#feed the beast tour

[snakewavves]

Woo- Ah! 😌 💜 ♥️ ❤️

[liyazaki]

I couldn’t impulse buy shoes at 12:30AM like a normal person; oh no. I had to buy a Kim Petras concert ticket- happening tomorrow. OK, today.

[candystriper]

💖 sailor scout kim 💖

feed the best tour, oct 12 2023, washington dc

[koppaiterocker]

Wharever

[thepermanentrainpress]

Gallery: Kim Petras @ Coca-Cola Coliseum - Toronto, ON Date: October 16, 2023 Photographed by: Chris Ho

[yumenosakiacademy]

losing ny mind at these slutty warrior outfits on kim's background dancers in this performance (also the moves in this.. her getting on top of the 2nd guy 2 grip him then throw him down... yell hea)

[thisiswherethingsgo]

Kim Petras - Feed the Beast

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Costume Meta 7x04

How we all doing?? have we managed to find some semblance of equilibrium in this new world where we have canon bi buck?? I’m not sure I’ll ever know how to exist in this world but that’s fine with me! I’m still here writing my silly costume metas and having a blast in this bright new world!

No Hen this week as we never see her out of uniform!

The rest is below the cut because you would all hate me if i clogged your feeds with this beast (shes 7k)- you have been warned!!

Actually going to start this week with a uniform out of work section!

Because three times in this episode, we had one of the firefam wearing an element of their uniform out of work and its actually pretty key!

We have Bobby in his LAFD polo when he informs Athena that Harry is wanted for assault and he fled the state.

Then we have Chim at the basketball game in his LAFD hoodie

And finally Buck at the airfield on his tour with Tommy.

All three are playing into the idea of protecting ones self by being in an official capacity in some way. Firefighters (like all first responders) are of course there to 'protect and serve' the community.

Bobby delivers the news to Athena about Harry - he's in uniform because he can inhabit a small aspect of his captain mentality - makes it easier to deliver the news and also gives him the distance to play the 'don't shoot the messenger' card if necessary.

Chimney has to step into paramedic mode at the end of the scene. The LAFD hoodie separates him from everyone else at the court and foreshadows that he will have to 'go to work' its also about chimney being there as the colleague not the almost brother in-law of Buck. An important distinction - it protects Chim from being seen to favour anyone (specifically from Buck. (Buck is angry and not being rational so Chimney has protection from Bucks potential anger for helping Eddie - Buck is already feeling awful by that point so the protection isn't needed but it provides cover if it were) and allows him to go into first responder mode. (this is so badly worded but I'm sure you get what I mean!!)

Buck is at the airfield under the guise of wanting to find out more about becoming an air support firefighter - its the cover under which he is operating to try and befriend Tommy. The jacket also provides him protection from Eddie when he shows up and finds out Buck is not coming to Vegas with him and Tommy.

Bobby

Just the one costume for Bobby this week - a maroon tee that her's wearing to sleep in. we see him in this colour a lot - its a bit of a staple colour for him and I've spoken a lot about maroon tees and shirts representing parental roles in relation to the various children of the 118. Its no different here -we can see from Bobbys face he isn't buying what Harry is saying and the parental concern we see evidenced here plays out with him calling Michael and finding out what is really going on.

Athena

Athena wears a lot of black this week, which is fairly typical from her, although we are in a much more overall muted palette than usual and its missing the jewel tones we're used to seeing her increasingly wear. its a bit of a signal of returning to normality now they're back from the cruise disaster.

She starts off in black and pink pyjamas but I'm going to talk about those at the end in the pink section so we're skipping ahead to this ruffle smocked cream blouse and her gorgons head necklace is back. the ruffling is an nod to her feathers being ruffled when Bobby tells her about Harry and his arrest warrant, and the white with the black trousers is about things being black and white - for Athena as a cop things do tend to be black and white when it comes to the law - of course Athena has always been one to work within the law to bend the rules but in this moment things are black and white.

Then we have her all in black with a red longline cardigan which has a open weave that give the appearance of mesh or a cage. The show has been using Red since day one which makes sense as it is a first responder show and you literally cannot escape it when the fire trucks are red! But they have always been pretty careful about when they use bright red in the costuming meaning its appearance with such regularity this season so far is pretty telling. Its an advance warning of incoming danger/trouble/strife, but it is rarely worn by the one who is directly in danger - they will be involved, but not the centre of it. The best example of this is Bucks bright red broadcloth shirt when Christopher calls him because Eddie is smashing up his bedroom.

Here we have it on Athena in the scene when things are about to properly kick into action with Harrys story. Athena is literally a red net about to ensnare Harry. its the one time in this episode we see Athena in a bold bright colour - something that generally is attached to her being happy or having fun, but not here.

The denim sleeveless shirt/jacket when Athena goes to the hospital to visit the lady who shot her son (does she have a name - I cant remember!) and later to talk to Harry about the reality of his altercation, is quite bulky and blocky. It's far less fitted, structured or flowy that we are used to seeing on Athena. To me this is about playing into her struggles to tread the line between mother and cop - that neither role fits right. That denim is also a fabric associated with labour, it suggests Athena is working hard to figure it out.

Then we get this all black outfit when she takes Harry to the station - it is such a simple yet effective bit of costuming, especially with the silver zips and buckles- it blends her in with the police officers in the station so she can hover the line between mom and cop - and makes it look like an arresting officer bringing in a suspect.

Harry

New Harry comes with a new style!!

I actually can't wait to see how they dress him over the rest of the season because there was a definite colour theme at play here this week with all the beiges, greens and redish browns which is very not how younger Harry dressed (he was much more bright colours).

Not going to lie - my hatred for the copaganda and the fact I've been in Bi Buck land since the episode aired has made it hard to focus on Harrys outfits in greater detail, but I do have a few thoughts!

This first shirt is a map print, maps denote journey's andHarry is on a literal and metophorical journey - the literal being the one he made form Florida to LA. The metaphorical one is all about his journey to become a man, and learning to take responsibility for his actions, so this shirt is essentially setting out his arc for the season - Makes me feel like the storylines with harry we're going to see are going to be about the community service he has to undertake and him figuring things out and growing up a bit in relation to that.

Then next up we have this cream hoodie with an brownish beige pocket. the thing I found interesting about this choice was the fact that Harry played himself off as innocent. lawyers usually instruct their clients to wear white shirts to court, and to avoid loud patterns. The white is because i suggests purity or innocence, and the loud patterns should be avoided because it suggests you're trying to employ subterfuge (that you're lying). So Harry wearing a block of cream is a play on this idea. We see him in the map shirt before - when he is employing subterfuge about his reasons for visiting, and now this cream is him trying to suggest his innocence to his mother - the use of cream rather than white is telling us that he isn't as innocent as he is making out!

Finally we have check theory (my most beloved) in play. harry returns to wearing patterns - this one check and in greens and browns. there is an element of military to the green shades, its a coloour we've seen used on Eddie to show his military background, but it is also a colour frequently worn by Athena - usually when she is fighting for her family in some way. Here it feels like a refelction of that, with the added aspect of green being a colour of growth. Harry shows contrition and is willing to take his punishement, showing his growth, but also showing his understanding of fighting for his family - and Athenas willingness to do the same. its showing us tht he is his mothers son. And of course the check is the pointer towards the fact he is in trouble - that his earlier protestations of innocence were false!

Then we move on the he Buckley-Hans

Chimney

Only the one for Chimney this week, it's a very short scene where he is completely oblivious to the tone of the conversation. He's dressed completely in greys and is by all accounts neutrally costumed. this is intentional - he's not the focus of this scene and when we think that so much of this episode is shown from Bucks pov, the use of neutral grey makes sense - Buck is projecting on to chimney in this scene. Buck himself is speaking his jealousy and fear, while what Chimney says is actually the little voice inside his head that isn't in fact jealous of Tommy, but is impressed by him

Maddie

Again only two costumes for Maddie this week and one of them is her dispatch outfit, but I'm including it because of its place with a mini colour theme for this episode, which both of her outfits play into.

I spoke about the use of red in Athenas section and its representing danger, and it is in play for both of Maddie's outfits, the wearer changes though. In the first scene, Maddie is in blue - dark blue. a tee with 'The Great School' and bobcat logo on the front. I love this, the bobcat is a symbol of inner strength and resilience in the face of adversity, while Maddie is a great source of learning for Buck - he essentially raised him and has been a sounding board for him since she returned to his life. Maddie is the next level wise older sister, her point of view is important to Buck and is grounding for him. She had got him to back down from his spiral over Eddie and Chris, until Chimney came in (and like I said above, that was Bucks inner voice, not really Chimney)

Then we have her dispatch uniform and its red. This is a clever play actually, it allows the costume team to put Maddie into red, a colour we don't really see on her outside of work (a deliberate choice as it helps distinguish work from non work to the audience). Just like Buck was the angry one in the other Buckley siblings scene, her Maddie is the one who is angry (with good reason) and we again get Buck recieving education at he hands of Maddie - in her place of work where she is a lifeline to people and where she holds authority. Buck needed her in a lifeline capacity in this moment and he got it, despite her anger. She gave him the advice and help he needed.

Eddie

Eddie my man looking suave and confident - this Eddie is Bucks version of Eddie so of course he looks cool, well dressed and in a green and black combo. In nearly every scene where Eddie nad Buck have a deep meaningful conversation - one that gets through to Buck on a higher level - that works on Bucks abandonment complex, Eddie is dressed in a black shirt and khaki green trousers (the only exception is the will reveal when he's in navy blue but that is to play in the yellow blue colour theming and its a close to black as they could have a blue!), this outfit is an inverse though, which is actually really clever. Eddie (Bucks version) here is playing into Bucks fear of abandonment - Bucks version of Eddie has spent so long building him up and chipping away at that fear that to invert that colour theme and have green on top and black trousers is a fun way of inverting that chipping away at Bucks fear - this is putting another brick in that abandonment wall

The black tank top!! Its back and everybody cheered! Ok so I wrote this meta about when the show puts Eddie into a black tank top and how it means he's in an emotionally vulnerable place and once more, the theory plays out. Obviously Eddie gets physically injured, but his face when he looks at Buck after he's gone down shows him emotionally vulnerable. Yes there is a little bit of anger and a lot of pain in the look he gives him, but there is also understanding and a little guilt too.

It's the moment Eddie realises that he has unintentionally sidelined his best friend, and the effect that has had on Buck and his abandonment issues. This is Eddie showing his truly deep understanding of Buck and how Buck ticks (and because this is also from Bucks pov, its also showing us Buck understanding that Eddie understands how Buck ticks) we get all of this proven when Tommy comes over to Bucks later and clearly states that Eddie is feeling bad about the whole situation.

It is also worth noting that When Buck has seen Eddie at the gym or being sporty in some way Eddie has either been in uniform or in a black singlet and that he always looks super competent (even if he is working through things when he is in the black singlet). From my perspective, this is an interesting choice to play into because it suggests Buck recognises Eddies emotional maturity over him, even when he's not in a great place (we can discount fight club Eddie becasue Buck didn't actually see him there), its clearly something Buck admires and places as central to how he sees Eddie.

Tommy

Tommys costuming is chefs kiss perfection to me. The wardrobe department have literally dressed him as Eddie and I am living for it.

Its a way to emphasise that Tommy and Eddie are super similar. this serves two purposes - it builds a visual connection for the audience - we don't need to be shown Tommy in the army or fighting/ training in Muay Thai etc, we can mentally make a connection to the ones we've seen of Eddies in the past and accept the information as fact. obviously not all people who join the army or undertake MMA are going to dress the same, but this is television where visual information is valuable real estate, so playing into tropes and stereotypes is a key piece of arsenal.

The other thing about it is the specific Eddies its calling back to - fight club Eddie and to a lesser extent, post breakdown Eddie when he's back in therapy and unrepressing himself.

Tommys basketball outfit is really about making him stand out from everyone else - it makes him seem to appear more because the blue shorts and the light coloured top will catch your eye, even if he's not the focus of the camera at that moment. This is all about the fact that this is Bucks perspective on things - he is seeing Tommy everywhere and feeling like he's taking over/ taking away Eddie and so we the audience feel that same thing in a visual way. The thing the blue shorts do is visually connect Tommy to buck in the next scene we see Buck in - when he is talking to Maddie at dispatch - the blues are similar enough for us to subconsciously connect back to that scene and link Buck and Tommy together rather than Buck to Eddie - who Buck is dressed more similarly too in the basketball scene.

It doesn't hurt that the blue shorts also play into yellow blue theory - especially against the sunsets yellow hues in a scene that is playing homage to a famously queer coded scene from Top gun.

Then there is this outfit from Bucks loft. again is very similar to an Eddie outfit - its the same style of shirt we often see Eddie wearing especially in seasons 4 and 5.

Tommys jeans have always been reminiscent of Eddies Jeans (I mean I know they are jeans, but I promise the significance will become clear when I get to Buck!)

Even Tommys watch is similar to Eddies Christopher watch (every other watch in the show worn by the men is all black - black strap black face and mount only the Christopher watch is different) in that it has a different coloured strap to the watch face and its mount.

The other thing I want to mention quick, is the progression of Tommys costumes in relation to them being similar to Eddies. By this I mean the first non uniform costume we see Tommy in is very stage 2 Eddie, while the one below is very much more stage 3 Eddie.

I also really like the use of a purple/red/black shot tee for this scene as well. If you watch the scene through, the way its lit changes its colour as different sections of the scene unfold. The red tones are there early on, during the apology and conversation around Eddie being allowed to have more than one friend and Christophers adoration of Buck. it gives it that air of danger lurking, because Tommy isn't sure how things are going to play out. and plays into the red/blue theme we saw with Buck and Maddie in this episode - just on a much lower level.

Then it turns this purplish shade as we move into the initial stages of flirting - from the moment Buck moves around the counter to put himself in the same space as Tommy. It gives things an air of mystery, but purple can also be a colour of enlightenment - both elements are in play here and I love they were able to do this with this shirt.

The shirt turns black at the moment Tommy says 'my attention' - the moment he essentially hold all the cards on making a move - he is the one with the power here (as the already queer person in the room) and black is a power colour, so its the perfect choice for the moment he makes his move.

Buck

Buck my beloved bi disaster. His costumes were doing some pretty impressive storytelling this episode!

