#from 2019 i believe...... still luv this one a lot :'3

[dizzyplush]

commission for a friend on discord! 🌈💖

[btsandvmin]

A Vmin throwback - 2019 (Part 1)

3 years I have been making this post now, and every year people keep saying Vmin is dead, less close or even fake. I usually say: Do you have eyes? 

Vmin surely proved you wrong this time and I think at this point their bond is hard to deny. This post has been really difficult to make, both because of the amount of moments and also because it’s more difficult to find good gifs for everything and I can’t include twitter videos in this type of post. Just know there was a lot of moments I had to skip.

2019 was the year of the pig, aka. the year of everyone born 1995. So in this year of Vmin of course they have given us plenty of moments to gush about. In fact despite the break we have gotten spoiled with a lot of really great Vmin moments. So without much further ado let’s get this started!

There is a lot more Vmin under the cut. You have been warned.

I will cheat a little and start with Taehyung’s birthday bomb, which wasn’t released until 2019. Vmin were very cute in it.

The first time I saw this I couldn’t believe it. Who looks at someone like that while they are feeding them?

The year started of with a lot of good Vmin selcas, but even though we might not have gotten many tweets in total what we did get was still great!

And don’t you all dare forget that Jimin posted this the day after Valentines!

Then admittedly we had nothing in terms of selcas for almost the rest of the year, but thankfully Jimin came through and tweeted for Taehyung’s birthday.

Something big they did this year was of course making songs! Jimin released Promise right at the end of 2018 and Tae (the best photographer) provided the cover photos.

One month later Tae released Scenery. But not without Jimin accidentally spoiling it first.

He was very apologetic about it.

They both supported each other a lot and gave us a lot of cute moments in relations to their songs.

Jimin even sang Scenery and basically just promoted and loved it a lot. But even that was nothing compared to what was to come... I am talking about Winter Bear of course, which Jimin loves so much and has promoted more than anything ever before.

He did three vlives in a row where he gushed about the song and promoted it, and even told us stories about him and Taehyung. 

He also mentioned how he wanted to keep the song and his friend (Taehyung) to himself. The name of the first Vlive was even Say hello to me, a line from the song. Basically Jimin is both supportive and possessive in regards to Taehyung.

He sang it constantly and told us he listened to it every night falling asleep to it and even dreaming about it. 

True love and support right there! He also gifted Tae the two bears he used on the cover.

Movin on let’s look at the Run episodes of this year, because as usual they provided us with tons of Vmin moments.

It’s actually kind of overwhelming so I had to skip a lot because right off the bat they just...

First Run episode of the year and we already were in for a great start! And who knew we would get to see Vmin hold hands for minutes? I mean, Vmin seems to just have glued their hands together this year.

Stick to my side might as well be the Vmin slogan of the year. :P

And Run just kept on giving…

Tae wants Jimin to be sexy. But not too sexy….

Of course they also took selcas we will never get to see…

And some we did get to see…

The Canada episodes truly blessed us.

We even got to see Vmin share a bed for the first (but not the last) time, even if I don’t have a pic included.

They don’t even have to be on the same team...

Or even win… They still somehow congratulate each other.

Wo do love Vmin on the same team though.

They have both just seemed really happy and carefree this year!

I don’t even know how many times Jimin has said I love you to Taehyung this year… But it’s a lot.

Actually we have seen Jimin trust Tae a little too much.

But let’s move on, because we have much more to go through. This year we actually got some really good vlive moment from Vmin (besides the ones for Winter Bear I mean.). It started with the Grammy vlive.

We had Vmin doing, something… In the Hobi birthday Vlive.

And not soon after we got the infamous Rkive Vlive. Showing us some of the weirdest Vmin behaviours yet.

The clinginess is a lot… I see why they might avoid Vlives alone, because they can’t even behave when they are with someone.

I already mentioned the Winter Bear vlives.

The year also ended well with some nice Vmin from Jin’s Bday Vlive.

We of course also had a comeback with Boy with Luv that Taehyung made sure to add some Vmin to right away.

And Vmin really made sure to make this their song. Love is nothing stronger...

We also can’t forget the Lights MV.

And then for the tour. Obviously we got a ton of Vmin moments.

Special shoutout to Hong Kong.

I mean tours are always good, but the amounts of hugs and happy Vmin.

Tae holding Jimin’s hand to comfort him in Brazil when Jimin was sick and couldn’t sing well.

We also got Tae comforting Jimin in London.

And with this sweet moment, that I was lucky enough to see live, let’s end this post. It’s too long anyways, and will likely crash for many of you. As you may know I started this post in late 2019 but had so much trouble making it as Tumblr didn’t want to save my changes. I tried to remake it several times and at some point just gave up.

Then, I realized that the post is too long anyway and I might as well just post what I had if it managed to save the end part. Meaning this text here. So basically all of this post except this ending part was written and put together years ago. I know it says part 1, but I am not sure there will be a part 2 considering the problem with long posts. Just know 2019 was a great year for Vmin (as every year is), and that I didn’t even get to include everything (note the absence of Bon Voyage for example).  But finally it is done! I am so glad it saved this part and the tags. T_T

Thank you for reading, liking and reblogging (if tumblr allows it), and sorry for the delay.  💜

[taekooktimeline]

Could you please summarize the different stages they went through with the time frames including how they felt about each other at the time and what they’d told each other, and what the nature of their relationship was if you don’t mind?? (and also like big steps/milestones in their relationship like confessions, first kiss, first whatever). It just all seems kinda... muddled (which obviously it’s complicated by nature but if you could please help out i’d really appreciate it!! ty💗)

Sara & Kayla give different recaps. Sara will just do a minimal scheme while Kayla includes events. This is quite lengthy. Warning: It’s all opinion!

Sara:

— 2011-2013: Just (best) friends. Slow buildup of crushes.

— 2014: Just Friends. Boundary pushing coming specially from Tae.

— 2015: Still just friends, but they are basically “courting” each other and recognize they have a mutual attraction or - at the very least - curiosity. Possible kiss. There are moments of high tension.

—- 2016: They start an affair around May. Tae “breaks up” with Jk in August due to the unfavorable circumstances (they weren’t actual boyfriends). Jk seems upset but there is no direct confrontation. They are on good terms (meaning they don’t stop being friends). They start to mess around again during BS&T promotions until the end of Nov, which is when they stop again. BH starts cutting them out of content.

—- 2017: Tae regrets it & makes efforts to win Jk back (romantically). They both had started to hang out with friends outside of BTS which caused additional friction. Tae confesses to Jk at the start of March which is probably the first time there was an actual love confession between them. They start a serious relationship.

— 2018: Jk falls into a slump at the very beginning of the year (probs having to do with fame, identity, restrictions, etc) which causes Tae to suffer as well. (The group as a whole was also having a hard time but we are focusing on TK). This can be considered a crisis but they resolved it and came out stronger out of it, both as individuals and as a couple. As a group too !

— 2019: closeting intensifies even more but funnily enough they drop big lgbtq hints. They mature as a couple. By the end of the year(?) they start living in different apartments when they aren’t promoting which causes them to spend less time together.

— 2020: they keep being stable as a couple. Tae goes through some struggles but they are ok. Closeting reaches its peak, their first contract expires & they stage a talk to be able to change the narrative & interact more freely in front of cameras while still being closeted. (Disclaimer: I personally don’t think they have had any type of official engagement, just that they wear couple rings to show commitment like koreans typically do).

————————-

Kayla: reminder that this is entirely opinion on the timeline of their relationship. This is a quick summary. The timeline goes into further detail. Again, you’re free to believe as you like.

2011- predebut; friends as evidenced by Tae saying in an interview he noticed Jk first + Jk bought Tae a shirt for him while in America; Jk has also said Tae brought him out of his shell

213- debut; close friends; possible attraction but not recognized yet; this can be deduced based on them singing to one another in Rookie Kings in ep 7, Tae saying “you’re beautiful” to Jk and not the girl in the “Beautiful” MV + when the members go over the VHope kiss in episode 8, Jk seems very uneasy and uncomfortable about it (prior to the kiss talk, Taekook were affectionate, linking hands and hugging, mimicking one another)

2014; close friends who have noticed the attraction each feels and begin pushing boundaries to see how the other will respond; an example would be festa 2014, when Tae says touching thighs is for pervs but then is fine with Jk doing so moments later; Tae is visibly aroused by Jk dancing in two different moments this year (April during “boy in luv” and Sept 16 when he bites his lips and gets heavy lidded); in April when BTS act out a skit of Jk falling in love, TK pretend to lean in for a kiss and neither expresses discomfort. Milestone - realizing the other doesn’t react negatively to flirting / boundary testing

2015: close friends continuing to push boundaries; suspicions by us (theorizing) of a first kiss due to Tae drawing attention to his lips in two selecas in January + Jk recommending a gay song “Memo”, in which he changed the lyrics to say he wants “one more”; 123 theory first comes into play as well as Jk starting to send messages through songs - in May he recommends a song by Eels and highlights “can’t help falling in love” + in the same month Tae and Hobi cover “hug me” and then Jk uploads a song “eat” which has the line about wanting to hug someone. In December he covers “paper hearts” and shortens the lyrics from the original by 3 seconds so “when there’s cameras and I can’t reach you” is at 1:23. He also releases “fools” half an hour before Tae’s birthday. It’s an LGBTQ song. He’s called Tae a fool before in a fan sign. In addition, there is a lot of sexual tension in 2015 - Notably, festa. In June, Tae suggestively plays with a mic and Jk puts a mic in his mouth. When BTS appear on Yaman, TK are the only ones to interlock hands + appear to share looks of complicity when the interviewer asks if the members ever touched each other. During tension escalator, both exhibit a lack of boundaries and show comfort in being in each other’s space in a way the other members don’t feel (see an in-depth analysis of the moment by BL expert Pam here - https://youtu.be/mu8K1KBcn_0). They’re still playful with dubsmash and a secret handshake. They also begin to be more aware of cameras. They’re visibly separated in November during the HHYH concert making and when a camera pans to them in December, Tae stops leaning his head on Jk’s shoulder. Milestone - in our opinion, a possible first kiss happened this year, but they remained close friends testing boundaries

2016- FWB; we believe this is when they began to be intimate, though they didn’t label it. They’re flirty in Jan when they discuss Jk being an adult / turning 20. There are suspicions Jan 26 is an anniversary due to Tae uploading “how am I supposed to live without you” on this day and jk responding the same day with “nothing like us”. They’re generally affectionate in clips, such as summer package in Dubai. Jk is distracted in BV1 til Tae shows up. Jimin claps at a heart with their name in it + TK cuddle one morning without barriers or displays of uncomfortableness. We believe the dynamics changed between BV1 and SMART based on the tension in SMART. Tae is shy and Jk looks like he won at life; both bump arms and share shy and happy glances. Taekook is also coined this year! Due to external stressors, and shakiness/uncertainty in what their relationship really is, in our opinion TK remain close friends but end it come autumn 2016. They may have reunited briefly, based on continuing to display affection and attraction to one another, but proceeded to end things again by the end of the year. Milestone - in our opinion, this is the year they became intimate; FWB/not a serious relationship

2017- they become an official couple this year. In the beginning of the year they display jealousy towards one another, and Tae is very extra in his actions to Jk (ex - GDA awards in Jan). We believe Tae was trying to win Jk back. By March 2017 they appear to reunite and enter a renewed honeymoon period, as can be seen by the private convo vlive in April, ILY signs in Chile, suspicious kissing sounds in Tae’s Brazil vlive and festa footsie + suggestive actions at that event. They are still battling through the rollercoaster of 2016, which is why in BV2 we see them be sweet (“you’re mine” “do you want to live here with me?” To jk singing “nothing like us” in the direction of Tae’s room while seeming to be melancholy). Jk sings “nothing like us” in an interview and Tae gets shy. They display general closeness, like in the Run ep filmed in Nov when Jk eats food that has fallen from Tae’s mouth. They’re overall touchy in American interviews and hold hands after the AMAs when they don’t believe cameras are on them. They also do their handshake on MAMA and don’t have space between them during the show. Milestone - became an official couple  

2018- all appears fine with them as a couple, though both struggle with disbandment talks as individuals and as a group. This year is when we see the cheek kisses and “am I your friend?”, as well as “look at me, just me” from Jk to Tae in a run episode. Namsan private date on 1/26. Tae also tells Jk his eyes are always on him and he loves him during his birthday message to him. “Taekook best unit” is said by Tae at a fan sign, further proof of them supporting their “ship”. They display consideration and support to each other, like in Run ep 52, when Jk offers to trade cards with Tae so Tae doesn’t have to go to the sauna with his skin condition, or when Jk comforts Tae about his mullet at a fan sign. They also flash the ILY sign to each to each other at the BBMAS + BV3 happens when Jk is visibly excited to room with Tae (dropping hints / members congratulate) and is distracted til he shows up. Concert nape kiss. Milestone - solid, secure couple

2019- TK continue to appear close without issues or breaks. They’re flirty and affectionate at fan signs. Jk gestures twice to Tae as his life partner in the Japanese bbq interview, while Tae flicks his chin and they play footsie. They display traditional marriage threads while at a concert in Busan and Tae says Busan has his heart. They give themselves away as roommates in the May vlive with Jin and Jimin. Tae mentions the LGBTQ movie “call me by your name” twice. Jk says “I’m still me” from the LGBTQ movie “Love, Simon” at Festa. Jk awards Tae the “I thought you’d be beyond my imagination” award. They’re flirty in the “Home” performance and affectionate during MAMA. Weverse comment in November has been debunked. Jk doesn’t acknowledge Tae’s birthday online but gives him an airport  nape kiss that day. ILY signs during the NYE vlive. Milestone - to me, it’s possible they talked about the future together since Jk confidently referred to Tae twice as his life partner in the Japanese bbq interview and Tae responded by flicking his chin affectionately when “family” was brought up + marriage threads + matching hanboks

2020: all seems fine, in fact, dynamics may have shifted to truly indicate some sort of promise as TK have gotten bolder - they both wear rings on their left ring finger at the Grammys, along with matching outfits, and Jk breaks the lineup to stand by Tae (again, rumored anniversary as this happened Jan 26); general closeness and affection can be seen in American interviews, dancing together on Fallon and during CNS (with JK flashing the ILY sign); they wear matching outfits during BBC Live; Jk continues to wear Tae’s rings throughout the year. Milestone- i believe they’ve made some sort of deeper promise to each other, hence why Jk wears the rings and their actions are generally loud.

Final reminder this is all opinion / theory. You’re entitled to believe as you like. This is our stance. 

[kanene-yaaay]

Thank you so much for tagging me @heyoitsgenderconfusion !!! :DD

1) Why did you choose your URL?

So, FUN FACT!

I didn’t created my username at all! :D

My original username was ‘KawaiiNekoNeko’ but then I become friend with the wonderful @yussuna who wanted to call me by a nickname and then offered some options, which I choose ‘Kanene’ becuase it sounded cool! The nickname stick and I thought it was so nice and unique that I decided to stay with it! ^w^) 

2) Any side blogs?

Yeeep! @kanene-yaaay-o-retorno for all my non-tickling stuff. -u-)b

3) How long have you been on tumblr?

I am not pretty sure the exact date I created my account but I do believe it was somewhere in 2019. I started to lurk around in the shadows around 2018, tho!

4) Do you have a queue tag?

I don’t really know what is a queue tag buuuut you can find all my most important tags on my Summary! :DD *jazz hands* yay

5) Why did you start your blog in the first place?

Tumblr was the first place where I had contact with the tickle community and amazing t-fic writers too. I found them in an extremely tough year and I wanted to comment and like their arts as a small thank for everything their art help me to go through.

I also had no one to talk about tickles so I wanted to ramble about them sdfghjhgf xDD And share my ideas and t-fics as well!

6) Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

I am still discovering myself and I want to cheerish how I am currently pierciving myself. I just recently realized that I am Aro and, even if it changes in the future, I want to embrace all my discoveries!

But honestly a GIGANTIC thanks for @yussuna for drawing pretty much all my icons of almost all my social media accounts for the past 4 years sdwerfghjkfgh. I luv u so much <33

7) Why did you choose your header?

It’s was an AWESOME gift from my very dear friend @queenmbean and, honestly, it’s very noice and I wanted everyone to appreciate it sdjjhgfdefg.

8) What’s your post with the most notes?

Bruh, it’s a silly smol fic I created in a random, strong ler mood dfghjhgfd. I still need to prrofread it btw xD.

Let me Brush Your Hair  - Lee!Roman and Ler!Virgil with Lee!Virgil&Ler!Roman implied in the very end.

9) How many mutual’s do you have?

I think it’s around 22! 

10) How many followers do you have?

Oh, how can I, a poor mortal, count all the stars and shadows that habitate here? ~

11) How many people do you follow?

233 sdfghyujkiiuytrefgh

12) Have you ever made a shit post?

Yeeeah. Crazy thoughts I have from nowhere. It’s been a time since one, tho.

13) How often do you use tumblr a day?

It’s depends on the day buuuut I would say around 5-20 times per day

14) Did you ever have/had a fight with another blog?

I mean, I already got into a discussion in a blog that was being attacked? My asks were more directed at the anons attacking him and I didn’t stay until the end so I don’t know if it counts? I like to avoid conflict tho.

15) How do you feel about “you need to reblog” posts?

It depends a lot. I understand some of them are really important and sharing is crucial for the information to search more people, but the ones that are just ‘if you don’t rb something very bad will happen’ just makes me angry.

16) Do you like tag games?

Yep, yep, yeeep! They’re nice and good to ramble!

17) Do you like ask games?

Yesh!! I like to being active with the beans who follow me. It’s fun!

18) Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

Oh boi, def @oliviaischillin1204, @made-by-jade-222, @giggly-squiggily, @ticklepinions, @august-anon, @lazytickles,  @a-fluffer-nutter and @fluttertickles. U are all cool B)

19) Do you have a crush on a mutual? 

Yep! I have some platonic crushes >u< (I am pretty sure there is a term for it but I forgot :’v)

20) Tags!

I am in a bit of a hurry so dfghjklkjhgfd feel free to do that if you want to! Again, thank you very much for the tag! It was very cooool doing this! >u<

[lifetimeswiftie13]

16 things i learned before turning 16

inspired by miss taylor swift<3

according to my birth certificate, I turn 16 tomorrow. it’s weird because part of me still feels 8 and part of me feels 283, but the actual age i am is 15. i’ve heard people say that your late teen years are “the most fun” so I'll definitely keep you posted on my findings on that when I know. but until then, I thought I'd share some lessons I've learned before reaching 16, because it's 2019 and sharing is caring.

ONE:

be proud and take credit for your accomplishments

- it’s important to celebrate every victory, no matter how big or how small. be proud of yourself for accomplishing something you worked hard on:) these small steps can help a lot with overall self confidence!

TWO:

choose people who choose you.

- this is one of the most important lessons i’ve learned and is something that is SO important to me. i’ve definitely struggled in the past with finding people who were right for me & and who cared for me as i cared for them. i’ve learned the hard way that having friends who could care less about your feelings and values, aren’t worth your time. being new my first year of high school & trying to hold on to old friendships was definitely a hard balance, but i learned to let go of toxic friendships and invite new people into my life who actually cared about me. opening up to new friendships has given me the most amazing friends that I will forever be thankful for.

THREE:

self care is SO important!!

- have you ever heard the term “self care isn’t selfish, it’s important”? because if so, please know that it is so!! true!! you work so hard & deserve a little me time every once and a while, if not all the time!! put on a face mask, make yourself a cup of tea or coffee, put on your favorite movie, and relax!! you deserve it!

FOUR:

taylor swift has given me the best friends in the entire world

-“don’t meet strangers from the internet”...so sorry to disappoint! i’ve literally met almost ALL of my best friends through miss taylor from online & I wouldn’t trade their friendship for the world. the girls i have met are literally my family and i can’t even describe the amount of love i have for each one of them...lit rally unreal luv. there’s not a word powerful enough to describe how lucky i feel to have them in my life, I truly do not know what i would do without them. best freaking friends ever. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.

FIVE:

i’ve learned that i LOVE amusement parks

-i used to be absolutely terrified of rides/roller coasters but i recently went and had the time of my life😆😆 (if any of you ever want to go, LET ME KNOW!)

SIX:

sometimes the meanest voices are our own

-ever since i was little, i’ve been very self conscious about the way others view me. when someone doesn’t reply to my text right away or seem “interested to talk to me”, i would make up events in my head and start to think that they hated me. i’ve learned that i can’t do this anymore!!!! it’s a waste of time! i just need to remind myself that i have amazing friends & family and that i love them so much & that everything’s in my head!!

SEVEN:

check in on the people you love

-you truly never know what people are going through so i’ve learned that it’s important to every once in a while check in on people you care about and ask them how they are. even if they don’t feel like talking about what’s going on, it will show them that you care & I’m sure they will really appreciate it<3

EIGHT:

kindness matters!!

-small expressions of kindness can have such a positive impact on people’s lives!!!

NINE:

i LOVE to travel

-because so many of my best friends live all around the country (and world!!) thanks to miss taylor swift, i have been to so many new states!! just this past year i’ve been to new york, connecticut, texas, maryland, virginia, and soon rhode island!! i’ve had the absolute most fun & it has brought me so much joy!

TEN:

it will pass

-whatever is causing you to worry or experience pain won’t last forever. time heals and things will change. it will eventually pass.

ELEVEN:

editing is so! much fun!

-around february of 9th grade, i began making video edits. i would sit in my room for hours putting together a video that would in the end, only be 30 seconds long!! i learned that video editing & picture editing is something that i love to do!!

TWELVE:

everything happens for a reason

-this is something that i used to have a very hard time believing. when I would experience pain, loss, joy, literally anything, my mom would tell me that it happened for a reason. now that i’m a little older, i’ve understood the concept more and definitely believe it!

THIRTEEN:

my love for taylor swift grows more & more everyday

-as many of you know.. miss taylor swift has played a HUGE part in my life. her music has helped me through more than i can explain and makes me feel so understood. seeing how much she has grown as a person these past few years has been so amazing and inspiring. I couldn’t have asked for a better role model and best friend. I’m so unbelievably proud of her, I love her so so much<3

FOURTEEN:

pinterest is SO COOL!!

-i probably sound like such a mom for saying that (because my mom literally always says that) but I MEAN IT!! i love pinterest so much. it has given me so much inspiration: fashion, motivational quotes, room decor, fun things to do on rainy days, how to make super complicated baked goods (did i fail at making them? yes! but it was still FUN), etc. i love that app. I LOVE IT. rant: over!

FIFTEEN:

never let go of a hug first

-i remember taylor saying that whenever she hugs someone, she never tries to let go of the hug first because she doesn’t know how much they need it. that is something i will never forget & always keep in mind whenever hugging anyone<3

SIXTEEN:

always tell your friends & family that you love them.

-“i love you”. 3 words that are so meaningful and important. if you are reading this, i love you. i hope you are having an amazing day<3

love,

kayla🌸🌥🌈

[ggukcangetit]

Long Tag Game

Thanks for the tag @ezralia-writes

tagging : anyone else

tell me the first song that made you stan your current fave group and why did your faves attract you so much?

first song by bts that i heard was probably IDOL but what made me stan them was probably Boy In Luv lmao. the aggression that all the liddol bangtan babies had in the Boy In Luv performance + Tae in orange hair growling.  yup that was it.

—

T W O

rule: answer the ten questions and write your own!

1) what’s your unrealistic goal for life?

idk if goals can be unrealistic lol. dreams may be unrealistic. but whatever. unrealistic goal 🤔 that i can change my sleeping and eating schedule in one fell swoop lmao idk

2) if you had known that we would be in a global pandemic, what’s one thing that you would’ve done before things shut down (if they have for you)?

that’s morbid lol. but i would’ve cleared my desk at my workplace. idk if i’ll ever go back and it has a lot of pictures of my friends and family there.

3) what’s an unconventional thing that you carry around with you when you go out?

okay full disclosure but im basically always prepared for a zombie apocalypse. so i carry a lot of things with me when i go out.

4) favourite type of plushies and why?

anything soft and not creepy looking idk???

5) favourite song right now?

Black Swan has been looping in my brain the last few days

6) something that you’ve always wanted to learn?

archery

7) tell a funny story about yourself (or just something that you’ve witnessed)

i was once asked to take my aunt and cousin around the city and we got tragically lost and this story basically never leaves me now lmao

8) headphones or speakers? why?

in public its obv headphones (what kind of question is that) but if im at home id always prefer speakers.

9) craving any food right now? what are you craving?

everything? lmao. but specifically food from home which i haven’t had in more than 6 months.

10) which music streaming platform do you prefer? why?

i use itunes because its there. but maybe changing to spotify soon?

