#eye contact is for JOHN ONLY. and isn't that GAY?

[mrspronouns]

dear malevolent podcast fans, why does no one ever talk about john and kayne and their whole dynamic . not even necessarily ship dynamic. no one talks about them NEARLY as much as we should be.

do you guys ever think about how whenever arthur and kayne have their weird gay shit going on, john is the one Witnessing it? arthur can't even see kayne's gay ass. JOHN can though. and he DOES. do you guys ever think about that. how he's forced to watch that?

do you guys ever wonder about what exactly happened with the whole deal to get john out of the dark world? why did kayne say uhh "the things you did to make this deal happen" . WHAT things? did kayne make john give him a little kissy? like did john have to massacre millions? theres so much to be explored here guys come on why aren't we talking about them more

they have such a weird freaky power dynamic and no ones even talking about it. it doesnt NEED to be like a ship thing. just in general. BUT ALSO do they even have ??? a ship name??? these are two of the main characters of the podcast guys. i know we all care about arthur sooooo much but..... but what about them.......

[foolsdiamond]

Happy 413 Homestuck Fandom

*screams victoriously*

i will save you all the headache and put my many many many hours of thoughts below the cut, but first, my accidental rainbow version

JUNE EGBERT: Ok so, I'm gonna put aside my name headcanons here to instead comment on the picture. Yes, June has a feminizing hammer. Yes, John is going to call her a slur. I'm so happy that June Egbert is finally canon on paper, but I think she would wear modest, business casual; a casual form-fitting suit jacket to accentuate curves, a flowy skirt (windy style!). Speaking of wind, I love the headcanon that June's long hair takes the shape of the Breath breeze.

STRIDER: Personally I'm a huge fan of the idea of Dave taking the name Robin (as in https://burningdownthehou.se/), or anything bird themed. I'm a contrarian so I refuse to use the fandom-popular Dove, but Wren is a really cute 4-letter bird name too. Love the idea that as she ages, Strider also fights against the masculinity forced onto her in the Strider household and gets on E. Also of note, she has gained some weight now that she's safe and happy <3

HARLEY: I don't think Jade is a trans man, but I do think Jade would be happier on testosterone and wouldn't care what pronouns you use for them. I also like the spelling Jaid for his post-transition name, not that I think Jaid would actually change their name, but if they did, changing it to the same name but spelled different/more masculine would suit him. Yes, Jaid is wearing John's old shorts. Yes, Jaid is extremely gender to me.

ROSE LALONDE: My only headcanon for Rose is that she is big, fat, and beautiful. She's dyed her hair her and Kanaya's colors because she is Gay. She's also wearing colored contacts, because purple eyes aren't real, so why not wear mismatched contacts too and be cool. Since this drawing is explicitly The Beta Kids Are Trans, Rose began transitioning young, something I can only imagine was a really brutal battle with her Mother of being so gender affirming it made her start Resenting femininity. In this instance, 13-year-old Rose isn't upset that her adult self is a woman, she's upset her adult self is a fat happy lesbian.

[la-petite-lapin]

Double the Love | Part Five

Double the Love masterlist

Simon "Ghost" Riley x Johnny "Soap" MacTavish x female civilian!OC Word Count: 2.5k Series warnings (may change between chapters): 18+ Minors DNI, angst, mentions of death, mentions of violence, injury description, eventual explicit sexual content, polyamory, M/M/F, FMC is bad at feelings, miscommunication, Ghostie is home

The apartment walls are thin

Last night, I dreamt about sleeping with them.

It's not even the first time I've dreamt about sex with Johnny and Ghost. Of seeing Ghost's face unimpeded by masks or shadows. Of hearing up-close the throaty groans that Ghost draws out of Johnny nightly. And, if anything, it's only worsened by the moans that drift from their room down the hall in the night-time hours.

"Well that's not very good," Winnie clarifies, stating the obvious as usual, voice filling the room. Usually, I'd call her with my airpods in, but Ghost is in Russia, and Johnny is at a check-up for his stitches. Which means that I can rant to my best friend and seek advice on this incredibly fucked up situation. "Jesus, Tali."

I roll my eyes even though she can't see me. "Yeah, no shit."

"Hey, don't take your frustration out on me. I don't want to fuck them; that's all you." There's a beat of silence before, "Right, I have questions."

"Don't we all," I say exasperated, my head falling back onto my pillow with a muted thud.

Winnie clears her throat. "Well... are they gay? Or are they bi?"

"I don't know. Haven't asked."

"Okay. Have they been flirting with you or anything?"

"I don't know."

Winnie exhales a heavy sigh. "Explain."

It's hard to explain. The possibility is in the subtle things; the casual brushes against me as they walk past, the unnecessarily prolonged eye contact, the inside jokes. But it's never overt. Everything is just a little on the far side of friendly, but not so far as to be awkward or out of line.

"Johnny's started napping on the sofa with his head in my lap. And sometimes he rubs my shoulders while we watch TV." I think back to what happened three nights ago, just before Ghost left for Russia with John and Gaz. "And then the other night I was doing the dishes. Johnny started drying them like he normally does, but... Ghost came in too."

There's an almost comically long pause on Winnie's end of the line. "Then what happened?"

"He started talking but I didn't know he was there. I dropped the knife I was holding and when I tried to grab it, I sliced my hand open. Ghost patched me up."

I think back to it. Ghost was attentive and diligent as he sterilised the wound with some alcohol wipes from their first aid kit, pulling the raw edges of my skin closed with butterfly stitches. The entire time, his touches were gentle and caring, his free hand running soft, gentle lines along the back of my injured palm with his index finger.

It reminded me of the thing he does to soothe Johnny sometimes. The casual intimacy of it.

"Tali," Winnie says, her tone an admonishing one, "what have I told you about those bloody knives? You need to be careful with them." She sucks in a breath. "But I am surprised. If anything, I'd have thought that would Johnny patching you up."

"Exactly." A spark of something flares deep within my chest. "Ghost isn't a tactile person at all. Johnny tried to help but Ghost wouldn't let him near me. Said he wanted to do it himself. And he called me love."

Winnie makes a noise akin to a purr. "Oh dear. I mean, if it helps, I'm picking up on some vibes here too. Is it worth just asking them where you stand?"

Before I can open my mouth to answer, the front door opens and a cheerful "honey, I'm home!" rings out through the apartment. Hurriedly, I take the phone off speaker and press it against my ear. "Johnny's back."

"I figured," she giggles.

"Can I call you back later?"

We say our goodbyes, with Winnie agreeing to call me in the evening once she's had her dinner. With the call ended, I hop off of my bed and pad out into the hallway.

Johnny is standing in the living room with shopping bags hanging from both hands. There's a beaming grin on his face, his eyes shining. "I hope ye did'nae mind. I did some shopping for us."

I rush over to take the bags from him and place them down on the counter. "Thanks, Johnny. How was the appointment?"

"It went well." He follows me into the kitchen, taking up a large amount of space with his muscular build. "I'm even better for seeing ye though, bonnie."

Heat rises to my face as he takes my injured hand in his, folding his fingers around my wrist loosely and guiding my palm into his line of sight. With a feather-light touch, he runs a single fingertip along my butterfly stitches, checking on Ghost's handiwork. Then - as if satisfied that they're holding up - he drops my hand and moves past me, his front pressing against my back for a brief breath-stealing moment, as he starts to put the groceries away.

Bonnie. That's a new one.

