#for the fact that they cannot survive and they can’t make ends meet and we have to beg

[fertilizerforflowers]

Hozier really said to future generations, it’s not your fault. You can’t “work hard” and get what you need and want. It’s not your fault that the dreams of fifty years are now unrealistic and unattainable without breaking your soul and maybe not even getting it. You were fucked over before you came into this world, and they continue to fuck you over so much that it’s better to live your life as you see fit. It would be easier because being young and living as you want won’t ruin you but abiding by the systems most likely will.

[lannmmm]

Warnings: contain spoilers, read on your own risk; mention of blood; mention of death..

Characters: Satoru Gojo, Suguru Getō.

Uh,. English not my first language,so try not to poke your eyes out while reading.

They definitely will.

"...after my own ten years departure, I was blindly convinced that I remained hated by you, only to find out it was the opposite minutes before my death. What an idiot I am..So are you." - Suguru’s smile really seemed to stay just the same, his gentle voice, soothing all the worries, hasn’t changed at all as well, the warm gaze of his, already eternally tired, eyelids flaunts on his face again, but now this very picture is soaked in the blood of thousands of innocent and not quite souls, including the master of curses himself, and leaves behind only a heaviness in the chest, an arrow passing through the heart.

The pain from his injuries did not seem to prevent him from speaking at all, from looking directly into the soul of his once best and still irreplaceable friend. Getō was determined to say goodbye with dignity and, this time, it must be the real ending?

Indeed, once upon a time, the happiest memories bring the greatest pain, dealing a decisive blow.

"Huh? Why is that?" - Satoru, standing opposite his profusely bleeding person, was now squatting to hear his every, now more than ever, priceless word as clearly as possible, to hammer everything into memory, down to the smallest detail.

Suguru’s penetrating gaze cast doubt on the existence of a bandage,that was then white, which carefully hid Satoru’s sky-blue eyes, which the second one missed so much. It is difficult to remain silent about how much this fact increased the pressure of everything that was happening.

“How did you even think of blaming yourself for everything?” With his surviving hand, Suguru nevertheless lowered the bandage that was already annoying both of them, releasing his adored pure abysses - “no offens, do you think that you could give me the answers I needed? Why? At what cost? For who? And would that really be enough to stop my obsession? ...Huh, I'm afraid it wasn't enough for me to just speak out and cry on someone's shoulder... even if it belonged to the Gojo Satoru himself ~" it was probably strange to try to soften the heavy tension in the air with such jokes, but it was difficult to resist still. It was felt that with each new word Suguru’s voice became hoarser, it became more difficult to breathe, his eyes flickered almost imperceptibly, and only that charming smile remained unchanged.

“You know, Satoru, I considered you my best friend on my own initiative after all. You, the one whom you are now cursing and trying to change, going into the past. Nonsense. Why did you decide that you were obligated to help me? Why did you hang an unrealistic expectation on yourself? responsibility? No matter how strong you are, you cannot save someone who does not want to be saved. That's it!"

Gojo was silent. He would have remained like that for a long time, if only time was on their side now-.. he had to overcome the lump stuck in his throat.

"You're right. If trying to change the past simply doesn't make sense, I'll leave the future to us."

"Satoru.... My, you really are a fool! By 'our future' you mean the few minutes remaining for me? Heh, don't want to disappoint--"

"Next life."

"What?"

"In the next life, Suguru, I will not let you go."

Despite how childishly naive that sounded, Suguru completely melted.

“Do you really believe this yourself?” Getō said almost inaudibly, yet so soft.

“What difference does it make? From now on i do. You also can’t know for sure..” - Satoru slightly pouted his lips, a charming habit of his since school.

With the last of his strength, Suguru pressed their foreheads together without breaking eye contact.

“I believe you and I believe in you.” - it turns out that was the phrase personifying his last breath.

“We will meet again.” - the promise.

[celluloidbroomcloset]

Hey there,

You’ve got a lot of insight into Ed and his whole journey from S1 to S2. Apologies if you’ve covered all this already (and I’m not the most articulate of people so also apologies for any confusion), but I’m interested in your thoughts…

I get the impression that a basic debate here is that either Ed is a psychopathic sadist (who basically ‘reigns in his sadistic tendencies’ until he loses Stede) or he’s someone struggling with his own self loathing and the toxic environment he’s had to live in (or maybe I’ve missed the mark entirely).

If it’s the latter, do you think he becomes at all vindictive in S2? Or is he more going through the motions of what he thinks is expected of ‘the pirate Blackbeard,’ because he’s somehow trying to cut off his emotions or is just tired of even trying to be anything else (ie himself) anymore? Or maybe it’s something else?

Also, to me personally it seems like Ed is stuck in… how to describe it… a depressive stasis at the beginning of S1, like at least resigned to death but doesn’t actively seek it until the end of S1/beginning of S2. I can’t decide though if in S2 Ed wants to take the crew with him (because that at least means not dying alone, like the mother and the cat in Crimes of the Heart), or if he doesn’t mind one way or the other what happens as long as he’s dead, or if the goal is to actively make the crew despise him because he thinks hatred and death are what he deserves?

Again, sorry if I’m beating a dead horse here…

Thanks!

So a lot of people have written a good bit about this. This is just what I think (and my thoughts may change—I'm planning on rewatching "Red Flags" today).

When we meet Ed, I think he is depressive and perhaps passively suicidal—he's talking about how the one thing he hasn't tried yet is death, but he doesn't seem to be really looking to die, and meeting Stede makes him re-evaluate the life he's been living and what he wants from it.

Stede and the space of the Revenge make Ed feel safe to express the parts of him that he’d concealed within Blackbeard in order to survive (the whole bringing out of his mother’s silk and Stede giving him the space to wear it openly on his heart). He tries to find this again with the crew after Stede leaves him, and it is Izzy who tells him that he is not safe unless he is Blackbeard (by directly threatening him and telling him that he would be better off dead than being the person he is).

I think a lot of what he’s doing at the end of Season 1 and into Season 2 is malicious compliance - “You wanted the caricature of Blackbeard, well HERE HE IS!” By the time we pick up with the Revenge in Season 2, he's moving from passive to active suicidality - he has been unable to correctly perform (Izzy invoking Stede and the fact that Ed's feelings are what have made the atmosphere on the ship toxic - quite literally his inability to conceal those feelings have poisoned everything around them, according to Izzy. Ed's feelings themselves are poisonous). Ed cannot reconcile his past with what he wants to be with who he is, and he has lost the safe space to be Ed.

I don’t think he wants to take the crew with him - his first move is to try to get Izzy to kill him; when that fails, he tries to get the crew to do it. If anyone actually just pulled a gun and shot him, he'd not try to stop them. He’s goading them until they’re forced into a space where they either have to die themselves or take the initiative and kill him (hence his “finally” right before his death).

Ed has been working to become all the monstrous/demoniacal stories about himself, the ones that have been told by the English and by his trio of monstrous fathers. He hates them but he also wants their approval, and he’s transforming himself into the monstrosity that others say he is. His love for Stede and the things that he was allowed to access via his relationship with Stede are the soft, genuine parts of himself that he has been told are not him but that he's also now incapable of concealing. He’s not worthy of that softness, he’s not worthy of love, and so he tries to kill it.

He’s going to die on Stede’s ship, with Stede’s cravat around his throat, murdered by Stede’s crew, as a final confirmation that all the things he wanted to be, and all the love he felt, he wasn’t really worthy of, that Stede was right to leave him because look at what he’s done, and that the people who loved him should never have loved him. He’s dying like all his monstrous fathers have died, murdered by people who once cared for him and whom he should have taken care of, but failed to because he's a monster.

[fourthwingfan]

Madness - Chapter 4

Warning: It's a war college so don't read it if you sensitive to violence death etc.

Note: We have finally a "decent" conversation between Xaden and Aelin. And guess what? We have a new nickname. From Xaden. Soo goood. 😍

Enjoy :)

The sparring ring is where riders are made or broken. After all, no respectable dragon would choose a rider who cannot defend themselves, and no respectable cadet would allow such threat to the wing to continue training.

-Major Afendra’s guide to the Riders Quadrant

(Unauthorized Edition)

“Elena Sosa, Brayden Blackburn.” Captain Fitzgibbons reads from the death roll, flanked by two other scribes on the dais as we stand in silent formation in the courtyard, squinting into the early sun.

This morning, we’re all in rider black, and there’s a single silver four-pointed star on my collarbone, the mark of a first-year, and a Fourth Wing patch on my shoulder. We were issued standard uniforms yesterday, summer-weight tightfitted tunics, pants, and accessories after Parapet was over, but not flight leathers. There’s no point handing out the thicker, more protective combat uniforms when half of us won’t be around come Threshing in October. The armored corset Mira made us isn’t regulation, but I fit right in among the hundreds of modified uniforms around me.

After the last twenty-four hours and one night in the first-floor barracks, I’m starting to realize that this quadrant is a strange mix of we-might-die-tomorrow hedonism and a brutal efficency in the name of the same reason.

“Jace Sutherland.” Captain Fitzgibbons continues to read, and the scribes next to him shift their weight. “Dougal Luperco.”

I think we’re somewhere in the fifties, but I lost count. This is the only memorial the names will get, the only time they’ll be spoken of in the citadel.

There are a hundred and fifty-six of us in the first floor of the dormitory building, our beds positioned in four neat rows in the open space. Private rooms are like flight leathers - you don’t get one until you survive Threshing.

“Simone Casteneda.” Captain Fitzgibbons closes the scroll. “We commend their souls to Malek.” The god of death.

I blink. Guess we were closer to the end than I thought.

There’s no formal conclusion to the formation, no last moment of silence. The names on the scroll leave the dais with the scribes, and the quiet is broken as the squad leaders all turn and begin to address their squads.

