#extreme self-reliance

[furiousgoldfish]

Which ones of these arbitrary trauma-induced rules do you follow?

No spending money, ever. what if you need it later and your life depends on it.

Assume that all strangers are 3 seconds close to becoming hostile. fawn to keep them friendly.

No delegating tasks. no telling other people to do things you could potentially do yourself. what if they mess up.

Assume that everyone will consider you a burden if you do 1 single mistake that inconveniences them. do all that is possible to not make that mistake.

Do not admit when things are going wrong. wait until theres no other option but to ask for help, and even then consider not doing that.

Always act like you're okay. not doing so might make you seem 'not normal' and 'accused of being crazy and unstable'.

Do anything for friends, even if it sounds weird, dodgy, illegal. you want to prove that you're fun and easy going and helpful and useful and extremely cool with anything.

Never let it show if you're suspicious of someone. never say out loud that you think their intentions are bad. that might set them off.

If hurt, hide and isolate. Do not let anyone see you hurt.

Do not ask help for problems you feel are your own responsibility to solve. Even if you don't see yourself solving them successfully. If you can't do it, assume nobody can help you.

Help others to try and build positive relationships. Don't accept help so you don't end up relying on them for anything.

Do not start things that involve help or participation from other people. People are not reliable.

Assume that institutions, government, police, social services, and any kind of groups of people are all considering you a nuisance, and would attack you on sight, in every single situation. Never rely on them or assume they would do anything else.

No arguing, confronting, or standing up for yourself unless the situation is absolutely unsurvivable otherwise. Lay low until doing otherwise is seriously damaging your mental health and ability to live.

Give up on hopeful social encounters before they disappoint you. If you have to interact with people, assume the worst is about to happen.

No allowing yourself to idealize, or dream of positive future with people. It's a trap and your expectations need to be either extremely realistic or low.

Assume that fancy and expensive things don't exist for you. Despise them and get away from them.

No comparing yourself and your life to how other people live. It causes depression and despair. Other people's lives and standards of living are none of your business.

Do not showcase any skill or brag about any achievement. Jealous people can destroy you for satisfaction.

Assume people think the worst of you and don't consider changing their mind. Just try to keep out of their way.

Do not display anger. You don't want to be called insane or get arrested. You don't know what people could potentially blame you for if you're openly angry. But other angry people are dangerous and you need to get away from them.

If you follow more than half of these, you have a trauma-induced problem. These are not normal or healthy. These are not developed in a healthy environment. These are extremely self-protective, isolating, ruled by terror of the world and the people living in it. If you follow these, something bad has been done to you.

[horridbeaftf]

I suspect hair is really only important to Marcille’s magic because of who Marcille is as a person. In that maintaining and decorating it helps her to better embody her own Self, and so gives her more to work with. It matters that Senshi’s hair is covered in blood and fat because her soul itself rebels at touching something so yucky. She has to neaten him up a bit first

[thevalleyisjolly]

I am nothing if not a backseat writer and I find it somewhat repetitive to continuously defeat the villain through "They were so afraid of my reputation that they just turned and ran" so I'm choosing to believe that the real reason the Vashta Nerada let the Doctor pull off his plan is because they recognized that the planet was about to self-destruct, taking them along with it, and the Doctor was the person best able to prevent that outcome. They weighed letting all the people go as an acceptable one-time price; they could of course renege on the agreement and just eat everyone after they popped back out, but they couldn't guarantee that CAL wouldn't 1) start downloading people again the second anything went wrong, or 2) go into self-destruct mode again. Losing a one-time meal of 4000 odd people is better than losing your life and your planet altogether.

[korusalka]

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[patnaneuro]

Is Wanting to Be Alone a Trauma Response - Know Here!

Staying alone and self independency is a response to people who never had anyone to rely on.

Sometimes, people prefer to spend their time alone because they have never experienced how it is like to be around people or how to trust someone else.

At times, people want to spend some days alone and after a while they want to be with their loved ones. These are all perfectly normal things that an individual can go through.

Although, spending too much time alone can get lonely and frustrating which can become an issue.

Do you feel like you don’t want to talk to people? Does living around people make you want to withdraw in your cocoon?

Do you feel exhausted by the thought of spending time with others? If these are some questions bothering you, contact the best psychiatrist in Patna, Dr. Vivek Pratap Singh. 

Why does trauma make you want to be alone? 

Trauma can make people’s life miserable if they cannot handle the feelings and emotions associated with it.

Most typically, people who have gone through some kind of trauma become very sensitive to loud noises, people caring too much, and can cause distress to people with impaired daily functioning. 

People initially experience intrusive thoughts, repetitive involuntary dreams about the event, or flashbacks to that traumatic event. They can not understand how to deal with these thoughts and feelings.

Due to these unwanted feelings people can react aggressively or get irritable about little things. They don’t want to bother their loved ones with what they are feeling in fear of their judgment.

They are ashamed of what they are going through and sometimes tend to blame themselves. 

Is being too independent a trauma response? 

People with past trauma go through a rollercoaster of emotions and feelings that only they know.

And, not everyone shares these thoughts with other people. These experiences result in an emotional dysregulation leading to unpredictable relationships.

Thus, people have difficulty dealing with emotional connection and feel intense loneliness. This causes isolation trauma response and people get scared to trust others. These feelings lead them to do things by themselves and become independent.

They think only they can handle their feelings and are ashamed to show their vulnerability to their loved ones which makes them only trust themselves. 

These people suffer with identity issues making them question their role and where they fit in the society. Self-esteem issues are very common among these people due to their past experiences.

Somehow the traumatic event can make them doubt their ability to live and function. These feelings of shame lead to isolation and detachment from social interaction thinking it will be futile. 

Is self isolation a trauma response?

Yes, self isolation can be a trauma response! To define a trauma response is how one reacts and has learned to deal with emotions.

The way one responds to this trauma is how they have been taught to deal with emotional feelings in childhood.

When people have had no one to rely on in their childhood, they think that ‘I had a lonely childhood, so I can deal with these fears on my own.’ 

Signs you grew up lonely 

The childhood trauma can project into adulthood with their feelings and emotions affected because of the way they dealt with them in their childhood. Signs that the childhood was lonely are 

Attachment issues such as not being able to rely or trust someone to be there for you. 

Constant neglect in childhood can make you very sensitive to criticism. 

Physical or sexual abuse makes a person socially withdrawn and fearful of strangers and unknown people. 

If a person deals with grief with no show of any emotional feeling, they might have experienced a huge loss in the childhood like losing a parent or caregiver. 

Complex PTSD loneliness

The complex trauma in adults feeling lonely and unloved can be most commonly a result of childhood trauma. People with PTSD suffer from loneliness because 

They believe no one can understand their feelings or what they are going through. 

Most commonly people have associated depression with this disorder making it more difficult for people to reach out for help.

There is a certain stigma around seeking mental health care leading to people avoiding seeking treatment for their symptoms. 

This feeling leads to extreme self reliance as a trauma response. 

What does trauma release feel like? 

The trauma release can help one feel better about themselves. There are various trauma release exercises that have shown to promote mental stability by treating unresolved trauma.

It involves stretching that can relieve muscle tension. Some other exercises are sitting in a squatting position to release the tension. Trauma release exercise helps people deal with their trauma and relax the body. 

Trauma release exercises and about the appropriate response can be helpful for people. To understand more about this, contact the neuropsychiatrist in Patna, Dr. Vivek Pratap Singh. 

[auroratigress]

[3hks]

Flaws to Add to Characters

So, are you searching on how to make your character a little bit less perfect without giving them too many extreme deficiencies? Well, I have a few examples, and some of you guys might've not even realized that they're flaws!