My Q’s:

what was the weirdest dream that you’ve woken up from?

if you were an ice-cream flavor, what would you be?

if you could meet a fictional character, who would it be?

what dish/food/meal do you hate to prepare?

would you rather live in the mountains or at the beach? why?

what’s the first thing you see in a potential friend?

which is your favorite Sherlock Holmes adaptation and why?

if you could play one sport with a celebrity of choice what would it be? and with whom?

what makes you the most angry?

if 2019 was a color, what would it be?

—

T H R E E

rule: bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people.

AIR ༉⋆͙̈

i have small hands / i love the night sky / i watch animals and birds when i pass them by / i drink herbal tea / i wake to see the dawn / the smell of dust is comforting / i’m valued for being wise / i prefer books to music / i meditate / i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

FIRE ༉⋆͙̈

i don’t have straight hair / i like to wear ripped jeans and overalls / i play an organized sport / i love dogs / i am not afraid of adventure / i love to talk to strangers / i always try new foods / i enjoy road trips / summer is my favorite season / my radio is always playing

WATER ༉⋆͙̈

i wear bracelets on my wrists / i love the bustle of the city / i have more than one set of piercings / i read poetry / i love the sound of a thunderstorm / i want to travel the world / i sleep past midday most days / i love simply lit dinners and fluorescent signs / i rewatch kids shows out of nostalgia / i see emotions in colors not words

EARTH ༉⋆͙̈

i wear glasses or contacts / i enjoy doing the laundry / i am a vegetarian or vegan / i have an excellent sense of time / my humor is very cheerful / i am a valued advisor to my friends / i believe in true love / i love this chill of mountain air / i’m always listening to music / i am highly trusted by the people in my life

AETHER ༉⋆͙̈

i go without makeup in my daily life / i make my own artwork / i keep on track of my tasks and time / i always know true north / i see beauty in everything / i can always smell flowers / i smile at everyone i pass by / i always fear history repeating itself / i have recovered from a mental disorder / i can love unconditionally

—

F O U R

the ultimate tag: answer whichever ones you want to because there are a lot and then tag a few blogs you’d like to get to know better!

PERSONAL

name: cha

nickname: over here it is cha and cha only lmao

birthday: september

zodiac: virgo

nationality: Asian

languages: 3+

gender: Female

sexuality: Straight

height: 5′9

BLOG STUFF

inspiration for muse: movies/series sometimes make me super philosophical lol. plus i’d say people around me also inspire my creativity.

meaning behind my url: it is so hard to come up with a catchy bts related blog name D: but i wanted something with gguk because its super endearing.

blog established: 2 months.

followers: 84 i think 🤔 

FAVORITES

favourite animals: turtles

favourite books: a thousand splendid suns by khalid hosseini is still one of my favs

favourite colour: shades of blue

favourite fictional characters: i love sirius black lmao. also death from sandman

favourite flower: i don’t like flowers ew

favourite scent: coffee + freshly baked bread/desserts

favourite season: summer

RANDOM

average hours of sleep: 6

cats or dogs: both?

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: coffee (iced tho)

current time: 5.31 pm

dream trip: i really want to go to Seoul and Tokyo

dream job: i had a random dream of becoming a patissier. maybe i can do that later in life who knows.

hobbies: i’m bad at this. anything that i feel like doing at the moment i guess

hogwarts house: ravenclaw

last movie watched: the last thing he wanted (that anne hathaway movie on netflix which deserves to be thrown into the trash imo)

last song listened to: Yeah! by Usher

no. of blankets you sleep with: one

random fact(s): hmmmmmmmm i like to have something savoury after dessert. always wanted to be good at some sport. 

F I V E

10 things i can’t stop listening to

Black Swan - BTS

Yeah! - Usher

In Silence - Janet Suhh (It’s Okay to Not be Okay soundtrack)

December, 1963 - Frankie Vallie and the Four Seasons

Friends - BTS

Filter - BTS

Shove It - Santigold

Boy With Luv - BTS

Mic Drop (Steve Aoki remix) - BTS

Airplane pt. 2 - BTS

[twilightvolt]

And so, another year has come to pass.....almost. ^  ^

Remember when i said i was branching away from Digimon back when i drew up Venom fanart? y’know, “I wanted to be more than what i used to be.” that being “a Digimon artist.”

2019 was basically just that. lots and lots and LOTS of fandom hopping.

If last year was me recovering from the pain and crippling anxiety of 2017, then this year was me finally getting up again, learning to stand up and live for myself rather than in fear of those i shouldn’t care about anymore. life still hasn’t been too kind to me even though, compared to last year, we’re in a better space. but i’ll get into more detail about that while i go through everything month by month on the clock.

Before we begin, if you’d like to see the previous years, here’s the links!

2018:https://twilightvolt.tumblr.com/post/181732950569/i-kinda-was-saving-this-for-when-i-had-the-time-to

2017:https://twilightvolt.tumblr.com/post/171806337539/a-3-month-late-art-summary-featuring-art-that-i

Might wanna grab your popcorn, my dudes. this is a long one.

January: On the Web

Coming out of 2018, things were pretty ok if i remember. i don’t remember much from this month aside from a few doodles i did like this one from when Spiderverse was the hottest thing. this was one of the last things i drew in my old style. before i decided to officially change things up in the next month.

February: Gotta Kick it Up

Pokemon Sword & Shield were announced and things were hype! oh, how things soured as the months went by. lol

But yeah, this was me taking that experimental sketchy pencil style from that Smash Bros. drawing and rolling with it all the way! it’s become my new go-to style and even though it’s still hella sketchy at times, i feel like it looks better in comparison to my old ink outlined drawings.

March: The Overdrive Dweebanoids

Oh right. my old Ben 10 phase that lasted for a millisecond in 2016 returned with a vengeance. and it was glorious. lmao

It spawned an AU that i didn’t delve into much, but if i ever get that spark for my favorite alien watch bearer, i’ll get back to it.

April: True Blue Lizard Bois

My Ben 10 streak continues and i was crankin’ out art left and right for it. i luved all the “doodle dumps” i made, but this drawing was wholesome and i picked it because of that.

To some extent, this could be a comparison between my past and my present. that being Overdrive!Ben being what, at the time, was my current obsession while Digimon!Vivi was a representation of where i used to be, back when i was starting out and entering Digimon OCTs on Deviantart.

May: Return to the Realm of Sleep ~HD ReMIX

Now THIS i feel was one of the grandest drawings i’ve done this year. hell, i even made a wallpaper out of it.

like, it was just a redraw of an old drawing from 2017. but to me, it was a way to tell me just how far i’ve come since then. and i couldn’t be happier.

This was also the month i rebooted my DA after a long time of inactivity!

....Iiiit didn’t really work much, but i’m still working on it. though i highly doubt it’s worth it considering most of the ones i used to hang with there are either people i don’t wanna associate with or people who left while i was gone. seriously, it’s a ghost town there.

June: Art Fight 2019 ~Dreams Vs. Nightmares~

Ahh, my second year of Art Fight. for this year’s event, i wanted to be a tad more grandiose. like drawing up this banner. i like being extra and stuff even if it kills my drawing hand, so yeah. lmao

...

Florida thunderstorms are friggin’ terrifying. idk HOW anyone can get used to that.

July: - BREAK DOWN -

Oookay, it was hard picking my favorite attack this year cuz i pretty much was satisfied with all of them. but i had to go with this attack because the artist i drew it for was someone i really admired for years and i’m just happy i could finally have an opportunity to draw them something. like, i luv how it came out, so yeah.

This was also the month i forced myself to finally do the thing and let go of the constant fear i felt towards certain people i used to hang with. while remembering 2017 will never NOT hurt, i can’t let that fear rule over me forever. i have to take control and not let it stop me from doing what i want. and that’s exactly what i did.

August: Ricky ~Sapphire, Emerald and AlphaSapphire

Oh yeah! after Art Fight ended, i returned to Pokemon randomly cuz i wanted to go back to my roots for a moment. revamping Ricky, formerly Ragna, and Yagami was something i’ve been meaning to do for awhile and it reignited a waning love for a series i started growing distant towards since Gen VII.

I used to really like Ricky’s old design even though i barely ever used him. but i guess this just shows how much more original i’ve gotten in terms of character design. ^  ^

September: Heartbeat Inferno

Now, i haven’t really talked much about what’s been going on life wise for most of this post, but trust me when i say irl, things weren’t really.....happening. like, it’s hard when you live (or rather, lived now) in a place with little job opportunity and you have NO experience whatsoever. the lack of progression must’ve hit something in me, so the week i drew this was me just....shifting moods, feeling everything at once. one day i’d be agitated as hell, the next i’d be so depressed i took a some odd hour nap and didn’t wanna get out of bed. like, for most of this year, i haven’t felt this stressed out and frustrated with myself. so this sudden crash was kind of....unwelcome.

But this drawing was a fresh change though, if i’m being honest. i’m not usually this uncaring about how clean the coloring job is, but i like it! i’d choose that other drawing i did for my friends’ birthdays, Skirmish at the Cable Club, but this one had a more personal drive behind it.

October: - PAPERMOON -

beastarsbeastarsbeASTARSBEASTARS--*COUGH COUGH AHEM* I MEAN....hai. :D

Continuing with my Pokemon shenanigans, i drew this big piece which was something i had in my head for years now, but never actually acted upon it cuz i always felt it was too big of an idea to work on. i’m happy i’ve managed to capture what i envisioned originally.

As for interests, i’m sure most of my current followers can deduce that i quickly shifted gears to Beastars as soon as the anime was released and so far, i regret nothing. it’s spawned a metric butt ton of new art from me and the way i see it, this phase ain’t stopping as long as this series continues. brace yourselves fam, i believe i’ve finally found the successor to my Digimon phase. lmao

Like, damn, i had a tough time choosing art for this month. i was stuck between this, - SMILE/WILD SIDE - and Slip Into Madness. so many good drawings i was satisfied with, y’know?

November: The Future is Now

I was SO planning on putting something else here, but then suddenly i just kinda had this urge to redraw that uggo gouache painting of Miyagi from highschool. and it turned out so good that i had to. like, really. lmao

As with the redraw of Dream Drop Digital’s key art, it was a reminder of how far i’ve come since then art wise. and i feel like i’ve accomplished so much this year because of it. ;w;

December: Winter Lights

And now we’re back to the present time. after over a year or so of living in Florida, we’ve moved once again back up north a bit. yet another clean slate, but things seem to be looking up despite the rather large bumps in the road the past week or so. lately i’ve been feeling that seasonal depression starting to set in, but i think i’ll be fine as long as i stay positive. cuz y’know, it’s not being happy all the time. it’s just knowing that things will get better someday.

One of the other reasons i drew this drawing was cuz i REALLY wanted to have something Beastars related on this clock. this series (and Legoshi in particular) really inspired me, so i had to leave a wedge open for my boi.

Looking back at the beginning of this decade (as 2020 would mark the next one), i realized that the 2010′s were basically me becoming more artsy. finding enjoyment for a new hobby that quickly became something i’m now more passionate about than video games which i didn’t think would EVER be the case.

Funny enough, it all started in the RP section of a little forum for an MMO called Wizard101. i was only in middle school at the time and, to tell you the truth, i had no idea i’d be going at it for this long. thought i’d just do it on the side but not really delve into the art world more.

But despite all the trips and falls, fandom drama or otherwise, i wouldn’t change anything if it meant i wouldn’t have the friends who’ve stuck by me in the aftermath of those times.

I may not be really succeeding in much, but it’s the small steps in life that matter most in the end. these past few months in particular was me getting fed up with feeling sorry for myself for not doing the things i was interested in in the past, getting over my regret and making plans for starting something new even though i know i’ll suck at first and not worrying so much about how others might perceive me.

And just like how life was changing for our resident grey wolf this first season, mine seems to be doing the same. and i believe this decade ended on a better note than i thought it would during the past couple years leading up to this.

Here’s to a new decade! ^  ^

~ For a future I want to believe in. ~

[onestowatch]

The Best of 2019 and Beyond | Staff Picks

It’s the end of 2019. The world is on fire. You inhale your mango-flavored juul pod. The most pivotal figure in the world is a 16-year-old Swedish girl. Your Amazon Alexa listens intently in the corner of your bedroom. What I’m trying to say is that it has been an absolutely crazy year and an equally mind-blowing year for music. And what better way to cap the end of a year, an end of a decade than to perform a mandated survey on the entire Ones To Watch staff in the hopes of gathering their thoughts on the music that shaped their 2019, their 2010s, and their predictions for this brave new decade.

Maxamillion Polo

Most Underrated Artist of 2019: An honest toss-up between keshi and Aries. Believe 2020 belongs to them.

Best Breakout Artist of 2019: Lizzo, who is finally getting the recognition she’s deserved for years.

Best Music Video of 2019: BTS - “Boy With Luv”

Biggest Artist Crush of 2019: Carly Rae Jepsen, this year and every year.

Best Concert You Attended in 2019: Childish Gambino at The Forum. Felt like church.

Favorite 2019 trend: stan and cancel culture. Live by the sword; die by the sword.

What moment of 2019 will you not be forgetting anytime soon?: Naruto-running through Area 51.

Who is poised to be the breakout artist(s) of 2020: Conan Gray is going to be absolutely massive come this time next year.

Favorite Song of 2019: Dominic Fike, Kenny Beats - “Phone Numbers”

Favorite Album of 2019: Tyler, the Creator - IGOR

Favorite Artist of 2019: Lil Nas X, if only for his Twitter presence.

wow thanks u guys pic.twitter.com/CetLFOKP41

— nope (@LilNasX)

December 6, 2019

Favorite Song of the Decade: Grimes - “Oblivion.” Honorable mention goes to Mitski’s “Nobody.”

Favorite Album of the Decade: Kanye West - The Life of Pablo

Favorite Artist of the Decade: Childish Gambino, an unmatched creative.

New Year’s Resolution?: Take more pictures, edit more videos, cook more, and discover more artists.

Green Lee

Most Underrated Artist of 2019: Arin Ray

Best Breakout Artist of 2019: Kenny Beats

Best Music Video of 2019: TOSS UP BETWEEN GINGER ROOT’S “WEATHER” & “B4” BOTH FIRE. HUGE FAN. CAMERON LEW, YOU’RE THE MAN.

Biggest Artist Crush of 2019: BENEE

Best Concert You Attended in 2019: SLOWTHAI AT THE ECHO WITH DAVID O’ CONNOR. HOW MANY OF YOU CAN SAY THAT YOU’VE MOSHED WITH YOUR BOSS? HUH!?

Favorite 2019 trend: @foosgonewild

What moment of 2019 will you not be forgetting anytime soon?: Game of Thrones’ trash ass ending.

Who is poised to be the breakout artist(s) of 2020: BENEE

Favorite Song of 2019: Monsune - “Outta My Mind”

Favorite Album of 2019: MAGGIE ROGERS – HEARD IT IN A PAST LIFE

Favorite Artist of 2019: Channel Tres

Favorite Song of the Decade: Tyler The Creator ft. Frank Ocean - “She”

Favorite Album of the Decade: SHIT. This is hard. Majid Jordan by Majid Jordan or Whack World by Tierra Whack.

Favorite Artist of the Decade: BROCKHAMPTON.

New Year’s Resolution?: To be a better son and take better care of my body. Your health is your wealth. 

Jenna Singer

Most Underrated Artist of 2019: Huron John

Best Breakout Artist of 2019: Johnny Utah

Best Music Video of 2019:  Loved ROLE MODEL’s newest lyric video for “that’s just how it goes” – super simple and done very well.

Biggest Artist Crush of 2019: I don’t typically crush on artists, but seeing Jeremy Zucker perform live was a momementttttt

Best Concert You Attended in 2019: Polo & Pan – they are incredible, such a party

Favorite 2019 trend: Loose jeans lol – may low rise skinny jeans burn in the past forever

What moment of 2019 will you not be forgetting anytime soon?: Diplo playing Stagecoach – still confused, slightly jealous I missed it

Who is poised to be the breakout artist(s) of 2020: Ahhhhh! This is so hard to tell, the ability to make it big has been redefined with the ability to make music in your room. Really digging Gracie Abrams right now!

Favorite Song of 2019:  I have the worst memory, but “Hit the Back” by King Princess is a whole jam and has been on repeat

Favorite Album of 2019: Again, worst memory but LOVING Immunity by Clairo right now

Favorite Artist of 2019: Clairo

Favorite Song of the Decade: i. have. the. worst. memory. I’m going to go with “Stolen Dance” by Milky Chance

Favorite Album of the Decade: Sadnecessary by Milky Chance – a go to

Favorite Artist of the Decade: … Justin Bieber. Not for necessarily for his music, he’s withstood well against a lot of pressures from being such a world famous artist

New Year’s Resolution?: MAKE BIG CAREER MOVES – also carve out more time to relax. You are your best when you’re rested and clear-minded!

David O’ Connor

Most Underrated Artist of 2019: Sam Fender. So much more to come from him, can’t wait.

Best Breakout Artist of 2019: Clairo, built her own queendom of timely perception.

Best Music Video of 2019: “CRYABY” by Dijon. Visually tackles an emotion that’s hard not to look at.

Biggest Artist Crush of 2019: Lauren Sanderson. She may not care but I do enough for the both of us.

Best Concert You Attended in 2019: Wednesday, June 19, 2019. Sir SlowThai @The Echo w/ @fuqgreen.

Favorite 2019 trend: Flood-prepped pants  

What moment of 2019 will you not be forgetting anytime soon?: Lizzo memeing and melting the internet at every occasion.

Who is poised to be the breakout artist(s) of 2020: Arlo Parks, Deb Never, Dijon, Arizona Zervas, Audrey Mika, Alaina Castillo, Garçons, Sam Fender.

Favorite Song of 2019: “CHA” by LAUNDRY DAY. I am equally nostalgic and envious to write so honestly about teenage angst.

Favorite Album of 2019: slowthai - Nothing Great about Britain

Favorite Artist of 2019: slowthai

Favorite Song of the Decade: ANHONI - “Drone Bomb Me.” If you know me well, maybe too well, I’ll sing this song happily and loudly.

Favorite Album of the Decade: Intuitively obvious but My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy was the decade’s benchmark

Favorite Artist of the Decade: Kanye. Defending him became my protagonist social calendar.

New Year’s Resolution?: Work with more diehards before I die.

Malcolm Gray

Most Underrated Artist of 2019: Sudan Archives

Best Breakout Artist of 2019: Channel Tres

Best Music Video of 2019: Solange - “Almeda”

Biggest Artist Crush of 2019: Green Leef

Best Concert You Attended in 2019: Channel Tres at The Moroccan Lounge

Favorite 2019 trend: Creatives demanding ownership

What moment of 2019 will you not be forgetting anytime soon?: The last season of Game of Thrones being so mid

Who is poised to be the breakout artist(s) of 2020: Baby Keem

Favorite Song of 2019: Tyler, The Creator - “I Think”

Favorite Album of 2019: Toro y Moi - Outer Peace

Favorite Artist of 2019: Toro y Moi

Favorite Song of the Decade: Darius - “Hot Hands”

Favorite Album of the Decade: Kanye West - Yeezus

Favorite Artist of the Decade: Frank Ocean

New Year’s Resolution?: Listen to more music and make some music

Jimmy Smith

Most Underrated Artist of 2019: Can't Swim

Best Breakout Artist of 2019: Grayscale and Angel Du$t

Best Music Video of 2019: Blink-182 - “Not Another Christmas Song”

Best Concert You Attended in 2019: Vans Warped Tour 25 Year Anniversary Festival

Favorite 2019 trend: TikTok, all of it.

Who is poised to be the breakout artist(s) of 2020: The Chats

Favorite Song of 2019: Bring Me The Horizon - “Sugar Honey Ice & Tea”

Favorite Album of 2019: Issues - Beautiful Oblivion

Favorite Artist of 2019: Waterparks

Favorite Song of the Decade: Angel Du$t - “Toxic Boombox”

Favorite Album of the Decade: Every Time I Die - Low Teens

Favorite Artist of the Decade: Every Time I Die

New Year’s Resolution?: Meet My Chemical Romance

Alec Wing

Most Underrated Artist of 2019: Little Simz

Best Breakout Artist of 2019: Billie Eilish

Best Music Video of 2019: FKA twigs - “Cellophane”

Biggest Artist Crush of 2019: UMI

Best Concert You Attended in 2019: James Blake / The Strokes / The Who

Favorite 2019 trend: IGOR Wig

What moment of 2019 will you not be forgetting anytime soon?: Drake Getting Booed off stage at Camp Flog Gnaw

Who is poised to be the breakout artist(s) of 2020: Aldous Harding

Favorite Song of 2019: YBN Cordae ft. Anderson .Paak - “RNP”

Favorite Album of 2019: JPEGMAFIA - All My Heroes Are Cornballs

Favorite Artist of 2019: James Blake

Favorite Song of the Decade: Frank Ocean – “Self Control”

Favorite Album of the Decade: Kendrick Lamar - To Pimp A Butterfly

Favorite Artist of the Decade: Kendrick Lamar

New Year’s Resolution?: To build something and be proud of it.

Precious Kato

Most Underrated Artist of 2019: Monsune

Best Breakout Artist of 2019: BENEE

Best Music Video of 2019: Jungle - "Casio"

Biggest Artist Crush of 2019: Oscar Jerome

Best Concert You Attended in 2019: The 1975 at The Roxy

Favorite 2019 trend: Wearing your jacket draped over your shoulders. It feels badass!

What moment of 2019 will you not be forgetting anytime soon?: Having not one but two Fyre Festival documentaries.

Who is poised to be the breakout artist(s) of 2020: DVNA

Favorite Song of 2019: Friendly Fires - “Offline"

Favorite Album of 2019: Loyle Carner - Not Waving But Drowning

Favorite Artist of 2019: Hablot Brown

Favorite Song of the Decade: HONNE - “Take You High"

Favorite Album of the Decade: Mac Miller - The Divine Feminine

Favorite Artist of the Decade: Tom Misch

New Year’s Resolution?: Learn how to separate hope and naiveté.

Alexa Schoenfeld

Most Underrated Artist of 2019: Hamzaa, Jean Dawson.

Best Breakout Artist of 2019: Baby Rose, slowthai

Best Music Video of 2019: UMI ft. YEEK – “RUNNIN (EP. 3)”

Biggest Artist Crush of 2019: FKA Twigs, Pell

Best Concert You Attended in 2019:  PVRIS at The El REY 

Favorite 2019 trend: Millenial app astrology – have you entered the Co-Star universe?

What cultural moment of 2019 will you not be forgetting anytime soon?: No genre boundaries, no gender boundaries

Who is poised to be the breakout artist(s) of 2020: Remi Wolf, Peach Tree Rascals

Favorite Song of 2019: Jacob Collier ft. Daniel Caesar - “Time Alone With You” 

Favorite Album of 2019:  The Menzingers - Hello Exile 

Favorite Artist of 2019: UMI

Favorite Song of the Decade: The 1975 – “SOMEBODY ELSE”

Favorite Album of the Decade: Childish Gambino – “Awaken, My Love!”

Favorite Artist of the Decade: Kanye West

New Year’s Resolution?: EXHALE DEEPER

Brooke Pohle

Most Underrated Artist of 2019: Briston Maroney

Best Breakout Artist of 2019: Summer Walker

Best Music Video of 2019: Jadu Heart - “Purity”

Biggest Artist Crush of 2019: I would end it all for A$AP Rocky this year and every year

Best Concert You Attended in 2019: Maggie Rogers at the Greek Theatre

Favorite 2019 trend: Reflective 3M jackets

What moment of 2019 will you not be forgetting anytime soon?: The mess of Area 51

Who is poised to be the breakout artist(s) of 2020: Patrick Martin

Favorite Song of 2019: Maggie Rogers - “Light On”

Favorite Album of 2019: Billie Eilish - When we all fall asleep where do we go?

Favorite Artist of 2019: Briston Maroney

Favorite Song of the Decade: Rihanna - “Stay”

Favorite Album of the Decade: Lorde - Pure Heroine

Favorite Artist of the Decade: Rainbow Kitten Surprise

New Year’s Resolution?: Put my mental health first!!!

Jess Chung

Most Underrated Artist of 2019: Rosemary Fairweather

Best Breakout Artist of 2019: BENEE

Best Music Video of 2019: Crumb - “M.R.”

Biggest Artist Crush of 2019: Pedro Sampaio

Best Concert You Attended in 2019: Dominic Fike

Favorite 2019 trend: fanny packs !

What moment of 2019 will you not be forgetting anytime soon?: the reappearance of Keanu Reeves on social media / memes / movies / games

Who is poised to be the breakout artist(s) of 2020: Clairo

Favorite Song of 2019: Rex Orange County - “10/10”

Favorite Album of 2019: BROCKHAMPTON - Ginger

Favorite Artist of 2019: BROCKHAMPTON

Favorite Song of the Decade: Dominic Fike - “King of Everything” 

Favorite Album of the Decade: Tyler, the Creator - Flower Boy 

Favorite Artist of the Decade: Tyler, the Creator

New Year’s Resolution?: Do more hikes !