"Want me to cook tea tonight?" Johnny asks, moving around the space with a certainty that is so unbelievably attractive to me. He's only been living here for a week now, but he's already settled in. He knows where everything is and just how I like the kitchen arranged. It's like he's always been here.

"You don't have to." I hop up to perch on the countertop, resigning myself to the fact that he's unpacking and putting the shopping away. A few days ago, I might have tried to argue with him or step in and take over. Now, I just sit back and watch, keeping him company. "Heard anything from Ghost yet?"

Johnny nods his head, slotting the milk into the fridge. "They're coming back from Russia tonight. Probably won't be home for a couple more days though; they've got someone to interrogate at the base."

I'm so distracted by the fact that he just referred to the apartment as home that I almost miss the mention of an interrogation. I wilfully choose to ignore it; to not let my mind linger on the darker side of Ghost that he will undoubtedly be unleashing.

I'm still distracted when Johnny starts to walk towards me again, a bag of pasta in his hand. If he follows my system, it should go in the cabinet above my head. As he inches closer to me, I can see the cogs turning behind his opalescent blue eyes. I know I should move out of the way; to the side or off of the counter altogether to move myself out of his path. But I don't. And he doesn't say anything either, slotting himself firmly between my spread thighs as he opens the cabinet.

I can feel the sheer heat radiating off of his huge, muscular body. Can smell the heady, woody, and floral scent of his aftershave. The strong column of his throat is just inches away from my lips, and - up close - I can see the generous dusting of dark hair that decorates his chest and abs underneath the thin white fabric of his vest.

Instinctively, my hand rises up to rest against his abdomen, making sure to fall on his uninjured side.

"Tali," the word is mumbled, verging on breathless.

My eyes dart up to find him staring down at me. Even seated on the counter, he's taller than me, and I can't help but find the size difference unfairly hot. It makes me think about Ghost; the fact that he's even bigger. A shiver runs through me at the thought of both of them standing here, crowding me in...

Johnny's gaze is heated - something intense shining under the surface of those sweet baby blues - as he hooks a single index finger under my chin. "What's gotten into you, lassie?"

My breath catches in my throat. For a second, I question if I'm doing the right thing.

The finger leaves my chin and I'm rewarded with a gentle squeeze just above my knee. "I asked ye a question."

"I... I-" I stumble over my words like an idiot. "You've been flirting with me." The way my tone pitches up at the end makes it sound more like a question than a statement.

Johnny chuckles, eyes sparkling with humour. "Ye don't sound so sure, lovey."

I wince. My muscles tense as I pull back slightly, leaning back on my hands. "You're in a relationship with Ghost."

"Very observant of ye." He closes the cabinet with his free hand, then runs his thumb along the curve of my cheekbone, the other hand shifting slightly higher on my thigh. "I am. But I've seen the way you look at us, Tali. And I've heard ye at night." His hand brushes the very top of my thigh and my breath catches once again. His eyes darken. "The walls in this apartment are pretty thin."

All moisture leaves my mouth. Oh brilliant. Johnny, and possibly Ghost, have heard me touching myself at night. I don't know whether to feel embarrassed or turned on. And then there's the way Johnny says it; so casually - so easily - like it doesn't bother him in the slightest. Like it would be unusual if I wasn't masturbating with them just down the hall.

"Does... does Ghost know?" is the only thing I can think to ask.

Johnny grins. "Aye, he does." We're both leaning closer and closer to each other again, until I can practically feel the warmth of his mint-scented breath against my skin. "He thinks it's cute."

Cute. Like a puppy or a kitten. Something adorable.

Not sexy or hot. Adorable.

Embarrassment hits me, jagged and icy, flooding through my veins. And suddenly I feel so. Fucking. Stupid.

I'm not some kind of femme fatale - not the kind of woman who can pursue one man, let alone two.

What did I expect? For Johnny to confess that they, too, have been thinking about me in less than appropriate ways and then what? There's no happy ending for me lusting after Johnny and Ghost in their committed, serious relationship - I knew that from the first night I dreamt about them. And I was mad for even thinking that maybe - just maybe - they could have been looking at me like that too.

No; they go out into parts of the world that people like me rarely ever see, putting their lives on the line to save the world. They don't want to fuck an interior designer with commitment issues, and deep-rooted family trauma.

"Okay, cool," I mumble under my breath, eyes focused on a spot on the tiled floor. I move my hand away from his side, gently pushing him away as I do so.

With a frown, he takes a step back. He looks almost hurt.

I hop down from the countertop and fold my arms across my chest, stepping back in the direction of the hallway. "I'll, um... I'll try to keep the noise down. I- I'm sorry for being a nuisance."

Johnny's face falls. "No, lassie- that..."

I'm already out of the kitchen before I can hear the rest, spinning on my heel and taking off in a brisk walk until I get to my room. With the door firmly closed, I pull my phone out of my pocket and fire off a quick text to Winnie.

TALIA KELLER: They don't feel the same.

She's online in half a heartbeat.

WINSLOW SLOANE: Wait WINSLOW SLOANE: What happened? TALIA KELLER: Was helping Johnny put the food shopping away. He told me that him and Ghost can hear me in my room at night and that Ghost thinks it's "cute". TALIA KELLER: It was so fucking mortifying. WINSLOW SLOANE: Oh Tali :( WINSLOW SLOANE: Context is key, baby. Maybe cute is a good thing. Does Ghost strike you as a man who thinks that many things are cute?

I tip my head back. No matter the positive spin that Winnie wants to try and put on this, I'm still not seeing it.

So, I lie in bed, staring at the ceiling, feeling icky and embarrassed. And wondering how Winnie would feel about sound-proofing the entire apartment.

I'm out for a walk when Ghost comes home.

When I get in, his massive combat boots are tucked in neatly next to the door. I don't immediately see him, or Johnny for that matter, and it's something that sends an unexpected spike of disappointment through me. Which makes me frown because this isn't me. I don't get like this with people - not even Winnie. I avoid commitment and co-dependency at all costs because I know that one day it will come back to bite me.

I think about how I used to wait for Alex to come home, practically counting down the minutes, waiting by the door for his return. I think about how I watch Marcella do the same, and now Johnny. And it's the antithesis of the life I've resolved myself to: complete independence.

I follow the sound of their voices into the kitchen, watching the domestic scene playing out before me. Johnny is pouring sparkling water into two glasses for them while Ghost stands back, his face hidden behind a black balaclava with a white skull painted across the front. Common sense dictates that it's something that should probably scare me. It doesn't.

He dips his head in acknowledgement, and I meet it with my own awkward nod.

"Tali," Ghost's voice is as gruff as ever. The mask shifts and, in the shadows cast by the overhead lights, I can make out a hint of a smile playing on his face underneath the masks. "How've you been?"

"I've been okay. How was Russia?"

"How's your hand?" He completely bypasses my question, as if I never even spoke.

For a moment, I just stare at them, waiting for Ghost to answer me first. When it becomes clear that isn't going to happen, I say, "It's okay. Hasn't fallen off yet, anyway."

Johnny lets out a snort of laughter. "Someone's in a sarcastic mood. Good thing Ghostie is home, aye?"

A beat of silence passes, his words hanging in the air between us.

"So, how was Russia?" I repeat, cocking my head to one side.

Ghost lets out a weary sigh, bracing his hands on the counter, shoulder's width apart. Out of the corner of my eye, I swear I can see Johnny's body tensing up. "It was interesting. We didn't find what we thought we'd find. That's all I can say. Rest is classified." It's a lot more than I was expecting anyway, and probably the most forthcoming he's been with me since the day they moved in. "But I will say that I missed you lot. Both of you."