“Hopefully you all ate breakfast, because you’re not going to get another chance before lunch,” our squad leader says. His name is Theo as we learnt after yesterday’s events. For first impression he seem to be a pretty calm guy. He talked about the rules but not like Dain based on what Violet said last night. I swear the rules are his gods.

In our squad there are third- and second-years besides us, marked and non-marked ones. We’re a really mixed group.

Yesterday I didn’t have a chance to observe our squad mates because when Theo’s briefing was over I went to find Violet. We succeeded securing beds next to each other. Rhiannon too. We talked about a lot of things due to the fact that we’re not in the same squad. I can’t be with her for every lesson, our schedule is different. Vi helped me memorising the order of my lessons. It’s a luck that at least I have good memory.

“Second- and third-years, I’m assuming you know where to go” Theo continues as the scribes wind their way around the edge of the courtyard to my right, headed back to their quadrant.

There’s a mutter of agreement from the senior cadets ahead of us. As first-years, we’re in the back two rows of the little square that makes up our squad.

“First-years, at least one of you should have memorized your academic schedule when it was handed out yesterday.” Theo’s voice booms over us. “Stick together. I expect you all to be alive when we meet this afternoon in the sparring gym.”

We only have the gym twice a week, so there should be time to help Violet learn a little more self defense. She’s smart and quick. She can do it.

I’m more worried about my own lessons. I have to put in so much extra hours to be up to date in our reading materials. Before Basgiath, Violet helped me to study. She often read aloud the texts while I tried to memorize its content. It’s easier. When I’m trying to read, it often makes me so frustrated. I’m trying to read, but I can’t. It’s a really slow process. But because of this I’m good at making notes. I only write down what is really important ‘cause later I have to read it again.

I hope the lessons will be tolerable. I can’t have Violet with me all the time. It’s same for her. She needs to practice her skills before we’ll have to handle the Gauntlet - the vertical obstacle course they told us we’ll have to master when the leaves turn colors in two months.

If we can complete the final Gauntlet, we’ll walk through the natural box canyon above it that leads to the flight field for Presentation, where this year’s dragons willing to bond will get their first look at the remaining cadets. Two days after that, Threshing will occur in the valley beneath the citadel.

I glance around at my new squadmates and can’t help but wonder which of us, if any, will make it to that flight field, let alone that valley.

Don’t borrow tomorrow’s trouble.

“And if we’re not?” One smart-ass first-year behind me asks.

I don’t bother looking, instead I turn to Liam and roll my eyes at the stupid’s girl comment.

He snickers but doesn’t say anything.

“Then I won’t have to be concerned with learning your name, since it will be read off tomorrow morning” Theo answers with a shrug.

A third-year ahead of me snorts a laugh.

Yeah, I totally understand you. It was funny. Or just my sense of humor is sucks.

“You have about twenty minutes to get to class,” Theo says to the seven of us first-years. “Fourth floor, second room on the left in the academic wing. Get your shit together and don’t be late.” Our squad breaks apart around the same time the others do, transforming the courtyard from an orderly formation to a crowd of chatting cadets. The second- and third-years walk off in another direction, including Theo.

“Go, grab your stuff and meet me here okay?” Liam says

“You’d be lost without me anyway.” I reply while heading to the doors.

“And here I thought you’d be kinder with a good night sleep, Snappy.” He sighs.

“Damn, I told you to drop this ridiculous nickname.” I hiss at him.

“Or what? We’re squadmates, you can’t hurt me” he winks.

“No. I can’t kill you. It’s completly different.” I say smiling.

“Whooah look at that. You can smile.”

“Shut up. Go grab your pack or I leave you here.” I roll my eyes.

I go to the dormitory where my bed is, and pick up my rucksack from under it.

When I walk out the door I see Violet at the center of the courtyard and her expression make the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. She’s looking at somebody.

Oh shit.

Xaden Riorson is watching her with narrowed eyes, the sleeves of his uniform rolled up his massive arms that remain folded across his chest, the warning in his relic-covered arm on full display as a third-year next to him says something that he blatantly ignores.

Garrick was he?

There’s maybe twenty feet between us. My fingers twitch, ready to grab one of the blades sheathed at my ribs.

His head tilts and he studies me with those impossibly dark eyes, like he’s deciding where I’m most vulnerable. So he noticed me when I exited the dormitory. Interesting.

He smirks then his attention shifts to Violet, and Dain who emerges from behind the pillar.

Shit, do they have to be so obvious? Someone might misinterpret it.

Violet says something to Dain, then his gaze snaps up as the crowd thins out around us.

„I already knew your parents are tight,” Xaden calls out, a cruel smile tilting his lips. „But do you two have to be so fucking obvious?”

I told you, I sigh when the few cadets who are still in the rotunda turn to look at them.

„Let me guess,” Xaden continues, glancing between Dain and Violet, „Childhood friends? First loves, even?”

„I expected you to do a better job hiding where your affections lie, Aetos.” Xaden moves, walking down the steps.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

I need to do something.

„Come on Riorson, you have eyes, now use it. You really think that Violet and Dain? I thought you’re smarter than that.” I sigh with feigned disappointment.

„Melgren?” He turns to me. „What are you? A watchdog? Always at Violet’s legs?”

Fucking asshole.

„Now you’re trying to insult me? How kind of you.” I smile at him sweetly. „And no. Violet can protect herself. I just don’t like the fact that now everybody thinks that they have something between them because of you. I didn’t know you liked to gossip.”

„With this attitude you won’t last long, Melgren. Throwing insults at everybody who dares to talk to you or Sorrengail.” He tilts his head to the side. „It’s like you’re a fucking ray of sunshine.”

„Then forgive this little Sunshine and her friend because we’ll have a lesson soon, and it would cast a really bad light on us if we were late. Don’t you think wingleader?” I gesture toward Violet to come with me.

„Hm. Then we should continue our interesting conversation later.” He says slowly with a smirk and I have a bad feeling about it. „And don’t forget to watch your back, Sunshine.” He turns and walks away.

Sunshine? A nickname? Really?

Damn, he’s handsome for sure but at the same time an enermous prick.

[samstree]

(okay so i write obikin again :3, it's also on ao3)

“You are nervous.”

Obi-Wan nearly misses the quiet statement, being too deep in thoughts. They are almost melded into one under the covers, legs tangling and breathing in tandem. He lifts his head from Anakin’s shoulder, meeting his eyes.

“Hmm?”

“You are doing it again,” Anakin sighs. He catches Obi-Wan’s hand on his bare chest gently. “You touch my scars when you are nervous.”

That’s when Obi-Wan notices, his hand tracing the burn scars on Anakin’s chest, the pads of his fingers following the ridges and divots of tender skin. They were a lot more prominent back when they were new, red and angry and spanning from Anakin’s shoulder to his side. The path nearly resembles a lightning strike.

Obi-Wan winces at the memory of Anakin receiving those scars, of the lightning from Sidious’ hands.

He finds himself doing it sometimes, when his mind is filled with doubt and he craves the physical proof that Anakin survived the ordeal. He finds himself touching the scars, as if he could soothe them after the fact, as if he could go back in time and protect Anakin from the hurt.

He reminds himself not to do it often. A Jedi should not let the past haunt him still, and he’s been doing so well now. The anxiety must have overridden his control.

“Apologies, I didn’t mean to,” Obi-Wan smiles, though it feels forced. “Did I hurt you?”

He tries to remove his hand but it’s caught in Anakin’s flesh one. He unfurls Obi-Wan’s fingers and presses a small kiss in his palm.

“No, of course not. They healed long ago, remember?” Anakin’s eyes are wide and vulnerable. They are the most beautiful like this. It’s one of those rare states that only come out when all his defenses are laid down. “I don’t mind you touching them, but you only fidget like this when you are nervous about something, and I don’t like you nervous. You overthink and get into a war with yourself, and then you end up hurting on the inside. I’m worried about you, Master.”

Obi-Wan frowns, an urge to fight suddenly rising. “Well, you shouldn’t be. I’m not the one who will leave for the most dangerous part of the Outer Rims tomorrow. I’m not the one about to fight in the Great Slave Revolt, for Force knows how long. I’m not the one who nearly died and will possibly—”

His throat closes up with fear. He cannot voice the possibility of Anakin dying, not after everything they’ve been through.

“Hey, look at me.” Anakin shifts on the bed, sitting up against the pillow. He wraps both hands around Obi-Wan’s cheeks, tracing his beard gently. There is only determination in his eyes. “You won’t lose me.”

Something within Obi-Wan trembles. “You can’t promise that.”

“Yes, I can,” Anakin insists, nearly petulantly, the stubbornness of his youth coming to the surface. Or, perhaps, it never went away, only mellowed by time. “I’m the Chosen One. I defeated Darth Sidious.”

Yes, he did. The Chosen One defeated the Sith and brought balance to the Force, and Anakin…

Anakin was nearly the price.

The memory floods his mind. Suddenly, all Obi-Wan can think about is the long night after Palpatine’s defeat, sitting in the Halls of the Healing by Anakin’s bed. His breathing was so shallow, the rise and fall of his bandaged chest almost imperceptible. When he reached out, Anakin’s Force signature was so weak he nearly felt dead.

Obi-Wan’s breath hitches as he looks away.

“I wish you didn’t have to.” He swallows the lump in his throat.

He never cared for the prophecy anyway. He just wanted Anakin to be okay.

“No, don’t hide from me. There was no way you could have known, and we are fine now,” Anakin coaxes gently. “We talked about this. I…I have to go, Obi-Wan. The slaves… they need me. They are making progress, but they are also dying. I need to be there or the nightmares may never stop. I know you want to be with me, and you will, I promise. As soon as the duties at the temples are done, but for now, I would never ask you to give them up, Master.”

“Don’t…” Obi-Wan shakes his head, eyes brimming. “Don’t call me that, not anymore. How am I a master when I can’t even protect you?”

