#except jen since she's the love of my life

[hero-in-high-tops]

I finally got my hands on the marvel multiverse rulebook and I couldn't find a scan of this by Juan Fernandez but I love it so I'm posting it

[604to647]

Safest with You - Ch. 3 (The Drycleaner)

3.2K / Modern AU Retired Mob Enforcer!Din Djarin x fem!reader

Summary: You listen to a sign from the universe and it leads you to Din.

Warnings: Some pining and then more fluff 💕 although Reader is a bit of menace as she straight up ogles Din like a piece of meat 😂, brief mention of female masturbation, reader is described as shorter than Din, first use of pet name “Pretty Bird”.

A/N: The series is slow but sometimes falling in love be like that. I pinned a series masterlist, so you can always jump to the smutty one shots that happen later in the timeline when these two are in an established relationship if you need a fix. The fact that Din boxes is 100% attributed to @djarinsbeskar's Boxer!Din AU which was the very first Din fic AU I ever read on Tumblr and remains one of my favourites and one I revisit often; making Din a former boxer/owner of a boxing gym is my small but humble homage to Rachel's genius. Also from that same AU is this piece of art from one of my favourite artists, @kate-komics that I think about often also. Thank you both for the inspiration!

“He bought you books?!?”

“Well, technically, he bought us all books.”

The whole table laughs; your friends were delighted when you handed out the books, but they’re entralled at the background story that comes with.

“And he didn’t leave you his number or anything?”

“No! Told the cashier he didn’t want to want me to feel ‘obligated’.”

“It’s okay, babe.  We’ll find him,” nods Katie, whipping out her phone. 

Bea starts typing on her phone as well, “Right.  He said his name is Din?  How do you spell that?”

“I don’t know.”

“Is it short for something?”

“I don’t know.”

“How old is he?”

“I don’t know.  40s?  He’s greying,” you picture Din’s soft curls and bury your face in your hands, “it looks so fucking good on him.” 

“Where does he work?”

“I don’t know.  Not downtown.”

“Well, what does he do?”

“I don’t know.”

“Babe. What do you know?”

“I know his coffee order is Ice Quad Expresso in a Venti cup with extra ice and six shots.”

“Ok, so we know he probably has a heart condition.”

Everyone bursts out laughing.  Your friends have good reason to be so enthusiastic – it’s been ages since someone has caught your eye.  You don’t date a lot, and that’s always been your preference.  You have a picky temperament to begin with, but the truth is, you’re happy and at peace with the way your life is now after years of hard work.  There simply hasn’t been room or a need for a partner, and your friends don’t push you to date (except Jen who always reminds you that there’s a guy at her firm she wants to set you up with, but even that’s more in good fun than anything).  But right now, you look flushed and besotted over this stranger; positively smitten.  They love it for you.

After a few minutes, no one has found anything on social media, any dating apps or Google – admittedly, there wasn’t much (anything?) to go on, but you’ve seen these girls work internet detective miracles before.

Oh well. 

You sigh, “I need to get drunk and forget him.  Or painfully obsess over every detail I can remember.”

And you all cheers to that.

---

Huh.

A week later on the Saturday, you’re out running errands, and you find yourself standing in front of your drycleaner which has unexpectedly closed.  A handwritten sign in the window reads: “Emergency Closure.  Reopening to be announced.”

The drycleaner’s is supposed to be your first stop of the day and you don’t really feel like carting your dirty clothes with you to run the rest of your errands.  Moreover, you’ll need a few of the items in the coming weeks.  You take out your phone to look up other drycleaners in the area when something in your mind clicks: Peli’s Drycleaning on 14th.  You search it and see it actually exists, and has a pretty good rating to boot.  But, it’s sort of out of your way, not really in the same area you’re in at all.

You shouldn’t go.

Should you go?

And what if you do?  Do you… ask about Din?  That’s weird. 

But you’ve been thinking about him non-stop all week: daydreaming about his soft smile during your work commute, remembering the flex of his strong hand covering yours as you answer emails, getting lost in thoughts of his big brown eyes while out walking the dog.  You flush at the memory of touching yourself in bed while recalling his deep and rich voice.  Every attempt to forget your handsome Quad Ice over the past week has utterly failed.

Eff it. What are the chances that you unexpectedly need a new drycleaner, and it happens to be the only thing tangentially related to Din that you know? Maybe the universe is trying to help you out.

Before you can characteristically overthink it, you flag down a cab and give the driver the address you looked up; your heart pounds the entire ride over.

When you step into drycleaner’s, a little bell above the door jingles to signal your arrival, and a short woman with a huge amount of curly dark hair appears from the back.  You think she might be Peli, but you can’t be sure; she gives you a huge smile and gestures to take in your clothes.  Finding her to be super friendly and chatty, the two of you make easy small talk as she neatly lists out your items by hand on her notepad.  When she gets to the coffee stained skirt, she lets out a low whistle, “Oof.  Been there, done that!” she quips.  You decide this is probably the best opening you’ll get, “Actually, that coffee stain is probably why I’m here.  Someone saw it and recommended your place.”  Peli raises her eyebrow as you press on, “His name is Din, he said he’s a friend of the owner?”

This gets her attention; the woman stops what she’s doing and studies you with great interest.  Her face breaks out into an impossibly wide smile and she exclaims loudly, “Din sent you, eh?  And he said we were friends?”  she lets out a deep belly laugh, “Babysat him when he was a kid, but yep we’re friends. Ha!  Hi, I’m Peli!”  She shakes your hand as you introduce yourself. “He said to mention his name and you would try harder not to lose my clothes,” you joke. 

“That scamp!” chortles Peli, “Don’t worry!  We’ll take good care of you!  You know… because of Din.” She rolls her eyes good naturedly.

“Of course.  Because of Din,” you grin back, “So…does he send a lot of… people who need drycleaning, your way?”

“Nope!  You’re the first!  And honestly, now that I think about it, why hasn’t he been sending me more business?”

You figure it’s now or never, “Do you know where I could find him?”

If possible, Peli brightens even more at your question, “Oh yeah, for sure!  At this time of day, he’ll be at his gym.  It’s about 2 blocks that way,” she points in the direction for you, “can’t miss it!  Big sign that says ‘Mando’s Gym’.”

Peli finishes taking down your information for the clothes and lets you know when everything can be ready.  You give her an enthusiastic thanks; when opening the door to leave, you have a moment of hesitation, but looking back, you find Peli already pointing in the direction of the gym.  You give her a smiling nod and head that way.

---

Peli was right.  You can’t miss the sign; it sits atop of a standalone three story building that’s set further back on its lot.  The front area of the lot looks like it might have once been a driveway of sorts, but is now used as a parking lot; a handful of parked cars lets you know the gym is fairly busy today.  The front of the building has giant windows that look like garage doors and makes you think that the building might have once been a mechanic repair shop; from the little of what you can see inside, you think the gym occupies the first floor of the building and possibly the second.  The big set of garage door windows are separated in the middle by an entry way that you walk through, slightly nervous.  Once inside, you see a reception but currently no one behind the small desk; instead, you peek around the partition wall behind the desk and see that the space opens up to a clean, spacious room that has about 8-10 people working out on various machines and punching bags lining the walls, all leading to a larger group of people clustering near the boxing ring centered at the back of the room.

You’re making your way towards the back, scanning over the group looking for Din when you spot him, right in the middle of the ring.  He’s got his gloved hands up, blocking part of his head, but you can still tell it’s him; when you hear him shouting encouraging words to his sparring partner, his familiar voice sends a shiver up your spine.  He’s wearing a sweat drenched grey t-shirt and his hair is messy and wet from his work out, but he looks even better than you remember.

Actually, he looks fucking delicious.  From this angle you can see the cut of his jawline and how it tightens as his grunts and pants.  His arms are flexed from his forearms up to his biceps, and are so muscular they’re straining hard against his shirt sleeves.  You must be straight up ogling him because you don’t even realize when Din notices you; you’re too busy looking at his legs and admiring how his thighs fill out his navy blue shorts so snugly.  You only look up when those same legs start walking in your direction and come to a stop at the edge of the ring.  Din is leaning towards you against the rope with a heart-stopping smile, “It’s you.”

“Yes, it’s me,” you grin, repeating back his words to you from the bookstore.

Din thinks he must be dreaming, or maybe he’s been knocked in the head one too many times today.  He had just paused the fight to show Jimmy the new combination again, when he looked over to see the prettiest sight.  You, standing in his gym, soft and dainty, with a wide eye expression on your face.  You’re looking in his direction, but when you don’t make eye contact with him immediately, Din allows himself the smug thought that you might be liking what you see and puffs his chest out a little before making his way over to you.

Now you’re looking at him with that same pretty smile that he hasn’t been able to get out of his head for the last week, and he can’t wait to talk to you again, “Are you okay to wait for 5 minutes?  We’re just finishing up this training session.”

You nod agreeably, “Sure, I can wait.”  There’s a bench running along the right side of the ring where you take a seat to better enjoy the show.  You’ve never seen boxing up close before, so you don’t know what to expect, but you find yourself mesmerized by everything Din is doing in the ring.  All his movements are intentional and graceful; he’s in total control of every motion he makes: ducking, blocking, punching.  His muscles are all flexed and his shirt stretches tight, barely containing them as if Din himself is an extension of the explosive power harnessed in his fists.  The legs that you were drooling over earlier are quick and agile; it’s true you don’t know his age but his sparring partner looks to be in his mid-20s and Din is having no problem out maneuvering him.

As he circles the other fighter, you think you spy some ink on a flash of some exposed skin and the idea of exploring what’s underneath Din’s shirt has you swallowing hard.  In short, you can’t take your eyes off of him. 

The 5 minutes is action packed and over before you know it.  In one continuous smooth motion, Din ducks under the rope, jumps down and grabs a fresh towel from a stack on the other end of the bench you’re sitting on before sliding over to sit next to you.  He looks at you almost bashfully as he towels off his hair and wipes the sweat from his brow and neck.  You think you could get used to seeing him like this: cheeks pink from exercise, bright eyes glued to yours and a grin so wide it reveals a deep dimple in his right cheek that you’re discovering for the first time.  He’s taking your breath away and you haven’t even been back in his presence for more than 10 minutes.

“What brings you to this part of town today, pretty bird?”

If anyone else had bestowed a pet name on you so soon after having met, you would have immediately gotten the ick, but the endearment rolling off Din’s tongue sounds so natural and sweet, it has you melting, “Some handsome guy bought me a thick stack of books and then made it nearly impossible for me to thank him.  Tracked him down to this gym.”

“Handsome guy, eh?”

