#for years in a comedy to anyone that's bothered to notice

[writeouswriter]

Comedy is not inherently a lesser form than tragedy; why are you pitting two bad bitches against each other?? They're equals! They're besties! They're lovers!

[patrophthia]

do not make him ‘go away’ | tom riddle

pairing: tom riddle x hufflepuff!reader

genre: literally just fluff and comedy (bc i love turning dark morally grey character into soft babies), superrrr self indulgent, not beta read.

word count: 4.6K

originally posted on wattpad: a while back lol

"i got knocked off my feet not amnesia."

the corner of his lips perked up at her comment, such a small motion that she almost didn't notice.

"i'll keep that in mind." and then, with a disappointed look thrown at malfoy, riddle asked her, "is he bothering you?"

"kind of," she answered slowly, not trusting where this conversation would go. "why?"

riddle ignored her question, opting on following up with his own instead, "do you want me to get rid of him for you?"

or the trope simply the trope of grumpy reluctant boyfriend and bubbly/fun girlfriend.

she had always loved defense against the dark arts. don't get her wrong, the classes and lessons were always great. professor thea was good at her job, teaching them both the theoretical and physical studies that is needed from the subject.

but now, as she landed flat on her butt, she hated the subject more than she could ever imagine. malfoy was a terrible dueling partner, taking every possible chance to knock her off her feet.

"do you want me to go easy on you badger?" he asked tauntingly, towering over her.

she looked up at him —half expecting for him to offer a hand but he only smirked at her. "you're a dick."

"i sure am." he only watched her struggle with amusement.

there was a scoff from besides him and within a split second he was being nudged over. replacing him was the head boy, leaning down to look at her with furrowed eyebrows. he offered her a hand; one which she took and lifted herself up.

she muttered a quick thanks, not sparing him a look whilst she busied herself with wiping soot off of her clothes. looking back up, she found him gazing at her.

"what's your name?" he asked after a minute, watching her with skepticism.

"[name]?" she replied, unsure. he knew her name, surely he did, they had partnered up during sixth year for a potions project and he can't have forgotten it in the span of one year could he? "i thought you already knew that."

"i did." riddle pursed his lips, nodding to himself. "i just wanted to make sure you knew your name."

she scoffed, giving him a dirty look. "i got knocked off my feet not amnesia."

the corner of his lips perked up at her comment, such a small motion that she almost didn't notice.

"i'll keep that in mind." and then, with a disappointed look thrown at malfoy, riddle asked her, "is he bothering you?"

"kind of," she answered slowly, not trusting where this conversation would go. "why?"

riddle ignored her question, opting on following up with his own instead, "do you want me to get rid of him for you?"

if it were anyone else she would've laughed it off as a joke but tom riddle has this ominous thing about him, one that put you slightly on edge, making it seem as though he would actually follow through with his threat.

so —as annoying as malfoy was, she told him. "no." and then, slightly terrified that she would wake up tomorrow with the news that abraxas malfoy had mysteriously gone missing, she added as a precaution, "don't kill him."

she wasn't sure if she was joking or genuinely scared that riddle would do it for her sake. no matter how much he would deny it, to her —he seemed like a feminist, never failing to hand detentions out to male students who mistreated girls. so killing his cult follower for a woman wouldn't be far from how she characterized of him.

"not unless i'm dying then you can kill him."

it was barely a month later when the same occurrence happened; malfoy was her dueling partner once more, malfoy shot her a spell at her that had her landing on the floor, malfoy mocking her for apparently being a 'weak' dueler, riddle pushing him over and offering her a helping hand.

asking her, "can i kill him now?"

to which she replied, without fail. "no."

riddle gave her a dissatisfied look but kept his hands off of malfoy nonetheless, respecting her request.

why he listened to what she said, she couldn't answer.

not until he asked her to call him tom (or maybe something else a significant other would use), not until tom asked to be her boyfriend, not until tom reluctantly agreed to trail after her on a trip to hogsmeade with her friends.

it seems as though tom could never say no to her.

"are you ready?" she asked, peeking her head inside of his dormitory's door.

tom whipped his head around from where he stood in front of his mirror, looking less than excited to be going out today. "yes."

"great," she tried to stop herself from squealing, pushing the door open so she could approach his side. "i can't wait for you to meet them, they think i'm lying to them about you."

tom fully turned himself to face her, giving her a once over and taking in how she looked.

pretty.

as always.

he felt something flutter in his chest, pride for having her? excitement in finally going to honey dukes after hearing so much about it? the hope of being able to convince her to let him make malfoy go away? love?

no it can't be. he was conceived after a love potion, he can't love. feeling slightly frustrated with himself, tom grumbled, "stop looking at me like that."

she furrowed her brows, curious by what he meant. "like what?"

"like you have feelings for me."

"tom," she sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose out of irritation. "i'm literally your girlfriend, i'm supposed to have feelings for you."

tom blinked. her telling him that she was his girlfriend shouldn't have felt as good as he did. what the fuck is wrong with him. defeatedly, he muttered, "i'm breaking up with you."

"yeah sure you are."

•••

"so how long have you been going out?" rae asked, acting oblivious as if [name] hadn't told her every single detail about their relationship.

she smiled, nudging for tom to answer.

tom took a deep breath. a response that rae was silently hoping for after hearing about just how grumpy and moody tom was from her friend. trying to tease him without doing so much as saying anything provoking.

he then smiled, turning on his charms in order to converse. "five months and thirteen days."

trying to get under her boyfriend's skin, [name] frowned, feigning confusion. "five months?"

"yes." tom cleared his throat, glaring at her. "and thirteen days."

"is that right?" rae questioned, trying to irk him. "[name] told me you've only been together for three months."

the slytherin turned to her, his face showing offense. "you did?"

"i love the weather this morning," she said instead, trying to distract him.

yet tom was persistent, he knew they were having a laugh, he wasn't daft, but it certainly didn't feel good to hear rae say what she said. "did you?"

"merlin isn't it crowded today?" she ignored him, looking out the carriage's window as it pulled to halt. she opened the door, landing on solid ground before looking back to where she was sat. with a tilt of her head, she signaled for them to exit as well. "what are you waiting for?"

tom sulked as he got off the carriage, a small pout on his lips. "are you going to answer me?"

she looked down the streets, seeing it packed with people from left to right before turning to him, letting her hand find his and interlocking it. "no."

tom felt a urge to pull his hand away, not used to PDA but it felt so right, so right that he went against his better judgement and mumbled something so stupid he mentally facepalmed himself. "why are you touching me?"

she only giggled in response, noting the confuse tone he had instead of being vexed by his words. "so i wouldn't lose you. you can't expect me to keep track of you with this many people around, can you? i can't lose my boyfriend."

not when he was a dark wizard who was constantly reminded that killing people is a morally wrong thing to do. "what if you start finding people to join your little fan club?"

having to tell him to not use the basilisk for salazar slytherin's quote-unquote unfinished business was hard enough for her to handle, let alone telling forty —maybe even fifty others, that it was a wrong action to take.

maybe it was her 'i can fix him' mentality but in all honesty, tom has been behaving way better ever since they'd gotten together then aragog has all year. and yes, she knew it was wrong to compare a human to an acromantula but when the said human was conceived under a love potion and has no real concept of what love is.

if he was as good as a spider, he was good to go.

"you say that like i'm evil," tom murmured, barely audible due to the loud chatter hogsmeade provided.

"you're not?" she countered incredulously. "didn't you say you wanted horcruxes despite knowing what it takes to make one?"

"yeah but . . ." he trailed off, finding himself at a loss of a word. "i didn't end up making one, idiot."

what an endearing nickname. "that doesn't make it any better, tom. you still thought about it."

"but i didn't make it."

•••

being head boy brought tom gossip. whether he cared for it or not, it always follows him. he had heard every rumors there was, knowing them thoroughly from start to finish. tom never bothered to care about them, not until he found himself becoming friends with a group of girl who would talk their heads of about anything.

with a "come in!" from his girlfriend, tom opened the door to her dorm room. he shut it behind him, eyes roaming around to try and find her. finally his eyes landed on where she sat by her desk, head low, crouching over a long strip of parchment.

"walburga and orion are betrothed." he stated, standing by her side.

"what?" rae screamed before she could, power walking out of the bathroom with her tooth brush in hand. "the blacks?"

"who else," tom said with a roll of his eyes.

that caught her attention, she turned to him, curiosity written all over her face. "aren't they cousins?"

"they're pure-bloods, inbreeding is in their genes," came octavia, [name]'s dormmate and friend who was nicer than rae would ever be. then, with a look of distaste, she added, "how could they force an engagement on orion? he's literally a fifth year while walburga graduated last year. it's disgusting."

"well," rae snickered, "what else would we expect from the black family?"

"i also caught macmillan and weasley are snogging on my rounds today," tom said, sitting down on his girlfriend's bed. "asked me to keep it a secret but there's only so much to be kept in the chamber."

rae chortled, hand covering her mouth. "you know, in my native language they would call you ប្រុសមាត់ក្តួយ (pronounced pros-moit-kdouy)."

[name]'s brow knitted along with tom's, narrowing their eyes at rae. "what does that mean?"

rae only giggled, sitting up on her bed with octavia listening it. "it technically means 'a man who can't keep his mouth shut about drama' in khmer but the literal translation is a guy with a vagina for a mouth."

"what the fuck." tom muttered, eyes wide. the three girls in the room bursted out laughing, that must've been the first time they'd ever hear him curse. "why would you call me that?"

"because you are," rae countered.

"i'm not!" he argued, "you just called me a labia."

"she never called you a labia," came [name] from his side, "you called yourself that."

"i-" tom paused, unable to tell if he himself was angry, annoyed, amused or disgusted by their conversation. "i don't like you guys anymore."