“Oh. Don’t you see?” Finally, with Anakin’s soft touches and whispered voice, Obi-Wan meets his gaze again. There is only love in the Force, and it rings true. “I have the best protection in the galaxy now. I have a reason to live. I’ll live for you, fight for you. I’ll wait for you to be there with me. The Team, just like old times.”

The tears fall, but they are caught by durasteel fingers, and then kissed away by soft lips. Anakin keeps kissing him, on his cheek, on his temple, his brow, and then finally, on his lips. He lies back so Obi-Wan rests on top of him. Their fingers tangle up in messy hair and the kiss deepens, until the Force melts with warmth and reassurance.

Anakin’s breaths are soft against Obi-Wan’s skin when he pulls away. He keeps Obi-Wan in his arms and holds him so tightly, as if he’s the one vulnerable and needs protecting. Anakin can be silly like this.

“I will be there in no time, dearest,” Obi-Wan promises, “and we will come home together.”

“Yes, of course.” Anakin smiles. He takes Obi-Wan’s hand and rests it on his chest. “But you should know, my home is right here. Wherever you are, I’m home, and I’m okay.”

When Obi-Wan traces the scars again, the uneven skin is still there, carrying all the pain and fear of the past, but none of it matters. Under his fingertips, he finds Anakin’s heartbeat, and presses his palm right over it.

Every beat tells him how strong Anakin is, how much he has already survived.

When Obi-Wan falls asleep, it is to the sound of Anakin’s heart—now his home. He will always find it.

[thesovereignsring-if]

There's no excuses for what Shitrick did, but oh well he's protected by the plot and author and not forced to be incompetent like mc with a bunch of shit excuses for why mc is the most useless character in the game. It doesn't even make any damn sense people mc's age are skilled lol

Oh no, baby is a little pressed aren’t we?

Eirik is not protected by the plot. He’s literally framed as the main antagonist, it’ll take plot armor to keep him alive and the goes the same for a lot of people in the cast. All he’s got going for him is a lot of money and family blood. Anything else beyond that was Eirik’s own hard work.

He’s also five years older than the MC, who is only eighteen. Think a little about how much a person and learn and grow in that time.

In fact let’s put it into a more modern example so its more clear. Within four to five years, someone can go to a post secondary institution and develop all the skills they need for their career, get an internship and or continue it. It’s like comparing someone with a full bachelor degree versus the a person who just fresh out of high school. That feels unfair doesn’t it?

Now, the only characters truly around the MC’s age we’ve met so far are Finny and Thea. And they are don’t compare to the literal veterans in their fields either. You really think Finny can take on Sieg and survive? Ha. Wait until you meet him. Yes Thea, is talented, yes she had a jump start at magic, but that’s because she’s a product of her environment, just like the MC is and Thea is VERY aware of how powerless she really is. If she went up against someone like Medea or Rothbart in battle, she’s dead. End of story.

Since you referenced my replies in previous asks,(very old asks now that I think about it) I can assume you’ve must have read a lot of what I’ve written, so i am astounded at your ability to not comprehend the kind of story this is…or you do, but still choose to follow and be upset when it remains to be exactly what I say it’s going to be.

How many times do I have to say it without saying it directly that the MC is the underdog? Their biggest disadvantage is that this succession crisis begins right at the beginning of their adult life? The audience for this game is 18+ surely you have enough media literacy to understand this.

If you cannot accept these fact then I will kindly ask you and your power tripping kind to leave. The story is written in a fashion that there is a lot of grey and nuance between the characters and their upbringing and the conflict. Eirik is an antagonist, but his flaws are rooted in his backstory that is written to be sympathetic and human, because he IS human. But god, if you cannot handle Eirik, you’ll barely be able to handle the rest of the cast.

If you cannot understand or have sympathy for a boy who’s lashing out because people are trying to forget his father was brutally murdered in a civil war by his own family, then everything else is going to fly over your head and your going to have a bad time- and honestly look stupid when you come crying into my inbox. Step outside and talk to some people, you could gain some emotional intelligence, it’ll do you some good.

This is not a power fantasy. You’re not going to get all powerful and trample over people to get your way. No, you’re going to have to make alliances, understand the MC is only one person in an conflict involving an Empire. The MC is going to be feeling a lot of negative feelings because their human like everyone else who has flaws and weakness.

I will never change my story to appease you so you’re talking to a wall. If you can’t handle that, you’ll be happier if you leave, unfollow, rate the game no stars.

This is the last time I’ll be replying to a comment like this because honestly, you and I have better things to do.

[rainbow-beanie]

Prediction for what’s gonna happen during episode 9:

Simon finally is reunited with Betty, in the form of globbetty, who is still conscious within glob.

She can’t possibly be separated from glob, cause she’s afraid that if/when she is, glob in just gonna try to end the world again. And she wouldn’t want to be responsible for the end of the world a second time.

Betty, possibly through telepathy, basically tells Simon that he shouldn’t worry about her, cause she’s alive and unharmed, and that he should focus on finding happiness himself, even if she’s not around. And possibly reminds him of all the people that care about him, like marcaline, Finn, princess bubblegum (possibly) and many others, he just needs to get himself out there and meet them. Not as ice king, but as Simon. The same Simon she had fallen in love with all that time ago. And that no matter where he is, she will always be with him.

Does that not feel like a tearjerker? I’m betting that the main reason the next episode is gonna be really emotional is cause Simon will finally have to come to terms with the fact that he cannot save Betty, at least for now. This is something prismo had told him, which is why he was mad at him. Cause to him it felt like the wish caster was another obstacle preventing him from saving her, even if we know that’s not the case. But it’s another thing entirely to hear the same thing come from the person he’s trying to save in the first place.

To make a long story short, I want the same thing I’ve wanted since the beginning of all this: for Simon to survive all this, make his way back to his version of ooo, and possibly find peace with the fact that he can’t save his princess like he had hoped. But instead of only feeling down about this, he reminds himself of what Betty had told him, about how there are so many people that still care about him and want him around, even if he’s not magical like everyone else.

Speaking of which, I’d love it if there was a plot twist that he still had control of ice and snow, even without wearing the crown, since he’s been ice king for so long, his body has already adapted to the feeling of the ice powers running through his veins. Now I can imagine you’d be wondering to yourself, “but beanie, if Simon still had control of the ice powers, then why have we not seen any hints of that yet?”

Well, I think we may have gotten a hint waaaaay back in episode 4, when prismo was scanning Simon’s brain, he gets a error message and then says this:

“Nope. Still locked.” Still locked? Now when I had first heard this, I thought he was talking about ice kings mind that he had been locked out of. But that wouldn’t make sense, since ice king no longer exists, so wouldn’t the error message instead say ERROR, DATA NOT FOUND. cause without ice kings mind, there would be no magic to keep the link open. But that still doesn’t answer the question as to what is locked. Well I’m thinking that something else might be locked, or in this case blocked, like something was jamming the signal.

His ice powers are blocked.

Why would it be blocked, you ask? Well we all know that Simon’s slow descent into madness prior to becoming ice king was extremely traumatic for him, to the point that he physically flinches at the sight of ice, and isn’t at all comfortable with wearing the blue gown/robe that had originally belonged to Ice king. Simon didn’t want anything to do with ice king, and that included anything related to ice and snow, even if it’s in the form of small ice cubes in a glass. Hs ice magic had been blocked off by Simon himself, albeit unconsciously, it’s like how sometimes someone will block out a memory related to a traumatic experience in order to heal, the same thing would apply to the ice powers. And Simons powers being blocked off is one of the main catalysts for Fionna and cake’s dimension being changed.

Thanks for coming to my tedtalk.

[peterpparkrr]

Pinned (Pt. 6)

Series: Pinned

Pairing: Anthony Bridgerton x f!reader

Summary: The course of true love never did run smooth.

Word count: 1.9k

A/N: I’m so sorry! But we are close to having some real breakthroughs!

prev. part // next part

It doesn’t take long for him to find you. You’ve changed your work schedule. Asked your fellow tailoresses not to tell anyone who asks what days you work now. No matter how much money they offered them. 

But within days Anthony has already tracked you down. 

The power of wealth and primogeniture, you suppose.

“You shouldn’t be here,” You tell him as he makes his way up to you as you’re trying to purchase fabric from a wholesaler in the market.

There’s no teasing in your voice now. Not a hint of amusement. Just your mouth in a hard set line as you stare at Anthony Bridgerton.

“Are you alright? Has something happened?” He asks lowly as his eyes search your own, full of concern.

There’s no putting this off. He won’t ease up until you put a stop to this.

“No, we need to talk,” You tell him. “Privately.”

He allows you to pull him into the secluded alleyway. With the lines of laundry strung between the buildings and the din of the crowd in the street beside you no one will see you back here and no one will hear you. 

“People know,” You tell him. “About us.”

“There will always be rumors-” Anthony starts to argue.

You cut him off with a sharp shake of your head. 

“No you don’t understand, we can’t keep doing this if people are going to find out.”

“What are you trying to say?” Anthony asks after a beat, his own face now hardened to match your own.

You sigh as you glance to the side, turning away from him ever so slightly.

“Lord Bridgerton, we cannot see each other anymore.”

Anthony doesn’t say anything to that. He merely stares at you, shaking his head ever so slightly. 

“Lord Bridgerton,” You repeat, with even more emphasis. “Whatever this is, it needs to stop.”

“I can’t stop. I want to be with you. I need to be with you.” He tells you. His eyes shine as he pulls you to face him, pulling you close so that your faces are mere inches apart. “You are all I can think about.”

“My lord, you forget yourself,” You say as you carefully extract yourself from his grasp, placing distance between you two as you shake your head.

“Do I?” He asks. “I could make you happy, take care of you. I could buy you a home, a proper home, we could-“

“We could what, exactly? Meet in the dark of night? After your pretty little wife goes to sleep you’d crawl into my bed?” You ask as you cross your arms over your chest.

