#finally finished my exams so i drew them as a little treat for myself since it's been a couple of weeks

[lotus-pear]

if being cringefail losers was a crime these two idiots would get the life sentence

[dariusfrasier]

Belated Birthday 

Darius: Ever since the visit with her mom, Macy had been quiet. We still celebrated when she graduated with her bachelor’s degree. Ava, Audrey, and I took her out to dinner and had a celebratory cake at home. She even talked briefly to her dad on the phone. But my usually gregarious girlfriend was not nearly as talkative or animated as before. I knew she had a lot on her mind so I didn’t press or try to force her to talk to me. It wouldn’t have done any good. 

I let her do and feel whatever she needed to. I trusted that when she was ready, she’d let me know. It didn’t mean we were any less close than usual. When we watched tv, she still pulled my arm around her shoulders and snuggled against my side. And at night, once we got in bed and turned out the light she still used my chest as a pillow and draped her arm over me. We didn’t need words to communicate. 

———————-

Macy: I had so many things on my mind and I wasn’t sure how to deal with any of them. Truthfully, I wasn’t sure I would ever be ready to deal with some of them. The conversation with my mom kept playing and replaying in my head. It was taking me a while to process everything. I didn’t even remember taking my exams, even though I aced them...or close to it. The last few weeks had been a blur. 

The one thing I was sure of was the fact that my mother had kept a lot of things hidden from me...and even my dad. How did we get past this? I was still stuck on the fact that somewhere out there, I had a sister, half-sister? I sighed as I went to the kitchen to refill my cup with the tea I made before going back to the porch to sit and think a little longer.

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Darius: I heard her in the kitchen, so I finished up my emails to Lisi and Leo about our project’s final steps before logging off my computer. “C’mon, George. Let’s get you some fresh water before I go check on our girl.” He padded along behind me to the kitchen. I spotted Macy out back as I filled George’s water bowl with ice and water. “Here you go, Buddy.” Setting his bowl down, I ran my hand over his soft fur. 

I cleared my throat before opening the back door so I didn’t startle her. “Hey.” I grinned as I walked over to kiss the top of her head. I found myself stroking her hair almost the same way I stroked George earlier. Was I soothing her or myself? No idea. I took a seat beside her and looked out over the yard. “Did you want to go see your Dad later? It was his birthday last week, right?”

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Macy: I looked up at Darius and smiled, nodding my head, “Yeah, it was. And I want to, we have that gift for him. I just don’t know if I’m ready to face her too.” I sighed, “My mind is all over the place and I still can’t process the fact that somewhere out there I have a sister that I’ve grown up my whole life not knowing. So now, not only did she keep my dad from me but now a sister too.” I looked back out across the way, “I don’t know how I’m supposed to process all of that.”

I was quiet for a few minutes before I continued, “I’m not blind to everything she went through, I know it sounds like I’m ignoring all the horrible things that she had to endure, I’m not. But does knowing that now really change the way she treated me growing up? The way she allowed him to treat me? I was an innocent child. She could have sent me to my dad, she could have protected me somehow and done better. Instead, she took away my dad and apparently also my sister.”

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Darius: I let her words settle around us. I wanted her to know I heard every word. I rested my hand on her thigh while I thought about how to respond. “Your feelings about how she treated you are absolutely valid. Nothing could or should change that.” My thumb drew slow circles on her leg. Again…was I trying to soothe her or me? “I have been thinking about everything we found out. And I might have an idea of something we could do. An action we could take that might be a start at least. It was a strange idea, but it’s all I have right now.”

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Macy: I listened to Darius as he talked and sipped my tea, I looked over at him when he finished, “What kind of idea? And why is it strange? And do I need to be worried?” I couldn’t help but smile at the last question I asked him. He had been so amazing through all of this and gave me the space I needed to process everything. I couldn’t believe how lucky I was. He wasn’t insecure and needing to be right there through it all, he knew that it was a lot to take in and allowed me to go over everything at my own pace. He didn’t hover and was always there if and when I was ready to talk.

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Darius: “When we were watching tv the other night, I saw a commercial for one of those at-home tests. Not sure if you noticed it. A DNA test.” I glanced at her but couldn’t read her expression. “What if you told your mom that you wanted her to take one with you to help you find your sister? Tell her you want her to help you find her and make sure she’s ok?” I wasn’t sure Macy would like the idea so I decided to tell her the rest. 

I leaned back and closed my eyes, then started to tell her the other idea. “Not sure how much I told you before. Had my appendix out when I was 7? 8? Complications. I needed blood. That's when we found out. They weren't my parents. It was biologically impossible. I tried to block out a lot of it. The confusion. The investigation. They found the other kid. Their "real" son. On paper anyway. They tried to contact the family and see him, but the other family refused. Through a lawyer no less.” I sighed and opened my eyes, leaning forward, arms resting on my knees. “So…I get it more than you know. Wanting to find your sister. To get to know her. I said “we” before. I’m suggesting that I take a test, too. See if I have any family out there who wants to know…me.” 

—————- 

Macy: It took me a minute to process everything Darius had said. I was in shock. “Wow, I can’t imagine what that must have been like. How come you never said anything before now? The whole time we were looking for my dad, we also  could have looked for your family, too.” I couldn’t imagine finding out so young that your parents weren’t your parents. “What happened after the other family refused? Did they neglect you?” I guess a part of me was scared that my sister would neglect me. I could understand if she didn’t want to see my mom, but what about me? I was only a child, I didn’t even know, could she really hold it against me?

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Darius: I shook my head. “Wasn’t important, Catwoman. They never treated me badly. Never intentionally made me feel like a stranger...until puberty hit. That's when well... Happy 12th Birthday! You're even more of a freak now that you shift. They thought I was trying to run away. Tried grounding me, but every time that itching started I found a way out. I had to….You can guess the rest. It wasn’t until a few years before we met that I fully understood what I was…besides a freak. Being alone worked for me...mostly...over the years, but now I have you.” I held my hand out to her. “Finding your sister might not be the fairy tale ending it is in books and movies, but I think if you can see that she’s ok. That she knows she’s a shifter and that you were too young to do anything. That might have to be enough. Maybe you’ll grow close. That would be great. But I know you’re more realistic than to hold your breath.”

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Macy: I took his hand and nodded, “To be honest, I’m not even sure I want a relationship with her. And I’m not sure if that makes me horrible or not. A part of me wants to find her, as you said, make sure she’s okay and that she knows. But another part of me doesn’t want to disrupt her life, especially if it’s a good one. What right do I have? That’s if she even knows that she’s adopted. I mean...what would I say? ‘Hey I don’t know if you know this or not, but we’re sisters. Oh, and you’re adopted cause our mom didn’t have a choice?’ I mean that would just be cruel.” I sighed as I shook my head. There were so many unknowns and I think a part of me, maybe not as big a part as before, blamed all this...confusion and uncertainty...on my mom. If she had stood up to her parents or even been honest with my dad, things would be totally different right now.

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Darius: “Well, if you and your Mom take the DNA tests, and there’s a match. It would mean someone else took one, yeah? So they probably know they’re adopted or at least suspect. So hopefully you wouldn’t be faced with revealing that.” I kissed the palm of her hand. “I just…I know you’ve been struggling with everything and maybe doing this. Something concrete would help you. Especially when you start grad school in a matter of weeks. Right? You still want to do that?”

———————-

Macy: I smiled and nodded at him, “Yes, that is something that I still want to do. I’ve worked way too hard to let anything stop me now.” I thought about everything he said, he was right. If they had already taken a DNA test, that means they knew and they were looking for us...or at least someone. “What do you think she’s going to say?”

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 Darius: “Your mom?” I waited until she nodded. “I hope that she was serious about wanting to make things up to you. If she was, then she should agree right away. It’s basically just a cheek swab, right?” I leaned back in the chair. “If you really meant your sister or I guess half-sister, I think it will depend on what her adoptive family is like. If she’s had a good life, then it might be an easier adjustment. Then again. If she had a hard time growing up, she might be really angry. At your Mom, not you. You were so young. Wasn’t anything you could do.”

——————-

Macy: “I’m not so sure. I mean she could be angry at me. Our mom kept me but didn’t keep her. She could think it’s my fault once she finds out. I mean I wouldn’t blame her. Though to be honest, I think she’s lucky she didn’t have to grow up stuck in that house. I honestly hope she had a better life and a better environment than I did.” 

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Darius: “Let’s start by trying to find her first and worry about the rest when we get there, deal?” She sighed and slowly nodded. “How about you text Mike and see if he’s up for some company and bring him his present? If you don’t want to see your Mom, we could meet him at a restaurant and treat him to lunch, but I kinda think we should just face her and get it over with. Sort of like ripping a band-aid off. But it’s up to you.” I got up from my seat and leaned over to kiss my beautiful girl before gently removing the empty glass from her hand and heading back inside.

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Macy: I watched Darius go and knew he was right. Eventually, I would have to face my mom. So why put it off? I grabbed my phone off the table beside me and sent a text to my dad, asking him to call if he wasn’t busy. I sat back against the chair and waited, smiling when my phone started ringing. I looked down and saw it was my dad, “Hi, I hope you weren’t busy.”

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Mike: I had just put a load of laundry away when my phone buzzed with a text from Macy asking me to call her. I tried not to worry about something being wrong and called her back. “Hi, I hope you weren’t busy.” “Never too busy for you. Everything ok?” I took a seat on the couch. Luckily, it seems that she and Darius just wanted to drop by with a birthday present. At least that’s what she said. “I’d love to see you, Sweetheart. You don’t need to bring a present.” I glanced towards the kitchen. JJ was outside trying to make my backyard more presentable. At least I think that’s where she still was. 

——————-

Macy: I couldn’t help but laugh a little, “I know I don’t have to bring a gift, but I want to bring a gift. Besides, I’ve already got it, so wouldn’t it be a waste if I didn’t bring it?” We both laughed.  I was quiet for a few moments, “Will Mo…,” I cleared my throat, “JJ be there as well?” When my dad didn’t answer, I took a deep breath, “It’s alright if she will be. I…I guess it is time we talked. I was just more or less trying to, um, I guess prepare myself? If that makes any sense at all.”

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Mike: I will never tire of hearing my daughter laugh. I hung onto that feeling when I answered her. “She’s here. I think she’s trying to garden? Or pretend to. She spends as much time outside as she can.” Which reminded me of my sister-in-law actually. “I should probably let her know you’re coming. I think she’s been hoping you’d want to talk again.”

———————

Macy: I sighed and nodded, then remembered he couldn’t see me. “I’m not exactly sure what she’s expecting. I…I don’t think I’m ready for her and me to have a heart-to-heart about us. But I do have some questions and there are things I would like for us to talk about. I am willing to talk, but just…not about her and I. Not yet.”

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Mike: “That’s understandable. At this point, I think she’ll be happy to talk about the weather.” Not exactly an exaggeration. “If you feel up to it, maybe we could even order some food. Share a meal? Just think about it. No pressure.” Sometimes food is a good distraction or buffer. But I would never force Macy to spend more time with JJ that she wasn’t ready for.

——————

Macy: I thought about his offer, “I’ll talk to Darius and see what he says. I’m sure as long as I’m okay with it he will be too.” I bit my lip and continued, “I won’t promise to do it, but…I guess I’d be willing to try.” I just hoped I could get through it if I did.

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Mike: “Thank you, Macy. I appreciate you even considering it. I can’t wait to see you. Drive carefully. Love you.” We ended the call and I went to find JJ. It was only fair that she had a chance to freshen up at the very least before seeing Macy again. 

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Macy: After we hung up, I couldn’t help but smile. I really think I have the best dad. I sighed as I stood up and went to look for Darius. I figured I would run everything my dad said by him and see what he thought the best thing to do was. Maybe he’d have an idea of how I could get through this without losing my mind.

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Darius: I was wiping down the counters and then putting a few things in the grocery list when Macy walked in. “Hi,” I said as I reached my hand out to her. “Did you talk to your Dad?” George nearly tripped her as she made her way over, but I was right there to catch her. “I think he did that on purpose. The little devil.” I chuckled and hugged her to my chest.

—————-

Macy: I laughed as I slipped my arms around Darius, “He does realize he doesn’t have to play matchmaker anymore, right?” We both laughed and I nodded, “I did talk to him. He’s happy we’re going to stop by.” I took a deep breath before telling him everything we talked about. I gave him a few minutes to think before asking, “So what do you think?”

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Darius: As she filled me in, I played with her hair keeping one arm around her waist. “So what do you think?” I thought for a few moments. “I think the fact that you’re even asking me means that we should go see him. And, if you want to, talk to your mother about taking that test. We can stop at the store and see if we can pick some up on the way. If you want to.”

——————

Macy: I thought about what he said. He was right, we could stop by the store and pick some up, or at least see if we could. But what then? What if when we tried to talk about it she shut down? Or even flat out refused to do it. Where would that leave us? “What if she says no? Or doesn’t even want to talk about it? What do we do then?”

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Darius: She was going down a dark path again. “Hey, look at me.” I tilted her chin up. “Focus on seeing your dad and wishing him a happy birthday. Especially since you haven’t spent many of them together.” I leaned in to kiss her. “If we tried to stay calm, I doubt she’ll be able to turn us down. It’s a simple request.”

