#finch answers

[aslowdeathinpst]

Awsten with a frog!!

with bungleton!! i’m so excited to get my plush of him they’re so :3333

[finchmarie]

I would actually love to hear these thoughts and how Ashley and Lark became besties (if you're up for it obviously)

I saw this and then waited to answer til I had time to do a doodle (that will get fully rendered) cause I'm not a strong writer but I did want to draw about it!!

Here is some info from my HC doc:

Ash is the VS in Lark’s story. From the moment Shepard picks Ash up from Eden Prime the two connect and mesh well. Shepard appreciates her insight and they work together very well even when they butt heads. The pair softens and strengthens each other. Lark envies Ashley’s relationship with her family, as Lark is not nearly as close to her own. While Ash encourages her to reach out and connect with others, despite her fears. Lark in turn softens Ashley’s views on working with aliens and helps her cope with being the sole survivor from Eden Prime, as Shepard has learned to cope with Akuze. There is also plenty of teasing to be had alongside their high level of mutual respect.

[rebouks]

“What’re we doing here?”

Oscar shrugged casually, “Hanging out?”

Robin scoffed with what little joviality he could muster, “Yeah, right…”

Oscar paused and broke eye contact, staring at nothing in particular as Robin waited. It was usually fairly easy to ascertain the direction of a conversation before it even started, given that people tended to rehearse what they’d say beforehand, but not Oscar. His mind was simultaneously blank and fit to burst; he was making it up as he went along most of the time, but that was one of Robin’s favourite things about his father. It paved the way for genuine, on the fly honesty.

“Figured maybe you’d wanna talk-..” Oscar rubbed his temple, “Ask me whatever you want.”

“Really?”

“Yeah-.. within reason.”

“Why’d you do it?” Robin blurted out; his eyes full of unbridled curiosity, though his father wasn’t looking at him.

“Willpower is a finite resource, y’know? I had a shitty day and I caved-.. didn’t really think about it all that much, to be honest.”

“What do you mean?”

Oscar sighed, backtracking slightly as he realised that wasn’t exactly the honesty he was going for. “Well, it’s not that you don’t think about it-.. I thought about not doing it a bunch of times, but the second I decided otherwise, I went on autopilot and got it over with as soon as possible so I wouldn’t have to think about it anymore. Probably because thinking on it too hard is uncomfortable.”

“Where’d you go?”

Robin wouldn’t usually have to ask such a mundane question, but he’d struggled to fill in the blanks for himself. Oscar’s memories of the previous night were fuzzy and his thoughts sprawling.

“There.”

“The bar?”

Oscar nodded, still unable to meet his son’s gaze. “You remember it used to be a vet clinic, right? Your grandma ran it briefly, years ago-.. we lived in the flat above for a little while, when you were a baby.”

“I remember.”

Oscar sounded surprised. “You do?”

“Kinda-.. you’ve told me about it n’ stuff…”

Oscar shrugged a shoulder, supposing that’d make sense.

“You don’t have to feel so ashamed.” Robin ventured.

Oscar almost looked at Robin, though his gaze fell somewhere near his shoulder instead. How could a fourteen-year-old boy conjure such compassion? Such accuracy too. Shame.

Sometimes it felt as though he were talking to a man, not a boy. He was still a child, of course; arguing with his siblings over utter nonsense, playfighting, whinging about school and homework, leaving his dirty socks all over the place-.. but sometimes it felt like he understood much more than he should’ve. Oscar couldn’t imagine many people being so emotionally mature at thirty, never mind half as young.

“Dad…”

“I’m sure I’ll get over it-.. I always assumed I’d relapse at some point, but as the years went by, I guess I got complacent.”

“How’d it start? Like, did you just wake up one morning and realise it was an issue or..?”

Oscar shook his head slightly, running his thumb over his beard in thought. “Nah, it was slower, I just ignored it. I’d always been daft and over the top with stuff like that, partying n’ shit, y’know? It was like a crutch after a while though, and eventually, I needed it just to feel normal-.. went too far to feel nothing.”

Robin opened his mouth to speak, but Oscar wasn’t finished.

“You’ll probably get some stupid cop coming to your scout meetings or your school one day and they’ll stand there n’ tell you all about how drugs and alcohol are terrible or whatever, but it’s bollocks. Sure, they’re bad for you, but they feel good and that’s the problem. At least for me it was-.. is. It shouldn’t even be legal, really, not that it’d do much good if it wasn’t-.. it wouldn’t have stopped me, anyway.”