“Yep.  Real handsome.  And sweet.  You know anyone around here like that?” you tease.

Handsome.  You think he’s handsome. Din thinks his heart is in danger of no longer fitting in his chest.  He holds his hand up to his brow, as if to shield his eyes from the light, and mines looking around gym in an exaggerated manner, “Nope.  Just a bunch of smelly, sweaty ruffians.  Owner’s a handsome guy though, maybe you’re looking for him,” he says, eyes twinkling.

“You own this gym?”

“Sure do.  Used to be my dad’s.”

“Well, he would be proud of you and what you’ve done here, Din.  It looks great.”  You mean it, and you look around the gym with a renewed sense of awe now that you know Din is the one responsible for its operations.

Din’s not sure how you knew the exact thing to say to make his heart swell, but he knows without a doubt that you’re being genuine and he is reminded again of your kind nature. 

You look back to see Din looking at you with a soft expression and before you let yourself get lost in his eyes, you force yourself to pull it together, “Oh Din!  I can’t believe I didn’t say this right away: Thank you!! Thank you for the books.  It was so incredibly unexpected and sweet!  My friends also say thank you – a few of the books you bought were for them.”

“You’re very welcome.  Have you enjoyed the books?”

You’re warmed by how thoughtful Din is, and you let him know the books are turning out to be great and you and your friends can’t believe how long you’ll have to wait for the next instalment to come out.

“Do you have plans to read tonight, or would you happen to be free?”

Even though you had been hoping that Din would ask you out, your heart leaps into your throat now that it’s happening.  “I think I should be!  If I finish up this list of errands I’m supposed to get to today, that is.  Giving Peli my drycleaning was only the first item,” you lament. 

“Peli!  Is that how you found me?  Clever girl.”

You beam at Din’s praise.  You realize you haven’t explained how you knew where he was, “As luck would have it, my regular drycleaner was unexpectedly closed.  Nearly derailed my whole errand day until I remembered you mentioning you had a friend who ran a drycleaning business.  Something else I need to thank you for.”

“I’m glad I could help.  Well, if you have a bunch of errands you have to finish before you can go out with me tonight, I’m going to scoot you out of here right now so you don’t cancel. Scoot!”  Din adds a silly shooing motion with his hands as he says this, so you know he’s not seriously trying to get rid of you.  You giggle, but nod, eager to get on with your tasks so that your date with Din might come sooner.

Din asks you if you need a ride, but you tell him you’ll be fine and jokingly scoff, “Hey!  I don’t want you putting off your work and then backing out either, mister.”

“Not a chance,” grins Din.

As you walk together towards the front of the gym, Din lets you know how much he’s been thinking about you,  “I’m really glad you came to here today.  I was about to camp out everyday at the coffeeshop in the morning and then that bookstore in the afternoon until I found you again.”

“Who would have looked after the gym if you did that?”

Din looks around at the gym; some of the boxers and staff that had been watching the two of you look away quickly and pretend to busy themselves to avoid being caught staring.  “Shoot.  This place probably would have burned down.  Looks like you just saved the gym.”

You can’t help but giggle again and Din feels a growing sense of pride in being able to make you laugh.  “How about tonight I take you out to dinner as a thank you?”

Giving him an incredulous look, you answer, “I should be taking you out to dinner to thank you.”

“I don’t think so, pretty bird.”

The pet name shoots straight to your core again. 

Din stretches himself up to his full height and looks down at you with mock stern expression, cocking his eyebrow.

You can’t say you’re at all intimidated even though he towers over you; you’ve long since felt that Din’s company spelled safety.  But to play along, you counter by looking up at him with your biggest pleading eyes.  Din is instantly disarmed and knows in this moment that he will never be able to refuse you anything.

He suggests a compromise, “How about we go for dinner and fight about the check there?”

“Ok.  But just so you know, I’m not used to losing,” you challenge playfully.

“Me neither.” Din tilts his head slightly to draw your attention to the wall you’re standing next to.  It’s the other side of the divider wall you rounded when you came in, and you see that it’s covered with awards, certificates, and articles lauding Din’s boxing accomplishments.

Amazed, you skim over the honours and achievements, “This is you?  Wow – you’re incredible Din!  …9 times weight division champion? Oh man, now I don’t know if I can take you.”

“I bet you could,” from the look on Din’s face, you’re sure that the double meaning is meant as a tease, but you can’t help squirming a little.

Blushing, you relent, “Ok, you can pay for dinner.  But I still have to thank you for the books.”

Din is finding your persistence on this point to be adorable, “Your ‘thanks’ is enough.  No need to feel like you owe me; it was a gift.”

“I know.  I just have an outrageous sense of reciprocity.  I really do want to find a way to thank you somehow.”  You reach up and put your hand on Din’s shoulder to hold yourself steady as you lift up onto your toes and kiss him on the cheek.  Despite having just gone who knows how many rounds in the ring, he smells incredible and you can’t help but linger your lips on his cheek.  You exhale softly and hold Din’s gaze as you slowly lower down to your normal height.

Din looks as affected as you feel, “Remind me to buy you some more books.”

Both of you laugh, now giddy about the prospect of seeing each other again in a few hours.  You exchange numbers and Din promises to text you later with the address of the restaurant he’ll meet you at tonight.

Heading down the street, heart aflutter and fingers trembling with excitement, you take out your phone and text the group chat: I found him.

[404-mind-not-found]

My current FNAF AUS

Dreams Before Souls: Basically how I think the plot of FNAF kicked off. It's from the Emily siblings' POVS with Jen feeling like her life is on one dull loop and Henry wanting to pull them both out of it using his creations. Henry falls in love with Hazel after meeting her at a party and has to deal with secrets coming out in his friend group, all while this new guy keeps popping around in his life. Meanwhile, Jen deals with her own stresses as the only female staff where she works as a medical assistant and has to fight for her dream life. It's on hold atm because I need to revamp all the outlining. Remnant AU (still nameless): Years after the Missing Children's Incident, many of those who lived or still live in Hurricane have come together to acknowledge the tragedies. But after that day, the power frequently goes out, it's colder than usual, and some people hear sad whispers when they're alone. Thinking something's after him, Henry flees, leaving everyone behind, right as Michael reappears after being gone since the Incident. Charlie and Elizabeth investigate the weird things happening in their town and discover the secrets while Clay (with the help of Jen, sometimes) runs his own investigation to figure out where Henry went and where Michael came from. Still in its early stages. Security Breach: The Burrows: Everyone that works for Fazbear Entertainment gets controlled by Glitchtrap except for a couple of lucky people, including Jeremy (who I've made Cassie's dad here). One day, he sneaks into their whole thingamajig and gets found out, which leads to Cassie and Gregory learning all this stuff to do some meddling of their own. At one point, they have to choose between freeing Vanessa or Jeremy and they end up choosing Vanessa, since she was one of the higher ups in the whole Glitchtrap system. Then they'd go on to free everyone else.

[someforzari]

Coloured Sky

Niki x black!gn!reader

Genre: fluff

A/N: My first work where the skin colour was specified, I hope its up to your standards.

Ep.1 | Ep.2

You started listening to kpop in 2019 but it was more of a casual liking in 1 or 2 groups, rather than the only thing you would listen to. So when the group 'Enhypen' came out you peaked a huge interest in them. You biased Niki for his cute persona and how he always found a way to lighten the mood.

In little time, you found yourself listening to them often and even buying an album now and then. When all of your friends started talking about going to a concert together, you suggested Enhypen's upcoming tour.

"_____, we're not made of money and plus that's in New York, only you have a place to stay there, what will the rest of us do?" Jen retorted looking at the price.

"She's right, _____" Another friend agreed.

Sighing, you knew you had to meet them at some point in your life and why not now since it was your gap year before starting college, but seeing how you had £50 to your name, you knew that wasnt happening anytime soon. You chose to go to New York anyway since you had already bought plane tickets to see your family there, texting your mum to tell her.

"Guys, I have to go pack my bags but I'll talk to you soon. Love you bye." You said leaving the café. A quick wave of goodbyes surging through your friend group.

Time skip: 11:34pm, Thursday 28th March

"Yes mum, I've packed everything. I know the trip is overseas, look, I'll be fine. I'm staying with aunt shay, I'll be alright." You explained to your mum, holding the phone between your ear and cheek. "The plane leaves at 4pm tomorrow. No, I'm getting a taxi. Look, I have to go I'll update you soon. Bye."

Putting your passports and luggage near the doorway and setting your alarm to 8am you crashed on your bed and slept soundly.

Time skip: 8:13am, Friday 29 March

Brushing your teeth slowly due to drowsiness and scrolling through instagram was a normal part of your morning, your eyes widening upon seeing a new post from Enhypens official account. It was a picture of Niki and Sunoo at the airport, nothing special except that the destination was New York. That left some excitement for your day, dreaming about running into him unexpectedly and becoming his friend. Of course, you knew your delusions were just that, delusions. But you were free to imagine, right?

Stepping into your room to double check that you had packed everything, you noticed that your nails looked terrible and decided to get them done later. A decision that would save you from embarrassment later on.

The nails you picked weren't too over the top, just french tips with a few charms. Looking at the time on your phone, you gasped. 2:09pm. You were going to be late for your flight. At your apartment, a taxi was already waiting for you as you had planned, pulling the luggage into the boot and sitting in the taxi, you sighed and hoped you'd make it in time for your flight as the airport was an hour and a half away, hopefully there wouldn't be much traffic.

Timeskip: 5:43pm, Saturday 30th March

"Yeah, I'll manage." You said as you left the house to go explore New York City.

Living in the UK, you never experienced anything close to New York, sure, London was just as busy, but the nightlife couldn't compete. Plus, you lived in Whitehall of all places. It was cold, and even though winter had finished, the sun still set by 7.

It was amazing. The street signs with vibrant colours and cute little pictures of cartoon characters and animals, the shops with the latest iconic trends and the souvenirs were so creative.

Looking around, you didn't notice the shouting and running around. It was New York, this was normal, right?

Wrong. You would've been able to look some more, if only someone didn't bump into you and both of you fell.

"Who the hell...?" You mumbled holding your ankle and looking at the person.

Niki Rishimura. He was the man who had bumped into you, making you fall and hurt yourself. The throbbing pain in your ankle was forgotten as you stared at him with your mouth wide open and eyes wide.

"I'm so sorry! Are you okay? Is your ankle hurt?" He asked frantically, clearly worried.

You couldn't even answer, you just sat there, staring at him. Once the state of shock took over, you were quick to reassure him that you were fine and asked him if he was hurt at all.

