#fuck christian movies and fuck that movie it sucks

[captain-cargoshorts]

Hanging with my mom is so fun, like. We were watching a movie on some streaming service and I didn't expect ads, so when one came up i was like "Aah! Capitalism jumpscare" and she started laughing so hard she cried until the movie came back on. I wasn't making a joke or anything, I just speak like someone who's been on tumblr for a decade.

[gibbearish]

anyways. have yall seen the deliverance. and if yes have you read the wikipedia article. because like. that woman 100% was literally just straight up abusing her kids and used the church to get out of it. the movie doesnt even try to hide it that hard. "based on a true story" except of course for all of the important bits of context like how the cps agent was not in fact a nonbeliever in the supernatural before switching to her side and never did so and that the kid could only walk up the wall with his grandma's help and that none of the prior tenants had similar experiences (@ trey whered you go) and the POLICE CHIEF BELIEVED IN DEMONS BEFORE MEETING HER !! and that every SINGLE thing that happened in real life can be (and fucking IS) explained by child abuse. half the time the movie is just like "ok yeah sure maybe she was abusing her kids, but only because demons made her do it". and then drop little hints that she was in jail before for Something (doesn't say what but i can guess) and that her drinking problems are well established and that her oldest son was stockpiling money to get away from her long before they moved to that house. also i could be misreading the timeline but seems like her supernatural experiences only started after her own abusive mother moved back in with her which can SO easily trigger old wounds to come back to the surface so like OF COURSE youre gonna start seeing shit, disturbances can be a ptsd symptom !!!!

tldr; fuck latoya ammons so hard, if this is the made-presentable-for-tv version then like. i want to say i cant imagine what the real life version was like, but i very much can. and for that, fuck her. immensely. i hope her children are actively writing a rebuttal and/or reaching out to lawyers to sue her ass as we speak.

[potatomountain]

Two Just For You

Pairing: Song Mingi x afab reader x Christian Yu (DPR Ian)

WC: 5975

AU: non-idol

Genre: fuck buddies to partners. friends to partners.

Warning(s): "cheating", everyone swings all ways. threesome, Dvp. mxm, pet names, some degradation, sub Mingi, switch Christian, switch reader. sex with no barrier (reader is on the pill), Mingi is kind of a jealous toxic dick. big dick Mingi

Summary: Mingi hasn't tried to make things official with you, even after weeks of sleeping together and spending time together. He uses your new friendship with the hottie from the bar, Christian, as the excuse why he hasn't, going so far as fighting with you about it often, until you had enough. You didn't expect Christian to jump to the plate, even offering a relationship you wouldn't dare to think about before. But will it actually work?

Nets: @pirateeznet | @mirohs-aurora-society

Special tags: This is a belated birthday present for @mingsolo !! This is part two of Just For Tonight which was also written for Isa <3

dividers by: @cafekitsune

Taglist (Form): @candypop1611 | @vannabanana1995  | @piratequeen-queenofgames | @starstruckforyou

“So another fight?” Christian asked with a crooked brow, bringing his cup to his lips as you spilled the tea on your latest fight with Mingi- in which you weren't sure you were dating or just fuck buddies, at least not any more.

You had given him that one chance, and then he occupied your bed any chance you two got. But outside of sex, it was hard to determine your chemistry. Was it just sex? Or did you genuinely like him?

Through the last few weeks you had been updating the man responsible for this on a near daily basis. You even talked about other things, becoming friends and meeting up for the other adult drinks on occasion, like now: coffee.

“Mhmm. Like we aren’t even together and yet we’re fighting?” You sighed, setting the cup down and staring at the liquid inside. “Everything really was fine, until he realized I was talking to you. But I’m not going to budge on that…” Even if it royally sucked.

It had been your first fight, Mingi catching you in a face call with Christian while you were hanging around your apartment. You hadn’t been doing anything wrong, Christian was just asking if you two were dating yet since Mingi had slept over for probably the seventh or eighth time. You woke up before him and had been enjoying your coffee, in nothing but Mingi’s shirt, when he had walked in with nothing on himself.

He had started in on you the moment you hung up.

“I thought you said you weren’t going to date him?!”

“I’m not- we’re just friends. I did promise to keep him in the loop. Besides, if not for him you never would have gotten in my bed.”

“So what he’s just waiting around until I fuck up to swoop in? Am I the rebound? The second choice still?”

It was the first time he had raised his voice, but wasn’t the last. Whatever you two had been drastically changed since then, but funnily enough he fucked you every weekend, stayed over and watched movies. Everything was fine normally until your relationship with each other was brought up, or your relationship with Christian. Only one of those you wanted to change.

“I didn’t want to go out dancing last weekend, he did. I didn’t hear from him at all but I ended up going over because I felt bad about the fight you know? And some fucking chick was leaving his apartment when I did. He was right there, standing shirtless in the doorway with hickies on his neck.” Your blood began to boil just remembering the scene so vividly.

Christian’s eyes went wide, hissing as if he was the one in pain. “He didn’t-”

With a solemn nod, you looked up at him. “He did.”

He leaned back in his seat, whistling. “I was wrong about him then, damn. Thought he would be man enough for you.”

“Well we were both wrong. I honestly think this was it. I told him I was done with him. He had the audacity to say I was fucking you so why couldn’t he fuck around? Plus, ‘not like we’re official or anything’.” You felt the burn behind your eyes, knowing tears were going to build up. You had cried then, hit his chest with the bag of breakfast you had brought for him, and told him just what you thought of his words.

Christian waited patiently to hear it, leaning in again, arms folding on the table now.

Letting out a shaky breath, you continued. “I told him I’ve been waiting for him to get his head out of his ass because while I didn’t want to date a guy who wants to dictate my friends, I wanted him. Wanted him to make it official. Wanted to do stupid couple things, and celebrate anniversaries and maybe get a dog together down the line- you know, that stupid stuff. And I've wanted to do it since that first weekend.” You rapidly blinked the tears away.

His hand covered yours on the coffee cup for some silent comfort. “Oh love, he really fucked up.”

“He did. I told him no more. He doesn’t get any more chances. I gave him enough. And I haven’t heard anything from him all week.” It had been an unspoken ritual for him to come over Friday night after you got off work. If he showed up now, you hoped it was to give your spare key back and nothing more.

Silence followed; you wallowed in your own self-pity and Christian thought to himself.

He broke it first. “Do you want me to come over tomorrow night? Or I can swing by Saturday morning?”

“And do what? I’ll probably deep clean my apartment and throw his shit out. Months, Christian. I wasted months on him for an almost relationship and for what? Just to have my heart broken. Fuck, outside of the fights he was-” You pulled your hand away from his. “I loved him. Still fucking do. If he came back crawling and begging right now I’d actually consider it. Just… I was so tired of his jealousy. That was his problem, and it was so shitty of him to expect me to cut you out just because he couldn’t handle it.”

“It wasn’t without reason though.” He mumbled so low you barely heard him.

But you did, shocking you enough your head snapped up to stare at him, mouth agape. “What do you mean?”

His own eyes widened as he shifted uncomfortably. “You weren’t supposed to hear that… shit.”

“Christian, what do you mean?” You leaned forward, brows pushed together in a frown.

You two stared off for a moment before he relented with a sigh. “I pushed you to go after him that night, and I was still an option. Love… I never stopped being an option, at least not from where I was sitting. And he probably knew that. From his perspective, why else would I be sticking around after I told you, literally, if he didn’t work out then I would take you out? On a date no less? Not just a fuck.”

You bit down on your lip, mulling over his words. He was right… but you had been so focused on Mingi and trying to have a relationship with him, you ignored the way Christian made you feel. He was still as attractive as the day you first met him, and now knowing his personality he was very likable.

“But Mingi…”

He smiled at your pout, standing up and leaning over the table. “Love, have I ever told you I swing both ways? You’ve told me enough about him, that if he did get his head out of his ass, I think you could have us both. I am definitely not against it but he’s the issue.”

He was so casual about it, as if pointing out the shade of lipstick you were wearing, or talking about his week, not confessing something that had your stomach in knots.

Yet you still hesitated. “And if he doesn’t get his shit together? If he and I are really done?”

“Then you have a really cool boyfriend who will give you the Princess treatment and still encourage you to ride another man’s dick: especially if they’ll ride mine too.” He kissed your forehead before grabbing your coffee cup and taking it over to the trash. “Think about it. I’ll be over Saturday night and no matter what you choose, I won’t get angry or upset with you. I respect any decision you make, Love.”

This was definitely a turn of events you never expected. Ever.

After parting ways your next work day went by in a daze, opting to invite some friends over Friday night: strictly girl friends.

Course, Wooyoung apparently counted. He even put his hair in pigtails and wore the girliest outfit he had. You protested, but he insisted he was only going to be there to be the driver home for the ladies, and cook.

Apparently he had heard about what happened from Yunho who, unbeknownst to you at the time, had heard your whole argument with Mingi. So in his own way, Wooyoung was trying to be there for you. The bottle of soju and chocolates had been his idea too.

It also didn’t help that aside from your best friend, his girlfriend, you only had two other friends, only one showing up. So bestie being bestie invited the girlfriends of Wooyoung’s friends.

The shit talking that was done after the second bottle of soju was emptied was glorious. Wooyoung looked rather pained, or at least feigned shame, every time he was talked about, but he was immediately reminded of how much he was loved with kisses after. They were good together, you thought, but it also left you a bit jealous.

Of course your own predicament was brought up, but by Yunho’s girlfriend, not Wooyoung like you suspected. So you spilled the details, alcohol contributing to your whole conversation with Christian also being aired. Then, bets placed on if you were going to end up with one boyfriend or two, no one even considering you saying no to Christian which, to be fair, was a safe bet.

“I think you’re going to end up with two.” Wooyoung added last, smirking over his water bottle. “You don’t hang out with us enough to know but most in our group either swing all ways or both ways. You know Seonghwa and Hongjoong are dating and they’ve shared a few girls before. In fact they’ve been seeing the same girl for a few weeks now I think they might invite her in. I didn’t invite her though.”

“Plus I know Mingi likes dick. Yunho’s told me about it.” As soon as Yunho’s girlfriend slipped the words out, she looked apologetic. “Sorry again, I really can’t seem to hold my tongue with alcohol.” Her words were even slurring a bit.

This was even more information you had not expected, just more to think about it seemed.

They left you without a decision but started a group chat because they were now invested in how things went. Over all, it put a lot into perspective, and left you hopeful.

