#finally posting my views on the internet is terrifying

[lucihens]

Hi. I just want to somehow make catharsis about the whole Chenford break up going on and listen other takes on it.

Maybe Im just a girl going through Mercury Retrograde being delulu not wanting to aknowledge they are over. Having said that:

I just know this is not the end for them. But not for plot reasons that we are all speculating. I mean sure for plot reasons is necesary for Tim to get his shit together before taking the next step with Lucy (Eric said in his interview that Tim loves her and its seen in the lie detector scene and all the Tamara moving out storyline that has been going since last season they are sure heading to moving together). Also sure Lucy has suffered many things and is interesting to see her next steps.

But I just know this is for marketing reasons. They need the show to be renewed for another season and a massive cliffhanger like this one when there's a 3 weeks break between episodes where they know people will be engaged on it is a good way on getting that renewal.

They know people still watching the show because Chenford. They have stated they are endgame. But they are producers and writers and plan things ahead in order to keep the show going. Is just trust the process and the fact that they work on this and know what they are doing. I have seen many shows (most of them from ABC) to know they give the fans what they want bc in the end is a product that is sold and know that not doing something your target audience wants equals not product to be sold.

Also, even though Melissa and Eric had said that there are some things coming on Tim and Lucy on the season finale and blah blah blah. They are putting a lot of effort on the breakup promotionally speaking. The interviews released the second the episode finished, the TikToks from Melissa, the whole ice cream promo with letters to the cast about the breakup and they laughing and making jokes (also like the ig account still saying Chenford stan account) is more clear is about making the people engaged and furthermore, making the network renew the show for season 7. They are actors and know they must keep a good relationship with their fans (I mean if you make something that upset your fans then how would you keep getting called to act if you dont have people watching them for you and other actors can), what Im saying Is they are laughing and all of this because they know how it ends and know they end in a place where fans will love it, if not they are basically bullyng us lol.

So long story short: just keeping my peace of mind knowing it is just marketing. By the interviews we know somehow the season finale lets them in a good place, so if season 7 comes maybe we got time to see them making up with more time and development (things this season had been rushed bc the strike, not only here but in most shows) and if there's not season 7 it will end up with Chenford with a sort of an open finale where all points to them giving it another chance in their inmidate future.

Hope i made myself clear. Just wanted to vent haha. And lets chill and cross fingers for season 7 and an Oscar for Melissa and Eric because that break up was so CHEFF KISS like girlll I have felt that pain too.

hello dear anon! thank you for being my very first ask!

i hope you won't regret venting to me because this response ended up....well...extensive. i have many many things to say and a lack of adhd medication to contain them.

i would also like to note that i'm not at all experienced with writing think pieces on the internet. but even though i haven't written an essay since college, i can sure yap. and even though i'm a genius /s, this may not make sense to anyone. so here's what my chronic fatigue and i were able to conjure up:

yes, tv shows are primarily for an audience, whether writers and directors do accept that or not, that's what i'm guessing producers have in mind. tv is literally built 'for your viewing pleasure', and with this show in the past, and by past i mean season 5 especially (and the shock and surprise of 4x22), they (whoever they is) have been manically hitting that red button titled 'DO THE THING THEY WANT' just so they can say they did it and you as an audience can't complain. so yes in my experience, shows very often, if not always, write for an audience, otherwise the creators would just be giggling at themselves in their own private screening room at their custom, personalised tv show made only for them. when you give a show to the masses, it is, in certain ways, their's now. so going against everything an audience wants is certainly an interesting move, and since i have a common disease called 'being absolutely befuddled by the varying degrees of human nature' i don't know particularly what their aim is, what they're hoping this will provide an audience, as well as the show as a whole. what i do know however, is that there is not just one kind of audience, within the watchers of the rookie, there is obviously an abundance of angst lovers, an array of fluff lovers, complex think piece people, and apathetic 'this is what i fill the void of a tuesday night with' people (which is potentially what makes up a good portion of the viewers (?), not just the dedicated fandom we see on social media). with this in mind, the creators, the writers, are evidently incapable of satisfying every single diverse/contradictory demographic. so it's unclear which demographic they want to make happy at a given storyline. is this to give the angst lovers what they want? is this to give the comfortable fluff lovers a kick in the rear? or is this just to keep the average viewer interested in this ever-appealing show? i can't speak for them at all so i couldn't say which, but i also haven't a scooby doo. maybe others could give their opinion on which of these they think the creators are aiming for, because i couldnt tell you. then again, maybe it's all of them. maybe we let the rest of the season play out to completion, and we may know for sure. but marketing a show goes hand in hand with keeping the general audience as well as potential new viewers: 1. happy and excited, 2. interested in investing their time into the show. and given that season 6 is a short season: yes, i'm sure the marketing the break up is one of their best bets at keeping ratings up and viewers in, whether it comes directly from outrage or intrigue. and given how some other storylines seem to fall kind of flat (wink wink nol–), especially compared to last season, the initial lucy storylines and the now tim storylines are what is keeping up the hype for such a small season. and i'm sure (hoping) the other characters will have something to add to the s6 plate to further the impact of such a small season and the plots within. but for the most part 'chenford' is such an electric word. drop it in anywhere and the millions(?) who have ever laid eyes on the show just got a shock. and they know that, so of course they'll use it to their advantage in anyway they can.

and with this rambling: one thing i'm sure of, the only thing i'm sure of, is that yes: THEY LOVE EACH OTHER. and not just a slight admiration or a tinge of care. actual undying love. incomprehensible love. i don't know a lot about this topic but i definitely love to aggrandise the concept of love, and especially unto something harmless like fictional characters. in the real world, loving someone isn't always enough for sure. but not loving someone at all can also having no bearing in the upkeep of a relationship (i know this from personal experience). so whether or not two people end up together in real life, has no distinguished rule of 'do this and feel that and you'll be together forever'.

but this is fiction! WE make this stuff up. so we can do whatever we want! we can link A to B and say these characters love each other so they must end up together, and still be flawed along the way, because they are not real. so in my opinion the various ideas like "real relationships have people breaking up", "real relationships have people never getting back together", "real relationships have people never breaking up", and to follow, the incessant "real relationships have good communication!" don't matter anyway because ideas based reality have absolutely no impact in this fictional realm. yes bring in realism, be realistic if you want, but don't let reality dictate your fiction entirely (as well as the inverse). nor should you let reality make you want your fiction to be completely unreal. both fiction and reality have complexity in personality and characterisation. people have personalities and characters have characterisation. the one commonality is imperfection. but just because they are similar doesn't mean they have to be the same. it doesn't mean chenford are realistically doomed. and with this the plot that may unfold could be one unexpected, one unreal, or one completely real. tim and lucy could work through their own storylines, flaws and complexities separately and i'd be glad to see it.

i had a lot of issues with how fan service esque the initial 'canonisation' felt and maybe this is not just to market their show, but to finally listen to the majority of the audience, the particular audience that literally helps them market the show. aka the social media citizens. the ones who talk up a storm about what they love about the show and literally rope others into watching it. maybe they'll finally write them with more specific intentions this time, maybe this is what this is for. not just for drama but to give us what we wanted to watch in the first place but heavily missed out on: pining, feelings, dramatic reconciliation. who knows. we won't. not until the season is over and s7 inevitably comes (it's guaranteed).

i know many become angry with this show about what it does and doesn't do but one thing that helps me survive is this: it doesn't matter, the episodes exist anyway. they will continue to exist even if they don't have what we want. all we can do is feel every feeling this show evokes because that's really what it is to be entertained, at least for me. we're not the creators at the end of the day, no matter how much we've created. if something happens we don't like, we don't like it and we talk about how we don't like it. if we do like it, we talk about how we like it. and we praise the actors anyway, for the characters they bless us with. and the creatives, who gave us the masterpiece that is season 2.

and with that, i conclude. this definitely got away from me like the runaway train in my adhd brain. i wrote this sleepy and fatigued and i think i might be brain dead so if there are contradictions or things that make not a bit of sense feel free to call me out on it! especially those who are more experienced yappers, i'd definitely like to know what you disagree with or think has no place in this piece.

anyway, fin. thank you anon and TLDR; chenford will be fine and the show will always favour exploiting the most loved characters for marketing but with every PR box of ice cream sent and every article written brings in one more viewer to our beloved show and at least we'd stand a chance of a season 10.

[alonetimelover]

pairing: harry styles x polish!reader (fem, she/her)

summary: harry plays a show where one of the most important people in his life attends - his fiancée's granny.

submitted by @otaktomotyl, thank you and i hope you'll enjoy reading it as much as i did writing it!

a/n: i found polish translations on the internet, i hope they're okay.

masterlist ask, comment, come say hi!

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harryupdates

liked by harrysmoustache, harryshoee and 37 201 others

harryupdates HARRY landed in Warsaw. I repeat, HARRY landed in Warsaw.

view all 3 013 comments

harrysmoustache and he's holding yn's hat???

harryshoee yn and harry can finally reunite... 🥹

harrysfan92 do you see his arms???? he looks like a Greek god, god damn

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harrysmoustache

liked by harryupdates, stylesbabie and 12 301 others

harrysmoustache HAARY AT YN'S COUSIN WEDDING!!!!

view all 2 492 comments

harryupdates you're so fast with those updates, lyla. im gonna lose my job...

stylesbabie yn be aware, he looks good enough to be THE groom. keep him close

⤷ harryslipstick i think that ring on her finger is saying more than anything

harrysmybestie guys, you know we are so close to see HIM at HIS OWN wedding...

⤷ harrysmylife don't

⤷ harrysmoustache why would you say that?!

⤷ outofstyles am i the only one awaiting that day impatiently??? i wanna see him being all nervous and loving and all of the emotions that people feel at the weddings

stylesislife only harry styles could come to my wedding wearing a tanktop that he also wears to his shows

⤷ hArrysbtch the only man i could forgive AND compliment on looking so fucking good

stylesbabie yn's cousin posted a photo from the ceremony, and you can see yn and harry being all snuggle and touchy 😭😭😭 i love them so much

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"What do you mean you're not coming up on stage? Harry, my love, what changed during the last two hours?" YN asked into her phone, anxious Harry being on the other side, soundly biting his nails. "And stop biting your nails, you've got a very nice colour on them."

"Is babcia (granny) here?"

"Mum texted they're close to the gate. Jeff, was kind enough to go there and pick them up so they wouldn't get in any trouble."

"Good, good, good. can- can you come backstage? I think I'd like some ted talk before the show," he said quietly, smile growing on his face. "And some kisses, too."

"Give me 10 minutes, I'll find that kind guard and ask him to guide me. I can't remember when to turn right."

"I'll wait for you. I love you."

"I love you."

Harry got up from the couch and started pacing from one wall to the other. His hands were trembling, getting sweaty. He couldn't remember when was the last time he felt this nervous before start of the show. Not wembley or Slane Castle were as nerve wrecking as Warsaw. He knew it perfectly that it wasn't because of the city or the country. Well, it partially was.

It was YN's home show. But also her whole family was just outside the gates or already walking down the hallways to get to their seats (VIP of course, besides YN's younger cousins that wanted the front row, barricade experiance). And probably the most important guests for Harry - YN's grandparents, especially her granny. A sweet 92-year-old lady that started learning english and using an iPhone to be able to talk and contact Harry. A lady who bought his heart with sweet butter biscuits that no one could replicate. A lady that listened and then learned his whole three albums for this day - the day she would finally see him play live.

So he was terrified to disappoint her.

"What if i mess up the lyrics?" he asked YN when she finally came to the greenroom, he had been pacing in.

"Then she will sing it to you."

"But what if she won't like hearing me live? I mean, it's- it's a possibility. What? Why are you giggling. I'm really stressed here, my darling."

"I'm so sorry." She kissed the crown of his head. "It's just that you're afraid of impossibility. There is no way she would laugh at you or be disappointed in you." YN stroke his hair, gently massaging it, bringing Harry peace.

"You sure?"

"I've never been more sure in my life."

"She'll like it." Harry reassured himself aloud.

"Yes, she will. Not only she loves you like her own grandchild, she's also nervous. This morning she facetimed me to help her pick up an outfit. She bought quite a few things after she saw some pictures of your fans on the internet." She laughed, finding it quite adorable.

"Did she?" Harry lifted his head from yn's lap. "Oh, bless her."

They spent the next few minutes in silence, letting Harry's heart to calm down and steady its pace.

"Wait, did you say that you've never been more sure about something in your life?" Harry eventually broke the silence.

"Yes?"

"So, you had doubts when I asked you to marry me?"

"Oh god."

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harryloveontour

liked by harryupdates, stylesmaaan and 21 491 others

harryloveontour first look at harry at tonight's show in warsaw! it wasn't even the first minute, and he was already seen sending kisses towards yn!

view all 6 023 comments

harrysmylife and it was not only for yn!!! her whole family is with her. even her grandparents.

⤷ stylesbabie omg, they must love him soooo so much

ynandhmyparents they are the sweetest couple i've ever seen, like ever

harrysmoustache is anybody live??? i need to experience this show, i have tissues ready

⤷ hArrysbtch hslotwarsaw is live and it's in such a good quality

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hslotwarsaw

liked by harryupdates, hArrysbtch and 21 291 others

hslotwarsaw this is harry's reaction to seeing yn dancing with one of the fans during adore you!!!

view all 3 491 comments

harryupdates omg, his reaction was priceless!!!!

hArrysbtch the way this man said "back off, my friend. she is taken. ring and all. no, no, no." he wa ready to jump from that stage to stop that man from hugging yn!

⤷ stylesbabie i mean, did that guy asked yn if that was okay?

⤷ lovingharry he did, you could see it on the videos that people already posted

harrysmoustache he's like "excuse me, man. that is my fiancée. MY fiancée."

harrysmylife oh, this concert just started and i know it's gonna be the best of all times

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lately you've been on my mind

honey, ah ah ah

The whole stadium was singing back to him. He could describe the feeling it awoke in him each time. It was similar but never the same. Especially today, everything seemed to touch him deeper, better, and clearer.

