#exile ft bon iver | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jeonqkooks · 1 year

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our beloved summer | jjk (06)

You made a vow to hate Jeon Jungkook ever since he packed up and left you without a single explanation, but when he shows up at your door after years of radio silence, it turns out that maybe your resolve isn’t as strong as you thought.

pairing: producer!jungkook x songwriter!reader

genre/warnings: exes au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, swearing, kissing (omg k1ss1ng omg WHO IS IT ??? 😦), tbh this is the only warning i wanted u guys to read cuz 6 chapters in and we finally get sum action i feel like that's a win lmaooooo, jimin being Real as fook, unbeta'd cuz uhm i'm a godless menace who should be conked on the head, once again we are severely lacking jk in his own fic lol i'm owning up to this 🤗 BUT! this is probably the last chapter where jk feels like a side character lol apologies my dudes

rating: PG-13

word count: 8.1k (honestly i wrote obs6 just so i could get to obs7 lmao that's why it's a lil bit shorter)

note: my apologies if this sucks. you are legally allowed to stone me if you hate it. but i hope you don't hate it. but if you do hate it don't tell me just stone me lol 🤐 why am i so unhinged with this update

series masterpost / playlist ; moodboards ; taglist

— as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

I can see you starin', honey Like he's just your understudy Like you'd get your knuckles bloody for me

Exile - Taylor Swift (ft. Bon Iver)

The picture is fucking terrible.

“Jimin, what the fuck,” you grumble, staring at the huge framed photo on the wall, taken on the day of the opening party. You, Taehyung and Jimin are gathered on the floor of the dance studio, with boxes of takeout neatly sitting between the three of you. “I look like ass.”

Jimin barely glances at the wall, just continues to stuff his face with the dumplings that you ordered. “You look fine,” he says absentmindedly, mouth full, continuing to munch on the food despite your little dilemma.

“Bitch, I have my eyes closed.”

“It’s not that bad.”

“I look like I’m in the middle of a sneeze.” You cross your arms in front of your chest, squinting at your photographed self again. The more you look at it, the more irritated you become.

Realistically, you know nobody would pay enough attention to notice the immortalized visual of your fluttering eyes, and you yourself wouldn’t care about it that much. Maybe you would even laugh in good spirits and poke fun at yourself as you often do. Make a meme of it for the group chat.

“What’s the big deal?” Jimin asks.

You shrug petulantly. “I told you. I look like ass.”

Yeah, true, but it’s also more than that.

It’s the fact that the person standing next to you looks so good that you must voice your grievances. It’s the fact that he looks so much more than just good.

The guys stop eating to look at you. You wonder just how much of what you’re feeling is written all over your face. Regardless, they don’t comment on it.

One of them clears his throat, shaking the whole thing off.

“Did you tell Yoongi anything yet?” Jimin asks.

You poke at a lone dumpling with your chopsticks, popping the ‘p’ when you say, “Nope.”

“Damn, Y/N,” Jimin scolds you. “It’s been three weeks. He doesn’t want to push you for an answer but the man has got to be suffering.”

You flick a piece of spring onion garnish at him. It lands on his hair, a single bit of green sitting among golden locks. “I don’t know what to tell him!”

“What do you mean you don’t know?” Jimin shakes the onion piece from his head and chucks it back at you. “Obviously you say yes!”

You exhale through your nose, then take a bite of your dumpling. You nibble on the fried dough, stretching out the silence, delaying your response.

It hasn’t even started, and it might not even start. But you’re already thinking about all the things that could go wrong. Yoong is your friend, first and foremost. He’s a good friend, and you would be crushed if you lose that relationship.

What if he hurts you, or you hurt him?

Sometimes, people are meant to hurt each other even if they don’t mean to.

Yoongi hasn’t seen your pieces in all of their jagged glory, how they’re only meant to reflect the light but never be healed by it. He’s still blissfully unaware of the ugly thoughts that have a home inside your head, and you’re afraid if you let him in, he’d realize it’s a place he doesn’t want to be. It’s hard to love a broken thing. You wouldn’t want to love you either.

Maybe this is the real reason that’s been holding you back all this time. Maybe it isn’t Jungkook - though he certainly isn’t absolved - but it’s you, and how you just don’t know if you’re someone who deserves to love and be loved. You’ve felt inadequate more times than you can count. You’ve been left before. Who’s to say it isn’t going to happen again?

You’re well aware that this is a bad way to look at things, but can anyone really blame you? You still have a heart, and despite how fragmented it is, you still want to protect it.

“I know that look,” Taehyung says, parting your fog and pulling you back to him. “You’re overthinking again.”

You roll your eyes. He knows you so well, but does he have to call you out every time?

“I’m not overthinking. I’m regular thinking.”

“Right. And to normal people, that’s overthinking.”

“It’s just…” you wonder out loud, gaze on the floor. “What if I go all in, and Yoongi sees me for who I am and thinks that I’m just an utterly sad person who can’t be loved? That I’m too much work when he’s got literally thousands of people throwing themselves at him left and right?”

Taehyung stares at the side of your face as he bites the inside of his cheek. His tongue soothes the spot, his jaw clenching once. “He’s not going to think that.”

“You don’t know that,” you say, the corners of your mouth tugging down.

“You’re not unlovable just because one person didn’t love you right. So stop it with that bullshit, because I love you,” he says, voice serious. Even Jimin stays silent as he listens to his friend, his eyes flickering between you and Taehyung. “And Jimin loves you. Hobi loves you.”

You merely blink, because you hate it when he’s right. In all fairness, you understand. This is the same thing you would tell him if the situation were reversed.

You deflect anyway. That’s what you do best.

“You don’t count,” you tell him with an unserious scoff, your tone starkly contrasting his. “You’re my family.”

You taste something bitter as soon as the words leave your mouth. You should know better than anyone, that just because someone’s your family, doesn’t mean they have to love you.

Taehyung reenacts the blinking guy meme before chuckling, holding a hand over his chest like you’ve just wounded him. “Ouch.”

“You two are getting nowhere,” Jimin interjects. “Just call Yoongi.”

“And say what?” you ask.

“I told you. Say yes. God, you’re so dense sometimes.”

You reach over to jab a finger into his side, making him hiss and shuffle away from you.

“That wasn’t nice,” you grumble.

“Well, somebody’s gotta say it.” He gives you a look, eyebrows raised for a few seconds before he lowers them and grows more stern. “Come on, Y/N. You know you don’t want to say no, or else you would’ve turned him down already. You said you wanted to start dating again. Yoongi is practically on his knees offering himself to you. What are you waiting for?”

There’s a voice in the back of your head - tiny, barely audible - that whispers, Who are you waiting for?

“Fuck it, I’ll say it,” Jimin continues. “It sucks balls that Jungkook hurt you, but you can’t let that affect you for the rest of your life. Not everyone is going to hurt you. You’re not even giving Yoongi a chance just because someone else did you dirty. If you keep always thinking about the worst possible outcome and banking on it to happen, then you’re never going to get anywhere. I love you, dude, but y’know.”

You stare at Jimin with your mouth slightly open, stunned into silence. When you glance at Taehyung, he’s surprised too, though probably not as much as you.

After a couple of minutes, you say, “Wow.”

“Tough love. I have my moments.” Jimin shrugs casually, like he didn’t just drop a truth bomb on your head. “But also…” He picks his phone up and types something in. Your phone instantly buzzes with a notification.

“Open the link I just sent you,” he says.

“You are literally sitting across from me.”

“Just open it! I made you a playlist.”

“Aw, Jimin, that’s so cute,” you coo softly, reaching over to pinch his cheek before he swats your hand away. You unlock your phone to see what Jimin made you, because that is some friendship hall of fame stuff right there. However, when the link redirects you to your music app, your smile immediately drops.

Aaand he’s back.

You stare at the screen for a good ten seconds to try and find your bearings, flabbergasted at something that is quite honestly very on-brand for Jimin if you think about it. “You made me a playlist called Dick Appointment with an eggplant emoji and the tongue out emoji and it’s mostly just Yoongi’s songs. Even the playlist cover is from his Valentino shoot.”

“So you can get it on while Agust D plays in the background!” Jimin grins, and you could just smack it right off his face.

“Park Jimin, who raised you? You are vile.”

“Validate me,” he demands. Oh, you would smack him. You really would. “I spent hours making that playlist.”

“It’s literally just Yoongi’s songs.”

“Yeah, but I had to curate an experience. I can’t just dump every song into a playlist and call it a day. I gotta make sure they fit the vibe.”

“I literally just heard the most profound shit from you not even two minutes ago.” Then, you turn to Taehyung with an exasperated look on your face. “Why would you let him do this?”

He just waves a dismissive hand in the air, like Jimin isn’t even there. “I’m not responsible for the stupid shit he does.”

Jimin crosses his arms in front of his chest, both eyebrows raised dramatically as he gapes at you. “You both suck. From now on, you can make your own sexytime playlists.”

“Nobody even asked you to do that!” you cry.

“Yeah! Which makes me an even more considerate friend,” he says. “Ugh. Whatever. Go call Yoongi.”

“You want me to do it now?”

“Yes. Because I know you’ll wuss out when you’re alone. You can stay and put him on speakers for us to hear or you can go out into the hallway. Come on, chop chop.”

“No, I have to text him first,” you protest. “What if he’s busy?”

Jimin narrows his eyes at you suspiciously, but allows you this after a moment. “Fine.”

You take out your phone from your bag that’s lying carelessly on the floor to draft a quick message to Yoongi.

[12:59] You: got a minute?

The three of you go back to the food, abandoning the previous topic of conversation in favor of something lighter and meaningless or else you would go crazy waiting for Yoongi’s reply. After you’re finished, you and Taehyung are in the middle of putting away all the empty containers and soda cans when your phone buzzes again.

You go to grab it to look at the notification, hands already starting to sweat.

[13:17] Yoongi: for you? always :)

You turn back to the guys to find them already looking at you. Jimin wiggles his eyebrows suggestively while Taehyung just stares at you.

“Time to get your whore on,” Jimin says in an exaggeratedly sultry voice.

You turn to Taehyung for help. “He’s bullying me.”

“Ignore him,” your best friend tells you gently. “Go call Yoongi.”

When you take your phone out into the hallway, you make sure to go to the far end of it, near the main entrance so the two dorks can’t eavesdrop. You’ll tell them everything once you come back anyway, but you don’t want them within earshot while you’re in the middle of it.

Yoongi picks up your call on the third ring. In the background, your ear picks up on some chatter.

“Hey, princess,” he greets you. Then he holds the phone away from his ear to tell someone that he’d be back in a bit.

“Hey,” you say. “Where are you?”

“Just at a fitting. I have an ad campaign to film next week,” he answers. “Did you call just to get my whereabouts?”

“No, I… If you’re busy, we can talk later.”

“We’re still in the middle of lunch break anyway. What did you want to talk about?”

You briefly regret not taking a minute to psych yourself up before. You suck in a deep breath, which eases your nerves for just a second, long enough for you to say, “Yes.”

You’re met with brief silence from the other end of the line, which only makes your palms more clammy than they already are.

“Yes?” he echoes confusedly. “Yes what?”

“Yes,” you say again. “To…”

The silence commences once more, and lasts longer than you think you can handle. Then, you hear him stop in the middle of a breath.

“Oh.” A subsequent chuckle in response to the lightbulb that must’ve been switched on. “To that?”

“...Yes.”

“Yes?”

“Yes.”

It feels like you two have invented a secret language that nobody else could understand. A single syllable, bouncing off the metaphorical walls of your conversation. Two idiots sharing the same brain cell.

“Yes?” he continues to prod, but at this point, you know he’s just teasing you.

“Yes! God, stop making me say it again. We sound so stupid.”

He graces you with a hearty laugh that makes you fight back a sheepish smile, even though there isn’t a single soul in sight to witness it. Yoongi makes you so fucking shy for some reason. Your nerves dissolve momentarily as you lean against the wall, your index finger running along a crack in the paint.

“Hmm, I wish you would’ve told me this in person,” he says, his voice soft.

“I can’t handle you in person. You’d tease me so much.”

“Because you’re adorable when you’re flustered, that’s why.” He waits a second before adding, “You’re blushing right now, aren’t you?”

“You’re being overly confident, Min.”

“Maybe,” he responds easily. “But am I right, though?”

“Shut up.”

When Yoongi said he would cook for you, you almost gasped.

“You can cook?” you had asked. It wasn’t an earth-shattering revelation or anything, but you suppose you’d never given much thought to the hidden sides of him.

“Y/N,” he laughed then. “I’m a great cook. I could probably make a pretty decent career out of being a chef.”

“I didn’t know that,” you told him sheepishly.

“There’s a lot of things you still need to know about me.” It sounded like a promise. Like I’m willing to show you me. Like I’m willing to take the first step if you’d be in this with me too. “Does that sound like a good idea? You, me, dinner at your place?”

“My place?”

“Yeah, so you’ll be more comfortable. I’ll come over.”

This one simple gesture shouldn’t affect you that much, but it does. You appreciate that he’s considerate even when it comes to the littlest things. You swell with gratitude for the thought he puts into this, into putting your comfort first. It made you feel a bit better about yourself, calmed your stormy sea of thoughts enough to rationally accept the fact that he genuinely cares.

