#ff.net and quickly LJ | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

spencer-sweets · 7 months ago

Text

Marvel Fic Recs | Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier

so.. i never watched these movies as they came out.. seeing as the first was released 5 years before i was born. i also kind of had a strange loyalty to the mcu for most of my adolescence that made me not watch the fox films except deadpool. well, when i first took my baby steps into this side of the fandom after dp&w, i was introduced to this pairing. at first i saw the merits of it and shipped it tangentially. like i wasn't seeking out cherik fics but in my mind it may as well have been canon and i didn't put much thought into it. then the edits on tiktok indoctrinated me into watching the rest of the movies and now here we are.

[this rec list is incomplete and will be updated as I find more fics I enjoy - last update 4/7/25]

given back, but not to keep by etharei (LJ) Explicit 5,014 It starts one morning when, walking down a hallway during a lull between lessons, Erik comments casually to Charles, "Don't forget to train yourself too." Warning: mention of non-con fantasy

a fun and smutty exploration into charles' powers. i feel like there is often not enough credit given to how powerful he is, and often erik seems to treat charles' telepathy with disdain compared to other mutations - not in this fic! yummy telepathy sex ftw.

If This Isn't A Kingdom by Jeeps (Dreamwidth) Adult (Explicit) 7,105 [Charles teaches Erik to Dance]

a short and sweet smut fic.

Iolaus by clarasteam for Kalypso (ao3) Mature 9 465 He calls Erik my friend and the words resonate with a meaning only Charles can hear. There's a dangerous pleasure in it, that hidden meaning he longs to be able to share with Erik. Maybe one day, or one night, he'll find a way to tell him. But time is running out and he hasn't done it yet.

such an amazing fic for how short it is. this fic really touches of the homophobia of the mid-1900's in ways that i findbare often ignored in cherik fics. charles comes to terms with his feelings for erik during xmfc with his memories of his queer friend at oxford (who was in love with charles) it was beautifully written and is definitely worth the read - coming from someone who doesn't typically like oc's in fics.

The One About The Turtleneck by zamwessell (LJ) NC-17 (Explicit) 10,543 Charles decides to borrow one of Erik's turtlenecks. Things quickly get out of hand.

cute and fluffy and set at westchester during xmfc. i also really loved the interactions with the rest of the characters in this fic.

Been There, Done That by As You Wish (ao3) Mature 10,722 Erik Lehnsherr is stuck re-living the same day over and over again. A day that just so happens to be the day he and Charles Xavier took a handful of mutants to Cuba to stop a war.

i listened to this in PODFIC format, read by the marvelous Litra

so this is a time loop fic and one that takes the trope and makes it very useful. its a beach divorce time loop, but it does something i don't see often in these and makes it clear neither charles nor erik want what would be the best outcome. it's great and a fun take on the trope.

By my Side by MacandLacy (ao3) Teen+ 11,444 Erik comes back for Charles, three weeks after the events of Cuba.

so this ones on the shorter side of the fics i tend to enjoy and i would have wholeheartedly loved a hundred thousand more words of this. erik kidnaps charles from the hospital post-xmfc and helps to rehabilitate charles after his paralysis. it feels like a slow burn but rather than watching it in real time we are just watching a timelapse - glimpses over time as to how they come to trust each other again.

First Time For Everything by sunshineofthespotlessmind (FF.Net) Teen 14,000 When your life is a constant quest for revenge, you don't have time for the little things- so now, with the help of our favourite telepath, Erik discovers ice cream, among other things. Slash & totally fluffy, but I couldn't help it.

erik experiencing things for the first time while living at westchester during xmfc. its short and fluffy and was fun to read.

Another Way by glacis (ao3) Not Rated 14,863 Another way it might have gone, if Charles had found the right words, and Erik had listened.

if only charles and erik were a little bit more grey in their moralities - erik a little lighter and charles a little darker. a short glance into what it might have been like if only they could stay on the same side in xmfc.

Time to Grow by zarah5 (ao3) (Restricted) Mature 20,964 In which you'll find chess dates which aren't dates (or maybe Charles is wrong about that). -- Based on First Class, this turns (slightly) AU during the beach scene.

this one was really interesting. charles isn't paralyzed in this one (if that's an issue for you) but the story is set post-xmfc and is the two of them slowly reconnecting. it was really good and i really enjoyed the way the author let them grow as characters and their dynamic grow in ways that felt realistic.

write this number down (you can call it anytime) by pocky_slash (ao3) Teen 21,533 When Erik upsets his children, they have a habit of running away from home--and straight to Charles' school for cookies and consolation. Charles doesn't mind the visitors, but as they appear more and more frequently, he realizes that sooner or later, he and Erik are going to have to talk about what happened on the beach and what it means for their future and the future of Erik's children.

I'm not one for kidfics but i loved this fic so much. i love pietro and wanda in this and the way they always come crawling to their fun dad charles when erik upsets them.

it's like one of us woke up by kaydeefalls (ao3) 25 293 "You came here for me," Charles said, meeting Shaw's gaze levelly. "So let's not waste any more time." Canon!AU in which Charles and Erik do find Shaw in Russia.

this was an interesting exploration of a what if! for xmfc and it has some x men we didn't see in the movie in it

Five Nights In Nuremberg by FuryRed (ao3) Explicit 26,138 When Charles escapes from the mutant prison he has been held in for the last two years, he knows that he’s going to need help to avoid being recaptured. What he doesn’t expect is that help will come in the form of a mysterious German man who rescues Charles and takes him to his home; a handsome stranger who, frustratingly, doesn’t speak a single word of English…

so this was the first fic i ever read for this ship in its entirety, and it held me in a vice grip. i listened to it while camo grinding for cod multiplayer, and i was so enamored by this story i had to turn off my game because i kept dying.

if you have ever seen one of my fic recs before, you might be aware i don't typically like au fics. often, i find myself frustrated because i feel like if it's possible for me to change the names of the characters and a few aspects of the story around and see it published as its own work - it's not really a fanfic in my mind. at that point, it's original fiction that takes inspiration from a character or dynamic from another piece of media. which is fine!! no shade to those who like it but when i'm in the mood for fanfiction, i want to explore these characters and the world they live in more vividly than the source material and if i wanted an original story i'd go to the library.

yeah, so this is an exception. every once in a while, i stumble across an au that explores the world and characters so well that it overrides that rule. it's rare, but it happens, and this is one of them. i love it. this fic awakened something deep within me and held me hostage until it was over. dear god, this fic was hot, and it was such a beautiful exploration into their dynamic in a world adjacent to the x men. marvelous. this fic has earned a spot alongside some 300,000 word fanfictions in my top 10 greatest fanfictions of all time

Lucid Dreaming by listerinezero (ao3) Mature 28 537 Magneto finds himself in 1962, on the morning they go to Cuba, in the bed of the young Charles who'd spent months letting him think they were in love before breaking his heart. But he is not the same man he was forty years earlier, and as he gets to know young Charles again, he discovers that things might not have been exactly the way he remembered them after all.

this is on pretty much everyones rec lists and its for good reason. theres another fic thats highly recomended in this fandom where charles travels back in time that i personally didn't enjoy but i loved this one. flops between the perspectives of both versions of erik as he encounters a world that could have been his own.

Blood and Steel and Miles Between by dreamlittleyo (ao3) Explicit 29 464 (Post-movie AU.) On a beach in Cuba, Charles manages to talk Erik down from the edge. But even after the missiles have been diverted, compromise is impossible. There are two different futures to build, and Erik and Charles will always be separated by their principles. But when Charles is kidnapped and the X-Men can't find him, Erik will get him back no matter the consequences. Meanwhile, trapped alone in his mind for the first time in his life, Charles comes face to face with the truth about what and who he wants. When convictions stand in direct opposition to the heart, which will prevail?

ugh this one is bittersweet to me. protective!erik my heart. they both clearly love each other so much but neither can compromise their trust or their ideals.

Shout it Out Loud by dreamlittleyo (ao3) Explicit 30,403 (Movie-Concurrent AU.) When Charles forges a telepathic link between himself and Erik, the two men find themselves bound together by more than just destiny. With the world on the brink of war, Charles and Erik struggle to cope with a psychic connection that may well be permanent.

so this is essentially xmfc retold with the addition of charles and erik having a telepathic bond. charles feels guilty about it and erik is more resigned to it.

What the Future brings by Nera_Solani (ao3) Mature 30,442 If you could change the future, would you do it? If you knew something was about to go wrong, would you try to prevent it? If you could change anything you wanted, would you fix things, or make them worse? If you could see every possible future, which one would you choose and would you be brave enough to make the required changes? Time is a fragile concept, you never know what a tiny change can lead to, but if you could see it all, if you knew exactly what needed to happen or not to get a certain outcome, what would you do? There’s one mutant, only one, who can do exactly that and she already knows what needs to be changed. For the greater good and for the good of two stubborn men who don’t even know she exists. Yet. Or: The one in which Erik keeps dreaming about Cuba until it actually happens

an interesting take on the timeloop genre - a mutant with the ability to see all possible futures visits erik in his dreams to let him play out the events of cuba over and over until it happens. compared to Been There Done That, this one felt a lot softer and fluffier. It has its sad moments but overall its a sweet story. felt slightly ooc at times but i didn't mind.

If You Loved Me by frau_kali, spaceAltie (ao3) Mature 32,535 Canon divergent AU set before DoFP. Having escaped from prison, Erik returns to the mansion to find Charles at his lowest point, and is confronted with the guilt of what his actions in Cuba did to his friend, and the contempt he feels at Charles for giving up as much as he has.

this fic felt very realistic as to how they might feel between xmfc and dofp - this one has a very bittersweet ending but honestly it made sense given how little they were willing to compromise. felt very in character especially with how erik felt about charles throughout the story and his urge to help him get sober from the serum.

For I Mean to Conquer Troy by twelve_pastels (ao3) Mature 34,570 Set one year post movie, Charles overloads himself in Cerebro, and his mind goes walkabout; wherever he is (and he’s around), it’s not in his body. Erik temporarily takes over the school in his absence, and finds that there’s little time for resentment or hatred when he’s busy organizing assigned reading for English lit, keeping the youngest children out of trouble, and trying to talk Raven into wearing clothing for the boys’ sake. Somewhere in between taking responsibility for the students and dreaming Charles’ dreams every night, he manages to remember that he’s something rather more than a weapon. In other words: A Love Story between two Gentlemen, told in Prose, Epistles, and Nonsense Rhymes.

so this fic doesn't have a whole lot of charles in it considering he's kind of in a coma the whole time. but erik gets to run the school and becomes attached to the students, plus his free time and his ability to see charles' nightmares leads him to realize how much he loves charles and how much he wants to stay at the school.

Arms I'd Never Use by alby_mangroves, anselm0 (ao3) Explicit 35,759 “We’re both disasters,” Erik states quietly. “In all likelihood, this will end in disaster.” “You love me,” Charles says simply, “as much as I love you. That has to count for something.” It doesn't end on the beach in Cuba, but that doesn't mean it's going to be easy as Erik tries to repair his relationship with Charles.

this one was great! an xmfc fix it fic where erik stays after cuba. it also has phenomenal art attached throughout the story.

When an Unstoppable Force Meets an Immovable Optimist by ToriTC198 (ao3) Teen+ 53,323 "You are always trying to save me, Charles." Erik mused aloud. "Ever since you dove into the ocean and dragged me out. Did it ever occur to you that I might not be worth saving?" A genuine smile broke out on Charles' face as he brightly answered, "No, my friend, not once. I have every confidence you are well worth saving. But, I never truly believed I could save you. You are not the sort of man who someone saves. The choice to be a better man has always been yours to make and I hold no illusions that I can make that decision for you. I simply have faith that one day you will save yourself. I only hope I am still at your side to witness it." - What if Erik and Charles had been able to find a middle ground in the end?

a retelling of xmfc that expands on charles and eriks relationship througout the story and how it may have changed what happened in cuba.

lay down beside me (so still and so soft) by TakePenAndInk (a03) (Restricted) Mature 53,534 A different take on the events of the film.

so i was initially hesitant to read this because of the vague description but i wound up really enjoying it. this really focused on erik's trauma prior to xmfc. its also very explicit in its sex scenes - with erik not wanting charles to see his scars. its an interesting exploration of eriks character and what he hides - and it has a happier ending than the movie.