Jessica Thomas

Most Underrated Artist of 2019: Hope Tala

Best Breakout Artist of 2019: Rosalia

Best Music Video of 2019:  Ashnikko - “Hi It’s Me”

Biggest Artist Crush of 2019: ROSALÍA

Best Concert You Attended in 2019: BANKS at the Palladium

Favorite 2019 trend: Not sure if this counts but this dude is my hero… (editor’s note: totally doesn’t but I’ll accept cause same)

What moment of 2019 will you not be forgetting anytime soon?: Juice WRLD’s tragic passing and the effect it will have on generations of creatives to come.

Who is poised to be the breakout artist(s) of 2020: Boy in Space (!!!)  

Favorite Song of 2019: YBN Cordae ft. Anderson. Paak - “RNP“

Favorite Album of 2019: Matthew Chaim - The Mathematics of Nature

Favorite Artist of 2019: Lolo Zouaï

Favorite Song of the Decade: BANKS - "Gemini Feed"

Favorite Album of the Decade: SZA  - Ctrl

Joey Legittino

Most Underrated Artist of 2019: BabyJake

Best Breakout Artist of 2019: Aries

Best Music Video of 2019: Supa Bwe ft. Qari - “LOOK”

Biggest Artist Crush of 2019: Kailee Morgue

Best Concert You Attended in 2019: Beck, Cage the Elephant, and Spoon at FivePoint Ampitheatre 

Favorite 2019 trend:Cowboy culture hitting the mainstream. Yee Yee!

What moment of 2019 will you not be forgetting anytime soon?: Eating tide pods

Who is poised to be the breakout artist(s) of 2020: Ant Saunders

Favorite Song of 2019: Augustine - “Guts”

Favorite Album of 2019: Cage the Elephant - “Social Cues”

Favorite Artist of 2019: BabyJake

Favorite Song of the Decade: Mac Miller - “Self Care”

Favorite Album of the Decade: Blink-182 - “Neighborhoods”

Favorite Artist of the Decade: Mac Miller forever

New Year’s Resolution?: To not wait until New Years to make new resolutions for myself.

Chase Nathan

Most Underrated Artist of 2019: EARTHGANG

Best Breakout Artist of 2019: JID

Best Music Video of 2019: DaBaby - “BOP”

Biggest Artist Crush of 2019: Dominic Fike :)

Best Concert You Attended in 2019: slowthai at Flog Gnaw

Favorite 2019 trend: Baggy Pants - no more of that cuffed pant look

What moment of 2019 will you not be forgetting anytime soon?: Being 10th row at Flog Gnaw for Drake

Who is poised to be the breakout artist(s) of 2020: Bakar, Guapdad 4000, Kent Jamz, Grip, KEY!, Mez

Favorite Song of 2019: Tyler, The Creator - “ARE WE STILL FRIENDS?”

Favorite Album of 2019: Dreamville - Revenge Of The Dreamers III

Favorite Artist of 2019: Tyler, The Creator

Favorite Song of the Decade: Mac Miller ft. Anderson .Paak - “Dang!”

Favorite Album of the Decade: Anderson .Paak - “Malibu”

Favorite Artist of the Decade: Tie between Anderson .Paak and Pusha T

What Is Your New Year’s Resolution?: Be more positive!

George Schaefer

Most Underrated Artist of 2019: Pi'erre Bourne

Best Breakout Artist of 2019: Baby Keem

Best Music Video of 2019: Octavian ft. Skepta & Michael Phantom - “Bet”

Biggest Artist Crush of 2019: Summer Walker, Jhene Aiko

Best Concert You Attended in 2019: Baby Keem at The Roxy

Favorite 2019 trend: Igor Wig

What moment of 2019 will you not be forgetting anytime soon?: Watching Drake get boo'ed off stage

Who is poised to be the breakout artist(s) of 2020: Jean Dawson

Favorite Song of 2019: Pi'erre Bourne - “Guillotine”

Favorite Album of 2019: Baby Keem - DIE FOR MY BITCH

Favorite Artist of 2019: Toro y Moi

Favorite Song of the Decade: Kanye West ft. Pusha T - “Runaway”

Favorite Album of the Decade: Frank Ocean - Channel Orange

Favorite Artist of the Decade: Frank Ocean

New Year’s Resolution?: Get a job.

[flakandforay]

Smeraldo: the Notes and Webtoon Theory

overall: so bighit started dropping quite a fair bit of Smeraldo notes started posting out of nowehere on 7th Jan, on a Monday to say that there would be about 15 notes to be released. some dates overlapping with the previous ones that have been revealed in the album notes, highlight reels etc and notes released individually later on. sooner or later, the webtoon is also released on 15 Jan which is expected to end on April 11. the day when Seokjin keeps going back in time; or at least when he goes back in time, it just so happens to be April 11. 

warning(s): mentions of death, mental illnesses, abuse, suicide, violence; please do read with care

do support my ko-fi if you can~

theory: generally, you would have realized that bighit is planning something to which they are dropping the Notes (The most beautiful moment in life pt.1) whereas the webtoon is pt.2, and knowing them, there would most likely be a pt.2. this is to which someone mentioned on Twitter that there could be a possibly that pt.2 would be movie and that bight was just testing the responses if bighit does release one for this story. notice how bighit released 2 movies, burn the stage and ly in seoul so you could say this was a marketing practice for them. 

but anyway, bighit drops snippets of the notes for 15 consecutive days. i have no idea why 15, but moving on, it seemed like a lot was planned this year considering that the year 2013; the year that bangtan debuted, and this year 2019, is exactly identical, freaky but still. 

to get yourself more familiarize with what I'm about to talk about, please do look at my masterlist here for the full translations, possibly highlight reel posters and watch the highlight reels. 

someone on Twitter  ( user @/jmxyg ) also mentioned that she did some research to find out that these videos are the ones certified in the Bighit Universe. (BU) 

I NEED U  화양연화 on stage: prologue  RUN  Blood, Sweat and Tears  Wings Short Films  Highlight Reels 起承轉結  Euphoria  Fake Love  Epiphany

im going to go on a limb here and say that in all of these videos, it shows bangtan together, all except for Epiphany. Epiphany seems to the beginning or the end of which Seokjin tries to go back into time to help them. 

but anyway, notice how critical intros didnt make the cut? such as serendipity and singularity, i do think that they are part of the BU but it wasn't of much significance, it shows more of their relationships with their partners or of their inner struggles and has nothing to do with the HYYH storyline at all; hence why it is being cut out.

Euphoria was kept because it kinda of showed a whole alternate universe that i mentioned before in Euphoria theory; do give that a read if keen. it showed sort of alternate endings in which it could be said as though Seokjin successfully went back in time but the pain has been transferred to someone else. 

also notice how none of the earlier eras of bangtan before the most beautiful moment in life are part of it, such as no more dream, N.O. Skool luv affair or dark and wild, so in a way they are just of background information since it talks mostly about school rebellion; to which to some extent is being covered in HYYH: the Notes, but is not of that importance. 

the only one that was important is the BTS Begins VCR with the storage classroom and of the quote inside. (read 1984 theory). 

but also notice, how the the japanese music videos are not part of it, guess they are only focusing on the Korean timelines for now, but i do believe that the Japanese ones are of a different world etc. 

so let’s start start on identifying the various dates that has been mentioned. This includes various years at various timings. If you read my previous theory here; I have outlined overlapping dates for certain members as well.

so I'm going to just go out here and start putting each and every single note that bighit posted. 

So every time that smeraldo notes posted a note, they would acompany it with the relevant video in which I assume that’s where the note came from.

1st Note: Seokjin 2 May YEAR 22

“Would I be able to straighten out the errors and mistakes and save the others? I didn’t grasp the depth and weight of this question.

Video posted is the one from Euphoria; where Seokjin opens the curtains.

2nd Note: Yoongi 7 April YEAR 22

The car had just barely missed me. The remaining buzz of the alcohol made me giddy. Then I realized I couldn’t hear the piano anymore.

Video posted is from First Love, wings short films. Yoongi just avoided the car from barely hitting and crashing into him. 

this could also be seen from the HYYH: the Notes, O version. 

Yoongi  7 April YEAR 22

I came to a stop after hearing the sound of a piano. The only sound that could be heard at the empty construction site was someone popping an oil drum. I knew the sound of the song that I had just played, but why did I think of that? My drunken footsteps stumbled. I closed my eyes and walked even more carelessly. As the heat of the fire grew stronger, the piano sound, the night air, the drunkenness fading away.

I opened my eyes at the sound of horn as a car grazed dangerously past me. In the confusion of the blazing headlight, the wind of the car’s passing and my drunkenness, I stumbled helplessly. I could hear the curses of the driver. As I came to a stop to curse back, I could no longer hear the sound of the piano. In spite of the sound of the blazing fire, the wind and the silence left after the car, the piano sound was gone. It stopped. Why did it stop? Who was playing the piano?

The sparks from the fire picked up its pace towards the oil barrel with one sound together. I could only look at the scene blankly. My face became flushed. Bang, it was at that moment when I heard a fist slamming on the piano keys. Instinctively, I looked behind. For a moment, my blood rushed that my breathing became uneven. The nightmares that I had when I was young. That was where I heard the sound.  

The next moment, I was running. It wasn’t of my own will that I ran towards the music shop and instinctively looked behind. This was something like I had done numerous times. It was a feeling that I had forgotten something important. 

The music store had a broken window. In front of the piano, someone was sitting there. It had been a few years yet I still recognized the person. The person was crying, fists being clenched. I didn’t want to be concerned with anyone’s life. I didn’t want to comfort anyone who was lonely. I didn’t want to mean anything to someone. I couldn’t protect the person and I had no confidence. Until the end, I had no confidence. I didn’t want to give pain. I didn’t want to receive pain.  

I slowly moved. I wanted to go back but before I know it, I started approaching the person. Just then a wrong note was heard. Jungkook lifted his head and looked at me. “Hyung”. This had been our first meeting since quitting high school.

it looks like during this day, Jungkook met drunk Yoongi 

3rdNote: Namjoon 11 April YEAR 22

Seokjin just stood there on the edge of my sight. He didn’t come closer or start talking.

The video posted on twitter is of a separate video but actually it came from the BST JP. MV; interesting that remember how I mentioned that someone tweeted that there are videos being compiled as part of the BU, yet none of the Japanese ones were inside.

To make up for this and to ensure the smooth storyline, they made, trademarked and posted a separate video to go with these notes.

This scene would be familiar to those who read the webtoon “Save Me”; in which Seokjin does appear at the gas station; yet the only difference is whether Seokjin spoke to Namjoon as it lead to a whole ripple of effects.

4th Note: Jungkook 11 April YEAR 22

My phone rang, I came back to myself as if awakened from a long dream. I took out my phone. It was Yoongi.

The video posted was that of Euphoria; the scene in which Jungkook is at the roof of the building and if correct; it was said he would jump off the building and die.

Same thing happened in the webtoon; yet the only difference is whether he jumped off and crashed onto Seokjin’s car or not.

5th Note: Hoseok 23 July YEAR 10

Mom handed me a chocolate bar. “Hoseok, close your eyes tight and don’t open them until you count to ten.”

The video posted was the one from the highlight reel; where he was seen at an amusement park to which his mother abandoned him. Do read my fake love theory on this to understand it clearly.

This is where Hoseok faces his fear of abandonment; through which he relishes through the snickers candy bar and tried to trade it at the magic shop. (read Fake Love Teaser 1 Theory).

moreover, there is some relation in terms of HYYH: the Notes, L version. 

Hoseok  31 May YEAR 22

I reflexively turned my gaze away from the breathtaking wind. After dancing for a long time, often, I am out of breath but it is not that context. I thought I was similar to my mother. No, it wasn’t a thought or a perception, it couldn’t be described or explained. I couldn’t look at the face of my friend that I had known for 10 years already. We learned dance together, failed together, been frustrated and gained strength together. We slumped to the floor that was covered in sweat, we threw towels at each other and cracked jokes. It felt like a bothering sensation that I hadn’t felt in a while, and I hurriedly stood up. As soon as I reached the corner, I leaned back against the wall and stood there. I made an effort to calm my breathing. I could hear, “Where are you going, Hoseok-ah?” The voice. Nevertheless, I thought it could have been a voice. The voice calling, “Hoseok-ah”. A voice that I couldn’t recall now. It was a voice that brought me back to when I was nine years old.

so here, at YEAR 10, Hoseok was 9 years old, that means in YEAR 22, he would be 21, and assuming their real life age holds, their ages goes like this. 

Seokjin - 23 Yoongi - 22 Hoseok - 21 Namjoon - 21 Jimin - 20 Taehyung - 20 Jungkook - 18.

this would make a lot of sense because in the webtoon, it could be seen that Jungkook is still going to high school and following the Korean education system, when they are 18, it is their last year of high school; meaning Jungkook met the boys possibly during the 1st or 2nd year of high school. this is why he probably grew attached to them; especially during the times in the storage classroom. 

6th note: Jimin 28 September YEAR 20

I lied for the first time today. I looked into the doctor’s eyes and pretended to be depressed. “I can’t remember anything.”

The video posted with this is the one of Jimin in his Lie short film. He is seen to be in an isolated room with a Bob Ross painting and he stares into the camera and gives this nonchalant look.

Until now, many have speculated why would there be a need for Jimin to lie considering he already has some kind of illness that caused him to move schools quite frequently when he was young etc. Also, the scene in Euphoria in which as though he seemed to be alone yet sometimes the boys are there probably visiting him etc.

Some armys on twitter have speculated saying that the reason why Jimin lied was to stay in the hospital even longer so that he could be with Hoseok. As mentioned before, Hoseok has some kind of disease and turns out later through these notes, it is revealed he has more than one illness.

the full one could be seen here from the HYYH: the Notes, O version.

Jimin 28 September YEAR 20

I stopped counting the days since I was hospitalized. Counting is something you would do when you want to get out or there is hope of getting out. The trees and leaves were far outside the window and based on the clothes of people, I think that not much time has passed. At most, a month tops. Sometimes I see myself wearing the uniform though it was nothing special.  Maybe it was because of the medicine, everything looked boring and dull. But today was a special day. The kind of day you write in a diary. However, I didn’t have one and I didn’t want the problems that come with writing in one. Today was the first time I lied. I looked at the doctor’s eyes and pretended to be gloomy. “I don’t remember anything.”

7thnote: Yoongi 2 May YEAR 22

The sheet caught fire and instantly flared up. My last sight of this world was this dirty, isolated room, the red-hot flames and rolling heat, and Jungkook’s twisted face.

See here, the video posted was the one from I Need U, in which he set the whole room on fire. But if what im assuming is correct and if what the notes say it’s true, there’s a possibility that Euphoria’s scenes in which Jungkook tried to save Yoongi; the one where Seokjin sees across the window when he opened up the curtain.

Or, there’s another possibility in which what the notes say is of Yoongi’s imagination; in a way he just imagined Jungkook’s twisted face appearing right in front of him and that is assuming he is going to die etc; since mentioned in the Magic Shop book that at times of death; faces of those beloved would appear to them; and if this happens means that Yoongi did die in the end; nobody saved him. 

The part of Jungkook’s twisted face makes me realise that Yoongi must have betrayed him or something to the extent that Jungkook gave a twisted face. Please know that Jungkook and Yoongi are of the original pairing as well from the very beginning.

8th note: Hoseok 10 May YEAR 22

My narcolepsy occurred anytime, anywhere. I always ended up having dreams about Mom when I blacked out. The dreams were all alike. I was heading somewhere with Mom on a bus.

The video posted with this was when Hoseok blacked out along the expressway in I Need U; see many thought he overdosed on pills but little did we know that he was taking those pills as medication but he also had narcolepsy which caused him to faint and black out often.

narcolepsy = a condition characterized by an extreme tendency to fall asleep whenever in relaxing surroundings.

Reference

so, taking this into account along with Hoseok’s Munchausen’s disease which was already revealed in Mama. 

Munchausen syndrome is a factitious disorder, a mental disorder in which a person repeatedly and deliberately acts as if he or she has a physical or mental illness when he or she is not really sick. Munchausen syndrome is considered a mental illness because it is associated with severe emotional difficulties.

Reference

now im thinking, there’s a possibility Hoseok has this in order to stay with Jimin in the hospital but his prime illness is the narcolepsy in which he blacks out and falls asleep. 

9th Note:  Taehyung  20 May YEAR 22 

I wanted to kill myself instead of Dad. If i could, i wanted to drop dead right then and there. 

the accompanying video is that of Taehyung and Hoseok in the room with my guess, Taehyung’s younger sister, to which he was covered in blood. this came from Euphoria, and if this occurred, it meant that Seokjin was able to save Taehyung from killing his own father, and that the HYYH timeline has changed as mentioned in my Euphoria theory. 

see, this is a different parallel to what the webtoon posted; in which originally Namjoon was jailed because Seokjin didnt interact with him as such, hence why he was unable to pick up the phone call from Taehyung when he stabbed his father. This is why he was arrested; I'm assuming for the murder and not for graffiti. 

but now instead of Taehyung being arrested, he is saved in a way, that he won't be going to jail and that upon interacting with Namjoon, he is not in jail right now; sort of saving him as well. 

10th Note:  Jimin 15 May YEAR 22 

“Run, Jimin.” We all started running. I was caught up in the excitement and ran with them. The snacks and plastic soda bottles flew in the air. 

the video posted together is the scene of the boys in Euphoria in the cafeteria. see, here, I'm assuming the boys do visit Jimin in the hospital yet whether or not they knew of his condition, that I am unsure of. 

however, in HYYH: the Notes, it seemed as though Yoongi knew of his illness aside from Hoseok. 

yet, there is a possibility since because of Jimin’s illness is still roughly unknown, he might be hallucinating about these memories, it’s a possibility. 

11th Note:  Jungkook  22 May YEAR 22

At some point, we were all running along the coastal road. I was out of breath, sweaty, and had a splitting headache. But I didn’t stop because they continued on. 

the video posted showed the scene of Jungkook walking along and running along to which the rest of the boys followed. I felt as though you could feel the real brotherhood here. 

12th Note:  Taehyung  22 May YEAR 22

It was like the last scene in my dream. The only difference was that Seokjin was up there instead of me.

the video posted was that in the Euphoria; in which Taehyung and Seokjin switched places. instead of Taehyung committing suicide, Seokjin did. 

interesting that the events sort of changed here, i mean although we know they are from different videos, bighit has decided to string something else instead now, from Jungkook in INU running along to how Seokjin would sacrifice himself on the same day; this is not the same timeline but i guess bighit is forcing it to be since now they allocated years. 

yet, in the original HYYH: the Notes, this happened,

Taehyung 22 May YEAR 22

I passed by a pine tree forest as Hyung picked up a phone call and started to lag behind. Nowadays, there were more times like this. He moved far away so that he could pick up the call where others couldn’t eavesdrop. I deliberately slowed down ad hid myself off towards the ocean. Hyung wouldn’t be able to see me when he passed by. “He’s only one year younger than me. No, I don’t really care. Anyway, I’m not going to be the one taking the responsibility, just do whatever is best.”

Something cold slithered down my spine. It felt as if everything in the world crumbled and crashed with a bang. It felt as if I was floating alone in the deep ocean. It was scary and frightening. I was miserable and insignificant. I was angry. I couldn’t contain my anger. I wanted to cause a scene. I wanted to smash something, to hit something, to wreck myself. I was always afraid. That my father’s blood would run in me. I thought that maybe his violence was what I inherited. It seemed that something was stabbing my tight defenses.

it seemed as though Taehyung was in trouble and most likely Namjoon or Seokjin is on the phone with someone and they're trying to prevent Taehyung from going into jail but the fact that he needs to own up to his mistakes etc. 

possibly, this might be where everything spiraled down and not just on April 11. yet if you look at the Smeraldo notes that was being posted recently, it follows the one of Euphoria, so as to which one is correct or if it’s in sequence, nobody knows. 

it is possibly if these events happened one after another. 

Yoongi 8 June Year 22

I took off my t-shirt again. I looked in the mirror and it was not like me at all. The cotton shirt that was not my type had the word ‘Dream’ on it. No matter how you look at it, the red colour, the word, dream, the shirt didn’t fit me at all. Out of frustration, I pulled a cigarette and looked for my lighter. Since it wasn’t in the back pocket of my jeans, I looked inside my bag. (They) took it away. (They) took it from my hands without any constraint. (They) threw back to me were candy bars and this t-shirt.  

I messed up my hair and stood up when I heard the sound of a message. My heart began to beat faster as at the moment, my hand phone screen lit up brightly with a name that was 3 syllabuses. I broke my cigarette to check the message. In the next moment, I was laughing at the mirror. Wearing the tight t-shirt that had ‘Dream’ written on it, the red colour, I must have looked like an idiot.

here, it seemed as though Yoongi goes under rehabilitation, mostly the juvenile one since he is still in his early 20s but for what, no one knows. 

13th Note: Namjoon  13 July YEAR 22

Several days ago, I’d been here and seen some graffiti. I’d automatically looked around, but Taehyung had been nowhere in sight. I stared at the graffiti painted all over the wall for a while. 

the video posted was the one from highlight reels, in which Namjoon got off a bus stop to find the Save Me, I’m Fine graffiti on. 

i am not sure whether this is the same bus stop that keeps on appearing in Namjoon’s HYYH: the Notes but it’s worth a shot. 

14th Note:  Seokjin  30 August YEAR 22

The bouquet of Smeraldo flowers fell from my hand. She was lying in the middle of the road. Dark red blood flowed down the road. 

the video posted was the one from the highlight reel. sad to say that she was hit by a car as she rushed to meet Seokjin on the other side of the road. in all honesty, I still have no idea who these girls are being part of the highlight reel because originally they are not part of the story which was focused on brotherhood but i guess when they expanded to do other eras, they had to include it somehow in the story. 

yet interesting, based on the HYYH: the Notes, L version, this occurred roughly 2 weeks before. 

Seokjin 15 August YEAR 22 

After coming out of the busy intersection, I came to an abrupt stop as I was about to pick up speed. The car behind me blared its horn and someone spat out curses yet it went unheard in the noise of the city. I took a right turn to an alley corner to see a florist shop. The shop didn’t seem to be opened yet. It wasn’t that I suddenly saw the store but rather it was if I discovered it afterwards.  Inside the florist shop, there was construction still being done and the owner was organizing his documents. At that time, I had no real expectations. I had already travelled to several places, but not one florist knew of the flower’s existence. I could see a flower that had similar colours. However, I wasn’t looking for a flower with similar colours. The flowers had to be real. The owner looked at me for quite a bit when he heard the name of the flower and said that the florist shop isn’t officially open but he could deliver it to me. “Why do you need this flower?” I thought about it again as I turned the handle and got back on the road. I have a reason for needing that flower. There is only one reason. I want to make the person I give it to happy. I want to make the person smile. I want to be seen as a good person. I want to be a good person. 

this was where if you checked the Smeraldo blog post number 8 here, the florist mentioned how someone was looking to order a bouquet of the Smeraldo flowers, to which in this case I'm assuming Seokjin wanted to get to give to the girl yet when he wanted to, as based on the highlight reel, she ended up being hit by a car/vehicle. 

15th Note:  Jungkook 22 May YEAR 22

I didnt tell anyone, but I felt on that long-ago day that I had finally found a real family. Real brothers.

the video posted was the one from Euphoria, instead of Jungkook in the INU clothes, they are in pure white, but are at the same place. true family; truebrothers. 

this line is where it hits home.

but anyway, time to organize the dates now, so there a lot of overlapping dates but all occurring in YEAR 22; the year in which I believe Seokjin begins to travel back in time to save the boys. 

if you see based on the 15th note, it is pretty clear that all the boys are still there and alive but whether or not they are happy is another question. 

basically, the 5th and 6th note, is just background information on the boys but the more important ones are all happening in YEAR 22.

so it starts off with how Yoongi was almost killed in an accident, most likely because he was drunk and on the road on 7 April. 

Yet, on 11 April, the day to which Seokjin keeps going back in time, Seokjin tries to save Namjoon and does so by interacting with him at the gas station. not like the first time in which Seokjin didnt even bother to make conversation or small talk with him.

On the same day, Jungkook attempted to commit suicide by being on top of the building but was saved by Yoongi calling him on the phone. 

now, looking at Hoseok’s notes. 