Regardless, it doesn’t stop you from spending most of the day obsessively cleaning your apartment. Even - and especially - your bedroom, although you’re sure that is not where the night will end. Every surface is spotless, not a single speck of dust to be found. It’s like the goddamn Pope is coming over for a house inspection.

You haven’t had a first date in… fuck, how long has it been now? Nine years? It’s almost been a fucking decade already? You honestly can’t tell if that’s embarrassing or not.

But you remember the last time.

College, freshman year, with Jungkook. His yellow piece of sticky note that he slipped inside your favorite book. His adorably flustered expression when he timidly stood in front of you in the campus library. The way he was trying so hard to be confident and charming throughout your first dinner together. How he ran back to you after saying goodnight.

No.

You shut your eyes and shake your head, warding off any Jungkook-related thoughts before they could send you spiraling. You can’t reminisce about your ex while waiting for someone else to show. Yoongi deserves better, and that’s what you’re trying to be.

You’re not exactly sure how nice you should dress tonight. Yoongi told you that you could be clad in sweats for all he cares. If the dinner didn’t hold any connotation other than platonic, maybe you would’ve really donned your loungewear like you were merely having Taehyung and Jimin over for pizza.

You’d completely forgotten all the things people worry about in the early stages of dating, when you want to impress the other person but don’t want them to think that you’re trying too hard.

Calm down. It’s just Yoongi. He’s seen you ugly crying with mascara running down your face, for fuck’s sake.

In the end, you opt for a sweater and a comfortable skirt. Casual.

Yoongi rings your doorbell about ten minutes later than when he said he’d be there, holding a bag full of groceries. The visual alone makes you bite back a giggle and subsequently fail. You believe this is what people would call husband material.

You take his coat and guide him into your home. “Welcome to my humble abode,” you say shyly, gesturing around as you lead him into the kitchen to show him where everything is. Why are you acting like this? This isn’t you. If Taehyung or Jimin could see you right now, they would probably laugh. Hoseok would straight up be rolling on the floor.

You barely breathe as you watch Yoongi take in his surroundings. It’s intimidating, even though you know it’s just Yoongi.

“I actually don’t know what I expected, but I like it. It’s very you,” he comments, smiling.

“What does that mean?”

“It means that it’s cute,” he says, throwing you a wink as he leans against your kitchen counter.

You avert your gaze immediately. “Oh… Thanks,” you reply, fiddling with the hem of your sweater. “So, uhm, what are you making? How can I help?”

“Just sit down. I got this.”

“Yoongi,” you say his name in protest. “I want to h-”

“I’m trying to romance you here. Let me do that,” Yoongi says, his smile turning lopsided as he starts emptying the contents of his grocery bags. Even though his tone is light, the gentle reminder of tonight being a date shuts you right up.

You take a seat at your dining table, though you can’t really sit still. As Yoongi starts working, you absentmindedly talk to each other about your day, about his campaign, about Seokjin’s album. At one point, you get up to creep over to his side when the smell of whatever he’s making becomes more prominent. You try to peek at the pot, curious, but he just shoos you away by bumping his hip against yours.

When you give him a small pout, you pretend not to notice the way his eyes dart to your mouth. You retract yourself from his personal space, choosing a spot on the other side of your kitchen island, staring at his back as he works.

You watch him expertly navigate your kitchen like he’s been here before. When he’s finished, he makes you sit down, not even letting you help bring the food to the table.

“What is it?” you ask once he’s settled in his seat, everything plated in front of you.

“Kimchi jjigae,” he says, a proud look on his face. “My mom’s recipe.”

It’s endearing, and it makes you smile.

For the most part, Yoongi lets you eat in peace, though there’s still a couple of flirtatious comments here and there. Every time it comes, you bite down on your bottom lip to try and snap out of that daze before you cough, as if that would help tone down the colors adorning your face. There’s no verbal response from you, and it seems like Yoongi doesn’t expect one either, because he just chuckles. You think he must notice the palpable nervousness that radiates off of you, but it’s not like you’re doing a very good job at hiding it.

You’re taking baby steps and he knows it. The fact that you even agreed to this at all is already major progress.

When you’re done eating, he clears the table while he asks you to open the expensive bottle of wine that he brought over. It does wonders for your nerves.

Three glasses in and you’re visibly more relaxed as you both sit on the couch in the living room, facing each other. There’s a small smile on your face that you can’t help, maybe it’s some of your inhibitions wearing off as a side effect of the alcohol.

You glance around the room, and you take in the sight of Yoongi sitting here, this close to you. He feels bigger than your small world can handle.

“You know,” you start. If the wine didn’t make you more mellow, you probably wouldn’t be saying this. “There are thousands of people thirsting over you every day.”

Yoongi tilts his head, swirling the wine in his glass. “Really?”

“Don’t you look at the internet? I personally know two girls from college who are on the Yoongi Marry Me train,” you say matter-of-factly, like you aren’t borderline tipsy in front of him.

You aren’t an avid Twitter user, but every time you check the damn bird app, Yoongi is almost always trending. In every single one of his posts on social media, there is always an influx of comments asking him to marry them. Not only that, when word first got out about you collaborating with Agust D back then, people you knew - both old friends and acquaintances - practically bombarded your messages to see if it was true, and to ask if you could get them an autograph.

Yoongi stretches out his legs until they brush against yours. Your stomach flips even though it’s only your legs that are barely touching.

“The what train?”

“You seriously don’t know about the Yoongi Marry Me movement? Look it up. It’s a whole thing. People would do anything to, I don’t know, hold your hand or something.”

With an amused look on his face, he holds your gaze. “Would you?”

“What?”

“Would you do all of that just to hold my hand? Because you don’t have to, y’know.” He brings the wine glass to his lips, partially hiding his face from you, and you don’t know whether he’s doing it for your sake or his in preparation for the words he speaks next. “But I would do it to hold yours.”

You’re sure that your cheeks are burning bright, your stomach twisted in knots. It’s the wine, but it’s definitely the effect of his words too. You stare at Yoongi in surprise; no matter how many times he openly flirts with you, he’d still elicit the same reaction from you. It’ll be hard to get used to it. He just always seems to know what to say to make you blush like a schoolgirl, which you resent but you can’t deny the sparks of excitement that make your fingertips tingle.

Yoongi is smooth, and it’s even worse - or is it better? You haven’t decided yet - that you know he means every word he says. It makes you feel… wanted. It’s good to know that he’s being genuine, and to know that Yoongi isn’t the type of person who would ever pull the rug out from under you.

Yoongi is… stable.

You suppose, after everything you’ve been through, that stability is what you need. It’s good for you.

You try to swerve around the thoughts, to avoid them at all costs, but deep down you know now that they’re glaringly true.

That love is stored in two bags of groceries, so filled to the brim that some onions almost fall out. Love is stored in every flick of his wrist holding a knife, slicing the sharp blade across your cutboard. Clean cuts, yet he’s never this way when it comes to you.

Love is stored in a fond smile and adoring eyes when he sees how you cradle your expensive dishware like it’s a newborn baby before you set it carefully on the table.

Love is stored in a Yoongi-shaped silhouette, dancing over your countertops with practiced precision in every movement, filling in the cracks of your home. The love in him is reserved because you, like the moon when it crescents, still have a ways to go.

When he stands at your door an hour later with his coat in hand, you wait for him to speak first.

“Performance review?” he asks. “How did I do?”

“I… liked it. It was nice,” you say honestly. But you still feel the wine in your system, and it makes you bold enough to tease him for a change. “But it was my first date in a while, so it’s hard to tell if that opinion is objective.”

He rolls his eyes fondly. “Do I qualify for a second date then?”

You hum in thought, making him wait on purpose. “Yeah, I guess,” you say, feigning nonchalance, which earns you a hearty laugh.

“What are you doing tomorrow night?” he asks, hopeful.

“Don’t know yet,” you answer, though you’ll probably end up going home and catching up on a kdrama. “Are you coming in tomorrow?”

“Just in the morning. I have a shoot in the afternoon.” He shifts to lean his weight on his other leg, tipping his body closer to you. “But I can pick you up after.”

“Yeah? And where would we go?”

Yoongi shrugs in earnest. “Just drive around? Grab a bite?” he thinks out loud, tilting his head slightly to one side for emphasis. “I could take you to that popup store you mentioned.”

You quirk an eyebrow. “You would stand in line with me to buy a novelty mug?”

“Pretty sure we wouldn’t have to stand in line if I gave them a call,” he says, grinning. “One of the perks of the job, y’know.”

“Must be nice,” you laugh, then shift to lean just a tad closer to him. You look at him for a brief moment before you agree, “Yeah, okay.”

You and Yoongi stand there at the door, each of you on either side of the threshold. This would be an appropriate moment for a kiss, you think. That explosive first kiss, if this were a movie. Exhilaration courses through your veins. You feel it from your head to the tips of your fingers to your toes. The feeling is rendering you a mere teenager again.

It’s exciting because it’s new. You have the entire book ahead of you, waiting to be written. At this point, anything could happen. You’re a blank canvas waiting to be drawn, a blank page hoping to be written.

Wait.

Back up.

A kiss?

A kiss?!

With Yoongi?

You’re thinking about kissing Yoongi?!

Fuck.

Fuck?!

It’s the wine.

Your thoughts knock against each other like bumper cars, echoing loudly in your brain that it almost gives you a headache.

You stay still as Yoongi leans down, your heart racing while your brain just keyboard-smashes. You can’t tell if you want him to kiss you or not, but when he only presses his lips against your cheek, you feel two emotions at once.

The first is disappointment, the second is relief. They press down on you with almost equal force, and you’re not really sure which one weighs heavier.

Baby steps.

You blink when he pulls away, and he just smiles fondly at you as if he can read your mind.

“Goodnight, princess.”

You watch him until he’s in the elevator, until the doors close and the lift descends. Even when you know that he must be on his way to his car and that someone else is making their way up, you stand there, with your hand loosely wrapped around the door handle, your breathing slightly erratic as you process what just happened.

Déjà vu?

It’s oddly reminiscent.

You’ve been here before.

Part of you thinks he’ll burst through the elevator doors, or rush up the stairs if the lift is occupied, and come back to grab your face and kiss you senseless.

He doesn’t.

Jungkook knows you’re probably waiting for Yoongi.

He’s seen Yoongi pick you up after work almost daily over the past couple of weeks, and it’s driving him insane. Even on the days that Yoongi comes to the studio during the day, the guy is all over you, so much so that he doesn’t even bother being a nuisance to Jungkook anymore, which just makes him a thousand times more insufferable.

Something is happening.

He can’t weasel shit out of Jimin anymore because Jimin has been especially tight-lipped after accidentally spilling Yoongi’s confession to you.

Because that should be him in Yoongi’s place. Or should he say his place, and Yoongi is just a placeholder. An imposter.

Because it used to be him that you smiled shyly at.

Jimin’s words have been plaguing his every waking hour since he was forced to hear them. If she wants to choose Yoongi, let her do that too. It feels like he’s rewinding all of your memories, retracing them with cautious fingers only to find that his every footstep is being erased to make room for someone else.

An abandoned dirt road, while you walk down a flower-filled path holding someone else’s hand.

Like you’re stamping him out.

Like he was never there at all.

Not only are you denying him a chance, you’re giving it to someone else. When he tries to move at someone else’s pace, all he gets is left behind.

It’s not about Yoongi; or at least, it’s not just about him. Yoongi doesn’t even really matter to Jungkook in this equation. It’s about what Yoongi represents. An idea of a person that Jungkook can never be.

A bigger life. A stable present and an even brighter future. Yoongi is everything better than him.

And that’s his own problem to deal with, not anyone else’s. At the end of the day, no one has to live with his insecurities but himself.

But still, he can’t help it. Whenever he sees you with Yoongi, his eyes burn. Please don’t let him take my place, he wishes every time, you’re the only good thing about me.

It’s jealousy, sure, of course it’s there.

But what if you realize what everyone else already knows? That Yoongi is better in every single way. That Yoongi is the person who really deserves you.

What if you start to see Jungkook the way he sees himself?

You hating him - despising him with every cell in your body - is a thousand times better than you deeming him unworthy.

“I talked to Jihyo,” he speaks up suddenly, when it’s only the two of you.

“Okay,” you answer, never taking your eyes off the page in front of you. You must have circled the words daisy a thousand times already, wracking your brain for anything that rhymes. “I don’t know why you’re telling me this, but good for you.”

At this point, you wonder if you should just avoid the studio for the time being. It’s empty here again. You resent Seokjin for drowning in concept photos. You resent Namjoon for leaving Jungkook here to fend for himself, but it’s only fair, because Namjoon was only supposed to give him a helping hand, not take over the whole thing. You even resent Yoongi a bit, for not being here right this second.

“I talked to her,” Jungkook says again, ignoring your sass. “She won’t give you a hard time anymore.”

This makes you look at him. You never asked him to do this. You never asked him to do anything. In fact, you have only ever implored him to sit still and leave things alone.

“She never gave me a hard time,” you say. Sure, you don’t appreciate being given the death glare first thing in the morning, but it’s not something that you can’t ignore. It doesn’t actively affect you, and the only reason Jihyo does it is because of Jungkook.