"You don't have to include me out of pity," I snap impulsively. It's so obvious to me that Johnny's told him what happened that night in the kitchen. For reasons I can't fully articulate, it makes me angry.

Ghost's eyes darken at that, and suddenly I can see what those men in Russia must have seen; a huge, pissed-off man, clad in a skull mask and all black clothes. A man you probably shouldn't be riling up knowingly.

It sends a thrill down my spine and my palms start to sweat.

"Don't start, love," he growls, "I'm not in the mood tonight."

I stutter and stumble over a comeback, but it dies in my throat when Ghost crosses the apartment, leaving an amused-looking Johnny standing halfway between the kitchen and the living room.

"Yeah, Johnny's told me all about the shit you've been giving him while I've been gone. Avoiding him and not answering when he tries to check on you." He comes to a complete stop in front of me, towering over my much smaller frame and levelling me with a serious look. It doesn't escape my attention that he must be over six-and-a-half feet tall and verging on two-hundred pounds of pure, solid muscle. "Misbehaving for him." A single, large paw of a hand comes up to brush over my shoulder, skimming up to rest lightly on my throat. There's no grip there though; it's a hold so gentle that I could break it just by stepping back. "That ends now, princess."

I will myself to come to my senses, but I can't. Instead, I stand there, doe-eyed with parted lips, gazing up at the huge, strong soldier disciplining me. My body is trembling like a leaf in the wind and I'm wet - unignorably so.

I wonder if he knows.

His answering smirk tells me that he probably does, and there's a new lustful darkness in his tone as he adds, "Because I think we all need to sit down and have a talk, yeah?"

a/n: hey guys! sorry that this one took so long hope you enjoy this part. things are starting to heat up ;) - take care y'all, lapetitelapin

[darkfire359]

Thoughts on e2-e4 of The Terror

My friend and I finally got around to continuing my watch of The Terror. Some thoughts:

We clicked on the youtube link to e2 and it took us a whole ~5 minutes to realize that it was actually e3. We thought there might be some kind of flashback explanation to why this dead guy and his daughter were suddenly on the ship, but there kept not being one, and then we eventually realized the mistake.

I was sad to see a cat show up because the cat will probably die like everyone else. :( On the other hand, it did mean I actually believed Gibson's excuse to Irving for almost as long as Irving did. But as soon as he mentioned Hickey, I knew that it definitely wasn't pussy that he was interested in down there. ;)

Relatedly, I swear I've heard the phrase "Cornelius Hickey is a devious seducer" before, but I had NO idea it was canon. Amazing.

My friend, upon Irving suggesting that Hickey try watercoloring instead of gay sex: "Is he just ace and he thinks that's what it's like for everyone???"

Also, I'd heard people use rat motifs for Hickey before, and I'd just assumed it was for general vibes reasons, like him being villainous and sneaky maybe. But no, Hickey got a speech given to him about how the difference between men and rats is that rats fuck in the hold all the time and men "aren't supposed to". Wow.

My first reaction upon Gibson being such an asshole during his breakup with Hickey was to feel bad for Hickey and his inevitable turn to villainy. But then Hickey was such a bitch back to him! "I had dinner with the captain, he likes me, who knows what could happen there ;)" and all. Plus he just kept reminding Gibson that he was the one who topped (honestly unexpected).

Anyway I appreciated the bitchiness and how Hickey just takes that "devious seducer" descriptor and tries to roll with it by making eyes at every other guy in the show INCLUDING the megabear. My dude really felt that he needed to include that eye contact description in his report to Francis lmao.

Relatedly I really hope someone has written megabear/Hickey fanfiction. I don't even need to read it, just to know if it exists.

At some point my friend asked what it meant to be "punished like a boy" and I luckily knew the answer due to some OFMD fanfiction that I'd read. Though TBF I could have guessed anyway since "Hickey gets whipped on the ass" might have been literally the first thing I knew about The Terror going into it.

Surprised that Sir John got killed via megabear; I thought that for sure he'd be mutinied on.

It's kinda sweet that Francis went on the entire expedition because of Sophia's request to keep her uncle safe. But my friend and I agree that Sophia/Francis isn't actually a good ship because a. he seems to be way older than her, and b. it seems like she was legitimately turning him down, rather than just doing so due to pressure from her family (as it had looked like earlier).

Very curious to see what the show would look like from the perspective of the Lady of Silence. "Oops, I have a pet monster that shows affection by murdering things for me!" I'd watch the hell out of that!

Some lingering confusion:

How did Goodsir escape the megabear attack that killed Sir John? It seemed like he was with the group in the blind when the megabear struck, and then Sir John was the only one we saw running back. But then Goodsir is just back on the ship as usual in another scene?

Is it assumed that Francis just off-screen sent that group of 8 people south? It seems like Sir John dying mean that he wasn't going to lead it himself, but he seemed adamant about it even if he was willing to wait the one day for Fitzjames? There's a 5-month timeskip after that and they don't bring it up again.

What was Hickey looking for on the ship during the funeral? I'm guessing it was the thing we saw he had stashed in his hammock later? Drugs?

Why did Francis go out looking for the megabear with just a cabin boy? Earlier he was having groups of 6 people go. Seems surprisingly irresponsible for the guy who is usually the voice of reason.

[writer-monster]

11 reasons why cap 4 should reintroduce Bucky Barnes as the love interest, an essay

to start this off, i am not writing this essay from a shipping place nor do i believe that this would have any influence at all over the upcoming movie. i expect nothing. this is simply something that i would personally like to see. (of course no hate to anybody who thinks differently)

here are 11 reasons why i think making Bucky into Sam Wilson's love interest in Cap 4 would be a good move for Disney.

-

1. on the Chinese film market - and why it's an irrelevant argument against the inclusion of homosexual themes in Cap 4

the Chinese film market is something that has been blamed for a lack of diversity in Hollywood films a lot lately. many people claim that this market with a lot of buying power has been responsible for the lack of gay and black representation in particular within Hollywood films.

and we have certainly seen Hollywood treating it as such, going so far as to cut gay scenes from movies for their Chinese releases, and vastly minimising John Boyega's (a black actor's) presence in the Chinese poster of Star Wars The Force Awakens.

[image ID: on the left is an image of the American poster for Star Wars The Force Awakens, featuring John Boyega prominently on the right-hand side. And on the right is the Chinese poster for the same movie, in which John Boyega is barely visible.]

so we know at the very least that Disney believes this through their own actions and efforts to self-censor for the different markets.

but Captain America 4 is a black-led movie, don't you forget. and Disney can't minimise Sam Wilson/Anthony Mackie in the movie or the poster because it's his movie and his poster. and no amount of creativity in the editing room can change that (thank God!).

so if by their own argument the film is already going to be either banned, panned or slammed in China... then what do they have to fear from making it a gay movie too?