"Someone's stealing your girl, Styles"

Harry heard someone in his earpiece, making him stop singing. He played it cool by putting the mic towards the audience simultaneously looking for YN.

It didn't take him long. She was right where she promised to be. The space designed specifically for her family, not enclosed but clearly separated from the main audience. There she was dancing and laughing with some middle-aged guy.

Harry was a jealous person in nature. In particular when it came to his partners. He wasn't proud of it, and he definitely didn't have any way to believe that YN would sprint after every Tom, Dick and Harry. Every day she showed him how in love she was, there could be no way.

But here he was. Jaw clenched, not singing and glaring towards his fiancée.

"Harry, everything alright?" Again the voice in his earpiece.

YN stopped dancing, feeling that unmistakable eyes almost glued to her. Oh, it didn't look good.

"How you doin' Warsaw?!" Harry finally screamed into the microphone. The squeals, screems and whistles gave him all he wanted - distraction.

And when YN smiled at him so lovingly and sweetly, it was enough to carry him till this moment.

"Your sign says 'help me shoot my shot'. Is this person with you?" Harry asked the fan who was holding the very neat and colourful sign. Somehow he didn't recognise him from just a minutes ago.

"She's here."

"Wow! Your voice is so loud, man. But how do you want me to help you when she's here. She's next to you somewhere?"

And then if it would have been possible, Harry's jaw would touch the floor. That guy shamelessly pointed towards YN. Now he remembered.

People screamed so loudly, because everything was shown on the biggest screen behind the stage.

"Well, back off, my friend. She is taken. Ring and all. No, no, no." Harry tried to play it cool by laughing at the end. "And, as far as I'm concerned, we're not lookin' for the third one in the relationship."

Now the stadium was laughing along with the long 'ouuuu'.

"How did you know you'd be close to YN, anyway?"

"Manifesting."

"Manifesting?" Harry repeated so everyone could know the answer. "Well, you're doing it right, so I suggest betting or playing lottery. And, to be honest most importantly," he pressed. "Not stealing someone else's future wife!"

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harryupdates

liked by hArrysbtch, harrysmoustache and 34 201 others

harryupdates harry introducing yn's grandmother at tonight's show.

view all 7 201 comments

hArrysbtch she is the sweetest lady, my god. i love her even though i don't know her 🥹

harrysmoustache "this show is very special to me. here are my future parents in law as well as grandparents. hello, hi!" i still can't comprehend harry being engaged...

harrysmylife "granny, how are you doing? do you need anything? no? you're good? excellent! that's what I wanted to hear. please give it up for granny!" and the way he started clapping both of his hands and the whistling???? and then speaking in polish i think???

⤷ polisharry Yes! He said 'dziękuję, babcia że tu jesteś' which means 'thank you granny for being here

harryfan82 this show is sooo good

outofstyles did anybody see harry constantly looking towards that area, where yn's whole family is?

⤷ harrysmoustache absolutely! i can't imagine how nervous he is, considering it's the first (at least that we know of) time he sings in front of them

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hArrysbtch

liked by harryupdates, harrysmylife and 33 101 others

hArrysbtch HE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO PLAY MEDICINE BUT THE BAND STARTED IT WITHOUT HIS KNOWLEDGE. I CANT. HES REACTION IS PRICELESS. HES TERRIFIED.

view all 8 101 comments

harryupdates he didn't even started it on cue, thank god the audience was so pumped up for it and sang it!

harrysmoustache "no no no no no. we weren't supposed to play it. sarah!" the fear and confusion in his voice was everything. they got him good.

outofstyles "you're gonna pay for it. all of you." this is so funny

stylesbabie the funniest thing is how when he started singing it, he was all touchy and sexy. it was like he forgot about the problem in the moment...

godstyles "granny's terrified" HARRY YOU DIDN'T PUT THE MICROPHONE DOWN, MAN

⤷ harrysmoustache but they showed granny being all smiley during medicine. i think she enjoyed it just like any other song!

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harryupdates

liked by hArrysbtch, stylesbabie and 41 202 others

harryupdates harry smiling while talking to yn's little cousin (yn was translating everything to her and then to harry). she then opened as it was with "harry, I wanna say goodnight to you"

view all 3 201 comments

hArrysbtch i hate kids but that baby was so cute i wish i could squish her cheeks

harrysmoustache he was all smiles and gentle eyes while talking to her, he loves this family so much

styleslove i love when people are so open with their feelings for their partner's family

harrysfan081 so cute

stylesbabie give this man a child already

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hslotwarsaw

liked by harryupdates, stylesmylove and 61 201 others

hslotwarsaw harry after splashing water at yn and her family at the end of the show!

and with this photo, we're ending our 'photo-stream'. thank you all for helping us prepare all of the fan projects and thank you for welcoming harry so warmly in our country! till the next time!

view all 8 20q comments

harryupdates you did amazing job!

hArrysbtch yn's granny got so happy at the moment harry decided to threaten her with a bottle

stylesbabie granny had a water gun and threatened harry back with it!!!!! it was soo cute, he run away laughing

harrysfan88 best show so far

harrysmylife "this one of the loudest show i can remember. and i know why. my fiancée's whole family is here. and believe me, they can make so much noise it's impressive!" my friend stood next ro them and confirmed, they were so loud during the whole set list!!

harryshands i can't imagine better way for harry to cope with this amount of pressure. he delivered one of the best performances in his life - sound and entertain wise. truly amazing

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"Harry, my sweet boy."

Harry turned 180° from the conversation he was having with Jeff to see the face of the lady with the heavy accent he knew so well.

"Babcia! (granny)" he exclaimed, jogging towards her and ambracing in a tight hug. "How I've missed you."

"You saw me yesterday, you."

"I know." He pulled away, still having his arm around granny. "But it's already been almost 24 hours. A long time, don't you think?"

Granny shook her head with a smile and placed her head on Harry's chest. She was rather exhausted from all the lights, noise, dancing and standing up for almost three hours.

"You wanna sit down, granny?" YN asked, squeezing her grandmothers arm in a way showing her she was nearby.

"Oh, yes. My legs aren't 20 years old as much as I would like them to be."

The three of them sat down on the green couch and talked about the show. Granny was impressed with all the fans having the time of their life, but specifically the ones that seemed to take in the show on their own terms.

"There were those two girls just hugging the whole time and singing softly all the songs. It was so lovely," granny explained.

"It's funny how they were two of very little to not use their phone during the show," commented someone in the room.

And before harry got the chance to defend people taking photos and recording, granny sat up straight.

"Well, in the 60s, my father took me to see The Beetles and I wish i had a camera then. It was such a magical moment that I would want it to be not only engraved in my mind but also on paper. I took so many photos of you, Harry. I need you to print them so I can show them to my friends on the next bingo evening."

YN nodded her head with a smile, not only planning to print the photos but putting the whole concert that harry recorded on the CD. Granny loved watching that type of thing on her telly.

"Harry," granny spoke up after a few moments. "I do have a question however."

"Ask away, granny."

"That song, medicine. What is it about?"

[strawberrymilkgeorge]

Part Twenty Two. Big Tweets and Bigger Questions.

warnings: cursing, p*ter, doxxing threats :/, word count: 5.2k (not including pictures)

behind the screen (irl!dream x f!reader) series masterlist main masterlist

note: UHHH rememberit's been so long i'm so so sorry this took ages i hope it's worth it T-T this is the LAST CHAPTER !!! maybe maybe I'll do extras later but don't count on it bc we know how long THIS took. thank you guys for loving bugsy :(( and for being patient omg ENNJOYYYYYYYY

PREVIOUS

It was basically her worst nightmare. Y/n’s ex-boyfriend tended to find things out on his own so in hindsight, maybe she should have expected him to find out about her online career too. There was a reason she never told him or anyone in her real-life about what she did on the Internet. This exact reason. 

“Hey, there you are. I thought you wanted to swim with everyone?” 

Y/n heard Dream’s voice but couldn’t process his words, her eyes still staring at the unanswered texts she had received from her ex-boyfriend over the last few days. 

“Bug?” 

She blinked, looking up as she breathed deeply. “Did you say something?” 

Dream frowned. “Are you okay?” 

She just stared at him, brows furrowed softly and mouth open like she wanted to speak but couldn’t find the words. He stopped drying his hair with the towel and made his way towards her, crouching in front of her and looking up at her intently, his hands resting on her knees. “What happened?” 

“Um…” 

Dream’s eyes darted to the phone in her hands then back to her face, clearly seeing her distress and worry in the way her eyebrows pinched together and breathing was uneven. 

“Y/n.”

“Have you ever had… well, okay, I know you have but like, so, okay–” she cut herself off with a huff when she noticed herself rambling and took a deep breath before continuing. The front door opened and she realized they were out where anyone could hear their conversation.

“Come here,” he mumbled, standing up and leading her outside to the back porch, opposite the house from the lake where most of their friends were playing. “What happened?” 

Y/n took a breath and leaned against the railing, looking out at the view to avoid having to see his reaction. “I know people have threatened to dox you on Twitter and stuff like that all the time but have any of them been real threats? Like, I’m sure they’re all terrifying no matter what but I mean has anyone you know in real life ever threatened to expose you? Or have they all been internet trolls?” 

When he didn’t respond, Y/n snuck a glance at him and was met with a deep frown, something close to panic in his eyes. “No, they’ve all been people who just want to get clout. What happened? Did that happen to you? Who is it?” 

Y/n pulled out her phone and handed it to him, the screen open to Peter’s texts. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Dream seethed under his breath before handing her phone back quickly. 

“There’s plenty more of him begging for me back but the doxxing is a new threat.” 

“You picked a really… tame name for his contact.” 

“I only kept his number in case something like this happened.” 

They both stood silently looking out into the backyard for a few moments. “Why is he only just now threatening you? Hasn’t he been trying to get you back for months?” 

“Basically,” she sighed. “But I never told him about being Bugsy. He was never super into Twitch or YouTube or anything so it was easy to hide and I guess… in the back of my mind I always kinda assumed something like this would happen if he knew. Like we would break up and he’d take out his anger by trying to tell the world who I was before I was ready. So, I never told him. I guess he finally found out.”

“Fuck,” Dream whispered. “He has no credentials though, right? Like he’d probably have to make a Twitter account just to expose you and people would see he’s new and think it’s a burner account and no one would believe him… right?” 

“Maybe, but what happens when I do post a face reveal and everyone sees he was telling the truth? They’d trust any insider information he has about me, which would all be complete bullshit lies.” 

The frown never left Dream’s face, and he looked broken at Y/n’s predicament. She had seen him less bothered about his own threats before than he was about this. 

“So, what are you going to do?” 

“Beat him to it, I guess,” she decided. His face turned into one of surprise as she continued. “If he ever posts about me later on I can clarify that he’s an asshole ex so no one should listen to him, but at least he won’t have taken away my face reveal. I should get to decide how to do it. He’s already taken enough from me, he’s not taking away this too.” 

“Can I please hug you?” Dream whispered quickly. “You can say no, but I really want to give you a hug.”

Y/n smiled and nodded, but didn’t move away from the handrail. Dream came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her as he pressed his chest to her back, resting his chin on her shoulder. When he kissed her shoulder softly, she rested her head against his and placed her hands on his arms as a sign that it was okay.

“I’m really sorry, Bug. I’m sorry he’s taken so much from you.”

“It’s okay,” she whispered sadly. “It will be.”

“Wanna face reveal together?” he asked half-jokingly, making her laugh. 

“You want to get outshined?” 

He chuckled and kissed her ear. “I wouldn’t mind if it was by you.” 

“Cheesy.” 

“You know I’m by your side, right? Whatever you do, I’ll help you and stick with you. I’ll even help pick out a cute picture to be your reveal if you’re just going to post it on Instagram or something.” 

Y/n smiled and turned around in his embrace, back against the railing as she looked up at him. “You know you’re kinda stuck with me, right?” she countered. “I was already going to make you help me pick a picture.” 

Dream smiled like he won the lottery, and somehow this conversation went from dreadful to exciting. Strange that that tended to be the case when Dream was involved; he somehow made everything a little more bearable. “I’m honored. But you look hot in every picture I’ve ever seen of you, so it’s going to be tough deciding on just one.” 

“I can’t stand you.”

“Would you be able to stand me if I kissed you right now?” 

“I love how this started as you about to cry because my ex-boyfriend wants to tell the world my name and face and it’s ending with you wanting to kiss me.”

“...Is that a no?” 

“No, kiss me.” 

He smiled and leaned down, placing his lips against hers gently, sweetly, for the briefest moment, before standing back up and cupping her face with one hand. 

“The sooner I post, the better, right? Since he could probably do it any time?” 

Dream stared at her lips while she talked but nodded. “Yeah, we probably should go do that now.”

Y/n nodded and leaned up to give him one more small kiss before dragging him back inside. “We’ll choose tonight and I’ll post it tomorrow morning. I don’t want to rush.”

“I did it,” Y/n whispered, opening Dream’s bedroom door and stepping inside quickly. He looked up from his book. “I couldn’t wait. Oh, god, I did it.” She posted her face reveal sooner than intended, hoping less of the world would be awake to see it, but as she refreshed her tweet, the numbers raced higher and higher. “Oh, god. What if that was a mistake?” 

“It wasn’t,” Dream reassured quickly, opening his arms and welcoming her to sit with him, which she did immediately, both of them leaning against the headboard. 

“Reply to my tweet so I don’t look like a loser,” she begged, making Dream laugh but comply. She buried her face in his shoulder and watched him reply to her tweet as if he wasn’t sitting right next to her. He set his phone on the nightstand and she followed, turning off the phone and burying her face in her hands. 

“Hey, it was a good thing. Now, what’s-his-name can’t hold it over you. You’re one step closer to being free from him.” 

