#flipper fails

[hometoursandotherstuff]

Now, why the hell is the exhaust hood over the sink?

[tirsden]

My inspiration concept of "chocolate mint" for this build settled in somewhere during the reconstruction phase. We do indeed have much chocolate and a decent amount of mint, and the Charming Hideaway in House Flipper 2 is now a whole lot sweeter. The entire structure got reworked, with the usual challenge of how to make the undeletable stairs and roofs work out with the new concept. The bedroom and bathroom are now in the basement, the open-air dining area outside is a lovely place to chill unless it's actually to chilly out, and upstairs is all cozy with a fireplace living room, dining, and kitchen. NGL, this puppy was a pain in the ass at many points in the project but now, like... can I go live there? So long as there's internet and package delivery, I'm good.

[n0tamused]

Hello!! I’ve been following you for a little bit, and I just haven’t reached out much because. I’m scared🧍‍♀️(not of you, just reaching out in general because for some reason I think people will bite me if I try to interact)

alsoyourworkislovelyandsoisyourocandsoareyou. <3

But!!! If you’re stilling doing your 1.5k follower event (congrats btw!!) would it be alright if I made a request for Dr. Ratio, action prompt 14 (romantic) pretty please? :3 Love my wife fr. He needs to come home 💔

Thank you, and have a lovely day/night! Congratulations again on your milestone!! ❀

˖ ࣪⊹Morning fuss

Prompt: action 14. First kiss

A/n: Hello! And dw I totally understand you lol, but I'm so happy you decided to reach out now and make a request! <3 I can totally whip up some Dr Ratio, anytime hehe. I had different ideas as to how to do this, but I settled on this one primarily because it is set in a private space and where Ratio is arguably at his most vulnerable and it's just lots of fluff. I hope you enjoy! Thank you so much for your kind words! Wishing you luck on getting Ratio!

Contents: Dr. Ratio x Reader, gn reader, fluff, morning cuddles, reader has a wack dream

Words: 895

Ko-Fi |  1.5K followers event(closed)

He had never sounded so carefree. The moment nearly felt like a distant dream as bed sheets still clung onto both of your forms with sunshine streaming through in pale yellow lances. Perhaps carefree was not the most correct term, but the way he laughed and the fact his face was devoid of any hard line or angry wrinkle failed to remind you of anything but liberty.

It started off with you waking up from a sleep you could only explain as a fever dream, you woke up believing you were still held within the confines of those halls, looking for the walking, upside down rabbit and all you could think of is to warn Veritas of the deceiving shampoo and the seal walking on flippers. 

Veritas, also freshly woken up, didn’t have the brains yet to comprehend your confusing talk, and for several moments he made an effort to ask questions and to understand you better, to calm you down from your groggy rambling. 

His hand found your shoulder, rubbing with tender care, his eyes taking a bit too long to open after every blink. “What are you talking about?” he asked, at long last starting to grasp the strands of reality.

“The seal..Veritas, I..” you bumble and mumble, but slowly come back to your senses, and when your eyes meet his you could almost see your own realization reflected back at you as his own eyes flushed off the sleep they carried. Reality set in and silence followed.

Then you began to chuckle, flushing in embarrassment as you had drawn almost flush against him under the blankets in your previous stupor. 

Giggling, you bury yourself in his chest, apologizing over and over again until you feel him move and his chest shake with his own laughter. 

“In the name of.. Have you seriously fallen so deep into slumber that you thought a seal was a threat to you, me?”

“A seal can be a threat! Don’t act so clever with me now, you damn well know what seals are capable off”

“Clearly. One more thing you forgot to add is that they’re capable of flight and I would’ve believed you” he bit back at you with humor dripping off every word. You have wormed your way on top of his chest, and he patted you on your back as if to console you for your embarrassment. “Although, I can’t deny your care is endearing”

“Is this the closest I’ll get to you giving me a direct compliment?” you quip, a cheeky smile on your face as your head shot up, looking down at him and the way his messy hair made him look nearly ethereal in the morning sun. 

Ratio scoffed, “Like I don’t give you enough praise already, do you want to be spoiled now as well?” he groaned as he shifted, just enough to grab the runaway blanket and pull it over your back again. It was too early even for him to get up, a few more minutes of warmth wouldn’t hurt.

“Spoiling your partner isn’t all that bad” you argued, propping yourself up more comfortably on his chest. “For caring for you no less, you’re such a handful at times” you added with a yawn, noticing how his brow twitched in amusement.

The distance between the two of you was disregardable. Your noses were nearly touching and Veritas couldn’t help his hand when it rose to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. “Me being a handful is only a natural reaction to you being an arms full” he told you, a smug looking expression nestling into the lines of his face.

You only tilted your head and felt your expression grow into the silent question of ‘really?’. “You’re being such a handful right now. I worry for you even when I am not awake, and this is your thanks?” 

“Hm, you may be right, in some way” he nonchalantly mused, relaxing into the mattress with a sigh. His hand had fallen down, caressing the side of your neck. “I thank you for your valiant service, for being so willing to defend me against the feverish animals your mind conjured, the ones that wished to harm me, although I highly doubt they wanted anything at all” he chuckled again, his thumb brushing against your jawline.

“..now was that so hard?” you ask in a whisper as sleep tempts to take you again, his warmth wishes to lull you back to sleep. Your head is feeling heavy and without much thought you let it fall closer, and your lips fall onto his own.

Veritas’ eyes fall closed and his hand tightens its grip at your nape ever so lightly, displaying his disbelief and mild shock, but accepting it regardless. He holds you close, his breath stopping in his throat.

A beeping sound echoes in the air, separating the two of you. It wasn't a hard guess to figure out what it was - Veritas’ alarm had brought a sour expression over his face. For a few moments he let it ring on, hoping to ignore it as he rested against the pillows and returned his eyes to your own, a silent apology woven in his colored eyes. He then leaned forward and kissed you sweetly on the cheek before reaching for his phone to turn the offending sound off.

Ⓒ n0tamused/jarttavia_. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.

[envy-of-the-apple]

Saw your post on Siren!StSg and I just have it in my head that Siren!Suguru can do magic. His octopus design is very Ursula.

