#feminist art program

[1920sitgirl]

“See you next Tuesday” cheerleaders 1970. Students of Judy Chicago's Feminist Art program, CA Uni, Fresno.

"Students in the early feminist programs, such as the Cal-Art Feminist Art Program, were taught to say the word cunt until it lost its derogatory nature and female sexuality was revalued”

[solarwonux]

Business Proposal || knj (7/?)

pairing: namjoon x f!reader || ex friends to lovers!au friends to lovers!au

Genre: fluff, angst, smut, slow burn, fwb!au, non idol!au, unrequited love

Warnings: slow burn, angst,

Rating: mature, 18+

w.c: 5.8k

Synopsis: Namjoon is living on borrowed time, and it’s time to cash in. His father is months from taking his last breathe and his life long dream is to watch his oldest son say “I do.”

a/n: hello hello hellooooo, this one is more of a filler one to get everything started. Still, I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. lmk your thoughts and if you want to be added to the tag list!

m.list || series m.list || wattpad

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10 years ago

The first time you ever met Kim Namjoon, the leaves were just beginning to change in color. The fall season was approaching. The greens of the summer were slowly fading into vibrant autumn hues. Replacing the obnoxious sticky heat, for humid and cooler winds. The leaves still hadn’t fallen, the foliage was at its peak and you were desperately trying to stay afloat. 

Somehow, you had gotten roped into a math class. Well, you weren’t necessarily roped into it. You were forced into it. It was part of the prerequisite requirements and because you had barely passed all of your Algebra exams in high school, you couldn’t plead the advisory board to accept those credits. They would’ve just laughed in your face and sent you away with a list of professors who specialized in the devil made subject. 

Now, you had hoped that college algebra was a bit easier, after three weeks of a summer intensive course you were proven wrong. You weren’t necessarily failing, but you weren’t passing either. Though, in a panic-induced state full of hope you had done the math - ironic, and came to the conclusion that if you didn’t pass the final exam, you wouldn’t be able to move onto part two of the class. 

If you had done things differently, you would’ve taken the classes at the start of your degree, just as your academic advisor had suggested. You didn’t and now you are two semesters away from a beautiful bachelors degree in arts. Achieving an impressive double major in Writing and Rhetoric and Journalism with a minor in International Communications, along with a tasteful three point nine GPA. 

You were almost there. You could savor it as you looked into master degree programs. The looming debt of your student loans was the least of your worries. At least for now. If you didn’t pass the stupid final exam, in one of the easiest math classes you could ever take in college. You would be growing a larger hole in your loan repayment agreement with the prestigious HYBE U. 

At this point you were desperate. Almost to the point in which you considered cheating. A blaspehmous thought that you only ever had in high school during science labs. Those gizmos computer stimulations were a quizlet file away, and the sweet taste of victory was even closer. 

Yet, quizlet wouldn’t work out in this scenario and finally you caved, putting away your pride for a little bit to admit that you needed help. 

A math tutor was the best option for you. Lots of college kids were desperate for another quick buck along with their less than promising part time jobs, while they struggled with juggling school in the process. You only hoped that the ad you posted on the HYBE U facebook group would workout, even if it had been a week ago and still hadn’t gotten any engagement. 

Maybe it was time to accept the truth, what’s one more extra semester. Sure, it interferes with your descriptive five year plan, but you could somehow modify it. Right?

Wrong? So very wrong. 

You needed a tutor quick. Probably in the next hour or so, because you refused to step foot in another math class again. Your life revolved around your rhetorical readings, feminist discoverings in Ancient Greece. You loved research, writing papers on things you found interesting, and developing a new perspective to already made discoveries. It was a rush. Not necessarily the writing part - it was tedious and sometimes you wondered why you even decided to pursue writing in the first place; but the sense of achievement and the ego boost you got when you typed the final sentence and the final period was euphoric. To then scroll through twenty plus pages of times new roman double spaced text that came from your brain, was a thrill. And one you would never achieve when it came to math. 

Ugh!

“You good there?” You knew that voice. It was all too familiar. You had spent countless hours sitting in a lecture hall with him telling you jokes and writing you notes retelling you the rumors he heard about your math professor.

So, maybe, your total inability to see patterns when it came to numbers wasn’t completely your fault. But the fault of the raven haired, toothy smile of the muscle bunny that you had befriended in both your science lab and college algebra courses.

You lift your head up to see Jungkook with his head cocked to the side. His right eye was a bit swollen due to the sty he had developed from scratching his eye too much with his dirty germy hands. So, he had to opt to wear his glasses, his right eye lens was a bit thicker than the left, making his eyes look a bit disproportionate. If you weren’t aware of how successful he was at getting around with both women and men you would’ve thought otherwise, due to his geeky look and fascination with RPG games. 

You groan, messing your hair with your silver ring cladded fingers. “No offense but math is the worst subject in this entire world. Why do we need it? I’m not going to use it to calculate the circumference of the can of beans I’m going to buy at the grocery store. Nor will I use the pythagorean theorem to measure the circumference of my pizza.” You rant, glancing at the time and closing your laptop. 

Your self study session was unsuccessful because all you did was refresh the facebook page hoping someone would take your twenty dollars an hour offer. 

Yes, you were incredibly desperate, even considering upping the price to appeal to more money hungry college students. 

“The fact that you’re using geometry terminology regarding a simple college algebra class tells me everything I need to know.” He grins, partially leaning his body to the side, resting his weight on the umbrella handle he was carrying. 

Fuck, you forgot it was going to rain today. 

Your day couldn’t get any worse. 

“Anyway, I’m guessing the tutor search isn’t working?”

“Bingo,” you snap your fingers at him before proceeding to gather the rest of your stuff. 

This was the part you dreaded the most. The agonizing walk to your math lecture. Honestly, if it weren’t for Jungkook consistently meeting up with you in the cafe that connected to the hallway in the math building to walk to class together. You would’ve probably never turned up after the first class. Hence why you’re not in a sinking boat. Just a partially sinking boat. 

Jungkook sighs, scratching the back of his head, watching you scoot out of the booth. He wishes he could offer you more help other than moral support and a few ‘You can do it,’  air punches. But between his computer science classes, and increasing doubt regarding his degree plaguing his mind, he’s found himself with zero free time.  

That’s when he remembers something. A small passing comment made on his way to bathroom last night as he was getting ready for bed. Maybe he does have a way to help you. His face lights up, alerting you. 

“What, why do you look like you’ve just seen a cheesecake on sale?” You adjust the strap of your leather bag, against your shoulder and make your way to his side, eyeing his umbrella. 

Would it be weird to ask him to walk you home after class? 

Shaking your head at the thought, a problem for later, you decide.

You shift your gaze to meet his. He’s biting the inside of his cheek and you’ve never been so desperate at knowing what goes on in that questionable head of his. He also never takes this long to say something. Once a thought pops into that head of his head, it's out in seconds because he’s afraid he might lose it. 

You can thank his ADHD for that one. 

“I think I might know someone who’s free on Tuesday and Thursday evenings that can probably help you out.” He squints, nodding his head, and you feel your mood turn right side up. 

You knew befriending Jungkook would end up benefiting you one day. Though, you do feel a little bit irritated, couldn’t he have told you this wonderful news, um, I don’t know a week ago as you two sat in this exact same booth, while he watched you make the stupid facebook post. 

You shove him a little, his umbrella buckling under his weight and he stumbles a bit, shock written all over his face. “What was that for?” He complains, taking a hold of his right arm in mock hurt. 

“You’ve seen me suffer and you’re now just telling me that you magically happen to know someone who can tutor me this entire time.” You huff, shoving past him, glancing at your phone screen for the time. Class was in five minutes, unfortunately.

“That’s not necessarily true.” He speaks from behind you, and you throw him a glare making him buckle under the pressure. The dramatics. He’s only been your friend for almost four weeks, but he’s already gotten used to you and he knows he’s hit a vein, and that you’re so stubborn any explanation wouldn’t work. It is always worth a try. 

“Okay maybe that’s true, but they’re pretty busy and I just assumed he would have a full schedule and no time to tutor you.” He explains, keeping up with your steps. The two of you arrive in front of the lecture hall with a minute to spare, you take it upon yourself to open the door, revealing the room full of stressed induced faces, quietly whispering to each other. 

You shake your head at Jungkook’s explanation, making your way to your usual seats. In the middle but on the outside for a quick escape if ever needed. “How do you even know this person? I thought you only had two friends.” You place your bag gently onto your desk and sit down. 

“Actually, including you, I have three friends.” 

“My friends don’t count either.” 

Jungkook rolls your eyes and slumps down next to you, spreading his legs wide, taking up all his leg room and part of yours. God, he was such a guy. 

“Do you want my help or not?” He says in feigned annoyance. 

You unzip your bag, fishing out your pencil and notebook, while he takes out his laptop. You could never understand how he was able to take math notes on a computer, but he was the self proclaimed computer genius. Well, his straight A’s in all of those freakishly hard classes were also proof, so, there must be a method to his madness. 

You sigh, setting your bag down in the empty seat next to you. “Fine, yes, please, my perfect Jungkook. I’m desperate, put me out of my misery.” You plead, hands clenched in front of you as the hushing of the students dies down, and the greeting of your Spanish accent written professor echoes throughout the class. It’s your cue to shut up and hopefully pay attention. 