——————

Macy: I returned his kiss and nodded, “You’re right. My dad deserves to have a good birthday and we deserve that time together.” I hugged him tight, “And if she does say no, we can cross that bridge when we get there, right?” “Right.” I smiled up at him and kissed him again. “I suppose we should get ready to go. Dad is expecting us sooner rather than later,” I laughed.

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Mike: After ending the call with Macy, I straightened up a little in the living room and then went to find my roommate. “There you are,” I said as I stepped off the back porch. The yard definitely looked a lot better since she’d been here. It actually looked like someone cared. Not that I didn’t. It was just…there before.

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JJ: I turned around when I heard Mike’s voice and smiled, “Hey, what do you think? It’s not done yet, but it’s getting there. I have a few more things I want to do, but it’ll take a couple of days to accomplish everything.” I really did hope he liked it. Though, if he didn't, I could always change things around. After all, gardening was a good distraction from my thoughts. 

———————

Mike: I walked over and took a good look. “I think it looks great. But, more importantly, it makes you smile. That’s my favorite part.” I rubbed the back of my neck. “So, I just got off the phone with Macy. She and Darius are going to drop by with a birthday present for me. They’ll probably be here in about,” glancing at my watch, “20 or 30 minutes? Give or take.”

——————

JJ: The smile I had been wearing faltered a little bit. “I see.” I took a deep breath and asked the next question, dreading the answer, “And am I welcome or should I make myself scarce?” I couldn’t blame Macy if she wanted me to get lost. I hadn’t been the best mother to her in a long time. 

——————

Mike: I took her hand in mine and squeezed lightly. “I think she has some questions for you actually. And maybe, if we all feel like it, we could order some food and have dinner together. But we decided to leave that up in the air.” I swear I could feel JJ’s heartbeat speeding up through her fingertips. I knew she longed to see Macy, but I knew she was nervous about it too.

——————-

JJ: I let out the breath I had been holding. I wasn’t sure what Macy’s questions would be, but I made a promise to myself that I would answer them all honestly, or at least as honestly as I could. I looked at Mike and nodded, “Alright. That…that’s good. At least she is willing to talk to me.” I gave his hand a squeeze, “I really should go get cleaned up before they arrive. Thank you, for…for everything.” I smiled.

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Mike: “Nothing to thank me for.” She laughed a bit and shook her head before heading back inside. I decided to give her a few minutes alone in the house while I wandered through the yard looking at all the subtle but impactful changes she’d made to the yard. She really seemed to have a gift for working with plants. With nature. Sighing softly, I took another look around and then followed her inside.

———————

Darius: We were in luck. The local Walgreens had DNA tests in stock. We picked up 3. Two for Macy and her mother, and one for me to take. I had mixed feelings about it, but I honestly had nothing to lose. “We should be there in about ten minutes, Catwoman. You look great by the way.” I rested my hand on her knee. “It will be great to see your dad again.”

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Macy: I smiled and nodded, “Yeah, it will be. I’ve missed him. We really need to start making more plans with him.” I took Darius’ hand in mine absently drawing circles with my thumb while he drove. “Do…do you think my sister is like me? Or rather…like us?” I remembered how hard it was explaining everything to my dad, even though he handled it great, but that didn’t mean my sister would too.

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Darius: “From what I remember your mom telling us, it sounded like her parents tried fixing her up with others in the pack. So if he was also a shifter, your sister would definitely be one, right?” I pulled up in front of Mike’s house. “When we find her, it’s not going to be an easy thing to bring up in conversation. But we’ll figure it out.” I turned the car off and tucked the keys in my pocket before leaning in to kiss her, then I went around to help her out of the car.

——————-

JJ: I washed my hands in the sink and dried them off, completely lost in thought as I headed to my room to change clothes. I grabbed a washcloth from the shelf and made my way to the bathroom to clean up a little more. I had a million thoughts going through my head, but the main one was wondering what Macy would want to talk about. I didn’t want to upset her again like before, but how was I supposed to act? Did I keep my distance and let her speak to me first? Or was it okay if I spoke first?

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Mike: I was just finishing emptying the dishwasher when I thought I heard a car pull up. I walked towards the front of the house, stopping near JJ’s door to tell her I thought they were here. I placed my hand on the door briefly as if I could give her some of my strength. Taking a deep breath, I continued to the front, peeking out the window and opening the door as Darius and Macy walked up. “There’s my beautiful girl,” I said, holding the door open.

—————-

Macy: I couldn’t help but grin when my dad greeted us. I let go of Darius’ hand and rushed up the steps to hug my dad. “Hey, Dad. Happy Birthday!” I giggled as I caught the end of his eye roll. “Oh come on, it’s totally worth celebrating. Don’t you agree Darius?”

——————

JJ: I could hear how happy Macy was with Mike, how easy it was for them to be together. It made me happy, but at the same time, it made me sad. I wasn’t sure that Macy and I would ever have a relationship like that, especially after everything that had happened between us…and because of me. I could only hope.

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Darius: l just chuckled and shook my head as I followed Mile and Macy inside. It was good to hear her and Mike laugh together. She hadn’t laughed much in a while. “Happy Birthday, Mike. Sorry, we’re a little late.” It wasn’t because we didn’t want to see him. I knew he understood that.

—————-

Mike: I ushered Macy and Darius into the living room. “Make yourself comfortable. Can I get you something to drink? Coke, tea, water?” They took their seats almost exactly where they were when JJ first showed up. I couldn’t help but wonder if this visit would go better. “Coke would be great, Mike. Thank you,” Darius said before turning to my daughter.“Macy?”

——————-

Macy: I smiled and nodded, “Coke would be great, thank you.” I couldn’t help but look around and wonder if JJ was going to join us. A part of me wanted her to, I had so many questions. But a part of me wasn’t sure I was ready for some of those answers. I took a deep breath and settled back into my seat.

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JJ: I kept telling myself I was giving the three of them some time to visit before I interrupted, but I knew that wasn’t true. I was stalling because I was afraid of facing Macy. Our last visit didn’t go so well, my fault. I couldn’t blame Macy for how she felt. I had blindsided her. I should have thought that through a little better. I stood from my bed and took a deep breath before heading to join them in the living room.

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Darius: I rested my hand on Macy’s knee. So far so good. Then a door opened and her mom walked in. Macy quickly grabbed my hand and squeezed it. I looked over and nodded politely to her mom as she tentatively took a seat. I rubbed my thumb along the back of Macy’s hand until some of the tension eased. 

—————

Mike: I was bringing the drinks in when I realized JJ had joined us. I handed Macy and Darius their drinks. “Here you go. I brought you tea, JJ. Would you prefer Coke?” I gave her a reassuring smile and made sure my hand brushed hers. As much as I loved seeing my daughter, I really didn’t want a repeat of the last visit.

—————-

Macy: I took a few deep breaths and reminded myself that I didn’t want this to go like last time. I concentrated on Darius rubbing his thumb on my hand and looked at JJ. There were so many things that rushed to the surface to say, but none of them were nice. Instead, I smiled a little, “Hello.”

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JJ: I looked at Mike and smiled, “Tea is perfect. Thank you.” I glanced across the room at Macy and Darius, a little surprised when Macy gave me a small smile. I quickly covered the shock and smiled at her, “Hi Macy, Darius. How are you both doing?” I could do this. We could do this.

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Darius: “We’re good. Thank you,” I said before taking a sip of my Coke. “Wanted to stop by and give Mike his birthday present before it was time for Macy to buckle down in grad school. How are you?” I gave Macy’s hand a squeeze. I knew her dad was as proud of Macy as I was. 

——————

Mike: I took my seat and watched JJ and Macy for a moment before taking a drink and setting my glass down. “So proud of you, Macy. Can’t believe you’re about to start graduate school.” I nodded briefly to Darius who I knew was Macy’s rock. First as a friend and now as her partner.

——————

Macy: I couldn’t help but blush a little as both Darius and my Dad put their attention on me. “We all know I wouldn’t have made it this far if it hadn’t been for the two of you helping me through so much. And our roommates. I know it drives you all crazy when it comes to my papers.” I laughed a little.

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JJ: I glanced at Darius, “I’m good, thank you for asking.” I smiled as I listened to Darius and Mike brag on Macy. I was proud of her too. She’d always been a smart one, no matter what was said in the past.  “What are you majoring in? Um, if you don’t mind me asking that is?”

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Darius: I nodded politely when Macy’s mom replied, then turned my focus back to Macy. “You know we never mind reading your papers. Better to read them than to have to write them,” I teased. “I’m not sure that I would have the patience or the brains to get through graduate school myself. Writing papers was never my thing. I preferred drawing or building things with my hands.”

——————-

Mike: It was good of Darius to include JJ in the conversation. Even if only briefly. “I hope that Macy has inherited her love of school from me. She certainly did not get her beauty from me,” I winked at JJ. If only this lighter mood could continue we might actually have a pleasant visit.

—————-

Macy: I couldn’t help but shake my head and laugh, “Y’all are too much. And believe me, writing those papers isn’t a walk in the park. It’s why I annoy everyone so much.” I tilted my head and looked at JJ. “What about you?” She looked at me confused for a moment. “Me?” she questioned. I nodded and smiled a little, trying to extend an olive branch, “While you were at school, did the papers stump you?”

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JJ: I can’t lie, I was shocked that she was actually willing to include me in the conversation, and not just to be polite. I thought back to when I was in school, “You know, I really don’t remember. I think the few that I did write I was…very picky about them. I remember with one paper, I didn’t want to use the same word over and over again. So, I’d write a paragraph and go back and underline the same word if it was used more than twice. Each word got a different color. After that, I would grab a dictionary and see how many other words I could use in place of that one.” I couldn’t help but laugh a little, “Sometimes I just ended up with a jumbled-up mess.” I shook my head.

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Darius: I leaned back and watched the tentative conversation between Macy and her parents. They were actually starting to feel like a real family. I did my best to stay quiet and sip my drink as I listened. As she spoke to her mom, Macy let go of my hand and reached for her soda. I moved my arm around her shoulder.

——————-

Mike: “I seem to remember finding you in the cafe a few times with your dictionary and colored pens. I’d buy you a chocolate croissant for luck and sit with you for a while.” I lost myself in the past for a moment. Shaking my head briefly to clear it, I reached for my drink. “I think JJ asked you what you were majoring in, Sweetheart.”

——————

Macy: I set my drink down and nodded my head, “I’m going to be a therapist.” I stopped for a second and, in fairness of trying to start over, I decided to choose my words wisely. “Shifters, especially teenagers, I think need someone outside of their family to talk to. Someone who isn’t in their day-to-day life…passing judgment. Not everyone comes from a perfect family, pack, or however, they want to word it. So my plan is to help shifters, of any age, understand and work through any issues they may have dealing with things. I also plan to help all teenagers, not just shifters. Teenagers struggle every day, sometimes it’s family and friends. Other times it's school or just personal feelings. I want to help them understand that no matter what is going on, they’re not alone. There is hope.” I looked over at Darius and smiled, “There’s love out there for them. They just have to hang on long enough to find it.”

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JJ: I couldn’t help but smile, the amount of pride I felt listening to Macy outweighed the sting of her words, even though she chose them carefully, I knew the pain behind her words was because of me. I cleared my throat before saying anything. “Macy…that’s…really amazing. There are no words. I think it’s wonderful that you want to use your time helping others. You’re going to be amazing at it. I know we’re still on very shaky and rocky ground, but if there is any way I can help just let me know. I will do whatever it is.”

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Darius: When Macy turned to look at me and smiled, I fell in love with her all over again. “I wish I had someone like that to turn to when I was growing up. But then again, I might not have found you when I did.” I knew it might make her a little uncomfortable in front of her mother, but I couldn’t help but sneak a quick kiss. Hopefully, she'll forgive me later. 

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Mike: I got something in my eye and needed to wipe it away. Yeah. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. “I agree. You’re going to do a wonderful job, Macy.” I shifted my attention to JJ. “I have quickly learned as we’ve gotten to know each other, that our daughter can do anything she sets her mind to.” I grinned and took a drink, facing Macy again. “So, what’s this I heard about a birthday gift?” 

————-

Macy: I couldn’t help but blush a little when Darius gave me a kiss, but I didn’t mind. “Thank you, all of you. I am going to do my best and I hope I don’t let anyone down.” I couldn’t help but laugh when Dad brought up his birthday present. I looked at Darius and smirked, “Did we say something about a birthday present?”

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JJ: I couldn’t help but laugh with Macy as she picked on Mike. I knew she didn’t remember much of when she was younger, but I hoped that eventually, I could remind her of how we used to celebrate her birthday, starting with a homemade over-the-top breakfast. I just hoped we could make it back to that point, that I hadn’t completely screwed up.

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Darius: I reached down beside the couch and handed the gift to Macy to give her father. I was still a little surprised that we were sharing laughter together after… last time. “This gift was a collaboration between Macy and me. We hope you like it.” In truth, it wasn’t the smoothest of collaborations. The present was a framed collage of photos. Photos of Mike and Macy primarily. I had to convince Macy that we should include a few of the photos of her mother when she was in college. She requested that I include at least one picture of us since it was a family collage. It took me by surprise and it took me a while to agree. It felt like a bigger step than any we had taken so far.

