#fix you fic

[astoryisaloveaffair]

Fix You - Chapter 16 - Genesis

Pairing: Frankie “Catfish” Morales x Fem!Reader

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Chapter Summary: 🤷‍♀️

Word Count: 4K

Rating: Explicit

Chapter Warnings: cussing, graphic violence, mentions of sex. I'm not giving more warnings than that, sorry.

A/N: Hey all. First I want to say I'm sorry. I literally had no time or motivation to write this. I'm gonna be honest, this is a really tough chapter, and it was hard to get in this headspace. Suffering a recent heartbreak, things in this chapter are things I have thought also, and so it was really hard for me to voluntarily want to address that. I also started working in veterinary medicine, i do not have the spare time that I used to. We also recently adopted a puppy who we named Bucky! And if you read my earlier posts, you know that I was SA'd last January. All that to say, sorry I couldn't do this faster.

Also want to wish a happy birthday to @musings-of-a-rose, my beloved, my bestie, and my constant support. This is for you. Sorry it's not a happier chapter....

* If a character is speaking fully in Spanish, I will put “[ ]” around the dialogue. I speak pretty decent Spanish but not good enough for this

Suggested Songs: "Exile" Taylor Swift feat. Bon Iver, "I Love You" Billie Eilish, "Vampire" and "Logical" by Olivia Rodrigo, "The Night We Met" by Lord Huron and Phoebe Bridgers, "Genesis" by Grimes

You didn’t even flinch at the landing, which was rough, so that’s saying a lot. When the janky cargo door (which looked like at any time during the flight would be ripped right off) opens, you barely even lift your eyes from the floor. You felt heavy and hollow, somewhere suspended in between shock and just not giving a fuck anymore. The only thing you could still fell was the pinching in your heart. It was still broken.

At some point during the journey, the co-pilot had taken pity on you and untied your arms from behind your back and bound them in front of you instead. You hadn’t struggled. There was no point. Where would you go? Jump in the ocean? You weren’t that great of a swimmer and you loved sharks and everything but the open ocean is not where you are supposed to be.

You have no sense of space and time, so you have no actual clue where you are other than not the mainland. You’re dehydrated as fuck, groggy, your vision’s blurry and you’d figured out the sticky moisture on your face was your own blood. 

Because when you had suddenly blacked out it was because they’d hit you, and had absolutely no hesitation doing so. They did not care about you, they did not see you as a human being, they didn’t even bother strapping you into a seat so you had been sliding around the cargo bay the entire flight, bumping into everything. You were in deep danger, any hope that you would have some ransom protection had pretty much disintegrated. You had hoped that the boys wouldn’t come for you at first. Then you had hoped that they would, because if you’re ransom, even if at the very least you’d be alive until then, right? But “alive” doesn’t mean unharmed.

A shadow looms over you and it finally makes you look up, squinting to adjust your eyes to something so close, as well as the brightness of the sun. It feels like it takes you 10 whole minutes to process that you were being spoken to in English.

“Eh!” The man leaning over you snips, and when you simply blink in confusion and don’t answer, he slaps you lightly on both cheeks. You’re stunned enough to finally look at him, his oval face, beady eyes and unique sideburns seeming so familiar to you but quite frankly you wouldn’t trust yourself with recognizing even your dad at the moment, so you push that thought aside.

He kneels down in front of you. “You listen to me. We don’t want you. We want the money. This means if you don’t fucking piss me off, I might be nice and not kill you, you understand? Be a smart little girl, eh?.”

You nod, you probably should be feeling some sort of panic setting in but you don’t. Whatever. Who even cares anymore.

He takes your silence as submission. “Bueno.” He whispers, leaning down and grabbing you by the arm, lifting you until you are back on your feet. He tilts his head and steps to the side, revealing 5 additional men with AKs pointed straight at you. From behind, you feel the sharp tip of another poking your back, urging you forward and down the precarious ramp. The pilots.

You didn’t trust that they wouldn’t hurt you, but you knew you had no other choice. Trying to fight was asking for it, and once you step out of the hold and realize you were in the fucking jungle, there would be no sensical place to go even if you did get away.

You step out of the plane onto a rickety steel ramp that bounces as the footpad of your sandals touches it and shuffle slowly down it. You feel suffocated sandwiched between four men, your hands chafe where they are tied and you have been in the same positions for so long your whole body is sore. Every touch and movement hurt.

You stumble as the ramp ends but one of the men grabs your arm and yanks you so you don’t fall. It wasn’t kindness. It was a way to hurt you that he could get away with. The tiny dirt landing strip is almost canopied completely by the jungle trees, leaving large patches here and there where the plane flew through, not noticeable from far above. It looks like you’re walking to nothing, just a dirt road that ends right into the thick middle of the jungle, but you don’t stop at the edge. You push through.

It’s hot as shit and you felt sweat buildup in every crevice of your body, your thighs are rubbing raw from your asinine decision to wear short shorts to the fair, and you could feel a heat rash growing under your tits that you couldn’t even scratch because your hands are bound.

You walk for forever. You walk until the friction rash on your inner thighs turn to lesions. You haven't drank water in almost 48 hours and it feels like 150 degrees out, with full humidity. You’ve had to stop twice already to vomit from heat exhaustion and you still occasionally gag even though there’s nothing in your stomach to come up anymore. All the years that you did not appeal to insects are making up for it now, they’re all over you and you can’t walk 3 steps without one getting in your eye.  The jungle gets tighter and you can’t breathe because it’s pushing in on you almost as tight as the hands on your shoulders pushing you forward..

You start crying. At least, that is what you tell yourself as you whimper and sob as quietly as you can. You know you’re strong, but this is just beyond reason that any normal person could take. And when you think about how this is probably what life was all the time in Delta for the boys, you cry even harder because you feel guilty, that you have no right to complain.

Finally, after what feels like forever, the tightness of the jungle seems to loosen. More open. You notice some of the trees look more oddly arranged than others. As you get closer you realize they aren’t trees at all, but tents and dilapidated buildings built into the shadows of the trees.  The huge roots and overhanging canopy of the jungle transformed a bustling camp into what looks like a little village. At the entrance, a line of guards in jungle fatigues that were impossible to detect until you got right up to them. You hear someone speak above you, alerting you to a man up in the trees on a platform tucked between the branches. There was another in the tree on the opposite side. He calls to the man with the sideburns, saying something in Spanish you can’t interpret fast enough, but it’s jovial and they laugh, and it makes you feel like you’re going to go mentally insane. 

It’s like it’s not even serious to them. And it’s so serious to you.

You are pushed through the camp quickly, but not quick enough that you don’t see the insane amount of cocaine packages piled up in the makeshift buildings, sheds, and tents toward the back. Men were milling about checking them, moving them and glaring at you as you walked past.

You continue past the main camp, crossing over a bustling creek whose bridge was literally just planks of wood, but you noticed there were tire marks across them so you felt at least safe it could handle a car’s weight. Across the creek, an old stonework manor stood. You can tell at one time it must have been glorious, but the white stone-worked walls were dirty and crumbling in many places, the fountains out front had dried crusty palm fronds and dirt in them and looked like they hadn’t sprayed water since the 1980s.

It was still oddly beautiful. You thought about how this house came to be, what it might have looked like when it had been first built. A beautiful Caribbean sea mansion. A jungle that hadn’t closed in on it yet. Fountains spraying and colorful birds resting on the rooftops. But then you  realize that this place has probably always been used for what it is now. Someone like Carl Lehder probably lived here and ran an entire cartel within this very jungle. Maybe it was the same one, just run by someone else.

There was a shabbily made shack to the left of the manor with padlocks, piles of debris piled next to the door. You assume that’s where you would be taken, but you were instead led up the stairs to the manor proper. And as your eyes focus in on the ground while you were being guided to the mansion instead, you realize the heap of matter by the shack that you thought was some dying plantation was actually a crumpled human body. A boy looking not much older than 17, shot execution style in the head and left to rot.

Then smell hits you, your knees buckle and you vomit on the stonework stairs, a scream of shock and realization pierces the jungle, making the nearby tropical birds explode from the treetops. When the sicarios pick you up and carry you through the mansion door, you’re still screaming.

Eventually whoever was carrying you became fed up, and simply dropped you at the bottom of the stairs and dragged you up backwards by the armpits instead. You didn’t even feel the step edges hitting the small of your back all the way up, but you would later. 

You were tossed stricken and shivering on a disgusting, top-sheeted mattress on the floor in the corner of a room, your feet still bound together and your rope-bound hands looped through a radiator that was long enough only for you to lie down or shuffle over to a bucket for your business. Everything stank and you still had vomit on your chin so you curled up in a ball and slammed your eyes closed, hoping that in time the voices and smells and fear would give way to just simple numbness. You didn’t hear a female voice speaking to you for several seconds.

Your eyes snap open, skin pulled taut from dried unwiped tears,and you jolt upright to look in the direction of the voice. A woman who wasn’t even tied up was propped up against the adjoining wall, and as you take in her condition you could understand why they hadn’t even bothered. She wouldn’t have been able to run.

Her legs look..wrong, splaying at angles that shouldn’t be possible. They look like they could be broken, but you can’t tell for sure because she was wearing jeans that cover up most of her skin. The jeans were ripped in some places and stained with dark blood spots, the color turning brighter wherever her skin shows through the tears in the fabric. She’s missing several fingers on her left hand that had been burnt at the ends to cauterize, and her face was black and blue, swollen and smeared with more blood that seemed to be coming from her scalp somewhere. Her lips are pale and cracking and her eyes are glazed over and barely open. When she speaks, she already sounds like she is dead. 

She swallows and winces slightly in pain, then licks her cracked pale lips.“Is…my…her–my brother. Did you see him? Out there?” 

Your face scrunches in confusion, which actually hurts a little and you’re not sure from what specifically. Perhaps you look just as bad as the other girl. “Your–I—I don’t understand.”

She’s too exhausted to even be annoyed with you. “My brother. They took him from me days ago. They do not talk to me anymore. They don’t—need me anymore.” A single tear falls down her swollen cheek and you suddenly feel so much connection with this woman and how  incredibly fucking strong she is. Her eyes roll over to you, meeting yours for the first time. There are burst blood vessels in them. 

“I think that they killed him.”

Your lips part and you utter a shuddering breath as you connect the dots. There’s no point in sugar-coating it. You nod slowly. “I think so. But it’s not…recent.” You look away as her eyes slowly close, the additional tears she was holding back finally spilling over and cascading down her cheeks. 

“Bueno.” She says. “Then at least he is not suffering like me.” 

You both fall quiet and you look over her again. Her pants aren’t completely done up and her t shirt is ripped at the neckline, exposing a gashed shoulder. Almost like…

You start crying again, and you feel even worse about it this time because you have in front of you a woman who has been through much worse and is somehow NOT crying. You curl tighter into yourself to try and hide. 

But she simply asks. “Who are you?”

You swallow, raising your head up off your arms, quickly wiping the access tears off on your sleeve. It’s incredible how adrenaline and fear can sometimes make you the most clear-headed you’ve ever been. Your thoughts are swirling but you knew one thing for damn sure, if they didn’t know your name yet, you weren’t going to say it now. 

If I look forward I am lost. Focus on right now. Nothing else. It’s my best chance.

You know enough about trauma that compartmentalizing this moment is your best chance. You can’t think what will happen if you don’t escape, if you aren’t found, if they never come for you. You need to stay focused. You need to keep hope alive. You need to stay coherent, because if a chance pops up, you need to be able to think quickly.

“I’m no one.” You mumble. “Just happened to be dating the wrong person.”

She sniffs and looks away, but it’s muffled because her nose sounds congested. You don’t miss her tone though. “Mmmm. His new one then.”

You blink. “What?”

Her glazed over, discolored eyes snap back to yours. “Pope.” She spits. “Your man. Santia—”

“NO!” You cut her off with a shout, you know there is a guy who is in the area and you still don’t know how much these men do or do not know. “Don’t. Don’t give them names if they don’t already know it.”

“I don’t give a shit about Agent Garcia, or his friends, or anyone else, it’s their fault I am here and it’s their fault my brother is dead and..” She finally, finally starts to cry. “I told him I didn’t want to do it. They said they would let us go if we gave them what they wanted.”

“It was you.” You exhale with a shuddering breath. “They found us cause of you. You told them.” You shake your head, and for some reason you feel betrayed by this woman even though you’ve never met her.  “How could you?” 

“Because all I care about is my brother, do you understand?! I wish I’d never met him, Garcia, we would have just snuck away and no one would never seen us, but no, instead we listened to him and helped them steal from fucking Lorea, and now they found us and I knew they would, and YES, I gave them EVERYTHING because they said they’d let us go so long as they found you and–”

“Eh!” A voice trails in with a watchman you knew was hanging out somewhere in the hallway beyond. He slips through the doorway, a smaller man you were not expecting from that voice, and leans against the deteriorating door frame. He crosses his arms and his legs and it makes the handgun on his hip jut out prominently from his skinny hips. “No talking to each other.” His voice is silky and the words all slide together so it sounds like ‘no talkintoeeachother.’

You shrink back into the dirty wall behind you as your associate spits a bloody phlegm ball in the man’s direction. “FUCK you!” She snarls, a tirade of cuss words in Spanish flying from her lips. 

A loud pop almost bursts your eardrums and your heart and you exclaim in terror as your associate is shot point blank in the head, her back slumping against the wall and her head hitting with a bang, pieces of blood and brain tissue spraying over the back wall with pieces flying in your direction.  

The man remains completely motionless with his arms still raised before huffing a laugh to himself, putting the gun back on his hip, and looking at you with the such an unaffected gaze it leaves you feeling dizzy and you scream and scream and scream yourself hoarse, crumpling onto your mattress in a terrified heap, arms over your head, sobbing hysterically.

A gentle but firm palm wraps around your forearm, yanking you back up to a seated position. You look away, but the man’s other hand takes you gently by the jaw and makes you look at him. And just behind him, the woman slumped in a pool of blood and brain matter. You try to wriggle out of his grip but he tightens ever so slightly, and you can’t help but notice how different it is when Frankie would grab you like that versus this man. Frankie held you the same, sometimes harder, but you had trusted his domination and his care of you and because of that, it made it arousing. That same motion with this man has you more scared than you ever have been in your life. 

“Bebita.��� He coos, thumb lightly caressing your jaw. He wipes at a small speck of blood you don’t know is even there. You can feel yourself shaking and breathing so fast you can see his half waxed back tousled locks that hang past his temples are blowing in its breeze. You can’t answer him. “Look at me.”

You do. His eyes are a dark, almost black chocolate brown, shape mismatched, a scruffy beard and goatee and thin lips. In another world you would find him devastatingly attractive and the fact that you do makes you feel absolutely violated and disgusted with yourself. 

“Do not cry.” He continues. “You have no reason to if you behave, si? You be good and you listen and I will keep you safe you understand? Well, at least for now.” He shifts closer to you, you can smell his breath. It smells like orange and cloves. “There are a lot of men here Bebita. I am sure you understand what this means, si? Answer me.”

“Yes.” A final fat tear spills from one of your eyes, and it stings as it mixes with your sweat and the raw skin around your eyes. 

He juts his head in the other woman’s direction. “This one, she fight the whole time. I like a easy job. Make my job easy, I make sure you always deal with me. Do not make me call in the other guys, they are not as nice. Understand?”

“Yes.”

“Good.” He releases your chin and you scoot back quickly as he saunters over to the other woman’s bloody body, grabs it by the arm, and casually drags her as dismissively as possible out the door and out of your sight, leaving a bloody trail behind.

At first you just sit there in a slump staring at the opposite wall,, you don’t know for how long. Probably hours. Maybe days. The man, whose name you figured out from when he spoke to someone else in the hall, is Angel. Sometimes he would sit up and watch you, as if figuring you out, your body and the way you shift and switch positions when you are uncomfortable, what it looked like when you were crying and trying to keep quiet and unnoticed. But most of the time he ignored you. Occasionally others would come into the room and either speak to him or approach you, but upon noticing Angel watching them they would hiss or spit a curse and slink off.

The room reminded you of those old houses from the 70s that had those drafty unfinished basements that were simply concrete floors, painted stucco or white brick. To the sicarios, it served as an overflow area, there was a rotting desk along the side wall with a metal folding chair and piles of scattered papers and random household tools on them. Against the opposite side wall was a pretty nice tv, considering, which was always playing soccer. Angel seemed to make that his home base, his lithe frame sprawled across a grandma-fabric sofa, head resting on one of the puffy arm rests. He binge-smoked cigarettes and his right hand was always stretched over his head resting against his forehead in the direction of to an end table with an massive overflowing porcelain ashtray on it. You didn’t used to mind the smell of cigarettes too much but now it makes you feel sick.

You’re ashamed of how little you actually think about your current situation and like the hopeless romantic idiot you are, mostly all you can think about is Frankie. The things he said–you knew he said mean things when he was mad, or things he didn’t mean, but isn’t there always some truth to things that are said in the heat of the moment? That was enough for you to silently spiral. You thought about every memory you had of him and how it could be viewed through the lens that Frankie just wanted to fuck you. Your self confidence was low enough it was believable, and your mind races through every instance of an older man being in a relationship with someone much younger and how of course it was predatory, and how could you not see it, that you didn’t have anything in common? It’s a tale as old as time. He just wanted to fuck you, he wanted to fuck you and dominate you, his dark desires seducing you into feeling so wanted you can’t believe you thought he loved you and didn’t see right through it. 

And his friends, well, they were all in on it weren’t they, because why would they want to hang out with someone like you either? Why would men such as that actually want to be friends with you when you have never experienced half of what they have.

Fuck him. Fuck him and his lying ass, he was a fucking loser addict and you’re pissed at yourself for even considering him. Like how lonely were you?? To choose an old man with a kid who served in an institution that represented everything you hated about this country? To be so easily blinded by pretty words and love bombs to immediately take your clothes off. Because how, if he actually loved you or even like you, could he possibly have lied about something so big?! Or bought you something nice with all that fucking drug money he stole. Not that you’d want it or expected it, but why wouldn’t you want to treat someone you love as much as he claimed to? 

How could he sit there and make up what happened to Tom like that, when you were being so coddling and trying to be a caring ear. And Benny…Pope...if they were your friends they should have told you, that’s what real friends do…

But they weren’t your friends. They were never your friends. 

And if you went the other way, and considered that it was all true, that he did love you, that they were all your friends, and that he lied to you and threw stones to hurt you and push you away, how was that any better? You couldn't even think about a future not being with him, but obviously he could. He could watch you cry and question him and not even look at you, completely ignore you, then not even think about you again. No texts, no calls. No “I’m sorry, please come back.” Silence. 

How could it be so easy for him? How can he just go about his life like you never happened? Why did you still care?

Why did you still want him? 

Why did you still love him so so much. Part of you wishes they’d get on with it and just kill you. At least then you wouldn’t have to feel this excruciating pain. You wouldn’t have to see him show up to rescue you because he has to, to have to see his fucking face and every line, crinkle, scar, the bald patch in his beard and the tousled little curls that pop out of his hat…only for him to save you and then leave again, or die and then you have the guilt of killing a man who no longer loved you.

Yea. You think you’d rather die.

You feel like you’re going to throw up again. You’d let him force his cock in your mouth as far as it could go, let him tie you up and fuck you hard enough to leave bruises you had thought of as a badge of honor. You’d let him cum on your face. You’d let him fucking cum inside you! He’d gaslit you so you actually wanted him to tie you up with zip ties—-

Your heart almost stops. You can picture how his face looked exactly when he said it.

Sometimes rope can give over time.

That’s why we always used zip ties.

You look down at your bound hands.

They’re bound with rope.

[livingmydreams13]

I'm sorry but I have to do this 😭 @astoryisaloveaffair

I'm going to post it on my tik tok soon (skai.ripa89)

PS: this is just a random face claim, el lector es anónimo e inclusivo según el escritor

[quicksilversg1rl]

HE’S INNOCENT YOUR HONOUR ྀིྀི

[fettuccin-e]

So Good

Kinktober Day 17: Praise Kink

Tags: Miguel O'Hara x Reader, afab!fem!reader, unprotected piv, fingering (r!recieving), praise kink of course, Miguel has a filthy fucking mouth, shy!reader, miguel going feral because of course he does (w/c: 1.2K)

A/N: Back on my Miguel bullshit for my Kinktober catch-up of course. I cannot help it when he is so big and broad and sexy okay??? Anyway enjoy him goin' feral for his girl for 1k words hehehe (For the month, I have been following this list from flightlessangelwings!)

He first noticed it after a mission, and cursed himself for never seeing it before. 

It had been innocent, tugging you close to his side as you both walked through the portal back to HQ, whispering a “you did good out there,” into your ear. Innocent enough.

But you had practically squeaked, your eyes looking anywhere but him, nearly pulling out of his grasp. Miguel saw how your thighs clenched together at the compliment, and it takes everything in him not to take you in the hallway right then, bury his face between them.

He doesn’t. He opts for filing it away in his mind, saving the information for later, somehow knowing that it would be important.

You both hadn’t been together for very long then, still in the trial stage of this new beautiful thing between you both. He was still hesitant to kiss you then, you had still been hesitating to go to his apartment with him.