We start off at the air field - I spoke at the start about this LAFD jacket and the theme of protection, but I also have other things to say about it and the rest of the costume. We don't generally see Buck out of work wearing uniform (we actually don't see many of the firefam in uniform out of work tbh) so when we do its going to have meaning. T

he thing with the bomber jacket being the choice (they could've made it a hoodie which we've seen him wear out of work more!) is that on one level plays into its name and the fact that its being worn at an airfield, while on another level it low key plays into the Buck cheating arc. which is actually fun - the idea that he's 'cheating' on the 118 by claiming he's thinking about his career options and also cheating on Eddie by trying to befriend Tommy (because at this point that is all it is its only once Eddie appears that things change).

The trousers are also important. I know I've said before about how trousers are less important than tops because they are less likely to get screen time. We not here - here they are really important, but only with the context of the rest of the episode.

These are the short in the leg dark trousers we've come to know and love on Buck - he's been solidly wearing them since season 2 and what we have seen him wearing so far in season 7 so no surprises to see them here. But this is the last time we see them and its super important and telling.

We also have Bucks white trainers - the ones that he wears when he moves forward on his journey - we see him in them the entire time this episode.

Buck and Maddie this episode have a red v blue thing going on in their scenes together. In this one Buck is in red and Maddie in blue. I spoke about the red for danger theme they seem to be using this season for the red clothes above in Athenas section and it applies here - Buck in red is foreshadowing the danger/strife that the basketball game presents as that is what he is talking about and what he is most upset about over Tommy and Eddies friendship.

It's a slightly burnt out red in comparison to Bobbys red shirt from the cruise, Athenas red cardigan, or even the red he wore when Eddie had his breakdown. Its not a full high alert colour, its a more muted and restrained colour - suggesting the danger is going to be less of a big thing, that it's just a part of it rather than the main big thing

We can also see that Buck is now wearing more traditional stonewash jeans - this is the first time we're seeing them on him since Eddies arrival at the fire house. I'll explain them in more detail in Bucks last outfit of the episode, but I needed to point their presence out here.

Basketball Buck in his white shirt and dark blue marl cut off tee - its very Buck posturing at the firehouse gym and its meant to be. Its a direct reference to the last time Buck showed any jealousy towards Eddie. The shorts are different this time in that they're white/light grey rather than black, but I think this is done for two reasons - it creates a pairing with Eddie - they are dressed similarly with dark tops and lighter grey shorts, but on opposite teams/sides.

It also makes him stand out from everyone else at the game - excepting Tommy (and a random guy in a red top with white shorts that I'm living for. When Red = foreshadowing as I've talked about above, this guys actions on the court are precursors of what is about to happen - we see him bump into Tommy - a couple of moments later and Buck does the same thing, then just before Eddie gets taken out by Buck, he gets breezed past by Eddie stumbles and starts limping. Its fun and clever and not something many people will pick up on - its a bit like the role of the bullet in Hamilton!)

Bucks bright blue chunky corduroy shirt with white tee underneath. I already spoke about the visual connection between Tommy from the basketball game and this shirt. It also fits into the red and blue theme I spoke about above - this time Buck is the one in blue and with the combination of Buck in his danger incoming white shirt and Maddie being in red it signals exactly what this scene is going to be about.

The danger, in my opinion, is Maddies wrath at Buck getting physical with Eddie. Its a perfectly valid and important response from her and plays into the growth we get from Buck in this episode that is not connected to his bi awakening - the recognition and acceptance of his bad behaviour in a far more mature way than we saw from s3 Buck.

The chunky corduroy give the shirt vertical stripes and we all know how I feel about Buck and vertical stripes at this point - I wrote about them a lot in my seasons 5 and 6 metas and the blue and white nature of bucks outfit plays into the theming that was at play in early season 6 - where Buck was free from Taylor and resisting buying a couch because he was looking for the right couch etc. (and playing house husband to Eddie nad feeding them!!!)

Here in this episode we kind of have Buck going through a similar process - free from the shackles of death and trying to figure things out - who he is and what he wants, he's still on that hamster wheel in many ways at this point in the episode but he is about to jump off it.

This is the key to happiness and Lev's advice and the year of yes scene 2.0 - the same shade of blue are at play here. Lev figuring it out ('I get it now') just as he's dying and Buck then trying to figure out what Lev had figured out and essentially failing before he died only to now get it and free himself is a blue thread we've been following through season 6 up to bucks death, then the use of this shade of blue in Bucks costumes tailed off - we saw it reappear a couple of times after the lightening strike - specifically around Natalia and his continues flirtation with death - almost like his hovering around death was him trying to grasp what Lev had figured out.

Then the blue had been gone again only for it to reappear here in this episode in a scene that precedes Bucks bi awakening and his comments about being free and 'yeah that works' with their double meanings that play in the same way as lev's 'I think i get it now' just without death coming immediately after. It's a scene when he starts to get an inkling on what his jealousy is actually about. (The fact we know he's going to be back in this bright blue in the next episode in a scene with Eddie - that is very likely a coming out scene also plays into this idea.)

And the stone wash jeans are once more there for all to see!

Then we get this dark navy blue shirt with silvery white dots and yet again those stone wash jeans.

Ok lets talk about the jeans! The fact that we haven't seen Buck wearing stone wash jeans, which if you watch the opening couple of seconds of the dispatch scene, you will see are proper normal length on him and not ankle swingers like we've got used to seeing him in for the last few seasons!

The thing with him suddenly wearing these stonewash jeans is all about imitation - imitation of Tommy (and by extension, imitation of Eddie even though we don't see Eddie in stonewash denim in this episode) because you know that old adage of dressing like the person you want to be , or the idea that you subconsciously start dressing like the person you have a crush one?? Well yeah - Buck has all these new feelings that he doesn't know what to do with, but Tommy is cool and Tommy dresses like Eddie and Eddie seems to like Tommy better than Buck now so maybe if Buck starts dressing a bit like Tommy he'lI get Eddies attention back. So he's pulled out the stone wash jeans so that he's dressed a bit more like Tommy, but he's also dressing a bit like his crush that he doesn't yet realise is a crush.

The other small thing that I think is a nice nod - So Like I said earlier, the last time we see the jeans is in 2x01 - Eddies introduction to the firehouse. This is the moment (on screen at least for us as viewers) that Buck ceases to be the probie - that baton is passed to Eddie, so its almost like a symbol of him graduating and maturing in some way. then we get the jeans back for Bucks bi awakening - we see them the entire time he's navigating all these new feelings he has - he's never been with a man, so he's like a probie again.

The thing is, that the jeans appear to be gone for his date with Tommy (makes sense - he's on a date so he's got to look good for his man!) , and from what I can tell from the (super dark even when brightened) stills from the Buck Eddie loft scene, it would appear they are gone for that scene too. We've had bts of Oliver in the jeans again, so I don't think they're gone completely, but that makes sense, he's still a baby queer after all, still navigating his way through things.

On to the shirt! I wrote a whole meta about this shirt (and the jeans actually!) when we first got this still - you can read it here and I'm still a little awestruck at how close to the mark I got!

What I want to add to what I said, now I have context is that the two previous times we've seen blue shirts with dots are played upon in this scene - the lawsuit is the obvious one and the parallel is showing Bucks growth - he got jealous and worried about being replaced and ended up lashing out and suing everyone, now he got jealous and thought he was being replaced, but as soon as he lashes out, he realises he is in the wrong and verbally acknowledges it.

The diner with Maddie scene is a bit more tricky to parse out, but for me, it ties to Doug - Maddie is quick to call Buck out when he confesses to Eddies injury not being an accident, because of her experiences at the hands of Doug. In the diner scene she is determined to go back to her apartment and her life in the aftermath of killing him - she wants life to go back to normal. In the loft scene Buck is trying to achieve that end too - he's in a new world where Tommy exists as part of his life now (as Eddies friend initially) and he wants to clear the air and move forward - so he's still a part of Eddies life.

I also want to talk about the contrast between this scene and the one where Taylor turns up at his door after the shooting and the difference between being chased and doing the chasing. Its spots v stripes!

Buck is in a similar shirt - short sleeved button up in a dark shade (black) - this one with vertical stripes for the Taylor scene and he thinks he's being chased for the first (ish) time (Abby sort of chased him but he is the one who pushed for it to be a relationship when I think she just wanted a bit of fun and a hook up! so I'm not sure if it actually counts or not). Thing is Taylor only chases him after they've already kissed and when he's then made it clear thats what needs to happen. (as an aside - Natalia does pursue Buck - not romantically, but because he has died - and she is the one wearing vertical stripes

While in this scene he doesn't have to say anything, yes he flirts, but he isn't explicit about what hewants - Tommy is the one who makes the decision to go for it, and so when he genuinely gets pursued, he is wearing dots

Chased verse's doing the chasing - dots v stripes

Then we have the Pink.

Pink is back in full force in 7x04 with it popping up regularly throughout the episode.

I didn't include Athenas pink dressing gown or Bucks pink shorts in their sections because I actually wanted to talk about them here. The context the scenes they were in gave me the information I needed to figure out what I think the purpose of all the pink we've been seeing is.

Lets start with a quick recap of all the pink from the 3 previous episodes then we'll look at the pink from this episode as well as the fact I've already spotted some for 7x05 from the trailer

7x01

Athena's pale pink top in therapy with Frank

Sue at dispatch in a pink cardigan

Christophers pencil is pink when he's sat at his desk - when he reads the letter from Shannon

Marisol in her bright pink strappy top

Lola's Manzanillo outfit is bright pink and white

Norman has pink flowers on his Hawaiian shirt and he later wears a bright pink polo shirt when he's pretending Lola is still with him.

7x02

the woman who is teaching her daughter to drive

the pink roses on Hen's jacket (which I know I said play into the theme of family bonds etc but the pink has a second meaning)

7x03

The cruise ship family nearly all wear pink at various points (grandma and mom are the exceptions)

and now 7x04

We have Ashley C in hot pink at the Bachelor mansion

Athena in her dusty pink ddressing gown (and pyjama pants

The woman who shot her son is in pink

And then there are Bucks pink shorts!

All of these scenes with the pink are scenes about either naivety and or innocence

The pink on Athena is about her being naive about her relationship with Bobby - not recognising that she is nothing to fear about them spending time together.

Sues pink cardigan. Sue's line is about the civilians at risk from the fighter jet - she is representing their innocence

Christophers pink pencil - in that scene his behaviour might be naive (he's a child so of course it is) but it comes from a place of complicated feelings as he does begin to mature - he was the innocent party in the loss of Shannon and he is the one left to suffer.

Lola is naive on the ship about having an affair and thinking she could get away with it and that it wouldn't hurt Norman. She’s also innocent in the plot regarding the bitcoin (or whatever it was)

Norman is also both naive and innocent - not recognising the fact his wife is cheating, for selling up their entire life and he is innocent in the bitcoin plot.

The mother and daughter were innocent in the car crash.

the pink flowers on Hens jacket hint at her being innocent of any wrong doing (from a departmental perspective) at the car accident.

The cruise family are innocent - just in the wrong place at rhetorical wrong time and they are a representation of all the innocent people on the boat who end up in danger on that ship.

I think the Marisol top is an interesting one - it plays into Chris being naïve thinking he can date multiple girls without them finding out. But I also think it’s foreshadowing her naivety in general - I think we might either see her immaturity in some way (perhaps on a date with Eddie) which will prove terminal for her relationship with Eddie. Now we know about this date scene coming up this is possible but it could also end up being about the fact that she is likely going to be an innocent party caught in the crossfire of Eddie unrepressing himself (much in the same way Ana was back in s4/5.

Ashely C's pink dress is a representation of the innocence of trying to find love.

Athena's pink dressing gown is about her innocently and blindly/ naively being excited about Harrys return home to her.

The lady who shot her son is innocent in that her actions were brought about by something out of her control and so she can't truly be held responsible for them.

Then Bucks pink shorts are about his queer innocence and naivety about his feelings the fact that we see them in a scene where Tommy isn’t present, a scene that is meant to inform the audience that his behaviours is all about Eddie and not Tommy - that he’s naively not grasping that part of this internal confusion that he's experiencing.

To add to all of this, we have Marisol carrying a pink bag in the teaser for next week, to me if pink theory is correct then this is playing into the idea that Marisol is naively dating Eddie and that she's going to be an innocent caught up in whatever goes down in that scene (part of this arc) the use of lighter pink here specifically on a handbag is giving me babyish vibes as well (its screaming little girl playing at dress up!). As a quick aside - I am very amused that shes been dressed in a basic black top - she looks like wait staff!

And of course there is Eddies pink ensemble that is connected to either Chims bachelor party or the Madney Wedding. I have no idea what is going to happen in this scene(s) but whatever does go down - place your bets on Eddie being innocent (and or naive!) in whatever goes on - itll be fun to see if I'm right! 🤓

Right 7k later and that is me done for this meta!!! I am handing out the tea, coffee, cake and biscuits (all dietary requirements catered for!)🫖☕️🧁🍩🍪- you've earnt them if you've made it to the end of this monster! Hope you enjoyed reading. i'm off to revel in Bi Buck some more - I can't believe its happened I'm overcome!!! 🩷💜💙

Tagged peeps as always are below!

@theladyyavilee @mistmarauder @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @bewilderedbuckley @spotsandsocks @bewitchedbewilderedbisexual @rogerzsteven @wanderingwomanwondering @oneawkwardcookie @leothill @copyninjabuckley @shammers86 @crazyfangirlallert @missmagooglie @katyobsesses @radiation-run @gayandbifiremenofmine @bi-moonlight @crazyaboutotps @princesschez75 @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @sherlocking-out-loud @tommykinarddd @satashiiwrites @lover-of-mine

(if the tags don't work its because people have changed their url (very valid of you!) and I didn't know, so let me know if you want tagging in future in the comments so I can catch the new urls!