So imagine that once StSg manage to drag you down from that dinky little boat after toying with you for days, it’s finally time to drown you. But the moment he gets you into his arms and tentacles underwater, he hesitates. Satoru laments about losing something so fun. It’s not everyday humans are immune to siren song and he does think you’re so cute with the way you were so terrified of them.

While they talk about why that might be, you’re running out of oxygen. Satoru kisses air into your lungs just as you exhale the last bubbles from your lungs. It tastes like rotting fish but your tears dissolve into the ocean as you breathe it in anyway. You’re desperate in the way that animal fights to survive, clinging to Satoru when he tries to pull away, making such an aggrieved face from the salt in your eyes and the burn in your lungs. It’s the cutest things these two monsters have seen in a while.

They might just keep you.

As they head to their lair, they take turns breathing into you. Something about the terror in your face and the way you latch onto their lips becoming a new favorite of theirs. The way you squirm when the suckers of Suguru’s tentacles kiss your skin or flinch when the slimy texture of Satoru’s scales glide across your legs. It’s fun.

It gets to a point where Suguru builds a shelf with air for you to stay on in their lair to keep you around for a while.

Later, much later, when your novelty turns into endearment, does Satoru suggest turning you into a siren. Suguru’s powerful enough to do that. But maybe that can wait. There’s nothing like knowing they’re the very air you breathe.

i love how we're just ignoring that the 'suguru's caecelia's design was actually kenny. i love our delulu fandom lmaooo

"they might just keep you" squealing and kicking my feet rn

i feel like its a special kind of horror if they decide to not even turn you into a siren?? they like how helpless you are. your feet arent as strong as their flippers. they want you to stay reliant on them<3

the final endgame for them is when they've broken you into compliance. maybe after a few months of good behavior they find an island they can prop you up on so you can enjoy sunshine again. its not all that big, and you wont be able to get away from them truly but....its better than the dark caves.

It's a privilege, they never fail to remind you, the island is a privilege.

it can always be taken away.

LMAO so i was rereading this and i was like 'wait why is this so familiar' and then i was like OMG SOLITUDE aka the BEST hisoillumi fic EVER. anyway if yall want some yan mer fics go check out Solitude! will not dissapoint!!!

[bucketsquid]

a tired octoling's advice for gold ???? salmon run rotations

so i'm in evp950-999 bracket right now and seeing people clearly not use their weapons correctly and it's kind of driving me bananas. i don't know why this is happening. but it makes me want to make a cheatsheet for Grizzco weapons and what they should be doing to make the shift smoother.

note that anyone can deal with maws because of how you dispose of them, same with flippers. "grounded bosses" refers to eels + big shots + scrappers (not steelheads bc you need range or piercing to get them).

so here's some weapon-based tips for anyone who may need them during the last few hours of big run + for later gold rotations:

grizzco slosher: like the explosher, a flyfish killer. hitting the cockpit of a flyfish with a gslosh projectile is an instant splat. aim well and move fast. prioritize flyfish. also armored bosses (drizzlers, steelheads, sometimes scrappers + lids) because you two-hit all of them regardless where you hit them. mind your ink, you have 4 shots on a full tank.

unless you have 3+ gsloshers in team comp, please don't waste your shots on fish sticks i beg you

grizzco brella & blaster: as rapid-fire, you need to help handle fish sticks and stingers the most; deal with them as they show up. but outside of that, you are the flexible team slot(s) and can generally handle a lot of threats.

grizzco roller: your speed and contact damage helps you destroy hordes of lessers as well as grounded bosses. use your speed to run eggs and revive teammates, too. your flick is slow and can easily get you splatted; use it to fell steelheads, ink fish sticks, etc in a pinch. you can also use your speed to set off slammin lids very safely.

also please note the knockback from running into scrappers, it can and will get you into trouble. ALSO this weapon completely trivializes Glowflies/Rush. move slowly at the swarm.

grizzco dualies: like the rapid-fire weapons, you destroy stingers; unlike them you can't climb fish sticks easily without help. work on thinning hordes of lessers, reviving teammates, running eggs and dealing with grounded bosses. your dodge roll is a very safe bet to get slammin lids to go off. PLEASE be mindful of where you end up after you're done dodge rolling or you will get splatted.

if you don't have anything better to do, just run eggs or throw bombs at flyfish.... but this is advice for most generalist and low-range weapons.

grizzco charger: first get used to spamming it at max charge. good? okay, you handle steelheads, slammin lids, stingers, and sometimes drizzlers. you can also spam shots at steel eels and scrappers pretty effectively. in a sense you are a generalist with a lot of range.

for the love of fax machine kamisama, DO NOT WASTE YOUR SHOTS ON FISH STICKS. DO NOT. even a groller will do it better and faster than you. ink the side of a fish stick for a teammate and go do something better. please

grizzco splatana: all power, no range. focus on armored foes like drizzlers + steelheads, grounded bosses and hordes of lessers. you can kill flyfish in a pinch but you risk being hit by their exhaust and they need to be on land.

grizzco stringer: another generalist/flex team slot. you have the reach for steelheads and slammin lids but you need to align your shots well to oneshot them. i suggest helping with grounded bosses + fish sticks + stingers and then doing general duties like bombing maws/flyfish, running eggs, reviving allies.

a lot of this does rely on your whole team having common sense and knowing what each weapon is best at. and that's not always reasonable in random queue! but if you know what you're doing, then you're already doing a great job. if you're doing your best and your team still fails, it's not really your fault. it happens.

be willing to be flexible based on team composition. sometimes you get 3 stringer 1 splatana and you just have to deal with it. i've had multiple 2 roller 2 dualies compositions this weekend... and had times where the only bosses that spawn in the first 20 seconds are flyfish, with no slosher present. you gotta do stupid things to survive and hit quota and that is okay!

but being informed about what each weapon can do is very helpful too. i hope i could help. :3 please feel free to add since this is just for normal wave!

[asofspades]

Next post regarding the LU boy's adventure items

This time it's about shared items or items that are similar enough to lead to group "activities"

Okay, Pegasus boots, bothe Four and Legend have them, however Time might not have Pegasus boots but he has the rabbit hood, this has potential for them having races to see who's faster (and if Legend cheats a bit by using a Pegasus seed to run even faster no one will ever know), I can also see wind stealing the rabbit hood to race them.