Wooyoung didn’t seem bad, and the girls his friends dated were definitely chill. Sure you preferred to be alone, but if you were going to socialize you liked the idea of doing so with them. And Mingi? Christian?

Maybe it was the alcohol but your dreams were plagued by a scenario with them that had you aching for them both. It wasn’t uncommon for you to dream about Mingi like this, but with Christian in the mix… you were very hopeful.

A girl could dream right? (In this case, literally dream.)

Saturday evening rolled around and your hopes of last night had dwindled to anxious cleaning and worries once more that you had fucked things up beyond repair. You sent a text to Mingi to bring you the apartment key, preferably before seven, as you had company coming over.

You had been left on read, so you had no idea if he was going to stop by or not. The later it got, the more anxious you had become, until six rolled around, then… seven was dangerously close.

“This is it, it’s over.” You mumbled to yourself as you leaned against the back of your couch looking over the somewhat romantic table setting you had worked hard on. While Mingi hadn’t messaged you once, Christian had, talking about this evening and making plans with you.

The two of you decided to cook dinner together, eat, watch a movie and then if you had been comfortable he could stay over or he could head home. Either way, you had told him that you wanted a date before agreeing to anything, so this was it.

And still no Mingi.

Dejectedly you made your way to your bedroom, having done your hair and makeup already but finally slipping into the comfortable but flattering outfit you had picked out. Everything about your appearance was still very homey, comfortable, but with that hint of dressed-to-impress including the lingerie set underneath. One you had bought for Mingi but never got to show him. You had been saving it for when, if, he finally asked to make things official.

A little after seven there was a knock on your door. You knew it was Christian, he had texted you a minute ago that he had arrived and would see you shortly. You tried not to let the disappointment show as you opened the door, still wanting to give the man the attention he deserved.

“Hope you don’t mind, I found a stray outside and thought I’d bring him in.” Christian smiled at you as he drawled in his aussie accent, his presence already easing your nerves a bit. It really was so hard not to like him.

“Stray?” You opened the door further, eyes practically bulging out of your skull as you spotted Mingi standing with a bouquet of your favorite flowers in his hands and a sheepish expression. “Mingi?”

When you looked to Christian for an explanation, he happily supplied one. “He was pacing out front, nearly running when he saw me. I made him talk, we had a heart to heart, and now he’s here to beg your forgiveness. Aren’t you, bub?”

Mingi nodded, appearing much smaller than he actually was next to the man that was physically smaller, but older than him. “I’m sorry Princess I-”

You stopped him by holding a hand up. “Come inside and apologize properly.” You held the door open for them both, more flabbergasted by the whole situation than nervous now. The way Christian handled Mingi was just comedic, especially as the taller man stumbled forward and nearly tripped over his own feet.

“For you.” Mingi squeaked out as he handed you the flowers, then began to take his shoes off at Christian’s instruction. Just what sort of heart to heart did they have?

Both were dressed up, dark button ups and slacks, their hair styled a bit differently than their usual every day. It wasn’t overboard, but definitely gave the vibes of a date. You couldn’t help but think of this as a date with them both, smelling the flowers before making your way over to the kitchen to find a vase. You put these ones on the table as a centerpiece, smiling at the flowers.

“I like them but…” You turned, hands placed on your hips as you narrowed your eyes on Mingi. “This doesn’t mean you’re forgiven. I’m giving you one last chance.”

“I know. I heard from everyone all week how I fucked up. My own feelings don’t justify how I invalidated yours, over and over again Princess… and I’m sorry. I did something stupid and I really wish I could take it back.” He reluctantly stepped closer, Christian having to nudge him a bit before he went and made himself home in the kitchen.

The ease the tattooed Aussie expressed in your apartment was comforting. He relaxed you, often did or said what you needed to hear. No stress, no contempt, just a solid rock almost. And then there was Mingi, a fiery passion that made you feel alive, and often loved and giddy. Fire and water, and you liked them both. One snuck up on you, the other hit you with a force you had been fighting with since that first night you gave him a chance.

The night you gave them both a chance it seemed.

“But you did it Mingi. You were hypocritical for one, and just an insufferable asshole! I’m not waiting around anymore you understand? I’m not compromising further anymore. I know what I want and if you aren’t willing to do that, to be a part of my life in that way, then you can leave right now. Sorry or not, I-”

“I know.” He suddenly got on his knees before you, head down and arms at his side. “I’m willing to try. Fuck I should’ve been willing from the start. I was so sure you would compare me to him, that you would find him better, and wouldn't want me anymore. I didn’t think to communicate, to really hear what you wanted and not what would make me feel secure. You should never have to sacrifice for me security. I knew that and yet I kept asking. And then I couldn’t ask you to be my girlfriend if I was asking such a shitty thing right?”

You listened to his confession, listened to him ramble, but you could see Christian leaning against the doorway to your kitchen with some snack, popping it in his mouth like popcorn. He could be so unserious sometimes, and it was an effort not to smile at his antics.

“I thought you would pick him if you were given the actual option because hell, I’d pick him over me.” It was Mingi’s red ears that gave away what he truly meant by that.

Oh, he found him attractive. He was probably crushing too.

It was starting to look like Wooyoung was going to win that bet with the others.

“Mingi… I picked you over him. I did. I really fucking did. And you treated me like shit. Now I’m picking him-” You leaned down to grip his chin, pulling his face up when his shoulders had dropped dejectedly, “-and you. If you’ll try.”

His eyes flickered to Christian immediately. “Is he… okay with that?”

“Bub, it was my idea.” He smiled over at the two of you, setting aside the snacks before making his way over. “Why not give it a trial run? See how we work together? The chemistry is there and this might be me being a little impatient but, one night to see how we do? In the bedroom that is.”

You liked that idea far too much to pass it up, and by the glazed look in Mingi’s boba eyes… so did he.

Though you didn't jump right into it, insisting that you do the date part first. So the three of you cooked, the small kitchen feeling much too hot with the three of you. The number of times you felt a hand on you - hip, ass, back, shoulder- had you in need of a cold shower. You didn't even care about how the food tasted at this point, just wanting it done.

The icing on the cake was that Christian was just as touchy with Mingi but more subtle: his hip, back, arms to guide him around. He was finding any excuse to touch you both and Mingi seemed just as affected by it as you were.

While cooking dinner was practically a constant buildup of tension, eating was a bit more relaxing. The conversation was actually on the food, and the surprise that it came out pretty well. Which you suspected was mostly because of Christian as you hadn’t been able to focus. You teased him for it, and that was the first moment you saw him get flustered.

It was almost adorable how much they both got flustered and a little giggly when you would compliment them. You knew of Mingi’s habit before, but the fact Christian wasn’t much different… it put you in quite the teasing mood.

Where Christian would tease, you would tease right back, Mingi becoming a victim of you both especially during the movie. You couldn’t remember what movie it was, Christian on your left and Mingi on your right, dwarfing you on the sofa but it had been their hands that made it hard to focus. Christian had his right arm over the back of the seat, his fingers running up Mingi’s shoulder and neck casually or playing with his hair subtly. His other kept intentionally moving to draw your attention to his lap until you had thrown one leg over his thigh and he was now firmly holding it.

You would tease him by playing with his fingers, slowly inching his hand up your thigh on purpose. All while you had leaned into Mingi a bit, a hand resting on his thigh. You knew Christian’s touches affected him because you could feel his muscles tense up each time, your own teasing touches doing the same to his thighs.

The tension had grown so palpable it was a wonder none of you had snapped already. Just from the teasing, the way you moved your body to expose yourself to them, encouraging them to touch, you were practically begging for it. You didn’t even care about the movie anymore, constantly watching them. Your thoughts wondered how Christian would kiss you, if he would make Mingi watch, or if he would make you watch. The possibilities were endless but you were getting so impatient.

“Fuck this.” He seemed to be even more so, turning to face you more and leaning in to crash his lips to yours. You welcomed him, moving your own eager lips and lifting your hands to his shoulders to pull him closer.

Mingi whined behind you. “Princess-” He shifted behind you so your back was against his firm chest, his hands running over your sides to your stomach.

You let out a soft noise against softer lips at the touch, being sandwiched between them like this making you feel even smaller and much more wet between the thighs. You still weren’t entirely sure how this was going to work, since you’ve never had more than one partner in bed at the time, but the three of you would figure it out.

It didn’t matter if they took turns, at the same time, or with each other… as long as they did it quickly. You could feel how hard Mingi was against your back, his lips now on your neck as he watched the way Christian kissed you. When you did get a moment to breath, it was only because Christian’s lips were now on Mingi, pulling such a whiny moan from the bigger man it had your head spinning.

Wanting a better view, and to get your clothes off because it was far too hot, you pulled yourself off them and the couch. Christian immediately fell forward against Mingi, gripping his neck and pushing him down on the couch.

This was probably the hottest sight you ever had the pleasure to experience; you couldn’t tear your eyes away from it as you pulled your clothes off without a care where they fell… only leaving on the lingerie set.

Mingi caught a glimpse of you, pulling his mouth away to gape with swollen and wet lips from how hard the two had been making out. His eyes were glazed over with that familiar look, you knew he wasn’t going to be in charge of anything today. Perfect really, he looked so good whenever he let you use him to get off.

Christian had also turned when Mingi did, his breath catching in his throat. With a groan he sat back and began unbuttoning his shirt. “You look beautiful, Love. I’m not the only impatient one am I?” He pulled the shirt off and tossed it aside,, exposing tattoos up both arms and down his chest that both you and Mingi were admiring with similar drooling expressions on your face.

He patted Mingi’s thigh as he stood up. “Strip big boy, I want to gawk too.”

The way Mingi scrambled up to get his clothes off as Christian swooped in and picked you up had your giggles turning into a gasp. You could feel how hard he was, your wet panties pressed against his clothed bulge and you couldn’t help but to grind down. The friction had your head falling back, giving access to the attack of love bites he was now pressing against the curve of your neck. He carried you down the hall to your room with a little guidance from Mingi who was now in just his briefs with a noticeable wet spot.

Christian didn’t put you down like you first expected, instead holding you against him while massaging your ass and grinding into you almost like a needy pup. He pulled his lips from the curve of your breast to look at Mingi. “On the bed, naked. Can’t forget you made her cry, that’s not going to fly anymore you understand?”

With heated boba eyes, he nodded. “I won’t. No more jealousy. I’ll make it up to her for the rest of my life if I have to.”

Christian smirked against your shoulder, “that’s what I like to hear.” A moment later he was setting you down on Mingi’s thighs, his cock right in front of you. “But let’s see how you can handle it really. Watch her face as I fuck her? Make her feel good? Just like you have been dreaming about, yeah bub?”

