#for example i did all the analysis and was very proud of myself until the questions came in

[youreamonocoque]

Exams are getting worse!

[thisgirllovespasta]

My Background and Analysis

Okay girlies, it's finally time for me to tell my story.

I first discovered Tumblr in 2011 when I was 9 years old. The original reason I was even on the internet to begin with was because one of my best friends introduced me to the world of Webkinz YouTube (Webkinz as in the stuffed animals, YouTube as in the video website, Webkinz Youtube as in pre-teen girls making YouTube videos about their Webkinz. It was my whole life back then) and a huge thing within the "KinzTube" community was making aesthetically pleasing Tumblrs and following each other on there. It was harmless and fun for a while, until one day I stumbled upon the pro-ana community.

I don't remember how I got there, though I do know it wasn't intentional. All I remember was my 9 year old eyes scanning the screen and taking in the thigh gaps, sunken in eyes, and prominent collarbones. I remember feeling sick from this, and closing the tab with immense guilt.

That was all for a while. I never ventured to pro-ana land for a long time after that. Unfortunately, despite this, my mind was permanently scarred with the images I had seen. After that fateful day, not an hour went by that I didn't think about my body, and the bodies of the girls I had seen on Tumblr. However, I did not adopt any disordered eating habits or behaviours for a few more years. I remained an avid Tumblr user, but I avoided pro-ana land like the plague.

Fast forward a few years to 2014: eighth grade, 12 years old. I have a distinct memory of being in the bathroom at my beloved Nan's house and noticing a stack of 'Prevention' magazines on the top of the toilet. I began to scan through the stack, reading the headlines on the covers: "tips to lose weight and keep it off!", "surefire diets for a slim waist!", "exercises to burn fat fast!", amongst other grabby catchphrases (see below for an example).

Reading through these magazines lit a fire within me that had been threatening to ignite since the very first time I laid eyes on "thinspo". I grabbed as many magazines as my little hands could carry, brought them into my bedroom, and spent hours reading about "moves that slim".

From that moment on, the fire within me burned bright and strong.

I cannot recall a singular moment since that day where I have not been consumed by my eating disorder.

When I was 15, my girlfriend at the time (who suffered from anorexia as well) brought up to me that they were worried about me and thought I had anorexia, to which I replied, "I am definitely not sick, I'm literally eating Subway right now!"

I was formally diagnosed at 16 by a psychiatrist that my school guidance counsellor practically begged me to visit. My mom had a session with the psychiatrist first, and told her about all the concerns she had regarding my eating, to which I responded "I don't have an eating disorder, I eat candy all the time!" The psychiatrist and my mom didn't accept my lies, and I was told that I had anorexia nervosa. My mom told my favourite teacher this, and I was monitored during lunch to make sure I was eating. This was much to my chagrin because my go-to was to "eat lunch" in the bathroom alone.

I had no intention of getting better until I was 18. I spent all of high school revelling in my disease. I loved it. My anorexia was like an old friend to me. She was someone who I could always count on, someone who made me feel completely in control, someone who made me feel proud and satisfied.

I lost my pre-teen years to my anorexia. I lost my teenage years to anorexia. And I am trying with every fibre of my being not to lose my young adult years to anorexia too.

And do you want to know why it was so easy for me to lose myself in my disease? Because ED culture is EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK!

A show I watched religiously since age 12, Modern Family, is a perfect example of how ED culture is perpetuated by television shows. There are so many examples of one of the main characters, Haley, casually bringing up ED behaviours, and absolutely nothing coming from it.

In season 4 episode 11, Haley says "my whole life is a hunger game, why do you think I'm so mean to you all the time?" is a quote engrained in my memory from this show.

Haley is portrayed as the young, hot, popular girl. Basically everything I ever wanted to be as a young person. A key element to her character is her eating disorder, though it is never actually named or talked about other than in the form of jokes.

Another example is my absolute favourite show of all time, Schitt's Creek. The character, Alexis, is much like Haley; framed as the hot, fashionable, bimbo. In season 2 episode 6, she orders a piece of chocolate cake at the cafe, to which Twla, the waitress replies, "I'm just not used to you ordering solid food".

These are just two examples of countless scenarios in which TV show characters have disordered eating habits that are glossed over and used as comic relief.

Myself as well as so many other people from my generation were socialized into a world that treated women with such disregard, no wonder so many of us ended up anorexic.

In reflecting on my journey through the tumultuous landscape of eating disorder culture, it becomes evident that the seeds of my struggle were sown long before I even realized it. Each step of my journey was shaped by the strong influence of societal narratives about body image and beauty standards.

As I grappled with my own demons, I couldn't help but notice how casually eating disorder behaviours were portrayed in popular media, reinforcing harmful stereotypes and trivializing the severity of these illnesses. It's clear that our society has been socialized into a culture that places thinness and perfection above all else, often at the expense of our mental and physical well-beings.

But amidst the darkness, there is also hope. By sharing our stories and shedding light on the insidious nature of eating disorder culture, we can challenge the status quo and pave the way for a more compassionate and inclusive society. It is my fervent hope that by raising awareness and advocating for change, we can prevent future generations from falling victim to the same destructive forces that robbed me and so many others of youth.

As I continue on my journey towards recovery, I am reminded of the resilience of the human spirit and the power of solidarity in overcoming adversity. Together, we can dismantle the harmful narratives that perpetuate eating disorder culture and create a world where every individual is valued and accepted for who they are, regardless of their size or shape.

[traincat]

I’ve been trying to piece together a few things from your Twitter and Tumblr posts alike and still can’t make heads or tales of things, so would you mind helping out a FF & spideytorch noob? 1) what is currently happening with Johnny in the comics? (I’ve fallen head over heels for this guy, largely all your doing) 2) when’s the last time he and Peter have interacted, canon wise? (And do you think upcoming interactions are likely?) 3) your thoughts on if they’ll have him come out in the near future? (has that ‘biggest change to the fantastic four’ teaser come to pass yet?) Love all your content, thank you!

I'd say no problem but then I started thinking about this current run again and got a headache. But yes, I can do that to save you from reading it, because it is very largely not good.

So I don't think it's unfair to just flat out say the current Fantastic Four run is not very good, largely due to writer Dan Slott's efforts. Slott was previously on Amazing Spider-Man for 10 years, to mixed opinions, but a large portion of Spider-Man fandom, myself included, blames him near singlehandedly for the decline in quality of Spider-Man books over those ten years. I will say, in the interest of fairness, that Slott as a writer has an incredible fondness for the Spider-Man/Human Torch relationship, and that a lot of the recent teamups and interactions between them have been written or co-written by him. So it's all not all negative here. But in general, I personally find Slott's more recent comics (the last seven-ish years especially) to be badly plotted out, messily characterized disasters that feature characters written with all the emotion of a cardboard cutout. That's me putting it nicely.

To explain this fully, you have to understand the position Fantastic Four comics were in from the years 2015 through 2018, both in the fictional 616 universe and in the real publishing world. Following the 2015 Secret Wars event (great if you want some Johnny angst in the background of your plot), the Fantastic Four were disbanded -- Reed, Sue, and their many biological and found family children were presumed dead but in reality were remaking the multiverse, unable, for a reason that was never clearly defined, to reach home. Ben and Johnny were left on Earth. They had an unspecified falling out, likely due to Reed and Sue's absence, and went their separate ways -- Ben joined the Guardians of the Galaxy and went to space. Johnny was featured on both Inhumans and Avengers books. What's notable about this period is that it's the first time since 1961 that there was no Fantastic Four book being published by Marvel. Now the real world reason behind this is both complicated and extremely petty: Marvel really wanted the Fantastic Four film rights. Marvel denied this explanation at the time, stating that the reason was sales motivated, but it was a thoroughly flimsy excuse and Jonathan Hickman, writer of 2015's Secret Wars and overseer of the current X-Men plot, gave an interview saying the decision was film rights motivated. This decision kept the Fantastic Four books off the shelves for three years, up until the Disney-Fox merger, which secured the X-Men and Fantastic Four rights for Disney's Marvel Studios. Marvel then announced that the Fantastic Four book would be returning. So that's a little bit of background as to the precarious place the Fantastic Four currently occupy in the Marvel universe -- it's worth noting that this year is their 60th anniversary, and Marvel has done very little for it. Compare this to the X-Men, whose film rights Marvel also obtained during the Disney-Fox merger, and whose books are currently dominating the publishing lineup. The Fantastic Four definitely occupy an unpopular position, one Marvel themselves is at least partially responsible for forcing them into.

But to move back into the actual content of the book -- the readjustment period Slott wrote reintroducing the Fantastic Four into the Marvel universe can be described as clumsy, at best. It's never fully explained why Reed, Sue, and the kids couldn't return to Earth, something that was explored in Chip Zdarsky's 2017 Marvel Two-in-One, which featured Ben, Johnny, and Doom on a multiversal roadtrip to try and find their family and which I on the whole recommend, despite it having an awkward ending due to being cut short by Slott's announced Fantastic Four main title.

(Marvel Two-in-One 2017 #4)

Instead, the Fantastic Four return to a Marvel universe a little different than how they left it, with the Baxter Building -- formerly the offices of Parker Industries, the company Doc Ock started in Peter's body during Superior Spider-Man that Peter inherited after his defeat and then lost spectacularly when he trashed his own company to fight nazis (good for him) -- occupied by a different fantastic foursome in a plot that goes nowhere and does nothing. This is somewhat emblematic of the early days of Slott's run -- he introduces ideas that fail to go anywhere, including Johnny's rekindled relationship with his other best friend and former college roommate, Wyatt Wingfoot, who he was seen being very cuddly with in the early issues.

(FF 2018 #1) A small group of Fantastic Four fans have argued for a while that if Marvel was to have Johnny come out, a relationship with Wyatt would feel very natural -- they're already close, with Wyatt being an important Fantastic Four supporting character since the '60s. I have some further analysis here on the conspiracy theory that Johnny and Wyatt were supposed to be in relationship at the beginning of this run but that that plot was, for whatever reason, nixed. I don't know that I entirely believe this theory, for the record -- but I do think the pieces line up remarkably well.

Anyway, that didn't/hasn't yet happened, obviously. Slott instead for the most part put Johnny on the back burner for the beginning of his run, up until the Spyre arc, which I have reason to believe is the main story he pitched that he credits with securing him the Fantastic Four title. The Spyre arc suggests that the Fantastic Four's failed space exploration during which they got their powers wasn't just to beat the commies to the moon, as Lee and Kirby envisioned (simpler days), but to reach a specific planet outside of our galaxy. When the team sets out to conquer this mission, they arrive at the planet, but are quickly captured. The planet, they find out, operates like a soulmate AU -- everyone has a fated person that they are matched to via a gold armband. Reed and Sue are soulmates (and Ben is confined to an underground subterranean with the other monsters, because this is a Fantastic Four comic) while it's discovered! Shocker! That Johnny is actually the soulmate of the one the planet's inhabitants, a winged woman named Sky, with the suggestion that this is both why Johnny's previous relationships have never worked and why he loves space exploration -- he was just trying to get to his Soulmate TM.

(FF 2018 #15) "What's going on here? Where are my clothes?" As you can see, this didn't start off super great, with Johnny being separated from his family, stripped naked, and put in Sky's bed with a soulmate armband slapped on him. Did I mention they're only removable if your soulmate takes it off for you? And that Sky has consistently refused despite Johnny asking her to? Yeah. It's bad. (I think it's important to note Johnny's long history as a victim of assault plays into this narrative, whether or not Slott is personally holding that in mind while writing, which I don't believe he is. cw in the linked post for discussions of sexual assault.) There's an additional issue here in that Slott has a history of problematic writing regarding women of color, featuring characters he's created to act as love interests being oversexualized, infantilized, villainized, or some mix of all three, with two examples of this phenomena being Cindy Moon and Lian Tang, both of whom he introduced in quick succession in Amazing Spider-Man. Slott certainly didn't have to write Sky as manipulative or controlling towards Johnny, but that's what he chose to do, and that factors into the bigger picture of unfortunate themes in his writing.

Sky returns to Earth with the Fantastic Four despite Johnny appearing unenthused about the idea and initially generally reluctant to interact with her. Apparently they went on a few dates after this and kind of made up. I don't know because I stopped reading for about ten issues in there but I feel confident I missed very little. It's hard to talk about the Sky plot without referencing Johnny's previous interactions with a character named Lyja, a Skrull whose relationship to Johnny I have a long breakdown of here. It's doubly hard, because Lyja actually showed back up in Fantastic Four during this plot. Lyja's modus operandi has remained consistent throughout almost all of her appearances, which I guess makes sense, because she literally has no storylines that do not involve her being obsessed with Johnny, and this recent story isn't any different: Lyja shows up, Lyja disguises herself as another woman in Johnny's life to get close to Johnny, Lyja gets caught and claims it was all fine because she did it for love. This time she disguised herself as Sky.

(FF 2018 #32) Not gonna lie, kind of proud of him for this one. That's one of my problems with Slott -- very occasionally, he busts out good moments, only to undermine them with the rest of his narrative.

In the same issue, Alicia Masters, the first woman Lyja impersonated in order to get close to Johnny, uses her supervillain stepfather's radioactive clay to control Lyja's mind and send her back to space, and I do think she utilized girl power when she did this. Johnny, left reeling after Lyja's latest attempts to trick him into a relationship, ends this issue by sleeping with Victorious, Dr. Doom's right hand woman.

I know she pegged him. I know it. This scene was a little controversial in Johnny fandom, because a lot of people viewed it as Johnny cheating on Sky and thought that that action was out of character for Johnny. I'm personally of a little different opinion, which is that regardless of whether or not you view Johnny and Sky in a committed enough relationship that Johnny's tryst would count as infidelity when all Johnny and Sky are bound by are magic plot soulmate bracelets, I think Lyja's involvement changes things significantly when it comes to Johnny's characterization. All of Johnny's "playboy" periods, if we can call them that, coincide directly with Lyja having been in and then left his life again, which I think makes a certain amount of sense -- it's Johnny trying to wrest control back after a situation where he had none. None of this is explicitly canon, I have to note, but sometimes in comics you have to do the work yourself. So I think this is a case of something being accidentally extremely in character that Slott accidentally stumbled into because he had these love triangles in mind, not because he put a lot of thought into it.

Speaking of love triangles! Johnny sleeping with Victorious gets more complicated when Dr. Doom announces his intent to marry Victorious -- not because he has any romantic interest in her (this engagement caused a lot of uproar in Fantastic Four because Victorious had been previously referred to as being like Doom's adopted daughter) but in order to install her as Latverian regent in his absence. I'm not going to lie, I love a political wedding. Victorious, for some reason, thinks Doom will be deeply upset that she slept with some closeted blond twink and the member of the Fantastic Four he views least as an enemy and more as an annoyance. Johnny, who Sky is currently not talking to because she "felt" him sleeping with Victorious through their magic plot soulmate bracelets, also feels nervous about Doom finding out about this, which I guess is slightly more valid. Anyway, for some completely ridiculous reason, Victorious decides the best time to tell Doom about this little indiscretion is when they're standing at the altar, which coincidentally the Fantastic Four are also standing at, because Doom asked Reed to be his best man in a not at all homoerotic little setup involving midnight swordfighting and Reed slipping Doom's emerald ring onto his own finger. Sorry to sidetrack into DoomReed territory here but it's just like. It's just a lot.

(FF 2018 #33) Also, Ben walked the bride down the aisle. :,) Look at his gigantic hand.

Anyway then Doom decides he's going to kill everyone in a completely reasonable and not at all overblown reaction to Johnny and Zora having what was most likely both disappointing for Zora and weepy for Johnny sex. And that brings us up to where Fantastic Four comics left us yesterday -- in answer to your "big change" question, that's most likely coming up in the next issue, so it hasn't come to pass yet.

Having gotten all that out of the way -- the last time Johnny and Peter interacted canon-wise was in the recent Empyre Fallout Fantastic Four, at the end of the Empyre event:

It was cute! Slott does right good interactions between them. This is possibly the Stockholm Syndrome talking. I don't know if more interactions are likely imminent -- the Empyre event was fairly recent. On the other hand, Slott does like writing interactions between them. So I'd give it about a 50/50 shot. I was skimming the letter page in the latest issue and someone wrote in asking if Peter was likely to appear in the pages of Fantastic Four again any time soon, so there is definitely a demand.

As for Johnny coming out -- I don't know. It's not a call I feel comfortable making at this moment, which I guess means I wouldn't bet money on it. I'd like to say yes, especially because I think Slott set up, whether that was his intention or more likely not, several good places in his run where Johnny could have come out. The beginning, when he's implied to be living with Wyatt again and where he and Wyatt are paralleled against Ben and Alicia. Ben's bachelor party, where Johnny laments not finding the right person -- specifically person and not woman -- and where Ben tells him to "be brave, Johnny Storm." And the soulmate planet plot, where I think could have had a very different and much better ending if Johnny had told Sky that she couldn't be his romantic soulmate, because he knows he wants to be with a man. But those are just places that I think would have made good opportunities for a coming out story. Instead, Johnny's been involved (dubiously) with three different women over the space of the last 10 issues, which is more heterosexuality at one time than he's been confronted with in the last 60 years. So my thoughts are still that it's going to happen eventually, but quite possibly not anytime soon.

Hope that helps! And that my incredibly long answer about what's currently going on with Johnny in comics sheds some light on things!