Holiday Fic by luninosity (ao3) 73 820 [reccer's description] a series of holiday oriented oneshots. some are connected but most aren't.

gorgeous as always from the lovely luninosity. honestly check out every cherik fic they've written.

Thou Shalt Not Eat Stones by valancysnaith (ao3) Not Rated (Mature) 77,422 Two months after Washington, Raven found Erik in a skeevy motel off the Florida interstate. “They have Charles, Erik,” she said. The bedframe shrieked. In the bathroom, the showerhead snapped in half and clattered into the tub.

ooof. this one made me have a bit of a crisis. so sometimes when i read fanfic and there's a lot of whump of an existential or philosophical nature i wind up going "if i were _ i'd just kms".

well, if i were charles i'd just kms.

anyways, great whump and comfort that doesn't compromise the integrity of their characters and gives them a deeply nuanced and three-dimensional feel. technically, dark!charles but more so an exploration into/an interpretation of his motives for pacifism and the extent of his powers.

Survival Instinct by Lindstrom (ao3) (restricted) Mature 115 714 It’s been months since Charles pulled Erik out of the ocean, and Erik is beginning to wonder how many more times he can choose Charles, and still keep his vow to kill Shaw. Cooperating with the CIA is straining Erik’s patience. When a fact-gathering mission goes wrong and Charles is kidnapped, Erik is left trying to hold their mutant band together while Raven and the rest of them fall apart. No one can foresee how the mutant Charles meets in captivity will challenge all his assumptions about his own power, and twist Charles’ telepathy out of his control. In the race to stop Shaw's nuclear ambitions from coming to fruition, Charles makes a crucial misstep. Erik’s decision between Shaw and Charles takes on unexpected ramifications when [spoiler deleted]. **Author saw XMFC for the first time last summer (2018) (yeah, I know), so this is the fix-it fic that should have been posted in 2012 with all the rest of them. Mmm, oh well.**

loved charles in this and his mutant friend. loved the dynamic between them. also erik was great in this fic. lovely read.

Through the Barricades, Cross the Lines, Dance Upon the Streets by starandrea (ao3) Mature 118,141 Erik and Charles learned to live without each other once. It's harder the second time--so before they even discuss it, they've decided not to try. (Erik accidentally moves into the mansion without anyone but Charles noticing for days. He may be the first to return, but he won't be the last.) Erik spent nine years in a prison without metal. Charles spent three years cut off from any thoughts but his own. As they recover their powers, they try to rekindle their relationship, but the world won’t wait for them to catch up. (The government is entirely too interested in Charles even before the X institute officially reopens. Charles and Erik spend a lot of time talking about their feelings while Hank runs the school.) Charles may be a visionary, and Erik is a force of nature, but their plans are alarmingly short-sighted and their organizational skills are nonexistent. It’s up to the teachers at Xavier’s to keep Icarus aloft, or they’re all going to have a hell of a view for the end of the world.

so omg. these are three fics that are a part of a 4 part series. i'll admit i haven't read the last one but only because i have a feeling its set in the same world but there is a time skip unlike the other three so i haven't found the motivation for finishing it. however, i can attest to the greatness of the first three. it has pretty much everything i like in it - fictional politics, erik and charles learning to compromise, post-dofp. there are so many side characters in this and even if they aren't perfectly fleshed out they are always great. ugh so good. this shit is my bread and butter of fics.

its set dofp and it really does give credence to the level of power charles holds. this author's writing style is great for this, the dialogue, the writing for scenes really does convey what the characters are feeling. sometimes its messy and there are a lot of set-backs within the story but honestly its worth the read if not just for how well crafted it all is. if "by my side" felt like glimpses into them growing together like a timelapse this felt damn close to real time.

All Along the Watchtower, Education or Why Cerebro was Built by Hippies by NezumiPi (FF.Net) Teen+ (I would rate it Explicit) 133,595 A series of vignettes expanding the story of the First Class movie, largely exploring Charles' attempt to "help" Erik. A sequel to All Along the Watchtower beginning 4 months after the Cuban Missile Crisis. Can you fight a war and build a school at the same time? Charles and Erik struggle with compromise, practicality, and drug enforcement policies.

don't let the author's descriptions of these fics turn you off - i thoroughly enjoyed reading both. the first is a retelling of xmfc with some added scenes but i think they do a marvelous job at making the world feel real. it explores the perspectives of some of the other characters from xmfc like sean, hank, and alex as well. the author did an amazing job of making erik feel like a deeply traumatized man and charles a complex character. the sequel continues this. the author did a lot of work in writing this fic outside of putting words down - its clear they did a lot of research on the holocaust, paralysis, and social issues of the 1960's. ive seen some criticize that these fics kind of jump and have some flimsiness in their plot and pacing but i thought it made the fics feel very real. to me it makes perfect sense to explore side stories that may not have an overwhelming importance on the plot because in real life the world doesn't wait for plot progression. it was an amazing read.

Rumor Has It by blueink3 (ao3) Mature 166,073 "Did I hear the doorbell earlier?" "Yeah, but I'd steer clear if I were you. It seemed a little tense. I don't know what's going on, but there's a kid out there who looks freakily like the prof." Nearly six months after Cuba, Charles' life is turned upside down for the second time. Though he's slowly learning to adapt to the first, he's not sure he can handle the second. Luckily for him, there are a few people out there more than willing to help.

i initially passed this one aside because im not typically fond of kidfics. i actually really enjoyed this one. the dynamic between charles and erik is very interesting in this fic and feels very true to there characters. it also honed in on the idea that the first class are erik and charles' kids very well in ways i havent really seen explored. sometimes things happen for the sake of drama but i really loved every minute of it. the relationships in this fic are so well done and really made me love the rest of the cast of characters.

Dark Flowers (by Niphrehdil) by AliceAngel (ao3) (Restricted) Teen+ (I would rate it Mature or Explicit) 183,423 When Charles is captured by a secret organization and used as a weapon for searching and destroying other mutants, Erik has to go after and save him. Erik keeps telling himself he does it only for the mutant kind. At least until he finds Charles.

this fic is rather dark. fair warning there. but, if you can look past some of the glaring grammatical issues - this is one of the best pieces of fiction i've found in a while. it was dark and it made me feel sick to my stomach at some times but there was a lot of comfort to balance out the hurt. it felt insanely in character and it felt like a very well thought out dynamic between charles and erik and it feels very believable. if you like side characters or really fun stories this isn't for you but its an amazing story, it made me feel viscerally sick at times, cry, laugh out loud - the writing is wonderful and beautifully conveys erik's feelings.

originally posted: 12/3/24

#fic rec #erik lehnsherr/charles xavier #cherik #charles xavier #erik lehnsherr #x men #cherik fic rec #marvel

32 notes · View notes

needcake · 1 year ago

Text

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers!

Thank you for the tag @shachaai!!

Anyone who wants to do it, please feel free to steal!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

42! Some older stuff didn't make the jump from ff.net and lj to ao3

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

357,987, half of that is for universal river alone haha

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Right now mainly Hetalia, but I used to write a lot of Naruto some ten years ago. I also dabbled a little with Captain America, Star Trek, Inuyasha and some other random fandoms over the years

4. Top five fics by kudos?

In this universal river - 196

Such sound and fury - 157

Contagious - 115

I hope this finds you well - 107

Arthur's obligatory day off - 104

Considering that these are all one-shots and universal river is currently 28 chapters long, I'd place it much lower on this list lol

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes! Might take me a while because I like to do it from my computer instead of my phone, but I try to reply as quickly as possible. I feel so guilty over some older comments that I never replied to that I try to be on top of it as much as possible.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Mmmmmmm I think it's a tie between the For now we see through a glass, darkly and I held sugar between my fingertips, under water

As much as I like a cathartic ending, I really do enjoy a pit of despair every once in a while (The earth devours is also going to have a sort of bleak ending lol)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably Such sound and fury and Old new beginnings, as in they don't end in a compromise or in a vague hopeful note. Characters went through the process and came out better for it on the other end. That's always a happy ending to me.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I received some, usually from England fans who think I'm massacring their boy

9. Do you write smut?

Yesss, smut is a lot of fun!

10. Craziest crossover?

I'm not really big on crossovers :(

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

That I know of, once. It was a Naruto NaruHina fic that a friend of mine found cross-posted on orkut, some kid thought it was good and wanted her friends to see it. I asked her to take it down and direct people to the ff.net page but I stopped following up on that after a while. This was of course some 15 years ago XD

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

A faery song was translated into Chinese! But I'm not super comfortable with translations, specially when people ask me if it's ok to post them in different platforms. I'd rather keep it all on Ao3 where I can see what it's being used for.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

@rein-ette and I did a collaboration on a Tokyo Olympics series and I also did a collaboration with @rosesandalfazemas where I wrote two pieces and she provided beautiful art <3

14. All time favourite ship?

Engport and McKirk <3

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Mmmmm I used to have two Naruto fics that I always hoped to finish but I have long accepted I'm never going back to them again lol and because of that I try to never go into bigger projects without having finished the full draft, so that exact same thing doesn't happen again. So yeah, might take me some time but I still hope to finish In this universal river and The earth devours haha

16. What are your writing strengths?

I've been told it's description, which I find funny because I always think I'm doing a terrible job at it lol but to me it's managing the tension. It's something I adore doing and I try to be better at it with every new fic.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Descriptions lol I feel like if I were writing any kind of original fiction instead of fanfiction based on a pre-existing work no one would know what my characters looked like apart from eye and hair color lol

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

Eeeeh I'm kinda iffy about it. When used right, in the right context and with actual meaning within the narrative I think it can be cool as hell, but having Naruto as my main background I cannot tell you the amount of random japanese thrown in for effect that made no sense and pissed me offfffffff, so yeah, I don't really love it. For many years Hetalia was also plagued by this and I have to admit I did it too. I was learning russian back in college and I thought it'd be cool to throw in some russian in a fic, only to receive a comment telling me I shouldn't use google translate and that the word I used was feminine and not masculine as it should be. Which is, you know, the kind of mistake you make when you're learning a new language and haven't fully grasped gender rules yet. I felt so ashamed after that that I never tried it again lol

I will say this though, sometimes I prefer when people don't use foreign words when it's just thrown in there. I speak English as a second language and I don't mix it up with Portuguese unless I'm tired and/or drunk. I'd rather writers give me a reason why these characters are suddenly reverting to their mother-language and use that to add to the plot instead of just randomly throwing stuff there to give it a foreign color.

19. First fandom you wrote in?

Inuyasha!! Back in 2004! I wrote a behemoth of 38 chapters and posted it all in one thing thing on ff.net (I later cleaned it up and fixed it with 38 chapters lol)

20. Favourite fic you've written?

Forget-me-nots, 1212: fever dream (part of the 2021 whumptober) and And he became a pillar of salt (part of the 2023 hetaberia week) :)

#ask game #I love an opportunity to go off about writing haha

5 notes · View notes

maranull · 2 years ago

Note

There's a lot of Armored Core fanfic out there, but almost all of it is posted to the older private matchmaking/competitive community boards rather than to FF.net/LJ/AO3.

Last Raven had the most fic up until AC6 came out, but AC6 is quickly gaining on it. It's definitely gonna surpass Last Raven soon.

Ah, that makes much more sense. Sometimes I forget that AO3 is relatively young (at least compared to the first AC game) and also that it's not the only fanfic site. Thanks for letting me know!

#ac6 #asks

7 notes · View notes

fanficfanattic · 1 year ago

Note

🍓

🍓How did you get into writing fanfiction:

HP 🤦🏻‍♀️

I devoured the books and then went onto ff.net to get more content. (H/G quickly switched to H/D lololol).

And my brain was always spinning stories. So I started writing on livejournal. And thank god none of that ever made it’s way out beyond lj. 😅

If JK wasn’t an absolute monster, I’d have probably eventually posted them onto ao3 for posterity. But god no. Never!

I also got to befriend a lot of really excellent people throughout the years. 💜

From this ask meme!

#asks answered

3 notes · View notes

shadowfae · 4 years ago

Note

We’re all pretty aware that the tumblr otherkin community is at a huge decline; I was wondering if you have any theories as to why that is?

