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spencers-renaissance · 3 years

Text

you know that a boy who likes boys is a dead boy

Summary: Spencer's gay. He joins the BAU and befriends the team, but it is 2003. It's a secret he has to keep. He just didn't expect it to be this hard.

Tags: gay!spencer, coming out, hurt/comfort, insecure!spencer, misunderstandings, angst with a happy ending, dad hotch, protective!hotch, protective!derek, childhood trauma TW: one instance of explicit homophobia, but it is referenced a lot, as is Spencer's internalised homophobia at the start of this fic. A shit ton of heteronormativity but tbh that's just canon lol

Pairing: Spencer Reid/OMC, Spencer Reid & Derek Morgan, Spencer Reid & Aaron Hotchner, The BAU Team & Spencer Reid

Word Count: 6k

Masterlist // Read on AO3

Consider this my contribution to pride month 😌 I've waited so long to post it and I'm so glad I'm finally doing it because it's definitely one of my all time favourites <3 Gideon is here somewhere but just like with all my early season fics he's not really part of the plot I combined my moreid and gen taglists bc it was hard to know the audience for this, but just ignore it if you're not interested!

you know that a boy who likes boys is a dead boy, unless he keeps his mouth shut, which is what you didn’t do, because you are weak and hollow and it doesn’t matter anymore. — richard siken, a primer for the small weird loves

Spencer has only told one person in his whole life.

His mother guessed. For as long as he can remember, she’s used gender neutral pronouns when talking about his future partner, read him all the gay literature she could find, promised him that he’s perfect just the way he is.

The trouble is that Spencer only believes her until the first grade, when Ryan Sampson shoves him over in the playground and calls him gay. His mom had only ever used that term in a sweet, loving way, taking care to associate such words with positivity, as long as his dad wasn’t around to hear. When that word comes out of Ryan Sampson’s mouth, it is not said with sweetness and love; it is said with venom, and Spencer learns quickly that his mom is wrong. He is not perfect just the way he is.

And so, he keeps it a secret. When his mom notices him getting uncomfortable at the mention of future partners, she stops bringing it up, though she refuses to give up the diverse education she provides for him outside of school. His dad tells him that one day he’ll be a strapping young man and marry a nice girl in a church, and Spencer nods along. He ignores the way his stomach turns with anxiety at the thought. Ignores the screaming match his parents have that night. Ignores the fact that it started because Diana chipped in with ‘or boy’.

He’s in high school by the time he’s twelve, and the only part he’s grateful for is the absence of pressure to get a girlfriend. His dad’s out of the picture now, and Spencer tries not to let himself think that maybe if he wasn’t like this he might have stayed. Diana’s so out of it most days that she doesn’t remember what she noticed about him when he was a child, only recalling the last few years of shoving himself so far back in the closet he can hardly see the door anymore.

It feels like he’s lost his last ally.

(He hates that a small part of him feels relieved she doesn’t remember; that he almost feels assured by the fact that the last person to know who he really is has forgotten. There is only this version of Spencer Reid now. No other exists.)

He makes the mistake during his second undergraduate degree. He’s just turned eighteen but he is already a doctor and, fortunately, this alienates him from most of his peers, but someone manages to slide past his defences. Ethan Miller is twenty, in the second year of his (first) undergraduate degree in Chemical Engineering, and he’s nice. Spencer doesn’t have a lot of experience with friendship, but they get on well and Ethan makes him laugh. For the first time, he feels comfortable in the presence of anyone other than his mother.

They slip into an easy friendship: waiting for each other after class — Spencer back in the undergraduate buildings now he has his first PhD under his belt — and going out for ice cream and pizza and Thai food. Ethan goes to parties while Spencer studies, and then they reconvene to watch Doctor Who and play cards.

For almost a year, Spencer keeps his secret carefully locked up, hidden behind the mask he’s perfected after so many years. Even though he’s eighteen, nearly nineteen now, he doesn’t try and explore that side of himself. No, that’s far too risky. He doesn’t try and pretend any other way either, he just stays silent and lets people’s assumptions lie for him, but he can’t help the longing that claws up his throat when he locks eyes with a passing guy on campus. One time, he’d seen two men kiss on a bench in the city, and he’d run back to his dorm and had a panic attack. Why couldn’t he have that?

The feelings don’t stop, and he doesn’t know how to make them. He hates that he isn’t normal, but still longs for the touch of a man, the feeling of being wrapped up in strong arms, of being kissed by dry, chapped lips, and falling asleep to a heartbeat approximately 11% slower than that of a woman’s.

It’s a constant battle inside him, emotions raging, and he struggles to control it, suppress it, tame it.

He pays a sorry price.

Ethan makes him feel comfortable, and that turns out to be a detriment. He relaxes around the other boy: he tells him about growing up as a pre-teen in a high school, about how a child feels living 260 miles away from home, even about his mother’s illness.

And one day, it slips out. They’re on the beach, lying on towels as they look up at the blue sky, talking about what their futures will look like: Ethan will be a successful chemical engineer in Berlin, and Spencer will work for the FBI, profiling serial killers.

“You’ll have to marry a German girl,” he tells Ethan. “It’ll be tough to convince an American girl to move all the way to Germany as soon as you graduate.”

“Yeah, and what about you? You’ll be off fighting crime around the country, not much of a life for a family.”

“Oh, I imagine my husband will be the type to—”

“Husband?”

Spencer freezes. It shocks him as much as it shocks Ethan. He doesn’t even pay much attention to Ethan’s disgusted face and his outraged tirade. He hears slurs and insults, hears him say that he can’t believe Spencer tricked him like this, that he was probably waiting to make a move on him, that he was never to look in Ethan’s direction again, but Spencer is frozen in time.

He’s never allowed him to think much about what his personal life might look like in the future, but he’d said ‘husband’ on instinct, without thinking, and it’s clearly something he actually wants. Ethan’s words sting, but the moment brings about a realisation Spencer is thankful for; it instigates a journey of self-discovery and self-expression, of the joy of living as your true self.

He loses his first and only friend, but he gains something much more valuable. He visits gay bars — nervously sipping a non-alcoholic drink in the corner at first, before soon becoming confident enough to respond to the men who sidle up to him and ask for his name. He lets go and dances the night away, sometimes going home with one of the many dance partners he acquires during the night, sometimes heading back to his own dorm happily alone.

Makeup and dresses and skirts and heels make their way into his wardrobe, and he befriends girls and drag queens and other gay men who encourage him to be exactly the way he is. And the best part is, he never has to come out to any of them. All of them know, and that’s good enough for everyone.

The fun comes to a sad sort of slow, however, when he joins the BAU. Everyone knows law enforcement’s relationship with the LGBT community is less than adequate — Spencer’s seen it with his own eyes: butch lesbians and men in dresses getting roughed up by angry police officers for ‘lewd behaviour’ or ‘drunkenness’ when they’re just being themselves. It’s not safe for him to tell anyone, so he doesn’t.

He still goes out with his friends when he’s in town and wears makeup and dresses and crop tops when he’s at home, but presents as rigidly straight Dr Spencer Reid to his team at the BAU.

The hardest part about it is that he loves his team. He’s known Gideon for years — and he wouldn’t be surprised if he suspects something after coming over to his house unannounced one night, only to have a man other than Spencer open the door — but he settles into a comforting dynamic with Hotch. He can’t help but see him as something of a father figure, and he knows Hotch has a soft spot for him, always looking out for him and taking him under his wing without a moment’s hesitation.

Elle, JJ, and Penelope all take a shine to him, too, teasing him without a hint of malice in their tones, only the kind of playful kindness that reminds him of his mother. He forms a special bond with Penelope and they spend hours watching Doctor Who together and geeking out on all the areas their interests overlap, and the comfort he feels with her matches the comfort he’s found with his new group of queer friends.

(She doesn’t hold a candle to Ethan, he decides one night, after he’d cried at a movie she’d made him watch and she felt so bad she made him hot chocolate and jam toast and cuddled him until he felt better.)

Derek becomes a brother to him. He puts him in a headlock at least once a day — which Spencer has been reliably informed by multiple sources is a very brotherly thing to do — and teases him relentlessly, while simultaneously being fiercely protective of him. Enough so, that Spencer sometimes wonders if he even has Hotch beat in that department.

He loves his team and his team loves him. It should be simple. It is still 2003.

He comes in one morning late for a briefing, his shirt buttoned wrong and his hair is a mess, and he’s fairly sure that his attempt to cover the hickey at the base of his neck with concealer has been ultimately unsuccessful. It’s obvious why he’s late. Gideon is too engrossed in the case file to notice, but Hotch raises an eyebrow, an amused look on his face as everyone else immediately takes to teasing him.

“Who’s the lucky lady, pretty boy?”

Elle raises an eyebrow to match Derek’s shit-eating grin, “Someone definitely got some strange last night.”

“When do we get to meet her, Spence?” JJ asks, smirking as he takes a seat.

He’s bright red — as if he needed to look any more debauched — and Spencer tries to ignore the hurt that seizes his chest at the reminder of his need to stay quiet. This team respects him, and he can’t throw that away just because Spencer gets too comfortable.

God, he wishes Penelope was here.

“None of your business,” he mutters, trying to keep his tone light. He fails.

Naturally, Hotch notices and swiftly moves the briefing on, and Spencer keeps his gaze locked on the case file, not missing the absence of a reprimand from his superior. He’s constantly thankful for the older man, but in this moment, he wishes he could hug him.

(A voice that sounds dangerously close to Ethan’s rises up and taunts him in his ear: he wouldn’t want a dirty homo like you anywhere near him—)

Derek doesn’t let up on the case, continuing to bug him about the special lady in his life. He does concede that it could’ve been a one night stand, which is one front he’s right on, but a couple more concessions are necessary before Derek comes close to the truth of last night.

Eventually, Derek stops, and Spencer notes that the cessation of comments comes suspiciously close to the last time Derek and Hotch were alone together. He doesn’t have it in him to feel angry at Hotch for stepping in when he had it handled; doesn’t have the energy to act as though his pride is wounded, because really, neither of those things are true, and he doesn’t need to add another item to ‘Spencer Reid’s List of Things He Pretends to Be.’

The situation is forgotten, and time moves on.

Things change when he finds his first proper boyfriend. He doesn’t know what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t the giddying rush of emotions it turns out to be, and Spencer spends his days smiling as he daydreams his time away.

His name is Oscar Wilkins, a History professor at Georgetown University, and Spencer falls quickly in love with him. Ever since their mutual friend had introduced them at a gay bar one evening, they’d spent all their free time together. He’s kind and gentle and understanding of Spencer’s hectic and unpredictable job, and he finally has the chance to experience everything he quietly and shamefully longed for as a teenager.

The only downside is the silent breaking of Spencer’s heart that the most important people in his life can’t meet his boyfriend. He longs to show Oscar off, to hold hands in front of his team, lean up to press a tender kiss to Oscar’s lips. He wants to put a framed picture of the two of them at the Washington Monument on his desk to remind him of why he needs to get through the hard days; he doesn’t want to have to sneak out of the hotel room he shares with Derek to whisper hushed, loving goodnights over the phone.

But he’s too scared. Too cowardly.

It’s different being who he is with his gay group of friends littered with wlws and drag queens and other gay and bisexual guys. They understand.

But Derek and Hotch are two extremely masculine, alpha men: Derek’s a ladies’ man and Hotch is married to a woman he met in college with a baby on the way and both have a strong and dominant energy that still sometimes manages to intimidate Spencer even after all these years. And Elle and JJ are lovely — some of his closest friends, really — but sometimes they remind him a little too much of the mean girls he went to high school with.

The hardest person to keep his secret from, though, is Penelope. She’s his best friend and he desperately wants to give her all of him, but he’s so scared. He’s lost a best friend to this secret before, and even though he’s certain she’d be fine with it, what if she accidentally let it slip to Derek? What if Hotch found out and didn’t see him in the same light anymore? What if the girls started teasing him? What if Gideon didn’t want to mentor him anymore?

The fear paralyses him. And it’s a cycle he doesn’t know how to break.

Fear, though, doesn't stop everyone from noticing his daydreaming, his dopey smile when he checks his messages, his urgency to get home where he would’ve stayed until the small hours of the morning before. As excellent as he is at hiding his sexuality, he’s fucking terrible at hiding the fact that he’s in love: it was easy enough to pretend he was straight, but hiding something this all-consuming is an impossible ask.

Derek comes over to perch on the edge of his desk one afternoon, sighing as he sits down. “Pretty boy, this is getting ridiculous,” he says, snatching Spencer’s attention away from his phone. “You’ve been grinning like an idiot for the last twenty minutes as you’ve texted Future Mrs Reid. When are we going to meet her?”

(He hates the new nickname the team has given his mystery significant other, although Oscar had found it hilarious. “It’s funny because when we get married, we’ll hardly be able to tell,” he’d argued through his laughter. “Neither of us will change our name because of our academic profiles, and we’ll both still be ‘Dr’. Our wedding rings will be the only indicator.”

Spencer hadn’t argued back, because he’d been too tongue-tied and flushed pink at Oscar’s use of ‘when’ in regards to their hypothetical nuptials. It was only made bearable by Oscar kissing him gently and tucking him under his arm, not embarrassing him any further as Spencer had sort of anticipated, warmth settling over his chest at the thought of their future together.)

“You won’t,” he replies, perhaps a little too curtly.

Derek starts at that, clearly not expecting it. He definitely should’ve tried to play it off as a joke. “What— should I be offended, pretty boy?”

You wouldn’t call me that if you knew who I really am.

“That’s up to you, Derek,” he says calmly, although he still can’t meet his eyes, “but you won’t meet the ‘Future Mrs Reid, so I think it would probably be best if you left it alone.”

“Damn,” Derek mutters under his breath, clearly pissed off and probably more hurt than Spencer ever intended. “Suit yourself.”

And with that, he gets up and leaves his desk. Spencer’s only solace is the text message he sees on his phone when he picks it back up: I love you so much. You know that, right?

The light-hearted ridicule comes to an abrupt halt after the incident with Derek, and it’s clear that he had been the biggest contributor to the teasing. He’s thankful that the jokes have stopped, but he wishes desperately that it didn’t come with the growing distance between him and his team. Loneliness takes the place of his previous irritated anxiety, and he isn’t sure what’s worse.

It all comes to a head at the end of a case in Michigan. They’re stuck in the lounge of the small inn they’d stayed in the last few days, a snowstorm having blocked them in and grounded the jet, although Gideon had long since retreated to his room. The fire’s going and they’re the only guests around, so it’s cosy enough, but Spencer can’t help but feel sick at the idea of another night away from home.

It’s only been two weeks since he’d snapped at Derek, but the chasm between him and the team is only widening with each passing day. He knows it’s not a case of ‘pick a side’, but the team’s morale relies on light-hearted banter and teasing, and him not being a part of that anymore has only brewed awkwardness. Everyone’s trying to give him space when space is the last thing he wants.

Oscar’s keeping him company over the phone at least, but it’s not quite enough to quell the loneliness swimming around his stomach, and the 'discrete' sideways looks he gets from the team only make him feel worse.

“At least it’s nice and toasty in here,” JJ sighs as she takes a sip of the hot chocolate the kindly inn owner had made for them all.

Elle hums in agreement. “There are worse places to be grounded.”

“I dunno, man, I just wanna get home,” Derek says, not taking his eyes off the fire. Spencer can’t help but agree.

“Oh, come on,” Hotch muses, considerably more jovial now the case is over, “we’re here, and that’s not going to change any time soon. We should make the most of it.”

