#fast-check

[tramadita]

doyoung nct mb pls

𒑟⠺ ܔܢܜܔ 𒑊 ╲╱ 🥥 🌴 🚁

[pallettown]

genuinely so scary that you can't access the page on the ssc website that guides you through changing your sex designation. so so fucking scary. they are already making our lives harder. they are already taking what little resources we have.

[fuckyeahchinesefashion]

Professional dancer shows two styles for thirst trap dance（cābianwu） on douyin, the not-cā style (not-thirst thirst trap) and cā style(very thirst trap). cr 罗宾小哥 luobin xiaoge

[pausegame]

Veilguard Companions + Rook, don't.

[lunarifie]

I truly believe the reason Fabian was so weird about Cathilda being a PERSON outside of being a maid, and having other personality traits and talents outside of cooking and cleaning, is because she teased Fabian a lot when he was a kid. I like to think that she made him believe that all maids were some kind of magical race or species, and that they all looked and acted the same. (The same kinda vibe of telling the kid you’re babysitting that you’re a fairy just to make the job more interesting)

Which is why when Adaine confronts her about it in the van and apologizes on Fabians behalf, Cathilda acts so unbothered by it, completely aware that it’s entirely her own fault and decides not to tell anyone because I like to think she’s a little mischievous like that.

[pinkrangersarah]

i've known aika for barely a day and I already love her, 10 out of 10 would die for this kid.

what better way to procrastinate in my own writing than quickly doodling my own oc with @kianamaiart's very own aika, whom elena relates to on a very spiritual level.

a witch who did not ask for her dad's powers and a magical girl who did not want to be a magical girl. maybe they can hang out someday.

[awhoreintheory]

Picture Peter using slangs from his universe, and utterly befuddling people when he gets dropped in Gotham

Peter sounds insane. No one knows what a "gritty" is, or how to hit it. He has a weird obsession with caps, but he never wears a hat. No one knows what the hell "America's ass" means. Is it a dig at politics? A reference the "do the butt's match?" Meme? No one fucking knows.

Anyways that's how he gives his identity away AND Tim assumes he's from the future, the the batfamily makes contingencies around this incorrect assumption

[basofy]

buddy they are going to mass sell your dad for 2 magazines

[tennessoui]

cackling at the idea of anakin blurting out #27

very anakin fr

[from this prompt game!] [i've already done: 5. 'are you jealous?' & 46. 'hey have you seen my...?'

27. "I'm pregnant."

The minor princess currently touching Anakin's forearm has spent all night toeing the line between friendly and polite politician who feels understandably starstruck around two retired war generals on her tiny inconsequential planet and wants to ensure they enjoy the dance held in their honor and too friendly entitled princess who needs to back off, seeing as Anakin is a very happily taken man whose beloved is standing literally right next to him.

It's giving Anakin a headache, trying to discern her motive and trying to figure out a way to make it quite clear he has no interest in any sort of recreational pastime with her in any sort of unofficial capacity without causing some sort of galactic incident.

He'd promised his master and the Council: no more Galactic Incidents, at least until the next calendar year.

It doesn't help matters that Obi-Wan, who should be the most upset if this minor princess is really trying to lure Anakin into a dark corner for nefarious reasons, is doing nothing to aid him in this trying time. Even though they've made it quite clear to each other over the past six months that they're in an exclusive, loving, committed relationship that has no room whatsoever for princesses of any kind.

Maybe that's the problem, Anakin thinks morosely as the princess flags down a passing waiter and lifts two flutes of wine from his tray. Maybe Anakin's made Obi-Wan too secure in his love, and now he thinks all he has to do in these situations is stand there with his arms at his sides, smirking slightly and looking gorgeous.

"Anakin?" the princess prompts, offering the drink. Automatically, and for no reason Anakin can think of except for long forgotten instinct, he glances at Obi-Wan first, as if asking for permission from his father. As if he's not twenty-four years old, a war general, a Jedi Master, etcetera.

When Obi-Wan just inclines his head with glittering eyes and that damned smirk only partially hidden behind his own raised glass of wine, Anakin almost accepts the princess's offer. Because she's definitely offering much more than just a drink. Maybe she even dosed that drink with--with something. Something to make him more agreeable or pliable or--Anakin doesn't know. But something serious enough to wipe that smirk from the corner of Obi-Wan's stupidly kissable lips, that's for sure.

