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#finished all of these so reblogging again
tbaluver · 3 days
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Hi...I love your writing so much, Big Fan >_< ♡
Can I ask about what it's like to shower with LNDS men?
Thank U
Showering With Them- The Love And DeepSpace Men
parings in order: Xavier x Reader, Zayne x Reader, Rafayel x Reader, Sylus x Reader genre/ tags: MDNI, 18+, suggestive content. short NSFW is right below the SFW ! (p.s sorry if this format was confusing ! just wanted to add both in this one) a/n: hihi anonnie! thank you for supporting my work i always appreciate it so much ! ♡⸜(˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝ i hope this was okay and that you enjoy reading this and my other future works ! ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡ i dunno but i might make a shower smut after writing these LMAO anyways gonna post another headcanon in a few hours after this (∩˃o˂∩)♡ any likes and reblogs are always appreciated! enjoy!
⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆
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Xavier: (SFW)
More of a shower person than a bath person because there were too many times to count on how many times you saw him asleep in the bathtub.
Almost falls asleep when you massage his scalp with soap as he wraps his hands on your waist to keep balanced. It just felt too relaxing and he couldn't help but flutter his eyes closed
Has a fair share of wash products but he ends up using yours because yours smell better and it smells like you.
He loves it when you clean him, it feels such a safe and intimate space between the two of you. You hum softly as you work gently against his scalp that you lathered. He felt so safe, so warm, in the space that you two created that he eases into the relaxation.
Loves the feeling of you every time he grazes his hands over your body. Obviously he’ll make sure to wash you as well. He’ll make sure that the soap doesn’t get in your eyes. Sometimes the two of you stand and hug, enjoying each other presence, while the water pours over the two of you-until the water gets cold.
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Xavier: (NSFW)
He can't help it. You'll feel his hard-on when he's pressed up behind you. Ruts into you very slowly against your ass as he wraps around you while his hand is planted on your thigh to control the lazy pace. His moans would invade your ear as shaky breaths escape your lips.
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Zayne: (SFW)
Another intimate time for the two of you.
When he’s coming home from work, he’s basically putty in your hands. You didn’t need to ask twice. He would barely have any energy to eat dinner or shower. He’s so touchy when you’re helping him wash him off while he lowly murmurs in your ear ‘thank you’s’
The type of man that would admire your body as he washes you with the body soap and shampoo. He has seen your body many times and has memorized every detail of you. But each time he sees you, it's like discovering you anew again. His eyes trail down as his hands lower, lower, and lower down your body as he washes you with the body soap.
Helps you wash your back and any hard places for you to reach and you do the same for him as well.
When you offer to help him wash his hair, he leans down, and you lather it with extra soap, laughing at how cute he looks. He doesn’t mind this at all, he finds your reaction to be adorable whenever you do this.
When he washes your hair, he is always so gentle. “Close your eyes for me, my love.” He’ll say softly as his hands carefully knead shampoo into your hair before washing it all away. He'll make sure none of it goes into your eyes.
Once you both finish washing, he turns off the shower and steps out to grab your towel. You both dry each other off, making sure every drop of moisture is gone and helps you put on your robe.
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Zayne: (NSFW)
One finger would be rolling on your nipple while the other hand works through your folds. His mouth would be sucking and swirling on your breasts.
He'll use the shower bench to sit and to meet your height to suck on your breasts but will also use that opportunity to let you ride him.
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Rafayel: (SFW)
Takes a long shower and I’m talking hours. He most definitely hogs the water and leaves you cold behind him. Has way too much showering products than you but he’ll definitely share them with you
Jokes aside, he would not stop caressing every inch and curve of your body when he sees you glistening with the water.
Loves to wrap his arms around you from behind. He’ll trail kisses on your shoulder to your ear while whispering how cute you look  before burying his face in the crook of your neck.
Lets you try all his expensive washes and you two would experiment every shower on which is the best
Would tell you to wash him and he loves it when you wash his hair. The way your fingers scrub the shampoo and your nails massaging his scalp, felt like heaven to him. He’ll rest his head on your shoulder as you wash the suds out and he’ll have a content smile resting on his lips.
When the two of you are finished drying up, he'll make sure to pick the best moisturizer for the two of you before you both get dressed
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Rafayel: (NSFW)
Round two. After you both finish having sex in bed or wherever, you’ll find him against you again all naked and wet. His arousal is more heightened in the water. He just needs his pretty girl again after the mess you made on his cock
Loves how the water slides and glistens down between your bodies
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Sylus: (SFW)
The type to say, “Why waste water when we can just shower together.” And I fear he does have a point so that’s why you both shower together often.
He likes to stand behind you most of the time because this allows him to place his chin on your head as the water falls onto the both of you.
He is most definitely going to get handsy using the soapy water. He’ll moves his hand further down to rub your butt and give it a light squeeze
He loves to put the lather of soap on your nose or place a bunch on your hair just to see your reaction. He also finds it amusing to see you try to do the same with him but you can’t because of your height difference. It usually ends up in a bubble war between the two of you.
He helps dries you off first before you help him dry him off. He'll lower his head so you can ruffle the towel on his head.
When it was his turn to wash his hair, he would lean down, a smile curling on his lips as he gazed at your face while you carefully shampoo into his hair
“Sy close your eyes”
“Why would I do that when I want to stare at my pretty girl?”
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Sylus: (NSFW)
You turn him on easily so showering with him feels like he has a permanent hard on. Once you step in the shower, he’ll let you get warm and wet before he starts  rubbing up on you. He just loves the feeling of your bodies pressed against each other, especially since you both are wet.
Pins you against the glass door of the shower and takes you from behind. His right hand finds your breast, squeezing them and pinching your hardening buds in the warm water while his left hand is on the plush of your ass. Sometimes he'll press you up against the wall and have your legs wrapped around him so you don't slip, just let him do all the work as he ruts into you
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yutarot · 2 days
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RIDE OR DIE [l.jn smau]
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genres; f1driver!jeno, fake dating, college au, humor, romance, enemies to lovers
synopsis; you knew very little of jeno lee, but who did? he scared most people and hated the rest. so what happens when you accidentally walk in on him removing his race jacket, identifying him as the famous, faceless f1 driver you and everyone else know under the name samo. do you run around the college telling everyone of his secret? or do you take the opportunity to strike a deal with him, a deal which changes both of your lives, forever. a fake relationship.
TAGLIST; OPEN!
STATUS; starting soon. ??.10.24 - ????
warnings; language, mentions of alcohol/ being drunk, mentions of sex, jenos dad is strict af, blackmailing, lots of jealousy on jenos behalf, major character betrayal (again sorry guys lmaooo), lots of lying (again), the usual cliffhangers and painful suspense (again)
disclaimer; all portrayals of people are fake and from my imagination, in no way am i claiming that they act like this irl
MASTERLIST
profiles 01 — profiles 02
[001]
more tba..
replies, likes and reblogs are all greatly appreciated! feel free to send thoughts in my asks!
NOTES; ahh here it is!!! absolutely cannot wait to start this!! i’ll begin posting once i finish with in perfect sync but pls let me know if you’d like to be added to the taglist, just send a reply or ask and ill add u! hope ur looking forward to this as much as i am !!
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rinnstars · 2 days
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all sides of you!
the five love languages rin shows to you
itoshi rin x reader: fluff, hcs/drabble, not proofread, likes n reblogs are appreciated <3
words of affirmation
- at the beginning, i think hes a lot more averse to saying romantic stuff so its more of in a long term/after months of dating
- mainly leaves sticky notes/passes notes during class/at home with what he wants to say ar rhe beginning
- after a while tho, he’ll try to at least praise you/compliment you irl then slowly tell you he loves you (altho rarely at the beginning)
- has a bunch of scribbled notes he never passed to you all filled with confessions/ things he wants to say that he eventually says at the back of his closet in a box (because he thinks its sentimental)
- a lot better at expressing his feelings and can say them without freaking out internally or stuttering before giving up and calling you a mean nickname to neutralise the compliment
- believes in a speak not tell but he knows communication is key so he’ll try his best so bear with him
- slowburn moment for this but its 100% worth it when he comes home from competition and all he can say is repeatedly whisper i love u into your ear as he pulls you closer into his embrace
physical touch
- again, at first hes a bit touch averse / awkward with hugs/kisses but after a while of dating..
- 100% super clingy esp after coming back from competition/bllk : his hands have to be somewhere on your skin, doesnt matter where hes not picky
- has to sleep with you, hugging you like youre his plushie (drools a little too btw)
- links pinky when you guys walk together doeznt matter where “you’ll get lost” excuse except his entire face goes pink at the touch of your hands
- really likes kissing your neck, he thinks its rlly cute when he can hear you & esp if it leaves a mark :p
- has piggy-backed you before even when youre not lying about your shoes hurting or being tired to be carried by him
- enjoys being babied ngl like he loves it sm when you pepper his face with kisses while he just lies there or when you comb his hair with your fingers: he feels like hes in heaven esp after stressful days
quality time
- tries to see you everyday : either through school/going to yours/his house, dates, or even facetime call
- calls you every night when hes overseas btw and during breaks he’ll try to text you back n reply to your messages
- the type to make up excuses just to hang out with you like “oh i need to get new shoes, come with me” even though he has 2038839 different pairs and then have to huy another one because he cant be caught (you can tell)
- wld go on “study” dates where he just stares at you 3/4 of rhe time and actually doesnt finish any of his “assignments”
- has gone on hangouts where both of you just chill in silence n rlly likes it because theres no pressure to do anything and its kind of calming/relaxing esp after having to deal with teammates n whatnot during work
- wld watch you play games/do anything while he sits beside you, just enjoying your company even if he craves a little more but thats alright by him
acts of service
- lowkey such an act of service guy like even pre-relationship even if he makes excuses for him bc hes trying to be #idgaf
- the type to rush to your home with meds/food/everything if you text him youre sick after missing school
- i feel like. he just kind of enjoys the peacefulness of like cleaning and would do it whenever hes stressed (ignoring the loud music he listens to)
- would bring your necessities sometimes, and ends up at some point lending a hairtie to reo (he has a pack of hair ties bought for you at all times)
- anytime he goes out to get food/on the way home, he’ll always get a portion of what youd like just in case, and doeznt mind just eating it as leftover if you dont want it
- has a notepad on his phone on your favourite orders (drinks, meals, desserts etc)
- if youre forgetful, he’ll text you to remind you : whether that be to attend events/eat lunch at proper times/buy something
- would go back to the store if he didn’t buy what you wanted/if you wanted something else without any hesitation as long as it makes you smile even if he doesn’t admit it
- would learn how to take pictures for you on his own accord : you didn’t even realise until one day you pass him your digicam and suddenly he was an expert photographer compared to just months ago when. you started dating where his hand was blocking the camera
giving gifts
- has a matching necklace with you at all times and its his lucky charm and he’ll 100% kiss it before a game / when he wins the game
- shared wishlist on online stores except he stalks through yours and buys them for you randomly to surprise you
- if you have something spoiled/doesnt work as well, doesnt matter if its a home appliance/jeans that don’t fit etc, he’ll buy one for you without any hesitation when he goes out/on his phone
- gets you trinkets/keychains/stuff that reminds him of you including any sanrio/anime/designs you like / even your favourite food ie. chocolates/candies/chips from different countries he goes to for matches
- would notice if you wore his gifts or not and try to buy more things that you like more ie. if you like silver accessories more, he’ll buy more of those
- even during school days, he would 100% blow his money on arcades if you like to play claw machine/those rhythms games and watch you play and sometimes if you don’t get it, he’ll try to get them after his football training for you and pass it to you as nonchalantly as you can the next day
- always buys matching things: that bracelet he bought you? yup he has an exact pair in his drawers, feels its more meaningful and intimate
- if you ever ask for anything, just know he’s willing to give you that and the whole world and even the whole galaxy
-
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Cool for the Summer 4
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No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.
Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, age gap, power dynamics, cheating, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: After finishing your degree, you return home only to find things aren’t as you left them.
Characters: Bucky Barnes
Note: baby girls, he we go.
As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.
Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.
I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖
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You rinse out the bowl you used for your oatmeal. It’s only as the back door opens that you notice the roar of the mower’s stopped. You put the porcelain in the dishwasher and shut it as you hear footsteps down the hall. It’s almost ten o’clock. 
“Hey, baby girl,” Bucky greets your back as he enters. “I just put fresh water in the hot tub. Might go for a soak myself, try to loosen up these muscles.” 
You face him, “hot tub?” 
“Oh, yeah. Guess that’s new too.” He chuckles. “Another one of my projects.” 
“Right,” you nod. A sudden buzz makes your jump. 
You look around and scurry across the kitchen to grab your phone. It’s a message from your mom. But why would she text you? Can’t she just come downstairs? 
‘Is Bucky still there?’  
You stare at the message and frown. Huh? 
“Everything okay, doll?” Bucky asks. Your eyes flick up. 
“Um, yeah, erm, it’s my mom...” you shake your head. 
“Right, how’s work going for her?” He plants a hand on the counter and leans. 
“Work? It’s her day off,” you blink. 
“Ah, yeah, she said she didn’t want to wake you up when she left. She got called in. Emergency.” He explains. 
You clutch the phone as you stare at him dumbly. Why didn’t he mention that earlier? Well, it’s not on him, you could have checked. But if she’s gone, why is he still here? 
“Don’t spoil the surprise,” he says, “about the lawn.” 
“I won’t,” you look down and text her back. 
“So how about it? You up for a soak?” He asks again. 
“Um, I’ll think about it. Just gonna chat with my mom,” you waggle your phone at him and meander to the door. 
‘Great. You two can get to know each other.’  
Her answer is disappointing. You thought she’d be surprised, maybe confused. It’s all perfectly normal to them. You’re still adjusting. If she’d told you before you got there, it wouldn’t feel so strange. 
At the same time, you don’t want to let her down. You can’t just ignore her message. You have to try but you feel like you haven’t even had time to settle in. And he’s not the only thing that’s different. Your room doesn’t even feel like yours. 
You stand at the bottom of the stairs. You key in a final reply. ‘Ok’. That’s it. A tepid agreement. 
“Hey,” Bucky surprises you again. “Invitation stands,” he wipes his forehead, his bicep bulging as he does, the muscles of his chest straining. “I’m just going to get in my trunks.” 
“Uh, I... I’ll think about it,” you make yourself take a step up and climb steadily, refusing to look back. 
You stare at the phone. You don’t want to be rude. You’re sure there’s a reasonable explanation for why your mother didn’t mention him. You might do the same in her shoes. After so long being single, she was probably just letting it pan out. 
Still, she could have said something when you were on the train. 
Whatever. It’s not your place to complain. You’re still living under her roof, rent-free, after years of tuition on her dime and a lifetime of dependency. You can pretend like this is all okay. 
You go into your room and shut the door behind you. You wouldn’t have a swim suit in the dresser, you didn’t bother to pack it for college. Wherever your other clothes are, it should be there. You just don’t know where that is. 
A tank top and shorts should do the trick. You prefer that to an actual swimsuit. It won’t feel so revealing.  
You take out a hot pink spaghetti strap shirt and a pair of black shorts. You switch out your clothes, catching your foot in the shorts and tripping slightly. You stand up, shirtless, leaning on the vanity as you get your balance.  
You glimpse your reflection and shy away. You tie the string of the shorts and reach for the tank top. You pull it over your head and check yourself in the mirror. It will do. You hope. 
As you come out of the room, another door opens. You peer down the hall as Bucky emerges from your mother’s room. You gulp and flick your eyes away from him. He wears a pair of light blue shorts, so short you might mistake them for briefs. His thick thighs and torso flex with his movement as he approaches, a towel over his shoulder. 
“You changed your mind?” He asks as he comes closer. 
“Erm, well, I... I’ll give it a try. I’ve never really been in a hot tub, so...” You poke your fingertips together nervously. You don’t want to tell him your mother told you to be social. 
“Great, kinda feel like a loser sitting in there by myself. It’s really too bad your mom had to go in.” He sighs. 
Yeah, it is. You wonder why he didn’t mention it sooner. Or why he’s hanging around. You guess you don’t really know how things work around here anymore. 
“Don’t forget a towel,” he winks as he pats the one on his shoulder. “I’ll go get the cover off and you can come hop on in.” 
He brushes by you, his knuckle glancing off you as he does. You shuffle down to the linen closet and take out a towel. You don’t follow him right away. 
Your stomach is a flurry of nerves. It’s just the oatmeal. It always sits like a lump. You didn’t think about that, you were just hungry. 
You go downstairs and drag your feet to the back door. You come out onto the deck and peer around. The tub sits in the deck, installed where the table used to be. It steams as Bucky steps into it. He sighs and groans, muscles clenching up his back and sides. He must work out a lot. 
You look down at yourself. Self-consciousness creeps over you. It’s been a while since you thought so much about it. You tried not to focus much on your body; as long as you liked what you’re wearing, you don’t worry about what’s underneath. You don’t have the most extravagant taste but you have a few cute pieces. 
He lowers himself into the water and lets out another drone. He shifts around to face you but doesn’t seem to notice you as he closes his eyes and leans his head back. He takes a deep breath so his chest puffs out. 
You set your towel next to his on the small table near the edge. You near and stand at the lip of the tub. Can you just sneak away? 
“Hey,” his voice rolls over the bubbling water, “it’s not bad. Come on. It feels great. It’ll loosen you right up.” 
You nod and bite your lip. You get down on your butt before you ease yourself down onto the seat of the tub. The water steams and spits just beneath your shoulders. It is nice though it does raise a thick sheen across your forehead. 
“Mmm, trust me, when you’re mine age, you’ll need one of these,” he smirks. “So,” he stretches his arms around the frame of the tub, “what’s the plan, doll?’ 
“The plan?” You flap your lashes. 
“For the summer? Beach days with the girls? You wanna invite some friends over? You can have the tub to yourself,” he offers. 
“Mm, no, I... I’m looking for work. Uh, probably send out more applications.” You shrug. 
“Looking for a job? Ah, right, no more school, huh? Exciting. You got the whole world in front of you.” 
“Mhm, yeah,” you reach to rub your neck. 
“I’m sure you’ll still have time to hang out with your friends,” he insists. 
“Uh, I don’t... I don’t really have any,” you utter. You look away and stare at the fence. 
“No? Well, all my buddies are too busy for me. I know how you feel.” He says, “you know, we could be friends.” 
“Um, yeah, maybe,” you look at him again as you chew your lip. His eyes snap up from your chest. You look down and try not to show your horror. Your nipples are entirely visible as the pink fabric clings to you. You cross your arms. “You’ll be busy with my mom.” 
“Not all the time,” he says “You know, ever since she got this promotion, she’s been too busy for me.” 
“Ah, erm, I'm sorry.” 
“Why are you sorry?” He asks. 
You shake your head, “I don’t know...” 
“Mm, I know why,” he tilts his head. 
You stare at him in confusion. 
“You know a guy like me shouldn’t be kept waiting around. You’re a sweetheart, aren’t you? You can’t help but feel bad knowing I’m left all on my own. Lonely.” He traces a finger along the edge of the tub as he speaks. 
“I... guess. I don’t... know? I just...” You look away again. You can hardly stand the heat of the water as it boils your blood. 
He snickers and you wince as he shifts around the tub, sliding into the seat next to you. He slips his arm behind you as he does. You shrink down and stare at the deck railing. What is he doing? 
“This is nice, isn’t it? Getting to know each other?” His fingers tickle your shoulder as he crowds you. “You know, seems like we have a lot in common, doesn’t it?” 
“Um, erm,” you squirm in the seat. “I think... maybe... I should...” 
“Relax, it won’t do you any good if you don’t relax,” he girds. “I’m just saying, baby girl, seems like we’re both pretty lonely.” 
He leans back into the hot tub and lets his head fall back. You bend your arm, rubbing your other, and fidget. You want to just go but you’re scared to move. You don’t think you’re really afraid of him, he probably won’t stop you, but you’re just all locked up. 
You sit there, staring through the slats at the green lawn. The water babbles and your ears pulse. He continues to caress your shoulder. 
“Mm, baby girl, come on, just let yourself...” he taps your arm, “lean back, huh?” 
You obey. You lean back into the tub and slide down in the seat, trying to mimic him. Your head hits his arm as you recline. It is nice as the jets shoot up your back. 
“Wait, wait, you gotta get in the right...” he grabs your thigh and drags you towards him. “..place. Make sure you hit all the pressure points.” 
As he moves you, you spasm and cry out in surprise. A jet blows right against your shorts, a stream of water that sends tingles through you. You try to move back but he holds you in place. He squeezes your thigh and kneads. 
“Ah, yeah, baby girl, right there? Doesn’t it feel good?” 
You squeak as the water hits your clit through your thin shorts. You put your hand on his and wiggle. That only makes it more intense. Does he know what’s happening? 
“Please...” you gasp. 
“What did I say? Relax,” he continues to rub his fingertips into your thigh. “You’re all tense, baby girl. Let it go.” 
Your eyes round and you contort, trying to take the pressure off your clit. It doesn’t help. You puff out and grab onto his arm without thinking. He needs to let go. You can feel a throbbing inside of you. It hurts. Please, stop. 
The sensation crests and coils through you. Your muscles clench then release all at once. You squeal in shock and shame as your body twitches. You think you just... orgasmed? 
