#fear of failing

[khalepatekala]

THIS. THIS. THIS.

[dignityofapotato]

Entry 76

I am so behind. So terribly behind in life. I know I should stop comparing myself to others but I know no other way to go forward. I feel so much shame and guilt for not putting myself together and making more attempts to better myself. I want to. I know I need therapy but I keep pushing it aside and making the same excuses. I keep scheduling driver’s tests that I always end up canceling two days…

[itsstormingoutside]

trying to stay strong when ive failed the biggest test of my career

but not being smart enough is such a trigger when most of my life ive never been “enough”

[ruporas]

and together we set out on a journey to find treasure! (id in alt)

[nellasbookplanet]

'Enjoy it despite its flaws' is one thing, but Mass Effect somehow invented its own category: 'simultaneously one of the most flawed and the most well-crafted sci-fi stories I've ever experienced'. These games are incredible. They’re the worst. All the women are sexualized. All the women have deeply flawed and complex personalities without being either demonized or romanticized. The first available f/f ship seems to be written along the guidelines of 'what would a straight man find hot'. As the games go on, they effortlessly include multiple same sex romance options given just as much care and development as the the opposite sex ones. You can play as a xenophobic murderhobo asshole. You can play as someone genuinely caring but also harsh, who inspires growth and co-operation wherever you go but who makes hard choices when you have to. You can kill civilians and punch reporters and commit genocide. You can stop a generational war and mediate peace and save several species from extinction. The robots are stereotypically evil cannon fodder. The robots are deeply complex with a tragic history. Your team mates are assholes with xenophobic opinions or justifications for police brutality and genocide, or they just want excuses to Do Murder. You team mates are deeply flawed and can be urged to grow alongside you. The most important aliens are all humanoids. There are plant aliens and jellyfish aliens and insect aliens and elephant aliens and aliens who can’t share an atmosphere with us. You have to drive around countless identically boring planets with little to show for it. You get to discover hidden secrets and civilisations millions of years old and live through some of the most emotionally harrowing scenes in storytelling history. I am going absolutely insane about it.

[akanemnon]

What is this tension?

FIRST - PREVIOUS - NEXT

MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)

(Chara's dialoge being a different shade of red is NOT a plot thing. It's just supposed to make it easier to read)

[natjennie]

something about "your anger isn't scary to me" is making me so emotional. something about as above so below, cassandra as a mirror of kristen. something about "I've been dropping the ball a lot lately" and kristen's struggles with adhd. something about teenage girls and rage and fury and justice. something about adaine's vision of ruining fallinel and the sylvaire looking for revenge. something about sadness and doubt and anger and love. something about "I choose to understand" being the absolute core theme of d20 in general. something something.

[holyfacehead]

in this essay i will—

[mr-president]

jokes stolen from horsecomix

there is Absolutely Nothing Wrong with august :]

[inthecarpets]

Kabru is such a character

it's interesting how from i.e. Laios' perspective the story is like fun adventure mixed with drama when his sister is gone.

but from Kabru's perspective it feels like a thriller or a horror story and Laios is one of more terrifying things in it due to the simplicity of how enthusiastic he is around it.

Kabru's there, in the place that terrifies him the most, meeting a person who loves said place and everything involved with it with all his heart. And the longer he knows said person, the more he's terrified of him.

[genderkoolaid]

i understand the motive behind statements like "real men wear pink!" and what they are trying to do but consider this: reifying the idea of real vs fake manhood sucks actually. we should not perpetuate the idea of manhood as a test of honour that you can fail & that failing is bad. thats patriarchy 101 babe

[dignityofapotato]

Entry 18

It was a pretty hectic week. This week I was basically preparing myself for my future. One of the guest speakers I had talked about financial literacy. She handed out a paper about paying off student loans, talking about the salaries we could be making and how difficult it is to support yourself in this economy. During that presentation I felt so many things being thrown at me at once. I only…

[turtleblogatlast]

[ cw: nightmares / trauma / ]

Post-invasion, Mikey sneaks into Leo’s room and when asked by Leo what the problem was, Mikey just smiles and says since he’s awake and knew Leo would be too, he didn’t want either of them alone. Leo laughs and lets Mikey stick around, both of them clumped together on Leo’s bed, watching grainy compilations of old Lou Jitsu commercials on Leo’s phone.

Technically, Mikey didn’t lie. He just didn’t explain everything that led him to Leo’s room. He didn’t explain the nightmare of his arms burning up too bright, too fast, destroyed before Raph and Donnie have a chance to help. He didn’t explain how he woke up with a wail caught in his throat, phantom pain in his arms and chest alike chasing away any semblance of exhaustion. He didn’t explain how his mind made sure he knew, vividly, that if one thing went wrong with his portal, then he would have never seen Leo again.

He didn’t explain, and he didn’t have to. Leo knows his brothers better than he knows himself, and Mikey has always been easy to read. So it’s no trouble to let Mikey know that he’s still with them, that Leo is here and alive with everyone else. And when Mikey finally regains his exhaustion and falls asleep leaning against Leo, Leo simply maneuvers him into a more comfortable position and stays by his side.

He doesn’t move, doesn’t go to sleep - not that he could, anyway. He just mindlessly scrolls on his phone, the soft snores of his little brother filling the room. He stays in place, awake, because he wants to be sure that when Mikey wakes up again it’s to the immediate sight that Leo is alive and well and home.

And, if Leo’s bring honest, that’s a reminder not just for Mikey’s sake.

[serialunaliver]

if you're worried you're a covert narcissist then you aren't, hope this helps

[deep-dark-fears]

Show more effort. An anonymous fear submitted to Deep Dark Fears - thanks!

You can find original artwork in my shop!

[essektheylyss]

Contact Other Plane really is such a perfect wizard and warlock spell, because it truly encapsulates the hubris of those classes. It's the most extreme "fuck around and find out" spell. It's like, you can make a collect call out of this world. You might get some answers, but you also might go insane for trying it. You'll be fine in the morning, though. You will learn nothing from this experience.