The slingshot, I've noticed a lot of the Links have slingshots, Twilight has one, Sky has one that when upgraded shoots multiple seeds, Four has a slingshot (FSA), Time has a slingshot as well, Legend also has an upgraded slingshot (Hyper slingshot in OoS), potential for slingshot competitions, or their slingshots getting mixed up and due to being from different materials, sizes and qualities they have a hard time using the others slingshots. Twilight just casually pulls out the hawkeye to aim better and everyone laughs because he looks funny.

Magic boomerangs, basically most of them have regular boomerangs, however Legend (oracle games), Hyrule (Tloz 1), Four (MC) have a magic boomerang and Twilight has a magic wind boomerang (it has the wind fairy inside, why does no one ever talk about that).

Fishing rods, Time, Wind (Phantom Hourglass) and Twi can go regular fishing while Wild just bombs the hell out of the river.

Explosives, okay, hear me out, plenty of links have bombchus (Legend in OoA, Wind in PH, Time), Four has remote bombs (MC) like Wild, Twilight has bomblings (similar to bombchus but they're insect like) and underwater bombs, Time also has the Blast mask (MM) the destructive explosion potential of these guys (without counting the bombos medallion).

Arson gang, I know we usually think Wild and Wind are the arsonists, mainly because wind likes mischief and Wild is just Wild, and Four gets incorporated sometimes thanks to red and his fire rod (I'm just saying, I fully believe Four himself as a compound of the colours has potential to be a little shit and an arsonist, no red influence needed), but Legend has like 2 fire rods at least (alttp, albw), a magic rod that works like fire and the fire gloves, how is that dude not considered a part of the arsonist gang please, he's such a little shit as well no matter how much sarcasm and broodiness he's surrounded by, also, twilight literally blew up a bomb storage by setting fire to the place during his adventure, just saying... Hyrule can join with his own magic rod as a treat. And also, let Time join with Din's Fire, he was a menace in the war of ages, let him be a menace as a grown up. It turns out Warriors has a fire rod, he can join the arson activities to release stress. All links are arsonists confirmed.

Magnetism, hear me out, Wild has magnesis, Twi has the ball & chain (metal) and iron boots (magnetic), Time and Wind have iron boots as well (also magnetic), legend has his magnet gloves and Four has magnet gloves and in addition he IS magnetic (the logic behind that is besides me, maybe it's related to the elemental magic he has or something). The potential por Wild and/or Legend suddenly finding out Four is magnetic in the most anticlimactic and hilarious way (accidentally attracting him with their abilities). Wild using magnesis to mess around with Wind, Twi and Time when they have the boots on or using it to carry them around or get them places and obviously Wild using magnesis to steal the ball and chain from Twi. I've been told Warriors also has a chain & ball, wild definitely will mess with it when he fails at stealing it from Twi.

Legend and Four use flippers to swim and I think it's hilarious that Legend has apparently never learnt to swim because he used them in all his adventures, apparently Four can in fact swim in FS so he did learn how to swim in the end. Those two would drown without them. Also, I think Twi, Sky, Time and Wild are the only ones that know how to swim without any extra gear (they get things for breathing under water like the Zora armour or Water dragon Scale or Zora scale, or swim faster and climb up waterfalls in wild's case) wind knows how to swim but he gets no extra gear. Technically the only ones who can't swim and don't have gear to swim are Hyrule (yes, the guy who uses a raft to cross rivers) and Wars (I need people to not automatically give him swimming abilities unless I'm missing something from Hyrule Warriors).

Digging. There's Links who have used shovels, Legend has used one in the oracle games, Wind has one in Phantom hourglass and then two links have digging mitts with different capacities (Four and his mole mitts, Sky and his mogma mitts). Imagine you're just casually digging up something with a shovel meanwhile one buddy of yours is digging up a cave and the other one is digging tunnels underground, I particularly find it hilarious that it's both Links who have adventures above the clouds who have the best digging abilities. Four also has a shovel but the mitts are just superior.

And now, one of those things that further confirm the characters that can use light magic, Legend, Time, Wind and Four use light arrows in their adventures, in addition Legend, Time and Wind use fire and ice arrows. Hyrule just said "fuck you" and used silver arrows because he's just that cool.

I want Legend, Four and Sky to cause mayhem with their gust jars and gust bellows respectively, bonus points if Wind joins with his Deku leaf and Wild just pulls a deku leaf of his as well.

Hammer gang, Legend, Four, Wind and Time have hammers and Hyrule has a glove specifically for smashing blocks, they could be menaces. (Also, consider Four and even Legend have extra practice with hammers from being in the forge, they would be terrifying with a hammer). Bonus points for Time just casually lifting whole as columns and slamming them on the ground. It seems Warriors has a hammer as well, he can join the hammer gang.

Also, can you imagine the reaction of the guys who have a simple hookshot (Time, Wind, Legend, Warriors) to Twilight and Sky's double hook shots.

Final thing is, imagine in order to get up a ledge Hyrule casually pulls out the stepladder, wild starts climbing (they're used to that at least), and four makes a whole in the ground with a shovel and uses the cane of pacci to shoot himself upwards, then Legend says fuck it and pulls out the tornado rod. There's so much potential for fun moments in fics or full on crackfics.

[radishearts]

Kotlc enjoyers I am back with another silly AU

University AU where the Neverseen is a cafe on campus with constantly changing owners that may or may not be running a money laundering scheme.

Some alternate versions and a little ramble underneath

OKAY so I think this au would be best as a SOCMED type of au, the current name I have for it is Flame grilled (haha great pun in there). My current tag line is ‘he was a burger flipper she was a vegan can I make it anymore obvious?’. That being Brant (Uni drop out and aspiring artist) and Jolie a junior reporter trying to find her big story break. She originally protests the Neverseen for not being vegan friendly but ends up finding about the money laundering under the new owner. All the while Umber, who runs the Neverseen twitter account is trying to spin their relationship into a romance to spur customers into eating at their failing cafe (mostly so she doesn’t have to go job hunting).

[snake-bytez]

Trying to nail down a consistent Jimmy design which is hard bc this guy is always changing I swear– /lh

Anyways this is the only sketch I like so here's a Last Life Jim

I genuinely have no idea how this guy's hair works bc most of the images I see it's just parted in a whole other way lmaooo

Regular Bytez flavored ramble below break!!