“Baby girl, what is it?” Bucky leans into you. 
“I...” you heave. “I-- nothing.” 
“Mmm, nothing?” His hand crawls up your leg and over your stomach. He twists and bends his arm, cradling your head and turning you to face him. You shiver as he cups your chest through the wet fabric and runs his thumb over the hard bud beneath. “Cause I think you just came in this nice clean water.” He leans in closer until you feel his breath against your lips, “baby girl, I thought you were going to be good for me?” 
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evanescencelovrr · 2 days
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Part 9! College!simon x reader. Hope yall enjoy—UGH the slowburn is slowburning 🥺 feel free to leave feedback & like/reblog!! Even more motivation.
Masterlist here ✉️
You’d been working the bar for some time now, four days a week. You’ve had some hiccups along the way, trading shifts with Simon when you needed to stay back to study. First, he was firm about it and looked displeased.
He did that usual thousand mile yard stare into your soul.
“Come on, Simon—I’ll do your assignment as a way to pay you back.” You groaned.
“No.” He stood behind the counter, burly arms crossed and lips pressed thinly. He resumed his stoic face. That was exactly why he pulled you to work at this bar—not to do some illegal shit.
You sighed and rubbed at your nose bridge, desperately needing a plan. Then, you perked up, brows raised and looking at him with that twinkle in your eye.
“I’ll fix your jacket.”
“This bloody lass…wot now?” Simon purses his brows, finger tapping impatiently on his elbow. He stared at you, meanwhile the sunset was setting behind you.
“Your jacket? It looks faded and broken. The one that says Lieutenant.” You slowly egged on, hoping he’d catch on.
He stiffened for a moment, eyelids widening for a split second. Then he cast a side glance at his hanging jacket in the closet. It was indeed ripped, buttons hanging loose. He inwardly cursed. Of course you just had go catch on. But curiosity sparked in him—the idea of your hands on his jacket gave him a rush.
So then, he looked at you.
“Bring it back neat n’ pretty, yea?��
That’s how you won. Now, after a long night of studies all you wanted to do was collapse and sleep. But no, instead your fingers worked deftly to fix the buttons hanging off loosely.
His jacket. Now it lay in your arms, spilling into your lap.
It even smelled like him. Musky. Maybe you went too far, but you repaired the leather on it. Only with distilled water did you carefully wipe it down, removing the dirt. Then with some saddle soap—rubbing a rag over it—you worked gently in circles over the leather.
“Cannot believe he has me doin this—“ You grumbled under your breath. Although it was your fault—needing to swap a shift again. Twice. You knew he felt irritated, but you hoped to make up for it by restoring his jacket.
After letting it dry for about 15 minutes, to which you nearly dozed off in bed—your alarm went off.
“Goodness Christ—“
You then got to work. Some youtube tutorial you watched years ago on caring for leather got you here. You owned a leather jacket anyway, red and hidden away in your closet.
“Alright…conditioning it is.”
Shortly after finishing, you managed to fall asleep in the chair, his jacket covering your lap.
——
“Ya done fixed er’?” Simon said, almost at a loss for words when you showed up the next day. His hands that were cleaning the glass now slowed, rag hanging limply. Lips parted in pleasant surprise, brows raised. A scar on his brow shined in the light.
There you were, holding his jacket folded in your arms. The brown leather was as good as new, and shiny. The cracks had faded and the buttons were sewed on.
“There she is. Told ya I’d have it done.” You said with that usual sarcastic tone. Your lip lifted in a smirk.
“Where in the hell d’ya learn t’do sum’ like this?” Simon asked, brow cocked and reaching out to grab his jacket from behind the counter. He sniffed it. It smelled new to which he’d have to drown it in his cologne. Rough fingers traced the soft leather, feeling its weight.
“I just happened to whip it outta my ass when I needed it the most.” You joked, hopping up on the bar stool and perching a hand on your chin.
It was then Simon noticed the bags under your eyes and he hung his jacket on the hook. He returned to glass cleaning, as the bar was quiet for now. It was you and him as Johnny and Price were most likely on the way.
“You didn’t sleep much, did ya?” Simon asked gruffly, eyes flickering to meet your dazed look.
“Studies.”
“So you really were busy—aye?” His eyes did this sudden gleam—and you found yourself staring. A rare look. You moved and put your arm in your lap, tearing your gaze away.
You didn’t want to be caught staring.
“Arabic class. You know how that goes.” You mumbled and sighed, shaking your head.
“Lass, since ya swapped the last few shifts, I needed to give ya’ this.” He then held out your tips from the first shift. Simon remembered the few times he’d try to find you to give it to you—but you were always busy. At a table, cutting up lemons, headphones in your ears, or cleaning the ice maker. And then last shift he heard you swapped.
You watched his movement, then eyed him, sliding the cash into your pocket. You shifted on the bar stool.
He had half a mind to ring your ear for leaving it—but the eye bags suggested he hold his tongue.
“Don’ leave it, yea? Some’ will give ya’ tips, so take it.”
“Got it.” You said, momentarily biting your lip.
Simon caught onto the movement and then shifted his gaze away, chest puffing slightly.
He then cocked his head at the window, light illuminating the hook of his nose and strong jaw. Motorcycles pulled up at the front and laughter ensued.
“Look who’s ere’. Troublemakers.”
“Gotta babysit em.” You joked which earned you—and lately—his wider grin.
You liked it.
——
The bell rung—and suddenly you found yourself spinning around. Another day another shift. Simon stood there, clad in his grey zip up, balaclava, but you recognized his eyes and that gruff tone of his—and boots. A backpack was slung onto his shoulder.
“I need ya’ to cover f’me.” He said lowly, his heavy eyes staring into yours.
Just then, your lip tilted up—amusing how now he was in your position.
Just days ago you begged him, if you remembered correctly.
“Only if ya give me your tips.” You beamed, unable to help to cat like smile.
He furrowed his brows and then leaned in—cologne and musk rising to your nose. His blonde lashes brushed faintly his cheeks, and then lips parted. You could see the scarring from his past so clearly, and now you wondered. What exactly was the training he went under? You knew he was Lieutenant…
But now you hugged your breath in—at his proximity. Your hand stalled from cleaning the glass.
“Lass, you can ave’ my tips. Don’ need em anyway.” He spoke gruffly.
“I—“
“Don’ want ya strugglin’.”
He then moved away instantly and straightened up, clearing his throat. He left no explanation.
You then resumed cleaning the glass, impossibly faster this time as if you’d turn it into a damned cup. Your neck flushed and it spread to your ears.
Simon thought he saw it, only to see you turn away.
“Is tha’ a yes?” He called out, gruffly.
“You got a yes, Cap.”
He then made his way out, bell jingling and boots thudding against the pavement. You watched his back, curious and slightly flustered from the whole scene.
You finger tapped the counter, “Hate to see you go, love to see you walk away.” You gave out a dreamy sigh.
Lately you’d been thinking about him more—and not necessarily in a friendly way. But more so—the way his cologne smelled, the eyes peeking from the balaclava mask, the flex of his biceps. The way his words rung out teasingly, and then some days—grumpy and stone cold when Johnny questioned him.
My god.
You were really getting sucked into him.
You wondered if he even felt that way for you too. Goddamnit. You’re a 27 year old woman, not a teenager. You knew money was tight ever since you moved apartments. This one was slightly above your pay grade—and then again, the old apartment, broken sink and regular gas leaks just wasn’t cutting it anymore.
Remembering his words, that he didn’t want you struggling something warm fluttered in your chest. You shifted slightly, unable to help the flush that deepened.
——
Close to the end of your shift, you and Johnny had been cracking a beer. Well, he did. You? You kicked back to some whiskey. Beer wasn’t your type. You know both sat on kitchen tables, all cleaned off. Johnny’s long legs braced the ground, perched at the edge, beer in one large hand.
“Dinnae think ya’ had it in ya’ handlin’ this job.” He muttered, taking a swig.
“Asshat tried to make a move on me earlier—wasn’t having it.”
He barked out a laugh, cheeks raising. They developed a slight flush from the beer now, and it only made his skin glow.
“Gotta’ show em’ what they shouldna’ mess with. Do what ye’ will.”
You grinned, bashfully looked down at your glass. Your finger tapped the side, seeing the whiskey sway a bit form your movement.
“I told him to get a pussy that can take a pounding or two.”
At that, Johnny bursted out laughing. His hand slapped his thigh, and you joined in, chest rumbling. Your head tipped back as you finished the last of your whiskey, hearing him howl.
“Goodness—lass. Remind me t’never bother ya.”
Thud.
Just then, the door swung open revealing Simon. He went behind the counter, back facing you.
You stiffened up, sensing something wasn’t right. You kept your eyes trained on his back, seeing his shoulders were tense and movements—half a second scurrying to punch numbers in the calculator.
Johnny watched, although not surprised or shocked at all. He’d gotten used to see his mate like this. But you—oh that would be entertaining to watch. So he sat, sipping his beer and eyes wide.
“Simon?” You got up and approached, resting your glass near Johnny who fished it and placed it in the sink. You emerged out the kitchen archway and into the bar. When he turned, your breath caught and your hand involuntarily flew to his arm.
Johnny couldn’t help the long glances as if this were some telenovela.
“What the hell—“ You hissed.
“Is’ nothin.’” He’d say flatly, cutting you off. He was sporting a black eye, lip busted. It looked nasty. The cut looked fresh, although not bleeding anymore. His lip was swollen from the hit, and knuckles grazed red. His clothes were wrinkled and shifted off his broad form slightly.
“You can’t just say that and not explain.” You said stiffly, arms crossed and glaring up at him. You were adamant, and defiant. And if he wanted to play this game of hide and seek—you’d find the truth eventually.
But Simon knew better now than to hide from you. He scratched at his neck with an arm raised. He initially didn’t want to worry you, but now—the plan went to shit.
So his eyes slowly followed yours as you assessed the rest of him. He couldn’t fight the sly grin that pulled on his lips, lips aching and all. He was Lieutenant after all, and after years of combat, training, near death experience, he’d never seen a lass so wound up over a black eye and scratch.
“Ya know I’ve andled’ worse.” He said with less of a bite this time.
You shook your head and out the corner of your eye saw Johnny leaned against the crate, smiling widely.
“You can’t leave it like that. What. Happened.” You repeated again, this time enunciating it. You walked to the back of the bar, past Johnny who sent Simon a wink.
Simon—just in time sent him a glare to shut him up, then returned to you, eyes softened just slightly. He perked up when he saw the first aid kit you brought out and nearly stifled a laugh. He found it endearing in a way—how you got all pissy and frantic over some scratch.
“Aye, the brute fought wih’ sum’ rascals is what.” Johnny said. You glanced at the Scottish man, shaking your head scoldingly at Simon. You dragged him to sit him down on the kitchen table edge, brows furrowed in thought—and irritation.
“Aye, ya’ heard the man. Few rascals were gettin’ feisty with the store manager. One of em pinned me.” Simon muttered, rolling his eyes. He could’ve fought better—but sleep deprivation made him lose his touch.
“One of em? Lieutenant, ya’ losing it?” Johnny said, cocking a brow amused and half concerned. “Is’ all tha’ damned Geek gettin’ to ya’.”
“Greek.” Simon corrected, although not necessarily caring.
Meanwhile, you got an ice pack, and squeezed it. A pop was heard and you grabbed his larger hand, placing it in his hand. Simon glanced where your hands touched, feeling sparks shoot up. He was hunched, the other hand resting on his knee, shoulder angled. He raised the icepack to his eye.
“I ain’t losin’ it. Jus’ went easy on em’ is all.” He gruffly said.
Johnny snickered and you moved to his lips, placing a small bandaid on it. It was a hello kitty one.
When he saw it, he glared at you. Brows slashed down, displeased. A pinch between the brows—and eyes narrowing.
You couldn’t fight the grin. “Sorry. Its all we had.”
“Ahh. Ya see. Knew this woulda’ happened.” Johnny grinned mischievously, so you put two and two together.
You scoffed and then moved back, eyeing Simon who never removed his eyes from you. You held your breath at the sight of his darkened gaze, something dark in them. Why was he staring like that? You thought.
“I look pretty now, is tha’ it?” His voice rung out, deep and smooth.
Johnny finished his beer, washing up your glass. He turned his back to you both.
You shifted, then gave out a quick reply. “You look like you belong in a tea session with hello kitty.”
Johnny bursted out laughing, shaking his head as he scrubbed the glass. “Lassie—you really makin’ me piss my pants tonight.”
Simon then got up, arm brushing yours to walk past. You followed with your head—then walked behind him, leaning on the archway of the kitchen entrance.
Simon began wiping down the bar counter.
You didn’t say a word, but eventually spun to face Johnny who was as red as a tomato. He couldn’t help his massive shit eating grin, standing behind you.
When he muttered you smelled the beer on him. “Dinnae tell Lieutenant, but I may ave’ put the hello kitty bandaids in it.”
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strvberrydoll · 1 day
Text
CRIMSON TRAILS | Running Gun
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Pairing: John Marston x F!Reader CW: mentions of past abuse, animal death, gun fight, period typical violence, injuries, blood loss, needles, in my mind John is 6’0 ok?? let me dream. WC: 7k A/N: and the story begins!! im giggling posting this eheh took me longer than expected to finish the chapter ‘cause i needed it to be impeccable. It’s nowhere near perfect but i fear my brain will melt if I look a second more at its google doc. As always let me know what you think and if you’d like to see more. Likes, reblogs and comments are highly suggested so I know what’s going on in your minds. Also! let me know if you want to be in the taglist
series masterlist | masterlist I AO3 link
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The house always felt colder at night. Its long, empty hallways stretched out like an intricate maze, darkened by shadows that seemed to dance and twist with each flicker of candlelight. You had grown used to the chill that clung to your skin, used to the hollow feeling that echoed through the grand, oppressive mansion. The silence was suffocating, broken only by the distant tick of the grandfather clock at the end of the hall and the occasional clink of glass coming from the dining room downstairs.
You couldn’t sleep, like most nights, and wandered the corridors alone. Your little bare feet were silent against the polished floors as you wandered the empty corridors. Thankfully the second floor was empty, as all the maids were now occupied with a business party your father was hosting downstairs.
Not that it mattered, the maids barely looked at you anymore, and when they did, their eyes were sharp, filled with disdain. You heard them sometimes, whispering about you—how you were a burden, something unwanted. "The little ghost," they’d often call you, mocking how quiet and small you were. But it was the way your father looked at you that hurt most. Like you were the cause of everything wrong in his world. Like you had stolen something precious from him the day you were born.
Your chest tightened at the thought of him, and instinctively, your feet carried you toward the only place you ever felt safe.
A faint, warm glow spilled from beneath your brother’s door, a welcome contrast to the darkness of the house. You didn’t want to bother him, but you needed him. You always needed him. He was the only one who actually saw you, who cared for you in a world that seemed determined to treat you like a ghost and push you far away.
With a soft push, the door creaked open, revealing your brother, sitting on the edge of his bed. He was hunched over something, his dark hair messy from a long day. With the candlelight contrasting his frowning expression, he looked older than his sixteen years, but his eyes lit up when they met yours.
“Hey, Birdie,” he greeted, his warm voice chirped, though you could hear the exhaustion beneath it. “Can’t sleep again?”
You shook your head side to side and stepped into the room. The familiar scent of freshly washed bed sheets contrasted his usual scent of hay and tobacco wrapping around you like a blanket. He always smelled like the outdoors, like freedom. The kind of freedom that Governess Constance, the only person in that house aside from your brother that treated you like you were supposed to treat an eight years old kid, would read to you in one of your goodnight books.
“Come on then, sit here with me,” he said, patting the bed beside him. His voice was gentle, and as always, it soothed the growing ache in your chest. You scrambled up onto the bed, crossing your legs as you sat next to him.
On his lap was something wrapped in a soft cloth, the fabric fraying at the edges. He was working on it, carefully running a strange stone over the surface with long, practiced strokes. You watched in silence, following his every move with big curious eyes. The steady rhythm of the blade against the stone hypnotic.
“What’s that Isa?” You asked after a moment, your voice barely a whisper as you hugged one of his cushions.
Isaiah—your brother—hesitated, glancing at you from the corner of his eye before slowly unwrapping the cloth completely. Your breath caught in your throat as the object inside was revealed—a dagger. Not just any dagger, but a beautiful, intricately crafted one. The hilt was white adorned with swirling patterns with silver detailings, the blade gleamed in the candlelight, sharp and polished to perfection. A dangerous beauty.
“It’s for you,” he said quietly, holding it out for you to take.
Your eyes widened in disbelief. “For me?” you asked, your small hands trembling as you reached for it. The material of the hilt was cooler against your skin, the weight of the dagger much heavier than it looked. “W-why are you giving me this?”
He sighed, running a hand through his tangled hair, avoiding your gaze for a moment before putting one arm on your shoulder in a sideways embrace. “Because I can’t always protect you,” he said softly, the sadness in his voice startling you. He looked back at you then, his eyes shadowed with something you didn’t quite understand. “I’m not gonna be here much longer, Birdie.”
The words hit you like a punch much more painful than your father’s drunken beatings, knocking the air from your lungs. You stared up at him, your heart pounding in your chest. “What do you mean?” Your voice cracked, tears started to pool in your eyes and the dagger trembled in your hands. He didn’t respond and looked down.
“No,” you whispered, shaking your head in denial. “You can’t. Y-you can’t leave me. You p-promised you’d stay. You promised!” the weight of the situation made your stutter come back. Your training with Miss Constance to tone it down out of the window in this moment.
“I know,” he said, his voice breaking with the weight of the lie. “I know I did.” He reached out, his rough hand cupping your small face, brushing away the tear that slipped down your cheek. “But this family? This life? It’s killing me. And I don’t want to end up broken like him.”
Your chest felt tight, like you couldn’t breathe. The room spun around you, and all you could focus on was the weight of the dagger in your lap, the one thing that felt real. You clutched it tighter, trying to ground yourself, trying to keep him here with you.
“But you’re a-all I hav-h-have,” you whispered, your voice breaking. “What am I supposed to do without y-you?”
Isaiah pulled you into a fierce hug, his arms wrapping around your small frame. You buried your face in his chest, breathing in the scent of him, trying to memorize it. “Oh, my sweet, sweet sister, you’re gonna be alright,” he whispered into your hair, his voice thick with emotion. “You’re stronger than you think. And one day, when the time comes, you’ll use that dagger. You’ll protect yourself.”
Your tears soaked into his shirt, heavy sobs shaking your entire body. You didn’t want him to leave. He was the only one who cared, the only one who made you feel like you were more than just a shadow in your father’s house.
“Promise me you’ll come back,” you whispered, your voice muffled against the fabric of his shirt. “Promise me.”
He pulled back, placing a soft kiss on your forehead. “I’ll come back for you, little Birdie,” he said, but there was something hollow in his voice. You nodded, swallowing the lump in your throat. “You better.”
He smiled then, a small, sad smile. His eyes looked down at an identical set that was looking up at him, and for a moment, it was just the two of you. Two siblings, bound together in a world that had been cruel to them both since their birth. You wanted to hold onto him forever, to keep him from slipping away, but deep down, you knew you couldn’t. He was too restless, too wild for the cage your father had built around you.
In the morning, his room was empty. His bed was cold. A deep voice boomed through the halls calling his name, and then—
You jolted awake, your breathing unheaven as the remnants of the dream clung to your mind like a fog refusing to lift. Your heart pounded loudly in your ears, and for a moment, you thought you could still feel your brother’s arms tight around you, hear his voice whispering sweet promises he’d never keep. You laid there, staring up at the canvas roof of your tent, blinking against the bright light of the morning sun that filtered through the holes in the fabric.
You sat up slowly, rubbing your tired eyes, trying to shake off the memories that had followed you out of sleep. But they lingered, like the heavy, humid air that surrounded you.
Your hand drifted beneath your makeshift pillow, where his dagger laid sheathed. The leather now worn and cracked with age. You reached out and ran your fingers over it, the familiar pattern in the hilt soothing you like one of Miss Constance’s lullabies. It was the only part of him you had left, the only piece of your old haunted life that still mattered.
Your brother had told you you’d need it one day.
He’d been right.
But as much as you liked to extract yourself from reality and go to the comfort of your memories there was no time to dwell on the past. The present had demands of its own. The sun was already high in the sky, and the dry heat of October had begun to seep into the air of West Elizabeth, even though summer should have been a distant memory by now. It was unusual for the weather to be so hot this time of year, but the West had always been unpredictable. Today was no different. The earth around you was baked and dry, the sparse yellow grass crackling under your boots, and the few trees that shielded your camp offered little cover from the relentless sun.
You sighed and pushed yourself up to your feet, dusting off your floor length red skirt, stretching the stiffness from your limbs. Your camp, hidden in the Great Plains just outside of town, was modest—a second hand tent, a few basic supplies scattered around the campfire and your horse hitched on a nearby tree. It wasn’t much, but it kept you out of sight and away from trouble. Most of the time, anyway.
You washed your face, water splashing away the last remains of sleep and made a mental note to soon refill your bucket. As you prepared your coffee, your thoughts drifted back to your brother, to that final night you’d spent together. You wondered what he’d think of you now. A wanted woman. An outlaw, just like him. Though you doubted he’d wanted that for you.