But Miguel watches, waits, and of course, gathers more information. Starts complimenting you more on missions, in the office. Tells you what good work you’ve done, how you look so pretty in the new dress he bought you. It makes you fluster nearly immediately, your gaze pinned to the floor as you smile shyly, and fuck, those gorgeous, gorgeous thighs clench together every time. Taunting him.

Finally, after months of watching, waiting, he gives in.

He’s got you spread out beneath him, practically sobbing as he fucks you deep on his thick fingers. You loosen up so easily for him, desperate for it, your slick fucking dripping around his hand. Finally, after so long waiting to tell you exactly what goes on in his mind when he has you like this,  he lets himself speak aloud.

“So good, hermosa, taking me so well,” he murmurs, and watches as your eyes fly open, a strangled moan flying from your lips. He can’t help the smile that plays at his lips. “You like that baby? Like hearing how good you are, how perfect you sound when I’m playing with this gorgeous pussy?” He can fucking feel the way your cunt clenches around his fingers with his words.

“Fuck, oh my God, Miguel-” you gasp, but you can’t seem to help yourself as you grind your hips towards Miguel’s hand. He adds another finger, stretching you wide to take his cock. “You- you can’t just-”

Miguel growls, leaning forward to nip at your jaw with fanged teeth. “Oh baby, of course I can. I can tell you how fucking good this pussy feels around my fingers, how it’s going to feel even better around my cock. This little cunt gets so wet for me, doesn’t she?” You whine wordlessly, and Miguel grinds the calloused pads of his fingers into that sweet spot that makes you fucking scream for him. “Answer me,” he snarls.

“Yes! Yes, ‘m so fucking wet, need you to fuck me so bad, Miguel,” you cry, humping your hips desperately into his hand, chasing your orgasm. 

“Come on, sweetheart, soak my fucking hand,” he says, deep and dark, his eyes trained on the way your entrance leaks around his fingers. He reaches a thumb up to rub hard circles into your clit, and chuckles darkly when you let out a shaky moan with your orgasm, clenching around his thick fingers and somehow getting even wetter.

“So fucking pretty when you cum for me,” he mumbles, and your eyelids flutter shut, trying to breathe through the aftershocks.

Miguel pulls his hand out of your gaping entrance, bringing his hand to his mouth and sucking your slick off his fingers. “Tastes so good, baby,” he murmurs, and you whine softly under your breath, completely at a loss for words.

Leaning down, he licks into your mouth, giving you a taste of yourself as he notches the thick, leaking head of his cock to your entrance, pushing in, in, in.

Like every time you take him, it’s so much, and you gasp into his mouth as his cock reaches so deep inside, spreading you wide enough that you fear you’ll break.

“I know, amorcita, I know, it’s so much, isn’t it?” he whispers against your lips as he pushes in to the hilt. "You’re taking it so well for me though, baby, so fucking good for me.” 

He can’t help the groan that wrenches its way out of his throat when you clench around him like a vice, moaning high in the back of your throat. His hips move of their own accord, pulling slowly out of you before he shoves himself back in, and it feels like he reaches even deeper.

“God, Miguel-” you moan, “it feels so good, you feel so big.” And Miguel’s vision blurs at the edges, his eyes tingeing red at your words.

He loses himself to it, the way your cunt squeezes him every time he pushes inside, hot and tight and fucking maddening. You claw at his shoulders every time he presses deep, grinding the tip of his cock into your cunt while overwhelming pleasure sparks up your spine.

He wraps his strong arms around the small of your back, tugging you up into a nearly impossible arch as he fucks into you like a goddamn animal, your head pressed back into the pillows. “So fucking perfect,” he snarls, and God, he’s not even talking to you anymore. His eyes are unfocused, wild, unable to focus on your face or the sight of your swollen pussy as you take him over and over and over. But he doesn’t stop talking. 

“Fucking perfect, beautiful girl, taking my cock so goddamn well. My fucking girl, so good to me with her perfect pussy, feels so good, Dios, necesito este cuerpo constantemente, mi nena, mierda-”

Your head swims, blood pounding in your ears as he takes and takes and takes. You feel tears fall down your cheeks, choked moans forcing their way from your lungs.

Your orgasm rips through you without warning, without buildup, your body just locking up and electrified like a livewire as you soak his cock, his thighs. 

“Good girl,” he rasps. “That’s my good fucking girl.”

“Shit- Miguel-” you keen, but he only shushes you, nearly hissing through his fangs, as he pushes as deep as he can into your body, pumping you full as his cock pulses inside of you. It’s fucking everything, pure bliss, and you both tremble through it together. He lowers your hips slowly back down to the bed, keeping himself buried deep inside while you quake through the aftershocks.

Time passes, but you can’t tell how fast it does. Only that you try to match your breathing together, Miguel wiping the tears off your cheeks. “Fucking perfect,” he whispers, but you’re too fucked out to respond.

He pulls out slowly, rolling you to your side, and plastering himself to your back. You can hear the way he breathes you in, and you settle into his warm body.

“Got a thing for compliments, baby?” he murmurs into your hair.

“You ass, I was trying to be subtle about that,” you admonish, but you can’t help the way you smile.

“Can’t hide anything from me, sweetheart,” he chuckles, his chest rumbling against your back. You tilt your head to the side, and Miguel leans to meet you in a kiss.

“I’ve still got my secrets, O’Hara,” you mutter against his lips, and Miguel grins.

“If you say so, baby.”

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

he’s staring.

in the corner of your eye lies a silhouette, a blur of black hair and sharp facial features. awfully hard not to notice, when he’s standing so close to you — gazing at you so intently. waiting for you to say something.

(resisting the urge to look at him directly is a struggle.)

a smile tugs at the corners of your lips, something giddy and sweet flooding your veins. he’s just standing there. all while you tap at the keys of your laptop, trying to focus on your work. in vain.

because, inevitably, the rubber band of your patience snaps — and you can do nothing but give in to the temptation. feeling him shift from foot to foot, silent as a mouse. you turn your head.

suguru looks meek.

there he stands, tired eyes trailing over your facial features, before falling down to the floor. something about it makes you want to coo — almost like he’s a little flustered. fidgeting with his hands, wringing his long fingers together, so patiently waiting for your attention to fall on him. 

you swear you see the ghost of a pout slip into the curve of his lips. wearing a comfortable sweater, oversized and fluffy, framed by the obsidian of his hair; cascading down his shoulders like a black river. let loose, free to fall as it please, a signature sign that he’s tired.

and as soon as your eyes meet his, a certain something blossoms within the scope of his iris. peeling at the corners, slipping into the amber and cedar, an emotion you can’t quite place. would it be too tacky to call it love?

a giggle slips from your lips, dancing on the tip of your tongue. it’s soft, a little teasing, but who could blame you when he looks so cute? suguru, with his tall stature and broad shoulders, sharp eyes and intimidating presence, staring meekly in your direction. as if too embarrassed to ask for something, curling into himself.

”hey there,” you exhale, something amused laced into the vowels. ”everything okay?”

he averts his gaze. enamored with the smile on your face, the crinkle of your eyes, the melodic lilt of your sweet laughter. like peach blossoms and duvet covers, too soft for him to handle. far too sweet, the mere sight of you, all cozied up on the couch; legs crossed and laptop balanced on your thigh. 

(suguru wishes he could take its place.)

a tilt of your head beckons him to speak, and he can’t help but notice the remnants of something teasing in the gesture. he feels a little out of his element, almost shy, and it’s discomforting — but he’s just so tired. much too plagued by the need to be close to you.

he can live with a little teasing, if it’s you, only if it’s you. 

”what’re you working on?” he asks, delicate, soft voice flowing from his lips like melted honey. there’s a raspy tilt to it, a little scratchy. you smile, gaze drawn towards the screen in front of you.

”nothing much, just some essay. i’m almost finished.” a low sigh, as you lazily scroll through the text. suguru hums. when you look over at him, the smile on your face grows just a tad softer. ”did you need something?”

suguru stills. blinking drowsily, slow and awfully endearing, a flutter of his black lashes. absentmindedly fidgeting with the hem of his puffy sleeve. the silence lingers, a contemplation etched onto his features, until he clears his throat — still unable to look at you properly. 

(there’s only one thing he wants. needs. asking for it is just a little bit tough, though.)

patiently waiting, you begin to study his expression. second nature, to tuck his features in between your ribs, smoothe along the contours you’ve come to love so dearly. memorizing every dip and birthmark.

there’s a barely noticeable flush to his cheeks, a crimson smear that starts at his ears and only ever nips along his cheekbones, but it’s enough to let you know that he’s embarrassed. more than enough, seeing as his gaze won’t even land on you, seeing the fatigue beneath his eyes, the crease between his brows. something that sticks to his skin and drags him down. 

he has been a little stressed, lately. more so than usual. and you’ve noticed, of course you have — worriedly waiting for him to approach you, to let you help. winters are never very kind to him. 

he’s gorgeous, though, even like this. especially like this. sleepy, just a little unkempt, in his natural state. bare, somehow. like he just woke up, like the morning sun is kissing up his collarbone and he just made a cute little sleepy noise that you’re going to tease him for over breakfast. like he’s unguarded, at peace, safe in your arms.

it makes your heart soften considerably. crumbling at the corners, a pang of lovesick ache tugging at your fragile heartstrings.

and finally, you speak up. urging him to continue, gently, not wanting to rush him. ”well?” 

suguru gnaws at the flesh of his bottom lip, just a little chapped. his tongue flits out to lick along the dry skin, and he does a little cough under his breath. you’re patient, waiting for him to speak, but it’s tough when all you want is to tug him close.

(you have an idea of what he’s going to ask you, what it is he wants. because you know him — and you want it too.)

”… can,” he starts, tentative. slow, as if he’s trying to swallow the embarrassment, gulp down the nervous flutter of his heartbeat. then he continues. ”i get a hug?”

finally, he looks at you; and your heart ricochets in your chest. amber eyes boring into yours, deep and warm, soft around the edges. kind of shy. 

a sharp intake of breath. you can’t help the grin that crawls up to your lips, and you can’t help the words that spill from them. ”gosh, you’re so cute.”

suguru turns away, with what you’re almost sure is a low grumble — buzzing in his throat, like a dragonfly itching to break out. he really does look meek, a little needy, so cute you’re afraid your lungs might collapse. when a chuckle pushes past your lips, the red tint on his neck and ears only seems to exacerbate. 

with swift movements, you close your laptop, plopping it down on the table in front of you. not wanting to waste any time, a little afraid that he’ll change his mind. ”of course you can,” you assure him, a soft lull of your tongue.

leaning back, you rest your head against a pile of cushiony pillows, melting into the couch beneath you. extending your arms; beckoning him close, into your embrace. the smile you grace him with is a little teasing, but mostly soft, inviting.

and suguru can’t resist it.

he still seems a little flustered, as he crawls along the couch, to take his rightful place in your arms. flopping down on top of you with a huff, like a big dog, cheek squished against your chest — eager to listen to the echo of your heartbeat. steady and soothing, a lullaby to his muddled mind.

a long, satisfied sigh escapes him, muffled into the fabric of your shirt. he wraps his arms around you, nuzzling a little further into your touch. slowly melting.

ah, he’s just too much. try as you might, you don’t fully manage to stifle the coo that laces the tip of your tongue. just admiring him, in the dim lighting of the room, all sleepy and content. that palpable fatigue, slowly dissipating. a soft groan slips from his lips when your hand goes to card through his hair, softly, nails raking over his scalp.

”my big baby,” you murmur, planting a kiss on the top of his head. suguru wants to grumble, protest a bit, but all he can do is soak in the words, the skip of his heartbeat that follows. ”everything okay?”

he nods. groggy, cheek against your soft chest. no longer able to hide his neediness, to muster the strenght, thoroughly soothed by the warmth that seeps from your body. from your veins to his. and he sighs, barely above a whisper. ”jus’ missed you.”

he must notice it, you think — the rapid rhythm of your heartbeat, something erratic in the decisive thumps of blood. a little louder than they should be. 

but if he does, he doesn’t mention it. only shifting a little in your arms, nuzzling further into your chest, relishing in the sensation of your hand in between his messy locks. so cozy. 

”i missed you too,” you echo, unable to fight off the sappy grin on your lips. so much affection in every caress, every soft glance. eager to be let out. ”’m sorry if i’ve been neglecting you.” 

suguru shakes his head — brushing off your guilt. always so willing to put your peace of mind before his. it only weakens you further, thoughts fuzzy with the image of him, the love that clouds your vision. how to properly convey it in words. 

”i’m always so proud of you,” you exhale, a little shaky. so earnest that you falter. a loud mantra of your heartbeat filling your ears, so much fondness stuffed inside your chest. ”working so hard. love you so, so much, honey.”

this time, it’s suguru’s heart that stutters and flails. reduced to a desperate instinct, something intimate and bare. the term of endearment slips off your tongue like it was always meant to be there, like that’s where it belongs, coupled with the soft sensation of your fingers ghosting over his skin. brushing away his bangs to smear a kiss against his forehead.

”i’m never gonna let you go,” you promise, unable to control the affection smeared into your voice. like you’d explode if you didn’t speak it out loud. ”my angel.”

”okay — that’s,” suguru croaks, before you can continue. exasperated, deeply embarrassed. at this point, he’s sure his face must be red, and he’s sure you can see it. despite his attempts to hide away in the crook of your neck. ”that’s enough.”

laughter bubbles up in your throat, sweet like osmanthus and whipped cream. giddy and teasing, in equal measure, sending a jolt of fondness running through his veins. ”are you embarrassed?”

”no,” he scoffs, too quickly. you both know he’s lying. it’s a rare treat, seeing him this flustered — how could you resist the urge to tease him a bit? 

”then why d’you want me to stop?” you grin, searching for his gaze. but suguru refuses to look at you.

”it’s just…” he mumbles, a string of tiny words. gnawing at his bottom lip. ”a little much, don’t you think?”

”i mean it, though.”

suguru groans, and a bout of giggles pushes past your lips. the smile on your face is starting to make your cheeks hurt, an achy kind of joy. yeah — suguru is just far too cute. he’s cute, and pretty, and beautiful, and gorgeous. how could you keep yourself away?

reaching for a strand of his hair, you let it fall between your fingers. smooth and silky, brushing against your skin, soft and familiar. memories bloom from your fingertips, seeping into your subconscious; the first time he let you touch his hair, that content purr in his throat, the time you braided it as the world fell asleep around you. he takes good care of it, always has. attentive and delicate, almost as lovingly as he handles you.

a great surge of affection sprouts in between your ribs, spreading throughout every cell of your body, wholly engulfing you. it’s too much to bear.

a blissful sigh. you tilt your head, softly, a bleeding tenderness to every word you speak. and you do, with a sincerity to your voice that he’s never been able to handle. “is it really so strange if i want to give the love of my life some affection?” 

— and suguru’s resolve crumbles into dust. 

”… you’re,” he tries, a shiver of his weak voice. under normal circumstances, he could think of a suave reply, something to get the upper hand; but today, suguru happens to be very tired, and you seem awfully set on making him melt through the couch. ”— awful. you know that?”

his heart aches, when the bitter words make you giggle. a little sleepy. it makes him want to tuck you into his chest, hide you away inside his ribcage. kiss you breathless.

”so mean,” you pout, entirely fabricated. a heavy amusement lays thick on your tongue. “i’m professing my undying love for you here, y’know?”

”that’s exactly what i mean,” he sighs, unable to repress the slight smile on his lips. a little tug, that says more than his words ever could.

the laughter in your throat lingers, for a bit, until the intimacy of the moment softens you up. something tender and genuine in the depths of your eyes. ”i mean it, though. i’m not just teasing you.” 

your hand goes to cup his face, thumb smoothing over his cheekbone. and then you’re leaning in, to press your lips against his forehead — pulling away with a drawn out mwah, a soft grin, a little boyish. terribly cute. 

”i really do love you,” you profess, a whisper. he believes you. “i love everything about you.”

a moment passes. the soft ticking of the clock fills the space between your words, and the scent of leftover curry and brewed coffee simmers in the faraway kitchen. wafting out into the living room. 

suguru places his hand over yours. a rough palm, always so gentle with you, slipping down to your wrist so he can hoist himself up. 

you blink. 

before you know it, he’s pressed his lips to yours, slow and methodical. tender, tender, tender. always. he sighs into the kiss, content, and your heartbeat quickens — he tastes like honey and rain.

when he pulls away, he’s smiling. a little lovesick.

”i love you too,” he hums, a soft purr that trails down your spine. he delights in the way you finally blush, cheeks warm beneath his heavy hands. ”so, so much.”

all you can do is stare, entirely transfixed. 

then you’re averting your gaze, and he’s stifling a soft bout of laughter, and something warm and wonderful blooms in the nearly non-existent space between you. his cheek finds itself pressed against your chest, again, allowing the soft and rapid thumping of your heartbeat to carry him away.

an anchor for him to hold on to, his lighthouse at the end of a murky ocean. it’s always, always there — that soft mantra of thump, thump, thump.

(he can’t tell you how many times it’s saved him.)

”… you can’t do stuff like that when my guard is down,” you murmur, after a moment. sheepish. ”what if my heart explodes?” 

suguru only chuckles, sleepy and raspy, the same as ever. he turns his head to press a kiss against the fabric of your shirt, right above your heart, a kind of cheeky, soft apology that you know he doesn’t actually mean. 

(he could never feel sorry for telling you how much he loves you; no matter how flustered you get.)

and, at last, suguru thinks the fatigue clinging to his soul may have slipped off entirely. substantially. soothed by your presence, your very being. 

it’s embarrassing, being so very doted on, being so painfully unaccustomed to it. but suguru could never hate it. he could never hate a single thing you do to him, grant him with, from your soft touches and cheeky kisses to the burnt pancakes you worked so hard on. 

he’d rather die than deny you. 

so he has no choice but to bask in it; the feeling of your hands in his hair, nails on his scalp, breath against his skin. the change you’ve brought into his life. bringing with you the fading scent of peach blossoms and chewing gum, sweetness and softness. happy dreams.

yeah, that’s right. he has no choice but to melt into your touch, nuzzle into your chest, fall asleep to the sound of your heartbeat. 

no choice at all.

[megahertzmaroon]

Snow Angels // 9-2

Silly EXTREMELY abridged fanart for the killer fucking fic THE END OF ALL KNOWN LAND. Please be warned it is explicit and to please only read if you’re 18+ otherwise go wild it’s gorgeous and beautiful and-

[eraenaa]

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)

Inspired by the song "I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)" by Taylor Swift

Rafe Cameron x Reader

Summary: Trust me, I can handle me a dangerous man.

Warnings: Substance Use, Possessiveness, Jealousy, ¿Kinda Toxic Relationship?, Mention of Violence, Mature, 18+, P in V Sex, Shower Sex, Oral Sex (F & M receiving), Fingering, Choking, Boobjob, Filmed Sexual Relations, Not Proofread 

Word Count: 2,372

A/N: Sorry for being MIA finals week was rough and I was kinda burnout hence the almost month long hiatus but Taylor's new album revived me, so maybe expect more works inspired by TTPD songs!

You sat quietly as Rafe rested his warm hand on your thigh. You waited for him to finish his drink as he laughed around with his boys at the bar. Their voice echoed through the establishment, garnering curious glances from the other patrons present. You feel him squeeze your thigh tighter, his little signal that he wanted some affection, maybe a kiss or a touch from you. He turned to you, pupils enlarged from the little pill he took, “Are you bored?” He asked, and you quickly shook your head, placing your hand on the back of his head, and ran your nails gently against his skull. “No, baby,” You murmured and moved to kiss his lips, tasting the brandy on his tongue. Rafe parted from your kiss, looking intently into your eyes to see off you lied; he seemed satisfied enough and returned to his conversations with his friends. 

You hear the offensive joke that Rafe said a bit too loudly and held your breath. Placing your hand on his shoulder, hoping it would snap some sense into him, it usually did. You feel pitying and feared glances pointed towards you. The bartender to your left shook their head and muttered, “God help her,” when they realized you were with Rafe. A man who was notorious for his rage and ill temper. He was often perceived as rash and maybe even psychotic. Perhaps their judgment of him was true… but that is what attracted you to him anyway. You could not help but be intrigued by him and his imposing and reckless demeanor. You were certain you could tame him. You said to yourself, “I can fix him; no, really, I can.” 

He drove the both of you home. A bit of a misjudgment on your part, seeing how intoxicated he was, but there was something thrilling about him taking the reigns while still addled with dopamine and alcohol. There was something seductive in the way his hand would trail upward and upward on your thigh as he raced down the streets of the Outer Banks. But there was something different this night. There was tension in him that did not come from the lust you and him were succumbing to. “What’s wrong?” You asked, taking hold of his arm, caressing it in a way that made gooseflesh rise on his flesh. You bit your lip as his hold on you was tighter; you were certain it would once again leave his mark. “Everyone in that bar was looking at you… they were looking at what’s mine.” He snarled and pressed flat on the gas, making you speed down the streets so carelessly, but you could not find care as that elicited a wave of want in you. “They were only looking…” You trailed, testing to see what reaction it would garner from Rafe. 