-

2. oh, the queerbaiting

queerbaiting is an unusual cultural idea. and sometimes i find myself thinking that the term is far too easily used, but then all of a sudden i will stumble upon a movie or show that is so quintessentially cruel and overt in it's... well... queerbaiting that i will start to wonder what the hell kind of a bizarre relationship all these straight people seem to have with their friends. take Troy and Abed from Community or John and Sherlock from Sherlock as the perfect examples of this. (in which my reaction to the show's creators saying the show wasn't gay was to ask so then why did you make it so gay?!)

i felt that Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes in tfatws were getting quite close to this level of queerbaiting.

there was the field scene, the couple's counselling scene, the boat scene, the couple's counselling scene, Bucky going with Sam to face Karli when she told Sam to come alone, the couple's counselling scene, ALL the staring scenes, Sam checking out Bucky's ass here as they said goodbye, the "i would move in with him but" hidden scene, "Uncle Bucky" showing up at the cookout scene, the romantic walking off together into the sunset together ending scene, and the couple's counselling scene. did i forget anything? but i mean seriously, the couple's counselling scene!!! that thing they did with their legs and their crotches while staring deep into each other's eyes, would any straight guy willingly do that? do straight guys crotch-snuggle now?

[image ID: an image of Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes during the therapy scene with the quote, "Isn't anybody going to drag me into impromptu couple's therapy and slot my legs firmly between theirs before staring deeply into my eyes?"]

(yeah i stole this image from a buzzfeed article on the fan reactions to the couple's therapy scene. but given that they stole 80% of the content of that article from fandom tumblr, i think it's pretty even-steven.)

there's also the fact that people started talking about bisexual Bucky Barnes a lot after the tiger pictures line, and the lead writer Malcom Spellman responded to the talk of Bucky's bisexuality with "just keep watching". well we watched, Malcolm. but it's beginning to feel like you were just jerking us around.

-

3. the writing

seriously though, what else is Bucky Barnes doing right now in the MCU? his only remaining connection to anything going on right now is through Sam. there is literally nothing else established that's left for him to do that doesn't involve Sam. he moved to Louisiana to be closer to Sam (canonically), he hangs out with Sam's family (canonically), and Steve is presumably gone and is definitely not coming back for more adventures.

he has no villains or loose ends left. he has no other superheroes that he appears to be in contact with. he has no girlfriend or potential love interest, or even other friends or family. he is living in a tent that he has secretly set up in Sam's backyard and is mysteriously appearing from the bushes when it's time for dinner like a stray cat.

in my opinion there is no other meaningful and pre-established progression for Bucky's character that wouldn't just feel cheap.

plus, i don't think the general audience would be all that surprised if they kissed. i think a LOT of people picked up on all that tension. i think a lot of straight people picked up on all that tension too.

-

4. the chemistry between the actors & the chemistry between the characters

the original pitch for tfatws was essentially just this, it was the chemistry between Sebastian Stan and Anthony Mackie and their respective MCU characters of Bucky Barnes and Sam Wilson.

now obviously Anthony and Sebastian are simply friends, and i wouldn't mean to imply anything more. but they are also not their characters.

Sam and Bucky's scenes together before tfatws were both limited and short, and yet audiences still fell in love with the dynamic between the two characters.

in interviews, these two actors are constantly slipping into character and flirting with each other and frankly it's adorable. plus it's really entertaining. i'd love to see that dynamic, unfiltered, in a movie.

because believe it or not the flirting is actually even more open in their interviews than it was in tfatws. and i'm leaving some links as proof.

this here is known as the "married" compilation

and here's a "lucky dip" selection of interviews - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5,

and here's Anthony trying to get Seb to take his jacket off.

i'm just saying, why not let their chemistry shine? these two are so talented and so entertaining, especially when you put them in a room together. and can you imagine how absolutely hilarious and brilliant it would be to watch them navigate being a couple?

(and for those who bring up the "friends would be uncomfortable pretending to be dating" argument, i'm not here asking for a sex scene or anything. i don't think anyone would expect them to show any more intimacy (physical or emotional) while playing a couple than what they've already shown together in say... tfatws or in their own interviews. not that i actually expect anything regardless.)

-

5. if they were a man and a woman they would've gotten together in tfatws

i have no more to add here. just that... yeah, they would've.

-

6. and i'm not talking about the comics here, i'm talking about the MCU.

i understand fully that none of what i'm saying here falls in line with these characters from the comics. but the mcu itself doesn't fall much in line with the comics either, and these two characters especially are very different from their comics counterparts.

i'm not asking for these two to get together in the comics. tbh i don't think that it would work.

but the mcu Sam and Bucky are different and closer than their comics counterparts. they've got different histories, different backstories, and a very different dynamic. please rest assured that i am only talking about them in the mcu.

-

7. Bucky Barnes is believably bisexual. and Sam Wilson has never been proven to be straight in the mcu, nor has he had a love interest.

(now please continue to keep in mind that these points only stand for the mcu versions of Bucky Barnes and Sam Wilson, and not at all for their comics counterparts.)

Sam Wilson has never had a love interest, which is crazy because have you seen that man! he has had two blink and you'll miss it moments of verbal expression of attraction to women, both in TWS. and that's the extent of it, through his entire history in the mcu.

Bucky Barnes has had a number of surface-level female love interests, but none of them even came close to the level of connection and chemistry that Bucky shares with Sam.

and i'm sorry SarahBucky fans, but i just don't think there's very much to their relationship either. i love Sarah, i really do. but it's Sam who shares all the meaningful moments and history and chemistry with Bucky. and i don't see what making her into a love interest would do for Sarah's character either, what would that add to her story?

[Picture ID: Bucky at the cookout with Sam, Sarah, Cass and AJ. Bucky and Sam are looking at each other and smiling.]

and also there is the whole tiger pictures thing... again. which does strongly suggest that Bucky is bisexual whether this was intentional on behalf of the writers or not.

-

8. it's representation... AND it feels natural

marvel hasn't had a lot of queer representation that's been noticeably present in the MCU at the time of writing this.

there have been a lot of failures so far, from the bisexual erasure of Valkyrie in Thor Ragnarok to the wlw erasure in Black Panther.

there was queerbaiting almost identical to the bisexual Bucky baiting for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2. when asked if he had considered featuring a gay hero in gotg2, director James Gunn stated that "We might have already done that. I say, watch the movie." after the movie's release audiences were understandably confused about the lack of queer representation. To which the director followed up his comments with, "But we don't really know who's gay and who's not. It could be any of them."

there is also Loki, considered by most fans after the airing of his six episode series on Disney+ to be both a poor attempt at both genderfluid representation and bisexual representation. with both attempts being summed up fairly well by the term "blink-and-you'll-miss-it". (also it's just terribly written and Loki doesn't wear any interesting clothes! fanficcers are a Goddamn blessing in this hard time!)

and let us not forget that Andrew Garfield was apparently FIRED for pushing for a bisexual spiderman. a bisexual spiderman within an interracial mlm relationship no less.

so for all these failures, marvel, why not allow us queer fans this? two brilliant and heroic men in a loving interracial relationship. two heroes that we can look up to.

now, one of the biggest detractions from the argument for representation is the idea of "forced diversity". and some poorly written characters certainly do end up feeling forced into the narrative. take Iceman in the comics for example, with Jean Grey just straight up suddenly telling him he's gay. like, marvel, sweetie, that's not how this works! and i don't know a lot of queer people who thought much of that "representation".

but the crux of the "forced diversity" argument is almost always that it feels unnatural within the story, right? and i don't think that anyone could say that about MCU Sam and Bucky ending up together, given these characters' existing chemistry and their history. they've both played characters in gay relationships before so we know that it's not outside of either actor's wheelhouse. and y'all know that Anthony and Seb can act, people. if it's in the script i believe that they'll make it seem like the most natural thing on earth.

