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reverieblondie · 3 months

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Seeking Advice

Pairing: Rolan x Fem!Tav Reader

Warnings: 18+, NSFW, Fluff and Smut with Plot, Oral (fem receiving), Cum eating, Horn pulling?.

Summary: Asking out your crush can be difficult, Maybe you should seek advice from your friends on how to ask out your favorite wizard?

A/N: Look...I've been playing a lot of Baldur's Gate 3. Then this guy yelled at me and I fell. I have a thing for grumpy guys what can I say. Now do not worry! I still am writing for ATSV, TASM!Peter and my love Miguel, just I think I can squeeze the bg3 fandom on my blog. Trust I have plans for for all my fictional men. Plus I am working on request! Just had to get this story out, it was rotting my brain. Hope you enjoy it! Its kinda cheesy but its what I like, sorry.

Word Count: 6,957

The energy to the tavern is a welcomed one, All the noise you might have found irritating at a time is now a pleasant chime to your ears. How things can so easily change with time. Since becoming the city's hero many things have changed for you and your friends. The city is back to its wondrous glory. Finally, your life is starting to calm down, well for the most part…

There is no longer a squirming in your head and the threats to the world's damnation are at the time eased, things should be perfect, and you should be happy riding an inexplicable high. You are happy for the most part, however there is just one thing that is causing you trouble now. It's the ache that swirls within you that only grows when you see him, the now master of Ramazith’s Tower, Rolan.

The first time you felt it, it was simply a spark, harmless. It didn’t turn into this thrumming storm until the grove celebration after you defeated the goblin camp, and where he taught you his light spell. That night your fate was sealed, now as your friendship has grown you feel those glittering sparks storming through you more often.

With a sigh, you rest your hazy head in your palm as you watch him with his siblings. The amber lights of Elfsong make his crimson skin appear as if it's glowing, he looks good in any lighting with his striking features but at this moment he looks damn near ethereal. You're acutely aware that you are staring at the trio, but in your buzzed haze from four wine goblets, you can not bring yourself to care. People are properly catching you staring like a lovesick fool; you will move your eyes eventually, you just want to watch for a bit longer.

Rolan's journey to the city was different than yours but it was not without its hurdles, then when he got here he had to be met with the cruelty of Lorroakan. You won’t lie, you felt immense pleasure watching his spine get cracked in two for what he had done. Now with that horror over, the scars have faded and you see that Rolan is better, happier. He smiles just a bit wider and his eyes shine just a tad bit brighter. It only makes sense that the Tower and Sundries have become more successful with his influence, though you know he’s just happy that his family is now together and safe.

Blindly you bring the metal goblet to your lips and taste the tang of the red wine nursing you through your pinning. The drink was meant to boost your confidence to go over there and shoot your shot for a date, but it only makes your head cloud into hopeless romantics. Why can’t you just ask him out? You can take on a horde of knols but you can’t bring yourself to confess to the guy you like? Doesn't get more pathetic than that…

Your eyes stay fixed on Rolan as he smirks and rolls his eyes at what Cal is saying, his clawed hand grabs his goblet and you watch as he brings the drink to his lips. Feeling looser from drinking you see as the red wine slightly escapes the side of his lips as he chugs the drink down. The deep red rolls down his jaw and you have to bite your lip from the thoughts that erupt in your mind.

“Darling, you have got to stop staring.”

With a sigh, you turn your head to your pale companion with a devilish smile on his face. With a roll to your eyes, you take another drink of your wine trying your best to play unbothered by Astarion as you can.

“I wasn’t staring”

“Tav, let's not be coy, you haven’t moved your eyes from a particular wizard since he strolled in. Sighing and squeezing your thighs together like that's going to help your ache.”

The mentioning of the actions you thought were unnoticed makes your face blush from embarrassment. Asterion can only laugh at your fluster features as you look around the crowded tavern to see hints if others have noticed.

“I- wasn’t, you don’t-”

“Don’t be embarrassed, you could pick far worse. He’s a bit pompous for my taste, but the innocent little freckles on his face are pretty intriguing.”

Astarion gives you a smirk as you whip your head to face him giving him a look of ‘back off’, though he is hardly intimated by you.

“Relax, I am not going to take a bite out of your favorite wizard. I will leave that pleasure for you, however some advice, you won’t get him from just staring.”

You hate to admit it but Astarion might have a point, you have been wanting to confess your feelings you just don’t know how. Looking at Rolan you rake your mind with your past chances to open yourself up but always seem to back out at the last moment, his rejecting you would be painful but being in this limbo is excruciating. You have to get your feelings off your chest for some inner peace.

“Okay, Astarion…what's your advice?”

Astarion's smile spreads to his lips and he sits next to you quickly, “My suggestion is you make it your mission to get that Rolan in your sheets, my dear. You obviously have had trouble getting your…” Astarion grimaces “Feelings for him out, so why not go the seductive approach?”

You let out a laugh but Astarion just keeps his face neutral, “You think, I should seduce him? How am I supposed to do that?”

“Simple, give him an offer he can’t refuse.”

“Yeah like what?”

Astarion looks over at Rolan, seeming to think before his face lights up, he quickly wraps his arm around your shoulder moving your chin to face Rolan. Then he whispers in your ear, “You're going to go over to him, very calmly…place your hand on his shoulder and whisper in his ear very sweetly that you want to lick every ridge on his body.”

Your mouth goes dry and eyes go wide at the thought…running your tongue…down…his… You blush feeling your face grow hot, so hot you think it could be radiating off you.

“A-Astarion…I-I can’t do that…”

“Oh, but picture it, once you're done he will be so spent he will be the one confessing to you.”

An image of a panting Rolan looking down at you with a fist full of your hair sparks in your mind. Hells, maybe Astarion has a point…he has had plenty of experience seducing people, but you? The thought only makes it so you can’t even move. Astartion picks up on your dazed state and with a nudge he pops you from it.

“Lucky for you there's a creature in here I have had my eyes on, so just watch and learn,”

“Wait, you like someone?” You say it a bit shocked,

Astarion gives you a look, “Focus on your own love life, huh?”

With that, you say quite as you watch Astarion's ruby eyes land on a particularly pretty patron. With a smirk, he grabs your goblet keeping his eyes fixed on them like a predator studying its prey. Quickly downing your drink he releases a cool and steady breath then makes his approach. He practically glides across the room to them, very carefully he starts the conversation with a smile and you can already tell the person is interested. Do they know each other?

In What seems like a quick second he is placing his hand on their shoulder and leaning down to their ear. You can only imagine what he must be saying to have their faces fluster so quickly. Nobody quite had a way with words like him. Astarion leans back up to meet their eyes where they are feverishly nodding.

With that, he starts guiding them to the exit while turning back towards you to smirk. Well, looks like it's your turn…

Picking up your goblet you see he did finish it, okay next step. Standing you feel all the alcohol you consumed immediately go to your head, deep breath, then go. Making your way over you try to not stumble into people as you push to your destination. Keeping your eyes on Rolan you rehearse the lines in your head over and over, as you get closer.

Rolan almost like he can sense it then flicks his eyes to you, watching as you approach. Swallowing to ease your dry throat as you continue to make your way over still keeping your nerves despite your stomach being in knots. Then his lips curl into a slight smile and you freeze…shit…looking down at your hands reality hits you suddenly, you're drunk and about to proposition him, you can’t do this…he is just going to dismiss you… the thought makes your chest ache and the feeling of your drink coming back up.

Looking back at him he tilts his head looking at you concerned smile fading and that's when the fear of rejection rushes you. Opening your mouth you go to say anything, maybe smile at him something to mask your panic but it fails. Your lips tremble and before you know it you're rushing to the exit.

Finding the exit you look back to Rolan, he’s up from his table and seems to be trying to make his way toward you, he looks completely confused and maybe…hurt. You can’t do this…not when you're drunk and on the verge of puking.

With that, you're pushing out of the tavern and running off into the cool night of the city. As you're running past one of the city's allies you catch in your peripherals Astarion with that person pinned against the wall as he kisses against their neck leaving them moaning into his hand. You must have caught his attention from your running, he looks at your fleeing figure and calls out to you.

“I guess it didn’t go well?”

You don’t bother to give him a response, his advice might have worked for him but you're going to have to try a different tactic.

Note to self, do not try to drunkenly ask out your crushes, it only ends in you making an ass out of yourself and puking up all your stomach contents. Thinking back on it you can only think back on the look on Rolan's face…the confusion…the disappointment…Maybe you should go talk to him? You don’t want him to think that you're trying to ignore him. You were drunk and didn’t want to spill your guts all over him. Feeling freshly invigorated you decide that you should apologize for running off. Who knows maybe the conversion could lead to something.

Arriving at Sorcerous Sundries you're not even fully sure if he would even be there, the tower might have been the better bet. However, your guess is shown to be a good one when you see Rolan placing some tomes on the shelves. Gods, you could watch him work for hours…his dexterous hands placing everything so carefully. As you watch you think you almost see his tail wag before he’s fixing it down. The smile it causes to your face can’t be helped, though he is always so composed he still slips at times.

As you watch Rolan work you have the oddest sensation come over you that you too are being watched. Turning your head you jerk back slightly in surprise seeing that Lae’zel’s yellow eyes are piercing into you with her trademark intensity. It’s quite odd that she is in here, she's not one for spells but as you're looking past her you see that Shadowheart is with her thumbing through a tome. That makes more sense, you're happy those two have become better friends. Especially since they did try and kill each other.

Smiling you give Lae’zel a smile with a wave, she only narrows her eyes more at you as you move to go talk to Rolan. Approaching his tall figure you're taking in every inch of him.

He's beautiful, from face to physique, you watch as the muscles from underneath his robes flex from his movements. It’s funny wizards are not known for their strong builds but Rolan's arms and back are a dead giveaway to his hidden strength. Looking up you trace down the length of his horns to where they disappear into his soft chestnut hair, twisted in that half-up style. You wonder if you two get closer in the way you hope he will let you play with his hair, it appears so tantalizing and soft…everything about him is tantalizing…

In your approach your mind is running through a quick daydream of running your fingers along his horns and through his hair; it causes you not to pay attention to where you are stepping. With the perfect explanation for the night at Elfsong in your mind, you're ready to smooth things over with him. Just as you're reaching out you suddenly see Rolan's shoulders shoot up teasing like something just hit him. Confused you lean forward more but that's when you feel it, something is wiggling under your foot.

Looking down you see that your boot is crushing his poor tail underneath your weight. Mortified, you quickly step off of it. Karlach had told you how sensitive her tail was when she yelped when someone sat on it, so having it crushed underneath a boot sure is not a great feeling. Rolan's back stays teased as he turns slowly, his tail swiftly moving away from you to go to his hands. His eyes look as if he could thunder wave you out of the building.