You and Mingi both whined in response.

Without being told, and much too eager for your own good, you leaned forward and lifted your hips. “Please, I don’t want to wait any longer.” After all you had technically been thinking about this since he left you after your coffee meetup.

Glancing over your shoulder, your breath lodged in your throat momentarily at the expression Christian wore: full of impatience, lust, and a bit of disbelief. The impatience won out as he pulled the rest of his clothes off quickly and climbed on the bed, knees on either side of Mingi’s legs but nudging your own further apart until you were pressed against Mingi and could feel his cock against your mound and stomach. “Prep first love, I’m not his size but I don’t want to hurt you for our first time.”

He only pushed your panties aside before pushing in two fingers, pulling your cheek away so he could see your cunt better even knuckle deep. You couldn’t watch well, too focused on the pleasure to keep yourself controted at such an angle and Christian was determined to press all the right buttons.

Mingi wasn’t going to just lay there it seemed, his hands finding your waist as he lifted his hips to grind his cock against you, the fabric of your panties getting pushed up more by his action.

Christian had other ideas, smacking both his hands while his fingers still fucked you with intention of spreading you out. “Aht, bubs, you’re still getting punished.” He leaned down and pressed a kiss against the center of your back, his cock heavy on the curve of your ass as he did so. “Love, hold his hands down. Don’t have to be too rough, just make sure he doesn’t move. Bubs is going to be a good boy and keep still though, aren’t you?”

You eagerly did as you were told, holding Mingi’s wrists as you pushed your hips back to meet Christian’s hand. Mingi was watching you both with his brows pushed up and pretty thick lips parted, looking so cute. The whole situation was quite hot, yet it still wasn’t enough.

Before you could beg, Christian was pulling his fingers out and leaning over you, tapping Mingi’s lips with them. He didn’t even have to tell Mingi what to do before the man was latching his pretty mouth over the appendages, tongue wrapping around as he sucked them clean. You were so fascinated by the visage that the cock suddenly spreading your hole further took you by surprise.

Christian wasn’t small, you suspected he wasn’t, but it was hard to beat Mingi’s monster cock. That didn’t discourage him, burying himself to the hilt and pressing down on your back to angle you just right that you felt him in all the right spots. A nice little perk was that it pressed your mound harder down on Mingi’s cock, the first thrust Christian gave sliding you up and rubbing your clit against him.

Yes, he wasn’t small but he knew just how to use you.

He kept his hand on the small of your back as he leaned back, holding you there as his hips built up a slow but harsh pace that had you sliding up Mingi’s cock and back down with each thrust. “Feels better than I imagined Love, and your pretty sounds- mmm fucking hell you’re addicting.”

You hadn’t even realized you were moaning and whimpering until he pointed it out, all your focus that wasn’t taken up by his cock had been on keeping your position still.

Mingi’s arms twitched under your hands, soft pants leaving his lips just above your head as you rested it on his chest. You gasped out as your head was suddenly pulled back, your expression on display as Christian had a fistful of your hair, grunting out, “he needs to see you.”

You locked eyes with Mingi, licking your lips at how delicious he looked, but his eyes did flicker back to Christian behind you quite a bit. Oh you wanted to know what sort of expression he made, but the thought was dashed when you felt a second intrusion in your cunt: he was pushing a finger in, stretching you out further even as his cock kept pushing in.

Eyes rolling back, the stimulation of your clit and his cock, had you coming and tightening your walls around him. “Shit, Love, not so tight-” Christian groaned out, hips stuttering in his pace as he tightened his hold on your hair. “Gotta stretch you out.”

“W-what for?” You gasped out, body still reeling from the orgasm and walls fluttering around his cock.

He chuckled, pushing a second finger in once you relaxed once more. “To take us both of course.”

Mingi’s eyes went wide, eyebrows scrunched so far up it was almost comical, but you couldn’t laugh considering you were just as shocked.

“Excuse me?” You gasped out, bouncing on his cock once more as he picked up his pace.

“You heard me love. I want you to take both of our cocks in your sweet cunt. What better way to see if this will work? To show we can really share? Other than by sharing your sweet fucking pussy?” He pulled out slowly with each sentence just to slam in before starting the next, tits bouncing with each thrust and hardened nipples scraping against Mingi’s chest.

“Thought I was getting punished?” Mingi groaned beneath you, clearly trying his best not to move but he was lifting his chest just a bit to feel your tits on you more, his tongue constantly flicking out as he watched them.

Christian let go of your hair to instead grab your throat and you could feel the metal of his rings against your esophagus as he leaned forward. “Have you not yet realized I want you too big boy? And I want to feel that pretty fucking cock rubbing against mine as her delicious cunt squeezes us both so tightly we’re seeing heaven.”

You and Mingi both whined at that, resulting in a chuckle from Christian as he pushed in a third finger and pushed them apart to stretch you out even more. It was a bit uncomfortable, never having been so stretched out before, but you knew this was nothing compared to how they would both feel inside you.

Once the man felt satisfied, he pulled out completely, dropping your neck gently before he flipped you around so your back was against Mingi’s chest. “Hold her legs.”

Mingi complied immediately, his head slotted next to yours as his hands were gripping the back of your knees and holding your legs up and wide.

Christian grinned at the sight, tongue playing with his bottom lip while he took a moment to touch you both. “Such a pretty cock-” He was gripping Mingi’s shaft now, lifting it to line his tip with your cunt you were sure was gaping for them, “-and such a beautiful pussy. Going to look so good, all connected, yeah?”

Meeting Mingi’s eyes, Christian nodded in a silent command before watching Mingi push in, shifting you down his body a little so you could take more of his cock easier. With how stretched out you were, Mingi slipped in so easy but there was still a stretch the deeper he went and it felt amazing. You could never get used to how good he felt inside, each time just as new and exciting as the first.

“I could get used to watching this.” Christian hummed before adjusting himself to crouch on his feet, adjusting himself so that his own cock lined up with your entrance. He braced himself on the back of your thing, guiding his tip in before bringing his thumb to your clit. He rubbed soft circles as he pushed in, attempting to be gentle as the stretch was now painful. “I know love, but you can take it. You’re such a good girl, I know you can take it. Mmm look at that, halfway in.” He paused, panting.

“So… fucking… tight-” MIngi groaned against your ear, voice gruff from his own pleasure. You knew he was trying to control himself, his grip almost bruising as he watched Christian continue to push in while rubbing your bundle of nerves.

Soon enough they were both balls deep inside you, all three of you panting from the effort as you tried to adjust but they felt so big and you couldn’t stop clenching down around them. Mingi sounded as if he was one thrust away from cumming inside you, and maybe that was all the three of you had.

Christian didn’t stop rubbing your clit, easing away the pain until you were whimpering and grabbing his forearm. “P-please- just fuck me already. Wanna cum with you both. Wanna fill how big I get.” Your other hand pressed down on your lower stomach, and that was the final trigger.

They both began to thrust into you harshly, your cries quickly filling the room as your head fell back. “Oh fuck oh God yes yes please!” quickly became too jumbled up to be decipherable from the intense pleasure they fucked into you.

It was unlike anything you had ever felt, so full, so thoroughly stretched out with every single nerve ending getting rubbed just right that you were on the cusp of soaking all of you.

When Mingi reached up and grabbed the back of Christian’s neck, pulling him down to crush his lips to his own, you hit your release with a silent scream. Your walls pulsated around them both,adding pressure that had them moaning into each other’s mouths until they were filling you up just as you promised.

The three of you were a sweaty, convulsing mess as you rode out your climaxes together, panting in each other’s ears and struggling to remember how your lungs work.

You tapped Christian’s shoulder, turning your head to kiss him, the Mingi, taking turns swapping spit and tongue and watching them do the same until their softening cocks and the leaking cum was becoming uncomfortable.

“S-shower?” You rasped out, gently pushing Mingi’s hands off you so your legs could straight out a bit, pushing Christian off in the process.

“We can.” The aussie grinned as he sat next to you both. “Or we can try a few more dynamics?”

You playfully hit his shoulder, glancing back at Mingi. “We’ll have plenty of time for that, won’t we baby? You did say forever right?”

Mingi blushed a bit but nodded. “Yes… You have us both.”

You licked your lips, cupping both of their cheeks. “Mmm, two of the hottest, most adorable dorks, just for me?”

“Just for you.” They said together, grins almost matching. You could live with that.

| @minheeskitten | @sousydive | @alextheweeb7 | @thesafecafe | @euphoricem

| @meepsters-world | @mysticfire0435 | @yejisuu | @apriecotte | @amphiroxx 

| @cloudysannie | @sugarnspice630 | @isiloiale | @plutoneu | @venn-ie

| @therealcuppicake | @lavishloving | @pearltinyy | @vampiregirl215

| @heihaneul | @gugggu6gvai | @oddinaryxfever | @smally97 | @pandagirl-016

| @hecateslittlewitchling | @arinyyy | @lovelgirl22 | @stayatinykatsy | @noone356097 |

@bunnliix | @skteezcursed

[elexaria]

religious!johnny mactavish x afab! reader smut bc i said so

ONE LAST POST I SWEAR and then i will sleep except not rlly bc its 8am and i have to get ready for a virtual meeting RRR

ANYWAYS.

cw — afab! reader, nothing too spicy, foreplay, pnv, religious corruption ig?? idk, johnny is just too damn horny for his own good and hes a good christian boy n all but…. pussy go brr

johnny had always been devoted to his faith, going to church with his wee grandma ever since he could walk n talk. swears to himself and the big man in the sky when he came of age that he’d wait for the one, he’d save himself for marriage as god intended him to do.

you were agnostic at best, but that was fine to him. you respected his faith, you even attended church with him when he occasionally goes! a loving, supportive partner — that’s all he could ever ask for.

well, not really.

see, you’re so damn pretty. such a pretty thing, all snuggled up in the crook of his arm as you two lay in bed, watching a movie before you’ll eventually go to sleep. he told you from day one that he wants to wait until marriage, it’s important to him. and you respect that! you do occasionally find yourself pouting whenever your friends gloat about their sex lives, and you just kinda have to go “ahahaha yep, still haven’t gotten fucked by johnny yet. still ain’t married—“ awkwardly, and they playfully tease you about it but they don’t care. you’re in the most healthiest relationship you’d ever been in, they love him!

but i digress. his fingers gently stroke along the length of your arm, as they always do. he’s a bit of a fidgety fella, it’s the ol’ adhd, he tells you. so his fingers dance around the fabric of your tshirt, the texture is satisfying to the pads of his fingertips. the movie continues on, and you giggle at a snarky quip someone makes. it makes his lips twitch up into a small grin, the sound of your giggle. his fingers are still absentmindedly touching around, and that’s when he accidentally grazes your boob.

and oh my god.

wait, what? it’s nothing like he’d ever felt before— he slyly looks down at you, to see if you’ve caught on. and with another sneaky swipe, that confirms it. his blood is running hot, and my god he can no longer concentrate. two fingers run across the swell of your breast from underneath your tshirt, you shiver as you look up at him. and god, you had never seen him look like that before. flared nostrils as his breathing grows heavy, his jaw clenched. “johnny—“ you mutter as he now begins to slowly paw at your soft breast, and it makes you whine at how good it feels to be touched like this.

