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Sometimes at work it's not my place to tell people the things I want to say, and I find I often go home at the end of the rougher days to stand blankly in my shower and tell myself over and over what I wish I could pass on.
This accomplishes very little, and mostly just gives me a tension headache, but through it all I think I've narrowed myself down to a few solid things I'd like to tell people the most.
You can't change people. Not permanently, not for anythig. You can support them, encourage them, love them, give them tools and opportunities and resources, but you can't make them change. They can change themselves if they want to, but they have to want to, and they have to want it for themselves, because they're the only one that's certain to be with them forever.
For better or worse, you make your own choices, and blaming bad choices on others doesn't only work to absolve you of responsibility- it also robs you of control. Because if you say you only did something because I did something, then you arent only shifting blame- you're admitting that you cannot control yourself, that you cannot truly make choices for yourself, that other people can control you- and as long as you truly beleive that, you'll keep facing the same problems over and over. You'll keep letting others dictate your choices, because you'll beleive that they can, and you'll never be free.
White knights on horseback are from fairytales. Nobody can help you if ou're not willing to help yourself. To try, to put the dirty work in, to belive you're worth that effort- Act as though nobody is coming to save you. From a struggle, from pain, from bad relationships, from yourself. And when you do save yourself, because you will, because failure here isn't an option if you want to survive, you'll never find another dragon that can keep you prisoner.
Don't say anything to anyone that you wouldn't want them remembering forever.
Doing the right thing in bad circumstances is hard. It's the hardest thing. But if you make the choice to do that hard thing anyways, despite your fear, you'll go on the rest of your like knowing that you're the sort of person who did something.
The present only seems the hardest because the past I over and the future hasn't happened.
There's so much joy ahead of you, the kind you can't possibly understand until you see it yourself.
The responsibility of consequences is often disguised as the power of permission. "I won't do this if you help me", "I'll work on my anger if you do this for me", "I promised you I'd quit, but can I have just one?". The unspoken question is, "Can it be your fault if this goes badly?"
You cant make someone love you the way you need to be loved. Someone can love you very much and still be bad for you, even if you love them very much in return. Two people can love each other very, very much, and try their very best, and still be wrong for each other.
Sometimes being near to someone changes you, even in good ways, and the people you become don't fit together as well as the people you were.
Caring takes work. Even if it's real. Especially if it's real. And the most important gestures aren't the grand, poetic, songs-and-flowers-and-tears moments; they're getting out of bed even though you don't want to. Paying attention to things you don't enjoy. Scrubbing pans, or opening a window, saying "thank-you", or helping carry groceries into the house. The small things fill the big things- without the small, boring, mediocre things, big things feel hollow.
Thrre is honour and dignity in humble work.
If you are a cruel and spiteful person, then you will find every place you visit to be full of the same cruel, spiteful people. This is not because the world is as cruel as you, but because everywhere you are, you will be disliked. This is the curse that comes with being persistently cruel and spiteful.
If you are a kind and ppsitive person, you will repeatedly encounter kind and positive people, because as they grow familiar with you, they will be happier to have you near. This is the reward of being a kind and positive person.
When splitting paths with loved ones, briefly or forever, aim for your last words to always be "I love you".
#I'm still so young and ignorant#but I wish someone had told ME these things before I had to learn them#And now when shit goes south and everything is over and calm again the same things just roll though my head#Over and over and over#It's like everyone I meet has the same 3 problems and its ruining their lives#I just want to take everyone I meet by the shoulders and shake them#I KNOW why this is happening to you#Do you realize you can be better?#Do you realize you can do it?#Aren't you terrified of wasting your life like this?#*I* want to be happier#*I* used to be so much worse than I am#And I don't have it all figured out#But if we all decide to help ourselves then it'll be that much easier to help each other#Right?#It's so hard to lift dead weight#You need to kick against the waves with me#You need to WANT to float#Do you understand#Ugh it's 6am#This has been your overdramatic midnight ramble#Imma grill me a cheese and go back to bed#Blaurfhgh
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ok simon and his mail order bride live rent-free in my head now and, like, what i wanna know is what their anniversaries look like? not just their one year anniversary, but also their fifth or tenth? how does it change as they settle into that deep comfortability that comes with being with someone a long time? -391780
this piece i still consider canon mail-order bride, but i see it almost as an extra than a continuation of the current story since it is very much in the future of that timeline. <3
mail-order bride
it's difficult to see the potential of something so mangled. sometimes things are so worn out and so used that they don't reflect what their purpose was. instead of function, they see flaw. instead of value, they see waste.
sometimes you wonder if that's what they saw in you. sometimes you wonder if that's why you were given to him.
that's what they made him. simon was a tortured dog they let loose. they saw value, but only what was left, and perhaps they thought something like you might help them squeeze just that little bit more out of him. one more year. one more op.
the sunlight wakes you up. you forgot to pull the blinds, but when you see simon sleeping peacefully next to you, it's worth it to be up so early. you know as soon as you move, he will wake, so you keep still for just a few more minutes.
today marks ten. he doesn't look much older. he seems to have stopped aging ever since you asked him to put in his papers.
like always, as soon as you sit up, simon blinks awake. he's bleary, but conscious, and when your eyes meet, you smile at him. he lifts his big hand and rubs your back gently. you don't speak any words so early in the morning, but you don't have to. there isn't much to say when the love of your life loves you, and you love them back.
you push the blankets off, giggling when you reveal the black and orange balls of fur that blink up at you. they almost seem irritated that you interrupted their sleep, snuggled in the heat that simon radiated. they'll just have to deal with it.
you drag your hand down simon's leg wordlessly. you hear his deep breaths from behind, and you reach into your bedside table to press a little balm into your hand before spreading the ointment across his knee and under it. you work it into the muscles nice and slow; any faster, and simon will hitch his breath in pain, and you'll have to start over.
you kiss his knee before laying back down, settling into his side, and you lift up your left hand, wiggling your fingers knowingly at him before looking up towards his face. he smiles down at you sleepily, raising his hand to cup your fingers.
"still love me?" you ask softly, and simon pretends to think about.
"mmm..." he rumbles. "still love ya."
"but do you still like me?"
"more everyday."
the first few years were spent trying to play catch-up. fancy dinners, expensive gifts, handwritten letters that could've been novels to try and stuff the love you have for each other all in one night. they were all wonderful; you think about those nights all the time, and you cherish the gifts he's given you like they are a part of you, but today feels different.
today might not be just another day, but it's just as special as yesterday. and the day before that. and the day before that.
when it's time to really wake up, you let simon guide you. he walks easy, barely a limp, and he sits you down at your vanity to help you do your hair as you add your serums and moisturizers. he's good with that brush, running it through gently, parting your hair the way you like so he can tie it up. he'd braid your hair if you asked him to (he said it wasn't unlike all the knots he knows how to tie--and he meant it, no one dutch braids like him), but you know your show came out last night, and you want to watch them with the scones you have proofing in the fridge.
he makes the coffee and tea while you set the scones in the oven. you fill the cat's bowls while he cleans out the water fountain. it's wordless, the morning routine, but you like the times when you brush by him. when your arm runs against his. when your hands bump going for the same cabinet. when he leans down as he passes you, kissing along your jaw before he keeps walking.
bliss. fucking bliss.
he's waiting for you in the living room once you pull the scones out of the oven. your coffee sits on the table on its coaster, in your favorite mug, and he's under your blanket as he flips through the tv. he already knows what you'll want to watch, and you bite back your smile when you notice him typing it into the search bar because he didn't see it when he scrolled past (you keep telling him to wear his glasses, but he'll never listen).
you take a seat next to him, thumbing at his cheek, and he takes a scone off the plate before biting into it. he smiles when he tastes chocolate, looking at you knowingly, and you reach for his hand as you settle against his chest.
you used to be mangled, too. a mess. pretty on the outside, dying on the inside. all fried wires, a traumatized animal, learned behavior of relieve and appease that kept you out of trouble and out of sight.
you have never seen simon this way. and simon has never seen you this way. no hopeless potential. no wasted space. no diminishing value.
i matter because you matter. you matter because i matter.
hidden, not broken. disguised, not incomplete. you did not have jagged edges, only armor that you tried to put up to protect yourself.
you tip your head back to look up at him, and when he cups your jaw to stare back at you, you're relieved by what you see in his eyes.
ten years. it will be nothing like forever. it will be nothing like your next life, nor like the life after that. it's comforting to know what home looks like. maybe you will recognize it the way you recognized it in this life.
no, that can't be it.
you recognized it because it had already happened. in some other time, in some other place, you were sitting where you sit now, looking at simon the way you look at him now.
you knew who he was before you even met him, and you will know who he is when you meet him again.
#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#ghost mw2#ghost cod#ghost call of duty#ghost mwii#ghost x reader#cod#call of duty#order up
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theodore nott x reader who has never had her first kiss
The air in Theo’s room was always a strange blend of comfort and unspoken boundaries. Tonight, the two of you lay side by side on his bed, sinking into the quiet, but somehow, you felt like talking. You always did.
Love. You didn’t expect Theo to ever be the kind to entertain the conversation, but tonight he humored you, perhaps sensing the need in your voice. He’d grumble and roll his eyes, but you knew deep down he didn’t mind listening to you ramble about your latest romanticized dream. This was your ritual: you’d talk, he’d tease, but he'd always listen.
"So, do you believe in love at first sight?” you asked, trying to catch a glimpse of the expression on his face.
Theo gave a small, almost imperceptible sigh. “You know I don’t.”
“You don’t believe in any of it?” You tried to keep the surprise out of your voice; maybe it was foolish, but some part of you always hoped to change his mind.
He turned his head slightly to look at you, a wry smirk on his face. “I’ll leave the ‘hopeless romantic’ bit to you, I think.”
“Fine,” you mumbled, turning your gaze up to the ceiling with a sigh.
The comfortable silence fell between you again, but it wasn’t long before Theo broke it. “You’re quiet,” he murmured. “That’s not like you. Something on your mind?”
You stayed silent, tracing a line in the ceiling with your eyes, wondering how much to tell him. “Just… thinking about things.”
He nodded, but his gaze was fixed on you, waiting. "Thinking about what?"
“You know, just… love, and all.” You gave a slight, half-hearted shrug.
“Hm,” he said, voice low, as if considering it. “You’ve never told me about your first kiss.”
Your heart plummeted. The conversation had taken an abrupt turn, one you dreaded. Any time someone brought up their first kisses, you’d dodge it with a laugh, brush it off, and no one ever asked further. But Theo wasn’t just anyone. He had a way of looking through you, of uncovering all the little things you tried to keep buried.
You swallowed and felt your pulse quicken, deflecting on instinct. “You’ve already told me about yours. Daphne, right?”
Theo’s face softened just a little, an almost imperceptible shift. “Yeah… Daphne.” He glanced away, a small smile pulling at the corner of his mouth as he remembered. It was in the past, long over, and yet he spoke with a warmth that you envied.
Your chest ached, wishing—no, yearning—to be thought of that way, spoken about with fondness. Not necessarily by Theo… but by someone, anyone. You wanted that moment for yourself, that cherished memory.
Theo seemed to drift off in thought, but after a moment, he turned to you again, his voice cutting through the quiet. “But you… you never told me about yours.”
The world felt as though it shrank, pulling inward to the space between you two. There was a lump in your throat, an ache that refused to let you speak. You couldn’t lie to him, not Theo. If you tried, he’d see through it in a second. But admitting the truth hurt.
You closed your eyes and took a slow breath. “Never had one,” you whispered, barely able to force the words out. And you could feel the hurt echoing back at you, filling the silence with something you couldn’t ignore.
Theo didn’t say anything for a moment, but you could feel his surprise, his mind working through your words, seeing the quiet ache in them. His response was gentle. “That’s alright.”
Your eyes stung, and you blinked rapidly, trying to push the tears back. “It’s not, Theo. It’s really not… and you know it.”
The tears slipped free, tracing cold lines down to the pillow. You turned your head to face the ceiling, letting the shadows of your thoughts spill over. You couldn’t hold it in anymore, the ache, the envy that had been hidden away, and so, in a soft voice, you spoke, letting all those feelings you’d kept buried flow.
“It’s… everyone else has already had theirs,” you began, your voice breaking on the words. “Pansy, Draco, Blaise… even Enzo.” A quiet laugh slipped out, humorless and bitter. “Everyone’s got their stories… Matt, Daphne, Astoria… all of them. It’s like… like I’m waiting for something that just isn’t meant for me.”
Theo didn’t respond, and in the silence, you kept going, unable to stop yourself. “I hate it, Theo. I hate how I feel like I’m always waiting, watching everyone else… just wanting someone to think of me that way.” The words tumbled out as your tears continued to spill, staining the pillow beneath you.
“I just…” you closed your eyes, your voice a whisper, barely audible. “I don’t want to be left behind. I want something like that, too… I just don’t want to feel like I’m not enough.”
The silence stretched, but in it, you felt something shift. Theo moved, lying on his side, and you could feel his eyes on you, a warmth in them you hadn’t expected.
Finally, he spoke, his voice soft and steady. “You’re not left behind, you know. You’re not forgotten or… not enough. And you’re not alone.”
You turned your head slightly to look at him, your vision blurry with tears. He was close, so close you could see the sincerity in his gaze. It was there, plain and quiet, and it made your heart ache in a different way.
“I… I don’t want to feel this way,” you whispered, barely able to hold his gaze.
Theo reached out, brushing a tear from your cheek with his thumb, lingering for a heartbeat longer than necessary. “Then maybe I can help with that.”
There was a pause, your breath catching as his words sunk in, the implication both terrifying and thrilling. Your eyes met his, a silent question passing between you, and then, with the smallest nod from you, he closed the space between you, pressing his lips gently to yours.
It was soft, and somehow, in that single moment, all the ache and insecurity faded away, replaced by something warm, something steady. He was gentle, careful, and you could feel him holding back, letting you set the pace, letting you decide. When he finally pulled back, he stayed close, his forehead resting against yours, your breaths mingling.
“I’d like that,” you whispered, a smile tugging at your lips as you let yourself sink into the comfort he offered, feeling, for the first time, whole and seen.
this IS a self-indulgent fic
#theodore nott angst#theodore nott fluff#theodore nott x reader#thedore nott x reader#theo nott x reader#theo nott#theodore nott#ivy's soft scribbles ೀ
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U-20 Japan National Team Match Just Before the Game: A Day in Daily Life at Blue Lock.
Isagi: "I styled my hair. The little sprout on top of my head looks great today! Just then, Bachira came up and said, "Harvest ♪" while grabbing it tightly. No matter how much I tried to escape, he kept holding on. I resigned myself to it and let him grip it for a while until he got bored and went off somewhere. What a free spirit!"
Gagamaru: "There’s no nature inside Blue Lock. I wanted to see trees and flowers. Anything would be fine. Just something green. While I was looking around, I found Otoya. His bangs are green, so when I stared at him, he said, "Not into guys."
Aryū: "Little by little, the Blue Lock folks are starting to get a taste of 'Osha.' But in truly 'Osha' moments, people shine. I swear here that one day I’ll show that!"