“I feel like I’m never going to be free from him,” she admitted, her words muffled by her hands but Dream understood her clear as day. 

“I know. I know how that feels, Bug, I really do. But I promise it gets better.” 

She looked up at him and nodded. “I trust you. Part of me is so relieved that it’s over with but… I feel like shit knowing part of it was done because of him. I have wanted to face reveal for a while but he’s the reason I chose now. I hate it.” 

“Hey, you did it because you wanted to. He just helped you pick a time.” 

She sighed, frustrated and sad. Dream turned to her, crossing his legs so he could face her as he placed a hand on her knee. “You’re allowed to be mad at him, obviously. You were kinda forced to do it now, but why not focus on the positives of this situation? Don’t let him take up any more of your mind. Plus, you told everyone how someone threatened to doxx you, so if he starts trying to tell bullshit stories to make you look bad, once they know it’s him they’ll know he’s an asshole liar and won’t listen to him. It’ll all be okay.” 

She nodded. “You’re right.” Dream waited to see if she was still panicking while she was lost in her thoughts. “Do you think people are responding well?”

He smiled. “Of course. They got to see how hot you are.”

“Shut up, simp.” 

One thing she loved about Dream was that he was clearly whipped for her, and he wasn’t afraid to admit it. Every time she called him out for liking her, it only encouraged his behavior more and she would notice him staring at her more intently, more lovingly. 

It made it hard to not want to kiss him all the time. 

“Thank you,” she said softly into the night air, shoulder pressing into Dream’s as they sat side by side. 

He turned to look at her. “For what?” 

“Being there for me. You’re kinda cool.”

He laughed through his nose. “Has anyone ever told you you can be kinda emotionally constipated sometimes?” 

She laughed and nodded. “Occasionally.” 

“Unluckily for you, I’m not, and I feel like being sappy right now because I’m so proud of you.” 

“Oh, please don’t–” 

“You are very kind and seem to always know how to brighten people’s moods without even realizing it. You make me smile when you talk to me about literally anything. Like, the other day you asked me what kind of pizza I wanted and I swear my heart skipped four damn beats.” 

“Why are you being like this out of nowhere?” Y/n laughed but he wasn’t done.

“Get used to it. You are so sweet and every time I think I’m used to it, you go and do something even sweeter. Like you bought all those stupid little, oh what are they called? The things you flip and they pop up?” 

“Poppers? That’s what I’ve always called them.”

“Yeah! You bought a bunch of poppers even though they annoy the shit out of you just because you thought Tubbo might like them.” 

“I should have known Karl and Alex would steal them and try to scare me with them.” 

“It’s random things like that that just… you’re incredible. Really. Everything you do is so selfless and you’re also so funny and crazy smart and I swear on my life as much as it pisses me off when you beat me in Geoguessr, it’s also insanely hot.” 

Y/n laughed loudly at the abrupt compliment, hiding her face behind her sleeve. “Okay–”

"I like that you know who you are and aren't afraid of it. You're confident in the most humble way and it's really endearing. You always seem so sure of yourself and know what you want from life and you get it. You work so hard and you don't get nearly as much recognition as I think you should—"

"Biased."

"—but you still treat everything like you have more than you could ask for even though you deserve so much more. You're such a genuine person and I think that's in part because, like I said, you know who you are. You're not afraid to speak your mind because your mind is brilliant."

Y/n smiled and looked back at Dream, whose eyes softened at her face.

"I also like how you make me feel when you look at me like that."

His speech seemed to end so she smiled, softly whispering a thank you. She leaned forward and gave him a small kiss, which he chased after with a frown when she pulled away. 

“What was that for?” he asked, a huge smile that she loved to be the cause of.

"You didn't say anything about my looks."

Dream's face dropped. "Wait, Bug, you're also very, very, very, beautiful. And I promise I'm not saying that just because—"

"Clay," she interrupted. "It's a good thing."

He paused. "It is?" His fingers twitched and she reached out to grab his hand, his large hands immediately wrapping around hers like she was water in a desert. 

"My ex, um," she cleared her throat as she started her explanation, "you know how I said he always told me he was the only person who could ever like me, or whatever? Well, more specifically, he always told me the only thing I had going for me was my looks."

"Bug..."

"So, I guess it's ironic and relieving in a way that you, um, that of all the things you said you like about me, that being pretty wasn't on there."

"Because there's so much more to you," he promised.

"I think I know that now."

"So... would you like me to not comment on your looks anymore because of what that jackass said?"

Y/n shook her head. "No, no, I actually really like it when you call me pretty." Her face heated up at her own words and Dream smiled.

He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her nose before resting their foreheads together. "Now tell me all the things you like about me?"

Y/n smiled at his joke but obliged, knowing he wasn't expecting a real answer. "You're so gracious and supportive to all your friends and you're very charming and funny, and you always check on everyone and—"

"Okay!" Dream leaned back and laughed. "I was just joking! Don't actually tell me. Not now, at least."

"Good, it was starting to get too mushy, that was embarrassing.” 

"Agreed. Tell me things you like about me but make it memes."

Y/n laughed. "I like that you're sooo good at Minecraft and that you're someone who's actually taller than me. You're one in 7.5 trillion, baby."

Dream laughed loudly but Y/n noticed the pink dusting his cheeks. "I like that you're tall too."

He shifted to lay down, his head laying next to her leg as he looked up at her. “Wanna sleep in here?” 

She frowned but laid down next to him. “I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep. I’m too anxious thinking about how people are responding  to my tweet.” 

Dream smiled mischievously. “I can think of a few other things we could do.” 

“You have a dirty mind.” 

His face contorted in confusion then turned to one of fake disgust. “Oh, ew! Bug, that’s not at all what I was implying! Ewww, you’re the gross one! I was going to suggest we talk about our favorite things in space.” 

She laughed loudly. “Yeah, sure. I think Jupiter is pretty cool.”

“I’m lying, can I kiss you?” he deadpanned. “I’m too tired to talk and you’re pretty.” 

“I can’t believe you only like me for my looks…” Y/n joked, but Dream’s face fell. “Too soon to joke about?” 

“Yes. It makes me want to punch a wall.” 

“How are you going to do that if you’re too busy kissing me?” 

Dream smiled and sat up halfway, resting on his elbow and leaning down to kiss Y/n. “You’re dumb,” he said pulling away for a moment. 

She chuckled. “Yeah, I know.”

“There she is!” Karl giggled as Y/n entered the kitchen, covering a yawn as she grabbed a mug and Dream’s box of tea. Maybe she had a thing for it now. Sue her. 

“Looking for me?” 

“Yes. Where have you been, young lady?” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“You were not in your room last night,” Karl accused pointedly. 

“Sure I was,” Y/n countered lazily. “Where else would I have been?” 

“With Dream.” 

She looked at him quickly and frowned. “Uh, no. Weirdo.” 

“You sure? After all the looks you two give each other and all the giggling and secrets and–” 

“Stop,” she hissed quietly, a giggle behind her words that she couldn’t suppress no matter how hard she tried. She jumped on the island counter as George walked in, heading straight for the kettle. 

“Are you making tea already?” he asked. 

“Yeah, there’s enough water in there if you want some too.”

“Epic,” he yawned, slumping against the counter as he grabbed a bagel and cream cheese. George, bless him, was blissfully unaware of the teasing going on behind his back and looked way too tired to care. At the silence in the room, he looked over his shoulder just as Y/n mouthed at Karl to shut up, who was hiding giggles behind a sweater paw. “What’s happening?” 

Y/n blurted, “Nothing!” at the same time Karl answered with a question. “George, guess where our sweet Bugsy slept last night?” 

Y/n groaned and covered her face in her hands. “Karl, shut up.”

George took a large bite of his breakfast and his words struggled to get past the pastry. “I’m guessing… not your room?” 

Karl giggled maniacally as an answer. 

"How do you even know?" Y/n asked as she dropped her hands to her lap and looked at her best friend. Her eyes darted to the living room adjacent to the kitchen, where Sapnap and Quackity were messing around. George was the only European awake but that's because his sleep schedule was already completely messed up. The others were getting used to the jet lag still.

“Well, I barged in to tackle you for randomly face revealing – congratulations, by the way, I’m so proud of you–” 

“Oh, yeah, good job,” George butted in. 

Karl continued without missing a beat. “–but I waited for you to come back because I figured you were having a deep conversation with Dream and didn’t want to interrupt. But it took so long and I was so tired so I went to bed.”

“So? Maybe I went back to my room right after you went to bed?” 

"Naomi texted me asking where you were at, like, four," Karl deadpanned. "I saw it this morning. She must've woken up in the middle of the night to you still not there."

Y/n felt her cheeks flame up as she thought about what she was doing at four a.m. Completely innocent things! With... a certain........ boy.........

"So you're gonna use Naomi's sleepy mind to recall where I was? You know how she is when she just wakes up. It's like she's drunk."

Y/n caught the way George's lips turned up at that and made a mental note to tease him for it later. Right now, she had her own tracks to cover.

“Where is she, by the way?” you asked.

“In your room doing her makeup,” Karl answered. “Which you would know if you woke up there! You've basically admitted that you weren't in your room, so just tell us where you were," Karl bargained. "Did you pull an all-nighter with someone? Go skinny dipping? Sleep in the arms of a handsome–"

Karl didn't finish because he got slapped in the arm, making him laugh. Y/n couldn't help but glance at the living room again as if Sapnap and Quackity would suddenly hear the teasing over their own loud noise and join the interrogation party. She couldn’t handle 4/5 teasing her at once. Maybe she was just worried the overall chaos would wake up Dream and he would walk in mid-conversation.

"So you were with a boy?" George laughed, suddenly more awake. "Karl, I wonder who it could have possibly been! I can't think of a single person Y/n might be interested in." Sarcasm was thick in his voice as he beamed at Y/n, suddenly waking up since George loved to gossip.

Y/n's face scrunched with the use of her name and George's face softened in apology. She still wasn't used to all her friends knowing her name and face.

"Maybe we should ask–"

Karl's words were cut off again, this time by the appearance of the man who he was about to mention.

Y/n's face caught fire again as she watched Dream look around the living in confusion, one hand stuck in his unruly hair and one in the pocket of his hoodie. His squinted eyes scanned the living room, then wandered to the kitchen where he finally met Y/n's eyes. His confused look softened and he pretended like he wasn't obviously just looking for her. Y/n kept watching as he made a joke to Sapnap, who suddenly realized his friend was there and kicked Dream from the floor.

Y/n turned back to Karl and George, who were looking at her with shit-eating grins on their faces. Their faces were dead giveaways that they had been talking about him.

"Wipe those stupid looks off your faces."

"What looks?" George laughed. "We aren't doing anything!"

"You are both the human incarnation of 'colon capital D."

Karl lifted his tattooed hand and made a circle with his thumb from his pointer finger to recreate the face. He cackled loudly and her face only gained warmth. He was drawing too much attention to them. Why was she so embarrassed for him to find out they were talking about him when he so obviously liked her?

"Hello," Dream said slowly as he approached the trio. Just as her eyes were glued to him, his were to her.

"Hi, Dream. Sleep well?" George teased, earning a subtle kick from Y/n.

"Sorry, leg twitched." She smiled through her teeth. After a few beats of silence, she looked up to see George and Karl looking at each other awkwardly and Dream still staring at her.

"What was that, Quackity? You need us?" Karl asked loudly.

"Coming!" George followed and they left the kitchen. Y/n pulled her hoodie collar over her mouth like always, trying to hide subtly.

Dream walked towards her but rested his hands on the island counter to her left, methodically pounding the granite softly. "Hi."

"Hi," she squeaked after a pause. Despite her nerves and fear and confusion, she had a big smile plastered on her face.

"How did you sleep?" he asked innocently. 

Her mind raced at his question. Better than she had ever slept in her entire life, honestly. Nothing like being curled up against a 6'3 boy who happened to make her heart race with every look. She settled on, "Good. You?"

"Like a baby,” he smiled. “Except, it would have been better if you hadn’t left.” 

She smiled. “I was hungry.” 

“What did you have?” he asked, hopping on the counter next to her, hands between his legs and thigh pressed against hers. Similar to the night they kissed for the first time. 

“I’m waiting for my tea to finish before I figure out what I want to eat.”

“Tea?” he asked. “Did you steal mine?” 

“I’ll buy you more.”

“No, it’s okay. I’m just proud I converted you.” 

Y/n laughed and hopped off the counter as the kettle started whistling. “George!” she called. “The water is ready!” 

George wandered in a few moments later, eyeing the two suspiciously as Y/n poured him a cup of hot water. 

“Hey, I never said George could have any of my tea,” Dream protested as he watched the Brit dig through Dream’s box of teabags. 

“Didn’t ask,” George responded, grabbing his mug and a teabag, smiling cheekily at Dream. “Bugsy said yes, and what she says goes.” 

“That’s fair,” Dream agreed, smiling at her. She rolled her eyes and opened a teabag for herself, looking up just as George headed for the stairs. Part of her knew he was going to her room to hang out with Naomi. Cute. 

With them alone again, Dream leaned back on his hands, observing Y/n cautiously. “What’s on your mind?” she asked softly, noticing the seriousness in his eyes. 

He hesitated, licking his lips before shaking his head. “I’ll tell you later. When there are fewer people.” 

She raised an eyebrow. “We can go out to the dock if you want. No one is outside right now.”

Dream glanced out the window at the dock, the lake water still and vacant. “Yeah, let’s go. It’s chilly out though, grab a jacket.” 

“I’ll trade you,” she bargained. When he raised his eyebrows at her, a smile on his lips, she wasn’t embarrassed to elaborate. “The ones you gave me don’t smell like you anymore.” 

“Simp. Deal.” 

They met back at the front door, where they handed each other a hoodie. It was admittedly very cheesy, but Y/n couldn’t bring herself to care. Not when she got to bundle up in a hoodie that smelled like Dream. He held her tea as she put on her shoes and they slipped out of the house undetected. 