"it's no like we're daein' anything serious here, aye? just some light pettin'." johnny justifies to himself as he mumbles into the crook of your neck as his hand darts under your shirt, groaning at the soft mounds of fat that jiggle with each grope. how much you whine and gasp as he pinches a peaked bud between his fingers. his cock is rock hard, screaming for attention. but he stops, borderline panting as he looks down at you. he looks guilty, but he has to restrain himself. he’s saving himself for marriage, remember?

you shyly scuttle off to the bathroom to finish yourself off, the tap running to hide the obscene squeals you make as you sit on the bathroom floor, one hand pressed over your mouth while the other rubs intricately tight circles around your throbbing clit. meanwhile, johnny’s stroking his cock just from the thought of what had just happened, groaning as he spills himself into a tissue.

he swore he would keep his virginity in tact for when you two finally got married.

"i'm savin' masel' for marriage, ye ken." he mutters as his fingers stroke the glistening folds of your puffy cunt, sucking the air through his teeth as his fingers coax every last tantalising moan from you as he fingers you, your hands wrapped around his cock as you mutually pleasure one another.

“it’s no sex,” he justifies to himself as you suck his cock, eyes half-lidded as one hand cups the base of his shaft, the other cupping his swollen, full balls with a wanton gaze in your eyes. “fuck, ye have no idea whit yer daein’ tae me.” he growls, fucking into your mouth slowly as his cross pendant thumps against his hairy chest with each buck of his hips.

“it’s just the tip, yeah?” as his heart races, his swollen tip rubbing into your clit, and you swear you’re fit to burst when just the tip, like he promises, slowly sinks into your pussy. he grips onto the pillows besides your head, his eyes glossed over as he tries so hard not to cum right then and there. his breathing is rugged, his pupils narrow as he slowly sinks himself deeper inside you. you both moan together, sweat glossed foreheads pressed against one another as you two join in a debauched union.

“fuck me— ye feel fuckin’ divine.” he growls as he pulls out, slamming his hips right into you with a snarl. “gonnae cum so fuckin’ fast, baby girl. fuck, look at ye.” he says between rugged breaths, eyes bearing right down at you as you tighten and pulse around his cock, eyes fluttering as you cum right then and there. fuck, the wait— or lack there of it — was worth it. with a couple of lazy, sporadic thrusts, johnny spills himself inside you with a primal roar, his knuckles white as he grips the sheets while your velvety vice of a pussy milks him of every last drop of the thick ropes of cum churned from his now drained balls.

in the haze of it all, johnny groans as he pulls out, his eyes fixated on the sight of his cum dripping out of your puffy cunt. his fingers crook up into you, gently pumping his essence right back inside of you. “better have a wee chat with the big man upstairs about this. fuck, no that i could resist this. christ, look at the sight of ye.” he chuckles, his thumb grazing against your swollen clit with an affectionate smile.

“i mean, fuck me, am gonnae marry ye so fast if it means i get tae do this all the time.”

[shapelytimber]

A Taste of Faith

[PRINT] - [COMMISSIONS]

Ok so the concept for this piece was : historical gay nuns, and 70s lesbian vampire movies meets tes (don't ask me why- I just had a vision at 3 am)

Because I think Serana should have been meaner<3 I love women's wrongs and when vampires do the suck <3

Btw of you want to see more gay Serana art, go check out @gay-of-waterdeep, their art is wonderful, and I can't say this was not a bit inspired by what they do :))

Process (and me rambling about some of my favorite 70s lesbian vampire movies (because I have a problem)) below vvv

Additional details about this drawing ! 1) I used the same Mara design than the one from my tarot deck :)) and 2) the other woman is one of the priestess in the temple in Riften lglggigkglgl her name is *check wiki* Dinya Balu

And now......... Some movies I enjoy because my house my rules, you came this far so why not hear about niche european movies :))))))

Disclaimer for a majority of the films in this genre : the male gaze is very fucking obvious in these movies... they were made by men for men, and the message is often "lesbianism is a dangerous temptation for women". It's a glairing flaw nearly all of them share and that sucks (and frankly it's a flaw Serana's writting kinda has in my opinion, minus the lesbianism part, but let's not dwell on that)- so if you can't get past it, it's completly understandable, be on your way and have a nice day <3

- Daughters of Darkness ! A toxic man is returning to london with his newly wed wife, but they get stuck in Belgium and are forced to stay in a luxurious hotel. Don't worry about the 10/10 smokeshow countess seducing his wife :). Completely unrelated, this movie has, in my opinion, the most beautiful lesbian kiss I've ever seen- but I might not be very objective because Delphine Seyrig is there lglglflflllglm The best one in the list ! So if you want to whatch one, whatch this one <3

- The blood spattered bride ! This is more of... an aquired taste let's say- but I really like it ! A quite effective horror movie, with goofy ass scenes (shoutout to the vampire lady buried in the sand naked with only a diving mask that is not the screenshot because tits), and emasculation being a recuring theme <3 (but if you want to watch it, please check the content warnings beforehand, it has a lot of very shocking and frontal scenes, and it's the 70s so it's not done very tactfully. Also pretty intense flashing lights)

- The vampire lovers ! Ok so this one is a lot less fun compared to the other two because it's made by the Hammer BUT... 1) Ingrid Pitt hello and 2) it's such a intriging thing to see a very christian/conservative studio make a film like that. I know a lot of people don't like the Hammer movies from the 70s, because the studio had a lot less money, and were making wild decisions. But I love them, because they tend to be much more fun bloody and sexy ! I'm a simple woman mjllkklhkhlhlho case in point with the vampire lovers (although if you want a fun vampire hammer movie from the 70s, Dracula ad 1972 is way better). And Peter Cushing is there (i love this man so much-) !

And now I shall resume my quest to find Vampire Lesbos by Jésus Franco and have a probably mid experience watching it xoxo

[chaifootsteps]

I'm the anon who compared the full moon deal to the Fifty Shades scene where Christian & Ana discuss the dom/sub contract

Thought I should point out that the directors of the movie version obviously realized how sketchy Christian comes across, because movie Christian doesn't purposefully try to get Ana drunk. Instead they just discuss the dom/sub contract one on one in a room with no distractions. Movie Christian still kinda sucks as a person (especially movies 2&3 when the original author got way more creative control and the original female directors got fired) but at some point in time there was some pushback that if EL James refused to have Christian challenged or presented as in the wrong in any real way, they should at least take out most of the dubcon stuff instead of presenting it like it's nbd

the writers treatment of Stolas circa s2 doesn't even manage that level of awareness.

We're supposed to buy that Stolas respects and cares for Blitzo when he jeopardizes something Blitzo cares a lot about - his business - and doesn't bother having an adult discussion with him about a contract for terms surrounding his use of the book (or even any failsafes for keeping the book safe, Stolas is just that negligent). This was OK when the writers were cognizant that Stolas sucks eggs, but now in s2 when we're supposed to buy him as the most tragic put upon royal of all time their solution to the massive problems with the full moon deal is to have Stolas put an end to it...because he's no longer satisfied with what he's getting out of Blitz and ending the deal is just a means to an end to him so they can be a real couple

what I'm getting at here is that Stolas is worse than both the movie version of Christian Grey, the book version of Christian Grey and doesn't even have the minimum self awareness Grey has that he's, in his own words, Fifty Shades of Fucked Up

Just to stress how messed up this is, Stolas is worse than the guy who at one point just straight up ignores the safeword. That is how badly Viv's messed up writing this character.

[m1ssunderstanding]

Get Back Rewatch 55 Years On: Day One

So I know this has probably been overdone by lots of people on lots of years but I haven't done it yet and I want to so here goes: I'm going to rewatch get back with the days matched up and catalogue my thoughts as I watch.

We don't get to see George and John saying hi to each other, but I'm struck by how careful they are with Ringo when he comes in. "Hi Ringo, happy new year." From both of them, with full eye contact soft, sweet voices. I wonder if they're really wanting to be so gentle with him after what happened at the end of August. Not like walking on eggshells at all, but just very "we're working on doing better because we care about you."

While Paul's not there, John is giving George full attention, leaning in to him, facing him while they sing, and George seems to really love it

But then Paul shows up and you can tell before we even see him that he's arrived, because suddenly John's gaze is gone from George. His eyebrows shoot up, he chin-tilts, and (this sounds insane I know but it's what I just watched) his singing drastically improves. He's putting effort in, performing.

Paul sits down and the shy little grins and glances and inside jokes (at George's expense and hypocritical of John) ensue immediately.

Ringo's jacket. The black with the maroon velvet collar. It's very cool and it's very unique to him. I don't see the other three pulling it off the way he does. He just has effortless swagger. If the other three wore something like that they'd look like try-hards.

George's sassy little hair flip. "oh, you're recording our conversation?"

Meanwhile John and Paul are back at it like magnets I swear. Turned in to each other, talking gibberish, and strumming

George with the deadpan sass again. "Maybe we should just learn a few songs first." Lol he's so stone cold.

"Oh please believe me." "Yes I will." Come on. Do you ever stop? And then the silent communication when they screwed up. We don't see Paul's face but John makes such a cute "oops sorry" face and they keep going.

Paul's literally so bossy. I find it such a turn on, really, watching it. Just because it's him being a genius who has a vision and sucks at social skills. But if I were in that band and he wasn't letting me hit I'd literally hate him.

John's so delighted with Paul's "everybody's got a hard on... Except for me and my monkey." Because that's one of the ways he often expresses his love for Paul and Paul's giving it back to him here. So John's just "Oh he made a joke about my song. He's teasing me. He does like me."

Paul literally diggs John's part of IGAF so fucking hard though. Like as soon as John's singing, Paul can not be still. Can not. He just thinks John's so so clever (and to be fair he is)

Crazy eye fucking continues

Then Paul's off to talk big boy plans with the daddies for a minute. (would love to know who he waved at then sucked his finger) "Is this your place, Twickenham?" Okay. Feeling out a potential daddy's pockets. I see you.