Inability to get over the past - This doesn't have to be as serious as people think! Maybe the past just influenced your character in a way that affects their modern life!

Self-reliance - This doesn't sound like a flaw, doesn't it? Well, in some cases, it could be an issue a character struggles to overcome, and other times, it can actually be a part of a character's development! However, the act of never accepting help from someone is most definitely a shortcoming.

Apathy - I think that this is pretty self-explanatory. Over-passionate people are dangerous, but worse than that are people who don't care enough.

Over-passionate - It's still a flaw, guys! Having too much passion for one thing to the point where nothing else matters is harmful to your character.

Vengeful - Revenge is a strong fuel, but never the answer.

Detached - Almost like self-reliance, but to a more severe degree, where they don't see the need for not only anyone's help, but for anyone in general.

Possessiveness - If a character is too possessive towards another character, it could harm the latter's mental health and ruin any relationship between the two.

Manipulative - Manipulation is detrimental to people's mental health and stability, as they are being used carelessly and left with confusion about their identity, beliefs, and/or purpose!

Self-destructive - Honestly, this has a pretty wide range of examples, it could go from neglecting oneself to actual self-harm. Either way, it's definitely not healthy for a character.

Superiority/God complex - The problem is in the name: a character with these complexes simply believes that they are better than everyone else. It's similar to arrogance, but not quite the same.

Here you go! Ten flaws that you can incorporate in your characters!

Happy writing~

3hks ^^

[weirdplutoprince]

Trauma in Solo leveling

Always haunted by what could have been of Solo Leveling if the narrative acknowledged the inherent trauma vision that guides most of Jin-Woo's actions through the series instead of glorifying him for that.

Like, it is pretty clear to me from the start that a lot of his obsession with self reliance and his increasingly cynical views of the world ("The weak are destined to be betrayed") are a direct response to the double dungeon incident, and in more ways than we initially realize.

I think it's particularly obvious in the way he is paralled with Lee Joohee; while they're both shown to be traumatized from their encounter, Joohee is supposedly 'worse off' than him. She has noticeable flashbacks to that episode and withdraws from life and work in an attempt to avoid possible triggers - becoming paralysed when she fails to do so. And because, while also afraid, Jin-Woo is instead making a point to return to dungeons we are very clearly meant to think that he is moving on when she is not. ...Except that he isn't.

Because, you see, along with withdrawing, the reenactment of a traumatic event is also a very common response to trauma. And so is the risky behaviour that might come with it. And what does Jin-Woo does as soon as he's able to leave the hospital again? Immediately throw himself into dungeons, alone, with a clear disregard for personal safety and an extreme need to both prove himself and give meaning to his near death experience before.

Not only does he goes right back into the very same place his trauma took place, but he seems to subconsciously be trying to recreate said event in a way that gives him control of the situation. This time, he wasn't abandoned to die alone in a dungeon: he did it himself, willingly. He placed himself in that position. And later on, when he risks himself with shady parties he expects to betray him, he seems almost content; once again putting himself in risk by creating a scenario where he is 'abandoned' and 'betrayed' but where he can come off on top. He is desperate to both have his belief confirmed that someone perceived as a weak hunter like he is will always be betrayed, always be left behind, and to fight that supposed fate. To prove that he has 'fixed' this aspect of himself and will thus not fall victim to that consequences of that abandoment again. In fact, he is so detatched from the current scene that he deliberately ignores the fact Yoo Jinho challenges those believes by protecting Jin-Woo, whom he believes to be an E rank at that point.

And were this any other story, all his development from then on would prove the faults of this mindset. The dangers of self reliance, of cutting yourself off from any support network, from depriving himself of any sort of meaningful trust or vulnerability with others. But instead, we're meant to respect the fact he is increasingly isolated from everyone else. That he becomes cold, emotionally withdrawn and paranoid (his refusal to join any of the existing guilds always felt to me like his need for control taken to extreme, plus the fact he could not deal with how exposed he felt working with others again). And I think that's really sad.

It would have been really interesting to have a story that is willing to challenge the notion that he is better off alone, and that trust in others is ultimately unecessary. And that would acknowledged the strength necessary to allow himself to trust and be vulnerable after everything - and the importance of surrounding himself with people he loves and knows will protect him too. Sad 😔

[whimsicalpoet44]

Placements that I think are tough to have & why.

Here's more astrology observations.

**These aren't bad placements. Every placement has positives/negatives to them. I just find these placements to be quite challenging and can take more effort or intentionality than others to work through**

4th House Aries (Especially in the IC): The fourth house is the house of family/home. Aries in the fourth can indicate a really difficult childhood, particularly when it's related to the mother. They may have had a parent that was really impulsive or aggressive that made them responsible for their emotions. As a result, emotional regulation may be something they struggle with and expressing their emotions can make them feel vulnerable. Aries IC can indicate that there's a lot of generational trauma left over from their ancestors that they're having to undo. Positives? They can make quick decisions when necessary and can take charge of family matters with ease.

8th House Placements: The 8th house rules death, re-birth, long term investments, and transformation. That's a lot of heavy themes in one house. They may struggle with loss/grief in more than one area of your life. They say 8th house placements are like a Phoenix - constantly burning themselves down to emerge anew. That can be quite exhausting. I also find that 8th house placements cause an unbalance in personal power. They may spend a majority of their life figuring out how to balance energies. Positives? They make great psychologists, they're super analytical, and they aren't afraid to broach topics others may stray from.

Capricorn/Aquarius Rising: Two words: Saturn ruled. Self reliance can be a good thing, but these placements are often forced to take care of themselves from a young age. Saturn is the planet of restrictions, self-discipline, and self-sufficiency. Often times, our lessons in Saturn are things we must learn alone. Saturn ruled charts have this energy times ten. They face a lot of lessons throughout life. The positives? Natural leaders, persistent, and capable of achieving just about anything they set their mind too, because Saturn has shown them that they can do it alone.

Scorpio Rising: They're ruled by Pluto - the planet of death/re-birth/transformation (much like the 8th house). Saturn ruled charts and Pluto ruled charts have a lot in common. Scorpio Risings are often used to bring about change in different settings. The theme of their life is often growth and transformation - at any expense. They're very private and they trigger others very easily. They may find it difficult to open up to others and may feel a general distrust of others as a whole. They can feel chronically misunderstood. The positives? Literal human lie detector and extremely intuitive.

5th House Chiron: Chiron is the thing we have trouble healing in ourselves, but what we can do a great job healing in others. The fifth house is the house of the inner child/creativity/hobbies/joy. They can be insecure about their creative ability and have a huge lack of joy. This can be traced back to childhood. Someone could have told them they couldn't do something or that they were bad at a particular skill. They second guess themselves a lot as a result. They can also experience a ton of guilt and shame for being happy or having fun. The positive? They can inspire others to be creative when they heal.

Moon Conjunct Saturn: Saturn wants to discipline. The moon wants to nurture. They can feel intense feelings of shame/guilt from reflecting on ways they behaved in the past. It's also an indictor of a harsh childhood and they can internalize their parents wishes/dreams as their own (Saturn = Father | Moon = Mother). There's a constant fear of never reaching their full potential and they can often avoid rest because they don't feel like they're being productive. They also take life really seriously and they're super sensitive. (Remember that sensitivity isn't always bad thing.) The positives? They have a lot of discipline surrounding their emotions and they have a great sense of humor (probably from the trauma).