“First, don’t ever say things like that.” Jungkook begins, leaning in closer to whisper, “it’s weird.” He says in disgust–the audacity. “Second, do you have plans after class?” He finishes leaning away and opening up a new blank document on his laptop. 

You shake your head at his question and click down on your mechanical pencil. You were determined to at least understand one thing in today’s lesson. Jungkook doesn’t answer, your professors voice booming throughout as he begins the lesson of the day, and you’re distracted in seconds by the light tap on your shoulder. 

You look over at your friend, his laptop screen turned in your direction so you can read the tiny invitation written in cosmic sans font. He’s a child. 

Come with me to Serendipity after class and thank me later :p

You look up at him rolling your eyes at the ending emoji. A child indeed. But you nod in agreement, you don’t know what or who is at Serendipity. Except for a solution. At least that is what you hope for because there’s a reason why you haven’t  stepped foot in there since childhood, despite Jungkook raving about it time and time again. The overpriced vanilla lattes is the main reason why. 

Yet, desperate times come along with desperate measures. And if you need to drop a couple more on your favorite caffeinated drink in order to pass math. Then so be it. 

Serendipity stood in between two worlds. It separated the lively college town from the perfect four person familial neighborhood. On weekday afternoons it was mostly frequented by college students who needed a change in scenery or remote workers with their bangs still in rollers and their eyes puffy from sleep. On Friday nights it was home to young adults grabbing dessert after a fulfilling dinner or a late caffeinated drink for a long night out. Tired office workers, likely forced to attend a company dinner, usually took up the long tables in the back wall of the first floor. 

Sunday’s were a favorite at Serendipity, young families would come from different parts of town to enjoy a late brunch. And morning runners would waltz in for a late caffeine kick before the strenuous work out around the lake that offered the cafe it’s  most famous view. 

Dionysus Lake.

Just as its name implies. The lake was a place for celebration, festivities, and madness. It’s where everything would happen for the first time. Your first fall, your first scrape. The graduation ground from a four wheeled bike to a two one. The first time you saw your crush outside of school. The first time you held hands with someone and the downfall of your first friendship with your childhood best friend—Sabrina. I was the breeding ground of impulsive decisions like getting drunk on the steps that led to the bank. With beer and soju you had gotten because you paid a broke college student scrambling in between odd jobs to buy them for you. The breeding ground of many triple dog dares and the place in which you decided what your future would be like. 

It was a right of passage from childhood to teenagehood and finally adulthood. 

It’s where couples that beat the test of time go to enjoy their last moments of humanity. Both the cafe and the lake are full of nostalgia, and so famous that it now became a must see spot from people all over the city. With inflation and the influx of people both the cafe and the lake were places you and your family had started to frequent less, until eventually it was out of your minds completely and the longing for just a fleeting moment to visit before the chaos was gone.

That is until today. 

Everything had changed so much. The rustic decor was now replaced with a mixture of antiques and plants hanging from every possible surface. The windows were now floor to ceiling and they opened up to a very cooling outside patio, where you could enjoy the view of the famous lake. They had even expanded to a second floor, and added a rooftop with fiery lights and wooden tables. It basically looked nothing like what you had grown up with and more like a pinterest board of garden core had thrown up on it. 

It also had more menu options, and gone was your favorite blueberry and mint tea you and your mom would enjoy whenever your anxiety spiked to levels in which you could not control. Everything had been replaced with something more expensive and trendy. A complaint that had been surrounding the cafe for years by everyone who grew up inside the walls. Though you hadn’t really believed it until now because you were finally working up the courage to see it for yourself. And the one thing you can only really think about—apart from the overpriced vanilla latte you had just paid for—was how could a place so familiar feel so unfamiliar at the same time. 

“Hobi always gives me a discount when I come.” Jungkook throws into the wind while he plays with the white buzzer in his hand. 

Unlike you, Jungkook and his family—from what you have gathered—were regulars. As soon as he arrived every worker greeted him with a warm smile and a simple hand wave. Some had added a mention of seeing his mom earlier. And if you hadn’t been convinced, the barista with the high nose bridge, sporting the floral shirt, a bright yellow beanie and khaki pants had already inputted his order before Jungkook could mutter the words “iced americano with a splash of vanilla syrup please.” 

“I’m sorry who?” You move your head closer, eyeing the way his hands wrapped around the buzzer. Desperately hoping for it to ring because although it was almost three and you probably shouldn’t really be drinking any form of caffeine at this time. Your body desperately needs something to keep you alert. Especially now that you were meeting your classmate's brother for the first time. 

A brother who could possibly save you from failing your college algebra class. He had told you a little about him. Apparently, he wasn’t really his brother, but his mother remarried his father when Jungkook was young, so to make matters easier for everyone involved. He would just introduce him as his older brother. He called him Joon and he was currently working on his masters in philosophy. A real pretentious nerd if someone were to ask you. They lived together in an apartment just outside of the college town, and according to Jungkook, who you have noticed likes to input his opinion where it really doesn’t matter. He was still a virgin, because he lived and breathed philosophy like one of those weird philosophers from ancient times. The only thing he needed was a laurel crown and a toga. 

His words not yours. 

Basically he didn’t really do a very good job at painting a good image of his older brother. And you were already having some negative opinions regarding him because you have dealt with a handful of pretentious boys in many of your classes that you really didn’t feel like adding another one to the mix. But again, you’ll push your preconceived notions aside. This was for your four point zero GPA and your five year plan. One more insult to your psyche and intelligence wouldn’t hurt.

Right? 

“The one that rang us up. He gave you one too, vanilla lattes are usually seven and you only paid six.” He points out before jumping at the sound of the buzzer going off. “I’ll get it.” He smiles standing up faster than you can protest, and walking off to the pick up counter. 

It’s strange that the two of you became friends or clicked so well. And you like to think that it was mainly because you shared a few classes more than anything else. He was a little energizer bunny, a right arm sprinkled with a few tattoos and a scar right above his eyebrow where a piercing had been. You were not far from the opposite, but you did have a social battery that would often run out before the end of the day. You valued the quiet and apart from the many earrings decorating your ears and the hot pink peekaboo dye job you had your mom do. You were deathly scared of needles and didn’t look nearly as rebellious as Jungkook did, even with his stupid nerdy glasses. 

“Hobi gave us cookies, on the house.” Jungkook says as he sets down the tray in front of you. “I think he might want your number.” He adds with a nonchalant tone before taking up his previous seat and getting a head start at setting the table.  

You tilt your head in confusion as he pushes a plate with a matcha cookie your way. “You’re talking nonsense. I heard you ask for a chocolate chip cookie before you paid.” You roll your eyes, grabbing your tall glass of coffee. 

Jungkook rolls his eyes, pushing the brown tray to the side. “I ordered a cookie but I didn’t order two.” He points to your cookie. “Plus he couldn’t take his eyes off you while you ordered.” He finishes and takes a long sip of his drink. He finishes with a refreshed ah and smacks his lips together in satisfaction. 

The drama. 

That’s probably another thing the two of you did have in common. You’re both dramatic in your own ways. Something the two of you discovered about each other two weeks into knowing one another. It was a long story that involved a stubbed toe and a papercut. One that wasn’t worth reminiscing about now because it added nothing to both of your lives. 

“I doubt that Kook, he’s just doing his job and he knows you.” You raise a finger at him and you take a long awaited sip of your coffee. 

Jungkook crosses his arms in front of you. “Okay then why did he ask me if you were single.” He adds in a matter of fact way. Cocking an eyebrow to prove his point. 

You narrow your eyes at him and kick him under the table. He recoils in pain, whispering explicits to not draw any more attention to the two of you. “You’re lying and I know you’re lying because I saw you order another cookie when you went to pick up our drinks.” You say leaning in closer so he can hear your whispering. 

Here’s the thing. Jungkook has been trying to set you up with every guy he deems is cute. You on the other hand are not interested, mostly because you’re still young with your whole life ahead of you. And right now the only thing that matters is your degree. 

What’s the rush?

He pouts, uncomfortably cradling his shin. “Fine, he didn’t give you a cookie on the house, but he did say you were cute. And he’s a nice guy. My brother is friends with him and he’s really funny.” 

You sigh, breaking a piece from your cookie. “I'm happy to hear that but you know that’s not a priority of mine now.” 

Jungkook rests his elbows onto the table and leans forward. “Have you ever heard of a work- life balance?” Because all you do is work and you should be out and partying. Your twenties are supposed to be full of fun.” 

“I do have fun, Jungkook.” You point out, putting the piece of cookie into your mouth before crossing your arms in annoyance. If you had a coin for every time someone in your life tried having this exact same conversation with you, then you’d probably be able to afford more of these over priced lattes. 

Jungkook sits back with his arms crossed, tonguing the inside of his cheek in suspicion. Sure, he’s only known you for a short amount of time, but every time he sees you around campus or meets up with you. You have your head buried in either a book or your fingers are flying across your laptop keyboard. He’s positive you don’t know how to have fun. 

“Fine name one instance in which you are not doing school work.” He challenges 

“My friends and I have board game nights every Wednesday and Sunday night.” 

Jungkook sits up a bit straighter, a look of shook written all over his face. “Wait, you actually have friends.” He says before lifting a hand to cover his mouth in disbelief. 

Before he can stop you, you kick his shin one more time and this time harder than the first time. This is exactly why you are surprised you’ve chosen to be friends with him. Sometimes he could get under your skin by just existing. 

“You know I have friends, Jungkook. You’ve hung out with them.” 