-

9. it'd be a nice change

there's been an ongoing meme lately about "Disney's first gay character", the joke being that they continually announce gay characters without really ever including gay characters in their films.

this is to the point where Disney has formed a reputation amongst queer audiences of being homophobic.

if Sam and Bucky were to become a couple, then Disney could have its first actual gay character within a gay relationship. AND have him be in the lead of his own movie, no less.

it's also worth keeping in mind that there's likely an overlap between the people who were outraged by a Sam Wilson Captain America, and the people who'd be outraged by a gay Captain America. and if they were already not seeing the film, then i don't think much is gonna change that.

queer audiences would definitely love it, and the media attention would be guaranteed to be huge. i mean, simply look at the amount of media attention mere rumours of a character's queerness gets you and multiply that by a canon confirmation of said rumours.

but i'm pretty sure that Disney already knows this.

-

10. and yet, in truth, it's not about the representation

in truth i've never felt that i had any trouble relating to characters of any sexual orientation, race, gender, sex, body type, etc. (although that is not to throw any shade at all on people who do wish to see themselves represented) but for me, i think it's more about the story than the packaging.

and yet, a love story is still just a story. straight or queer, monoethnic or interracial. when two characters have chemistry and history and have sacrificed for each other time and time again, and they also can't keep their hands or their eyes off each other, then i'm pretty sure that that's a love story.

straight or queer, monoethnic or interracial, it shouldn't be about these simple labels. it should be about how well written the relationship is. it should be about chemistry, and history, and sacrifice.

because i'm fucking sick of all the hollow, forced romances in media no matter the genders of the participants. i'm sick of lazily written, shallow relationships where any two people sharing the same space for any extended period of time will simply fall in love. it's boring, it's repetitive, and as a writer myself it drives me up the wall!

romance stories suck! and everyone knows that romance stories suck. between twilight, and most of the entire YA genre, and love triangles (so boring), and romance used as poorly-written throwaway subplots in Hollywood movies, the world is in agreement that the romance in western media is simply dreadful. and yet we still want love stories. it's an entire genre that sits at the heart of the human experience (<3), and yet one which so few of today's best known writers seem truly able to capture.

i don't think that i'm the only one who feels this way, either. i suspect it's actually a large part of why fandom is so romance-centred in the first place, that we're all just starving for a good love story.

(btw i think fandom has a reputation for being something that as a whole that it is not. it has this reputation for straight up demanding things and harassing people until they get their way. while unfortunately there are a few people who do this, they're fucking annoying and i swear that they're far from the majority.

in my experience fandom is mostly about writing a five thousand word story at three am while drunk off your ass because it might make someone whom you've never met smile, editing it in the cold light of day, and then posting it. expecting nothing. sometimes getting nothing. and sometimes getting someone send you kudos or a comment so heartbreakingly wonderful that it makes you smile in return.)

-

11. so once again, it is all about the writing.

i want to see Sam and Bucky get together in the mcu, not because they would be a gay couple but because i genuinely believe that their story has potential to be an amazing love story.

and i know the mcu isn't about the romance. it's why in my personal opinion we haven't gotten a lot of good canon romances besides Peter Quill and Gamora. and i don't think that the mcu should be all about the romance either. i fucking love the action and the fighting scenes. i love the comedy. Captain America: The Winter Soldier had no romance and it was a fucking treasure, it was an amazing spy-action-thriller and it made my little gay heart dance. Thor Ragnarok had no romance, and it was an utterly brilliant comedic spectacle action film. not every movie needs romance.

but mcu Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes were doing couple's therapy and fixing a boat and walking off into the sunset together in tfatws. they were inseparable on the battlefield. they've got a dynamic. it's beautiful, it's romantic, and it's gold.

a budding relationship between them in the next movie would be a good way to explore both characters more without the narrative feeling too stilted and separate. at the end of tfatws, both Sam and Bucky fans found that their respective fave felt somewhat underutilised and that their characters were underexplored.

now, that problem would be even more difficult to remedy in a movie, because the plotline of a movie needs to be really tight to work (giggity). and we know that the central conflict of the movie is gonna be action-based (which is good), but we still need each character's personal journey and growth to tie into the main conflict. (which is another issue that some fans found with tfatws, that these characters didn't really feel connected to the action-based plot on a more personal level.)

if Sam and Bucky are already in a relationship, however, this whole dynamic changes. first, their relationship has already been set up for nicely since TWS and through tfatws and they would officially be the best-fleshed-out couple in the mcu. but most importantly, a relationship gives them a perfect vehicle to explore both of their pasts comparatively and connect them personally to the action-based plot.

do you want to establish that Sam is a little too trusting and naïve? then establish this through his relationship with Bucky, and through showing his placing his trust in Bucky. (rather than through having him sympathise with a villain who threatened to murder his sister and his nephews).

perhaps you want to show Bucky recovering from his trauma? show us how comfortable he is with Sam. they get along, they're enjoying each other's presence, we see more of Sam's life and of his family, and then let Bucky tell Sam something that's raw and dark and honest about his life as The Winter Soldier. something about a memory, one that he only just recalled. he's opening up. and maybe what he tells Sam is even something that sets up the future action-based conflict, to ground that in something real.

you want to explore that Sam has trauma too? do this through Bucky. he tells Bucky a story about his time in the military. in the form of a flashback, he shares his own story of loss to evoke before the audience the shared theme of feeling at fault even when you're simply a helpless bystander to an act of pure destruction.

then, action sequence! and it's directly connected to Bucky's time as the Winter Soldier. explore the grief of someone whose life the Winter Soldier tore apart manifesting into a villain perpetuating the cycle of pain. establish your villain.

Later, Sam is dragged into battle against this villain for protecting Bucky. But Bucky doesn't want Sam to protect him. He feels guilt for what he can't control and he doesn't want Sam getting hurt because of him. Bucky reminds Sam that he has a family, one who needs him and who loves him. He tells him to go home.

Sam reminds Bucky that he's a part of that family. And that sure Sam's a hero and his job is to protect anyone and everyone, but that he's doing it because he wants to. It's not simply to prove that he can, or to prove that he's not a bystander (this connects to Sam's trauma here), but that he's doing it to help people.

and this gets Bucky thinking about who he is and what he's doing here. is he a hero who stands by Sam's side? or is he an ordinary man who stands aside? or perhaps, does he stand alone? what does he stand for? Maybe Sam knows. But does Bucky?

Sam and Bucky fight off the villain again, and for the first time Bucky meets this adversary face to face. And Bucky recognises this villain, and has a flashback to the genuine pain that he inflicted upon them in the form of the Winter Soldier. Bucky freezes mid-fight, he almost dies, and Sam has to save him.

Sam chews Bucky out for almost getting killed because he was afraid for him. but Bucky takes this the wrong way and goes off to fight the villain alone, or perhaps to die alone, he's not quite sure.

He puts up a half-hearted fight. He apologises for what the Winter Soldier has done, and he waits for the killing blow, when Sam swoops down and he saves him. He asks Sam why he saved him and Sam calls him a moron. And then, Sam asks him what sacrificing himself would solve. He tells him that you can't choose your past but you can choose your future (connecting to his own experience of loss and guilt and grief). And that no matter what Bucky Barnes still has a future, whether that's as the Winter Soldier or the White Wolf or just some dork with a day job. And that he has a future as a part of Sam's family too.

Sam fights the villain, and it's toe to toe. He delivers a few good blows, but receives a fair few himself. And then the villain tears off his wings, first one and then the other, in a manner reminiscent of what the Winter Soldier did to him in TWS. Through Bucky's eyes there's a flashback to highlight the parallels. Sam gets back on his feet and he fights his best fight, but is now losing.

