#for my first time messing with textures like this; i think i did alright!

[zecoritheweirdone]

i was bored, so i made them into cubes

[nomsfaultau]

Hybrid AU in exile week where avian instincts can take over to a degree that is almost horrific, erasing someone’s personality and rationality when they’re panicking. First part here.

Tommy doesn’t preen anymore. And fair enough, really. If Techno got brainwashed (or whatever it was) by his piglin instincts like that, he wouldn’t want to either. As the days crawled past they looked worse and worse, dull and bedraggled. At least Techno had managed to convince Tommy to drink enough health potions to scab over the open wounds, mostly under the threat of potential infection. It helps Techno at least to not see where the lines of the net cut into him. 

Tommy looks like hell. Acts like it, too, this writhing mess of ugly emotions waiting to burst out of him. But the ragged feathers are especially noticeable, growing dull and disheveled the longer he refuses to maintain them. Phil is getting worried. Says properly aligned feathers are crucial for insulation and Tommy is going to end up catching something. And like, being around Tommy is a lot on a good day. Tommy with a cold? Sheesh. Someone's going to have to do something to prevent that, and it looks like it's up to Techno.

“I can’t stop feeling his hands,” Tommy chokes when Techno tries to offer to help groom him. “The ways his fingers stroked through my feathers. I just want to stop feeling it. Or worse, maybe I don’t.”

Techno shifts from hoof to hoof to stop himself from putting it in his mouth. “Would it be better if you did it yourself, then?” 

“...I think I might rip out more feathers if I try.” 

Techno winces, unable to get the image of Tommy clutching bloody fistfuls of his own feathers out of his head. “Maybe if we make it as different as possible it’ll help? Like, I don’t coo, or chirp, or squawk for one.” That had really been the reason they’d decided Techno should offer, since suppressing his coos would be hell for Philza and he didn’t want to shove Tommy deeper into a trance. “And I have hooves instead of fingers, so the texture would be different, right? We could chat the whole time, or you can occupy doing something else. Do it in tiny sections maybe, and stop whenever it’s too much. Just, I don’t want you getting sick, alright? It’s extra dangerous in the arctic.” Though hesitant, Tommy eventually relents. On one condition, of course.

Tommy downs the sleeping potion in one go. Before long, he droops, careful to spread out his wings before he succumbs to slumber. Not that Techno prefers to do it while Tommy sleeps since he won’t know if he accidentally hurts him, but it is the only way Tommy could stomach it. Better than nothing, he supposes. 

Techno pulls out a bottle of some of Phil’s fancy feather oils, sebum or whatever it is. This isn’t his first rodeo, of course, since Phil occasionally asks him to help with a tricky spot since it’s plain easier to have someone else help with grooming. He’s always happy to help out a friend, and Philza really enjoys it. As for Techno…uh. Okay so like he gets social behavior like preen is super big for building bonds etc etc but it doesn’t really do much for him. Which is really awkward given the whole crisis Tommy and Philza are having about it at the moment, since from his perspective he’s been asked to help brush Tommy’s teeth. Like yah he’ll help but? It’s not, like? A big deal?? While everyone around him is treating it like a blessing or a curse. Suuuper awkward. 

He works quickly, quietly, and carefully, straightening out ruffled feathers and smoothing over damage, massaging in oil to keep them soft and waterproof. It is a little satisfying to watch his progress, he has to admit, like that one time Steve had rolled in mud and he’d given the bear a grueling spa day. But the anger of his ruined flower bed doesn’t quite match the fury bubbling in his chest as he tries to smooth out the primaries Tommy’s abuser clipped. It’s all he can see in Tommy’s wings, the ghostly echo of the man who hurt him so deeply. The sheered off flight feathers, ripped out chunks of coverts, little rips from where the net dug in. Maybe he can understand why Tommy refused to love his wings if everything about them screamed his abuser. 

Techno only pauses once when a soft, sleepy coo purrs from Tommy’s throat. And suddenly he gets it. It sounds like pure bliss in a bottle, so sweet and effervescent. It’s echoed by a deep, content rumble, and it takes a second for Techno to realize that’s him making that noise. Self-conscious, he puts a hand over his mouth. He’d…kinda forgotten he can purr. And in context, it’s not good, especially since Tommy’s coos rush out in response. 

Techno weighs what Tommy’s waking reaction may be against his health needs. Then, he pokes Tommy’s cheek. As there is no response, Techno elects to speed run wing hygiene and hope he’s not stepping in trauma somehow. But the purrs reverberating in his chest ease the worried tension knotting his muscles, spurred on by Tommy’s infrequent sleepy coos. It’s almost relaxing, the smooth repetitive motions working through russet wings. 

He carefully scoops up the chick when he’s done, tucking Tommy in his burrow. It’s a bit of a fight to avoid piling him under blankets, but Techno just spent all that work and is not about to mess up the feathers again. He sweeps up the discarded ones, then realizes he has no idea what to do with them since he knows they have weird cultural connotations for avians. Electing to put them in a pile at the bedside, Techno comes to the unfortunate realization that his prime reading spot is occupied. Refusing to let Tommy get in the way of his literature, he crawls into bed as well. Somehow the giant piglin ends up scrunched sitting in the corner while the tiny avian sprawls and takes up more space than conceivable. Even more shockingly, Techno doesn’t mind that much. 

Eventually Tommy yawns and stretches. Techno’s breath hitches in his throat as he sleepily mumbles his abuser’s name. 

“Uh. Nah. It’s Techno. That guy is like, super duper dead.” 

Tommy hums a confused note, then flumps on the mattress. “Good,” he mumbles. Techno releases the breath he’d been holding. “Ha’ a weirddreamm…”

“Nightmare?” he asks cautiously. 

Tommy’s wings flare out, trembling with the stretch, then tuck to his back. “Not really. Was alrigh’ I guess.” He pulls the blankets around without covering himself in an echo of a nest. A little bit of squirming, and his head presses warmly against the side of Techno’s leg. “Havn’t had a good dre- sleep ina while. Was…nice. Thanks, Techno.” He hums again as Techno awkwardly pats his head. Not a coo. This was alright, then.

“Any time, kid.” 

Next >

[bornagainmurdock]

a bit tied up

author's note: always make sure you know some human anatomy before experimenting with bondage! don't want to pinch a nerve or cut off blood flow! also condition your rope, the rope bottom will greatly appreciate it!

contents: 18+ ONLY, smut, matt murdock x reader, gender neutral reader, gentle softdom!matt, bondage, cuffs, experimenting so very lighthearted and giggly, subspace, use of "sir," no sex, aftercare

work count: 1.9k

Matt wasn't hesitant to get you whatever you wanted; last week's want was bondage, and so Matt ordered some rope and ribbons and cuffs to get started. And luckily for him, today they were delivered. Matt made sure he made it home in time to grab the package before you could. He was excited and bubbly, unable to stop smiling.

When you walked through the front door, you shouted his direction to find him giddy on the bed with a bag behind him with your name on it. He lifted his face towards yours and pushed the box into your hands and waited, bouncing and giggling, but patient enough for you to lift the lid to his suprise: the best night of your life.

Inside, the treasures you had been waiting for. The top of the pile was handcrafted leather cuffs with buckles and D rings for the chain between them to hold on. Under it was a bundle of black cotton, but highly textured, rope, and a bundle of white thick ribbon. You squealed as you pulled everything out of the box, pushing Matt down onto the bed, kissing him until he was a giggly mess under you.

"So what do you think sweetheart? Wanna try them out?"

"Right now?"

"Right now." He flipped you over so you were under him now, arms holding himself up planted next to your head, muscles pulsating and veins showing themselves through his skin. "Lemme see those wrists."

You held out your hands to him as he moved to sit on top of your pelvis, balancing there enough to grab the cuffs. He unbuckled them exposing the felt lining interior to you for the first time.

Matt was slow and gentle looking for any sign of hesitancy or fear. Giving up control of your body wasn't something to be taken lightly; he knew that.

"Safeword and traffic light system?"

"Safeword is book, green for all good, yellow for stop or slow down, red for stop straight to aftercare." Matt felt you wriggling under him. Impatience and excitement flooded your body, eyes already getting glassy.

"And because we haven't done this before, I'm going to check in more often. Understood?"

"Yes Sir." You said with a smirk.

"Just the cuffs tonight. I gotta learn some ties before we do any of that other stuff."

---

Matt spent the next week listening to videos and guides about bondage and rope play. He practiced ties on himself when he could so he would have a better understanding of the body positioning and feel of the rope on his skin. Matt also experimented with wearability of the ropes, sometimes tying himself a harness in the morning and wearing it under his work clothes all day. He would deny enjoying it though, no matter how much he missed it when he untangled it all from his body.

After absorbing as much information as possible, Matt invited you over for dinner. But you knew it was a ruse. He tried to keep all the learning, all the workships he listened to, all the times he tied ropes upon himself, but he was weak when it came to you. Over dinner he told you everything he learned: anatomy, ties, how to condition the rope, the differences and similarities between shibari and restrictive bondage, everything.

"Did you invite me over just to tie me up?"