Aquarius Sun: They don't like being told what to do or think (which can be good), but they can often stay rooted in their old beliefs if they feel someone is pushing their opinions onto them (even though they insist that they're open minded). They can also sometimes end up stuck in a harmful belief system if they feel it's not the norm so they can retain their "unique" persona, rather than actually ask themselves what they believe. (Literally every Aquarius man I've encountered, but this can manifest in anyone with an Aquarius sun). They love people as a whole, but struggle with people on an individual level. They think more in a big picture way, but struggle with the small picture. They can also see everything that needs to be fixed in society, but struggle with the fact that they cannot fix it (leaving them feeling powerless.) The positives? They're unique. They're comfortable with the unusual. They stay true to themselves and who they are.

Gemini Anything: GEMINIS: you are only on this list because of the stigma that follows Gemini's. If you google the most hated sign, you'll get Gemini. Being a Sagittarius, I freaking love Geminis. But they have such a stigma. They can sometimes be impulsive, inconsistent, or indecisive. They also hate routine. I think this is how they get the stigma, because most people have a narrow minded view of how these can present. The positives? They have great charisma and they're usually artistic. They're witty, curious, funny, and passionate. (This is a Gemini love post, let's be honest.) Do some Gemini's present in the stereotypical way? Sure. But I find that many write off all Gemini's and develop a fulfilling prophecy about their intentions.

[tikkunolamresistance]

Zionists really want us to believe they represent all Jews, so I like to come to your page and curl up here with the reminder that the world hasn't completely turned on its head and that they don't actually speak for everyone.

It can be extremely disheartening, we completely understand. To be told you’re a bad, terrible person for wanting liberation for all. That it’s a disgrace to not want to place your own life above anothers. It’s fucked up but, yknow, that’s Capitalism. Zionism is just another branch of the oppressive system we must give our all into dismantling. For the future, for the people. It’s difficult and requires disconnect and discipline and self-reliance. It requires community. That’s why anti-Zionists *must* uphold one another.

Hang in there, you’ve got us if you need anything 🫂

[souryogurt64]

what did they do now

 It is ridiculous that if a random FOB fan posts on their personal account that it rubs them the wrong way that Pete Wentz/FOB, who are infamous for being misogynistic, are suddenly pushing this whole “Deepthroat a middle aged man!! Get him to pay money for your pussy!!! Wear toddler clothes while doing it too!!!” thing— 

— Andy’s much younger influencer wife goes hunting through the dregs of stan Twitter to publicly put this random fan on blast for so-called misogyny. For months, including the DAY before this happened, I had been declining to answer, mincing words, or evading frequent anons asking me my opinion on this topic because I was nervous about this kind of thing happening due to FOB's tendency to micromanage their fanbase. 

I understand being a woman in music or married to a musician can make you a target for misogynistic harassment. But this post had nothing to do with Meredith, was not tagging Carr or commenting directly on her posts, and is a perfectly legitimate opinion to express. Like I’m not even going to start on why this wasn’t OK. 

But most importantly, it is a perfectly justified opinion to have that Fall Out boy pushing this music and imagery does not make women feel empowered and is icky. Here we go 

This type of music 

To start, on some level, Meredith is right. Women have every right to do whatever they want. Having casual sex or a daddy kink or wearing revealing clothing doesn’t make you any less of a feminist. Music expressing women’s sexuality and these aspects of women’s sexuality can absolutely be feminist speech. 

However, the music of women who have pioneered this style often make music about a variety of topics beyond sex. Their songs about sex often contain a high degree of nuance and a three-dimensional view of women’s sexuality, including the negative things women experience. I’m going to explore several cases of this and then contrast them with Carr’s music. 

#1: Ayesha Erotica

Ayesha Erotica is perhaps the best example of sexually graphic TikTok music as a form of female sexual empowerment. However, her songs are not just graphically about fucking dudes, they are more nuanced and subversive than this. 

For example, “Sixteen” is about becoming involved with a 25 year old who wants to “beat her with his cock” and tries to film her underwear when she’s walking around. While she’s initially thrilled by the attention, the chorus is “Wait, what? I’m just sixteen. And if you try anything funny, you’re going to go to jail” and contains lines like “You know that this is wrong, I don’t want your dirty talk.” 

Her tonal delivery on the chorus is important. She starts off sounding scared and confused, and then moves to more aggressive. Ultimately, this song is about a young girl learning to hold her own and rejecting a guy who is treating her in a degrading way because he has a fetish for her underage body. 

Another song, “Literal Legend,” focuses on her own self-confidence and credits iconic women across a variety of backgrounds, including Lindsay Lohan, Bjork, Courtney Love, Rihanna, Janet Jackson, Paris Hilton, Marilyn Monroe, and Madonna. Many of these women’s legacies include moments where feminist issues have been spotlighted in pop culture, such as such as Rihanna being beaten by Chris Brown, Janet Jackson’s breast on MTV, paparazzi taking nonconsensual upskirt photos of Lindsay Lohan’s vagina, et cetera. While sexual at parts, the song also makes a point to highlight her extreme confidence about her small breasts, a feature that men usually mock and find unattractive; this is a subversion of traditional expectations. 

#2 Melanie Martinez 

Melanie Martinez is frequently and harshly criticized for her over-reliance on the shock value of sexualizing children’s clothing and the daddy kink thing. 

Even so, she almost always explores more nuanced themes regarding women’s sexuality in her music. For example, “Cake” is about how she doesn't want to be valued for just sex and wants to be valued as a person.

“Teacher’s Pet” is about a student being groomed by a teacher in exchange for better grades. While the narrator is initially in love with the teacher, lines like “If I’m so special, why am I secret?”, “Stop calling me your bunny,” and “You don't own me,” demonstrate this is a song about a naive girl ultimately understanding this type of relationship is wrong and rejecting him. 

“Tag, You’re It,” is about rape. “Teddy Bear” is about a nice guy who becomes abusive. Many of her songs are also not about sex. “Dollhouse” is about the facade covering a family’s problems, and “Mrs. Potato Head” is about the pressure women feel to get plastic surgery, specifically by husbands and boyfriends. 

While her image often revolves around the shock value of sexualizing things associated with children, her music primarily deals with feminism and feminist topics. (Even if you can argue that it is poorly written or insensitively handled.)

#3 Scene Queen 

Scene Queen is probably the newest artist doing this that has blown up. While this music is highly sexualized and she relies on the “bimbo” aesthetic, there is a high degree of subverting traditional gendered expectations in her music. “Pink Panther” is about a female orgy. “Finger” is about lesbian sex. “18+” is about male musicians grooming underage fans. “Barbie and Ken” is about Barbie killing Ken. 

#4 Megan Thee Stallion

WAP—about being turned on and enjoying sex— is probably one of the biggest moments for women’s sexuality in pop culture and the controversy women singing explicitly about sex causes. Her other songs, though, explore other themes about confidence and empowerment. “Not My Fault” is about confidence and—like Scene Queen’s songs—sex between women. “Wanna Be” is about independence and dumping a guy who treated you wrong, as is her verse on “Beautiful Mistakes.”  “HISS” is about confidence and empowerment despite getting hate online—and does not revolve around a man. 

In contrast…. Carr

Carr’s music is not like this music, it is different. It is entirely about men, often reinforces typical sexual roles instead of subverting them, except one singular song that is likely putting down other women. Her music and her image also became way more sexually graphic and fetish-y after being signed by Pete Wentz. 

Pre DCD2 

2019

“Vann McCann” is about wanting guys to be more like a famous musician. “Strangers” is about drifting apart from your ex boyfriend. “Blue” is about liking a guy in spite of his struggles with depression. “Without You” is about things not working out with a guy. “Ready Yet” is about ruining a budding relationship with a guy. 