You watch him shake his head, his jaw clenching in annoyance. “They were looking at what’s mine. They were practically undressing you with their eyes— imagining stealing you from me,” He gritted as you were nearing home. You voiced your disagreement, but that only seemed to enrage him more. “You enjoyed it, didn’t you, huh? You fucking enjoyed their attention.” Rafe accused, and your eyes darkened at his words. Just as the rage in him burned quickly, it died in a snap. You removed his hold on your thigh and stole away your touch on his arm. You did not wait for him to open the door of the passenger seat for you but instead got out of the confined space you were trapped in and left him. “Baby, wait, I—“ Rafe called, any irritation in his voice gone the moment he realized he had offended you. 

You were nearing your bedroom door, ready to lock him out for the night and repent for his offense, but he caged you in his arms, pulling you close to him. Burying his head at the side of your neck, he offered his apologies. “I’m sorry baby… I just don’t wanna lose you,” You hear his muffled boys. Smirking to yourself as you actually got an apology from him. From all the stories you heard of Rafe, ranging from his family to his friends and even his past flings, not one of them got an apology or anything that resembled half of it from him. But here he was, saying sorry over and over again, waiting for your reply. You kept silent for a while longer, and you felt him move over to the front of you, trying to kiss your lips, but you moved your head to the side. You bit your lip as you hear him puff, surprised by his following action. You watched Rafe sink down on his knees and hold you tightly against him, burying his face in your abdomen, his apologies spewing out from his mouth as if you were a god to whom he offered his prayers, pleading to be heard. You sighed and ran your hand through his hair, hearing him soothingly hum and burrow his head deeper into your abdomen.  

You were about to urge him to stand, but you were rendered frozen, and your breathing hitch when you feel his fingers take hold of your dress, hiking it higher. “Rafe,” you called as his lips trailed kisses on your exposed skin, his breath teasing your core that had already been aching for him. “I’m sorry,” He said once more, and you could only sigh as he placed a kiss between your thighs. You held tightly onto him as he lapped your folds, showing you just how sorry he was. “Rafe… Fuck, Rafe,” you called as he inserted a finger, but you were already on the verge of an orgasm by just the way his nose burrowed into your nubbin. “Do you forgive me, my baby?” Rafe asked, and you could only moan out your agreement and hear him hiss as you pulled on his hair and came down hard on his fingers and face. 

You hummed as you woke the next day with Rafe tracing hearts on your face; he had been watching you sleep. You gazed at him through the hazy sight of the fresh morning, “You look so pretty when you sleep,” Rafe said softly, and you smiled up at him. Gone in his system were the substances that were his ruin, but he could not deny. You quite liked him in this state, but you knew he would rather have his mood be altered by opioids and any other drugs that he believed would aid him. It won’t. And you just need to change that outlook of his or at least find another drug that would not be his ruin. 

“You’re mine,” Rafe gritted in your ear, his arms wrapped tightly around you as he realized every bastard at the party was staring at you. “I’m yours,” You repeated to calm the rage in him. He did not consume anything harsh or damnable per your request, but you were starting to rethink your decision because apparently Rafe, without his usual pick me up, was rather more paranoid and frantic. Every little interaction you have with the opposite sex pushes him closer over the edge. “Rafe,” you sighed as he stepped away, challenging a guy whose gaze had been flying to you the whole night. “The fuck you staring at, huh! Do you want a fucking fight, bro?! Stop staring at my gi—“ Rafe screamed, and you pulled at him with all of your might for him to face you and save the innocent man from being beaten up to a pulp. You turn to Rafe’s friends, urging them to help, them being the able-bodied ones to escort Rafe outside to calm down. 

You stood before him as he sat by the ledge of a planter box. His head was in his hands as he tried to calm his ragged breathing. You stood silently as he took out a box of cigarettes and hastily lit a stick. “Stop looking at me like that,” Rafe spat, and you furrowed your brows at his words. “Like what?” You asked, and Rafe shook his head and took a long drag of a cigarette. “Like you’re disappointed! I know that look all too well,” He scoffed, and you took in a deep breath, stepping closer to him. Squatting down to meet him at eye level, placing a kiss on his cheek, and your hand found home at the back of his head again, running your fingers through his hair, noting how he would lean into your touch. “I’m not disappointed,” you say in earnest, but Rafe scoffs at your words. “You are. Don’t lie to me.” He gritted and threw the bud of his cigaret onto the ground, the glowing embers slowly dying down like the rage in him. 

“I never lie to you,” You say softly, placing your hold on the side of his face. “I’m yours, Rafe,” you say softly. “You’re mine.” He answered back. “Exactly. Then why are you trying to fight those others who are completely insignificant to us?” You ask softly, brushing your thumb across his brow, watching as his eyes fluttered close and a sigh left his lips. “Because I know what they want. I know they want what’s mine.” He gritted, tensing in anger once more, his fists clenching and warning danger. “But they won’t get to have it, won’t they?” You asked and stared deeply into his ocean eyes as they opened once more. “No. Never.” He swore, and you smiled, placing a kiss on his lips. 

Kissing you was the greatest high Rafe felt. The high he now realized was the only one he’d want to chase. Nothing chemically and artificially induced could compare to your lips. “Let’s go back inside,” Rafe said after your kiss had sedated his rage. “On one condition,” You said and stood your ground as he tried to pull you back into the direction of the party. You pulled him to you, flushing your bodies, and returned your hand to caress his troubled head. “No more invoking fights? Stop glaring at those guys?” You asked and watched as he frowned at your words. “I… I can probably do no more fighting— but baby, come on, they keep staring at you and—“ You shook your head and interrupted him. 

“Be a good boy tonight, and later… I’ll do what you’ve been asking me to do since last month,” You hindered your grin as you watched Rafe’s jaw turn slack, his eyes now intoxicated and dilated with the thought of you. “What do you say?” You asked, batting your lashes at him, trailing your fingers against his forearm, your eyes already catching a glance of the dent in his trousers. “I’ll be a fucking angel if you want.” He almost growled. And you let him usher you back to a party with a smile beaming on your face. 

Rafe kept true to his word. There was practically a halo around his head for the rest of the night. Foregoing his pilled and powdered remedies, even tossed out the intoxicating liquid in his glass. You thought miracles never happened, but Rafe even let you join your friends on the dance floor without him. You saw as he reigned in the hellish thoughts in him as men around danced by your side. Instead, he stood still in his spot, his mind on the thought of heaven you’ll present him if he played nice. 

You, too, kept true to your words. You were on your knees, your hands pushing your tits together, and in between them was Rafe’s cock. A video camera by your side as Rafe had been begging you almost everyday for a home video together. Reasoning that ‘it would be a reminder of you when you are away.’ And the thought of you is the only thing that gets him on. “Fuck, baby— god, you’re so good. How are you this good?” Rafe groaned as you fucked him with your tits. It was the best reward for him, you rarely gave him head, and this was the first time you ever fucked anyone this way. Rafe fisted the sheets as you wrapped your lips around the tip of his cock again. He moaned out your name as you took him deeper into your mouth, the sound of you gagging on his cock spurring him on. But before he could come, before he could reach a different and higher level of high he always sought, you pulled away. 

“Baby… oh, baby, please, you can’t do this to me,” he almost begged, his eyes in a daze at the sight of you messy from sucking his cock. You crawled upwards and hung from his lips, him already expecting a kiss. “Fuck me in the shower,” Was all you said before you hastily dispread to the bathroom and turned the faucet on. It took a few moments for Rafe to process your words, but once he did. He quickly stood, took the camera, and positioned it to point toward you, who was already soaking wet. 

Rafe was quick to push you against the glass shower door, already excited to watch the video of you and your tits against the glass. “Yes… oh, god, like that,” You cried as Rafe mercilessly pounded behind you. He gathered your hair and gripped it back, eliciting a burning yet pleasurable sensation. “You’re always so prim and proper… but looked at you, you fuck like a whore,” Rafe gritted, and your eyes rolled back as he positioned his thrust to hit the spot that made your words incoherent. “You like that, huh, baby? You like it when I fuck you, dumb?” He asked, not expecting a reply but rather your moans. Rafe relinquished his hold on your hair and instead gripped your throat. Pounding harder into you as he felt you clench tighter around him, your body shaking and on the precipice of orgasm. “Mine. Mine, mine, mine.” Rafe gritted out as he, too, was close. “Yours. All yours, Rafe.” You cried as you came around him. Panting his name as he clung in the high that was you. 

I screamed when I first listened to the song that inspired this fic, bc Rafe was the most prominent thing that it conjured in my mind.

[bones-of-a-rabbit]

readerbot fic chap4 sneapea

yeah thats it thats the chapter

bonus

[ulgapodatkowa]

cry all you want but at the end of the day I am forever and always a slut for "the confession comes from the seemingly less emotional one of the two" trope and I will watch it again and again to devour it properly

[hischierhoney]

Be Good

Nico Hischier x Reader

Summary: 3.6k of just. long hair Nico smut. very little plot honestly. sorry in advance this is a lot. @theemporium & I have been spiraling over long hair nico for days and this is what I came up with

Warnings: oh boy. sexual content 18+, minors dni!, hair pulling, oral sex fem receiving, mild spanking (?), unprotected sex, overstimulation, I think that’s it but let me know if I missed anything?

When Nico nearly tackles you in a hug the second he walks in the door of your apartment, the first thing you notice is his hair. Realistically, his hair hasn’t grown that much since you last saw him. It’s only been a few days. But it is long, longer than normal, longer than he likes it to be, and it’s been a bit since you've been able to run your hands through it.

“It’s so long,” you say, twisting the strands between your fingers.

He groans into the crook of your neck. “I know. I have an appointment to get it cut tomorrow.”

You let out a whine and throw your head back dramatically. “Why?”

He just laughs this time around. “Because it’s long. And annoying. And the boys are chirping me about it.”

“I don’t care what the boys think,” you grumble, as he pulls his head from the crook of your neck. “Don't you care more what I think?”

He sighs, cupping your face in his hands. You love the look he gives you- so full of amusement and care and sweetness. He’s missed you, too. You know it without him even saying it.

“Of course I do,” he says, leaning close until the words wash over your cheek. He brushes his lips there, and you let your eyes flutter closed. “I care the most about you, always.”

Then he’s kissing you, soft and sweet and full of everything you’re already feeling. You part your lips for him, happily, easily. His hands slide up to hold your waist, fingers pressing into you softly, twisting the fabric of his t-shirt that you’re wearing. When his tongue slips into your mouth, you start to melt. He backs you up against the wall, and you place your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself as he hitches one of your legs up around his waist. You’re only in one of his t-shirts and a pair of underwear. He’s so, so close, right there, when he’s been so far away and it’s almost overwhelming. You swear when you thread your fingers into his hair and pull, it’s just because you’re trying to hold on. Nothing more.

Nico knows, though. He groans loudly into your lips, and the kiss gets messy, fast. He tugs your lower lip between his teeth when you give another pull, and white hot desire rolls down your spine. When you let out a soft whine, he pulls away and starts mouthing at your jaw. He’s breathing heavily, chest heaving against yours. His eyes are dark when you finally open yours.

He drops your leg from around his waist, and then taps the side of your thigh lightly. “Bedroom.”

You blink back at him, lips parted, heart racing. Your fingers are still wrapped up in his hair, and you don’t really want to let go. He raises his brows and swats at your ass this time, and you yelp.

“Bedroom,” he repeats, in a firm tone.

You take it more seriously this time and start scurrying towards the bedroom. He’s hot on your heels, hands grabbing at your hips. You giggle as he pulls at you, almost like he’s trying to keep you from going where he told you to. You take his hands in yours, trying to pry them off, trying desperately to make it to the bedroom. When you stumble up to the bed, he lets you fall onto it- you land face first and roll over onto your back, scrambling up the mattress as you laugh. He pulls his shirt over his head, and your breath hitches at the sight of him, at the wide expanse of his chest and shoulders.

He crawls up after you. Your breaths are heavy again. He props himself over you, one arm planted next to your head. His hair hangs in dark tendrils over his forehead, and his chain glitters on his neck. You swallow, trying desperately to steady yourself. It’s not working very well. Your heart thuds in your chest.

He mutters something under his breath, something you’re pretty sure isn’t English, and then he’s kissing you again. It’s more frantic, now, like he needs it. Like you need it. You place one hand on his chest and slip the other into his hair again. His hair, god, the hair- it’s long enough to twist your fingers in, long enough to let the strands slip against your skin. You sigh into the kiss, and he groans again, his chest vibrating against yours.

“Please don’t cut it,” you whine, and he lets out a huff against your lips. “It’s so nice long. Please-“

“Shh,” he says, pressing his lips to your jaw. “It’s okay, baby.”

He draws a line of kisses down your jaw and neck. You squirm underneath him, your skin already feeling boiling hot. When he nips at your neck, you tug on his hair harshly, and he hisses, pinching your hip.

“Please-“ you choke out, staring up at the ceiling.

“Behave,” he mutters. “I’ll give you what you need. Just be good for me.”

You whimper and squeeze your hands so tight in his hair, you’re afraid your knuckles will lock up. He makes a disapproving noise and lifts his head from your neck. He looks at you through hooded eyes, lips red and puffy already, and you know you’re in for it.

“Hands above your head,” he says, and you swear tears start to fill your eyes.

“No, please, I’ll be-“

“I know you will,” he says, sweeter this time. He drags his lower lip against your collarbone and blinks up at you. “Put them above your head anyways, though.”

You whine, but you do as you’re told, knowing better than to keep trying to argue. He reaches up with one hand and helps you settle yours against the pillow, squeezing your wrists lightly with his long fingers. Your face is burning up, along with the rest of you.

“That’s my girl,” he murmurs, pressing his cheek to your skin and sighing.

He pushes your shirt up until it’s bunched around your chest, revealing your breasts and torso to him. You’re staring down at him, taking heaving breaths, utterly entranced with the absolutely destroyed look on his face. He seems out of breath, too, and his eyes are only half open. He presses a kiss to your stomach, just above your navel, and you sigh and kick your feet, feeling restless.

He rumbles out a laugh against your skin. “Do I need to tie you down, baby?”

You squeeze your hands around the pillow and sigh. “Nico, please.”

He drags his lips across your skin, pressing soft kisses to untouched places. Each touch sends sparks up your spine and butterflies swirling in your stomach. He uses one hand to keep himself propped up over you, and the other sweeps up and down your body, tracing lines and designs and squeezing at your skin. You’re burning up. He’s smiling about it, like he just knows. His chain hangs from his neck and brushes against your skin with every movement. Cold metal meets heated skin, and it makes you shiver.

He draws delicate patterns on your skin with his lips, stopping to nip at your collarbone or suck a hockey into the skin of your stomach. When he wraps his lips around your nipple, you cry out, the heat of his mouth enveloping your every sense. His other hand paws at your other breast, and you arch your back. He pinches your nipple in warning. As he starts to drag his mouth downward, leaving bruises along the way, you bury your hands in the feather pillow beneath your head and start to bargain.

“Nico,” you mumble. He doesn’t look up, but you feel him hum against your hip. “Please. Just. I’ll be good-“

“Keep them there,” he says, firmly, and you shiver.

God, he’s so close to exactly where you want him. You squeeze your eyes shut. Like if you don’t look, maybe he’ll do what you want.

“I won’t pull too hard,” you say. “Promise. I’ll be gentle.”

He moves lower, pressing a kiss to the crease of your hip. Then he brushes his lips against the soft skin of your inner thigh. Sparks shoot out across your whole body. If you could just grab his hair, you could lead him right to where you need him, where you’re aching for him, but he knows that. Your panties must be soaked by now.

“It’s not about pulling too hard,” he mumbles. “You couldn’t hurt me if you tried.”

You whine, high pitched and breathy, pulling another chuckle out of him. It would be humiliating if it wasn’t so hot, if you didn’t know how much he truly cares for you. He runs a finger along the seam of your underwear, then presses his thumb against your core, against the wet spot there. He groans, then, and latches his lips onto the skin of your inner thigh, sucking harshly. You yelp, but you keep your hands above your head and your legs mostly still.

“Good girl,” he says into your skin, as he pulls your panties to the side. You buzz with a mixture of pride and pleasure and frustration. “Be good for me and give me just one, just like this, okay? Keep your hands above your head for just one-“ he cuts himself off with a soft sigh. When you look down at him, his eyes are locked between your legs, and your skin grows hot all over again. “Fuck, baby. Just gimme one, and then you can touch, promise. Just-“

In a matter of seconds, he drags your panties down your legs, hooks your knees over his shoulders, wraps his arms around your legs to hold you in place, and dives in.

Your whole body arches off the bed as he buries his face between your legs, but you keep your hands firmly wrapped in the pillowcase. He doesn’t bother with teasing. His fingers dig into your thighs to hold you close as he licks a flat stripe up the center of you, and you do your best not to kick your legs. It only devolves from there. When he wraps his lips around your clit and sucks harshly, you keep your hands wrapped firmly in the pillowcase. When he groans against you, the vibrations rattling your every bone, you keep your hands wrapped firmly in the pillowcase. When he moves lower, tongue slipping inside and nose brushing against your clit, you keep your hands wrapped firmly in the pillowcase. When he slips a finger into you, alongside his tongue, you-

You give up. It’s barreling down on you, and when you sneak a peek at him, all you see are his nearly closed eyes, flushed cheeks, and his hair, curling in sweat soaked tendrils over his forehead. The need to touch and pull and hold takes over, and before you know it, your fingers are buried in his mess of dark hair. When you pull, he lets out a loud, rumbling moan. You’re right on the edge, your whole body buzzing with it, and for just a moment you’re worried he’s going to stop. He told you to keep your hands above your head, and you didn’t listen and he’s going to-

He crooks his fingers in just the perfect way, wraps his lips around your clit, and it hits you so hard you see stars. You’re sure this must hurt- the way you pull his hair so tightly, trying to hold onto some last shred of sanity as he works you through it. Waves of pleasure roll through you, and he-He’s talking, between swipes of his tongue and messy open mouth kisses against you.

“That’s it- there you go, just let it out-“ you realize, then, that you’re gasping for air, muscles twisted up and legs shaking. “Does that feel good, schatz? Mm, I know, I know-“

You’re babbling something, incoherent, as he rubs his cheek against your thigh, stubble burning against your skin.

He sighs. “Breathe, baby. Mm-“

His thumb brushes against your core, where two of his fingers are still buried deep, and you yelp, tugging on his hair again. He laughs. You keep your hands wrapped firmly in his hair. When he starts up again before your breaths have settled, with soft little licks that set your nerves on fire, you try to use your hands to pull him away.

“Come on, baby,” he mumbles, using the arm still wrapped around your legs to pull you close. “You didn’t think you’d get away with it that easy, did you?”

You take in a wobbly breath, going to slip your hands from his hair. “Nico, I-“

“You can keep your hands there,” he says. Your eyes flicker down, and your gaze meets his, dark and almost menacing, and you know you’ve made a grave mistake. “Keep your hands in my hair. Go ahead and try and pull me away, if you want.”

You whine. He grins- you can feel it, against you, and you can see it in his eyes. There are tears in your own eyes, threatening to spill over your lashes. He crooks his fingers inside of you again, and you cry out and try desperately to pull him away. It’s no use. You know the safe word, you know if you really asked him to stop he would. He knows it, too, and he raises a brow expectantly.

“Be a good girl, like I said,” he says, closing his eyes. “And gimme another.”

He settles in, and he works you up to a peak again. And then again, and again, and again. You lose count of the orgasms, lose focus, lose your sanity, really. It turns into a blur of pleasure and overstimulation. He’s so good, and he knows it, knows all the ways to take you apart at every seam. You’re on fire, your fingers cramp up in his hair, and he doesn’t let up. In a brief moment of clarity, you cry out.

“Nico,” you beg, gasping for air, on the comedown yet again. “Nico, please, need you. Need-“

He presses a kiss to your clit, and your whole body shakes. “What do you need, baby? M’right here.”

You whine. “Fuck me, please, I- I need it, I-“

You don’t realize there are tears streaming down your face until he unwinds his arm from around your leg and cups your cheek in his hand. Your lower lip wobbles, and he pouts at you in return. His touch is soft, quite the contrast from the grip of your hands in his hair, or the hold he’s had on you for God knows how long now. He leans up towards you, and when your legs drop to the bed, they shake. He hums proudly, and you squint up at him in what you hope is a menacing fashion.

“Hey, hey,” he mumbles, kissing your cheek. “Don’t glare at me.”

You loop your hands around the back of his neck as he props himself up above you, hands next to your head. He gives you a moment to catch your breath. His eyes dart to your heaving chest, and you smile. You roll his chain underneath your fingers, against his skin, and laugh lightly at the way he shivers at the feeling.

“You sure you can take it?” He asks, smirking.

You slap his shoulder blade lightly and then pinch his neck. “Nico, if you don’t put your dick in me in the next-“

He cuts you off with a kiss, one that feels bruising and bright and strangely tender, in the middle of all of this. Then he tugs at your lower lip with his teeth and you whine, loudly, arching your hips against his. He drags his lips against your face, laughing under his breath.

“You are such a brat, you know that?” He asks.

“But you love me,” you mumble.

“I do,” he says. He kisses your cheek, and then pulls back to look you in the eyes. “Hands above your head.”