And then the heavily injured Bucky steps up and fights by Sam's side, and only together do they take down the villain.

"So... I inspired you, huh?" Sam teases with a smile, utterly exhausted. "With my heroism and-"

"You inspired me." Bucky said, equally exhausted. "Let's leave it at that."

Together, Sam and Bucky go back to the safety and warmth of their family. Sam fixes his wings. Sam goes back to being Captain America. And Bucky... he's around, but it's unclear what he's doing.

That is, until the very end. When Sam is in a fight, and suddenly Bucky shows up and helps him out.

"What are you doing here?" Sam asks.

"I've made up my mind." Bucky says. "I'm the Winter Soldier. But now I'll save lives, Sam. Now, like you, I'll be a hero."

Sam smirks. "So does this make you my sidekick, then?"

Bucky smiles. "C'mon, at least make me a partner." He says.

"How about co-workers." Sam says (in flashback, he remembers back to the death of his last on-the-job partner).

"How about friends." Bucky says, with a wry look.

"Bucky... I don't want to see you put your dumbass self in danger." Sam says.

"Oh, and it's ok for you to go running off into danger on your own all the time?" Bucky asks.

"Yes." Sam says stubbornly. "Absolutely it is."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not a dumbass?!"

"Sam, if you think I'm not gonna be watching your back for the rest of time... then you're the biggest dumbass I know. And I don't care if you need me or not, I will be there for you."

"Because Sam, you're more than Captain America. You're more than a good soldier. You're a good man. And I think sometimes, the world forgets what the difference is."

-

...or something like that.

(i only spent like 15 minutes on that. you know if i were actually writing this movie i would come up with something much better. and if anyone from marvel is seeing this, yes i can come work for you. i will make the time, let's do this thing right!)

-

finale

at the end of the day, whether or not the mcu chooses to make Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes a couple, it's their decision. and they don't owe me anything.

i'm just some random person on the internet. who thinks that Captain America 4 should #givecaptainamericaaboyfriend

[obx-snippets]

Chapter 2 ∫ ≈ Ocean’s Siren at the Kegger ≈

Summary: Reina goes to her first kegger in the obx and it’s a lot more than she bargained for.

Warning: Cursing, panic attack, mentions of aquaphobia, drowning.                  S L O W B U R N

Word count: 3.2k

Pairing: JJ Maybank x female!oc

Masterlist

a/n: thank you to those who are showing interest in the series so far! Hope you stick around till the end!  

After long-wearing hours of searching for a suitable outfit, Reina gave herself a pep-talk in the mirror as she sat on the floor, staring deep within herself. If it weren't for Mina and Chris being at work so late, they would diagnose her to be clinically insane.

"It's a party, quit being a pussy."

"It's near water, why the hell would you even go?"

"I mean....you were invited, so it's sort of rude if you don't."

"I don't even drink anymore, so I could bring my own Gatorade."

"Why would you say 'yeah, I know where the boneyard is.' Fucking dumbass, you just moved here yesterday."

"Where are my pills?"

The setting sun was seated on an orange and pink horizon that it claimed as its throne. The breeze carried the ocean's salty scent in the air, tousling Reina's hair that she fought to keep tucked behind her ear. Her flip flops slapped against the hard cement, moving her bike by her side, not yet having the courage to step in the sand as she walked alongside the beach. She could hear the faint sound of pounding music, and as she neared the supposed kegger, the hollering a cheering of teens became clear as day. The lights of burning torches danced across her brown as she stopped just at the beach's edge, her toes only inches from the golden sand. A familiar sensation bloomed in her stomach like a flower that was hidden from the sun for too long. Excitement? Thrill?

A feeling that she hasn't experienced since that night. There was a smaller crowd of teens surrounding a small area of a particular part of the beach, and Reina had to squint her eyes to make out John B holding up a blonde boy by his ankles as he performed the infamous game, the keg stand. Pride tugged at her heart, knowing her past self would have stood up to the challenge of lasting longer. But she stayed put, hugging her body over the soft material of her white oversized sweater that covered a portion of her blue tennis skirt.

Her jaw instantly clenched, and eyes screwed shut upon hearing the water so close. The waves were mocking, tormenting enough to make her breathing ragged and uneven.

A gleeful cheer brought Reina to open her eyes to see John B patting his blonde friend on the back after he successfully lasted thirty seconds on the keg stand. Cheap beer dripped down his contoured chin, his laugh traveling to where Reina stood. She guessed he was one of the other boys in John B's van but wasn't sure what his name was.

Was he Pope or JJ?

His cerulean eyes shimmered under the torch lights, his toothy grin surprisingly contagious. Reina hadn't even noticed she was smiling until a pair of blue eyes latched onto hers, heat quickly radiating up her ivory cheeks. Her lips parted as if to say something but realized how far he was and quickly closed her mouth. It seemed the blonde surfer discerned what she attempted and opted to pass her a nod before stalking away with his arm draped over John B's shoulder.

Reina couldn't comprehend what she felt once she made eye contact with the boy. His ocean eyes. His handsome, chiseled features. That toothy smile that spread to her own lips. That gray muscle tee that made her mind wander. Her bottom lip was tucked between her teeth as she watched Kiara punch another boy on the arm for tossing his red solo cup on the sand.

The one who ordered the sprite.

John B was leaning forward as he sat on a fallen tree trunk, his finger prodding the blonde's side before gesturing toward a gorgeous blonde girl dancing provocatively in a small crowd. It seemed like she was the bait for the night, but Reina wasn't impressed.

"Hot, isn't he?"

Reina let a yelp slip her lip as she jolted away from the smirking girl standing next to her. She was casually drinking her beer; her dyed hair pulled up into a bun with bobby pins holding back stray hairs. She had seen her at the Wreck along with the other rowdy teenagers that occupied too much of her time for just a couple of drinks.

"W-what?" Reina cleared her throat, playing dumb as she wrung her hands to let her sweater's sleeves cover her hands.

The girl glanced at her from the corner of her dark hazel eyes as she gave her a pointed look. "The one you were ogling is JJ." she stated, pointing one of her fingers that held her red solo cup toward the blonde who was currently staying still so Kiara could pluck something out of his eye. "The sweetheart who ordered the sprite is Pope, and you met the rest--oh, and I'm Harlow. Westwick."

Harlow held out a hand, and Reina glanced down at her black painted fingers before shaking it gently.

“Reina Lynch.”

Harlow made a face, “Reina. I like it.”

Reina was surprised when she felt a smile pull at the corner of her mouth. She looked back up at Harlow, a kind expression of her own on her face.

“Thanks,” she replied.

Harlow took a large gulp of her drink, blinking wildly when some of it splashed into her eye, “So,” she started, clearing her throat, “how long you been in the OBX?”

Reina let out a sigh, carding her hand through her hair before tugging her sleeve back over her hand, “not long,” she answered, “definitely still adjusting.”

Harlow nodded her head, shivering from a gust of wind before brushing some of her baby hairs from her eyes, “Yeah, it takes a while,” Harlow laughed, “where are you from?“

“Cali.”

Harlow gaped quickly with a laugh, “Oooh! California, I like it. That’s totally rad, dude.”

Reina let out a laugh, a real laugh. “Nobody talks like that in California, you know?”

Harlow’s pink lips parted, ready to reply to her when the song switched, causing a gasp to slip from her mouth, “I love this song!” she exclaimed, turning in small circles to find a place to set her cup down, “dance with me!”

