just saw this girl on tinder that i had the most insane rollercoaster thing with in college but she now identifies as a goth dyke and let me tell you… i swiped right so hard but almost didn’t because i wanted to keep looking at her pictures. she looks the same, just different style but it suits her so so well. and as ya’ll know i am a whore for goth/alt aesthetics to my colorful dyke look. the contrast is so giving but it just so happens to be what im usually drawn to. if we even go out to coffee and end up making out over this, it will have been worth the swipe. even if nothing, it was still totally worth it. i cannot lie, she was such a disaster in college though and nearly tanked an entire group project for me but my professor was also a lesbian (shoutout to this professor bc i loved her so much and she really cared about me) and she was like “hey allura,” and proceeded to tell me that this girl was a less experienced gay than i was and was clearly very obsessed with me (cause apparently she had gone to our professor to talk about me and had accidentally dropped a weird amount of concerning info??) and so my professor was going to separate her from me as much as possible (cause at that point she was like causing a crazy ton of issues for my school stuff and in my social life) but i mean… she was/is REALLY hot. her intensity was really sexy and the way she was so shameless was ALSO very sexy. plus i mean, even though she was doing wild shit it wasn’t like she was an awful person. i found her to be super yummy in all respects and was really shook when she flew off the handle and was basically harassing me. now this all sounds really insane i know but… ugh i want her so bad and i really hoped that some years apart would change those toxic obsessive pieces so let’s hope yes and find out
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“Can't remember when we walked past the O.R. sign!
(sur-ger-y!)
Can't remember passing out with her hand in mine!
(my-my-mind!!!!)
I remember waking up with my mind repaired.
(A-OK! ^^)
I remember when I realized, she wasn't there...”
Amnesia was her name….. is. so. horrifically. sadly fitting for these two in literally every single line. And I’m gonna NEED ALL OF U GUYS TO GO LISTEN TO IT NOW OK… THIS ISNT A DRILL GO GO GO GO!!!
Anyway… uhh. the fact Betty “blessed” this guy to like. An eternally long lifespan w THIS FUCKED UP OF A MENTAL STATE IS SO SCREWED UP GHGH- Like poor Simon god damn…! u kno he’d rather just keep on not sorting out his baggage and trauma forever too cuz it’d be too complicated… too much… force him to admit things about himself and about BETTY that he really really doesn’t want to… better to just leave it all unexamined.. pack it all into lil boxes so he can just try to ignore it and pretend it doesn’t exist… HE GOTTA LIVE FOREVER W IT THO… *ME BANGING ON SIMONS DOOR AT 3 IN THE MORNING*: “SIMON U GOTTA ACCEPT URSELF!!!! LOVE URSELF!!!! ACKNOWLEDGE N ACCEPT EVEN THE “BAD” PARTS OF URSELF!!!! SIMON PLEASE!!!!! SIMON EVEN PPL WHO LOVE YOU AND WHO YOU LOVE CAN HURT YOU!!!! ACKNOWLEDGE IT!!! ACKNOWLEDGE THE HURT AND ACKNOWLEDGE UR FEELINGS!!!! AND URSELF!!!!! SIMON!!!!” anyway… gGHGH YEA, SRRY. SIMON PETRIKOVS MENTAL ILLNESSES MAKE ME FEEL LIKE IM GONNA EXPLODE. ANYWAY HAVE SOME ART. W a bunch of diff versions cuz I’m indecisive!