[mandoalorian]

favorite maxwell lord scene? or if you cant pick just one feel free to just talk about any 😊

mmm it’s such a hard question. i’ve watched the movie and hyper-analysed his scenes/character so much 😭 but different scenes mean different things to me. okay im gonna tell you about the scene where he’s in the bunker granting wishes because that is special to me for many reasons.

from the moment diana comes and speaks to max and she’s like “why are you doing this? dont you have enough?” and he’s like “why not more!” ... that whole sequence to me is mwah. from her tearing down the camera to his evil laugh and walking over to the broadcasting particle machine thing. you really get the sense that hes too far gone and it’s frightening. until this moment we’ve seen a desperate man trying to fight for his son’s affection. a struggling single dad who just wants to make his son proud and give him the world.

still, he’s so easy to hate at this point. but its only because he became so blinded by power and corruption, he lost sight of the things that truly matter. whilst this is a very over the top example, it’s something that can happen to us if we are not in the right environment/circumstances. he got led down a dark path but his actions never held no malice. and now we begin to recognise his arc.

now i love diana so much and a big love of this scene comes from the fact she’s the one who is able to talk sense into maxwell. the score is gorgeous— from lord of desire to a beautiful lie. it makes me cry everytime. her speech: ‘because you’re not the only one who has suffered. who wants more. who wants them back. who doesn’t want to be afraid anymore. or alone. or frightened. or powerless’ means so much to me. a lot people dont like the fact she used words to defeat maxwell, but i love it a lot. and the fact she used her words to help maxwell see the truth and feel seen is so important to me. i think it’s incredibly inspiring. sometimes you dont need to use violence to win our battles, because like diana says ‘we all have our struggles’.

the most important thing to me was max having no choice but to face his trauma. it’s something so difficult to do, something i believe we all have to do at some point in our lives, and it’s heartbreaking to watch as he relives it. but as someone who is recovering from something myself, it makes me feel like i can get better as long as i face the truth like he did. because the moment he remembered and faced his trauma, he began to see/hear alistair, and saw the things that really truly mattered to him. and that was his arc. that was the moment of his redemption. and i cannot fault this scene whatsoever. it engrosses me and makes me sob every single time.

— EEEP i went on for quite a while. if you want a full character study/analysis of maxwell lord i’d be more than happy to write one up. i just really adore his character and i feel like i have a lot to say 😭🤍

[gundhams-pandemonium]

The Dating Game

@fandom-goddd and @bakablyat

[Chapter One of my Shinsai Salmon Mode fic, Dm me for the Ao3 link. Nothing Explicit BUT some implied V3 spoilers]

"... A dating game?" He echoed the bear's words as he lay on his dorm room's bed. It was already strange to wake up in a locker, introduce himself to fifteen other people, and have a mechanical bear talk about how the 'original program changed' and this was 'a different mode'.

[Something about a killing game... Shuichi would rather not think about that too hard]

It was quite frankly... a mess. He should probably get to talking to people if he expected to find love. At the same time, how was someone supposed to find love in ten days?

[However there was an undeniable feeling and even partial truth that he knew these people. Like when Momota (who instituted on being called Kaito), someone he supposedly never met, called him 'sidekick' and it just felt right. Or how Akumatsu, the girl he woke up in the same classroom as, commented she was proud he took off his hat... it was odd to be with familiar strangers]

A knock at his door brought him to his senses. He opened, cautiously peering out until he saw the enthusiastic Piano Player.

"Hey! Shuichi!" She gave him a motivated greeting, her smile wide.

"Oh, hello Akumatsu," He returned her smile, though his not nearly as big.

"You know you can call me Kaede, but nevermind that. So, come on tell me, who do you have your eyes set on," She gave a teasing poke to his shoulder. He only stepped back, face flushed red.

"E-eyes on?" She hadn't already begun this 'dating game', did she?

"Mhmm," All of sudden her eyes went wide "You have started talking to the others, right?"

"Umm, No But- Hey!" He was grabbed and now being dragged out of his room.

"Nope, come on! Let's find you someone nice to hang out with," Soon he was released and following behind her.

He really was being dragged into this, huh?

*

"Hmmm, I see Kaito is with Maki. Kiibo is over there talking with Rantaro while Kokichi is spying on them. Himiko is being fought over by Angie and Tenko. Well, at least they look like they're having fun," Kaede talked about his 'potential suitors' (her words not his), her arms crossed as she carefully considered everyone. The detective only looked over at whomever she was talking about and began to feel tension in his chest. "Ooo maybe- wait no Tsumugi is taking a rest in her room last I knew. We were running in the gym, to try something new for the both of us, and I think I wore her out".

"Um, I don't want to be seen as being too pushy but maybe we can hang out?" At least comparatively she seemed very approachable, and he already felt semi-comfortable talking with her.

"I would love to! But... well actually, I'm about to go spend some time with Kirumi. However, Miu wanted something to eat first and I wanted to see how you were doing so it worked out. But, I don't think we'd have enough time to 'hang out' 'hang out', make sense?"

"Yeah, that does..." A little disappointing, but he wasn't going to be upset at her. Really, he should be thankful she's making an effort for him otherwise he'd probably still be contemplating in his room.

"Hey! Anyone not busy!" She called out and Shuichi really wished he had his hat to hide under. "Well that didn't work- wait! Shinguji, are you with anyone right now?" Her energy knew no bounds as she spun on her heels and headed toward her attended 'target' dragging the other teen behind her.

She was speaking to the long haired teen who'd been sitting quietly on the bench; from what the detective could recall his full name was Korekiyo Shinguji, and his title was the Ultimate Anthropologist. He was a bit strange, but he had no obvious qualms with him.

Korekiyo's eyes looked up from the book he held in his hands and glided from Kaede to lock with Shuichi's. His golden eyes piercing, and though he couldn't see due to the black zippered mask on his face he could imagine a smirk to go along with it. As if the detective was something to study-

He blinked his thought away, not sure exactly where they came from. Afterall, he'd hardly had a conversation with him. How could he guess if he was smiling much less what his thoughts were.

[At the same time, the idea in his head remained. And though it wasn't up and fore front it hadn't fully left him]

"With anyone? " He repeated, turning back to her.

[How.. How long were they looking at each other? Was it not really long at all? Was it in his head?]

"Yeah, for the game we're currently in," She replied, hands on her hips.

"Kehehe, no. I'd been reading, and when I wasn't I was just watching all around. This place is truly beautiful isn't it?"

The pianist in reply bit her lip, and Shuichi couldn't help feel the response was slightly... strange. Well, all people were different. Just because someone talks differently then how you expected didn't mean they were bad or anything.

"It is a nice day out, and you know who you can enjoy the day with! Shuichi," She splayed her arms out like the woman showing a prize on a quiz show. And before Shuichi could tell her anything else she raced off.

Well, she gave him no other choice. At least, despite his odd demeanor, he didn't seem cruel or crude [There were many crude people he decided against... dating]. Actually, sitting and reading a book was quite a common thing that he liked to do himself.

[He could hear Kiyo reading aloud. A text he couldn't focus on due to getting lost in his voice. Another odd, sudden, thought that he pushed back with anything else of this nature that appeared in his mind]

" I believe your friend just 'set you up' with me" The anthropologist brought a hand up to his chin, resting his palm against it.

"D-dont phrase it like that! Makes it sound so sinister..."

"Oh, really? Kehehehe..." His laugh trailed off.

Great, they were sitting awkwardly in silence. Not something you'd do just trying to meet someone, and especially not someone you were attempting to speed date.

"So, what book are you reading?" Certainly this was a good starting point.

"The Necronomicon," Or not.

"The... what?"

"Kehehe," He laughed. Oh, he was joking? With how serious he sounded he didn't even realise.

Then he turned the book around, for the title to be showcased. It read "The Necronomicon". His mind blanked, was he supposed to laugh too? Was he to question this book? Would he be offended by his shock?

"Not that I believe this book to be factual..." Oh thank- " While spirits are real, you can not just bring the dead to life. Though, it Is amusing in a way to read."

Shuichi felt like he was getting hit by a pillow only to turn around and to get a swift kick to the gut. It wasn't necessarily painful to talk to him, but he couldn't keep up with these constant surprises that blindsided him.

"Where did you find it?" That can't be too outrageous, nor have him completely confused by the answer.

"My dorm room. Monokuma, which refers to itself as headmaster, told me it was a reward. Though for what he did not specify. Curious don't you think? I've never met before yet he implies he knows me well and that I'm deserving of this for something I've done in the past. If it is a present due to my talent... Well I don't see why since my Ultimate Lab is enough."

Once again they fell into silence, though this one was more thought provoking. An intermission, so to speak, to pull the clues together and to start bouncing theories off each other.

"Maybe, it's not that we've been here before but that they've tracked us? After all, I walked past Kaede's Ultimate Lab and it was completely customized to her. And they took us from various places..." Shuichi said, already feeling ridiculous. This probably wasn't what the guy was aiming for, to make actual theories. They were just here for a simple conversation and now he was making him ponder their odd (and slightly horrifying) situation.

"They did kidnap us all for a purpose, and made sure we are Ultimates... They did mention this was like a reality show? Perhaps us being Ultimates, and teenagers, is supposed to draw in the viewers. Make them believe this is something extraordinarily ordinary. Ridiculous really, romance is romance and human romance has beauty in all forms. Whether it be the start of one, the end, or even the middle it holds a plethora of emotions; romance is celebrated in all cultures in some way, whether it be marriage or otherwise. Did you know about the Celtic wedding tradition that later was adopted into Christian ones? You see, they used to throw rice at the newlyweds. It is still done today, albeit rarely due to it affecting birds. The rice was to symbolize growth, expansion really, of the family. So... beautiful. Food has always been so precious but love triumphs that."

The anthropologist rambled on, and he couldn't help but feel enraptured by each word. It was fascinating, and to hear someone he first thought wasn't talkative at all... well it lifted a weight off his shoulder that he would have to lead the conversation.

"You seem to know a lot about romance. Do you read romance novels?"

"Know a lot... ah, you have misunderstood. This is simply what I've gathered from careful observation and analysis. Not from novels, though, if from any books they'd be nonfiction. Those are my prefered choices after all," he looked at the book he'd brought with "And I'd hardly call this a usual book for me... do you like to read, Saihara?"

"Oh yeah, I read from a lot of different genres. Though, as cheesy as this sounds I prefer detective novels. If it's a good one I like to try and put the clues together before the protagonist can,"

"Very cliche as you put it. But what is expected of a detective, you must constantly be prepared,"

"I'd really hardly call myself a detective, I just enjoy puzzle solving. For example, I couldn't solve a murder case in real life or anything but a book I could... I only solved one missing persons case, it was originally my Uncle's and..." Shuichi could already feel a wave of shame and guilt come over him; he didn't deserve this "Ultimate" he was just a glorified puzzle-solver. He ruined someone's life and now he was living in a dream-like world where his only goal was to find love.

"There is nothing wrong with preferring puzzles, nor nothing wrong with only solving one case. You have a talent, and if that is evident in the academy then it doesn't matter what you've done and rather what you will do,".

Shuichi wasn't sure he wanted to do much of anything more with being a detective but... well he appreciated the kindness in the other's words.

"... Observation," Korekiyo stated, as if it made sense on its own.

"Huh?"

"You would make a good anthropologist, or at least it may interest you slightly. It is all about observing, and to solve something you must do some observation," Though his eyes were looking at him, they seemed not to see him. As if looking beyond him "Would you be opposed to being taught about the subject?"

He froze at the question. That was... quite a sudden leap? Although, looking at his fellow classmate, it was as if that is what had been on his mind the whole time. He didn't have anything against learning, knowledge was something he always enjoyed, yet he felt something stop him from immediately saying yes.

Why did his hands suddenly feel so sweaty, and why did his mind buzz with sudden anxiety? He would never deny that social situations were not his strong suit, but something like this hadn't happened before.

Swallowing his fear (and the dryness in his throat), he responded.

[This next choice will affect the rest of your route...]

[Accept ] <-----

[Reject] <------

[Accept] ✅

"Well, you are an expert on the subject! I think learning more on it could be interesting, especially if-"

"Excellent!" Korekiyo blurt out, and for the first time Shuichi saw his emotions shine. It was a sudden burst of energy, one he quickly composed himself to cover up "...this evening, after meal-time, meet me in the library. Preferably around seven and no later than nine. The books will, hopefully, be more informational than the one in my room. I will see you later, Saihara. Be prepared for your eyes to be opened upon seeing the beauty of humanity."

Without another word, or a response, the anthropologist left him.

He certainly got himself into a commitment...

*

It was lunch, and Kaede proposed they sit together.

"Do you wanna sit with Kirumi? Oh, unless your, uhh, date didn't go well?" Shuichi asked, the bouncy girl shook her head.

“We were fine! But she's serving everyone food, and I wanted to sit with you. Y'know," She gave a wink and a smile "I was wondering how you and Korekiyo hit it off."

"You make it sound so... official," His face reddened and she laughed "I think it went well? We're going to meet in the library at seven," He explained, trying to pull at a hat that wasn't there.

[He couldn't remember ever taking it off... but he also remembers it being in his room...]

"Oh? Really? That's so exciting! See, a date!"

"Well, we all are going on dates... that's the point of this all," He mumbled out.

"But he wants to talk to you more, that's promising! Unless..." her voice trailed off "Do you like him Shuichi? If not then obviously you don't have to-"

"I-its nothing like that!" He cut her off, immediately feeling regret doing so "It's... I'm not sure what to think of him? I've only known him for a few hours. He seems nice, but what if...what if he's just a friend type?"

"Well, I guess you'll have to find out!" She gave her companion a pat on the back. "Don't stress too much, this situation may be strange but it isn't the worst. Keep your head up high, and get to know some people. Even if you are nothing more than platonic, it will be worth meeting him, right?"

"... You're right! Thanks Kaede."

"No problem! Now let's get something to eat!"

*

"Perfect timing, Saihara," He stepped into the library, the smell of mold already hitting his nose. It was a dirty,dingy place, it couldn't even be argued that it was old in the "cute aesthetic way". His eyes scanned, seeing the piles upon piles of books that were stacked not only on the shelves but the floor.

Korekiyo was sitting in the corner, a small table and a pile of books beside him.

He wondered, silently, if the stuffiness of the area even bothered him slightly.

" How many books is that?" Shuichi sat down across from his, drumming his fingers on the table.

"Hm, just twelve. But they are merely for reference or in case you want to study a topic further. I prefer explaining things myself," His golden irises didn't even seem to dim in the dingy room, as if they were glowing "But where to start?"

He felt more in a college lecture, than on a date. If lectures were between two people, that is. Maybe more of a study group... well it certainly didn't feel romantic. Somehow, that eased his worries. This was to get to know each other, he didn't have to prepare himself for hand holding nor kisses right away.

" Well, I know that anthropology is the study of people, but how about you give me your definition?" This would certainly get him talking.

"Hm, that certainly is a good place to start. Anthropology studies the thoughts behind traditions and customs. It delves into the topic of folklore, and the way differnt tales from all over have similarities. Or even how the same story has differences. It is all based on how people interrupt as well as putting one's own feelings into the tales. It's not just with folklore, though certain anthropologists only study folklore, you would be able to do the same with customs. Anthropology is a truly human study through and through, so your definition isn't wrong just lacking in the specific details, " One would find it hard to read someone's expression when half thier face was covered, But where he lacked his hands flowed in joy. It wasn't overtly distracting, otherwise his point would be null and void, instead in tune with how he spoke. " Anthropology is everywhere, and is constantly changing, which is why my studies will never be fully done. It is why I must observe and research continuously- It may be hard to some but it is merely routine for me."

Hearing him talk about something so passionately piqued his interest. He'd never thought of anthropology as a topic of interest besides mild, but if Kiyo was leading the discussion he sure he wouldn't mind.

The conversation continued to flow; with Kiyo's long rambles and Shuichi asking questions which would either continue the topic in more detail or the conversation to move to a different part of the vast subject.

"Shuichi, have you ever traveled before?"

"Traveled? What do you mean?" That came out of virtually nowhere; though he was discussing field work in different countries, he hadn't suspected being asked himself.

"Taken trips, whether they be on your own or with others. Or, do you tend to stay in one place?" Shuichi was about to explain before a noise cut off his sentence.

"Ding, Dong, Bing, Bong," An almost chilling chime played on the speakers.

[All he could remember was blood splattered on the shelfs, and pooled on the library floor. The victim lay- Wait, what? He wasn't a homicide detective...]

"It is 10 pm, officially nighttime," Monokuma's announcement rang through, the Monkubs chiming in once and a while to add on with little remarks.

"Hm, I suppose we should leave and retire for the night... we shall resume tomorrow, at the same time? "

Tomorrow as well? Well, he could hardly refuse, and he was still curious about the topic.

"That sounds good; well I'll see you then, it was really interesting talking about anthropology with you," He gave a smile, and the other looked pleased.

They went their separate ways, and Shuichi was pleasantly surprised with the outcome of the "date". Whether he'd become friends... or... either way he could see his relationship growing positively.

[End of Day One]

[newsies-of-corona]

Okay I’ve been on one heck of an analysis high so let’s get into it!

Team Awesome Analysis

Part 1: Season 1 Relationship

In season 1, Varian and Eugene’s relationship isn’t much. In “What the Hair,” obviously the two just met, but Varian spends the episode idolizing Eugene for being “Flynn Rider” and trying to impress him, and Eugene tries to get Rapunzel’s secret out of Varian, and later tries to get him to turn off his dangerous hot water machines.

When they first meet, Eugene is flattered that Varian says “Flynn Rider is his hero,” but then immediately feels very awkward around him because Varian doesn’t listen when Eugene explains that he only adopted the name from the book, and the stories aren’t actually about him. It also doesn’t help matters that Varian keeps calling him “Flynn,” even though Eugene has told him multiple times that it isn’t his name anymore.

Right off the bat, you get the vibe that Eugene doesn’t trust this kid and is frankly frustrated with him. Varian is unintentionally putting everyone in danger through his hot water machines, and he won’t listen to Eugene when he tells him that it isn’t safe. To make matters worse, Eugene has also seen a glimpse of the destruction that Varian’s machines and experiments can cause because of the lazer sword, the explosives, and the tremors caused by the hot water machines. Seeing his girlfriend actually inside of one of Varian’s contraptions is probably adding to his anxiety, and he wants to get everyone as far away from this dangerous kid as possible. Eugene still cares about Varian however, but it’s only in a “he’s a kid who needs protection” kind of way.

When Varian shows up for the expo in “Great Expotations,” Eugene definitely isn’t too happy to see him (“...since your last invention almost killed us! So glad you’re here. With what looks like another invention.”). The explosion at Varian’s lab could have killed both Rapunzel and Eugene, if it wasn’t for Raps’ hair, and it was probably very traumatizing for Eugene as well. When Varian’s invention for the expo goes off the rails, (even though it isn’t his fault) Eugene is probably on even higher alert in regards to Varian.

Jumping all the way to “The Quest For Varian,” when Rapunzel talks about her dream, Eugene is very quick to say “stay here where you’re safe.” And when Rapunzel gets a note from Varian asking for her help, Eugene is very suspicious. (“It’s always something with that guy.”) He has no right to be suspicious, even though he may have heard the rumors from Nigel, because he heard from Rapunzel that Varian only wanted her help during the storm. Eugene also has no idea about Varian’s turn to villainy. Even when Eugene sees Varian’s father trapped in the amber, he’s still very critical.

