then i would spiral within my own head.

i would barely think of my desires as mine and when i did for only a day or two, i’d then turn around and believe that i wasn’t doing enough, that i need to affirm more or visualize for an hour and walk through every step of my day in my new perfect life or else it wouldn't manifest.

loyal according to merriam webster is "unswerving in allegiance"

all the way up until a couple weeks ago, i was not loyal to the idea that my imagination is all i need. i was not loyal to the idea that the 3d means absolutely nothing in terms of “getting” what you want, because there was nothing for me to get. now, i have become loyal to already having my perfect life.

i am that bitch. i am the prettiest princess. i am the smartest in school. i am the most famous. but i didn't need to have the perfect mindset with loa to realize it.

do you see where i’m going with this?

IMAGINATION IS ALL YOU NEED

granted, i had my days after this realization where i still struggled with techniques or accepting my new life as mine, but now i know that if i don’t identify with these things, it has not a single setback on my manifestations.

no matter what i was feeling, i told myself “i have it, my life is perfect, i am calm, i have it in imagination, the old senses are dead to me, i know what’s in my mind is the real truth”

when loa blogs say that you know you have it, it’s not some cheap trick they spew out because everyone else is saying it. if you imagine what you want, it’s officially set in stone. what you think comes to life.

the 3d is the afterimage, the product of a movie you directed, wrote, produced and starred in. you just need to stick with this fact through thick and thin, sleet or snow.

YOU are what the 3d answers to.

YOU are what the mirror reflects.

YOU decide how simple things are for you.

if you woke up and the old senses in front of your human eyes still show something you don’t like, are you gonna take that as a fact?

when you know and are loyal to the fact that your godly brain is showing you that devoted sp you have? that grand big mansion you live in? that whole new life you’re dwelling in?

NO. you’re not. think of you and you're 4d as BFFs who'll never separate, who tell each other everything and have those bff necklaces and go everywhere and do everything with each other. or imagine you're a ceo and your 4d is a loyal secretary who never asks questions and simply obeys whatever you tell it to do, because it trusts YOU. it works for YOU. however you wanna see it, you and your 4d are locked in 🔐🤞, okay? it is not separate from you, it does not seek guidance or information from anywhere other than YOU.

IT IS YOU.

and it took me a long time to see that.

it might be hard at first and the acceptance might not always be there. but i am making a conscious effort to at LEAST continuously tell myself that my imagination is all that matters. to at LEAST believe that what i want is already mine, and that’s the LEAST you can do as well.

your journey does not have to be perfect. your mindset does not have to be perfect. your feelings do not have to be perfect. mine definitely weren't. you just need to be loyal to your imagination.

[writers-hes]

Borrowed Time

SYNOPSIS: You always knew Tommy as the cheerful boy who took care of you. He always knew you as the smart girl that he visited by the docks. The daughter of a prostitute, the son of a deadbeat father; a soldier who protected his country; a whore who protected him; a gangster who controlled Brimingham; and now, a wife. War changes people, you just didn't realize that war could change you both. (angst, abuse, canon-typical themes, death, war)

Chapter synopsis: The end of the story.

AN: Don’t look at the comments / reblogs if you don’t want spoilers!! But please discuss what you think once you’re done reading 🤍

LONDON, 1921

Tommy sits in his chair, unmoving. Dying becomes an issue to him if it affected you this way. Ever since the war, he thought that he was living for free. It didn’t matter if he died now since he was on the verge of dying every day in France but…was this a physical manifestation of what you felt every single day for the four years that he was gone?

“I only have less than three hours left,” you mumbled, eyebrows furrowing on the teacup on the table. “I’m not-I’m not supposed to be here, Tommy…he will kill you if he catches me here.” you whispered, afraid to let the whole world know about how terrible Simon truly was. 

“Hey, you’re alright,” his voice soothes you; the raspiness sending shivers down your spine. He was sitting beside you now, a hand on your bouncing knee. “I made sure you’re alright,”

“Tommy, I know that you hate me,” you sobbed, shaking your head.  “I’m sorry for what-what I did but I…we had these plans together of—of living in a future where it’s just us and—”

“It’s alright,” he says. Seeing you risk everything just to warn him was already enough proof that you were sorry. “I’m sorry for all of the things that I said that night,”

“You’ve-you’ve got to believe me when I tell you that I…I sent you letters every week,” you pleaded. “I know that you might think that I forgot about you, but I never forgot about you, Tom. I’m sorry for believing that you’d think I was replaceable…that I didn’t matter to you,” you whispered the last part, hands on your lap forming into fists. 

