#executive dysfunction explode
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crazy to me that some people can just do the things they want to do. what magic is in their blood and can I have it
#you can read the book that you have access to and enjoy???? witch craft.#executive dysfunction explode#marcia's memoir#adhd
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PSYNCIN' IN THE TRaiN: An AI: The Somnium Files Fan Project
Participate in the game on my twitter! Full spoilers for AItSF and AINI
Hello everyone! This is what I've been working on for 2 years and the reason why I'm inactive here 🥹 I put a lot of love into this and am now aiming to finish it before No Sleep releases so please check it out!
#it is going at a record breaking snails pace bc of external factors like art school and also executive dysfunction ngl#but this project has taken over my brain and i will explode if i cant get it out as soon as possible#anyone excited for no sleep? hehe....#ai the somnium files#aitsf#nirvana initiative#aini#aiba aitsf#chip art
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crappy screenshotted doodle MOTIVATION AND GOOD VIBES
THANK YOUU I now have the motivation to do EVERYTHING‼️
#hj because I did do a bit of work yesterday but also my executive dysfunction wants me to explode so badly#ask#your chao drawings are ADORABLE#edgyhedgie#not my art
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there are, as best I can tell, two grave advice sins that you can commit when giving advice that will render whatever you're saying useless and probably make people think you're a dick.
"I don't have this problem, and I've never had this problem, but I'm pretty sure this is how you should be solving this problem"
"I had this problem and solved it this way, and that means EVERYONE can solve it this way and it's the One True Solution."
The first means you're uninformed on the realities of the problem and there's a 90% chance whatever is going to fall out of your mouth has already been tried or has already been recommended a billion times. It doesn't matter if you read it online or heard someone else recommend it, unless you're asking the person about the variables in their situation first and really getting into the nitty gritty, you're probably just sounding like a pre-recorded flight safety message. Thank you for telling me how to buckle up and where the exits are, but nobody here is really explaining what I'm supposed to do about the clown with a chainsaw in the fourth row.
The second one is extra annoying because you could have given good, actionable advice if you'd actually thought longer about it than "problem solved, this is the answer to the math test, byeeeee". Motherfucker what we needed were the notes you used to arrive at the answer. Show your work. Because somebody else might be working with completely different variables, and if you hand them "the answer is 2" when they have a different number set, you're just handing them failure. If you hand them the equation, however, then they can apply some of it to their own problem and arrive at their own correct solution. For instance, if acknowledging a negative thought reduces it's effectiveness, the advice isn't necessarily "just accept the thought and move on!" it's examining *why* that acceptance helped. Perhaps because it removed guilt from the equation, meaning you were carrying one less thing while you tried to move forward? Great! That's useful! Someone can go "okay, what about this is making me feel guilty and what can I do to feel less guilty?" and then they have a workable approach.
Even just making the space for the fact that your solution is not the Only Solution can help fix either of these. Expand ur minds. Accept that the myriad of human circumstance will mean that we're all working with a different starting, middle, and end point.
#lol nothing really prompted this I've just had it rattling around my head all day#and wanted to get the words out#okay maybe I read a book that suggested just “acknowledging your executive dysfunction and then doing the task anyways” was a solution#and I wanted to explode because THANKS MAN I NEVER THOUGHT OF JUST NOT HAVING PROBLEMS AS THE SOLUTION TO MY PROBLEMS#and as best I could tell the author falls into one of the two sin categories above#boy so much bad advice circles around these#advice on advice
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have to go back to the embassy tomorrow and i would so deeply love to walk into the ocean
#if they say there was a problem with the visa i am going to genuinely explode#for those who may not be aware i am going to japan on monday for a year abroad as part of my degree#and i am absolutely terrified lmao#not necessarily of japan just of living alone on the other side of the world yk#there have already been a million problems with this fucking visa application and if they reject me now there is literally no way i will be#able to get it in time bc it takes 5 working days#god. i am deep in the executive dysfunction and generally in the grip of insanity so do excuse my inactivity#i am not having a Great Time rn but we continue to move#i say it a lot but it actually is a very helpful part of a life philosophy. THE ONLY WAY OVER IS THROUGH#i guess this would be a#cw vent
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Thinking. About void. He likes to read. He can't do it for too long at a time since it strains his damaged socket and gives him a headache, but i can imagine, whenever he gets really invested in a book. The tip of his tail will twitch and still and curl in a reflection of his emotions. Same thing probably happens with movies, or just really anything he gets immersed in. His markings might even shift slightly if he’s super invested. Widening slightly in surprise, fuzzing at the edges with happiness, sharpening with tension.