——————-

Mike: Watching Macy and JJ have a somewhat relaxed and casual interaction was the only real present I needed. I took the present from Macy. “Thank you. Both of you. I can’t imagine what this could be.” I laid it on my lap and slowly unwrapped it. It was a large rectangular wooden frame. When I turned it over, it took my breath away. Here in my hands was my family. Macy. JJ as I first knew her. And Darius. If it wasn’t for Darius, I might never have gotten to meet my daughter. “This is…..” I had no words as I wiped my eyes.

——————-

Macy: I was so happy that Dad liked his gift. My eyes teared up a little when he started wiping his eyes. “I’m hoping that means you like it?” When he chuckled and nodded, I grinned. “Good, I’m glad. We thought it would be nice for you to have something to remind you of all of us.” I reached over and squeezed Darius’ hand. I hadn’t even realized how nervous I was about the gift.

---------------

JJ: I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t. This was a moment for Mike and Macy, one that they deserved. I did my best to hide my smile though. When Mike flipped the picture frame over, I had seen the pictures at the same time he did. It made me so happy to see pictures of me included, even though they didn’t have to. It meant so much to me and gave me a little more hope that maybe all wasn’t lost as I thought.

------------

Darius: I watched her mom’s reaction when she saw the photos. The gift was for Mike and no matter how Macy and her mom felt about each other, Mike cared about both of them. Of course, she should be included in the photos. Even if the photos were older. I squeezed Macy’s hand back and then whispered in her ear about the DNA tests. 

—————

Mike: I showed the photos to JJ and then got up to hang the frame. “I think this is the perfect place, don’t you?” I took down a landscape that I had bought at a home goods store years ago and replaced it with the framed photos. It was a great spot visible from most of the seats in the living room. “Is this straight?” I asked as I stood back to look at it.

—————

Macy: I looked at Darius and nodded, not sure how to bring up the DNA tests. I smiled when I faced my Dad and JJ again, “I think it looks good there.” I bit my lip and sighed. “Um,” I looked over at JJ, “so I have a question…maybe more like a favor to ask?” I could tell she braced herself for the worst and I was surprised at the guilt I felt. Hmm, odd. “I..we..bought these DNA home test kits. I was wondering if we could take them and see about tracking down my sister. Unless there is a chance you know where she may be?”

-----------

JJ: I let out the breath I was holding when she said she had a question. Her sister…of course, she would want to find her. I couldn’t help but frown, “I’m sorry, I don’t know where she is. Your grandparents pushed for a closed adoption. I wasn’t allowed to know anything. Looking back now, I see it was the wrong thing to do. But…at the time I wasn’t in a place to argue.” I sighed, “And I know, that’s not an excuse. I have no excuses. I could have and should have handled everything so much better. During that time and after.” I took a sip of my drink, trying to gather my thoughts. I set my drink back down, “I would be happy to try and help you find her. If the DNA tests don’t pan out, maybe we could do something else? There have to be other options for finding her, don't you think?” I looked at Darius and Mike.

--------------------

Darius: Well, that went better than I expected. “Glad you liked the photos, Mike. They look like they’ve always hung there.” I rubbed Macy’s arm. “I think the tests are a good start at least. Give us something concrete to do, true?” I kissed Macy��s cheek before standing up. “If you’ll excuse me for a minute, I’ll go get them from the car. I’ll be right back.” I decided it was best to just grab the tests instead of worrying about leaving Macy’s side. It wasn’t like last time. So far.

——————-

Mike: Listening to the conversation I felt a little lost and confused. DNA tests? And JJ agreed without blinking an eye? JJ had another child. A child with another man. I never really thought about how it might affect me. I didn’t mean to sound selfish. But these tests. The search. It was something they were doing. Something separate from us. It was… confusing. I would support them of course. But what if it pulled us apart? Shaking my head, I reached for my soda and took a long drink before Darius returned. Wait. Why did he have three boxes?

——————-

Macy: I watched Darius go and sighed. A part of me wanted to follow him, but another part wanted to stay. Things were going…okay for the most part. But I knew one slight tilt and it would all come crumbling down. Luckily he wasn’t gone long and was quickly back at my side. I smiled and looked over at JJ and my dad. “We stopped and got the tests on the way here, hoping it would be okay.” I was pretty sure I had already said that…but wanted to fill the silence with something.

----------------

JJ: I had a million thoughts going through my head right now. Mainly, what if we did this and it didn’t turn out like Macy hoped? I wasn’t going to back out, but a part of me…a big part…worried that my other daughter might not want anything to do with us, if she even knew she was adopted. It was a very real chance she didn’t. There was also a very real chance that she hated me for different reasons than Macy and wouldn’t want anything to do with us. I bit my lip, was this really a good idea?

----------------

Darius: I could tell by the looks on Mike and Macy’s mom’s faces that they were confused about the third test. I reached for Macy’s hand. “So…um…when Mace and I talked about this, I promised I would take one too. My parents weren’t really related to me. Long story. I was always curious to know if I had any siblings that were looking for me. We um…if there are matches to any of us, then someone is already looking, true? It’s not like we’re blindsiding them”

———————

Mike: I was surprised by Darius’ confession of sorts. “I had no idea you were searching for anyone, Darius. We could have been helping you.” He shrugged with a slight smile. “Not really a priority, Mike, but thank you. I don’t really expect to find anyone.” I nodded and looked at JJ then Macy. “So, how do you take these tests?”

——————-

Macy: I laughed a little as I reached for one of the boxes and flipped it over. I read the directions and looked around the room, “Um, sounds pretty easy, right?” I tried to laugh a little but for some reason I was suddenly very nervous. This could all go totally wrong at any given point. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea.

------------

JJ: I tried to smile at Macy and be encouraging. While Darius did have a point that if we did get a match it meant someone was looking for us first…I was scared what it would mean if we didn’t get a match. I didn’t want to let Macy down…again. I had done that enough already. “Well, I guess there is only one way to find out, right?”

---------------------

Darius: Mike seemed a little left out when the three of us were looking at the tests. “Hey, Mike. Maybe you could help Jasmine with the swabs and I’ll help Macy.” Macy squeezed my hand. I knew she was grateful that I was trying to include her dad in the process. I turned to face Macy. “We can do this, right?” I offered her one of the swabs and opened wide.

———————

Mike: That Darius was definitely a keeper. It was kind of him to involve me in the testing. I moved closer to JJ. “This should be easy enough, right?” I smiled and gently took the test from her hands to look over the directions before getting the swabs out. “Open wide.” Moments later we had all the samples sealed and the packages labeled. 

——————-

Macy: Once we were all sitting back down, I let out the breath I was holding. “I think now we send them off, right? Or did I read that wrong?” Honestly, I couldn’t remember what I read. I just knew that the tests were done and we were, hopefully, one step closer to finding my sister. I wonder what she looked like.

------------------

JJ: I wasn’t sure I could have made it through any of this without Mike’s help. Even when he wasn’t right beside me or squeezing my hand, it was nice to know he was still there. I wasn’t sure what I did to deserve him being so kind, but I was extremely thankful. I just wished I could put it in words how much it all meant to me. I looked over at him and smiled.

--------------------

Darius: “We can drop them off at the post office on the way home.” I honestly didn’t expect things to go as smoothly as they did. It was a relief that Macy’s mother was cooperating with us. I didn’t have any inkling that she wouldn’t, just Macy's fear. “I’m not sure how long it will take for results. I think it said 2-4 weeks.” I looked over at Jasmine, “If we hear before you do, we’ll let you know. Right, Macy?” 

——————-

Mike: This visit has gone so much better than the previous one. I didn’t know what to expect with the DNA tests, but they were ready to send off now. “Would you like to stay for dinner? We could order out and eat here. Or we can go out if you prefer.” I wasn’t quite ready to say goodbye to Macy. But if Macy needed to go, I wouldn’t stop here. There would hopefully be a next time.

———————

Macy: I hesitated a little at my dad’s question. I didn’t want to leave yet because I had missed him and things were calm right now. But on the other hand, I was worried that one wrong word and everything would tumble around us. I sighed as I glanced over at Darius and smiled, “I’m okay with ordering out, if you are?” I wasn’t sure if he wanted to stay or not, but I wanted him to know I was open to it. At least for now.

-------------

JJ: I smiled at Darius and nodded, “And I’ll do the same for you both.” I held my breath at Mike’s question. I wanted Macy and Darius to stay longer. Things were going well. And though I could tell Macy and I were both still nervous and guarding what we said, we were both at a…truce I guess it could be called. I knew it wouldn’t always last, there were a lot of things we still had to discuss. I owed her that much, but for now? I didn’t want to ruin this time. I wanted to get to know my daughter.

-----------------

Darius: Her hesitation and that sigh. Macy was ready to leave. “Can we take a raincheck? I have a big project with Lisi due tomorrow and I should really review the changes.” I thought it might be for the best that we ended the visit on a positive note with everyone getting along. When she squeezed my hand, I could tell she was relieved not to be the one to say no.

——————

Mike: I was disappointed, but not entirely surprised that the kids decided not to stay. We had a good visit and no one raised their voice. Progress. “Of course, Darius. Deadlines are deadlines. Let’s plan on having dinner out in a few days.” A public place might be a good neutral ground at least. I got up to give Macy and Darius hugs and walk them to the door. “So glad you could stop by. Thank you again for the wonderful photos.”

——————-

Macy: I returned my dad’s hug tightly and kissed his cheek, “You’re welcome, I’m glad you love them. Happy Birthday again! Dinner sounds nice. We’ll talk about it later in the week.” As we reached the door, I turned and looked at Jj standing by her chair and offered her a small smile. “Thank you for agreeing to the tests, I really appreciate it.” I gave her a wave and headed out to the car with Darius. Relaxing for the first time since we got here.

----------------

JJ: I returned Macy’s smile and wave. It wasn’t much, but it was progress. Once they reached their car, I moved beside Mike and let out a breath. “Well, that went much better than expected, right?” We watched in silence as they drove off, and I couldn’t help but feel a little more hopeful about Macy and me.

----------------

[frustratedpoetwrites]

Where do we go from here?

This is almost like a reprieve in the middle of my story, just some letters Harry sent and some he received around the same time Ginny and Hermione went back to Hogwarts.

If you want to read from the beginning on Ao3 here

Chapter seven:  Letters

                   Gin

     It’s only been a day since I said goodbye to you and I miss you already. I hope you are settling back to school ok and the memories you have are kind. Let me know how your Quidditch tryouts go, I know you are going to be an amazing captain, much better than me. The plans you made up before you left are brilliant I hope you find good players that will do them justice.

   I have finally finished the mountain of forms I had to fill in at the Auror department and have been introduced to my training officer. His name is Robin Armitage and he really knows his stuff, he reminds me a lot of moody, but I would never tell him that.  Apparently, they had a feud. The training is tough, but nothing I can’t handle, as long as I pass my next round of exams I will be able to go out in the field. Ron is doing great too, though he has been grumbling about the paperwork and how much he misses Hermione.

   I saw George yesterday after I left kings cross, he sends his love and wants you to take a few products to try out, I’m not sure that would be the best of ideas but I told him I would ask. 

  I might be seeing you sooner than you think as I have to visit Kreacher and Professor McGonagall, although I don’t have a confirmed date yet, hopefully, I’ll get a chance to see you too.

   Last night when I laid down in my bed all I could think about was you, and the way you fill my world with your love. My bed felt very empty. I want to be honest, I want to pour my heart out to you on these pages but you know I’m not good at expressing myself with words. I’ll let my actions do the talking next time I see you. 

 All my love forever 

Harry x

   Hermione 

I hope you are still finding time to get yourself in trouble without myself and Ron to keep you from studying all the time. I hope that you and Ginny are helping each other to cope with the memories of last year. I think I’m onto something at work and I wanted to ask if you would check if there are any books about house-elf laws and if there are registers of them moving to other houses. I’m not currently permitted into the ministry archives unless I have a specific reference, and I found very little in the ministry’s ransacked library. Don’t worry I’m not trying to get rid of Kreacher I’m just working on a theory I have about house-elves that belong to death eaters. If I get a chance I’ll try to explain to you in person, as I don’t want to put too much in a letter. Just in case he hasn’t told you, Ron, is really missing you and he is being a miserable prat about it. I am missing you too it’s taking me twice as long to figure things out and I had to go to the library myself! Haha only joking. I miss having you to talk to every day it’s not the same in a letter. Please tell me how Ginny is coping for real, I know she will put on a brave front for me and not want me to worry, but I worry regardless and I trust you to tell me the truth. Hogwarts must be packed this year with double the first years and all the eighth years back. If you need someone to talk to you know I’m always here for you. 

 Love your friend

Harry 

     Harry

   So I’ve just finished try-outs for the team and I have to say I’m feeling pretty confident. The team is pretty much the same as when you were captain apart from finding replacements for yourself and Ron. Our seeker is a second-year called Drew and he is so fast on his broom and has a pretty good eye too. Finding a new keeper has been quite a bit more difficult, I had plenty of chasers but no decent keepers, but then Dean offered to switch positions saying he used to play goalie when he played football. He’s pretty good has sharp reactions just needs to learn to move around the hoops more. So the new chaser I chose is a fourth-year called Scarlet and she is pretty amazing, has a great sense of where she is on the pitch. Now that I have a team I can properly get down to working out a few play strategies. I want the team well drilled and confident before everyone’s workload starts to pile up. Thankfully only Dean and I have to worry about NEWTS.  

