#first time rendering! also my last because that sucked

[ballercollective]

oh no i tried rendering it's so hecctover

[lxmelle]

I wanted to make a post on the number of times Gojo and Geto “meet halfway” even beyond death. Just a complication of moments!

Spoilers if you’re anime-only.

Gojo Satoru stops in his tracks upon hearing something roll onto the floor; quickly followed by the voice of someone whom he killed with his own hands.

More under the cut:

Gate open!

The same words upon a 10-year separation. Not “hisashiburi ne” but “hisashi ne” (a shortened version):

(Worth noting: the flashback image of Gojo after killing Geto looks eerily like Toji upon death. There is a deliberate parallel.)

Gojo tries to make sense of what is happening and his six eyes registers the physical information that it’s really Geto.

In processing this he is momentarily flooded with memories of the best 3 years of his life - the Blue Spring 青い春.

Ironically like being flooded with information after being hit by unlimited void, as there have been others who pointed out.

He was rendered immobile with information on his precious memories and that’s what seals him.

His mind was matching up information from his physical senses (six eyes) and his soul (presenting as feeling).

And his soul refutes the information. His mind knows Geto wouldn’t do this. Thus, he knows otherwise.

Here is where he reverts back to “ore” 俺 as his raw and authentic self presents itself for a the moment where he is experiencing heightened emotions from the sacrilege before him that gets his trapped.

And it all kinda sucks because seems unfair that Gojo is going to suffer again for what seems to be a heavily one-sided pining for his best friend.

But then, Geto, who really is unable to react (because it isn’t Geto, as he is actually dead) ... still manages to do something.

Although like a dragonfly whose head has been cut off, it responds. His body appears to be imprinted with information despite his brain (mind) and soul not being there.

As someone pointed out on Twitter/now X, Gojo reacts to Geto’s words/presence and Geto react to his name being called (and possibly also from seeing Gojo in that position):

Gege, thank you for making this a reciprocal moment.

That smug lil smile from Gojo also kinda depicts a small victory that he made that happen. Something, as a reader, we appreciate that even the ancient Kenjaku has never encountered before - the vessel reacting whilst he is the host.

It’s poetic how they react to each other despite the situation where one is practically dead but can still depict sentiments of a strong bond.

Gege follows up on this with a moment between Toji and Megumi to illustrate another example of parallelism and emphasis, just 7-8 chapters later:

The narrator doesn’t finish the sentence, but it hints at how the remnants of a soul can still persist within the body if it’s important enough. Leading the body to react even if the brain isn’t there in Geto’s case, and the body in a vessel can still react even if it’s soul information wasn’t summoned by the curse technique user.

It also hints at the parallels between Geto and Toji who died after yielding and “burying” a part of themselves.

The reciprocal nature of Gojo and Geto extends to the afterlife scene.

Can I just add (again) that I love how they’re sitting closer together than compared with when the chapter began? 🤭 yes I like repeating myself because i dedicated a whole post on it before

And I like how they meet halfway there too.

Isn’t it romantic somehow? Last person Geto saw before his death was Gojo, and the first person Gojo saw was Geto in the afterlife.

I wrote this in another post but I’ll include that here too: the top bit is in reference to Geto’s death where his reaction acknowledges that he doesn’t feel he deserves the loving words, but rather a curse at the end.

Link: https://www.tumblr.com/lxmelle/748022415626567680/ah-this-makes-lots-of-sense-especially-that?source=share

And taken from my other whopper of a post on souls because I’m too lazy to write it all again:

The end.

Thank you for sharing in my satosugu indulgence.

Please feel free to share and reblog with other moments worth pointing out! ╰(*´︶`*)╯~♡

[crashtestjeffy]

Last night I had a real fucking honest talk with my daughter. When I gave her shit the other day I told her that she needs to quit the bullshit and be open and honest with me. And that home is where she needs to understand is the safest and most important place for her. So last night...She came in the room set down a vape and one of them weed pens and said she has been doing it since October. Which I had a pretty clear idea was happening (I am after all a professional ex-drunk and junkie) but man, I didn't want to be lied to so I didn't ask or demand she tell me. I figured when she felt open enough she would tell me. And she did. I wasn't sure how to act or respond so I stayed calm and said two definitive things. First, the vaping and any nicotine or smoking product stops or I will tie her to her fucking bed. My mother had a stroke because of smoking. I quit smoking the day I learned I was going to be a father. And I loathe it. My mother was rendered incapable of speaking or walking or going to the bathroom. And I am not having my kid ignore this. I reminded Ruby of how my mom could only wail when she walked in the room because she couldn't talk and was so upset as she felt her life slipping away. I asked Ruby if that is what she wants for herself? Because I sure don't. On the weed, I said that she is almost 17 and there is little I can do to stop her from using it and I understand. I don't like it and I would rather she didn't. But I am a realist and that would be about as effective as pissing into a volcano....or some other ineffective activity. I reminded her of the risks and I told her no drug abuser ever starts out saying "Hey how about I get hooked on this and then proceed to ruin my life and suck dick to get high when I can no longer afford it" and that we all started with just getting high for fun once in a while. I also warned her of the serious ramifications of using it at school or work. And I told her she is going to have to think about the risk involved...Fat chance....She's 16. But I will keep reminding her. I don't know what the fuck I am doing as a parent anymore. I am just trying to get this kid through with as few dings, scratches and air bag deployments as possible and so it's all guesswork.

I try to protect her at a time where she doesn't want that protection till it hurts. The mantra of the teenager's parent. Life is never neatly summed up and wrapped up at the end of the episode, so this is probably a three parter.

[strawberrycamel]

Oh hey I have another one! Smash Bros., the only hyperfixation I have that beats Toonami in how obsessed I am with it. 25 years old as of last January. I will also be talking about the lore. A lot of this stuff will be partially me interpreting the events in my own way. It starts when the og 12 playable fighters...most likely get kidnapped and either get turned into or have their consciousness put into doll version of themselves. Sakurai said it himself that the first game is of toys trying to escape the world they were put in...but everyone interpreted that as them really being toys and that they were trying to escape into our world. So maybe I see it the way I do out of spite? Who knows. Anyways, the toy fighters defeat the one who put them into this situation, rendering them unconscious at the very least...but in the process, returning to inanimate states. Melee is rinse repeat of this situation except now they're trophies/statues and the fight for freedom is much harder. Also there's two final bosses now. At the end, they manage to negotiate with the otherworldly beings into fighting still, but on their terms, cuz yeah, the fighting was pretty fun. Then Brawl happened. We all know what happened in Brawl. Subspace happened. The original being from the first game, who you can probably tell is Master Hand at this point, gets captured by the embodiment of Subspace, Tabuu, in order to fool certain villainous...and very gullible Smashers to being commanders of the Subspace Army. Mr Game and Watch has bugs in him that are used to create the majority of said army and R.O.B., who goes by the Ancient Minister for most of the story, has his people held hostage in order for the enemy to create bombs that suck the world that the story take place in into Subspace...and is one the characters who gets the shortest end of the stick in this story. His home, the Isle of Ancients, doesn't even come back at the end of the story like the other locations that were sucked into Subspace cuz waaay too maby bombs were set of at once and has rendered the former land into nothing but a literal sparkle in the sky. And him no longer haaving this home plus the rest of his people wiped out and still canon in later entries. And then Smash 4 happened...which technically doesn't a story like the last one did. But what it does have is a new boss in the form of Master Core, an entity that comes out of Master hand, I kid you not, when the difficulty is high enough (speaking of! the first time I fought and beat this boss was on accident!) There's no canonical explanation as to just what Master Core is- whatever flavor text we have for it in game is pretty vague. So the way I interpret is that the Swarm, the substance that makes up most of this boss, and the true form, the true Master Core if you will, are intense emotion given form that runs on pure instinct and whatever emotions it spawned from and the...well just put an apostrophe+s in between its name and there you go. It probably showed up now because...well, get captured, literally puppeted, be forced to watch as the world you created gets sucked into the one you're stuck in, most likely be in pain the entire time, nearly die after escaping...and you understand that Master Hand, to say the very least, is fucking traumatized. THen Ultimate happens and we all know what happens here too. Or at least I do. I might be one of the only people out there actually enjoyed playing World of Light. ANyway, both Master and Crazy Hand get captured this, Galeem light beams everyone to death, and renders all non fighters and non boss entities in what's implied to be the multiverse...into spirits. Except Kirby cuz his warp star can warp out this existence for a few seconds. I also personally interpret Galeem and his counterpart, Dharkon as alternate timeline versions of the Hands where went south for everyone after Subspace, to say the very least. ANd that's only what I can think of off the top of my head as explanations for each game. ..You can probably tell I've put a lot of thought into these things.

oh shit smash bros lore my beloved!! i've played all the games (not finished, but played!!!) so this was a treat

master hand going Thru it in these games huh dkjfhgdfjg RIP

[sirfrogsworth]

I said I would be posting more now that I have a laptop upstairs, and I will. I haven't posted much yet because I was still getting used to the keyboard and trying to get to a more comfortable typing speed that didn't frustrate me.