You frown immediately, shaking your head. “No! Please, no, just-“

“Just for a bit. Just to start,” he says, voice low and rumbling. “If you pull my hair while I try and do this, it’s gonna be over way too soon.”

You blink at him, and then you laugh, throwing your head back, and throw your hands to the pillow like they’re drawn there magnetically. That’s why he told you not to pull his hair- he likes it too much. He laughs, too, burying his face in your neck like he’s trying to muffle it, his stubble definitely leaving beard burn there. There’s something so sweet about it. He’s taken you apart bit by bit and now he’s here, laughing against you. It’s your favorite thing about him, the way he loves you so intensely and also so lightly. Softly.

Though there’s nothing soft about it when he slips his cock into you with a groan, and you respond with a noise of your own. The stretch is so overwhelmingly good that your breath gets caught in your chest. He presses his lips against your neck and cups your face in his hand, his thumb brushing against your cheek as he splits you open. Waves of pleasure roll out over your whole body. You’re already on edge. You think he might be, too, just from the way he breathes, slowly and carefully. Steady.

“Feel so good,” he murmurs, nose brushing against your jaw.

The words send a shiver down your spine, and you clench around him, involuntarily. He makes a sharp noise in the back of his throat and rolls his hips. You want, so desperately, to reach out and twist your fingers into his hair. You don’t, though. You want this more. Want him, and the way he rocks his hips against yours, setting a steady, unforgiving pace. You want the way his hand digs into the pillow next to your head, like he’s holding on for dear life, too. You want his soft groans, his heavy breaths, and your noises to match them. You’ve never wanted anything more.

Your next orgasm sneaks up on you devastatingly fast. You should’ve known it wouldn’t take long- you’re over sensitive and so turned on and it’s him, always him, and he’s just so good. He knows it too- that he’s good and that you’re close. He pulls his face from your neck to look at you, and his hand fumbles for yours. You’re burning up from the inside out again.

“Hold on, baby, hold it-“ he says, voice low and choked.

You go to wrap your fingers in his, but he’s tugging your hand towards his head, and- oh. You take the hint eagerly, and you sink your fingers into the sweat soaked tendrils once again. When you give a tentative pull, he makes a blissed out sort of noise. He wraps your other hand in his and keeps it pinned above your head, and then his lips meet yours in a messy kiss.

When you fall apart, waves of pleasure crashing over you and taking you out, he follows suit, burying himself deep inside of you with a loud, low groan, pressing himself right up against that perfect spot that has your legs shaking. You lose your grip on his hair and on reality, too. You melt into the bed, one hand still pinned above your head, and bask in the feeling of it. He collapses against you, chest heaving in time with yours.

Eventually, he drags himself away and slips out of you, and you whine and try to pull him back. He insists, though, and soon you’re in the bathroom, and he’s cleaning you up. You blink blearily up at him, and he cups your face in his hands and kisses your forehead, both your cheeks, the tip of your nose. There are tears welling in your eyes again, but he brushes them away. You let him carry you back to bed. He does so happily.

He crawls up over you and lays down carefully with his head on your chest. He may be big, but he loves to be held like this, and you love the weight of him on top of you, especially on nights like these. It’s grounding. His chain is pinned between the two of you, the metal biting into your skin, but you really don’t mind. You drag your fingers against his scalp.

“You owe me a head rub,” he mumbles into your chest.

“Shut up, you liked it,” you tease.

“Of course I did,” he agrees with a nod. He shuffles around and buries himself closer, one hand coming up to sweep your hair from your face. “But you can still give me a head rub.”

You laugh, but you do it anyway. He lets out a groan as you press your fingertips into his scalp, and you kiss the top of his head, gently, too. You rub behind his ears, over the part of his hair, and press firmly against the spot his forehead always seems to be the most tense. He melts further and further into you, and as his breathing slows, you know he’s about to fall asleep.

“You know I love you, right?” He says, quietly.

You reach over and turn off the bedside lamp. “Does this mean you’ll cancel your haircut tomorrow?”

He rumbles out a laugh and kisses your collarbone. “Baby, it’s not like I’m going to shave it. You’ll still be able to play with it.”

You groan unhappily. “Fine. Whatever.” You pause, and then sigh. “I love you too.”

You feel him smile against your skin. You twist a lock of his hair around your finger while you still can. You and Nico both know that when he comes back from the barber shop tomorrow, you’ll run your hands through his shorter hair and tell him how good it looks, and how handsome he is, over and over until his cheeks are stained red. He’s right- you really are just being a brat.

In the morning, though, when he shuts off the alarm and doesn’t bother to climb out of bed, he ends up missing his haircut appointment. You’re not sure if it’s on purpose or not. You just know you’re definitely not complaining.

[stranger-nightmare]

𝐈’𝐥𝐥 𝐌𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐈𝐭 𝐔𝐩 𝐓𝐨 𝐘𝐨𝐮

Part One

Pairing: Eddie Munson x (female) Reader

Summary: Eddie’s been distant and self conscious about his body ever since the bat incident in the upside down, meaning the two of you haven’t slept together for a while, when you finally confront him on it he vows to make it up to you...

Warnings: spoilers for vol.2, fluff, angst, smut, dirty talk, dry humping, oral (f receiving), fingering, multiple orgasms, minors DNI

A/N: it’s long and I’m not sorry bc it’s absolutely worth it imo haha!! inspiration is taken from my darling 🦔 & 🎸😈 anons from this & this ask! we explored this idea in my asks and I just had to write it in full, I hope you guys enjoy!! <3

Read Part Two

This is for people 18+ only. Minors do not read on. By clicking ‘keep reading’ you are hereby agreeing that you are 18 or older.

It had been nearly a month since the fallout of ‘defeating’ Vecna. The earthquakes, the evacuation, the chaos. The only silver lining was that hunting Eddie was no longer the main priority for the town and you’d been able to smuggle him out. The two of you had rented an RV and were hidden off the grid. The rest of the gang occasionally stopped by to check in and to drop supplies, but for the most part it was just you and Eddie.

You thought this time together, completely alone, would be a haven. Getting to spend unlimited time with the boy you loved so much it almost pained you. But it wasn’t.

Eddie was distant and closed off, often zoning out completely even when you were talking to him. You knew he was recovering, both physically and mentally, from his time in the upside down. You knew he was being plagued by nightmares and flashbacks. But the thing that pained you the most was that he just wouldn’t let you help him.

He refused to talk about it. And furthermore he refused to let you help him anyway. He wouldn’t let you tend to his wounds He wouldn’t even let your hands get anywhere near his torso.

Yes, it had been nearly a month since the fallout of ‘defeating’ Vecna, and it had also been nearly a month since you and Eddie had last been together, intimately speaking. You hadn’t even seen him shirtless in that time frame either. Before the incident he used to always walk around the trailer shirtless, feeling completely comfortable and at ease around you. But now... now he scurried into the bathroom to get changed. He held the hem of his shirt down whenever he reached for something on a high shelf, refusing to let even just a sliver of his belly show.

But the worst of it? The worst of it was the way he wouldn’t let you touch him anymore, or how he wouldn't touch you either. He flinched any time your hands came anywhere near his torso. The only way he’d let you hug him was with your arms around his neck, and even then it was nowhere near the kinds of hugs you used to share before, where his entire body would engulf you and clutch you impossibly close to him.

You knew he needed time to heal, both physically and emotionally. But, truth be told, you weren’t sure how much longer you could last. Both your heart and your body ached for him, ached for just a glimpse of the boy you knew.

You'd thought you were finally making progress the other day when you ended up in a heavy makeup session. You were on top of him, your lips moving fervently against his, your legs on either side of his hips, grinding into him like your life depended on it. You were already wet, desperately aching for his touch, and you could feel how hard he was beneath you. But as soon as your hands had made their way down his neck towards his torso he froze completely, stopping all movements and telling you he needed a minute before he all but ran away from you, leaving you desperate, frustrated, but above all, sad.

You tried every day, every single day, to coax out the boy you knew. Playing his favourite music, cooking his favourite foods, picking his favourite movies to watch. You’d walk around wearing nothing but one his shirts, fishing for a reaction. Something, anything. Just anything to gain kind some kind of response from him. But he’d simply smile politely, make small talk, and then spend the evening sitting quietly with you just next to him, at most your thighs touching.

It had been this way for a month and clearly nothing was working. So today, you gave up. You sat in silence. Didn’t put the effort into trying anymore. You were at your wits end, what else were you supposed to do?

Eddie sits beside you on the bed, his hands playing awkwardly in his lap as whatever movie you’d let him pick plays softly in front of you. You’d zoned out long ago, sat in a world of your own thoughts; memories of the times you’d used to share with your fun loving boyfriend. You also couldn’t help that your mind had started to wonder back to other types of memories. You can’t help as you start to feel yourself get wet, trying to discreetly rub your thighs just to get some kind of friction. Flashbacks of him kissing you, touching you, fucking you...

“What’s wrong?” Eddie’s voice suddenly cuts through your reverie.

“What?” You blink at him in confusion.

“What’s wrong?” He repeats. “You’ve been really quiet today. Distant” he shrugs.

You scoff incredulously; “I've been distant?"

He looks at you nervously when he hears the edge in your tone.

“You’re one to talk, Munson” you continue. “I think that might be the first time you’ve spoken to me in a month without me prompting it first!” you hiss.

You see the hurt in his eyes and almost immediately regret your little outburst. You sigh, taking a moment to try and compose yourself, searching for the right words. It was now or never you supposed. You couldn’t keep going on like this; you guessed now was as good a time as any to try and talk to him.

“Eddie, have you even realised how distant you’ve been with me recently?” You ask him gently. “Like I said, you’ve barley spoken two words to me in a month. You barely even acknowledge my presence, even when I’m sat right beside you. You don’t even look at me properly anymore. You don’t kiss me, you don’t hold me, you don’t touch me” your voice almost cracks with the tears that were threatening to spill.

He looks at you sadly, pain etched on his face.

“I know you’ve needed time to... deal with everything. So have I. But you wont even let me be there for you, you won’t let me help. You’ve been going through it all on your own even though I’m right here. I’ve tried everything I can think of to try and show you that but honestly I don’t know what else to do. I don’t know how else I can help you, and it’s breaking my heart. I just feel so useless. Amongst other things...” you murmur the last line to yourself.

You take another deep breath.

“I just, I- I miss you” you mumble quietly, brining your point to a conclusion.

You look at him sadly, feeling a tear prick your eye. You gently reach out a hand to cup his cheek. You feel him tense slightly before he leans lightly into your touch.

“I’m sorry” he whispers.

He stares into the distance for a moment before taking another deep breath.

“I’ve been neglecting you” he suddenly states, something like defeat lingering in his voice.

“No, no that’s not I meant. I just want to be there for you, I want you to let me be there for you” you try to reassure him quickly.

“Yeah but I closed myself off, didn’t I? And in that process I wasn't there for you either.”

You shrug. That wasn’t exactly your main concern right now but he certainly wasn’t wrong; it was still a pretty big deal to you. Eddie reaches out to grab you, gently lifting you off the bed next to him and guiding you to straddle his lap. You were only wearing his t-shirt and some thin panties, meaning there was not much in the way between your aching pussy and the crotch of his jeans. You try bite back a moan as you feel the roughness of his pants against your cunt, but a small whimper escapes your lips. And Eddie is quick to notice.

“You missed me baby?” He tilts his head to the side as he looks at you.

“Yes, but-“ you were trying to keep on track to get this boy to open up to you but he cuts you off.

“You missed me touching you? You missed these hands?” He hums as he splays his hands over your thigh.

You nod, your hips starting to grind on their own accord. Your mind begins fog, your focus fading as Eddie's hands slide their way up your legs, sending shivers through your body.

“My poor baby, you must be so needy hmm? Just aching to be touched” he taunts.

When his hands reach your hips, running over the waistband of your panties, the last of your resolve crumbles. You nod again and tug on his hair, silently asking him to give you more. And he did. As his left hand finds a hold on your hip, his right hand dips underneath your panties. You whimper as he cups your pussy for a moment before he finally curls two fingers to run between your folds. You practically shiver from the sensation as he rubs his fingers up and down your slit, collecting the wetness that had already pulled there.

“Fuck sweetheart, did I really leave you that desperate? You’re fucking soaked” He groans loudly.

You mewl and nod your head, biting your lip pathetically.

“I was thinking about you” you whisper. “Thinking about how you used to touch me. How you used to fuck me” you nudge his nose with your own as your words come out in a breathy pant.

He groans deeply again as he starts to move his hand further down, his fingers now tracing your entrance,

“Yeah? Were you thinking about how good my fingers feel? Hmm?”

You nod again, bucking your hips against his fingers, effectively humping his hand.

“Yes,” you sigh, “your fingers always felt so good.”

“Yeah?” He taunts as he finally sinks two fingers inside you, both of them slipping in so easy thanks to how wet you were.

He slowly picks up his rhythm, pumping you with his two fingers, curling them in the way he knew drove you crazy.

“This poor pretty cunt of yours hasn’t been used for so long hmm?” He hums as he moves his thumb to start small circles on your clit.

You whimper, hitting an impossibly high pitch as you feel yourself race embarrassingly fast towards a climax.

“I’m so sorry baby” he groans, his lips attaching to your neck, peppering hot kisses across your throat. “I’ll make it up to you” he whispers the promise against your skin.

In the same breath he starts to speed up his movements, his fingers pumping in and out of you rapidly, his thumb swirling around your clit with even more fervour. You swear you almost feel another tear sting your eyes as pleasure courses through your body.

“Oh fuck, yes yes yes yes” you whisper incoherently as your orgasm blinds you, coming on impossibly fast.

The months worth of built up tension melting away as pleasure burns through you, your fingers dig painfully hard into Eddie’s shoulders as your body shakes and convulses. You almost didn’t even care that you’d cum so quickly; if anything it was just a testament to how much you needed this, just how desperate you had been for him.

“That’s my good girl” Eddie hums, kissing along your jaw.

He pumps you slowly a few more times before gently removing his fingers from you. You sigh, completely content in your post orgasmic bliss. But Eddie just smirks up at you.

“I hope you don’t think we're finished, sweetheart. I’ve got a lot of time to make up for” he murmurs between kissing down your throat.

He stops to quickly help you shrug his shirt off your body before he carries on kissing down your chest. He takes a moment to worship your tits, biting and swirling his tongue over each nipple, kissing and sucking hickies into the soft fleshy skin of your breasts. You squirm under his touch, pushing your hips into him, your pussy already aching with need again.

Once he’s finished his assault on your breasts he gently lifts you off him and lays you down on the mattress, flipping the two of you over. He kisses your lips sweetly before his kisses move down your body again. When he reaches your hip bones he hums against your skin, kissing tantalisingly close to where you wanted him, needed him, but not giving in just yet. He yanks your panties down your leg, shucking them off to the floor. Eddie then grabs your legs with his hands, opening you up and spreading you wide in front of him.

“Oh fuck” he groans into the skin of your thigh. “I’ve missed this sight. This pretty little pussy of yours” he kisses up and down your inner thighs. “Gonna worship it like I should’ve been doing ages ago” he promises, placing a kiss to the apex of your thigh.

Without hesitation he dives right into your pussy, his mouth wasting no time in latching onto your clit. You moan and arch your body in response, your head falling back onto the mattress.

“Fuck baby you taste so good” he sighs against your clit. “I’ve missed this taste” he murmurs between kitten licking your swollen clit. “Did you miss my tongue too, sweetheart?”

You can feel him smirk into your cunt as you just answer with a loud moan. You moan even louder when you realise that Eddie himself is humping the mattress, desperately grinding his still clothed crotch against the bed. Pleasuring you had only turned him on even more. Listening to your moans, the sound of his name falling from your lips; it had him aching for some kind of release of his own whilst he tongue fucked you. The sight of it was almost too much to bear. It was so hot watching him hump the bed like that that you feel your second climax race faster to the surface.

“Oh fuck, Eddie” you cry as your second orgasm crashes through you.

You gasp and moan between your laboured breathing, your chest heaving up and down as pleasure racks through you. Your fingers knot into his hair, holding him against you as you fuck yourself against his face, riding out your high. Eddie softly sucks on your clit, drawing out your orgasm for all it was worth. After he feels you start to convulse he finally releases your clit, placing a soft kiss to the inside of your right thigh.

Eddie looks up at you, your wetness glistening his lips and his chin. He gives you a small smile, looking at you as he gently kisses your thighs again. You moan loudly and sit up quickly. You grab the neck of Eddie’s shirt and pull him into you. Your lips crash against his, devouring the taste of yourself on his mouth. He hums a small sound of surprise before he groans, opening his mouth and letting your tongue slide over his. You use the element of surprise to your advantage, flipping Eddie over and pinning him to the bed with your hips.

You keep kissing him but immediately you can start to feel his hesitation. His hands on your hips are no longer pulling you against him but are rather holding you in place, not letting you rut against him like you wanted to. You slow down the kiss, slow down everything, thinking maybe if you just gave him a second you might be able to carry on.

But alas, just as your hands slide down his neck to his chest, rubbing over his shirt, his hands fly up to catch yours and halt their movements. His lips part from yours as he dips his head, his eyes locking on to where his hands held yours in place, almost as if he was afraid if he looked away they’d somehow find a way to those scars he was so desperate to keep hidden.

“Eddie, please...” you plead with him sadly. “It’s okay” you try to reassure him gently. “Just let me in. Let me see” you whisper.

“I can’t,” he breathes shakily, “I just can’t.”

Despite what had just occurred you still hadn’t reached the root of the issue, which mostly revolved around Eddie’s self-esteem issues. He may have touched you again, provided you some release, but you still hadn’t actually got through to him about letting you in, about opening up to you.

You’d gotten so lost in him finally touching you again that you’d missed it for what it actually was.... a distraction.

To be continued...

Part Two

Masterlist

A/N: if anyone was curious, probably not but anyway, this was titled after Imagine Dragons’ song I’ll Make It Up To You which is one of my favourites of theirs! I hope you guys enjoyed this! part two will be posted shortly, stay tuned!! <33

Taglist // Join My Nightmare Realm // Ko-fi

[numbuh424]

congrats to ao3 for the site traffic the good omens fandom is about to bring them this week

[gguksgalaxy]

The Smart Thing | JWW

You come home ready to sleep your stress off in the arms of your boyfriend, he seems to have other plans in mind. Ones that don't quite include rest.

›› Genre: Smut (legit just filth) ›› Rating: 18+ (explicit s-x) ›› Pairing: Wonwoo x f.Reader ›› Wordcount: 2.4k ›› Warnings: Fingering (f.rec), unprotected s-x (in a relationship, be safe) while half asleep, manhandling and holding her in place, Wonwoo's a bit of a tease, bit of crying, one (1) spank, petnames, praise, begging, cr-ampie, probably missed something. Ik it sounds similar to Mingyu's but trust it isn't fjdlsk ›› Mingyu ver. ›› This one was a bit of a struggle but I hope you guys like this as well. If you do, let me know!! <3 And again thanks to the lovely @homerunhansol for proofing this and giving me confidence

No matter how deep his slumber, Wonwoo always wakes at the feeling of your body hitting the bed. His hands cradle you better than the sheets, body providing warmth that soothes the exhaustion in your bones. Perhaps you don’t need sleep, just the feeling of him slotting his body against your back. The rumble in his chest when he hums against your neck, kisses down your shoulder. His presence provides the last thing you need to relax, to become pliant to his touch. Your eyes fall shut, sleep creeping up the edges of your consciousness. The same way his fingers inch under the fabric of your shirt. 

“You’re late,” Wonwoo breathes, voice roughened with sleep.

You let out a breathy chuckle. “T’was busy.” You’re barely audible, halfway to dreamland when you notice where his hands are going. Nimble fingers dancing along the crease of your breast, tongue darting out to taste your skin over your pulsepoint. “Wonwoo,” you warn.

He shushes you, lets his teeth sink into your earlobe. It has you swimming, the warm touch of his palm over your tits, nails teasing along your nipples. Quick sparks of pleasure keep you on the edge of sleep. The sleep that you very much needed and were craving for the past hours. And now that you’re here, comfortable between the sheets and your lover, you’re tempted to stay awake a bit longer. Just to see how far he’s willing to take this to jeopardise his own rest. 

You let out a soft moan when he tweaks your nipple, eyes fluttering shut, head sinking further into the pillow. He’s gentle with it—gentle with you. Any protest to go to sleep dies on your tongue. The way he’s playing you isn’t about him. He’s all over you. Kneads at your chest like he could mould you to his hands. You already are though. 

Moulded to the shape of him that is. The way you crane your head back to give him more space to kiss you. The perfect fit of your tits in his hands. The press of his leg between yours. He takes you apart so easily, wetness gathering against the cotton of your underwear. But none of it is enough to jolt you, barely enough to keep you awake. Awake enough to tell that he’s growing hard behind you, but not awake enough to do much about it. You’re in the most beautifully warm place. Swimming in arousal and cushioned by the precipice of sweet sleep.

“You’re so sexy like this,” he mumbles into your skin, hand sneaking down to feel how wet you are. It has him groaning, hot breath puffing against your skin. “So pliant for me.”

His words have your stomach clenching, a gush of wetness between your thighs. “Wonwoo,” you mumble, reaching a hand behind you to find the short hair at the nape of his neck. He turns into it, running his nose up your arm. “The smart thing to do would be to go to sleep.”