He doesn’t answer, instead he nods his head while he once again cradles his shin in pain. Maybe he crossed the line this time. He met Taehyung and Jimin more than once. And from what he was able to gather in the few times he’s hung out with the three of you. Is that Jimin might have a huge crush on you and Taehyung’s jokes aren’t nearly as funny as you make them out to be. Still, he thinks they’re cool. 

“Sorry I’m late, I missed my bus.” An unfamiliar voice speaks up and it makes the man in front of you sit up so straight you’re positive he’s going to break his back.

You raise a brow in confusion before turning your head to look towards the person who has the energizer bunny fix his posture and shut his mouth. 

The first thing you see is the flowy khaki pants, then his simple t-shirt topped with a blue and white checkered flannel. And finally your eyes land on his face, and the black framed glasses sitting on the bridge of his nose. His hair hides under a navy beanie and your mouth almost falls open in disbelief. 

Holy fuck, wait a second. This is the man Jungkook was describing. The nerd of a brother who could possibly still be a virgin and has his nose stuck in philosophy textbooks? Out goes your preconceived notions of the man in front of you and now you’re downright confused because this man was hot and reeked of chillaxed energy. He probably owns a few plants, and bike rides on the weekend and visits a few buddhist temples for the experience. 

Nobody says anything as the man—which you perceive is now Joon—slides into the spot next to Jungkook’s. He hasn’t really looked in your direction, except for the short glance he sent your way when he first appeared. 

Jungkook scoffs in annoyance as he scoots over making it a huge show like it’s inconvenient for him to move over. “This is Joon.” 

“Namjoon.” The older one corrects before he extends his hand for you to shake. You hesitate for a second before shaking it and telling him your name. 

He nods, retrieving his hand and sets it down on his lap. There’s a brief silence as he looks in between you and Jungkook probably trying to make sense of the situation himself because if you were being honest you’re still stunned yourself. Though you know Jungkook and his brother aren’t blood related you can’t help but feel like good genes simply run in the family somehow.

Namjoon shrugs once he’s silently done making his assumptions and sets his arms on the table, clasping his hands together. In an instant his face is replaced from a pleasing and welcoming one to one that screams he’s honestly here for business and not to fuck around. 

“Are you the one that Jungkook tells me needs help?” He questions, earning a jab from the younger one. He doesn’t react and instead keeps going. “Have to ask because he’s been trying to set me up on blind dates thanks to our mom, so if this is what this is then I’m sorry but I’m not interested.” He nods before leaning back. Joon, or Namjoon doesn’t let you respond before he stands up and walks towards the order counter. There you see him greet the same barista who you now know is Hobi thanks to Jungkook. 

You don’t linger on his figure before you turn to face Jungkook. Who looks mortified beyond belief and you can’t help but laugh because things are simply just making sense. All of Jungkook’s backhanded praises involving his brother made so much more sense. He did mention he was an asshole but you just assumed that was a simple sibling thing. No, he was most definitely right. And he fit more into the description you had once assumed before even meeting him, minus the typical nerd look you had conjured up with the brief descriptions Jungkook had provided. He was hot, and could probably crack your heart open into two, but he was exactly like those pretentious classmates you’ve had the unfortunate pleasure of encountering all throughout your degree. But for some reason you aren’t as bothered by it, because in a way it was hilarious. 

Jungkook whines, “He can’t even try to be nice for a little bit.” 

You throw your head back laughing even harder, while Jungkook continues to grumble underneath his breath in annoyance. You laugh until your stomach begins to hurt and until someone clears their throat making your giggles die down slowly. 

“Why is Hobi giving out free cookies?” He points out before setting his tray down and taking up the seat next to his brother again. To which Jungkook silently gestures to the cookies and you as if to prove his earlier point. Namjoon rolls his eyes at his brother's actions before turning to face you. 

“He also told me to give you his number but I told him that I didn’t know you and that if he wanted your number he should just ask you himself.” He shrugs, taking a sip of his dark liquid and making the same satisfied noise Jungkook had made earlier. 

Ah, maybe dramatics also run in the family. 

You stir the liquid of your latte with your straw. “Um thanks I guess.” You take a sip of your drink as he nods. 

The atmosphere is so awkward that you want the entire cafe to fall through a hole in the ground. The three of you are silent before Jungkook’s phone lights up and starts buzzing. He quickly grabs it and silences it before standing up. “Sorry, I have to go. I forgot I had this thing to do.” He says inconspicuously before grabbing his book bag and throwing it over his shoulder.

You scramble eyes going wide as he adjusts the straps and straightens his black long sleeve. “Wait where are you going? I thought we had plans after this.” 

Jungkook bites his lip, silencing his buzzing phone again when it goes off a second time. “Sorry Bun, I have to really go, it's important. I’ll see you at home Joon.” He salutes before basically running out of the cafe. 

“Typical.” Namjoon catches your attention and rolls his eyes. “I knew he had something planned when he asked me to meet him here last minute. I’m really sorry about him but I’m really not interested in dating right now.” He says before grabbing hold of his bag and going to stand up. 

Your body is filled with panic as you watch him. You do have a few choice words for the person that just ditched you with his brother. But this could be your last resort and you weren’t going to let him walk away. “Wait.” You extend your arm in his direction. He stops slipping on his bag and raises a brow at you in curiosity. 

“I actually do need help. I’m close to failing my college algebra course…well I will fail it if I don’t pass the final exam.” You begin to explain, finally grabbing his full attention as he stuffs his hands into the pocket of his pants. “Jungkook mentioned you could probably help out.” You bring down your hand, circling both of them around your watered down latte. “That’s why I’m here. I promise this isn’t a blind date or anything.” 

Namjoon nods, looking at the entrance before sitting down again, sighing, his shoulders relaxing instantly. And you’re once again met with the same nonchalant demeanor he had approached you and Jungkook. Once again things started to make sense, why he had made the switch so quickly. It was something he was probably so used to by now, but now as he adjusts himself in the seat in front of you. You can see that maybe he could not really be that bad. 

“In that case I can stay.” He grins, pushing his iced coffee to the side. “I should warn you I’m not the best when it comes to math but college algebra is easy so I can help you out.”

You let out a big sigh of relief and nod your head. “Thank you so much you don’t understand how much you’re already helping me out by agreeing.” 

Namjoon chuckles lightly before reaching into his side bag and taking out a plain black notebook with a pen. “In that case we should figure out our schedules.” He opens the notebook to a blank page and uncaps the pen. “Does Tuesday and Thursday at seven work for you?” He tilts his head in question. 

You nod rapidly. “That’s perfect for me.” 

He hums and writes down your name with the agreed days and times next to it. He closes it quickly and puts it in his bag. “Great, I'll see you next Tuesday.” 

That’s it? It was that easy? Then why the heck did it take such a long time for someone to respond to your Facebook post. Especially when you had increased the payment. 

Payment. Oh you had forgotten about it, and from

What it seems like so did Namjoon because he was already getting ready to go again. 

“Wait.” 

He stops, eyeing you in confusion but you decide to continue. “How much do you charge?” 

Namjoon opens his mouth and closes it quickly. He puts a pensive hand on his chin before snapping his fingers in front of him. “I think you’re the one Jungkook mentioned about studying writing.” 

“Writing and Rhetoric.” You correct before he can continue going. He nods in acknowledgment.

“Yeah, that’s what he said. I’m sure he mentioned what I was studying and if I’m being honest I hate revising my own writing. So, instead of paying me in money you can just revise my work in exchange for tutoring lessons.” He offers with a shrug. 

You would be a fool to not take up this magnificent offer, so quickly you agree, extending your hand for him to shake. He takes it and for a second you swear you feel your heart drop down to your belly from just his touch. But you brush it off quickly when he retrieves his hand. It’s probably just the caffeine anyway. 

“Great, it’s a pleasure doing business with you.” He smiles, and this time it is wide enough in which you can see his cute little dimples. “See you on Tuesday.” 

Before you can respond with the same statement he’s already rushing out of the cafe. Leaving you alone in the booth, with three unfinished iced coffees and cookies. 

You can’t really make out anything, just that this was probably the longest day of your life. And that unbeknownst to you, you can slightly feel the light crack in the corner of your heart. One that you will later on learn was the moment Namjoon had started to infiltrate it.

hope you liked it!

[wh0-is-lily]

Students in Judy’s Chicago feminist art program at California State University, 1970.