Anyways, I know Last Life's logo isn't slots but hm... What if... It was- Bc like, amount of lives was by chance and the whole Boogeyman thing was by chance too so-

Anyway, off track. Now to continue with my bullshit.

Codfather flipper ears change color based on Jim's life. The wings are just like... Pasted there and he didn't know about it until someone pointed them out. They become actual wings next season in Double Life but are too small to do much with :( The face feathers don't really spread, it matches my Grian design in the way that to an outside view, they could all pass as avian, but they actually don't look anything like avians (maybe I'll post my "Watcher failing at making a bird man" vs actual avians design comparisons some day)

I like incorporating things from other series into Life Series designs (and other way around too!!) so [EDIT]Last[Not Limited!!]Life, Jim's got Codfather traits, and Double Life he has Sheriff's blue bandana (which has a heart on it, which is his life indicator too :] ). I haven't decided what to put where for other seasons bc I'm not actually an avid Jimmy viewer.... Sue me /j /lh

[hometoursandotherstuff]

Flipper Fails & Foibles: This is a video by an inspection company that warns buyers that if you buy a flipped house, you MUST have it inspected. Check out this weird electrical situation.

[ceo-of-sloppy-women]

No grave can hold my body down; I'll crawl home to her

Chapter 14

read it on ao3

Chapter 16

When morning finally calls you back to consciousness, you wake with Sevika’s arm wrapped around you, holding you tenderly to her chest. You can feel her lips pressed to the back of your neck, a soft, relaxed smile stuck to your skin. Sinking into the moment, you are at ease for the first time in nine years, protected on all four walls guarding the most dangerous woman in Zaun. You rest your hand overtop of hers, slowly lacing your fingers with hers, taking what you can like a starving dog.

Sevika must feel the shift in states, as a moment later she’s yawning against the scruff of your neck. Your hand tenses, worried she’ll pull back, heart thundering in your chest. Yet, her arm remains firmly wrapped around you, thumb now stroking back and forth across your stomach.

“Mornin’, sunshine,” Sevika hums, her voice full of gravel from slumber.

“Did you sleep okay?” you ask, resting your eyes in the safety of her watch.

“’Course I did, I –“

A loud crash sounds from downstairs, and both of you bolt up in bed. It’s a mad scramble for pants and socks, feet thundering down the stairs as your hand tenses over your holster. Both of you fearing the same thing: infected.

Sevika’s around the corner first, freezing when a kid loudly shouts her name, giggling happily. You run right into her back due to the sudden stop, nose colliding with hard muscle. Pulling back, you rub your nose with a cranky groan. Sitting in the kitchen are Jinx and Isha, with Isha covered in pancake batter (flour mostly, if you’re being honest) and Jinx holding a flipper, a mess of pancakes already in the pan.

“What are you two doing?” Sevika sighs heavily, like she’s on the verge of scolding a misbehaving child.

“Making you breakfast, duh! Isha wanted pancakes, and then she wanted to share them with you two, so we came here,” Jinx says innocently, as if she hadn’t just broken into someone’s house.

“Why couldn’t you just have invited us over?” Sevika grumbles, straightening out her shirt as Isha launches herself at her. She catches Isha effortlessly, holding the kid on her hip. “You know, instead of teaching the kid to break into people’s houses.”

“Because this way, you can’t say no,” Jinx states matter-of-factly, flipping the pancakes. One of them smears against the pan, making a bigger mess. “Oh, maybe that one wasn’t ready.”

“She has a point, Sev’,” you butt in, walking around Sevika to help Jinx so she doesn’t make a worse mess of your kitchen.

“Don’t agree with her! You’re supposed to be on my side!” Sevika sputters, standing in the living room, flabbergasted.

You shrug: “I want pancakes.”

Sevika groans half-heartedly, trying to put on a show more than anything. You can see it plainly written on her face; you’ve already won her over. Just as she opens her mouth to argue further, Isha taps her on the shoulder, getting her attention.

Isha signs, her eyebrows raised upwards, an anticipatory smile on her face: “Can we draw together? Please?”

Unable to sign back as her only hand is holding Isha, Sevika nods her head and says “okay” as clearly as she can.

Isha grins, clapping her hands and squirming until Sevika puts her down. Then she runs off to grab some paper from the coffee table, stuffing a purple crayon in Sevika’s hand. Sevika chuckles, sitting cross-legged at the coffee table and accepting the paper Isha gives her. Isha rapid signs at Sevika, who does her best to keep up with the kid, asking her to repeat what she doesn’t catch the first time. Isha, happy someone’s playing with her, continues until Sevika understands completely.

“Hey, love-sick, you going to help or not?” Jinx demands after failing to flip another pancake.

Snapped out of your lovesick stupor you turn around, face flushed and take the spatula from her. “Let me do this; you can layout the spreads and syrups.”

“If you want to fail at pancakes, be my guest,” Jinx surrenders immediately, turning around to root through the cabinets.

“I’m going to be the one cleaning up the mess afterwards anyway,” you point out, managing to flip a pancake without ruining it.

“Hey, we’ll help clean up, I won’t leave you with this mess. Not after Isha dropped the flour – not a lot of it, but if you wonder why there’s white handprints everywhere, she’s to blame.”

“Oh? Pinning your butterfingers on a kid now, Jinx?” you tease her.

“Dodging the fact you’re head over heels for my aunt now?” Jinx counters, grinning like the cat that ate the canary.

“Hey!” you hiss, shooting a glare at her.

“Oh, shit you’re not even denying it,” Jinx whispers, staring at you with an open mouth. “You’re fucked, bottle-rocket. Good thing I like you already, otherwise, I would make you go through a grueling trial before I kept your secret for you. But fear not! I shall keep your secret safe and sound.”

“Thanks,” you mumble, ducking your head to focus on the pancakes.

“Don’t mention it!” Jinx giggles, grabbing a wet cloth to clean up the floury mess she’s made all across the kitchen.

