#from the archangel gabriel. i mean he knows heaven's toxic

[everysongineverykey]

we got a crowley version of the aziraphale church feelings realization scene. i think we deserve an aziraphale version of the scene where crowley (as aziraphale) sees how horribly the other angels treat aziraphale and gets a cold, cold look on his face. i think some angel, or even god, should scoff at crowley for trying to do something good, like get the second coming out of harm's way, or give aziraphale a lift, or let someone he doesn't trust borrow his car, or get them some hellfire, or something, and go "it's almost funny how aziraphale thought you could come back. as if you could fit in up here. as if anyone would forgive you." and aziraphale should get the iciest, bleakest look on his face as he realizes there was never any chance of heaven taking either of them as they are.

[itsclydebitches]

Just finished Good Omens 2 and I'm honestly boggling at the Aziraphale hate because yes, his decision led to the angsty cliffhanger, but it makes SO much sense for his character. Not just in a "Religious brainwashing and sunk-cost fallacy" kinda way but also a "Aziraphale has no reason to believe this isn't the perfect solution" way. That scene among the nebula is crucial because it establishes that Crowley loved being an angel—reveled in his ability to create and allow his creations to grow kinda like plants—and the only problem was that someone else was calling the shots, someone who wouldn't listen to his criticism. Aziraphale has also spent 6,000+ years watching Crowley do good, all the while forced to deny the fact that he's "nice" lest embracing his original nature get him into trouble with hell. Now, Metatron comes along with an offer that fixes everything in one fell swoop. Crowley can be an angel again, be nice without censure, his ideas and criticisms will hold weight because he'll be answering to Aziraphale, and they'll be together.

It strikes me that Aziraphale isn't there when Crowley sees Gabriel's trial, ergo he likewise doesn't see the (non)acknowledgement that there's an institutional problem up in Heaven. There just happen to have been two archangels who called it quits. Same when Gabriel blurts that phrase out to Crowley. Aziraphale has always been more blind to the ways in which Heaven is "toxic" (for very understandable reasons) and this season he's continually sheltered from new evidence of its structural problems. The plot just preaches to the choir: Crowley. He likewise wouldn't see the conflict Gabriel and Beelzebub have caused as evidence of an underlying problem because that's a problem he and Crowley will no longer share. Why would they be worried about Heaven still being unable to accept partnerships between angels and demons when Crowley will no longer be a demon? And that's something he presumably wants based on Aziraphale's memories of him and the ongoing admission that he's lonely.

The way I see it, they got what they thought they wanted at the start of Season 2. Heaven and Hell are keeping an eye on them, but functionally they're left alone. Crowley can spend all the time he wants with Aziraphale and nothing comes of that except that they're both continually named traitors and the higher-ups grumble about it. If Gabriel had never shown up, things should have been perfect based on Crowley's "Let's just run away and have each other's company" standards. Better, even, considering that they get to be together on their beloved Earth, rather than being bored out in Alpha Centauri without any sushi, plants, books, or Bentleys. And yet... Crowley doesn't strike me as particularly happy. Because, you know, based on that kiss he wants to be with Aziraphale, not just literally be with him, but the point of this post is that his "Let's run away and be an 'us'" falls totally flat when he doesn't explain that specific desire to Aziraphale; the desire to change what an 'us' means. From Aziraphale's perspective they're already an 'us.' That was the entire point of "our side" in Season 1 and now they can continue to be 'us' up in Heaven. Plus, Aziraphale likely sees this as a sacrifice on his part. He will give up his bookshop, his Earthly indulgences, take on the responsibilities of leadership (which I don't think he actually wants for a variety of reasons), and spend the rest of eternity in a place where he's felt so small because he thinks that's what Crowley wants. Crowley was happy as an angel. Crowley wanted them to be together without risk of permanent discorporation. They were able to achieve that after not-Armageddon and he still wasn't happy... so surely those two things together will do the trick. Crowley never actually articulates how he wants their relationship to change and the kiss comes much too late, when he's already rejected what Aziraphale must see as a perfect, selfless solution he's secured for them. Even if Crowley wasn't always moving too fast for him, an overture of romance isn't going to go well after that.

Is this crushing and angsty and devastating as a hiatus? Damn straight, my heart it breaking. But it's a good setup. More importantly, it makes perfect sense for their characters, particularly when they're still talking past one another. Aziraphale is someone who has always moved more slowly as a matter of course, as an angel he has remained immersed in the rhetoric of Heaven, his main avenue of breaking free of that (Crowley) has a huge communication problem (to say nothing of his own denial. He only made headway with the help of Nina and Maggie, seconds before Aziraphale shows up), and Metatron (in a no doubt incredibly manipulative manner) has just offered Aziraphale a job that presumably makes him happy AND Crowley happy AND allows him to maintain the moral this-is-how-the-universe-works perspective he's had since he was literally created. Of course he's going to say yes to all that!! And sure, there are problems in Heaven, Aziraphale isn't completely blind, but he can fix them now that he's in charge. How? Well... he'll figure that out later! Kinda like how he's been making plans on the fly this entire season. That seems logical from his perspective, right? It's not like he's gotten a crash-course in the concept of the master's tools never being able to dismantle the master's house...

[amuseoffyre]

Here’s the thing about the big fall-out: Crowley and Aziraphale are operating under very very different interpretations of what has just happened in the bookshop.

From Aziraphale’s point of view: Gabriel turned up on his doorstep and told him that something terrible was going to happen to him. He vaguely alluded to things being better if you were just with that one other person. He hummed a love song. Then the dukes of hell and archangels all arrive and the big reveal is that Gabriel and Beelzebub are in love. He doesn’t see Gabriel’s memories or anything that would explain it otherwise.

The archangels/demons tell them “If you leave you can never come back”, which is - based on Aziraphale’s past behaviour and experience and fear of being cast out - would suggest that this the bad thing Gabriel was referring to.

Aziraphale assumes Gabriel is being cast out because he fell in love with a demon.

From Crowley’s point of view: He knows that heaven and hell are hunting for Gabriel and doesn’t know why. He knows that Aziraphale’s life will be in danger from both sides and that’s why he agrees to hide Gabriel, as much as he knows “it’s too late now. It’s always too late”.

And then he goes to Heaven to find out wtf is really happening and discovers that Gabriel not only defied the commands of Heaven and his designated role of Supreme Archangel, but that he was about to be stripped of his memory and authority, pared back to the lowest of Scriveners. Gabriel was about to lose everything because he decided to stand against Heaven’s plans.

Crowley knows that the terrible thing that was about to happen to Gabriel was his demotion and erasure of his memory for defying Heaven’s plans, but he doesn’t have the time to tell Aziraphale because everything is happening all at once in the bookshop.

And this is where the tragedy comes in about their misunderstanding.

Aziraphale’s assumption that a demon and angel being in love and being together means being cast out, alone, exiled to who knows where. So when he’s given the opportunity to guarantee they will be somewhere safe together with the means and position to keep themselves safe, he is absolutely going to take it.

But Crowley never saw the Gabriel/Beelzebub relationship like that. He knew Gabriel was being cut down because he decided to take a stand against heaven. Heaven didn’t know about the Beelzebub relationship. That was a non-entity in Gabriel’s demotion. Crowley knows that if Aziraphale goes back to Heaven, it’s the same Heaven that cast out both him and Lucifer (as well as the legions of the damned) and would have cast down Gabriel if it wouldn’t have been awkward for them. As they said, it’s an institutional problem.

If Crowley had had five minutes alone with Aziraphale to explain what he saw in Heaven and why it really all happened, before the Metatron turned up. But the Metatron showed up just in time to begin the mind games.

And by the time they have a few minutes alone to talk things through, both of them are too wound up and on edge. Aziraphale is giddy in the belief he and Crowley can be safely together and make things better in a Heaven that Crowley knows for a fact is still murderously corrupt and will turn on them both as it has before. They both want the same thing: to keep each other and themselves safe, but neither of them realise the other doesn’t have all the details of what’s happening.

“You don’t understand what I’m offering you,” Aziraphale says and he means safety, security, protection. “I think I understand it better than you do,” Crowley replies, because he knows what a toxic cesspit Heaven is.

[daisygrayce]

It's not miscommunication that's the problem

TL;DR - Crowley and Aziraphale can't talk about heaven and good because those things don't mean the same things to them. Their experiences are fundamentally different, so they will always miscommunicate and misunderstand.

OK. I know I have 3 big things going against me: you don't know me, this is amazingly long and miscommunication is the problem. Please hear me out.

In a simple view, miscommunication is the problem but the cause of that miscommunication isn't the fundamental issue. Aziraphale and Crowley are two fundamentally different beings and I don't know how they can bridge that experience gap. Heaven, the Plan and especially God are different CONCEPTS for our boys. It starts with who they were as angels when they were both in heaven BEFORE the beginning.

From the moment Crowley calls Aziraphale to help, we are aware that Crowley is a powerful angel. It's also apparent that he's excited, engaged, joyous and creative; all things we will see less of when he is on earth. I don't it occurs to him to introduce himself to Aziraphale partly because he is so engrossed in unleashing his passion project and partly because he's used to being recognized. In their discussion, two major facts become clear about how we need to frame Crowley's relationship with God, the Plan and heaven. First, his relationship with God and the ineffable Plan is personal. More so than just how he believes in it, but that God is his Mother and Crowley's experience with heaven much more resembles a family or close network and less a disembodied corporation. His comment about Gabriel coming to look at his statue in the graveyard is that of a brother, not the distant observation of an archangel in authority.

Second, we see that his understanding of the Plan is that it is dynamic and evolves to always push forth the greater good for everyone. "Good" isn't an abstract to be applied but rather a mandate to be lived. It's beauty and peace and love and wellbeing. I believe from the moment he hears that things will end in 6,000 years, Crowley believes that there is a misunderstanding between what God wants and what her "staff" is executing. I think for him heaven and God are two distinct entities and that heaven fucks things up (means to an end) when his somewhat flighty, even a little vain, Mother isn't paying close attention. We see his disgust in the Noah, Job and Caligula minisodes, part of that disgust is disbelief that his Mother could be that cruel, another part disbelief that heaven could be that stupid and inefficient.

If I were doing a literary analysis, I would say that Crowley is representative of our personal relationship with God and spirituality. Crowley's trauma with the fall is more about being rejected as a child for disappointing his Mother, than not being part of heaven and the good guys. We see that when in crisis he talks directly to God (ex. when hell figures out he's lost the Antichrist or "Oh God." when Aziraphale rejects him). In the Job minisode, we see him wistful for the opportunity to ask God a question, to talk to her. For him "heaven" is toxic because of how the corporation is executing the Plan. God and goodness is not. He rejects being reinstated as an angel because he doesn't need to be a "good guy" or have the corporation's mistake fixed. He wants the "furniture of his Mother's love and family relationships" to be restored. That's beyond the power of heaven and it's something that Aziraphale fundamentally doesn't understand.

Aziraphale is a lower functioning angel in heaven who is constantly helping. He experiences heaven from a more distanced perspective. He is raised in the confines of heaven, the corporation, and has the structure of this organization repeatedly forced on and drummed into him. Heaven never treats him well and he does experience a tremendous amount of trauma. He struggles with the need for affirmation and approval and is so aware that his co-workers don't think highly of him. From a literary standpoint, I'd say that Aziraphale represents our relationship with organized religion and society as a whole. "The Almighty" isn't a personal concept for him. It never occurs to him to directly address God, even if he knows that she's ultimately running the show. He appeals to a higher authority, but never God. Sadly, I don't think that Aziraphale ever experiences a parental relationship or a family's bond, ever. I think that lack makes the ineffable plan an esoteric concept that he should aspire to even if he doesn't really get it, much like a corporate mission statement. It's not until he has to "act local" and is suddenly presented with the ugly consequences of the Plan that the plan becomes real. To his credit, in that moment of realization, Aziraphale works his ass off to fix it for the better (see the Job minisode) usually with Crowley's help. I love him desperately, but he's not a global, big picture guy as we see in the end of season two ending. He thinks he's offering Crowley salvation and a chance to be together and do that ineffable "good" he clings to, however, Crowley sees the global concrete implications for not only them, but the rest of everything.

Aziraphale would never intentionally hurt Crowley. For him, reinstatement to heaven is like checking a box, righting a gross wrong. He knows that Crowley is good, that's not at issue. He cannot fathom that overwhelming wealth of hurt that Crowley carries from the fall, that personal judgement from God that Crowley "disappointed her." He doesn't understand that heaven can't reinstate that. Because of that inability to understand how Crowley sees God and heaven, he can't understand why Crowley doesn't want to be a part of heaven.