[written-beyond-the-grave]

Taking the Mikaelsons to a Concert

IK a bitch was gone, but a bitch is back… sparingly. I been on tumblr doing my shit but ummm I started this shit while in highschool like sophomore year… It’s been a year since I graduated college…. Anyway, fuck it we ball bc someone needs ot get this shit wet first with the Mikaelson’s… shout out to @starlightandfairies @wholoveseggs @klausysworld for holding it down. I love everyones work, y'all be feeding the fandom

If it’s snowin’ I ain’t going… leggo (once again, I write this for niggas. Mwah, to freedom)

So primarily I feel like the Mikaelsons would all be down to going to a concert, I mean Nicki, Doja, Lil Nas X, Mariah the Scientist, Chloe Bailey, Drake, Jhene Aiko, Victoria Monet, the Weekend, Kendrick Lamar, Travis Scott--- you get the point. You are the object of their desires and affections so they’ll go…. But what will ensue???

KLAUS

For nosey bitches in the back I got y’all…. This is Klaus finally biting the bullet and taking you to a Nicki concert, the Pink Friday 2 tour!

First, it would take hella time to even get him to go, this man is busy running lives, making hybrids, acting like he a real active party in whatever council shit he bullied his way into in New Orleans, and like running Rebekah’s love life…. He be busy 

He probably feels like he should take you out for something, so he asks you what you want. Anything your heart wants he’ll give it no problem: private helicopter tour of NYC, a week in Brazil, couples massage, hell even go see puffins up in Iceland. But you know what your bitch ass asks for?

To see Onika Tanya Maraj…. As you should

This man is staring at you like “Love… who is that?” And you look at him and tell him “Nicki Minaj, Nicki Lewinski, Nicki the Ninja, Nicki the Boss, Nicki The Harajuku Barbie…. Have you not learned????” And he just stares at you in amusement like ‘it’s no Mozart, you modern women have such…. Vulgar tastes… but I will endorse this, for you my love”

Wait till he gets there AHAHAHAAAAA

You’re pulled up in all your glory, pink everything, sunnies on, gloss on, heels as big as his dick… And you know I don’t think Klaus would ever let you put him in pink spandex. But I think he’ll allow like a shirt of Nicki’s face on him, and like maybe a barbie chain on his neck… He’s a hybrid, he can’t be seen out like this (you def sent photos to the rest of the family of this). 

I feel like Klaus would be chill af with the crowds and shit, until bitches start getting rowdy when Roman comes on stage. I feel like he’ll just be vibing, but mostly looking at you as you lose your shit 

“A 100 MUTHAFUCKA CAN’T TELL ME NOTHING, I BEEZ IN THE TRAP”... bby chill, you’ll sweat that wig off and it’ll slip back. But deadass, it’s like another beast when she comes out and it activates something in you. Like the regular old human that Klaus knew of is gone, and is replaces by a bad bitch that would definitely put her shoe on his neck and he likes that

Funny enough, there is one song that Klaus would know all the words to… Moment for Life-- HEAR MY OUT, DAMN. Ok, the song is about literally getting everything you want and being at a point where no one can touch you or even fathom to be at your height of success or clout. Klaus Mikaelson gets whatever he wants, no one touches him-- or if they do, they won’t live long enough to tell the tale. King shit, so imagine your surprise when you hear this man over everyone else singing along and being into it

Yeah, did that shit. “What I tell 'em hoes? Bow, bow, bow to me, drop down to ya knees” Drake type man…. And towards the end just reminisce of all the people, woman, children, and villages he pillaged to get where he is now… mentally deranged, having a god complex and inferiority complex at the same damn time, and daddy issues while treating his siblings like his own dad LMFAOOOO

Good luck Klaus whores

And then when she starts bringing in old shit like the songs with Sean Kingston or Gyptian…. Oh boy, I know that man is catching a whine as you yell at him “YOU’RE SO PRETTY AND YOU’RE NICE YUH DUN KNO SEH NICKI AS YO WIFE” Ik you bitches telling Klaus exactly that and putting emphasis on wife bc where tf this Icelandic viking silverback think he going????

But as the show goes on, it’s a cute experience between you two as you guys kinda switch roles and you get to be super unhinged and rock out with the other people there and go bar for bar. Like you couldn’t fuck Michael Kors if you was FUCKIN’ Michael Kors

dabs sweat off my forehead

He’s happy to take you home and baby you when you come from the energy drop, but he will be wondering were that energy comes from bc you ain’t putting all that work in when he fucks you soooooo

REBEKAH

Ok so for this one…. Give me a Lil Nas X, Doja Cat, and Rico Nasty ass collab in a concert (bc that’s my dream lineup and y’all can take all my money). I feel like Rebekah needs the girl power and the gays for this so let me cook

I deadass feel you wouldn’t need to convince her of shit, she’d be the one to ask if you wanted to go because she’s heard some of their songs via you jamming in the bathroom and just booked tickets as soon as you said yes. Hey, it’s to make you happy and you deserved to be pampered-- and she’s trying to get in her modern experiences since she was in a box for a long ass time

1st song is Montero, it has to be she definitely wants to fucked out from the jet lag and becoming part of the mile high club-- it’s her thing. Plus she loves the glitter and probably being two glitter gay/bi/whatever floats your boat people that are dressed in matching outfits, but different color combos. Titties are out, and y’all are sprayed down in glitter

Then after that I feel like it would be Rico Nasty coming in hot with “SLAP A BITCH” and I know you and Rebekah felt this song on a spiritual level, so it’s both you screaming in each others faces while she has her arms wrapped around you bc she loves love.

Then it pops off with “STFU” bc a lot fo y’all hoes needs to take a seat and shut the fuck up when big bitches are in the room… anyways, personal issues. A lot of y’all do not need a mic and are not the big titty bitches y’all make yourself out to be… and take the mics away from podcast men, please. I BEG

But anyways, it’s really a whole anthem to all the rock/rap alt girlies out here. Rebekah isn’t used to the music, but she can get buck wild to it, especially when it comes down to Doja and RIco when they interchange with “Swamp Bitches”.... That’s my shit ngl

Nah bc opening a verse with “I WISH DEATH ON ALL YOU BITCHES” was insane… love you Rico <3 That song makes you wanna fight ever bitch in the state that ever did you wrong, every bitch working at goodwill that couldn’t take your brothers army discount bc you wasn’t personally in the army, the wack ass bitch at the post office that didn’t want to work there that day, and that grandma down the block that keep eyeing you and telling you that you ain’t hot shit… she wasn’t even hot shit when Project C hit the neighborhood and niggas were getting sprayed with hoses

Anyways

I truly feel like she’d appreciate the girl time with you, and just to be, and have her shit out and have fun. It’s what she deserves

KOL

THERE IS NO HEAR ME OUT YOU WILL LISTEN: NF

I know I been on the black artists wave, but for the niggas that really be feeling shit NF just knows and I feel like with Kols past of always being the forgotten sibling, not being i the pack of “always and forever”, dying all the fucking time, and getting treated like shit by everyone else unless they need to minute magical thing that’s super important he’s left in the dark

He is the most self-aware sibling out of everyone out this fuck ass family. And I feel for him honestly, being the black sheep, being the outcast. Being able to use your magic when you were a witch and then all of a sudden you can’t do that shit anymore because you’re dumb ass mom wants to make y’all fucking vampires and freaks of nature and then wants to kill you, like it was your fault in the first place? Shit was really whack.

Like he calls his family and siblings out for having a para social relationship that is super into emotional and measurements, and having no boundaries whatsoever, killing other peoples lovers, putting them in coffins just so Klaus doesn’t feel like he’s losing his siblings because he can always take them whenever he goes. But they’re still in a box, they’re not living life they’re not being happy. And that just shows how much class is really his daddy‘s son, even though his dad really isn’t his dad because his mom cheated on, her husband with a werewolf. And Kol clocks all of that.

So I feel that he would really vibe with NF, I really do. Therapy session, intro, hope, all of those songs the whole album really would have him crying in your arms at sometime around midnight when he just came over to listen to some tunes and have a good time, and I feel like you introduce NF to him. He gets hugged, and he knows that NF is speaking about his life someway somehow and it just really hits him and he just cries in your arms for that time

I don’t care how corny you think this man is, this is real music and he writes about things that are real, and that happens to him. The song mansion is legitimately about Kol’s life with being being abandoned and abused by his own family, and his own father, as class was taking most of the beatings, he still had to watch all of that. But being the middle child that he was, he just was overlooked, and that probably speaks as to why he acted out and didn’t get any of attention that he deserves.

And I feel that as Kol gets into a relationship relationship with you, you being his black queen, because I know that man was up in Hady for some reason helping him with the revolution. He just doesn’t give a fuck does what he wants to do so it makes sense why he would be with the black woman because it’s just everything, they are on earthly, they are Wisdom and magic and chest seal combined into a specific human type. And I love this for them, I love this for me.

But anyways, back to the subject at hand. I feel like you, dear reader, would surprise Kol with NF tickets because he’s been wanting to go for a long time, and you guys went dress up any fancy just probably black, cute little combat, boots and things like that. And then just head to the show. But as soon as the show starts, he probably starts off with one of his hard hitters. I’m imagining either therapy session, or mansion to really get the tears going. And it’s really just the two of you standing side-by-side, maybe even hand and hand shouting every single lyric word for word, and just letting out all the shadow work and trauma, that you two have built up over the past couple years, granted Kol is Literally hundreds of years old, and you’re probably someone your 20s or 30s. But trauma is trauma and y’all need to deal with that.

Bc deadass, these lyrics are Kol: “What's my definition of success? Listening to what your heart says. Standing up for what you know is. Right, while everybody else is” because in every single episode, when Kol says not to mess with some dumb shit that causes about to fucking do everyone else ignores him, even Elijah, and they fuck around and find out, and they all of a sudden need help. And then complain like no one told them exactly what the fuck was going to happen in the first place. This man is always right, and he needs people to listen more to him. He’s been listening to what his heart says, he’s been going out and meeting new people and trying to live a life that he would really be proud of. Even though he’s very much unhinged and still acts out because he wants to be king of the world and wants to have some form of control like Klaus has because he knows that he can never get away from Klaus.

And then, when I feel like it’s towards the end of the show, and NF finally drops, hope, I feel like that’s when Kol really starts to let go of things a little bit, and really start listening to lyrics and make a promise to himself with like, maybe fighting against his dark side, a little bit of all the things that he’s known, and then just digging himself a deeper hole. He wants to actually get better for you, and for himself to have a healthy relationship. Because he’s never had that in his life, and you’re just not a play thing to him at all.

“Thirty years of running, thirty years of searching. Thirty years of hurting, thirty years of pain. Thirty years of fearful, thirty years of anger. Thirty years of empty, thirty years of shame. Thirty years of broken, thirty years of anguish…. I’m taking the reins” so it’s really just him taking the reins of his life, and just making it better than whatever it actually was. And I hope that can be therapy, I really do. But this whole concert experience would really just be a gigantic therapy session for Cole, but also having fun with you because there’s no one else that he would let see that vulnerable and that lively and have his whole façade slip down like that besides you.

But he’d be a Drake fan, Travis Scott, and probably XXXtentacion… he’s still a menace, but he’s a healed menace…. well, healing.

ELIJAH

Here is the black womans whore himself… and my man *does the debby ryan* 

I know that Elijah appreciates music in general, that man literally writes his own concertos, plays the piano, plays the violin. He is classically trained. And I expect nothing less. Honestly, he really is him. And he is also still very much worse than Klaus, even though he would like to believe that he is not.

Honestly, I don’t think you would really have to introduce Elijah to rap or hip-hop music. I feel like he would already be in Erykah Badu fan, probably really like the Beastie Boys, was into old school, underground in New York, hip-hop and rap. He was probably there, underground, too, for shits and giggles when he wanted a break. So no, I don’t think you would have to introduce him to hip-hop, maybe to a couple artists and everything. But, that doesn’t need help with that department

I feel like Elijah would definitely be a Kendrick, Lamar, J. Cole fan in the rap game and even Lil Wayne too. But I want to get into some good old Tom foolery before I say my crème de la crème.

With the whole Kendrick, J. Cole and Drake beef, that’s happening, I don’t think that Elijah would ever take any sides. But I do feel like he would definitely keep up with the news, even though you wouldn’t expect them to, with the whole suit and everything.

To start off, I feel like you being the reader would bring up the whole rap beef thing to Elijah. Since two weeks ago, you already brought up the Megan Thee Stallion versus Nicki Minaj rap beef that was happening. And now, this time it is Kendrick versus everyone, fuck the big three it’s just big me nigga BUM

And I feel like it would be brought up during lunch or something since you guys have lunch together, and you’re just giving him the whole play-by-play and then letting him listen to the song. And I feel like you need to play a couple times for him, so he really gets to like listen to lyrics and understand because one thing about it is…. Metro dissed everyone in morse code

NAHHHHH CUZ YALL NOT HEARING HIMMMM BEEP BEEP BOOP NIGGA

Mans said “BUM” with his chest

Like I know, J. Cole was on his bike on his way to the studio. As soon as he heard what Kendrick Lamar said, but then again, he could also not be doing anything because he’s not the type to just be on Rappy just to get some shit going you know?

But anyways, I feel like Elijah would totally indulge in this, and he would write down a whole play-by-play with what everything means because the power money and respect? “Sweetheart, Drake is the money, Jermaine Coke is the respect, and Kendrick is the power….” I can fully foresee that man giving you a dissertation on every single line and lyric and how it is a jab at every single one of them, and the meaning is behind it. You got not only a history professor, but one of the great literary investigators of all time for no reason.

I feel like Elijah is low-key. Also waiting for Drake and J. Cole to respond to what Kendrick said about them. And he’s so messy, for he really is, because he acts all high and mighty but he’s really waiting for the gossip about what people about to say

But moving along from the rat beef, I really do feel like this man would be a Lil Wayne fan because Lil Wayne was setting a standard early in the 2000s and probably even before then about how he really is one of the best rappers out there. Like, no one else was doing it like him and no one else doesn’t like him, and will never do it like him. You would catch yourself humming to a Lil Wayne, and I feel like that man would pick it up instantly, and just go bar for bar on whatever humming note that you were on and it’s amazing, but it seems so out of character for him, but it’s really not.

Because this concert is going to be one hell of a trip because first and foremost he is not going there with a suit on, you’re going to have to get this man to be casual. Which shouldn’t be hard because he loves you, you’re his little chocolate drop, pumpkin. But putting this man in a leather jacket and some jeans and whatever shoes that are comfortable for him to wear at this concert is gonna be one thing. Fighting off other bitches while in the crowd is going to be another thing entirely as well.