“I’d love to forbid you from going near it, but I’m sure you’ll all try it for yourselves one day. Maybe it’s just something to do, maybe it makes a boring night more fun, gives you the confidence to do something you’re scared of, talk to someone you’re shy around, I don’t know-.. you might hate it, you might not.”

“You hate that you still like it, don’t you?”

Oscar finally met Robin’s gaze as he nodded. “So much.” He wondered if he was making a mistake, being so open, but it was too late now and Robin had yet to balk or appear uncomfortable. If anything, he seemed concerned and intrigued, glad of the chance to ask whatever he wanted-.. not that he couldn’t usually, but the invitation was clearly welcome all the same.

“All your troubles just melt away, but they’re twice as bad when you wake up and doing it over again doesn’t solve much. It’s not the answer, Robin.”

“I know it’s not.”

Oscar’s frown softened as Robin slid beside him, threading an arm around his waist.

“You prefer being sober though, right?” he asked.

“Ah, that’s a loaded question…” Oscar sighed. “I prefer my life when I’m sober, but maybe a part of me will always crave that oblivion. It’s just something I have to live with.”

“Do you think you’ll do it again?”

“I don’t know, bud-..” Oscar admitted. “I’d like to say no but I don’t think I can make any promises, that’s not how it works.”

Robin nodded understandingly; he would’ve preferred it if his father could’ve made that promise, but a harsh truth was better than a hollow lie.

“They don’t mean much if you don’t keep em.” Oscar added.

“I get it-.. thanks for letting me ask you about it though, I know you’d rather keep it to yourself.”

“You’re still young but I know it’d drive you nuts otherwise. Besides, I don’t want it to feel like a dirty secret we can’t talk about, at least between us-.. might not wanna go telling all your friends your dad’s an alky though…”

Robin buried his face in the crook of Oscar’s shoulder and squeezed him tightly, desperate to convince his father that he didn’t think any less of him.

“Nah, they’re got enough ammunition.”

Oscar couldn’t help but snort at that. “I love you so much.”

“I know-.. I love you too.”

Robin said nothing a while as his father held him - or he held Oscar - only breaking the silence upon feeling his restless thoughts return.

“It’ll be the summer holiday’s soon, maybe we could go camping or something?”

Oscar smiled fondly. “Yeah, that’d be fun…”

Previous // Next

[bluejayadler]

Thoughts on this post?

https://www.tumblr.com/do-be-careful-charles/786662921427206144?source=share

I thought it was fascinating and and fun and would love to hear someone else's thoughts on it.

Parallels!

So I received this ask in my inbox from an anonymous human, and it has given me an excuse to talk about parallels!

Now, the OP mentions Edwin being paralleled with Wilfred, the WWI ghost, and Charles being paralleled with Hope Devlin. But someone in the tags also brings up Crystal with Esther and Niko with Mick. So we're gonna look at all the Core 4 and their parallels.

Parallels are used in narrative and storytelling for a few different reasons. Largely its to compare or contrast two points or things - two parallel scenes might show progression along an arc, two parallel characters might show diverging character arcs or converging character arcs - loss of self of one character, reclamation of identity, the fall, the rise! So many things. 

Edwin to WW1 ghost - this was a fate he could've had, but the sad thing is, that even though he escaped this fate, he really didn't. WWI and WWII battlefields, like most warzones, were described as Hell. Edwin died the year the draft was initiated. Sure, he wasn't old enough yet, but he may have still ended up drafted soon enough. Edwin actual death involved him being sacrificed to Hell - figurative or literal hell, no autonomy or agency in ending up there. Edwin's parallel is essentially a reflection. Also consider that there would've been a good chance he died MIA or ended up buried as an unknown soldier. Edwin may have been lost the No Man's Land and Hell just as easily. He didn't really "escape" this parallel fate but rather endured a more twisted version of it.

Charles to Hope - again, this is a fate Charles could've had but still basically did, in a twisted way. Hope tries to leave home and is murdered before she can. Charles does leave home, off to boarding school, but still ends up murdered. You'd have to wonder if Charles saw Hope and thought, just for a second, "even if she left, nothing would've changed" because, that was the truth for him. He escaped and then didn't. The fact is, either fate would've left him murdered by someone meant to care for him and protect him, someone he was meant to trust. And I don't think Charles would've found any more justice if he'd been killed by his own father. Child abuse is grossly under investigated, and even when it is, is very under-punished. Charles's father may not have received any real punishment, if he got caught at all. If anyone even cared.

