#feels good to be back on my bullshit

[torscrawls]

Batman’s no-kill policy is ectophobic

Summary:

“Well that just makes it sound like he thinks ghosts are worse than humans, you know? And! It got me thinking, Batman refuses to kill his enemies, right?” “Right,” Tim faintly agreed, desperately trying to make sense of this conversation. Phantom relentlessly continued, oblivious to Tim’s spiraling sanity. “Maybe that’s because he thinks that ghosts are less than humans! He doesn’t want to create more of us.”

Phantom is upset that Batman refuses to kill his enemies. Tim just wants his shift to start so he can get out of this conversation.

Words: 1 245

You can read the whole thing on AO3.

-

Tim was sitting in the break room of the Watchtower, mindlessly flipping channels on the big wall-mounted TV while trying to wake up for his next shift. Out of the corner of his eye he watched Phantom slowly drift in front of the big windows, face almost pressed against the glass and his whole attention fixed on the stars outside.

This in and of itself wasn’t anything uncommon; Phantom seemed to have an almost obsessive fascination with space, but what had caught Tim’s attention was the frown on the ghost’s face. Normally he would have a dreamy expression if not a big smile on his face as he watched the expanse outside the windows, but not today. And Tim was willing to admit that it was getting to him.

After another few minutes of switching between channels, silence, and no change in the frowning Tim pressed the off button on the remote and heaved a sigh as he turned to face the window and the floating ghost. “What’s wrong?”

Phantom startled as if he had forgotten he wasn’t alone in the room, or as if he had forgotten he could be seen by others. He had a bad habit of forgetting to turn himself visible and scaring the shit out of people around the tower. He looked over his shoulder and fixed Tim with a wide eyed, literally shining, look of confusion. “What do you mean wrong?”

Tim made a vague gesture at the ghost. “You’ve been frowning ever since I got here. Did something happen?”

Phantom turned around in the air, spinning on his own axis until he was looking at Tim upside down. Tim noted that his hair stayed in the same position throughout. He wasn’t jealous, not at all.

“Well, I was just thinking... Does Batman hate ghosts?”

Tim blinked, thrown by the direction the conversation had taken. “What? No?”

The frown on Phantom’s face deepened as he righted himself in the air. “But he just told me that he ‘was sorry for my loss’, as if something bad had happened? And when I asked him what he meant he said he regretted not being able to save me.”

Tim paused, weighting his words carefully before slowly saying, “I’m sure he just meant that he was sorry that you had… You know…” Tim trailed off, winced, and then forced out, “Died.”

It was always a hard subject to breach, nobody liked to think about death. The Justice League and the Batfamily had all come to the unanimous decision to avoid the subject around their newest member since they were convinced that he would react badly to the topic.

Phantom snorted. “Yeah I know. Kinda hard to miss.”

“I didn’t mean—”  

But Phantom cut him off, “Wait. Is that why none of you talk about death around me? You’re scared that I’m gonna be, what? Offended?”

“Well… No?” Tim said unconvincingly.

Phantom laughed. “Oh my Ancients! You did! That’s so cute!”

“You know, we don’t really talk about death with each other either,” Tim said, feeling like he had to defend himself somehow.

Phantom tilted his head, still smiling. “Why?”

Tim blinked, thrown by the question. “Because… People don’t like to think about that?”

Phantom pursed his lips in thought. “See, that’s what I meant! Isn’t that just kinda rude? I mean, I’m dead, does that mean you guys don’t wanna think about me?”

“No?” Now it was Tim’s turn to frown. “That’s different.”

“Hmm,” Phantom hummed, looking unconvinced.

Tim scrambled for a change in subject and latched onto the first thing that came to mind. “So why would you think that Bruce hated you just because he said he was sorry for your loss?”

“Well that just makes it sound like he thinks ghosts are worse than humans, you know? And! It got me thinking, Batman refuses to kill his enemies, right?”

“Right,” Tim faintly agreed, desperately trying to make sense of this conversation.

