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#feeling like you can't prove anything
furiousgoldfish · 10 months
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me after my parents haven't done anything abusive or violent in a bit: Welp. Can't claim that I'm being abused anymore. No proof that any past abuse exists. I'll never be able to prove to anyone that any of it was real. Maybe I made it up or was just being dramatic. The thought of it being erased and non provable crushes me to the ground. I'm helpless to do anything about it.
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prosebushpatch · 4 days
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Okay so I recently, finally, watched Wish and I have some thoughts. Overall, not as bad as everyone makes it out to be, but still has a lot of fundamental story problems and I've got to get them off of my chest. I'll mostly be focused on Magnifico because I think his motivations and arc largely represent the problem with the overall theme.
Okay so my biggest problem with Magnifico is his motivation. His tragic backstory. How on earth does he go from losing his whole family to thinking, the only way he can prevent that from happening again is to grant wishes? The logic doesn't track. It almost makes sense in his creating a kingdom where he protects everyone and "doesn't even charge rent," but it does not make sense with his wish granting. Having a great need to be control to make sure he doesn't lose anyone ever again can be a compelling motivation for a villain, where we see lines crossed that don't justify the intent, but in the movie, he's too self-absorbed to seem to have any actual care for the people of Rosas.
I think if the motivation was changed to something like Magnifico had once been a bright-eyed, enthusiastic wish granter who blindly believed all wishes were good but learned the hard way that that wasn't true could have been a better fit for the overall goal of the movie. Imagine that he granted a wish for a wicked person who used that wish to hurt others, or if Magnifico granted a wish but that wish ended up ruining the person's life because what they wanted wasn't what they needed (i.e. Remember The Princess and the Frog? Dig a little deeper) and that person could have went after Magnifico and blamed him for their troubles (harkening back to We Don't Talk about Bruno). This would be an understandable tragic backstory for Magnifico, and better explain why he's so careful about the wishes he grants. And, perhaps the reason he keeps the wishes he doesn't want to grant is to keep the people in his kingdom docile. No one will be angry with him for not granting their wishes if he makes them forget them and lose that drive and motivation, which makes more sense than the unexplained hording them like he does in the movie? Why does he keep them in the movie other than admiring the wishes? It doesn't make sense to me.
This would give Asha more of a reason to oppose him, if it's shown how his desire to not get hurt or to inadvertently cause hurt turned into a paranoia where he drains people of wishes to fly or play music that inspires others. And, as a side note, we need to see more of how Rosas is a kingdom of people who lack drive and motivation, where only those younger than 18 have that special part of them that inspires them to chase after a dream (something that Astor Rhymemaster touched on). Because that's the point of wishes, right? That's the point of the entire Disney canon. A dream is a wish your heart makes. That star can only get you so far, it takes hard work and determination. It's wanting something better in life, it's dreaming of leaving behind all you know to chase after a tangible light. It's finding a new dream, it's finding a new wish as you grow and learn about yourself and the world.
I don't think the movie Wish understood what makes wishes so important in Disney stories. You know what wishes do? They ignite change. It's not about getting what you want, it's about finding the courage to chase after something better. Ariel wants to be where the people are, but really she wants to be somewhere where others are willing to understand her and in the end, she finds that and makes amends with her father, who finally is willing to see her for who she is. Rapunzel wants to see the lights, and that desire pushes her to leave a tower she's been trapped in her whole life, learning that the world is not as cruel and cold as her abusive mother told her. Cinderella wants to go to the ball, to dance with people who treat her as a person and not a servant of cinders and ash. That wish is granted by a fairy godmother and gives her a hope that is worth fighting for, a hope that helps her reclaim what is rightfully hers; a glass slipper that fits only her and the love that comes with it.
Wishes inspire change. The movie should have been about that. Magnifico could have been right, that some wishes inspire negative change that can drag down multiple people. The kingdom of Rosas could have been so placid because change is scary. Maybe Magnifico could have convinced people, after taking their wish, that it wasn't worth it. Maybe the wish ceremonies could have changed so it wasn't portrayed as some sort of lottery everyone looks forward to, but Magnifico would grant wishes on the spot if he decided they were good and worthwhile, and he would lock away the wishes that would cause trouble and tribulations. 18 year olds could be enthusiastic to give him their wishes, thinking they were surely good and worth granting, only to forget their wish and be told that their wish would have only brought about their unhappiness, this would have justified a more solemn tone in the kingdom, setting up a world where people are mostly downtrodden, thinking their wishes are bad and pointless and they're better off without them. Imagine Cinderella or Rapunzel being told their wishes weren't good, reinforcing all the things their abusive families tell them, taking away that hope and courage to find something better for themselves.
