#ff sushi

[criminaldoenjangjjigae]

Sushi!! Constructive criticism is appreciated (:

[kafuthesilly]

GAGHh been doing lots of things lately so i didn't have time to draw

But heres this goofy thing for an AU I'm doing rn,,

[vanlegion]

I think at this point I have to pretty much regard season 19 as the truest form of 'Crack Taken Seriously' which. . . huwa, I could do (but damn it would be a struggle...)

But only if you believe in the narrative *NOT* shown.

There's an After for these guys. But I think that's kind of up to us? (. . . Yeah I'm already writing the AFTER fic. Fuck me.) So unless some miracle happens and either the IP gets bought up and the crew gets to do some little shorts like what the Crwby is doing ... Or Geoff and Gus ever pull off what Alexander Siddig and Andrew Robinson did for the Star Trek DS9 Bashir/Garak community. I guess we just make our own canon at this point.

[beritall]

Pov je bent de koe die is gestorven in de vreselijke bio industrie alleen maar om in mijn too good to go box te eindigen als rundercarpaccio met rucola sushi

[elaemae]

I'M LAUGHING-DYING RIGHT NOW HAJDHCHBDJSNSJBXJSKSBXJ—

• • • •

So I was explaining the skk ship to a friend of mine that hasn't touched any bsd material yet but is a fan of Dazai because of tiktoks, I told her how I find it funny that 30k+ stories out of the 70k+ bsd ffs in ao3 has the soukoku ship tagged in it.

Me: –It's so hilarious to think that their ship is so much more famous even though none of them are the main protagonists—

Her: Wait, Dazai isn't the protagonist?

Me: Kh– Wait wait wait did you think that Dazai was the main protagonist?!

Her: Yeah! Everytime I see bsd in tiktok, its always Dazai in there

I then had to go to the official wiki to prove that Dazai isn't the main protagonist even though at this point he might as well be.

Her: But if it's not those two then who's the protag then??

Me: Omfg– it's Atsushi! *Googles a picture to show her* This one!

Her: Ohhhh.... I thought this guy was a side-side character..

I just covered my face with my hands because the disrespect for poor sushi is so funny to me, not even just a side character but a side-side one😭

[notiddygxthgf]

1. Arrival in Tokyo

★ pairings: aki hayakawa x fem reader

★ ❝ Captain? Should I be calling you sir? ❞ ❝ Only if you want to. ❞

★ c.w.: aki being sexy a f (more content warnings and tags)

★ a/n: CHAPTER ONE IS UP AND RUNNINGGGGGG!! im so excited bc ive been sitting on this fanfic all fking summer like when i tell u i havent been able to focus on anything else. i have not known peace. ANYWAY im trying smth new w this story bc it was supposed to be a oneshot but uh... now its at 150 pages on google docs so erm... anyway! updates should flow quixker now that i have 90% of it written!! comment and let me know all of ur thoughts everywhere omg i love reading ur remarks bc u guys r so funny on my other ffs. ENJOY POOKIES! i love yall!!

★ w.c.; 4.3k

shameless ; chapter index

"SO YOU'RE LEAVING ME because the Tokyo division needs backup?" 

"I'm not leaving you," You sighed, though a playful lilt and a smirk followed your sarcastic remark. You and your husband were discussing work-related matters over a sushi dinner – your favorite. Perks of being married to your work partner. "I'm being summoned. I won't be long. Promise."

Your husband frowned, brows knitting together. His brown hair was tied back into a bun, baby hairs licking at his forehead, his cheeks. Tanimoto Yoshiro was a man of many virtues, but patience was not one of them. With a sigh, he began to toy with his salmon roll, prodding it with the end of his wooden chopsticks. "One whole week without that sexy ass of yours... What will I do?"

Your left eye twitched – slightly, hardly noticeable by the naked eye. You, for one, wouldn't miss the sex. It was, for lack of a better word... unfulfilling. It would get better over the years, you were sure of it. The two of you had only had the last few years to practice, after all. You wanted to wait until marriage (With him. You were no virgin by any stretch of the word.).

It was unfair of you to take your sexual frustrations out on him. It had been a tiring week for the both of you, is all. You barely had time for sit down meals like this anymore – whatever hanky-panky the two of you ever did indulge in these days was rushed, messy, and often... short lived.

Anyway, needless to say... You would be fine. It was you and your rabbit toy against the world, anyway.

"You'll be fine," You smiled. You loved him. He loved you. He was a great husband, and he took care of you. You had no reason to complain. "I'll be back before you know it." .

The Japanese countryside was a blur, rushing past the window of your train like pictures, like a movie. You hadn't noticed the train slow to a stop, in fact, until you heard the doors open. Popping your head up over the seat, you observed the train station. Which stop is this? People began filtering in from both sides, eager to find a seat before the train took off.

A shrill cry of your name roused you from your thoughts. 

You whipped your head around. A familiar-looking woman with black hair and an eyepatch was waving you down across the aisle. She was wearing a Public Safety suit and slacks. Himeno.

A smile crawled over your lips before you knew it. "Himeno?" You asked, a teasing lilt in your tone. "Is that you?"

Without asking if anyone else was sitting there, she took a seat in the one across from you. She leaned forward, perching her chin up on her hand. "Never thought I'd see you again. How the hell are 'ya?"

You and Himeno went way back. She had been in the same division as you back when the two of you were teens. She was the first person in Public Safety who had ever actually welcomed you to the division and the last person to say goodbye to you. You parted ways before ever being able to exchange information but, for what it was worth, she had made those gruesome, tedious missions more bearable. 

"I've been good!" You grinned. "I've been in the Kyoto sector with my partner. I truly did plan on coming back, but one thing led to another, and now..." You trailed off, waving your hands around like you were trying to find the right words. "Well, I'm married to him."

The train creaked and groaned before it began to move again. 

"So I've heard," Himeno licked her lips. She sat back in her chair, producing a carton of cigarettes – the kind she always used to smoke when the two of you were on missions together. "You mind if I smoke?"

No, but the conductor might. "Of course not," You answered. "How about you? How have you been?"

She sighed. "Been better, honestly. Devil activity's been crazy recently," Fishing a lighter out of her suit pocket, she sparked up. The end of her cigarette sizzled and smoked between her slim fingers. Holding it up to her lips, she muttered, "Just doing what I can to stay alive. What brings you back to the city?"

"My presence has been requested by the higher-ups," You shrugged. The scent of nicotine and smoke filled the cabin. It was gross but, frankly, familiar. "My husband wasn't too happy that he didn't get invited, so this better be worth it."