But choices have consequences and your consequences, for better or for worse, led you to this life.
Finishing your coffee you put out the small fire as best as you could. You approached your horse Willow—a beautiful Ardennes with strawberry roan you managed to steal away from home. She nickered softly as you approached and gave her a gentle pat on the neck before slipping the saddle onto her strong back. You had errands to run today, groceries to buy and supplies to collect. The trip into Blackwater made you uneasy every time, but it couldn’t be helped. You needed to eat, and there were only so many supplies you could steal without drawing attention to yourself. So far, you’d been careful. You’d kept your head low, using a fake name, and stayed out of sight.
But Blackwater was dangerous territory. Given that it was the second largest town in the untamed west, the law had eyes everywhere, and bounty hunters passed through the town circling like vultures over dead meat.
Your wanted posters had been plastered all over the North East American regions. The first months after the day that sealed your fate you found the paper manifesto in a town nearby where you grew up. The paper inked with some vague artist’s rendering of your face and beneath your portrait written in all capitals was your name with a 500$ reward for whoever caught you, preferably alive. The portrait didn’t resemble you enough to get you caught. Yet, you decided to completely flee the region, finding yourself wandering in the famous uncivilized west.
Mounting your horse you steered her out of the camp, the town of Blackwater looming in the distance. The ride into town was quiet, the road dusty and empty save for the occasional wagon passing in the distance. The heat was oppressive, the sun beating down on your head, making sweat bead on your forehead. By the time you reached the outskirts of town, your shirt clung to your skin, the dry dusty wind doing little to cool you off.
Blackwater was bustling with life by the time you arrived. The town had grown over the months you spent in the region, more folk moving in, more buildings popping up along the main street. Wagons creaked along the dirt roads, horses snorted, and people moved about their business with the kind of hurried energy that only came with trying to escape the midday heat. You kept your head low, as you guided your horse down the main street.
“Cornwall City Railway expanding ever more with rumors of the works coming to Blackwater. Come and read more Ladies and Gents!”
The newspaper seller shouted as you dismounted outside the general store and tied your horse to the nearest hitching post. Your eyes scanned the street for any signs of trouble, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary, just folks living their lives as usual. For a brief moment, you let yourself relax.
Inside the general store, the cool air offered a momentary relief from the unforgiving heat outside. You greeted the shopkeeper and moved through the aisles quickly, picking up fruits, canned good, coffee, and a few other essentials for camp. The shopkeeper, an older man with a long thick beard, barely looked at you as you placed the goods on the counter.
"That all?" he asked, his voice disinterested as he bagged your items. So much for customer service.
You nodded, sliding a few bills across the counter. He took them without a word, and you turned on your heel, leaving the store as quickly as you’d entered. The exchange was quick, with no questions, no lingering looks, you wondered if that was for the best. You stowed your items on Willow's back, gifting her an apple before resuming your chores.
Your next stop was the post office.
As you entered the wooden building you were met with a couple of empty benches, the wooden building almost empty save for the post office clerk and another man. The post office clerk, a tired-looking man with silver thinning hair, was shuffling through a stack of letters when you approached the counter.
“I’ve got a parcel,” you said, your voice calm and steady.
The post clerk barely looked up. “Name?” he asked, his fingers still rifling through the letters.
“Deliah Hill,” you replied. Your fake alias coming out of your lips like second nature. The man shuffled to the shelf behind him, after a few seconds he turned back.
“Nope, no letters or parcels under that name.”
You shifted on your feet. Biting the inside of your cheeks you pondered on your options. Could she have used your real name to send you your parcel?
You looked around, the post office was deserted enough. With a sigh, you asked the man to search under your real name. Years passed from the last time you used that name. The moment your name left your mouth, you felt a shift in the room. A chill ran down your spine despite the heat. The clerk’s eyes narrowed ever so slightly as he looked at you before going to retrieve your parcel. For a moment, the world outside seemed to fade away, leaving only the pounding of your heart in your ears.
The post office clerk handed you the parcel. “Thank you,” you said, your voice steady despite the panic rising inside you.
You turned to exit the building and behind you, someone shifted—a man, leaning against the wall by the door. You could feel his eyes on you now, sharp and calculating. Recognition flickered across his expression, and a slow, dangerous smile curled at the corner of his lips.
Bounty hunter.
You kept your face neutral, your fingers twitching closer toward the dagger on your belt. Your steps were slow as you walked out of the post office, the weight of the man’s gaze heavy on your body. You could feel it, the way his eyes followed your every movement, like a predator stalking its prey. The moment the sun kissed your skin you wasted no time. You stalked down the street towards your horse when a man bumped into you making you almost lose balance.
“I’m so sorry, Sir” you quickly apologized. He stared down at you from under his tall hat with pensive eyes and a stretched smile under his thick mustache. He was dressed in a two piece black suit, definitely too warm for the weather. “Where wolves prowl, ravens follow.” he said and gave you a last glance before continuing his path. What a strange man.
You shook your head and mounted your horse, hands steady despite the adrenaline flooding your veins.
Don’t run. Act normal. Keep calm.
As you rode down the street, the hot air seemed to thicken with tension. Your heart raced in your chest as you prayed he wouldn’t follow you. Willow’s hooves kicked up dust as she made her way toward the edge of town, your mind racing with possibilities trying to form an escape plan and get back safely to camp. If you could make it to the woods, you’d have a chance to disappear and take a shortcut to camp. He wouldn’t follow you there. Not without backup.
But as the last building passed you by on the outskirts of Blackwater, all your hopes vanished. A shout boomed in the air.
“Hey you! Stop right there!”
Your pulse spiked, and you kicked your horse into a gallop, dirt flying up behind you as the sound of hoofbeats thundered from behind. You didn’t need to look back to know what was happening. The hunter had been waiting for you.
Judging by the sounds of hooves on the dirt there were three, maybe four of them. Their shouts grew louder as they gave chase. You risked a glance over your shoulder, your heart pounding harder as your eyes spotted them—three middle aged men with rifles strapped across their backs and pistols in their hands, their eyes hungry with the promise of a reward.
One of them fired a shot, the crack of the gun slicing through the air. The bullet whizzed so close you could feel the heat of it landed on your side. You cursed under your breath and leaned low over your horse, urging it to go faster.
The woods weren’t far now, but the hunters were closing in, their shouts carrying over the wind like hyenas laughing at their prey.
They weren’t going to stop. Not until they had what they wanted, and that unfortunately was you.
The air seemed to shimmer with heat, dust kicking up in a haze covering the surrounding area as your horse rode across the dry, cracked earth. The world around you blurred, but your mind was sharp, every instinct screaming at you to ride faster, to outrun them. Your heart hammered in your chest, its pulse loud in your ears.
“Come on, lady,” you whispered to your horse, digging your heels into her sides as you urged the animal to go faster, gaining back a strained neigh from Willow. The woods were close now, the trees loomed ahead like a dark sanctuary, the thick branches of the trees casting long shadows over the dusty trail. If you could make it there, you could lose them. You could be free.
But the bounty hunters were relentless.
You looked back at them once more. A man with a scar running down his cheek, leveled his rifle and aimed. The sharp crack of his gunshot echoed in the air. You turned to look ahead of you, squeezing the reigns in your hand in anticipation, and then you felt it—a jolt beneath you as your horse staggered.
“No!” you screamed, your heart plummeting.
Willow let out a terrible, guttural cry, her body lurching forward as her legs buckled for a moment. Blood spurted from her side where the bullet had hit, staining her coat. But she regained control and kept running, her strong legs carrying forward, even as the wound drained the life from her with every step she took. You felt tears sting your eyes as you urged your horse onward, knowing the animal was running on sheer survival instinct alone.
“Ardennes are war horses, they might not run like Arabians but they’re strong,” Mister Anderson, your riding instructor once told you.
“Can you teach me how to ride one?” You were met with a bitter laugh, one you were far too accustomed to. He wasn’t laughing with you, but at you. You knew that it was near impossible for a thirteen years old girl to control such an animal but there was no harm in trying. You felt anger bubbling up in your body as you eyed your father’s Ardennes.
“Just a little more,” You whispered, your voice strained with desperation. “Just a little more then we’re safe.”
The woods closed in around you, the thick trees swallowing you whole as you crossed into the shade. The bounty hunters' shouts grew more distant, their voices muffled by the forest, but you knew they wouldn’t stop. Not yet. You could still hear them faintly, calling out your name, their taunts carrying through the trees like a ghostly echo.
“Come on out, girl! We’ll make it quick if you give up now!”
“You can’t run forever!” another voice shouted.
But you weren’t listening anymore. Your mind was solely focused on your horse, your only friend, who had carried you through so much, and who had never once let you down. The mare’s breathing was ragged now, each step slower, more labored than the last. Blood dripped hot from her side, staining the dry grass beneath you, second after second you could feel the horse’s strength fading.
The horse collapsed to her knees, unable to carry on. She let out a weak, broken cry as her legs gave out beneath her, sending you tumbling from your saddle into the dirt. You quickly scrambled to your feet, your breath catching in your throat as you rushed to her side.
“Willow! No, no!” you shouted, kneeling beside the mare, your hands trembling as you reached for the horse’s injury. Your hands stained with blood in mere seconds. The animal was breathing heavily, her eyes wide with pain and fear, her chest rising and falling in shallow, uneven breaths. Blood pooled around you both, thick and dark covering the woods’ floor.
You ran a hand over the horse’s coat, your fingers brushing through the mane as tears blurred your vision. “I’m sorry,” you choked out, your voice breaking. “I’m so sorry.”
Willow let out a soft, almost pitiful sound, her head resting heavily in the grass. The horse’s body shuddered, life slowly draining from her eyes, but even now, she was trying to stay strong. It was like she didn’t want to leave you. Like she didn’t want to fail you.
Everything stilled, it was as if you were trapped in a bubble. You didn’t know, or care, where the bounty hunters were, but they were still out there, combing the woods for you. You could hear their voices, faint and taunting, calling your name but none of that mattered in that moment. All you could see was your horse, your loyal friend, dying in your arms. Another life lost because of you.
You pressed your forehead against Willow’s, your tears falling onto her soft, velvety nose. The pain in your chest was overwhelming, a grief so deep it felt like it might burn you from the inside. This horse had been with you through everything—through your escape from the hell that was your home, through lonely nights when you had no one else. And now you were losing her. You were losing the one good thing you had left.
“I’m so sorry,” you whispered again, your voice shaking. It was the only thing you could think of. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.
You pressed a trembling kiss to the mare’s forehead. A last goodbye. “You were brave, girl. You can rest now.”
The horse’s breathing slowed, and as if following your command her body shuddered one last time before she went still. You could feel the life leave her body.
For a long moment, you stayed there, your hands resting on the horse’s neck, caressing her, as if your actions would ease her soul. You wanted to scream, to rage against the world, but there was no time. You snapped back to reality as the voices of the bounty hunters were getting closer now.
You forced yourself to stand, wiping your tear-streaked face with the back of your hand. Your heart ached, but you couldn’t stay. Not if you wanted to survive. The bounty hunters would be here soon, and they’d show no mercy. You had to run.
With one last, heartbroken glance at your horse, you turned and sprinted deeper into the woods, your legs carrying as fast as they could. Your boots thudded against the soft earth, your breathing ragged and uneven as you darted between the trees, your mind racing.
The forest was dense. Branches whipped at your face as you ran, one in particular caught on your skirt, tearing the fabric to your knees. You fell, knees burning from the scratch. Your lungs burned with each breath, but you couldn’t stop. You had to keep going.
Then, through the trees, almost as an apparition you saw it—an old, crumbled wooden cabin, barely visible through the thick underbrush. The wood was weathered and covered in vines, the roof sagging in places, and one of the walls had partially collapsed, leaving a hole covered by some planks big enough to enter in the side of the building. It looked abandoned, forgotten by time. It wasn’t much, but it was something. A place to hide. A place to catch your breath.
Without hesitation, you sprinted toward the cabin, using all the energy left in your body. You could still hear the bounty hunters behind you.
The planks on the side creaked loudly as you pushed them to open the hole, the wood groaning under your weight. Inside, the air was thick with dust and the smell of mold, the floorboards creaking beneath your boots. Cobwebs covered almost every corner of the room, and broken furniture was scattered across the room, but it didn’t matter. You weren't looking for comfort—you were looking for survival.
You put the planks in place and crouched low behind an overturned table near the back of the cabin, your breath coming in shallow gasps as you tried to quiet your racing heart. Your hand rested on the grip of your dagger, your knuckles white. You knew it was nothing against their rifles but at least if they found you, you wouldn’t go down without a fight.
For now, all you could do was wait with your heart heavy with the loss of your horse and your mind focused on staying alive.
The footsteps of the hunters grew louder outside, their voices drawing nearer. You held your breath, your body tense as you listened, praying they wouldn’t find you here.
This cabin was your last chance.
Your pulse pounded in your ears, louder than the whispers of the men searching for you. Then, beneath the irregular sound of your own heartbeat, you felt something else—something sharp and burning.
Your hand drifted to your side, fingers pressing under your ribs. Warm, sticky blood coated your palm. Panic flared in your chest as you realized—one of those bullets they fired didn’t scrape you but had actually hit you. You hadn’t felt it before, the adrenaline masking the pain and pushing you forward. But now as the effect started to die down, pain took its place. A shot, not deep, but dangerous enough. You gritted your teeth, wiping the blood on your torn gown, willing yourself to stay conscious, to stay alert.
You needed to figure out what to do next—escape, hide, something. But then, the cold sensation of the barrel of a gun made contact with the back of your head. You closed your eyes for a second before turning to face your fate.
Fate took the form of a man, no older than twenty-six, lean but muscular, his long dark brown hair falling messily over his sharp features covered by a faint beard. His piercing gaze was cold, focused. You could sense he carried himself with the confidence of someone used to the dangerous weight of a gun in his hand. And there it was—pointed right at you. You looked up at him from your kneeled position, completely at his mercy.
From the shadows, next to the man, another figure stepped forward. The second man was much older, his weathered face marked by lines of age and experience. His silver hair combed back. His eyes, though, were sharp with curiosity as he took in your state. His eyes seemed to look into your soul and that terrified you more than the gun pointed at your head.
You could feel both their eyes on you—taking in the tear-streaked dirt on your cheeks, your disheveled hair, the blood staining your skirt tored from the knees down. But more than anything, their gazes linger on the dagger clenched tightly in your hand, its intricate hilt glinting in the dim light filtering from the cracks of the cabin. Your brother’s dagger.
“Don’t move,” the younger man said, his voice cold and steady, the barrel of his gun unwavering as he clicked its safety off.
Your breath hitched, and without thinking, you raised the dagger in your hand, pointing it toward him in a futile attempt at defense. Not really a wise choice since he had a gun pointed directly at your head, but you were cornered, wounded, and outnumbered. Most of all you were tired.
The older man—his voice smoother, almost soothing—spoke next. “Easy now, no need for more bloodshed.” He stepped closer to the younger man, placing a hand on his arm. “John, calm down.”
John. The name floated in the air as your grip tightened on the dagger, your eyes flicking between the two men. The tension was thick, your body tense, ready to lash out or flee, but the older man kept his gaze on you, caging any movement. His eyes calculating but not unkind.
Outside, you could hear the voice of the bounty hunters calling for you.
“Come on out now! It’ll be easier if you don’t make us drag you out!”
“Miss,” he says softly, eyeing your trembling hand, gripping the dagger like a lifeline. “You're hurt. And from the sound of it, those fellas outside ain't exactly your friends.”
John’s grip on his gun tightened, his eyes flicking toward the door before settling back on you looking you up and down. His gaze piercing. “We can’t trust her, Hosea,” he mutters under his breath. “She could be one of them.”
Hosea didn’t look away from you, though he rolled his eyes at the younger man's sentence. “Does she look like one of them to you?” he asks, his tone calm but with an edge of irritation. His eyes swept over you again, the blood, the tear-streaked face, the bleeding wound on your side. “She’s in no shape to be hunting anyone.”
You have no idea who these men were, but something about the older one’s voice was reassuring, like hot milk and honey on a cold night. But the younger one—John—you couldn’t say the same, his distrust was palpable. Your instinct told you to run, to hide, but the growing footsteps outside told you otherwise. You were trapped.
“You gonna fight off all those men out there with a knife?” Hosea asked, raising an eyebrow. “Or would you rather come with us?” At his proposition the younger man lowered his gun in disbelief, eyeing the older man with fury.
You swallowed hard, feeling the blood drip from your side, the sharp sting of your wound biting deeper making your thoughts hazy. You’ve always been alone, fending for yourself, trusting no one. But here, now it wasn’t a choice between trust or caution. It was life or death.
“I—” you started, but the sound of boots crunching outside the cabin silenced you.
You felt your heart almost beating out your chest. Run or fight? Die here cornered like an animal or continue to fight. Who were these two strangers, could you even trust these men? Why were they willing to help a wanted woman? Your mind struggled to come up with an explanation and under the exhaustion you gave in.
“I’ll come with you,” you muttered, lowering the dagger, your fingers numb from the tight grip you’d held onto it with.
John scoffed. “You sure about this, Hosea?”
Hosea nodded, a smile tugging at his lips. “Oh, I think she’ll be more use to us alive than dead.” He outstretched a hand towards you, helping you up on your feet. “Let’s go, before those boys outside kick the door down.”
Without another word, Hosea moved toward the side of the cabin, looking outside before gesturing for you to follow. John, still glaring at you, holstered his gun but kept one hand hovering near his hip, ready to draw at any sign of trouble from you.
You slipped out, moving quickly and quietly through the dense underbrush. Your side burning with every step, and the world seems to tilt dangerously, your vision blurring as you stumbled after them. The sounds of the bounty hunters behind you fade as you made your way deeper into the forest, but your legs started to grow weaker, your strength fading with every drop of blood you lost.
Hosea led the way, his steps sure and practiced, while John brought up the rear, gun ready in his hand and eyes darting around as if he expected an ambush at any moment. They moved fast, and you could barely keep up. Your head spun, your breathing labored as the last remains of adrenaline slowly ebbed away, leaving only the raw, gnawing pain storming in your body.
“I’m not your enemy,” you hissed through gritted teeth, as you felt John’s eyes studying you. The effort of speaking sent a sharp, stabbing pain through your side.
“But you sure as hell ain’t acting like a friend either.” He replied, his tone harsh. He took a step closer, his gun never leaving his hand. “And from where I’m standing, you’re more trouble to us than you’re worth.”
Your blood boiled at his words, and despite the dizziness creeping in around the edges of your vision, you lifted your chin, his height making you glare up at him “You don’t know a damn thing about me,” you spat, your voice shaking with the weight of your fury and exhaustion. “If I was trouble, you’d already be dead.”
John’s lips curl into a smirk, but there’s no warmth in it. “Is that so? You’re half-dead on your feet, bleeding all over the place, and you think you’re in any shape to make threats?”
“I can handle myself.”
“Yeah? Doesn’t look like it.”
The sound of Hosea’s voice urging you two to move along snapped you out of your staring contest with the man.
After some more walking you reached a small clearing, in the distance you could see two horses tethered to a tree, a large black morgan snorting impatiently and a silver turkoman with various pelts on his back. You stopped in front of the horses, the memory of Willow’s death fresh and painful making you still. John stopped at your side, his eyes narrowing as he looked at you.
“You’ll have to ride with me.” He urged, the words clipped. Your eyes locked with his gray ones briefly before looking back at his horse. Though for a moment you hesitated, you clumsily climbed on the saddle, the sharp pain in your side restricting your movements. He climbed behind you, his arms circling your waist to keep you from falling off. You heard a clicking noise behind your ear and the horse started to move. The world blurred as your vision wavered, your fingers gripping tightly on John’s forearm muscles as exhaustion threatened to consume you. You could hear Hosea saying something, his voice distant and far away.
“Hold on tight, or you’ll fall off.” John’s gruff voice cut through the haze.
You wanted to snap back at him, but you couldn’t respond. Your strength long gone. You pressed your back against John’s chest. The pain in your side too intense, the blood loss catching up to you. Your grip slackens on his arms making him let out a curse.
And then, darkness took over you.
───── •✧✧• ─────
Consciousness returned slowly, like the gentle light of the sun after the rain. You blinked against the light coming mostly likely from an oil lantern, your vision a hazy blur of shapes and colors. As you tried to focus, you became aware of three figures looming over you, their faces shifting in and out of clarity. Panic fluttered in your chest for a moment as you struggled to push yourself up, your body heavy, the pain in your side reminding you of what happened previously. The last thing you remembered was John’s arms tightening around you and his low voice saying something in your ear.
One of the figures stepped closer, the soft glow of the lamp in the other man’s hand illuminating his features. It was an older man with a ginger mustache and hollow eyes, a look of concern etched deep into the lines of his face. There’s something kind about the way he looked at you.
“Easy there, Miss,” he murmured. “You’re safe now. Just relax.”
The other two figures remained just beyond your sight, their silhouettes casting long shadows across the room. One came beside the ginger man, a tall woman with a stern face, her arched brow furrowed in concentration as she spoke to the man. “—got to make sure it doesn’t get infected,” the woman said, her voice crisp and commanding. “If we don’t stitch her upright, we could lose her.”