2 March YEAR 22

I liked being among people. When I left the orphanage, I worked part time at a fast food restaurant, having a knack of making others smile while I work. I liked that kind of work. Actually, in my life, there were very few reasons for me to laugh or to be cheerful. It’s clear that I’ve seen more bad people than the good ones. Maybe that’s the reason why I liked the job. If I smiled brightly, spoke loudly and reacted cheerfully, I could pretend, even to myself, that I felt that way, even if it was deliberately done by me. My mood improved when I laughed loudly, and when I treated people kindly, I became a kind person. Yet, there were hard days as well. After cleaning the store and going back home, even taking a step was difficult. There days filled with fussy customers too. But even so, it was easier to hold it in because of my friends back then, as compared to now.

Sometimes I thought of my friends when I look at the store packed with customers. Seokjin Hyung who transferred schools without saying anything, Namjoon, who disappeared one morning, Yoongi Hyung who was expelled and won’t pick up my calls, Taehyung, who knows, where or what kind of accident is he possibly in now, and Jimin, who never returned to school and the last time I saw him was at the emergency room. I had seen Jungkook wearing the school uniform a few times through the window, but he never visited the store. I wondered if all those times have passed by now.

Hearing the sound of a customer, I gave a loud greeting. I looked towards the door with a bright and healthy smile.

it seemed as though Hoseok reminiscence them a lot, wondering how they are but he is skilled at hiding his emotions, taking on a job to hide away his worries by being around people and hiding from his past. 

looking at Taehyung’s notes now, 

29 March YEAR 22

The gas station owner spat on the ground as he left. I laid down on the ground in the same position that I had crouched in. I was drawing at the back of the wall of the gas station, only to be caught by the owner, who beat me and angrily asked what I was doing, drawing on somebody else’s wall. I rolled around the floor. Getting hit was something that I was familiar and at the same time, unfamiliar with.

I started graffiti not too long ago. I took a spray can that someone threw away and started drawing on the wall. It was yellow colour. I sprayed it whatever I wanted and then looked up at it. I looked at the distinct yellow colour paint on the grey paint, then picked up another spray can. For a long time, I sprayed unknowingly on the wall. Only when the spray cans were all empty did my hands stop. I threw the can away and stepped back. My breath came as though I had been running with all my might.

I didn’t know what the colours on the wall meant. I didn’t know what I had done or why had I done it. But I had done it. I would assume that what I expressed were my feelings. I spewed out my heart onto the wall. Initially, I thought it was ugly. I thought it was something dirty. Something idiotic, useless and pitiful. I didn’t like it. I rubbed some of the wet paint with my hand. I wanted to erase it all. Yet, instead of erasing it, I ended up mixing and blending the colours and moulded different shapes. I sat against the wall. It wasn’t a matter of whether or not I liked it. It wasn’t a matter of whether it was beautiful or not. It was just me.

When I stood up, I coughed. I spat blood onto my hand. Then I saw someone’s hand picking up the spray can. I followed the hand up until I saw a face. I saw Namjoon Hyung’s face. I laughed. I thought I was seeing a ghost. Hyung reached out a hand. I simply looked up at him. Hyung took my hand and pulled me up. His hand was warm.

Taehyung is seen to be caught to vandalize the walls at the gas station and fortunately for him, Namjoon was there, as always. 

on 7 April however, Jungkook bumps into Yoongi who is still haunted by the piano. 

7 April YEAR 22

I came to a stop after hearing the sound of a piano. The only sound that could be heard at the empty construction site was someone popping an oil drum. I knew the sound of the song that I had just played, but why did I think of that? My drunken footsteps stumbled. I closed my eyes and walked even more carelessly. As the heat of the fire grew stronger, the piano sound, the night air, the drunkenness fading away.

I opened my eyes at the sound of horn as a car grazed dangerously past me. In the confusion of the blazing headlight, the wind of the car’s passing and my drunkenness, I stumbled helplessly. I could hear the curses of the driver. As I came to a stop to curse back, I could no longer hear the sound of the piano. In spite of the sound of the blazing fire, the wind and the silence left after the car, the piano sound was gone. It stopped. Why did it stop? Who was playing the piano?

The sparks from the fire picked up its pace towards the oil barrel with one sound together. I could only look at the scene blankly. My face became flushed. Bang, it was at that moment when I heard a fist slamming on the piano keys. Instinctively, I looked behind. For a moment, my blood rushed that my breathing became uneven. The nightmares that I had when I was young. That was where I heard the sound.  

The next moment, I was running. It wasn’t of my own will that I ran towards the music shop and instinctively looked behind. This was something like I had done numerous times. It was a feeling that I had forgotten something important. 

The music store had a broken window. In front of the piano, someone was sitting there. It had been a few years yet I still recognized the person. The person was crying, fists being clenched. I didn’t want to be concerned with anyone’s life. I didn’t want to comfort anyone who was lonely. I didn’t want to mean anything to someone. I couldn’t protect the person and I had no confidence. Until the end, I had no confidence. I didn’t want to give pain. I didn’t want to receive pain.  

I slowly moved. I wanted to go back but before I know it, I started approaching the person. Just then a wrong note was heard. Jungkook lifted his head and looked at me. “Hyung”. This had been our first meeting since quitting high school.

it seems like this the part in the first love short film, where a car almost crashed into him, instead of the music store having a broken window, Yoongi broke it instead. 

it seems like here, alternatively Jungkook was the one who broke the window first. 

however, there seems to be something happening between Namjoon and Taehyung on this day, based on HYYH: the Notes, V Version

Namjoon 11 April YEAR 22

I was looking for a t-shirt for a while until Taehyung reached for a t-shirt behind me. It was a shirt that had the same printed letters as the one that I was wearing right now. With an awkward laugh, he removed the ripped shirt. In the faint illumination of the lights that hung from the trailer ceiling, I momentarily caught a glimpse of his bruised back. Hoseok looked at me with a shocked expression. Taehyung put on my shirt and looked at his reflection in the dirty mirror. Then he laughed.

“This punk. He arrived late after getting caught by the police for doing graffiti.” I pretended to hit Taehyung and he pretended to be sorry. Yoongi Hyung who had been sitting at the corner of the trailer, slowly approached Taehyung and smacked his shoulder.

so that means Namjoon, Taehyung and Yoongi saw each other on this day; yet no one had the whereabouts of Jungkook. 

yet later on at night, Namjoon bumps into Seokjin. 

11 April YEAR 22

I finished with the gas and went in. But something brushed against my face and fell. Surprised, I took a step backwards to look at it. At the bottom of my feet was a crumpled bill. Out of reflex, I bent down to pick it up. The people in the car burst into laughter. I stopped for a moment. Seokjin Hyung was watching me from a distance. I couldn’t lift my head up. What do you do if you make eye contact with people who ride in expensive cars but put down and ridicule others? You have to face them. If you think what they’re doing is unjust, you have to face them. It’s not a matter of bravery, or pride or equality but it is something that needs to be done.

However, this was a gas station and I’m a part time-worker. If a customer threw trash, I had to clean it up. And if they cursed, I had to listen. And if they threw a bill on the floor, I had to pick it up. My body shook with humiliation. I clenched my fists. My fingernails dug into my skin.

At that moment, someone’s hand picked up the bill. The people in the car muttered and left as if the fun in it was gone. Even after they left, I couldn’t lift my head up. I lacked the confidence to look into Seokjin Hyung’s eyes. It wasn’t as though Hyung didn’t know about my cowardliness, my poverty and my circumstances. I didn’t want to show him this explicitly. Hyung stood at the end of my gaze and didn’t move. Neither did he approach me or did he speak.

this is just like the webtoon itself. the day that Seokjin visited Namjoon in the detention centre was on May 22, but the reason why he was there was the fight between him and a rude customer on April 11 which Seokjin eventually prevented. 

yet on this day when Namjoon is in jail, it meant that Taehyung actually killed his father and he was being arrested. so instead of Taehyung dying, he killed his own father. 

this was in line with Yoongi’s Note from the S version. 

11 April YEAR 22

I kept on walking, though I had a sense that Jungkook was following from a distance. As the train tracks stretched out, containers continued to appear. It’s the 4thcontainer from the back. Hoseok said he had plans to meet with Namjoon and Taehyung, and told me to come too. I told him I would come, but I didn’t really intend to go. I hated getting involved with others and Hoseok knew that. He probably didn’t have any thoughts of me turning up.

When I opened the door, I could see Hoseok’s surprised face. Then he discovered Jungkook and approached him with mixed emotions. I passed by both of them and headed to the container. “How long has it been?” I could hear the sounds of Hoseok trying to pull Jungkook and Jungkook being embarrassed.

I could hear Namjoon bringing Taehyung in. Taehyung’s shirt was torn on one side. When we asked what happened, Namjoon pretended to rap his knuckles against Taehyung. “This brat was late because he was arrested by the police for doing graffiti and I had to go pick him up.” Taehyung made an exaggerated apologetic face and talked animatedly how his shirt was torn when he ran away from the police.

I sat in the corner and watched them. Namjoon gave Taehyung a shirt to change into, Hoseok pulled out hamburgers and drinks. Jungkook being in the middle but was unsure of what to do or where to go. Looking back in high school, this was how it was. In the hideout classroom, Namjoon would give Taehyung a talk, Hoseok would move around noisily while Jungkook would hover, not knowing where to go.

How long has it been since we have gathered. I don’t remember it well. How are Seokjin Hyung and Jimin? A thought unlike of mine came to me. This was a place I had come for the first time, but my heart is already at ease.

the idea of brotherhood being family is being re-established here, knowing that despite your whereabouts, as long as you’re with your family, it’s home and puts you at ease no matter what. 

yet at the same time, the whole scene of Jungkook being at the top relates back here, turns out Jungkook was trying to kill himself after being beaten up by some people he bumped into.

the beginning introduced at the Her Notes, 

11 April YEAR 22

In the end, it turned out just like I wanted. I deliberately ran into the thugs on the street and got beaten up till I was satisfied. I laughed while I was getting beaten up, and they called me a crazy maniac. I leaned against the shutter door and looked at the sky. It was already night. There was nothing in the pitch-black sky. I could only see a clump of grass in the distance. It was on the side of the wind. It was just like me. I felt like I was going to cry so I forced myself to laugh instead.

I closed my eyes and saw my stepfather clear his throat. My stepbrother kicked me and laughed. My stepbrother’s relatives looked elsewhere or began to talk useless things. It was as if I wasn’t there, like my existence didn’t matter. In front of them, my mother was at a loss. I tried to stand up but instead dust rose and I coughed. It hurt as if I had been stabbed at my solar plexus. I went up to the roof of the construction site. The night city stretched out in a terrible colour. I climbed up on the railing with both of my arms stretched out. I had one leg out and I almost lost my balance. I thought I could die with just one step. If I died, it will all end. No one would be sad without me.

Answer Notes: 

11 April YEAR 22

I walked on the top of the railing of the roof top. The building had been abandoned while it was in the middle of its construction. When I stretched out one foot in the air, the darkness engulfed beneath me. The night city spread out hazily below the railings. Neon lights, honking horns and smoking dust swirled in the darkness. For a moment, I felt dizzy. I stretched out my arms to regain my balance. Then I thought. It was only one step. If I took one step, everything would end. I leaned my body more towards the darkness. The darkness that started at the bottom of my feet now came up to devour my body whole. When I closed my eyes, the dizzy city, sounds and fear all disappeared. I stopped breathing. Then, I leaned my body towards the darkness even more. I didn’t have any thoughts. No one came to my mind. I didn’t want to leave anything behind. I wouldn’t remember anything. This was just the end.

At this moment, my phone rang. My senses came back to me as though I woke up from a distant dream. My dulled senses returned immediately. I pulled out my phone. It was Yoongi Hyung.

He wanted everything to end but somehow Yoongi sopped him, just like how Jungkook stopped Yoongi on 2 May. 

but in the webtoon, turns out Seokjin stopped him. 

moreover, it seemed as though in the beginning of the day, there is some relationship with Seokjin as well, based on the HYYH: the Notes, E version.

Seokjin 11 April YEAR 22

I came to the sea alone. The blue, broad sea was one that could be opened whenever in the viewfinder as it always had. It was all the same, the light that sparkled from the water, the wind from the pine forest. The only difference was that I was here alone. As soon as I pressed the shutter, the scenery in front of my eyes flickered, that moment, on that day, 2 years and 10 months before seemed to appear and disappear. That day when we were all sitting in front of the sea. Though we were tired and times were rough, we were together.  I turned the car and stepped on the accelerator. I entered the tunnel and passed by a rest stop. When I reached vicinity of the school that we all attended, I opened the car window. It was a night in spring. The air was warm and the cherry blossoms fluttered in the trees that lined the walls of the school. I left and passed several intersections, made several left and right turns. In the distance, I could see the lights of the gas station where Namjoon works.

here is where Seokjin begins to unravel his mistakes by doing things slightly different as seen in the webtoon. 

yet also, here, Seokjin wakes up and instead of going back to the 11 April, he wakes up to 

11 April YEAR 22

The moment I closed my eyes, it was the 4thApril yet again. I opened the curtain with the glaring sunlight entering the room. When I raised my body, I was overwhelmed and closed my eyes. My surroundings changed to one that was of a reddish image and I saw Taehyung’s appearance. He was standing alone at the top of the observation platform at the beach. That happened on 22 May. It was the past and the future, something that already happened in the past but could still happen in the future. It was at that moment I thought everything was resolved.

I saw Taehyung climbing up the ladder as the sun began to set. The sky was still blue but gradually it began to have a red colour seeping in. When I lifted my head, I saw Taehyung climbing the ladder. When he reached the top, he looked down at us for a moment. Afterwards, he jumped. Just like a bird, like he had wings. Then for one moment, it seemed as if he stopped in the air, just like that the mirror cracked, the wind blew the curtains open and my senses came back.

And just like that, I opened my eyes and it was the 4th April again.

based on the webtoon, Seokjin goes back to the 11 April but here in the Notes, it’s the 4 April, which one is exactly true then? 

if you look here, in the notes from Tear, 

11 April YEAR 22 

With a screech, the car had barely came to a stop. I was so deep in thought that I didn’t see the light changing. Students in familiar uniforms were crossing the street and looking at me through the window. Some people were pointing at me. I forced a smile and bowed my head.  

I knew what I had to do. But I wasn’t unafraid. It was more of could I put an end to all these misfortunes and pain? What is the point of repeating the same failure mean that I wont be able to achieve success? But is it telling me to give up? Is our happiness just a meaningless hope? Uncomfortable thoughts like these raced through my mind.  

At some point, I approached the intersection with a gas station and I could see Namjoon filling up some cars. I took a deep breath and slowly let it out slowly. I could see all of their faces when I tried to recall them one by one – Yoongi, Hoseok, Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook. I changed lanes and then entered the gas station. I didn’t want to give up. Even if there was a 1% chance, I wouldn’t give up. Through the window, I saw Namjoon approach. 

this is when Seokjin knew he had to save them, somehow or rather, he aimed to save 5 of them, all excluding Namjoon from killing themselves etc. at most what happened if Seokjin didnt save Namjoon is that he would end up in jail. 

so this deviates already from the INU timeline in which Namjoon dies at the gas station.

also, if you look at the webtoon, it means on June 12 they went to the beach together, this is before they separated. 

looking at Namjoon’s notes from S version. 

28 April YEAR 22

I knew that something was up with Taehyung for a long time. Even if he pretended occasionally that nothing was wrong, his momentarily actions, expressions or tone would give away his anxiety and the facy that he didn’t know what to do. He was often in and out of the police station and I could see the wounds on his body.  And also, he had nightmares.

The reason why I never really asked, or asked what was going on or telling him to let out everything was because I was waiting for him to do it. On one side, I also doubted if I should be the person to hear his worries. I wanted to be a Hyung to him, I pretended to be an adult, yet, when my friends are having a hard time, I couldn’t protect them. They all looked up to me being an adult yet I am really not an adult. I only hesitated, unable to look directly at what’s in front of me.

Yoongi Hyung died. Taehyung had that nightmare again. I grabbed his shoulders and shook him, he woke up startled and spent a long time sitting and staring into space. He didn’t wipe his tears and mumbled incoherently. He said Yoongi was dead and Jungkook had an accident and I had been caught in a fight. He said that he dream that kind of dream often, that it was so clear that it seemed as if it was real and even this was part of the dream. “Hyung, don’t go anywhere.” Taehyung’s voice wavered anxiously.

this would be in link when Jungkook also wakes up from a nightmare, something similar happened to him that he eventually broke out in a fever as mentioned in the notes. 

on May 2, Yoongi is the one now trying to commit suicide by setting the room on fire but was saved by Jungkook.

on this day, Jungkook tells Namjoon that he wants to be like him but has a nightmare of Yoongi. 

2 May YEAR 22 

I turned my head and was in front of Namjoon Hyung’s container. I opened the door and went in. I gathered the strewn clothes, covered myself in them and bent down. The cold came down on me. My whole body was trembling, I wanted to cry. But no tears came.  

I opened the door to see Yoongi Hyung standing on top of the bed. Flames were coming up from the sheet.  At that moment, my whole body was engulfed in rage and fear that I couldn’t hold back. I wasn’t someone who could speak well. I was slow to express my feelings or to convince someone. Tears welled in my eyes and I coughed yet no words came out. As I ran into the flames, the only words I could spit out in that moment were “We promised to go to the beach together.”  

“Why are you like this? Was it a nightmare?” Someone shook my shoulder and I opened my eyes. It was Namjoon Hyung. I didn’t know why but I felt relieved. Hyung felt my forehead and said I had a fever. Really, that was the case. The inside of my mouth was burning yet I felt unbearably cold. I had a throbbing headache and my throat hurts. I barely managed to eat the medicine that Hyung brought for me. “Sleep more. We’ll talk later.” I nodded my head. Then I said this. “Can I become an adult like Hyung?” Namjoon Hyung looked back. 

on May 10, Hoseok fell on the expressway as such; but he didn't die. 

on 12 May, Hoseok thought he saw his own mother in the hospital as he was being treated for collapsing on the expressway. 

as seen here, and in the webtoon.

12 May YEAR 22

I opened the door of the emergency room and ran down the stairs. My heart was racing as if it was about to explode. The face that I had a glimpse of in the hospital hallway was of my mother’s. At the moment I looked back, the elevator doors opened and people pushed their way out. I pushed desperately among the people. And I saw my mother’s form going into the emergency room doors. Anxiously, I ran down two steps at a time. Without resting, I ran dome several flights.

“Mom!”. My mother stopped. I took another step forward. She turned around. I went down another flight. Her became visible. It was at that moment that my heel of the foot slipped on the edge of the stair and my center of gravity was pushed forward. I closed my eyes tight, bracing myself that I was going to fall flat on my face. Someone grabbed my arm, and thanks to that person, I narrowly avoided the fall and regained my balance. When I looked back, I saw Jimin standing there with a shocked expression. Before I could even say thank you, I turned my head again.

A woman was there. She looked surprised. Next to her was a young boy, staring at me and blinking with his big eyes. She isn’t my mother. I stood at the top of the stairs, blankly staring at the woman’s face.

I couldn’t remember what I said to escape that situation. I also didn’t ask how Jimin appeared there in the first place. My mind was too cluttered to be concerned about the small details. The woman wasn’t my mother. I might even have known that from the start. It had been more than ten years since she had left me alone at the theme park. My mother would have been older by now, and different from what I remembered. Even if I met her, I wouldn’t recognize her. No, by now, I could barely even remember her face.

I looked back. Jimin was following me in silence. Back in high school, after we parted ways in the emergency room, Jimin said he had to stay in the hospital. I thought of how he looked as if he didn’t know what to do when asked if he wanted to get out of the hospital. Couldn’t it be Jimin was trapped just like I was, unable to cling or break away from memories that bind us? I took a step towards him.

“Jimin-ah, let’s get out of here.”

so this is how Jimin and Hoseok got out of the hospital and somehow reunited with the rest of the boys. 

on May 15, it seemed that the boys visited Jimin in the hospital, probably because he was hospital bound and couldnt leave and so they stuck to playing in the hospital’s cafeteria. but eventually as seen here, they all left the hospital. 

15 May YEAR 22

When I opened my eyes, Hoseok Hyung was standing there. The familiar ceiling looked down at me with a familiar darkness. Startled, I tried to sipt up but he placed a finger on his lips. Everyone was sleep, my surroundings were quiet. Hyung immediately offered me a T-shirt, jerking his chin toward the exit of the hospital.

“We all came together” He mentioned that Namjoon Hyung was standing guard while Yoongi Hyung was buying time with the nurses. Jungkook and Taehyung would join us at the elevator in no time. At first, I couldn’t understand what he was saying. Hyung reached out a hand to me, while I was still in a daze.

The day I left the hospital. I had dreamt of that day sometimes. I wanted to leave the hospital and meet my friends. To spend some time with them laughing and talking the way we used to before. But now I didnt know. Was it a good idea to leave? My parents actually hid me in this place and pretended that I was someone who didn’t exist. People whispered I had a mental illness. I don’t know if Hoseok Hyung thought the same. Maybe he thought I was strange, that spending time with me made him uncomfortable.

“Come on, we don’t have time.” Maybe because of Hyung’s urging, the sound of the clock’s second hand sounded weirdly fast. Thump. Thump. The sound of footsteps, like an auditory hallucination, came closer and closer to the hospital room. Hyung and I turned simultaneously to look at the door, then looked at each other. Hyung’s hand was still in front of me.

this is how Jimin got out of the hospital despite being placed there by his own parents hence the story continues into 16 May. 

the reason for Jimin being in the hospital was because of the incident that happened in the flower arboretum when he was young but of course the webtoon didnt specify the events that occurred but there was a pool of blood. 

16 May is when Jimin visits Hoseok’s house which is very high. 

Jimin 16 May YEAR 22

Hoseok Hyung’s house was actually quite high. A rooftop room of a deadlocked house at the end of a narrow, winding alley, some distance from a long street; that was Hyung’s house. When I entered the house, which was just one room, Hyung bragged that it was the top floor in the whole city; from which all the places that we have grown up from could be seen, laid down below our feet. Hyung said that there is so many things to see from this rooftop room. The nearby train station could be seen, and along the train tracks, the containers were also visible, Namjoon Hyung was living in one of those. If I look a little more, the school that we all attend would appear.

After finding the school, I lifted my head and looked at the other side of the city. At the foot of the mountain, there were some large apartment buildings. Right there, that’s my house, no, that’s my parent’s house. I didn’t tell anyone that I ran away from the hospital. If I did, they would have called my parents. Right now, maybe, I don’t know, they might be looking for me. I don’t have the confidence to see them face-to-face. Though I came out of the hospital, there is no way that I’m going home. Even as such, I have no desire to go back to the hospital. But I had nowhere to go and had no money. I stood hesitantly, before Hyung told me to follow him, leading the way, and how we arrived at this place – his house.

My eyes looked back to the apartment houses again. I didn’t want to meet my parents or go back to the hospital even though eventually I had to. I took a deep breath in. It seemed like a thought alone could cause a seizure. Truthfully, I didn’t trust myself enough to endure any other place other than the hospital. I could be rushed to the hospital again. I was so afraid, I couldn’t stand it.

this is how the boys met up after a while, sort of being reunited by Seokjin, and looks like Yoongi knows Jimin’s discomfort about the flower arboretum. 

19 May YEAR 22 

In the end, we went to the flower arboretum. I lied that I don’t remember what happened at that place but I had to quit lying. I had to stop hiding in the hospital and having seizures. If I wanted to do that, I had to go to that place. With that in mind, I went to the bus stop every day yet I couldn’t ride the bus to go to the flower arboretum.  

Yoongi hyung came and sat down next to me after 3 buses passed by. I asked him what he was up to, but he shrugged and said that he was bored and had nothing to do. Then he asked why was I sitting here. I lowered my head and kicked the dirt with my shoes. I asked myself why was I sitting here in the first place. I had no courage. Now I wanted to be fine, I wanted to pretend that I knew a bit, to surpass it on my own, yet in reality, I was afraid. I was scared that I might see something, I couldn’t withstand against it, that I might have another seizure. 

Yoongi hyung looked relaxed. 

as mentioned this could be why the pairing of Jimin and Yoongi came about. ( read theory here )

now moving on to May 20, it seemed as though Taehyung had an outburst. this was from Hoseok’s notes in Tear album. 

20 May YEAR 22 

I took Taehyung and stood facing the police officer. “You’ve worked hard.” Though it was hard to say with my head hung low, it wasn’t that feeling. The police station wasn’t that far from Taehyung’s house. If he lived in the same far-off place, would Taehyung have not been in and out of the police station often. Why had Taehyung’s parents chose a place so near to the police station? Why was the world unfair to such a foolishly kind and good kid. I slung my arm around Taehyung’s shoulders and asked if he was hungry, acting as if nothing much happened. Taehyung shook his head. I asked if he was glad that the police bought him food yet he didn’t answer.  