Despite their friends definitely knowing they liked each other, Y/n wasn’t sure how much Dream was okay with them knowing. Of course, Naomi knew everything, but Y/n didn’t know what the boys knew. She knew Dream liked her, but it was unclear whether he was just having fun or if maybe something could happen between them. 

“Is this secluded enough for your big conversation?” Y/n asked lightheartedly after they finally sat down on the dock, shoes off and feet hanging in the cold water. 

Dream laughed through his nose, clearly nervous. “Yeah.” 

She frowned at his hesitance, placing her hand on his leg and squeezing lightly. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing. Nothing’s wrong. I just.” He took a deep breath and put his hand on hers. “I’m sure it’s obvious that I like you–”

She laughed and put her head on his shoulder, realizing this was going to be a good conversation. “Maybe a little.”

Dream laughed softly, seeming to ease up a little at her touch. “And I don’t know if– like, how much you want to work for… this,” he gestured between them, “because I know we don’t really live near each other, but I like you so much that it doesn’t really matter to me. I really like you, Y/n. Like, a scary amount.” 

Y/n placed her chin on his shoulder and looked at him. “I like you a scary amount, too.” 

“Really?” 

“‘Really’, he asks the girl who hates people being in her personal space, who is currently laying on him,” she teased. “Yes, Dream. I really do like you. I wasn’t sure if you thought we were just having fun or something.” 

He shook his head as he looked at her and she sat up. “I mean, it is fun. But I’m scared to go home and not get to hug you.” 

Y/n pouted fondly at him. “You’re so cute.”

“I mean it!” he laughed. “I like you, don’t bully me about it.” 

“I’m kinda dreading going home, too. At least you have Patches. I have Karl and Naomi the smotherers.” 

Dream shook his head with a smile. “Oh, another thing. I wanted you to know... I know you have that whole thing about not thinking people can like people without seeing them but… It’s important to me that you know I don’t just like you for your looks. You are so pretty, but I definitely had a crush on you before you sent me a picture.” 

“Really?” she asked, smiling. 

He nodded, cheeks a light pink. He would blame the cold, but she knew it wasn’t that. 

“I wanted to tell you sooner that I liked you, but I was worried you wouldn’t believe me because I didn’t even know what you looked like. But it didn’t matter to me.”

“What did you like about me?” she asked.

“Everything. You were just so nice and funny and sweet and it was so easy to talk to you about anything for hours. I was always so giddy when I found out you’d be joining a stream I was on or when you’d message me or anything like that. I still am.” 

“It’s still weird to me, but the more I think about it, the more I’m pretty sure I kinda liked you before that FaceTime call. Which disproves my whole theory.”

“You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.”

Y/n laughed loudly. “I’m my own worst enemy.”

Dream watched her laugh with a fond, lovesick smile. 

“What are you thinking about now?” she asked teasingly, seeing his bright smile. 

“Will you be my girlfriend, Bug? We can plan visits like twice a month at least or whenever we have time. I’m pretty sure it’s only about a nine-hour drive, which seems like a lot but I’d have no problem driving that. It still wouldn’t be enough but it’s better than not being able to see you at all.” 

Y/n cut him off by grabbing his chin and turning his face to her. He stopped as they looked at each other. “Of course, Dream. I’d love to be your girlfriend.” 

He smiled so big, she was sure his face was hurting. But it fell as she pulled his face down to hers and kissed him gently. 

Maybe her asshole ex would make up things to turn her fans against her. Maybe she would go crazy never being able to see her boyfriend. Maybe her career would fall apart and her deepest fears would come true. 

Or maybe, with Dream on her side rooting for her, along with all her friends, maybe everything would be okay.

taglist: @loraleiix @iamnothereatthemoment @charsdummb @jeyyes @notgeoreg @gaysludge @queestionmark @carnations-red @letsloveimagines @the-fictionwriters-hairdo @boiled-onionrings @fee-btheweeb @erwinss @just-a-stan @axths @fatherfigured @sometimeseverythingsucks @tinyegg @nikkineeky @bellomi-clarke @possiblyanxioushuman @crybabyjabby @mushroom-main @hungoverhellhound @dreamyteam @kuroo-icedtea @sapphic-soot @fangeekkk @haseulreturns @queenwastaken @sunbunniie @losingvienna @bi-narystars @zero-nightshade @sparklykeylime @youhyakuya @danny-devitowo @clubfairy @loser-keiji @alm334 @the-katastrophe @wreny24 @applecakeradio @hehe-red @brendalopez99 @spacecluster @justonemoreepisode @strawbrinkofdeath 

NOTE: WOOO IT'S OVER TY FOR STICKING AROUND FOR SO LONG LMAO LUV U HOPE YOU LIKED IT <3333

[saintmeghanmarkle]

Would You Call This A Fable? by u/deercl

Would You Call This A Fable? ("Opinion" seemed the best Flair fit...)The recent Desperation Frenzy of TW reminded me of a missionary story I'd heard years ago. What do you think? Does it fit the current situation?"One missionary told of their experience on the field that illustrates this so well. One day they said that an enormous snake—much longer than a man—slithered its way right through their front door and into the kitchen of their simple home. Of course, they were terrified and ran outside looking for one of the natives who might know what to do. Before long a neighbor with a machete showed up, calmly marched into their house and decapitated the snake with one clean chop.The neighbor reemerged triumphant and assured the missionaries that the reptile was dead. But there was a catch. He warned them that it was going to take a while for the snake to realize it was dead.A snake's neurology and blood flow are such that it can take considerable time for it to stop moving even when its head has been removed. For the next several hours, the missionaries were forced to wait outside while the snake thrashed about, smashing furniture and flailing against walls and windows, wreaking havoc until its body finally understood that it no longer had a head." So, is all of this "Montecito Hullabaloo" just TW thrashing around, causing as much damage as possible, before her dreams come crashing down never to be dreamed again?I had to find this story on the internet because I don't trust my memory to get the details of the story correct. Here's the link if you're interested: https://sermons.logos.com/sermons/120297-headless-snake​ post link: https://ift.tt/SzFCR09 author: deercl submitted: March 19, 2024 at 07:29PM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit disclaimer: all views + opinions expressed by the author of this post, as well as any comments and reblogs, are solely the author's own; they do not necessarily reflect the views of the administrator of this Tumblr blog. For entertainment only.

[justthegreat1]

A work of Art: Terrifier 2 Review

Pictured above is the “Terrifier 2 poster”. Image credit: CINEDIGM, iconic events releasing, SCREAMBOX, and BloodyDisgusting

  9 years ago, A soon-to-be horror icon was born, and his name is Art the Clown who was previously played by Mike Gianelli in the film “All Hallows Eve”. Art the Clown is a character I have been wanting to talk about on this blog for a while and I’m so happy to be getting an opportunity to talk about this character who is currently played by David Howard Thornton.  This review is going to be in two sections, my spoiler free thoughts on the movie and my spoiler filled thoughts on it. So, here we go.

Terrifier 2 is a 2022 horror film directed by Damien Leone (All Hallows Eve, All Hallows Eve 2, and Terrifer) who also produced this movie. The cast includes David Howard Thornton as Art the Clown, Lauren LaVera as Sienna Shaw, Elliott Fulham as Jonathan Shaw, Sarah Voigt as Barbara Shaw, Amelie McLain as The Little Pale Girl / Emily Crane, Chris Jericho as Burke, Kailey Hyman as Brooke, Casey Hartnett as Allie, Charlie McElveen as Jeff, Johnnath Davis as Ricky, Amy Russ as Allie’s mother, Cory DuVal as Coroner, Samantha Scaffidi as Victoria “Vicky” Heyes, Griffin Santopietro as Eric, Owen Myre as Sean, Felissa Rose as Ms. Principe, Tamara Glynn as Shopping mother, and Nedim Jahić as Travis Bryant.

The plot:

After being resurrected by a sinister entity, Art the Clown returns to Miles County where he begins to target a teenage girl and her younger brother on Halloween.

Spoiler free section:

Positives- One of the many positives I have about Terrifer 2 is the use of practical effects. I must give props to the makeup department as they did an amazing job with the blood and gore in this movie (That probably makes me sound like a sick person) as there is one scene where I wanted to look away but couldn’t. Don’t worry, we will discuss that scene in the spoiler section of this review. For a movie with a low budget, the practical effects look amazing compared to CGI in other movies…but that is just my opinion.

The second positive I have about Terrifer 2 is that the acting was better than part 1, now don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed the first one, hell I own it. But the acting in this movie was a step up. David Howard Thornton is a scene stealer every time he is on screen as Art the Clown. He can make you feel afraid and some scenes he will make you laugh (or cry if you are afraid of clowns…) Lauren LaVera is great in the role of Sienna, her performance makes you root for the character and she makes smart decisions in a world where horror characters rarely do that (unless you’re name isn’t Laurie Strode from “Halloween” or Erin from “You’re Next”).

Pictured above is David Howard Thornton as Art the Clown

The third and final positive I have about Terrifer 2 is that it is entertaining. It is a throwback to super gory horror movies of the 80’s-90’s with it’s use of practical effects and David Howard Thornton’s performance as Art the Clown…you will not be bored. I’m glad that a movie with a budget of $250,000 earned $11.3 million at the box office and is getting plenty of attention from the internet, news channels, and daytime talk shows which is shocking considering the content that is in this movie.

Stay for the post credit scene.

Negatives:

I surprisingly have two negatives for this movie and that is we don’t learn about Art’s backstory and his motivations. We get hints throughout the movie…but it doesn’t pay off. Another negative I have is the lack of character development. With a runtime of 2 hours and 18 minutes, you would expect some character development. But, don’t let these negatives affect your experience of viewing Terrifier 2 as it has rewatch value.

Spoilers

You are now entering the spoiler section of this review if you didn’t see Terrifier 2…avoid this section of this review. If you have seen Terrifer 2 or don’t want to see it, feel free to read this section.

Thank you

So, Earlier I talked briefly about a certain scene in the movie where I wanted to look but couldn’t and that is the bedroom scene. In this scene Art the Clown brutally mutilates Allie to the point of beyond recognition and he pours salt and bleach on her body (ouch). Art the Clown breaks her arms like how I break chicken wings to get the meat (I’m sorry that I put that image in your head dear reader.) There were a lot of crunching noises in that scene. There was a second scene I wanted to look away from the screen and that was the post credit scene and, in this scene, Victoria writes “Vicky + Art” with her blood (I’m not even going to say where the blood comes from). After this she gives birth to Art’s head and my reaction to this was “What the hell?!”.

My overall thoughts:

After watching this movie, I have to say that this movie delivers on the bloody ultraviolence Art the Clown is known for, while giving us likeable characters and great acting from the cast. Also, this might be the scariest movie I have seen all year (so far).

What did you think about Terrifier 2?

Feel free to leave a comment.

Where to watch Terrifer 2?

Terrifer 2 can currently be watched on ScreamBox, Digital Retailers, and the Blu-Ray and DVD coming on December 27th,2022.

Sources of Information:

Terrifer 2-IMDB

ScreamBox: Terrifer 2

 The Numbers.com: Terrifer 2

[insert-witty-user-name-here]

Fic Origin Story

Thanks for the tag @loki-is-my-kink-awakening! See their wonderful origin story here.

What was your first fandom (reading and/or writing)?

I grew up on Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, and Star Trek from my mom. So the nerdom has always been strong with me 😂❤️ But the first two fandoms that I actively consumed fan creations for was Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings.

First fandom I wrote for and engaged in was the Loki series

What was the first story you ever wrote (even if it was never posted) and what made you decide to write it?

Oh gosh, I’ve been writing as long as I can remember. I couldn’t tell you the first story I ever wrote.

As to why I write, I don’t know either! I’ve always been one lost to daydreams. It’s just always been a part of me. Some days writing/day dreaming feels as natural as breathing. (Other days not so much lol).

What's a piece of advice you would give to your younger fic-writing self?

Write down that idea- even if just a little sentence. And, don’t delete your work. You never know when a seed of an idea might finally come to fruition, could be years later.

What's an early fandom interaction that stuck with you (be it a nice comment, a friend you made, a fic that got a lot of feedback etc.)?

Complicated question. Harry Potter was my first fandom. I vividly remember going to midnight book release parties. To be cliche, they were truly magical. A lot of my childhood and some of my most treasured moments with my family were shaped by Harry Potter.

But now it feels like all those happy memories are tainted by JKR She Who Must Not Be Named’s hate and bigotry.

So instead, I’ll say nothing will compare though to the first few comments I received- or hell the first kudo when I posted my first fanfic in 2021.

I had no online presence (still don’t really lol) and felt like I was just throwing a bit of my soul into the void of the internet. It was is scary! I had no idea who would even read it, let alone enjoy it. I truly treasure each and every comment and kudo. 🥹💖

Post a sentence or two from one of your older fics, and a sentence or two from a newer one (if you want).

First paragraph from my first fic, Rising From the Ashes (Aw, nostalgia)

MOBIUS SIGHED, rubbing a weary hand over his face before answering the terrified looking analyst. Greg? Grant? He couldn’t remember. Something with a G or maybe a J. Hell, with the amount of sleep Mobius had received the last two standard weeks, Mobius could hardly remember his own name.

And the last paragraph from my most recent published fic, Becoming His Mobius, Part 2:

Mobius and Loki didn’t know just how much chaos awaited them in their future. But they never looked back. Not once. All of it- the ruined furniture, the ghastly choir recitals, the last-minute science projects, the innumerable number of pranks pulled by their minions of chaos- it was all worth it. To the end of their days Loki and Mobius would never waver from what they decided the day of Frigga’s birth. They were the luckiest people in the multiverse. And from a certain point of view, they were. The impact of their love would flourish throughout the Timelines for long after they’d gone; for all time, always.