"Well not just to tie you up, I also wanted to teach you some ties, too."

"Sounds like my Matt Murdock, tempting me with food as a coverup to be a whore." He laughed with you clearing the plates from the table.

"You know me so well." Matt took your hand to pull you from your chair, holding you in his arms rocking gently back and forth.

"You're not even going to offer dessert?"

"Oh you'll get your dessert alright." His sentence ended with a slap to your ass, encouraging you to walk forward into the bedroom.

When you passed through the doorway, you stopped, letting Matt pass you and walk to open his closet. He pulled the bundle of rope out, gently braided among itself to prevent tangling.

"Did you know you're supposed to condition your rope? It's supposed to make it less carpet burn-y and more pressure-y." He was walking around organizing things while talking.

You stood watching, feeling the tension shift from lighthearted to more serious. Matt set a pair of scissors on the bedside table next to a half-drank water bottle and bowl of your favorite snacks.

"Did you also know that bondage has the ability to send someone off really far into subspace? And, that it can cause pretty severe brain chemical crashes? The things you learn while watching someone get tied up. You wouldn't believe." He gestured towards the bed, reaching for you to lay you down.

"Strip for me. Whatever feels most comfortable right now. Thought we could try some ties and you can tell me what you prefer. Hmm?" He was towering over you, still in his suit, as you sat down on the bed removing some of your clothes.

"For our safety, I have scissors close in case we need them. I want you to feel safe and grounded and present while we do this so you can figure out what you like. So please let me know if something's not working." He began to undo the rope bundle.

"I'm gonna start with a series of single column ties to warm you up." Matt was gentle with your body, helping you lay down on the bed and find where it was most comfortable. Even if he hadn't been hovering over you, the scent of him was overwhelming and exciting. It smothered you and sent you into a state of focus, honning in on the feeling of the sheets against your back.

Matt began the tie on your upper right arm, moving slowly and carefully. He would trace his fingers over the 'knots' to make sure they had settled correctly against your skin.

When he got to your wrist, he traced over the rope in its entirity appreciating his work. The rope felt warm against your skin, and just tight enough to absorb the pressure without feeling claustrophobic.

"Do you wanna try something more intense?"

You nodded eagerly.

"Words."

"Yes, Matt please."

He undid the tie with a single movement. Feeling it glide over your skin and watching it unravel was enough to make you moan into the silence.

Matt laughed at your moment of desparation and grabbed at your shoulders to sit you up in front of him.

"Okay next, I'm going to do the chest harness that I've been wearing to work."

"The what Matt?"

"Nothing."

His fingers were quick, throwing dozens of feet of rope around your body effortlessly until it was complete. He tucked the final end in and admired his work with his hands.

"You've been wearing this to work?" You were breathless. The feeling of rope against your skin was gradually becoming empty-brained throughout the process of being tied up. Matt could tell by your lackadasical breathing pattern and heartrate and the way your hands were grabbing at the duvet under you.

"Stay with me, love. What do you think of this?"

He grabbed the section at your diaphram and tugged. It was intoxicating. So much so you choked on your own spit.

"I'll take that as a yes. Do you wanna stay here for a bit?"

"Yes please."

He moved to sit behind you adjusting the ropes to focus the pressure on specific points.

It could have been minutes or hours, but you were gone: eyes glassy, hands reaching for him and tears sinking down your face.

Matt called this finding heaven, watching you fall apart for him so easily. He knew it was trust based. He knew he, and only he, could do this to you.

When Matt had finally had enough of sending you deeper into subspace, his hands returned to the end of the robe and began to untangle the loops.

You whined in response, but knew that this meant you got to try a new tie once this one was done.

"Can we try something even more intense?"

"Yes. Please, I'm feeling so good Matt."

He felt the blissed-out warmth spread throughout your body like electricity. When all the rope was pulled from your body he repositioned you so you were sat criss-cross in front of him.

"Okay, place your hands flat together as close as you can get both of your arms."

It took a minute for his words to become coherent, but you moved precisely where he wanted you.

"Alright I'm gonna start here, and then bind your hands together with only a bit of wiggle room. Are you ready?"

"Yes Sir."

He took his time, always double checking each step, feeling you melt under his touch. He would pull the rope taught and then check each wrap around for enough space for two fingers under it.

He began to hum to you, sending dopamine straight to your brain making you dizzy. Matt caressed the skin of your arms every so often to help you stay grounded there with him, but it was firey, like he was burning up.

When Matt finished the tie, he sat back to let you breathe into the feeling of the restraint. He felt the aura shift from impatience to joy. Your body melted into the bed, and into Matt, and into the rope and you felt every second as if it was years long.

Matt smiled before reaching for your hands. He grabbed the center where the central loops were and tugged. Your arms followed wherever he pulled, shifting you entire body around with him.

"How does it feel?"

"Like I'm floating."

And you were right. Matt could tell you were in space dancing with the stars. He let go of the tie and grabbed your hips using your center of gravity to pull you onto him. He wiggled until you were laying next to him arms above you, body limp to his touch.

"Just my little plaything, hmm?"

He tugged and pulled and forced you to move under his hold over and over until you were too far gone to remember how to speak. When Matt decided enough was enough, he started the process of untying you.

He kissed over the indents of the rope, leaving wet marks to help cool your skin. It was intense and overwhelming and Matt was there the whole time shh-ing you, whispering praise into your raw skin until it was rosy again.

One second he was there over you, and the next gone, and the next holding water up towards your mouth, and the next pressing goldfish crackers to your lips reminding your to chew.

When you finally regained access to language, he started his questioning.

"Okay. What did you think? How was it? Do you want to do it again?"

"Again? Like right now?" You were still in a daze, struggling to fidn reality still.

"No, honeybee. Like soon, another time."

"Mmhm. You could do it again in 20 minutes if you really wanted to."

"That excited, hmm?"

"It was one of the best things we've ever tried?"

"Better than that vibe I bought you."

"Don't push it Matthew." You said with a smirk.

He kept feeding you until all the color was back in your cheeks.

Matt kissed your forehead and held you for a while until he started getting sleepy.

"So about you wearing the harness to work?"

"Don't push it."

[squircatlies]

Today is the day I unleash my Mr. Bonzo fanart upon this webbed site.

This post is relatively safe up until the cut.

Is the *tips fedora* meme over a decade old? Yes. Do I care? No, absolutely not.

~

Now this is where I recommend "getting off" this post to anyone bothered by graphic depictions of body horror, blood, violence, or Mr. Bonzo (monster, not mascot like above).

I know the first image is silly, but I cannot stress enough how serious I am when I say:

Proceed at your own risk.

Now that you have chosen to continue, I have arranged the images in order of least to most vile and disturbing (though that might be slightly subjective on my part).

Remember that you can click off this post at any time.

Final warning: split tongue Bonzo.

I tried channeling Julia Drawfee with the lineart a little bit. Didn't feel like shading that one, so it's a bit flat.

Where did I lose my colours? Plot twist: the first image in this post is actually the last I've made, so technically I gained the colours. I wanted it to have more of a cheery vibe, unlike the ones under the cut, which I wanted to be kinda dreary and I feel like adding too much colour can mess that up.

Alright, I'll address the tongue. Remember how his head splits in tmagp 12? Yeah, it's a nod to that and also I asked myself "how do I make his design worse than it already is?" and that's the only answer I could come up with. I debated adding stitches connesting the two halves of the tongue but couldn't figure out how, so you're welcome. It will be present in all the upcoming drawings as well.

~

The next one is bloody, but it's not that much worse than the previous one overall.

I was playing with filters after I was done with this piece, because I felt like it lacked something, but didn't know what. Really liked this one, I think it's some sort of a gradient map. It pixelised the image and adjusted the colours a bit, it also really made the blood pop out, though it covered up some of the details.

Why did he lose his hat? It's stupid and hard to draw.

You may have noticed the artstyle change a little, the previous images having neat lineart and little to no shading. That's because I am using different tools, sketchy and soft brushes, that allow me to experiment with lighting and textures more (plus the aforementioned filter altering the image even further).

~

Alright, I feel like this last image deserves a separate warning. It references episode 12 (spoiler ahead), specifically the moment before the bartender loses a hand, though it's not entirely accurate. It's rendered in more detail than any of the previous images, so keep that in mind before scrolling down.

Basically it's pov: Bonzo licks your hand.

I feel like I could've made his tongue bigger in this one, it seems kinda small compared to his mouth. I really like how the skin on his face ended up looking. It took a lot of work.

The spit makes it look weirdly sexual, doesn't it? Listen, that was not my intention, but I'm not erasing it. I set out to make the worst thing I could and, though not without cost, I have achieved it.

I tried splattering Bonzo in blood, but it wasn't really working for me and it covered up a lot of the detail I liked, so I just put it in the background.

The human hand is drawn from reference, which I found by googling "hand reaching out away from the viewer". And let me tell you: google is shit at looking for drawing references, but I figured it was just going to be a sketch to explore an idea, so I didn't bother trying to get a better one. And then I fixated on it for a couple hours, you know, like a normal person.