[emma-dennehy-presents]

Celebrating Black Queer Icons:

Tourmaline

Tourmaline (formerly known/credited as Reian Gossett)is a trans woman that actively identifies as queer, and is best known for her work in trans activism and economic justice. Tourmaline was born July 20, 1983, in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. Tourmaline's mother was a feminist and union organizer, her father a self defense instructor and anti-imprisonment advocate. Growing up in this atmosphere allowed Tourmaline to explore her identity and encouraged her to fight in what she believes in. Tourmaline has earned a BA in Comparative Ethnic Studies, from Colombia University. During her time at Colombia U, Tourmaline taught creative writing courses to inmates at Riker's Island Correctional Institute, through a school program known as Island Academy. Tourmaline has worked with many groups and organizations in her pursuit of justice. She served as the Membership Coordinator for Queers For Economic Justice, Director of Membership at the Sylvia Rivera Law Project, and as a Featured Speaker for GLAAD. Tourmaline also works as a historian and archivist for drag queens and trans people associated with the 1969 Stonewall Inn Uprising. She started doing this after noticing how little trans material was being archived, saying that what little did get archived was done so accidentally. In 2010 Tourmaline began her work in film by gathering oral histories from queer New Yorkers for Kagendo Murungi's Taking Freedom Home. In 2016 Tourmaline directed her first film The Personal Things, which featured trans elder Miss Major Griffin-Gracy. For the film Tourmaline was awarded the 2017 Queer Art Prize. Tourmaline served as the Assistant Director to Dee Rees on the Golden Globe nominated historical drama, Mudbound. Tourmaline has co produced two projects with fellow filmmaker and activist Sasha Wortzel. The first was STAR People Are Beautiful, about the work of Sylvia Rivera and Street Transvestite Action Revolutionaries. The second was Happy Birthday, Marsha, about Marsha P Johnson. Happy Birthday, Marsha had all trans roles played by trans actors. Tourmaline's work is featured or archived in several major museums and galleries. In 2017 her work was featured in New Museum's exhibit Trigger: Gender as a Tool and a Weapon. In 2020 the Museum of Modern Art acquired Tourmaline's 2019 film Salacia, a project about Mary Jones. In 2021 the Metropolitan Museum of Art acquired two of Tourmaline's works for display in Before Yesterday We Could Fly: An Afrofuturist Period Room. Tourmaline is also the sibling of:

Che Gossett

Che Gossett is a nonbinary, trans femme writer and archivist. Gossett specializes in queer/trans studies, aesthetic theory, abolitionist thought and black study. Gossett received a Doctorate in Women's and Gender Studies, from Rutgers University, in 2021. They have also received a BA in African American Studies from Morehouse college, a MAT in Social Studios from Brown University, and a MA in History from the University of Pennsylvania. Gossett has held a fellowship at Yale, and currently holds fellowships at Harvard, Oxford, and Cambridge. Gossett's writing has been published in a number of anthologies and they have lectured and performed at several museums and galleries of note, including the Museum of Modern Art and A.I.R. Gallery. Gossett is currently working on finishing a political biography of queer Japanese-American AIDS activist Kiyoshi Kuromiya.

I originally intended to do separate profiles for Che Gossett Tourmaline, but could not find sufficient information about Che Gossett, beyond their credentials and current academic activity. That means that this will be the last of these write ups for a bit. I plan on picking it back up in October for the US's LGBT History Month and UK's Black History month. With time to plan ahead and research more I hope to diversify my list geographically and improve formatting. I plan on starting to include cis icons as well, like Rustin Bayard. If you come across this or any other of these posts Ive made this month I would love feedback and suggestions for figures you would like to see covered.

[lazystar]

Aetherea

Hwang Hyunjin x Plus Size! Reader

Art Student AU

Warnings/Notes:

18+ SMUT AHEAD!!! MDNI!!!!!

Love at First Sight, stupidly artsy language, undefined relationship used as a plot point, Hyunjin being down horrendous, Reader being a sweetheart, god i love this couple that came out my brain. Smut Contains: Oral (F Rec), Lots of Dirty Talk!, Slight Dom!Hyunjin and Sub!Reader, Mirror Sex, detailed descriptions, lots of love and passion. My usual humor filled ending because i am just a silly little goose.

Est. Word Count: ~4K

The moment his eyes locked with yours the world went silent, it was as if nothing mattered besides the angel in his view. Hyunjin was enamored from the moment you came into his world. The art major could wax poems, create Shakespeare rivaling sonnets, write an epic about the new muse that had come into his life. But he didn’t even know your name.

You had just transferred to JYP University that semester, you had chosen to come to the university to study art history after hearing about how good its varying arts programs were. The day you walked into your first painting course of the semester you had felt eyes on you as you sat down, you turned your head to see the most beautiful boy looking your way. His cheekbones and jawline looked like a sculptor had meticulously carved them out of marble, his luscious hair fell like a stone waterfall to his shoulders. He was something romantic poets dreamt of describing. Yet, here he was looking at you with a soft smile. You chose in the moments you had before your professor walked in to change seats to join the boy at his table.

“Um, I hope I’m not intruding or being weird, but you just give off the impression of someone I’d like to know. I’m Y/N, is it okay if I sit with you? I uh I don’t really know anyone here.” Your voice was shy and light, he was in awe that your cherub like self chose him to speak to.

“Y/N… that’s a beautiful name. I would love it if you would sit with me! I’m Hyunjin by the way, I’m an art major, I’m concentrating on painting but I also want to sculpt.” He smiled at you, his honeyed voice was warm and soft as it filled your ears. You had felt the flush come over your soft cheeks and you tried to avoid eye contact as you smiled to yourself shyly. He couldn’t help but take his pencil and sketch the view in front of him. “Y/N, you’re breathtaking.” He whispered, you barely caught the words. You turned toward him with a shocked gaze and he just gave you a shy smile.

As the weeks passed by, you and the boy with forever paint stained cuffs on his shirts grew closer. He never failed to make you blush with his compliments and words of praise to you. You were equally as good at bringing a smile to his face with your own compliments to his artistic prowess. On days where the two of you had time to relax you two would sit under the large oak tree in the courtyard talking about your favorite artists, artworks, films, anything that you both could spend hours rambling about. When you were talking he would lay his head on your plush thighs and rest it softly against the softness of your stomach as your hands played in his hair. He would keep his gaze locked on the brightness that filled your eyes as you passionately discussed the works of your favorite artists like Jenny Holzer along with other feminist artists. He was enamored with you, as were you with him. Neither of you needed to declare your infatuation, it was mutually understood that you two had become more than friends.

That was, until Hyunjin’s friends began to ask about you. The soft spoken, round cheeked, curvaceous goddess that had taken their friend’s attention from anyone else around him.

“Hyunjin, who is this new girl you’re always with? Your new giiirrrrlfrienddd?” Seungmin ribbed him as their friend group settled into their seats for dinner in the dining hall. You couldn’t join due to having to work on a paper discussing the importance of some art movement, he couldn’t recall which one.

“She’s uh— she’s someone important to me, we don’t really have a label or anything. I don’t know, it’s like we just get one another.” He responded with a shrug as he shoveled a fork filled with salad into his mouth.

“Sounds like you’re still single then bud, no conversation about what you are means you’re still a free man you know.” The younger male continued with a similar shrug and a laugh. This caused Hyunjin to pause, no label means neither of you owe the other anything. Does this mean he wasn’t the only guy making you blush, were there others trying to steal kisses from you while you painted? Were there others trying to make you laugh that fairylike giggle you would let out? Was he not your muse the way you were to him?

“I’ve gotta go!” He bolted up from his seat to race to your dorm room before his friends could even get him to explain. He needed to confirm he was your one and only, he couldn’t bare the idea of anyone else being in love with you the same way he was.

“Y/N open the door!” He frantically pleaded as he stood panting on the other side of the heavy wooden structure. You rose from your hunched position over your laptop to open it, confused as to why Hyunjin was sounding hysterical on the other side. You knew he was supposed to be eating with his friends, so why was he here now?

“Y/N please tell me I’m the only one you love. I’m scared someone else is going to steal you away from me. I need to know I am the only man who makes you smile, the only man who makes you blush, the only man you let kiss you when we’re in the back of class. Please tell me, I’m your one and only.” He rushed out as you opened the door, tears were flooding his warm coffee colored eyes as he stepped towards you to hold your face in his hands. The tears were cascading down his cheeks as he looked into your eyes, your heart was shattered seeing the panic on his face.

“My love, what are you going on about?” You cooed looking up at his red face, the usual stoicism far from his expression as true fear was laced in his furrowed brow and wide yearning eyes. “Of course you’re the only man for me. I love you, everything about you. Your hands create masterpieces, your mind is something people will want to study for its creativity. You are always going to be amazing to me, from those beautiful eyes that find beauty in everything, to those soft lips that you use to kiss me, to the strength you hold in every muscle. You are a work of art Hwang Hyunjin, I would be a fool to not love you.” You said softly as you pulled him from the doorway, you gently tugged him into your small dorm bed, pushing aside your laptop to hold his head on your ample chest. You let him draw patterns on the skin of your thigh which was only covered by the hem of the oversized shirt you had been wearing. You set your glasses aside, a pair you usually only wore for when you would be on the computer for hours on end, and looked toward the sniffling boy. “My angel, what brought this up?”

“The boys were teasing me about how much I like you. They said that since we don’t have a label that means we weren’t together. I began to panic! We are together right?!” You let out a soft snort and began to laugh quietly at his furrowed brow and worrisome expression. “Hey! Why are you laughing at me baby?” The boy pouted and looked over at you deeply offended. A smile slowly crept into his lips as he saw the adoration in your eyes, soft smile, and blush stained plump cheeks. You Looked at him as if he was the holder of the universe in its entirety.

“You are just too cute, Hyunjin. I’ve been yours from the moment you spoke to me. It was love at first sight for me and you know that. Sure we didn’t get serious until a little later but I am so deeply in love with you, label or not I am yours and you are mine.” You said as you kissed all over his face. His smile grew as he maneuvered to capture your lips in a deep breath stealing kiss. Your hands found purchase on his shoulders and his at your waist as the air surrounding you both grew heavy with need and passion.

You sighed into the kiss and clutched onto his shoulders as he licked against your bottom lip asking for entrance. You opened your mouth to let him in and mewled softly as he moved so your back was against the mattress and he was on top of you. You opened your eyes as the kiss broke to see the love struck look he was giving you. You raised your hand to cup his cheek, thumb softly rubbing over his high cheekbone, you mirrored his smile and said just with the look in your eyes how much he really meant to you.