“I believe,” he starts, thumb pressing down over your clit over the fabric of your underwear, “the smart thing to do would be me.”

The words of rebuttal to his awful joke die on the back of your tongue when he grabs you tighter. He slides an arm under your neck, twisting it over your chest to pull you to him. You know this position, twist into him just as he wants with a leg spread over his hips. Give him full access to your body without as much of a word. You know what he wants, and you wouldn’t deny him. Because you’re well aware that it’ll be worth the time and lack of sleep.

Wonwoo wastes no time to slide his hand into your panties, fingers slipping between your wet folds and moaning at the feeling. Your entire body shivers, goosebumps from your neck to your fingers at his sounds. Your stomach clenches when his fingers circle your clit, then dip lower to slide into you. He knows you needed it, knew it better than you did, because you relax so easily at the feeling.  Your eyes once again fall shut, head tilting back over his shoulder. His mouth skims over your jaw, fingers still. 

“Don’t fall asleep on me,” he whispers, breathy, on the cusp between a chuckle and a moan.

You smile. “‘Could.”

He hums, nuzzling into your cheek before pulling his fingers out. Then he slides them back in slowly, makes you feel every single knuckle that enters you. He repeats this over and over and over. Provides no additional stimulation but the achingly slow drag of his fingers inside your cunt and it’s so good it almost does lull you to sleep. Your breathing evening out, chest heavy under his palm, legs lax. Just him around you, warm breaths and gentle fingers. 

A sharp slap to your thigh wakes you up instantly. It stings, blooms warm over your skin when he palms over it. No words follow, but the message is clear. Don’t fall asleep. 

You tilt your hips with a whine, empty, aching. He smiles into your skin, knows that you need him now that he’s given you a taste. Crave him more than the heavy pull of sleep. Soon, he fills you again, fingers more firm in their presses now. Less teasing, more pleasure, sending warmth coiling up your spine. Sweet little moans fall from your lips. He eats it up, lips on the corner of your mouth. All while he strokes your insides just right, palm brushing your clit with every pass. 

Your lover moans when you twist, pressing your ass into his now very hard crotch. “Baby,” you whine, tilting your head towards him even more. He doesn’t respond, merely nudges your head back with his, hand tightening on your tit where he holds it. “Baby, please.” You know Wonwoo won’t give you anything if he doesn’t deem you ready, but perhaps sleep clouds him enough to give in to you. “Need you.” 

His fingers sound slick inside of you, your wetness gushing out when he presses in deep, palm flat to your body. He’s so deep, you swear you can feel him in your stomach and it’s not even his cock inside of you yet. He presses right where you need him, right where he knows you’ll fall apart for him. Rubbing hard, having you moan loud, clenching hard as if to suck his fingers in even deeper. His name falls from your lips, barely audible, barely coherent. Dumb from the battle between pleasure and exhaustion. 

“You want to cum?” Wonwoo asks, whispers it into your ear with a graze of his tongue to your skin. You’re not close yet, but he can have you fall over that edge in a matter of seconds if he so pleases. 

You nod and grab his wrist, pressing your cunt close to him. “Woo.” The words escape you. A hiccup breaking from your throat because you’re too far gone to tell him you need to cum on his cock. He twists his fingers in a way that is just a little mean. Your toes curl when he does it again, and again, “Wonwoo!” you cry out, grabbing his wrist harder yet rutting closer. Your whole body is thrumming. 

“What is it?” He says it so sweetly, follows you as you curl onto your side, spoons you. Your legs close on his hand, trap him in your heat. “You know what,” Wonwoo trails his words off, wrestling his hand out from between your thighs. “I’ll be nice.”

You huff, but comply and wait. He grabs his pillow and rolls you onto it, hips propped up just enough for him to position himself between your legs from behind. There’s a rustle of fabric, the tantalising feeling of his palm smoothing down your back, and then the familiar feeling of him dragging the head of his cock through your soaked folds. 

It has your entire body on edge, trying to lift your hips to his, anything to feel him. He shushes you again, presses your back down to the sheets. Mumbles something about how he’s got you, will take care of you, loves you, as he teases you. 

When he finally presses in, you whine. Your walls stretch to accommodate him, and he blankets his body with yours as he sinks deeper. Bottoms out, hips to your ass, hands beside your head searching for yours. Like he needs you for purchase too, fingers finding a home between yours while you grab at the sheets. Shaking under him. 

He groans your name into your ear when you clench down hard at the first thrust. The press of him inside of you is so delicious, so familiar—but this angle has always been so much more intense. You barely feel conscious at this point, swimming. Wonwoo doesn’t seem to be doing any better, a deep curse falling from his lips when he pulls out and pushes back in all the way. Hips pressing so close to you to try and get that last inch in.  To get so deep you’ll feel him for days. Again, like he’s moulding you to the shape of him. 

You’d stay like this forever if you could. Hidden between your lover and the sheets. Slick sounds of your cunt sucking him in, him panting into your shoulder. He holds himself to you, the weight of him on top of you just right. As is everything. As he always is with you. And if he holds himself still for too long you will fall asleep to this. The warm pleasure of him filling you, the feeling of his heart beating against your back. You find yourself drifting, breaths evening out. 

“Stay with me, love.” Wonwoo doesn’t drag himself out of you, too lost in the feeling of being surrounded by your heat. Instead, he ruts himself against your body, providing friction that makes you whine sleepily. “I’m here,” he breathes, voice shaky with it all. Shaky like your body under his trying to process the pleasure coursing through you. 

Trying to find a way to get more—more of him. But he’s got you pinned. Body snug under his, hands intertwined, legs feeling like jello. He controls the pace, the depth, and thus how long this will go on for. How far he’s going to take this spiel, whether he’ll fuck you so slowly you can’t help but fall asleep, or he flips it and fucks you so hard you pass out. Both thoughts have your stomach coiling with arousal. 

One particularly hard thrust has your body jolting up the bed. His cock hitting you just right, just once. One warning until he’s back to slow grinding and heavy breathing. He kisses up and down your neck and shoulder while he enjoys your body laid out for him.

You need more.

“Woo,” you whine, high, high pitched and small. The pleasure bubbles up, his cock dragging along your walls, every inch of him torturously good. You’re dripping onto the pillow below you. But there is no way you’ll cum from just this. It’s divine, toe-curling, perfect, but you need more. Something other than this gentle assault on your senses. 

He hears you, always does. Slides a hand under you to where your body meets the pillow and parts your slick folds. Two fingers find your clit and rest there. Then, he lifts himself just a bit, enough to gain purchase and start really fucking you. Dragging his cock out and pressing back in. One smooth motion, a delicious back and forth that has you purring almost. Enough to push you back and forth over his fingers. Exactly what you’d needed. 

You’re on edge in seconds. The feeling of him inside of you, hitting that one spot he knows so well, and his rough-padded fingers over your clit send you hurtling towards your orgasm faster than you’d expected. Suddenly, you’re wide awake. Eyes pressed shut, hand tightening to his, moaning his name loudly, just once. 

“Almost there, love,” he answers. You have to bite into the pillow to hold back. Knowing the overstimulation would be too much. Knowing he wants to finish together. He’s close too, from the feeling of it. Thrusts a little shaky, breath a little ragged. The sound rumbles in his chest, followed by a whine. A sound you’ve only heard when he’s got it bad—bad for you. When he’s so lost in you that all control flies out the window. 

You want to see him like that. Want to watch his brows furrow, lip pulled between his teeth. Sweat lining his temples, flush on his cheeks. He always looks so heavenly when he’s taking you fully. No bells or whistles, just bare in the sheets in your home. Like right now—spare for your shirts. He groans your name again, and again, and sinks his teeth into your shoulder. His thrusts growing even harder. 

Hard enough to push you up the bed. To have you hiccuping and holding a hand against the headboard to stop yourself from moving too much. But fuck does it feel good. Pleasure courses through you, you hold your breath to not lose it right then and there. He can’t keep asking you to wait. Not when you’re this close. Not when you feel this good. 

Suddenly, his fingers slip—accidentally or on purpose—squeezing your clit between two digits. It sends you hurtling over the edge so hard. Tears well up in your eyes while you shake under him. Run down your cheeks when he slams into you and stills, his own body spasming with his own orgasm. You whine, followed by a sob ripping from your throat. He cums deep inside of you, but with how your ears are ringing and your limbs are shaking, you can barely tell. 

Can’t react when he slips out of you and fusses over your trembling form. Brushes your hair from your face, kisses your cheek where the tears left a trail. Tells you how good you did for him. It’s all a blur. One big fuzzy image of him everywhere and anywhere around you. That was probably one of the best orgasms he’s ever given you. 

He soothes a hand over your back. “Go to sleep, love. I’ll clean you off,” are the last words you hear before sleep pulls you in. 

taggins: @gyuswhore @chansgyu @hyunsunni

Thanks for reading and feel free to let me know your thoughts in the comments, tags, or my inbox!! <3

[wlntrsldler]

iii. you come around and the armor falls, pierce the room like a cannonball. now all we know is don’t let go. | luke castellan | state of grace

seventeen-year-old luke castellan returns from his failed quest and wonders if he's good enough for you.

series masterlist | previous | next

seventeen-year-old luke castellan came face-to-face with death but against his better judgment, and the medical advice from lee who told him to lay in bed and heal, he stood up to drag himself across the floors of the infirmary to sit beside the bed where you were unconscious. 

thankfully, you were going to be okay. it would just take a few hours for the medicine to kick in until you regain consciousness. it was luke who took the brunt of the attack. he can feel the sticky bandages covered in his blood across his back and his face. luke managed to prop himself up on the small wooden chair. 

he’d grown taller and bigger over the years and the chair was definitely not the most comfortable place for him, especially not with all his wounds, but he had to make do. he couldn’t stay on his bed, across the way from you while you slept alone. in the off chance that you’ll wake up before the 5-hour estimate they’d given him about the medicine, he didn’t want you to wake up without someone next to you. 

you weren’t even supposed to be there. he didn’t even know how you’d found him, but he should’ve known better when you looked at him with that look in your eye, the look that he got from you whenever you were about to save him from something, even if he didn’t know he’d be in trouble yet. you always seemed to show up just when he needed you– like his own personal guardian angel. 

he thought back to when he was fourteen and you let him tag along with you, oliver, and beth to the athena cabin because you noticed he was anxious to be left alone. you didn't even know what he'd gone through then, but you somehow knew exactly what to say, what to do.

he thought of his first full summer at camp. he'd just turned fifteen, before he was named head counselor, and he accidentally set the shed that the satyrs used to house their gardening tools on fire. the stolls managed to sneak in fireworks and the three of them thought the perfect welcome for the summer campers was a firework show. he wandered into the shed in search of a lighter and found one tucked underneath a tablecloth, probably left by one of the older campers when they smoked.

between him and his siblings, they shared one and a half brain cells so he, stupidly, tried the lighter while he peeked his head under the tablecloth and the whole thing erupted in flames before he could even react. thankfully, you were already out looking for him when you noticed he slipped away from dinner.

you helped him put the fire out before it got too bad and paid for the damage with the few drachmas you had saved up. luke managed to pay you back after picking up random tasks for campers for a small fee, although, you argued with him that it was okay, that he didn't owe you anything, but at that point, luke figured he owed you much more than just a few drachmas.

chiron and mr. d ended up loving the idea of the fireworks show and asked who was responsible for the festivities. you stood up and pointed at him, grinning like you were happy he was finally getting the recognition he deserved. he didn't think he deserved the credit, it would've ended in a shitshow if it weren't for you.

he was promoted to head counselor a week later.

luke fell asleep hunched over your sleeping body, sleeping on the side of his face without the fresh scar. he woke up to the feeling of your fingers massaging his scalp a few hours later. he sat up, immediately holding your hand between his own. 

“you’re up,” he croaked out, rubbing the tears away from his eyes, “how are you, angel?” 

“feelin’ great, bub,” you faked a smile, exhaustion evident on your features. “how are you? you’re the one who got attacked by a dragon.” 

luke flinched at the memory, holding your hand up to his lips, “don’t worry about me. i’m good.” 

“let me worry about you, hm?” you mumbled. “i’m always worried about you.” 

“you shouldn’t have been there,” he sighed. his anger against his father was rising again. “it was my quest. you’re not even allowed to go on other people’s quests anymore, remember?” 

“you’re dumb if you think i was going to let you go into a suicide mission alone, luke,” you replied. you moved over on the small bed, motioning him to join you. “needed to make sure you were gonna be okay.” 

“i don't want that if it's at your expense,” he mumbled, following your request. you laid your head on his chest, allowing him to push you closer to him. his hands found the ends of your hair, twirling it around his fingers, “don’t know what i would’ve done if you–” 

he couldn’t finish his sentence. he didn’t want to think about it. he let himself be delusional, ignoring the reality of being a demigod. luke wanted to beat the odds with you, get out of here with you, mostly unscathed. he didn’t want to think about a life without you in it. he couldn’t. 

“hey, it’s okay,” you placed his hand over your heart, letting him feel it beat. “i’m okay, see?” 

your optimism was something luke admired about you. the way you viewed life like a gift despite everything you'd gone through. he wished he could see things the way you did, but he didn't understand it.

he looked at you, thinking of how you'd just risked your life for him, and he couldn't stop himself from feeling so hopeless. this was not the life you deserved.

he let out a breath, turning to face the ceiling, “i don’t understand how you’re not furious at the gods right now.” 

“there’s so many horrible things to be angry at, luke,” you whispered, placing a kiss on his bruised hands. “i’m mad at the gods for allowing this to happen to all of us, their children. i am angry luke, but i have been given so much because of it, too.” 

he stayed silent, letting you continue. he felt his breaths even out as he listened to the sound of your voice. 

“i grew up as an only child until i met my siblings. now, i love them. i can’t imagine not knowing them,” you smiled, “the rest of the campers, they can be a handful sometimes, but there isn’t a boring day in my life. there’s always adventure and fun and love.” 

luke turned to look at you to find that you were already staring at him. even in the dark, he can make out the look on your face. that face that made him feel safe so effortlessly. 

“i met you because of them,” you continued, placing a soft kiss on his lips, trying not to put too much pressure on him knowing he was still healing, “there are so many things i am angry at the gods for, but knowing you… well, it makes up for it, don’t you think?” 

he didn’t know if he had a complex enough vocabulary or if there were any words in any language that could scratch the surface of how he felt about you. you were in every part of him. he thought of you, your eyes when he woke up to the sun shining on his face, bright and hopeful because there was a new day ahead. he thought of you, your lips when he tasted the fruits they served during meals, sweet and addicting. he thought of you, your smile during his nightmares, safely pulling him back to reality, a life where you were there with him. 

it’s only been you since he met you. he had a feeling it’s only been you in every life he lived before this one. and it will only be you in every life after it. 

luke settled, “i love you.” 

“i love you,” you replied, kissing him once more. “let’s rest now, hm? want to be able to kiss you proper.” 

he couldn’t help but laugh, shutting his eyes as his body succumbed to the tiredness in his limbs, “me too.” 

lee fletcher found you two tangled in the covers, sleeping soundly, when he entered the infirmary the morning after. usually, he’d scold his patients for disobeying orders, but he couldn’t bring himself to care about the rules right now, not when you and luke looked so peaceful sleeping beside each other. 

word about luke’s failed quest spread quickly after your return. the looks of pity were starting to get to luke. you noticed that he’d been distant, too, opting to not let you clean up his scars when he replaced the bandages. he only went in to see lee when he knew the infirmary was absolutely clear of people. he stopped letting you touch his face and run your hands down his back. at first, you chalked it up to the fact that he was healing and the wounds probably still hurt to the touch, but after a conversation with lee, where you slyly asked how luke’s healing process was going, you knew it wasn’t that anymore. 

lee let you know that the wounds were healing faster than anticipated. new tissue was replacing his damaged ones and that the cream he prescribed luke would ensure that the scars would be faint, noticeable, but not as intense as they could’ve been. you walked away from your conversation with the boy with your shoulders sagged and your smile a little less bright. there was something else going on with luke and he wasn’t telling you about it. 

when luke returned to the hermes cabin, tired from his three-hour-long training, he expected the cabin to be empty with all his siblings away at the campfire, but instead, he found you, tidying up around the area of his bed. he shut the door quietly, hoping to have a few moments where he could just admire you. 

he’d been avoiding you more than usual so he hadn’t gotten the chance to spend as much time with you as he’d liked to. he doesn’t remember the last time he hugged you longer than a quick side hug before he was jogging to move onto his next activity or the last time he’d been able to have a conversation with you about something other than counselor duties. luke missed you. he missed you a lot, but he felt so disgusted with himself that he couldn't bring himself to be in your presence. 

the scars were healing fine, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that you’d think he was hideous and weak and a failure. it seemed like everyone else at camp did, anyway. the scar on his face stretched from his eye all the way down to his jaw. every time he looked in the mirror, it reminded him of what he wasn’t able to do, of what he put you through. it made him sick to remember it. 

the wounds on his back started on his shoulder blades and ended in the middle of his spine. it wasn’t a good look. not even all his trainings and his workouts to get his back defined could hide the scar. 

his wounds were now the first thing people noticed when they saw him. he hated it. 

he wasn’t naive enough to believe that he was the most attractive guy in the world, but at least before the quest, he felt like he was average. he was tall enough, built adequately, and he wasn’t terrible to look at. but now, it felt like he was knocked down a few pegs. if he thought he didn’t deserve you back then, he sure as hell knew he didn’t deserve you now. 

he watched you fluff his pillows and fold his blankets before he decided to make himself known. he walked over to you, placing a quick kiss on the back of your head, before walking to his dresser to pull out his clothes for bed. 

“been waiting for you,” you mumbled, wrapping your arms around his torso. you gently placed your head on his back, listening to the sound of his breaths pick up. “where have you been?” 

“training,” he replied, removing your arms from him. you placed your head so close to his wounds and he was sure you could feel the bumps of his flesh through his thin camp shirt. “why aren’t you at the campfire?” 

you frowned, sitting on his bed, “because you weren’t there.” 

“you can still go and hang out with your friends,” he reasoned, directing his head at an awkward angle so you don’t see the scarred side of his face. the bandage on his face fell off a few hours ago. he forgot to stop by the infirmary to ask lee for some more.

“don’t wanna hang out with them right now, luke,” you said, eyebrows furrowed. “i want to hang out with you.” 

“i’m really tired right now, angel,” luke turned around again, pretending to dig through his drawers for something. he tilted his head low, hoping that his shadow would hide his face. “maybe tomorrow or something?” 

“okay,” you sounded defeated. luke heard his sheets ruffle from under you as you got up. he followed the sound of your footsteps all the way to the door. he waited for the sound of the door to open, but it never came. instead, it was your voice, hushed, “luke, i don’t understand.” 

he lifted his head, “huh?” 

“i said i don’t understand,” your voice was trembling. luke couldn’t help but face you then. your eyes welled up with tears, bottom lip quivering as you tried to speak. “what’s going on with you?” 

luke clenched his jaw, “nothing.” 

“there’s something going on,” you rebutted, walking closer to him. you stopped in your tracks as he took a step back. you let the tears fall, “i can usually sense what’s going on with people but with you right now, i just can’t. i-it’s like i’m so blinded by how i feel about you that instead of understanding what’s going on with you, i can only focus on what i could’ve done wrong.” 

“you haven’t done anything wrong,” luke licked his lips, wanting nothing else but to hold you in his arms. he was fighting back the tears now, too. the last thing he wanted to do was make you cry. he sniffled, “i’m just tired, angel.” 

“that’s never stopped you before,” you said. “even before we were dating, you always found me just for the sake of being with me. we'd talk nonsense until we lost our voices, and then we'd sit in silence together. you used to sit and wait in the back of the art room until my lesson was over just so we could come back here and be together until it was lights out.” 

“that was then.” 

“what changed?” you asked, voice hoarse. your tears were unstoppable now. you rubbed your eyes, trying to get a clearer vision of the boy in front of you. he was hidden in the shadows of the dim light. “do you.. do you not feel the same about me anymore?” 

“no, never that,” he shook his head, eyes wide. he tossed his clothes on his bed, stepping closer to you. “i love you, you know this.” 

“so come back to me, luke,” you cried, taking a tiny step closer to him. “come home to me.” 

luke groaned, falling to his knees. he buried his face in his hands, sobbing at your words. you ran to him, engulfing him in a hug, as his sobs shook his entire body. he mumbled incoherent words into his palms. 

“what is it, luke?” you asked him, peppering kisses on the crown of his head.

he took a deep breath, “i’m not ready for you to realize that i’m not good enough for you anymore. i’m not ready to lose you.” 

“oh my love,” you sighed, prying his hands away from his face. he turned his cheek, biting his bottom lip. you weren’t having it anymore. you grabbed his face in your hands forcing him to look at you, “what’s gotten into you?” 

“i know you see it,” he said, voice cracking. his eyes were focused on the wall behind you. “the scar. i know you see it.” 

“and?”

“it’s hideous, angel,” he confessed. a single tear rolled down his cheek. you were quick to wipe it away, “i know what people say about me now.” 