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I loooove the jp fandom's headcanon that geeta and larry are childhood friends who met during their time in the academy and, sometime in the future, geeta personally recruited larry to work for the paldean pokemon league, as she must be one of the first people who knew of his prowess in pokemon battling! Like yeah, the whole geeta being a "strict boss who is frustrated by larry's stubborn insistence to be an average worker that she has to assign him different workloads just to broaden his horizon" idea is intriguing, but stepping it up a notch by making geeta be the "best friend a.k.a the only one who has seen larry at his very best and his very worst, and knows for a fact that he could excel at anything he put his mind into if he steps out of his comfort zone, so she doesn't particularly drag him out of said zone, but pushes him out of it each time she can because she can't bear to see her best friend be unaware of the good chances and positive things that awaits him out there, not if she has a (small) say in it" is also downright hilarious 😭🤚
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its actually insane how much ill stop caring abt a fic when the main couple just gets together and thats it. like. thats it? the next chapters are just pure fluff and you expect me to careee?? im GONE brother, the confession happens and then im off to the next fic. like in what world is the confession not the climax of the entire story? ig im just slowburn brained but honestly i just dont even see the appeal of anything else cus like what even is a story if there is no angst happening like its not even a story anymore its just FLUFF. ig i just really do not like fluff like ohhh my god i do not careeeee i dont careeeeeeeeee where is the drama the romance the bloodshed
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alright chat . it's time for "dissecting the inherent tragedy of transformers: botbots and the relationships in them":
toxic doomed yuri edition ( referring to these two ↑ )
(yes, i made this picmix myself 4 this. i have no regrets. also no tl;dr because you guys NEED to read this)
something i want y'all to understand is that it is Not about the idea that spud wasn't loved. he was VERY much loved by everyone, ESPECIALLY burgertron.
the whole point is that he sabotaged himself in the process of ruining someone else's life, someone who valued him and his word above others. he and burgertron BOTH let their ego get in the way of their personal lives, the only difference is that burgertron at least had the dignity to swallow his pride and apologise when it mattered most.
He gave spud a second chance because he loved him. because he recognised that he does deserve redemption, and above all else, he wants spud to know he cares, even if that means he'll never see him again, or they'll never be friends. (Even in light of the "sidekick" comment, i genuinely don't think he held any inherent malice in that statement. even if burgs was an egotist, he still loved him.)
the worst thing burgertron did in their relationship was be unaware, and im sure that despite his ego, he never meant for spud to get hurt. that's why he went out of his way to protect him, when he couldve just stood there and let spud get put on the back of a truck to never be seen again. it would have been easy.
but he didn't. he did the hard thing. the Right thing. he stood up for someone who never did the same for him.
Spud Was Loved.
Spud Is loved.
and sometimes love isn't going to look pretty, or manifest in holding hands and cuddling, and it isn't all rainbows and sunshine. it can hurt.
it can be letting go of someone who you hurt by accident, who you never meant to harm, but it happened anyways because you made the fatal mistake of being oblivious.
And that's what Burgertron did. he let Spud go, because he understood they both needed time to heal on their own terms. regardless of if he's mad at him or not, he does still harbor positive feelings for him, and he stood up for him during times he probably shouldn't have. If he ACTUALLY hated spud, he wouldn't have stuck his neck out for him at bot prom. or believe spud when he was lying through his teeth in the games.
And that's what makes them so tragic. perhaps in another world, another life, they'd have been Actual good friends, who truly stuck by each other. maybe things would have been different.
But we'll never know that now, will we?
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I made and deleted a post about this a few weeks ago but I've been thinking a lot about projecting onto toxic ships/dynamics in fiction, and not onto the romantic parts ("I relate to Pete in Vegaspete because I want someone to unlock me to human touch") but onto the very toxic parts ("I relate to Vegas in Vegasporsche because he's lying his ass off and orchestrating Porsche's downfall, and mentally blaming Porsche for everything he's planning to do to him, for believing the wrong things and choosing the wrong side, AND for falling for Vegas's obvious facade! Dummy I've always been your enemy it's SO OBVIOUS!! Yet in the moment, when they're riding bikes or hugging and Vegas is compartmentalizing, he does genuinely care about Porsche and feel honest affection for him, and that's what sells the lie... and makes Vegas hate himself for his traitorous weakness and want to sabotage any sincere moments they have"), and how huge this distinction feels to me.
So I wanted to do like a Tell me the most toxic fictional thing you overidentify with meme.