By the time you’ve finished cooking the pancakes, Jinx has cleaned up the whole kitchen, making it shine (as best as it can in the apocalypse, at least). Sevika manages to drag Isha away from the coffee table long enough to get a plate in front of her. Isha stops whining the moment she’s presented with sweet, fluffy pancakes, scarfing down at least six (you’re not sure where she puts them all in her tiny body, but you’re not about to stop her; there are a lot of pancakes). Somehow, Jinx manages to wrangle Isha into helping with dishes, the kitchen cleaner than you’d left it by the time the four of you part ways. Jinx is off taking Isha to school, and Sevika’s trailing behind you like a lost puppy as you head to the printing shop. You vow to do laundry that night (hopefully), but today you need clean clothes.

As you walk in the store, you nearly run smack into Grayson. Thankfully, she moves at the last moment and the two of you share an awkward laugh.

“You are now the proud owner of a printing press. Make something good,” she teases you, winking as she slips out the shop. “I’ve got orders to fill, so if there’s any problems come find me!”

“Thank you!” you call after her as she walks off into the slowly thickening crowd of commuters.

“Need help?” Sevika asks, lingering in the doorway as if she’s still not sure whether she’s allowed inside.

“As if I’d say no,” you giggle, pulling her inside. “Come on, I’ll need someone to help me figure out what to print first.”

“Make it something useful – basic first aid or survival skills. Something we can print a lot of to get a hang of the press,” Sevika suggests, following you into the back.

“You’re so smart; what would I do without you?” you ask, beaming up at her as you hold the door to the press room open.

“You’d have come up with it yourself,” Sevika shrugs, stepping past you.

“Maybe, maybe not – who knows? Who cares? You’re here with me now, and that’s much better than doing all this myself. I wouldn’t even have gotten to this part by myself, I’d probably be dead to that horde back when you found me,” you say, taking in the (slightly underwhelming) sight of the printing press.

It’s gorgeously crafted, with carvings in the legs and as accurate to the design as possible. Yet, after weeks of waiting, it felt more like a mute point. You’re anticipating the process far more than the press itself, so you set to work figuring out how to get started rather than staring in awe at the truly gorgeous creation Grayson has delivered to your workshop. Besides, everything pales in comparison next to Sevika.

Together, the two of you spend the next eight hours printing pamphlets, getting covered in ink, and giggling – genuinely, actually giggling. You stop short the first time you hear it escape Sevika’s lips, floored at the beauty of her smile. Your heart swells in your chest, craving to kiss her tender lips – to take her right there and then on the workbench. Yet, you carry on, tucking away your beating heart in the name of art. There’s a time and place to swoon over her, even if that swooning won’t get you farther than a few wayward looks. You’ve come to terms with that. It doesn’t make it hurt any less.

When the sun’s finally setting, Sevika drags you out of the shop and to the grocery store. You pick up something easy to make, taking it home and stumbling through the door, already stoned from the walk over. Sevika had acquired new joints from God knows where, grinning as you tried to drag her sources out of her. No such luck.

“Alright, strip,” she demands the moment you step inside.

“What?” you squeak, face flushing scarlet.

“We need to wash your clothes; it’s disgusting at this point. You get dinner ready and I’ll wash ‘em for you,” Sevika explains, holding out her hand impatiently.

“Oh, right,” you giggle nervously, glancing upstairs at your bedroom. “Here, take this –“ you had her dinner – “I’ll be right back.”

“Be quick,” she grunts, disappointment flickering behind her eyes. You brush it off and race upstairs.

Ten minutes later, you’re standing in her shirt, preparing tacos as she fusses with an old washing machine. In solidarity, she’s stripped down and tossed her clothes in as well, wearing nothing but a white tank top and a pair of plaid pyjama pants now. You admire her back tattoo, wanting to ghost your fingers over it, yet you’re covered in salsa, so you let the feeling pass you by. For now, you lean into the quiet domestic life with her, wrapped up in the gentle current of the universe

Clean clothes have never felt better. You’d nearly forgotten what they felt like all together, but nothing beat the next morning when you slipped into a freshly washed pair of jeans and a bra that wasn’t stiff with grime. Well, almost nothing – it couldn’t beat waking up with Sevika’s arm thrown across your chest, a small puddle of drool soaking into the shirt she’d lent you. As if the universe has finally fallen into place around you, and all you have to do is linger within it.

Unfortunately, Sevika doesn’t join you in the print shop that day. Vander arrives at the house in the early hours of the morning to request Sevika’s help with the windmill. You had almost forgotten about the project! Frankly, you were taken aback that it wasn’t done yet; after all, it has been a little more than four weeks now. Though you supposed building a brand new structure, and all of the pieces that go within it takes far longer when you have to do everything by hand (and can’t import pieces from other sites).

Craving fresh bread made from properly ground flour, you don’t even put up a fight for Sevika’s help. You can work alone if it means the next bun you eat isn’t a little gritty.

Your sacrifice leads to the loss of Sevika’s help for the remainder of the week. It isn’t all bad – Jinx and Isha do stop by occasionally to “help out,” but neither were really all that much help. Mostly, Isha sat on the floor colouring, and Jinx rambled about all the fun things you were missing out on cooped up inside. At least it gave you a distraction while you printed the same thing over and over again – you’d moved past survival pamphlets and onto your first attempt at a book, deciding to reprint the novel you were reading the night Sevika had come to you. Hopefully, Grayson will be satisfied with your selection… but printing a novel meant you had to print several copies of the same page over and over again, fussing over spacing and trying to ensure you had the words spelled correctly. All while Jinx tried to steal pages to read them for herself. In the end, you had to keep two bookmarks in the book, one for your work and one for her reading, as she got far too invested while you were making endless copies of the pages.

Slowly, the quiet rhythm of life began to crawl back into your heart, and you melted into the normalcy that used to pervade your life before the apocalypse. It felt good to finally have the rhythm back – it had tried to return while Sevika was injured but never quite stuck after everything that happened afterwards. Finally, it felt like it’s here to stay; a realization you came to in the middle of printing the heartfelt love confession, swooning over the words as Jinx read them aloud in her giggling mockery that gave away how into the plot she actually was.

Before you headed home for the night, you stopped by the grocery store to pick up something special: steak, baked beans, potatoes and carrots. A dish reminiscent of the first night you cooked for her. You’re giggling to yourself as you pick out a new steak rub, indulging your creativity as you grab a stick of butter. By the time you’ve got everything you need, the basket is nearly overflowing (you might have grabbed an expensive bottle of whiskey and some candles too).