In “The Alchemist Returns” when Eugene finds out that Varian is with Rapunzel, he’s just quick to think that “Rapunzel could be in trouble,” and he doesn’t seem surprised at Varian’s turn either since he already didn’t trust him.

Another thing to note is that whenever Eugene talks about or mentions Varian, it’s usually to criticize him even when he’s on the right side.

Part 2: Season 3 Relationship

In season 3, when we see Varian come back as a full fledged villain, Eugene is obviously defensive when Rapunzel says that they have to work with him. (“After everything hairstripe here has done you are going to trust him?”).

But after that, something changes. Eugene seems to be way more trusting of Varian after his redemption, when in reality it seems more natural for him to be even more suspicious because of what happened before.

In “Be Very Afraid,” for example, Eugene doesn’t warn Rapunzel about how dangerous it would be if she went into the tunnels with Varian, but instead he seems completely chill with them going and isn’t suspicious of him at all.

In “Cassandra’s Revenge,” Eugene seems pretty comfortable around Varian, even enough to even touch his alchemy that Eugene probably would have stayed far away from back in season 1. Varian actually has to tell Eugene to be careful (oh the irony). Later on, when Varian is trapped in the rock cage, Eugene basically risks his life to help Varian by walking over to the cage that’s suspended in mid air. Varian also looks to Eugene as a source of comfort when the cage gets pulled in, and Eugene obliges, being very protective over him now.

In “Race to the Spire,” Eugene and Varian are acting more like friends, pranking each other and laughing with each other.

In “Flynnposter,” when Eugene is talking over him, Varian doesn’t hesitate to sass him, because he considers him as a friend instead of his “idol” who he needs to impress.

In “Once A Handmaiden” Eugene trusts Varian enough to ask/let him make a dangerous weapon because he knows Varian will be careful with it. They’re shown to be acting more like best friends, and they even have a handshake! Even when Varian is using the bazooka somewhat haphazardly, Eugene doesn’t get frustrated with him, he smiles and thinks it’s funny. He even teams up with Varian during the fight against Cassandra which shows that he trusts him enough to protect Corona.

In “Plus est en Vous,” we really get to see how far Eugene and Varian’s relationship has come when Eugene jokes about Varian’s villainy and Varian laughs along with him. This topic is very sensitive to Varian, but he’s chill enough with Eugene to joke with him about it which shows massive growth. When Eugene is concerned about Varian’s father being in the brotherhood, he warns Varian about him possibly being under the mind control. Though Varian is angry at first, he respects Eugene enough to listen to what he said and takes “precautions.” Eugene is so proud of Varian and we can see that he really values their friendship when he tries to cheer him up after Quirin gets knocked out.

Instead of criticizing him, Eugene compliments and encourages Varian throughout season 3, and really seems to connect with him now. These two really became an inseparable “team awesome.”

Part 3: What changed?

So how did Varian and Eugene become so close? Well the simplest solution would be to say that “Rapunzel trusts Varian now and Eugene trusts Rapunzel,” but technically Rapunzel trusted Varian in season 1, and we all know Eugene certainly did not. Another reason could be that Varian is older and more responsible, but I think the biggest reason that Eugene is suddenly so trusting of Varian is because he can relate to what Varian has been through.

As a kid, Eugene was already in a life of crime and thievery and it lasted all the way up into his adult life. He probably got thrown in jail multiple times too. When he met Rapunzel, he was still a theif until she gave him a second chance. Rapunzel didn’t necessarily change him, but it was Eugene’s time with her that made him truly “see the light” (pun intended.) When Eugene brings Rapunzel back to the kingdom, he doesn’t get accepted right away. Cassandra still doesn’t trust him (in season 1) and he’s still regarded as a theif in many areas, but he’s able to show them all, in time, that he’s a changed man and that he will do anything to protect his friends, Rapunzel, and all of Corona.

In Varian’s situation, he’s done a lot more than just petty thievery, but Rapunzel is willing to give him a second chance as well. Again, she didn’t change him, but she made Varian see what was the right thing to do even if it was hard. Eugene had every right to reject Varian and blame him for all of the horrible things he had done, like everyone else in Corona. But when he sees that the kid really does want to change and that Rapunzel wants to help Varian just like she helped Eugene, he gives him the benefit of the doubt.

Eugene knows first hand what Varian is going through, over the course of season 3, and how hard it is to come back from a life of crime. The least that he can do is give Varian one more friend that he can trust on his path to redemption, and encourage and help Varian to step back into the light. Because of all of this encouragement and trust from Rapunzel and Eugene, Varian is able to rise up and do amazing things to help Corona.

Eugene and Varian have a lot more in common now, both being redeemed, and they can also relate to being decended from members of the Brotherhood of the Dark Kingdom. (I bet they had a nice long talk about that 😂😂)

So in short: Varian and Eugene’s relationship has come so, so far and I’m so glad that they both trust each other now and that they became such amazing and close friends. “Alright Team Awesome!!”

Woah that was a lot!!! I’m so mad at myself for deleting it before, but the beauty of rewriting it was being able to make a more thorough analysis and find more things that I missed before! I really hope y’all enjoyed it!!

[ranvwoop]

TALK ABOUT AMERICAN HEALTHCARE I HAVE AN IDEA OF WHY IT'S THERE BUT I WANNA HEAR THE EXPLANATION ALSO THE ONLY HOUSE THAT"S NOT ON FIRE (YET) FOR THE SAME REASON I JUST WANNA SEE THE ANALYSIS:TM: IF U WANT I WANNA SEE IF I GOT IT RIGHT :D

Hi :DDD. Thank u for asking,,,, I have many thoughts. I am sorry in advance. This is one of those things I will put under a readmore because I am into rambling. IT GOT A LOT LONGER THAN ANTICIPATED IM SORRY. Like. a lot. It was 4 pages in google docs because i dont trust tumblr to save my drafts

Okay a lot of my Ranboo thoughts are about the syndicate / boreal trio / peerpressure duo. But you’re probably aware I am a Them enthusiast first and both a dsmp enjoyer and person second. Because. I really like the syndicate. I also don’t have too too many thoughts on the more recent lore past the experiments. Once the in character monologues stopped, so did my brain. I communicate through monologue to monologue communication.

American Healthcare is actually gonna be the main reason why this is so long bc it works Very Much for like three different reasons. One sorta niche and abstracter reason is a stream that was basically never elaborated on back in March, either the day after or very close to the peerpressure Egg confrontation stream. The egg called him a coward (for some reason my brain can Only come up with the “stop saying i look like chicken little. he’s dumb, and a coward, and i am NOT a coward” vine), and he is not a coward, so he decided to make an action plan to bring the server together by acting as a mediator for all parties and try to make sure that everyone is happy, because he’s the only one that can see all sides, or something. This was where he said the big happy family™ line but other than Ranboo Become Dream?? analysis nothing else really happened and everything went along as normal.

(I also always held a little bit of suspicion on this stream actually and thought it might be the influence of the egg, because it says it can give one whatever they want, and ranboo wants to make everyone happy and this was a totally foolproof way of doing that. Sort of in a similar way that BBH is convinced that his plan will totally make Skeppy happy. But also Ranboo is just like that, but this felt a little more on the nose than usual and he did fall into the egg and made his decisions after being egged on by it, buT WE’LL NEVER KNOW, WILL WE?

… also I really wanted to see more egg conflict at the time. Peerpressure rlly got involved in the egg plot for cameos at the banquet and nothing else. I do not blame anyone and respect the ccs for all of their attempts to weave plots together but also. also…. we.. we coulda had so much…)

That was a little off topic from the point, but… he really just thinks he can save the sick… he can see that everyone on the server is unwell and is wrong but, y’know, look inwardly, the unwell is coming from inside the house. And an inherent problem of the way that the server runs. And if this is still lowkey in effect or not (idk man a) ranboo has monologued a lot I simply chose a one off from march to grow emotionally attached to and b) i think that my brain has shut off once ranboo stopped solo lore streams), it would probably go the way that most choosing to change the system from the inside goes. Which is the point of the song and stuff! He will inevitably decide what’s too far, whether he will either admit it’s a choice or just feel that it’s what he has to do. The, uh, dealing with the devil, to be polite.

in conclusion (but we are not close to done here i’m holding you for a bit longer), i think a lot about that stream and i think that shows what he wants to be, at the very least, and continuing down that path would definitely go into being far more trouble than just a noble goal of wanting to help people, from negotiating with corruption (The lobbyists, the Congressmen and lies bit) and that the server can’t really be brought together and saved like that (When things are more and more this way / Sometimes it's like they'd rather die)

THE LESS. vwoop why have you written an unnecessarily long post about one stream in your playlist character analysis reason is both more literal and piece by piece and also Syndicate, My Beloved, you know the drill. We are going line by line because I have a lot of feelings about American Healthcare, apparently.

This also comes back to that everyone on the server is doing Really Badly, all of the time, but mostly his time in L’Manburg. For one, he is pretty complacent in everything and doesn’t really accomplish much in terms of actual change, so like Well people die every day / I wouldn't have it any other way / I just think they should feel good while they are alive. An example of this is Exiled Tommy — who I’d also metaphorically put as the dead man just for funsies, since Tommy’s whole exile thing was one of the first things Ranboo experienced on the server—as he did try to be friends with Tommy and keep him company with his letters, but he still has no power over the actual issue at hand. Just trying to make it a bit more bearable. Similarly is Techno, while Ranboo still participated in the butcher army that was trying to kill him, he helped in the meantime until he “died”.

And then it’s the Realization that participating in the system doesn’t really help much, and the subsequent Everything. It could be getting mad at the whole government system and that he didn’t mean to contribute to the harm, or how he fought with Fundy using hs ideology but not in the way that Ranboo thought. It could also be standing up to his hallucination Dream, in that he doesn’t try this hard to be a good person just to be accused of helping with all of the things that he may or may not have helped with. (That is… a discussion for not right now, I don’t know.) And I think this sort of area is also where it’s like they’d rather die is also relevant, cause Doomsday. Nobody could just set aside their governments and just get along, though Ranboo had his own solution to fighting and things.

And then he joins the Syndicate! And the lyrics of the song are directly Government Bad, because government bad. Canon anarchist, has done things that he’s not proud of as a part of the government. The lines it was the government / … It got louder over the years / Until all that I could hear was flies and all.

But honestly I think in the Syndicate he’s still trying to “save the sick”! Because the Syndicate don’t All fit eye to eye either. He’s the token pacifist, and a vote against violence whenever it comes down to it. Not all anarchists are violent but Techno and Phil will probably react strongly when provoked, due to All the past events, and I live in a world where their trauma and issues get talked about as much as everyone else’s. Since everything is decided by vote it’d probably be split between them and Ranboo + Niki, who is in her healing/no longer resorting to murder arc. He’ll help them negotiate and then everything will Be Okay, ideally.

(Also I just like the idea of Ranboo believing that he is helping the people he’s living with because canonically cc!Ranboo has said he just really cares about his family and the syndicate are included in his family shut up but they also just believe they’re helping him and yes it’s self indulgent. I care them. Particularly Endduo, actually, or whatever they're called, I am not bold enough to think Ranboo looks at Techno and thinks I Can Fix Him, but. Philza Minecraft will one day talk about his feelings. One day.)

There’s also radioduo and beeduo as of recent— really I’m just saying I think that Ranboo constantly has a Need To Help People, believes he can do it, and it will come back to hurt him in the end (except for the Syndicate because I’m in denial. The Syndicate can’t fall out if they never stream together :) ).

THIS CONCLUDES THE AMERICAN HEALTHCARE PORTION OF OUR SHOW.

The Only House That’s Not on Fire Yet !! I like this one. This is also blatantly there cause Syndicate. They are the only faction that is not actively falling apart, and this could absolutely be because they never stream together. But I do not care. However we are also going to go through this one piece by piece because we’re nearing 1500 words here and I might as well embarrass myself more. I am writing an incredibly informal essay about Ranboo My _Beloved (i assume his middle name is My, and he’s just one of those people who write his full full name) and this is the third page. If you’re still reading this, I’m sorry. Here we go.

There are lines that just seem like an unwell but recovering person, and I like to sort of think that way about Ranboo in the arctic during the down time. “I feel knotted up today / But in a most exquisite way” and “I feel strangely regular / But honestly I prefer it to / The usual bizarre” are just! He’s just hanging out. He’s doing good. There is the acknowledgement that he’s usually not doing well, and all of the episodes that he’s had in the past, and it’s probably strange to be doing well in the midst of everything, and there’s probably something impending, but now? He’s doing good!

The verses directly after both of those ones are about uncertainty and trust and such, and I feel like that’s not necessarily about just One relationship but all of them. Will cause problems as long as he has an accomplice. He is not confident but he trusts and loves people.

“This suit doesn’t fit me / I made it conterfeitly” I just like to think about Ranboo in his fancy suit, but it’s just a little wrong because he actually has no idea what he’s doing. I also like to think about Ranboo in a cape to fit in with boreal trio and later the syndicate, and emerald duo had matchy blue outfits from the Antarctic Empire… and trying to fit in with them…. or maybe They make him something.. You know. Much to think about.

“Killing me with déjà vu” I think is like. A little less fun, because despite how well things are going, the enderwalk is still not resolved and he had even less answers when I started thinking “this is a ranboo song”. Just as it relates to having a strange sense of reality and stuff, which goes into specifics of enderwalk headcanons, which would make this far longer. Even though I’ve framed it as a negative, there is also the more positive note of “Oh! I just thought of how to change all the hate / Into love with the old switcheroo / Dancing in my déjà vu / You'll be dancing too” which I’d rather explain broken up but I feel like as it’s a full verse it should be together. The first part is connected to my general thoughts of him explained earlier tbh, he’s trying Very Hard to make everyone happy and fix things. And adding the second part to it is just like! He is trying to make sense of everything, and it’s not so scary as time goes by. Since the experiments where he’s been (questionably) trying to be more comfortable and get more answers.

This was very long. I am sorry. I am ending it here and probably not going to do much formatting to make it readable because it is very late o’clock and also this is four pages and 2000 words I am so sorry. But if you read this far then. Uhhh thank. ^v^.

[i-want-anne-hathaway]

Analysis of “Flat 15B” from Halls

This is exactly what it sounds like. I took apart the lyrics of the song to try and figure out more about the characters. I only have the brief descriptions George and Jen gave and a six minute song, but I tried.

Jessie

Jessie (Grace Mouat) is the person who immediately tries making friends and initiates the Flat 15B group chat. She says things and criticizes herself for it afterwards like when she says “#15B? Oh my god, who even hashtags anymore” and “Oh god, not a wink face.” She questions very small things she does in regards to other people. This could be one of the things she works on throughout the show.

“I don’t know how I’ll cope with sharing a bathroom” demonstrates some of that privilege George and Jen mentioned. She probably doesn’t have any siblings because if she did, she would’ve shared a bathroom at least once. This privilege is different from the privilege they mentioned Will having. Will’s benefits are a lot clearer to see, but Jessie’s are very small things.

She mentions relationships twice with her lines, “Mom keeps on telling me that the best days of your life getting a first class degree, while finding Mr. Right” and “Did you know that 40% of people find their partners at uni” so I think she may have a romantic plot or subplot throughout the show.

She says “moving in gets nearer” as if it’s something she’s scared about. She’s obviously nervous about it, but in a very subtle way. It’s expected to be nervous and anxious, but Jessie treats her fear like something to be ashamed of. 

Zoe

Zoe (Olivia Moore) is our resident theater major. She comes off as friendly and open like Jessie, telling her “you’ve got yourself a wing-woman right here” in response to Jessie’s “Mr. Right” line. If I were to mark one definite friendship, it would be Zoe and Jessie.

The lines she has to herself are both about her clothes fitting in the car and how many shoes she’s taking. This doesn’t give much information, but people who overpack generally do it for the reassurance that everything they may need is with them.

Zoe is also nervous about this whole university experience, but she’s straightforward about it. She says “I’m feeling scared” and that fact she’s sacred doesn’t bother her like it bothers Jessie.

Natalie

Natalie (Millie O’Connell) has already made herself known as the party girl from the very first line she sings. She seems to be somebody who likes to joke around as shown in her line “Wink face? That’s a bit keen.” I’m not entirely sure that’s what she’s saying, but it’s definitely something making playful fun of what Jessie said.

She is already like, “I can’t wait for Freshers week,” which is a week long period before classes start to get Freshman settled. There are parties and drinking all the time, and Natalie wants in on that. “No one to check what time that I get home…” made me think she doesn’t want people concerning themselves with what she does. She’s kinda like “I’m just tryna have some fun, so don’t worry,” and yes, that was a SIX reference. I’m not ashamed of myself because it fit very well. 

Natalie has this one track mind of going to parties and drinking. Almost every line she says has something to do with partying or drinking, for example “I packed my tequila.” This whole party attitude reminded me of Farrah from We Are The Tigers, and if they are similar, Natalie has some issues she’s trying to run from.

Josh

Josh (Tarinn Callender) is the person you hate, but you love. He also seems like a bit of a party person, but not as much as Natalie. Almost all of his lines are about sex and appearances.

He’s cocky and confident, as seen in his line “Can’t see any girl saying no to me when I move in,” but if I’ve learned anything from school, the people who seem incredibly confident and cocky are faking it until they make it. 

Dan

Dan (Cameron Burt) starts his section off with “This has to be the thing for me” because he started university before but dropped out. He no doubt feels pressure to stick with whatever he’s doing because of the fact he’s already quit once. I can already assume he probably feels awkward being older than everybody else. 

He comes off as incredibly shy and reserved especially with Josh and Natalie coming right before him. In comparison to those two, he’s like a mouse. Dan looks very chill and relaxed to me. Everybody else texted something kind of bold, like Josh or interacted with the others, like Zoe, but Dan just said “Hey everyone. I’m Dan. Nice to meet you” and sort of left it at that. 

Sam

Sam (Sophie Isaacs) is our working class student who juggles multiple jobs throughout the show. She’s not exactly poor, but she’s having difficulties with student loans. She says she’s “packed all my life into a case,” which suggests she doesn’t have very many things to even take with her. 

She states “I can’t believe I’m going to get out of this place.” She either hasn’t been anywhere but the area she lived, or she didn’t think she’d manage to get into university anyway. There’s a chance her family didn’t go to university.

