#excited for the other reworked tracks tbh this sounds so good!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

1ddiscourseoftheday · 4 years

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🚨Thurs 17 Dec ‘20🚨

No one will argue, this year has been the worst and I'm not really into that whole 'silver linings to bad things' bit, but... BUT! If the demise of live shows and rise of livestreams meant Zayn deciding to perform for us?! Well. I would be willing to reconsider my whole ass philosophy on life! Unfortunately, despite the excitement (or was it hysteria?) he inspired last night by getting all our hopes up, it might just be a music video? We'll see though. He definitely did register a new song, UNFXWITABLE (!), and then, and THEN: slid a single photo into his instagram story, a truly beautiful old baroque theater stage, fitted with live show speakers and a tantalizingly closed red curtain. The stage lights are on, the seats are empty... prepping for zomething?? It was discovered to be the St George Theater in Staten Island, very exciting, but today more video of them working on whatever they're working on surfaced (a snippet at the theater with a bit of an unknown song audible) that makes it seem more likely they're working on a music video than a livestream set up. Still, we can DREAM. At the very least we're getting a new song any minute now and at best-- Z3 and a video AND a liveztream?? (or prerecorded, that's FINE.) The pap pics the other day were him leaving a menswear boutique (sorry I said home, my bad, it was the usual 'front door to car' walk though) leading to speculation he was getting fitted for zomething zpecial... maybe we'll get to see it soon!

Likely on account of the added European show tickets going on sale today, Louis came online to check in, and also to laugh at old videos of himself, send larries into a tailspin, and best of all, weigh in on and shut down discourse left and right THANK YOU SIR! Louis is happy to walk us all through how not to get Live In London video taken down (“do it on a burner account haha?” tips from the master truly, no one would know better so listen to him); he denies having such an account himself (“maybe I should”) though unlike Liam (see below) HE doesn't go that extra step into obvious lie territory and say he's NEVER had one. On how he deals with comments about his height (which are up again these last few days due to a video circulating that uses math to conclude once again that he is in fact, as documented, 5'9”), “I rise above them,” he zings back, and in appreciation of someone who actually got the joke, “you're on my level,” DOUBLE PUNNING, BOOM but that's not all: he finishes off with the comment that finished ME off, “such a peculiar debate.” REALLY. Peculiar specifically, not like strange or weird or annoying you just... went right in for the Eroda copyrighted word huh. OKAY. Also: no, probably no collabs on LT2 (“doubt it”), yes he loves twitter “in doses, no better way to talk to you lot” (you mean even better than via t shirts?? sounds fake but okay), tells us he is “100% for sure” is gonna get the vaccine, and that “cucumber is shit” which isn't really a discourse we needed him to solve that I knew of but like, okay! Sorted! Antis seethed about him talking to larries and larry UAs and picking a video of him and H singing You and I to reply to, and probably cucumber enthusiasts and anti-vaxxers were unhappy too, but the rest of us? WINNING.

Liam is all over, first appearing in a fisherman's cap that nicely sets of his full and fluffy beard, then demonstrating answering questions for the Naughty List insta filter. He says he has never made a fake social media account, so I guess he's not lurking here reading these or I would guess that if I believed THAT for one second, he also says yes I have lied to my best friend so I'll just chose to believe he means us by 'best friend' since here he is, lying away. Dixie is absent from the recent promo, which is a blessing not just because they don't mesh particularly well but also because she's gotten even more terrible on main, moving from simply allying herself with racists to producing her own racist content- if we're lucky she'll simply fade away along with xmas and we can move on without any of that thank you very much. Liam is still a good BFF to us though: today he's offering himself up as prize in a raffle, you can enter to win a 'once in a lifetime VIP Experience in 2021 with Liam' for a low low £5, funds going to Stagehand's #ILoveLive campaign to support industry workers. And on the 17th day of christmas, my LP Advent Alarm woke me up with... Roman Kemp leading us through a weirdly peppy breathing exercise, backed with both soothing spa music and a sample of Liam's voice taken from the sleep story played over and over at near random intervals! I said it before and I'll say it again, they REALLY should have recorded all the material at once last month, but tbh I am enjoying the chaotic daily scramble to find something to put on the thing that's come of them being caught short maybe even more than I would normal content, it's getting downright experimental and I'm fully here for it. It's got that classic janky af for no reason 1D feel you know!

Rob Sheffield found better things to say about Watermelon Sugar, naming it his number one song of 2020 and calling it “a lost Stevie Nicks/ Stevie Wonder duet” plus gifting us a Harry quote: “that one we reworked a bunch of times, and it died a couple times, then it just kept coming back. We fully killed it a few times, but it kept coming back in. So I thought, There’s a reason it’s surviving.” And Chris Pine- who also says that he's all done shooting his part of Don't Worry Darling- said, “Harry Styles is an absolute delight. He's one of the most professional people I've ever met. Couldn't be kinder, more gracious, I mean, really, I was stunned by this kid. He's off-the-charts cool.”

And finally, as 2020 draws to a close we are being flooded with a barrage of our guys being declared winners of incredibly narrow categories (Harry on a list of 'groundbreaking magazine covers' for example), but I think the winner of MY list of 'Highly Specific Accolades' is sewn up for the year already; Heartbreak Weather is officially “the first [advertising] campaign to utilize weather-tracking technology to target content to users”! I'll definitely be keeping my eye out for competitors but beating that for reaching for a category will be TOUGH.