I actually bought a MacBook Air. I borrowed some money from my dad that I will be paying back over time. It's my first Apple product if you don't count the iPhone I got for my parents. It's a wonderful computer. The M1 chip is super zippy. Battery life is amazing. My former 12 year old laptop lasted about 2 hours per charge. This thing lasts me basically all day. The construction is very impressive. The aluminum body feels very sturdy. The screen is beautiful and gets way brighter than I need. And while they don't have any bass, I can't believe how good these tiny laptop speakers sound. My old laptop sounded like a super quiet AM radio. This thing hasn't gotten even mildly warm yet (though I am not rendering video or anything). It is very light. I feel comfortable taking it with me around the house if I need to. The old laptop was about 12 pounds and I think this is 2.75 or so.

Apple just makes good laptops. They always have, though they weren't always a great value. But I think the M1/M2 models are actually competitively priced as long as you don't get too many upgrades. The upgrade prices are still bonkers.

The OS has taken some getting used to. But for basic functions it's fine. I haven't had any trouble navigating. And the search function is much better than Windows. As is the aesthetics.

I don't really get into those technology pissing contests. I considered a Windows laptop, but there were just so many PC laptop choices and I was overwhelmed with the research required to find a good one. Not only can quality vary from manufacturer to manufacturer, but it can also vary from model to model. There are shitty Dells and fantastic Dells. I just didn't have the energy to figure out which was which. But I knew the new M1 Macs were all well reviewed and would serve my needs. So, that's what I got.

One bonus is that all of my friends are on iPhones and so now I can use iMessage and not turn into a dreaded green bubble. I still think Apple should make texting with android not crappy, but I'm happy to have a less frustrating way to communicate with my friends until that happens. If it ever does. (C'mon Europe, force Apple to fix that!)

Choosing tech these days is just about your needs and preferences. Brand loyalty is bullshit. All of the companies basically suck as far as business practices. Google might even be eviler these days. Microsoft has always been shit. And Dell has some of the worst customer service around. In this particular instance, Apple was the least evil choice for my needs and preferences. And anytime I need to do something only a PC can handle, I can just pop downstairs and use my desktop machine.

My only complaint so far is that I don't like how the scroll wheel functions with my bluetooth mouse. I like to scroll 3 lines at a time and Apple has this weird scroll acceleration feature that scrolls really slow at first and then crazy fast the more you scroll. I think there is a workaround but I haven't had the time to figure it out yet.

I'm excited to test out Photoshop, as I've heard the M1 version is about 50% faster. I just haven't had the energy to edit any photos recently.

So, that's my Apple experience so far. It's a good computer that I hope will last for many years. I also like that they maintain decent resale value if I need something different down the line.

[garrettwrites]

I don't care about how beautiful or ugly AI pictures are.

Before you read this, keep in mind that I have taken History and Culture of the Arts classes (from ancient history to the days of today), History of Drawing classes, as well as studying on my free time because this quite literally my area of expertise. I am also finalizing my license degree in the artes field.

Art in it's many forms is a form of communication. It doesn't matter if it's paintings, illustrations, video games, books, architecture, sculpting, pottery, you name it. It's how each artist/writer/musician views and shares the world, how each person has an unique approach reflecting their own life experiences and tastes.

It's how one writer drafts poetry upon the ocean, while another fears it, and a third one merely views it as a body of salty water. How one artist tenderly paints the hands of a portrait while another slaps a couple of brush strokes on it and calls it a day. How some do a lot of messy and sketchy charcoal lines, while others prefer a pretty and rendered piece. How some prefer the melody of the violin, while others the beat of the drums. It's how you draw backgrounds, what backgrounds, people, which people.

The details you choose to put in - a flower pressed into the background, with no importance to the picture or environment but still consciously put there, for a reason or another; the way a character shows their emotions, in ways we rarely think about but the author knows intimately; how a game developer hides little easter eggs in their game and delights in those who find them and get the reference...

How we still talk to Homero after he's been dead for millennia. How we see ruins from civilizations past, where people once had their first love, first tragedy, last breath. How now we use digital art to depict animals, the same way ancient humans used stone to carve them upon walls.

A machine has no thought. It copies without meaning. You cannot talk to it or marvel at the details it puts in, because they are mindless. The machine puts in a rose because the artists it references also put in roses. It draws a blue ocean when you write prompts for mermaids because mermaid = water = blue. It takes from the humans before it and doesn't adapt it or build upon it, for it cannot combine two completely different - and at first sight irrelevant - things on its own without it having been done before. This is not Detroit: Become Human. The AI is not alive or intelligent. It's a tool, the same way your phone or microwave are.

I love pretty art. In fact, as someone finishing my license in the arts field, I would consider myself quite elitist. I have a strong love for Pre-Raphaelite and Noveau art, and classical architecture. I would suck Alphonse Mucha and John William Waterhouse's dicks if they so commanded, if I could get a small napkin drawing from them afterwards. I don't like XX century art movements like cubism or dadaism. I find them ugly, and they go completely against my aesthetics.

But as much as I hate those, the artists who made them had a story to tell. They had hands and a brain. They put it forward in their own way, with their own language, based on their own likes and dislikes, happy and tragic memories.

A machine has none of the touch.

Art is not the same as working in the mines or in the sewers. It's a human connection. It has been here before we even called ourselves human, it has been here when there was more than one human species walking the planet (for the homo sapiens wasn't always alone). There ir no need to replace it.

Does AI artwork has it's uses? Well, I believe so. I believe there could be ways to make it work. A tool is a tool, after all. But I have yet to see it being used in a ""good"", innovative, useful way.

There is no TLDR. I cannot contain what I just wrote in few words. It would defeat the purpose.

[ronin-deactivated19851026]

i feel like my brainworms are legit nerfing me

oversharing ahead but i honestly don't care nor see this as a big deal. what's the point of living if i can't talk about my life

i'm not sure what to do about it... one thing they don't warn about when it comes to recovery, you kind of go "backwards" in your timeline, unfolding deeper and deeper traumas. this leads to addressing needs that for most healthy individuals have been satisfied during appropriate stages of development. and it's kind of hard to navigate through, and the deeper into childhood, the harder. and the dumber some issues are.

like...

i identified one of major sources of my art block through noticing the same pattern while learning japanese. i have an exam next month, and i'm sitting here just clowning around, avoiding touching my workbooks. i don't have any struggles learning it. in fact, i'm catching things quickly and if i practiced, i would have been better. but i just can't make myself study, and the block is so strong, it's paralyzing me the same way my art does.

why learn or do anything, if 1. there are people who are better at it, from those who studied better to native speakers, or in case with art, are more creative and have been going to art school since they fell out of the womb 2. i get nothing from it, no praise, no attention, nothing. no change in attitude towards me (this phrasing suits better, considering what i'm about to say next)

and one can think of bajillion things to debunk these points. like, who the fuck cares, do what you like, engage in things that make you happy, also learning skills or expressing oneself through art doesn't render "nothing" as a result, like, it's obvious how both can be monetized, if we're going for "practical" needs, and how many other opportunities await me that can broaden horizons and enrich my existence.

but... but.

the entity we're trying to tell these things isn't the current, conscious mind of 30 year old me.