2020

“Shampoo” is about missing your ex boyfriend. “Unsaid” is about drifting apart from your ex boyfriend.  “Mixed Signals” is about not liking a guy back. “Circles” is about being unable to break off contact with your ex boyfriend. 

2021

“Poor Boy” is about not liking nice guys back, and instead wanting guys who will “treat me like a toy,” “make me beg for more,” and leave her after sex. “French Fries” is about not liking a nice guy back. “Airheads” is about liking a guy who doesn’t like you.  “Carrtoons” is about having a crush on a guy. “Kiss Me When I’m Dead” is about rejecting a guy. “Loser” is about wanting a guy to die because you don’t like him. “Sprinter Van” is about wanting to be a “groupie” and have a “one night stand” with an emo guy in a band. “Scary Movies” is about wanting a guy to die because you don’t like him. 

Post DCD2

She got signed to DCD2 around 2022. There is too much album art to catalog all of it, but prior to being signed to DCD2, her album art was often photos of her standing fully clothed, or cute drawings of things like bottles of shampoo. It was not sexually graphic. It takes a turn after being signed by Pete Wentz. 

2022

“Bed Head” is about giving a guy that doesn’t like you back a blowjob.  “Cold Charlie” is about liking a guy who doesn’t like you back. “How To Lose A Friend in 10 Days” is about ceasing communications with a guy who you were having sex with. “Sarasota” is about hating a guy. “Sudden Death” is about being obsessed with a guy your friends hate. “XL T” is about breaking up with a guy. “Almost Famous” is about being sexually involved with a male celebrity. “TV Star” is about being sexually involved with a male celebrity. 

Notably, the album art for many of these songs features her sitting on a toilet wearing red panties. There is also album art that features her in white panties. Also, “Spit” is about being in love with a guy and wanting to spit in his mouth. The album art is a woman spitting in a man’s mouth.

2023

“Sick Bro” is about having “double Ds” and “looking pretty on your knees.” The album art is her in a red bra with emphasis on her cleavage. “Dirty Shoes” is about wanting to have sex with a guy. “Spiral City” is about being sad a guy doesn’t like you back, and includes lines about being “so horny” you want to “break into his house and get naked.” 

“Doctor Doctor” is about wanting to have sex with a guy who is doctor and includes “take my temperature,” which is an anal fetish thing, and implies this relationship is inappropriate. “Step on Your Face” is about stepping on a guy’s face. This is also fetish. “Garbage” is about being mean to a guy you are having sex with. “I Like Dogs” is about things not working out with a hookup. 

“Voldemort” is about being the other woman with a guy cheating on his girlfriend. “Usual Medication” is about having sex with a guy after drinking too much. 

Notably, the album art from this year is her in a toddler tutu and underwear standing over a guy who is looking at and grabbing her butt. This guy is a mechanic working on a car; beyond the pun, it is a reinforcement of traditional gender expectations and a typical porn setup. 

“Industry Kids” is the ONLY song she has that is not specifically about romantic or sexual relationships with men. It is about hating musicians with industry connections that are almost 30 and dress like teenagers. I cannot help but notice that Daisy Grenade, the other girl band on Pete’s label, are in the right age range, and wear a style of clothing typically attributed to teenagers. They have stated in an interview that they were signed because they have connections, and that they lightly insinuated they write songs with Jakob Armstrong, Billie Joe Armstrong’s son, who was also on Pete’s label at one point. 

To compound on this, a line in “Voldemort” also implies that the woman of the guy she is fucking is “faceless,” implying the song title is comparing the woman to Voldemort and putting her down. Never mind everything with JKR.

2024

“Hot Dads” is about having sex with someone’s dad.  It includes the line “pay for my cat” implying this is a sugar daddy relationship, especially as this guy is rich. It is arguably her most graphic and sexual song to date. 

Notably, this is her first song that was produced by Jake Sinclair. Jake Sinclair is closely involved with both FOB and Panic! at the Disco. Tobias Wincorn, who also produced the track, has produced for Panic recently as well. She has worked with many producers over the years (all male), but none of them had such a direct connection with FOB until now. 

The album art features her in a tutu crawling over the lap of a much older man wearing a suit, which is a position and clothing combination commonly associated with spanking fetish material, and it goes without saying that is also implied with the “daddy” thing. 

Conclusion 

In conclusion, her music has obviously gotten progressively more sexually graphic and explicit since becoming involved with Pete Wentz and Fall Out Boy. Her earlier lyrics, while still entirely focused around men, seemed more like music I or my friends would listen to, and primarily was concerned with emotion and heartbreak. The album art often focused on her face and showed her wearing normal clothes and doing normal things people do like eat or be outside. 

Since getting signed by Pete Wentz, and especially since she has begun to work with producers that work closely with FOB, her music and image have become increasingly sexually explicit. It often involves wanting to be degraded, getting money for sex, and fetish material such as daddy kink or rectal thermometers, and concerns themes surrounding relationships that are inappropriate due to power imbalances and age differences. 

Unlike musicians that focus on women’s sexual empowerment and sexual taboos like Ayesha Erotica, Melanie Martinez, Megan Thee Stallion, or Scene Queen, there is no subversion of gendered expectations. These songs also do not explore a nuanced view of women’s sexuality that sometimes involve experiences like grooming, rape, or abuse. 

They also do not focus on any other themes beyond men like self empowerment, self confidence, queer sex, or crediting women who inspire you. They are just about having sex with men, wanting men to like you, and rejecting men. The literal only song that is not about a man is potentially supposed to be some kind of manufactured feud with other women. The only song that explicitly mentions another woman is likely putting her down.

This isn’t music that I listen to. This isn’t music that most FOB fans listen to. This isn’t music that most human beings listen to. This is like Pete Wentz has a vague idea that women singing explicit lyrics like Ayesha Erotica, Melanie Martinez, and Scene Queen are popular on TikTok right now and FOB they think they can sell this genre without understanding it or the women who listen to it—or even valuing women at all—and signed a woman who previously made normal sad girl music with the intention of putting out this image. 

Because FOB are pushing this music so hard and posted a photo of her posing with a member of the band looking disgusted at her wearing clothing items advocating that she is a “Deepthroat Queen,” everybody is constantly asking what we think of this or if we like this or if we think this is cool and for us to make posts about this.  

She—like any woman—is allowed to do whatever she wants and express herself however she wants. 

However, Pete Wentz is not a woman, he is a middle aged man, as are his bandmates. Fall Out Boy are a band that are arguably infamous for being misogynistic. They have a song title that is a joke about how unpleasant it is to have sex with unattractive women. They have a song about wanting your ex to die in a car crash because she had sex with another man. They once had a song title calling a woman a “Myspace Whore” that was changed before being finalized. Pete Wentz has said that “XO” is about groupies, and that groupies are the “wrong kind of girl.” They have a demo about wanting to kill a girl. WAMS is likely an acronym meant to put down women. This is not a band that has EVER advocated for female sexual empowerment or feminism, and in fact has made it clear they hate sluts. 

Most relevant to ME and MY BLOG, I wrote an essay about Fall Out Boy that included a quote from Pete Wentz joking about the term “Grenade Jumper” being slang for how unpleasant is to have sex with fat or unattractive women. These scans, which had been online for 10+ years, were taken down after the publication of this essay and the band began selling an EDITED copy of this interview that removed this quote and changed other quotes. 

Now that a band with such a misogynistic history is heavily pushing music like this, people ARE going to form opinions about it and they ARE allowed to feel negatively about it. If you want to be famous, not everybody is going to love your music. 