"you're welcome to leave any time you want," rae quipped, gesturing towards the door. "or find new friends."

octavia changed the topic, done with their bantering and told them about a story with a guy she'd met. apparently they'd been going out for a total of three months, keeping it a secret, before he cheated on her.

she was mad at him but he made it seem as if it was her fault; telling her that what she heard was true but he couldn't stop about thinking them. and he knows that she's been there a few time as well, insinuating that octavia could ever do something as wrong as cheating.

there was a look tom shot his girlfriend when octavia finished recalling everything that happened between her and chris marsh.

[name] sighed, knowing why exactly he gave her the look and shook her head. "no."

"but-"

"no buts," she interrupted, pinching the bridge of her nose with frustration, "you cannot kill him. we talked about this tom."

"i know but he's hurting her," he pointed out, "and she's your friend so. . ."

"tom please," she pleaded, "no killing is justifiable unless one of us in danger with actual death."

"promise me i won't wake up to find out that marsh is missing."

"i promise that you won't wake up to find out that marsh is missing," said tom defeatedly.

•••

tom looked ridiculously stupid, he knew that. he sighs, feeling rae smearing wet paint on his face. the things he did for his girlfriend.

if you were to go back in time to tell tom riddle that he would be sitting on a chair getting his face painted black and yellow for a quidditch game, he'd think you were having a laugh and cast a killing curse at you.

but now, being told repeatedly to, "stay still you pesky snake" by his girlfriend's friend as she watched the two of them interact without the smallest hint of jealousy, tom —he would never ever in a million years admit this— couldn't be happier.

there was such a soft domestically about it, him getting along with her friend without the urge to kill rae or for rae to kill him, knowing that they were friends who just liked to threatened one another was more than anything tom could ask for.

he felt good, despite the uncomfortableness that came with donning a different set of colors. he (surprisingly) didn't care that he wasn't dressed in green in silver, being more than happy to be supporting her.

after finally being let go by rae; tom stood up, facing his girlfriend. with a tilt to his head, he asked her, "i thought i could be very persuasive until i met you."

"never thought i'd be going to quidditch game, let alone support another house." his eyes then glanced to a mirror that stood besides her, taking in his own appearance. salazar, rae must be taking the piss, he looked like a clown. eyes shifting back to her, he asked tiredly, "are you happy now?"

"i am if you are," she responded, taking a step towards him."i'm not," tom grumbled truthfully, not hiding a single ounce of annoyance. she shrugged, smiling. "that's too bad, i take back what i said. i'm happy now."

the three made their way out of her dorm and into the hufflepuff's common room to meet up with octavia. tom eyes quickly roamed the room, surprised by how many of the students who were spending their time there was from another house.

from his quick scan, tom had managed to count a total of five slytherins. three of which who were visibly miserable, face painted yellow with their friend or significant other beaming besides them. and the other two, being the ones who were forcing face paint onto their ravenclaw and gryffindor friends.

no matter how much time he'd spent welcomed in the hufflepuff common room. tom would never understand how they could be so comfortable with letting anyone enter whenever they pleased. that would not flow well with the slytherins.

up the great hall they went, passing the grand entrance before leaving the castle entirely and making their way to the quidditch pitch.

with a kiss on tom's cheek, an action that had his eyes widening and face flushed red, she bid him, rae, and octavia a goodbye before making her way into the changing room.

rae led the way towards the stands, fighting with tom about where the appropriate seat for him would be.

"no not in the slytherin section," rae argued, trying to find the best place for their group of three. "how could you be the head boy and be so stupid?"

"you're sitting in the hufflepuff row where your girlfriend would be looking for support from," she said with a tone of obviousness, finally settling down at a place she found best suited for the three of them. "honestly."

the match ended quickly, she'd had spotted the snitch within the first thirty minutes of the game before she started her pursuit and caught it in the next four minutes.

gryffindor lost by a hundred and ten points and without consciously knowing it, tom found himself cheering loudly for her, his voice was overpowered by rae but it was the thoughts that count.

there was a flash from his side, he turned, finding octavia giggling with a polaroid in hand. she wordlessly offered it to him. tom took it, curious as what he would find on it.

the picture developed bit by bit, revealing tom in frozen cheerful state, eyes bright as he watched the scene before him, his forehead was yellow, his mouth gaping with its corner tipping upwards. behind him was rae, on her feet with her hands pressed against the railing, frantically screaming at something the picture couldn't fully depict.

"you're not keeping it." octavia told him. "it's for [name]."

octavia then slipped a hand into her pocket, picking out a new picture and handed it to him. "you can have this though."

inspecting it, tom found a picture of himself frowning on his girlfriend's bed. she sat besides him, laughing as if her life depended on it, her head was thrown back, a hand clutching onto her stomach.

tom pocketed the picture, smiling to himself. "when did you take this?"

"when she told you to not make marsh 'go away'."

•••

graduation came and tom was quick to ask her to move in with him. she was skeptical at first, reasoning with him that neither of them had jobs that provided enough for them to have a financially stable home, but that idea was shot down when tom told her that the ministry had already reached out to him.

offering him a job that would let them live a comfortable life. they moved in together shortly after, finding a small cottage that looked perfect for the two.

she was able to turn her hobbies into a job, making her more than just happy. by 1950, tom —with all his slytherin ambitions— found his way to the top, earning the position of minister of magic.

it was late when tom came home, having to run over a last-minute case that malfoy presented him. he shrugged his coat off, trying to be quiet as to not wake his (still) girlfriend up. tom found his way into their bedroom where he found the en-suite door wide opened, he walked forward trying to take peek.

inside was her stood in front of the mirror, taking off her make up with a cotton pad when she spotted him, her eyes shifted to him for a second before turning back to herself. "how was work?"

"it was good," he answered, tugging at his tie. and then he furrowed his brows, lip tugged underneath his teeth. quietly, he muttered, "let's get married."

she blinked rapidly, not believing her own ears, she whipped around with a small noise of confusion, facing him. "what did you say?"

"let's get married," he repeated casually, finally getting his tie off. "are you proposing to me?" she asked him."yes." he nodded. "i thought that was clear."

"so yes or no?"

the wedding took place two years later, with it being repeatedly postponed due to tom's work but it was perfect nonetheless. they had friends and coworkers (that they actually liked) at the ceremony. rae teased tom endlessly, not once giving him a break for taking so long to propose.

in 1959, octavia invited them to dinner at her house, her and husband having an announcement for them all to hear. but before she got to the good part, octavia told her about some of the not-so-good news.

her husband, dawn, was recently bitten by a werewolf. he was having a hard time experiencing the transitions during the full moon so they had a request for them.

now here comes the good news along with her favor: octavia was pregnant, she was four weeks long and since it was only her and dawn.

she will be needing help.

"that's all?" rae asked, frowning. isn't it already implied that rae, her, and tom would all help her when she'd gotten herself knocked up? "you know you needn't ask right? i will be spoiling that child rotten."

octavia smiled, feeling relief. why did she even feel nervous in the first place? these were her friends, the same ones who collectively bullied every man she's ever broken up with. they will always have her back. "that's all."

and then she added, "i just thought it might be a burden to you guys. it's just- it will be hard since dawn would have to recover from the full moon and i'd have to work, so i need people who i can trust to babysit the kid sometimes."

"you could never be a burden," [name] said, "not when i can be the cool aunt."

"oh please," rae let out a loud cackle, "you would never be the cool aunt. that's me."

octavia gave birth on november, 3rd, 1959 to a lovely girl named clementine calla azure. the same day that the blacks welcomed their first son, sirius orion black. rae (would lie if you ever pointed this out to her) was ecstatic when clementine turned out cuter than the black's son did.

she, liked she had stated months prior, spoiled the child to death. buying it everything it could possibly want, babysitting it every time octavia even looked like she needed help.

octavia —instead of using the time to relax, spent her time creating a wolfsbane potion. making the potion was a tedious process but she had more than enough time from tom changing clementine's diaper because he, despite being forced, had promised that he would also help with her baby.

rae was an author who made enough for herself to live lavishly. apparently, muggles really love the story about a dark wizard trying to kill a little kid for his chance to be immortal.

"so," rae clapped with clementine prompted on her hip. tom, dawn, octavia and [name] were all scattered around the living room, sitting down and listening to rae as she stood. "you're probably wondering why i called you all over."

there were noises of confirmation before rae started up again. "i've been doing some research lately and there's more people who has been involuntary bitten than you would think. basically what i'm saying is that tom —since you're the god of magic or whatever— needs to draw up a new bill where werewolves would be known by the ministry and themselves only so the ministry can provide help."

"werewolves tend to have a hard time finding work and keeping the job since they would have to recover every full moon and miss work days. the potion octavia created is going to be recorded in the history book, we know that, but something else that should be recorded in history is how the lovely tom riddle —who i definitely like and doesn't want to have a one v one with— made a law or whatever, where if a werewolf is legally signed in with the ministry, they get a wolfsbane potion provided by the ministry by owl every month."

"they're extremely costly rae, and they take a ridiculous amount of time to make." dawn was quick to point out the flaw, understanding this topic more than anyone else in the room. "not to mention how there's millions of people like me out there, we won't be able to get them to everybody."

"tom is like the zeus of magic," rae said, slightly irritated that they didn't just agree right of the bat. "if he just created a lab and put twenty of the best witches and wizards in there with large pots and get it brewing, they can make it work. and as for the products needed, there's always herbologists that needs work —not trying to stereotype but most of them are hufflepuffs, they would take the chance to help without even thinking twice."

"it will work, trust me," rae said, almost pleading, "what do you say, riddle?"

the law, or bill, or whatever it was, was put into place shortly after. werewolves were scared and skeptical at first, always having been labeled as monsters until eventually people started piling in for help and they were given what they needed. octavia loved her new job at the ministry for it meant she could be helping out her husband and everyone like him whilst also having the freedom to invent whatever else she wanted.