Niko: "I was caught washing my forehead by Aryū-kun. It was embarrassing. But he taught me, 'Embarrassment is an important emotion that makes us human.' I became interested in Aryū-kun. I want to know a little more about this 'Osha' thing."
Chigiri: "I fell asleep while drying my hair. There’s no one here to wake me up. My hair is long, so it takes a while. Maybe I'll cut it next summer."
Bachira: "When I was walking around n*k*d, Karasu scolded me! Otoya joined me in being n*k*d ♪ Isagi... treated me the same as always! It seems he’s gotten tired of making remarks at my n*k*dn*ss. What a strange guy."
Karasu: "I found myself in the bath with Hiori. We didn't really have a conversation, but that was perfectly fine. I think we were both comfortable with it. It was great to see him looking well. I'm glad we had the chance to meet again."
Nagi: "I ate alone. I did the laundry by myself. I’ve become able to train on my own. I'm proud of myself. Changing is fun, but it can also be a hassle and a little lonely. Still, I think it's an important thing."
Otoya: "I contacted some girls I know on my smartphone after a long time. Most of them didn’t respond. It turns out that not keeping in touch regularly really does make girls dislike you. On to the next one! Woohoo ♪"
Yukimiya: "I talked about various things with Nagi-kun. Like the things we like, and how we've managed to get this far. It seems that for Nagi-kun, the existence of Isagi is significant. It's a story that doesn't really concern me, but having a rival like that feels nice somehow."
Rin: "When I woke up in the morning, my left lower eyelash was turned inside out and it hurt my eye. It happens sometimes, right? Bedhead with lower eyelashes. Huh? Is it just me? My brother said he has it... Oh, don't remind me of that guy. What a terrible wake-up!"
Hiori: "I trained with Isagi-kun. I sent in crosses, and Isagi-kun delivered a direct shot. With each one, he practices with intention and communicates well. He’s a smart type. He’s a bit like Karasu, too. I don’t dislike Isagi Yoichi."
Reo: "I ate alone and trained alone. It’s been a while since I did anything by myself. I can live on my own, but I dream of things I can’t do alone. I have to change. It’s not over yet. Someday, I’ll do it once more."
Barou: "I touched up the "X" shave on my temple. One line represents my murderous intent towards others, and the other represents my murderous intent towards myself. What’s that? Don’t look at me, you stinky guy (Nagi). It’s not a mark saying to give me a headshot here!"
Igaguri: "My hair had gotten long, so I asked Shidou to cut it with clippers, and he ended up giving me a heart-shaped bald spot on the back of my head. Love Amida Buddha…"
Ishikari: "I suddenly felt like playing basketball, so I asked Anri-chan for a basketball. I gathered some people randomly, and it turned out Kiyora was surprisingly really good. Basketball is so much fun!"
Kurona: "Good morning, good morning. Hello, hello. Good night, good night. Greetings are important, very important. It’s a given, but it’s precious. Everyone’s everyday life, everyday life."
Kiyora: "For dinner today, should I have croquettes or minced cutlets? My heart is 50% 50%. I feel like both choices are correct, but I also think I’d regret whichever one I choose. Alright. I’ll eat both. ………………………… Damn, I ate too much and my stomach hurts. Should I lie down or go to the bathroom? The borderline starts again."
Zantetsu: "It's better to brush your teeth properly every day, I told everyone. They replied, 'You should study more.' Well, if you get a cavity, don't say I didn't warn you!"
Tokimitsu: "I was saying, 'I lack confidence. I want confidence,' when Karasu-kun teased me, saying, 'It was just lying in the bathroom earlier, right?' Ugh… come on, don’t mess with me for real… Well, I went to check the bathroom anyway… but of course, it wasn’t there! Uwaaa!"
Nanase: "I washed my headband. When I put it in the dryer, it shrank a lot... what should I do? For now, I just wore it as it was that day. My head felt 'juri juri' (itchy)... Oh, I mean it felt 'zuki zuki' (throbbing). There goes my dialect again! Hehe, sorry about that!"
Hiiragi: "I used my hobby of tarot cards to predict my future. The 'Devil' card came up… Well, it's just a fortune-telling, right? Nothing to worry about! Right?"
Raichi: "I got really into a sideburns talk with Ishikari! His sideburns are pretty good, but mine are definitely cooler! In the end, we ended up arguing about it!"
Shidou: "I woke up. My mind feels clear. Yeah, it’s a good start today. In the afternoon, my body feels energized. I can sense my cells buzzing with excitement. At night, my heart feels restless. I’m sure something will happen tomorrow. I want to experience this night, knowing I can sleep with that thought, over and over again."
Ego: "Anri-chan was drooling and sleeping at her desk. She should sleep in her own room. Well, I decided to show a little concern for her. With this, she’ll probably listen to me for a while again. Kindness has its intentions. That’s how humans are."
Anri: "I was given an assignment by Ego-san to come up with ideas to make the existence of the Blue Lock better known to the world. Since that day, I've been stressed and having strange nightmares. Damn it… I want to sleep well! I’ll do my best!"
source: Egoist Bible 2
#blue lock#isagi yoichi#bachira meguru#chigiri hyouma#gagamaru gin#nagi seishirou#itoshi rin#barou shouei#mikage reo#karasu tabito#shidou ryuusei#yukimiya kenyuu#otoya eita#hiori you#niko ikki#nanase nijiro#kurona ranze#kiyora jin#igarashi gurimu#aryuu jyubei#tokimitsu aoshi#raichi jingo#ego jinpachi#anri teieri#ishikari yukio#hiiragi reiji#character: all#trivia#our translation
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CARING FOR THE SICK PROMPTS.
i found this list and kinda fed into it each time i got the flu or a migraine, and u know what, it's just me revealing just how much i love the caring threads and the soft threads and the fondly exasperated "let me help you" threads! use at your pleasure, DO NOT ADD TO THE LIST NOR EDIT IT! i will be changing it accordingly!
" i found you passed out in the kitchen. you wanna stop working yourself so hard? or do i need to keep hitting the gym to carry you to bed every day? "
" you're burning up. "
" your neighbour called me and said you could use a nurse. looks like they were right, too. "
" you were told to take it easy, so... yeah. this is kinda on you. "
" you took a sick day. you NEVER take a sick day. so yeah, i got worried, and i figured i'd come over and keep an eye on you. "
" you texted me a long and incoherent text that held about 90% of the emoji list and about four different languages. figured it wouldn't hurt to drop by and see how you were doing. "
" how long have you been sick for? and don't lie. "
" you look like hell. "
" i brought you some soup; let me heat some up for you? "
" okay. it's time you went to the hospital. "
" hey… hello there, sleeping beauty. you gave me a bit of a scare yesterday. how are you feeling? "
" i swear, if you even think of getting out of that bed… "
" you know when i said to call if it's an emergency? a fever is most DEFINITELY considered an emergency! "
" if you think you're going to work like this, you better think again. "
" don't worry. my family swears by this remedy; just let it work its magic and you'll feel good as new in no time. "
" I don't care about getting sick. i'm not leaving you until you're back to full health. "
" you didn't stop to think that this might happen when you're burning the candle at both ends? "
" yeah, I can play the role of nurse AND say "I told you so" at the same time, actually. "
" you better drink every last drop of this tea, no matter how disgusting it is. "
" i told my boss it was an emergency so they've given me a full week to look after you. "
" quit being so stubborn and get into BED! "
" what part of doctor's orders hasn't sunk in yet? bed rest! for the WEEK! "
" right, where do you keep your saucepans? i'm going to make you my famous noodle soup. it's a cure-all, i'm telling you! "
" hey, unless you're going to the bathroom or the sofa, I don't want to see you out of that bed. got it? "
" when are you gonna start letting people look after you, huh? "
" i know, i know, i turned off all the lights once i figured you had the migraine. you want some tea? water? "
" don't be mad, but i saw your fridge, and... it frightened me. so i've taken you back to my place, and i'm gonna get deliveroo to bring some groceries to your place tomorrow. okay? "
" i know your appetite is a little off, so i ordered in a whole tonne of options. just try a little bit of something, please? for me? "
" i've brought half a pharmacy, enough movies and boardgames to last us a decade, and every single snack i could fit into the basket at the grocery store. so sit your butt down, eat your soup, and try and make the most of your bed rest for the next week, will you? "
ACTION PROMPTS ( SEND THE FULL LINE! and feel free to reverse if u wish! ):
[ TOUCH ]: sender gently rests a hand against the receiver's forehead to check their temperature.
[ DAMP ]: sender presses a cool cloth against the receiver's face, neck and forehead to try and lower their fever.
[ BLANKET ]: sender wraps another blanket around the receiver to try and stop them from shivering.
[ SPOON ]: sender gently coaxes spoons of soup into the receiver's mouth to build up their strength after an illness.
[ CARRY ]: sender, finding the receiver weakened/unconscious on the floor, immediately lifts them up and carries them back to bed.
[ AROUND ]: sender keeps a protective arm around the receiver to help them walk without the risk of stumbling or collapsing.
[ STAY ]: sender decides to stay by the receiver's bedside after learning that they're sick.
[ HAIR ]: sender smooths back the receiver's hair in a soothing gesture to try and help them go back to sleep.
[ TILT ]: sender tips a bottle of water up for the receiver to sip from.
[ HUM ]: sender hums/sings to soothe a sick receiver back to sleep.
[ BACK ]: sender gently rubs the receiver's back, either to soothe them or warm them while they're unwell.
[ SHARE ]: sender climbs into the receiver's sickbed with them, wrapping their arms around them to offer warmth and comfort.
[ SHOWER ]: sender, learning the receiver has a high fever, takes a cold shower with them in order to lower their temperature.
[ WAKEN ]: the receiver wakes up in bed, having been found unconscious by the sender and carried into the bed from the floor.
[ QUARANTINE ]: the sender and receiver, both being sick, decide to quarantine together and spend the recovery period with each other.
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Omg have you done girldad!Soobin head cannons yet?
GIRL DAD!SOOBIN HEADCANONS !
𝜗𝜚 ㅤ― [ choi soobin x reader ] sfw , fluff . parent au , dad soobin , mom reader , mentions of pregnancy and birth , tooth rotting fluff
a/n ⸝⸝ no i haven’t yet… but i will now !!!! i hope you enjoy~~
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦
soobin is the ultimate girl dad and nothing will ever change my mind about this ! his little girls are his everything and he would lay his life down in an instant for them
his daughters r such daddy’s girls he’s always the favorite parent lol !! he dotes on them and can’t ever tell them no the get absolutely whatever they want !
husband and father soobin with three daughters and a son .. his son looks just like him and is so shy and sweet ! his daughters always play with him as if he was their sister lol
letting his daughters put bows and barrettes in his hair, slather glittery makeup on his face, put a tiara on his head and make him play tea party or house with them. he’s always the dog.
him and his wife being the only two people who can tell their identical twin daughters apart and getting pissed when one is mistaken for the other. like wdym you can’t tell which is which??? starts color coding his twins so others can tell them apart 😭
he’s such a sap for his kids but he couldn’t care less , he loves them so much :( always there to support them in whatever they’re doing no matter what his schedule is, he would literally rather die than miss his kids dance recital
coming home from running errands to see both your daughter and your husband crying at the dinner table over math homework
he wasn’t very good in school so he’s extra impressed when his kids get good marks :) feels a little competitive with tyun because tyuns kids are just as genius as he is lol
he can’t stand being away from his kids :( take a child free weekend trip with him and he’s spending the entire time talking about how much he misses his babies :( always buying them gifts everywhere he goes they have sooo many toys and things because he just can’t help himself
taking naps with his kids :( soob passed out on the couch with two daughters on his chest, another daughter in his lap, his son wrapped around his leg 😭
#i’m soft#lia’s soft hours ☁️#txt x reader#txt soft thoughts#txt soft hours#txt fluff#soobin x reader#soobin soft thoughts#soobin soft hours#soobin fluff
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Halcyon - Ch. 18: I Fucking Heard You
You and Joel adjust to life apart. A continuation of Halcyon from the prologue through Ch. 17, a modern no outbreak AU TLOU fic found on Tumblr here.
Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader
Warnings: Angst. Modern No Outbreak AU, No use of Y/N, Slow burn, 18+ only, Minors DNI
Length: 8.3k
AO3 | Main Master List | Prologue | Previous Chapter
January, 2008
He was going to actually do it this time.
Joel was sitting outside your apartment building, drumming against the steering wheel of his truck, desperate to work out some of the anxious energy that kept building and building inside of him.
But he just couldn’t keep it to himself anymore, he was done trying to pretend like he didn’t love you. He was going to say it.
Actually say it.
For real this time.
He’d ignored it as long as he could manage, shoved it down and tried to kill it by going out with practically every girl in school for even longer. He didn’t want to ruin things between the two of you, he was terrified of that more than he was of just about anything else. You mattered more to him than anyone, he couldn’t lose you, especially not to his own stupidity. But he couldn’t keep how he felt separate from your friendship, either. He loved you so much he felt like he was choking on it, like it had to go somewhere outside of himself or he was going to lose his damn mind with it.
So he’d finally worked up the courage to tell you. Rip the bandaid off. Maybe it wouldn’t blow up in his face, maybe… maybe you’d tell him you felt the same way. Maybe you’d grab him and kiss him the way he pretended you would when he thought about you when he was alone. Maybe you’d tell him you changed your mind about going across the country, maybe you’d go to college here in Austin and you’d move in together and he’d get to be next to you all the time.
This, he decided, was the perfect night for it. There was a meteor shower he’d heard about on the news and he talked you into going to the park to watch it. It seemed right, telling you this with the whole galaxy stretched out in front of you. Things were changing tonight. He could feel it.
He watched as you more fell than climbed out of your window, landing in the bushes and clumsily pulling yourself free of them before dashing to his truck.
“What are you wearin’ Goldie Girl?” He teased as you got in, the collar of a second sweatshirt visible below your hoodie, the sleeves unusually bulky.
“What!” You asked, brows raised. “It’s January! It’s cold! And… I couldn’t risk waking up my mom by going to the coat closet for my jacket.”
Joel snorted.
“I’m counting on you to keep me warm out there, Miller,” you said, buckling up as Joel started driving, his heart beating out a frantic rhythm against his ribs. “This whole thing was your idea.”
“I got blankets,” he said. “Not gonna let you freeze.”
As he drove, the two of you caught up on everything that had happened in the few hours it had been since you’d last seen him - no time at all, really, but it always dragged for Joel. It seemed like he was always just marking time until he got to see you again. He was almost always with you until curfew. Then, awake for an hour, sleep for eight, wake up and then just an hour before he was at your door again, picking you up to take you to school. Then it was three and a half hours until lunch - which you always had with him - then just an hour until your single shared class - newspaper, which he’d joined to make you happy - and then two hours until school was done and he was with you again.
You told Joel about Anna’s issues in school and Joel told you about his mom’s frustrations with his own grades. You rolled your eyes at him but smiled a little as you scolded him and told him you’d help him study, he just had to actually do it and he smiled and nodded along because he knew that. You were always trying to bring out the best in him. You were the only one who could.