“I-I am so sorry Rolan, I- I didn’t see your tail.” you ramble out as quickly as possible

“How do you not see the appendage handed down from my-!” Rolan stops his yelling and takes a breath, his hands tightening on his tail. There is now a mark from where you stepped and you feel even worse.

“Here let me-” Reaching out for his tail you are quickly stopped by Rolan holding up his hand and shaking his head. Rolan tail in hands starts walking away mumbling a language you don’t know.

“I’m sorry!” You call out to his fleeing figure as he ascends the stairs.

Running your hands down your face, your intentions of apologizing to him for Elfsong completely disappear as you make yourself look like a complete ass again to him. Looking through your fingers you see that not only is Lae’zel still staring at you but now Shadowheart has joined her in watching your screw-up. You make your way over to them with your head down silently standing with them as Shadowheart keeps at her browsing.

After a couple of moments, you see Rolan coming back down to the shop, his eyes meet yours. A part of you thinks you should go back over to him and apologize but you don’t want to annoy him further so you give him an apologetic wave. Rolan just huffs slightly with a nod before turning his back to you to get back to work. Leaning against the shelved wall you let out a long sigh.

“What am I going to do…”

“You mean about your crush on the new master of the tower?”

You turn your head to stare at Shadowheart for her comment but she doesn’t even bother lifting her eyes away from the spines of the tomes.

“How…what…”

Lae’zel cuts in “Your lusting is obvious, sighing with your head in the sky with your pathetic pinning,” -wow ouch…

A stray giggle leaves Shadowheart and you're quick to narrow your eyes at her as she bites her lip to silence herself. Crossing your arms you look back at Lae’zel

“I am probably going to regret this, but Lae’zel what is your advice? How should I go about asking Rolan out then?”

The question is intriguing enough to make Shadowheart put her tome down and look at Lae’zel as well. Lae’zel rolls her eyes for a second before folding her arms and moving her fierce gaze to where Rolan is now helping out a customer. Lae’zel eyes narrow at him, sizing him up as she studies him before she turns back to you with a huff.

“I would not ask, I would grab that teeth-ling by the horns and command him to do as I say.” The direct advice makes Shadowheart burst into laughter drawing attention from people near you, though you can’t seem to meet their eyes because you're too busy giving Lae’zel a confused look.

“I don’t think that would work with him…”

“Tis’k, you do not know this unless you try. Now go grab him by the tail and mount him forming a flesh bond with your desired.”

You're staring at Lae’zel gobsmacked while Shadowheart practically rolls on the floor with laughter.

“Lae’zel! I can’t just mount him!” you whisper yell at her.

“I don’t know, she might have something to the direct approach” Shadowheart soothes

You glare at her “Oh you're done laughing on the floor?” She smirks with a shrug, absolutely no help.

“Fine, I will gather him for you.” -what?

Lae’zel starts going towards Rolan but you are quick to grab her and drag her out. As the puzzled patrons watch you carry out the githyanki fighter cussing you in her native tongue with Shadowheart trailing behind you, smirk on her face. You try to rush out as quickly as you can mortified that Rolan might be seeing the display.

Once outside you put her down with an apology, Shadowheart quickly places a hand on Lae’zel’s shoulder to prevent her from cutting off your head. “Why not try talking to the guys for advice? Maybe they can give you the male perspective on things.” Shadowheart offers.

Thinking for a moment you find that she might have a point, it might help to ask the guys for some advice.

Piercing your lips you study the smiling wizard in front of you waiting for your question.

“Actually Gale I don’t know if I should ask you for advice on this.”

Gale's face changes from a smile into hurt then moves to irritation, “Wh- and why not?” he practically huffs.

“Because the last time you tried to get a person to like you you ended up with a bomb in your chest.”

“Magic orb…” he mutters while Wyll laughs, nearly choking on his wine.

“Okay, Tav what advice are you needing? We can try our best to help aid you.” Wyll smooths out the tension of the room.

“Well…the thing is I need some advice on asking someone out. I figured our most intelligent and most charismatic party members would have some great advice.”

Wyll and Gale look at each other like they can detect each other's thoughts before they turn back to you “You're talking about asking out Rolan aren't you?”

You purse your lips and narrow your eyes at the duo, “Who told you I was coming?”

“Astarion and Shadowheart, they sang like canaries. Told us about your ...Mishaps” Gale says somewhat sing-songy.

Sure he might have gotten a bomb in his chest but at least he got some for the goddess… And Wyll Mr. Prince Charming, half the girls in the city who were in love with him and his fancy footwork. Hopefully, they will have some good advice. You watch as the two men start pacing along rubbing their chins deep in thought. You appreciate they are taking this so seriously for your sake.

“So have you at least tried? Asking him out? I know you two are pals but have you ever eluded to it.”

You give Wyll an unamused look “Yeah I tried, but then something horrid goes wrong, I’m either stepping on his tail or about to puke.”

Wyll nods trying to understand, “Maybe you could try to do an action, like an impromptu dance at the tavern between friends? The music is plentiful, and as you two sway along the music you can tell him with your eyes.”

You watch as Wyll mimics the swaying of a dance keeping intense eye contact with you, but Gale comes behind him and places a hand on his shoulder stopping him. “Don’t think that will work with Rolan, he's….kinda dense…”

Gale then lights up with the idea, “Why not ask him for some magic lessons? He can show you the ways of the weave and as you two flow through it, you can send him your thoughts.”

You think for a moment, you have had him teach you magic before but…that was at the grove…and things were different. You hold that memory when he taught you his trick dear and you're about to agree to it. But you stop…if Rolan rejects you during that…it would ruin that spell for you forever…

“Yeah…he's a strict teacher…can we think of something else…Something that can explain how I feel but I don’t have to choke over the words too.”

Gale and Wyll sit and think for a minute, then Wyll is snapping his fingers with an idea, “Why don’t you write him a letter!”

You look at Wyll a bit skeptical, “A letter?”

“Now that's the way to a wizard's heart, through the written word. Grand idea Wyll! Plus that helps with your shyness you can just hand him the letter! No conversion required!” Gale praises.

You think for a moment, writing isn’t exactly your thing but it might be your only option left. Plus you're sure Gale and Wyll will help you through it! With a nod, you give them the okay and Gale is already conjuring up some paper and quill. They sit themselves on both sides of you and help you get through your thoughts. You thought it would be best to keep some more private feelings to yourself. They both seemed to be rather…really into letter writing, Gale helped fill the letter with praise of Rolan's grandeur with magic. While Wyll helps you spruce it up with flourishes about how your heart dances for him. It turned out a bit cheesy but Wyll and Gale seemed to have a good time. Maybe they should start a poetry club?

Letter in hand you pace outside the shop, the letter was a great idea when Gale and Wyll were helping you write it but now… Now that you're here to give it to Rolan you're finding that familiar nervousness is eating away at you again. Peeking through the door you see that Rolan isn’t in the shop. It just seems to be his hologram today…Perfect! Now all you have to do is place it on the front desk for him to find later. That way if he isn’t into it you won’t have to meet his rejection immediately. The thought of Rolan looking at the letter and frowning pops into your mind, but you shake it off. Just place it down…easy…

“Tav! Hey!”

Pausing you Turn around and see Karlach running towards you waving with a huge smile on her face. This is not good… It's not that you don’t want to see Karlach, she is amazing and you two have become incredibly close. The reason that this isn’t good is that Karlach isn’t exactly…subtle… Karlach is a complete badass but when it comes to love and romance she is a complete softie gushing about it to everyone. Wyll had told her about a crush of his one time and she had gushed about the story to anyone who would listen. It’s truly sweet that she loves love so much and gushes about her friends' conquest, but you're trying to be subtle here, placing the letter then leaving quickly, if Karlach finds out about it she's going to give you being here away.

“Hello soldier, what are you doing loitering around Sundries? Waiting for someone?”

“Oh, no no…I just have this letter to give Rolan.”

“Oh! What's it about?”

“Just some questions about…spells…and curses…if he can detect the traces of the magical…What are you doing?” you quickly change the subject not being able to think of a good lie.

“I was just at the Forge of the Nine catching up with Dammon, I had found some good iron ingots and wanted to give them to him, he could use them more than me anyways…” -oh Karlach you cutie

Karlach looks into sundries and appears to be looking around a bit, her smile slowly dies away before she turns back to you, “Well, I think you're out of luck soldier, Rolan doesn't seem to be around.”

You shrug trying to seem as unfazed as possible, “That's fine, I will just leave it on the front desk.”

“Or you could give it to-”

“No! No the desk will work, I mean…it’s important but he will find it.” you quickly interject.

Karlach looks at you somewhat confused before she shrugs with a smile and follows you in. Finally, through the doorway, you quickly make your way to the desk and you feel…good! Finally one of your plans is going to work and you have Gales and Wyll's advice to thank! Maybe if this all goes well you will treat them to a drink at Elfsong. You will finally get your feelings off your chest, sure…it’s not exactly how you envisioned, but all the other attempts failed, this is easy and mess-free.

Right as you reach the desk, something tells you to look up. Looking up you see Rolan descending the stairs wrapped up in whatever tome he is reading. He hasn’t seemed to notice you however so maybe you can just drop the letter and run-

“Hey Rolan! What udder luck, Tav has a letter for you!” -shit

Rolan looks away from his tome, eyes seeming to widen when he sees you and Karlach. You feel all the blood rush to your face as his eyes meet yours, you can’t quite tell if he is pleased to see you or not, kinda of appears to be…annoyed…or surprised? Damn that handsome studious face!

Your hands tighten on the letter, you go to quickly place it on the desk and rush out but in the blink of an eye, the letter is out of your hand. Instead of it being in your hand or on the desk it's in Karlach’s hand as she is going towards the stairs…to Rolan…going to hand it to him! Oh, hells!

Rushing over to her you quickly snatch the letter from her hand. Karlach seems taken aback by your action, “Hey? What the fuck?”

Karlach tries to take the letter back after you rudely snatched it. “Tav isn’t this for him?”

“Uh…Yeah, but I changed my mind…”

“Changed your mind? But you said it was important?”

Karlach goes to take the letter from you again but this time it is not so easy to take from your hand. Now in the middle of Sundries, you and Karlach are having a tug of war over a letter while Rolan looks at you two trying to piece together what is going on. With some quick moves on your part, you're able to shoulder check Karlach, not knocking her over by any means but just enough to cause her to loosen her hold slightly.

Feeling successful you smile to yourself that you were able to get it back, but when you look back at Karlach your smile fades. Her eyes are narrowed and you see the hints of flames starting to spark around her, she looks pissed and you are about to get it. Looking up you see Rolan at the bottom of the stairs approaching you with a very irritated look, it makes sense you did have a fight in the middle of his shop.

Shoving the letter down your pocket you do the thing that you only seem to know how to do nowadays, run.

“Ohhhh…..so you wrote him a love letter….”