“I’m not coming back” is said with strength and confidence. She’s determined that she's getting out of that small town for good. There is no way she’s returning. 

“I’m not gonna slack, I’m gonna make my family proud,” follows that line. She certainly doesn’t slack off because it’s been confirmed that she’s always working in order to pay off her loans. She’s going to do whatever it takes to get herself through school and make her family proud. I’ve had her character for less than a day, and I would kill for her. 

Josh, Dan, and Sam all claim that they aren’t scared, which is different from the previous group, Jessie, Natalie, and Zoe. Natalie never outright says she’s scared, but I’m pretty sure she’s more nervous than she’s let on. 

Lewis

Lewis (Alex Thomas-Smith) is this confident gay character who helps the others on their road to find themselves. I’m not sure if that’s in a mom friend way of helping them, or a friend who roasts you every time you try to make bad decisions, but either way it’s great. 

He says “everything will start again when I walk through that door,” implying there’s something he wants to redo. He’s confident now, but he definitely wasn’t always like that. There’s something that happened he doesn’t want to think about.

“They’re gonna see me as who I am, not who I was before” gives off a similar idea as the previous line. These could be references to his sexuality, but it doesn’t feel that way. This makes me think he’s done/said some things he’s not proud of. Sexuality isn’t a “who I am now vs. who I was back then” type of situation because if you’re gay now, you were always gay. It’s not one of those things that starts after some event, it’s just a matter of realizing. He was somebody before that he doesn’t want to be associated with who he is now, and I doubt that the reason he’s so ashamed of this previous version of himself is because he wasn’t out of the closet.

“Cause I’ve already wasted time being scared and having to hide” does seem like a reference to Lewis’ sexuality, but I still don’t think that’s what the other two lines were about. His sexuality can be a reason he’s confident though. A lot of openly LGBTQ+ people are more confident because they’ve already accepted who they were. This is supported by the line “I won’t have to lie” because it implies he’d lied about who he was before.

Will

Will (Matteo Johnson) is also a law student and is supposed to be a parallel to Sam. They study the same thing, but because of finances, Will is much better off than Sam. Because he has rich parents, he doesn’t have to concern himself with working to afford school. 

He’s seen speaking to his mother before he starts singing, and it doesn’t appear like she’s able to support him at school. We don’t know what she’s saying, but Will responds “Yeah, no, I understand it’s your job.” Even as he’s doing what his parents want, they still aren’t able to be there for him. “I’ll see you at Christmas” implies that from when he starts school in August or September, he won’t see his parents the entire time. 

“My whole life has always gone perfectly to plan” perfectly shows that Will hasn’t been making his own choices. His major probably wasn't his choice nor was the school. “Never straying from the path that they laid out” conveys the same message. His parents planned out everything he did, and he never questioned it. “For the first time in my life, I suddenly feel unsure” shows that he’s doubting whether he wants to follow everything his parents tell him to do. He’s even doubting the fact that he’s doubting himself, “maybe I’m just scared.” After not questioning anything his whole life, now he doubts everything. A major point in Will’s story is going to be finding out what he wants and stepping away from the path his parents have for him

THAT WAS SO LONG! If anybody actually managed to read that entire thing, I must applaud you. 1511 words of character analysis based off of one song. I have way too much time on my hands, but I’m just so excited for this musical. 

[rushingheadlong]

“It’s Late” Song Analysis (and mini-rant)

Disclaimer: I’m not writing this to argue that Brian didn’t cheat. He did. We’re not debating that today. What we are discussing is the fact that Queen songs frequently have several different layers of meaning and there are other, I think equally valid, interpretations of It’s Late that don’t reduce the song down to just “lol he done cheated”.

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First, let’s acknowledge that the literal story that the song is telling is the ending of a love affair. In Brian’s own words:

“It’s another one of those story-of-your life songs. I think it’s about all sorts of experiences that I had, and experiences that I thought other people had, but I guess it was very personal, and it’s written in three parts, it’s like the first part of the story is at home, the guy is with his woman. The second part is in a room somewhere, the guy is with some other woman, that he loves, and can’t help loving, and the last part is he’s back with his woman.”

Even in that quote Brian is hinting at layers of meaning by saying, “all sorts of experiences” that he had and that he thought other people had. I’ve seen several people criticize this by pointing out that cheating isn’t a universally relatable experience. That’s true, but that criticism is based on the assumption that the song is only about cheating… and I don’t think it is.

There are several reasons I think the song is about other experiences and emotions in Brian’s life beyond just cheating:

Firstly, that above quote - I genuinely do not think that Brian is naive enough to believe that cheating is a universal experience, which makes me suspect that there is more to this song than just that and that there are other things at play here that other people could find relatable.

Brian writes personal songs all the damn time, but they’re very rarely as straightforward as the lyrics would make you believe. ‘39, for example, has sci-fi themes on the surface but Brian has said that it’s also about coming home from a tour and feeling out of place in his “normal” life. Even something like Fat Bottomed Girls, which seems like it should be straightforward about Brian liking heavier woman, has been explicitly confirmed by Brian to be written about Freddie’s choice in partners. (And if you look at the women Brian has dated, you can see that it’s not really about him at all.)

Working off of that, I have a very hard time believing that Brian would want to write a song about his cheating by writing a song explicitly about cheating. Especially considering that Brian referencing his cheating in Now I’m Here is done rather cryptically (“Down in the Dungeon just Peaches and me”) and not anywhere near as obvious as the story in It’s Late. Brian May has a knack for hiding the truth of his emotions deep in his music, and I don’t think a straight-forward reading of the literal meaning of his lyrics will ever pick up on everything that he actually put into the song.

Brian wrote this song not too long after he married Chrissy. (I’m not sure on the exact dates here, but I think he married Chrissy in ‘76 and It’s Late was written probably in late summer of ‘77.) I have a very hard time believing that a recently-married Brian would be either oblivious, uncaring, or malicious enough to write a literal exploit of his cheating into a song that his new wife could end up hearing, and it makes more sense to me for the song to have more layers and be about other things as well rather than assume that Brian’s plan was just to make up another explanation for the song if asked about it.

We have exactly no evidence of Brian having a long-term, recurring affair with a single woman, which is very much what the superficial story of this song is about. (Before anyone starts arguing, “But Peaches!!” - It’s Late was written before Brian reconnected with her at the Jazz party in New Orleans.) So given that there’s obviously some level of fiction being worked into this song, I don’t think it’s a stretch to argue that even if Brian was drawing on his cheating for some of the emotion in the song there are more layers to it than just that.

SO. What else could the song (also) be about?

I would argue that another very valid interpretation of the song is Brian’s feelings of disconnect between his “normal” life and the life of a rockstar in Queen. Yes, I’m sure that includes the cheating, but I don’t think that’s all that Brian is talking about here.

Brian has said in different interviews that he struggled with being a husband and a father because he didn’t know what he was doing. He felt like he was letting his family down by not always being around, and also struggled to fit into a domestic life in the moments when he was home.

Bear in mind that Brian seems incapable of ever slowing down. Today he has multiple large-scale projects that he works on when he’s not actively touring with Queen, but he didn’t have these same sorts of outlets in the 70s and 80s. He didn’t have a private recording studio, he didn’t work with other artists to the same degree that he does now, he didn’t have the Save Me Trust, he wasn’t writing books… you get the idea. So it’s easy to see why he’d struggle to settle into a “normal” life in his moments of downtime, when day-to-day life with his family was so much quieter and calmer than he was used to dealing with.

The general theme of feeling disconnected from a “normal” life is also one that pops up multiple times in Brian’s songs. Like I said before, ‘39 is partially about Brian returning home from tour and feeling like an outsider in his old life. There’s also Leaving Home Ain’t Easy, which addresses the pull between domesticity and touring a little more obviously.

I would also argue that Sleeping on the Sidewalk (which is on the same album as It’s Late) also does this a little with the change from “I may get hungry but I sure don’t want go home” to “I sure do want to go home” in the last chorus. So it’s something that seems to have been on Brian’s mind, at least a little bit, at the same time that he was writing It’s Late.

Like I said before this is also not too long after Brian married Chrissy, and it’s only two years (and two albums) after A Night at the Opera when Queen is still continuing to reach new heights of superstardom. On some level, Brian may have been torn between wanting to marry Chrissy and worrying that he wouldn’t be “doing right” by her by constantly being in the studio or touring and not being around as they started a family together.

Also consider that Brian’s life up until this point has had a very sharp divide between the personal and the professional. Brian continued working on his doctorate thesis for years after Queen formed and only set it aside in 1974, at which point he had a falling-out with his father that was really only put to rest in February 1977 - literally only months before he would have written this song. It’s possible that Brian was feeling frustrated by the fact that he was only just now starting to balance these two parts of his life, and that whatever progress he made was slow and messy and, on some level, “not enough”.

And a lot of the lyrics could support this reading as well:

(Verse 1) And if I say I love you in the candlelight There's no one but myself to blame But there's something inside that's turning my mind away Oh, how I could love you If I could let you stay

Brian is in love with Chrissy, but feels guilty that he’s distracted by Queen affairs. He can tell her that he loves her “in the candlelight”, when they’re actually alone, but he always goes back to the band where Chrissy can’t follow or really “stay” with him.

(Verse 2) Oh, you know that I can love you Though I know I can't be true Oh, you made me love you Don't tell me that we're through

Brian loves being in Queen but he can’t be “true” to the band anymore because he has Chrissy and a future family to think about now. Also, consider the lyric: you made me love you. Brian was always a little reserved about Queen at first, as shown by how long it took him to drop his thesis and commit 100% to the band. But Queen “made [him] love [it]” and now he’s facing a change in the old status quo that he doesn’t know how to handle.

(Bridge) We've been so long trying to work it out

This isn’t a new problem for Brian. He’s been with Chrissy for years at this point and he’s been juggling life with her and life with Queen for most of that time. The difference now is how much the band has taken off over the last year or two and, as a result of that, the new struggles he’s had to face as his two lives diverge even more.

(Verse 3) You say what game are you playing? What's this that you're saying? I know that I can't reply If I take you tonight, is it making my life a lie? Oh, you make me wonder Did I live my life right?

Queen eventually has to go on tour again, and the parting isn’t easy. Chrissy may not be happy that he’s leaving, and Brian feels guilty for being with her in this moment when he’s about to leave her for the next few months. He wonders if he’s doing the right thing by splitting his life between Queen and his new family.

One other lyric that I want to highlight is from the first chorus where Brian asks, Is it just my sickly pride? That’s always struck me as a very strange line to put in a song if it was only supposed to be about cheating… but it kind of makes a lot of sense if it’s about Queen instead, and Brian is questioning whether he’s continuing down this path because he’s too proud to admit that he can’t keep splitting his life between Chrissy and Queen like he has been.

So. There’s that. A whole of lot of reasons why I think it makes more sense for It’s Late to have layers of meaning inside of being about only cheating and nothing but cheating, as well as what I think is another valid interpretation of the song.

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Also, if I may end this on a slightly different (and much angrier) note:

A lot of Queen songs have multiple layers of meaning and/or are about fictional (or semi-fictional) scenarios. There’s also songs written by John and Roger from when they were married that are clearly not about their wives but, for example, no one listens to “In Only Seven Days” and questions whether John was cheating on Veronica during that week (even though they all cheated - and I know some of you are gonna be angry at me for saying that, but it’s true and I’m not gonna get into debates about that). So it feels a little… weird, I suppose? To have people embrace the many meanings of Queen songs and the fantasies in them, but to limit It’s Late to a single one-dimensional interpretation.

I think it’s disrespectful to Brian to ignore everything that is beautiful in the music and lyrics of this song, and it’s incredibly disrespectful to Queen as a whole to imply that… what? They let Brian record a song explicitly about his cheating and nothing else for laughs? Or that they let themselves be bullied into including it on the album? Because, again, if this is only about Brian’s cheating, that would imply that everyone involved with this song beyond Brian heard it and didn’t point out the potential for Chrissy to be hurt by this - an issue that doesn’t exist, at least not to the same extent, if the others had plausible reasons to assume that the song had more depth to it than just that.

And while I can understand some of the jokes about this song, I think the fandom collectively has reached a point where it’s gone past plausibly funny and straight into hurtful. Ignoring all the shit that gets slung Brian’s way, I just don’t understand how so many people can rail against Brian’s cheating… and then immediately turn around and crack jokes about this song or Chrissy’s reaction to it, in a way that completely trivializes not only her experiences but the experiences of everyone who’s been cheated on.

So yeah. You don’t have to like the song, and I’m not even trying to claim that Brian’s cheating played no role in this. But limiting the song to a one-dimensional interpretation and then cracking endless “jokes”- or worse, using this song to try to draw conclusions about Brian’s or Chrissy’s actions or their relationship- is just a really shitty thing to do.

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(And one final note: I have zero interest in debating or discussing the morality of anyone’s cheating. Don’t use this post to springboard into conversations that are just about Brian’s cheating and not the song itself - make your own post if you want to talk about that, because I’m not hosting it here.

Also while I’m open to talking about other interpretations of this song if your argument is, “Brian cheated so It’s Late is about his cheating and nothing else!” I’m not having that debate with you.)

[notthatiwilleverwriteit]

~ anyone disciplining him growing up due to his father being in jail and his mother probably working full time to both live and pay off debts. In asian culture, at least in chinese culture, parents would hit you if you do something wrong, hoping that you would learn your lesson and would not repeat the same mistake again. That brings back to the chapter where he tian gave a sandwich to mo nicely, but mo just threw it away, causing he tian to beat mo,hoping that mo would not ~

~ do this again. He tian probably beat mo out of anger, but I think what old xian is trying to portray here is the father role played by he tian, that is to punish mo when he does something wrong. Also, I think disciplining mo requires the use of force because he doesn’t really listen if someone talks to him nicely (for example, the chapter where a classmate told him he couldn’t play cards in the class, and he just stormed off cursing and chapter where buzzcut told him about his anger issue?? ~             

~ and he threatened to beat buzzcut if I remember correctly). Before meeting he tian, mo and his gang had been going around school picking up fights and destroying school properties (according to detention board). After he tian started sticking to him, it is very noticeable that none of these things occur again. It is very obvious that he tian’s presence is changing mo in a better way. Mo and he tian are just characters that compliment each other. He tian is teaching mo of how he cannot go ~

~ unpunished for every wrongful action that he does (which mo’s parents were never there to teach him) and Mo is teaching he tian of how being rich and popular does not mean he can have everything in his way and not everyone will bow down to him (in addition to all the mafia stuff and he tian needing mo to escape the dark world that many people have talked about). What do you think? (has anyone have written a similar analysis before?) Sorry for long post and spamming.                  

Good morning, dear anon-san! (^_^)/

First of all, sorry for taking my sweet time answering your question. I had a couple of school projects I needed to get out of the way first. Also, I wanted to take screenshots of the rest of your question, but Tumblr was being a pain and wouldn’t let me upload different kinds of images from the chapter pictures. So, I copy-pasted the rest instead. 

You posed some interesting interpretations! Some of them differ from how I see Mo Guan Shan’s character and his relationship with He Tian, but they also introduced some new perspectives I hadn’t thought of before.

I wondered how to tackle your analysis. Your question has some overall themes running through, and my usual way of highlighting quotes to structure my answers doesn’t feel the most effective this time. So, I picked some keywords/phrases and the chapters you mentioned and I will try to give this answer some structure that way.

Lack of discipline in MGS’s upbringing

Let’s begin with MGS’s childhood and parenting. According to your interpretation, due to his absent parents (father in prison and mother working a lot to provide for the family) there hasn’t really been anyone there to discipline and punish MGS as a child. This has caused him to grow up without learning to follow rules and later resulted in him getting in trouble at school multiple times. I get the feeling that you’re not blaming the parents for any of that. It’s just due to the unfortunate events the family has gone through.

This is probably where I disagree with you the most. So far, we haven’t gotten any content of Mrs. Mo disciplining her son, but I don’t think he has grown up without proper punishments and learning his actions have consequences. I think it’s quite the opposite, actually. As you mentioned, she’s probably had to work long hours even when MGS was younger but I doubt she’s been as absent as you proposed. She doesn’t strike me as someone who would neglect her child’s upbringing that way even if she had to work a lot.

MGS might not follow the school rules but it’s clear he’s very responsible for a boy his age (ch. 259):

MGS takes care of the house (cooks, cleans, pays bills...) and works multiple part-time jobs. And I think that is the key to how he was raised instead of how he acts at school (I will get to MGS and school a bit later). Doing all those things at MGS’s age requires a strong sense of responsibility and most of all, discipline. I’m sure there have been countless times when he hadn’t felt like going to work after school or when he’s been too tired to cook for his mother so dinner’s ready when she comes home late. But because the situation of his family is what it is, he didn’t have a choice.

Bringing up your child like that doesn’t only take discipline but also trust. She had to be able to trust MGS would take care of things while she was away. I’m also sure she had had to be strict and tough with him in raising him like that, and it hasn’t always been easy for her. I’m sure she has had to deny a lot of “normal” things from him because she had needed him to help her with everyday necessities.

Another thing that hints at according to what principles MGS was raised was when he went to see his father (ch. 240):

We learned how much MGS looks up to his father and wants to become like him. In his eyes, his father is “upstanding” and someone respectable. So, it’s not like MGS lacked good role models growing up even before his father went to prison.

All of that being said, it is true MGS gets often in trouble at school and I’m sure the school has contacted his mother multiple times because of that. We haven’t seen that happening in the comic itself (yet) but we might have gotten one clue how she could handle those situations (ch. 177):

She knows her son better than anyone else in the world. She knows he has a temper and can get in trouble easily because of that but she trusts him. That doesn’t mean she always automatically takes his side or doesn’t believe the teachers. By trust, I mean she always wants to hear MGS’s side as well because there must have been a reason if he’s done something wrong. After that, she decides whether or not he should be told off or punished. If MGS has skipped school and comes home too early, she doesn’t discipline him right away but wants to know if something happened.

I also have a feeling that whenever the school contacts his mother because of something he did, it’s not something MGS wants either. He doesn’t want to burden her any further with his inability to stay out of trouble. His job is to help and take care of her, and it shames and pains him if she has to take responsibility for his stupid mistakes. His character is a heart-breaking combination of wanting to be a good son that his parents could be proud of but not being dealt with good enough cards in life to feel like he can achieve that. That was also evident in how he lied to his father about having friends and doing well in school. He didn’t want to disappoint him.