“Oh, and, there’s the one really big thing,” you said as Joel parked his truck.
“I got a big thing, too,” he said. Your eyes lit up at that, always ready to be excited for him. “Yours first.”
“OK. So, you know Steve?” You asked, brows raised.
“Steve,” Joel frowned, trying to picture someone the both of you knew named Steve.
“Yeah, Steve,” you said. “You know, Steve…”
“You can keep saying his name all you want, I still don’t know who you mean,” he laughed.
“Steve,” you said again, incredulous. “The yearbook editor, Steve.”
“Oh!” He said, picturing the guy now. “Yeah, OK, Steve. Right. What about him?”
“Well,” you said sitting up a little straighter. “He asked me out.”
Joel just stared at you for a moment, blinking in shock. His stomach sank. He had the strange feeling that he was falling from some great height, not unlike what he felt when riding a roller coaster with you except there was no safety harness to keep him from tumbling to the earth.
“What?” He said eventually.
“Steve asked me out,” you said, chin up like you were proud. “I actually have a date, I’m not just hanging out with you for a change!”
“You said yes?” He asked, his mouth dry.
“Yeah, of course I did! We’re going to go to the movies,” you said, beaming, before you realized that Joel apparently wasn’t reacting the way you expected. You cocked your head, frowning. “Why, should I not have? Is there something wrong with him?”
“No,” he said quickly. “No, sure he’s fine, I just… didn’t know you liked ‘im is all.”
“I mean,” you shrugged. “He’s not bad looking and he’s funny and he’s smart and he writes… We have a lot in common. What’s not to like?”
Of course. Of course you’d go for someone more like you, someone who was smart like you and didn’t fucking struggle in school like he did, someone who wrote like you instead of just fucked around with their entire life like he did. Why on Earth would you be interested in him? Why on Earth would you waste your fucking time on someone like him when you were so clearly meant for so much better? Not that Steve was fucking good enough for you. No one was, Joel included.
“Right,” he said. He thought he might throw up.
“What?” You said, laughing awkwardly. “Are you OK? You look weird…”
“Fine,” he said quickly. “Just… You know. Be careful, guys can be assholes.”
“Yeah, you’d know,” you teased.
“No, I mean it,” Joel said. “Sure he seems like a decent guy but…”
“But?” You asked, brows raised.
“He don’t deserve you,” he said.
You smiled then, gently, reaching out and putting your hand on his thigh and giving his leg a squeeze.
“You’re sweet,” you said. “And you’re worried about nothing. It’s high school. It’s a date. It’s not like we’re getting married. Oh, maybe we could all go out together sometime! Once you pick the new flavor of the week, I mean. I’ll actually have someone to go with now.”
“Yeah,” Joel said, forcing himself to smile. “Yeah, that’d be fun.”
He gathered up the blankets and set them out in the bed of his truck and he helped pull you into it, settling in just as the meteor shower started overhead. You pressed yourself close to him and he could feel the heat of your breath on his skin and fuck he wished it could have been him you said yes to.
“Oh, what was your thing?” You asked, looking up at him from where your head was nestled against his chest. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to derail the conversation…”
“Oh, uh,” Joel said, scrambling for something - anything - to say. “Tommy… decided to take after his big brother and go out for football next year.”
“Nice!” You said, looking back at the sky again. “You’re going to put him through his paces before, right? Teach him how to take a hit?”
Joel scoffed.
“Course,” he said. “What kind of big brother would I be if I didn’t.”
The two of you watched stars streak across the sky for hours. Joel set an alarm on his phone because he knew you’d sleep through one on yours and you snuggled close to him under the blankets.
“You were right,” you said, voice sleepy. “This is really cool. Thanks for talking me into it.”
“Course,” he said, resisting the urge to kiss you. “I’d do anything for you… Love you, Goldie.”
You smiled against him.
“Love you, too,” you said.
He held you close and wondered what it would be like if you meant it the same way he did.
***
September, 2023
“Aunt Goldie?”
You looked up from painting Sarah’s toenails to see her watching you, her head cocked and a serious expression on her face, one that was partially obscured by the facial mask you’d applied before you’d started in on her nails during your at home spa day.
“Niece Sarah?”
“Why are you and my dad still in a fight?” She asked.
You just blinked for a moment, taking a moment to process her question. It caught you off guard - not that it should have. Things had been very different since her birthday party months earlier and Sarah was a smart kid. It made sense that she would notice. You just hadn’t prepared an answer - something that felt like a massive oversight now that it was in front of you.
“What makes you think that we’re in a fight?” You said eventually, putting the brush back in the jar of polish before you dripped on the floor.
“You never come over anymore,” she said.
“Well, I live back at my own house now,” you said, starting in on her toes again.
“Duh,” Sarah said and you could practically hear her eyes roll. “But even before you and Ellie lived with us you came over all the time and you don’t anymore. And my dad never comes here with me, he always just drops me off.”
“We both have a lot going on,” you said, happy you had an excuse to not be looking her in the eye. “It’s not…”
“I’m not stupid, you know,” she said and you looked up then, her gaze serious as she watched you closely. “I know something happened.”
You finished her pinky toe and closed the nail polish with a sigh.
“Sarah…”
“My dad’s been acting different,” she cut you off, a little heated, and you frowned.
“Different?” You asked. “Different how?”
“He’s just…” she sighed. “I think he’s sad. He tries to pretend like he’s not and that everything’s normal but I know him and I can tell. I don’t know what happened but I think it’s stupid that you guys just aren’t talking or whatever right now. I wish you’d just figure it out.”
You looked at Sarah, at her wide and hopeful eyes, and tried to figure out how to explain this to her.
How did you tell her that you weren’t sure how to move past how her father - the person you loved most in the world - apparently saw you? That you needed space from him because you couldn’t let yourself revolve around him anymore? That it wasn’t good for you to have your life so intertwined with someone who would, inevitably, go on to have a life outside of you?
It had been a strange two months, not seeing and even really speaking to Joel.
The first day was strange. It was just you and Ellie and your cat in your house that had done nothing beyond collect dust in the months since your niece was born.
Being there, alone, with Ellie made you nervous and you were sure she could sense it in you somehow, like she knew you were unworthy and letting her down by taking her away from the one fully competent person in her life because you were too selfish and couldn’t move past your own shit.
To make matters worse, your mind kept going back to Joel and the strange life the two of you had made together in the months you’d lived with him. He’d become built into everything, the rhythm of your life out of sync without him and Sarah there, too. You missed both of them so much it hurt but it was especially painful with Joel. You missed the way the two of you would navigate around each other in the kitchen in the morning, his hand so often finding your hip or the small of your back when he needed to reach around you or move past you. The way you could hold your toothbrush out and he would put the right amount of toothpaste on it before going to bed at the end of the day. The way he would just open your beer for you when he got you one, because - while you didn’t need him to - he knew you didn’t like getting your nails under the pull tab of the can or twisting the cap on the bottles.
Joel knew you. You’d been married a decade and you weren’t sure your husband had ever known you the way Joel did. He’d certainly never done things like that for you. Joel did. That was part of why that moment after Sarah’s party had caught you so off guard. You’d thought you meant more to him than that, that you were more than one of the women he’d pick up, have fun with for a night or a week or a month and then cast aside.
But then he shoved you against the wall in his kitchen and fucked you with his fingers like all you were to him was something physical, telling you how no one could fuck you like he did, as though that was the only thing that would matter.
You tried to shove that keen loneliness that came with missing him down by focusing on Ellie and pouring your every thought onto the page. You just kept your niece as close as possible all the time, keeping her strapped to your chest as you sat at your desk to write until it felt like your brain was going numb or got your house cleaned up or made dinner or went for a walk just to get out of your own head for a bit. You hoped that all but smothering her with closeness would keep her from realizing the coldly obvious thing that was your desperation and it was a relief when you took her to the rehab facility to pick up Anna.
This time, things with Anna and Ellie were smooth. Or as close to smooth as you could get with someone coming out of months of inpatient therapy and an infant. Anna seemed nervous with Ellie at first, hesitating and double checking everything, her eyes going from her daughter’s face to yours like she wanted your approval for how she was doing.
“This is right?” She asked as she held the bottle while cradling Ellie in the way that Joel had shown you.
“Yeah,” you smiled gently. “You’ve got it.”
“Yeah,” Anna said, looking back down at Ellie and smiling a little, too. “I think I do.”
You pulled back slowly then.
The first two weeks, you were more hands on, doing at least 50% of the work of caring for Ellie, going with Anna daily to meetings and therapy, writing as much as you could and keeping Joel far from your mind.
But, after a little while, Anna started to naturally take on more and more. The two of you went from splitting the overnight Ellie care to Anna handling everything. Slowly but surely, she took over everything and, by week five, all you were doing was watching as she cared for her daughter.
“If you wanted to move back home, I think I’m ready,” she said one afternoon as she fed Ellie while you made some tweaks to the plot of your novel in your story notebook.
“Are you sure?” You asked, setting your pen down, eyebrows drawn together.
“Yeah,” she said. “Why, do you think I’m not?”
“No!” You said quickly. “No, I think you’re doing great. I just don’t want you to feel like I’m abandoning you.”
“It won’t be like it was before,” she smiled, a twinge of sadness in her expression as she did. “I know her now. I know me now. I’ve got this, I don’t need to hold you back anymore.”
“You’re not…” you began, but she cut you off.
“I am,” she said. “You have a life outside of me and her and you put it on hold because I couldn’t get my shit together…”
“You just needed help…” you interjected, but she ignored you.
“…And I’m so sorry I put that on you,” she continued. “I’ll owe you forever for taking care of my daughter when I couldn’t. But we don’t need your help now, you can go back to your life. It’s OK. I promise.”
You didn’t have the heart to tell her that, really, you didn’t have a life. Outside of your work, your book and your cat, you had nothing. You needed her more than she needed you.
You’d tried to start getting a life of your own, getting out of the house and doing things on your own, well before this conversation. The first time you’d left Anna alone with Ellie for a few hours, you’d gone out with Tim, the man you’d met at Sarah’s party.
It was a fine date. It would have been a great one had it been someone else but all you could think about when you looked at him was Joel forcing you to come on his fingers in his kitchen as he said over and over that no one else could make you feel like he did.
Things fizzled out quickly when you realized it wasn’t something you could really get over. Since then, you hadn’t bothered with Tinder or trying to reach out to Alyssa or anyone else in town. The only person you’d really texted outside of Sarah and Anna was Gale.
You hadn’t responded to anything your estranged husband had sent since you’d moved in with Joel but then, one day, he texted you something that made you respond.
I didn’t want you to find this out on Facebook, that seemed wrong, but I wanted you to know that I became a father.
You stared at the message, just a few days after Anna had said you could move back home, reading it as you held your sister’s infant daughter in your arms. You thought about ignoring it, shoving the strange, hollow feeling that was taking over the core of you down deep, but then he sent one more message, one you couldn’t just pretend he never sent at all.
I’m sorry it wasn’t you.
You held it together until Anna was done in the shower, giving Ellie to her and making up some excuse that you were sure she could tell was bullshit - something about a headache and feeling nauseated - so you could hide in the room that had become yours in the time you’d been at Anna’s. You buried your face in the pillow and screamed until your throat was raw and you were choking on your tears, barely able to breathe.
It wasn’t you. It wasn’t you, not for anybody. He had been everything to you once but you hadn’t been anything to him, not really. It had never been you.
This, you thought, you should have been used to by now. You’d always felt like you were on the fringes of your own life, the people at the center of your world putting you on the edges of theirs. Gale, when you’d first gotten together with him, was the first person since Joel who made you feel like you were a priority, like you actually mattered. That feeling had faded with time but that, you’d thought, was just a byproduct of what a whole life with someone meant. Of course he didn’t send you good morning texts with poetry anymore or get you flowers just because or go out of his way to get your favorite tea. You saw each other all the time, why would he?
But you’d been sure that, at least with your husband, you were the priority. Until he’d given you divorce papers, even through the months of distance and cold behavior, you’d thought that you were the priority.
Then you realized, you’d kept thinking that, even after he left, even now. The way the divorce had dragged on, the way he kept texting and calling and trying, some sad, sick part of yourself had latched onto that. That you were the important thing, that you were what mattered. Your marriage may have failed but you took some cold comfort in the fact that you’d at least left your mark on him.
But you hadn’t. You’d stopped sleeping together hardly more than a year ago and your husband already had a baby with another woman. Even in your marriage, you’d been on the fringes.
When you stopped crying enough that you could see clearly, you emailed your attorney.
Give him whatever he wants. I just need this to be done.
You knew what that meant. The last divorce agreement his lawyer had sent yours included shared rights to your own fucking book, him keeping the house without buying you out, him keeping the entirety of the 401k. He was asking for a lot but all you wanted then was to cut the tie as thoroughly as possible. As terrifying as it was to live in a world that made it seem like your marriage had never happened, it was better than this.
Your lawyer called you to be sure, to try to talk you out of it, but you didn’t care. He could have whatever percentage of book rights he wanted, it's not like you could have created it without him. He could have the house, it’s not like you could ever live in it without him. He could have the entire state of Rhode Island for all you cared as long as you’d never be faced with the sharp reality of your marriage.
You wrote furiously when it was done, the words pouring out of you in a way they hadn’t since you’d written Halcyon. You barely slept or ate for days, canceling classes and writing until there wasn’t anything left inside you to say. You finished the manuscript, 33 chapters of your love and pain sitting in front of you. You stared at it for a moment, the cursor pulsing at the end of the final sentence.
It was over. You weren’t sure what you were supposed to do now, but it was done.
You were numb when you were on your couch a few days later, staring at the ceiling with nothing but your cat to keep you company, when your phone rang. You answered it without bothering to look at the screen, content to even talk to a telemarketer for a few minutes if it served as enough of a distraction.
“Hello?”
“What the hell is this, baby doll?”
You sat up fast enough that your head spun, pulling your phone away from your face to see Gale’s name on your screen. You put your ear to the phone again.
“What the hell is what?”
“This,” he said and you could hear the shuffle of papers on the other end.
“You realize we’re not on facetime, right?”
“You know what I mean,” he said. “This, the new divorce agreement your lawyer sent mine, what is this?”
You frowned, putting the call on speaker before going to your most recent email with your attorney and skimming the agreement. Your frown deepened.
“Isn’t that what you wanted?” You asked. “I thought you’d be happy, I…”
“You think this is what I want?” He cut you off, sounding heated.
“Isn’t it what you asked for?” you asked. “I don’t think I missed anything, you should have everything you wanted, and…”
“What I asked for is outrageous,” he said. You heard him put something down with a little too much force on the other end – probably a mug, knowing him – the sound of the ceramic on wood sharp. “I knew that when I asked for it."
"OK," you said, pinching the bridge of your nose, taking the phone off speaker and holding it against your ear again. “What else do you want? Do you want me to say you won or something? Because…”
“I want you to reconsider,” he said.
You just sat there for a moment, blinking in shock.