"I see," Himeno hummed, breathing out a puff of smoke to the side. She kept on looking out of the window after that, at the train station that was now far behind the train. "You're leaving your partner and I'm returning to mine."

"You're married?" You asked.

"God, no," She chuckled softly, pulling another hit from her cancer stick. "Wouldn't mind being with my assigned partner, though. He's a fine piece of ass."

It seemed like you couldn't help the way you burst into laughter at her crude remark. She hasn't changed one bit. "Is he cute?"

"Cute?" She repeated the word like it was a foreign object in her mouth. Her voice was muffled by the cloud of smoke that flowed out from between her lips. "He's drop-dead gorgeous," She took another slow, calculated hit. "Enough about me, though, how's the married life going for you?"

Could be better. You feigned a warm smile at the mention of your husband. "Good. Yeah, it's good."

Good was a bit of an overstatement. .

You and Himeno spent the rest of the train ride catching up. There was talk about marriage, sex, old coworkers, and new ones. It felt kind of good to be back – to be able to talk to someone who shared the same history as you. You would almost say that you missed it.

By the time the announced its next stop at the Tokyo station, you hadn't even realized how quickly the trip had gone by. You could thank your talkative companion for that. As the train finally eased to a stop, you turned to Himeno with a smile. 

"I need to grab my bags," you said, rising from your seat and straightening your clothes.

Himeno nodded, her smile warm but tinged with a hint of sadness. "Okay. Take care of yourself!"

Navigating the narrow aisle, you headed toward the luggage compartment. As you reached up to grab your suitcase, you collided with someone. Startled, you looked up to find yourself face-to-face with a man who immediately captured your attention. He was tall, easily over six feet, with broad shoulders and a powerful build that spoke of both strength and discipline. His dark hair was tied back in a neat topknot, accentuating his sharp, angular features. But it was his eyes that held you—their piercing blue depths seemed to look straight through you, filled with a seriousness that made you catch your breath.

"Sorry—" he began, his voice a deep, resonant baritone that vibrated through the narrow space.

For a moment, the world seemed to narrow down to just the two of you. The closeness of his body, the scent of his cologne—clean and subtly spiced, lingering just faintly on the collar of his suit jacket—the intense focus of his gaze; all of it created a bubble of tension that neither of you could ignore. You could see the flicker of surprise in his eyes, a momentary lapse in his serious demeanor, as if he too had been caught off guard.

Both of you paused. His gaze flickered down to your uniform for just a heartbeat before he quickly looked away, regaining his composure. Without another word, you continued in opposite directions, the silent exchange leaving you... well, a little breathless to say the least.

Stop it. You're a married woman. Surely, you would know how to control your impulses after being away from your husband for only a day.

Reaching up, you pulled your suitcase from the overhead compartment, the weight of it a familiar comfort. Setting it down on the ground with a soft thud, you turned back to your seat, only to find the handsome man still standing there, now engaged in conversation with Himeno. He was so tall that he had to actually lean over a little bit to fit into the cabin.

Fuck me. You thought. Wait, no, don't fuck me.

"Is this your partner, Himeno?" you asked, raising an eyebrow in curiosity.

"Yes, I found him!" Himeno responded with a wide grin. "Captain Hayakawa, this is an old friend of mine," she said, going on to introduce you by name.

"Hello," he greeted, extending his hand. The deep, velvety timbre of his voice sent a shiver down your spine.

"Captain? Should I be calling you 'sir'?" you teased lightly, shaking his hand – and his grip was firm and warm.

"Only if you want to," he replied, "Hayakawa is fine."

Only if you want to.

Get your fucking head out of the gutter.

Your heart skipped a beat as you found yourself momentarily lost in his gaze. His eyes were a captivating shade of blue, intense and unwavering. The handshake lingered a moment too long. You could feel the strength and warmth of his hand – it was far larger than yours, and had calluses at the tip of the palm.

Despite his serious demeanor, there was a flicker of something in his eyes, a hint of interest that he seemed determined to keep under control. Reluctantly, you pulled your hand away, feeling the lingering warmth of his touch. 

His gaze remained locked on yours for a moment longer, a silent acknowledgment of whatever the fuck had just happened.

Himeno cleared her throat, breaking the spell. "Well, let me give you a big hug, dearest."

You embraced her fondly, the familiarity of her touch grounding you. 

"Here, give me your number," Himeno said as she pulled back. She flipped her phone open. "Let's keep in touch."

With a smile, you told her your phone number. 

She snapped her phone shut after she had finished typing it in. "Okay! Hopefully, I'll get to see you around."

"Yes, of course! We'll be in touch," You agreed. You bowed your head to her, then to her partner. "Hayakawa."

He nodded back. You dismissed yourself after that, turning on your heel and practically scrambling to get out of that tiny train cabin. Still, you couldn't help but glance back at Captain Hayakawa. His eyes met yours again for a brief, fleeting moment before you turned away, heart racing with something you hadn't felt in a long time.

You didn't want to stick around and find out what it was. The weight of your wedding ring around your finger was a reminder of that much. .

You hadn't been in Public Safety's Tokyo headquarters in years. It was bigger than you remembered it being. The worst part? All the halls looked the exact same. It took you about thirty minutes to find the office in which you were currently standing.

A woman who you'd been dreading seeing the whole way over there was perched on a leather seat in front of you, arms folded over the desk, pink hair braided the same way it always had been, feline eyes flitting over your body. It made you feel small – like prey trapped in a predator's den.

"How was your trip over here?" Makima asked. Her voice was smooth, uniform – calculated, just like everything else she did. 

"It was pleasant," You answered. "I came as soon as I could."

"We appreciate that," Makima said, a hint of something sinister in her smile.

She stepped out from behind her desk, pacing slowly around the room. "I called you here because we've recently suffered a great deal of casualties," she explained, her tone measured and controlled. "I'm worried we won't have the manpower to deal with all the sudden appearances of gun-devil pieces."

"I understand. Am I being formally stationed?" you replied, trying to maintain your composure.

"Not that I know of, no," she responded, her eyes narrowing slightly. "For now, we need backup on a particular mission involving a school in the area. There have been reports of peculiar activity there, and I want to send one of my teams to investigate. I haven't decided whether you'll be in the field or here tying up some loose ends—we recently lost one of our best workers, and we're very far behind as a result. I'll have a certain answer for you within the next few days."

"A few... days?"

"Yes, is that a problem?"

"No, not at all, no. I just—" you sighed, feeling the weight of uncertainty. "Yeah, okay, that sounds good."

"You've also been booked a hotel suite nearby. Your stay will be provided at no cost to you," she continued, her tone unwavering. "I'll reach out to you as soon as I have more details. Hang tight until then."