“Yeah…I wanted to just leave it on his desk but…that didn’t work out….”

You and Karlach sit on the stone wall looking out into the city watching the sunset. Of course, when you ran off she chased you down and demanded an explanation. You gave your explanation and that's how you are here now pouring your heart out to her.

“Tav, I think you're going about this all wrong.”

“Oh? How do you figure?”

“Well sure everyone giving their advice is nice but…I think you should just do what feels right to you. Instead of worrying about what he will say just…just stop being so scared and talk to him. Be honest. All these games, and trying to be sneaky isn’t how to do it. ”

You take in her words for a moment before you speak, “So…you're telling me Lae’zel had the best advice? Being direct?”

Karlach laughs “What I am saying is stop being so in your head Tav. Instead of talking to everyone else about this, just go talk to him. I promise it will be best that way.”

“When should I do it?”

Karlach hums then shrugs “Fuck if I know. Maybe it will just hit you.”

A smile spreads to your lips and you nod your head “Thanks Karlach, that...that's some really good advice…”

Karlach smacks your back, basically knocking the air out of you. “Don’t worry I am here for all your relationship advice needs!”

“So, how's Dammon?” you say coyly

“Oh don’t even start.”

Laying in bed you think about all the advice your friends gave you and how all the advice had turned out. Why does this have to be so hard….

Looking outside you see how late it is, people all around are either asleep or going home to rest but as you lay you listen to the stillness of the city. Then your thoughts go back to Rolan. How you ache to be held in his arms…to get to look into those golden eyes on a dark still night like this. To talk to him about everything and nothing as his fingers gently caress your skin. You know you would so easily melt under his touch. How it would comfort you, how you want to comfort him.

Rising from your warm bed you go to look out into the night of the city. With a click, you open the window and are met with the shivering cold of the night. A chill runs through you as you lean out and admire the star-dusted sky. For some reason, your thoughts go back to the night of the grove celebration. Rolan was being teased by his siblings as he focused on his fireworks show. They didn’t seem to be impressed but you clapped for him, before he gave some response about adoring fans there was a moment in his dark eyes where those golden fires shined just for you. That's when the glittering flickers within you started to storm. At the time you thought it was maybe residue from the magic, but now you know better.

Holding your hands out into the still night you mimic the moves that Rolan taught you after a few goblets of wine after he got more comfortable around you or maybe just got tired of your begging. As you gesture you feel the fluttering of magic down your arms to your hands, motioning your arms up you release the spell. You used to call it just simple fireworks. Though after that night it now has a new name for both of you; Rolan’s Fire

“What are you calling it?”

“Rolan’s Fire. You have to admit it has a nice ring to it.”

The bursting lights grow in a flash then dim in a beautiful marriott of colors and white light. The elegance of the spell always fit him and it never failed to fill you with warmth, but now you still feel the bite of the cold despite how many memories of him you conger or how many times you spill the lights from your hands.

“Just talk to him…” Karlach's words echo in your mind. Of course, it’s that simple, but would it be enough? Could you even be able to articulate how he sends sparks through you? Would he want you to? Or would he want something different…Clenching your fist hard, your mind running rampant with thoughts, with advice, with what you should do. Then finally you come to your decision.

The cold air stings your face as you run down the dark streets. With every step, your mind screams how this is crazy but your heart urges your tired feet forward. Running as fast as your legs can take you, the city and the few late-night pedestrians blur beside you as your eyes keep forward to one goal. Ramazith’s Tower.

Running up to the tower you don’t even give yourself a minute to catch your breath before banging on the doors with all your might. You know you won’t be able to rest until you finally settle this with him. Rolan needs to know, you need to know so you can function again. The pinning of your heart has thoroughly consumed you, it’s time. If only this damn door would open!

The frustration you feel gets released as you beat against the door,

“Stop beating against that damn door!”

The voice sounds rough with sleep but still has that formal tone you have grown to listen for, to adore…

The door swinging open you immediately feel those sparks. His hair, usually tied back so precisely is knotted back in a messy rush, he looks surprised to see you. His handsome face contorted to scrunch in confusion at your slummed body still trying to catch your breath. Staring at him in this state is not helping you catch your breath in the slightest.

Rolan's chest, usually concealed underneath his robes, is now exposed showing off his toned chest covered in those defining ridges that decorate his red skin. Unable to help yourself, your eyes follow the trail of his ridges to his abs then the simple trousers that are keeping the rest of him from you.

“Tav?” his voice is laced with concern before it's going back to his usual irritated one. “What are you doing here? Going to act like a lunatic then run off again?” Rolan steps closer “What's been going on with you? I thought we were friends and you keep avoiding me! So what is it now that is so damned impor-”

“Rolan, how do I ask you out?” you interrupt while still trying to catch your breath.

“Wh-What?” Rolan's dark eyes are wide, any trace of sleep has been knocked out of him by your question.

Pushing past him you walk into the tower. The tower has usually been lit up when you have seen it before, but now it's dark and intimidating. Turning to look at Rolan he still has that shocked look on his face. You know your question is sudden, but you couldn’t think of anything else. Nervously you begin rambling.

“Look, I know it’s a sudden question but I don’t know what else to do. I have asked everyone for advice, and I just can’t seem to do any of it right. So might as well just ask the source right? Because all the stuff I have tried I choke, or Im making a complete ass out of myself. So please, just tell me…so I can do it and get this…nonning ache out! I know the reject-”

During your pacing rant, you feel hands cupping your face gently, slowly they raise your head to have you meet his golden eyes. All the words die off in your throat, Rolan’s is staring at you so intensely. With him so close you take in the details of his horns, the freckles peppering his red skin. The feeling of his hands warming your skin, you want to stay like this forever but you just wish you knew what he was thinking.

“Rolan I-”

“Quiet.”

Rolan’s command instantly silences you. The sparks you have been feeling are erupting into a storm of excitement that rushes through you. His thumbs carefully brush against your skin only making you lean in closer. Rolons eyes glow in the darkness, you want to tell him how they set you on fire but right as you're parting your lips Rolan dips down and presses his mouth to yours. His soft lips make all your thoughts melt away. The thundering sparks are bursting into a warmth throughout your body. Rolan’s Fire…

Slowly as he keeps guiding your lips with a growing intensity, then carefully you feel your body being guided back. Once you feel your back meet the wall you break the kiss with a gasp, but it's only a quick second before his lips are pressing to yours once more. Rolan's hands slide down from your jaw to your hips bringing them closer to press against himself. A soft moan leaves your chest when you feel the hardness of his arousal straining against you.

Rolan slips his tongue between your lips to taste you, the deepening of the kiss causes you to tighten your thighs feeling yourself getting wetter with each pass of his tongue. Your hands find a place on the hard ridges on his warm chest, as you trace over them slowly you feel him groan into the kiss. Then Rolan breaks the and his warm breath fans over your ear as he speaks.

“Ask me now.”

The words barely register in your foggy mind as you feel Rolan slipping his hands underneath your shirt.

“What?” You can hardly manage the word, your shaky breath makes Rolan lean into your neck with a smile and a kiss, slowly he drags his soft lips against your skin sending shivers of excitement through you. Then his voice is back in your ear purring his words to you.

“Ask me out again…tell me what you want…please…I need to hear it.”

The hands underneath your shirt find your breasts and crease them as you stumble a moan trying to find your words.

“Rolan…”

“Yes?”, he whispers as he strips your shirt from you. His eyes roam over all your curves before he leans into your exposed chest, palming and lightly teasing at your sensitive skin.

“I want you in every way possible…I..want you,” you practically cry as you feel him move from your chest to sink lower, sliding his lips against your stomach. Once reaching the hem of your pants he tugs down your pants, rolling your pants and underwear down carefully exposing your wet sex.

Kneeling now you feel his lips press against your hips causing you to arch them forward. Shaky hands slide up the back of your thighs, suddenly you feel one of your legs being lifted to hook over his shoulder. Heart beating out of your chest you look down to see his eyes are already on you as he waits patiently on one knee. His eyes are completely blown with desire and you can feel the anticipation in his shaking touch as he rubs his hand on the outside of your thigh.

“Go out with me?” you ask desperately.

“Gods yes,” he groans before pressing his face into your folds, his hot tongue quickly finds your clit nudging and licking against the bundle making you throw your head back in a sharp gasp.

Rolan being a quick learner latches onto your swollen bundle, sucking and twirling his tongue against it. The sudden stimulation has a moan escaping you then quickly your hand comes down to grasp one of his horns, holding on desperately as you watch him ravishingly pleasure you.

Rolan's eyes widen then roll back as your grip gets tighter on his horn. The groan he releases from the sensation vibrates through you, tightening the coil in your stomach. The slick from your quivering slit is rolling down his chin. Moving slightly he laps his tongue to taste more, Adjusting so his perfect nose is rubbing against your clit. His tongue breaching your insides makes you grab both horns as you pull him in closer. You moan his name like a prayer as you ride against his face.

The more you tug on his horns the more he groans, he can't help but grasp hard on your behind making you whine more as his nails dig into you. Your stomach starts to suddenly tighten more as his velvet tongue finds the sweet stop within you.

“There! Fuck there! D-Don't, Ah!” you push your hips off the wall but he's quickly pushing them back against it to keep you still.

Keeping his eyes on you, he watches as the hot wave of pleasure rushes through you. Clasping your hand over your mouth you moan and shake as your orgasm hits. Rolan eagerly licks and sucks up your release as you ride out your high.

Finally coming down from it Rolan starts to move away from your spent cunt, though before he's moved away completely he gives a quick nip to your clit making you let out a sharp whine.

Body feeling feverish you lean and brace yourself against the wall, trembling and breathing heavily. Rolan rises from his kneel and you watch in awe as a mix of your arousal and his spit glistens against his perfect face. He brings his hand to wipe his face, his eyes flicking down at you as he smiles then licks up the residue from his fingers.

“Meet me at Elfsong tomorrow night?”