I literally (and I mean no exaggeration) dusted off my drawing tablet after a few months of no use to spend the entire weekend, after tmagp 12 came out, glued to the screen making those images, except for the b'onzo one, which I made this evening.

Just to clarify: I drew all of those by myself. No filthy AI image generation is allowed in this house. I am capable of committing far greater sins than an artificial intelligence ever will.

The only thing left here is to extend my sincere congratulations/condolences to whoever got this far. It's up to you to either think you're brave or realise that you're foolish for doing so, but be comforted by the fact that at least you didn't make this post, which I cannot say for myself.

[rustycopper4use]

OOOOO THAT’S SO COOL!!! I saw Hermes when I looked in the asmr tag for the literal first time and was like. stunned. The design itself is GORGEOUS (I’m a HUGE humanoid-with-animal/monster-body-parts (is there a name for that??) fan) and I didn’t know this was a thing? It’s super unique and I love it DHDHSKS. If you ever get the time I’d love to hear more about these guys or any other ocs you have!! :D

-🪼 (signing off as an anon even though I just followed you LMAO- anyway hiii, nice to meet you :D !!)

ALRIGHT SORRY FIR TYE WAIT

here’s my lecture over my listeners

first up is Hermes he’s the second listener I first design (before I started posting)

This was his orginal design! When first drawing him I thought squid guy(I can’t remember his name for the life of me rn) was the love interest.

Hermes was intented to be mostly fish like and a more confident personality to counteract squids personality

but the notion of Hermes/paradise is just some weird guy with hospital trauma and mother issues was too tempting.

his character as a whole is just basically my own medical trauma.

I like to think with all the different species in his genes that it messed up his immune system and his general body functions

In this case he would constantly get sick and have Cronic stomach issues.

along side he’d have terrible eyesight + astigmatism and like mild breathing issues

his skin reaction to outside damage is quite odd, ever time his body sustained mild injuries his skin repairs itself but changes the way the skin look (ie colour or texture)

however the more extreme cases his skin will become the exact opposite it once was. Example if the patch of skin is scaly it will now become a soft fuzzy feel.

Furthermore the body has a limited amount of change to fix damaged skin/muscle and bone.

think of a hand of cards if the body puts down all of its cards over the extended period of time that area of skin will not repair. Regardless of healing abilities from others, white blood cells that chunk of skin will not heal.

so there is the possibility that Hermes’ could have bone or muscle showing but it hasn’t happened yet.

He wears compression wear to help blood flow through his body.

when choosing his name I did intend to make his name Hermes’ but I thought it be too on the nose but I ended really liking it!

Hermes mom, Arkoff, always gave me a feeling that she treated him more like a pet then anything.

THABKS 🪼 Anon! I will do the others in due time

[cloudcountry]

🍴 -- culinary cricuble . . . all sugared up! vignette part one

Ghost Chef: Auburn, you’re going to be making a strawberry cream tart. Do you have much experience baking?

Auburn: Not really? I mean, I helped out at home sometimes, but I mostly cooked for myself. I never really baked for myself.

Ghost Chef: That’s completely fine! This course is intended for beginners, so don’t worry about messing up. Just do your best and you’ll be okay!

Auburn: I’ll definitely try my best!

Ghost Chef: Alright, let’s get started! First you have to add the flour, sugar, and cornstarch into the bowl of this food processor here.

Auburn: Oh, my dad used to use this all the time!

Ghost Chef: So you’re familiar! Good!

Auburn: Let’s see, um...okay, done!

Ghost Chef: Good job! Now make sure you pulse them until they’re combined.

Auburn: ...Pulse?

Ghost Chef: It’s just to mix them together. See? There’s a button for it.

Auburn: Okay!

Auburn: (Man...I’m glad they don’t think my questions are stupid questions...I wouldn’t want to ask anything at all if that was the case.)

Auburn: (I mean, I feel awkward enough asking anyway. I wish Rubia was here. That would make things easier, she’d just see my confusion and ask for me.)

Auburn: (Mmm, but wait, no. I need to do these things by myself, I’m not a baby. I’m perfectly capable of asking questions and stuff. I just did it.)

Ghost Chef: Auburn, that’s good!

Auburn: Oh! Right!

Ghost Chef: Now add the butter and your vanilla before pulsing again. You should wait until you get a more crumbly texture for the dough.

Auburn: Yes sir!

Auburn: (Man, I’m so spacey. At least it’s relatively quiet aside from the loud whirring of the food processor...I’d feel bad if I asked him to repeat himself over and over.)

Auburn: (I wish I could hear better smh.)

Ghost Chef: Once your dough has that texture, you should press it evenly throughout this pan. Make sure you cover the bottom and the sides as best as you can!

Auburn: I know how to do that at least!

Ghost Chef: Good, good. Not bad at all. Now, you want to bake it in the oven for about 20 minutes.

Auburn: You bake the crust without the filling...?

Auburn: (That was a dumb question if I’ve ever heard one...I am so ashamed of my ignorance. UGHHH.)

Ghost Chef: Most recipes for tarts will have you bake the crust before you add the filling, yes! This is so the final product doesn’t taste bad or is soggy.

Auburn: You know, in hindsight that makes sense. Sorry, I really didn’t do any baking like this back home OR here so I have no idea what I’m doing.

Auburn: (Rubia and I only ever made, like, cookies and fruit stuff when we hung out. Nothing like this!)

Ghost Chef: That’s perfectly fine! No question is a dumb question in this kitchen!

Auburn: (That’s a relief...if only the other teachers were this nice.)

Auburn: (Vargas would have made me run like twenty laps for that.)

Ghost Chef: Now, after the tart crust is out of the oven, you’ll have to let it cool for a while. While it’s cooling, you should start preparing the filling. For now, I’ll let you start the clean-up process!

Auburn: Oh...right, preparing the filling will use even more dishes, and then the kitchen will become a mess in no time flat.

Ghost Chef: Bahaha! If that’s not the truest thing I’ve ever heard!

Auburn: Ah ha ha...

Ghost Chef: Well, get cleaning Auburn! I trust you’ll do a fine job?

Auburn: (Think of it like the times you helped out at the Mostro Lounge. Think of it like Azul is insisting he pay you even though you never asked him too.)

Auburn: (Man, I don’t even officially work there. Why did he pay me? I just wanted to help out...maybe I should actually get a job there.)

Auburn: (Actually, that’s a really good idea!? Why didn’t I think of that before?)

Auburn: (I don’t think Azul would consider it for a second though...I don’t have any identification or credentials.)

Auburn: (...Well, there’s no way to know for sure unless I ask, even though that would be one hell of a conversation.)

Auburn: Yeah, I’ve got it. Leave it to me.

Auburn: (I’ll make it cleaner than it was before I used it. I’ve always been thorough about these things.)

[a-big-mess-of-a-person]

Hello, my name is Big Mess of a Person, and here is some reasons I think I'm autistic.

If you have autism, please skim this? (Or read it in massive depth if you want) and please just let me know what you think. I really want more opinions.

Notes, before we get into it

- All of this is speculation. These are all things that I have noticed that some of my autistic friends do, that I also do

-While I don't have an autism diagnosis, I am diagnosed with ADHD, and it is very severe. I know they share a few traits so I have really just convinced myself it's my ADHD and nothing else. I am at a point where I want other people's opinions

- I am aware that having just a few of these traits does not mean I am autistic. I am making this post to mainly ask autistic people what they think. I want more opinions before I talk to my parents about it (my dad will not be super willing to get me tested)

- I know that if I do have autism, it is not very severe. I know it's easy to say that we would've known if it was 'bad' enough but it would not surprise me if we missed this for 16 years. My ADHD hit us straight in the face for 14 years and no one had any idea until we talked to my doctor

Alright, time to type it all out (yay.)

1. If people touch or move my things, it is very possible I will break down in one of two ways depending on how I'm feeling that day. I will either want to scream or break down and weep. Example(s)

- My grandfather came over this weekend while I went to his house. He stayed in my room. (As much as I love him, I did not want him in my room, I asked if we could offer him my sister's room (she's away at college) but he chose my room and he was helping us so I had to deal with it) He knocked over two of my Monster High dolls, and he put them back where they went, but just seeing them messed with and not how I put them made me want to cry. This combined with everything else that was going on made me have what I think was a meltdown. (You will get more context to last night as we go on)

- Despite us changing the sheets, just seeing my bed not how I have it made me also want to cry. It didn't feel like it was my bed anymore. We fixed it, but my room doesn't feel like my room. This is a stupid way to put it, but it's accurate, the vibe is off. It's not the vibe of my bedroom. So it doesn't feel like my room. I wanted to cry (spoiler alert, I did cry)

- This combines #1 and #2, #2 already had a lot of examples so im putting it here. My hands have been really dry recently and so I got this moisturizer. I forgot to bring it to my grandma's so my hands have been extremely dry and cracky which makes me want to die within itself, but that's not the point right now. Because we are redoing the bathroom, my hand moisturizer has been moved to an unknown location so I had to use one that has the wrong texture, feeling and smell.