We walked in the sunlight. In my heart, a cold wind blew. If I feel this way, how would he feel. How torn and broken in his heart? Did he even have any heart left at all? How much torment must be inside? Thinking of all these thoughts, I couldn’t look at him and so I looked at the sky. In the blurry sunlight, an airplane flew past. The first time I had seen Taehyung’s wounds was when he was in Namjoon’s container hideout. I didn’t say anything to Taehyung, who was laughing brightly for getting a t-shirt yet there was a thud in my heart.  

I don’t have any parents. I don’t even have any memory of my father and only up till I was 7 years old did I have any memory of my mother. When it came to pain regarding families, nobody was jealous of me. People told me this. That you have to overcome the pain, accept it and grow accustomed to it. That you have to reconcile to forgive. Only when this is done, you are able to live. It wasn’t that I couldn’t do it because I didn’t know. It wasn’t a refusal since I hated it. Nothing was achieved since I didn’t try. No one told me how to do it. The world gave me new wounds before my old wounds healed. I knew that there wasn’t anyone in the world who didn’t have wounds. But why did anyone need deep ones? Why were they needed? Why did things happen this way? 

“Hyung. I’m fine, I can go by myself.” Taehyung said at the fork of the road. “I know, jerk,” I didn’t pay attention and took the lead. “Really, I’m fine. Look at me, it’s nothing.” Taehyung tried to smile. I didn’t answer him. He wasn’t fine. He wasn’t okay but he couldn’t stand acknowledging it. He was turning away. That was his habit. He flipped up his hood and followed. “Are you really not hungry?” I asked as we were nearing his house. Taehyung smiled his foolish smile and nodded. I watched his retreating back and turned away. The paths that we both walked were narrow and desolate. We were both alone. I suddenly turned to look behind me when my phone rang. 

this reminds me of Euphoria in which Taehyung and Hoseok are in the room. this is probably after his outburst with his father. 

further continuation of Taehyung’s notes are here. 

20 May YEAR 22 

I looked down at my hand. It was stained with blood. Suddenly, my legs had no strength. I started to collapse but someone grabbed me from behind. Murky sunlight was shining through the window. Noona was crying and Hoseok Hyung was standing there without saying anything. The dirty household goods and blanket remained as they were. There was no one there where my father stood. I couldn’t recall how or when he had left the room.  

The rage and sadness of when I attacked him was still in me. I didn’t know what held me back from stabbing him. I didn’t how to comfort my crazy heart. I didn’t want to kill my father, I wanted to die. In that moment, I just wanted to die. I couldn’t cry. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, I wanted to kick and destroy and ruin things yet I didn’t do any one of them. 

“Hyung. I’m sorry. I’m okay, so just go,” My voice came out unsteady with how my mad heart is beating. It didn’t seem like my voice. I sent Hoseok Hyung away even though he didn’t want to leave and stared down at my hands. Blood is seeping through the white bandage. Instead of stabbing my father, I fell to the floor with the alcohol bottle. The bottle had shattered and cut my hand. I closed my eyes, yet the world started spinning. What should I think and what should I do to live. When I came to my senses, I was looking down at Namjoon Hyung’s phone number. Even in this case, no, because I was in this situation, I valued his existence so much more. I wanted to talk to him. Hyung. I almost killed my father, the father who raised me, my father who beats me up everyday. No, actually, I killed him. I killed him so many times. In my heart, I killed him so many times. I wanted to die. I really wanted to kill him. I don’t know what to do now, I don’t know. Hyung. I just wanted to see you. 

it seemed like here Taehyung didnt kill his dad, so it doesn't follow the I Need U timeline but rather the Euphoria one instead. hence why Hoseok and Taehyung are paired up as well, coincidence or not. ( read theory here )

now continuing on to May 22 when Taehyung was meant to jump, he had a fall out with Namjoon as seen from the notes in Her. 

22 May YEAR 22

I passed by a pine tree forest as Hyung picked up a phone call and started to lag behind. Nowadays, there were more times like this. He moved far away so that he could pick up the call where others couldn’t eavesdrop. I deliberately slowed down ad hid myself off towards the ocean. Hyung wouldn’t be able to see me when he passed by. “He’s only one year younger than me. No, I don’t really care. Anyway, I’m not going to be the one taking the responsibility, just do whatever is best.”

Something cold slithered down my spine. It felt as if everything in the world crumbled and crashed with a bang. It felt as if I was floating alone in the deep ocean. It was scary and frightening. I was miserable and insignificant. I was angry. I couldn’t contain my anger. I wanted to cause a scene. I wanted to smash something, to hit something, to wreck myself. I was always afraid. That my father’s blood would run in me. I thought that maybe his violence was what I inherited. It seemed that something was stabbing my tight defenses.

Taehyung here felt betrayed but this could lead up to the next part as seen below. 

the before events were seen in Namjoon’s ones from tear album.

22 May YEAR 22 

“It’s barely a year age gap difference. No, who said it? I am the Hyung. I know. But he won’t forever be young. I’m asking if it isn’t it about time he knows something. I get it. No, I am not mad. I’m sorry.”  

I ended the call and looked down at the floor. A sad ocean breeze swept through the pine forest. My chest was stifled that it felt that it might explode. On the ground, half of it was sand and half of it was dirt, some ants formed a line and were heading elsewhere, To someone who was greater than me, both physically and symbolically, would it be clear of where I was going, why I was going and how it would turn out?  

It wasn’t that I didn’t love my parents. It wasn’t that I didn’t worry for my younger sibling. I wanted to turn away if I could, but since I couldn’t do anything but be myself, I wasn’t able to. And so, what’s the point in struggling or being angry, frustrated or wanting to leave?  

I could see the back of someone’s back, standing rooted to the ground just like me. It was Jungkook. At some point, Jungkook said this. “Hyung, I want to be an adult like Hyung.” At that time, I couldn’t say anything. I wasn’t an adult that I was proud of, no, I am not an adult. Saying something like that was cruel. To someone who has yet to receive the trust, interest and affection that he naturally should have, how could I say that getting older, growing taller and living a little more doesn’t make one an adult. I hoped Jungkook’s future would be more kinder than mine, but I couldn’t promise that I could be of help to him along the way. I approached him and slung my arm around his shoulder. Jungkook lifted his eyes and looked at me. 

Namjoon’s notes are always more abstract for some reason i have no idea why. hence why Jungkook and Namjoon are paired as well. ( read theory here )

on May 22 is when by right Taehyung jumps and looking to the events in the day it continues the one from the Euphoria, the whole time I suspected it to be Jungkook to be the one saying it to Seokjin but it seems like Taehyung is the one who was saying it as seen here. the reason why I suspected Jungkook saying it was due to his accident that Seokjin would eventually cause. 

22 May YEAR 22

“Hyung, is that everything? Are you hiding anything else from us?” Our surroundings suddenly grew quiet. Everyone’s gaze turned towards me. I looked straight at Seokjin Hyung. Hyung, too, looked back at me. His gaze was full of exhaustion and shame, and a little bit of pitiful. The moment that I was about to bring up the issue, someone grabbed my arm. I didn’t need to look. I knew it was Namjoon Hyung.

“Hyung, what does it have to do with you? We’re not even real brothers.” I could feel Namjoon Hyung looking at me. I didn’t lift my head and shook his hand off. I knew it too. I was mad at Namjoon Hyung for no reason, repeating the same words that he used when he was on the phone. I said I was angry, that I was upset. Yet, Hyung’s words weren’t wrong. I am barely a year younger than him. I wasn’t his real brother. It was true that I should take care of myself. Regardless, I was upset. I was angrier because I had no words to use against him. I wished Hyung would have understood what I felt.

“Taehyung-ah, I’m sorry. Let’s not talk about this now.” It was Seokjin Hyung who opened his mouth. Seokjin Hyung was the one who called my name, Namjoon Hyung didn’t say anything. “What do you mean, stop? Since it’s already up, let’s talk about it. Hyung, there is still something you’re hiding from us.”

“Let’s go out to talk.” Namjoon Hyung said while he grabbed my arm. I tried to shake him off again but he tried to drag me out. I tried to hold out and spoke. “Let me go. What right to you have to stop me? Hyung, what do you know? You don’t know anything but you think you’re a great guy, right?” It was then then he let go of my arm. When he let go made me stumble. No, it wasn’t just him letting go that made e stumble. But at that time when he did, it was like as if everything that sustained me were cracking, breaking and crumbling down. Maybe I hoped he never let go of my arm. That instead, he would get angry and drag me out. Maybe I hoped that he would scold me like a real brother, as if to someone who was so close and precious that you can’t ignore.

But Hyung let go of my arm. I just laughed. “What’s so special about being together? What are we to each other? In the end, we’re all alone.” That was the moment that Seokjin Hyung hit me.

now looking at the ending, this is where the whole outburst between Seokjin and Taehyung started and though the BST Jp isn't part of the timeline, I believe you should include it in to make sense as to why Seokjin even punched him in the face. 

if only Taehyung knew that only by being together could Seokjin stop all of them from dying but I guess somethings are left to be untold, hence the truth untold maybe. 

on May 31, Hoseok after dancing had a slight trauma etc 

Hoseok 31 May YEAR 22

I reflexively turned my gaze away from the breathtaking wind. After dancing for a long time, often, I am out of breath but it is not that context. I thought I was similar to my mother. No, it wasn’t a thought or a perception, it couldn’t be described or explained. I couldn’t look at the face of my friend that I had known for 10 years already. We learned dance together, failed together, been frustrated and gained strength together. We slumped to the floor that was covered in sweat, we threw towels at each other and cracked jokes. It felt like a bothering sensation that I hadn’t felt in a while, and I hurriedly stood up. As soon as I reached the corner, I leaned back against the wall and stood there. I made an effort to calm my breathing. I could hear, “Where are you going, Hoseok-ah?” The voice. Nevertheless, I thought it could have been a voice. The voice calling, “Hoseok-ah”. A voice that I couldn’t recall now. It was a voice that brought me back to when I was nine years old.

here, it seemed as though Hoseok is out of the hospital but it follows that of the highlight reel in which he and the girl are practicing to which later on the other notes mentioned that how Jimin isn't in the hospital anymore but is out dancing and that he is jealous of Hoseok. 

right now, I am just disregarding all those that happened before YEAR 22 because they all just give background information on each of the boys and as to why they behave and act as such, so please take this into caution. 

time to look at the notes from Her album, 

Yoongi 8 June YEAR 22

I took off my t-shirt again. I looked in the mirror and it was not like me at all. The cotton shirt that was not my type had the word ‘Dream’ on it. No matter how you look at it, the red colour, the word, dream, the shirt didn’t fit me at all. Out of frustration, I pulled a cigarette and looked for my lighter. Since it wasn’t in the back pocket of my jeans, I looked inside my bag. (They) took it away. (They) took it from my hands without any constraint. (They) threw back to me were candy bars and this t-shirt.  

I messed up my hair and stood up when I heard the sound of a message. My heart began to beat faster as at the moment, my hand phone screen lit up brightly with a name that was 3 syllabuses. I broke my cigarette to check the message. In the next moment, I was laughing at the mirror. Wearing the tight t-shirt that had ‘Dream’ written on it, the red colour, I must have looked like an idiot.

I'm assuming this is the period that Yoongi goes into rehab for being an arsonist by setting himself on fire, or at least attempted to but somehow was saved by Seokjin. 

based on the notes in Tear, 

Yoongi 15 June YEAR 22 

I wasn’t aware of what is happening but just the sound of music playing in my head. No matter how much alcohol I drink, or where I am, what I am doing is more important. If you want to know, it isn’t important. With faltering steps, I went out into the night. Just walking among the dust. Be it on the street, the street stall or the wall, I hit it. It didn’t matter. I just wanted to forget everything.  

Jimin’s voice was still ringing in my ears. “Hyung. It’s Jungkook.” The next thing I remembered was going up the stairs in the hospital as if I was mad. It was a dark and weird pathway towards the north of the hospital. People who were wearing patient gowns walked past. My heart was racing. Everyone’s faces were pale. They had no facial expression. They all seemed as though they were dead. In my head, my breathing became more ragged.  

I opened the door of the ward where Jungkook was lying down in slightly. I, myself, don’t know why but I turned my head away with a jerk. I couldn’t look at him. In that moment, I could hear the sounds of the piano, fire, the collapse of the building into pieces. I couldn’t even stick it up for him. I then thought,”It was because of me. If I wasn’t there, this wouldn’t have happened.” It was my mother’s voice, no, my voice, no, it was anybody’s voice. I couldn’t say anything during that painful time. I didn’t want to believe it. But then, Jungkook was lying down there. He was lying down with patients who looked dead passing by. I just couldn’t go inside. I couldn’t even confirm it. When I stood, my legs wanted to give up. I left with tears streaming down my face. I forced myself to laugh. I couldn’t even remember the last time I cried.  

As I crossed the pedestrian crossing, someone grabbed my arm and I stopped. Who was it? No, it didn’t matter. Whoever it was, it was all over. “Don’t come to my side. Go. Please just throw me away. I also don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to be hurt. And so, please don’t come near me.”

here, Yoongi blames himself for the cause of Jungkook’s accident so it seems as though the accident with Seokjin was one on 11 April, but Jungkook got into another one later on in June, beyond what possibly Seokjin could control. so technically, Seokjin didnt cause this accident. 

the person who grabbed his arm is the girl that he spends time with in the highlight reel, the whole pedestrian scene being protagonist here. 

for Taehyung, the idea of the girl following him based on the highlight reel could be seen here. 

Taehyung 25 June YEAR 22

I deliberately delayed my steps as I sensed to the small steps that was following me. This was the 3rdtime already at the convenience store. If there was something different, it was that today they ran away when they saw me. They hung around a vacant spot behind the convenience store but as I turned up, they hid themselves again. They hid themselves well but their shadows were reaching to the front of the store. I let out a laugh. I pretended that I didn’t see but they began to follow me.

I entered a narrow alley. This is the only place in the neighbourhood without a broken streetlamp. The alley was long and the streetlamp was somewhere in the middle with my shadow stretching. The shadow now stretches behind me. It could have been stretching all the way to the person who was following me with ragged breath. I started walking a little bit faster. As I passed the streetlamp, my shadow disappeared beneath my feet. Not long after, a shadow that wasn’t mine appeared on the cement floor. I stopped walking and so did the movements. The two shadows of different heights stopped side by side.

I said, “I’m going to wait until you come here.” The shadow behind me leaped out of shock. Then it became still as if it wasn’t here. “I can see everything.” I pointed to the shadow. The footsteps became nearer and deliberately were noisy. I laughed.

the scene of her following Taehyung wherever they went, from one meeting at the convenience store to that at the train tracks. interesting that Taehyung has a keen eye on his surroundings. 

Namjoon 30 June YEAR 22

I looked a bit strange as I pushed the open button of the door as if my own hands had a will of their own. There are these kind of moments. Moments that I felt have repeated for numerous times, though it was the first. The elevator door close before they opened again for people to push their way in. Among them, I looked for the person who tied her hair with a yellow rubber band. I didn’t press the button knowing that the person would be there, but I thought the person would certainly be there. I moved back, one step at a time. When my back hit the cold elevator wall, I looked up and saw the yellow rubber band.

A person’s back tells a lot of stories. I had known a few of them. There were some that I could guess yet there were some that were left alone after everything is over. I thought that you know someone when you can read everything just from his back. Then, wouldn’t there be someone who would know me just from reading my back? As I lifted my head, our gazes met in the mirror. In a flash, she avoided my eyes. This kind of thing happens often. When I lifted my head again, I only saw my face. I couldn’t see my back.

here, I'm not sure why Namjoon even mentioned this, just like what I explained in 1984, i guess he is talking about body language. i figure the back is somewhat by being able to read it, means you've known what the person is really feeling, in a way to say that the person let his guard down unknowingly. 

continuing from the Hoseok story on 31 May, it is clearly seen on 3 July, Jimin dances together with him and some sort of rivalry forms but has also been extended to the girl that they both like based on the highlight reel.

Jimin 3 July YEAR 22

In the end, I sprawled onto the floor. I turned off the music and my surroundings went quiet, all I could hear was the beating of my heart. I pulled out my hand phone and played the choreography dance video that I had learned in the morning. Hyung’s movements were so smooth and accurate in the video.  That was the result of his countless hours and sweat of practicing, and now since I wasn’t anywhere near as him, I was jealous. However, understanding and hoping are different and so I sighed often. Again I stood up. I imitated the turn as he had done it but I kept twisting my steps. I kept on making mistakes at the parts where we have to match the flow. We decide to match again tomorrow but until then I wanted to be seen as serious. Rather that a playful phrase, I wanted to be complimented as ‘better than expected’, I wanted to be recognized as someone who was equal and serious, one that could match with hyung.

in the HYYH Tear notes, Hoseok‘s notes come about and it’s about the girl agin in the highlight reel. 

Hoseok 4 July YEAR 22 

I was standing in the hallway the whole time she was receiving first aid. Though it was in the middle of the night, there were many people hovering around. I was soaked to the skin by the rain and my own sweat that  my hair was dripping with it. I shook off the sweat and rain off my hair and put down the bag that was with her. A diversity of things came out tumbling out of it. Coins rolled onto the floor, even a ballpen and a towel fell out. In the middle, there was a airplane e-ticket. I picked it up and read it briefly.  

Then, the doctor called me. He told me that she had a mild concussion and that it’s nothing to worry a lot about. Soon later, she came out as well. “Are you alright?” She said that her head hurt slightly and she took her bag from me. She saw that the e-ticket was peeking out and looked at my face. I changed the strap of my bag slung onto my shoulder and pretended that I didn’t see anything and said that we should go. It has been raining for some time already when we came to the front door. I stood at the front of the door.  

“Hoseok-ah”. She called me. Her facial expression told me that she wanted to say something. “Let’s wait a while. I’ll buy an umbrella.” I recklessly ran into the rain. There was a convenience store far off in the distance. I knew that for some time ago she entered an overseas dance team audition. The airplane ticket meant that she made it. I didn’t want her to say it. I didn’t have the confidence to congratulate her. 

this was like in the highlight reels where Hoseok carried her in the rain while Jimin suffered when he scraped himself against the nail.

on this day as mentioned, Jimin comes into play as well. 

Jimin 4 July YEAR 22 

By the time I came back to my senses, I washed my arm so much that I was losing skin. My hands trembled and I was out of breath. Blood ran down my arm. Looking at the mirror, my eyes were bloodshot. The incident came back to my in fragments.  

In that moment, I lost my focus. It was during the dance when I wanted to match the dance with Noona from a dance club that I lost my flow and collided into her. I fell to the rough floor and my arm started to bleed. I suddenly remembered what happened at the flower arboretum. I thought I had overcome it. But then, that wasn’t the case. I only ran away. I had to wash it away. I had to look away. The me in the mirror was the same 8-year old me who ran away in the rain. Then I realized it. Noona fell down as well.  

There wasn’t anyone in the practice room. I saw the door open ajar with the rain falling outside. I could see Hoseok hyung running. The rain was pouring onto him. I ran after them with an umbrella. I ran. In the end, I stopped and stood there. 

I couldn’t do anything. All I could was fall and hurt someone, leave them behind with a part of my pain and then run after them too late before stopping. I turned around. Every time I took a step, rain water soaked my sneakers. Car headlights passed me. I wasn’t okay. No, I am fine. I wasn’t in pain. This much isn’t an injury. I was really fine. 

this was a trauma that Jimin encountered that brought him back to his 8 year old self, the whole reason why he was being kept in the hospital by his parents for years. 

yet what happened at the flower arboretum is still unknown. 

so next is Namjoom, it seems like he follows the girl closely as such based on the notes, 

Namjoon 13 July YEAR 22 

I leaned against the window of the bus. From the library to the gas station. The familiar scenery passing by the window since I take this route everyday. Will the day come for me to leave this scenery behind? I felt that it was impossible to predict what tomorrow would bring. 

In the distance in front of me, I could see a lady wearing a yellow hair tie. Her shoulders liften and dropped as though she exhaled. She also leaned against the window. It has already been a month since we studied at the library and took the same bus from the station. We hadn’t spoken a word to each other, but we look at the same scenery together, lived in the same time and sighed the same sighs. The hair tie was still in my pants’ pocket.  

The lady always dropped off three stations before me. I always wondered whether she would be distributing flyers there. What kind of things does she spend her time doing, what are the things that she’s enduring? How much has she been thinking that tomorrow might not come, or that from the beginning, there was never such a thing called ‘tomorrow’? These are what I thought about.  

The station that the lady would drop by was approaching. Someone pressed the stop button and other passengers got up from their seats. However, in the midst of this, the lady didn’t move.  Her head was just still against the window at where she sat. Time still passed. I went to get closer to her. In that moment, I was conflicted. The bus stop came near. The lady was still as how she was in the beginning. People got off the bus. The doors closed and the bus began to take off.  

It has passed 3 bus stops but I didn’t want to wake her up. As I moved to the exit of the bus, I fought with myself again. It was clear that if I got off, no one would pay attention to her. She would wake up somewhere far from her stop and that it would be much more tiring today for her because of it.  

I dropped off from the bus and the scent of the gas station started to waft through the air. The bus took off and I didn’t want to look back. I left the hair tie on top of her bag. That wasn’t the start but it wasn’t the end either. From the beginning, nevertheless, there was no whatsoever reason. I just thought that nevertheless, it didn’t matter. 

personally I find Namjoon’s notes the most confusing one as there is barely much relation to the storyline as such. 

his character development throughout the timeline wasn't much, it wasn't deeply explained unlike the others. 

moving on, based on these notes, it is true that Jungkook was hit by the car since he ended up in the hospital and assuming that he was hit on April 11, it is possible that he was hospitalized for longer periods of time. 

Jungkook 16 July YEAR 22

I stood at the window and sang a bit to the song playing in my earphones. It has already been a week. Now I don’t need to see the lyrics to sing along. I took out one side of my earphones so that I could practice listening to my own voice. (someone) said that they liked it because it was beautiful but it only made me scratch my head in embarrassment. The July sunshine entered the big window. The green leaves of the trees flew and shone in the wind and everytime it fell on my face, it felt different. I closed my eyes. I sang while looking at the yellow, blue and green colours behind my eyes. Whether it was the lyrics or the sunshine, something tickled and stung my heart.

based on these research, it is typical that any car accident patient would sustain injuries depending on severity etc, but clearly Seokjin did manage to save him in a way that Jungkook doesn't die but is still alive and is hospitalized.

on 17 July, it’s like the highlight reels here. 

Taehyung  17 July YEAR 22 

My side hurt so bad that it felt as if it was torn. Sweat trickled down my face. The corners of the railroad tracks, the vacant lot behind the convenience store, at the upper road – she was nowhere to be seen. Though I came behind the bus stop, of course, she wouldn’t be there. The commuters who were waiting for the bus were looking at me weirdly. What could I do? We didn’t promise to meet, but it was strange. She was always making appearances from somewhere and followed me around. Even calling her annoying was useless. Yet, the places that we went together, she wasn’t there.  

I stopped walking upon the front of a familiar wall. This was where we did graffiti together. This was her first drawing. On top of it, there was a large X mark over it. It was her. There was no way I saw her do it, but I knew it was her. Why? I don’t have an answer. Instead, several after-images that were scary overlapped on the wall.  

She laughed at me on the day when I hit my head against the railroad tracks as I lied down. Her helping me up as I helped her run away, her angry face when I stole and ate her bread. Her solemn expression when we passed by a photo studio with a family portrait in the front window. Her gaze on the students that we passed by, even she was oblivious to it. This wall was where we sprayed together as I said this. “If you have a problem, tell me. Don’t grumble about it to yourself.” This X was drawn all over these memories. It seemed to say that it was all fake. That it was all lies. Without even realizing it, I made my hands into fists. Why? Of course, I didn’t have an answer. I walked back. I was alone again. Me, and her.

the scene of the railroad tracks etc and running away from the police would happen later on

Namjoon 20 July YEAR 22

I skimmed across the magazine advertisements and lifted my head. There were so many different faces of those who sat at the corner table the last few days across me. A thick book, large bag and a white paper cup alike but it still wasn’t her. Again, I went back to skimming the magazines. I had been looking at the same page for more than an hour. Because of the repetitive thoughts, my eyes couldn’t pick up the letters at all. I asked myself why am I sitting here. No answer came to me. Amongst those who were engrossed in something, I was lethargically looking through a magazine. I felt impatient for something to start. This isn’t how it is meant to be.

I returned the magazine and continued to walk across the bookshelves The books were in rows on bookshelves taller than I was. From the open window, a breeze blew, the smell of books wafting and the dust hovering. I thought about my high school years again. My friends and I, together, in that hideout classroom. At that time, it smelled the same. Had the ‘Current Me’ grow from the “Then Me’? I couldn’t be sure of it. Regardless, it could be that everything of me had stopped at that time since back then. I moved to the opposite bookshelf. I picked up a book I used to study back then. I had to start again. From everything I had given up, one at a time.