Stars in your eyes you nod absentmindedly at him, “Yes…”

Gods you can’t wait for tomorrow…

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messiahzzz · 6 months

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i’d briefly like to talk about the “it was fine” dialogue option that happens the morning after gale’s Last Night Alive scene in act ii and about the fandom's general reaction to it.

gale is a character who evidently enjoys the occasional teasing. taking the piss out of your partner every once in a while can certainly be a way of showing affection. however, it is important to consider the context of the situation: what is at stake for him and his current emotional state, as well as what exactly had transpired between the two of them prior to said conversation.

gale: forgive me. these were already trying times before elminster delivered his missive. now, for me at least, they are potentially end times.

after he and tav had spent the night together and confessed their love to each other, gale is once again showing himself utterly vulnerable and is carefully asking them for reassurance.

gale: [..] i hope that night meant as much to you as it did to me.

gale: but you - you led me away from the edge.

gale: without your words, your touch... i fear i would have sought purpose and solace in that void. you reminded me what living can feel like.

he wants to check in with them, after both of them have shared something tender and very intimate, something he might even consider life-altering.

gale: we didn't just make love. we bonded, body and soul. i got lost in you.

it’s not even about gale “not being able to read social cues” and “not recognizing the fact that it was meant in jest.” in fact, i’d argue it is a rather tone-deaf, inconsiderate response and just genuinely a REALLY BAD TIME to joke at your partner's expense when they are actively baring their feelings to you and are asking you for reassurance.

i have seen people write off his reaction as “unwarranted” or “overtly dramatic” but in my humble opinion, it is pretty understandable given the nature of their conversation and what he is asking of them. it's also sad how there seems to be a general pattern of gale's emotions and boundaries getting played off as a joke, while other companions get shown the courtesy of thorough analysis/understanding. he is proud of his skill as a lover and the fact that he was able to bring them pleasure, yet his inquiry is less about him wanting tav to stroke his ego and more about him, once again, asking if you indeed share the same feelings for each other… after the emotional high has now passed.

gale has an ever-present need for clarity in his relationships, very likely due to the fact that this was something he couldn’t request of mystra. he might appear more sensitive in that regard compared to the other companions. he doesn’t want to take himself too seriously, but this still often clashes with his general feeling of inadequacy. where he is able to take criticism as long as it isn’t related to his performance, overall prowess and usefulness.

yes, his response is passive-aggressive and yes, he IS obviously hurt by what tav said. yet merely repeating “it was fine” in response to a heartfelt, genuine question could’ve as well been interpreted in that manner. if tav does clarify that they have only been joking, he apologizes to them instead. otherwise his dialogue remains the same, albeit said in a more embarrassed & awkward tone.

gale is a character who is dealing with deep-rooted self-worth issues and yet that doesn’t mean that he wants to be handled with kid gloves, far from it. he craves a relationship in which his emotional needs are recognized, respected and cared for, where he can be unabashedly open and vulnerable without facing ridicule nor pity for it. and he is more than willing to give the same in return.

also y’know — there is a time and a place.

#“briefly” they said (sorry can't shut up once i've started. you'll have to bear with me)#this has been bothering me for a while now #by all means roast your wizard to your hearts content #but maybe opt for his shortcomings that aren’t genuinely hurtful/rooted in his self-hatred #that only serve to further reinforce his belief that he is not worthy enough #when he is still very much dealing with the inevitability of his own untimely death and sacrifice #today’s lesson in empathy lmao #aka me once again getting emotionally invested in tragic pixel men #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #bg3 meta #bg3 spoilers #datamined dialogue

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sandara-and-coco · 6 months

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₊˚⊹⋆ Howdy there! It’s finally time for Sandrock's final release yay ₊˚⊹⋆

To celebrate this special occasion Sandara pulled off her jewelry making skills to prepare some unique rings for every sandrocker who wishes to propose to their soulmate ! So without further, here's a little story behind each design,

Qi - Sended an intriguing blueprint to Sandara with complex symbols and diagrams…He assured her that it meant something important to his soulmate so she craved the coded message in precious silver with care. Even if she didn’t get Qi special love language as usual she was sure his loved one would get it ;)

Owen - Our favorite bartender showed an intricate design to Sandara, a delicate pattern almost the same as his own parents' engagement ring. Like the gilding flowers on the cover of a fine book he wished to give his lover the beginning of the story they were about to write together in this life.

Fang - The swan holding a special meaning to him Fang requested Sandara to make his ring the shape of that gracious animal to seal his promise to love and cherish his dearest one forever.

Ernest - Came by with this big and expensive pearl that got a special meaning to him asking Sandara if she could add it to his ring. The pearl symbol of his loyalty and love was carefully placed on the gold ring, the initials of his name and his lover one engraved on the inside.

Pablo - He made a special request to Sandara in search of the most colorful metal they could find for his ring in which bismuth mineral was perfect! Showing how bright and full of all the colors of this world his love was for his chosen one.

Arvio - Insisting on getting the most fine materials Arvio asked for a special ring. He showed Sandara a rare sand flower from Baranarok symbolizing hope and renewal inspiring the shape of that jewel meant to bond him and his other half forever.

Miguel - Requested a rather simple but very elegant ring, made with pale gold with a single diamond to show the purity of his love for his chosen one.

Burgess - Asked for something extra special to convey all his will to live in happiness and kindness with his soulmate. The yellow diamond he chose shining in the center of his ring radiating like the sun all his love.

Pen - In secret Pen demanded the most powerful ring Sandara could make to give his special one great strength and power he’s all for. However he never delivered it himself…

Unsuur - While admiring his collection Unsuur couldn't choose which gem was more fitting so he brought them all to Sandara to make a special ring! (even adding a few shards Wilson lost to make the base of his special ring ;)

Justice - Wanted a pretty ring that still felt like him so Sandara took great care at bringing out Justice strong will and honesty toward his most precious one with this silver and copper ring.

Logan - The only one Sandara didn’t make because well Logan made it himself for his special one! On late hunt nights he sat by the fire and carefully carved this ring in bones with the will to give his loved one something he made with all his heart.

This isn’t much but I hope everyone will have much fun playing and living wonderful adventures with Sandrockers friendly as romantic ones ! As I used to study jewelry making it was very much fun to do and fitting hc that Sandara would make them for the town folks !

It’s been already one year that I have being in this fandom and so so grateful for everything it brought me and the wonderful people it allowed me to meet ♡

I’m currently working on the girl next and some custom ones for my fellow builders who helped me with the designs ◇

₊˚⊹⋆ Happy Sandrock day ! Wish you all the best and see you soon to continue this journey together ₊˚⊹⋆

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apparentlytheproblem · 2 months

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j e a l o u s y

fandom- Harry Potter

pairing(s)- sirius black

a/n: im so sorry it took so long, my questions are flooded and im trying my best but regardless my requests are open luvs :)

so this is actually kind of based on a boy i liked (like) and i can't say its been as happy as this but that's where i found a bit of my inspiration for this and its honestly eh

requested- yes

warnings- there is a bit of insecurities and doubt showing, mature themes, jealousy (if that wasn't obvious), it could be seen as toxic, mention of a vagina

siri's masterlist . navigation

Sirius absolutley loathed Bertram Aubrey with every being in his body. His name itself was a bad omen, it was as if conjuring the evil spirits if anyone dared to acknowledge his presence anywhere near Black.

It's always, Aubrey is a liar, Aubrey is a cheat, Aubrey has no backbone, but Sirius would never admit why he targeted him so much without a second glance. his feud all led down to the same road

Bertram fancied the girl he's been pinning on for over two years and what has become of him when he was so easily placed at the smae level as him? he's never had a problem with winning people over with his charisma.

So when he saw Aubrey anywhere near you, a cold sweat ran down his back. he had nothing to be afraid of. he knew you would never chose him, he could never be Sirius fuckin Black.

but why was there a burning sensation when his hands brushed yours, when you smiled back at him? it made the gryffindor see absolute red.

you were pulled into a broom closet in the middle of a an abandoned and dusty hallway by a familiar hand with familiar rings.

only a dim light entered the wooden box, enough to see an annoyed and arrogant face.

"Why are you so worked up?"

his right hand slid up your waist bringing you impossibly close to him while the other rested under your arse. he lightly nudged you to lean and place your support on the wooden surface as he observed your words.

"Because I can't stand the sight of him near you," Sirius whispered, his voice low and dangerous. hot.

His grip tightened on your waist, pulling you even closer to him. do you know when you feel butterflies in your stomach? you felt it in your pussy instead. she was aching. god.

You could feel the tension radiating off him, his body pressed against yours in the confined space of the closet. His eyes bore into yours, searching for any sign of betrayal.

"But he's just a friend," you protested weakly, trying to lightly push against his chest to create some distance between you, but Sirius wouldn't budge.

"friend huh?" he scoffed, his tone dripping with disbelief. "He wants more than that, and you know it. I've seen the way he looks at you. Its how I look at you."

You swallowed nervously, feeling the weight of Sirius's accusations. There was a part of you that wanted to deny it, to reassure him that Bertram meant nothing to you. But another part, a small and treacherous part, couldn't deny the thrill of attention from someone like Bertram.

Sirius seemed to sense your internal struggle, his grip softening slightly as he searched your face for answers. "Do you wanna fuck him huh?" he asked, almost hesitantly, as if afraid of the answer.

You opened your mouth to respond, but the words caught in your throat. How could you admit to Sirius, to yourself, the conflicting emotions swirling inside you?

Before you could form a coherent response, Sirius leaned in closer, his lips dangerously close to yours. "tell me baby," he murmured, his breath hot against your skin, "who do dream of?"

His words hung in the air between you, heavy with unspoken implications. And in that moment, with Sirius so close you could feel the heat of his body, you realized that the answer didn't matter.

All that mattered was the pull between you, the undeniable magnetism that drew you together despite everything else.

You reached up, tangling your fingers in Sirius's hair as you pulled him closer, closing the gap between you in a desperate kiss that left no room for doubt.

The kiss deepened, igniting a fire that had been simmering between you for far too long. Sirius's hands roamed over your body, leaving a trail of heat in their wake as he pulled you impossibly closer.

Time seemed to stand still as you lost yourself in each other, the world outside the closet fading away until there was nothing but the two of you.

Eventually, the need for air forced you to break the kiss, but you remained pressed against each other, chests rising and falling in unison as you tried to catch your breath.

"You. Only you." you whispered, your voice barely more than a breathless exhale.

But Sirius shook his head, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips. "That's what I thought" he said softly, brushing a strand of hair away from your face.

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littlemonday · 26 days

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Ansur and The Emperor

I need to share my thoughts on the worst-of-all takes from this fandom regarding the Emperor

I remember texting my brother once I completed the Emperor’s quest, learning that he was once Balduran and the love of his life Ansur attempted to murder him. I felt heartbroken reading the final letter he gave to Ansur telling him to fly away and be free of the torment of trying to find a cure. My brother told me this was the quest that made him decide to side with the Emperor in the end. There was such tragedy and loneliness to the Emperor’s story. First, there was the tragedy of Belynne’s condition and death, a condition I believe he’s either partially or largely responsible for, and then the tragedy of being turned on by the one person he loved and who was the greatest thing that ever happened to him.

You can then imagine my absolute shock to find so many players repeating over and over the outrage that the Emperor murdered his best friend, that he “chose” to become an illithid by choosing to live, that they (the player) would have sided with Ansur if they could, that this was the moment they decided to betray the Emperor, and (my favorite) he should have let Ansur kill him.

I’m hardly the first and only person to remind everyone that Ansur takes over your body against your will, he admits to trying to bring the Emperor a “merciful death” but the Emperor “chose to fight,” that Ansur doesn’t care why you sought him out, that he wrongfully calls you a thrall, and that moments after meeting him we are forced to kill him out of self-defense in much the same way the Emperor had to.