If I were to analyze any differences it would be I’ve really given into my indulgence of let’s just keep that sentence or sentiment going. Editing who? 😂 and that’s okay with me.

Most certainly double tagging writer friends but that’s because I’d love to be tagged in your answers and read your fic origin stories if you’re up for it! So tagging @mirilyawrites @dewdropreader @mimisempai @rins-love-wins @lgwilt @starport-seven-five @queen-of-meows ❤️

[nickyhemmick]

A Very Stressed American Jew here again,

Hi! Thank you for taking the time to respond to my ask and yes, I’m someone who loves hearing as many perspectives as possible so I’d love some sources from you. I also very much appreciate the fact you are being very careful to only reblog posts that are anti Israel, not antisemetic (which is frankly a breath of fresh air, the internet has been a bit exhaustingly full of both antisemitic & Islamaphobic content these past feel days as I bet you’ve seen)

I’ve also been to Israel on a Birthright trip. We met people who ( both Palestinian and Israeli) on various sides of the conflict and learned a ton about it, from both perspectives which I was lucky to have the opportunity to do. We even went a little into the Gaza Strip to talk to these people running a pro Palestine peace movement and it was so important to me hearing those stories.

I never said they were on equal footing militarily, they definitely are not, Israel definitely has that advantage. But you are incorrect about Israel always being the aggressor since 1948,they’ve defended themselves about as often as they’ve attacked. Isreal is a small country comparatively to the ones surrounding it, so it makes sense it defends itself heavily in case of an attack.

I 100% agree that there are too many people who are compliant with the mistreatment of many Palestinians! I’m not anti #freepalestine at all! I get why that is a thing. But I also stand with Israel( but that does not mean I condone every action they take. ) Overall I think the situation is extremely complicated and some sort of compromise should be reached.

It’s just been very frustrating to see so many people reblog things on a situation just bashing Israel because so many others are doing it. Especially when then don’t know what they are talking about or using big buzz words that they don’t know what they mean, or spreading misinformation. It’s been on both sides and has been very very draining. I just want peace and some sort of solution. It makes me extremely happy you know what you are talking about and can debate politely yet happily about it. The internet has been so ‘ either agree with me 100% or you a bad person’ about this so it’s refreshing to see you are not like that.

I’ve done a lot of research into it from as many perspectives as I can get my hands on.

Some extremest Israelis are hurting Palestinians

Some extremest Palestinians are hurting Israelis

Both sides are throwing rockets at each other and it’s terrifying.

Both sides claim the other side is brainwashed

There is so much biased propaganda out there on both ends it’s hard to know what is truly happening.

I know people living in Israel who have sent me videos they’ve taken of rockets flying over there heads and I’m so scared for them. I’m so scared for all the innocent people caught in the crossfire on both sides.

Thank you for a more nuanced response and I’d love some of your sources,

A Very Stressed American Jew

Hi anon, 

I wasn’t going to respond to this until after my math final tomorrow but I’ve spent the past two days thinking of your ask and the things I wish to articulate in my answer. 

I am going to start here: how can you say you support Israel but say you are also pro-free Palestine (as in, you said you are not anti free Palestine). In my opinion, these two ideas cannot coexist. Simply because, the entire establishment of Israel has been on violent, racist, colonial grounds. 

(Super long post under here guys)

You said you don’t support all Israel’s actions, and definitely, just because you support something doesn’t mean you can’t criticize it. However, in my opinion, if you do not support Israel’s actions against Palestinians there’s not much left to support? I admit this is a very biased view as I am Palestinian, but many things that people support about Israel have existed before its creation: as in, these are things and qualities that have existed in Judaism and are not due to “Israeli culture.” There is no Israeli culture. There’s Jewish culture--100%. But there is no Israeli culture, because Israel does not only steal Palestinian land, but Palestinian culture, too. Such as claiming Levant food is Israeli; hummus, ful, falafel, shawarma. I mentioned food from this article I know is culturally and traditionally of the Levant, and has been for centuries, it is not something that has come to culinary creation in the past 73 years. 

I do not think this is a complicated issue. I said that in the previous ask and I’ll say that again. Saying it is a complicated issue is trivializing the deaths of innocent Palestinians, the violent dispossession our ancestors endured, and the apartheid they live under. I hope if anything comes from this discussion it is you removing the “it’s a complicated issue” phrase from your vernacular. 

This is not complicated. A journalist reporting the death of martyrs only to discover that of them include two of his brothers is not complicated. The asymmetry of Israel vs Palestinian armed forces is not complicated, nor is the asymmetry in Israeli vs Palestinian suffering (which I will get to later). It is not complicated.  Destroying the graves of martyred Palestinians (or just in general, the graves of the dead) is not complicated. Little children being pulled from the rubble, children being forced to comfort one another as they are covered in the ashes of their decimated homes, attacking unarmed citizens in peaceful demonstrations (you can find videos before this attack where they were playing with kites and balloons), destroying an international media office and refusing to allow journalists to retrieve the work they are spending every waking hour documenting but claiming it was because it was a hide out for a “Hamas base,” fathers who are trying to cheer their frightened children up only to end up dead the next day, while many Israeli have the privilege and the option to go to hotel-like bomb shelters is not complicated. 

This brings me to my next point: the suffering of Palestinians cannot be compared to the inconvenience of Israeli’s. On one side, you have children who are happy to have saved their fish in the face of their homes and lives being decimated behind them to Israeli’s in Tel Aviv having to cut their beach day short to get to bomb shelters. You have mothers and fathers ready to set their lives down for their children to save them from bombs to Israeli’s enjoying their brunch only after making sure there are bomb shelters there. You have Palestinian children being murdered to blocking out the sound of sirens in the safety of your bomb shelters. (The first picture of the Palestinian child is not from footage of the recent problems). You have the baby lone survivor of a whole family recovered from rubble. His whole family, gone, before he ever had the chance to realize that he even exists, while Israeli’s decide to flee out of the country,(Translate the caption from Twitter, it checks out), or have to leave the shower due to sirens. Who is really suffering? 

I won’t sit here and pretend like the thought of rockets flying over my head, no matter which side I am on, is not terrifying. It is. It’s scary to just think about. But Israeli’s have protection beyond Palestinian’s, they have sirens to warn them (Israel does not always warn Palestinian building members that it is about to be bombed), they have the Iron Dome, they have simply the threat of nuclear power (which I am not saying Israel would use, but the simple fact they have it would make me feel a lot better if I were an Israeli citizen) and they have bomb shelters. What do Palestinians have? Hamas? That smuggles its weapons through the ocean? That only ever reacts to the action Israel instigates? And yet Gazans are branded terrorists and that it is their fault that they “elected” a terrorist organization that only was ever created due to no protection from any armed country? (There are so many links I want to add in this paragraph but it is simply impossible for me to add everything I want, a lot of what I’m referring to can either be found through a Google search, or you can stalk my Twitter account, all that I am posting now is about Palestine, and will include sources of things I cannot add in just this one post.) 

Look, I see myself in the genocide happening in Palestine right now. I see myself in this ten year-old girl. In this three year old girl. I see me and my family in videos of cars being attacked in Ramallah and Sheikh Jarrah (I cannot find the Ramallah video, should be somewhere on my Twitter), I see my father in the countless videos of fathers crying out for their children, of kissing the corpse of their loved ones (again, translate the Tweet, the man holding the body is saying “just one kiss”). I see my grandfather in videos like this (old footage). I see my younger brother, I see my grandmother, my mother, my aunts and uncles and cousins. I see myself and my life and my family were my father not lucky enough to get a scholarship to the UK and out of Palestine, were my maternal grandfather not been lucky enough to make it to a refugee camp and build a life in Jordan. I have an unbelievable amount of privilege to be born into the life I was born in to, in terms of I do not have the threat of bombs and violent dispossession around me, and I do not even live in the US. I have privilege and sheer luck that my parents were able to go to the US so that me and my brothers can be born, because now I have both the protection of the most powerful country in the world while at the same time being part of a people to have suffered so generously the past seventy-three years. 

On the other hand, you saying that Israel has “defended themselves about as often as they’ve attacked. Israel is a small country comparatively to the ones surrounding it, so it makes sense it defends itself heavily in case of an attack,” I offer you this question: why are they using military grade guns and stun grenades in mosques to “defend” themselves from rocks? And before you mention that Hamas hit Tel Aviv, I remind you that Hamas did that due to the violence in the Al-Aqsa mosque square and the attempted ethnic cleansing in Sheikh Jarrah. The violence didn’t begin with us; the violence was brought out of Palestinians in resistance to the generations of oppression we have endured and the attack on Palestinian Muslims during the holiest night of Ramadan. Hamas has since asked for a ceasefire multiple times and Israel is refusing. New reports say there is a possibility of a ceasefire in the coming days, but Israel could have decided this a long time ago and spared many lives. (Remember, no matter what resistance we make, Israel is the one in power).

Israel has been the aggressor since 1948. Just read up about the Nakba! 700k Palestinian families were dispossessed violently. The only reason Israel was established at all was because it simply declared it was now a country and the US and many other countries recognized it as such. (Of course, there are many other historical details here, like the British Mandate of Palestine, the Balfour Declaration, the Oslo Accords and many others. I am aware of them but these are for a different post all together). My paternal grandfather was a little younger than me when Israel as a state was created. The hostility that followed was due to this independent declaration being listened to over Palestinian voices. 

Here is a very, very simplified analogy, one that can also answer some people’s questions as to why Palestinians (not Arabs, we are Palestinian before we are Arab) did not like what happened in 1948 and why they refused a two-state solution (that Israel was never going to go through with anyway). (I am also aware other Arab nations got involved, and that is perhaps what you mean when you said they had to defend themselves, but my response to that would still be we didn't start it, that we only responded to it).

Let’s say you are a farmer. You have many fields of trees, ones you have taken shelter under from the sun since you were a child, or hid behind when you wanted to avoid your parents when you misbehaved. You have seen your trees grow from a seed, to a sprout, to a flower, to a large, beautiful tree with fruits the size of a fist. You pluck the fruits from one tree, and make a jam from it. I don’t know how to make jam but I know it takes a lot of energy. So, you make this jam and from it, produce a lovely, mouth-watering pie. Once it has cooled from the oven, you take it with you outside your balcony just so that you can admire the years, months, weeks and hours this one pie has taken to be created. Suddenly, a stranger walks past and yells to you, “That pie looks delicious, I want it!” And you, shocked at their boldness but ready to share, say, “I will give you a bite.” But the stranger says, “No! I do not want a bite or a slice or whatever you want to offer me, I want the pie!” And they grab it from you. You and the stranger start screaming at one another about who the pie is for, who is allowed to decide what happens to it, and who you can share it with. Then, another stranger comes by and says, “Why all the problems? Let’s cut the pie in half and the both of you can share it!” But why should you, who has spent years cultivating the fruit and grain inside this pie, share it? Why should you give up half of the 100% that you already owned? Of what you already had? So you disagree, and now a crowd has formed around you. “What’s the problem?” someone in the crowd calls. “They don’t want to share their pie!” another voice says. Then you become branded a selfish, mean bastard. Again, this is a super simplified analogy, so don’t take it too seriously, but I am trying to show you why Israel is the aggressor.

In addition, I do not know too much about the Birthright program, just that American Jewish people are sent to Israel, all expenses paid. I tried my best to find the Twitter thread but I read it so long ago, about an American Jewish person who went on their trip and they talked about the propaganda that they were exposed to on that trip. I can’t say for sure that it is true, because I haven’t been on it and never will, but that is the first thing I thought of when you mentioned your Birthright trip. Either way, I think it is still great you went and saw the country. However, I must ask you this: are the people you met ones you, yourself, sought out, or ones you were organized to meet?

Now, I haven’t been to Gaza, so I don’t know what you really saw or didn’t, but did you speak to Palestinians who lost their homes to airstrikes? Did you speak to siblings, parents or children of loved ones who had been lost beneath the rubble of buildings and towers? Outside of Gaza, did you speak to Palestinians that live in poor quarters? Ones who have been victims of an IDF soldier shooting them, or who have family members who have died from such attacks? Did they take you guys to Ramallah, to Nablus, to Beit-Imreen, to Jenin, to small villages in the West Bank, far away from Jerusalem and Tel Aviv? Did you speak to people there? Ask them their stories? Because if you did I have a very hard time believing you still think Israel is “defending” itself.

I’ve been to Jerusalem, many times, even Tel Aviv and Jaffa and Haifa. All the times I visited Dome of the Rock there were IDF soldiers with huge guns strapped to their person, standing menacingly outside the courtyard. For what? Genuinely, genuinely for what? It is nothing but an intimidation tactic. The same way we are not allowed in through the airport. If you could see the struggle some Palestinians actually go through just to get into Palestine, through the land border, you would be disgusted. I love Palestine, it is my ancestry land, it is my culture and tradition. But I always hated going to visit because I knew the way to getting there would be hell.

My father worked in Tel Aviv through the first Intifada. My maternal grandfather was forced out of his home in the Nakba and was forced to leave behind his belongings and the orange trees that have been in his family for generations. Hell, the town they lived in was destroyed! It doesn’t exist anymore except in the memories of my aunts and uncles, who never even saw it, but just heard of it from their father!