With a tight-lipped smile, you nodded. "Thank you, Miss Makima. Am I dismissed?"

"Yes, I'll have one of our drivers take you to your room so you can drop off your luggage," she said, her smile not reaching her eyes. "Where did you leave it?"

"I left it in the break room," you said.

"Very well. I'll have someone collect it," she replied, her eyes closing briefly as she smiled. "Get home safely."

With that, you turned and left the office, the tension of the encounter still lingering in the back of your mind. There was just something about that damn lady that never failed to send a shiver up your spine. You sighed, glancing down at the old floorboards, at your shoes.

The reality of the situation began to sink in. 

You had traveled all this way, navigating the maze of identical halls and sterile rooms, only to be told you had to wait. The thought gnawed at you— That sounds about right from her, you mused. It was typical of Makima, always keeping you in the dark, always one step ahead, holding the reins tightly.

The cool, clinical atmosphere of the headquarters only heightened your sense of displacement. The fluorescent lights overhead cast a harsh, unforgiving glow, making everything look stark and unwelcoming.

Lost in your thoughts, you heard a series of footsteps echoing down the hall, followed by hushed voices. The sound grew closer, and you recognized the voice immediately—it was the young lieutenant captain again, the man you had bumped into earlier.

You glanced up, and there he was, standing just a few feet away. He was a striking figure, his presence suffocating – commanding and enigmatic. He had a sharp jaw, chiseled and defined, the kind that could cut paper. His eyes, a moody blue, held a penetrating gaze, one that seemed to see right through you, making you feel as though you were laid completely bare before him.

His brow was knit slightly in deep thought. There was a slight furrow at the bridge of his nose. The tufts of inky black hair that framed his features only added to the boyish charm of his face. 

As he spoke to the other Public Safety worker beside him, his hands moved with purposeful grace.

Your eyes were drawn to him despite yourself, unable to escape the force of his presence. 

His gaze caught yours briefly, and in that fleeting moment, you felt an almost tangible tension in the air. It was as if time had stopped for a heartbeat, the corridor seeming to stretch and contract around the two of you.

The connection between your eyes was like a magnet, pulling you in despite your efforts to look away. The faintest flutter in your chest was enough to have you gripping the collar of your shirt.

He blinked first, his eyes breaking away from yours as he turned back to his companion. The conversation resumed, but the air seemed thicker now, charged with the residual energy of your brief encounter. 

"We need to re-evaluate our strategies for dealing with the increased devil activity," he said, his words carefully chosen. "The losses have been significant, and our resources are stretched thin."

You turned and walked in the opposite direction, the soft hum of the fluorescent lights overhead seeming to amplify the distance you were putting between yourself and him.

As you moved down the corridor, you couldn't shake the feeling that his eyes were still on you, as if the weight of his gaze lingered even after you had turned away.  .

You had just stepped out of the shower, the steam still clinging to the room and curling around the bathroom mirror in hazy swirls. The cool, clean air of the hotel suite met you as you emerged, a refreshing contrast to the stifling atmosphere of the Public Safety headquarters.

You took a moment to let the chill of the air sink into your skin, feeling the pleasant coolness against your damp hair and freshly washed face. You dried yourself off, the soft towel enveloping you in its warmth, and slipped into a comfortable set of loungewear—simple, dark gray sweatpants and a loose-fitting, white t-shirt.

You walked over to the full-sized bed, the crisp white sheets and plush pillows arranged neatly. You flopped down onto it, letting out a relieved sigh as you sank into the softness of the mattress.

Reaching for your phone from the nightstand, you dialed your husband's number. As the call connected, you propped yourself up on one elbow and stared at the ceiling, trying to shake off the exhaustion of the day.

When he answered, his voice was calmingly familiar, cutting through the distance between you with a comforting ease. "Hey. How's everything going?"

"It's been a day," you said with a soft chuckle. "I finally got here, but of course, they've got me waiting for more details. Typical."

"Sounds about right," he said, his voice tinged with a longing that you could almost touch through the phone, "I miss you."

You closed your eyes for a moment, trying to push away the brief flash of memories that drifted through your mind—blue eyes and raven hair, a fleeting image that made your heart skip a beat. An image of soft lips wrapped around the syllables, 'Only if you want to.'

You shook your head gently, trying to dispel the image from your thoughts. "I miss you too," you said, trying to keep your tone light and steady.

You heard the faint sound of his smile through the phone, a soft, reassuring sound. You had never been so happy to hear his voice. "How's the hotel?"

"It's nice," you said, shifting your position on the bed to get more comfortable. "Pretty standard, but it's got a good view of the city."

"I can think of one view I'd really like to see right now," he teased gently. 

Just as you were about to reply, your phone started ringing again. You glanced at the screen and saw the name of your old coworker. 

"Hold on, I'm getting a call," you said, your fingers hovering over the screen. 

"Ugh, okay," he said. "Bye."

"Bye," you replied, a smile tugging at your lips as you ended the call.

You took a deep breath before picking up. "Hello?"

"Heya, Hot stuff. What you up to?" Himeno drawled into the receiver.

"Just got out the shower," You answered. "Why? Is something up?"

"Nah. Well, yeah," She giggled. "Miss Makima's taking us out for drinks to celebrate the success of our last mission tomorrow. She rented out this whole space for us. You coming?"

You chuckled quietly, carding a hand through your damp hair. "I always feel dull at parties."

"You? Dull?" Came Himeno's retort. "This really the same person who used to take body shots off complete strangers back in the day?"

The mere mention of your past self had you laughing all over again. "Times change."

"Married life made you soft?" 

You winced. Sure, perhaps a somewhat-boring life in the countryside with your husband had made you a little soft. But there was something in the way she said it – something that made you tick. You were happy being a married woman. You had been happy since the two of you had eloped at 21.

You were happy, dammit. You just wished it was a little easier to convince yourself of that.

"I don't know..." You trailed off. "I won't be any fun."

"Noooooo... You have to come!" Himeno groaned. You could hear her pacing around in the background. "DENJI!" She called to god knows who. "Back me up here!"

The phone was handed over to someone else – a young-sounding boy. "I'm not gonna force someone to go to a stupid party."

"Tell her to come!" Could be heard very faintly in the background.

"Wait. She's a 'she'?"

"Not just any 'she', thats–"

"You should definitely come tonight," The boy decided. "Name's Denji, by the way."

"Hi, Denji," You sighed. "Could you hand the phone back to Himeno for just a moment?"

"Sure," He answered. "Bye, gorgeous. See you there."

Gorgeous. He hasn't even seen me and he's calling me gorgeous. You had to have been in the twilight zone.