American Protestantism, the decline of queer oppression in North America and the AIDS crisis, helicopter parenting, web 3.0, morality politics, and Tumblr’s porn ban; roughly in that order and rolled up into one bombshell that was a few years in the coming but nobody really saw it and understood it until it was far too late.

That was a mouthful and probably only made sense if you follow current cyberpolitical theory. For some of you reading this, as with every other hot take I have this has a chance of being passed around, that alone is enough. But for others who had no idea what I just said and need the ELI5 version, let me explain that. Buckle up, this’ll be a long one, and will go into fandom history a bit as well because it is actually relevant.

As we know, tumblr is a very American-centric platform. Twitter is also this way, but less so, but tumblr has it bad. Now, I’m ‘lucky’ in the fact that I’m Canadian and a twenty minute drive from the American border, so that puts me in the ‘privileged’ majority. (I say privileged because I’m not really sure what else to call it. Most of the information going around about politics either directly affects me or indirectly affects me approximately one or two links of contact away. Someone who’s only influenced by American politics because it makes their sister’s online friends sad is not going to be privileged in that way.)

This means that American politics and their social climate overwhelmingly affects tumblr’s social climate. This also bleeds through into other fandom spaces, on twitter, instagram, and Pixiv to name a few places; but here’s where I spend the majority of my time so here’s what I’ve witnessed.

America’s main religion, as far as I understand (from the raised agnostic and currently neopagan view I have), is some weirdass capitalistic-Protestantism that is so many miles from what the actual Bible says that if I were a betting man and knew more about cults than I did, I’d say it’s some weird fucking cult and never set foot in the country again for any reason that isn’t gaming free shipping through a PO box. If you have no idea what I just said but are at least vaguely familiar with Christianity, this graphic explains it pretty well. So we can see there’s some glaring issues with that ideal.

The decline of queer oppression and the rise of queer rights in North America, which is to tenderly include my own country but we all know when people say ‘in NA’ they mean ‘America, and Canada where it applies because the right-wing Republicans are really good in the propaganda department to convince everyone that Mexico is a drug-lords-and-anarchy wasteland to the point where even I don’t actually know what’s down there other than bad drivers and heat’; means two things. One, it’s a good thing by a long shot and do not mistake this as me thinking queer oppression being lessened is a bad thing. But two, it means that thanks to the AIDS crisis, queer folks lost a lot of first-person sources as history.

The queer elders in NA who survived are typically either a) bitter anarchists who are often POC, probably still dirt poor and do recreational drugs or b) university-tenured TERFs (trans exclusionary radical feminists). Category A are the people who Republicans have deemed worthless in every way, because racism, queerphobia, ableism, and all the other ways to be wrong and different and Evil that they can’t handle, because Jeezus would never want them to actually learn to love someone who wasn’t just like them, and they don’t have the compassion to do better. Category B are the people who want to be different in just a teensie little bit, typically with TERFs they want to be lesbians, but they don’t want to challenge the status quo. They’re fine with the way things work, they just want to be on top oppressing others over ripping the whole damn thing down and building a more forgiving system.

Now, due to all those ‘isms and the cheerfully malicious aid of the Republicans, pun not intended but drives home the cruelty of it all, we also see the rise of helicopter parenting. The invention of the internet did not really help this. Basically what you’ve got is a whole bunch of parents who saw the civil rights movement, just got access to the internet and things going viral, know the world is changing, and like all parents, they’re scared for their children. Now instead of parents knowing one or two people in their classes who just went missing one day and everyone assumed they ran away, they hear about eight homicides in the city of kids going to parks at night and dying. The Satanic Panic was another event around this time that contributed to that, but I’ll let you research that one.

This means that all of these parents, instead of doing what their parents typically did and let their kids wander off for the day so long as they’re back by sundown, they can’t let their children out of their sight. There might be a freak accident where their child is decapitated on the playground swing! Their baby might get murdered by an evil Satanist walking home from school! Their dearest darling might go online and tell their address to someone who’s got a 100% chance of being a pedophile who will show up and kidnap them in the night!

…You get the idea.

Combine those three things I just established, what we’ve got is a lot of queer kids who have a lot of internalized shame for being different and wrong, because they’re queer, and they can’t find spaces offline to be themselves, because all of the elders who would do that are dead and/or inaccessible and their parents won’t let them go to any clubs that aren’t school-related, which they’ll never find a GSA or queer club because Republicans, ‘isms, propaganda, and the war on Category A queer adults have all done their best to ensure that those spaces don’t exist.

So you have a generation of kids who I am the youngest of. The first generation on the internet. The late Web 1.0 (usenets and Geocities) and early Web 2.0 (livejournal was the big one, ff.net too, also 4chan but fuck those guys) generation. What we were taught was: trust nobody on the internet with your real info no matter how much you like them, this is a wilderness and any crimes that happen won’t be punished or seen so don’t put yourself in a position where you’re going to be the victim of one, and everything you put online is never getting taken down so don’t put anything up that you’re not willing to have on the front page of your local newspaper.

This worked out pretty well, actually! You had kids who knew that if they got in trouble, there was no backup coming to save them. Because the form that backup might take - parents and police - wasn’t going to help. Best case, they’d be banned from their friends and online support groups for being queer. Worst case, they’d be jailed and put in juvie and conversion therapy and turn to drugs and become evil Satanists just like everyone says they secretly are already. So they learned very quickly to take care of themselves. Nobody was going to save them, so they learned to not need saving.

And then, well, Web 2.0 shifted to Web 3.0. Livejournal died because parents - the Warriors for Innocence was the big name - went “gasp how horrible my children are being exposed to the evil pedos and homosexuals they’re going to do drugs and die of AIDS!”. Which is uh. It’s filled with a lot of bigotry, and I’m not excusing them - absolutely I am not - but you can kind of see where they’re coming from, if you tilt your head and squint.

Either way, LJ died, tumblr took its place, Facebook was fast taking off, and the fandom folks who had seen mailing lists go inactive, web admins take their fanfic sites down due to copyright, entire fandoms burnt to the ground in flame wars, said ‘fuck that we’re making our own place’ and that’s how AO3 got made.

That’s important. A lot of folks move to AO3, because well, the rules let them. The rules say ‘you can throw literally anything up here so long as it’s fan content and is not literally illegal, so we don’t get taken down’. It’s a swing for the first generation internet users, those kids who know this place is a wilderness and are carving out our own sanctuary.

But. The children under us. The children for whom AIDS is a nightmarish fairy tale, for whom the ghost stories are conversion therapy, for whom know they can’t really talk to their parents about being queer but can trust they probably won’t get kicked out over it. The children who haven’t spent ten seconds without supervision except online, and their reaction isn’t ‘oh thank god I’m finally free to express myself’ but ‘if I get in trouble, who will protect me?’.

And there’s nobody there. Because we went in knowing there was no backup. And that was fine. But now, the actual adults have figured out that hey uh, maybe we should make cyber laws? Maybe we should make revenge porn and grooming children over the internet crimes? And they grew up with that. They grew up learning that no, even if your parents are suffocating and controlling, they’re always be there for you! Some adult will always be there to protect you!

That isn’t the case. It’s not. But they expect it, because it’s always been done for them. They don’t really want to change the status quo, because that means doing it themselves. They can’t do that, because they don’t know how, they’ve been controlled for every single part of their lives thanks to helicopter parenting and without that control, they don’t know how to keep their lives together, and they demand someone come and control it for them, without restraining them.

Effectively, they want someone to ensure they never face the consequences of their actions. Helicopter parents will rescue you from whatever you did, because you’re their precious baby and it doesn’t matter if you punched a kid, you can do no wrong and the other kid clearly started it.

But being queer is doing wrong. Being queer is something Jeezus doesn’t approve of. So they want to make it something he could approve of! But if it’s too off what they consider to be okay, if it’s too different and weird and wrong and evil, that can’t do, that’s still bad, and they’re precious angels, and children, and minors, why are we the adults not protecting them and letting them see it? Why aren’t we being just like their parents but queer-friendly, why aren’t we protecting the children?

The adults who taught us were the children of those who died as a result of AIDS. The eldest of my generation knew some of them personally. My therapist’s younger brother died at 20 of AIDS, and she told me what it was like. But they don’t have that. These kids of web 3.0, they don’t have that. What they have is over-controlling parents, and the expectation that someone will always be there to protect them but hopefully in ways that don’t hurt them this time, no real understanding of why Category A queer elders are the way they are, and so much internalized shame that they have to do some pretty fancy logic-leaping to keep them from collapsing entirely.

They can’t turn into Category A queer youngsters, because they don’t know how to unravel the system around them, because they’ve never had to actually make choices in their lives and live with the consequences, because they don’t have the example of how to do it. They can’t unravel their internalized shame because again, that’s hard and they don’t have their parents to take away the consequences and pain. It doesn’t come easy to them, so it may as well not come at all.

But, you ask, if Category A queer elders aren’t around to teach the kids, then how are they learning anything positive at all? Well, Category B, our university-tenured TERFs, who don’t want to change the status quo but want to just be at the top of it instead.

For a lot of kids who don’t know how to make hard choices but want to be queer, this is an extremely attractive option. But when they go online to queer spaces, a lot of them say fuck terfs, we don’t support your hate, and they go ‘yeah okay that makes sense’. They can say fuck terfs without ever actually questioning why terfs are bad. They’re Bad and Evil, just like drug addicts, just like fairytale nazis, just like the evil homophobes.

And we saw them say ‘yeah fuck terfs’ and we were like, ‘aight you got it’ and we never questioned if they actually understood us. They didn’t. They didn’t, and we didn’t do enough to fix it, because not enough of us realized the problem. So terfs got a little sneaky. They hid behind dogwhistles and easy little comments, hiding their rhetoric in queer theory that you’ll absolutely miss if you just memorize it and never actually question it and understand why that point is being made.

This goes back to America sucking, because their school system is far more focused on rote memorization over actual logic and understanding of the text. They’re engaging with queer theory the way they’ve been taught, which is memorize and don’t think, don’t question. Besides, questioning and understanding is hard. Being shown different points of view and asked what they think is not only hard but requires them to go against all of the conditioning that says to just listen and agree and never question it, which goes back to tearing the system and internalized shame down, and we’ve established they can’t do that so naturally they don’t do that.

This begets, then, the rise of exclusionary politics. They’re turning into Category B queer youngsters, because we told them ‘hey that’s a terf talking point what are you doing’ and they never questioned why. They learned you can do all sorts of things, just don’t say X, Y, or Z, because they never thought deeply about it.

The children who have grown on Web 3.0 do not want to do any heavy lifting to make things easier for themselves long-run. They want to do as little as possible and have things get better for them. There isn’t enough of us left in Category A, because Category B terfs are very good at recruiting young folks and Cat. A is overwhelming poor, dead, and easily dismissed in the system as evil and bad, so we can’t exactly convince the young folks to listen. If all of the young kids could agree to tear down the system, a lot more older folks might listen. Change always starts with the young, and there’s a reason for that.

But Republicans have figured out, if you get people fighting, they never put together a force that can actually stop you. TERFs, who want the exact same thing as Republicans but with themselves on top, are doing this to queer youth, and Cat. A elders can’t fight back because there isn’t enough of them and the odds are against them, and the young folk like me who follow their lead.

People can kinda handle gay people. It’s not so far from the acceptable normal that it’s impassable. But you want them to handle kinky people? Gay people of colour? Kinky gay people of colour? Trans people? Those are bridges too far to step across. The original idea was to get the foot in the door with marriage equality and inch our way through with racial equality, sex positivity, dismantling ableism and perisexism (forgive me if that isn’t the word for anti-intersex ‘ism), and see if we can’t patch up the system instead of inciting a civil war over this and have to tear down the system entirely.

Well, we might’ve managed that if not for AIDS being the perfect ‘Jeezus is killing all the evil gay people for being sinners’ propaganda machine. As it stands now, not a chance in hell. So long as Republicans and terfs keep everyone fighting, nobody has the power to dismantle their empire, and they stay in power.

So then, you ask me, “Lu what the fuck does that have to do with the decline of otherkinity on tumblr???” and now that you’ve got all that background knowledge, here is your answer.