#zayn #zayn malik world domination!!#as they say on the twits #louis tomlinson #harry styles #niall horan #i guess #Dixie deets in intern's tags but I abstain on the basis that's she's irrelevant and soon to be history #but if you're looking for that full story head over to her reblog #note her url has changed!!#the intern is now 1DdotdHQ! A promotion!! you can still call her intern if you want but she also answers to Hot Oli #other HQs are welcome to join my internship program if they wanna learn a thing or two #working conditions are bad and pay is worse! get in!#so like I'm not suggesting Zayn would schedule his life around anything so silly but if he did a stream that HAPPENED to be before the end o #of the year #he would totally knock Louis out of his record holding spot? Like I don't want to see that specifically but #if that would tempt his petty ass maybe we should wave it as a motivator #don't think he wouldn't be able to either Louis said about his louies 'they never see us coming' and how right he is #but even the FANDOM never see the zquad coming and it is a FORCE and has even harries beat for sheer numbers #anyway #Roman Kemp's breathing exercise sounds like its led by Arthur Shappey #rich spirit #dixie d'amelio #roman kemp #Rob Sheffield #chris pine #this account is so weird the people who I'm like huh THAT person has a tag now on my 1D update account OKAY THEN #17 dec 20

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musicandmusing · 6 years

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Metanoia - Chapter 5

Description: Namjoon lives a double life, if you will. He teaches high school Literature and enjoys it. But in the safety of his apartment, he has his hobby, creating music under the pseudonym RM. His meddlesome friends push him where he stubbornly refuses to believe he can go and clings to the safety net he has created. But how strong can a safety net be when it’s full of holes?

Genre: Fluff and Angsty

Pairing: none, (Namjoon and his self-esteem?)

Word Count: 5k

Warnings: Swearing and drinking.

He could barely keep his hands from shaking in his adrenaline-induced craze to bring his broken dam of thoughts out before one of them could be lost in the flood of too much and not enough. Tae leaned so close now that he had pressed himself into Namjoon’s shoulder. Yet Namjoon still couldn’t feel bothered by the lack of personal space, so intent on tearing down his half completed work to rebuild it stronger than before.

A/N: This chapter has been sitting and waiting for a good day to post. It’s been done for months and I just haven’t hopped on a computer to get it posted and I apologize. TBH I’ve had a cursed week (car died, phone’s dying, hit my head at work) so it felt right to show myself all the hard work I’ve put into this story. It’s a bit of a technical chapter but it felt right. Enjoy! - Cinder

Previous Chapter - Next Chapter

I sit in darkness waiting for your storm

The flash of lightning quick as it fills the black that consumes me

I keep my eyes closed to keep me tethered to the reality of you

All shadows and bruises, cuts and rough edges, words sunk deep in my back

A broken rumble shakes my bones out of their slumber

Waking me up to a new view I can’t recognize

Your hands covered my eyes, blindly led by you

Your soft words rattled my heart and tilted my world

Chasing the white rabbit your fictitious words created, I fell through your looking glass

Missed the signs that shouted at me to turn back and listen to the reasons why I shouldn’t

He listened carefully to the sample he’d just added behind the first verse. Feeling unsure about the necessity of it, he muted the track and listened again. Half way through the verse he unmuted it so that the heavy synth beat loop came in on “a broken rumble” and Namjoon smiled. But now that he was building on the bass line with the synth, it felt a little... like he could add more. He went into a folder of his preferred samples and found some hi-hat options and a few snare effects he liked. If he spliced the snare and hi-hat options together, cutting the sound off in the middle and creating an off beat rhythm maybe it would give that sense of off-balance the verse needed. He caught his tongue in between his teeth as he set his plan into motion.

He was nearly done carefully crafting the somewhat complex concept in his editing software when his mattress dipped unexpectedly causing him to let out a less than manly squeal and lean harshly to the right. He whipped his head around to see what had caused the movement and his heart rate immediately began slowing back towards normal. He could only send his best withering stare at his asshole of a roommate who grinned wildly at him while Namjoon continued to clutch his laptop for dear life. Tae had already settled into his pillows like it was his own bed, propped against the headboard next to Namjoon and legs casually crossed in front of him with his left arm thrown across his stomach. Namjoon stared at Taehyung, not having quite recovered from the shock he’d received while Tae had the gall to just take his headphones wordlessly from him. He couldn't even bring himself to react when Tae slid the laptop from his lap and started clicking around, clearly starting the track in its incomplete state. Namjoon couldn’t bring himself to get upset at Tae’s absolute disrespect for his privacy and work preferences as he watched his roommate carefully listen to the track. Letting out an exasperated sigh, he sank into his pillows and stared at the ceiling in resignation.

The whole situation really wasn’t even that unusual. Taehyung had interrupted his work on songs before so it’s not exactly a problem that he was listening to the track unfinished. But he could’ve at least found another way of barging in rather than startling him some like horrible jumpscare in a B-list horror movie. Outside of his already reducing frustration for his friend, he patiently waited for the verdict. As he slowed his breathing into a rhythmic pattern, counting slowly while he waited, Tae began to hum. What surprised him was that the snippets were a melody separate from any existing part of the song. Tae seemed to search for the notes as he paused and Namjoon heard him click the trackpad, to presumably back up the track and try the line again.

Namjoon immediately wanted to pick Tae’s brain on his thoughts but he patiently waited out Tae’s own creative process as he worked his way through the song. He had an idea of what Tae might say though, a backing vocal line or even a duet would maybe add some additional emotional depth. He could already imagine it. Tae’s husky tone could compliment the lyrics in a way Namjoon couldn’t quite capture alone. When Tae finally pulled the headphones down around his neck, Namjoon wasn’t surprised by his first words since he’d crashed into the room.

“I think I can add some vocals to the track.” Namjoon turned his head to see Taehyung’s eyes were shining with barely contained excitement, looking the same as he had just hours before while secondhand shopping. Humming, Namjoon nodded in understanding of the rush of creative possibilities.