"So, you're coming, right?" Himeno's voice chirped over the line.

"I don't know," You answered (again). "Who's going?"

"Aki's coming. Remember him? Partner? Total hottie?" She replied. 

Total hottie was an understatement. Again, the image of his pretty face flashed through your mind. You squashed the mere thought of it – like an incessant bug. "Yes, we met."

"I'm gonna get a smooch out of him by the end of the night," She giggled. "You can bet on that."

People came and went. Seasons changed. Himeno, however, did not. She was just as crude as you had always remembered her being.

"Just a kiss?" You teased.

"Maybe. Maybe more," She teased right back. "Can you believe he doesn't have a girlfriend? He's 20! That's gotta mean something."

He's five years younger than me... You picked mindlessly at your nails. "Something like...?"

"Dunno. Am I wrong for thinking he's holding out for me?" 

"Oh, to be young and naive again," You sighed. "I was engaged at his age," You trailed off, words hanging in the air for a moment after they had slipped past your lips.

Awkward. Did that slip out?

You leaned back against the headboard, feeling the cool pillows against your back while your mind drifted to the past. You had been so young when you'd gotten married, looking back. You loved him, you truly did. Sure, you had your issues, but didn't every married couple?

The two of you were happy. Still, a pang of jealousy surfaced when you heard Himeno speak so freely about her independence, her sexual prowess. In a way, you felt as though you had been deprived of that freedom far too early.

Your fingers traced the edge of your phone, your gaze drifting as memories flooded your mind. Himeno's laughter on the other end of the line seemed distant, a reminder of a simpler time, unburdened by the weight of responsibilities and commitments.

You were happy... weren't you?

"Hey, you still there?" Himeno's voice pulled you back to the present, her tone tinged with concern.

"Yeah, sorry," you replied, shaking off the melancholy that had crept into your thoughts. "Just got lost in my head for a moment."

"Don't we all," she sighed, her voice softening. "Look, just come down tomorrow. It'll be fun. We can catch up, have a few drinks, and maybe you can even be my wingman for the night."

You chuckled, the sound more genuine this time. "Alright, fine. I'll come. But no promises about playing matchmaker."

"Yay! It's at five," Himeno's excitement was palpable, and it was contagious. "I'll see you then. Hopefully, you can loosen up a little bit. Relive the good days."

"Yeah, maybe," you said, a small, half-assed smile playing on your lips. "See you then."

You ended the call and set your phone to the side. 

Loosen up a little, You thought. Yeah, you could definitely stand to do that.

a/n: shortie but a goodie! i already have most of the story written (so this one doesnt wind up like my 25,000 other unfinished projects), and this was the only way i could think to cut this chapter off hehe. ANYWAYYYY i hope yall enjoyed and are prepared for the TENSION AND SPICEEEE. omg its so tasty i cant wait. stay tuned! its gonna be so amazing. please comment and whatever to let me know your thoughts, wants and desires for this story! or just smth fun. i love reading yalls comments hehe comments + reblogs are greatly appreciated!!

credits: UNKOWN ATM. I found it on pinterest unfortch. If you know the artist, please let me know, so I can credit them properly for their work!!! This is NOT MY BEAUTIFUL DRAWINGGG. I obviously do not own csm or anything related to it. please do not reproduce, copy, or translate my works anywhere. dont fk w me im a bruja.

also: come find me on my wattpad if u wanna interact more!

taglist: @mitsuyeahhh , @sleepysnk , @enneadec , @noaabean , @em1e , @drakensdarling , @bertholdts--butt , @satanlovesusall666 , @mitsuwuyaa , @noctifule , @scaraphobia , @ask-the-insect-hashira , @lovingranchturkeyweasel , @bontensbabygirl , @slvdsjjk , @novacrystalli , @hanmastattoos , @kodzuksn , @hqtiny , @ohmaiscool15 , @redlittlequeen , @leivane , @goldeneagles-posts , @yeahblahlame , @no-oneelsebutnsu , @cookiesandcreammy , @cawwn , @the-haitani-baton , @littlelovebug98 , @armani78 , @mindurownbussines , @kokos-property , @violetmatcha , @hp-simp505 , @acethebrave , @mitsuyeahhh , @sleepysnk , @enneadec , @noaabean , @em1e , @drakensdarling , @bertholdts--butt , @satanlovesusall666 , @mitsuwuyaa , @noctifule , @scaraphobia , @ask-the-insect-hashira , @lovingranchturkeyweasel , @bontensbabygirl , @slvdsjjk , @novacrystalli , @hanmastattoos , @kodzuksn , @hqtiny , @ohmaiscool15 , @redlittlequeen , @leivane , @goldeneagles-posts , @yeahblahlame , @no-oneelsebutnsu , @cookiesandcreammy , @cawwn , @the-haitani-baton , @littlelovebug98 , @armani78 , @mindurownbussines , @kokos-property , @violetmatcha , @hp-simp505

wanna join the taglist? | shameless ; chapter index

[thatdeadaquarius]

creator reading a stone table barely able to hold back laughter: You, me, gas station. What are we gettin for dinner? Sushi of course! Uh oh, there was a roofie inside our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish, horny fish, you know what that means, fish or-

Acolytes:

STOP. GET OUT. PUT YOUR YOUR PHONE ON THE TABLE BEFORE YOU LEAVEEEE /j

PLEASESEEE

YOU ALREADY KNOW PEOPLE ARE JUST WATCHING ON IN HORROR AS U FUCKING CONTINUE THAT,

NO STOP SOME SCHOLARS THINK ITS A FUCKED UP FAIRYTALE LIKE THE ORIGINAL GRIMM BROTHER FAIRYTALES LMAO

UNHINGED ANONS FFS

☆

Safe Travels You Crazy Anon,

💀♒️

(No beloved tags bc this feels too short for that! Sorry if u wanted to see this crack my beloveds lmao )

[faretheeoscar]

(143)

Pairing: Nathan Bateman x gn!reader

--Warnings: Nothing more than Nathan being a pain in the ass and some sexual innuendos, fluff by Nathan standards--

Also this drabble is so very nerdish from my part, it started as a blurb in my head when I started learning coding lol

A/N: English is not my first language so I'm sorry if there’s any mistakes.