Obsessed with Yoko's emerald bag and how she got her little boyfriend to wear the exact color of Henley. Ken was literally made to be Barbies accessory and he's doing such a great job matching her purse. She's so pretty and cool.

It cracks me up how extremely nonchalant Ringo is about Magic Christian. (I LOVE that movie. Ringo is so hot in it and it's anti-capitalist so it's a winner). Dennis O'Dell is all "the scripts are marvelous." And Ringo's just "yeah you told me." And then Dennis is like "I'll take up up and show you around these really great sets." Ringo: "yeah okay." It's almost like the other three have no chill so he has to have only chill to balance it out.

They really are so blunt with each other when they don't like something. "I don't dig that." "Scrap that." Which is good. If only they could've been blunt when they did like things too though. And I guess they were sometimes. Like John telling Paul to keep that lyric in Hey Jude. But I don't think they were half as open with their positive feelings about each other's work as they were the other way around and that's so sad to me.

Why does George single Paul out about the sandwiches? It's cute. I love it. But what is it? Is he particularly worried about Paul and food because Paul's picky? Is it just their relationship that they take care of each other in these simple ways because they can't take care of each other emotionally?

Fucking hell why does Paul literally flirt with everyone all the time? "No separation in there." "Rain or snow will do me." "Yeah, you're pretty right, Michael."

Pretty sure John was looking at the lyrics of TOU off that sheet that said "Another Quarrymen Original" at the bottom. I wonder what he thought of that. I wonder if it was there to signal him, and if so what was it signalling? "Hey this is about you."??

"Two of us Henry Cooper." Referencing a boxer in a song about him and John. Why? Because they're fighting?

[benwvatt]

for the weekend sleepover ask game: what are your favorite Grey's headcanons?

aaaaahhhh beachy i love chatting with you! <3

i need alex & jackson & april to move in together and be, like a weird group of 3. sort of a grover-percy-annabeth or a katara-sokka-aang in terms of the cheesy couple and their weird best friend who has emotional regulation issues but, like, needs hugs. he just also needs you to be chill so he doesn't feel embarrassed. and when he's sick he also wants japril to watch movies with him and make him chamomile tea

jackson fell first but april fell harder!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

can we please give matthew some actual character development because i would LOVE to see him actually grow & develop. I'm an exchristian and I really loved the episode where matthew & april talked about her not being a virgin because I found it very insightful and lovely.

I am team-matthew's wife never dies and april never marries matthew and he actually gets to grow as a human being. also he gets to be happy.

I always loved April as christian representation because she is a christian but is so kind (and I also headcanon that she has very complex feelings about christianity and the struggle against god. I can see her partly deconstructing.)

I am team-everyone lives AU. teddy and henry were CUTE. so were teddy and alison, and merder (who are not, like, my absolute favorites but I want them to be happy and I want derek to become a better person, not die because he reached for his phone while turning his truck.)

IF SAMUEL HAD LIVED AND JAPRIL COULD HAVE GOTTEN A STORYLINE ABOUT RAISING A DISABLED KID !!!! IT COULD HAVE BEEN GOOD DISABILITY REP!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am also team "Link and Amelia get back together" because I LOVE their romance and am so mad they broke up

I realize not all of these are headcanons. this is just a list of what I want to see. WHATEVER???

nonbinary callie because [gestures at sara ramirez in all their glory]

CALLIE AND ARIZONA SECOND WEDDING TO RENEW THEIR VOWS

also mark & lexie live happily ever ever ever after and they dance at the second wedding <3

okay we both love japril so also

Jackson is really good at crosswords and April is so fucking pissed at him for it

April (with Jackson's consent) yells at Jackson's dad for being terrible and Jackson becomes weird best friends with April's dad. They drink beer and listen to country songs and talk about, like, spirituality and god and soccer games and cherry pie recipes. Jackson learns how to drive a tractor and he meets Jackson, the pig April named after him, which the Kepners refuse to kill because HE IS NAMED A HUMAN NAME.

They also talk about April's embarrassing cute childhood (Jackson has 65353 pictures on his phone) and Jackson ALSO yells at April's family for making her feel embarrassed. Kids with disabilities and braces don't need to be shamed and mocked.

Jackson becomes friends with April's dad because he gets to have a dad (well, aside from Webber, who is also a nice dad figure) who loves him for HIM :'))))))))))))))

it's very healing and wonderful. he totally cries on mr. kepner's flannel shirt.

Jackson keeps his lucky pencil from med school and fucking signs his marriage certificate with it. (Office person voice: Sir, that's not valid. We need BLACK or BLUE PEN.)

JACKSON AND APRIL START A GLOBAL HEALTH NONPROFIT

Can we please have an April-centric storyline about why the US military fucking sucks and she had a nice time with them but was also, uh, IN THE MILITARY

April goes to her med school reunion and is like, "oh? this guy? yeah, whatever, he's super famous. mostly he just makes me tea and hangs out with our kids, I don't think of him as an AVERY"

everyone is super impressed. jackson is silly and goofy and eats hors d'ouevres with her

can we please get a Reed Lives AU because I LOVE REED (mostly because i am gay and i think she has cool hair) and I want to see more of her and April's friendship.

marginally off-topic rant but: the San Francisco episodes where they're doing the board exams and japril has sex in the bathroom? MY HEADCANON - VERY SLIGHT - IS THAT THEY WOULD JUST HAVE SEX ON THE COUNTER, NOT GO INTO THE STALL AND SLAM THE DOOR SHUT

BECAUSE WHY WOULD YOU NEED TO LOCK THE STALL AND HAVE SEX IN THERE IF THE MAIN BATHROOM DOOR IS ALREADY LOCKED?????????

also, april totally takes kickboxing lessons after beating up that guy at the bar (at the boards) and Jackson is just Very Turned On by his cool friend who, like, comes home from kickboxing all SWEATY? and BRUISED? taking off the tape around her hands and peeling off her tank top to get in the shower? it's really hot and he's very confused.

[icarus-suraki]

Got this as a reply ages ago on my Ao3 post:

Yes, even that story.

Ao3 is not a platform. Ao3 is an archive.

Okay, so, this story was definitely not for the you, commenter. That's all there is to it. Not every story is for every person. And that's just how it is. And it's okay. There's an old saying in librarianship: "Every book its reader; every reader, a book."

But rather than freaking out, maybe we ought to query why the creator wrote and posted that story.

Because if they wrote it with the intention to be shocking and transgressive, they clearly succeeded. You, commenter, are shocked and find the whole thing extremely transgressive. Conceptually, it's a bit like novels that say drugs are great. Or like any number of commercially published novels that take on graphic murders. Horror novels have some fucked up shit in them sometimes and people who enjoy exploring intense emotions and situations in a fictional context read those without engaging in those behaviors.

For the record, I read a lot of "transgressive" literature and I'm out in the world with a job and a place to live and an internet connection. Meanwhile, fans of Christian fiction can be some of the most vicious beasts I have ever encountered. Thoughts?

This particular example, though, is also interesting because it's like inverse zoophilia/zoosadism--the human is the victim here, somehow. Zooisms have been a hot topic in recent years--so does this story stir up personal reactions to that topic? Is that the intention? I'm not about to defend acting zoophiles/zoosadists because they're literally engaging in animal abuse. Like, that's a crime. (Was the dog in this story a German shepherd? It's always German shepherds for some reason with the zoos.)

Or is the concern that this is the author's kink? Because there's a lot of concern over kinks anymore and whether a kink is acceptable or whether kinks are acceptable at all. Who is this story for? Someone with a similar kink? Don't start on the "consuming porn leads to more porn and more violent porn until you're a sexually-motivated serial killer" line because that comes out of a Ted Bundy interview and we all know he was a consummate liar. Again: horror fans read some fucked up shit. Mystery novel fans read some fucked up shit, even if they say the "good ending" absolves them of that. And they're not killing people.

Engaging with an unusual interest or desire on a level removed from reality is a much safer way to engage with that interest than in reality. Fiction is not reality. Movies are not reality. Theater is not reality. BDSM is theater and theater is not reality. These are all things with a remove from reality, which lets one engage with an interest without harm to self or others.

I can guarantee you that there are stories just as, if not more, distressing to you, the commenter, in notebooks and computer files all over the world. They still exist though they aren't published. You don't have to have read a story like the above to find a socially dangerous interest like this. These things can arise in relative isolation. Source: I grew up before the internet became what it is now and I have seen some shit.

The fact that this particular story was posted online suggests a desire on the part of the author to share it. Why would they want to do that? To shock readers? To find people with similar desires? Publication/posting implies a desire for responses. Why do you think this story was written? Why do you think it was shared? Who is the intended audience?

I'm sorry this story upset you, commenter. It absolutely sucks to get blindsided by a story (or any kind of media) that you find upsetting. It's certainly happened to me and I didn't like it either. I have had a lot of religious anxiety for most of my life and getting surprised by Chick Tracts being left around in the bookstore where I worked was not a good time. So, yes, I sympathize.

But it's impossible to control what billions of humans are going to be saying, doing, writing, or interested in. You can't stop people from writing fucked up shit, as much as you would like to. The best thing you can do is create a system to alert others about what, if anything, might be distressing in a piece of media. This is why, if one is usual Ao3 like a lending library and not an archive, there are content warnings, age recommendations, and tags. You can't control what everyone else is doing, but you can and should protect yourself as much as necessary. And, yes, that does mean that you have to deal with things that you don't like existing in shared spaces in the world. You may have to work on coming to terms with that. And yes I am serious. I have had to do the same thing in my life.

Also I have a lot of questions. How did you find this story? Was it by accident or was it intentional? What was the story "about"? How was it written? Was it genuine or was it a troll? Was the dog cognitively on a level with a human? How canine/anthropomorphized was the dog in this story? Was this Scooby Doo fanfic? Was this werewolf fanfic? Are you concerned that dogs will read this story and go on to rape eleven year-olds?

So why would someone write a story in which an eleven year-old gets raped by their dog?

And, gang, I anonymized the commenter on purpose. Don't go seek them out.