But listening to him, actually let lose for the good two hours that you’ll be there at the concert screaming at your lungs, and listening to this man stay on rhythm beat and have actual breath control when he’s going for a speed to is going to be insane in mind melting

Let’s be honest, you wanna fuck this man on the regular basis just because he’s him. But you’re telling me that he’s cultured and he can wrap and knows what the fuck he’s talking about?

Coochie hours have been extended

And it gets even worse when he knows that this turns you on so anytime that you turn back to look at him he’s already looking at you, wrapping the verse with little to no effort and giving you those bad eyes because he just knows. He knows what he’s doing to you and you have no Other choice but to either look away or to hold eye contact because we both know this is gonna end up messy when you guys get back to the Airbnb or hotel room

“I said, "He's so sweet, make her wanna lick the wrapper" So I let her lick the rapper”, and this mans eyes are dead set on you and his gives the lip bite… Yeah yeah… time for me to gooooo

[mustainegf]

→ masterpost

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟏

WARNINGS: mention of abortion, angst, breakup, slight arguing, pregnancy

My footfalls were echoing in the empty hallway, with a scent of fear hanging on my nostrils; it was strange being here, under these fluorescent lights, waiting for information that could change my life within seconds. I had already been crushed by the loss of James and now this gnawing worry about my health chewed into me like a relentless beast.

Sitting in the plain white room, I felt all of that pressing down on me. Here I am alone as James is halfway around the world thrashing his guitar and screaming into his microphone. We had just recently ended our romantic relationship with each other.

There was no worse time to end things but he’d become distant, besides we were torn apart by endless touring and my own lack of confidence. I missed him so much that it hurt, a dull pain radiating from my chest throughout my whole body.

The doctor walked into the room, her face looking grave. My heart missed a beat. This won’t go well, I thought, and prepared myself for the worst.

“Miss,” she started, her voice firm but compassionate. “The tests came back… You’re almost a month into your pregnancy.”

I felt wind knocked out of me as if someone had punched me in the stomach. Pregnant? I gazed at her without hearing anything. A surge of emotions swept over me at the speed of light while my mind raced in circles.

“But…” I mumbled to myself more than to her. “How?”

We took precautions, didn't we? Yet here I am carrying our baby.

The doctor kept talking, telling me what my options were and giving support and advice, but her words became a faint hum as they got lost in the storm of thoughts inside my mind. I responded mechanically, said thank you to her and walked out of the hospital tiredly with a haze of confusion and fear in front of my mind.

I have no memory of how I actually made it home. The city rolled by on autopilot for me in a smear of color and light while my mind was stuck in an endless loop of ‘if’ or ‘why’. How would James take it? Can we save the bits and pieces left of our relationship?

As soon as I reached home, reality hit me like a jackhammer that would slam right into my face. My legs visibly shook when I crossed the door frame. Every step I took around the place echoed. Finally, I stepped into my room, which was where I hid most of the time.

I fell onto the bed, letting the tears stream down my face. I curled up on James's side, the side still scented with him, his cologne scent faintly in the sheets. It wasn't really his side any longer. It hadn't been since we broke up. But to me, it would always be his side.

My body was soon overcome by sobs, everything kicking in. There was a baby inside me, a tiny little life that James and I had brought into this world. How could this have happened? I just buried my face in the pillow, allowing the fabric to feed on my tears.

He was halfway around the world, living the life of a rock star, and I was here, alone, carrying his child.

I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to hold myself together, but it was no use, I was shattering.

But for now, I just lay there, crying into James' pillowcase, the smell of him somehow both a comfort and a torture. The future was wide open, and I just didn't know what was going to happen. But there was one thing I did know: I wasn't alone in this. I had a little life inside me, part James and part mine, and that was something worth fighting for. Right..?

I was beyond sobbing, but inside, the storm still raged. I lay on my bed, gazing at the ceiling; and suddenly a new thought entered my head, a thought even darker, for the first time: get an abortion.

The question hung my unspoken breath, oppressive. It had been a practical solution, one that would have made things easier, make the world make sense once more.

Was I really capable of ending this life growing inside me? The life that was made up of me and the man I loved? My stomach twisted with the thought. This baby was conceived out of a love that was deep, and real, even though it had recently gone silent. A love that was no more, at least for him.

I remembered the smiling face of James when his eyes lit up atop a radiant joy. I remembered how he held me, protectively, as if I was his world entirely. Now here I was thinking about ending a life that carried a part of that love inside it.

The more I thought about it, the more abortion sounded like betrayal. Betrayal not just to James, but to myself and my future child. I covered my stomach with a hand, and found a strange connection with the life there, growing.

I couldn't do it. I couldn't end this pregnancy. The thought of disrupting something so pure, something created from the best parts of us, made me want to crumble. Again, my eyes welled up, but this time they were not the same. They were tears of acceptance, of a decision made.

I lay in our bedroom, well, my bedroom, wrapped in silence, knowing without a shadow of a doubt that this decision would determine my future and that no matter what, really, I would walk the line, for James, and for the little life inside me.

It should have been just another night. The moon was low outside, shining silver through the window and painting my pacing figure in the cramped living room. The suffocating silence of our flat closed in around me; I felt like my own personal caged animal. James was late again.

When the front door finally creaked open, I whirled to face him. He stumbled in reeking of alcohol and smoke, his eyes glassy, unfocused. There was something about seeing him like this, disheveled and far away that was the thing that broke me. My heart twisted between anger and sorrow.

"You're late," I said. My voice shook with the effort of still holding it in.

He scrutinized me, the flicker of irritation running over his features again. "Got held up," he muttered, kicking off his shoes in the direction of the kitchen.

"Held up? James, you're always held up. Touring, partying, drinking, it's always something. Do you even care anymore?" My voice was rising with each word, frustration spilling gradually.

He spun around to me, his eyes narrowing. "Don't start. I'm tired."

"You're tired? What about me? I'm tired of waiting on you, of being made to feel like I'm second best behind everything else in your life!" The tears were there, but I struggled to hold them off.

He let his breath out in a whoosh, scrubbing a hand through his hair. "This again? You knew what you were getting into when we started this."

I felt his words hurt. "What I knew was that I loved you, that I believed in us. But now.now it feels like you're slipping away, like I'm losing you to this- this lifestyle."

He took a step closer and his face softened just a bit. "Baby, it's not like that. You know I love you."

I threw my head back, the tears now running down my face without hindrance. "Do you? Because I don't see it anymore. I miss you, James. I miss that boy I fell in love with. I miss my Jamie."

The gentleness touched his eyes, replacing quickly with defensiveness, his jaw ticking. "I told you, I've told you a number of times. This is my life. It's who I am."

He was lying. When I met James he wasn’t like this. He was the sweetest and shyest boy I’d ever seen. And now, we’re here…

"And what about who we are?" I sobbed, my voice cracking. "What about us? Are we just supposed to fall apart because you can't balance your life and our relationship?"

His silence was a deafening confirmation of my worst fears. He averted his gaze, looking away from me, and in that single, simple act, something inside me broke.

"I can't keep doing this," I whispered, the words almost too painful to say aloud. "I can't."

He turned back to me, his eyes filled with a mixture of anger and sadness. "So what are you saying? We’re done?"

I swallowed hard, the lump in my throat almost choking me to death. "Maybe. maybe we need to."

Then James just nodded, his eyes resigned. "Maybe you're right," he said softly. "Maybe we should stop. This… isn't working."

His words were final, and they hit me like a slap. We stood there facing each other, two broken people. I wanted to reach out, pull him close, and make everything better, but we both knew deep down that was much too late now.

"I love you," I whispered, my voice barely audible. "But I can't hurt this way anymore."

He nodded, letting a tear trace down his cheek. "I love you too. More than anything."

With those words, the last thread holding us together snapped. I turned away, unable to bear the sight of his pain and walked toward the bedroom. I could hear him moving there, the sound of his footsteps echoing in an empty room. He paused at the doorway, seemingly wanting to say something, but then he was gone.

I fell onto the bed, crying into the pillow. His side. That was his side, but it wasn't anymore. The bed felt huge, empty, bereft of what we had lost, and I cried until no more tears would fall, the emotional exhaustion finally dragging me off to a fitful sleep.

He was gone by morning. A note on the kitchen counter, a few hastily packed bags and the silence of an empty apartment. This was real, and it hit me harder than I could have ever imagined.

I keep the note on my bedside table.

“I love you, I’ll see you again. -Your Jamie.”

The days turned into weeks, and it didn't hurt any less. I missed him so much it physically hurt. Missed his laughter, missed his kisses on my skin. But deep in my heart, I knew we had done the right thing. I hoped.

The memory faded, and I was returned to the still quiet of the early morning. I clutched James's pillow, the faint scent of him still lingering. I missed him so much, a deep ache that never seemed to go away.

Light seeped through the curtains and filled my bedroom with its soft glow. I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. The now very familiar wave of nausea swept up inside me. Morning sickness was routine for me. But it had different meaning now. I knew what it was from now.

I rolled over, clutching at my stomach, and closed my eyes.

Slowly I sat up and wiped away the tears that had begun to stream down my cheeks. I had to be strong, for me and this baby. I had made my choice, and now I had to live with it.

I stood and made my way toward the bathroom. There wasn't going to be much about the path ahead that was going to be easy. That meant morning sickness in the belly. For now, one step at a time.

And maybe, just maybe, we'll find our way back to each other.

[ofthemorningstars]

Aftershow (Afterglow)

TerzOmega ~ smut below the cut ~ Romantic fluff

3.6k words

Ao3 version

It's been a long, hard week for Omega, and Terzo is doing his best to make it harder.

-----

Omega was struggling. This was their third show of the week, and it wasn't necessarily that he was tired. No, it wasn’t that. It was that mouthy little singer prancing around the stage like he owned the place, taunting him with his words and his body.

“Impregnate me right here right now on this floor, Omega!” he had yelled into the microphone. Omega had choked, sputtering as he worked to maintain his composure. Thank the dark lord he was wearing a mask. Remembering it now even 3 songs later, his face grew hot again; he lost his place in the song, throwing his bandmates off along with him. He could feel their glares as he tried to recover and chose to ignore them. This wasn't the first time he'd messed up a riff tonight. Satanas, he was ready for this hell to be over. 

—

As Terzo took his first steps through his dressing room door, he let out a long sigh and surveyed his surroundings as though he were seeing them for the first time. Large, lighted vanity, black leather sofa, warm brick walls, a coffee and tea station, and a fully stocked mini fridge with his favorite snacks, drinks, and plenty of water. Really quite nice by mid-size venue standards. He had no reason to complain, and yet something felt wrong. Empty.

It was a feeling that had been plaguing him after every show lately, a hollow numbness that followed the exhilaration of being on stage. With the lights, the bass that thundered in his chest, the screaming of hundreds of adoring fans… the adrenaline was hard to beat back. It almost felt like it was forced on him, at times. Each show took something of him, another unwilling sacrifice to feed the beast of stardom. Another tithe to the ministry.

Shaking his head as though doing so would clear the fog quickly settling in, he pinched the bridge of his nose and took unsteady strides over to the mirror. He was greeted by the sight of mismatched eyes framed by soft lines. They were nearing the end of his first tour as Papa, and it showed in the roadmap that was beginning to crisscross his handsome features. This job was taking a physical toll on him, and seeing the evidence made him anxious.

Tearing his eyes away, he began the tedious process of undressing, starting with his no longer quite pristine white gloves. He grimaced as he saw his left hand. Bare. Nothing but an empty space where his wedding ring should be. A bitter reminder of all of the ways he was under the control of the church. Of her. He was just a puppet, the Imperator gripping his strings so tightly that he was being strangled.

Of course, performing wasn’t all bad. It was the one chance they got to be away from the Imperator and the ever-watchful eyes that seemed to be on him at all times. If he had any friends, they were his ghouls. His ghouls, who were always by his side, who always had his back, who went out of their way to protect him. Him, and Omega. 

Omega. He felt his shoulders relax at the name. His beloved Omega. The ghoul who held the other half of both his heart, and their wedding band set.

As though he could hear his thoughts, the door to his dressing room flew open, hitting the wall with a loud thud. Startled from his contemplations, Terzo spun around to face the intruder, eyes wide. Towering so tall he practically had to duck through the door frame, Omega walked in, kicking the door closed behind him and stalking towards the smaller man with purpose. Terzo could practically feel the irritation rolling off of him in waves, and it sent a jagged thrill through him.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing out there?” he snarled low, the sound rumbling through Terzo’s chest and causing his heart to quicken like the thunderous roar of the speakers had mere minutes ago. Involuntarily he took a step back, but Omega was upon him immediately, backing him up against the wall, gripping him tightly by the shoulders. Omega ripped his mask off and tossed it aside, revealing a scowl beneath a furrowed brow covered in a light sheen of sweat. 

“What– What do you mean?” Terzo stammered, struggling to get the words out. His pulse hammered in his ears, his pupils dilated as he took in the sight of the ghoul before him. Broad. Muscled. Breathtaking. His eyes were wild with agitation, and something else that made Terzo shiver.

“Don’t play coy with me,” Omega growled. Grabbing Terzo forcefully by the chin, he tilted his head up and licked his neck possessively, stopping to bite just below his ear. Terzo whined, squirming in his hold. “You’ve been teasing me all night. Acting like a slut for the whole world to see. You’ve been daring me to do something about it.” He reached down and cupped Terzo through his pants roughly, squeezing. “It’s time to pay up.”

“O–Omega, I–” Terzo choked out, but Omega’s lips were upon his in a searing kiss before he could get another word in. A forked tongue probed his mouth. Fangs snagged on his bottom lip. Despite his confusion, Terzo’s arms snaked around Omega’s neck, deepening the kiss. Omega let him, for a moment, before pushing Terzo’s jacket off of his shoulders. Omega’s hands then slid around to Terzo’s chest and grabbed at his collar as if to rip it open; Terzo broke away with a loud noise of protest and shoved at Omega.

