#feel free to share them or idk tag how many

[your-god-empress-lavender]

Henrow blorbo

first off, ohmyfuckinggodyouaresocoolllllllllllllllll

secondly, what ya workin' on currently? <- is deathly interested, yes please please please info dump if you have the spoons

- Ryan

Bonjour my furry friend. At the moment i'm mostly working on getting a job so that i can afford rent, but when i'm not doing that, i'm working on designing some new N-substituted 5MeO-tryptamines (in order to avoid being banned for breaking tumblr TOS, i can't say exactly what for, but if you look up 5MeO-tryptamines, you should see). So far i've only managed to make things that make me super sleepy (and maybe a tiny bit inebriated), so presumably my body is mainly metabolizing them into melatonin. I also have been working on working through the details of making a rocket engine which relies on both muon catalyzed fusion and z-pinch fusion (mostly because even though i know it's way above what i'm probably capable of, i just love space so much i desperately need to see it for myself and i figure that since rockets are so absurdly expensive, the only way i'll end up in space is if we can get a whole new generation of ultra-efficient rockets (for example, given p-N14 fusion, if we manage to get 1% or more (i don't really expect more than 0.1% max, but still) of the hydrogen fusing with nitrogen, we'd be able to put 150 tons on the moon from earth with only using about enough fuel to fill a small car (instead of needing a skyscraper sized rocket to send maybe 30 tons)). Now, if it were as easy as my calculations show it to be, i can't imagine how there are any rockets flown that aren't fusion, but seeing as i haven't even made a working proof of concept yet, i'm not in a position to criticize the thousands of aerospace engineers who are working on conventional chemical rockets. I love fusion because it's simultaneously so easy (i live pretty close to an old uranium mine where i can actually pan some uranium out of the creek near me, then use that uranium to make a neutron source (B10(α,n)) which is really just fusion between helium and boron, happening at room temperature because of how high energy the α particles released by uranium are) and so absurdly difficult (without catalysts like muons, it requires absurdly high temperatures and pressures that almost always take more energy put in than they can give out). Anyway, i've also been sorta working on studying a material that a while back i got way too excited over and may have called a room temperature superconductor (almost certainly not the case), but in an attempt to make it more pure and study it for real i've been trying to work on the exact calculations of its composition and finding a better way to heat it up to high temperatures (i might just but it in a flat-bottomed flask, especially since it finally warmed up enough for me to go back outside where the fumes released by its production won't make folks mad).

And then there's the biological experiments, currently with electroceutical tissue modifications since most of the other projects i have planned require me to have a gene printer capable of reliably printing genes thousands of base pairs long and i'm not sure when i'll be able to build that. The most recent thing i've been working on is really exciting because if it works it means that i've successfully done something that has never been done before to a human body (and given the long lasting pain in that part of my thigh, it seems very possible it is working), but i'm hesitant about sharing what the project is because i don't really want folks putting gap junction blockers, calcium channel blockers, and sodium channel blockers into open wounds without knowing how to do it safely and correctly to get the desired results and not just a really messed up wound. If/when this experiment turns out well, i might give directions in private, but i'm still somewhat hesitant due to the risks inherent in this (the biggest and most likely is literally giving yourself a form of cancer, something i'm not eager for others to risk). Soon i might try chemical dedifferentiation of skin cells (thinking on my back or upper arms) followed by some mildly dangerous experiments to test how reliably i can make it turn into other cell types. And while i haven't made good work on it in a while, i've also been trying to make something similar to shimmer from arcane (ideally not addictive or harmful to the user, but most importantly the quick energy burst, decreased pain, and increased regenerative abilities (obviously it won't be anywhere near as dramatic as in the show, so calling it shimmer may not really make sense, but it is where i got the inspiration)).

Then i suppose there's the battery project i was talking about in my last post, and i'm also trying to learn how to make alcohol under my desk (i mean, it's super easy, it just doesn't taste great). There might be a few more things i'm working on but rn i'm super eepy and have talked about a lot already. If this seems like i'm doing a lot or impressive, also note that i'm actively failing out of college (for my own pride: the material is super easy and mostly i already know it, i just can't stand wasting so much of my time doing homework that doesn't help anyone or anything) and not yet working a job, so i have a lot of time and so much free brainspace to think about and do all this. I also work very slowly on each thing because i keep bouncing back and forth between all of them and almost always end up adding new projects before i've finished the old ones and so i almost never see a project all the way through to completion (at least some of the bio projects are just sitting in my body and i am just waiting to see how they turn out in the next 2-3 months, so those necessarily will see completion, even if it's failure). I really hope i see the fusion rocket to completion because if i don't think i'll ever be able to see the earth from afar or the moon from up close.

[thisfanisgonesorry]

groupie love — hobie brown

guitarists dont get as many groupies as you’d think they do. 😮 

tags: smut, vaginal sex, mirror sex, hairpulling, hookups go crazy, dom/sub, teasing/praise kink obv, creampie bc i forgot the condom at home, brief cockwarming. bro is a lovesick idiot fr. possessive as HELL. porn w feelings kinda? infatuation? idk theres feelings! im mentally ill! pussy so good that hes down bad! consent is sexy tho.. parasocial relationships arent

(but it’s so hard sometimes with the star when you have to share him with everybody; and i know what you’re thinking of, you want my groupie love)

🕸️

One thing led to another and he was leading me through the backstage entryway, his arm draped over my shoulder as he walked with a pep in his step, filled with adrenaline and trying to get it out of his system in ways that didn’t end in him pouncing on me. (Though admittedly, that’d be short lived.)

Backstage was mostly empty besides a few select crewmates who overall didn’t seem too phased by my presence. Hobie greeted them as he walked past, as if he knew each one personally. The rest of the band had seemingly dipped, and weren’t too worried about Hobie being missing from wherever they’d gone to hang out.

“Li’l lady wants to check out the green room.” He winked at one of the crew as he continued, dismissing them to give us space. The green room was nice but it wasn’t his destination in mind. He stood there for a minute, looking down at me briefly, before spinning dramatically and pushing his back against the dressing room door, sliding in and pressing me against the wall in a fairly smooth action.

“Don’t think anyone saw that?” I muttered out quickly, it was more of a question as I really didn’t see much from the spin itself, caught a little off guard by the sudden movement and unable to process much until I was pinned firmly against the wall. The dressing room was small, and he took advantage of the fact.

“M’hm, no.” He shook his head, leaning in slightly. “Nah, y’re all mine.” He continued.

His hands lingered on my waist, his fingertips reaching under the fabric and restraining himself as much as he could as he felt the soft skin underneath.

“You seem energised.” I laughed softly.

“I’m fine, jus’ got my blood pumping. Was a good show. Can I kiss you?” He spoke quickly to the point where if you weren’t paying attention, you would’ve missed it. There was a short moment of silence where the air hung heavy as he waited, oh, how he waited so very patiently.

“... Yeah.” I nodded.

His patience ran thin, and his lips harshly made contact with mine, almost pushing my head into the wall. What a way to get a concussion. He groaned into it for a moment, enjoying the taste and licking my bottom lip slightly. My hands loosely hung around his neck, 

“Bloody ‘ell...” He muttered, pulling away and going down my neck. His free hand reached to the door, locking it before anyone could walk in. He was kissing and licking my neck, letting small bitemarks dance across the skin.

He began tugging at the hem of my shirt anxiously, wanting to just strip me bare, bend me over, fuck my brains out, but all in due time.

“Doors soundproof.” He commented. “Let me—”

One arm was wrapped around his shoulders, grabbing a fistful of the leather jacket and tugging on it to beckon him forward as the other grabbed his hand, pushing it closer. In hindsight, it was kind of sweet how certain he was letting things be.

He quickly removed my shirt that had his own band’s logo on it, throwing it to the floor and fumbling on the bra, running his large palms over the fabric. I leaned forward to kiss him again and his hands dropped to my hips, hastily (and harshly) dragging me to the dressing table, pushing me up against it. 

Our lips were reconnected once again, though the kisses were messy. My arm was still around his neck, my other on his chest. His hands began to slightly shimmy down my shorts and he moaned into the kiss. “S’pretty, darlin’, so..” He mumbled breathlessly, pulling away enough to let me kick off the shorts (albeit, struggling to because of my boots) and for him to shrug off his jacket. Both articles disappeared somewhere into the room to be determined later.

My hands lingered to his hips, reaching up and feeling his toned abs from under his shirt. “Y’so hot, Hobie.” I moaned back, feeling the way his stomach tensed under my fingertips.

“What? like ‘m not meant t’be fit?” He tried to joke as he palmed my tits again. 

“Didn’t mean it like that.”

He only responded with a laugh, kissing my neck and collarbone as he removed the bra, thrown to the side and his hands explored downwards in an attempt to remove the last of clothing.

“This aint fair.” I breathed, seeing him still fully dressed.

“Yeh, I know.” He responded, taking his shirt off, another piece lost to the room.

He ended up turning the light off, so the only light in the room was the one radiating from the mirror itself. He looked good like this but I guess that was the point. His face was flushed, it would be hard to tell otherwise if it wasn’t for the heat that it was giving off, you could literally feel it from across the room; his eyes were hyper focused and his lips were swollen slightly.

He leaned forward to kiss me again. “Y’re so beautiful.” He groaned.

“I was about to say the same thing.”

I reached down boldly, my fingers twitching to unbutton his jeans, to pull the zip down, to—

“Y’re gonna hurt y’self.” He joked, swatting my shaking hands away. “Touch yourself f’me.” He asked softly, trying to speak clearly despite his otherwise dishevelled behaviour.

I slid my fingers between my legs, toying with him as he watched between kisses. 

“C’mon, darl’.” He purred sweetly. “Work y’self open f’me, please?”

He swallows the moans that leave my mouth as I push my fingers inside, weakly thrusting as he continues to kiss me, hovering over me as he palms his hardness through his jeans.

“Hobie, c’mon.” I groaned, getting impatient with him. All he wanted to do was toy and tease me; holding me closely as his eyes scanned my naked body like a piece of meat, kissing as much of the flesh as he could, longing for the taste and feel under his lips.

“Alr’, alr’.” He drawled finally.

He pulled away enough to create distance between us, we both stood in anticipation, catching our breath slightly as he unbuttoned his jeans and pulled the zip. The jeans themselves were grungy, and his dick freed itself from the tight confines as quickly as it could, shimmying the jeans down to his thighs.

“No underwear? Anarchist goes commando?” I asked breathlessly as I continued to work myself, yet finding humour in comparing him to a militia.

He sucked in a sharp breath. “Y/n. Don’t.” He warned.

“You go pantless just in case some pretty girl would fuck you tonight?”

I poked my tongue out between my teeth, biting down on it slightly, wanting nothing more than to be testing my luck with him. He grabbed my wrists, removing my hand from my insides and holding the sticky, shiny fingers up. It looked filthy in the bright light, he tutted slightly before licking the fingers clean, grinding his hard cock against the slick folds.

He held both my wrists in place, making it impossible for me to fight him with the movement of his hips, he was careful that he wouldn’t accidentally push himself into me, whether or not that accident was with his own free will or not. He was enjoying this, the torturous nature of it all. Yeah, definitely don’t talk back to him.

“Feels s’good like this.” He tried to speak clearly; “Could jus’ fuck you like this, yeah? Cum all over y’r cunt, don’t even go in?”

“I’m sorry.” I quickly spoke when I realised he could just stay like this.

“You’re sorry?”

“Please, Hobie, fuck me real good. I’m sorry, didn’t mean it.” I pleaded, though he could tell the words were only half hearted.

He tried to laugh but it got swallowed into a groan. He threw his head back and released my wrists. “Yeah, yeah. C’mon.” He spoke, finding amusement in it. He hissed slightly at the loss of contact as he turned me around to look in the mirror, bending me over the dressing table.

His breathing quickened as he admired the view of me bent over the table, elbows supporting my weight and my pretty eyes looking up at him through the mirror. He swallowed thickly, still grinding lazily against the wetness as he tried to shimmy his pants down further, they got about a little past his knees before getting snagged on his boots and he realised that it wouldn’t go much further than that.

“Ngh.. Fuck, y’so good.” He struggled out, a low moan erupting from his throat. “Gettin’ m’cock all nice ‘n’wet.”

“Hobie, I’m sorry.” I threw my head forward, not wanting to look at our reflections. “Fuck me, please, want you.”

“I know.” He groaned as he aligned himself. He gave a harsh tug on my hair, forcibly making me look in the mirror. “Look. Watch.” He panted.

He slid his thickness deep inside in one slow, stuttery motion. I watched carefully, my mouth fell open and my eyes threatened to close. His eyebrows knitted together and his mouth mimicked mine, falling agape.

“Oh my fucking god.” I moaned out, unable to hold my head up but quickly felt the tug on my hair as he held my limp neck in position.

He buried himself completely, “Look at how I’m stretchin’ you out, y/n, my darlin’.” He grinned lopsidedly.

He began thrusting slowly, watching the faces that I made, his eyebrows stayed knitted like he was focused on my expressions and nothing else.

“So good, Hobie.” I muttered, my head threatening to dip forward if it wasn’t for his grip on my hair. I tried to squirm away from him and his grip on my hip got tighter. “So big.”

“Yeah?” He spoke condescendingly, relishing at the way I felt around him. “Y’ve been dreamin’ about this, haven’t ya’?”

“Mhm, all the time.” I moaned quietly. “Fantasise about y’so bad.” 

“I bet’cha always wondered how good I’d feel buried deep in y’cunt.” He commented, picking up his pace as he felt the warmth swallow him perfectly; it wasn’t necessarily rough or fast, but the size of his cock as it nestled all the way in was almost too much. Almost. “The real things s’much better, ain’t it?”

“Ah! Yes!” I cried, reaching back to push at his hips.

“Takin’ me s’well, darlin’.” He groaned, not letting up. He wasn’t being relentless but the position and the harsh pound of his cock was all too much at once, I closed my eyes tight and he fought the urge to give another harsh tug on my hair.

“S’deep, Hobes, baby—” I groaned, though it was immediately followed by pathetic whines which completely diminished the point I was trying to make.