I’m not saying there aren’t Palestinians who are racist and anti-Semitic (though, tbh, I will direct you here for that) and who support Hamas in killing Israeli’s, but talking about how there are many “extremist” Palestinians who are hurting Israeli’s and in the next line say there are extremist Israeli’s who are hurting Palestinians is not correct. There are extremist Israeli’s killing, lynching, stealing the houses of Palestinians, and there are Palestinians who are fed up and fighting back. (I am not talking about Hamas vs the IDF here, I am talking about the citizens). I have not seen one reported death of an Israeli due to Palestinian violence (if you have, from a trusted source, send it to me), but I have seen countless of the other way around. I have seen images of charred little bodies, of a baby being dug out of the rubble, of a child’s body that had been so mutilated that you can literally see the insides of their body coming out. (I don’t know if it’s on my Twitter, I didn’t want to save that shit). If this was my country I would be absolutely ashamed of myself and my people and what they are doing in the name of my protection. So you have to forgive me, and forgive other Palestinians, who don’t give a fuck about Israeli’s having anxiety over rockets flying over their heads when we see these images. Where is the protection of our kids? Why does no one seem to mention them except when mentioning the poor, innocent ones in Israel? At least more than the majority of them have their parents to comfort and rock them. At least many of them will probably be saved of ever having to be beneath the rubble of a destroyed building, or digging in it, to hope to find the parts of their parents or siblings just so that they can bury them. Just the links from the start of my answer is enough to support what I am saying.

I have soooo much more I can say, like how Israel uses religion to distort the image of what’s going on (tbh, just check my Twitter for that: language is EVERYTHING), but you didn’t mention religion in any of this and so I won’t either. The only reason I decided to respond to you in such length was because you have been one of the few respectful anons in my inbox in the past few years of me being on here talking about Israel, so I appreciate that from you. 

As promised, some more sources: decolonizepalestine is a good place to start if you haven’t used it already, it has reading materials, myth busting, and more. Here is a map list of destroyed localities from pre-1948 until 2017, run by two anti-Zionist Israelis. Here and here are the articles I promised of a former IDF soldier-turned Palestinian activist, I read these two last year in June and remember coming out much more informed than before I read them. I suggest looking into the writer and his organization, which, if I remember correctly, collects accounts from previous IDF soldiers. I would suggest not to follow Israel and the IDF accounts on any platform, or any Israel times newspaper, simply because they will not tell you the truth. In fairness, you do not have to follow any Palestinian Authority accounts (which I am not even sure there are), but to follow on-ground Palestinians like Mohammed El-Kurd, who has been speaking out since he was 12 (he is now 22) and he is part of the families in Sheikh Jarrah. I have noticed that this and this account have been translating Arabic headlines and tweets for non-Arabic speakers, I have just started following this person but their bio says they are a Palestinian Jewish person so I am interested in their view of things. You can also follow Israeli’s on-ground and see their perspective on things, but I would also advise to compare the Palestinian and Israeli side of things from the people, and critically analyze the language used in each case. Also, this article references Jewish scholars opposed to the occupation (I have not looked into them myself but I plan to after my exams), and Norman Finklestein is another great Jewish scholar to look into if you haven’t. Twitter is better than Instagram and Facebook, so I would stick to getting live-info from there, Twitter does not censor Palestinian content as much as Insta and Facebook so you’re more likely to see things there.

I will end this by saying I personally do not see any other option for peace than to give Palestinians our land back. Whether we may be Muslim, Jewish or Christian, it has always been and will always be our land. I only hope to see it free in my lifetime. 

Free Palestine. 

[feelingofcontent]

DNP Rewatch: Time For A Change

Date video was published: 01/25/2019 (X)

DNP Main Channel Rewatch: 386

The first video of 2019! This was late in the year for the first Phil video (I say as we had to wait all the way until February in 2022...)

0:00 - I like that he starts off wearing the same shirt as from PINOF 10. the transition to the next era!

0:04 - well that is a start

0:17 - “private Philly time” um. 😳 did not think about that one before he said it

0:26 - they really were constantly going in 2018

0:46 - dramatic music! this was a big change for Phil

0:59 - ��many reasons” and a sudden blank 😂 or at least a blank on reasons he can share with the internet

1:10 - don’t think this one was as much of an issue after the move to the second London flats

1:21 - jesus christ Phil

1:40 - I mean valid

1:59 - that tweet also served as a “warning” that this change was coming so the video wouldn’t be a complete surprise

2:06 - we’ve spent so many years on dog hill

2:20 - lol at Phil’s annotations

2:32 - well that’s specific and terrifying

2:40 - love Phil reading the full tweet thread conversation

2:50 - mr english language degree there... 😂

3:21 - is this the first time he just straight-up said “bitch” on his channel? it might be. I know he did, like “bee-otch” previously

3:30 - candles and plants...very consistent now for Phil

3:40 - the pickle will end up in his background at some point!

4:27 - I’m sure there are smaller ones than that

4:39 - love Phil’s utter confusion there

4:58 - “the mall” lol

5:11 - “cool stuff...like a penis pillow” alrighty then

5:30 - Phil really sees dicks everywhere 😂

5:53 - yeah, no that is definitely horrifying not cute

6:11 - “do I want naked handstand man? probably not” I’m cackling

6:56 - background reveal! this set-up was in the little room behind the sliding glass door where Dan’s background was originally in the filming flat. so Dan must have known he wasn’t going to be filming there anymore

7:06 - “or new piece of wall” yeah, he knows he can’t say “new home” without the speculation flying

7:15 - “a little bit of help from Danny boy” of course

7:20 - that one had already been alive a long time, so probably the safest plant choice

7:23 - love the TATINOF cube tower holding the lava lamp 😂 they got a lot of use out of those

7:42 - I like the dinosaur lamp

7:58 - the candle Dan gave him for Christmas 2016! wonder if he ever finally burned it to see the skeleton part inside

8:05 - Lion is on such a low shelf that it isn’t visible in a lot of the videos

8:20 - whoops; I’ve done that before when buying things online. but he has that vase his new background now! haha

8:40 - yeah that does not work

8:50 - I feel like it takes him a while before he tries anything really “new”

9:02 - why...does Phil want to dip his toe...in honey

9:17 - oh, the start of the cactus club. I can’t believe that was all the way back in 2019

9:57 - Phil’s discount code ideas 😂

10:15 - also the start of the dog end screens

This is a good video for the first one of the year. And a necessary one for a somewhat-big change.

DNP went to visit friends up in the Manchester area in early January (1, 2, 3, 4, 5), including going to an arcade bar, which they posted a lot from (1, 2, 3, 4, 5). They also did an Interactive Introverts “viewing party” where they live tweeted through it. After that (1, 2) is when Dan went almost fully quiet online until BIG in June.

So this video kicked off kind-of an “inbetween” era, after Interactive Introverts, but pre-coming-out. I’ll be honest - I already know that Phil’s early 2019 content is not my favorite, but maybe I’ll find a couple surprises that I end up liking more on rewatch!

[thenakedgingerwrites]

Never Read The Comments (part 1)

The First Comment

“Arguing with people online never works, Kyle.”

I knew she was right, but it didn’t change my perspective. When I saw someone posting some crazy rhetoric online, especially if I detected hate to their words, I had to jump in. If nothing else, it showed other people that someone was willing to stand up against this bullshit.

“Yeah, I guess,” I replied. 

“I bet you’re only doing this because he’s hot.” Katie laughed at her comment which irked me a bit.

“No, it’s because he’s a right-wing neo-nazi.”

“Sure, sure. But the tight clothes and thick muscles don’t hurt.”

I squinted at her. I wouldn’t be honest to her outloud but she had a point. The guy on Tok I had been commenting on was, indeed, hot. AltAndrew was ripped with a thick beard. He knew what he was doing with his tight clothes or open button-ups. If I had muted his videos I could have been convinced I was into him but the second he started talking racist nonsense it dashed those fantasies. I bet that’s why he had a following at all.

If only people weren’t so shallow to idolize and follow the ramblings of a hot guy on the internet.

“Whatever, Katie. I guess it doesn’t matter since I won’t convince anyone.”

She shrugged and sighed. “Kyle, I think it’s great that you speak up for marginalized people. I just wish it had the impact you hope it did.”

“Ha,” I laughed, mostly to myself. “Me too.”

“Anyway, it’s getting late so I should head home.”

Katie had been my best friend since high school and was the first person I came out too back then. We’d created a bit of a weekly ritual to get drunk on Wednesdays and catch up on our lives. She had settled down, still no kids yet but a handsome husband, Ben, we had met mutually in college. And here I was, single and arguing with idiots online.

“Okay. You good to drive?”

“Yeah, thanks Dad. You lapped me 2 hours ago so luckily we chose your place tonight.”

“I didn’t need Ben chastising me too.”

“Oh hush, you love it.” She winked at me and then started gathering up her things. I gave her a hug and saw her to her car before she headed back to the life she had created with someone. 

I poured myself another glass of wine.

Taking it to bed, I idly swiped through my phone reviewing more of the dumb commentary these dumb hunks had to make. I was feeding my addiction. 

Katie’s words stuck in my head and I caught myself swiping past people until I saw an attractive guy. Then, regardless of if I agreed with his opinion or not, I’d comment. Either reaffirming his good intentions, hoping to be noticed by him, or dragging him for his backwoods rhetoric, hoping the same.

One guy, in particular, had the audacity to say “America is the least racist place on the planet” which triggered me and drove me straight to the comments. There was a 50/50 split on the emotions there, but most points had been made logically and statistically discrediting that ‘opinion.’ So I added a simple jab:

[You should just stop talking, like, forever.]

I drained my glass and started on my nightly routine. Brushed my teeth, peed, moisturized my face and then laid down with my lotion for the final ritual, masturbating. A pump of white liquid in my hand and a favorite video of mine pulled up on my laptop set the scene.

Underwear pulled to my thigh, I began lubricating my growing cock as I watched a guy struggle to keep a heavy weight up with both hands while his pants began to slip down. I loved the humiliation genre on PornHub and this was one of my all-time favorites. My own cock was at full mast before the band of his underwear began to come into view.

The entire time the actor pretends to be embarrassed and terrified that his pants are slipping but unable to let the weight down for whatever reason. After his pants pass his thigh, his large pouch is exposed to me. I’m almost ready to shoot then and there but it’s at that moment the actor notices his underwear is stuck on his back pocket.

As his jeans continue to slip below the frame, it pulls his briefs as well. His panicking becomes more frantic and loud as the waistband starts to melt downward. 

Pubes are exposed, thick and private but exposed for me and everyone watching. Then the base of his soft cock. He’s begging at this point to put the weight down but is, again, unable to or not allowed to. 

He tries to spread his legs to keep his underwear up; keeping his shame covered. But he quivers in embarrassment which shudders his legs together. That movement is all that’s needed for the weight of the jeans, now likely at his calf, to win out.

In an instant his briefs are ripped downward out of frame. “Oh god! No!” he yells as his soft cock bounces up and out into view. It’s not necessarily a huge dick, probably average, but the thrill is the humiliation.

The moment his cock and balls burst onto my screen I shoot. Rope after rope splatters onto my t-shirt. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve cum to that video. The mysterious man continues to stand there panicking, pleading to cover himself, as I come down from my orgasm high. 

Shutting the laptop, I place it on my nightstand. I peel my shirt off keeping the wet parts away from my face and ball the shirt up before tossing it into my laundry bin by the door. Luckily, and a bit surprisingly, I made it in.

With that, I roll over and let sleep take me, high on endorphins and forgetting about the idiots on the internet for a bit.

[let-me-write-shit]

Hiiii! I absolutely love your writing. Could you do an imagine based off of your pregnancy one shot? Since H is incredibly private, would the couple be able to hide her pregnancy from the public and then announce it similar to like Kylie Jenner’s video diary of the whole experience? Thanks!!

A/N: Ok I was OBSESSED with this request, but for some reason I found it very difficult to write, so I’m so sorry if it’s shit. Hope you like it <3

Word Count: 2,698

Requests are OPEN! If you have a request for a blurb, oneshot, imagine, whatever, Send me a message HERE!!!

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Is Forever Enough?

From the moment Harry found out he and Y/N were expecting their first child, he knew he wanted to document everything. He had been in the habit of capturing moments throughout their relationship, mainly of big events, but from this moment on, he wanted to capture it all. Little clips of every doctor’s appointment, every craving his wife had, every heartbeat, and every little kick. He wanted video documentation of the life growing inside his wife’s belly and everything that happened during that time. They had waited so long for this moment, and now that it was finally here, he wanted to make sure they would never forget a single second of it. From telling their closest friends and family members, designing the nursery, their tiny baby shower, attended by the select few that were lucky enough to know their secret.

At first, keeping silent was a way to protect themselves in case Y/N’s pregnancy didn’t stick like their fertility doctor had warned them was a possibility. It took them nearly two years to conceive, and the thought of going through a miscarriage in front of millions of watchful eyes was terrifying. But by the time they became aware that they weren’t going to miscarry, they had gone so long without announcing it that there wasn’t a point to do it. Why ruin something that was so well hidden?

The decision not to announce their pregnancy to the public wasn’t a hard decision to make. Harry was private, anyway, and everyone knew that. He was rarely on social media and didn’t talk about his private life to many people, and those who he did talk to were very loyal and trusting. They just wanted to enjoy being pregnant without the prying eyes of strangers and it was fairly easy keeping it under wraps considering how private they were, to begin with.

The timing of Y/N’s pregnancy helped, too. The early part of her pregnancy was during the summer, so they could enjoy tropical holidays together without worrying about being seen because she simply wasn’t showing yet. But, towards the end, it got harder to conceal, like during award season in the fall when an oversized shirt or puffy dress couldn’t conceal the roundness of her bump and plumpness of her cheeks and lips. It was the first award season she hadn’t accompanied Harry to in years and people began to get suspicious.

That’s when the rumors of her possible pregnancy started. Of course, no one could prove anything. But that, along with the lack of sightings of Y/N was enough proof for some. Luckily, nothing more came of it other than whispers. Harry had stopped doing interviews when he first got wind of the rumors, so no one could catch him off guard in uncomfortable positions or having to lie to protect his wife, and he began to focus his attention back on his music, halting his pursuance of on-screen work for the time being until after their baby boy’s arrival. Instead, he was the man behind the camera.

For the most part.

There were times when certain family members or friends would pick up their camera and film some things for them, capturing little intimate moments of the parents-to-be. They even enlisted the help of Harry’s on-tour photographer, Helene Pambrun, to help film the birth of their baby. Though she focused mainly on photography, her knowledge of videography and style of filming fit exactly with what the couple wanted, and Helene was all too honored to be a part of the day.