Those children who want their experiences curated for them and the evil icky content they don’t like to be gone because it disgusts them and anything that disgusts them is clearly sinful problematic and should be destroyed, are what we call ‘antishippers’, or anti for short.

They like being progressive. Sort of. They learned what Republicans and terfs have honed to a fine talent: keep people fighting, hold them to a bar they have to constantly make or risk being ostracized, and harass the people who don’t play along into getting out of your sight forever. Sound familiar?

They learned of otherkinity, and particularly fictionkind, because web 3.0 means if something goes viral on one site, it doesn’t just go viral on that site, it makes it to worldwide newspapers and twitter and nobody ever, ever fucking forgets it. They realized the following: “Hey wait, if I’m this character for realsies, not only does it help me deal with the internalized shame I’ve done nothing to actually fix because that takes work, I can also tell these people who draw gross content I don’t like they’re hurting me personally, and that actually sounds credible, and I can shame them into stopping”.

If this is your first time here and that sounds sickening, it damn well should, and I am so, so sorry that any of us had to witness this, and I am more sorry I and everyone else who personally witnessed this didn’t realize what was going on and put a stop to it. I answer asks and browse the tags and clear up misinformation and it isn’t just a genuine desire to help. It’s damage control, and my own way of trying to deal with the guilt of not stopping this. I’m well aware I couldn’t have seen it coming, I was a teenager myself still learning and no one person has that much power. I still feel like I should have done more, and I’ll do what I can to fix what’s within my power to fix.

So back to the story. This all culminates around 2016 or so. Trump wins the election, and every queer person ever knows they’re fucked, and the younger generation’s only ever heard horror stories, never seen actual oppression that this could bring. We’re all scared. We all don’t know what to do. Nobody has any answers or any control over the situation.

So they lash out. They attack others for drawing things they don’t like, for challenging them in literally any way, for asking them to reconsider the vile shit they just said, for so much as defending themselves from the harassment they just got. And when challenged, they yell “But I’m a minor! A literal child! How dare you attack me, clearly you get off on this, you evil pedophile!” and they sling around every insult in the book until one sticks. Pedophile is a pretty good one, so is abuser, and sometimes zoophile works out too. Freak is great, everyone gets right pissed off about it.

The fact that Category A queer elders were called pedophiles and freaks is not a fact they know or care about. The fact that they are quickly making every fandom community super toxic is also not a fact they care about. The fact that the ‘kin community has words and terminology and they actually mean shit, and the fact that they’re spreading misinformation faster than we can keep up with, are not facts they care about.

So they come in, take our terms, make it impossible for us to find new folks. They realize our anger is easily a power trip, because we’re already made fun of, so they get off on the little power they can find and make fun of us too, and then when we get rightfully annoyed and pissed off, they can hide behind being minors.

Then tumblr implements their porn ban, because nobody’s stopping them, because it isn’t profitable to have porn on here. Considering most of the otherkin community, and most fandom communities, are full of adults who do occasionally talk about NSFW things, and the fact that they’re just banning everyone who so much as breathes wrong, this begins the start of a mass exodus, scattering already fragile communities to twitter, pillowfort, dreamwidth, and a few other places. Largely, twitter, where you can’t make a post longer than a snappy comeback and where the algorithm is literally designed to piss you off as much as possible.

So community elders have largely left, because they can’t stand the drama and the pain of what’s happened, and that’s if they didn’t get banned for being kinky furries who do talk about how their kintypes merge with their sexuality. Most community members have also left or stopped talking about being ‘kin, because they get associated with antishippers and toxicity and it’s just not worth it. Those of us who are left get drowned out by misinformation and trolls and wishkin and antishippers who appropriate our terminology because it supports them getting a power trip, and whenever we argue, we get called pedophiles and freaks and worse.

And now there isn’t much left. I hope we get to find a better place. Othercon was a good place to talk about it, I did a whole panel (it’s on Youtube!) about what we want to do about it. But I don’t really have any answers.

But to sum it all up... America’s political climate ultimately culminated in destroying queer spaces, and we survived, and then people who wanted to destroy smaller communities to get on top showed up and we were all but defenseless against something we had never, ever dealt with before on this scale.

One of my twitter mutuals mentioned how kinning and otherkin are now completely separate communities. It’s really the best I can do to keep hoping that continues, until nobody realizes the words are at all connected to each other. It’s the best anyone can hope for, now. I hate it. I hate every part of this. But maybe we can salvage what’s left.

#luteia laments #otherkin #fictionkin #alth #alterhuman #asks #anonymous #long post //#discussions #on community history #on politics #on public relations #commentors feel free to add your own thoughts!#Anonymous

239 notes · View notes

afteriwake · 4 years ago

Text

Empty Revenge (A “Buffyverse1000″ Story)

So in the process of trying to find my Buffyverse fic on FF.net and get it off of there before the site takes it’s last breath, I found a goldmine of drabbles and stuff I wrote for the “Buffyverse 1000″ community at LJ, where we tried to write 1,000 drabbles for 1,000 ships (we made it to, like, 721). All I’m doing editing wise is grammar edits; these are all pretty much just as I wrote them seventeen years ago. But I’m going to post them sparingly between other fics because there are a lot.

Empty Revenge - Cordelia wants revenge for being wronged, and Oz complies, but it just doesn't feel right in the end.

READ @ AO3 | BUY ME A COFFEE?

“We could get back at them,” Cordelia said as she walked with Oz to his locker. She was in pain, her ego was bruised, and all she could really think of was making Xander Harris and Willow Rosenburg as miserable as she was. Revenge was her normal forte in life, and she intended to live up to her image.

“Why?”

“Didn’t they hurt you? I mean, don’t you care?”

“Yeah, I care, but I don’t know,” Oz said slowly. He sensed Willow was walking by and did his best to avoid looking into her eyes.

“Just a kiss, that’s all I’m asking.”

Oz thought for a moment, then leaned up and kissed Cordelia on the lips, very quickly. There was no passion, only a sick feeling settling in his stomach as he watched Willow run towards the bathroom at full speed.

“See?” Cordelia said. “It worked.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Oz said, shutting his locker and turning away.

#Buffy The Vampire Slayer #Cordelia Chase #daniel osbourne #fanfic #fanfiction

4 notes · View notes

in-arlathan · 5 years ago

Text

Fic Writer Question (#3)

I was tagged by @kunstpause again. Thank you for thinking of me. Doing this tag was a joy!

Today’s topic: Stories you want to write but for some reason haven’t (yet)

I will focus on fanfiction because I have way too many ideas for original works that never went anywhere or have been set aside to age like a good wine. But that’s okay. When I looked into my old fanfic folder, I found some gems from back in the day that made me cackle like the fandom grandma that I am.

But why do I put stories on the shelf? When I started writing, the main reason for abandoning a project was that I simply lost momentum or hadn’t thought the story through to the end and therefore ran into some kind of roadblock. If that happened, my burning hatred for revisions kicked in. I loathed editing with all my heart. Sometimes I made the effort to edit stories I really liked but that often lead to me finding even more stuff I wanted to change so it all spiralled out of control and I got discouraged.

This changed when I picked up copywriting as my profession. Through my daily job, I learned tp persevere and to stick with difficult projects when the rubber hits the road. It also taught me that not every idea is suited to be turned in fiction. From then on, I chose the stories I wanted to work on a lot more carefully and stored the plot bunnies in a swipe file until they either blossomed into a full-fledged concept or withered away.

The result is a much slimmer WIP folder. I collect a lot of notes and see if I can evolve them or include them in running projects, but I don’t hesitate to toss stuff into the garbage.

And now on to some of the stories that never went anywhere (yet). I had a pretty wild selection of fandoms in the last 15 years, so I picked a few fics that stuck with me for one reason or another. Added gifs for that certain je ne sais quoi.

The fun begins behind the cut.

Dragon Age

Since DA is the only fandom I actively write for a the moment, the list of projects is rather short. But these two are definitely on-hold for the near future.

Demon’s Dance – I shared a bit about this one during the WIP Title Game. It’s a one-shot idea set during Inquisition with some hot takes on the magic system in the Dragon Age games. I shelved it for now because that would require a deep dive into a system that is so very inconsistent that it slowed me down. I do want to get to it one day, but I have other stuff I want to focus on right now.

Running With The Halla – Another fic set during Inquisition, but this one is supposed to be a multi-chapter. If I break it down to its very core, then this is a fix-it fic for my Lavellan after the loss of her clan. I did write a few scenes for this but I’m not sure if this fic isn’t best kept in the realm of head-canons.

Moving on to the older stuff...

Star Wars Legends

Hahaha, yes, I’m ancient. I wrote Star Wars fan fiction when there still was an Expanded Universe (aka “Legends”). One of my bigger projects back then was an old LJ claim for which I had to write 100 one-shots for a pairing of my chosing, in that case Luke Skywalker and Mara Jade. I got around to writing 25 of them before abandoning this undertaking because me one-shots get way too long and therefore take a lot of time to write. I always told myself that I would get back to it because I had way too much fun, but when the EU was all but wiped out, it totally killed my momentum.

I also had a long fic titled “No Good Deed” that was AU take on the gap between the OT and the prequels. The main twist being that Qui-Gon Jinn had survived. That thing was dark and angsty to no end because, of course, it was. I orginally planned this to be a three-part series but only managed to write about 2/3 of the first part. I don’t know why I put it aside though. It must have coincided with my move to Hamburg and my change in profession. I work a ton in that year and stepped away from writing fiction for quite some time afterwards. But I still think of Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan in that fic very fondly.

If you want to see me embarrass myself: I’ve made a cover for ff.net back in the day for that fic. I might share it if someone asks. My Photoshop skills were subpar but I was enthusiastic! :D

Speaking of embarrasing WIP that never went anywhere...

Honorable Mentions

There was a CSI: Miami long fic that I used to write with my best friend back in the day titled “We Never Close”. The year 2006 was wild for us, let me tell you. I’m still not quite sure what we were thinking. But we outgrew that fandom and that fic very quickly...

There also must be a ton of Harry Potter fics lurking around somewhere that never went anywhere. One was my first attempt at writing in English and I remember that it was the hardest thing ever. Must have shelved that one back in 2008.

I think that’s all I got for you today. :)

Time to tag a few people, haha. As always, feel free to skip this one or join in. This is supposed to be fun after all: @johaeryslavellan, @kittimau, @charlatron, @serial-chillr, @faerieavalon, @cornfedcryptid, @deathvalleyqueen, @midnightprelude, @tessa1972, @elfrootaddict, @noire-pandora, @wardenari, @irlaimsaaralath, @solas-disapproves

Thanks for reading this far. Much love to all of you <3

#fic writer questions #writing and rambling

12 notes · View notes

unrestedjade · 5 years ago

Note

fic writing meme: 1, 12, 17, 18, 21

Oh dang, that’s a lot! Think I’ll put this behind a cut to spare everyone’s dash.

1. The first fandom I wrote and posted for was Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. But! Somewhere in a landfill is a notebook with a very overwrought Animorphs fic about Ax falling in love with my very cool, original-character-donut-steel alien bat-centaur who can tell the future. Every day I thank the universe for not letting my family have internet access until I was 14. Actually, maybe the universe should have held out longer, but you can peep the cringe for yourself over here: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/173909/Fortuna

Yes, that is my old ff.net profile. My only regret is that I didn’t get a chance to back up my ask fics before the site suddenly decided to make a rule banning them and deleted them all. (Me, still salty over that 15 years later? Why, yes actually.)

12. A trope I haven’t tried yet but really want to? It’s hard to narrow it down; there’s a lot of “cliche” fanfic tropes I never let myself write that I want to indulge in this year. I’m thinking about finding one of those bingo cards to use or something. But since I grew up sneaking my mom’s romance novels, I think an arranged marriage would be fun to try if I have to pick just one.