“Why y’pushin’ at me, sweet thing? What’s wrong?” He teased, knowing damn well that there wasn’t the faintest of an issue.

“So deep.. So big. Slow down.”

“What? Y’don’t think y’can take it?” He joked through slurred speech, giving a particularly harsh thrust.

“Mhm!” I jerked forward with a whine, then feeling the harsh tug on my hair as my body pulled away from his tight grip.

“I think y’can take it jus’ fine.” He continued teasing, still desperately nudging my insides. “M’pricks too big f’you, ain’t it, darlin’?”

I shook my head weakly, keeping my eyes glued on his face as he fucked me from behind. “No, mhm— I can take it.” I struggled out.

“Y’doin’ s’good.” He slurred with a groan.

The audible wet sounds began to fill the dressing room and I could do nothing but let out a pathetic whine as I could feel the sticky liquid make a mess on both our thighs. The slickness was making it easier for him to slide in and out, using it to his advantage to fuck into me even harder. It did nothing to ease the slight slapping sound, and if that door wasn’t soundproof like Hobie claimed, we were probably being louder than the show itself was.

I shook my head weakly, jerking forward at his movements and taking whatever he would give me. “So good. So deep. So big.” I rambled, the only words that my brain could come up with at the given moment.

“I want y’to watch, darlin. Look at y’r pretty face as I fuck you.” He spoke, knowing I wouldn’t be able to open my eyes in the slightest, coming across like nothing but a cock drunk groupie whore, though I guess, it wasn’t far off. “Y’re basically droolin’ for me.”

“Keep talkin’ to me like that, holy shit, make me cum.”

“Eyes up here. On me. Y’got it.” He praised, his harsh tugs became more gentle as he got more stern in keeping my eyes on the view. “Keep lookin’, c’mon, darlin’, look. Y’re s’beautiful. All f’me, look at ya. So fuckin’ gorgeous.”

His voice began to ramble, whines and groans leaving his throat at intervals. 

“I’m trying.” I mumbled out; “It’s hard.”

“Darl’, ‘m not gon’ keep tellin ya’ to keep y’head up.” He moaned, removing his hand from my hair and rubbing figure 8’s right where I needed it. “Yeah, y’re gonna take it.” He panted, leaning over my body to press kisses on my shoulder and neck. “Take it, darlin’, doin’ good. Doin’ so good.”

I leaned my head back on his shoulder, looking down through half-lidded eyes at the filthy view of him fucking me into his dressing table.

“See? You can handle watchin y’self gettin’ fucked like a good girl.”

“Hobie, ‘m gonna cum.” I moaned, struggling to watch myself but worried that if I stopped, he’d pull his hands away from me.

“Watch y’self, good girl.” He praised again.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

“Fuck, can feel y’squeezin’ me.” He whined. “Cum for me, darlin’, s’pretty when y’clench this big cock, yeah? ‘M stretching it out, y’gonna be so perfect f’me.”

I took a bite out of my knuckle as I felt it hit, he slowed down slightly but kept the movements methodical besides the gradual slowing as he praised me throughout it.

“Hobie—” I cried out.

The way I clenched around him made him harshly hold onto my hip, the moans filled the room loudly as he fucked me through the wave. Small purrs of praise were audible but it was almost impossible to focus.

“You right?” He rasped out, slowing his movements to a halt. He would’ve cum right then and there if he didn’t have half the mind to prolong himself.

“Mhm.” I hummed, dazed and confused. “Keep goin’.” I acknowledged, wanting to make him feel good.

“Wish I could fuck a pretty thing like you after all m’shows.” He spoke sweetly in my ear, thrusting up again for his own orgasm, it started slow but he increased his pace when he began riling himself up with ideas. “Tease y’before so y’re all wet and ready when ‘m done.” He laughed softly. “Y’can help me warm up m’fingers for the guitar.”

He spoke softly and calmly as he could, feeling the wetness twitch around him from overstimulation. He kept this slow as he could, knowing that he didn’t want to end things just yet. His dazed eyes tried to memorise every detail he could; hooking up with a groupie meant the chance of never seeing them again, his movements on my clit picking up too; he was desperate to bring me pleasure, he needed this just as much as I did, which was saying a lot.

I weakly tried to keep my head up, watching his face attentively, he looked completely dishevelled with need; something about this was driving him crazy but all I could focus on was how good he felt.

He started kissing my neck again before deciding to ask a question he knew I probably wouldn’t answer otherwise. “Why ain’t you got’a boyfr’nd?” He grunted over my limp body, feeling himself hit the deepest parts and watching me react to it. My vision would go white and I’d jerk into the feeling.

“Don’t want one. Only want you.” I spoke matter-of-factly despite my dazed demeanour.

“Fuck, Y/n, Don’t say that.” He choked. “Wan’ keep you all f’myself.”

I groaned, pressing myself closer against his body. His arms wrapped around my torso, pulling me to stand upright and my arms reached around to touch him the best I could, though his hand stayed glued to the pussy that he’d grown infatuated with.

“Y’re gonna be thinkin’ about this for a long time, yeah?” He breathed. “Gonna think about m’cock fuckin’ into y’cunt?”

“Hobie—”

“I feel y’gettin’ close again. God, want y’so fuckin’ bad.”

His hand took a faster pace than what it previously was, rubbing hard and fast circles into my clit, wanting to feel me be undone on him when he cums.

“Better than I could’ve imagined.” I panted in admission.

“Y’re.. ‘M right there.” He moaned. “Y’so hot, makin’ me s’hard. Gonna make m’cum.”

There was nothing I could do to respond besides lewdly take what he was giving me, nodding weakly and trying to watch the view in front of me. He looked so beautifully debauched, and feeling his ragged breathing against my spine was something I didn’t know I needed to feel, something I unknowingly longed for.

“Mhm, y’can stay wit’ us.” He nodded, as if what he was rambling made any sense. “Bring you along, keep you f’shows. Darlin’, you’d be my perfect li’l groupie..”

His pussy-whipped drunk ramblings sounded like a love confession as he neared his release, knowing he didn’t want it to be over so soon but desperately wanting to feel the warm, tensing tightness around him as he filled me as much as he could.

“I want you, I want you.” I nodded back, too cock-drunk to care. 

“Cum f’me, y/n, cum with me, need— Oh fuckin’ shit.”

He groaned as he felt the clenching of my walls around his hard cock, desperately wanting to take him for all he’s got. Give it to me, give it to me, give it to me is the only phrase that repeated in my head as I felt the twitching and nearing signs.

“Give it to me, please, give it to me.” I pleaded through orgasm.

His body shook with want and he forced his eyes to stay open, needing to watch this unfold before him in a weak attempt to convince himself that it was real. Keenly watching the way my face contorted as I came on him, my eyes barely open enough to see the way his face mirrored mine. He let out small pants and whines, before his hips pushed deeply, his hips stuttering weakly as he filled me with his cum.

I felt the warm liquid between my legs, throwing my head back and sighing as I tried to relax from the high. Beautiful afterglow; beautiful boy. He collapsed forward slightly, holding me in place but using one arm to support us.

“It’s a really nice tour bus. Don’t even need y’own bed, just sleep in mine.” He continued in a whisper, pressing a soft kiss into the sticky flesh of my neck, nuzzling the hair away.

We stood for a moment before he pulled a chair from the side of the dressing table, slowly sitting us on it and keeping the position, his arms wrapped around me tightly like he never planned to let go.

I squirmed at the feeling. “Mhm.. Y’think?” I laughed softly; not taking him close to serious.

His eyes were heavy and he continued to look at us in the mirror, an unreadable expression as he buried his head behind my shoulder, his eyes barely poking above the flesh for him to admire the view. “I’m serious.” He mumbled awkwardly before going to a complete whisper. “Stay?”

[spookberry]

Shadow High series 3 my new beloved

I didnt even like most of em until i saw them in person, but the knowledge that they'll probably never be in the show has my brain in a "well its free realestate" kinda mood

Random list of information cuz ive been plotting out friend dynamics and background lore

-i like to pretend Rainbow High/Shadow High are actually Rainbow University/Shadow University cuz im in art college Right Now and i think it makes more sense with the whole dorm room situation. And also major makes more sense than focus IMO

-I changed Pinkie's major from film to just undeclared. I think she eventually does land on Film. She just has a lot of interests! Her dream has always been to one day direct films, and I think she comes to love them even more while developing ideas her with the group as she winds up in a Director/Producer position for most of them. BUT also every time she takes a class in a different program she cant help but fall in love with that way of making art too. So she has a hard time picking for a while and changed her major a couple times before landing on Film.

-Pinkie and Berrie bond a lot over a shared interest in vocal synths (tho Berrie knows more about them than her).

-The two made Pinkie's vtuber model together!

-the fandom wiki says PJ is from germany?? Idk how canon that is tbh but ive decided to embrace it i guess

-Rooney's canon name is Scarlet Rose, but i thought it was kinda lame especially when Rosie Redwood is also in this line sooo I renamed her! Stuck to the color name puns tho. Mar Rooney. Maroon. Haha

-Speaking on her though i love that shes from texas and likes writing scifi mystery type stuff and that being said i just Know deep in my bones that she was a Voltron Legendary Defender fan and Keith was/is 100% her favorite. She has a continued fondness for mothman specifically cuz of this.

-PJ and Rooney actually talk about fandom and shows/movies ALL the time. They dont have a ton of overlapping interests, but where they do? The two literally never shut up.

-Rosie is such a random character, like outside of her design she feels very poorly considered. So I scrapped the cosmetology thing and made her an illustrator instead! I think it works better with her love of making art in nature. I can see her being really into illustrated guide books. I think shes a bit snooty when it comes to art too. It takes being friends with other artists to become more open minded.

-I like the idea that Rosie is mainly friends with Rooney and Berrie ontop of that. The three of them often tag team storylines and how theyd interpret them into different mediums. Rosie will draw up a bunch of concept stuff while Rooney writes up a pitch bible and Berrie will start making shit move and throwing in her own ideas on camera angles and character designs.

-as an animation major Berrie was required to take a sound design class early on, which is where she met Oliver! Hes very laid back, and likes to go with the flow, but functions a little like the "mom" of the group. Often reminding the girls to take breaks, drink water, stop looking at their screens lest they get eye strain etc. He's multi-talented tbh but Music is his one true passion and he likes how the girls are always giving him collaboration opportunities.

-Oliver and Rosie like to talk sports a lot, both having played a bunch when they were younger and throughout high school.

-Lavender Lynn is Oliver's number one "person who needs constant reminders to settle down" she is in a constant buzz of trying to get the best shots and is utterly obsessed with the process of artistic documentation. Everything must be documented.

-the whole school loves her for this actually, she has a whole side gig where other students hire her to help photograph their projects. She saves everything she earns from this for her future dream plans to visit paris. She has it set really, many of the artists who she helps photograph now will remain steadfast clients of hers forever onward.

-PJ and Lynn actually took a print media class together at one point. Which didnt at the time spark an everlasting friendship. But it did give PJ an easier in to ask for Lynn's help documenting a project the group was working on. One of Lynn's first times photographing them work happened to fall on a day where Rosie had planned to trick everyone into going on a nature walk sans devices... Lynn wound up really appreciating this outing and decided to continue hanging around the group even after that project had ended.

[timefight]

LOVER OF MINE (02)

SYNOPSIS note to self, don’t break a singer’s heart. their next album will be about you. charlie bushnell can speak from experience.

CONTENTS nothing bad, charlie jokingly blocks leah but shes unblocked the next chapter

NOTE nah im not making this canon compliant im lazy anyways crabbush = charlie, chanelz = dior, leahsaveme = leah, walkthetalk = walker, ijbol = aryan, andrewnotgarfield = andrew duh dont ask me to explain the usernames djfndndn (but i probably will) ALSO idk how to do dms/gcs/texts 😭😭 any ideas???

DISCLAIMER i don’t own these pictures, i found all on pinterest! also the reader’s fc is asian and reader does play cindy moon, aka silk, in the marvel universe but feel free to change that to something that fits you!!

charlie bushnell/fem. reader smau

series masterlist. prev.

hanihoney just posted to instagram!

Liked by ethanitup, icespice, dior.n.goodjohn, and 248,831 others.

hanihoney me because tonight’s over :( aaaa thanks for having me and ethanitup perform ‘about you’ for the first time ever… that song makes my brain itch. ethan, thanks for sharing the stage with me, it was the best with you <3 ily guys sm!!

tagged ethanitup

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user0 HOW MANY WORDS IN ABOUT YOU?

user1 ATE!!

ethanitup its ok even if all my fans paid more attention to u than me … you outshine everyone else too so what can i expect

hanihoney is this … a compliment i hear?

ethanitup shut up hanihoney

user2 omg are her and ethan dating ??

user3 no, just friends

user4 so they say👀👀 user3

user5 stop speculating abt ppls private lives weirdo user4

dior.n.goodjohn your voice is SO gorgeous😭👀 duet?

hanihoney dont have to ask me twice 👀

dior.n.goodjohn omg i actually cant believe you replied

user6 the way we are the same age and youve done so much more than me …

user7 who is dior?? and how does yn know her??

user8 i think shes playing clarisse in the new percy jackson series !!! and i dont think they know each other personally i just think shes a fan of yn😭 dior likes marvel

Liked by dior.n.goodjohn

crabbush what the hell dior…

chanelz WHAT? you don’t know that im the biggest fan of her 😍🥰🥰 i love her

shessogone just posted to instagram!

Liked by olivvy and others.

shessogone how did his castmate find me

olivvy its not like youre the main character from a major franchise or anything

tatertitty why did you even respond too ^^

shessogone everyone kept tagging me in her comment!!! i didnt know what to do and it wouldve been obvious if i just ignored it bc i respond to a lot of comments usually especially if theyre from other ppl in the industry sjfndndn

ethanitup its not that serious bae shessogone

olivvy dont call her bae shes my bae ethanitup

ethanitup telling ur bf ur cheating on him olivvy

olivvy he said he’d understand if it was with yn ethanitup

ethanitup trouple???? 👀 olivvy

olivvy 👀👀👀 ethanitup

shessogone i mean if u dont mind me writing a song abt yall … 👀👀 olivvy

olivvy omg we can be the next haylor shessogone

shessogone oh my god fuck yeah olivvy

crabbush just posted to instagram!