“Y/N, be my girlfriend.” He whispered as he leaned back down to steal another passionate kiss.

“Of course my love.” You softly replied against his lips as you wrapped your arms around his neck to pull him as close as possible. The kiss grew heated as the two of you used the moment to show how deeply you were in love with each other. Clothes were slowly coming off, neither of you seemed to care who was removing what from the other, all you two cared about was getting more skin to skin contact with your lover.

You both were nude except for your underwear, the wet patch on the gusset of your panties was something Hyunjin couldn’t tear his eyes from. The two of you had sex before, but it was nothing like this. It was usually heated and quick, the two of you engulfed in lust and need for the other. It wasn’t soft like this, passionate like this, it wasn’t making love.

He was used to rough, hard, fast sexual escapes with you after nights out, where his possessive nature would take over seeing the way other men’s eyes would graze over your plump frame. He would end those nights pulling you into some random bedroom at a party or the bathroom to stake his claim, he had to let everyone know you were his. This time around he had to know from you that he was yours.

He ripped his gaze from the space between the plush thighs he hoped he could be buried between if given the choice. He looked up slowly toward your face, using the time to commit to memory; every stretch mark, ripple of plush fat that made you feel like a perfect pillow for his head on the days he needed to be held, he took in every freckle that was on your skin, everything you some days viewed as an imperfection. His eyes made their way up to your breasts where he took them in his hands softly teasing your nipples eliciting moans and mewls of want from you.

“You are so fucking beautiful Y/N, look at you, you’re a masterpiece.” He whispered as he trailed small love bites down your body to nestle his way between your thighs. “I could be buried here in between these fucking thighs, fuck I would be in heaven.” He muttered to himself as he licked at the wet patch on the gusset of the cotton underwear you hadn’t taken off yet. He was relishing in your soft whines and airy moans as he teased your clit through your panties, moaning himself at the taste and your responsiveness to even the slightest touch from him. He was in heaven, he was on cloud nine, he was enjoying every little reaction you gave as he nipped at your thighs and toyed with you.

“Baby, don’t tease me please. I need you.” You whimpered out as he kept toying with your pussy through your panties. They were uncomfortably stuck to you thanks to how worked up you were from Hyunjin’s predatory gaze when he would look up at you from between your thighs. Your pleas and begging eyes had him practically coming undone in that moment as he looked up at you. Your hair was sticking to your forehead from sweat, your chest heaving from your moans and pants, your skin flushed from arousal, you were erotic in every sense of the word.

He swiftly ripped your panties off of you and began to suckle on your clit like you were his last meal on death row, expertly maneuvering from sucking at your clit to burying his tongue deep within your seeping cunt. He had you veering on the edge of an orgasm within minutes, you sat up slightly to watch him and your nails were leaving scratches at his shoulder as the other hand clutched his hair, your nails slightly dug into his scalp as you clutched harder around his expert tongue as you teetered closer to cumming. He groaned at the slight pain, loving how reactive you were, how your moans echoed off the stone walls of the room, how he had to pin you down as you thrashed in pleasure. He could do this for hours, and if you let him he would.

His groan snapped that thin wire within you holding you back from the mind numbing sensation of orgasm. The high rocked through you like you had been shot into space, tremors of pleasure had your muscles quaking, your mind turning to mush, your only thoughts consisting of Hyunjin, Hyunjin, Hyunjin. You whipped your head back in pleasure as your orgasm shook you, your face was screwed into a silent scream as waves of pleasure kept crashing through you like a storm filled sea rocking against oceanic cliffs, all the while Hyunjin’s expert tongue kept working at you, his thumb was softly circling your clit as you whimpered at the overstimulation. He heard your soft whimper and pulled away, sucking at the fingers you hadn’t even realized he had been working you open with, your release covered his lips and chin. It was the sexiest thing you had ever seen, you pulled him up into a heated kiss as you tugged at his boxers.

“I need these off now, I want to make you feel good too.” You whined against his lips. He chuckled darkly and shook his head. Your nose scrunched as you pouted, you tugged his boxers again in a silent demand to have his hard cock against your tongue. You loved taking him into your mouth, the stretch his thick cock had against your lips, the way his length had you gagging less than halfway down it as you took him down your throat. You loved his guttural moans as you worked him toward his own release. You needed to return the favor, you needed to make him feel good. You wanted it so desperately at that moment.

“My angel there’s always time for that later, I won’t be able to feel that perfect pussy if I’m cumming down that beautiful throat of yours.” Your thighs clenched at his words. You began to already feel your mind descend into the fucked out state you always ended up in. Looking up at him with wide eyes and pouty lips you nodded in understanding. Your pussy pulsed as you recalled the pleasurable pain of every time his thick cock would stretch you open, how his length would kiss that spot deep inside you that had your eyes rolling back and your mind going numb.

Hyunjin was massive, no other word to describe it. His cock was long, curved, and thick, it had you reeling every time it kissed that sweet spot that had stars dancing behind your eyelids. He had tears running down your cheeks from how it slightly hurt when he thrusted his full length inside you, no amount of preparation seemed to stop the sting of your pussy stretching to accommodate him, you loved the delicious feeling of him stuffing you full.

Before you knew it Hyunjin had positioned you to face the mirror in your dorm room. It was one you hadn’t found a spot for so it sat on the floor facing the foot of your bed, perfectly angled so you could see yourself as he positioned his cock at your entrance. “I want you to see how beautiful you are as I fuck this perfect pussy.” He growled into your ear as he left marks on the crux of your neck, he pushed in as his teeth grazed your sensitive spot. A loud high pitched whine left your lips as your eyes screwed shut, Hyunjin began to pull out, shaking his head slightly and tutting his tongue against his teeth in dissatisfaction. You whined at the slight degradation and tried to turn your head to look at him. He dug his fingers into your hair and turned you back toward the mirror. “I said I want you to watch yourself angel, that means eyes open. I want you to see what a good whore you are for me my love, you are so good for me right?” His gruff voice had your head spinning, you had to be good for him.

“ ‘m sorry Jinnie! I’ll be good for you, I’ll always be so fucking good for you. Please, let me be good for you, I need you!” You plead. Your eyes were welling up at the idea of disappointing your boyfriend, you were already so fucked out, mind empty except for the desire to please him. He moaned at your perfectly pathetic begging and wide pleading eyes. Your gaze stayed locked on his through the reflection as you arched your back and angled your chest closer to the bed. Your leaking pussy was perfectly on display to him and he let out another deep moan as he took in the sight before him.

“See baby, you can be so fucking good for me. Look at you, a perfect little whore all for me, your Jinnie.” He said before letting out a deep pornographic groan as he buried his cock deep inside you, his tip kissing your cervix as he pushed himself to the hilt. You fought to keep your eyes open as a wanton moan of pained pleasure fell from your lips, you watched as sweat began to drip down your boyfriend’s brow as he thrusted in and out of you, you watched as his own face scrunched up with pleasure, your eyes couldn’t leave your view of him. He was beautiful as he fucked into you. He caught your eyes looking at him instead of yourself. To redirect you he began to lay harsh spankings across your ass cheeks to remind you to focus on yourself.

A moan mixed with a surprised yelp fell from your lips as your eyes focused on your own reflection, your heavy tits swung with every thrust, you could see the way your ass rippled as his hips snapped against it, you saw the fucked out look in your eyes, the way your hair stuck to your forehead with sweat. The whole scene reflected back to you was beautiful, it was pure passion and emotion in one moment.

“Jinnie, we look fucking beautiful right now.” You brokenly whispered through moans as his thrusts grew harder and faster, your face was almost pressed into the bed as he plowed into you. He let his gaze wander to the mirror from where he had been watching his cock slide in and out of you and he let out a broken moan of his own at the sight before him. His muse was the purest vision of lust and beauty with wild fucked out eyes and flushed skin, the hickies decorating your skin adding to the way you looked. You looked filthy, erotic, and gorgeous as he made whines and broken moans fall from your lips as he worked you toward another release. He moved his hand to hoist you up so your back was against his chest as his thrusts grew sloppy. He was teetering toward his own euphoria and wanted nothing more than to feel you reach you’re and gush all over his cock as you both came together.

“Cum with me angel, let me feel you cum all over my cock, I need to feel you take it all, come on milk me dry baby. I know you’re close I can feel it” His gravelly fucked out voice was all it took for him to send you off the edge once more, your walls clenched around his cock and triggered his own orgasm which flooded your pussy. Your release splashed against his thighs as you shook from orgasm, your walls fluttered around his cock as he pumped his load deep inside you. It was messy, it was euphoric, it was beautiful.

Cum was coating both of your thighs as he hissed pulling out, he watched in awe as your quivering thighs shook while his load leaked out of your cunt. You looked like pure sex in his eyes, your eyes shut, chest heaving as you came down from the throws of ecstasy, your skin was tinged with redness from the exertion you had just endured, your eyes were shut as your muscles twitched ever so slightly, you had a slight puddle beneath your ass from the mixture of your release and Hyunjin’s, the scene before your boyfriend was purely pornographic. Hyunjin had to stop himself from reaching for his cellphone to take a photo of the sight before him. He had more opportunities for that ahead now that your relationship was defined by those two silly words he was so happy to now have in the vocabulary of your relationship, he knew more moments like these would be on the horizon.