It is disappointing and upsetting to many female FOB fans my age or younger that during their decade+ as a FOB fan, Pete Wentz never ever worked with women. When he finally does start mentoring women, it’s women who make music about wanting middle aged dads fuck you and stick things up your ass. While you wear a toddler tutu. Instead of music like The Cab or Panic at the Disco or Games We Play or Ultra Q or Gym Class Heroes. It ruins the illusion that many FOB fans have developed that the band’s view of women and the way they value women has matured for the better over the years. 

Nobody should be harassing Carr online or tagging her in mean posts or commenting mean things on her posts. She is allowed to do whatever she wants. But literally nobody is doing this. 43 year old Andy Hurley’s 30 year old influencer wife got mad that a single random FOB fan felt uncomfortable with the daddy kink aspect, and publicly put that fan on blast for posting about it and insinuated this fan was being misogynistic. TBH, I feel like she knew people were saying this kind of thing on Tumblr already and went looking for someone to publicly embarrass to discourage this conversation from happening at all. 

Just like the interview scans were taken down to discredit my criticism of Pete's misogyny and make me look like a liar. This is fucking ridiculous. Like be serious. 

[snobgoblin]

erm I've actually been nervous to post my Arcana theories here but I really like this one if you'll fuck with me on this

I think that like, the way the characters use magic? is actually based on the Minor Arcana. let me explain

the suit cards, to my understanding, have an elemental association and an overarching thing they relate to in a reading. I'll list out the elemental association of each suit and the traits associated with it, to the best of my ability, drawing from multiple sources including the official Arcana tarot guide, and then when I'm done with that I'll explain how this correlates to the magic systems present in the game

Cups ☕️💧

this one is associated with water, and it relates to matters of the heart, emotions. as well as connections to other people, spirituality and adaptability

Swords 🗡🌬

is associated with air, and deals with internal dialogues, logic, and intuition. it also has associations with decision making and intelligence

Wands 🪄🔥

this one is associated with fire and emphasizes willpower, self reliance, and the ability to take direct action. there's a lot of strong emotions associated with this one, it's a passionate suit

Pentacles ⭐️🍃

is associated with earth and deals with the tangible things in one's life, physical things. it also represents hard work, stability, and practicality

NOW THAT IVE EXPLAINED THAT let me explain how this fits into the way characters will use magic

Asra 💧

i dont think *matters of the heart* represents anyone better than Asra, how about you 😉? not to mention his magic is described as feeling like rain, he communicates through water, he can MAKE water in the desert, in the gladiator battle they can control it too iirc, AND his personal gate is full of pools of water. their teachings also seem extremely emotion based in a way that's hard for me to explain, a very "believe it will happen and it will happen" kind of way to using magic (God I wish I could articulate this better but luckily the others will be easier to explain) all of this would mean they would be operating under the Cups magic system

Nadia 🌬

Intuition is her whole thing! of course she'd be the swords (also notable that Nadia is great with a sword) intelligence also screams Nadia, she knows 12 languages and when she first met the High Priestess all she wanted to do was figure out how the realm worked because it wasn't scientifically accurate to her. decision making is also fitting considering she is the Countess

Lucio 🔥

Lucio is actually a little bit bad at magic according to Asra, so I won't be relying on him entirely for this (you'll see) however, it should be noted that when Lucio summons Vlastomil, he does so by setting a fire and then cutting open the bottoms of his feet. this mirrors how Morga uses magic, like once she cuts open her palm to catch her own spear on fire, and there is no hesitation in the way Morga uses magic, like rushing into portals (not for recklessness, but because she's so sure of herself) and another time she breaks the Devil's chains via extremely precise spear throw, something Asra is impressed by. so! I think the wands suit fits just perfectly when we consider direct action and self reliance in reference to Morga, and I suppose by extension Lucio, if he practiced a bit more

Muriel 🍃

his magic is actually described as feeling earthy at at least three different points, and the way he casts magic is very interesting as well. runecasting, which is described in the game as Muriel throwing a rock and interpreting the meaning. which is a very physical, grounded way to use magic. not to mention the myrrh and protection charms he uses- those are also extremely tangible things, naturey things so I think it aligns perfectly with the Pentacles. I would even argue that Mazelinka falls under this magic system, since she uses plants to make her potions- which is also a tangible way to do magic- pulling from your environment and such

so yeah I just thought that was interesting 🤔

[infizero]

already seeing a lot of ppl saying that the finale leaned too much into the more unhealthy aspects of simon and betty's relationship and like people are entitled to their opinion but. i dont really get that?? the whole point is that before this series THOSE ASPECTS HAD REALLY NEVER BEEN EXPLORED. aside from that one time in temple of mars, their past relationship had honestly been extremely romanticized and glamorized, and i for one am glad that they acknowledged their relationship was not perfect even back then.

but i highly disagree with anyone claiming that the finale tried to paint their relationship as having been bad or it being good that its over. i dont think it was saying that at all! they make it very clear that they loved each other and their relationship was great!! but it was not PERFECT and i think for the purpose of simon being able to move on it was important for him to realize that. thinking of the past as being flawless only leads to an inability to move on from it.

i definitely understand wishing that they had a happier ending, but personally i think them getting closure with each other and being able to live on separately is good. its been established there is seemingly no way to bring betty back to her regular self, and i think it would've just felt deus ex machina-y if they pulled a way out of their asses at the last second. plus it probably would've just reinforced their reliance on each other. betty basically lived for simon and simon lived for her, then marceline, then fionna and cake. now, they're able to live for themselves.

it's not the happiest ending they could've had, but it felt satisfying to me. like betty said, they made their choices. and clearly now that she's part of golb she's been able to reflect and realize her sacrificing everything for simon was unhealthy, which i think is good! she doesn't seem to be too unhappy as part of golb. hell knowing her she probably thinks its awesome she gets to be part of a monstrous chaos god. and she clearly is still watching over simon :') but that distance is a good thing, i think.

anyways this is just my opinion, and you're totally entitled to not like their ending, but i will say definitively that the finale was not in any way portraying their relationship overall as unhealthy or bad. it was merely pointing out an aspect of it that was unhealthy. but it very much asserts that what they had was wonderful and good despite that.

[mysoullanguage]

#0007 saturn and his lesson for you

aries saturn — identity and self-reliance

you may feel as though their impulsiveness is constantly being challenged. one way this fact might manifest is through “karma” biting you when they take risks or initiate something. there is a fear over being a leader or expressing the self authentically in fear of what others think. there is a lack of self-confidence when it comes to taking chances, though also a terrible habit of investing time into projects when there is no need. your lesson will require you to adapt to a more objective pov rather than an emotional one. your lesson to invest time into valuable things instead of everything at once directly intertwines with the lesson of being yourself, despite what others may think of you

so, there is the subject of identity and personal boundaries. there may lack a series of personal boundaries ranging from common “always saying yes” boundaries to more personal boundaries, such as “don’t do x to me, because I don’t like it. if you do x to me, then I will x.” there may be confusion between the father figure who may have caused you to feel deluded about your identity, or can speak of a father whose identity was very vague; he could have had a secretive past

accessing your inner courage but directing it to relevant directions will be your key lesson with this placement. authenticity and honesty when it comes to embracing and expressing who you are is crucial. you will come with obstacles that challenge your faith in yourself and how self-disciplined you really are. you will be challenged in your leadership and ability to be self-reliant and responsible, as opposed to reliant on those around you to do the thinking, talking, and walking. you will be met with many questions with regards to who you are to yourself and others; do you hide yourself from others in fear of what they think?