“I figured that’s what you were working out.” Tae scooted closer to Namjoon and pulled the laptop to sit more in between them. He started clicking around the trackbar, one headphone pulled over his left ear, clearly looking for a specific part of the song.

“Well I was thinking about adding a chorus-like sound here if you think that could work and maybe a doubling here...” Tae played the song and gestured to the portions of the sound waves displayed on the screen as he described his ideas.

Although Namjoon could just almost make out the music coming through the neglected right side of the headphones, he couldn’t hear the song and so Tae’s words made little sense. In these moments he needed the song in his ear, listening for the potential hidden within the notes already laid out. Namjoon stopped the track and unplugged the headphones, forcing Tae to remove them with a slight look of confusion. He plunged his hand under the pillows beneath his back until he felt the tangle of earbuds he was searching for and pulled them out. Gently, he placed one half of the earbuds into Tae’s right ear as he took the other and scrubbed back to the beginning of the track on the computer. At least he hadn’t added any panning yet so the sound would be completely balanced between the two of them.

“Show me.” He looked at Taehyung with a seriousness that had Tae sitting up straighter, losing the slouch he’d until then been sitting with and adjusting his earbud to sit just so. Tae’s eyes glazed into complete focus on the screen full of soundwaves as Namjoon started the song again. They listened through the song again and Tae sang the parts he had pointed out before. It was just a skeleton of the sound, no words yet, and no additional voices to fill the chorus sound he talked about but Namjoon heard the idea. His brain was filling in the sounds he knew he needed to round out the arrangement and the wheels began to turn.

It dawned on him this could be a full-fledged duet and pulled his notebook out from under the pillow Tae was leaned against and started analyzing the lyrics. He ignored the look Tae gave him for probably his questionable storage technique while he worked, judging by the timing. It was effective and sort of weird but who was he to judge. Tae certainly had plenty of weird habits that Namjoon was privy to but he let slide on an almost daily basis.

His first instinct was to begin by sectioning off the second verse, a possible echo, bouncing the words from himself to Tae. His brain had gone into complete hyperdrive, imagining the possibilities of different breakdowns to include a vocal part, determined to include it now that Tae had convinced him. How will the lyrics change with the vocals. Should the verse slow down to give Tae more time to sing the lines. If he did slow down the verse, would he extend the loops or add new material. On second thought no adding more material. Relooping what was already there should work. Somewhere in the back of his mind he registered Tae having crowded his space, leaning into his left shoulder with his head clearly in his peripheral but not enough in the way to disrupt the notes he made to accommodate the changes.

It was an adrenaline rush as he reworked and considered the changes in sound. The familiar heavy thrumming of his pulse took over the longer he dove into his work. He eventually decided to just give Tae the whole second verse and he would take the first verse. Then Tae would double him on the first chorus and they would split the second chorus into the bridge and then back into the repetition of the chorus with Tae backing while Namjoon covers the chorus alone.

You came through like a thunderstorm

You took me over and ran, ran, ran me down

Your symphony of sounds

Drowning out my reason

Gonna go take my shelter and weather your storm

He scribbled over all the original notes for the second verse and started noting his final ideas in bold strokes, solidifying his intention. Tae made a small noise of surprise but nothing that could shake Namjoon’s focus. It had only taken maybe five or so minutes to work it all out and he brought his laptop forward so he could start manipulating the track again. He began clicking around his recording program, sectioning off the areas of his recording where he needed to mute his raps in place of where Tae would sing. He could barely keep his hands from shaking in his adrenaline-induced craze to bring his broken dam of thoughts out before one of them could be lost in the flood of too much and not enough. Tae leaned so close now that he had pressed himself into Namjoon’s shoulder. Yet Namjoon still couldn’t feel bothered by the lack of personal space, so intent on tearing down his half completed work to rebuild it stronger than before.

“Tae grab me my MIDI controller.” Namjoon pointed blindly in the direction of the mini MIDI controller he knew sat on his desk to Tae’s left. Even in the chaos of his desk cluttered with loose papers, empty cans of various drinks, a few mugs of various rounds of coffee or tea, he knew the mini MIDI controller would be easy to spot. Namjoon could perfectly picture it sitting in it’s usual nearly neat nook where it barely managed to keep from tangling with a charging cable for his phone, his charging cable for his laptop, and another pair of earbuds. Tae clearly had no difficulty finding it as he was back on the bed in less than 30 seconds, navigating the disaster zone of his desk easily. He even had the forethought to wrap the cord around it.

Plugging it in, Namjoon started setting up as quickly as he could, wanting to continue running on his creative high with Tae’s now seemingly ever-present weight against his shoulder. His roommate continued to silently watch and, normally, Namjoon didn’t let Tae in when he was in the throes of writing and composing but as he was an integral part of the inspiration it felt too trivial to force him leave while he edited the song to fit the new structure.

He started adjusting the settings in his software, trying to find a synth tone to that would suit Tae’s somewhat rough timbre. It needed to be easy for Tae to hear so probably an alto range to double his baritone as his guide. They'd just make a first draft recording with his cheaper microphone that sat on the shelf above his desk. They could really get fancy another time when it wasn't possibly already the next day.

Recording at home was less than ideal but he didn't have the expendable income to go and rent a studio full time. Just a couple hours here or there was the best he could do for recording any audio clips he needed. Besides for the purposes of a rough draft he had enough cloth in his room to help dampen any reverb anyway, what with the thick carpet and long window curtains. The mic was good enough it wouldn't pick up too much else outside of whatever was directly in front of it anyway. He'd gotten it second hand so it hadn't even been too out of his budget.

Namjoon spent 30 minutes, give or take because he didn't really pay attention to the time while he was composing or producing, experimenting with the melody. Occasionally he would wait for Taehyung to give some input, a slight shake or nod of his head if he liked the changes made.