“is this what all of this was about?” you questioned, pressing your forehead to his.

luke closed his eyes. he missed you so much. “yes.” 

you removed your hands from his face and let your index finger trace the line down his scar. he sucked in a breath despite himself. he wanted to hide and shy away from you, your touch left him vulnerable and open, but he knew there was no need for that anymore. you pressed soft kisses all over his face, cradling his jaw in your palm. you kissed the lids of his eyes, the crease between his eyebrows, the points of his cheeks, the tip of his nose, until you got to his scar. 

you were even gentler now, luke didn’t know how it was possible. he could feel your lips ghosting over the raised flesh, apprehensive. he squeezed the skin of your hip, giving you the okay. with that, your lips touched his cheek, a kiss with purpose. 

luke shuddered at the feeling. why did he deprive himself of this? from the love in your touch and the emotions behind your actions? he pulled you closer, trying to make up for lost time. 

you sighed happily in his grasp, pulling yourself away from his cheek to place a kiss on his lips. all the air was knocked out of luke’s lungs. he’d kissed you a million times before, but this felt different. luke knew you loved him, you said it more than he deserved to hear it, and of course, he felt your love in everything that you did with him; in stolen touches in the middle of crowds, in corny jokes you made just to see him smile, in your words when you tell him he’s more than enough, but in this kiss, it was all of those moments, all of what you felt for him, amplified.

he couldn’t breathe. it was too much, but he couldn’t bring himself to pull away from you, not when you were kissing him like this. not when you were anchoring him back to where he belonged. not when you were reminding him of everything he could have if he just let himself have it. 

eventually, you pulled away from him, tear-stained cheeks and pink, raw lips. luke thought you looked incredible. even after all this time, over a year of being together and over three years of knowing each other, your cheeks still flushed because of him. a small smile made its way to his lips, you still had that effect on him too. 

you got up from the floor, offering your hand to luke. he gladly accepted it and allowed you to lead him to his bed. you slipped off your shoes, your signature cartoon owl socks on full display as you laid on his bed. he joined you, pulling you close to his chest. you buried your head into the crook of his neck, fingers playing with the string of his camp necklace. 

the campfire was coming to an end and soon the cabin would be filled with his loud, rowdy, siblings, who he grew to love, but for now, he’ll get lost in this moment with you. he’ll wander aimlessly in this feeling, the feeling of his girl asleep on his chest, a hand over his heart to remind him that she's still here. he’ll let himself get lost for a few more minutes, after all, he’ll always find his way back home to you. 

[sideblogofthcentury]

Steve knows people.

As much as his little monster-fighting family likes to believe Steve doesn’t know much, Steve definitely Knows people. Steve can read anyone like a book, based on what they choose to wear, how they choose to act, what they choose to say.

It was a survival tactic leftover from growing up the child of a millionaire; attending fancy parties and big holiday dinners with people his father did business with. Meeting a bunch of very particular adults, always having to respond in the exact right way to keep his father in good professional standings.

Steve could have a five minute conversation with someone and know for sure whether he ever wanted to see that person again.

Steve knows people.

And that is exactly why Steve is confused out of his mind about one Eddie Munson.

See, Steve has been “putting the moves,” as Robin calls it, on Eddie for the last three months. He had been pulling out every stop, trying his best to romance Eddie like one of those suave men from the books that had every bored housewife in Hawkins panting.

Steve knows Eddie likes him back. When Steve calls, Eddie’s bored sounding voice perks up half an octave when Steve starts to speak. Every time Eddie sees Steve, his face softens and he gets this dopey smile, like he’s smoked 3 joints in the last 15 minutes. Eddie always reaches out to touch Steve, and when Steve returns the favor, Eddie leans into him like a metalhead-sized cat.

It is an inherent fact to Steve that Eddie likes him back.

So when Eddie rushes a goodbye, or pulls away from a touch that’s a second too long to be platonic, or refuses to make eye contact when Steve would really like to kiss him, it confuses the goddamn shit out of Steve.

And that’s exactly what Steve says.

They’re sitting on the roof of Eddie’s van, looking up at the stars, elbows touching as they each pillow their heads on their hands. They’d just snuffed out the butt of their second joint of the night, and were basking in the lovely high, the beauty of the night sky, and each other’s company.

And Steve, as we’d established before, mutters under his breath: “you confuse the goddamn shit out of me.”

And Eddie, startled and confused, does what he does best: he laughs.

Which makes Steve laugh.

Which makes Eddie laugh harder.

Soon enough they’re both clutching their bellies and cackling out into the warm summer Indiana night.

Eddie sits up to catch his breath, crossing his legs and turning towards Steve. “Were you talking to me?”

Steve looked up at Eddie and placed one hand under his head, one on his stomach. “Yeah.”

“I confuse the goddamn shit out of you?”

Steve chuckled, still panting from the laughter. “Yeah.”

Eddie raised his eyebrows and poked Steve in the side.

Steve chuckled again, and shook his head. “You just confuse me, man. Us. This. It’s confusing.”

Eddie shrank a bit. He knew where this was going. (no he didn’t.) “Oh?” he mumbled, fumbling with his rings, avoiding eye contact.

Steve laughed. “That’s what I mean. You’re so confusing. You act like you want to kiss me so bad.”

Eddie froze.

Eddie’s brain was definitely broken.

Eddie had definitely smoked too much.

“I- you- what??”

Steve laughed.

Eddie blinked several times, wearing the most adorable confused expression. It made Steve’s heart melt. “I act… I don’t- what do you mean I ACT like I want to kiss you?!”

Steve took a deep breath and sat up, turned to face Eddie, and crossed his legs, touching both knees to Eddie’s. He covered Eddie’s fidgeting hands with his own right hand, and placed his left hand on Eddie’s thigh, just above his right knee. He leaned closer, watching Eddie’s chocolate eyes widen, darken, and flit to his lips. Steve smiled and Eddie’s breath caught, his hands flinching under Steve’s, and his eyelids fluttering in shock, before once again meeting Steve’s eyes.

Steve raised his eyebrows. “That.”

Eddie’s brain was still rebooting. “What?”

Steve shook his head and laughed. “You. Act. Like. You. Want. To. Kiss. Me.”

Eddie took a deep breath. “Steve, I’m gay.”

Steve laughed again, and Eddie frowned. “What the hell, Steve?”

Steve laughed again.

Eddie scoffed and started to move away, but Steve’s hands, previously laying innocently on Eddie’s hands and thigh, now gripped him firmly, keeping him close.

“Eddie. I know you’re gay.”

Eddie blinked. “Then why are you confused?”

Steve let his eyes very obviously find Eddie’s lips, lingering there a long pause, before bringing them back up to meet Eddie’s, which are now almost entirely consumed by the black of his blown pupils. “Because you act like you want to kiss me sooo bad, and yet, here I sit. Unkissed.”

Eddie visibly stalled. His entire body flinched, he blinked several times, and his mouth opened a fraction of an inch and he inhaled as if to speak, but made absolutely no sound.

Steve smiled and started to stroke Eddie’s hands and clothed thigh with his thumbs, silently showing Eddie he’s not going anywhere, waiting patiently for Eddie to sort through the obvious shock that this new information has triggered.

After a moment of intermittent blinking, Eddie took a deep breath. “You- I… I didn’t think that was an option.”

Steve chuckled and licked his lips. “It is most certainly an option.”

Eddie nodded. “Okay.”

Steve waited.

And waited.

“Steve?”

“yeah?”

“You’re saying I can kiss you now?”

Steve giggled. “Yeah, Eddie. I am saying that.”

Eddie nodded. “Okay.”

Steve waited again. “Unless.. You’d rather I kissed you?”

“No, no, I wanna do it.”

Steve nodded. “Okay.”

Eddie let his hands slip from underneath Steve’s, Steve moving his hand to Eddie’s other knee. Eddie cupped Steve’s face, fingertips threading into the hair behind his ears, his thumbs resting so gently on Steve’s cheeks. Eddie held Steve like he had the entire world in his hands, and for the first time in Steve’s life, he felt precious. Nobody had ever handled Steve so delicately, and his head was swimming.

Eddie’s eyes searched Steve’s face like he was looking for something, like he’d never get another chance, like he actually cared. Eddie looked at Steve like he was a sculpture in a museum, and it made Steve dizzy.

As Eddie shortened the distance between them, the last thing Steve saw before he closed his eyes was Eddie’s face flash with the most excited expression he’d ever seen, and Steve’s heart filled with joy.

And then Eddie’s lips touched Steve’s and his own brain failed him. He’d kissed plenty of people before but it’s never been quite like this. Eddie’s kiss was firm, soft, and entirely sure of himself, as if he didn’t spend months too afraid to do it.

Eddie’s hands advanced further into Steve’s hair, cupping the nape of his neck, tilting Steve’s head to deepen the kiss. Eddie’s tongue slid along Steve’s bottom lip, and took the opportunity of Steve’s surprised gasp to let itself into Steve’s mouth. Eddie’s tongue on his own distracted Steve from Eddie’s hands, and the next thing Steve knew, he was on his back with Eddie hovering over him, his knees straddling Steve’s hips, one hand shielding the back of Steve’s head from the metal of the van, his other hand holding Steve’s chest down, heating Steve’s soul through the thin material of his shirt.

Steve turned away to catch his breath, allowing Eddie to move his kisses to Steve’s jaw, hot breath on Steve’s neck sending entirely too much of his blood south. Steve sighed, shaking his head and let out an airy laugh. “You are so confusing.”

Eddie laughed into Steve’s ear. “What now?” His voice was deep and cracked, his breath in Steve’s ear making Steve shiver and grip Eddie’s lean hips.

“You-“ Steve panted while Eddie continued kissing his neck, “You acted so shy, for months, like you were too afraid to kiss me, driving me goddamn crazy. I could see how badly you wanted it and you never did anything about it. And now, here you are on top of me, melting me into fucking putty.” He pants a few seconds more, relishing the feeling of his earlobe in Eddie’s mouth. “Why didn’t you do us both a favor and do this months ago??”

“I told you,” Eddie mumbled, lifting his face up to meet Steve’s eyes with the most wicked grin, finally touching his own body to Steve’s in a full-body grind that led with his hips, followed with his chest, and ended with a loud groan from Steve, “I didn’t think that was an option.”

[dollsuguru]

black is the color of my true love’s hair

♡ your devotion to suguru is second to none - you would do anything for your beloved! bonded by true love, loyalty, & utter admiration, these are a few moments where suguru has been unbelievably thankful for you & smitten by your acts of love & service! (a story from my suguru geto: valentine’s day fic list!)

contents: f!reader, no curses au, reader is short/blushes/has hair that can be ran through with fingers! slightly suggestive, cursing, mentions of depression/anxiety/self-destructive behaviors. but i promise this is a soft, fluffy fic! it’ll make sense when you read it! dividers are from @saradika! w.c: ~ 11.5k

a/n: belated birthday fic for my beloved husband suguru geto <3 the title of the fic is based on a rendition of the song “black is the colour” by celtic woman! imo it’s the most loving & devotional song i’ve ever heard so i wanted to do a story based on those themes with my favorite black-haired man <3 MY true love <3 p.s. this is my first time ever writing an actual fic & it got a bit long because i got carried away so please bear w me! i hope you enjoy and happy valentine’s day! <3 MWAH!

it’s a simple action, really.

you tilt your head slightly to the right and lift your face up to gaze adoringly at him through your lashes, a mirthful twinkle dancing in your eyes. a soft smirk coupled with a light blush adorns your angelic features, a precious look, which suguru has come to be utterly enchanted by due to the loving action that follows immediately after.

you catch him off guard the first time you do it.

the first time you kiss suguru’s knuckles, he falters.

it’s the way that you do it. naturally & effortlessly, as if it’s like second nature, that causes suguru to stop in his tracks and dedicate all of his attention to you.

his mesmerizing gaze is directed at you, molten gold eyes inquisitive. irrevocably fond.

he attentively watches as you softly grab his large warm hand in your small cold one. his hands are slightly rough yet supple due to his religious use of the honey-almond handcream you bought him earlier in the week.

he notices, rather than intertwining your fingers with his own and holding them, you smoothly bring his hand up to your face, wrapping your digits loosely around the perimeter of his long slender fingers.

your thumb gingerly caresses his ring finger (the one that holds a devout vow of eternal love), your featherlight touch raising wonderful shivers across his body. with the utmost care, you delicately, as if he’s made out of precious china, brush your supple glossed lips against his fingers, relishing in the coolness of his promise ring that encases both his aquamarine birthstone & your own.

your low-lidded enamored eyes never leave his affectionately curious ones — both of you preciously holding the other ones gaze. eyes locked in a staring contest of love.

utterly content with his undivided attention, you gently press a soft kiss to his knuckles.

a sign of affection.

an act, a promise, of complete & utter devotion.

his pierced eyebrow raises slightly due to the suaveness of your actions. he tries to gather his bearings, his brain fuzzy with your actions — did you actually just do that?

suguru’s amber eyes widen significantly, soft black eyelashes fluttering like raven wings against the tan of his cheek that’s blushed with a hue of raspberry red. mouth slightly ajar in surprise, his silver lip ring glints like starlight in the sunset daze of the evening, while his pierced tongue is pressed against his own cheek to stop himself from becoming a bumbling, stuttering mess.

if he speaks — he wholeheartedly believes all that’ll tumble out of his lips will be unabashedly fervent divulgances of: “i love you. i love you. i love you.”

adoration blooms out of his ribcage like a meadow of daffodils, sweetness enveloping around his heart, soft ivory petals and sage green tendrils wrapping themselves delicately over his bones. he reckons that if you couldn’t hear his heartbeat hammering out of his chest before, you definitely can now.

it’s almost as if his brain is in clouds of cotton candy, his mind in a sweet haze of shock, love, & affection. he finds himself whispering airily, “why’d you do that?”

tenderly stroking away silky strands of ink-black hair that wisp around his ethereal face, the fond smile you grace him with is saccharine sweet, “i felt like it.”

unbelievably charmed, he can’t help the giggle that spills its way out through his mouth like honey, a syrupy-sweet sounding little thing. his shaky fingers cover his rosy lips slightly as he laughs bashfully. he’s a bit shy because of it, but you don’t think a sound has ever been so melodious to your ears. you’d get down on one knee to kiss his knuckles reverently as many times as he wants just to hear his laughter over and over and over again.

the way you see it, it’s as if you were put on this earth to devote yourself to him.

like a loyal knight kisses the ring on the hand of their king with the utmost veneration, you’d do the same. without question, worshipping the ground whereupon he stands like a faithful follower would do to a cult leader. you figure in all of the other multiverses, you’re ultimately doing the same thing as what you’re doing in this one: loving him — devoutly. earnestly. passionately.

if the look of ardent rapture on your face is anything to go by, suguru might faint with the rush of pure love & endearment that flows like nectar throughout his veins.

he feels his blush bloom over his warm face which rushes towards the tips of his pierced ears, a clear sign of you flustering him.

wanting to gain back some semblance of control of the situation, he puts on a poker face, a gentleness in his eyes & a fondness in his smile still shining through. his black-nail polished thumb grazes your soft wind-chilled cheek. a beacon of warmth. a caress of admiration accompanied with a well-maintained façade of smoothness. a comforting touch for the both of you.

“well, aren’t you just so sweet.” suguru can’t help the coo that escapes his cherry red lips when you look up at him with your precious doe eyes, “my pretty little baby.”

he softly pinches your cheek, admiring the soft plush. he cradles your cheek with the same hand, & carefully smoothes down your hair that’s been strewn around a bit by the evening wind with the other. suguru pats your head in a nurturing manner in the process, another fond coo escaping him when he sees you preen at the attention he gives you, affectionately watching you revel in the flattering treatment.

your eyes widen with joy, always keening with any praise he showers you with. “i’d like to think so! now come on sugu, your pretty little baby has a lil surprise for you!” you playfully wink at him, your smile beaming like sunshine.

your warm eyes map his stunning features reverently, memorizing his elegant visage. drinking in his otherworldly beauty. as if you could never get enough.

while you openly admire him, suguru does the same to you. he doesn’t think that he’s ever been this enamored by a human being before. you’re the center of his universe, and he can’t imagine his life without you. all he can see in this moment is: you. his intense gaze holds yours as he captures both of your cheeks in his warm gentle hands, enveloping himself in your space. the perfume he bought you for your birthday invades his senses, clouding his mind in a welcomed haze.

all he can think of at the moment is: you. you. you.

all he can repeat in his mind is: mine. mine. mine.

his eyes gleam with a newfound sense of desire, wanting to show you exactly what you mean to him. what you do to him.

his golden eyes that are now an onyx, dilated with desire, flit to your mouth. his thumb outlines your pretty lips that are begging to be devoured by his own. his right hand moves to cradle the back of your head, tilting your face up so he can comfortably take control. long, slender fingers splay across your hair, bringing you closer to him, slightly tugging the strands to hear and feel you gasp against his mouth. he presses his left hand against the small of your back, coaxing you further into his body, fusing you both together. not wanting to be even a millimeter apart. he just can’t get enough of you.

it’s like a magnetic gravitational pull when he presses a soft, sensual kiss against your glossy lips. the cold metal ball in his pierced tongue explores the wet cavern of your mouth, and he can’t help but moan softly into you, relishing in your warmth.

he prays to the stars above, hoping that he can convey his sincere love, desire, & admiration for you like this. he breathes life into you and you do the same to him. kissing you with such vigor & passion, he feels like melding your lips & souls together wouldn’t be enough. he burns with a hunger to become one with you. he pleads to the universe that the intensity of his desire and yearning is relayed to you — that you crave it, crave him as much as he craves you.

with the way he’s ravenously kissing you, and how you’re excitedly kissing him back, it seems like you certainly received the message.

suguru thinks it’s a little bit funny, but very much endearing, when you run around the living room like a bumbling fawn.

you zig-zag around the counter, making sure you pick up the purse that suguru got for you on your previous anniversary, an acrylic charm of your favorite anime character clinking against the metal fastenings. (another gift that suguru got you, begrudgingly he might admit, because who the hell is that toji fushiguro guy anyways…)

you double check that all the contents you need are inside: phone, charger, lip gloss, mini perfume, credit cards — AH! you run back to your room like a panther, not wanting to forget the most important thing you need for tonight!

he can’t help himself but laugh at your frazzled antics. “baby, you can calm down! we’re going on a picnic, it’s almost impossible for us to be late!” suguru admires your punctuality, he thinks it’s sweet how you never want to keep him waiting.

“FORGOT SOMETHING, I ALMOST DIED.” you rush back to him, big goofy smile on your face.

“baby… you’re heaving.” suguru covers his mouth, trying not to giggle out loud at how out of breath you are just by running a few feet. you’re so fucking cute.

“damn…” you huff out, hands on your knees, trying to get a deep breath in. “don’t call me out like that.”

he can’t help the laugh that bellows out of him, “sorry angel, now let’s go!” he places his large hands against your back, ushering you out the door quickly, “you still haven’t told me where we’re going.”

walking you towards his black mercedes, he opens the passenger side for you. with both hands on your hips, you remind him that, “it’s a SURPISE!”

after around 45 minutes of both of you jamming out to your playlist in the car, poking his cheek while childishly asking “are we there yet?” just to annoy him for fun, and ultimately being a proper passenger princess who tells him to “just trust me!” when he asks where you two are going, you both arrive to your destination.

and the sight that he sees, enthralls him. he whistles, beguiled by the view. from here, he can see how pretty and bright the stars are, it almost looks like they’re twinkling a “hello!” at the both of you. suguru thinks to himself, a picnic here at night? he’s unbelievably mesmerized at how your brain works sometimes.

he turns to face you, watching how engrossed you are in your phone, tapping away incessantly. wanting your full attention, his fingers grab your chin gently to force you to look him. he jokingly purrs, “if you took me here to kill me, i’ll have you know… sitting on my face would be much easier. much more preferred.”

you raise your eyebrow questioningly.

“because… it’s dark and we’re in random clearing.”

you stare at him blankly. “okay, you’ve hung out with me waaaay too much because i literally said that pick-up line to you last week and now you’re blatantly stealing it… like a THIEF. and also? you drove us here. who the hell is gonna drive me back if you’re dead?”

his brows furrow and he pouts, annoyed that you didn’t fall into his arms and blush because of his (your) raunchy words. he turns away from you and opens his door to leave, brattily huffing out a, “hmph. shut up, dumbass.” with his head held up high in the air, he struts away pompously to the trunk, opening and closing it loudly. a picnic basket with food you both made together in one hand, and a soft quilt of constellations made by haibara & nanami for suguru’s previous birthday in the other.

how fitting.

you loudly snicker to yourself while getting out of the car, amused by your boyfriend’s spoiled antics. while suguru is front of you admiring the view and trying to find a spot to set up, you admire the view in front of you. whistling out a, “damn…” suguru scoffs at your flirty behavior and gives you the finger. you send an air kiss back, and he playfully swats it away.

when he turns away again, you smile to yourself dreamily. taking out your phone, you click a quick candid of him against the night sky, admiring at how he looks like a painting.

the cream of his sweater and the contrast of his cascading ink-black hair entrances you, the silver hairpin you got him during a couple’s trip to kyoto in the top of his bun. the dangling deep violet amethyst gem glints in the moonlight, making him look even prettier. he turns his head to the left, from here you can’t see his eyebrow piercing or his lip piercing since they’re both on the right side of his face, but you do see his eyebrow slit — a scar which you’ve softly traced over many times. his side profile allures you effortlessly, the angular bridge of his nose and the soft cupid’s bow of his lip offering up a beautiful contrast that is suguru: graceful yet strong.

shaking your head slightly, you break out of your trance.

you go back to the task at hand, opening your notes app and ticking off the word at the top of your list.

stargazing. ✔️

you remember suguru mentioned it in passing one day when you were both in the beginning stages of your relationship. it was on his date bucket-list ever since he could remember, and of course you wanted to be the one who would take him!

you guide him over to a little meadow overlooking the city. surrounding you both are beautiful moonflowers, their sweetness enveloping your sinuses. the air is cool and crisp, and in the distance you hear the faint chirps & buzzing of hummingbirds along with the faint caws of ravens. you’re proud of yourself that you were able to find a place this picturesque. (even to this day, you still have an urge to impress suguru in any way that you can.)

both of you sit on the quilt suguru sets down, the homemade cloth providing an extra layer of cushioning that you feel atop the softness of the grass.

you’re upon the hill clearing, close enough to the city that you can comfortably drive back while still seeing a few citylights from where you are, but far away enough that the light pollution wouldn’t interfere with the date you had planned.