Rocking back and forth on your feet in the grocery line, a voice pipes up behind you: “What’s got you so excited?”

You spin around to see Salo behind you, staring at you with a knowing smile, Mel holding his shopping for him.

“Salo! It’s been too long; how have you been? You haven’t given yourself food poisoning again, have you?”

Salo scoffs and rolls his eyes, his smile refusing to budge an inch. “Occupational hazard. I should be asking you how you’ve been; no one’s seen you all week, except for Jinx claiming she visits you every day in this new… print shop?”

“Oh,” you chuckle nervously and rub the back of your neck. “I guess I’ve been so hard at work I haven’t taken the time for myself. Jinx isn’t wrong; I do have a print shop, though we’re not open yet. I’ve got to get two more books printed before I open my doors, so I have something for all ages.”  

“Please let me know when you are ready; I would love to make a larger announcement to the community on your behalf,” Mel interjects, drawing your attention to her. She holds out her hand: “I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Mel. Jayce has told me quiet a bit about you.”

You firmly shake her hand, introducing yourself. “I’ve heard about you too – probably not as much as you’ve heard of me. I’d love the help, a little foot traffic would do the shop wonders when I’m ready to open the doors.”

“Excellent. Have you considered collaborating with any local authors to print their works?”

“I have –“ you begin to place your groceries on the counter for the clerk – “I’m not quite sure how to find them, but when I open, I hope to take applications. Printing is a long process; I want to make sure everyone gets a fair chance to have their work printed.”

“A very good idea. I can work with you to connect with local authors; perhaps you could print one of their books as your remaining two.”

“That – that might actually help me decide. If you find anyone willing to work with me, send them down the street, please.”

“Of course.”

You leave the grocery store with a beaming smile on your face as you rush through the evening crowd to get home. Thankfully, Sevika hasn’t made it back yet, so you still have time to roll up your sleeves and get to work. The old cast-iron pan is put to use to sear the steaks as you toss the potatoes in the oven with the pot of beans. The carrots steam in a pot in the far corner of the stove. Everything is given a hefty helping of honey (and other seasonings) to bring out your desired flavours. As things cook, you set the kitchen up around you, lighting candles, setting the whiskey bottle near two glasses, and making sure there wasn’t any dirt on the floor. You’ve even dragged Sevika’s boombox downstairs, plugging it in and tuning it to a local radio station – you’d overheard a group of friends talking about it in the grocery store and wanted to tune in for its first broadcast. So far the music is energizing, painting the kitchen in bright colours that compliment the heavenly scent of your cooking.

You’re so focused on the task at hand and the music that you don’t hear the backdoor swing open, or the footsteps behind you. Until a hand wraps around your waist, her chest against your back, head pressed into her breasts. You squeak loudly, jerking your head up to see Sevika’s sly smile staring back at you.

“Smells heavenly, sugar,” she hums, making you swallow thickly.

“You’ve gotta be louder, I didn’t even hear you come in,” you stammer, trying to make sure you don’t burn the steaks.

Sevika snorts: “That’s not my fault. I even said your name when I came in, you were just too invested in all this to notice.”

“Oh…” you’re thankful she towers over you so she can’t see the way your face flushes in embarrassment. God. This kind of obliviousness would get you killed these days.

“What ya cookin’ anyway? Smells heavenly,” Sevika continues, oblivious to your sudden embarrassment.

“Steak and baked potatoes,” you admit sheepishly.

“Just like the first night, hm? You trying to tell me something?”

“What would I be trying to tell you?”

“I don’t know, but you should write these recipes down; makes the whole house smell divine. Could turn it into a cookbook for your print shop.”

Your head still spins from what she could have possibly meant earlier, so all you manage is a sheepish head nod. You don’t have the faintest idea of what she’s insinuating – it’s not as if you wanted to do anything more than celebrate the good week you’ve had. It’s not as if anything really happened, beyond Grayson flirting with you, that first day. You’d only made steak so that Sevika would talk to you again! Did she think you were mad at her? Oh, God, have you pathologized her with cooking to make her think steak means she’s done something wrong?

“Hey, you even paying attention?” Sevika asks, pulling you out of your mental doom spiral.

“Huh? What?”

“Don’t space out on me now; you’ll burn the steak,” Sevika chuckles. “I said they’re holding a barn dance in a few days to celebrate the new windmill.”

“We should go,” you say immediately, reaching for a plate for the steaks. Sevika grabs one and passes it to you.

“If you want. I usually don’t go to these things, can’t really dance,” Sevika shrugs, giving you space to plate the food.

“All the more reason we should go – you’ve worked hard to help them put on the finishing touches. You deserve a chance to appreciate your own work,” you insist, carrying the dishes out to the table on the back porch.

“You’re just saying that because you want to go,” Sevika points out, taking a seat at the table. The clatter of silverware sings through the backyard as she sets them in the middle.

“Is that such a bad thing?” you ask, sitting down across from her.

Sevika merely grunts, shrugging her shoulders as she takes a steak from the serving platter.

The conversation dies away as the two of you pile your plates high and devour the delicious meal. You listen to Sevika’s day at work – all the dangerous chances she almost died yet unfortunately survived (in her opinion). She listens to your day at work and how Jinx giggled maniacally through the last few chapters of the novel. An air of domestic joy wraps around the two of you, even as you hurry to do the dishes and grab the whiskey off the counter. Sevika puts her feet up on the table – something you scold her half-heartedly for – swirling her whiskey before taking a sip. A contented sigh escapes her as she melts further into the porch swing. You tentatively lean against her shoulder until she pulls you closer, whiskey sloshing in the bottom of her glass so that you’re pressed up against her side.

“This is the life,” she hums, staring up at the stars.

“Certainly better than where I was this time ten years ago,” you scoff, taking a sip of your whiskey.

“Anything’s better than ten years ago. I could get eaten by infected tomorrow and it would still be better than that shit show.”

“Indeed,” you murmur, staring up at her as her face relaxes from a scowl back into the contented smile. Desperation bubbles up in your stomach, craving her lips. You barely manage to temper it down, sating yourself by tracing the line of her lips. Your eyes catch over the piercing at the bottom, tongue escaping to wet your lips as you stew in your own pleasant puddle of arousal.