I think the big thing for me with the boys and their parallels is that they both still essentially had their fated death! But also, them having their parallel in front of them fits so well with the themes of justice and "we didn't matter". Parallels in story telling serve a few different purposes - usually around comparing and contrasting. Often its holding a character up against an older or younger version of themselves (either literal version of themself or just representative/figurative version) and saying "this is what you could become" or "this is what you could've been". With Charles and Edwin, its oddly both or kinda neither. Sorry, I should be asleep. These are what they could've been and, at the same time, what they could become - Charles could become trapped in a loop of his own pain (and he kinda does) and Edwin could be cursed to forever live through that Hell again (which, again, kinda almost happens). Edwin and Charles both "escaped" that parallel outcome, but not really. 

But their parallel is less about comparison to me, and more about the theme of justice. Again, parallels can be used for different things. In the case of Edwin and Charles, I think it helps highlight a core theme of the show.

Going back to the "we didn't matter" scene (amazing scene) - Edwin says "we didn't matter, so these cases matter. They have to matter." And I think this is what their parallels more play towards. Edwin and Charles come face to face with their parallels, but they are able to give those parallel ghosts something they didn't get - some level of justice or closure. And its not perfect by any shot of the imagination. Charles and Edwin don't PREVENT tragedy, just like no one prevented theirs. Given how against taking a living client Edwin is in ep 1, it's easy to imagine they do it VERY rarely, so unless they are hired by a ghost to save someone, they are coming in AFTER the tragedy occurs. That is also the nature of a detective who usually investigates AFTER the tragedy. The boys aren't preventing their parallels but they are allowing the next part of the story to be different. They see the parallel in their cases, some as strong as Hope and Wilfred, and others as not. But they don't leave their parallel in the same place. They step in - something that wasn't done for them.

And its interesting how they interact with these parallels - or rather, with each others parallels. Charles is the one that steps in with Wilfred. He offers him closure in that moment. And this makes sense for his character - Charles is the more positive one, the more social one. It tracks he'd be the one focused on that while Edwin was focused on leaving before the blue light came. But, Charles is also the one that offers Edwin safety too, the way Edwin offered it to him. Charles, in that moment, becomes to Wilfred what Edwin was for him in the attic - paralleling the moment of his own death and the arrival of his own blue light. In the Devlin house, Charles can't act. He tries but gets stuck in the loop. The same way Edwin was stuck in his loop in Hell - unable to escape the Doll House. Edwin pulls Charles from that loop, by destroying the tape and actually, with the help of Crystal, physically pulling Charles up off the floor. This is paralleled when Charles pulls Edwin out of Hell. Because, the Devlin house, seeing his own parallel and being unable to stop it, would've been figurative Hell for Charles. So, their parallel ghosts aren't even JUST about them separate but them together and their entire afterlife purpose. Its not just "what could've been" but "what can we make it", which is not a common use for parallels, least, not that I can think of.

So yeah, the boys' parallels are AMAZING! But the post I was sent included Crystal paralleled with Esther and Niko with Tragic Mick. So, lets look at that.

Cause, DBDa has a LOT of parallels, which I love. They have scenes that parallel each other and characters that parallel each other, and its fascinating. But focus, focus on just the Core 4.

Crystal and Niko fall more into the traditional comparison type parallels - the younger character paralleled against an older version of themself and "what you could become" motif.