When Aziraphale is confronted by the archangels for conspiring with his "boyfriend" in season one, he never denies the relationship or really even blinks. I think his exposure to the concepts of love in literature has formed his view of his relationship with Crowley to unrequited love. He has physically moved closer to Crowley over the series, but he believes it has to remain unrequited because of the whole "rules of heaven" and consorting with the "enemy" thing. Crowley, bless his heart, feels love and because of its power (and probably the slow burn) relates it to the only love he's ever known, family. When Maggie and Nina explain that it's not that kind of love, he's free of the family implications. He's seen romantic love in the movies and can move forward. He even knows from Gabriel and Beelzebub that they can move forward. Then when he expresses his love, gives voice to the longing in his heart, the global implications of heaven and their plan and what he believes is confirmation of Aziraphale's judgement of him crush him.

I don't believe that Aziraphale will ever be able to understand how Crowley views God and heaven until he goes to heaven and sees the disconnect for himself. Then he has the foundation to understand why.

If you made it this far, thank you for reading.

[im-abanana]

Good omens 2 SPOILERS BELOW!

Let's start off by saying that I never, EVER expected that we would get canon Ineffable Bureaucracy, but here we are, and I'm so happy about it. 🥹

Most importantly, I'd never expected Gabriel and Beelzebub to be a mirror of Aziraphale and Crowley's relationship.

In season 1, Gabriel was the absolute fucking worst.

Self-centered, lacking emphaty, superb, following Heaven's rules to the letter, without a single question, and putting his job as an Archangel (or well, the Supreme Archangel, as we've learned this season) above all else, not really thinking much about Earth, humanity or the opposition's point of view/emotions.

Not only that, but he stubbornly refused to enjoy the life Earth- or anything/anyplace else but Heaven, really- could offer him, in the material (food, music, material objects, ecc...) and emotional sense of the term too, depriving himself of real friendship and love.

Then, he meets Beelzebub in the pub and, for the first time, he feels understood. After 6000 years of bearing the sense of loneliness authority and responsibility imply, and being stuck in his own, bigoted head, he finally finds someone who gets him.

On the other hand, Aziraphale has always been a... peculiar angel, to say the least. He has learned to perfectly blend in with the humans, enjoy their creations and Earth's delicacies, such as food, good music, books, magic tricks, etc... not only that, he "associated" with Crowley, a demon/sworn enemy, since the very beginning!

In season 1, Aziraphale defied God's plan, prevented the Armageddon and disobeyed the Archangels' orders just to keep living on Earth and keep seeing Crowley. Albeit he refuses to acknowledge it, he is a rebel, way more than Gabriel's ever been in 6000 years.

And yet, which one of the two decided not to take Heaven's crap anymore?

Who said "You're casting me down to Hell? Fine, I accept my fate" peacefully, almost happily, knowing they'd finally be with their loved one?

Who ran off to Alpha Centauri?

Who gave up everything they've worked for, everything they've ever known, everything they've believed in?

Gabriel.

And Beelzebub, of course.

To say I did NOT see this coming at all is an understatement.

Gabriel, the one filled with so much prejudice, ignorance and selfishness- his royal smugness, Crowley's words- chose Beelzebub and their happiness over everything, over God, only truly knowing them for like... what, 4-5 years (which is the timeskip between season 1 and 2)?

Aziraphale, as heartwrenching as it was to see, chose Heaven over Crowley (FOR NOW). After a 6000 years-old friendship/relationship!

Perhaps, having been so "distant" from Heaven itself, Aziraphale still sees it as something that can be "fixed" if led by the right person/angel (while Gabriel, being so involved in Heaven's management for millennia, probably knows better in that regard, and basically said "fuck it"- I mean, we've seen Metatron and God's behaviour, eesh), plus he's plagued by the guilt and fear of being a bad angel, and risk to Fall.

I believe Aziraphale still sees being a demon as a bad thing, he has this internalized idea he has yet to let go of. And I hope season 3 (hopefully, we'll get it!) will cover that.

Long story short, I loved this season, and I loved how they incorporated Gabriel and Beelzebub in the story.

Some might say their romance was "too quick", and while I would've loved to see more flashbacks, I think it fits.

The Ineffable Husbands are a slow, slow slowburn, and Aziraphale truly needs a wake-up call, to see Heaven for what it truly is: toxic and rotten, as Crowley said.

On the other hand, I liked that Ineffable Bureaucracy happened so "fast"- it's a nice parallel. Gabriel and Beelzebub- people who could be so fierce, cold, nasty and closed-minded in the past- immediately saw the love they had for each other, accepted it and let it change them completely.

Let them both become so affectionate with each other, too. Like, "my sweet", "wherever Beelzebub is, is my Heaven", "where Gabriel is, is forever my Hell", "I was coming to you", "silly angel", are NOT something I thought I'd hear 'em say 😂

Nor I thought "Everyday" would be their song.

[armageddidnt]

Can I just talk about why I’m so utterly devastated that Aziraphale chose the job in Heaven? Over being together with Crowley? First, I feel like Azirapahle should know that heaven is 100% trying to use and manipulate him by giving him this position. He has seen time and time again what literally all of the other angels think of him for remaining on earth, associating with Crowley in anyway, and literally stopping Armageddon. He is the most hated angel to exist (perhaps besides Gabriel), and he should know that none of the angels will ever truly like him or care about him. Not in the way that Crowley will. Also, he really should have learned from what happened to Gabriel. This was Heaven’s Chosen Archangel, and when Gabriel dared to choose a demon, when he dared to have a different opinion and decide that Armageddon wasn’t such a good idea after all (which is exactly what Aziraphale has done throughout the entire show), Gabriel was immediately cast out, threatened with destruction, and had all his memories erased. It is completely beyond me how Aziraphale doesn’t realize he is dangerously close to following that same path and that taking this job will leave him under the threat of such punishment for basically eternity. Gabriel was the Archangel, and even he was not safe. I know Aziraphale wants to do good, I know he wants to make a difference, but it just seems so inadvisable to do it by taking such an obviously dangerous position.

Second, another thing Aziraphale should have realized is that there’s no way Crowley would ever want to go back to heaven. Crowley said in season 1 that he won’t ever be forgiven. “Unforgivable, that’s what I am.” Crowley has been trying for the last 6000 years to convince Aziraphale that in all the ways that count, heaven is no better than hell and being an angel doesn’t actually mean you’re good. Crowley has been extremely vocal about his distaste for the Ineffable Plan, the wrath and punishment of God, and his hatred for Gabriel and any other angels that have threatened Aziraphale in the past. He’s just expressed so much dislike for heaven and God and angels that it absolutely blows my mind that Aziraphale would think Crowley would be excited about being “restored.” It just seems like such a fundamental part of Crowley‘s character: he will never be content to follow orders and he always asks questions when he knows something isn’t right. And Aziraphale is the one who should know Crowley best, and has known him for thousands of years, and apparently Aziraphale doesn’t even understand that about him. I’m not sure if I think that Aziraphale really should have known this and wouldn’t have offered the choice to Crowley, or if I’m just disappointed in Aziraphale because he did. I know Aziraphale has all the brainwashing and toxic culture of heaven to deal with, but Crowley has been trying to show him for 6000 years and Aziraphale would probably know better than anyone about the suffering that has been caused by heaven and God. (Not to mention the fact that Gabriel was able to do this and overcome millennia of brainwashing and toxic ideology in just 4 freaking years) So it’s really hard to accept that Aziraphale would be excited and take this position at all since there’s just so many reasons why it’s the absolute worst thing for him to do right now. His options are literally: the worst choice imaginable, or, be with Crowley and get everything he (or at least Crowley) has ever wanted. I know that Aziraphale still has to get to the point where he wants Crowley more than he wants heaven but damn does it hurt while he takes literal millennia to figure it out.

[wise-tortoise]

This is why the ending of Good Omens 2 made sense, actually

Aziraphale couldn't have made any other choice at the end of season 2. There was no need to spike the coffee: it was simply the only decision he could make.

Metatron came to him with coffee, saying he'd also indulged in his time. He showed him, see, Aziraphale! I'm like you! I occasionally like earthly delights too! Metatron led him to believe he was one of the good guys.

Metatron said, you were right. He said, with you in charge things can be different. And Aziraphale HAD to believe him. He had to believe that the problem was Heaven's management, with Gabriel and Michael and Uriel and Saraqael and all the other archangels. He HAD to believe in Heaven's inherent goodness, in God's ultimate perfection. Because if he didn't, he would fall.

If the problem was Heaven itself, if Heaven was toxic as Crowley said, that meant doubting God. It meant falling.

And Aziraphale knows how terrible Hell is. He knows that when Crowley saved a girl from suicide, he was recalled back to Hell and the next time they saw each other several years later, Crowley was asking him for holy water. Holy water!

And he knows that when Crowley was last judged in Hell, they tried to destroy him in a holy water bath. Of course he knows: he was there.

Aziraphale can't fall, because falling means being far away from God, and because falling means Hell, and falling means he can't do a little magic trick to protect Crowley anymore.

That's not getting into how Aziraphale, being a victim of abuse from Heaven, is very very vulnerable to Metatron's manipulation.

Now let's talk about Crowley. Many have noted how Crowley didn't mention he knew the plans about the Second Coming, and he knew what Heaven planned to do to Gabriel.

That's because he believed that "communication" would fix it. As in, talking about his feelings.

I strongly believe that - seeing how fiercely protective he is of Aziraphale and how not knowing could jeopardize his safety - he would absolutely have mentioned all that he'd learned in Heaven if Maggie and Nina, however correct and well intentioned they might have been, hadn't also tried to meddle in aziracrow's relationship themselves (after rightfully informing crowley that they were no game, and their love life was none of his business). You don't talk about your feelings, they said. They were right! But it was the worst possible time to mention it.

So that's what he did, or tried to do. He tried to talk about his feelings, and failed to fix anything. The confession actually made things WORSE for them, driving them further apart, because by that point they were speaking two completely different languages and couldn't understand each other at all.

So, with that setup, the ending we got was the only possible ending we could get.

At the end of the day, I have absolute trust that Neil Gaiman and the team will give our ineffable husbands a worthy ending, though I don't trust Amazon to let them do it at all. Please keep streaming the show and supporting the writers and actors on strike!

[dj-batman-abed]

my thoughts on the whole Metatron thing + coffee theory and why I think it makes more sense for Aziraphale to have gone back to heaven on his own accord↷ ˊ-

Aziraphale’s love for Crowley is strong and true. Which seems counterintuitive to the decision Aziraphale makes to leave Crowley for heaven; but when you take into consideration Azi’s entire character and history, it makes a lot of sense. Aziraphale’s relationship with heaven is extremely toxic, we know this. Devoting your 6000+ year life to one institution only for it to burn you is devastating. It took a massive event like Arrmegedon for Aziraphale to leave heaven, that’s how attached he was to the facade of the righteous. So it’s even more heartbreaking when you see that the archangels and other higher-ups have no qualms breaking rules and hurting people. Azirahpale was simply a soldier for their cause, disregarded and taken advantage of. Realizing something you’ve devoted your life to is a lie, is depressing. In this season we see a lot of growth for Aziraphale in this regard. Now he can admit that heaven is corrupt and flawed. Yet, Azi still stands true to his perceived purpose as an angel. He seems to see himself as a vessel for good, still lacking the sense of autonomy a human has, or even Crowley. Crowley feels little to no obligation to continue sewing mischief and mayhem, instead trudging along like the rest of us do. But Aziraphale still has a sense of holy duty, protecting others even if it puts him in danger (ex: Gabriel.) Not to mention how self-sacrifice and giving up pleasures are central themes in the Bible. 

Imagine now, how it would feel to be Aziraphale, finally getting acknowledgement from heaven and being offered a very important position. Not only that, but he sees this as his opportunity to fix the system. If he can fix it, none of the other angels (ex: Muriel) would get hurt like he had. Perhaps, even relationships like Gabriel and Beelzebub’s, or his and Crowley’s would be allowed. The Metatron even implies this saying: “You know, as Supreme Archangel, you would be able to decide who to work with. [...] I’ve been looking back over a number of your previous exploits and I see that in quite a few of them you formed a [...] partnership with the demon Crowley.” Aziraphale feels like the system he loved finally loves him back and could be worth a second chance. Of course he wants to see the good in heaven, then his early years wouldn’t have all been lies. But we know that’s not true. 

When it comes to Crowley, he has always had a defeatist attitude when it comes to heaven and hell. In his mind, both are too broken to fix, so why try? “[...] he has always dreamt of a better world but is pragmatic about the one that exists” (season two explore page, Prime Video). This makes Aziraphale’s suggestion to come with him all the more infuriating. Not only has the love of Crowley’s life offered to bring him back to the last place he wants to be, but is also at risk of getting hurt in a process that is doomed to fail. Not to mention what it would mean to Crowley to be an angel again.