But then he looks back at the princess and categorizes instantly in his mind all the ways she is not his beloved, and he decides that despite Obi-Wan's general ability to be an ass, the last thing he wants to do is take the drink. Or, truly, remain in this conversation.

"Oh, no thank you," he tells her politely.

He remembers a second later when her eyebrows fly up her forehead and her mouth pinches into a tight, aristocratic line, that on this planet it is considered incredibly rude to reject a gift of any sort.

And he'd promised No Galactic Incidents.

"I'm pregnant," he adds. "So I cannot. Partake. Though it looks good. I mean, beautiful. I mean. I'm pregnant. Yes."

The princess's eyebrows fly higher. Beside him, Obi-Wan coughs rather violently. Due to swallowing his drink wrong or to hide a burst of laughter, Anakin doesn't know.

"Oh," the princess says. "I...was under the impression that humanoid males cannot carry offspring."

Anakin clears his throat and crosses his arms behind his back. He wonders if it'll be a more believable fiction should he place his hands over his abdomen, then he thinks about anyone seeing that ever and decides he'd rather lose his other flesh one to a lightsaber all over again.

"I'm from a desert planet in the Outer Rim, your highness," he tells her. " Tatooine, if you have heard of it. Many species there have evolved special biological traits over time to ensure survival. This is one of them. You understand, of course."

He isn't even sure the words he's saying make any sort of sense at all, and Obi-Wan has gone from being absolutely no help to being an incredible hinderance instead, standing completely silent next to him and Force signature blocked from their bond.

"Oh," the princess blinks and then blinks again. "I apologize, of course. I did not realize."

"You could not have," Anakin assures her, kindly in his opinion, and she makes herself scare only a handful of minutes later. Apparently as much as she'd appreciate bedding a war hero, she draws the line at bedding one with child.

This realization is enough to make Anakin wonder if perhaps he should pocket the excuse for the next time he's at one of these affairs and fighting for his life. After all, his lover has proven himself to be incredibly useless.

Speaking of which:

"Hope you enjoyed that," he mutters to Obi-Wan as he turns his back on the ballroom to glare more fully at his master. "Thanks so much for your support."

Obi-Wan blinks guilelessly at him, lifting his drink to take another sip. Purposeful now, probably. To show off that he can drink to soothe his nerves while Anakin won't be able to touch the stuff for the rest of the night.

"Please, have patience with me, Anakin love," Obi-Wan says. "I've just found out that I am to be a father. I'm in shock."

Anakin tightens his hold on his wrists behind his back. It's either that or shove his most beloved into the buffet table.

[ao3-shenanigans]

Greetings and good morrow to you my fair sir madame or fella, have you ever considered using mayonnaise as a substitute for milk?

[black-and-yellow]

Over my shoulder

Read more for speedpaint

I lost my patience with the hands and had to go back and fix them once I'd stopped the recording and calmed down.

[collophora]

Fics rec of the week, and especially if you like well-written Wrecker, is the entire work of @electrikworm on AO3 In order:

The Batch have a terrible day

Human Shield

A peaceful moment

(But go read the others too)

[quick-catton]

BARRY KEOGHAN FOR BUMBLE.

[montereybayaquarium]

🦈 Sharks? Jawesome. Parthenogenesis? Even more fin-tastic than it’s hard to pronounce.

Let’s talk about the birds and the bees. Er, the sharks and the seas. Some species of sharks (and fish, invertebrates, reptiles, and birds!), can reproduce asexually—no mate required. Females use extra genetic materials to fertilize eggs and grow baby sharks completely on their own. How’s that for a Shark Week fact?

[crushoncaleb]

A bathroom cabinet fell off my wall, onto my head, and concussed me. Yet all I can think about is...

How Sylus would teasingly laugh at you but also provide any necessary comfort. He would fully use this as an excuse to convince you to move in with him.

"No such thing as faulty cabinets in my bathroom, sweetie. This is the second time they've attacked us."

How Xavier is fighting a bathroom cabinet for you. He installs a new one. Securely this time, he assures you. You never do find out what happened to the old one after it fell.

"You don't need to worry about anything. Just focus on getting better. You need your rest now, come here, we'll nap."

How Caleb does not let you enter a bathroom by yourself for at least a month. He's trying to hide it, always conveniently leaving things there so he has an excuse to come in, but any subtlety is left behind completely the second you don't let him in.

"C'mon, pipsqueak, you know I hated seeing you hurt like that, I'm just trying to keep that from happening again. Please let me take care of you?"

[faunandfloraas]