“It’s at least nice to be somewhere sort-of Christmassy now it’s December,” Elle points out. “We could be stuck in a dingy police station like we probably will be next week.”

“Ooh, I noticed that Jemimah and Kiran started planning the Christmas party last week,” JJ says, smiling at them. “I offered my help, but they seem to have it covered.”

Hotch raises an eyebrow“That’s probably a good thing. You don’t need more work on your plate.”

“Not gonna argue with that,” she murmurs, smiling as she brings her mug to her lips again.

Spencer doesn’t miss that Derek is still stewing on the opposite side of the room.

“Are you looking forward to the Christmas party, Spencer? Will you come?” Hotch asks, clearly trying to rope him into the conversation, which he appreciates. He’s been making a lot of effort with him the past few weeks, and it’s just about the only thing that’s getting him through each day.

Before he can reply, though, Derek erupts from the other side of the room; an already pissed-off man being pushed over the edge. “He won’t even let us meet his fucking girlfriend, Hotch, he’s not gonna want to come to the Christmas party!” he yells, throwing his hands in the air as he glares at Spencer with a stormy expression raging across his face.

Suddenly, Spencer can’t stay silent anymore, and his retort shocks himself just as much as it does everyone else. “I don’t have a girlfriend!”

It might be the loudest he’s ever shouted in his whole life. He’s always been quiet and restrained, the type to state his feelings as calmly as possible no matter how he’s feeling on the inside. Even in the biggest fight he’s had with Oscar, his voice was barely loud enough to qualify as a shout.

There’s a brief stunned silence, but Derek quickly slices his way through it, voice raising to meet Spencer’s fiery emotion, fierce and loud. “Oh, don’t even go there, Reid, you’re really gonna try and argue that? You’re gonna lie about her as well as not let us meet her? What a boyfriend you are.”

“I don’t! I don’t have a girlfriend!” he repeats, voice catching this time as tears rise unbidden to the backs of his eyes and all the emotions of the journey he’s taken with his sexuality over the years flood him in a wave of intensity he’s not prepared for.

“You’re fucking lying—!”

“I have a boyfriend!” he yells. “Alright? I have a boyfriend. I’m gay.”

The anger and emotion quickly dissipates, and he’s left standing alone in front of the team he’s put so much effort into hiding this from, watching shock spell out across everyone’s expressions. He’s never felt smaller than he does in that moment, and he quickly grabs his phone before running upstairs to his room, locking the door behind him.

“Oh God, Oscar, I fucked up so bad,” he cries over the phone as soon as his boyfriend picks up.

“Hey, hey, breathe, baby,” Oscar says gently, but Spencer can hear the anxious concern in his voice, “it’s gonna be okay, I promise. I’m here. Do you want to tell me what happened?”

“I just— Oh God, I just told the team.” A new wave of horror rolls over him as he realises what he’s done. Times might be changing, but it’s still only 2006, and he doesn’t know each and every nuance of his team members’ political positions and, fuck, he hates that his existence is a fucking political position.

Oscar’s been so understanding of his reluctance to not tell the team, even though Spencer’s met pretty much everyone in his life. He isn’t sure what he’s done to earn such a gracious and understanding boyfriend, but he’s not about to question it.

“Baby, I know it’s scary, and I know you’re really worked up right now,” he counsels, voice soft and reassuring, using the nickname he knows Spencer loves the most to make him feel as safe as he can from 700 miles away, “but it’s probably not as bad as you think. From what you’ve told me about the team, they love you so much, and even in the case that in the past they've had some issue with gay people, I can't imagine they’d ever actually think of you any differently when it comes down to it, Spencer.”

He’s crying too hard to reply, and Oscar understands immediately, gently transitioning into a story about his day that slowly starts to calm him down, and by the time he’s wrapping it up, his tears are starting to subside.

“Thank you, Ozzy,” he whispers into the phone, lifting himself up off the floor and making his way to sit on the bed instead.

“You know I’d do anything for you, sweetheart,” he murmurs warmly. “Do you want me to stay on the phone for a bit?”

“Yes please,” he whispers again, holding it as close to himself as possible, drawing all the comfort he can from his boyfriend’s voice.

He lies there listening to Oscar’s voice and trying not to think about the disaster downstairs for a good ten minutes before there’s a tap at the door.

“Oz, there’s someone here,” he says, voice panicked.

“I think you should probably speak to them, baby,” he urges. “I’ll stay on the phone with you while you do, if you like?”

“Please.” He gets up from the bed gingerly, keeping his phone tightly gripped in his right hand as he slowly unlocks the door with his left, revealing Hotch on the other side.

“Hey, Spencer. Do you mind if I come in?”

He’s riddled with nerves, but Hotch is smiling warmly, and he’s never said a harsh word to Spencer, so he steps aside and lets him into his room.

Hotch quickly notices the phone in his hand, visibly still on a call. “Is that your boyfriend?”

Spencer nods.

“Do you mind if I talk to him?”

His brows knit in confusion and his lips part slightly in surprise, but it’s all he can do to hand the phone over, watching Hotch carefully.

“Hi, Spencer tells me this is his boyfriend?” Hotch inquires politely into the phone, his tone still warm. “I’m Hotch, Spencer’s boss.”

He can vaguely hear Oscar speaking on the other end of the line, and he worries slightly that Oscar will somehow give away the familial feelings he holds for Hotch, but the conversation doesn’t last long enough for the anxiety to really take over.

“Everything’s fine here, I just want to have a conversation with Spencer, so is it alright if we hang up and I talk to him alone for a minute? He can call you straight back afterwards.” After a brief pause in which Oscar says something, Hotch looks back up at him. “Are you okay with that, Spencer?”

He nods hesitantly, and Hotch says a quick goodbye to Oscar before surging forwards and wrapping Spencer in a hug. It catches him off guard, but he doesn’t waste any time in burying his face into Hotch’s neck and soaking in the comfort and warmth that always radiates from his father figure.

“Come on,” Hotch says softly as they pull away a good minute or so later, “let’s sit down, shall we?”

“You’re not mad?” Spencer can’t help but ask, the question burning his tongue as anxiety — however quietened from Hotch’s hug — still swims around in his stomach.

“There are many things that could make me mad, Spencer,” he says earnestly, “but this is not one of them. I would never be angry at you for being who you are, okay? I might… I might be overstepping here, and if I am, then tell me and I’ll back off, but I’ve always seen you as a mentee, and over the years that’s developed— well, I see you more as a son these days. And part of that is wanting to protect and support you no matter what you do or say or who you are.”

Spencer wastes no time in diving back in for a hug, clinging onto Hotch for dear life as he hugs back, rubbing his back gently.

“I’m so sorry you didn’t feel like you could tell us sooner, Spencer,” he says in a voice soft with affection and regret. “But I’m so glad you’ve told us now.”

He only presses closer at that, tears springing back to his eyes. “I didn’t want to lose you.” He knows what he’s implying, and even in a roundabout way, he’s glad he’s telling Hotch.

“Oh, Spence,” he sighs sadly, “you couldn’t do a single thing to lose me. I’m in it for the long haul.”

“Really?” he asks, hating how insecure he sounds.

“Really,” Hotch promises, pulling away as Spencer does. “Now, you have a whole team of agents downstairs who are feeling very sorry for themselves and really want to see you.”

Nausea rolls in his stomach and panic springs back up as he looks at Hotch, desperate for some sort of grounding. “Are they angry at me? Do they hate me now?”

“No one hates you, Spencer,” he says firmly. “I promise you that. Everyone just wishes that they’d made you feel more welcome and comfortable. We all hate that you felt you had to lock up something so integral to who you are, and we can’t help but feel we played a part in it.”

“No,” he protests — the last thing he wants is family blaming themselves when it has nothing to do with them, “it’s not your fault, it’s just…”

Hotch nods. “I understand, it’s okay. Now, do you want to go down and see them? You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but it might help ease your mind to see that they really don’t hate you.”

Spencer pauses, taking a moment to think. “Can I see Derek first?”

“Of course,” Hotch says understandingly, and the comforting smile that crosses his face makes Spencer feel safe and taken care of. “I’ll send him up?”

Spencer nods and Hotch hugs him once more before leaving the room almost reluctantly. He wastes no time in picking up his phone and sending a text to Oscar. You were right. Hotch is fine. He’s just sending Derek up before I go and see the team but he says that no one’s angry and I think I believe him. Thank you, Oscar. I love you.

Not even half a minute goes past before his phone lights up with a text back. I’m so glad, baby. Call me later, okay? I want to make sure you’re okay before I go to bed. I love you more.

Before Spencer can argue that actually, he is the one more in love with the other, a hesitant knock sounds on his door. Nerves suddenly flip his stomach, and he clenches and unclenches his fists a couple of times before forcing himself to cross the room, revealing a very worried and regretful-looking Derek.

“Oh, pretty boy,” he says sadly, before crushing Spencer in a warm and tender hug. Immediately, he relaxes into the arms of one of his best friends, and relief courses through his blood at Derek’s reaction. “I am so sorry that I ever made you feel like you couldn’t tell me that you were gay or had a boyfriend. That’s completely on me. I don’t care who you love, Spencer, I just want you to be happy, okay? And if this guy makes you happy, then that’s fine by me. But if he ever lays a hand on you or—”

“Derek, Derek,” he laughs, “it’s fine I get it. Thank you, though, I’m… I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you earlier and for snapping at you in the bullpen that time…”

“I understand, Spence,” he promises. “It’s in the past, okay? And I’m sorry for pushing so hard. I mean, I’d love to meet him but if you don’t feel comfortable or you don’t want to, that’s fine, too. It’s your life, man.”

“No, I… I think I want you guys to meet him. It’s been so hard to keep him away from the people I consider my family, you know?”

“Yeah, I know. Maybe after Christmas, we can all have dinner or something.”

Spencer smiles shyly. “Well, Oscar’s a great cook, so I reckon we could work something out.”

Derek grins, throwing an arm around his shoulders as he immediately jumps back into teasing him as they make their way to the door to go downstairs and see the rest of the team. “Ooh, lover boy’s got him a chef, hey? What else does this Oscar have going for him?”

Spencer chatters eagerly about his boyfriend to Derek, barely skipping a beat when he joins everyone downstairs, his friends taking his cues and joining in with the conversation seamlessly. He’s had enough fuss for one night, and the warmth and understanding on everyone’s faces tells him everything he needs to know.

“Do you have any pictures of him?” JJ asks, raising an eyebrow with eager expectancy as they all settle back into their seats by the fire, a warm and unbelievably happy feeling settling in Spencer’s stomach.

He blushes, digging out his phone from his pocket and unlocking it. “More than a few, I think.”

He finds the most recent picture of his boyfriend — a candid shot of him cooking in the kitchen, spatula aloft, and a huge grin on his face — and hands the phone around.

“Oh wow, you like them buff, huh, pretty boy?” Derek teases as soon as he gets his hands on it, and Spencer’s stomach twists in a sudden bout of fear, expecting to see some hesitancy or even disgust on his friend’s face. What if he thinks that Spencer has a crush on him? What if he’s uncomfortable around him now?

But if Derek’s having any of those thoughts, they don’t show on his face. He’s smiling widely and openly, all the pent-up anxiety and frustration borne from hurt gone from his body language, and he looks completely comfortable sat next to Spencer, his arm stretched out behind him on the back of the sofa.

They sit happily around the fire for a couple of hours, settling into a happy, intimate familiarity Spencer hadn’t realised was missing when he was hiding something so integral to his being from his family, and he’s still smiling when they finally part ways to head to bed, the clock ticking closer and closer to 1 am.

He gets ready for bed quickly, brushing his teeth and throwing on the top he’d stolen from Oscar the first time he’d stayed at his place; a welcome change from his worn and wrinkled suit. As soon as his teeth are brushed and the lights are all off except for his bedside lamp, he pulls out his phone, knowing there’s one more thing he has to do before he goes to sleep.

“Spencer?” Penelope’s voice sounds down the line, clearly concerned. “It’s almost 2 am here, are you okay?”

“I’m gay,” he says, getting straight to the point. The main reason he ever kept it from her was because of his fear of it accidentally getting out to the team rather than fear over her reaction. After all, multiple of his drag queen friends are also hers.

“Oh my God,” she says in that small voice she uses when she’s not actually talking to you, before finally actually replying to me. “Spencer, I’m so happy you told me!”

He doesn’t miss her choice of words, or the way she says them and he tilts his head suspiciously. “You already knew, didn’t you?”

She sighs. “Yeah. I’m sorry, a couple of months ago I saw a text from Oscar on your phone when you went to the bathroom during one of our Doctor Who marathons, and it wasn’t hard to figure out the relationship.”

“And… wait, you’re not mad at me for not telling you sooner?”

“Spencer! Of course not. I was waiting for you to be comfortable enough to share it with me. I felt awful that I knew without your consent but I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want to catch you off guard or make you feel uncomfortable. It’s fine that you waited, baby genius, I’m just so happy you told me now. What finally gave you the courage?”

“Well, it might have slipped out in front of the team this evening,” he admits sheepishly, “and the only reason I never told you was because I was scared that it would slip out somehow — accidentally, of course, I didn’t think you’d tell anyone on purpose — and now everyone knows. It’s been killing me not to tell you, Penelope, it really has because I love you so much and you’re my best friend and I trust you with my life, it’s just…”

“Whoa, slow down, Spence,” she laughs fondly, “you don’t have to explain yourself to me, I understand. But I’m glad you finally told everyone and you can be yourself completely with us, now. We all love you no matter what, you know that right?”

“I do now.”

“Good. You should get some sleep, baby boy, it’s late and you’ve had an emotional evening.”

Spencer smiles. “Yeah, I know. You should, too, Pen. I’ll see you when we can finally make it home, okay? Love you.”

“Love you, too, 187,” she says softly, and Spencer can hear the smile in her voice. “Goodnight.”

As soon as he hangs up, he settles down into the bed, turning off the light and pulling the duvet up over his shoulders before dialling one more number.

“Hey, baby,” Oscar says, voice as gentle and caring as it always is, although thicker with tiredness now. “I take it everything went okay?”

“Yeah,” Spencer murmurs, already feeling tired as the safety he always feels at the sound of Oscar’s voice settles into the fibres of his being. “It went so well. I can’t wait for you to meet everyone.”

“I can’t wait either, sweetheart. Are you in bed now?”

“Yeah,” he sighs. “Can you talk to me as I fall asleep?”

“Anything for you, Spence,” he says softly, before transitioning seamlessly into a story about the professors on campus, and his gentle comfort and the knowledge of the unconditional love his family has for him finally lulls Spencer into the best sleep he’s had in weeks.

taglist : @criminalmindsvibez @moreidstrobed @suburban--gothic @strippersenseii @takeyourleap-of-faith @negativefouriq @makaylajadewrites @iamrenstark @livrere-blue @hotchseyebrows @reidology @i-like-buttons @spencerspecifics @bau-gremlin @hotchedyke @tobias-hankel @goobzoop @marsjareau @garcias-bitch @oliverbrnch @physics-magic @sbeno22 @temily @enbyspencer @im-autistic @anxious-enby @kuolonsyoja @reidreids (add yourself to my taglist via this form!!)

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obeiii-mee · 3 years

Note

Heyo, this is my first time asking (im kinda new to tumblr, so please dont judge) if you would'nt mind, could you do some headcannons (or oneshots, it dosen't matter) with all the demon bros and a MC who is crippled/paralized in their legs, and has to use a wheelchair to get around? Thank you!!