Crystal and Esther - I touched on them a little bit during a previous NGL where someone asked if I thought Crystal was getting through to Esther during the final fight. Crystal and Esther parallel amazingly. They both are women who were wronged - betrayed in some way by people they loved who were meant to love them. They both turned to some power to protect themselves, specifically taking the route of power to keep others from hurting them, even if it meant hurting others first. Esther is the most obvious, but Crystal does this - the mean girl mentality hurting her friends emotionally, giving people nightmares, and the whole making someone walk into traffic! Add to this that both Esther and Crystal get their power from a similar place. I mean, Crystal's is her own, but it is strengthened by her ancestors. A female ancestral source. Esther gets her from Lilith, the first woman and goddess of wronged women. They both turn to this source as some point. And this is where they branch and they do it in a way I enjoy. Because, Crystal doesn't go all the way down the same route as Esther, even though she starts down that path. She stops. Her memories are gone. She doesn't remember being hurt. She knows she has the power to get what she wants and do what she wants. And she does - she helps. She finds Becky. She finds connection! Crystal is lost and alone and could use her powers to take, but instead, she uses them to help. And when she fully reconnects with her ancestors, her first act, is to save others. I like how her's is handled, because she never has an explicit "this is who I could become" moment, which, I've seen a lot of. This idea that either the character or the audience needs to parallel to be explicitly written out for them. But the audience doesn't. We can see Crystal struggling with herself, her past actions and current decisions and how to use her power in a way that helps without hurting, including herself. When she calls on Esther's pain and shares her own, she's calling out that parallel. She had a moment like Esther, and she chose to do better. But she isn't explicitly comparing herself or saying "I don't want to become you." The sentiment and arc are there and the show manages to tell it without having to explicitly write it out. I like this, because this is more real to me. Which, yes, I'm saying "more real" while referring to a sow with ghosts and demons and witches. But, DBDa does an amazing job ay making the characters and the arcs very human. If you think about all the big scenes people talk about - they're all human scenes. Like, human connection. The big scenes are huge set pieces or explosion or huge moments of action. They're focused on the humanity of the characters. And, in our life, we will probably see parallels to ourselves, but we often don't get the chance or have the foresight to think "this is what I could become or what I could've been" - not in a moment where that change it possible. Often, its unseen things and small choices that we make that get us there. We may have the idea someone in our mind, like Crystal, but Crystal didn't change because she looked at Esther. She changed because the let herself care and she found support and connection and wanted to be better than who she was before. Crystal does parallel Esther, and we as the audience get to see what Crystal could've become, but she changed for herself and for the people she came to care about. This is why I love her parallel in the show. 

And now, we have Niko. And Niko gets another fun dual parallel, like the boys, but not exactly. Niko, I think, parallels Tragic Mick very well. Tragic Mick is cursed - living an isolated life, unable to return home. Niko, when we meet her, is just the same. And neither of them chose it. Tragic Mick was "sent away" by his mother, a punishment essentially for wonder. He was curious. He wanted to know about people. But his mother was hurt by them, so she cast him out. Niko was sent away by her mother, who was grieving, and for whatever reason, didn't want Niko there. She was sent away from home, just like Mick. And once gone, her wonder led her to a field of dandelions, where she was infested and "cursed" resulting in her own isolation. Both of them didn't deserve their fate. They didn't actively cause. They were essentially punished for their own curiosity/wonder and more so, for things outside their control (Huh, both got impacted by intergenerational trauma) and had to suffer through the results. Mick remains largely isolated - constantly seeking a way back to what was. Niko ahs her moments of doing the same. She obsesses, for one episode, about getting her father back. But, when the Night Nurse says "you don't want him back like that", Niko accepts it. Its where her parallel branches off. Niko is able to embrace the pain and what comes after. Not entirely. She still ahs to endure it and get through it. But she doesn't remain in isolation. She could! After the sprites were gone, she could've remained in her room, constantly focusing on what was and how to get back to a place that's no longer there. But she doesn't! She moves forward. She finds new connection and new joy. Like Crystal, part of Niko's shift from her parallel is her own action and part is the action of others - which again plays so well into the show's themes of humanity and connection. Niko would've ended up in a tragic fate were it not for Crystal and the boys intervening. But even after their intervention, she still had to make the choices to chance. Like Crystal - the agency gave her the opportunity and support so she could make the change.

And this brings me to the second parallel for Niko - the Principal. Who is Niko. So, maybe not a parallel, but I'm counting it. The Principal is great because she is what Niko becomes - keeping part of her parallel from Tragic Mick in the "you never know when the good you do will come back around" but also having her own path. The Principal is the parallel that happened because Niko found connection and now she continued the work of the agency from a different side - still helping, in some way, in her way. Because we have the Principal, which we know is Niko, while also having Tragic Mick who is Niko's parallel, we oddly enough get a complete parallel storyline! Yes, Crystal has turned off the path that Esther went down, but something could push her back. And the boys, well, they already ARE their parallel. But Niko, we get a glimpse at this more tragic potential future and instead we see what she does become - the Principal. We don't know how she got there, but we know she held pieces of her journey - quoting Mick, pausing at the sight of her name, using her "reading comprehension" to help, being brave and wanting to find closure for others. Niko becomes the Principal, in part, due to her parallel arc with Mick.