He's always so stoic, but the tells are there. He’s a lot more expressive than he might seem at first.
#politely begging my executive dysfunction to function just a little bit so i can do things please please please#crying and writhing and exploding#sunny with clouds#sun spots#vf void
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one day ill be annoying ab my selfship again . although i enjoy that ppl enjoy my writing most of this is entirely self indulgent, projection, and for me . being so real .
#wispy chatters#i will never write inbox requests ever again ( /j... but only maybe executive dysfunction hits. )#( i dont know what to rlly write or hc w steven anymore and im in that weird kind of clingy to my interp era where like.#nobody seems to characterize steven right and i feel like im the only one but i dont wanna be a dick but most of its self indulgent so#ill keep it to myself. )#also bc i think i like. already put out all of the imporant steven hcs anyways LOL#ALSO also because ive been busy writing and rping selfship stuff w my friend involving steven instead of writing proper. which#preferable. this was mostly a side hobby to explode all of my hcs onto while i was struggling mentally#and had jack shit else to do.#sorry that i ramble a lot. no im not. this is my fucking blog . But yea#ive also been kind of negative or like. able to be interpreted as negative recently. which. yea kind of#lot of things and interpretations i do not fucking like in this fandom esp ab steven i just keep it to myself.#i just dont like fandom in general esp fanon and steven is such a fanonized character. which. yea he doesnt have much to work with#but hes got enough. idk#life goes on and all . maybe ill make a selfship blog... ill probably snag the url and then never use it.#im talking like im quitting the blog . i do that a lot. im not i just always do whatever i like even if i have 500 unanswered asks.#was easier to focus on writing any char i could in my depression era#its a little sad to see writing and hc posts and im like... i could get in on that. people totally think im a dead blog.#but idk what to add all of the main steven stuff has been squoze outta me.#not entirely but i put my full 100% steven into my self indulgent embarassing thoughts.#buuut yea thats kinda whats been. going on w me ig? Not really? fuck if i know
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You ever just need to do a task but you feel like EVERY SINGLE ATOM of your body IS COMPLETELY UTTERLY REPULSED by even a thought of doing said task or even a part of said task
so you just sit there staring at it
knowing it will end only badly if you do not do it
but you feel like you are physically unable to do it
yeah :(
#executive dysfunction#adhd#vent#i hate making presentations i hate it i hate it i hate essays i hate them so fucking much i cannot organize anything for shit i cannot focu#i could be having fun and or doing sometging significant but i have to write these STUPID THINGS I DOING GIVE MUCH SHIT ABOUT#AND WILL NOT DO ANYTHING IN THE LONG RUN ITS POINTLESS I CANT FOCUS AT ALL JUST THE THOUGHT OF SITTING DOWN AND FOCUSING ON IT MAKES ME WAN#TO EXPLODE I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT#I CANT DO THIS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD#ripping my hair out would be a much more enjoyable worthwhile activity than doing this shit#i know this is nothing i know im being lazy and shit i know there are billions of worse things out there i know i know i know i know i swear#i fucking know but i cannot fucking do this
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ah lads not again
#ive suddenly been hit with a stopsign of i want to explode forever and ever and ever forever#my body hurds my soul hurds im yearning and my executives are dysfunctional uts so over#im gonna go angry scribble and angry play vidygame until i feel batter#i miss my family [<- guy eho literally hates his family]#bad end
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"im gonna connect to this conference via zoom so i can work while i listen"
i did jack shit instead
#talking to myself#task failed succesfully#just frustrated myself about oc stuff again#I NEED TO CHANNEL THAT INTO WORK#BUT IM JUST#UHHH EXECUTIVE DYSFUNCTION#(explodes)
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I would like to draw the Great God Grove characters again, yes. I will be honest that last drawing I drew with the meteor was pretty much the only thing I drew in the past month. It's been hard, folks. But I really would like to draw these characters again, I want to, I had a lot of fun with all of the big steam illustrations and feel I have a lot more I want to draw. Executive dysfunction is evil and I hope I can draw without exploding into ashes soon. I see how much love and passion you guys have for the characters and I really want to continue to pay that back in some way.