it's an ostracized, bullied, weird tween that seems to be doing good at school, where the kid finds escapism from issues at home. the kid is called a goddamn little genius at first, but eventually it all becomes boring or doesn't go in line with school program, it's annoying, the kid is fucking annoying too, can't come up with anything useful or worthy everyone's time. so the kid scribbles random shit to escape or vent about both school and home life. or just embraces art. and hey, looks like these skills are cool and complex enough to catch everyone's attention once again and be the cool artist daughter/cousin/friend/whatever i was called to have, i'm considered talented and useful again. for a while. didn't last long because it's all still essentially useless. aaaaaaaaaaaaaa help

(ok random cringy note but i have been thinking recently how fandom often draws spamton the way i used to dress in my mid teens; the time when every bit of hope or resemblance of peace in my life crashed beyond retrieve. he's my spirit animal now)

like. words and lack of full background (which i won't go into in public obviously sjxjskxsxj) can't really explain why something that doesn't sound like a big deal as i type it left such a huge impact on me. my life at home was like a pure nightmare at some point, and came with serious baggage i still yet to unpack. my life at school sucked a lot, except for two years where i switched schools and it brought some relief, albeit temporarily. there were days where i would spend a whole night up, being on full alert for any random reason, including physically fighting or eavesdropping every noise i can hear behind my door, hoping i won't get stabbed or raped in my sleep. that's why i have issues sleeping these days and wake up from every tiny fucking noise. and after that, i would go to school and say i literally couldn't do my homework and none of these fuckheads cared, they called me useless, lazy, and threatened with consequences. yeah, "being useful" became tied close to "having a right to live" because of all the fucking mess that went on, the puzzle is coming together.

~

as i was reading pete walker's book "complex ptsd: from surviving to thriving", bits about describing traumatized children growing into completely dysfunctional adults, to the point where they're on disability and literally can't function at all, i thought about how i essentially sabotaged myself through thing i described above.

if i didn't deliberately ruin everything, i may have had a network of artists at this point, probably opportunities that i can't even think of, stable income, probably also a stable community, but i just dipped right when i was getting more and more interesting commission requests, getting more known, merch being done with my art, people being interested in my stuff, getting some cool opportunities, some of which were even about to spread outside fandom circles...

that hole of void inside, that feeling of uselessness and not being enough, has been growing (along with other issues i had, but still) until it burst and i was avoiding it all like plague, saying "no" to everyone who came to me until they stopped coming, obsessing over being the lamest artist featured everywhere, being afraid to create because it felt like i'm ruining paper/canvas/digital spaces/etc with my essence, that i'm not allowed to make myself present in anyone's life, unless i earned that right through being "useful", and even then i still experienced paranoia and severe anger issues and so, so, so many other things that led me to be diagnosed with a mood disorder, a personality disorder, and then put on antipsychotics and antidepressants.

...

you know, now that i'm typing this all out, i'm thinking that this made it all even worse. i'm even more scared of approaching these issues, because now they have a "take a pill and shut up" layer to it. "you're born useless and don't have a place among us, sedate yourself so you stop being a nuisance to everyone". "no, the world is completely fine, you're the broken one". "normal people live fine with X and Y, you're just crazy, delusional, sick, yOuR BraIn ChEmIcAlS ArE OfF meNtAL iLLness Is WHen Ur BraIn Is BrokeN1!1 MentAl DisorDers ExisT In VacUuM U jUsT WeRe BorN MenThollY EEL TAKE THIS COCKTAIL OF DANGEROUS DRUGS WITH A BUNCH OF SIDE EFFECTS THAT WILL KILL THE REST OF YOUR MIND!!111"

i have no idea in the fucking slightest what to do. i'm doing much, much better than ever. i could even say, i'm very close to being normal, at least in the way i define it. but everything that has to do with vague definition of occupation, hobby, and collective/community? i'm kinda just brute forcing things as of now, idk.

but i don't think i can push it this way for long, cuz... progress in my skills doesn't heal. using a new language doesn't heal. finishing projects, no matter how fun or cool, doesn't heal. getting praised for these doesn't heal. getting paid for my art (or anything at all in theory) doesn't heal. socializing doesn't heal, i just do it in spite of lil demon behind my shoulder constantly whispering me that i'm everyone's laughing stock/annoyance/whatever and everyone i'm interested in wants me away. having some people prove these delusions to me in the past few years didn't help either.

maybe i'll come to solution later, as i always do, but as of now... i'm stuck and i don't know where to start

[chaotic-super]

For Her Sake - Chapter 7

Read For Her Sake on AO3 here!

Kara races home from work on Monday evening, putting on the biggest smile she can muster when she sees Winn and Lori in the living room when she gets home to try and mask her anxiety.

“Thanks for picking her up as usual Winn, I really wish you’d let me pay you for doing it though.” Kara hugs her friend as he stands up to leave. “Seriously, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“It’s a good job I don’t do it for you then, isn’t it?” Winn grins. “I’m Lori’s favourite uncle and that’s enough of a reason to do it and I’m more than happy to stick around here and hang out with her until you finish work now that Alex is working too. Speaking of, have you heard from her about her day so far?”

Kara sighs and shakes her head. “No, I thought I’d hear from her during her lunch break since it’s her first day but she might be trapped in awkward small talk with her new co-workers since it’s her first day. I’m more nervous about her getting home though.”

Winn frowns, confused. “Why are you nervous about her getting home? Is she not getting a cab?”

“Nope, her new boss is bringing her home because she’s coming over for dinner,” Kara says, swallowing harshly as she looks around the apartment she’s got to speed-clean in time for them to get here. “She’s the CEO actually and I have no idea what to expect.”

“The CEO? Where is Alex working again?”

Kara nervously sucks her lips into her mouth. “L-Corp. They have a smaller building across town from the headquarters and she’s starting there. It’s a desk job that she managed to pull and since she got to interview with Lena Luthor herself, we asked her to dinner. I was kind of expecting her to say no but she said yes and said she was available for Monday evening, also known as, tonight.”

Winn’s jaw has been slowly dropping as Kara speaks but as she finishes it shuts with a snap and he is rendered speechless.

“I know,” Kara says, tucking a stray strand of her hair out of her face while watching the confusion and shock on Winn’s face. “It’s crazy and I have so much to do before they get here. I only have an hour to get dinner started, have a shower and clean up.” Kara stares down at her watch, each tick of it taunting her as it counts down to the moment she’s probably going to embarrass herself. That would be on brand for her.

Winn gently places his hands on her shoulder’s with his boyish smile. “Kara, relax. You go and shower and Lori and I will start cleaning up, I’ll help you and then I will go before they get here. Don’t panic, there’s a reason you call me your best friend.”

“I don’t call you my best friend but if you do that for me, I’ll start.” Kara dashes for the bathroom after that line, a cheeky grin on her face as she darts away.

“Hey!” Winn shouts at her back, amused by how quickly she just went from panicked to teasing him.

Kara is grateful for Winn, she really is. He’s done nothing but save her ass since Mike died and Alex was rushed into the hospital. Without him around, she would probably be in even more debt or Alex would have had to push herself to look after Lori and slow down her recovery. He’s been the best friend a woman could ever ask for.

She climbs into the shower and lets the water wash over her for a moment before she starts scrubbing at her skin with the soap. She’s got to look presentable for when Lena gets here because she’s kind of embarrassed about how Lena saw the state of the apartment last time she was here, she needs to prove that they aren’t slobs. Not that she’d accuse Lena of thinking badly of them for not folding a blanket or vacuuming for one day but it just doesn’t sit right with her.

Kara scrapes her fingers through her hair, scratching at her scalp as she washes the shampoo out while thinking about how she’s going to style it despite knowing how stupid it is that she’s panicking over such a silly thing when it’s not going to hold Lena’s focus at all.

Knowing that Winn is outside cleaning up while she’s in here, she hurries so she can help, not liking the idea that Winn is handling it alone when it’s not even his apartment. Sure, he has Lori to help him but she knows what Lori’s help looks like and spoiler alert, it doesn’t really help.

She makes quick work of getting dressed in a simple pair of jeans and a blue button-up shirt and blow-dries her hair into soft waves, figuring that this is just a casual thank-you dinner so she doesn’t need to dress up too much, especially since Alex and Lena will be coming straight from work so they won’t be dressed up too nicely anyway.

Lena’s probably dressed nicely but that’s more because she’s rich enough that all of her clothes constitute the label of nice clothes.