“Taehyung can you grab the mic?” While his roommate grabbed the microphone from his desk shelf, he swapped the earbuds back for the headphones so Tae could hear the song better. They swapped microphone for headphones and Tae settled into a cross-legged position next to the laptop while Namjoon set up the microphone quickly. He didn't have to tell Tae what was happening next. It was clear it was time to record. He didn't even ask for Tae's permission but if Tae hadn't wanted to be a part of this he should've said something when he saw the notes scribbled all around the pages of lyrics. To Tae’s credit, he took everything Namjoon threw at him with ease, not even slightly flustered as he was pushed into the metaphorical spotlight in the privacy of Namjoon’s bedroom.

He pressed play and waited. Namjoon could just hear the song playing as Tae kept one ear of the headphones cocked partially off his ear in order to hear himself better. A technique Namjoon had taught him which he had learned through trial and error. He held his breath as he watched his roommate inhale and focus on the guide Namjoon had just carefully crafted for him. He began to sing, his voice a little rough from the day but it gave grit to the lyrics. Namjoon slid his eyes shut and let the rough yet smooth timbre wash over him. He couldn’t stop the goosebumps and pounding of his heart if he tried.

The world a tinted yellow

The rain hits my face and I think it feels like you

It’s hard and soft, soothes and frustrates

It slides over my skin like your fingers trying to pull me closer

But I’m not sure I want to stand in this rain anymore

To be broken into an unfamiliar form, just the way you wanted

Melted into your desired shape, cracked and glued back into place

Nothing quite the same as before, I won’t be rearranged no more

Want to recognize myself when I look in the mirror

His voice perfectly captured the shattered kind of feeling Namjoon was trying to describe, the loss of your own self due to the destructive power of another. Although he hadn’t truly felt that loss but the feeling of losing himself was always on the precipice of his thoughts, always a worry that never quite let go, no matter how hard he tried to suppress it. Confronting it meant facing choices he didn’t want to second guess.

Taehyung had just finished the last line of the verse when his phone started vibrating angrily from his pocket, light shining through the thin fabric of his old sweats. He paused the recording and pulled out his noisy phone. Namjoon could see that Jimin was trying to FaceTime, a photo of him with Yeontan covering the lower half of his face filling the screen. Even with the poor lighting in the room, just the bedside table lamp and laptop filling the room with battling warm and cool tones, Tae answered. He angled the phone so that Jimin would get an unflatteringly close view of his nostrils as Jimin’s pixelated face filled the screen. Jimin was clearly in his own apartment, possibly in his bedroom judging by the multiple pillows he seemed to be leaning on.

“Hey Jiminie what’s up?” Tae repositioned the phone into a slightly more flattering angle as he moved back towards the bedside table lamp so he wasn’t washed in near darkness. Namjoon noted that Jimin had completely ignored the strange way Tae had answered the call, his face neutral as he spoke.

“You’re not in your room.” Jimin frowned at the screen, clearly confused. “Where are you? Are you busy?”

“I’m in Namjoon-hyung’s room.” Namjoon leaned in onto his roommate’s shoulder so that he came into frame and gave a little wave that Jimin returned. “We were working on a song.”

“Oh! Can I listen to it?” The screen blurred as Jimin seemed to shoot up from his relaxed position and the volume at which Jimin had exclaimed startled both Tae and Namjoon into knocking their heads together. As the video refocused, he was clearly waiting like an excitable puppy for a treat and sat in anticipation against the wall he’d been casually leaned against previously. Namjoon glared at Jimin while rubbing the top of his head, although he was pretty sure he wasn’t in shot anymore as Tae settled back against the headboard again. He grabbed the phone to pull himself into frame again to respond to Jimin’s over-enthusiastic question.

“It’s still in the works. We just made some major changes.”

“I have a great idea then.” Namjoon raised an eyebrow and Tae leaned closer to the phone, as if he’d be able to hear Jimin. Even though the only thing that could possibly cover the sound of Jimin’s clear voice was the low hum of the heating in his room and the muffled sounds of the occasional car driving by their apartment building. “I was going to suggest it before. I’ve been playing some of your stuff to the producer I usually work with. He’s co-written a bunch of my stuff and I really like working with him. He’s super talented.”

Namjoon would say that Jimin is super talented too because he co-wrote a lot of his own music and can dance the pants off a koala but he kept his mouth shut. Jimin was clearly on a verbal roll and he didn’t want to interrupt him or turn down his plans, yet. Although he’d have to hold his tongue about playing his music for everyone and their cousin like some proud parent.

“I have a session with him tomorrow and you should come and get his opinion. Might have some interesting suggestions.” Jimin finished excitedly, beginning to slowly rock side to side and causing the video to sway. Namjoon opened his mouth to ask more questions about what he meant by ‘get his opinion’ and ‘interesting suggestions’ but his roommate butted in.

“Is that the grumpy guy you work with?”

“He’s not grumpy!” Jimin pouted at the screen, thankfully stopping his swaying in his effort to look put out. “He’s just tired most of the time. He pulls a lot of extra hours.”

Namjoon turned to Tae with a look that hopefully portrayed his distinct lack of understanding where this conversation had just made a sharp left. Tae just rolled his eyes and clarified his statement to Namjoon, pointedly ignoring Jimin’s pouting face. “I’ve met him a few times while sitting in on Jimin’s recording sessions. He’s like a cranky cat. Should have a sign saying ‘Do not touch.’”

“He’s nice.” At Tae’s incredulous expression to his boss, Jimin huffed. “I think I’m making progress befriending him.”