Hermione has already started to gently remind me not to neglect my studies, but if I want to be good enough to play professionally then Quidditch is more like an exam. 

  It’s so strange being back here, the castle looks exactly the same as it did before the battle and I think in some ways that’s worse, like it’s been forgotten, but it hasn’t. I see the memorial every time I go into the grounds it is quite beautiful in its simplicity.

    The new Transfiguration Professor is a very powerful looking witch called Rita Tawny, she’s almost as intimidating as McGonagall, my first lesson with her was so difficult, the seventh year is so tough already. 

  The new defence against the dark arts professor is from beauxbatons, he’s got a lot of the girls in quite a flap as he’s pretty hot looking in a Greek statue sort of way, not my type at all though. He’s friends with Fleur, I saw her here yesterday. She was visiting him and we got to chatting about all sorts. And sorry Harry but she knows our secret, she says it’s part of her Vela blood that she knew without me saying anything. But anyway I asked her about the argument her and Bill had on your birthday and asked if everything was ok now. She told me it was all because Bill was offered the defence job but turned it down, that wasn’t why she was mad at him though. She was mad because he hadn’t told her about it at all and she had only found out when her friend Cyprien Moreau, who is our new professor, told her. Apparently, Bill is still a bit put out because Fleur and Professor Moreau used to have a casual relationship, whatever that is. 

She gave me some great advice and a few things I want to try next time I get you alone. She also told me a really good birth control charm so we won’t have to worry about the muggle way, she also promised she won’t tell Bill. Hogsmeade still seems so far away right now I can’t wait to see you again. I hope you have something good planned and I’m hoping it involves as little clothing as possible. You better make sure you do see me if you visit the castle. I know you have that map so no excuses for not finding me. I miss you, so much. I hope your training is still going well and your training officer is making sure you keep up your studies too. 

I love you as much as there are stars in the sky and I can’t wait to be done with school for good so we can start our lives together.

 Always Yours

Love Ginny x  

     Mr. Potter

Thank you so much for agreeing to meet with me. I understand your reluctance to come into the profit offices directly. As such I have enclosed a list of dates I am available to meet with you at whatever location you would be most comfortable with. I am also happy with the non permitted areas of questioning. I am not in the least bit interested to write about your personal life and am not planning on asking any questions about it. Also at any time you are not happy with a line of questioning during the interview just say so. I look forward to hearing back from you. 

 Tom Francis 

Reporter Daily Prophet

Dear Mr. Potter

I cannot tell you how grateful we are to receive your generous donation to help us find and rehome all the displaced witches, wizards and their families.

Potter house is in a perfect location and has plenty of space for us to accommodate many. Please be assured that we are treating your family home and it’s contents with the highest of respect, and anything considered to be fragile or valuable has been relocated to either the attic space or to your vault. We are working hard to make your ancestral home a welcoming place once more and we hope you take the time to visit us once we are fully up and running.

Your Humble Servant

Sebastian Daniels

[lunaschild2016]

Belief - Part 5 (Edit)

Rating: M

Devi is Dauntless. Through blood sweat and tears she made a place for herself three years ago when she left her life in Amity behind. Not once in that three years has Eric Coulter even deigned to look her way. Not until that night. Now she has nothing but his attention. Eric/OC AU [Smut, Language, Romance]

{I do have the read more feature on this but it has been glitching. Sorry in advance!}

Part 5

  “You’ll never believe what I just heard….” 

The excited voice of Kari drifts to me from outside of the office I’m currently camping out in. 

I don’t need to know what she just heard because the look she cast at me when she hurried by the office lets me know what it is. The story I’ve been expecting and dreading to be circulated has finally hit the rest of Dauntless. My shoulders slump a little, but I can’t take the time to dwell over how the story might have changed and what’s being said I was caught doing with Eric in his office.

Yesterday was a crappy day and it’s not looking like today is going to be any better for me. Truthfully, I can’t blame any of that on work. That’s going great, amazing even. The extra help also came along with some much-needed supplies and a few pieces of equipment to replace the things that were on their last legs. I was even told that it looks like we might be able to get an upgrade to the station that lets us communicate with the doctors in Erudite. 

And all of that is exactly why I have been miserable as hell. Because I know who I have to thank for all of that. I just don’t have the actual nerve to face him and do it. 

As soon as I set foot in the office for debriefing yesterday morning it was loudly announced by a junior leader by the name of Edward, that there are new changes being made, care of leadership, specifically by order of the senior leader.

If that wasn’t bad enough, two of the Erudite nurses were overheard by Kari whispering to each other that they have all been given strict instructions and reminders that I’m the one in charge. Then, later on, I heard them myself as one whispered to the other asking ‘is that her’. 

Rumors about us were already making the rounds, thanks to my performance in the Pit that ended with me in his arms as he carried me out before this latest one hit circulation. Because of this, I had no intention of going to lunch. I don’t think Eric would’ve appreciated me being there either, judging by his angry look when I left him in his office.

My friends had been in constant contact after a worried Sadie sent them a group message telling them something happened between me and Eric but she didn’t know what, only that I came back home looking like fury incarnate. It took a flurry of text messages from my friends to calm them down, while I tried to beg off meeting anyone for lunch. That only ended with Tori knocking on the door of the exam room I was just finishing in, holding up a bag of food and making it clear we would be having lunch together.

I also knew Tori and while having lunch together isn’t unusual, where she took us to have it was what I call her advice spot. One of the roofs of the compound has been turned into a rooftop garden of sorts. No one knows how or by who it was started but I think it must have been some long ago Amity that wanted a bit of his old home at his new one. It’s covered in soft grass with the odd wildflower here and there. I think that Tori picked this place to take me when we first started having deep conversations because it was like having that bit of home for me too.

The sun and wind are refreshing to me, so for a few minutes I just lay back on the grass and soak them both up while she unpacks our lunch for us. 

Finally, she decides I’ve had enough of my quiet time and pushes my sandwich at me with a sigh. “So, I guess you know I heard a few things this morning.”

I snort and unwrap my food but just sit there looking at it afterward. “I’m sure you heard all about what a psycho bitch I am.”

She chuckles at that and shakes her head. “Neither of those words entered into the description. Although hard-headed, demanding, and frustrating ...those all entered the conversation.” Then she looks at me and laughs. “Now, Uri, on the other hand, might have said something about you looking like a woman who was pushed over the edge and was on your way to take out our fearless leader as you stormed your way through Dauntless. That was just from him seeing you stomp through the pit and hearing you cursing Eric out. He actually called and warned him before you got there.”

I blushed and took a bite of my sandwich and chewed while thinking. It’s quiet while we eat until she lays down her sandwich. I hear her take a breath and release it.

“I don’t know if I’ve said this to you before. I mean, it’s not like I go in for all that sentimental bullshit, but you’re like a daughter to me.” She says softly from beside me.

I swallow and look over at her. She isn’t looking at me but off into the distance. The erudite sector is a faint outline from here but is recognizable all the same. I think that’s also why she comes here at times, some part of her misses her old home too. 

Her admission leaves me at a loss for words. I guess she doesn’t expect any because she continues on without looking at me.

“I never wanted to get close to anyone again after what happened with George. I definitely didn’t want to get close to the lone Amity transfer that Dauntless has had in years, much less a tiny little girl.” She stops and looks over to me and grins. “One look at you slinking your way into my parlor and the defiance you had in your eyes, just daring anyone and everyone to say anything about you being there, got to me. You reminded me of both myself and George. Which of course made me crankier when you wouldn’t just go away.”

We both laugh at that but I can feel tears gathering in the corner of my eyes.

“You still remind me so much of myself, Devi. I just don’t know that it’s a good thing. I’ve held onto my anger and grief for so long that I let it make me hard and jaded. I know you like to tell yourself, and anyone who asks, that your life before in Amity was fine. That you aren’t upset or hurt by what was done to you there. I get that you don’t want to say anything bad about your family and that you still love them. But you got a raw deal in Amity, kiddo. It made parts of you hard that were never meant to be that way for you.”

“It wasn’t all from Amity.” I protest and see her looking at me with those eyes that can cut through all my bullshit.

“No. Some of it you brought on yourself.” She says and raises her chin, preparing for my argument and anger.

She’s right, I feel anger flaring in me violently. “How the hell did I do that? All I did was follow everyone's advice and put myself out there. To give dating and relationships another try, but look where that got me.”

Tori scoffed and looked away. “Because it was all in the choice you made. Out of all those guys that were interested, you picked Charlie. We all warned you about him, Devi. We told you he had an on and off-again relationship with Carmen for over five years; and that every time she came up supposedly single again, he would drop whoever he was messing with and go back to her. You knew all of that and you still went for him. I know you sure as hell weren’t crazy or even serious about him, but you hold onto the memory of that failed relationship like its a shield. Why?”

I sit quietly stewing in my anger as I look off into the distance not wanting to admit to myself that everything she said is true. I think back to that time and what drew me to Charlie in the first place.

It wasn’t long after I started going out and socializing that I turned my thoughts to maybe meeting new guys and dating again. If I’m being honest, I was just humoring my friends and didn’t really think there would be anyone interested in me. I agreed more out of the desire to make my new friends happy than anything else. So, when it seemed like there was always some new guy they wanted me to meet or that wanted to meet me, I panicked and realized I wasn’t ready for that, but couldn’t face telling them all this. 

Then one day I met Charlie.

He’s a patrolman that had to come into the clinic to be treated. I liked his smile and his easy-going manner. He asked me to have lunch with him and I accepted, but it was the kind of lunch you have with a new friend rather than a date to me. That lunch led to a few others, then a couple of dinners, then hanging out.

If I’m being completely honest, we weren’t really ever officially together. He never asked and I never pushed for that conversation. Being with him got everyone off my back and my friends stopping trying to set me up. I just kind of fell into the relationship with him, really. He wasn’t pushy in his advances but eventually, we did become intimate. I was never crazy attracted to him at all and the sex had been okay. Since he was gone a good majority of the time, it was easy to be ‘together’ with him. 

Why had I picked him? Back then I ignored the warnings and stubbornly refused to listen. Telling myself that I wouldn’t let anyone control my life, or me, ever again.  Then eight months later the safe little world I built for myself came crashing down when I got caught up in his drama with his ex. It was a big joke around Dauntless, Carmen’s marriage and constant on/off affair with Charlie. Apparently, she would usually make a big scene and leave her husband for one reason or another then hook back up with Charlie again. This time though, they were caught together by the husband and he was the one that left, for good this time.

She’s right that I knew going into it what the likely result would be no matter what lies I tried to tell myself to justify getting together with him. The real reason was that I knew it wouldn’t last and I was okay with that.

“Because I knew it would fail,” I whisper into the breeze but I feel Tori shift beside me and sigh. I turn to look at her and say it more firmly. “I knew it wouldn’t last and I think ...I think I wanted it that way. I knew it would end in him going back to her and that would give me an excuse. It would give me something else or someone else to blame for it. To have a reason why….” I trail off before I finish, ashamed of how weak it makes me feel.

She smiles sadly at me and nods. “To have a reason never to try again.”

I nod and wrap the sandwich up, having lost my appetite. “So it’s all my fault then? What happened with Eric?”

She snorted and then slapped me up the backside of my head. “Did I say that, idiot? Hell no. If anything I’m glad you’ve been standing up to him like you have. He needs someone that’s going to stand up for what she wants and call him out when he’s being an ass.”

“Then why…” I ask frowning but she interrupts me.

“Because you aren’t the only one with a past, Devi. He might not be going about it in the best of ways, but he is trying.” She is looking at me the entire time she’s talking and she tilts her head like she’s debating something. “He asked me about you. I don’t mean just in the last week either. Back when he first made leader, we worked together closely to bring down the Erudite conspiracy, to clean up the mess Max and the other’s created, and to get Dauntless back on track.  I would even say we became friends back then too. That’s when he asked about you, and I could tell there was interest on his part, but I warned him away.”

I frowned deeply and felt anger flashing but she again stopped me. “It wasn’t all to protect you, Devi. Neither of you was in a place where you had moved beyond your past. Hell, you guys might not be even now.”

“What…” I stop in the middle of my thought. Needing to know what could possibly be in his past won out over the thought that I had no right to ask. “What happened to him?”

She shrugged and looked away. “I don’t know the details other than there was a girl back in Erudite who chose someone else. That isn’t my story to tell anyway and it’s not why I wanted to talk to you.” She took a big breath and looked at her hands. “Everyone asks why I never got together with Bud before everything happened with the leaders. The simple answer was because I held on to bitterness and hurt for too long, and by the time I was ready, it was too late. He was gone. I’ll always regret that now. That I didn’t even try with him. I just don’t want that for you. So, even if this thing with Eric doesn’t work, at least you can say you tried.”

She had said what she needed and wanted to say. Then in usual Tori fashion, she moved on to another less emotional topic. It had left me lying in my bed that night, deep in thought and wondering what I really wanted. 

I still haven’t come up with an answer in the light of a new day. I’m not even sure I’ll have the chance to find out, because I still haven’t heard from Eric either. Not that I expected to really. He did say he was going to be busy even before what happened in his office and with the way I left things I don’t think he’s given me another thought.

I shake myself, literally, to clear my head and get back on task.