Because he broke things off with her?

Because he gives you more attention?

Ugh. Attention?

This is the stupidest and most childish thing you have had to think about in ages.

“You said she acts differently toward you.”

“And aren’t you the reason why?” you counter. “Because you two were fucking?”

Jungkook visibly winces at your words, like he did when you mentioned it the first time in the break room. You don’t mean to be snarky; you’re just stating the facts. They were hooking up.

You don’t harbor any ill will toward any of his past lovers, and that includes Jihyo. You know she doesn’t have anything against you either, at least not on a personal level because you don’t know each other well enough to do so. She’s just someone you pass by every day on your way to the elevator.

“So why did things end?” you ask just for the sake of it, since he was the one who brought it up. But you’d be lying if you said you weren’t curious.

He hesitates for a moment. “She wanted something more and it wasn’t the same for me.”

It’s stupid that the tiny voice in the back of your head resurfaces, hoping that you were the reason why he couldn’t pursue things with another woman.

Jihyo isn’t you, that much is clear. You never asked for anything more from him, not once from start to finish. He was always the first one to pour love into you. It’s arguable which one of you loved the other more - maybe you loved each other equally, just in different ways - but it was a fact that Jungkook always took the initiative. He made the first move so you wouldn’t have to. He gave you the option to match his affection, and never have to worry about being left out to dry.

He took initiative, right until the very end.

You bite your bottom lip, then give him a curt response, “Okay.”

Your phone vibrates with a text from Yoongi but you don’t open it just yet. You look at Jungkook, who only looks back at you. His lips part slightly as he searches for the right words, or any word at all. It’s like you’re asking him to navigate a minefield when all he has to do is be honest. Even if he told you that he fell out of love with you, it wouldn’t be that bad. You would be hurt, yes, but you wouldn’t blame him. You would understand. It would be a reason.

Silence fills the room, save for the continuous tapping of your pen on paper.

He says your name, pleading. “I’m trying here.”

At Jimin’s party, Jungkook said you were someone important to him. You don’t doubt that he meant it, and that’s what infuriates you the most. You’re important, but he keeps running circles around you and making your head spin. You’re important, but everything he’s done makes you think that you’re the opposite. You’re important, just not important enough to get an explanation.

You know he’s genuine about everything he says, but that’s not enough. You can’t sustain yourself on just his words alone.

It’s another cycle of the same conversation, running over and over and over again. He’s reaching out but he’s holding back. You’re still getting nowhere. You don’t know how many times he has to make you ask this, only to not give you any clarity at all.

If there is a trait of Jungkook’s that you both love and hate at the same time, it is that he doesn’t know when to quit.

He texts you every day even when you don’t reply - one for good morning, and one for goodnight. He gets you a chai latte every day, which doesn’t do shit for your concentration because there’s not enough caffeine in it. He gets the door for you whenever you go into the same room together. He hounds your every waking moment. He makes sure that he’s the first thing you see when you wake up, and the last thought that crosses your mind before you go to sleep.

I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you.

You suppose this is him, showing up again. In a lot of ways, it’s selfish. But it’s an effort too. Now your phone is full of meaningless messages that remain unread.

You barely glance at him. It’s routine at this point. He tries in ways that you don’t bother acknowledging anymore, because you figured that the best course of action is to let him wear himself out. When he has had enough of it, when he deems his efforts to be enough to absolve his guilt, he’ll stop. He has to.

But at what point does it stop?

At what point will you stop wanting to give in to him? Your mind rages wars with itself every time you feel his eyes on you, and you have to kill the urge to not turn your head and look at him too. At what point will you stop wanting to go to him and let him in again? At what point will you stop unconsciously making him a priority?

All of this, you supposed, is to say: Do you still love him?

You know that if you sit down and get to the root of it, you’ll find an answer you don’t like. Even in this moment, you want him to tell you just a fraction of the truth, because that would probably be enough to reel you back in.

Your own heart claws at your chest but this is how it has to be for a while. All you can do is take it one day at a time, gently nudge your heart in one direction like a child that needs to be goaded, until he doesn’t live on the forefront of your mind anymore.

Until someone else does.

“No, you’re not.” You stand up then, closing your notebook with more force than necessary. “If you’re really trying, then I wouldn’t still be wondering why I wasn’t enough to make you stay.”

Even then, you’re still hoping that he’d say something else. But when you’re only met with silence, the anticipated disappointment in you bubbles, boiling. His reluctance to clue you in makes it easier for you to decide.

There's someone else who's willing to give you things that you don't even need to ask for.

In your mind, it's clear who you should choose.

Jungkook clenches his teeth, holding his breath as he watches you shove your things into your bag. “Are you going home?” he asks after a minute.

You could say yes and let the conversation die a swift and simple death. But for some reason, you choose to kill it violently. You bite the inside of your cheek before you tell him, “I don’t know. Yoongi’s picking me up.”

The chagrinned look that takes over his features for a split second is one that you immediately catch. Maybe it’s because he wants to make sure you know how he feels about this, or maybe you still have a way of reading him somehow. Regardless of what his face tells you, he doesn’t prod any further.

Your phone vibrates on the table, the sound ten times more thunderous amidst the silence that’s befallen the both of you. You don’t need to check the screen to know who’s calling, and neither does he. When you leave, the sound of your fading footsteps ricochets off the walls. It shoots right through him.

He hears every word of that conversation ringing in his ears then. He recalls that afternoon’s sunset; it was the most beautiful sunset he saw that year, despite the sun overhead mocking him with every magnificent glint of light. He sees the look on your face when his words finally register in your mind, the Oh moment when you understood what he was saying, when the smile you wore sunk helplessly to the floor because even though you knew that love had an expiration date, you hoped your love would be the exception.

That memory fades, only to be replaced by something much worse. He sits there with Jimin’s words, echoing in his mind, reverberating around the room.

Technically, you and Yoongi haven’t been on a second date. You think.

You’ve seen him almost every night since the dinner, when he picks you up at the studio. Sometimes, you two just drive around. Sometimes, you sit by the river in the cold, eating hot ramen cups and giggling over nothing. Sometimes, he just takes you straight to your home if he has a packed schedule the next day.

These days, you see Yoongi even more than you see Taehyung. Even though he hasn’t explicitly implied that any of these outings is a date, you know you aren’t hanging out as just friends anymore.

It feels good to be wanted. The feeling is reinforced tenfold because it’s been so long that it’s like you’re experiencing it for the first time in a new body, as a different person.

But even after all of that, you two can still go back to being friends like nothing ever happened. Because in a way, maybe nothing did happen. Maybe things have always been like this between you, the only difference is now you’re noticing the meaning behind his words and glances.

You two can still go back, because technically, no line has been crossed.

But tonight, something feels different. It’s colder, but Yoongi keeps you warm with all the looks he’s been giving you all night.

It feels like you’re both toeing that line right now.

You know that once you cross it, things can’t revert back to the way they were anymore.

You know that it will happen eventually, because Yoongi isn’t doing this just to half-ass it. He won’t back out, and he has made it crystal clear from the start.

Usually, this is the part where he tells you goodnight and you have to pretend not to freak out when he kisses you on the cheek in goodbye.

He takes a step closer, you take no step back.

“You know what I’m about to do, right?”

You do. You could say you’re even hopeful.

“I might have an idea…”

“Okay,” he says easily. He takes your waist in his hands and brings you closer. The way the corner of his mouth tugs upward tells you that he’s pleased, that you know what’s about to come and you’re letting it happen. Still, he asks, “Can I?”

You nod. That glowing sensation washes over you in waves.

“Words, princess,” he reminds you.

Your hands land on the lapel of his coat. “Yes, you can.”

He chuckles, and squeezes you a little tighter.

Then it happens.

The line you clumsily drew in the sand has been erased.

Yoongi is kissing you.

You’re kissing him back.

He’s soft and warm and he holds you like you’re delicate. His sincerity, you can feel it in his kiss, and it’s only a fraction of it. Regardless, there is still life that blooms this winter. Inside of you, small and fragile, but it’s there.

You sigh into his mouth, feeling completely limbless if not for him holding your body upright. One of his arms wounds itself tighter around your middle while his other hand tucks your hair behind your ear so he could cup your cheek more easily. Yoongi tilts his head further to one side to deepen the kiss. You feel something in his kiss that you have never heard in his words, something soft and pleading. Wanting but still contained. Out of fear that you might run away, perhaps? You can’t blame him though. You are a bit of a flight risk.

The wind dances past like a nosy bystander, pressing you further into him like it wants you to be more sure in the way you move, in how much of yourself you’re willing to give to him. Instead, the cold just makes you shiver.

When you break away, his hand on your face moves to hold the back of your head. Yoongi doesn’t look half as flushed as you think you do, though his cheeks are slightly rosy.

Through a thin veil of clouds, the moon still shines down on his profile.

The chill in the air, the mesmerizing view of moonlight dancing across his features, and most of all, the way you’re still lost in the kiss, in the feeling of being wanted.

“C’mon, I’ll walk you up,” he says, after you stay silent for a beat too long, hooded eyes basking in the warmth of a heart chasing your own. You want to want him. You do want him, but there’s still something missing. It doesn’t feel entirely right, but for now, you try not to dwell on it too much. Just let it be. Maybe in time, that void will inevitably fill.

Yoongi holds your hand through the lobby and on the whole way up even if neither of you says anything, just shy glances in the elevator and bashful half-hidden smiles. You don’t invite him in once you get to your door - because an invite now insinuates something that you just aren’t ready for - but he does kiss you again. If the kiss you shared downstairs is a proper goodnight kiss, then this one means see you later and doesn’t last half as long, but it makes you tingle just the same.

He pulls back, only to dive in again, and again, and again, until one chaste kiss turns into five and you have to push him away with a giggle so you can breathe.

“Sorry,” he mumbles, eyes still set on your mouth. “Couldn’t help myself.”

“Yoongi,” you say, a little breathily, like oxygen hasn’t sufficiently made its way into your lungs since downstairs.

He rests his forehead against yours. “You’ve never said my name like that before,” he sighs.

“Like what?”

“Like you want me to kiss you again.”

You tug your bottom lip between your teeth and pretend to consider this even though you know you would like to be kissed again. “Maybe I do,” you say after a beat, bravely. “Just one more.”

He gives you your final kiss of the night then, one that lasts a second longer than the others, like he’s trying to memorize how you taste.

You head in once Yoongi is out of sight. You lean your body against the door the second you snap the lock shut. You touch your lips lightly, reliving those moments again even though they happened mere seconds ago. You’re buzzing with excitement like a schoolgirl, every feeling coursing through your body all at once.

You’re familiar with this. It’s the stage right before every love song you listen to suddenly reminds you of that one person.

You go through your regular evening routine with a pep in your step, thanks to a certain person tonight. You take off your carefully applied makeup and take a nice, hot shower. You think the heat would help melt away the high that you’re riding - like you’ve had too much coffee to drink and now your senses are beyond heightened - but it doesn’t. Once you’re fresh and comfortable in your PJs, you still feel that jittery feeling seeping through your pores, keeping you awake. There’s a message from Yoongi that tells you he has made it home safely.

It’s still early, and you’re far too restless to go to bed. You decided to brew yourself a mug of chamomile tea, even though you don’t even like chamomile and you can’t remember why you even have it, but they say that apparently chamomile is good for sleep. You decide to take the mug into the living room to sort through your mini mountain of mail that should’ve been dealt with days ago.

Sitting underneath that pile of junk mail and letters addressed to the previous tenant even though you’ve lived here for nearly two years, is a cream-colored card addressed to you. The material feels smooth under your fingertips, like velvet if that’s even possible. Inside, there are two names - one you recognize and another you don’t - typed out in a fancy calligraphy font and encircled by pretty flowers, all pinks and whites and romantic.

The saccharine sensation associated with the thought of Yoongi dissipates instantly. Instead, your mind blanks, only to buzz to life again momentarily with a newfound sinking feeling dragging you down.

You suddenly realize that Jungkook hasn’t crossed your mind once tonight. Not until now. That crestfallen look in his eyes from the other night appears in your mind again, clear as day.

You are, quite literally, holding someone’s declaration of love and yet, it’s not joy that you feel, having been asked to join them on their special day.

You never thought you would see Jungkook’s family again - even though you always adored his parents and you felt that they loved you too - let alone receive an invitation to his brother’s wedding.

remember when y'all said u wanted a wedding?? well u didn't say whose wedding 😌

700 notes · View notes

cacoetheswriting · 1 year

Text

a best friend eddie story + collection of drabbles

pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader total word count: 31k tags/content warnings: best friends to lovers, slow burn, mutual pining, suggestive & mature themes, adult language, use of pet names, emotional hurt / comfort, self-doubt / insecurities, recreational drug use, topics of death / grief — pls also read cw's for each part & if i missed anything, let me know!

summary: a story about two kids trying to navigate through love and loss, inevitable goodbyes, various reunions, friendships and hardships, joy, heartbreak, plus surviving the upside down - all to the sound of Janis Joplin's Pearl.

& psa: images used in the header don’t depict readers physical attributes! these are also described vaguely, if at all, in the story.