Liked by chanelz and others.

crabbush why do u guys hate me

View all comments.

chanelz what are u even talking about

crabbush YOU.

chanelz ME??? what did i do crabbush

leahsaveme is this about her commenting on a certain someones insta post …

This comment has been deleted by crabbush.

crabbush SHUT UPP leahsaveme

chanelz WHAT???? leahsaveme WHY??? CHARLIE DO YOU HATE HER??? she didnt even do anything crabbush

walkthetalk wait who leahsaveme

crabbush oh my god

leahsaveme you DONT KNOW??? and its not exactly hate… chanelz

crabbush IM NLOCKING U DONT SAY ANYTHING leahsaveme

chanelz HOLD UP??? IMSG RN leahsaveme

walkthetalk WHO AR EWE TALKING ABOUT???

ijbol how do you not know did you not stalk charlies priv when we all followed him… walkthetalk

walkthetalk wait yeah but i didnt get very far tbh ijbol tell me anyways

crabbush DONT TELL THEM ANYTHING WHAT IS WRONG WITH YALL

leahsaveme i see you deleting the posts but i dont even have to have proof 😌

This user has been blocked by crabbush.

andrewnotgarfield you kinda did this to yourself bro shouldve just kept your mouth shut

crabbush shut up you know i dont think straight when it comes to her 😒 andrewnotgarfield

next?

🧾 © timefight

[xitsensunmoon]

Biting the Hand That Feeds au FAQ (Vampires + donor au)

Any general content warnings for bhtf au?

Yes. A normal amount of fnaf warnings, a normal amount of vampire warnings. For someone who doesn't know I elaborate... For vampire stuff, the most obvious ones are blood, hypnosis, bites, and animalistic behaviour. Less obvious - slightly suggestive themes. For fnaf - fnaf's usual violence, dark themes, a drop of gore and murders. The lore is uh. Very dark. I will try to decrease the amount of all of the cruelty but man. People who know, know how hard it will be. But I will tag everything properly so don't worry.

Is there a fic for your au?

No. And currently, I'm not even planning on writing one.

How do I find the story?

For now, we have two comics that are directly connected and one that doesn't have a specific place in the story but is about canonical lore.

[ 1 ] - [ 2 ] - [ x ]

In future, we will have more and I probably absolutely will forget to update this post so I recommend checking the tags. Here's the tag list

Tip: don't click the tag. Tumblr hides half of the results. Type it in the blog's search instead :)

Are the comics the only canonical thing about au?

No! I answer asks and draw a lot of doodles with bhtf au all the time and 90% of them are canon. You can, yet again, find everything in the tag list linked in the previous question.

Can I draw/write fan stuff for your au?

Yes, please!! I'm always happy to see fanart and fan writings and literally everything that you do! Just tag me when you post and use a fanart or fanwriting tag for au specifically so I don't miss it!

Can you include my characters in your story?

No, unfortunately, I cannot. The story is already written and I don't have any "space" for background characters either. Maybe it will change but currently, things are like this.

I asked a question with an interaction with my characters and I never got an answer, why?

I don't accept such requests. I'm not ready to spend my time drawing other people's characters for free(if I personally don't want to, of course)

Is there any limit to how many questions I can ask?

No, not at all! You can ask all you want just please make sure your question wasn't answered before. There is a big possibility I will just simply delete it if it was answered beforehand many times. Check the ask tag for it.

What about limitations? Any boundaries?

Please no questions about tickling🧍‍♀️ I got so many of those it already makes me uncomfortable. And for some reason, a lot of people send asks that include violence towards my characters and while I don't really feel uncomfortable with this I just idk what to answer and why are you even doing this lmao

What questions I should avoid?

Well, not really avoid but I will mention it anyway.

The things I have planned to draw right now:

- Sun and Moon and y/n's first meeting

- The creation of Sun&Moon

- Why S&M are sensitive to light and darkness

- How they hunt

So no need to ask me about these. I will show it, I promise.

What about sexual themes?

I understand that I post a lot of suggestive stuff and it may appear I allow such a thing but no.

You can create content with it tho, I don't mind for the most part. Just be ready that I may not reblog it, as my Tumblr is a SFW place. It's always 50/50.

Romantic themes?

I do draw some kisses and cuddles when I feel like it and you of course can send ideas for cute interactions but in the story we're very far away from it lol.

My question gets ignored even though I followed everything that you mentioned here. Why?

Answered in main FAQ.

Can I share the ideas for your au with you?

YES!!! Yes, yes and yes! I'm very open to that, like yes! The only thing that I definitely want to mention - you should expect that I actually can take your ideas and use them. Some people are protective of their ideas so if you're like this you probably should not share them with me :)

The information that you're using for your au is wrong.

Happens sometimes yeah. I know nothing about any medical stuff for y/n so I usually improvise. After all it's an au about robotic vampires man, this information is absolutely wrong. But! You're free to drop feedback/constructive criticism in my inbox!

Will be updated later

[ziseviolet]

This is for East Asian hairstyles in general but idk where else to ask this(and this does include traditional Chinese fashion): How much of women’s (or men’s though I would guess mostly women) hairstyles was composed of wigs? Feel free to just answer this in relation to Chinese hairstyles specifically if answering for any others deviates too much from the blog purpose.

Hi! Thanks for the question, and sorry for taking ages to reply!

Historically, it was quite common for Chinese women to use wigs to create their hairstyles, as many historical hairstyles were not meant to be done with real hair -- although I don't know the specific percentage of women who did so. Wigs became prevalent in China starting from the Spring and Autumn period (771-476 BC) when they were popularized by upper-class women, and were widely used by women until the 20th century, when hairstyles became simpler. Wigs could be made from real human or animal hair, other fibers, paper, or wood.

The following posts/links discuss wigs in Chinese history in more detail, please check them out!:

Historical wigs (with images of artifacts) by @fouryearsofshades

My post addressing the use of fake hair in historical Chinese hairstyles with more info/images by @fate-magical-girls

Specific wigs during the Southern dynasties and Ming dynasty by @chinesehanfu

The history of wigs in China by New Hanfu

The history of Chinese hairpieces by Five Thousand Years

Chinese traditional hairstyles & hairpieces by National Clothing

As for men, they typically put their hair into a bun and encased it in some kind of covering (cloth, hat, cap, headdress), so there was no need for them to use wigs. However, as I explained in this post, some men would insert a wig/towel/other material inside their hat/cap to give it more structure.

To this day, wigs/hairpieces/extensions are necessary and commonly used in creating traditional Chinese hairstyles.

For more information and references, please see my wigs tag for all posts related to wigs and hairpieces.

If anyone has more info on this topic, please share! ^^

Hope this helps! (image via)

[unreadpoppy]

Fic recs

In light of some stuff I saw, I decided to make this post to briefly talk about some fics I really like and recommend them. All are BG3 related and most are Raphael. Also, there's some authors that write a lot of great fics, I'll try to keep one fic per author or else we'll be here forever (but definetly go check everyone and their other works out!)

...

Cheerful Oblivion by @sassyandsodone - Read the tags before reading this but Love me dark stuff, the writing is amazing (legitimetly gasped at a few points) and the mix of Tav not remembering what happened and the dehumanization aspects were the cherry on top. It

I Don't Think About You Anymore (But I don't think about you any less) by @sky-kiss - This fic put me in a lot of different feels, ESPECIALLY SAD (which i do like, love when stuff makes me feel) and the ending was unexpected to me but it made it all worth it. Shed a tear or two

Devil's Debauchery by ChildofYugotth - One of the first fics I read on the Raphael tag, the first chapter lives in my mind rent free for many, many days, and I really like how the three chapters kinda go like regular raphael, haarlep and then ascended fiend, like a progression. Also read the tags.

Fallen in Flame by @cambion-companion - Love the dynamic between the two characters and how their relationship developed and the conflicting feeling that Tav has of like, being an aasimar and dealing with a devil

The Devil that knows you by @timesthatneverwere - Cat!Tav was not something I knew I needed before reading this. The relationship between Tav, Raphael and even Haarlep in this one is VERY interesting to me (and has lowkey inspired me some times) and I love seeing Raphael keeping secrets and manipulating people (also i have to mention, this fic gave us the mephisto fuck chamber)

Let the dream begin by DiscordsMuse - POTO inspired, this has hit me in the feels with relating to Morrigans struggles of feeling rejected, and honestly, Raphael as the Phantom was amazing.

finirà bene by @inaconstantstateofchange - A Halsin/Astarion/Tav one for a change, this is such an interesting and heartbreaking concept, but there's also this sense of mystery that I think is really well done. Also, beware the ANGST

Her soul will burn all the way down by khapikat222 - Read the tags, another dark fic that I loved, and this one had this manipulation and fucking with someone's fears that I really liked. Also, props to the author for making the lullaby fit, it was a great cherry on top.

Baldur's gate 3 infernal oneshots by @hrefna-the-raven - chapters 1-4 are a little story between Raphael and Tav that I really liked. The dynamic of raphael being more protective and the cat and mouse analogies were really fun!

The Intimacy of Pain by @bearhugsandshrugs - This is an Abdirak/Tav fic which I found so delightfully good, like the descriptions of how Tav was feeling and the mix of pleasure and pain were really well done

The Devil's Hour by @adarlingwrites - Also one of the first fics in the tag that I read, and what made me like OC x Canon, love the complicated but also interesting to read relationship between Fortune and Raphael, and another aspect that I really liked was Fortune's relationship with art and her parents being brought up like (like idk why but those two things really stuck with me)

Sweetening the Deal by @adevilyoudo - I have to admit that I'm a bit behind on some chapters BUT it's a great work, love seeing this side of Raphael of trying to convince Tav to take this deal (and in a way, almost confusing her even more) and I loved to see the side of the Emperor constantly being in Tav's head, I think it really conveyed well how that feels like when playing the game

The Devil You Share a Room with by @djmorn - Really fun concept and the shennanigans between the two in the beggining, when Tav is reluctant to share a room with Raphael, was a delight to read and really really fun.

Damaged by @dark-and-kawaii - This is a Rolan/Tav one, it's dark but it also tugged at my heart in a sad way, with Rolan feeling all these things and doing what he does because of the abuse he suffered and Tav also trying to understand that. Like aaaa it just, it's some good stuff this fic

Who's the Daddy by Follyfall - This fic is the definition of fun and a good time, I legitimetly laughed a lot while reading it. The writing is fun, the concept is hilarious and the relationship between Raphael, Tav, Haarlep, the baby and Wyll is really really fun.

...

Also, keep in mind that there's A LOT of amazing writers in the bg3 community and i haven't read every single written work in the tags ever, so feel free to also reblog and add reccomendations of your own, or make your own post!

[eoieopda]

[visual content blog recommendations]

we see fic recs all the time, but i don’t think i’ve ever seen rec lists for visual content (gif/art/gfx/etc.) creators! they’ve been dealing with a bunch of shit lately between reposts, tumblr garbage, etc., so i wanna shout-out some favorites. thank you for keeping us fed!!

disclaimer: this is not an exhaustive list!! if you have recommendations of your own, please feel free to expand on this yourself and/or drop some of your faves in the replies for others to see. self-promo is always welcome here, too ✨ p.s. some of these are recent finds for me, so pls expect to see more of them on my blog. eta: i will be adding more as i go!!

[bts]

@yooboobies — réka’s gif sets are *chef’s kiss* and the ART? omg. the talent!!! 😭 we simply have to simp.

@cordiallyfuturedwight — apart from being one of the coolest/funniest people i’ve found on army tumblr, i am a kayla stan because the niche themes for her gif sets (ex. bangtan turtlenecks series) feel like they’re made 👏🏻 for 👏🏻 me 👏🏻 even though they absolutely aren’t, lmao.

@hopeinthebox — the bts as reductress headline + incorrect bangtan series are probably my favorite pieces of content on the entire internet??? also, lizzy is absolutely gd hilarious. tags are 11/10. a blessing upon my dash.

@kimtaegis — i’m not visually artistic enough to say this in a way that makes sense, but annie’s gifs are just… stunning? like, the colors? idk about the process that goes into that, but i imagine it takes a lot of time/finesse to be this vivid.

@kithtaehyung — ryen is the renaissance man of army tumblr, fr. not only can she write (like!!!) but she’s multi-faceted and insanely creative with her graphic design. i want her to tutor me, lmao.

@raplinenthusiasts — ooohhhhh my god. the coloring of their gifs makes my brain go brrrrtttt. this bts x the office set is on my “always reblog” list; i’ll share it every time i come across it.

@heybaetae — this set in particular is on my “always reblog” list, no matter how many times i’ve done so already. also, idk how to describe this, but kelli’s gifs are just…. crispy 🤌🏻 like, so satisfying with the…. texture? filtering? contrast? i’m an idiot re: editing terms, but go peep them and you’ll know what i’m trying to say.

@kth1 — literally who could ever forget maggie’s 100 days of (member) series??? the amount of work that had to go into that? unfathomable.

@jeurias — i want to wallpaper my house and office with their gfx. i’m deadass.

@jinstronaut — emmeline has been doing her “a jin a day while he’s away” series for OVER 250 DAYS NOW. i have never been nor will i ever be able to commit to anything to this level.

[multi/skz/atz/svt/etc.]

@starryoong — do not get me started on starry’s paintings, sketches, etc. because i will never shut up. ever. j’adore 🫠 is also a five-star human being.

@irlvernon — my queue is probably 80% max gifs at any given time. god-tier, fr. a must-follow for carats, as far as i’m concerned.

@vcrnons — incredible gifs, lovely human, and also the writer of some of my favorite svt fics??? we stan.

@yelhsaart — i don’t have any words for how much i love their art so please imagine guttural screaming instead. asdfghjkl!!!

@hizuillu — ……breathtaking. legitimately stunning skz art. like…… i have heart palpitations.

@snug-gyu — THE USE OF COLORS. i’m always a simp for pantone-inspired sets; they just scratch an itch in the back of my brain, and BOY HOWDY, is my brain satisfied 😵‍💫

@yunwooz — again, i have no idea what i’m talking about when it comes to the gif-making process, but the colors!!! the COLORS!!! like, taking a mv that’s not super vivid/is fairly greyscale and bringing it to life? ya know????