Here's where the true conflict could come in. Asha could be onto this from the beginning, and her opening song could have been about this concern that the people who didn't get their wishes granted aren't willing to try at all. (Because, after all, why doesn't Sabino play music at all? Having that taken from him would take so much joy and creative expression from his life!) But why does Asha know something is amiss?
Simon.
Imagine that Magnifico has a strict rule not to ever share your wish with another person because then it wouldn't come true. It makes sense with our own superstitions, and then makes it so that no one knows anyone else's wishes. Maybe your best friend changes so drastically after giving up their wish, but you believe, like everyone else, that their wish would have only caused suffering. What can you do about it? Well what if Simon told Asha about his wish? What if Asha knew his wish wasn't dangerous and couldn't imagine a way that it could go wrong? That would give her a reason to doubt Magnifico and put more emphasis on how Simon has lost his drive like all the other adults in the kingdom. And it can also emphasize in the end that sharing your wishes and dreams with others can be a powerful thing. Just the act of sharing your dreams can inspire others to go after their own, and they can give you the encouragement to chase your wish too. Wishes inspire change, love gives you the courage to make it happen.
Imagine if the star boy used to be a human, who wished to help others and lost his humanity to do it. Imagine his wish confirms Magnifico's belief, that wishes cause suffering because star boy lost his tether to earth and is separated from the people he loves. Imagine how he foils Asha who also wants to grant everyone's wishes. Imagine him ensuring she doesn't make the same mistake he did while she gives him a reason to change again, to anchor himself to humanity again because he loves her enough not to leave for forever.
Imagine the movie confirming that, yes, change is scary. Chasing your dreams won't always make things better. You might fail more than you succeed and some wishes cannot coincide with each other, leading to grief and strife. But some wishes are worth it. Sometimes, chasing after something better and failing is worth leaving a worse situation. Sometimes taking that chance is worth it, and, like in all fairy tales, if you are kind and generous and act with love, that will make all the difference in the end.
Also, I know everyone wished for a Magnifico and Amaya evil power couple, but imagine if Magnifico was truly in love with Amaya, as he is in the movie, but that love is eventually his undoing. Like Amaya leaps in front of Asha, and Magnifico stops or redirects his attack because she's the one thing he loves more than himself and that is the weakness that Asha and co can take advantage of. Imagine Amaya keeping Magnifico in the mirror and he gets to dote on her from his imprisonment for forever. I'm just saying. At least 30 sickos like me would be into that. Imagine the depth it would give to the themes of love and change and wishing and how acts of love make all the difference.
Alright, I'll get off my soap box. I just really wish Wish could have been stronger because these fairy tales Disney is famous for matter. They really do. But the movie feels too stale and shallow and too much of a cash grab that knows the outline of a disney musical, but is unable to understand the heart of why they work.
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vegaseatsass · 1 year
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I have to pry myself off the computer for real but tomorrow will someone please talk to me about Love Between Fairy & Devil now that I've finally watched it a year after the rest of the internet, and how Fairy Danyin is the best character, and Danyin/Changheng is the most lesbian (and/or gnc)/gay solidarity ship ever, and I am so stunned that they textually ended with Danyin admitting her original thing for Gods of War is that she wanted to become one herself - i.e. there was some "idk if I want to be him or be with him" to her Changheng pining - and with her demonstratively labeling Changheng her xiongdi???????? They are bros in every lifetime!! And should go on Chidi/Danyin Changheng/Ronghao double dates!!!
Someone please talk about this with me.... tomorrow.
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sybbi · 3 months
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People will see the Star of David and be like "Is this Zionist propaganda?"
#are you fucking kidding me#also 'i think i'm fine with being called an antisemite now' is not something the good guys say#like if you are capable of understanding why the collective cultural treatment of muslims in the us following 9/11 + the rise of isis = bad#you should understand why treating every jewish person as culpable or guilty by association for israel's deeds is also bad#like how are you all stepping backwards on this#you people will bend over backwards to clear yourselves of guilt when the us does anything so how are you not capable of doing the same#for jewish people??#like you understand this is the attitude israel counts on right?#the more unsafe jewish people are made to feel abroad the more israel's branding as the only safe place for jews#is proven right#be angry at what is happening but dont deny that jewish people have also been faced with a uniquely shitty situation#where people they thought they were safe with are now joining neo nazis and christian radicals and white supremacists#in spreading hate and targeting them bc of an apparent bloodlust and need for retaliation#retaliating against random jewish people is not helping palestine spreading antisemitic tropes is not helping palestine#making your jewish neighbors and friends feel like you're watching them for any excuse to prove theyre one of The Bad Ones is not helping#if you can't acknowledge that jewish people outside of israel feel rightly uneasy bc all u see is 'israeli excuses and propaganda'#YOU. ARE. AN. ANTISEMITE.