“I cannot marry you,” Anthony blurts out before he can stop himself. Before he can realize just how harsh those cruel words sound when they land on you.

“Obviously not, my Lord,” You reply stiffly.

“I will never be your mistress,” You tell him plainly. “I will never judge another woman for doing what she must to survive, but that is not the life that I want for myself. I cannot do it. I will not be beholden to your whims, I will not live my life by your rules, the fact that you would even dare to ask me to do so means that you do not know me at all.”

“I’m not asking any of that,” Anthony argues. “I won’t ever treat you like that. Just let me take care of you.”

“There are already rumors, it’s only a matter of time before we end up in one of those gossip columns,” You say. “My brother has aspirations. I have aspirations. We will not survive this kind of scandal.”

“Please,” Anthony pleads. “We can be more careful. We can-”

“Your feelings for me are a fantasy. You’re attracted to the idea of an escape. From your life. From your duties,” You tell Anthony. “And the fact that you cannot grasp why what you’re asking of me is problematic just demonstrates to me how you cannot even see your own privileges.”

“I will bid you goodbye,” You finish. “My lord,” You add with a small curtsy before you turn on your heels and leave the alley before Anthony has the chance to respond, disappearing into the crowded street.

You walk straight into the crowd. And you don’t stop walking or look back until you’re home.

Once you’re inside your flat with the door closed soundly behind you, you collapse into the wooden chair at the small table in the corner against the window with a sigh, your head falling into your hands as the tears begin to stream down your face.

Later that week, Anthony was sitting in his mother’s sitting room, nursing a cup of tea whilst Hyacinth did her best with the Beethoven piece in front of her as she sat at the pianoforte. 

“Well done, dear,” Violet Bridgerton cheered on her youngest child once the piece came to a merciful end. “Would you go tell Mrs. Kroll that I would like to push dinner to eight tonight? Your sister and her family should be here by then.”

Hyacinth nodded to her mother before scampering out of the room.

“I’m so glad your sister can make the visit, it’s wonderful to have all my children together under one roof. And to see your sister so happy,” Anthony’s mother told him as she smiled fondly. 

Daphne’s marriage to Simon, the Duke of Hastings was the greatest success of his mother’s life, other than her own happy marriage and subsequent right children. She couldn’t have dreamed up a more advantageous marriage for her eldest daughter, and a love match at that. 

“It is indeed,” Anthony replied, placating his mother the best he can. He knows that her sending Hyacinth out means she wishes to corner him into a conversation and now all he can do is brace himself for whatever she has to say. 

He knows what the subject will be. The not-so-subtle mention of Daphne and her happiness combined with the fact that his mother had introduced him to every eligible young woman she had ever made the acquaintance of made her goals for this season quite clear.

His marriage was her next project.

She wants to know why progress has stalled. And Anthony doesn’t know what to tell her. He can’t tell her the truth. That you had ripped his heart out in that alley. 

“You’re turning into quite the dandy, Anthony,” His mother commented as she turned her attention to him.

“Am I?” Anthony asked.

“Benedict told me that you’ve been to the tailor nearly every other day,” Violet continued. “I can’t imagine where this sudden care for your appearance came from.”

Anthony was going to kill his loose-lipped brother. He should have never mentioned the pretty tailoress to Benedict. 

“Well, with all these parties you keep dragging me to. I have found my wardrobe suddenly lacking and had need to purchase some new clothing,” Anthony tells his mother, trying to keep his voice as neutral as possible.

Causing her to merely hum in response.

“What? Mother,” Anthony bites. “If you have something to say you ought to just say it.”

“I can’t help but wonder if you are truly serious about marrying this season if you simply intend to continue on with your ways,” She says as she looks up at him.

“And why would you be calling that into question, because I am taking care of my appearance? Am I dressing like a cad? Or did I just truly look like a slob before?”

Anthony doesn’t mean to sound as defensive as he does. And when his mother sighs he knows he’s been too sharp with her.

“I don’t want to pick a fight with you, Anthony, and I don’t want to bring up indelicate questions, but if you are taking up with a young woman who works-”

“I will ask you to stop speaking now, before you say something that we will both regret,” Anthony states harshly as he stands from his seat. “How I spend my time is none of your business, mother, but for the record, the young woman who works at the tailor shop, who I am sure you know nothing about, or else you would not be making such baseless allegations against her, wants nothing to do with me so you can rest easy at night knowing that she is not my mistress.”

Violet stares at her eldest son with wide eyes.

“It was not an allegation against her, for a woman in her position it would hardly be fair to place the blame on her,” Violet replies with a shake of her head. 

“It is you that I am worried about, I thought after that business last season with the opera singer that you were finally ready to grow up and take your place in this family. But if you are falling into old habits it is not fair to any woman you are involved with, of any standing to string this marriage business along,” She tells him.

“You have a duty to this family. And you have excelled in your position in so many ways, and I am certain your father would be so terribly proud, but whatever it is about marriage, or heirs, or love that you find so challenging, you need to work through it.”

“I just want you to be happy. However you find that happiness does not matter to me,” She continues. “You are my son, I can see the veil that has hung over your life since your father died. I just wish you would let someone in, someone who could help you work through your grief and make you happy. But what you have been doing, has only deepened your loneliness.”

Anthony sits in the silence for a long moment, unable to look up from his shoes after receiving such a profound dressing down.

Violet Bridgerton always had a way of making her disappointment crystal clear to Anthony. But never has it been drenched in so much love and care for her that has forced Anthony to grapple with his life.

“I appreciate your concern, mother,” Anthony finally replies, his voice crackling in a way that he wishes it wouldn’t. “I really do. But surely you must acknowledge that love is not for everyone. Some people are not meant to be happy. Some people are not meant to be in love.” 

“But you are,” Violet presses. “Anthony, you have so much love in your heart, I see it every time you are with your siblings.”

“You just need to find someone who will accept that love, without rules and expectations,” She continues. “And who you will let love you just the same.”

“Forget about duty and honor. Find your happiness.”

Anthony stares off into the distance for a moment as he considers his mother’s words.

“I need to go. I-I need to think,” He finally says as he stands up abruptly. He’s pulling on his coat and rushing towards the door before his brain can catch up with his actions.

“Anthony! Daphne, Simon, and Augie are due any moment. We’re supposed to have dinner at eight!” Violet shouted after her son, though he was already out the door.

[waldensblog]

Alright, I’m doing it. I am reading Shadow and Bone.

For context, I watched the show, but have never read the series before. Now, without further ado...

Alina:  I found Alina a bit irritating at the beginning, because she just seemed to be absolutely obsessed with Mal. Ana in the first few pages says the two are “too attached” to each other, and I felt that way watching the show, with these feelings amplified here. He seemed to have a life, identity, friends, outside of her, but she just kind of waited for him to come back. I loved seeing her grow at the Little Palace when she finally let go of Mal, and embraced who she is as a Grisha, started to have genuine friendships with Genya, Marie, Nadia, and hang around other Grisha. I loved her friendship with Genya so much. It was excellent growth in her, and I loved seeing it. I was a bit frustrated at the end, the way she kind of abandons everyone and runs off with Mal - on the one hand I get it - she doesn’t have the power to stop anything, and she’s saving Mal, but on the other hand, she abandoned a bunch of people to the Volcra, it’s not that heroic, but in a way, that makes it more interesting. I definitely think Alina’s major character flaw is her obsession with Mal, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she kind of regresses in the second book while with him. I generally like Alina, but at times she frustrates me. 

Mal / Malina:  Mal’s character is... not my favourite, but I don’t hate him at this point. At the start he’s a friend who has a life outside his friendship with Alina - he has other friends, an identity of his own, hobbies, etc. He gets pissed at Alina at the Little Palace for getting a boyfriend, basically, and makes his jealousy her problem. It’s fine that he didn’t initially have feelings for her - which probably has a lot to do with the fact that she was a sickly girl with no sense of self - but he made it her problem and was rude. He does at least apologize later and own up to it, but it’s obvious that her past with the Darkling is not a subject to discuss, which is really a shame, because... she should be able to discuss her feelings with her friend, but apparently, cannot. 

I know she’s supposed to have a crush on Mal, but I just don’t ship it. Normally a friends-to-lovers trope is one I can vibe with, in this case, I don’t. They grew up in an orphanage together, in the same household, so it really gives me brother/sister vibes. In fact, the first time I watched the show, I assumed that was how I was supposed to view them. I also can’t help but feel like... her crush on Mal is almost more told than shown. When Mal is introduced, I am told he has blue eyes. This was the extent of the description I had for a while, but as soon as the Darkling showed up... that was another description altogether. I don’t hate Mal at this point, and I don’t ship Malina.

The Darkling / Darklina: 

The Darkling has survived centuries and seen Grisha persecution, endless wars fought on behalf of the monarchy, and he wants to liberate Ravka. His methods? I don’t agree with, but his mission isn’t a bad one, so I understand why some Grisha and soldiers were cheering at the end for him. As I was reading, I was thinking “damn I wish these soldiers would get class consciousness and stop hating Grisha, realizing the King is really the enemy, as he makes them all fight for him!”. The Darkling tries to do just that here. He’s a villain from Alina’s POV (”Fine, make me your villain”), which I think is mostly an effect of 1st person POV - imagine reading these events from his POV. He isn’t a hero, he isn’t a good guy - I’d say antagonist yes, and morally grey.