Now that we’ve established a base-reasoning for why both parties don’t agree with the other, let me now try to summarize why I think Aziraphale didn’t give up heaven when he realized Crowley wouldn’t go with him. Calling back to our discussion of how heaven conditioned Aziraphale, we know they taught him he has no purpose but to serve the greater-good. So, when Azi had to make the decision between running away with his love, and fixing heaven, he was always going to pick the option that he saw as the greater good. Fixing heaven would mean all of his suffering and pinning and holding back would mean something, because no one would have to feel that way again. Additionally, Neil Gaiman reportedly liked a post by @/artyphex (<- their tiktok. I looked for the post on tumblr but couldn't find it) that reads: “Aziraphale loves Crowley so much that he is willing to rebuild heaven for him. [...]” Which implies that not only does Azi think this decision is for the greater good, it is also for the good of Crowley. I find this very interesting, especially coupled with information I learned from this ask: “Shostakovich [the artist of the records Aziraphale get’s from Maggie] was persecuted by the Soviet Government for his work, and it seems he was deeply conflicted between helping others and keeping his loved ones safe throughout his life. there seems to be a widespread belief that this piece in particular is intended to covertly convey false praises to a tyrannical government while in actually experiencing profound suffering. [...]” This could possibly parallel Azirphale's own suffering, stemming from having to leave Crowley and not being able to express that, especially to heaven. In Azi’s mind, losing Crowley is his cross to bear. If taking the job in heaven means helping those under its control, what real choice is there for an angel to make?

Aziraphale’s new position does not mean he loves Crowley less, or that the decision didn’t hurt -- it has to do with his sense of duty to do good. This is not to say I think Aziraphale can fix heaven. There is definitely “something up in the up.” 

Admitting there is a problem is always the first step. In season one Aziraphale’s arc was admitting heaven was manipulative and leaving. Him going back is -- for lack of better terms -- akin to a relapse, like going back to a toxic ex. My prediction for season three is that heaven will once more hurt Aziraphale or use him to try to get to Crowley (I really think heaven wants Crowley for some reason, and I’ve seen some really interesting theories about it. Or I think Azi will try to take down heaven from the inside.) After that, Aziraphale and Crowley might finally run away together (a person can dream.) 

Thank you so much for reading!!!

[adthedarkcowboy]

Fallen Muriel Part 4

( today a may have wrote a 1444 word narrative for school based on the ineffable husbands.) (edit: it got an A)

Crowley didn’t say a word. He just stood there,staring at his upset angel. After the argument, Crowley was sure that he’d never see him again,but there he was. Standing in front of him.

The serpent was so caught up in thought that he’d not noticed Muriel handing him his sunglasses. He took the dark sunglasses and put them on,hiding his snake eyes.

Aziraphale was trying to keep his composure with Crowley-who he believes tempted the poor ex-37th degree recording angel scrivener-,but just before he begins to yell at him, he notices something on the right side of Muriel’s neck. There,lay a little moth tattoo, similar to Crowley’s.

At this point Crowley was staring with the angel, in shock that he hadn’t noticed it later.

They were both staring at the tattoo, catching Muriel’s attention.

“I’ll give you two a moment to talk.” They said, leaving.

Falling breaks an angels cheery personality,Muriel’s especially. They’d been quiet,even though Crowley has tried to get them to talk several times. Now Hell, is what makes a fallen angel into a true demon. It’s a big change;going from a holy entity with mercy, to a demonic one with no mercy or care for others.

“They’re awfully quiet. It’s not like them.” Aziraphale said quietly.

Crowley looked over to Aziraphale, still surprised at him standing there. “What exactly do you think I did,Angel?”

“You tempted them! And you tried to tempt me away from heaven!”

Aziraphale seemed different to Crowley. Like he was turning into Gabriel-not how he is now,but before. He wasn’t like he usually was when he was mad; something in his tone was more aggressive. Suddenly Crowley’s thoughts were stopped.

“ Firstly, they’d told me they fell because of fraternizing. Secondly, how could I have tempted you away from those toxic bastards ?!”Crowley yelled.

Aziraphale seemed to blush slightly, and a couple of his tears were daring to fall out of his eyes,so he turned his head to the side,sighing semi-quietly. The tears were a mix of angry tears and actual,depressing ones.

“You know how you tempted me.” He replied barely above a whisper.

It took Crowley a moment to realize he was talking about the kiss. Aziraphale took it as a simple temptation,and not six-thousand years worth of love that’s been buried. Love that was only shown as something a friend would do.

Crowley had nothing to say-nothing that he could’ve atleast.(come on ,it’s the ineffable husbands,they suck at communicating) So he just tried to find something clever to say.

‘I’m a demon,Aziraphale. I tempt people,it’s my job.’ Is what he’d wanted to say,but he couldn’t. Something in him knew that it would make Supreme Archangel Aziraphale smite him with his flaming sword. But in Crowley’s head,that didn’t seem like a terrible death. It was either being smitten by angel, or drink some holy-water he had left. It was just a drop,but a drop was more than enough.

“Right.” Crowley started. “Well I didn’t tempt them,alright. I’m not sure who in heaven told you that,but they said they fell because Micheal told them they had been fraternizing with-”

“Micheal told them it was fraternization?” Aziraphale repeated.

“Yes, angel.” They both went silent and Aziraphale crossed him arms trying to figure out what to do.

“Listen,” Crowley started. “You and I both know how toxic heaven and hell are. We can agree on that much. And they aren’t going to just stop being toxic…I mean unless you’ve changed them.”

Aziraphale had tried, lord knows he had. He’d suggested things, but every time it was pushed to the side.But he simply couldn’t. So the only thing Crowley got was an angry sigh from his angel as a ‘no’.

“What I’m trying to get at here is that you can believe them if you want-”

“No Crowley I don’t believe them!And what I want is to….” Aziraphale shouted, straightening his unfamiliar grey blazer as he calmed down. “No. I don’t believe them, but I have to agree with them,Crowley.”

Aziraphale has gotten curious one day and asked Uriel why Gabriel was demoted from heaven, to which she showed him his file. Upon watching the reason for Gabriel’s demotion, Aziraphale collected that if he were to disagree with heaven in anyway,he’d be demoted with no memories of anything. None of crêpes, books,The Ritz, and none of Crowley.

“Well,I suppose there’s nothing more to say then.” Crowley said.

But there so much more to say. To talk about. This was their first time they’ve saw eachother in three weeks, and they both were still felt so mad. Not at eachother,but at how things ended between them. Aziraphale had to hold back his emotions every time Crowley called him ‘angel’. It was like a gift and somehow a painful reminder each time it was uttered from Crowley’s lips. But for now, this will have to do.

Aziraphale turned back around towards the door. He truly didn’t want to leave, he wanted to run back to Crowley and kiss him, like Crowley had done with him. He put his hand on the door knob(does the door have a doorknob?) and turned it,leaving the serpent alone.

The angel walked to the elevator, going back to heaven. He thought about Crowley, his bookshop, and tried to think of how Muriel would handle everything.

Finally up in heaven,Micheal and Uriel approached him.

“Well, did you get your confirmation? I had a feeling that you went down there for that reason.” Micheal said cockily.

Uriel seemed to hold back somewhat of a chuckle. “I bet that serpent lied and you surely didn’t believe,did you?”

Aziraphale back smiled at her. He could lie, very well actually. Not like a demon would, stretching the truth till it snaps in two. No. Aziraphale tells little lies.

“I did get my confirmation, Micheal. And he actually admitted to tempting Muriel.”

Micheal tilted her head to the side a bit. “Really?”

“You have my word as supreme archangel.”

[sllhouettedreams]

A LOT of people can relate to crowley because his doubt in God manifested as rebellion and apostasy. Ive not talked to a high number of good omens fans but i can't imagine a lot of devout christians are a hardcore fans of it (or neil gaiman in general lbr). Crowley is immediately relatable bc his religious trauma is made of the same stuff as most fans.

But aziraphale shows the other side to Doubt and that's just incessant faith. He believes in God's Plan even when he doubts it. Even when it hurts innocent people because he believes that god will do good.

As for the heaven and archangel side of things like..I think a lot of people blame aziraphale for the end of s2 without realizing that... both crowley and aziraphales relationship with heaven mirrors that of an abusive parent/family.

I mean we all saw gabriel tell (who he thought was) aziraphale to shut up and die. This was ONE instance we were able to see of Aziraphale being given punishment. He mentions in Paris about heaven admonishing him for 'frivolous miracles' when crowley asks him why he didnt just leave the prison himself. Like. there are so many jokes about 'paperwork' for being discorporated and well. Theres something to be said for aziraphale being more willing to deal with the aftermath of being beheaded and needing a new body than to unlock his cuffs and save himself and risk upstairs citing him again.

Then there was the whole gabriel bringing sandalphon to the bookshop and using interrogation tactics on him (blocking the exit, putting sandalphon at his back, etc). The angels are so quietly malicious- "there are no back channels, michael"- right before michael phones a demon in hell. Like!! They might be inept when it comes to humanity but they hide their cruelty so well.

Like. I dont really have the words to make this all convincing and proper or whatever and im sure someones said it before and better with more examples but like

If you think of both of them as a victim of abuse, it puts it all into perspective doesnt it? The effects of abuse are so different for everyone especially when its abuse from family. Aziraphale has only ever wanted to appease heaven and do good by them that when given the chance to do the most good he jumped right on it. Heaven has sunk its claws deep into aziraphale to use as a tool. And aziraphale doesnt even realize! Bc if he werent "doing good" then he'd have been cast out like crowley had been, right?!

And Crowley was completely cut off from heaven for asking a few questions! He remembers what heaven was like and thinks there are a number of similarities between the two. Hes been utterly convinced of his wickedness. He will not ever return not even with the promise of forgiveness. He HAS seen that heaven is "toxic" because of the absurd reason he was cast out in the first place. He was a starmaker who asked questions!! And god was what. Annoyed at being challenged?

Crowley got out because he was cast out, aziraphale hasnt been granted that luxury and wont take those steps bc who knows if the punishment will be a simple Fall or annihilation or outer darkness there doesnt seem to be any set standard. And also aziraphale still loves god and doing good and to fall would mean to be cut off from all of that to have to go to hell and do the exact opposite. If he can just change things, if he could get the other archangels to see,

Well he hasnt quite discovered that heaven works exactly how its intended to and would need to be torn down before it can be rebuilt into something like aziraphale wishes it to be

Idk i get why its easy to blame aziraphale but. Idk ive been where hes at. Like. Not specifically and angel trying to rewrite heaven but. As a child of religious parents who were also terribly abusive people. I think its unfair that people are saying he should grovel and is wrong and whatever. I dont think crowley would even want that....

Idk im just thinking v hard about good omens its taking over my life. This is probably incomprehensible im just. SAD bc i love both aziraphale and crowley and for aziraphale to be given so much shit when it isnt entirely on him just makes me emotional ok 😔

[breval]

Good Omens Season 2 Spoilers beyond the read more you've been warned! 🦆👼😈

So first of all, this season was amazing in so many ways!

We got so much backstory and so much more insight into both Crowley and Aziraphale way of thinking.

Also we have PROOF that Crowley was big in Heavens before the fall, and THERE ARE HEAVY HINTS, that he might have been an archangel, like he doesn't have ANY memories of who he was before, and that's basically what they did to Gabriel this season, (then say something about doing it twice being proof that there might be a problem with the system) ((I mean they could have been talking about Lucifer but I have doubts)) ((('cause he didn't lose his memories from what we know)))

Then the Queer rep this season is insane! (and diverse)

We've got the magician and his partner, we've got Nina and Maggie (and also Maggie failing relationship with her at the end ex partner)

And we've got Aziraphale and Crowley (and the most heartbreaking kiss I've ever seen😭)

Then the adorableness of ineffable bureaucracy (because angels and demons are neither so their relationship counts as queer as well)

Then there is Crowley, answering to somebody calling him a good man, with sorry, not either. (meaning he doesn't see himself either as good or as a man).

There are also SO MANY ACTRESSES like except from Aziraphale, Crowley and Gabriel, most of the other main characters are played by women.

Then there are some cute DW references just because, the fez for a start, then somebody said something about something being bigger on the inside. (I'm sure they were more but I'm still processing, and also I forgot stuff)

I didn't think I would feel sorry for Gabriel but I did.

The bits or tentative romance that we see between Aziraphale and Crowley are adorable and super heartbreaking considering the ending.

I love all the Jane Austen refs as well, that was a nice bonus, with Crowley as Elizabeth and Aziraphale as Darcy, I'm guessing next season is going to be Aziraphale/Darcy realisation act.

ALL the parallels between Maggie and Nina vs Aziraphale/Crowley OMG

Nina abusive relationship stopping her to see what it's on front of her but also preventing her to get into a relationship right away, after the end of the abusive one VS Aziraphale still not able to get away from the abusive/toxic relationship with heavens, which in the end prevents him from being with Crowley.

VS Crowley having realised long ago that both Heavens and Hell are toxic and so having had the time to heal some and to grow. Which Aziraphale hasn't yet.

So yeah AMAZING STUFF

but SAAAAAAD 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I'm really really really really hoping we'll get a next season because if not I'm going to cry even more.