“Amore, please! If another costume gets ruined, the Imperator will have my head!” Defiantly, Omega made a show of slicing a single button off with a claw, not breaking eye contact. Then another, and another, before losing patience and pulling the whole thing apart in one go. The top fell to the floor with a soft thud, and Omega was immediately upon his chest, biting and sucking hard enough to leave bruises, marking his territory. His hot mouth found a nipple at the same time that his hand returned to Terzo’s growing bulge, and Terzo gasped. Omega knelt down, biting and licking a glistening trail down to his waistband. He slipped a clawed finger underneath, teasing, before sliding both hands down the back of Terzo’s pants. Omega gripped his ass hard, kneading. A shivering whimper escaped Terzo.

“You’ve had me craving you all night. Wanting to taste you,” Omega said through gritted teeth. “The way you move. The things you say. Fucking hell, Terzo, you grabbed my ass on stage for everyone to see. You know exactly what you’re doing. Don’t you?” He bit down on a nipple and Terzo squeaked. Omega impatiently yanked Terzo’s pants down, smirking at the way his precum-wet underwear stuck to his skin. “Look at the mess you’ve made. You’re such a whore for this, aren’t you?” Before he could respond, Omega had taken Terzo’s entire cock into his mouth and began furiously working him, tongue trailing on veins and swirling around his tip. Terzo let out an unrestrained moan, uncaring if they were heard. His hands tangled in Omega’s hair, grabbed at his horns, anything he could to find purchase. Omega chuckled and hummed low, vibrations tingling up Terzo’s spine. The ghoul’s hands found his ass again and stroked both cheeks sensually before squeezing harder, claws digging. Terzo let his head fall back, leaning heavily on the wall, the brick scratching at his scalp.

“O–Omega…” Terzo gasped, his legs going weak. Omega growled and suddenly released him, standing all at once, leaving Terzo dazed. Omega scooped him up with ease, eliciting a surprised yelp. He crossed the room with Terzo in his arms until they reached the vanity counter, the contents of which were unceremoniously knocked to the floor with a sweep of Omega’s large hand. Terzo didn't even care at this point; his head was still reeling from the loss of Omega's mouth. Terzo’s bare ass was planted on the countertop as Omega wasted no time stripping out of his pants, revealing his sizeable erection, precum beading at the tip. Terzo salivated at the sight as his breath quickened in anticipation. Omega shot him a dark look but then paused as though just remembering something. He retrieved his discarded trousers from the floor and fished a small bottle of lube from one of the pockets. Terzo laughed in surprise.

“My dear Omega, where was your mind when you were getting ready for the show?” Terzo teased. 

“I’m always prepared, mio amato,” Omega replied, his voice husky, running his fingers tenderly through Terzo’s hair and down to cup his cheek. Indeed, they had lube stashed just about everywhere, if Terzo were being honest with himself. It was very necessary; the pair had been insatiable practically since they’d first laid eyes on each other at Omega’s summoning. It was fascination at first sight. Terzo had been freshly 20 back then, such a long time ago now, it felt like. Sure, it had taken a few weeks of Omega stalking him around the ministry from the shadows for Terzo to confront him, but from that first electric kiss, they had belonged to each other. Their passion burned hot and wild and eternal as hellfire. Tonight was no exception as affection and arousal battled for space in Terzo’s chest.

Omega withdrew his hand from Terzo's face to fuss with the bottle, and Terzo closed his eyes at the loss. Omega took Terzo’s hand and filled it with a generous amount of lube before guiding the smaller man into fingering himself. Terzo hissed as he slipped one finger in, his body heating as he drew in and out. He slowly worked his way up to two fingers as Omega slicked his cock, watching hungrily as Terzo touched himself. Terzo’s body hummed with anticipation. Losing his patience, Omega pounced on him, dragging his forked tongue up the side of Terzo’s face. Terzo attempted to make a weak protest, something about not ruining his makeup, but he could feel Omega’s breath coming heavy and hot against his ear and suddenly he couldn’t find it in himself to care.

Omega slid his hands underneath Terzo’s ass, pulling him to the edge of the countertop. He worked himself inside, grunting with relief to finally be buried to the hilt in his lover. Overly excited, he started to move before Terzo had time to adjust. Terzo cried out, wrapping his arms around Omega’s neck for support.

“Everything alright?” Omega ground out with considerable effort.

“Y–yes” Terzo stammered, panting. “Don't stop.”

Omega caught his mouth in a passionate kiss as his thrusting settled into a punishing rhythm. His large, warm hands explored Terzo’s body, circling nipples, etching wandering patterns into his back with his claws, hard enough to draw blood. Terzo whimpered through the kiss, grinding against Omega as best as he could in his current position. Omega’s hands once again settled on Terzo’s ass in response to his squirming, pulling him forward until the smaller man could take in as much of the ghoul’s heavy cock as he wanted. Terzo wrapped his legs around Omega’s waist tightly. Greedily. 

“This is what you wanted, wasn't it? To be bred?” Omega growled, punctuating his words with a forceful thrust of his hips, hitting Terzo's prostate just so and making him throw his head back in a loud moan. “You're such a slut. You’re always hungry for my cock. Aren't you?”

Terzo's nails scratched uselessly against the fabric of Omega's shirt, causing Terzo to curse under his breath. He was desperately craving skin to skin contact. He wanted to bite into Omega with nails and teeth, to leave possessive marks of his own, to feel their bodies burn together. He started to work at removing the garment with shaking hands, but Omega caught them.  

“No. This isn't about you. You've been driving me wild all night, and now it's my turn to have a little fun.” Omega's tone was cool and detached now. It excited him. 

Gripping Terzo by the hips, Omega began to pound into him harder, faster. His tail wound its way around Terzo's waist while his lips found his neck, kissing and licking and sucking his way down to his shoulder. Omega bit down hard, his fangs piercing the skin and drawing blood, which trailed in little rivulets. Terzo released a quivering cry, his face flushing a deep shade of pink, cock weeping a fresh drip of precum. Terzo was close. 

“Omega,” Terzo whispered pleadingly. Omega knew what he wanted, but wouldn't give it so easily. Terzo had been messing with his head all night. All week, if he was being honest. Without warning, Omega drew out and threw Terzo over his shoulder, ignoring Terzo's strangled protest. He walked him over to the sofa and dumped him down onto it, though not without care even in the haze of his lust. Terzo was flushed and foggy, too desperately aroused by Omega's show of strength to be able to be irritated by being denied release. Taking a step back, Omega began to touch himself in long, leisurely strokes, admiring the sight before him. Terzo was disheveled, dressed in nothing but his socks at this point, glistening with sweat, paint smeared, chest heaving, cock dripping, pupils blown wide. He was beautiful. It threatened to drive Omega mad with want.

“Turn over,” Omega commanded sharply. Terzo eagerly obeyed. When Terzo was settled comfortably on his stomach, Omega slapped his flank before straddling him and slipping back inside with a sigh of relief. Terzo groaned, pressing his face into the cool leather of the sofa, nails once again scratching uselessly on the smooth surface. Omega shifted his hips and began to ride him hard, showing no mercy. Terzo found himself grinding against the leather not of his own will, his body desperate for friction. He could feel the pleasure start to build again as he tried to fight it back, wanting this to last.

“Amore,” Terzo pleaded. “Let me feel you.”

Omega’s wicked smile softened. He knew what he wanted: not just touch, but a deeper intimacy. He reached out to Terzo with his quintessence. At once he could feel his own burning weight and heat the way Terzo did, the overwhelming fullness, and the impact of his thrusts on Terzo’s prostate. The building pressure that was threatening to break him apart. Omega knew Terzo could feel the same delicious tight, wet warmth that he did when he was inside of him. Beneath these foreign sensations, though, was an overwhelming sense of trust, of comfort. Of a love so deep that he longed to drown in it. Omega shivered, closing his eyes to the feeling. He leaned down, pressing his body into the human’s delicate frame. His tail brushed Terzo’s cheek, before wrapping snugly around his neck like a collar and pulling his head back.

“I want to hear you scream my name. I want the whole crew to hear you. I want everyone to know what you’re doing. To know who’s breeding you,” Omega breathed in his ear.

“Omega, I–,” Terzo started to protest, causing Omega to tighten his hold on Terzo’s throat. “Nngh! Omega!” Terzo cried weakly, doing his best to obey but struggling to find his voice.

“Louder,” Omega hissed, thrusting hard. Terzo cried out wordlessly. Omega snarled, “Louder!”

Omega bit down hard on Terzo’s shoulder again and he could feel Terzo’s nerves sing with bittersweet pain. Struggling for air and blissed out of his mind, Terzo came with a shout. “OMEGA!” Omega wasn’t far behind, releasing his bite on Terzo, burying his face into the crook of his neck instead. He shook hard through his release, cum spilling out of Terzo and rolling down his thighs and onto the sofa. He slumped heavily onto Terzo, unable to move, until he realized that Terzo was struggling to breathe under his weight. Shit.

Quickly sliding to the floor as there wasn’t enough room for them to lay side by side, he knelt by Terzo’s head and ran his claws through his hair. Groggily, Terzo turned to face him, eyes lidded heavily and a small smile on his face. Omega could feel his happiness sparking through their connection, but also his exhaustion. He felt a twinge of guilt. Of course this week hadn’t just been hard on him, how could he have forgotten? Terzo worked just as hard as the rest of the band. Didn’t he deserve rest like everyone else? Why was he so selfish?

Through the remaining threads of their previous connection, Terzo sensed his distress. Before he could spiral further, Terzo took one of his hands in his and kissed it, gently laying his head down on it. “Amore mio, you always know exactly what I need.”

Caught off guard, Omega grinned sheepishly. “Yeah?”

“Si.”

Omega laid his head down next to Terzo’s, closing his eyes. They lay there in contented silence for a few minutes, until Terzo lifted his head weakly. “I think we have to get up now.” Upon getting no response, he gently shoved at Omega’s shoulder. Omega groaned. “We can sleep when we get to the hotel, si? And maybe do some other things as well,” Terzo said, a smile in his voice. Omega snorted.

“How are you still not done after all of that?” Omega teased. “Insatiable.” Terzo just winked in response. Slowly he peeled his sweaty skin off of the couch, cringing at the way his thighs and stomach stuck to the leather, sticky with both his own cum and Omega’s. Omega hoisted himself up to find a towel, and they cleaned up and got dressed in comfortable silence.

Terzo examined himself in the mirror, making a futile effort to fix his hair and trying his best to ignore the ruined mess of his makeup. Omega saw him fretting over his reflection and came up behind him, wrapping his arms around Terzo’s waist. “I’m sorry, tesoro mio. I can't resist you,” he cooed at the man as he fussed over his makeup, kissing his neck tenderly. Terzo sighed, knowing his only option was to remove the paint and start fresh. He hated to go through the trouble of reapplying just to take it off at the hotel, but he'd be in trouble if anyone caught him out in public without it. The chances of getting caught by anyone who cared were low; the Imperator never oversaw their tours in person, but still, he had learned to be cautious after a few near-misses.

Despite the amount of work involved, the road gave them more freedom. Fewer eyes on them between shows. More time together. They could share a bed on the tour bus, Omega could “visit” Terzo's hotel room, or they could simply curl up together on the bus’s sofa without anyone batting an eye. Why would they? When they were on the bus, they got to be openly affectionate and freely live like the married couple they were. The ghouls pretended to be grossed out by their PDA and teased them endlessly, but really, they didn't mind. Things had always been this way, since the early days of their summoning. To them, Omega and Terzo had always been a package deal. It was an open secret, one that Terzo was sure everyone in the ministry knew about. Even the Imperator. He didn’t know why she hadn’t acted against them yet. He dreaded the day when she would.

“Shit!” Omega exclaimed from across the room. When had he left? Terzo had been so deep in thought that he hadn’t noticed; he jumped and turned to see him glaring at his phone, running his claws through his own hair in frustration.

“What’s wrong, amore?” Terzo crossed the room to him, resting a hand on Omega’s arm.

“Those fuckers left us!”

“Who?” Terzo was confused.

Omega sat down heavily on the couch that was still drying post-cleanup, not thinking. “The other ghouls. Alpha texted me 15 minutes ago. He said they knew what we were up to and that they were tired of waiting. Everyone went to the hotel without us.”

Fear shot through Terzo. How were they going to make it to their hotel now? The two of them leaving alone together would look very suspicious, and any cab they called would have to be paid for with the ministry’s company card. “Maybe we could just stay here tonight and have them pick us up in the morning,” Terzo proposed, though he knew it wouldn’t work.

Omega shook his head glumly. “Mio amato, the venue will kick us out.” He ran his claws through Terzo’s hair, trying to fix himself what had been mussed out of place by their earlier activities. “I think we’ll just have to use the card and pray the ministry doesn’t notice.”

“If she says anything, we’ll just tell her I was ill and that my most loyal ghoul stayed behind to take care of me,” Terzo said self-assuredly.

Omega swallowed hard at the thought of the Imperator finding out just what “taking care” of Terzo entailed.

Terzo begrudgingly took out his own phone and called for a cab, sighing after he hung up. “It will be another 45 minutes. At least that gives me time to redo my paint,” Terzo said softly. “And to clean you up, too,” he added after contemplating the ghoul’s face that was currently covered in black lipstick smears. He decided to add one more to his cheek first, giggling quietly and going in for another, but Omega turned and caught his mouth with his own. They sat there for a minute, then 5, hands roaming. “We need to get ready to leave, amore,” Terzo whispered, but found himself drawn back to Omega like a magnet. After another minute, Omega broke the kiss with a soft sound.

“Maybe we should stay here tonight.”

[drewsbuzzcut]

24 Hours With The Barzals

mat barzal x model!fem!reader

a visceral in doses fic (the vogue series)

warnings: Hints at smut (sorta) and I think that’s all… let me know if there’s something I didn’t catch

Morning:

“Hi Vogue! It’s Y/n Barzal and welcome to my home. Please join me and my family for the day,” you greet, moving to the side to allow Vogue’s camera crew to come in and follow you down the long hallway.

“Everyone is already ready for the day. Mat loves taking over in the morning. He’s so domesticated and he gets all flustered whenever I bring it up, but he loves it,” you grin and cover your cheeks to stop your blush from being shown on camera.

“What do I love?” Mat asks with a proud smile on his face because Sloane is in his arms. Sloane is such a daddy’s girl.

Before answering him, you cuddle up to him, wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders and kissing Sloane’s chubby cheeks. “How domesticated you are. You love being a daddy,” you answer, patting his pec.

“Oh jeez,” he says under his breath, cheeks already getting red.