Sevika, oblivious to your staring, takes a sip of whiskey and continues to watch the night sky. Finishing her glass, she sets it down and wraps her hand around your shoulder, thumb stroking your shoulder. No matter how desperately you crave her, you’re not ruining this friendship over an unrequited crush. You’ll spend eternity in this pleasant misery if you must.

Even if you wanted her thumb stroking somewhere far lower. At least you have the barn dance – maybe you can sway her toward seeing you in candlelight rather than the daylight.

[astbitesthedust]

Did any of y’all see RT’s performance in the Jerma985 house flipper competition, that man somehow rolled a 40 for charisma while playing with a D20, the bullshitting was off the charts, he got a 100% mark on cleanliness while but a few frames earlier there was boxes he failed to get rid of on screen, he convinced them paint buckets he left out were on purpose, he convinced them unpainted walls were part of the design, he convinced them a whole fucking garage that was completely untouched was intended because ‘In the original barbie playhouse the garage was sold separately, I’d have destroyed it if I could’, I watch this man regularly I have never seen such pure charisma and wit from him.

[1rubydoodles]

stanford is autistic-coded and that really affected his relationship with fiddleford (tbob spoilers)

(I want to start off saying I’m autistic and might rant about Arthur a bit here because it’s a 10+ year strong special interest and you just have to deal with it)

“another day, another failed social interaction.” (ford, the book of bill)

“when my waitress told me the apple pie was made ‘from scratch,’ I replied, ‘incredible! I must meet the chef who created the atoms!’ She made a face like she had tasted bleach and ended her shift early.”

I read this imagining ford smiling, expecting a laugh from the waitress. I know so many autistic people who make jokes like this, it really to me doesn’t seem much different from the jokes that people do like. Taking things and shifting their meaning. The children’s show Arthur put it best in the episode “When Carl Met George” (or, “Carl and the Missing Puzzle Piece”, definitely check it out, although it was made in 2010 so it uses an outdated term and has few stereotypes)

Basically in that episode, autism was described as George crash landing on an alien planet with no instructions.

here’s some of the transcript:

“(narrator): …And even though you speak the same language, you sometimes have a hard time understanding what they mean.

Francine (as alien): Good night for a banana fight, right?

George: Um, yes? No! I don't know!”

Arthur (as alien) walks up to them wearing flippers, a tutu, a huge bow tie and a hat of whipped cream with a cherry. His outfit is absolutely ridiculous.

“(narrator): and things that seem hilarious to you…

George: (laughs)

 (narrator): ...aren't funny at all to them.

Arthur (as alien): What's he laughing at? Is it my nose?

Francine (as alien): I have no idea. You're weird!

Francine and Arthur walk off.

George: But it was a joke, right? Oh.”

this basically describes the situation perfectly. on top of that, I know of autistic men that seem like they are being aggressive or sarcastic to women when they make these jokes, most likely what happened during this dining incident. (which, honestly, women go through a lot of shit with men and I don’t blame them if they assume the worst.)

But let’s go to fidds and fords relationship. (romantic or not.)

I’ve seen so many fiddlestan posts shaming ford for what are just autistic qualities to justify their ship being superior. (ex. One post said “stan recognized when fidds was distressed unlike SOME people” in a fanfic, which is both shaming ford and pretty uncanon seeming)*

I really don’t think ford realized fidds wasn’t ok until it all fell apart. he closest he goes is basically “fidds seems jittery from the whole shapeshifter thing so we can just relax and that will fix it.” I think it’s a common autistic mentality that “if this happens I can fix it with this, and that will solve the problem.”

many people on the spectrum have logical systematic thinking and a preference for clear rules with predictable outcomes.

I think that’s the closest ford ever got to thinking that something was wrong.

I think he never realized fidds was actually going insane. All he thought was that he was going to betray him because of Bill and that black ring.

“it became clear how deeply I had hurt this man I once held so dear.”(ford, journal 3)

I really think he held onto the thought that fidds betrayed him. autistic people are also a lot of times easier to manipulate due to challenges in seeing deception, probably why bill saw him as an easy target.

but of course, fidds in the end with his big heart and amazing mind forgave ford. i’m almost positive he knew ford thought different.

and probably got fiddle𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 with him later

Edit: I should mention that the whole “I’ve seen so many fiddlestan posts shaming ford for what are just autistic qualities. (ex.“stan recognized when fidds was distressed unlike SOME people”)” is just a common type of thing I see in fiddlestan posts and fanfics. I really doubt that Stan WOULD do that, but fiddlestan shippers are a whole different breed ig. Edited again for clarity on the same thing

[veinsfullofstars]

Okay I've seen it mentioned a couple times now but I gotta ask.....

what's the Library Turtle?

Oh? Would you perhaps be referring to-

-known more colloquially as the Library Turtle? Well, I'm glad you asked!

In the CFAU, it’s a little interstellar lending library that travels all around the local star system, collecting, trading, and sharing a wide assortment of books, magazines, music, and other sources of knowledge and entertainment between the various interplanetary communities. The elderly duo that owns the library have been running it for quite some time, visiting Popstar in particular few times a month. As for the proprietors themselves…

First, we have the lovely Ms. Paige, a tiny owl-like lady with a witchy aesthetic and a grandmotherly disposition, as patient and wise as you’d expect given her librarian title (as long as you don’t damage her books, that is). A former teacher and very well-traveled, she is a wealth of general knowledge and information, always happy to answer questions when she can or, barring that, to find the book that will. (She also has a bit of a weakness for gossip, even if she won’t admit it.) On occasion, she’ll regale the children with a story or two, folktales and epics and even anecdotes from her own travels (though, few tend to believe such fantastical yarns). She’s also rather spry for her age, often seen carrying improbably tall stacks of books without breaking a sweat. She claims it’s because she always remembers to eat her greens, or exercise regularly, or get a good amount of sleep every day. The answer seems to vary each time she’s asked about it.