— 🌸 — 🌸

taurus saturn — money and self-worth

you may be the type to rely on yourself too much and fear asking for help. you are an independent person but can sometimes let it get to an extreme where you are unwilling working with others because you feel it may jeopardise your independence. you feel guilty asking for help and asking for others’ advice. you feel guilty enjoying life’s pleasures. you work hard but feel guilty for the rewards you reap. while you look towards the future and plan long term, you sometimes struggle enjoying the present. you overwork yourself to achieve your dream life as soon as possible but fail to look at what currently surrounds you

lessons will revolve around themes of materials/possessions and work. you may be the type to have an identity built on financial and material success; you may believe that, in order for you to have worth, you must be wealthy and own a lot of things. you may face challenges in which you lose valuable things or are forced to live life in a way that doesn’t involve finances or materials. you will be forced to look through a spiritual lens rather than a rational one. your obsession for planning and realism will be hindered through scenarios in which you will have no option for planning; you will have to let karma run its course. your need to control will be challenged through situations in which you must simply let go

saturn will teach you self-worth through the enjoyment of materials, but not excessively. saturn will teach you to use materials and indulgence as a method to treat your body, but not as a way to build a false worth. you will learn that materials and wealth are not your life’s soul purpose but can be a way to treat yourself. eventually you will realise that other things, like relationships, family, and travel, are also benefactors in your life. saturn will present you many situations in which you work with others

— 🌸 — 🌸

gemini saturn — interrelationships and objectivity

narrow mindedness reigns throughout this placement. you may be quite stubborn or arrogant in life and will go through a series of lessons that challenge your way of thinking and viewing the world. this placement can breed a gossiper who loves to talk of others. you look through everything with an subjective lens, than an objective one. this whole narrow mindedness and arrogance stems from the inability to communicate effectively and simply being shy around others. there is a strong need to defend the self when you feel undermined or underestimated but are totally unwilling to communicate anything else. your arrogance stems from your inability to look at things objectively, and would rather base your opinion on personal experience or based on what you perceived from afar. you are the type to observe and notice but not the type to fully scrutinise what you are seeing. you prefer shallow information than in-depth information

communication issues will be challenged when you meet other people with differing personalities and opinions. you will feel irritated as you don’t seem to “get along well” with the other person. you will completely miss the point of knowing other people and respecting their way of life and thinking without inputting yourself into it. your shyness will be challenged in situations where you have to talk to others and become more expressive. the way in which you articulate yourself and present themselves will be challenged also. you will come across many situations in which you must network and work with other people for a favourable outcome, instead of relying on yourself

the person may have had a flaky father who was absent in their lives, or at least distant. this placement has no correlation to emotions but the native may still feel as though logic is superior to the heart. saturn will test you when it comes to working with others for a mutual benefit. saturn will test you on your objectivity and ability to communicate and perceive information accurately. your fear of expressing yourself will be challenged also. education and schooling may be of importance to you; obstacles in which you are called to have a broad vision on everything and everyone will come to you.

— 🌸 — 🌸

cancer saturn — feelings and commitment

natives with this placement will constantly feel as though their emotional space is constantly violated and disrespected. there is a deep insecurity when it comes to emotions and tapping with the inner feminine. one way this placement can manifest is with the native being completely closed off emotionally or being ultra-sensitive to those around them. most of the time, the person is very sensitive and takes things very personally while also displaying zero emotion. saturn will challenge your emotional strength through obstacles that test your emotional agility. will you cry at the minor inconveniences caused, or will you be more rational at how you can fix things?

commitment, marriage, and the home will be key issues in this placement. the domestic life may have proven to be unstable or so erratic the native may have needed to disconnect themselves from the house at a relatively young age. the domestic life may have had an unstable marriage with commitment issues coming from both parents, or commitment and marriage issues will come for the native strictly. we are not talking about commitment issues in the sense that the native will cheat; in fact they are very loyal and empathetic when it comes to relationships. relationships and marriage, in fact, come hand in hand. there is an unresting need to nurture and mother the partner. but the native may struggle when in a committed relationship because they fear emotional depth and letting others see them for who they are. there is a heavy need to nurture and support but the native feels uncomfortable or awkward giving this to their partner or friends or family. it’s always said that cancer saturn seem to rush into marriage at a very young age because family gives them stability. this impulsivity typically leads to later divorce, although this outcome is obviously not always accurate…

saturn will challenge you to tap into your inner feminine and expressing your feminine side. you will be tested on whether or not you are willing to let others see you and feel you. you may be tempted to shut off or distance people from you in fear of what they think of you when you start feeling. saturn will also test you on whether or not you will take everything to heart or be willing to look at things from an objective view. your focus on the past may also be challenged: will you stay in the past or move into the future? additionally, saturn may look to see if you are willing to fight for your family and your friends. do you have the courage to keep them in your life?

— 🌸 — 🌸

leo saturn — creativity and honesty

you will feel a strong need to be creative and openly expressive, but will fear what others will think. this can breed a person who overthinks how others perceive them. there is a deep insecurity within you regarding public opinion. you may be shy despite wanting attention and social glamour. one extreme of this placement talk of a person who is so overly the too confident and arrogant who needs to be humbled and think of others. the other is someone who is shy and doesn’t like being looked at. you may relate with both or either. the way it can manifest in both is feeling shy but finally having the courage to open yourself up to the world, only for it to come crashing down on you. you may feel irritated upon coming out of your shell, which further tempts you to stay within your boundaries. however, if we return back to the two extremes, we may also add that one further extreme may speak of a power misuse and an unsettlingly fat ego. the other speaking of little power and a very fragile ego

personal creativity is a way of self expression for leo. leo wants to express the self through creative ventures and relationships. however, you may restrict yourself on being creative or being childish in fear of seeming immature. there is a strong possibility to mature when young, and a strong possibility of completely sheltering your inner child. you fear letting your childish feelings blossom because you may not be used to feeling them, or because you are simply scared of what others think. you will be presented with lessons that require you to tap into your inner creative genius and let life flow through colour rather than misery. you will mostly learn through children how you should view life

you will meet many people who teach you to let go of your need for control. you may be a control freak in the sense that you hate having something not go your way. children especially will teach you to look at something and simply let it go, rather than constantly trying to fix it. you will have opportunities presented to you in which you will have to express yourself and let your inner child be. your shyness will have to be replaced with confidence. your creative genius will become required in many scenarios. it’s merely a series of lessons that require you to be yourself and to be honest about it, rather than trying to control what people think of you because you are insecure

— 🌸 — 🌸

virgo saturn — rationality and selfishness

you are the perfectionist type who loves to work and earn money. you have a love for the collective and love helping others. you may have self-esteem issues and have a low self-worth. you love to cultivate a comfort zone that’s reflective of your likes and what you enjoy but you tend to never think anything is good enough for you. you have an eye for detail and are great at observing but are obsessive over tiny details and plans. you are obsessive when it comes to making things perfect. you are prone to burnout from trying to make everything the way you want it to be. so, you may also have control issues in which everything has to go your way. while you are superb at communicating and studying, you may actually be shy in articulating yourself. you may humble yourself to a level so low in fear of looking pretentious or as if you are bragging

many lessons will revolve around your need for perfection and letting details be. your obsessive need to control will be tackled with situations in which you must let things go. you may turn defensive in fear of feeling undermined, or as a habit. you criticise others as a personal projection from your inner imperfections. you see flaws as something that lowers your worth rather than something that differentiates you from others. you will learn to criticise less. you will also learn to be more selfish and stop helping people at every inconvenience they get into. you will feel rude or you’ll feel as though you’re not a good friend for simply protecting your own peace

many lessons will come to you through other people. you will learn that hard work is good but isn’t the one place you should put all your energy into. you will learn to work with others instead of being on your own. you will learn that helping others is merely an extension of your kindness, not an obligation or something you owe to others. you will learn to criticise less and let things go their way. additionally you will also learn to let karma run its course and will learn to adopt a less controlling grip on your life