“Don’t get shy. You’re the best dad ever. We’re so lucky,” you reassure him, kissing his neck chastely.

“So, on today’s agenda is training with my favorite trainer,” you say looking up at Mat with a smirk. “Then I have a fitting with Victoria’s Secret. After that we will have lunch and we have some shopping to do! It’s going to be a long day, but hopefully we can make it fun,” you talk about the day ahead.

“Mama!” Angel shouts, tugging on your jeans and holding his arms up for you to pick him up.

“My Angel boy! I love you. Sometimes AJ just wants so much attention, and I absolutely love it. It doesn’t matter who he gets attention from, he just craves it.”

“He gets that from me except I only crave attention from my wife and kids,” Mat chimes in, stepping behind you and wrapping his arm around your waist.

You roll your eyes in fake annoyance and not a minute later Nolan is begging to be held too.

“Nolan is a mommy’s boy,” you say, smiling wide and eyes flashing with unconditional love.

“Mommy is so pretty,” Nolan whispers but the camera still catches it. You have to stop yourself from melting into a puddle on the floor.

“She is, isn’t she, buddy,” Mat whispers as well, attacking you all with kisses that make you squeal in delight.

Afternoon:

“This is my favorite private training spot! It’s just so convenient. Whenever we book it we’re able to bring the kids and there’s so much room for them,” you tell the camera, walking around to give a small tour of the area.

The camera pans around to show Nolan and Angel playing with their favorite dinosaur toys and Sloane resting peacefully in her baby rocker.

“Being that the Victoria’s Secret fashion show is less than a month away, I have started training. I workout every week, but we’re doing some specific training, so Mat will show me some boxing moves that he’s learned and he will give me a workout that he does. It’s a lot more for me, but that’s my goal!”

“She’s an absolute beast. I thought she was going to be tired and worn out, but she’s the strongest person I know,” Mat says, kissing your lips.

“It helps when you have an amazing partner.”

The camera films you going through multiple circuits of various workouts, each harder than the last. Halfway through, you take a break to replenish yourself and to feed Sloane while Mat gives the boys their snacks.

“Whenever we’re here by ourselves we still take a break just to let our muscles relax and to rehydrate, but with the kids here we usually don’t finish our workout. We end up running around with the boys until our legs feel like jello. It makes night time easier when the boys let out their pent up energy,” you explain.

True to your word, the camera films you and Mat chasing Nolan around while you have AJ in your hold. Their giggles fill up the room and you’ve never heard something more precious. When everyone is spent, all laid out on the floor, you pick up Sloane to set her on Mat’s chest. Yeah, sometimes you will get jealous that she’s so attached to Mat, but you can’t deny the flutter of feelings you feel whenever you see them together.

She immediately cuddles into his chest and his giant hands rest on her back, she falls asleep so easily with him. You get up from your spot on the floor, needing to have some contact with your husband. You sit by his head so he can rest it in your lap while you play with his hair.

“These are my favorite types of workouts. I know a lot of people see me focused on my work, but I will never choose something over my family.”

“It’s our pride and joy,” Mat confirms.

——————————————————————

“Next up: my VS fashion show fitting!”

“Okay, before we go in, it’s pure chaos in there so stick with me,” you say the next time the camera is rolling. You had to drop off both boys with your best friend Beverly, but it was best as it’d be too much for all of you to attend your fitting.

“I’d love to show you my outfit, but I’m afraid that’s top secret, so I guess we have to settle for only seeing the wings,” you say, tying your robe to hide one of your many outfits.

You go through makeup and hair just to see what it’ll look like before the big show. It’s a lot of trial and error, but it’s fun for you. While you’re in the chair and your hair is getting styled, Mat is sitting next to you with Sloane on his lap. She’s babbling and her hands wander Mat’s cheeks. She feels the smoothness of his fresh shaven face and she presses a messy kiss to the skin. It makes Mat laugh that laugh that you only hear when he’s truly happy.

“It’s time for the wings!” One of the stylists cheers.

You look at the camera with wide eyes and a giddy smile. It’s your first time wearing a pair of wings for the Victoria’s Secret fashion show.

“Are you ready?” Mat asks, knowing the wings are something you’ve been waiting for.

“Yeah! I’m nervous, though.”

“You’ll be perfect,” he assures you.

“Okay! We will put the wings on over the robe and then we’ll go over the measurements of the straps. Ready?”

“Yes!”

The stylists help you slide the wings on and when you get a look at yourself, you start to tear up. For a few minutes you’re quiet, small streams of tears falling from your eyes. Mat is quick to get up, adjusting Sloane in his hold, and pulling you into him.

“You look beautiful, babe. You were meant to wear these wings. I love you and I’m so proud of you,” he whispers against your temple. You cry a bit more, throwing your arms around his neck and kissing him a few times.

“I love you more,” you say back.

“This is a moment I have been waiting for for what feels like forever. I’m so grateful to finally experience my first pair of wings!” You exclaim to the camera.

“Next we are having some food at my best friend’s house!”

The camera next films Mat, your best friend, the kiddos, and you at Beverly’s kitchen island.

“This is Beverly Blount, my best friend and the best actress in the entire industry,” you introduce your blushing bestie.

“This is basically our second New York home. We always come over here to eat and hang out,” Mat informs.

“Our babies love to be with auntie bb!”

“It’s only because they love my cooking.”

“Well that’s what happens when you’re a good cook.”

Nolan is sitting on the island, leaning against you while you stand, feeding him because he’s a big mommy’s boy and you love spoiling him. Angel is in Mat’s arms while he’s also standing at the island, but AJ is passed out. If Angel can sleep in Mat’s arms, he will. He has the hardest time whenever Mat goes on a roadie.

As you all continue eating and talking, you take a look around, enjoying the way everyone interacts together. When you met Mat, you knew he was the one, but you never imagined your life the way it is now. You didn’t expect to have kids at a young age, but you wouldn’t trade them for anything. You know Mat feels the same way. You can see it now, how he holds his babies whenever his hands are free or not free, or how he looks at them like they’re the most precious beings. They are.

You press a kiss to Nolan’s cheek, making him turn around and kiss your forehead- something he’s picked up from Mat. You move closer to Mat, arms circling around his waist and letting your head rest on his shoulder. You smile when he pecks the skin of your neck. Angel may be asleep, but that doesn’t stop you from kissing his cute face. The same with Sloane, as she sleeps you kiss her tiny nose.

Evening:

After you finished eating, Beverly talked you and Mat into letting her watch Sloane, so you and Mat could finish the rest of your errands. It’s not that you didn’t trust her, because you trust her with your life, but you didn’t want to overwhelm her being that Sloane is still a baby. That being said, now you and Mat are out shopping.

“We are here at YSL looking for a suit for Mat. He wants to dress in something new for when he attends my fashion show, and I can’t blame him. Plus, I love to wear his button up at night when we get undressed because it smells like his cologne.”

“She also loves being my stylist.”

“That's true; no one dresses barzy better than me,” you sass, chin up and a smirk painting your face.

You feel your husband come up behind you, hands resting on your hips and his face hiding in your neck. He kisses the skin a couple times before whispering in your ear, “and no one undresses you better than me,” paired with a chaste kiss. Your face flushes and you have to resist the urge of stopping the interview and heading home.

“I think I should just stick with a plain black suit, so we don’t have to stay here too long,” Mat tries to get you to comply, but you deny his request, stating that he needs to try all his options.

“Mat loves a black suit. Which I’m not sure why because he looks breathtaking in blue. Watch, when we’re done here, he’ll have a brand new blue suit to take home,” you rant.

As time ticks by, Mat tries on a variety of suits and outfits, simply skipping over the blue suit. He knows you’re right.

“Maty, baby,” you lay it on thick, knowing you’ll get him to cave.

“I think you should try on the blue suit. You know you look gorgeous in blue,” you whisper to him, hands holding onto the back of his neck and staring deep into his eyes.

He sighs, “fine.”

You grin at the camera, desperately trying to hold in your laughter.

When he walks out the dressing room, everything unbuttoned and untucked, you reach out for him as he loves when you do it for him.

“You like it?” You ask as you’re tucking in his shirt and fastening his belt.

“Yeah, it looks nice. Actually this one is my favorite,” he says.

You turn him around to face the mirror, fixing some loose strands of his hair. He stares at himself, looking at your reflection for your approval.

“You look so good, baby,” you say while snapping a picture of him.

Once you’ve paid for everything, including a pair of heels you just needed, you walk out the store, arm wrapped around Mat’s waist while he holds the bags.

“Thank you so much Vogue for following us around. Now, we need to get our babies home, fed, and in bed. Night time is sacred to the Barzals. Because it’s our favorite time of day- an intimate part of our day, we will part ways here. I love you all and I hope you enjoyed a day in our lives. Bye!” You say, blowing a kiss to the camera.

a/n: Idk why this took me forever (forever for me at least) this isn’t exactly my favorite, but I hope y’all enjoy it! I think this is the last installment for the vogue series. It’s been fun!

[mylevisdontfitanymore]

I hear you want to write but are having a hard time answering prompts. Don't feel obligated to answer this one either, this is free labor, you never have too!!!! But maybe it would help by giving you a free space. What's eating at you [pun intended hehe]?

Me and this anon be like:

You are so thoughtful, thank you! ❤️❤️❤️

And you know what has been eating at me 😂 for whatever reason, I have no idea what turned me onto this idea, or why I can't stop thinking about it but there is something about the idea of completely, entirely spoiled Bucky that's been heavy on my mind.

Unbeta'd stucky belly kink under the read more, complete with lots and lots of stuffing, weight gain, and teasing/fat-shaming, too.

I'm talking about silver-spoon, generationally wealthy Bucky. He never has known what it is to want, yanno? Everything he could ever dream of, he gets immediately. He's never had a job other than learning what fork to use during meal times and which to use during dessert.

He looks like Wakanda, Jesus Bucky in spirit.

His hair is lush and shiny but his is proper, high-society style. So, it's cropped short at the sides and marginally longer at the top, coiffed back into stylish, fluffy waves. His face is clean-shaven, not beared, but his skin still glows and his marble-carved bone structure has been filled out by good food and constant pampering. He's always in the latest fashion, too. He looks the part of his high-maintenance, rich lifestyle.

When he was a kid and then a teenager it was totally fine that he fit so, so well into his lavish upbringing - including his taste for excessively sweet food and excessive amounts of food - because he had a speedy metabolism and the whimsy of a child, always running through his parent's expansive mansion or spending hours in the endless, deep green lawns playing by himself or roping one of the servents or his tutor into his games. His parents always were too busy with their socializing to raise their own messy child, instead passing responsibility off to someone, anyone else.

For a while, Bucky also took an interest in polocrosse, so he stayed slim for his elegant, equestrian sport. Loping through open, well-manicured fields on horseback, going after the ball with his racquet. But, as he grows and matures into a snooty young adult, with his twenties comes a slowing of his hummingbird metabolism and a boredom of sport. He has more important, more luxurious, relaxing activities to attend to than riding some beast that he doesn't even pick up after or care for - that's what the help is for. Besides, the medals mean nothing to him. He knows he's deserving and is a blue-ribbon winner without the physical reminders. Naturally, it's in his genes, he may as well be a hot-blooded, thoroughbred himself.

Bucky's metabolism slows and his activity level wanes but neither can be said about his appetite - not slowing, nor waning.

His hunger was one of those wants he's always, always had met through his generational wealth. His dire want for sweets. When he was younger, he always got a slap on the wrist for gorging himself on sugary sweets - pastries, candy, and the like - but never truly punished. His love affair wasn't tamed no matter how often he "spoiled" his own dinner, charming the cooks to feed him more than he needed, secretly getting their driver to go and retrieve him something from the city's candy shop, or even simply tiptoeing into the well-stocked pantry at night to give himself a tummy ache.

Now, his appetite is insatiable and he is growing more and more unfit seemingly like the hour. All because his days aren't spent working - he's never had to lift a finger for anything - but, instead, his hours are filled to the brim (and then some) with wine tastings, occasional tours of the winery grounds, cheese samplings, fine dining reservations or world-class chefs inhabiting his home for a few nights, and more. As soon as he's allowed by Mommy and Daddy, he moves off the sprawling family property to buy his own. He comes in and sweeps up a swath of land, putting a huge, pretty house on it and filling the rooms with staff. Most of the time, he doesn't leave his home. His driver's chauffeur experts in drink and food back and forth, bringing waves of delicious, expensive delicacies straight to Bucky's beautiful abode from the private airport nearby.

He. is. spoiled.

As he grows, he becomes rich fat, not poor fat - which becomes an important, prideful distinction in Bucky's spoiled, snobby mind. He is high society. He is well taken care of. So, of course, he's large.

Rich fat is fat that's undeniably plump and round with perfect curves. Rolls. Pale and smooth. No cellulite. No stretch marks. No blemishes. Just milky, pale swells of flesh that are soft but still firm and high. Something of a cherub straight from a masterful Renaissance painting.

His body tells the truth of his life - he doesn't lift a finger. He's practically a Roman Emperor, lounging on his side, draped in a sheet that barely fits over his bulging, excessive curves, fed the finest wine and offered peeled grapes that he lazily consumes until he's so full and drunk that he has to stop his servants by lifting a dainty hand, breathily moaning. No more. He can't take anymore now, he's so full that his fat, normally plush, soft belly has swelled to be as firm as a drum. But... give it an hour and he'll be snapping his fingers, rolled onto his back, under the weight of his belly, needing more. He won't even bother to get back up unless his servants help him, at that point, all he wants is more.

Always more.

Bucky becomes so insatiable with his life of luxury orbiting his round belly (rapidly transforming to be so large and spherical that it might be its own planet with a gravitational pull, keeping his hands to it at all times, unable to stop rubbing and touching his big body), that he hires someone new to live on his estate with him.

A masseuse.

Bucky becomes accustomed to eating until he feels fit to pop, stuffing down delicacies as if they're commonplace. Then, when he's so achingly tight, it's only natural to crave hands on his belly. He needs all the help digesting that he can get on a steady diet of peeled grapes, chocolate-coated strawberries, and other delicate fruits alongside the finest cheeses in paper-thin slices (but so many of those slices that he may as well have eaten the entire wheel by biting hunks off rudely) paired with jam and honey and bread and meats cured and prepared just so, plus bubbly champagne to wash it all down. That excessive diet leaves his tummy churning, groaning, and gassy. He has to stifle his burps behind one hand while the other works to soothe himself - it's instinctive, those rubbing motions.