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ladsofsorrow24 · 1 year
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honestly that date scene is so hilarious because asa is such a try hard loser trying to impress denji with her knowledge and then there's denji who just wanna see the cute penguins...
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rabbiteclair · 1 year
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they keep using Thrawn in new Star Wars stuff, but the cowards refuse to also make Luuke Skywalker, Luke's evil clone from the exact same books, canon to the new material
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katya-goncharov · 4 months
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i have to go to an appointment to apply for universal credit tomorrow, and i'm so worried that the people there are going to be absolute assholes
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daz4i · 2 months
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how to stop thinking any good thing someone says to you (like compliments or being proud of you or other positive expressions such as these) is a lie just to be polite or bc they're biased and thus can't judge you work and your being objectively bc they love you. asking for a friend
#lovebombing won't work on me i will automatically assume there is an ulterior motive there#i may be off on what it is. but i won't trust it either anyway#(joking btw ik i'm not immune to abuse tactics. that's actually part of why i'm vigilant to all that i think)#(but not only)#i think my main issue is i know in my heart these things can't be right. the bigger the compliment the less i believe it#bc i'm below average and so is anything i create. propping it (and me) up as smth unique feels disingenuous#in my heart i do want this like i wanna be told nice things but they usually make me feel worse lol#bc i still think i'm shit and now i feel like i can't trust that person either.#(still. if someone is mean to me or even just harsh instead. i will cry)#also while this is already very deep and digging into my core the next tags are gonna dig into therapy level deepness lol#i think this is actually why i only want ppl to be sexually attracted to me honestly#smth abt it being like. a physical reaction. makes it easier to believe for me#also smth you can express smth you can do to prove it beyond just saying words#(i will sometimes still doubt it when i have a steady partner of any sort lol like i'll ask if they just indulge me or actually want it)#which is why it's fucking me up sm that i'm getting uglier 🥲 i'm already not great - being trans and fat limits a lot of your options - but#things are getting even worse lol 🥲 who knew that was even possible#all this isn't really a very good base to stop hating yourself. so my self loathing is only getting worse every day#thus making any good word harder to believe. and the cycle continues#. yknow when i started typing this post i did not expect to go on for this long#i am on these sleeping pills that make me lose my filter i'm sorry 😔#vent
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dmclemblems · 2 years
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fr tho, gotta love how ppl bitch about “the kingdom is problematic bc ppl are willing to die for their country and king and care about their duties”
but then you’ve got ladislava who is the same thing but turned up to eleven and has no character outside of that fact but nobody cares bc she’s not from faerghus
and you’ve got lorenz who dedicates himself to the commonfolk and would die for them bc he sees it as his explicit duty to ensure the protection of commoners to the point that if a commoner dies protecting him he genuinely believes he’s failed in his duty, but nobody cares bc he’s not from faerghus
#gotta love how blind ppl are to the allegiances of every other character when they just single mindedly hate one place#like if you're gonna argue smth or have a discussion at least know the facts of the places you're defending too#and if you're not defending and only saying smth abt another place then be ready to deal with comparisons#like the other day I had this guy arguing with me about faerghus' loyalty and how miklan can't be redeemed#but he couldn't deal with being wrong and kept changing topics or finding ways to try to be like#BUT PPL CAN RELATE TO XYZ WHICH IS THE OPPOSITE OF THIS#like... okay yeah but... ppl can also relate to zyx so what's the point of that argument#you can't argue something is flawed but then be presented with facts proving smth you're defending to also be flawed and#just pretend what you're arguing is the only thing wrong or not accept that what you're arguing just doesn't work#imagine being proven against an argument so you just switch to something else instead of admitting#that your argument (and a stereotypical one about an entire group of people i.e. country in this case)#is flawed itself bc you're trying to argue abt a whole nation's mentality and how you hate it but you don't hate#the mentality of the people who don't live there and have the exact same mentality#and on top of that like the whole Faerghus thing is an older generation thing bc like yeah Rodrigue is like that#but Felix isn't. Sylvain in Hopes only died in SB bc he went out angrily after revenge and died seeking revenge#not just bc he wanted his living friends to be safe. Sylvain is also not exactly ''knightly'' the way ppl say Faerghus soldiers are#he didn't consider it an honor to die for his country. he was just hoping his friends would be safe#and again he went into it thinking of revenge. it wasn't for some knightly duty or honor but bc he was still pissed abt Ingrid#Dimitri feels he has obligations and wants to help the commonfolk but he's suicidal as all fuck and also finds#no honor in dying the way Glenn died. Annette doesn't find anything particularly honorable and is just a family woman#Mercedes couldn't care less abt that stuff and is usually more worried abt Rhea and the Church#Ashe is a knight and is loyal but he doesn't really see ''honor'' in dying. he just would be willing to die to protect things important#to him. the only person in the current generation who avidly feels honor in old fashioned Faerghus standards is Ingrid#and let's not forget Leopold who... is also very much neck deep in loyalty and duty soooo#DCE Comments
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bumblingbabooshka · 2 years
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YOUNG TUVOK: I was sent against my will. VULCAN MASTER: Then I suggest you leave. YOUNG TUVOK: I'm not a prisoner? VULCAN MASTER: Only of your emotions, or so I have been told. YOUNG TUVOK: My emotions free me.