2. I have very bad texture/smell/feeling(?) problems. The word is sensory. It's like an hour after I first wrote this. The word I was looking for is sensory. Example(s)

- I am a known sock hater and it's because they sometimes feel loose around my ankles. Anything loose around my ankles makes me want to scream and cry all at the same time. This has been true my entire life. It's why I don't wear certain shoes, or certain pants. If there is anything near my ankles it has to be an even pressure, or nothing at all

- Anything on my hands that is not meant to be there makes my blood boil. I need to wash it off as soon as possible. Even unsolicited water makes me feel like this. My hands can't be wet (or anything else) without me wanting them to be or else I lose my mind

- Anything on the bottoms of my feet (like dust, dirt, random shit on the floor) makes me feel very uncomfortable and I want to cry. An example from last night is the dust that covers my bathroom floor right now because we are redoing it. There is construction dust covering my floors (every damn room in the house) and the idea of walking into my bedroom with my feet covered in this dust made me freak out. I was nearly in tears. I was so upset that I froze. I couldn't move or speak or anything without wanting to cry even more. I had to walk back into the bathroom and get a wet cloth then walk on the sides of my feet till I could sit on the edge of my bed, then I wiped my feet off. Now, if I have to leave my bed or couch, I am putting my slippers on. There's a lot more that I'm not typing, that I think is necessary, but it would be so much more and I'm not good at typing so it probably wouldn't make sense anyway

- Right now my scalp makes me want to scream. Because of the bathroom being redone right now, we can't shower. (part of the reason I went to my grandmas house) I showered before I came home yesterday but I used the wrong shampoo and conditioner, so my hair looks like shit. I needed to go to school today so I woke up and dry shampooed it so I didn't look like a greasy mess. Normally I can deal with the texture being wrong, and the horrible smell that bubbles around me all day, and the cloudy look it gives me hair, but after everything else I could not do it today and so I started crying, which is why I am even typing this right now, because I'm not going to school today. So it was for nothing and now my hair feels bad and I still cant shower and I am probably gonna have to do it again tomorrow or use the sink to shampoo and condition my hair

3. I go into stretches where I am almost completely non verbal. If I am overwhelmed or anything I can go into stretches where I don't speak, or interact with anyone. People touching me makes me feel worse and it's hard to tell them to stop without yelling or seeming mad. It makes me feel really shitty because it's not always their fault, but I snap at them anyway. I am often very shaky during this and it's hard for me to use my arms and legs to move or hold things. I don't have any specific examples right now, but I will add them if I find some (It's really just as I typed it though)

4. This one I'm a bit unsure if this is autism, or just me being weird, but I am very good with sympathy, and I lack empathy. I can very well feel bad for someone, feel sorry for them, and i often give people the benefit of a doubt when I don't know their situation, but I don't feel bad for that long? I don't feel it with them. This doesn't mean I think they shouldn't feel that way, I understand why they do, I just don't feel that way. I think I need some examples to explain this one so, Example(s)

- Let's say someone is in a car ahead of me. They are driving slow and maybe not doing everything they should be. While my mom who's driving gets slightly annoyed and huffy, I think "what if they are a new driver? I know what it's like to be a new driver and I know I wouldn't be doing it on purpose" then I am ok being behind a slower car (this is one side of the coin)

- Lets say my friend got into an argument with her dad last night. She tells me how it makes her feel. While I am sorry that she got into an argument, and I do feel bad, it's not taking up any of my mental space. I will understand if she is off, but I don't feel any level of "feeling what she's feeling" even though I am very familiar with getting into upsetting arguments with my own dad.

- This is very similar to the last but still different so I'm giving it a category. Let's say my friend tells me about something bad that happened in their life. I don't think about it all the time. It doesn't affect me in any way. Though if I were to tell my friend about the same thing she acts like it affects her personally

This friend I am talking about is a very sympathetic and empathetic person, so maybe I just don't relate to it like she does and it makes me feel like something is wrong with me even though we are just different. I think the gist is, I don't understand that type of feeling well. Even if I have experience in the situation, I don't relate it and hold onto it. I may make the connection, but then that's it. While I feel bad for them, and understand why they may be acting different, it doesn't affect me or bother me. It takes up no space in my head. It's not that I don't care, but it just doesn't stick in my mind. I am really unsure if this is autism or not? I know having autism messes with perceiving feelings and emotions from others so I'm putting this just in case. Speaking of perceiving feelings and emotions from others, that moves us to #5!

5. This may be a normie thing that I just don't know is a normie thing but better be safe than sorry. I am hyper aware of how other people in the room feel. I know autism can include not reading the room well but I've heard that it can also be reading the room REALLY well. Example(s)

- I can walk into a room and understand how everyone is feeling. I am really good at reading body language and listening to tone of voice. If this is something that could be autism, I think it is part of the reason it has taken this long for anyone to realize I might have it. I am good at reading body language and tone of voice, so I am good at using it to portray how I feel (and to cover up how I feel). I am constantly changing how I say things and changing my hang gestures and the way I am holding myself to portray the emotions I want people to read.

I have no idea if that is autism, but I think it could be. So here, have it, I guess

6. I know a lot of people with autism fidget, and this is similar? I don't know what it's called (if it even has a name) but when an autistic person will like, express a big emotion through body language. Like, jumping when excited, or shaking hands when nervous. That thing? I don't know what it's called and I hate describing it in a way that makes it seem minimal and I feel like the description I just gave definitely makes it seem minimal. I'm not trying to do that, I just don't know what it's called. Anyway, here's what I mean? Example(s)

- I will shake my hands when I am nervous. I shake them like I'm trying to get water off of them

- I crack my knuckles under high pressure situations or when I'm nervous

- If I get really excited I will usually jump or kinda run in place?

I feel like the way I am describing this one is off somehow. I don't know how, but from my perspective I feel like I'm objectifying this? I don't know if I am. But I'm honestly not trying to do this I just don't know how else to type it. It's a sensory thing, I know that, I just don't know how to explain it? I'm gonna move on from this.

Ok, this is all of the reason I can think of right now. I'm sure there's more, and I will update this as needed. It's taken me like two hours to type all this out, so I'm done for now.

If anyone actually reads this and has feedback thank you. I appreciate it. I hope I didn't do anything that is considered bad to do. I'm not trying to. I'm not normally on this side of Tumblr. I don't even know if "this side" exists!

I'm gonna use tags to try and get people to see this, so, sorry if I use the wrong tags. I don't know what the correct ones would be. Sorry if the tags are weird. I want people to see this. I really need advice and other opinions. I'm not trying to self diagnose with the tags, I just want people to see this.

Sorry if I'm acting weird in this. I feel very bad right now. I don't feel like my normal self probably because of everything that happened last night. (I didn't cover even half of it)

Ok, done for now. I will reblog with new thoughts as they arrive.

[dinoburger]

a couple folks who watched me mess around with crafts and amateur mask making thought I should document the process, idk if anyone would be interested in all that here, but it was a process alright.

I wanted to try to do it as cheap as possible while trying to aim for the best quality I could, most of what I bought for it was just a styrofoam head to build off as a base, some cheap plasticine that feels nasty and greasy and smells unpleasant but it's reusable at least, some plaster, PVA glue and some little tubs of glaze and gesso.

I decided I was going to try using that diy recycled craft paper I've seen people make so that was a whole tangent. I never liked that newspaper strips as paper mache just kind of peel and make things nasty, which isn't what I wanted. I figured not having a grain in the same way, being softer and more pliable would be the advantage of diy paper.

I made a deckle and mould by dismantling a shallow rectangular jewelry box I picked up off the side of the road with a hammer - pretty, uhm, roughly, I only meant to take the bottom out of the box and the top out of the lid so I'd have two matching frames, but kind of smashed it to bits, I found a bunch of bulldog clips to hold it back together. The rig works, but it's chaotic at best, hahaha

I absolutely wasn't going to use the blender for making paper pulp, I found a beat up old stick mixer that broken down entirely not long after I'd started using it. I mainly made my pulp by squashing it up with my hands after letting it soak for 12 hours, which took at least a couple of hours to do myself. I tried also mashing it up like how the ancient Greeks made wine: by putting it in a tub and stomping, but I can't say that was particularly effective and mostly it made an ungodly mess.

So, I built my mask's face off the styrofoam head and cast it in plaster, which worked well except that the nose broke. Combination of not using enough to reinforce that area and the fact that I used a strip of cardboard to support the plasticine I built up for the nose, and it absorbed the dampness of the wet plaster and kind of... exacerbated the problem I think by making it structurally less stable.

The casting tutorial suggested vaseline to grease the inside of the mold but I wasn't sure we had any so I substituted with a chunk of soap I cut off a bar and made into a paste. I think that worked fine.

my first cast wasn't great, I pulled the mask out too quickly and the texture of all the paper that was stuck to the inside and then quickly stuck back to the mask lost a lot of the details. I also tried building up some of the damaged parts with this one - definitely better to cast well the first time than try to fix a botched mask, it lost even more integrity because of how the wet paper being added and extra weight made it lose shape. The whole bridge of the nose kind of collapsed in on itself.

The second cast I did with pure paper pulp since I had lots of it left, and it crumbled apart when I pulled it out, but even the chunks of it I had were much more promising - they felt smooth and got more of the details of the wrinkles in the plaster mould.