1980

⪼ your first conversation with eddie (october)

1984

⪼ eddie realises he might like you as more than a friend (march)

⪼ eddie comes to terms with his feelings, pushing you away in the process (may/june)

⪼ last moment with eddie before you leave for college (august)

⪼ eddie & reader catch up on the phone (september)

⪼ a kiss, a fight, & the end of a friendship? (november / december)

⪼ the letters (november / december)

1985

⪼ a rather dramatic reunion, after months of not speaking (june / july)

⪼ eddie & reader try to navigate through their feelings (october)

⪼ can celebrating nye together lead to a kiss at midnight? eddie for sure hopes that it can (december)

1986

⪼ valentine’s day

⪼ eddie and the end of the world (march)

⪼ apologies, confessions, and plans for the future (may)

⪼ the start of something new (august)

a/n: the following are some songs i think they fit perfectly with their story, so i wanted to share them with you.

main masterlist

593 notes · View notes

jaehyunnie77 · 1 year

Text

Exile

summary: you and jaehyun are endgame, or rather were supposed to be endgame. the short story of your relationship and the ending.

pairing: jaehyun x f. reader

genre: lovers to ex's | break up au | holy trinity

word count: 5.8k

warnings: cuss words, pet names (baby/babe), mentions of food, ass slapping, oral (female recieving), unprotected sex (please wrap it up), orgasm denial, a bit of dom jaehyun, creampie.

a/n: happy holidays everyone! i've been working on this on and off for i dont know how many months, but it's here now lol. thank you to this lovely anon for requesting this scenario. i swear i didn't mean for this to be so long hehe. also, exile by taylor swift ft bon iver has been stuck in my head so that's where the title came from lol. happy sad reading and any feedback is greatly appreciated.

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the meeting

“Order for Y/N.” The barista calls out. You quickly throw your phone into your bag and hurriedly walk to the counter to grab your coffee. Today, out of all days, you just had to sleep through your alarm and now you’re running late. You should have been in class ten minutes ago to prepare for the lecture to begin.

Too deep in your thoughts, you didn’t see or hear the person behind you. When you turned around, you bumped into something hard as your hot coffee spilled on the man’s shirt. Not only that, but whatever you bumped into, made you lose your balance making you land on your ass.

“Ow. Shit.” You say quietly before looking up and seeing the stain on a white crisp shirt. Petrified, you grab the napkins from a nearby table and begin patting the coffee stain hoping it would go away. “I am so sorry!” You’re not really thinking or using your brain at the moment as you keep repeating sorry.

“It’s okay.” The man chuckles deeply. He wasn’t even mad about it. When it seemed like you didn’t hear him, or stop patting his shirt, he softly held onto your wrist to halt your movements. It then registers in your brain that you are invading someone’s personal space. You slowly look up at him and he has the most beautiful brown eyes you’ve ever seen.

You quickly look away and stare at his shirt, trying to hide the smile creeping on your face. This just had to be your luck today didn’t it.

“I’m Jaehyun.” He says softly looking down at you.

Damn even his name is beautiful.

You’re still staring at his shirt to gather your nerves to calm down when you look up and tell him your name. You give him a soft smile in return before saying one last time, “I’m really sorry about your shirt. I can pay for your coffee or dry cleaning.”

All the cute man does is chuckle at your cuteness. “It’s okay. Honestly, I’ve been trying to get rid of this shirt for the longest time and now I have a reason to.” That made you laugh. At least he wasn’t yelling at you. “You can make it up to me though.”

Your eyes go wide as you violently nod your head. “Oh my god yes please. Name it. I really do feel bad even if you want to throw it away. It is the least I can do.”

He laughs at your comment, “Go on a date with me. Tonight?” He says confidently. Now that took you by surprise.

“You’re very straightforward aren’t you?” you smirk.

Jaehyun gives you a lopsided smile making his dimples pop out. “Yeah, I can be, but you did say it’s the least you can do to make it up to me.” He had you at that and you didn’t even need to second guess your answer when you said yes.

After that first interaction and date, you went on multiple dates to get to know each other. He was easy to get along with and he made you laugh uncontrollably. Something people have a very hard time doing. In all, he just made you the happiest you’ve ever been. By the third week of dating, you two were officially together.

You did everything together from dates, him picking you up from class, going grocery shopping, hanging out and not doing anything special, cooking together, singing karaoke together, and everything in between.

By the sixth month, you both met each other’s families. You’ve been in several relationships in the past, but the relationship with Jaehyun felt different. Solely because he was different. Some may say you both moved a little too quickly for their liking, but hey, once you know, you just know and you roll with it. There wasn’t anything or anyone that would make you doubt him or the love you two share.

He understood you and listened to you whenever you needed to vent and he was always there whenever you needed him. You were each other’s biggest supporters and motivators to chase after what you wanted. On top of that, he made you feel like a princess with the way he showers you with love. There are days where you can’t believe you are living out your very own fairytale of finding your true love. Of finding your prince charming and falling head over heels in love with him and living happily ever after.

Jeong Jaehyun is perfect and he is all yours.

the fourth year

A lot has happened in the last four years. After a year of dating, you two moved into a small apartment together that was only ten minutes away from your college. You both graduated college with your degrees and are currently working for your dream companies. You’ve both been on endless vacations from New York, Chicago, Canada, Milan, and London to name a few. Four years later and you still couldn’t believe the life you’ve built with Jaehyun so far.

It's a Friday night and you couldn’t wait to walk into your apartment and change into more comfortable clothes and snuggle with your boyfriend. What you didn’t expect is to be met with almost an empty apartment.

“Baby are you home?” you yell out as you take off your shoes by the door. The lights are on, his shoes are by the door, but there was no one in sight. Usually, you could hear your boyfriend anywhere in the apartment due to him having a heavy hand and being the clumsy dork he is.

“Babe?” you yell out once more as you walk further into the living room. That is when you see a note on the couch. You pick it up and read it as a smile forms on your face and the butterflies swarm in your tummy again.

Follow the rose pedals cutie.

You look down and sure enough, there are roses on the ground leading you out of the living room. You follow exactly what your boyfriend said until you reach your kitchen island with another note.

Remember this last minute trip to New York and we were in such a rush we forgot to bring jackets and we almost froze to death?

You laugh out loud because that specific trip was one of your most treasured ones with him. You both were so excited to be doing this last minute that you were not prepared whatsoever and forgot it was winter. You look up and there is a photo of you both snuggling close together in front of the Winter Garden Theatre.

You look around hoping to see him, but there was more roses to follow. At each random stop in your apartment, there was a note or a favorite memory and pictures. The roses end their trail on the balcony and as you step on that’s when you see him.

Soft music is playing in the background, lit candles are everywhere, and there is a table in the middle of your small patio. Your eyes find Jaehyun’s loving eyes and you take in his outfit – black and white suit. You look past him and see a wall full of pictures of your time together, balloons hanging from the ceiling, along with dangling lights.

“Jae, what is all of this?” you chuckle with tears forming in your eyes.

Jaehyun walks over to you and gives you a tender kiss. “Hi.” He gives you his dimple smile and turns around to give you a glass of champagne.

“Is there a special occasion I forgot about?” you softly giggle trying to mentally picture your full packed schedule.

“Y/N LY/N. You are the most beautiful person I’ve ever laid my eyes on.” Jaehyun tells you. “You are always there whenever I need guiding and always know how to make me smile. If I’m having a horrible day, you know just what to say to make it better. Your laugh is contagious and music to my ears and I swear you give me serotonin every single time. You are my best friend, my rock, and the person I am madly, deeply in love with. There is no other person I’d rather spend the rest of my life with, so that is why I have to ask,” He gets down on one knee and takes out a black box and opens it, “Y/N, would you do me this honor and be my wife for forever?” In the black box laid the most beautiful diamond ring you’ve ever seen.

You look away from the ring and into his glistening eyes. God you love this man so much. You wipe your tears as you nod fiercely. “Yes! Yes and yes! A million times yes!” Jaehyun smiles widely taking the ring out with shaking hands and placing it on your fourth finger. He gets up and kisses you passionately as he holds you tight in his embrace.

“I love you Mrs. Jeong.” He says.

“And I love you Mr. Jeong.” You laugh before going in for another kiss.

That night you two made endless love that you swear you heard your neighbor banging on the wall for you both to shut up.

The following week, you both announced the news to your family and friends and as expected, everyone is happy for you both. You couldn’t stop smiling and you couldn’t wait to start planning your dream wedding to the love of your life. You couldn’t wait for your future.

the drunk night

It has been eight months since you got engaged and an exhausting but exciting eight months. The wedding date was set to hold in fourth months. As much as you were excited in the process of planning your wedding and building your forever with Jaehyun, he didn’t seem too excited in the last month or so. You would try to get his input about the cake, the venue, the guest list, the location, down to the color schemes and all you’ve got in return was a “choose whichever makes you happy.”

Sure, if this was any other person, you’d look the other way and just be glad to plan it, except, this is Jaehyun. The one who makes it obvious and known when he’s excited, tired, angry, frustrated, annoyed, disappointed, and all other emotions in between. You’ve noticed him becoming less excited and more exhausted whenever the topic of the wedding comes up.

You couldn’t pinpoint exactly what was making him feel anxious or brushing it off like it was nothing. You’ve tried multiple times to coax it out of him and yet all you got in return was a snappy attitude and him repeatedly saying, “it’s nothing.”

It is 10:30 on a Saturday night and Jaehyun still hasn’t come home. You’ve called and texted him multiple times only for his phone go straight to voicemail and no text back. You were starting to get worried since he always made sure to check in with you if he was going to be out late.

Four hours passed and still the same outcome. You scroll through your contacts to find his best friend’s phone number. Just as you are about to dial Johnny, you hear the door unlock and there walks in your fiancé. Your very drunk fiancé.

Jaehyun is notoriously known to have a high alcohol intolerance since college, so the fact that he is bat shit drunk in front of you tells you he was clearly drinking something away.

“Ow. Shit.” He mumbles as he stumbles to the floor. You jump from the couch and ran straight to him. “Oh hi honey. You’re still up?” He gives you a lopsided smile.

“How much did you drink Jae?” you ask worriedly. You’ve never seen this side of him before.

“Just enough.” He sighs deeply and attempts to get up only for his movements to be sluggish.

You get up and attempt to get him off the floor. After the tenth time, you succeeded and stumble to your shared room. “Come on babe, let’s get you to bed.”

“You are so pretty. You’ve always been so pretty Y/N.” he mumbles and begins to poke your cheeks.

“And so are you handsome.” You try to return the same enthusiasm, but to no avail. Inside, your brain kept asking a million different questions of why he drank so much.

“I miss you.” he pouts at you once he laid on the bed.

“I miss you too silly.”

“No, I know. I mean, I just really miss you.”

“I’m always here, what are you talking about bubs.” You chuckle.

“No you’re not. It’s different. It all feels different.”

Just before you’re about to ask him what he meant, he closes his eyes and falls fast asleep. You sigh deeply and do your best to get him out of his jeans and shirt so he could sleep more comfortably.

As you lay next to him, his words kept replaying in your brain and along with that, you begin to think back on how things been between you both lately. Before anxiety could overwhelm you, you force your mind to shut up and try getting some sleep.

The next morning, you woke up to Jaehyun cooking breakfast and for a minute you forgot what happened the night before. You get out of bed and head over to see your fiancé focusing on the egg omelet. For a very drunk person the night before, he seems to be doing okay without a hangover.

“Good morning handsome. It smells good in here.” You warmly smile as you hug him from behind.

“Good morning babe.”

“How are you feeling?” you cautiously ask.

“Doing okay. No hangover it that’s what you’re asking.” He chuckles.

“I wish I had your superpowers. You came home super drunk.”

“Yeah I’m sorry about that. Had too much to drink with Johnny and the boys and just lost count.”

Was it just that? Have you been overthinking about the situation over nothing?

“It’s okay. We all need to get drunk once in a while, though, you’re hard to get off of the floor when you’re that wasted.” You both laugh at that comment and continue on the day with each other.

In the back of your mind, you felt this particular moment was what started it all for what was to come. You wish you had seen the signs sooner.

the blowup

It’s been two months since the night Jaehyun came home drunk and since then, you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around him. You were scared of what was coming or what he had to say if you asked him about what he said. So instead, you pretend that everything was fine in your relationship, when in reality it was the total opposite.

You both felt different and couldn’t come to terms with it.

“I’m not saying that we can’t have both entrees Jaehyun. You’re missing the point.” You say trying to control your temper from boiling over.

“Then who gives a fuck if we have steak or chicken? Or mashed potatoes and carrots? No one is going to give a flying fuck as long as you have the damn wedding Y/N!” Jaehyun exclaims.

It wasn’t that you were afraid of him, its just you’ve never seen him this upset before. You sit there in shock written all over your face.

“Jae-“

“Seriously Y/N, do you really think people are going to judge you for the food you serve them? No. All they care about it having free booze, free meal, and the wedding. That’s all people care about.”

“Well maybe if you have given me your input from the start then we wouldn’t be sitting here talking about entrees!” you finally said as you hit your tipping point. There was no way you were going to get yelled at when you were the only one planning this alone.

“Oh, so now it’s my fault we can’t choose what the hell to eat.” Jaehyun scoffs.