“What?”
“You heard me,” he said. “What is this. Why are you giving in to me like this.”
It still took you a moment to process what he said before you could manage to answer.
“I’m just trying to give you what you want,” you said, voice thick.
“You’ve never done that before,” he said. “Hell, even when we were together you never did that, you never just gave into me unless you wanted it, too. Why now.”
“You…” you sighed. “You’re a father now, you have… there’s someone else in your life now, you have another life now, Gale, and you should live it. I’m holding you back, I don’t want to hold you back, I…”
“You’ve never held me back,” he said. “I’ve told you that.”
“Well, clearly I wasn’t right for you in some way or we wouldn’t be where we’re at right now,” you snapped without meaning to. “I’m not the one who wanted to separate, that was you.”
“Yeah, well, I fucked up,” he said and you had to bite your tongue. “I was… I’ve never been with anyone as long as I was with you…”
“Yeah, me ether,” you said voice still sharp. “I was with you for more than a third of my life Gale.”
“I know that,” he said, speaking more gently than you. “I should have known better, I should have understood how things would change and I should have embraced your success instead of letting it hurt me…”
“My success hurt you?” You asked quietly.
He sighed heavily.
“It did,” he said. “You thrived commercially in ways I never could. I envied that, so much that I couldn’t stand being around you.”
“That’s it?” You asked. “That’s what made you leave me, the fact that I sold more books than you did?”
“No, of course not,” he said. “But it’s… it’s what started it.”
You almost laughed to keep yourself from crying because of course it was the one success you’d found that broke your marriage. Why would it be anything else?
“That’s not what I was trying to do,” you said.
“I know,” he said. “I was wondering if…”
“Does Carla know you’re talking to me?” You asked, cutting him off.
“Does she need to?” He asked. “You’re my wife.”
“And she’s the mother of your child,” you said. “I’m not going to be the other woman in my own marriage. You need to figure out what you want.”
“And if I want you?” He asked.
You sighed.
“You have a family now,” you said. “Think before you blow it up.”
But ever since, Gale had been a bigger presence in your life than Joel. He’d started acting like he had in the early days of your relationship, sending you romantic texts and having flowers delivered to your house.
Part of you knew you should resist it, that this wouldn’t lead anywhere good. There was a reason things had fallen apart once before, you knew they would again. But going back to him would be so easy. He was comfortable, familiar. There was a life the two of you had together that you knew you could fit back into now, if you wanted. It might be complicated - he had a child now - but it was there, right in front of you.
You just weren’t sure if you wanted it.
So you started talking with him. Not a lot, not like it had been before, but you were texting daily. He wanted to know about your book, how your classes were going, about your life in Texas. Part of you was waiting for the other foot to drop, for him to decide that he didn’t want you again, but he was consistent and that, at least, was something.
Meanwhile, your only contact with Joel was in a group chat with Sarah.
You might have needed space from Joel but you couldn’t just cut things off with Sarah. It wasn’t fair to her, you knew she was attached to you. Plus, she had become like a niece or daughter to you in the year you’d known her. You knew the names of her friends and her favorite songs and the books she liked. You loved her. You’d had to keep in touch. She regularly came over to watch a movie or have dinner and she called you at least three times a week to ask for help with homework and tell you about her life.
While you kept up with Sarah, you never really directly spoke to Joel. You only texted in the group chat to confirm that it was OK for you to pick up Sarah and what time she needed to be back, or when Joel would drop her off and pick her up at your place.
But you’d opened up your texts to send him a message directly at least once a day and every time you just stared at the last thing he’d sent you: I’m sorry. It was sent just hours after you’d left his house with Ellie weeks before.
You weren’t sure what the hell you were supposed to say to him, what you were supposed to do with that apology. Were you supposed to accept it and pretend it had never happened? Were you supposed to actually have him explain to you, on no uncertain terms, how he saw you and what he wanted from your relationship? Could you handle actually hearing him say it if you did?
You didn’t know. So you left it alone, the message glaring at you, the date stamp going further and further into the past with every passing day.
And that’s where your relationship with Joel sat, frozen in time, as his daughter watched you closely.
“You should come over tonight,” Sarah said. You raised your eyebrows and she stared you down. “When you drop me off. Just come inside, say hi, have dinner. It’s think he said he was going to grill.”
“I’m sure he already has everything planned out for tonight,” you said, returning to the work of painting her last nail and closing the polish. “I don’t think it’s a good idea…”
“Please?” She said, her eyes wide. She had to know what she was doing, looking at you that way. She was too smart for her own good. “I miss you.”
You sighed.
“Alright…”
“Yes!” She punched the air in victory.
“But just to say hi,” you said and her face fell a little. “I don’t want to impose.”
“Psh, family doesn’t impose,” she waved you off. You looked at her, incredulous. “What? That’s what Uncle Tommy says when he wants to stay for dinner.”
You snorted.
“Yeah, I bet he does,” you said. “Alright, once your toes dry, we’ll go to the bookstore and get you home.”
“And you’ll come inside?”
“And I’ll come inside,” you said, even though the thought made your stomach knot. “Promise.”
You took her to the bookstore, just wandering through with her and picking out a few new things for her - because you weren’t above buying a kid’s love - and got in line, where you passed a table of best sellers.
Halcyon was sitting there, out in paperback now, one copy sitting face down so your portrait was visible on the back. Sarah frowned and picked it up, examining it for a moment before her face lit up.
“Aunt Goldie!” She said, thrusting the book at you. “That’s you! I didn’t know you were famous!”
You shushed her, someone in line in front of you turning to look at you.
“OK, well, I’m not famous,” you said, taking the book from her and setting it back where it belonged. “I just wrote a book that people liked, that’s all.”
“My dad said you wrote a book, I didn’t know it was a famous book,” she said. “Can I read it?”
“Absolutely not,” you said, nudging her forward as the line moved.
“Why not?” She pouted.
“Because, as much as I love you and know how good of a reader you are, I wrote the book for adults,” you said. “You can read it in 10 years. Maybe.”
“Well, will you tell me what it’s about?” She asked.
You sighed, not entirely sure how to answer that question. At least, not to Sarah.
“It’s…” you paused. “It’s about love and figuring out who you are with it and without it.”
“Oh,” she crinkled her nose a little.
“What?” You asked, laughing a little.
“Sounds kinda boring,” she said. “Sorry.”
You snorted.
“No, you’re right,” you said. “It probably is boring.”
You paid for the books, the person in line behind you stopping you on your way out the door to sign a copy of your book they’d just bought, Sarah beaming as she watched, and drove to Joel’s.
You took a moment to steel yourself as you sat in his driveway. You hadn’t been in Joel’s house since you’d left. Any time you picked up or dropped off Sarah, you just sat in the car and waited for her to come to you or watched her until she was safely inside. You didn’t dare actually go in the house. That, you knew, was a bridge too far.
But you’d overcome bigger obstacles. You could do this, too.
You pulled yourself together and followed Sarah inside.
Nothing had changed. The blanket that was made by Joel’s mother was still draped on the end of the couch, his work boots were in a heap near the door, a beach towel from the pool was drying on a chair outside that you could just see through the sliding glass door. In spite of the knot in your stomach, this place felt like home. There was comfort here because the people you loved were here.
“That you baby girl?” Joel called from down the hall.
Your heart stuttered.
“It’s just me,” she called back.
You heard the telltale sounds of his footsteps as he made his way to the stairs.
“For dinner, did you…” he said before he froze, looking up from his phone to find you standing there, in his living room.
You smiled tightly.
“Hi Joel.”
***
You were here.
In his living room, you were here. You were here and you weren’t ignoring him and maybe he hadn’t fucking ruined everything. You were here and holy fuck you looked good, just in shorts and a tank top and fuck, he wanted to touch you again.
Instead, he just swallowed that driving want and cleared his throat, standing up a little straighter as he did.
“Hey, Goldie.”
You smiled. Not in that usual way you had, one that was quieter and stiller but still there.
“I told Aunt Goldie that she should come over and stay for dinner,” Sarah said.
“Oh,” Joel said, looking between you and Sarah. “Well, baby girl, Aunt Goldie’s been real busy lately and…”
“She already said she could stay for dinner,” Sarah said, almost smirking. “And I know you guys aren’t in a fight because you’ve both said you’re not in a fight and you’d never lie to me about that, right?”
Joel looked at you, a little desperate, and you just gave him a small shrug.
“Right,” she finished for him. “So that means she can stay for dinner because there’s no reason she can’t and oh, look! Vanessa is calling me so I’m just going to go into my room until dinner is ready and talk with her and not listen to whatever you two are going to talk about. Bye!”
She ran upstairs, taking them two steps at a time, leaving you and Joel standing there awkwardly in his living room.
“Sorry,” he said at the same time you did and you both laughed awkwardly.
“She’s conniving, that one,” you said.
“Little trickster,” Joel agreed.
He just watched you for a moment, happy that he could see you - actually see you, not just picture you like he usually did now.
“I should have called,” you said after you were both quiet for a moment. “I shouldn’t have just… It doesn’t matter that she wanted me to come over like this, I should have called and…”
“No, it’s fine,” Joel said quickly. “You’re always welcome here, Goldie, you don’t need to call.”
You smiled, small again, but it was there.
“Thanks,” you said. “I should have at least brought something, though, I know you weren’t planning on me being here… I can just go, I don’t…”
“Think we can find enough food in this house to feed three people,” he said, stepping closer, smiling a little. “Stay, if you want. I’d… I’d really like it if you stayed.”
“OK,” you said and you smiled like you then, small at first but then wide and bright and welcoming. “Then yeah, I’ll stay.”
Falling into you again was so fast and so easy. You followed him to the kitchen and the two of you made awkward, stilted conversation for a minute or two but, before long, you were perched on the counter while he made burger patties from the ground beef in the fridge as you told him how Ellie was doing and he told you what he’d been up to since you’d left.
Which, he had to admit, he was embellishing a little because, without you and Ellie, his life had been pretty gray.
After you left, it took a few days before it felt like he could do anything but take care of Sarah and stare at his phone. He’d texted you an apology, something he immediately regretted. He should have figured out a better way to say it instead of just “I’m sorry” and kept his mouth shut until he did. He kept hoping that you’d reply, that you’d give him a chance to say something better than “I’m sorry.”
Eventually, he gave up and tried to figure out how to live without you again. It was harder than he’d expected it to be. He’d done it before when you’d gone more than just a few miles down the road and he’d lived through that, this shouldn’t have been any worse. But it was.
Your lives had become so entangled, so in step, you were missing in everything he did. There were reminders of you everywhere and in everything, so much so that he needed an outlet.
So, he started playing guitar more.
It hurt at first because, for some masochistic fucking reason, he kept being drawn to songs about heartbreak and loss. But eventually, he got to the point that he wanted to do something besides wallow. It took him some time to figure out what the fuck that meant but, eventually, he settled on the perfect thing: his business plan.
Part of him wanted to believe that he was doing it only for himself. That this was what he wanted, it was the next step he needed to take to make his life - and the life he was building for his daughter - what he wanted it to be.
But that wasn’t true, you were in this, too. This was what he needed to do to be worthy of you. Maybe, if he could actually fucking make something of himself, you’d want him the way he wanted you.
So he’d put together the damn business plan. He put together the business plan and thought up a name and made an appointment at the bank to apply for the loan he’d need to start the company to begin with. He did everything he had to to make something of himself. He did it because he’d been wanting to be something since he’d first held his daughter. He did it because you gave him the courage and the drive to do it.
He didn’t tell you that part of it but he did tell you about the business stuff and he couldn’t help but be a little proud as he did.
But it was strange being close to you again like this, in ways that weren’t as intimate as they’d been just a few months before. He couldn’t just touch you as he cooked, trailing his hand up your thigh or his fingers over the delicate skin on the inside of your wrist where he could feel the pulse of you. Even with that odd distance, it felt like you should be close to him all the time, like he shouldn’t need to catch up with you like this because he should just know. He should just be living all of this with you.
“I’m so glad you guys aren’t fighting anymore,” Sarah said cheerfully when she finally emerged from her room for dinner, the three of you gathered around Joel’s table with cheeseburgers standing tall on your plates.
You looked at Joel, brows raised and nose scrunched and he sighed before looking back at Sarah.
“We weren’t fighting, baby girl,” he said.
“Oh, sure,” Sarah nodded sarcastically.
“He’s right. As much as I would love to just hang out with you and your dad all day, I’m afraid I do have a job,” you said. “And that means I have to be somewhere else at least some of the time.”
“I’ve just decided that I’m not going to let you guys not talk to each other for my whole life again,” she said. “So say whatever you want, I’m just glad Aunt Goldie is back.”
She got up and gave you both a squeeze.
“I’m going to go do homework,” she said.
“Believe that when I see it,” Joel scoffed.
“And you guys have fun,” she said, ignoring you both before heading to her room.
You watched her go, an amused smile on your face until you heard her bedroom door closed.
“She is too smart for her own good, for the record,” you said.
“Tell me about it,” Joel laughed. “Fuck if I know where she gets it from, too. Sure as hell ain’t me.”
“You always underestimate yourself,” you smiled a little, watching him now. Joel shrugged. “Is it weird to say I’m proud of you? For the business stuff I mean?”
“Nah,” Joel waved you off. “Not weird. Couldn’t have done it without you.”
“Yes you could,” you said. “But I’m glad I got to be a part of it.”
“Want to be more of a part of it?” He asked. “Because no one but me has read this business plan and, I’m not gonna lie to you Goldie girl, that’s making me pretty damn nervous.”
You laughed a little.
“Yeah,” you said. “I’d be happy to.”
Joel just watched as you went through the documents, a serious look on your face, and you made some notes on scratch paper as you went, weirdly anxious about what you would say. Because what you thought mattered even more than the damn bank.
“This is good,” you said when you finished, nodding slowly. “I have some questions but I think this is really good, Joel.”
“Yeah?” He asked, brows raised.
You smiled, one of your smiles, the ones he loved so much.
“Yeah,” you said. “You’re getting that loan, Miller. You’re about to be Joel Miller, proud founder of Miller Brothers Construction and Contracting, how’s it feel?”
He laughed.
“Pretty damn good,” he said. “But I do want your notes, I really want to do something right for once in my damn life.”
“Sure,” you laughed. “But I have had a beer and four glasses of iced tea since I’ve been here so I have to pee first. Think you can manage to wait for like… two minutes?”
“I guess,” Joel groaned. “Cave to your basic human frailties, God you’re so lame.”
You rolled your eyes at him but ran off to the bathroom and Joel watched you go, his eyes lingering on your ass and he tried to not picture you naked in his bed, remembering the way you looked when you slept naked and kicked the covers off in the night and he could see every inch of your skin beside him.
Your phone vibrating on the table pulled him out of his own head and he was about to call your name when he frowned, seeing the name on screen.
Gale was calling you.
Fucking Gale.
He watched it ring out, staring it down like it was a threat.
What the fuck were you doing talking to fucking Gale? You weren’t speaking to the guy when you’d been staying at Joel’s. What was he doing calling you now?