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Bengiyo Queer Cinema Syllabus

For those who are not aware, I have decided to run the gauntlet of @bengiyo’s Queer Cinema Syllabus and have officially started Unit 3: Faith and Religion. The films in Unit 3 are: But I’m a Cheerleader (2000), Prayers for Bobby (2009), Latter Days (2003), Blackbird (2014), The Wise Kids (2011), Henry Gamble’s Birthday Party (2015)

Today I will be writing about

Latter Days (2003) dir. C. Jay Cox

[Run Time: 1:48 , Available: tubi, youtube premium, amazon but you have to get a free trial to something else…I tried watching it…somewhere else but they were updating the movie so I caved and went to tubi, Lang: English] 

Summary: Latter Days is a 2003 American romantic comedy-drama film about a gay relationship between a closeted Mormon missionary and his openly gay neighbor. (from wiki)

Cast: * Wes Ramsey as Christian Markelli * Steve Sandvoss as Elder Aaron Davis 

___

Content Warnings because I don't really write about those parts of the movie here: this film gets to a dark place, it includes self harm/a suicide attempt, homophobia, medical torture, and a story about being left to die by a parent. Alright, so after sufficiently crying my eyes out binging Eternal Yesterday, I decided there was enough time in the evening to knock out another film from the syllabus. Today’s film was (partially) about Mormons and Mormonism. My own personal understanding of Mormonism does not extend too far beyond The Book of Mormon: The Musical. Which gave me some impression that homosexuality is a sin, but only if acted upon. 

Which, is gonna suck for our poor dear Elder Davis, when he and three other Elders roll in to Los Angeles and in to a house across from our beloved booty shorts wearing waiter. The movie seems pretty low budget, and it’s from 2003 so there are some, what I would call cheesy camera effects happening at the beginning, but I still enjoyed the way the world seemed sped up and disorienting when Mr. Mormon lands in Los Angeles from his home in Idaho. 

I love our introduction to Christian as an unapologetically queer, slutty man and not only that, but Christian has his sex life together. He remembers who he has slept with, and when, and takes fucking notes and everything. Like, he’s truly impressive. 

gif from @bl-bam-beyond

Aaron and Christian make eye contact as every love at first sight story is wont to do, and then realize later they are neighbors. At which point a lot of decently subtle things start to happen. Aaron starts sitting outside to study his scripture in hopes of running in to Christian, Aaron and Christian talk about his mission trip, we get to see the four Elders interact, etc. and these subtler moments were aspects of this film that I deeply appreciated. 

Do not get me wrong, this film is absolutely critical of the Mormon church, (there is a scene near the end of the film where Elder Davis is getting excommunicated from the church for being a homosexual), but there are a lot of quite parts they do not say out loud around the intentional isolation that The Church of Latter Day Saints creates by sending their boys on missions trips in the first place. 

This film does not, in my opinion, explicitly discuss or state that mission trips really seem to be less to recruit new members and more to make sure their younger members don’t go running off to join the rest of society. The Elders are not allowed to see their family for two years, their families are not allowed to see them, they are not allowed to listen to music, to watch television, all the Elders in that location live together in one house, they share a room so there is no privacy, they go knocking door to door to try to spread the word only to have the doors slammed repeatedly in their face. These tactics exist to make these boys homesick, to make the outer world seem hostile, to bring the Mormon roommates closer together when the outsiders push them away. But the implication is there. 

I have to share the quote that comes with this gif: "You're gonna come in to my house and tell me God hates homosexuals?" || "And the French!"

And actually, the thing I appreciate the most about this commentary is the fact that the Elders are aware of this, and that they are allowed to be young men. I loved that one Elder was talking to Aaron about how mission trips were designed to be difficult, and that you can tell he is generally disinterested in spreading The Word. This Elder views his mission trip as the last major hoop he has to jump through before he can marry his girlfriend and “finally nail her”. Horniness fuels his motivation to get through this mission. 

These “Elders” (and I put quotes here not to strip them of their titles but to point out the irony) are nineteen or twenty years old. They are fucking gross. Their apartment is decorated like boys live there, with bean bag chairs and all, and they fart on each other, and wrestle, and bite their bedframes to try to stop themselves from jerking off. Hell, when they first move in, Christian mistakes them for a frat house. They are homophobic, and throw slurs around, but they look incredulous at the mere thought of consuming alcohol. 

The first time Aaron is faced with the potential to give in to his gay thoughts, he tells Christian he hasn’t done anything. When Christian says it doesn’t have to mean anything and Aaron says “yes it does”, he asks “my first time can just be a little fun for you?” like Aaron was fully planning on having sex with Christian. I like that Aaron, as a young man is going 0 to 100 with the physical intimacy. 

I often have difficulty with romance stories in movie formats because I have to push past how quickly two characters fall in love. Which is the case here that Christian is confessing his love for Aaron after they have interacted like…five times total. But, I appreciate the ways they show us that Christian and Aarong would be good for each other. We see them being absolute nerds, saying movie quotes to each other. I love that we know Aaron is going to break the rules and eventually give in to Christian, just based on the fact that he gives Christian his first name. Which he is not supposed to use when he’s on his mission trip.

gif from @bl-bam-beyond

I am not a religious person, so I don’t usually pay attention to whether or not a film that critics religion is going to take a hard atheistic turn or not. But I actually thought it was compassionate, kind, and in keeping with the nature of like, religion as spirituality, versus religion as control and fear tactic. I like that all these little coincidences happened, that Christian saw Aaron through his taxi cab window, that Aaron talked to and comforted Lila (Christians’ boss) when she was having a bad day and she gave him her card and told him to come to her restaurant for a free meal, that when Christian is looking for Aaron his random doodles end up being the phone number he needs to call, that Julie in stealing entries from Christian’s diary for her song allowed Aaron to hear it in the facility his parents put him in and return to LA, and that Aaron and Christian were reunited because Aaron cashed in on that free meal from Lila. 

And so too with the man Christian meets who is dying of AIDS, how he touches him and only sees snow. How he chalks that up to Christian being a blank person, shallow. The same way that Aaron has described Christian “there is nothing, nothing about you, Christian that isn’t skin deep”. And how we see Christian recoil from the touch, from the words ‘snow’ (and we will come to find out later, why that is the case).

Like these can all be coincidences, or they could be chalked up to fate, or a higher power, or whatever you want. Latter Days does not reject the idea of religion, it leaves room for a religious, higher power explanation to exist. Aaron and Aaron’s faith, the way he views the world, the importance that his values hold to him do still impact Christian. I don’t know how much he believes in God, but when Aaron calls him shallow, he takes that to heart, he really thinks about it, he realizes that what has been drawing him to Aaron is the depth, the conversations, they aren’t just gonna fuck. 

Not that I think monogamy needs to happen, or that Christian needs to have calmed down the sluttiness. Just, that in a film about religion and its intersections with sexuality, when you are going to be critical of a Church that has done very very real harm. That there is a mutual exchange here. Christian gets more depth as a result of meeting Aaron and Aaron (eventually) gets freedom as a result of meeting Christian. 

BL Side Note

I also need to say, since this syllabus is technically supposed to act as a lead up to BLs, that Latter Days has the sponge bath trope! Aaron wipes down Christian’s body with a washcloth after he faints from seeing blood. The sexual tension rises between Aaron and Christian, until they are about a fraction of a second away from kissing, and Aaron bails. 

For/By/About 

Gay Trifecta.

The director of Latter Days, C. Jay Cox is a gay man and a (former) fifth generation Mormon. 

This film did not hit me in the emotional place where I would normally say the films I rate as For The Queers go. But, this is a deeply personal film for the screen writer and Director who is gay and therefore it feels like it should be for gays. And, in addition I feel like they were enough casual references to things that don’t get full explanations that would read and be understood by a queer audience but maybe not by a straight audience. I think there are dimensional portrayals of the queer characters and they don’t succumb to stereotypes, and for those reasons I would categorize it as being for us. 

Favorite Moment 

The post-sex conversation that Aaron and Christian have, where Aaron asks if Christian has ever had the experience of being cut off from everything, and we finally get some more of Christian’s backstory. Now, like I said above, there are some understated aspects of this film that I do think are really smart. Aaron calls Christian shallow at one point, and my first thought was “oh honey, you are wrong” because of how Christian spoke to Aaron earlier on in the movie about being desperate to get away from home. Sure, Christian is generally now, emotionally reserved and has some growing to do. But, Aaron vastly underestimates the weight behind a gay man saying that he left home and never looked back. Because Aaron had a good relationship to his family (before he came out). 

If the monologue wasn’t multiple paragraphs I would probably put the whole speech as my favorite quote.  But, fundamentally what makes this scene for me is that Christian is telling Aaron this, while they are both naked in bed. Aaron has just had sex for the first time, and there is just this level of casual inclusion of nudity. I am generally an advocate for increasing the inclusion of non-sexual nudity on screen. I feel like people tend to spend a lot more causal time naked than they do sexual time naked, and I think Latter Days did a really phenomenal job of shifting between sexual nudity and casual nudity in the same setting, with the same characters, at the same time. 

When Aaron and Christian first enter the airport hotel, they are shedding their clothing with the intention of having sex. The scene is charged with sexual tension, shirts and pants are coming off as fast as they can, every movement brings them closer to the bed. But after they are done, Aaron, still naked, slides across Christian’s naked body to grab a watch off the floor, and Christian holds his leg so he won’t slide off the bed. It’s just comfortable. When Christian is talking to Aaron about his experience of being left in a snowstorm by his father, they are nude because they are being laid bare. I don’t know if I can describe it properly, but I just love that this really important conversation, where Aaron is learning that Christian understands far far better than Aaron ever could have thought about what you risk losing when you are queer, happens with literally everything out in the open. 

Favorite Quote 

“It’s early November, the same as now, and there's this storm rolling in. My dad was so determined that sissy boy was going to kill something. Snow came at us from all sides. The air, the sky, the ground they all became the same and horrible screaming white and I thought ‘we’re gonna be OK, right?” And then I saw my father’s eyes and they were that same white…and that’s when he did it.” “He did what?”  “Ran.” 

This quote comes from part of the monologue I mentioned in my Favorite Scene.

Score

8/10

Latter Days is an 8/10 for me for a few reasons, the acting was not always the best, it was clear they did not have either the time or the budget for perfection. There were stutters that read far more like actors forgetting their lines than they did like natural pauses. I also was not thrilled with the death fake out. Like, I am very much glad we did not see Aaron self-harm, and that some of the other torture he went through gets dampened a bit by dream sequence shenanigans. I figured that they were not actually going to kill Aaron off, but they do spend quite a lot of time letting the audience think he is dead, and I am not super appreciative of that.