Taking a deep breath as you try to calm yourself down, you try to understand where he is coming from. “Look I get you’re stressed out from the new promotion at work –“

“This has nothing to do with work!”

You frowned at his response, confusion taking over. “Then where is this coming from?”

He deeply sighs annoyingly, “Nowhere.”

You get up from the couch when you start to feel angry, “No, clearly something is bothering you just like it has been for the last couple of months. Spill out Jae, what is going on?”

“It’s nothing, forget about it.”

You were growing more frustrated and couldn’t help the next words to slip out of your mouth, “Are you seeing someone else? Is that it? Is that why you’re so miserable all the time!?”

His eyes widen as he also gets up from the couch. “Of course not! I am not a cheater and you know it!”

“Pft, then what is it because all you’ve been doing lately is give me the same repetitive answers with an attitude for the past several months. So whatever you have to say, just –“

“Fine! I don’t want to get married! There I said it! Are you happy now?”

You both stand there in shock at the words he said. You from hearing it and him for finally saying it out loud.

“What?” you ask in almost a whisper in disbelief.

Jaehyun sighs deeply before letting it out, “I don’t want to get married.”

You are so confused on how this turned an ugly left. “I don’t – I don’t understand. You don’t want to get married anymore?”

“No.” he says sadly.

“Did you ever wanted to get married in the first place?”

He takes a deep breath once again and shakes his head.

Now your entire world is flip upside down.

“Then why would you ask in the first place Jaehyun?” you cried.

“Because you’re you. You’ve always wanted to get married and we kept talking about it, and I thought at the time it was what I wanted as well at the time. I just wanted to make you happy.”

You stand there, your heart breaking into pieces as your mind and heart went to war with each other.

“So you only asked because I wanted to get married?”

“I’m so sorry Y/N. I never meant for this to happen.”

Just like that, the dam in your eyes begin to fall as you try to catch your breath. You didn’t realize you’re crying so hard.

“It’s been four years and you didn’t have it in you to be honest with me? Ab-about our relationship. Do you even still love m-me?”

Silence.

It was getting harder for the words to form and come out of your mouth. All Jaehyun could do in that moment is hold you close and let both of you cry throughout the night.

the hide and seek

Four years. That’s how long you spent your life with someone you thought would be your forever, only for it to go down the drain.

Everyone thought you and Jaehyun would be endgame – your family, friends, co-workers, and strangers alike have told you that both are endgame. Jaehyun has said it. You’ve said it. So, why is it, as you sit on the couch two weeks later, wonder where, when, and how did it all go wrong. How did one precious timeframe of tender loving turn into a disaster nightmare?

“I guess we should talk.” Jaehyun says carefully when he sees you staring into nothing on the couch. He knows it is his fault for why you are in this position and for hurting you.

You didn’t reply to him and felt the other end of the couch dip as he sits down.

It is quiet for a moment before you ask the question that’s been on your mind for the past two weeks “Where do we go from here?”

Jaehyun stares at the wall ahead of him, “I think we both know what needs to happen.” He looks to you and he truly regrets hurting you.

“When did you know?” you ask turning to face him.

“Know what?”

“That you didn’t love me anymore?”

He knew this question was coming, but didn’t expect it to be so hard to tell you the truth. “I still love you Y/N, but it’s not the same as when we first started dating.”

“So, when?”

“Four months ago.”

You nodded your head. That was the time he started coming home late and that one drunken night he came stumbling into your apartment. You think back to last year and try to analyze where you went wrong, though the only thing you can think of was you both were committed to your jobs. Which resulted in not having enough time for each other and as far as sex goes it happened at least twice a month.

Damn, even the sex was lacking when you both used to have crazy sex.

“Why didn’t you just come and talk to me? We could have worked something out you know.” You say sadly.

“Yeah, but what would be the point? You finally got that promotion you’ve been wanting right after New Years and I ended up covering more hours at work. We didn’t have time for each other and if we did, it was mostly sleeping in from how exhausted we were.”

“But you’re my fiancé, boyfriend, whatever. We should have still communicated Jaehyun.”

“I know and that is my fault. I will admit and own up to that. I thought if I proposed to you, it would bring back the love I felt for you, but it never did. So, instead of manning up, I was a coward and held in my true feelings in order to save you the heartbreak, but I see now I was wrong.”

“If we had never fought two weeks ago, would you have said something? Would you have called off the wedding when it was time?”

At that Jaehyun became quiet. “I don’t know.”

You couldn’t handle sitting on the couch any longer with the man you still love and hear his honesty. You wanted to scream, throw his things out the door, break something, but instead, you just left the living room in defeat.

That night he slept in the guest room, while you slept by yourself in your once shared mastered bedroom. That arrangement continued for another two weeks. It shouldn’t be like this. None of this should even be happening. Maybe it was due to the upcoming embarrassment of you two breaking up and telling your friends and family about it. As much as you try to find ways to still be in a relationship with Jaehyun, you knew deep down that if he no longer loved you, there isn’t much of a relationship.

You knew what the next step is and as much as you don’t want to face it, it’s best if you both start to move forward with your own lives.

You walk into the living room where he is slouched on the couch mindlessly watching the TV. You take a deep breath to gather all your courage. “I think we should officially break up.”

Jaehyun’s eyes find yours in an instant and straightens up. He just gives you a small nod.

“I found some apartment listings so I’ll move out in a few weeks or so.” you gave him a nod and turn back to your room.

The look on his face is either from the surprise break up or shock that you’re the one moving out. To be honest, he shouldn’t be feeling either emotions because this would have been the outcome one way or another and he knew that.

He just didn’t think it would hurt him this much.

the end

Few weeks or so turned into a month because holy shit apartment searching is hell. There was no way you’re moving back with your parents or crashing at your friends places. Living with your ex was new. Sure, the first few days were awkward as you try to not bump into each other or walk into bathrooms when being used. Later, you both somehow managed to make it work – by coming home late and leaving early.

After finally finding an apartment near your work, you start packing your things. As you pack the last remaining items, you never realized you had so many things. You decided to take a break and have a nice long hot shower since Jaehyun was still at work. While you’re in the shower, Jaehyun comes home early from work. He hears the soft R&B music coming from your once shared room.

To him, he was grateful that it wasn’t a toxic breakup or any 24/7 bitterness between you both. He kept replaying the night you told him you were moving out and he couldn’t put into words how he felt. Too deep in his thoughts and unaware of your presence, you walk out of your room naked.

It’s something you always do when you’re home alone. Jaehyun’s eyes goes wide from seeing all of you as you try to cover up your body with a towel. It’s a sight he truly missed seeing.

“Oh my god! Jaehyun! You’re home. I’m so sorry.” You say catching your breath and slowing down your heart rate.

All Jaehyun can do is stare at you before nodding, “Yeah, I decided to call it a day.” He quickly turns around as your nipple peaks out of your rushed towel. “I’m going to make some dinner.” He quickly rushes into the kitchen to calm himself down.

Something comes over you the moment you see his back enter the kitchen. You do something, something you haven’t done in a hot second and let your towel fall to the ground. You follow after him naked. Jaehyun has his back to you as he looks at the pantry trying to rid thoughts of you.

“Jae.” You say softly gaining his attention.

Jaehyun turns around and once again gets fluster at you being naked in front of him. He takes in your perfect body and he can’t even remember the last time you had sex. Neither of you can. You guess it has been a while.

You slowly walk up to him as he stands there frozen watching your every move. His eyes meets yours filled with lust and longing. You softly touch his arm and caress it before wrapping them around your waist.

“Y/N-“

“If you don’t want to, I’ll stop.” You interject. You’re super horny and from the way he’s eyeing you, you know he is too, but when he doesn’t make a move or say anything, you figured he wasn’t in the mood. Embarrassment begins to take over as you stop touching him and backing away from his form.

“I’m sorry –“ you begin, but your sentence is cut short when he grabs your waist and clashes your lips together.

The kiss is hungry as if you two are both starved. In a sense, you’re both starving for each other. You take off his shirt revealing his perfect abs and begin to undo his belt. Jaehyun’s lips travel to your jaw, neck, down to your clavicle. Once he’s free of his jeans, he kicks them off and kisses you once more.

His hands goes all over your bare back before giving your ass a squeeze and slapping it earning a gasp from you. He then surprises you by picking you up and sitting you on the counter where he kisses you all over your chest. He kisses both breasts before diving to your right nipple and sucking it as his hand pinches and stimulates the left and repeats the motions.

You gasp as he continues to arouse you and you unconsciously begin moving your hips and wrapping your legs around him.

“Jae.” You whine. He looks up at you, your tit still in his mouth and his hooded eyes are dark. “I need you.” you finally manage to say.

He nods and leaves a trail of kisses up to your lips. With your legs still wrap around him, he picks you up smoothly and walks back to your shared room. He lays you down gently and begin giving the rest of your body kisses down to your core.

“Jaehyun.” You say out of breath because you know he’s teasing you right now.

“Just a little taste first baby.”

He kisses your inner thighs before kissing your clit. His tongue licks your wet folds and you couldn’t help the moan that comes out of your mouth.

“It has been too long.” He says more to himself, but you still heard him.

He dives his tongue into your hole as his nose brushes against your clit. He knows what you want and he gives it to you. He sucks and licks as his digits enters you. You are so horny from all the foreplay, it didn’t take long for you to come.

“That’s my good girl.” He says breathlessly. You look down at him to see your essence on his chin. He holds his hard cock, giving it a few pumps before getting off his knees to crawl over you. Jaehyun doesn’t give you time to recover when he gathers your wetness and slides between your folds. Jaehyun positions the head directly in front of your soaking hole and slowly pushes himself inside.

No matter how many times you two do this, you never get used to how much he beautifully stretches you out. Inch by inch, you feel every rigid of his perfect cock in you. You gasp when he’s fully seated inside of you and he gives you a minute to catch your breath before you tell him to move.

He doesn’t need to be told twice, but instead of going slow, he surprises you by pulling out to the tip and slamming back into you. He repeats the motion until he’s fucking you hard and fast. Just the way you both like it.

“Fuck you are so beautiful. I love the way you take my cock.”

You moan in between gasps, “Always for you.”

Jaehyun changes positions as he sits on his heels, pulling you closer to him and holding up your legs in the air. The position lets him watch your soaked pussy swallow him whole whenever he fucks deeper into you. You hold onto your boobs when he goes faster and fuck you have missed this.

“Jae I’m close.”

“Already going to cum? Hold it in just a bit longer.” His voice is deep.

You do as you’re told and try to hold it in as long as you can until it was too much. “Jaehyun!”

“Come on my dick baby.” You let go as soon as he tells you. The pure bliss takes over every single nerve as you cum hard. Your mouth goes slack, eyes closed, and all Jaehyun can do in that one moment is be mesmerize by your perfection.

He slows his pace down enough to let you catch your breath, but Jaehyun being Jaehyun, that didn’t last long. He hovers over you once more with your legs now by your face. This position makes it so much more intimate and deeper.

“You are so beautiful.”

“I want you to cum in me. Please baby.” How could he not resist you when you begged so cutely and so fucked out. He kisses you hard as his pace returns to animalistic and thrusts harder into you.

“Please daddy. I want it all. I want you to fill me up.” You knew just what to say to get him going. His hips begin to falter as his cock twitches and cums in you.

His moans and groans is so sexy, you almost come again from the sound of it.

“Fuck.” Jaehyun says when he finally catches his breath. You stay in that blissful moment before he pulls out. You feel your mix liquids drip down while he goes into the bathroom to get you a warm towel to clean you up. He discards the towel onto the floor as he lies down next to you pulling the blanket over your naked bodies.

“So that just happened.” You say not knowing exactly what to do next.

“Yeah.” He says staring at the ceiling. Neither of you have ever been in this position before, let alone have random one night stands before you two met all those years ago.

“I’m sorry for what I did and for hurting you.” he breaks the silence.

“I know. As much as I want to hate you for it, I can’t and I don’t. I somehow get it. We just grew apart I guess.” You say quietly. In reality, it was true. You both are two completely different people than you were a year ago or four years ago.

“Can we just stay like this for one night? One last time?” he turns to look at you with pleading eyes. He wants you to say yes. He wants to hold you in his arms and watch Disney movies. He wants to be next to you throughout the night.

You look back at him and give him a sad smile, “One last time.” You whisper. You kiss him as you pull yourself on top to straddle him.

One last time. One last night. You both used it wrap in each other and bring each other to ecstasy and to the heavens above, all for it to repeat until the early morning.

Your by the door not really wanting to leave, but you have to take the first step in moving forward with your life.

“So this is really it isn’t it?” he asks softly.

“Yeah I guess it is.” You whisper.

Somehow seeing the last box by the door and you getting ready to leave, hurt him. It’s strange to see the person you’ve spent four long years with suddenly walking out the door to never return again.

“Thank you Jaehyun for everything.” You look up at him and give him one last kiss on his soft lips. The lips that will for sure take a while to forget. You linger there for a moment taking it all in, before forcing yourself to pick up the box in your arms and walking away. Away from the man you loved – still love – and walk straight into the unknown future.

Jaehyun watches you get into your car and drive off away from him and the home you once shared. For the first time in a long time he wanted to cry. The memories the two of you shared comes rushing back and overwhelms him.