MGS, school, and gangs

You didn’t talk about school directly, but I think the way MGS acts around his classmates and is treated by them and the teachers is an important part of his character. You proposed he’s acting out in school because of his lack of discipline but again, I have to disagree.

I think MGS is being aggressive towards his classmates for one reason: it’s a defense mechanism. It origins from his childhood and isn’t obvious on the outside which makes it difficult to detect. So let’s take a look at what we know about MGS as a child being around his classmates (ch. 242):

At a very young age, he’s being treated unfairly by his peers. Rumors of his father being in prison caused prejudice and made it easy to point fingers at him whenever something bad or suspicious happened. A child of an alleged criminal couldn’t have been raised to follow rules, and no one should associate themselves with him. In that flashback chapter, little MGS is trying to deny the accusations but no one listens to him, let alone believes him. The situation escalates quickly as MGS gets frustrated and physically attacks his classmates which, of course, only worsens the situation.

What I think applies to MGS’s attitude towards his classmates these days is the principle of people tending to mirror the way others treat them. If someone is being hostile towards me, it’s likely I’d start acting the same way. Especially, if I feel like I’m not treated fairly or that people are being prejudiced. It’s a way to protect and defend myself.

However, it can easily become my everyday behavior if I’m constantly being treated like that in which case, I start being hostile and aggressive before others can attack me. Which, in return, feeds the prejudice and unfair treatment until it’s a vicious cycle and I end up becoming a social outcast.

This is evident when we look at how MGS acts in middle school. You mentioned the incident when one of his classmates tells him off for playing cards in the classroom and MGS ends up storming off (ch. 154):

I think that’s an excellent example of how MGS has become an outcast and how others now fear and dislike him. The way the other student tells him to stop playing because it’s against the rules wasn’t nice as you implied but rather aggressive as if she had readied herself to face him and hid her uncertainty behind hostility. MGS told her to mind her own business but interestingly walked away from the situation. As if he doesn’t want to be the center of attention because he knows everyone in the room looks down on him and hates him.

Again, I don’t see this kind of behavior as a sign of indiscipline but something that has developed over the years as a result of discrimination. MGS has learned it’s better to distance himself by appearing angry and unapproachable so people will leave him alone out of fear. None of his classmates really know him, though, and easily believe every bad thing said about him. All they see is his exterior which is somewhat understandable, especially at their age.

You also mentioned gangs in your ask, and that’s connected to MGS’s aggression and being an outcast. I’ve talked about this a couple of times before (X and X). As MGS kept drifting further and further away from the kids who didn’t accept him, he was heading towards gangs and delinquent lifestyle. A gang gave him a place to belong and being a delinquent fed his ever-growing aggression and his already bad reputation. Unfortunately, being surrounded by gangs and people like She Li only worsened MGS’s poor self-image and made him believe that was his place in the world. And SL took advantage of that and created an illusion that he was looking out for MGS and this was his destiny (ch. 178):

However, it wasn’t only MGS’s classmates who discriminated him, I believe it was the teachers as well. There’s one detail especially that has always stuck with me (ch. 265):

When the teacher (grey hairs) was telling MGS and HT off after the Coke incident, it’s obvious he doesn’t see the two students as equals. To him, HT is an honor student with a bright future who shouldn’t associate himself with people like MGS. It’s one thing if immature kids don’t see past someone’s behavior but when it’s also adults (let alone educators) who fail to do so, it’s so much worse and often results in a kid losing faith both in themselves and in their futures. Teachers are the people kids trust and expect the most to do the right thing and treat kids without prejudice. As a teacher, that panel broke my heart a little.

What comes to MGS getting angry at Buzzcut after the card incident (ch. 154):

MGS gets angry because Buzzcut accidentally poked at something MGS is very sensitive about. The topic of his father being in prison and how he feels about it goes deep and is something MGS wants to hide from others. So, when outsiders who don’t know anything about his father even mention him, his knee-jerk reaction is to get defensive to protect that emotional sore spot. It wasn’t about MGS having anger issues or lacking discipline but rather about lashing out to hide something vulnerable.

Are you starting to see what I’m talking about when I say his behavior is not about the lack of discipline?

HT as a father figure

Because MGS often breaks the rules and gets in trouble, you proposed HT comes in as a father figure and teaches him his actions have consequences by punishing MGS when he acts up. And to bring his points and “lessons” across he often needs to use force because MGS won’t listen to him otherwise.

This interpretation perked me up, and I find the perspective of seeing HT’s role as someone fatherly very interesting. I have never thought of it quite like that. I both agree and disagree with your interpretation, but it turned out to be somewhat difficult to pinpoint where the line between them goes.

I agree that discipline and HT go very much hand in hand. From the very beginning, he’s made it very clear MGS is not to go against his will or refuse him (ch. 150 and 210):

But I still don’t think it’s quite in the way you described. Because I don’t think MGS lacks discipline I also don’t think that teaching him manners is HT’s reason to “punish” him for acting up. There’s no reason to teach MGS his actions have consequences; he’s known that his whole life and often suffered from it. Instead, there’s a deeper meaning behind HT’s actions and overall interest in MGS, and it’s brought up quite often in his lines (ch. 160 and 180):

HT wants to make MGS into an “outstanding person”. (As a side note, that same phrase is also mentioned by MGS when he’s visiting his father.) He knows what real bad guys look like and sees MGS isn’t one of them. In his heart, MGS is actually honest, caring, hardworking, responsible, and someone who isn’t hungry for power and sneaky about it. He has drifted into gangs and being a delinquent because his environment constantly rejected and badmouthed him, not because he’s a troublemaker by nature. However, if he keeps up his current behavior he’s heading into a dangerous future, and it’s from that doom HT wants to save him. 

But of course MGS isn’t about to just follow HT blindly. He’s learned the hard way not to trust people’s actions and words. Over the years, he’s built strong, nearly unbreachable walls around himself, and HT needs both time and effort to get through them. Ultimately, it’s about trust, not discipline. HT isn’t punishing MGS for acting out but trying to pull him away from the cliff MGS has been pushed towards and is about to fall off.

As I said, it’s difficult to say where my interpretation parts from yours because discipline is definitely a part of HT molding MGS into an upstanding person but still...it’s different. It’s as if despite his good goals HT needs to dominate MGS first for his own good to make him listen because MGS doesn’t trust him enough to just follow him. If MGS can’t fight and refuse him, there’s no other direction really. Also, it should not be forgotten that HT thinks MGS having spunk and spice in his character is a good thing even if that means he will fight and resists even HT himself. That means he’s less likely to become anyone’s puppet, has enough pride to not suck up to anyone, and wants to be independent.

What comes to the chapter in which MGS slaps the sandwich offered by HT and HT beats him up for it (ch. 222): 

First of all, 19 Days is known for having that kind slapstick humor, and I think HT kneeing MGS until he accepted the sandwich was an example of that. Secondly, I don’t think it was a “punishment” for acting out or MGS not knowing what discipline is but rather HT yet again asserting his dominance to make sure MGS keeps following him. Thirdly, it’s important not to forget the context of MGS’s behavior. Earlier in the chapter, he had gotten agitated by Buzzcut asking about girls and love and what was MGS’s type - unbeknown or perhaps not realizing that MGS is awkward and testy about those subjects, especially after HT had started pursuing him. Then he runs into HT and ends up taking out his feelings on him and refusing him in a way that was more serious in tone than his usual reluctant grumpiness.

MGS affecting HT’s behavior

In the end, you say that both HT and MGS have changed each other’s behavior for the better, and I wholeheartedly agree. However, I don’t think HT has ever thought that being rich and popular entitles him to have things done his way and others bowing down to him. Actually, I think it’s that very way of thinking HT wants to get away from and despises. It’s precisely the money and the influence that comes with it that has driven a fundamental wedge between him and his family, to begin with.

Now, that being said, I’m not trying to make it sound like HT can’t act selfishly or be ignorant about many things. He certainly can. Being around MGS has exposed him to another kind of way of living and taught him a lot. Also, MGS resisting him every which way has probably taught him the effort and patience that goes into winning someone’s trust. Saving someone isn’t as simple as just swooping them off their feet and feeling good about yourself afterward but actually requires cooperation from the other party as well.

You had many interesting things to say and challenged my thinking in many ways! I hope I managed to cover everything you said. The cores of our ways of looking at things differ from each other, so it was a challenge to structure my answer and make sure I don’t miss anything. If you think I overlooked something or you have something to add/comment, please go ahead.

In any case, thank you for your interesting question and patience!

[butididnottried]

The Firebending Masters

I just couldn't bring myself to start watching this episode. Before i was like "yesss, bring me all the awkwardness" but then i was like "oh fuck oh shit no i'm a dumb dumbass that can't handle awkwardness and embarrassment well". Luckily Zuko trying to interacting with the rest wasn't that bad. But, he really don't know how to interact, huh? Zuko, baby, just... chill a little. Ya know, work on your upbeat attitude. xD

Let's be honest, those eastern dragons look just weird with wings. How their long bodies even keep up? Ok, i guess that since only sky bisons are the only animal airbenders the dragons can't also fly just like that because of reasons. But still.

So, they looked a bit on a pretty, rainbow fire and we're like "ah yes we understand". Good for you boys. I do not get it at all. How do people uderstand things just by looking at them?

They have a one big fire that's burning for thousands of years. So, even at the beginning firebenders we're extra.

I didn't metion it earlier but why badger moles are so frikin big? Moles are really tiny, seriously, they're tinier that you would expect. And badgers are... average, i guess? There's nothing about these animnals that says "put togehter = elephant size".

Zuko is there for a day and a half, trying no more to murder everyone, and Sokka is immediately ready to mess up with him. Bless this boy.

The Boiling Rock, Part 1

Ok, honestly, Boiling Rock is kind of a stupid name. But now i learned that it's a literal boiling rock. A big rock in the middle of a boiling lake. In a volcano of course, because that's just how the fire nation is rolling. That's just funny.

They stole a whole fridge for people and no one noticed. Yeah, let's say it, these guard are not, hmmm... to not to be too rude... not very good at their job.  But i also don't get how this whole chunk of a metal don't get incredibly hot in this lake. Did i miss something? ??? And later no one was able to tell that this very suspiciously behaving teenager that just showed up a few days ago is a mole. Maybe that's just how fire guards works? With tennage interns, or something. Because why not. Or maybe Sokka is just that genius master of disguise.

They separated Hakoda and Bato. ):

I don't know why but Mais uncle design is... Idk what it is, but there's something about him that dosen't seem right. I look at him and... I Just Don't Know. Something Wrong. So... meaty?

Sokka is fully aware that even when he is planning everything out, the results are not necessarily good. Zuko at leat accepted that he's a dumbass that is doing things without thinking, but it looks like he's still not aware that everything end for him more or less good. And they're such dumb champs together. Amazing.

Appa is such a baby they need to throw food into his mouth. Aaaaw.

Hotsquats. HOTSQUATS.

The Boiling Rock, Part 2

AzUla iS PeOplE PerSon And she just shoot up herself like a rocket. Dynamite gal.

Meat of friendship and fatherhood. Yeak, ok, sounds about right. In order to be a dilf you need to be also beefy. I guess.

Maybe show me this heart to be broken and love stronger than fear before you try to made me care about it? Because cuddly teenagers are not particularly emotional and moving. No? Oh, ok. I read analysis about power dynamics between Mai, Ty Lee and Azula, how their friendship works and how it not works, but this betrayal still looks much like it get out of nowhere.

Riot. RIOT. RiOT riOt RioT rioT rrriooot rRriOoOt riooot rIOt lol

Damn, Suki know how to get shit done. And i love how is she an equal match to Ty Lee, so far the most dangerous  hand to hand fighter.

They stole a whole Big Adult War Baloon and just like that they flew back to the temple, huh.

The Southern Raiders

OOOoooh! So, yeah, Aang, if violence is never the answer what you're going to do when you finally meet firelord Ozai, eh? Ok, i know what's he gonna do, but it's weird that untill now he didn't thought about it at all. I guess that before the sun eclipse he didn't worried about how to defeat Ozai because he was supposed to be powerless, but now? Yeah Aang, yeah, whatcha gonna do when you come for him?

Why Sokka and Suki are so secretive about their relationship? Like, probably everyone knows about them. I bet it was Sokka idea and Suki just rolled with it just to humour him. And because it's cute and funny.

So Appa is so traumatized by tunnels that he would faced an air ships shooting bombs and fire at him in such intensity it looks like they shoot lasers.

Ok, Katara putting together her anger at Zuko and hatred towards all fire nation because of her mother being murdered makes sense. She was suppressing all her negative emotions for so long, no wonder that she even burst out at Sokka like that. As awful as it was, it’s understandable. Althought it would be nice to see her apologizing to him instead of talking with Aang about how she still do not forgave that man for what he done. I guess that people are having issues with Katara being angry at Zuko and overall angry is because we do not saw too much interactions between them. He just joins in, goes on two adventures and boom, i want my mother back! Not enough episodes with Zuko just dickin around with gaang and having bigger and lesser arguments.

But i also like how they showed that despite being full of hatred and anger Katara still wasn't able to kill. To commit murder herself. It's not that easy to kill someone, just like forgiveness is not easy. You can’t just say that you forgive or try to convince yourself into feeling like that. But you can somehow start to move on without it. But tbh Katara all this time was thinking about this man as a monster and that what she was exptecting to meet. And she found... well, we all know how he turned out to be. How do you gonna kill someone so pathetic?

I took your mothers life so you can take my mother, that's the only fair way, and i'm just like lololol xD

So, Sokka want to borrow Momo for a few days, who know for what, he most obviously do not. He just plans to get Momo and then maybe some adventure finds them on it's own.

Sooo, they we're just sleeping there like nothing happened and apparently we're surprised when attack happened. lmao seriously? No one got even half of a thaught that this big ass ship was followed? Hm it would be nice if someone else heard Azula celebrating becoming the only child. Sokka would made a good joke about how fucked up of a siblings they are.

The Ember Island Players

Actress playing Aang was so adorable and cute and precious.

Toph get a big, muscle guy that is defeating 10 people at once while making sarcastic ripostes. That's accurate in, like, 99,9%.

Sokka, a fan of comedy, was so happy and proud when actor playing him used Sokkas jokes and audience loved it. I think that our boy can start writing plays. He could be this world Shakespeare with his sense of humor.

Yes, Jet just died and they couldn't care less. Also he got a flower instead of that wheat. Nice.

Using ribbons to show firebending is a pretty good idea.

The fire nation is not immune to fire nation propaganda plays.

But how they find out about all these events? Like, what happened under Ba Sing Se in crystal caves? Who was their informant? ...Azula herself?

What's going on about Katara and having hope?

The cringe, oh the cringe that gaang was experiencing, it's just beautiful. xD

But seriously, how long is that play?

They should turn it into musical lol.

Aang, you're just 12. Stop thinking about being romantically with someone. Seriously. And do not kiss anyone on a lips without consent. Boy, you need a proper education about boundaries. And take example from Katara - it's a war, there's no time for things like that. Tbh i have nothing against kataang, but it's not handled very well through whole show. There was more scenes with some romantic tension that we're amiss than good. :/

Also, it feels like there's at least one episode missing when at the beginning they're suddenly in Zukos family old house on the ember island. I do noy necessarily need to see every step of their journey, like talking about where to go, and then to go there and getting cozy and all that. But the difference between ending of previosu episode and beginning of this is kind of too much. Especially when it ended on such strong emotional moment for Aang.

[seven-oomen]

First, I hope you’re enjoying your game.  One of my friends posted about how she’d just gotten her copy of it, and her husband’s response was basically “so, I’ll just bring you food occasionally and see you in a few days?"  Also, I hope you’re feeling better.  And man you are KILLING ME with these previews.  Oh god, Peter, what are you planning now?  How bad is this gonna hurt and for how long?  (Don’t answer that, I’m afraid to know. XD )

I think all those Hogwarts Houses are excellent choices.  I always think it’s fun to see how people sort various characters, because I rarely have any that I feel are firmly one House (maybe it’s because I’m a proud HuffleClaw, myself, doomed to waffle between Houses every time I take a quiz or read an analysis on the subject.)  Side not - can you imagine the furor that would have occurred about a Slytherin and a Gryffindor hooking up in Fourth Year (I think?), and then pulling an innocent little Hufflepuff transfer under their spell?  Would any of them have played Quidditch?  (Peter I feel definitely played, though I can’t decide what position.  Undecided on the other two.)

Poor Peter, having to behave himself.  Although debatably as long as he kept the fangs put away it wouldn’t necessarily be a risk, though I can see him being worried anyway.  That’s why he needs to find someone to spin his fur into yarn he can then make them scarves/gloves/sweaters/etc with.  And why he’s so into the clothes sharing.  Anything to get his scent on them as thoroughly as possible.

And I am so here for PTA Dad Peter.  Helping out at school functions so he can keep an eye on the younger kids.  Building new, supportive relationships with his older kids, helping them with college applications and essays, making up lists of stuff they’ll need for dorm rooms, finding apartments if any are going to the same or nearby schools and can share, making sure they all have pictures and mementos to help combat homesickness.  And now I’m thinking about the memory quilt again.  Goddammit I don’t want to make myself cry.  Again.  "Imagine Peter hearing their heartbeats for the first time."  Oh nevermind, I see you’ll do it for me.  Ugh, my feels.  Peter shifting to his wolf form and curling protectively around them all the time, head pressed up to their abdomen so that he can listen and scent at maximum effectiveness.  Them just gently stroking through his fur until one or both fall asleep.  (Also, how quickly do the other wolves in the family pick up on the changes in scent?  How do they react?  How do the older kids react to the idea of more siblings in general?)

And you know that whichever one wasn’t the one pregnant at the time would be super protective at the time, then turn around and insist they were fine and that the others were worrying unnecessarily when they were the one pregnant.  (Also, glad your brother was okay!)  I also like that it apparently took them nearly 20 years to learn about planning for this sort of thing.  I know you’ve mentioned Peter and Chris being the ones that do the stupid thing next chapter (or something to that effect), but really I feel the biggest moment of "what the hell, guys?” is Noah getting knocked up just two months after Chris.  It’s like, you guys had a huge, in your face, live example of why protection is important, and yet…  I’m also just going to assume that they have at least a king size bed to accommodate that many people, even if many of them are tiny people, and none of them mind piling.  That’s still a lot of bodies cramming into one bed.  (That much room would also come in very handy for…other reasons, which is why I feel certain Peter would insist upon it.) 