#haters will say he's neurotypical#Young Tuvok wishing he wasn't Vulcan can actually be something that's so powerful#the alien feels like an alien bc to him he is not an alien but he /is/ weird...he WISHES he were an alien then everything would make sense#His teacher was like 'Tuvok you need to see what's behind you' and Tuvok was like NICE try MORON I don't have any eyes behind me#'....I meant....(sighs) Tuvok I was speaking metaphorically-' YOU CAN'T TRICK ME!!!#I love teen Tuvok#I love him as a character and as a method of recontextualizing adult Tuvok#it hypothetically (not used in the show) gives a lot of depth to his character to have been a troubled teenager on the verge of becoming#without logic...literally got kicked out of school and banished by his dad. You'd never imagine that if you saw Tuvok in canon#I love how Tuvok goes from wishing he was not Vulcan as a teen to taking a stubborn pride in the fact that he's Vulcan when he's an ensign#and I mean stubborn in a good way#Tuvok is like...when you think as a teenager that you're a weirdo and you're abnormal and you're fucked up#and then you realize what exactly was causing that and you get fucking MAD when people call you weird and fucked up#and then over time you calm down into an adult canon Tuvok who's completely at peace with himself and no longer trying to prove anything#to anyone#idk I just love him#and all his implied character growth#also I love how in snw its established that there are like facilities established to help people who are struggling with their logic#but Tuvok still got sent to some fuckin caves to deal with it because his family's religious /j#also fuck Tuvok having the same haircut his whole life I'm giving him long hair#Tuvok art#st voyager art#st voyager#bea art tag#the caption is a quote from the voyager ep Gravity#neurodivergent tuvok#autistic tuvok#? perhaps
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wickedlittlecritta · 11 months
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my pet theory about the gardner heist is that everything stolen is going to turn up in the attic of some mob guy’s summer house in maine in like fifty years after everyone involved is dead and somebody’s kid inherits it.
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oldtestleper · 5 months
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all that shit would have never happened if they had followed OSHA guidelines
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seenthisepisode · 1 year
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#before i go i just like to say something about that poor kid from heartstopper being forced to come out to the twitter crowd#first of all this just proves a point how toxic the bird app is and i hope it doesn't die because if those people come here.....#also something something this aligns so well with these terminally online teeangers who have everything about them in their bios#and find you suspicious if you don't. constant surveillance over one another because if you don't have everything public then that means#you have something to hide. like this is a pattern and given the audience of that show are mostly teens and early 20s.... this just fits#and the fact that some of these idiots celebrated after they bullied him to come out because yay bi guy plays a bi charcater#this is insane and also disgusting please get help#there is this post going around with the tweet screen how real people can't queerbait#and i see people being like hahahha misha did queerbait tho and it was extremely funny when he had to come out as straight#and. being in this fandom for years. and the fact that he said it in a private m&g. and the fact stands called him a queer man#and the fact he backtracked only after TWO DAYS. like this thing is still very.... well it makes me uncomfortable because i still think#he might have had to backtrack for some reason. idk it just makes me feel weird because laughing at this situation feels wrong#but idk idk and like i don't have to know and i dont want to speculate. i just think both of these situations must have been horrible#but one of them is turned into a joke......#also i know nothing about harry styles but accusing taylor swift of queerbaiting. WHERE#don't project your sexuality (or your anything) onto celebrities like they are fictional characters........#anyway....... i had to get it out lol.