The parallels in this show do an amazing job of highlighting the individual characters while also bringing out the overarching themes of the show - humanity, connection, justice, "the good you do", etc.  Thank you so much for the ask! I hadn't considered the Core 4 parallels with other characters before!!! So this was a fun analysis to do when I should've been sleeping.

[through-the-white-noise]

I absolutely adore writing esther + monty's relationship. it's such a fucked up bond that you literally never run out of things to explore.

where did she find him? how are familiars created? had she had any before him? id assume there's magic involved that bonds a witch and their familiar that prevents them from losing one another and allows them to communicate. does monty have traces of esther's magic? is he able to harness it? how long to familiars live? if they're connected to their witches, how long can they live after the witch dies?

had esther taken "donations" from monty before? was he used to sitting on the counter as she took blood or feathers for her potions? when did she start? did she want to get him used to the role of a familiar quite young or did she wait until he was older? was it ever used as punishment? there is so much there.

did he know? did he sit down on the counter prepared to have a feather or two plucked, perhaps a slight pain but nothing he hadn't felt before, of course, and then she tore him apart and there was so much pain that it felt like it was coming from everywhere at once? did he ever see the remnants of his old body?

was he scared, when he looked up at her? when he smiled, because she was smiling at him? he was in this new body that felt so many different things, but he couldn't feel the pain where the needle had dragged twine through his flesh. she didn't see him as anything more than an experiment. when would he realize this?

did she take him clothes shopping? did they break in somewhere? was anything paid for? did she help him, give him suggestions on what to pick out? or did everything come from the back of her closet, from the styles she had long outgrown? did she choose the crow jewelry as a way to remind him of what he really was, or did he find it and want to remind himself? was there any comfort in it?

was she ever proud of him? did she ever think he was doing a good job in fooling the agency? or did she always want him to work quicker, work harder, always putting her plan above everything else?

did she make him queer? is that even something she could have controlled? or did she just tell him to flirt with the boys and it worked out that he was queer? would it have been better if he wasn't? if he hadn't fallen for edwin and hadn't gotten attached?

does he even know what homophobia is? (with the way esther looked two seconds from a hate crime whenever he brought edwin up, id think he has an idea.) but does he know what it means? does he know any terms regarding the queer community? does he even know how he identifies?

did he feel like he could fly again while on the swingset?

why didn't he die when esther did? id think familiars are connected to their witches, to their magic or their lives. were the things esther had done to him so vile that their bond had begun to fray? was he able to find a life for himself that prevented him from dying alongside her?

how does he feel about magic, after everything? would he want to learn? esther had plenty of books, and he taught himself to read. surely he could learn something from them, but would he really want to be involved in that? and what kind of magic would that teach him? does he have esther's magic? would he even want to harness that? would he want to figure out a way to switch between human and crow on his own terms? who would he go to to learn? edwin knows magic, of course, but how awkward would that be? the cat king is a shapeshifter, but a cat and a crow collaborating is a preposterous idea.

would monty want to learn about crows? can he communicate with them, or was he only ever able to speak with esther? crow parents teach their children, but monty's family weren't crows.

I just have so many thoughts about monty and im trying to translate most of them into fic but it's been slow so far. things to think about, I guess. monty deserves so much love and happiness but I will have to angst him first!

[mlobsters]

person of interest s1e7 witness / the matrix (1999)

first time watch liveblogging via gifs part 2 of ?

[nshtn]

Tag game: Six* characters you relate to. Tagged by @twoturtlesinabathtub - thank you!!

Alright then...

Edward Nashton - The Riddler: Year One [Dano Riddler] ▷

"Get up, Edward. 'You matter'? If only you mattered ... ... I wait for a hint of dawn, to know that I've made it through another night... Einstein only took naps - shh, just breathe..."

He's a hacker, lacks a solid sense of self, doesn't know how to socialize and tries and tries and tries again. He's autistic and hyperlexic. Genius boy, "rain man", puzzleking. Edward completes his work and his overtime before a day's clock ticks complete. He is so good at the game of normalcy he has learned to front.