Would now be a wrong time to tell you that he loves you? 

“How do you…” he coughs, trying to veer away from the road where you were going. He couldn’t do this now, not when everything’s slowly set in motion. “How did you get the information?”

You fished for the paper in your clutch, showing it to him. 

“I received this during a charity dinner in London,” you said. “I tried everything to put Simon away from you…but I couldn’t. I failed and now…now he’s out to kill you,” 

“He’s not going to kill me,” he replied. “It was Alfie’s men who put that there,”

“But he will!” you exclaimed, looking up at him. “He knows Alfie Solomons…”

“So do I,” he calmly says. “Alfie Solomons and I have an agreement,”

“He killed Johnny,” you warned him, but he was looking at you blankly and you feel despondent. “Alfie Solomons…killed Johnny. Has he not?”

“It was Darby Sabini who killed Johnny. To retaliate, I infiltrated the Eden Club. Alfie Solomons’ men were in charge of security and protection but Darby Sabini’s in charge of whatever dirty work Simon wanted to get done. Their dealings started recently with Johnny’s death,” he says. “It’s not—I,” he sighs, not finding the right words to say.

“Tommy…”

“Whatever happens to me isn’t your fault, Y/N.” He means it, you could tell but a small part of you still couldn’t quite grasp the measures that Simon will undertake to keep you close. “Y/N, love, it’s alright,”

“No- I…I can still try to persuade Simon. I’ll give that-that heir he wants so bad just please don’t…” you heaved, choking on your own tears. The way Tommy said it…like he knew that he was dying soon made you feel cold. You've come so far, would you really let Simon kill Tommy that easily? Tommy's hand on your knee tightens momentarily but he lets it go.

“You will do nothing of that sort,” his throat constricts. “You won’t have to do things you don’t want to anymore. I’m—I’m here now. I want you to be happy and I’ll do everything to make sure that you are but if an heir with him is something that you—“

“I don’t want to carry his child,” you shook your head. “Tommy, can’t you see? I just want you to live and be—be happy. We both changed since you left. The war took so, so much from you, Tom. We’ve both said things we cannot take back but God, Tommy. I want us to be happy and I want you to rest,” 

“We can rest together…be happy together,” he proposes. “Our future isn’t that far away if—“

“How?” you asked, voice small and eyes full of tears. “How?”

“No more running away. I have a plan,” he tells you, but he didn’t want to divulge the details. His blue eyes stare directly into you. His face was blank, but his body was leaning towards you, gentle hand still on your knee. “Hey,” he says, putting his hands on top of yours. You started to pick on your nail beds again. He interlocks his fingers with yours and you smile slightly. Just like when you were kids. 

“Sorry,”

“Y/N,” he stops himself. Why did you have to apologize for everything?. “I…I wrote to you,”

“Tommy—“

“I did. I waited for your letter everyday. I-I would be the first one to be there when letters were being sent but I sent them to Watery Lane,” he says. “I can’t go on with this without you knowing that I waited for you. I don’t want you to think that I’ve abandoned you because I don’t. I could never.”

He didn’t know where his courage was coming from. Maybe it was because he could feel the end coming soon. He was so scared to die without letting you know about what he truly felt for you, no matter how selfish that sounded. He wouldn’t die until he tells you about how much he loved you, about how deep this love ran through him.

“I know…Arthur told me,” you nodded. You blink away the tears that threatened to fall. “It’s me who didn’t wait for you and I-I regret it every day, you know? Not waiting…because I wouldn’t—I wouldn’t be here if I did and—I’ve always believed in your promises, Tommy. I knew that you were going to keep them but I—“

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” he soothes you, he’d be asking Arthur about that sometime. “I’m not angry. I’m alright, you’re alright, we’re alright,” You didn’t believe him though and neither did he. 

“Tommy?” you asked. “Do you know who tried to stop the letters?”

“I do,” he replied.

“You don’t want to tell me?”

 He hums.

“Can you hold me? Instead of telling me?”