As soon as Alina meets the Darkling, we get quite the description. His silky black hair, grey quartz eyes, sharp jaw. His strong arm catches her after the initial touch which she feels an immediate connection with (I know, I know, it’s because he’s a living amplifier - but still, all the “literally turns you on” jokes are too easy here!) Later we hear he has a soft voice, a laugh she loves, and she’s eager to impress him. She’s very actively thirsting for him in a way she didn’t really seem to do for Mal. When they kiss for the first time after months of dancing around it all, she noted that she’s been kissed before, but this was something else. There’s a major spark here. I think the feelings are mutual too. When Ivan turns a corner, he has a knowing smile. As a heartrender, Ivan would know if the Darkling seriously had 0 feelings, and in that moment with Ivan, it reads to me like Ivan knew. Later, of course, he gifts her the black Kefta, with his symbol necklace, which is like the Grishaverse equivalent of wearing your boyfriend’s sweater. He wants everyone to know they’re a thing. I think he was really sincerely hurt (and probably surprised by the hurt) when she ran off. She was growing, becoming comfortable as a Grisha, everything going well, and then she just left, no explanation, because his mother said some stuff. Yeah I’d be in pain too. I don’t condone his behaviour when he finds her again, not at all. I think his feelings are still there, as evidenced by the tent kiss, and they are mutual. Despite everything, there is still feelings, still a connection. Things aren’t over. I find myself still ultimately shipping it - even if there’s obviously problematic elements, because of what they initially had, what things can be - basically I just want Aleks to get some therapy, but I know that ain’t gonna happen lol.

Also, when the Darkling said “Can I come to you tonight”, Alina hesitated but my thirsty ass would have been like “Fuck yeah” in a heartbeat. Ben’s performance gave me a crush on his character (and actor) and is isn’t dissuaded here (though I dig show Darkling more as he’s more obviously grounded in humanity - again, probably a consequence of the show being 3rd person POV vs the book being 1st person POV). I am definitely pro Darkling and Darklina. 

Baghra:

Baghra is also morally grey to me. I neither hate nor love her. On the bad, she is an abusive instructor, hitting her students when they fail to perform, and she definitely chooses what information to give in a manipulative way. She does, however, ultimately help Alina, or in her mind she does, and Alina’s perspective too. She warns Alina about the Darkling, and helps her escape, saying she loves her son and doesn’t think he’s past redemption yet. On the other hand, by imparting this information here, now, Alina doesn’t get the chance to confront the Darkling and ask his side (which I find weird - she didn’t like Baghra, but immediately trusts her over her new boyfriend who has been by this point in the story only been shown to help her). It’s also rather frustrating when she calls Alina a “foolish girl” for being involved with the Darkling... like what the hell, it’s not like YOU SAID ANYTHING, FOR WEEKS/MONTHS!!!!! So yes, my feelings are neither pro or anti, just... she’s grey to me. I’ll need to see how she develops in future books to know where I stand.

Next Up: I will wait for season 2 to read the next one, so that I am thoroughly surprised by the show!

[hatsukeii]

Ello there hope your having a good day/afternoon/evening/night I was wondering if I could request for a Sova x FEM!reader where reader falls for the mirror agent Sova after being kidnapped by the mirror agents but has to shoot him in the end to return to Earth 1

I gotchu

—It Kills Me.

Pairing(s): Mirror!Sova x FEM!reader

Genre: Angst:)

TW: Graphic descriptions of blood and guns

Summary: The finger that pulls the trigger always trades a life for another

“I’m sorry it has to end like this.”

Your pistol was aimed straight at Sova’s forehead, just a slight pull of your finger would send his brains splattering onto the floor beneath him.

“Is this goodbye?”

Around Sova laid three other corpses, pools of thick, viscous crimson leaking from the holes in their bodies. Fallen comrades, comrades he had memories with. He had fought alongside. Those who he had laughed, cried, and trained with. The sickening scent of blood, although the metallic hint not unfamiliar, sent everything in his stomach up along his oesophagus. The sight of his lively teammates now nothing but hollow, lifeless shells on the cold ground was enough to make anyone turn their backs and run for their life, yet Sova does not turn. In fact, he stays on the spot, not moving an inch from the barrel of your sheriff.

“I have to do this. I can’t stay here. You know that best.”

You swallowed hard, this was not a nice sight. The sight of Sova, who had been so kind to you despite the fact that you weren’t a part of their earth to begin with, who stuck up for you as the other agents relentlessly interrogated and abused you, the cold, calculating hunter who had a heart of gold, who would not even dare hurt a fly.

The sight of Sova, helpless, betrayed, yet unwaveringly calm.

The trigger was getting heavier by the second as reality continued to dawn upon you. Any more seconds and the trigger would refuse to budge, and you’d be stuck here by your own will.

“I’d always known that this moment would come.”

You allowed his gloved hand to lower the sheriff from his forehead, holding back a choked sob from your throat. You had gone too far to turn back now. Lives have been taken, shots fired. You could not afford to jeopardise your chances of survival and escape for the man whom you had fallen for. That would be absurd.

“Just let me do it and get it over with. Please.”

A warm hand held against your cheek, tilting your head towards their eyes. You couldn’t bear to look at him directly, simply shutting your own and leaning further into his touch.

“Maybe in another life it’ll all be okay. It’ll all make sense. Or it’ll work out.”

You knew that Sage would be back and could redo all of this. Even if you shot him here and now, until his brains were splattered everywhere and his body limply fell to the floor, even if he bled out from all his orifices, Sage would always find a way to revive him. Yet you could not bring yourself to pull the trigger at any cost. Guilt ate at you as you refused to open your eyes.

“I can’t do this, I have to, but I can’t. Please, just come with me. We can run away.”

“I’m afraid I cannot do that, (y/n).”

A single tear rolled down from your eyelid as you tried to suppress the sobs coming from your throat, yet it was all in vain. You felt a pair of lips softly kiss your forehead, a kiss so sweet you almost forgot that this was supposed to be your enemy. And then you opened your eyes, meeting Sova’s warm, brown ones. Amidst the chaos, the bloodshed, the betrayal, Sova still adorned warmth within those eyes, giving you a last look of adoration.

“Just do it. We’ll meet again.”

“I can’t. I can’t, Sova”

You felt the weight from your hand leave, as Sova pushed the barrel of you sheriff flush against his forehead, pulling the hammer down with a click.

“They’ll be back soon. Get out of here while you can.”

“Sova-”

“In another life, we can. I’ll see you soon again, дорогая.”

A deafening bang sounded as specks of goo and blood splattered onto yourself. Prying the gun off Sova’s limp grasp, you let the tears fall as you held him and cried out, wanting to erase this sight from your head. Squeezing Sova’s hand, you gave it a shaky, yet chaste peck, ignoring the blood that had been smeared all over it. That didn’t matter. What mattered was that you got the fuck out of Earth 2 through the teleporter that was being guarded by the four, now dead agents. Sova’s sacrifice would not go to waste.

You approached the teleporter, dipping your trembling fingers through as you the energy on your fingertips shifted.

“I’ll see you again, дорогой.”

With that, you leaped through the teleporter, just as you heard the scout team return from their mission.

Hoooooly shit I haven’t touched writing in ages but this actually came to me a lot easier than I thought it would:D Thank you for the ask anon! Hoping someone gives me fluff all I have in my inbox rn is angst💀

[runelocked]

A PLAYLIST FOR JAMES @bolides & WILLIAM.

holy branches - radical face

When you were young, you’d bite your tongue, / Calm, always did what you were told, / Never ran your mouth, lived life on tiptoes / Only felt peace if by yourself / When mistakes don’t count […] Now I live alone, / Work in the belly of machines, wring my soot-black hands / And I don’t sleep much / Days don’t feel much different from the nights

before the incident!!! when their relationship was good and william honestly thought of him as a pseudo-son!!!! he’s always been shrewd and james reminded him a LOT of his own childhood (except much worse), and this song gives the vibes of an older man trying to pass on wisdom about life to his son or smthn. it’s bittersweet in this context :’)

you’re a mirror i cannot avoid - bad books

But you’re a mirror I cannot void / Strung out and jittery and paranoid, / A leaky battery that can’t keep charged / Get in the car and say what you mean, / Explain yourself to me and I’ll try not to judge you more than you would, / Let me help, I promise not to tell

wails over this song and these two in particular. the tragic events at the diner messed them BOTH up good and i imagine this is from james’s perspective, grieving and trying his very best to cling to a man that is spiralling away from him. the beginning of the end for their dynamic :’) there’s nothing more painful than watching someone else become a shadow of their former self while you’re going through the same thing after all!!!

you’re somebody else - flora cash

Well you look like yourself / But you’re somebody else / Only it ain’t on the surface, / Well you talk like yourself, / No, I hear something else though / Now you’re making me nervous

one of my fav sad songs hands down and fits james and william after the incident TM. from james’ perspective and the part of him that’s devastated (presumably) that someone he’d admired and cared about did this to him… and the grief that comes with meeting the dark side of your heroes :’)

dead things - emilíana torrini

Sad things have to happen sometimes, / Let the snow melt in my mouth / Until my head hurts, until I’m out, / Makes me laugh a bit, makes me cry / Same way you confuse me all the time

this is a jump in time but in my head this song like. perfectly encapsulates how william feels about james as he’s spiralling further and further towards the springlock incident. james is a presence that constantly weighs on him and william is incredibly unstable at the end: he’s just as likely to laugh at james as he is to beg for his forgiveness (though mostly he’ll try to ignore him) — in fact! james is one of the main reasons he returns to try and destroy the animatronics, in the hopes he will pass on too ^_^ and we all know how that worked out ^_^

for the departed - shayfer james

I’ll write a symphony for the departed, / And I have no time for second chances / So I survive on bourbon, blood, and backward glances / And so, the scene begins, / Your cries become the wind / A desperate plea best left unheard / Then my contrived goodbye / A poet’s pantomime, / A drunken jester’s final words

wow look! it’s william having a complete paranoid breakdown over james the night before he returns to destroy the animatronics in 1994!!!! yeah this song captures his feelings towards james (and the others but honestly? it’s always been the boy that unsettles him the most) — i can picture a scenario where william thinks he sees james out of the corner of his eye in the middle of his own house and so, furious and frightened and full of bitter feelings, decides once and for all to put the kid out of his misery by destroying the things holding him here. sets out with an ax to destroy the machinery and end everything […] and is promptly surprised, scared, and springlocked forever !