“Alright,” you said, clapping your hands together once before punching the air as you made your way back to the kitchen. “Let’s do this thing, Miller!”
“Why is Gale calling you?” He asked.
Your face fell.
“What?” You asked quietly.
“Gale,” he said, feeling himself get madder than he should. “The fucking asshole you’re supposed to be getting away from, Gale. Your ex-husband, Gale.”
“He’s not my ex-husband,” you said, shoving your hands in your back pockets and squaring your jaw. “We’re still married. And it’s not your business who I talk to…”
“Not your ex-husband?” He asked. “And not my business? It’s not my business, right, great…”
“Are we doing this again?” You asked, brows raised. “Really? You’re going to be pissed that I’m seeing someone…”
“You’re fucking seeing him?” He asked, getting to his feet. “You’re getting back together with your ex-husband, the same one who treated you like shit? Jesus Christ, Goldie!”
“I don’t know what I’m doing!” You snapped. “But I do know that he’s coming here tomorrow so we can talk and he’s going to help me with my book and…”
“Why!” He cut you off. “Why the fuck are you going back to that… that… fucking asshole? Goldie, you’re so much BETTER than him! You don’t…”
“He’s my husband, Joel!” You all but yelled. “He’s someone that I promised to be with for the rest of my life and that means something, I can’t just pretend it didn't happen! We’ve been talking and…”
“And what?” Joel snapped. “What, he start manipulating you again?”
“Again?” You asked, incredulous. “What do you mean again, you don’t know anything about our relationship, you don’t know what he was like then, what I was like then! You don’t know that part of my life, stop pretending like you do!”
“And why don’t I know it, hm?” He asked, just pissed off now. “Tell me, why don’t I know that part of your life when I know all the others, why don’t I know that part?”
“Don’t,” you said, sharp and cold.
He didn’t listen.
“Because you left! I don’t know because you left, you left me here like I was nothing, like I didn’t fucking matter to you and yeah, maybe I didn’t but…”
“No, fuck you,” you spat. “You don’t get to pretend like you’re just some innocent in all this…”
“Then what am I?” He demanded. “Tell me, I’m fucking dying to know how it’s my fuckin’ fault that you took off across the damn country, changed your damn number, blocked me on goddamn Facebook when I LOVED you…”
“Don’t,” you said, tears at the edges of your eyes. “Don’t do that, don’t say that kind of shit to me…”
“Say what?” He asked. “Tell you the truth? Because…”
“Because I’m not just some girl you fuck and cast aside, Joel!” You got in his face, tears falling now. “So don’t feed me the same lines you feed them because it won’t work and it’s not fair to me or to our friendship and…”
“What lines!” He asked. “I’m not feeding you any fucking lines, I don’t know what you’re talking about!”
“I heard you!” You yelled, breathless, forceful enough that Joel stepped back from you.
“What?” He whispered.
“I heard you,” you said. “When you were talking with Ricky, under the bleachers after prom, I heard you. I heard how much you regretted that night, I heard what you thought of me, I fucking heard you, Joel. So don’t act like you didn’t do anything, don’t act like I meant something to you because I know I didn’t. I know what I was, I know I was just some stupid girl you regretted fucking, I heard you. I know what I am to you, deep down, so forgive me if I’m not exactly desperate to talk through this shit with you. I’m sorry the fact that someone out there wants me, actually wants me, is so inconvenient for you!”
You snatched your phone from the table and stalked toward the door.
“No,” he said, going after you. “No, Goldie, listen, I…”
“I’m really not interested in hearing more of your bullshit, Joel,” you snapped. “I can’t, I just don’t have it in me to hear you talk about how much you regret me anymore.”
You paused in the doorway, looking back at him as he scrambled to find a way to say something - anything - that would make you stay.
“Good luck at the bank,” you said. “I’m sure you’ll get what you’re asking for.”
You were gone before he had a chance to respond.
A/N: I'm so sorry this took a million years. Thank you for being patient as my job put me through the wringer and grad school just beat me over the head repeatedly.
This was a BIG moment for Goldie in particular! She FINALLY said it, the reason why she left and why she thinks he doesn't want her. She reopened the wound and now the ball is in Joel's court. We'll see what he does with it :)
Taglist: @kaseyconnour
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I think there is something that although has been previously discussed, most people ignore.
Forgive me if I cannot word this perfectly, but I’m running on very little sleep.
A lot of the times, for shows and characters to work, it’s all about intention and the truth behind it. Let me put a quick example:
-We see Bobby trying to better himself. Especially after getting help in Season 1. This is his intention. Throughout the series we’ve seen the truth behind it, hence why we’ve been able to latch onto him and to consider him one of the most beloved characters of the universe. We see his intentions, we see him trying, and even when he’s not fully successful, the truth behind it all does not change.
Now. Let’s just move to what we were presented with Bucktommy:
-Ever since they went canon, BuckTommy has been different compared to past Buck’s LI. They had their big moment at the hospital, sure, but they also had a pivotal moment at the café. Where Buck expresses his intentions towards Tommy. And you can see the truth behind those as well.
-The scene in the graveyard, to me, adds to this. Not directly from Buck’s words, but what the show is telling us. During the whole episode, but especially during this scene. They give us a beautiful, significant moment between Buck and Tommy. The way Buck looks at Tommy when he says the phrase on people making life worth living - that is a show of intention. And the intention behind it is to show us Tommy is really important to Buck. That the relationship is very important, because here they are, having a big moment in ways we have not seen that much outside of main couples (if at all).
So. Intentions and truth.
Let’s say BuckTommy breaks up next ep. What does that do (talking for the GA)? It shows the intention they had seen with Bucktommy all along was not truthful. That investing or liking the couple was a bit for nothing, because in the end it was done.
(small side note to say - with Taylor the intention and truth was there from the start of 5b. Right away it was glaringly obvious the relationship was doomed. So I personally don’t see the comparisons with this relationship).
Lastly - what would this mean moving forward? Because the GA has seen that the intentions were not truthful, and that what they were shown on screen didn’t matter. In my honest opinion (but feel more than free to disagree!), they would become distrusting. And, whenever Buck had another relationship, they would either take a long time to see it as something worth caring about, or they would fall into the mindset of: well they’re gonna break up soon anyway.
the network wants their audience to trust them, because if they become untrustworthy, they’re doomed.
All of this!!
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PRICE OF FAME | MYG ★ CH. 1 TEASER
✧ PAIRING: yoongi x fem!reader
✧ SUMMARY: You were about ready to give up, your career nowhere near what you dreamed it’d be when you started at eighteen, bright-eyed and naive. Reality for you these past few years has consisted of pouting at a camera, ignoring whispers of your name at company events, and ensuring that the stupid, tiny designer purses they keep forcing on you can at least carry a flask. But now, you’re helping a friend in need. For the first time in a long time, it feels like you’re doing something worthwhile with your life. Too bad Min Yoongi, the newest thorn in your side, seems insistent on stopping you. 『 series masterlist 』
✧ TEASER WARNINGS: none!
✧ NOTES: aaaah!!! i was going to wait a little while to drop this but i couldn't resist. consider this an introduction to the boys! i hope that this is a suitable teaser to kick off the series. this teaser is un-beta'd thus far, so wording is subject to change when i reach the editing stage. please feel free to sound off in the replies or my inbox with thoughts/questions! <3
✧ TEASER WORDCOUNT: 733 words
✧ STATUS: ch. 1 scheduled to drop on nov. 6, 2024!
With a flash of lights and a cacophony of sound, Burn The Stage launches into their first song on the setlist. The crowd roars around you, but you’re not here as a fan, so you try to remember everything Jeongguk taught you in preparation for tonight.
If you weren’t already close, most everything there is to learn about Jeon Jeongguk himself could easily be found with a simple Naver search.
Not only is Jeongguk the lead vocalist and rhythm guitarist of Burn The Stage, but he’s also the de facto face of the band, and he couldn’t be better suited for the job. He’s beautiful. Like, seriously beautiful. Well-built and knows it, sings songs about love and sex and anger with the sweetest voice known to man, covered in tattoos and piercings that eommas everywhere pretend to disapprove of when they’re actually ogling just as much as their daughters. He’s a teenage girl’s wet dream, and with that comes hordes of them using the deductive skills of the NIS to figure out the last time he took a shit. Very little in his life is a secret, whether he likes it or not.
The rest of the band, in turn, gets the luxury of a little bit of mystery.
Park Jimin, drummer, and Kim Taehyung, bassist. Jeongguk’s best friends in the world. You’ve met them both in passing before, at industry events here and there, and they both seemed nice enough.
Jimin has a bit of a reputation for being temperamental, angry, but the way Jeongguk describes him paints him as something gentle. Childhood friends who’ve known each other since scraped knees and runny noses.
It’s public knowledge that Jimin wanted to be a dancer, before this—that when he was in college, he suffered an injury that ended his dancing career before it even started. One moment he was one of the most promising ballet students in Seoul, and the next he was retired at nineteen. He doesn’t like to talk about it, but every time the band is interviewed the question is inevitably asked. Do you have any regrets? You’ve watched the videos, seen the way he shakes with anger even as he answers with a saccharine smile. You have a feeling getting along with Jimin won’t pose any challenges for you. You know a thing or two about regrets.
Taehyung is a bit harder to figure out, but not in any way that sparks concern. He’s just an interesting guy that way.
He was the last to join the band, the first to answer a ‘BASS PLAYER NEEDED’ ad posted around the city. Apparently, he was so good that they didn’t feel the need to call anyone else.
He lives in his own world, does his own thing. Posts very artistic photodumps on his Instagram with concerningly cryptic captions. He’s quiet when he’s around people he doesn’t know, but when he’s put in a room with Jimin and Jeongguk he becomes the loudest person there. He’s kind, caring, always seems to know the right thing to say even if it’s delivered in the strangest manner possible.
Jimin and Taehyung won’t cause any problems for you. Jeongguk assured you that they’d be easy to win over, that as long as Jeongguk likes you, you’re in with them.
The real wild card is the guitarist. Min Yoongi.
According to Jeongguk, Burn The Stage wouldn’t even exist if it weren’t for Yoongi. When the band formed, they were just dumb kids with a shared dream, but Yoongi was the one to set it all in motion.
When they didn’t have anywhere to practice, Yoongi convinced the ajumma he worked for to let him cram as much equipment as he could fit into a tiny noraebang room. When venues wouldn’t book them without the guarantee that they would draw a crowd, Yoongi burned hundreds of CDs and stood on the streets of Hongdae begging people to listen. When shady entertainment companies started offering them laughable contracts, Yoongi found Namjoon and somehow convinced him to manage them for dirt cheap. When they finally got an offer worth taking, Yoongi made them mull it over for as long as they possibly could. Weigh the pros and cons and decide if it was what they really wanted.
If Jeongguk is the face of the band, Yoongi is the heart. Unfortunately for you, this particular heart is very well-guarded.
✧ TAGLIST: @jajabro @pitchblack0309 @sugar-snap @ot72025 @ktownshizzle @futuristicenemychaos @tea4sykes @sugainmybowl
#price of fame#yoongi x reader#min yoongi x reader#suga x reader#yoongi x y/n#min yoongi x y/n#suga x y/n#yoongi x oc#min yoongi x oc#suga x oc#yoongi x you#min yoongi x you#suga x you#yoongi fanfiction#min yoongi fanfiction#suga fanfiction#bts fanfiction#bts fanfic#jungkook x reader#jeon jungkook x reader#jungkook x y/n#jeon jungkook x y/n#jungkook x oc#jeon jungkook x oc#jungkook x you#jeon jungkook x you#jeon jungkook fanfiction#jungkook fanfiction#min yoongi angst#min yoongi smut
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Obsidian Salt III
Summary: Demon!Rhys' plan for the Solstice comes to a head
Content Warnings: Dark!Rhys, Mental Manipulation, DubCon, Slight NSFW; a dash of slut-shaming/body issues; mentions of blood and burns, nothing super graphic.
Part One / Part Two
-------
There is only one thing I can be absolutely certain of: I have no control of my body. Flames dance from my fingers, the color and shape of them wrong. It’s not the orange and yellow hues it should be, but shades of blue and purple that don’t burn, no matter how much pours from my fingers. My skin doesn’t blister. The heat doesn’t touch me. Stranger still, I can’t feel the pull in my chest that tells me I’m using too much energy, even though I should. The words on my lips are a spell in a language I know I don’t speak, but they flow off my tongue as if it is all I have ever known.
Worse still, I can’t remember what it is exactly that I do and don’t know. There is only this thick darkness in my skull and the flames that glitter around my fingers like tiny Sprites. There is nothing before this, and nothing ahead of this. Only now, watching the pile of tomes and old books burn on the charred forest floor. A blood moon rises swiftly ahead of us.
“Feels good, doesn’t it, Witchling?” My companion’s voice is a lover’s purr, rich and silky next to my ear as he watches from over my shoulder. I can’t remember where or when I met him. All I know is that I want more of his approval. I think I might do anything for it as his hands settle on my hips. My head feels strangely empty of everything except him and the strange fog, but I don’t entirely mind the quiet, as long as I get the reward of his lips and body against my own.
“Mhm,” I hum, leaning back against the firm planes of him.
His hands slide under my shirt and skim higher, his claw tipped hands drifting with enough pressure to make me shiver without drawing blood. “We’re almost free of them.”
I take my lower lip between my teeth and bite down against the whimper threatening to slip out of me as his hands come up to cup my breasts. My body is not my own because it’s his. I crave every bit of affection he’ll give me, every touch and kiss and whisper of breath against my flushed skin feels like a gift.
“Why start by burning books?” I ask, trying not to sound so needy by moaning like I want to when he gives my nipple a harsh tug. My body betrays me in the end, chest arching into his touch, practically begging for more.
“No spells to counter us,” he replies. I know he can feel my desperation, know he’s egging it on by rocking the hard length of his erection into the supple flesh of my ass, but his hands slide back down my body, robbing me of the pleasure I so furiously crave.
His hands stop at my hips, claws dipping into my skin as he holds me in place. “Not yet, Little Witch. You’ll have your fun once we’re done here.”
I tilt my head back against his shoulder, pouting, hoping he might change his mind as I rock my ass back into him.
One of his hands leaves my hip to grab me firmly by the throat. “Don’t be greedy. You’ll take what I give you, when I decide to give it to you.”
My body freezes, held by some invisible grip even as he releases me. The loss of contact makes panic swell in my chest. “I’m sorry! I’ll focus.”
The hard lines of his face, distorted in the firelight, soften just a bit. “Good girl.”
The panic settles in my chest as the invisible grip on my body falls away. That’s better, even if he doesn’t put his hands on me again as he motions me away from the dying embers of our book pyre. At least I have him close.
Rhys walks with his hands in his pockets now, wings tucked tight behind him. His gate is unhurried, as we stride through the quiet woods, the blood moon lighting the way. I think its arrival might be important, but I have no memories of why.
“The witches will be gathering soon,” he says. “They’re expecting you.”
Violet eyes glance over my attire and he adds, “You’ll need to change.”