Borrowed time, you were on borrowed time and all you wanted was Tommy’s arms around you. Love is a funny thing. The world was ending and all you could ever think of is how Tommy’s hands were made for destruction, but they were also made to hold yours. 

-

The house was dark when you came back. For a house filled with servants, the house was quiet  An eerie feeling washes over you and you walked on, looking for anyone. Instead, the fireplace was open, flames roaring while your husband sat. He was looking intently into the fire, smoking his pipe. 

“Where did you go?”

“Out and about,” you said, the lie rolling perfectly from your tongue. 

“I see,” he nods. “Did you know that Ada Shelby was abducted today?”

You stopped, ice creeping up your spine.

“Tommy Shelby captured the Eden Club owned by Sabini and then, Sabini abducted Ada Shelby.” he says it like it was nothing. “I wonder why Tommy Shelby captured the Eden Club. Do you happen to know why?”

“No, Simon,” you shakily replied. “Why…?”

“Because Darby Sabini killed Big Johnny. Do you know why?” he asked. “You don’t because you’re a fucking idiot, but I’ll lay it down for you. Nice and simple so you can understand. I ordered the death of Big Johnny to punish you for hiding who Tommy Shelby was. I ordered Ada’s abduction because you went to see Tommy Shelby today. I ordered for the death of all the Shelbys—even the children so you would never have to worry about them. I tried to be reasonable, but you wouldn’t listen. Maybe you’d listen to me once all of those Birmingham rats are dead, hm? You’ll have to carry the weight of their deaths in your shoulder because you wouldn’t listen. It’s your fault they’re dying. It’s your fault that Johnny died. I liked him and you killed him,”

“I gave you everything. I love you with all of me and all that I have but you…you still love someone else. What do I have to do for you to love me like you love him?” he asked. He wasn’t looking at you, he was just unmoving…smoking his pipe like he was telling you about today’s weather. You were shaking, afraid for them and for your life. 

“Stop crying,” he orders you, but you couldn’t stop. How could you? He just revealed all of his plans—all the things that he wanted to do to them. “Go to our room and stop fucking crying!”

-

“Well, you look like shit,” Polly says, seeing Tommy on the hospital bed. “What did you do this time?”

“Sabini’s men took me and beat me up,”

“They wouldn’t beat you up without anything. They wouldn’t abduct Ada without reason. I heard that someonedecided to drop by. What did you talk about?”

“Nothing that I don’t already know,” he shrugs. “Can you pass me a cigarette?”

“You want me to help you but you’re not fucking telling me anything,” Polly says, tossing the pack to Tommy’s chest. “What is it, Tommy?”

“Poll—“

“Tom,” she asserts sternly. “You tell me now or I will get it out of her,”

“Fuck,” he groans, head falling back. “Simon killed Johnny and ordered Sabini to kill all of us. They know that I was staying at Ada’s and saw her enter Ada’s house and got us to where we are now,”

“Fuck…but we’re talking about our lives here, Tom.” Polly stresses. “Do you think that you get to have a say on whether or not we’re dying just because of a promise you made when you were young and naive?”

“I think it’s better if you all leave me to deal with this whole…thing,” Tommy says. “You’re right. Your life is on the line and I’m not really accomplishing anything if you all fucking die because of me. It’s not Y/N’s fault. It’s…that fucking husband of hers! If you really want to know, Polly…since you did give her away, yeah? Simon’s out to get all of us, even Y/N.”

Polly feels her throat tighten. This…this is what she gave you away for. Her nephew on the brink of dying, Ada with multiple fucking bruises, the threat of death, and then, the receiver of all anger…you. 

“That girl is like my daughter,” Polly says. “I will help you, Tom but you have to promise me that—that you will be honest with me. Don’t keep us in the fucking dark. It’s not your own problem anymore. It’s ours,”

“Alright,”

“I know you have a plan. What is it?” Polly asked, inhaling. “Honesty, Tom,”

“I…I made a deal with Alfie Solomons. We are alliances. He works with Simon for Y/N’s security and I allowed a few of his bookies to be in the racetracks in exchange of ensuring…well, Y/N’s safety,” It was half the truth. The other details, Tommy had to omit to ensure the execution—

“Stop fucking hiding,” Poll warns. “Tommy, you have to tell me,”

“Fuck—“ he coughs. “Everything is set in motion, Poll…there’s nothing else,” Polly looks at Tommy, there was no way for him to let up anything. Tommy was just staring at her, uninterested. He held her gaze, but she knew that there was nothing else. Tommy made up his mind about something; she just wished that it would turn out alright. 