HOW do so many players misinterpret this scene so badly? How do so many players get basic facts wrong and frame this like it was a straight up murder and not self-defense? And, how do so many players take from this scene the belief that “the Emperor should have let Ansur kill him?”

This post is not me saying that you have to like the Emperor. Liking a character is purely personal, but I genuinely take issue with so, so many players seemingly unable or unwilling to engage with a text in a meaningful way and perpetuating this worst-of-all takes that the Emperor should have accepted death at the hands of his lover because of who he was without any further thought as to the implications of what they’re saying. This comes from the same fandom who absolutely loves Omeluum who also needs to kill people in order to feed and survive.

Something to consider with monsters in fiction, particularly modern fiction, is that monsters represent something about the anxieties and fears of the audience, but monsters are often, in the same text, meant to challenge our prejudices and fears, and invite us to see their humanity. That is: to see ourselves in them. This can be difficult with a character like the Emperor because he’s an unreliable narrator and his morality is messy, but his motivations are understandable, sympathetic, and his needs are quite human. The Emperor does represent our fears of losing our humanity, of losing ourselves, and the body horror of being transformed against our will is an extension of that. But we are also invited to see ourselves in him. That is: to see his humanity.

Others have already pointed out that the Emperor mirrors the player. If you dehumanize him, he dehumanizes you. If you empathize with him, he is kind back to you. But even if you’re kind to him, so often through the game you’re unsure what to think of the Emperor; you’re unsure of his sincerity, and you don’t necessarily know the extent of his manipulations, or how truthful he’s being. I think that’s what makes this scene with him and Ansur so interesting and so humanizing: there’s no mirroring going on, and there are no little bread crumbs of his life you’re trying to piece together. You’re just a witness to his tragic story of his greatest betrayal and loss. I found it heartbreaking, and I was surprised to find that for so many others all this scene did was solidify their belief that the Emperor is nothing more than a monster.

Edit: Rewrote a sentence since it didn’t say what I meant it to say.

#the emperor #the emperor bg3 #bg3 #ansur #rant post #I’m writing this while very tired so forgive my sentence structure #baldurs gate 3

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leavesdriftinginthewind · 1 year

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I think what pisses me off most about the Wednesday fandom is that so many are intentionally ignoring the fact that Tyler is MEANT to be a tragic character because he is a Hyde. We basically have it beaten over our heads that Hydes are the outcasts of outcasts, deemed too difficult to help, and therefore abandoned and left to their own devices, basically giving them no way to NOT be tortured into being someone’s slave or ultimately having something tragic or awful happen to them that forces out their Hyde and leaving them to become a monster and/or get killed.

So many people blame Tyler for every bad thing that happened in this first season when he LITERALLY had no option but to do exactly as Laurel wished. He was TOLD to go murder the people he murdered, he was TOLD to get Wednesday to trust him, he was TOLD to go after Eugene, he had no CHOICE but to obey, it’s literally in the show’s lore. And we are both told AND shown what lengths Laurel went to to literally torture this teenage boy into becoming a monster that was FORCED to obey her. Not only that, but all that “mama” talk and physical touch is gag-worthy. SHE is the true monster who wanted everyone dead, and she ruined that boy’s life to try and get what she wanted. And the show INTENTIONALLY shows AND tells you all that.

We are SHOWN how Tyler was chained, beaten, poisoned to bring the Hyde out, to become Laurel’s perfect slave. And still so many see HIM as the “true villain,” stating that if he was truly “good” he never would’ve done all he did. Meanwhile the lore has TOLD you, Hydes have no choice. But WAY too many disregard this plot point entirely simply because they see it as something to cling to for their preferred ship to happen. That’s infuriating to me, truly. Not only from a standpoint of really loving Tyler as a character, but also from a standpoint of it being apparent to ME of where the story is going, and knowing that so much of the fandom is gonna be pissed off about it because it’s Tyler-centric.

We are given so much information about “Hydes have been banned from Nevermore for 30 years,” “Faulkner was studying Hydes but he died before he could finish his research,” “nobody knows for sure if, once unlocked, Hydes are only monsters or if the person they were is still in there.” Between all this within the narrative itself and Hunter talking about how he’s excited to explore the duality of the Real Tyler versus the Hyde next season, I think it’s obvious that Wednesday and Tyler are basically going to get to the bottom of this “are Hydes all 100% bad and dangerous” problem themselves, and the result of their research will probably get Hydes accepted back into Nevermore.

Wednesday already knows how unjust the whole system is, she mentions it FREQUENTLY in the first season. Once she gets past feeling betrayed by what happened in season one, it’s likely going to weigh on her that someone she cared about deeply enough to bring her walls down for, to actually seek out to KISS, was so hurt by this system that he ended up doing all he did. And Tyler is inevitably returning, the writers have talked about how we’re going to learn more about Tyler and explore his true feelings for Wednesday. They’ll be brought back together, no doubt. And thus, the deep dive on Hydes will probably begin.

I don’t care what you ship, I don’t even care if you really LIKE Tyler as a character, but I DO care that so many have made him out to be a pure villain simply because that suits their own personal narrative better, and makes them feel like it’s more likely their preferred ship will win the “war.” Like, try and WATCH a show, actually WATCH it, and not simply cling to bits and pieces that suit the storyline you’ve made up in your head. You’re SUPPOSED to hate LAUREL, you’re supposed to, at the very least, wonder if the Real Tyler is still in there, if he can be helped, and you are SUPPOSED to feel some pity for the boy who was forced into becoming an enslaved monster.

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 2 months

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So, small piece of advice for writing good fandom aitas--you don't want to be overly vague, because then people will have no idea what you're talking about. Write in a casual, normal way; gloss over any fantasy/scifi details without bringing them up. Use real-world analogues for things that don't exist or aren't applicable to the average person; for instance, the Hollow Knight did a good job of swapping a family business in for ruling the kingdom. The best ones delicately pepper in details that read innocuous the first time but when you go back after realizing what it's about, it hits you like a ton of bricks--but don't make it obvious until that reveal in the last paragraph. There are other ways to make it work, but this formula is the one that works consistently well.

But at the same time, you do have to give us something. The ones I have to toss most often are the ones that do and say nothing, could apply to literally any number of stories, and don't articulate the conflict we're meant to be judging well. Trying to get past the radar by being vague is cowardice and bad writing, and that'll get deleted the moment someone goes "oh this is Courage the Cowardly Dog" because I do hold creative writing exercises to a higher standard than actual real-life situations.

And please, try not to get too heavy with them. These are meant to be haha funny jokes we're all sharing together, and that's no fun if you bring in overly serious subject matter.

If yours doesn't get posted, keep all of this in mind and try again! I do try to keep fandom content a very small percentage of what gets posted here, so I'm very selective about what makes it out of the inbox. Even if you didn't get posted here, you still got more practice as a writer!

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eshayteaparty · 2 months

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Priceless (weeks, years, decades searching for you).

~Fandom(s): Hazbin Hotel

~Warning(s): swearing, tooth-decaying fluff, some angst (painful memories)

~Ship(s): Lucifer x f!reader

~Word count: 2,630

~In which Charlie has decided to host a ball in the lobby of the Hazbin Hotel in hopes of attracting new sinners to a party, and neither you nor Lucifer have a partner for the night’s festivities- bringing you together and opening him up.

-♥+♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥+♥-

Since the start of the trust exercises programme in the Hazbin Hotel, Charlie had been seeing…less changes in her ‘clients’ than she would’ve hoped for. Steady changes, but minimal ones, easily reversed by one bad trip.

This is what inspired her to host at a different time- games during the night, instead of the day, when people were busy. Like…a party.

A ball.

When she had told Lucifer about this idea, he had been overjoyed. He had loved the celebration gracing the halls when the new hotel had finished being rebuilt, and had strived to keep up the positivity around the hotel as much as his daughter was. He had organised the ball with Charlie five minutes after she had suggested it, creating a whole poster on their collective ideas. Once they had a date that suited all who resided in the hotel- which just happened to be that same night- the plan was afoot.

Naturally, some sinners there asked each other to the ball, that along the lines of Charlie to Vaggie, Husk to Angeldust (which came as a shock to most), and Mimzy to Alastor, who was rejected and asked Rosie to have his hand instead. The sweet, platonic proposal led to a quarter of Cannibal Town attending as well, which of course meant some…’diverse’ decisions had to be made about the food.

Despite playing a large part in organising the festivities, Lucifer hadn’t found a partner of his own to accompany him. Originally he was going to ask Charlie for a dance with his daughter, whom he found out was very much occupied. Aside from that, he couldn’t really think of anybody else. He even planned to ask Alastor for shits and giggles.

You had tossed your coin into the pond, hoping for a slice of luck or good karma, but unfortunately, it seemed that people outside of the hotel weren’t exactly easily-approached. Even timid, Sir ‘I’m having sex with everyone here’ Pentious had managed to score a date- but that was fair, you supposed. Why wouldn’t Cherry accept after that loving kiss on ex-extermination day?

For the past couple hours of the day, you had been distracting yourself with helping Charlie and Lucifer with decorations.You knew he was single, but you hadn’t allowed yourself to shoot your shot, one out of respect for Lilith, the woman ever present on Lucifer’s ring finger, and two because Lucifer had loudly announced his partner was to be…Razzle. You had felt your heart sink. You were there, you talked to him more often than not, and you were yet not enough of a companion to be acknowledged more than an air headed goat guardian.

As you were hanging streamers, trying to get your predicament out of your head in favour of the promise of delicious food on the table that night, you felt a tap on your shoulder, and were swiftly met with the smiling, slightly sweaty face of the princess morning star.

“Y/n! Hey, don’t you want to go get ready?” Charlie herself was dressed in a beautiful crimson suit, even shinier than her battle costume. You smiled wistfully at the sight of her outfit.

You shake your head. “I’m not gonna stick around tonight, princess. I’ll be sleeping during the ball.”

Charlie looks mortified, and you hate to see her frown, even more so than the own one etched into your face. “But you have to come, y/n!” she presses on, and shakes you by the shoulders, making you a little winded. “At least tell me why not!”

“Because I don’t have anybody, Charlie!” The words come out before you can stop them, loud and shaky. “Nobody wants to go with me to this fuckin’ thing!” you sigh, looking down at your clenched hands and starting to walk away. “I’m better off on the side. Bein’ backstage was always my thing anyway.”

As this conversation was going down, Lucifer had been working on the other side of the room, talking with Rosie- they had struck an unlikely friendship, resulting from manners and mutual respect. His eyes had gone wide as he had recognised the sound of you in distress, and as he watches you move hastily up the stairs, he feels his heart flutter. If only he was braver, he would’ve asked you in a tick.