I don’t question him as he steps onto a well worn trail and follows it all the way to a house. My house. The memory of it comes back into focus as if it had been lifted out of a fog, though it looks strange to me now. The runes along the foundation look like they were made by children, the wards they cast are flimsy at best. Strange, I’d always thought they were the best in the neighborhood.
“You see them as I see them,” he explains as he lifts a clawed hand and tears right through the glittering ward. “Key is in your pocket.”
Right. I slide my hand into the pocket of my jeans and find the key along with a couple crushed pieces of dried rosemary. What the hell was I doing with it?
I slide the key into the lock and step into the dark house. It’s utterly silent, all the lights off. When I reach for the light switch, Rhys bats my hand away. “The neighbors don’t need to know we’re here.”
I somehow know my way around in the dark, even as the memory slowly returns, slipping out from the fog like a frightened prey animal. My room is the smallest, crammed into the attic, my footsteps echo on the stairs as we walk, but Rhys makes no sound. If anyone was in the house they would have assumed I was alone. Every once in a while I have to glance back over my shoulder to make sure he’s still there.
He only lets me turn the lights on in my cramped bedroom once he’s sure there are no windows to give us away. The sight of him having to duck to not slam his head against the slanted roof is amusing enough to make the risk worth it. He settles himself on my bed after a moment of knocking things around with his wings, long legs folded beneath him on my worn quilt, a frown crossing his handsome features.
“I’ve seen prison cells with more space,” he huffs.
I go to the wardrobe jammed in the corner, the old oak doors hanging on by a single, rusted hinge that squeaks when it opens. I wince as I start pushing old sweaters and jackets around, unsure of what I’m looking for. “What’s the dress code for this?”
The apex talon on his left wing scrapes against the wall, slashing through the worn wallpaper, and he huffs as he wraps the leathery membrane around himself like a cocoon. “Fucking witches. All so godsdamn small!”
Once he’s sure he’s not going to wreck anymore of the decor, he turns his attention back to me and I feel heat rush through me once more as those violet eyes roam over my body. “You’ll look good in black.”
A blush works its way up my cheeks as I start pushing pastel sweaters and multicolored t-shirts out of my way, looking for anything black. There’s a small, lacey thing tucked in the back and I have a distinct memory of someone telling me not to wear that to some function or another but the details or fuzzy. All I know is that someone, somewhere, made me feel small the last time I’d worn it. And I will never let anyone make me feel like that again.
I pull it out of the wardrobe and hold it out for Rhys to see. Something about him heightens all my worst emotions. My anger feels tenfold. My insecurities have tripled. I need him to quiet one and use the other, that much I do know.
His fangs glint in the witchlights the bob from the ceiling as he takes it in. “Certainly not the attire of a virgin sacrifice.”
A shadow from within the fog lets me see my grandmother’s threat from yesterday and I ball the dress in my hands up in my fists. “I’m no one’s sacrifice!” There’s something… different in my voice, and whatever it is makes the witchlights shutter.
Rhys only grins triumphantly at the sight. “That’s my girl.”
I take a shuddering breath to calm the pulsing of something I feel in my veins, something I can’t identify, something I don’t remember possessing before. Something that belongs to Rhys just as much as I do. It starts with a buzzing feeling in my spine, where his sigil sits.
“I’m going to go change.” A tendril of shadow snakes out from underneath his wings and snags me by the wrist, pulling me towards where he sits on the bed before I can even take a step towards the door.
“Why so shy?” He teases, wings unfolding enough for him to reach out a clawed hand and brush it against the buttons on my jeans. “What are you afraid I’ll see?”
I shiver at the contact, my legs moving on their own accord until my knees bump against the bed frame. He has such complete control over me, I don’t know if he even knows it. “I’m not afraid of anything!” I try to protest but my voice shakes when I speak.
He grins as his claws retract to let him pop the buttons open, large hands slowly pushing the loose fabric down my hips. It is an effort to stand still, to not climb into his lap and straddle him right here in my ratty bedroom.
Once the fabric is past my thighs my jeans fall to the floor in a pool around my ankles on their own accord, his callused hands now stroking up my exposed flesh to reach for the hem of my sweater. I am no blushing virgin, but I have never been this aroused by a simple action before either. I find myself biting my lip as I watch the way his hands move over my body. I’m scared if I move too fast or make too much noise he’ll stop, just like he did earlier, leaving me empty and cold in the loss of his touch.
He leans forward on his knees, wings parting just enough to let him lean forward without batting into the walls, to brush his lips over my stomach as he removes the sweater inch by inch. Every second passes by like an hour, his kisses slow and unhurried as if we have all the time in the world.
I squeeze my eyes shut as his lips ghost over my ribs, nose brushing up against the band of my bra. His lips are so plush and warm, I can’t help but wonder what they would feel like wrapped around my nipple. The thought makes heat pool between my legs and I instinctively clench my thighs together, looking for some form of friction to take the edge off.
He nips teasingly at the valley between my breasts, but leaves my bra in place as he finally pushes the sweater over my head and onto the floor. “Aren’t you pretty,” he purrs.
I can’t stop myself from leaning forward, one hand braced on his muscular shoulder to keep myself from falling directly into his lap. I need to kiss him. I need to have his lips back on mine.
He chuckles wickedly as he stops me with a hand on my throat, squeezing just enough to halt my movements. “What did we talk about earlier, hm?”
“Please, Rhys,” I whimper.
“After we’re done,” he promises, unbothered by the effect he has on me, knowing I’m so totally at his mercy and desperate for any attention. I think he likes keeping me here. Likes knowing he can dangle pleasure within reach and then rip it away from me before I can truly have a taste. It might be the most effective way to keep me from looking into what we’re doing and I am a fool who keeps falling for it, but anytime I start to question why I allow it, the fog returns in my head and all the questions disappear in a rush. Just as they do now.
My eyes feel heavy and my head empty as I nod, the movements of my body foreign, like a puppet being jerked around on a string.
He pulls the dress over my head with the same slow, teasing pace as he’d taken off my clothes, and it only makes the heat beneath my skin all the worse. The dress halts on my upper thighs, just long enough to cover all the important bits, and his hands linger on the hem, fingers tracing strange shapes on the inside of my thighs.
I might be desperate enough to try begging one more time, were it not for the sound of footsteps on the stairs. Rhys dissolves into shadow and smoke and dives underneath the bed as the door opens and my Mother strides in, broom still in hand from the flight over.
“What are you wearing?” She says in greeting.
That pulse of anger that had made the lights flicker returns and she glances at it with one, manicured brow raised in surprise.
“I thought it looked nice-”
“You look like a whore,” she returns, hands smoothing over the green cloak dusting her shoulders. If she cares about the new display of power, she doesn’t mention it. Probably thinks it's a fluke. Or perhaps an errant flair of her own magic, she certainly has enough to spare. “Change before you head out. I’m sure your performance tonight will be embarrassing enough as it is without you being seen by everyone in that awful outfit.”
My cheeks flush with embarrassment.
“You told me you were going on a diet,” she continues to chastise. “That dress certainly proves that a lie.”
I run a hand over my stomach self-consciously, but I can’t think through the fog to find an argument.
“Honestly, Y/N, is all this a joke to you?”
“No!” I protest but she cuts me off.
“You certainly could have fooled me! Our family name is on the line here, you understand the reputation you have to uphold, don’t you?”
“Yes, Mother,” I try again, but she continues on like I hadn’t.
“Our family holds the front line against both the human world and the demon one. Do you know how much work that takes, to keep the demons leashed to their dimension and keep those stupid humans in the dark? Do you have any idea the sacrifices we’ve all had to make? The work we’ve all put in?”
“Yes-”
“Do you know how many Sisters I have lost? How many I had to decide to sacrifice to preserve our coven’s strength?”
“I understand-”
“To show weakness is to invite our destruction. This peace you have gotten to grow up in has come at a terrible price. It is not a game.”
“I know-”
“No, you don’t!” She hisses. “Because if you did, then you would have taken your lessons seriously. You would have studied harder. You wouldn’t be an example of weakness today.”
My hands are clenched so hard at my sides my fingernails have left indents in my palms. “I will not disappoint you tonight, Mother.”
“You only have one shot to prove yourself, because if the Salem girl beats you, you’re the sacrifice, you understand that don’t you?”
Rhys’s sigil on my back burns. “I know. She won’t beat me. I’ve been practicing.”
She frowns as she shifts her broom to her other hand. “I wish I believed you.”
She might as well have hit me.
“I have to hunt tonight, there are too many humans on the border.”
And as powerful and proud as my Mother is, she can’t stand there and watch me make a fool of myself. As always, the Coven provides a perfect excuse for her to not be around while I “disgrace the family name” and “make her wish I was never born”. The instances in which she said those very words flood my mind at a feverish pace, spinning round and round like a whirlwind movie performance. The burning at my back spreads all the way to my fingertips and I swear I feel the flicker of a flame between my clenched fists again.
“Do you really think so little of me?” I ask, my voice a lot smaller than I mean it to be.
“I stopped expecting big things from you a long time ago,” she retorts, straightening her cloak again. If she feels any remorse for the words or concern for my wellbeing, she doesn’t show it. I am as expendable as any other witch in the Coven, maybe more since she thinks so little of me. “Just try not to die tonight, ok?”
“I won’t be dying tonight,” I say through my teeth.
She nods, turns towards the stairs, then glances back one last time over her shoulder. “Change before you go.” Those are her parting words for my impending doom?
The door shuts behind her and I lash out and slam my fist into the wall in frustration; the first movement of my body all day that has felt distinctly mine and not so terrible intertwined with Rhys.. The wood groans under my burning knuckles, but worse still, the fading wall paper smolders, the edges burning and crinkling, the smell of melting glue filling the air. I glance down at my hands long enough to see a flicker of those blue flame disappear between my knuckles through the tears brimming my eyes.
Rhys materializes from under the bed, looking annoyed that he can’t stretch out his wings. “That was harsh, even for a Witch.”
I stretch out my hands, palms splayed, no more flames to be seen, even if the wallpaper still smolders. “Is this from you?”
“It’s the amplification of what’s already inside you,” he says.
My Mother’s words still ring in my ears. “There’s nothing inside me.”
He reaches out a hand and tilts my head up to look at him. “We both know that’s not true, Darling.”
I wish I could remember how he came to me; remember which god I needed to thank for bringing him to me. No one understands me like he does. He makes me feel seen, like I’m not entirely a burden. The fleeting moment of control I had over my body disappears, dispelled by this new touch of his hands against my face.
He wipes the tears that slip down my cheeks with his thumbs. “Ready to show them exactly what you are, Little Witch?”
I’m not going to change the dress. And I’m not going to die today either. “Yes.”
He grins wickedly, eyes going all black again. “Then let’s give them a Solstice no one will ever forget.”
Those words are the last thing I remember before the fog takes me completely. There is only darkness and shadow, floating and swirling so intensely around me that I lose sight of everything. I am not a person, I am a thought, tossed around in the dark. Dully, I am aware of sounds. Of a flash of heat on my skin. Of the distant sound of screaming. Terror becomes a companion, but it is never an emotion that comes from me, only something that walks alongside me in the dark. Through it all, there is never a moment that I am not aware of him. His being is as intertwined in the darkness as I am, I think he might very well have been its creator as well as its caretaker. Even here, the brush of him is enough to keep me from thinking too hard about it. The darkness is good and soothing and nothing to fear, no matter what sounds come from outside it.
When he finally sets me free from the darkness, it is in a world once again on fire. What looks like a celebratory parade now lays in cinders, the charred remains of a skeletal figure clutching the melted wheel on the front. The air is heavy with ash, the wind blowing embers across the blood red sky.
There is more screaming. Underneath what once might have been a floral arch, twisted in the burning ribbons are people… no witches, fighting for an escape that doesn’t come as the winged death god that has followed me all day stalks towards them with his claws out, chuckling at their plight.
Something in me recoils, fights against the invisible hands that hold me, just enough to let out a scream of horror as the witches meet a bloody end, the gore splattering across Rhys’s wings. He turns to look at me then, grinning wickedly, no violet in his eyes to be seen, only endless black pits.
The shadow in my skull parts just enough to remind me what he really is: Demon. Prince of Hel.
My hands shake at my sides. My back aches and burns like someone had tried to set me on fire, but I am wholly unscathed compared to the carnage and destruction around me.
“This is what you wanted, isn’t it?”
But the fog in my head closes in tighter, sharper now, like talons digging into my skull. I scream as I fall to my knees, but the hands that hold me won’t let me reach for my head. Blue flames still dance from my fingertips, flames I don’t remember unleashing.
“What?” Each word is a battle to get out. “What did I do?”
The blood on his hands is cold as ice as he brushes a hand over my cheek. “What you were meant to do, Little Witch. What they were always scared you could do. Don’t you see? You’re free!”
Free? Whatever the Solstice celebration was supposed to be is irrelevant now, there is only death and fire and it’s all at my hand. The moment guilt starts to creep in, the fog rips it away from me, replaces it with that same need to please him.
“You freed me?”
Invisible hands help me stand again. He braces a hand on my hip to steady me as he brushes his lips over my forehead. The fires seem irrelevant like this. “They’ll never hurt you again. They’ll never hurt us again.”
I can’t remember what he was saving me from. Before I can ask the question, a false sense of gratitude worms its way into my chest. Another gift from him. The more gifts he gives me, the more hollow and cold I feel my insides becoming. My head doesn’t know reality from the world he creates inside my mind, but my heart is another matter. There is something very, very wrong with him. With me. But I am not strong enough to fight it. The sigil at my back burns when I try.
“What now?”
Plush lips brush against mine. My body moves for me, chasing the heat of him. Chasing the blissful pleasure of emptiness that comes when he touches me. His wants are mirrored through me somehow.
“What would you like now, My Little Witch? The rest of the Coven? A throne perhaps? There is nothing in your way. I can give you everything you’ve ever wanted.”
I don’t know that I want anything. Nothing feels real. Nothing but him.
“Want you,” I say, voice a little breathless, as if conjuring up anything of myself from within the fog is a tremendous effort. It certainly feels like it. I don’t know if that’s another gift from him or not. Everything is becoming so very muddled again.
The demon grins as he asks, “And then?”
Images swirl around my head. Each carefully planted by those invisible hands. I am powerless to resist their influence. “No more witches.”
“I couldn’t think of anything better, Darling.”
-----
Tag List:
@girl-math-aint-mathing / @hjgdhghoe / @gloomy-hag / @barb00235 / @scxrletwitches
Thank you for all your patience! <3
#rhysand x reader#rhys x reader#dark!rhys#dark!Rhys x reader#demon!rhys#demon!Rhys x reader#rhys smut#rhysand x reader smut#witchy fic#demon fic#acotar#acotar AU#acotar rhys#spooky szn fic#kinktober#my writings#my fanfic
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✩˚。⋆ 𝐁𝐀𝐓𝐌𝐀𝐍: 𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐇𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐒𝐘𝐋𝐔𝐌 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒.
below is a list of dialogue said by various characters , including villains , guards & doctors , & The Batman himself. this dialogue was gathered from the game wiki page , & compiled into a list for easy access & use. feel free to change names & pronouns as needed. do not add to the list , & always reblog from the source.