-

“I’d like to stroll around the garden today,” you told one of the servants. Life at home had been back to the way things were. Simon was back to the old Simon that you knew but somehow, you felt like your every move was watched. 

“I’m sorry, miss but Mr. Coventry told us that you can only go to the garden with him,” she replied. “We can call on Mr. Coventry to ask…”

“What-what do you mean?” you asked. “I thought I was allowed to go…”

“Mr. Coventry told us that you can only go out of the house with him and that, if he isn’t around, you’re only allowed to be inside the house,” she repeated. You swallowed the constriction in your throat, unable to form any sentence. “We were also instructed to be with you at every single moment, miss,” 

“What?” you asked, frowning. “I don’t need to be tended to every minute of the day,”

“But miss—“

“You may leave. I’ll go to the garden alone and you can just tell Simon that I insisted on it,” you told her, walking away but she grabs your arm. “I didn’t tell you that you can touch me,” you spit. You’ll feel bad about it later but for now, you need to go out. The house was suffocating, and you felt like you were being watched. 

“Miss—“

“Leave me alone,” you scowled. “I want to go to the garden,”

“Oh, darling but you can’t,” Simon says, mocking you. “I told the servants to follow my orders. With the stunts that you’ve been pulling lately, I think it’s just fine to have you close and protected, hm?” he asked, walking over to you.

“Simon, this isn’t right,” you begged. “I’ve been cooped in the house for too long. I need-I want to go out,”

“I wish you could, but I have to go attend a meeting with Alfie Solomons. Did you know that I had your old driver killed? It’s all because of you,” he chuckles. He dismisses the servants with a wave of his hand. “You have to understand that I…I’m doing it for our family. You can hate me,” he states, walking a step closer to you. “Or push me away…” he adds, a tendril of your hair swirling in his fingertips. “You can even try to kill me,” he chuckles, his breath on your ear. “But you’re still mine. You’re my wife. You’re my fucking wife!”

You shuddered, pushing him away. 

“You’re taking everything away from me, Simon,”

“I’m just taking back what I gave you,” 

“My…my freedom. You took away my freedom,” you cried. “You took Johnny away from me! You took the Shelby’s away from me,”

A slap echoes in the halls. 

“Don’t you dare fucking say that I took the Shelbys away from you. They were taking you away from me!” he roared, chest heaving. “What—you didn’t think I would feel magically alright when you visited Tommy Shelby the other day? You didn’t think I wouldn’t know about that fucking locket that you lied to me about? We were having a wedding and you still had Tommy Shelby on you! You think I’d be happy about that? I love you and I…I gave you everything! But I still have to try to read your mind. Tommy doesn’t. You…you’d rather live in the sewers with that fucking criminal than be here with me,”

He caresses the stinging on your cheek, wiping your tears away.

“What does he have that I don’t?”

-

You were locked inside your bedroom, your heart aching. He loves you…but he hurts you. He’s cruel and controlling and full of wrath but he’s dependent and loving and kind. You hated to admit it, but you understood his fears, his anger, and him. 

What if you stole one of the cars right now? You could drive down to Birmingham and stay there or…or you could leave, find a place to stay in Ireland and never be heard of again. Will Simon shoot down the car? Will he shoot you, too? Or will he forbid you to even set your foot in England ever again? 

Simon enters your room, disregarding you completely before sitting on the bed with you. 

“I’m sorry,” he says, his hand covering yours. “I didn’t mean to…to do that,”

Right. 

“Simon…”

“I’m sorry, please,” he says, coming closer to you but you only feel cold and repulsed. “Please, darling… I don’t want to do these things to you. Do you think it doesn’t hurt me when I have to take things away from you? I just can’t…not until I’m sure that I can trust you.”

You closed your eyes, tears falling on the hands that connected you to your husband. 

“I’m so tired, Simon,” you whispered. “You…you taunt me and-and you turn my freedom into your weapon. I understand that you’re angry but to do that…to do the things that your father did to your mother…when you told me before that you hated him for it…what does that make you?” you asked. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree…was that supposed to be your excuse every time he does something horrible?