Working? Aching? That just won't do. Bucky isn't dumb enough to expend energy when he doesn't have to. His private education afforded him better common sense. And he often goes to the spa, so he's familiar with massages. One plus one is two. Bucky needs a masseuse to rub his belly.

His masseuse is a tall, broad man - muscular and handsome with bright blue eyes and blonde hair. He has a pleasantly pale complexion with freckles but his nose that like it's been broken once or twice, bumped in the middle, and his hands are certainly the hands of a working man. He has obviously worked hard to get where he is with veins obvious in his arms and the backs of his hands and callouses on his palms. Even with all the lotion and oils, his hands are just the slightest bit rough thanks to those callouses.

If he weren't so handsome and hadn't proved himself to be so good at his job, Bucky might not keep him around. Thoughtlessly he could fire him, or any of his staff, and hire someone else.

Bucky doesn't like anything rough. He likes simple, easy, and luxurious. He likes softness. He reclines in overstuffed chairs and couches, expensive and sink-into-the-softness, and sleeps (and eats) on a perfectly swallowing-up bed. His body is currently being transformed into the same type of sensation - plush, soft, overstuffed. He likes that. He's becoming as excessive as his lifestyle - shaped perfectly for it.

He doesn't enjoy roughness.

He doesn't enjoy the bit of resentment on his masseuse's face and weaved secretly into his voice when they first meet.

Steve is a good worker, though, and Bucky appreciates that. He's accustomed to throwing money around, but he only throws it when it's what he wants or something he needs that he's having done his way. If a gardener, cook, or tailor doesn't work as fast or as hard as Bucky thinks they ought to - they're gone. Simple as that.

Steve works hard, Steve works fast, Steve is... interesting. He doesn't approve of Bucky's lifestyle, that much is clear, so he must need the money. But also, he doesn't complain. Not really. He does tease Bucky, though. It seems they both know their differences and there's something there. Something exciting. They both have their tastes and the clash of their differing tastes becomes electric.

Bucky learns to enjoy a little bit of roughness because of Steve.

Steve is called in to support Bucky either nearing the end of a massive meal or after his meal has been finished. His job title is "masseuse" and he does massage Bucky but, just, one part of him -

His belly.

His job is to aid Bucky's body in digesting after a splurge... if you can call his gorging meals and oversized snacks that happen every day, multiple times a day like clockwork "splurges." Splurging implies you don't do it all the time. Bucky is consistently stuffed to the gills. The only time he's not full is when he wakes up, first thing in the morning, and that's not always a guarantee - Bucky has gotten especially fat recently, it's why he needs Steve, and now, he can't always make it through the night without a snack. If he needs one, he snaps his fingers or rings the little bell he keeps by his bedside, rousing his live-in servants and making them retrieve a "light" snack for him from the kitchen. If he's had a midnight snack, his belly might still be firm and bloated when he wakes up. Regardless, Steve helps settle his belly.

At first, when Steve was hired, he did his job without comment. Now that they know each other a little better and each of them is rubbing off on the other with Bucky enjoying a little bit of roughness and Steve learning to embrace comfort and a taste of luxury - now, Steve prods and pushes verbally while he does the same physically. He rubs big circles on his big tummy, presses into the parts where he's the tightest to release pockets of gas and make him more comfortable, giving him more room (that he often immediately fills with more food), and kneads his soft flesh, using lotion and oil to keep his flesh supple and stretch-mark free. He lets his mouth run, too.

In low tones, just for the two of them to hear, he murmurs roughly about how he's never had so much to work with. Bucky knows under those sugar-coated words, he's calling him fat. Then, he goes on to say that Bucky feels especially tense today, is there anything particular on his mind? That's Steve telling him he's bloated as fuck, just a bit of sting behind his "polite" tone to communicate, oh my fucking god, you're a blimp. Or, he asks how his tailor is doing, the vague way to ask how he fits into any clothes at all. It's a damn mystery to Steve, after all, he only ever sees Bucky when he's naked with all of his soft, pale, thick fat on display. Round. Firm. Ready to be massaged until he's not so tight he could burst which, to Bucky, means he's ravenous. Bucky has no understanding of hunger. He doesn't remember what it's like to be empty, so when he isn't gasping in pleasure and pain, so full that his stomach is strained and there's food packed into him all the way up his esophagus to the back of his throat, he thinks he's starving.

Bucky savors those comments in a way he doesn't savor food - he just shoves it down. More.

More.

Bucky starts eating even more, pushing himself further, to make sure he can see Steve regularly. Weirdly, for someone who's never needed a damn thing from anyone else, he aches to impress this guy. It's strange, how much he wants to preen and parade around. He makes even more of a gluttonous mess of himself just so Steve can come in and berate him underneath his professional, light tone. It's embarrassing. Bucky has never been able to deal with humiliation or shame or anything other than resounding acceptance because of his high status, so it's strange for him to go after it now but...

God, is it good.

Steve commenting on needing another set of hands to reach and work on all of Bucky's glutted tummy sends a shiver down his pinned spine in spirit, in reality, he can't fucking move. He's so fat. Bucky almost moans at the thought of more hands groping and kneading his fat, working his cramps and burps out of him, easing the way for those calories to smoothly transform into more fat but, strangely, he only wants Steve to do this. He's used to hiring more help, having so many people around him, watching and aiding him in even the most intimate, private moments. This feels too intimate to share, though. He just wants Steve's big, strong, rough hands on his fat. He wants it bad. So, of course, he gets it.

He feasts on multiple rich, large courses. Steve massages him. He snacks on foods that would be enough for a meal if he were anyone else. Steve massages him. He gorges until he's hiccuping, whining, and curled around his fat belly like he can hold himself together, preventing himself from bursting at the seams with too much, too good of food. Steve massages him. He wakes up, belly gurgling with digestion that he can delude into being hunger, so he stuffs himself late at night into early morning. Steve massages him. Steve massages him through it all, witnessing him at his fullest and watching, judging, as he packs on more and more weight.

Bucky has been drilled to follow etiquette and be polite, but with Steve, he slips. He's just so full. And Steve's so good at his job. He can't deny himself the pleasure of moaning and burping loudly as Steve works.

"Buuuurpp-"

"Hic! Ah! Oh! Hic! Ouch! Hic! Hup! Oww!"

"Ooooohhh, yess. That's good."

"Uuuuuuurp!"

"Yes! Right there, press there, it's so tight, oh, oww-"

"Hnnnn-"

"M-mmmph- more. More pressure. Yes! Like that! Oh-uuurp!"

"C-cahhh, careful, I'm, oof, I'm soo full. Mmngh, I might - hic! - pop!"

Steve might disguise his interest well under a judgy, almost resentful exterior - which is truthfully how he felt when he got here, like, look at this fat asshole, Steve grew up struggling with a single mother making tough decisions between feeding her child, buying the medicine her child needed badly, or keeping the heating on to keep her child from getting sicker, no good options and no compromises - but he is interested. Bucky is miles and miles of plush flesh that jiggles and ripples. So much for Steve to sink his hands into. He's just fat. That's all he is. Greedy and oversized. He deserves a little shit for it. It's fine. He can squeeze a little harder than necessary, he can relentlessly push down on the part of his tummy that hurts the most just to hear him groan through a painful yet releasing burp, he can see his face pinch in pain when Steve goads him into finishing the last scraps on his plate despite having called Steve in expressed because he's too full for more, he can make comments about how he's getting fatter, bigger, and more spoiled. He can snidely inquire if Bucky has gotten his bed reinforced yet or wonder out loud how his personal tailor keeps up with his expanding waistline, actually, how does his tailor measure his waistline these days? Does he have to make a custom tailors tape or have they given up on numbers by now? He can pretend to be a little weaker than he is, just for an excuse to call the other staff into Bucky's master bedroom, "needing" help with rolling his big, voluptuous body or sitting him up as much as possible under that heavy, fat belly that overflows his lap.

It's fine for Steve to look over his shoulder as he leaves, his job well done, to smirk like a shark at one food-drunk Bucky moaning through a bite of buttery, flaky pastry, telling him off, "haven't you had enough, Mr. Barnes?"

He's the only one willing to challenge Bucky. The other staffers suck in shocked breaths and duck their heads, embarrassed and trying to stay out of the way, assuming Steve's about to be fired. It's going to get ugly. Right?

But it doesn't.

Bucky likes it. His stomach is groaning - only barely soothed thanks to Steve, complaining with heavy sloshes, deep gurgles, and loud glorps - but Bucky doesn't care. All he cares about is more. More food, stuffing his gob. More of Steve's merciless touch, his mean words, and his judgemental eyebrows. More.

"Nu-uh," Bucky moans petulantly.

"Only you would think that," Steve's eyes flick down to his gut like the big, round thing is offensive, "isn't enough."

Bucky crams the rest of his pastry into his mouth, puffing out his cheeks and dusting crumbs down his double (closer to triple) chins and heaving moobs, it's a challenge.

Steve rises to it, stepping back into his bedroom to slap his blubbery belly hard.

Even though all the others have scuffled away, leaving the two of them alone, they must be able to hear the clap of his hand against his fat. That, or, they hear the guttural way Bucky moans. His white, pale flesh is stamped red with Steve's handprint.

"You just have to ruin my work, don't you?" Steve sneers, sitting on the side of the bed next to Bucky's immobilized form of rolls and curves, pinned in place by too much fattening, sugary food. "Nothing is ever good enough for you, so you just keep going, don't you? You're gonna pop, you know that, you fat, spoiled brat? You need to learn you have limits. You need to learn restraint. If you don't learn your lesson by yourself, you'll force my hand to teach it." Steve threatens, his hand raised again, on the cusp of slapping his tender, overstuffed tummy again.

Bucky whimpers, pouting at him, his bottom lip crumby and stuck far out, "don't need your help," he argues, mumbling, just to be contrary. He really does need him. He wants him too. So badly.

"You do, princess. You need me whether you like it or not," Steve teases. "You can't do anything by yourself, not with this-" Steve rears back to slap his belly hard a handful of times until Bucky's whimpering and squirming around like a turtle flipped onto its shell, inelegant and stuck "-in the way."

Bucky moans loudly. It hurts! But it hurts like it does when he pushes himself over his limits, his gut too full.

"I'm gonna put you on a diet," Steve threatens, "teach your spoiled, fat ass what restraint and hard work is the way Daddy and Mommy didn't, they just shoved a silver spoon in your mouth and called it a day 'cause you shut up."

It's terrible. It's awful. Bucky likes it.

"Please-!" The word falls out of Bucky's mouth for maybe the first time. He's Bucky Barnes. He doesn't beg. He has everything he wants and more! He's never had anything he had to plead for, he always just demands.

With one last hit right to the top of his belly, where the bulging is the worst, where he gets the tightest, Steve knows all too well, Steve leans in. His smile is all teeth. "Good boy," he rumbles, "that's a start. I might be able to whip you into shape after all, God knows you need some shape, too," he unkindly grabs a handful of fat, shaking it and thus sends jiggling ripples throughout Bucky's entire, fat body. He's all lard. "'Cause right now you're just a blob."

Bucky says it again, as it turns out, it feels good to say, "pleeease."

Steve gives him a dark look and despite what he was saying about shaping up and slimming down with a diet, he wastes no time reaching over to the tray of fine French pastries perched on Bucky's elegant nightstand, selecting one at random and shoving it into his face.

Bucky moans his way through every chew and swallow. With Steve's relentless force, massaging and now feeding, too, he's due for a growth spurt like he's never seen on his own. He's gonna outgrow his king-size bed in no time 🥵🥵

[sentientgolfball]

Ghoulette Appreciation: Week 1

I kicked the writer's block and was able to write the first prompt for @jesusbutbetterrr ghoulette months :3 I did a mix of start of something new and girl's night in

All the prompts I do are gonna be nothing but Mistshine! I'm taking this as an excuse to write for my favorite ghoulette pairing, but of course all of them will be making appearances :3

Word Count: 1937

Tags: ghoulette pile, drunk/high sex, Mist is intersex with a tentacle, transfem Sunshine

Summary: The band would be heading out on tour soon and the girls have their last Ghoulette Night before they're separated for months

Mist was one to usually keep to herself. They were quiet, reserved, preferring the calm silence over chaotic company. Some thought it was because she was cold, emotionless, and a bit of a prude. Others thought it was because she was too dangerous for even the other ghouls to be around them. The venomous barbs sheathed in their wrists were proof enough. 

That was the problem with humans, Mist thought, they never see the full picture. While some of their whispers had merit, they would never understand why. Mist was a deep sea water ghoul. Unlike your average ghoul of any variety really, the deep sea beasts were solitary in nature. The only time they’d see another of their kind that wasn’t immediate kin would be during the mating seasons. The only packs that existed were made up entirely of family, and even then those packs were minuscule. It was rare for deep-sea ghouls to have more than two kits. 

So yes, Mist could be described as cold and reserved, but it didn’t reflect all of her. Living on the surface taught her how nice it is to have packmates. To know that any of them would drop everything for her if she needed, and she’d do the same. Of course, as much as she cherishes each and every ghoul, that doesn’t change her basic nature. She still enjoys her alone time, needs it. They spend so much of their free time alone that they’re always a little surprised when ghouls come looking. 

It’s not often that they find themselves sitting on a lumpy bean bag in Cirrus and Cumulus’ room surrounded by the other ghoulettes and copious amounts of wine, weed, and self-care products. Mist would be lying if they said they didn’t enjoy these rare nights of pure indulgence. They’d let Cumulus and the newly summoned Aurora use her for makeup practice, they’d let them put whatever cream or lotion on her because it made them happy. Mist would let Cirrus keep her glass full of the wine she had Swiss steal from Terzo’s personal collection. They’d let Sunshine feed her a joint until she got bold enough to sit in their lap and shotgun. 

Mist would do the same for all of them. She’d bring the best food to complement the wine. She’d brush their hair and work knots out of their muscles with her rough hands. She’d give exactly as much as she’d take. 