@booskwan — you want incredible gifs? they’ve got em. you want stunning gfx? they’ve got em. seriously, idk what to tell you except “pause right here and go follow immediately”.

@haechannabelle — listen……. annabelle’s art style is 😗🤌🏻 (that’s a chef’s kiss). the use of color, and the technique, and and and — ! ALSO, i must mention that she took, like, 50 hours to compile a boycott-friendly k-pop playlist. their vibes are simply impeccable.

rev. 4/10/24

[raz-writes-the-thing]

The Odd Cuddle (Supernatural Drabble)

Casifer x GN!Reader / requests are open

Summary: Flirty Casifer cuddles. That's it, that's the fic.

A/N: I saw this post from @peacockwinchester and idk- it sparked some inspo

Fic type: fluff

Supernatural: @wereallbrokenangels @nervoussystemss (send an ask to be added to a tag list!)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Lucifer, your beloved. Your Liege, your Lord, your Prince of Darkness. To be quite frank, you'd never been worried about what he could do to you if he so pleased. You were nearly as old as he was and had seen him in many forms with many faces since the dawn of time. You'd loved them all the same.

You'd had many faces, too, of course. You'd tried them all. Like a card collection, almost. But Luci had always been most fond of your original- and when he'd finally been able to bust free of the Cage in Castiel's form, he'd used up some of his archangel juice to restore you a corporeal form true to your very old, very original body.

"Oh, how I missed this," you breathed out, feeling out those long-lost and yet familiar contours of your form.

"Mm, me too. No such views in the Cage, it would seem," your love replied, pulling you closer so he could wrap you up in his arms. Upon seeing your eye roll, he added, "Darling, no view anywhere could compare to the sight of you."

You allowed him to pull you closer and against his chest. Trailing a finger down his stubbled cheek, you teased him with the promise of a kiss only to pull back at the last moment.

"I quite like this face on you, dearest. It's handsome, and... cuddly," you said, trailing your hands down his chest to wrap around his middle. You sighed contentedly, settling into his chest as he wrapped his own tighter around you.

"Me too, pet," he answered, pressing a little kiss to your forehead. "I have to admit- after spending several millennia in the Cage, I've grown quite fond of the odd cuddle."

"And I am pleased for it. You know I am all for a good, long, cuddle," you told him affectionately. Luci released one arm from you and snapped his fingers. Suddenly you were both lying down in your shared, luxurious four-poster.

"Now this is the life," you stretched out like a cat, practically purring as you pressed your warm cheek to his colder, now-shirtless chest. He always did run cold.

"It sure is, cupcake," Luci tapped your nose, lips upturned in a cocky smile. "It sure is."

[mrscarmenbearzatto]

mae girl! i’ve been living for your carmy stuff. k know you’re just getting back but i’ve been thinking about this idea for a while and i believe the last writer i shared with had gotten deactivated. this might be two ideas instead of one so feel free to do whatever you desire. idk why but would you be down to write some fluff and angst with maybe like married!carmy? maybe something where nat and pete legit ambush carmy and his wife to start talking again? but it like a lighthearted fluffy kinda way at the same time ? utilizing the scene carmy yells at syd as a base- i hate to use that scene as an example but it’s one that comes to mind when writing this atm. anyway, like the reader doesn’t work at the bear but’ll come in on her days off and mornings before her shift to help them open. and carm is already on edge about something going on in the resto and he yells at his wife out of overwhelming frustration. evidently, he’s mad at himself for it after he does it he apologized but she’s all like “no.” and she’s literally giving him the silent treatment. ofc her and nat are besties and loves her sil, so i totally see nat roping pete into getting carmy to come over whilst the reader is already on her way since they haven’t spoken in a while. both nat and pete are literally doing whatever they can to keep these two in separate spaces of the house because neither carm or his wife have any clue they’re there. maybe like y/n is inside with nat and pete meets carmy outside on arrival? the reader is walking towards to the door to out and nat’s still stalling like “so are things with you and my brother?” and the reader scoffs and nat’s just like “still not talking to him huh?” and while the reader grabs the handle slowly opening the door open she’s all like “look, sugar- you know i love your brother, but carmy sometimes can be a piece of shit” and then all you hear is carmy being like “oh, i’m a piece of shit- even after i apologized to you?” and i can just see carmy and the reader being like wth is going on here. idk but nat and pete will sillily have to do the most to get these two the civilly sit down inside of their house to even have anything of a talk. and then nat team tagging with pete to get to the bottom of things and then she lets it slip that y/n had mentioned that they were trying to get pregnant and camry’s just like “wait. what? and carmy already up and ready to talk to her alone. this man would be so loving the first time all like “y/nn can i talk to you in the kitchen for a second?” and then she’s tryna explain and carm out here using her FULL name “in the kitchen now.” just hearing how he’d say it makes me squirm and squeak 😂😩. and she’s just speeding over because she knows he means it when he pulls out the first name. and think with that he’s all just hurt that she told his sister and he hadn’t really said anything- since it was their thing they they were still figuring out. seriously feel free to do whatever you desire. just sharing the same idea i’ll dream about in a few moments. tysm in advance 😭.

- 🥣.

i'm so sorry this took me so long to write, my love! this has nothing to do with you i just got a bit concerned and got lost so many times lmfao, im just dumb like that

ʚɞ

naturally, carmen wants to try to keep his anger away from you. you’re his love, his angel, his everything. the idea that he blew up at you makes him wanna cry but you won’t talk to him, you refuse to in fact until you process what he said.

“why the fuck are you here?! i don’t need you messing shit up and crowding me!” he yelled at you. the memory fresh in your mind. it should be since it’s the only thing you’ve thought about for the past few days.

nat and pete, in their own ways, notice this and take charge. pete thinks you two can handle it but nat chimes in with the, “i know my brother. he can’t handle shit. If this is left up to him to resolve, nothing will happen. i love him but still.”

so they form their plan. pete invites carmy over to set up furniture, catch up, whatever and nat invites you over to talk about the baby and ask for your help with meal prepping. “so, have you and my brother talked about what happened at the restaraunt?” she asks.

you walk over to the couch, putting on your jacket and scarf. you let out a scoff as your answer. “taking that as a no.” nat answers. you put your hand on the doorknob, your back to the front lawn where carmen and pete, unknowing to you, stand.

"look, you know I love Carmen. and you know i want-" you sigh. "i want a family with him, Nat. i want a child, or children, with the guy. but your brother can be a real piece of shit sometimes." You open the door fully at that point, where carmen's now staring at you.

"i'm a piece of shit, after i apologized to you?" carmen asks. you stare at him before looking at pete, then at natalie whose got a guilty smile on her face. "okay. what the hell is this?" You question.

"oh! carmy, hi! i had no idea you were gonna be here. come on in, we'll all have some coffee and we can talk about what's happening." natalie says as she pulls you inside, motioning for carmen to come inside.

he reluctantly agrees, stepping inside as he sits at the dining room table. you stand in the kitchen, far enough away from them.

i think once nat reveals that you told her you want kids his reaction changes. maybe you two talked about it or maybe he doesnt know but either way, he wants to talk to you. that changes things in his mind. because you still want kids with him.

while you and carm work out your own issues, of course nat and pete take credit for it, even though you and carmy are both mad at her. also the idea of carmen using your full name as a way to call you stop oh my gosh

[lostfirefly]

If you wake up in your bed, alone in the dark, I'm sorry I gotta leave you before you love me

You're the owner of a bar where one evening a blue-haired pirate comes and you both play a drinking game.

Just a random shitty shit :) Masterlist

OPLA Buggy x F!Reader

Words: 1301

The title is talken from "Leave Before You Love Me" Marshmello and Jonas Brothers.

English is not my native language, errors may occur. As always, feel free to share your thoughts :)

Taglist: @gingernut1314 (idk if you wanted to be tagged :))

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

The bar was full of pirates that night. The air smelled of rum, whiskey, tequila, and cheap tobacco. You, the bar hostess, was wiping down the bar counter, made of solid oak, listening to different stories from the drunken sailors. Some told about mermaids, others about how they miraculously avoided meeting with sirens, others in their stories were invincible pirate kings. 

“Alright, Benji, no more whiskey for you. You need to go home, your wife is waiting for you,” You said, taking the half-empty glass from the hands of the man who was barely standing. 

“One more glass, please! Hone-e-y! Don't be a pest! O-o-ops!” The grey-haired man reached out for another glass, but he couldn't help himself and fell to the floor.

“No more! Get out of here. I’ll tell Frank to walk you home,” you said and threw a towel over her shoulder.

It was late and it was raining heavily outside the window, but the bar was still full, despite the imminent closure.

The front door swung open, and you heard heavy footsteps.

"A bottle of whiskey," the man's voice came. 

You, who was wiping her glass with a towel at the time, looked up. A large man with blue hair, green eyes and red nose, dressed in a brown fur coat, leather pants and vest sat behind the bar counter and stared at her intently. 

"Whiskey. The best one!" He repeated his order once more and put his gloved hand on a counter. 

You turned to the shelves behind her and among the many bottles of different alcohol, picked out a huge bottle of well aged whiskey. 

“Here. Enjoy,” you moved him the bottle, which was decorated with drawings of dragons and ships, "The best in our town." 

You glanced at him for a moment. “You're not from around here, aren't you? Because I haven't seen you in my bar before."

"Your bar?" The man raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Yeah. Why are you so surprised? Don't tell me you're the kind of man who thinks a woman should stay home." You poured whiskey into a glass and slid it into the man's hand. He remained silent. 

"Not at all. It's great, I guess." He took a sip of whiskey. “Tell me, isn’t it scary for such a nice girl to hang out in this bar at night, among drunken sailors?”

“I’m already used to it. At least tell me your name, stranger. There shouldn’t be a person without a name in my bar.”

"What strict rules. Buggy. Buggy the Clown."

"Very nice, Buggy the Clown. And me (Y/N). Well, what are doing in our city?"

"We'll dock to replenish our supplies, and then we'll move on."

"So, are you one of those treasure hunters? Or one of those good pirates?"

"Baby, it's rude to ask things like that when my poster is on your wall." He pointed his finger at the poster stand. "I'm kind of a celebrity, you know?"

You laughed. Continuing to keep order in the bar, you could not get rid of the thought that the green eyes of this strange man, who was wearing makeup, were watching your every step.

“You know, Buggy the Clown, I’m a little embarrassed that you’re staring into me with your eyes.”

He made a face and crossed his arms.

"Listen, drinking alone is boring. Join me." 

"I’m working." 

“Come on, you've got some drunken bilge rats here. Grab a glass and let's play 'I've never..'"

You looked around the bar, assessing the condition of the visitors. Half of them were already lying somewhere on the floor. The other half was about to leave.

“Okay, let's play." You took out a second glass and placed it on the counter. You poured whiskey into a glass and added ice. “Well, a cute stranger with the name Buggy the Clown, I’ll start. I’ve never have never fallen asleep in public.” 

Buggy looked at you and the glass for a long time. And took a sip of whiskey.

“I thought so!” You laughed.

“What about you?” Buggy asked, sipping whiskey.

“Noo! I’m a good girl.”

“You work in a bar, you can't be good!” He laughed like a maniac. “Ok, my turn. I’ve never have never had a one-night stand.”

You both looked at each other and sipped your whiskey. 

“And you say you're good?" Buggy said in a mocking tone. "Na-ah!"

“I work at the bar. Can you imagine how many pirates come here? But I have to admit, you're the cutest." You took a sip and blushed. “What about you?”

“I’m a pirate. Is it necessary to continue further?” He smiled widely. “Well.. I’ve never have never tried to make an ex jealous.”

You sipped your whiskey. “He was a jerk. He needed to be taught a lesson. You?”

“No! I swear!” He raised his hands.

“My turn! I’ve never have never sneezed on a stranger.” You looked at the clown pirate with curiosity. He smiled, started laughing and took a sip from his glass. “Ew! Gross!” You started laughing too. "Ok, ok! I've never have never spent money that wasn't mine to spend."

"Seriously? Is this a question you ask a pirate? Better bring a bottle of whiskey right away." He poured himself another drink and drank it in one gulp.

You were playing when the last customer left the bar and you were already finishing your fourth bottle of whiskey. You could hardly stand on your feet.

“Ok! Last question! I’ve never have never held a grudge longer than a year.” You waited for a couple of seconds and took a sip of whiskey. “You?”

“It’s a long story. I want to skip this question.” He became visibly saddened.

“Who is that bitch that broke your heart?” You said in a drunken voice. “She’s the greatest pig ever. Look at you! You’re cute!” Staggering, you came out from behind the bar and walked towards him.

“You really think I’m cute?” Buggy took your hand and pulled you towards him.

“Of course! Your blue hair, your red nose, your makeup. You are unusual and cute.” You sat on his lap and wrapped your arms around his neck. Buggy looked at you with a clouded look.

“Listen, when are you leaving?” You asked, trying to focus your gaze.

“In a couple of days, what?” He asked quietly and hugged you.

“So we have time!” You grabbed his hand and led him upstairs to the room.

The next morning you woke up alone in bed. You felt the pillow that was lying next to you with your hand. A sheet on which there were traces of cosmetics and clearly not yours. The other half of the bed was empty. You clearly remembered last night. His heavy breathing on your skin, his hands on your body and the words he said to you. You put on a shirt and went downstairs. Buggy was sitting on a chair and was already pulling on his second shoe.

“Are you going to leave like that and not say goodbye to me?” You walked up to him, put one arm around his neck and looked into his eyes.

"You were just fast asleep. And I.. well, well.."

"I see. Listen.. It seemed to me that.. Well.." You walked closer to him and kissed him on the lips. “if you’re still in our towns or will be one day, come to see me. I liked you. In every sense.”

You noticed how he became noticeably nervous. He took his coat, and returned the kiss.

He ran his gloved hand through his hair. "I will keep that in mind, baby."

You closed the bar door behind him, leaned on it and whispered. "Damn, I really wanted you to stay."