( i had more for pre-incident dynamics but i didn’t want to bombard you with songs so have these !!!!!!! )

[musicofthenightphantomoftheopera]

I’m not really excited about my birthday this year…..

Come November 17, 2023, I’ll be 25 years old.

I should be excited. I should be making plans to celebrate. But I’m not. Not because I don’t want to, but because I can’t.

That day will just solidify the fact that Covid took away my entire early 20s. The time when I’m supposed to be going out into the world and “figuring myself out” “meeting new people” “making mistakes”and “growing as a person” according to most movies, tv, and people I’ve met. All of that stolen from me. Gone.

I have Asthma, therefore I am disabled. So I have a lot more at risk than most if I catch it. Since 2020 when the pandemic started, I stopped going out to places as often, I wore a mask at all times to protect myself, and others. I stopped going to anime conventions entirely. I didn’t even have a birthday party that year outside of the one my family had cuz I was that scared. And when the vaccines came out of course I got fully vaccinated as soon as I could, But I still exercised all those other cautions.

I like everyone else thought it would be over in a couple months or at least after the vaccines came out, But it wasn’t. due to the disturbingly widespread acceptance of abelism, eugenics, anti vax misinformation and right wing propaganda brought on by covid and those in power who simply cannot be bothered to care about anyone other than themselves & would gladly laugh & celebrate our deaths should we not survive, I like many other disabled people have been forced to become prisoners in our own houses for the last 4 years.

Nowadays I watch through my phone as people and friends alike go to anime conventions, Rennaisance fairs, and other fun life events with absolutely ZERO covid precaution to keep themselves & other safe even though the virus continues to kill ppl by the millions and act as if nothing is wrong.

I see them there and wish I could be there too having a good time and living my life. But I can’t.

(And don’t bother coming at me with the whole “you can’t expect us to mask forever, it’s restricting!” First of all of you don’t wanna end up like me or worse you kind of have to and second of all. It is a goddam peice of fabric over your face. I am asthmatic and I can breathe in not one but TWO masks perfectly fine. So can you ya goddam crybaby. Get it together. )

I know if I go if catch it and run the risk of becoming more disabled than I already am. All the conventions I wanted to go to, the Rennaisance fairs I could’ve attended. All the plans I had for my future were ripped away from me. But not a lot seem to care.

Because the universal truth about ppl in America is that not a lot of people give a fuck about disabled people. Most of them see us as less than human and actively want us to die. Even if it’s their own family members or friends. Anyone the claim to care about. No one is safe.

You have no idea how many horror stories I have of people saying “it’s only killing the elderly and the disabled, so who cares?!” Not only is that ungodly vile but also wholly untrue. It’s killing & disabling ppl my age and also children. But again. Not enough care.

I used to be so excited about seeing what the world had in store for me in the future. But now I don’t think I have one anymore. And how can I be excited to experience a world with so much ugliness that I’m pretty much risking my life every time I leave the house nowadays?

If the plague doesn’t get me there’s the risk of a wacko that just so happens to have a gun deciding to shoot up a place because of their inhumane ideology or they were “having a bad day” or run the risk of a man literally doing one of the worst possible things you can do to another human and knowing that because of the state I live in, I will be penalized or even imprisoned for not wanting a rapists baby.

It makes me never want to leave the house again even though I desperately want to. And want to be part of the world again. But I can’t. Because even if I do nothing at all, I’ll be punished. But I don’t really know what I can do or if there’s anything I can do to fight back besides voting. I have no political power. I have almost no money no matter how hard I try to work for some, And no resources. I also recently moved to a very rural area. I have no friends that live near me nor do I know or know if I can trust anyone here, therefor Di have no community to rely on. Besides my family I’m basically completely isolated. And it feels like my granny and I are the only sane ones left in my family because my mom and stepdad refuse to wear masks. My mom got the vaccine but refuses to mask.

I can’t leave because 1 I’m broke, 2 I’m also autistic which actually bans me from gaining citizenship/a visa in certain countries, and 3, this fascist ideology is spreading and abelism and covid are still pretty much everywhere. There is no true escape.

I can’t even get any therapy for what I’ve been through due to the US Healthcare system being a sick joke and I can’t afford it and of course the risk of having an ableist therapist or one who has zero experience with autistic ppl or one that’s just there to collect a paycheck.

What am I supposed to do? Why do I even bother trying anymore? What’s the point of living if I’m just living in a constant state of fear, anxiety, anger and hopelessness and misery? I can’t get excited about Halloween, Christmas, or even my own birthday anymore because I’m so emotionally exhausted and I feel so hopeless. And don’t even get me started on climate change anxiety.

There’s not really a point to this. I just needed to vent and wanted to share my experience.

[lone-wolf-no-more]

20,000 Leagues Over my Head...Nope, I got this!

Wednesday, February 8th, 2023

Pretty uneventful day. I mean, yeah, there’s the whole trading stuff, blah blah. This morning consisted of a LOT of me getting absolutely psyched up for the future. Now more than ever I want to just get income streams nailed down (bad illustration, you can’t nail down water, unless if it’s frozen, perhaps), so that I can focus on the things that I really, truly enjoy.

I know very well that the reason I went on for like a half hour this morning to my sibling about music and storytelling, etc, is because those are things that really light a fire in me. If trading or investing ever get me excited, it’s because it’s a vehicle for making what I truly care about more prevalent in my life.

This morning I learned of a farm in Virginia, named “Polyface”, that has become a veritable mecca and mold for sustainable farming. Every element of that farm is a huge representation of what farming looks like when all the crops and animals live symbiotically with each other and the land.

Now more than ever I'm seeing (and believing) the FACT that immersion through learning from, and alongside others who are on the same journey as you, and who are already majorly skilled, is THE KEY to learning way faster. It isn’t just watching lots of YouTube videos or reading books (although heaven forbid I dissuade people from doing that, absolutely not!).

A few weeks ago, I was getting downright overwhelmed by all the information and sites online related to outdoor survival, homesteading, nutrition, and such. Now I see that the key to fast tracking things is seeing these things as supplemental, and that they serve to ultimate lead you to the people who are masters in these areas.

I have my eye on two different survival courses taught in-person by master Bushcraft practitioners. And I already know that the way forward for my businesses is through joining yet another mastermind comprised of other business owners and business buyers who are “A-Game” material.

The reality is, you truly CAN’T try to read and properly digest a lot of information in a short time on your own, and expect to make it part of your life. It is in the actual DOING (again, along with other students and masters) that you pick things up quickly.

What did we do before the internet, before we had access to soooo many sources of information and articles, and videos? We learned through apprenticeship, through connecting with others at places of commerce, of business, of meeting.

So my point is, written materials and books simply CANNOT be the end-all! I cannot deny that because of them, I am making headway in life. But ask yourself, what is arguably the biggest teacher we know? LIFE itself, along with those who have already been taught by it, in CONJUNTION with "book learning" and other methods.

This ties into what Eissac was saying about feeling awkward in public, and being worried about not looking like he was supposed to be somewhere, because I'm speaking about "public squares", if you will, being places of growth.

I completely understand that struggle, of wanting to blend in, as it were. Now, I don’t mind standing out because people like me, or appreciate what I’m doing. On the other hand, fear of embarrassment is a real struggle, and in my case, a very real, very real strong fear of rejection in general.

Can’t tell you how many times my heart rate has immediately climbed just because I saw that red number next to somebody’s face when they messaged me on Discord, or when somebody “whispered” me on Twitch. Even though it is almost NEVER the case, I’m always worried, “Shoot, I hope I didn’t say something out of turn, I hope I didn’t do something I wasn’t supposed to.”

Cuz let me be honest. There are times I sometimes wonder (in the online space in general), “Do I know this person well enough to be this frank with them?” Or maybe, "Should I even just message them directly with a word of encouragement?" I don’t want to come across as awkward or whatever. Online etiquette is a very strange thing. When you’re actually with people, it’s far easier to “read the room”, and know how goofy or how chill you should act in a given situation, or if you should hold back in other ways. Online, you just kinda have to tread carefully, and realize that sometimes despite your best efforts, a few lines of text are going to hit somebody the wrong way sometimes, and that’s just the way it is.

Here’s a “minor tip”. If we are talking about messaging females (in this case I’m thinking of Twitch streamers), even if several months go by of you being in their community, do your best to REALLY get to know them, and show support for them, before assuming you can just up and message them directly with something even bordering on mushy. Look, I’m not saying I said anything incredibly embarrassing to anybody, but it was still one of those times that I assumed too much, and sent a message along the lines of, “Just wanted to send you a virtual Christmas-eve hug.” Yeah, that happened. I mean, yes, I’ve been part of this person's community for over a year, but I think even that may have been too much. I don’t know if I’m overthinking this, but if I am, at the very least you’re getting a peek inside how my brain works in this area lol.

Now, in regards to “putting myself out there”, I’ll be honest. I haven’t been to an in-person anything for awhile now. Like...four months. It’s very complicated, but I understand if you’re quick to accuse me of being cowardly or whatever.

In any case, the closest thing I had to that was when a Twitch streamer friend was doing a Discord watch party, with voice chat on. Let me tell you, my heart thumped a mile a minute before I could work up the courage to click the voice channel and join. But, once I did, I felt immensely better. I did fall into the typical “I’m new here and super nervous so I’ll talk and be weird just a little too much as a defense mechanism”, but no lie, I felt better afterwards. All the people in chat welcomed me with open arms, even though, no joke, I had joined the server like a day prior to that. I was basically on cloud nine after that.

I had an amazing mindfulness session today. I used the audio of this

to really help me zone out. That half-hour went by pretty quickly.