He knows he needed to let you go. He knew he couldn’t go through with the wedding and he knew you deserved someone better than him.

When he couldn’t see your car anymore, he looks around the empty apartment. For the first time in years, Jeong Jaehyun finally lets out all of his pent up emotions. The apartment feeling cold and lonely without you there. Without you in his life.

#jaehyun fic #jaehyun angst #jaehyun smut #jaehyun fluff #jaehyun scenario #jaehyun au #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun oneshot #jaehyun x female reader #jaehyun x reader #nct angst #nct fluff #nct smut #nct fic #nct imagines

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bildads-shoes · 5 months

Text

Pick a song for each letter of your URL, and then tag that many people!

Thank you for tagging me @crawley-fell (:

Burn - David Kushner

If We Were Vampires - Noah Kahan ft. Wesley Schultz

Labour - Paris Paloma

Daydreamer - AURORA

Anything But - Hozier

Dear God - Confetti

Shrike - Hozier

Save Me - Noah Kahan

Highs and Lows - Chance Peña

October Passed Me By - girl in red

Exile - Taylor Swift ft. Bon Iver

Symphony - Imagine Dragons

No need to participate if you don’t fancy it!

@interrogatethecat @rushinintolove @magicalqueerenergy @2davethefish @rubberchickenarmy123 @thesherrinfordfacility @crowleys-hips @ineffabildaddy @superpinknova @saydontgo @afuaart @katspause

#these songs are collectively a window into my soul i adore them all

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perpetuelledaydreaming · 8 months

Text

Ivy | chapter thirteen

listen to: Exile - Taylor Swift ft. Bon Iver | Six Feet Under - Billie Eilish(playlist here)

warning: violence, blood.

word count: 2.1k

series masterlist + read the next chapter early on my ko-fii!!

You frowned slightly when you heard the metal hitting the floor as you closed the water. For a moment, you’d wonder if Rooster had let something fall. Maybe it was his belt. You couldn’t get yourself to care about it as you stepped out of the shower, droplets of water cascading down your skin, but the warmth of the water did little to alleviate the cold, heavy feeling in your heart.

As you wrapped yourself in a towel, you felt like the bathroom vapor was suffocating you, just like the truth. It weighed so much on your body that you could barely move and open that door. Refusing to look at yourself in the mirror, you gazed at the door. Succumbing to familiarity and the fleeting moments of false comfort that led you to break his heart again, and worse, leading to break Jake’s heart again if he ever found out.

And then, there was a loud thud coming from outside the bathroom.

Just like now, sitting in Cyclone’s office, a jolt that snaps you back to reality.

Cyclone’s hands hit the oak desk so loud that it brought you back. Your gaze focuses on him, catching a glimpse of a furious expression etched upon his face. You look down again; you rather avoid the shame you already feel by looking at your blood-stained white tank top. You remember amidst your own turmoil how you ran through your house as soon as you saw Jake’s dog tags on the floor.

Barely dressed, you’d hastily put on some sneakers as you finished pulling the white tank top over your head with the first shorts you’d found. Desperation has fueled your every move since you rushed out of the bathroom, your body still slick with moisture. You can still hear your heart pounding, a wild symphony of guilt, love, and fear.

Even though Cyclone’s barks.

“I don’t know what the hell that was, but I don’t want to see it here again,” he barks, his nostrils flared.

He had been going at it for over an hour. Pete and Solomon watching the whole thing as Jake, Bradley, and you are sat down in front of Cyclone’s desk.

Bradley can feel Maverick’s gaze judging him. His jaw ticks as he fights to remain calm as he watches Cyclone unravel again. His heart is still pounding from the altercation. He has barely felt anything other than anger since he saw the dog tags on your floor. Instead, the only thing that has been playing in his mind is how many times Jake touched you like he did? How many times had the two of you disappeared or called in sick? How many times was he fooled by the both of you?

He glances momentarily at Jake. He’s in a bad shape, worse than Bradley. The pain etched on Jake’s face as he held the ice pack against his nose. It is not broken. Bradley honestly doesn’t understand why; by the way he hit him, it should be broken. Bradley looks away for a moment, gazing down at his hands. He should’ve hit him harder, he thinks at first. As if hitting him harder would force you to take him back, as if hitting harder would take back time.

Bradley wishes he could deny it, that the sight of Jake’s injuries state sparks of vindicative satisfaction, a twisted sense of justice in the sea of pain. But deep down, there lies a lingering pang of shame. It was a shame that he allowed himself to be consumed once more by anger, allowing it to dictate his actions, a thing he’d been avoiding since you two broke up. Harming someone who was never truly at fault. It’s a bitter pill to swallow as he sits there. It’s worse when he glances up at you; he can barely look at all the blood-tainted clothes and skin.

Bradley struggles to find clarity.

Jake does, too, as he stares at Cyclone.

He’s the only one looking at him. The only one brave enough to face what he has done. As he sits there, bruised and hurting, he takes every word of his Admiral seriously. He knows he fucked up, and yet, he can’t find it in himself to regret it. Not after everything.

He’d been so in love with you. He is still so in love with you, that even now, when his whole body is in pain, the thing that hurts the most is the pain in your eyes, mingled with the sense of shame. You can barely look up. You have barely looked at him, not even when he knows that you feel his gaze burning your skin. A part of him wishes that he could hold you, that it wouldn’t be so self-destructive to tell you that everything was fine, that he still wanted you. And then, he thinks again about what just happened. He had been trying to figure it out since the fight. How did Rooster found out?

For a moment, Jake wishes he didn’t love you so much.

Because it dawns on him that you didn’t tell him. Rooster found out on his own. A tinge of regret creeps into his heart. Loving you, he decided, was a blessing and a curse as he witnessed the aftermath of everything that you’d built. A castle on weak terrain, destined to shattered. Perhaps he shouldn’t have allowed himself to love you so deeply. Acting for self-preservation seemed to be the thing that Jake forgot every time he was close to you.

“Now, get the fuck out of this office before I discharge all of you for good,” Cyclone barks one last time, the last words ricocheting through his office for so long that you barely register Jake and Bradley standing up.

And you don’t move. You wanted to stay there and allow them to go their own ways, but as you sat there, you realized for a moment that you were a shell of the person you used to be. The one your father admired, the one your peers came to admire, everything you’d built your character on.

It was gone.

Everything inside you felt like it was pulling you down in that chair. All the guilt and shame forced you to stay there. As if you could avoid the thoughts as if you could avoid the truth. As if you could avoid the reality that this confirmed every bad thing you believed about yourself to be true, that now the things you hoped and prayed that never came to light had come. That now everyone knew how awful of a person you were, the real you, and now everyone would despise you for it.

Even the people you love the most.

But now, one could despise you more than you despise yourself. Suddenly, you felt someone’s hand pulling you up the chair by your forearm. It jolted you back.

“Kid,” Maverick’s voice as he forced you up made you feel like you could suddenly breathe again. It wasn’t forceful. It wasn’t brutal the way he held you. It felt like your father did when you fell down from your bike when you were a kid, and he was worried for you. That same urgency.

You glanced at him.

So many words could’ve been exchanged from that one look. So many that you wouldn’t be able to put them down in writing or ever.

“Go,”

You don’t want to, and he knows that you don’t want to, but then he gazes at the door, and you follow suit. By the end of the hallway, there’s Rooster and Hangman waiting for you for an explanation. You barely registered your legs moving towards them. It all felt like a dream for you.

And then it all hits you like a brick. Your blood burns, rushing around your body as your heart pumps erratically as you finally look at them, horrified at their battered and cut faces, all because of you.

“I am not going to talk about this with you, Bradshaw,” Jake states as he stares at Rooster, his chest puffing up, but you can tell that he is tired.

You can also tell that he isn’t looking at you and that Bradley refuses to stop.

“You just had to swipe in, didn’t you, Seresin?” Bradley continues. “You just had to take her away from me the moment I left her when she was the most vulnerable. You took advantage of her, and she believed you,”

Jake feels his body tensing up.

“I didn’t take advantage of her,” Jake’s voice feels a little bit louder as he gets closer to Bradley. “You are so blind, aren’t you, Bradshaw? She didn’t want you,” his words punctuated by bitterness.

“And she wants you?” Bradley scoffed.

“At least I don’t need to claim her,” Jake responded.

Bradley’s eyes widened for a moment, and your stomach dropped. All too aware of what Jake meant, all too aware of what he was saying.

“Stop it!” you finally intervened, fighting to keep your tears at bay. Bradley and Jake finally turn towards you, but you can still feel the anger in their eyes. They can’t hold your gaze. The sheer anger won’t let them. “This isn’t how it’s supposed to be. I never,” your voice trembles. “I never wanted this to happen. I never wanted to hurt either of you,”

“Hurt?” Bradley asks with a scoff. “Brat, you are fucking breaking us apart,” he spits cruelly at you. Jake remains silent as the words of Bradley settle on you. “How long?”

“What?”

“How long have you been fucking him?” the words come out of Bradley’s mouth like poison. The accusation is hurling at you, piercing your heart, each word carrying a heavy weight of betrayal.

“It is none of your business,” you decide to answer, voice trembling but tinged with a hint of defiance.

Bradley shakes his head. Anger simmers within him as he confronts the truth. He glances at Jake for a moment; he’s looking at you in a way that makes his stomach turn. His tongue darts out as he licks his lips while he glances back at you. The way Jake looks at you gnaws at him. It eats him alive.

He wants to end it.

“But it is because we had sex last night,” Bradley spats out.

The revelation of the secret pierces Jake’s heart. He frowns slightly, and he wipes his head towards you.

“Brat?” he asks, his voice so small and weak. You can feel the betrayal. You can taste it. You gaze back at him, tears streaming down your cheeks as you try your best to feel strong. He knows that you are sorry, but the weight of the confession hangs heavily in the air. Jake looks back at Bradley, and just out of spite, he says it. “The night before you arrived,”

“So, you have been fucking for five months?” Bradley asks in disbelief.

“Jake, he ended it almost a month ago,” you admit, hoping to dispel the notion that you were still with Jake until last night. And yet, it doesn’t feel any better. It doesn’t fix anything. It just makes it so much worse.

“Not even you,” Bradley spits out; his anger remains unabated, his words cut deep. “You sure knew how to keep us dangling on a string. Enjoying the attention, the power?”

You frown and shake your head, taking one step closer before he steps back. In his eyes, you become the puppeteer, reveling in the attention and control you hold over them. Nothing farther from the truth.

“Bradley, you know it is not like that,” the pain etches itself onto your voice as you plead. You want him to understand that your intention was never to play with them, that it was stupid, but you didn’t mean to be cruel.

But you know that nothing can make it right.

“So, how is it?”

“I don’t know!” your voice falters, grappling for words.

The air turns heavier than before, and suddenly, you feel like you cannot breathe. The air is thick with tension, and you can only see the blood and the purple bruises on their faces. The world blurs around you, the words of anger tattoed on your mind as you try to breathe, and your chest turns heavier and heavier. Without a second thought, you turn abruptly and run, your heart pounding in your chest. Each step echoes the urgency of your desire to run away from the emotional battleground behind you, from the chaos you created.

You want to run away mostly from you.

As you disappear from the halfway, a lingering question hangs in the air. Both of them can feel it; there’s no need to say it, but Bradley still goes ahead anyway.

“You know I can make her happier than you ever could, right?” he says.

Jake shakes his head.

“Care to prove it?”

an: I was going to say that I was sorry for not posting, okay I am honestly but also, what the hell? I didn't know moving to USA was going to be so fucking hard. What are these prices?? And why everything is so far away! I miss europe a bit. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter because we are back to regular programming. hopefully if this master doesn't kill my vibe.

Taglist: @laracrofted @double-j @inky-sun @alanadetigy @teenwolf01 @beebslebobs @materialgirl01 @daisyhollyxox @piceous21 @elicheel @supernaturaldawning @midnightdevotion @hangrymama @ashann7 @maverick-wingman @snap-crackle-and-pop-blog @ebonyhogan24 @teddyluvs2sing @happypopcornprincess @untoldshortsofthefandoms @xxshea-barnesxx @sweetheart-im-the-boss @je-suis-prest-rachel @bregarc @imagineteller1 @abaker74 @lilylilyyyyyy @nemtodd-barnes1923 @loveless-simp @fucktthisworld @deliciouslydisturbed365 @laluneveillesesureux @emma8895eb @tandefeaffe @potato-girl99981 @jstarr86 @my-soulmate-is-mycroft @mirrorball-6 @grxcisxhy-wp @that-one-random-writer @dempy @zbeez-outlet @djs8891

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corporalicent · 8 days

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you're not my homeland anymore, so what am i defending now?

exile | taylor swift ft. bon iver

#jackieshauna #jackieshaunaedit #jackie taylor #jackietayloredit #shauna shipman #shaunashipmanedit #yellowjackets #yellowjacketsedit #yellowjacketscentral #shaunajackie #corporalicentedit #corporalicentgifs

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im-not-asleep-my-mind-is-alive · 6 months

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Exile ft. Swifties instead of Bon Iver made me cry

#the eras tour #taylor swift #swifties #folklore #folklovermore #suprise songs #exile #exile ft. Bon Iver

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madonnasarmstho · 7 months

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Taylor Swift Songs That Remind Me Of Twilight Characters 🍎

Carlisle Cullen - Sweet Nothing (Midnights) - epiphany (evermore)

Esme Cullen - Everything Has Changed ft. Ed Sheeran (Red) - tolerate it (evermore)

Jasper Whitlock - Enchanted (Speak Now) - cowboy like me (evermore)

Alice Cullen - mirrorball (folklore) - A Place in this World (Debut)

Emmett Cullen - Stay Stay Stay (Red) - Begin Again (Red)

Rosalie Hale - long story short (evermore) - peace (folklore)

Edward Cullen - Timeless (Speak Now T.V.) - the lakes (folklore)

Bella Swan - Love Story (Fearless) - hoax (folklore)

Jacob Black - Stay Beautiful (Debut) - exile ft. Bon Iver (folklore)

Renesmee Cullen - invisible string (folklore) - Never Grow Up (Speak Now)

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goldenbuckyyy · 2 years

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EXILE

Summary: Don’t Worry Darling movie premier leads to events that you didn’t expect.