He grabbed a towel and helped you clean up before he pulled you into his arms kissing your forehead uttering loving praises. Your sleepy smile filled kisses decorated any piece of skin you could reach as you uttered your own praises toward him. You both held each other tightly as you basked in the afterglow of sex and love. You both felt your breathing even out and eyes grow heavy as you clung to one another’s sweaty skin. Your plush arms held Hyunjin close and he began to nestle his head into the crux of your neck as he took in your scent and felt the tendrils of sleep pull him in.

His phone loudly buzzing on the floor cut the moment short. It buzzed repeatedly causing the case to rattle against the hard dorm room floor. He groaned and glared toward the offending object ready to let it go to voicemail and planning on blocking whoever was disturbing his peace. He was about to enjoy a peaceful nap in the arms of the love of his life and some asshole just had to ruin the moment.

“Jinnie baby, just go answer it, it could be very important.” You tiredly prompted as you snuggled deeper into the blankets, slowly losing your own battle against sleep. He let out a whine tinged groan once more, and with a huff he slid out of the small bed. Irritated, he walked toward the spot on the floor where the offensive buzzing was coming from and grabbed his phone to answer it.

“Hello?” He started with a bark in his voice. Irritated beyond belief that his peace had been disturbed.

“Hwang where the fuck have you been we called you like 10 times. You ran off with no information about where you were!” Seungmin’s loud voice made Hyunjin hold the device far away from his ear. He turned his head to see you fast asleep with a smile on your face, soft snores leaving your kiss bruised lips. He was so in love with you, and knew you would forgive him for his next statement.

“If you must know, I was just having the best sex of my life with my beautiful girlfriend.” He smirked as Seungmin loudly groaned in disgust, his voice radiating through the reciever. Laughing he continued, “By the way Min, thanks for lighting the fire under my ass to talk to her about a label. It feels a lot better now knowing I have that with her.”

“Wasn’t my intent but I do expect your firstborn to be named after me now. Speaking of, you two are being safe right? I’m not ready to be an uncle just yet!”

“Okay. One, absolutely not. I would never name a child after you. Two, shut the fuck up. Three, bye!” With that he hung up the call and slid back under the covers with you, smiling as you unconsciously moved to be closer to him. He wishes he could paint how happy you made him feel, but the sketch books filled with drawings of you when you didn’t know he was watching would have to do. He couldn’t capture every moment with you on canvas but he could live it, which was better in the end.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you for reading! lmk what you thought with a comment or reblog! <3

Taglist: @stanskzsstuff @sunflowerstay25

[tetw]

10 Essential Essays by Joan Didion

Slouching Towards Bethlehem - The center was not holding. It was a country of bankruptcy notices and public-auction announcements and commonplace reports of casual killings and misplaced children and abandoned homes and vandals who misspelled even the four-letter words they scrawled...

Goodbye to All That - When I first saw New York some instinct, programmed by all the movies I had ever seen and all the songs I had ever heard about New York, informed me that things would never be quite the same again...

Holy Water - Some of us who live in arid parts of the world think about water with a reverence others might find excessive...

Why I Write - Exploring the art of writing, and what it means to the author...

The Women's Movement - To those of us who remained committed mainly to the exploration of moral distinctions and ambiguities, the feminist analysis seemed a particularly narrow and cracked determinism...

The Santa Ana - There is something uneasy in the Los Angeles air this afternoon, some unnatural stillness, some tension. What it means is that tonight a Santa Ana will begin to blow...

After Life - In the aftermath of her husband's death, Didion meditates on the fickle fragility of life...

On Self Respect - Once, in a dry season, I wrote in large letters across two pages of a notebook that innocence ends when one is stripped of the delusion that one likes oneself...

Fixed Opinions, or The Hinge of History - A startlingly insightful account of the ideological aftermath of 9/11...

On Keeping a Notebook - A beautiful meditation on keeping notes that explores the heart of the writing process...

[haggishlyhagging]

One cannot discuss The Feminists without first discussing its founder, Ti-Grace Atkinson. Her biography is relevant not only because she so dominated the group while a part of it, but also because it can help illuminate why it was that Atkinson was so invested in being the most radical of all radical feminists. Atkinson was raised in an upper-class, Republican family in Louisiana. After marrying at the age of seventeen, she attended the University of Pennsylvania where she received her B.F.A. While living in Philadelphia she helped establish that city's Institute of Contemporary Art and wrote art criticism for Art News. She and her husband divorced in 1961, and in the mid-60s she moved to New York and enrolled in Columbia's graduate program in political philosophy. When she joined NOW in 1967, at the age of twenty-eight, she was a registered Republican with no prior political experience. However, Atkinson was no novice to feminist ideas. She had read Simone de Beauvoir's The Second Sex in 1962 and, like so many other other women who helped spark the second wave of feminism, she was profoundly affected by it. Feeling isolated, she wrote to de Beauvoir in 1965, who suggested that she write to Betty Friedan. Atkinson did contact Friedan, who initially viewed her as her protégé. Indeed, Friedan claims that it was she who pushed Atkinson into NOW's leadership for she felt that Atkinson's "Main Line accent and ladylike blond good looks would be perfect . . . for raising money from those mythical rich old widows we never did unearth." Before long, however, Friedan discovered that Atkinson was anything but an obedient acolyte.

Atkinson's turbulent relationship with NOW began in February 1967, when she attended the first organizational meeting of the New York chapter. In December 1967 she was elected president of New York NOW, by far the largest and the most radical of all the NOW chapters. Although there were forty-five other chapters, the New York chapter contained thirty percent of the organization’s membership. Kate Millett, author of the 1970 bestseller Sexual Politics, feminist playwright Anselma dell'Olio, and civil-rights lawyer Florynce Kennedy were among the more radical women who belonged to this chapter. As a result of her involvement in NOW, Atkinson met women who politicized her about other forms of oppression and who introduced her to the "more radical factions" at Columbia University during the strike of 1968. As Atkinson puts it, "my feminism radicalized me on other issues, not vice versa."

But as Atkinson became more radical she grew disillusioned with NOW, and the NOW establishment grew increasingly apprehensive about her. From the beginning, Atkinson wanted the organization to take "unequivocal positions . . . on abortion, marriage, the family"—the very issues which many members were anxious that NOW avoid. Increasingly, Atkinson staked out positions that were on the cutting edge of feminism. For instance, abortion-rights activist Cindy Cisler contends that it was Atkinson who first pointed out the inconsistency of supporting both the repeal and the reform of abortion laws. Moreover, Atkinson's involvement with controversial figures like Valerie Solanas and abortion advocate Bill Baird made the NOW establishment extremely uneasy. Her very public show of support for Valerie Solanas in the aftermath of the Warhol shooting infuriated many NOW officers who feared that people might think the organization actually condoned the act. Years later, Friedan was still furious about Atkinson's behavior. "No action of the board of New York NOW, of National NOW, no policy ever voted by the members advocated shooting men in the balls, the elimination of men as proposed by that SCUM Manifesto!" Of course, Atkinson's outrageousness delighted the press who seemed to hang on her every word. As early as March 1968, a New York Times reporter labeled Atkinson the movement's "haute thinker."

The situation came to a head on October 17, 1968, when Atkinson and other "younger dissenting" members tried to bring participatory democracy to NOW. They proposed that NOW scuttle elections and instead choose officers by lot and rotate the positions frequently to equalize power within the organization. However, the New York chapter defeated the proposed by-laws by a two-to-one margin. Atkinson claimed that the speeches given by those opposing the democratization of NOW

“revealed unmistakably that the division in N.O. W. as well as in the feminist movement as a whole is between those who want women to have the opportunity to be oppressors, too, and those who want to destroy oppression itself.”

To Atkinson, the lopsided vote demonstrated beyond a doubt that NOW was part of the problem rather than the solution. She resigned that night as New York chapter president and from her four other NOW offices as well. In her press release, Atkinson explained that the dissidents wanted

“to get rid of the positions of power, not get up into those positions. The fight against unequal power relationships between men and women necessitates fighting unequal power everyplace: between men and women (for feminists especially), but also between men and men, and women and women, between black and white, and rich and poor.”

Although several other NOW members apparently had vowed that they too would resign from the organization if the proposed by-laws were defeated, only two other women besides Atkinson left the organization in protest.