17. The fic I’m most proud of should come as no surprise, lol. I still can’t believe I finished something as long and plotty as finaglc. Would love to manage it again someday. :’)

18. Line/scene dvd commentary: okay okay okay! So there’s this more-or-less abandoned DaphGan Legend of Zelda fic I was writing back in the day, that was just a loose serious of vignettes in chronological order. I had ideas for like 20 chapters and fizzled out because it turns out only about three people on the whole earth give a shit about DaphGan and I can’t write in a complete void of feedback. Anyway, I researched medieval boar hunting techniques because I desperately wanted an action scene culminating in a ~bad omen~ and here it is, so scroll by if you just want to see the last question in the batch:

Within minutes, they were deep enough that the forest canopy closed above them, far above Ganondorf’s head. In the cool and the dim, and with the rustling of leaves in the breeze overhead sounding almost like waves, Ganondorf felt as though he were at the bottom of a great, ancient lake. Mist lay in a thick blanket on the ground as high as the smaller horses’ barrels, and a carpet of dead leaves and needles deadened the sounds of their movement. The hunters had fallen silent. About that, he had no complaints.

(I recall being inordinately fond of the underwater imagery, because I’d been struggling for how to conceptualize a thick forest for a person who’s spent most of his life in the open desert.)

Save for ferns and scattered herbs, there was little in the way of troublesome plants or low branches beyond the border of the forest, and Ganondorf realized that King Daphnes’ suggestion the day before had, in truth, been polite censure of his clothing rather than any practical concern. He frowned, and put the thought aside. It did not matter.

(I was not at all subtle about the Hylians picking at the Gerudo envoy’s appearances, which I think I could handle a little better now, but alas...)

He thought instead on the many sounds surrounding them, his ears straining to hear every one. There was birdsong, in patterns and notes he had never heard. Small creatures rustled in the trees. Water gurgled somewhere out of view. The woods were full of life in every direction, and Ganondorf quietly marvelled at its richness.

All of this, for the sport of one family?

(This piece of writing is old enough that I was still using the now-defunct “two spaces after a period” rule, wow. Also, hello there, years-old misspelling. :/)

They kept to a walking pace for an hour or two, hushed but alert. The dogs picked up a scent, the party wheeling around to follow after them. Ganondorf rode alongside King Daphnes. The man’s eyes were alight as he looked down the deer trail ahead of the dogs; a small smile of anticipation grew on his face. "They have something, eh?” he said, in a whisper. “What did I tell you!”

The lead dog threw its head back, baying. It launched itself forward and the rest of the pack followed suit, tails held high like flags.

An enormous boar, all sinewy muscle and bristled hide, burst from a nearby thicket and was driven ahead of them.

“Aha!" The king spurred his horse to a gallop, the rest of the party just behind. Ganondorf quickly found himself bringing up the rear.

The stallion seemed to find this as unacceptable as he did, for without his urging it picked up speed, long strides eating up the ground until the pair were level with the king once more.

(This bit started with the rest of the hunting party giving G-dawg mad shit for insisting on riding his stallion instead of a more appropriate horse, so I had to vindicate him, of course.)

Ganondorf’s eyes were now fixed on the boar. He crouched low over the stallion’s neck, free hand fisted in the tangles of its mane. They pulled ahead to run with the dogs, until even the dogs were falling behind them.

"Stay with it!" The king’s bellow carried over the thunder of the stallion’s hooves. "Keep running it!”

They ran. The boar was fast and nimble, leading a chase through dense copses and over fast-flowing streams. The world fell away until all that remained was the path they weaved through the trees, the rolling strength of the horse beneath him, the forest rushing by in a blur of green and loamy brown, and the boar.

Ganondorf laughed like a child, his heart light for first time since he’d come to this impossibly green land.

The chase ended when the boar made to leap over a fallen log and could not clear it, tumbling end over end. The beast scrambled to its hooves, brandishing its long tusks. It had reached the point of exhaustion, steam rising from its hide, muscles quivering with exertion. It could run no longer.

Ganondorf held it at bay, keeping the point of his spear trained on it. He did not wish to incite it to charge and risk his horse. He simply looked at it, watching the boar watch him with wide, red eyes. Foam gathered at its mouth, and he wondered whether it would die where it stood, if its heart had burst in its chest.

The baying of the dogs was not far off. The hunters were closing in.

(Still a little puffed up over the juxtaposition of hunting being legitimately thrilling but cruel. Catch my bro getting swept up in the excitement.)

“Excellent work!" Daphnes was at the head of the party, as he had been to start. "Oh, well done, man!”

As the dogs circled, barking and snapping, the boar stood its ground, head lowered. It made a few feints at the dogs foolish enough to attack, but as the hunters closed in it had less and less room to manoeuvre. Ganondorf could see it rallying for a final effort, weariness flowing into terror and rage.

It roared, lunging, scattering the dogs. Blood streaked its tusks. A horse reared when its leg was cut by sharp hooves. For a moment, it looked to Ganondorf as though it might break away again and escape.

In one practiced motion, Daphnes leapt from his horse and sunk his spear deep into the boar’s side.

Ganondorf’s racing heart froze. Pain keener than any he had ever felt lanced through him, choking him on a silent cry. He clutched at his chest, groping for the spear-head that wasn’t there. His own spear fell from numb fingers to the forest floor. Terror and agony, all-encompassing, swept over him in a crushing wave.

None of the other hunters noticed his distress. All eyes were locked on their king’s struggle with the beast. The boar screamed, running against the spear as if it would happily run the length of it to reach Daphnes with its final breath. The cross-tree of the spear and the strength of the man wielding it kept the boar’s tusks far from its target, however, and for every drop of blood that spilled from its side a portion of its strength bled away with it.

After what felt far too long, the boar collapsed. It’s screams had faded to rattling breaths, and when Daphnes stepped forward, knife drawn, it did not resist.

It was on Ganondorf that its red eyes rested when its throat was cut, in some mute accusation or seeking solace, he could not say. The pain in his chest receded when the final gout of blood ran out onto the dark earth. By the time Daphnes stood from his task, wiping his hands and blade clean on a rag, Ganondorf might have believed that the pain had been a trick of his imagination.

(This thing with the dead boar was meant to keep coming up in small ways throughout the rest of the vignettes as a harbinger of G-dawg’s ultimate failure and doom along with being an illustration of how he twists and suppresses himself for the sake of pleasing Daphnes, but of course it’ll probably never happen now since I’m five years out. I really did like this idea, though, and this scene was super fun to write. Except for now I’ve noticed another old typo. T_T)

21. The fic that got away? Lots; I actually have a horrible track record for finishing long fics. The one I’m most bummed out by, that I still think of from time to time, was actually a fill for the old Transformers Anonymous Kink Meme on LJ. It was Animated-verse pre-war Ratchet/Ultra Magnus with a detour into Ratchet/Megatron. I was about two thirds of the way done when something happened in the community that I can’t recall anymore derailed me, and I never ended up finishing it. Sometimes I think about scraping it off the meme to at least archive what I had done on Ao3 or something, but I probably won’t lol. It would take forever to track it down since this was back in like, 2012.

6 notes · View notes

demyrie · 7 years ago

Text

On Comment Culture (fandom/fanfic/AO3/I’m an old)

It’s so fascinating to see the change in comment culture in fandom and the different stigmas or expectations associated with responding to comments over the years. In this essay? In this essay.

(Disclaimer: obviously creators and platforms had different subcultures of communication as well as social norms -- this is my experience and could help inform others of my ilk why some stuff is confusing them!)

Back in My Day! (Early Ots)

On FF.net, we responded to comments in the Notes but it was a hot mess. ohhhhh what a mess, shit, we had it pulled up in two different web browsers and were copy-pasting complicated screen names and ... wow. It was peak shout-out culture, keyboard smashing, and it was a thrill to see your s/n and get a WHATS UP OMG THANKS ^_^ ^_^ XD XD LOLZ in the Notes section. Wow. WowOmgLOL!!11111

Though I missed the boat on that platform, I know on LiveJournal it was a bit more back and forth because of the blog/thread structure and a hearty “thanks!” was always appreciated, and it was definitely a good way to find friends with common interests, but it was all super happenstance and unstructured. Just folks havin’ fun with few expectations.

Between Now and Then (and Including Then)

Look, fandom olds back me up on this. Responses were nice, but you still DIDN’T want to be the person who responded to every single comment because it showed ego -- you were obviously trolling your own page and leaping thirstily at every little keyboard smash, just wanting attention etc etc and you had to like ... chill. Author responses to big, overwhelming comments were appreciated but by no means expected.

Authors who responded to every single comment were childish and cared more about the attention than anything, and/or were wrongfully inflating their comment counts (which is commonly seen as a more "accurate" rating of a fics quality than likes). That kind of cult popularity status, and the diva creators, became tiring really quickly because this was about STORIES damnit. Give me your STORY stop making this about YOU and clogging up the A/N with nonsense responses longer than the actual CHAPTER! AHHHH! (Fandom olds back me up on this? Or maybe just ... old Virgos...?)

Now

As a fandom old reintroduced to the fanfic environ a year ago, I realized there’s a comment/discussion culture in AO3 where responses to comments are more or less expected and discussion is super common, where it’s never been before.

We never had the “facilities” for back-and-forth discussion on most fanfic servers (lj excepted) and so, as a fandom old, I get perturbed when I see a “[AO3] Response to your comment!” in my inbox because I’m scratching my head like ... that was for you. I made those words and gave them to you because I loved your writing. Why are you saying something back???? Did I say something wrong??? Why would you take the time to ...???? ***CONSTERNATION****

99% of the time it’s literally just people being jubilant and appreciating my appreciation, and of course I get really jazzed whenever 1) a personal friend yells back at me over their fic because then we’re just fuckin’ stanning in public or 2) a writer I really admire waves at me, but it still throws me for a loop because the expectations are just so different now. It’s more like a chat room than an "altruistic" (right word?) review based solely on the content/enjoyment of the fic, where people actively expect and then become disappointed or feel jilted when they don’t receive personal feedback from the creator. It seems to be a strong enough social expectation that, when unmet, it may determine whether the person comments in the future. So, like, to me, that is wild, but I’ve also been absent for about 7 years so ... life (fandom) finds a way, right?

With that culture shift in mind, I wanna say that I can’t respond to comments pretty much ... ever now, and for a variety of reasons :(

Mostly, it’s time and energy, because I’m SO GODDAMN BLESSED and have so many sweet folks reading my BNHA dad trash and OH I’m so lucky but also, wow time management and stress and Not Very Adult but Try So Hard OK. It’s definitely fun to play that way, and interact, but it takes a staggering amount of energy over time and quickly becomes an unmet expectation in my mind that triggers my anxiety like Boy Howdy when I’m already juggling stuff. Which in turn affects my ability to write, which in turn affects my ability to participate in fandom, which in turn ... [that whistling noise that accompanies Warner Bros. characters falling off a cliff]

So! Just because I don’t respond directly to your comments doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate your appreciation, young fanfic folks!

I understand that we’re speaking different languages sometimes. I was not part of your culture and i don’t have the resources to assimilate seamlessly, but I do hope you enjoy my work in your own way! Go for it! Read and then fap, read and do the dishes, talk about it to your friends or just smile and log off and go to sleep! Fandom, for me, is about enjoying things, so enjoy enjoy enjoy <3

That’s why we do this, after all. We tell stories that we want to see and delight in others delighting, and for those who are inclined, comments are always SO inspiring to your fandom creators -- long essays, keyboard smashing, all of the above <3 <3 They are crack. They are the most likely chemical reagent that will lead to a product of More (excited) Content. They help us feel appreciated for the work that we do, they help us feel motivated to continue to do that same work, and they make us scream real loud, and we love you for even the weirdest, 3am, redbull rant ... even if, per expectations, we don’t get to answer all of them.

Thank you for reading, thank you for commenting, thank you for fanning with me!!! I love writing BDSM dads and have had no fewer than 1.3M comments of people spilling their hearts to me about their personal experiences in a way that makes me ugly sob and just feel so crushingly grateful???

So thank you. I’m so happy in this fandom and appreciate you all so much! So!!! THANK YOU <3

I dearly hope you and I cross in a tumblr or twitter barrage someday and I get to personally thank you for reading and/or commenting, but for now, take this utterly accurate depiction of my love for you (you’re the one biting my face, sorry to @ you but it’s true):

243 notes · View notes

ivegoneawayinsidemyhead · 7 years ago

Text

Fandom Crescendo: I’ve Come to Talk With You Again

As part of @scribblecat27 ‘s terrific Fandom Crescendo celebration in the lead-up to the series finale, I’m "re-releasing” my first ever posted OUAT fic (as it looks like I’m probably not going to have time to finish any more of my oneshots before the finale).