And he is tired of this human duet.

The Orphanage was not kind to him, not on any one of the children for whom it reaped economic benefit for the sake of a drug company; he got away, not unscathed, and his survivor's guilt gnaws at his frontal lobes like disease for every moment work and the numbers don't assault his senses.

Even a worm will turn, and Edward sees himself beneath one. Who else could possibly deserve the ire and impermanence of all he meets? He attempts, blindly, ragefully, to avenge the children whose voices did not carry out of those aching, dope-dropped walls, and in doing so he shatters like glass, irreparable and permanent.

He has always been missing something, but now the wound will not stop bleeding, wide and aching unlike anything.

He does not feel better. He has killed, he has taken back what was owed, meted, balanced - judge, jury, executioner - and he does not feel better. Satisfaction is a thin wick, homicidality sadistic and cloying, saccharin and greedy, exposing him for the breed of broken he has been since he was baptized. There is no mythical moment in which he is made beautiful by God, absolved, crucified in just dessert, wings finally to sprout from his shoulders.

There is no panacea to beautify the bloody viscera he's clawed out of his chest. The sadistic death of what he perceives as tormentors brings him no peace.

There never would've been. Not a meaningful one, anyway.

No way to reunite families with the men he has slaughtered. No way to go back, only forward, now, only to fuel this mania until he is enfeebled by it and returned to Hell.

Killing Falcone would never be enough. He starves. He prowls, and what pound of innocent flesh will allow him rest? The guillotine is an empty hole which hungers and hungers and must be fed lest it takes his head in his next moment of lucidity, in those deep dark hours where The Riddler ebbs and Edward Nashton flows.

I relate to his childhood, emotional detachment, mental and physical illness, struggles with survivor's guilt, and his early adulthood, not the murderer he becomes as The Riddler.

Homura Akemi - Puella Magi Madoka Magica ▷

"I will be enough by myself..." "There’s no one to rely on anymore. There is no need to let anyone understand. I will never let Madoka fight again. I will destroy all the witches myself."

She's cold and calculating (and yet not malicious), lacks a sense of self entirely and starts with very little of one, initially emerges from hospitalization due to chronic illness, descends into pseudo-sociopathy after witnessing others' death inescapably hundreds of times, and is corrupted into a being entirely unlike her nature to be human.

Through all of it, Homura is so deeply, horrifyingly lonely. Her cries for help are primarily done outside the view of others even as her sanity unspools. There is nothing to guide her behavior - machine, unerring, indefinite - but her desire to save her friend. She will try - she has to.

Every failure in this Kaizo Trap only reinforces her need. She must win, because to lose is to lose her humanity.

And when Homura Akemi finally loses that which she values the highest, no fault of her own, she does not lose her desire to protect those she loved.

I relate to her spiral into a complicated sociopathy, her physical illness, immutable drive to exist, survivor's guilt and loneliness, and find her heart beautiful.

Pearl - Steven Universe ▷

"[People] want to feel like they're part of something bigger. They want to blame all the world's problems on some single enemy they can fight instead of a complex network of interrelated forces beyond anyone's control."

Pearl is studious and scholarly, must foster her own sense of self from zero, was born a hybrid of artificial intelligence and Gem with no autonomy, and slowly claws an existence for herself in which she pries beyond the primary emotion of saturating, deep grief.

She becomes independent and secure in herself through trial and tribulation no one being should ever endure. She must break herself entirely to start new. Everyone moves on - everyone changes, everyone changes but her. And how does a robot change, really? How do you change a state machine?

She's just a pearl. It doesn't come natural to her. It doesn't come natural to think for herself beyond what is known, not like everyone else.

Like Pink. Just like Pink, stuck in such all-consuming isolation. Does she want to lose that?

And though she is a pearl, yes - never given the same fair shake as others - she still finds a way to the freedom and security she searches for, deep within herself. She still finds a way to exert her own opinion, to care for others like she had never been cared for.

She has been herself longer than she knows. She has had the kindle to create a grand and encompassing fire for longer than she ever knew what to do with it. And when she finally does... she lets go.

I relate to her literal nature, kinship to machinery, ability to excel past her 'programming', motifs of finding one's self within, deep-seated loneliness, and admire her heart.

tagging: @thehivemindsys @crowofstarlight @residualmanifests @theinkedfoxsl @thisaccountsshit @air-of-the-waterfall

[justsalpals]

Monty, projecting his little heart out: I hate you because you're so fucking fake. Just a smiley little prick who'd rather twist everyone's arms into liking you than spend a second at any of your own issues.