“Jimin. You call him your friend but he pretends he doesn’t hear you.” Namjoon raised both eyebrows at this and watched the exchange unfold like a tennis match, eyes shifting from Jimin on the screen to Taehyung next to him.

“Yeah but he always gives me appropriate breaks before I even say I need one and his constructive feedback is always helpful. He’s never rude when I make mistakes. He always has the mini fridge stocked with bottled water.” Jimin defended, clearly offended with Tae’s brush with the truth. At least Namjoon, assumed it must’ve been the truth since Jimin didn’t deny it.

“Sounds normal to me.” Tae said flatly while inspecting the fingernails of his unoccupied left hand while Jimin scoffed in retort. Namjoon felt like they had definitely forgotten he was even there. The experience was turning out to be incredibly enlightening though. He’d seen them interact in person quite a few times now but didn’t usually hear much of their conversations over FaceTime because he was not a nosy friend. Well, okay, a little nosy but he never went out of his way to be nosy. It was like they’d been friends for as long as he and Tae had known each other, the way they bickered. He let them forget his existence for the sake of his curiosity.

“Right! That’s progress! He used to not make eye contact at all!” Well that’s a bit strange, Namjoon thought. Not making eye contact at all? If he went in to meet this guy, he hoped he’d actually get some feedback, which sounded dubious from what he was hearing so far.

“Yes.” Tae just rolled his eyes. “Progress.”

“You do not roll your eyes at me young man!” Jimin’s voice hitched up a few pitches in his indignation at Taehyung’s antics. This was fairly familiar territory for Namjoon, scooting slightly further away from the phone for the impending shouting that was coming. He hoped his neighbors slept like the dead.

“You are only a FEW MONTHS OLDER.”

“You will NOT DISRESPECT ME, KIM TAEHYUNG!”

Namjoon could only see this going downhill from here if he didn’t intervene soon. He had to say that they certainly didn’t let the separation of a screen stop them from squabbling like two angry parakeets. Better to cut them off before there could be any serious repercussions. Like noise complaints. He’d like to keep his clear track record with the landlord.

“So what time should I show up tomorrow?” He plopped his head onto Tae’s stiff shoulder and whatever the two had been ready to throw at each other evidently died in their throats. Jimin’s eyes widened in surprise seeing Namjoon suddenly appear in frame and sat still for about ten seconds before he seemed to register Namjoon’s question. Namjoon had been planning to ask a few more questions about this producer but this would be a once in a lifetime opportunity to get an unbiased opinion on his music. Until… Unless he was signed. And if that happened, then he’d probably get a lot more opinions than he needed.

Jimin’s face turned from ready to kick ass to delighted so fast it gave Namjoon mental whiplash. “Tae will be able to bring you along. He’s supposed to come work on sketches for the music video while I’m recording. You can sit in while I work and see what he’s like.” The swaying of the screen started again and Namjoon tried not to feel motion sick from Jimin’s inability to control his physical manifestation of his emotions. Jimin looked at Namjoon expectantly as he leaned from one side to the other, head tilted slightly to follow his body’s momentum as he waited.

“Are you going to let him know I’m coming?” Namjoon questioned slowly when Jimin didn’t say anymore. If the guy was like a cranky cat, Namjoon would rather not make a negative first impression by crashing a recording session. He didn’t need any scratches.

“I guess I should do that shouldn’t I.” Jimin mumbled as his video cut out and the artificial sound of quick keyboard clicks crowded the small speaker of Taehyung’s phone. Tae had yet to make any comment, his frustration with Jimin apparently deflated from the reminder of the original purpose of the conversation about the producer. The two of them waited, holding very still when the clicking suddenly paused but Jimin didn’t come back. Tae shifted his legs from their crossed position to stretch them out and wiggle his toes and Namjoon continued to lean against him, staying as quiet as possible to not miss anything. Finally they hear a distorted buzz but the idol still didn’t say anything and Namjoon deflated, hoping this wouldn’t take too much longer. To pass the stretching time, he fiddled with the knobs on his MIDI controller, twisting one back and forth around the original position before moving on to another. The sharp sound of clicking filled the silence again and Namjoon couldn’t help but release a sigh, settling in to wait for a while.

They both startled when Jimin’s face finally popped back up on the screen, a big smile on his face. At least this time they hadn’t hit their heads together. “He’s cool with it.”

Namjoon smiled and gave a silent thumbs up, deciding to hold off on any other questions for now. He’d rather mentally prepare for presenting his stuff to a real producer. With a wave and a brief goodbye, he ducked out of Tae’s personal space and opened up a document on his laptop to begin a checklist. His creative high had definitely disappeared by this point but now was replaced with a simmering nervous energy as he typed out what he would want to bring tomorrow. Focus renewed, he didn’t even manage to acknowledge Tae as he left his room to wrap up his conversation with Jimin, only half hearing something about what they wanted to cover tomorrow but tuning out any more than that.

In his effort to make sure nothing would be accidentally left behind as he tended to do when packing, he didn’t register Tae’s sign off with Jimin. The next thing Namjoon picked up was the thundering footsteps towards him and looked up in time to see Tae mid-leap, throwing himself at the space he had just recently vacated. Namjoon quickly pulled his laptop and MIDI controller to his right so Tae couldn’t possibly break them but with his hasty movements meant his phone launched across the bed and at his dresser. All he could do was watch as the corner of his phone case smacked the front of a dresser drawer and land on the floor with a dull thunk. Tae bounced into the bed and Namjoon couldn’t even face him but he knew that his roommate was fully aware of the potentially destructive scene he’d just caused.

After a few beats of silence, he slowly turned towards his still frozen roommate, his frustration taking over his nerves. Tae refused to make eye contact as he looked to where the phone had landed. Eventually he hesitantly met Namjoon’s eyes and flinched because Tae may be many things - hyperactive, nosy, meddling, spoiled, air-headed, brilliant - but destructive was usually not an adjective attached to him.