[alphamalereviewsfanfics]

CAN YOU TASTE MY LUST? CAN YOU FEEL MY SIN? By Heartofhubris

SUMMARY: “But, the issue had arisen during your nights when he filtered into your dreams. Nights of imagining him taking you in the pews,laying you out on the dark woodtostrip you bare to his whims.
When you focused back into the Father, you felt your blush travel up to your ears. The thoughts would only offer more confessions, and you didn’t want to add in more sins you had to confess.
“We are all sinners,” Father Ford said.

Enjoy the sacrilege, you damn heathen

Priest Ford AU where he's aware of what he can do and he does it.”

PREGAME: Happy Easter my fellow alphas!!!!! My partner requested this one and I thought it would be silly if I was a bit sacreligious on this holiday because I kinda hate it 😎😎😎 not because of like the religious shit itself but like because the rabbit shit doesn’t compute in my brain and also because of how my family celebrates good ole Easter but what can you do. I’m not catholic, but I was raised pretty non-denominational Christian and I haven’t been to church since I was 10 so like I know nothing about this shit. I’ll take most of my knowledge from watching midnight mass so like if it’s insanely inaccurate to how this catholic shit goes then that’s not on me that’s on the author, who describes themself as “catholicphobic.” Also I only read this twice instead of my usual five times before reviewing so sorry if the review sucks ass that’s just the alpha way though.

REVIEW: When I was younger I desperately wanted to learn latin. I watched this Wes Anderson movie called Rushmore (it was an earlier one so it wasn’t filled with the crazy aesthetics he has now) and I was in love with the idea of taking Latin and going to a Latin club and reviving an almost dead language. It drove me mad and I would try to teach myself Latin with google translate (because duolingo and sites like that weren’t really a thing) and I learned all about the etymology of words in the English language and I was obsessed with it and I would tell everyone what the root of certain words was and it annoyed the shit out of people (especially my sister). Anyways the point of all this is that Latin is not sexy. And it never will be sexy to me. And I don’t know why I was so fucking hung up on the mention of latin because like there aren’t even any latin words in this fic!!!!! It just mentions it!!!! So moral of the story don’t be me. This is pretty well written though bro. The author succeeds with constructing a kinda like repentance vibe in the first few sentences. Like it feels like there’s nothing else to be written besides priest porn. Like that’s the end goal. Even if there wasn’t priest porn in it I would get the vibes of priest porn like just read the first few sentences l think Aw man this’ll either be some good religious horror novel or some killer priest porn. And I respect the hell out of that bro like it got the tone down bro. And like the porn itself is pretty well written like man I’m bewildered that the tone just fit so well bro like I don’t get it I’m baffled bro this is insane!!!!!! Like the porn was so well written bro it has tone and emotion to it you don’t get usually bro trust me. Anyways my partner said they were really into this fic and I gotta support them on that it was well written even if I find the father thing kinda silly but like I don’t know I’ve never tried it. Also priests are silly and I couldn’t see Ford into religion like characterization wise buuut I’m putting the mischaracterization aside because it’s just made for people who want to get off to priest ford pines and I gotta respect that. So if you’re into ford pines and you’re into priest shit this fine Easter Sunday then do some sacrilegious shit and read this fic

RATING: 6/8 fingers (BETA MALE STATUS)

Happy Easter and Ramadan and Passover and death anniversary of Margaret Thatcher my alphas 😎😎💪💪🔥🔥🔥

[mintmillipede]

things i noticed in the good omens 2 opening title sequence part 1

i watched this frame by frame and have had many thoughts. i'll put things which are interpretation or my perspective in purple. feel free to watch along whilst you read if you haven't seen it yet.

also couple of disclaimers which u may feel free to skip: i grew up with chrisitan iconography but am not christian but because of that i know more about that perspective of abrahamic texts so keep that in mind! i'm using guy as a vibe more than a gender but am happy to take criticism on that bc i'm not sure myself yet. also i haven't looked at any other analyses because i want this to be like a fun little puzzle so apologies for overlap/missing things/being wrong. ok enjoy!

ok, scene 1. mountain range, not sure which one but it could be a biblical reference? so possibly judaean mountains but that is a big stretch. aziraphale is coming down from the heavens whilst crowley emerges from a glowing orange crater, which looks a lot like hell especially with the context later in the intro.

they emerge behind a rock into scene 2 into a tunnel and crowley lights a match with his hell powers? this actually interests me because why use a match if you have fire powers? perhaps he's conserving miracles.

scene 3: we don't actually see them emerge from the tunnel, they're seen up ahead later. we start with an animal's skull in the foreground, and i think it's a ram. there's other ram skeletal remains later and there are various rams eating on the hills. from stage right enters: a delivery guy. they've got a delicate package. it's giving me like holy land vibes? idk i grew up christian and it's like christian movie landscape to me.

anyway the delivery guy is trailing behind a figure all in black who is almost camouflaged in the murky landscape. there's also a tree by them which i think is a mustard seed tree!!! there's a parable about it and it's the vibe of starting from small beginnings like the small little mustard seed grows into a tree which birds chill on.

the figure in black is following a couple of steps behind aziraphale and crowley, and they pass a little ram on a rock which has a fleece which reddens. rams were often used as sacrifices in the old testament and probably in other abrahamic texts. not a good omen.

a raven is on a cart with bags which look like they are full of coin. they are having a little snack. this may be about matthew 6:26 where jesus basically says don't worry so much about money look god's feeding the ravens (sometimes translated as birds in general) and they suck (bc they are seen as unclean maybe because they eat carcasses) and you're better than them. it's like god cares for fucking ravens so he's gonna care for you sinners. also they're omens of death. this will be important very shortly.

there's also some real funky looking birds with four legs on the mountain and those were not in the bible (/j idk if they are or not but i couldn't remember them and i feel like i would have). and the paths on the mountains are scrolls, suggesting maybe that the world around them is literally made of scripture.

crowley sets fire to a little bb ram and now they're all on fire it's very mean of him. no i am not colouring that in purple. i think in this context it might be to cleanse the sins of humanity?

scene 4! finally ok immediately wtf aziraphale why are you secretly a lamp??? my bf thinks this is a supernatural show so i looked it up to spite him and there's a bunch of references to lamps in the torah and talmud but bc english-speaking christians can't be bothered to learn hebrew or greek the bible has the most direct reference i could find: 'the spirit of man is the lamp of the lord'

also crowley is a vibe! not sure what gender she's presenting as here but i'm hazarding a guess as femme. blue has a bunch of meanings but none i was sure about, but i saw a bunch of references to the sky. the funky guy behind him does have a human face with a helmet of black hair i think and is carrying something big that i cannot make out. the person in front of them is giving zombie and they are in a graveyard and there's more context later imo for that being accurate.

going stage left, we have another aziraphale and crowley, not in disguise. if i had to guess, these would be muriel and another new ally who are disguised as them to take the heat off of them. i think.

everyday on a gravestone? could be a reference to the song everyday by buddy holly which has been used in promo so far. it's a song about working up the courage to ask someone out... which could signify a development in aziraphale and crowley's relationship but also could signify something coming in the plot relating to heaven/hell. on a gravestone, the song could reference the fast approach of death. could be a combo of these things too. or could be none! i am no oracle. or am i...

at the back, a bucket of pickled herring is being transported by a skrungly little guy. pickled herring does have links to jewish culture but we know there's a pickled herring scene in edinburgh which maybe more suggests scottish fishing culture (not that the two are mutually exclusive of course). the guy travelling alongside the cart with a goth vibe has a shovel suggesting he's a gravedigger.

jane austen! suggests some of her themes popping up in the show but also suggests they're around winchester cathedral, and it does look like they're going into a building but it looks more like a crypt/mausoleum to me. i tried to find more information about a building like this in winchester but i was looking on ecosia and thus found nothing.

here lies the former shell of beelzebub is a canon reason for the change of actors, but here lies adam?!?!??! i know time could have just passed, but it's still mean!!!!! maybe it's a different adam?

scene 5! i think they've entered down a secret passageway in the crypt - you can see some coffins there and i think the masonry fits well enough. we've got some more people following behind the ones who are dressed like azi and crowley. it's a bit too blurry but i've spotted a few who could be aziraphale in disguise as the odd lantern is gone - i think though he is dressed as the gravedigger now as the original gravedigger seems to have changed their garb. a few more could be crowley although crowley's original form with the blue headscarf is still there. the figure in white near the front gives me undead vibes. helmet hair guy is more visible now. we've got someone holding a lantern near the back who is a vibe (could be religious or in some way guiding the souls of the dead). they're followed by a real funky looking guy who i think is wearing a mask??? hard to tell

ok so so so there is so much around them. skeletons and gravestones suggest we're still in a cemetery. if you look on the left, it's the box the delivery guy from the beginning had!!! so many thoughts about this. mentions of a delivery are everywhere. this box is in the recent prime insta post with angel and demon feathers emerging from it. basically this is very very important, so how did it end up here? was the delivery guy buried with this on his body?

we see a web. we'll come back to that!

little feature i like the skull we see has a backbone and a ribcage which is a vibe

scene 6! a lot of ppl too many to talk about in full but def some skeletons. i think religious figures. there's a cool looking punk? too many things so many stimuli. anyway i think this is a crowd of undead people being led into hell to assist on a mission. why just the undead?

they're exiting something that looks like the crypt they came in from, suggesting it's a secret entrance to hell. might this be where hastur met crowley in season 1?

we've got a big wheel which looks like it's used for some kind of pulley contraption imo, but i don't think it would be for the guillotine unless they wanted to adapt the guillotine somehow, perhaps automate it? big stretch

we've got the pyres of files and computers and office chairs. this is a metaphor for capitalism sucking balls.

web! like before. ok so theories perhaps it's a metaphor showing the web of all of the connecting entrances. perhaps it's a big magic hell thing drawing power from everywhere to its centre. perhaps hell listens to people from webs. maybe demons can travel through webs? idk maybe one of these is 25% right. also later we see a spooder so maybe she has laid eggs?

oooh mysterious fire cave. mayb that's where satan is chilling. the inverted pentacle's outside of it. could also be the government of sorts. my boyf thinks it looks like a skeletal face in a witch hat and i think he is festering with lies.

leetle dragon gargoyle!!!! i love her she can do no wrong

i like to think we see the different stages of their headquarters. the castle was the first, the grey building is the current/s1 one, and the blueish lighting is coming from what they're upgrading to. this may also be why there's the pyres of stuff: they're doing a little clear out!

also the crushed metally thing in the foreground... i don't want to say it's the bentley.............. so i will not i refuse to be devastated before the show has even begun

scene 7: we come out of the stairs leading up to the public loos by liberty's london which is right next to soho, the implication being that that's another entrance to hell which is in fact true irl. the old-timey underground logo (probs oxford circus) suggests we're not in present day (so maybe adam is fine! or maybe they're time travelling?) which suggests we're in the blitz (ww2) because of the barrage balloon and the aircrafts. this is also suggested by the old routemaster bus.

ok we're up to 0:33! coffee break meet back in like a day i did not expect this trailer ok i have things to pretend to do

[unforth]

I. Hurt.

And I was hurting anyway, I'm pretty down this morning, but this hurt came from an outside source, and affected me in a way I'd honestly not have expected.