As you laid there, struggling to grasp the situation, a wave of warmth washed over you, followed by a sharp sting in your side. You flinched involuntarily, the sensation jolting through you like lightning. That’s when the man with the mustache spoke to the woman beside him “Give something to this poor soul!” he exclaimed, and the other two turned their attention toward you, eyes widening as they saw your pained expression
“Stay still,” the woman commanded, her hands deftly working as she threaded the needle through your skin. “You need to let us do our job, Miss.”
The sharpness of the needle pierced you again, and a low groan escaped your lips as you squeezed your eyes shut, fighting against the pain. “W-what are you doing?” you gasped, panic rising again as the burning sensation spread across your side. Who were these people?
“Just sewing you up,” the man replied, trying to sound comforting, but his eyes held a glint of urgency. “It’s going to hurt a bit. Just keep breathing.”
The third figure, the man with the lamp in hand, stepped back, circling around the woman to give her more light, allowing you a clearer view. His face was familiar—Hosea. You remembered him from the cabin, the kindness in his eyes when he had convinced you to trust him and follow him and John. He watched you intently, a mixture of worry and sympathy written on his face.
“Hang in there,” Hosea said softly, his voice grounding you as the woman continued her work. “You’re going to be alright.”
You felt a rush of warmth and comfort at the sound of his voice, the sensation short lived and quickly replaced by the sharp stab of the needle as it pierced your skin once more. You winced, tears springing to your eyes, and the woman frowned.
With each stitch, the burning intensified, the pain nearly overwhelming. Your screams were agonizing and you tried to thrash against the cot beneath you, but a strange sense of exhaustion settled over you. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you realized you needed to focus on something, anything else. You thought of your brother—his laughter, the way he always made you feel safe, the last memory you had of him giving you that dagger, his last gift of love and protection.
“Don’t close your eyes, stay with us,” Hosea urged, as if sensing your thoughts drifting. The woman pressed a bottle into your hand. “Here, drink this. It’ll help with the pain,” she instructed. You blindly gulped down the liquid realizing after a few seconds that it was whiskey. The liquid sharp and burning as it travelled down your throat, making you cough slightly. Soon you felt its effects dulling your senses, a warm haze began to envelop you. “I can’t—” you started, but another wave of pain crashed over you, and you could feel your eyes fluttering, the world around you dimming again.
“Stay awake,” Hosea said, his voice soothing and steady. “You’re safe. Just breathe.”
You tried to focus on his words, tried to keep your eyes open, but sleep spread through you. The voices around you faded, the edges of your vision darkened, but not before you caught a glimpse of one last figure—the younger man, John—stood in the corner of the room, his expression unreadable.
He looked different now, less like a threat and more like someone who understood your pain. But as you slipped back into the void, your last thoughts were of your brother, his smile and the warmth of his embrace.
And then, with a final flicker of awareness, you drowned into the darkness, your mind drifting away on a sea of memories.
———————————————
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literally-izzy · 3 days
Text
Just Friends?
summary: you’re in love with your best friend who doesn’t feel the same way. right?
Modern AU!Anakin Skywalker and Fem!reader
A/n: ah! this is my first time writing a fic and i might’ve gotten carried away… there’s also original names. not all of the names are star wars related. please feel free to reblog! it would mean a lot!
cw: smut; unprotected piv, pet names, car accident..
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Love. It’s a funny thing. I’ll never understand it. I only know that when it hits you, it hits you hard. Here I am, 25 and still pining over a man who doesn’t want me. You would think that after ten years I would forget about him and move on. It’s hard when he’s your best friend. Anakin Skywalker. I met him my sophomore year, his freshman year. Our moms worked together and became best friends. It was only inevitable that we would too. Every weekend was a movie night at the Skywalker house. Filled with love and laughter. The only times I hated it was when an unwanted visitor came. But I denied the real reason I disliked her.
I told myself it was just because she was too quiet. Not outgoing. Definitely not because she was dating him…. I hated the way he held her in his arms. I eventually began to realize it was because I wished it was me. Any moment I had alone with him was bliss. She didn’t go to our school. They met at summer camp the year before we became friends. So, school, especially choir was a safe place to be with him. He made me laugh like no other. And never changed the way he acted around me when his friends were around.
Now here I am, teaching a class of annoying seventh graders how to sing. Anakin is still in med school. I always admired him for it. He never thought he was smart enough for it. It took my encouragement. We still keep tradition and every Friday night; I go over to his apartment for movie night. When he graduated, he and his girlfriend, Padme, split up. So, for the past 6 years, I’ve never really had to worry about anyone else. He only had a few short relationships throughout the past six years since he graduated. Occasionally his sister joins us for movie night, that’s when we have to watch cheesy hallmark movies. Not that I hate all of them, but I dislike most of them.
I looked down at my desk and saw a text on my phone.
“Just you and me for movie night. Up for Fast and Furious?”
I smiled at the text. My students were currently working on their assignment, so I replied,
“That’s a stupid question, Anakin”. I put my phone down and I sat my chair.
He texted back almost immediately, “so I take that as a yes, y/n?”
I rolled my eyes. “It’s a yes. I’d love to talk more but I have a class to teach. Love ya”
“I’ll say a prayer for those students lol. Love ya.”
I smiled at the last sentence. We’ve been inseparable for ten years. Of course, we love each other. Mine just goes deeper than his. I’ve thought multiple times about telling him. But I just couldn’t. He’s always with someone new when I finally muster up the courage to tell him. And its not like I’ve stayed single. I’m actually with someone right now. He’s amazing in every way. He’s just not Anakin. I looked down at my phone again and realized I had a text from him.
“Hey babe, I’m gong out of town to see my parents for the weekend. I know you’re going to Anakin’s apartment for movie night, so I figured i’d tell you now”.
I feel like such a bitch. At least he’s not jealous of Anakin. My last relationship ended because I refused to stop seeing him.
I texted back, “okay, have fun!” I know I should’ve said more, but I really didn’t care. I saw another text from him but before I could answer it, the bell rang.
“Okay class, that’s homework if you didn’t finish it. Have a great weekend!” All the kids quickly piled out of my classroom. Once I was alone, I read the text from Trey.
“Okay. I will. Be safe on your drive up there.”
“I will.” I replied. I got my things together and walked out to my car. Once I got in, I connected my phone and started blasting love songs. I’m a hopeless romantic. I started driving.
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He lives in the main part of Coruscant. Which is about 45 minutes away from where I live. I spent the drive belting love songs, consciously daydreaming about the life I could have with Anakin.
Once I pull into his driveway, he’s already outside waiting for me.
“Jeez, y/n, took you long enough” he smirks.
“Fuck off, Anakin” I laugh and flip him off. I walk closer to him and give him a hug. It only lasted a couple of seconds, but it felt like hours. His muscular arms wrap around me tightly and contract as we breathe in sync. He smelled like the woods behind his house, where we used to explore. His curly dirty blonde hair that shaped his face brushed against my cheek as he finally pulled away. He stood aside, gesturing for me to enter his apartment.
“Wow, you cleaned!” I teased him as I took off my shoes and sat on his black leather couch.
“Yeah, but not for you. It is my bachelor pad after all” he smirked as he sat down beside me.
“Of course,” I said with an eye roll. I tried not to sound annoyed, but I know I did. Part of my annoyance isn’t even because I want him to myself. Some of it is because he’s not as careful as he should be. He just whores around because his good looks and charm let him. One day, he’s gonna end up being a baby daddy to at least three women. And I know i’d still be around to help him. Always being his best friend. Never the love of his life.
“Pizza should be here soon” Anakin interrupted my thoughts.
“Okay great” I give him a warm smile as he sits down beside me. He pulls out his phone and starts to text someone. I know I should give him his privacy, but I’m a nosey bitch. I discreetly shift my head and side my eyes towards his phone. He’s texting a girl named Aayla. From what I could see, they’ve obviously been hooking up.
“Who’s that?” I asked, letting my jealousy get the better of me. He looks up and smirks.
“Just a girl I’ve been seeing occasionally. Why? You jealous?” He teased. I knew he was teasing but I couldn’t stop my face from turning bright red. Every normal word went out the window. I couldn’t speak. Finally, I shook myself out of it and responded nonchalantly.
“Hell no. I don’t need whatever diseases you’ve contracted from your escapades” I teased. He laughed and playfully rolled his eyes. He put his phone face down on his lap and shifted his body to face me. His black ‘KISS’ tee shirt tightened around his body, outlining his stunning six-pack.
“So, how’s everything with Trey?” His face was calm. His lips pressed into a peaceful smile.
“Everything’s great. We just came up on 4 months together.” I couldn’t think of anything interesting to tell him. As bad as it sounds, my relationship with Trey is vanilla. Nothing daring or exciting.
“Can I ask you something?” He raised his eyebrows slightly.
“Of course,” I smiled.
He paused, thinking of what to say next. “So, I’ve only seen him a few times, but he looks awfully boring. Is he any good in bed?”
My jaw dropped. I started laughing a little. “I guess so. He’s only the second guy I’ve been with. I don’t have much to compare him to”.
“Wait, really?” He looked astonished.
I immediately started blushing. I felt embarrassed. “Um, yeah…”
“How come you never told me?” He looked genuinely hurt that I didn’t tell him I’ve only slept with two men.
“I don’t know. We’ve never really gone into detail about our sex lives”
“Yeah, but I mean, I told you when I lost my virginity at least. You didn’t even tell me that.” He sounded so hurt. And I could see where this was coming from. Besides this one topic, I tell him everything. He looked down at my hands that were fidgeting in my lap. All of a sudden, he grabs them. His big strong hands gripping my smaller ones, with a look of compassion on his face. “y/n, please don’t feel like you have to keep things from me. I’m your best friend. I would never judge you”.
How was I not supposed to melt. I nodded and swallowed, keeping my hands in his. “I lost my virginity when I was nineteen. In college. I was with Maul. I was embarrassed to say anything because you lost yours before me and I felt, different, I guess. After we split, I was scared to do it with anyone else. I’ve only recently slept with Trey.”
Just as he was about to speak, the doorbell rang. We knew it was the pizza, so he went up to get it. Once he got it, he walked into the kitchen. It only took a couple of minutes before he came back in with two plates of pizza. He set the plates down, walked back into the kitchen, and came back with two bottles of ‘Mikes hard lemonade’. He then sat beside me, turning on ‘Fast and Furious’.
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We had gotten through the first three movies before I started to get sleepy. I tried to stay awake for another movie, but I couldn’t. We had talked about various things. Work, school, family, etc.
“I’m sorry, but I better leave. I’m starting to fall asleep.” I yawned tiredly.
His eyes widened. Then he started to look sad. “Wait, why don’t you just stay the weekend? I know you keep clothes in your car, and you said Trey would be at his parents’ house all weekend.”
I smiled. But then I started overthinking. What if I annoy him too much? We’ve never spent a whole weekend together without breaks. Or what if he wants to bring a girl over? I’d just get in the way. “Are you sure? What if you want to put your bachelor pad to use?” I slightly teased. Only slightly because part of me was serious.
He smirked, “Do you really think girls are over here every weekend?”
“From the way you talk about them, yes.”
He started laughing. “No, y/n. I’m really not that big of a man whore.”
I looked down at my hands, “Oh. Well, what about that Aayla girl?”
“Not important. We aren’t exclusive. She’s just something fun. There’s no relationship there. If there was, I would’ve told you, y/n.” He said seriously.
“Okay. I’ll stay. I don’t have pajamas in my car though.”
He smiled, knowing he had won. “I have a shirt and sweats you can wear.”
“Okay. Do you have a pillow for the couch?” I asked with a soft smile on my face.
“Yes. But not for you. You can have my bed. And that’s non-negotiable.”
I rolled my eyes as I stood up. I was too tired to fight. He motioned for me to follow him into his room. I’d only been in there once, and that was when he moved into the apartment. As we walked in, I was hit with the refreshing smell of his light cologne. His bed was in the corner, facing the door when you walk in. Across from his queen-sized bed was a tall, dark wood dresser. He walked over to the dresser and pulled out a gray shirt and black sweatpants.
“Here, they might be a bit big, but you’ll just be sleeping in them.”
“Thank you” I smiled. He set the clothes on his bed before walking closer to me. Once he was close enough, he wrapped his strong arms around me. I hugged him back, breathing in his scent. His head rested on my dirty blonde curls.
“Goodnight, y/n”, he breathed out before pulling away. I sighed and smiled.
“Night, Ani”. With that, he smiled and walked out, shutting his door. I began to remove my clothes and replaced them with his. I was immediately engulfed in his natural woodsy scent. I then crawled into his bed. It was very soft, like laying on a cloud. His black sheets smelled like him. I laid there and started thinking about the future I could have if I just grow a pair and tell him. Eventually, I closed my eyes and drifted off, wishing he was laying beside me.
While I was sleeping, I felt something on my hair. I decided to ignore it. But I can't help but hope it was him. But I won't bring It up.
I woke up to the sound of sizzling. I sat up and admired the way the sun shined on my body through the window above the bed. I tossed my legs over the side of the bed and walked out to the kitchen. I was hit with the smell of bacon, my favorite. I walked further in to see Anakin humming and cooking. He was so focused on breakfast; he didn’t even notice I was awake. So, I started to sing the words of the song he was humming. He quickly turned around with a huge grin on his face. His robe was open, exposing his bare chest. His body was God-like.
“You have such a beautiful voice, y/n/n” he complimented me. Sure, he knew I could sing, but this felt different. I blushed a little before responding.
“Thank you, Ani”. I smiled.
“Did you sleep well?” He asked with his eyebrows slightly raised.
“Yes, I did. Your bed is very comfy” I smiled.
He let out a small chuckle. “I know. So, I deserve a big thank you for letting you sleep in it for this weekend”
I rolled my eyes. “Thank you for letting me sleep in your incredibly comfy bed.”
“You’re welcome.” He turned back around to get our plates ready. Once he was done, he took them to the table and sat down waiting for me. We sat there and ate the eggs and bacon he had made. Then I remembered something.
“Last night, what were you going to say before the pizza got delivered?”
He looked down. He was thinking. “Well, I guess I was just surprised, I guess. It’s hard to believe you’ve only slept with two men.” I looked into his eyes and knitted my eyebrows.
“What do you mean by that?”
“Oh, c’mon y/n/n. Just because we’re best friends, doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate how beautiful you are.” I choked on my water. I coughed for a few minutes before responding.
“Oh. Really?”
He smiled and laughed lightly. “Yes. Really.” I could’ve died right there. Why couldn’t he be mine?
Once we finished eating, I walked into his living room and sat on the couch. I got on my phone to check any missed calls or notifications I might’ve had. All I had was a text from Trey.
“Good morning, beautiful. Missed waking up next to you this morning” I didn’t. I wished it was Anakin.
“Why is he so cheesy?” I heard Anakin ask from beside me. I can’t blame him for being nosey, considering I did the same thing last night.
“I don’t know. It’s not my favorite if I’m being honest” I said with a slight grimace. He laughed before focusing back on his phone. I looked back down at the text and decided to respond.
“Good morning! Don’t miss me too much. Enjoy your time with your parents”. I rolled my eyes as I pressed send. I started scrolling on instagram. I stopped when I saw an engagement post an old friend from High school made. An instant feeling of jealousy and heartbreak came over me. I heard Anakin sigh as he started to speak.
“Oh yeah, I saw that.” He spoke as if it made no difference. It probably doesn’t to him. But to me, I feel behind. I thought I still had time to start all of that. Is 25 too old? He started to speak again when I didn’t say anything. “Hey, what’s wrong?” His voice was soft, like velvet
“Am I wasting my life?” I looked up with tears begging to be released from my eyes.
“What the fuck are you talking about?” He knitted his eyebrows together.
“I though I still had time before starting a family. I thought 25 was still young. But now, Casey is getting married.” I sniffled. The tears finally leaving my eyes. Without saying anything, Anakin pulled me into a hug. Once again, his woodsy smell engulfed my senses and I felt calm. My face was pressed against his bare chest, since he still hadn’t changed. He gently rubbed my back with his hand. After a few minutes, I pulled away to save myself from falling for him even more, if that was possible. He began to speak.
“I don’t think there’s a time limit. You start it when you’re ready.” He smiled softly.
“When did you get so smart?” I teased. He scoffed and playfully put his hand to his chest.
“I am deeply offended y/n.” I pushed him and we started laughing. He paused. “Hey, I have an idea”
“What?”
“Let’s go see my parents. It’ll give us something to do.” He shrugged. I smiled. I hadn’t seen them in a while.
“I love that idea. I just have to get my clothes out of my car and change” I stood up and did just that. I walked back in with my book bag and went into his room and changed. I walked out with my slightly ripped jeans and my favorite ‘Nirvana’ tee-shirt. Anakin smiled and walked into the room to change while I waited. He walked back out in black jeans and a plain gray shirt. Even in the plainest clothes he was ethereal. I grabbed my phone and his as we walked out the door.
On the drive to his parents’ house, we blasted our favorite songs. We belted our hearts out, laughed at the stupid shit he said. My heart fluttered every time he looked at me. The way he says my name. After 20 minutes, we pulled into his parents' driveway. We got out and he rang the doorbell. Their house was white and older. There was a wooded area in their backyard where Anakin, his sister Ashoka, and I would explore and mess around.
When I moved closer to my job, I was sad to be so far away. But when Anakin moved to Coruscant to go to college and Coruscant Medical School, I was elated. We were now only 45 minutes apart instead of an hour. I hadn’t been home in 6 months. My parents haven’t even met Trey. Which is intentional.
After a few seconds, his mom Shmi, opened the door and a huge grin appeared on her face. She then gasped.
“Oh! y/n!! It’s so good to see you!” She pulled me into a tight comforting hug. Anakin rolled his eyes.
“Nice to see you too mom” he teased. I pulled away and smiled. She walked forward and pulled Anakin into a hug as well. Just then, his Step dad, Cliegg, came out and gave me a side hug before hugging Anakin. Shmi finally spoke up.
“Well, come on in! I just made some chili if you’re hungry”. I walked into their house and was hit with the smell of her infamous chili. My mouth immediately started watering. I proceeded to the kitchen and didn’t waste and time on grabbing a bowl. Anakin soon entered behind me and did the same.
Once our bowls were filled, we went into the dining room and sat at the table. His parents joined us, and we began to make some small talk. Shmi smiled and began to speak.
“So, are either of you seeing anyone?” Before I could say anything, Anakin spoke up.
“Well, y/n has a boyfriend. But I’m not seeing anyone right now.” I smiled awkwardly, knowing Shmi would tell my mother. Shmi’s face looked almost sad, as if she wanted me to be single or him to not be.
“Oh, that’s wonderful! What’s his name?” She asked brightly. I looked up from the table and smiled.
“His name is Trey” I said quietly.
“Is that short for anything?” Cliegg spoke up.
“His name is Daniel Jones the third. Because he’s the third, he goes by Trey.”
“Oh, I didn’t know that.” Anakin said almost offended.
“Well, you never asked” I replied. The rest of lunch went well. After a few more hours, we decided to head back home. We hugged his parents goodbye and got back into Anakin’s truck. Once we started driving, Anakin cleared his throat and started to speak.
“Are you mad at me?” He said as if he would start crying if I said yes.
“What? No. Why would I be mad at you?” I asked genuinely.
“I don’t know. You’ve just been distant recently, I guess.” He shrugged, keeping his beautiful blue eyes on the road.
“I’m not trying to be. You’re my best friend, I would never try to distance myself from you.” I sighed. He was right. But I’m only trying to save myself from utter heartbreak.
“Okay. I believe you.” And with that, we stayed silent the rest of the ride home. The only time we spoke was when we stopped at a drive-thru to get food. We ate in the car. Still staying silent. Once we pulled into his driveway, I got out and went straight to his room to change.
In had just finished changing, when Anakin walked in. He just stood there. He didn’t say anything. I spoke up.
“Is everything go-” I was cut short by Anakin when he pressed his lips onto mine. I didn’t even have time to react before he pulled away. His eyes widened.
“I- I’m sorry.” With that, he walked out of his room and shut the door. I wanted to follow him, but I could tell he needed to be alone. I sat on the end of the bed and ran my hands through my hair. I looked down and spoke quietly.
“What the fuck just happened?” I crawled onto the bed and laid down. Did he mean to? Was he fucking with me? Did he want me as much as I want him? No. He couldn’t. It’s been too long for him not to have said anything. I curled into a ball and fell asleep thinking about what just happened.
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The next morning, I woke up ready to talk to Anakin. I changed into leggings and a plain blue shirt. When I walked out, I didn’t see him anywhere. I checked every room until I saw a note on his fridge.
“I went for a drive. I don’t know when I’ll be back. I’m so sorry. I’ll see you next weekend, I hope. - Anakin. I wasn’t angry at him for leaving, surprisingly. I understood. I walked back into his room, grabbed my stuff and left. As I drove back to my apartment, I couldn’t help but start to cry. I cried because I was hurt, confused, frustrated, in love.
When I pulled into the driveway, I sat in my car and cried some more. Eventually, I got out and walked into my apartment complex. I got in the elevator and kept my eyes on the floor so no one could see me cry. When the elevator rang, I walked out and ran down the hallway to get to my door.