——————————-

This is the first time I’ve written about a crippled MC, so I hope I didn’t fuck this up or anything. I found out that being paralysed in both legs is a disability called Paraplegia so that’s how I titled this post. And y’all are too sweet, you are more than welcome anon! I hope I can portray this properly because I am not crippled myself so I’ve opted to do some research before writing this! I hope you like it! Also, I feel inclined to add that none of the brothers would treat you too differently if you happen to have a disability because you’re their human nonetheless :)

——————————-

The Brothers with an MC that has Paraplegia and needs a wheelchair to get around:

Lucifer:

-Lucifer was in charge of choosing the final human, exchange student for the program so it’s guaranteed he already knew about your predicament before you even arrived

-Him and Diavolo probably had many meetings concerning your disability before the program could commence, considering that being unable to walk would double the chances of you getting killed since you are obviously more vulnerable

-Not to mention all the treatment you would require

-Lucifer is not well versed in human illnesses and disorders, but he makes sure that he is educated enough on the matter before you get brought down there

-It would not be easy, but he is determined to help you survive your year in DevilDom for the prince’s sake

-First problem of the day was, of course, your wheelchair

-Due to lack of time, Lucifer was unable to instal ramps around the House of Lamentation which meant that for the first couple of weeks, someone would’ve had to help you move around certain parts of the house

-He gave that highly prestigious job to himself because he didn’t trust his brothers and thought they would accidentally drop you and your wheelchair down the stairs

-He talks a lot to you, even at the beginning, because he needs to establish your needs and what he should do to make sure you don’t die for the following year

-You would have to tell him about physical therapy and how most commonly it uses heat, massage and exercise to stimulate your nerves and muscles, making it a great treatment for people with leg paralysis

-Once you two enter a more intimate and personal relationship, it’s more than likely he’ll help you perform those things himself (instead of kidnapping a human doctor from somewhere)

-Lucifer knows you have no problem getting around with your wheelchair by yourself but there are times where he’ll insist to push you along in order to give you a quick break

-I can totally imagine you two strolling around DevilDom and having cosy chats about RAD and your adjustments to DevilDom

-He has a softer side to him that he’s afraid to show most of the time, but he feels so at ease when you’re around, it’s hard for him to hold that part of him hidden from you

-Of course, your safety still remains his primary concern and he acts more like your guardian than Mammon does, even if he was originally supposed to look out for you

-He will accompany you almost anywhere. And if he can’t, he’ll have one or more of his brothers do it. And even then he’s probably lurking nearby, just in case

-He would always be willing to listen about your condition, if you wished to tell him whether you were born with the defect or why you ended up crippled later in life. Either way, he’s all ears

-If you would rather not speak about it, he wouldn’t pry and respect your decision because he knows it’s not his place to pressure you

-Because of your paralysis, it’s quite obvious to demons that you are even weaker (physically speaking) than most humans and that usually puts a target on your back

-Howver, never fear, because Lucifer is pretty quick to put lower rank demons in their place with just a mere stare

-Oop one of them passed out from the fear, haha

-In conclusion, he’s the most responsible when it comes your comfort and safety during your stay

-He makes sure you are always left in good hands and and provides most of the requirements you need

-Y’all should see how his wings puff up when he senses a threat approaching you, he looks like a peacock ready to go on attack lol

Mammon:

-The second born is unsurprisingly a bit of a jerk at first

-He stays really grumpy the whole day of your arrival because he’s stuck babysitting you stupid human

-“Lucifer c’mon, what’s all this workload for? The human can’t even walk by themselves, why do I have to help them out?”

-Wtf Mammon you can’t say shit like that

-Anyways, the following very few days, the only thing he’s thinking about is how much money he could sell your wheelchair for

-He’s the literal incarnation of greed, what else did you expect from him?

-After a while, he starts feeling a bit guilty every time he thinks about it though

-Mammon is gonna take this secret to the grave (laughs in immortal) but he actually really likes pushing you around

-Maybe it’s because it’s a clear indication to everyone around him that you are HIS human, under HIS protection and therefore you trust HIM the most since he was your FIRST MAN

-He will insist on helping you get out of that thing when you need to go to bed and stuff every night and he will get pouty real fast if you let any of his other brothers do it

-You wake up to him trying to roll around in your wheelchair one night at like 3am

-At some point, he stole a wheelchair from the human realm to match with his human. You can guess the consequences of his actions

-I can imagine you having to face a staircase or something at school and Mammon being like:

-“Fuck it, imma carry this fragile human instead; wheelchair and all!”

-Like you were a sack of potatoes or something smh

-Cue his brothers watching him from a distance as he heaves you and basically weight-lifts you up the stairs

-Ok but every now and again, he gets so sad thinking about you not being able to walk, like he starts crying kinda sad

-While you stand there like 😐 “Why are you crying?”

-He’s so quick to help if he senses you’re in danger too

-It’s canon that Mammon is crazy fast if he wants to be so if he has even the slightest impression that your life is threatened, his feet are already moving

-He will charge at your immediate threat at around 120 miles per hour-do not try him when he’s mad

-“The Great Mammon saved the day! C’mon MC, let’s go buy some ice cream. My treat! Ya better be grateful!”

-He says while the demon that tried to eat you lies on the floor with about a dozen broken bones

-Mammon is the second most powerful demon out of all of his brothers, even if he doesn’t resort to violence often

Levi:

-He didn’t really know how to react when you first teleported to DevilDom

-I mean, from the very beginning he considered you to be a human normie but at the same time, he felt bad you were stuck with his brothers for the rest of the year

-I think he would understand you would have an even harder time integrating yourself in their house because of your disability and he knows his siblings are really fucking annoying, always pushing you around and whatnot

-So, he kinda lets you hide in his room quite often

-You guys chill out in there all the time, much to the dismay of the other brothers who also want to spend time with you

-At some point, Levi definitely begged asked Lucifer to let you start online classes with him

-“But wouldn’t it be easier for MC to do online school from home rather than go to R.A.D since there aren’t any ramps or anything around there???”

-“The answer is no Leviathan.”

-“Ugh fine! What a fucking boomer-“

-For some reason, he gets so flustered whenever you ask him to push you around

-He blushes right to the tips of his ears and then he starts sputtering some nonsense that you can’t make out at all

-But he’s more than happy to do it, especially if you guys are going to a convention or if he’s dragging you out to buy new merch

-You two would get along in the sense that Levi realises the struggles you faced all your life were tough to overcome and he believes you are just like him

-Usually left out by other people, ignored even

-He knows you always listen to him ramble on about whatever he is currently obsessed with and how much you check up on him to make sure he never isolated himself

-He wants to do that for you too! Talk to him about your hobbies, please I’m begging you-he feels so bad whenever he’s doing all the talking

-If you ask him to help you with anything (getting something, helping you into bed—that sort of thing), he legally and physically can’t say ‘no’

-And he would get envious enough to stop talking to you for a day or two if you let his brothers do it instead (the second and third born are indeed similar lmao)

-S T A Y I N H I S R O O M, W H E R E Y O U C A N B E P R O T E C T E D !

-He will feel so much more at ease if you’re in his room because to him, that’s his haven

-If you’re in there with him, that means you’re not getting involved in his siblings’ endless and dangerous shenanigans

-Whenever you’re at school, he can’t help but worry about your well-being

-Because you’re human! You’re gonna get killed!! Do you know how much your organs sell on the black market in DevilDom??? 100x more than in the human realm, that’s for sure

-Would they have a black market or would it be a regular market lol

-For some reason, he also likes staying in your wheelchair when you’re not using it

-I think he just takes comfort in knowing it’s something that belongs to you and smells like you and-

-OK Levi, sit back down

-He wouldn’t treat you any differently if you had a disability tbh, but he’d be more concerned because you can’t even run away or anything

-So he’s so fuckin’ relieved when you guys are just vibing in his room

-He could die happy knowing he kept his best friend/ partner safe

Satan:

-Satan would be even more prepared for your arrival than Lucifer would, in a sense

-Out of all of his brothers, he’s most likely to understand and recognise paraplegia (either from studying human illnesses/birth defects/disabilities or from encountering humans with said disability)

-He’s a smart boy, alright?

-Always seems to be the first to notice if you need help or if someone’s bothering you

-Though in the very beginning, he was pretty tempted to just let you get killed to see how angry Lucifer could get

-Seeing dear Luci’s misery brings him great joy 🥰🥰🥰

-Once you two manage to build a very honest and strong relationship, he feels more and more inclined to keep you out of harm’s way

-Pls, he would feel so honoured if you let him push you around (it’s like you asked him to h*ld h*nds or something)

-If you require treatment of any kind, he would be so happy to help

-But in a subtle way...?

-Satan makes it seem so smooth too like he doesn’t mind lending a helping hand when in reality he’s all giddy inside

-*Kinda wants to rub it in his brothers’ faces but at the same no, because he’s definitely the bigger person here

-He wants to know how your wheelchair works

-It’s got all of these neat mechanisms and he wants to learn how they’re constructed because he never had the chance to inspect one before

-He’s such a sweetheart about asking you as well and never pries about your disability unless you start elaborating yourself

-Most of the time, he acts all charming and very gentleman-like

-So people have a hard time spotting and acknowledging the building rage inside of him every time he sees you are threatened by some moronic low rank demon

-Satan’s usually chill when it comes to injuries, unless he can see you’re in horrible pain

-There’s nothing a few spells can’t accomplish

-But when others purposefully try harming you?

-It’s like he loses all the self control he’s been trying to perfect over the centuries and he can’t help himself from at least breaking someone’s rib cage

-Satan’s a weird one because he’s protective of you even though he’s more on the relaxed side when compared to his siblings

-He very much acknowledges that you made it this far in life with your predicament so he doesn’t feel the need to baby you or anything

-You’re strong and he knows this

-It’s one of the many things he clearly loves about you

-That one time you rolled over Mammon’s foot with your wheelchair on purpose, he was wheezing

Asmo:

-Even now, he can’t help but wonder what it would be like to be stuck inside a wheelchair for the rest of his eternal life

-I mean, he’d obviously still be absolutely fabulous, have you seen him? He’s gonna be gorgeous either way

-But after the two of you meet, he definitely starts thinking about how he takes his feet for granted all the time

-It would be so difficult to complete his daily tasks without the ability to walk or run around

-That’s why he gets sad every time he remembers that’s your reality and on days like that, you’ve noticed he gives you a helluva lot more attention than usual

-He knows you don’t need pity or anything so he’s just making sure his human has all the support they can get

-Paraplegia or not, shopping trips are still a go-go

-He loves buying you clothes! And he loves helping you try them on! Asmo takes it very seriously

-Might have a go at the employees if they’re being rude to you

-You don’t even ask him to, but he subconsciously starts pushing you around himself whenever the two of you are out together

-“MC! Look at that new shop that’s just opened! Isn’t it adorable? We have to check it out!”

-He can’t help it! There’s so many places he wants to visit, he sort of just drags you with him wherever he goes

-Even at home, he always pops out of nowhere to coax you into coming to his room

-Y’all have so many skin routines to do each day

-Like he’s in your room most nights to greet you goodnight and tuck you in, with the rest of his brothers it gets so awkward at times

-Asmo just wants to see you smile, ok? He thinks you have a beautiful smile and laugh and he wants to remind you that you’re marvellous, disability or not

-And if anyone does anything to put an end to your self confidence, he will swiftly put an end to their life

-Please, he’s a pro at ruining lives, he’s been doing it for centuries

-Asmo has such a huge influence over the people in DevilDom, he just needs to make this one post on Devilgram to end said demon’s whole career

-I mean, who is he compared to him, Hmm? So don’t worry MC, scum like that don’t even deserve to breathe the same air as you :)

-That one time Mammon tried lifting you up the stairs and Asmo started shrieking, like put them down! Don’t manhandle them like that, poor human :(

Beel:

-I know I sound repetitive, but he would be an overall sweetheart to you no matter the circumstances

-If Mammon is not by your side, then Beel definitely is

-His big, scary aura and figure usually scares off any threat in a 10 mile radius

-Most demons don’t fancy being eaten by the Avatar of Gluttony, ya know?

-Idk why but I feel like he’d be the type to ask for oral consent every time he wanted to push you around

-He doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable :(

-Surprisingly also the type to lift you and your wheelchair whenever an obstacle gets in your way

-You basically weigh the same amount as a paper plate compared to him, so he has no problem doing so

-He doesn’t really understand your condition as well as Satan may do, but he’s trying his best

-You mean so much to him and he feels it’s only fair he learns more about your disability as a thank you for what you’ve done for him

-He has a rough time keeping up with you when it comes to stuff like physical therapy because he’s very unfamiliar with it but that doesn’t mean he’s not gonna help

-Of course, Beel believes that this is the second best way to show you how much he cares for you besides the obvious ‘I love you’

-Giving you a hand whenever you need his support the most

-That’s his way of saying “I’m not going to let you down. I want you to trust me, the same way I trust you.”

-And knowing him, he will try to do everything in his power to keep you safe and sound

-After a while, you’re bound to notice he’s the first one to pull you out of his brothers’ pranks before you have a chance to get hurt

-Beel is always the one handing you stuff from high places you can’t reach, without teasing you for it like Mammon might do

-Always the first one to remind you to get plenty of rest and to eat enough

-He wants to protect you and his brothers because he knows he failed to do so with Lilith so yeah, he’s a bit overprotective at times

-He doesn’t mean to be overbearing, but he gets so anxious knowing you’re by yourself

-After a few months of getting accommodated with him, your disability is no longer brought up in the conversation

-Because he doesn’t care that you are crippled and forced to use a wheelchair

-You are part of his family and he loves you no matter what

Belphie:

-He didn’t really care, even when you first met and his hatred for humans was at its very peak

-It didn’t matter that you had a disability

-All that mattered to him at the time was killing you to satisfy that deeply rooted need of vengeance inside of him

-Though he was sort of surprised his brothers didn’t get to you first

-In general, he’s pretty chill about you being crippled in both legs

-It takes too much effort to worry about your well-being 24/7 after all

-Surprisingly, he does keep an eye out for you if his siblings aren’t nearby

-It’s his redemption arc people, he’s trying to be nicer

-But he has such an irritating way of showing his affection for you

-Do not let him push you around

-He’s either going to a) fall asleep after 30 seconds and slump over you in the middle of RAD’s halls

-Or b) be annoying and fling your wheelchair in every direction possible just to piss you off

-He likes messing with you because you give him the best reactions and he thrives on that

-You’ve almost fallen off your wheelchair multiple times because of this asshole

-Not that he’d actually let you fall, he just wants to see how easily he can get you to yell at him

-Speaking of said wheelchair, like Mammon and Levi, he also loves using it when you’re not

-You’ve woken up to him curled up and asleep in that thing quiet often and he’s gotten in trouble over it every time with Lucifer

-But he doesn’t care

-And at this point, I don’t think even he knows whether he’s doing it to get a reaction out of you or because he somehow found a way to make himself comfortable there

-He would low key use you as a mode of transportation every time you go to RAD

-Just clings the damn wheelchair and almost topples both of you over

-“Belphie, there’s nothing stopping you from walking 😐”

-“Shh, just bring me to class and let me nap until then.”

-He doesn’t mention your legs but he still lays his head on your lap often

-Might make you hold him like a bride every time you stroll around the house

-It’s done out of love, I promise 😌😌

———————————

Al~

#obey me #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me imagines #obey me leviathan #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me satan #om #obey me headcanons #obey me hcs #paraplegia #⭐️ requests #🕯 general #☂️ demon brothers

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theres-an-impulstor-among-us · 3 years

Note

You didn’t have to give me that much of a compliment, gosh. Thank you though! Being able to share my ideas is one of my favorite things, and I’m glad you enjoy writing them!