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It took me 2 days to read all of "in my life i love you more" which is longer than it takes me to read any fanfic because usually I just skim read. This one, I took my time and I freaking dissected that thang. Its beautiful!!!!! I love it so much bro omg (loud,obnoxious sobbing noises)
I love the fact that the language you use in it had me looking up so many words, you had me expand my vocabulary. And it also goes with how he'd think and talk its so cool omg
And then thespius: OUGHHHH THAT GUY AUGHHHHHHH
AND THEN THE WORDS FOR HUZZLEMUG !!!
*explodes you with my mind because im too excited*
WAA i have finally escaped the executive dysfunction mines long enough to respond to this, thank you so much!! qwq i'm so flattered to hear that you took your time w my lil fic, over time it's come to mean a lot to me both in its self-indulgence and how much folks have enjoyed it <33
also i was goin through my procreate folder today and realized i never posted this guy lmao, take the them for your kind and lovely words uwu
#great god grove#doot answers#ggg thespius#ggg click clack#thespius green#click clack#ggg in my life#don't look at thespius's chest for too long#clearly i was in a Mood when i drew this one lmao
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AND THEN THIS MALFUNCTIONING BITCH GOT MEDICATED

got me that concerta babyyy! I'm really hoping it helps at least take the edge off, my ADHD has been particularly rough these past several months, there are a lot of bees in my head and I'm hoping this will help them chill out a bit LOL (or at least put them to good work so they aren't running into each other in there!) The only thing I'm a bit concerned about is my blood pressure, I had to send it into the physician because obv this is a stimulant and we want to make sure it doesn't make my heart explode LMAO I do unfortunately have naturally high blood pressure, this is due to a combination of genetics, diet/lifestyle and the physical toll my unmanaged mental health has taken on me. BUT she mentioned that the medication should help with the anxiety and semi-constant state of fight or flight that I'm in (which definitely isn't helping my blood pressure LOL), and also considering I can't drink coffee on this stuff it should hopefully balance itself out (though the medication being a stimulant means I should hopefully see a decrease in caffeine dependency anyways as I was basically using caffeine to self-medicate). I'm starting with 18mg for a week and then switching to the 27mg! After that I have another follow-up appointment to check up on how I'm doing, and, if all goes well, continue my prescription!
I will still have to make some lifestyle changes, but as I mentioned to my physician, those changes will hopefully be a lot easier to make with the medication managing my executive dysfunction (at least that's what it'll hopefully do). I've always found it really difficult to maintain good habits with my brain because, duh, ADHD! The executive dysfunction really does make a mountain out of the simplest efforts on a daily basis, so I'm really hoping this will help me focus on getting on a regular schedule again where I can make time for my health. If this fixes my issues with sleep, I'll actually cry.
Assuming my physician doesn't email me back with a "do not take, you will explode" by the end of the day, I'll be starting it tomorrow! I'm terrified but excited! Wish me luck y'all! (•̀ᴗ•́)و
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Executive dysfunction is evil because you'll be like "hey I really wanna do that thing I like and makes me happy :]" and then you Don't Do It and keep not doing it until the sun explodes
#And then you blink and it's no longer March and is now almost June#And then when you try and tell somebody it they go “well why don't you do it then if it makes you happy?”#Good question!#sp-rambles
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I need more rote fancontent or I will explode tbh, ughhvhh executive dysfunction why can't I just fill the tag myself for absolutely no reason when I'm experiencing visions that need to be made real

#my brain is NOT built for niche fandoms but I'm stuck with atleast two that are necessary so#sighhhhh#soul's shitrambles#rote#realm of the elderlings
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would anybody be cool with me venting to them for a little bit? nothing terrible or anything, just stressed over life and have a medley of small annoying injuries and lots of deadlines n adhd/anxiety right now and kinda just want to go rahhhhh in someone’s dms. maybe it’ll let me actually get over my executive dysfunction for now 😭
always happy to return the favour, usually i’m pretty chill and optimistic but today’s been head-explode-y lol.
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