There’s still some “nighttime anxiety” as I type this in regards to what the future holds. You see, in past me would’ve been like, “We’re fine, we got bots making us money, and we can ride that wave indefinitely.” Now, I’m more like, “Nope, can’t rely on that source of income, or even two sources. Want to be able to competently trade Nasdaq, too. Want at least one other active income stream before I set out on my own.” Months of pain and preparation and sleepless nights have led to this moment. I’m determined to get out of here by Easter.

To be 100% honest with you, I’m pretty terrified of leaving. This is all I’ve known for quite some time, even though I literally only have one person in this house on the same page as me, in more ways than one. And they're the one who's also skipping town with me when the time comes.

I’ll be moving to a new state, with no car, no friends in the area, and SO MUCH uncertainty. Yes, I’m been researching short-term rentals a LOT, and renting in general, and of course, seeing what area of that particular state seems to be the best fit.

I have to also figure out a storage unit and moving company (I simply CAN’T leave my stuff here, once I’m gone, I’m 100% gone).

But it’s time to just ignore that need to try to have everything figured out, and finally start this crazy adventure! Soon! With each passing week, all I’ve done to this point is "compound that certainty" faster and faster.

The road goes ever on and on, down from the door where it began…

Today's Music:

I was reading 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea the other day, and this track came on during a very poignant moment of the main characters exploring an underwater kelp forest. No joke, I got major chills, and was sucked into the story even more. This piece on it's own pulls on my heart strings. Yes, I'm a softie, and I'll own it.

If you're wondering, Eastshade is a visually beautiful, story-driven game where you play a traveling painter who captures gorgeous scenes and vistas.

Todaloo

[hongyueg]

'Land of the Cranes' Review

Land of the Cranes

By Aida Salazar

Genre: middle grade, realistic fiction, poetry

Content warnings: ICE, discrimination against migrants, racism, severe sickness, hunger, abuse of minors, forced family separation, rape, death

Description: “Nine-year-old Betita knows she is a crane. Papi has told her the story, even before her family fled to Los Angeles to seek refuge from cartel wars in Mexico. The Aztecs came from a place called Aztlan, what is now the Southwest US, called the land of the cranes. They left Aztlan to establish their great city in the center of the universe-Tenochtitlan, modern-day Mexico City. It was prophesized that their people would one day return to live among the cranes in their promised land. Papi tells Betita that they are cranes that have come home.

Then one day, Betita's beloved father is arrested by Immigration Customs Enforcement (ICE) and deported to Mexico. Betita and her pregnant mother are left behind on their own, but soon they too are detained and must learn to survive in a family detention camp outside of Los Angeles. Even in cruel and inhumane conditions, Betita finds heart in her own poetry and in the community she and her mother find in the camp. The voices of her fellow asylum seekers fly above the hatred keeping them caged, but each day threatens to tear them down lower than they ever thought they could be. Will Betita and her family ever be whole again?”

There are a lot of horrors in this world and the United States’ abuse of undocumented migrants is definitely one of them. Aida Salazar’s middle grade novel in verse Land of the Cranes takes on this horror, not through the eyes of an adult, but through the young, sensitive perspective of a nine-year-old. Through Betita’s narration, readers witness the atrocities Betita, her mother, and the migrants she meets endure in a brutal detention center. This is a hard book to read, but it is even harder to be the one experiencing this abuse firsthand.

What I enjoyed:

-Salazar’s poetry is powerful. Each poem captures the voice of a young girl enduring trauma so realistically. You can really feel Betita’s fear, confusion, and anger and the imagery in the poems are incredibly strong. This is a very emotional book and Salazar’s simple, but poignant word choices capture these emotions well.

-The way Salazar tackles serious topics such as rape, deportation, family separation, death, and more is done so skillfully. This is a book for children, but that does not mean children need to be shielded from the horrible things that happen in real life. The fact we see all these things through the eyes of young Betita emphasizes the horror of these atrocities while also giving a character readers can relate to as Betita, like anyone, is more than just her trauma. She is a girl who likes to draw, is close to her father, and is kind to her friends. Salazar discusses trauma in such a human way. The horrors that occur aren’t in the narrative to scare readers, but to show what really happens in these detention centers and the very real effects they can have on the people who are forced to endure them. 

-I also liked Salazar’s discussion of activism and how social media hashtag activism isn’t always enough. While hashtags aren’t entirely meaningless, they still can’t always bring about change and especially not the systematic changes that are needed. While this novel discusses systemic issues, it’s more about the effects of systemic discrimination rather than the solutions to negating them. This makes sense as this novel is told from the perspective of a young girl who, due to the restraints American society has forced on her, cannot do much to create change (also, it’s shouldn’t be her job to fix these issues). Still, I love how we do see resistance among the characters even when things feel hopeless.

-The ending was done very well. With such a serious topic, I was worried the book would end on an inauthentic happy note that just wouldn’t fit with the realistic tone the novel possesses. [SPOILER ALERT] Salazar does an incredible job ending the book, not on a hopeful note, yet not on an overly depressing one either. Not every story has to have a happy ending, but not every story has to have a sad ending either. Land of the Cranes finds this balance between happiness and sadness and ends in a way that shows realistically what may happen while also still leaving some warmth for its readers, however feeble it may feel. [END SPOILER ALERT]

-The drawings in the book are wonderful. They illustrate the emotions conveyed in the poems well and are simply fun to look at. They are little rays of hope in a dark story and it makes sense as drawing is where Betita is able to find some relief.

What I thought could be better:

-Not that much. There really isn’t anything major I have to complain about in this novel. I really appreciated how Salazar humanized her characters, so it doesn’t feel like she is placing detained migrants’ trauma on display just for the sake of shock value. So much care is put into the words, drawings, and plot. 

Land of the Cranes is an emotional, powerful read that I definitely recommend to anyone looking for a fictional novel that humanizes the experiences of undocumented migrants and motivates readers to action.

[yanderemommabean]

Mermaid? Yandere mermaid?! Shake mermaid (merman) yandere?! Protective, bitey, siren boi?!

You stir in the waters slowly, feet kicking to keep you afloat while looking to the sky as the sun begins to set. You didn’t want to leave the serene waters, the cooling sensation on your skin mixed with the near weightless feeling made you feel inner peace that didn’t come with everyday life.

You’ve been here for hours, skin warm and definitely burnt to an extent (sunscreen has never worked for you, no matter what, you always set sun damage) so you should at least give in and take a good nap right? Let your cells heal what they can before the burning sensation really kicks in and you regret ever existing at the same time as the sun?

You shake your head and splash back into the waters, wanting to be care free for just a bit longer while your friends pack up and clean. The waters here are secluded, deep and still during the day, save for a few small fish that pass by your feet or some bugs that won’t fuck off from landing on you.

“Dude! Seriously, you know swimming at night is dangerous!” one calls out, waving to try and get your attention, but you just dip your head back and let the water block out the noise of their nonsense. Yeah ok bad idea for your ears, but hey short time solution! You don’t want to go back to the crowded camper with noises that make your skin bristle and people who don’t understand low-social battery. You don’t hate your friends, no, but they seem to think they always know what’s best for you and having alone time wasn’t on that list.

Backstroking, you ignore their growing cries to get you back on land, something about the fish aren’t safe at this time or some bullshit. Whatever, you’ll get to them in a minute. You just wanted to relax a bit more before putting on a smile and pretending to give a shit about the festivities they had planned for tomorrow.

OK maybe you’re cranky from no good food but hey, they’re the ones who can’t cook.

While basking in the hunger induced anger you created, a tug was felt on your ankle. Wet, slimy almost, firm grip tugging you under the waves. You suck in a breath in panic, a yelp being cut off while your head goes under and you take in water. Below the surface, in the now darkened depths with scattered moonlight, you meet the eyes of a creature who drains the color from your face.

Big, black eyes, curiously looking at you. Human like, finger- like appendages grasping your calf and tugging you closer. You’re horrified, fighting to break free only for another arm to come up and grab you, holding you under. The beast's eyes are wide with wonder and awe as they hold onto you, letting go abruptly and letting you rocket back to the surface.

Coughing and sputtering, you feel your lungs burning while trying to call for help, your friends rushing to the waters in a rescue attempt. “Help! S-somethings got me!” you cry out, seeing the whites of your friends eyes in a slight moment of hope, only to be yanked under again, this time more aggressively. You clench your eyes shut, water surrounding you no longer comforting, but suffocating. Webbed hands come up to cup your face, lacing something around your neck. You hold your breath as you kick, however it’s useless. The zero-gravity effect makes any actual possibility of a painful contact a fantasy. You soon wear down, dread overcoming you as your body forces open your mouth to try and take one last breath. Eyes shooting open, you are met with the black voids of the creature before you.

And you’re in awe at the fact you can breathe. You, a human underwater, can breathe. No, no you’re just dying! You’re just hallucinating from lack of oxygen and are about to pass on! Right? No chance is given for you to gather yourself, behind you another being wraps their arms around you and begins to swim downwards to the abyss below, moonlight dissipating into nothing.

The last thing your eyes can make out are the kicking feet and splashing arms of your friends searching for you, helpless and horrified.

“Shh shh” One shushes, cupping your face as you’re brought to a small cave. Your chest was glowing a bright blue, illuminating some of the area as you were laid upon a sandy bank, like that of a grotto. Their heads poke out, watching you gather your senses to the best of your ability, kicking the sand as you cry out for help (in vain, but hope can cause a person to do crazy things).

“N-No danger” a voice croaks out, wincing at the echo your terrorized voice made. They didn’t like knowing you were scared, and the rest of the pod felt the same. More and more heads pop out of the water to observe you, wondering why on earth you were so scared.