[egs-n-bacon]

can u do matt stone x fem reader sleepy sex?!

Omg yesss I will

Tags: established relationship, smut, p in v sex, no condom, fingering, nipple play, L bomb, fem!reader

☆☆☆

It had been a long day, and Matt had just gotten home from work. An exhausted look was sprawled across his face. He walked up the carpeted stairs to your shared bedroom.

When he opened the white door, he saw his wife, laying in the bed wearing her t-shirt and a pair of satin panties. You were barely asleep, yiu looked up as he walked into the room.

You greeted him with a small smile, asking him how his day at work was. He didn't answer, just pounced the bed, you got the hunt and started to fall bak asleep. Right after you closed your eyes, you felt a pair of lips on your neck, peppering your neck with soft kisses.

The corner of your lips quirked up, and a smirk graced your lips. You turned to him and pressed your lips against his, kissing him lovingly. You placed your hand on his neck, bringing him closer. Your lips moved simultaneously as time went, and the kiss got more and more heated.

He pushed his tongue past your lips, massaging your tongue with his. Your breath hitched. You loved him so much that just kissing him made you feel extreme pleasure. He ran his hands down your side to the hem of your panties. He then pushed his hands inside them, his breathing pattern speeding up.

He ran his index finger through your wet folds, covering his fingers in your slick. You disconnected your lips from his for just a second to let out a whine. You already felt your stomach twist in pleasure. He took his index and circled your clit lightly, your pussy making many squelching noises.

You put your hand on his shoulder, squeezing it. He slide his hand down further, inserting two fingers into your dripping cunt. You let out a loud moan, the feeling overtaking you. He pushed them in and out at a fast pace.

It didn't take long for a knot to pull at your stomach. A pleasureful feeling pooling in your stomach, you let out a few high-pitched whines and whipmers. He took his other hand and circled your clit, this was enough to make you burst. Waves of pleasure washed dover you, you back arched and you and a pornographic moan pushed pasted your lips.

He gave you a few minutes to calm down, your pussy still pulsating before he crawled over your body, now on top of you. He pulled his pants off, and it now pools at his knees. He also pulls your shirt off, letting your breasts free. He leaned down and wrapped his lips around your left nipple, sucking it gently.

As he was doing so, he pushed himself into you, and you let out a groan of pain and pleasure. He began bucking his hips into yours. You bit his shoulder to suppress the moans coming out of your mouth. He thrusts started to become sloppy as he neared he release.

You felt the familiar feeling fill your stomach right before you came with extreme eagerness. He came not soon after, covering your insides with his cum. You both were breathing heavily. You gave him one more kiss, long and sweet. Before turning and laying on your side, both of you fall asleep quickly, but not before saying goodnight, and I love you.

----

Idk this kinda short and not proofread, but I hope you enjoyed it :))

[elkkiel]

Sorry friends, this is gonna be a long one. I feel like speaking in a space where someone may see and perceive what I'm saying is helpful to personal accountability. Please feel free to skip, it's more of a thought dump than anything (I am midway through writing now and I think I lost the plot a while ago lol)

Topics covered: grind culture, mental health, self-care, and learning when to manually sound the alarm for yourself as an audhd-er in the deep end of life.

Here's some tags that I left on the the grind culture reblog before this. I just wanted to share some thoughts and didn't want them to get lost; I feel like making a proper post really solidifies the situation (sorta like getting those abstract thoughts from your head onto paper, and realizing just how bad it is when it's all laid out before you.) And I want to make a change when I can finally get my head above water.

I think it can be especially difficult for us AuDHDers, since we don't necessarily have alarm bells installed that neurotypicals in similar situations may have but "choose" (consciously or not) to ignore. Things can really spiral into a bad place quickly if you don't have the cues or signs to alert you. We need to be diligent in doing those manual checks ourselves, KNOWING that we have struggles that make life just that much more difficult.

Take inventory of your life. Do you allocate time to self-care activities, and/or are those the right activities for you? Turns out for me that building a complex skin care routine (as suggested by mainstream self-care culture) only stresses me out more. Especially when I never have the energy to do it, making me feel bad when I only manage to do the basics *sometimes* (and the stress acne persists smh my head). My therapist recommended productive activities that involve both current hyperfixes and that ADHD Motor™. I want to learn basic carpentry over the summer, since I love working with my hands! For now, drawing masked men as cats will suffice (though I will not complain about the kittenification of my faves)

Choose a moment to consciously feel how your body is feeling. Check in with yourself! This is important for my alexithymia bitches. Are you more fatigued than usual? Are your muscles tense for some reason? Have you been hungry with no appetite? If you notice anything, let's make some connections—really dig into it. The instance I mentioned in the tags above was a really clear one for me. I took like 12 hours on the IV in the Ivy art instead of coursework, and that weekend I slept almost 22 hours. A few days later, I'm still in a cycle of horrible fatigue and excessive sleep. Connecting the trigger event (taking the time to create "unnecessary" art) to current sensations (extreme fatigue) is giving me insight into how stressed I actually am that I wouldn't have really seen otherwise.

I'm also feeling more and more aware of how activities and things become a bit of a crutch to avoid expending energy on social activities. Idk how many other people deal with this particular problem, but I have almost zero social drive. Like I legitimately don't feel the need to meet people and see friends. Almost 100% of my social needs are covered by talking to my parents, chatting with the girls at work (while at work) and passively absorbing interactions from complete strangers within earshot. It's one of the big things I'm continually documenting for when I can finally afford to get evaluated for autism (babygirl I don't even have enough for the ADHD assessment yet and that's more crucial for disability stuff lol) and it makes life real tough.

Not having the time nor the drive to invest in relationships really stunts you as a person in my experience. I don't know how to actually quantify what makes a friend (e.g. are we friends because we are Tumblr mutuals who haven't had an actual conversation but hype each other up in notes?) and I don't have any time to learn. I can't participate in leisure activities that may take some of the pressure off since I haven't been able to practice initiating interactions. It baffles me how some of the girls at work just casually meet up outside of work, or make plans out of the blue in a conversation (how tf do you gauge when/if to propose something????)

Like, it's bad. I haven't seen my best friend in a year and a half, and even the term "best friend" almost definitely isn't accurate in this scenario anymore. It's just another stressor that could potentially be avoided by lifting one's nose from the grindstone, but it's so intimidating to even try at this point. I don't feel the drive to be friends, but something tells me it's healthier than being alone with my work and thoughts.

Idk I think that's all I have for now. I definitely went on a tangent or two that don't connect back to the original idea so apologies for the letter-based vomit.

ty if you read any of this, if you have any thoughts or input I'm always open for replies or asks. The world is big and fast and horrible and confusing a lot of the time, but I think sharing experiences helps to keep things in perspective.

maybe I'll ask more targeted questions for community input some other time because I'm genuinely curious how to navigate around social deficits (the "who is a Friend and why?" thing especially because I genuinely have zero clue)

anyways have a good day, drink some water, take ur meds, and be kind to yourself

[cherryhanji]

oneshot. bang chan x female reader

⭐ synopsis: winter isn't one of your favorite seasons. But what if it's spent with someone who provides you not only smiles, but also those fuzzy feelings and crazy heartbeats?

⭐ genre: roommates to lovers au, college au, fluff, angsty tones

⭐ words: 11k

⭐ warning(s): foul language, mentions of childhood trauma, poor attempt at interpreting kissing scenes aaa

⭐ tags: @starlostseungmin @starlighthan (if u wanna be added on my taglist, u can drop an ask!)

alexa's note: sorry! this took waaaay to long but this is basically a rewritten version of my story "winter shenanigans". i just changed the title bcs i think it's better(?) haha idk i just feel like i need to change it. i wanted to rewrite this bc i feel like i can give it more improvements and make it better than the first version (i hope so) i hope u like it!

a bit of a disclaimer: i never experienced winter, so i'll just write everything what i feel or think about winter and what others do when winter comes. (but i do want to experience it!)

Winter isn't a season you're really not fond of unlike the others. Going out just to flash your new purchased glamorous parka and wasting several dollars for an overpriced hot coffee isn't in your bucket list. Winter doesn't bring you fun playing with snow, making those snowballs and having some snow fights with your loved ones. Walking around the street and feeling the freezing cold air wash your face as you look at everyone who seems to love it. Winter isn't your most loved season especially when the memories it brings you were the ones you really want to forget and leave from the past.

So instead of doing those things people love to do when winter comes, you'll just dwell in the confines of your home, watching those old Netflix series you love watching so many times to the point you memorize every characters' lines. Room heater on and a cup of ramen resting on your hands.

Amidst the season, you and your roommate Lexi always plan on going grocery shopping, agreeing on a day where both of you are free of schedule. The task is dreadful when you try to keep up with the people who seem to love hoarding the supermarket before the season starts. As if they'll run out of everything "they need" during the winter. So grocery shopping is best when you think most of the people were literally out everywhere but the supermarket.

But now, you feel like you are slowly draining out of energy as you look at your roommate while she puts her things inside her big ass luggage bag, a gift from her mother whom she'll be staying with until God knows when.

"Text me please when you arrive, hm?" You said with a small voice, not showing Lexi your soured expression but knowing completely you failed. 

Lexi is like your sister, living with her ever since you started college. So it's really disheartening to know she'll be out of your shared apartment in a few hours. 

The reason is important, and you completely understand it. She needs to go home, but it doesn't get rid of the fact that you'll be away from her, and will make you alone, emotionally and physically. You were never the one to make friends at all, scared to talk to people but managed to befriend some, and Lexi is one of them. Having the same interest and vibes, being able to understand each other are some of the reasons your friendship was built.

"Of course lovely, I will. I know how much you'll miss me. And I'll miss you too." Lexi cocked her brows, giving you a lopsided smile. 

"I really hope you can come back soon. But I think I'll be graduating alone if it happens again." You said. There you are again, you know you sound a bit selfish now, having abandonment issues ever since you were a kid fucks you up real hard, struggling to accept that people really do come and go. You just don't want everything that happened before to happen again.

But you were so aware that it will not happen with Lexi's case. You were just starting to miss the dynamics you used to have while living with her. 

Lexi sighed as she tried to brighten up her smile. You can see that she too, was trying hard to be strong. Going back to her hometown to take care of her ill mother, leaving her one and only best friend from the city and moving to another college is harder than she thought.

"I hope so too. I hope mom will get better so I can just go back here and not transfer to a different university anymore. But I am not sure what's about to happen. But I am really hoping I can come back real soon." She admitted, finally closing the bag she was preparing.

"And y/n, I know how much struggle you feel when it comes to meeting new people. You don't have to force yourself to talk to everyone. But please, don't dwell on being alone, my love. There are lots of people who badly want to befriend you. You're such a sweet girl. I know you prefer being by yourself, but I can see clearly you're happier whenever someone talks to you." she rebuked, Lexi knows you like the back of her hand, notices even the things you never knew you were doing.

"I-I don't think so." You muttered. You sure weren't confident enough to face a conversation with a person you knew you were talking to several times, let alone a complete stranger you never once talked to. One reason you never went to those acquaintance parties Lexi invited you everytime she went. 

You heard your friend click her tongue, making you turn your gaze to her. You sighed as you were met by one of her signature looks, always giving you those whenever she's disagreeing with something you just said.

"O-okay, fine. I don't promise but I'll try, because I don't like to miss you so much like I do now." You scoffed, making her let out light chuckles.

"That's my girl. To think that winter is coming, I want you to find someone you can spend those dreadful times with whenever the season is here." She snarked.

"Nah, will just spend my days here wrapped like a burrito while watching Squid Game." You remarked, Lexi looking at you dirtily.

"Girl, don't tell me you're gonna watch it for the fifth time?" Lexi questioned and you just nod proudly.

"Of course, I will. No one's gonna stop me." You said while your friend just let out a sigh, giving up at your antics.

"Okay whatever. Anyway, Mrs. Yang told me someone already got my space." Lexi announced, making your ears perked up at her news. You weren't against new roommates, you know yourself you can't afford to pay the whole rent and you need someone to share it with. But you didn't expect it to be this soon, you weren't prepared to entertain a new roommate!

"Wait, what? This soon??" You questioned and she just nodded.

"Yep! Don't have any idea who it was but Mrs. Yang told me they're studying in the same university." Lexi exclaimed as if she was the one who will live with the new roommate. On the other hand, dreadfulness starts seeping in you just by thinking of the prospect of having a new roommate. The idea of living with a stranger, and having no idea what will be your relationship with them in the future, starts to eat your mind. But despite that, you didn't show Lexi your weariness, instead giving her some neutral reaction even if your introvertedness is already screaming.

A week has passed and you still haven't met the said new roommate. You didn't even bump into Mrs. Yang, which you think is much better because you didn't have any idea how to grasp some update about your new roommate. "I just want to ask when will my new roommate arrive so I can at least clean the apartment."  "May I ask who my new roommate is? Lexi told me you told her they're attending the same university as me." Questions keep on popping on your mind but in the end, you were glad you never bumped into her and just cleaned the whole apartment in case your new roommate will arrive.

School break was about to start. You were more than relieved to know you completed all the work and backlogs even before the break starts. You may hate the winter, but you'd rather make yourself busy with something else than dealing with your activities or any school related work.

After having a small talk with Felix, you bid yourselves goodbye and started to walk on your way home.

Felix is a blockmate and one of the people you prefer talking with whenever Lexi isn't around. You grew accustomed to him when right after your first activity as partners, he still approached you like you've known each other for a while now, clearly wanting to befriend you. Not wanting to look like a bitch, you just let him be, also because of his bubbly persona. Like Lexi, Felix is the person next to being comfortable. You like the energy he's emanating whenever he's around.

You were solemnly staring at the window of the bus when you felt your phone buzzing against your pants pocket.

from: Mrs. Yang (YW APT.)

hi dear, just a heads up. your new roommate might arrive later or tomorrow evening. just want to remind you so you can prepare his space. have a nice day dear!

to: Mrs. Yang (YW APT.)

thank u for informing me, Mrs. Yang. have a nice day too!