Rushing out of the bathroom, Kara heads for the kitchen to get out the dish from the fridge that Alex prepared earlier with the strict instructions that she only has to put it in the oven and she’s not to touch it otherwise because she’s got an affinity for messing up dishes.

“Ok, where are we?” She turns to Winn, who is trying to figure out how the vacuum works.

“Um, is this from mars or something? I can’t find the ON button.” Winn holds the thing up by its handle, his eyes trailing all over it in an effort to find the power button.

Kara lets him struggle for a moment, her hand covering her smile before schooling her expression and taking pity on him. “Have you tried looking beneath your hand?”

Sure enough, when Winn lifts his hand from the handle he sees the button hiding beneath where he had his hand and he flushes red, a little embarrassed. “Shut up, you.”

“Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. You can leave that, I’ll do it. You’ve done enough, I can practically see my reflection in those kitchen counters, I can handle it from here.” Kara carefully takes the vacuum out of his hands, a grateful smile spreading across her face.

“Are you sure? I can stay and help if you need to?” Winn double-checks with her, not wanting to leave if it means that she’s got to run around like a headless chicken to get everything done for when Alex and Lena show up.

Kara shakes her head. “No, I got it. Go say bye to your favourite niece.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Winn takes no convincing to head over to Lori, who has long since given up on trying to help and is sitting on the couch watching some cartoon on the TV, SpongeBob by the looks of it. “Hey, kiddo, I’m heading out but I’ll see you tomorrow, ok?”

Lori shoots up to grab Winn in a tight hug that rivals one of her mother’s. “Bye Uncle Winn.”

“Be good for your mom, alright?”

“I will!”

Winn plops her back down on the couch before taking a moment to pull Kara into a hug too, “see you tomorrow, Kara. Have a nice night.”

“You too, don’t stay up too late playing video games.” Kara points an accusing finger at him.

“You’re just mad that you haven’t had time to come and play online with me in a while.”

“That’s correct, now get out.”

Winn just laughs and heads out, shouting out one last “bye” as he shuts the door behind him.

Kara looks over at her daughter once the door is shut, momentarily overwhelmed by how cute Lori looks in the cute little purple dress she wore to school. “Hey, you, can you pack up your pencils from the coffee table while I vacuum please, Lori?”

Lori looks reluctant to part with the TV but a ‘mom-look’ from Kara has her getting up anyway and tidying up her pencils, still looking back over her shoulder to watch a few seconds of SpongeBob doing something particularly funny every once in a while, wishing that her mom would stop running the vacuum so she can hear it better.

Luckily, it’s only a small apartment so Kara is done within a couple of minutes. “Thank you, baby,” Kara says when she sees that the pencils have all been haphazardly shoved into a pencil case and moved back to the shelf where they belong.

She just has to wipe down the table and set it. They’ll have to eat at the coffee table how they always eat because they don’t have a dining table but there’s nothing they can do about that until they move and have more space so the mighty CEO will have to sit on a cushion like the rest of the commoners for tonight.

Taking another look at her watch, Kara knows that she hasn’t got much longer left until Alex and Lena show up so she needs to hurry. She checks on the food in the oven first and smiles when a glorious aroma of whatever yummy goodness Alex cooked up early this morning for dinner enters her nostrils.

Now that she’s happy dinner is handled, she finishes wiping down the table and setting silverware, napkins and glasses out on the table as well as plumping up some cushions and delicately placing them down in front of each place setting.

“Alright, Kiddo, are you ready to be on your best behaviour since we’ve got a guest coming over?” Kara plucks Lori up from the couch to cuddle her and press a kiss to her daughter’s cheek. Lori nods but there’s a sadness in her eyes that Kara doesn’t expect. “What’s wrong?”

Lori shrugs.

“Come on, baby, I’m not going to be mad or upset if you’re just telling me how you feel.” Kara begins swaying them slightly, just how she used to when Lori was still a little bundle in her arms.

Lori hesitates for a moment longer, her fingers gripping her mom’s shirt. “Is Auntie Alex’s boss lady going to be scary?”

Kara shakes her head, a tiny smile gracing her lips. “I don’t think so and if she is, we can kick her out of her together.” Kara mimes an overexaggerated kick, tilting Lori as she does so and making her giggle.

“Really?”

“I promise, if you get upset or uncomfortable, we can go into the bedroom and talk about it and if you want her to go, I will politely ask her to leave. This is your home, Lori and this is your space to be comfortable in. All I ask is for my nice, kind, polite girl to be on show where possible.”

“Ok, mommy.” Lori keeps clinging to Kara, resting her head on her shoulder.

Kara breathes in the moment, sucking it deep into her lungs and committing it to memory, standing here with her daughter snuggled up in her arms where she’s safe.

The moment is broken by the door swinging open and Alex’s smiling face peeping around it as she leads Lena inside, the woman is shockingly not dressed in a suit, instead wearing jeans similar to Kara’s, except much more expensive and a black shirt rather than a blue one.

“Where’s my niece?” Alex calls out, spotting the little one in Kara’s arms right away. “There she is, come here!”

Lori peeks her head out of Kara’s neck as she readies herself to run to her aunt but as soon as her eyes land on Lena she instead just buries her head back into Kara.

“She’s a little shy.” Kara offers up to Lena in greeting, waving at her since she doesn’t want to panic Lori by making her get closer to Lena before she’s ready to even though Kara wants to give Lena a handshake. “How are you?”

“I’m great, it’s been a great day, how about you?”

“Not too bad, work was pretty average but it was good. How about you, Alex, how was your first day?” Kara can’t help the toothy grin that spreads across her face when Alex smiles just thinking about her first day.

Alex nods. “Really good, I think it’s a great fit.”

Kara’s even more relieved to hear that than she thought she’d be. It’s not that she thought that Alex would quit right away but she was worried that Alex would end up sticking it out when she hates it just because of the effort gone into getting her the job and their desperate need for more money at the minute.

“I’m really glad to hear that.” Kara moves towards Alex, pulling her into a little group hug with Lori briefly, aware of Lena standing off to the side, unsure what to do with herself.

Kara puts Lori down, easing the little girl’s hands off of her shirt. Lori immediately hides behind Kara’s legs, moving with her as she steps towards Lena. “Ms Luthor, thanks for coming.” She offers a hand.

“I thought we’d gotten to a first-name basis, Kara. Please, call me Lena.”

“Of course, Lena. Thanks for coming.” Kara smiles as Lena shakes her hand before gesturing down to her daughter. “This little cutie is Lori.”

Lena, to her credit, doesn’t push herself onto the little girl. “Well, when Lori feels up to it, I’d love to shake her hand too,” Lena says, speaking loud enough for her to hear.

Kara’s hand moves back to stroke Loris’s hair out of her face, her cute little bangs getting a little long. She’ll have to trim them a little sometime soon, probably this weekend. “Lori, this is Lena.”

Lori doesn’t come out from her hiding spot but one little hand does pop out from the side of Kara’s legs and wave in Lena’s general direction so they’re taking that as a win.

Lena clears her throat after a moment of simply smiling at the insane levels of cuteness coming off of the little girl. “Thank you for having me.”

“Not at all,” Kara says, “I just hope you don’t mind sitting at a rather low table, the food will be great anyway since Alex made it and all I did was toss it in the oven, if I was the one cooking, you might’ve ended up in the ER, that or the apartment would be burned down.”

“You’re that bad of a cook?”

“Worse.” Alex chips in, coming up behind Lori and swiftly picking her up into her arms. She squeals in delight when she’s captured and loops her arms around Alex’s shoulders. “There she is, you didn’t come and say hello to me, missy.”

Lori just keeps giggling, clinging tightly to Alex while she swings her about.

Kara only lets it go on for a little while though because she can see the strain in Alex’s legs and the slight sheen of sweat clinging to the back of her neck as she tries to hide that she’s in pain. “Hey, Alex, why don’t you go wash up before dinner and I’ll get us some drinks.”

Alex knows what she’s playing at, she can see it in the brief eyebrow raise that gets tossed her way but she lets her get away with it and hands Lori off to Kara again. “Sure, I’ll be back in a minute.”

Lori isn’t happy being between Kara and Lena so she quickly starts struggling to get down and Kara doesn’t fight her, just lets her down.

“Mommy.” Lori stage whispers from behind her legs. “Mommy. She tugs on her shirt. “Mommy.”