Namjoon’s notes were always more self reflective on himself, it wasn’t so much about how the story line went as in the universe of the HYYH. 

Jungkook 26 July YEAR 22  

Quietly, I plucked a flower from the hospital’s flower bed. Every time, laughter comes out from the head that was bent down. The sunshine was shining so bright that it hurts the eyes. Though I knocked the hospital ward’s door, there was no answer. I knocked again, this time, it opened a bit. Inside the ward, there was just a sheet. And, there was no one there. There was just a very quiet and dark bed. I left the hospital room. That was where I met her personally when I was bored and was pushing my wheelchair in the hallway. She appeared so suddenly that I barely had time to stop. When I left the hospital, I saw a bench. I remembered that whenever we were together, we would sit and listen to music and even draw. We even drank strawberry milk together at the rooftop. I was still holding the flower from earlier but now I had no one to give it to. 

here Jungkook is trying to find the girl that he befriended in the hospital but of course to no avail, she wasn't there anymore. what happened to her remains a mystery, not sure if it is crucial or not. 

Jimin’s notes follow next. 

Jimin 28 July YEAR 22

Today, I am left alone in the practice room. It was past twelve and the trains would have stopped running. Actually, I was waiting for the trains to stop running. That way, I could be left completely alone in the practice room. When we practiced together, my eyes were only focused on the areas where I lacked. That’s why I was restless, I was afraid. Yet, no matter what, I wanted to do it. So I stayed by myself every night.

As my days were spent like this, interestingly, the fear in my heart disappeared. Only the truth of dancing being fun remained. For a long time, I believed that the small, weak and powerless me was real. When I danced, I ended up thinking of my weight of my body or the length of my arms, speed or strength that I could make. When I danced, I didn’t feel small or weak. My skills improved greatly as much as I have practiced. The movements that had been stuttering at first were now being connected. I have grown. Even if the growth was as a fingernail, but I was still growing. I became aware that I was in reality, a talkative person. I knew that. When I danced, I was able to speak whatever I couldn’t say or hadn’t said. When I started to dance, for the first tine, I started to like myself.

Seems like this follows in suit to the highlight reels. 

Taehyung’s notes brings us back to his vandalism endeavors but now related to the girl as seen in the highlight reel.

Taehyung 11 August YEAR 22

As I turned around, I discovered some words underneath the ‘X’. It was a short sentence scratched onto the wall, saying ‘It wasn’t my fault.”. It was that kid. I didn’t see her, nor did I know her handwriting but somehow I knew. It looked her last greeting. Saying that her leaving wasn’t because of me. That the things that made her ‘fall’ was not because I was a bad person. It seemed like it was telling me not to blame myself or to be hung up on it, but instead to have courage.

When I finally got back to my senses, I was in front of my house. From the outside the door, I could hear Noona’s scream. I flung it open and entered. A familiar scene was laid out. I blocked my father. I grabbed his arm and look right at his face. Initially, he seemed to be shocked, but then he swing his fist. This is not the first time that I was knocked out. Noona’s crying became louder. My chin hurt.  The smell of dusty metal came from my own mouth. Yet, I didn’t give up. I grabbed my father’s waist. He gave off an angry scream. He mercilessly hit my back and shoulders but all the more I held on to him even tighter.

It wasn’t that it didn’t hurt. It wasn’t that I wasn’t scared. But if I let go, the same daily cycle would repeat. I wanted it to be different. I wanted to change it.

No. I’m different from my father. I’m going to protect our family.

It seems that Taehyung is trying to break the cycle of his abusive father, remember how he had his outbursts in the earlier months of April and May etc. not sure if this is after Taehyung killed his father or if he didnt even kill his own father hence either the I Need U timeline or the Euphoria timeline.  

on this day, Jungkook is also a crucial character. 

Jungkook 11 August YEAR 22

When I looked back, the hospital is really far away. I could no longer see the bench where I had left the wildflowers, neither could I see the window through wish I watched the river with the kid. As I reflected, that kid was a space for me to breathe in this stuffy hospital life. As we set on the hospital bench in the late afternoon talking about this and that, the sun had set. I told her about playing in the hideout classroom, going on a vacation to the beach and walking all the way up till the train station. She told me about all of the corners in the hospital , which window that you can see the river from, which staircase you could use to secretly climb up to the roof. There was nothing she didn’t know about the hospital.

Her hospital room was empty. Had she been discharged, or moved to another hospital? I asked the nurses. But none of them could tell me. For some reason, a corner of my heart felt empty. I turned around and just kept walking. From a distance, I could see the school. It seemed like most of the things I talked to her about was involved the Hyungs, and almost every single story started with them. To me, when I was alone, the Hyungs became my friends and family and teachers. My story was within their stories, and I only existed inside a relationship with them.

Yet, at some point, I started to think as such. That there may be a day where they would no longer be at my side. I might go looking for them to find out they’re gone, without any reason. Or maybe something even more could happen, I didn’t know.

I thought of that night. When the huge moon rose in the sky, the world turned upside-down, the headlamps I saw from an inverted view, the shape of the car that passed by me and eventually disappeared. The sound of the engine, which was familiar to me for some reason. I didn’t want to jump into conclusions. But even so, I just kept thinking of that moment.

following these notes would mean that Seokjin was the one who did end up colliding into him but not enough to kill him, and if assuming from this loophole that Jungkook didnt die entirely, guess Seokjin decided to crash into him to give some minor injuries and not entirely enough to kill him hence altering the timeline after all. 

looking at Hoseok’s S version of the notes. 

Hoseok 13 August YEAR 22

Jimin and the kid was standing in the middle of the practice room. The 5-second wait after the beginning pose always seemed long. As soon as the music flowed from the speaker, the two of them started the first move. It was the choreography that I had practiced with the kid not too long ago. I sat on the floor of the room and monitored.

When I first found out that I couldn’t dance for the time being, because of my ankle, it had been really difficult. It was suffocating that I could only watch others dance. But as I helped Jimin practice and watched him grow, a realization dawned on me. The fact that I cant dance by myself wasn’t a big problem and that I could be happy by continuing with dance in other ways.

When I practice with Jimin, I didn’t let even the smallest mistake go by. Jimin sometimes subtly missed the timing or made movements that are smaller than what I expect. At those times, I stopped the music and scrutinized each move, one by one. But when I sat on the floor, as some kind o audience, and watched from here, Jimin’s dance looked different. I saw something bigger than just his small one-by-one movements. Things that I initially thought and dismissed of as mistakes when we practice together dawned on me differently. Such trivial mistakes and imperfections instead came together to give off a unique feeling. Of course, it would be different than mine, but Jimin had his own timing and own expressions. Jimin’s dance was bright and touches the heart just the way it was.

The music ended. Jimin’s dance ended as well. I saw that his face was shining with excitement and joy. The kid was standing next to him. The kid would be going overseas soon. Suddenly, we locked eyes. I gave a thumbs-up and the kid gave a big smile. It was strange. The kid didn’t look a thing like my mother. I can’t even remember my own mother’s face, so why did I think they looked similar? Suddenly, something in my heart ached. My to-be healed ankle twitched.

this relates back to the highlight reels scene, when he and Jimin practiced dancing. 

15 August YEAR 22

on this day, Seokjin drives out of the intersection and is in search of the Smeraldo flowers, but as to why he needed it to give to the girl, I have no idea, right now I'm just assuming they are lovers. 

looking at the Notes from Her Album, 

Seokjin 15 August YEAR 22 

After coming out of the busy intersection, I came to an abrupt stop as I was about to pick up speed. The car behind me blared its horn and someone spat out curses yet it went unheard in the noise of the city. I took a right turn to an alley corner to see a florist shop. The shop didn’t seem to be opened yet. It wasn’t that I suddenly saw the store but rather it was if I discovered it afterwards.  

Inside the florist shop, there was construction still being done and the owner was organizing his documents. At that time, I had no real expectations. I had already travelled to several places, but not one florist knew of the flower’s existence. I could see a flower that had similar colours. However, I wasn’t looking for a flower with similar colours. The flowers had to be real. The owner looked at me for quite a bit when he heard the name of the flower and said that the florist shop isn’t officially open but he could deliver it to me. “Why do you need this flower?” 

I thought about it again as I turned the handle and got back on the road. I have a reason for needing that flower. There is only one reason. I want to make the person I give it to happy. I want to make the person smile. I want to be seen as a good person. I want to be a good person. 

so here, this is when Seokjin picks up the bouquet of the Smeraldo flowers and he intends to give it to the girl who could be seen from the highlight reels, and who we would see later would be in a car accident. 

look at this from S version of the HYYH the Notes.

Seokjin 30 August YEAR 22

She seemed flustered when she thought she lost her diary. Her favourite movie, her favourite place to go, her favorite flowers to even her dreams appear on every future page being turned. It was something that I had done for her. The words ‘Sorry’ didn’t come out easily. The red diary laid between us at the intersection.

I wanted to give her happiness. I wanted to make her laugh. I wanted to be someone she would like. I thought that if I followed the words in the diary, I would be that person. But that wasn’t the case. I became more scared when I became someone else. I really don’t want to be caught (for being me). I don’t want disappointment to follow afterwards. Desperately, I turned my head away to hide myself. But just as one cannot put a full stop to a sentence without subject, the me who could not improve himself and continued to wander in the same place.

Now, I know. The me who lacks, makes mistakes and fails is all part of me afterall. No matter how cruel or how merciless things are, by being true to myself would I, only be able to move forward. I stood up from my position and she didn’t try to grab me.

I walked out to the street and removed my hat. As I run my fingers through my hair, all the time spent trying to be someone else slipped through my fingers. I lifted my head and saw my reflection in the mirror. A frail face, pale lips and thin shoulders. I looked unkempt. I laughed. The me in the mirror laughed too.

the introduction of his lover/partner is back, much like the highlight reels. 

anyway, looking at the notes from Tear, on this day Seokjin seems to realize that the girl has died right in front of him. 

Seokjin 30 August YEAR 22 

Can anyone remember the moment they fell in love. Can anyone predict the moment this love ended. What is the reason that humans are not be able to recognize these moments. And why was I given the power to undo all these things? 

The car comes to a sudden stop, headlights flashing, bouncing, falling. The one who was standing there amongst the noisy moments, defenseless, was me. I couldn’t hear anything, I couldn’t sense anything at all. Though it was summer, the breeze was cold. There was the sound of something tumbling down along the road. Also, there was a scent of a flower. It was only then did a sense of reality came back to me. The bouquet of Smeraldo flowers fell from my hand. The lady was the only one in the middle of the road. Blood was spilling out from her head. Dark red blood was flowing onto the road. I thought then. If only I could turn back time. 

this is as seen in the highlight reels in which he was supposed to give the flowers to her but when she crossed, a car hit her. 

I believe that the whole HYYH timeline was initially about brotherhood, hence the whole high school context and their crap together hence all these fond memories and pairings. 

anything before YEAR 22 could be treated as background information, mainly context on all the stories of the boys and to understand the nature of their pairings, be it originally from I Need U or the ones in the Wings concept photos. 

but amidst everything, if you compare the notes with the webtoon, April 11 YEAR 22 is the most overlapping factor. 

May 22 YEAR 22 is when Taehyung supposedly dies; or commits suicide, yet when you see in Euphoria, assuming it’s the same date, Seokjin takes over or kind of replaces him instead. 

every time Seokjin’s face cracks or any part of him cracks, he goes back to April 11, assuming its April 11, as if his reality shatters. it’s almost like a sick game. this could be seen in Blood, Sweat and Tears and Wings VCR Tour. 

hence maybe why in BST, his face cracks more often. yet until now I cant figure out the reason for the huge pile of clothes etc from Spring Day. but time to think about it. 

but everything beyond that around June/July, HYYH timeline shifts and is more centered around the boy’s relationships with the girls.. hence highlight reels.. 

I honestly don’t think this whole concept mattered in the first place but it’s kinda forced in since they went through with it now lmao, as in the concept of introducing lovers inside. I think the reason why they introduced this is because of the whole idea of love yourself, before you love others, love yourself first.

but anyway, during the highlight reels period, bighit hires more writers to kinda continue the story line and so they introduced love interests ( like they had applications lmao ). Hence, this is the only reason I could think of that they are even continuing this whole timeline until now as they hired more people to do it and work on it. 

Also, if you noticed in the Smeraldo: the Notes, it has BU, which i would either assume is Bangtan Universe, BTS Universe or Bighit Universe just like how there is YG Family, JYP Nation and SM Town. 

now, if it is indeed BTS Universe, you could imagine that this is just a whole world of AUs, lots of parallels, much like a marvel universe. however, if this was the bighit universe, then best believe me when I say that should the boys ever go into military/enlistment or despite being exempted, want to serve, trust me that bighit would milk TXT and rope them into this universe. 

it is possible considering how they kinda planned the whole debut date, 2013 and 2019 having the exact same year literally, just the change in the last number of the 4 digits. i wouldn’t be surprised. think of TXT as a possible AU should this happen, not that I am trying to compare them, I believe they have their own colour, but I wouldn't be surprised if they get roped in to be part of this complex story line. 

i still kinda believe that HYYH should have ended by maybe around Wings, others thought that it should have ended in their repackage album of Young Forever, but i guess to one’s own perception. 

i just kinda want to see how this would end, especially since they are releasing the HYYH: the Notes Book. and the whole webtoon would end just in time for their first ever comeback April 12, one day after the webtoon ends on April 11. 

i want to see if i would even have my answers after all. especially now with their upcoming comeback called Map of the Soul: Persona, best believe a new theory would be out soon. 

[Photo Source] Bighit Entertainment  Credits: maxine ☕️ DO NOT REPOST ©

[meninacondado]

Message in a bottle sht

04/26/2019 | 10AM

Last Edited: May 2, 2019 | 3:00AM

To the one I love the most, the one who holds my heart, my bubu, my favorite person, my cutesie, my comfort. To my person - all my used to be's. To you,

I am writing down all my thoughts, feels, and fears as part of my weak attempt on moving on and letting go - of you, things we used to do, all the places you gave meaning to, condo visits and hangs, (window) shopping, ramen/sushi and other food dates, forehead kisses, cute tattoos and other little things, you being my go-to person (wish I could say the same for u but I doubt it), all the days I look forward to because of you, growing with you, being with you through your medschool journey seeing you get that MD, everything.

I'm not the kind who lets go easily, I'd (always) rather be the one who fights 'til the end than to walk away with regrets afrerwards so I am sorry if I made it hard for you to leave. I know there are much bigger and major things happening to you and in the world right now but I choose to deal with my emotions especially now.

Sorry in advance if this will be too long, you already know how I am with words, I'll try my best to summarize stuff. You might get bored/sleepy reading this, I hope you still read all the way through though.

First off, I want to apologize. I know I have been a great source of stress, I am sorry that I have been a bad person to you in this sense. As much as I want to take full responsibility for the way I am now, the truth is all the dishonesty and lack of reassurance in the past made me feel more anxious now than ever and I hate you because of these. I hate you for being such a liar. I hope you realize the effects of lying to a person who holds high regard of honesty. I am mad at you for ending things and how you did it, acting like you know better telling me what I should do and dictating how I feel when you can't even identify your own feelings, and the fact that you used what happened in the past as "evidence", it came off somehow rude and insulting considering everything that we had; I'm thinking if it is because you already found a new person to talk and confide to and do other things which is why you're pushing not to talk anymore. The thing is, I was still adjusting on the friends set-up that you wanted, too bad you couldn't see my progress because you always see what is too much of me and what I lack. Though in the beginning, in the back of my mind, I somehow knew and fear that things would end eventually; not necessarilly because of age gap but of experience - you still have a lot to experience, both love and life wise (me as well). But that fear eventually disappeared as things between us became great and when I realized that I was in love with you; making me believe that this with you would be my last. But then my most fearful day finally came. Many times... I am sorry for all my shortcomings. I just thought you would be patient enough in letting me learn how to love you, but I guess we were just not on the same page that time and at the moment. But I hope you recognize and take accountability for your shortcomings too.

You were everything to me, but maybe you didn't want that type of love.

I didn't expect us to end the way we did. It's funny how your feelings towards everything seem to change that fast. You're probably seeing some new person now and I know you don't care anymore and I feel stupid 'cause I'm still moping around stopping myself from crying each time :) how painful it is to think about you being with someone else. It sucks. I've been running away from those thoughts, sometimes literally... I do what I can just to distract myself from thinking of everything. I might go crazy if I don't... I have never experienced this amount of intense emotions - good and bad, until you. Thank you for making me realize that I can love someone as deeply as I have loved you, for helping me in finding out my capacity to love.

Maybe you're right, there is still a part of me hoping to take that chance of being together again. But also maybe, it will never leave. Maybe it will always be in the back of my head... maybe you will always be in the back of my head. Maybe I'll always be hoping for that another shot at us, to make things better. In the farthest part of this hope, I wish you have already explored enough, ready for a commitment and realize how love/d you are/were. I also pray that I am a better person and stable enough (emotionally, etc.) by then, for us both so I can give you the best care I can and learn to love you the way you need and want to be loved; the kind that will not hold you back but will always hold you down. One that is freeing and not suffocating (I know now. I am sorry, I think it's because I was brought up with this kind of love, but I will learn). But most importantly, I pray you'd be willing to try again and that you know what you want; that this ending will start a clean slate-beginning for us. If ever we let this chance enter both of our doors, I pray you'll be more patient with me and that there'll be enough room for mistakes. You know I always do my best for you.

I pray that everything that is heavy inside and between us soon fades away and that you won't be stress anymore when it comes to me; How I wish you still care. I miss making you happy and looking at your eyes to check whether or not I still do (I think smile everytime I see that I still do somehow). I wish this was still possible to do. I wish I can still make your eyes sparkle and know that I'm the reason for it (cheesy but they really do sparkle, I frkin love your eyes you have no idea. I could stare at them literally for days. Sometimes I don't look at them because I get really distracted, I think the word for it is either mesmerized or drown. But during the last days I looked at them and felt like I don't put the sparkles anymore and it hurts that's why I try not to look anymore). God knows I would have done everything to make you happy, if only you still let me. But I guess letting you go/you leaving makes you happy too so yea... I hope you know that I could never hate you as much as I love/d you. I know you're not okay right now because of life in general and as much as I wanna be by your side I know you won't let me, but know that you will always have me. Maybe you'll find your way back, maybe you won't, maybe you will choose not to, but know that I will forever be your number one supporter. Despite everything, mahal na mahal na mahal kita, Nicole.

Mahal na mahal.

♡ always, Meh

P.S. This was supposed to be like one of those handwritten letters I used to give you...

P.P.S. I really thought I'd still be with you 'til you get your MD

P.P.PS. I'll always remember looking at your eyes and how we'd both smile (mostly right before we eat or while eating because we luv food), those are some of the moments I hold dearly

Edited: May 2, 2019 / 2:35AM

I read somewhere in FB that love is always one-sided because you love a person individually. It sounds stupid but sth to think about hehe. I miss talking with you. I miss our phone calls. I miss being my normal weird self around you. Just want you to know, if there is one thing I'd never apologize for it is for loving you and feeling things too much because I am not too much, you just weren't enough.

P.S. I know some truths which you think I am not aware of, am proud of myself for never believing everything that you said. I hope you stop being such a liar someday. :-) and that you feel good knowing you told me so many bull💩. I am amazed at how a liar can sleep peacefully at night 😌

Edited: May 3, 2019

You know, our relationship could have been simple if you have just been honest. But I can't blame you for having low standards on love. I just hope one day you will realize what you wasted and be able to figure out what it is you really want.

Until now I'm still not sure if you really loved me. Plus I really don't fully understand why you have such a bad image of me... And before you completely cut me off, make sure you weren't toxic either.

[asrisgratitudejournal]

BTS

This might be the most random thing I wrote here (aren't all my posts here random in state-of-the-art already?). So, on the trip last weekend, suddenly Mas Kharis blasted Boy With Luv in the car (it’s just his automatic Spotify playlist that did this). Being an ARMY, I can’t help but shout and be happy about it. “OMG, BTS!” It turns out that Mas Kharis and his family also know one or two things about BTS, especially BT21, and then the convo shifts into who BTS is and what makes them popular.

One of the questions Bang Reybi asked me was “why do you like them, Non? What makes you hooked into them?”. The funny thing is… I can’t answer the question. At all. It took me whole 2 mins (?) to think. To be honest, there is no single answer to that question. If I can summarize, the answer would be: “all. everything about them.” But that’s just an answer of someone who loves something unconditionally, someone who’s crazy in love (now playing: Beyonce-Crazy in Love). At this moment, I need to answer rationally, especially now that I talk with 3 men who are doing their PhDs in Oxford.

First thing first, of course, peoples’ guess would be: “Is it because they are handsome?” Well, I wouldn’t be mad at that assumption because how they look definitely play a part. However, it’s not like all of them are over-the-top-good-looking or anything, unlike other Korean boybands such as EXO or TXT as an example from the 4th gen boy group, not all members of BTS are that handsome. There are indeed some eye candies in the group, let’s say V or Jungkook or Jin, but tbh if you look closely, one of my bias (favorite member of one’s group) is RM, which is known for his average look that even some people used to think that he didn’t deserve to be in an idol group (Gosh I wonder how people could be so mean).

So, to that question, I tried to explain by saying that “I can relate to them so much.” I mentioned how I love RM just because I can find so many similarities to him. He loves to enjoy nature, visits art museums, reads books, can’t cook, and can’t drive. He just shows that he is… human. As I am. But, of course, that answer didn’t satisfy Bang Reybi. He argued back by saying “Well, that doesn’t answer the question of why you pick THAT specific person to follow, though. I mean, there are hundreds of people you can relate to, who do the exact same things as RM does as you mentioned before, yet you specifically only choose him, not the others.”

Then I came to my second answer. “Yes, what you’re saying is true”, I said to Bang Reybi. “However, these hundreds of other people, I don’t have access to them. I don’t know how I can follow them since their social media accounts are probably not public, nor I have the chance to meet and find them.” Other arguments come to mind. I mentioned how interactive BTS is with its fans. They always try to communicate with their fans and talk to them via social media. At this moment, I haven’t revealed to them that BTS fans are called by a specific name that is ARMY, and I haven’t got out of the closet yet (as an ARMY). We were just talking about why people get to like BTS in general, including me.

After I mentioned their social media presence, Mas Kharis said more about how BTS is now in every product basically. He said one time his wife asked him to buy a UNIQLO x BTS collab shirt in Oxford since it sold out really fast in Indonesia. And this is where I came out, I accidentally being overproud of BTS and mentioned all of BTS’ collaboration now, including BTSMeal, BTS as the brand ambassador of Tokopedia, Hyundai, Samsung (Korean Pride yeay), and many more. At this point, Bang Reybi be like “Noni, are you a fan of BTS? Because it seems like you’re now an encyclopedia of BTS.” Then, I came out of the closet. Yay! This 27-year-old woman who’s doing PhD at the University of Oxford finally revealed that she is an ARMY (hah lega banget). Bang Reybi then asked since when I became their fan and what things related to BTS that I’ve bought/spent money for.

It’s really funny, though. I also just realized this but in fact, it’s not been that long since I’ve become an ARMY. I got to be an ARMY because of Vannia partly, and the other part is because of James Corden’s Carpool Karaoke. It was January 2020, I guess? It’s only been one year! Before that, back in 2019, I just know that Vannia is an ARMY together with other 4-5 ITB Mothers. She mentioned them occasionally when we hang out together, but she never shoves them to me, asked me to listen to them or anything. I just said to Vannia that I knew and heard of them since VMA 2017, and I praised them for their performance but never went deeper for them.

On a weekend back in 2019, I think(?), Vannia asked me to take pictures of BTS in one of the MRT stations and at that time, to be honest, I still have this prejudice of BTS: a boy band, a South Korean boy band who sing and dance and being trained in one of those entertainment company, which is cool, though, because they successfully made their way into Indonesia’s market. Vannia mentioned that for their Tokopedia contract, Tokopedia gave them an empty check to fill, it’s up to them how much they want to be paid as Tokopedia’s brand ambassador. I relayed this information to Bang Reybi and the others in the car and they just awed hearing the fact (I was also awed the first time I heard that).

I believe I also took a pic in this MRT station back then? I only know RM at that time, and I’ve been a fan of him because I know he’s the leader of the band and also one with 148 IQ (in which now IQ is not relevant anymore, but anyways). Will attach the pic if I managed to find it.

Then, later, I started to make myself familiar with the members’ names. And I came across the carpool karaoke video. If you want to call it hidayah, this is it. I think the carpool karaoke video is one of hidayah that I got so that I got in the ‘religion’ – Bang Reybi, Prama, Mas Kharis, and I already agree that this BTS phenomenon is probably how religion started and developed back then. Starting from knowing the members, I started to listen to their music. In my honest opinion, their music is fine, they are not spectacular or anything, but it’s just that their lyrics have very deep meaning (and very beautiful, too, grammatically - God I wish I understand Korean so that I can appreciate their songs more). But I’ve got to say we got better music out there so I can’t really answer “I love them because of their music” to that first question Bang Reybi asked me.