Morose thoughts and what if’s aren’t going to get the work done that’s still piled up in the office. Inventory needs to be taken. I have a few appointments with some of the older Dauntless to do some physiotherapy. I even talked a few into getting light adjustments and massages. 

So I gratefully plunge myself into it.

When lunch nears I debate my options. 

I can go grab something from a deli, go to the mess, or maybe even head to my apartment and grab whatever we might have there. 

The clinic is taken care of and I’m getting wary, nervous looks from the staff as lunch approaches. That rumor mill is hard at work again and they’ve all heard about the threats to those working here if I don’t take my damn lunch. I decided to at least just leave and make my decision on the way. Before I know it I’m just a few steps away from the mess hall. I think I already knew where I was going to go.

It has to be bad timing or the universe working against me. As soon as I get close I come even with a group about to enter the mess themselves. It’s a few of the leaders and senior ranked officers of Dauntless, with visitors from Erudite and Eric among them. He looks my way for a second before leaning in to say something to one of the men and then looking my way again. 

No, not just looking my way. He’s now actually breaking off and coming towards me. 

“Devi.” He greets me with a small nod. “Good to see you’re actually taking your lunch breaks now.” He smirks a little when I moodily cut eyes at him.

I shrug and look straight ahead as I resume walking. “Yeah well, you know how I get when I haven't eaten.”

He smiles at this. I feel it before I turn my head to see it. “Indeed I do.” Then the smile is gone and he looks around as we step into the mess. “Would you join us for lunch? I was actually going to contact you, but there’s someone here that it would be good for you to meet with.”

“So this is a business lunch?” I ask and damn myself for the tinge of disappointment I feel.

His jaw clenches and he stops me so that we turn towards each other. “This is me asking you to have lunch at the leader's table.”

Just because I’m fluent in two different languages does not mean that it makes it any easier to adapt to another one. Especially one as convoluted as ‘Eric-speak’. I narrow my eyes and do my best to try and translate the hidden meaning of his words, but he gets impatient and rolls his eyes.

“Okay then. Just remember that I asked first.” He grumbles, grabs my arm and then pulls me along to the leader's level. 

The tiniest smirk escapes me and I repress a laugh at his frustrated grumbling beside me. He doesn’t let go of my arm until he sees me going to take my seat. Then he releases and slides into the seat beside me with the visitors looking at us with interest. 

“Alyssa, Calvin, Elijah...this is Devi; the Head Nurse at the clinic as well as the Physiotherapist.” Eric motions to each of the people at the table. They are all Erudite which is clear by their manner of dress and the way they hold themselves. They each give me a nod of greeting but one eyes me a little critically before Eric continues on. “They are all in charge of different departments within Erudite and are here to assess some things for us. We’re trying to bring things to date and put a few others in place for the faction.”

I nod and smile distractedly at each of them in greeting. My attention is focused mainly on the foods at the table today. The few times I’ve eaten up here with Eric and the others, I’ve definitely eaten better than I usually do. It’s not that it’s fancy really just that the selections are always a bit healthier and lighter than the normal greasy, fried or heavy ones served on the lower level. 

Today that’s taken to a new extreme and the sight of all the fruits and veggies on the table has me drooling. It’s been ages since I’ve had the variety I’m looking at right now.

Tris, Four, and Tori all notice this and laugh at my expression but it’s Tris who speaks up to explain the difference today.

Technically she isn’t a leader. She turned the offer down after she ranked first in her initiation and it went to the second-ranked Edward. She did take an assistant and ambassador position though. It seems like her main role is to be a go-between or mediator for Dauntless and Abnegation. Tensions between the two factions are still high after everything came out about what was planned by the older Dauntless and Erudite leaders, no matter that the war they wanted never happened, many of her old faction are still wary of us.

Tris is the daughter of the main councilman, which is Abnegation’s title for their Senior leader. Their relationship and her having been well-liked and looked up to in her old faction helps to smooth things over. Her dad is a bit of a dick though. Even she admits that he’s difficult to work with. Her mom is really cool and part of why things are working out better now. Not only is she just an amazing person, but she was also Dauntless before she transferred. I might be biased when it comes to Tris’ mom though, considering she was the one that helped me decide to go where I belonged.

I will always remember her mom’s caring and kindness the day she held me as I cried while feeling like my world was ending.

“Usually when we have visitors the cooks add a bit more variety to the normal menu,” Tris says with a laugh and hands me the bowl of a summer fruit salad that had me internally moaning. 

I eagerly take it and start to scoop some onto my plate.

“Then you guys definitely should come to visit more often. I haven’t had this since before I got here.” I say as I smile widely and reach for the next platter of food to take from.

“I take it that you were a transfer?” The Erudite woman asks with derision dripping from the words. 

Eric tenses up beside me and across from me, I see Tori eyeing the woman like she’s seconds from snatching the hair from her head. Guess it’s a good thing there are three people between those two.

I look at Alyssa with a raised chin and smile proudly at her. “I found my way home from Amity.”

The man named Elijah interrupts whatever his faction-mate was going to say in reply. His eyes are almost appraising while he’s smiling at me. “That’s impressive. Amity going to Dauntless has always been the most difficult transition to make. It speaks to just how accurate you are that you made it. You had to be a true Dauntless to achieve that.”

“She is,” Eric says firmly after swallowing his bite of food. 

It seems to be a warning or threat directed at two of the Erudite. Alyssa and Calvin give him curt and respectful nods while Elijah is just grinning at Eric, almost as if he’s teasing him or amused by his defense of me.

“So she is.” He agrees softly and turns his attention to his plate. 

I let out a breath and exchanged looks with Tori who is smiling for some reason, then just shrug and dig into my food. I’m used to my friends carrying on conversations during meals and that extended to what I know happens during meals at the leader's table. I know what to expect when they all startup and at first I just listen to the conversations going on around me.

“I hope the new staff additions have been of help to bring the clinic back to where it’s at least manageable now,” Elijah says, catching my attention and forcing me to take part in the various conversations going on.

This catches me off guard because I really didn’t think there was going to be anything I could engage an Erudite in conversation over. I guess my expression says this plainly because he smiles at me in apology. 

“I’m sorry, I guess our titles or departments weren’t given in our introduction. By profession, I’m a doctor, but I stepped away from practicing when leadership asked to help get things back on track with our own faction. I also now head up the Health Services Department. One of my department's roles is to work with the other factions and their own health services if they have them or to stand in if they don’t. I’m sure you are well aware that cooperation has sadly fallen way behind and now it’s my job to see that it gets back on track. Since you’re the Head Nurse, this will see us working together fairly closely.”

He seems happy about that fact, or at least he was smiling as he said it. There’s something in his eyes though. Something nagging and familiar about the way he looks at me, appraising me even. I can’t place why they seem so familiar but I also don’t spend a lot of energy trying to. 

Not when I’m faced with the person that can finally hear about my ideas and has the ability to...maybe...see that they get put in place. 

Elijah has a small smirk tilting his lips as I switch from just concentrating on eating to excitedly launching into conversation with him. We go back and forth with ideas I have, as well as some of his own. When we get to the topic of our members being forced to go to the factionless when they either get to a certain age or too infirm, Tori and Tris join in since this is something they’ve had on their agenda to get changed as soon as possible.

It turns out that all the leaders in Dauntless are on board with that change. It’s also been approved by the city council. The problem is that the elderly and disabled members lose the ability to safely navigate the compound. It becomes dangerous with poor mobility or sight. There are even some cases of dementia and other diseases that affect the mind. In these instances, getting to and from places like the mess hall and clinic become risky ventures.

Before the end of lunch, I’ve already been informed that Elijah will be coming to the clinic to take a tour. I’ve also been invited to join the Dauntless group that will be going to Erudite where I will have the opportunity to tour the facilities and make further plans for my clinic. 

One lunch accomplished more for the clinic than anyone has been able to do in years. To be honest, this is leaving me dazed. I’m a combination of giddy, nervous, confused, and even a little... unsettled... by this new development. 

My slight discomfort might have been because Elijah seemed to be very familiar with all the reports and requests I’ve made over the years; paying special attention to the ones that weren’t the standard ones but things that I’ve come up with ideas and plans on how to solve. I think it was more to do with the fact that the entire time Eric had a smug and pleased smile as he sat silently beside me and watched the two of us closely with a hint of pride shining in his blue eyes anytime they met mine.

I’m not used to that from Eric when we’re around others. His normal demeanor is possessive, jealous even, that he doesn’t even bother to try hiding. I’ve even seen him come close to a pout when I’ve given anyone besides him attention at those lunches I shared with him here before. 

“See you soon,” Eric declared when I got up to leave lunch and hurry back to the clinic. I could only give a nodded response and hope I didn’t look like a fool when I scampered away hurriedly.

                           ************************************************

I whipped into the clinic like a hurricane, barking out orders and rushing to complete my own tasks. I wouldn’t say that I’m acting as bad as someone like Lynn, who is a complete hardass that takes no shit and has been known to kick some literal ass when someone in her patrol units fails to take her seriously, but I’ve been told I can be pretty bad at times.

Kari and Devin knew what was up the second I burst through the door and they knew better than to even try and give me any crap. They know when they can be playful and talkback or crack jokes and when not to. Some of the Erudite nurses try to mouth off when I give the order than anyone not attending to a patient will be cleaning, trying to tell me that’s not in their job description, but I take care of that pretty quickly.

The leaders haven’t cared to do a formal inspection of the clinic in years but I’m treating this visit like it will be. I’m just as busy as all the others I assign to tasks. I start in the office to get it cleaned up and at least organize the paperwork that’s still waiting to be done. After that, I take care of that and move on to the storerooms. Those are always a priority and don’t need much so I move on to getting the private exam rooms and other parts of the clinic clean.

By the time Elijah is due to arrive we have everything looking as sparkling as it can get, all the beds have been made with crisp sheets, and drawers that hold our supplies have all been organized and stocked. I can’t do anything about how the majority of our equipment and the clinic itself looks old and worn out, but I’ve made sure it’s all as presentable as I can get it. 

Shauna came in after I messaged her and helped and when we got the clinic itself sorted, I turned to the staff and started ordering everyone to get themselves straightened up and change if their scrubs are too dirty. Thankfully we have a stock of scrubs so that’s not too hard for the Dauntless staff. 

She walks along with me, giving everything and everyone a once over and lets out a relieved sigh when I give a curt nod of approval before breaking out into a smile. 

Elijah isn’t alone when he arrives but with how Eric announced for the entire table he would be seeing me again, I think I knew that he wouldn’t be. It isn’t just Eric and Elijah though and as soon as I see Harrison, one of the only old leaders that still remain, I know that the clinic is about to have its first inspection in years.

I snap out the order for attention and to present for the inspection. My Dauntless staff respond perfectly. All the Erudite, Elijah included are startled by the command and look at a loss for what to do but that doesn’t stop Eric and Harrison from looking pleased. Harrison gave a brusque nod and grunt of approval while Eric smirked briefly before they both got started on doing the personnel inspections. When Eric looked over to me at one point as I watched him do what was expected as a commanding officer, look over all the staff first, I felt a shiver of pleasure at the heat and pride in his eyes.

“At ease.” He finally gave the order to the room in general. “Devi, let’s show our guest around. Harrison, Shauna, you two go over the premises for safety and equipment checks.” 

I nodded and move forward to join Elijah then began to show him all the clinic. We discussed everything in regards to the limitations we had and what the clinic is supposed to be able to do. He had an assistant trailing behind us typing furiously what Elijah was saying in regards to what would need to be addressed first. Eric was following along and interjected as well about there having been plans once to move the clinic location to provide a better facility and to make it easier to access.

The problem with the current location is that it’s in a part of the compound that has only one route in and one route out and that’s deep inside Dauntless. When someone is really hurt they have to go all that way costing crucial seconds.  

I listen as the talk between themselves turns to not just moving the clinic but the fact that there should be live in staff from Erudite instead of the few that would deign to show up a few days of the week and only for a few hours at that. I can feel the blood in my veins beginning to boil when I think back on all those times when just having a nurse or doctor on staff could have made such a difference in the lives of the people here at Dauntless. 

When I think about the lives lost that we couldn’t save at the clinic because we just weren’t equipped or trained to.

“So you're telling me that we are supposed to have at least one doctor and three nurses from Erudite here? That they are supposed to be residing in Dauntless housing as well?” I try to keep the anger from my tone but I’m sure Eric picks up on it. Elijah doesn’t and answers for me.

There is something in the way his jaw tightens and his lips thin when he answers that distracts me for a moment but it passes quickly. “That was the idea, and about fifteen years ago there were actually a few Erudite that lived and worked on Dauntless premises full time. There is no record of why that stopped at that time other than it was a mutual decision. It might take some time but we are hoping to be able to arrange for that again.”

Talk turned to how that might be possible and carried on for the rest of the tour. Before he left, Elijah confirmed with me that I would be going to Erudite with a group of Dauntless and assured me I would be invited to spend the day with Elijah touring his department and other relevant areas.

Eric was hesitant to leave and I could tell he was trying to get a moment alone but it wasn’t possible. Instead, he just said he would be seeing me soon and left with the others.

He left me wondering and waiting, as I went to sleep that night hoping for a least a message from him and I hated that I felt so crushed when one never came.