This time I’ve got a normal Hermitcraft suggestion for you. It’s sewer cats (and bird) time!

The sewer society of hermits (Grain, Imp, Mr. Goodtimes, Bdoobs, and RenCat lol) is about to have another meeting to judge points and maybe do a big group prank. They’re happily chatting when they hear sniffling in the corner behind Scar’s spoiler wall. They check behind it to find a cam account that went missing at the beginning of the season (in this AU of mine), BadTimesWithScar. The group takes to comforting him, and also recruiting him into the sewer cats. Impulse gives him the nickname “Scap” based on Tango’s typo during the boomers job, and Bdubs decides to call him pancakes. (I’m a huge softie for BadTimes tbh, he’s just so angst-able and I will protect him with my life)

Hot take: the “Bad” in BadTimesWithScar’s name doesn’t mean evil, it means just generally bad at life. Poor Mr BadTimes :( Thanks for another great ask! Feel free to send more than one at a time if you have more than one idea! The more the merrier lol

…

“So we’re all in agreement with the points?” Grian asks, standing at the points board.

Everyone nods, but Bdubs mutters, “Still can’t believe I only got one point.”

“Bdubs, my dude, you’re lucky got ANY,” Ren snickers. “You literally moved six blocks.”

“She’s not gonna notice, though!” protests Bdubs. “You coulda given me a COUPLE more.”

“Bro, if you keep complaining, we’re gonna knock it down to three,” Grian says amusedly. “Anyway, now that the points are sorted, let’s discuss what our next big thing is. I think it’d be great if we could-.”

“Wait, wait, shh!” hisses Ren suddenly.

Everyone falls silent, their eyes fixed on Ren, who is looking sharply around the room, ears pricked.

“What is it?” Grian whispers.

Ren gestures for them to stay there while he creeps towards the giant wall of dirt that Scar has erected as a spoiler wall. He creeps closer, in the direction of the noise he heard earlier, and carefully peeks around the dirt wall.

He freezes as he spots what made the noise.

“S-Scar?” he calls shakily. “You’d better get over here. Quick.”

Frowning, Scar hops down from the table and rushes over to join Ren, closely followed by Bdubs, Grian, and Impulse.

They find a dishevelled figure wearing clothes very similar to one of their members huddled between the spoiler wall and the thing behind it. Tear tracks streak down his pale face, but there’s no mistaking the scar on his face.

“Oh my god,” breathes Scar. “B-BadTimes? How…? How did you get down here?”

BadTimes buries his face in his hands and lets out another whimper, the noise Ren heard earlier.

“Who is BadTimes?” asks Bdubs.

“My cam account.” Scar looks away guiltily. “I haven’t seen him since the very start of the season.”

“Hey, buddy,” says Impulse softly, kneeling down to BadTimes’s level. He reaches out his hand, as if trying to tame a scared cat. “Hey. Are you okay? Can you talk to me?”

After a moment, BadTimes lowers his hands slightly and stares at Impulse with frightened eyes. “Y-Yes.” His eyes flicker up to Scar. “P-Please don’t lock me up again.”

Grian immediately glares at Scar. “What did you do to him?”

“Nothing!” Scar says defensively. “Well, I-I may have… shut him away in a closet and forgotten about him for a few… ah… months.”

“What?!” Grian yelps. “Dude, locking your sentient creations in closets is a REALLY bad idea. Trust me; I found that out the hard way.”

“Okay, okay, I won’t put him back in there! But he’s gotta go SOMEWHERE.”

“Let’s adopt him!” says Bdubs, wrapping his arms around BadTimes. “He can be a Sewer Cat like us! We could even build him a little house down here or he can build it himself, whatever he wants to do.”

“I-I… um…” BadTimes hesitates. “Scar says I’m not very good at building.”

Scar hurriedly holds up his hands as he realises his friends are very close to kicking his butt. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry! You’re not bad at building, BadTimes; you just need more practise, that’s all.”

“Did you never teach him?” demands Grian. “He’s not gonna magically get better on his own, you know.”

Scar sighs quietly. “I know… I’ve made a lot of mistakes with him.”

Grian’s glare melts into a sympathetic look. “I get that.”

“Hey, if we’re adopting you, maybe you wanna choose a new name?” Bdubs suggests. “Unless you’re happy with BadTimesWithScar.”

BadTimes shakes his head immediately. “I-I want to change it.”

“Do you wanna come up with a new name?” asks Impulse kindly. “Or would you like me to?”

After a moment, BadTimes says, “P-Please can you?”

“Of course.” Impulse thinks for a few seconds. “I wanna call you Scap.”

“What?” Bdubs frowns, confused, until realisation finally dawns on him. “Wait, are you referring to that time the Boomers blasted Scar’s name into stone but Tango made a mistake with the ‘r’?”

Impulse grins and nods. “Yeah! What do you think, buddy?”

BadTimes takes a moment to think about this. Then he gives a small smile. “I like Scap. It’s a lot better than my old name.”

“Thanks,” Scar sighs. “I was the one who named you BadTimes.”

“Bro, who exactly would want to be named that?” Grian scoffs. “It’s a good name for a simple cam account but not for a sentient being.”

“I guess.”

“I’m gonna call you Pancakes,” Bdubs declares out of the blue. “Is that okay?”

“Um…” Scap gives a quiet laugh. “Y-Yeah, definitely. Why?”

“Dunno, just suits you. Plus it seems like the kind of nickname Keralis would give you. Ah, I can’t wait for you to meet the other Hermits!”

Noticing the slightly panicked look on Scap’s face, Grian laughs and nudges Bdubs aside. “Let’s start with getting him settled down here before we go crazy, okay? Scap, what kind of place would you like to live in? Let us know and we’ll help you build it.”

Scap stares at him in surprise. “You will?”

“‘Course. We want you to get better at building but we’re not just gonna shove you out the nest and make you do it on your own. Just let us know what you want and we’ll help you.”

Scap hesitates, unsure exactly how to react. He’s never been shown such kindness before by anyone, not even by his own creator. “I… I’ve always liked the idea of living in an underground mushroom house.”

“Ooh, I can help you there,” says Impulse excitedly. “I’ve been studying Stress’s mushroom houses and I think I can replicate the style. You wanna go get some blocks to start building? See if you can get more than Bdubs.”

“What?” Bdubs scowls. “Do you really have to make everything into a competition?”

Impulse smirks back. “Oh, yeah, you’re right. Sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed you’d have a chance at winning.”

As he hoped, a spark ignites in Bdubs’s eyes. “Oh, just you wait! I’m gonna get ALL the blocks!”

With that, he dashes off towards the exit, closely followed by Ren.

Grinning, Impulse takes off after him, beckoning to Scap. “C’mon, Mr Pancakes!”

Scap lets out a giggle and runs to catch up with his new friends. “Wait for me!”

As the four disappear through the tunnel, Grian glances sideways at Scar, who is gazing after them with a mixed expression. “You alright, Scar?”

“How did you handle this with your creations?” Scar asks quietly. “When they turned out to be… not what you expected or wanted them to be.”

Grian pauses for a moment. “You’d think making creations is a lot like building a house: it turns out exactly the way you envision it and you have full control over every aspect. But it’s not. It’s way more like having an actual child. You can teach them, help them grow and develop, be there for them when they need you, but ultimately, you can’t control who they are. All you can do is support them and make sure they become the best version of themselves that they can possibly be. Even if that’s far removed from what you originally wanted. Cuz it’s not up to us, is it? It’s not our lives, it’s theirs.”

Grian places his hand on Scar’s shoulder. “Scap needs you, dude. Please don’t give up on him the way I gave up on my ch- my creations.”

After a long pause, Scar nods. “You’re right, Grian. You’re always right. I gotta be there for him.”

“Yeah.” Grian smiles and pats his friend on the shoulder. “And I’ll help you out too. We Sewer Cats look after each other, don’t we?”

Scar laughs. “I keep forgetting I came up with that name. But yeah, we do. And I guess that includes BadTimes now.”

“Scap,” corrects Grian.

“Oh! Yes, yeah.” Scar shakes his head. “Oh man, it’s gonna take a while to get used to this.”

As Grian opens his mouth to reply, they hear Bdubs’s voice angrily screaming through the tunnel.

“Better go rescue Bdubs,” laughs Grian. “Come on, Scar.”

“Right behind you.”

#hermitcraft #bdoubleo100 #grian #bdubs #impulsesv #badtimeswithscar #goodtimeswithscar #sewer cats #rendog #Vaunna writes

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pwrlessobvious · 3 years

Text

hey there’s a long ass opinion about PTD under the cut bc apparently it triggered something in me, if you don’t care about bts and/or are here to hate don’t interact *mwah mwah*

don’t get me wrong i would DIE for bts and up until now i loved their american songs, i was the biggest apologist when my army friends were shitting on them. the american songs are funky and cool and give me serotonin and that’s all that matters tbh buttt. this has got to stop now for realsies.

i applauded hybe/bh and bts for wanting to prove that america is in fact racist and xenophobic (shocker) through releasing songs in both korean and english and seeing how they chart. of COURSE the english songs charted higher and are charting right now, Butter has just stayed its 7th week on #1. it’s a huge achievement and what they did with Dynamite was a big deal as well, so they have proved to the world the ugly truth that the language and the way the song is built do matter if you want to be as successful as white american artists and i LOVE that and i support that. both Dynamite and Butter have a simple structure, clear verses, bridges and chorus that are easy to identify, simple beats, the sound is similar to what america has known for decades, etc etc. they were both made to be played on the radio, they were both made with becoming summer anthems in mind, they are both simple and cheerful songs that people could listen to and smile and forget how horrible the world is right now, y e s. it’s fabulous and bts have given the people what they needed to hear. with PTD I understand that they wanted to make a song that would celebrate the end of the pandemic - that way, what started with Dynamite could sort of evolve and come to a close in a natural way. in that sense i can totally see why it needed to come out. but i’m mourning one thing and that’s the loss of quality.

there are fans who hated Dynamite, then they hated Butter even more and now under no circumstances can they get through the entire 3 and something minutes of PTD. i was a fan who really enjoyed Dynamite, liked Butter even better and now is extremely disappointed. so while some could say that it’s been getting progressively worse, i would say that none of the three were top notch bts we’ve been used to for the past 8 years but they weren’t tragic until now. with Dynamite, it was preceeded by MOTS7 that redefined what music is (except for the Sia feature) and brought the best bts song of all time (Black Swan). Dynamite was followed by BE, an entire comfort album of straight bangers. Life Goes On, like Dynamite, was made to comfort people, but it was written and done in a way that didn’t lack the typical bts vibe and artistry - not saying that Dynamite was bad, but just very different. more party and good time, less actual in-your-face “it’s going to be okay.” both were needed, both were needed to co-exist. made total sense.

then we got Butter and Butter is the PERFECT summer anthem and it would have been stupid of hybe not to want to follow their biggest US release thus far with another one for the summertime when chances of success are the largest. and it turned out to be really freaking cool; maybe the lyrics are a bit questionable but the sound makes up for what they lack. so: MOTS7 - Dynamite - BE - Butter. one proper comeback, one american single, then again and again. makes perfect sense. aaand now we got PTD. i’m not saying they’re jinxing the end of the pandemic but they totally are - i’m kidding ofc but ..also not? i just don’t get the timing. even the mv says 2022 and we’re currently halfway through 2021, so why was the song released right now? it feels like there’s a logical error here somewhere. maybe i’m missing something and need someone to enlighten me, but while the US has been successfully rolling out jabs, many if not most parts of the world are still hecking struggling. whatever progress there is, it’s small. but there is hope now bc of the vaccines, unlike last year, so yeah, okay. let’s sing about that hope for 2022 then. but I don’t get a hopeful vibe from the song at all. it’s like everything is over in the world the mv and the lyrics are presenting and suddenly everyone can go out and party and kiss each other and whatnot, and that’s simply not true. i know it probably sounds a bit ridiculous but that genuinely bothers me lol especially since both of the previous songs had a clear reason as to why they came into existence.

i guess i want that clear reason from PTD as well because I need to be reassured that this is just a phase, the american songs, the american lyrics, the american song structure, the exclusively american promo. you can make positive, light-hearted, funky songs and they can be good, but PTD just isn’t. and bts in my eyes are next level artists when it comes to sound, lyrics and choreography, so when i’m faced with the kind of creation that is PTD i can’t help but be disappointed, especially when we saw the light-hearted stuff twice already, three times if we include boy with luv.

let me be clear - i’m not expecting bts to be at the top of their creativity and the artistry that we’re used to all the time. i’ve always said that the world needs simple party songs, and i sincerely hope and believe that while bts release and promote these songs (that were not written by them as well) they get to rest and recharge to later release something that our brains won’t be able to comprehend after just one listen bc it will be that good. i want nothing more than the general public finally realising that bts are a bunch of super talented dudes who can dance super intricate choreos and sing the highest notes and rap the most quality verses, so when they succeed the most with and thus become most popular for songs like the three english ones, it really upsets me because i know what they can do. maybe the american general public have seen what they can do when they were promoting MOTS7, ON and Black Swan, maybe. idk, i’m not a specialist in the field, i’m not even american, but something tells me that no, they know them bc of Dynamite and now Butter. and i don’t think it’s good to be known for songs like that only. i’m afraid that they’ll need to redeem themselves one day because people will end up thinking they only do silly dancey-dancey songs and that’s really not fair. and ughhh it feels like armys look a bit stupid now because we’ve always said that we value bts for what it stands for, the message and the art and all the deep stuff, and now the general public will hear that and go ‘is that what you call art and deep lyrics?’ yeah. anyway, i know for a fact that this will not last forever and we will be getting a regular comeback soon. i’m happy that they get to rest creatively. i’m SO happy that they’re receiving the recognition they deserve, finally. i just hope people will be there to chart their korean songs when they release some too.

#i think this is valid criticism so don’t come at me saying i hate them when i don’t okay #or that i don’t like the song and i’m bitter #no #that’s not true #and i think this proves that it’s not true #but yeah don’t yell at me ok #i needed to get this off my chest #okay bye

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makeste · 4 years

Note

I’ve just realised it’s been over a year since you last listed your top 10 characters! Has anything changed since then?

a lot has changed! actually, every single ranking has changed from last time except for one (which you can probably guess, lol).

1. Bakugou (previous rank: 1)

yes, believe it or not, Bakugou is still my favorite. I’ll understand if you all need a moment to recuperate from the shock of this.

2. Deku (previous rank: 4)

hi, so. I really love Deku a lot. I think he is a great character and there’s a lot of subtlety and complexity to him that he doesn’t always get credit for. he is loving and kind, but he’s not a pushover. he has moments of deer-in-headlights anxiety when he’s in the spotlight or talking to celebrities (or girls), but then he’ll go and launch into a five-hour speech if someone mentions a topic he’s interested in. he’s very much aware of the huge burden that’s been placed on his shoulders, and is struggling to figure out how to become his own person (which is fucking hard, you guys; how many sixteen-year-olds do you know who have a solid, firm idea of who they are as a person and what it is about themselves that makes them unique individuals?) while still living up to All Might’s legacy. he’s smart and determined and capable of extraordinary things, but second-guesses himself and has a tendency to overthink everything he does. he is interesting!! and he doesn’t always get credit for being interesting! but he is! anyways Deku ilu.