We also have the illustrious Sir Apple Tortsworth IV, Esq. - or Sir Tort for short - a large tortoise-like creature who co-owns the library with Paige. He is an easygoing old man of few words and fewer hurries, perfectly content to take the twilight years of his life at a leisurely pace (even if others don’t always meet him at his speed). On land, he stands on four sturdy legs, while, in the air, he transforms them into flippers that let him soar with grace and ease, even with the weight of a whole library on his shell (well… some of it, anyway). He’s happy to chat when prompted, his words thoughtful and eloquent, but he generally prefers to sit back and observe while Paige does the talking for them both. She claims that he’s actually quite the chatterbox when he wants to be (and a sassy one at that). Then again, she also claims that he was once a highly-decorated knight. And a certified lawyer. And a four-star chef. He’s yet to confirm or deny any of these claims. Mostly he just smiles and sleepily admires the scenery, humming old songs from his youth.

The kids love when the Library Turtle comes to visit the village, even the ones not so inclined to reading. As interesting as their homeland can be, there's something exciting about learning what goes on in the cosmos beyond. Paige never fails to find something to interest them, even if it's just another one of her famously tall tales. And Sir Tort is more than happy to listen when one of them has news to share or just needs an ear to confide in. And, whenever the kids have questions about anything - their home, the world beyond Popstar, their families and neighbors, even the two of them - Paige and Sir Tort always make time to answer to the best of their abilities.

Sketch started 01/09/25, sketch finished 01/14/25. | Childhood Friends AU Masterpost

[jadeazora]

Quite a long read below, but I have to admire the dedication to the meme 😂

Feeling blue? It’s because there’s too much water. Your mood can turn gray on rainy days. From a broader perspective, water is the cause of all the world’s woes. All life exists on land. It is where Pokémon hatch from their Eggs. Where they train, battle, and evolve. It’s the source of the Berries that heal and sustain them. Even the mighty Mudkip, Hoenn’s beloved Water-type first partner Pokémon, sees a limited future for itself in water. Why else would it evolve into the Water- AND Ground-type Marshtomp?

Deep down, we all recognize the dangers of water. Land rhymes with grand. Boom! Roasted. Speaking of which, you can’t roast anything in water, and roasting is one of the five best cooking methods—but back to water’s imminent dangers. Even a puddle can ruin someone’s day, so the only safe amount of water is none. While humans fall victim to technology, turning away from nature’s sanctity, Pokémon remain deeply connected to nature. And Pokémon know that water is dangerous; why else would Dragonite dedicate its precious time to flying over immense stretches of sea to rescue people from drowning? How far have we sunk morally that this noble Pokémon must exhaust itself rescuing humans from this dire threat when there is an alternative solution at hand?

If we’re being honest—which the anti-water faction can afford to be with the advantage of facts and Groudon on our side—water tastes terrible. There’s an entire line of products specifically designed to enhance its flavor. It’s worth noting that there are no products to enhance the flavor of earth, because it tastes fine exactly the way it is. If you were thirsty in the middle of the ocean, what would you do with all that water? Clearly, the deranged water apologists bent on marinating us all in this deadly liquid have failed to accurately assess the threat that it poses to humans and Pokémon alike.

It’s no accident that many sports and leisure activities are devoted to avoiding the water. Boats are the most common method of traversing the stuff, and yet their entire purpose is to help you stay dry. Surfboards, jet skis, wetsuits, and even ridable Pokémon like Lapras, Mantine, and Basculegion are all indicative of humanity’s natural and entirely logical aversion to water. In reality, you can enjoy all these activities on land. Sandboarding is every bit as thrilling as surfing. And from a purely fashionable perspective, life vests and flippers ruin any ensemble. Of course, to each his own. Who am I to judge if someone likes the frayed shorts and bandana look? As a person whose style is impeccable, though, I’m much more aware of how important it is to look your best.

Like any person of reasonable logic, I could pontificate on the many dangers, drawbacks, and downsides of water for longer than Groudon’s subterranean slumber, but I have responsibilities elsewhere. I hope I have managed to plant the seeds of doubt concerning this insidious substance. Should you decide to take up our cause, you know where to find me.

Seeing red? You probably need more water. Irritability is a proven side effect of dehydration. There’s no problem that can’t be solved by water. Water is life. Without it, there would be no Magikarp struggling heroically to overcome the limitations of its biology, inspiring us all with its courage. No surfing Pikachu lifting spirits with its gnarly moves. No Squirtle, and certainly no Squirtle Squad. Eager young Pokémon Trainers would visit Professor Birch, excited to meet the Mudkip that would become their first partner on their Pokémon journey, only to find an empty Poké Ball.

What’s so great about land, anyway? There’s a reason land rhymes with bland. You know what isn’t bland? Soup. Everyone knows soup is the epitome of culinary ambition and delight, and what is soup if not seasoned water? If only being bland were the land’s only crime. Land is dangerous—volcanoes, quicksand, drought, and so forth. You know what extinguishes volcanoes, liquefies quicksand, and ends drought? Water. In fact, Kyogre, that magnificent master of aquatic realms, is known to save people suffering the effects of droughts. Without the parched, overrated land, the world and its many beautiful Pokémon would never know the horrors of another drought.

If the land is so safe, explain shoes. While swimming or otherwise interacting with water, we shed our footwear, instinctively wanting to maximize our physical contact with water. When walking on land, though, we wear shoes, acknowledging the inherent danger and uncleanliness of the earth. It’s not unreasonable to theorize that any pro-land faction is secretly funded and driven by Big Footwear.

If land is so wonderful, explain the existence of swimming pools. What are these giant, land-bound containers if not an expression of humankind’s yearning for the soothing, invigorating embrace of that life-giving liquid? Similarly, we embark on cruises because we long for the sea. Without water, we would forever lose the majesty of jet skis, gliding as effortlessly as Lapras. Snorkeling, kayaking, diving, windsurfing, wakeboarding, and water polo would all cease to exist without water. Water aerobics, which we can all agree embodies the nobility of the human spirit and incredible capability of the human body, relies entirely on the presence of water. Without it, we would be left with just aerobics—a pale and paltry imitation.

Finally—our bodies are roughly 60% water. Without it, we would be dried, unrecognizable husks, which is an accurate description of anyone unfeeling enough to dismiss the beauty and wonder of soup, the sea, jet skis, Squirtle, and our existence. Long live the water. I hope these arguments have sufficiently piqued your interest and whet your appetite for knowledge about the benefits and necessity of water.

Article here.