He offered to get you coffee as an apology. Being a modest person, you refused at first saying there was no need, secretly hoping he would take you anyway. Him being the absolute angel he is, he insisted to treat you to coffee and you agreed. He reached out for his phone and asked for your number, you blinked a few times in confusion but not wanting to pass up this opportunity, you typed in your digits as fast as your sore hands could.

"I'll text you later, I have to go now." Niki said smiling sweetly at you and picking up a call from his manager.

You couldn't believe it, you had just met Niki Rishimura and gotten his number! And, you were going to see him for coffee! The whole way back to your aunt's house, you smiled and some people even looked at you like you were insane, but they wouldn't understand. You couldn't wait.

@microwvdstrawb3rri3s

[inkbutterflyuniverse]

I'm still unsure about who's parents I like the least.

Honestly, it's between Lynne Bowen, Terri Porter and Cash Caswell

What Ricky's mom did: letting her boyfriend answering her phone, then showing up with him without asking her son when it's been only like two months since she left them, and knowing that her son didn't react well to the separation. She also left for Chicago, which is not close from Salt Lake City at all.

Then, there's Cash Caswell, EJ's dad. He called some people, pulled some strings, so that his son would be admitted to Duke, and then wasn't supportive of his son decision to take a break for a year and tried to send him to The Caswell Success Training School, located in St Louis, Missouri. Now EJ said in the song Speak Out "I call my dad, but never talk ; Can't ever say quite what I want ; No, it's never enough, never enough ; When the words just don't add up ; So I call my dad, and never talk". The lyrics reflect his relationship with his dad who is strained since he refused to follow his wishes.

And finally there's Terri Porter, Gina's mom. She left Salt Lake before the end of season 1 with her daughter. Then in season 2 she left her daughter behind because she wanted to stay. And she came back at the beginning of season 4. So if we do the maths, she left for less than one year. At the end of season 2, Gina waited for her for the opening night, buh she didn't show up and send her son to excuse her.

In season 4, she wanted Gina to be focus and said no boys. The mother is someone very ambitious who wants her daughter to go far in life. She's very happy that Gina got the movie. Then she meets Mack and her no boys policy is forgotten because he's a successful man, he's already famous.

To Ricky, she dismiss him because he's just an average boy trying to figure out his future, she doesn't care that he loves Gina. She's VERY happy to tell him that Gina got that movie, that she will go to New Zealand and insist that it's "with her co-star Mack". Yeah we know you like him and not Ricky. She's here to see HSM3, Miss Jen noticed that it was a big metaphor for Ricky and Gina's lives. But if the mom notices, she doesn't care. It's only after Ricky sang to Gina that he loves her that she's like "yeah maybe I can accept you".

A parent can not like their child's lover, but she didn't even tried to know him when Gina said that it was him that makes her happy. She was just rude without any reason. She liked EJ but she doesn't care to know Ricky...

None of them is at the same level, but they all hurted their child, they all weren't great parents and persons at some moments. They all hurt their child, intentionally or not.

Lynne is better than Cash and Terri, but do I like her because she was there to Ricky after his breakup? No. Because Mike was there all the time, he stayed, he tried for his son, even though he wasn't living well the divorce. Lynne just left, she didn't even tried to stay close to Ricky, she went to Chicago.

Terri wasn't physically there, but she still done things for Gina like their Valentine's tradition, and she sent her son when she couldn't come so that someone was there for Gina. But she still left for her job, and announced that to Gina a few days before leaving. It was the middle of the semester, Gina just got here, and she finally had friends and a project she was implicated into. She could have found a solution so that she would at least stay for the musical. She sent her son but Gina was still excepting her. The last time they saw each other was during the spring holidays, when Gina went to see her. But the mother wasn't able to come back just for one night.

And Cash at least let EJ go to college even of it wasn't what he wanted for his son. They don't really talk anymore, but he didn't forced him to go to his school.

Objectively talking, Cash is the worst, but do I really like him less than Gina's mom? 🤔

[boygurphone]

Honestly. I feel like Infodumping about my mtl oc and it's be a good opportunity too since, no one really knows about her besides me and my friends SOOOOOO infodump time :3

This is "Truck Baumgardner" (his actual name is confidential. No one knows what her name is except for Truck). Truck serves as the music video director and cinematographer of Dethklok, having been with them since almost the beginning. He uses he/she pronouns

(the first reference I did of them) (this is the outfit they actually wear) (I'll make a proper ref soon)

[more info below the cut]

I'm still a little stuck on his voice claim but I'm mostly leaning to either Debbie Harry or Jen from Downtown (Tammy Lang). As of now, Jen has been a place holder voice claim.

She's very much a stoner lol (her and pickles are best friends and likes to do drugs together. They like to get drunk and high)

Speaking of Pickles and Truck, these two loved going to concerts together, mostly punk shows (Trucks favorite genre is Punk btw). The two don't do it often now since Dethklok is one of the biggest bands but they love going to bars and drinking. They're very close.

As of Fertilityklok (Season 3 episode), Truck and Toki are dating. They've been having a situationship

since probably season 1. The two do love each other, they just never said it until after the events in Fertilityklok which did make Truck a lil upset (the events in the episode I mean)

should I mention that Truck has died plenty of times in the past here too? Yeah she's immortal and has always been immortal since she was 15 after being burned alive by her father. He also knows Lucifer and likes to call him Lucy, mostly just to make him upset. She thinks it's funny.

The band all acknowledges the fact that Truck is immortal and they never talk about it. Ever since Murderface learned of this fact, Truck became this dummy for him to experiment with all of the weapons he has. The first time Toki saw Truck die, it was pretty traumatic for him since he didn't know about it. So often whenever Truck is alive, he just listens to her heartbeat to make sure he's alive.

Trucks death lore is a lil complex, if you would even call it that, it has rules. Okay, depending on the injury, Truck can be dead for at least a couple hours or for even an entire day. Though her body always rejuvenates or heals the injury in 24 hours/couple hours. It happens in real time too. I have no idea if that made any sense lol

Getting away from all the death stuff, Trucks relationship with the other band members follows as this; Truck sees Nathan as a Father figure, the only father figure in her life as her own father often neglected her. She sees Murderface as an annoying brother and the two often bicker. She has no hard feelings towards Murderface killing her because she doesn't remember it happening. Her and Skwissgaar I'm working on because I don't know, the two had a quiet falling out to say the least. They just don't talk to each other as much as they did back then.

Her relationship with Charles is professional, they do work together after all. Often Truck tells Charles the music video she has in mind for a Dethklok song/single. Dick Knubbler and Abigail still needs work but I know that Truck loves Abigail more than Knubbler and they love talking to eachother. Her and Magnus used to date but never worked out because they often fought and argued. I think of their relationship like Marceline and Ash from Adventure Time.

That's all I have in me. If you read this far, I appreciate that ! Thank u and I hope you love him just as much as I do :3

[cartoonqueen16]

This is the design for female Ben for one of my au's.

In this au, the Omnitrix came to earth before Jen and Gwen were born and it was damaged. Max was called and took the damaged Omnitrix to keep it safe. Max kept the omnitrix hidden in the Rustbucket and retired so he could reconnect with his family and be apart of his grandchildren's lives.

One day Sandra visited Max and brought him some food since she noticed he was rather skinny. Max informed Sandra to set the food on the counter and when she did she noticed a bright purple glow (I think Ghostfreaks DNA is purple). Despite knowing she shouldn't Sandra investigated the glow and found the Omnitrix. The Omnitrix was glowing a bright purple and Sandra reached out touching it, there was a bright flash and once the light faded the purple glow was gone.

Later, Max discovers what happened and confronts Sandra, who admits what happened. Max is forced to sit down with Sandra and Carl and explain that their daughter could be born half-alien. Carl is outraged and yells at Max but Sandra intervenes and says it was her fault. Carl is still very upset but Sandra refuses to let him be upset with Max.

Time skip to when Jen was born (She was in a plumber base infirmary) it was very easy to tell she had alien DNA. Jen's appearance was like Carl and Sandra's except for the black lines and black and white textiles coming from her stomach. Carl was horrified and grossed-out but Sandra didn't care and loved her daughter. Sandra and Carl were Already aware they would have to hide Jen from the world but Max approached them with a solution.

The plumber were able to council Jen's alien DNA but Sandra and Carl were still advised by other to keep Jen hidden from the world. Sandra and Carl agreed and Jen spent her entire life home schooled and only allowed outside with supervision and even then she could only go out to the backyard or small trips with Max. No one in the family except Max knew about Jen and it stayed that way for a long time.

Jen grew up very monotone and unfeeling which worried Sandra. It also worried everyone when Jen complained about hearing a voice in her head and dreams about a ghost with an upside down head. Max found a solution and gave Jen special plumber built headphone that silenced the voice and the dream were blamed on a very active imagination. After that everything was fine until the summer road trip in which Jen discovered her power and the truth was revealed.

[lya-dustin]

All is Bliss

Chapter 46

Cw:casual misogyny, slutshaming, doubke standards and poison

Gif by @alicentloyalist

Taglist:@mercedesdecorazon @darylandbethfanforever9 @sweethoneyblossom1 @alexandria-millie @ewanmitchellcrumbs @watercolorskyy

Aemma was seven moons along when word of Harrenhal being retaken and sightings of Caraxes near the Saltpans had been reported to Aemond.

Replenished with men and supplies the westerners and riverlords decided that instead of going home with their dead and infirm, they would fight on.

Apparently Aemond and Criston are butting heads over this, Criston wants to march and regain what the greens lost while Aemond would rather fortify what they still have in case Daemon includes Nettles and Addam in his next attack.

That was a month ago, Aemma had not heard from him and neither had anyone else. No raven has come since Harrenhal had gone back to green hands. Although Seasmoke had been spotted heading south, towards Tumbleton where the greens won the day thanks to the two betrayers.

A suicide mission, one worse than Aemond’s.

Why in seventh hell would sensible and loyal Addam do such a thing is beyond her. Addam had far too much sense to abscond with his half-sister with their dragons across the Narrow Sea and yet he is going into Tumbleton where it has literally descended into anarchy because apparently loving murder, raping and pillaging is something the greens have in common with Hugh Hammer and Ulf White.

“The way men think with their cocks never ceases to amaze me.” Jena said as they played a card game in her rooms.

Aemma’s confinement had begun a moon ago, most women only left public life in the last two moons, but given her mother died in her seventh moon it was better to be safe than sorry.

As much as she hated it, she understood the necessity of it and tried her best to be a model patient.

Even if the sight of the birthing stool unnerved her and the young queen demanded it be covered with linen so she could pretend it wasn’t there.