3. Aizawa (previous rank: 2)

still the best. still so tired. the manga is tripling down lately on highlighting how awesome he is. childhood angst and guilt and trauma?? yes. kicking lots of ass?? hell yes. being outrageously sexy with his floating wavy hair and glowy red eyes and spending almost this entire arc in Eraser Mode while Horikoshi hopes to god no one remembers how he made it a Whole Thing after USJ that Aizawa supposedly couldn’t hold his quirk for long periods like that anymore?? oh, you bet. who is even gonna complain about it. you?? I sure am not. and last but not least, being the greatest dad in the world who’s willing to stab god in the face in order to stay alive to protect his children and continue to watch them grow?? fam. you goddamn know that is a YES WITH CAPITAL LETTERS. how can one character honestly be so great. how can he even contain it. he’s so powerful.

4. Todoroki (previous rank: 5/6)

Ochako slid all the way off my top ten list and I feel so bad about it. but she hasn’t had the spotlight for a long time, and meanwhile Shouto has had what feels like ARC AFTER ARC of being awesome and doing awesome things like becoming Bakugou’s Undisputed Best Friend, having the longest and purest canon romantic relationship in the series (I am of course talking about him/soba), and playing a key role in one of the most beautifully executed family arcs I have ever seen, with his conflicted feelings about his father that are so layered that THEIR LAYERS HAVE LAYERS. and meanwhile his quirk kicks as much ass as ever. remember that one time Shouto almost burned Tetsutetsu alive. remember that other time he fucking annihilated Ending (“GIVE ME BACK MY BROTHER”)?! and meanwhile he remains the goodest and purest child in the entire series, making sure Mt. Lady’s heart is okay, and offering his two friends internships without a second’s hesitation because THAT’S WHAT FRIENDS DO. it’s just what they do you guys.

5. Hawks (previous rank: n/a! welcome to the top ten kiddo.)

OH NO I LOVE A MURDERER WHAT A STUNNING INDICTMENT OF ME. send me off to jail. anyway so I have always liked Hawks, but the latest arc has sent him skyrocketing up through the ranks of my heart. not because of the murder thing, but... okay well but actually, it is because of the murder thing though. NOT BECAUSE I’M HAPPY HE KILLED A GUY WE ALL LOVED, jesus, but because of how well Horikoshi portrayed his struggle over it. he didn’t want to do it!! but he ended up having to in the end, and he paid one hell of a heavy price for it. and listen, but if you give me a character who is smart, who is compassionate, and who is one of the most mentally and physically capable characters we’ve seen in the series and yet simultaneously does not have even the slightest ounce of regard or self-preservation for his own mental health? a character who is tired, who is willing to make sacrifices up to and including the ultimate sacrifice for what he believes is the greater good? a character who is achingly alone and isolated in so much of what he has to go through, who doesn’t dare drop his guard ever, who’s not able or willing to share his burdens with anyone else? if you give me a character like that, and then ask me not to love him, it’s like. I am very sorry but I truly have no say in it at this point. he’s adopted. I’m sorry it’s the law.

6. Tomura (previous rank: n/a)

OH NO I LOVE TWO MURDERERS WHAT EVEN IS WRONG WITH ME. hahaha. so in between the time of now and when I last did a character ranking, Tomura had a flashback! and it was very traumatic! he was little and sweet and his dad was a dick and there was a lot of blood and gore and a dog died!! and then AFO was all “HELLO IT’S ME COME TO SWOOP IN AND ADOPT YOU AND ENCOURAGE YOU TO KILL STUFF AND ALSO HERE ARE YOUR DEAD FAMILY’S SEVERED BODY PARTS TO ADORN YOURSELF WITH SO YOU NEVER STOP FEELING MISERABLE.” and everyone sitting there reading was all, “well I’ll just come out and say it, I can sort of understand why he became a murderer now,” and we all agreed that yes, it did indeed make a great deal of sense, when you put it that way. anyway, so obviously you can’t not feel empathy toward the kid after all that, even if he is going around killing A WHOLE LOT MORE people now, and has basically gone batshit insane actually. I remain steadfast in my conviction that Tomura is not the actual final villain -- AFO is. and call me crazy, but in spite of everything, I still think this kid has a shot at redemption. it won’t be pretty, and it’ll be a long, long path, and he might not ever fully make it all the way, but he’s someone who’s been manipulated and used as a puppet his entire life, and I want him to have the chance to finally break free from that. hopefully he’ll get it.

7. Mirko (previous rank: n/a)

so previously this section just said “MIRKO!!!!!”, which I honestly think sums it up pretty well. I honestly can’t think of any other character who has come along and just slapped me straight across the face with their sheer awesomeness as much as her, though. every time she’s onscreen/on the page my face is just a huge grin the entire time. she is fearless. like, she’s the type of person who actually does laugh in the face of danger -- like that’s not just an expression, she will LITERALLY LAUGH. she is Peter Pan with a dagger to his throat, smiling and saying “to die would be an awfully big adventure.” she is someone who’s found her purpose in life and is thriving. Mirko has no time for your existential angst; she’s too busy kicking ass every minute of every hour of every day. I love her so, so much. thank you so much Horikoshi for being obsessed with her and making her the biggest badass in the whole series.

8. All Might (previous rank: 3)

I still adore him! he just has had next to nothing to do for what seems like forever, so the other characters who are still getting steady development are kind of just sneaking past him one by one. but he is still the absolute best. he cares so much. so, so, so, so much. he’s not always the most natural when it comes to being a teacher or a mentor, and he stumbles and makes mistakes, but he loves his kids. he cares about them so fiercely. and that’s far and away the most important thing, and it’s not even close. and he’s also just so endlessly self-sacrificing and constantly putting everyone else before himself, and it’s insane. he’s someone who is just constantly thinking, “how can I do more, how can I help more, what else can I do to try and make the world better” even as he stumbles along with half a lung, and struggles with his feelings of inadequacy and helplessness and feeling like it’s just still not enough. I want to give All Might the biggest hug in the world and tell him that it’s all right, that he did good, that the kids are going to be all right. when Aizawa told him “you being alive is enough” I almost had a breakdown tbh. anyway if I keep going I’m gonna talk myself into moving him back up the list and then I’ll have to rearrange this whole thing lol so suffice it to say, fuck yeah All Might.

9. Momo (previous rank: 7)

when is Momo gonna do more stuff, Horikoshi?? huh??! he does realize that whenever she does stuff it’s always amazing?? so why is she not just constantly doing amazing, awesome stuff all the time?? I don’t know, and frankly I’ve had just about enough of this. let Momo do stuff 2020. but I won’t talk about this anymore for now because I haven’t ready any chapter 278 spoilers and I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

(ETA: I HAVE READ CHAPTER 278 NOW AND ALL I CAN SAY IS YESSSSS!!! MOMO!!!! also I swear to god I genuinely had not seen any spoilers when I was writing this post lol, it was a total coincidence. I’m glad the “let Momo do stuff 2020″ campaign was so immediately successful though.)

10. Kaminari (previous rank: 8)

last but not least, my five-and-a-half-year-old traitor son, Kaminari Denki. he is just such a shining beam of light and life and goodness and chaos. there is this amazingly buoyant energy whenever he’s on the page that just fills me with love for him. I constantly just want to ruffle his hair, just, all the damn time. he is everybody’s friend, he loves them all so much, and he fearlessly calls Bakugou “Kacchan” heedless of the repercussions (OF WHICH THERE WERE NONE!!), and he sincerely tells Jirou that he’s in awe of her musical talents, and he wrecked his fingers learning to play guitar for her but he was happy to do it, and he was afraid to fight in the big ALL THE VILLAINS VS ALL THE HEROES battle because DUH!?! but he still did it anyway because he had to protect his friends. and his quirk and its side effects are constantly used for comic relief and not taken seriously at all (even though it’s actually insanely powerful holy shit), but he doesn’t care because he’s happy to make his friends happy. he’ll willingly be the butt of the joke if it means he gets to see them laugh. he just has such a big heart, and in all seriousness, if you think he’s the traitor I just don’t even know what to say to you.

so that’s it! Tokoyami, Ochako, Shinsou, Iida, and Sero would probably be the next five, with Endeavor, Toga, Mina, Jirou, and Mirio rounding out the top twenty. maybe not in that exact order but it’s close enough. really there are only like three characters in the series I actually truly dislike, so I’m honestly glad “top ten” is the general standard otherwise I’d be here all night running through them all lol.

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chimtaera · 4 years

Text

imagine prince jungkook.

adventure time!

jungkook isn’t the crown prince so outside of his princely duties he can go questing! exploring! adventuring!

of course his family doesn’t really approve of his activities, but they’ve basically struck up a bargain that he’ll attend court and such without making a fuss, as long as he gets to run around when he isn’t needed.

of course he has protection with him, the court approved putting together a little adventure party, which is basically just all his best knight friends, i’m sure you can guess who.

these guys have been together most of their lives, always getting in trouble as kids, climbing what they shouldn’t be climbing, fighting what they shouldn’t be fighting, eating what they- ok you get my point.

imagine a seamstress running frantically around after jungkook before an event because he always tears his clothing somehow.

or being chased out the kitchen before a big banquet with flour in his hair.

everyone loves him though.

he’s the baby of the palace, everyone dotes on him and lets him get away with mischief, ‘cause it’s cute.

and the people down in the villages love him too.

they’re always excited to see him ride out on an adventure, or to see him coming back form a quest.

and he’s often invited in for a drink at the taverns, to tell stories from one of his quests.

and if there’s any loot he shares it, because he doesn’t actually need any of the gold and jewellery.

boy is more likely to like, take a hedgehog he rescued with him as a pet, or like, keep a really round rock he found in a river when he stopped for water, than he is to hang onto any of the valuable stuff.

people in the tavern be like “ooh, look at all that gold.” and jungkook will be like “ok sure but guys this rock is so smooth, u gotta feel it.”

probably has separate room in the palace just for his adventure keepsakes, and he keeps it very organised and tidy.

oh and people write songs and poetry about jungkook and his brave knights’ many adventures, but the best songs are of course his own.

because, like any royal, jungkook is highly educated.

in everything from politic and war, to the arts.

and, like any good royal, he’s also a brilliant poet.

so how did you two meet? ok story time

you live in the woods somewhere far away, at the bottom of a mountain, just u and ur doggo.

you have a little cottage that’s been with your family in generations, it’s where you’ve grown up and you didn’t really know much else so you stayed.

you travel to the nearest villages if you need something, about a day’s journey, but you’ve never felt very welcome.

they’re not mean, it’s just- you’re an outsider, and an outsider you shall remain.

so your doggo wakes you up one morning and you’re like?? what is it

it’s clear the doggo has found something outside and desperately needs you to come see.

you’re like, did you find another baby bird that’s fallen out of its nest?? do i gotta raise a NOTHEr baby bird ?? istg

the answer is no, but also yes.

jungkook looks to be fast asleep in the moss and soft heather, he’s got a few scratches, but he’s got lovely pink nose and lips and seems quite healthy.

you gently prod him awake like, u ok my guy ?? you’re gonna catch a cold come have some tea.

he’s a little spooked at first, with his big round eyes snapping open to stare at you, rendering you a little speechless at first.

but eventually you explain that you live here at the bottom of the mountain and that your dog just have smelled him because they woke you up to come find him.

doggo takes the opportunity to introduce themselves, you know, the way dogs do, and that’d the first time you hear jungkook giggle, and suddenly you understand what your grandma was warning you about when she said to stay away from the pretty boys.

you invite him to come warm himself in your cottage, you just put a log on the fire before going out, so it should be warming up by now.

he’s like umm uh sure

and you’re not sure why he’s so hesitant, you’re not a very intimidating figure even though you live in the woods by yourself.

but then as the two of you start making your way back to your cottage you start to realise he has some difficulty keeping up with you.

it’s dark, but you still se him grimace when you turn to look for him.

“oh no, you must be hurt!” how silly of you, why else would he be sleeping in the woods behind your house.

“ah, no it’s- i’m just, uh... yeah. okay, yes.”

turns out he’s twisted his ankle falling from his horse, and the way down the mountain in the night has only made it worse.

you help support him the rest of the way back, much to his embarrassment.

as you sit him by the fire and make tea and a little breakfast he explains that he was on his way back home from his quest when he lost his companions, and later his horse when it got spooked.

when he finally got to the bottom of the mountain, which had taken him almost all night, he was exhausted and fell asleep as soon as he sat down to rest a little.

he seems a little embarrassed, so you tell him it’s the sort of thing that could happen to anyone, and maybe you tell him that story about how you fell down the mountain as a child and almost scared your grandmother to death, but by some miracle you survived with barely a scratch.

anyway, he’s lucky you found him.

jungkook asks how far the nearest village is. his friends will be looking for him and perhaps he can find a horse there, or send word of his whereabouts.

you tell him it’s about a day’s walk and he’s not going anywhere on his ankle, it needs at least a few days rest, but he’s welcome to stay with you in the meanwhile.

in that case his friends will probably go back home, and gather a party to come search for him, it might take a few days.

again, he’s embarrassed but very thankful, and you find it adorable.

he is very cute actually.

like super handsome, he’s tall and seems strong, he’s so well-spoken and well-mannered he seems almost otherworldly to you, but he has a shyness to him, and a playfulness, and the way he takes everything in with his wide, enthusiastic eyes really adds to his boyish charm.

as the sun comes up you get some water so he can wash up, and help clean the scratches on his face and neck.

he’s actually?? so pretty ?? it’s very distracting, you’ve never seen anyone that looks like this and especially when he blushes wow

you think it’s just because he’s embarrassed, but in actuality it’s because you’re really close and kinda very cute and you smell so nice?? like earthy and warm and dried flowers and herbs.

you spend your day like you usually would, but with jungkook helping out where he can, like chopping wood because he can do that seated.

and it’s so nice to have his company tbh, you two talk about everything and nothing, and in the evening you make dinner, and sit by the fire in the dark.

and that’s when he starts humming.

and you’re like?? omg what is this

you’ve only ever heard your grandmother sing, or like drunk people in taverns, and you only know a handful of songs so this is new!!!

you ask him to sing for you, and he’s a little flustered but he does so gladly.

and it’s a m a z i n g omg let me tell you

imagine sitting by the fire? in a little cottage miles away from anything? cozied up with your doggo and a cup of tea? and jungkook? singing? songs about epic battles and tragic romances and awesome adventures?

you make him sing every song he knows and eventually you ask to hear some of them again, and you two sit up sooo late sharing songs and stories.

jungkook never mentions he’s a prince though.

you let him have the bed and sleep in a chair by the fire that night, although it takes a while to convince him.

another day goes by like that, and you’ve come to really enjoy his company.

you know he has to leave, but you know it’s going to be strange to be so alone again when he does, and you find yourself wishing he could stay forever.

you were never discontent with your life, but you realise you like sharing it with someone.

that night he insists you sleep in the bed, and after a little arguing you agree, but only if he'll sleep in it too.

and he’s very flustered but he agrees and you pretend you’re not flustered too.

you two sat up until late again, talking and singing, but it’s hard to fall asleep with all the butterflies in your stomach, and he smells so nice??

like, you don’t know what expensive smells like.

but that’s what he smells like.

just the lingering remains of exotic spices and perfumed oils.

it’s really nice to wake up next to jungkook.

like, really, really nice.

like, your heart swells with warmth and fluff and it feels like it’s gonna burst or do a dance or something so you have to get out of bed, and only watch him sleep for a very brief minute.

at breakfast you notice that one of the scratches on his forehead looks a little inflamed, so you go out and pick some healing herbs while he chops more wood.

you’re both very quiet as you apply the paste you’ve made of the herbs to the cut.

he’s sitting in the chair, you standing over him, and watches you so closely with his shiny rounds eyes that it gets very hard to focus.

as you finish up you meet his gaze and find it impossible to pull away like you had intended to do.

without a word, like magnets, the two of you are drawn to one another and meet in a kiss.

carefully, he wraps his arms around you and scoops you into his lap, and you in turn wrap your arms around his shoulders and deepen the kiss.

and then the doggo barks.

you pull away from each other but can’t look away, just smiling shyly at one another for a moment before the dog barks again, and you decide you should probably check it out.

outside, you call the doggo and they appear through the trees, followed by jungkook’s search party.

you feel a little forlorn as they greet one another as old friends and you realise you will have to say goodbye to jungkook already.

but you knew it would happen eventually, so you suck it up.