                   **********************************************

I run my hand over the dress hanging on the back of my door and let out a tired sigh. The excitement of shopping for and picking out a new dress has finally worn off and back to where I started my evening out at. I hated admitting that not hearing from Eric once since he left my clinic two days ago got to me, but it did. At dinner in the mess, I once again found myself looking out for him even though I know he and the other leaders have been out of the compound for various meetings. I’ve been alternating between telling myself I don’t care, being livid at him, and denying how it feels like my heart is breaking a little. 

Before I left the mess hall, with Vera in tow, to go do a bit of what she calls ‘retail therapy’, I decided to write off anything further with Eric. 

I finger the material of the outfit I picked out for tomorrow and smile a little. When I picked it out with Vera’s help, I had been going for something that would still look Dauntless but that would meet and Erudite’s standards of being sharply dressed. 

I toyed with the idea of going with a pantsuit, even trying on a few of them, but with my height, I didn’t care for how much shorter they made my legs look. What I finally settled on is actually a dress and jacket combination. It isn’t outrageous or too sexy, although there is a definite Dauntless flair to it. Its what Vera called a little black dress and is a spaghetti strapped bodycon dress that goes to an inch above my knees. The neckline is a sweetheart that has a very slight v dipping in the center where it gives a peek of cleavage. Over the dress, I picked out a black pinstripe blazer to give it more of a professional look and for my own touches, I’m adding my metal belt and a new pair of heels that have a matching pinstripe pattern as the blazer.

I tried not to think of Eric at all when I was shopping, but I can admit now as I get ready for bed that he was always at the back of my mind. 

I hope he sees me and feels something. Maybe even feeling regret at letting me go? After all, if I’m feeling regret then I’m going to make damn sure that he does too.

                      ****************************************************** 

I wake up even earlier than I would normally. I have a plan to present a sleek look and that means straightening my hair. Not an easy or quick task. 

Sadie, god love her, even volunteered to help. So in thanks for that, I decided to drag my butt out of bed and head to my favorite place to get breakfast treats and coffee for us. They’re always open at ass early in the morning since they have to begin baking early for the morning patrol and guard shifts heading out.

I know that I look a mess right now since I’m still in my pajamas and my hair is falling in tangles I don’t bother to try and tame right now. I just shove my feet into the closest pair of shoes, which happens to be my work shoes, and stumble out of the apartment. 

I’m oblivious to anything else but the thought of getting coffee and a few of those bear claws that I love so much. The last time they were out by the time I made it in. I get caught up in sending up muttering threats that they better have them since I’m up so damn early just to get them and I don’t notice the person that I brush past. It isn’t until I hear his bellowed curse and he yanks me back and to him that I realize who it is.

“Goddammit, Devi.” A disheveled and sweaty Eric growls out lowly while walking me backward towards the wall in the hallway near my apartment. 

“What?” I ask in confusion as I try to push him away from me. 

“What did I say about you walking around like that the other morning?” He asks while pressing his body against mine, making me move back into the dark and against the wall even though I was trying to resist. All the fight seemed to go out of me and I couldn’t tell you why I was trying to fight him in the first place when every inch of my skin went to fire as soon as we made contact. 

Maybe it's because Eric makes me feel wild and out of control every single time we touch and I don’t know how to handle that. 

“I thought I told you I don’t care what you do or don’t like me wearing? What does it matter anyway? I’m just grabbing coffee and donuts before getting ready for the trip to Erudite today. I’m not about to get dressed just to go back and get dressed. Makes no sense.”  

He doesn’t answer me and I don’t know if he really even heard me. His mouth is getting closer to mine and his nostrils are flared while he breathes in deep ragged breaths. He’s feeling the same desire I am, maybe even the same pent up frustration that I’ve been feeling since this whole thing started as well. That thought just serves to piss me off because he hasn’t bothered to even try and contact me at all. 

So, I make another attempt to shove him away, hard, but he only catches my hands and forces them above my head.  

“What does it matter to you, Eric? It isn’t like you’ve even said one word to me outside of that trip to the clinic.” He covers me with his body while he brushes his nose against my neck and his teeth graze my ear. 

“What did you want me to say to you, little one? That I couldn’t get you out of my fucking mind the entire time I was at Candor?” His words come out in a low rumble. He shifts so that one of his hands are still pinning both of mine to the wall while the other he reaches out and grips the back of my neck.“Should I have told you that I was distracted the entire fucking visit to the prison by wondering what you were doing and if you were actually fucking eating instead of overworking?” 

His mouth claims mine for a fierce and passionate kiss before he breaks away with a growl.

“Do you want me to tell you that I spend a ridiculous amount of time with my hand wrapped around my cock while I’m thinking about you? Or how fucking maddening it is when I remember every time I’ve finally had you just where I’ve fucking wanted you…” He thrusts his hips forward and pulls back to look at me, his eyes blazing into mine. “But I never seem to be able to do what I want most. Do you want me to tell you that I still have the taste of you on my lips and that I crave more, or how I can’t wait to find out if you are as tight and wet around my cock as you were around my fingers?”

I whimper at the heat of his words and body as they crash into me. He shifted us while speaking so that now I’m practically straddling a thigh so hard and massive it can’t be real. I press forward, moving my chest that short distance from mine to his as I inhale the intoxicating scent of him.

It’s obvious he had either been out of a run or a work out in the training room. He’s dressed in a black shirt running shorts and a black shirt that has the sleeves cut off. The shirt is drenched in sweat, making it cling to his body. It should be disgusting to have his sweaty, messy body pressing against mine, to have his thigh pressing hard against me, making me become impossibly wet and aroused, but honestly, it just turns me on even more.

“Something is better than nothing. Especially when I thought you changed your mind after your office.” I manage to finally whisper my response to his admissions in a moment of being completely vulnerable just before his lips cover mine. 

My eyes flutter closed as I sigh into his mouth and our tongues slide against each other. His leg presses into me again and I moan when it registers that his shorts have ridden up, and all that tight bare flesh is pressing into me. My hips move on their own while Eric breaks away from the kiss and starts to kiss and lick along my neck.

“I've waited far too long for this to let you get away from me that easily, Devi” He murmured against my lips after moving back to them. “Why is it that when I finally have you like this, I never have the goddamn time to follow things through?” He says in a guttural groan full of frustration.

I let out a disappointed whimper but he grips the back of my hair and makes me look at him while still moving my hips along his leg with his other hand making me grind against him. 

“Dinner.” He growls and pulses up making me gasp out my response.

“What?” 

“I have to have dinner at Erudite tonight and I want you with me.” 

The non-lust filled and the completely hormonal portion of my brain is blaring an alarm at the command posing as a question. I take a breath that has a moan in it because, oh fuck he is biting my lip now…

Eric brushes his nose against mine and lets out a sigh of my name. “Devi.” His lips brush against mine again briefly. “I am trying.” 

I barely make out his whispered words over the thudding of my own heart and panting but they hit something inside of me. “Yes.” I whimper out as he presses his forehead to mine. 

He presses his lips against my mouth and I feel them curl up into a smile when he does. It doesn’t bother me because I know that behind the cockiness of that smile is happiness. I can feel it in his kiss. I can feel it in his hands as they grip my hip and hair tighter. 

If I thought he had been taking me over the edge before I was wrong. Somehow my shorts have shifted so that only the damp scrap of my black silk underwear is between his bare thigh and my pussy, and they seem to melt away from our combined heat. 

I grip his shoulders and help his motions along as I feel a tightening in my spine that radiates to my toes, making them curl in my shoes. My body starts to shake and I feel his chest rumble with pleasure as my climax rushes through me and I cry out into his mouth.

I don’t know how long it takes me to come down from the high but we holds me locked in place, kissing me with my head cradled in his hands. When we finally come up for air it hits me what I’ve done out in the open for anyone to see and I flush in embarrassment and the start of a little bit of shame. 

“Do you really think I would allow that?” Eric demands of me softly after he takes my chin in his hands and makes me look at him after I hissed that thought out in a curse at him and tried to push away from him. “No one gets to see or hear you that way but me, little one.” He rasped out with his nostrils flaring and eyes darkened.

It’s then that I realize, not only did Eric position us far enough back in the alcove that no one would see us, but that he is also standing guard in front of me, completely shielding me from being seen. 

I nod a little then flush in pleasure when he tenderly starts to help me straighten up only to give a sharp gasp when he finishes by reaching out and pinching one of my hardened nipples straining against the material of my sleep top. I snap my eyes to his and am about to let him have it when I see he’s not even looking at me. He’s focused on where his finger was that he now has his hand covering. He groans and licks his lips then looks straight in my eyes and yanks my keys from the pocket of my shorts and pulls me along with him the short distance to my apartment. He gets the door open and me pushed in before I can think to protest at all, the door slamming behind us.

“Which one is yours?” His arms snakes around my waist. I point into the direction just before he lifts me in his arms so that my legs wrapped around my waist and our mouths crash together in a hungry kiss.

“I thought you said you didn’t have time for anything?” I panted once he released my mouth the kiss and pushed my door open with his foot.

“I’m making time to get a real taste of you, Devi.” He tosses me onto the bed and my body bounces up. He already yanked my shoes off, but they were barely on my feet, to begin with. Then he immediately moved his hands to my shorts, yanking them down before my back hit the bed again. 

He tosses them to the side without once taking his eyes off of me. I’ve heard the saying that someone was feasting their eyes on someone but never experienced before until now with Eric and had a feeling that his mouth was going to soon follow that expression.

Eric leans over me his hands pulling me closer to the edge while he brushes his lips down my body, starting from where my shirt is bunched up and exposing my stomach down until his nose brushes just above my swollen sex.

“So fucking perfect.” I feel him breathe the words against me. “Goddamn, you already smell addicting.” He lifts his head and looks at me as he pulls me until my ass is right at the edge of the bed. “Did you know you taste sweet with just a hint of spice? Fucking mouthwatering.” 

I can’t find a response to that as he sinks down to his knees and runs his fingernails up my legs slowly. I go into a full-body blush at his words and the way I’m so exposed right now. 

I’ve never been spoken to like that before or even during sex but the raw hunger in his words and eyes has me instantly moaning and trying to clench my thighs together.  

“Show me you want this, little one. Open up.” He commands me.

“I do want this, Eric,” I respond after only a second of hesitation but only open my legs a tiny amount.

“Then show me,” He challenges me with his words and that infuriating lifted eyebrow of his.

I bite my lower lip and decide to do one better than just opening my legs. Before I can really think about what I’m doing, I lift my feet so that each one is on either side of his head, resting on his shoulders. I even moved even further towards him so that my legs were spread wide open. I’m breathless by the time I stop moving and look at him with what I hope is a challenging return look, but I’m pretty sure my face is in flames at the moment.

His answer is licking his lips before they twist into a wicked grin. He grips my thighs and pulls me so that my ass comes off the bed and his breath is heavy on my swollen lips. 

“Now watch,” He growls before he lunges towards my center. 

My legs are trembling the instant he issues that command and it gets worse the second his tongue swipes up my folds in a teasing, tasting motion. I feel like I’m already going to break apart and I know he’s just getting started. It leaves me wondering what it's going to be like when we finally do fuck.

That’s the last sane thought I have as his mouth and tongue proceeds to devour me just like I thought he would. I tried not to look away from him but my eyes keep rolling up out of pleasure and long moans are torn from me.

Each time I lose eye contact with his eyes that are like blue daggers piercing into me, his fingers dig into the flesh of my thighs and he growls into my while shaking his head from side to side slightly. 

I curse him while trying not to beg him to make me come while those eyes shine with pleasure the entire time. He brings me to the edge twice, each time leaning back with a smug grin just before I’m about to explode. I know he wants me to beg and he won’t give in until I do. 

I hate him at this moment. I hate how much control he has over my body and me. But it seems to drive my desire for him even higher.  

“Por favor,”

I don’t know what makes him decide I’ve had enough torture. It could have been my broken and breathlessly whispered plea but something in his eyes soften before he leans back and nuzzles me before diving back in and the descent into madness truly begins.

His tongue vibrates against my clit as he slides one that quickly has a second joining it. It didn’t take me long to get to the edge again. I could feel it start with the tightening up and down my spine, making me arch off of the bed and grip the sheets tightly and crying out that I’m close. Eric lifts his head, turning to place a soft kiss on each of my thighs and raises up, while still moving his fingers inside of me, pumping into me with a bit more force and hooking them so that they rub right against my g spot.

He moves so smoothly, like liquid, until his mouth is hovering over mine and he never once stopped moving inside of me. “Devi,” His deep gruff voice vibrates from his lips to mine where they are brushing against each other. “Come.” 

And I do. So hard that I feel like it rushes out of me and coats his hand as I call out his name before he swallows that and the rest of my cries in a kiss that we linger over until it turns into a languid brushing of lips.

I’m still reeling from the hardest orgasm I’ve ever had and it takes me a second to realize that Eric stopped kissing me and moved away. I raise my head from the bed with a frown, half expecting that he’s leaving but see that he’s actually headed into my bathroom. A second later I hear water running then shuts off and he walks out with a washcloth in his hand. I raise up on my elbows in slight confusion then gasp and blush when he kneels down and gently runs the soft cloth over my thighs and sex. He chuckles and leans down to place a kiss right below my navel then helps me to slide my shorts back on.