I walked in and ran into my room. I crawled into my bed and cried. He kissed me and he regrets it. I was stupid to think that maybe we could be something. I fell asleep with tears still running down my cheeks.
After what was probably a few hours, I heard loud knocking on my door. I got up and opened it. Trey.
“Hey gorgeous” he smiled.
“Hi.” I said quietly. I stood to the side allowing him to come in. I couldn’t stop sniffling, so he turned around with a concerned look.
“What’s wrong, beautiful?” He said softly.
“I just don’t feel good” I lied. I couldn’t tell him that my best friend kissed me, said sorry, then left and I wished he wasn’t sorry. Trey walked over to the couch and sat down. He gestured for me to sit beside him. I did. Once I sat down, he pulled me close to him. I wont lie, Trey is very comforting. He is so sweet and honestly very good looking, but he’s not him. As much as I try to enjoy being with Trey I can't.
I sat there for what felt like another hour, before I got a call. I sat up and answered.
“Hello?” I didn’t recognize the number.
“Hi, this is Coruscant Hospital. Is this y/n y/l/n?” My heart dropped.
“Yes, it is”
“We have Anakin Skywalker here. You were number one on his emergency contact list. He’s in our trauma room right now. He got into a pretty bad accident. I would suggest that you come down and call any other family members”.
I froze. I couldn’t speak. I felt tears running down my cheeks, but I couldn’t make any sound. Finally, I said okay and hung up. I told trey what happened, and I left. I drove as fast as I could without getting pulled over. I sobbed thinking the worst. I called his mom and told her. She immediately tried to calm me down and told me she was on her way.
I pulled into the parking lot and ran in. I told the receptionist his name. She looked him up and told me he was taken into emergency surgery. I sat in the waiting room. His mom eventually came, and I told her. She held me as I cried. We sat in the waiting room for 4 hours. Eventually a doctor came out.
“Are you the family of Anakin Skywalker?”. We both nodded. “He’s out of surgery. He’s in a coma right now. He shouldn’t be asleep for long, but don’t expect him to be awake tonight.”
We nodded. A nurse came and led us to his room. As soon as I saw him, I immediately broke into tears. I pulled a chair up to the side of his bed. I sat down and grabbed his hand. He had a black eye, and his arms were covered in cuts and bruises. He had stitches visible on his chest, before they went under his gown. Shmi grabbed his other hand and gave it a kiss. We sat in silence before she finally spoke.
“He’s so lucky to have you, y/n.” She said softly with a light smile.
“What do you mean?” I asked with utter confusion.
“You bring out the best in him. He trusts you more than anyone. You’d drop anything the moment he asks you to. And you care about him so much. You’ve shed more tears tonight than I think I have in the last 4 years.” She explained.
“Of course, I care about him. He’s my best friend.” She just hummed in response. After an hour or so, another nurse came in.
“Unfortunately, only one of you can stay with him. It’s hospital policy.” I immediately went to stand up when Shmi spoke.
“y/n, stay. You need to. I’ll be back in the morning.” I she said sternly. I didn’t even try to argue with her. She left and I curled up in the chair and slept the best I could.
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The next morning, his mom walked in and woke me up. She had brought me some coffee and a breakfast sandwich. We turned on the television and occasionally had a conversation. I barely let go of his hand.
Shmi left to get some lunch. I stayed. I held his hand with my left hand and used my right to caress his face. I whispered softly.
“Please wake up. I need you. I-I love you. Please Ani.” I begged. I couldn’t help but shed a few tears. All I wanted was to hear his voice.
After a bit, Shmi returned, and we talked some more. Once it got late, she left and went back home. I sat there and cried some more. I needed my best friend. I needed my Ani. All of a sudden, I heard a knock on the door.
“Come in” I said calmly. Trey walked in with some food,
“I got you something to eat. Figured I could sit with you for a bit and then take you home.” He spoke.
I sighed. “Thank you for the food, but I’m staying here. I refuse to leave him.”
“Can I ask you something?” He said softly.
“Sure” I said staring at Anakin’s beautiful face.
“If that was me, would you stay all night, not eat and hold my hand?” He spoke softly, but I could tell he was sad and angry. How could I blame him? But I was tired of lying.
“No.” And I said that with full honesty. “He’s my best friend. We’ve been inseparable for ten years. Why would that change now?” I spoke quietly. Not once taking my eyes off of Anakin.
“You love him. Don’t you?” He questioned. I didn’t know what to say.
“Of course. He’s my best frie-”. He cut me off.
“Cut the shit, y/n. You love him. More than a friend. And I won’t stand in the way.” He said solemnly. He walked out and I didn’t say anything. I just kept my red teary eyes on the love of my life. Whether he felt the same or not, it’s true. I kissed his hand. And for the first time in years, I prayed.
I prayed to God that he wakes up. That I get my best friend back. I turned off the television and the lights. I sat there with only the beeping of the machines. I leaned forward, laid my head on the side of his bed and cried.
After a bit, his nurse came to check his vitals. I watched as she did her job. I could tell she was very meticulous, and I was thankful for that. After she left, I felt the urge to cry again. So, I pulled out my phone and called the only other person who comforts me. My mom. The phone rang for a couple of seconds before she answered.
“Hello?” She said calmly.
“Hey mom” I said, my voice cracking.
“Oh, baby. I heard what happened to Anakin. Shmi told me you haven’t left his side in almost two days.”
“How could I mom? He’s my person, my safe haven. I need him. I love him.” I said hesitantly.
“We all know that. We’re positive he does too. We were just wondering how long it would take before you noticed.” She said with a laugh in her voice. She was always good at seeing the positive in everything.
“Damn. We’re dense. I just called you to calm myself down but I’m getting tired so I’m going to try and sleep.” I said in a calm tone.
“Okay, sweetie. Call me if you need me. Bye.” And she hung up. I set my phone down and leaned forward again so I could keep holding his hand.
I laid my head on his arm and drifted off to sleep.
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I heard talking. I thought it was just nurses until I heard his voice.
“No, don’t wake her. My mom said she barely slept. I want her to get as much sleep as possible.” It was Anakin. I shot my head up. When I did his beautiful ocean blue eyes were on y/e/c ones. I brought my hand up to cover my mouth as I burst into tears. He smiled and brought his hand up to cup my cheek.
“Never mind.” He let out a soft chuckle.
The nurses all walked out and shut the door leaving us alone. I removed my hand and spoke.
“You’re awake!” I exclaimed.
“Am I?” He teased. “y/n, I’m so sorry about what happe-” I cut him off.
“I love you. So much actually.” I blurted out.
“Wait, really?” He knitted his eyebrows
I nodded. “I love you. More than just a friend. I’ve loved you since the day we met. I’ve loved you through every friend, girl, or fight we’ve ever had. I understand if you don’t feel the same way. I just needed to tell you.”
His face calmed and he smiled. His hand grabbed my shirt and pulled me forward. When we were close enough, he pressed his lips on to mine. We kissed passionately for what felt like hours. When we pulled away, he spoke.
“I never thought I’d hear you say that. I only got girlfriends to distract myself from the fact that I loved you. I thought I finally had a chance until you got with Trey. I’ve tried so hard to contain myself, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want you to leave Friday because I couldn’t handle having to wait another week before I saw you again. And at night I came in and kissed your forehead against my better judgement. y/n, I love you more than any word could express.”
I started crying again. He pulled me close to him. I laid on my side with my head to his chest. And I stayed like that for the next three days until he was discharged.
I helped him walk out to my car. Once we got in and I started driving, he put his hand on my thigh. I smiled as I drove us back to his apartment. Once I pulled into his driveway, I got out and helped him get out. We walked into his apartment, and the moment his door was shut, his lips were on mine.
Anakin moved his lips from mine down to my jaw and neck. I let out small moans of pleasure. He moved his hands down and grabbed the hem of my shirt. I raised my arms so he could remove it. Once my shirt was off, we walked into his room. When we got into his room, he began to remove everything except for his boxers. I removed everything but my bra and thong.
“Should we be doing this? You just had surgery 5 days ago” I reminded him.
“Baby, I need exercise to strengthen my heart again. That shard of glass really fucked it up. And what better way to get it working than to do this?” He smirked while he explained. I chose to just nod.
He walked closer to me and caressed every inch of me. He brought his hands around my back and unclipped my bra. I let it slide down my arms as he admired my bare chest.
“You’re so fucking beautiful baby” he grabbed my breasts and began to place kisses on my neck. He pushed me onto his bed and got on top of me. He brought his hands down and removed underwear in one go. I smirked and took my hand and placed it over his boxers, rubbing the impressive bulge. He let out a whimper, which drove me crazy. I pulled down his boxers and widened my eyes. He was huge.
Anakin took his fingers and began to rub my clit. I moaned and threw my head into the pillow. He leaned forward and placed my breast into his mouth.
“That feels so good Ani” I moaned. He began to move his fingers faster around my clit, causing me to squirm. It didn’t take long until he removed his mouth from my nipple and moved his body down.
He spread my legs open, and I felt him sucking on my clit. The feeling was phenomenal. He then started lapping at my pussy like he would die without it. He then took his middle finger and ring finger and began fingering me.
“Oh my god, Anakin. I’m gonna-” I couldn’t even finish my sentence. He let out a dark chuckle before he moved his body up.
I felt the tip of his dick at my entrance. He looked at me and smirked.
“Are you ready baby?” I looked at him and nodded. “Use your words, pretty girl.”
“Fuck, yes I’m ready.” With that, I felt him push his length in me slowly. I threw my head back and moaned loudly. Once I adjusted to his length, he began to thrust into me at a decent pace. He leaned his head down and kissed me deeply while bringing a hand down to rub my clit.
“Ani, go faster” I begged. He began to go faster and felt the knot in my stomach begin to unravel. I let out louder moans until they became incoherent babbles.
“Fuck baby, you feel so good around my cock.” Anakin let out the most glorious whimper I’d ever heard. That was enough to send me into orbit.
“I’m so close” I told him, and he began to thrust faster.
“Fuck baby, me too.” He whined. He kept thrusting faster until I felt my orgasm coming.
“Ani, I’m gonna come.” I moaned. He looked into my eyes and smiled.
“Come with me baby” and with those words I felt my orgasm take over my body as his thrusts began to slow down as he came in me.
“Fuck, y/n” He panted as he pulled out. He bent down and pushed his cum back into my leaking hole, eliciting a moan from my lips.
He got off of me and laid beside me. He then pulled me close to him, so my head was on his chest.
“You have no idea, how long I’ve wanted to do that for.” He confessed and I smiled as I began to trace circles on his chest with my finger.
“Me too” I replied. He leaned his head down and kissed the top of my head.
“I love you, y/n. So much.” He said softly as his hand ran up and down my back.
“I love you too Anakin.” I replied. We laid there, talking. At one point he brought the blanket over us. After a bit, we started to get tired, and it didn’t take long before I fell asleep in his arms. Where I belonged.
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snufkepo · 1 day
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hey guys… it’s a big one for monster fans this time
RANDY REF SHEET…. AND MONSTERS INC DESIGNS!! so so happy to have finished this :3 im honestly really pleased with how my adult monster designs came out and i will infinitely be proud of my randall. i lvoe him so so much.
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also to the ppl that take the time to actually reblog and interact with my monster posts… thank you. guys so much. they mean so so so much to me and its nice to know theres other people that share this really personal interest with me c:
bonus note i think it’s funny randall is older than both mike and sulley .. assuming theyre all born in the same year 😭😭 38 year old randy with 37 year old mike and sulley…
also if you want to know why i think theyre in their 30s and not their 20s, there’s a line in monsters at work where sulley goes like. “give it up mike. college was 20 long years ago” which. ??.?!!!”! HUGE, because for the longest time eveyrone assumed they were like 28 or so in monsters inc, but they’re OLDER!!! theyre so important to me guys
next up on the list, i might get to designing johnny worthington (i have a draft of his appearance already hehe) or i draw my girl kisser monsters… carrie and claire i love you so much
much love again monstropolis state area :D enjoy the art and stuff, more to come
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bamboozledbird · 3 days
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IGNITE: A Teen Wolf S1 AU (Reader's Version) // Prev. / Chapter 5
Characters: Stiles Stilinski, fem!reader, Scott McCall, Lydia Martin, ofc, omc Pairing: Eventual Stiles x Reader, but man are we talking slow burn Word Count: 10.2k Warnings: Canon typical gore/violence, parental death (rip to your fake mom), depictions of depression (apathy, dissociation, 'numb little bug' vibes), depictions of a panic attack, animal death Tags: Canon has been lovingly scrapped for parts, author is a chaotic bi and it shows, prolific overuse of the em dash, the slowest of burns i fear
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Summary: You can always smell ash long after the fire is gone. Perhaps, that’s why you still can’t breathe without choking on the past. It’s been four years since your mom died. Four years since she burned alive. Four years since you didn’t. You survived, but they must have buried your heart with her because most days you feel like a shadow, some horrifically sad creature caught halfway between a ghost and a lamb for slaughter. 
You can’t scrub the bitter smell of hospital from your memories, not even with denial. Maybe, that’s why death and disease follows Stiles wherever he goes now. It’s been eight years since his mom died. Eight years since he didn’t. Eight years since he decided that he wouldn’t let anyone he loved die ever again. He survived, but Beacon Hills’ bloody underbelly is making it pretty damn hard for him to keep his promise.
Time never stops turning. The grief never dissipates. Children soldier on—but in a town where all the monsters under the bed are real, and old family secrets rattle in every closet, how long can two fragile, breakable humans survive?
Maybe, the real question is: How long will they want to?
Chapter Summary: You start to unravel some of the secrets hidden in Beacon Hill's other world, and Stiles manages to worm his way into discovering some of your own. 
A/N: this took a minute, so i hope the length makes up for it! comments and reblogs are love, and i am tinkerbell. also check me out on ao3 (dork_knight) for the full lore version!
Tag list: @eaterof-concrete
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Your anger fizzled with every mile you drove. By the time you finished your third loop around the Preserve, it was just a light simmer of irritation. The void was quickly filled with a different emotion: curiosity. There was a little dread in there too, perhaps also a touch of nausea, but the concoction was still potent enough to distract you from your...whatever that was with Lydia. Now that you were alone, trees blurring together in a ribbon of yellowing-green through your dash, all you could think about was the fire Derek’s family died in. Well, that, and another fire that was always lurking somewhere in your mind, hiding in the shadows, just waiting for the chance to jump out and strangle your heart. 
Beacon Hills was a small town. A town where, until very recently, bad things hardly ever happened. What were the chances of two houses going up in flames four years apart? Of two houses burning down to the foundation in the blink of an eye? Of two homes becoming charred rubble and chilling memorials to the lives lost inside? As far as you knew, they were the only unnatural fires that’d occurred in Beacon Hills in the last century. 
It could all be a coincidence, of course. Nothing. Just a delusional, grief-driven conspiracy. It would be best if you accepted that now before you fell too far down this rabbit hole. It’d taken you two years to finally realize that the police were never going to figure out what really happened to your mom, and those two years had been filled with a series of devastating misdirections, hundreds of dashed hopes and unanswered prayers to a god you no longer believed in. You knew better than this. You did. You knew better than to hope. 
But…maybe. Maybe there was something there. If there was an elaborate plot afoot, you knew just the right conspiracy nut to turn to.
The last time you believed in magic, you were six. You had run the entire mile-and-a-half to Maggie’s dad’s store, hands bloody and cupped into a small nest. You had almost choked on your quiet, congested whimpers, but after a few minutes of blubbering, you’d finally managed to spit out a few words, “You know how to fix him, right? You know everything.” There had to be a spell, you’d thought, with all the wisdom of a first-grade education. There had to be some magic flower or special potion that could make everything better. 
You hadn’t noticed the look on Maggie’s face when you finally opened your fingers, but Maggie had to have been panicking once she saw exactly what needed to be fixed—cradled in your palms, was a tiny, twitching field mouse you’d found on your way home from school. His little chest had heaved so slowly as he laid limply in your hands, as if he’d already accepted his fate. You’d been so young then, too young to realize that Maggie was only nineteen and faked her confidence more often than she felt it. Nineteen seemed so old at six, and now it was only three years away. 
Maggie had known, of course, that the poor little guy probably wouldn’t live long enough to see nightfall, but she’d made the fatal mistake of looking into your big wet eyes: still so full of hope and belief in the impossible. Instead of telling you the truth, she’d just said, “I got this," and took the mouse to the backroom—where all the magic happened. You never ended up seeing the mouse again. You realized now that probably meant he died, but you appreciated Maggie letting you live in the land of make-believe for just a little while longer. 
But that was ten years ago. Today, you knew that Mags was only mortal and Willowbark couldn’t actually heal fatal rodent wounds—but you were still hoping, against all hopes, that Maggie actually had the answers this time. 
“Mags?” your brow crinkled as you searched for Maggie and her wild curls. Mags often got lost in the midst of all the chaos, just a small blip in a collection of odd, Victorian-esque relics. You could usually spot at least a glimpse of whatever loud color Maggie was sporting that day. The yellows and pinks were always stark against the dingy backdrop, but today all you could see from the front door was varying shades of sage, oxblood, and charcoal. “Maggie?”
A muffled cry sounded from the storeroom, “Back here.” The door to the room was slightly ajar, and the purple lighting from the mini-greenhouse inside spilled through the crack. It cast a mesmerizing strip of dayglow lavender over the dangly earrings and mood rings for sale next to the register. “Bring me the shears, will you? The pink ones by Giz.”
You dropped your backpack behind the glass counter and drifted towards the sounds of Gizmo’s trumpeting snores. The stretch for the pruning scissors was a bit precarious; the little prince was batting his paws at something in the depths of dreamland and had no presence of mind for your fragile skin. You snagged the shears with minimal carnage and ran your finger along the cool edge, staring at the gleaming surface, “You’re into all local history, right? Not just the made-up stuff?”
Maggie took the shears from your lax hands and squatted next to the potted yew tree on the floor. It was just starting to blossom, red berries dotted sparsely around the spiky leaves—ripe for whatever ridiculous offering Maggie had planned. Maggie blew a ringlet out of her face and fixed you with a stern frown, “My ancestors were witches, and Dragons absolutely did exist. Just look at ‘dinosaur’ fossils from the—”
“Do you know anything about the fire the Hale family died in?” you looked down at your hands so that you didn’t have to see Maggie’s reaction. 
You traced circles around a rosy stain on Maggie’s workbench, likely from ground flower petals or dripping pomegranate seeds, shoulders hunching towards your ears as you continued, “I mean, you’re around the same age as the older sister, right?” Laura. You couldn’t bring yourself to say her name, and the hypocrisy was stifling. You hated when people tiptoed around death, when they used pretty euphemisms like that could make what actually happened any less brutal. Less evil. Less unfair. But there was no softening grief. Death. Murder. There was no candy coat sweet enough to cloak the taste of rotting—and yet, you still couldn’t say her name.
Maggie went still briefly and then continued clipping branches, ignoring or not noticing the couple of leaves stuck to her fuzzy sweater. “Why?”
You gritted your teeth and stared a burl in the wood underneath your fingers, “Why do you think?”
Sighing, Maggie spread her clippings across the maple worktop and picked at a few yellowing leaves, “Where is this coming from, babe? I mean, that was a long time ago. I’m almost thirty, you know—ancient by most standards.”
You didn’t smile. Couldn’t. “Do you know anything or not?”
“No,” Maggie sounded genuine, but she kept her eyes on the red stains underneath her fingernails, “nothing more than what was on the news.”
The fact that Maggie didn’t make a quip or a stupid pun was even more telling than her refusal to look in your direction. You folded your arms over your chest and leaned your hip against the doorframe, “Sure.”
“Are you okay, babe?” Maggie wiped the berry residue off on her skirt, and the long hem swished around her ankles as she crept towards you. Her hand was cautious when she placed it on your rigid shoulder, “You aren’t skipping your meds again, are—”
Your eyes flashed as you shook off Maggie’s light touch with a jerk of your shoulder, “Is it possible for me to have a single feeling without everyone jumping down my throat about my meds.”
“I just worry,” Maggie said softly, and she reached for you again, waiting for you to pull away. She tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear when you didn’t. Your limbs were still stiff, and your face was still stony, but you let Maggie grab your hand. It was slightly sweaty, probably from all the indoor-gardening, but there was some comfort in the circles she smoothed over your knuckles. “You know I’m a worrier. Comes with the conspiracy theorist in me.”
You looked down at your feet and dug your toes into the concrete floor, “And my mom’s dying wish—I know.”
A bit of hurt quivered in the corners of Maggie’s reassuring smile, even though she tried her best to hide it, “That’s not the reason I do it.”
Your entire frame slumped with guilt, “I know.” And you did; you did know. You made Maggie drive you to the library every weekend before you got your license, and in return Maggie stole about a dozen of your sweaters once she realized you were finally the same size—Mags wasn’t just your mom’s weird friend from the neighborhood; she was family. She taught you how to make pie crust and scones, and she always read ‘happily ever after’ in the lines of your palms when you needed something to smile about. Maggie did a million little things for you without any appreciation, and you tried to remember every single one as you sat on the floor in front of the ‘Local Culture’ shelf.