“are you ready to leave, your majesty?”

“your majesty?” because of course he is, i mean, look at him.

cat’s outta the bag.

jungkook realises all too late that he has to leave you too, and makes a hurried excuse that he has to fetch something inside, to get you alone.

once you’re alone he kisses you passionately and tells you in a rush that he’s a prince, that you are the most enchanting person he has ever met and that he will return to you as soon as he can, that while he is gone he leaves with heart with you.

and then he leaves.

and you don’t know this but when he comes home he writes many sonnets and sings many songs about you, and your little cottage in the woods, by the foot of the mountain.

so much so that he begins a whole new movement in literature, a genre idealising the simple life, chopping wood, gathering herbs in the woods and raising baby birds, all with the one you love, miles away from anyone or anything.

and when he comes back to see you he brings you a horse, so you can come and see him whenever you want.

#jungkook #jungkook scenarios #jungkook imagines #bts scenarios #BTS au #bts imagines #bts reactions #kpop scenarios #kpop reactions #kpop imagines #bts fluff #jungkook fluff #kpop fluff

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aqpippin · 4 years

Note

For things you said: 16 and more jankie pls 😊

16 - things you said with no space between us

I really am living vicariously through these prompts tbh 🥺 I’m soft and am a huge jankie + crygi simp 🤧🥰✨

Daisy Goode-Methyd’s first day away from her moms occurred when she was only eight weeks old, with Gigi and Crystal finally succumbing to Jan pressuring them into their first baby-free day since Daisy’s arrival.

Jackie’s eyes had bulged out of her head when she saw how much ‘essential’ baby equipment was brought into her and Jan’s apartment that morning.

‘We’re only having her for a few hours, right?’ Jackie had asked, watching as Gigi assembled a portable bassinet in the living room, ‘it’s not like we’re keeping her.’ Jan slapped her arm playfully, shushing her with a low giggle. Judging by the number of bottles Crystal was packing into the fridge, anyone would have thought that the Cox family had a new addition.

Jan had all but pushed the new moms out the door, assuring them that they’d be fine and that she would call if she needed anything. Jackie looked down at Daisy, who stared back up at her from the bassinet with wide, brown eyes. Jan was smitten, scooping the tiny brunette up in her arms and breathing in the fresh baby scent. She was in absolute heaven.

***

Jackie and Jan had gone into the day expecting very different things. Jan had always loved children - she had always been maternal, and she often stated that she was simply ‘born to be a mom’. She would be a platinum blonde PTA wet dream - homemade baked goods and all. Jackie, however, had her reservations. Babies were loud, messy, and terrifying. She had barely held Daisy before, let alone looked after her. Jackie knew that motherhood was something that she would tackle one day, after she had achieved everything on her to-do list (and decided that she was finished unpacking her issues regarding her own mother with her therapist). It was simply something Jackie couldn’t envision happening for at least a few more years.

Nonetheless, both Jackie and Jan experienced things they did not expect during their day with their favourite (and only) godchild.

Jackie did not expect to actually find taking care of a baby fun, her motherhood-driven anxiety seemingly disappearing for the majority of the day. If you had asked Jackie at 9am where her expectations for the day sat - she would have told you that the bar was on the floor. Hence her pleasant surprise when she found herself enjoying Daisy’s company. However, she did not have the ability to swallow her pride and admit her contentment to Jan, sneering the occasional ‘shut up’ when Jan caught her smiling or making funny faces at the small child. Daisy didn’t whine the way Jan did when Jackie started watching another episode of Star Trek, and she listened contently to Jackie’s existential dread. She also happened to have a bottle in her mouth on both occasions, but that was something Jackie chose to overlook.

***

Jan did not expect the 6pm meltdown. Daisy was inconsolable - screaming, fat tears rolling down her red cheeks. Crystal joked about how much of a bitch witching hour was, but Jan always thought she was just being funny. There was a part of the blonde that regretted telling Gigi and Crystal that they would be fine for a few more hours, that they had everything under control. But a bigger part of Jan knew that Gigi and Crystal not only needed this break, they deserved it - and as a result, Jan knew that she and Jackie would just have to work together and sort this out themselves. Daisy was fed, bathed and changed - and yet the girl was screaming as if her aunts had neglected her and her mommies were never coming back.

“What does Google say?” Jan asked, rocking Daisy in her arms and trying to coax her into taking a pacifier with no avail. Jackie felt like she had scrolled through every mommy blog that existed, and she was yet to find some new information, “Jacks, maybe we should just call them.”

“No way,” Jackie refused, she was a woman on a mission, and she sighed with relief when she finally found a somewhat reputable help website, “got something. This one says she’s overtired and overstimulated. Also just try holding her against your chest.” Jan nodded to no-one in particular, cradling Daisy closer to her as Jackie turned off all the lights and the television, only the soft pinks and golds of sunset bleeding through the closed blinds. The tiny child in Jan’s arms still refused to settle, Jan humming softly as she stared blankly at Jackie for help.

“Turn that ugly little white noise thing machine on, I have a plan.” Jackie instructed, pointing to the white, cloud-shaped device sitting on their coffee table.

“Hearing you say that isn’t as comforting as you think it is.” Jan whispered harshly, flicking the switches on and listening as the sound of the traffic on the streets below them was slowly drowned out by the sound of artificial rainfall.

“You’re gonna think this is stupid, and I swear to God if you so much as laugh.” Jackie mused, walking back into the living room in just a sports bra and sleep shorts. She repositioned the soft blue muslin wrap in Daisy’s bassinet, motioning for Jan to bring her over so Jackie could swaddle her. Jan abided wordlessly, watching in silence as Jackie successfully wrapped and pacified the tiny brunette before laying on the couch with Daisy’s head on her chest. The screaming had finally subsided, and if Jan couldn’t hear the white noise machine she would have sworn she’d gone deaf. She stood in awe, looking down at her wife who was softly stroking Daisy’s back with one hand and texting with the other.

“Come snuggle before she gets too settled.” Jackie sighed, making just enough room between herself and the back of the couch for Jan to cuddle into her side. Jan didn’t need to be asked twice. It was a tight squeeze, but it was so sickeningly domestic Jan didn’t care. Even Jackie found peace in the overwhelming cosiness, long limbs entangled and soft baby breaths making her heart beat just that little bit quicker.

“She’s so gorgeous. Like a little ray of sunshine. And after all that, she just wanted her auntie Jackie,” Jan cooed, nestling her head into the space between Jackie’s neck and shoulder. The angle was just enough for Jan to be able to see the slight smile resting upon Jackie’s face, “how’d you even think of doing this anyway?”

“I remember Crystal talking about it once,” Jackie turned her head so she could look down at her wife before pressing a few soft kisses to Jan’s forehead, “apparently your heartbeat is nature’s white noise, and body heat does wonders with babies.” The look of awe on Jan’s face only intensified, and she could feel a swarm of butterflies flapping in her tummy. Ever insightful, Jackie was quick to notice Jan’s gaze.

“What’s that look for? What’s going on in that pretty blonde head of yours?”

“I can’t wait to do this for real with you,” Jan sniffled, wiping a few happy tears from her cheeks, “I know you don’t think it’s true, but you’ll be a good mom.” Jackie basked in the glow of Jan’s praise, holding Jan’s hand and squeezing in silent thanks.

“Let’s have one.” It was said so simply - no fuss, no dramatic and sudden realisation. It just felt right.

“Really?” Jan was practically beaming, the words she had been patiently waiting to hear finally being thrown into the universe, “you’re really ready?”

“I don’t know if I’ll ever be 100% ready,” Jackie mused, pausing to coo softly at Daisy as she began to stir, “but I want this. I want our own little piece of heaven. And I know as long as I have you, I can do anything.”

“You’re such a softie.” Jan giggled, snuggling further into Jackie’s side. She let her mind run wild, let herself imagine being in the exact same position in a year’s time. She found comfort in the heat radiating off Jackie’s exposed skin, and drifted off to the sound of Jackie’s heartbeat thrumming softly in her ear.

Jackie laid on the couch in silence, her own imagination running wild at the thought of what the next year would bring. She smiled lazily, eventually shushing Gigi and Crystal as they let themselves into the apartment.

“Ain’t this a sight for sore eyes?” Crystal giggled, taking photos as Jackie rolled her eyes.

“Was she a Goode girl?” Gigi asked, scooping her daughter up and cradling her in her arms.

“The best,” Jan chimed in groggily, rubbing her eyes but not moving from her spot on the couch, “a little slice of heaven.”

#asks #junosjukebox #things you said prompts #pippin writes #jankie #i said tooth rotting and self indulgent... so here we are #its a long setup but fuck i think its worth it #also mom!crygi ?!#a concept #im working on a mom!jankie drabble atm and when i got this prompt i was so excited bc i knew i could slot two ideas together #this just feels ✨right✨#hlwily verse

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firesfelt · 3 years

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afternoon, all ! finally getting my last ( for now... i already have Temptations ) intro up, and hopefully without a rushed ending because i suddenly have to do something lmao. while i’m not Wild about my intro graphics in general ( why does this one lowkey look stretched, for a start... ) but the fact that that ‘o’ is perfectly circling amanda’s eye ? an absolutely accident but *chef’s kiss* nonetheless. i’m writing this up while saving rp icons, so let’s see if i can multitask !!

( amanda seyfried, 30, cis woman, she/her ) AISLING O’CONNOR was seen listening to HAPPY BY LEONA LEWIS on their way to DIETICIAN. AISLING is known to be OPEN-MINDED & UNFORIGVING.

➜ so first thing’s first, aisling is pronounced ‘ash-ling’ ( or ash-lin depending on your accent/whether you drop your ‘g’s or not ) and although it would make my life so much easier when it comes to typing if she did, she really doesn’t take well to anybody calling her ‘ash’ ( i’m up for the challenge though ! give me someone in her life who can finally get away with shortening her name !! she doesn’t tolerate nicknames at all but can we change her ? let’s see ! )

➜ and with a name like aisling o’connor, i’m sure y’all really don’t need three guesses as to where she’s from. she was born in belfast, and is the oldest of six sisters -- all of them blonde, and all of them beautiful ( would it be obnoxious to submit wc’s for all of them ? possibly... will i do it anyway ? perhaps... ) she comes from a very family orientated family, so when her parents wanted to move the family out of ireland due to the conflict at the time, it wasn’t surprising that aisling’s aunt, uncle, and cousins came too, as well as her darling nanna.

➜ aisling landed in huntsville at the age of six, but you best believe her accent is still just as prominent now as it was while running around belfast. as the oldest sister, she took on a lot of responsibility within the household, helping to raise the little ones with a roll of her eyes a each request, but also while being easily ignored. her parents were in no way neglectful, but with five smaller children to look after, their focus simply wasn’t on aisling.

➜ this meant that aisling fell through the cracks a little, and issues that began to surface as a teenager went unnoticed. while she never actually had a problem with her weight, teenagers can be wildly cruel and the societal pressures of looking a certain way can lead to young minds being warped, so aisling was very aware that she looked different to her peers. she was more... thicc/curvy/buxom, as a way to put it.

➜ attention might not have been drawn to her body as much if her interests were different. aisling spent her childhood and teenage years in dance classes, drama workshops, and singing lessons, all with the goal of training in musical theatre and going on to become an actress. there was a certain body type that surrounded her, and it wasn’t one she possessed, herself.

➜ it never became a problem, though, until she did go to college for musical theatre. her parents wanted all six of their girls to go to university, and they promised they’d pay what they could towards it as long as they went. they’d support any course, any major, just please go to university. however, aisling dropped out after two years. teachers, professors, agents, casting teams, they all had something to say, something to critique, something to jab at, and it lead to aisling’s self-image crumbling to the point of severe unhappiness, and developing an unhealthy relationship with food. constantly being told to drop ten pounds, as one can imagine, had a pretty gnarly effect on her.

➜ while she knew it would be possible to make it anyway, to prove the industry wrong, to make change, to represent different body types so young girls in the future don’t have to doubt themselves like she did, aisling decided her own mental health was both too fragile to do that, and more valuable than doing that.

➜ i feel like i’m going on about this a bit too much lmao, so i’m gonna wrap it up a bit: she was able to recover from the disorded eating that formed as a result, and discovered a newfound passion about nutrition, and was able to care about it without obsessing. she really wanted to form new habits around food and body image, and realised that her perspective and beliefs actually went way back to childhood, and it then extended into wanting to help other people. eventually, aisling went back to school and studied to become a dietician, which she now is. she has a special interest in helping young woman recover from disorded eating patterns and develop a healthy relationship with food and their body, and stomping all over diet culture, but she sees all kinds of clients in general.

➜ so life has obviously taken a very different turn for her, but she’s really kind of,,, okay with that at this point ? it is what it is, and that pathway really didn’t suit her. she didn’t have the skin for the industry --- or maybe the industry shouldn’t require her to have such thick skin, but it’s in the past now.

➜ also, p.s, i really don’t want it to come off like i think that there’s no place for women in theatre that don’t have sutton foster’s body, y’know ? that ain’t it !!!! it’s more,,, the absolutely ridiculousness of the pressure actresses have to look a certain way, esp. in theatre where if you’re not really slim, but you’re not big enough for roles like madame thernadier/tracy turnblad/nadia mcconell/martha dunstock/etc, there’s no place for you ? or people act like there’s no place. also don’t want it to come off bad in that,,, obviously at the end of the day, aisling is a thin woman that’s a bit,,, curvy ? like oh poor thin white woman ? that ain’t it, that isn’t what i’m trying to do jshsbss. d’you get me ? tryin to comment on how the industry can be a bit Shit, without making it out like little white cis women are the ones discriminated against. hopefully y’all get me sjhnbssbs

➜ also, when i was Creating aisling, i was originally going to make her older, and was gonna use keri russell, which is a Fun Time. i absolutely love keri though so don’t be surprise if i pop up with a keri fc later on down the line, lmao.

➜ in terms of personality, i feel like the two traits i picked for her app are a little, like, contradictory in a way ? but i love characters with conflicting personality traits. she’s very open-minded, easy to talk to, very accepting, etc ( she’s kinda like a therapist in that when you talk to her, she’ll just kind of nod and not show any kind of,, Reaction either way, she’s just Observing until it’s her turn to speak. she’s just taking everything in and Receiving without judgement for the most part ) but when she’s personally hurt, in a way that directly impacts her ( usually related to her family, tbh ) there is,,, no forgiving. she’ll hear you out, and maybe be able to move on from it, but forgiveness for the big, big things is r a r e.

➜ like how gwen is always sort of,, Faking happiness, i feel like aisling is always sort of chasing happiness ? she always wants to do what’s best for herself, and loves and respects herself deeply, so she’s always making the choices that are more likely to lead to long-term happiness, even if it bloody well hurts in the meantime ---- like giving up acting.