"tavia brought clementine to work today," tom stated, making his way into their library. "so i've been thinking."

"oh no," she muttered, dropping her book onto her lap, "you never have good thoughts after seeing clementine."

tom tilted his head slightly, narrowing his eyes. "what do you mean?"

"last time you saw her, you decided that it was a good idea to have your basilisk follow after her when she grows up so she'd never get hurt," she answered, looking up at him as he stood before her.

tom shrugged. "i don't see any flaws in that plan, if anything i think it's the best thing for clementine."

"how can you be the minister of magic and be an absolute dumbass?" she laughed, feeling his hand reach down to rest on her cheek.

"because, i'm not," he said easily, eyes focused on hers, "and believe it or not i actually have a brilliant idea that you might actually like for once."

"alright," she muttered, amusing him, "what is it?"

"i think clementine should have a cousin."

"clementine already has a cousin—"

"that's not what i meant, idiot," tom cut her off, a small smile etching on his lips, "you know exactly what i'm trying to say. don't play dumb, pet."

"i actually don't know what you meant," she said matter-of-factly, feigning innocent, "please explain."

tom sighed. "i want us to try for a baby."

"i thought you hated kids."

"i do," he agreed, "but i also know that i wouldn't hate them if they were ours."

— from bee: this was very OOC but idc,,, fluffy tom or no tom ever (i have the i can fix him mentality)

[lastweeksshirttonight]

LEE'S FAQ!

Over the past nearly-two years, I've noticed that I get some questions about John's work asked repeatedly. That doesn't bother me - half of his prominent work is somewhat lost media, Tumblr's search is super fucked, and I always want to help anyone falling down the JO rabbit hole - but I realized that one central pinned post would be helpful! I'll keep this up to date as much as possible.

I know I have a lot of international followers, and if you have any knowledge of where to stream or find some of these items, please let me know and I'll update this post.

WHERE CAN I FIND...?

Anything really, I've just started going down this rabbit hole:

The John Oliver Masterlist is an incredible resource - while it hasn't been updated since about 2017 and has some broken links (especially in the LWT sections), it has functional links to every JO clip from The Daily Show, all the main segments of LWT through 2017, radio shows, and lots of other material. This was made by @johnoliverphotos and @ilovejohnoliver, and I'm eternally grateful for it.

The Department:

YouTuber Ben Jennings has the entire series on his channel.

Player FM has the series uploaded here as well.

The Bugle:

The Bugle Archive has all Times Online era episodes available to download. PLEASE DOWNLOAD THE EPISODES DIRECTLY; DO NOT STREAM FROM THIS SITE.

The Bugle is starting to upload Times Online era episodes to their official channels, which can be found here. They're up to ep 75 as of Feb 2024.

All post-Times Online episodes (starting with episode 179) are available on The Bugle's official channels linked above.

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart:

Have you perused the John Oliver Masterlist above? This is the best way to find direct links to JO clips from The Daily Show on the Comedy Central website, because this shit is still not streaming anywhere else. Use a VPN if you're outside the US to view.

There are a small handful of TDS episodes available for purchase on Amazon Prime if you're in the US. I have no idea if any of them feature JO in any meaningful way - I will update this section once I review that.

Otherwise, you're gonna have to sail the high seas to watch this. I'm sorry that this is the state of the US' most important comedy show of the 2000s. Maybe Paramount will drop it on us when Stewart comes back to host TDS, who knows.

Community:

In the US, this can be streamed on Netflix and Hulu. Individual episodes can be purchased on YouTube, Apple TV, and Amazon Prime.

Worldwide, Community is available on Netflix until April 1st.

Every season of Community is available on DVD and Blu-Ray.

John Oliver's New York Stand-Up Show:

In the US, the whole show is on Paramount Plus and can be purchased through Amazon and Apple.

The godawful Comedy Central website has limited episodes for viewing. You'll need a US cable subscription to watch more than the first episode of every season, because of course you do.

Back catalog episodes of Last Week Tonight:

You can buy back catalog episodes on YouTube and Amazon in the US.

In certain areas outside of the US, LWT is now being uploaded in full on their YouTube channel. I'm glad that there's more offerings for you all!

HBO Max no longer has back catalog episodes because capitalism is fucking ridiculous, I pay monthly for this service entirely for this show and I can't even watch old news from 5 years ago

The Horne Section:

The whole series is on Taskmaster Supermax+, which should work everywhere except the UK.

In the UK, you can stream this through Channel 4.

BLOG-SPECIFIC QUESTIONS

How did you get into John Oliver?

I answered this in too much detail in two posts, here and here.

Where is your icon from?

UPDATED: It was made by the lovely @stalebagels for me. She is wonderful <3

Is this blog a bit?/Do you really find this man attractive?

No, this is not an ironic bit, I really like John Oliver and find him genuinely hot. (Tbf, I get this question way more in person than online.)

[shoechoewarriors]

I just finished reading Johnny the Homicidal Maniac by Jhonen Vasquez. To be honest, I didn't really know what to expect going in- all I've ever heard about it was from people going "Can you believe Nickelodeon asked a guy who makes stuff like that to make a children's show!?" After reading it, I can say that it's definitely interesting in a way I don't think any basic plot description could've fully prepared me for, and I kind of want to dump my thoughts about it as I just come away from it.

As the title would suggest, its most noticeable surface-level feature is that there is a lot of gore. It gets about as brutal and graphic as it can with its cartoony art style- I was actually a little bothered by it a couple of times. There are a lot of things reminiscent of Invader ZIM beyond its art style- it shares a lot of the same humor, its randomness (often to the point of stupidity), and the chaotic nature of the story progression. (There are also two aliens that show up in a few pages that I'm pretty sure are the same aliens that appeared in the IZ episode Abducted, which would mean that ZIM and JTHM take place in the same universe...? Interesting.) In a lot of ways, it had the same energy as ZIM, but lacking the restraints of a children's network- admittedly, it was very fun and tickled the twelve-year-old ZIM fan part of my brain.

The story itself is a bit trippy and somewhat disjointed. There are lots of times where Johnny will go on long monologues about how he sees himself and the world (alongside blocks of text at the beginning and end of each issue from Jhonen himself). The actual story is cut up in-between little unrelated comics of various characters getting slaughtered and mutilated in some way, facing their inner turmoils and making other people miserable, or yelling incoherent word salads and then getting murdered. You are often left unsure as to whether some of the story's events were really happening or just Johnny dreaming or making things up. It also gets kind of cosmic horror-ish at one point, but that proceeds to end itself somewhat abruptly.

I haven't looked at any discussion of the comic and what it's *really* about yet, but my first impression coming out of it is that it's... a lot of things, really? It's a nihilistic black comedy, but I got the feeling that it was also somewhat of a vent story- A lot of JTHM is dark humor and absurd scenarios for the sake of societal criticism and expressing frustration with the world. It brings up a lot of ideas about what the "nature" of humanity is, if there is a caring God, the good and bad of living, and ultimately, what the true "evils" of society are and what causes them- all told through the eyes of a weird morally bankrupt loner that likes torturing and murdering people he doesn't like.

Most of the people that Johnny goes after are assholes and bullies, generally bad people, or anyone that just generally upsets or inconveniences him in day-to-day life. His arc throughout the story is discovering who and what "controls" him in his search for true freedom- and through that, he realizes that he, himself, is a massive contributor to why everything is so awful, eventually seeing people like himself as one of society's issues (but not really doing anything to change or control his behavior, which, to me, suggested he really never attained the "freedom" he desired so much). It was quite interesting to have a main character like that.

And, while I do not really know anything about Jhonen Vasquez as a person, a good amount of Johnny's traits struck me as... maybe a bit of a projection? A lot of the blocks of text from Vasquez at the start of issues will have him describe his thoughts and behaviors, and then in the story, Johnny displays a lot of those same thoughts and behaviors, like his hatred of sleep resulting in him regularly staying up the entire night and his tendency to experience loneliness and sadness (though, of course, these blocks of text might also be Jhonen simply putting up a persona as well.) Still, though, I wouldn't be too surprised if a lot of things about Johnny were in fact an exaggerated depiction of the author's own perceived negative traits and turned into an edgy serial killer character (especially since I know that this is indeed the case for a lot of Vasquez's characters, like ZIM in his inability to realize when his ideas won't work and Dib in his undying need to prove himself above all else in IZ.)

JTHM was one of the most unique things I've read in a while- it's one of those stories that sticks in your brain and leaves an uneasy feeling in you when you come away from it, but it definitely has a lot of substance to it beyond the "edgelord serial killer gorefest" surface-level appearance. It doesn't give you any moments of comfort in its overt negativity, but I think it manages to come out as something meaningful beyond just a nihilist "everything is awful and there's nothing you can do about it" message. It's definitely not for everyone, but if you're up for it, I'd really recommend giving it a shot.

[rohirric-hunter]

A phrase that basically revolutionized my online interactions is, "It's the Lord of the Rings to them."

Let me explain. The Lord of the Rings is very important to me. So important, in fact, that I've kind of lost my sense of humor about it. Satire that plays off of it is at best uninteresting and at worst offensive; congratulations, you noticed the low-hanging fruit and bad pun that is Bored of the Rings, a pair of smarmy comedians long since beat you to it and their sense of humor sucked too, let me block you real quick. A lot of jokes regarding it strike me as distasteful, when in reality they're just jokes made by someone who casually enjoyed it, instead of shaping their entire personality around it like I did. Often when I express these frustrations people mistake this as me perceiving these people to not like it; this is not strictly true. I understand that they like it, but am bothered that they don't like it enough, or in the right way. "Tolkienesque" is a terrible word, as are other words that are on the surface level based on ideas from Tolkien's work but actually describe very different concepts from the ones they claim, such as "treant."

