#ex proshipper

[layla-girlfriend]

IMPORTANT

im sorry, but im no longer a proshipper/comshipper

Ive whanted to quit proshipping for a while now, ive been forcing myself to make theese types of content

It was very hard for me, to leave my "safespace" ive had for over a year

Proshipping is harmfull

[gaystims]

Sometimes we (as an ex proshipper) do go through phases where we have the urge to return to that time in our life.

So here is your reminder to everyone that you are brave, you don't need to go back. It will get easier. You do not need to use that as a coping method, you don't need to rely on those people.

I believe in you, breathe, relax, take some time offline if you need to and stay safe.

(Unless you're trying to recover from being proship- Please DNI with this post if you are proship)

[anqelstears]

my apology. (from an ex-proshipper)

i encourage both sides to read this, but make sure you read the content warning segment.

CW // sexualization of the following : grooming, abuse, sexual assault, incest, “lolisho”

i will never post this on my main. i have drowned myself in lies and the guilt of it all will never let me rest.  this is an apology for whoever wants to read and a cautionary tale for the ones who are, unfortunately, going down the same path i regrettably chose for myself. if it brings peace to anyone or if it prevents something truly terrible, i will feel accomplished. my asks will be open if you want to let out your frustrations on how stupid i once was. i am encouraging you to, since i’m too much of a coward to suffer any kind of major consequence, feel free to tell me all of the nasty things you may feel once you’re finished reading this, and to whoever finds nothing wrong with what i have done, please revaluate your stances.

i used to be a proshipper, if the title hadn’t made it obvious enough, and i regret every second of it. i’m not even sure where it even began, everything feels like a blur. the more i try to remember, the foggier it gets. my therapist doesn’t quite understand the discourse, which, of course she doesn’t, but she has told me i have developed an anxiety disorder and according to my version of events (what i remember, at least), she’s convinced i have been taken advantage of by these people who i called my friends.

and i believe her. i hate admitting this. for once, i will put my pride aside and say that i’m gullible. i’m an idiot. i believe her when she tells me they’ve taken advantage of me and i believe her when she said that they radicalized my views and that i would do anything to feel like i belonged in a space. i’m desperate to feel anything else but alienation. all my life, i have longed for this feeling and they knew, taking advantage of my past trauma that i, regrettably, told them about. i was one of those people that used fiction as a coping mechanism to deal with my childhood trauma. i can’t stress enough how dangerous it is for you to make yourself vulnerable like this on the internet, and the worst part of it all, i should have known better. i was 18 years old when this happened.

i have done terrible, terrible things. i forced myself to be okay with lolisho, to be okay with abuse, incest, sexual assault. all because “it was all fiction”, and “no one was getting hurt”, but deep down, it was hurting me and so many others. i engaged in conversations with these people. i was told that my trauma was hot and they wished to be groomed, to be sexually assaulted, and all i could do was nothing because i knew what the consequences were. i would be shunned and would be alone again. these people loved me, they told me so, often.

i drew for them, i wrote for them, i wanted them to love me more. i felt like i was on top of the world, so many people enjoyed my company. i had friends. i was blinded by these rose colored glasses.

they loved me so much, until i started realizing how terrible they were. i saw how other people felt about them, how invalidated other victims felt. i felt terrible, knowing that i had contributed to it. i distanced myself from them and once they realized i did this, i was suddenly a target. i was harassed nonstop for hours, days, even. they love to preach about being anti-harassment until you’re no longer okay with the stuff they enjoy. suddenly, you’re a nasty anti or an anti dickrider. 

they didn’t love me anymore, and leaving was one of the most liberating feelings i have ever felt. i should have known better, but i unfortunately was in too deep. this wasn’t an attempt to excuse my actions, this was my story, my side of things, what i remember. 

i’m sorry if you’ve ever seen my posts on my old accounts, and i’m sorry if i made you relapse, i’m sorry for making you feel like i was glamourizing your trauma, i’m sorry for everything i have done. i denounce proshippers, i denounce this era of my life, i wish i could erase it, but i can’t. i will live the rest of my days with this and i hope that nobody goes through the same things i did. my actions are disgusting and i will never do this again. 

you are not cool, you are not better than anyone. and if you’re a child, please run. run as fast as you can from them, you’re bound to be taken advantage of like i have. they’re all sick in the head. 

this post sums up very well how proshipping may affect real people, please give it a read.

once again, i apologize for all the horrible things i might have caused.

thank you for giving me a chance. like i said, my ask box is open if you want to voice frustrations, ask questions, and essentially, whatever you want.

love, angel.