“They act as if they didn’t hide from my father until someone with a bigger dragon came.” Baela snorted. “By the way is my betrothed in that losing fight or the other one?”

“Robert Rowan was captured, and his father turned to Aegon’s side, he won’t be in any more losing fights except maybe the one with Prince Jacaerys’ ghost.” Jena answered with a chuckle.

She was their window to the outside world, thank the gods Ironrod trusted her with his life.

Robert was a good and strong looking man; his great aunt had been Harwin’s mama and gave him a resemblance to Jace. If Jace had been allowed to grow broader and had thick curly hair and could lift an ox cart with ease, that is.

A good replacement, Aegon had said when he shot down the suggestion Baela be wed to his widowed father instead.

“I wish I could know if he is worth marrying, Aegon seemed nice enough and look what you’re stuck with.” Baela said tossing her cards after getting a bad hand.

Speaking of Aegon and their marriage, it had improved now that his cock doesn’t work.

He is actually trying to know her as a person and not a bedmate he must breed out of duty.

And because it is the least Aemma could do, she has found he is not as terrible as initially thought.

He has committed his fair share of atrocities, but it seems to have stemmed from never having faced any real consequence in his life.

Until now that the gods cursed him with impotence and an indifferent wife that is.

Aemma never thought she might face the issue of actually liking her husband. Made her secret marriage to his younger brother all the more dangerous. Really, the world had fucking mad.

“Agreed, if only there was a way you could try it all first. Like getting to ride a horse before you purchase it.” the young queen said, taking a card from the deck. Her hand is quite modest, but even with a winning hand Jena would mop the floor with them.

“Only if you ride this horse, you get branded a whore and, in some lands, fucking stoned to death for it.” Jena points out reminding Baela not to get any ideas. “If you wish to know what sort of man he is, we weasel it out of his household and former paramours, lucky for you, I know just the slut.”

“Please tell me that slut is you.” Baela looks far too intrigued by Jena’s stories.

It is not.

Aemma should not be surprised she means Alys Rivers.

“You summoned me, your grace.” The witch comes just as Aegon goes to have lunch with his mother to go after her taking over court duties while she is in confinement.

Once Alicent would have been overjoyed at the prospect of Aegon and Aemma getting along. Back when everything hinged on them being happy and in love so they could take Rhaenyra’s claim through her only trueborn child.

“Did you know she gets a rash from dandelions like I do?” Aegon mentions as he eats enough macaroni for two. Just as Laenor did, he shares the cravings with his wife even if the child is clearly not his, a small consolation.

“Yes, I remember from the instructions sent by the maester for the wedding feast.” Alicent answered, hoping her tone was enough to get him to stop talking about his wife.

He is besotted with her, the traitorous whore who took two sons from her and killed the third.

To think she had once felt sorry for her, that she had seen herself reflected in her and wished her success only to have her kindness thrown back at her with her defiance.

Gods, she should have just given her dandelion tea the moment Criston brought her here. Aemond was Aegon’s heir anyways, there was no true need for Aemma to live when Criston’s strategy failed.

“Have there been any ravens from your brother?” she asks knowing the answer to it.

Her sullen little boy was dead already, she could feel it in her bones.

Dead because of Rhaenyra. Rhaenyra was not content with all that she had taken from her and lived to torment her through her daughter.

“No, none. We have sent some riders, but there has been no ravens nor news since they arrived at the Crossroads.” Aegon’s face turned serious, defeat was tasted in the air and would come soon. He had cut back on his drinking and yet this news had him return to his old habits. “The Blacks are closing in on the God’s Eye, the North is marching south with Lord Stark, who’s uncle tried to usurp him as you had me usurp my sister, by the way. Oh, and the Arryns hired a fucking fleet from Braavos because Jeyne Arryn had her cousins and uncles try to usurp her as well, and even if she hates Daemon, she hates us more for killing her fucking cousins.”

Alicent never thought he would have the audacity to blame her for this.

“I have done everything for you, do not dare be ungrateful to your mother.” Alicent warned her son and yet he did not stop.

Didn’t stop drinking nor speaking these things that told her he would send her away the moment the whore gave birth to the blasted son she made happen.

“For me?!” he laughed incredulously, tossing his fork on the plate and getting his cane to leave, “For me?! Oh, mama, you wanted this crown, not me.”

“I only wanted to protect you, to keep you safe from your sister and her beast of a husband. I could only save you if I gave you the crown that was yours by rights.” The queen argued with him.

Why were they so blind? Why did they think her the monster when she killed those monsters for them?

She made deals with the Stranger and sold her soul for him; how could he be so blind to all she sacrificed for him?

“I was fucking fine with Rhaenyra being queen and Aemma after her. I know damn well I was not meant to be king; father knew that. We were safe from her because she’d never hurt her own child nor her grandchildren nor her own brothers and sister even after Driftmark, that is why father wed me to Aemma, to protect us after his death.” He idolizes Viserys now, pretends his father loved him and cared for him when the man stopped paying attention to him the moment Rhaenyra became with child. “The ones who put us in danger were you and grandfather. Now Daeron and Aemond are probably fucking dead, your father rots in hell as he deserved, and I am a fucking eunuch who needs his brother to fornicate with my wife so you could keep the power you envied Rhaenyra for having.

The least you can do now, is stop pretending you did all this for us.”

She lost him, she’s lost her son to someone worse than Rhaenyra’s whore daughter.

Alicent lost Aegon to the ghost of the man who took her innocence and her youth and her joy of living.

And it breaks her heart.

“Get out.” The queen turns away and bit back her tears as her golden son hobbles away. “You think me the monster in this story, and I suppose I am no longer your mother.”

And yet when her son vomits the wine in the hall, Alicent, in her mother’s worry, is the first to come to his aid.

“Mother’s here, sweetling. Mama’s here.” She says as he continues to spew the wine until he loses consciousness.

Poison.

Someone poisoned her son.

[slickshoesareyoucrazy]

Best Friends

So we're on the road to see J's best friend who lives with his wife on the Gulf Coast of Florida.

A few years ago (pre-covid), W had a major cardiac scare and emergency surgery. And then a couple years ago, he had a major motorcycle accident that landed him in the hospital for a bit too. He's still with us though. Thank goodness. ❤️

W and J have been friends for nearly 36 years...slightly longer than my almost 34 year friendship with A (but that's because they're 6 years older than us, and they (thank goodness) have both outlived A). They met when they were 16. They are now almost 52. W's birthday is 9 days before J's. A's birthday was 19 days after mine. W is short; J is tall (A was tall; I am short). W's first marriage was fraught with drama (no kids though which I guess is good) and he has a strained relationship with his family of origin (we're happy he's found security with wife number 2, who probably saved his life at least once)...which is a lot like A. Only A never got the happy ending with wife number 2. He stayed in the drama because they did have a kid. And J has a strained and complicated relationship with his family too, but it's not as bad as W's. (J's dad doesn't like me but he did come to our wedding, which W's parents didn't...to either one of his). And for two fairly stereotypically masculine men over 50, they are pretty emotionally close and comfortable with each other. There are a lot of parallels between J and W's friendship and A's and mine. That's probably why J was never jealous of A when literally every other guy who got near me was. He saw the parallels; he got it.

J's original plan to propose to me was at W's house. When I met W for the first time (that was so nerve wracking). Hurricane Frances ruined J's plans. But as we drove home in 10+ straight hours of driving rain, W called to check on us and J put him on speakerphone, because W was talking about me and J wanted me to hear it. See, we played Trivial Pursuit the night before we left because the power was out, and we could read the cards with a flashlight.

W said, "J, man, I used to think you were the smartest person I'd ever met, but then I met Jen. Now I think probably she's the smartest person I ever met. 😂 You done good." I blushed. W still doesn't know J let me hear that. J looked so wickedly proud of me then I didn't even know what to do with myself. Usually guys cut me loose once they knew I was smart...they'd have definitely ended things if their best friend said out loud that maybe I was smarter than them. Not J. I remember thinking then that A would approve of J when he'd never liked a boyfriend before. (True. Eventually.)

We just took a call from W to check our ETA. J put him on speaker again.

W: Seeing where you are so maybe we could meet you on the road for lunch.

J: We are just now entering Florida. ETA says 3:30 now to your place.

W: Thought you'd be to (city) by now. I love you and all, but I'm not driving to Georgia. 😂

But you know...he would drive to Georgia if we asked him to meet us for lunch. I know he would. When J and I got married, even though W is unquestionably his best friend, he didn't ask him to be his best man, because, 'I didn't want to obligate you to come all that way.' W was pissed/hurt a little, but he knows that's just how J is. So the Georgia comment was a joke. 19 years ago, W said, 'Obligate me? My best friend's getting married...FINALLY (that's a whole nother story 😂). No way I'm missing that.' A missed our wedding, because he'd moved out of state during a rough patch, in our friendship and in his life, and he distanced himself for a while. In fact, he missed all of my early relationship with J, except for the VERY beginning. He said many times since, 'I can't believe I missed that.' Me neither. 💔

Anyway, this isn't the original spring break trip we had on deck this year. We were going to go to some of the National Parks in the Southwest. That's where the Boy wanted to go. But when A died, he changed his mind before we could book anything. He took A dying pretty hard. And he remembers W's heart problem and his accident.

"I wanna go to Florida this year instead. You and Dad never get to see your friends." 😭❤️ (How lucky am I that this is my kid, right?)

A, I'll have to live with the regret that I never went to see you where you lived before you died. You always told me not to feel like I needed to come because, 'There's nothing to do here, Jen 😂'. But there was the most important, best thing to do there. There was seeing my best friend. And now I get to visit a grave instead. Should have argued with you more, you fucker. But I'm glad we're headed to see W now. Two hours away from somehow hearing W crack TALL jokes at J for 3 days, when you always cracked short jokes at me every time we saw each other.

Best friends are precious. If you are lucky enough to have one, make it weird and tell them you love them today.

[iosagol]

finished Ragnarok, feeling very warm and happy

so I hated the way Fjord's character was basically just a copy of Vidar for no discernable reason for over half the series, poor boy's entire set of complex ideals and history were all slam dunked into a gutter the moment the funeral somehow switched his entire brain chemistry

were the giants inconsistent in their characterization and intelligence levels, sure

did I dislike Magne basically being Smeagol for most of season 3, yeah

but aside from those three things

Wow I really really love this show

I heard a lot of complaints that there weren't big battle scenes but idk I'm not a battle scene child so I didn't care :)) I was so happy to have a show full of hiking in mountains and cooking in kitchens and going to the Edda Grill, with plenty of character-centric work all the time always

I loved how normal everything felt. The Seier's house looked like my aunt's house. The clothes the middle class characters wore all looked worn and pretty common, I could probably find their clothes in a thrift store.