I'm working on my behavior with regards to these perceptions but that's not the point of this post. The point of this post is that the root cause of these perceptions is an overwhelming obsession with LotR that ends up inserting rather absurd bias into the most innocuous of interactions surrounding it. Mind that by "the most innocuous" I do not mean all interactions. I mean the most incidental interactions. Ones that involve low-effort jokes, questions about the story's logic that indicate a surface-level reading of it, dumb parodies, and people borrowing concepts from it simply because it's a behemoth in fantasy that most people are at least passingly familiar with.

A number of years ago I encountered a series of posts on here wherein someone was ranting about Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (a book they had, by their own admission, not read). They tore apart the whole concept, swore up and down that it was the most disrespectful thing ever to disgrace Jane Austen, it was horrible, trashy, disrespectful that anyone would ever even think of turning such a great novel into a cheap horror story like that. (It's actually a genre comedy but I digress.)

I actually started to type up a response to them, that went something along the lines of: Hold up. You're taking this way too personally. You haven't even read it. Yes, it's overbearing and dumb in the first few chapters but let's be fair, so is Pride and Prejudice. It doesn't really pick up until after the Gardener's ball. You can't judge any book by the first few chapters. And the genre shift is actually really well done and emotionally satisfying as well as funny; the characters remain well characterized throughout and the different situation they find themselves in just shines a different spotlight on the themes of the story. As you get well into it you can really see how the author loved the original, and yeah it started an annoying fad of P&P genreshifts, but you can't blame it for that any more than you can blame the Hunger Games for modern YA. Sure, it has a few more dick jokes than I would like, but --"

And that's where I stopped, because suddenly it occurred to me that whoever this person was, they weren't going to care about any of those arguments. Nothing I could say would persuade them that it wasn't a big deal, actually, because to them it was. It was the Lord of the Rings to them. Pride and Prejudice, or perhaps Jane Austen's work in general, meant to them the same thing that the Lord of the Rings meant to me, and some idiot on the internet who read and enjoyed Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, of all things, was never ever going to convince them of anything at all with regards to those works. And, like, I disagree of course, but I get it. Where the thought is coming from. How can you improve on perfection? Why would you want to? The actual disconnect is whether or not any individual thinks of Pride and Prejudice (or the Lord of the Rings) as "perfection," but, like, why would you even want to get into that argument? Best case scenario, you're being annoying. Worst case scenario, you're actively trying to make someone hate something that they live and breathe.

So I deleted my response and moved on with my day and honestly I wasn't even mad about it. Sure, whoever this was could probably do with a little bit more self-awareness with regards to their own bias, but I certainly wasn't going to be the one to give them that. They'll come to it on their own. Or they won't. Either way, I can only make the situation worse by engaging. And since then I honestly try to live by that every time I see someone online taking something way too personally. I don't always succeed, but I try. It's stupid, it's bizarre, they're making mountains out of molehills, whatever, who cares. Take a deep breath. It's the Lord of the Rings to them. Let them have it, move on.

[panelshowsource]

i agree that the podcast really is so interesting — and imo it's a lot of plain gossip and tv criticism masked as "professional insight", which i live for lmao — but there are times she is really too much... she often mocks or eye-rolls things in a way that, again, doesn't feel constructive and comes off as very rude. mean girl energy. it also bothers me how she will talk at richard instead of engaging in a back and forth, and sometimes that turns into an episode in which she speaks 80% of the time. then again, as content cycles throughout the year, sometimes what's on/hot atm is just more in her wheelhouse than his, so we just have to wait for new taskmaster, new bbc comedies, new doctor who, whatever interests him, and then hopefully he'll have even more opportunities to shine... i do cherish when he gets a chance to speak lmao

but fr take a shot every time she says "a friend of mine who works at _______ told me blah blah"

i'll work on tracking that down!! it would be fun to watch more of them 😋

aren't they too much? i was just thinking how amazing would it be if they were a pair on pointless celebs ...........

you know how once you notice an actor then suddenly you start to see them everywhere? (especially on uk tv which is not as big a pool as you'd think it would be...) that was me and charlotte ritchie! it was like wow this girl is everywhere!

anyways, i'm not sure what her aims are atm... she's done quite a bit of comedy but am i the only one who thinks she would body a crime series? or something like broadchurch?

glad you got a chance to catch my response and watch some fun things! i was thinking a little more about what else to recommend, and i think if you enjoy the quirky nature of repertoire then you should check out huge davies, and if you enjoy the storytelling format like greg davies typically does then you should try out dara ó briain and russell howard (maybe the 2021 lubricant special to start) :) enjoy!!

hahaha this is funny... it's a good question 😅 there are a few reasons... he's good bantz! he doesn't take himself too seriously, laughs at himself, can be teased, isn't mean spirited. people really appreciate that. plus, he represents a lot of people who aren't otherwise on tv — not primetime bbc, at least. there starts to be an issue when he just...doesn't try, doesn't contribute. he's fallen asleep on like three different shows? didn't he just...not show up to the second-half of his bakeoff special? often he's got nothing to say? mo really carried the convos on his talk show, his teammates carried him on bfq, and so on. he just doesn't seem to have the interest or perhaps the stamina (orrr perhaps the respect) for long records 😅

anyways, he was being pushed for a little while, but that appears to have stopped. he's hasn't been around too much lately 🤔 (tho ngl idk what he's up to!)

yesss this is a great video and i'll link it here in case anyone wants to check it out! it reminded me that i really need to seek out his celeb hunted episodes hahaha

when the news came out he would be playing an 'egon spengler type' i was like yep lmao

he and ed mention quite often how many auditions they go to, especially james, for big movies like wonka and ghostbusters — no surprise to me imo! especially since it seems he's focused on films over tv 🤔

can't say i saw ghostbusters tho i'm sorry 😭

WELLLL now that it's out how have you been enjoying it? 😊🥰 where is your review, anon !!

susie dent gifs are high on my list, working on those for this week for sure!!! it's just...how to choose...she's just too pretty....

but i love ALL of your suggestions, duly noted 😍

—

PANEL SHOW WATCH LINKS / NON-PANEL SHOW WATCH LINKS FAQ / TAGS / ASK

[xaz-fr]

Afamiliars beware

since I’m banned I don’t really care anymore. Buckle up, its long and I’m not gonna put it under a read more because :))) these girls have broken my spirit for the last time.

If you’ve ever seen a community around called Afamiliar: don’t join it :)))

For those who don’t know what Afams is. Its where you can order a little drawing of a familiar from FR and it comes with unique colors and markings and can dress it up, breed, it and scavenge with it. Artists make them in a queue and fill orders as they come in.*

The admins are INCREDIBLY toxic. They can’t take any sort of criticism and they play favorites with who and how people get punished. You aren’t even allowed to say you’re unhappy about anything. Ever. Or if you do you get a strike. If you call out the team or admin’s hypocritical behavior you get a strike. If you stand up for yourself when the admins are clearly doing these things you get a strike.

I was part of Afamiliars for two years and was part of the team for a year and during that time I watched the entire thing fall apart. They really try to make it seem like they’re one big family but its just not true. The admins and owners Myndris and Sketchanie are both pretty toxic and talk about people, members of their community and their staff of artists and other team members, behind their back and make snide comments about them constantly. And while everyone else is held accountable to the rules neither of them or their friends are. Myndris talked so much shit about someone she had the entire team convinced they were a terrible person just because they didn’t like some art they got. The best part is when the admins agree with you about things you have problems with in Afamiliars in private over DMs and then publicly renounce everything you say. So hypocritical AND completely two faced. My absolute favorite :)

I was fired from my position as artist in July because another team member antagonized me into telling them to shut the fuck up because I wanted to be able to have open dialogues about the actual stuff that was bothering me. I ended up leaving for a week I was so furious at the state of things and why the admin team had such shitty conflict resolution. No negativity. Nothing in any way could be perceived as negative or you got a strike, so long as you weren’t a friend of the Admins. If you were they’d just tell you to stop. It was full on ‘no war in Ba Sing Sa’ in the Afams server and still is. Which is why I left and then for a week not a single member of staff reached out to me to see if I was okay. In fact after I left the community noticed and they started deleting messages asking what happened and where I was and where I’d gone and why I’d left.  Their most prolific artist had just LEFT and the only way they thought to respond was to delete every message that asked what happened. :)))) They also lied to the team about how many strikes I had and my ‘behavior issues’ to convince them to vote me out. Which is hilarious bc there are way worse actors in the team than me.

But saying anything that might be slightly confrontational got you a warning or a strike. So it was literally impossible to have any sort of adult conversations that might make people upset. Things that had been bothering me for seven months. Things the admins agreed with and refused to do anything about. They just let it sit. And stew. Agreeing with all the problems you have with X thing in private while publicly acting like it wasn’t a problem at all.

They also don’t listen to feedback like... at all. I’m not expecting anyone to be perfect and I know we’re all only human but they keep making the same comedy of errors again. And again. And again. To the point that now they’re two most popular artists are either gone, or about to be gone. They’d been given feedback from multiple people multiple times about how a trial mod on the team makes certain people uncomfortable and instead of removing that person they doubled down on them and did not remove them. And then when people went to other admins about the problem THAT WAS SHARED with the person in question. Admin specific information saying how people were uncomfortable with someone with that person. Probably with their name attached. When I brought THAT to an admin again nothing was done.

In the past few months I’ve just watched the team and the server completely fucking implode. The admins doubling down on zero negativity even as more and more people realize... something isn’t right. More people, people I don’t even talk to!, mention things that are a bit more aggressive than the admins would like. Someone even got muted on the server for telling a mod that an admin had dealt with the problem and the mod was then continuing to antagonize the original problem; which is against the rules. Someone got harassed over DMs by another member, asked where they could submit a report and posted proof of it, and they were the one given the strike and told that the admins do not moderate DMs. But they do sometimes feel the need to moderate and condone certain discord servers run by people they don’t like :) Which is a true thing.