And like everybody is blaming Neil Gaiman for the heartbreak but he enlisted John Finnemore to co-write this series with him and I would like to remind people of this because John Finnemore gave us the ending to Cabin Pressure, which I still haven't quite recovered from. So I'm sure this was partially his fault as well.

[ms-rampage]

New Dawn: New Horizons Chapter 4 - The Twins 

Warnings: Language, some violence

Word Count: 2.0k

Summary: The 5 Winchester kids meet The Twins after they invade their home. 

Guest OCs: Just the usuals

Guest Characters: Mickey and Lou. Archangel Raphael [Supernatural: Male vessel], John Seed [mentioned]

Note: Far Cry: New Dawn and Supernatural crossover. Sorry for the gaps in-betwern chapters 😖😅

Written by @athenalillystar and myself. Hope y'all enjoy!! 😁❤

Taglist: @wargames94 @vicki-the-sinner @rabbitsoldier @mrsladydiana

_________

Flashback 16 years earlier

Paige and Kate had given birth to kids. Paige had triplets, 2 boys and 1 girl, having to get a C-section with the help of her friend Cody who happens to be a doctor, and performed the surgery, and was living with them underground in the bunker. 

Kate having a vaginal birth a few weeks later, and giving birth to a little girl. Thought she would’ve been a single mother but around the time the bombs dropped, some angels had been cast out of Heaven, and one of them seeked shelter with the Winchesters, their friends, and family. Archangel Gabriel aka Trickster aka Loki aka several other names, appeared in their bunker hours after the bombs had dropped. 

He had lost about 70% of his powers, and was basically also human. Him, and Kate grew closer, and eventually developed a relationship. 

After Kate gave birth to her daughter Daenerys, Gabriel grew to love the infant, and became her father.

He protected her, he loved her in many ways possible as she got older, even though he was technically her adoptive father, her real father being John Seed. 

She always saw him as her birth father, and nothing else. Not knowing that he was an Archangel, and her adoptive father. 

________

A few days have passed. 

One morning everyone at Prosperity wakes up to the sound of an explosion outside the safehouse. 

Kim Rye alerts the Winchester-Smith compound for back up, and they immediately rush to their aid.

Paige, Kate, Kenny, Mandy, Barbara, Nate, Mark, Cody, Marty and Adrian had taken off to help out against the attacking Highwaymen.

The kids, Cristina, Bianca, Jeffrey, Thomas and Daenerys stayed back with some of the other adults. 

In case the Highwaymen attacked there, and that’s what happened. 

The Highwaymen attacked, throwing bombs and shooting at the front gates of the compound. 

“Come on they’re here!!!” Cristina yells, going to their families gun case.

All the kids each grabbed a rifle, ammo, explosives, and took their positions. 

They were all trained for something like this. Their parents trained them since they were younger than 7 years old. They all knew what to do when they were attacked. 

After wiping out all of the Highwaymen. Getting shot at, and coming out uninjured.  A gruesome battle of exchanging bullets. 

"How many did you kill?" Jeffrey asks his younger triplet brother. 

"16" Thomas answers, "You?". 

"19" he responds, with a cocky tone. A smug smirk on his face

He scoffs, "Whatever showoff". 

The 5 Winchester kids meet face to face with the Twins Mickey and Lou. Lighting off fireworks outside the gate, getting the siblings' attention.

“Oh shit!” Cristina exclaims, "Oh no" when they see they have children hostages. 

They run towards them, aiming their guns at them, and their followers. 

“Better put those down. You don’t want to scare the kids” Lou tells them. 

“Cristina” one of the 3 kids, whimpers out of fear.  

“Everything is gonna be fine kids" she reassures them, "You all better leave now!". 

Lou, one of the twins, laughs at her comment and threat, Mickey back slaps her in the face which only pisses off the elder Winchester sibling.

“You piece of shit!” she angrily mutters, as her younger brothers hold her back from bashing in her face.

“I’m sorry I just don’t like to watch people lie to little kids” Mickey tells her, a hint of sarcasm in her voice. 

“Why are you doing this?!?” Bianca asks.

The eldest Twin breaks it down to the 5 siblings. 

“Because of your hero parents” Mickey starts off, “Until they started to grow your little family Army, everything was running smoothly. But you. You all have become a fucking problem. Taking from us. Throwing everything out of balance”.

“I think we should just kill ‘em” Lou says, while holding a grenade.

Sending off the youngest of the 5 with a threat of her own. 

“Do that, and you’ll be dead before you get the chance to pull off the clip bitch” Daenerys threatens them, while aiming her slingshot with a throwing knife at Lou. Bianca lowers her weapon as the Highwaymen aim at them. The older Twin tries to calm the situation. 

“No. Hold on. We don’t want any martyrs here” Mickey intervenes, “What we want is to make sure everyone understands your help. Your whole family is a curse. Every person you help, every child you inspire, every settlement you build, we will take from you”. 

The 5 of them stare angrily at the two sisters. Wanting to kill them right there, they see the chance and it’s slipping. 

“You’re gonna have a hard fucking time doing that!” Cristina informs her, while being held back by her younger brother.

“And when you’ve got nothing, we’ll come for you” Mickey continues, getting into Cristina’s face.

“Bring it bitch!” Daenerys yells out, while Bianca and Jeff hold her back.

“Calm down Dae, calm down” Bianca whispers, trying to calm down her cousin.

Even if they’re completely outnumbered by The Twins and their followers. Cristina knows they'll have a chance at killing them, if only the small children weren't there. 

“Don’t drop it” Lou tells one of the kids, putting a grenade in his hand without the clip. 

“The only currency in this world is power” Mickey yells, “You. You made us look weak. That ends now!”. The older twin getting into Cristina’s face once again, "We are going to take everything that you hold dear. Starting with your home” she continues. 

“And if we can’t take it, we’ll break it” Lou says. 

“You ain’t taking fucking shit from us!!!” Cristina growls. Glaring up at the two. 

“Don’t be here when we come back” Mickey says, pointing at the elder sibling.  

She throws the grenade clip at Jeffrey, and he catches it. 

They get into their trucks, and drive down the dirt road. Leaving behind a trail of dust. 

“Oh god. Oh my god” Bianca mutters, as one of the kids holds an active grenade.  

“C’mere, c’mere kids” Cristina says, to the two of the kids.

Jeff puts the clip back onto the grenade. Disarming it, and taking it from him.

“Come on kids. Lets go. Lets go inside” Bianca tells the group of children, as they guide the kids back inside the compound. 

****

Meanwhile, Lucifer and Gabriel follow the sound of a high pitched static ringing, which most likely means there is an angel nearby.

“Over there!” Lucifer says, walking towards what was once Peaches Taxidermy. 

They see the silhouette of a figure, and when they get closer they see.

Their brother Raphael, pacing back, and forth. Looking lost.

He stops pacing, and looks in their direction.

“Who’s there?!?” he calls out.

“Don't you recognize your own brothers?!?!” Lucifer says, in a joking manner. 

“Lucifer? Gabriel?’ he says, in shock, “You both fell too?”.

“I’ve fallen a long time ago” Lucifer tells him, sarcastically.

“I’m one of them that fell” Gabriel tells him, “What happened?!?”. 

“I don’t know” Raphael answers. “But there are more angels out there”.

“Who else?!?” Lucifer asks.

“Michael, Samandriel, Castiel, Uriel, Gadreel and probably more” he tells them, looking around the radiated wasteland. 

“Do you know where?!” Gabe asks.

“I heard a frequency going that way” he points, towards the direction of the Drubman Marina.

“Alright let’s go” Lucifer says, already walking towards the direction.

They walk in the direction of the Drubman Marina, walking through the toxic radiation that they can’t smell, nor does it have any effect on them. 

“Do you have your powers Gabriel?” he asks.

“Very little” he answers, “I lost like 70% of my powers. What about you?” 

He sighs, “About the same. I’m surprised I can survive in this radiation”. 

“Have you tried to contact dad?!” Gabe asks. Looking at his older brother. 

“Yes. but he doesn't answer” he replies. Looking at his younger brother. 

Lucifer jumps into the conversation, “Yeah, I know. Same thing with me”

They’re halfways to the Marina, and Lucifer picks up the frequency of another angel. Looking around, trying to spot another celestial through the thick fog. 

“Where have you been Gabriel?” Raphael asks.

Before he could answer, “He was living with the Winchesters and he’s a father!!” Lucifer tells him.

Raphael looks at his little brother, “You brought in a Nephilim?!?!”.

Gabriel groans, and stammers over his words, “No, no. I didn’t bring in a Nephilim. Kate Winchester was pregnant already, and when I fell I teleported to them in their bunker because they were the only humans I knew that would’ve taken me in”.

The eldest Archangel gives his younger brother a piece of his mind. 

“Plus Mandy Winchester said you told her about Joseph Seed” Lucifer says to Raphael. 

A look of disappointment on his face, “Yes, I did several years ago. I told her about him, and that he needed to be protected. Why? Because our Father spoke to him. I didn’t know he meant for all of this to happen” he responds with his arms out. 

“Dad spoke with him for all those years. To recruit people for his “Cult” and look at what happened” Lucifer says with his arms out. 

“I didn’t know!!. I didn’t know he was going to do this!, if Joseph wasn’t protected” he defends himself.

They continue walking towards the Marina, and the pitch ringing comes back.

“Over there!” Raphael exclaims, he can somewhat hear the angelic frequency. 

A silhouette standing still with their head lowered, muttering something to themselves. 

They get closer, and they see Uriel.

“Uriel?!” Raphael calls out. 

He lifts his head up slowly, and sees his older brothers

“Raphael?, Gabriel?, Lucifer?” he questions, relieved, “Are there more of you?!?”.

“Most likely. According to Lucifer” Gabriel tells him.

*****

The 5 siblings sit at the front steps of the main house of the compound, waiting for their parents to come home.

“We could’ve killed them right then and there” Cristina mutters.

“If we did, we could’ve killed those kids too” Thomas tells her.

“We just have to wait until they come back, and maybe they can figure something out” Jeffrey says. 

They sit at the steps until their parents come back. After what felt like hours, they finally come back. They see the mess that the Highwaymen, and the Twins had caused.

“What happened?!?” Paige asks, approaching them.

“The Twins” Bianca answers. 

“Fuck!” Paige whispers in frustration, “Are you guys alright?!”.

“Yeah. We’re fine” Thomas answers. 

“What did the Twins say, or do?!?” Kate asks them. 

“They said that we better not be here when they come back, and that they’re gonna take our home” Cristina answers. 

“Like Hell they are. I’m gonna put a fucking bullet between those little cunts eyes” Kate mutters, angrily. 

“Okay, calm down, we’ll get them. We need to prepare for it. They hit us, we’re gonna hit them back harder” Paige tells them. 

“What do we do?!?” Cristina asks.

“We’re gonna need more supplies. The 5 of you can go out, and scout for more supplies. Anything you can find, and while you’re out get some intel on those little shitheads. I want to hurt them” Paige instructs them. 

They get up from the steps, and go to the garage. Taking one of the cars, and drive towards Roughneck’s Crag. Since that’s where all the best supplies are. There and that abandoned gas station near the Meatfort. 

[milasartblog]

An unexpected visit (part 5)

Both Gabriel and Lilith took more time to collect their thoughts and put themselves together. Especially for archangel, whose views were once more broken, but this time almost instantly. He looked at Lilith again.

Gabriel: How did you...meet your human?

Lilith: Well, after no success with the relationship between me and Lucifer, and after several eons and years of ruling Hell, I felt a need of someone that could fill my life with simplicity and honesty. And so I went to a mortal realm. In one of my own houses, I was ordering a pizza and half an hour later, a pizza delivery guy came to my home. That was the day when I got interested in him and so, I kept an eye on him. I felt like he was not an ordinary pizza delivery guy. One day we became friends and for several weeks we were friends with benefits.

Gabriel: I thought that it’s more typical for mortals.

Lilith: Not really~ Anyways, I learned that his name is Jeff and that he had a...difficult relationship with his family. I would say even toxic one. I was watching over them from time to time as learned more and more about his family. They wanted to use him as a tool to get richer and more powerful, while he wanted to live a simple life. And so he left them and became a pizza delivery guy.

Gabriel: Damn, there are still toxic families in this world?

Lilith: Unfortunately, yes. But such choice gave him a chance to live as he wants and be independent from his family.

Gabriel: I see...And how did he guess that you were not a human?

Lilith: It didn’t take too long as my behavior was not like any ordinary woman. But like I said before, he didn’t run away or used his force against me. We had feelings to each other, and one day we had a chat, where I told him about me and he told me about himself. Since then we’re together, and our feelings stay true and strong.

Gabriel: I see....I’m honestly surprised. 

Lilith: That’s okay~ Also, why did you ask me about my human?

Gabriel: I honestly was curious how it happened with you and if it’s different from my situation.

