#eyeshado...

[hollowsart]

Felt a bit bored and decided to revisit that [atsv picrew] and I recreated my White Rabbit, Lorina Lincoln, in it.

Did a little editing to make her look more on model, ignore the messed up bg. I had to push the hair in to try and achieve as close to the hairstyle she has with what the picrew had.

unedited:

[cinnamnt]

absence makes the heart grow fonder i love raiden i miss him my flop boyqueen. girls shaped like mewtwo ass

[moonlit-garden-sys]

I just wanna feel pretty and when I do it never lasts long 😔

[wisted-twunderland]

What’s in the TWST boys’ makeup bags?

I love that many of the guys in Twisted Wonderland wear makeup and that it’s so normalized. That made me wonder: what’s in their makeup bags?

Ace: Before coming to Night Raven College, he thought wearing makeup was girly. Upon seeing so many of the guys in his dorm wearing it, he decided to give it a try. Uses a red eyeliner pen for his signature heart near his eye.

Deuce: The spade near his eye is actually made with a makeup stamp, since the shape is difficult to get right freehand. He has a minimal skincare routine and often forgets to wash his face, but tries to remember because in his mind, honor students have skincare routines.

Cater: has a lot of half used products lying around, because he always goes out and buys whatever is currently popular on Magicam. Doesn’t leave his room without BB cream.

Trey: Doesn’t wear a ton of makeup, but he does enjoy wearing it from time to time. Honestly he spends more time and energy on dental hygiene. (???)

Riddle: Applies his eyeliner with precision and blends out his eyeshadow perfectly every single day. He likes makeup because he thinks it makes him look more mature.

Leona: Can’t be bothered to wear a ton of makeup everyday, but he does know how to apply it, being a prince. When he does go all out, he likes a smoky eyeshadow and black mascara.

Ruggie: The only makeup he owns is a dried up black eyeliner pen he got out of the clearance bin at Sam’s to wear with his ceremonial robes. He swears it’s perfectly good and it still has product inside, you just have to soak the tip in water for a couple of minutes.

Jack: Doesn’t care much for makeup, but he is a stickler for sunscreen use. He uses one that matches his skin tone and smells like coconut.

Azul: uses more makeup than you might think by just looking at him. He always does his base makeup and likes to use dark purple eyeliner to match his dorm uniform when he is running the Monstro Lounge. His contour is nearly undetectable but if he didn’t wear it you’d notice right away.

Jade: Uses a thin black eyeliner pen to create a shrewd cat eye look. His lips are always moisturized and he always has a high end lip balm in his suitcoat pocket.

Floyd: Thinks makeup is boring. His lips are chapped and the skin on his face tends to be dry and patchy. He claims it’s because he’s a merman living on land but the truth is he just doesn’t care.

Jamil: Putting on makeup every morning before Kalim wakes up is Jamil’s “me” time. His eyeliner game is strong and his contour is on point.

Kalim: He likes sparkly eyeshadows, but Jamil always ends up helping him blend it out. When he does wear eyeliner he is constantly smearing it and Jamil is constantly redoing it.

Vil: His makeup routine is extensive and full of high end products, but Vil can get it done in 15 minutes flat. His skin care routine, however, is another story and the whole process takes 45 minutes, including drying time.

Rook: loves a gradient blended eyeshadow. Draws his eyebrows on every morning after plucking them into oblivion in a fit of passion in his quest for beauty.

Epel: still thinks makeup is kind of for sissies and not manly, but he is starting to change his tune and enjoy it more. Has a bag full of products Vil instructed him to buy and taught him how to use. When he tries to sneak out without it on Vil sends him back to his room and makes him wear it.

Idia: Ortho bought him an under eye concealer for the dark circles under his eyes due to late night raids, but he has never used it. Owns several unopened eyeshadow palettes from crossovers with his favorite anime. He also has several pairs of colored contacts for cosplay, but he has never worn them outside his room.

Ortho: His silicone skin is incredibly high quality and makeup can be applied just like human skin. He likes to apply some cheeky blush from time to time to give himself a more lifelike appearance.