In the past week the second most prolific artist left because one of the admins called the afams everyone makes ‘a miserable pile of pixels’ in reference to how much drama they get in the server and feedback form. This obviously upset some people and so said artist is taking a break for a month. I know she’s not a fool. She also sees what’s happening. She might go back but I doubt it and I hope she’s much less stressed out whatever she chooses to do. Then another artist stepped down the next day. Then just today a third artist stepped down, both of which were admins. So within a week 3 artists felt the need to step down to focus on themselves and mental health issues.

I’ve never attacked any of these people by the way except when they say shit about me that is categorically untrue. Or they show up trying to bully me. Which they also do. I was friends with all these people in the team while I was on the team until one day they just decided I wasn’t :) Not allowed to be friends with the admins anymore if you call them out on their hypocrisy.

And then today they finally banned me from the server. Which I wasn’t really a part of anyway and didn’t participate in much. And people have said worse and done worse to the team and admins but because I’m the designated server villain everything I do is worse.

This is why I was banned

from the latest admin artist that stepped down after giving their message they were stepping down. And I said ‘that seems pretty call-outy and overly negative to me’ which is... against all the rules on the server. But I’m the villain. So I’m not allowed to point it out.

The other admin said this to me pointing out that THIS ADMIN was breaking the site rules

Even tho I’ve legit gotten a strike just for saying ‘I don’t like this thing you’ve done. I’m not gonna talk about it but I want you to know I don’t like this decision you’ve made’.  And these rules also exist in the team only area and it says that  NO ONE is exempt. And I said as much. Because that’s bullshit.

At least unless you’re the owner’s wife. Than you can do whaaaatever you want :)

But yeah. Fuck Afamiliars. I’ve seen the writing on the wall for the past year. They’re gonna implode, or explode, and the admins are gonna be busy finger pointing at everyone but themselves for the problems. In Sketch’s stepping down message she said this exactly

I understand there have been many fuck ups on our end, and I apologize for those, but we have always strived to learn from those mistakes. And I'd like to think that we do a little better each time. 

Which is not what I’ve seen the past few months. Instead they’ve doubled down on Being Right at all costs, not listening to community feedback, lashing out at people who call them out on their bullshit and hypocrisy and I know they still talk shit about their community members in DMs with their stooges.

It’s been a BEAUTIFUL fireball to watch the past 3 months since I was fired.

*Lots of artists don’t actually fill their orders. They just let their queues fill up into huge ribbons on trello and then once a month maybe fill 1-4 orders. One artist has been around 10 months and made so little art their orders can’t even fill 4 pages on discord search. So you’re stuck waiting months, or sometimes YEARS, for a project you want to fill. A friend of mine just gave up on a project because they’d been waiting two and a half years. But the queues on all artists except for maybe... idk, 3-4 artists (including me at the time) were so slow you would be waiting and waiting and legitimately no progress was made. There used to be a rule of 1 afam a week to keep queues moving but sometime around the time Sketch decided to stop making afams that rule was quietly removed.

[patriciavetinari]

Tagged by @patchworkgargoyle to asnwer 15 questions!!

1. Are you named after anyone?

In the real world my name is in like top 10 most common ones in my first language which I hate vehemently for that fact alone. Also, maybe I was named after some relatives with that name but that was never an important part of my lore. I dislike the name anyway.

My tumblrsona is Patricia Vetinari, obviously named after the one and only dark flamingo authoritarian usurper, patrician Vetinari. Lady Margolotta was taken at the time I think but I figure it's for the best.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Day before yesterday. There's this OC who makes Ophelia from Hamlet read like a buddy comedy by contrast and that's in no way shaded by the fact that I'm the one writing the tragedy, I'm completely objective.

3. Do you have kids?

I do not and I don't think I'm fit to be a parent. I think about it sometimes though. I think of names and the names for their potential imaginary friends. And what would our favorite board game be and could I possibly sit down and invent it? Who knows.

4. What sports do you play/ have played?

Used to swim. Loved swimming in family time pools and wild waters like lakes. Had a nickname 'Bobber' as a child. Was strongly suggested (read: forced) into more sportish swimming by mother to lose weight. Was bullied out of the swimming club because of my weight. So you could say it all went

Swimmingly.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Only recreationally.

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Clothes. I can't be seriously into fashion, I'm fat and a commie, but I like people watching and seeing the life choices they wear on the outside, of the circumstances they are forced to wear. Either way, most make me sad.

7. What's your eye colour?

Blue. I fee ehh about it. Wanted brown as a teen, would prefer green now. But I can't be bothered with lenses and occasional compliments are nice.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Scary movie can have a happy ending if you're not a coward about it. Happy for whom? Which character are we suggested to identify it? What is a happy ending anyway? Can a happy ending be a scary movie? Absolutely.

That being said, I don't do horror well, and I do like when the characters I like get home, get fed, get railed, get fulfilled. If they had to go through a scary movie for that – that's the story, innit?

9. Any talents?

I am a jack of all trades kinda gal. Is loneliness a talent? I'm a maestro at that.

Also I cook well I guess. Some writing is looking good.

I might also be an absolute firecracker in bed but I'd have to get back to you on that after I acquire some empirical evidence, but my theory is strong.

10. Where were you born?

In a hospital in the midst of New Years celebrations in a country that was struggling to be born with me.

11. What are your hobbies?

I have ADHD. Give me a well presented topic and it will become my hobby for a few weeks.

I write silly things about silly people.

I read serious things about silly people.

I run my sims dynasty with an iron fist and a five year plan.

I read about perfumes sometimes. I even wear some and one of these days one of those dainty bottles will get me laid.

I try to learn to play chess. Consistency is key and my inner locksmith hanged himself when I was 13, I still hold memorials for the man and pay a generous pension to his unfortunate widow.

I recently drew a picture of a snake with a muffin.

I sometimes make collages and playlists for my unfortunate OCs.

I currently have 2 moods in music: Eartha Kitt or Vivaldi. No in-between. It's been going on for a month.

I do my best not to have a day without an orgasm (covid has put a slight damper on that but I'm not a quitter).

I duolingo, French. 707 day streak. I will be guillotined for this.

I steal cashew nuts from the office to feed to local birds.

I like vintage kitchens, I make the best hot chocolate, I talk to myself, I plan to turn my life around every other weekend, I go to that drama thing when I don't have a deadly virus ripping through me, I will pet any dog that will have me and any cat that's not fast enough. I've recently broke 400k point record on tetris. I post about all that and more (or less) on my silly little scripture of a blog. I sing badly outside of the shower when nobody's home. In the shower I check if I still can do the wrist lock behind back thing (I can, both sides). I ache for the world and my place in it.

I forgot what the question was, moving on.

12. Do you have any pets?

Beautiful twin monsters, little Deppy (short for Depression) and sweet mild Annie (short for Anxiety). Also a plushie called Fucked Up Evil Little Pudding, he's a sweetheart. My puter is called Bartholomew and we're civil with each other.

This is a very long version of 'I rent. I'm not allowed companionship and warmth of a live being by my side'.

13. How tall are you?

Statuesque 5'2'' in the weird foot measurements. 160 in normal ones.

14. Favourite subject in school?

Chemistry. I was spectacularly bad at it. But I actually tried, the teacher was a few percent less shit than others and sometimes I actually got the material and had wild fantasies of giving old Mendeleev a run for his money. Those dreams were crushed firmly by 11th grade.

15. Dream job?

Sheep farming. Also writing children's books in spare time.

I don't think I know 15 people on here well enough to tag, my affliction is also making me cough my heart out, so please do this if you feel like it and check in on me in a day or so if I had died or not. If you'll have a moment that is.

[is-this-even-relatable]

DANNY PHANTOM FIC IDEA

tldr: danny goes to space (by accident) with NASA. shenanigans ensue.

ALRIGHT GUYS so a long long time ago i found this tumblr post (that i no longer know where it went) and it really got my brain juices flowing. I believe I copied a bit of the post here:

a (one-shot?) Danny Phantom fic where it is SPACE!!! so Danny was fighting with Vlad I think and then he got tired and went to a NASA station and hid in a cupboard to sleep and then he woke up after they launched and were already in space: I want to write a fanfic maybe and here is my concept I was thinking about posting on tumblr——

I feel like this would work reaaaally well as a lighthearted fic, or crack, or comedy in general, or fluff because it’s just DANNY IN SPACE!!!!