— 🌸 — 🌸

libra saturn — relationships and teamwork

two extremes can manifest in this placement, with one being shy of social groups, and one being completely reliant on them. the former extreme may manifest as you being shy and lonely and thinking you’re awkward. I believe the latter may be more common and will manifest as someone who is so reliant on friends and reliant on a social life, they don’t know how to be alone. there is a fear when it comes to disagreeing with people and maintaining your own personal authority. you may feel as though to keep the peace, you must agree with what everyone else is doing or saying. you are scared to speak up because you don’t want to feel ostracised or different. in friendships you may obsess over their company so much, you find it hard being without them. this is also true for romantic relationships. you may revolve yourself around their existence instead of maintaining your own. you may prioritise others instead of yourself

this can also speak of someone who has a low self-esteem and therefore creates an identity through other people. your need for harmony and balance makes you the type to agree with everyone else. you feel bad for not conforming to what’s normal. you have trouble working with others because you neglect your needs and settle for someone else’s. many lessons will be taught to you regarding self-prioritisation. you will be put in uncomfortable situations in which you will have to establish your authority and personal boundaries

a lot of lessons will come to you through other people. you will learn your flaws when confronted by romantic partners and friends. you will eventually come to a realisation that others can use you for your kindness and that others can walk all over you with no regard. you don’t like speaking out on what bothers you, and so saturn will teach you how to do exactly that. you will be put in uncomfortable situations in which you must establish boundaries between you and others. you will learn effective teamwork and working with other people

— 🌸 — 🌸

scorpio saturn — evolution and relationships

you shy away from the intense parts of life in fear of the unknown. while you crave for intensity and passion, you feel as though you simply can’t grasp it. there is a deep pull towards the unknown and the occult; you want to delve into the taboo and the ugly. you are fascinated by the rough and want to explore the psyche through penetrative experience. however, you are very awkward at doing this. your fear of the unknown prohibits you from exploring anything at all. this fear of the unknown stems into many other issues, such as resisting and avoiding change when it’s due. you are a ruthless person when it comes to getting what you want but you also suffer with major control issues in which everything must go your way, or it won’t go any way at all. you are observant and private but almost to an extreme where you don’t let anybody in. you may isolate yourself for the sake of feeling secure, but fail to realise this costs your relationships with important people. marriage and the sort will be of importance to you

many lessons will revolve around you learning to let go and letting the universe taking the wheel. you will learn to embrace change as a vital part to your development. you will learn to face change head on instead of avoiding it. you will learn to stop isolating yourself at any minor inconvenience for fear of emotional vulnerability. much of your shadow side will be revealed in romantic relationships where your emotional vulnerability will be tested to see whether or not you are willing to transform the ugly parts of your self. you will learn change through having t evolution in which you learn to adopt new mindsets and broaden your way of viewing things

moreover, there will be some lessons in your life revolving receiving kindness as well as giving it to others. you are willing to be selfish for others but forget you deserve it as well. you offer loyalty to others but forget others must be loyal to you too. so, you may spiral into self-degradation where you think you’re not good enough. heartbreak will reign in your life if you fail establishing boundaries to prevent it. you will learn to give and receive compassion, loyalty, and sensitivity

— 🌸 — 🌸

sagittarius saturn — adventure and faith

you may like travel or see it as a way to expand your mindset. however, you may feel as though travelling lacks the spiritual satisfaction you yearn for. you may be the nomadic type who travels and has no home, while simultaneously looking for somewhere to belong. you may not like learning about other cultures or are simply not used to it because you may be hard-headed and/or arrogant. the lack of education and knowledge proves detrimental for you because you become ignorant to others’ way of living and being. saturn teaches you to embrace other ways of living instead of knowing just one. you may not even like other cultures or feel awkward embracing them because you are so used to your own. in actuality, this placement calls for a broadening of everything: your comfort zone, travel, your expansion of knowledge, your sense of right and wrong/morals and ethics

you will experience many lessons in which you will be beckoned to learn. you may be the type to think you know everything and turn defensive when you are confronted you actually don’t. you may feel like an outsider in society and relentlessly try to fit in. your lack of belonging and difference makes you feel awkward. you may feel as though the beliefs you have are different and could never be understood by anyone else. you will eventually learn your place in society and learn how to adapt to different social groups without feeling threatened of other people’s history and origin

there may be a legitimate fear of flight; this fear will eventually go. you will, for the most part, stumble upon obstacles that challenge your sense of right and wrong. while you have strong morals and a personal ethics code, your values will be projected in real life events. you will learn to explore without fearing the unknown and fearing what you don’t know, as you are already convinced you know it all. you will also be met with scenarios that challenge your faith. eventually you will even establish a proper foundation within you for your faith that you will build from. your spiritual healing will then be accelerated once your spiritual self is recognised

— 🌸 — 🌸

capricorn saturn — responsibility and maturity

you may feel as though you bear responsibility more than others. learning to be mature and responsible may be crucial in our lives but this placement enforces it to an extreme. there is a hidden insecurity when it comes to status/recognition and wealth. capricorn is a hoarder, and so tends to look for money to keep for themselves. the money you may earn may be hidden from others, or you tend to hide your wealth pretty well in fear of it being taken from you. when looking at others, you typically compare yourself to them, judging others by their status in society or the achievements they have accomplished in life. you tend to look for successes and use those successes to give worth to a human. hard work and discipline is important to you, but you have an insecurity of it never being enough. you try climb the social ladder but no matter what you do, you can’t seem to fit in. you are scared to take proper initiative in fear of breaking rules, despite knowing rules are what restrict you. you tend to trust the book and go by the book, fully knowing you are not happy with how you are progressing

you will be presented with many challenges that will question your trust in authority and beckon you to fend for yourself. this may be subjective as authority can mean many things: the government or you. if you trust in the government to do everything for you, your feelings of doubt and insecurities will surely heighten. you may believe that the harder you work, the bigger the blessing. so, you tend to overwork yourself to get the most out of your ambition. this will end up hurting you as you run yourself into a burnout you will struggle to come out from. you tend to also overwork yourself to rush getting the success you want, rather than being patient and steadily building upon your dreams. you look at success as something that gives your life meaning

saturn will teach you lessons on how to let go and trust your worth is not determined by how many materials you may have. you will learn to take on less responsibility and to direct your ambition towards projects you know will benefit you one day, as opposed to carrying everything at once and not getting anything done. your leadership and your willingness to deter from the status quo will also be tested. you will face many challenges that irritate your comfort zone and insecurities with money. you will have to learn that money and status is not the only things to live for, but are merely additionals to life