Third one is the one in the post linked above, a layer of pulp followed by diy paper strips... idk what it is, you'd expect it to be sort of similar since one is just dried out paper pulp, but something about the process of letting it form a kind of membrane on the surface of the deckle before drying it gives it a more cohesive quality. I used plenty of paste in this run too.

The nose unfortunately still had to be rebuilt at the tip but I was cautious not to get any of the other bits of the mask wet. I think 48 hours is probably like, Bare Minimum for drying time, especially for more porous materials - I'm currently drying a fifth one, the fourth was cast with pulp I made from bark just for the hell of it, and it was still pretty damp even after sitting it in front of the gas heater on and off for 2 days. I mean hell, I have the mould now, might as well use it.

I also tried to recast the nose so we'll see if that works, it wasn't too much of an ordeal to stick some plasticine in there and try to reshape it.

The first cast also ended up being my decorating test run, I wanted to see if just glazing over sharpie instead of painting would work - it's alright, but there's probably better techniques. The thing about drawing anything elaborate directly onto the mask is that it's hard to get pen into the wrinkles, you're better drawing on paper separately and decoupaging it on I reckon.

Oh, did you know sharpie marker bleeds through gesso and acrylic paint? I've tried to paint over stuff and it always kind of amazes me how penetrative alcoholic pen marks are when the paint dries, even when applied really thick.

I managed to draw on the gold lines with metallic sharpie in my first run but it didn't work the second time - I think drawing over paint might have damaged the marker? - so I sort of improvised with the metallic string. My mum likes collecting ribbons and strings and coloured paper for gifts so I nicked a bunch of those things. The pansy bead on the forehead came from a button shop and the tiny one on the bridge of the nose actually came from my great grandmother's collection of beads that I inherited :')

Ah, and the staining - before I went over with a medium gloss glaze I tried to get that, what is it, distressed? varnished? that kind of darker brown that makes the masks look aged and gets into the crevices, emphasizing the wrinkles very nicely. I tried tea and coffee as a kind of stain, the coffee worked a lot better - there's still some grains stuck around the mask's cheek, haha. I also used the coffee to stain the skewers I'm thinking of using for quills (they aren't completely stuck on yet.

The thread is partially pushed through the mask to keep it in place and make sure it doesn't just peel off, I used pins to pin it to the mask and pva glue to keep it in position, removing the pins after it dried. I stitched the ribbon onto the back before I glued it down and sealed it all over with gesso. I'm not 100% on how sturdy it is but I'm hoping it holds.

... I think that's where I'm at with it so far, I might decorate the "quills" more with beads or something. idk yet.

[vessel214]

some art progression thing

i wanna look at how my art has changed over the span of about a year (a bit less but close enough) by talking about what i consider key parts of my progress. sooo lets go

also i will only be writing about my human drawings cuz ive been drawing dragons my entire life but only started drawing humans in 2021 i think

(long post sorry)

"kennith simmons"

first time posting art, first posted to reddit. i didnt give this one a title or anything i just called it kennith simmons. this method of toning was continuously used throughout most of my sketchbook drawings. drawn using pc, autodesk sketchbook (now known as just sketchbook), & mouse. not quite sure when i drew it but it was posted to reddit on the 28th of july 2023 so around then i think

(blood/sh warning)

"kennith again"

one of my first times attempting a front view i think?? at least, this is the earliest one i can find. i was pretty proud of it at the time. drawn using pc, sketchbook, mouse. posted september 7th 2023

"tongue"

i included this one because it was when i started to figure out how to do whatever the hell i did with the cup there idk what to call it but yk what i mean. drawn using pc, sketchbook, mouse. posted 27th september 2023

"a smile a day keeps the doctor away"

gave colour theory a try here, its not great but its a start. this one is pretty unlike any other ive done before and it took me a while to figure out how to do the hands and mouth like that (even though it still doesnt look right). the main reason i included this one is because of the background; i chose it because it reminds me alot of my favourite surrealism artworks, and i continued to use backgrounds like this in certain pieces, including a much more recent one!

"hi" (called "something or other" on reddit)

first time using an overlay of any kind- this is just a simple red one. i didnt figure out i could use other things like noise until later. I also tried to tone this one using just. a bunch of black lines rather than colours. drawn using pc, sketchbook, mouse. posted october 21st 2023

"messing with my head"

this was my first one drawn in krita! i really liked the various brush textures and stuff so i decided to go all out with this one. also attempted a bit more colour theory. drawn using pc, krita, mouse. posted october 23rd 2023

"nobody smiles like ray barnett"

i honestly dont have much to say about this one asides from the fact that i really like the toning method i used and i wanna use it again but i keep forgetting. also the lil shiny eye thing i still use that alot. and!! i believe this was my first time using noise overlay. drawn using pc, krita, mouse. posted october 29th 2023

"ponder"

possibly my favourite "old" artwork of mine

crosshatching!! i love crosshatching and i'd like to use that more often too. this one is old but i still really like it, especially the way i drew their teeth. also!! i used the background from the other one again. drawn using pc, krita, mouse. posted november 19th, 2023.

"fool's gold"

this one is special because its the first one i posted that was drawn with a drawing tablet! (it's actually not, but we dont talk about the real first one. i dont like it. at all.)

also, first time using a colour pallete which wasnt just the colours the characters canonically used. other then that i dont really have much to say about this one asides from i used crosshatching again too. drawn using pc, krita, wacom tablet, mouse. posted december 7th, 2023

"Best Friends"

1st posted drawing of 2024

i like this one alot still, it was my first time trying lineless art and i think it turned out alright. i also consider it significant because i still continue to use this eye shape in certain drawings. drawn using pc, krita, wacom tablet, mouse. posted january 2th 2024

"spoilers paper doll"

this was my first time making a paper doll and i think i could have done alot better but tbh this one was more about "finish before 2024" (i started it on the 31st of december) rather than "make this as good as possible". made with pens, pencils, beads, string, scissors. posted january 6th 2024

"creature"

i still like this one, particularly the way i toned it (if you can either consider that toning idk) as well as the way i drew the mouth. i dont think ive ever revealed as much gums as that in any of my drawings but i think its pretty cool.

the most important thing about it is i believe it's the first time i used this particular brush, and good LORD it is still my favourite brush ever. i dont think i will ever stop using it.

drawn using pc, krita, wacom tablet, mouse. posted january 30th, 2024

"unnamed aoapp fanart"

similar to the last one, but more. i also used that eye shape again here as well as a different pupil. and the cake. idk how to draw cake tbh. but i think it looks decent. it was also tough to achieve that body shape with all the other stuff going on. i really like the way i toned this tbh. drawn using pc, krita, wacom tablet, mouse. posted february 9th, 2024

"yes"

okok so this is where shit really started to change. this was my first lord of the flies fanart, and the weirdest thing about it? I DIDNT USE THE FUCKIGN SPAMTON NOSE (excluding my nathan & spoilers drawings). not a fan of how i drew the nose in this one either way but still. wow. i always considered the "spamton nose" a signature part of my style but i decided to just drop it in this one lmao. drawn using pc, krita, wacom tablet, mouse. posted march 3rd, 2024

"jack part 2"

okay nevermind the nose is back lmao. nothing to say about this one other then that tbh, it was just an experimental thing because i was bored and wanted to see how he would look in my usual style. i hate it tbh but it was still kinda fun. drawn using pc, krita, wacom tablet, mouse. posted march 9th 2024

"ralph and jack"

woah fullbody drawings. while im not super fond of the drawings themselves i do really like the pencil and crosshatching, i think it looks nice and would like to do it again at some point. now that im looking at it again i am making a mental note to work on my anatomy. drawn using pc, krita, wacom tablet, mouse. posted march 11th 2024

didnt name this one either. i drew the side view of the face differently to how i usually did it. it now has more of a nose. i also tried a new pupil type, kinda resembling certain older cartoon styles. drawn using pc, krita, wacom tablet, mouse. posted march 20th, 2024

"he got what he deserved"

oh man.. back to gnp again. theres alot of things i like about this one. it was intended to be just perspective practice (even tho its nothing crazy), im really happy with the linework and some of the toning (mostly the teeth tbh) but i also really like the mouth, and i used that weird mouth end thing in my most recent artwork because.. idk its kinda weird but i like it. probably the most "unique" eye i've ever done, same goes for the blood, and i used the same technique for the blood as i did in a later piece. overall i just really like this one ig?? def another one of my favourites. drawn using pc, krita, wacom tablet, mouse. posted march 29th 2024

"delicacy"

this one isnt super important either but i included it mainly because of the way i drew the mouth. its alot more.. realistic?? than how i normally draw mouths, the teeth especially. it was a pretty fun thing to try out and i think it looks pretty good. its also another lineless piece, this version was an unfinished one and sadly i never finished it. i may remake it though, who knows. drawn using pc, krita, wacom tablet, mouse. posted april 1st, 2024

"my jack merridew design"

again, not very important. but im including it because i believe it's my first ref piece, and its a really simple one but its been a helpful guide for drawing this character + knowing what i should include in a ref piece. ive also used it as a guide for colour theory, and by that i mean just slapping what i think fits over the colours and if it works, i use it. it was also helpful for drawing clothing, particularly the folds in the cape. its mostly pretty random but some are deliberate and i think its a good start. drawn using pc, krita, wacom tablet, mouse. posted april 14th, 2024

"i hate this guy"

my first time drawing noses like that in a while, since alot of them before that were front or side view practice. i drew this after finishing my visual arts assignment (not shared anywhere) in which i used colours similarly to this, which inspired me to try it again. the colours are a bit much but i do like it. this was also another unfinished piece that i never got to. it was supposed to involve ralph but i had too much fun colouring jack to actually get to that. drawn using pc, krita, wacom tablet, mouse. posted april 16th 2024.