Lilith: Well, if you tell me about your human like I did, we will see the difference~

Gabriel: Fair point. Well, it was honestly happened unexpectedly. I was searching for good flowers to give to Raphael’s wife Rachel as in their family daughter was born and me and Michael wanted to congratulate them. 

Lilith: Aww, that’s so sweet~

Gabriel: I know, right? But in Heaven we could easily pick any flower for it, and so I thought to go to the mortal realm and see if their flowers are different from Heaven. I walked around the town, but couldn’t find anything that would sparkle even my soul. Then, I bumped into one girl accidentally. She was carrying some flowers, and if not my quick reaction, they would fall. We apologized for such accident, but when I looked at her, something changed in me.

Lilith: Like butterflies in your stomach?~

Gabriel: Maybe. But it was something so strong that made me help her carrying flowers to the flower shop, where, I learnt later, she was working. When we got there, I looked around and saw a great variety of flowers. Moreover, as a thank you, she helped me with picking up good flowers for such occasions. Not just randomly picking flowers just to mix them, but with...little sense and symbolism in them. When I thanked her for the help, she told me her name - Iris.

Lilith: That’s a very beautiful name. No wonder you have a crush on her~

Gabriel: I’m still not sure if it’s really a crush. I was watching over her, we even have met each other several times. And later, we became friends.

Lilith: I see. And you still meet each other?

Gabriel: Yeah. And yet I still can’t find the answer to my feelings.

Lilith: No need to~ You know that you like her, that’s the fact~

Gabriel: Maybe yes, maybe no. What if it’s all just a lie. What if that meeting was just an accident.

Lilith: Then why do you keep being with her if it’s all just a lie to you?

Gabriel:....I don’t know anymore. 

He looks down, sighing heavily.

Gabriel: I don’t know what to believe now, Lilith...If our Father’s laws are not perfect, does it mean that we....are not perfect too? Does it mean that...mortals don’t need us? 

Lilith: Don’t say that, silly. If something is not perfect, it doesn’t mean we don’t need them at all. 

Gabriel:...You really think so?

Lilith: Of course I do~ Or else there would be a lot of mortals with demonic powers, or worse. 

Gabriel: Well, true, but our situation is more difficult. Unlike me, your human accepted your nature and your feelings. What if Iris doesn’t? What even if she accepts my nature...but won’t accept my feelings?

Lilith: You know how mortals tend to say: you never know until you try~

Gabriel: But-

Lilith: Love is such thing that can’t be explained by books or other stuff. It’s something we feel inside our bodies and souls. You’re just afraid to do a mistake, afraid to shame your title as an archangel. And yet, look at the progress you did. Such progress is already something, don’t you think?~ Besides, even we can do mistakes when we do something first time, even we learn something from them. Same here with love. Instead of pushing it away, you tried to understand it, and for the divinity it’s a great step through their pride~

She looked at Gabriel with little, but sincere smile. He didn’t like to admit, but her sister told the truth. A demon said the truth to angel, what an unexpected turn of event for him. The memories of the past crossed his mind, the moments where Lilith sometimes cheered up him like this, even tho he didn’t ask her to do it. He smiled a bit, which made Lilith be surprise for a moment, but quickly realized what he was thinking.

Lilith: Thinking of the past?

Gabriel: Huh? Oh, well...yeah. Just remembered how we used to have such chats like now. At that time the problems were not wide-scale, and yet you still wanted to help me when I was confused. I kinda felt bad that I was not skilled enough to do it by myself.

Lilith: No need to. I did it because I felt like doing it~ Besides, we were a family back then.

Gabriel: Yeah...Speaking of the past...

Lilith: Mmm?

Gabriel: Lily...are you...still mad at me? After....

Lilith: After the moment when me and Lucifer became demons?

Gabriel: Yeah, and...after everything we did.

He locked his look on Lilith’s eyes, not expecting anything from her. Lilith was puzzled for a moment, but then realized what he was talking about as giggled softly, which made Gabriel confused.

Lilith: You still think about it?~ Really?~

Gabriel: Well, I can’t help, you know how I always overthink about everything!

Lilith: Hehe, I know~ It’s one of your remarkable features~ Still, if you are curious about it, then no, I’m not~

Gabriel:....Wait, really?

Lilith: Yep~ After all, the past is the past~ It would be not wise of me to stay in the same point, don’t you think?~

Gabriel:...Fair point. But, are you sure? We did so much stuff that were against your and Lucifer’s ideas.

Lilith: And that’s natural. There is no perfect idea, point of view or opinion. That’s what makes us unique and different, but still unite us as a family.

Gabriel took a moment to think as sighed.

Gabriel: You’re right. The past is the past, we can’t come back to it. 

Lilith: Yep~ So, what did you decide for yourself? I mean about Iris.

Gabriel took a moment to think again, analyzing everything that was said in this conversation. He felt that his relationship will take a long time like with Lilith and Jeff, and yet, deep inside he knew that feelings can’t lie. He wants to know more about Iris, he wants to be more with Iris, he wants to protect her, to just hold her hands, be someone she can rely on. But it required serious, maybe even heavy decisions.

Gabriel: It’s still too early to make a clear decision, as I’m still obedient to our Father’s laws. However, I do admit that Iris is important to me. Besides we gave a promise to each other to be good friends, so as an archangel I have no right to break that promise. When the time comes, I will tell her everything...myself.

Lilith: That’s my brother~

She pat him on the shoulder as it made him jump a bit from the surprise. He smiled to Lilith.

Gabriel: But I still can’t tell my brothers about it as I want to be sure they understand me. And hope that they will respect my choice.

Lilith: Like you did with Lucifer?

Gabriel:....I still can’t stand the thought of him doing something to Michael, but as long as Michael is fine, I’m calm.

Lilith: Sure sure~ I know how you can be “calm”~

Gabriel: Hey! Not you too!

She laughed as Gabriel made an irritated face, crossing his arms, which made Lilith laugh more.

Lilith: No need to be an angry hamster, I’m just kidding~

Gabriel: Yeah yeah, sure. Anyways, I think I will go back to Heaven.

Lilith: Aww, already?~ And not staying even for five minutes more?~

Gabriel: Well, I still have some duties to do.

Lilith: Okay, but let me at least show you how Cerberus looks like. So that you won’t have crazy thoughts~

Gabriel got nervous immediately as swallowed hard, already imagining how Cerberus looks like.

Gabriel: Ummm, I think I will live somehow without-

Lilith: Don’t be that stubborn, it’s only one chance to do it while Lucifer is not here~ Come on, let’s go~

He was about to say no, but Lilith grabbed his hand and together they went to the place where Cerberus was resting and chilling. Gabriel got super nervous as prayed that things don’t go too crazy.

-------------------

And that's the next part of the story^^ Gabriel made a not easy decision, but seems like it will take much more time for him to get used to it and to find his inner peace XD Also, how will the meeting with Cerberus go? XD

Lilith belongs to @wildstarfan and @captainthane

Gabriel belongs to @wildstarfan and @milasartblog (both me)

Okaria et Feria belongs to @wildstarfan and @captainthane

[kaesaaurelia]

the pit is prepared, the fire is made ready

For @whumptober2020 day 31: Today’s Special: Torture (specifically "experiment")

This fic has a companion piece about Crowley’s angel friend here and what happened to her after the war, but you don’t need to have read that to read this.

Satan/Crowley; brief mention of an ill-fated OC / OC pairing.  Content warning for body horror, abusive/toxic relationship with an enormous power differential.  Also, it’s not so much that Crowley doesn’t consent to any of this, it’s that Satan doesn’t care what he wants and Crowley tells himself after the fact that This Is Fine.  This is in addition to the torture implied by the prompt.

"It's not too late to stay here," Vehuel told Gadreel, and he suppressed an eye roll.

"No, no, I have to go, Lucifer wants me there," he reminded her. "I'm his favorite."

Vehuel was irritated with him, he could sense it easily. She was so ridiculously prudish about him and Lucifer, as she was about everything, as if she and Len always making eyes at each other and vanishing to take their long romantic walks around the galactic center or whatever stupid thing had been objectively less bad, somehow. At least Lucifer was interesting. He had ideas, which was more than anybody, even Vehuel, could say about Len. "I'm sure he wouldn't want you to get hurt for his sake, then," said Vehuel, snottily. "Since he likes you so much."

Gadreel suppressed his reaction to that; it wasn't Lucifer's fault he sometimes got hurt, it was only that Lucifer trusted him to do dangerous jobs and not whine about it if things got a little hairy, and she was envious of that. "I'll be fine," he said. "And besides," he added, trying to make peace, "I'd love to see the look on that wanker Gabriel's face when we storm in and take Heaven. Aren't you looking forward to that?"

"Yeah, I guess," she said, not sounding as enthusiastic as he would've hoped. "I'm just worried something bad will happen to you."

Poor Vehuel; she was always so concerned about everyone but herself. Gadreel knew things would be all right, though. It was a good thing Vehuel had him around, really, otherwise she'd never get anything done. "Besides, God told you not to worry, didn't She?" Tormenting Vehuel with that never got old; it was the only thing God had said to her, and of course, she'd worried about it a lot since then.

She snorted. "I thought we were disobeying Her now?" she asked.

"I'm just saying," he said. "Anyway, why don't you lend me some of your eyes? Then I could see trouble coming." God had run out of eyes when She was making him, so he barely had any compared to Vehuel. Well, no, he had seven at this point, but only because he'd bothered Vehuel until she'd shared her bounty of eyes with him early on in their existence.

Her halo flared, which it always did when she felt very strongly about something, and she drew her wings over herself. "I really don't want to, sorry. I'm kind of worried I won't be able to take care of myself?"

"What? No! Why?" he asked, because Vehuel had a lot of flaws, but if there was anybody who could take care of herself, it was Vehuel. She'd saved him from falling into the sun once! And she'd stopped a wayward comet from striking the Earth at the last minute, sacrificing her wings! (Then some officious bastard from Heaven had yelled at her, because it was supposed to hit the Earth, apparently, and nobody'd told them. Heaven was so useless.) And she'd always jumped between him and people who were trying to push him around, which was a little embarrassing, but also... well, it was nice, to know somebody cared that much about you. "You're bigger and meaner than me," he pointed out, "I need the eyes more."

"No, you're definitely meaner than me," she said. "Remember what you did to poor Len?"

Len had broken her heart, and he'd ruined those two gas giants, from what Vehuel told him. Of course, her account was very biased, because she still loved Len, but Gadreel could see through all that. "He deserved it! It was justice. It's not really meanness if it's deserved, is it?"

"I don't think anyone really deserves to be tied to a comet and left for a few million years until he's missed at the next all hands meeting," Vehuel said, because sometimes she wasn't any fun at all.

"Sure they do!" he said. Especially if they were Len, who had been laughing at her behind her back and making up stories about her, and Gadreel wasn't going to tell her that, but when she found out hopefully she would beat Len up and he'd be very sorry. "Anyway, you're still bigger than me."

"By a smidge, Gadreel, it won't matter if either of us has to fight -- I don't know, Michael or someone like that. Listen, how about you stay in front and I go behind you and watch out for anyone trying to sneak up. We'll work together," she said, brightly.

"Oh, fine," he said, rolling his eyes. "But you'd better pay attention." She would; he was just being an arse about it.

"I'm not gonna let anything happen to you!"

"You'd better not," he said. "I won't let you forget it if you do."

"I know, that's why," she said, and she shoved him. "You'll be fucking insufferable for eternity otherwise."

That, at least, was something he was great at. "I'm going to be fucking insufferable for eternity anyway," he assured her.

On the long flight to Heaven he felt her rage; her halo was bright, and you just couldn't hide feelings that strong, no matter how you tried. But he had assumed it was anger with Heaven -- against their cruelties and injustices, and the stupid rules they'd make up whenever something wasn't going their way, and how boring and bland they were -- and he'd let his anger mix with hers; a silent yes, I agree; yes, we will fix this; God made us and She will regret it because we may be small but we are clever and angry and a force to be reckoned with.

Having her behind him made him confident, and gave him the courage to launch himself at the first Heavenly angel they came upon. He knew what he was doing; knew how to disrupt the delicate balance of the archangel's gravity and collapse her in upon herself so that she couldn't attack them, and he knew with Vehuel behind him, the archangel couldn't possibly get at him first.

But then a terrible feeling -- pain -- spread across his body, before the archangel even noticed anything amiss, and Gadreel looked back, only to see Vehuel holding something long and sharp; a line of pure force. It glowed with a light that was not Lucifer's, but God's.

He stared at her; stared at the thing she held. She must have been carrying it this whole time, and it hurt, and she had used it to hurt him, and --

A seraph bumped into her, and Gadreel used the moments to gather himself together and hide from her. Had she... had she been angry at him all along? He watched her throughout the battle, keeping his distance, keeping away from her, and saw her slash at all their friends -- well, all his friends, they hadn't really liked her -- had she been envious, maybe, that he'd had other friends? Was that it? And then he saw her speeding towards Lucifer, something bright clutched in her hands, and Gadreel knew that she must hate all of them so much to put herself in danger from a fucking supernova just to kill everyone else. He sped away before the flash of heat and light, and avoided any damage, but he saw her, furious and hurting and burning as Heaven's forces dragged her off the battlefield.