“I—I…”

“I married you not because I know that you can give all these things to me. I married you because you told me you loved me. You told me that I was important to you…but is this what love is? Is love supposed to be painful? Is love supposed to bruise? Is this what love is supposed to be like?” you asked. You removed your hand from his, standing up and walking away. If this is what love bruises you like peaches, you wanted no part of it. 

Simon has given you the wings to fly but he likes to cut them whenever you fly too close to the sun. 

When you lay in bed that night, Simon’s arm draped on your figure, you only felt cold. You laid on the softest bed in the world, unmoving…unblinking. 

Maybe you'll be free another time.

-

“I’m sorry for what I did,” he says, setting his utensils down on the dining table. “You have…you have every reason to be mad at me,” 

“Simon,” you sighed. You’ve been playing with your food for a while. “You…you can’t just say sorry every time you decide to…hurt me. I want to be able to love you without fearing for my life,”

“It’s just…Tommy Shelby.”

“I don’t have him anymore,” you told him. “Tommy and I…are nothing but childhood friends. His father used to frequent the brothel when my mother was still alive. He—and I grew up together and he was all I had until he left. Now, I only have you,” you said. “My relationship with the Shelbys is nothing but familial. They took care of me, they took me under their wing,” 

“But he loves you,” he replied. “He loves you, Y/N and he wants to take you away from me! Do you not appreciate my efforts to ensure that our marriage is preserved?”

“What preservation?” you asked, standing up. “What—what preservation? You killed Johnny and you expect me to be alright with it. You took away my friends, my freedom…and you—you expect me to be the same!” You chuckled. “Preservation? You’re the only one killing this marriage, Simon. I love you but no matter how much I show it…it will never be enough,” 

“Then, kill Tommy Shelby!” his voice booms. “You want me to trust you? You want me to see your love? Kill him! We have more than enough money to have one of Alfie’s men or Sabini’s men to kill him. Kill him!”

Your face pinches in anger, eyes turning into slits. 

“What? You can’t be serious,” you scoffed. Simon takes your arm harshly and you flinched. He grips it in his hand, forcing you to stay immobile.

“Kill him,” he spits. “Your love means nothing to me if you won’t,”

“And you think I’ll continue to love you when you’re forcing me to kill my friend?” you asked, shaking your head. “Let me go!”

“No!” his voice booms. He drags you to his office, your legs stumbling behind him. “You have to decide if you’ll kill for me. I’ll kill for you, don’t you know that?” he asked, throwing you on the couch in his study. “I’ll kill for you…”

You stand up to leave but he pushes you down. 

“I don’t care if you don’t love me right now. You will love me again. You’ve been obedient for Tommy’s sake…that’s the greatest love of all and I—I don’t have it,” he whispers. “It’s all I’ve ever wanted and I don’t have it.”  He shakes his head, watching your husband turn into the cruel man that you learned to hate. He walks towards the door and exits. You run after him but he forces the door closed from the other side. 

“Make sure that Mrs. Coventry is taken care of,” he tells his security. “Only maids are allowed to be inside but don’t let anyone near the door until I leave. She will remain in this room until I arrive in the evening.”

You were rattling the door but to no avail. Your tears were freely flowing, trying to get the door open by slamming your body on it. You could hear the quiet murmur outside but they were all ignoring you.

“Let me out, Simon!” you sobbed. “Let me out! Let me out…please!” you cried, slamming your body harder but it couldn’t fucking open. Your fall on the floor, consoling yourself from the coldness and the darkness of Simon’s office. If your mother saw you today, would she be proud of you?

-

Time passes in Tommy’s eyes, his eyes blank. Alfie Solomons told him to wait but he couldn’t. Their men surrounded the mansion, pretending to be your security but they’ve been planning the seeds, telling Tommy that you weren’t allowed to be out of the house with your husband anymore. He heard some of the men joke that you were a ghost that sat on the window because they have never even seen you. 

“Tommy,” Alfie called, a young man trailing after him. “I’ve got someone useful for you. One of my men in Coventry’s fucking mansion. Go on, David. Tell Mr. Shelby here about the fucking horrors in that big, big mansion,”

David nods, his resolve dissolving upon seeing Tommy’s icy stare directed at him. 