Your chest felt like a drum, tight and beating much too loudly. They can TALK? Oh fuck they can talk- and in your language! What the hell is happening?! You just wanted an extra five minutes to swim, that’s all you fucking wanted! Why? Why is life doing this to you?! What is happening?!

You clench your hair and try to stop the ongoing panic attack, tears rolling down your cheeks in frustration and confusion, building up and coming to a head. You let out one more anguished sob before falling to the sand, passing out entirely.

“They’re scared, they don’t know what’s going on” one murmurs, crawling up to the bank and petting your hair back. “We definitely need to explain ourselves, but they can’t take much more stress. What’s our plan?”

The pod talks in chitters and clicks, debating on how to care for you and how to explain their actions. The crystal on your chest thrums with each passing second, indicating your current state of health while the merfolk observe and debate. Some fingers come up to play with your hair, or to feel your soft skin as you are moved to a more comfortable area they could still reach.

They’ve waited a long time to find a new member to join their species, magic being the only way they can reproduce, and seeing a cute, delicate human just waiting in their territory was too good of an opportunity to pass up. It’s a sign! You’re meant to be with them, become one of them and live a new life in the deep!

Of course you wouldn’t exactly take the news well. You passed out just from hearing them talk, you wouldn’t exactly be in a state to comprehend their needs and their dedication to keeping you with them. But they’re prepared! A newcomer is needed, for many reasons.

They survive by having bonded mates, yet cannot reproduce without the help of magic. And to be lonely and have no one to bond with is killing them, literally. They have to have a lover to survive, a second (and in some cases, a third) half to stay alive and well and merry!

One of the merfolk will choose you as their bonded mate, but only if you don’t try to leave. A mate leaving will end a life quicker than a harpoon in some cases! Other cases, it’s agonizingly slow and painful. They can’t risk you, a lovely specimen, leaving and dwindling their numbers even more. They need to make a plan to keep you, whatever it takes.

You’ll learn to love your new marine life! Just give them a chance, will you?

(-Mommabean, hi I wrote this at 4 am and on little sleep! Tell me what you think! )

[monocaelia]

inazuma bound headcanons

their last goodbyes before you depart to the land of eternity.

feat. childe, diluc, kaeya, kazuha, xiao

warnings : inazuma spoilers, slight angst but mainly fluff

❀ childe

despite inazuma being a place not many have ventured to and from, childe isn't the slightest worried for your safety. he knows the dangers of the storming seas surrounding inazuma and of the situation the people of inazuma are in due to the vision hunt decree.

but he prides in the fact that you're strong enough to handle what inazuma has to offer to you. abyss, you've defeated him in battle, there's no way you can't handle a little thunderstorm.

the cheerful chirp of your name alerts your attention to the ginger haired harbinger as he approaches you on the streets of liyue harbor. you raise an eyebrow at him, knowing full well that he shouldn't be here and should be stationed at dragonspine.

before you can scold him about his responsibilities, he scoops you into his arms and spins you around. his laughter rings in your ears and you can't help but smile. any and all thoughts of being mad at him are washed away as soon as his eyes meet yours.

the rest of your day is spent with him, as he won't be able to see you off before your trip to inazuma. he buys you trinkets, food, slings an arm around your shoulders all so you could be reminded of him and how fun it is to spend time with him.

"you know, it's a shame i wasn't stationed in inazuma next. i would have loved to explore it with you and fight at your side for a while longer," childe muses to you as the streets of liyue begin to light up for the evening. his hand is in yours and you squeeze it in reassurance.

"i'll miss you, a lot." your heart swells at his words, pulling him into a comforting embrace. your lips curve into a smile when his arms tighten themselves around you and you can't help but think that you'll miss him too.

"don't forget to send me letters about your visit to inazuma! or else i'll go over there and hunt you down myself, [name]!"

❀ diluc

diluc is not too thrilled to hear that you're departing to inazuma. not that he has anything against the nation, but he knows how hard it is to enter and leave and he knows of the situation the people under the shogunate are in.

but he isn't going to harp you on making sure you can protect yourself. he has faith in you that you'll have a safe voyage over and stay alive while on your journey in the land of eternity. he's seen you singlehandedly defeat and restore dvalin; there's no need to worry about your wellbeing.

his hand brushes against your cheek, moving the hair that curtained your slumbering face. you look so peaceful, so at ease resting against his lap as if you aren't about to set off overseas with no guarantee of your safe return.

you stir from your short slumber, leaning into his touch and diluc cannot help the small smile forming on his lips. "did you sleep well?" he asks, watching you as you slowly get up from his lap. you hum in response and stretch your limbs.

"have you finished packing for your trip?" diluc's question earns a slight frown from you and he raises an eyebrow. "you didn't finish preparing for inazuma, even though you're leaving soon?" diluc's assumption is proven correct when you begin twiddling your fingers and struggling to find a good excuse.

a sigh leaves his lips, getting up and offering you a hand. you bashfully take it. diluc hoists you up and you let out a little laugh when he sends an unamused frown your way. "i'm sorry! i was supposed to finish my preparations today, but i wanted to see you before i had to go."

it's a good thing that diluc has a soft spot for you, otherwise he would have given you the scolding of a lifetime. instead, he gently grasps your hand and flicks your forehead with his free hand before leading you inside the dawn winery so you could properly prepare for your journey overseas.

"i can't accompany you to inazuma, unfortunately, but i'll wish you a safe journey. take care, [name], i'll see you when you return."

❀ kaeya

kaeya is intrigued when you tell him that you'd be leaving for inazuma anytime soon. it's not often that people willingly want to enter storming seas and a land that isn't fond of people traveling to and from.

if anything, kaeya wants to tag along and fight by your side in inazuma. there's not much to do in mondstadt anyways. with jean and diluc keeping everyone in check kaeya didn't really have anything to do besides stir up some drama between the people of mondstadt or provoke enemies of mondstadt.

but he knows that shirking from his duties as captain of the calvary just to accompany you to inazuma wouldn't fare well with jean.

"i'm sad to see that our journey together ends here," kaeya tells you during your final visit to angel's share, for a while anyways. you roll your eyes and gently shove him with your shoulder. you know he's trying to pull at your strings from the way his sapphire eye glimmers in mischief.

"it's not going to be forever, you know. i'll be back before you know it," you reply, taking a sip of your drink. "you're acting like i'm going to inazuma and dying there." you bite back a smile when kaeya sighs dramatically and leans his entire bodyweight on you. a groan leaves your lips from the pressure.

"it's like i can still hear their voice." you snort and shove kaeya off of you, earning a snicker from the taller male. "say, [name], why don't we leave the bar and have a night of our own? just the two of us before you leave."

you pretend to ponder at his question for a moment, but say yes. you don't miss the way his lips curl into a feline smile, or the way his hand encases your own as he leads you out of the tavern and into the chilly evening of mondstadt.

but the chill doesn't bother you. not with kaeya's warm hand intertwined with yours as the two of you laugh and chatter in the warm glow of the street lamps lining the streets.

"are you sure you don't want me to tag along? wouldn't want you to miss me, haha. come back soon. don't keep me waiting."

❀ kazuha

knowing you're about to take off to the nation he escaped from puts him on edge, if he's being honest here. he knows of how brutal raiden shogun can be, stealing the visions of the innocent so she can remain eternal.

yet, seeing the reassuring smile adorning your face calms his nerves. he knows of your strength, of the rumors and tales of you fighting a dragon and a fatui harbinger, but he can't help but worry nonetheless.

his hand gently grasps your own, his fingers drawing shapes along the curves of your knuckles and brushing over the callouses that have formed on your fingertips. your head rests atop his shoulders as the two of you sit on the deck of the crux underneath the stars.

"is something on your mind?" you ask when he pauses in his ministrations. kazuha sighs, pausing briefly before replying to you.

"will you be okay? alone in inazuma, i mean. my homeland is a beautiful and wonderful place, but there is a corrupt and unjust leader ruling over it. i fear you'll be harmed and-"

"and you won't see me again?" you smile and pull away to meet your companion's gaze. there is a storm of worry in kazuha's ruby eyes and you hold his jaw in your hand, thumb rubbing calming circles on his cheek when he leans into your touch and holds your wrist.

"i'm stronger than you think, you've seen that firsthand. i'll be okay, kazuha." your reassuring words seemingly relax the inazuman traveller, but you can still sense the uncertainty surrounding him.

kazuha presses a gentle kiss against your inner palm before sliding his hand up to interlock your hands together.

"should anything happen to you, the wind will guide us together and i shall protect you. stay safe, dear [name]."

❀ xiao

xiao is a bit... unsettled when you give him the news that you're leaving for inazuma in a few days. it isn't often that you get to see him due to his job as one of liyue's yakshas and your travels across teyvat's lands.

he knows you'll be okay in inazuma, but he has no jurisdiction nor power in inazuma. his responsibility lies in liyue and he cannot leave until his duty to protect the nation of contracts has been fulfilled. yet, he wants to accompany you so he can assure your safety and survival against the stormy seas of inazuma.

"oh, there you are," your voice calms the worrying adeptus, even more so when your presence is beside him. he doesn't respond to you verbally, but he spares you a glance before fixing his gaze back to guili plains.

there's a comfortable silence between the two of you, neither of you feeling the need to speak up. but xiao's gentle voice breaks it with a statement you've been anticipating. "it's not too late to stay in liyue so i can dispose of those who harm you."

you turn to face him, not surprised at all to see his piercing eyes already staring at you. "i have to, i need to find my sibling and meeting the shogunate is the only way forward." his lips form a thin line at your answer.

your fingers inch forward to touch xiao's hand; he flinches when your fingers graze his out of instinct. but he grasps your hand before it can retreat, squeezing it as if it would make you stay beside him.

but he knows you have to go, have to find answers on the whereabouts of your sibling even if it meant risking your life.

"if i can't protect you, promise me you'll protect yourself. if you were to get hurt... forget it. just make sure you stay alive."