Malleus: Has an extensive collection of makeup, mostly dark eyeshadow palettes. Being raised by Lillia, he has been able to apply a perfect smoky eye since he was only 100. His nails really are naturally black, no polish, but he does file them and apply a shiny clear top coat.

Lilia: Has a huge bag full of cheap eyeshadow palettes that he likes to play with. Doesn’t leave the house without eyeliner.

Silver: wears makeup, although you can barely tell, since he keeps it very natural and minimal. Is very conscientious about only using brands that do not experiment in animals.

Sebek: uses a minimal amount of makeup to look put together; uses excessive amounts of hair gel. He even gels his eyebrows to make them that shape.

BONUS

Grim: washes his face twice a day with his own spit.

[milochange]

You should wear eyeliner and eyeshadoe its gonna make ur eyes darker and metal af

- germothy

"If I were gothic and liked makeup, sure."

"You're not fooling me."

[thecandywrites]

Monster March 2025 Day 19- Demon

Part 1- Mr. Kristiel.

Yes, this does have a lot of influence from Bad Omens, but with obvious a twist. Otherwise I was inspired by Lethal Cosmetics and their eyeshadows, that I totally got 50% off of a custom pallate of eyeshadoes for Black Friday and it's THE BEST MAKEUP PALATTE EVER. Like, you can just pick a palatte size, and just pick out your preferred eyeshadows, they have multichromes, metallics, halos, and their mattes are divine. And the range of color is exquisite and I'd imagine they would use them to give a tint to wings instead of a dye or anything. Just, a nice layer of eyeshadow and a good setting spray but on wings instead.

As always, huge thanks to @borealwrites for their Monster March 2025 Prompt List.

Monster March 2025 Day 19 - Demon

Wings Unlimited

Part 1- Mr. Belriune Kriestiel

“Ah, Mr and Mrs. Kriestiel, I have you both checked in.” The receptionist, Dawn greeted cheerfully to the couple before the two sat down, each with a magazine in hand, because for those who had feathered wings, had their own catalogs of special feather treatments. 

“So what are you getting this time Habriel?” Belriune asked pleasantly of his wife as she seemed to have her fingers as place holders on a few pages as she flipped through her catalog and kept comparing and contrasting them to each other. 

“It’s a toss up between Antimatter, Supernova, Ceres, Parsec, Singularity, Opal, Fluorite and Genesis.” She answered thoughtfully. 

“What about you Dearest?” She asked sweetly. 

“Oh, Dark Matter, all the way, same as always.” He readily answered. 

“But did you even see Exosphere? Or Nebula? Or Eclipse?” She urged him as she showed him the pictures of those in her magazine as he already had his own marked with the same feather treatment he always got, just a little something to distinguish himself but definitely not hide the fact that he was a demon after all, who just happened to be married to the sweetest angel ever. Granted, he’d think that of her regardless. But for eons, it was always the two of them, living among mortals but now that all creatures could proudly show what they really were, they both finally fully embraced their true forms. And with Belriune, being a demon, had black feathers. But when you added Dark Matter, which had a black base but on his feathers, what some would perceive to be just more black, was this gorgeous, deep red wine color that would shift from red wine, to a deep umber orange and then with a splash of teal just for giggles, or so Habriel would giggle whenever she caught his feathers flashing teal every so often in their humble abode, that was really a palace that they had used their incredibly long lifetimes to build, and what was once a small mud brick house, just for the two of them. Now had more rooms than they knew what to do with. 

But with as business savvy they both had always been, it was hard not to gain ‘generational’ wealth with incredibly long lives that was in the dozens of generations long by this point. Granted some periods were more lucrative than others. And that was why they were happy to be co partners in Wings Unlimited, which also meant that technically, Habriel could come and get her wings redone, at least once a week, for every week of every month for years, decades and centuries on end. But for the sake of ‘business’ they agreed to only get them done twice a year. 