Also, omg, I was not expecting to be attacked by those pictures like that.  Tag your porn, dude XD .  But really, can you imagine the poor, unsuspecting college friends their kids bring home for visits getting a triple barrel of that with no warning?  Like they’ve just seen the goofy, weird pics that they have on their phone/on their walls.  They were not prepared for the sheer DILF power of that household live and in person.  But then, is anyone, really?

Loving all the names.  I actually know a guy named John who has a son named Jackson, so that one was particularly amusing to me.  I also noticed that none of the kids have been named after anyone in Noah’s family, at least so far.  And don’t worry, I wasn’t expecting to have those spoiled yet, though I’m happy to know you liked some of my suggestions :D .  Now if I could just remember which all ones I went with…  Didn’t really think to put it in anywhere, but for some reason I’ve always liked Alexander as a middle name for Peter, though I remain undecided on the other two.

And yes, loving the idea of more family cosplay.  Oh god, they would never get ANYWHERE at a con because they’d be getting stopped every 3 feet for pictures.  For Star Trek, I feel like they’d do groupings from assorted series and versions.  Chris, Peter, and Noah are totally OS Spock, Kirk, and Bones (Peter with strategically torn shirt, of course).  I think Melissa would be their Uhura, and Natalie would be Yeoman Rand (she wants to see if she can fake the hairstyle), because I dare anyone to tell them they can’t pull off dresses that short.  Since he has sword training from his hunter background, Melissa makes Julio be their Sulu.  Boyd, Derek, and Jordan would be Picard, Riker, and Data (Derek would totally figure out how to do that weird way Riker sits down, too.)  After much debate, I feel Stiles would be Kirk from the recent films (NuTrek, or whatever they call it), Jackson would be Spock, and Malia would be Bones.  I think Lydia would make an excellent Uhura for them, as well.  Scott would be Scotty because he can remember to answer to it, and it gives him an excuse to do a TERRIBLE fake accent.  I’m leaning towards Isaac for their Chekov, but beyond that can’t think what to do with everybody else, I’m not familiar enough with the different tv shows.

Marvel we’ve talked about some.  DC I have a few random ideas.  I always thought it would be funny to see Peter, Derek, Jackson, and Liam do the assorted Robins.  While I feel Peter is DEFINITELY more of a Jason personality wise, I think he’d be far more comfortable in Dick’s costume that Derek would be, and if Derek was Jason the heights would line up better.  Jackson would be Tim, and Liam would be Damian (because who else would play DC’s tiny and angry than TW’s tiny and angry?)  Also, don’t overlook the fun and variety of villains DC offers.  The last group costume I did was a cross between Bill & Ted and assorted Bat-villains.  We called it Bruce & Dick’s Excellent Adventure, and even photoshopped a sign to carry to help people get it.  Among our line-up was Cleo-Catra, Ivybeth the First, The Poison Queen, Harley Antoinette, Joker Napoleon, Freud Nygma, and Bane-thoven.  (I really need to do something with the various pieces of my costume someday.)  I know there are several girls in the Bat-fam now, too, depending on who all wants to be a part of it, or if they want to skew more Justice League/Teen Titans/Young Justice.

Oh man, Disney.  So many options.  I feel like Lydia and Allison as Ariel and Prince Eric is a given.  I also like the idea of Kira and Malia as Belle and the Beast, partially because of Malia’s issues about having to hide her nature, and also because I think she could absolutely rock that suit.  Ben could join them as Chip.  (Stiles would actually make an excellent Belle, but I feel that might just get weird.)  I can see Danny helping Erica rig up a Sleeping Beauty dress with strands of LEDs that keep shifting from pink to blue to green so the dress keeps appearing to change color (it’s a massive hit.)  I don’t know why, but I really want Stiles and Jackson as Elsa and Anna for some reason.  Scott can join them as either Kristoff or Olaf, depending on the mood he’s in.  Can’t quite decide for the other pack kids.  Since the theme is nominally just fairy tales, I think the dads could just opt for a classier, fancier version of their Red Riding Hood looks.  Maybe go for a steampunk edge or something (I would have included links here, but Google was not my friend today and I couldn’t find quite what I wanted.)  Rich velvets and wools in vivid scarlet and forest-y greens, black and deep brown leather and suede, lots of polished buttons and buckles, loose cotton shirts unlaced at the throat.  Mmm, yes.  And Peter could have one of those super fancy Victorian type nightgowns with the long sleeves and high necks made out of super soft and fine materials.  Instead of getting some kind of mask to wear, he’d just do his partial/beta/whatever you want to call it shift and let them add extra fur on with makeup to blend it in.  Everyone just thinks it’s amazing effects work.  He does opt for some cute wolf paw slippers since cons tend to get snotty about people going around barefoot.  (Applying and removing the fur is also how they learn his ears are particularly…sensitive…to a delicate touch in that form.)  

Lord of the Rings.  Yes.  Like, I can’t figure out who or any real details right now but.  Just.  Yes.

I feel like some years they enter the costume contest and some they don’t, just depending on their moods.  (They totally take the Jurassic Park group to a con and people adore it.  It makes for great skits.)

Random bonus thought for the day concerns dancing.  I was thinking about the whole drag queen thing, and whether Jungle was around in the 90s, and it sort of segued into what types of dancers they are.  I feel like Peter is a very good dancer.  Not quite competition level, maybe, but very skilled, nonetheless.  Like Malia, he’s just very comfortable in himself, in all forms, which helps with spatial and bodily awareness, in addition to his natural grace and balance.  I also feel he’s the most likely to have taken, like, ballroom lessons or similar as a kid, maybe at a parent or grandparent’s insistence.  With Noah I keep thinking about the various videos I’ve seen of Dylan dancing both outside of TW and as Stiles, and I feel his dad would have a very similar style of awkward disaster from the chest up, undulations worthy of a harem girl from the waist down (those Stilinski boys tend to leave a lot of confused boners in their wake.)  In Noah’s case, settling into his frame after that last growth spurt and learning self-defense/martial arts helped smooth most of the awkward out, but it resurfaces every so often.  Chris I think would be the least likely to dance, just because I feel his background would make him very self-conscious about it, whether he wants to feel that way or not.  He’ll dance if it’s just the three of them or just family, or for a slow dance, but that’s normally it.  However, if he’s drunk enough, or if Noah or Peter have dragged him into a dark corner to makeout for a while and gotten him all distracted and relaxed, he can be pursued out onto the floor to show off some actually pretty sweet moves once he lets go.

Anyway, gonna try and wrap this up, because I just realized it’s way later than I realized, and I should try and get some sleep at some point.  Enjoy your game, I hope it’s epic!

When this little paragraph made me realize I had a gaping plot hole in this chapter and I got to go back to fix it. My god my friend, you are a lifesaver!

I also like that it apparently took them nearly 20 years to learn about planning for this sort of thing.  I know you’ve mentioned Peter and Chris being the ones that do the stupid thing next chapter (or something to that effect), but really I feel the biggest moment of "what the hell, guys?” is Noah getting knocked up just two months after Chris.  It’s like, you guys had a huge, in your face, live example of why protection is important, and yet…

Because oh yeah I wanted to make it canon that wolves can detect a heartbeat of the embryo at 4-5 weeks. Which is about a week after the heart starts beating. And oh yeah, Chris is two months along by the time Noah gets pregnant... shit. I wrote something else in that flashback.

And now I got to fix that, so cheers!

I also finished writing my chapter today! Yay! All glorious 13K of it. And I’ll be editing and posting tomorrow (or technically later today as it is past midnight.) Oh, I’m so excited, I’m so excited to see what you think!

As for the game, my god it is awesome!!! I played a few hours today but my heart raced so much I had to pause after two hours because I was getting dizzy because of my heart. But it’s a great game so far, very accessible and it just draws me in completely. It’s so good.

Definitely what I needed after my day at work.

hehehe I’m happy to see my previews and writing and getting emotions, it sounds so bad, but that makes me smile because it’s getting the desired response and that’s awesome. 

“Cue Lego Movie music”

can you imagine the furor that would have occurred about a Slytherin and a Gryffindor hooking up in Fourth Year (I think?), and then pulling an innocent little Hufflepuff transfer under their spell?  Would any of them have played Quidditch?  (Peter I feel definitely played, though I can’t decide what position.  Undecided on the other two.)

I think Peter would’ve been a chaser or beater, somehow those seem to fit him well. Noah played but he was a keeper. (which would be funny if Peter was a chaser since they would get to battle lover’s disputes on the quidditch pitch) Chris I feel wouldn’t play quidditch, he’s too busy trying to keep track of his studies and really just likes to watch the sport but not participate. I think he’d be more into care of magical creatures and defends against the dark arts than any kind of sport. Though he does join and excel at the dueling club.

And the scandal of Peter and Noah dating from fourth year on would be massive, people can barely wrap their heads around it. But they’re happy and they’re just doing their own thing. And they don’t pay attention to anyone else but what they think and what Chris thinks of them.

Peter shifting to his wolf form and curling protectively around them all the time, head pressed up to their abdomen so that he can listen and scent at maximum effectiveness.  Them just gently stroking through his fur until one or both fall asleep.  (Also, how quickly do the other wolves in the family pick up on the changes in scent?  How do they react?  How do the older kids react to the idea of more siblings in general?)

<3 <3 it’s honestly an adorable image. The twins are very active when dad’s curled up around them, knowing just where to kick so Peter’s wakes up by a foot to the face. Though he doesn’t mind and just nudges back gently, letting out a low grumbling noise or whine that he knows the babies can hear in utero. As for how quickly, it depends on whether or not they smelled it before. Jackson, Ben, or Scott wouldn’t pick up on it. They weren’t wolves around pregnancies before. Malia and Derek catch on quickly though. They start noticing the scent change at around 5-6 weeks and hear the little heartbeats of the new family members.

Malia is moderately excited, she’s a little worried about her dad and how he will handle pregnancy at his age. (Although he’s like 35 when he gets pregnant, that counts as a geriatric pregnancy, dad... I’m worried.)

Stiles just flips between the two of extreme worry where he read up on pre-eclampsia and other pregnancy complications and birth complications and omg what if that happens. But he’s also so so excited because omg he’s finally gonna be an older brother!!

(He knows he’s Ben’s older brother, and he adores the tyke, but it’s different when you have a pregnancy close instead of a five-year-old sibling from one day to another.)

Jackson is pouty and a bit grumpy. He feels like he’s losing baby status in the family more and more and he doesn’t know how to deal. (Ben was a bit difficult to get used to for him but Chris handled it well by setting time aside for his baby Jackson. It helped. But now he’s a teen and there’s going to be two more babies and he’s- he doesn’t know how to feel. When Chris breaks the news he wants to have another baby he’s even more torn but he does come around, deciding that he will always be the baby of the family, even when he’s not.

It’s a good compromise. And the three parents set some time for each of their kids so everyone gets attention.

Allison handles it the best out of the teens, she’s very excited for all of them and immediately to volunteers helping with decorating the new nursery. She paints a few awesome looking murals of Winnie the Pooh or Bambi or some other cutesy Disney animals (Or maybe even a space/star wars or a fairy tale ala Fables theme?) and just goes all out. She also convinces Malia to quilt a blanket for the new baby and helps her knit a few cute hats. She’s just extremely excited and happy.

Ben is very happy too, he’s finally not the youngest anymore and he’s happy to be an older brother. He also finds it fascinating to learn how pregnancy works and how those babies got in there in the first place. They let him tell them how it works and explain some basic details, sperm, egg, you need both to have a baby and the baby grows in pops and papa’s belly. But they leave out any details that Ben doesn’t figure out or doesn’t ask about to keep it more age-appropriate for him. 

Though Ben’s smart and he figures out a lot on his own. Noah and Peter are honestly impressed by Ben’s deductive skills. They knew Jackson and Stiles had them, but they hadn’t expected Ben to show them too. He’s a quiet observer.

They were not prepared for the sheer DILF power of that household live and in person.  But then, is anyone, really?

Honestly, I don’t think anyone is. Nobody can resist the sheer DILF power.

Since the theme is nominally just fairy tales, I think the dads could just opt for a classier, fancier version of their Red Riding Hood looks.  Maybe go for a steampunk edge or something (I would have included links here, but Google was not my friend today and I couldn’t find quite what I wanted.)  Rich velvets and wools in vivid scarlet and forest-y greens, black and deep brown leather and suede, lots of polished buttons and buckles, loose cotton shirts unlaced at the throat.  Mmm, yes.  And Peter could have one of those super fancy Victorian type nightgowns with the long sleeves and high necks made out of super soft and fine materials.  Instead of getting some kind of mask to wear, he’d just do his partial/beta/whatever you want to call it shift and let them add extra fur on with makeup to blend it in.  Everyone just thinks it’s amazing effects work.  He does opt for some cute wolf paw slippers since cons tend to get snotty about people going around barefoot.  (Applying and removing the fur is also how they learn his ears are particularly…sensitive…to a delicate touch in that form.)  

I- this whole thing? yes. Headcanon accepted because it is that good. I can literally just see them going in steampunk hunter, red riding hood and the wolf. thank you for putting that image in my mind XD

I feel like Peter is a very good dancer.  Not quite competition level, maybe, but very skilled, nonetheless.  Like Malia, he’s just very comfortable in himself, in all forms, which helps with spatial and bodily awareness, in addition to his natural grace and balance.  I also feel he’s the most likely to have taken, like, ballroom lessons or similar as a kid, maybe at a parent or grandparent’s insistence.  With Noah I keep thinking about the various videos I’ve seen of Dylan dancing both outside of TW and as Stiles, and I feel his dad would have a very similar style of awkward disaster from the chest up, undulations worthy of a harem girl from the waist down (those Stilinski boys tend to leave a lot of confused boners in their wake.)  In Noah’s case, settling into his frame after that last growth spurt and learning self-defense/martial arts helped smooth most of the awkward out, but it resurfaces every so often.  Chris I think would be the least likely to dance, just because I feel his background would make him very self-conscious about it, whether he wants to feel that way or not.  He’ll dance if it’s just the three of them or just family, or for a slow dance, but that’s normally it.  However, if he’s drunk enough, or if Noah or Peter have dragged him into a dark corner to makeout for a while and gotten him all distracted and relaxed, he can be pursued out onto the floor to show off some actually pretty sweet moves once he lets go.

Malia definitely inherited Peter’s dancing skills, I like to think Jackson did as well. Those three are the best dancers in the family. They just move with natural ease. 

Allison is a decent dancer, her gymnastics training really helps but she’s not as fluent as her brother, sister, or dad.

I feel like Noah and Stiles have awkward flailing down to a T but every once in awhile there’s a hip movement worthy of a fucking professional dancer and it’s very confusing. But yeah, totally agree with that assessment of them.

Chris isn’t much of a dancer and neither is Ben. Both of them are very self-conscious. Chris gets better when he’s drunk because he let’s go of insecurity but even then it’s not great. He just doesn’t dance, it’s not his thing. Although he was a very good grinding and hip rotation move. He’s also pretty good at jump style once he lets himself go and just turns his mind off. but the rhythmic jumping just feels natural to him. He also likes to slow dance since he can just bury his face in Noah’s shoulder or nuzzle Peter’s cheek and just forget about everything else.

Also, I like to think they all love to sing. Chris’s voice is best suited for country I feel like. Noah’s more for singer-songwriter. And Peter just loves singing pop songs and he knows how to hit some high notes. 

And now I am going to bed because It’s almost three am XD And I need some sleeps. Thankfully I have the day off this sunday.

[chrisbbaegopayo]

Hold Your Breath (Stray Kids: Stalker AU) ➻ Chapter 3 (part 2)

....

Genre: Thriller, Angst, Gore, Mystery, Suspense Characters: All of Stray Kids, reader, OCs. Word Count: 2.1k Warning: This story will contain elements of gore, on- and off-screen abuse, torture, mental illness, and stalking. It will feature themes that are not suitable for all ages, readers' discretion is advised. Each chapter will have its own specific warning.

My life got the better of me. More on that at the bottom.

Chapters: Premise | 01 Prologue | 02 Chapter one | 03 Chapter two | Chapter three (part 1) | Chapter three (part 2)

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

She desperately wanted to tell him about the letter, and as a result of the internal debate, she brought it up with Jisung. The earlier established relaxed air was out like a candle, as a more serious tone slowly sunk in. Jisung didn’t say anything for a long time, which left her feeling rather uncomfortable—she wasn’t sure whether he had been angry at her or angry in general at the progress of things.

Fortunately, Jisung saved her the trouble by speaking up, asking her whether she had actually submitted the concern request, or complaint, as she sheepishly replied with a shake of her head. Although Jisung had told her before to go through with filing the complaint, she didn’t actually have a lot of time, being the first week of the school semester and all. She did tell him that she would go through with it the next day—she only had one class the next day, which meant she could easily hop on to the administration offices to file the complaint.

Jisung seemed pretty content with that but had her tell him what went on so that he could stop worrying. And she was inclined to do so, as she really felt like her entire stalker ordeal had made Jisung grow grey hairs or something.

Jisung left after a while, and even though she suggested that she should at least walk him out to where the gate was, he told her that he would be fine, and would text her when he had made it home. She nodded and watched him disappear into the sunset through her window while waving absentmindedly in his direction.

But what caught her eye was the little glimmer—she didn’t know what it was, but it was unsettling, and so she closed off her curtain swiftly, opting to look out to the open through a crack through her blinds.

What was that?

Although she felt unsettled by whatever it was out there, her mind raced and thought of Jisung, who was out there, alone. She quickly sent a text to him, asking him to be careful, and he replied back with, “you’re telling me?”

In the next few seconds, another incoming text from Jisung showed up, which read, “ok, I will be careful.”

She breathed a sigh of relief, before sending an outgoing text to him, saying, “remember to text me when you get home!!” And was given a brief response of, “got it.”

Perhaps that eased her heart a little bit. But then again, something Jisung said made her question herself—why would she be telling him about that when she was the one being bombarded with gifts? Surely, the creepy stalker wouldn’t threaten her friends and family, would they…?