Word count: 600~

Dividers source: animatedglittergraphics-n-more

Blue is reader

Green is Nathan

#include <iostream>

int main() {

    std::cout << "// You work so fucking hard. Lunch?"

    std::cout << "// Nathan, seriously? You hacked into my work just to ask me out?"

    std::cout << "// Not hacking if it's my own software"

    std::cout << "// Whatever, I’m busy" << std::endl;

changeText.addEventListener("click", function() {

  changeText.textContent = "Text has been changed!";

});

    std::cout << "// Come on!"

changeText.addEventListener("click", function() {

 override

changeText.addEventListener("click", function() {

  changeText.textContent = "Text has been changed!";

});

    std::cout << "// Nathan, STOP disrupting my work, please?"

    std::cout << "// I will stop if you have lunch with me"

    std::cout << "// Not gonna even entertain you, I have a lot of things to work on and I have to finish them quickly"

    std::cout << "// You need to stop being so stubborn btw... you’re too tense... you’re gonna have an aneurysm or something if you don’t take a break...and have lunch with me?"

    std::cout << "// NO, let-me-work!!" << std::endl;

    std::cout << "C:\\Users\\Bluebook\\Documents> del \"code_file.txt\"" << std::endl;

    std::cout << "Are you sure (Y/N)?" << std::endl;

    std::cout << "Y:" << std::endl;

    std::cout << "C:\\Users\\Bluebook\\Documents> del \"code_file.txt\" Successfully deleted"

    std::cout << "// DID YOU SERIOUSLY DELETED ALL MY WORK OUT OF SPITE?"

    std::cout << "// Not spite, you needed a break. Now you have one."

    std::cout << "// Unbelievable"

    std::cout << "// Now, lunch?"

    std::cout << "// No, fuck you"

    std::cout << "// Tempting..."

    std::cout << "// ..."

    std::cout << "// 0——->"

.

.

.

   std::cout << "// That was a dick btw"

    std::cout << "// I’m actually quitting now for real…"

    std::cout << "// Like hell you are…"

    std::cout << "// Come on, don't be so sensitive, Jesus Christ" ;

    std::cout << "// You just deleted all my week’s worth job .l. "

    std::cout << "// Stop moping about it, I have a backup"

    std::cout << "// Then restore it" << std::endl;

    std::cout << "// Not until you have lunch with me."

    std::cout << "// I'm calling the chopper and packing my things…"

    std::cout << "// WAIT, fine! I’ll reinstate the code… you big baby."

    std::cout << "// I was just joking, ffs" << std::endl;

 

   std::cout << "C:\\Windows\\System32\\Bluebook\\Documents> rstrui.exe" << std::endl;

    std::cout << "Files successfully restored"

    std::cout << "// Happy now?"

    std::cout << "// Asshole."

    std::cout << "// Is that an invite or a statement?"

    std::cout << "// Take a wild guess."

    std::cout << "// Worth the try…"

    std::cout << "// Now, are we done with your temper tantrum? Can we eat now?"

    std::cout << "// I can’t stand you..."

    std::cout << "// So is that code for Italian or sushi?"

    std::cout << "// Sushi..."

    std::cout << "// I'll tell the droids to start preparing it then"

    std::cout << "// Okay, I’ll be down in 5 minutes just don't fuck with my work again?"

    std::cout << "// I promise, but only if you let me fuck with something else later ;)"

    std::cout << "// Fine…"

    std::cout << "// Can you indulge me in something else?"

    std::cout << "// You’re really testing me here"

    std::cout << "// For science?"

    std::cout << "// Be the sushi table?"

    std::cout << "// I’ll go get undressed…"

    std::cout << "// Fuck yeah! (143) <3 ."

    std::cout << "// I love you too" << std::endl;

    std::cout << "C:\\Windows\\System32\\Bluebook\\Documents> Save" << std::endl;

    return 0;

}

143 in coding means “I love you” btw <3

Reblogs and comments are kindly appreciated!

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[t4t4t]

God how suicidal Collie is is so exhausting and stressful. She seems more resentful of me the more suicidal she is and unpredictably silly sweet and kind sometimes. I've been trying to be sweet the past few weeks more and it's barely done anything. Idk. Maybe some. I love her so much. I wish I knew how to comfort her. She's so overwhelmed by even basic self care.

She's usually so upset in the mornings. She's so misanthropic. I feel so alone. She keeps saying capitalism makes life not worth living, her body isn't worth living in, there's no worth talking to or making friends with. But then sometimes later she'll make posts and message people, but it seems like she's teasing the world and more wants the attention and compliments than pursuing anything. But that's probably depression and demotivation than arrogance.

"Everyone leave me the fuck alone forever. Disappear."

We're both so lost and alone still.

I can't believe I got bottom surgery at all and I'm worried we won't have rent for next month. She has a surgery date herself 11/13. I have FFS 1/28. If we make it I guess.

She's telling me I need to tell all my friends to kill themselves because it's nothing to me, they're nothing to me, first thing that annoys me, I'll say it she says. I've maybe said it once or twice in the past 6 months, idk everything has been so stressful and confusing and awful. I hate myself. I've been wanting to say it less, say even fuck you less and less. It makes me so sad to be angry

She calls me Ms Kill Yourself, apparently I'm so good at it. She thinks I'm talking to someone rn typing this. She's saying I need to call them worthless. I wish I could grow instead of wallowing in suffering. She says I need to tell all the people I talk to (because I have no friends), "kill yourself, worthless."

I feel like I've made more genuine friends here recently in the past few months than ever being here. I'm supposed to go to some sort of gathering with a few tmrw, someone is making a bunch of vegan food for it for me. I feel so lucky and unlucky rn. I hope she doesn't make it awkward or sad but she probably will.

"You are dead to me. Nothing ever again. I don't want to see you ever again."

I woke up early to go to a food bank and she's saying she won't do shit for me.

So many tears. I wish I knew what to do.

I'll always love her and I'll always hate myself I guess. I love her guitar playing. I wish I had gotten my own guitar ever and she ever taught me anything.

"I'm so happy there's nothing on the other side. Nothing, forever, never been anything more exciting."

"There is nothing to live for." -- I'm confused why she says this. There's so many reasons to live, reasons to die makes more sense. Idk

"Everyone of you are failures. Worthless. Embarrassed to be the same species. What a low thing to be, alive. A higher point would be dead. Would rather be dead, would rather be ashes. I have a kink now, nothing brings me joy like the thought of not being alive. Nothing else will make me happy. I give up."

The friend made a rly good vegan sushi for their birthday party two weeks ago, I'm looking forward to having it again. Idk. I like eating more than she does, she has ARFID for sure.

[rainyfestivalsweets]

5/29/24

Latest low weigh in: 188.6

Today's 193 (due to my now chronic edible usage) (dumb, I know).

Recent win: Clothes shopping

I went out yesterday and happily discovered I am now a size 12.

I got all sorts of shorts & stuff, as I am preparing to clear out my closet yet again.