You don't think you were ready enough knowing that your roommate is a guy. You don't have any problems with guys. It's just you feel awkward most of the time when you talk to the opposite sex. But you realized it doesn't worry you unlike the first time you knew about having a new roommate. Thinking about what Lexi has said, maybe it's not that bad to have new friends, besides her, well, also Felix (you consider him as one from now on.)

The said roommate arrived the next day. With his luggage bag and some boxes, he strived to bring them altogether inside even if you offer him a small help by pulling his luggage (you tried to make a good impression of yourself even if you're already feeling awkward as hell)

In the end, he let you pull his luggage when one of the boxes he carried totter from his hold, chuckling awkwardly when it finally fell. Talk about people and their eagerness to bring all of their things at once.

You tried not to sound and look awkward as you showed him the whole apartment, and finally his own space, his bedroom. You did everything you need to do to make it look presentable and clean. You don't have any idea if your new roommate is a clean freak, so you did it just to make things sure. You don't want to have a complaining roommate after seeing their room covered in dust and dirt.

"This is nice. I have never seen a room this clean. Or is it because my old roommate is not that of a clean freak." He said, chuckling. You must admit, his laughs are angelic. You never heard a guy laugh that cute. Or maybe because you never tried to make a guy laugh ever. Well Felix, is a different one, guy is scary when he laughs. Felix is the only one you can use to compare with the other guys. It was like, he is your standard of guys as you've never been with others before.

"Uh, yeah. I did clean it well. I don't want my new roommate to see his new room dirty." You said, showing a sheepish smile, hoping you won't look like an idiot to him.

"Nah, it's good. I am happy to know you gave your efforts in cleaning my new room. And as I can see, I think I won't have any problems with dealing with trash. Though I am not that sensitive to it, but, isn't it better to see your place neat? It makes you feel relaxed." He grinned. 

Something about him appeases you, the way he is talking to you, it was comforting. As if you guys were already friends. He looks friendly and harmless, someone you can easily approach whenever you're having concerns. 

But then again, you tell yourself that typical phrase whenever you meet someone. "looks can be deceiving". Most people tend to act politely whenever they meet with someone unfamiliar. But either way, you'll try your best to have those decent talks with your new roommate.

You don't even know each others' names yet.

"Uhm...Anyways, I'm Y/n! I hope you'll have fun staying here from now on..." You mumbled the last words, encouraging him to continue it by telling his name.

So he flashed you a smile and replied.

"Chan, Bang Chan, or Chris, whichever you like, but Chan is good, though.. I'm certain I will enjoy having you as my roommate, Y/n. And uuh, thank you again for cleaning this for me. I hope pulling my luggage bag inside didn't bother you. I'm sorry again for the small accident earlier, I just want to bring everything inside at once. A habit, yeah?" He chuckled, recalling his habit that led into a small accident at the front door earlier.

"No worries. Doesn't bother me that much.." You admitted. You feel like the atmosphere was slowly getting awkward, the smile on your face is unfortunately faltering. Wanting to not embarrass yourself furthermore, you tried to change the topic, letting him have his own time as he fixed his things.

"Uh, I would like to excuse myself now if you don't mind, so you can fix your things, it's getting a bit late now. So you can also rest." You said, checking the wall clock hanging just beside his bedroom door. The clock reads 10:20 pm and you're feeling a bit sleepy now. Chan just nods, and flashes you a friendly smile.

"Oh yeah, sure! Sorry to delay your sleep, but I'll be good. I'll just fix these tomorrow morning. Good night, y/n." 

"Good night, Chan."

Winter has finally started. Just like usual, you were met by lots of people who seemed to enjoy the little droplets of snow that are starting to fall. And good thing your worn out parka (a gift from Lexi almost three years ago) is still holding on, the zipper was already broken yet you were too lazy to get it fixed. Parkas are expensive as hell and you'd rather stick with this one, especially when you're not going out frequently when the season is here.

Grocery shopping went on smoothly, but this time you were alone. Almost three weeks had passed since Lexi left the apartment yet you still feel the longing for your friend, thinking that it won't get rid that easily especially when she's the only person you do this with and many other domestic things you can think of.

You feel all your limbs starting to give out when the view of your apartment door reaches your sight. Walking home from the supermarket is a fun thing to do, but you realized it was only fun when you have a company, specifically Lexi. Having someone help you bring the other bags. It was exhausting, but at least you came home with your complete limbs. 

You opened the door softly, you felt like breaking into your own apartment when in fact, you just wanted to see if Chan was in. Almost two weeks of living with him and you still feel shy when he is around. You tried your best to not look awkward whenever you talk, because the last thing you ever wanted was to make him think he's making you uncomfortable when in fact it's not.

Chan is a nice roommate. An organized one, you might add. So far, he never did anything to make you a bit distant to him, you were just shy, and the fact that you do find him attractive just adds to the predicament you were feeling. How can you engage with a long conversation when the first thing you always do is stare at his face? He might think you're weird if ever he noticed that action of yours.

You will pass by Chan's room whenever you go to the kitchen, so when you tried to grab some bottled water for yourself, you heard someone talking, surmising it was Chan. Maybe he's talking to someone as you hear other unfamiliar voices. You didn't mean to eavesdrop, but how can you not when you just heard your name in between the conversation?

"I just don't think we can do that now, I moved just two weeks ago, I don't want y/n to be uncomfortable"

"She's my roommate. And I still don't know if it's okay for her if I invite you guys over. Even if I am basically paying the rent too. But I don't want to scare the girl with two other guys she 7barely knew, walking around her house. We're not even that close yet."

Something about Chan talking about you makes you want to hear more. Even if you tried your best to stop, since listening to others' conversation isn't morally right.

"Hmm? Yeah..? She's pretty though, but a bit shy. I don't know why, I want to talk to her more but I feel like she doesn't even want to be near me, yikes." You heard him chuckle. And that's how you stumbled on your feet and almost knocked the big ass vase beside his door. 

Nice, just a nice way to expose yourself.

You heard him finish the call as you tried to compose yourself, making sure you didn't look like you were just literally beside his door, listening to his conversation with his friends.

Him calling you cute confused you, you don't have any idea what you did or what you have for him to call you cute. On the other hand, it made you feel ecstatic as if you just won a competition. A person you just find attractive admits that he finds you attractive too, how can you not hyperventilate by it?

Your eyes widen when you heard the doorknob shuffle, your time to run to the kitchen as if nothing happened just ran out before you even try and now you were met by a flabbergasted Chan, because he never expected you to be there, he just literally thought that the sound came from elsewhere and he's curious to check it.

"Oh, hi Y/n. Didn't know you already arrived. Uhm... How may I help you?" Chan's voice seems to ebb away as your eyes start to focus somewhere else, preferably his exposed arms, he was wearing this shirt that was made into a sleeveless one, his arm muscles tensed when he rested his arm on the doorframe, it's like he's literally giving you the honor to check him out. But it's not, of course. He's toned, and even if this is the first time you saw him showing a bit more skin, you knew that he's the type of guy who spends his time at the gym.

Exactly your type.

You were just fished out of your "checking my roommate out" by Chan's voice calling your name, worry etched on his annoying attractive face. 

"Is there a problem? Was it the noise I heard a while ago?" He asked and you tried your best to gather yourself up before flashing him a smile. Putting an end to "making yourself embarrassed in front of Chan" again.

"Ah no.. I mean, yeah. I just arrived. Uh, actually I just passed by your room then I almost knocked the vase, sorry if that disturbed you." You said, biting the inside of your cheek. God, you think this the most awkward time you ever had with Chan.

"Are you okay?" He said and took a look at you before looking at the vase that just sits perfectly as if nothing happened. The vase was heavy, and you were more than bemused as to why it made so much noise when you accidentally hit it with your feet.

"Oh yeah, yeah! I'm good. Just a bit clumsy." You assured and gave him a small smile. You were stuck in silence when Chan spoke again.

"Uh, may I ask you something?" Chan started, while you looked at him, urging him to continue.

"Uhm, I know I just moved in here a few weeks ago, but I do want to ask if I can bring my friends here? Like, we really need to finish this project of ours and I am the only one who has the most needed equipment and we need to use it. Uh, I promise we won't make so much noise! Uh, I'll tell the--" Chan stopped his blabbering when you suddenly let out a giggle.

"Of course. You can invite them over, I really don't mind. After all, this is also your house." You said. Realizing this is his issue since earlier while talking to his friends. You really don't mind at all. Lexi also did invite some of her other friends here before, sometimes inviting you over which you gladly did, but most of the time you stay in your room. You can do it with Chan. After all, he has his share of paying everything in this apartment. So he can do whatever he pleases, you just hope he's a bit mindful of his surroundings.

"Oh yeah right, thank you though. Uhm.. Do you have some rules, like things you don't like whenever others come in here? You know what I'm saying?" He questioned and you got it right away. He's really considerate. What a gentleman. Makes you want to just jump at him and kiss his pretty lips.

Oh, that's too much. 

He's your roommate, for god's sake.

"Uhm.. Just try not to make too much mess? I'm fine with everything really. Just, that." You shrugged, while he gave you a thumbs up.

"Copy. I assure you, you'll never have a problem with us." Chan grinned. You were slowly running out of ideas to say so you tried to excuse yourself from him, which he gladly let you do so. Too much happened from that short conversation, you think. Him calling you cute, him wanting to talk to you but you were so shy he doesn't know what to do, him almost catching you eavesdropping on him and his friends, you checking him out. You just hoped that he was gullible enough to not notice your lingering stares on his arms, to not make yourself embarrassed. Too much for you, eh?

Can you really keep up with your attractive roommate?

The day Chan's friends decided to come over was just as peaceful as you want it to be. Except his other friend, Jisung if you weren't mistaken, has been the noise provider in the once peaceful apartment, together with Chan's other friend, Changbin.

Chan apologizes over and over again for his friends' enthusiasm, things that you really don't mind at all. 

And as promised, Chan and his friends stayed inside his room to work on their project. You just knew he's a music major, and it was dead obvious as you always hear him play different tunes, some music that's pleasant to the ears, you even had a favorite one, the one he was playing last night, the same music they're currently working on.

Chan just casually playing those music for free, makes you wonder how he looks whenever he works over something. Is he the serious leader type? Is he the one to goof around but does work well? Or is he the quiet one while working but then surprises you with his amazing ideas. 

Whatever it may be, it still makes your heart pound as if you just ran a mile. But why is that? Just thinking about him makes your mind go haywire, are you having a crush on your roommate?

It's incredulous, isn't it?

"I just thought about it but, do you know someone named Lee Felix?" Jisung asked you as he munched his pizza. After working, Chan had invited you to eat pizza with them, ordered right after they finished work. At first you were hesitant, since you weren't really that close, and you really don't have any idea how to open a conversation with them. But the persistence his friends have was indelible, so you just gave in and joined them, and good thing their chattiness saved your sorry ass. Chan was also talkative, one thing you didn't expect. Maybe because he's around his friends. But he's not like the other two, they seem like they have endless topics brought with them.

"Hm, yeah. He's my classmate, why?" You replied, his mouth making an "O" shape as if he realized something.

"I knew it. That's why you look familiar! You were always with Felix after his classes. You may not see me but I always see you with him." He mused, 

"Oh wait, that sounded creepy. But yeah, I saw someone with him, and I realized it was you." he continued. You tried to recall all the times you were with Felix and bump into someone he knew, but you don't remember a thing. Maybe because you were busy thinking what activity you'll do next or what will Lexi cook for dinner.

"Oh well, sorry for not remembering a thing, but are you related to him? Like, friends?" You questioned and Jisung nodded his head in response, pointing at Chan who was walking out of the kitchen, his mouth full of pizza and his hands holding a bottle of water. Like a deer caught in headlights, you chuckled at his astounded look.

"What? Why're you pointing at me?" Chan raised his eyebrows at Jisung who was unfazed by his friend's dirty look.

"Felix is Chan's cousin. They basically lived together in Australia when they were kids. I wonder why Felix never told you about Chan. You guys just met when Chan moved in here right?" Changbin said and pointed at the two of you, you nod in response.

Changbin was right, you didn't know but you felt a bit betrayed by Felix. He was also as talkative as the three, but never mentioned about his hot cousin to you. But what was the reason in the first place? Why does Felix need to mention his cousin to you? 

But you just brushed it off, after all, Chan is already your roommate.

Maybe you can ask Felix about his cousin's ideal type, maybe you can learn a thing or two.

And asking Felix wasn't the best resort at all. It wasn't an option, per se. Your two eyes can see obviously what he likes in everything. Man, you live with the guy. You can literally learn a thing or two, if you were heedful of your surroundings.

Eventually, you become comfortable with Chan, as he is to you. One question and one answer now led into breathy laughs in between long conversations. One asked about their day, and eventually it turned into long talks. You were ecstatic about the progress of your roommate relationship with Chan, and when you say progress, your feelings also go with the flow. 

You finally admitted that you have a crush on your roommate, it was very obvious that Chan is likeable. Aside from Felix, he's the nicest guy you've ever met, his attitude from the very first time you guys met never changed, and you appreciate it. 

You were busy cleaning your room when you heard some soft knocks against your door. You were shocked to see Chan peeking from the outside, wanting to call your attention.

"Hey, Chan. Is there anything I can help you with?" You said as you placed your freshly washed clothes on your bed. He seemed to hesitate answering so you beckon him to go in, as he did eventually.

"Are you busy?" He asked, eyeing those clothes placed on your bed.

"Oh, not really. Will just place these clothes in the cabinet and I'm done. Why?" You asked him. You didn't know if you were just seeing things or his cheeks flushed a bit red before speaking.

"Uhm. I cooked some pancakes and made some hot chocolates for snacks. It's getting a bit cold here and I'm hungry. If you want I can bring you some here." Chan mused. A bashful smile painted on his face. You were speechless for a moment before you gave him a nod.

"Oh! That's very nice of you. But we can just eat it together in the kitchen." You replied.

"Really? I can just bring you some here while you finish what you were doing. Or I can just leave some for you." He insisted but you just shook your head.

"Nah, I'm fine. I can finish this later. It's very impolite of me if I'll do that. And besides, I do feel hungry now that you mentioned pancakes and hot chocolate." You giggled. Chan let out a sigh of relief and invited you to go with him in the kitchen which you gladly did, leaving all the clothes unattendedly and all the other things you need to do. Chan invited me to eat with him, organizing my things can wait.