[crewtawn]

Did your description say you posted loli and shota and whatever at some point? Am I stupid? Please tell me that’s been dropped

God, a long time ago. It's totally been dropped. At that point I had been groomed into thinking it was normal. (Thanks Eddsworld Amino and Black Butler fandom very cool and based. /sarcasm)

When I hit 16 I found out that it wasn't a normal thing. Obviously changed my description. Does it still say it somewhere? I'll actually rip my lungs out and roll over dead if it does. I think anyone under the age of 18 is gross annoying nowadays anyway. Never having kids, those things infuriate me.

Sorry if this freaked anyone out! I am NOT proship, lolisho, or any of that crap. Blech.

[mikurulucky]

The best advice I'd give is to forgive yourself. People may still try to harass you for having been a proshipper in the past, but we're human. We're always growing as a person. Our ideas and beliefs might change.

Just because we stop developing past a certain age does not mean we stop learning and changing.

^^^^

[randomprosho]

gonna be honest, when an ex proshipper says they were groomed into being a proshipper, idk if they mean actual grooming or if they just didn't set their own boundaries and it caused them pain because they didn't know how to curate their own online experience or how to keep themselves safe.

Like, antis believe that grooming is just them seeing icky art in the wild... I don't want to be questioning these things 😫

[antipratfaves]

Hi is it alright if I make two requests?

The first is Double Trouble from She-da and the Princessses of Power who is an ex-radqueer, ex-proshipper, anti-prat, Devqueer (link—> here) and a chronosian who reclaims the term “Transage”. 

The second is Alador Blight from the Owl House who is a chronosian, Catqueer (link—> here) with atypical dysphoria who hates PRATS and proshippers!

Double Trouble from She-Ra and the Princesses of Power is an ex-radqueer, ex-proshipper, anti-PRAT, devqueer, and reclaims the term transage!

Alador Blight from the Owl House is a chronosian catqueer with atypical dysphoria who hates PRATs and proshippers

sometimes Billy puts images of the flags both with and without characters when it feels its too obscured by the charactrr to make out all the flags.

[lungofthefang]

When having discussions about certain words like p*dophile and abuse being thrown around haphazardly, these discussions should include the words nazi, fascist and cop. I can’t count how many times I’ve seen proshippers call someone those things during discourse and in every instance it was unnecessary. It’s especially not okay right now since those groups are on the rise and actively terrorizing people on a daily basis.

[ghostfoolish]

I know you said that you’re not taking asks about proshippers so feel free to ignore this if it’s bothersome but I’m trying to break away from the community but I don’t really know how to?? All my friends are in that community and I don’t want to lose them plus I don’t want to be an anti?? You mentioned that you were an ex-proshipper so do you have any advice for leaving that space??

It’s fine lol just as long as it isn’t hate. I also may not be the best at giving advice but I can try lol

1. You don’t have to be a proshipper OR an “anti”. Most people in the real world are neither and most people don’t even know what you mean when you say those words. Being neutral about the whole proshipping vs anti thing is the most reasonable place to be at. For instance I still have ships that I guess can be deemed as “problematic” (Loustat from IWTV), I still watch and enjoy movies that can be deemed as controversial, I don’t harass people over ships or anything and yet I’m not a proshipper. It is possible I promise.

2. About your friends…If they really are your friends they’d respect your decision to not be part of the community anymore and respect whatever boundaries you’d have about it. If they’re willing to drop you just because you aren’t a proshipper then they aren’t good friends. I met one of my besties, (who’s also an ex proshipper now) in the proshipping community so it is possible to still be friends with someone after the fact but don’t let anyone make you feel bad for leaving.