“Go get it.” Namjoon demanded, not willing to look at the state of his phone, and Taehyung had the sense to not question him and rushed over to go pick up the phone. This phone had yet to sustain any damage to the screen, with the help of some heavy duty screen protectors, and Namjoon was not having his new record ruined from his best friend’s stupidity.

Tae cautiously and slowly turned over the phone, clearly just as worried that something may have happened. Namjoon almost felt the need to cover his eyes so as not to see the damage from the bed but his morbid curiosity kept his hands firmly planted on either side of his body, palms pushed against the mattress. When Tae had crouched with the phone for a good 15 seconds, Namjoon decided to clear his throat and snap him out of whatever daze he was in. His roommate finally clicked the power button to light up the lock screen. A triumphant smile spread across his face as he proudly showed off the phone.

“No cracks!” The air Namjoon had been subconsciously holding in released all at once like a popped balloon.

“You are incredibly lucky, you excuse of a friend.” He glared at Taehyung but there was no heat behind it, more relieved that he wouldn’t be replacing his phone yet. But Tae suddenly moved like he was going to chuck Namjoon’s phone at him, frowning, and Namjoon shielded his face in fear. Only seconds later Taehyung was full out laughing, making Namjoon glare at his roommate as he came back and sat next to Namjoon once more. He dropped the phone safely into the space between them. Namjoon could only manage to smack Tae’s arm in a half-hearted attempt at a silent reprimand as they sank back into a comfortable quiet.

“This is really happening.” Namjoon stared at the wall in front of him, photos of his family and friends, mostly Tae and Jin, covering a large portion of it. He lingered on the ones from his college graduation, the one of his parents grinning as he stood between them with his diploma proudly displayed. Next he looked at one of Jin, Tae, and himself all crowded in a photobooth making the most ridiculous faces they could, aegyo and just general silliness, from the time they had gone to the beach together. Namjoon remembered breaking his sunglasses thirty minutes into the road trip and neither of his friends would let him hold anything of value for the rest of the trip. He’d also almost lost his wallet and frantically had turned over the hotel room they’d stayed in only to find it sitting in his shoe. He was pretty sure Tae had done that just to get back at him for stealing his earbuds and then promptly losing them. He’d later found them in a pants pocket but only after they’d gone through the washing machine.

Tae nudged his shoulder and Namjoon looked at his friend, sure he was unable to hide the uncertainty he felt.

“Yup. You’re really meeting a producer tomorrow. You’re getting professional advice on your demo tomorrow. And I’ll be there with you. And Jimin too.” His small smile helped soothe some of the nerves that sat next to his uncertainty, the two trying to create a monster of anxiety. “You’ve got this. Wanna finish the song?”

A glance at the clock on his laptop read half past midnight but Namjoon couldn’t help but smile back. He looked back at the wall of photos, settling on two he’d recently added. A selfie of his closest friends and himself at karaoke, clearly in the middle of belting whatever song had been on, sat taped next to another from Jimin of the three of them, all crowded on the couch just out in the living room together laughing as Jimin gave the camera a less than impressed look.

“Yeah. Let’s do this.”

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lotrewrite · 7 years

Text

Well, here’s my comments! Feel free to message me with any questions or for clarification of anything

Overall, this is really solid you guys.

The biggest issue is just fleshing some of the episodes out a bit. Character arcs are nicely done and the character stuff is spread out surprisingly well. In general, I think there’s a little more focus on Mick and Len than the others, and Amaya could probably be given a slightly larger role, but overall I’m impressed. Writing a team and giving them all equal focus is really hard. I’m so excited this is already so good

(Also like three of these episodes are set in times/places related to special interests I’ve had over the years so if I start getting caught up in historical details that’s why)

I haven’t looked at other people’s feedback yet, cause I didn’t want to be influenced so sorry if I’m just repeating stuff

LOTREWRITE: Yay, more comments! Sorry about the delay in posting these, all!

Episode 1:

- I love the opening sequence with Kendra A+

- How has Nate’s pencil lasted so long? It has to be at least 20 years old, right? A pen might be more plausible but have the same basic narrative effect. If you’re keeping the dog tags bit from the original though it might be best to cut it the reference to it being from his grandfather entirely or have it be a replica or something. Best to focus on a single sentimental object.

- The banter is flawless and in character. Nice!

- Thawne’s explanation is a bit of an infodump. That’s gonna need to be reworked into more of a dialogue, at the very least. It would probably be better to show it somehow. Maybe show the Black Flash appearing a few seconds after Thawne leaves, then disappearing just as quickly? Darhk can research it on his own and then explain it to someone later, for those viewers who aren’t familiar with the concept from The Flash.

- “Damien Darhk?” Stein asks. “As in –” “The man who murdered your sister,” Rip says. I assume we’re talking about Laurel, but this makes it sound like Darhk murdered Stein’s sister.

- “I never did” Talk about OUCH. This is amazing.