Charles, the subtext flying over his head: yeah. :') alright then.

[ace-and-the-rpg-horrors]

at this point, i've seen multiple people wonder why Monty was bitchy to Charles, when he was probably meant to be getting on everyone's good side so they'd trust him. and to that, i say...

i honestly think he's just stupid.

[addie7]

Can you Draw Finch flirting with Nicky please?

Of course!! I LOVE IT 🩷

I could imagine that every time 😅.

[petvampire]

i feel like waxplay and monty in whichever pairing or grouping or whatever is incredibly interesting (and ill admit i have been thinking about this for months already so when i saw it on the list i was like 👀)

bc when esther first transforms monty into a human one of the steps is that she pours candle wax into what i assume is his open chest cavity as part of the spell, so i imagine him exploring wax play could be a way for him to break through some of the remaining esther-related trauma he might have.

not sure if that angle is the vibe youre looking for but in any case, montwin (+ others? im not picky, you decide) and waxplay pleasee 😇

Um. Yes, thank you, I love this.

Also combining this with @iamafandomfreak ‘s GhostCrow blindfold + wax play request. <3

~

There are very few things Monty remembers about the actual process of being made human the first time. The mind tends to block such things out; he remembers the pain, the panic, but he can’t recall each and every step Esther took to rip his crow body to shreds and build him a new one. That’s a good thing, since if he’d been acutely aware of every part of the spell, he probably would have gone crazy.

It does mean that odd things will trigger flashes of memory, though. Things like the flicker of a candle flame, a trail of wax along the side of a taper making him flinch as his mind flashes back. Searing wax, poured into his open ribs, burning along the inside of his chest. He feels it again for a moment, too vividly.

Charles is the first one to notice his reaction. They’re out at some nice restaurant, he and the girls seated at the table, the lit candles in the center dragging his focus away from whatever Niko was animatedly talking about moments ago. He sucks in a sharp breath, and the ghost lays his hands on his shoulders, brows furrowed in concern. “You all right, mate?”

Monty just shakes his head.

He manages to pull himself back together enough to enjoy the evening, at least on the surface. That flash of memory lingers, though, and when they finally get back to the office, he’s quick to tuck himself into the comforting embrace Charles offers, burying his face against the other’s chest. It’s been a while since he’s gotten so spooked out of nowhere, and all of them are clearly worried.

He explains in as few words as he can, and the outpouring of sympathy from the others soothes his ruffled feathers. Charles runs a hand along his spine, Edwin’s fingers smooth through his hair, and Monty eases back from that momentary fear. By the end of the night, he’s more or less back to normal, ready to just put it behind him. He can just avoid candles if they’re going to freak him out, after all. It’s not like he’s really the candlelight type.

He should know better by now. There’s a thoughtful look in Edwin’s eyes as he bids the crow good night, the look he gets when he’s chewing over a problem, sorting out the best possible solution. Monty should remember that Edwin is not longer willing to let such things pass; they’re all trying to heal from the wounds their pasts have dealt them, and the ghost is quite good at coming up with… unorthodox ways to confront such memories.

So really, he should have known.

~

It’s a unique sort of exposure therapy, to be sure.

Monty is sprawled out naked on his back on Edwin’s bed, a little tense despite the fact that this is hardly unfamiliar. His eyes are covered by a silk blindfold, with the ghost’s reasoning being that his unpleasant memory was stirred by a sight last time. It makes sense, but the crow is still uneasy even without being able to see. He can smell the hint of smoke on the air, knows there are candles burning within reach.

“You sure you’re all right?” Charles’ voice is soft, close, and a little worried still. He agreed to this plan, just as Monty did, because a lot of the time Edwin is adept at figuring out how to break through ugly memories, to replace them with far more pleasant sensations. They both trust him, even if occasionally his genius seems like madness.

The crow nods, trying to convince himself that he can relax. He knows he’s safe with these two, knows Edwin and Charles would never hurt him. They’re not about to tear him apart and remake him, even if they could. “Yeah. Just… do it.” The longer he waits for the inevitable, the more nervous he’ll get, until nerves turn to fear, then to panic.