Your nose scrunched as you looked over the titles on the spines, searching for anything that sounded even remotely real. Maggie knelt next to you, patch-work skirt billowing around her knees, and watched your fingers drum against the floor. 
“Anything in particular you’re looking for?” Maggie bumped your shoulder with her own, and you grunted a little response.
“Nothing you can help me with.” Evidently, you thought with only a bit of bitterness. 
Maggie didn’t say anything for a long time. You almost forgot she was there, and then her bracelets clacked together as she shifted. “Here,” Maggie pulled a thick journal out of the depths of her baggy cardigan and held it out with a complicated expression on her face—something halfway between a frown and a smile, “I think you’ll find this one particularly interesting.”
You looked down at the title and rubbed your thumb over the engraved font, “‘A History and Detailed Account of Beacon Hills Bloodlines’?” 
Maggie nodded and shoved her hands into her skirt pockets, “Goes back all the way to the beginning—not literally, obviously. I don’t think they wanted to get into the whole ‘God vs. Big Bang’ debate, but it dates back to when the town was founded.”
“That’s…interesting, I guess,” you flipped through the pages and bit down on your tongue to squash the sneer curling across your lips. It was a nice gesture. You knew that—but what else were you supposed to do when the ‘History’ and ‘Detailed Account’ fell open to an artistic diagram of 'local werewolf packs’ genealogy lines. You were a little interested to see if the names were entirely fictional, or if the journal was an accurate record of Beacon Hill’s very own Werewolf Trials. Probably the first, you’d remember learning about extra hairy men and women being burned at the stake in social studies. 
Maggie huffed out a little laugh and pushed her glasses back up the bridge of her nose. “I know you won’t believe everything in there, but who knows,” she shrugged and held out a hand for you to grab onto, “maybe you’ll finally be enlightened.”
You took her hand and hummed, “While you’re feeling so generous and bad for me ‘cause I’m functionally an orphan, could I get some more of that wolfsbane gunk?” You batted your lashes over the edge of the leather cover and grinned your most adorable smile—the one that dusted off a rare view of your dimples, “It can be my birthday present.”
It was an obvious ploy, but Maggie just laughed and poked one of your dimples, “Your birthday is months away.”
You picked up the speed of your blinking, approaching butterfly-wing territory, and rocked onto your tiptoes, “An early birthday present is still a birthday present.” 
Mags watched you through narrowed eyes for a moment, “You don’t even believe in werewolves.”
You shrugged and smirked, “It works on humans too.” 
“Please, please don’t make me an accessory to murder.” Maggie gripped your shoulders and shook you a little, fighting a smile, “I would not fare well in prison. They limit your internet privileges there—no Wi-Fi, babe. No Wi-Fi. I would be completely alone with my thoughts.”
“The horror,” your eyes glittered with your grin, and for a sweet moment you forgot about the journal in your hands and all the questions it wouldn’t answer. “It’s not for me,” you admitted, grimacing as Maggie’s lips puckered. The pursing of her lips, the hollowing of her cheeks—that always came before a very long and arduous inquisition. Maggie could be relentless when she wanted to be. 
“And whom would you be giving such a precious gift to?” The thickness of her brows only magnified the suspicion in Maggie’s tapered expression, “A gift you called—what was it? ‘Useless’ and ‘stupid’ less than 24-hours ago?”  
“Just because I think it’s stupid, doesn’t mean it’s a bad gift for someone else. I thought the Sonic Chia Pet I gave you was stupid, and you loved it.” You knew you won when Maggie started walking away from you towards the storeroom. You still had no idea how Curio Killed the Cat stayed in business when Maggie handed out inventory like candy, but presently its troubling business model was a blessing in disguise.
“Don’t disparage him,” Maggie crooned over her shoulder, “it’s bad luck.”
“If everything is sacred, nothing is,” you sniped, doing your best Vulcan impression.
Maggie smiled brightly as she hopped over the counter, sticking out her tongue, “I don’t think everything is sacred—just all the things I like.”
Speaking of things Maggie liked—you tucked your first gift under your armpit and held out your hands, palms cupped together. Your mouth curved into a cheesy grin as you said, “Trick-or-Treat.”
Maggie rolled her eyes, but her puckish spark dwindled when she looked at the vile of wolfsbane. It was balanced between her thumb and forefinger, glass reflecting the light, and you felt a bit like you were accepting the One Ring and a quest you weren't prepared for. “Be careful, okay?” Maggie hesitated before dropping the vile into your waiting hands, “I know you love Buffy, but resurrection isn’t so easy off-screen.”
You were a little startled by the concern wrinkling the corners of Maggie’s eyes. She looked almost more worried now than she did when you asked her about the Hale fire. “Like I said,” you carefully eased the wolfsbane into your corduroy skirt, “it’s not for me.”
Maggie's eyes combed over your face, searching for something, and then she sighed, “Just…don’t let anyone drag you into something stupid. I don’t care how cute he is; no boy is worth the risk of ruining your gorgeous face. It’s your money-maker, babe.” 
There was a lot to unpack in those three sentences; you didn’t even know where to begin. There was, of course, the implication that you were going to join some kind of Scooby-Doo gang that dealt wolfsbane on the side. While the thought of going ghost hunting with a pair of boys who couldn’t make it to class without tripping over their feet was, in fact, asinine…that wasn’t the part twisting stubborn knots around your ear canal. 
Your face was dragged down by a broody pout, “For your information, I’m not giving it to Stiles; it’s actually for a guy who isn’t the leading cause of pulmonary embolisms in Beacon County—and I don’t think either of them are cute.” 
That wasn’t strictly true. You did think that Scott was cute, just like you thought Gizmo was cute when he pleaded for treats. You could see the appeal of Scott McCall, why Allison liked him, but you hadn’t thought someone was cute like that in a very long time. A person generally had to actually look at people to think they were cute, and you hadn’t looked beyond forcing one foot in front of the other and your nubby nails in years. 
And as far as Stiles went…honestly, you hadn’t really considered the concept of Stiles as an actual person until Maggie had to go and imply it. You supposed, now that you were thinking about it, he had an objectively nice face: big eyes, button nose, nice jaw—but when you saw him in person, it was almost always covered with an infuriating smirk or making obnoxious sounds. You usually just wanted to shove it away from you. Sometimes, when Stiles was being particularly difficult, you even thought about flicking him right in his long-lashed, honeycomb eyes. You wondered if the Sheriff would arrest you if you— 
That’s right, your eyes rounded with the thought, Stiles is the Sheriff's son.
The recollection rang through every single one of your thoughts and echoed along the caverns of your skull, sparing you from ruminating on something far, far scarier. You were much more comfortable with deduction. 
Your brow furrowed as you pushed yourself over the counter to grab your backpack—sure that Maggie would misinterpret your impromptu exit, but too lost in through to really care—Stiles is the Sheriff's son. You forgot that sometimes. They were so different, after all, and you were certain that Stiles had broken the law at least a few times in his life, but he was. Stiles was the Sheriff's son, and he probably knew things that he shouldn’t. Things that were only kept in confidential files. Fortunately, you didn’t need to think that someone was cute to use them for information. 
“Methinks the Lady doth protest too much,” Maggie chirped. She was fiddling with her branches in the back again, picking the berries and dropping them into a little stone bowl. 
You scowled at the berries like it was their fault you were in this predicament, “Gertrude sucks.
“And yet she was correct,” Maggie tossed a berry at your forehead, and it landed dead-center on the tip of your nose, dripping a small trail of crimson juice onto your cupid’s bow. Maggie laughed until a burst of snorts consumed her giggles, and you scowled deeper as you wiped your nose clean with your sleeve.
“And yet, she’s the prime example of doing something stupid for a boy.” You made a point of flipping Maggie off before trudging towards the door.
You pushed the exit open with your shoulder—rushing to get home to your notebook and pens. Ideas had a way of slipping away from you; you liked to make them real. Tangible. Inked lines and loops that couldn’t be erased. 
Maggie cupped your cheeks before you could slither away to your car, startling you out of your head. “Don’t be Gertrude. Don’t be stupid,” Maggie said, incredibly solemn, but the twinkle of mischief in her eye ruined the 'Yoda effect'. 
You pursed your lips as your eyes flitted towards the side, “I’ll do my best to not marry my dead husband’s brother-killer.” The door swung shut behind you, cutting off the trill of Maggie’s laughter. 
You spent the rest of the night on your bed, sitting cross-legged with your notebook spread open across your lap. You tapped your pen against your knee and watched the blades on your ceiling fan spin into a fuzzy Saturn ring until your eyes watered. You were trying, and failing, to think of a way to ask Stiles for help without him making a big deal about it—contemplating if it was truly worth all the aggravation.
Sighing, you sketched random swirling lines in purple ink. They interconnected in a pretty pattern that eventually took the shape of the maze on your pendant. There was no way out of the labyrinth without breaking down a wall; it was hopeless, a path that never ended. People who entered the maze would be doomed to walk in circles until they littered the ground with their decomposing skeletons—and oh how you envied them. 
Stiles would never let it go; you were pretty damn sure of that. He would poke, and prod, and stick his upturned nose into your business until he'd thoroughly invaded your privacy and got all the answers to his meddlesome questions. He could never ju—
The sound of paper tearing dragged you out of your pitiful brooding, and you sighed. Your pen had ripped through the center of the maze. You held the page up to the light, and it shone through the hole, blinding you momentarily. 
There was no escaping the labyrinth—there was only pushing straight though. 
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You spent a lot of your time observing people lately. It wasn’t as creepy as it sounded, at least you hoped it wasn’t as creepy as it sounded. It was just…ever since Stiles dragged you back into the present—kicking, screaming, and bitching the entire way—you had been…overwhelmed by how alive everything was. It felt like so much had happened in the last four years. Everyone had gone on living while you’d hidden away in your mind and rotted in your room. 
You couldn’t put a name to the strange feeling twisting in your chest. You were angry, of course, so angry that people had the audacity to just… live, like there wasn’t a gigantic, bleeding void in the world that had yet to scar over—that might never truly close—but there was something else mixed in with the bitterness, something sweeter.
There was a certain kind of beauty, you mused, in the way they enjoyed such silly things. There was just something about the way they found joy in sparkly nail polish, and their favorite song, and a boy looking in their general direction that had you choking on a foreign warmth. Everyone had something, and it was beautiful to see people grow their worlds around the ugliness while you weren't so consumed with shrinking yours. 
Leaning back against your locker, you watched two freshmen girls walk side-by-side until a flock of tropical-scented, lip-gloss-coated sophomore girls passed them. The taller of the two trailed after them, linking arms with a blonde in the back of the pack. The shorter one watched their hair swish over their shoulders until they walked around the corner, absently tugging at a beaded bracelet on her wrist the entire time. 
In three weeks, she’d start eating lunch alone in the library, hiding in the dark book closet with outdated textbooks as her only companions. In five, they wouldn’t speak unless they had to. You gave the girl a weak smile when she accidentally made eye-contact. Sorry, babe, I read your future. You didn’t even need to see the girl’s palm. 
You pushed yourself off of your locker and shook your head a little, regrouping your thoughts as you slid into your seat next to Stiles. He looked tired. He was slumped over his desk, chin propped on his folded arms, and his eyelids hung heavily over the exhaustion coating his directionless gaze. He barely acknowledged your presence, grunting a little and nudging your foot with his. 
You hid your smile behind your English binder and turned in your seat to face him. “Hey,” you paused, bundling the meager bits and pieces of courage in your chest, and then said, “your perpetual nosiness—that extends to your dad too, right?”
Stiles’s head lulled to the side, cheek pressed against his folded arms, evidently too drained to sit-up. He trailed his squinted gaze over your face, eyes hooded and unblinking, “Why?”
“No reason.” You drummed your pencil against your desk and watched the long red arrow tick forward on the clock above the whiteboard. Stiles watched you fidget with a little sleepy smirk eased into the corners of his mouth, patient and still for the first time since you’d met. It was a shame you couldn’t revel in it. 
You lost the stalemate after your desperation became too thick to swallow, “I need to see a case file. There’s like…nothing on the internet or in Maggie’s local history sagas.” 
That got his attention. Stiles leaned forward, glimmering with intrigue and ill-intent, and said, “Which case?”
“None of your business,” you retorted reflexively. Stiles gave you an amused look and cupped his cheek in his palm, waiting for the inevitable apology. You withered against your chair and muttered, “Does it matter?”
He snorted and lifted a shoulder, “I have a right to know what I’m potentially putting my life on the line for; breaking and entering is a very serious crime, y’know.”
You huffed and glared a little at your clasped hands, “Somehow I know you’ve done worse.”
Stiles didn’t deny it. He just grinned proudly and scooted closer to you, “Seriously, what’s so important you’re willing to steal something from the police?”
“Not steal,” you corrected, a bit too petulantly for your liking, “just…borrow indefinitely.” 
“Uh huh,” Stiles pursed his lips and almost went cross-eyed scrutinizing your face, “so what’s so important you’re willing to ‘borrow’ classified information from the police ‘indefinitely’?”
You paused, not entirely sure how to answer his question without spilling over the edges and ruining everything. “I don’t know,” you admitted quietly, bowing your head a little. You picked at a hangnail until it was tender and inflamed, “Just a hunch, really. It’s probably nothing.”
Stiles tapped his fingers against his desk, fast and furious, and let out a dramatic puff of air, “I could help you if you’d, y’know, tell me literally one single thing about it.”
“I don’t need your help,” you scoffed, feet sliding out in front of you as you sunk into your chair. 
He cocked his head and hummed, looking far too smug for 7:45 in the morning, “Besides the whole ‘stealing my dad’s keycard and making it actually possible for you to read it’ thing, right?”
“You’re enjoying this way too much,” you mumbled, stalling the inevitable. It felt a little too much like losing to admit that you needed him—even though…you definitely needed him. It was a rather unfortunate fact you were fruitlessly still trying to deny.
Stiles rolled his eyes, neck too, and grabbed his backpack from the floor, “Forgive me for having a hobby.”
He opened his backpack, and you imagined, just for a moment, the zipper latching onto his mouth like a singularly-tentacled alien. It would solve all your problems; you could zip and unzip him whenever you wanted. If only. Sighing, you dropped your head against your knuckles, “Which is…irritating me?”
“Putting the pieces together,” Stiles dropped his coffee-warped, dogeared copy of Metamorphosis onto his desk and flipped to the assigned chapter. His eyes flicked from right to left, pace ridiculously fast, as he scanned through the pages. If it were anyone else, you would’ve assumed it was all for show. “I was a jigsaw kid,” he murmured, nose still stuck in his book.
Your lip stung as you gnawed on the cracking center, “If I tell you what I’m looking for, you’ll help me?”
“That,” Stiles punctuated his statement with a dramatic page flip, “and I might need a tiny favor from you.” He held his pointer finger and thumb together, almost touching, and flashed a toothy smile over the bent cover of his book, “Just an itty-bitty, very small, totally not a big deal favor.”
Your face turned thoroughly sour, “Oh god.”
Stiles rolled his eyes, like he didn’t just intentionally plant the seeds of dead bodies and false alibis in your mind two seconds ago, and huffed, “I just want to check on Lydia, okay? I think I’ll have a better chance of getting in through the front door with you.”
Your smirk flattened, “Why?”
His mouth hung open for a second, and then he shook his head firmly, peering at you through pinched lids, “You first.”
You fixed your gaze on your shoes, shifting your foot from left to the right, watching the fluorescent lights bounce off of the burgundy leather. The extra shine only made the scuffs on the toes more pronounced. “I want to look into the Hale fire, okay?” Your voice got trapped in your throat, so your tone wasn’t as biting as you wanted it to be, “Happy?”
You would’ve been content to keep staring at your boots until class ended, but your attention snapped back to Stiles when he inhaled sharply. He looked baffled, and maybe even a little green in the face, and you were starting to feel a little queasy yourself—nerves tended to turn your stomach upside-down and inside-out all in the same excruciatingly slow flip. His mouth was already ajar, but it took him several red-hand ticks to finally speak, “Why?” 
“Nuh uh,” you crossed your arms and sat upright, rolling your shoulders back, “you go now.”
Stiles was still looking at you with an odd expression on his face, a little too distracted to be difficult. He answered you without any inflection in his voice, “She didn’t show up for homeroom.”
Your intestines unspun with your faint inhale and then immediately dropped to the floor along with your heart as you let out a weak, trembling exhale, “...and?”
Stiles recovered from his momentary lapse in vexation and leaned onto his forearms, "And it’s your turn again.”
You wished you had a simple answer for him, and, even more so, you wished you were a better liar. “There’s kinda no way to answer that without trauma dumping all over you,” you mumbled, intensively examining the fine ridges in your nails. 
“I can handle a little trauma.” Stiles rapped his knuckles against the top of his head and smiled a little, “I’ve got nothin’ but space up here.” 
People always said that—that they’d be there for you no matter what, that they could handle anything—and then they got a real good look at the ugly of it all, at the dirty hair and rotting kitchen, at the prolonged silences and self-absorbed isolation. People usually took off running pretty quickly after that. At least, Lydia had.
“There haven’t been that many residential fire fatalities here. Just two cases, actually.” You chewed on your thumbnail and shrugged, “I know they said the Hale fire was an accident, but…maybe there’s a connection.” You swallowed, and your boot squeaked against the floor when you kicked at the ground, “Or maybe I’m just a dumbass with too much spare time.”
Stiles stared at you, and you could see the exact moment he connected the pieces. You were expecting the usual nauseating sympathy, the well-intentioned kindness that always flirted with the edge of pity, oftentimes landing smack-dab in the middle of it—but there wasn’t a drip of pity in his eyes. They were filled with grief; for you or for someone else, you didn’t know. Maybe it didn’t matter. More importantly, perhaps, his eyes were shining with…relief, pure and simple relief that nothing else needed to be said. 
“I’ll get you into the file room,” Stiles said, low and soft in his throat, and he didn’t look away from you until Scott slid in-between your desks. They did a complicated series of high-fives and hand-shakes with a few ‘knucks’ thrown in here and there for good measure. 
Before Scott sat down behind Stiles, he smiled in your direction. You looked past him, assuming Allison was behind you, and watched a red-breasted robin flit around a tree through the window. You saw Scott’s hand move in your peripheral vision, and when you tore your eyes away from the streak of scarlet feathers and blue sky, your lips tipped into a timid smile. Scott was waving at you; he was smiling at you. You didn’t know when your world went from no friends to two, but it felt oddly…normal. Smiling back at Scott, dodging Stiles’s kicks at your feet, trying not to laugh at their goofy faces. It felt like it was part of your routine, exactly the same as organizing your pens and pencils on top of your desk at the start of class, and just like that: normal twisted into terrifying. 
You chewed on the end of your pen when you felt Stiles’s gaze on the side of your face, “So…why do you want to see Lydia—besides your typical stalker behavior, obviously.” 
“You’re gonna feel like such an asshole,” Stiles grinned a little and nudged your toes, but there was something strange tucked in the corners of his mouth, something a bit grim, a bit afraid. Whatever it was, his cheeks didn’t dimple with his smile, and you gnawed on your lip once you realized that you not only noticed their absence but you missed them. 
You peeked at him from under your lashes and frowned when you saw that the crinkles at the corners of his eyes were gone too. Stiles’s grin eroded away to little more than a flat line once he started speaking again, “Jackson was attacked by…something last night—they’re saying mountain lion, but you and I both know that’s bullshit—anyway, she was pretty freaked out when my dad got there.”
You stiffened, spinal column drawing into a taut line from the crown of your skull to your tailbone, and your blood went cold. You already knew Lydia hadn't shown up for school today. You always knew—you felt Lydia’s absence just as fiercely as her presence. The air was just different somehow. You didn’t even have to look for her anymore; an innate rabbit-sense always reared its head when Lydia was too far away…when she was too close. Your instincts couldn’t agree on anything. They couldn’t decide if Lydia was a rabbit or a fox, and it was exhausting—but at the moment all you wanted, all you needed, was to make sure that Lydia hadn’t been torn apart by a monster with sharp claws and serrated teeth. 
“And she isn’t here,” you finally said, barely above a whisper.
“And she isn’t here,” Stiles echoed, just as quiet. 
“Okay,” your head bobbed with a decisive nod, knees moving before your mind had the chance to scold them, “let’s go.”
Stiles’s jaw unhinged alarmingly fast and comically wide, “Wha—now?”
You pushed everything on your desk into your backpack with a broad sweep of your arm and jerked your head towards the door, “Come on, before class starts.”
Stiles blinked at you for a few moments and then floundered for his things when you started walking out of the room without him. He stumbled into a desk in his rapid, ever-so clumsy efforts to catch up with you and twisted around to salute Scott’s empty chair. Apparently, neither of you had noticed his exit. It seemed it was a perfect morning for ditching class, but you didn’t dwell on the consequences for long. Your focus was single-minded and unwavering, and Stiles had to jog to keep up with your stalwart stride. 
“Since when are you so helpful,” he muttered, slightly out of breath. 
“I told you,” you gave him a wry smile and shoved the exit door open with your back, holding it for Stiles until he was halfway through the frame—and then you promptly stepped out of the way and watched the door swing shut on his backpack. Your lips twitched with a grin, “I’m a nice girl.”