A win was only buying 1 chocolate at natural grocers. I used to buy several "healthy" snacks or chocolates but would inevitably eat them all on the way home or within moments of getting home. This time, splurged on a san pelligrino & 1 sea salt truffle.

That's a win.

Recent non win:

Food noise continues.

I still feel unlovable. Bahahahaa joke's on me, that is probably never going to go away. Makes me feel like ai will never ever be thin enough. Why? What am I trying to prove?

There were meals out this weekend. A failed Saturday date after kayaking, where the food took so long, and the order did finally come out but it came out wrong. All that shit came home with me. I had enough strength to throw most of it out tho.

There was a birthday lunch at a sushi/Ramen place. My partner kept bugging me to take the last spring roll... I did take it, but I shouldn't have. I didn't want it. Didn't order it. 😕

I don't feel like i went nuts, but I do feel like I am constantly snacking stupidly when I CBD & chill.

Cool whip. Again. Ugg. Another whole tub.

The rest of mom's ice cream, and a container of her birthday pie and ice cream! Wtf! Why? Eat your own shit asshole!

Pics from yesterday... the end of the night first.

The ice cream was unnecessary. Ffs. That was mom's dude. Fucking incessant binge eater.

I am listening to book 2 of the Dresden files, in an attempt to distract myself from everything.

[killer-orca-cosplay]

To: STCOM Sealth Puget From: COMGEN Melissa Hazen Sealth, trothkin, the Skobel engineers have finally finished the fitting out of your machine. The upgrades are... substantial. Look them over. And then, if you would, join me and some others for a night out, quiaff? I wish to get to know you better. We will be fighting alongside each other, after all.

BattleMech Technical Readout Name/Model: Orca 'Sealth' OC-1Xb Designer: Frogblast Source(s): Custom Mordel.Net Units Technology: Inner Sphere (Mixed) Technology Rating: F Tonnage: 200 Role: Sniper Configuration: Superheavy Biped BattleMech Era/Year: Dark Age / 3150 Rules (Current): Experimental (Extinct) Rules (Era): Experimental Rules (Year): Experimental (Extinct) Total Cost: 107,450,500 C-Bills Battle Value: 4,435 Chassis: Skobel Endo-Composite Endo-Composite Power Plant: Skobel SH-4K 400 XL Walking Speed: 21.6 kph Maximum Speed: 32.4 kph Jump Jets: None Jump Capacity: None Armor: Skobel SH-FF Plate Ferro-Fibrous with CASE II Armament: 2 ExoStar Balefire (Clantech) ER PPCs (C) 1 Rheinmetall PzH 3050 Long Tom Artillery Cannon (C) 1 Baal Defense Hellstorm 40CX LRM 20 w/ Artemis V FCS (C) 1 ExoStar Pinnacle (Clantech) ER Large Laser (C) 1 Krupp Sturmfeuer Light Gauss Rifle 1 Baal Defense Quad-Aught 6400 SRM 6 w/ Artemis V FCS (C) 1 Baal Defense Inferno Shield 2000CX Laser Anti-Missile System (C) 1 Baal Defense Silverfang 120X Small X-Pulse Laser Manufacturer: Skobel MechWorks Primary Factory: Yakima Proving Grounds, Terra Communications: GarbleTalker X with Nova CEWS Targeting & Tracking: Nokia 33100 with Advanced Targeting Computer ================================================================================================ Equipment Mass Internal Structure: Endo-Composite (C) 30.00 Engine: 400 XL (C) 26.50 Walking MP: 2 Running MP: 3 Jumping MP: 0 Heat Sinks (Double): 20 40 10.00 Gyro: Superheavy 8.00 Cockpit: Superheavy 4.00 Armor Factor: 600 31.50 Type: Ferro-Fibrous (C) Internal Armor Structure Value Head: 4 12 Center Torso: 60 96 Center Torso (rear): 24 R/L Torso: 42 68 R/L Torso (rear): 16 R/L Arm: 33 66 R/L Leg: 42 84 ================================================================================================ Weapons and Ammo Location Critical Tonnage Nova CEWS (C) H 1 1.50 SRM 6 w/ Artemis V FCS (C) CT 1 1.50 Small X-Pulse Laser CT 1 1.00 Targeting Computer (C) CT 6 6.00 CASE II (C) RT 1 0.50 Communications Equipment (4 tons) (C) RT 2 4.00 ER PPC w/ Capacitor (C) RT 2 7.00 Laser Anti-Missile System (C) RT 1 1.00 Long Tom Artillery Cannon (Ammo 30) (C) RT 3 6.00 CASE II (C) LT 1 0.50 ER PPC w/ Capacitor (C) LT 2 7.00 LRM 20 w/ Artemis V FCS (C) LT 2 5.00 LRM 20 (Ammo 18) (C) LT 2 3.00 Light Gauss Rifle (Ammo 32) LT 1 2.00 SRM 6 (Ammo 30) Artemis V LT 1 2.00 Long Tom Artillery Cannon (C) RA 8 20.00 CASE II (C) LA 1 0.50 ER Large Laser w/ Insulator (C) LA 2 4.50 Light Gauss Rifle LA 3 12.00 Note: Equipped with RISC Heat Sink Override Kit ================================================================================================ Alpha Strike Statistics Point Value (PV): 94 TP: BM, SZ: 4, TMM: 0, MV: 4" Damage: (S) 4 / (M) 4 / (L) 3, OV: 4 Armor (A): 20, Structure (S): 10 Specials: AMS, ARTLTC-1, CASEII, ECM, IF1, LG, MHQ5, NOVA, OVL, PRB, RCN The OC-1Xb Orca 'Sealth' is subject to the following Design Quirks: Accurate Weapon (Long Tom Cannon) Combat Computer Distracting Fast Reload (Long Tom Cannon) Improved Cooling Jacket (ER Large Laser) Improved Communications Improved Sensors Improved Targeting (Long) Multi-Trac

A Long Tom attached to a Battlemech? Most intriguing...I do believe Tolkitai will get much use out of that.

It also pleases me to see the all important small laser for close-in support. If there is one thing I have learned, it is never to underestimate what one single laser in the right place can do. This steed will serve us well. My thanks. ...in truth I would not say no to a meal. I have been having the oddest craving for salmon sushi recently.

[ellsieee]

ARGH. The food waste! Why are all the barely touched drinks left behind? WHO DOES THAT? The boys could have easily taken them all with them ffs.

He wouldn't be hungry if he had eaten the goddamn cake still sitting there! 🤬

The worst culprit of food waste that draws my ire are scenes where characters eat lunch/dinner together, but don't touch their food, and then get up to leave because they're full. WTF. They didn't eat anything!! How are they full???