And although the birth of their child was, albeit, a bit traumatic, they couldn’t have asked for a sweeter baby boy. Born on a frigid Friday evening on March eighteenth after twenty hours of active labor and an onslaught of chaos, Paxton Robin Styles was born, tiny, healthy, and beautiful, surrounded by family that already loved him so dearly.

The hospital staff was wonderful in keeping their attendance private, no one having a clue that they were even there. No news articles or whispers were heard of their newest addition to which they were grateful to be allowed to enjoy their first week home, getting acclimated to being new parents. They had fallen in love with him.

“Y/N!” Harry exclaimed, bouncing into the nursery on a Monday afternoon as his wife fed their son, his phone in hand, and a bright smile on his face.

Y/N looked up, surprised and slightly offended, “Don’t ever call me by my name again,” she joked, stroking their son’s cheek.

Harry laughed, “Sorry, love. But, look! It’s here!”

He held his phone in front of her face, playing the edited version of their pregnancy and birth journey in video form one of Harry’s editor friends kindly put together for them after the birth of their son. The five minute and fifty-one-second video filled with shortened clips of the last nearly ten months of their lives in becoming first-time parents. They watched it together, occasionally glancing down at their baby that had fallen asleep while eating in Y/N’s arms, in awe that this was their life.

Tears were streaming down both of their faces, and Y/N giggled, wiping her husband’s cheek with her free hand. He was an emotional being, she knew that, but she had no idea what the effect of fatherhood would be on her Harry. She couldn’t have picked a better partner to raise a child with.

“I think we should post it,” Harry said, causing Y/N’s eyes to go wide.

“Post it? Like...social media?”

Harry nodded, “Well, we can’t keep him a secret forever. People are already starting to talk. I’d rather announce it on our own terms than on someone else’s. We can still stay as private as possible, I’ve already talked to Jeffrey and my publicist about it. I just...he makes me so proud and I feel like I need to show people that.”

Y/N smiles sweetly at her husband, taking his hand that rested on the arm to the nursing chair and pulling it up to her lips, kissing it gently. “Okay. We can post it.”

Later that evening, the internet was in an uproar and their phones were blowing up like crazy, for on both of their Instagrams they posted a grey-scale picture of a name tag sticker that read “Hello, I’m: P”, captioned ‘link in bio’, where they were directed to a youtube link posted under Harry’s account.

As soon as the video began, Harry’s soft voice was heard, singing his version of ‘Lullaby’ by the Dixie Chicks in the background as unseen footage of their wedding a few years prior had fizzled into view, video of their first dance as husband and wife played while the tail end of a speech made by Harry’s mom, Anne, was heard over everything else.

“We are so incredibly grateful to have Y/N now an official part of our family and I wish you both years of love, health, and happiness….and giving me tons and tons of grandchildren,” earning laughter from the attendees, “I love you both to pieces. Congratulations.”

The video slowly changed to little snippets. Y/N running towards the beach, holding her hat tight on her head with one hand while the other was holding onto Harry’s hand that was at the bottom of the screen as the breeze whipped at Y/N’s hair and sarong, cut to a clip of the camera propped on the beach overlooking the two of them sitting in the sand, looking out into the ocean, Y/N’s head falling on Harry’s shoulder and him kissing the top of her head as the sun set.

Next was a scene during one of Harry’s tour where someone filmed Y/N at the front of the stage in a VIP area beside a few of their friends, dancing and singing along with Harry who stood in front of her, smiling and singing at her.

The next images were upsetting. When they first started trying, they recorded videos of themselves awaiting the results of their tests, hoping to capture the moment they found out on film. One after another, the video showed negative test upon negative test, wanting to document the struggle they faced in fertility, one of the main reasons they decided to post this video. If it helped just one person who struggled with infertility and gave them a bit of hope, they needed to show it.

They showed clips of Harry holding an emotional Y/N in his arms, her eyes filled with tears and a quivering lip as he kissed her forehead and stroked her hair. Until the next clip showed. A shaky still of a screen that read ‘Pregnant’ that panned up to show a reflection of Harry and his wife in the mirror, Y/N pulling the test up to her face with a smile while Harry looked down at his wife in pride, softly touching her flat belly.

Clips of an ultrasound showed, Y/N stomach looking more bloated than anything as the doctor slid the wand around on her belly, Harry filming while squeezing his wife’s hand. His voice could barely be heard over the music of the video as he cooed, “Is that it, right there? So little…”

They included a few announcements they made to family members. How they told Anne while on an end of summer family vacation with a little jewelry box that opened up to two little birds and an egg in a birds nest with a note that said ‘A little birdy told me you are going to be a Nana.’ making Anne burst into tears, hugging them. And when they told Y/N’s best friend by giving her an orange and saying, “That’s how big our baby is right now,” which caused confusion before the screaming.

Y/N had filmed mirror clips of her growing belly in the floor-length mirror that stood in the corner of their room and had gotten clips of Harry laying beside her bump, his hands rubbing her stomach, clasped on either side as he sang, or talked, or read stories.

“I can’t wait to meet you,” he could be heard saying before kissing the top of her bump, looking up and past the camera to his wife, smiling lovingly.

There were images of Christmas, Gemma having caught an intimate moment between the two of them, Y/N sat in between Harry’s legs on the floor, mugs of hot chocolate in her hands and still in their Christmas Pajamas, Harry’s cheek pressed against hers as he held up a blue Gucci baby suit in front of them, smiling and gushing about how small it was.

The couple’s silhouette could be seen in the dark light sky as they stood in the middle of the field, illuminated by the New Years’ fireworks that went off in the distance, Y/N’s belly pressed against Harry’s stomach as they kissed intimately amongst their friends.

A small baby shower inside one of their London country homes was next, littered with a few familiar faces along with some that were likely family members. Harry still sang in the background as the two of them opened gifts, smiling and laughing with each other, genuine happiness and love could be seen on everyone’s faces and a few people popped onto the screen to say a few words for the unborn baby.

“You have wonderful parents,” Y/N’s parents grinned, her mom getting teary-eyed. “I can’t wait to see the person you become.”

Anne’s bright, shining smile was next, “You’re going to do amazing things. You are so loved.”

“Hi, my sweet nephew! It’s Auntie Gemma,” she grinned, waving at the camera, “I can’t wait to meet you and snuggle you! I hope you grow up to be just as kind and loving as your parents. We are so lucky to have you in our lives.”

Harry and Y/N were seen in the background, Y/N eating a slice of cake while Harry casually kissed her cheek before stealing a bite of her food, earning a smile from his pregnant wife

Video panned over their newly renovated nursery, mostly designed to be gender-neutral with little hints of outer space; moon lights, a solar system mobile hanging above the cot, with a star blanket draped over the nursing chair. Harry moved the camera to Y/N who was hanging some onesies in the nursery closet, smiling and waving at the camera.

Next, they were laying in bed. It was dark and, but a glow from a nightstand shone and Y/N’s belly was visible, round and very pregnant, a few freckles near her navel, and the faintest linea nigra could be seen running from her belly button down towards the bottom of her belly. Their voices were barely audible over the music still sung by Harry. A little ripple on her belly cast from left to right and then her belly distorted a little as their baby boy kicked and pressed against the center of her bump, making the couple laugh and Harry’s hand appeared, softly rubbing where his son’s foot would be.

It changed. They were in a hospital now, Y/N in a grey and white spotted hospital gown. The camera was propped on a table filming Y/N  who sat on the edge of her bed, moving her hips from side to side as she breathed heavily, moaning, while Harry kneeled on the floor in front of her, his hands on her hips and squeezing to relieve some pressure. They were talking to each other, concern, and empathy clear on Harry’s face.

In the next clip, Y/N was laying back in her hospital bed, sucking on gas and air. Harry was filming this time, and his Anne could be seen this time, sitting on Y/N’s other side holding her daughter-in-law’s free hand. Y/N put the gas and air down, gave a thumbs-up, and smiled, “We’re having a baby today!” as her mother-in-law smiled brightly.

The footage faded to black before it flashed to Y/N looking at someone just out of view as the disembodied voice said, “Whenever you feel the urge to push, let us know. You’ll be meeting your son soon.”

It faded to black again, Harry’s singing more evident in these moments, louder, as the footage flashed back into focus. The camera was, once again, being propped up on a table. At Y/N’s head on either side stood Anne who was still holding her daughter-in-law’s hand, while Harry stood, back to the camera, mostly blocking the view of his wife as one hand stroked her hair and the other held her hand. The doctors could be heard saying, “Deep breath” before Y/N took a deep breath in, bringing her legs to her chest with the help of a few nurses that could hardly be seen, bearing down and pushing as the nurses counted and Harry said, “Great job, love. Keep going. You’re so strong.”

The screen went black. A doctor’s voice was heard saying, “One more big push.” Y/N could be heard taking a deep breath, and a little exasperated yelp before gasping from both Harry and Anne followed by the beautiful, gurgling cry of their baby. Harry’s sweet singing voice in the background of the video got louder and finally, the video came back into view of a little name card on the bassinet that read:

Name: P, Styles.

DOB: March 18th

Weight: 6 lbs 12 oz

Height: 20 inches

Time: 8:39 PM

The camera panned down to the top of a blue baby cap with a white embroidered ‘P’ in the center, moving as their son wiggled in his bassinet, the hushed reassuring whispers of his parents heard just behind the camera as little lip-smacking and coos could be heard from the baby.

The screen went blank as the song started to end and white words appeared on the screen.

“Welcome to the world, Baby P. We love you to the ends of the earth.

Love,

Mummy and Daddy”

------------------------------------

Taglist:

@odetostep​ , @thurhomish​

[russian-romanova]

the one that got away

title: the one that got away

pairing: joe goldberg

warnings: adult language, spoilers for season two of ‘you’, very brief mentions of violence 

notes:  joe’s pov. i haven’t gotten anything out there in a while, so here’s this. 

summary: it’s been years since you ran out on your high school boyfriend joe goldberg. now that he’s seen you again, maybe it’s time to find out if your instincts were right. 

+      +      +

There was a part of me that had forgotten about you. I would go months without thinking about you, but then the strangest things would conjure up an image of you or your name would ring in my ears for a moment or two before passing out again. So don’t make the mistake of thinking I forgot about you, Y/N. I never forgot. Not really. 

We dated in high school, which doesn’t mean much at face value. High School relationships are the ones that are the most fragile when boys can’t control their own body parts and girls don’t seem to know the word ‘boundary’. The teen couples that come into Mooney’s are the worst relationships, where they hold hands and kiss every time they turn a corner. It takes all I have not to turn them away.

But we were… different. We were good, and we took it slow. I was quiet and you were sweet, and God, I don’t think I could ever recreate that high I would get when I walked into school and would see you waiting at my locker, reading some book I had given you or eating some breakfast dessert. We didn’t rush anything, we were slow and steady friends more than anything, at least before we kissed. And when we did kiss, it wasn’t bumbling or awkward like teenage kisses should be. It was perfect, Y/N. Like it was meant to be.  

You know why I’m bringing this up. I saw you at some supermarket the other day, in LA. It wasn’t Anavrin or any of those frighteningly strict healthy eating markets. It was just some supermarket I went to in search of some food I had been thinking about, and I saw you in the cereal aisle. You didn’t see me, Y/N, although I wasn’t sure if you would have even recognized me. You had a box of ‘Cinnamon Toast Crunch’ in one hand and a box of whatever the generic brand was in the other. I watched you for a moment, turn the first box over, then the second, before sighing and adding the generic one to your cart. I turned my body so you couldn’t see my face as I waited, only turning once I was sure you had left the aisle the opposite way of me. 

Trust me, Y/N, I almost couldn’t believe my eyes. I had to double-take to even think it was you, and then I ended up staring at you for a full five seconds before I remembered where I even was. A supermarket. In LA. 

Really, the strangest part was that I had been in LA for around a month and hadn’t somehow caught wind of you. Sure, LA’s a big city, perfect for disappearing -- I should know -- but I have a sixth sense for these sorts of things. It helps that I’ve been trying to stay away from you, really, I stopped searching your name on the internet long ago and I’ve been trying to push you out of my mind. 

Still --  I see in you in all of their eyes. Candace. Beck. Love. 

Then you pushed your cart away from me and left behind the corner. I trailed behind you for a while, because how are you supposed to see your high school sweetheart and just forget about it? You picked out black beans and condiments, grabbed crackers and milk. Then you were gone. 

But I knew you were in LA, and that got me through a while. I was distracted at work, distracted with Love. Even Ellie knew something was off, and of course, I couldn’t tell any of them about you, Y/N. I made up some lie about work or the news, but I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I wondered if you shopped every Tuesday afternoon if I would have a chance of seeing you again if I waited there next week. If you saw me first, would you interact? Would you know what I was doing and confront me or would you leave and hope that I didn’t see you? Would you see me at all?

No, I knew that I had to find you before then, preferably someplace where I wouldn’t look like some random creep approaching a pretty girl. I had to do my research. 

I didn’t know whether to be impressed or disappointed when I discovered both an Instagram and a Facebook account that were both private. You were aware of security, at least a little. You had a public twitter account, but nothing you posted on there really pertained to you on a personal level, mostly retweets about characters or politics. 

Roughly three weeks ago, you had retweeted some comedic tweet about the benefits of being single. This was a good sign, Y/N. My expectations were set low, but the more I learned about you, the higher they became. I couldn’t stop thinking about you, about our high school years, and how happy we both were. We could be like that again. 