Stiles yelped a little and looked over his shoulder, ensuring all his limbs were intact before yanking on his straps. His backpack smacked into his shoulders, and the heavy textbooks inside slammed together with a satisfying thump. You snickered and dodged his attempts to kick the back of your knees.
Glowering, Stiles switched tactics and tried to step on your nimble feet. Tragically for him, all the fire in his indignation was lost to his plush pout, “Since when?”
You rolled your eyes and waited next to his jeep, anxiously tracing little swirls in the dirt caked onto the passenger door, “Since I met you.” 
You missed the look on Stiles’s face, but that was for the best. His honeyed smile would’ve changed your mind, and you had an ex-best friend to attend to.
****************************
The jeep was quiet for the first few minutes of the drive—at least, it was as quiet as a decrepit clunker could be. There were various clangs and squeals in-between the engine’s low rumble, and a soft indie song filled the silences in-between, but the air felt still. Stiles was intently focused on the road ahead, thumbs drumming against the steering wheel to a beat of his own making, while you picked at your cuticles, cycling between anxiety and denial. It was a subliminal game of chicken that Stiles eventually lost. 
After a few false starts, Stiles blurted out, “You ever gonna tell me what happened?”
You stared straight ahead, through the bug-splattered windshield and down the winding street, “Nope.”
“Fine. That’s fine.” Stiles flexed his fingers against the steering wheel, straightening them to their impressive full-length, and then wrapped them around the wheel again. His grip was as tight as the grit of his teeth, “I don’t even want to know anyway.” You lulled your head to the side to smirk at him, but you kept your mouth thoroughly closed. Stiles’s gaze flicked in your direction briefly, and then he directed his eye roll towards the road, “I don’t. Keep your boring secret.”
You settled further into the passenger seat and propped your feet on the dash, grin warm with satisfaction, “I will.”
The beat of Stiles’s thumbs sped up, thundering against ‘9’ and ‘3’ while you hummed along to the trickle of piano and acoustic guitar strumming through the cracked speakers. The time on the dash display flickered from 8:15 to 8:16, and Stiles let out a long, drawn-out groan, “Will you just tell me! It’s killing me. Seriously, I’m going to credit you in my epitaph. ‘Here lies Stiles Stilinski: Another Victim of Gaslighting, Gatekeeping, and Girlbossing.’”
“They say you always remember your first,” you sighed dreamily, battering your butterfly lashes. The mole on the hinge of his jaw jumped with a harsh swallow, and you grinned. 
Stiles snorted and then immediately grimaced like he was irritated with his mouth for having the audacity to laugh in the midst of his despair. “Good to know I’m just part of a pattern.”
“I don’t know about that,” you hummed, resting your temple against the window. The morning sun warmed your skin and washed your face with a glimmer of gold that glittered with the devilry in your eyes. You smirked at Stiles and poked the mole just below his earlobe, “I have yet to meet anyone as homicidally inspiring as you.”
He pulled a face to hide his smile as the jeep puttered to a stop against the curb, and you looked over his shoulder, blinking slowly. You hadn’t realized you were so close to Lydia’s house until you were parked in front of it. 
The colonial estate loomed largely through the window. The long white pillars stood oppressively alongside the double entrance, and the meticulously manicured lawn screamed ‘keep off’ louder than any sign or barbed-wire fence. Lydia’s house had always been more like a monument than a home: an art installation, an antique, something to be admired not loved.
Tilting your head, you squinted at the familiar windows and counted along the second floor until you found Lydia’s room. The heavy purple curtains were drawn closed, and you were a little surprised that Lydia hadn’t redecorated in the last couple years. It was probably different on the inside; sixteen was a little old for dollhouses and princess crowns.
Growing up, Lydia’s room had been stocked with every Barbie accessory on the market, and yet you'd always played Barbies at your house. Every single time. When her dad was home, Lydia’s house had teetered between too quiet and too loud. A constant vague unease hung heavily in the air, even with the volume on her CD player turned all the way up. No boy band could drowned out all the screaming and icy silences, but you'd tried. Oh how you'd tried. It happened so often, you’d eventually gotten used to the noise, but you could tell it’d bothered Lydia, no matter how unbothered she’d tried to seem. 
In comparison, your house was a Dreamhouse. It had been so warm before it became empty. Your mom always had something baking in the oven, and Lydia had never looked more at home than when she was tucked on your window seat, plate of brownies by her side, with your mom’s gentle hands braiding her hair out of her face. You hadn’t ever minded sharing; Lydia had needed the attention more than you did. She was so much softer than people gave her credit for, far more fragile than they’d ever know. 
In spite of her current taste in boys, Lydia used to be a steadfast romantic. She'd always wanted to reenact the romance novels stacked on her nightstand, a little heartbreak before the inevitable happily ever after. She read so voraciously there was a new plot to perform every day. You were also a bookworm, but your tastes had inspired morbid hits such as Black Widow Barbie and Dreamhouse Zombie Outbreak. You usually took turns, or Barbie ended up falling in love with zombie Ken until he chomped on her arm. 
“Not her brains,” Lydia had always insisted, “Barbie is the brains of the relationship.” 
Lydia, you would argue, Lydia was the brain. The only one that mattered.
Warm skin on your knuckles gently drew you back into the present. Stiles’s brow was pinched with concern, and his hand lingered on yours until you brushed him off with a shake of your head—but, as you’d come to learn the last couple weeks, Stiles Stilinski was nothing if not relentless. He leaned into your side as you walked along the lengthy driveway, sending you stumbling a few paces to the right. You glared at him, but it was watered down with stubborn affection. His mouth curled into a lopsided grin, and you forgot about the nerves wriggling up your esophagus until Stiles rang the doorbell. They came back full force when you heard a pair of high heels clicking towards them. 
Lydia’s mom peered out the door. She looked confused as she took in Stiles’s smile, stretched far too wide to look even remotely casual. Then, her gaze landed on you and her face broke out into a bright grin, “Y/N?”
You’d almost forgotten how beautiful she was; beauty ran just as deeply as old money in the Martin family. Lydia was born with her mom’s golden-red hair and hazel eyes, and they had the same dimpled smile. It was always difficult to see anything beyond the brilliance of their perfect teeth and incandescent skin. 
“Come here,” Mrs. Martin pulled you into a tight hug and cupped the back of your head with a steady hand. Your arms remained stiff by your sides, voice sticky in your throat. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d been hugged like this; the realization hurt more than you thought it would.
After a moment, your shoulders slumped, and you turned your face into Mrs. Martin’s shoulder. She still smelled the same, like patchouli and luxury, “Hi.”
She held you out at arm's-length, hands on your shoulders, and shook her head, “There’s no way that this beautiful young woman is the same little girl who tried to keep a frog colony in my guest bathroom. I can’t be that old.”
“You literally look exactly the same,” you smiled a little and rubbed your bicep.
“It has been far, far too long.” She smoothed out the wrinkles in your sleeves and then stepped back into the doorframe, “What can I do for you?”
“I…” your mouth went dry, and you looked everywhere except Mrs. Martin’s face. Your eyes flashed between the silver door knockers, the winding ivy, the sculpted shrubs. Everything was exactly the same. Nothing, not even the house, had noticed your absence. 
“We came to check on Lydia,” Stiles nudged your shoulder, and you blinked a few times. Mrs. Martin was watching you with big emphatic eyes—and you hated it. 
You swallowed and nodded, “Yeah…we brought her homework.”
“Come in.” She paused and pinched the bridge of her nose with freshly manicured nails, “She took a little something to relax herself, so please excuse…well, just be prepared.” Mrs. Martin sighed, and for the first time it looked like the last four years had actually aged her. She attempted a smile, but it was shriveled at the corners, “You remember the way, don’t you?”
A nod rolled up your neck to your head. You couldn’t find the words to tell Mrs. Martin that you weren’t the same girl anymore. You almost felt like her in this house: small, wild, still full of dreams. You crept up the curved staircase slowly, delaying the inevitable, and ran your fingers along the iron railing. You broke your arm falling off of it nine years ago. It was a nasty fracture that put you in a cast all summer, but it’d seemed worth it at the time. At least, you’d thought so. Your mom and Mrs. Martin hadn’t agreed with your assessment at the hospital.
You felt a twinging urge to run to the top of the stairs and slide down the railing until you became dizzy—and just like that, you were seven years old again, and you weren't scared of death or ending up alone. 
“You coming?” Stiles called from the top of the stairs. 
You nodded stiffly and pushed past him to the last door on the left. You held your hand on the doorknob and pressed your tongue against the roof of your mouth, scowling at the anxiety crawling under your skin. You were being ridiculous. It wasn’t like you were the one who ended up in an ambulance last night.
You rapped your knuckles against the door a few times, even though it was already cracked open wide enough to catch a glimpse of the raspberry walls and flower chandelier. “Lyds–ia. Lydia,” you cleared your throat and peeked into Lydia’s room, “it’s me. I mean, it’s Y/N.” Stiles nudged you in the ribs, and you sighed, “And Stiles.”
Lydia was face-down on her four-poster bed, slowly combing her fingers through her unbrushed hair. She smacked her lips together a few times, and then her head popped up from her mountain of throw pillows, “You still haven’t explained what the hell a Stiles is.”
You snorted and shot Stiles a pointed look. He pursed his lips and glanced around the room until he spotted a little bottle of pills on top of her vanity. He read the lengthy label and let out a low whistle, “Bet you can’t say, ‘I saw Sally sell seashells by the seashore.’”
Lydia swung her legs over the foot of her bed and leaned forward, eyes sparking with bullheaded determination. “I saw….I saw…” The light in her eyes faded as she drifted off to a place no one else could see.
You sat down next to her and grabbed her hand. You didn’t have to tell your body to move; it knew before you did. Finding Lydia when she was lost, it was like…swimming to the surface, shivering in a storm, bracing for a fall. It was an instinct so deeply rooted in your soul you couldn’t rip it out without rupturing an artery. You watched Lydia’s eyes focus on your face, felt her fingers lace with yours, and all you knew was the slow thump of Lydia’s pulse against your thumb.
Lydia squeezed your hand and swiveled to face you. Her eyes were still cloudy, but something warm dawned behind the fog. You felt the pit in your stomach roll. Lydia sighed happily, “There you are. I was looking for you.”
“Well,” you almost choked on the lump in your throat and struggled to support Lydia’s weight as she went boneless against your side, “here I am.” You searched for some assistance with Lydia’s rapidly sinking frame, but Stiles was busy poking around every nook and cranny in the room. “Stiles,” you snapped. 
He wrenched his hand away from Lydia’s bottle of Dior perfume, purple just like the rest of the room, and clasped it behind his back. “What?” 
You gestured violently towards Lydia's wilting spine and rolled your eyes when he tripped over a discarded boot in his, frankly pathetic, haste to get to Lydia’s other side. You gently maneuvered her until she was propped up against her pillows. 
“Don’t go away again, okay?” Lydia licked her lips and looked like she was about to cry—so much like a scared little girl, your heart clenched. “I keep losing you.”
“I,” you stared at her with wide eyes, and the bottle of pills enveloped your peripheral vision, “I just wanted to see if you were alright…after last night.”
“Last night,” Lydia slurred, nuzzling back against her pillows.
“Yeah, last night,” Stiles folded his arms over his chest and arched his brow, “remember anything about it?”
“I remember…” Lydia looked like she was going to cry again, eyes glassy and round, but the chemical high quickly swept over the tide, “I remember a mountain lion.”
Stiles’s head tipped back between his shoulder blades, and his cheeks slowly puffed into pink little domes as he held his breath. Apparently, there was one thing more powerful than Stiles Stilinski’s obsession with Lydia Martin: his impatience. Stiles’s lips puckered as a loud sigh whooshed through his teeth. He crouched down to Lydia’s eye-level, “You remember seeing a mountain lion, or you remember them telling you it was a mountain lion?”
Lydia hummed and nodded until her hair fell in front of her face, “Mountain lion.”
“Jesus Christ,” Stiles reached for a stuffed giraffe next to her shoulder and shook it in her face, “what’s this?”
“Mountain lion,” Lydia’s head bobbed sharply. 
You snatched the stuffed animal out of Stiles’s hand, scowling as you bludgeoned his arm with the giraffe’s head. “Leave her alone. She’s doped out of her mind.” 
“Clearly,” Stiles snorted, watching Lydia curl a strand of her hair around her finger, completely entranced by the frizzy strands. 
“What did you want her to say?” You smoothed a few stray hairs sticking up from the crown of Lydia’s head back into place and met Stiles’s gaze, face impassive, “Werewolf?”
He opened his mouth and gaped like a particularly brainless fish. Before he could come up with a coherent answer—or any kind of answer, actually—Lydia’s text-tone chimed. Stiles dove across the bed for her phone, but you smacked his hand with the giraffe before he could touch it. “You are so not reading her texts, lonely boy.”
“I was just trying to help.” Stiles flopped onto her vanity chair and crossed his arms, squirming sullenly, “She can barely string two words together, let alone an actual thought.”
“I’m sure whatever it is can wait until she’s good and hungover tomorrow.” You glanced down at Lydia’s phone and paused. It was a video file. From an unknown number. 
“Hey,” Lydia poked her head up and pointed at Stiles until the weight of her arm became too much to bear. It fell on top of her stomach like a limp noodle, “You.”
“Me,” Stiles squeaked. 
You muted the video and made sure Stiles was sufficiently distracted by the curl of Lydia’s finger before you pressed play. Nothing happened at first. The video was shot in a strange, almost voyeuristic style, and the lighting was terrible, so dim you could barely tell that the camera was facing a large window. You squinted and made out the video store’s sign flickering above the door. So, this was from last night. Weird—but at least it wasn’t revenge porn; that had been your first guess. 
You’d almost given up on finishing the video, and then the camera angle moved. Two red eyes flashed in the darkness, a large…something smashed through the glass, and you bit down on your thumbnail so hard blood welled through the sidewalls. 
It was a goof, obviously. Some kind of poorly edited creepypasta. A cruel prank someone sent Lydia after they heard what happened last night. Had to be. Your hands shook as you sent yourself the video, and then you deleted it from Lydia’s phone. Your number, you realized once you stopped seeing red, was still saved as ☀️✨Babe!!!!✨☀️ in Lydia’s contacts. It took you longer than it should have to delete the sent message.
“If you’re done fighting your erection, we should get going.” Your voice sounded remarkably even, considering how scattered your mind was. It was certainly more composed than the babble spewing from Stiles’s mouth.
“I do not have—it’s not like—I wasn’t—she thought I was someone else.”
“Ah,” your phone felt heavy in your pocket, “real boner killer.”
Stiles sighed through his nose, “New rule, you can't make fun of anything I do or say when Lydia's in my fuckin' lap. Starting now."
He must’ve known something was wrong when you didn’t argue. That, and the way you practically sprinted out of the house to avoid seeing anyone else. Your hands were still shaking when you crawled into the jeep, and Stiles shot about a dozen little furious, concerned glances in your direction, but you couldn’t seem to move your tongue. 
Your bottom lip quivered. Your chest tightened until your ribs corseted your lungs. The screech of your ground teeth sent an unpleasant chill down your spine, but you’d rather choke on a chipped tooth than let the beast howling in your throat escape—the last thing you needed was to cry in the passenger seat next to Stiles Stilinski.
You were clearly losing your mind; everyone said it was only a matter of time—watching a loved one burn to death tended to have that effect on a person. Not that you remembered much, but you were clearly off your rocker if you were having vivid, day-time hallucinations of red-eyed monsters roaming the streets of Beacon Hills. 
You wiped your sweat-damp palms on your dress and bounced your leg up and down, driving your heel into the floor over and over again—and then you felt a solid warmth over your knee. Your eyes were a little wild when you followed the trail of Stiles’s arm to his face, and the divot between his brows deepened when he met your gaze, “Hey, she’s going to be okay. You know that, right?”
Your head jerked with a quick nod, and you sucked in a few shallow breaths, “I know.” The air got stuck in your chest, and your heart flapped erratically as the back of your eyelids played reruns of a familiar film starring your narrowing trachea. You dug your toes into the dusty floor mat, scrambling for any kind of grasp on reality, and choked on your words, “Her mom always…had…the good shit.”
Stiles kept his hand on your knee and then shook his head, pulling over against the curb and putting the jeep in park. “You don’t have to talk, but you gotta breathe.”
It took you a moment to realize that he was squeezing your kneecap in even intervals. You inhaled and exhaled with the flex of his joints until the panic receded enough for embarrassment to heat your cheeks. You slammed your head back against the seat and stared at the steel roof. You hoped that if you ignored the tears bubbling along your lash line, they’d instantaneously evaporate before they could spill onto your cheeks, “Fuck. I’m sorry. I don’t usually…this hasn’t happened in a long time.”
“Nothing I haven’t seen before.” Stiles chewed on his cheek and pulled his hand back into his lap. He drummed his fingers against his kneecap and then spoke softly, “I used to get ‘em too. Sucked.” Stiles stared out the dashboard, watching but not really seeing dead leaves swirl in little circles over the asphalt, “Happened a lot after my mom died.”
You froze for a moment, and you couldn’t stop yourself from staring. You realized, belatedly, that you hadn’t ever heard the Sheriff talk about his wife, not even once in the last four years, even though he wore a gold band on his left ring finger. It hadn’t even occurred to you to ask. 
You never had the right words to explain it. For a long time, you spoke in ripples at therapy, incomprehensible circles that skirted the point in an endless loop—but you realized, as you got stuck on the honey in Stiles’s eyes, you didn’t need the right words here. With him. In fact, you didn’t really need any words at all. “Me too.”
Stiles watched your eyes steadily, and his fingers stilled against his legs, “Yeah?”
You nodded and swallowed a little, “Yeah.”
A smile tugged on his mouth, tangled with too many paradoxes to parse in the soft, short moment humming between you. You smiled back at him, far more timidly, but that wasn’t a surprise. He was brave, you decided, much braver than you. It was contagious. 
Your tongue darted out, licking your chapped lips, and you clung to the fragile current of courage lapping against the back of your teeth. “We just stopped talking.” 
Stiles glanced at you, clearly confused. 
“Lydia and I.” You knotted your fingers in the hem of your dress and tugged on it every time you felt the stopper in your throat start to swell, “We just stopped being friends after my mom died. That’s why I didn’t…I mean, there’s not really a story to tell. We were close, and then I woke up one day, and we weren’t anymore.”
Stiles turned until he was facing you, leaning against the door and struggling to find a comfortable angle for his long legs. “Most people…they’re okay with the funeral part ‘cause it’s pretty simple—y’know: hold hands, bring food, pretend no one’s crying. And then after comes, and they can’t figure out what to do because it’s over but it’s not.”
“Limbo,” you mirrored his position and pulled your knees to your chest, rocking the soles of your boots from heel to toe like small patent leather boats adrift on a sea of faded nylon, “it’s limbo, and everyone else is so incredibly, hideously alive.” 
The relief was back in Stiles’s eyes, and you were swimming in it. He nodded and bent his knees, scooching his feet until the toes of his sneakers were pressed against yours. “Yeah," he exhaled, and the moment felt important, like something you were supposed to remember on your deathbed. You tried to memorize the look on Stiles's face, but you didn't know where to start. How could you etch infinity?  
“It wasn’t just her,” you admitted out loud for the first time. 
“Yeah,” Stiles shrugged a little and gave you a grin that brought the dimples back to his cheeks, and you couldn’t help but smile at their reappearance, “but we can pretend it was, just for today.” 
You let out a breath that felt like a laugh and lifted your toes, dropping them on top of his and pressing until they were pinned beneath the tread of your boots. He narrowed his eyes and wriggled his feet free, fighting your scurrying ankles with his tongue trapped between his teeth. His triumphant cry when he finally caught the tip of your laces was just enthusiastic enough to coerce another laugh through your clamped lips. 
The soft smile Stiles gave you while you laughed made his body go lax and the back of your neck warm. You quickly bent over to retie your laces, and he turned to restart the engine. 
“I should probably get us back to school,” Stiles ran his hand over his head. “My dad'll kill me if I get marked truant again.”
“It’s parent teacher conferences tonight,” you recalled as the words left your mouth. You slunk down in your seat, chin catching on the seatbelt, “I’ve never skipped school before. I have no idea what my dad’s gonna say.”
Stiles’s attention shifted from the road to your profile, “Really?”
“What?” you crossed your arms over your chest and blew your hair out of your eyes.
“Nothing,” Stiles tried to hide his smirk, but it was too sharp to cover with a cough, “it’s just…hasn’t everyone skipped at least once?”
“What would I even do?” The corner of your mouth tugged into a dry smile, “Visit my catatonic ex-best friend?”
Stiles nodded agreeably, and then his head danced from side to side, rolling over other options, “Or bowling. Bowling is fun.”
You grumbled a little in your throat and sunk further into the cradle of your hips, “I hate bowling.”
Stiles grinned, “Yeah, me too.”
Pausing, your bottom lip wormed its way between your teeth, “I’d play D&D with you, though.” 
“Really?”
“Mhm,” you watched the sun disappear behind the tree line over the hill and ignored the feeling of being examined like a bacterial petri dish.
“See, we are friends. The best of friends, actually. Two peas in the proverbial pod.”