Since the beginning, The moment Dark Matter was created, Belriune had gotten it, without any need to want for any other. 

“I did, I thought that Exosphere was a bit too flamboyant for me personally.” Belriune began to defend. 

“Nebula was tempting but then I’d have to get a new wardrobe to do with all that green or to compliment it anyway, and I like my wardrobe just the way it is.” He continued. 

“Eclipse though, is tempting, a bit more subdued than Nebula, but not as extreme as Exosphere.” He had to admit. 

“Then indulge me and get Eclipse, just, a change, please, I just…you always get the same thing every time we come in here…” She urged. 

“And you can never make up your mind and end up wanting a little bit of everything. You should just ask them to make each feather it’s own color so you walk around looking like a calico cat.” He teased as she frowned at him. 

“That would look ridiculous. But ok, if you will get Eclipse, then I will get either Opal or Singularity, or even Jade.” She offered. 

“Tell you what, get Opal on the Secondaries, get Jade on the coverts, then top it all off with Singularity to tie it all together.” He urged her. 

“Thank you, see this is why I need you with me, to make sure I don’t come out looking completely ridiculous.” Habriel cooed to him as she hugged his arm and then used a pen from her purse to mark what she wanted where on the diagram as Belriune just crossed out Dark Matter and wrote out Eclipse in it’s place for an all over color to his wings. 

Besides, he knew that if he really hated it, he could always come back and get it thoroughly cleaned out and Dark Matter applied. 

“What would you like for lunch after this Dearest?” Habriel asked thoughtfully. 

“You.” Belriune answered honestly which got her to grin and let out a little giggle. 

“For food- food, not just your carnal craving for me.” She clarified with a licentious grin that was giving him all the drive he needed to see how much a hard fuck would knock all the pretty excess pigment from their feathers. 

“Anything that you find delicious, so will I.” He pacified. 

“No, come on, besides me, what are you craving?” She asked. 

“Bed, with you in it of course.” He insisted in a low murmur as she just flushed but grinned giddily. 

“I’m gonna make you take me out somewhere really nice and really expensive where you’re meant to take in a meal and a show if you don’t give me a good answer.” She playfully warned. 

“Ok, ok, ok, something, with meat, obviously.” Belriune caved. 

“Oh of course, beef?” She asked. 

“Always.” He nodded. 

“And potatoes? Or pasta? Or rice or beans or a bit of everything?” 

“If I say potatoes, that means pub. If I say rice, that could be anything from Asia and the South Pacific, if I say pasta, that’s Mediterranean. If I say beans, that could again, mean just about anything.” 

“And corn?” She prompted. 

“Oh, south and central american for sure.” He readily answered. 

“Ok, corn, tacos. I’d like tacos, and some beer, with lime.” He suddenly decided. 

“And tequila. Good, I wanted tacos too, especially some suardo.” She added with a beaming grin. 

“You can just say ‘hey Babe, I’m hungry for tacos’. And I would have readily agreed. In the millennia  I have known you, you have yet to have a bad taste in food, no matter where we had to go to get it.” He contested. 

“True, feather appointment, then tacos for a lunch date.” She added. 

“With a six pack and a bottle of tequila and a bag of limes.” He added. 

“Of course, we can’t forget that.” Habriel readily agreed. 

“Mr. Kriestiel?” The wing tech called out when the usual male tech- Zack, got Belriune’s file and came to the waiting room. 

“You’ll look great, see you in a bit My Love.” Habriel cooed lovingly at him. 

“Yup, and so will you.” He nodded as he kissed his wife’s cheek sweetly. 

“I’m fucking you in the car after lunch though.” He whispered in her ear that sent a shiver down her spine but a giddy smile to plaster itself on her face as her cheeks flushed a perfect rose color. 

“So, Dark Matter as always?” Zack guessed. 

“Nope, let’s go for something different, let’s go with Eclipse actually.” Belriune informed Zack as he handed him the paperwork to show where he had crossed out Dark Matter and wrote Eclipse below it. 