“it’s pretty.” suguru glances at the view, praising you while taking out the tonkatsu sandwiches, pasta salad, & chocolate covered strawberries from your picnic wicker-basket. you pick up a bag of chips and start munching on it while he lays down on his back propped up on his elbows, opening up a banana milk to sip on.

“i’m glad you like it,” your words are muffled in between loud crunches and fast chewing, “i was worried we’d be attacked by a mountain lion or a swarm of bees or some shit.” you say honestly.

he blinks. “i wasn’t worried about that. but i am now.” he takes another sip of his banana milk in case it’s his last.

he sits up and picks up the tonkatsu sandwich, handing you the bigger half. “but seriously, how’d you find this place?”

you take the smaller half from his grasp instead, switching with him. taking a bite, you hum happily. suguru is such a good cook. he smiles at you fondly and you answer him, “i was searching up good places to look at the stars. out of all the pictures and reviews, this was the prettiest one.”

you look up at him and swear that you see an actual twinkle in his eyes.

“stargazing?” he pushes his bangs back behind his ear, leaning into your face. loudly repeating, “STARGAZING???” nose pressed against yours, an excitedly manic look in his eyes.

he throws his head back and waves his arms in the air, lamenting, “i should’ve bought a fucking telescope!”

he directs his gaze back towards you, pointing his finger at you accusingly while demanding, “we are coming here again in the future, okay? i’ll bring all of my astronomy gear: a telescope, binoculars, a constellation book, and oooooh! maybe i’ll also bring…” you unintentionally tune him out, looking at him adoringly with stars in your eyes.

this is what you wanted to see.

if you’re being honest with yourself, the best thing to experience in your life is getting to see suguru act genuinely excited. his eagerness to discover new things is infectious, and the man before you is the real suguru: dorky, eclectic, passionate.

the graceful, poised, & elegant man you see when he meets new people and the air of sultriness & suaveness he has when he takes you on fancy dates are utterly enchanting & beguiling, but you think that suguru you see before you now — the excitable nerd, is the most beautiful.

he flicks your forehead, breaking you out of your reverie. “have you been listening to a word i’ve been saying?” he scolds you while pinching your cheek extra hard.

“yeah, you want a telescope so you can look at the stars. also, you look really pretty… the stars ain’t got nothin’ on you.” you rest your chin in your hand, smirking at him, reveling in the blush that paints his cheeks. it was just the cold wind!, he’d tell you later while playfully smacking you upside the head.

you continue, “plus, it’s really hot when you’re all stern and tellin’ me off. what’s my incentive to listen to every word you say if i can get you scoldin’ me instead?” you tilt your head against your hand, grin wide, teeth bared. the masochist in you wants him to scold you even further.

he crosses his arms at you, muscles bulging out of his cream cableknit sweater. your eyes drink up the adonis right in front of you, mentally undressing him. “instead of hitting on me, how about i explain all of the constellations to you in extreme detail?” he purrs to you while biting his lip. he flips his hair over his shoulder, sultrily looking at you. you see right through him of course, knowing that he’s appeasing to your attraction to him just so he can ramble about ursa major, ursa minor, & the big dipper.

frankly. it works.

he holds his hand out to you. a truce.

you shrug. “if you do it like a hot stern professor, then sure.” you both shake on it.

he rolls his eyes playfully, trying to stop the smile that threatens to creep up on his face. “ugh. fine. be quiet and come over here.” he picks you up underneath your thighs and puts you in between his legs. your back pressed against his warm, sturdy chest. he kisses you on the head, appreciative of your indulgence of him.

you giggle cutely and move yourself down, laying your head in his lap while he softly plays with your hair. his lovesick gaze, fond smile, & warm thighs envelope your body, filling your senses with suguru. he leans down and presses a soft kiss against your forehead, an addicting contrast of his cold lip ring & warm soft lips electrifying your skin.

he pops a single chocolate-covered strawberry in your mouth, and you playfully nip his finger. he traces your lips softly and starts playfully lecturing you about the constellations that grace the night sky.

he excitedly points at a cluster of three bright stars, “and that is orion’s belt!”

you point at a bright star in the night sky a few lightyears away from it, grin unbelievably wide.

“i think you might be missing one, babe. and you call yourself the modern-day galileo. heh.” you playfully tease him.

suguru rolls his eyes, “okay first of all, i have never called myself that. second of all — excuse me?” his scoff is slightly haughty, & he can’t help the indignant laugh that escapes out of him. “alright, since you know so much — enlighten me then, what’s that one called?”

“hmm… i believe it’s sugurugeto-020390.”

suguru’s eyes widen ridiculously like flying saucers.

“what?”

you push yourself out of his grasp to pull out a certificate from your purse and hand it to him. you sit next to him cross-legged, gauging his reaction.

“trust me, i wish i could get a better name for it, but it turns out there’s a lot of suguru geto’s in the world.”

pausing for a moment, you want to make sure that your boyfriend knows that he’s the only suguru geto on your mind.

giving him bedroom eyes, you purr, “none like you of course.”

he blinks. “what?”

your face falls comically, and you pout, “that bright star in the sky is yours.” you point at it haphazardly. “you’re the light of my life, you illuminate my life, you’re the sole star and center of my universe, blah blah blah… so i figured… ya know…!” you gesticulate wildly, and in the moonlight suguru can see the slight blush on your cheeks. your eyes looking everywhere else but his own.

you’re shy.

he can feel the sinus pressure building up against his nose and the tears glaze over his eyes.

you scratch the back of your head, trying to save face. you quickly backtrack, “i know it’s a bit cheesy and honestly, technically, this was probably a scam, but i figured it was the thought that counts and–”

“shut up.”

you look up at him in a state of shock, “HAH???”

he grabs your cheeks, his silver rings cool against your face, and smashes his lips against your own, teeth slightly knocking against yours. in his excitement, he pushes you down and straddles you, pinning you down to the grass — his body a comforting weight on top of you. he kisses you breathlessly, moaning loudly in your mouth. you can both taste the fruitiness of the strawberry on each others tongues, your own being pressed softly against his piercing. you pull away softly, needing to take a breath.

and the sight above you is one you don’t think you’ll ever want to forget.

suguru’s seductive low-lidded gaze is locked on you, parts of his bangs wisped across his face from the momentum of pouncing on you. he’s breathing heavily, and you can feel his rapid heartbeat hammering against yours, his nipple piercings slightly poking into your chest. a rosy blush spreads itself on his cheeks like a strawberry jam, and you don’t think any view could compare to the one you’re blessed to see now.

his lips are red and glossy, aching to kiss you again. you nod softly, begging him to continue. he slots his lips back with your own, tracing your bottom lip with his tongue before he bites down sensually, groaning loudly when he hears you whimper. he curls an arm underneath your body while kissing you passionately, bringing you closer to him, enveloping you into his space. all you can think about in this moment is: suguru. suguru. suguru.

pulling away once more, and peering deep into his amber orbs, you think that his eyes carry the most beautiful stars. a milky way of ochre and obsidian.

never casting your fond gaze aside, you intertwine your hand with his, bringing it to your lips, kissing each knuckle fervently.

his alluring gaze follows your devoted actions. butterflies brush their wings together inside his stomach, the flutter erupting throughout his whole entire being. he thinks that in the moonlight, underneath the canopy of stars that…

you are the most brightest.

the most beautiful.

the most meaningful.

“honey! i’m hoooooooome!”

you feel unbelievably ecstatic that you can finally get to see your dear boyfriend after two weeks of being apart!

you already have the whole day planned out, perhaps you two can get takeout from your favorite local restaurant and watch anime together! you giggle happily to yourself while thinking about how you both can snuggle and have a cozy day in.

you take your shoes, coat, & purse off by yourself, wondering if suguru is out. usually by the time you’re at the door, suguru is already there welcoming you back with a massive kiss and a “missed you baby.” softly whispered in your ear, especially if you go on a long trip…

hmm, that’s a bit odd.

now that you’re looking around…

the apartment is in complete disarray.

it looks like a tornado blew through the whole place.

you shuffle in further… and dirty dishes are piled in the sink, overflowing dangerously. suguru’s clothes, random knick knacks, and pillows are strewn about as if he threw them all in a fit of rage. crumbs litter the carpet and you see what looks to be dirt tracks on the floorboards. the laundry is stacked high and the air is stuffy, it seems like no windows were opened in the time that you were away.

worriedly, you run into your shared bedroom.

suguru is there, thank god safe & sound, but what you see breaks your heart.

he’s laid face down, the left side of his cheek smooshed into the pillow, black tear tracks staining the fabric… he must’ve cried on a day when he went out? the bedroom is filled with dirty clothes on the floor, and you’re pained to smell the stench of cigarettes in the air. it’s light… maybe he only smoked one… but the fact that he felt the need to smoke at all, shattered your soul.

especially considering he quit ages ago when he started dating you.

you walk towards him lightly, not wanting to scare him off. his eyes are open and he looks at you… but he’s not really looking at you.

“you alright there, precious?” you softly whisper.

a perfunctory question. you know he’s not. he knows he’s not. but you know he’s in no state to answer any questions that you have.

“mhm.” he hums quietly. lethargic, not even having the willpower to answer with anything but a light rasp.

you brush back his bangs, and he shudders. his hair is greasy, oil-black hair clumping together in some places, matted in others. his lips are slightly chapped, a bit bloodied no doubt from his habit of biting his lip when he’s anxious. his fingernails are no stranger to the same action, stubbed and jagged down to the nailbed, his black nail polish chipped. bright amber eyes which often have a gentle look in them have turned into a dull ochre, obsidian pupils overtaking his irises.

they’re still gentle because he’s looking at you… but if you’re being honest with yourself, his eyes remind you a bit of a black hole right now.

vacant of light.

you press a soft kiss against his forehead and leave the room momentarily, thinking to yourself if anything can be done about this situation.

you decide to shoot satoru a quick text, seeing if he can help you out a bit with what you want to do.

you breathe out a sigh of relief, a small smile gracing your face. you can always count on satoru. the man may be silly and eclectic, but at the core of his being, he’s someone who will always take care of and look out for his friends. he’s the type of person to drop anything to help those that he loves and adores.

(sometimes you think that satoru really was an angel put onto earth.) (but then you think that he was probably cast out of heaven for being a little shit.) (regardless, you still fucking love him for it.)

you walk back into the room, and lay your head against your pillow that is next to suguru’s. (it smells like him… he must’ve hugged it while you were away.)

cradling his cheek, you quietly say, “satoru’s also back from his business trip babe, he’ll be coming in about 10 minutes. how about you get a bit of sunshine with him, hmm?” he blinks slowly, nodding softly.

you hold his hand to help him up out from the bed, but he shoos you away, admonishing you slightly, “i can do it myself.”

you nod and leave him to it, mentally preparing yourself for the behemoth cleaning task ahead when he leaves.

suguru pads slowly into the bathroom and puts his hair up in a high ponytail with a hairtie he stole from you, not wanting to deal with it. he washes his face and gets a wet rag to pat down his body and underarms, not having the energy to shower. putting on a random black sweatshirt, he douses himself in your favorite cologne of his. he puts on your strawberry lip balm while popping a piece of mint gum in his mouth. with a tired sigh, he exits the bathroom, dragging his feet to where you are at the door.

he kisses your temple gently. you plant a soft kiss against his knuckles. you think your eyes deceive you when you see a semblance of a twinkle in his eyes. “love you baby. i’ll bring you back somethin’.” he rasps out softly.

even in his darkest times, even when his mind is playing tricks on him, he’s still thinking of you. wanting to take care of you. desiring to show his affections towards you in any way that he can.

you simply want to return the favor.

satoru arrives, wearing a crisp white button up and black tinted glasses, his snowy white hair shining like starlight thanks to the sunbeams that hit him. he hugs suguru gently, placing a soft kiss against his temples. suguru, dressed in all black just nods his head lightly at him. he’s not really interested in going out but knows that you two will force him regardless, reminding him that getting sunshine and looking at different scenery is important.

as they get into the car and back out of the driveway, suguru waves lightly at you, eyes tired yet gentle. satoru winks at you, proud & thankful that suguru has someone that cares so deeply for his mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing.

waving them both a goodbye, you go back inside and put on your cleaning playlist, ready to get started.

the first thing you do is open up the blinds and windows, wanting to air out the stuffiness that had built up over the past two weeks. considering the fact that suguru got a tinge paler and his undereyes looked sunken, you don’t think he got even a single beam of sunshine or any semblance of fresh air in the time that you were away.

padding over to the kitchen, you begin by doing the dishes. wearing your matching baby blue dishgloves, you get to work. it seems like suguru got anxious by seeing all the dishes piled up and started using some paper plates, which would explain the overflowing trash as well. the dishes are caked with food, but soften a bit by dousing them in water along with spritzing a powerwash grease-lifting spray. you sigh happily, glad that this will make it easier. after washing, drying, and putting away the dishes, you turn your attention to the kitchen surfaces.

you wipe down the counter and dining table in circular motions with a lemon-verbena spray, disposing of any old particles of food and random dust that lay upon the surfaces. already in your cleaning mode, you start to feel a little bit more energized.

opening up the refrigerator, you see that it’s been practically untouched. unfortunately, you gag when you smell rotting veggies and fruits, promptly rushing to your kitchen cabinet to get your trash bag to toss any old food away. you mentally remind yourself to get groceries in the morning, maybe if suguru is feeling a bit better after today you both can go together!

walking into the living room, you get your cleaning towel to beat the dust out of all the furniture. usually you & suguru both start with the bedrooms, but this time you figure you’d start with the living room as it’s in a bit of a better shape than the bedroom.

after you finish beating the living hell out of your cushions, you get to swiffering, mopping, and vacuuming — humming and singing loudly to suguru’s favorite songs on your shared cleaning playlist.

you go into the bedroom and start by gathering all of the clothes on the floor and the ones in the hamper to put inside the washing machine. you look around and do the same with the bedsheets and pillow cases, rubbing the eyeliner out of suguru’s pillowcase with some makeup remover first.

cleaning out all of the drawers, you make sure to throw away any random trash and only keep what’s necessary. clutter bothers both you and suguru, so you do your best to try and minimize that. you pick up empty bottles off the nightstand and throw them away. at least he drank a bit of water.

turning your attention to your bookcase, you wipe down the multitude of pictures of you & suguru that he put in frames.

there’s a few of both of you smiling after going on cute dates — suguru’s grin unbelievably wide while flipping off the camera and holding you close to his chest as you laugh loudly. there’s ones of you gazing at him adoringly, your love for him seeping out of the picture. there’s others of him looking at you — a soft fondness in his eyes, an even softer smile gracing his lips, his affectionate gaze tuning out anyone and anything else that isn’t you. both framed and pinned to the wall are multiple candids you two took of one another when the other wasn’t looking or paying attention, bursts of love immortalized in random moments of time.

you tell yourself that the sniffle you do is just because of the dust.

clearing your throat slightly, you look around proudly. you’re done!

you spray each room with a cotton spray, inhaling the fresh linen scent happily. you light up a teakwood candle that suguru bought a few weeks ago in the living room and put a sandalwood diffuser in the bathroom, freshening up the place. you take a well-deserved shower, feeling properly clean and accomplished.

by the time you’re done, it’s around 5:30 P.M in the evening and satoru texts you that they’re on their way and will be back home in approximately 30 minutes.

you get a can of sprite, his preferred soda, out from the fridge and put it on the counter. you decide to place an order for takeout from suguru’s favorite local spot, one that sells cold zaru soba noodles, his favorite food. you place another order at his favorite bakery for matcha crepes, his most loved dessert. the zaru soba will come within an hour and a half, but the dessert will come sooner so you also order a flower delivery too — a cute little surprise which will come within the same amount of time as the crepes.

you figure that you’ll also do the same for satoru, a little thank-you present for when he comes back to his own apartment. you order a bouquet of narcissus & holly for him, internally hoping that he likes it. you also order all of his favorite desserts from his favorite bakery! knowing that he will happily fill himself up on raspberry macarons, strawberry cake, vanilla mochi, chocolate donuts, & zunda cream kikufuku to his heart’s desire.

walking back into the bathroom, you get the most important part of your night started.

suguru finds his heart a bit lighter when he comes back to your shared home. he didn’t want to admit it to satoru… but he actually had a fun time eating, shopping, and listening to his hilarious stories about his shitty business trip. he’d be lying though if he said that he wasn’t most excited to see you after a long, eventful day.

in his hand are a bunch of shopping bags from stores that satoru dragged him to — clothes from your favorite stores, accessories & bags that you most wear, shoes that you need, books & knick knacks that you like — all for you. he bought a few for himself of course, but he mainly wanted to spoil you. he can’t help the small smile that creeps up on his face when he thinks about how excited you’ll be to see the gifts he got you.

thinking back on it, the guilt and shame he felt in his heart when you first saw him earlier today ate him up. he didn’t even know why he was feeling the way he was feeling so strongly. it was coincidence that it coincided with your trip, and he made sure that he would sound fun and happy over text as to not worry you. it wasn’t until a few days from when you were actually set to arrive that he didn’t even have the energy to talk or text you.

hell, he didn’t even have the energy to keep the apartment tidy or keep himself in check either. another pang of guilt hits him like a freight truck. he concludes that he’ll give you a spa day so he can clean everything up, not wanting you to worry about the mess he made.

he knows from the bottom of his heart that you’d never judge him or make him feel small for feeling the way he felt, he just feels so bad that he couldn’t even muster up the energy to greet you the way you deserved to be greeted. to kiss you. to hug you. to have a delicious dinner together and snuggle with you.

but no. after a long trip you had to come home and be worried for him. have the apartment be in disarray, have to see him be in disarray. fuck, you were worried enough to call up satoru.

he swears to himself that he’s gonna make it up to you. he swears that–

oh?

what?

suguru’s eyes widen, hands weakly dropping his shopping bags on the floor.

the entire apartment, top to bottom, is spotless.

dishes done and put away. dining table clean. living room tidy. is that… a bouquet of daffodils, his birth flower, on the counter? he also sees the bag from his favorite bakery right next to it too…

he walks around, astonished, at how you’ve made the apartment look brand new.

he reaches the bedroom and sees that the bed is made. his clothes have been clean, dried, and put up in hangers inside his closet. the nightstand, dresser, and bookcase all spotless and wiped free of dust.

a fresh smell envelopes his sinuses. he swallows the lump in his throat. did you smell the single cigarette he smoked? it seems like you aired out the whole apartment. in front of him is a beautiful sunset that waves at him from outside. a sunray beam kisses his cheeks. suguru blinks and feels something wet trailing down his face… it tastes salty on his lips. but feels so warm and sweet.

“suguru?” your angelic voice calls to him.

he turns around and sees you. fresh and clean, a beacon of warmth and illumination. a light blush dusting your cheeks no doubt from all of the hard work you’ve done.

“i ran you a bath. you up for it?” you tilt your head cutely at him, a silent plea in your eyes for him to agree.

feeling like his voice will betray him if he speaks, he nods softly. grabbing his hand, you take him to your shared bathroom, also totally spotless. your hands are soft and small in his, warm for once, because of you taking a hot shower and checking the temperature of the water for suguru’s bath. a sandalwood scent envelopes his nose, no doubt from the diffuser you put inside. he sees the romantic candles and rose petals around the bathtub and he can’t help the smile that overtakes his face.

“for me?” he rasps, a teasing tilt to his voice.

“always. everything and anything i do will always be for you.” you say it seriously. genuinely.

to you, it’s a vow. an oath.

his eyes widen slightly, but he closes them momentarily, not wanting any more tears to spill. he crinkles his eyes and smiles at you softly.

“you joining me?” he undresses, taking off his sweatshirt and t-shirt. showcasing his tan skin, toned abs, & muscles. his nipple piercings & belly button piercing are on full display and he giggles lightly as you ogle at his body, watching your eyes trace his numerous tattoos & piercings, absolutely mesmerized.