-Alice Echols, Daring to Be Bad: Radical Feminism in America: 1967-75

[f1ghtsoftly]

All The Feminist News You Missed This Week 2/9/2024

In Our Movement:

New York Times Opinion Piece on Detransitiioners (PAYWALLED)

US News:

California: Tracy Chapman Performs At The Grammys

Virginia: Near-Total Abortion Ban Rejected By House Panel

Seattle: Police Officer Makes Racist, Sexist, Remarks After Killing Graduate Student

California: Jenn Jackson Publishes New Book On Black Feminism

California: Dua Lipa Celebrates How Many Women Were Nominated At The Grammys

International:

Afghanistan: Afghan Women Urge UN To Be Included At Doha Conference Next Week

Vatican: Pope, Cardinals Discuss Women's Role In The Catholic Church

France: France On-Track to Constitutionalize Abortion Rights

India: Female Rappers Take on A Male Dominated Music Scene in The South Of India

China: Art Exhibit Honoring Female Artists Opens in Beijing

India: Women's Film Festival, Focused on Sci-Fi and Horror, Begins

The Ivory Coast: Agricultural Program in The Ivory Coast Empowers Women Financially

Britain: Mothers Support and Promote Eachother Inside The Music Industry

Spain: Controversy Over Spain's, Potentially Sexist, Eurovision Entry "Zorra"

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[1997thebracket]

Round 2A

Revolutionary Girl Utena: If it cannot break its shell, the chick will die without ever being born. This sentiment, originally found in Hermann Hesse’s 1919 novel Demian, features during a repeated sequence in the 1997 anime Revolutionary Girl Utena. Hesse is far from the only reference to philosophical, surrealist, or heavily symbolic text in the show, which trades in visual metaphor and multi-layered subtext. Revolutionary Girl Utena follows the story of Utena Tenjou, a young orphan who aspires to princehood-- challenging or outright circumventing the place of gender in that aspiration-- and is entangled in a series of duels centered around a girl named Anthy Himemiya. Written by Kunihiko Ikuhara, Chiho Saito, and Yōji Enokido (known collectively as Be-Papas) and soundtracked by J.A. Seazer and Shinkichi Mitsumune, the show has an instantly recognizable style, combining lush fairytale visuals and French-inspired architecture with a choir that functions as a sort of Greek chorus to the internal worlds externalized in combat. Utena is a story about many things, arguably all things, taking a surgical scalpel to adolescence and using the flat of the blade as a paintbrush, leaving a deeply human, visceral work of art in its wake. It has been massively influential on feminist, queer & sapphic, and otherwise gender-deconstructive or gender-subversive modern media. Smash the world's shell! For the revolution of the world!

Toonami: Enjoy the ride. Toonami is a television programming block and brand that originated on Cartoon Network in 1997. It's known for its distinctive focus on action-oriented animated series, primarily targeting older children, teenagers, and young adults; it introduced a generation of viewers to the decade’s most popular anime, namely Dragon Ball Z, Sailor Moon, Naruto and Gundam Wing when broadcasting during the weekday afternoons and evenings, and others like Ghost in the Shell or Full Metal Alchemist during its affiliation with Adult Swim. Hosted by a future-nostalgia fueled robot called TOM (Toonami Operations Module), the block created a unique viewing experience via its space-themed aesthetic and motivational or dry-humored interstitial segments. Toonami has since become a beloved part of animation-focused pop culture, and its impact on the promotion of anime and adult animated action series in the west is significant.

[koduflower2000]

"It's time to think outside the box 🤔🧐"

Hi! I'm Kevin, but you can also call me Kodu, if you prefer. I'm the actual guy from Twitter (X).

Pronouns: He/Him/They/Them (any of these is fine)

Age: 18 years

Nationality: Sri Lankan

Timezone: Indian Standard Time (IST) (GMT+5:30)

A straight guy who supports the LGBTQ+ community (more specifically, I'm a straight cisgender ally)

A silly child at heart

Open talker (yes, you can be friends with me if you want)

Draws art just by using a mouse.

Speed variation of me drawing is frequent (sometimes I draw faster, other times I draw slowly)

I'm currently learning Russian BTW. Я не знаю что я делаю. 😔

Also I'm learning Spanish, and a little bit of German and French for entertainment. I hope to learn Ukrainian, Arabic and Danish any time soon.

I do music (it's actually one of my favorite things to do)

I do programming sometimes (I haven't uploaded a single cool project in here at all, as I remember) (another one of my favorites to do)

I mostly don't swear, except when I feel intense emotions. (if you're comfortable with reading my posts with swear words, go ahead. I won't judge)

I reblog a lot, so if you really wanna see what I've been working on, here are some tags in which you can look around.

#koduflower2000 art - art by me

#koduflower2000 projects - will be a tag in which i present my art and music projects.

#koduflower2000 talks - mostly something i wanna say

#koduflower2000 answers - a tag in which i answer to tumblr asks in my ask box

Interests

BFDI:TPOT (Battle For Dream Island: The Power Of Two)

BFB (Battle for BFDI)

BFDI (Battle For Dream Island)

III (Inanimate Insanity Invitational)

AvA (Animation vs Animator) series

AvM (Animation vs Minecraft) series

Bluey series from ABC Australia

Chickn Nuggit (i'm sorry i didn't tell you earlier)

Minecraft

Saw and Gaty (totally okay with those ships actually)

Airy and Popcorn from HFJONE (totally okay with those ships as well)

Fanfictions (started writing one btw)

Rhythm Games

Gaming

Computers

Linux

Information and Communication Technology

Language and Culture Learning

Science

Technology

Sports

DNI list:

Basic (you already know it)

Ableists

Anti-semitic people

Racists

Homophobic people (basically homophobes)

Pedophiles (basically MAPs)

Sexists

Xenophobic people (including islamophobes)

Transphobic people (basically transphobes)

TERFs (Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminists, in other words, transphobic people who spread their gender opinions which are considered to be uncomfortable to trans people)

Advanced

Extreme NSFW accounts (a.k.a. the accounts with >=90% of the posts which are NSFW)

Pro-Israel people (I support Palestine, and no one can stop me)

People neutral with Palestine and the Palestinian people (Palestinian people are the best and they're considered innocent. Period.)

Zionists (If you try to interact with my account, I would like to fight you and block you.)

Proshippers

Comshippers

People who spread misinformation against me

People who go against my boundaries

Groomers (it's fine if you vent to me in DMs, but if you talk about uncomfortable sexual stuff in the end, you'll end up getting blocked) (sounds petty but i need my space)

Boundaries (not the actual boundaries but certain things that can give you an idea how i should be treated): - you can treat me as your friend or someone you don't know, but you CANNOT treat me as a slave - you cannot tell me which group of people I can only interact (except for groups which seem bad to me) (please teach me more about groups and fandoms that exist here) - do NOT insult me (constructive criticisms and pieces of advice are always welcome)

On thin ice

People who harass me or any of my moots.

People who think they're superior than everyone for no reason. (the only reason why i put it there is because i want people to talk with me instead of harassing me, because i already had a lot of traumatic experiences on twitter)

Blog Landmarks

tee hee moot rose! ^ ^

me too (a tribute to all my previous moots who have been disappeared from the internet)

kinda the reason why i don't interact in here as much as i wanna

elements of the intro are subject to changes which occur periodically

[gatheringbones]

[“In 1970, the President’s Commission on Obscenity and Pornography recommended the repeal of all laws prohibiting the distribution of sexually explicit materials to consenting adults. The floodgates opened as feminist articles and books started breaking down traditional notions of female sexuality that had been formulated by male researchers. The first article to inspire me to action was “The Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm” written by Anne Koedt. I was so impressed that I made an appointment to see her and get reprints of her article to pass out to all the women in my CR group.

In 1971, my art and sexual views appeared in an interview in Evergreen, an avant-garde magazine published by Grove Press. The article was accompanied by a large sampling of my sex drawings, along with positive statements about the importance of masturbation to women’s sexual liberation. That led to an editor from the recently formed Ms. magazine requesting an article from me on masturbation. When I submitted seventeen pages titled “Liberating Masturbation,” the editors feared my views would cause women to cancel their subscriptions. They said they might publish the article at a later date, when they felt the time was right. Infuriated to think feminists had censored me, I published several thousand copies and began distributing the information myself.

While many feminists struggled with my ideas about women’s sexual liberation, sex professionals were interested; Ed Brecher, a noted author and sex researcher, was extremely supportive. He agreed that most women could learn to have orgasms through masturbation, and then use that knowledge to become orgasmic with a partner. Wardell Pomeroy, who worked with Alfred Kinsey, and Albert Ellis, who has written hundreds of books on sex, also supported my views on the importance of female masturbation.

Alex Comfort was heartbroken when I didn’t do the line illustrations for The Joy of Sex. However, I did illustrate Helen Kaplan’s The New Sex Therapy. At the time, Dr. Kaplan headed the sex therapy program at the Payne Whitney Clinic of New York Hospital. Kaplan came to my studio the day I’d hired a photographer to shoot the sex positions we had discussed. While Grant and I took the poses naked, Helen directed us to do this and that. After showing her my favorite right-angle position, where I did my own clitoral simulation during intercourse, I gave an impassioned plea for her to include a drawing of it in her book. The drawing appeared, but a disclaimer went with it saying a woman stimulates herself to a point just prior to orgasm and stops. She then has her climax from his penis “thrusting vigorously,” thereby having a “coital orgasm.” Kaplan said a woman who needed clitoral stimulation all the way to orgasm during intercourse didn’t necessarily represent a treatment failure, but her bias was crystal clear.”]

betty dodson, from orgasms for two: the joy of partnersex, 2003

[oficmag]

Bookstore Recs!

Hi everyone! I (Amber, Managing Editor) recently spent some time in Chicago and stumbled upon some wonderful bookstores that I think our audience will love. If you are ever in Chicago, I definitely recommend checking them out in person, but you can also support these small businesses by ordering from their shops online!

Semicolon Bookstore & Gallery

This is a Black Woman-Owned bookstore and gallery (that is dog friendly!!!) and has an awesome collection that features books of all genres but especially highlights the voices of people of color. The shop space is chic and relaxing and the staff are all so warm, welcoming, and eager to rec their faves! You can purchase from their online store here. 

Unabridged Books

Chicago’s LGBTQ+ bookstore, Unabridged Bookstore is chock full of a vibrant and varied collection of books and art. The shelves are tagged with handwritten recs and reviews from staff denoting their favorite books, a personal touch that I loved to see! You can purchase from their online store here. 