Phantom relentlessly continued, oblivious to Tim’s spiraling sanity. “Maybe that’s because he thinks that ghosts are less than humans! He doesn’t want to create more of us.”

Tim had to step in at that, feeling like they weren’t on the same page when it came to some very important fundamentals. “Phantom, you—you understand that people don’t like dying, right? It’s the end.”

Phantom tilted his head with a look of confusion. “It’s not though?”

And Tim guessed that was true. He couldn’t really argue the point with a literal ghost, now could he?

“The town I come from, people don’t really care. Death, life, it’s kinda all the same,” Phantom said happily, as if that wasn’t a very troubling statement to make. And with no respect for Tim’s quickly dwindling sanity, he continued with a thoughtful finger tapping at his lower lip, “Except that death has a lot more flying in it. And energy beams.”

Tim made a mental note to try and find out exactly what town Phantom was talking about. Hopefully it wasn’t one on Earth. He managed a resigned, “Of course,” and hoped that was the end of the conversation. He needed to have enough energy left for his whole shift after all.

But Phantom just nodded and continued on, “Batman refusing to kill his enemies is all just an obvious ploy not to have them move on as ghosts!”

“Obviously,” Tim faintly agreed.

“That’s messed up! He just wants to trap them in the human realm with him so he can torment them forever!” Phantom shook his head. “I know a couple of people in the Zone who would love to exchange torture ideas with him. I thought that Fright Knight was scary and now I’m working with a guy like that, can you believe it?”

Tim couldn’t. “I—I don’t think that’s what he means by that.”

Phantom huffed in annoyance and crossed his arms. “It’s blatant ectophobia, is what it is!”

Tim opened his mouth to try and come up with an argument when the subject of their argument stepped into the break room. Bruce addressed him with clear disapproval in his voice, “Red Robin, you’re late for your shift.”

Tim had never been so grateful to receive Bruce’s disappointment. At least he wasn’t alone in this shitshow of a conversation anymore. “I’m sorry. Me and Phantom was just having a conversation about how you’re clearly discriminatory towards ghosts.”

Bruce stopped from where he had turned to leave. “…What?”

Phantom nodded. “Yeah! Don’t think I’ve forgotten your rude comment earlier about your condolences!”

Despite the bizarre situation, Tim almost laughed at the shocked expression on Bruce’s face, visible even under the mask. His father opened his mouth, closed it, and tried again, “I was just saying that I wish I could have helped you before you ended up as a ghost.”

“And I’m saying that that’s clearly showing a preference for living people!”

Bruce pressed his mouth into a thin line before saying, “I think we need to have a conversation about the value of life if you’re going to be joining us on any more rescue missions.”

“See!” Phantom looked at Tim as he gestured angrily at Bruce “There he goes again!”

Tim got up from the sofa. “I’m late for my shift.” And he left the break room as if the ghosts of hell were at his heals. Which they kind of were; Phantom’s angry voice following him down the corridor. He really wasn’t awake enough for this shit.

[toytulini]

listen im ace and im pro kink at pride and whatever, but the way some of yall are wording your posts in response to the backlash against it is uh. really taking me back to the ace shitcourse era.

yall know theres nothing wrong with being a "virgin", right? that its not inherently shameful to have not had sex, to never have sex, even if youre not ace, even if you do want to have sex someday, like, its fine that you haven't had sex?

maybe if your problem is that theyre trying to police your behavior and shame you for expressing your sexuality, you can say that? instead of resorting to "haha stupid virgin gets no bitches" like my god. do you not hear how fucking regressive that attitude is? i know, i know, youre "joking".

get a better joke

[blorbologist]

PEOPLE TO REACH OUT TO: LAERRYN??