Be sure to check out the OUAT Fandom Crescendo tag if you haven’t already - I’m really enjoying reading through some of the fics I missed the first time around!

Title: I’ve Come to Talk With You Again

Rating: PG-13

Wordcount: ~2800

Relationships/Characters: Killian/Emma (background), Killian & David friendship, Snow White, Regina

Summary: Killian struggles to hold off the darkness long enough to find the others. Canon-divergent episode tag/fix-it for 5x08 ‘Birth’.

A/N: Thanks to stubble-sandwich for the beta read-through!

AO3 | LJ | ff.net

He didn't know why, but his first instinct upon leaving the house was to find the prince.

The night air was cool against his face, offering a welcome sting against the cloudiness that threatened to overwhelm his mind. The streets themselves were deserted. He supposed that only made sense - fresh off yet another curse, with a new Dark One roaming the town, the people of Storybrooke were bound to be cautious.

Two Dark Ones, he corrected himself bitterly.

It still didn't seem real, although his restored memories from Camelot were sharp and vivid. How could he have failed to notice that he'd become the very thing he hated most - the demon he'd spent centuries chasing after?

His brisk footsteps echoed on the empty street, eager as he was to put some distance between himself and the house.

After ensuring Zelena had left - for good, this time - he'd quickly taken his leave as well, ignoring Emma's attempts to call him back to her side. His stomach soured at the memory of her cool, measured voice disclosing her plan to rid them both of the curse. He hated the witch as much as anyone else, but he wasn't about to let Emma darken her soul further by killing her to save him.

Of course, that didn't mean that she couldn't find someone else to put the darkness in. He picked up his pace.

His hand brushed over Excalibur's pommel as he walked, still disturbed by the strange attachment he felt toward the blade. He'd sensed something was off ever since he'd caught sight of the padlocked door in Emma's home - their home, it was supposed to be their home - but he'd never expected...

Who would expect to find out that they're secretly a monster?

He shook his head, his hair falling in front of his eyes. It mattered little now. The important thing was to find David and inform him of what he'd learned.

'Yes, hurry up and tell everyone you're the embodiment of dark magic. They were all ready to attack Emma for her actions as the Dark One, I'm sure they'll be more than understanding when they learn what you've done.'

Killian stumbled before regaining his footing. The voice in his head was barely a whisper, but he'd know it anywhere.

"I'm not listening to you. Not again," he hissed, clenching his fist. Still, he couldn't deny the truth of the words, treacherous as they were.

Emma was the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming, Henry's mother, the Saviour, but she had faced mistrust and even scorn as the Dark One. He could hardly expect better treatment, especially once the others learned that he'd already succumbed to the darkness in Camelot. His jaw ticked as he imagined their reactions, the people he'd tried to so hard to prove himself to looking at him like--

'Like a villain?'

He glanced back in the direction of the woods, briefly debating searching out Robin instead. He wasn't especially close to the man, but he'd listened on more than one occasion as Killian vented his feelings of helplessness and frustration in the face of Emma's curse. Robin had his own experience with complicated relationships, and was always willing to lend an ear without judgement. Of everyone in town, Killian knew he wouldn't have to worry about the archer seeing him differently.

But the witch's words floated back to him as he walked. Emma had sped up Zelena's pregnancy and caused her to give birth early. Which meant that in all likelihood, Robin would be with his newborn daughter right now, and even Killian wasn't selfish enough to disrupt that peace simply because he longed for a friendly face.

He grit his teeth, a strange restlessness coming over him, like his skin was stretched too tight. He didn't have time to debate matters - he'd find David, tell him what had happened, and figure things out from there.

His head was beginning to ache. Whatever magic Emma had worked in Camelot had ended with the memory spell, and Killian could feel the darkness creeping into his mind. It was all far too familiar for his liking.

Many things made more sense, now. He'd thought his sleepless nights were merely a result of his worry for Emma, but now that his memories of Camelot were restored, he could recognise the haunted look in his reflection all too well - he'd seen it countless times in Emma's eyes. He'd been so agitated since their return, so impatient, his emotions swinging from one extreme to the next.

Why hadn't he seen the signs? Why hadn't he realised something was wrong?

'Is it so different from how you usually are? Let's face it, you've never been far from the darkness.'

The voice was so quiet he could barely hear it, but it set his teeth on edge.

I'm not bloody listening, he swore, setting his jaw. He'd let the darkness goad him last time, let it ply him with promises of revenge and control. He knew he couldn't fight it for long - not like Emma had - but he was damned well going to last long enough to complete his task.

The town's main street was finally coming into view. He faltered slightly, apprehension gripping him as a trio of familiar voices - two female, one male - sounded from just around the corner. He'd hoped to confront David alone, but it appeared that the Fates were not on his side.

'There's still time to leave, dearie. Use your magic - they'll never know you were here.'

He hated himself for considering it, however briefly. He shook his head, straightening his shoulders. That was the coward's way out.

"We are not going back there half-cocked, Regina." He could just barely make out David's words as he approached. "And I told you before, we're not going to hurt Emma. We don't even know what her plan is!"

Killian steeled himself, rounding the corner of the bakery.

"I do."

Three heads turned to face him, David and Mary Margaret pulling back from what had looked to be a heated confrontation with Regina. The sudden attention made him uneasy, doubt weakening his resolve once more.

David's brow furrowed. "What do you mean, Hook?"

He bristled slightly at how easily the name fell from his lips.

'Why worry about them treating you differently?' the darkness taunted in his ear. 'They never stopped seeing you as the villain.'

Clenching his jaw, Killian did his best to drown out the voice. He didn't have time for hurt feelings.

The others were watching him warily, and it occurred to Killian that he must make quite the sight, his eyes wild and haunted, his hand clenching and unclenching by his side.

Regina was the first to recover, her familiar regal countenance settling effortlessly on her shoulders as she straightened, eyeing him with irritation.

"What now? Let me guess, you have more brilliant ideas about how this is all about you," she said, rolling her eyes. The dismissal wasn't as a surprise; Regina had always preferred masking her uneasiness with annoyance. "I've told you before, the Dark One is just playing with you."

Something like a laugh bubbled up and caught in his throat, making it hard to breath. If she only knew how right she was.

"I know what happened in Camelot."

If he'd been looking for magic words to immediately seize their attention, he'd found them. All three royals crowded him eagerly.

"You do? What?" David urged, a familiar desperation in his eyes. He hated being in the dark as much as Killian did.

Mary Margaret's eyes, meanwhile, were alight with hope for the first time since they'd returned to Storybrooke. His stomach churned, knowing her optimism was soon to be for naught.

"Do you know how to find Merlin? Can he help us?"

"We already found Merlin..." he faltered again, the memory of holding a beating heart washing over him. A wave of self-loathing threatened to drown him, the darkness cackling at the disgust he felt for his actions. He swallowed, forcing himself to speak again. "He told us that Emma needed to unite Excalibur with the dagger in order to pull the darkness out of her."

Emma's parents exchanged a glance, smiles threatening to tug at their lips at the prospect of a plan to save their daughter. Regina appeared far less hopeful, her eyes narrowing at his monotone delivery.

"So, why didn't we do that?" she asked, crossing her arms, pragmatic as ever.

Killian's hand clenched again. He glanced down at his feet. "I sustained a cut from Excalibur in our fight with Arthur. We thought it was healed, but it opened again when Emma tried to unite the blades. Merlin said that an injury from Excalibur could not be repaired. It was a mortal wound."

All three of them straightened at his admission, eyeing him with a mixture of concern and confusion. He could tell they were searching for signs of his injury, wondering how he'd managed to save himself.

'They think you did something,' the darkness hissed in his ear, making him shudder. 'Even now, they think you've betrayed them.'

He pushed the voice away with a grimace. His ears were buzzing with faint whispers - too many to decipher - his shoulders hunching as he attempted to block it out. He was running out of time.

He forced himself to meet their eyes.

"I was dying, but Emma—" he cut off, the betrayal still too fresh. He didn't want to blame her for what she'd done, but he'd begged her not to curse him like this, and she'd ignored his wishes. The darkness swelled as his anger and frustration threatened to take hold, making his blood sing.

He forced his feelings down, his jaw twitching with the effort, and he knew he wouldn't be able to keep fighting for much longer.

"She tethered me to Excalibur," he ground out, struggling to keep his voice even.

Regina's eyes immediately widened with understanding, though it was obvious that the others had failed to appreciate the implications.

"That would make you..." she trailed off, subtly widening her stance, preparing for an attack. Killian felt a bizarre sliver of relief at her reaction. If anyone could cut past emotions and see clearly to the problem at hand, it was Regina. She wouldn't let quibbling over moral implications get in the way of doing what needed to be done.

"A Dark One," he spat, an ashy taste in his mouth. Excalibur hummed against his side.

He heard a gasp, Mary Margaret's hand coming up to cover her mouth.

"Wait, there are two Dark Ones now?" David asked, placing a hand on his wife's shoulder. "How does that work?"

The story suddenly felt too long to explain, so many of the memories still painful and raw. But he needed to finish what he'd started.

"All that matters is that Emma had a plan to remove the darkness from both of us. She kidnapped Zelena, intending to run her through with Excalibur, letting her take on all of the darkness. Zelena escaped, but I don't know what Emma's planning next, and the darkness..."

He trailed off, his head pounding. "It's only a matter of time before the curse takes me over as well."

Mary Margaret shook her head, frowning. "What about Merlin? Isn't there something he can do?"

Killian swallowed again, his throat as rough as sandpaper. "Merlin's dead. I killed him."

Their eyes widened, David moving his hand to his wife's arm, shifting into a more protective stance. Regina subtly turned her palm toward him - preparing, he suspected, to summon a fireball if it proved necessary.

The darkness was too loud now, the voices in his ears threatening to drown out the world around him. He longed to explain himself, but his time had run short.

"The blade is the only thing that can stop either of us now."

He grasped the hilt, pulling the sword free from his belt. The others stepped back warily.

He flipped the blade around, holding the handle out to Regina. She frowned.

"You're turning over the only weapon that can kill you?" Her eyes narrowed, her voice betraying her skepticism.

His grip tightened, his knuckles flaring white against the hilt even as he forced himself to loosen his hold once more.

"I am far less equipped to fight the darkness than Emma was," he retorted. "Whatever she's planning now, I guarantee the darkness has a far worse plan for me. The last thing I want is to end up its pawn."

Cautiously, she took the sword from him, the blade awkward and heavy in her hands. She was more adept at wielding spells than weaponry.

He dropped his arm to his side, his fingers twitching as he tried to ignore the instinct to snatch the blade back. Seeing it in the hands of another made his skin crawl, knowing firsthand what it could do. He couldn't help feeling as though he was handing them the reins to his free will, a magical leash and collar to bring him to heel if they so chose.

Maybe that's for the best, he thought, remembering the sensation of brushing bits of crushed heart from his palm like it was nothing more than fireplace ash.

David watched the exchange with a frown, shaking his head in disbelief.

"You're just giving up?" The disappointment in his voice brought back memories of Neverland, of the multitude of ways he had made it clear that he didn't think Killian good enough. Things had improved between them considerably since then, but his expression now made Killian wonder if he was rethinking his assessment.

'Can you blame him?' the darkness cackled, the clearest it'd sounded yet. He fought the instinct to look behind him for the pair of beady eyes he felt digging into the back of his head.

"I'm merely being practical. Think of it as a back-up plan," he defended, meeting David's indignant expression as steadily as he could. "Perhaps, with the sword, you can figure out another way to remove the darkness. If not..."

He shot a significant look at Regina, her brow creasing slightly as she tried to follow his meaning. A moment later, her eyes widened slightly before softening in realization.

Emma's plan was a good one - collecting the darkness in one person and using Excalibur to vanquish it was likely to work. The problem was who to host the darkness in. He'd fight the curse with everything he had, but if it came down to it, it wouldn't be Emma on the receiving end of that blade.

Regina pursed her lips, her eyes suspiciously bright. After a pause, she nodded her understanding.

Killian released the breath he'd been holding, feeling a small weight lift from his shoulders.

'It won't be enough to beat me, dearie.' He stepped back abruptly, repressing a shudder.