“Oh, that is an excellent choice too. I take it Mrs. Kriestiel pushed you to try something different?” Zack asked with a light chuckle. 

“It was a compromise so she didn’t get like, every color you guys have on each of her wing feathers so she could see and experience them all at the same time and instead narrowed her down from 8 or 9, down to just three.” Belriune answered as he followed the technician to the room. 

“Well, actually, if you wanted to, while Eclipse is going to look great, what would you say to switch it up just a little? Because if you get Eclipse on your primaries and secondaries, what if we get Nebula on just your covert feathers, just to punch up that green? And we could always go with Dark Matter the Aulua to really give it a one, two and then a third punch?” Zack offered as possible alternative. 

“If you get out Dark Matter, I’ll just want it all over. But the Eclipse on everything except Nebula on all the covert feathers would look pretty good.” He had to admit as the technician used his own worksheet to put those shades over those portions of the wings on the blacked out wing paper as the two together did look pretty damn amazing. 

“I agree, just keep it to two, keep it relatively simple but still definitely more than enough to dazzle even Mrs. Kriestiel.” Zack offered with a grin and a huffed laugh. 

“I’m sure it’ll work out just fine.” Belriune grinned before he eased into the chair and fully extended his wings and placed them on the special tables just for the wings to go on as Habriel walked by and was talking a mile a minute with her tech.

“I feel sorry for that poor tech who has to get out half of your stock to swatch everything before she settles on one of at least three. I think I just might get a whole podcast in the waiting room and might even score a nap as I wait for her to finish.” Belriune admitted with a mutter as Zack snorted a laugh.

“Maybe.” Zack nodded in agreement before he got to work and cleaned out the remaining Dark Matter that tried to cling to the feathers before he put the Nebula over the coverts and then sealed them off before the rest of the wings were given a good dousing of Eclipse 

“Ok, now, I’m gonna take the separation off, and have you look in the mirror before I give you a sealing finish coat.” Zack urged Belriune who got up and looked at his outstretched wings in the mirror. As he moved and flexed them, appreciating all the shifts in both colors. 

“Damn it, they do look kick ass with Nebula as an extra punch of green. Especially when this Eclipse shifts to that dark maroon, and the Nebula shifts to the different hues of greens, it does look really good. But without going like, full peacock that Exosphere is.” Belriune had to admit. 

“Yeah, seal it in, this is epic and awesome and I’m surprised by how much I really like it.” Belriune urged before he got comfy and comfortable as the technician sprayed on a sealant and then brushed it in with a second coat to every single feather to make sure they all got sealed in. And once that was done, Belriune gave himself and his new wing treatment an appreciative look in the mirror, he had to admit, the green was a good change and it did look great on him. Dang it, now he would have to invest in a few green key pieces in his wardrobe. But it would be worth it and with the plan that his wife had made, they would look really good together before he went to get checked out and wait for his wife back in the waiting room as more and more guys came in, took one look at his wings and then asked either the receptionist or just outright asked him, what he had gotten done to make his wings look as great as they did as he was actually pleased to tell them and show them via the catalog what he got, but clarified that his wings were naturally black, so that only enhanced the pearlescent and iridescence of the darker colors they had. 

Usually, when he was out with his wife, he was used to most people engaging with her, but to have them engage with him, without her ever being part of the equation was not something he was used to. 

So, a good change, all around. Really good change.

[dawnettsemporium]

SHAINA B MIAMI EYESHADO DUO "B. FREE" COMPACT PEACH ROSE GLITTER SHINE HEART NIB.

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Whether you're heading out on a date, attending a party, or want to spice up your everyday look, this duo will inspire you to have fun and explore the possibilities of makeup. Made with high-quality pigments, these shadows are easy to blend and apply, allowing you to experiment with different looks and techniques.  DESIGNER!

Not tested on animals. This product is gluten/wheat free. 

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#DAWNETTSEMPORIUM, #BEAUTIFULMERMAIDQUEEN, #SHAUNALYNNSFOOD.