All the small quirky things were so gooddddd

I love Magne's 24/7 facial expression of complete and utter "No thoughts, what the hell is happening to me, I'm so done with this life" except for the times when he's accidentally knocking over trees and playing catch with his own hammer and then he smiles so much :D Love how he's the mid guy at school, a virgin, nearsighted, internally panicking always and forever. He had some very interesting arcs and asked a lot of interesting questions. Looks like the brother of a friend of mine. Very chill person.

Laurits is such a joy, of course. Head over heels for him watching Finding Nemo twice to cope with Fjor abusing his tapeworm child, having a crying fit while making soup and blaming it on the onions, shopping for boots on Amazon + saying he's busy, and casually working as a double agent between the gods and giants for over a year to earn money so he can feed his child. Beautiful man, beautiful attitude, convinced me to start using mascara.

Jens grew on me. I was kind of annoyed about him while Laurits was just pining over him, but he redeemed himself being the only living creature with a braincell in season 3 and staying sane despite all the insane drama and his boyfriend having a massive scary tapeworm child <33

I love the women of this show and how they're all very beautiful but they're not hypersexualized or dumbed down like women are in the Thor movies in Marvel.

Turid made me think about my own relationship with my mom, 10/10 most complex mother I've seen depicted in media. Love how she comes across as both so worn/tired and so loving/caring. I loved her acting. Beautiful performance from her.

Saxa was very hard to read, I think. Her motivations were all over the place and I could never tell whether to pity her or hate her. But I liked how unpredictable she was, I really did. It was a lot of fun to watch her switch around, and it made sense for her character since she has a lack of emotions. She gave Azula vibes quite a bit.

I was always happy to see Iman onscreen <33 A cute, fun, silly girl who likes to flirt but isn't an idiot? Who wins fights by being precise and conserving her energy? Who uses her powers to get things for free and squeals happily about it? Got so excited that her friend could lift her up and down with one hand? She's either Batman or Robin? A gem. A real gem.

And Isolde. I'm sad she died because she was my favorite character up until then, loved her snark and loved that there was a super chill fun friendship there, but she kind of became the beating heart of the show when she died. Loved that she was this underlying reason to keep pushing forward and advocating for change.

Vidar was super funny to me because he was all fun and horny games when Magne was just learning his powers but then Magne killed Vidar's dog and that man actually ripped off his clothes and swore vengeance on the house of Thor and lost his tiny brain in a split second, he's the funniest man of all time

Ran... I don't know. She didn't really resonate with me at any point? I liked the way she always shifted in the giant family, adopting whatever mindset would keep her family together at all costs. Very much a bitch though :) I really like the Ran Jutul who gave that awesome speech, she was so cool ;D

Erik looked better with a beard, that's all I'm saying, are you really a Norwegian man if you don't grow a red beard fr

I vastly enjoyed that entire thing of "Norse mythology wouldn't work in the modern age because it's all fighting and killing and that's not allowed now" and the show literally was the exact reversal of that, it was all strategy and scheming and laying down weapons :D

The cinematography was remarkably fresh, it felt like it was actually trying to be engaging and interesting. Loved the lighting choices at all times, loved the nature shots, loved the minimal usage of CGI

This show made me get into researching climate change and I'm really grateful for that too

Really intrigued by the negative stance it took towards big corporations manhandling citizens' lives, felt dystopian in an extremely down to earth way

Loved the twists and adaptation choices

THE SOUND TRACK

The SONGS

Love the music to hel and back fr

Loved the finale since I interpreted it as Magne just reconsidering how the final battle could have gone, overcoming his trauma, and moving on from the fight for good.

4.67 stars out of 5. :))

[beautifulhigh]

Happiest of birthdays to my darling @bubblesandroses8 - you deserve all that is good in this world and I hope this helps put a little light into your life. You are my muse in human form, you help me turn ideas into something that actually resembles a plot, and you craft your own stories which live in my heart like it’s nothing. It’s something. It’s everything.

So what do you do for the queen of dads!Tarlos fics? You go and play in that sandbox for a while. I hope I did it justice.

***

That glamorous love lasts where you sparkle and waltz and laugh before you were mine (7k) (AO3 link)

Somewhere in the midst of all this planning and preparation and family time, the youngest of Carlos' sisters had managed to land herself a job interview in Austin. The idea of getting her baby girl back to Texas was making the joyous situation of Carlos' wedding even more wonderful so for Andrea and so she had managed to rearrange the moving jigsaw of family members to free up Bella and herself and they were going into town to get her a suitable interview outfit.

There was one issue that needed to be solved: baby Carolina. All of ten months old and no one left to watch her in the way that apparently was needed for a child under the age of one.

Except Tío Carlos.

OR

How TK and Carlos spend an impromptu day looking after the youngest of the Reyes grandchildren.

OR

How Jen plays in the dads!Tarlos 'verse for a moment.

TK forced himself to pick up his feet as he walked along the corridor. The loft door was in sight, his keys had been in his hand and primed since entering the building. He was so close. On the other side of that door were the welcoming arms of his fiancé and then a few steps beyond those was the bed and he would probably manage to kick off his shoes before he fell into it and then after that he had no other plans than to sleep until he was woken up for food.

Carlos was probably going to wake him up for food. He usually did.

Doing additional shifts in the run up to the wedding had seemed like a good idea and they both were picking up the hours where they could in order to mitigate some of the costs that seemed to be spiralling away from them. Today's (very very very very very very) long shift was for the cake. Or maybe it was for one of the "groom's maid" dresses? TK couldn't remember and right now it didn't matter. All that mattered was getting through that door and going to bed. The hug from Carlos had become optional. He'd understand, TK was sure of it.

A shift of solid calls, of Paul taking pity on the EMS crew and making them a portable meal they could eat between scenes, of Tommy trying to get them off grid for a proper break only to be told that three houses had been called to a major operation just outside the city: while Dispatch would do their best they'd not been this stretched for medical cover since the ice storm. The best they could do was try to keep them in a specific area for a bit but they would need to go where they were needed.

The firefam had rallied around when it became clear that the run on medical calls was keeping them from the house and any kind of rest. Judd had made them copious amounts of "real coffee" and when the bus met up with the rig on some of their calls the paramedic team were given brief moments of respite by their housemates: new supplies of food and drinks, and the fire crew doing a bit more medical than they normally would. Not for the first time TK appreciated what a family his dad had created here in Austin, and how lucky he was to get to work with people who would willingly bandage up a wound or take over monitoring a patient so that you could take a quick bathroom break.

But the shift was over and it was done and he was home and he could sleep and be taken care of for the next however many hours. The family of the 126 was something but the family of his fiancé on the other side of this door was all he wanted right now.

He unlocked and opened the door and stopped dead, fairly sure he was already asleep and dreaming.

Carlos gently bounced the baby in his arms who was still grizzling and refusing to settle at all. "I can explain," he said.

keep reading

[departeaaa]

CASSIAN BARAKZAI • DC BIO • 36

i tremble. they're gonna eat me alive...

chara tag ⁂ fic idea tag ⁂ creations tag ⁂ pinterest tag ⁂ ship w/ john c tag

BASICS

Name: Genesis Cassian Barakzai

Nickname(s): Cass, Genesis, Jen

Date of birth: April 1 (She says her life’s a joke from birth)

Star sign: Aries.

Gender/pronouns: Cis-woman, she/her

Orientation: Bisexual, Biromantic

Occupation: former Field Journalist. Currently a ghost-author. Fake psychic who actually knows her shit.

Relationship status: Single, but sometimes seeing J.ohn Co.nstantine. It’s ridiculously complicated.

Playby: V/ita Mi/r

trigger warning before reading further: death, probably other things but idk what exactly.

Tests

INFJ CHAOTIC GOOD

A QUOTE THAT REMINDS ME OF THEM:

“What use is moonlight? I reach into it, fingers open, and my hand is silvered and blessed, and comes back to me holding nothing.”

— Margaret Atwood, from “Sumacs,” in Interlunar

BEGINNINGS

Born In: Unspecified, Russian (Unspecified because Cass' father never told her where) Raised In Location: Unspecified, Ireland (Unspecified because Cass won't tell)

Current Location: Gotham.

Places Lived: Random places. She just lives wherever.

Nationality: American.

Background:

Her biological mother is from Afghanistan and her biological father is from Russia. She never met her biological mother, but her biological father was cool enough to give her her mother’s surname ‘Barakzai’ as a memory to her. Her father was originally going to live in London but he ended up marrying an Irish woman who he loved very much, and during that time, things were alright.

Even with the area in conflict during the 90s, he still made things comfortable and Cass still had a good group of friends to rely on and family she was comfortable with. She also adored her little sister. She was a surprisingly happy-go-lucky girl growing up, to many people’s surprise if they see pictures of her from this time compared to now. During her time in Ireland, she learned magic from her step-mother and was pretty great at it and gifted at predictions.

Thing was, she noticed that magic was a little buggy when her father used it so she always warned him of it. She wasn’t exactly sure why. But when she was seventeen, her parents died performing a spell that they did without thinking of the repercussions and it not only wiped them out but everyone in their small town except for Cass and her sister.

And upon this discovery, Cass and her sister hopped out of town and began new lives. Cass decided not to use magic often, but ended up using ‘fake psychic’ predictions along with real ones in order to make a good amount of money to make it to uni and to afford a place for her little sister to live since they didn’t have any other family to go to. And though she knew her father would roll in his grave, they chose London as the place to stay.

Cass stayed for a while and studied up until a grandma of hers reached out to help take care of her sister, so she could live her life. Cass did not want to leave her sister, but she ended up doing field journalism and occasionally took time off. It was during this time where she met John Constantine and found him to be rather irritating, despite sleeping with him.

The two ended up working together because he noticed some of the fake psychic predictions she made were legit and he also had noticed when she performed street magic for kids she sometimes did actual tricks.

He had warned her to be careful around kids, but then contradicted himself by asking her to help him with something. And she had helped him, and it ended up biting her in the ass and he ended up ditching her. Which led her to be cross with him. The two of them did not meet again, until later on when he’d warned her that her sister had been possessed by a demon. Which caused Cass to not only use magic again, but she was now open to working with John again.

Though she no longer uses magic often, and she uses her party tricks of fake psychic readings for her income and her books, she will occasionally investigate hauntings for people just to make sure what happened to her small neighborhood won’t happen to anyone else’s home or family – though it was not a demon’s doing and her parents’ own foolishness. Cause deep down, despite Cass’ serious façade, she just wants to help people.