When he stands up, he also takes my hand to help me sit up on the bed. Bringing me eye level with a very large bulge in his shorts, making me eye it and him hungrily again. I have a desire to return the favor but Eric has other plans when he bends down and picks up the underwear I was just wearing and puts them in his pocket with no shame while my mouth drops open in shock and my eyes snap to his. He smirks and shrugs at me in response.

“Call them a rain check voucher for that return favor you were just contemplating.” He sighs and helps me stand up. “Until then I guess another cold ass shower is in my future.” He grumbles more to himself than to me.

“Sorry, not sorry,” I sass him with a, hopefully, carefree shrug and smiling widely when I really I’m feeling as frustrated as he is right now despite having just come. He squeezes my hand quirks a smile as I walk him to the door. It isn’t until he has it open and is about to walk out of it that I remember what I was going to do before he stopped me and now I don’t have time for. “Dammit, I was going to get shit from the bakery and now I can’t!”

He looks over his shoulder at me with a shit-eating grin. “Sorry, not sorry.” He winks at me and laughs when I scowl and slam before the door of my apartment in his face. I hear him chuckling through the door and then calling out to me that he’ll see me soon.

I bite my bottom lip to stop a stupid grin from crossing my face and fail. I yell out for Sadie to wake up and rush to my bathroom, even more, determined to look my best for the day, especially since I have an unexpected dinner date with Eric.

[mab2184]

Valentine’s Day- Joshaya Fanfic Chapter 1

Josh woke up suddenly with the familiar ringing of his alarm reverberating in his subconscious. It took him a couple of seconds however to notice that the song that usually woke him up- "It's a beautiful day," by U2 was NOT what was ringing in his ears. It was an obnoxiously loud and terribly sung birthday song. The tone was off-key and the voice sounded like one of those munchkin videos. Who the hell was singing like that?

He sat up on his bed and spun around towards the direction of the singing to notice none other than his college best friend, Andrew Watkins. Andrew was excitedly jumping up and down in the middle of Josh's dorm room as he bellowed out the birthday song at the top of his lungs and threw a bunch of confetti in the air, thereby littering Josh's impeccably clean dorm room. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAREST JOSHIEEEE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUU! YAYYYY!"

"HOLY CRAP! ENOUGH DREW!" Josh yelled as he felt his ear drums close to bursting from his friend's terrible voice. "I got it. It's my birthday. Please, if you care about me, just stop!"

"HOW OLD ARE YOU NOW?! HOW OLD ARE YOU NOW?!" Andrew continued singing even more loudly.

"OH MY GOD, DREW! IM GOING TO KILL YOU NOW!" Josh leapt off his bed and charged towards Andrew, ready to pummel him.

"OK! OK! I'M DONE!" Andrew held up his hands in surrender, and backed off from a clearly annoyed (and still sleepy) Josh. "Dude, chill. It's your birthday. Why would you want to start off with the murder of your adorable friend?" Andrew gave him a wide, toothy grin.

Josh just shook his head in disbelief at his friend's antics and took a look at his room which was now all covered in pink confetti. "Holy crap. Dude, you cleaning this up right?" Josh felt he was going to have a heart attack. He wasn't necessarily a neat freak but he had just spent a good part of his Saturday a few days ago cleaning up his room. And now, all of his hard work had been completely destroyed.

"Dude, nah, I can't, I got an exam in like two minutes. I shouldn't have even come here." Andrew responded as he checked the time on his phone and dropped something that looked like a cake box on Josh's desk. "This is from Jas." He said, pointing to the cake. "She said it's your favorite. Although, I didn't know you had a favorite cake? You like never eat cake. You eat veggies like all the time. When did you and Jas talk about this?"

"Dude, so you're seriously not cleaning this up?" Josh glared at Andrew in disbelief.

"Noo-ppe. Love you though man. Happy birthday! Jas and I will see you for lunch? We're treating you. Sounds good?"

Josh didn't respond. He kept staring at Andrew with a sour look on his face, and already thinking of ways to get revenge on his friend for trashing his room on his birthday of all days and just running off.

"O...kay. Silence means consent. Lunch it is! See you later, bud. Bye!" Andrew quickly ran off, sensing from the look on Josh's face that he had sufficiently angered the birthday boy.

Josh ran his hand through his hair and sighed loudly in frustration. "I'm going to kill him." He muttered to himself as he glanced around at his room once more. His attention finally settled on the cake on his desk. With a slight smile on his face, he walked towards it and opened the box, curious to see if Jasmine, Andrew's current girlfriend and Josh's friend as well, had really remembered his favorite cake flavor. He couldn't even remember having that conversation with her. He opened it up to see a scrumptious red velvet cake and his smile grew even wider. He would make sure to say a big thank you to Jasmine, after he killed her boyfriend.

He picked up the cake and was about to put it in his little dorm fridge when he heard his phone ringing. Quickly setting the cake down, he rushed to his bed and fumbled through his bed covers until he found his phone buried underneath. Glancing at the caller ID, he felt his smile grow a thousand times wider and his heart skip a beat as he quickly answered the phone. "Maya?" He whispered her name softly.

"BOING!" Maya responded enthusiastically. Josh grinned from ear to ear at the sound of her voice. He could almost picture the look of pure happiness on her face as she yelled out her favorite nickname for him, and he couldn't help but feel his heart expanding with euphoria.

"Boy, aren't you cheery this morning. To what do I owe this awfully excited and sugary cheery Maya?" He teased lightly.

"To your BIRTHDAY, you old man you!" Maya exclaimed and immediately commenced to sing the birthday song. Josh almost dropped the phone in shock as he listened to her angelic rendition of the song which his best friend had butchered just a few minutes before. He had heard of Maya being a good singer but he had never actually heard her sing by herself. The rare occasions in the past that he had witnessed her singing was during Matthews Christmas family gatherings. But even then, they were all singing traditional carols together as a group so he hadn't noticed anything particularly special about the beautiful blonde's voice...until now. My God, I could listen to this all day, he thought dreamily to himself as he felt himself completely entranced the more Maya sang.

"Happy birthday Josh! Wishing you lots of happiness today!" Maya exclaimed joyfully after she finished singing. Josh was literally tingling with euphoria as Maya's voice still echoed in his ears. He laid down on his bed, pressed the phone gently to his ear, and took a few seconds to consider his next words before he spoke.

"First of, my God, Maya, you have an amazing voice. I mean, I'm speechless right now. I'm pretty sure that was the best birthday song that I've ever heard in my 18 years of life. Please don't tell my parents or Cory that. Especially, Cory. He might be devastated." Maya burst out laughing at this comment, the sound of which filled him with a soothing warmth. That's another sound that I could listen to all day, he thought to himself. "Secondly, thanks for calling. You've definitely made my day after it was almost ruined by my soon to be ex-best-friend."

"Oh no! What did Andrew do?"

"Oh you know- woke me up with a birthday song that wanted me to kill him and then also kill myself and scattered my entire room with pink confetti- which by the way- he's not cleaning up. So yeah, I was pretty pissed before your call."

"Shoot! Why didn't I think of that?" Maya exclaimed amidst laughter.

"Uh no. You would have been on my naughty list if you had done that. You're on my good list now. Don't ruin it kiddo."

"Yes sir! Anywho what are your plans today birthday boy?"

"Hmmm," Josh thought as he took a quick look at the time- 9:30am. He had to go to class in an hour. Maya had called him at the perfect time. And then it hit him. Why was she calling at that time? Didn't she have school? It was a Wednesday morning.

"Hold on. As much as I'm enjoying this convo, don't you have school right now? How are you able to talk on the phone?"

There was a short pause where Josh could almost hear the wheels in her head turning trying to come up with a credible excuse for why she wasn't sitting in a classroom in that moment.

"Um, well I AM in school." She finally spoke. "Just not in a classroom..."

Josh burst out laughing, already anticipating where this was going.

"So you're cutting class- to call me." He responded, shaking his head slightly. It was classic Maya.

"Well, not exactly," Maya responded. "I might have asked your brother if I could go to the bathroom and I kinda haven't returned yet. It's been ten minutes now I think? I should probably get going before Riles organizes a search party to come looking for me." This comment made Josh burst again into laughter as he imagined his niece recruiting a search party which would probably comprise of Lucas, Zay, Farkle and Smackle- their friend group- roaming through the halls of Abigail Adams high school looking for Maya who was probably hiding in a bathroom stall. He laughed so hard he started to feel tears at the corner of his eyes.

"This is hilarious." He responded as he wiped the tears off. "Yeah you should probably get going because my adorable- but slightly overprotective niece- will definitely do that. She kinda takes after her father don't you think?"

"Oh my God, they're practically twins!" Maya quickly agreed as Josh smiled warmly. He absolutely adored his family and was even more grateful that Maya was practically a part of it. One of his favorite conversation topics with her whenever they ran into each other at family gatherings was poking fun at his family's crazy antics.

"Alright, Maya, I'm going to let you go before you get caught. Thanks again for calling."

"Wait, not so fast!" She yelled. "You still haven't told me your plans! It is Valentine's Day after all, and your birthday. I assume you are busy?"

Josh grinned- not exactly sure where she was going with this. Was she trying to ask him out? He decided to entertain her for now by giving her the details of his day as he currently had planned.

"Well no. I'm actually not too busy today. I have class, a lunch with Andrew and Jasmine- though that might probably turn into a funeral so stay tuned-" he heard Maya giggling at this, which made him feel warm inside- "and then more class, and that's about it. I got lots of homework to catch up on though. But in terms of birthday stuff- I'm coming over to Cor's on Saturday for dinner. I assume you will be there?"

"Um yeah duh. I practically live there." Josh laughed.

"Good point."

"So what I'm hearing is that Boing Matthews doesn't have a romantic dinner date planned on this beautiful day of luvvv?"

Josh chuckled- sensing exactly where the conversation was going. "Um no, I do not actually. Shocking, I know. Not sure what it is about NYU girls- I seem to be invisible to them apparently." That last part was a lie. Since starting his Freshman year of college, he had probably been asked out like 3 times which made him quickly realize that girls were a lot bolder in college than they were in high school where the norm was to wait for the guy to make the first move. One girl- Emily- he had actually gone on a date with. She was in his Spanish class, the first semester, a pretty blonde from Canada. They had shared a love of Spanish language and culture. One of Josh's dreams was to study abroad in Spain at some point in his college career. One date with Emily though was enough for him to realize that they would be better off as friends, so he quickly made sure things didn't progress any further.

And then came the weekend he would never forget, just over a month ago, when he accompanied Cory's class as a chaperone to their annual ski trip and ended up finally admitting (and accepting) his growing feelings for his niece's best friend. His affection for Maya had slowly developed over the years with every encounter he had shared with her. He wasn't sure when that affection evolved into something more but it probably started after she barged into NYU last Spring and started spilling her feelings out to Josh, Andrew, Jasmine and Charlotte during their small hangout party.

After that moment, Josh never forgot the intensity of Maya's gaze, the conviction with which she declared her feelings for him and the reasons she felt that way. His heart was racing as he listened in shock to every observation that Maya made about him. He couldn't believe that she had been paying that much attention to him- that she found him so worthy of her attention despite everything that was going on in her life.

When Maya was done speaking, it immediately occurred to him that he had never met a girl like her before- fearless, persistent, and extremely protective of those she cared about. In that moment, he was no longer able to dismiss Maya's feelings as an adolescent crush. They were genuine- he could feel them. Maya was a lot more mature than he had given her credit for and he couldn't help but be speechless as he gazed at her in silent awe. He had promised Maya at the end of that encounter that he would start seeing her differently. And he had kept that promise, especially in the quiet moments when her gaze, her mischievous smile and her words would invade his daydreams. I like you Josh. I'm in it for the long game. For a whole summer last year, she was all he could think about. And even though he was still bothered by her age, he could feel his walls getting weaker until they completely crumbled near the warm fireplace at the ski lodge when she gazed at him with utter adoration and declared yet again with utmost confidence- "I like you, Josh. It's you I like." He couldn't deny the effect she had on him anymore- his rapidly beating heart, the butterflies in his stomach, the elation on his face when he realized that she still liked him, and definitely not the cowboy.

Long story short, they were now playing the long game. Friends, until they could be something more at the appropriate time. And so far, he was satisfied with the way their relationship was progressing in their one month of playing the long game- frequent texts, occasional calls and of course the goofing off and flirtation whenever he would stop by the Matthews to do his laundry. There was a small part of him however that worried that Maya would be so focused on the long game and on someday that she would miss out on her high school experience. Zay raised this concern when he had first visited the Matthews after the ski lodge trip, and it had bothered him ever since.

As far as he knew, Maya was quite innocent when it came to relationships. She had never dated before and Josh was her first serious love interest. As much as Josh hated to think about it, he didn't want Maya shutting herself off from the possibility of other relationships or interests because of him. After all, who knew if he was the right person for her? Anything could happen in the future. He didn't want Maya putting her life on hold for a future that was far from certain. But he also couldn't imagine a future without her in it, and if she did seriously pursue other love interests, then perhaps someday might never be...

Needless to say, he felt conflicted about whether he had been selfish in promising her a someday and a long game which sounded nice in theory but in practice was probably extremely confusing and complicated for a 15 year old girl in high school. Was he ultimately hurting Maya, especially if they continued to grow closer and things didn't work out the way they both desired? It was a question that lurked in the back of his mind and haunted him in the moments when he felt their bond growing stronger- like now, on the phone, laughing and flirting with each other, neither one particularly ready to let the other go although they were both running out of time.