Episode 2

- Some clarification on when and where “the infirmary” is would be good, as well as what Jax and Stein’s history here is, but I figure that will be added as this is fleshed out

- Same with “decision makers”

- I vote yes on “not drinking and driving” quip that’s excellent

- Bambi is adorable

- Make sure when you’re researching the crusades to look at things from multiple perspectives. This seems like it could very easily fall into a very generic “Good Christians” vs “Evil non-Christians” crusade narrative and that’s… less than ideal. There was a lot of politics surrounding the crusades, even if you’re just focusing on the Christians. That might also help provide a motive for your dissenter? Someone who thinks these soldiers should be back at home looking after things there instead of invading a foreign nation to secure power and riches for the church? Someone who’s been convinced that the crusaders have no divine right to this land and that they should leave it to the people who actually live there? Could maybe be a place to start setting up some doing what’s “right” vs doing what’s supposed to happen conflict? This is obviously just an outline so maybe you’re already planning something like that but I figured I’d mention it

- I’m a fan of Bambi not dying

- I love Firestorm as an angel that’s an amazing idea in so many ways A++++

- Mick roasting a T-Rex with his gun heck yeah

Episode 3:

- I love Sara’s canary pendant

- Continuity issue: in episode 1, Mick punches Rex and that’s about the extent of their interaction. Not much of a basis for the trust he seems to be showing in this ep.

LOTREWRITE: Possibly we could make it more explicit that Rex noticed that the bomb the JSA were tracking was discharged harmlessly after Mick said he went after it, thus the trust?

- Yay for bi Sara!

- The Sara and Amaya scene sounds like it’s gonna be so cute

- Ray’s speech to Nate about heroism is really solid

- I see now why it’s a pencil, but I’m still not loving the idea. Does it just magically never get not sharpened? Has Nate never noticed? Does he sharpen it and lose tiny fragments of the spear every time? Am I being too nitpicky?

- Love the mention of non-fighting military personnel

- Mick is starting to feel like he’s taking over the story a little too much here maybe, especially considering that he’s been the most major character in the previous episodes as well, while Jax and Stein seem almost nonexistent. Nate could probably have a little more prominence given that this is his big reveal episode.

Episode 4

- Might want to give a quick rundown of some basics about Chernobyl in the finished episode for audiences unfamiliar with the history. I had to look it up because I thought it happened years later and was very confused.

- Give some reason for why Stein’s actions were changed from the original timeline. Is Darhk’s presence there already changing things?

- What do you mean by Jax can “safely detonate” the bomb? Is there some reason he and Stein can’t Firestorm up and transfigure it? I don’t recall Jax being a particular expert in bombs previous to this.

- The Stein and Clarissa storyline is very very good

- Sara and Mick (not) talking about their shared grief Thank You

- Sara seems rather quick to trust Eobard. She knows it’s a speedster who killed Rex, right? Nevermind. She still seems very quick to trust for a former assassin.

- Maybe avoid Eobard villain monologuing? He has no reason to.

- Doesn’t the Black Flash only come after the speedsters, not anyone whose death is changed by time travel? iirc, both Cisco and Barry’s mother were brought back to life by Barry changing the timeline at one time or another and neither were targeted. There may be extenuating circumstances I’m forgetting though…

- Sara and Laurel’s storyline is really touching and sweet

- LISA!!!!!!

Episode 5

- I’m loving the mix of historically accurate costumes and especially Mick

- Crew interacting with Vikings is great and in character

- Jax and Gunlød’s relationship is really cute

- The funeral for Len and the others they’ve lost is fantastic

Episode 6

- Eobard and Darhk banter already sounds like it’s gonna be great

- How’s Lisa getting in? nevermind, that’s answered

- The image of Len doing anything “emphatically” is kinda cracking me up. A look or something would probably be more in character.

- Vampiric octopuses omg please have a flashback here

- Building of tension for the break-in is excellently done. A bit cliché, but in a good way.

- Lisa’s fury is great.

Episode 7:

- Oa?

- Independence Day banter is really fun

- Lisa/Cisco scene is YES

- “justified” I see what you did there

Episode 8:

- Remember to introduce Constantine etc to audiences who might not be familiar with them

- Are you going to show Mick vanishing or just have him suddenly no longer be there? Related: does he leave and then get beaten up or get taken out while with the rest of them? Does the audience know he’s telling the truth or will there be some room for them to wonder?

- HARLEY/IVY YESSSSS

- I’m assuming Booster is Booster Gold, yes? Do we get him in this season?! Okay coming back, we don’t. It’s a nice shoutout for those who know, but the prominence it’s given implies it will be relevant.

- Clarify who Resurrection Crusade are

Episode 9:

- Sara’s disguise for the Christmas party isn’t specified

- This might be an issue with the original version of the episode as well, but the colonies were in open rebellion against the British crown and GW probably wouldn’t expect honorable treatment or a prisoner exchange if captured. He was openly committing treason in the eyes of the British army.

- Ray navigating with one boot is hilarious and wonderful

- Would soldiers from the pre-telephone era be able to adjust well enough in one night to work with a comm? Guns they at least have experience with. Tiny devices that let them talk to each other through long distances might be a bit pushing it. Or I might be getting too nitpicky.

- The whole massacre plot needs some work tbh. How does Jax and Amaya knocking out a total of three soldiers stop a full massacre? How many were there? How did the soldiers feel about it? Sneak attacks on innocent (white) civilians weren’t really a common part of warfare at the time. Some or all of the villagers would have supported the British or at least pretended to. Not to mention the British soldiers were probably occupying the nearest village. Village sounds really feudal I’m thinking town might be more appropriate okay I’m definitely getting too nitpicky

- End scene is great

Episode 10:

- Ray’s pirate persona is gold

- Why do they ask Jax for his name first? (or do they?)

- Foreshadowing Rip joining the other side? Neat

- Looks like this just needs more details for the climactic battle then you’ll be good

Episode 11:

- The opening is so good

- Adorable engineering duo yes good

- So does the Greenpeace member know about the explosion? How?

- This episode feels a bit short? It’s focused on a single plot that gets resolved relatively straightforwardly. Maybe add subplot(s) and/or throw a wrench in things somewhere?

Episode 12:

- A little hard to follow at first but I think it’s supposed to be

- Does Mick say “who’s Grace?”? That seems to imply that he recognizes the other names.