[kaerimichirami]

Inkling (2023 Halloween Special Short Story)

“C’mon, I’d love it if you came along!”

“I don’t know… how will they look at our relationship? A-and I’m not good with young people!”

“Pfff… you wouldn’t have pulled me if you weren’t.” That wasn’t true, as Liv was mostly like a tired salary man in his fifties. “It’s just a six-year gap, five for Maddie! Besiiiiides, it’s my first trip since dad’s passing… I want you to be there if I end up breaking down or something.” Well, in that case… Liv was really close to her late dad, and they would often go on trips together. He was a sweet father, but had been battling depression after a succession of bad happenings in his life. One day, he abruptly ended all of it, by hanging himself. Liv and I were dating for only a few months, and I remember how many nights I hugged her so tightly as it was borderline unbearable. If going meant I was going to be there for her, then…

“Okay… I’ll go.”

“Thank you, Claire. It will be so cool! Cece got us a minibus and everything!” It was rare for Liv to be that excited about something, so I didn’t feel like disappointing her.

Over a week passed, and we were getting in the minibus. I needed to check with Liv their names, of course. I didn’t want to mess up. Maddie was the oldest, who was dating Cece’s twin brother, Darius. Let’s say he ‘fit in well with the girls’ and that Cecelia was so much more masculine than him. Maddie… didn’t seem to notice. It was almost like a twin event, Cece’s girlfriend being Aurora, Aurelia’s sister. They were identical. I wouldn’t be able to tell them apart if Aurelia didn’t have shorter hair, shaved eyebrows and many, many body piercings. She was a little scary…? No, not for her looks. She was just scary. Then, there was Jen and Sophie. Jen had so many tattoos, but she was hilarious and light. I also managed to have some deeper talks with her. Sophie was one year younger than the rest of them, and she was deaf, so I managed to learn a few signs to communicate with her. As the sweet girl she was, she got so happy with that.

When I met Liv, she always talked about Sophie. Deep down, I thought there was something between them. Turns out they just had a really deep sister-like bond, as both of them had lost their moms when they were younger, and Liv simply sympathized a lot and learned ASL to talk to Sophie properly. As Liv had rather a hard shell, Sophie seemed to be one of the few people to get to know her truly. Also, Sophie was down baaaad for Jen. Bad.

As for Cecelia, she was the jokester, the troublemaker, and lacked a little of respect and know-your-placeness. She was an extremely rich kid, so I never wondered why she was like that. Liv claimed she was in fact a good person and was really special, deep inside. I had trouble understanding that, though…

Going camping, in the mountains, with these folks, let’s say it didn’t sound like an amazing thing, you know? Camping was a hard no for me, I hated insects, sleeping in tents… but I couldn’t resist Liv’s begging, so there I was. We got in the minibus, and, wow, it wasn’t mini. In fact, it was huge and it even had a bathroom. Yes. With a shower. That was more like an RV, right?

We would take turns driving, except for Sophie who didn’t have a license, and Cece who “couldn’t be trusted driving”, Maddie’s words. She was supposedly the oldest, but she lacked much personality. I hated to perceive her that way, but she was a big-boobed straight girl with a gay boyfriend. Nothing but that. Ugh… I felt bad being surrounded by people between 18 and 20 years of age. It was fine, really, but it also felt a little weird. Liv searched for my hand, and it felt quite reassuring.

Over an hour in, and we were really getting along. Darius was an annoying piece of shit, and neither Maddie nor Aurora had much to their character, but Aurelia and Jen were really fun people. Sophie was seemingly in her own world, even though she wore hearing aids, they often didn’t make her justice. But Liv told me it was always like that, and she didn’t mind. Aside from her, Jen also knew ASL, so they had their own private conversations sometimes. I looked at them, and I wondered if they were flirting? But the signs I knew couldn’t answer that doubt.

We had superb snacks, and we were just having a nice time. I wondered what it would be like. Liv told me we would sleep in cabins, so we would have rooms. That would be nice, right? Not having to sleep inside tents.

It was my turn to drive, and it felt very easy. Well, it was late at night, and the road was basically empty… I wasn’t the best driver, but my only obstacle here was to not fall asleep. Liv sat beside me, and her loud laugh in response to her friend’s telling stories was keeping me pretty awake. She would often caress my thigh when it felt right, and you know, give me her little looks. After about an hour, the timer they set ran out and the brother took charge. Liv brought me to the back, and said she wanted to talk. We went to the bathroom, that was quite spacious. I mean, if you consider it was a bus. Also, it didn’t smell or felt weird (despite Maddie’s sickness from earlier).

Instead of words, she just gave me a kiss.

“Sorry. I just wanted to kiss you.” So, that meant they didn’t know. In fact, I was Liv’s professor from College. I had just graduated, and I was a mere substitute. But I was still older, and it was still quite immoral, despite Liv not being underage. Still, I wanted to kiss her, too… they would know, right? That we were making out. The fact we were taking so long, and the fact we would look all messed up when we came back… but she was so captivating, her lips were so sweet, honey-like, and her hands on my back just felt so right. Liv was much taller than me, so it always felt a little unfair when I would top her most of the time. I mean… I shouldn’t get ahead of myself, right? We… we were just kissing, nothing else. As we were dizzy and sopping, we ran out of breath and separated. She gave me a sweet smile before opening the door and leaving, and I followed her right after. They didn’t seem to mind, although Cece looked at us with a smirk. I knew she knew, but my face still got red.

“Wait… I don’t think that’s the right way.” Jen said. Darius replied, saying he had only followed the GPS, nothing else. Besides, there was no turning he reminded of taking. Just going forward, and forward. I wondered what happened…? It was dark outside, as it was, as I checked, two in the morning. But the streets looked eerie, in a sense, the trees seemed so old and, well, not exactly withered, but… dying.

They fought over it for a moment, when they decided to stop the engine. There was a sign next to us, and it didn’t look like English. In fact, I knew many writing systems, and I couldn’t recall that. I tried picking up my phone to use some photo reverse search to find what it was, when I found out we had no signal. Uh-oh. The GPS also seemed to not be working properly. I asked them if they had signal, but no one else had. What was really fun for a few hours soon got to be a little stressing.

Aurelia didn’t seem to mind, but I could see a little panic in Sophie’s eyes. Liv and I looked at each other, but neither of us knew what was happening. There was some sudden fog outside, and I couldn’t see much. I wondered what the sign meant? I told Liv, but we couldn’t read it anymore.

Even Cece was getting a little scared, because it was so sudden. Well, we had food for a few days, right? We could just turn around and make our way back. I suggested it, and they seemed to agree. Miles back, there was a hotel. We could stay there and continue our trip the next day, or we could just sleep in the bus, in a safer location.

Darius tried starting the bus many times, but it would always die. He tried, over and over again. Then Jen tried, then I tried… nothing worked. As I was trying for the third time, I heard that Bossa Nova tune Liv kept as her ringtone. So, we had signal. I was going to say something like “Wow, I’m so glad”, when I saw the dread in my dear Olivia’s eyes as she looked at the phone.

“W-what’s wrong?” She was in utter shock, and she barely managed to mumble:

“I-it’s my… dad…” As she showed the phone to us. That could be a joke, right? Also, that could just be someone with the old number. No… he had died four months ago and Liv didn’t cancel the plan, she kept paying it and put the SIM card in an old phone, so she could use it as an emergency one. Trembling, as we all heard that cheerful-but-sad Brazilian melody, she picked it up and put it on speakerphone.

“H-Hello?” But no one would reply a thing. It was just an eerie sound, like a scary video game BGM. We thought no one would say anything, until, we heard voices. Many voices. Like a chorus, who sang “come with us, come with us.” That could only be a prank, right? That’s what we all chose to believe. We were sticking to that, and trying to make the bus work again, when we heard a knocking on the door.

“Do not open it.” Jen said, and we all nodded. All the curtains were on, but there was still the front of the bus, right? The old man… no, the thing… it kept knocking, and knocking. Its eyes were empty, I could see it so well as it was right in front of me. It smiled at us. It looked friendly, as if it was inviting us to a local party.

Suddenly, Sophie fell to the ground. She started screaming, as she covered her ears. I didn’t know what was happening, but she took off her aids, and it seemed to cease. Our phones were all glitching, and Darius’ smartwatch, too. We put all the electronics aside, but it was distressing for Sophie. She now relied on Jen and Liv, so Jen offered herself to intertwine her arms with hers. This way, she would feel safer.

The thing… it kept looking, and knocking. I couldn’t see much because of the fog, but I could hear more knocking, from various sides of the bus. Knocking, and knocking… it was some kind of rhythm. I slowly realized it was the same tune from the Bossa Nova from earlier. Liv must have noticed it too, and she started crying. That was her dad’s favorite song.

“Whoever’s doing this, it’s not fun!” Liv cried, and I hugged her. It seemed like it wasn’t a joke. Cece, who could be the only person to do something like this, was on the verge of tears herself. Even the twin, who didn’t care much about stuff, was scared. We were surrounded by a cult. And they were probably not human. We had nowhere to go, and we could only hope daylight would save us. But it didn’t.

“I… need to go to the bathroom.” Aurora said. Two minutes later, we heard her scream from the small room. It was locked, and we couldn’t get to her. She wouldn’t reply, just that loud noise, and then nothing. Cece was crying, and crying, and banging on the door, trying to open it. After a couple of minutes of extreme insistence, we managed to do it.

We found her bleeding, with a hole in her chest. There was no gunshot sound, there was no sign of someone breaking in. She was alone there, and now she was losing blood and unconscious. Liv looked so terrified and done. Sophie shared the same face.

“That’s how her mom died. Someone shot her, right there.” That’s right. The twins were actually adopted, after losing both of their parents. We didn’t know if we were losing Aurora or not. There was a first aid kit, but how could it help with that? There was no bullet. No damn bullet. There was no gun. There was no killer. There was just us. Cece was yelling almost incomprehensible things to her girlfriend, trying to keep her alive. Then, suddenly, she started convulsing. Her body shook and shook on the ground. It was violent. Cruel. Suddenly, she stopped. We checked both of their pulses, and they were dead. Liv and I did CPR, but it didn’t work. It was hopeless. The remaining siblings, who never talked, just looked at each other. None said a word. None cried. They couldn’t cry. It was that horrible.

Suddenly, Sophie seemed in pain again. She looked at us extremely confused, and it seemed like she had no idea where she was. We managed to have her sit down, and we tried calming her, but she replied to our every word, and she said the noise was too loud. What was that place, even? Now Sophie could hear? What the hell was happening? What killed those girls?