With this mentality hammered in, he shakes Rosie’s hand and follows you up the stairs, down the hallway to where he’s memorised the location of your room- it isn’t hard to find you either way, and you slammed the door shut loud enough that it resonated through the first floor. He peeks through the crack in your door, his eyes meeting your back as you lie in a ball on your bed. Seeing you so demotivated makes him feel just as sluggish. With you usually being so uplifting and genuine, this is an unwelcome change.

He steps inside quietly, remembering you had said once that he was welcome any time, and he doesn’t greet you at first. Instead, he sifts discreetly through your open closet, biting his bottom lip.

“You don’t have any dresses, my dear.” His tone comes out as soft and caring. He holds out a few pieces of long fabric from your hanging clothing, thinking at first they’d be something fit for a ballroom, but the fanciest thing he can find is a dark, navy blazer with missing buttons. He turns to look at you on your bed. “I thought you might have at least a few.”

“I don’t need them.” you say raspily, wiping away lingering tear tracks from your cheeks. “I d-don’t go to clubs.”

He tuts gently at you, disappointed by this revelation. “Is it just because of how you identify? If that was the case, I’d imagine you have a suit, instead…don’t you?”

You sit up on your bed, huffing. “Why are you even in here?”

Lucifer simply smiles at you, hoping his expression appears comforting and not malicious. “I can’t have you missing out on his ball, darling. You were so very helpful in preparation. Your efforts simply shant go to waste.”

His eyes fall back on your closet, now looking for something different. “You certainly wear a lot of (colour).” he mutters, and a design forms in his head. He turns to you. “What size are you, darling?”

“Um…” you look down at yourself, a little embarrassed. “A…a (s/m/l)?” you just want him to get out already, but you’re alright to humour him for now. He looks you up and down, as if confirming for himself, and smiles softly. He presses his hands together, then slowly draws them apart, and soft, liquid gold light manifests between his fingertips. A soft, silky, beautiful (colour) dress, with off the shoulder, clear ruffle sleeves and a modest cut where your left thigh would be falls limp in his arms. He holds it up to you as your eyes soften with awe.

“Is it to your liking, my dear?” he asks, bringing it over to you and holding it up by your body. “It’ll be a perfect fit, if my eyes aren’t deceiving me.”

You take the dress, biting your lip to suppress your giddy smile. “T-thankyou. Genuinely I…this is beautiful.” then you remember your predicament, and your expression tightens up again. “But I- I still don’t get why you’re doing this for me.”

Lucifer sighs fondly, coming forward to you and tilting your chin down so you have to meet his eyes. A nervous smile overtakes his lips. “Don’t you get it, my dear?” he asks gently. “I want you to accompany me to this ball. It doesn’t have to be a date yet, as I’m sorting out my own issues before I’m ready to….to cross that bridge again, but…I’d love for you to be mine for tonight.” he takes your hands into his own, holding them in his own, warm and safe. “Please.”

Lucifer, the boss of hell himself, devoted to a woman who left him years ago, has just asked you to a ball. Your heart starts to beat a little faster, and you nod, trying not to sniffle. “I wish you’d a-asked me sooner. I didn’t prepare anything because I d-didn’t plan to go.”

He looks guilty now. “I'm so sorry, dear. I was…nervous. I thought asking Razzle would be easier.” he chuckles, which causes your own laughter to swell in your chest.

The newfound joy in your heart makes you reconsider. It rekindles the flickering fire inside of you, the one that yearns for his company.

"I'll come. I can't say no, now. Not after you've....you made this outfit for me."

He beams at you. “Fantastic! Now get ready, my starlet. The ball has already begun!” he turns on his heel, just as giddy as you, and leaves the room, shutting the door behind him for your privacy.

You slip into the dress he had left on your closet door for you, and it fits just right, hugging your every curve and making you feel more beautiful than you ever had. Looking in the mirror you felt as if it were your wedding day, even though you were only attending a party in the lobby of the hotel you’re staying in. you do a quick face of makeup, patting your cheeks and squealing again when you see just how pretty you are again- and after collecting yourself, you slowly open your door, meeting the glistening eyes of your date.

“You…”

‘Your beauty is ethereal, my darling. If I could spend the rest of my immortal life gazing into your porcelain eyes, I would trade in all that I own for it. You make me feel something I haven’t since…her’.

He shakes his head free of those thoughts. Overkill.

“You look breathtaking, my dear.” He offers out his hand, and you take it. “Away we go.”

As the two of you leave the hallway and descend the stairs, you can feel eyes start to fall on you. Somehow, so much time had passed during your chat with King Morningstar, that the sky outside has already dimmed to the smokey grey of passing clouds. You smile shyly down at your friends and acquaintances below, feeling your cheeks heat up as you approach them at the last step. “Hi guys.”

Charlie and Angeldust come for you at once, breaking you out of Lucifer’s tender hold, and you squeak as they wrap you up in a warm embrace.

“You’re fuckin’ owning it, toots!” Angeldust gently tugs on your transparent sleeve. “Holy hell! It’s only a party, doll!”

“It’s t-too much?” you ask slowly, seeking encouragement. Your friends are right there to give you just that.

“Never!” he says hastily. “Never too much. You’re beautiful.” Angel stoops down a little, pecking you on the forehead before turning away and trotting back over to Husker. You’re left with Charlie, who still hasn’t let you go.

“I-I know this is just a…a party…y/n…but…” her words grow heavy, and you come to find out she’s crying- you cuddle her back, as Lucifer’s arm winds itself around your lower back. “I-I’d be h-happy if you wanted to pursue my dad.”

Hearing this makes your heartbeat flicker. Words can be so strong, no matter how loud- and hers were uttered in only a whisper, in fear of her making her Dad feel guilty over his decisions in the past again. You nod, and sniffle yourself, cuddling her tighter as you express gratitude for her blessing. “You’re a real gem, Charlotte. Thank you so much.”

She sighs, and embraces her dad, whispering to him too before walking back to join Vaggie and wiping her eyes. Lucifer takes your hand again, leading you towards the floor where Rosie is waiting. She sweeps you up into a hug, twirling you and making you shriek at her pure strength.

“Oh my stars, y/n!” she hollers, her sharp teeth making her smile all the more brighter. “Ya look like royalty right here!”

“Thank you.” you reply, your voice shaking with happiness. You fiddle with the slit in the dress just above your knee. “Lucifer designed it for me.”

Rosie kisses your cheeks, then bends down towards Lucifer, shaking both of his hands. “You’ve done her justice, ya highness! Look at this! Are we sure she ain’t one of Adam’s exes?”

Both you and Lucifer end up laughing at this, and he shakes his head, running his hand up your back. “I’m sure,” he says softly, with a cheeky undertone, “she was mine from the start, Miss Rosie.”

Rosie opens her mouth to say more, but the music has changed to a slow dance. She gasps, overjoyed. “That’s the couple’s queue! I gotta find Alastor!” she tucks your hair behind your ears, smiling at you. “I hope to see ya dancin’, lovey!~ ta ta!” she picks up her own burgundy gown, and hurries off, her heels clacking as the slow, romantic song starts to blare out around the lobby and couples take each other in their arms.

Lucifer looks up at you, holding out his hand.

“Would you care to dance with me, y/n?”

You smile softly, and take his shoulders in your hands, his own around your waist. He walks you around the room, twirling you rhythmically to the beat of the music and looking up at you like he’s just seen the northern lights for the very first time, dancing in his vision. He moves you with grace and care, as if you were made of glass in the window of a church. Stained with a messy, tragic story, but formatted in the glossy, unmatchable shape and beauty of an abstract mosaic. In his eyes, you were priceless.

You long to kiss him, you truly do. You long to have your lips on yours, but the shiny, year-old band on his finger is a harrowing reminder- this is all supposed to be platonic.

He can sense that you’re feeling down. He can see it in your eyes; the way your demeanour droops like a wilting flower. He gently angles your chin back to where it was, just so he can see your eyes again.

“What weighs on your soul, my dear?”

“I…” you swallow, holding him a little tighter. “I’m sorry. I’m selfish, aren’t I? I-I want-” your breath gets stuck in your throat, like hot toffee has blocked up your oesophagus. “I want to…kiss you. But I know I can’t.”

Lucifer’s thoughts start to tick by a mile a minute. A kiss. You genuinely want to kiss him, to take that next step. For him, though, it’d be a leap. A leap away from what he knows. From what he trusts. From the last decade he’s lived, the changes made up until this point all threadbare. Away from the day his nightmare became reality, seven years ago.

Away from Lilith.

He fidgets with the golden chain around his finger for only a moment, before the music starts to swell. To pick up, from piano to mezzo forte.

In that moment, the beat is only one of the three things that drops.

The second one is his facade. The one he’s put up for years. The one of hope, the one of happiness, the one that told the few people he held a little closer than a distance that he was alright. He was fine. Occupied by the physical silence, but driven crazy by the uneven orchestra bashing cymbals in his skull every day of his life, a constant symphony of grief and regret. Rubbed out. Erased.

He was not fine.

But the third and final thing to drop was you. Up on his hip, your back pressing against his left forearm as he lowered you by the floor and blossomed anew, pressing his mouth to yours with longing that had lasted for just under a decade, though it had felt like the span of an entire lifetime.

And in that moment, he was.

-♥+♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥+♥-

This took me so long to write, but I hope you guys like it because I think it’s genuinely beautiful. Thank you for reading this and please repost it to spread it around if you want. Xx

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aho-dapa · 2 months

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Side note, because I'm watching a video essay that's pretty much saying everything I've been thinking about about,

With sjm's writing, what separates it from a typical romantasy not to take seriously is that post ACOTAR, the author suddenly says to take it seriously.

Feyre's Calanmai Hall scene isn't about Feyre not wanting Tamlin's advances, but that she does, she's just doing the typical romantasy protag thing of rejecting what you really desire. Think about how this contrasts with Rhysand's scenes utm, she doesn't want them and its not given enough detail, but this changes after Feyre and Rhysand get together. For example, the CoN scene. The fucking mid air thing. The telepathy sexting that can happen at anytime without true consequence. Very exhibition. Much voyeur.

This is literally sjm's fantasies played out through Feyre and Rhysand, and even through Feyre and Tamlin.

Despite how much I like Tamlin, he only really became a truly nuanced character in hindsight for me because of sjm's unintentional manipulations of her own narrative. In ACOTAR, he's also built around Feyre the same way most characters are in the first book.

He is built to fit into Feyre, he's meant to parallel her acceptance of her own desires, her own beast through him, because submitting to him is submitting to herself. That's why Feyre's themes get mixed up post ACOTAR, she loses that beast like quality to become a star to suit Rhysand. And sjm brings that back in ACOWAR with the Mirror (although it doesn't hit like it once would have because instead to fitting Rhysand to Feyre, sjm wrote Feyre to fit Rhysand).