3. The way I broke away from it was simply unfollowing blogs and blocking out tags related to proshipping and the community. I didn’t even make an announcement or anything I just kinda…did it. I also changed my username/blog around a bit and the only people I told about leaving were my friends and mutuals. I followed new blogs relating to my hobbies and interests and made a space that was more comforting.

4. If you do get hate over a ship or a piece of fiction that you’re into…blocking and ignoring is the key. I used to get hate anons for being into The Boys show and all I did was delete those messages and went about my day. Some people are just overdramatic and silly and ignoring them is the way to go.

I hope these were helpful and I hope that you’re able to go through with it without any drama or hostility ♥️

[wildfeather5002]

A couple questions to ex proshippers: What made you leave the proship community? How does proshippers' beliefs & actions affect them? /gen

[layla-girlfriend]

Thank you so much for sending this ask. Even though I'm often bad at explaining things, I'd still be glad to help. At the very least I can say that acknowledging that portraying adult/minor romantic/sexual relationships, incest, and rape in a good or sexualized light is wrong and why that is. Those are things real people go through and it's a different matter than violent video games as, in my impression, they affect different parts of your mind.

Took me some time to realize that. Issues like that were why Twilight and Fifty Shades of Grey were criticized for so long after all, as those books gave completely wrong ideas of how relationships worked which often lead to young people getting into toxic relationships. Real people have the "I can fix him" mindset that's so common in romance fiction, so it's not too farfetched the same thing applies to proship content.

I feel lucky my old proship mindset didn't bleed over to real life contexts, but it sure as hell wasn't good for my mental health in the long run. Hell, I felt like such a kid living with my mom I saw myself as the loli in adult/minor ship situations for a while and I'm thankful I grew out of that.

And just think, average people would be outraged and disgusted if anyone admits to finding a child character or an incestuous ship attractive, or anything similarly problematic, and you don't want to have that secret burdening you. It's one thing to watch Game of Thrones for the drama, but outright glorifying incest by portraying it as sexy and cute is a whole other story. This is why many victims advocate for stories about subjects like csa, incest, and rape to be handled in a more respectful and realistic light and not be glorified or treated as plot devices that can be thrown away.

I also looked it up and loli first became a thing when women started becoming more independent in Japan. It was based on a fantasy men over there had involving subjugating young girls, which makes lolicon's origins pretty misogynistic on top of the more obvious issues.

Sorry if this seems more like a ramble, but I hope this helps. I've been down this path before, and with a little work, self reflection, and friends that can help steer you in the right direction, you can break out of proship beliefs.

To any ex proshipper out there

[ballzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz]

shaking and crying

i love the coffin of and and leyley

BUT WTF IS WITH THE FANDOM

[anqelstears]

I want you to know that it's not your fault that you got involved with proshipping. Proshippers are not inheriently evil and a lot are misguided or groomed/manipulated into it like you. I hope you're recovering. I am a CSA survior and once used proship content to "cope" it only made me worse. I now too have healthy coping mechanisms. What matters is you've moved past it and you are doing better for yourself and not creating content that can be weaponized by others who are bad intentioned.

thank you. this means a lot to me, really. i'm glad you have found better coping mechainsms, and yes, i am recovering <3 i agree when you say that some proshippers are manipulated into it, it's the sad reality. i hope they grow out of it before they get hurt, i don't want anyone else to go through what i have.

again, thank you for the kind words, it's nice hearing this when most of my inbox is proshippers raving about how i'm wrong.

[capitainecorbeau]

Behold, Ben 10 fandom ! My low effort doodles. Who doesn't love a children's show with disturbing implications ?

[mikurulucky]

I found you thanks to your experiences as an ex proshipper and I'd like to say, thank you. Thank you for showing us we are not alone and that it's a good thing to inform and possibly prevent others from falling into the same harmful beliefs. — Sincerely, someone who had traumatic experiences with proshipping

I really appreciate this. Glad you were able to relate, anon. ^_^

[discoursegirl]

As an ex anti, those spaces were toxic, so much drama about who said what in a ao3 comment, whether or not whoever random person is a proshipper. Just, so much hate to everyone who is remotely different from you. I remember my freind saying proshippers or people who liked a certain ship should die. I'm so glad I've switched to being a proshipper, people here are just so much more supportive and decent to others.