A hand runs along his chest, and Monty recognizes Edwin’s touch, tenses slightly under it. Despite that momentary flicker of fear that goes through him, the first drips of wax don’t hit the skin of his chest, don’t make him feel like his heart is being wrenched out into the open and coated in liquid agony. Instead, the wax is a dribble of heat along his right bicep, and he jumps, a little squeak of surprise escaping him.

He can’t help but laugh after a moment at his own foolishness, at the sound. It doesn’t even hurt, not really. It’s a weird sensation, but it’s not what he was expecting, not what he had built it up to be in his mind.

“Monty?” Edwin’s voice is careful, and the crow swallows his laughter, though he can’t keep the relieved smile off his lips.

“Fine, I’m… fine. Just not expecting it.” He can almost feel the ghost smirking above him, radiating a sense of faint smugness. Edwin does love to be right.

“I assume you’re better prepared now.” Another stream of wax is dripped along his hip, his thigh, and though Monty doesn’t jolt this time, he does shiver under the sensation of it. With the blindfold, he can relax fully into just feeling. It’s suddenly a lot less intimidating, a lot more freeing.

Charles gets in on the act, and between the two of them, Monty feels like he’s being turned into some kind of waxy art project. The heat on his skin builds and fades by turns, trails of wax drawn across his arms and legs, his stomach, still carefully avoiding his chest. He knows that won’t last forever; it would defeat the purpose of tackling this fear this way.

Still, he finds himself surprised when the wax finally does hit just above his heart, a shock of heat that makes him jerk. At the same time, a pair of warm lips descend on his, soothing him, distracting him. Edwin kisses him slowly, thoroughly, even as more of that wax is trailed in patterns over his chest. Under the pressure of that kiss, it’s hard to be afraid.

He has nothing to be afraid of. Cool fingertips trace the patterns of the wax on his skin, the touches familiar where the trails of heat along his flesh aren’t. He can relax into them, and know he’s purely, completely safe.

He feels his old, visceral fear coalescing in his heart into something he can let go, something he can be free of. Monty breathes in, and releases it, lets the memory fade.

It won’t completely erase his memories of Esther, of being torn apart, remade. But it’s a start.

[aslowdeathinpst]

can I request this dude to be drawn please??

yes ofc !! such a cute little guy :))))) what’s their name ?

[finchmarie]

Spotify wrapped, 39, 67, 92?

39 - Vampire - Dylan Fraser & Alaska Reid

67 - Black Madonna - Cage the Elephant

92 - Naked in Manhattan - Chappell Roan

[rebouks]

Previous // Next

[echoing laughter] Jude: Yeah, well.. at least I’m not scared of water. Levi: I’m not scared, I have a medical condition! Jude: What’s it called, little bitch-itis? [Robin shouldn’t have laughed, especially since Levi had a pretty legitimate reason for being terrified of water; but still; that was a good one] Levi: You can shut up too! Jude: Hurr say something, durr shut up-.. make your mind up. [Robin rolled his eyes and ducked underwater, kicking Jude in the ribs for good measure; they shouldn’t bother] Levi: You just wait until-… Jude: Come n’ get me now if you want-.. oh wait. Coach: Aye, keep running your mouth Moya.. I’m sure your mom won’t have ‘nowt to say about it. [Jude scowled at Levi before turning around, launching as much water as possible in his classmate’s direction] … Levi: Not so tough without your mate, are you? [Robin kicked his locker shut with force enough to rock it; he’d had enough of Levi recently] Levi: Laugh at me again, I dare yo-… [Levi didn’t quite manage to finish his sentence]

[secrettastemakerland]

it's actually the featherington sisters and their golden retriever husbands against the world

[giolovesyousm]

Day 3 of Deadboyween Weeks:

Disguise

I can be whatever you want, whoever you want. I can change my shape to fit yours, as long as you're gonna be my property.

A stolen skin, do you prefer a sharp smile or soft eyes? A cat, a crow, a lover, what really is the difference? What am I under the epidermis, a carnal need you could fulfill; I could twist your mind, I live there, don't I? My memories will haunt you like a nightmare, do you like that?

What lies behind me? You figured. You can call me lonely but you'll never be as long as my remembrances live inside you.

"Leave me" I can't, you're in my possession, the lovely wristlet is my signed custody.

I can be Him if it pleases you enough.