“My name is David and I’m assigned to the security of the house. Mrs. Coventry is currently locked in Mr. Coventry’s house—“

“Ah, fuck, mate. Just say Y/N and Simon. These fucking names really…” Alfie interjected. He nods. 

“Um—Simon laid a hand on Y/N yesterday,” his eyes looking away from Tommy. “She’s not allowed to-to go out of Simon’s study…after Y/N refused to have Mr. Shelby killed”

“What about the driver that brought her to me?”

“He’s dead. Darby Sabini’s men killed him,” Alfie shrugged. He dismisses David with a wave of his hand.  “Be honest with me, Tommy. Who is she? Because it’s quite absurd, innit? Here is a man with a wife and then another man who vows to what? Take her back? If I was Simon Coventry…I would be mad too, is what I’m saying. Did you know the tenth commandment, mate? Thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s wife…did you know that?”

“No one,” was Tommy’s laconic reply, standing up to walk away. Alfie chuckles.

“No one!” he exclaimed, slamming his hand on the table. “This no one cost me a man. A poor lad who decided to follow your Y/N’s orders for what? A few pounds and a fucking—a fucking night with you. Is that it, Tom? No one. Fucking no one and I’m letting my men run around after your fucking whims!”

“A fucking night? My fucking whims?” Tommy spits. 

“What? Is it not true?” he asked, “You’re fucking…obsessed, mate. That’s what you are! She is married. The more you act the more she gets…fucking hurt. You think that’s alright?”

“He’s using her!” Tommy shouts over. “He’s hurting her no matter what I do or not do. Did you fucking know that? You’re not doing anything!” he asked, eyes teary. 

“Then, don’t fucking do anything! It wouldn’t matter anyway; you said it yourself. As damned as I am, Tommy, don’t fucking do anything,” 

Tommy shoves Alfie, shaking his head. No fucking difference? 

“What the fuck? Tommy!” Alfie shouts. “What’s the matter? You’re fucking angry, eh?”

“Yes, I’m fucking angry!” he says, pointing a gun to Alfie. 

“Oh, you’re going to kill me?” he taunts. “You’re going to fucking kill me when your anger is un-fucking-justified! So, what, Simon has your woman, eh? He has her? You’re angry at me but fucking hell, Tommy! How many men do I have to sacrifice for this little fucking protection project you got going on? How many fathers will you fucking kill? You think you’re better than Simon Coventry? You’re going straight to fucking hell, Tommy! Straight to fucking hell! Just like me and Simon! You come to me to get closer to Simon Coventry and…you stand there, talking about not doing anything when it’s my men that have to go through the other end of the barrel. Kill me and pull that trigger for some fucking honorable reason. Like an honorable man and not like—not like some fucking civilian that does not understand the wicked way of our world, mate,” he spits. Tommy stares at him blankly. 

“Look, mate—Tommy. I will fucking help you but you have to be fucking patient. The races at Sabini’s tracks are happening soon. You just have to be patient.”

Tommy shoves Alfie away from him. He wouldn’t understand—he’d never understand. Time was ticking and if he didn’t move now, he’ll get killed.

-

“I think it would be much better to wear the green,” Simon says, looking at the dress that you have on for the races. “Wear it,”

“Oh, but it would be such a waste,” you told him, twirling to show him the way the fabric draped beautifully on you. “Don’t you think so? Besides, it’s going to be so hot at the races today. I don’t want to sweat,”

Simon pinches his nose.

“I suppose so,” he agrees, striding over you and laying his hand on your waist. “You do look ravishing, darling. I already can’t wait to take you home, hm?”

“We have to make sure our horse wins first,” you tell him, laying your head on his chest while you let his eyes rake over your body. “Simon, can-can you kiss me?” 

“Why so sudden?” he asked, turning you around. “Is everything alright, darling?”

“Of course,” you smiled at him, studying his face. This was the Simon tha you loved; the kind Simon that you rarely see these days. “I just want you to kiss me, my love. Can’t you kiss your darling wife?” He smiles a small smile, taking your chin with his gentle fingers and kissing you. 

“I love you, Y/N,”

“I love you too, Simon.” you told him, pecking his lips once more before a knock breaks you away. 

“Looks like we’re ready to go,” he tells you. 