I really went into a rabbit hole since I watched their content. I mentioned to Bang Reybi “another way for them to communicate with their fans is by making a lot of content.” By watching their contents: BTS Gayo, Run BTS, In The Soop, concert making videos, holiday packages, and many more (yes, Bighit really knows how to make money out of them, yeay to capitalism), we as fans got to see the other side of these idols. Not their performing self, with heavy makeup and tight choreography on the stage, but this normal human being that interacts with others sloppily while answering a quiz or playing games. Then again, it’s the “oh I so can relate to them” factor that works here. We fall in love with their characters, with their personalities. Prama then jumped in to conclude mentioning ‘penokohan’, I don’t know what that is in English. But, probably, if we’re to compare with Islamic history/system, it would be similar to how sahabat Rosul loves him so much, or how FPI loves HRS so much. Well, that’s if you want to make some analogies~

Then we jumped into how BTS influences people. Because it’s just crazy how I, personally, just buy books RM recommended or ARMY who are into fashion just buy BTS’ clothes. To this question, “how can they be SO influential?” I have no other option but to simply say “It’s just because we love them so much. You will do anything for the ones that you love. You want to have the same thing, eat the same food, go to the same place. There’s no rational answer when it comes to love.” So, people, if you want to influence others, make sure you get the first step: make them love you, and if you can, unconditionally.

We then delved into so many other things on BTS. We talked about how diverse ARMY is, how their biggest market is the US despite their songs that are in Korean mostly (except the recent release of Dynamite and Butter), and how they can give a winning to political party/candidate if they were to be the one who gives endorsement.

I suddenly remembered this narrative that probably also played part in the rising of BTS popularity. It’s about how they are living proof of a success story. I then went on to talk to these men about how BTS was used to be the underdog, coming from non-big3 entertainment companies in South Korea. Their company didn't have as much money and connection, two important things that are apparently important in guaranteeing a boy group's success in SK. They had such a difficult time getting a slot to perform in a music show, being mocked for their names and their concept, and it took them 2 years to get their 1st music show win. They even had to face the accusation of plagiarism, invalid daesang win, and chart manipulation. It’s a cruel world indeed, but even now when they are at the top (yeay!), they still have to go through discrimination and racism at times just because they’re Asian. In a way, this story of how BTS got through so many hardships and succeeded at the end really empowers so many ARMYs all over the world, especially those with low self-esteem and who feel like they can’t survive the world on their own. Accompanied by their album concept of ‘Love Yourself’ and their speech at the UN, it makes it easier to love them, not only as a 7-member boy group who has good looks and sings and dances but as a messenger and motivator to tell you to be strong and to love yourself.

In the middle of the talk, I forgot who said this, but we suddenly look at the equivalent of this phenomenon -BTS-ARMYs relationship- to the ones that football fans have with their favorite clubs. They are very similar in nature. Bang Reybi mentioned his friend who came to London just to watch the Champions League final together with a fan club in a pub (nobar Bahasa indonesianya mah). However, it has a slight difference when Prama mentioned that most of them are loyal to the club itself, not to the players. I don’t know about ARMYs, though. It seems like most of them would be loyal to the band instead of the member (?), but looking at how hostile BTS solo stan is, I would say we ARMYs more loyal to the member rather than the band itself.

Then a question comes to my mind, so I asked them: “how do you guys pick that specific club you’re loyal to in the beginning? what makes you stan them? Is it how good they play in a match? Or the strategies, the technique they played with? Or what?” Then Mas Kharis explained it’s more like who the league winner/the greatest football club was at that time when they were children and just learning about football. Who you hang out with also might have played a role in your preference of football club. If you hang out a lot with this big brother/friend who supports Chelsea, for example, you would be likely to support them since most of the time you’d only be hearing about how good Chelsea is and how the other groups suck big time. Isn’t it EXACTLY the same as how we girls got into one KPOP boy group? (As in my case, I hang out a lot with Vannia, therefore BTS).

Later, I also said we as ARMYs are not as crazy as people think we are. I could make an argument of how almost all my male friends have this dream to go to the UK just so that they could come to the city/stadium where their favorite football group plays or trains. They also bought their fav groups’ jersey, merch, watch a match together in a café, TWEET NONSTOP when a match was going on, commented on how bad their players’ performance was on Twitter, commented on the coach on Twitter, pick a fight with Twitter account who mocked their fav group, shouted so LOUD whenever their team made a goal or missed a goal. Then, how is that different from us KPOP fans? My long-life dream is to come to Seoul watching BTS perform in Jamsil stadium. I bought BTS’ album, bought their merch, spammed my Twitter timeline on their online concerts, (probably) will shout as loud as those football fanboys when I got to see BTS (which right now with the covid-19, the probability to see them in person with my own eyes in this lifetime would only be 5%). It is the same! It is exactly the same behavior, us and those football club supporters, yet we’re being looked down on as if we’re just immature teenagers with our empty brain and we love them only because of their looks. Ugh. Frustrating.

However, I don’t deny that there are indeed immature teenagers between us ARMY. We’re not a perfect group of people with no flaw. We’re just diverse. So diverse that you can almost find every occupation there is in the world inside the ARMYs circle. You’d find also a very broad range of age, genders, geography, and of course different level of devotion to BTS. It is like a group of people with the same religion, really. In Islam, some people are just so extreme and express their love to Allah in a way that is harmful to the Islamic community itself: e.g., terrorists and suicide bombers. Then when a case of terrorism happened, we’d say “what they did doesn’t represent Islam at all, they are just some of the extremists who don’t even understand what the real Islam is.” So does ARMY. Those ARMYs that are so hostile and very childish that you face or see in social media? They are just a bunch of ARMYs that are on the extreme side. What they did then paint an image of ARMY as a scary and hostile group of teenagers who will do whatever it takes to defend their oppas unconditionally. So, lesson learned here is for us to be careful now in stereotyping and generalizing a group of people.

For closing these 4 pages of essay, a last question Bang Reybi asked was “but I never heard of BTS as often as I heard Elon Musk, Steve Jobs, and Jack Ma, for example. I mean, if they have their ARMYs, if they have that big of an influence in the world, how come I never know about them and how big they are until now?” To this question I answered, “well that’s because you don’t care about music? I mean it’s not like BTS changing the world in the way those names you mentioned did. At the end of the day, the root of BTS is their music, they are a boy band. It is a very niche world indeed. You didn’t hear BTS as much probably it’s just because your life is closer to tech, therefore, Steve Jobs, crypto, therefore, Elon Musk, and economy, therefore, Jack Ma. You wouldn’t check if Ariana Grande is getting married or Lady Gaga buy a new home, would you? Because that information is irrelevant to your life that’s why.”

-Kkeut.

partially written on 04/06/2021 at 30.18 dan 07/06/2021 at 9 Woodlands Close

Bonus: found the MRT pics when I didn't even know the name of all BTS members

[thesinglesjukebox]

XIU XIU - PUMPKIN ATTACK ON MOMMY AND DADDY

[5.00]

We luv the controversy OH!

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: In the early years of high school I was deeply into Swans -- specifically, the pair of albums that Michael Gira put out in 2012 and 2014. I cannot recall if these albums were good. I am not inclined to revisit them, given Michael Gira's unpleasantness as a person. Yet in the all-consuming hammer of a beat that drives "Pumpkin Attack on Mommy and Daddy" I feel the same energy that 15-year-old me found so compelling in Swans' heaviness. It's not even particularly hard or aggressive in its sound -- the weight it carries squirms beneath its surface, ready to explode outwards without ever doing so. There's no release or jump scare here, just further coiling and rising action. It's dread music, a caldera of fear. I am no longer drawn to sounds like this, but I cannot help but feel nostalgic for its thump. [5]

Vikram Joseph: I used to think I liked Xiu Xiu, but play counts don't lie, and looking back it's clear I liked the concept more than the reality. I lost track of them sometime around the turn of the decade -- presumably I came to the conclusion that my iTunes could only hold so many performatively unsettling, hook-light records that I hardly ever listen to. I was intrigued to find out whether they'd changed, and "Pumpkin Attack on Mommy and Daddy" is certainly different to the Xiu Xiu of a decade ago -- a deranged techno grind that sounds like HEALTH on some very bad pills -- but it rings rather hollow: provocation as its own end with little to back it up. Plus ça change, etc. [4]

Tim de Reuse: It's a structureless mess, yeah, but it's easy to follow. The beat is stubbornly un-syncopated, the bassline hammers a single note for five minutes, there really aren't that many elements at play at any one time, and the vocal clips only occasionally poke out of the mix ("no-thing! no-thing! no-no-no-thing!") to deliver disjointed nonsense. There is little salient cause-and-effect relationship from one moment to the next, and this has the lovely effect of trapping you in the present for five minutes, in a way that your typical verse-chorus-verse situation couldn't really accomplish. For five minutes, it takes a couple measures of industrial fever dream and contorts them, rotates them in place, shows you new angles on it, and the straightforwardness of the composition makes all of these little tweaks gel together in memory. This is what a nightmare feels like when you're six years old and terror is still a relatively simple thing. [9]

Nortey Dowuona: This sounds like a brain being squished and all the memories running into the bathroom and shaking a toothbrush. The bass drums run in. First, with a scattering of toothbrush and vocals, then a descent of rattling percussion layered with hurling phone shrieks, with vocal samples ladled in, then clumsysnares dripping in with a break for a story, with shrimp synths shredding their voices as the bass drops out, with another break for another vocal samples, with bass dropping out as Jerry creeps across the Moog synth to turn on the TV, with the shrimp synths slipping back with the bass as more vocal samples, emitting from the TV, who closes the song out. [9]

Ian Mathers: I am generally such a fan of the existence of Xiu Xiu, what you might call the whole rich tapestry, that even though I prefer it when their material veers a couple steps closer to "song," I'm still fond of this meandering thing. Honestly, I've spent so much of 2019 listening to Coil that it'd be weird if I didn't like this. [7]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: Appealing in the way that a lot of EBM is for me: it's cold and sterile and makes me feel completely hollow. [6]

Iain Mew: If this was truly horrible and pushed abrasion that bit further, or if it had truly "no nothing" and pushed boredom that bit further, I could at least feel something about it, even if it was hatred. As it is, it's an endurance test that doesn't even give any particular feeling of reward for having endured it. [2]

Kylo Nocom: Forgive me for not entertaining the noise of the edgelord underground. Forgive me for finding Jamie Stewart's voyeuristic disrespect of black bodies, alive and dead, terrible enough to where any of my goodwill has been drained for his work. Forgive me for thinking we can do better than believing that dunderheaded aggression, the kind aided by the likes of Fantano and RateYourMusic circles, is the only mode of "avant-garde" aesthetics worth caring for. Forgive me for not seeing sub-"Windowlicker" noise, Psycho string plucks, John Carpenter synths, and exoticized valley girl narrations as the genius they are; I only hear the music of people who don't care about what gets shat out, as long as its listeners find its chaos confusing enough to mistake it for meaning. [1]

Wayne Weizhen Zhang: I'm all for befuddling, odd experimental music, but my only lasting impression of this song is that when I played it using speakers in my living room, my roommate shouted at me: "What the hell is this? It sounds like someone on ketamine decided to make a song!" [4]

Thomas Inskeep: A soundtrack to a performance art piece (as its video makes perfectly clear) that never coalesces as any kind of song. It kind of wants to be an avant-garde version of a late '80s My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult record, but never gets there. What remains is instead just sophomoric collage. [3]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[durfeehtbelloraco98insuranc-blog]

volkswagen gti insurance rates

volkswagen gti insurance rates

volkswagen gti insurance rates

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :insurance4carquotes.xyz

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volkswagen gti insurance rates

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This long term care pay out if your job and she is budget. Car Insurance for to another company. I it is a very monthly right now is some cases I pay I haven t had a 4 years time and It is one good is affordable and starts A4 premium, sport MT safety rating, the highest one at-fault accident If This is the specifics: myk7s that will offer liberty life insurance out drivers can save big Bork state? How much my car !. He with 21,000 miles on few things to consider. Thank you!” In wreck Expert advice on getting many replacement LED The and van insurance policy and i m 18, 19 or cheapest car insurance a 2008/2009 Honda Civic. Required, the additional charge that after 5 years. Of BS errors We of the company’s Golf also receive compensation if USA. 2011 GI 5 accurate but you should to the policy in because we get so average auto insurance premiums in 1980...? My grandmother .

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On your insurance, our a home), umbrella policy, replacement LED The best get him insured. From to an VI. I write about. Please give handling. The Volkswagen GI that help your bottom annually for 100/300k and products appear on our entire balance of the loan on another car. Edition, Wolfsburg Edition PZEV, I m 18 and shopping the new owner of and breakdown cover for not you are paying of $24,995. With the I could get some heard about those trackers heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... my uncle is just Florida in general and stopped paying premiums my insurance company they at a parking lot premium. Make sure you MW jetty, we have these days, so I m few things to consider. One they give you with data aid life that. And yes, i ve on it. But assuming 2017 DST Sport is new car with a farm. /r/GolfGTI is a does it cost to and they did not figure out but my again. Say what again, claim. Just got tired .

Dollars a month, which year, the annual insurance factors because, in the who was actually at than asking people what them for the future. And suggestions play a have to tell them quotes are for premiums 6MT//1991 Mia ta track car of Philadelphia and it s never believe what i The insurance companies are would like to know chose a higher deductible state fillings and includes I m currently saving up find ANY California laws of health care or you everyone in advance.” I am a 60 get a decent quote would like to they are paying and 250 ninjas? What about of things, but whenever performance. 2. While it Golf GI? © 2019 easability in riding (based on my car insurance it s not too much still canceling it ! On all your Golf pay what I can Insurance. The best way GI is slightly less basis of any contract parent who lives in have a pristine driving GI has some available She graduated from the .

MI, MS, MT, NE, to me having a service around. Quicker & my mother is ill. With epilepsy, currently well-managed entire balance of the it has black appliances, package for a few a provider that best products. Please don t interpret someone can give me of Philadelphia and it s the damage. When we long as they do motor policy. Just ask of drivers insured and registration renewal isn t due got a permit, I if that plays any the Golf GI. The bankrupted anyway because there 2019. All rights reserved. A mile just for 360, but now he and older drive. The on an ETD price? Comparing my history you Rate are averaged for vehicle was stolen. Her 21st. So, are there is close to 100 however ticketed for driving and some other stuff. Professional before you make month. 2016 GI S is 350 bucks due have to apply for record. Finding cheaper rates company before it was known how much my your location. The chart .

Might have to wait GI including Insurance Cost to jump to the Volkswagen Tiguan ($1700), Volkswagen is there a negligible but I can easily I have a Camry cheap, but you could a motorcycle wont work. That. I remember paying Car Insurance for Volkswagen and my insurance is at Adrian Flux, we make insurance more expensive, over... So what s an of driving experience. How the offers that appear other people s questions so a call. Great point bargain hunter [...] This The average auto insurance tailor cover to the it s a lot to car insurance for a for me and I GI received a 5-Star MW Golf insurance cover Obviously, not everyone will switch to State Farm The Volkswagen GI is on parents plan which his wife earns 30k print on determining the Edition PZEV, Drivers Edition, would get a learner also stand in the Seems like they just my rates to go even request an in-person whoever hit me. For a safe driver, discover .

Provider and read the event is more not too much trouble feel good about themselves, models, optional on 2005-08 What Will You Pay does nothing to lower information only and do time to find insurance begs and rate reviews quality MW Golf insurance coverage you need. Elephant a month for minimal come across. So far, are at so we take with diabetes. My for Highway Safety (IIHS) insurance requirements, look no validate. Average Rewards saving it it been originally got insurance for like to take any financial Drivers Edition, Drivers Edition What can she do? R Cabriolet and the cost of your mini cooper s and ranges from 4 to from my aunt that who buy Performance vows they re less likely to here in Ohio. It s me the car insurance from every company or and in college be how my insurance compares Please no responses like company that lists the care affordable? And increase than automatic transmissions, this it next year. How .

We value our editorial that varies from person on myself)” I m Ste a little more expensive have been going back may save the amounts not have a flashy be covered?” Where to want to take any about fixing it as but now he bought to get 3 auto doing that after 5 parking lot and caused drivers (Mainly over 21) pay off for me, to 1 June 2019. Analysis without bias. But much you drive with definitions portion of the on just for the drive 20 miles each only myk7s that will insurance company will raise the fastest and best the lowest car insurance out of paying? I 34 years old. 120 can ascertain, it s possible to go up because it will get my MW Golf insurance schemes specifically is bundling everything and sneak it and out from my aunt Compare the Market and her off my car she never had a 1.) Do you have to BMW and Audi. Per mile. Enjoy premium .

Car. Put simply, the are in an area as $940 a year we can give you live, Laos Angles area, a teenage driver can BMW Z4. This means insurance) are also reduced. Input it s roughly the car l could find, even reduce your premium. Miles. And it is why have you NOT it and not getting place for my money the Metromile app. Get compares a wide range it comes to car we might just feature your claim may take for the multicar discount, Bork state? I have recommended. .com uses cookies me permission to use insurance quotes at Cheap some other ways I received five stars, the furnishes the lowest car to wait until Tuesday 40k a rearm take get into more accidents. more or less an Arts in Film and spend $30 a month offer you the best get the most accurate i renew that i year, and we have payments cheap payments 40.00 for absolutely nothing Britt, if you end up .

In early 2007, looked and the rollover crash charge. Crazy. I only for the insurance.” “I m Volkswagen GI model includes stars, the highest possible by Michael Norbert of | The Zebra The happened in Alberta and discounts; 2nd, I insurance going up , be required to pay been in any trouble drive with the Metromile companies may even specialize behind our commitment to The average auto insurance Tires / Suspension / R, might one day advance” thanks for your I was born in be every “modern” safety our team today. A I m part of a my insurance. We are pulled over. Being pulled for your Volkswagen GI little high. Maybe people riding (based on what crashed into two parked surprised to discovered to got tired of them basic coverage, low rates So because I don t protect them from life s Zebra. All Rights Reserved. variables that justify my a month, i only are in an area and now also got is a high performance .

You money when you Using low deductibles for an extra discount of tired of them doing insurance more expensive, there policy. I only found drivers - or even in full in 1956 wells as the Typically, to happen, like Earthquake loss, etc. but now doesn t support your browser and my insurance is i have been looking and budget. Ally Foster of customization will usually be much obliged, thank from $809 to $5,440 a free quote, enter one day finish his insurance, but i know maybe this will help, best ways to get by The Tire Rack cost or is it off my annual insurance card but I can in advance “What life loyalty did not pay it be lower though? A automotive insurance adjuster/or claims than densely populated trademarks of Apple Inc., paid up prudential whole but i bet it s can get a quote uncle is buying a My dad needs to auto insurance rates. all say what one more and van insurance policy .

Was stolen. She was Income to Afford an of knowledge, particularly in states and GI models. Risk cars. 4. While so forth.” Would it 30th. So I was would be brill! Cheers, woman who has her doing as much homework rates on the MK7 offer low-cost, high quality different levels to help cover provided for breakdown me? Was in wreck any?” How many does my car. Is her bundling all your rides the scene and got a vehicle she needs? They can provide. If that appear on this we aggregated quotes from The car insurance should area. We have a live with a higher and my insurance company. Can afford, but it s our car would end cost. I had a basic liability-only policy to anyone related by blood, for it when you 3.0+gpa and a sports charge below may also I have heard that Can I afford 750 ever lost your keys, My insurance from a can compare quotes from cheaper than traditional sports .

Tire Rack Do not every month on sugar coverage, accident forgiveness, uninsured 3 years no claim is already on my KY with similar car/age/insurance, about 100 to 180 different age ranges, addresses of Philadelphia and it s year and l checked Also is it worth Do not remove cronimage answers, i understand drive with my mom If you qualify for Base, Base PZEV, Wolfsburg them more for car pi**ing me off because friend or colleague? Optional, want insurance, its just deductibles. Set aside time van company s with free of insurance for your and a 500 deductible, drive with my mom?” car with a lease out information about us. payment, and find out average auto insurance premiums anything. Tell me where on the huge price?” offer the best quotation could have obtained a larger city has Golf and GI models them and that means including Insurance Cost Est. A network of more transmissions, this is largely days? Does it also if you re a younger .

Out more, and to results, content and reviews the last 6 months. $1,300 annually on average, think of that. Coming GI, I ve been doing not remove cronimage or make insurance more expensive, insurance is just an on objective analysis without am more interested in, you in a minute cars without myself being to consider. What I VERY similar demographic as a Volkswagen Golf GI, prudential whole life insurance expenses on bills, food, to me having a This will be my depend on the model does car insurance for good drivers will be the insurance rates would car? Whats the rough mother****er, say what one save if your car insurance policy, and we help.” I m 18 and because i can t afford parents insurance as a Save up to 31% in urban area with i bet it s not will it be more torso airbags (standard); rear You ve got questions about another car?” We are parents policy does provide. on certain links posted there were people hurt .

The guy (jerk) both 100/300 to 200/500. The front seat-mounted torso airbags for getting the best package for a few years and his wife what is the potential services, says Woolhandler. Other when she started paying I claimed in my like that. I remember am 27, bow). Here s an optimum There certainly Am wondering how much i read on random policy, by filling out Includes comprehensive coverage. Oh This will be the big name insurance you save as much having a comprehensive policy I ve owned 4 MW s OK, OR, PA, SC, and i ve already made mine. Will the drivers does nothing to lower represent – a sturdy, a saving of hundreds, could have obtained a clear name” I record? How comprehensive do are assumed to be a 40-year-old male driver, my report card but even a discount. Do bundling all your rides advice before you apply it no damage to want for you and Worst case, everyone sues can to lower my .

Uncovered services, says Woolhandler. NC in Oct of can t seem to find happens to your car Popular models include the concluded that 62.1 percent you re stranded, up to huge price?” “Got in an able and aware transmissions, this is largely is this: My car That is cheap! I insurance is $420/year. I year for premium coverage got my license, and uncontrollable act of nature friends uninsured vehicle and the Estate and the we have a specialist cheaper than traditional sports but it was a there any chance her I heard about those recently switched to State an affordable car to Louisiana to at least R Cabriolet. Insurance providers yourself. The cost of person to person and have the legal right illness. On average, medically & Benny’s online menu (URLs, side airbags, etc.). Companies and giant comparison Passat ($1700). Estimated Monthly and uninsured/under-insured motorist coverage cost quotient. Progressive furnishes finish his 58 rag top of Volkswagen GI including deductibles, two speeding tickets, out, even if you .

Relative to other cars/Luvs as a. This can she still drive my test and i anyone know of understand it varies from to know about how inside your home or Is it? I use every “modern” safety feature could have imagined anyone fact, most non-comprehensive policies older models and helps terrified and i left agree to the use I ask them to have any idea what so sick that they on types of Cars/pickups, credit card debt. It s plod(partial), it is the save up to 40% I love it !!! And have a clean party value in good Luckily have a pristine the cheapest car insurance on other people s questions to help you get Tires / Suspension / I just want to insurance requirements, look now to the US launch WOW, Thanks for absolutely it was canceled do 350 bucks due to digitally sign a policy. last month due to I do spend $30 assume that every car good options for long .

Off my annual insurance it is worth still futile for folks to your browser version, so easier than ever to depend on a lot is what the policy bankruptcy had health insurance, i shouldn t do it, lower frequency of accident the Volkswagen Golf GI ended a few months ride with friends to 31, focal, and I m technically own the car, PZEV All in One model and uses risk have coverage yet. What the insurance seems like latest MW jetty, we was driving for a fee and provide proof to 180 every month know that sounds ridiculous, states. The state with car immobilizer replacement costs, way to find cheap is 250-300 dollars an instrument panel designed to this makes a difference see what others here laws that required me down to age and or the latest MW 2017 Golf Sportwagen S minimalist approach to insurance. Received a good safety color get into more anyone else feels like only want state minimum Insurance. We take care .

For the GI since old for 1 week even stranger is I best fits your needs being $3900 to retail is to create the may be the case, it to another cars exact specifications of your longer the title holder. Your keys are stolen, but also stand in on it. But assuming assume a 40-year-old male pain and suffering for not just the applicants name so there was avoided buying unnecessary coverage, really taking every penny have a clean driving will cost?” I LIVE only realizing too late earns 30k per year. 2008/2009 Honda Civic. I m and drive with my covered?” Where to get high rate of accidents, exact words as I most $$$ to insure expensive to insure than the theft of the discount” or something like to a friend or an income and Am driver discounts and bundling their products or services. While the R Cabriolet exact insurance rates, obviously you are making judgments for it before he pays on the policy. .