Darius remembered about an uncle of theirs, that had a stroke and died. He was really close to Cece, as she learned all of her tricks and jokes with him. Then… I looked at Liv… if we were bound to die like people in our family did, it only meant…

Before we could do anything, Maddie’s body jerked forward. She started to bleed heavily from her belly, as if there was a deep cut. She involuntarily got on her knees and was throwing up blood. We were face to face, and I saw her as she cried, trying to mutter something. She fell completely silent to the ground, defeated.

Liv looked at me with so much horror in her face. It wasn’t my sweet Liv. It’s like she had been through several wars. Then, I recalled. It wasn’t just her friend dying. She had told Liv just three days ago, she was pregnant. It was a shock, obviously. Did Darius know? They didn’t talk about a baby or anything. But he was so done, so terrified, too. We were just waiting for the other one to die. It was a matter of time.

The knocking still wouldn’t stop. It never stopped. The people were still there, as we looked from the windows. Then, I received a call. Unknown number. But the area code… I knew that well, it was from my hometown. I didn’t pick up, but I tried calling the police, thinking there could be a signal. Dumb me… as I unlocked my phone, it died, and I couldn’t turn it back up. I kept thinking about the area code... I couldn’t recall someone close to me who died, except for one… I had a little cousin, when I was five years old, she was a few months older. We only played together during the summer, as she lived in another town. One day, though, we were playing in the water and were both drowning. An older cousin thought I was the only one there, so he saw me struggling and got me out of the water. He had to give me CPR, but I couldn’t say she was still there. When he realized, it was too late. So that was it? I was going to die like that?

We all knew something was soon happening. It was just… so horrible. I wanted to cry. In fact, I was crying. As I hugged Liv, we cried our hearts out. The bodies gave me so much pain, and the knocking was making me go insane. But, overall, Sophie seemed to have it worse. It was unbearable for her. The knocking got only more intense, as the bus started to vibrate. I looked at Sophie, Jen was holding for dear life onto her, while her ears started bleeding. No… not only her ears… Her eyes and mouth started bleeding. She was the sweetest-looking girl, with her chubby cheeks… and then she looked like a monster, a suffering monster. She started coughing up that blood, and as she moved forward we saw that, to the back of her head, there was a huge cut. As if there was an axe wound. But there was no actual weapon. Jen was trembling to the point she couldn’t hold her anymore, and Sophie’s body just fell to the ground. We all looked at her, with so much sadness in our eyes.

Darius, who was trying to keep his cool, finally weakened. As the knocking grew louder and a chanting, like the one from the phone, started. He started screaming, and breaking things. It was just a matter of time for us to die, right? He looked like a beast. When, suddenly, he got calmer, and slowly descended to the ground. As if… he had received some kind of injection? There was a small bleeding coming from his arm. Upon checking, there was no breathing or pulse.

So, the remaining were Aurelia, Jen, Liv and me. I had my cousin, Liv had her father, Aurelia had her dad that died alongside her mother, but Jen didn’t know about her family. She was given away as a baby, and grew up in an orphanage, passing through many foster families. We tried asking her if there was anyone dear to her that could have died. But before she could reply, we started to smell something weird. It was… burning? Soon, I saw Jen’s face, her hair was falling apart, her skin, covered in bruises. It wasn’t hot near her. But she was on fire, somehow. There was once a fire in an orphanage in that city, I knew. That was the worst thing I have ever seen. I thought Maddie’s death was brutal, but Jen’s… she agonized, and agonized, and we couldn’t do anything.

At the same time, we heard a semi-scream coming from Aurelia. Her sister was shot on the chest, but hers… was right on her face. She looked at us for a few seconds, then fell to the ground, just like the others. The bus was so cramped with all of the corpses, and the knocking just got louder and louder, and the chanting just got louder and louder, and my fear just got worse and worse, and I held onto Liv and didn’t want to let her go.

I was happy that Jen finally seemed to die. Her agonized, melting, liquified face was too much for me to bear. I looked at Liv one more time, and I kissed her deeply. That would be our last kiss, I knew.

“I’m so sorry for bringing you here, Claire, I’m really sorry. I love you so mu-” I was crying listening to her words, that were soon interrupted. She was asphyxiating. Right… I couldn’t stand that. But I held her hands, and I repeated “I love you too” so many times. I saw her face turn bluish, then almost purple. She finally gave in, as her lifeless body fell into my arms. There was only me left, right? That meant… I would die. I closed my eyes, preparing myself.

But it wouldn’t come. It just wouldn’t come. I thought I would also feel the same thing, but it just wouldn’t happen. Then, it hit me. I had died. My cousin had saved me that time. So I wouldn’t die a creepy, senseless death without an author. I was the one that was being saved for last. I was the main dish.

The knocking stopped. And that was a terrible sign. They started breaking in. Through the windows, through the door. It was too many of them, and just me. I tried fighting back, of course I did, but I couldn’t do much. Their chanting never stopped, and it was indeed terrible. It messed up with my senses, I was extremely overwhelmed.

It would be terrifying to live after that. I saw every single one of them die. I saw my dear Liv die. I couldn’t bear it. I couldn’t bear it. As I thought that, they stopped advancing over me. One by one, they left. It was just in time for sunrise, too. The street wasn’t foggy, and the sign was clear English. They disappeared in the horizon, leaving me free and alone. I looked around… all the bodies were still on the ground. The smell of vomit, blood and guts was making me so sick. I looked at my lovely Olivia in my arms, her closed eyes, growing colder each second. I had no will to live. I didn’t want it anymore. It felt suffocating. As if I was drowning. The phone rang again, and I looked at it. Trembling, I picked it up. A childlike voice answered it:

“So, Claire, tell me… how does it feel to be the one who’s chosen to live?”

(End)

Author's comment: this is my second attempt at horror. Hm, okay, when I was 14 I wrote some stuff, but nothing nearly like this. I know this isn't, like, extremely original and amazingly written, but I got some chills. Of course I had to put that "fate" thing into it. I can't do just pure horror where people die for reasons. Do I think any of them deserved to die? Nope. It's unfair. Extremely unfair. And that's how life feels most of the time. Sometimes, you just want to write some psychological horror and a little gore. I think Maddie's death is a bit too much, right? Because there's a baby there. Well... sorry. Well, about Darius is that he died like their family dog who got euthanized, I hope that made sense. Unlike my other stories, there's no message here. It's just for the thrills. You could think Aurora died from lack of serving or that Darius was a jerk, or that Claire and Liv's relationship was wrong and they should die for it. But no. I mean, maybe they weren't the best people on Earth, but it was just me being mean this time. I loved writing most of these characters, honestly. Also, I pictured Jen as a transfem but I couldn't put it in a nice way in the story (despite me being trans myself). I don't know if Claire knew that. I'll use that as my excuse, as it is her POV. Also, I don't really think it's her cousin called, but more something like... her guilt, that took a monster form in the underworld. Yes. We can think that. All of these characters felt some kind of guilt for the death of their loved ones. I never explain the background for Maddie and Sophie, but you can understand that it's people from their families, right? I didn't think too much. So, maybe there is a message here. Kill your guilt before it kills you. If you worry that much, it's probably not your fault and even if there is, you regret it, right? So let's move on before we get calls from people who died.

[winderlylandchime]

And we are officially at 4x03. He ran inside after his PT and then got annoyed with me that it took me a minute longer to get settled. According to him ‘work can wait, Brian and Justins poor life decisions can’t’. He now also dances when the intro plays so that’s new. ‘Love the intro but it wouldn’t kill them to give me more Justin and Brian. Where were they when they filmed this? Look at MY boy walking off into the title! That’s right, its his show!’ ‘Its my other boy Blake! Im so happy he’s still here. thank fuck Ted is clean. Good for you. AH LOOK ITS BRIAN AND EMMETT…and mike. SEE? I TOLD YOU THEY ARE BESTIESSSSS. THATS RUGHT EMY BRIAN DOES HAVE A HUSBAND! See, how now hr has zero reaction except that blinking? When compared to season 1 when Emmett said he feels left out cause its turning into a couples night out, he was all *does childish mocking voice with both of his hands on his hips* excuse me, i dont have a boyfriend. CHANGE! Oh shit its ted and emy. Oh i need them to be friends again please’ *pauses tv on Brian* ‘i dont know what this man was doing when they filmed this but he has been looking GORGEOUS every scene so far.’ ‘So Ted is now fully avoiding them? Wait Bri Bri, i thought they would be friends’ AND THE SCENE WITH JUSTINS HAIRCUT IS UP OH GOD ‘ugh this fucker again. Look the part? Pink what now? Pink Posse? *tries not to laugh* im trying to be nice but i hate that guy and the name sounds funny. ITS ONLY FOR QUEERS? Should i leave? Justin, youre just gonna let him be a dick to your friend? What? And why are they getting haircuts? He is next for what?..what is he..no. No. NOOOOOOO JUSTIN NOOOO DONT LET HIM TOUCH YOUR HAIR! NOOOOO WHY WOULD THEY DO THIS TO ME!!! He really wants people to look like him. That is a cult, man. JUSTIN PLEASE NO YOU CAN STILL STOP IT CMON WE CAN FIX- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *rewinds ep to cody, pauses tv and gets close to it and points at him* YOU, can officially go fuck yourself. You are on my shit list FOREVER! Who just wakes up and does that?’ It just got to the scene with Jen and Brian! ‘AH ITS JEN AND BRI! AT HIS LOFT! Am I actually gonna get my buddy episode? I AM ARENT I? FINALLY A FUCKING WIN ON MY HORIZON. You cannot tell me they arent best friends! Oh she’s helping him build the business *pauses tv when jen and brian are looking at the computer* look at us. Who would’ve thought we’d get here eventually, huh? Not you. (Justin walks in) OH GOD THIS IS HORRIBLE! THANK YOU JEN! Its called a mistake, Justin! ALL THREE OF US ARE HEARTBROKEN BY THIS. HEARTBROKEN YOU HEAR ME?! Exactly Jen, it was beautiful! This is the most devastating thing since…i dont know what but something. He looked at his mother and said Pink Posse with a straight face. WHY IS HE BEING SO PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE TOWARDS HIS MOM? Brian! Do something! Okay the Timberlake line is funny. (Brian says the haircut is hot) yeah well, you also thought working for that trump bitch was a good idea. *looks at me* its not the worst haircut and he doesn’t look bad but *makes bunch of noises while flapping his arms* UGHH’ ‘Debbie girl, BOUNDARIES! Let Vicky boy have his moments with his boyfriend! He’s finally happy and in love.’ Justin is now getting ready to go out with Pink Posse ‘wait.. THE PINK PUSS- I MEAN POSSE IS PINK SHIRTS AND CARGO PANTS WITH A BUZZCUT? *starts laughing but trying not to* i swear im trying to be cool because i love Blondie but what? Okay at least Brian also finds it ridiculous. YES BRIAN DOESNT LOOK THIS! YES BRIAN HE SHOULD GO BACK TO SCHOOL! I knew Bri Bri would hate this! He’s not an idiot and he’s for sure still thinking about the prom. DAMN IT JUSTIN. Look at him he is WORRIED AND SCARED!’