THIS WRINKLY FUCKING NOBODY, THIS BOTTOMFEEDER, PRESUMED TO BE ABLE TO CONTACT LAERRYN CORAMAR-SEELIE OF THE RING OF BRASS, ARCHITECT ARCANE??? THE FUCKING AUDACITY OF THIS BITCH -

[thisismisogynoir]

I love it when women hate men. I love it when women are allowed to vent to each other about how horrible and creepy men are. I love it when women form friendships with and prioritize each other over relationships with men(whether they're attracted to them or not). I love it when women put men dni in their bios and on their nude photos and on posts on their blogs. I love it when women refuse to mollycoddle and accommodate entitled male feelings with "but this doesn't mean I hate all men, I know a few men who are great, I love my father/sons/brothers/uncles/male cousins/guy friends" I love it when women complain about men WITHOUT "not all men" being a disclaimer. I love it when women avoid socializing with/refuse to be around/befriend/get close to men because they know men can't be trusted. I love it when women make "kill all men" jokes. I love it when women offer absolutely no concern or care for men's feelings and if their misandry offends men whatsoever because why should we, men are the oppressor class who have raped and killed and abused us and kept us as subjugated as second-class citizens for millennia, they regularly mistreat us and the women in their own marginalized communities still every single day and make this world so much harder and more awful for us to be in, and if we choose to hate them and not spare them any sympathy then so be it, and I don't just mean "men as a class" either, you can be a woman who doesn't want to have anything to do with any man on an individual basis and completely cuts off men from her personal life too and ykw I will love and fucking support you in that because men deserve absolutely NOTHING from us. If they're so tough and strong then they can handle it just like they can handle being lonely. If you are a woman who hates men, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE A LESBIAN AND/OR A TRANS WOMAN, then just know that I love you. I love you, I support you, and you are safe here.

[krakensdottir]

GO s2 trailer thoughts

Yeah, I have a few of my own, wanted to put them all together before they slither away.

So, people are split between Crowley being gone the last four years vs. just stepped out for milk or something, and I agree either would be hilarious. But I’m pretty sure it’s going to be the former. The vibe they have... it doesn’t feel like four years of domesticity has passed. It seems like they’re still very much figuring things out re: each other. Aziraphale’s reaction to Crowley suggesting they work together again, his wistfulness when Gabriel mentions that ‘one particular person’... yeah, there’s still yearning. Which means, friends, we are in for some serious relationship development this season.

Interesting that Crowley’s replacement is confiding in him. Casual meeting on a bench and everything. Does Hell still want to use them, or is this her initiative?

I’ve seen a lot of speculation about the lightning thing as well, but given how pissed off Crowley looks beforehand, I think he’s just letting off steam. Literally. Because that’s how demons do. Especially ones that’ve graduated from Drama Queen University. (He used to make nebulae, we’re probably lucky he’s not setting off atomic explosions instead.)

Some have spotted it already, but yeah, the candlelit dinner scene is from 1941. So it’s immediately after Crowley saved Aziraphale’s books. No wonder he’s giving him Looks across the table. (This scene was mentioned way back in the early production days, and I won’t lie, I’ve got my own hopes for it, though they probably don’t match much of the fandom’s.)

Y’all say what you want about Crowley’s angel attire, we have seen how they dress and you KNOW he’s gonna walk in without raising an eyebrow. If I had to guess, he’s going for a vibe of Pretentious Art Snob because it fits with his former angelic profession and if he has to lie to anyone up there, it’ll be more convincing to stick to what he knows. In other words, an angel seeing him in passing would be like ‘oh god, it’s one of those pricks from the Cosmic Architecture Department.’

Okay, I think that’s everything.

EDIT: Wait no, one other thing. Having seen several comments that say this or that story element is just like a fanfic they read - THIS, people, THIS is why Neil Gaiman doesn’t read your fanfics. This right here is why. Because if he did, any of those similarities would be grounds for an accusation of plagiarism. Does it make more sense now?

[knifefightandchill]

Major Krauser? What the hell? Why?

"Recovering stolen goods."

[spacedlexi]

the way the ericson group were at the outbreak just a bunch of troubled kids who made various mistakes or committed crimes and were judged by a system that punished and abandoned them instead of giving them the support and love they needed, are then nearly a decade later put into a situation where now they must judge a troubled child for the mistakes and crimes hes committed against them. and 5 to 3 vote them out 😭

[jaskiersbard]

Stating the obvious here but this scene should NEVER have been cut from Secrets of Dumbledore, there was absolutely zero need to cut it and I'm going to be forever salty about it.