Reina clammed up immediately, the smile slipping from her face as her eyes darted to the crowd of drunk dancing teenagers. “Oh, no, I-“

“Come on!” Harlow cried over the blaring music and shouting, her dainty hand wrapping around her wrist, “please! nobody else likes to dance to this song with me!”

Reina pondered for a moment, letting Harlow shake her limp arm, chewing on her bottom lip. Worry pooled her eyes, wondering how it would feel to jump back into the party life so soon. She hasn't had a drink, so as long she steered clear of any and all alcohol consumption, one dance didn't seem like the worst thing. Besides, her blue Gatorade was tucked safely on her bike, where she had parked it by a palm tree.  

“Okay,” Reina sighed, itching a random spot on her neck before she touched her regrettable scars and coiled her hand away, a smile touching her lips once she met Harlow's eyes, “one dance.”

She didn't seem like it at first, but Harlow Westwick was a firecracker who's adrenaline had boosted to a hundred by the time she started dancing. Reina couldn't help but laugh anytime the girl poorly busted a dance move that, in her opinion, was killer. Instead of trying to mirror anyone else's movent, Reina gradually let her body sway to the heavy pumping music, her eye getting lost in the darkness and focusing on the song's base. Soon enough, the two had been dancing for an hour, disregarding Reina's 'one dance' policy.

Reina followed the tipsy girl around the boneyard, not bothering to tell her to ease up on the drinking as she didn't see it as her place to tell her what to do. She had caught Kira glancing toward her and passed her a small smile before quickly grabbing Harlow's waist when she nearly fell face-first on the sand. Too occupied with keeping Harlow upright as she marched down the beach, Reina overlooked JJ, John B, and Pope staring at her from where they sat around a bomb fire.

“So,” JJ started, downing the last of his beer, “what do we think of the new girl?”

John B casted his eyes over to Reina, who was dancing with their friend, more trying to hold her up than anything, “She seems cool,” he replied with a shrug.

Pope nodded along, his eyes still on Reina and Harlow down the beach, “She sounded nice, and she’s currently babysitting Harlow, so seems like she could hang.”

JJ tapped his ring clad finger against his plastic cup, his eyes dancing side to side, “Think I could bag her?”

His question sent the other two boys into a groan, Pope rolling his head back and John B tossing a nearby empty solo cup at him,

“Jesus, man! Do you think about anything other than sleeping with girls?”

JJ looked up, pondering, “Weed,” he answered, “spend a lot of time thinking about weed.”

“Yeah, we know,” Pope said, rolling his eyes.

“She could be gay,” John B suggested.

“What makes you think she’s gay?” JJ asked, face scrunched in confusion.

“What makes you think she’s straight?” Pope rebutted.

“Touché, Pope,” JJ tipped his empty cup at him, “touché.”

The wind was nipping at Reina's skin once the music suddenly died down. She had been following Harlow for so long that she just realized how different the sand felt under her sandals. The ground was a bit more firm but squishy at the same time, unlike the dry sand she had been wondering just hours prior. Reina stopped dead in her tracks when the sound of waves broke her from her trance. She inhaled sharply, her smile dropping, and her eyes widening in mild horror. The smell of salt became like a toxin in her lungs, and she stumbled back, her hands balling into a fist. If she knew Harlow would lead her this close to the water, she wouldn't have taken up the offer to dance. The dark sky made the water look like a raging god, calling her to step into its deadly grasp.

Despite the influx of cold wind, Reina found herself sweating under her sweater as she created more distance between herself and the ocean. A flash of a flowy green dress came across her eye when she saw Harlow drunken figure dancing toward the water. Her heart nearly jumped out of her chest, seeing her tread dangerously closer to the shallow part of the ocean. The girl couldn't even keep herself balanced on the sand, and the waves would devour her immediately if she got any closer.

"Um, Harlow," Reina's tone was scarcely over a shout, not wanting to scare the girl. "could we maybe head back to the party?"

Harlow flimsily whipped her body around, her pale cheeks flushed with heat as a grin played on her lips. "There's not a pool at the party, Reina!" Harlow stated, her hand's failing to properly set on her hips as they kept slipping off.

"This isn't a fucking pool, it's the ocean. Now could you please--Harlow!

The giggling mess of a teenager took another tantalizing step into the water until she was knee-deep. The waves roughly slapped onto the back of her legs, her body bucking forward, bringing Reina to gasp. Any person with sense would have marched to Harlow and dragged her away from the water to prevent her from drowning. But Reina stayed glued in place, watching the tipsy teen splash water about. Maybe if she called her enough times, Harlow would listen.

Reina bounced on one of her legs, her pleading eyes desperately trying to spot one of her friends in the crowd that seems small considering how far they had traveled. Another loud splash brought Reina to look back at Harlow. Water must have got in her eyes, and she was brutally rubbing her knuckles over her eyelids to cease the burning. Reina's heart stopped upon seeing a wave hurtling toward Harlow, but as her words got stuck in her throat, the water slammed into her back, her body lurching forward face-first into the icy sea.

"Harlow!" Reina cried, taking a hesitant step forward. Her ears keened in on the waves, her eyes adjusting to the darkness to try and spot Harlow but nothing. She prayed that her head would appear above the waves, smiling and breathing. But nothing again. It's as if the ocean had eaten her alive and didn't think twice to bother apologizing.

Reina's breathing became uneven once she realized Harlow wasn't resurfacing as long as she stood there doing nothing. "Fuck me.." she huffed and shook her head.

Without a second thought, Reina was dashing forward down the small hill that led to the water, kicking off her sandals. Her mind was so hellbent on saving Harlow that she didn't focus on how the water felt on her torso, how it tugged on her figure to swim deeper. She knew if she let her mind find out that she was indeed in the ocean, she would surely drown, and both girls would be lost at sea.  

Reina's hair was now wet as she was forced to dive under and let the salt burn her vision as he tried to make out Harlow's silhouette in the darkness. She kicked around, her hands roaming the area until she felt her hand swipe across a clothing material. She instantly heaved the girl's body up until Harlow's face was above water. She was completely unresponsive, and a sting of guilt tugged at her chest. If she hadn't hesitated, Harlow would still be breathing.

She pulled Harlow to the shore with all her strength, letting her body lay on the wet sand. Reina brushed her damp hair from her face and tucked it behind her ears to better examine the girl. "Harlow," Reina called to her urgently, cupping her face in her hand to try and shake her awake.

She had never performed CPR, but this was a life or death situation. Reina pressed both hands on Harlow's chest and began pumping up to thirty. Reina gripped her jaw and plugged her nose to pry her mouth open and started breathing air into her lungs. She repeated the action a couple of times, and just when she lost hope, Harlow's body began jerking violently until she was coughing up water to the side along with some of the cheap beer that she let screw with her mind.

Reina's heartbeat eased as she let out a sigh of relief and sat back on her heels, looking up and letting her eyes flutter shut. Harlow wiped her mouth with the back of her hand before sitting up, her eyes wide with her mouth agape as she stared ahead at the ocean that nearly killed her. Silence loomed over the two girls, both trying to process what had just happened. The only sound was their heaving breathing, the taunting ocean, and the party that was likely to go on until the sun rose.

"We shared our first kiss," Harlow giggled after fleeting silence, resulting in Reina snapping her neck toward the girl.

"W-what?" she muttered, her face reddening as confusion pulled at her brows.

Harlow was beaming, and the wink she sent to Reina made her squirm in place as she stared at the girl stunned.