Not exactly the same, but how are two young guys full after eating a couple pieces of sushi and half of whatever the middle dish is? But anyway, I still appreciate the technique they used where they cut away from the eating scene, removed some food from the plates, and then resumed the scene to indicate time had passed and food had been eaten, without the actors having to actually eat. It's a lot more natural and believable this way.

[taldigi]

It is nice to discuss things! As for Mona's disappearance needing more days, I think it's less of needing more days and more them not utilizing the days they have effectively. Like, for whatever reason they didn't do what they did with Makoto's intro with Haru. That is, having a bunch of scenes WITHOUT the protagonist showing what's going on with her and slowly establishing what her arc is about and how she's gonna become a thief. You get so many scenes with Makoto before she even begins to blackmail the thieves, which helps immensely with her introduction. But they just don't do that with Haru. Shove in a few extra scenes in the days Mona is going featuring Mona and Haru at her house chatting and you've fixed like half of the problem. It establishes Haru's character, further explains Mona's thought process and how he's feeling, and can help set up her arc if you throw in her fiancee or father for a scene. Then all you need to do is make the whole making up scene longer, with more characters apologizing and talking about their feelings before moving on. It's not that they don't have the time, it's that it's not being utilized, despite them clearly knowing how to.

Right, you're very right. These late-stage characters ABSOLUTELY needed to be interlaced in the story MORE before they were introduced.

Perhaps Mishima and Haru could have had some scenes together. Maybe the thieves are shooed off the roof because Haru wants to use it for her flowers. It would have been a good way to introduce her tarot and give the school a reason to visit during summer break. They are able to halt several character's tarot progressions for story reasons, no reason Haru couldn't have been the same.

So wild how you are trying to keep it cool and Makoto just comes up and says YOU... WE ARE THE PHANTOM THIEVES. SPEAK.

I know you get some scenes when you work in the convenience store, but maybe scenes with haru at the flower shop too? Maybe she's there. Duo scenes with Ann since she's in the mall too (Her! She's so familiar..!)

Tho I am still particularly hung up on the idea that Mona's missing should have been longer to really set it in. Heck, even tho they hijacked an entire week for the beach prep, they still gave you evenings (which is why I was confused.) Even if they still limited you to Yongen-Jaya like they did in early game (I should stay in Yongen-Jaya in case Morgana comes back....) doing tasks without Mona and Ren lamenting his absence (much like he does in his room) would have emphasized how much Mona mattered. (Followed by Ren and Futaba going out in the evenings to look for Mona, inverse on how the beach took up your mornings/daytimes)

I think it would have been a great way to progress Futaba too. She's never shown to stop being a shithead, and her realizing that she's part of the problem (and she can't just blame Ryuji).. I need a scene where Futaba foregoes buying a game to buy Morgana the sushi she ate.

Man, I'm leanin' into fanfic territory. But bestie you're so right. The whole set of scenes feels bloated and underbaked and it absolutely destroys several characters BECAUSE it's so pressurized together. Game has a whole-ass summer break to let things simmer but they hardly use it. (ffs you're locked out of school faculties iirc)

[tifacaelum]

Why I ship Noctifa

*Under construction post 🦋

The ship between Noctis & Tifa exists not only because of their matching aesthetics. Thatʼs just one superficial reason. Both characters share a lot of deep & profound similarities.

Lets start from the beggining:

Their Backstory

Both lost their mothers. Their widowed dads, Regis & Brian, had to take care of them. However, they could not completely take care of their kidsʼ education on their own, so they needed help of others (governesses in Noctisʼ case & Nibelheimʼs women in Tifaʼs case).

Normally in FF games the characters either have no parents or their situation with them is of an ill-fated nature. Noctis & Tifa contrast & differ from this, being practically the only characters with a good & loving relationship with their dads.

Scenes from Brotherhood & Last Order.

At the same age of eight, Noctis & Tifa suffered near death experiences. Noctis was attacked by a Marilith while Tifa fell from the Mt. Nibel bridge. As a consequence, both fell into a coma.

(I wish there were concrete images of this Tifa event)

At a very young age, both were trained in the art of combat by Gladio & Zangan. Because of this early training, both are considered excellent fighters.

Both have pets that appear in both their childhood & adulthood (Carbuncle & Fluffy).

Noctis & Tifa knew the lack of friends & loneliness during their childhood.

Likewise, at some point both were seen as just a title or a trophy by others, something they deeply disliked.

At the same age of 15, the two were independent teenagers. They lived alone in their own apartments & had a job in the hostelry industry. Noctis as a waiter in a sushi restaurant and Tifa managing the Seventh Heaven. 

They both had to quickly grow up & earn a living on their own.

Both of them have painful scars. Noctis on his back from the Marilithʼs attack & Tifa on her chest from Sephirothʼs attack.

It is noteworthy that Noctisʼ scar affects him on a physical level while Tifaʼs affects her in a more psychological way. I love these little differences between them.

Both suffered the same losses & in the same way.

In a single night Insomnia & Nibelheim were destroyed and consumed by fire.

Regis & Brian were murdered in cold blood by people they had trusted, Drautos & Sephiroth.

Here I reemphasize how Noctis & Tifa felt the same way about their dadsʼ actions. Noctifaʼs psychology is gorgeous & intertwines beautifully. But weʼll leave that section for another thread.

The two travel with their group of friends to stop the forces of evil. Noctis fights against Niflheim & Ardyn. Tifa against Shinra & Sephiroth.

The most important events of Noctisʼ upbringing mirror those of Tifaʼs. I believe they would understand each other deeply due to these shared bonds & that they could easily heal each otherʼs traumas 💙❤️

[bitterarcs]

Meet the Mun.

ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘɪᴄᴋ ᴜᴘ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴜʀʀᴇɴᴛ ᴍᴜꜱᴇ(ꜱ) ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ?

Lort, I have soooo many muses across many blogs; it's vile. I will only comment on Reno since, y'know, I'm filling this out for bitterarcs. In general, I have loved FF7 for a long ass time, and it might have been the second verse I ever wrote in. I like Reno because he reminds me a lot of myself while still being completely different from me. I get to tap into comedy, my macabre interest in violent/dark themes, and I get to really challenge myself to think not like me. Reno is an excellent mixed bag of a lot of compelling elements which prevents me from getting bored writing him . . unlike other muses I have. I was very happy that were was some FF community on tumblr, so naturally I had to pick my favourite character from FF7. Also there weren't many other Renos around, so I was like LET'S DO IT.

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ?