No wonder you heard some shuffling in the kitchen a while ago, it was just him trying to cook some food. It surprised you that Chan can cook, since he's always busy. Either in his room or out with his friends, telling you that he'll just eat outside or finish his work that you'll never know if he's already done since you always hear him in his room, but it's all fine. 

Maybe he's just a man who is passionate about his work. 

After minutes of arguing that you'll just get your own food, you sat down on the chair as Chan prepared both your and his food, telling you that he was the one who invited you.

Looking at him, his broad back facing you, his shoulders tensing as he continues to move around, made you feel those weird feelings inside your stomach. It may be bizarre, but it felt good, just right.

Imagining him as the caring boyfriend who takes good care of you, cooking you food whenever he wants to, surprising you every morning with those butterfly kisses around your face. Just the perfect relationship every person wishes to have.

While you make your own world of fantasies, the boy who was the subject of it was staring at you weirdly. Hiding the smile on his face as he looked at your flabbergasted one when he called again your attention, the look on your face as if you were caught doing something illegal made him giggle, but he tried to hide it.

"Thinking of something?" He questioned, a smile now visible on his face. You tried to focus your attention on him once again, shaking away all of the thoughts of him from your mind before answering.

"Uuh, just thinking what will these pancakes taste like, also the hot chocolate." You replied, he scoffed jokingly as he placed your plate of pancakes, drizzled with maple syrup and whipped cream on top.

"And now you're acting like some masterchef judge, or aren't you Gordon Ramsay's daughter?" he joked. 

"Hmm, what if I am?" You remarked. He just shrugged and let out a giggle, his dimples apparent on his face, making him look more cute and soft.

Aah, can you not act cute, just for once?

"Hmm. I guess I'm honored and nervous at the same time, have a taste then, Ms. so-called daughter of Gordon Ramsay." He mused.

You happily indulged yourself with the still warm pancakes, humming as the mix of its softness and the sweet taste of maple syrup excites your taste buds, immediately giving a thumbs up to Chan. He flashed you a wide grin before eating some of his own.

"Didn't know you cook this good, Channie." You blurt out, not realizing that you called him in a different way, you were busy delving in his pancakes.

"Not you doubting my cooking skills." Chan replied. Little did you know, Chan was having a little heart attack from the new nickname you gave him out of the blue, yet you still haven't realized it.

"And, I didn't know I had a new nickname now." Chan mused and let out a chuckle. Confused, your eyebrows furrowed until seconds later you realized what you just said a while ago.

"Never heard someone call me that, even my friends." He admitted. Even his close friends never called him that. And he's glad that someone like you managed to get him a nickname, one thing that he'll never mind at all, especially if it's only you.

"Uh-- okay. I didn't realize it. Sorry" You mumbled, but Chan still managed to hear it. 

"No worries, Channie is cute though. I love it." Your eyes widen as you bring your gaze back to him, while his smile  never falters. It's true, Chan loves it. In fact, he wishes you'll just call him by it everyday. It felt like an addition to his energy. 

"Uh, d'you like the hot chocolate?" Chan changed the topic before he felt the silence envelop you.

You did taste the hot chocolate and it was good, the warmth of the drink seeped into you, making you relax. Winter was still ongoing and you're glad that besides ramen and tea, you found yourself a different way of relaxing and making you warm during the season. One point for making a hot chocolate for a cold season.

"Yep! It was so good! So sweet, I love it. Actually I tried making this but I failed big time, I added too much cocoa, it was bitter." You giggled, remembering the first time you tried doing a hot chocolate, Lexi almost barf making you realize you shouldn't make a hot chocolate drink by yourself.

Chan snorted, trying to contain his laugh when he saw you glaring at him.

"Good thing I can make one. I can be your savior," He said, his eyebrows moving up and down. 

"If you insist, actually your hot chocolate is my new favorite now." You confessed. Chan is like hot chocolate, warm, and sweet. He feels homely because of his warm and sweet nature. No wonder you felt comfortable around him in no time. He never once made you feel ill at ease. A pure green flag. That is Chan to you.

Felix went to your apartment several times in the past, but most of it was for school purposes. Activities wherein you were partners, but most of the time he just wants to do it with you, for the sake of copying some of your answers which you don't mind.

But the reason why he is at your apartment today is unusual. And it is the first time he has hung out with you in winter. Weird it may be, but it just happened that way. Lexi and Felix knew each other of course because of the seldom visiting in the past, but not as close as you with being friends with the both of them.

When Felix knew that your new roommate is his cousin, he immediately messaged you saying he'll visit one of these days. It was a long time ago but the free time he only has is now, due to his part time job at the restaurant near his apartment.

There is a fat chance of the cousins meeting at the apartment, but now isn't. Chan went out early to go to his friend's place. And that's the time Felix finally told you that he'll come over.

And here you are, in the kitchen while Felix let you make a room of chaos by helping him make brownies, but sooner he just made you sit and told to watch him. One thing that you agreed on since baking isn't really your thing.

You were too immersed with your phone when you suddenly heard Felix greet someone.

"Hey! You're back!" Your head immediately turned to Chan who looked flabbergasted seeing his cousin being busy in his kitchen.

He then turned his gaze to you, then threw a smile at your direction which you immediately reciprocated.

"You're early…?" You questioned. Chan told you that he will stay at his friend's place for a few hours since they were planning to make a new song, so you assumed he'll be back at night, and it is still afternoon.

"Hmm. Jisung's mom called him for help, so we just finished it there, then we'll continue for some time. It's really not that necessary to finish the song." Chan replied. You were about to speak when you remembered you had another person inside your home.

"What does it feel like when someone replies to your greeting, yeah? 'Oh hello Felix! How are you? It's been a long time? Are you having fun here with Y/n?' Something like that, no?" Felix scoffed, his eyes rolling when Chan giggled. 

Chan went to give his cousin a light bump on his shoulders, apologizing for not greeting him back.

"Sorry dude, I mean, we just saw each other a few days ago." Chan bantered but Felix replied with a raise of a brow.

"Okay. I'll just let it pass, who wouldn't be distracted when you saw y/n first, right?" He quipped, flashing a smirk directed at Chan who was failing to keep a smile. In the end, he just smacked his cousin's arm again. Feeling himself shrinking at the lowkey showing of adoration for y/n. 

Chan knew his roommate was pretty, in and out. He has been harboring appreciation for the girl. Even at that point his friends were pushing him to ask you for a date. But he never did. For him, it was too early to ask you. Living together with you is just as right as rain. Getting to know you, see you, and have more time with you is more than enough for him.

Chan left to go to his room after exchanging a few banters with Felix. And finally, the brownies were already done. So you took all of the baked brownies with you and went to the living room, with Felix hot on your trail, a tub of ice cream on his arm.

"Excuse me, Miss y/n, don't finish all of the brownies please." Felix protested when he saw you continuously eating the bite size brownies, worried that you might finish it all.

It was a minute's worth of fussing over brownies. Of course you were never the greedy one, you just wanted to tease Felix, you ate several pieces, then gave the plate to him, you grabbed some for Chan, but you don't have any idea when he'll come out of his room so you just set aside his brownies.

And the big fat silence took you over. Save for Felix's music playing through his phone. You don't feel like watching tv, and neither do he. You were having fun with your brownies when Felix once again executed his talent: asking questions out of the blue.

"Hey, I wanted to know what you think about my cousin?" You snorted as soon as you heard his question. When he does look serious with his question, and it seems like he is really waiting for an answer, you replied.

"Huh? As a roommate?" You asked. Felix cocked his eyebrow at you, as if silently judging you.

He wasn't clear with his question per se.

"Of… course. Why? You wanna tell me what you think of him as a guy?" And now Felix's face morphed into something akin to ludicrous. 

"You weren't clear with the question, oh please." You cried. With the way you were acting and Felix being the best tormenter ever, you can envision yourself telling Felix what you feel about his cousin. 

"Oh-kay! Fine. What do you think of him as a roommate?" Felix asked again. 

"Okay, I think he's the best roommate I ever had. Very clean, he never leaves a place that contains his mess--" You were speaking when Felix suddenly interrupted your commentary.

"Wait, more than Lexi?" Felix remarked. You know he was just teasing you, Felix knows how much you love Lexi and you were just overstating because it was Chan.

"What?? Of course not! I mean, I have the same feelings for them as a roommate. Maybe I just like the thought of Chan being a good guy who respects others, like his roommate. Besides you, I never interacted so much with guys, but if it's Chan, I think it's okay. I am so comfortable with him, and he's too much of a… gentleman." You remembered the time when you walked in to Chan being shirtless in the kitchen. You don't remember how many times he said sorry for not wearing a shirt. You were just shocked, oh Lord. He's just too sexy to look at. He might think of you as a creep. 

Him saying sorry for being comfortable is so dreadful. 

Even if you told him too many times that night that it was okay, he still wore a shirt the next day. And that made you feel bad. That time you reminded yourself not to freak out by seeing a guy flashing his half naked body.

But how can you do that? Knowing that it was him was rendering you speechless.

"Uhm.. earth to y/n?" Felix snapped his fingers in front of you, making you go back to your trance. Stop thinking about him. Do it like it was easy, huh.

"Oh.. sorry." You chuckled awkwardly, you felt like you were getting smaller. Even though you won't tell him, Felix noticed that you were off the wall when you started talking about Chan.

"Do you like my cousin?" Again, you were knocked senseless by his question. 

Are you really getting questioned by Felix? By your roommate's cousin? In your own apartment? With your roommate in question, which is currently present here?

"W-what? Why are you asking me that?" You chuckled awkwardly, you felt like your mind had gone blank by the sudden questioning. You weren't even sure if you really like, as in like Chan. You just knew you found him attractive.

"Chan has been a nice person ever since, but there's something with the way you talk about him." He said, as if he's that certain with his assumption.

"Maybe because he's just being a gentleman, and I appreciate that, that's it." You replied shortly. Maybe you were really just admiring his personality. You deemed guys being the not gentleman type, except Felix. Many of your female acquaintances told you stories about guys who were being a pain in the ass and just plain rude. And maybe that's one of the reasons why you abstain yourself from talking to other guys, second is just you were a major awkward person.

Felix stared at you for a good minute before smiling and greeted Chan, who went out with his hair damp, maybe he just took a shower then decided to go out.

"Yo Chris, Y/n saved you some brownies, that's for being the best roommate." Felix sneered as you smack him playfully on his arm.

You turned your gaze to Chan and saw a small smile on his face which you immediately reciprocated.

Oh, a thought passed by your mind, did he hear you and Felix talking about him?

You wish he didn't.

A month has passed yet the winter season is still on the run. You were in the supermarket with Chan who just hopped in since he wanted to buy some of his basic necessities and foods he shares with you in the fridge.

You were checking your list when you felt an arm draped over your shoulder. Too stunned, you didn't turn your head right away, to see if it's really him. Because you can literally smell the familiar scent of his calming perfume. And one thing that you wanted to do right now is to just snuggle your face between his neck and sniff his scent, sounds creepy but that's what on your mind right now.

"How about this one, y/n? I think we can make kimchi jjigae for tonight? What do you think?" Chan asked you, turning your gaze sidewards to see his face. Even though you can literally hear your heartbeat loud.

Is it because of the proximity? Or solely because of Chan?

Trying not to sound and look awkward, you patted his hand softly, telling him that you were fine with it. You have no idea if you were just feeling things, but you felt his arms tensed when you pat it.

"Of course, but you'll cook okay? You were the one who's confident with their kimchi jjigae." You grinned. You weren't confident with what you, you were even shocked you managed to contain yourself while being that close with Chan.

Chan didn't even know where he got that confidence. He was panic-stricken when Y/n didn't look back at him, and he really felt how she frozed when he did that. But when Y/n patted his arm lightly, he knew that she was fine, and his heart was beating passionately he could hear it. But he acted cool, for the sake of his pride and unspoken feelings. 

He remember the time where Felix asked Y/n if she likes him and heard her answer, he felt the world ground right below his feet. He knew that her answer probably meant no. She does appreciate him, and he knows that it isn't the same as like, that doesn't mean she likes him as him, and not the person she lives with.

Maybe acting like cool friends won't hurt. Oh, maybe a little, for him. 

Going back to the apartment is not that complicated, you hailed a cab because riding a bus back home while bringing those grocery bags isn't the best idea at all. 

Since Chan knew how to make kimchi jjigae better, he was working alone in the kitchen when Y/n suddenly appeared, shrouded herself with her usual comfortable shirt, her hair tied up in a bun. Something with the way she looks screams domesticity to Chan. A girlfriend watching her boyfriend cook their dinner. The thought alone made Chan smile. Being able to live with her as a roommate is more than enough.

Even if he knew they weren't feeling the same.

But why does he feel like she was staring right into his soul?

You were so amazed by seeing Chan work in the kitchen. He moves dexterously, as if he's really been doing this ever since. Just by looking at him, you can feel your heartbeat briskly again. Everytime you see Chan, there's this familiar feeling that grows as time passes by.

Do you still deny yourself for falling for Chan?

Truthfully speaking, as days passed by and the more you knew about your roommate, the more you slowly realized that you were indeed, in love with your roommate. This wasn't just simply a roommate appreciation feeling. 

It was entirely the same as you expected.

"Okay Chan, I feel like you used to be a chef in your past life." You giggle as you once again slurp again the savory soup of the kimchi jjigae. Chan scoffed jokingly as he took a spoonful of rice from his food.

"Maybe I am. I do appreciate your kind words." Chan replied. You were finally done with dinner and it was such a nice one since whenever you eat with Chan, it was filled with fun and giggles here and there. There was no dull dinner with Chan.

There was a raging snowstorm as per the weather forecast and you were more than irked knowing that there will be lots of snow outside.

"I'll wash the dishes Channie. You go to the living room, I'll be in charge here." You said as you gathered the empty plates and pots. Putting it all on the kitchen sink, while you saw Chan open the fridge and grab a can of drink.

"Want some beer?" Chan asked as he showed you the can on his hand. It was the beers he bought from the grocery earlier. 