— 🌸 — 🌸

aquarius saturn — freethinking and friendship

the theme of friendship and originality will be a major theme if this is your placement. you may be the lonely type or the type who simply feels misunderstood in every crowd. you feel you are different from others and could have matured from a very young age. you are a dreamer by heart but don’t explore your dreams too much because they aren’t possible or unrealistic. aquarius is a creative genius and is always ten steps ahead of everyone else, mentally speaking. their mind jumps ahead faster than others’. you may have a yearning towards having a friend group that matches your vibration — a “squad” you can relate with — but are shy or distrust friends. another extreme of this placement can be someone who adapts to their friend group to the point they become their friends. they have no room for originality so they pick up on traits their friends have; so, they may like what their friends like, dislike what their friends dislike

saturn will teach you originality through giving you opportunities to chase your dreams, as unrealistic as they may come. you should start to trust your creative genius and pioneering spirit and take more initiative. you will eventually learn how to defend your authenticity rather than conforming to other people’s ideals and standards. in friend groups, you will learn to maintain your personality while working with other ones. you may fear being a leader in fear of other people’s opinions or people thinking you’re weird. regardless if you are weird or not, you will learn people will admire you and relate to you by you embracing your difference

you will come across many friends and people that challenge your comfort zone. you will learn to stop relying on the status quo or what’s “normal” and start progressing towards what resonates with you. you will become a proper pioneer and take initiative to cause change instead of simply watching it happen in front of you. you have a heart for the collective and will stumble across people who need your honest help. you will adapt a more humanitarian approach to life. you will, over time, want to try new things as you learn to let go of ego and fear of failure. you will learn to trust the result of experience rather than success or fail

— 🌸 — 🌸

pisces saturn — spirituality vs. reality

there is a large contrast between this placement and others because this placement largely speaks of escapism and abuse. surely the father figure may have been absent or may have had trouble with alcohol or drugs. you too can have a temptation to escape reality at every inconvenience. you have adapted to living a life in which you can easily escape from to live in a fantasy world. you may yearn for a spiritual escape but struggle understanding reality enough to pursue a spiritual approach to it. you may distrust everything around you or feel overly fearful of life and responsibility, thus avoiding confrontation or responsibility whenever possible. you are not one to take initiative or do what you want to do because you feel bad or are scared. you are not impulsive and rather let others do what you want to do

many of your lessons will surround the theme of responsibility, reality, and spirituality. you may be overly selfless and help others out of habit. you will eventually learn how to support yourself instead of others and heal yourself instead of healing others. your love for the collective/humanity/family/friends overtakes your personal needs and all of a sudden you are emotionally and spiritually drained. people will have no issue taking from you as long as you are giving it away for free. you will learn to become more selfish and to prioritise your own needs instead of others’

saturn will teach you to discard your obsessive habit of escaping life and actually taking responsibility. you will eventually learn to not let karma or the universe take its course but to actually enact change yourself. you will be tempted to yearn for a spiritual escape from reality but will realise you can live your spiritual escape on earth. you will learn to morph spirituality and reality into one; you will live reality through spirituality, rather than disconnecting the two and yearning for one while not living the other. you will begin building personal boundaries against others and learning to be more selfish also

[hausofneptune]

THE LIBRA ARCHETYPE

﹕PLANETARY RULER: VENUS

﹕ELEMENT: AIR

﹕MODALITY: CARDINAL

﹕POLARITY: DIURNAL

﹕SYMBOL: THE SCALES

﹕BODY PART RULERSHIP: THE LOWER BACK, HIPS, AND KIDNEYS

﹕PLANETARY DIGNITIES: VENUS IN LIBRA (DOMICILE), SATURN IN LIBRA (EXALTED), MARS IN LIBRA (DETRIMENT), SUN IN LIBRA (FALL)

↝ libra is best characterized by it's harmonious, balance-driven nature. more often than not, i see libra being described as the passive, "all beauty no brains" sign of the zodiac. libra also tends to be perceived in a very vain, appearance-based way in regards to it's venusian qualities. and while there can be some truth in those assessments, it overlooks certain aspects of the sign that i would personally argue are far more important. being an air sign, libra is the cerebral, social manifestation of venusian energy, which makes them extremely strategic and calculated as a result.

↝ i see a lot of similarities between the ways in which libra and cancer are perceived, specifically in relation to them being greatly underestimated despite them both having cardinal qualities. in libra's case, it's modality paired with the rulership of venus shape it into a sign that excels in creative fields. it's why you tend to see so many successful singers, rappers, actors, and artists in general, who have prominent libra placements in their charts. they have both the innate ability to bring life to their unique artistic visions in order to initiate and set new trends, alongside a strong intellectual and analytical nature to find feasible and practical ways to manifest these visions. this is why saturn does so well when it's in libra, because it finds balance in expressing both creative energy and pragmatic energy.

↝ like i mentioned, libra is a very social sign. in contrast to it's opposing sign, aries, libra is prioritizes collaboration and relationships with others, over it's sense of independence. this is why people with prominent libra placements tend to do well in more public-facing professions and in the "social arena" in general. they're gifted networkers, and are usually the types of people who know how to work a room and utilize their charismatic nature to their advantage. these natives tend to do well not only as creatives, but also as lawyers and especially as politicians, they know how to play a part extremely well, even if on the surface they seem aloof. their social quality is also why you'll typically hear that libra despises rude or brash behavior, when they see someone being demeaning towards customer service workers or cutting another person off during a conversation, it can almost "trigger" them because they're expectant of others to pick up on social cues and have manners the same way that they do.

↝ this is also a result of their innate need for balance. and while this need can be advantageous in most cases, it can also work against them at times. similar to pisces, libra has the capacity to be evasive at times as a means to "keep the peace". i personally view libra as being one of the signs whose kindness is more often than not mistaken for weakness, which is why it's so important for libra to develop the ability to not fear confrontation and to stand ten toes down on both their boundaries and on what it is that they believe in. alongside this, libra may have to work on their co-dependence or reliance on others for validation. like i mentioned, the connection to others is a very important aspect of the libra archetype, and more unevolved libra placements can definitely lose themselves in their connections if they're unhealthy or are prioritized over developing one's independent sense of self.

↝ ultimately, libra is an extremely intellectually-driven sign. personally, i hate the superficial ways in which people describe libra energy, because people with these placements tend to be trail-blazers, not because of their physical appearance, but because in their heart they're innately driven to bring harmony to the world at large and have the determination to make that change happen. and that's far more important than the one-dimensional, egocentric traits that most people tend to care more about when it comes to this sign.

﹕LIBRA CELEBRITIES: 21 savage, a$ap rocky, ashanti, ayo edebiri, baby keem, bella hadid, bella ramsey, cardi b, doja cat, jenna ortega, jimin, keyshia cole, leigh-anne pinnock, lil wayne, michaela coel, mitski, rubi rose, serena williams, smino, snoop dogg, t-pain, tessa thompson, tyler james williams, usher, will smith

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[loverofmirage]

How exactly does NPD work? I want to hear about it from an NPD perspective; I'm genuinely curious and want to learn.

NPD is a spectrum and will differ from individual to individual, nor am I a trained professional. This is my take on it from my personal perspective.

At its core, NPD is a disorder of self-esteem regulation. The person with NPD lacks the tool to validate their own self-worth and relies on maladaptive strategies to prop-up their self-esteem.

Those strategies are often the more visible part of the disorder for others. Things like seeking admiration and praise, fishing for compliments and exaggerating our achievements.

Reliance on these strategies creates a period of inflated self-esteem, often called Narc High by the community. The inflated self-image created this way isn't very stable however and can quickly be destabilized by a perceived attack on the grandiose facade. This is where the hyper-sensitivity to criticism comes from.

The vulnerable self-esteem that comes with NPD means that once a negative feedback destabilizes us, we can quickly spiral out into an extreme state of shame and self-loathing, often called Narc Crash. The experience is extremely painful to go through, and most narcissists will develop strategies to prevent it from happening.

Those strategies will include things like being very defensive when criticized (or very humble, in the hope of making it stop as quickly as possible), excessive attempts at covering up perceived flaws (to prevent the negative feedback before it happens), avoiding doing things if we aren't sure we can succeed and cutting out people that "give" us a negative reflection.