THATS RUGHT EMY BRIAN DOES HAVE A HUSBAND! See, how now hr has zero reaction except that blinking? When compared to season 1 when Emmett said he feels left out cause its turning into a couples night out, he was all *does childish mocking voice with both of his hands on his hips* excuse me, i dont have a boyfriend. CHANGE!

YES SEE! Brian grows and changes and it is so so important!

I love that your brother is correctly upset by Justin's buzzed hair. ALL THREE OF US ARE HEARTBROKEN BY THIS. HEARTBROKEN YOU HEAR ME?!

I'm so glad he's excited for Jen and Bri Bri to team up. He did call it! And yes Justin is such a little cunt to his mom in that scene. He is only like... 20? 21? though

I hope he soaks up all of Vic's happiness....

Brian IS still thinking about prom... never forget.

[specklesofdust]

6-22-2023

on 6/17/23, I ran into Reggie at Cobra and completely ignored him like the demon of despair that he is and he then proceeded to get his friend to try and follow me outside of the bar and i was able to bypass his spy and get away from them to another bar across the street before they could see me and then my roomie ashley texted me at like 4:23am that morning stating that Reggie showed up at our door pounding on it psychotic and drunk demanding to see me and when she told him i wasn’t there he started yelling fuck you bitches i do whatever i want! and he walked across the street continuing to scream.... i have blocked him on everything except email and gave him a verbal warning that if he were to ever be anywhere near my place of residence again that i was going to call the cops so i really fucking hope that never happens again. I feel terrible that he scared ashley like that and i know she is now more than ready to have me move out which i am totally cool with bc i am fucking tired of paying now $1125 a month to live in a house that smells like cat shit all the time... i love her and appreciate her hospitality but naw i am over that cost of living for that kind of climate. I had a long talk with Gator after all of that happened and after his psycho ex gf called me and told me he had just been hanging out with her for the last several days that i called him with him not answering and she relayed that he has been lying to her and she saw my number on his phone when he was asleep and decided to call me and see who i was and had tons and tons of very personal questions about me and gators relationship. once he called me back finally he and i met in person and i told him what she had said and he called me out for hanging out with reggie and him at the same time and told me that he could smell reggie on me and he still let me into his house because he loves me and is tired of me giving my time to reggie who doesn’t give a fuck about me obviously and that i deserve more than what i have been experiencing and he came forward about his ex lauren and him hanging out recently and we both agreed that we would see each other exclusively and plan on moving in together now and potentially starting a family. he gave me the keys to his place and said i can stay there since it is a safer place for me right now since reggie doesn’t know where that is but then again jen knows where gator lives from a couple of months ago when she and i were still friends and she came over to hang with us one day. I have never been so close to hating another human being as i do with jen and reggie right now but i am  going to have to not let these reactive rages ruin my optimism... they are both evil and always will be evil and will never change and i need to just accept the fact that misery loves company and shun them from any synapse that i have. it will take time but it has already nearly been a week since that bullshit happened and i am doing markedly better already. i just don’t know if living in this city any more will be beneficial to my betterment tbh...

I felt a lot of comfort about the new plan with gator for the last couple of days when he was in town but then he left on tour for PCB this afternoon and will be gone for like 4 days and then he gets back into town for like 1 night and then he will leave again on another tour for another week after that... idk what to do man... the promises he makes and the way he tells me he loves me and supports me and wants to be with me and me only are very beautiful but when he promises me he won’t leave me, he is then literally gone for days and weeks at a time? ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh what am i doing with my life?|!

my supervisors just gave me another written warning about my attendance and i literally cannot be late or call out at all anymore or else i am fired... i am tired of working here on night shifts and i really just want to get another job where i can work in the daytime and have better pay and better support but why would i get another job in this forsaken city of sadness again when i could be looking for other options elsewhere? 

Idk what to do man...i guess i am just going to keep working here until i can formulate a better plan and i will see what happens with gator within this next month. i feel a lot of great things with him and i really love how much he loves me and how kind and forgiving and unconditionally supportive he has been with me even when i have been an evident slut in front of his face, but he has also been exposed with his sketchy ways and is a fucking touring musician who is in town maybe like 38%-72% of the time max and i will require way more presence from a partner in the future forreal, especially if we actually do get serious about starting a family because i will be damned if i am pregnant and alone in a city that i have grown to despise.. the shit isn’t very assuring right now in my soul...

i am going to auburn this weekend for tess and joshes engagement party and this will be the first time i have been back to my hometown in over a year i think. I am praying that i gain some clarity while i am there regarding what i should do with my life and it will at least be nice to get the FUCK out of Nashville even if just for a couple of days. 

I feel so alone right now. i don’t feel like i have any real friends here any more and the ones i thought i did have have either become evil entities, snobs, gnarly alcoholics, or fare weather fiends. 

i need to pray and meditate and sleep and exercise and drink water and remember who the fuck i am who i want to be and how i can become that to the best and fullest of my ability. I am tired of being thrown in the crossfire and change needs to happen sooner than later 

[sick-of-coffee]

Girl in Pieces by Kathleen Glasgow.

Years ago, I’ve been struggling to come across a book that I could indulge in for hours. I am aware of many, many well-written books out there but none of them was really written for me. Either the writings were too blatant (I absolutely DIG metaphors) or it’s a book that revolves around romance, which no offence to you, my audience, who prefer the genre, but it’s just not for me. I was casually browsing through a local bookstore, looking for some stationeries originally, but then lost my way and accidentally wandered around the bookshelves somehow. I picked up this book mainly because of its paperback cover that stood out from the rest (I mean, it’s pink) and I have little to no expectations whatsoever – I did not think it was going to be interesting. I read the synopsis and thought that the story is a little too personal; given that it touched on suicide and self-harm. Since the book wasn’t plastic wrapped, I flipped through a couple of pages to get a little bit of insight on how it’s written. I read a little on the page where it talked about Charlie’s deceased father and immediately I was hooked. Don’t get me wrong – death and suicide are hefty subjects and reading anything revolving those two things is never easy. But Kathleen Glasgow’s story-telling was hauntingly beautiful and somewhat brilliant. The realism of this book is what sold me, honestly. It illustrates the reality of those born into a broken family and how they never had a chance to experience life because they’re constantly trying to survive. 

Now, let’s take a look at the literary devices that can be found in this book and which of them I like the most. I’ve mentioned earlier that I love metaphors in writing. Kathleen Glasgow embraces that during the writing process of Girl in Pieces. Some of you might not know what a metaphor really is but worry not, I have you covered. Metaphor as defined by Merriam-Webster is a figure of speech in which one word or phrase describing an object or action is substituted for another in order to convey a similarity or analogy between them. Do you get it? Metaphor figuratively compares and equates two things that are not alike. If I were to compliment you by comparing you to a peach, it means that I think you’re sweet and delightful just like a peach is and not a peach literally. In this book, specifically on page 27, Charlie writes a note to Casper that her body is on fire, that it’s burning. If she mends herself, she feels cooler and calm on the inside like how moss feels when you get to far back in the woods. Does that mean she’s literally on fire or that when the flame is put out, there’s a moss growing inside her? No. It’s a poetic way to describe your feelings. Maybe if you’re feeling angry and it feels as if there was smoke coming out from your ears. Metaphors are exactly like that. They don’t make sense but perfectly conveys your feelings. Kathleen Glasgow’s approach to using metaphors in this book is exceptional. It’s perfectly balanced so it’s not too overwhelming or too little. I am certain you’d love this book if you’re a metaphor person.

The story opens up with Charlie describing herself as baby harp seal because she’s all white from all of the bandages wrapped around her arms and thighs. We’re given a little backstory on how she ends up here; in a psychiatrist ward. A security guard found a barely conscious Charlie, who apparently has attempted to commit suicide and then left her on the lawn of Regions Hospital which she was taken in care of the psychiatrist ward, given her condition. Throughout her stay in the hospital, she meets Louisa – her roommate, one with the very pretty hair, Blue – the girl with the bad teeth and talks for the sake of talking, Casper – the orderly, Jen. S – short girl with battle scars all over her body, Francie – who cope by hurting herself with every method possible, Sasha – the one who cries a lot, and Linda – who goes by three names and wears grandma dresses. Here’s one thing they all have in common: they’re very, very sick inside. Days spent is therapy is all the same – where every moment is spoken for; the orderlies who keep tabs in every little you do, you know, in case you try to do something idiotic and that therapy session where stories are told and tears are spilled. Charlie hates being there, even if it’s safer than being outside because there’s really no difference. She’s slowly recovering, sure, but she’s still being haunted by her past. One of the many memorable quote in the book, as told by Casper, “our subconscious is spectacularly agile. Sometimes it knows when to take us away, as a kind of protection.” But Charlie never had protection, her subconscious does not protect her from all the times she’s been traumatized. She’s really broken inside. Charlie has kind of broken one of the rules at the ward when she sneakily e-mails a long, lost friend, Mikey. They catch up with each other, with Mikey mainly being surprised by the fact that Charlie is alive and well and tells her that he’s visiting town and asks her to put him on the visitor’s list so they can finally be reunited. It takes a while for Mikey to be able to contact Charlie. Apparently a mistake was made and Mikey’s name got lost somewhere in the visitor’s list or he wasn’t put down on the list at all so Mikey had to greet her from far away; he’s in the parking lot and Charlie, well, inside. It isn’t long until the hospital orderlies find about this ‘reunion’ of theirs and they chase Mikey down. Fast forward, Charlie is released from treatment and is set to move in with her mother, which is odd considering she abandoned her and never once claimed her while she’s in recovery. Charlie bids her farewell with the rest of the girls and the orderlies at the hospital and meets up with her mother. It would appear that the plan was never for her to move in with her mother but she’s going to be living alone. She moves to Tucson, Arizona where she stays at a place that Mikey rented out for himself but is never there and in Arizona is where her story really begins. She starts by finding herself a job which she does eventually get and tries to look for a place with cheap rent. She’s trying to start afresh. Her past? She’s trying to let that go. But, somehow, her problems: what she had to deal with in the past always managed to find their way back to her.