“Yes, Lori?” Kara shares a smile with Lena before she turns around.

“Can I watch ‘toons?”

“Sure, baby, go ahead.” Kara shakes her head as Lori bots over to the couch and immediately sets her eyes on the TV that is still rumbling on from earlier except SpongeBob has finished now and Scooby Doo has taken his place.

Kara turns back to Lena. “Hey, so um, can I get you a drink? We have a bottle of wine in or coffee if you’d prefer it, or water, of course.”

Lena nods, grateful for the excuse to have something occupy her hands. “Coffee would be great, I’d better pass on the wine, I’m driving.”

“Right, yeah, I should have thought of that.” Kara’s hands clasp together in front of her, her fingers twisting nervously. “I’ll get you that coffee.”

Lena catches her arm as she starts to pass her to get to the kitchen. “Stop panicking so much. I’m not going to out you, let’s just have a nice evening.”

Kara’s gaze is pulled down to the hand on her arm and her brain immediately freezes, buffering incessantly for a few long seconds. “That’s not what I’m nervous about.”

Lena follows her into the little kitchen, her eyes following the flurry of motion coming from Kara’s arms as she gets the coffee brewing. When the motion stops, she takes the opportunity to speak again. “Then why are you nervous?”

“Look, I know that you can’t think much of me, but I need you to see how amazing Alex is because she’s the greatest person I know and the only way I can do that is by having you here to see for yourself and that means that I have to make this as perfect as it can be, even if we have to sit on the floor and all I can offer you is instant coffee and a glass of ten dollar wine. She’s something special and she deserves the job you’ve given her.”

Lena looks taken aback. “Do you—” She frowns. “Do you think I’m just going to fire her?”

Kara shakes her head and then drops it into her hands. “No, but I need to know that you’ll keep her safe. I don’t know what’s happening in that building of yours but I need you to keep her as safe as you can because I don’t know what I’d do without her.” Tears spring to Kara’s eyes without her permission and she looks away for a moment to swipe at them, grateful that she passed up on the make-up, even though that was because she didn’t have time to do it.

Lena steps closer, her hand coming out to catch Kara’s arm a second time. “Kara, I assure you, any measures I can put in place to keep your sister safe, I will, and tonight doesn’t have anything to do with that, I just wanted to get to know you both better, mostly Alex since I’ll be working with her, but you too. You’re an intriguing character and maybe I’ll look like an asshole for admitting it but I kind of like that my life is a little less boring since you busted into my building with those people.”

Kara looks down at her shoes for a quick moment. “Did you ever find those people?”

“My security team is working on it, I got rid of any evidence of you being there though. I’m not going to the police, Kara, ever. Not unless you try again.”

“I won’t. I can’t.” Kara replies, her eyes drawn to the little girl across the room.

“I see now why you would do what you did. She’s adorable.”

“I know, sometimes I can hardly believe that I made something so perfect.”

Lena shrugs. “I think she’s your mirror image other than the hair.”

Kara meets Lena’s eyes again and at that moment she realizes, she’s never going to fully understand her intentions. “Really?”

“Totally.”

Read more chapters of For Her Sake early on Patreon here!

[happyandticklish]

wait no because those rants are so relatable??? sometimes I find myself questioning if I'm still even ticklish, like I remember what it was like from when I was younger but now it can be so hard to laugh and it sucks because I really really want to. there are acceptions like if I go to get a checkup and they're checking heart rate or if I'm getting a back scratch I suddenly cant keep myself still or quiet, but then??? for example just last week a friend offered to tickle me when they came over and I was ecstatic that they'd offer, agreed like it was the best day of my life, only to barely feel it at all. It's genuinely upsetting and I was a little surprised to see these rants under your blog because whenever I get sad about not being as sensitive as I'd like I always think about your tumblr @ name and how great it is that people out there get to experience it to a fuller extent even if I got a smaller end of the stick. like no cap that has genuinely been my thought process and it's what brings me to a melancholy conclusion almost every time. Didn't know it was common to be like this? made my week seeing to I'm not the only one. like I actually dont know what to say this feels so refreshing thank you!!!!!????? ( + the anons :)

Aaaaaaa I'm glad you could take some comfort in this anon!! ^^ Even if it was born out of an intense lee mood and hormonal shit at 3 in the morning, it's cool that it actually resonated with some people! I COMPLETELY get your first point, there's so many moments of things that aren't supposed to tickle tickling (like shower pressures or putting your hands on the outside of a blender or someone pinching me) and it's hard to be chill about it, but then the second you ACTUALLY get tickled it's just,,, nothing.

If it makes you feel any better, I genuinely do believe that it is purely a matter of technique. The fact that other things are tickling you shows that at the very least you are ticklish, it just has to be unlocked through other methods.

A lot of times if you're anticipating the tickling, it can be easier to control your reactions, because you feel in control with it. Obviously most people aren't comfortable with this right away and you don't have to pick this option, but something as simple as tying your hands up so they're unable to help you can work, as it immediatelly increases vulnerability. Blindfolds and teasing can also help with that.

Also, sometimes it's about directing your ler, even if it feels awkward or stilted. If they stumble across something that even slightly tickles, have them stay there, maybe try more or less pressure, show them whether scratchy tickles or poking works, whether your need rough digging and grabbing or gentle traces. Everyone's different, and a lot of times the things that work on one person will be rendered null and void on another. Using tools can be useful too, or lotion, anything to increase your sensitivity.

Being ticklish is just as much a state of mind as it is a physical ability, so getting to a place where (a) you feel comfortable laughing and reacting around your ler and (b) you also kind of DON'T feel comfortable around them, more in the, 'they make you nervous and giggly right off the bat' type of thing. Our inhibitions can often choke up our responses, so teaching yourself to relax in those circumstances can greatly help.

It might also be that you're just not that ticklish, and that's okay too! Being a lee/switch is entirely based around how you feel about tickling as opposed to actually being ticklish. You can be a barely sensitive at all lee who still enjoys the feeling, or a hyper ticklish ler who can't stand to be touched, and both are incredibly valid! You should never feel like you're of less value because you feel like you aren't meeting certain "qualifications" of what a lee/ler/switch should be.

Here's to hoping you can get tickled to your heart's content in the future!

[duckplosion]

Rabbit Miraculous Rewrite

This my first time doing this, but, I wanna cover Miraculous! More precisely, the Rabbit Miraculous. A couple of friends and I agree that it absolutely sucks, and so I took to rewriting it.

So, without further ado, let me share my thoughts:

First a little recap on what the rabbit miraculous is in canon. The rabbit stands for Evolution, and allows the user to travel through time via Burrow, which acts as a portal to a pocket dimension from which one can observe all timelines and open portals to any point in them. Aditionally, the transformation seems to possess a Wonderland aesthetic.

Now, the aesthetic and the concept I will buy, but the power needs to be fixed. The thing that bugged us was the fact that even though it is meant to be a last resource,the Rabbit is actually pretty used, and makes you wonder just why they don’t use it to get away with a lot of things.

It is specially infuriating  because it is suposed to be one of the minor miraculi. It’s a Zodiac Miraculous, it’s even lower than the Fox. I do not get how the Fox can be higher in the Miracle Box than the Miraculous with unrestrained time travel.

In my opinion, the role of absolute last resource should be granted to the reality altering Wish we already have, there is no need for an additional Miraculous that can bring about massive changes in timelines.

Not to mention, it renders the Horse and the Snake pretty useless, since it does what they do better, since the Rabbit can open portals through space too, like we saw Bunnix do during the battle with Time Tagger and during Chat Blanc.

So, in order to effectively fix the power of the Rabbit, just cut the portal part and just focus on time.

Now, the snake miraculous is inspired by the ouroboros, which symbolizes among other things cycles, aka, it has rewind powers. So to keep both Miraculi unique, the Rabbit must have powers related to forwarding. It even fits its concept, Evolution, going forward.