She shook her head. The uneasiness that resulted from that inconclusive deduction made her feel as though she should be on her guard, especially with her friends, but…she really needed to stop watching horror and mystery films. It was going to give her a bad case of overthinking and insomnia if she kept on going with thining too much.

She opted for some quiet studying time, and after an hour or two of productive reading, she turned off her lights and headed to bed.

Sometime in the night, the glimmer went away, presumably packed away…

>>>>>

She did end up filing the complaint after her class of the day. It didn’t take her long to make it to the administration’s office, despite being on the other side of the campus. The lady at the counter gave her a strange look, although not entirely skeptical, but more of a worried glance than anything.

She seemed content about her situation, as she handed the slip of paper off to the desk lady, who told her that the complaint would find its way to the security office. She thanked the lady, and walked off, feeling proud of herself.

Finally.

However, when the security officer got in late afternoon, the mountains of papers and previous complaints and piled up so tremendously that her complaint simply got lost in the pile. It was as though the report had never been filed in the first place, and as it got caught with some useless papers on the desk, it was tossed into the shredder without a second thought.

And with that, yn’s attempt to save herself was thwarted by the actions of a careless and overworked security officer.

The day after, she had gotten ready to attend her criminology tutorial, she met Hyunjin standing outside the classroom. She greeted him with a small wave and was given one in return as they briefly exchanged pleasantries before the doors of the class opened, revealing the teaching assistant standing by the doorframe.

She, along with Hyunjin and a bunch of other students waiting outside quickly made their way into the class, where they all found themselves a seat and settled down. She ended up sitting next to Hyunjin, who then looked over at her, and smiled.

“He seems like a pretty friendly guy,” the raven-haired boy whispered, and she giggled in return.

“I hope so,” she whispered back.

Seemed like the teaching assistant had caught a glimpse of their exchange, and smiled confidently at the small group of student.

“Seems like some of you know each other…” He began, although his smile had been upgraded into a small chuckle.

What caught them off guard was the fact that a guy who looked like he was merely in his mid-twenties had the voice of a guy who was in his…40s? Maybe Hyunjin’s initial assumptions of the guy weren’t accurate after all. But the teaching assistant seemed pretty laid back in the way he talked, so…

“I’ll introduce myself first—I’m Felix Lee,” the teaching assistant said. “And I will be your TA for the criminology course tutorial. I have a master’s degree on the subject, and working towards getting my Ph.D., which centers around the psychology of victimhood in criminology.”

He paused, and then started off again, saying, “I know it may be a mouthful, but I assure you that it will get easier once you get into it. My field is the act of victimization of the victim in a crime.”

He received collective “oh” from the class.

Felix laughed and got on with the class. He discussed the material that was covered during the lecture and did an in-depth analysis for those who were still unsure of what was going on. Of course, people still had some issues with certain terminologies, but Felix was able to comb through the confusion with some everyday examples, bringing the class to the same page.

“Don’t forget to review materials beforehand so you’ll be prepared with the questions that you may have regarding the topic of the week,” Felix told them. "If that’s all for today, then you’re free to go—don’t forget that you’re all free to send me an email should you have any problems!"

There was a collective “ok” before they all shuffled their way out the door.

Hyunjin looked back at her, as she grabbed her bag and made her way to the exit. “You have any more classes after this?”

She shook her head. “You?”

He shrugged. “I have a three-hour break before my next tutorial.”

“Oh, that’s cool—what is it for?”

He thought about it, and then responded with, “I think some liberal arts course.”

She laughed. “You don’t know?”

He shrugged again. “It was an elective, they chose it for me, I think. I just got shoved in some random class that was required for my program. The other courses that you must take in order to graduate? I still need some liberal arts credit this year.”

She nodded. “Right, right. I think I have to do that for next year, it’s kind of bad for me to have to push everything to the last minute, huh.”

Hyunjin laughed. “Hopefully not all the time…”

She shook her hands. “No, I’m usually not like this…I’ve been mostly on top of things, although course selection doesn’t always work in your favour, and there is some overlap which causes some problem.”

Hyunjin nodded. “Yeah, I had a problem like that last year, which is why I was saddled with this liberal arts course this year—anyway, do you want to visit the small cafe that just opened near campus?”

She looked excited at the idea. “Yes! That sounds like a good idea!”

The pair made their way to the newly opened cafe, and spread their course material on top of the little table they were sitting at and studied together for a little bit until the conversation veered mostly off course. After talking about courses, they talked about ambitions, future jobs, as well as hobbies.

The conversation lasted a whole two hours—it didn’t really feel all too long. She found out through the exchange more about his parents, his background. When it came to his hobbies, he didn’t elaborate very much, just that he enjoyed reading sometimes, movies, and certainly other everyday hobbies that people tend to have.

What confused her, though, was the fact that he never really branched further regarding those details, merely just ‘I like this,’ or ‘I like that,’ and it threw her a little off. Perhaps he didn’t feel too comfortable sharing so much with her, but then again, it wasn’t really her place to say anything or comment. Instead, she talked about her own hobbies, entertainment preferences, and he listened, rather content with just listening to her talk.

After she went home for the day, and hopped on her couch, intending to relax, she received a text message. She hoped that it would be from Jisung or Sooji, but it was from Hyunjin, who said that he enjoyed their time at the cafe, and looked forward to their next interaction.

Although he didn’t put it like that, exactly. It was more like, “I had fun today, let’s do this again.”

It seemed a lot like the conversation two people on a date would have…

…no no no no. That was embarrassing. She swore she could feel her cheeks heat up, what an awkward thought, seriously.

Furthermore, her stalker seemed rather silent—this meant that she could focus on her work, hopefully. And for the next two months, it stayed like that until she received a text message one evening that made her feel truly unsafe.

It was an image of her—rather, a series of images of her—as they flooded her messages. Each picture was taken in a span of a few days, as it was evident with the clothes she wore, and which path she took to campus. Sometimes she considered herself lucky to live relatively close to the school, but this might not work to her advantage this time around.

She only scrolled through maybe 15 of them when she started seeing other people in the pictures, and most of the pictures that weren’t of her alone were her with Jisung. There were a few with Hyunjin in them, and one with Sooji.

This meant that he followed her. He knew where she lived. He knew which path she took to the university campus. Who she associated herself with, who her friends were.

And if she thought these were bad enough, the pictures she was set later on were even more disturbing. Maybe the creepy stalker had enough smarts to not be identified, but a gloved hand was seen in the ones that were seen later on. She guessed that maybe the hand belonged to her stalker, as they were position in very threatening ways.

When the images finally flooding her phone, she was sent one message:

“Why do you always spend time with them, why, why…I wish I could get rid of them so you’ll only see me…wouldn’t that be nice, yn? If we were the only people left in the world—you would have no one else to hold on to...”

This was the first time her name was actually mentioned in any exchange she had with him. The first one. And somehow, it felt even more personal than before. It was a rude awakening that this had become something far more than she could ever handle.

But she honestly did not know what to do, what else could she do? Create a fortress out of her home? What if her stalker knew how to pick locks? Or even knew how to do things without leaving a shred of evidence?

She thought of calling Jisung but stopped herself before she could dial the numbers. That might cause more trouble...after all, wasn’t her stalker threatening her…?

What on earth did he want…?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

My life got the better of me again, as I’m kinda dealing with some personal issues. I swear to make it up by posting some all the character’s backstories, histories, as well as other things. I also ended up in a rabbit hole of research materials...not a criminology major, so I had to do some extra research for that...as well as future research for other things...I’m basing the course structure on some of the syllabi I was able to find online, taking it mostly from Waterloo U’s criminology intro course...

I am going to be picking up the pace a little after this, as the following chapters will be advancing a much faster rate...I think I got too caught up with the details and I need to stop doing that to myself. I’m also veering off course with my original plot, but I think I need to make some small changes in terms of how things happen and give myself a motivation to write chaptered stories...

If things aren’t consistent...I’m not used to writing chaptered stories...I blame myself for not writing out a clear character profile...

[sigurdjarlson]

So, coz I never get tired of this (and because I'm trying to distract myself from being hellishly hungover): What would the Wintermoon girls be like as villains? Say they joined Aszhara, or Elisande, rather than making their own way?

Ooooh interesting question. 

This got extremely long and borders on being a goddamn character analysis essay I’m so sorry

I hope you feel better soon though. Hangovers are hell.

edit: (OOOF  forgot the read more. Sorry to anyone who had this monster of a post take up their dash for a minute there)

Any villain Diily AU I have tends to be one where she loses Alaluria and Ladelia in a very traumatic way and just kind of..snaps. Or rather doesn’t give a fuck about anything but getting vengeance.

Completely disillusioned with everyone, heroes, villains, she doesn’t care. Get in her way and you’re cat food.

A lot of things that make her..her? Would be gone. Compassion being the most notable missing trait. It’s switched off and twisted into something much worse.

I think..cold. She’s all rage but it’s a quiet and cold rage. Calculating. Patient. Ruthless. She’s a huntress after all and she is just..hunting a different kind of prey now.

And honestly cruel because why should she continue to be kind when the world never was to them? Why should she keep giving when all fate seems to do is take and take from her until there’s nothing left.

She’s putting all that pain and rage onto her victims and it makes for..very brutal deaths. Because they deserve it, don’t they? They’re all monsters. All of them. Look what they did. Even those who had nothing to do with it?

The world is cruel so she will be too. She tried being good once and look where that got her.

Such a huge part of her identity is being that sister figure to Alaluria and Ladelia. Her life has been dedicated to protecting them for 10,000 years. And naturally that inherent kindness and compassion extends to the rest of the world too.

They’ve all got some..hm..codependency issues that have been getting better as they get older and branch out, spend time with other people but they do still exist. Ironically I’d actually say Diily has it the worst there. It’s part why her and Alaluria clashed so much. It didn’t mesh well with Alaluria’s own deep rooted issues.

And WERE ABOUT TO GET REAL DEEP INTO THEIR PSYCH because it plays a huge part in how something like this could so drastically change her

GODDDD my Diily. She’s such a mess and full of good intentions that sadly don’t always have the best results. And the saddest thing about her is that she was just as much of a traumatized, terrified child as the other two when they lost their parents.

And she was thrust into that mother role which she was of course not emotionally or mentally prepared to take. She herself is deeply traumatized and trying to cope but none of them know how.

She does know she loves them though. And so, she throws herself in that role completely. They’re her world okay. She loves them more than life itself. I can’t stress that enough.

And another thing that breaks my heart is that in becoming what is essentially their mother as a young pre-teen she gave up everything. None of them had a typical upbringing and a typical adolescence but Diily really had none of that.

She’ll starve herself before she let them go hungry (she’s done it before). She’ll sell her body before she lets them freeze or succumb to illness. (And god she wasn’t ready for that. Not at all. My poor girl.)

She’d tear her own heart from her chest herself if it meant theirs kept beating.

She gives and gives and it leaves her very empty. This doesn’t only stretch to her sisters. She’s very much..a caretaker? But she doesn’t really know how to balance that with taking care of herself. So, she lets them fall or the side because in her eyes? She’s completely unimportant in comparison.

She never got to be a teenager. None of them did but she lost her innocence in ways that she bent over backwards to protect them from.

The worst part she’ll never think she’s done enough. She’s proud of the people her sisters have become but she feels she’s failed them. They didn’t have a normal childhood. They saw and did things no child should have to see and do. (Even while she got the worst of it)

In my eyes, she’s far from perfect but here she did the best she could.  (and someone truly needs to tell her that ugh 3)

They’ve been hurt and she takes them being hurt as a personal failure. Rationally she cannot keep them safe from everything but she blames herself every time. She’s her big sister after all. She’s supposed to protect them.

And that has resulted in well intentioned but ultimately unhealthy patterns of behavior such as her occasionally being overprotective or overbearing. (As she gets older she does get way better about this but there were times as a teenager she naturally had no idea how to deal with Alaluria’s confusing outbursts of rage and Ladelia’s complete dependence on her. And it did result in her trying to protect them in ways that came out more controlling then anything because she’s not an adult she’s just a kid and she has no idea how to be a mother. That and she’s their sister not their mother and it creates really confusing dynamics when Diily tries to tell Alaluria what to do for example. They will never see her as a mother figure. So..there’s some clashing there if that makes sense.

Alaluria saw her overbearing/overprotectiveness as a need to control and it clashed completely with her independent nature. She lashed out. She left. (While simultaneously craving and needing that love and affection and it used to frustrate Diily so much because she didn’t understand. Alaluria unsurprisingly couldn’t articulate what she needed (what child can?) and Diily couldn’t give her what she needed. (She’d never be able to give her everything no matter how much she tries.)

God and you know I can see the rift deepening because Alaluria keeps lashing out and driving her away and simultaneously is hurt when Diily reacts accordingly because Diily doesn’t understand why she’s acting that way. She’s a child herself so her own stubbornness and temper make her snap back which only worsens the situation.

And it results in Alaluria acting out more because Diily is naturally going to well withdraw (and probably pay more attention to Ladelia as a result which wasn’t purposeful or spiteful but its natural she’s put her energy into the sister who doesn’t keep purposefully hurting her) but whatever she does it doesn’t get her the reaction she wants.

(Alaluria doesn’t know what she want. My beautiful ball of contradictions)

Alaluria flip flops badly when it comes to affection. She craves it but will reject it when it comes her way. It’s why she sometimes reacts positively to her sisters being affectionate and other times she lashes out or pulls away. It seems like a contradiction because it is.

And you know I can’t blame either of them. It was just such a clash of personalities and most of all…shitty circumstances. And it’s the fact that they were just kids. Maybe not when Alaluria left but emotionally they’re all kind/of fucked up so it really doesn’t matter.

And on a more personal level Diily doesn’t like herself. Frankly she hates herself. Her self worth is very much dependent on her role as a caretaker and protector. Sadly? The truth of it all is that you can’t be a perfect caretaker. You can’t protect everyone from everything. And it’s something she still struggles to learn. (See: her devastation at what happened to Teldrassil and desperation to make it right) there are other reasons for it too.

Shes..got this need to be seen as strong and put together. (Which is why I enjoy taking her apart so much I think). She wants people to be able to trust and rely on her and her eyes she needs to be strong for them.

Her pain, her needs get shoved down.

She doesn’t think about. She doesn’t want to. So she focuses on others.

And really? All her personal baggage? She doesn’t know how to deal with any of it. None of them have exactly learned healthy coping mechanisms lmao.

She was a scared, hurt little girl who was forced into becoming a mother by horrible circumstance and saw and did things no child should ever have to see and do.

And she’s been trying to pretend she has it together for a very, very long time.

But she has no idea what she’s doing. She was (and still is) just as lost and scared as her sisters but she saw that they needed her and stepped up in a way..she never should have had to.

Kids are supposed to be selfish and immature. It’s a give in. It’s a part of growing up and something they’re taught to grow out of. They’re not supposed to do the things she had to do to keep them alive or give up the things she did.

What else could she do after all? They needed her. There was no other choice,

So what’s the point of the character analysis? I wanted to talk about my girls and got extremely carried away. Losing them would devastate her completely. So much of her would just..shatter. And if the circumstances are right enough it could make her snap in a way that’s really..not a pretty sight at all

She doesn’t have it together. She doesn’t know what to do with these extreme emotions. She doesn’t know what to do without someone to take care of. She doesn’t know what to with without them.

The only beings I can see her not being indifferent to is Wildheart and Brightheart of course. She loves them as loyally and unconditionally as she does her sisters. They’re family

She’s willing to do anything to get her revenge because that’s all that matters to her. The world is as dead to her as they are. Or rather..she’ll make it so it is.

-cough-

Alaluria being the most morally dubious of the three is a bit easier to figure out. It could’ve a similar situation to the above or one where the fel madness takes over. Or both.

If you want the cruelest version of her it would be the last option. Hm..Alaluria is already cynical and disillusioned with the world. Where Ladelia and Diily try to find the good she just sees the bad.

Ex; She’s distrustful while Ladelia is too trusting. Diily throws herself into helping others. Alaluria does the same but does it mainly by fighting rather than the loving, soft way Diily cares for others.

She is not bad in canon though. So let’s talk about my canon girl real quick the same way we did with Dil. 

And her repressed rage issues do come from the frankly massive amounts of trauma the three of them have been through. Rage that completely stems from pain. Diily internalizes her pain mostly. Alaluria takes it out on those she deems guilty. And she’s willing to do ruthless things to achieve a greater good. Her and Illidonk has that in common.

(She was honestly a happy child before everything. She’s always had a bit of a temper but so do Diily and Ladelia lmao. It’s just..a little harder to push them to their breaking points. Unless you know where to hit them.

And what really, really killed any idealism still clinging to her?

The Illidari. Illidan. That whole shebang.

She was still..there was a still a bit of that bright eyed brave little girl in her that wanted to save the world and make it a you know..not shitty place..and that was smashed to pieces when she really saw the reality of things.

Illidan has a part to play in that but no more than the entirety of the situation. Diily blames him for it. I don’t think it’s necessarily fair to blame him too much as she made her own choice to join them and stay.

And sometimes there are glimpses of that little girl, mostly with her sisters. When she’s laughing with them or finds joy in something innocent like a saber cub batting at her tail or finding a really cool gem. (I almost said rock because that makes it sound really funny. “Wow look at this rock I found” “that’s great alaluria”)

Anyway, my point. She’s a deeply troubled woman with barely repressed rage issues and it comes from deep trauma and an all consuming pain and complete and utter disillusionment with the world..yet is she really? She’s still fighting for it. There’s some part of her that holds onto hope that it can be better.

But she’s also managed to stay a..mostly decent person. She doesn’t hurt innocents normally. She has but she feels genuine guilt for it. She might growl and grumble but she does help others. It gives her a sense of purpose that has recently been shaken with the destruction of the Legion. She feels..good. Like she’s doing something good.

The whole point of joining the Illidari was to help everyone. To help fix what she saw as the biggest problem. 

She’s not the monster she thinks she is. She’s just a scared, hurting little girl in a woman’s body. 

And yes, she left Diily and Ladelia but that separation (even though she did it willingly) was very traumatic and devastating for her. She was suddenly on her own for the first time in her life and more or less thrown into a den of wolves. (it says a lot about her that she came out leading the whole pack so to speak. :’) my girls are so strong I love them..why am i so mean to them)

And I think knowing Diily and Ladelia were out there even when not being with them is something entirely different from them being dead.