"You're leaving?" Mary Margaret asked in concern, her arms wrapped around that of her prince.

He dropped his gaze, his control starting to slip. "I need to get away from here," he ground out, feeling nauseous. "The further, the better."

David moved as if to protest, but he'd had enough. He raised his hand on instinct, disappearing in a cloud of red smoke. When the smoke cleared, he was standing in the woods, alone in every direction. He staggered, trying to ignore the part of him that reveled at the use of his magic.

No, not mine, he reminded himself. The magic is part of the darkness. It's not who you are.

His veins hummed with power, the whispers in his mind threatening to drive him mad. He pressed his palm against his ear, his fingers clawing at his skull. Enough!

The Crocodile watched his struggle with obvious glee, his smile wide and vicious.

"There's no point in fighting, dearie," he giggled, his eyes dancing. "We both know there's no stopping the darkness once it's taken hold."

Killian's head ached, the darkness pressing, pushing up against the barriers he struggled to maintain.

"They'll find a way," he swore, wincing as his ears buzzed with whispers. They'll stop this. They have to, he thought desperately. He shut his eyes.

The Dark One opened them.

The end.

#ouat fandom crescendo #ouat ff #once upon a time #cs ff #captain swan #goneaway:ouat #goneaway:fic

9 notes · View notes

blaineandsamevanderson · 7 years ago

Text

Title: Winnamon Buns Chapter 2

By: @blaineandsamevanderson (SageK on ff.net, kaitlia777 on LJ and AO3)

Fandom: Supergirl

Rating: PG

Summary: Winn Schott Jr. owns a bakery called Winnamon Buns (named for a comment made by his buddy Mon-El the first time he tried Winn’s Cinnamon Buns). Kara Danvers is a customer he has a crush on…and, unbeknownst to him, she returns the feelings. Only Kara thinks WInn and Mon-El are a couple and Winn thinks Kara and Jimmy are….

“Wow, I guess this place must be good,” Alex mused, noting the lines of customers crowding the small bakery. It was a cute little shop and the small rainbow sticker in the corner of the front window had been welcoming.

Beside her, Maggie chuckled. “Well, school just let out. I think there are a lot of kids just looking for their sugar/caffeine fix.”

True enough. There was definitely a pack of high school aged girls clustered around the counter, vying for the attention of the tall model standard barista. At the other end of the counter, a nice looking shorter man (Winn, according to Kara) was handling the rest of the customers.

Unsure of the protocol for this, they waited in line until they reached the front. Fortunately, some of the crowd had left by then. “Hi, I’m Alex and this is my fiancee, Maggie. We’re here for a cake consultation.”

Winn’s blue eyes brightened and he gave them a broad grin. “Hi...and congratulations! Of course, we can have a seat at one of the tables, chat a bit about what sort of cake you see for your big day.”

As he spoke, a young teen emerged from the back, tying an apron around his waist. “Carter, just in time, Man. You hold things down here and keep an eye on Mon-El while I help these nice folks, okay?” The boy nodded in response and Winn snagged a towel to wipe his hands as he addressed Alex again, “Can I get either of you anything to drink?”

Minutes later, they were settled at a small table by the windows, coffees and a small plate of thumbprint cookies between them.

“My sister can’t say enough good things about this place,” Alex mentioned as Winn pulled out a small tablet. “Kara comes in every day.”

Interestingly enough, a faint blush crept up the young man’s face. “Oh, you’re Kara’s sister? She’s great. Just...super.”

Aw, he was an awkward puppy.

“This cookie is incredible,” Maggie retorted and Alex noted that two had already disappeared from the plate.

Another good sign.

“Thanks,” Winn said brightly, tapping at his tablet. “So, did you have any ideas about flavors you’re interested in or would you like to go over all the options?”

“That’s a good plan,” Winn said with a genial smile. “Honestly, a lot of people come in with their hearts set on a particular cake and still want to go through the list, see the portfolio. When’s the big day?”

“June 23rd,” Maggie informed him promptly. “Is that enough time for a cake? Those wedding shows on TV all make it seem like plans are made a year in advance or last minute.”

“You’re fine,” he chuckled. “That’s more than enough lead time and I’ve got no other bookings that day. Is the venue local?”

Alex nodded. “We’re having the wedding and reception at the public gardens.” It was a popular spot for weddings from May to October and had designated areas for such things.

“Beautiful place,” the baker enthused. “I’ve faltered there before, nice set up. So...let’s talk cake. Anyone have a favorite?”

“Tiramisu?” Maggie asked hopefully and Alex rolled her eyes fondly.

“For a wedding cake?” She said in amusement. “I always think vanilla when I think of a big wedding cake.”

“There are lots of ways to go, none of them wrong,” Winn offered. “You could have a tiramisu tier.”

That perked Maggie up. “Go on.”

“Not all the tiers need to be the same flavor,” he said and Alex was pretty sure she’d hknown that. Why did planning a wedding make things like that just fly out of her brain? “So, if you wanted a vanilla base, a Tiramisu s middle and an espresso top, that would work...or any combination really. It’s your day.”

Alex let her eyes wander down the menu options. “A lot of this looks good.”

He grinned. “You know, we’re doing a tasting event here on Friday evening. If you want to stop by, you can sample a lot of options,” Winn offered. “It’s more of a social event, I think Kara and James are coming. Of course, if you’d rather a more private sitting we can arrange…”

“We’ll be here Friday!”

Who would put off trying cake?

Only a ½ hour into the cake tasting and Winn was ready to declare the event a success. He’d been hoping to bring in some new customers (and let his regulars taste some less common flavors) and he’d seen a flood of new faces. They’d booked several birthday cakes and had 4 new bridal consults.

He was glad he’d baked more than he’d anticipated serving.

“I like this one.”

He’d just set down a tray of assorted lime cakes with coconut buttercream frosting and pear ca=new with honey buttercream when Alex Danvers popped up at his elbow, thrusting a small plate (and a half eaten sample) at him.

“Alex!” Kara chided. “Don’t just jump at him like that.

The elder Danvers was unapologetic. “I wanted to tell him before he disappeared or got grabbed by someone else.

Tablet in hand, Winn noted, “So...Vanilla bean cake with a layer of berries and cream, topped with vanilla buttercream?”

“I still want the tiramisu tier but if the bottom and top are that, I’m happy,” Maggie agreed before snagging a Banana/Pineapple sample.

“Three tiers, the design we talked about and now we’ve got flavors...Ladies, you have a cake!” He said, then his eyes ticked to the side and he sighed. “Excuse me...Carter’s along over there, gotta go find Mon-El.”

He’d rather stay and chat with Kara, but this was his business. “Where’s Mon-El?” Winn asked as he slipped behind the table, grateful to see the sample trays weren’t completely empty.

“He went out back to get more cakes, but Imra went to help, so….,” Carter trailed off, shrugging and wrinkling his nose.

Winn groaned. “I’ll be back.”

Thankfully the wayward doh were only making out and not doing anything that violated health codes in his kitchen and they all quickly emerged baring fresh trays of treats.

“Do you cater for companies,” a stunning brunette asked, nibbling on a chocolate cake with cappuccino buttercream. “I would so put in a standing order for a dozen of these for the CatCo Megan department every morning.”

“I told you this place is great,” James said, appearing and sliding an arm around the woman’s waist. “Lucy, meet Winn. Winn, my girlfriend, Lucy Lane.”

While Winn was startled silent, Lucy laughed. “I should be mad at you for enabling this one’s sweet tooth...but wow, these are incredible.”

“I’m glad you’re enjoying everything,” Winn said, still recovering from the fact that Mon-El had been right about James having a non-Kara girlfriend. “And sure, we could have an order ready for pick up each morning. I assume you’re wanting cupcakes and not a dozen whole cakes?”

Lucy laughed prettily. “Sorry. I was actually wondering about the potato doughnuts.” She pointed to a slightly less ravaged tray. “I love the density. Most doughnuts feel like empty calories. Those seem like they’re actually filling.”

They chatted about the doughnuts for a while before he was drawn off by another new customer.

***

By the end of the night, most of the crowd had dissipated. Winn, Mon-El and even Carter were still taking down a few final orders and she was Winn sigh with relief when he finally tucked his tablet away.

“Tonight was a hit!” She said and Winn gave her a bright smile.

“Oh yeah, we’re gonna be busy,” he said, but Kara could hear the pleasure in his voice. “Hey, thanks for referring your sister.”

Kara glanced over to where Alex and Maggie were chatting with James and Lucy over a mostly empty tray of pecan cakes. “I wouldn’t be surprised if they send their co-workers by. They’re both in law enforcement.”

Winn chuckled. “I do make a killer doughnut.”

A kitchen towel landed on his head as Mon-El teased, “Your jokes are terrible!”

The pretty brunette with his slapped Mon-El’s arm as Winn shrugged off the towel. “Keep him in line, Imra!” He said easily and earned a salute from the woman as the pair disappeared into the kitchen. “You know, I think he’s finally met his match.”

His statement made Kara frown in confusion. “What do you mean?”

Chucking a thumb toward the back, Winn said, “I kinda though he’d never settle down, but Imra seems up to take him on.”

After a moment Kara blinked. “Oh! Oh my gosh, I thought you two were together!”

Immediately, she clapped a hand over her mouth, embarrassed that she’d said anything, but Winn merely chuckled. “Nah...a lot of people assume that for some reason. He’s a ladies man and me...well, I’m better with cakes than flirting.”

“I know,” Kara agreed, then shook her head. “I mean, flirting is hard. I always say the wrong thing or get called away for work.”

He nodded. “Plus a lot of dating happens at night and I get up very early so...my idea of a wild night is Chinese, Netflix and early bed.”

“Lunch dates get a bad rap,” she mused. “Lunch is great. Or brunch, cuz then you have the option of breakfast or lunch.”

“Kara...and you can say no, of course, but...would you like to have lunch some time?” Winn asked, tongue poking out to wet his lower lip nervously.

A broad smile spread across Kara’s face as she nodded. “Yeah. I’d like that, Winn. I’d like that a lot.”

****

Across the room, James smiled and pulled out his phone, sending a text to Mon-El.

He asked her.

James was the only one who understood when a loud cry of ,” Whooo, finally!” Echoed from the kitchen.

#winnara #fanfiction #karwinn #fic

15 notes · View notes

maychorian · 7 years ago

Note

Is Livejournal still an active platform? I think when I first got into fandom LJ was more of a place for kink memes (not necessarily based in erotic content or ships) than just a fanfic scene. FF. net was more popular at the time. As much as I feel Ao3 is superior to FF, I think it had its bonuses. I appreciated being able to PM other users and the forums, features Ao3 doesn't have. What were some bonuses to LJ, if you don't mind my asking?

I don’t think LJ is active much anymore, no. Everyone once in a while I’ll go check out my Friends page to see if anyone is still posting there, and there are a few, but not a lot. Policies killed the fandom community on that site, and it’s really sad. Free speech is important, y’all. On the other hand, those policies are probably why AO3 exists, and that’s a good thing.

LJ was a BIG upgrade from FF.net, that was for sure. It wasn’t specifically made for fanfic, so you had to have some rudimentary HTML knowledge to put links to your chapters, and also had to make your own table of contents (here’s mine), or at least tag your posts in a way so that people could find your fanfiction if they wanted to. It had a private message function, yes, as well as a Friends page, which was basically a dashboard (without a reblog function) where you could scroll through and view all of the posts made by the people you had added to your friendslist. You also had the option of making your posts private, so only friends could see them, and also make friends groups WITHIN your friendslist so only THOSE particular people could see. For instance, I had a lot of friends, because I tended to friend back anyone who friended me so they could see my private posts for the rare things that I wanted to hide from the world but was okay with fellow fans seeing. I made smaller friends groups to view fellow writers, so I could see their stuff when they posted it, and another smaller group for people who I knew would be willing to beta my work, so I could send out a request for a beta if I needed it without cluttering up the Friends page of everyone who had added me, and an even smaller group for friends that I trusted with deep personal secrets for when I really, really needed to vent. Those kinds of posts were called “friends locked” or “flocked” for short. When I was obsessed with SPN and deep in that fandom, I checked my Friends page multiple times a day. I keep my following list on tumblr quite small because I don’t have the time to read hundreds and hundreds of posts, and tumblr doesn’t have the function to narrow down who you see on your dashboard.