--

Vehuel's trick with the supernova hadn't killed Lucifer, but it had cost him a lot of his forces, and Heaven -- who had been outnumbered at first, because apparently half of them were stuck in a meeting with Gabriel -- had defeated them easily after that. God, in Her infinite cruelty, had relegated them to some lower place, some other plane, which was somehow both uncomfortably chilly and unbearably hot at the same time. Gadreel lay in that place, having barely made it out of the pit of boiling sulfur. Everything hurt, and he felt bound by gravity, of all the stupid things, and the spiral of his body was unwinding as he made his way away from the lake of sulfur, pulling himself with his hands.

Gadreel could see others crawling out of the sulfur around him, and a few even still falling into the lake with horrendous splashes. "Come on, come on, get moving!" snarled somebody, and Gadreel thought she looked like one of the cherubim who'd been at some of Lucifer's meetings. He couldn't remember her name, but he was pretty sure she hadn't had scales before. It was clear she thought she was very important, on account of being a cherub, and Gadreel instantly disliked her.

Still, she seemed to know what was going on. "What's happening?" he asked. "Can you help me? I think I'm... broken," he said. Ugh, his whole core was trying to stay curled, but he'd been absolutely maimed so it was just lolling out weirdly to the side. It wasn't comfortable at all.

"No! Too much to do," she said. "And besides, that would be counterproductive. We're supposed to be being evil now," she said, sniffing.

"Evil?" The concept was foreign to Gadreel, and he waited a few moments for it to filter into his understanding. "That's stupid, though, isn't it? God kicks us out and claims to be Good so we've got to be Evil in defiance?"

"Yeah, that's right," said the cherub. Well, obviously not a cherub anymore. What was her name? Dagana, that was it. Something like that. Ugh. When had she got scales? "What's wrong with that?"

"Well, isn't it playing right into God's hands? If we really wanted to stick it to Her shouldn't we be Good?" he asked.

Maybe-Dagana scowled at him, and shoved him along with several clammy hands. He hissed in pain as the edges of his being scraped against the rough rock of the cavern. "Get moving!" she snarled. "Line starts back there!" She pointed to a line that was already forming; it looked like Gadreel had a ways to go before he could even start waiting for... whatever was happening.

People around him were chattering about names, about forms, and Gadreel had thought those things weren't supposed to matter anymore, like ranks -- or, well, they wouldn't have, had Lucifer won. Perhaps that was why they still did. They seemed pretty cheery about it on the surface, but all Gadreel could sense was other people's pain, and impatience with the line, and their anger at God. "What's this about getting a new name?" he asked the person in front of him.

"Oh, you don't know?" they said. "Satan's remaking us."

"S..." He hesitated on the sibilance. "Satan?"

"The Adversary of God! Lucifer is an old name," they informed him, cheerfully.

Gadreel didn't really like where all this new branding was headed. It seemed awfully God-reliant, and he didn't much fancy being on Team Hello, We Lost To God. Lucifer could explain it to him, though, he was certain of it. They'd probably misinterpreted everything he'd said, Gadreel decided. Lucifer had this way of making complicated things easy to understand, but unfortunately that meant sometimes the morons got it all turned around when they passed it on.

"Do you... do you want a new name?" he asked his new comrade.

"Well, why wouldn't I? God gave me this one, it's bad news. Stands to reason."

"Yeah. Yeah, no, got to get away from that rubbish," Gadreel agreed.

"Although I did hear he made somebody called Leonard keep his name," they added. "Feel a bit sorry for that poor bastard."

"Oh, Len's an arsehole, if anyone deserves to be stuck with the name God gave them it's him." He warmed to his subject, appreciating something to be furious about that he wasn't personally still wounded from. "D'you know what he did to my friend?" he asked. And then he remembered.

"What?" they asked.

"He..." Gadreel didn't have the heart. "He... Nothing. Nothing, he didn't do anything to any friends of mine. But he's a bastard, steer clear."

"Well, all right, if you say so," they said.

The line was interminable and Gadreel grew more and more miserable by the hour. Occasionally he tried to convince some of the people in front of him that he was actually Lucifer's favorite and should be allowed past them. Sure, he wasn't the only of Lucifer's favorites, but Gadreel knew he was Lucifer's favorite favorite. He could tell. Lucifer cared greatly for him, and would want to know he had survived. But they all laughed at him and told him everybody said that, and so, Gadreel stayed in the line, crawling gradually past deep pits so black it hurt to look into them, and rivers of pitch.

Finally, finally he came to the front of the line, and there was Lucifer, sitting on a throne in front of a great ocean of molten lava. He was beautiful still, but there was something... slightly off about him now. Gadreel couldn't pinpoint what it was, exactly; he didn't see any specific difference. Maybe he was imagining things. He didn't seem to be leaking light anymore, although Gadreel could see a trickle of it leading to a larger puddle, which -- oh. Which had flowed into the lava -- had maybe made the lava?

That was a lot of light he'd lost. No wonder he looked different. Gadreel felt awful now, acting like his own wounds were all that serious.

Gadreel made his way painfully to a spot at the base of the throne. "Gadreel," said Lucifer, scintillating with what looked like approval.

But it was approval Gadreel couldn't feel anymore, and he wondered if he'd done something wrong. And he realized he had; he'd vouched for Vehuel, like a gullible idiot, and --

"Come here," said Lucifer, gently, reaching out a hand large enough to encompass galaxies, and Gadreel remembered what it was to trust again. "You're very upset."

"We lost," said Gadreel. "We lost and it's --"

"Your fault. Yes, in a way," he said, cradling Gadreel.

Gadreel, who had been barely hanging onto some important pieces of himself this whole time, almost wished he had shaken apart on the way down. "I. I'm sorry."

"We all are," said Lucifer, gently. "But sorry doesn't do anything, does it? Still. I'm here to put you back together, and I'm sure you can work to --"

"Yes! To make things right!" said Gadreel.

Lucifer laughed, and it sounded wrong. "Oh no, haven't you heard?" he asked, with that sort of glimmer that meant he was going to say something that Gadreel understood, and most people did not. "We're in the business of making things wrong now." And Gadreel, for the first time, didn't understand it; there was a joke in it, somewhere, but -- "But we don't really have time to discuss all of that, do we? I'm going to have to remake you." And without waiting for an answer, he seized Gadreel by his central spiral -- the one that had been hurting him so much all this time, because it was very much not in the center of him like it was supposed to be -- and yanked.

Gadreel thought he had known pain when Vehuel had carved him up, and then he thought he'd understood pain when he fell into the pit of boiling sulfur, and in the hours after that, he'd assumed he had become used to pain, waiting in the line for Lucifer to see to his wounds, but none of that was true, it turned out, because none of that pain was in any way comparable to having your very essence pulled out and your whole self unspooled in Lucifer's hands. Lucifer chuckled to himself. "Most people scream when I do that," he said, pleasantly, as if it was a funny little joke.

Gadreel had been too startled to scream at first, and then in too much pain after to make any sort of sound, and now that Lucifer was twisting him and laying him out and tugging him this way and that, ripping him to pieces and smoothing over the rips with careful fingers digging into his being. It was all he could do to just hang onto existence.

He didn't say anything; he didn't trust himself not to say the wrong thing. Lucifer laughed again, and Gadreel realized he didn't need to say anything; Lucifer could see right through him, see everything about him. He was reminded of the times he'd communed celestially with Lucifer, and it had been -- it had been so much, he had never been able to see all of Lucifer's thoughts, but Lucifer had come away understanding him better than he understood himself. Only this time he couldn't see into Lucifer at all, and he was completely at Lucifer's mercy.

He shivered, and pain shot through him in all the places Lucifer had wrenched apart or pushed together.

"What shall I name you?" Lucifer asked, several eyes looking him over impassively. He felt strange and hollow. He felt wrong. Lucifer watched him become tangled in on himself and untied him patiently, saving him from himself. "Hmm. How about Crawly? It's very descriptive."

"Crawly," said... Crawly. It was a fitting name, he told himself. It was the right name. Lucifer, his friend and leader, had given it to him, not God the tyrant.

"I'm glad you like it," said Lucifer. He grasped Crawly around the middle and plunged him into the pool of lava in front of him, and all the pain he'd felt in the process of being remade repeated itself, but worse. He was in agonies for what felt like days, years, centuries... and then Lucifer pulled him out again and placed him gently on the ground. "I will find you when I need you, Crawly," he said, and then he was left to slither off, and Lucifer had moved on to tend to the next of his fallen army.

--

When Lucifer needed him next, Crawly had already been bullied into doing a lot of fetching and carrying for other people. Bigger, stronger people; mostly ones who still had limbs, and could therefore both fetch and carry more easily than Crawly. He learned many things in this period; he learned that sometimes bits of the outside of himself would slough off, but that there was more new Crawly underneath and that he wasn't actually dying. He learned that people didn't like it when he called Lucifer Lucifer, and they didn't believe him when he said he'd worked with Lucifer, or done special, important things for him. He learned, also, that God had cut them all off from Her love, which was fine, because who wanted it anyway? Several people theorized that this was why none of them could feel each others' joy anymore; several others, more morosely, suggested that perhaps they had lost the capacity for joy. But they would win it back, of course, when they overthrew God later.

Later couldn't come soon enough for Crawly; he was cold all the time, and he missed his halo.

Eventually, Lucifer found him. He looked different now; he wore the form of -- was it a human? It might be. Crawly hadn't seen the designs up close, but he'd heard them described, although the rumor mill in Heaven wasn't always very reliable. Whatever his shape, though, he was Lucifer, and it was a relief to see him again. Crawly felt a jolt of affection for Lucifer, that he should stoop to taking the form of something so weak just for fun, and he slithered up to Lucifer eagerly. "I have sssome problemsss," he said.

Lucifer bared his teeth in a way that Crawly thought was a smile. "I have some solutions! Why don't we find out if they match up with your problems?" And he picked Crawly up and wrapped him around his person, and for the first time since the war, Crawly felt safe. Safety was oddly nervewracking, but it was still such a relief to feel it.

Lucifer took him to a private, quiet place, then, and reshaped him once more, breathing him gently into a form much like his own. It hurt less than being remade, but Crawly was pretty sure he'd got something wrong about the hips, because they didn't feel very sturdy.

As soon as he mentioned that, Lucifer had insisted on testing the form out, making sure that it worked, because, he explained, he was going to be the first demon sent up to Earth to cause problems for God. Filled with pride, Crawly tried his very best; if he could do what Lucifer asked of him, maybe he could be instrumental in winning their next fight with Heaven.

The tests could be fun; Crawly found that sometimes he enjoyed the human equivalent of celestial communion, for all that it was much less overpowering than the real thing. But sometimes his human body would begin to fall apart, when Lucifer pushed him too far. Lucifer reminded him that there was value in knowing these limits; it was much better for him to know when the body would fail before taking it out into the field.

But a lot of the tests were pretty tedious, and Crawly hadn't liked them at all. Being strangled, for example, hadn't been any fun at all, and drowning had been awful. Lucifer had insisted on doing that five or six times, because he was certain he'd done something wrong with the way the lungs connected up to the mouth, but it turned out humans were just laid out very strangely. "Gabriel designed them," Crawly reminded him, and this earned him warm laughter and burning fingers threaded through his new hair, a lovely sensation, before Lucifer pushed his head under the water another time, just to be sure.

Crawly still wasn't entirely sold on this whole being evil to contradict God thing -- if they were going to be evil, it should be for its own sake, shouldn't it? -- but Lucifer had explained to him that there was going to be a rematch, another war, which they'd win handily if only they worked at doing everything they could to thwart God's plans, to weaken and demoralize Her forces and their resolve, and Crawly thought he understood it better now. So when Lucifer declared that his body was probably working well enough to head up to Earth, Crawly had been eager to get started.

"What do I do now?" he asked, wide-eyed.

Lucifer raised a gentle hand to caress Crawly's face, and Crawly was almost, not quite but almost over the shock of not feeling his affection viscerally.  This touch, Crawly told himself, this gentleness... it would have to be enough, for now.  "You get up there," he said, "and make some trouble."