➜ i feel like while emika is just a loner in general who can’t handle more than fwb situations and one night stands, and gwen doesn’t have the time to form proper relationships with people due to her shift work, aisling is just really, really unlucky in love. like, for whatever reason, things just don’t work out, or turn sour, or just... fall apart. there’s a long line of exes and flings, people she took home to her parents and people she thought it best not to, all of which ending in tears.

➜ at least she has her bunny rabbits, though. they’ll never let her down. their names are sondheim & shwartz, and they are her pride and joy.

➜ her family play a massive role in her life, and she doesn’t know any differently and wouldn’t want to. her nanna is, as you can imagine, really quite old at this point, and deteriorating health-wise, but the whole family band together to keep her well and try and keep her mind active.

➜ in terms of connections and plotting, again, i’m really open. i’m willing to give absolutely anything a go and try and work stuff out. i’m also always open to hearing ideas for plots people really want and seeing if any of my characters fit. but for loose ideas for now: failed relationships & exes ( there’s lots of room there ), clients ( definitely don’t have to have issues with food necessarily ! she also sees people for things like dietary restrictions due to allergy or recently diagnosed illness like diabetes or pcos or w/e, pregnancy, folks who just want to create a meal plan that makes their body feel its best, picky eating in kids, etc ! ) people she went to school with, other theatre-y folks to bond with, honestly absolutely anything.

#sero.intro #intro ➜ aisling.#about ➜ aisling.#body image tw #eating disorder tw

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cisthoughtcrime · 4 years

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just watched the latest Westworld episode (s3e5) and want to braindump some thoughts about this season as I continue to procrastinate, so spoilers under the divide. if any of y’all watch westworld, would be interested to hear your thoughts too.

ok gonna try to keep this short and not overcritical but probably gonna fail on both counts.

I’m still definitely enjoying watching it and I’m likely gonna keep going until it ends, but it doesn’t feel like it’s the same show anymore so much as a spin-off. At first i thought it was just the fact that so little of it is taking place inside the park and the cast has been decimated, but this episode made me realise that s3 has been so unoriginal compared to the original premise. (again: still enjoying it, still watching on it, not shitting on it for the sake of a superiority trip. There are a lot of derivative shows I really enjoy but Westworld isn’t usually one of them).

the original premise’s underlying subject was subtle and existential and imho was very good about laying out the ingredients for the viewer to draw their own conclusions about what the show was trying to say (from the big philosophical questions like “what is humanity/consciousness/free will anyway?” to the implicit societal critiques like “morality is performative and when no one’s looking humans act different”).

I think what’s bugging me about s3 is that we finally broke out of westworld and we’re in a futurescape i’ve seen a thousand times before in scifi.

The downtrodden ‘different’ (white male) outcast disillusioned with The System and omnipresent surveillance who meets the sexy motorcycle-wearing black-leather-clad badass woman who saves him from his mediocrity and validates his disillusionment and recruits him to help dismantle the system and free the sheeple? Check.

The reclusive European gazillionaire who owns an island, has a seemingly-self-contained tragic backstory that will no doubt have one or two vestigial elements that come into play at pertinent times to blindside the audience and/or main character, and espouses his dream of a utopia derived from his trauma but that isn’t really a utopia? Check.

Everything is automated but people are still empty inside so everything the rich do to poke their ennui with a stick is the same ol’ combination of colourful hypersexualisation/orgies/prostitutes, sadism, and synthetically-made drugs that do whatever tf the writers think will play best visually while brushing off the chemistry of it all with whatever the newest version of ‘flux capacitor’ is? Check.

That’s not to say these tropes are all necessarily scorched earth. I mean, worked for The Matrix and Altered Carbon and whatever. I’m gonna try to wrap this up by synthesising what it is that actually bugs me about this in Westworld S3 specifically:

i said earlier that previously Westworld was good about talking around the core concepts and plot, leaving us to infer the patterns and parallels (which tbh is kinda what i credited for the show’s popularity, ie the fact that there was so much to discuss and so many connections for the audience to make in such a creative world of philosophical and moral questions that ofc people would latch onto it and hypothesise wildly). But eg in this episode, when Dolores sends everyone their profiles, the human-host parallels spoke for themselves and seeing people’s reactions in the streets reinforced so much (base human nature, free will, the validity of the hosts’ emotional reactions, flawed attempts to standardise reality at the expense of individuality) but Bernard softballs it in with “they’re breaking their loops,” which hamhandedly shoves the “ooooooo humans have been the automated drones all along, that’s wack man” down our throats as if that hadn’t been a staple of speculative fiction since before Aldous Huxley and as if it weren’t the sort of blatantly fucking obvious thing you or the person watching with you would gasp aloud after a twist or reveal. Not saying I disagree with the criticism of complacent routine, it’s just... we get it already and we got it since whatever grade school essay we had to write on Orwell or The Giver, no? There’s also the “human over-reliance on tech” critique which has been there since S1, but until now it was kinda baked into the background of the main satirisation of hubris in the face of mortality and self-knowledge; now ‘human over-reliance on tech” is the exact weakness that the show keeps overexplaining has opened the door to human extinction.

sidenote: twice so far they’ve alluded to the human ‘real world’ being a simulation (Maeve in War World and Liam’s stoned friend on that rooftop bar), so if this season’s big twist is that the real world is just one of the ziptillion simulations run by the Serac’s machine I might just stop watching and pretend it ended after s1, esp if part of the twist is that Dolores or Maeve somehow merge themselves into the fabric of the simulation/become one with it. don’t even get me started on if serac is a host bc what a cop-out that would be.

I’m setting aside some of my other issues with the show to focus on how weirdly narrowed/streamlined/hemmed-in this season has been. i really want to like caleb but ffs his whole arc so far is simultaneously far too recognisable and far too self-insert-gratifying when the only new thing added to his stock character is the fact that Aaron Paul is playing him now instead of Sam Worthington or Jake Gyllenhall or whichever from the parade of recognisable-action-actors who are Misunderstood and Pouty until sexy miss unreadable fulfills his call-to-adventure fantasy complete with kiss/sex either during or immediately after a big fight scene.

Now that the rich intriguing world we started in has been largely explained and almost entirely killed off, we’re left with loyalty to a few fave characters in this (admittedly aesthetically pleasing and coherent, but still) standard vision of the future, where we already know Dolores’s story and motives and are kinda waiting for Caleb to catch up, and the only questions left really are kinda linear by Westworld standards (what’s Dolores’s plan, what’s gonna happen to each of the characters, like basic unanswered questions in any plot), and they keep recycling the same plot points (’oh they’re a host too?’ or ‘this host can’t trust their own thoughts/memories/actions because they’ve been damaged or tampered with’ but now kinda cheapened bc the setting is different and no one in the show expects them to be hosts but everyone in the audience does).

TLDR

There is nothing special or specific about this future-world that connects it to Westworld. A futuristic theme park of hyperrealistic humanoid AIs designed to facilitate the consequence-free catharsis of the stunted rich elite could be transplanted into any technologically-advanced future where extreme wealth-disparity and omni-surveillance are still problems, but that describes basically every scifi show that isn’t about space or apocalypse. But that’s part of what made the park such a strong concept, and also why i expected/wanted them to have come up with a more original outside world. If the park can fit anywhere, why did they choose such an uninspired world? It just feels like these creative interesting characters left this creative interesting world, took a wrong turn at Albequerque, and ended up in an extra-preachy Black Mirror fan script.

and again: i don’t hate this season, i’m still watching and enjoying, but i’m really disappointed by the reveal of this world.

#westworld #season 3 spoilers

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littlespoonevan · 4 years

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OTP Tag

I was tagged by @whaticameherefor, thank you!! <3

Let’s go chronological order with the Real otps and then add whoever else i can think of lmao. Putting some of this under a cut bc it got long!

Stiles Stilinski/Derek Hale (Teen Wolf)

Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard (All For the Game)

Isak Valtersen/Even Bech Naesheim (Skam)

Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich (Shameless)

Nick Miller/Jessica Day (New Girl)

Allison Argent/Scott McCall (Teen Wolf)

Otis Milburn/Maeve Wiley (Sex Education)

David Rose/Patrick Brewer (Schitt’s Creek)

Alexis Rose/Ted Mullins (Schitt’s Creek)

Eva Mohn/Jonas Noah Vasquez

1. Do you remember the episode/scene/chapter that you first started shipping 6?

Oh man, I mean I shipped them from the beginning but episode 5 “The Tell” was sort of my holy grail episode in terms of content for scallison and thus, when i fell in love. Also special shoutout to the scene in “Heart Monitor” when Allison holds Scott’s hand under the table and it helps keep him in control and we find out she’s his anchor. I devoted my whole heart then and there <3

2. Have you ever read a fanfic about 2?

Yes, extensively lmao

3. Has a picture of 4 ever been your screen saver/profile picture/tumblr screen saver?

Haha nah, i’m not really an “otp as my screensaver” sort of person.

4. If 7 were to suddenly break up today, what would your reaction be?

Well I mean everyone seems to be doing their damndest to keep them apart in the first place so i need them to actually get together first sakdjfhksa but yeah, let’s just say my response to the season 2 finale was “oh nooooooooo” which basically answers this question lol.

5. Why is 1 so important?

Ugh, because. Their dynamic was so, so good and it came out of Nowhere. Like it was one of those relationships that sort of sneaks up on you like, holy shit these two bounce off each other really well????? And the dichotomy of them shit-talking each other All The Time but then continually sacrificing themselves for one another and taking turns saving each other’s lives was so fascinating to watch. Especially as the shit-talking became decidedly more fond as the seasons went on and you realised they’d genuinely started to care for each other. We could’ve had it all and I’m still bitter lmao.

6. Is 9 a funny ship or a serious ship?

Definitely funny but in their moments of sincerity were so incredibly sweet <3

7. Out of all the ships listed, which ship has the most chemistry?

Oooooh this is hard sakdjhsjh I mean, I ship them all because I feel like they have chemistry and each relationship is different. I think I’ll say the skam ships just bc isak/even and eva/jonas legitimately felt like real couples to me? like if you told either pairing was together irl I’d believe you, y’know? (there’s 3 or 4 others that are strong contenders though!!!)

8. Out of all your ships listed, which ship has the strongest bond?

Oof. Again, this is really hard. I’m inclined to say Ian/Mickey bc I think they have the longest history of any of the ships I’ve listed here and it just runs so deep, y’know? Like to quote mickey, they’re under each other’s skin. So in that regard, I think they’d have the strongest bond. (The same could sort of be said for andrew/neil in terms of what they’ve gone through together too though) But I feel like nick and jess have an amazing bond too in the sense that they really, really are best friends beneath everything and you can See that in the way they love each other.

9. How many times have you read/watched the 10’s fandom?

Oh my god i have no idea. I’ve definitely rewatched all of skam once (possibly twice?) but I’ve rewatched individual clips/episodes a million times over. The morning the 8.10 kitchen scene came out i just stayed in bed for like 3 hours rewatching it over and over again askdjhcs That’s kind of the beauty of the clip format though in terms of rewatching favourite scenes :’)

10. Which ship has lasted the longest?

Okay I’m assuming this means like, stayed together the longest? In which case that goes to Ian and Mickey again, I believe (or Nick and Jess if you include the 3 year time jump)

11. How many times, if ever, has 6 broken up?

Once and I’m Still angry lmao

12. If the world was suddenly thrust into a zombie apocalypse, which ship would make it out alive, 2 or 8?

Oh my god 2 lmfao i love david and patrick but i’m p sure andrew and neil were built for a zombie apocalypse sadjhasjh

13. Did 7 ever have to hide their relationship for any reason?

Mm they’ve sort of hid their feelings for each other???? Like obviously not just from each other but also from other people like Ola etc

14. Is 4 still together?

Yep and happily married :D

15. Is 10 canon?

YES. Thank you Julie Andem and Marlon Langland!!!!

16. If all 10 ships were put into a couple’s Hunger Games, which couple would win?

Jfc. It’d be a toss up between Andrew/Neil, Stiles/Derek and Ian/Mickey

17. Has anybody ever tried to sabotage 5’s ship?

Yes, Schmidt did for like one ep and it was hilarious but also ended in Nick telling Jess how he feels :’))))))

18. Which ship would you defend to the death and beyond?

All of them tbh. I care about Otis/Maeve and Alexis/Ted slightly less but the other 8 are some forever otps

19. Do you spend hours a day going through 3’s tumblr page?

I did back in the day for like 2 years straight lol

20. If an evil witch descended from the sky and told you that you had to pick one of the ten ships to break up forever or else she’d break them all forever, which ship would you sink?

asdkjfhdsa ok i’m gonna say Alexis and Ted but jUST BECAUSE they already ended their relationship themselves and i’m content w the ending even if i desperately hope they’ll reunite some day down the line. The others I simply cannot compromise on

I’m gonna tag @thisfeebleheart, @himick, @smores100 and @happyminyards

#every time i do these things i need to consult netflix #bc every show i've ever watched completely leaves my mind lmao #meme thing

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bleachpanda · 4 years

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Salt over Harem Manga ft. Gotoubun, Bokuben & Nisekoi

Well, well, who would have thought that the thing to finally inspire me to want to rant/talk again about stuff that interest me would be harem manga LOL. I guess waifu wars can get pretty serious. Lol, jokes aside, this post can probably be seen as a form of bitterness for the usual “my favourite girl didn’t win” rants, but honestly, my favourite girl won in Gotoubun and I’m still dissatisfied! Yes, this post will probably be full of salt, so I guess be prepared? XD Oh, and this is something obvious but ending spoilers ahead, so don’t read if you don’t want to know who the “winners” are!

Gotoubun and Bokuben are probably the most popular recent harem manga and honestly, I enjoyed Bokuben more because I felt the girls were so much more fun and friendly, as well as having better character development with their respective story arcs, but I have to say, the both of them fell off the cliff near the end imo. For Gotoubun, what was enjoyable was the mystery of who Futarou would end up marrying and how intense the wars between the sisters got when they fought for the guy they liked. But, I think after Negi completely ruined Ichika’s character and any chance of her ever being with Futarou, I got a bit annoyed lol. I think what I enjoy the most about harem manga is how each girl presents a different personality, a different look, a different feel and just a type that each reader can fall in love with and you kinda cheer for the one you like the most even if they may not necessarily be the “best girl” for the guy, and I think what Negi did to Ichika nicely presented how jealousy can affect relationships, but it also destroyed what I liked about harem manga and the “unity” between the sisters. I’ll admit that Ichika was my favourite girl until that point and I was so disappointed in her character afterwards. Oh, btw, my order of favourites are (most to least) Yotsuba, Miku, Nino and then Ichika and Itsuki tie lol.

Anyway, although the girls never clicked as much with me as it did with other readers due to me feeling like rather than romance, the girls really needed to focus on themselves more and I think Futarou provided that, so I guess I was happy lol. But, I always felt that even though Ichika is called out for being the most selfish, I thought Nino and Miku also really selfishly pushed their feelings on Futarou all the time rather than thinking about his feelings. Their thoughts and feelings were always more hindered by themselves rather than Futarou and I feel like Futarou was more of a “goal” to them than an actual romantic interest. Like, I know they cared, but I think overall, in the end Futarou really just represented them being able to overcome their respective problems and insecurities more than romance.