"yawn"

tried a few new things here. i used a textured background (actually not my first time but oh well), as well as a different brush which i still use on occasion. and i also toned and coloured using a watercolour brush. also i attempted to draw a mouth like this on a more "humanoid" face, and i think i did a pretty good job of that. drawn using pc, krita, wacom tablet, mouse. posted april 21st 2024

this one was never named, despite it being my 2nd most liked lotf post i think..? (next to the fucking mining away video lmao). it was never meant to be that great it was just a random ass doodle i decided to finish because i was bored. i included it here because ofc there's the eye shine thing and shape again, as well as some.. interesting toning choices. but i also used the same kinda blood/gore again, and this time used the eraser tool to create holes rather than drawing in the holes, and i think it looks alot better. i also lined some things with white which i think gives a nice effect. i think my favourite part about this piece is the way i drew the jewellery though, its pretty different to how i did it before and i think it looks nice. drawn using pc, krita, wacom tablet, mouse. posted may 2nd, 2024

"i'll teach you the way"

i mentioned this one before, it has the surrealism inspired background, now featuring trees, clouds and sun. this one took so fucking long mostly because of the war paint on the right dude. to achieve that i made excessive use of the replace tool and it was tedious and painful. anyways i include this one because its similar to the colouring in one of the previous ones i put in here as well as the eye shapes being pretty different to what i usually do (and the background ofc). drawn using pc, krita, wacom tablet, mouse. posted may 5th 2024

"nathan's youtube channel"

this one isnt super special but it was by this point that i decided i would try and vary eye, nose and blush shapes a bit more. and i used that one brush again (can you tell im running out of things to say). drawn using pc, krita, wacom tablet, mouse. posted may 10th, 2024

didn't title this one but from here onwards, i started to try have more variety in how i draw noses. here i was aiming for a hook nose appearance. also, the blush is a bit more wavy, unlike the square blush i used to do. here i also made the shine on the eyelids some shade of blue instead of white and i think it looks alot better. drawn using pc, krita, wacom tablet, mouse. posted may 21st, 2024

"experimental side view"

first attempt drawing a more unique (for me at least) nose at a side view. other then that its not that special and i dont really like it. also i decided to use blue lineart out of nowhere which i also continued using for certain artworks. drawn using pc, krita, wacom tablet, mouse. posted may 25th, 2024

"simon with braces"

here I tried to draw angles of the nose I hadn't tried before in this particular way, and I think it turned out looking decent for a first attempt. I also tried to include a few more 'realistic' features like more prominent lips in the first piece. I also tried to adjust the colours a bit to fit the surrounding blue. drawn using pc, krita, wacom tablet, mouse. posted may 26th, 2024

"ralf"

my most recent "serious" artwork. i mean its just a drawing of ralph but I tried multiple techniques i wasn't very used to before, such as a bit of difference in perspective, as well as another different nose shape, and variation in the lineart colours. i also tried to tone it a bit more realistically (while still keeping it cartoonish if that makes sense. its bright but not as bright as that one jack drawing i also put here). drawn using pc, krita, wacom tablet, mouse. posted may 27th, 2024

"jack, the pig is here"

my most recent piece as of posting this. this one is just a shitpost drawing but I actually really like it. i like the flat colours with the simple black varying lineart. and the style overall kinda reverts back to my older style while also using aspects of my newer one (e.g. i used the new face & nose shape, while also using the weird wonky mouth that I kinda stopped using for a while during my experimenting.) it looks kinda weird but i genuinely like it alot and while theres stuff about it I would still change and try to improve i think it fits what i want my art to look like pretty well. drawn using pc, krita, wacom tablet, mouse. posted 2nd june 2024

sooo thats the post. i do want to continue experimenting and changing and improving over time, but im overall pretty content with the progress i've made in not a huge amount of time tbh. i like my style (most of the time) but im curious to see how it changes in another year or so

also i dont care that i have a tablet now i dont think ill ever be able to give up using a mouse as well

anyways thanks for reading, have a good day

[frogizz]

Dr. Stone mind dump (spoilers, duh)

How often do characters take showers?

How often do they brush their teeth?

Do they even brush their teeth?

Where do they go to the bathroom?

Oh dear god do they have toilet paper, please tell me Senku re-invented toilet paper?!

Do you think some of the modern time gals were like "can you like find a way to make period pads or tampons? kinda sucks being in the stone world and having your period."

How often do the characters wash their clothes, it's understandable for them to not have that many clothes in their wardrobe besides their regular and winter clothes but you'd think they'd switch it up sometimes

WHY DOES NO ONES HAIR GROW? AINT NO WAY THEY'RE JUST CUTTING IT ALL THE TIME RIGHT?

The Perseus layout in the manga didn't map out a bathroom, I'm just sayin'- they pissin into the ocean when they were traveling to America

Why did Suika not grow any taller until the time-skip? Like, at least 2 years had passed when they reached America, she was like 9 at her first appearance, why didn't she necessarily age?

I forgot which chapter this was, but it was like a chart of who can sing and Ukyo was up there, what would he sing? I WANNA HEAR HIM SING!

(small) Headcanon, Senku can totally sing, like natural talent. Imagine him humming to himself and kicking his feet into the air as he lays his stomach, sketching out a roadmap to making something.

Imagine there's some animal that like has adapted to get some strange trait over the thousands of years and the villagers are like "yeah that's normal, you didn't know that?" and modern timers are just freaked out.

I think it says in Francois wiki or something that they only sleep/rest when no one's looking, so do they just like rest in an extremely isolated area or know exactly when to wake up before everyone else?

Idc what Francois' gender is, they're valid whatever they are, but I need A LAST NAME? LIKE ITS JUST FRANCOIS, WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME BESTIE? I don't want to always refer to them as Francois the Butler, they're so much more than that.

So like, when did Hyoga decide "you know what, I'm actually not going to murder everyone for my own benefit" in his head?

So Gen obviously had his carbonated cola drink, but have the villagers drank it? Like, will they be disgusted and weirded out by the texture and taste?

Do you think Kohaku, Chrome, and Ruri would have their own little games they'd create and play together when they were really young?

Did anyone else actually feel sympathetic for Ginro when he almost died during the Treasure Island arc? Like he finally did something to practically save everyone and he almost died.

Who else but Gen has their drivers license? Ukyo? Minami? Nikki? I think Luna does, right?

Alright, that's it. Answer these questions as either facts pulled from the manga or fan-book or in opinion or just read this mess, love ya if you did read all the way down here.

[nibwhipdragon]

Because I (vaguely) worked out how the PS2 reads discs, I did a lot of experimenting with my copy of Sonic Unleashed to see how the game would function without a disc in and...it gave me some funky results

Precautionary read more because I have no idea how long my rambles will get (Me from the future: It's pretty long.)

First off, I wanted to see what would happen to the day stages, so I loaded into Eggmanland, paused and removed the disc from my PS2, then started playing. It was pretty normal at the beginning, except for the music stopping (the PS2 must read music from the disc constantly, instead of in chunks like other data) only leaving the sound effects in. And no, the game can't play music from other discs. Put my Shadow the Hedgehog disc in there and nothing happened. Deaths didn't mess up the game at all, just loaded me back to the most recent checkpoint. Lives still went down as usual. However, once I got to that little 2D section with the ferris wheel, things became a lil iffy.

(This was the best way of taking pictures for me, I wish I could've gotten it in a better quality)

The graphics for the area hadn't loaded in at this point. However, things like rings, enemies, springs and the like were. The hitboxes for the invisible ground were still there. I think that the game loads in the bare basics for the level (sfx, hitboxes, enemies, etc.) at the start, then procedurally loads in the textures for the areas and the music when needed. This could possibly be why the graphics are a lot higher quality than the other Sonic games (excluding factors such as the time the game was developed in). I'll have to mess around with Shadow the Hedgehog and Sonic Heroes to see if they do the same too.

Losing all your lives here and getting a game over causes the game to go to a black screen which requires a restart to fix, which was expected.

Night Stages were essentially the same. I don't know if it's because Apotos Act 1 (Night) is much shorter than Eggmanland (Day), but a lot more of the stage's textures were loaded in. Music stopped like before, so if you are a person that particularly dislikes the whole night battle theme problem (i didn't feel that it played too much) then well. As long as you put the disc in before you reach the end it's all good. Also memorise the layout of the map. You'll need it.