Therefore I would give the Rabbit the power to move forward in time. A useful secondary power would be increased speed, but its main power would be the ability of jumping forwards in time a total of five minutes. With this power, they could throw their enemies by surprise through dissapearing and then reappearing a couple of seconds of minutes afterward, thoigh they’d risk an ambush since they wouldn’t move in space.(This offers the chance for a tie to the Rabbit in Alice in Wonderland, they move through time and not space, so they risk being late) Aditionally, this way they could avoid attacks by simply jumping forward in time. And, it would also allow the user to escape a cycle set up by the Snake Miraculous, since each time the wielder used Second Chance, they’d have to prevent the user of the Rabbit from hopping after the cycle has ended. However, should the Rabbit use their powers first, the Snake could ambush them as many times as needed with Second Chance. This way, we balance these two Miraculous as well.

I don’t have many ideas regarding names for the power, the best I could come up with would be “Teatime!”

But that would be it! I am not used to writing posts, so I hope this isn’t too bad. But I hope you liked this, and if you’d like me to, I do have more ideas for things I’d rewrite about Miraculous.(Spoiler alert: There are many things, so many things I am gonna rewrite.)

[judgeanon]

Plastic Skies - Model 5: Su-37 Berkut

After that last, highly-demanding build, I made a conscious decision that my next kit would be something simple. No hyper complex camo schemes, no funky weird tools, just a cheap little palate cleanser. At first I thought about getting another of those baby models, but I was lucky enough to find something that not only checked all the boxes, but was also one of my all-time favorite weirdo planes. This, at last, was going to be just fun, dammit.

For those who haven’t had the pleasure, the Berkut is an experimental plane built around the idea of forward-swept wings and other technologies like thrust vectoring. The project was started in the 80s, but the plane itself first took flight in 1997, and while its test results were pretty impressive, it was eventually scrapped for more conventional airplanes. Still, the sole working prototype remained in use as a test bed for further technologies, and along the way, it gained a pretty strong following. Japan in particular seems to adore the Berkut, and it has appeared in pretty much every Ace Combat game since 3. In fact, an amusingly sizeable bunch of online articles about it just straight-up use game renders of the Berkut, even if they feature markings from Ace Combat’s various fictional countries.

But anyway! Beloved weirdo plane. 95% black fuselage. No missiles because it never saw actual combat. And according to online resources, the model had the simplest landing gear doors I’d seen yet. It was fate. Especially at the price the online reseller I bought it from was asking: less than half the price of the last model. Sure, I could tell it was an old kit, but how bad could it be?

The Berkut’s construction was every bit as easy as I imagined it to be. So easy, in fact, that I built it in literally a single day. Although I did make a few ugly mistakes along the way. The biggest one, which is hard to notice unless you see it very up close and/or with the light right over it, was the paint. Thinking I’d need a lot of black, I went overboard on the paint and ended up with some really ugly brush strokes covering most of the model. The glossy varnish I picked for the finish hid some of it, but it was a lesson I’m trying to keep at the forefront of my mind for next time: chill with the paint.

I did, for once, enjoy doing the landing gears. Not just because they were hilariously easy compared to pretty much every other one I’d built, but because it (and the thrusters) gave me a chance to break out the metallic paint. Seriously, I fucking love that stuff. I’m thinking about building another MiG-21 or a Sabre or even another P-51 Mustang just so I can give them the shiniest coat of metallic paint I can find.

The white details were a bit of a problem, but that’s because white paint in general kinda vexes me. For some reason I end up needing at least twice as many coats as any other paints. Maybe it’s a matter of priming, another thing I’ve yet to try with models. But in any case, before I knew it, the Berkut was complete, moving canards and all. It was time to get my decalling on.

I dunked one of the red stars that are supposed to go on the wings on warm water, took it out, removed the excess water, put it on the fuselage and gently poked at it with a toothpick like I’d done with dozens of other decals before. And then it happened. The star shattered completely inside the paper, its points snapping off like twigs. Grimacing, I tried to hold it together, but that just obliterated it further. Before I could do anything else, the star was just a mangle of red decal on a damp piece of paper.

So that sucked, but I knew I had five more stars to use. At worst, I could just not use one of the bottom ones. But I needed to do some testing. I wanted to check if this was a freak accident or if there was something worse going on. I picked a different decal and tried again. It disintegrated even faster than the star. And I gave up on the decals.

A quick online search confirmed my fear: this model kit was released in 2000. It is old enough to drink. Surely, the protective plastic coat around the decals was a hundred times weaker than the toothpicks I used. And while I did find a few ways to solve it, they all require products that I’m not entirely sure what their local equivalents would be. So while I’m definitely gonna be doing some more research about this to try and find a solution, for now, this poor Berkut is gonna remain un-decalled.

Also, one of its tailfins is a bit curved, but ehhhhh. I got what I paid for. It’s still a nice model, and it’ll probably get a little better once I find some gray panel line/wash to really bring the fuselage out, but as it stands, I’m just happy that a couple of sellers have more modern and bigger kits of this plane available.

Like in real life, this Berkut deserved better.

[marcelwrites]

Excerpt From ‘Cancel Me Or Die’

(This is an excerpt from a novella I’m writing, ‘Cancel Me Or Die’. A collection of loosely related chapters exploring lust, sexuality, violence, and politics. It won’t be for everyone. I think the title is cool but I also hate it. Is that not the duality of man? It’ll be published later this year. The whole “cancellation” thing makes me shudder with how fucking embarrassing it is but it’s also this pervasive concept in the West now and I like how it’s something everyone’s aware of; if you’re on the internet then you’re aware of the concept. Transgression is important. Challenge yourself. Like the first time I read the works of Jonathan Ames, I was challenged by how boldly he laid the world of crossdressing and ambiguous sexuality at the reader’s feet. I believe in the pushing of boundaries because it’s vital that we’re scared by art, challenged by it, affected by it.)

In the absolute dark before the dawn peeks through the cracks and tears in the night sky I’d met up with Lina. Her pale pink hair a light muddle until being briefly lit by the street lamps we were walking under. The plan was to light some fires and cause some chaos. A legion of old, decaying boaters had decided to pollute the waterways with their noxious floating palaces. In the mood for unprotected sex and anarchy we went to each local petrol station and filled up several jerry cans worth of fuel, $250 AUD worth to be exact. We debated grabbing some food from Hungry Jacks but rather than indulge in disgusting deep-fried carbs we parked our car near a playground, opposite some closed shops, and had sex until we felt exhausted and loosened by the exchange. We weren’t exactly in a relationship but we were exclusive with one another. I think it’s one of those situations where you joke about getting married and you end up getting married to commit to the joke but also because you understand one another’s inherent darkness and miseries. Lina and I met while lining up for tickets to see a Horror movie at the cinema. She had absolutely no friends whatsoever and her last boyfriend beat the living shit out of her, shattering two of her teeth. She has a scar running from the edge left of her top lip that extends to her philtrum, where that boyfriend split her lip with a punch. Occasionally I kiss the scar as I’m drawn to it. It catches my attention when she rides me and I see little beads of perspiration forming around it. A few months ago we drove to her ex-boyfriend’s house and I slashed the tires on his shitbox of a Ford. I was tempted to break into his house and kill him in cold blood, or at the very least, throttle him half to death and take him to the hospital myself, but after slashing his tires Lina said she really wanted to suck my cock, and so she went down on me and when I finished she spat the cum on the door handle of the driver’s side door. “I love where your head’s at.” I said to her. “Me too.” Lina replied and then laughed. I think we’re in love but we’re broken so we just don’t say those words to one another. With the jerry cans in tow we would make our way down to the peer, make sure no one was sleeping in the boats, douse them in petrol, and then light them on fire. I think people are at their most beautiful when dimly lit by the moon and the street lamps. The thin light softens our features and renders us more human. As we walked I would occasionally turn to Lina and she’d turn to me and we’d smile at one another. It would sicken me to my core and make me feel like a faggot. I told her of this and she said, “I don’t like that word but I understand what you mean and so fucking what anyway.” Previously we’d spoken about how we planned to not get caught, so we got a mutual friend to order balaclavas for us. Neither of us had any history with the police so we wouldn’t immediately be suspected. The possibility of jail and legal action was real but that added to the thrill of it all. A few rich guys lose their manhood extensions? Big fucking deal.

[fictionalgainer]

Jackson's secret part II

The atmosphere inside the old factory was growing increasingly warm, amplifying the exhaustion from their playful chase. Richard, ever the trendsetter, was the first to speak up. "It’s sweltering in here. How about we lose the shirts?"