Pairings: Harry Styles x Fem!Reader (exs), Sebastian Stan x Reader

Word Count: 5.4kish

Warnings: One big thing is non-consensual kissing, crying, brief altercation of physical fight between two people, anything else? Let me know pls

A/N: hi! Here’s part 4 of my power mini series! I wasn’t too sure where to go from my last part. I was still a little hesitant on this part, but overall felt satisfaction when I finished it. Thinking of maybe doing only one more part? And it’ll probably be a time jump! Song inspiration for this part: “Exile” by Taylor Swift ft. Bon Iver

Also this is a repost because my original post wasn’t coming out in the tags! 🥺

All mistakes are my own. Please do not repost or translate my fics on any other side nor this one.

I appreciate any likes, reblogs, messages, and interactions.

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

September 6th, 2022.

Venice, Italy.

2:13AM.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Your boyfriend's soft voice breaks the silence in the room.

You don’t look at him, instead you focus on your nails. Two of them broke off earlier at the after party. You pick at the remaining piece to try and get it off. You still couldn’t wrap your head around the events that had happened tonight.

You feel his warm hand touch yours to stop you.

“Look at me,” he demands. His tone is not rough, but airy and delicate. As if you can break any second.

Which isn’t wrong.

You slowly look up at him, your eyelashes touching the skin underneath your eyebrows, feeling wet, and you sniffle when you meet his sky blue eyes.

He gives you a small smile, his lower lip torn but luckily isn’t bleeding anymore.

His touch lingers against your skin, not moving, but waiting for you to react.

“Are you upset with me? Because… because I punched him?” His voice sounds scared, like a small child waiting to get punished. Your eyes go wide, shaking your head, “Of course I’m not. I’m not upset with you… I’m upset with him.”

His eyes soften at your reply, he sighs lowly, and gives you a weak smile.

You feel love in his stare, your heart feeling heavy, but you wrap your fingers in his and pull his palm to your lips. You kiss his hands gently, leaving red lip stains, and he closes his eyes by your gesture.

“I’m here for you,” he whispers and reciprocates your gesture by doing the same.

You pout, lower lip trembling, and you know he’s being honest.

“I know,” you express, wiping away a fallen tear, and meeting his gaze.

“I know we are still taking this relationship slow… going at your pace.. But if you need space,” he pauses for a moment, his hand tightening his hold on yours, and he continues, “I’ll understand.”

You shake your head, “I don’t want space. Not from you. Never from you.” You try your best to explain to him with all honesty in your tone.

“Then please talk to me,” he begs.

You slowly nod your head, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, baby. I just want to know what’s going on in your pretty little head.” He kisses your inner forearm.

“Tonight was…” you trail off.

“Overwhelming,” he states with a sigh and you nod.

“I…” you start and he only waits for you to continue. Your gulp down the lump in your throat, your dress feeling itchy against your skin, and you sigh.

“I know I don’t really speak about him to you.. just during the times it’s needed. And.. and maybe I should have spoken about him more to you. But I was just trying to put my past with him behind me. Because I want a future with you,” you lock eyes with him, his eyes soften, “I’m being one hundred percent truthful right now.. I-I want a future with you. Only you. But…”

You whimper, “But a part of me… a part of me feels guilty. Guilt for staying there and listening to his stupid words. Not being over him. Over Harry.” His name feels foreign leaving your lips.

“Not being over him in the way of not being over what he did to me,” you state.

“He hurt me… he hurt me more than anybody ever has. He loved me one day… and then… and then he left me the next. It blindsided me. How.. how can someone do that to another person?” Your eyebrows crinkling together because you’re finally letting out every single thought you’ve had for the past almost two years.

Your boyfriend caresses your hand slowly, encouraging you to continue.

“I couldn’t think straight for months. I couldn’t… I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep… I had to basically build myself up from scratch from the day he left me. It never got easier. I just had to move on. Just… just like that. I had to move on from being happy and engaged to the person I believed was the love of my life… to suddenly living alone, not engaged anymore… and then hearing he was with the one person I used to admire.”

You feel warm tears falling down your cheeks, you notice your boyfriend hesitating on getting up to comfort you, but you place your other hand on top of his to hold him down instead. You need to speak without being comforted right now. His touch was all you needed right now to feel safe.

“I remember when I saw that photo of him with her at that wedding…” a rush of sadness rushes through your body, “I was shocked. I was truthfully blindsided. Blindsided by everything because I couldn’t believe it. He had left me…left me… for the director of the movie we both starred in.”

You let out a burst of laughter because you couldn’t believe it. Even saying it out loud felt crazy.

“Can you believe them?” Your laugh turns into sobs.

“I hate that he still has this power over me. I hate that he can still make a cry like a fucking baby,” you seethe out.

“I hate how he made me feel tonight,” you cry out in a whimper.

“I hate how he did that to me. I would have never done that. I just.. I-I just don’t understand.”

Your boyfriend decides then to get up, not letting go of your hand, he pulls you up into his arms, holding you in as you cry, wrapping his arms over you, you cry into his chest, finally letting go of all the suppressed anger and tears you had been holding in since you didn’t know how long.

He kisses your forehead, placing his hands on your cheeks, and pulls your chin up to wrap his lips against yours. Your salty tears mix into the kiss, but he doesn't care. He kisses you deeply, showing you how much he loves you with his actions, even if you both haven’t said the three words out loud yet, you can feel it all around you, and you hold him tightly against you.

You pray that he’ll never let you go.

15 hours earlier…

You had intentionally avoided getting to Venice on time because you simply did not want to be in the press conference with Harry and her.

Your assistant, Ellie, told Olivia after many messages and calls to Ellie’s cell phone that you would not be attending. You made the excuse that you were too busy filming another movie in a secure location to attend the event that early.

But yet, here you were… arriving right after the press conference had started with a big smile on your face and Sebastian by your side.

You held onto Sebastian’s hand tightly as you waved at the paparazzi snapping millions of photos of you two. You were a bit nervous at entering Italy with Sebastian since you two have been official for a while now, but you needed him by your side today.

Sebastian only held you close, giving his dazzling smile to the photographers, and you soon made it to your hotel.

You both walked into your shared suite, kicking off your heels, and throwing yourself onto the king sized bed.

You let out a loud laugh when Sebastian plops on top of you, giggling as you kiss his lips, gasping out, “Get off of me, you big teddy bear!”

He lets out a laugh into your neck, kissing you there, and gets up. He starts unbuttoning his breezy button down, kicking off his shoes, and lays down next to you in only his tight briefs. You get up and do the same, wanting to cuddle with his naked skin, before you have to get ready for the night.

Your body intertwines with his, easily and as if it’s second nature, and he holds you against his chest while his hand goes into your hair to play the strands. You inhale his sweet scent, feeling warm and safe, and cuddle into him.

His chest moves up steadily, your nails grazing up and down, and you both lay there silently.

“Are you nervous?”

You look up at him, adjusting yourself to face him, “A little.” You reply honestly, not bothering to hide that you are.

He nods, “I’ll be there the entire time.”

You kiss his cheek before kissing his lips, “I know. Thank you for coming.”

“Of course, my love.”

You guys are able to cuddle for maybe two hours before you are rudely interrupted by multiple people waiting outside of your hotel room.

“It’s time,” he whispers, placing a kiss on your forehead, squeezing your shoulders, and you swiftly get up. You wrap yourself in the hotel robe and Sebastian does the same.

You open the door to your team which they all pile in carrying multiple bags and pull in a rack which is holding your covered dress and Sebastian's tuxedo.

You sit in the chair, anxiously waiting for your team to start, and Sebastian smiles at you from the bed. Which he’s sitting on and admiring you. His eyes twinkled underneath the lights. Your heart flutters at the sight of him.

Your team gets to work and you slowly daze out, letting your team pamper you, and you feel light as they work on you. You let yourself relax into the chair, closing your eyes to let them work on you, and you hear Sebastian playing your favorite music from his phone.

Your makeup team had decided on doing a light makeup look, with a bold cherry red lip, and your hair was styled away from your face. Azkiel, your hairstylist, had styled it into curls that fell down your back. He sprayed down your loose strands and gave a kiss to the air when he saw his finished product.

“You look beautiful, my dear.” He gives you a smile as he steps aside to let yourself look into the mirror.

You smile slightly as you look at yourself in the mirror, feeling prideful at how beautiful you look, and you tilt your head side to side to admire the work they did on you.

You look at Sebastian, who is coming out of the restroom in his all black suit, and give him a big smile. His eyes melt when he sees you.

“Beautiful,” he says with a wink and his signature smile.

You stand up to change, your assistant Ellie follows you into the bathroom to help you, and you pull off your robe. Ellie has seen you naked plenty of times since she’s been with you for years now.

You still blush as you take off your robe, Ellie rolls her eyes at you, and laughs. “I’ve seen you naked how many times, babe?”

“Stop it,” you say flustered as she helps you into your dress.

You stand in front of the mirror, adjusting the front, while Ellie hooks the neck part together, fixing your hair, and zips up the zipper at your waist.

You adjust your breasts at the open neckline which falls to above your naval, smiling to yourself because you feel sexy, and Ellie lets out a low whistle.

“You look hot,” she states with a big smile. You put on your simple pair of diamond earrings, your favorite silver rings, and smile at her.

“Thanks,” you breathe out, starting to feel nervous, and Ellie opens the door for you to go back into the room.

Sebastian is fixing his hair in the mirror when he notices you come out, his eyes go wide, and he twirls back to face you.

You walk up to him, smiling, and he sets his hands on your exposed back.

“You look breath-taking,” he says, placing a kiss on your cheek gently, and goes back to admiring you.

“Yeah?” You ask, beaming up at him. He steps aside to allow you to stand in front of him and you both look at your reflection in the mirror. You sigh happily as you fluff your dress out, admiring the deep neckline, the side of your breasts showing from the opening, and you love it. You love the way it hugged your curves and the red lips complimented the dress perfectly.

“Always.”

You smile with a hum, sitting down to slip your feet into your black heels, and Sebastian bends down to help you strap them around your ankle.

He kisses the inside of your ankle, shivers run down your back, and you shake your head at him. Once he’s done, you stand up in front of him. You mess with the tulle of your dress, pressing down, “You don’t think it’s too out there?” Your insecurity is peaking out slightly.

“Never. You’re the lead actress. This film is all about you, honey.”

You nod at his words, shoving down the insecurity, and holding your head up high.

“Ready?” Ellie asks, exiting the bathroom in her own black dress, it’s simple but elegant, and she still looks beautiful. Her beautiful blonde bob framed her heart face perfectly. You think she looks beautiful.

“You look lovely,” you say to her and she brushes you off, her cheeks tinting pink.

“Thank you, hun. We’re running late, let’s go.” She walks hastily in the room in her heels, grabbing all the important stuff, shoving it into her purse, and you roll your eyes.

You don’t feel rushed. “There’s no rush, Ellie belly. Who cares if we’re late?”

Sebastian lets out a laugh, placing his hand on your open back, and you both walk out to the awaiting black SUV.

The ride to the red carpet is a quiet one, your nerves filling you up, and Sebastian knows. He knows without you saying anything and simply holds your hand in his to ground you.

You soon arrive infront of the red carpet, you peer out of the window, and see that everybody has already arrived. You see them all walking down the red carpet, posing for photos, and the paparazzi is going crazy. All you see is bright flashes and loud screams from all the fans. You gulp at the sight.

Sebastian kisses the inner corner of your wrist, you turn to look at him, and give him a weak smile.

“I’m going to get off now, baby.” You nod at him, letting out a shaky breath, “I’ll be waiting for you at the end.”

He leans in to kiss your lips softly to not ruin your lipstick. You hum in content.

Ellie knocks on the window once Sebastian pulls away and they both exit the SUV.

Ellie waits on the edge of the red carpet for you while Sebastian walks the red carpet with his sensational smile on his face.

Your heart warms as you watch him pose for a couple photos and you can hear the screams. He’s a big actor and you know people will know you’re coming next since he’s here already.

You grip your hands together, slightly shaking as you feel like you might vomit, and you quickly check your make up in your compact mirror. You smile to check if you have any lipstick stains and adjust your dress one last time.