TW DISCLAIMER. this meme may contain potentially triggering content , pertaining to care of patients in the batman franchise.
" How did he get out? I mean, you're here and... "
" Some loyalty! Do you need any help? "
" You and your men are safer here. I'll find you if I need anything. "
" I saw the alert, what's wrong? Where are you? "
" I don't get it. This place is supposed to be secure. "
" Unfortunately, some of the patients will always try and escape. I'll stop them. "
" Thanks for the concern, officer, but it will take more than guns to stop me. "
" I'll take care of this. "
" Thanks. Let me know if you need backup. "
" Exactly. He's left me a trail to follow. He's alive. "
" You wait here. I'll be back. "
" You heard the lady. We've got another psycho on the way. "
" Keep your weapons trained on it at all times. "
" It's my favourite show. I'm Warden Idiot, You'll Never Escape'. "
" Just gotta check your prisoner. "
" You have to listen to me! It's a mistake. I didn't do it! "
" I've waited a long time for this, Bats. Let's start the party. With a BANG. "
" I think you need a little more...! Tell me, what demons do you have left to beat? Shall we see? "
" This isn't a simple escape attempt. Joker's been planning this. "
" Please help me! "
" You're going to be fine. Stay here. "
" Batman's here! Just hold on a little longer! "
" I want all the doctors rounded up. Search every inch of the Medical building. I mean it. "
" La la la la lu lu lu la! Hey! Scram, Bats! This is my me time. "
" Shut it and get down there with the others. MOVE IT!! "
" Batman's as good as dead. "
" The medical building is ours. No one's takin' it from us. "
" I can't wait to get outta here. This hospital scares the crap out of me. "
" Man, I hate the smell of hospitals. "
" Ain't hospitals supposed to be clean? This place stinks. "
" The room's clear. You're safe now. "
" Did they have anyone with them? "
" They took someone into the elevator, I couldn't tell who it was. "
" We'll be fine. "
" What about the others? We heard gunfire. They could be dead. "
" Batman, we've got another problem. "
" Why are you doing this? I have done exactly as you've asked "
" Look at me, you think I care? Stop your whining and listen good. "
" Keep quiet. I'm not sure how much more of your yapping I can take. "
" Bad publicity will effect his campaign for Mayor. "
" Don't speak. You're safe now. "
" What are you waiting for?! April Fools' day?! Get down there! "
" HE'S HERE! "
" Yeah. Big Bad Batman. C'mon, tough guy, come and get us. "
" Oh. Look at him, stuck out there. Ain't ya got a cat to rescue from a tree or something? "
" Yeah, that's right. Go on. Get lost. We're in control. "
" Is he dead? "
" I think so. "
" You may wanna do a quick head count. "
" BABOOM! Another one bites the dust. "
" Batman's as good as dead. "
" Yeah. Give us orders and then sit in your nice safe room while we fight Batman. Nice... "
" Batman? Can you hear me? Show yourself! "
" Oh, I'd like to thank my fans for their undying support, and the people of Gotham, who I will be seeing very soon. "
" I salute my fallen enemy. "
" Oh. Isn't that cute. Little Bat's a-sleepin'. Someone finsh him off. "
" That loser didn't stand a chance. I mean, look at me. "
" Gotta say. I thought you'd last longer. "
" Loser, Loser, Loser! "
" Bye bye, Bats! "
" Once again I have defeated you, Batman! "
" I will enjoy feasting on your bones. "
" Tick, tock. Feed the Croc. "
" And at the end of fear, oblivion. "
" Now madness takes you, forever. "
" You're dead and buried, darling. "
" Sorry, love, you're plucked. "
#✩˚。⋆ rp memes.#roleplay resources#rp resource#roleplay meme#roleplay prompt#rp meme#rp prompt#batman prompts#sentence starters
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https://www.tumblr.com/umbrella-show/764815509077311488/self-aware-crk?source=share
Hey if you take requests/ideas I wanna drop one off...a prequel of like y/n entering the cookie world and panicking that they are in said world aaaand how cookies take them I'm and how they got y/n to move em into castle instead of just letting them live in a house and so on...you get the idea lol!
(BTW I saw the tag of yandere and I'm curious when we will see the yandere parts...excited lmao!
Umm so this is really long and i don't think I have it in me to create a whole fic based off this so I put it in headcannon format.
Prequel
The Legend of the baker was a very well known story across Earthbread which entailed the story of a being more powerful than the Witches. A being that watched over Earthbread and kept it safe of harm and darkness.
The story was told to cookies, both young and old, and was meant to give hope to terrible situations. After all, the Baker will always protect Earthbred and its inhabitants.
Some believed the story, others didn’t. But it was still one of the most popular stories on EarthBread.
You don’t remember how you became stuck in this world. You just remember waking up in the middle of the forest that just so happened to be right outside of the Cookie Kingdom. You faintly remember stumbling across the large Kingdom, watching in shock and confusion as cookies, only a little shorter than you, roamed the kingdom.
You had soon been spotted by one of the cookies who fearfully ran and alerted other cookies of your existence. You remembered being surrounded, some cookies looking at you in curiosity, others in fear. It wasn’t until one of them yelled out you looked familiar to someone named ‘The Baker.’
And then, all of the cookies switched from skeptical to happy as they approached you and bombarded you with questions. They didn’t look scared anymore, instead becoming excited.
GingerBrave and his friends pulled you out of the crowd and to some place private, away from the crowd.
They asked if you were the Baker. You told them you had no clue who that was.
Yet, they still called the baker, Wizard cookie claiming the resemblance was too close for you to not be the Baker.
You didn’t understand why they didn’t believe you.
They told you about Earthbred and did their best to calm you down. They looked visibly ecstatic from just being with you. You asked them if there was a way to leave this world. If there was a way for you to go home.
Home…Where was home again? You had paused when you realized you couldn't remember where home even was. In fact, you couldn't remember too much of your life before arriving here. Only general information about your family and friends. And even that was faint.
In your confused state, they had somehow convinced you to agree to stay in the kingdom for a while.
They gave you a tour of the kingdom and overall welcomed you into their world. You couldn’t help but feel better from their kindness. You didn’t realize it was getting dark until you could see the sun begin to slowly hide behind the trees. You had thanked Gingerbrave and his friends for the tour and offered to sleep in one of the free cookie houses for the night. To your surprise, however, they refused to let you sleep there.
“Oh no no no. You deserve much better, Baker!” Wizard cookie had proclaimed.
“Yeah! How about you stay in the Cookie Castle?” Gingerbrave said, already beginning to lead you to said castle.
Despite the amount of times you said it was fine, they insisted, and you couldn’t help but give in as they led you through the doors.
A few days after your arrival were spent in the Cookie Castle, being visited by GingerBrave and his friends and learning more and more about Earthbred from them.
And then one day, GingerBrave told you something that had changed your life.
“You know, all of the other cookies in the kingdom said they want you to rule over the Kingdom.”
You had spat out your drink in shock.
Rule the kingdom?! You couldn’t possibly do that! You just got here!
Everyone else, however, seemed to agree with the inhabitants of the kingdom.
“I-I think you’d do a really good job..” Strawberry cookie mumbled, making everyone nod their heads in agreement.
A crowning ceremony was arranged, and you were too overwhelmed to say no. How could you when everyone was pushing and begging you to take the throne.
And so, somewhat nonconsensually, you were officially declared ruler of the cookie kingdom.
All of the cookies cheered when the crown was placed on your head while you silently struggled under the weight.
After your crowning ceremony, a cookie named Pure Vanilla cookie heard news of your arrival and decided to pay a visit. When he saw how inexperienced you were when it came to ruling, he stepped up to teach you. He stayed with you, becoming an advisor and handling the more complicated duties that weighed on you while he taught you how to handle the easier ones.
He taught you polite manners and was generally very polite himself. He liked to take your hand while walking with you, and when you needed a break, he took you to the garden to admire the flowers and talk.
You slowly began to feel some of the weight lift from your shoulders from his help.
Yet, you still felt so out of place in this world. You thought’ you didn’t fit in. You thought you didn’t belong here. You couldn’t relate to anyone here.
This felt wrong. This felt so wrong. You couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable being in this castle. Sitting in this chair. You just stared down at your food, not bothering to pick up the utensils. You were lost in thought, but the voice of Pure Vanilla cookie forcibly took you out.
“Is the food not to your liking, Baker?”
You only shook your head, not making eye contact with him as you slowly picked up the fork and knife. You cut the jelly meat on your pate into smaller pieces so it was easier to eat.
“I’m fine.”
You softly responded, dabbing at your mouth with a napkin.
“Just thinking.”
Those thoughts lasted for a while, but slowly began disappearing into the back of your mind as you met the other Ancient cookies (minus White Lily cookie. Pure Vanilla never told you where she was). You were extremely nervous at first when Pure Vanilla brought it up.
“Do not worry. My friends are as curious as I about you.” He gently reassured you, taking your hand in his and squeezing.
You went to their kingdoms and met them personally. They were your first trips you took out of the kingdom. GingerBrave and his friends went with you while Pure Vanilla cookie handled kingdom affairs in your absence.
You found the Ancients to be quite interesting and unique in their own ways.
Your personal favorite was HollyBerry, though you’d never say it outloud to anyone. She was so welcoming and friendly and you couldn’t help but admire her strength and passion about helping and protecting her people. She could be a bit touchy and clingy at times, but you normally looked past it. She also gave the best hugs.
Golden Cheese Cookie was next. She gave you a tour of her kingdom, showing off her wealth and treasure to you, leaving you gawking at the amount. She seemed to be amused by your shock, taking that opportunity to blow your mind with the sheer amount of gold she owned. There were a few hints of possessiveness and jealousy that subtly slipped through her shiny and radiant exterior, but overall she was nice.
Finally, you met Dark Cacao cookie. You had to admit, you were a bit intimidated by him. You spent your time walking with him through his castle, idly chatting. He had a cold and serious exterior that put you on guard, but there were moments you could relax during your conversation with him. He’s gone through a lot, you’ve learned, having his trust broken more than once. You thought he didn’t entirely trust you, which you couldn’t blame him for. As quiet and serious as he was, you could appreciate how quiet he was compared to HollyBerry and Golden Cheese, who were more talkative.
You began to feel better with the new company you now had from the Ancients. You liked exploring Earthbread, you realized. The kingdoms you visited were so different from each other. It made you want to learn more about them.
Maybe.. Maybe there was more out there, somewhere on Earthbread, for you to explore.
When you brought this idea up with Pure Vanilla, he immediately shot it down. He said it was too dangerous. He said you didn’t know enough about Earthbread yet to even think about it. You tried your luck with the other Ancients and was met with disapproval.
Hell, you even asked Gingerbrave and his friends if you could go with them for at least one adventure, and they said no too.
You were upset at this rejection. You’ve been in this world for a while. You know enough about it, you believed.
That’s when you began to get desperate for something. Desperate for an exciting adventure. Desperate to explore. Desperate to escape these castle walls.
Yanderes
So literally almost all the cookies, both in and outside the cookie kingdom, practically worship the Baker. They try to give them offerings, free stuff, and overall treat them like a divine being. As nice as the offerings were, you were quick to protest, telling them to treat you like a friend instead of a god, because that wasn’t what you were.
Most of the Yandere behavior is seen by the Ancients when they see their baker begin to seem lower and sadder than usual because of their confinement to their kingdom.
They do their best to cheer you up in their own ways, while also becoming more protective.
Pure Vanilla doesn't really seem to change at all, but if you look closely, he has. You were always dependent on him. He was there almost since day one of your arrival, and has done nothing but help you. You don’t realize how dependent you’ve become to him, how you don’t know what to do without his guidance. He knows this well and subtly uses it to his advantage in keeping you here.
HollyBerry becomes even touchier, constantly having her arm around yours or on your shoulder. It’s her way of telling people to back off. Can’t they see your feeling sad and need her comfort at the moment?
Golden Cheese cookie wants nothing to come in between your hang outs and gets irritated when someone does. She likes to gift you little shiny and golden accessories like bracelets or necklaces. It’s her way of signaling to everyone you’re someone she cares about.
Dark Cacao was also on who kept change in behavior discreet. Or maybe he didn’t. The only thing he really showed was a willingness to get closer to you and trust you more. You assumed his protectiveness and somewhat sternness was a result of that.
You didn’t realize how protective they all were until you began to yearn for more adventure. And by that time, it was too late. They would never let you go.
#crk#yan crk#yandere crk#yandere cookie run kingdom x reader#cookie run kingdom#yandere cookie run kingdom
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I have a shadow the hedgehog request if its alright..? Can we have shadow with his gf who has a hard time eating? Hates the way they look and its getting to the point where they dont get at all starving themselfs..? Them shadow just gentley comforts them as they cry about how bad they feel about themselfs? Then trys his best to get a meal in them?..thanks and i hope your doing alright
more than enough
WARNING: (Implied) Eating disorder, body image issues, self-esteem struggles
PAIRING: Shadow the Hedgehog x Reader
NOTE: Thank you for trusting me with such a sensitive and important topic. If you ever need more comfort stories or anything else, feel free to send me a message. You’re not alone in whatever you’re going through.
SUMMARY: You've been struggling with body image issues for a while, and it’s reached the point where you've started starving yourself. Shadow notices the changes in your behaviour.
The apartment was quiet, too quiet, and Shadow knew something was wrong. It had been days since he noticed the changes in your behavior—the way you avoided eating, the distant look in your eyes when you stared at yourself in the mirror. Each passing day, it seemed like you were pulling away, and no matter how much he tried to get you to talk, you only pushed him away, retreating into yourself.
He found you sitting on the couch, knees drawn up to your chest, staring off into space. Your face was pale, and your eyes had the dull glaze of exhaustion. It broke his heart to see you like this.
“(Y/N),” he said quietly, taking a seat beside you, “we need to talk.”
You didn’t respond, only pulling your knees tighter against your chest, refusing to meet his gaze.
Shadow wasn’t one for words, but seeing you in this state made him want to try—he had to try. “I’ve noticed you’ve been… avoiding meals,” he said, his voice gentle, but firm. “You haven’t eaten anything all day. Why?”
Tears welled up in your eyes, and for a moment, you didn’t say anything. You had been trying so hard to hide how you felt, but now, with Shadow sitting beside you, asking the one question you couldn’t answer, the dam broke. You covered your face with your hands and let out a shaky breath.
“I-I hate the way I look…” you finally admitted, your voice breaking. “Every time I look in the mirror, I just… I can’t stand it. I feel disgusting, and no matter what I do, it doesn’t get any better. I just… I just want it to stop.”
The raw emotion in your voice sent a wave of sorrow through Shadow. He had seen you struggle before, but he didn’t realize how deep it had gotten until now. Guilt gnawed at him for not saying anything sooner, but he pushed it aside, focusing on you.
“You’re not disgusting,” Shadow said quietly, his deep voice low and soothing. “You are not what you see in the mirror. You are so much more than that.”