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david-watts · 1 year
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I’m actually so pissed off at that like. it started when I was a kid because I would get anxious and have nausea as a physical symptom so I’d mention feeling sick whenever something potentially anxiety-inducing came up but never actually threw up and that got labelled me a hypochondriac. at age four. and at age seven I’d do shit for attention. I suspected I had asthma and was overdramatic about it and I was RIGHT to think so but I got labelled a liar. and a hypochondriac. I’d be in pain? I’d feel sick on a near-constant basis because I was developing severe mental illness and also there was someone, possibly through actual government instructions, though partially because she was a total cunt of a human being, literally persecuting me (and others) on a near-daily basis. so I’d often feel ill. that was of course considered ‘hypochondria’ even though literally what was that meant to be? fuck’s sake. and then when I like. started going ‘hey I think there’s something wrong with my body’ I’d get told to stop overreacting. and then! I started actually getting problems noticed and like. I’d get told to push through it. how do I push through a spine injury that left me bedridden for days? if I’m not given the time of day to figure out what’s wrong with me of course I’m gonna try searching online for solutions and inevitably be wrong the first couple of times! oh, what’s that? you definitely have ptsd and adhd? oh that’s what those symptoms are! wait, what, you’re saying that I can’t possibly have those problems...? despite having the exact same symptoms as you? considering that these are the same people that insist every winter that I have reynauld’s never checking that I wasn’t experiencing literal frostbite because my grandpa had it I ought not to be surprised... it’s the default reaction. way to ignore everything. just call the problem a liar and have done with it knowing you’ve done ‘all you can’
#it's not reynauld's because it looked felt and reacted exactly like frostbite and let me tell you NEVER jump directly into#a hot bath or anything the frostbitten area will feel like it's dunked into boiling water and it hurts so badly#I wasn't even LOOKING for frostbite symptoms I was trying to prove a point that if I were paying rent this temperature would be illegal#and I went 'what temperature must it be for extremities to go numb and red/purple' and I accidentally discovered it was frostbite.#they still wanted to take my only heat source away because it gets a bit chilly in one corner of the room#because they didn't put the heat pump in the right place#how do I explain to them that no matter how much I strengthen the muscles in my back they're still gonna hurt and get overworked#trying to straighten my spine?#because. uh. if playing hockey didn't help much#if I try and do exercises to help buff them up so to speak that's just gonna push them towards 'overworked' faster#from EXPERIENCE!#I just have to bitch about this. this definitely didn't have an actual effect on me developing actual hypochondriac tendencies!!#that was sarcasm I think it definitely did#I used to think that I'd damaged my nerves somehow that time I ran away because my fingers were difficult to control and numb#but never thought it could be. y'know. frostbite. especially when stripped out of my covers in near freezing temperatures#still paranoid she'll start doing that again if she decides that we Must Follow Her Routine She Never Communicates#the frostbite thing is. forefront of my mind because it's been cold lately#I'm mad. I'm really mad. I feel like my body's failing me and I can't even SAY that because of how I get treated.
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slipper007 · 1 year
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#im sorry for how much I've been venting on here but things are shitty and hate burdening people with it#to delete#im applying for grad school now and I asked my parents very carefully if they'd be helping me with application fees or if i was on my own#and I made sure that I didn't imply that I expected it. i made sure i worded it so that it was fine if they didn't want to or couldn't.#and I made sure I brought it up when everything was calm and there were no stressors or anything.#and I just got an exasperated sigh and even before they said anything it was over. literally just say you don't want to pay. it's fine.#don't sit there and tell me my grades are great but you don't want to waste your money. that feels so much worse than just being told no.#it feels like they don't believe I'll get in and it's not worth the effort to find out.#and honestly they're probably right. I'm a wreck lately. finishing my applications feels insurmountable.#finding the money to go even if I get accepted is impossible. and that feels awful because I know so many people getting free rides already#it's just like high school all over again. everyone's practically getting paid to go to one of their top schools and then there's me.#stressed about application fees#stressed about what on earth I'll do if they say no#stressed about how I cannot afford this without loans and being in debt.#i just. i hate this. i hate myself. my applications look like shit. the recommendation I've gotten back is literally shit.#i already know I'm not gonna do well in the quote unquote adult world and honestly this is just proving it to me#i literally haven't felt like me since junior year of high school and i don't know what to do and there's just no time to rest#and no time to put my all into anything#im doing school and 10 hours of work per week with free weekends and i can't rest already#how the fuck am I going to do school and 30+ hours a week of work and make rent and commute and agh#i feel so behind and so inferior and so fucking shitty all the time and there's nothing to fucking do about it#hhhhhhh#and nobody gets it. least of all me.
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haven-sys · 1 year
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just a general reminder that if you as a stranger want to know life details a6out us that we won't even share with our friends then may6e you need to learn a6out 6oundaries. We don't even give our exact age in most spaces.
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