Not sure that's the best way to word it, and you don't have to (and probably shouldn't) explain why, but like. Don't tell me "I relate to Korn as a parent;" tell me "I relate to Korn when he's preventing his children from competing by pitting them against their cousins instead, because he can blame that on their grandfather and his brother and not himself, and pretend his kids are fine and it's just the cousins who are getting destroyed". Does that make sense? This way also I don't have to know your toxic blorbo to understand your toxic emotion.
Anyway do it
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Guys the huddy breakup scene fucking me up so bad What thefuck. I KNEW IT WAS GONNA HAPPEN BUT I STILL. I
GOD ITS JUST SO CRUEL FROM HOUSE'S PERSPECTIVE? AND I UNDERSTAND WHY CUDDY DID WHAT SHE DID BUT WE'VE BEEN WITH HOUSE THIS WHOLE TIME AND WE SAW HIM IN REHAB!!!!!!!!! AND WE SAW HIM DETOX AND WHAT HE DID TO GET BETTER AND CUDDY JUST OUTRIGHT STATING THAT SHE DOESN'T THINK HE CAN BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN AN ADDICT IS FUCKING HEARTWRENCHING?
Like i genuinely love cuddy soooooososososo much so much,,,,, i know the truth always hurts no matter what hoops you try and jump through but god its fucking heartwrenching. Its an absolute gutpunch when you take into account everything house did to try and become more than a miserable misanthropic vicodin-addicted bastard. And then one of the only two women he's ever truly loved tells him that his best is not enough. House could jump through rings of fire but it still wouldn't be enough because "that's just how you are." "I can change. I can be better." "I don't think you can." Dude im fucking heaving man
LIKE ITS LOGICAL!!!!!!!!!! ITS UNDERSTANDABLE!!!!!! BUT THE THING IS THAT THE TWO SINGULAR PEOPLE IN THE WORLD WHO LOVE HOUSE UNCONDITIONALLY (WILSON AND CUDDY) ARE THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF THOSE ADJECTIVES WHEN IT COMES TO THEE GREGORY HOUSE!!!!!!! ENABLERS BY DEFINITION ARE IRRATIONAL AND ILLOGICAL AND I THINK ANOTHER REASON WHY THE BREAKUP GRABBED ME BY THE BALLS AND TWISTED IS BECAUSE I GENUINELY NEVER COULD'VE IMAGINED CUDDY WOULD SAY THAT? I COULD JUST BE IN DENIAL?? BUT FOR CUDDY TO COMPLETELY END THINGS WITH HOUSE AFTER HE RELAPSES A SINGLE TIME AFTER GOING DRUG-FREE FOR OVER A YEAR WAS GENUINELY UNTHINKABLE TO ME? LIKE UNIMAGINABLE
God its fucking me up so bad. Its just fucking me up so bad. The only woman you've loved in 10 years tells you outright that your best will never be enough and there isn't a thing you can do about it. That your flaws and your vices are inescapable and inseparable from who you are as a person. Who you are as a person is why she can't bear to be with you. You do everything and it's not Enough Gggod DUDE
And god the fucking parallel between the s6 finale scene and the scene that follows after cuddy ends things with house. Dude i cant even talk about it like ill actually throw up (is gonna talk about it) HOUSE IS IN THE EXACT SAME POSITION House is slumped against his bathtub orange bottle of vicodin in hand and staring at his palm where two white pills lie. The scene exactly parallels its predecessor and both you and house almost hope they both end the same way .House looks at the doorway eyes swollen and red but no wilson no cuddy no one comes to save him from himself and he forces the vicodin into his mouth like a man sentenced to be publicly hung wounding the noose around his own neck. The stark parallels between the two scenes are just fucking me up so bad god man i dont know. I sound like a youtuber rightnow but i am genuinely just so absolutely ruined and need to find solace.......................... I know theres no rationalising this kind of thing but do u think house truly is inseparable from his vices........... Do you think he could've been the life partner cuddy needed without leaning on drugs.............. I know house got better i know he can be better even without the aid of vicodin but is there a universe where gregory house could ever be enough for lisa cuddy. God idont even care anymire im throwing up part of my lung
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