[wanna-b-poet31]

An (I should really retitle this series) 4-part Good Omens Meta Part 5: An Angel in Recovery

~~~Hey, look at me back at it again talking about abuse in Good Omens~~~

So like real talk, I could write a whole damn book on just trauma studies with Aziraphale and Crowley. Like no joke, I’m drafting my dissertation on disability and trauma. Expect at least 2 more parts of this multi-layered Meta because I have all the thoughts.  #sorrynotsorry for how long this one is. 

An Overview of Recovery

One of the things I just can’t get over is the ways in which Crowley and Aziraphale’s relationship enable each other down the path of recovery from their respective abuse

I’ve been throwing around the word “recovery” pretty freely in my other installments. So, before dissecting their relationship, we need to know: what exactly DOES a recovery from an abusive environment actually look like? 

Generally speaking (and I mean like really, really generally), trauma recovery has 3 goals: 

establishment of safety, 

remembrance or mourning of abuse, 

the reinstitution of self/ sense of individual normalcy    

It’s important to note that most recovery paths are non-linear and deeply personal. Meaning, no two paths are the same not even if they’ve undergone similar trauma or trauma from the same source/event. Some practitioners will cite as many as 10 steps, while others still say recovery is reached when the survivor shift from a place of unpredictable abuse/trauma to a place of safety   >SOURCE <.  

Aziraphale’s Recovery Needs

Throughout the series, Aziraphale is constantly threatened, subject to unsafe work/family dynamics, and forced to endure emotional abuse.  Heaven’s stakes are unconscionably high, unfairly looming over the angel’s head. He constantly has to deal with the threat of falling, coupled with the constant belittling, and dismissive nature of the other Angels. His environment makes it hard for Aziraphale to recognize that Heaven is abusive. It doesn’t help that his primary coping skill is denial and repression. As long as he can’t recognize the problem, he simply can’t address the underlining issues causing his problems.  

Consequently, he doesn’t acknowledge that Heaven isn’t the perfect, righteous power he thinks it is. Heaven isn’t safe. It’s violent, unforgiving, and more than willing to drop him like a rock. There is no security if something as small as asking questions, or loving Humanity (his job) is grounds for falling or permanent death. Yet, this is the place he idolizes, above even his lover best friend. 

He can’t even consult other Angels to form his own sense of security in Heaven. None of the relationships we see (excepting Crowley) offer him solace, comfort or anything but abuse. If we include his human alliance with Shadwell, there’s another layer of homophobic abuse piling on his emotional abuse and physical intimidation.   

To heal, Aziraphale’s recovery journey has five distinct stages: self-identification of his abuse, securing a safe space, confronting his abusers, cultivating a healthy relationship (with Crowley), and embracing his sense of self.  

Abuse By Any Other Name

Aziraphale needs to come to terms with the trauma inflicted upon him by Heaven. And this isn’t to say he doesn’t notice that Gabriel is cruel to him, or that Sandalphon is about .25 seconds away from smiting everything and that’s dangerous, but he denies that these behaviors are inherent problems.  Their behaviors, particularly toward him, his interests, and his loves are not respected, but he still treats them like unquestionable authorities.  Admitting that there is a problem in the power dynamic, or at the very least the terms and conditions of Heaven are unjust, is the first thing Aziraphale needs to do to begin recovering from his toxic environment and toxic relationships.

Now, we do see Aziraphale push against his system of abuse, he lies to God for one thing, and maintains a relationship/agreement with Crowley for another. But his rebellions still regards Heaven above all other relationships. It is still where he claims his loyalties lay. Until he can admit that Heaven does not have his best interest at heart, he can’t undo their damage. 

I argue that the first step in Aziraphale’s recovery is when he admits that he has a problem with the end of the world. It’s not a full admission of Heaven’s fault, but it is an admission that when he does not feel comfortable with Heaven’s actions he should and CAN intervene. Before, with Noah and Jesus, he watched, even though he objected and was horrified by the actions against innocence. We see this again when he seems visibly upset with “all the smiting” that Sandalphon does at Sodom and Gamorah. Despite his misgivings, he doesn’t intervene (at least not on-screen). Look at the below gif. He’s clearly pained by God’s decision, but he bites his tongue. It’s not that he doesn’t want to question, it’s that he can not question. He must soldier on. 

We can see that when Gabriel brings up the possibility of “something big is coming”, he is visibly perturbed. Then, once Crowley tells him about the coming of the Anti-Christ. He recognizes that his love for humanity and his life on Earth is a tipping point that he’s unwilling to give up.  But, he still does it by operating within the framework of Heaven. 

The next crack happens when Aziraphale realizes Heaven is unsupportive of his efforts to save Heaven. His face visibly falls when Michael says they’ll forgive him for is an inevitable failure. He’s also upset by Gabriel who does give him encouragement, but in a tone that is clear, he thinks Aziraphale’s efforts are fruitless.  Heaven makes it clear that war is more important than love for God’s creatures.

Then Aziraphale goes to Heaven, wielding information about the Anti-Christ. He knows where Adam is, he knows the beast is released, and he knows that Armageddon is days, if not hours, away.  Yet, he falters. He’s all anxiety and nerves when he’s forced to talk to his so-called “side”, in a way he’s never like with Crowley. But this scene’s pièce de résistance is his choice to lie about the location of Adam. After first mentioning Crowley and all his wiles, he suddenly becomes uneasy. Gabriel asks “where” and Aziraphale recognizes that no one in the room cares about protecting humanity. Now, instead of the end of the world being his biggest problem, Angels (not yet Heaven) are.  This is further supported by their intimidation of him after the break-up on the bandstand. 

While this scene is certainly progress towards naming his problem, he’s not all the way there yet. He meets with Crowley, and Crowley scares him because he’s not ready to admit Heaven is intrinsically abusive the same way Crowley is. He still believes that Heaven, and the angels, are on his side, that they’re doing right. He’s mortified about the very realy possibility that if he chooses Crowley, he’ll lose his divinity. His later scene summoning Metatron shows that he believes so badly that if he can only get ahold of God, everything will be sorted. But, it isn’t.  

It is only when he recognizes “hello god, it’s me Aziraphale” won’t get him shit, that HEAVEN is his problem. Not Crowley, not angels, not Hell, but Heaven is his abusive parent and he needs to pick which side he wants to be on.  

So he chooses Crowley. 

Sanctum Sanctorum

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it 100 times. Heaven is an empty, cold, and unloving place. There is no joy in its walls. There is no love for the Angels who dare enter. It’s a place where the Archangel Fucking Gabriel is willing to burn his “traitor” in a fire without a trial. In short, it’s unsafe. Aziraphale is, at the very least, unsafe their. Unsafe from judgmental eyes, unsafe from intimidation, and physically separated from the rest of the angels during every meeting. 

Soho, in contrast, is very different. It’s very clear that Aziraphale’s shop is warm and alive with love. It’s where Aziraphale eats, prays, loves, and lives. He knows, even before he can name his problem, that Heaven isn’t home. So he creates one, a little oasis where he can invite Crowley for drinks, he can maintain his ever-growing book collection, and center himself. 

He is safe here, on Earth, because it’s of his own choice. Agency (or the ability to make choices) is crucial for coping with trauma. It empowers survivors to maintain their recovery and help give them back control over their lives. In Heaven, Aziraphale has no agency. There is no food for him to taste, no lover best friend to go on dinner dates with, no books to quench his thirst for knowledge.  In his bookshop though? He has all the freedom to be as hard or soft as he pleases, read whatever he pleases, eat or drink whatever he pleases, and love whomever he pleases, without fear of discipline.

It’s VERY important to note that 1 solitary character respects his sanctuary -- Crowley. Gabriel and Sandalphon barge in unannounced frequently, belittle his work and expect him to drop everything at a moment’s notice. Shadwell breaks and enters, calls him homophobic slurs and “kills” him. Sure Crowley miracles the locks open unannounced, but it’s only when the shop’s on fire and damn it Crowley has an Angel to save.  

Every other character, except Crowley, belittles Aziraphale’s love of books and food, and warmth. Where other characters barge into his home uninvited, Crowley always asks express permission (minus when he’s being an action hero) to enter Aziraphale’s inter-most place of safety. Unlike everyone else, Crowley respects and loves Aziraphale enough to help him maintain a place of safety from the abuses of Trust they both find in Heaven. 

The One Where Gabriel’s a Dick And Aziraphale Says FUCK YOU to Hell

Aziraphale realizes that the line between Heaven and Hell’s abuse is a fucking thin one. They team up to actively destroy the two things he loves and has been gaslighting, attacking, or traumatizing him to do it. As a way to start coping with the tremendous loss and trauma inherent in Armageddon't he comes to terms with his abusers. 

There are three distinct moments where he does this. First is to Shadwell. The idiot of a man is constantly berating him, a presumed ally, with homophobic slurs. While ultimately a small moment, it’s one that Aziraphale desperately needs to confront if he has any hope of confronting his other abusers. When Aziraphale faces Shadwell, he does it with so much style. Not just does he reclaim the homophobic slur, but he also puts Shadwell in his place for using it in the first place. Honestly, Michael Sheen and Miranda Richardson deserve Awards for their performance here. 

The second biggie is when he stands up to (the bastard archangel) Gabriel.  Although I don’t doubt Aziraphale could cut someone with his flaming sword, his most powerful weapon is his words. He defends Adam’s choice to not destroy the world and confronts Gabriel’s use of the “great plan” vs. the ineffable one. Aziraphale knows that poking at Heaven’s excuse for destroying humanity won’t hold up. There is no rationale for waging war except “to see whose gang’s the best”. Speaking up like that, against a director of war, is ballsy, but Aziraphale does not care. He needs to confront the horrendous way Gabriel/Heaven has treated him, humanity, and Crowley. 

And who supports him through this cathartic moment? Crowley. With a single glance, Crowley interjects and comes through, supporting Aziraphale’s (actually really clever) plan to protect Adam and the world. Crowley realizes Heaven and Hell don’t actually know what they’re doing, and that Aziraphale has them dead to right. Stepping closer to Aziraphale, protectively behind Adam, he pushes until Heaven and Hell are forced to admit defeat. 

It’s a beautiful confrontation. A perfect Fuckkkkk you to 2 abusive entities. 

The third distinct moment is the switch. While Hell specifically hasn’t actually targetted Aziraphale, they have done something worse. Attacked his support system. So, Aziraphale returns in kind, confronting his partner’s abusers head on. And look at the absolute GLEE he takes in showing off how indestructible to Holy Water his partner is. He’s making a performance of daring all of Hell to come after them, terrorizing them like they terrorized Crowley and him.

It’s also him coming to terms with the fact that yes, it’s him and Crowley against the (divine) World. The switch is so significant for so many reasons, but the primary one is that it allows Aziraphale the ability to face his biggest fear -- Hell -- and not flinch. The Threat of falling (like from Uriel/Michael/Sandalphon) and going to Hell terrifies our loveable bastard angel. He knew that he was disposable to Heaven, but he’s indisposable to Crowley. This confrontation allows him to come to terms with the unhealthy power dynamic of Heaven and begin the rest of his life with Crowley as equals. He’s not fully recovered (recovery is a process, not a finish line) but he’s faced all of his abusers.   

Our Own side

His relationship with Crowley is the only damn thing that Aziraphale can always rely on. Heaven’s love is conditional. Humans live short lives compared to Azi’s immortality. And Hell wants him dead simply because he’s an Angel.

But Crowley? Dammit. Crowley will run into a burning building to save him. He’ll run into a church to save him, and then save his books because Crowley knows Aziraphale would forget. He’ll race to France DURING A REVOLUTION, to a PRISON to rescue Aziraphale. He’s Aziraphale’s constant companion, and really the only support he can always trust. 

Crowley is the one to pull Aziraphale out of his abusive environment, enable him to act in the face of injustice, and support him as he faces down his abusers.  He also respects the angel’s boundaries consistently, and while he’s been accused of going too fast, he’s patient, never pressuring Aziraphale to do something he’s truly uncomfortable doing. Normally, it’s already something Aziraphale wants to do, but can’t rationalize a reason to do it that would allow him to disobey Heaven. All the way up until shit hits the fan does Crowley refrain from making Aziraphale uncomfortable, and even at the breakup scene, Crowley forces it because he knows Aziraphale has to make a choice. Him or Heaven. 

But, it’s Aziraphale choice and Crowley REFUSES to make it for him.  

Heaven never consults Aziraphale on policy decisions, never initiates open communicates with Aziraphale, and certainly never treats Aziraphale as an equal. Crowley does. Crowley could easily have forced Aziraphale into his car and flew to Alpha Centurai. He could have forced Aziraphale to go with him in the bandstand. He could have forced Aziraphale to do any number of things without his consent, but he chooses not to. He chooses to be the honest entity Aziraphale needs in his life. He chooses Aziraphale, just as Aziraphale chooses him.