The suggestion made sense. After all, they knew each other better than anyone. As the shirts came off, an unspoken revelation unraveled before them.

William, typically self-assured, looked suddenly vulnerable. Despite his best efforts to suck in his stomach and hoist his pants high, it was evident that he had developed a pronounced belly, signaling a few too many indulgences over the past year.

Richard, once the proud owner of a chiseled six-pack, had seen a subtle transformation. Although he attempted to tense up and suck in, the faint outline of a budding belly was visible, betraying his once athletic form.

Harry, the ever-carefree one, was relatively unchanged, but closer inspection revealed small pockets of flab that hadn't been there during their last gathering. It wasn’t enough to raise eyebrows, but it wasn’t the lithe frame he remembered either.

The initial shock rendered the group silent, each processing the reality of time's passage and life's changing rhythms. Their shared vulnerability hung in the air, unspoken yet deeply felt.

It was Harry who broke the silence, trying to lighten the mood. “Well, looks like life's been good to all of us, in one way or another.” He patted his little bit of flab, grinning.

Richard smirked, “Speak for yourself. Some of us just changed workout routines.” His playful defense brought a chuckle from the group.

William, with a resigned sigh, said, “Guess we’re not the young lads we used to be. But hey, a bit more to love, right?” He gave his belly a gentle pat, trying to own it.

Wanting to divert attention from their unexpected body revelations and to embrace the nostalgia of their surroundings, Jackson proposed, "How about a game of hide and seek? Just like old times?"

Hide and seek, a game from their childhood, felt different this time around. Not just because of the passing years, but also due to the undeniable fact that they had outgrown – quite literally – many of their old hiding spots. The cavernous old factory that had once felt endless to their younger selves was proving to be a tighter squeeze than they remembered.

Harry, tasked with finding the others, started counting. "One, two, three..." His voice echoed, setting the others into a frantic search for a spot where their now larger frames might go unnoticed.

Richard, eager to reclaim a favorite hiding nook from his childhood, wedged himself between two rusted machines. It was a tight fit, and the pressure against his midsection reminded him of the meals he had skipped leading up to the gathering. He had hoped to present a leaner version of himself, but as minutes passed, his stomach growled loudly, betraying his hunger.

William, hidden not too far away, heard the telltale sound and whispered, "Rich, was that you?"

Emerging from his spot, Jackson added with a smirk, "Sounds like someone's singing the song of his people."

Feeling cornered, Richard sighed and emerged from his spot. “Okay, okay, I tried this crash diet before coming here. I wanted to, you know, look thinner.” He finally let go of his breath, no longer tensing or sucking in. To everyone's surprise, Richard's frame closely mirrored William's, the contours of his fuller belly evident.

William, chuckling, remarked, "Guess we both had the same idea. Welcome to the 95kg club!”

Jackson, taking it all in, said, "You know, seeing you guys like this... it's kind of reassuring. We're all in this together."

Harry, having given up on the game and joining the group, laughed, “Talk about revelations! But hey, I’m starving too. Any suggestions?”

After a moment of contemplation, Jackson suggested, “Why not hit up a fast food joint? My treat. And I promise, no judgment on whatever we order.” The group agreed, wanting to skip the family gathering and its potential for unsolicited comments on their appearances.

[radigalde]

Okay, so, I started BG3. But this post is not about spoilers. It's about how it looks.

You see, I preordered it when it first became available, and participated in Early Access for most of its duration (except for two last patches). As you may know, during the development Larian abruptly changed the system requirements. And while my laptop with old GTX1050 was sitting comfortably enough in the middle of the old requirements, it's barely able to crawl under the minimum of the new version.

So, while the game was running smoothly with the medium graphic settings at the start of EA, by druids patch I couldn't even get to the first settlement because of the freezes, textures lagging in and out of their blurry existence, T-posing, etc. It was pretty bad.

Reportedly, the final game should have been optimized a bit better, so I decided to give it a shot and see how it looks like on the same laptop almost 3 years since the first download.

Yeah, I know that the cloud gaming exist. It costs money and needs a speedy internet connection.

And the game greeted me with this.

(Changed everything from medium to low except for the texture quality - it's still on medium. Had to say goodbye to the distance blur as well)

Compare it to this from 2020 (screen from another person with approximately same old settings, my screenshots of the old character creation room didn't survive):

Or this (mine 2020 screenshot outside of the character creation):

Same laptop, same graphic card, 3 years of development in-between.

Which is especially gutting, because the hair quality was really good during the first EA patches even on the lower graphic settings and older machines. But at some point the developers decided to change it, turning it into greasy looking pixelated something.

Larian, why :(

Some hairstyles managed to lag through into something decent.

Others did not.

The hair's reaction to lightning in this room/location is atrocious btw.

Even when the textures are fully uploaded.

It's a LED wig, I got it.

Comparison of the first model appearance vs after the textures loaded in is quite funny, though.

It jumped to the left version each time I moved the camera in/out even a tiny bit, loading the textures from the right anew. Each. Time. The same happened during the last patches of EA, except that back then the loading could take a few minutes. Now it's either ~15 sec or not loading at all here.

Tbh, after seeing all of that in the dressing room, I dreaded of what would I see during the main game.

But it's surprisingly better. Almost no jarring rounded pixelation, and no jumping between abyssmal low and normal version of textures.

The reaction to light still sucks sometimes. The hair pick too much from the light sources that are barely visible otherwise and don't light up anything else to the same degree.

As for the optimization: yes, it indeed became better. Still not the first EA release quality for me, sadly, but by far better than the latest EA patches. Textures are way more steady now: they still take a few seconds to load in during the big cutscenes, but it's like nothing compared to the previous mess. During the regular exploration gameplay character (and most of environmental) textures are always steady. I even managed to watch the full crashing cutscene as a, well, cutscene instead of three half-loaded frames that took 20 min to render. And I was running freely on the beach despite the falling ash and everything that almost killed my frames back then.

Also, it still doesn't heat up my laptop all that much, which is a pleasant surprise.

Well, stay tuned for more cursed images, I guess.

Isekai-d into a mobile game.

Oh, and Lae'zel is a fiery redhead on her character portrait for some reason, and other characters' hair is displayed like brighness/contrast +100. I think, something is deeply wrong with the dressing room specifically after all.

[taintedsoul-if]

Hello ☺️ I was the anon who asked for the last scenario (the one with the mission of seducing a target) first of all, I love your writing and I absolutely adored the scenarios you wrote 💛

But also, I’m not sure if I missed anything but did you change the names of the ROs? I’m sorry if you already said anything about it or if I’m just confused 😅

🤣🤣 gimme a minute let me just laugh.... 😂🤣

Anon another Anon just asked the same question! I am just as confused as both of you. I thought you wrote that ask for IUSOD! Oh dear God. Ground please swallow me up. I'm so embarrassed right now.

I didn't change the characters name.

So because IUSOD deals more with the "Mafia" world. I thought- now I'm just repeating myself all over again.

But let me just rectify this situation.

Would your character still fall for Tysten/Trista after all that he has done in the past to the OH? Will your MC see past his "mistakes"?

Cadmus wouldn't allow another person to touch what belongs to him. If it has reached a point where your character "loves" being in other people's company more than his own, best believe he's going to chain you to his side. Your character made him go mad after dying. At one point he nearly self destruct and that is how Atticus- nvm.

Trysten/Trista - would suck the life force from your body rendering you useless, with only a few days left to live. They would imprison you.

Atticus - would wipe your existence from everyone's memory. He will not forgive you, for What you did in the past. He's just as crazy as Cadmus

Nyssa/Nyala - they would point blank ask you why you were behaving so "chummy" with other people. They would then start doubting your relationship with themself. Wondering if you had another motive for befriending them and making them fall deeply inlove with your character. At this point in time there dark side hasn't been activated as yet. Push a little bit and you'll soon have a paranoid possessive mad person watching your every move.

I should also say this. Cadmus and Atticus hungers for your flesh. If you want to survive until the ending of the book. Do yourselves a favour. DON'T TOUCH THEIR BOTTOM LINE in other words know your limits. 🤒😰. Also no cannibalism!