So yeah, I always cheered for Yotsuba even though I honestly thought he wouldn’t choose her because I feel like even though they had their moments, they still overall lacked communication. So yeah, colour me surprised when he really did pick Yotsuba lol! I was shocked but happy for her UNTIL the confession chapter ended, because after that towards the end, the chapters were quite the drag. Not only did the characterisation for the sisters feel like it dipped back into the hole, I felt their “anger” towards Yotsuba was really...awkwardly shown, and I was so annoyed that all Yotsuba could say to them was something along the lines of “I won’t go out with him until you guys approve”, which is understandable, but the way she did it was just repulsive. Mainly because she just shoved it in the other sisters’ faces that yes she won, but she wants to be “considerate” to them by getting their approval first and it just annoyed me. Getting approval doesn’t mean just begging them to approve of your relationship, but proving to them that you guys really love each other and that you know it’s going to hurt them but you really love this guy or whatever. Anyway, the way that was handled was disappointing and I felt the ending was really rushed after the confession, because even though I was a fan of Yotsuba, I never really felt how much they clicked as a couple and how much Futarou loved her. Sure, he appreciated her for always being the one that kept him going but not seeing much of their romance develop after as a couple really made the ending bland imo. Regardless, I’m more disappointed in Bokuben.

I had really high hopes for Bokuben and I honestly thought it would be more of a steady progress of the cliche with every girl getting some sort of mini arc before their respective confession or his choice BUT it throws that all in the bin and instead chooses to just have Nariyuki think about who he really loves after Uruka properly confesses to him. In which at this point, okay, fine, I’ll accept it, not all romances get to end with each girl telling the guy their feelings, a lot of them get rejected by understanding who he’s going to choose. But I think the most insulting thing that Bokuben did that I frankly disliked the most was the flashback story of Uruka being there for Nariyuki back when his father died and he was struggling with his family situation, but Uruka was there for him as the sunshine girl she was and that really helped him get through his middle school years. Having that flashback just completely negated all the relationships he built with Fumino and the rest of them, because in the end, what was the core to winning his heart was already established before the manga even started, so in the end, the other girls never had a chance to begin with. The whole harem was just Nariyuki becoming friends with the other girls and them helping him realise in the end that he liked Uruka and that honestly pissed me off. I didn’t like Gotoubun’s ending but I liked that Negi kept to the story that what was presented in the story and the respective girls’ arcs was where Futarou made the choice to choose Yotsuba. He chose her because she was there for him and not fighting or causing problems the whole time, it was because she was supporting him ever since the beginning, and even though I had problems with how it was portrayed, it kept within what was shown. However, with how Nariyuki ended up choosing Uruka, it really showed how useless everything happened was in terms of the romance, I’m glad Nariyuki still helped them all improve in their studies and supported and improved their outlooks on life, but the romance that was supposed to be at the core of the story really kills it.

Honestly, although my favourite was Sensei, I didn’t mind who Nariyuki would end up with because I actually really liked all the girls, and I really liked how they all supported him in different ways just as he always supported their dreams. And it’s because of that, that I’m all the more disappointed in how this “choice” was handled. It was especially dissatisfying to see all the girls heartbroken in such an anticlimactic way tbh. Like, it’s nice that it’s showing how unrequited loves can end just like that, but it is so dissatisfying for a harem manga to do that. As a reader, you become invested in each girl and have your favourite, so getting a clear ending for each of them even if it’s a rejection, or even if it’s their own mini arc of them coming to terms to their feelings would be so much more understandable and satisfying. To be fair, Bokuben hasn’t completely ended yet so maybe Tsutsui will do that after, but I honestly doubt it, because the moment Tsutsui decided that the way for Sensei to come to terms for her feelings was to have one panel of her wishing that she could be a student alongside them, then maybe she could have expressed her feelings annoyed me. I just found it terribly dissatisfying for the rest of the girls even though I do love how cute Uruka is as well, I just found it extremely unfair to the others. Life is unfair but my harem manga shouldn’t be! Like seriously LOL.

As someone who absolutely hates Chitoge (well, maybe just dislike lol), I have to say Nisekoi actually presented the most well rounded ending of the three. They did my girl Marika dirty by making her be the one pushing Chitoge to face her fears and confess to Raku but I still accepted it, because Marika loved Raku so much, she would have done that. Anyway, what I really loved about the Nisekoi ending was that Komi really put in the effort into giving some sort of conclusion to each girl that was part of the harem. I remember that even though I was sad, I felt satisfied because truthfully, it was quite well established how the fight for Raku was really only between Onodera and Chitoge, and as the manga was rolling near the end, it was quite obviously shown that Raku would end up with Chitoge because of how well they connected and how well they got along together. And although I know a lot of people were annoyed that the whole promise girl wasn’t important anymore when it was throughout the whole manga, and that Raku didn’t choose Onodera even though she was the girl, but I actually liked that. I liked that even though it took him a while to realise, I liked it that he realised that looking for the promised girl wasn’t important anymore, and that the most important thing was you yourself choosing the person you like in the present rather than relying on fleeting feelings of the past. I mean, if it was so hard for everyone to remember and do something about it then it obviously shouldn’t matter imo lol. Anyway, yeah, I just wanted to say that Marika is best girl LOL. But yeah, seriously, I really liked how Nisekoi built up to the conclusion with Raku and Chitoge finally being honest to each other, because even though I was annoyed that it was cliche and obvious, and that the whole battle for Raku always favoured Chitoge rather than any other girl, I understood through the story how much they both liked each other. And I wanted something like that for Gotoubun and Bokuben. Oh well, I guess lol. Salty rant over loll.

#gotoubun no hanayome #nisekoi #bokuben #manga #thoughts

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mental-health-advice · 4 years

Text

Submissions from 🦚🌺

So took me a while to scroll through to my last tagged ask (for some reason searching didn’t work). So much about staying consistent and actually tagging my stuff from now on. Gosh uff. The one where sibling found possible drugs and the one about mom being xenophobic almost causing shut down as in passing out were me too. I usually either tend to forget to tag or I guess am kinda scared since I feel I send in A LOT? I really don’t know. It’s just a lot going on and I feel bad always (1🦚🌺)

I feel bad always throwing all my stuff at my friends. Especially as one friend a few years ago was diagnosed with depression. Idk what her current situation is tho except that she seems to do better. I won’t ask her since I feel weird about that stuff. Plus really unless she wants to tell me it’s none if my business. But yeah that’s that I guess. Now… I’ve been rejected from the art college/highschool unfortunately so that’s out the window. My therapist suggests volunteer year 2🦚🌺

Whivh we have a social and economic one of I think? Idk. I know social won’t work because of my likelyhood of social anxiety which kinda self explanatory I guess. Economic I’m just scared I wont be able to pull the whole tear through, scared to do stuff wrong etc. Hell I spent 2 low sleep nights crying after the rejection and mom forced the answer out of me when I clearly didn’t want to talk about it. Turned into an argument about how I got forced into abitur/regular highschool 3🦚🌺

And OBVIOUSLY she blames dad for it. Which like… great whatever he told her. My point is HE was more supportive in front of ME than she was. She just tore me down 2 years ago. Next week I dont have a therapist appointment since she will be moving. So I’m praying this week will go by smoothly. Well as smooth as it can go with all the arguments around here I guess. I’m still trying to process everything since March 4🦚🌺

1? 2? I’ve lost track of time … weeks ago she and her bf fought very badly and she essentially ran away for an hour, he claimed he is leaving but then stayed. My younger sisters were all crying, my brothers were just not surprised and I had to try call family members (which calling others is a physical challenge for me) trying to find a way to deal with what happened. My therapist knows about this incident. She now also knows moms bf smokes weed but not about what 5🦚🌺

else we found. I’ll see if I can bring it up soonish since it still worries me… my brother also later confirmed again he caught them snorting it so yeah most likely we are right about it being cocaine. I feel uncomfortable looking up the effects of it but my cousin said that could explain a lot of moms behavior. Shes always been this way I think.I right now dont even remember where I was going with this ask chain hhhh frick.I’m loosing track of myself once again please send help 6🦚🌺

(Have to switch to browser because app again refuses to let me send stuff wtf) My mom also is back onto “oh you just have split personality!” … I have informed myself on DID and OSDD, I have symptoms yes. But I doubt it’s that. In fact my therapist even talks about that stuff with me! I have different parts but mom doesn’t know they exist so idk. I tried to literally tell her how DID is made and she didn’t want to listen. She claims she did almost everything right and I’m making up 7🦚🌺

My trauma. So you would think that she would stay away from assuming such a trauma heavy diagnosis. Welp she actually doesn’t know anything about mental health either way and legit took my brother off his adhd meds years ago because “they changed him too much” and then refused to take him to appointments when we noticed signs of tourette in him because she felt like she fucked up as parent?? Wat?? I can’t make sense of this woman anymore tbh 8🦚🌺

Sorry that this is all over the place, it’s 1am for me rn, I cant sleep really, still am trying to process I won’t see my friend who I was looking forward to seeing this year for 2-3 years and who would have been a temporary escape from this hellhole until at least another year or 2 depending on the situation, being in the top 10 corona countries and in fact second most infected state in germany and really just switching between sliding down to a kid and /or almost passing out 9(?)🦚🌺

almost passing out when trauma responses shut me down and I just can not describe my emotions of the past months other than I just want someone to hug me and to feel safe and to feel like this mess at home and the world isn’t happening. My mind is all over the place and I feel like at this point I’m going insane and I’m not making any sense anymore. Again sorry for the probably stupid rant/,vent that probably made no damn sense idek anymore - final🦚🌺

So much about what I sent in yesterday hoping for the best. 3 hours ago I woke up to a message chain about how we (me and my siblings. We are 6 in total) apparently abuse her and use her. And basically just complaining about the tiniest things regarding chores. For example yesterday I completely cleaned the kitchen and she complained because some dishes stood around since people still ate AFTER I did the chores. Like tf. My friends say it seemed like from the screenshots that she is 1🦚🌺

using us as tools? Idek anymore. She also completely ignored me sending her and asking her stuff about the valounteer year last night since the school rejected me and I need that alternative. Apparently a clean flat is more important than my literal future. On the other hand I for once had a normal conversation with my almost 15yo brother (I’m almost 19, however not mentally and also not in the position to move still especially with the virus and all) and it turned out that he shares 2🦚🌺

Moms views on therapy whivh I’ve mentioned in the past aren’t really the best views on it. So yeah that’s just great. He basically just thinks it’s stupid. Either way. Currently my only way of possibly getting away would be a psychiatric /mental hospital stay. THING IS while I’m bety aware it isnt like in the movies I am deadly afraid of the thought. Not having my freedom to come and go when I please, not being able to meet up with friends or something etc. I would not feel safe and 3🦚🌺

it would just expose me to a lot of stress and anxiety which wouldn’t be any better than being yelled at constantly at home and having mom shit talk my friends. Everything is just kinda a mess with her rn and my siblings don’t see it from my perspective. Like YES we mess up and don’t do things right. She has a reason to be mad. But NO she doesn’t have the tight to essentially abuse us and no her behavior isnt parenting this is manipulation. 4🦚🌺

They only see the first half and think she’s in the right… I myself struggle to differentiate right and wrong and am unable to read situations well, which is why it took me 17-18 years and my friends calling it out to realise this is wrong. But I at least listen… they don’t. I sometimes just wish I grew up in a stable functioning family. Or honestly that she never even had me since she was VERY young when she had me so that’s probably why she never learned how to 5(?)🦚🌺

Act properly towards us. As she had me when she was just my age (18) and then the following 8 years had 4 more of my 5 siblings. I feel she never had time to grow up and learn herself especially considering she was abused herself…. final🦚🌺

Hi 🦚🌺,

It's good to hear from you again! There's absolutely nothing wrong with messaging us often, so feel free to tag all of your asks that you send in! I think that will actually make it easier on both of us, as you'll be able to find responses easier and I can look back on your previous asks easier to make sure I'm not missing anything or repeating myself :) Also, the search function on tumblr is quite picky, so unfortunately it can be hard to find posts. I've run into the same issue with locating old asks on the blog as well!

It's understandable that you don't want to bug your friends with your problems, especially if they have some mental health struggles of their own. However, it might help to think of it this way: mental illness is so common that chances are most people you meet will have some sort of struggle with their mental health, which means you wouldn't be able to talk to anyone about your struggles if you don't want to bother someone who struggles with their mental health. That doesn't seem fair to you! While everyone needs to have boundaries, especially to protect their health, I think it's reasonable to share things with your friends when you're struggling. You deserve that support, especially with everything else you have going on in your life!

It must have been devastating to not get into art school and I'm so sorry that happened! It does sound like volunteering could be a potential route for you to go down, even if it's just until you figure out what you want to do in the future. It makes sense that certain volunteer options can be rolled out based on the nature of the work and the things you struggle with. Perhaps there is something you could do from home that wouldn't trigger your anxiety. For instance, I volunteer for a text-based suicide hotline, which I do from home. I'm not saying you have to do something exactly like this, but it might spark an idea that you or your therapist maybe haven't thought of yet. It's just something to think about.

What's going on with the drugs in your house is definitely concerning and I think it would be a good idea to bring that up with your therapist. It's really dangerous to have these kinds of drugs around with younger kids being there. Not only is it possible for kids to accidentally get into it and harm themselves, but it's also dangerous for them to be around adults that are high because of their erratic behaviors. This is why I think it would be wise to talk to your therapist about this to see what input she has.

It's great that your therapist has talked to you about your diagnoses as well as what you don't have that your mom has tried to say you have. I'm sure it's frustrating to have your mom make those accusations, but I think it's good that you at least have your therapist there to reassure you that you don't in fact have those diagnoses.

It's so disappointing that your friend won't be able to visit as you guys had planned because I know you were really looking forward to that! Unfortunately, coronavirus seems to ne ruining plans for most people all over the world. Hopefully you guys will be able to come up with another plan for meeting up, though it likely won't be able to happen until the pandemic is more under control. Still, at least making tentative plans for meeting in the future may give you both something to look forward to once travel is finally safe again.

I'm so sorry that your mom treats you and your siblings this way. It does sound like she may use you guys as tools, as your friends put it. This is sometimes another sign of abuse/neglect, which honestly isn't surprising considering all of your mom's other behaviors.

What you mentioned about getting out of the house makes sense and I agree that an inpatient stay might not be the best way to go about it. Not only will that be more restrictive, as you mentioned, but most hospitals won't allow inpatient stays unless the person is incapable of keeping themselves or others safe while receiving outpatient care (though I obviously don't know whether this is the case for you). I still think it's a good idea to keep thinking about potential ways of getting out of your mom's house once you're ready for that. One option I'm wondering about is a group home (I think these may be called something else in other countries but it's basically a house where several adults with varying physical and/or mental illnesses live together and there are usually various types of staff who also stay there). These can sometimes be a bit restrictive, but much less so than a hospital would be. I believe they typically have a curfew, otherwise you're allowed to leave during the day. Although I'm not sure if this would be a viable option for you (and it probably wouldn't be anyway until after the pandemic is more controlled), it's just something that popped into my head when thinking about other ways of eventually getting you away from your mom's abuse.

What you said about your mom's parenting vs. manipulation is 100% accurate. It's very common for someone who was abused by parents to go on to abuse their own children unless they put in the effort to change, but know that you still don't deserve to be abused and manipulated. It's not your fault that your mom was abused and never unlearned the negative behaviors she saw experienced as a child. You and your siblings all deserve so much better than this!

-Samantha

#abuse #abusive parent #drugs #drug use #family #🦚🌺#advice #advice blog #mental health advice #mhasamantha

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