You shook your head, tears slipping down your cheeks. “You don’t understand… I feel like I’m never enough. I’m always… always hating myself, and I’m so tired, Shadow. I’m tired of feeling this way.”
His heart ached hearing you say that. Without a word, he shifted closer, wrapping his arms around you, pulling you against his chest. He held you there, letting you cry into his shoulder, his gloved hand gently rubbing your back in slow, comforting circles.
“I know it’s hard,” Shadow murmured. “I won’t pretend to understand exactly what you’re feeling, but I do know that you are enough—more than enough. Even when you can’t see it, I see it. I always have.”
Your sobs quieted a little as you leaned into his embrace, but the pain was still raw in your chest. “But how can you… how can you even stand to look at me when I feel like this?” you asked, voice trembling with doubt.
Shadow sighed, resting his chin on top of your head. “Because I don’t see you the way you see yourself,” he said softly. “You’ve always been more than just your looks. You’re strong, kind, and… even when you’re struggling, you’re still the person I care about. You don’t have to be perfect.”
He pulled back slightly, just enough to look at your tear-streaked face, wiping away the tears with his thumb. “Let me help you.”
You stared at him, your heart heavy but touched by his words. The truth was, you had been fighting this battle in silence for so long that hearing someone—especially Shadow—offer you comfort and support made the weight on your chest feel a little lighter.
But the ache in your stomach reminded you of how little you’d eaten, and a fresh wave of guilt washed over you. “I-I just don’t feel like I deserve to eat… I hate how I look, and every time I eat, I feel worse.”
Shadow frowned, his red eyes softening with concern. “I know it’s hard, but you need to take care of yourself. You’ve been starving yourself, and that’s only making it worse.”
He stood up and walked over to the kitchen, opening the fridge. You watched as he pulled out some leftovers, simple but nourishing food. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to get something in your system.
“Here,” he said, bringing the plate over. “I know you don’t feel like eating, but you need to. Start small, just a few bites.”
You hesitated, the thought of eating filling you with anxiety, but Shadow’s gentle eyes stayed locked on you, silently encouraging you to take care of yourself.
“Please.” he added softly, holding out the plate.
With a shaky breath, you nodded, taking the plate from him. It wasn’t easy, but with Shadow by your side, you managed to take a few bites. The food sat heavy in your stomach at first, but with each bite, some of the tension started to ease. It wasn’t much, but it was a start.
Shadow stayed beside you, his hand resting gently on your back as you ate. He didn’t push you to finish it all, but the quiet support he offered was more than enough to make you feel like maybe you could keep going.
When you finally set the plate down, you leaned into him again, feeling both exhausted and a little better. “Thank you,” you whispered, your voice raw but sincere.
Shadow wrapped his arm around you again, pulling you close. “You don’t have to thank me,” he murmured. “Just promise me you’ll let me help.”
“I’ll try,” you said softly, resting your head against his shoulder. It was still hard—there were still so many battles ahead—but knowing that Shadow was there, willing to stand by your side, made the road ahead seem just a little less impossible.
#shadow the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog x reader#shadow the hedgehog fanfic#shadow x reader#sonic fanfic#sonic fanfiction#sonic#sonic the hedgehog#x reader#ask#request#fanfic#oneshot
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Hey!
I have recently entered the fandom and have yet to read the books, but I’ve kinda spoiled myself all of tvl. I was wondering what was lestat’s relationship with his older brothers, if anything was ever mentioned. I know his older brother is Augustin and that the second one wasn’t named, and I know the marquis’ viciousness and his relationship with Lestat, but I know close to nothing about how Lestat’s relationship with Augustin and the other one was. If he loved each other, if they didn’t, what Augustin and the other one thought of Lestat and vice versa.
Do you mind telling me more about them? I’m positive I won’t be able to read tvl for another few months, so I’d appreciate it :D
Hey!
Welcome :) Hope you will enjoy your stay here!
Lestat's... relationship with his brothers (six older brothers, but only two of those had survived into adulthood) is... not good, to put it simply.
They are the ones who go and drag him back when he tries to run away, who lock him up, and beat him. They are the ones who mock him, and berate him. They are the ones scolding him.
Augustin is the one directly named, and so there are a few instances where they talk, or better, where Augustin berates Lestat or scoffs when Lestat tells of the wolves, for example.
"You little bastard, " he said coldly. "You didn't kill eight wolves! "
I don't think there was much love lost between them (all), at least from their side, Lestat was too different, and too full of life for the way they lived at the castle. There is this note that Augustin had "spent his wife's small dowry as soon as he married her." Lestat's family is impoverished gentry, and literally living off the meat Lestat brings back from hunting by the time the wolves happen.
Augustine is also the one who initiates the scene with the "impossible", which is referred to in 1x01, when Louis goes out onto the Fairplay balcony - Nicolas gives Lestat the fur-lined cloak, and Augustin scoffs:
"Now he will really be impossible! "
Which then leads to Nicolas famously saying (and that is what Lestat says in french when Louis steps out there):
"I too am impossible, Monsieur, " he whispered as I gave him the parting kiss. "Someday, will you let me come to talk to you and tell me how you killed them all? Only the impossible can do the impossible. "
This comment by Nicolas is important, but Gabrielle's comment after is also, because:
"But why don't you go down to the town and make a friend of him? " she asked. "Why the hell should I do that? " I asked. "Lestat, really. Your brothers will hate it. And the old merchant will be beside himself with joy. His son and the Marquis's son. "
His brothers will hate it... and both Gabrielle and Lestat want to break free, from their life and from his brothers - her sons - have talked about breaking free at that point, and in that conversation, Lestat confessed to dreaming about killing them all:
"Mother, " I said in a low voice, "there is more to it. Before it happened, there were times when I felt terrible things. " There was no change in her expression. "I mean I dream sometimes that I might kill all of them, " I said. "I kill my brothers and my father in the dream. I go from room to room slaughtering them as I did the wolves. I feel in myself the desire to murder... "
The relationship between them is never resolved.
Lestat's brothers die in the revolution.
I am not sure how the show will spin it, but in the book he is turned before that happens - and with the turning came money, from Magnus, and despite all the bad blood, the beatings and insults, the being locked up... he sends gifts back home.
He goes and purchases toys for his nieces and nephews to send home, and sends money directly. Dreams about renovating and furnishing the castle.
When they die, he thinks about them, often, falls into a depression after Nicki's death, refers to them at the same time that he does think about Nicki.
They are on his mind, despite everything. And I think he loved them, despite everything. They were... family. But an abusive one.
#Anonymous#ask nalyra#amc iwtv#iwtv#amc interview with the vampire#interview with the vampire#the vampire chronicles#vc#vampire chronicles#lestat de lioncourt#the brat prince#iwtv lestat#augustin de lioncourt#book quotes#the vampire lestat
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Y'all wanted the lore, so here ya go!
@localcanadiancreature62 tagged as requested
These are both variations of the Timestuck AU, so keep that in mind. Made these two AUs yesterday in the same hour of each other because I have brainrot and there's this really good timestuck fic I've been reading that got my brain rolling (Stan Overboard by itS_JuSt_a_thought on ao3).
Teen Dreams AU
Teen Ford ends up in 2013 with old Stan. Old Ford ends up with teen Stan in the early 1970s. The teen twins are from about a year after the science fair incident; so, teen Stan is a year into being homeless & teen Ford is a year into being in Backupsmore. No one knows how the fuck the Fords swapped places in time, but they need to get them back to their own timelines. This is all about two weeks before their birthday. Old Stan gets to see how teen Ford genuinely missed him back then. Old Ford gets a little glimpse of how teen Stan's situation was for him (this is during Stan's salesman days, think around the time he got banned from New Jersey and is heading to Pennsylvania). Teen Stan learns how much Ford cares about him and is protective of him, and he learns how to let someone else take care of him for a change. Teen Ford learns how much Stan truly cares about him and never meant to actually hurt him, which helps makes his grudge look pretty stupid in the long-run. Might have some 13 yrs old Dipper & Mabel help out in 2013. Would be interesting for teen Ford is get to know his future twin niblings & also talk about them to teen Stan when he gets back to his own timeline. PLENTY of moving parts via angst and hurt/comfort and the idea of Stan & Ford's inner-teen getting healed a bit.
Teenage Challenges AU [may change the name later, idk]
This one is the longer thought-out au, so buckle in! 13 yrs old Mabel and Dipper end up back in time with teen Stan Twins. Early 1970s an entire year after the science fair incident & Stan getting kicked out. Dipper ends up with Stan, and Mabel ends up with Ford & college Fiddleford. Fiddleford is about a year older than Ford because I say so. Their dymanics with their future niblings are more like older siblings and younger siblings than uncles and nibling because of being closer in age. Reminder that everyone is still in their teen years. The young Stan twins are between 18-19, and Fiddleford is about 19-20. So, in this context, there's like a 5-6 year age difference between the Stan twins & Mabel and Dipper. ANYWAY: Stan thinks Dipper is some homeless kid and he can't just leave him on the street in the cold, especially not when he kinda reminds him of his brother. Dipper mentions just wanting to get back to his twin sister, and well that's hits Stan's heart because that sounds a bit like himself in regard to loyalty to family. On the other side of things, Mabel has this very broken Time Tape she needs to fix to get back home. She mentions needing to find her twin brother, and with the fact that she reminds Ford of his time's Stan, well he's conflicted with feelings but he does his best to help her anyway. Fiddleford and Mabel get along quite well, especially when Mabel suggests a few ideas for his death bots that he "may never use but keeps the blueprints for because he may snap one day" & Fiddleford thinks her ideas are genius. Ford starts to see a little of himself in Mabel with her optimistic outlook when it comes to discovery and circumstances. She's also pretty good at certain math stuff and Ford admires her intellect. There's so much more with this, but this is so long already.
There, it's a post now. Have fun! And if anyone wants to write something or draw something for these, feel free to do so! All I ask is that you tag me 'cause I wanna see it :D
#teen dreams au#teenage challenages au#my au#gravity falls#gravity falls au#timestuck au#long post#stan pines#ford pines#mabel pines#dipper pines#teen ford#teen stan
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Kinktober Day 17: Marking with Seonghwa
Trigger warnings: none?
Content warnings: a little biting and marking (clearly), hardly an actual story i’m probably gonna come back to this one later and rewrite it
Summary: Your new husband can’t help himself on the honeymoon.
Word count: 0.9k
A/N: hi all 🥰 after much consideration, i’ve decided to repost my kinktober 2022 stories. i had a great time writing these a couple years ago and want to share them again now that it’s been a while and i’ve had time to fall in love with them again. i hope you all enjoy! and by all means, feel free to send a message or comment here if you’d like to be part of the new tag list!
Tags: @bahng-chrizz
Smut below the cut
“Hwa-” You giggled his name as he attacked your neck with kisses. “Can’t you wait until we’re back in the room? There’s cameras in here.” You pretended to struggle against him before ultimately giving in and letting him hold you from behind.
“Who cares? I’m not doing anything bad, just being affectionate with my wife.” He emphasized the last word and your smile grew wider as butterflies took flight in your stomach. You were finally married to the love of your life. You’d been married less than twenty-four hours so it still didn’t feel real and nothing was able to burst the bubble of marital bliss that surrounded the two of you. The only reason you weren’t still laid up in bed and were instead on your way back to the room was because you had to eat.
“Mm well your wife thinks you need to hold your horses.” You teased, watching the number change just before the elevator dinged. “This is our floor, surely you can wait until we’re behind closed doors.” You laughed quietly and took his hand, leading him off the elevator and into the hallway.
You managed to get down the hallway without issue but as soon as you reached the door and had to pause to get your room key out, his arms were around your waist again. You gasped quietly when he nipped at your skin, pushing the door open and lightly swatting his hand. “Stop trying to make me horny in public.” You whisper yelled at him, tugging him into the room.
He chuckled softly as the door closed behind him and took your things from you, placing them on the desk before turning back to face you. “That wasn’t my intention, my love. However, if that’s what happened, I’d be more than happy to resolve the issue for you.” He teased, stepping closer with every step back you took until your legs met the bed and you toppled over onto the mattress.
“Please do.” You murmured, looking up at him with a grin. You held your arms open for him and he quickly crawled over you, slotting himself between your legs. For a moment, everything was still as though time was frozen. He looked down at you with nothing but pure adoration in his eyes as you wrapped your arms around his neck, fingers tangling in his hair. “I love you.” You whispered, taking note of the way his eyes sparkled. You loved when he looked at you like you hung the stars.
“I love you more.” He whispered back before catching your lips in a slow, passionate kiss.
It didn’t take long for things to devolve and soon his lips were on your neck. He mouthed over the mark he’d left the previous night and you let out a soft sigh. “I still can’t believe you did that.” You laughed breathlessly, tipping your head back to allow him better access.
“What, that I made sure everyone knows you’re all mine?” He hummed against your skin, clearly unapologetic.
“Mm maybe I should return the favor then. Don’t you think it’d compliment the claw marks I left last night?” You teased and he suppressed a snort before pulling back to look down at you.
“I would love to wear your marks, darling.” He whispered, watching you for a moment before flipping the two of you over so you were straddling his waist. “Why don’t you give me some?”
You didn’t have to be told twice. You eagerly leaned down and pecked his lips before moving to press your lips against his jaw. He’d forgotten to shave that morning so his slight stubble scratched against your skin but it only turned you on further. You shivered when he let out a sigh close to your ear and moved lower on his neck, your kisses growing messy.
You were becoming more frantic with each open-mouthed kiss until you settled over his pulse point at last. You sucked on his skin as his hands, which had previously been on your hips, slipped underneath your shirt. You hummed and sucked harder, appreciating the way he couldn’t seem to hold still beneath you. You loved knowing how much of an effect you had on him.
You pulled back for a moment to admire the light red spot on his neck and he took the opportunity to remove your top. You allowed him to toss it aside before ducking back down to continue your work. Your teeth grazed the mark and his breath hitched. You couldn’t stop the satisfied hum you let out as you sucked harshly on his skin.
He started to relax when you showed no signs of attempting to bite him and that’s when you decided to strike. You sank your teeth into his skin and he let out a shocked moan, jolting under your touch. You sucked on his neck at the same time and were delighted to feel him getting hard under you. You fucking loved getting him worked up like this. You’d known for a while he liked to be bitten but you were always careful to do it when he least expected it.
You slowly eased up, releasing your bite on him and licking over the mark before pulling back. It was now bright red and would certainly darken in just a short while. “So pretty…” You sighed as you admired your work before lazily shifting your gaze to his face. “I wonder how many more you can take before you lose yourself and have to put me in my place.” You mused playfully and he smirked back at you. “I don’t think you know what you’re getting yourself into. I won’t break so easily. I think you'll be the one losing your cool, honey.” He was mocking you? Guess I’ll just have to prove him wrong.
#kpop smut#ateez#ateez smut#ateez seonghwa#seonghwa#seonghwa smut#ateez park seonghwa#park seonghwa#park seonghwa smut#kinktober#alura’s works
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