The thing that's frustrating is that sjm is the one that is saying these are just not her fantasies on page, she's the one that brought mental health into it, brought up abuse and neglect, and handled it all so poorly.

It's this thing where sjm still wants to have the upturned-nose high ground in her books, she wants to be right, she doesn't want Feyre to be questioned or truly be in the wrong because Feyre is her fantasy. sjm likely writes Tamlin to not like human slavery, not want to be like his father, and with a self sacrificing personality while keeping his beast like qualities for the steamy parts. Because he's written to have that middle ground most people looking for that fantasy can still enjoy while not being too disturbing for our modern sensibilities.

That's why some people not looking for this find Tamlin and Rhysand's actions strange and gross, but people who already indulge in those fantasies were okay with it. And there's even people who think that ACOTAR is too vanilla (me). Anyway.

Basically, ACOTAR is not meant to be taken seriously, its literally another romance book with a fancy (?) cover. Post ACOTAR is not tho, so sjm makes a big deal about taking it seriously because she wants that middle ground with Rhysand when honestly, Rhysand could have been a dark romance ML and no one would have batted an eye. But that wouldn't work for the precedent sjm established with the middle ground, she needs that 'he's feral and sexy and toes the consent line but it's fine because xyz' in her books, and that's why the fandom is so divided. We can't decide whether or not to take it seriously or not because sjm switched up.

Her fault as a writer is that she didn't do this well at all.

I mean, this is also coming from the same woman that briefly had another one of her characters entertain their sovereign right to colonization in goodwill, so. This woman should never have been taken seriously. Unfortunately, she insists upon herself. So in order to actually discuss these books, we have to take her silliness seriously.

(Which is why I stopped because it's an endless cycle of saying sjm wrote something silly and because she's saying it's serious, now we gotta be serious about bat birthing or whatever)

Never forget how I saw a bat get birthed just to actualize how stupid the *gets shot*

#sorry but like #i don't like sjm at all so #anti sjm #feyre archeron #tamlin #rhysand #acotar #feylin #feysand #oh #pro tamlin #i guess #i will never let go of aelin colonizer when sjm used nehemia as a tool to combat that exact same narrative #its fucked and thats how you know nehemia was just a narrative tool to sjm and aelin to some degree

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wistfulcynic · 6 months

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a non-izzy-centric reading of the events of season two

i didn't really want to get into this because it's so, so tiresome and i'd rather talk about the things i loved about this season. Poison, positivity, etc. But.

reading this post about people doubting their own judgement due to the overwhelming noise from Izzy stans along with a rewatch of season two from start to finish made me realise that i too had been influenced by a year and a half of being intensely frustrated by people insisting so loudly that OFMD was in fact the Izzy Hands Show. My initial issues with S2 mostly stemmed from overcompensating for that by resenting any development of Izzy on the screen because i did not want it to feed those people. Which meant that i also was centring Izzy in a way that he should not be centred! i was letting their noise lead me to read him as far more important than he actually is.

So i looked back at several points from the season that had me feeling uncomfortable and which, from a cursory browse through the Izzy tag i've concluded his stans see as a contradiction or a betrayal or something and re-evaluated them from the perspective of Izzy not being a main fucking character.

point one: "He's our dick."

When Archie (a newcomer and therefore a fairly effective audience stand-in for anyone not balls deep in fandom bullshit) asks Jim why they're going to so much trouble for Izzy, who she has immediately clocked as "kind of a dick", Jim gives this response. Which, if you think Izzy is important, may read as an expression of reluctant fondness. But then, Jim continues: "There was a time when life meant something on this ship. When we lived for each other, not just to survive." These lines are punctuated by a flashback to the famous Revenge crew found-family Renaissance-painting moment. Jim is nostalgic for the "good old days" of the Revenge under Stede's people-positive management style. It is out of respect for that (seemingly) lost way of life that they take the trouble for Izzy, not for Izzy himself. They'd have done the same for anyone, because they desperately want life to matter again. Izzy, as the person whose gamy leg is a direct result of his threatening Ed and bringing the kraken era down on all of them, is simply the one whose life happens to be on the line.

(honestly, i love this from Jim, who was one of Stede's boldest detractors in season one and still the crew member most likely to call him out on his bullshit. That's your "reluctant fondness" moment right there.)

point two: the new unicorn

apparently Izzy stans see the gift of the unicorn leg prosthetic as a symbol of deep love and respect from the crew to Izzy. Which is an absolutely wild reading when you look at what led up to it.

There's tension on the ship. Divisions. Lucius is chain-smoking and jump-scared by his own shadow. Jim, Archie, Frenchie, and Fang are overcome by guilt over their mutiny and frantically scrubbing nonexistent blood from the deck in what is a fantastically darkly funny Lady Macbeth moment for them. Izzy is sloppy drunk and yelling nonsensical abuse at the unicorn masthead. Roach, Pete, Oluwande, and Wee John make a well-intentioned but ill-conceived attempt to bring everyone back together (i say "everyone" but Izzy, significantly, is not included) which leads to them all being at each other's throats in the sort of mutually-assured-destruction configuration that starts world wars. It's a great scene. Izzy is not a part of it.

until he interrupts them, throws the unicorn legs at them and in his drunken clumsiness breaks his prosthetic. He then pointedly refuses their offers of assistance and drags himself away along the floor by his arms.

my friends. This is peak pathos. The crew do not respect Izzy in this moment, they feel sorry for him. They realise that he's worse off than any of the rest of them and that knowledge brings them back together. Making the unicorn prosthetic is barely about Izzy at all. It's about the crew coming together, repairing the rifts in their found family and as a bonus helping out their grumpy second cousin who doesn't really want to be there but has nowhere else to go. It's also a very generous offer of a new place on the ship--as the new unicorn--and a fresh start. Because that's what life on the Revenge is. For everyone.

point three: la vie en rose

much has been made of Izzy putting on drag makeup and singing at the Calypso birthday party, and fair enough. That's a big character development point for him. i don't hate it, though i wish there'd been more build-up to it, a longer conversation between Izzy and Wee John at least (insert obligatory "fuck Max" here) but regardless, if we accept Izzy's amputated leg as cutting off his old self and replacing it with the unicorn then we can arrive at a place where he's able to participate in a drag performance without too much cognitive gymnastics.

i've written before about the curious choice to have Izzy sing La Vie En Rose in French (after he initially sang it in English) at the very moment when Ed and Stede are having sex for the first time. On first watch i felt viscerally troubled by it, it felt like a validation of the obsessive psychosexual reading of Izzy's feelings for Ed. Looking at the season as a whole, it feels more like a (cringy, creepy, waaaay over the line) attempt on his part to signal approval for Ed and Stede's relationship. Especially when taken in conjunction with his (super creepy, like wtf who greenlit this) interruption of their breakfast in bed the next morning to make a ham-fisted innuendo. Weird but okay i guess, it's not like Izzy and social niceties have ever gone hand in hand.

many people point to the drag scene as the crew embracing Izzy and welcoming him as one of them. Again, i don't disagree. But, also again, this is not specific to Izzy. This is just what they do. They also embraced Archie with her snake-cult stories, they re-embraced Ed (who yes, they do love, refutations of arguments that they don't love Ed are a whole other essay though) and later they embrace Zheng and Auntie and also Jackie who once stole their savings jar and threatened to cut off their noses. That's what they do! They embrace people! That's what the show is about!

point four: the death scene

i have to be honest, i still hate this. i don't hate that Izzy died, i hate that he died in Ed's arms with Ed calling him his only family. That still feels unearned to me, and alas was probably another victim of the shortened season. But even with this extremely kind and forgiving death scene, the stans are not satisfied! They feel that the entire crew should have been gathered round, assuring Izzy of their profound love for him. There should have been weeping at the funeral, wailing and gnashing of teeth, rending of garments etc. It's what he deserves as such a beloved member of the crew!

except he wasn't beloved. He was accepted, yes. Welcomed, even. But acceptance is a far cry from love. Cheering as someone sings a song at a party does not mean you feel ready to weep at their deathbed or proclaim your undying affection for them.

yet even so, the crew are visibly distraught at his death scene. There are tears in many eyes! But effusive declarations of feeling from any one of them other than Ed would have felt (to anyone not convinced Izzy is the main character) completely wrong and very weird. You can headcanon what you like to fill the gaps in canon but on screen we have seen very few meaningful interactions between Izzy and any of the existing crew aside from Fang and Lucius and to a lesser extent Wee John. Izzy's primary relationship with another character is with Ed and so, as much as i still don't like it, Ed is the only one who has any real reason to be at Izzy's side as he dies.

as for the brevity of the funeral and the fact that they went straight from it to Pete and Lucius's wedding instead of having, idk, a prolonged wake at which everyone speaks at length about how important Izzy was to them, i mean. Obviously that wasn't going to happen. More than enough screen time had already been given to a side character who spent most of it either being miserable himself or making others so. It was time for the rest of them to find some moments of joy. As Izzy himself said, not moving on is worse.

in conclusion, i'd like to address the people saying that Izzy should have lived so he could continue his arc of self-discovery and sure, that would have been great--on the Izzy Hands Show. But OFMD is about Ed and Stede and Izzy had served his purpose in their story. i feel certain there will be copious fanfics to soothe anyone who feels Izzy was shortchanged.

on the show, though, he was treated in a very logical and foreseeable way as the antagonist who was able to see the light at the end but not necessarily to thrive in such a well-lit environment. Literature (by which i mean also films and tv) abounds with examples of this sort of character. They see the error of their ways but they are too stuck in them, shaped by them, to exist comfortably in any other way. They help bring about change to benefit others and not for themselves, that is the bittersweet beauty of their endings.

Izzy let Ed go. He embraced the softer parts of himself. He died surrounded by people who may not have loved him but at least accepted him as one of their own and felt genuine sorrow about his passing. That is a satisfying narrative end for a reformed antagonist! If you truly feel that he was shortchanged by it then you have forgotten what show you're watching and what sort of character he was.

Izzy Hands: not the main character, still an interesting one, absolute nightmare, what a guy.

#our flag means death #ofmd meta #ofmd season two #izzy critical #the izcourse #izzy hands meta #sorry not sorry to people who are going to hate this post but writing it has been therapeutic for me #i'm tired of hating a character on a show i love so much so i shall go back to thinking of him as the nasty rat man and focusing on faves #saira has Thoughts

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rebelliousstories · 5 months

Text

Childhood

25 Days of Ficmas

Relationship: Poly! Lost Boys x Reader

Fandom: Lost Boys

Request: No

Warnings: Fluff, Mentions of Vampirism, Brief Angst

Word Count: 2,404

Masterlist: Here

Summary: It’s Christmas time in the cave, and the Lost Boys mate is making sure that nothing ruins it for Laddie. Nothing and no one.