LJ also had the ability to make communities, where multiple users could post on the same blog, and we had fic communities for every permutation of fandom under the sun. Big ones for all SPN fic (those were incredibly active), ones just for gen, ones for hurt/comfort and whump, ones for crossovers, specific ones for each pairing… Whenever I made a post with a fic, I had a list of about five communities that I would cross-post to, basically with a header and a link to the full post. And the fic finder community, of course, which I think was the most valuable of all, where someone could make a post asking for a specific idea they wanted to read and everyone else could comment with fics they knew that fit or almost fit that desire. Or if you had read a fic a long time ago and couldn’t remember the name or title, you could describe it as best you could on the fic finder community, and chances were someone would know what you were talking about. A lot of my fics got mentioned on fic finder communities multiple times, whenever someone asked for deaged fics, haha.

The biggest advantage of LJ, though, and I think the reason it became THE place for fanfiction for a while, was the nested commenting. AO3 has the same kind of comment system now, where one person starts a thread, and then the author can respond, and they can go back and forth. If the thread gets too long it will get shortened so those going through the comments don’t have see every single comment written on the entire story, just the first ones. This was a huge upgrade from FF.net, which didn’t even allow replies to reviews for a long time. If you wanted to respond to someone’s review, you had to PM them directly and tell them. And your replies didn’t show on the review page, and the reviewer couldn’t write back. Nesting comments on LJ changed all that. Now people could have entire long, involved discussions in the comments of any post, any fic. And people did. It wasn’t always just the author and a single commenter having a conversation, either. Sometimes other people joined in, and we’d have long squeefests and share headcanons (though that word didn’t enter fandom vernacular until tumblr) and talk about the show or whatever we were writing about. It was a great place for making friends and sparking ideas.

AO3 did well in bringing that commenting system over to the archive, but it doesn’t usually get used the same way it did on LJ. I think it’s because AO3 is a place specifically meant for storing fic, not necessarily a social media service, so there’s not as much emphasis on making friends and forming personal relationships. Sure, you can subscribe to people and follow their work and make bookmarks, but there’s no Friends list or anything like that. It’s just a different thing. And since tumblr doesn’t have nesting comments, there’s not the option to have those sort of conversations here, either. I mean, you sort of can, by reblogging replies and having discussions in posts, but it’s awkward and it gets reposted to your dashboard every time, and it gets really annoying to have to scroll the bottom every time.

Messaging on tumblr is a little better, but it’s a chat with just one person. You can’t have multiple people in a direct message, and even with those it can be very hard to scroll back and find earlier conversations. This why I think Discord is such a great addition to the current fandom life. You can have conversations with multiple people about anything you want. It’s more freeform, since you’re not responding to a post in particular, but it still works well for building relationships and sharing headcanons and ideas.

Tumblr is not without its advantages. The reblog function means that something good, that grabs attention, can spread around the fandom very quickly. But it’s definitely much better for art than fic, and that’s mostly because of the way it’s designed. It’s an art-sharing service with a half-assed messaging service in the sidebar, not a social media site the way LJ was. It’s for artists to make art and other people to follow them and occasionally ask questions, so it really encourages a BNF mentality and jockeying for position rather than making a circle of friends and developing them. Fandom has found ways to socialize anyway, because life finds a way, but it’s not like LJ, not at all. Sometimes I really want LJ back, to be honest, but that ship has sailed. There was an attempt with Dreamwidth, but for some reason most people just moved their fandom activity to tumblr instead, possibly because the existence of LJ and tumblr overlapped and many people who used LJ already had a tumblr when LJ collapsed. That was how it worked with me, anyway. The novelty of tumblr probably encouraged the movement here, as well. People love the new.

I think most likely what will happen in the future is tumblr will screw the pooch in a major way and fandom will migrate off it, just like we did from the old webrings to ff.net, then to LJ, then to here. Probably some savvy fans will make a social media site actually MEANT for fandom, like, perhaps, pillowfort.io, which looks absolutely fantastic, just needs some bugs worked out and more people using it. That’s what happened with fic archives: fans got sick of all the problems with FF.net and LJ and made AO3, and it’s great. I’m looking forward to getting off this site, honestly. Let the migration come. I just hope all of you come with me.

#askbox #fandom #Anonymous

14 notes · View notes

noctemusfic · 16 years ago

Text

☵ Supply Run

A Supernatural AU Fan Fiction by Noctemus (SilviHenna). Can also be read: @AO3

Characters/Pairing: Ruby, Ruby/Sam Winchester Rating: PG Disclaimer: I do not own the characters portrayed herein. This is for fan enjoyment only and no profit gained nor sought. Notes:

I've never answered a prompt before. I'm beginning to realize why. I suck at those. Even to though there were really no hard guidelines to go by on these prompts it still...*shakes head*

This ficlett is unbeaten so any mistakes are of course mine. It did get a once over by my sister for the flow, though. I guess you could say this is an answer to the prompt #1 - Bandages at supportsamruby LJ community though a very vague one I would assume.

*originally posted in FF.net back in '09*

Summary: Kind of an answer to the prompt at the lj community supportsamruby.

☵ Supply Run - 1/1

☳ ☼ ☳

Surprisingly enough there are few things Ruby hates more than the smell of disinfectant.

It's odd. She would think that after everything she'd have other stronger hang-ups like the smell of sulfur and human filth, but no.

Then again, they say familiarity breeds contempt, and hellfire is the one smell she knows above all others. Her reaction to it is different than the one she has against disinfectant, it's visceral and goes to the core of what she is, while any kind of disinfectant, she's not particularly picky what kind, turns her borrowed stomach, a very human reaction.

You might escape Hell, although in her darkest moments Ruby doubts she ever made it out. The things she's seen, the things she's experienced while being topside makes her fear that this could all be another mind game of Lilith, Lucifer knows she's fallen for more than one, and after 80.000 years you're bound to run out of things to do.

There is precious little she hasn't done or hasn't been done to her. And still, there is more humanity in her than she's ever seen in any other demon. There is surely more than in any angel.

She thinks angels are worse than demons and the more they are forced to interact with the 'things' Ruby can see the thought begin to mirror on Sam's face. She still doesn't know what to think of that.

Hell should be all she knows of after all this time yet still Ruby maintains her independence. She's a demon but hell isn't her home, if it's anywhere it's by Sam's side or, you know, behind him.

She doesn't know what makes her so uneasy about the smell of disinfectants. It might be the impersonal stark smell of it, doesn't really matter since all of them turn her borrowed stomach.

The few times she allows the thought to cross her mind she entertains the possibility that it could have something to do with the body she chose to be able to be with Sam. She sometimes imagines the smell of the hospital having permeated into the body and it makes her nose curl. Except… she'd been the same in the blond.

Whatever the cause it makes her shudder whenever she has to go to the pharmacy and sometimes she wishes she'd tell Sam to fuck it and go himself.

Shaking her head she holds her breath and opens the door to the pharmacy. Blinking in the fluorescence light she quickly grabs a basket and locates the aisle with the things she needed to purchase. Fishing out the note with the items scribbled down in Sam's neat handwriting she began dumping the stuff in the hideous red basket.

They'd been running low on the first aid stuff what with Sam's recklessness and always managing to get himself hurt. Flicking her hair behind her shoulder with a toss of her head Ruby bends down and plucks the bandages and adds them to the basket. Making sure she got all the things he'd listed on the note she quickly goes to the counter and pays with the money Sam handed to her before she left.

By the time she leaves the pharmacy she thinks she has enough to tidy them over for at least a couple of more weeks. But then again you never know.

Things can happen that you don't foresee.

Like the couple of demons popping out of the alley and barring her way to safety.

Fuck me, she thinks annoyed, and I without my knife.

End.

#f: supernatural #c: ruby #p: sam x ruby #t: gen fic #by: noctemus

0 notes

anne-hedonia · 8 years ago

Text

Top ten favorite Nine/Rose fics…kinda.

So I’m not sure whether to thank or curse @fleurdeneuf for setting me on this “top ten fics” task. It sent me down the biggest fic-reading rabbit hole I’ve been on in ages (and I’m not actually sure I’m done with it). I decided to focus on Nine/Rose adult, even though I do like a lot of other things. (And I’ve read too much fic in other fandoms to ever narrow down my top ten fics out of *everything* ever.) I revisited fics and authors and favorites lists I had completely forgotten about. I didn’t find everything I remembered loving, and I actually decided not to list many, many, MANY fics (and authors) that I think are stupendous, mostly just because I hadn’t revisited them enough or they hadn’t hung with me like I thought they ought to. Because what I did end up listing were fics I’ve reread repeatedly, stuff that’s left an impression, and two that were really instrumental in forming my ideas of what fic Nine/Rose was about. Still, it is a very imperfect list.

(Also, please excuse the clumsy, ugly links. I don't spend much time on Tumblr so I don't completely know what I'm doing, AND I do everything on my phone, and I think the app has fewer editing options. My thumbs are tired.)

Pulse by Casira

http://www.whofic.com/viewstory.php?sid=2727

This is one of the first Nine/Rose fics I ever read, when I was new and completely besotted with the pairing and desperate for fic that resolved that towering UST. It’s not only stuck with me for years but initially it just broke my damn heart. I have added a coda in my head to change the ending and make things less traumatizing for myself, but that just tells you how much of a punch it packs.

Fevered by HonorH

http://www.whofic.com/viewstory.php?sid=15787

This was another one I read early on and it quickly became one of my go-to fics. Hell, I read this before I’d even seen Jack in an episode so I had to make him up in my head. HonorH gets the two of them dead right.

Five and a Half Hours Later by sap1066

http://www.whofic.com/viewstory.php?sid=10188

I almost listed another fic by sap1066 here–just because EVERYBODY and their Aunt Matilda lists this as a favorite–but ultimately I had to go with it because it’s just. So. Damn. Good. I’ve sought it out and reread it and thought about it so damn much. It very much helps soothe the pain of Nine having regenerated so fast, and I love living in its wonderfully romantic, complex, show-that-could’ve-been where we got so much more time with him.

Doing It by anogete

http://www.whofic.com/viewstory.php?sid=29774

This one is fun as hell. It’s a kind of twist on the alien aphrodisiac thing–more of an “aliens made them do it”– where the Doctor’s been injected with a poison that can only be cured by having sex. Watching he and Rose navigate the way toward the cure is delightful, as is Jack’s fun watching them do so.

Not-So-Forbidden Fruit by threerings

http://www.whofic.com/viewstory.php?sid=26698

This is another one I don’t see recced much, but I love it and think it’s so sexy and playful. Some strange alien fruit at a festival gives Nine and Rose a push in the right direction.

Personal Pronouns by JessaLRynn

http://jlrynnfiction.livejournal.com/40141.htm

Jessa is a legend, of course. SO many of her fics I could have listed. I chose this one because, again, I’ve gone back and reread it so much. I also don’t see it on her Teaspoon or ff.net pages, so maybe fewer people have read this one she posted on LJ.

Torture by 11nine73

https://time-and-chips.livejournal.com/40670.html

Another somewhat off-the-beaten-path choice, and again, we’ve got sexy and playful.

A Lot Can Happen in a Little by takethewords

https://iwantchips.livejournal.com/3721.html

Takethewords writes the most GORGEOUS stuff. I don’t know if she has another pseud outside of LiveJournal, but that’s the only place I ever saw her writing. So, so pretty.

Slipping by amberite

http://www.whofic.com/viewstory.php?sid=7186

In case you’ve ever got a fancy for some fic that deals with the Doctor’s alien-ness, that assumes sex with him wouldn’t be like it is with a human, this is a very interesting take on what that might be like.

Suicide Blonde by Rabid1st

http://archiveofourown.org/works/1150925

This is an epic fic where Ten sends Rose back to help a completely broken Nine. Also with slightly alien sex, it’s ambitious and tense and shows a very satisfying turnaround for our poor Nine.

So that’s what I’ve got. Left out a million deserving fics, but hey, that’s lists for ya. Not tagging anyone – if you’d like to try, do it!

#fic recs #reclist #top ten #nine + rose is love #nine/rose #nine x rose #dw #doctor who #9th doctor #fleurdeneuf #mademedoit

45 notes · View notes