There's just so much I love about this scene... Newt being Newt, Theseus cradling the baby Qilin and singing to it (my ovaries may or may not have combusted tbh), both of them in waistcoats?!?!, Pickett having a matching bandage on his little twig hand/arm just like Newt, the tiniest scraps of information about the Scamander parents - their mum used to sing to them, their dad had an old drinking song - and just the two of them being brothers... this scene shows why not only Newt but also Theseus are Hufflepuffs, shows their brotherly relationship, shows a caring older brother side of Theseus.

I'm just forever going to be mad about the potential of this series and how it's now unlikely to ever be realised.

[klazje]

DO YOU SEE THIS VISION????? CAN YOU HEAR ME??????? GUYS?????

[resident-rats]

Very back and forth on if it’s even worth making a post about lol. But basically long story short, I’m unsure when I’ll next post a fic. I’ve started one and I’m a good bit into it, just very uncertain as to when I’ll have it finished at the moment

[mymitochondriaforpresident]

Simon: *being treated with anything less than optimal love, happiness, care, kindness, adoration, protection*

Me: 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪

@anonfromtheflight: 🪓🪓🪓🪓🪓🪓🪓🪓🪓

[imminent-danger-came]

I'm so convinced that LBD's og plan was to use MK (as a battery to power her mech, just like SWK was a battery to power Spider Queen's mech in RoTSQ), and to use MK specifically to undo the memories of the world. Like. It's just lining up

[falderaletcetera]

listen. I don't just love father brown because I first saw it while ill with the flu or because it's consistently kind to the outcast in a way that has reviewers calling it Too Woke, obviously a vote in its favour. or because the recurring thief character is very pretty to watch. though those are significant parts of it.

I love it because after eight seasons father brown sits down with the village drunk (a munitions expert in the war, has a soft spot for the parish secretary, name of harold or blind harry) to find out why he gave a murder suspect a false alibi and harry explains to him, calm as you like, that seeing the life leave someone's eyes changes a person, that it's what he reckons brought father brown to his faith, that it's what drove him to drink, and he didn't see that shadow in the guy the police are chasing this time. and father brown, rather than justifying or correcting or dodging or doubting him, says he knows how unjust the situation is. that he got something good out of the horrors of the war. that harry really didn't.

it is not a perfect show and yes I have problems with it but gosh, this is a character who's largely used for comedic beats, albeit kindly, and a scene like this isn't out of place at all but it still takes my breath away. we could've been left with this as subtext, y'know? I hadn't even put together that his alcoholism must have been trauma. but instead harry tells us this directly, tells us it's about guilt, that that's something he shares with father brown, who is competent and so often cheerful and I can't even imagine when he was younger, and it's a moment of such unexpected humanity and respect. and it's such a strange thing to see these characters side by side like that.

the scene ends with father brown calling harry a good man, and harry denying it ("they was only young lads" "so were we, harold. so were we.") and the two them sharing a drink as father brown gets a bit watery-eyed and I'm crying too over my nice cosy 'this is a concerning number of murders for a sleepy english village' show and just. hi. what. ow.

I also haven't recovered from the episode that turned into a heist halfway through but frankly I'm only mentioning that because I don't know how to wrap up a post like this. (it was good though. there were two separate honeypots, three if you count the impromptu replacement, one character terrible at grifting and one unexpectedly great at it, and, somehow, a con within a con. it was really very fun. get a show that can do both, I guess?)

[ninawolv3rina]

Rly wanted to draw these two but didn’t have the patience for a full piece so here’s some sketchy sketches

OCs: Quincy (she/her), Asa (they/them)

[momomallowart]

ʕ⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴥ⁠ꈍ⁠ʔっ🌹💗 my love 💗

[goldkirk]

I DON'T HAVE TO LIE ANYMORE!