“maybe next time,” you smirk, a playful twinkle in your eyes. “figured i could do a little pamper session, is that alright with you?” you ask him caringly, wanting to make sure that he’s comfortable with it first & foremost.

he fears that if he speaks any louder than a whisper, the love that overcomes him will drown his airways. he rasps out a small, “yeah.”

always. anything and everything you do will always be right for me.

he gets into the bath and you try to not let your eyes trail down, instead focusing your gaze on his dragon tattoo that encompasses his entire back along with the mythological japanese creatures that trail up his arms and ribcage like tapestry. you see one of your favorites, a black and white beta fish upon his ribs, submerged underneath the water he’s in.

from this angle, you can also see your name that he tattooed behind his ear. smiling to yourself, you sit behind him, ready to begin the pamper session.

his sloshes the rose petals around with his fingers. the water is warm, is his first thought. i wish you were in here with me, is his second.

your fingers stroke his hair softly, lulling him into a false sense of security, and then you get to work, vigorously rubbing in his lavender shampoo. he can’t help the laugh that escapes him. for some reason anytime you two would take baths or take showers together, you would always wash his scalp aggressively. “this is how i wash my hair sugu! what’s a little run through gonna do? we gotta keep clean!” did clean mean damn near ripping out his hair follicles? possibly.

he’d never stop you or scold you however, he thinks it’s hilarious and an endearing trait of yours. when he washes your hair he makes sure to be as soft and careful as possible, almost lulling you to sleep. when you wash his hair however, it’s like you’re turbowashing a pickup truck. he figures this time he’ll give you a pass (he always does) considering that he doesn’t think he’s washed his hair in around a week and a half.

“gonna rinse now, okay?” he hums quietly, closing his eyes.

this almost feels like a purification process to him.

you lather shampoo in his hair once again wanting to do a double cleanse, this time a bit more softly. you massage his scalp, and he tips his head back. you start from the crown of his head, working in circular motions, using your fingertips. then you go to the roots of his hair, pressing and lathering, pressing and lathering, pressing and lathering.

you push his head forward slightly so you can clean the back of his head too, massaging the pressure points in his scalp. you were always a good masseuse, therefore a deep sigh escapes him, tension leaving his body by the second. (this might be the first time in two weeks where he’s been able to breathe comfortably.) you run your fingers throughout the clean strands of his hair, humming a little tune to yourself.

“they called me.” your hands still for second, but resume back to carefully twisting the water out his silky black hair. you stay quiet, knowing that when suguru speaks he prefers to get it all out there first.

“must’ve been like, what, two days after you left?” a humorless laugh escapes him. “they always know when to fuck up my mood. i swear.”

he sighs tiredly. “they went on a whole spiel about how i need to come back home and find a ‘real job’ as a hotshot lawyer or some fancy businessman, as if i don’t run my own tattoo parlor. as if i’m not also a real fucking businessman. like, do they think i don’t make any money? that i can’t comfortably take care of us both?” he rolls his eyes, getting annoyed again just thinking about how long the same repeated conversation had gone on.

suguru’s family is relatively well-off. he’s genuinely thankful that both him & satoru never had to worry about how to put food on the table or be worried about not being able to spoil the people that they loved.

it’s just that his parents were angry that their picture-perfect little boy wanted to spread his wings… see a world that had more to offer than quiet dinner table meals filled with tension and pointed jabs at one another guised as “caring advice.”

their image of suguru started to get distorted when he first showed up on their doorstep with his gauges. an act of rebellion. he could’ve worn small simple diamond studs but he wanted to make an impression: i’m my own person. even as a 13 year old boy, i can make this decision on my own. he remembers the way his father said he looked foolish. how his mother held her hand over her heart, in shock that her little baby boy had tainted himself in such a manner. what would others say?

suguru remembers looking in the mirror after the whole fiasco & thinking: god… they’d say i look so fucking cool.

then it started with sneaking out to go on late night drives with satoru, shoko, nanami, & haibara. they’d jam out to random songs on the radio, get slurpees & snacks, and sit in satoru’s car just talking about life and their future for hours. suguru still remembers the way his bangs wisped across his face, the crisp night air purifying his soul, the stars in the sky illuminating the landscape. the world seemed bigger those days and the gang were enjoying their teenage years. enjoying their youth.

he remembers coming home, his father waiting for him on the couch, pointing to the seat next to him, forcing suguru to sit down. his father’s arms crossed, black turtleneck making his muscles bulge slightly out of his sweater, his specs on the bridge of his nose making him look so serious. suguru found it easy to make eye contact with everyone in the world, but with his father he couldn’t help but look away sometimes… so he redirected his gaze to the tiny delicate beauty mark near his fathers right eye. a small little thing that made his father look a bit more… prettier. nicer. less daunting.

“where were you?” the timbre of his father’s voice rattled his bones. he muttered those three words quietly, but it still shattered suguru’s eardrums regardless.

“out. with my friends.”

he scoffs. “some friends they are.” a deep resounding ring of utter disappointment comes from his father’s words.

suguru sneers at the man, pissed that he would even think to disrespect suguru’s choice of friends like that. “yeah, they’re the best.” not an ounce of sarcasm lacing his words. his own mood dampened, nevertheless.

he recalls stomping all the way upstairs and slamming the door with all his might. sitting on his bed and resting his head against the window pane, eyes looking up at the same stars he saw when hanging out with his friends.

the stars seemed so far away from suguru’s room.

the world looked so big. suguru felt so small.

then one day, months later, suguru kissed a pretty boy. he can’t quite remember his name anymore, just that his lips were soft and his eyes were kind. suguru’s parents found out. his dad was surprisingly fine with it… he just assumed it was a phase, he went through the same thing as his son did when he was his age. his mother however… she just acted like it never happened the next morning. as if it wasn’t just a part of who he is.

his parents thought he was rebelling for the sake of rebellion. in actuality, it was suguru’s true self coming out. he was just getting more comfortable in his own skin. he was tired of being the picture perfect beauty who always was demanded of being polite, poised, & graceful. it was always too easy for him to put on a fake smile and manipulate others into doing what he wanted for the sake of his family’s reputation, it’s what he was taught. being at that house, it felt like he was kept on a tight leash, restricted from living his life. he felt caged like a bird…

but he just wanted to be free.

all he wanted was to just truly be himself in this world.

a kiss against his scalp breaks him out of his reverie.

right… he was here with you. he doesn’t have to spiral or worry anymore. you’re here. with him.

you’re here, you’re here, you’re here.

he shudders softly, taking your hand, holding it tight within his grasp. anger laces his next words, “they also said it’s time i get into a ‘real relationship’. whatever the fuck that means.”

you giggle. you know that his parents aren’t too fond of you. you’re not exactly of the same… class or status as them. at least that’s what suguru’s mother told him.

he huffs out a single dry laugh, “i’m glad you’re giggling about it because i nearly popped a fucking blood vessel screaming into my phone when they said that shit.”

“my protector.” you coo to him.

a light blush tinges his cheeks. always.

he presses a kiss against your palm. “i think it just made me… spiral a bit, y’know? reminded me of when i was kid and they made every little decision for me. i mean i’m a fucking adult now — i can decide what i do, who i wanna be, and who i want to be with.”

so when he got that phone-call from them on that day he was supposed to go to some rock concert… he did the one thing he promised himself he’d never do again. he lit a cigarette, and cried his eyes out into his pillow.

while sobbing, he remembered when he was in his early twenties and he’d sleep around with anyone and everyone, smoke blunts & cigarettes, go bar-hopping… do everything the picture-perfect pretty boy would never be allowed to do under his parents roof. his family just made him so miserable that he would do anything to not think of them.

he heard your voice in his head, reminding him, that instead of continuing on that self-destructive streak, he got his shit together. art & drawing was always his safe haven, so he found himself an apprenticeship at a tattoo parlor, getting a job as a piercer and ultimately working his way up to being a tattooist. he owns his own place now — all his hard work & effort paid off.

his mind travels back to you. his true love.

ever since the moment he met you, he was mesmerized by your beauty, your personality, and your loving words & actions.

suguru’s heart and sobs only calmed down when he thought of you. his beloved. his angel. his reason to be. he hugged your pillow a bit tighter that night, imagining it was you.

“i’m proud of you, you know.” you say it so genuinely that it tugs on his heartstrings, making his heart skip a beat.

“you’ve been through a lot of shit with your parents, but at the end of the day, you chose to follow what your heart desired — not whatever they wanted. you’re successful in what you do and you made the right decision. it doesn’t matter what the hell they say, because they don’t know the effort and time it took you to get where you are.” you say it so passionately, that suguru believes every word that comes out of your mouth. his heart racing, thankful that somebody fucking understands him.

“you’re kind. you’re caring. you’re so unbelievably loving. you’re always looking out for others and helping anyone that needs it… you’re a good fucking person, suguru. i hope you know that and realize that. it doesn’t matter what anyone else says, you are good. what you do is good. who you are is good. it’s an honor to be able to love you and be with you. i hope you know that.”

for the first time in a while, suguru turns around and really looks at you. the way you bare your soul to him so effortlessly, the way you smile so sweetly at him, the way you make him feel like he’s your one true love.

“i’m so thankful for you. i love you… and i want to be with you, too. always.” his voice breaks a little, overcome with emotion.

suguru hugs you tightly, neither of you caring about the wetness on your clothes. suguru puts his entire spectrum of feelings towards you into the hug — an apology, a thank you, and a proclamation of love.

voice a bit shaky, he laughs, “sorry for getting you all wet. i know how much you hate drenched clothes.”

“you apologizing for getting me wet? now that’s a first.” you purr playfully, glad to see him in better spirits.

a loud laugh bellows out from suguru, deep within his gut. he kisses your lips preciously, and sits back down in the water, urging you to continue.

the mood now is far lighter. the air thick with a sweet steam.

you rinse his hair and gently put his lavender conditioner through his hair. massaging it in, running your fingers through his silky smooth strands. you put his hair up in a clip for a few minutes to let the product soak in. he washes it out himself while you start the shower, making sure you put in his favorite honey-almond bodywash. he gives you a silly yet oddly sultry show when he lathers himself and he promptly comes out, steaming and refreshed. you help him do his skincare routine, softly rubbing each and every product into his skin. he towels off and sits down, hairbrush in his hand, looking at you.

“here, let’s do this first.” you blow dry his hair, taking your time and allowing suguru to lull his head back onto your front, the soft black tresses of your beloved’s hair feeling much more revitalized in your fingers. you then brush his hair, gently, carefully. the entire time, you notice that suguru’s eyes are closed and he’s smiling to himself. you kiss him on the top of his head, and he turns to kiss you back. eyes closed, his lips puckered…

but just then, the doorbell rings.

“OOH! perfect timing!” you scurry off. you leave a pouting suguru who huffs out a little “hmph.” annoyed that whoever was at the door took a very well-deserved kiss away from him.

he patters softly to the kitchen where you’re setting out cold zaru soba noodles for him along with a can of sprite and matcha crepes. all of his favorites.

you hold a bouquet of flowers. daffodils.

“for you.” you curtsy, a mirthful twinkle in your eyes. he graciously accepts them from you, a shy smile and light flush across his cheeks.

“thank you.”

kissing his knuckles you whisper, “anything for you.”

for once in his whole entire life, suguru doesn’t think he can bear to look you in the eye. your adoration is so unbelievably intense, it feels like it’ll burn a hole inside his heart. does he deserve so much goodness in his life?

“you deserve more than what i can give you. i’ll spend my whole life making sure you realize that, suguru.” you say to him honestly. “if you’ll allow me of course.”

he kisses you on the lips softly, hoping that you can feel how thankful and lucky he is that he has you. “likewise.”

he clears his throat. “okay, c’mon. i’m starving. i wanna watch that stupid anime and shit talk that hot guy you like on screen while we snuggle.”

“he’s the best character, suguru!” you huff indignantly. clearly he can’t be talking about thee toji fushiguro???

“babe. he SUCKS.”

he knows you so well, he muses to himself.

he knows how your breath hitches after he nuzzles his lips against the curve of your neck, that the skin is sensitive there, but not as sensitive as your right ear. he knows that because of the way your knees buckle as he whispers soft romances to you, intense shivers overtaking your body. he makes sure that his arm is always wrapped tender yet firmly around your waist when that happens, trapping you against his unyielding body.

he knows what makes you tick. on the rare occasion that you allow your emotions to overcome you, he knows how to comfort you. he leaves you alone for a few moments so you’re able to gather your thoughts & assess your bearings, and then he invites you into his warm embrace. he lets you lay your head in his lap as he strokes your hair gingerly, easing your soul with both honest and kind words. adorning your face with soft kisses and even softer caresses. a cocoon of protection.

it seems like these days, however, he hasn’t had a proper grasp on you. you can’t hide a single thing from him, he knows that you would never willingly do so either.

it’s not like you want to anyways — not that you intend to, at least.

but it’s an aching feeling in his chest, nonetheless.

earlier in the week, you’d softly shut your bedroom door whenever you saw him, pretending as if you couldn’t see each other… as if he wasn’t there. it’s moments where he found you haphazardly digging for shit in your drawers, tucking whatever it was into your pockets and padding away softly to your room. you’d stay in there for hours, only coming out when he knocked on your door to tell you dinner was ready. he heard lots of rustling and you pretended as if you were just chilling in there, as if nothing was going on. sometimes when he knocked on your door to see what you were up to, all he heard back was an “i’m busy, baby! i’ll be out soon!” then it became even more odd, you’d quickly shut off your phone whenever he came into the room and would plaster a bright smile at him as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

he sighs to himself. he trusts you. he loves you. he knows you’re not doing anything heinous.

but… why won’t you tell him what’s bothering you? don’t you trust him to fix whatever is wrong? it eats away at his mind & soul that you think you have to hide whatever it is that’s taking you from him. don’t you know that he’d drop anything for you? that’s what being in love is for, right?

his eyes peer at you from the couch, studying you. he calls out to you softly, “angel. can we talk, please?”

a statement posed as a question. he knows this. you know this. you answer regardless.

“sure.”

you walk towards him, intentionally adding a lackadaisical swagger to your steps. to fool him. you know it won’t, he knows it won’t. but suguru isn’t anything if a man who doesn’t indulge his beloved.

he pats the seat next to him on the couch. inviting. as if he’s giving you a choice, even though you know you have none at the moment. “sit next to me, my love.” his smile is taut like a string, amber eyes shut closed so you don’t bear witness to the tears that threaten to spill.

he knows you’re hiding something.

he doesn’t like not being in the know.

is it something he did?

is it something you did but are too afraid to tell him?

since when were you afraid of him?

were you always–?

in the few seconds it takes you to sit down, a myriad of questions race through suguru’s head, creating a spiral of untamable negative thoughts. you would talk to him if something was wrong, right? you both have a healthy communication and always talk things over with each other… so what’s different now? do you not trust him?

suguru chastises himself, thoroughly.

of course you wouldn’t want to speak to someone like him.

always the overthinker. always the nagging negative nancy. always the manic-depressive.

sometimes suguru fears that he acts more like a father to you rather than a boyfriend.

that he’s a bit suffocating. too intense. very overbearing.

a warm hand engulfs both of your small, cold ones. he hopes that it comes off as sweet, as caring. because he himself is sweet and caring.

at least he hopes he comes off like that.

“is everything alright, sweetheart?” a soft whisper. he speaks placatingly to you like you’re a newborn fawn and any loud noises or large movements will make you jolt and run away. “i feel like… you’ve been avoiding me recently. and…” he takes a deep breath. “listen, i don’t know if it’s something i did, but you need to tell me, okay? you have to tell me so i can make it better.”

he thinks he sounds nurturing. kind. paternal.

he also thinks he sounds so fucking condescending.

he closes his eyes and a picture of a man darts across his eyelids like an overdeveloped photo.

strict, heavy-handed, cutthroat.

paternal and protective to a fault. a man who was always “right” even when he was wrong.

an “apathetic” man who bore a child who thought too much – felt too much.

a flash of a sophisticatedly handsome man with obsidian shoulder length hair, serious low-lidded eyes, and a firm closed mouth sears itself across suguru’s brain like a charred photograph.

he flings away the afterimage as quickly as it came. pretending as if he never even thought of it.

he gulps, swallowing the fireball in his throat. god, he really doesn’t want to be like… him. having a majority of his features is enough, he does not want to inherit that man’s personality.

suguru absentmindedly rubs the slit in his eyebrow, his grip unintentionally tightening on your hands. he releases moments after, not wanting to cause you any pain.

“everything is fine with me sugu, i promise you.” you reassure him. “it wasn’t my intention to avoid you or make you feel like you did anything wrong… i am so sorry if it came off like that.” you answer him honestly. your head is tilted to the side like a little puppy, brows furrowed, upset that you made him feel like you were trying to get away from him.

“no, no no no no no, baby it’s not your fault.” he quickly grabs your cheeks, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. he brings you against his chest, hugging you tightly. “don’t apologize honey, i’m sorry… i just got into my head a bit.” he quickly placates you and kisses the top of your head. you shouldn’t be the one to suffer because he started to anxiously overthink and spiral.

he looks at the time on his watch. it’s a few minutes past midnight. you both should go to sleep… maybe you can talk it over in bed or in the morning with clear heads.

you exhale softly, shaking your head faintly. you press a delicate kiss against the corner of his lips. telling him, “give me a sec.”, you walk over and into your room.

he nods and watches you saunter away, putting his head into his hands. god… him and his big mouth… he sighs, anxiety crawling up his throat once more. he really didn’t want to upset you or anything, he angrily tells himself to apologize to you when you get back.

hearing you shuffle closer to him, he lifts his head.

in your hands is a… huge book?

“i wanted to give you this tomorrow… well technically today, but i guess it doesn’t really matter.”

he tilts his head, confused. you present him with the thing you’ve been working so hard on.

you smile at him so softly, he thinks that his heart is about to burst. “happy birthday, suguru.”

birthday…? oh god, it is his birthday.

he gently takes the present from you… it’s a scrapbook.

“don’t look at it in front of me! okay, bye!” you quickly sprint into your room, not wanting to be in the room when suguru looks at such a personalized present.

blinking, he grabs his reading glasses from the coffee table, and opens the book, flipping through each page carefully.

photobooth pictures, polaroids, kodak film pictures, movie tickets from your dates, admission tickets from amusement parks he’s taken you to, and multiple candids of both him and you - many of which he hasn’t seen.

one of them looks awfully familiar… did you take this the day you took him stargazing in the meadow? his fingers brush against his trembling lips, trying to stop himself from sobbing.

is this what you were doing?

he feels so stupid.

but god… does he feel so fucking loved.

you’ve immortalized every single moment of your relationship with him. nothing being too small for you to be excited about, carefully keeping everything.

he sees the little pressed flower of a daffodil enclosed in wax paper on one of the pages, probably from the first time you gave him a bouquet. the first time anyone has presented him with flowers without wanting anything in return. when asked about the occasion, you simply shrugged and said “just felt like it” & then quickly kissed his knuckles, zooming out of his apartment to run errands. he remembers how bashful he felt. how thankful he was. how loved that experience made him feel.

he moves his glasses upwards, wiping the tears across his lashline and the ones that stream down his face. he clears his throat slightly, and continues flipping the pages. you’ve drawn little doodles (things that he’s already planning to get tattooed on him simply because they came from you) and you’ve written beautiful, personal messages. encapsulating your adoration for suguru in the margins — genuine words filled with your love, devotion, and admiration for him.

he sniffs loudly and tries to wipe his face the best he can. he tenderly calls out your name, beckoning you over to him, and you get up out of your shared bedroom to pad softly into his open arms.

“my love.” he stands up and walks over to you midway. he hugs you so tightly while pressing your head against his beating heart, his arms protectively enveloping you. the space between you two is nonexistent, and suguru surmises that he wouldn’t have it any other way.

conveying his thankfulness and love to you, he sweetly says, “my sweet, sweet girl.” a soft kiss pressed against your hair, “my heart beats for you, forever and always.” from anyone else it’d sound cheesy, but from suguru… you know he means it from the depths of his soul.

“my little dove.” he coos so fondly, sweet candied sugar dripping from every syllable. he holds your face in his gentle hands, openly divulging his admiration for you, “you’re so precious to me, you know that? i love you. i love you. i love you.” a tender kiss pressed against your soft lips between each proclamation of adoration.

you smile graciously, thankful and relieved that he adores your present and that he especially adores you. you knew out of any of your presents that you were going to give him today, that this would be the most meaningful. suguru has always been the ultimate sentimentalist, and you wanted him to know that you care for him so deeply. that you love him. adore him. that your heart beats only for him. pushing back a black tendril of your true love’s hair behind his ear, you kiss him gently. both of your lips fitting together perfectly — like a lock & key.

you bring his knuckles upon your lips, preciously kissing his promise ring, ensuring to him that your love and devotion runs deep, deeper than anything in this world.

“i love you too. happy birthday, my love.” his hands are so gentle. his face is so sweet. suguru… your one true love.

if you asked suguru to describe you in three words, he’d say you were: devoted. loyal. loving.

he has four more of his own on the tip of his tongue that he’ll ask to you when he musters up the courage.

with a soft kiss upon the ring on your knuckles, and an even softer smile upon his lips, he lovingly breathes out, “私はあなたを永遠に愛します”