There was always the chance they would reconcile and I think maybe on a more unconscious level..she always thought/knew they would reconcile. It was something inevitable in her mind. She couldn’t imagine anything else.

I can see her always having this belief that after everything was done. After the Legion was defeated she would be able to see them again. And she’d say it was just to shove it in their faces that she was right but..

The world she so viciously determined to protect? She’s always been very aware they’re a part of it too. Even while she “hated” them she was trying to protect them.

So, I think losing them. Especially after reuniting with them (but even during the separation) would be especially devastating. Another thing ripped from her. More proof there’s nothing good at all in the world.

And you know she idealizes them to some degree. She sees Diily and Ladelia as inherently good and herself as bad. (Regardless of how they try to convince her otherwise)

And so she’s just full of rage because it should have been her? There’s no fairness, no sense of justice in this universe if they die and not her because they were good and kind and she’s a monster.

And they were her sisters. And she doesn’t know what to do, how to function in a world where there’s no hope of ever seeing them again.

And now she doesn’t have any fucks to give.

And an Alaluria with no moral compass is a terrifying Alaluria.

Also it would be extremely easy for the demon creeping around in her head/soul to take advantage of that completely and twist her into the perfect weapon. The weapon part.. It’s kind of what Illidan did but he did it for the purpose of destroying the legion which as an idea is a good thing but we all know his methods and morals are questionable at best (*blows a kiss towards Illidan Stormrage* love ya, you bastard)

A villain!Alaluria would be absolutely ruthless. Full of completely unleashed rage and pain. The world wants to hurt her? She’ll hurt it right back. She’ll make the whole damn thing burn.

The worst part is in this au though?

She becomes what she hates most.

As for Ladelia.

She’s the most innocent of the three. The most idealistic. Diily is kind but she’s also usually rather realistic. Ladelia is a dreamer.

A lot of this comes from Diily trying very hard to shelter her and Alaluria from the brutal reality of the world (this isn’t something she could ever do of course but she did try)

But she succeeded more with Ladelia. Alaluria lashed out where Ladelia clung to Diily. Ladelia was younger than either of them when they lost their parents. She doesn’t have the vivid memories that keep Diily and Alaluria up at night. She remembers bits and pieces but not as much.

And being the baby sister and the sister that was not only tolerant of Diily’s overbearing nature but needed it she was coddled more? Alaluria wouldn’t let herself be coddled. Ladelia needed it. She needed love and Diily is just so full of love.

(Diily never intended to create a rift between her two little sisters but she did and it still shows even now sometimes. Especially because Ladelia has been by Diily’s side when Alaluria wasn’t. That’s not a judgement on her though (it sounded too aggressive) it’s just that Alaluria feels..well, she feels left out when they talk about their adventures or they share an inside joke that she doesn’t understand. It’s a natural feeling and it makes my heart hurt for her. (They don’t mean to hurt her)

I wouldn’t call Ladelia spoiled necessarily but she is babied by Diily (and despite their differences and one sided rivalry Alaluria does baby her too..in her own way) It’s easy to see that whenever she’s in trouble she turns tail and runs to Diily. (And Maybe Alaluria resents that it’s never her that her baby sister runs too. God they’re all so complicated)

She’s become far more independent over the years but she still tends to lean very heavily on Diily which is only natural. And Diily wouldn’t dream of turning her baby sister away but she learned from Alaluria it’s important to encourage their independence instead of try to control it.

But codependency issues aside. Ladelia is a genuinely good and kind person. She has a lot of Diily’s compassion and tends to be more of a dreamer than either of them. It’s why she fell so hard for Jaina (and she hurt so much for her when Jaina lost that)

But she does have a temper. Her chosen element of choice is fire after all. (This says so much about her but I’ll tape down that essay for now. It’s especially notable when you compare her to her sisters who are not fond of fire at all and Teldrassil cemented that for them lmao) She’s..the most immature of the three. More impulsive and she wears her feelings on her sleeve unlike Diily and Alaluria. Ugh I don’t want to make her sound “weak” because she’s anything but. She’s endured horrible shit and still come out good and..soft. that’s..that’s not nothing :’)

But Diily is..generally reserved with strangers. Not aggressive or rude but she isn’t going to let them see her at anything but her best.

Ladelia an adult don’t get me wrong but she is more..immature than them? I’m not sure that’s the right word. Don’t get me wrong she has had the idealism dampened over the years by the things she’s been forced to see and do. War has a way of doing that.

But she clings to this belief that people must be mostly inherently good..because she needs to believe that. 

There’s a deep sadness in her just like the other two but it manifests a bit differently.

A lot of her sadness is aimed at the world as a general thing rather than any specific entity? Diily and Alaluria hate, hate, hate the Legion and focus their rage on them. Now it’s shifted to Sylvanas and Azshara (although Azshara’s part in the Legion nonsense is something they very much are aware of and hate her for)

Ladelia does too but she doesn’t have the memories they do. Her memory is foggy (probably her mind protecting itself really) 

She doesn’t understand why people do such horrible things. She doesn’t know why bad things happen to good people. And she hates that she can’t save everyone. (You’ll see that with both her and Diily)

But a villain Ladelia??

That would be someone who kills in the name of what they believe is good but I could see her sense of good being twisted if she lost Diily and Alaluria. Especially if in her grief someone like Azshara latched onto her.

She’d be very easily to manipulate in that sense.

And she is a very powerful mage. It’s something she is very proud of. Like Jaina she’s so hungry for knowledge. I think part of her thinks maybe if she understands the universe..she can “fix” it? She just has to understand first.

And that creates someone who absolutely excels in a field like magic. She’s very determined, she’s as stubborn as Diily and Alaluria are (it’s a family trait clearly) And she pushes and pulls and picks apart the mysteries of the universe and deep down a part of her just wants to understand so she can help.

And it’s just a desire to understand. She feels better when she understands things. Things aren’t as scary when you understand them after all.

She was an unbearably curious child and still has that curiosity. It’s something Diily has managed to keep alive in her.

She’s ambitious in the sense she’s always reaching for new heights in terms of skill. She takes great pride in her skill at magic. I could see that being a bad thing in certain circumstances. “Knowledge is power..but using it wisely is the key.” “control your power..or it will control you.” etc. So a villain Ladelia might have magic as a corrupting influence rather than a positive one like in..”canon”

So a villain Ladelia to me is one who has become disillusioned with the concept of good. Or maybe one who just has a twisted idea or what is good. She’s passionate and so adamant what she’s doing is right and that? Those kinds of people are some of the most dangerous. Think..Jaina snapping and trying to  murder the entirety of Ogrimmar.

It’s the right thing to do? ..right? It has to be because she doesn’t know what to do if it’s not. And maybe she’s just full of rage and wants to take it out on those who are “bad” in her eyes.

But whether or not those people are truly bad..well, that’s almost always subjective isn’t it?

And maybe part of villain Ladelia knows that.

She just pretends she doesn’t.

She’s good at pretending.

——

NOW for the grand finale which is all three of them as villains together.

I’m wondering what could push them towards something so drastic. Typically it’s the death of the others that is the major catalyst in those au’s so.. (h

I think it would have to be an AU where they’re taken in by some sort of villain and manipulated.

Someone who pretends to love them and these three terrified, affection starved children eat up whatever parental attention they can get unaware they’re being manipulated.

It would have to be someone who can prey on all their individual weaknesses and bring out their best traits and then completely turn them on their head. Twist it for a bad purpose.

Diily’s capacity for unconditional love . Alaluria’s desire for revenge. Ladelia’s idealism and ambition.

I wonder if Azshara could be that person but it would have had to be when they were younger so it would have to be a pretty drastic au. They place a heavy amount of blame on her for the Legion shit. But if they were young she could probably twist it in her favor.

Maybe an old god of some sorts? (Oh dear that’s a scary thought)

I can see the Legion doing the same but through cruelty rather than faux kindness: I think it would be near impossible to make Diily and Alaluria loyal to the Legion after what they did to their home and family.

Ladelia is more..vulnerable to manipulation than them though.

BUT their captor would honestly have to be very good at psychological manipulation.

Using them against one another would be..horrifically successful. It could really work on Diily for example. It’s a very visible and glaring weakness and if someone took advantage of that. You could get her to do anything if you put them up as bargaining chips.

Hilariously I think their…hmmm captor would end up dead with that kind of behavior though. She won’t tolerate them being hurt and vice versa.

Lmao they just completely usurp their captor and..sadly take their role as villain however because it’s what they’ve been taught and groomed for.

Alaluria in particular would be willing if they really played with her arrogance and ambition. The demon in her head tries (and mostly fails since she’s very strong willed) to do that. You can do it better..just get him out of the way..you taught me to be ruthless after all. 

(makes me wonder about an AU where she comes to hate and resent Illidan instead of admire and love him)

Ladelia is the most hungry for love. That’s something you could use against her if you’re an absolutely abhorrent person. She’d want to make their “parental” figure proud and please them so they love her.

Ah it just depends on the captor’s methods. Are they cruel? Are they “kind” to them? You could inspire loyalty and love from them or…hatred and ruthlessness but the latter wouldn’t end in their captor’s favor. However if they went the kindness route they would have three girls absolutely willing to do whatever they wanted.

You know if they wanted to take advantage of three traumatized children (who all have so much potential) and turn them into weapons instead of the people they are in canon (I feel weird calling it canon since obviously ocs aren’t necessarily canon to WoW lore but- nevermind. it doesn’t matter. My canon for them) because my canon girls are deeply flawed who make mistakes but are mostly good people who just want to help and take care of each other okay. 

They have a creator who’s very mean to them

I will say I don’t envy the au where the three of them are villains (or separately but especially together). 

[queenofthefaces]

A long, rambling take on Kyle

Disclaimer: most people who “hate” Kyle don’t like,,,ACTUALLY hate Kyle. From the people I personally associate with, we’re not, like, anti-kyle in the way some people are anti-Cartman. Most of the time, our “hate” of Kyle comes from a place of love and appreciation. It’s also largely in part a reaction to fandom interpretations of Kyle and a rejection of an idealized version of the character in favor of a more nuanced and complex reading/analysis/interpretation.

I drag Kyle to hell and back for two major reasons: 1) I love him and I see a lot of myself in him and 2) fandom tends to misinterpret his character or ignore his flaws

Basically, my two cents: You can be an asshole without being a bad person.

Kyle isn’t INTENTIONALLY an asshole (unlike someone like Cartman or Nathan). Instead, Kyle just has blind spots in his personality.

He’s extremely proud, and his pride can drip into ego, because he’s a legitimately smart person (especially academics wise) but the world in which he lives always validates his intelligence. Therefore, Kyle can overestimate his own knowledge. In their little hick town, he’s probably one of the smartest people, but when faced with things outside of that, he can be ignorant. With Kyle, though, he doesn’t realize he’s ignorant, because he’s simply not used to not having all the information—when he usually does. I used to be the same way when I was his age lol. I was the kid who held traditional academia in high regard, going as far as to correct people’s grammar in conversation (now I realize that language is fake, dialects are valid, and conversational English is different from academic English).

In the show, Kyle is usually right, especially when faced with Cartman who is almost always wrong. Kyle just kind of....assumes he’s right or that he has the right way of thinking/doing things in any situation.

Kyle is a moral person, of course, but his morality can be pretty black and white, and he has a straightforward, logical way of thinking. Therefore, anything that doesn’t align with his logical thought process must be wrong. I’m the same way (though I’m working on it)—if I’m faced with something that doesn’t make sense to me, it is Wrong. (For example, once someone did laundry for me, but when they folded my clothes they put them on my laptop. My brain bypassed the ‘someone did laundry for you’ and just focused on the ‘why did they put the clothes on my laptop’ part.)

So I feel like Kyle, in his logical way of thinking, just won’t really understand other people’s reactions to things. He doesn’t get why stan is so heartbroken about Wendy and thinks he’s overreacting, he doesn’t get why heidi stays with Cartman when Cartman is obviously abusive. Instead of looking at either issue from a different angle, or trying to understand it from the other person’s point of view, kyle looks at it as how he sees it, which can lead him to blaming the victim. Stan was overreacting, and heidi turned into Cartman.

I feel like Kyle, with all his passion, though he genuinely wants to help others, could end up talking over them due to the points listed above. A trait he would’ve gotten from his mother.

Kyle can also get very caught up in his own head and his own wants, which can get in the way of his awareness of other people. Douche and turd for example, Kyle was so caught up in his competition with Cartman he completely ignored Stan’s feelings. In CBAA he knew something was wrong with Cartman’s plan, he knew it was exploitative, and yet he went along with it anyways for selfish purposes (that was the main point of conflict he had with himself in that ep). It was only when stan pointed out that Kyle was defending himself with cartman-esque methods that he realized how much he let himself fall into the delusion.

Kyle’s morality and belief that he is right can also segue into his martyr complex. Kyle thinks he’s the only one smart enough to fix any problem—and the world he lives in SUPPORTS this idea (like in margaritaville, where Kyle LITERALLY was a Christ allegory). This further inflated his ego and leads to his behavior in something like ginger cow, where he’s constantly going on about how great he is, which was the point of the episode—Kyle wasn’t a victim, he brought his suffering on himself when it wasn’t needed because he felt as though he had to be a martyr even when he didn’t have all the facts (the prophecy, which he could’ve just asked about) and then became a self-righteous douche about it. Stan called him out in that episode for it, how people who really do things for the good of others don’t brag about it. They just DO it.

Another example of Kyle doing something for the recognition is in le petit Tourette. When he goes to stop Cartman, he specifically tells Cartman he beat him. As if it were a game or a competition. He BEAT Cartman. He is BEWILDERED when Cartman is happy—why would he be happy? “No, I-I beat you!” If Kyle were really only concerned about Cartman hurting people, he would’ve been happy regardless about how he’d stopped cartman, instead, he repeats how he beat Cartman.

Again, this isn’t to say Kyle didn’t truly want to help or that he didn’t have good intentions—it’s just that Kyle’s competitiveness and desire to be proven right inflates his ego beyond a truly and entirely selfless goal.

Also in s21, it shows how heavily Kyle can let his emotions get in the way of his judgement. Kyle originally sees “wieners out” as a dumb, dangerous/annoying movement and wants to stop it and have the boys make up with the girls again. But once he’s rejected? All of that goes out the window and it’s wieners out. Cartman later calls him out on it, for abandoning his original goals/ideals.

And again, when heidi rejects him, Kyle misdirects his anger onto a different target—Canada and the MAC movement. He is angry and he wants to take it out on something, so he picks a target he can be allowed to be angry at, something “acceptable” to be angry at, that he can validate to himself why his anger is okay in that situation. So Canada gets nuked because Kyle was angry a girl he liked rejected him. When he’s yelling to stan about why his anger at Canada is justified, he specifically brings up heidi, aka, the real reason he started the whole thing, whether he knew it or not.

He could have genuinely believed MAC was the right way to go, but that was because his anger at heidi was clouding his logic, so instead of looking at the situation critically, he took what he believed was the most direct course of action. Which led to Canada getting nuked.

Kyle’s emotions cloud his judgement. And he doesn’t see the errors of his ways until it’s too late.

So with all this? Kyle isn’t a bad person, but that doesn’t mean his flaws won’t cause him to hurt people. After Canada is nuked, no matter how much Kyle regretted it, Ike tells him to stop playing the victim.

Even if you don’t MEAN to hurt someone, you still have to take responsibility for doing so.

Kyle is a good person, but he needs to take responsibility when he inadvertently hurts people.

And again, this is very much like me. I don’t consider myself a bad person, I can be very compassionate, but a blunt way of thinking/speaking, or a lack of understanding in a situation can cause me to hurt people. You can unintentionally be an asshole when you aren’t considerate to other people’s feelings, basically, but that doesn’t mean you’re a bad person or that you mean to act in a way that hurts people.

[nailtea]

Blog Reflection

To you, the person who has come across my blog, 

I started this blog at the beginning of the school year for a class, and I have been making posts every month since. Each and every post I’ve made has allowed me to express myself in different ways, and I’ve even branched out to try new forms of writing that I hadn’t ever tried before. Normally, writing is a bit difficult for me because I can never seem to get my ideas down, but creating different pieces for this blog has made me view writing in a different light. I was allowed to take my time and write about my interests and cool concepts I had - for once, my own ideas. The possibilities were endless. This experience opened my eyes and gave me another creative outlet, a breath of fresh air compared to the usual academic writing that I’ve grown used to. My blog posts, although they were assigned as work, genuinely did not feel like work. I’ve had so many inspirations from my friends and my teachers, they’ve helped me on my creative journey more than they think, and for that I am so incredibly grateful. Thanks to them, I’ve grown more passionate about the things I do and more proud about what I’ve accomplished.  I’d like to think I’ve grown a lot this year, both in academics and as a person, and I have those who have given me nothing but love and support to thank, and I really cannot thank them enough. They have pushed me to be the best that I can be, and I do not know where I’d be without them.  

I’ve spent a lot of time this year trying to figure out my style and what I enjoy doing through experimentation. Posts such as Run-down and a Run-in and Captain’s logs were very fun for me to write and allowed my “voice” to really shine through.  For me, these posts are an example of my improvement as a writer because a lot of the time my writing can seem very stiff; so by practicing with dialogue, I was able to learn how to make things flow naturally. Like it could actually be a real conversation. Because of this blog, I was able to express my creativity not only through writing, but through mindmaps as well. The mindmaps allowed me to depict my thoughts regarding a certain topic through the use of art and experimentation with colors! I was truly able to express myself and my thoughts with the mindmap assignments, and that’s why they’re some of my favorite posts on here! I tried to vary my posts as much as possible, each one talking about a completely different subject than the last to take myself out of my comfort zone. After all, what’s life without a little variety? I can say that it definitely was a challenge, especially the analysis pieces; but challenging as it was, I grew as a writer, and came to realize that it actually wasn’t so bad. It could actually be fun if I gave it a chance! So I did, and the pieces you see on my blog are a result of me overcoming that mental obstacle. I’m glad you, the person who is reading this, get to see my creative growth when looking at these posts. This year has been absolutely crazy, but one thing that has been constant was this blog, and how I could always go back to it and express how I was feeling through a multitude of different mediums. While it may be the end of my time in highschool, it isn’t so for this blog. Maybe I’ll post some things for my personal projects on here in the future. Like I said before, the possibilities are endless. Until next time! Natalie