Also every character in this book isn't right in their head. (Not right in my head either) What exactly will you do, with little to no knowledge of what's suppose to happen in the book. I only plan to write a backstory of how earth was replaced and turned into the new and improve Vathilia. That poisonous fog was no joke! It turned many into mindless creatures who hunger for "ability users" flesh. By consuming/drinking ones blood one can level up. Will you turn to the dark side. Sinking your fangs into the necks of those you deem unfit? My fellow readers. The clock is ticking!

My sister asked me two days ago. "Why every time you write a book, someone has to die in the prologue? Writers should be feared..."

I cackled like a maniac.

It brings me great pleasure to know that there are actually people out there that like my writing. God bless you all. Thank you anon for the support! And sorry again for the mixup. I hope a summary of their reactions is alright!

[hpmort]

In Defense of The Glass Princess

I didn’t properly appreciate the extent of “a million is a statistic” before today

When I was a little kid I watched a lot of nature documentaries

Because it was the new noughts and on-demand sucked

(I didn’t think so at the time

TiVo was a separate service that had just been invented

The ability to watch something that wasn’t live

That the cable box didn’t have to have watched live

That you didn’t have to go out and buy

On a disc or in a box

Was new and exciting)

A series of rectangles within rectangles

Boxes folding in

Silvery blue and blueish grey

In the upper right hand corner

A video on-loop played

A category

A subcategory

A channel

A show

An episode

I was a child with a clear sense of

RIGHT

and

WRONG

Which, of course

Was not necessarily the most reasonably

The boxes I limited myself to were

Kids

(Where I mostly play favorites

Not for moral reasons

Just brand loyalty)

Premium Channels

(Subcategory

Kids/Family)

and

Documentaries

(Or something like that

It was over a decade ago and I was probably younger than six)

Category

Subcategory

Channel

I took everything on the channels under

Documentary

(Or whatever it was)

As fact so

Yes I did find Ancient Aliens plausible

The thing about the not-for-kids channels I allowed myself

Is that they were genuinely

Not-for-kids

As in;

I watched graphic animal deaths

And other stuff with content warnings

Remember

It’s the noughnties

People didn’t give trigger warnings

It was “most extreme animal reproduction”

Or something

There were crappy cgi renderings of mites engaging in natal incest rape

Sharks eating eachother in the womb

And live footage of a hyena giving birth

(The last one is what had the content warning)

There was other graphic animal stuff

As I said earlier

Mostly violent death

There wasn’t really much interest in violent mating habits

Yeah the mantis eats her mate

Parasitoidism exists

But that was mainly it

Because it was more about death than sex

(Fair enough)

Anyways

When I was in second grade or whatever

I was getting disillusioned with My Little Pony

Because my only exposure had been G3

And G3 was fairly low conflict

(A complaint that led me to

later

after watching like three episodes

Give Friendship is Magic a one star review

On the website “Common Sense Media”

Under a cringy name I had derived

From an absurd escapist world I had created

That I later tried to theme my birthday party around

(?)

(My pre-teen years were not kind to me)

(One year later I became a fake brony

Because I liked their general energy and level of engagement

And was desperate for a sense of community))

My father

Perhaps concerned about internalized misogyny

Or just wanting to know what to buy me that wasn’t a video game

Or an anime

(The T rating of Super Smash Bros Melee

And the fact that anime was not necessarily kid friendly

And the anime that was was not necessarily in english

Surely made the certainty appealing)

Bought me

My Little Pony: The Complete First Season

(He did not buy the movie

Which made the whole thing even more confusing

Then it already was

But I was a small child

(An autistic one at that)

And so was used to being confused about most things

So it didn’t matter)

G1 My Little Pony was insane and enthralling

It was baffling

It was amazing

I experienced good autistic representation in the form of Best Pony Windwhistler

(I was still in denial at the time and convinced that my diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome was the mark of a conspiracy

That was against me

But only in the abstract sense

I thought that it was a conspiracy to artificially inflate standardized test scores

Where I was center

So while the conspiracy wasn’t specifically against me

My role in it meant that it was in opposition to me and my flourishment)

We got

The Quest of the Princess Ponies and Other Stories

Before the movie so I also managed to have a completely inaccurate understanding of what an orc looked like

For literal years

Because the titular

Quest of the Princess Ponies

Featured “orcs”

Who one would never in a hundred years think was an orc

If they had not already been told they were

It is commonly held

Among the fans of the first generation My Little Pony series

That Quest of the Princess Ponies

Is one of the best serials

And that

The Glass Princess

Is one of the worst

I disagree

The reasons given that

The Quest of the Princess Ponies

Is a particularly good serial

Are impressively shallow

And consist largely

Of the presence of orcs and demons

And the fact that the princesses fucking hate eachother

And are

“conspiring against eachother”

(This consists of being bitchy to eachother with some petty levels of normal sibling sabotage

And kidnapping Spike and making him choose who shall rule)

For the crown

(The powers that it entails being vague and perhaps nonexistent

Considering the ultimate resolution

Once they’re done running around in a cave with the orcs and demons

Is that they should take turns being queen)

Although the part I admit is charming is rarely mentioned;

The eternal blood war between orcs and demons is because they can never shake hands as friends

Literally

Because demons are fire elementals and orcs are ice elementals

So Spike brings peace by holding the hand

Of a fire demon

And an ice orc

At the same time

And shaking it for them

The main complaints about

The Glass Princess

(Aside from unusually bad animation

Which means little given how terrible it is on a good day;

The twinkle-eyed ponies have evidently forgotten to put their eyes in

Given how common it is to see them with just circles)

Are as follows

Shady is whiny

And

Princess Porcina is inconsistently written

I have always liked Shady

She is depressed

She is anxious

She is full of self-loathing

I honestly saw a lot of myself in her

And found her a complex and well-written character

Doing something right

Doesn’t make you feel good

You feel guilty and think that you could have

Should have

Done it right before

Because if you can do this

Why can’t you do that other thing?

The one everyone says is easier?

I also always thought that Princess Porcina was written well

I’ve noticed it a lot

People completely ignoring something terrible happening far away

But immediately helping someone in front of them

You can order a hundred deaths

But if you see someone dying

You feel the need to help them

And that’s what she does

When everyone is so far away

She feels nothing

Why not turn them to glass?

They’re not there

They don’t matter

But when she sees someone turn to glass in front of her

Sees their horror

The panic they feel

When they know that it’s coming

She can’t stand it

She’s forced to face what she’s done

And

She

Stops

That’s normal

I think

Today

Friday

The second of June

In the year two thousand and twenty three

Driving home with

(Being driven home by)

A friend

This evening

I saw six goslings with their mom

One was clearly

Cleanly dead

One was normal roadkill

One was injured but moving along

One was injured and struggling to move

(But I was sure

That if we stopped

We could have gotten it

To a veterinary hospital)

One was fine

And one was cleanly eviscerated

Its entrails torn across the road

Miraculously whole

The uninjured one

And the slightly hurt one

Were following their mother

Who seemed clearly distressed

(Obviously

She was

But I don’t know goose body language

And so what I took as one form of grief or trauma could have been shock or something else)

My friend was clearly shaken

I asked her why we didn’t stop to get the one that was down

But still moving

She was panicking

And didn’t really answer

She

At least

I could recognize distress in

(And yes

Some of it was shock)

She spoke with disgust and horror of the driver in front of us

I pointed out that the eviscerated one was in another lane

She hasn’t seen it

The very idea seemed to horrify her further

I tried to look on the “bright side”

(As she often does)

If we had stopped to bring the injured one to a veterinary hospital

She would have seen the eviscerated one

She looked sick enough as it was

And admitted that

Despite the prescription-strength anti acids she was on

That if she had see that gosling

With its organs torn out

She could have thrown up

(Which

While she didn’t mention it

Would probably have made things harder to help the badly injured one

I can’t imagine driving with a goose in a car with a windshield full of vomit)

I comforted her

Said I was fine

She was gentler

Softer

The Canada Goose has a conservation status of “Least Concern”

It’s not important

These things happen all the time

I know this

(My friend offers a prayer for the goslings

And tries to think of another

I offer to show her the Word Wildlife Foundation

So she can see what species she can symbolically adopt to honor the gosling

There are no waterfowl on that list

Boobies are seabirds)

I cannot fall asleep

I cannot shake my uncomfortable feelings

I am sad yet struggle to try

I feel guilty

I don’t think that anything I could have seen or read

Could have desensitized me

I wish it did