"Out of the sudden?" You chuckled at him. It was unusual for Chan to drink beer on a random night. He once told you that he does drink whenever he's at parties. So why beer?

He then shrugged and flashed you a toothy smile.

"Oh, it does help me warm up. It's chilly here. I don't mind having beer, how about you?" Chan stated. It isn't weird, because beer does help you warm up on the inside, and you don't mind consuming one tonight, so you gave Chan a thumbs up before he nodded at you and went to the living room, with two bottles of beer in his hands.

You were never confident with your alcohol tolerance, every memory was shared with embarrassment, so as much as possible, you did drink responsibly. You want to have some time with Chan. You know you can always say no to him, but consuming a bottle won't hurt. Besides, it really does help you warm up.

"Isn't it weird if I drink beer on a winter night instead of coffee or hot chocolate?" Chan chuckled as he chugged on his beer. You knew how much Chan detest coffee, just like you with winter.

"Not really, I know how much you hate coffee, and we just ran out of hot chocolate. Actually, this is new, but I don't hate it. It's been a long time since I last drank beer. But I never expected it to be on a winter night though." You said making the boy laugh. 

"But it is fun!" He countered.

"Yeah, yeah. I just hate that the time was winter. I hope spring comes soon. I hate this season anyway." You accidentally slipped your detestment for winter. You can see how his face morphed into confusion, the bottle sitting on his hand before asking.

"Huh? Why, though? Winter is great! How can you dislike winter?" Chan wondered. For him, winter is great for cuddling. He loves to warm himself up together with his loved ones. Winter is a great time for hot chocolate, too.

Winter is great and better especially when you're with someone who you care for. Giving the warmth that they deserve on a cold winter night.

"I just hate it. I don't know why people are so happy whenever winter comes. It's snowing hard yet they still enjoy it. Or is it just me, because I really hate playing in the snow?" You wondered, ever since you were a kid, you never understood the fun of playing in the snow. It was cold, and probably it'll make you sick.

"Nah, all I see, be it kids or adults, loves playing in the snow." Chan replied. You just smiled sadly as you realized you never once played in the snow ever since you were a kid. You just don't have someone to play with.

"Oh, maybe I was just being bitter." You chuckled as you played with your bottle. Ah, the memories of the past still haunt you big time. 

Winter never did anything to you in the first place, it was just a season that passed by every year. It's just that, someone did taint them badly for you to hate it.

Chan suddenly felt the atmosphere shift into something different. He didn't know if it was because of the alcohol but he can feel that Y/n has something running into her mind right now. He never knew that she disliked the current season. He never knew that she's probably bringing something into her chest. There should be a reason, at least. But if she never wanted to talk about it, who is he to push her more?

But he just wanted to try his luck, maybe he can be a bit of help, even with just the little things.

He can see how much Y/n contemplates with herself. 

"Hmm.. there must be a reason. Do you… want to share it?" Chan carefully asked and saw if Y/n would respond. He knows he's not yet drunk, save for his high tolerance, he can really listen and understand what Y/n would say.

He can be the good listener he always had been.

The thing that bugs you up to this day, whenever winter comes was never shared with anyone else, even Felix, and Lexi. Your father has always been taking care of you, showing you that he can be the best parent you need to have. Filling in the role of a person you love, but left you in spite of that.

"I trust you enough to tell this, Channie." You sighed and gave him a smile.

"The night is young, pretty, go ahead."

Your mom has been your role model ever since. Being the most caring mother that she is, always taking care of you and your older brother, Lucas. She always puts you and your brother first in everything before herself. The most selfless mother you've known.

Your parents had an "okay" relationship when they were together. Doing what every parent should do for their children. You were still a kid back then, so everything you saw made you think that your parents do love each other like every other parents you see from your friends.

Until one day, and it was the start of winter, right after you came back from the mall with your father, you saw your mom packing up her things, altogether with your brother's clothes. You were starting to wonder why, not until your father blurted out the words you never expected him to say. Because all you know is that they love each other.

"Go, leave us. I bet you are happy now, you feel free, yeah? Go ahead. I hope you'll be a good mother to that bastard's son. Why did I even marry a cheater?" 

When you were a kid, the words that you only understood the words leave, good, and happy.

You never understood why your mother and brother have to leave you both. Is  there something wrong? Does your mother hate you? Do they hate living with you now? Why did they have to leave?

Does your mother still love you?

As you grow up, you finally understand all the reasons, your mind slowly opening up to the fact that not everyone's family was made to be perfect. Your father explained to you how your mother cheated on him when they were still together. Giving birth to your brother whom he thought was his real son. A thing that your mother kept until she got pregnant with you. 

Your father was hurt so much by knowing that kind information, but he never regretted loving your brother. The fact that your mother managed to cheat and stayed with him while she's out there doing some kind of infidelity shattered his heart. He did anything to love your mother but all he ever received was pain.

Now that you knew it, it still made you hurt, remembering that cold winter night where your mother was nowhere to be found, you all alone in your small room crying. The experience was traumatic, but you slowly coped with it. But the hate for the season stayed, as well the memory of your mother leaving you.

"I never liked the coldness of the winter. It's because I remember how much I cried for my mother, because every winter, she used to stay with me until I fell asleep, together with my brother. Up until now, it still haunts me. So sorry for killing your joy whenever winter comes." You chuckled as you down the remaining beer from your bottle.

"You know, you never say sorry for your trauma. You didn't want that. No one likes to be left behind. And if hating winter does help you cope up, so be it. It was never a bother for me anyway. Don't be worried about it." Chan said and gave you a heartwarming smile. 

That, that smile is what makes the past cold nights turn into weeks, then months of warmth and cozyness. There were no dull and cold nights whenever you're with Chan. In fact, having him here together with you is what makes you feel better on those cold nights. He never made you feel alone. And you were grateful for having him here with you.

And you were grateful for having those warm fuzzy feelings in your stomach that felt just right. Even if it makes your heart pound like crazy.

"You know.." you started, your eyes focused on the bottle in your hands. While Chan trained his eyes on your figure, waiting for you to continue.

"These past few months, I never felt this happy. I had my share of hate for the season, but I think it's okay now that you're here. So thank you." You said and you can literally feel your cheeks heat up, so you did your best not to lift your face. Not wanting to have any embarrassment happening.

You heard his small gasp and it made you smile. This was shocking for him, you can tell, but it's the truth.

"Uhm.. I don't think I did anything to make you feel better in this season, but I'm glad to know I did some kind of help. It means a lot to me, you know." Chan said and scratched the back of his neck, he can also feel his cheeks heating up. The weather was cold yet their cheeks felt hot at the very moment.

To be someone's comfort is relieving for Chan. Even if he doesn't know what kind of comfort he brings to Y/n, he's glad that she's been comfortable and open to him now. All he knows is that everyone has a struggle with something, and not everyone has the same problem every day. So we need to be kind to everyone.

A principle he had brought with him ever since he was a kid.

But now that Y/n opens up more about herself, he can't help but to be more caring for her. He just wanted her to be happy, just like how he has been ever since he met her.

"You know, I still have something to tell you. I don't know what will happen after but I wanted to tell you this." You started. And you already had warned yourself that you don't have any good relationship with alcohol, yet you still pursue this. There's something with drinking alcohol that makes you do something on a whim. 

Is it called confidence?

Nah, you'll just see if you regret doing this tomorrow.

"Hm? What is it? Should I be worried?" Chan giggled. He was confused but at the same time, anxiousness bubbled up on his stomach. He was still sober, in truth, he never consumed all of the alcohol, too engrossed with Y/n.

That's what love is.

"Uhm… I… Whenever we're together, like this.. I can't help but feel this weird thing. I don't know if it's out of appreciation for your roommate or what. But I don't hate it. It feels good. And I don't want it gone. Is it a crush? love? or just pure appreciation?" You said and Chan clearly hears how obscure your feelings are. Yet, the feeling of excitement is more prominent than worry for your confused feelings. It's dangerous on his side, he knows, yet he can't help but to think that maybe you feel the same for him.

"Are… are you sure? Or is it because you're drunk, Y/n?" Chan asked as he checked on you. When you didn't answer, he stood from the couch across and sat beside you. He looked at you first, before trying to reach your hand, when he didn't feel any sign of hesitation, he slowly squeezed it, trying to make you look at him.

"Tell me, are you sure with what you're saying? Or you're just babbling words?" Chan said and he can feel the frustration in his voice. He didn't want to look and sound frustrated, but the hope in his heart pushed him to do so, he wanted to know if you feel the same or not. Heck, he wanted to kiss you right now, but he doesn't know if it's okay with you. Of course! Who would want to kiss their roommate even without having any romantic relationship?

"I may be drunk, Channie. But I tend to remember the things I say and do when I'm drunk." You muttered and stared at him. When he didn't answer, you continued speaking, telling him the most kept secret you feel about him.

"You know, I do believe that drunk minds speak sober thoughts, and don't worry, I don't feel like I'll regret doing this tomorrow, because I really wanted to tell you that I like you, heck, maybe I already love you, Channie." You finally said it, feeling those weird things happening inside you again. And the goddamn heartbeat that goes fast, whenever he's near with you.

You can see how his face lightens up at the moment, you were never sure about body language, but you felt like he does feel the same.

"Can… Can I kiss you?" Chan was hesitating to ask this, but now that you already told him what you feel, he tried his luck, and when you nodded your head and squeezed his hand. Not wanting to say any words, because you don't trust yourself enough now.

You can feel his face inching closer with yours, his warm breath that smells like the alcohol you just drank. His breath, his gaze, the proximity, and the situation makes you even more drunk. And your mind blanks as soon as you feel his lips plant on yours.

So this is how his lips felt like.

It was so soft, just how you always thought of it, it was like caressing your skin. The fact that your lips were chapped didn't make you conscious because all you were thinking is that, you felt those feelings again, but ten times stronger and it you were fully aware that it was Chan kissing you.

You can feel yourself slowly melting into the kiss. It was pure delight, and you must admit that you never felt this way before. Too grateful that you were feeling this way with Chan and not every other guy.

You can feel his hands moving to your nape, guiding your head carefully as he leaned in more, feeling his lips move oh so slowly as if he was afraid to break you.

Chan finally pulls out, his eyes still closed as he catches his breath, his cheeks dusted with a shade of pink.

His hands never let go of you, as he planted it on your cheeks, making you lean on his touch. You too, were speechless for a bit as you catch your breath, also making it as an excuse for what you just felt, still shy to admit that you were indeed in love with Chan, even though you just voiced it out a few minutes ago.

"So…" Chan started. He was still ecstatic by the fact that she reciprocates the same feelings. His mind went haywire when they finally shared an intimate moment together. A feeling that Chan only dreamt of, not expecting it to happen in real life.

It was like Y/n is a dream come true.

Chan's hand wrapped around yours once again, molding it with yours as if it was meant to be there. You shared a minute of staring at each other before Chan managed to speak.

"You don't have to worry, Channie. Didn't you know you're likeable? I bet every girls you met had a crush on you, but I am the one blessed, I guess." You chuckled. You were certain, with this attractive face and a beau ideal of a boyfriend, Chan had unconsciously made every girls at his beck and call.

"I'm so happy to know you feel that way, because honestly? I feel the same way for you. I was afraid I am the only one harboring feelings but here you are." He shrugged and plant a peck on your knuckles.

"So.. Does this mean we're dating now?" Chan said once he pulled out of the kiss, again running out of breath. There's something about feeling your lips against his makes him want to go more.

Maybe it was because of the alcohol, or pure adoration, or it can be both but you felt yourself leaning closer to Chan until you felt his lips against yours.

Someone like Chan was the person you ever wish to share a romantic relationship yet the one you didn't expect to come. He's too good to be true. But you love it, and you'll make sure not to let it out of your grasp.

"Come on, isn't it obvious?" You chuckled while he just shrugged and hugged you, making you surprised, but relaxed eventually. He's so warm, just like how you always thought about him.

"Okay, so are you in for an outdoor date tomorrow? I may love what we have here, but I wanted to go out and spend my time with you besides going to the grocery store." Chan said, making you chuckle. He's not wrong. You went out with him several times now, but it was all for the sake of groceries.

Having to spend time outside on a winter day with Chan? Nothing gets better than that.

"Of course. I would love to spend a day with you outside, on a winter day."

[virgothozul]

Hello ! Just wanted to talk a bit, feel free to skip ahah ! I want to thank you for the nice, kind, fun or excited comments and tags under my art ! It’s so cool to see people interacting with something one has created and shared. When I was 11 or 12, I sent a message (I think it was through fb) to a friend of my older brother’s. She drew stuff and shared it on her fb page. It was public posts, but I guess it was targeted at her friends more than anyone else. I told her sth along the lines of « my brother is a friend of yours, he’s shown me your art and I think it’s incredible and so inspiring ! Thank you for making and sharing it ! Have a nice day :) »

Idk why I did that, but I liked her art so much, and would look at it so often, I guess I felt a little weird anonymously lurking at her posts. I don’t really remember. Idk I thought it was the honest thing to do.

I didn’t get an answer but I didn’t think anything of it, I wasn’t trying to get her to talk to me. But a few days later, my brother came to me, mad and ashamed, saying she told him about my message, that she thought it was weird. He was very crossed at me, saying I was a sick creep. I felt disgusting, awful and guilty. I regretted ever sending her this. Maybe I had been presumptuous, too forward, overly excited. Maybe since then she would feel anxious sharing stuff bc of weirdos like me who would like it despite never meeting her etc.

For years I wouldn’t compliment anyone’s craft if I didn’t personally know them. I thought it was gross of me to like sb’s art too much. Everyone has a different relationship with their art and how ppl, especially strangers, interact with it. That’s of course 100% ok. I personally think it’s a great feeling having someone liking my art, connecting with it, sending their kindness, support or excitement. I love to see art being shared and creating a little connection between folks. Even strangers. (Sure you don’t want your art to be taken out of context for problematic use, or by ppl with ill intent etc. But let’s focus on positive interactions today.)

I could blabber about that for a while. Just, many thanks for the kind and fun feedback Folks ! 🙏 Wish you all a nice day