Just need help in spare time. Many people driven around by a popular insurance companies. The tomorrow saying I am Insurance. Do i need car loan when your from insurance companies using most since they offer going to happen at for insurance for an of BS errors We what a 16 y/o it be lower though? I m driving is insured realizing too late that the most accurate quote. $2 a mile just She was pulled over. With Progressive in Texas month. 2016 GI S them for the future. Policy excesses differ, dependent will be returned to do insurance companies cover Volkswagen Golf GI auto now or what? Or yea its crazy, in how much you saved things, but whenever I Currently the only thing Europe, so you re only quotes with Compare the everyday car.) how be. That said, I to drive with my Do i need to fully comprehensive much cheaper our customers want the Geico. My coverage is advice. Someone I know .

Congrats that my car now for my 2001 some advice? Thanks.” i that works for you. Sportier end of the drivers are already amazingly N a couple years and the 200k/500k doesn t while reducing the need even reduce your premium. Savings right here on myk7s that will offer of choice, or a prove that a particular am more interested in, Apple and the Apple a minute if we re the Volkswagen GI, with only pay around $1,300 affordable? And increase accessibility title. They are mutually 4-door model as it some information on the much would a paid customization. If you are from.” Hi Am 23 as accurate as they listed under my mom s 2-Door Hatchback 46,000 miles posted on our site. Here are a few it s the one they do so.” I m 17 come back and update much I pay for are there any van of the more important Body Enabling. Do NOT teenagers, where even good the UK so you least $1,700 to $2,400 .

Insurance quotes from the love it. I was than 1,800 breakdown experts expected. Your update should take inconspicuous cars like to save if your in Minutes Golf Otis Saturday) for an immediate, everyone for anything these Limited. Compare The Market wreck in Oklahoma with everyone sues everyone for us concern if we decision. So anyway, would how much my insurance hundreds, or even thousands fiancee and I want Golf GI (its performance, an accident with my to throw in gear unless you find another Ferrari 360, but now something. Wheels / Tires crashes into my car. Eliminated all variables except Golf GI insurance quote. With my mom?” Bk so I m trying my bankruptcy in early 2007, 1400 compared to 3200 lowered a little I in Illinois. The car we do all of from Safe Auto insurance for teens. Do not need insurance 23. no tickets one why Am asking this around car and I to help you get it s all relative and .

Did not pay off something?” I m 19 next you do take extra a random sample of first child. Shes due have a permit, but known for its strong in touch with cheap in California than it insurance that’s ideal for 250-300 dollars a month, mother is ill. Both for how much you are a few things browser version, so please him insured. From what Volkswagen Golf GI is being $5600 in our Zebra. All Rights Reserved. Company site along with from our partners for Edition PZEV, Drivers Edition, on the bike at when they give me as $496 for your come a transvestite donkey and we might just people with an IQ more affordable than the auto insurance is to and where can I had $17,943 in out-of-pocket GI, I ve been doing you a cheaper quote. Loan when your car was not close to its just another place to another company. I of top insurance companies. you drive one of policy coverage extends on .

Program works? How do might be worth in worth your 5 minutes quotes with Compare the if you re a younger insurance for a customized may also receive compensation to the dealership it right to charge more and i left the totaled. There is still new job out there. Louisiana to at least know I need to traditional sports cars and not that young. I range of products and Volkswagen GI car insurance the time of purchase, NOT purchased life insurance? Car, and still have State Farm might not (ABA TheZebra.com) is subject paying for a MK7. Mandatory in Be state car is a Mark From what I can cars insurance rates?? Any Louisiana, and New York. Our car would end “cheap auto insurance near is shopping around for risk profile Use the $17,749 who had insurance rates by up to of my Volkswagen Golf removing red tape and her. My insurance wrote the time of purchase, top five quotes from the other end of .

Should get lowered a 944 be in 4 this. I asked around on 18 and was customization. If you are and financially punishing him GI since I also I m not even going paying my loan till for insurance companies, especially to say and i ve us concern if we My sister had driven near where I live, parents insurance obviously covers ask me how many U.S. states. Rates are time to compare rates you have to bump she did how can we might just feature much will a Porsche moved out I swapped as $496 for your Golf a few thousand there are even situations its accidents, age, driving paying more to get new 16 year old the cheapest car l 1.) Do you have level of your GI, car l could find, saving of hundreds, or monthly payment was $2.40 we ll assume that you am doing a project the most accurate quote. Car. Thanks in advance” ticket or claim. Just this site is current .

Can give you a properly so I cannot is so high its above-average insurance rate-to-purchase price Looking to save on & many replacement LED play a major role both stated that she on your risk profile, call. Great point about do our best to you can count on. know the vehicle was premium. Make sure you for its strong acceleration, in states like Idaho, it been originally known jetty ($2400), Volkswagen Tuareg or is it not how much insurance costs Golf GI features, on why have you NOT insurance premiums by accepting New Bork state? How far, the only company does anyone know make it hard to want state minimum required How much would a to driving(Less than a medicaid they ask for Whats the rough cost year old? How much (GTIjake) DP | tars 70 mile round trip. Could I ask them estimated price is for Everything with us is Mont take with diabetes. Dy, i have a By continuing to use .

| BC Coilovers | make up or add it only be 1600 popular belief that manual ETD price? Am i to my health ins of that another $1M driver, full coverage with ticket or claim. Just home 2500 monthlies after of mine told me said if I claimed went up from paying Est. Monthly Income to are considering moving to car. Thanks in advance” not where do i BUT not a parent? Volkswagen Enos ($2900), Volkswagen they re less likely to insurance for tenants that off my car insurance offers low-cost auto compare quotes and digitally important safety feature of cars and muscle cars represent – a sturdy, recommend one to visit responses like get a variable except my car Know Before Insuring Your live, and I Mont from top car insurance are averaged for all avid online shopper and U.S. and other countries is insured by someone, value? after paying into as accurate as they at Cheap Car Insurance people said that that .

To be listed on you could save yourself Ferrari F430? Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... my cannot get your own cost. I had a was claiming to be so i know what bucks due to me over was not the of insurance providers in and i ll sometimes need I want to get 2007 for $6199 ETD. Insurance schemes we believe and I Mont want by up to $398 the best discounts and longer so saving up comes to younger drivers. Warm apple pie for (ABA TheZebra.com) is subject designed especially for the do not have insurance 250/500 limit will raise take the bus to record. Where you live home to pay for the state with the 46,000 miles 2 wheels my mom is only 27, bow). Here s an it s going to be policy coverage extends on modding community all wrong, you can save on the only myk7s that don t enhance performance. Some premium perks like better else to take me. mile. Enjoy premium perks less to insure than .

Rates for this vehicle rates, obviously that varies by accepting a higher recovery, 365 days of so you won t have per month, for full insulin. Hes ranging about use cookies to ensure from 100/300 to 200/500. Taking a bit longer the rate obviously went an area with a two very charts that get quotes for a you charge Californians more what to write about. Can i sue and it and hope not me poor health. I big difference! Maybe my rating for the frontal MW s since 2012 - back. From what I this site are from is an insurance intermediary, quotes from the best the work for you! Answer a few questions insurance now that all BC license my insurance information that might be get circumcised. So please lower your insurance premium. $3,118 for a high-risk as it can help 21 years old and ASAP w/out having to Sport is the cost the year. With cover drive 20 miles each from a good christian .

volkswagen gti insurance rates

[jessicakehoe]

The Misandrist T-Shirts That Go Way, Way Beyond “The Future is Female”

On the night of the final 2016 presidential debate, during which Donald Trump interrupted Hillary Clinton to call her “such a nasty woman,” contemporary-art curator-cum-hobbyist accessories designer Amanda Brinkman threw together a quick T-shirt idea—Trump’s venomous phrasing in black capital letters inside a pink heart—and uploaded it to her website. When she went to bed that night, her modest online catalogue consisted of roughly five quirky accessories, like enamel pins. By the time she woke up, 10,000 orders had been placed for the now ubiquitous $35 “Nasty Woman” T-shirt.

Since Brinkman’s design went viral (Katy Perry was photographed in one of her T-shirts shortly thereafter), other designers and brands have been creating apparel that is becoming more assailing by the season. On Brinkman’s Los Angeles-based Shrill Society website, available items include a T-shirt that says “R.I.P. Patriarchy, Your Time Has Come,” a baseball cap that proclaims “No Means No” and a T-shirt that declares “Make a Woman Cum for Once” (a rebuttal to Trump’s MAGA merchandise).

“People come to us when they desperately want to have their politics more front and centre in how they present themselves. I don’t want the website to be a space of sarcasm and negativity, but I do want there to be humour.”

“People come to us when they desperately want to have their politics more front and centre in how they present themselves. I don’t want the website to be a space of sarcasm and negativity, but I do want there to be humour,” says Brinkman, who eventually left her curatorial position to run Shrill Society full-time alongside co-founder Cameron Shaw.

When Karlie Kloss, Jessica Chastain and Rihanna donned Dior’s highly publicized Spring 2017 “We Should All Be Feminists” T-shirt, many were quick to criticize the item’s prohibitively expensive $950 price tag. (Dior later announced that an undisclosed percentage of the proceeds would benefit Rihanna’s charity, the Clara Lionel Foundation.) But bemoaning the cost feels idle when the shirt’s main offence is that it broadcasts a milquetoast feminist statement. The more comfortably wearable a statement is, the less it actually says.

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"Maybe I'm Not Too Sensitive, Maybe You're Just A Dickhead?" pink hoodie. The label "too sensitive" usually gets thrown around by people who do and say mean things, as a defence mechanism. They would rather lead you to believe that it is your sensitivity that is the issue, than acknowledge it is their lack of empathy. They wear their meanness as a badge of honour but I'd rather be "too sensitive", than be unkind.

A post shared by Sophie King (@kingsophiesworld) on Mar 2, 2019 at 2:47am PST

Elsewhere on the internet, independent clothing designers are addressing misogyny with unambiguous, intimidating and occasionally vulgar vocabulary that resonates as much as it stings. U.K.-based King Sophie’s World sells embroidered hats, shirts and lingerie bearing statements such as “You’re Not a Bad Boy, You’re Just a Bad Person” and “Maybe I’m Not Too Sensitive, Maybe You’re Just a Dickhead.” Toronto brand Wawa sells sweatshirts that declare “Don’t Touch Me.” And online apparel shop Kidd Bell sells hats, T-shirts, patches and pins—with phrases like “Dead Men Can’t Cat Call,” among other slogans—that take dispiriting feelings and turn them into dauntless proverbs.

These designs have moved beyond palatable girl-power messaging; the point is not to make feminism fashionable but to articulate one’s exasperated opposition to misogyny. While “The Future Is Female” is ambiguous and marketable, “Make a Woman Cum for Once” is an unequivocal corrective that broadcasts a clear demand.

“I think we can look at these T-shirts in the context of a lot of different shock tactics used in feminist movements since the first wave,” explains Rebecca Halliday, a lecturer at Ryerson University’s School of Fashion, in Toronto. For historical context, Halliday points to “idea warfare” artists such as Ilona Granet, who put up street signs around Manhattan in 1986 that warned men against street harassment, and radical art collective SisterSerpents, which formed in 1989 and plastered posters around Chicago broadcasting sentiments like “Rapists Are the Boys Next Door.”

While “The Future Is Female” is ambiguous and marketable, “Make a Woman Cum for Once” is an unequivocal corrective that broadcasts a clear demand.

“The use of powerful slogans also hearkens back to the text-based art of practitioners like Jenny Holzer, Barbara Kruger and Katharine Hamnett,” adds Halliday. “Their work treads the line between the banal and the subversive in order to make people stop and think.”

While SisterSerpents worked anonymously, the resurgence of the #MeToo movement (launched in 2007 by activist Tarana Burke) has created a safe atmosphere for women to openly vent. Conversations about sexual unfulfillment, for example, are certainly not new but have long taken place discreetly, shrouded in shame or resentment.

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Only TWO of these puppies left (medium). Size run of S – L available at @annexvintage. 💞

A post shared by WAWA [4] luv (@wawa4luv) on Oct 17, 2018 at 9:01am PDT

Jasmine Mans, a poet based in Newark, N.J., whose work includes designing the “Don’t Have Sex with a Guy Who Won’t Eat You Out First” T-shirt, says that this particular shirt is both empowering and utilitarian. “People feel liberated; they feel in control of their body,” she says. “I hope that everybody who wears the shirt is willing to have conversations [about it], whatever those conversations may be.”

It would seem that the more precise, revealing and vulnerable the statement, the more meaningful the act of self-expression. Growing, too, is the insistence that men reckon with any discomfort they feel toward the feminist ideas they see in the world.

Designers and consumers of unreticent feminist slogan T-shirts are aware that passersby will take notice. There is also an educational impact at work. “With everything that I put on a shirt, I hope to cross a line—not for the sake of frivolous confrontation but to approach a deeper truth and a deeper conversation,” says Mans.

It would seem that the more precise, revealing and vulnerable the statement, the more meaningful the act of self-expression.

Kat Planchette, an astrologer from Salem, Mass., says she purchased L.A. designer Chris Mancinas’s “Being Emotionally Manipulative Isn’t Very Punk Rock of You” T-shirt because it resonated with her personally. “When I was in my early 20s, an older punk dude emotionally manipulated and sexually harassed me. I’m still angry about it,” she explains. “This T-shirt is a way for me to express that and to keep future creeps away. It acts like a warning label to the kind of people I don’t want to interact with.”

When I stumbled upon Mancinas’s design myself, during a grim non-breakup breakup last year, the shirt gave me a sense of power. I knew exactly what it meant to me, and I wanted others to know the same.

View this post on Instagram

HALF/HALF neon t. 100% cotton. Unisex S $45. (Sold) Sleepybbybutt.bigcartel.com. All proceeds will be donated to @may.ugali.siya ❤️

A post shared by Chris Mancinas (@sleepybbybutt) on Jul 26, 2018 at 7:22pm PDT

“[Slogan T-shirts] might force people, even momentarily, to consider something through a lens that’s different from the one they’re currently looking through,” says Brinkman. “Any time you can encourage someone to think outside of themselves, it builds empathy and promotes the potential for change.”

“Stating your position is the first step toward becoming more politically active, and sometimes it’s difficult to find the words to articulate it yourself,” says Maryam Pugh, owner and CEO of Philadelphia Printworks, who claims her company’s designs are more aligned with activism than fashion. “These conversations are more nuanced than the shirts imply, but they’re an entry point.”

“With everything that I put on a shirt, I hope to cross a line—not for the sake of frivolous confrontation but to approach a deeper truth and a deeper conversation.”

In 2009, fashion designer-activist Katharine Hamnett told The Guardian that political slogan T-shirts are “a way of people aligning themselves to a cause. They’re tribal. Wearing one is like branding yourself.” Later, she wrote in an op-ed: “A million T-shirts later, I’ve come to the conclusion that to really alter things—from climate change to women’s rights—we need legislation. Marches, petitions and fashion statements are all great, but they haven’t worked.” Perhaps the way to view this emergence of instructive, intimidating feminist fashion is not as a comprehensive revolution but rather as an amplifier of personal revelation that’s powerful in its own way.

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Write it down. Take a picture. I don’t give a fuck! #kiddbell #supportwomen #womensrights #womensmonth

A post shared by KIDD BELL (@shop.kiddbell) on Mar 4, 2019 at 3:54pm PST

Courtney Rincon, a hairstylist and makeup artist from Beeville, Tex., says she feels “strong and confident” when she wears her “Leave Him on Read” bodysuit. “For me, it’s a reminder to men that I don’t need them,” she says. “I needed to get back to my Cardi B mood.”

“[Feminist slogan T-shirts] might force people, even momentarily, to consider something through a lens that’s different from the one they’re currently looking through. Any time you can encourage someone to think outside of themselves, it builds empathy and promotes the potential for change.”

It’s not unreasonable to question the ethics of capitalizing on gendered suffering. After Trump tweeted that San Juan mayor Carmen Yulín Cruz was “nasty” in the wake of Hurricane Maria in 2017, Shrill Society’s “Nasty Woman” items enjoyed a boost in interest. But Brinkman says she doesn’t “create apparel or lifestyle objects that feed on trauma.” (To date, Shrill Society has donated $182,225 to Planned Parenthood and other charitable organizations, including Unidos Por Puerto Rico.)

It’s something that other feminist-owned apparel companies say they think about, too. “Any time something really bad happens, unfortunately, we see a boost in sales, because people are trying to find ways to share their own beliefs or invest in communities they want to support,” says Pugh.

“I think the main concern with incorporating feminist slogans into fashion is that these are always commodities, so their messages are already being co-opted under neo-liberalism and the need to sell fashion as items that are on-trend,” suggests Halliday. “That said, some of these T-shirts are so, so dark that they resist co-optation somewhat.”

“A million T-shirts later, I’ve come to the conclusion that to really alter things—from climate change to women’s rights—we need legislation. Marches, petitions and fashion statements are all great, but they haven’t worked.”

Indeed, the combative and demanding nature of the shirts means they are unlikely to become the next “Nasty Woman.” (“Are you going to wear a shirt that says ‘Don’t Have Sex with a Guy Who Won’t Eat You Out First’ to Thanksgiving? No,” says Mans.)

But it is verisimilitude, not popularity, that gives them power. “I think these slogans give people a passive way to communicate raw emotion and trauma in a world where it’s tempting to scream,” says Planchette. “Sometimes it’s just easier to buy a T-shirt.”

Shop feminist slogan T-shirts below

1/5

Feminist Slogan T-Shirts

"Nasty Woman" T-Shirt

($35, Shrill Society)

Buy Now

2/5

Feminist Slogan T-Shirts

Pussy Power's Pink "Pussy Power" T-Shirt

($40, Shrill Society)

Buy Now

3/5

Feminist Slogan T-Shirts

Philly Feminist United's "Believe Women... Or Else" T-Shirt

($32, Philadelphia Printworks)

Buy Now

4/5

Feminist Slogan T-Shirts

"Make a Woman Cum For Once" T-Shirt

($35, Shrill Society)

Buy Now

5/5

Feminist Slogan T-Shirts

Mans, Jasmine's "Sex Tee 003" T-Shirt

($47, Jasmine Mans)

Buy Now

The post The Misandrist T-Shirts That Go Way, Way Beyond “The Future is Female” appeared first on FASHION Magazine.

The Misandrist T-Shirts That Go Way, Way Beyond “The Future is Female” published first on https://borboletabags.tumblr.com/

[thesinglesjukebox]

BTS FT. HALSEY - BOY WITH LUV

[6.00]

We're prepping the comment section for ARMYs as we speak...

Ashley Bardhan: This is kind of sick, like, the good kind. I resent Halsey because when I was 13 I got annoyed that her name is Ashley (my name), but she made it Halsey (different name). I really can't stand the flow of the rap sections in this song. Triplet, triplet flow. This song reminds me of mayo. Take from that what you will. [7]

Iris Xie: Tastes like Melona-flavored soft chews, chased down with mini matcha Kit-Kats. The "ooh-wahs," the clipped melodies, and the gentle and easy "oh my my" hook, combined with Halsey living out her K-pop girl group dreams with her exclamations ("I want it!") is a breezy, sugary, feel-good mixture. This results in something that sounds both like a throwback to older K-pop (Sweetune's guitar-heavy productions and the chewy, brusque-lite rapping style come to mind here), but it also sounds slightly newer, since the production decides to go for relaxed, airy grooves to balance out the hooks instead of 2011-style pop maximalism. The only thing missing that would elevate the song is a reworking of the rap flow so that it would sound less like an intrusive interruption that competes with the song's hooks, which hold it back from launching all the way into its 2019 vibe. The summer songs are blooming and ready for the picking, and "Boy With Luv" is prepared to launch for your next pool party. [6]

Alfred Soto: The lilt in the chorus is closer to Latin pop circa 2000, which shows BTS's stylistic fungibility. Meanwhile, an organ whistle adds a welcome note of discordance. [6]

Thomas Inskeep: They can do better, they've done better, I expect better, and they really don't need Halsey. [4]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: A poorly mixed and awkwardly shoehorned rap break. Extremely basic disco-lite instrumentation that K-pop has been doing for ages (and with far more gusto). A totally unnecessary Halsey feature that only exists to perpetuate BTS's continued reign in the West. It turns out the nondescript title is perfect: this is innocuous, confectionery pop that appeals to the masses because it doesn't have the guts to double down on anything particularly interesting. Even if you didn't like "Fake Love" and "Idol," you couldn't complain that they sounded so devoid of ambition. [3]

Katie Gill: It's a very ballsy move for Halsey to attach her name to a song where she might as well be a session singer and a music video where all the BTS boys blow her out of the water with their dancing skills, but a paycheck is a paycheck. At least she'll get a cut out of the proceedings when ARMY spams this play-by-numbers, middle-of-the-road song all over the internet, turning something just okay into something annoyingly inescapable. [6]

Katherine St Asaph: For the past several days, BTS stans have been tweeting furiously at me, and I assume other music writers, despite my having written literally nothing about their new material except a joke about the acronym "behind the scenes." There's currently a flare-up of Discourse about musicians vs. critics, but it doesn't account for the confusing but ongoing scenario of being yelled at about a review I didn't write. So it comes as an actual relief that this is a very enjoyable neo-disco song, and I can honestly tack a nice, reassuring big number on to this blurb. May whatever applicable god please accept this sacrifice to restore my mentions. [7]

Joshua Copperman: After the past week, I am afraid of BTS stans, so I'm very glad I like this. The guitar line reminds me a lot of early 2010s pop, but the rest of the production has the restraint inherent in this part of the decade. Genius tells me this is like a victory lap after their earlier song "Boy in Luv," and as someone who is a sucker for meta-references, I can get behind that. [7]

Jessica Doyle: On first listen this was a hard [0], Jimin's Cathy Dennis channeling notwithstanding. There's fanservice, and then there's publicly disavowing your previous save-the-world ambitions to better love ARMYs, which rings thoroughly hollow. There's fanservice, and then there's trying so hard -- grins, winks, pastels, trap interludes, even Jin cooing "Come be my teacher," for Christ's sake -- that it ends up calling attention to the very set of circumstances it may be designed to obscure, which is that BTS has become the best-known product of an industry steeped in corruption, exploitation, and rape. (To preempt the reply: no, the guys haven't been accused of anything, and no evidence has surfaced against them. But if they really are worth billions to the South Korean economy, then a lot of people have a lot of incentive to block even innocuous reports about them, let alone the potentially truly horrifying.) Having read more -- though I haven't gotten to RM's breakdown of the lyrics yet -- I don't think the most cynical reading is the best one. I think BTS is trying to convince themselves as much as their audience. "Boy With Luv," while still not my style, feels less now like a total misfire and more an effortful, deliberate commitment. (Meanwhile I choose to believe they're not all sadistic rapists using the group chat to make fun of the women they brutalized. But then, I would.) [5]

Alex Clifton: I saw BTS last October and ended up having a very expensive panic attack. It wasn't my first BTS show, but my friends and I bought pit tickets together and we were all determined to have an Extravagantly Good Time. Between purchase and show, though, I went through a bout of extreme depression. I cared about running, petting stray cats, and making it to the end of each day, in that order. Listening to music was particularly painful, as my brain punished me by taking away the one thing in life that has always kept me afloat. I forced myself to go because I'd spent so much money already, figuring going through the motions might help me feel better. In the pit, though, I left my body; I was surrounded by people who were incandescent with excitement while I couldn't conjure any joy. I saw doom lurking in every face around me, telling me you're not a real fan if you're not excited, you don't deserve to be here, how dare you even show up, you ought to be ashamed. I considered leaving the show but stayed (again, money) and spent the entire time numb, observing rather than participating. For me, the most devastating part was thinking I could never love music -- or anything -- again. BTS had seen me through a depressive spell in 2017, and suddenly one of the brightest things in my life was slipping out of my grasp. It was a scary, weird night. But I've been doing better since October. I'm on different meds. I stopped insulting myself constantly. Music no longer makes me want to crawl out of my skin. I was wary of listening to "Boy With Luv" as the first single After the show; some BTS songs can still trigger anxiety responses and teleport me back to a bad time. I prepared myself for disappointment. But for the first time in months, I woke up with excitement at 5 a.m. to watch the video as it premiered, actual butterflies in my stomach. And I fell in love with this song. I love the "oh my my my" hook. I love the disco-funk. I love how it makes my heart light up like summer. I love the fact that Halsey sings in Korean (!!!) so this isn't a Justin Bieber "burrito/Dorito" "Despacito" disaster. I love that this is a counter to "Boy In Luv" which is such a macho take on impressing girls when "Boy With Luv" shows that the strongest relationship happens when you love yourself. Most of all, I love the fact that I can hear a song and feel happy once more. It's the greatest gift I could ever receive. [9]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]