[jennysarkar-blog]

So colorful, it’ll brighten your day and your makeup! 🌼😊

[jadipose]

What would you be wearing to the party?

mmmmm maybe a clingy black dress and a co+rset.... so+me sharp eyeliner and dark eyeshado+w..... lacy black panties and bra.....

[buenasventas2020]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: 2 EYESHADOS.

[wordpress-blaze-176197706]

More about the boy

Into the Wilderness: Part 38

Another week has passed since I lost my “son.” Day by day, I heal. The heart tug dissipates. The yearning evaporates while I focus on the family I have rather than the one I don’t. What has surprised me, however, is the effect on our furry family members. Our pets miss him.

We have five pets- two female munchkin cats and three male dogs of varying sizes. The “pups” (as we call them; they range in age from 1-4 years) are a particular bunch with frenzied barking and head-to-toe sniffs. The cats assess from a distance, analytically analyzing whatever cats analyze when meeting someone new.

One of our dogs, a shih tzu-pug mix, and one of our cats, a tortoise shell Scottish fold, ragamuffin munchkin immediately attached. These are not easily befriended pets. The shih tzu loves to bark and flip his front and back feet like a bull while the chubby torty cat grumps and flicks her tail. With our new family member, they melted. Our cat became so attached that she’d sleep with him at night. We installed a fairy-size door in a side door so she could crawl in bed with him at night. The shih tzu visited him every morning and evening. He trotted on his heels whenever he came upstairs for dinner. We were a happy bunch.

Animals are known for sensing a person’s character. From every indicator, our new family member had passed the pet screening: are you good enough to be with our family? This is why I don’t think our house guest was an inherently bad, scheming person. When he began living with us, he was not the person he became.

Which tells me “something happened.” Oprah has written a book with Dr. Bruce Perry called “What Happened To You?” The premise is that we are not inherently flawed humans. We enter the world as whole beings. But our circumstances- social, familial, financial, racial, etc.- can lead to events that chip away at our self-esteem and wholeness until we think we are flawed rather than the world we live in. We say to ourselves, “something is wrong with me,” rather than “something happened to me that reshaped the way I see myself and has set forth the way I feel, think, behave and make decisions.” It’s “I’m the problem” not “I responded to an event and decided I’m the problem.” Do you see the difference?

Kabir (name changed to protect identity) came from a wealthy Southeast Asian family. He was born in India, but spent most of his early years in Kent, U.K. His family then moved to Dubai where he attended school until graduating. He was awarded a scholarship to a Division 1 athletics university in the US. This is an enormous honor. It requires not only some measure of natural talent but also an incredible commitment and drive for excellence. Training and competition vie for more time than academics but the catch is that these athletes must maintain at least 3.0 GPAs. Kabir had a 4.0.

He told me he had a “tiger” mom. She demanded straight As, sports participation and music lessons. Kabir could sing opera and play the piano and drums. She also was aloof, dismissive and sometimes abusive. Anything but perfect performance led to “beatings.” After Kabir came to the US as an elite athlete, he began to understand that beatings were not a typical form of child discipline.

Division 1 athletics is incredibly tough. After two years, and relentless stress that threatened his carefully crafted personage, Kabir chose to focus on academics. He wanted to remain in track, however, so he transferred to a Division 3 school with high academic demands. He maintained his 4.0 GPA and continued to compete. This is when my daughters met him and became close friends.

I remember the day I met him. My husband and I had driven to campus to drop off a few things for one of my daughters. Kabir was with them and when he was introduced, I said to him, “You have a posh Kent accent. Are you from the U.K.?” He was indeed. His father is a U.K. citizen. Kabir lived there until he was 6 or 7 years old.

I share these facts to note that nothing was/is inherently wrong with Kabir. As I got to know him, I saw the wounds he operated over and how his cultural perspectives sometimes challenged his ability to accept that “something happened” to him was what had shaped his self-esteem and not who he was.