- This has the potential to be really creepy I like it

- Can Rip be incorporated into this somehow? Or not necessarily be incorporated as the character, but at least mentioned? It feels relevant, since he had the closest relationship to Gideon

Episode 13:

- Could Legion!Len’s reveal be moved? If he’s not heavily involved in the Legion’s main plot for this ep, the previous ep would probably work better with a single big reveal (that oculus!Len is not just a hallucination) rather than two back to back. There could be mentions of a new Legion member (Darhk and Eo discussing Legends in Argentina “We’ll let the new guy handle them,” following orders from him, etc), without Len being revealed until he’s revealed to the Legends, or the end of this episode.

- Really good moral quandaries here.

- You could probably do something with the fact that the team (presumably intentionally) imitates oppressive government agents to get away with kidnapping, even if it is for a good cause. That’s gotta make them uncomfortable. (Mick seems like he’d probably be the most chill with it, Jax seems like he’d be really uncomfortable, and I could see Stein going either way.)

- Maybe include one or more OCs or historical figures in a major role to add a human element to the conflict

Episode 14:

- How does Rip find out? Does he already know?

- So is the thing on the throne not the spear piece?

- Tudor jewelry would probably not involve wood. They were big on showy jewels and metals. Maybe it’s in a fancy locket and rumored to hold part of the cross or something? You could have Anne make some sort of joke about how it’s probably fake. Artifacts like that were very common and almost never what they claimed to be.

- Henry’s feeling a little flat here, but that might just be the outline format

- This is another one that could use a subplot or two

- MICK BURNS DOWN THE GLOBE I LOVE IT

Episode 15:

- I like the option of Hex reacting badly to Rip

- Carter and Kendra cameo is really neat

- Continuity error: Len leaves and then says something in scene 6

LOTREWRITE: Len probably shouldn't leave since he has a big leaving sequence in the next episode

- Lots of good stuff here

- Make sure Lily stuff lines up with the following episode

LOTREWRITE: Lily should probably show up and have the argument with Stein in this episode, since the next one is very crowded

Episode 16:

- Make sure Lily stuff lines up with previous episode

- Bart Allen is from around this time period too. Can he cameo somehow?

- I love this entire concept

- All the hostages taken are women. Is there specific reasoning behind this? If not, maybe reconsider hostage choices

- So Lily is volunteering to be a hostage, not switch sides? That was a little unclear.

- I love the Monty Python joke. But it might be a little too anvil-y? Maybe change the wording from “what is your favorite color?” to “pick a color”?

- How are the trials being administered? Verbally with spoken answers? Touchscreen? Fancy buttons?

Episode 17:

- Cameo suggestion: A young Selina Kyle. The joke is that the found family she’s talking about consists entirely of cats. This can either be revealed to Jax via innocuous comment that wouldn’t make sense if referring to a human (something about litter boxes?) or revealed to the audience later when she looks at a picture in her wallet or something.

- I love Legion!Len being fed up this is a Good Scene

- The Legends make him cake aww

- That ending man

- Another episode that could use a bit of fleshing out. A little focus on what the other Legends are doing specifically might be enough.

Episode 18:

- Love the cold open

- Kendra cameo!

- Why would putting Ray in a toga convince the guard to let him pass?

- I’d add a subplot or a lot more happening at the gladiator fight. Does Darhk attempt to cheat? How does Sara counter that? Is she tempted to kill him? Maybe she could have a scene before or after where she talks to someone about her past with the League of Assassins and how sometimes she still has to fight those instincts? Even though she saved Laurel, he still almost killed her and Laurel is still almost completely out of reach for Sara so there’s got to be some pent-up anger there.

Episode 19:

- HI YES YOU’RE INCLUDING MORDRED LET ME LOVE YOU

- I can tell that you know your Arthurian legend or at least did some research this makes me so happy the Camelot episode was disappointingly generic in the official season but this is so much better

- MICK AND MORDRED TALKING ABOUT BEING TRUE TO YOURSELF I HAVE ASCENDED

- Yeah sorry I should have more constructive criticism but my brain kinda just starts screaming in delight at any mention of Mordred so just know that you did a good and there aren’t any glaring plot inconsistencies

Episode 20:

- Snart is totally dedicated to his theme enough to take Antarctica let’s be honest

- I believe there was a reference in a much earlier episode to Harley and Ivy both not returning someone’s calls. Did Harley do something to get back into the Legion’s good graces or…?

- Ted Kord :D

- This just needs more detail, in non-Len-related scenes in particular, which will presumably come with the full thing

Episode 21:

- How is Rip rescued?

- How does Ray contact GL and SS? Also, being in space shouldn’t keep them from being influenced by timeline change, since they’d still be within the bounds of time

- BATFAM!! (I was gonna say that it was surprising no one changed things to keep them from being vigilantes, but that could be because they have secret identities and none of the LoD knows who they are) (Also are you going to include Oracle? You might be able to tie her into Ray’s character arc, since she’s a superhero who not only doesn’t have powers, but is physically disabled.)

- How are you showing the spear going “fuck this“?

- Wait is the implication that pre-doomworld didn’t have Batman or was pre-Batman? Because the gameshow ep mentioned him in one of the trials

- I’m not sure about Sara being the one to throw Mick out. She is a former assassin, and she gave spear pieces to Thawne to save her sister earlier in the season. Seems like she would be among the more lenient. There should at least be some clarification of why. Maybe she’s upset because she was forced back into being an assassin?

Episode 22:

- “proper Time Master captain” ouch

- Sara’s scene with Laurel is lovely

- Why would Ray blow up if he touched the spear?

- “He holds up Cisco’s communication device with the” Finish this sentence

- LEN!!!

- This is a good ending

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