I didn't put the disc in right after I hit the goal ring to see what happens, and nothing really does. You don't go to the victory screen at least. The game doesn't throw a hissy fit like it does if you get a game over, and it'll take you to the victory screen a few seconds after you put the disc back in and it starts reading.

Here's a silly lil victory screen with no area textures

I checked out night bosses with Dark Gaia Phoenix, and it worked normally, except for the music.

Day bosses were the same (checked with Egg Lancer), though a little bit of the textures for the ground at the end of the map loop hadn't loaded in.

Dark Gaia. Hooo boy, the game really does not like the disc not being in when it comes to that battle. Phase 1 starts alright, no music as usual. Then once you complete it...

This happens. I think that the game skips the cutscene as it doesn't have the data for it and thinks "this is Sonic's part! I gotta drop him in like in the day levels!" As it goes into phase 2, but as there's no disc, it can't even read the data for the hitboxes of the stage and load it in for there to be something for Sonic to fall onto. So it puts him a state of falling like that, where you can move him around unless you press square, which sends him stomping and impossible to move around. The controls function normal, at least.

I then put the disc back in, and after a few minutes the game got a footing, understood what it was meant to do and loaded the cutscene. Which I skipped. Skipping was mostly normal, except for the fact it opened up the pause menu for some reason??? They both use start so that could be why. As soon as I hit resume it skipped the cutscene and took me to phase 2. Took the disc out again, and it worked like the other stages did, with not loading in textures. The three sections loaded in alright, though the later two had no textures at all and was such a hell to navigate I never got to the third.

(God that one's blurry AF)

I'll reblog if I find out more. It was really interesting, finding out how the game works like this!

[queenlucythevaliant]

During March Madness in my first year, I went to a viewing party put on by my student min. I didn’t really watch basketball (still don’t), but I thought it would be nice to get out and be with friends.

But after the first couple scores (first quarter?) my tolerance for tall guys in gym shorts was pretty much shot, so I got up and wandered over into the other room. And, well, there was a box with a jigsaw puzzle just sitting there. So I sat down and started sorting the pieces.

Side and corner pieces go in the lid for now. Tree texture over there—nope, okay, we’ve got two different kinds of trees. Yellow pieces and red in two separate piles with shades of orange in between, like a gradient. Grass and night sky, two more piles. Grass next to the two tree piles, so I can check between them easily. I started humming a little bit. Sorting done, let’s start the border.

It didn’t even register, at first, when Hannah sat down next to me. She didn’t speak at first, just watched me work. After a while, though, she pulled her chair in closer. “Okay if I help?”

“Sure,” I said, “Only I’ve got a system. Try not to mess it up?”

Hannah nodded. “Alright,” and got to piecing the top edge of the sky together.

“Do you do many jigsaw puzzles?” she asked eventually. “It seems like you know what you’re doing.”

“Not many lately, no,” I replied. I shifted the pieces around, connected two fragments together and glanced at the box. “But I used to do them all the time. Because of the migraines, you know.”

“No, I don’t know. Explain it to me?”

I don’t know why I did.

“Sometimes, I don’t quite have a migraine, but I’m still in pain and it hurts to think. I try not to just lie in bed, when I’m like that. So a lot of the time, when I was still at home and had the space, I would do jigsaw puzzles. Probably ten or twenty over the last several years. One or two thousand pieces each. I got really good at them.” I paused. “It was something to do.”

I don’t remember what Hannah said after that, but I don’t think it was anything much. We put together the campfire, the people, and the trees, and were starting in on the grass when the game ended. Our team lost, I think, but I didn’t really care. We were halfway done with the puzzle.

It wasn’t until the next year, when Hannah and I and also Riley and Victoria were sitting in a circle on my dorm floor praying together, that she told me what that night had meant to her. “I didn’t really understand what your migraines were like until you told me about the puzzles,” she said.

[thotsforvillainrights]

Hi, can you do magne x an autistic reader please, maybe with some smut? 👉👈

(I'll do my best with it. I'm worried it'll come out too far on one side since I think there are some traits that are with some people that aren't the same with others. Please let me know if I mess it up in any way and I'll do my best to fix it!)

headcanon|scenario|imagine|match-up

-I doubt she sees you as any different. I mean she knows you have different things about you but it's not as though she'd ever make you feel out of place or anything (just in case you think that). She treats you like she would any romantic partner that she loves. She does her best to support and love while simultaneously learning more and more about you and how things work. She finds you endearing, but doesn't infantilize you or anything odd like that. Mag is probably the best there is when it comes to

-She's sometimes like a mother hen and is worried you might get overwhelmed with her. Although she tries not to treat you like a baby, sometimes she tends to worry about you a bit much. She's always trying to check and see if you're alright with certain textures or sounds since she's worried you might experience overload. She did her research and from what she could tell, it sucks bad. So she's big on checking if things are alright with you when buying new clothes or when being around the rest of the members during a rowdy game night and whatnot. Even without autism being involved, the group can be too much for anybody during game night.

-She keeps an eye out if you get into a thing where you're taking part in repetitive tasks or maybe when you've devoted your whole to something new you've just gained interest in. If anything, she really enjoys sitting there and listening to everything you've got to say about your interest. She'll learn about it too so you'd have someone to discuss things with. With minimal funds in her pocket it makes her sad she can't really get you many things that you might see or want when you've found a new thing you love. However, she's a little artsy so expect some handmade gifts!

-If stimming is in the picture then you need not worry about how she feels about you before or after. Take some time to sit and explain to her what it's all about. She's very understanding of these things. It's actually rather interesting to observe since she'd never seen it first-hand before. You'll definitely find she has to explain it to some of the others so they don't risk saying anything offensive from a lack of understanding about everything. You already know which ones would be the main ones to slip up and say something stupid before finding out the reason behind it. Don't worry, they apologize...since Magne is threatening them with a steel blade of course.

-Overall she's a fantastic partner to you and she strives each day, making it her goal to understand you and to make sure you feel nothing short of pure love she holds for you.

[ohsnapitzlovehacker]

I played this game while a ton of great and not great things were happening in my life, so this review will be 90% vibes and 10% actual critical thoughts.

The great

It’s always awesome when we get gender of choice books and the story allows for it, and while I mostly play female with she/her pronouns MCs (because I’ve played MORE than enough games with male he/him characters in my life) yay for inclusive options!

The (Black) MC sprites: BRO I COULDN’T DECDIDE ON A DESIGN AT FIRST IT WAS STRESSFUL BUT GREAT SKGJJHJFG. I loved the hair options too, seeing as most previous books don’t seem to see the point in offering more than one afro-textured style lol. 

MC themselves: Yeah, I like YA stories at my big age 🤷🏽‍♀️ But I really love this MC just for their wit, personality (which we could kind of influence through dialogue choices) and how they sound their age. The last part sounds pointless but trust me, I’m sick of teen characters sounded older and mature for no reason other than to appeal to adult audiences...

The LIs/Sexuality (because I ended up talking about both so they’re combined!): So I quickly decided that I wouldn’t pursue Donovan (grumpy and soft and sweet as he was LOL) but Tyler, Donovan, and Stevie ALL have my heart in the palm of their hands!!!! And the individual dynamics they have with MC made it so easy for me to replay chapters sometimes 3 or 4 (or 5 🥲) times JUST to capture all the different dialogue changes! And lemme tell you, it was exhausting and 100% worth it. Thank you so much writer team for your efforts!

Side note but playing as an enby or male MC while romancing Tyler also gave different dialogue (as most ppl playing the book knew probably). Y’all that was a treat to see sexuality acknowledged in this book. Also also also, with all the biphobia STILL running rampant in the world, it was super nice to have Stevie, Donovan, and Tyler (determinant) have their bisexuality specifically mentioned, and therefore make it clear they weren’t player-sexual. 

(Hell even with Gabbie!!! Not that she was clear on her labels BUT she fell under the LGBT umbrella and that was amazing to see someone who was still figuring herself out. And Joanna and her side plot?? God it was a bit painful but I also think it was handled with the care it needed. I’m so glad she was able to get out of her parents’ home and cut ties with them.)

Also confirming in chapter 16 that Stevie has been in a poly relationship before, hey y’all hey y’all wanting good rep, did y’all peep that?? I hope y’all did! (though I figure probably not because it’s a teen book and I haven’t been checking the tags but I don’t think much of the fandom was checking for this book 🥲) 

The mystery/plot: A bit of this will spill into ‘the meh’, but as someone who is painfully dense when it comes to guessing mysteries and is often along for the ride, for the most part, I truly enjoyed the story! It was definitely closer to Ride or Die than HSS/CA or M2FL in terms of tone, but obviously I didn’t mind it. We were dealing with a murder after all...

Side characters: Brett made my blood boil!!! The track team can catch these hands!! Perdita I love your sibling relationship with MC to the point of tears!!! Millie you had me going for a HOT minute but I guess you was alright in the end!!!