A child whose mother physically harms is a child who grows up feeling insecure, on tenterhooks, overly responsible. If the nurture is broken, then a child cannot turn to a mother for comfort. This leads to anxiety, feelings of worthlessness and attachment issues. If a person does not seek intensive therapy to heal the trauma, these abuse byproducts become intertwined with identity. Only extreme self-awareness and therapy can unwind the abuse impact from the person’s behavior, feelings and being. It’s not easy for young people to see, for example, that the tendency to turn away from people they love is because of the abuse and not inherently who they are.

I’d like to think our pets saw the core person- and that is why they loved him. Our pets’ love only amplified our own and made him even more part of the family. It was a circle of trust-building. When Kabir left, our shih tzu slept on his left-behind clothes for days. Our cat would pace and yowl as if calling, “where are you?” I rushed to wash items and get them out of the house so that his odor would dissipate and the animals would know he was no longer here and would not return.

Our animals have gotten to a more centered place. They are no longer waiting by his door or sleeping in his room. I too am thinking about him rarely- though he came first to mind when I started to write. We will all move on.

I know that brokenness isn’t identity. I also can see that broken people can be horribly cruel, so cruel that the brokenness can manifest as a personality disorder or behavioral complex. I imagine brokenness is like a root system that grows around and in the body, pushing ever deeper inside our body’s moist soil to create embed more deeply in our souls. No axe or pruning shear can whack away the damage. Like a knotted vine, the damage has melded and will be there. To heal, we have to see the knots, feel the knots, and say- “ah, there’s my pain made real inside me. Something happened. This is my sign.”

Please like and share this blog with others. Subscribe to receive it by email and go directly to the Walk the Moon website to peruse the full collection of articles and updates. You can email me from the Walk the Moon website as well.

Source: More about the boy

[lamorgh]

# Look 1076 *

❀• C R E D I T S •❀ basics: AVALON 3.1 by Lelutka // REBORN by eBODY forehead tattoo: VENGE @ Meraklis – Unalome (sunrise 75% v2) – New @ Mainstore hat: VESTA – Jalo Hat – Exclusive @ Unik Event (till Oct 2nd) make-up: Rubedo – marlee soft (lips and eyeshados) – Exclusive @ We Love Roleplay outfit: {Le’La} – Leen Outfit – @ Unik Event (till Oct 2nd) 40 Colors Outfit – Dress | Corset | Heels |…

[rikerstits]

i like when people draw quark like this

[vyrtuosoart]

Lol forgot to post this (I hate it sm tho ugh)

[fander7sides]

Asides Spoilers

The end card was basically my reaction to the episode

[wordpress-blaze-176197706]

More about the boy

Into the Wilderness: Part 38

Another week has passed since I lost my “son.” Day by day, I heal. The heart tug dissipates. The yearning evaporates while I focus on the family I have rather than the one I don’t. What has surprised me, however, is the effect on our furry family members. Our pets miss him.

We have five pets- two female munchkin cats and three male dogs of varying sizes. The “pups” (as we call them; they range in age from 1-4 years) are a particular bunch with frenzied barking and head-to-toe sniffs. The cats assess from a distance, analytically analyzing whatever cats analyze when meeting someone new.

One of our dogs, a shih tzu-pug mix, and one of our cats, a tortoise shell Scottish fold, ragamuffin munchkin immediately attached. These are not easily befriended pets. The shih tzu loves to bark and flip his front and back feet like a bull while the chubby torty cat grumps and flicks her tail. With our new family member, they melted. Our cat became so attached that she’d sleep with him at night. We installed a fairy-size door in a side door so she could crawl in bed with him at night. The shih tzu visited him every morning and evening. He trotted on his heels whenever he came upstairs for dinner. We were a happy bunch.

Animals are known for sensing a person’s character. From every indicator, our new family member had passed the pet screening: are you good enough to be with our family? This is why I don’t think our house guest was an inherently bad, scheming person. When he began living with us, he was not the person he became.