I headcanon that Danny doesn’t really need to breathe, since he’s... you know, DEAD. So,,, he can totally go into space unprotected as Phantom! Space shenanigans!!! but obviously if he’s not wearing a suit, he can’t really communicate because duh, no air = no sound wave travel. So he wears a suit anyway, at least just so he can talk with control or whoever/whatever astronauts connect to with their suit radios. (don’t quote me, i know nothing about how astronauts do space stuffs)

SO LIKE IF THIS WAS MADE INTO A FIC WHERE DANNY JUST... BECAME PART OF NASA CREW FOR A BIT OR SOMETHING THAT WOULD BE FREAKING AMAZING AND I WOULD SMASH THAT KUDOS SO HARD

if that was a thing tho (wahhhhh all the ones I’ve ever encountered where he does NASA space stuff are one-shots TT~TT) then i feel like it would have to be set during summer or something to have it make sense why he can just up and go to space without everyone filing a missing person’s report or anything lol.

first off - the setting. (NO PHANTOM PLANET)

- 1: it’s gotta be summer because otherwise, he wouldn’t be able to disappear during school, since everyone would notice. but, this only gives us roughly 3 months for Astronaut!Ghost!Danny to have space shenanigans and fun NASA stuff... so i’m leaning towards number 2

- 2: OR this is set when he is a teensy bit older. he finished high school (managed to graduate with A’s and B’s somehow) and is now gonna take a gap year to finally relax after the stress of fighting ghosts while also having to attend high school is over. so now he can focus on doing the things he wants/likes, and can fight ghosts worry free without having Major Life Consequences. and maaaaaaybe he kinda decided to go around and spy on a bunch of NASA’s facilities in the meantime :D. i mean it’s no big deal, right? he’s just floating around invisibly and intangibly, not really bothering anyone. And it’s not like anyone’s gonna know, all those weird temperature fluctuations are just the air ducts acting up, come on guyyyys that’s not weird and suspicious at all. so Danny is just doing his thing and wow are those pieces of asteroids? dangg look at thattt that’s so cool! and then over ther— OH MY GOD THE ROCKET LAUNCH IS TODAY?!! so obviously he flies over as fast as he can to check out the inside and watch it all happen and ohmygod!!! this is so exciting!!! but then after a few hours of super high strung energy... *yawnnnn* he’s getting real tired now, all that excitement and adrenaline really lends itself to a much harder crash once he calmed down a bit... maybe he could just sit somewhere unobtrusive for a little, yeah. ooh this cupboard looks really nice, i’m sure it’ll be fine here.... *snore* and BOOM the story all spirals from there.

then, the reasons why no one is worried when he goes to space (they would all need to be micro-adjusted per other scenarios, but I think they can all fit with any of the others):

PARENTS

- 1: his parents are on some summer-long cross-country ghost expedition trip and left the kids at home (“do what you want, stay safe!! see you in september!”)

- 2: or maybe they sent danny to a summer retreat or something for several months so they don’t even question the disappearance because he is supposed to be gone the whole summer (this would also explain why Sam/Tucker/Jazz don’t freak out)

JAZZ

- 1: Jazz is in/at college (or otherwise just a not staying at the house for the summer for some other reason, maybe also doing a summer-long boarding camp thing) and thus not worrying about Danny too much (we all know she would 100% be trying to check up on him and make sure he’s ok)

- 2: Jazz is home for the summer, but since she already knows about Danny’s Spoopy Stuff TM, Danny could just figure out a way to tell her he’s in space for a while somehow, or she just wouldn’t be too alarmed since she knows he can take care of himself now OR he told her he wanted to go on a trip like mom and dad are doing except his is to explore fun places like the Kennedy Space Station over the summer, so that’s what he would be doing (“i’ll check in every once in a while, just so you know I’m still dead and everything.” *Jazz pinched the bridge of her nose and tries not to sigh too loudly* “...please try not to get yourself hurt, Danny. You’re not a cat, no matter how much Tucker says the purring makes you one—“ “Hey!” “—so you don’t have 9 lives. At least remember to protect the half-one you have left.” *Danny pouts for a second, but then relents and sighs* “Okay okay, i’ll be EXTRA careful spying on NASA. Scout’s honor.” “you’re not a boy-scout.” “I CAN DREAM, JAZZ”)

VLAD

- 1: there might be some Vlad stuff too (or at least vlad’s perspective because that would be funny to slip in occasionally, if Vlad just couldn’t for the life of him find Danny and just spends the whole summer getting increasingly frustrated and then really worried because where is Daniel??? how did he disappear with no trace??? and then it escalates to where he eventually takes down the whole GIW because he thinks they killed/got rid of Daniel, the only one who could truly understand him they’re gonna p a y).

So it starts like this: Vlad was all hyped up to have this whole summer with no one in the way to try to get Daniel over to his side, but then the brat up and disappears on him before he can make any big moves and now he’s gotta hunt down the pesky little badger, but for some reason his ecto-signature isn’t showing up anywhere, hmm perhaps he is hiding in the ghost zone? or in a different country? and voila he starts searching.

- 2: or, he went after Maddie and Jack on their road trip instead of focusing on Daniel over the summer. Yeah idk, it lacks a bit of oomph, but after thinking about that first scenario so much I just can’t think of anything better.

SAM AND TUCKER

- 1: if this is the older!Danny setting from the top, then they would all be doing different things. Danny would be taking a gap year, Tucker would probably go straight into college (give it up, Tucker is a tech genius and would straight up get into MIT or some ivy league bullshit) and probably get an internship to some big tech company too. and then I feel like Sam might go to college right away to move out from her parents’ house, or she would go to California or something to do activist stuff. let her find her people guys.

- 2: if this is the summer setting, then I feel like they still might be doing different things, similar to how the college scenario worked out. Tucker = tech internship, or starts working with Technus (Danny has mostly friendly relations in this fic, cuz you know… he’s the ghost king and all) to learn tech stuff and whatnot. Sam = gone to go activist/protest, or her parents are taking her on a mandatory trip to do fancy shit she hates. (sorry sam, it’s just the hand you were dealt with)

either way, all 3 of Danny’s closest people, Team Phantom (Jazz, Sam, & Tuck), would notice after not too long that Danny was no longer checking in with them. Naturally, Sam and Tucker ask Jazz about it, since if anyone knew where he was, it would be Jazz, and she says that Danny was exploring NASA. so they look up whatzit goin on and lo and behold, they find out that there was a rocket launch recently. (“Wait, hang on...” Tucker mutters. “Guys, I think I found something.” he calls over to Sam and Jazz, who were sitting on the other side of the room, bouncing ideas back and forth of where Danny could be. They stop taking and walk over to where Tucker is typing away at the computer. “What is it?” Sam asks. “Ok so the last time any of us heard from Danny was two weeks ago, right?” “Yes, that was when he was telling me about the new rovers that are being built for the Mars explorations.” -Jazz “Yeah, so I looked up anything related to NASA that happened since then and... you guys aren’t gonna believe it.” Sam quirked an eyebrow at him. “Believe what?” Tucker took a breath, then blurted it all out in one go. “TherewasarocketlaunchandIthinkDannytotallystowedinsideorsomething.” Sam and Jazz just blinked at him for a couple of seconds before their brains caught up. “I’m sorry, <em>come again</em>? I think you just said Danny hitched a ride up into space?” Jazz squeaked. Sam groaned and looked up at the ceiling, covering her face with her hands. “Ughh, of course he would.” Jazz looked back at him. “Tucker, you’re sure?” “Well,” he fidgeted, “it makes the most sense, and there aren’t really any other big events that happened up until now. Him being in space would explain why he wouldn’t be able to contact us, and it’s much more likely that he jumped at the chance to go to freaking SPACE (come on, this is Danny we’re talking about) than say, a natural portal swallowed him up into another dimension.”

aaaaaaaaaaaaand that’s my idea. Please if anybody wants to adopt it feel free to message me! I might also write something for this in the future but hey… who knows if i’m ever really gonna get to that? so it’s up for grabs!!

[gunsli-01]

I was tagged at @qrevo in this tag game. Thanks for the tag! Anyone else who wants to do it can. I am gonna tag a few people to pay it forward but no one has to do it. @apatchworkstar, @peccadrome, @givemeanaccountalready, @genderqueer-miharu, @doctorbunny, @siverfanweedo.

1. Are you named after anyone?

Yeah my middle name is my grandma's first name and the first letter of my first name refers back to my father. It's the same with his last three kids.

2. When was the last time you cried?

This week and I will cry again. It's allergy season and on top of that I have spring seasonal affective disorder. So, that's here until like summer.

3. Do you have kids?

Nope and right now I don't have any plans to.

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

I've never played a sport. I was told that I was in ballet when I was way younger. Because my mom signed me and my sister up for it but I don't really remember it. if we're speaking casually I played all the ones you'd find in a regular american high school gym class. Basketball, dodgeball, jumprope etc.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Yes, but it's very extragerated instead of catty which people say takes the bite away from it. I tend to be sarcastic for fun unless really ticked off.

6. What's the first thing you notice about someone?

Their facial features be it their hair eyes or something else.

7. Eye color?

Brown.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

I'm a fan of scary movies mostly psychological horror or horror comedies.

9. Any talents?

Writing. Though people also say I'm a good listener and give good advice to the point I've been getting prompted into going back to college for psychology. The thing my family did not want me to do when I did want to do it~

10. Where were you born?

The US state of Michigan. Been here my whole life. It's pretty decent and the people tend to be personable and interesting in various ways. However, it can be very stereotypically American out here. My sister came into town with her bf who'd never been to the midwest and he was stunned at how talkative the everyday person is here. It was funny to hear that sort of culture shock actually exists. Plus when I visited London it wasn't much different in atmosphere. So, I was pretty comfortable. The people did keep to themselves more though.

11. Hobbies?

I'm slowly getting back into enjoying writing original stuff. I've been doing it since I was ten. My first longest hobby is music appreciation if that counts which i've been doing since earlier than that. I tend to like listening to all sorts of music there's this good graphic novel on it I saw at the library a while back too.

Oh and i like video games too. I tend to play roguelikes and rhythm games a lot.

12. Any pets?

I have two cats. Angel who is going on fourteen and Luco who I adopted last year and is going on two.

13. Height?

I'm around five feet and four inches. Though I haven't gotten it measssure in a while.

14. Favorite school subject?

Science mostly the parts focusing on biology and medicine. I really enjoyed it in high school and when I was in college.

15. Dream job?

My dream job and life plan was to be a school psychologist and a writer under a pseudonym. However, writers have become a sort of influencer these days and I literally have zero interest in that sort of attention.

The school psychiatrist thing was burst by the college I was going to literally being too expensive for me. Made funnier by the fact I was going to a community one that mysteriously lost my grant mid semester. Putting me in a pay us this pile of money you don't have or leave situation. I had all A's at the time. Ha, ha... So, I'm at a I don't even want to bother anymore point honestly. Also schools are unsurprisingly dangerous in the states and pay staff very little. So it's more risk than reward.