I was about to give up on the social media scour when I saw an Instagram account linked to your twitter account, completely different from the one I had already stumbled upon. This one was a much vaguer account, with some photos you must have taken, mostly of other people or of aesthetically pleasing nature views or buildings. The photographs that caught my eye the most -- and I’m sure you understand why, Y/N -- were the ones of Farmington Park and the one of a house front. The house numbers were blurred out, but it wasn’t that hard to trace around on Google Earth. I extended the view and followed the roads surrounding Farmington Park, making the assumption that you were near to it judging by the amount of photots you had posted of it, until I found the house that seemed the most familiar, the one that matched up perectly with the photograph. Bingo.

You should be more careful, Y/N. 

✾ ✾ ✾

And so I wait. I see you again, but no longer by accident. I don my jacket and cap, and I wait at the bench near your house -- just a man reading a book, nothing anyone will pay too much attention to. I see you leave your house, which I’m relieved to see you walk out of. I’ve been wrong in the past, and it’s the worst possible feeling I could imagine. But you looked right at me, Y/N. The second day, you walked out of your bright red door and made direct eye contact with me. I have sunglasses on, so I don’t know if you can tell I’m looking back, but you stare at me for a few seconds, and then you move on. I worried you had maybe seen me, but the next day I returned and you didn’t think much of it. 

Tuesdays and Thursdays is when you went to the park. As the sunsets, to get those stereotypical sunset photos, I presume, and you stay until late on Tuesday nights because you have Wednesdays off. It’s abandoned by the time it’s nine pm, the perk of small parks in big cities. So I waited until I was ready, until I thought you would be ready, and then I decided it was time to meet you. 

8:42 on a Tuesday night, and I’ve never been more terrified before. I sit in the grass and watch you as the people slowly go home, watching you on your phone and messing with your camera. I notice for the first time, the green bracelet on your arm, which I recognize instantly, because I gave you that bracelet, Y/N. In high school, for your birthday. I gave it to you years ago, and you still wear it. 

That almost gives me hope.

I had a plan. Once it was empty enough, I took off my hat and sunglasses, and I just sat there. You needed to come to me, to feel comfortable enough to do so. It was going to be an accident that I was here, nothing creepy. Nothing to feed your worries or stresses. I wasn’t a worry, I was a comfort that was reappearing after years and years. 

When you saw me, your froze. You just stood there, unmoving and possibly unbreathing, frozen in a moment either now or in the past, mind racing and heart too fast. I waited for you, patiently. It was hard to not run up to you, to talk to you unprompted. But I had waited this long, I could wait a few minutes more.

Finally, you spoke. “What are you doing here?” 

I looked up, feigning surprise. “Oh my God, Y/N,” I closed my book and stood up, smiling as if I had no idea you still existed. “What are you doing in LA?”

“Cut the bullshit. I saw you the other day. At least, I thought I saw someone that looked just like you, and now I’m pretty fucking sure that was you, Joe. This can’t be happening. This isn’t-” You trailed off, mumbling to yourself. Your were suspitious, but I could work with suspicious. 

“You saw me? Seriously? Where was it?” I laugh as if I’m more confused than you are, still confused and surprised. Keep it up, Joe. Patience. “Why didn’t you-”

“Stop it. You were-” You stopped talking, your eyes widening a little at the absurdity of the situation. “You looked at me, Joe. I know you’re lying, so cut the bullshit. Be honest.”

I think it over for a minute. “I didn’t know if it was actually you or not.” I say, a little bit quieter. I feel like a kid again, and we haven’t even been talking for a minute. 

“Honest,” You repeated. “I’m not new to your games, Joe. Where did you see me first?”

“The bus stop,” I say, maintaining eye contact. You give me your ‘bullshit’ look, and I realize nothing has changed. I almost smile before I remember what’s happening, that I need to work fast and convince you. I can’t lose you again, not now that I’ve found you. “The bus stop,” I reaffirm, before adding. “Nice bracelet.” 

And I’ve changed the subject. 

“I need to go home,” You say, sounding tired and frantic. 

I take a step forward. “Let me walk you,”

“No, Joe.” You say loudly at first, and then repeat it a little softer. 

“Please, Y/N,” I say in a tone that we both know is close to a beg. You look at me with those big fucking eyes and I hope I’m making the same expression back. The puppy dog eyes are something we’ve both mastered. 

“Joe, I don’t love you anymore.” You say suddenly, and you throw your hands out to either side as if that’s it. As if that’s enough to satisfy me and it answers all my questions. 

“Then why are you still wearing the bracelet?” I’m begging you now, pleading with you and I hate my own tone of voice. 

You glance down at it as if you’ve forgotten about it. There’s a pause as you think for a moment, searching for words or for a lie. I’m frozen when I stand. “It’s not because I love you. It’s to remember.” You look up at me again, and your eyes aren’t just big anymore, they’re teary now. A part of me still wants to run to you, to tell you that it’s okay, but I know I can’t. “You killed me, Joe. Or you might as well have. I’m mourning her. I can’t forget her.”

Any act is long gone. We both know what you’re talking about, about all the conversations we had where you had tried to break up with me and I convinced you, about all the looks your had given me when I did something that would send off a red flag. “I didn’t, Y/N. I wouldn’t have. I was so careful with you.” 

You look at me in a way I’ve never seen before. “I hid. I shouldn’t have had to hide. I changed so much about me, about who I was because I was scared you would find me somehow, I don’t know.” You run a distressed hand through your hair.

“Why? Why were you so scared of me, Y/N? I was just some kid in love. I loved you so much. I love you so much.” I take a step towards you.

You match it with one back, putting up a distressed hand. “Stop, Joe. Stop. I’m not doing this, okay? All of these things about you pointed to terror for me and I went with my gut because you hear all of these horror stories about girls and their boyfriends and it was better safe than sorry and-“ You sniff, wiping your nose with the back of your hand. You’re crying and I didn’t even realize it. “And I am sorry, Joe. I really am, but we both know that’s what I needed to do.” And you’re right, Y/N, and it would be a lie to deny it. I didn’t have to do anything to you and you knew who I was. No one has ever understood as well as you. 

I am hurt as you look at me, somehow pained yet strong. “I’m sorry,” Is all I can manage out, and you don’t respond. 

“I need to go home,” You say finally. “You do too, Joe. This is out there now, and we can move on. Okay? Don’t try to find me again.”

“But I can’t forget about you.” I don’t know if I’m making excuses or being honest anymore. For a split second, I think about lunging at you, grabbing you or striking you or something -- but then I remember that this isn’t just anyone. This is you. Candace, Beck, Love, they’re all modelled after you. I think that’s all I’m working for, is you again. Yet I respect you too much to treat you like them, and I love you too much to really let you go. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do anymore. 

“Then don’t,” You look at me with calm eyes. “Then don’t forget about me. It’s better to remember, but to keep it somewhere just out of reach. It’s not like I could forget you, Joe. You were a part of my life,” You admit. “No matter how bad, you can’t forget something like that.” 

And that’s all you need to say. No goodbye, no farewell greeting. You turn and walk away.

And I let you, Y/N. 

For the first time in my life, I watch someone walk away from me, and that’s it. Out of everyone, I hate that it’s you leaving yet I’m happy that we ended it like this. I watch your wrist swing slightly as you walk, the stringy ends of the bracelet swinging along with it. I think of what you said, about remembering, and I know there’s some truth there. I’ve felt it before, the need to remember Candace and Beck long after I had thought they were gone. For them -- and for me.

But as you turned the corner for the final time, something in me pulls at my senses, telling me what I already know is true.  Your words ring in my mind one final time, but I know you’re wrong this once. 

Sometimes, Y/N, it’s better not to remember, but to forget.  

[informationsorter]

How to keep yourself safe from fear mongering and misinformation.

I know there's a lot of fear mongering out there, which feeds on misinformation and the common anxieties of those who have (or suspect they have) a disorder such as DID/OSDD.

The first rule is of course, do not trust anyone on the internet.

This includes me.

Fear mongering is when someone spreads fear and/or terror. Usually with a hidden agenda, but it can also be spread by those who don't know any better and who have been caught up in the fear. If someone is describing a terrifying situation (especially one that starts out seeming fine, but gradually becomes scarier and scarier until it reaches dystopian proportions), it is likely that it is just a fear mongering tactic. An example of fear mongering is "Gay marriage will lead to adults marrying children!". It usually involves multiple steps, which start out with a grain of truth, but twist the facts or use false equivalencies to make it seem as though their worst-case scenario is a real danger. The aim of fear mongering in this example is to convince people to vote against marriage equality. Inspiring fear in a person can also be used to scam that person. How many times have you heard of someone getting an official-sounding phone call which tells them they will be arrested if they don’t send such-and-such amount of money to them, or if they don’t purchase giftcards and give the codes to the scammer on the phone? It is the initial shock and fear which cause a person to fall for these. Fact checking is vital.

Fear mongering.

- Take a moment to overcome your initial emotional response. You need to be able to think clearly and logically when you are confronted with something that shocks and scares you.  - Try to think about their argument/statement rationally and objectively. Is it likely that in this day and age a therapist would illegally force a treatment on you without informing you of all of the facts about that treatment? Would a mental health professional risk a lawsuit and the loss of their licence by refusing to answer your questions about a treatment that they are insisting on? - Check for sources, and it is very important that you not only READ their sources, but also look for other sources by yourself. The source/s supplied by a fear mongerer will often support their statements and seem fairly convincing, but actually contain very little fact. You need to do an independent search for information which supports their claims, and information which contradicts their claims. If there is no truth to their claims, you will struggle to find reputable sources which support it, and are likely to find many that have evidence showing that the claim is false. (There is of course the chance that something is true but does not have sources for it - eg 50 years ago, there may not have been many official sources supporting the idea that being gay is fine, and there would have been many official sources claiming that being gay was a disease.)

Do not take any one person's word as fact.

- Check for reliable sources that back their statements.

- Look for multiple opinions/input, from a variety of sources. It's no good asking 10 people in the same group for their opinions and then taking it as fact if they all agree. If you are searching for information, you need to take everyone's advice/input/opinion with a grain of salt, and seek a wide variety of people to ask.

- If someone claims that such-and-such is the ONLY possible way to experience something, you should look into why they are claiming that, and what reliable sources they have to back it up.

- If something is really a fact, there will be SEVERAL reliable sources discussing it. Not just one source being reblogged or referenced by multiple other sources.

Check sources.

- Look at whether the person is actually linking the direct source of their "facts" or not. If they are simply claiming that such-and-such says this, or vaguely indicating that a certain government or organisation supports their view... That's not good enough. You will have to actually research it yourself and see whether that is the case or not.

- Be cautious if someone has quoted something but does not tell you where the quote comes from.

- Look at the full quote, not just the part that the person has quoted in their post/statement. It can be easy to take things out of context, and make it seem like the source supports a certain view, when in reality it does not.

- Actually open the links if someone is citing them as a source that supports their statement. It's very easy to assume that because someone has cited multiple sources, that those sources are accurate and relevant. But in reality, it would be quite easy to simply link a bunch of random official-sounding URLs, that actually have nothing to do with it.

Check credentials.

- If someone is claiming to be a therapist, scientist, or anyone working in a medical field, you should not believe them unless you are seeing them in a professional capacity IRL.

- You are

ALWAYS

entitled to see the qualifications of someone who is treating you, whether it is your GP or a mental health professional.

- If someone online is claiming to be a trained mental health professional, but is not treating you in an official arrangement, they should not be giving you in-depth advice or diagnosis.

-

A mental health professional should always get to know you and your background before giving you advice. THEY WILL NEVER ATTEMPT TO TREAT YOU OR DIAGNOSE YOU WITHOUT ENTERING INTO A FORMAL PATIENT-THERAPIST ARRANGEMENT.

Seek a trusted person to help you fact check if you are having difficulties.

A lot of sources may contain heavily jargoned text, especially when discussing medical conditions/disorders.

Find someone who you know you can trust, and who is willing to admit when they are mistaken. Ask that person to help you.

DO NOT TRUST ANYONE WHO REFUSES TO ADMIT THEIR MISTAKES.

- Watch out for people using gaslighting tactics, or deleting conflicting opinions from their posts. There are some people out there who insist that they are correct, and will refuse to acknowledge any information which contradicts their statements. These people may use gaslighting techniques to supress anyone who tries to question what they've said.

- Any one who is working from a place of good intent, will be open to looking at reliable sources which contradict their statements.

- Similarly, if anyone tries to convince you that you DON’T need to check their sources, or that you can trust them without them providing sources, THIS IS A RED FLAG.

Is it ok to test someone?

In my opinion, when you are searching for accurate information, it is perfectly acceptable to test someone by asking them something you already know the answer to.

For example, when I went to the endocrinologist to talk about HRT, I asked her my most important question and she responded in a way that didn't match what my doctor had said.

So I tested her by asking a question I KNEW the answer to.

She answered incorrectly, and I knew that I would have to work hard to get accurate information out of her.

Here are some sites to help you fact check.

-

Scholastic.com

has an article aimed at children and teens, which is easy to understand and read. (It was also written by adults trying to use “hip” slang.)

https://choices.scholastic.com/issues/2019-20/120119/howt-to-fact-check-the-internet.html

-

Wikipedia

has a list of fact-checking websites, which may or may not be useful.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_fact-checking_websites

-

Middlebury Libraries

has a short list of non-partisan fact checking sites.

https://middlebury.libguides.com/internet/fact-checking

And finally, I am aware this is a clumsy post, fuelled by an emotional response.

PLEASE reply or reblog with any information, links, tips, guides, etc regarding fact checking or protecting yourself from fear mongering.

**********************************************************************

This post was inspired by

THIS POST,

which builds on a common fear amoung those with DID/OSDD, and drives people away from seeking help, for fear of losing themselves.

**********************************************************************

Here is what you should do

if your therapist is trying to force you into fusion.

If your therapist is trying to trick you into undergoing a treatment without giving you information, or refusing to give you all relevant information - YOU SHOULD LEAVE IMMEDIATELY AND SEEK LEGAL ADVICE.

Here is a bit more information about

possible end goals you may choose

during therapy.