See, we bought Nimona last week. After seeing the movie, my kids wanted to read it. And I ended up reading ahead, and I just finished it.

Bonus content at the end, it said, and I was like, oh, an epilogue to the epilogue maybe? That'd be nice. I don't love bittersweet endings, I'd rather...

...no, it's not the conclusion.

It's CHRISTMAS.

In a book that'd had no religion that I noticed up to that point, BOTH bonus extras...were Christmas.

Ya know, usually it doesn't bother me. Usually I just suck it up. I think it helps that I was raised around mostly Jews and people who, if Christian, it didn't matter much to them. I'm from the Upper West Side of Manhattan, the descendent of Lower East Side immigrants, and while the world outside was brutal - my grandfather was a World War 2 veteran and among the soldiers who liberated Dachau, I can't remember a time when I didn't know that most people would look the other way if people like me were slaughtered wholesale - my bubble was safe, we were accepted, we were insiders.

I honestly can't think of another time I've interacted with a piece of media and felt so immediately, instantly knocked across the face by OUTSIDER as I just did when I excitedly turned the page to see what these fun extra bonuses were...and it was fucking Christmas.

I didn't even read them.

I'm honestly. So disappointed.

I don't have a thick armor for this kind of hurt. I'm Jewish, and as an adult living outside my old UWS bubble, that's often meant I've felt like an outlier, but I've hardly ever had this feeling where I was welcome to something only to be suddenly, violently shoved out the door.

And I've heard nothing, n.o.t.h.i.n.g. but praise for this book. And on another day, it might not have bothered me. I've never really felt like I had to fight to be seen, especially since I'm tremendously secular. I mean, I've celebrated Christmas my entire life, for starters.

But why. Why was this fantasy setting suddenly Christian? Why was this the touted extra content? Why is THIS special, when the areligious world established to that point was apparently not special enough?

I can't say yet if this ruined the story for me. It's far too soon. But I'm *intensely*, viscerally let down, and...I hurt.

Christians...maybe stop doing this shit.

[rreskk]

HEADCANONS: Trevor Philips (long edition)

TW: -Sexual and suggestive content -Mentions of drugs

-Have been in and out of pyschwards since childhood to adulthood. His mental health record is bombarded with therapists desperate for referrals and struggling for an accurate diagnosis.

-Babies absolutely hate Trevor. Being near him causes them to cry and cause a scene. He doesn’t even have to do anything to make them cry, being there is enough.

-Used to go to festivals regularly before meeting Michael to sell drugs for easy money (earning enough to skip rented rooms).

-Was apart of a punk band in his later teens but was kicked out for fighting the other members, but also starting a riot in an underground bar when he was supposed to be performing. He played guitar, occasionally backup vocalist.

-Trevor used to go to theatre clubs in his early childhood but his mother couldn’t afford to keep him in the classes (or couldn’t be bothered).

-He looks more like his mother than his father.

-Has a bed-wetting problem, even now (due to his drug abuse and… Well, inability to control his bladder).

-He made Michael help groom his moustache back in North Yankton.

-Has nightmares about jerking off too much that his dick won’t work.

-Trevor will reference hardcore literature quotes but will REFUSE to read any fictional book.

-Can go without blinking for over 5 minutes.

-Believed in Santa until he was 14 years old.

-His voicemail would be like this: *peeing in the background* If you ain’t sucking my meth or dick, fuck off or I’ll come over and rip your scalp off with a butterknife.

-Tried to pose for a mugshot back in North Yankton when he was arrested for drink driving… He tried to pull out his penis and jerk off for the picture but got tackled and restrained.

-Would often find himself trying on strangers high-heels in nightclubs and will proceed to test run in them (one time he fell and broke his nose because of it).

-One Halloween party back in the Mid-West, he dressed as a slutty-priest and ended up sleeping with an actual priest.

-Bites his toe-nails.

-Is a good drawer (but soooo bad at painting).

-Definitely has an eBay account, where he sells used underwear (saying they’re untouched and new) and broken Car Wheels so he can send them off and get money from scamming people.

-Has a collection of panties from hookers and strippers (he uses them sometimes).

-He has MASSIVE feet. I’m talking like… He has to buy boots from military websites because none in shops would fit him.

-Secretly has a fetish of Christian women (and taking their virginity) – This is inspired by Type O Negative’s song: Christian woman.

-Owned a dirt bike before story-mode but he had it taken away by cops (and since hasn’t had it returned).

-Used to make fake female moaning sounds in public places then pretend it wasn’t him so he can watch people argue and fight.

-Has a weakness for women in general. If you’re a lady and you want to buy meth, he’ll lower the prices and will try and persuade you to “spend quality time with your dealer to build trust and foundation” which basically means… So he can finger and have sex with you.

-Has attachments to his flings and hookers (will most likely spam call them when he’s sad or bored).

-His favourite movie is probably pulp fiction or Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

[yulsbabymama]

Disventure Camp Headcanons Part 1

AIDEN

Half Argentinian Half French Canadian

Had a huge TOP phase in middle school

Only child

Super good singer but hates hearing his voice

ALEC

Afro-Turkish and Japanese

Diagnosed w Autism when he was a child

Smokes

Started drinking shortly after he got married; relapsed after his separation w his ex

Has an older sister by 7 years

ALLY

Transgirl; came out to her grandfather and he was the only supporter she had

Definitely had obsessive love disorder when meeting Hunter the first time

Super fucking bad at dancing

Likes K-pop (Fromis_9, Stray Kids, Billlie, P1harmony, Enhypen, Stayc, aespa, ITZY)

ASHLEY

Country music defender

will actually die on the Country Music hill

like she's from Texas but she's FROM TEXAS ykwim

Transgirl; realized she was a girl at a young age and transitioned w a supporting family

Would probably roll her eyes at u if u assume she loved AppleJack when she was younger

I mean, she did

but not as much as ppl assume

CONNOR

Jewish

Despite having a booming business, he still doesn't understand technology

but he WAS a boss at programming his MySpace page

"programming is my passion" college dude

Nickelback liker

I'm so sorry

DAN

He and his sister shared a bedroom until she moved out

Actually convinced her to come back home bc he missed her

like

crying on his knees

"PLEASE COME HOME IT'S SO MISERABLE WITHOUT U THERE I MISS U"

blasting a radio to her favorite songs

did i mention he loves his sister

Pokemon kid

Oh, he's also autistic

DEREK

Half Filipino and half Columbian

Transguy; was an unhappy "girl" growing up and would refuse to listen to anyone who didn't call "her" by Derek

Facebook user

only to troll, tho

He tried trolling on Twitter too but Trevor had to pry the phone out of his hands

Secretly likes Trevor

and by secretly I mean he angry-cried while writing drafted emails of his confession

Barely cries or anything like that, emotionally, but angry-crying is his #1 basically

Is not a registered gun owner

DREW

Other than the notebook, he has a communication device

Adopted

Video games hurt his eyes

so do mobile games

Honestly i think he just needs glasses

likes dogs :)

ELLIE

Half Irish and Half Singaporean

Transgirl; came out in her last year of junior high

Middle child w two sisters

While struggling w her identity, she was a Pick Me girl to fit in #sad!

she ended up giving up on fitting in #gogirl

Malay's her first language

Mom passed when she was little

tolerates cats

FIORE

3/4th Italian 1/4th Chinese

hates horror movies

not bc she's scared of them or anything

she just thinks they suck

forced into a ton of shit to become normal

girlscouts, ballet, soccer, etc

she hated everything

but she can make a good cookie deal

GABBY

Has an unhealthy obsession w watching drag shows

she doesn't understand any of the lingo

she just thinks the outfits r pretty

LPS kid

also watches too much animal documentaries

will actually sit down and say "im bored, time to watch a 6 hour doc on cheetahs"

she just cray cray like that #loveher

unhealthy addiction to stickers

GRETT

Transgirl #slay

was a Toddlers & Tiaras kid

passenger princess

forces Yul to drive her places

they have almost broken up 5 times bc of this

she also genuinely forgot to tell him she was #trans

u should've seen the look on his face

when

..

yeah

#hedidnotcare

that's ooc but idc

she's bi :3

HUNTER

Half Chinese Half White

Dad left after his youngest sister was born

Lived in China until he was 8

He has autism

Christian btw

like pslam bunch-of-numbers in his bio

can quickly change languages like that

will talk to u in english then will answer his phone in cantonese

texts like a millennial

:/ sorry

smokes

the killers, staind, blink-182, and r.e.m fan

plays the guitar

JAKE

Half Korean Half Japanese

cannot speak those languages fluently, tho

sorry

he and his brother wrestled a lot

his brother would always win

anyways he was a theater kid

but quit bc of some drama

haha. get it ?

one of those gays who cries to mitski & ricky montgomery

but only listens to them when he needs to cry

which is often

JAMES

has been in cringe compilations before

imagine if i just ended this w just that hc

would that be funny

anyways

one of those middle schoolers who was violently supportive of the lgbtq+

like everyone knew he liked boys

except him

loves his younger sister

like a lot

they r bffies

will call her in the middle of the night randomly

"i just posted a new tiktok, go like it."

JENSEN

genuinely have nothing for him

like

can i just say he's dreamed of men shirtless before and end it at that

um so yeah

[jonasgroan]

I love this interview, particularly the part about how, initially, no one seemed to get that the movie was supposed to be satire and only her and Christian Bale were laughing at the premiere. Because it was really always so obvious. Like the first time I saw it, going in assuming it was some sort of “totally fucked up horror” like everyone said it was, and I first saw the business card scene I was filled with such ecstatic glee. It’s not laugh out loud funny for me, but it’s like I want to pause the movie and be super obnoxious and gush over how perfectly hilarious every aspect of this scene is and make sure everyone is just taking it all in and appreciating what’s happening. I feel that way every time I’ve seen it since, and I’m sure it’s very annoying for everyone.

I can’t imagine how much this movie would have sucked if Leonardo DiCaprio was cast. He’s such a joyless, unfunny, man.