And on and on and on... Yeah, the side characters helped add depth and weight to the story even when we focused on the main “Scooby Squad” 😂

The meh

~some of these are nitpicky, some of these are actual concerns, also I’m running out of steam so this section will be short~

masc MC body clothing choices: it never fails, I look at some of the outfit options and I wanna cry. And then I’m wondering if I should restart with a femme MC just to not look a hot mess 🤧 the struggle y’all

Perdita’s disappearance: You have to obtain all the clues to get the bittersweet bonus scene in the end, so it actually hurts a little bit to think about what you’re missing if you don’t. That being said, I keep flip flopping between if I’m satisfied with the ending or if it still grates on my soul and my nerves 😂 On one hand, there really are mysteries out there that don’t get solved, and family hurts that never heal. And we do get justice for Gabbie. 

On the other hand, we spend time (and diamonds!) on little clues here and there on our fictional sister and in the end, it adds up to smoke and mirrors. There is no true closure. MC can either say they won’t stop looking or they will forgive and let go. And I don’t have the words to articulate why this ending leaves me so cold, but I just know that I’m not a huge fan of it. 

I suspect a sequel would be in the works (where maybe we do get answer about our sister and the case that took her) but they were cut and this tweet affirms my suspicions (from one of the MAH writers)

https://twitter.com/catherinevalman/status/1588628334619287553

The killer: ...I ain’t gonna lie, I was kinda disappointed /confused that April was the killer? Like it made sense ( I guess) but it didn’t?? Again, don’t have the words to articulate why I feel this, but just know I feel it. I don’t want to call it lazy writing, because I don’t believe it’s that, but it maybe this decision falls a bit on the weaker side??? I don’t know. (also, not sure how I feel about villainizing the disabled person...? ALSO what was that crap about the clue on ‘the patients of the murder drug skewing older’??? did we just throw that out so we could frame April?? Ugh, y’all I don’t knowwww.)

One last thing, I was certainly seeing a bit of rage having this lil white girl coming after my Black boy with such vitriol and false sense of vengeance. I was as the kids say, triggered. Even with the chapter disclaimer. AND THE YT TEARS SHE SHED?!?!?!? girl stop embarrassing yourself, it’s giving Amy Dunne from Gone Girl (and we do not have enough time to get into my complicated beef with that character aHA)

Final things

Usually, a big sign of how much I love a book and hold it in high esteem is the replayability. I truly believe this book has high replayability (especially if you weren’t a NUT like me and replayed individual chapters a bunch of times ahaha)

So. I love this book and its potential for me to start a new game. But for now, I crave fluff because I’ve got enough angst and strife to deal with right now 😂

[radioromantic-moved]

drabblecember: falling asleep somewhere that isn't the bed

finally had time to write and of course bernie had to be the first one with a fic. she deserves it. i know a drabble is supposed to be like. a couple hundred words but this is over 700 unfortunately </3 when the words flow they flow. (prompts list!)

summary: bernie and antigone the night of the ball (which apparently doesn't have a name? the‏‏‎ ‎white‏‏‎ ‎heron‏‏‎ ‎cup is just the associated event?)

There’s a knock at Bernadetta’s door. She startles, heartbeat speeding up. Oh, Goddess, I thought everyone was still at the ball! What if someone noticed I left early and I’m going to get in trouble? What if they think I’m not participating enough in Academy culture and I get expelled? I really really really don’t want to go home--

“Hey, Bernie. It’s just me. Sorry if I scared you.”

Her heart calms a little. It’s just Antigone. Reliable, kind, funny, admittedly-still-a-little-scary Antigone. She’s not getting expelled. (Tonight.)

“You doing okay?”

“I’m alright,” she manages to squeak out. “Just, you know…I--I’m really not good at these sorts of things, and there were just so many people and everything was so loud and it’s just so much calmer in here. S--sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize. As long as you’re comfortable in there. If you wanted to come back to the party, I could save a dance for you, but if you need to take the rest of the evening to yourself, I’ll leave you alone.”

“Um. Y--you could come in, if you wanted?”

Antigone doesn’t say anything back right away, and Bernie panics. Oh, she’s really messed everything up this time, that was such a weird thing to say, why is she so weird all the time what is WRONG with her!

“I’d be happy to, as long as you’re okay with that.”

“Oh! Oh, um--okay, let me just unlock the door--”

She fumbles with her locks (she managed to get two extras installed) until the door swings open. Antigone steps inside and sits cross-legged on the floor. 

“Are you sure you wouldn’t rather be at the ball? You looked like you were having fun,” she says, sitting down next to them. It makes her nervous to look down to make eye contact with someone, but it also makes her nervous to look up to make eye contact with someone so in a perfect world she would just be the same height as everyone.

“I was! For a while there it was really nice! But after a few hours I just get kind of…all burned out on that stuff. Like you said. Too many people, too loud, all that. I was going to head home for the night, but I saw you had left and I wanted to make sure you were feeling okay.”

“I…I didn’t know stuff like that happened to you,” Bernie says slowly. “You always seem so…cool. And put together and exciting! You seem like you’d be the life of the party.”

An image rises quickly into her mind of Dorothea laughing at a joke Antigone told earlier in the evening and kissing their cheek. It makes her chest tighten uncomfortably, and she tries to ignore it. 

Antigone laughs a bit. “I know, right? You’d think! But the thing is…I like dancing, and getting dressed up fancy and all, but after spending a lot of time surrounded by other people I always find myself wishing I was alone with a book or some new invention. It doesn’t mean I don’t like them, just means…I need my own space sometimes.”

“Huh,” Bernie says softly. 

She smiles.

Antigone runs their fingers through their hair. “Do you mind if I take off this suit jacket? I’ve got on underclothes and all that--this isn’t a proposition, I’d never proposition you--just didn’t realize I was sweaty until now and now the texture’s making me wanna gnaw off my arms.”

“T--that’s okay,” stammers Bernie, a little caught up on the very suggestion that anyone would proposition her.

Antigone slides their jacket off. “That’s better,” they sigh.

Their eyes flit to a book half-hidden under her bed. “Whoa, is that the first book in the Frost Diamond Chronicles? I didn’t know you read those!”

“I didn’t know you did!”

“Bernie, at this point I’ve practically worked my way through‏‏‎ ‎Garreg‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎Mach’s whole library. Ask me about any title and I will have an opinion.”

She takes them up on their offer. 

It’s nearly an hour later that the conversation slows, and then no more words are spoken at all as Antigone leans their head on Bernie’s shoulder. She tenses at the physical contact, but it’s only half out of fear and half out of a strong, terrible desire for human connection she didn’t realize was quite so extreme until just now. 

As gently as she can, she tugs a blanket down from her bed and wraps it around the both of them. Then, slowly, gently, every-so-slightly shakily, she rests her head on Antigone’s.

As the lantern burns out, the two students fall asleep.

[countessofbiscuit]

3, 4, 6, 7, 11 and 13 for Permissive Environment? sorry i really like this story! 😳

Haha, thank you so much! I like it too and am happy to talk about it, though I'll only be talking below about the first chapter, which is the original fic (as apposed to the addendum drabbles).

Link to Permissive Environment

 3. What’s your favorite line of narration?

This is tough! Not sure if it was playing in a different story ‘environment’ or working with totally new characters, but the prose in this one is some of my strongest, I think. I'll pick three lines:

Desert glass had nothing on the penetration of Eleni Syndulla’s eyes, Howzer decided, though it had bored through earth and sky.

Like the scent between his lekku under the midday sun, the shape of Cham’s cock was embedded in Howzer’s mind.

When it came time for drawdown, Howzer was determined to be on the last larty out of Lessu.

4. What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

Eleni chuckled and tutted. “Don’t flatter him, Howzer — or any Rylman. It will go straight to his lek and make him dangerous.”

6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?

I don’t normally write such detailed stories for new ships on the back of an unexpected prompt. How quickly this fic flowed out really impressed me. I remember needing a good project at the time and immersing myself in the worldbuilding — watching obscure videos on mosaics and Greco-Roman architecture and ancient cosmetics and and and (you get the idea) — brought maximum escapism. 

It’s also dear to me for the hotwifing element … my favorite kink and one I should write more of. 

7: Where did the title come from?

The DOD Dictionary of Military and Associated Terms (Jan, 2021) :p

permissive environment — Operational environment in which host nation military and law enforcement agencies have control, as well as the intent and capability to assist operations that a unit intends to conduct.

Obviously, there’s a double-meaning in there about the Syndullas as very permissive hosts; but the fic was just as much about what might have brought Howzer's unit to Ryloth and what the aftermath of a successful GAR operation on friendly soil would have looked like. So, the military pun.

11: What do you like best about this fic?

It’s a well-textured story, studded with detail and sensory notes. If that reads like a wine bottle label, well this is one of the few fics I like better with age :p

13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

The soundtrack to Black Hawk Down — the instrumentation and often plaintive melodies work for the vibe — and "Gortoz a Ran" especially, which is weirdly perfect because it’s a song in Breton about waiting for a storm. Given the whole twi’leks-as-space!French-Resistance thing, it was easy to imagine the song belonging to twi’leks who speak an ancient tongue that's quite different from modern Ryl.

And also Oh What A Mess I’m In by Hayden Calnin 

I know this might seem a little less alright / But here I find a little place to hide / Oh, what a mess I'm in

Thanks for the ask!

Fic Questions