Which tells me “something happened.” Oprah has written a book with Dr. Bruce Perry called “What Happened To You?” The premise is that we are not inherently flawed humans. We enter the world as whole beings. But our circumstances- social, familial, financial, racial, etc.- can lead to events that chip away at our self-esteem and wholeness until we think we are flawed rather than the world we live in. We say to ourselves, “something is wrong with me,” rather than “something happened to me that reshaped the way I see myself and has set forth the way I feel, think, behave and make decisions.” It’s “I’m the problem” not “I responded to an event and decided I’m the problem.” Do you see the difference?

Kabir (name changed to protect identity) came from a wealthy Southeast Asian family. He was born in India, but spent most of his early years in Kent, U.K. His family then moved to Dubai where he attended school until graduating. He was awarded a scholarship to a Division 1 athletics university in the US. This is an enormous honor. It requires not only some measure of natural talent but also an incredible commitment and drive for excellence. Training and competition vie for more time than academics but the catch is that these athletes must maintain at least 3.0 GPAs. Kabir had a 4.0.

He told me he had a “tiger” mom. She demanded straight As, sports participation and music lessons. Kabir could sing opera and play the piano and drums. She also was aloof, dismissive and sometimes abusive. Anything but perfect performance led to “beatings.” After Kabir came to the US as an elite athlete, he began to understand that beatings were not a typical form of child discipline.

Division 1 athletics is incredibly tough. After two years, and relentless stress that threatened his carefully crafted personage, Kabir chose to focus on academics. He wanted to remain in track, however, so he transferred to a Division 3 school with high academic demands. He maintained his 4.0 GPA and continued to compete. This is when my daughters met him and became close friends.

I remember the day I met him. My husband and I had driven to campus to drop off a few things for one of my daughters. Kabir was with them and when he was introduced, I said to him, “You have a posh Kent accent. Are you from the U.K.?” He was indeed. His father is a U.K. citizen. Kabir lived there until he was 6 or 7 years old.

I share these facts to note that nothing was/is inherently wrong with Kabir. As I got to know him, I saw the wounds he operated over and how his cultural perspectives sometimes challenged his ability to accept that “something happened” to him was what had shaped his self-esteem and not who he was.

A child whose mother physically harms is a child who grows up feeling insecure, on tenterhooks, overly responsible. If the nurture is broken, then a child cannot turn to a mother for comfort. This leads to anxiety, feelings of worthlessness and attachment issues. If a person does not seek intensive therapy to heal the trauma, these abuse byproducts become intertwined with identity. Only extreme self-awareness and therapy can unwind the abuse impact from the person’s behavior, feelings and being. It’s not easy for young people to see, for example, that the tendency to turn away from people they love is because of the abuse and not inherently who they are.

I’d like to think our pets saw the core person- and that is why they loved him. Our pets’ love only amplified our own and made him even more part of the family. It was a circle of trust-building. When Kabir left, our shih tzu slept on his left-behind clothes for days. Our cat would pace and yowl as if calling, “where are you?” I rushed to wash items and get them out of the house so that his odor would dissipate and the animals would know he was no longer here and would not return.

Our animals have gotten to a more centered place. They are no longer waiting by his door or sleeping in his room. I too am thinking about him rarely- though he came first to mind when I started to write. We will all move on.

I know that brokenness isn’t identity. I also can see that broken people can be horribly cruel, so cruel that the brokenness can manifest as a personality disorder or behavioral complex. I imagine brokenness is like a root system that grows around and in the body, pushing ever deeper inside our body’s moist soil to create embed more deeply in our souls. No axe or pruning shear can whack away the damage. Like a knotted vine, the damage has melded and will be there. To heal, we have to see the knots, feel the knots, and say- “ah, there’s my pain made real inside me. Something happened. This is my sign.”

Please like and share this blog with others. Subscribe to receive it by email and go directly to the Walk the Moon website to peruse the full collection of articles and updates. You can email me from the Walk the Moon website as well.

Source: More about the boy

[invader-paws]

i bought som makeup hehehe

i never wear any so thiz is like. a dog treat.

[itisnotaproblem]

o l i v e

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Kiko Arai for Chanel Beauty