“Of course, you can go ahead. Let me just fix my hair and we can go,” you replied, turning away from him. He was so warm…so, so, so, warm. Simon leaves you with a kiss on your forehead. You’ve been good lately, no Tommy Shelby…no requests…no anything. You could tell that he loves it; that you were obedient but if you didn’t want a repeat of what happened, you had to play your cards right. You fix your hair one last time and double-check the contents of your purse. It felt heavy, it felt right. 

You had to get this right; you were living on borrowed time after all. 

Your car stops at one of Darby Sabini’s tracks in London. Simon requested privacy and privacy he’ll get. No one knows that the Coventry’s are present in the race except for Alfie, Sabini, and the men who ushered you to the private room. No word was supposed to be out that you were both here. Simon forbade it. You let Simon walk in front of you with his hand clasped around yours. The room you were in had whisky, rum, and other items that you knew were not for the general public. When you arrived, a man with a hat was waiting.

“Darling, I’d like for you to meet Alfie Solomons,” Simon tells you, removing his hand from yours to shake Alfie Solomons’ hand. “He’s been the one supplying us with security. Sabini will get here in a while, but I think that it’s better for you to meet Mr. Solomons first.” 

“Good…day, Mrs. Coventry,” Alfie greets, a polite bow sent to your way. 

“Good day, Mr. Solomons. I’ve heard so much about you from my husband,” you offered, smiling at him. 

“Good things, I hope?” he asked. “Well, it doesn’t matter anyway. Mr. Coventry, Darby Sabini’s been looking for you. Something about your dealings. I don’t really keep track, you know?”

“Of course,” Simon nods. He kisses your head. “Will it be alright to leave you with Mr. Solomons for the meantime, my love?”

“Sure, darling,” you said, your hand tightening on the beaded purse in your hand. He smiles at you before leaving, looking for Darby Sabini. You watched the door close and you were about to sit down when Alfie Solomons spoke.

“You know, love,” Alfie starts, walking to you closer. He stops right beside your ear. “If you wanted to hide that gun better, you’d have to loosen your grip on your purse. I can see the outline of the barrel from where I was standing.” he says before leaving you in the room. “Darby Sabini’s not here but he is somewhere by the racetracks,” he hints.

“What do you want?” you asked, following him. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Let’s just say I’m a friend of Tommy Shelby,” he nods to himself. Your blood runs cold, and your face turns pale. “Go,” he urges. “Do whatever you want,”

You exited the special room with haste. Blood was ringing in your ears and you couldn’t breathe properly. You were stumbling with adrenaline, with hope, with…every single emotion that you never thought you could feel and comprehend. Nobody else was in the corridors leading to the room marked with an unassuming planter box beside it. You cautiously entered and Simon turned around immediately. His face tenses with alarm when he sees you. 

“Darling, what are you doing here? You should go back with Mr. Solomons before Darby Sabini sees you. I told our men to all leave so he and I could have some privacy,” he warns, eyes darting everywhere.

“He’s not…he’s not here,” you tell him, unloading the gun from your purse with shaky hands. 

“What—what is this about?” Simon asks, looking pointedly at the gun that Tommy gave you long ago. You weren’t even sure if it was still working. You point the gun at him, straight to his face. “You’re going to kill me? Is that it?” he asked, anger taking over his features. “You’re going to kill me when I’ve given you everything! I gave you your fucking life, Y/N. Put that gun down and-and we’ll pretend like this never happened,”

“No! You—you took everything away from me, Simon. You took my family away. You took Johnny away from me and you still—you still expect me to love you? You took me away and weaponized my freedom. You think—you think that I can still love you? I wake up every day counting to ten if you’d hit me. If you’d shove me down and slap me and kick me. This isn’t love, Simon! This is prison,” you enraged, your gun shaking. “You told me that…you told me that the only way out is if I kill you,” you heaved. 

“Y/N…you’re being callous right now, love. You’re not you…you’re angry,” he tries, walking towards you but you just shook your head. “You’re being stupid!”

“Stop! Simon, stop!” you shouted, the volume of your voice raisins. “I can never be smart for you. I’ll always be a property in your eyes and I—and I’ll never ever be your equal,” you sobbed. “This is something that I need to do. You broke me,” you cried, tears falling in your eyes. “You broke me, and you still expect me to love you,”

“I love you, Y/N,” he sobs. “I love you—“

The coiled spring that wrung your heart explodes.