[dazstormretro]

My PS1 gets Stolen! - Spring 1998

My first Mario experience had been way back in 1992 with Super Mario 3 on my mates NES. Being a hardcore Sega fan during this period the thought of playing a Nintendo console felt simply.... wrong. But as it turns out my first encounter with the little Italian plumber had a lasting impression on me, so much so that later that year I would sell my Sega Mega Drive, say goodbye to Sonic and purchase a Super Nintendo. Bundled with a free copy of Super Mario World I powered up the system and from that moment on I became a huge Mario fan, spending the next few months unlocking all 72 levels, finding all the coloured Yoshi’s and making it my mission to complete Star Road.

Fast forward to March of 1997 and the eagerly anticipated Super Mario 64 was finally released in the UK after much speculation and hype. All over the country eager gamers had been reading about this new Mario title for years, drooling over every leaked screen shot and hoping this new game could live up to its predecessor. Turns out it did and then some with magazine scores nearing 100% all through the board. At the time of the games release I didn’t yet own an N64 so I had to wait until the following year before I got my teeth into Nintendo’s breathtaking new platformer.

Funnily enough Mario 64 wouldn’t be my first N64 purchase, that honour was given to Goldeneye. Being a skint student I wasn't in a situation of being able to afford more than one game so decided to wait until my birthday in the February. Before I knew it that day had arrived and by the end of February of 98 the Super Mario 64 game cart had been permanently locked into my console.

It now sounds like the old cliché but it really did feel life changing (at least in the mind of a gamer) playing Mario 64 for the first time. I’ll never forget being greeted by a giant 3D Mario face on the games title screen before hearing Princes Toadstools voice for the first time as she read out loud a letter to our hero. From here I was met with an open world where the player was encouraged to explore huge environments which felt so cutting edge. Add to this Mario’s new and diverse range of moves, the ability to access so many different levels from the off with no time limits and the stunning 3D polygonal graphics made Nintendo’s latest instalment unforgettable.

It was now approaching the end of spring, Easter had been and gone and I was back at university ready for the summer semester. Having sunk countless hours into this fantastic title trying to discover every level and every hidden feature the game still drew me in. Between lectures, exams and drunken student nights Mario 64 was always sat there waiting to tempt me back, beaconing me to complete just one more level, find one more of its 120 power stars or simply explore its free roaming world.

Eventually I would dust down my PlayStation and play a quick game of Doom or attempt to try and beat Emerald Weapon in Final Fantasy 7 (without any luck might I add) but I would always find myself returning to Mario.

After receiving the next instalment of my student later that year I decided to treat myself. Having played mainly N64 games since January I thought I would give the old PlayStation a bit of love and opted for a new fighting game for a change of pace. I had always been a massive Street Fighter 2 fan but hadn’t owned a title from the franchise since Super Street Fighter 2 on the SNES so decided to pick up a version. For some reason I came across Street Fighter Plus EX in my local Game Station. Unlike previous Street Fighter titles this version was a 3D polygonal fighter similar to Soul Blade which my mate Ste had brought over earlier that year. Having thoroughly enjoyed Soul Blade and with my love of all things Street Fighter I presumed this would be a good investment, turns out I was very wrong. The blocky graphics, the sluggish gameplay and the obscure cast of characters made for a terrible gaming experience so soon found itself back on the shelf with the console.

It was now late July and my first year of university would soon be over. Most of my course work was finished and I was preparing to move out of my student dorm and head back to my parents house for the summer vacation. Having already sorted out my student house for the following year the final week of term was mostly dedicated to partying, playing video games and packing my bags.

It was during this last week that one of my dorm mates asked for a favour, could he borrow my PS1 over the summer? Still heavy invested in my N64 having not yet tired of Mario 64 and Goldeneye I happy agreed, after all I didn’t even have the console currently set up. Later that day I packed up my boxed PS1, two controllers with a bunch of games and handed them over for my mate to look after until the new semester in the September.

Unfortunately that would be the last time I would ever see my precious PlayStation as this ‘so called friend’ for some unknown reason never returned to university the following year, taking both my console and games with him. This was a harsh lesson to never lend out video games to mates, especially mates who live at the other side of the country and who you’ve only known for nine bloody months!

Having lost one of my gaming consoles was extremely annoying back in 1998 but there was a silver lining on the horizon with a massive new release about to hit the shops, a release which I had been waiting for since my Super Nintendo days.

[takemob-stuff]

Takenaka accidentally hearing Mob's feelings and not being able to look at him for a whole week

It had been movienight at Reigen’s office, just a little celebration since entrance exam seasonhad come to an end.

 They drew lots on who got to choose the movie. Takenaka preparedfor a shitty night because there was a 40% chance that they’d be stuck with ashitty movie given Shou and Teru’s tastes and love of irony.

 True enough they got stuck with a Nick Cage movie and ratherthan comment out loud and be berated, he sent telepathic messages to Mob, who’dnod or chuckle at his comments.

 It was a particularly bad scene and he had a plethora ofsarcastic remarks which had Mob covering his mouth in an attempt to suppresshis chuckles. The telepath noted the way his eyes crinkled and tears of gleethreatening to spill. The sight sent a little flutter in his chest. He didn’teven notice that the loveseat they shared had started floating and only did sowhen it’s landing had startled everyone else too.

 He raised an eyebrow at them as if confused on whythey were staring. The telepath shared a knowing look with Shigeo the momentthey resumed watching. Mob smiled and leaned closer to Takenaka, their armspressed together. He sighed.

 This is why I love Takenaka-kun so much.

 The telepath stiffened. 

 Did he hear that right?

 The shorter boy shifted and cautiously glanced atthe other occupant of the loveseat.

 Did he hear me just now?

 He could see a hint of worry flash in Shigeo’sfeatures, heard the panic in his voice. Thatwas something he wasn’t supposed to hear.

 "T-that was surprisingly gorey" Takenakapointed at the screen, making it seem like that the movie’s cheesy effects waswhat caused his reaction. He chuckled in a way that he hoped didn’t sound awkward.Shigeo seemed to relax at this. Takenaka did too. 

Still. He needed to process what he just heard.Their proximity wasn’t helping. He moved closer to the other end of theloveseat and focused on the movie. He could feel Shigeo staring at him intentlyafter that action. He brushed it off as if it was nothing and proceeded withmore commentary. Shigeo shifted back to his side of the loveseat. 

 Now he could think.

 Feelings were a lot to process. And it would reallyhelp if he and Shigeo hadn’t built a sort of routine with each other. Hecouldn’t just not show up to any of that. Kageyama would have a hunch that he’dheard and didn’t say anything. Guess he’d just keep it a secret until the timecomes.

 Until what time comes? He didn’t know for sure.

 For now, he just needed to get through today. Heclutched at the book he brought for the day. 

 He saw the familiar bowlcut exit the Kageyamahousehold

 "Morning Kageyama,“ when Mob turned tolook at him, Takenaka found he couldn’t quite look at him without gettingflustered. He decides to look up at the sky and didn’t even wait for a replyfrom the other boy.

“Nice weather today, huh?" 

 "I guess." 

 They walked to school in their usual comfortablesilence. He kept a good distance between him and Kageyama. The telepath doesn’tthink he can handle having their fingers brush against each other. It’ll blowwhatever progress he had towards normalcy.

 Morning classes went off without a hitch. He wasseated at the back and could easily turn to the window when Kageyama wouldsneak glances. Did Mob do that before or was he doing that more than usual?

 Doesn’t matter. It was lunch time. Which means usinganother set of diversionary tactics. In his periphery, he saw Mob walkingtowards him. Takenaka stood up and made it seem like he was looking forsomething out the door.

 "Hey, wanna try eating lunch with your brotherand Suzuki? We haven’t done that in a while.”

 "Um.“ Mob attempts to follow his gaze andprobably saw the nothingness the telepath was staring at. His shoulders slumpedslightly.  "Okay.”

 When he had finished his lunch, Takenaka observedthat Shigeo was distracted by Suzuki and Ritsu’s banter. Good.

 He brought out his trusty copy of Harry Potter andthe Philosopher’s Stone. His go to series when he wanted to unwind. This wasfine. He could refrain from having eye contact and shy away from pressingquestions by pretending to be distracted by what he was reading. This wasprobably a bad idea. He couldn’t put the book down now. 

 At least it helps with emotionally distancinghimself from Shigeo.

 The only thing that differed for the rest of theweek was which Harry Potter book Takenaka was holding. That and the state ofShigeo’s hair and uniform which looked a tad bit messier with each passing day. 

 It was finally the weekend. Unluckily for him, heoff handedly promised to watch the psychics train. 

 Shigeo sat beside him in the bus going to a secludedforesty place.

 He plugged in his earphones and stared out thewindow. Takenaka could see Shigeo’s reflection. He was surprised to see howworn out the pale boy looked. There were dark circles under his eyes, his hairslightly tousled. Shigeo stared at him. The telepath was quick to look atanywhere else. A look of hurt flashed in the psychic’s features. He quietlysettled back down on his seat.

 With the Deathly Hallows in hand, Takenaka lookedfor the perfect spot to read and not be in danger of getting hit by random projectiles.Shigeo plopped down on the clearing.

 He could feel three sets of eyes shift between himand Shigeo. The telepath couldn’t tell if they were planning something. They’veall learned to block him to some degree by now.

 When nothing happened after that little huddle, hedecided to relax against his chosen tree. Thirty three chapters in and he hearsrumbling. “Test your barrier against this, you rat lover!” Shou makesan offended sound before he obliterates the boulder Ritsu could apparentlycarry now.

A pointed fragment the size of a golf ball grazeshis cheek. He swears he saw Ritsu smirk. 

 "Ah! Shit. Can’t you guys be more careful?“

 Takenaka felt something wet dribble down his cheek.He wiped at it with his thumb. Blood. Great.

 "Takenaka-kun! Are you okay? Hanazawa-kun, doyou have the first aid kit?”

 Shigeo’s voice was tinged with panic. Hanazawa comments on how itwasn’t like Takenaka lost a leg or something like that.

 “I’m fine.” Takenakacalled out. “I just need a little disinfectant.”

 Mob came over withthe entire kit. “Gee, Kageyama, the disinfectant would do. You didn’t need-”

 “Let me see.” Shigeofirmly said as he gently lifted Takenaka’s chin to get a better view of thewound. Takenaka tries not to get flustered and refused to look at Shigeo. Mobsighed in relief when he saw that the cut wasn’t too deep. The older Kageyamaturned to the others. “You can proceed with training now. I’ll just treatTakenaka-kun’s wound.”

 “Kageyama-kun, Icould-” Hanazawa was about to offer when Ritsu stopped him. “If nii-san said he’ddo it, let’s let him. Let’s go over there.” The younger Kageyama proceeded tolead the other espers elsewhere, nodding to his brother as he leaves.

 Shigeo unpacks thegauze, antibiotic ointment, soap and a towel. “Kageyama,” He turns to hisbackpack and grabs his water bottle. “Kageyama, you don’t need to do this. Ican do it by myself.” The shorter boy begins to pour water on the towel andrubbed a bit of the soap on the wet surface. “Kageyama-“

“Just please let medo this for you.” Shigeo near shouted. The telepath was caught by surprise andstared at the esper before him.  Theshorter boy’s eyes were covered by his bangs. His pale hands were fisted,shaking against his knees. “I-I know you heard me. That day.” He said in asmall voice. Takenaka’s eyes widened. “And you were just acting so distant, Ididn’t know what to do and you made it very clear that I- that you don’t-”Shigeo’s voice cracked, unable to finish the sentence. The shorter boy wasshaking now. Grass around them was starting to wilt.

 “Oi, Kageyama, youhave it all wrong.” The tree he had been leaning on shriveled up. “I was just-I thought you didn’t want me to hear that so I pretended I didn’t! That’s all.”The clearing was starting to look like a wasteland. It wasn’t working. “Kageyama!”He wasn’t going to reach him like this. Takenaka pressed their foreheadstogether and tried to get a telepathic message across. Shigeo.The psychic’s eyes snapped open, tears streaming down hisface. He locked eyes with Takenaka. I likeyou. A lot. I just- I wanted you to tell me how you felt when you were preparedto. And I guess, I was just trying to avoid my own…feelings…The telepathflushed slightly at that. He’s not one to talk openly about how he feels either. and..ended up kind of avoiding you too. I thoughtI was protecting our friendship but really, I was just protecting myself. But Ireally, do like you.

 Shigeo’s eyes shined,a light pink tinting his cheeks. The plants around them began to re-grow.

 Well, that was a really shitty confession speech. Takenaka mused. Shigeo chuckled.  He didn’t realize that he was still talkingtelepathically with the other.

 I like it just fine. Shigeo smiles sweetly. But- Did you really like me all this time?

 Takenaka took a palehand in his and lightly kissed it. He smiled at Shigeo sheepishly.

 Always.

_____________________________________

I hope this was to your liking anon. I had fun writing it. I am so sorry that I used your prompt to insert the headcanon that Takenaka learned to like a lot of books because it helps him sleep better at night. Since he seems to be coping better through books, his parents decide to get him the whole set of Harry Potter books when he was 9 and he’s loved the series ever since. Send more prompts if ya can!