[writinandcrying]

I'd like a Match Up if you wanna! .o. Preferably for Rise but I'm familiar with every TMNT verse starting at '03 and forward if u thought of any others.

I'm just a gay/demisexual (a guy match plz!) demiguy (he/they) who's kinda short(?) I'm 5'5" at most but I haven't checked in a few years ngl. Appearance wise I shift between pastel or alt stuff is all.

I'm an ENTP and 9w1! I have a lot of trouble properly expressing or understanding emotions due to my Autism but I try to battle that by being blunt and asking questions! I'm also constantly stuck battling between people pleasing and my anger issues that make me wanna snap. To kinda combat that my anger is now p much pointed at myself so I don't hurt anyone or their feelings. But I'm trying to better myself with the "Do No Harm but Take No Shit" mindset. I generally make myself do my usual "im the funny friend" routine, but that lead to a lot of ppl assuming I'm stupid, so I'm trying to find a balance between that and showing other sides of myself :') I show my love through Physical Touch and Acts of Service! And I think I respond well to all Love Languages? Except I can be bad at accepting gifts bc of a dumb inner voice going "Oh so u manipulated them I to giving u smth" ...oop. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Ahh I really like Animation, Horror, and Comedy shows/movies, especially analyzing them. I kind of want kids in the future? I'd be more willing if I trusted my partner with my Lows (hopefully they trust me with theirs too ofc) or if I could skip the baby part tbh. I really enjoy baking, reading, and video games, but I like physical activities when there's a sort of clear goal? Like playing Volleyball or Soccer, but not just a general run or jog. But I'd love to travel the world in moderation too, I just want to make sure there's always a great place to come back to.

In my platonic and romantic relationships I can be frustrating bc I tend to bottle stuff up so I don't bother anyone. If I felt comfy enough and knew I didn't have to worry about my Big Fear(tm) of Abandonment then I would slowly get better at talking about things. I'm also really forgetful when it comes to my own things, like forgetting to eat, drink, or sleep or if there was anything I needed/wanted to do.. I think the only pet peeves I have is if I feel Not Heard or listened to? Or just Disregarded? I've been told with how I analyze situations but focus on emotions help others when they're in their worst moments? Like helping calm my little brother down from when angry or helping my mom or friends out of their depressive moments.

Thank you for your time! <3

hi there! sure thing <3 ill go towards rottmnt cuz it has literally consumed 70% of my brain lately lmao i match you with...

Mikey!

Honestly i can see both of you helping each other out into maturing and personal growth, Mikey knows he's clever and also still learning along the way, don't even consider yourself a bother into asking him questions cuz he loves to answer them, and if he doesn't know something, he can just asks his brothers!

Dr. Feelings make frequent visits in your hangouts, he constantly reminds you to unwind and has relaxing exercises if he notices you are bottling too much, and if someone ever tries to take advantage of your "people pleasing taste" Doctor Delicate Touch will also show up to yell tell the person to bug off

he understands the feeling of only being seen in "one light"- all mikey's (i mean in any version) suffer from youngest sibling syndrome - struggling with not being taken seriously, so he does gives you extra attention in everything you say, do, your feelings, thoughts, and if you mean business, so does he.

Honestly for Rottmnt Mikey i think he enjoys all love languages as well lmao, his top 3 are def words of affirmation, physical touch and quality time, he loves gifting you stuff as well, but if you ever mention those "oh i manipulated them into giving me these" thoughts he will fight /argue with you, like, every-time. He doesn't really get it, he tries to be as gentle as possible with your feelings, but on this topic things might escalate, he really likes you and wants to show it as well!

he ADORES that you like animation and horror too!! i headcanon that later on Mikey becomes a fan of horror/thriller movies and video games, everyone @ the lair gets scared to watch/play with him so he's more than thrilled to play and hangout with you, Mikey never really thought much about volley or soccer, but after meeting you he gets so addicted to it, even start to watch volleyball matches (specially woman league cuz they are the best mwah mwah chef kiss)

Mikey knows its hard for you to open up, so when you finally feel comfortable to, all eyes and ears on you, you are the main priority at the moment. He begins to notice you sometimes go non-verbal lke his brother Donnie (Canonically diagnosed with autism) so he knows how what to do to make you feel better or more comfortable depending on the situation

overall: your relationship is compassionate, full with hugs, kisses, snuggles (he loves to shower you with affection fr fr) and loads of fun dates! lucky you!

hope you liked it! match ups are closed for now

[hakureiryuu]

okay, I'm calm now, ready to rewatch with the intention of understanding, and not through the lens of 3 years of excessive fanfiction.

(and also, apparently, not through the lens of the book? idk man.)

episode 1, lez go!

crowley using that crank thingie to make stars is delightful, gives that bit at the end of s1 so much more impact and puts crowley's tool of choice on par with aziraphale's flaming sword.

thinkin bout the way the intros play out the entire series basically so I was waiting for aziraphale's sprite to fly away or something on 2nd watch. instead they're climbing up this huge purgatory-esque mountain with all of humanity behind them. lends some credence to the idea that the 3 seasons parallel the 3 acts of the divine comedy. (edit: actually the end of the s1 intro has them all jumping into the pits of the inferno so yeah that completely checks out.)

I didn't notice maggie spelled urgency wrong lmao

"I'm very good at forgiveness" bitch the fuck you are! ofc I would not be the least but surprised if heaven culture completely skewed his definition of the word.

crowley's tattoo is lower down on his face and it bothers me.

"why can't they just deliver the mail to your car" first hint that he's living in his damn car, which I didn't figure out until like ep3 XD

john hamm is delightful and I so deeply regret all the fics where gabriel is explicitly rapey. now he's a himbo of legendary proportions and I love him.

fly buzzing lol

"now that I'm not reporting to heaven" gdi he feels a lack without a system to report to even if that system was shit. he misses the scraps of approval heaven used to give him and doesn't know how to fill that void.

aziraphale practicing acknowledging his relationship with crowley 🥰

also I was so pleased when they tossed in that aziraphale knows about shax, they are (were 😭) doing so well.

I'm dying, their argument over gabriel is an exact parallel to their argument over going back to heaven. aziraphale wants to fix the problem. crowley wants to run from the problem. help me.

all the archangels dress in the cool spectrum of whites but muriel is warm and it stands out rather starkly.

s1 beelzebub had such an interesting accent and manner of speaking that this new one lacks. too feminine, maybe? not that enbys owe anyone androgyny I guess. idk I'm bad at change, ignore me.

trying to read into bee's behavior knowing what's really going on is so bizarre XD

that whole book of life thing never actually comes to fruition this season and I am scared.

I had zero investment in the secondary ship but listing off all the parallels makes it so interesting that they flip it all on its head by the end about who is paralleling who.

1793 was the french revolution, 1941 was the blitz. what the hell happened in 1650??

d'you think david tennent made up the I was wrong dance in the spot? 😂

"no alarm bells ringing in heaven" -cut to alarm bells ringing in heaven- welp

also I like the gestures both of them used in keeping with the rules. snapping is great and all but I like variety sometimes 😌

part 2

[penntoxide]

Oversharing on the Internet

I was tagged by @heytheredeann (the bitch~)

ONE: Are you named after anyone?

Nope, I was originally going to be named Jasmine or September but dad came out of left field with Heather. Still don't know where it came from

TWO: When was the last time you cried?

Like legit sob session or a few tears over a sad video? Cause if it's the first it's been awhile, but I cry a bit at sad things pretty often

THREE: Do you have kids?

Not a chance

FOUR: Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Every damn day

FIVE: What sports have you played/do you play?

I've never been into sports, I've tried volleyball for a few years and hated every second

SIX: What's the first thing you notice about people?

Their clothes and then their hair, I don't look at faces often

SEVEN: What's your eye colour?

Hazel

EIGHT: Scary movies or happy endings?

Scary movies, I don't watch many (if any) romantic or comedy movies so the happy endings have to come from action movies

NINE: Any special talents?

I used to draw but not anymore

TEN: Where were you born?

Sadly Ohio

ELEVEN: What are your hobbies?

I read more than anything, if I'm on my phone I'm usually reading

TWELVE: Do you have any pets?

I have three cats, they are awful children and I love them

THIRTEEN: How tall are you?

5ft, I think that's about 152cm?

FOURTEEN: Favourite subject in school?

Art, I didn't have to try and my teacher let me do whatever as long as I didn't bother anyone

FIFTEEN: Dream job

Tbh? I don't know, I don't think I have a dream job. Just a ream life where I'm comfortable

.

Tagging: @racheld93, @hell-on-training-wheels, and anyone else curious to try

[unkalaki]

TW: SUICIDE, SELFHARM AND 9THER SIMILAR THINGS APLENTY. Graphic depictions included. Please move away if you are affected by this thankyou.

In my opinion one of the weirdest experiences that a person can go through is to come to a point where they are fully of the belief that their life, in its totality, is not worth further experience and that rather than pay the continuing subscription to existence they are better off by just ending this subscription by basically destroying all internet access and electronics in their possession. Im sure that despite the extreme torture that the metaphor went through the idea behind it has been communicated. Now that isnt really the weird part though it is fascinating in its own fucked up way. The weird part is to come to that conclusion and then rather than just thinking about it you take active steps to counter the inertia of life and try to stop it.

Even thats not the weird part.

The weird part is taking that final step, laying down and for the first time in a long time feeling some modicum of peace. Of knowing that finally you wont be tired anymore. Of just breathing out a long awaited sight of contentment.

The weird part is waking up afterwards.

That part sucks.

You quit. You handed in your resignation letter. You admitted defeat. You said enough is enough.

Sayonara.