Even when they’re arguing, they share strong conflict resolution skills. Either they choose to talk it out unit they reach an understanding or, Crowley gets some fresh air, before consulting Aziraphale again. There is one moment when Crowley calls him stupid with any real bite to it, and it’s because Aziraphale, who is so close to admitting he has a problem, and that problem is Heaven, can’t make the last leap. Crowley, for the only time in the series, really insults Aziraphale because he needs one last ditch effort to take off the blinders, preventing Aziraphale from recognizing his trauma.  

And after that? When Crowley is heartbroken and rejected for the second time? He still goes looking for Aziraphale. Unwilling to let anything damage the integrity of their relationship.  

Crowley’s acts of kindness and love allow Aziraphale to finally recognize his past was unhealthy. But more than that, Crowley fulfills all the criteria needed for a healthy relationship according to The National Domestic Abuse Hotline. 

And A Nightingale Sang in Berkley Square

So What does this all mean? Where are we left at the end of the series? In a pretty good place actually.  I said the final step was establishing a sense of self. Where was he before the abuse started? Or, if that’s impossible to know (given our data) What does he want his new normal to be? 

A life with Crowley.

It’s clear that when Crowley invites him to stay at his place (if Aziraphale likes) the night of Armageddon’t, Aziraphale does because they both deserve. There’s a slight smile when Crowley offers, and like in 1941, the romantic music swells. Only half-heartedly does Aziraphale say his side wouldn’t like it, but both of them know they’re on each other’s side. Not Heaven. Not Hell. Just them.  

Quite simply, he’s already told us what he wants moving forward. He wants to be with Crowley, perhaps one day the could go for a picnic, or dine at the Ritz, but always together.  So, he does. 

Recovery is not a destination, it’s a process. Thanks to Aziraphale’s healthy support system that is Crowley, he is able to start his recovery journey and end the series in a much healthier place than it started.  Aziraphale is not “cured” by the end of the novel, but he is coping, and he is recovering. So long as Crowley’s by his side, he’s well on his way to healthy coping mechanisms, and living in a safe, loving environment with a partner who loves and respects him. 

TLDR:  Aziraphale is recovering from 6000 years of abuse and trauma. Crowley loves, supports, and helps heal him on his journey. 

For More on this Series:

In Part 1 I wrote about how Heaven is hella abusive towards Aziraphale, but Crowley’s love facilitates his recovery

In Part 2 I wrote about how traumatized Crowley is, but thanks to Aziraphale’s love which facilitates Crowley’s recovery

Part 3 is the one where Aziraphale Has some Dubious Coping Skills

Part 4 looks at Anthony J. Crowley’s Poor Coping Skills+ the One Surprisingly Healthy One

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk

[incandescent-eden]

STORY MASTERLIST

A (not so) comprehensive list of all the things I write about, all of which are subject to change at any given time because I do a lot of refactoring!

LOOOOONG POST INCOMING I write... a LOT, and I have... MANY projects :) Feel free to ask me about any of them! :)

With love <3 Continue reading below the cutoff if you want to know the basic rundown of my worlds and works!

ANGELVERSE:

This universe encompasses all of the angels and demons I like to focus on. Works in the angelverse will likely be about Faraday (formerly known as Efrem), a demon lieutenant, Ezekiel, a young angel, the archangel Uriel, or angel Raguel / angel Sophia (their stories are intertwined).

The main concept I have on Angelverse surrounds Faraday, who has grown into himself as a demon and made something of himself. He finds it impossible to shake who he was before. The question comes up during an important meeting between Heaven and Hell of whether he is truly Faraday or Efrem, his own self that he has shakily become, or the self he inherited from being his father’s son. There’s also brotherly angst between Faraday and Ezekiel, who refuses to let go of the past. (If you look at my old works tagged ‘ezekiel,’ you’ll see Ezekiel used to be a part of Faraday/his ‘ideal’ self, which is why new Ezekiel, separate from Faraday, reads so differently.)

The Raguel and Sophia stories are also closely linked to characters Andromeda and possibly Zachariah. Andromeda’s father runs a cult and has captured an angel in his attic. When Andromeda finds the angel (Sophia), her otherwise “normal” life is thrown into disarray as she starts unraveling threads about her father’s actions as a cult leader. If Zachariah is to be a part of it, he would be living with Andromeda’s family, having run away from his past.

Prominent characters in Angelverse include: Faraday, Uriel, Ezekiel, Stena, Michael, Ramiel, Raguel, Sophia, Zachariah, Ambriel, Ruhiel, Gabriel, Raphael, Luci, Bee, Sasha, Saoirse, and Heather. With the exception of Sophia, all names ending with “el” are angels, while the rest are demons. Also, I say prominent, but like half of these characters are from a bygone era (2018 when I first created them).

TW/CW for heavy religious (Christian) imagery, emotional abuse, violence, transphobia mentions and cult talk. Additional content warning because I tend to write angels as LGBT, but I recognize that some people are not comfortable with this affiliation with Christianity.

LUXTRURA (NOTE: LUXTRURA IS ON PERMANENT HIATUS):

Luxtrura is the name of a fictional country in ye olde European fantasy style, and I haven’t thought of a title for the WIP yet, so I mainly tag it ‘luxtrura’ or ‘luxtruran trio.’ This WIP is a fantasy / dystopian / political intrigue about an uprising in the kingdom of Luxtrura run by an inexperienced king and corrupt nobles all vying for the crown.

Luxtrura (at the current moment) follows the life of His Majesty Devron Fharren, the Eighth Fharren King, who inherited the crown by kingdom decrees at the age of 21. Unlike most kings, Devron has only had seven years of proper royal tutelage on statecraft, having only been named heir to the throne when he was 14. He soon finds he has inherited a kingdom that has been deeply wounded, that his people hate him, and that he has few allies among his own country’s nobles, his friends, and neighboring royalty. Revolution is brewing, and he has a choice to make: to claim his birthright or to help his people.

Prominent characters include: Devron Fharren, Eden Barison, Mili Starr, Plumeria Rwalke, Lilia Tao, Rassaya Tao, Andrea (a mysterious stranger who gives only her first name), Jakob Fiyre, Cordelia Fiyre, Liseline Fiyre, Sonja, and Orange and Rouse (the dragons).

TW/CW for violence, sexual assault mentions, transphobia mentions, political talk, blatant classism, and death.

GLOWING EYES:

A “what-if” scenario where Victor Frankenstein and Dorian Gray had met and become friends and also Frankenstein wasn’t a man and was named Viola and was not a pleb weakling like Victor. Also Dorian Gray is fat because I said so.

This story reimagines the Frankenstein and Dorian Gray cast as students in their final year of the prestigious University of Ingolstadt, with Frankenstein having returned from a year off during which she was suspended for [redacted] reasons. The vibe we’re going for is dark academia, but I don’t think they ever actually do any learning?

Prominent characters include: Viola Frankenstein, Dorian Gray, Elizabeth Lavenza, Henry Clerval, Basil Hallward, Deukalion, and special shoutout to Justine Moritz and Sibyl Vane because I didn’t want to put them in, but they definitely deserved better in the source material.

TW/CW for death, violence, toxic/obsessive relationships, grave-robbing, body part mentions (eyes, limbs, etc), and mentions of the Devil. Basically, if it was a concerning part of either the Frankenstein or Dorian Gray stories, it will still be concerning.

Fun fact, there is a Glowing Eyes playlist that I am NOT too ashamed to share with the public! :D

HELEN OF LEGEND:

A retelling of the Helen of Sparta story that explores Helen’s thoughts and motivations. Who was the woman behind the face that launched a thousand ships? And did she ever even want those ships to be launched? (Spoiler alert: the answer is no.)

Helen of Legend gets pretty heavy handed because I get really mad about people lauding the Greeks as the end all be all of culture, and I’m still really mad about how people dress Millie Bobby Brown up like she’s 25-40, so make of that what you will.

On the bright side, Helen of Legend is a sapphic retelling!

Prominent characters include: Helen, Leda, Menelaus, Clytemnestra, Penelope, Theseus, Aphrodite, Paris, Cassandra, Hector, and Hecuba.

TW/CW for misogyny, implied past sexual assault, sexual assault mentions, mentions of spousal and emotional abuse, people being generally creepy about bodies, people being creepy toward children (Theseus), cities burning, subtle classism, and death.

OF DANCERS AND DREAMERS:

A musical about Anne-Marie, a non-binary Vietnamese lesbian born into a wealthy family, and Jules, a Tunisian baker’s daughter who is working her way into the Paris ballet. Anne-Marie wants to be a designer, but their mother, Mme Trinh, has other plans. The year is 1884, and it was hard for the Trinh family, as immigrants, to establish their foothold in society, and Mme Trinh will not have her child throw away the family’s hard work. One day, while at the ballet, Anne-Marie becomes smitten with Jules, a ballerina with the most dazzling smile. They find solace in sharing their passions with one another and become friends, each eventually realizing they have fallen for the other in a time that is unfriendly to both of them.

Prominent characters include: Anne-Marie, Jules, Victor, Mme Trinh, and Amandine.

TW/CW for subtle homophobia, classism, mental illness, and parental guilt tripping/emotional toxicity.

THE LYRE EFFECT:

A play about life after death, and what it means to live and love. This play follows Patroclus upon his death, desperate to return to Achilles. He meets the reluctant Eurydice, embittered by decades alone in limbo halfway between life and death. Together, they almost throw someone off a boat (is it really murder if they’re already dead?) and have a chance to tell their stories, stepping out from the shadows of their more famous lovers.

I took a lot of liberties with this, so Orpheus is a woman (wlw OrphEurydice), and I would like for both Achilles and Patroclus to be played by trans men, and for all of the characters to be played by non-white actors.

Prominent characters include: Patroclus, Eurydice, Achilles, Orpheus, Apollo, Hades, Charon

TW/CW for talk about death

SPEED ROUND (OR: THINGS I WRITE ABOUT THAT AREN’T AS AMBITIOUS JUST YET/AT THE CURRENT MOMENT):

Here Lies Forever - a story focusing around two young people, Medb Flaherty and Virgil Sutherland, growing up at an orphanage amid war, abandonment, and sickness. Medb is a blind writer who dreams of traveling the world with Virgil, her best friend since their teen years, but when the war strikes too close to home, Virgil leaves Medb and their peaceful student life behind to join the army. Unwilling to let go, and recognizing the pain Virgil is in, Medb takes it upon herself to save Virgil, the both of them haunted by the ghosts of their pasts.

On the Corner of Maple Street - short stories about the lives of Sarah and Evangeline together, two lesbian women who met when Sarah was 28 and Evangeline was 31. Sarah was a toy maker and Evangeline was an actress. They have a son named Oliver, who’s now in his forties, and they’re grandmas to all the neighborhood children. They live on the corner of Maple Street :)

Partager Un Reve - short stories, often romantic, about two circus performers, Alyona Ledbedeva (who does aerial silks) and Li Mey Ri (an acrobat). They’re cute together, there’s not really much to say here.

Claire  - there’s a really old novelette floating around on my account and you can find it if you search Claire, but like it’s OLD. An 18th century French lady who contracted TB and died but was brought back by a necromancer named Cecil (Cecil is the character of my friend @sinnabon-cosplay !) and is now immortal. Fun times with Claire and Anthony usually involve lamenting the fact that they’re stuck as teenagers.

Miscellaneous - miscellaneous demon and monster characters like Alexander, Felicity (both vampires), Sparrow (succubus/Heather’s youngest sister), Zephyr (fae, husband of Spar), Lycan (she’s... a werewolf), and so on. Not really connected to a plot

Performing Possumhood - uh this was a play I wrote with my friend @holdingonmyheartlikeahandgrenade for a 24 hour play festival, it’s about a guy named Thomas who becomes herald for a kingdom and then on his first day of work, the king dies, and his son becomes king, except the new king??? is a possum???? and like no one does anything about it, so Thomas just feels like he’s going insane, poor guy (also everyone else is named Thomas except the king, whose name is His Majesty King Parthur Pencildragon of Alpacalot)

Nordic questing team - I’ve literally written nothing for these fools, but I’m tempted to make it into a dnd campaign! The characters I have are Val (short for Valnotte) (she’s a nokke), Hanne (human poison seller who wears an eyepatch just because), Fur (short for Bjorgolfur, he’s a werewolf who left his pack because he was too good at being alpha wolf but he didn’t want to be alpha, he wanted to press flowers and have a cute little cottage by a cliffside with a pretty garden damn it), and Bo (full name: Boscobel Blue, he’s a cow boy. Literally. He has cow ears and a big septum piercing and a tail. Also he’s a shepherd. His sheep are carnivorous :))) Make of that what you will)

Alice x Secret Garden - another play but where Alice Liddell and Mary Lennox are 18 years old and find themselves in Wonderland, after Mary is jaded from the end of WW1 and is frustrated at her friend Dickon’s marriage proposal, and Alice runs away, trying to retain her childhood as best she can

Retellings - I do myth and fairy tale and folk retellings! :) You can search ‘Tithonia’ for my sleeping beauty retelling, and I wrote Orpheus and Eurydice a while back. Still working my way through Icarus :’) Also ‘Mermaids Can’t See’ is a retelling of the classic mermaid story but written as a ??? field guide? journal entry? notes about mermaids?

If there’s a work you want specifically about a character, I always tag characters, and I also will tag character introductions and pictures/references of them as “beanpuff char[]”!