Tonight’s Ghoulette Night was bigger than any they’d had recently. It was the last before Cirrus, Cumulus, and Aurora would be off on tour. The wine was the sweetest Swiss could get his claws on. The weed was harvested directly from Mountain’s personal store. Mist had even broken into the Ministry cellars to get their hands on the best meats and cheeses for the ghoulettes to snack on. It was a necessity, she had decided. 

Now they all sit in Cirrus’ nest, more than a little buzzed and lazily touching each other. 

“Fuck I’m gonna miss this” Sunshine sighs, resting her head on Mist’s shoulder. 

“Me too” Aurora giggles when Cumulus kisses behind her ear. 

“We can always make a shitty nest and drink shitty wine in the hotels” Cirrus chirps.

“No way! You guys aren’t allowed to do it without us!” Sunny sticks her tongue out and clings closer to Mist. 

Mist just hums and squeezes her waist. 

“Oh we’re still definitely drinking” Lus purrs “but it won’t be the same without everyone.” 

“I don’t wanna think about that. Don’t wanna think.” 

Sunny suddenly jolts from where she had been lounging against Mist. She crawls into her lap and Mist knows she’s grown impatient. It’s an unholy miracle it took this long for her to start this. Usually, when they’ve snatched Mountain’s weed they’re all wrapped around each other before a coherent conversation can be held. 

“Wow, Sunny I think that’s a new record for you” Cirrus laughs but starts to shift Aurora onto her lap. 

“Took you long enough” Cumulus slots herself behind Aurora, caging her in. 

Mist had to agree. They had been painfully waiting for Sunshine to make her move. It always started like this. They’d all relax and let the alcohol and smoke turn time to honey until one of them couldn’t take the anticipation anymore. It was usually Sunny, save for Aurora’s first Ghoulette Night. 

Mist loved the way Sunny would always cling to her first. No matter what they did to her, Sunny would always come back for more. Mist would be lying if she said it wasn’t addictive. With Sunny finally in their lap, they made their move. 

“This is for making me wait” she whispers low before sinking their fangs into the side of her neck. 

Sunny whines high-pitched, twitching her hips forward, dragging her cock against them. Mist squeezes her hips harder, feeling their tentacle start to poke out of its sheath. 

“‘M sorry” she squirms.

“No, you’re not” Mist tears Sunny’s crop top off. 

She just giggles and shrugs. 

On the other side of the nest, Cirrus is lying flat on her back as Aurora scoots closer and closer to her face. Cumulus has one hand under her skirt and another in Cirrus’ underwear. 

“Don’t look at them” Mist grabs her jaws and forces her attention “You only know me.”

They crash their lips together in an almost possessive manner. It's filthy instantly with tongue and fang licking and clacking together. Mist yanks at the short hairs around the nape of her neck pulling breathy little gasps from her. She slides her hands under the hem of Mist’s shorts, slowly starting to pull them down. 

“Lords below it has a mind of its own” Sunny giggles feeling their tentacle writhe against her fingertips. 

“You say that every time” Mist deadpans. 

“Whaaaat I think it’s hot how excited—“ 

She’s cut off by Mist tweaking both of her nipples. They drag the flat of their tongue over the scars under Sunny’s breasts before replacing a finger with her mouth. She sucks and nips at her tits until they’re decorated with purple and blue marks as deep as Mist’s eyes. Until she can feel Sunny’s cock kicking in her pants. 

Her eyes briefly flick when Aurora moans. Cirrus’ face is covered by the fabric of her skirt and her thighs. Aurora shakes, grinding down on her face. Cumulus is laying on her stomach, face buried in Cirrus. 

Mist's attention is drawn back when she feels warm fingers teasing her cunt. Sunny is grinning down where she has her hand shoved into her shorts, tentacle wrapping around her wrist to pull her closer. 

“I think it’s unfair you get to look at them but I don’t” she pouts, but slowly slides a finger inside of them. 

Mist grabs her wrist, yanking her hand away. They shove their shorts down enough to let their tentacle fully free before popping the button on Sunny’s pants and wiggling her out of them. She seats Sunny back on her lap, letting the tentacle probe curiously at her ass. 

“You’re right. It is unfair” she wraps a hand around Sunny’s cock right as the tip wiggles in “but I want all of you.” 

Sunshine squirms and whines as the tentacle slowly slides into her, wet and sticky with Mist’s slick. They squeeze the base of her cock and Sunny yelps. Mist does it again and again and again, pulling those pretty little sounds from her. 

They latch onto her neck, trailing bruising kisses up her throat. She licks into Sunny’s mouth tasting her sweet orange and vanilla flavor. Sunshine pants into her mouth as the tentacle writhes within her. Mist starts to jack her off, pressing a cruel finger to the underside of her head every time their fist passes over. 

Maybe it’s the wine. Maybe it’s the weed. Maybe it’s the noises of Cirrus, Cumulus, and Aurora. Maybe it’s just Mist, but Sunshine can already feel her balls drawing up as her cock spits pre.

Mist bites her bottom lip and trails wet opened mouth kisses up to her ear. They drag their tongue over the shell before biting the lobe. 

“Cum for me”  they whisper low. 

Sunny does. Hard. Everything is intense and floaty as she spills over Mist’s hand. Tears prick the corners of her eyes from the tentacle still moving inside her ass. Mist snickers, kissing across her collarbones. 

“Mist can we play? Pretty please?” 

They slowly unlatch from Sunshine and look down. Aurora, now completely naked, has crawled over to them. Her eyes are big, pleading, and a little red. Something inside Mist burns. She doesn’t understand why, it’s not like she dislikes Aurora. Quite the opposite actually, she thinks her bold nature is quite charming. But when Sunshine wiggles off of them at the call of Cirrus and Cumulus, the burn only intensifies. They make a mental note of this, something to examine later, before they push Aurora onto her back and climb between her legs. 

The tentacle immediately starts slipping into her cunt and Aurora giggles at the sensation.

“You didn’t let me have this last time.” 

Mist tears her gaze away from where Sunny is choking on Cumulus’ strap. 

“You were new. I didn’t want to frighten you.” 

“Please” she snorts, “it takes a lot to get me to crack.” 

Mist tilts their head with an eyebrow raised. 

“C’mon Mist I’ve heard the others talk. Give it to me.” 

“Hm. Not here. Not now.” 

“Why not?” She huffs. 

Mist leans forward, wrapping a hand around Aurora’s throat, and squeezes hard enough to make her gasp. 

“Because” they whisper “if I'm going to, I want you tied to my bed so I can break you.” 

Aurora’s eyes roll to the back of her head and she clenches hard around the tentacle. 

Mist tries to put all their focus on fucking Aurora, giving her a little something to think about as the tour starts up, but everything is clouded by the noises Sunny is making only a few feet away. Every gasp, whine, keen has a flash of heat coursing through her body. She doesn’t understand why though. They’ve been having these nights since the two air ghoulettes were summoned and not once has this happened before. 

She decides it’s the effects of Mountain’s weed, she was always a lightweight when it came to anything drugs. They shake it off and drop a hand to Aurora’s clit, circling it as they squeeze her neck. 

Aurora cums with Mist’s name on her tongue. They coax the tentacle out of her and help her sit up. She props her up, letting her lean against her as she snatches a nearby bottle of wine and offers her some. The two cuddle and pass the bottle back and forth as they watch Cirrus and Cumulus milk every last drop out of Sunshine’s cock. 

“You’re growling,” Aurora says sleepily. 

Mist hadn’t even realized. She stops herself immediately with a cough and swig. Sunshine cries out both of the air ghoulettes names and they nearly choke on the wine. That fire ignites in her belly again and now that she’s not buried to the hilt in Aurora she can place a name to that feeling. 

Jealousy. Possession. 

She wanted to be the one to get Sunny to cry like that. 

She didn’t want to hear another name roll out of her mouth. 

She was confused. Ghouls share everything, even the solitary deep-sea ghouls were strangers to monogamy. So why was Mist feeling this way watching Sunny be taken apart by someone who wasn’t her? 

This is new.

[gobbpodblog]

The mysterious menagerie known as the "Garden of Baffling Beasts (and other stuff)" has opened its doors to the public! It features all sorts of strange and bizarre creatures, both legendary and unheard of! Also weird plants, unusual rocks, and things arcane.

Intrepid reporter Jaggery "Jake" Howard has agreed to check it and make a documentary about this place. Join her as Garden employee Dr. Banitha Vermillian guides her on a tour!

[Content warnings for this episode include petrification (discussed), and construction noises.]

Cast and Crew: CawCawMarmalade (Any pronouns), Prinxe (fae/faer, it/its, and any cat-themed neopronouns) and TheMothReservoir (he/they or any masculine pronouns)

This pilot episode is released under a CC-By-NC-SA-licence

You can also find the full version of this and the other PodJam 2024 projects with your podcatcher of choice by searching for "Podcast Jam" or using this rss feed!

[kinsey3furry300]

My (very late) take on Ricky “Jupe” Park from Nope.

So, when I was a small child, my sister and I were taken to a local museum by my father and it was a wholesome and fun day out for all the family EXEPT FOR THE BADLY TAXIDERMIED WHALE SHARK HANGING FROM THE CEALLING MY GOD WHAT WAS THAT THING?! It was huge, it looked and smelt terrible, the room was poorly lit and crowded and decorated to look like the bottom of the sea and you had this thing with it’s huge open maw hanging right over you all the time. I distinctly remember that I couldn’t look. I could not look. Between the, the ocean episode of walking with dinosaurs, the underwater segment of myst, and fucking books like this that were everywhere in the 90’s!

Fuck you Nigel Marven and Jasper James, Fuck you.

…both me and my sister developed a lifelong fear of being eaten alive by giant, aquatic-type monsters. And because it was advertised and a film about a brother and sister fighting off little green men, and not advertised as a film where 40 people get fucking vored by a flying Portuguese man of war, me and my sister saw Nope together in the cinema and ohhh boy 1, did I catch shit from her about it, to this day, and 2, while I love that film, it scared the shit out of me. It scared me so badly I tried not to think about it until I plucked up the courage to re-watch it this weekend.  So I’m a little late to the party, but speaking on behalf of people terrified of being gobbled up by ever-present sky-sharks (you know they’re there prove me wrong!), I’d like to talk about Jupe.

How was this not a best Supporting Actor win? Give him all the awards!

I’ve seen a surprising amount of commentary say that he’s an idiot for endangering and getting all those people killed, and that he deserves his fate, and while there is a little element of truth to the first part, I can’t fathom the second. One, no, no one deserves that and two… Do, do you guys know how story strucure works? Jupe is a foil for OJ. His life and arc mirrors OJ to a surprising degree: they’re both people of colour working in a white-dominated Hollywood system who have been held back by, or are stereotyped because of, their race. They both witness “a bad Miracle” that’s starts with a strange popping/crunching noise (the balloon for Jupe, Jean Jacket regurgitating indigestible items above them for OJ), that results in death, where a seemingly imposable thing happens (a coin falls from an empty sky, a shoe balances perfectly on one end) and where they are spared death because they don’t look the danger in the eye (Jupe has the table cloth between him and the chimp, OJ looks around whereas Ottis senior looks up and so is hit in his unprotected eye), and are traumatized. Both deal with the trauma badly, and surround themselves with constant reminders of it (Jupe’s Gordy shrine, OJ’s horses and ranch. I mean he keeps the fucking coin!). Both try to commodify and sell their trauma for fame and fortune (the paid tours of the Gordy shrine, getting that “Oprah shot”). Both also want to use Jean Jacket to reclaim the heritage that the film and TV industry has taken from them (OJ wants to save the ranch and memorialize his family’s role in the invention of film, Jupe wants to be remembered for the Starlight Lasso and not just as that Asian kid who survived a chimp attack, for taming the beast, not just surviving it). Both unwittingly train JJ to attack humans (Jupe by teaching it to associate people and music with food, OJ by putting it off horsemeat by feeding it a decoy). Both are a bit greedy, and kind of disrespectful to the dead, and nether Get Out (couldn’t resist sorry) when they should. Both put their family, friends and strangers in danger to get their payday, and both get at least one person killed doing it.

So why does the film kill Jupe and his family in such a hilariously awful way, but spare OJ and Em (and Angel: we love you Angel)? What’s Jupes fatal flaw, that greek tragic hubris that dooms him and that separates him from OJ? Why is he the one who gets vored by an angry stetson? Is it a eat the rich narrative? A critique of the idea of Asian Americans as the “Ideal minority?”. Is it killing off the comic relif, or just done for shock value? No, I don’t think Jordan Peele would be that heavy handed or un-imaginative. I think it’s something far more clever.

It’s this: from an early age, Jupe was trained to perform, whereas OJ was trained to handle performing horses. OJ thinks about how to safely provide the spectacle, whereas Jupe was trained to be the spectacle. OJ communicates with Angel in clicks and gestures without realising: OJ’s internalised how to talk to horses, how to use body-language. But Jupe...His plan, upon finding out that there’s a UAP flying around his home is to build and stage and make it into a rodeo attraction. That’s not a sane person’s reaction, that’s how Homer Simpson would try and Monetize first contact with alien life. That’s how Peter Griffin or BoJack Horseman would treat ET…. That how a 90’s sitcom character, who never got over that one role, would treat the situation.

Every time a name is mentioned in the chapter titles of Nope, the living being it refers to dies… except the title card “Lucky.” The horse (so long as the final shot is real and not Em hallucinating) lives. It (and OJ) makes it out. But then again….

Jupe probably thought of himself as Lucky, after the Gordy incident. He was probably told time and time again that he was Lucky, until he internalized it. He learnt the wrong lessons from the experience, he learnt that he not only needed to perform, but that he was special. “You’re’ chosen.” He learnt that he needed to perform, to be a spectacle, to survive a horrible industry that swallows people whole and chews them up and spits them out and occasionally has animal control shoot its stars dead if they go of script. He was conditioned, and trained, from an early age to treat everything that ever happened to him as part of a performance, until he can only talk about his own trauma in terms of how good the SNL take on it was.

And like every other trained living being taken from their natural habitat and forced out on stage as spectacle in this film, his training fails him at the worst possible time.

He’s “Lucky”, and he’s tragic, and he’s just another victim of spectacle, and that’s the scariest part of the film. ...Other than the FUCKING MURDER PANCAKE IN THE SKY OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!?