Farewell

Adieu

And the response you got was :

Naaah

Now imagine that happening 4 more times.

The sheet stupidity of it is just mind boggling.

You took a buttload of sleeping pills. You wake up in the hospital.

You ate an entire bottle of rat poison. It didnt affect you because you live in a third world cpuntry and the rat poison is cheap shit that doesn't really work.

You pumped air directly jnto your veins. A few hours of unconsciousness, a deep pain in your chest and you are awake.

You take blood thinners aplenty and just put a syringe in your arm waiting to bleed out. You loose consciousness the syring falls out and the wound closes up.

You try to cut your veins up with a knife. It isnt sharp enough

Its a bad comedy. Made infinitely more funny by the fact that after the first one no one even notices. You fall unconcious and wake up in your bedroom. You curse your own incompetence and get around to cleaning up. You of course dont want to bother anyone with the mess so you make everything spotless. Put some gauze on the wound and go sleep off the headache or whatever.

And then after no.5 you just give up.

Like most other things you are incompetent at this too. Who could've guessed?

Then you spend the next few years of your life just aimlessly wandering through life. One step in front of the next. Not aiming for anything. Not really doing anything. Going to sleep at night wishing to anyone who listens that perhaps this time you wont wake up. Then opening your eyes every morning and just loosing even more of the hope that you didnt even know you still had.

Its pretty exhausting.

And now you are at a point in life where people actually expect things frim you and you cant give it to them. You never planned for this. You never expected to be here at this time. All that you want is release.

You are soo tired. So so tired. Every morning you have to struggle with yourself to be able to just lift yourself up. Your body aches everywhere but you just cant be bothered by it. Everything is just grey monotones. You dont remember what happened over the last year or so. You dont know how time works anymore. You blink and a week has passed. A week in which you would struggle to find a single point at which you could have said to be alive. Just a mindless automaton doing chores and acting normal. As normal as he can though. A week passes in a blink and now its the opposite. You blink and it lasts for an eternity. Each tick of the clock clings to you. Refusing to let go. Drags you down to it. Makes you aware of the banality of every single moment. Stretches it out until it is all that has been and all that will always be while being nothing at al.

Tick

Tock

Tick

Tock

You are going mad arent you?

You wanted to die and now you are dead. In all the ways that mattered but in none of the ways you wanted. A living corpse.

Dead but still tired

Dead yet still afraid

Dead but bound by time

Dead but alive in the cruelest way possible.

I just wanted an end. Is that too much to ask?

Even the fact that you are writing this is a sign of desperation. Shouting it into the void in the faintest of hopes that maybe others can find some semblance of anything, comedy, appreciation, similarity, fucking anything, from this.

Sorry for wasting your time. He is dead. He never was much use to anyone al8ve and his bloated corpse is no different. Its just a bit more long winded.

[stsebastiens]

moving forward: a primer for unlearning (and re-learning) your faith

this resource list is based on the last seven years of my life and the media that helped me, personally, reckon with the christian evangelical upbringing that I had. ofc our life experiences are all going to be vastly different, so the tools that helped me may not help you, but i hope this provides at least a place to start. 

NONFICTION

Amazing Grace: A Vocabulary of Faith – Kathleen Norris 

“It seems clear, from reading the daily news if nothing else, that there will always be some in this world who want their holy wars, who will discriminate, vilify, and even kill in the name of God. They have narrowed down the concept of neighbor to include only those like themselves, in terms of creed, caste, race, sex, or sexual orientation. But there is also much evidence that there are many who know that a neighbor might be anyone at all, and are willing to act on that assumption.” 

The Genesis Trilogy (And It Was Good, A Stone for a Pillow, Sold Into Egypt) – Madeline L’Engle

“We can recognize the holy good even while we are achingly, fearfully aware of all that has been done to it through greed and lust for power and blind stupidity. We forget the original good of all creation because of our own destructiveness. The ugly fact that evil can be willed for people by other people, and that the evil comes to pass, does not take away our capacity to will good. There may be many spirits abroad other than the Holy Spirit…but they do not make the Holy Spirit less holy. Our paradoxes and contradictions expand; our openness to God’s revelations to us must also be capable of expansion. Our religion must always be subject to change without notice––our religion, not our faith, but the patterns in which we understand and express our faith.”

The Lost Art of Scripture – Karen Armstrong

“In many ways, we seem to be losing the art of scripture in the modern world. Instead of reading it to achieve transformation, we use it to confirm our own views––either that our religion is right and that of our enemies wrong, or, in the case of sceptics, that religion is unworthy of serious consideration…because its creation myths do not concur with recent scientific discoveries, militant atheists have condemned the Bible as a pack of lies, while Christian funadmentalists have developed a “creation science” claiming that the book of Genesis is scientifically sound in every detail.”

Telling the Truth: The Gospel as Tragedy, Comedy, and Fairy Tale – Frederick Buechner

“For reasons of his own God hides himself from us, but however you account for it, he is often more conspicuous by his absence than by his presence, and his absence is much of what we labor under and are heavy-laden by. Just as sacramental theology speaks of a doctrine of the Real Presence, maybe it should speak also of a doctrine of the Real Absence because absence can be sacramental, too, a door left open, a chamber of the heart kept ready and waiting.”

American Harvest – Marie Mutsuki Mockett

“A writer friend once said to me than in intimacy with another person we build a world. When we lose that person––when they leave us––we lose that beautiful world. This is why breakups can be so devastating and why the death of a beloved is so shattering. It must be like this for someone raised to believe that the house in which they live––the house of God––is stable, only to start to see it as only a mirage. A simulator. How terrifying it is to doubt, to risk losing the entire world.” 

FICTION

Gilead –  Marylinne Robinson

“So my advice is this––don’t look for proofs. Don’t bother with them at all. They are never sufficient to the question, and they’re always a little impertinent, I think, because they claim for God a place within our conceptual grasp…I’m not saying never doubt or question. The Lord gave you a mind so that you would make honest use of it. I’m saying you must be sure that the doubts and questions are your own, not, so to speak, the mustache and walking stick that happen to be the fashion of any particular moment.”

Transcendent Kingdom – Yaa Gyasi

“At times, my life now feels so at odds with the religious teaching of my childhood that I wonder what the little girl I once was would think of the woman I’ve become…but the truth is I haven’t much changed. I still have so many of the same questions, like ‘Do we have control over our thoughts?’, but I am looking for a different way to answer them. I am looking for new names for old feelings. My soul is still my soul, even if I rarely call it that.” 

POETRY

Mary Oliver - Whistling Swans - Franz Marc’s Blue Horses - Drifting - The World I Live In

Christian Wiman – All My Friends are Finding New Beliefs 

PODCASTS

Where Do We Go From Here - S3 Ep. 97, “The Quest for Desire” - S3 Ep. 64  “Biblical Womanhood Was Always Cultural Womanhood” - S2 Ep. 23, “Why We Need Touch” - S2 Ep. 22  “I wasn’t Straight, but I Also Wasn’t Gay” - S2 Ep. 17  “Sex is for Wives, Too” 

The Church Politics Podcast - “Christendom and the Politics of Christian Self-Interest” - “The Black Panthers, Grace, and the Aesthetic of Justice”

The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill

[beikonsims]

15 questions for 15 mutuals

Tagged by @curiousb

1. are you named after anyone?

After a popular artist from the city I was born in and a stupid song my parents used to torture me with for years.

2. when was the last time you cried?

Few months ago was the last time I cried for real. When I lost my father back in January. Other than that I sometimes get a little teary eyed while watching/listening to sentimental stuff, but I don't think that counts as a proper cry.

3. do you have kids?

Hell no. Never intend to have.

4. do you use sarcasm a lot?

I do. Mostly with people I'm close with, when I know they will understand it and not get offended. But also it comes naturally in online arguments, because I'm petty like that.

5. what sports do you play/have you played?

I'm not rly sporty, never have been. The only sport I enjoyed was casual badminton, but also haven't done that in years.

6. what’s the first thing you notice about other people?

I honestly don't know? I tend to look at people's faces to try and "read" them. I feel like I can genuinely figure out a person by looking at their expressions (which doesn't really seem like a hot take).

7. scary movies or happy endings?

I'd say happy endings, but not in the sappy generic way. I like when there's a little bit of everything for a good balance - some angst, drama, comedy, light-hearted happy stuff etc. I don't tend to watch scary movies, because they rely too much on blood and gore these days and it's not exactly good for my intrusive thoughts.

8. any special talents?

Not that I'm really aware of? People I know tell me I'm good at coming up with stories and writing OCs, but I mostly keep that in private. Don't share much of my stuff in public outside of the light-hearted Sims posting here.

I used be good at drawing, I guess? Before I neglected it due to mental health issues for years and now I just don't really feel like picking it up again to practice.

9. where were you born?

In a little hellhole called Poland, but we don't talk about that.

10. what are your hobbies?

Mostly video games. Writing characters and stories with my close friends. Generic stuff like listening to music and watching anime from time to time. I also read a lot when I have a "reading phase", especially horror genre (ironically) and novels based on the video games I like.

11. do you have any pets?

Yep. A 9 y/o cat and a 5 y/o guinea pig.

12. how tall are you?

1,70m

13. fave subject in school?

I used to like language, art and IT classes. Never had the brain for science or memory for dates and numbers.

14. dream job?

One that pays decent and doesn't require me to interact with customers. I feel too old to think about "dream jobs" anymore and all the ones I used to have when I was younger were eventually verified by life and my anxiety.

15. eye colour?

Grayish green. They always felt more grey to me, but I was told there's a green tint to them.

I know I should tag mutuals here, but I don't exactly interact much with people here. Not because I don't like you, but because I'm a generally anxious creature and don't like to bother people with stuff like that. If you're reading this and you follow my simblr, you're welcome to do it. Feel tagged.