A manicured hand pulls the trigger, and your husband falls to the ground along with the gun that you held. Your hands shake and you fall on the floor, wailing. Now that the job was done, who else would you have? You crawled towards him, your dress was getting dirty, but you didn’t care. Who thought you’d finally use the gun that Tommy bought you for protection? 

You lay your head down on his chest, there was no heartbeat. He was dead, Simon was dead. The trembling of your hands, hold what you could. The blood trails down your arm and you just lay there. He was dead. Simon was dead, you killed him. You killed Simon. You killed the man who loves you. 

“There’s no use crying over spilled milk,” a gruff voice that belonged to Alfie Solomons says behind you. “You’re more capable than what Tommy painted you out to be,”

“Where is he?” you asked. It was odd, you thought you’d be crying by now. “Where’s Tommy?”

“Sabini’s men took him,” Alfie shrugged. “Simon ordered Sabini to kill Tommy today. You did well,”

“I killed my husband,” you told him. The waver in your voice couldn’t be pinpointed to one single emotion. “I just…I just killed my husband,”

“I see that,” he replied. “This wasn’t Tommy’s plan really. He was supposed to kill Simon and I was supposed to guard you while this all happens but…I guess Simon was quite intelligent too,” he says, pushing Simon’s limp arm with his cane. “You’re a good shot,”

“Mr. Solomons, I’ll buy your silence for five thousand pounds. I’ll let your men take care of this scene for ten thousand more. Make sure that none of this is blamed on me or on Tommy,” you negotiated, pulling yourself away from your husband. You were still trembling and Alfie could see how hard you tried to supress yourself from revealing too much.

“You just landed yourself millions. I don’t think a few thousand more will be burdensome on your pockets?” he asked, looming over you. He extends his hand for you to take, and you do, hauling yourself to meet him at eye level. You swallowed. 

“Blame this all on Darby Sabini,” you told him. You stand up straighter, looking him in the eye. “And I’ll make sure that the cash is ready for you after the funeral. I’m sure you’d want very powerful friends on the inside?”

Alfie nods, a smirk forming on his face. Looks like you never needed Tommy in the first place. 

The police found you wailing on the scene of the crime, the weapon nowhere to be found. Alfie Solomons testified that you were with him the whole time when one of his men ran to tell you that Sabini’s men shot him in the head. He had someone testify on it too.The funeral was private and quick, you decided to bury him with his parents in the mausoleum with ‘COVENTRY’ written in gold. Simon bequeathed every property to your name in his will. You were free; you were finally, finally, free. 

-

BIRMINGHAM, 1922

After selling your mansion in London, you moved back to Birmingham. You bought a house that was big enough to have guests over but still not as massive as your mansion in London. You haven’t talked to Shelby’s in a year, even though they did lend a hand with what happened to Simon. Apparently, it was Polly who arranged a meeting between some Lizzie Stark and Sabini. Tommy and Alfie connived to kill Simon, but Sabini’s men took Tommy away to some far away place before anything could happen. You couldn’t face them yet, not with the freshness of your wound…not with the guilt that clawed its way deep into you. 

You’ve been with Simon for such a long time that you almost forgot what it was like to be yourself. 

You looked at the garden outside your window, feeling nostalgic because this was the same garden where Tommy used to take you all those years ago. You were only kids back then…how time flies. Does he know thatnyou moved back to Birmingham? Is he giving you space?

You watched the rain fall from the French windows, appreciating the breeze and the calm that the pitter patter gave you. You looked on, a single figure walking towards your house and you smiled. For the first time since your life started, you were finally free. 

-

A/N: It’s done! It’s finally done…actually, it isn’t. I will be uploading an epilogue sometime soon and then, I will be doing a Q&A afterwards which by the way, I’m already accepting question submissions! I will be posting all of the questions in one post and I hope you guys send in some questions about the story. I want to thank every one of you for loving the story of Y/N and Tommy and it has been such a ride. I can’t write anything about a final author’s not yet…I still don’t know how to feel to finally be able to finish this story…but maybe soon? Thank you so much for waiting and thank you so much for the overwhelming love and support! As always, don’t forget to like, reblog, comment, or maybe all… to show your appreciation! Thank you so much.

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