Christmas in California. There is truly nothing like it. White snowy landscapes were traded in favor of warm white sandy beaches. Evergreens switched out for palm trees, and shorts and a shirt were considered instead of a winter coat. The boardwalk was as lively as ever. People looking to do their shopping and celebrate the festivities. And the infamous band of Lost Boys were there on the prowl. The boys rode up with their passengers, and scanned their eyes around. Far more locals were around this time of year, but that still did not mean that there were not plenty of tourists to feed from. It just meant they had to be a bit more careful. Star unwrapped her arms from around David and dismounted his bike, while Laddie was assisted off of Dwayne’s.

“Stay together this time. I don’t need Laddie coming to find us because you ditched him.” David called out before the duo left. Star turned back and shot him a dirty look, but said nothing as she turned her attention back to Laddie, and walked them around the boardwalk. Marko rubbed his hand across the arms that were wrapped around his waist from behind, feeling the jacket of his lover. She squeezed her arms around his once, twice, and then began to get off the bike with some assistance from the cherub faced vampire.

Paul came over quickly and stole the young lady away from Marko. Dwayne laughed at the pair as they briefly stumbled before moving to go down the boardwalk. She teased the lion haired man about messing up her makeup when he went in for a kiss, but it did not stop him from repeating the motion several times until he felt satisfied that he had gotten all the attention he deserved.

“Paul, you saw me a few minutes ago before we left.” She giggled out, as said vampire was placing many kisses to her neck and chest.

“Yeah, but Marko got to have you for the whole ride over. I missed my babe!” He exclaimed loudly, showing not a care in the world for anything around them.

“Paul, give her back!” And thus, a tug-of-war game was started between the terror twins of the pack. They kept taking the female from the other and fighting to keep her with them. This lasted for several minutes until she was suddenly taken away from the two. Her arms were secured around the naked chest of her dark haired lover. Dwayne embraced the girl and swatted away the hands of Paul and Marko as they tried to reach out. But before long, she was once again passed around. This time, into David’s waiting arms.

“Boys, behave.” He drawled at the two vampires who were still fighting nearby. They paid him no mind, yet continued to hit and grab at each other.

“Boys!” David barked, causing the two to stop in their tracks. Paul had Marko’s ponytail in his hand while Marko was wrapping him in a headlock.

“Stop fighting like children and get on with our night.” He stated slowly and calmly. The blondes released each other with a quick apology from one another. The group walked along the boardwalk once again. As they walked, the female kept switching whose arms she was in as to not have anymore instances like before. She kept watching families taking their children shopping for Christmas decorations, and kids lighting up when they saw toys they wanted Santa to bring them. It made her think about Laddie, the little brother of the pack. Her feet came to a halt as she watched little kids on the merry go round eagerly talking about Christmas Day. Dwayne came to stand behind her and rested his hands on her wait, his chin on her shoulder, and his eyes on the children.

“What’s eating your mind, princess?” He wondered quietly as he pressed a kiss to her neck from where his head was.

“Has Laddie ever had a proper Christmas?” She inquired of her lover, who was arguably the closet to the boy.

“I don’t think so. At least not with us. We’ve never really thought about it.” Dwayne murmured into his lover’s neck. She turned in his arms and wrapped her own around his neck.

“Why don’t we do that for his this year, huh? Presents, a tree, making him go to bed early so Santa can visit? He’d love it.” She gushed as the children in front of the couple continued to excitedly talk to each other.

“I’m all for it. I’m sure the others will be on board. Except we do have to deal with David.” Dwayne trailed off thinking about the bleach blonde vampire. They did not know how he would react to having a Christmas celebration but it was for Laddie; hopefully he would get on board.

Neither one brought up the subject the rest of the night. They did not bring it up when they returned to the boys, nor when Star and Laddie had eventually rejoined them. Laddie kept animatedly explaining how he actually was with Star the whole time, and they even took some spare change and rode a couple rides on the boardwalk. There was not much talking availability during the race down the beach, with everyone whooping and hollering as wind, sand, and sea water whipped around. When they made it down into the cave, Laddie had expressed an interest in going to bed early. The two women in there made sure he ate a little bit before tucking him in to bed together. When they returned, David beckoned their lover over and grabbed her hand before dragging her into his lap.

“Kitten,” he drawled out lazily, “Dwayne tells me you have something to ask of us?” His baby blue eyes pierced hers, and forced her to maintain eye contact with him. She could not look away from him even if she wanted to.

“Yes. Um, Laddie hasn’t had a proper Christmas, yeah? Not with us, or probably his original family. I just figured we could give him a good Christmas this time around. Plus it’s our first Christmas together. What do you say?” She looked out hopeful amongst the group of vampires and the one half. Dwayne looked pleased, Paul was calm kind of excited, Marko was chewing his thumb, Star was happy, and David was deep in thought. It was several minutes before anyone spoke.

“Well, is that all?” David piped up with. Her attention was brought back to the man whose lap she was stationed in. He held a small smirk on his face as he took one hand from his lover’s side and moved it to her face.

“If the kitten wants a Christmas for Laddie and us, who are we to deny her?” His words were so soft that her eyes shut without a second thought, and her face leaned deeper into the gloved hand against her face.

“Is that really the best idea?” Marko questioned from behind his hand that he was still chewing on. A pen drop could be heard throughout the cave. Turning around to face her cherub faced lover, she spoke up.

“And why would it not be a good idea to do this?” Her tone turned deadly as she stared him down. Marko sputtered and tried to come up with some sort of an answer but was unable to. She left her comfy vampire chair and made her way over to the fountain where he had found a spot to sit. Marko was still stuttering out a reply when she made it to him.

“Let me make one thing clear,” she placed her face right in front of his, “this is Laddie’s first real Christmas. This is my first Christmas with you guys. I want to see Laddie’s eyes light up when he gets presents and see that Santa has visited him. If anyone ruins that joy for that little boy o help me!” She hissed at her lover. Marko looked thoroughly scared for the first time in several decades. David began to chuckle which drew the pair’s attention to him. His hands clapped themselves together before throwing them open in a wide gesture.

“She’s in charge here, Marko. I wouldn’t question her. Kitten has claws it would seem.” He laughed, and lit a cigarette as he watched Marko nod and concede to their lover.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I just haven’t celebrated in so long. I’m afraid I’ve forgotten how.” Marko dropped his eyes down to the floor as his thumb found its way into his teeth yet again. His lover’s delicate hand caressed his cheek, before dropping down to his chin and bringing it up to her eyes.

“It’s like riding a bike, Marko. You never truly forget.” He smiled as he took in her words. That one smile let her know; this was going to be the best Christmas ever.

“Will you tell me another story?” Laddie begged as he laid in his little nest in the cave.

“I’ve already told you three, little one. How many more can I tell you?” She questioned, dropping ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas down beside Laddie’s bed.

“Please! Just one more!” He pleaded, making his eyes wide.

“Oh no. Did Paul teach you puppy eyes?” She raised an eyebrow teasingly at the boy.

“Sure did!” The distant shout of said vampire made both of them chuckle. She reached down and picked up another Christmas book to read to Laddie.

“How about ‘How the Grinch Stole Christmas?’” She asked, showing him the front. He nodded eagerly but quickly tried to hide a yawn that threatened to past his lips.

“Or, you can go to bed now, and Santa will visit you to give you presents?” Her request made Laddie yawn again, and snuggle himself further into the covers. She leaned over and placed a kiss on his head.

“They’ll come say goodnight. Don’t worry.” She left and quickly went into the main part of the cave where everyone was busy moving presents in under the tree. Dwayne and Star saw her leave the little nest, and quickly abandoned their presents in favor of going to say goodnight to the boy. Instead, she took over placing the last few presents from herself and the pack all around the tree.

The cave was decorated with tinsel and garland, and little stockings hung around the fountain. A big Christmas tree with pretty silver and gold decorations littered the area nearest the wall. Now, with the addition of the presents, everything looked like a proper family Christmas. Each of her boys came over to give her a kiss goodnight before returning to their perch. Dwayne was the last to come to her, and he lingered just a little bit longer than normal, but said nothing. Her boys retreated further into the cave to escape the rising sun, and she could not wait to see Laddie’s face in a couple hours.

Just before sunset, she was awoken. Not by anything in particular, but just the general excitement of the day ahead. She waited by the entrance of the cave for the day to end, and was pleasantly surprised when Marko was the first one to greet her as night fell.

“Good evening, Bella.” He whispered into her hair as he pulled her close in his embrace.

“Merry Christmas, Marko.” A look of realization came across his face.

“Merry Christmas. I had almost completely forgotten.” He admitted, before letting her go in favor of going into the main lobby to sit in front of the tree. Paul greeted her next, complete with his usual sloppy kisses when he did not see her or have her in his arms when they were apart for more than a minute.

“Merry Christmas babe!” Paul exclaimed loudly, and moved to go bother Marko in the lobby.

“Merry Christmas, princess.” Dwayne embraced her and pressed a soft kiss to her hair.

“Merry Christmas, Dwayne.” She leaned back and appeared her place in his arms. Just as her eyes slipped close, a hand came up to her face. Her bleach blonde vampire had finally awoken.

“Merry Christmas, David.” She wrapped one arm around her other lover while remaining in Dwayne’s arms. David slipped closer to the two in front of him.

“Laddie. Laddie, wake up little one. It’s Christmas.” The young halfling rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he sat up.

“What? what’s going on?” He was still confused this early in the evening. Everything to him was still groggy.

“Merry Christmas, Laddie.” That seemed to wake up the boy quickly because the next thing the woman knew, was his arms wrapped around her neck.

“Merry Christmas! Did Santa come?” Laddie wondered excitedly.

“Why don’t you go out there and see?” She teased, and watched the boy excitedly sprint out of the nest, to the lobby. He let out a small yell as he saw what was before him.

“Dwayne!” He ran over and hugged the man, much like he had done to his lover before.

The rest of the day was spent with presents being passed around and opened. Laddie kept getting more and more excited with every present he opened. At some point, she ended up on the couch with all four of her lovers around her as they watched Laddie play with his toys near their tree.

“I wish every Christmas could be like this.” She said wistfully, eyes somewhat glazed over as she watched Laddie. David turned to Marko who left her feet briefly and returned with his hands behind his back.

“Maybe it can.” David smiled at her as he took the object behind Marko’s back, who returned to her feet as he was previously. A bejeweled bottle sat in his grasp, and intrigued her as he took his own swig. The ornate bottle was passed around the group of vampires before it finally got back to her. She stared for a long while at it, before turning to David who never strayed his gaze from her own.

“Drink, love. Be one of us.” He whispered. The request so soft, yet so filled with hope. She knew that every Christmas would be a chance for them to revisit their childhood’s as it was also a way for Laddie to stay with his. Every Christmas from now on, was going to be that much richer.

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