And, well, you couldn’t really disagree.
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aoo1vyi · 7 hours
Text
𝗔𝗙𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝗖𝗔𝗥𝗘-𝗝𝗔𝗘𝗠𝗜𝗡
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𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁-524
𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴-𝗯𝗳 𝗷𝗮𝗲𝗺𝗶𝗻 𝘅 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿
𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲-𝗳𝗹𝘂𝗳𝗳 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗮??, 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗸𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗲𝘀 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝘀𝘂𝗴𝗴𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲
𝗮𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗷𝗮𝗲𝗺𝗶𝗺 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿...
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after care with jaemin was amazing. it always felt so real
you two had just finished going at it for hours and hours, jaemin couldn’t get enough of you and he always needed more
your body was so sore, your eyes closed as you just laid there , it was the only thing you could do
you felt tiredness and your body , as you also felt the love of your boyfriends words
“𝘀𝗵𝗵 𝗯𝗮𝗯𝘆... 𝗶 𝗴𝗼𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗯𝗮𝗯𝘆 ..." he mumbled in your ear as his hands wonder all over you body trying to calm you down from your high
he placed a kiss on your forehead ever so softly as you let out a sigh of tiredness
“𝗺𝗺.. 𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗶𝘁 .. 𝗶𝘁 𝗵𝘂𝗿𝘁𝘀 𝗷𝗮𝗲𝗺...", your voice came out as a whisper as your hands slowly made their way to his hair , getting your fingers tangled in them
“𝗶 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 .. 𝗶 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝗯𝗮𝗯𝘆.. 𝗶𝗺 𝘀𝗼𝗿𝗿𝘆 .. 𝗺' 𝘀𝗼 𝘀𝗼𝗿𝗿𝘆" he sighed as his right hand came up to her hair slowly pushing it out her face
“𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗶𝗱 𝘀𝗼 𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗲 𝗯𝗮𝗯𝘆... 𝘀𝗼 𝘀𝗼 𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱.. 𝗻𝗮𝗻𝗮 𝘀𝗼 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗱 𝗼𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂..." he smiles as he gently started to place soft kisses on her neck as he lifted up so he could look at her face
how couldn’t he look at her face ?, his beautiful girlfriend doing so good for him, looking so so pretty after sex
"𝗹𝗲𝘁 𝗺𝗲 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗯𝗮𝗯𝘆.. 𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗵?" he softly said as his eyes searched for yours
“𝗺𝗺𝗺 𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗷𝗮𝗲𝗺..." you say as you looked him the eyes
as his soft hands go to your hairs tying your hair up in to a ponytail, as the bath was already running for you
after care with jaemin meant he was going to take cate of you, you didn’t have to do a single thing , like he would ever let you
as you both got into the bathtub he runs soap over your body , as he taps your knee for you to keep to your chest so he could get the sensitive spots as well
"𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗹𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗯𝗮𝗯𝘆..?, 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹𝘀 𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱? 𝗶𝗺 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗵𝘂𝗿𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁.?" he muttered as he continued to clean her body gently
"𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 ... 𝗶𝗺 𝗼𝗸𝗮𝘆 𝗯𝗮𝗯𝘆.." you smile up at him as all you could do is look at him, admire him.. thinking he was the best boyfriend someone could ask for
he carefully helped you out the tub as he wraps your body with a towel as he puts you against his chest walking out of the bathroom with you
he gently blow dries your hair as he puts one of his oversized shirts over you, as both of you finally laying down on the bed again
"𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗯𝗮𝗯𝘆..?" he hugs you tightly smiling as he looks down at her face
“𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗵.. 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗸 𝘆𝗼𝘂 ." you softly say as you snuggled up against his chest, just wanting to be close to him
"𝗺𝗺 𝗶𝗺 𝗴𝗹𝗮𝗱.." he chuckles softly as he let her do whatever she wanted , you were his baby
"𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗯𝗮𝗯𝘆.." his eyes look down at her as his gently hands caress her hairs softly
"𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲..”
𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲-i really had so much fun writing this!!, I hope you guys will like it too! (feedback is always needed!) if you like to support please give a like or a reblog!!
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tbaluver · 3 days
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can i request the lnd boys with a reader who is just astronomically good at giving head 😼😼
Giving Them Head + Small Fic- The Love And DeepSpace Men
parings in order: Xavier x Reader, Zayne x Reader, Rafayel x Reader, Sylus x Reader genre/ tags: MDNI, 18+, all male characters receiving head from reader, just smut no plot a/n: hihi anonnie! 😼😼 i've had a couple people ask me about writing this but i literally cannot find the anonnies asking me for this so if you're one of them i hope this finds you and you enjoy reading this ! i combined a headcanon + a small smut fic with no plot (': by the time i post this it'll be my birthday so this think of it as a little gift to you all ! ⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ if it's not good and there's mistakes ummmm lmk after my birthday ദ്ദി ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ ) any likes and reblogs are always appreciated! enjoy!
⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆
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Xavier:
An obedient precious baby boy who lets you do as you please on his cock.
He’s always making sure you’re okay with it and that you didn’t feel pressured to do anything. He prefers you to be enjoying yourself when you do it. He's just so gentle and careful with you. “Are you sure? Please don’t hurt yourself angel.”
Loves it when you give him light touches around his thighs. He already has pre-cum dripping from his cock the second you take off his underwear.
If you want to be in control, he’ll keep his hands to himself and grip anything around him. If he’s allowed to be in control, he’ll keep his hand on the back of your neck and thrusting up into your mouth.
When he finishes, he makes sure you’re absolutely alright before pressing the softest and sweetest kisses to your cheeks and neck. He’s more than willing to return the favor and it’s only a matter of time to be back in between your legs.
────୨ৎ────
“Are you sure?”
“It’s okay baby. I’m going to make you feel good.”
Your hand comes to rest comfortably against his member, slowly rubbing up and down against the tent that was forming under your palm. Fluttering your eyelashes at him, you catch a glimpse of his eyes that were closed shut and his mouth parting open as his hips rock lazily against your hand.
You look up at him, tugging the waistband of his pants as if you were asking for his permission. With a nod of his head, you tug the fabric down as he lifts his hips from the couch. You snake your hands all over his exposed skin making it painfully slow and light.
You take his half-hard cock in your hand, pumping him slowly. A breathy moan escapes his lips as your index finger traces the waistband of his briefs before you pull them all the way down, letting him spring free from the confines of his underwear.
Xavier watches you intently, his chest rising and falling with anticipation. He watches you lick your lips at the sight of his hot pink tip and throbbing length. Your fingers grip him softly, the touch of your skin against his sent his body into overdrive.
You grip him tightly and pump him a few times slowly. You start at the base and stop just before the head where pre-cum was already peeking through the slit. Bringing your tongue out, you lift his cock and run a wet trail through the vein on the underside. Soft moans and filthy mewls invade your ears as his hips buck into your hands.
You let your thumb swipe over the small pearls that had formed on his head, spreading the secretion across his hot pink head before giving it kitten licks. “Feel good baby?” You ask as your hands pump his lengths. He manages to let out a nod and your tongue darts over him while his thighs flex and tremble under your touch.
You bring up your hand from his leg to his throbbing head, letting your fingers squeeze and ghost over it before fisting and pumping him a couple times.
“Y/N-” He chokes out his words, his eyes screwing shut again as your tongue traces a wet trail up the underside vein of his cock again, flicking it off at the end that makes him suck in a sharp breath.
“Please-Y/n” He pleaded and you finally gave in, wrapping your lips around his tip. He softly groaned as you sunk down slowly on his length and began bobbing your head. His whole body feels like it was on fire as you took him further, his whole body screaming for you. You hollow out your cheeks and flutter your tongue against him and he can feel the familiar build up coming. 
He started bucking his hip into your mouth, hitting his tip on the back of your throat, earning a whine from you. You moved one of your free hands down further to his balls, cupping them in your palm.
He didn’t want to jerk his hips slightly or harder or fist your hair, worrying that it might hurt you. With a hum of your throat, signaling him that it was okay to let go and you felt rockets of his seed hit the back of your throat and you continued to suck harder.
You work through his high, milking him and taking every single drop down your throat he had to give you until you start feeling him limp in your mouth. You remove yourself from him, giving him a wet kiss on his head before looking up at him.
A heavenly sight to look at, his face flushed pink and his mouth hung open with wet trails-possibly from drooling. You settle on top of him, leaning against his chest as he weaves his fingers gently through your hair.
He places a soft and sweet kiss on the top of your head, “Let me take care of you now?”
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Zayne:
It would take quite a bit of convincing to give this man head. It’s not that he doesn’t want you too, he just prefers to give you pleasure instead. He gets off on you getting pleasure alone. No matter how many times you tried to go down on him, he would simply lift you back onto his lap, or you’d find yourself flat on the mattress again.
His ears are bright red and his breath catches when your hand slowly strokes him and then soon after your lips meet his tip and slowly you bob down to his length. Your soft moans around him lets him know you’re enjoying it as much as he is.
His head slightly falls back, his eyes lid heavier and he’ll be watching you very closely. He’s enjoying the view and the pleasure but he will not hesitate to step in if he sees any tears forming in your eyes if it were too much for you. Listen he’s BIG so obviously he will be worried hearing and seeing you choke and gag on his cock. The type of man that loves to see you so he'll brush your hair out of your face and he'll hold it over your head.
Soft groans in the beginning but eventually will become deeper when you fasten the speed. Also let's out small curses and pants the entire time you're going down on him. Your mouth is just so wet, warm, and tight for him. He's enjoying every bit of it.
His breath catches when your hand slowly strokes him and your mouth meets his tip and you slowly bob down to fully engulf his entire length in your mouth. Completely loses his composure when you give his balls some attention and sorta becomes a babbling mess under you. He struggles to form complete sentences as he moans how amazing you feel.
When he finishes and you swallow everything he gives you, he pulls you up into his lap as he’s stroking your cheeks so tenderly. You both catch your breath as he pulls you close to his chest, planting gentle kisses on your forehead while he praises you and promises to return the favor.
Definitely enjoys it the first time and will not deny you again if you wanted to go down on him again. You have like a drug to him and he can't help but want more.
His favorite position is that he's laying down or sitting down so you'll be in a more comfortable position.
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Zayne sucks in a sharp breath as he watches you wrap your soft pretty lips around his hard length, slowly sinking it into your mouth. your eyes stay on his as you go down lower and lower down his shaft and then back up again. His head slightly tilts back and his eyes flutter closed, letting out a soft groan as he feels your tongue touch and swirl circles over his tip. You take your time with him at first, letting him fully lose his composure and relax.
Your tongue runs up and down his length, wetting him fully before you take him back into your mouth again. Using your free hand to stroke what your mouth can’t reach as your head bobs up and down.
A sharp breath escapes his lips, “You feel so good my love.” He tilts his head back, his gaze returning to you but this time his eyes look darker and his lid looks heavier. “Pretty girl” He murmurs small praises as your mouth works him up.
Your pace quickens sucking and stroking him with hunger. You continue to remove your mouth off him to spit on his tip before returning to taking his shaft back in your mouth again. His hands tangle into your hair, pulling so softly on the strands as he loses himself in the rhythm you created.
His head falls back into the pillow, his eyes clenching shut and you knew he was close. His skin was warmer than it usually was and you notice the way his abs clench and his length throbs in your mouth. Your mouth enthusiastically swallows around him while your hands massage his balls to meet towards his climax.
His orgasm courses through him, soft cursing spilling from his lips. His hips stutter and his thighs shake slightly on either side of you, the waves of pleasure rocking through his body. Thick white ropes of his cum spill on your tongue and he’s practically melting right under you.
You continue, your mouth, tongue, and hands are still going down on him. His cum and your saliva dripping down his length and over his balls as you continue to suck him thoroughly.
“That’s enough my love.” His voice now hoarse, the last part coming out in a soft whimper. You release him with a wet pop and he groans. You give his sensitive tip a couple soft kisses before climbing on top of him. When you look up at him, his face is flushed in a soft pink and his ears glowing bright red.
He wraps his arms around you, your stomach resting against him and your legs tangling together. He plants gentle kisses on the top of your head before nuzzling into you.
“How did I get so lucky?” He murmurs.
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Rafayel:
The first time you ever gave him head, he was a feral mess under your hands. The sight of his pretty hot pink tip out and his length wrapped around your fingers made you practically drool as you stroke him. The way you occasionally look at him through your pretty lashes as you try to take him his entire length, makes him cum on the spot and you haven’t even taken him fully in your mouth yet.
He tries his best to control himself but the moment your lips engulf his weeping cock, he lets out a strangled moan and his head is thrown back. The way your mouth felt around the sensitive head of his cock felt so wonderful, he’s a babbling mess asking-begging for more of you to fully take him. And of course you will, you never disappoint him.
You bobbed your head up and down, taking a little bit more of his length at your own pace while your other free hand fondles his balls. The mix of pleasure and seeing you go down him like this- it was as if he was on a high or if he was just so entranced by you. It’s as if you were some type of siren or sea witch and he was under your spell.
He doesn’t care where his cum goes. You can swallow it or not. He just wants to paint your lovely lips with his white fluids.
He’s very vocal and loud. He’s a whimpering mess once you begin to lick the pre-cum leaking from his tip til he finishes.
Once he catches his breath, he’ll pull you up into his lap and envelop you in a lingering, passionate kiss. He does not care or complain about the fact that your mouth tastes like him. He’ll tell you how you’re so good to him and how amazing you are.
Practically becomes addicted to your mouth and fantasizes about how you treat his cock so well.
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Smirking, he traces his thumb along your bottom lip, humming with appreciation as you wrap your lips around the digit. He holds back a groan as you sucked it gently as your eyes fluttered shut. He lets you suck on his finger for a moment longer, the images lewd images of your mouth wrapped around something else flashing in his mind.
He withdraws his thumb from your mouth a pop. “Is there anything else on your highness mind?” Rafayel arched his brow as you nodded eagerly.
“Enlighten me”
You moved off from his lap entirely and went down onto your knees in between his legs. You smile sinfully as your fingers make contact with his belt. He was leaning back into the couch, his dress shirt unbuttoned, revealing his sculpted chest that was marked with a few spots from your kisses.
He helps you remove his pants and boxers down before you push him back down on the couch. There was no doubt he was big, the sight alone of it standing up proudly made your mouth water. Bigger than any man you have seen before and you wondered if it was because he was a Lemurian.
You maintained eye contact with Rafayel as you wrapped your hand around his girth, smirking at the way he lets out a quiet whimper and how he drops his head back. He spreads his thighs further apart to give you more room to work with.
“Look at me Raf,” You stroke his length in your hand, “Want to see how good I make you feel.” 
His breath hitches as his dick twitches in your palm. Half-lidded eyes fluttered as he looked down at you and your movements. How he wishes he can save the image of you on your knees and jerk off to it.
Your tongue swiped over the head of his dick, collecting the pre-cum on your tongue. It was music to your ears to hear the way he chokes and whimpers out your name from your movement. You take his length deeper into your mouth, your tongue massaging over the vein on the underside of his dick.
He groans deeply as he watches his length disappear past your lips slowly. He was resisting the urge to buck his hips up toward your mouth and push your head further down his length. “Y/nnnnn,” He whimpered your name, as you rested your hand on top of his thighs as you moved back with a sly grin.
“Do whatever you want,” You hum, your lips covered in a mixture of his cum and your saliva as you licked your lips. “I can handle it.”
That was all he needed as his hand was in your hair, guiding your face back down to suck on his cock. His thighs tensed as he pushed your head almost all the way down so that the head of his dick nudged the back of your throat which caused you to gag.
The sound and feel of it made his head drop back in pleasure, “sososo good- just like that-hah- fuck” His words and praises had you moaning over his length as he curled his fingers in your hair to guide you up and down. “please don’t stop,” he moans as your fingers dig further into his thighs.
You watched the way his mouth parts open in a moan as your head continues to bob up and down his length. You hummed, reaching one of your hands to his balls, rolling them between your fingers as you wrapped your lips around the head of his dick, sucking it sweetly.
Your name spills from his mouth and his hips stutter as his hand pushes you down on him further. “so close,” He manages to choke out, as you increase your movements and swallow him down. 
Your eyes roll back as he shoots his seed down your mouth. You moved your head back up to his length, continuing to suck as your hand strokes the rest of his length to milk out every last drop he has left to give. His dick twitches soft as you move your mouth off of him.
“C’mere” He says while smiling softly, his chest rising and falling, his body trembling as he comes down from his high. You climb up on his lap as he wraps his arms around you to pull you closer to him. His cheeks are flushed and his hair is a mess.
“Kiss me” He pouts before you cup his face in your hands, leaning in to give him a passionate sweet kiss.
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Sylus:
He’s never once asked you too and he definitely won’t turn you down when you were comfortable in doing so. The topic has only surfaced from jokes between you through conversations but he has never once pressured you in anything about it.
Oh. This man loves to see you fit his overwhelmingly large length in your mouth. He finds it amusing to watch you on your knees, desperate to unbuckle his belt to free his throbbing cock from his restraining pants.
Does not take his eyes off you the entire time. He just loves how you take him so well and how you look with his dick in your mouth.
You take your time, teasing him, kissing the tip and gliding your tongue on his length. He doesn’t rush you at all, but will occasionally throw, “Go easy on me kitten. I don’t know if I can last that long seeing you like this.” He says as his eyes are becoming heavy lidded and absolutely lost in the pleasure of your mouth. It’s fair game after all, he does do that to you when he’s eating your pussy out.
He'll hold and tug on your hair but not to the point that it would hurt you.
Will spoil you with praise if you take all of the white finished fluid in your mouth. He doesn’t really care about where he finishes. He can finish in you or on you, whatever you want.
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“You want to suck daddy off princess?”
He rests his fingers on his temple, leaning against his shoulder for support as he watches you in amusement as you tug his gray sweatpants. He sits up straight, cupping one of your cheeks and gently caressing your lips with his thumb. “You don’t have too sweetie. I don’t expect anything like that from you.”
“I-I really want to Sy,” You gulped, your eyes scanning down his face. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot.
He leans forward, trapping your lips in a soft sweet kiss, his tongue peeking out to taste you. You allowed him to guide the kiss and the images of his cock fit into your mouth flashes through your mind, letting a strained moan escape your throat.
“If you don’t like it or if it feels wrong I want you to stop and tell me.” The size difference between you was overwhelming and the last thing he wants is to hurt you.
“I promise Sy”
You slip off him, settling yourself on your knees and between his thighs. His hands found the drawstring of his sweatpants, working the knots loose as he felt your gaze on him. He pulls the fabric down his legs, leaving his cock only covered by the thin material of his black cotton boxers. He kept his eyes locked on you while your gaze set on his bulge that was inches to your face.
Teasing you, he drags his palm over the lump and watches you in amusement as your eyes widen at the outline of his cock. “You like that baby?” He lets out a breathy chuckle as your head snaps up to meet his gaze, finding it a struggle to find a response.
You continue to watch him move his boxers lower, revealing his cock standing proud. His tip hot pink and his girth overwhelmingly large. He delicately takes your hand in his, guiding it to grip his cock. He wrapped your palm around his base, guiding you down the rest of his cock.
“All yours baby”
You take the tip of his shaft, placing it in your mouth while holding the base of his shaft in your right hand. You sink down slowly as far as you can go before you bob up and down. He lets you get comfortable, finding your rhythm as he basks in the feeling of you wrapped around him.
You take your left hand to fondle his balls, rolling it in the palm of your hand while your right hand keeps steady at the base of his dick. Your mouth sloppily slurps erotically at the top of his cock.
“Just like that. Doing so well for me,” Sylus breathed a moan at the feeling, your soft tongue slicking over his head. Your hand continues to pump from the base up to reach your mouth as you kiss and licked at his member.
The feeling was all too good to him and the sight alone was intoxicating. He runs a hand through your hair, brushing the stay hairs out of your face with his fingers. Your tongue snaking and tracing along the vein on his shaft.
He guides you with his hands in your hair, your hand now laying flat on his thigh. He gently rolls your hips upwards, pushing his length into your warm mouth. He kept his eyes locked on you, resisting the urge to close his eyes at the feeling. He gently bucked up into your mouth, letting you get used to the feeling of him controlling the pace now. Keeping the sloppy pace, he felt the pressure in his stomach tightening with each lick and suck you gave him.
“S’fucking good babe. Gonna make me cum,” He groans, feeling your spit drool down on his length. He flutters your eyes shut, your moans consuming his ears as he shoots his load down your throat. Your name continually escapes from his lips with a mix of praises, his chest rising and falling, struggling to regain the breath you’ve stolen from him.
He lifts you back onto his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck as he showers your face with kisses before capturing your lips and pulling you tightly against him.
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codecicle · 2 months
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Heard this guy made A Tribute to Minecraft (and loves cod, tekkit, and dayz. those are lamer though)
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miramisaki · 5 months
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HAPPY CHARLIE RELEASE!!!! Thank you all for sticking with me until the end! May the coolest king grace all of your Chaldeas!!
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futuristichedge · 1 year
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Silver!
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coffiicorgii · 2 years
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Why is the anxious Italian man so fun to draw??
Just some silly little doodles and me messing around with a pixel art brush on my art app! :D
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can-of-slorgs · 7 months
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Local owlbear, what she gonna explodee✨
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