This was your first time at the Venice Film Festival and you closed your eyes for a second to relax. You brush off the nerves and knock on the window.

As soon as the door opens, you hear the screaming and the chanting of your name. The flashing of the cameras always blind you, but you step out of the car with a smile on your face.

You adjust your dress while Ellie adjusts the back of it to make sure it’s perfect.

You pose for the cameras in front of you and you walk down the red carpet. You hold your head up high, the smile never leaving your face, and happiness is almost bursting from your chest.

You stand proud as you walk the carpet, waving at the fans that are trying to get your attention, and make your way towards them.

You smile for different cameras, sign different things for your fans, and speak to a couple of them.

You even do an interview with someone in Italian for the festival. One of the questions made you laugh when he said to you, “Your role was so inspirational.”

“Really? What was so inspirational about it?” You asked with a sweet smile, battling your eyelashes at him.

The poor man flushed furiously and stumbled with his words after that.

You had even made a comment about how it was inspiring to say no on and off the screen.

“How did you feel about the feminine power your director insisted the movie is about?”

You burst out into a giggle, covering your mouth with your hand, and you look at him with a dazed look.

“Feminist empowerment? Maybe misogynistic empowerment, I believe. Not too sure what she's on about, honestly. But maybe the director has a different view point.” You say with a shrug and a sly smile.

The interview ended soon after that, but you didn’t mind one bit.

You soon make your way stop at the end of the paparazzi photo line up.

You pose in different angles and you can hear different paparazzi shouting for Sebastian to come stand next to you. Everybody wanting to have the first official photo of you two in public.

You peer at Sebastian, only looking at him, and avoiding everybody else for the moment. He’s shaking his head no to the paparazzi until he sees you looking at him. You wave your hand at him to join you and he breaks out into a smile.

You both melt into each other. Your arm landing on his back, his arm wrapping around your waist, and you place your free hand on his chest. Melting into his side with a beaming smile.

You couldn’t wait to see these photos online and to frame one.

You both pull away when you think they’ve gotten enough. You turn to the awaiting cast members, laughing loudly when you see them all with their cameras photo yelling at you to pose for them, you jokingly pose crazily for them, Sebastian laughing along with you, and you feel so happy seeing all your DWD cast members.

Chris Pine on his knees taking pictures of you with a disposable camera, Nick Kroll right next to him snapping shots with his iPhone, and Gemma laughing loudly behind them.

You and Sebastian say hello to them all. Gemma and Sebastian catching up since they are both Marvel actors and speaking about their next movie.

Chris is the last one you see, he wraps his arms around you, and squeezes you tightly in his arms. He always treated you so well. As if you were a daughter to him, always giving you advice when you asked, and even checking up on you constantly since DWD filming ended. Him knowing personally about the situation that occurred after filming finished. He absolutely hated Olivia and Harry with the same passion as you.

Your heart was bursting with happiness at merely being close to him again. “You are a gem!” You beam at his compliment as you both fall easily into a conversation about what you both had been up too. Him complimenting you on ‘Fresh’ and saying you did phenomenal.

You even take photos with the cast members with Chris and Gemma standing on your side, not allowing Harry and Olivia to get close to you.

You had never been more thankful for them than you were right now.

You all disbursed after the photos and went back to your previous conversation with Chris.

In the corner of your eyes, you can see Harry and Olivia hovering around. You try your best to avoid their eyes. You can see Harry staring at Sebastian with a disdained look. You didn’t even look at them long enough to take notice of what they were wearing.

Sebastian avoids them as well, not bothering to turn their way, and once his conversation finishes with Gemma, he walks back towards you and says hello to Chris. You and Sebastian talk quietly amongst each other, smiling and giggling together, and then you see Olivia walking towards you from behind him.

Your face falls slightly which causes Sebastian to stop mid sentence and turns slightly to look behind him.

He spots Olivia walking towards you with a big smile on her face, Harry walking behind her, your eyes widen when Sebastian looks back at you, your mouth frowning at the sight of her, and Sebastian moves to cover you quickly.

Your eyes met his and you feel furious at the fact that she’s even coming towards you guys. Your hands grip onto his as you think about the audacity she has coming towards you.

Fuck her. Everything went downhill after you accepted the lead role for her fucking movie.

You see Olivia right behind Sebastian about to say something, but you quickly wrap your arm into Sebastian’s and walk away from her.

You look back at her, angrily, and watch in satisfaction as her face falls. Chris notices the situation and falls into step walking behind you with Gemma to create more distance between you and them as you all walk inside with you leading. Not even having to say a word to them, not even a look, and they just knew.

You ignore the icy stare you feel from Harry. Not even looking at him either.

You wrap your arm around Sebastian tighter as you walk into the theater lobby. You huddle with him in a corner with Chris, Gemma, Nick, and his wife. You all carry conversation before going into the theater.

You watch Olivia and Harry make their way into the theater first. Your eyes meet Harry’s for a brief moment because you look away and peer up at Sebastian. He’s smiling at Chris at something he said, but his hand never leaves your skin. Always holding your shoulder or your waist, or simply your fingertips in his.

You cuddle into his side, feeling content, and soon the staff is letting you know it’s time to go watch the movie.

Chris and Gemma go in first while Sebastian holds your waist to walk in front of him. You walk inside, Sebastian kissing your cheek as he goes to sit in the row behind you, and you follow Chris to your seat.

You stop as you see your name next to Harry who is sitting next to Olivia. They both look at you. Harry’s face shows no emotion while Olivia is smiling at you. You avoid their eyes, looking at Chris for help, and he shuffles to the seat next to Harry.

He looks at the names on the seats, rips off your name and falls into the chair with a loud huff.

Harry looks at him with a raised eyebrow and is about to speak, but then Chris says, “They must have made a mistake.” Harry purses his lips and looks away from him.

You mouth a thank you and squeeze his shoulder in appreciation. You sit down next to him as Gemma sits next to you. Along with the rest of the cast.

You peer behind you to smile at Sebastian, he smiles back, and places his hand on your shoulder to give you a gentle squeeze.

Soon enough the movie begins and you have to avoid cringing in your seat. Not because of the movie itself but because you feel awkward watching yourself in this movie with Harry.

It wasn’t how you felt with Sebastian when you watched Fresh together at the premiere. You had watched it side by side, smiling and laughing together, and you felt happy the entire time.

Now you feel weird watching the scenes with Harry kissing you and the sex scenes make you peer at Sebastian every time.

All he does is smirk at you and give you a wink. Never making you feel awful that he’s watching this. You know in his mind this movie is just you acting. But you know this movie is a movie you did with your fiancée at the time. It feels awful because you really did love Harry throughout the entire thing.

You try to black out the whole movie. When the standing ovation is happening, you smile at everybody, staying until the end of it, and once the clapping stops.. you hurry out the theater. Waiting for Sebastian at the entrance and you both walk out to the awaiting care.

Sebastian pulls you into a heated kiss in the car, wrapping his arms around your waist, and mumbles into your ear, “You did amazing, baby. A fucking amazing actress.”

Your driver drives you both to the secluded after party that’s happening at a rented out venue that was for the entire cast, crew, and the attending DWD crowd.

You pull away from Sebastian’s lips, panting, and you wipe his pouting lips with your thumb. He pulls your thumb into his mouth, sucking slowly, and you moan at his gestures.

“Stop it,” you tease him with a giggle.

Soon enough you were both at the after party, enjoying yourself with all your cast members. Olivia and Harry were secluded on their own, speaking to different members, but it was an unspoken rule that you were not interacting with them at all.

You were already a couple drinks in when you whispered to Sebastian that you were going to go to the backyard of the venue for a breather. He asks you if you want him to come with you, but you shake your head no and kiss his lips.

You stand by the glowing lights that illuminate from the pool, sipping on your drink, and enjoying the quietness around you. Enjoying this peaceful moment.

You almost jump out of your bones when you hear someone speak behind you.

“You look lovely.”

“Jesus!” You yell out with a hand on your chest, frightened slightly by Harry’s voice, and you twirl around to look at him.

You finally look at him for the first time tonight. He’s still wearing a suit, but his hair is messed up and he has a buzzed look on his face. The buzzed look of his when he’s had too much to drink for the night.

You sip on your drink as you look at him. Not ready for whatever he’s going to say. You twirl the liquid in its glass as you wait for him to say something.

“You’ve moved on, huh?”

You roll your eyes, scoffing “Give me a break, Harry. Of course I’ve moved on. You did before we even broke up.”

Harry’s face falls, his lips turning down into a frown, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Y/N.” He steps closer to you, but you don’t move. You only stare at him with a sad look.

You gulp down the rest of your drink, warmth filling your belly, and your skin feels hot.

“You know… I’m really happy with Sebastian. I can honestly see a future with him. As crazy.. as crazy as it may sound. I-I do, I really do. I never…” you pause, Harry listening to you intently, “I never thought I would move on from you.” You snort a laugh as you say that out loud.

“I always thought it would be me and you, you know? We had our entire future figured out.” Your eyes narrow at his, “But you had to fuck it up, Harry.”

Harry drops his glass onto the grass nearby and steps even closer to you, “I did, too.” He admits, “I wish.. I wish I hadn’t fucked it all up. I… I don’t know why I did what I did. I was an idiot. I'm still an idiot… I, fuck, I never thought I would ever look at someone else.. ever.. when I was with you… you were it.”

Suddenly, his hands are gripping yours. You furr your eyebrows at him, trying to tug your hands out of his hold, but he doesn’t budge.

“If we could go back, would you give me another shot?” His eyes wide, looking at you, and you part your mouth open in shock.

“I still love you so much,” he admits and you want to slap him. “I’m so in love with you. It kills me to see you with him. It drives me insane. I-I wish I could go back.. I want to go back and change what I did,” tears fill his eyes, “I want you. I need you.”

He reaches down to try and kiss you, you instantly pull back quickly, trying to shove him off of you, “Get off me! What are you doing?!” You try to push him off, his hands gripping your wrist tightly, and you cry out as his lips touch yours harshly.

You can’t believe this is happening.

His lips move roughly against yours, tugging your hands away from his tight hold, but he doesn’t budge. You open your mouth to cry out, but he forcefully pushes his tongue inside of your mouth. Tequila fills your taste buds and tears fill your eyes.

You manage to pull away from him, crying, and trying to shove him away from you still.

“Harry, stop!! Harry, please stop!” You yell out as he drunkenly tries to kiss you again.

For the first time, you feel scared of him. You have never been scared of Harry before. You’re trying to shove him off, the pain of your nails breaking against his chest feels like nothing compared to the fear you feel right now, and you wonder how you got here.

In what world were you afraid of Harry?

You want Sebastian.

Where is he?

In an instant, Harry is ripped away from you and punched in the face. Harry tumbles to his side, mumbling profanities as he almost falls down to the cemented floor, and you step back quickly.

“Ohmygod!” You cry out covering your mouth as you see Sebastian punching his face, furiously and angrily, and now there’s a crowd forming around them in shock.

Gemma wrapping her arms around you to comfort you when she notices you crying, Harry punching Sebastian, his lip splitting open, Olivia watching in shock and trying to figure out what is happening.

“Don’t ever fucking touch her again!!” Sebastian yells at Harry as he pulls his fist back to punch him again, gripping him by his coat, and Harry’s right eye is swelling shut now.

You cry out his name, Sebastian throwing Harry to the ground with a big shove, and he quickly turns to you. Blood rushed down his split lip and down his neck slightly. You cry harder at the sight of him being hurt.

He pulls you out of Gemma's embrace, wrapping his arms around you, holding you tight, one hand in your hair, and the other holding you close. He’s kissing your head repeatedly and whispering that it’s okay. That you’re safe now in his arms.

“Let’s go,” he says as he holds you in his arms, hidden away from all the confused stares, and you suddenly feel someone pulling you away from his arms.

You yelp as you see Olivia holding your arm in hers, angry eyes, “What did you do?!”

You pull your hand out of her hold and instantly slap her hard. The smack is heard by everyone and it’s instantly quiet aside from the gasps around you.

She’s holding her cheek in pain, tears filling her eyes because of it, Harry is stumbling to his feet watching you two in shock, his nose bleeding, and you shove Olivia away from you.

“Get the fuck away from you, you homewrecking bitch!” You yell at her loudly and see red. You feel rage seeing her, your heartbeat racing in anger now, and you feel flushed from your neck down.

“Don’t fucking touch me ever again, you stupid bitch.” You spat at her, wrapping your arms around Sebastian, and you both exit the venue quickly. Paparazzi snapping shots of you, a million questions coming your way, ignoring them all, you both hide your faces as you walk to the car quickly, and you both sigh loudly as you relax into the seats.

You cry into your hands. Not believing what had just happened.

Sebastian pulls you into his lap, the driver putting the partition up when he notices you're sitting on his lap, arms wrapped around him, and he wipes away your tears.

You thump away the blood from his lips, kissing him gently, he tries not to hiss at the pressure he feels, and kisses you back slowly.

“Did he hurt you?” His blue eyes fill with worry, lips frowning.

You kiss his cheeks, shaking your head slightly. “You saved me,” you whisper, placing your forehead against his.

“You’re safe with me,” he says in a low voice, arms wrapping around you.

You nuzzle yourself into him, letting yourself relax in his arms, “I know.”

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