"Harlow!"

Both girls looked back to see Kiara, JJ, John B, and Pope rushing toward them.

“Holy shit!” Pope examined the girl's soaked state and shivering bodies, “what happened?”

“Had a near-death experience, P man,” Harlow answered as her feet wiggled in the sand, “but God herself over here saved me.”

“Are you seriously cracking jokes right now?” Kie shouted, her features stitched into an angry frown, “you almost died!”

"That's an exaggeration," Harlow quipped with a quirked brow. With shaky hands, Reina helped Harlow to her feet. She looked among the girl’s group of friends, averting her eyes from the ocean beside them.

"I had to perform CPR," Reina mumbled quietly to her statement. But it seemed Kiara and Pope caught on as they're eyes bulged from their sockets.

“Dude, for real, are you okay?” JJ asked, his eyes bouncing between Harlow and Reina.

“Uh, yeah, I guess,” Harlow sputtered with a shrug as she held her body to find warmth, “never almost drowned before, so I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel.”

“What is wrong with you? You could have died! You can’t just go out into the ocean drunk as shit!” Kie lectured.

“Yeah, Kie, I get it, alright!”

The two girls' voices started to rise as they argued, John B and Pope hurried to step between them, trying to mediate. Reina stood a few steps away from them, biting through the skin of her lip until her mouth filled with the taste of iron. Without knowing what she was doing, her feet started to move her away from the group, unaware JJ had his eyes on her the entire time.

________________________________≈Ω≈___________________________________

Reina's hands were trembling as she unlocked the door to her house, her face blank when she entered the cold living room. The driveway was vacant of any cars, meaning she was completely alone. Alone with her thoughts.

Her worst enemy.

When she took another step across the cold wood floorboard, she nearly slipped. A gasp sounded through her lungs, and her mind found an opening. A door that had been locked for so long that she never dared be this close. But with her soaked hair making a puddle on her feet and her wet sweater weighing her down, the tears that began streaming down her cheeks were inevitable.

Reina tossed the keys toward a wooden table near the door and fled to her bedroom. She had to use the wall as support as she pressed her hand against her chest, trying to even out her breathing. But it was too ragged, and she felt like collapsing. Though her room was large in width, she could feel the walls closing in on her. Like her nightmares had finally cornered her.

A sob racked her throat, and she began to tear off her skirt along with her underwear. She didn't want to feel anything related to tonight's events. She regretted going at all.

Reina finally stripped out of everything until she was bare. Her legs gave under her, and she fell to her knees and shuffled back until her spine made contact with her bed. If ripping her wet hair out was an option, she would do it immediately. From the air conditioning blowing down on her, she knew a stuffy nose was guaranteed, but she didn't want to feel anything.

With her jaw wobbling uncontrollably and her body shaking, she held her legs close to her chest and rocked back and forth.

You're not in the water anymore.

Reina threw her head back, scraping the side of her neck along the pattern of her scars. The tune of the windchime seemed so distant, but yet it was enough.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed.

Her heart steadied, the warm tears continuing to flow like a blanket trying to comfort her.

"I'm sorry, dad."

@pogueszn @mdlyncline @bricksatanakinswindow @ponyboys-sunsets @kaitieskidmore1 @casper17 @moonshinerbynight @cordeliascrown @acvross-the-universe 

[everythinghurtsand-imdying]

Johnlock Prompt!

A little overdue prompt request from @i-dont-shave-for-john-watson that's been nagging the back of my mind.

CW: Bee stings, fluff and sexual tension

--

If you ask John Watson who is the smartest person in the world, the answer is always the same. Sherlock Holmes. The man was brilliant and clever. Brilliantly clever. He could tell where you'd been for the past six months just by looking at your pinky finger and the length of your eyelashes. Just brilliant.

There were very few times John would contemplate over his answer, wondering if perhaps Mycroft would be a better choice. If Sherlock knew, he'd probably go mad. But how could he refute such a change of mind when such a situation as this arrived. The ex-soldier couldn't wrap his head around it.

"I just-just don't understand." He breathed, holding Sherlock's arm in the air, fingers wrapped around a wet tea towel that was covering the majority of the other's lower arm.

"It was for a case." Sherlock said stonily, having been pretty stiff ever since he had returned to the apartment. Licking his wounds, it seemed to John.

A noise rumbled from the back of John's throat that had Sherlock huffing and sitting up straight in the kitchen chair. "The man was a beekeeper, which meant he had direct contact with pure honey. I couldn't use the stuff in shops, there's too many chemicals, it wouldn't give the same results." His tone of voice seemed to give off the impression that was a good enough response.

John disagreed. "So you decided to shove your bloody hand in a beehive, did you?" He snapped, scolding the younger man like a child. Part of him wanted to slap the tea towel across Sherlock's face and call it a day, but the sad kicked-puppy look his flatmate had was enough to keep him in place, scowling instead of moving.

"I was led to believe that bees were peaceful! I was only going to take some honey, not kill them." Was Sherlock whining? Sherlock was definitely whining.

"You think shoving your hand into their home isn't going to come across as an act of aggression?" John scoffed, ignoring the hard look he received in favour of pulling the tea towel off to check the several stings, see if they had reduced in swelling. Sherlock had opened his mouth to give some kind of witty retort, but John wasn't going to give him the chance. "Honestly, Sherlock... You baffle me. Don't scratch them!"

He stood up, letting the towel hang lamely over his chair as he shuffled over to a cupboard, rummaging through it. A thick silence filled the air as John searched desperately for some ointment, hoping it would help stop the itching.

"The bees turned against me, John..." Sherlock sounded so dejected and bratty at the same time, it made John wonder why on Earth this man was capable of protecting England - scratch that, the world. Sherlock was more of a child than the kids who would play ball on the road outside their house.

John held back the victorious noise when he finally found the cream, instead letting out a small laugh. He sat back down and began applying cream to Sherlock's battle wounds, resting the man's elbow on his lap as he worked. "Look, they didn't know you weren't going to hurt them." He used a soft tone, quiet and something reserved only for kids. It seemed appropriate, even as Sherlock leaned in closer to hear John's words. "They just thought you were going to hurt them, so they reacted. I think bees have to protect a queen that lives in the hive, right?"

He looked up at the brunet, hoping to swell his ego a little by letting him show off some knowledge. He hadn't accounted for how close their faces would be, how he could feel Sherlock's hot breath against his lips as their eyes met. His voice caught in his throat and Sherlock didn't seem intent on responding.

The mutual gaze was held for a long minute before John pulled himself free of whatever gay panic had consumed his mind, and he pulled away. Was that a flicker of disappointment in Sherlock's eyes?

"Yes, they have a queen to protect." The younger man grumbled, slowly leaning back in his chair with a sigh. Oh, the inconvenience of being stung.

John kept the silence after that, unable to form words even if he tried. He just focused entirely on the ointment, massaging it gently into pale skin.

Pulling away somewhat hesitantly, John released his grip from Sherlock's wrist and moved to wash his hands. He glanced over his shoulder to see the other studying his arm with a look of dismay. It was cute, he had to admit, the way Sherlock's eyes and nose wrinkled, showing the creases around the corner of his eyes and nose.

"Don't go itching them, or I'll put cones on your hands." John threatened, partially in jest and received a noise of annoyance from Sherlock.

The soft laughter of the ex-soldier echoed throughout the room as he moved back over to the kitchen table, grabbing Sherlock's wrist once again to lead him away from the kitchen.