College things ( which certainly does not apply to FF ), anything normal ( like small town librarian in a nothing less plot ), prolonged fight scenes, and casual, happy-go-lucky plots. Sometimes I am in the mood for something lighter, but I usually get over that within the hour. I think happy things are boring for the longevity of a plot. Also smut for the sake of smut when it adds nothing to the plot.

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ?

Violence, gore, high fantasy, supernatural/biblical, historical ( ancient Greece / Rome, pirates, 1860s America ), morality, psychological, fantasy, world building, sad shit, character deaths.

ʜᴏᴡ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ?

I either dream of something, get inspired by talking to another writer, random thoughts throughout the day, my own life, just knowing that character for so long.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ ɪɴ ꜱɪʟᴇɴᴄᴇ ᴏʀ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀʏ ᴍᴜꜱɪᴄ?

Usually I have to have something playing, mostly a show or twitch stream I'm not paying attention to in the background. If it's a long reply/starter or a serious one, then it's all silent.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇᴘʟɪᴇꜱ ᴏʀ ᴡɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇᴍ?

For shorter things, I wing it. I plan long replies and starters; I definitely plan long threads with goals of major events and a possible conclusion.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ꜱʜɪᴘᴘɪɴɢ?

Not really. Not by tumblr terms anyway. I was used to writing on a site where people only shipped with one other character . . I guess you'd call that exclusive. I do enjoy that on levels I won't get into. Here I feel like people just want to fuck for the sake of it on here. You do you; it's not my thing. I suppose what I described is an intimate ship, and people also describe shipping as more than something romantic/sexual. Depending on muse, I'm game for other relationship dynamics especially those that involve tension or hurt or strong feelings of loyalty.

ᴡʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀʟɪᴀꜱ/ɴᴀᴍᴇ?

Call me whatever the fuck you want honestly.

ᴀɢᴇ?

Bleh.

ʙɪʀᴛʜᴅᴀʏ?

Spoopy month.

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ᴄᴏʟᴏʀ(ꜱ)?

Black, green. Black is not a colour blah blah.

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴏɴɢ(ꜱ)?

Most of the stuff by Crosses.

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴍᴏᴠɪᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ?

Overboard 1987.

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱʜᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ?

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱᴏɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪꜱᴛᴇɴᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ?

Actions & Motives by 10 Years.

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜰᴏᴏᴅ?

Sushi, sashimi.

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ?

Summer or spring because I hate the fucking cold.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ ʙᴇꜱᴛ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ?

Errrrr. I have a handful of writing partners across several blogs who are my favourite to talk with, and I will readily talk to them on discord — send them memes and discuss character/fandom things.

loved on by: @slumberingchaos thanks, bud!

bird up: @stingslikeabee / @ivory-paragon / @lastflowerpetal / @mezzomorendo / @shinrasfirst / @riotseas / @exturk / @shinraffairs

[arwenkenobi48]

My thoughts after seeing Ramayana: The Legend of Prince Rama

Rama and Lakshman are the best brothers ever (also Rama literally killed multiple demons with divine weapons as a teenager and that’s honestly more than I accomplished at 15)

Sita has Disney Princess powers

“I will cleave your filthy brain in two!” is not a line I expected to hear from a PG rated movie

Bharata is underrated

Surpanakha needs therapy (and a nose job)

Why is Maricha kinda- 😏

Ravana seriously needs to keep it in his pants (I was mentally shaking his shoulders and yelling “when will you learn that your actions have consequences!?” at him the entire time)

Rama furiously declaring he’ll hunt Ravana to the ends of the universe and then Lakshman just casually telling him to calm down was way funnier than it had any right to be

RIP Jatayu

The sentient mountain turning out to be a demigod literally felt like an NPC side quest in a fantasy RPG

Hanuman is the GOAT

I love how Jambavan just randomly drops the bombshell on Hanuman that he has divine powers, also his voice is weirdly amusing

Hanuman gets swallowed by a sea serpent, then promptly chops the thing up into sushi

Ravana’s giving off vaguely yandere vibes and I’m all here for it

Hanuman introducing himself to Sita with a beautiful song legit warmed my heart so much, he’s so wholesome

Ravana filing his nails while listening to Hanuman’s speech only to be like “kill him” was darkly hilarious

“alright, but set fire to his tail first, then let him go home” Ravana WTH-

Then Hanuman subsequently commits arson and burns down half the city of Lanka (cue the theme from It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia)

I have only known Vibhishana for a minute and a half but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone in this room and then myself /j

Bridge building montage woohooo

Why do all the rakshasas sound either animalistic or flamboyant?

Speaking of which, there’s no way Indrajit is straight, no man who wears indigo eyeshadow, a crop top, no trousers and knee high boots isn’t at least a little bit bent

“Oh, what a nuisance! This is bothering me!” Ah yes, just how I’d describe being in the middle of a battle between literal demons and very floofy monkeys

Rama’s speech about respecting life was genuinely one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever heard

Kumbhakarna is the best boi

Kumbhakarna is the best round sleepy boi in the history of everything

His sons were absolute badasses and their deaths made me sad (not at all helped by his heartbroken expression when he found out)

I love how it literally took being waterboarded to wake up this giant

Vibhishana just casually mentioning to Rama that Kumbhakarna would become immortal after sleeping for SIX WHOLE MONTHS

Literally everything about Kumbhakarna is immensely endearing to me in a way I cannot explain, I just wanna smoosh his cheeks and feed him strawberry mochi, also he so ROUND

Kumbhakarna, don’t eat the Vanaras ffs

Kumbhakarna getting increasingly frustrated by the flying demons buzzing around him like mosquitoes should become a meme/reaction gif, purely because of how he yells “yOu ArE aNnOyInG mE!” at them

*two strikes of a divine sword later* NUUUUU MY BABYYYYY 😭

“I wish I’d known him as a friend, Vibhishana” that’s it, happy AU where everybody lives and they’re all besties let’s gooooo *crying inside*

The way Ravana’s voice quakes when he hears he’s now sans a brother 🥺

Indrajit is horrible but I love him

HANUMAN JUST AIRLIFTED A FUCKING MOUNTAIN HOLY SMOKES-

Omgggg an aerial battle this is so cool- INDRAJIT NOOOOO

RAVANA WHERE DID YOU GET AN AEROPLANE???

Yikes, Ravana, you’re really laying on the body horror here 😳

Awww Rama and Sita are together again yayyyy

Yasssss happy ending we love to see it!

Why are they flying to the moon in a glittering gold helicopter???

Basically, I love this movie and everything about it, especially Kumbhakarna 💞

(Also for the record I mean absolutely no disrespect by any of this)