Secret Agent Supply Co.

Nestled in a cute little storefront in Wicker Park, this unique shop is a nonprofit that supports and publishes (in print!) the work of 826CHI’s free writing programs for underserved Chicago students. This is a wonderful store with a terrific cause and I was so happy to find it! You can purchase from their online store here. 

Women & Children First Bookstore

This shop is the definition of a safe space. One of the largest feminist bookstores in the country, this store cultivates a diverse selection of literature (and cute merch!) with a major focus on queer voices. They also provide a list of books requested by people who are incarcerated within the Chicago area that you can purchase and have shipped to them! You can purchase from their online store here. 

[fernstream]

Join us on October 13th at 6:00 PM for a roundtable about Naiad Press!

As the home of Naiad Press, Inc. for twenty years, Tallahassee, Florida, was a hotbed of lesbian publishing. The LGBT Oral History Project of North Florida at Florida State University and the current exhibition at the FSU Museum of Fine Arts restores some of the storied histories of Naiad Press. Naiad’s work was part of a larger blossoming of lesbian-feminist publications—books, periodicals, broadsides, and more—around the United States. This publishing work brought lesbian-feminist voices to their communities and the broader U.S. reading public. Explore this exciting period in lesbian-feminist literary communities with a distinguished panel of participants in the movement and print culture scholars. Panelists Stephanie Andrea Allen, Cheryl Clarke, Katherine V. Forrest, Joan Nestle, and Barbara Smith, in a discussion moderated by Julie R. Enszer, will discuss the books, passions, and times that shaped the lesbian print movement. Register now at https://lesbianpublishingroundtable.eventbrite.com.

This event is sponsored by the Lesbian Herstory Archives and the Program in Women’s, Gender, and Sexuality Studies at Florida State University.

The exhibition "It's A Lot Like Falling in Love: Legacies of Naiad Press in the Tallahassee Lesbian Community" is currently on view at the FSU Museum of Fine Arts until October 29th, 2022. The oral history collection can be accessed at diginole.lib.fsu.edu. The PEN & Inc project site can be viewed at lgbtoralhistory.create.fsu.edu/naiadpress.

Register for free and learn more about the panelists here!

[brooxonianbek]

WEEK OCTOPEDIAN

{Mar 11th ~ 17th}

The illness that began last week has knocked me down in full force, and I’ve been bedridden for five days, which, suffice it to say, is not enjoyable in the slightest with no one to look after you at home. At the tail end of it, though, I was adopted by a new replacement mother — my pastor’s wife, dear Jo — and she had me for dinner and insisted I stay the night. It was a great relief, and I readily accepted the offer. I am immensely grateful for her appropriating me into her little brood, and for some much-needed feline attention.

I recovered enough life in time to attend a concert at the Oxford Town Hall on Friday — Vivaldi’s Four Seasons by candlelight. I didn’t know anything about the piece before going, but I have since been informed that it’s a piece of program music; that being music that tells a story through instrumental and musical symbols, as in Peter and the Wolf by Prokofiev. The Four Seasons, as you would assume, musically illustrates each season in a different concerto, with motifs representing characteristics of each one; birdsong, thunderstorms, tipsy revellers dancing in the streets, hunting dogs, rain, chattering teeth and cracking ice all identifiable in the piece. It was a spectacular performance — a string quartet surrounded by the flickering light of candles in the vast, darkened hall.

Saturday was another of our day trip excursions with legendary tour guide, Rob, to Salisbury and Bournemouth. Our omnibus carried us twice past the Big Ol’ Henge of Rocks, first thing in the morning. There were already tourists flocking around, with many more to come, I’m sure — so I really do think it was all we needed to see.

Salisbury itself seems a quaint little town, but all we had time to explore was the cathedral, which warranted a good hour and a half exploration of its own. As the tallest medieval spire in Europe, and the tallest building in the UK until the 1960s, it has an expansive interior, and the gothic pillars stretch upwards in a way that accentuates the height further. It had a fascinating combination of true medieval artistry and adapted 20th-and-21st-century features, as in the blue stained glass of the east window, and the crystalline font that so masterfully extends the depth of the building in its surface of liquid glass. I actually think the exterior of the cathedral is the most striking part, after all, though, and it may end up a subject of my painting at some stage.

Bournemouth was our next stop and, if I am perfectly honest, I didn’t particularly like it. Perhaps we were in the wrong area of town, but its only selling qualities were its churchyard, in which are buried the whole of the famous Shelley family — Percy Bysshe, poet; Mary Wollestonecraft, proto-feminist; and Mary Shelley, goth — and an art gallery that I was unable to visit this time around. They did also have an ocean, but lots of places have one of those.

Sunday, I went to a church lunch in the 18th-century country home of a family, most perfectly decorated around the exposed wooden structural with cozy, tasteful, artistic furnishing…I’d like a house like that.

[scoobydoofenshmirtz]

Sam Majors Poll Part 2-Wildcard edition

This is a follow-up poll to one I'm running about what you think Sam majored in at Stanford. The first part featured the most popular majors for pre-law students. This part features miscellaneous other majors. I only included majors offered at Stanford when Sam attended (so no business). Also for the sake of polls having limited options, I grouped certain majors in similar disciplines together marked with *. If you choose one of these options, please share if you have any more specific thoughts. Don't forget to reblog and lmk if you have any other headcanons for Sam majors! I've also put an explanation and further info for some of these majors under the cut in case anyone is unfamiliar with them.

Thank you @orphicnatural @castielsupernatural @wooobejeweled and @flyingfish1 for your suggestions!

More information about majors under the cut:

Definitions are taken from the current version of Stanford's website. Other info is from the 2002 Stanford website (when Sam would have started college.

Classics-Classics focuses on the literature and material culture of ancient Greece and Rome, including Greek and Latin language, literature, philosophy, history, art, and archaeology.

Linguistics-The mission of the undergraduate program in Linguistics is to provide students with basic knowledge in the principal areas of linguistics (phonetics, phonology, morphology, syntax, semantics, pragmatics, historical linguistics, and sociolinguistics) and the skills to do more advanced work in these subfields.

Archaelogy-Archaeology is the study of the past through its material remains that survive into the present. Archaeology is a discipline that offers direct access to the experiences of a wide range of people in numerous cultures across the globe. Increasingly, archaeology bridges past and present societies through the study of the human heritage and its role in contemporary societies.

Anthropology-Anthropology is devoted to the study of human beings and human societies as they exist across time and space.

International Relations-The undergraduate program in International Relations is an interdisciplinary undergraduate major allowing students to explore how global, regional and domestic factors influence relations between actors on the world stage.

Urban Studies-Combines academic approaches with real-world experience to understand cities, the influence of physical environment and how to address seemingly intractable social problems.

Feminist studies-Feminist Studies is an interdisciplinary undergraduate program investigating the significance of gender in all areas of human life. Feminist analysis is based on the assumption that gender is a crucial factor in the organization of our personal lives and our social institutions. It focuses on how gender differences and gender inequality are created and perpetuated. The courses offered by the program use feminist perspectives to expand and reevaluate the assumptions at work in traditional disciplines in the study of individuals, cultures, social institutions, policy, and other areas of scholarly inquiry. (taken from the 2002 website since the name has changed)

Arts majors available at Stanford when Sam attended:

Art (covers art history and studio art)

Drama (requires specialization in acting, directing, playwriting/dramaturgy, design, technical production/stage management, dance, or performance theory and cultural studies)

Music (covers theory, history, and instrumental or vocal performance)

Foreign languages available at Stanford when Sam attended:

Asian languages (requires both Chinese and Japanese)

French

Italian

German studies

Slavic Languages and Literatures (Russian language and literature or Russian language, culture, and history)

Spanish and Portuguese (covers both languages)

Other society and culture humanities majors available at Stanford when Sam attended:

African and Afro-American studies

American studies

Comparative studies in race and ethnicity (Asian American and Chicano/a studies both offered)

Latin American studies

East Asian studies

Native American Studies

Jewish studies

STEM Majors available at Stanford when Sam attended:

Geological and Environmental Sciences

Geophysics

Petroleum Engineering

Earth Systems

Chemical Engineering

Civil and Environmental Engineering

Computer Science

Electrical Engineering

Management Science and Engineering

Materials Science and Engineering

Mechanical Engineering

Product Design

Aeronautics and Astronautics

Computer Systems Engineering

Biological Sciences

Chemistry

Mathematics

Physics

Human biology

Science, technology, and society

[catchingbigfish]

wip intro: conversion

A memoir by a hypochondriac fashion designer tracing the unsettling events of her MFA program.

comps: Bunny by Mona Awad x The Things We Do to Our Friends by Heather Darwent x The Secret History by Donna Tartt

summary: Rosalyn arrived to Abbadon University for her fashion-making MFA sick with an unknown illness and a fresh diagnosis of hypochondria. Her professor, known for activism around a disputed diagnosis, holds sway over a group of acolytes all sick with the same illness. When Rosalyn found a way to fake the illness, she was welcomed into their company, but realized she may have been paying too high a cost for the friendship she's receiving in return. When a life-ruining secret is revealed, the whole group has to reckon with the aftermath.

themes/concepts: medical misogyny, illness as a social identity, feminist art and politics, autonomy and informed consent, women's friendships, cults/coercive control/the cult of one

tag: #wip: conversion